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The 55 Best Romantic Comedies of All Time

There is no “best” romantic comedy. Something is funny when someone laughs, or romantic when their heart swells, for better or for worse, and we have no right to say why one of these should top another. Your uncle, or cube-mate might say, “That’s stupid. Breakfast at Tiffany’s is obviously the best rom-com of all time.” And they may not be wrong. But maybe you have some reservations about the horrifyingly racist overtones in some of that movie’s scenes, even though you can’t help loving Audrey Hepburn. Maybe it’s the best for a certain time period. It’s tough. Comedy is subjective. So is romance.

It’s for this reason that we had such a good time making this list, at least initially. And lots of help. People keep a special place in their heart for romantic comedies. They talk about them differently than other movies, and they like to talk about them a lot. When the call went out, we heard from writers, editors, friends, moms, therapists, bartenders, people we hadn’t talked to since high school; the list goes on. The initial gathering of candidates was great fun; the subsequent reaping less so.

First, we had to limit the category. We love Dazed and Confused and it contains plenty of romance, and comedy, but we can’t be sure it’s a romantic comedy per se. Same with Secretary, McCabe & Mrs. Miller, My Girl, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, and about 500 other films. We don’t have enough space here to get into exactly what makes a romantic comedy, but let’s agree that the fact it is not a tragedy or a history is not enough. Somewhere we have to draw the line between the actual rom-coms and the coming of age movies, or mysteries, or adventures.

It’s for this reason we need to apologize in advance: A number of your favorite romantic comedies will not be on this list. Some of them didn’t fit the mold. Others—and this part got a little heated—we just couldn’t get on board with. Decisions had to be made. Hopefully, as a benefit to any disappointment of missing favorites, you’ll find some new ones you didn’t yet know you liked. After all, that’s the message from Pretty Woman, right? It’s important to keep an open mind. Otherwise, you could be making a big mistake, big, huge.

These are the best 55 rom-coms for every situation. We hope you love them.

The Best Rom-Com . . .

. . . to put your one-night stand in perspective:

Obvious Child (2014)

Photo: Everett Collection

The hardest you’ll ever laugh about abortion. That’s right, abortion. Talk about playing with fire, but this tender, deeply human comedy from director Gillian Robespierre finds entirely new ways into the story of losing Mr. Wrong, then Finding Mr. Right (by having our hero, a struggling comedian—played by the irrepressibly honest and infinitely endearing Jenny Slate—get drunk with Mr. Right, sleep with Mr. Right, get pregnant by Mr. Right, and then deal with the consequences). While riotously funny, Obvious Child set a new standard for intimacy, and Robespierre’s ribbed, tone-perfect writing and Slate’s raw but intelligent performance managed to shape a millennial mirror more reflective than anything Girls could put forward in six seasons. And give us the abortion comedy we didn’t know we needed.

. . . to deal with your workplace crush(es):

Broadcast News (1987)

Photo: Everett Collection

In the mid to late ’80s, there was nothing bigger than TV news and James L. Brooks, and Broadcast News was their meeting ground. After the slaphappy, very silly, and very male comedies of the late ’70s and early ’80s (think Animal House, Porky’s, and Revenge of the Nerds), and alongside the epic big-budget projects like Ghostbusters and the original Indiana Jones, James L. Brooks continued to redefine what rom-coms could be with this sprawling, occasionally dramatic but never self-serious, workplace comedy. We root for Albert Brooks’s Aaron Altman, the brainy, nervous, serious journalist who competes for the affections of neurotic producer Jane Craig (Holly Hunter) against the impossibly polished (and intellectually inferior) Tom Grunick (William Hurt). Brooks is the producer behind films like Bottle Rocket, Say Anything . . ., and Big, and TV series like Mary Tyler Moore, Taxi, and The Simpsons. No one knows how to get at our hearts—thoughtfully, gracefully, and with humor—like James L. Brooks. And this is him at his peak.

. . . to see past a gruff exterior:

Beauty and the Beast (1991)

©Buena Vista Pictures/Courtesy Everett Collection

“Tale as old as time . . .” It really is. Lonely, powerful dudes have been making off with damsels and then hiding them away since at least Greek mythology and probably before. Where Disney scored with its animated musical was in—pardon the pun—reanimating that classic story line in a way that was appealing to our eyes and ears, and that of our kids’, while maintaining some real danger in the narrative. It’s a triumph they repeated with Aladdin and The Lion King, but is especially notable with a romance—making the stakes high enough—and real, even when accompanied by singing teapot—that we root for these characters to end up together.

..for when you’re in the mood for first love, Wes Anderson-style.

Moonrise Kingdom (2012)

“I will meet you in the meadow,” writes bespectacled Sam (Jared Gilman) to serious Suzy (Kara Heyward) as they prepare to run away together. Wes Anderson’s Moonrise Kingdom, a whimsical tale of a romance betwixt a pair of wise-beyond-their-years 12-year-olds (beautifully art-directed and accessorized as always), is a tonic to the jaded palate. The children, with their barely sexual, pure-hearted affection for each other, could teach the misbehaving adults around them a thing or two about love. Who wouldn’t want to dance on the beach in their underwear to Françoise Hardy?

. . . to get you over getting over your ex:

The Philadelphia Story (1940)

Courtesy Everett Collection

The credits of The Philadelphia Story read like something out of a dream: Cary Grant and Jimmy Stewart vying for the love of Katharine Hepburn. It’s produced by Joseph L. Mankiewicz (writer of All About Eve and Cleopatra), and directed by George Cukor (who made 1954’s A Star Is Born, Justine, and My Fair Lady, and once told Marilyn Monroe, “That will be just fine, darling” when, about to film a skinny-dipping scene for Something’s Got To Give, she expressed her concern that she only knew how to dog-paddle). The Philadelphia Story relies on some dependable tropes—lovers who’ve fallen out; will-they-or-won’t-they-get-back-together—that have provided romantic tension from A Midsummer Night’s Dream to Crazy, Stupid, Love. But it’s Hepburn, aiming for a comeback following some serious bombs, and her witty repartee with her two love interests, Grant (her yacht-designing reformed bad boy of an ex-husband) and Stewart (a tabloid reporter), that is the movie’s bread and butter. The Main Line has never been so well represented.

. . . to take on a trip:

Lost in Translation (2003)

©Focus Films/Courtesy Everett Collection

There was never any doubt that Scarlett Johansson was going to be a mega star, but Sofia Coppola’s movie—about the lonely wife of a photographer who befriends an over-the-hill movie star (Bill Murray) while visiting Tokyo—is what made the world stand up and realize we were dealing with a serious actor. Like many of the films on this list, Lost in Translation takes place in a bourgeois universe, where the greatest thing at risk is someone’s heart, or future emotional happiness, but few films have so effectively crystalized the alienation of both travel and marriage, as well as the difficulties of postcollegiate, and then midlife, malaise. The older man and the younger woman don’t so much meet-cute as crash into each other, picking up each other’s pieces, redeeming each other’s lives as they navigate their surreal setting. It’s a match made in heaven—and without spoiling anything, their goodbye scene is among the best in Hollywood history.

. . . to reevaluate your checklist:

Clueless (1995)

©Paramount/Courtesy Everett Collection

The motherless daughter, caring for her father and looking for her prince, is a trope that goes back to the fairy tales, but how Alicia Silverstone (who plays our hero, Cher) and writer-director Amy Heckerling contemporized that narrative is what made what could have been a silly teen flick into an instant classic. They imported a Jane Austen story line of a meddling would-be matchmaker (Emma) into a bright pink, plastic, kids-are-adults world of Beverly Hills privilege populated by overly dramatic in-talk (“Whatever!”; “As if!”), lunatic high fashion, and decidedly un-relatable problems. At the same time, they maintained a storybook sensibility, and somehow kept our sympathies with the lovelorn Cher, whose insipidness is overshadowed by her charity, loyalty, and genuine goodwill. We believe she deserves love, and if she gets smart enough to stop looking for it in the “right” places, we want her to find it.

. . . to help you sort out what to do with the rest of your life:

The Graduate (1967)

Courtesy Everett Collection

This is the film on this list that is least certainly a rom-com; it caused a bit of a row, in fact. Some of us believe that this movie is ultimately too sad to give the viewer the warm fuzzies they depend on this genre for. Others argue that this line of thinking may confuse what’s depressing with what’s complicated. The story of the listless Benjamin Braddock, recent graduate of Williams College, who begins an affair with his father’s partner’s wife, and ends up falling for her daughter, did more to advance the critical value of comedy than perhaps any other film. (Not to mention the sexual viability of Williams grads.) There may be no more iconic line than Dustin Hoffman’s “Mrs. Robinson, you’re trying to seduce” but this movie is so much more than dialogue. (Note: Hoffman might have been playing 21 when he said this line, but the actor was 29; Anne Bancroft, the supposedly senior Mrs. Robinson, was all of 35.) Oft-quoted, ripped off, referenced, and discussed, Mike Nichols’s 1967 romp through Braddock’s postcollegiate uncertainties was released a few months after the Summer of Love, as the counterculture had peaked and what Hunter S. Thompson called the “high and beautiful wave” was getting ready to roll back. Young America was, and to some extent still is, Benjamin Braddock, which reveals the power of this film.

. . . to ask for assistance in the ol’ love department:

Sleepless in Seattle (1993)

©TriStar Pictures/Courtesy Everett Collection

Tom Hanks had been responsible for some ’80s hits—Splash and Big—but with Nora Ephron’s 1993 film about a widower whose son calls in to a radio show in an attempt to find him a new wife, he cemented himself as America’s favorite, well, person. Meg Ryan, his competition for that title (at least in the ’90s), plays an unhappily engaged Baltimore Sun reporter who writes Hanks’s character on a whim, asking him to meet her at the top of the Empire State Building (cue: An Affair to Remember) on Valentine’s Day. Utterly contrived, but utterly charming, this quick, silly, funny film is pabulum superfood for anyone who believes in second chances and true love.

. . . to leave the past behind you:

Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961)

Courtesy Everett Collection

No one has stolen more hearts than Holly Golightly (Audrey Hepburn). Based on Truman Capote’s 1958 (harsher) novella of the same name, Breakfast at Tiffany’s—the story of a friendship struck between a rarely employed writer, Paul Varjak, and his neighbor, the naïvely beautiful Golightly, a freewheeling party girl whose lifestyle is paid for by the rich suitors who surround her—is a building block of our Hollywood romantic fantasies. It has the unclassifiable, magnetic object of affection, the reliable underdog who pursues her, expectations dashed, new friendships formed, true selves discovered, and an undeniably racist portrayal of an Asian landlord (by Mickey Rooney). Yes, it was a different era, but this detail can be difficult to ignore. That said, there are generations of viewers who consider this the greatest rom-com of all time.

. . . to get past that one little (or gigantic) flaw:

Moonstruck (1987)

©MGM/Courtesy Everett Collection

Cher plays a widowed bookkeeper in Brooklyn Heights confronting her parents’ infidelity (and fallibility) who—whoops!—falls for her fiancé’s younger brother (Nicolas Cage), who sports a prosthetic wooden hand after an accident with a bread slicer. Their first night together produces one of the great moments in the annals of rom-coms: When Cage tells Cher he loves her, she slaps him, saying “Snap out of it!” The film portrays a New York that doesn’t really exist anymore—for one thing, Brooklyn Heights is full of bankers now. It’s a window to another time, when marriage meant something different in male-dominated second-generation immigrant families and the challenges Cher’s character places against the social order are both important and revelatory (she won an Oscar for her efforts). You end up cheering not just for her romance, but also for an entire insurgency.

. . . to put the fuckboys behind you:

Bridget Jones’s Diary (2001)

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Hollywood does this silly, shitty thing when they want to make it clear that a woman is “funny”: They make her clumsy. “Did you see that? She fell down in front of the boss she has a crush on while carrying many things! What a wit!” Thankfully, this film is actually funny, and so is Renée Zellweger, the titular Bridget Jones, who is 32 and a bit clumsy, and believes herself to be both a tad overweight and running short of romantic options. She confesses to her diary her feelings about the men in her life: her caddish colleague, Daniel (Hugh Grant), and her pill of a childhood friend, Mark Darcy (if that surname sounds familiar from one of your favorite literary comedies, that’s not by coincidence), who begin vying for her hesitant affections in their respectively charmless ways. Who will win—the nice guy or the jerk? The clumsy, funny, openhearted girl, of course! The story has a classic but important lesson to share: First impressions aren’t everything (and a fashion-related takeaway—never judge a man by his Christmas sweater).

. . . to make you even more neurotic about your love life:

Annie Hall (1977)

Courtesy Everett Collection

Like Breakfast at Tiffany’s, this is one of those movies that any list of top rom-coms would be remiss without. Yes, Alvy Singer’s (Woody Allen) story about how he met, and then lost, and then maybe regained, the love of his life, Annie Hall (Diane Keaton), is a wonderfully funny underdog-meets-girl story. But Allen’s uniquely observational humor also introduced some pioneering tropes and storytelling devices to the annals of rom-coms. The moment his grade school classmates stand up and give short peaks into their future (“I used to be a heroin addict; now I’m a methadone addict”). Or when Alvy interrupts a pedantic professor in a movie line—lecturing his date on Marshall McLuhan—by bringing the actual Marshall McLuhan out from behind a sign to set the man straight. These established entirely new directions for comedy. Moreover, Allen’s confessional style and the monologue with which he begins telling his warts-and-all fictional tale established a new paradigm for romantic storytelling, one that continues to influence rom-coms today (same for Diane Keaton’s outfits, but that’s a topic for another list).

. . . to get you pumped up:

Bring It On (2000)

©Universal/Courtesy Everett Collection

This is the pregame of romantic comedies. It’s a love story—between millennial hotties Kirsten Dunst and Jesse Bradford—packed into 98 minutes of jokes, rivalries, teen romance, and ridiculous cheers. (“Hate us ’cause we’re beautiful—well, we don’t like you either. We’re cheerleaders. We. Are. Cheerleaders!”) Some of us have defended this movie since it bowed (and then cartwheeled into an aerial walkover) in 2000 as a sharp appreciation of teen culture and teen cinema, both devoid of cynicism and long on wordplay. If you agree, welcome to the squad. If not, please keep in mind, “This is not a democracy; it’s a cheer-ocracy.”

. . . to take an break from yourself:

Roman Holiday (1953)

Courtesy Everett Collection

There’s a wonderful moment in Roman Holiday—the story of a European princess, played by Audrey Hepburn, who tires of her duties and runs away from her handlers while visiting Rome—when Joe (Gregory Peck), a reporter showing her the city, puts his arm in the Mouth of Truth (a statue that supposedly bites off the hand of liars) and removes it with his hand missing. The princess screams—Hepburn was apparently not acting here—and then recovers. It’s a metaphoric yawp for all that a romantic comedy should be. It’s being taken by surprise, taken by a stranger, the discovery a new side of oneself while falling for someone else. And that’s just one moment!

. . . to get him into rom-coms:

The Princess Bride (1987)

“Is this a kissing book?” Fred Savage’s little boy asks his grandfather, at his bedside to read him The Princess Bride when he’s home sick from school. Sure is, but it’s also a tale of swashbuckling, cruel kings, giants, swordsmen, poison, monsters, rebels, and knights—without a dull or unfunny moment. The kid, and the viewer, is quickly on board. More than anything, it’s a tale of true love, and fantastic as it might be, the adventure that leads the stable boy, Westley, back to his mistress, Buttercup (played by an impossibly beautiful Robin Wright), has left few hearts unmoved, and few faces without with smiles.

. . . to consider what you could have done differently:

Groundhog Day (1993)

©Columbia Pictures/Courtesy Everett Collection

One of the few rom-coms that comes with both a stamp of approval from your philosophy professor and the Tony reaches of Broadway. A cynical Pittsburgh weatherman (Bill Murray) is sent to Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, with his producer, Rita (Andie MacDowell) on a dead-end assignment: to cover Groundhog Day. And boy, is it a dead end. Murray gets stuck there, not just in a snowstorm, mind you, but in a continuous loop where no matter what he does—including suicide—he wakes up in the same hotel, on the same day. At first, the weatherman is predictably bummed, but eventually he uses all the information he’s picked up living the same day over and over to better himself and the lives of those around him, eventually impressing Rita with his change of personality. Watching Bill Murray is fun, watching Bill Murray struggle is really fun, and watching Bill Murray caught in a space-time logjam, wrestling with moral philosophy while pursuing Andie MacDowell is the most fun.

. . . to find “our song”:

Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist (2008)

Entertainment Pictures / Alamy Stock Photo

There’s something almost quaint about Norah’s search for her orgasm. The high schooler, played by Kat Dennings, is demeaned by her fellow classmates for having yet to experience the big O. It may sound tawdry, yet this plot point harkens back to a sweeter, John Hughes–era teen comedy (with a few switches flipped) wherein the search for a simple sex act was enough motivation for a number of scenes, if not an entire film. Norah’s lack of fulfillment isn’t what moves the action here; instead we’re on a search for her best friend and an oh-so-cool band’s secret show, with Nick’s (Michael Cera) hapless band, in his hapless car (a Yugo), through downtown New York City’s music scene. It’s a good-time flick, with cheerful performances and the kind of supporting cast (Ari Graynor as the beyond-drunk best friend) that make 90 minutes seem like a brisk 30. One of these is Alexis Dziena, who plays Nick’s very recent ex-girlfriend: She toyed with him and never appreciated the music mixes he made for her (spoiler: Norah loves them). Her “sexy” dance, in the glaring light of Nick’s high beams, to Hot Chocolate’s “You Sexy Thing” is one of the great falls from grace, and worth the price of admission.

. . . to inspire some big changes:

Pretty Woman (1990)

©Buena Vista Pictures/Courtesy Everett Collection

Is there a rom-com list that doesn’t include this movie? What’s left to say about the 1990 tale of the beautiful, charming prostitute and the Wall Street corporate raider who meet and fall in love? Here’s director Garry Marshall’s (and Julia Roberts and Richard Gere’s) genius with this film: They make us forget about the various horrors of sex work and instead convince us the whole thing is kind of a lark. This film takes place in the late 1980s; a high-water mark in terms of the HIV crisis. Those things aren’t on our minds when we watch this movie (barring an early scene discussing methods of birth control); we think about stomping divots and Richard Gere conquering his fear of heights. So what? The Great Escape doesn’t exactly feature the horrors of World War II. That’s not the story they’re telling. Exactly our point. That’s how delightful this movie is.

. . . to make your arguments a little sweeter:

Bringing Up Baby (1938)

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Here’s how cute rom-coms were in the 1930s: The entire plot rests on a dog burying a bone of a brontosaurus. Katharine Hepburn, whom the movie was written for, plays a whimsical, adorable socialite who has become besotted with an otherwise engaged (literally and figuratively) paleontologist, played by Cary Grant, and is trying to keep him around so he won’t go marry some pill. Her strategy for doing this is to invite him to her house so that he can help her bring a baby leopard to the city. (Later, the dog and the leopard wrestle.) This is what we call a screwball comedy. It’s also priceless, with Hepburn peppering Grant in her sweet, Gatling gun style, and Grant, playing stiff, as if any man, never mind a mild-mannered paleontologist, could ever resist such wiles.

. . . to make it a girls night:

10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

©Buena Vista Pictures/Courtesy Everett Collection

Why is there no actual Shakespeare on this list? Because often a three-hour production: (1) is rarely funny, and (2) doesn’t really fit into a modern romantic comedy structure. Instead, we have movies that are actually fun to watch, like Shakespeare in Love, and this one, a teen-ready take on The Taming of the Shrew. There are some cute turns from youngsters Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Julia Stiles, and Larisa Oleynik, but ask most women and the performance that sticks out is Heath Ledger’s, whose thuggish Patrick Verona made many of us weak in the knees. Like Bring It On, and unlike most films, especially teen films, this one is female focused. They’re the moral centers. The heroes we cheer for. And they are active in as much as the narrative as they are subject to it (rare!).

. . . to better understand your parents:

Beginners (2011)

©Focus Features/Courtesy Everett Collection

“The History of Sadness” is a sketchbook drawn by Ewan McGregor’s Oliver, a graphic designer who is dealing with the recent coming out of his septuagenarian father, Hal (Christopher Plummer—who won an Oscar for his performance). Hal’s new openness about his own life inspires Oliver to reevaluate his own sadness and pursue a lovely French actress, Anna. It’s an incredibly touching, difficult story, told mostly in flashback, that involves Oliver coming to grips with his father’s past, his parents’ relationship, his own choices, and his art. But it’s ultimately a love story. A story about how our parents love us, and each other—despite the difficulties imposed society, time, and work—and how in turn, we learn to love, or not. We’re all beginners, in all our loves, and to think otherwise is foolhardy.

. . . to freeze some already cold feet:

The Wedding Singer (1998)

©New Line Cinema/Courtesy Everett Collection

Millennials might not realize from Adam Sandler’s recent descent into perennial schlock (some of it racist and sexist)—like The Ridiculous 6, Blended, Jack and Jill, and Grown Ups—that his movies were, at one point, very funny. Billy Madisonand Happy Gilmore are ’90s classics, and The Wedding Singer, his only rom-com from that era (there’s some debate over whether P. T. Anderson’s Punch-Drunk Love, released in 2002, qualifies as such), is a hilarious, touching ode to traditional values. Set in the ’80s, Sandler’s Robbie Hart is a wedding singer (and hopeless romantic) recently left at the altar who helps Drew Barrymore’s Julia plan her wedding to the wrong man. Sandler and Barrymore’s chemistry is off the charts, and this film—not Mad Love, sorry—established the actress as rom-com gold (see Never Been Kissed, 50 First Dates, and Fever Pitch). The romance is great, the jokes are great, the costumes are great, and not to ruin anything, but Billy Idol is pretty great too.

. . . to get you singing and dancing (and maybe moving to L.A.):

La La Land (2016)

©Lions Gate/Courtesy Everett Collection

The highway scene. Ryan Gosling hunkered over the piano. Emma Stone embodying “irrepressible.” His dance on the boardwalk. Her spins. The way she pulls at her dress. The way he grins while he smolders. Their love. It’s a panacea for the reasons we go to the movies. At no point do we believe they won’t end up together, but we stay transfixed, in fact we tap along. For younger viewers—those of us who might not have drank down the moving magic of Singin’ in the Rain, West Side Story, or Gigi—Damien Chazelle’s La La Land forgives those lapses. It embraces their greatness as it embraces us in its giant, vibrant arms. We lean closer to the screen, not to learn but to feel for the whole experience of youth and performance: all that hope, drive, sweat, and love. Can’t forget love.

. . . to kick-start your career goals:

Singin’ in the Rain (1952)

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Here’s the thing: You’re not really allowed to like La La Land if you don’t like Singin’ in the Rain. Or, you at least have to watch it; it’s the original musical about making it in Hollywood. The story of a sellout leading man (Gene Kelly) who falls for the chorus girl (Debbie Reynolds) who might just change his life (and he hers), this 1950s romp through 1920s Hollywood really has it all: singing, dancing, and bedrock songs like “Make ’Em Laugh,” “Good Morning,” and of course, “Singin’ in the Rain.” It’s cute as hell and tap-happy to the extreme.

. . . to unplug from the office (and get your due):

How Stella Got Her Groove Back (1998)

The movie that inspired 90 percent of vacation hookup jokes since 1998 (but seriously, we need to talk about Taye Diggs in a puka shell necklace; the man can make anything look good). Workaholic executive and single mom Stella (Angela Bassett) finds more than she bargains for when her best friend, played by Whoopi Goldberg, convinces her to take a much-deserved Caribbean vacation. Cheeky, subversive, and sexy as hell, this movie turned the tables on so many male-dominated rom-coms (courtesy of one very hot and heavy matchup between Bassett and Diggs, playing some 20 years her junior)—and passes the Bechdel test with flying colors. One of the very few rom-coms to do so.

. . . to get dressed up for:

Tootsie (1982)

©Columbia Pictures/Courtesy Everett Collection

Michael Dorsey (Dustin Hoffman) is a New York actor who is such a perfectionist, no one wants to work with him. So he does what any rational man would do: He dresses as an entirely different person—an older woman who goes by then name of Tootsie—and lands a role on a soap opera where he becomes a sensation. Problems arise when he falls in love with his costar (Jessica Lange) and a fellow castmate, an older man, falls in love with him. It’s madcap and zany but also profoundly funny, with insights aplenty—it sends up television, sexism, and New York society—and performances that were Oscar-worthy (Lange’s in particular—of Tootsie’s 10 Oscar nominations, she’s the only one who walked away with a statue).

. . . to reevaluate the nice guy (and the bad boy):

Something Wild (1986)

©Orion Pictures Corp/Courtesy Everett Collection

Before Johnathan Demme decided to win an Oscar and scare the pants off an entire generation with The Silence of the Lambs, he was an ’80s funnyman. And this is his best work. It’s the story of a mild-mannered exec (played by Jeff Daniels), whose sedentary life is turned upside down by the wildly adventurous, somewhat grifting Lulu (Melanie Griffith)—whose checkered past includes a roustabout, criminal ex-boyfriend played by Ray Liotta. The idea of a “crazy” girl coming in and turning a straight man’s existence topsy-turvy is repeated countless times in this genre, from Bringing Up Baby to The Girl Next Door. Demme’s alchemy here is to infuse the trope with unpredictability. The comedy keeps us on the edge of our seats by compounding the will-they-won’t-they question with sudden breaks into violence, threats, or chase. Rom-coms don’t get more exciting than this.

. . . to escape it all:

Midnight in Paris (2011)

Sony Pictures Classics/courtesy Everett Collection

The love story here is as much between writer-flaneur Gil Pender and Paris as it is between Gil and any of the women in this film. While visiting the French capital with his uptight fiancée, Inez (a sublime Rachel McAdams), and her parents, each night Gil goes walking and finds himself in the City of Light of the 1920s, complete with Hemingway, Gertrude Stein, the Fitzgeralds, Man Ray, Josephine Baker, Cole Porter . . . and a beautiful woman named Adriana (Marion Cotillard). It’s a writer’s fantasy made real (Stein volunteers to read his novel), but it’s also Woody Allen at his most effective: taking the vicissitudes of relationships and turning them into a mirthful, if neurotic, journey. This one just happens to also navigate through another time and place as well. And a beautiful one, at that. There’s a reason this is Allen’s highest-grossing film of all time.

. . . to escape the friend zone:

When Harry Met Sally. . . (1989)

©Columbia Pictures/Courtesy Everett Collection

If this list were a top 20 instead, this film would still be on it. Same with top 10—and five. It’s in the running for the best rom-com of all time because it is sassy, sultry, snappy, cinematic perfection, thanks to words from Nora Ephron and direction from Rob Reiner. It’s something of an epic of the genre, spanning over 10 years of the kind of friendship (between Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal’s characters) where no one can help but ask, “Why aren’t those two together?” Should friends ever sleep together? If they do, what happens next? This movie should be watched by every college student on the planet. Bonus: Watch this movie with a boyfriend, and pay attention to what happens to his face during Meg Ryan’s most famous scene, in which she illustrates just how easy it is for a woman to fake an orgasm.

. . . to unite with your crew:

Bridesmaids (2011)

©Universal/Courtesy Everett Collection

Who ever thought getting food poisoning in a wedding dress could be so funny? Bridesmaids is as much a buddy comedy (think Old School or Twins) as it is a rom-com, proving that female actors can be just as bawdy and into gross-out humor as their male counterparts in The Hangover. This is about the love between friends, yes, and the agony that comes with maturing at different paces, but what ultimately drives the film is the desire of Annie (Kristen Wiig, who also wrote the script, with Annie Mumolo) to catch up. This movie isn’t as much about what we have as about what we’re missing, and how a wedding can bring that to the fore. Along with nonstop laughs, we get a powerhouse performance from Wiig—even as Melissa McCarthy steals the show.

. . . to remind you that guys will try anything:

There’s Something About Mary (1998)

Before we had a president who bragged openly about grabbing women “by the pussy”, this is what qualified as a gross-out film. Amid scenes of semen being used as hair gel and testicles jammed in zippers, the Farrelly Brothers managed to concoct an amiable story about a nerdy Ted (Ben Stiller) hiring a private detective to find Mary (Cameron Diaz), the object of his unrequited love in high school. Despite the over-the-top locker-room gags, the movie has virtually no sex, and manages to emerge as hilarious, sweet, and satisfying.

. . . to make up your mind, dammit:

Manhattan (1979)

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Elephant in the room: Yes, this is Woody Allen pursuing a high school student (a luminous Mariel Hemingway). It was also made in 1979, and that didn’t carry quite the same connotations as it does now. The year is important, because as the film’s title suggests, this movie is as much about New York as it is about the lovers who collide inside of it (Allen’s character, Isaac, begins the film dating the high schooler, but leaves her for his friend’s mistress, played by Diane Keaton). In the mid-to-late 1970s, New York was a bit of a cesspool: Crime was out of control, repeated requests for federal aid were denied, and the city was on the edge of bankruptcy. It’s in the wake of this tumult that Allen pens his black-and-white love note to his fair city. The film opens with a montage of New York’s skyline and street scenes, revealed to “Rhapsody in Blue,” and Allen’s voice-over as Isaac, writing about his romantic love for the city. That’s where he gets us with this film; Allen crystalizes the outsize feelings that can swell with romance, despite any and all evidence that should temper them. It’s a movie about indecision, bad choices, and falling for the wrong people, but it celebrates the impetus for all of these. We love the things we shouldn’t. That’s life. That’s Manhattan.

. . . to know if he’s worth the trouble:

Say Anything. . . (1989)

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If for no other reason, you need to see this movie so you’ll understand what it means when someone holds a ghetto blaster over his head outside the window of the woman he loves. Like most of the teen romance flicks on this list, Say Anything. . . doesn’t end at the Big Dance. This movie, from director Cameron Crowe (and produced by James L. Brooks) is far too sophisticated for such a middling finale. It’s too busy diving into the angsty, all-consuming, awkward challenge that is young love, as embodied by consummate underdog Lloyd Dobler and his attempts to woo the beautiful valedictorian Diane Court.

. . . to get him back:

Crazy, Stupid, Love. (2011)

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If The 40-Year-Old Virgin was evidence that Steve Carell could be a romantic lead, this was the proof. Alongside Julianne Moore, as the cheating wife he wants to win back, and with Ryan Gosling, who plays his cad coach, as well with a terrific performance from a teenage son who loves his babysitter, who in turn loves his nice-guy dad, Carell is well matched. Throw in Kevin Bacon as a romantic rival and Emma Stone as a law student just out of Gosling’s reach, and we’re ready to go. It’s a comedy that’s as much about accepting the facts of life—be they middle age, the people we can’t have, or the people we don’t want others involved with—as much as it is about a pursuit, or any one relationship. It’s about how love really is, sometimes, which can be romantic in its own right.

. . . to fall in love with literature:

Shakespeare in Love (1998)

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People forget about the competition Shakespeare faced, and we don’t mean the other plays. In the late 1500s, one could go to the theater, or one could go watch some people be executed or a bear be torn apart by dogs. That’s how entertaining Shakespeare’s work had to be! In 1998, this film competed with Saving Private Ryan, Elizabeth, and Life Is Beautiful for Best Picture and managed to come out with the Oscar. What drew the academy to the fast-paced mash-up of Romeo and Juliet with a very loosely interpreted history of William Shakespeare’s life was the film’s ability to capture exactly what Shakespeare did back in his day: the urgency of love and the power of its expression—its ability to consume us and change lives.

. . . to tell your real friends from the sham ones:

Muriel’s Wedding (1994)

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Muriel (Toni Collette), a daydreamer and the target of the bitchy girls she considers her friends, wants nothing more than to get out of her small town and away from her awful father, move to Sydney, and get married. When she makes off with her parents’ savings, reunites with a fellow outcast from her town, and is offered the chance to marry a gorgeous South African swimmer who needs a visa, she can make her dreams come true. As much of a coming-of-age story as a rom-com (Muriel may be in her 20s, but she has much growing up to do), this film does a brilliant job of cutting the legs out from underneath our expectations by giving us exactly what we’ve always wanted, and tying us up in the strings attached.

. . . to relive high school (or what you wish high school was like):

To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before (2018)

Netflix’s most popular entry into the rom-com genre (based on the novel by Jenny Han) was for many an instant classic—not least for blessing the world with Peter Kavinsky (Noah Centineo), the Jake Ryan of the Internet era. Lana Condor stars as Lara Jean, a quiet high school kid who relieves her romantic pressures by writing never-to-be-mailed love letters to the objects of her affection—including her older sister’s ex-boyfriend. Until, of course, one night they get sent out. Hijinks—and a fake turned not-so-fake relationship—ensue.

. . . to remind you how much better it gets after high school:

American Pie (1999)

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A teen sex comedy with a heart of gold, this story of four high school friends determined to have sex before they graduate was the surprise hit of 1999. But underneath all the masturbating with pastry and accidentally ingested semen cocktails, there’s real sentiment to the adolescent boys trying to find their way with women, and vice versa. The reason we can safely call this a rom-com is that, while it doesn’t exactly pass the Bechdel test with flying colors, the objects of the guys’ affections are far from just objects. They have goals of their own we’re brought on board with. The girls aren’t just out for the boys, they’re out for themselves—as disappointingly rare in a rom-com as it is in a teen comedy, and the reason we love this one.

. . . to learn how far to take it:

Rushmore (1927)

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This is Wes Anderson’s most completely stylish movie, and perhaps his best, made before stylized fuckery got in the way of things like writing (like all his best work, this was cowritten with Owen Wilson). Max Fischer (Jason Schwartzman) is a scholarship student at a private school. His academics are dismal, but he’s game for any and all extracurriculars, especially the over-the-top plays he produces and directs. He gets into a contest for the affections of a widowed first grade teacher with local industrialist, and his newfound mentor, Herman Blume (Bill Murray). Several phenomenal executions come together in this film, including the ensemble cast, the just-on-this-side of believable production design, and an absolutely killer classic rock soundtrack. But what pushes it above the rest is the utter drive of both Max and Herman, as love and competition gains primacy over every aspect of their lives. They’re both willing to burn the village to save it, which is simultaneously hilarious to watch and cathartic to anyone who’s ever had a crush.

. . . to locate your other half:

Jerry Maguire (1996)

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Cameron Crowe has a couple of films on this list (Almost Famous was close, but ultimately more coming-of-age than comedy) with good reason: He understands people and how they tick. Despite its memorably demonstrative, over-the-top lines, like “You complete me,” and “Show me the money,” this is ultimately a movie about how people really fall in love. Sure, Renée Zellweger loves Tom Cruise from the beginning—it’s a movie after all, and he is Tom Cruise—but what Jerry Maguire gets to is what happens after that first kiss, after the honeymoon period, when we have to learn about the other person as a person, and not just see them and their adorable puppy (or in this case, an adorable son, played by Jonathan Lipnicki) as an escape or alternative from our own lives.

. . . for a dose of realism (and Paris!)

Two Days in Paris (2007)

For sheer hilarious, messy, complicated realism, Two Days in Paris takes the prize. The brilliant and surprising Julie Delpy writes, directs, and stars as Marion, a young Frenchwoman who has brought her American boyfriend Jack (Adam Goldberg) to her hometown en route from a trip to Venice. They struggle through misunderstandings, language barriers, cultural clashes, encounters with Marion’s many ex-boyfriends, and her unruly parents (played by Delpy’s real-life mother and father, actors Marie Pillet and Albert Delpy,) and barely come out the other side. The moral, as Marion paraphrases Jack: “It’s not easy being in a relationship, much less to truly know the other one and accept them as they are with all their flaws and baggage.” It may not be easy, but it’s highly entertaining to watch them try.

. . . to get you through the holidays:

Love Actually (2003)

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Is this? Not really. But that’s not why we go to the movies. Love Actually is, actually, a rather clichéd Christmas rom-com, but jeez, we love it anyway. How can we not, with this ensemble cast of British romance all-stars (Hugh Grant, Emma Thompson, Liam Neeson, Colin Firth, and Keira Knightley, among others)? The prime minister (Grant) falling for a junior staff member? A quiet suitor in love with the new bride (Knightley) of his best bud (Chiwetel Ejiofor), who is apparently one of three people of color in London? A cuckolded boyfriend (Firth) rebuilding his shattered life with the help of his shy housekeeper? Balderdash. All of it. But it’s irresistible. Come on, what are you, made of stone?

. . . to fall for his funny bone:

Top Five (2014)

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Think of it as Before Sunset meets Funny People, with New York taking the place of Paris. If that notion produces a little eye roll, get those peepers back down, and then on to the screen before you miss some laughs. Rosario Dawson plays a New York Times journalist tasked with interviewing a hugely famous comedian, played by Chris Rock, who is attempting to take his career in a new direction (courtesy of an ill-advised serious film about a Haitian revolutionary). Like Roman Holidaybefore it, this is a film rooted in our society’s placement of, and expectations for, certain figures (a celebrity and a princess, respectively). In both cases, the journalist finds the human being inside of their famous subject, falling for them while trying not to fall for their shtick, or what they represent. As the pair make their way through Manhattan—with visits from Jerry Seinfeld, radio hosts Opie and Anthony, Whoopi Goldberg, and a fantastic supporting job from the ageless Gabrielle Union, playing a reality TV starlet—we can’t help but get on board with their journey.

. . . to look past his neurotic, potentially mentally ill exterior:

As Good as It Gets (1997)

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There are few actors who can go toe-to-toe with Jack Nicholson. Director James L. Brooks found a suitable sparring partner with Shirley MacLaine in Terms of Endearment and struck gold again nearly 15 years later with Helen Hunt. Hunt plays a waitress with a sick child for whom Nicholson—a mean, racist, homophobic, obsessive-compulsive writer and her regular customer in the restaurant where she waits tables—has some affection. Bring in Nicholson’s neighbor, a gay artist (played by Greg Kinnear) who has to lean on the Nicholson’s character for help (beginning with care for his adorable dog), add a road trip, and you’ve got yourself one of the most delightful, well-thought-out comedies of the ’90s. The movie takes it time, but it’s to our benefit—Brooks allows us to get to know each of these people, and them each other, intimately, which means when the jokes, and the romance, land, they land hard, and then stay around. (Plus, who among us could resist Nicholson growling, “You make me wanna be a better man”?)

. . . to confirm that, yeah, he’s probably cheating:

Shampoo (1975)

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There’s a lot going on in Shampoo—the story of an L.A. hairdresser (Warren Beatty) who is sleeping with, well, everyone (including Julie Christie, who plays a prime target of his affections)—which, at first glance, could just be another ’70s sex comedy. Keep in mind, it’s directed by Hal Ashby, the king of thoughtful, offbeat romances, and was both written by and featured, Warren Beatty, a major voice of the Hollywood Left in the 1970s. The film, released a year after Nixon’s downfall, takes place during on the eve of Nixon’s election in 1968, so there’s a good deal of interplay between the politics and the sexual politics that were in the air as the counterculture died, the pill became mainstream, and the country saw itself in a whole new, darker light. That said, Beatty’s portrayal of the harried, discursive, libidinous George is irresistible even without context, as is the performance given by a young Goldie Hawn, who illuminates every frame—and perfectly counteracts Beatty—with blonde California light, and a heart-melting, downy innocence.

. . . to get you on board with AI:

WALL-E (2008)

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There are more epic Disney romances (one of them is on this list), but none more thoughtful. What we love about this futuristic tale of a little trash compactor, WALL-E, who falls in love with his technological better, EVE, is the considered environmental, anti-consumerist message that suffuses the dystopian love story. With barely a word, only whirrs, between them, EVE and WALL-E convincingly fall in love. His efforts to save her, once the megacorporation Buy-n-Large (their maker) comes for her, is as authentic as Hawkeye’s return for Cora, or Jack’s sacrifice for Rose. Forget Finding Nemo, this is writer-director Andrew Stanton’s Pixar masterpiece.

. . . to justify your May-December romance:

Harold and Maude (1971)

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There’s a question that lingers throughout most of Harold and Maude—the story of a death-obsessed young man (he enjoys driving a hearse, attending funerals, and faking his suicide) who falls for a much, much older woman—are these two going to get it on? It sounds sophomoric, but it’s actually essential. Harold and Maude are separated by approximately 60 years; for the movie to hit home, for us to believe that love is truly about what we share, not what we look like or other aesthetic values, we have to believe a genuine attraction has formed. No one prodded existentialism (especially in films deemed “romantic”) like director Hal Ashby, and Harold and Maude is no exception. The darkly funny tale will leave you questioning just what is important to you in your own conception of love—and, moreover, in your life.

. . . to give comic books their due:

Chasing Amy (1997)

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A comic book artist (Ben Affleck) with an inseparable best friend (Jason Lee) falls for a beautiful gay girl (Joey Lauren Adams)—who then falls for him—only to discover he can’t handle it. Comic books? Lesbian conversion? Best buds? Sounds like a romantic comedy made by men, for men. And it is! But Kevin Smith also managed a somewhat nuanced exploration of friendship and art, as well as of contemporary romantic standards in his rejiggering of the love triangle. Simultaneously, at a time when every other joke on Friends involved gay panic, he was portraying three-dimensional concepts of lesbian identity. What could be identified as a typical male-driven fantasy could also be seen as a ’90s Torrents of Spring.

. . . to make you fall in love with your friends:

Reality Bites (1994)

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In what was then a cult hit and is now a piece of ’90s nostalgia catnip, a post–Edward Scissorhands (and post–Johnny Depp) Winona Ryder plays Lelaina, an aspiring documentarian assisting an obnoxious TV host in Houston. She and grungy, Generation X friends—played by Steve Zahn, Janeane Garofolo, and a simmering Ethan Hawke (who may be more than just a friend)—are just trying to figure out who they are, and what they want in life. In Ben Stiller’s feature directorial debut, he also plays a TV executive whose budding romance with Lelaina and interest in her work brings the real world crashing into their postcollegiate hipster existence. Aside from a nonstop ’90s fashion buffet that is Winona’s wardrobe (mom jeans, crop tops, baby doll dresses, cardigans, men’s shirts, blazers), there’s also love and heartbreak, sex, betrayal, Lisa Loeb, Dickies, pizza, and lines like “He’s so cheesy, I can’t watch him without crackers.” What else do we want, really?

. . . to dance your troubles away:

Grease (1978)

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The ’50s nostalgia of the 1970s culminated with this unreal musical about the return to high school for summer lovers Danny Zuko (John Travolta) and Sandy Olsson (Olivia Newton-John). It’s hard for current viewers to understand just how big John Travolta was at the time; the year this film bowed, 1978, the two top-selling albums were the soundtracks to Saturday Night Fever (another Travolta film) and this one. And that was in a year when the Rolling Stones released Some Girls and Bruce Springsteen dropped Darkness on the Edge of Town. In this irresistibly playful film, Travolta embodies the bursting sexuality of the newly emerged teen culture, but at the same time, he’s a tampered-down throwback—we buy him drag racing cars and singing with his gang, the T-Birds, whose rivals are the Scorpions, and making clumsy moves at the drive-in. Similarly, the Pink Ladies, a popular clique headed by Rizzo (Stockard Channing), deliver their wiseacre lines with a fair dose of irony. These skirts know what’s up, and that’s what makes us interested, and invested, in their outcomes. We’re locked in from the first frame: There may be better musicals, but none more fun.

. . . to get you through wedding season:

Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994)

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For anyone who’s ever been encumbered by the beautiful, annoying, expensive ordeal that is a wedding, how can we not love a wedding movie whose first pages of dialogue are just the word Fuck? As much as we commiserate, this is ultimately Hugh Grant’s movie. And a little Andie MacDowell’s movie. But mostly Hugh Grant’s. It’s the film that introduced us to his stumbling, bumbling, yet confident Etonian charms and wit, which we’d witness again and again in Nine Months, Notting Hill, Music and Lyrics, About a Boy, and more). The story of Grant and his friends attending their friends’ weddings—and one funeral—perfectly captured the romance of nuptials as well as all the stress, commitment, and emotional . . . what do the British call it? . . . oh yes, bother that comes with that period in your life where your friends are tying the knot. The question this rom-com dares ask is this: In all this wedding madness, can you be the odd man out and still be happy?

. . . to find your prince:

Coming to America (1988)

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It’s unfair that Eddie Murphy only has one entry on this list. The guy ruled the ’80s and made some of the era’s great comedies—Trading Places, Beverly Hills Cop, 48 Hrs.—but this is really the only one where the romance narrative rules supreme. In short: Murphy plays the prince of a fictional African nation who is unsure about his arranged marriage, and so heads to what he suspects will be greener pastures in search of his queen. So where better to start that Queens, New York? Essentially slumming it with his best friend (a terrific Arsenio Hall), Murphy’s character finds work at a McDonald’s-type restaurant where he falls in love with the owner’s daughter, a woman who just might fit the bill. It’s a super simple story that elicits big laughs in every scene, but it’s also a clever send-up of class and race that simultaneously owns itself as perhaps the ultimate Reaganite comedy: If you are rich and follow your heart, you can be even richer!

…remind you that life doesn’t always go as planned, but sometimes that’s okay.

Juno (2007)

Life’s not perfect, but it can be most endearing— that’s the takeaway, anyway, from Jason Reitman’s nuanced teen comedy, Juno. Ellen Page gives her breakout performance as the titular pregnant-by-accident teen who soldiers on through high school while preparing to give her baby up for adoption to a painfully needy rich couple (or “baby-starved wingnuts,” as her father calls them.) Juno’s honesty and her backward love story with the adorably nerdy Paulie (Micheal Cera) reminds us of the true meaning of being cool, and that heartache can resolve itself into a tender, resilient future.

. . . to get your boss’s job:

Working Girl (1988)

First, consider the cast: Melanie Griffith, Harrison Ford—who owned the ’80s in Hollywood and made this his only rom-com—Sigourney Weaver, Joan Cusack, Oliver Platt, Alec Baldwin (at his douchiest), and Kevin Spacey. Next, look at the director: Mike Nichols—if there is a pantheon for romantic films, he probably has Zeus’s seat. Finally, the shoulder pads; my god, the shoulder pads. Were doorways made wider in the 1980s? Adventures in Babysitting aside, this movie is really as feminist as mainstream movies got in the ’80s. Melanie Griffith plays Tess McGill, a wily business school graduate working as a secretary at an investment bank with such memorable one-liners as “I have a head for business and a bod for sin.” When her boss (Weaver) steals her idea for a merger and then ends up out of commission (temporarily bedridden after a ski accident), Tess rises to the occasion: scheming with the support of her friends and maybe-lover (Ford), conniving, flirting, and using some good old-fashioned elbow grease to outwit her superiors, beat the boys, and claim the position she’s rightfully earned. Griffith is miraculous (one critic compared her to Marilyn Monroe; younger viewers might see a mold for Alicia Silverstone’s Cher), taking a role that could have just been “cute” and elevating it to nuanced and beguiling. That’s what this film is—so much so, we’ll forgive you if, after watching it, you suddenly have a soft spot for shoulder pads.

(C)

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jayofolympus · 6 years

Text

Hiraeth

In an old bookshop, beside an old university, in an old city, there stood two men. One of the men had hair as black as the void, and one had hair as white as snow, but both were very old too.

One day, late in 1967, the dark haired man sighed and closed the large tome he was paging through.

“I don’t know how much longer I can do this,” he said to his companion.

It was not the first time he had said those words over the long years, and the white haired man sometimes gave him different responses. Sometimes he would say nothing, and sometimes he would say “I know” or “I feel the same” or “it has been a long time”.

“We must have patience,” he said this time. It was, again, not the first time he had said such.

The dark haired man often had different reactions to these words, too. Outbursts of anger were most common, or derisive comments about having had patience for quite long enough.

This time he just sighed.

“I am tired, Merlin,” he said, shoulders slumped as his fingers traced over the faded cover of the book in front of him. “Tired and old, and I’ve lost them again.”

The white haired man – Merlin – nodded, understanding very well how his companion felt.

“Look on the bright side, Mordred,” he said with false cheer, searching the shelves for a particular book, “At least we haven’t seen your old friend in a good long while.”

“That doesn’t bring my brothers back, Merlin,” Mordred sighed. “This eternal cycle of finding them and losing them every few decades weighs heavily on me. I grieve them as strongly every time as I did when they each were first lost. I would have Lancelot tied to my side every day until the end of time if I could save myself the grief of watching everyone die and my heart tearing to pieces for the thousandth time.”

***

“Traitor! You dare betray your king?”

“He lies, Arthur; he wants only to sow discord in our ranks.”

***

“Gawain, my nephew, my closest friend, I ask your counsel. Your brother Mordred attacks his fellow knights and accuses them of treason without evidence. Some claim that he is the traitor, aiming to steal my throne.”

“Do not act rashly, Uncle; Mordred is my mother’s favourite, and she will not forgive you if you cause him harm. Nor will I.”

***

“You know the price of treason, Mordred, son of Lot and Morgause.”

“You would turn kinslayer, Brother? I’ll not allow you to favour some snake over my youngest son – my last gift from my dear husband – and I swear to you now that your three lives are bound forevermore; what ends my son will be the end of you and Lancelot also.”

***

They met Bedwyr first, as they often did. Being one of the oldest of them from the beginning – Merlin excepted – he was the first to find them nearly every time, whenever he was in the same country.

It was the late ‘80s, and he was a young professor this time, teaching ancient languages to students interested in Old Welsh and Gaelic.

One day, two weeks before he was due to teach his first class at the university, he strolled into their bookshop, squinting at a list of books scribbled onto a scrap of paper. As the door clicked shut behind him, he glanced up at the tiny, crowded shop, with its overfull bookshelves and piles of tomes that simply wouldn’t fit on the shelves.

He took in the entire room in the space of a heartbeat, and turned his large eyes on the two shopkeepers, blinking slowly.

“Oh, it’s you. That’s odd,” he said, without a hint of the usual panic that tended to accompany the sudden emergence of memories of a hundred lives.

Mordred had always admired Bedwyr’s calm, collected nature, and how it allowed him to accept new situations without fuss. Situations such as this were a perfect example of his tolerant, adaptable personality.

The trio spent nearly two hours talking about the past, and about how they would proceed from there. Bedwyr slotted easily into their daily routine from then on, visiting them with coffee whenever he had time between classes and marking.

The next member of their merry band to join them was Morgana, breezing through town during the early ‘90s in the careless way she always did. The last time they had seen her, back in the 70s, she had been searching endlessly for more information on where Morgause had disappeared to all those centuries ago. Mordred was sure that she had been searching, but she had clearly been sure to enjoy herself while she was at it.

She had a way of riling everyone up and then going on her merry way, leaving them all in the dust, reeling in her wake. This time, she helped organise a protest at the university, caused a minor scandal (and family drama) by sleeping with a professor and then his sister, and left Mordred and Merlin with a new book of spells each, giving them each a kiss on the cheek and a wink as she danced out of the shop one last time and disappeared again.

Bedwyr was the only person who seemed completely unruffled from the visit, as always. Merlin was sent into a flurry of studying due to the new spells that Morgana had gifted them with, hoping to find new information on their predicament from them.

Mordred, on the other hand, was left rather peeved by the whole thing. He was too used to Morgana to be truly infuriated, but beginning to get tired of her lack of helpfulness. She’d been doing the same thing since their curse began.

***

“I’m as immortal as Merlin and your mother,” she’d said when he’d been surprised to see her forty years after Camlann.

“I don’t know how to find your mother,” she’d said, when he’d begged her for help.

“I’ll look for ways to break the curse,” she’d said, and disappeared for nearly sixty years, reappearing with no leads and only a couple of spells that were of no help whatsoever.

***

It had taken them a long time, trying every spell and magic they knew of, to discover that there was no way to break or lift the curse without Morgause, and nobody had seen or heard anything of her since Camlann.

After Morgana came Cai, which Mordred had not anticipated. Normally, Bedwyr would be followed by Bors or Pellinor, given that the three were of a similar age. Though it had happened before that one of the younger members of their group would arrive before some of the older members. On this occasion, Cai had been born nearly a decade earlier than he normally would be, and so found himself closer in age to Bedwyr than to Mordred’s brothers, who had not yet appeared.

Cai came to them already knowing who he was, having had a chance encounter with Nimue, the Lady of the Lake, as a child that had left the adults around him confused and unsettled by his changed demeanour. As soon as he had turned eighteen, he had begun to travel the length and breadth of Britain in hopes of finding the others, having had no real way to do so before then, and brought news with him when he arrived in their little bookshop one rainy day. “Bors is quite happy down in the south of England,” he told them, poking at the massive tomes full of poetry that were displayed closest to the door. A copy of the complete works of Shakespeare seemed to have caught his attention. “He said that he might visit at times, but he’s settled and comfortable, and the memory of so many lifetimes weighs heavily on him, though he wouldn’t admit it.”

If there was one quality that Mordred admired in Cai, it was his perceptiveness. The man was often brash and hot-headed, but he was intelligent, and gave good counsel when his temper had not been tried. He had been a loyal friend and advisor to Arthur, all those long lifetimes ago, when none of them would ever have thought that any of this would come to pass.

“Pellinor is not yet ready to remember us, though I suspect he’ll find us before long, and I believe that most of the others are still too young.”

Cai was more obtrusive in their routine than Bedwyr had been, insisting that they spent more time out of the bookshop and constantly dragging them to the pub he had bought near the university. He even managed to convince Merlin – without consulting Mordred – to hire a student to work in the shop part time to give the two owners more time away from their precious books. Merlin mostly used the extra free time to return to the meticulous notes he had taken over the course of the centuries on everything to do with the curse and their lives after it. He had taken note of any and all patterns that could be found in births, deaths, and everything in between. Mordred hated the notes; they were nothing but a reminder of their cruel fate.

He found that Cai’s pub was as good a place as any to avoid Merlin’s notes, and indeed he didn’t mind the company too much either.

Pellinor arrived less than a year after Cai, staying only for a short period to reminisce over past lives. His active, curious mind had him always in motion, travelling the globe in search of knowledge. Mordred didn’t begrudge him his travels, knowing that they kept Pellinor from growing too close to any of them, and saving him the pain of losing them all.

Guinevere did not stay long either, when they met her in the later end of the ‘90s. She came only to satisfy her curiosity, otherwise keeping to herself on campus, where she studied international law. She refused to answer to anything other than Jennifer on the few occasions they spoke, and after completing her degree she asked that they not contact her unless she first contacted them. After that, she went abroad to work with refugees and displaced families, though she sent short letters every half a year or so. There wasn’t enough regularity to them for Mordred to think she was doing it on purpose, and he was inclined to think that she only remembered to think of them that often. She was doing important work though, as she often did.

Others drifted in and out of town over the years, wanting to stay in contact, but happy to live their own lives, away from the oppressive weight of the past. Caradoc and Tristan both visited frequently, but did not wish to become permanent fixtures in their little band. Culhwch and Olwen lived happily in town, and could often be found on the outskirts of the group, but were too wrapped up in their own happiness to truly join the core of it. Two of the Elaines found themselves in a similar arrangement, sharing a flat near the university.

They met Gawain in 2006 as a young student in his first year, nervously asking if they would display a flyer in their window for a society event. He fidgeted and mumbled his way through an explanation of the ceilidh being hosted by the LGBT society. Mordred had grinned and immediately set about finding tape to stick the flyer in the window. His brother had spent many lifetimes hiding the fact that he was attracted to more than just women, and Mordred was keen to foster a sense of pride in him this time.

His brother took a very long time to remember the truth of his existence. For ten years he was a friend to them, visiting the bookshop regularly and meeting them for drinks in Cai’s pub. He blossomed from a nervous eighteen year old, reluctant to confess to being bisexual, to a bold, confident man of twenty eight, unapologetically queer, and proud of his identity. He wore makeup often, and invited his friends to watch him perform in drag without showing any hint of the young man who had stumbled and stuttered over saying “LGBT” out loud.

Mordred was immensely proud of him, but still often found himself laughing at the predicaments that Gawain found himself in.

“They’re both so hot, and I’m so screwed,” Gawain whined, head down on the table.

Cai laughed loudly, patting his friend on the back, perhaps a little too hard, if Gawain’s wince was anything to go by.

“They’re your bosses,” Cai reminded him.

“And married. To each other,” Gawain added miserably.

“Exactly. So pull yourself together and get over it,” Cai said, still chuckling. Had Gawain’s pathetic pining not been the subject of discussion at least once a week. Cai’s advice may have seemed callous, but they had heard endless complaints from their friend about how terribly cursed he was to have two people who were, in his own words “unfairly attractive” around him for several hours a day, five days a week.

“They were definitely flirting with you though,” Mordred said, taking a swig of his drink to cover the sly smile that was threatening to emerge. “You should talk to them about it, even if it’s just to ask them to stop because they’re giving you the wrong idea.”

He was endlessly amused by his brother’s plight, and having met Bertilak de Hautdesert, it was even more amusing knowing that the cause of Gawain’s distress was none other than the Green Knight and his charming wife.

Two days later, at around ten in the morning, Gawain stumbled into the bookshop, looking as though he’d had an interesting night. He was wearing his tightest pair of jeans, and still had glitter smudged under his eyes from the night before, but the soft, expensive looking green jumper he wore was clearly not his own, and was at least a size too big for him. He looked as though he had barely slept.

“You utter bastard!” Gawain snapped as soon as he set eyes on Mordred. “You knew all along that they were as interested in me as I was in them! You’re the worst brother ever.”

Mordred simply gawked at him, unsure of how to respond.

“I... I remembered everything,” Gawain added, blushing now. “I don’t know why I didn’t remember before. Surely you should have been the one to make me remember?”

Mordred nodded slowly, taking this in. He had been distressed too, when Gawain had taken so long to remember.

“Merlin theorised that perhaps because the magic that caused this, and the magic that I use, is in your blood, you are somewhat resistant to its effects,” he said. “All the same, I am relieved that you know the truth now. Tell me more about how you learned that the Hautdeserts were interested.”

The two spent the rest of the day discussing their pasts, and Mordred cried that night in relief at finally having his oldest brother back.

Agravain, Gaheris, and Gareth had all arrived in the ten years after Gawain had. Gaheris had come first, and had spent more than a year with them before he remembered, though his memory came back to him slowly, first in dreams, and then in waking recollections. Agravain, however, had rather dramatically passed out in Cai’s pub, and was out of sorts for days afterward, trying to sort through hundreds of years worth of memories.

Gareth had arrived last of Mordred’s brothers, which was not surprising at all, given that he had only been a handful of years older than Mordred, and therefore among the youngest of their little group. What had surprised Mordred was that he brought Galahad with him.

Gareth’s memories returned just as abruptly as Agravain’s, though slightly less dramatically, given that he simply sank into his seat with wide eyes, breathing heavily and fighting back tears, whispering his brothers’ names to himself as if seeing them returned to him from the grave. Mordred supposed that it must have seemed that way to him, given that he himself was the only one of them who had not died.

Galahad took a little longer to remember than Gareth did, though the two remained remarkably close. There was a certain tension between them caused by Gareth keeping the memories from Galahad, and he often looked wistful when he spoke to Mordred of Galahad’s lack of memory of their past lives, but even still the two were inseparable. Mordred was somewhat surprised by that too, given that he had never thought of the two as being particularly close friends; at least, no closer than any two people who shared in deadly adventures together usually were. Given that the two had also shared such adventures with the rest of them, it was rather confusing. It was clear that there was no romantic connection between the two, though Gareth remained much closer with Galahad than with any romantic partners he did have. One girlfriend even left him because of it, but Gareth had simply shrugged it off, saying that she wasn’t worth the effort if she refused to accept his friendship with Galahad.

It all began to make a little more sense the day Galahad burst into Cai’s pub, face flushed and wearing a bright grin.

“There’s a word for it!” he crowed, grabbing Gawain by the shoulders to shake him.

Gawain, still half-asleep from having been out all night for a performance, had blinked at the nineteen year old, confused and alarmed by the sudden display of excitement.

“A word for what?” Merlin asked politely, likely just trying to move Galahad along to an explanation so that he would quieten down.

“All of it,” Galahad said breathlessly; almost reverently, in fact. “I finally have a word for how I’ve felt for...”

All of the colour drained suddenly from his face, and he looked as though he might throw up. Mordred knew in an instant that his memories had returned, and Gawain seemed to have worked it out too, if the concerned tone he spoke with was anything to go by.

“You were saying that you’ve found a word for how you’ve felt?” he coaxed gently, guiding Galahad to a chair.

Galahad nodded absently, though he didn’t look any less ill.

“A word for how I’ve felt for centuries,” he said. “I’ve lived countless lives; had so many varied experiences, and yet I’ve only just discovered a word to describe one of the few constants in all of those lives.”

Gawain nodded sympathetically.

“I understand what you’re feeling,” he said, placing a hand on Galahad’s shoulder. “The first time I had a word for any of what I feel, for my bisexuality, and for my gender nonconformity, it was overwhelming, and frustrating, because it feels as though you have been barred for so long from an essential part of yourself. Finally having the words to describe yourself is freeing, but it comes with the cost of discovering that you were caged in the first place.”

“What word did you discover?” Mordred asked, voice soft. He didn’t want to interrupt the moment, but he knew Galahad well enough to know that once he spoke the words out loud, he would feel a great weight lift from his shoulders.

“Where is Gareth?” Galahad asked, looking around for his friend. “I asked him to meet me here; I want him to hear this too.”

Within a moment of having said those words, Gareth emerged from the bathroom, looking around the group in confusion.

“What did I miss?” he asked, moving immediately to Galahad’s side to check that he was alright.

Galahad took a deep breath and stood again, giving Gareth a shaky smile as he did so.

“I am asexual,” he announced, keeping direct eye contact with his friend. “And I am also aromantic. I do not feel sexual or romantic attraction toward anyone. However, you and I have the sort of bond that goes beyond either of those, even though it is platonic, and I want you to know that I love you.”

Gareth nodded slowly, a grin spreading across his face.

“I love you too, dude,” he said, pulling Galahad in for a crushing hug. “So does this mean we’re, like, platonic partners or something?”

Galahad blushed, having clearly not thought that far ahead.

“If that’s something you want,” he said, shrugging nonchalantly.

“Cool, we’re partners,” Gareth said, still grinning as he pulled Galahad in for another hug.

Such declarations were obviously cause for drinks, which Cai happily supplied, and soon the entire group had taken up half the pub, congratulating the partners and using the excuse to get drunk.

Mordred settled into his seat and watched the festivities with a warmth in his chest that he didn’t often feel. It was good to see everyone in the same place again, and it felt almost like home. If he closed his eyes, he could imagine that they were back in Arthur’s hall in Camelot, celebrating someone’s victorious homecoming. Arthur would have been the first to give congratulations, and he would have had the poets sing something cheerful.

Opening his eyes again, Mordred looked around the group. His brothers all stood around Galahad, Agravain and Gaheris thumping him and Gareth on the back as they said something that set everyone around them laughing.

Bedwyr, Bors, and Pellinor had all claimed a quieter corner to speak, likely of academic things, and Mordred could see Merlin making his way toward them.

Cai held court at the bar, giving a dramatic telling of one of his and Arthur’s earliest adventures to Tristan, Elaine, and Percival, while Caradoc gave advice to Culhwch and Olwen at a table nearby.

It was so close to perfect that Mordred could almost cry. It was the missing faces which did cause tears to slip free though. His uncle, and Guinevere were the most obviously missing. The scene felt almost empty without them, since he knew just how thrilled they would have been at seeing their friends and family so happy. He felt keenly, though, the absences of others; Ector, and Vivienne, Erec and Enide, Hector, Lanval, and Lyonesse, and Mabon, Morien, and Palamedes. So many were not there to see their happiness, and it was all Mordred could do not to weep at the knowledge that a day would come soon when he would lose all of those around him again, except one white haired old wizard who frequently became so absorbed in his books that he could go weeks without speaking to anyone.

A hand on his shoulder startled him out of his sad thoughts, and he glanced up to see Gawain smiling sadly at him.

“I know you, Brother, and I know how you must be feeling,” Gawain said. “Just enjoy the happy moments while they last, fleeting as they might be, and then look forward to when more happy moment will come.”

“Always so wise, Sir Gawain,” Mordred teased, shaking off his sombre mood.

“You’re always so serious, Mordred,” Gawain said, laughing. “Come join the party.”

Mordred spent the rest of the night taking his brother’s advice to heart, enjoying the moment while he had it. It wouldn’t last, be he intended to make the most of it.

The peace was shattered, however, no more than two months later, when Mordred was tidying the bookshop one Thursday evening, preparing to close up, and a bedraggled man stumbled in, looking lost.

Mordred turned, ready to greet a customer, and froze when he saw the man.

“It... it has been a long time,” Lancelot said, hands stuffed into his jacket pockets.

Mordred eyed him warily, vividly remembering their last encounter. It had been June of 1919, and Mordred had been roused from his reading by a pounding at the door, opening it to find himself face to face with the man who had been the cause of their curse. Lancelot had carried a French officer’s pistol, which told Mordred what his enemy had been doing during the War while Mordred himself had been in the trenches with scared young soldiers, and there was a wild look in his eye.

Mordred had wanted to laugh then, in his too-small flat in Glasgow, knowing that Lancelot had come to try again. Since Camlann, Lancelot had made countless attempts to kill him, though none had worked, and he surely had learned quickly that it was a hopeless effort. That day had been no different than the others, to begin with, and the tiny flat had been all but destroyed in the ensuing fight, but Lancelot had begun to sob in the aftermath, sitting in the midst of broken things, that Mordred had fled, unsure of what to do.

“I am not here to fight,” Lancelot said, hunching in on himself as he seemed to notice Mordred’s tension. “I know that I cannot make amends for any of what I have done,” he said, clearly steeling himself, “But I cannot carry on the conflict between us for any longer. I... I am tired Mordred, and I have been for so long that I cannot remember what life felt like before.”

Mordred nodded solemnly. He was intimately aware of how the centuries could take their toll on the spirit.

“Let me make you a cup of tea,” he offered, beckoning Lancelot through to the back of the shop, where the stairs to the flat he and Merlin shared were hidden away.

A wisp of magic locked the shop door behind them as they ascended, and Lancelot flinched as it swept past him. It seemed that he had not forgotten the kind of power held by those with Morgause’s blood.

“It was the War that broke me, I think,” Lancelot said over a half-finished cup of tea, refusing to meet Mordred’s eyes. “So much senseless killing, and so many young lives lost, that I refused to believe that it was not the prophesied hour of Arthur’s return. I had been alive so long that I didn’t care about power or thrones or crowns anymore; I didn’t care about Arthur himself at all anymore. When I found you in Glasgow, I thought it must have been a sign that things had finally come to an end; I hadn’t been looking for you there, just wandering through trying to find some semblance of purpose in the aftermath of such a tragedy.”

Mordred nodded, having felt much the same when the War ended. He had been sure that his uncle would return, and had been sickened by the things he saw on the front lines during his time there.

“I thought that I could finally rest,” Lancelot whispered, tears flowing freely. “If Arthur had returned, and put an end to the war, then I could finally pass from this world and be free. So when I saw you, I thought I had my chance.”

“It never occurred to you that worse things could happen to our island,” Mordred said, not unkindly. He understood. After all, he had not thought such a thing possible either.

They sat in silence for a moment, Mordred refilling their cups with his magic while they both pondered over the conversation.

“Where have you been since then?” Mordred asked, curious. “It has been nearly a century since we last met, and I have heard nothing of your whereabouts since then.”

The two spent hours discussing what had passed since their last meeting, and then hours more on what they each had missed before then. It wasn’t perfect, nor even particularly comfortable, but Mordred had lived long enough now to know when to leave the past well enough alone. Lancelot’s past crimes were not forgiven, but Mordred alone could not absolve him when so many others had been hurt.

Lancelot would join them, slowly, but none would forget that he was the reason for the missing faces at their table when they drank together, and Mordred would not forget that it was Lancelot’s plotting that had caused them to be cursed in the first place.

#my writing #arthurian mythology #mordred #merlin #morgana #morgause #gawain #agravaine #gaheris #gareth #galahad #lancelot #cai #reincarnation #curses #gnc #asexuality #bisexuality #qpp

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tempocannon · 8 years

Text

The Underdogs: St. Louis’s Record Labels

[A feature I wrote in spring 2014 about St. Louis record labels. Amazingly dated already, but such is the lot of articles about DIY scenes.]

[Eads bridge, STL.]

So, here’s the situation: in the last 20 years, digital production and the Internet have demolished the traditional record industry. There are all kinds of statistics to show the dire state of the giant record companies of old, but the fundamental fact is that record sales go down every year. According to a January 8th Rolling Stone recap of the music industry’s performance, even digital downloads sank 6% from 2012 to 2013. Major labels are mummies, the big indie labels—Merge, Drag City, Jagjaguwar, and all the others—have staked out some space on a sinking ship, and Record Store Day itself is a tourniquet, an annual reminder that physical products are alright. Of course, all that is totally fine, because musicians are still out there making music. The same technologies that annihilated the record industry blew open the doors of music production, so now you can now record, distribute, and promote music for a fraction the former price. In the age of Bandcamp, it’s totally feasible musicians to do it all.

Who, then, are the intrepid souls who start small labels, who throw their time and money down what Robert Severson, Pancake Master of Pancake Productions, calls “one big money pit?” Why do they stick out their necks for the creative projects of others?

We asked the daredevils who run St. Louis’ labels, and they say a top reason is the joy inherent in working hard on something good. Running a record label is an artistic process of its own, with all the highs and low that come with the territory. For Joe Schwab of Euclid Records, it’s about the work itself. As he puts it, “my favorite thing about doing a label is simple: dealing with creative people. Not just the musicians, but the cover artists and graphic designers as well.” Pat Grosch of Mounds Music echoes the sentiment. He got into the game because being “around extremely creative individuals as they let you into their projects, and thus their hearts, is reward enough.”

People start running labels for pragmatic reasons, too. Local scenes are generally composed of loosely organized groups of friends with various degrees of interest in promoting themselves. Forming a label can coordinate the knowledge and energy of young and veteran members of a city’s scene, as well as provide an infrastructure for artistic cross-pollination. Damon Davis of the FarFetched Collective sees his label as an artists’ union. He started the organization, he says, to interact “with artists and [foster] connections between us in the music community.” Robert Severson of Pancake Productions was frustrated with the here-today-gone-tomorrow nature of a lot of St. Louis music, so he started his label, Pancake Productions, partly just “to be an entity that never died.” And a coordinated scene is easier to explain to outsiders, so a label can be a doorway to out-of-state promotion. As Extension Chord’s Tim Rakel puts it, “an umbrella label seemed a good strategy for promoting music from Saint Louis.”

And then there’s the most fundamental concern of all: getting the music out! Major labels and even the big independent labels have simply never had an interest in putting out a lot of adventurous and underground music. Gabe Karabell of Don’t Touch My Records says it best: “Small labels have been killing it since the '50s and '60s, so I'm not surprised that the real jams remain underground to this day.”

Small labels work hard for the bands on the ground, and we owe so much excellent music to lonely owners. To get a sense of what’s really going on in the vinyl mines, we conducted a census of a dozen local labels in honor of this year’s Record Store Day. See a label you’re interested in? Check it out! Don’t think any of these labels look cool? Go forth! Start your own!

Twelve Saint Louis Labels

Big Muddy Records

In a business where many labels close up shop soon after they open, Big Muddy Records is a crusty old uncle on the scene. Chris Baricevic lost a bet and started up the operation in 2005 with the self-titled Vultures EP, and gradually began putting out records by some of the city’s best-known Americana acts, including Bob Reuter’s Alley Ghost, The Hooten Hallers, Rum Drum Ramblers, and Pokey LaFarge. According to Baricevic, big things are in the works for Big Muddy: “a constant cycle of life and death, ulcers and dishwashing jobs, and we might have a hot dog party for our brother Brice.” He’d also like to say that Record Store Day should be about giving record store employees gifts.

Extension Chord Records

Tim Rakel and Melinda Cooper of The Union Electric started Extension Chord Records last year as a way of releasing work by their side projects Town Cars and The Chainsaw Gentlemen. The label racked up five releases in its first year, and it’s moving fast: Town Cars’ debut CD is coming out this year, and the honchos are considering expanding the label’s roster. According to Rakel, the organizational headaches and sometimes glacial movement of the production process can be demoralizing, but ultimately, “it makes most sense to go ahead and do everything on your our terms.’”

Euclid Records

Euclid Records (the store) has been around for thirty years, but the label has only been putting music out since 2009. The label got started pressing in-store sessions onto vinyl singles and selling them for the benefit of The New Orleans Musicians’ Relief Fund, but Euclid has quickly expanded the roster, issuing full-lengths by Troubadour Dali and Sleepy Kitty. Joe Schwab, the owner of both the label and the shop, sees underground labels and independent stores as closely entwined. “The only game in town these days are independent record stores,” he said, “and we're the ones that have been pushing indie bands and indie labels.”

Tower Groove Records

Tower Groove Records is less a label than a loose collective of South City bands. Tower Groove’s been silent for a few months, but in the last several years Adam Hesed, Jason Hutto, and the rest of the collective have made some very unique releases happen. They got things rolling with a double LP compilation of 22 bands, and last year Tower Groove released a mail-order singles series. Each month of 2013, subscribers received a brand-new single that paired two local bands.

Mounds Music

Mounds Music is the brand-new project of a few of the Bug Chaser dudes, an effort to put high-quality analog recording into the hands of local acts. Pat, Jake, and Zeng secured a start-up grant from the Regional Arts Commission, and they’ll be producing between 6 and 10 cassette releases in the next year. According to Pat Grosch, Mounds will be a creative platform, “an attempt to provide some new opportunities to musicians, and help let them focus on their craft—music—as we manage the production side.” The list of future collaborators is long, but Mounds is currently cooking up cassettes by Maximum Effort, The Bad Dates, Kisser, and Zak M. Details will be revealed soon.

Eat Tapes

Eat Tapes is Matt Stuttler’s cottage industry, an all-cassette label that started when Stuttler moved from putting out tapes for his own projects to putting out tapes for his friends’ projects. The label has released material for Burrowss, Bruiser Queen, and others, but Stuttler has made a specialty out of sticking two bands together on one split tape. Split tapes are definitely in line with the label’s mission. As he puts it, “labels like Eat Tapes operate on a local/regional level that concentrates on supporting bands/artists that aren't going to necessarily have mass appeal. But who cares about that?”

Don’t Touch My Records

The mission of D.T.M.R. is simple. Gabe Karabell, founder and tapemaker, says, “I just want to document some of the bands that I like before they break up.” Karabell is casual about the whole thing, but since 2012, the label has been in the right place at the right time to release music by The Brainstems, Rat Heart, Wild Hex, and Shaved Women. The only downside, Karabell says, is waiting in line at the Post Office to mail tapes when I'm late for work.” What’s up next? The debut of Self Help, “a new band with folks from Doom Town, Los Contras, The Vultures, Jack Grelle's band and the Bill McClellan Motherfuckers.”

Spotted Race

For the last year and a half, Spotted Race has been churning out tapes from the city’s punk and hardcore underbelly. As operator Martin Meyer puts it, Spotted Race exists to release “bands that deserve to be put out but probably wouldn't be otherwise.” Meyer has assembled around 25 releases, by hand, for free, all to get the word out about bands that would normally never be heard outside the city. His work is paying off, though: Spotted Race has sold enough tapes, at home and around the world, to afford to release a Ruz flexi disc, a Black Panties flexi, a Trauma Harness LP, a Nos Bos flexi, a Dem Scientist 7-inch, and a Lumpy and the Dumpers 7-inch.

FarFetched Collective

The goals of FarFetched go beyond simply distributing music. According to founder Damon Davis (LooseScrewz), the hip-hop centered collective aims to “create and nurture all forms of progressive music everywhere,” and even more fundamentally, to “create art that is genuine and thoughtful and make a living from that for my artists and myself.” FarFetched is home to artists including Scripts ‘n Screwz, 18andCounting, CaveofswordS, and Black James. Davis calls the label fundamentally focused on community and collaboration, an “artists’ union” rather than a hierarchical business. Look out for releases this summer, including a vinyl release of label comp Prologue III.

BDR/Rerun Records

The BDR/Rerun collaboration is all about issuing lost gems of the ‘70s and ‘80s. Jason Ross, of Rerun, and Matt Harnish, of BDR, have done much to dig up, dust off, and reissue St. Louis punk, post-punk, and rock ‘n’ roll gems from The Welders, Max Load, and The Retros. After a period of silence, the label is returning April 1st with a bunch of releases from vintage Milwaukee bands.

Encapsulated Records

Encapsulated is the new, improved incarnation of I Hate Punk Rock Records. In 2012, owner Mike Jones opened Encapsulated Studios, a punk rock fortress in Maplewood where bands can practice and record, and where the operations of the label are centered. The label is still home to punk and hardcore acts from St. Louis and around the country, including Bent Left, Black for a Second, Fister, The Haddonfields, and Jetty Boys.

Pancake Productions

Robert Severson, Pancake Master, created Pancake Productions as a production company for his student films. Sometime in the early 2000s, though, he started a one-man band, Googolplexia, and got caught up in music as well. Severson began by issuing albums by broken-up bands, a move that was not financially lucrative but certainly reflects the label’s ethos. Severson says, “Pancake Productions has never been about turning a profit. In some ways it's not even about breaking even. Really it's just about using every last dime (of both real money and credit extended to me) that I have to get good music out and available.” There’s a lot ahead for Pancake Productions, including a Vanilla Beans EP, a potential Stonechat CD, and “some top-secret things in the works for summertime.”

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piracytheorist · 8 years

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Yet another meme. I crossed some I didn’t like.

1) Put your iTunes on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up.

Thetawaves - System of a Down The Sacrifice - Michael Nyman Donde Estas, Yolanda? - Pink Martini First Aid Kit - Wolf Sarabande from J.S. Bach’s Cello Suite No. 1 Russian Dance - Trepak, from Tchaikovsky’s Nutcracker Suite.

2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

Colin O’Donoghue.

3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

From Kevin Brooks’ YA novel “Being”

Damn it, page 23 has only 9 lines. From page 24 then,

“I jabbed the gun against Ryan’s head.”

4) What do you think about most?

Exactly what my blog is about.

5) What does your latest text message from someone else say?

The payment code I sent to my roomate so that she could pay the electricity bill.

6) Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

Clothes on.

7) What's your strangest talent?

I don’t think I have talents... just some practiced skills.

8) 9) Ever had a poem or song written about you?

Not about me, but once I gave my late uncle’s lyrics (that he had asked me to put into music or have someone do it) to a composer friend to write a piece on it.

10) When is the last time you played the air guitar?

Yesterday, I think, in the tune of Sweet Child o’ Mine.

11) Do you have any strange phobias?

That electricity may strike me if I wash the dishes while the boiler is on.

12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

None that I can recall.

13) What's your religion?

Agnostic.

14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

Walking towards somewhere, listening to music.

15) Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

Both.

16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

It is complex indeed. If I had to choose one I’d go with Blackmore’s Night.

17) What was the last lie you told?

I can’t recall. I don’t lie easily, or convincingly.

18) Do you believe in karma?

Maybe?

19) What does your URL mean?

It’s a combination of the words lilly (incorrect, I know, but I didn’t back then when I chose that url) and pond.

20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

Lack of self-confidence/I actually think I’ve got a lot of stuff figured out in comparison to other people of my age.

21) Who is your celebrity crush?

Colin O’Donoghue, some three years now.

22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

No, but I would be sort of interested to. I never felt comfortable in a bikini.

23) How do you vent your anger?

Lol. I don’t, I guess. It just pents up.

24) Do you have a collection of anything?

When I travel, I like to keep all the booklets, the tickets, the receipts from things I bought, some coins...

25) Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

Video chatting, if it’s possible.

26) Are you happy with the person you've become?

I’m yet to evolve and I hope I can get better at some parts.

27) What's a sound you hate; sound you love?

Drilling machines/ My cat’s purr.

28) What's your biggest "what if"?

What if I was born a man? Seriously. I don’t think I’m gender--fluid, but I’ve thought many times how different I might have been if I were a guy.

29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

Ghosts, no. Aliens, sure, it’s just that we can’t sense or see them.

30) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

Right arm, a Nutella jar. Left arm, a tea light candle.

31) Smell the air. What do you smell?

Nothing. There’s a small sense of my cat’s scent around.

32) What's the worst place you have ever been to?

Public restrooms at the Greek borders to FYROM. I hadn’t peed in hours (we were having a road trip) but I kept it in for a few more because oh. my. God.

33) Choose East Coast or West Coast?

Don’t know the difference.

34) Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

Colin O’Donoghue.

35) To you, what is the meaning of life?

Do things and leave them better than you found them.

36) Define Art.

Creation, messages, beauty either in the inside or the outside.

37) Do you believe in luck?

Yep, and I actually think I’ve got lots.

38) What's the weather like right now?

Slightly raining.

39) What time is it?

12:20 am

40) 41) What was the last book you read?

I haven’t actually read a book in years. Headhunters by Jo Nesbo was the last one.

42) Do you like the smell of gasoline?

Nope.

43) Do you have any nicknames?

Duni or Duduna, for the way I used to mispronounce my name when I was very little.

44) What was the last movie you saw?

Moana.

45) What's the worst injury you've ever had?

I split my forehead open while playing in kindergarten and had a few stitches. I still have the scar.

46) Have you ever caught a butterfly?

No. But I have touched one’s wings once. I think I must have killed it back then.

47) Do you have any obsessions right now?

OUAT. With the way I’m all about it, it is an obsession.

48) What's your sexual orientation?

Mostly grey asexual.

49) Ever had a rumor spread about you?

About me specifically, none that I can recall.

50) Do you believe in magic?

I used to.

51) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

Oh boy, that is ALL me. It’s one of the reasons I sympathized with Hook.

52) What is your astrological sign?

Cancer.

53) Do you save money or spend it?

I try to save it. I don’t spend that much besides basic needs (and chocolate).

54) What's the last thing you purchased?

That Nutella jar I mentioned above.

55) Love or lust?

Why not both.

56) In a relationship?

Nope.

57) How many relationships have you had?

None.

58) Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

Nope.

59) Where were you yesterday?

Home, visited the beach, attended a mini concert of a fellow student, back home.

60) Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

My eye pencil sharpener, a water bottle cap, the toes of my socks (those are light pink).

61) Are you wearing socks right now?

Lol I didn’t even read that question before answering the above! Yes, apparently.

62) What's your favorite animal?

CATS ^.^

63) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

Lol. Honesty?

64) Where is your best friend?

Outside with another friend. I didn’t have the mood to join.

65) -- I don’t know why that one is missing. 66) What is your heritage?

What is that supposed to mean? I think I’m too young to have one yet.

67) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

I’m not sure but I probably was here again.

68) What do you think is Satan's last name?

He doesn’t have one.

70) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

At the moment, probably yes because we would give each other a lot of time to spend alone.

71) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

Get wet and then fired. But I would have tried to make the circumstances so that I wouldn’t have been late before that.

72) 73) You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

Trust. Without trust, there is no love.

74) What's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

Dernière Danse by Indila.

75) What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

6234.

76) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

Trust, building each other up, humor, lots.

77) How can I win your heart?

By having the above traits.

78) Can insanity bring on more creativity?

Of course.

79) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

Probably come here to study music.

80) What size shoes do you wear?

I say 39. In UK that’s 6, in the US it’s 8.5, in Japan it’s 25.

81) 82) What is your favorite word?

I don’t think I can choose one, but I like ones that have lots of L’s in them.

83) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

Red.

84) What is a saying you say a lot?

The one I’m looking for is, apparently, Haste makes waste in English. Though the literal translation from Greek is Whoever hurries, stumbles. So it’s more like someone telling the one who hurried “You had it coming”

85) What's the last song you listened to?

Listening right now: District 12 Ruins by James Newton Howard from the soundtrack of Mockingjay: Part 1.

86) 87) What is your current desktop picture?

This picture.

88) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

Drumpf.

89) What would be a question you'd be afraid to tell the truth on?

Offline, how much time I’ve spent analyzing and fangirling over Captain Swan.

90) 91) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

Healing.

92) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

If I could relive moments from my infanthood, I would go back and see my grandmother who died when I was 1. If not, that time that I saw Circle of Life performed live.

93) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

Erase the memory or erase the thing happening? If it’s the latter, I’ve got some things, but for the former, erase a really nasty arguing I had with my mother once.

94) 95) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

Rovaniemi, Finland.

96) Do you have any relatives in jail?

None that I know of.

97) Have you ever thrown up in the car?

I have a very weak stomach when it comes to motion sickness, and when I was little they didn’t give me medication for some reason, so yes.

98) Ever been on a plane?

12 times.

99) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

Just fucking love each other for fuck’s sake.

#me for ts #meme #long post for ts

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What can I do about car insurance from another state? Please help!?

"What can I do about car insurance from another state? Please help!?

Okay basically here's the story. I'm 19, I live with my parents in Wisconsin but I'm trying to move back to Pennsylvania with my aunt and uncle. However I'm not in school at the moment. Apparently if I moved to PA, I'd have to pay 278 dollars more a month through Geico because I'd be living in a different state. I already have a job set up there and all so they could obviously see my paycheck is not from Wisconsin so I can't just lie or something lol. I really know nothing about insurance and how I can work this out without paying that much more. Can anyone help me with other options I could have?

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://financeandcreditsolutions.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr

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What kind of insurance company do I go through to insure a rock show?

Setting up a concert through a venue and they require me to have insurance, in case something happens like someone gets hurt or the venue breaks apart. What kind of insurance am I supposed to go through? Who should I call?""

How much would some general liability insurance cost for a start-up salsa company?

My wife and I are starting a small salsa company selling it at the farmers' market and hopefully some local grocers. We would have no employees and sales will be well below $50K for our first few years. How much would some general liability insurance cost for a this start-up? We are in Lancaster County PA if the area matters. Rough estimates would gladly be accepted!

""Average utility and insurance cost Orland Park, IL?""

I'm planning on buying a townhouse in Orland Park, IL and was wondering what the average utility (water, electricity, heat, disposal) costs are? Anyone have any estimates on insurance? The association fees cover common insurance but don't think it covers anything within the four walls of the house. Know what insurance requirements the lender puts on mortgages? Trying to estimate how much home ownership really is.""

Which car insurance is good and cheap for a teen?

Well not so much a teen anymore im turning 20 in a few months.. but my car insurance is REALLY high..is it because i have a honda civic? or that im 19.. Should i try Geico? I dont know what to do. anybody know any cheap insurance companys?

I just got pulled over for not having my seat buckle on and I'm wondering how much my insurance will go up?

This is the first time I've EVER been pulled over and I've had my license for a little over a year now. I get good grades and all that stuff so my insurance is pretty low for the average person right now. I'm wondering how much my insurance will go up? SOMEONE HELP! Kinda freaking out here. :p

What are some affordable cars for an 18 year old to own that is 5 years old or newer?

When I say own, I mean that the individual is paying for gas, maintenance, and insurance.""

Where can I get started with Motorcycle Insurance Thanks.?

I just got my brand new 150cc Moped where can get started with Motorcycle Insurance and what information do I need. Another questionI want be riding my moped almost everyday and I know you have to pay to keep up your insurance will this effect your licenses if your not paying for insurance Thanks.

I need cheap car insurance?

I stay in Virginia and i got a job that don't pay good. After I pay rent I have nothing just gas to get to work. I need very cheap insurance can anyone help please??

How long after passing does insurance become much cheaper?

I passed my test a few months ago first time and the insurance on my car is massive, probably because i'm a boy and it's a saxo. when it comes to renewing it in september, i can't see it dropping by much. So how many years do you have to be driving for before the costs fall below 1000 per year. Also is it worth taking pass plus, as it costs about 150 and apparently saves you 200, so unless the saving carries over to future years, i can't see the point. Thoughts???""

What can I do about car insurance from another state? Please help!?

How much will a mg zr 1.4 be to insure?

im 17 and i know it want come over 4000 a year

Car insurance company hasn't taken any money?

As title says- Got my first car insurance on Febuarary this year, they took the deposit, sent out all paperworks, I faxed my photocard license and counterpart license and as far as I'm aware I am fully insured to drive with comprehensive cover. However, its now 2 months and 4 days since my cover started and they are yet to take any monthly installments? I've tried contacting them, but spent 20 minutes on hold on a 0845 number, when they told me to leave a message and they'll call you back, but no, 3 days later and still no call.. so whats going on, am i covered and who's in the wrong? I've given them permission to take a direct debit.""

""I only have a learners permit, can I get auto insurance with just a learner's permit?""

I only have a learners permit, can I get auto insurance with just a learner's permit?""

How flexible are life insurance quotes. Can I negotiate with company for a better rate.?

I got a quote for my family and me for life insurance (20 years/400K each). I would like to negotiate a better rate with the broker (assuming same coverage).Can it be done, or are the rates fixed, is there room to negotiate. we did the blood work and were offered standard rates.""

How is Car Insurance privatized ?

I live in Canada where is it Illegal to drive an auto without car insurance yet there is no crown corporation or non-profit organization that runs auto insurance. You are expected to go to private insurance companies who charge $300+ a month for car insurance. If the government has passed a law saying i must have it to drive then why are these companies allowed to make ridiculous profits off me?

How much would a 2002 impreza wrx cost to insure?

Im 17( i know im about to get a bunch of your going to kill yourself! AHHHH!!!! i regularly drive my dads 05 mustang gt, i know how to responsibly control power) and me and my parents have found a great deal on a 2002 impreza sedan, it has 125k miles on it, and the last thing deciding factor before buying this vehicle is the insurance. We already have a mustang gt on the family plan, i live in VA, make all A's(supposed to give me a 30% discount), im male, the color is blue, with only a greddy bov aftermaket part installed. The car itself is blue, it is the turbod WRX version(not the sti), and has never been wrecked. We have state farm, im not sure as to what other information anyone would need to know, but im jusst looking for a rough estimate, thanks for any input.""

""Are there any good insurance companies who dont take part in comparison websites like confused, gocompare etc?""

Are there any good insurance companies who dont take part in comparison websites like confused, gocompare etc?""

Best health insurance for young married parents?

Me and my boyfriend are wanting to get married next year because he'll be graduating high school and it'll be the best time for us I'll still be a junior and we have a young daughter. We will be going to the same college once I graduate plus it has a daycare for our daughter which is great. Once we get married though I know I won't be a single mother anymore so I probably won't qualify for Wic or medicade. So I want to get an idea now for what the best health insurance is for our situation that would be the most affordable since we will be in college and we won't be making a whole lot of money. What is the best and most affordable health insurance for young married parents in college. Also has anyone else been in a similar situation and how did you make it work.

How much will 1 point affect my car insurance???!?

I got a right turn violation about 8 months ago and i took traffic school so im assuming that my insurance won't penalize me. Now i got another ticket(stop sign violation), how much would you estimate the percentage of my insurance? I live in California btw and im 20 years old.""

What is the best dogs health insurance?

i have a few dogs, and need health insurance for them.""

Will my car insurance increase?

I received a ticket for failure to obey street sign, because I went down a closed road. I was wondering will my insurance rates go up because of this? This is my first ticket and have been driving for about 6 years. If I go to traffic school, will it stop the rate from going up? From what I have read online, some people said it does effect and some say no. I have Allstate and live in CA. Any info is much appreciated.""

Where can I get insurance in New York City?

Hi everyone and thanks for reading, I know it's probably a stupid couple questions but I'm trying to figure this out, perhaps i'm not looking in the right places. Anyway I need to know a couple things: 1) Where can I get health insurance in NEW YORK CITY for my employees? 2) Where can I get insurance again in NYC for my company? Thanks everyone!""

How to approach a car insurance company to pay damages to my car?

Okay, I was involved in an accident a month ago. I was at the train station attempting to street park, I saw a car parked in the middle of the side walk and a private house driveway, I looked very carefully and no one was in the car, as I was backing up into the parking space I felt the impact on my passenger side back door, I didn't know what it was until I realized the car on the driveway had backed up into my car. The driver stated that he saw me attempting to park when he was walking to his car but he thought I saw him getting into his car, he said he was in a hurry and was late for work and I should have waited for him to get out first (he had a big ego). I never saw anyone in the car. I am the kind of person that I would have waited and then proceed. Meanwhile I only have liability coverage. My insurance company said that he was at fault- they will not pay for his damages $800. His insurance co. wont pay for mine because they said is 50 - 50 faults, my damages are $1,800 door damages estimated by the other driver claim adjuster. I dont have $1,800 to spend in fixing my car. 2005 Nissan Altima. How can I fight the other party insurance co. to pay for my damages?""

How does anyone afford medical and maternity insurance???!!!!!?

i live in nc and need to purchase health insurance could anyone give me any recommendations toward affordable insurance.

Cancel Car Insurance in Florida-How?

It's my dad's car and everything is under his name. Currently his out of the country and won't be back for a month or two. He got two cars insured with Progressive, one I want to cancel because it's broken down. Told the insurance agent about it and he told me to go down to the tag(building, whatever it call) and turn in the tag to get a paper? My dad is not in the country so will I be able to turn the tag in for him without problem? and what tag is the agent talking about(registration tag?) Also will there be any other document needed? (Going down tomorrow but gathering some information first) Thank You.""

First timer buying Car Insurance?

It will be my first time buying car insurance next month and I am looking to get any advice if possible. I am in the Toronto area and I'm on a budget! What kind of things should I look out for other than price? I'm not even sure what to ask, so ANY advice is helpful -- and even more helpful if you can list some of the cheaper ones!""

Insurance for student?

I am currently a student, and saved up enough to buy a car, but the problem is the insurance. As a student, the insurance premium is very high since I have to be the primary driver. I cannot be under my parents insurance, I am not in good terms with them. Is there any way to reduce the premiums? I already did the driveres ed course which gives you a 10% discount. Do you know any cheap insurance companies? I am just looking for basic coverage. Thanks! PS - I live in Ontario.""

How much would the rate be of the car insuance?

Ok. How much would car insurance cost on a 2007 BMW 335i coupe for an 18 year old driver with about 33,000 miles on the car. Also, how much would a 1999 ford Mustang gt witH 121,000 miles on the car for an 18 year old driver. the bmw will b in a covered shared lot while the mustang will be parked in an uncovered shared lot. We live in pheonix arizona. My car, the mustang, will be used for driving to work, as well as going to class. Same for my boyfriends car, the bmw. School is 4 miles away and work for me is about 25 miles aeay when his is only 1.5. Thabks for everyone who helps(:""

""Could you please help me to find a good and cheap private insurance in NSW, for a family of 3?""

Hi we are a family of 3, and looking for private insurance""

""Female, over 25, 9 years driving experience needs CHEAP CAR INSURANCE?""

Hi, my previous insurance was less than 350.00 for third party, fire and theft (in london). My new car is similar but I am getting quotes for 800+ for third party fire and theft. This is ridiculous. I am in my late twenties and have been driving almost 10 years. I would really appreciate names of small insurance brokers. 10 points.""

Need help with health insurance?

I don't understand about all the stuff with health insurance. I am 22, (male) I have a minimum wage job, and I have some severe mental and physical health issues in which I am in need of help. My job covers nothing. I need some surgeries (specifically my adenoids because of my sleep apnea, and need to see a specialist about some internal things) I really need to get on medication for my severe depression and other things but I have no clue what any of the insurance stuff means, I do not qualify for medicaid, and that's the only insurance I really know anything about. I don't know what deductibles or any of that stuff means. Can someone please help me understand and maybe suggest a good cheap health insurance plan?""

How much does motorcyles insurance run??

I want to be an inexpensive bike to save gas money (like a ninja 250) and I'm curious how much laibility insurance is... my car insurance is only $30 a month and I have a perfect driving record, no accidents. thank you""

Do you pay homeowners insurance in advance?

When closing on a house, do you pay the homeowners insurance in advance?""

Car Insurance Question?

I live in Los Angeles and I am leaving the country for 6 month. Can I stop insurance of my car as no one will drive it? In case of theft how can I get it covered? Would the house insurance work in that case?

Do I need an insurance license in California?

If I work for a licensed insurance agent in California by calling present clients to see if they need more or different insurance and ask questions to get a quote do I need to be licensed? The licensed agent will give all quotes.

What can I do about car insurance from another state? Please help!?

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