#i sent myself all my old favorite pics

[abzania]

I cannot believe it's been 10 years and I'm fucking fixated on Sebastian and Black Butler again. This can't be happening. I shouldn't have screenshots of him, yet here I am. I'm cursed. I can't escape this. My heart is still 13 and stupidly charmed by a stupid pretty demon and his stupid child boss.

[sweetkpopmusings]

bang chan coworker headcanons <3

a/n: i'm once again sorry it has been so long !! life is chaotic, so my writing time had been reduced dramatically :-( regardless i hope this (and the other posts i'm forcing myself to finish soon) will bring you joy ! i really really wish chan was my coworker :,-) pics not mine <3

content: fluff, nonidol!au | wc: 0.9k | warnings: none! | pairing: coworker!bangchan x gn!reader | requests: open

you met chan while staying late to finish up a huge report before the quarter was over

you stayed so late that the lights in the office automatically turned off, so, phone in hand as a flashlight, you walked through the dark office and hoped you could get this sorted before you completely lost all will to finish your work

unfortunately, your phone flashlight did not have a wide enough range to capture everything around you, which meant you were completely unaware of chan walking toward the same spot

you were made aware of his presence when you two bumped into each other and screamed

while you caught your breath, chan asked if you were okay

you replied, still unable to see much in the dark office, “who are you?” which made him laugh

“i’m chan, usually the only one who has to bump into things in order to find the override switch”

you laughed, and, once the lights came on, you realized you recognized chan from his frequent trips to the coffee machine

he recognized you by the fact you usually had headphones on at work, visibly enjoying whatever you were listening to that day

as you walked back to your respective desks, you made introductory small talk, feeling much calmer now that there was a very small chance of another jump scare

by the time you wrapped up, it was far too close to being the next day for your liking

chan, being as caring and responsible as he is, didn’t leave until he knew you were safely headed your way home

as a thank you, you decide to bring him a coffee the next morning

he was so focused on his work that you gave him a good jump scare when you said “hi,” which immediately sent both of you into a giggling fit

that solidified the chemistry between you two, and the rest was history

chan’s coffee habit benefited you, as he would buy a coffee for you on the mornings he stopped by a cafe

you always told him he didn’t need to, and he always said it would hurt his feelings if you didn’t have as much of a morning boost as he did every morning he saw you

his cheesiness aside, you were moved by the sweetness of the gesture

he’s also very much the "iced coffee is a meal" and "this is a latte so it counts as breakfast" kind of coworker i may or may not be that coworker so you put fruit or granola bars on his desk in the mornings

chan beams with joy every time he sees it, but he never lets go of believing coffee counts as breakfast

chan also makes several playlists for different moods at work 

he sends them to you whenever he has finished a new one, buzzing with excitement while he waits for your review

he'll send you an old one too if he knows you need to be uplifted, get in the zone, etc.

when you make him a playlist, he practically melts into a puddle on the floor

all of his friends have that playlist memorized because he plays it all. the. time.

and yes, all of his friends know just about everything about you because you are chan’s favorite part of the workday

chan invites you to little dinners or hangouts with his friends pretty regularly since they’re all dying to meet you

you are surprised by how much chan has told them, and fairly flustered by how much chan remembers about you from quick conversations 

he teases you for blushing, but his ears are bright red which seungmin points out immediately 

one of his other favorite things is when you can hang out after work just the two of you

sometimes, if you can get off early, he’ll insist on “going on an adventure” because you’ve been gifted with rare free time

the adventure often ends up being a trip to target or something casual, but you both have the time of your lives

your coworkers always know when you two are hanging out by the sound of laughter echoing through the office

chan’s dad jokes have gotten so much stronger since he met you because he finally has someone he can pester with them all day long

if you two can’t chat during the day because you’re swamped, or because your supervisors told you you needed to stop messing around so much, chan will message you a dad joke every hour and peek over his desk to watch you open the message

you two have to hold your hands over your mouths to keep from bursting into laughter

at this point, it’s so normal that your coworkers don’t get concerned when they see tears in your eyes

your coworkers also know when one of you is out sick or on vacation because you two are so different without the other in the office

lowkey they miss you two being together like you’re entertainment for the whole office

sometimes you end up staying late at the office together, but, instead of scaring each other while looking for the light switch, you listen to music while you work in peace

or you have deep conversations because you can’t handle looking at a document for another second

you’re both enchanted by each other’s minds, and it’s so easy to have life-changing revelations whenever you open up to each other

so, while working overtime isn’t ideal, you can’t complain because you get to do it together

chan would never tell you, but on the night you met, he had finished his work before you and  decided to stay so you didn’t have to be alone <33 

what he will tell you, over and over again, is that night was the best overtime he had ever worked because it brought you into his life <33333

[hotvintagepoll]

Welcome to the HOT AND VINTAGE MOVIE STARS tournament! We are currently on a break between tournaments, having just finished the Hot & Vintage Movie Man Tournament last week. The Hot & Vintage Movie Women Tournament starts next week on February 29th (Leap Year Day) MARCH 2ND. The submission form for the ladies is now closed.

All polls—including ongoing polls, previous rounds, old tournaments, the various shadow brackets, and fun mini polls—can be found in the #hotvintagepoll tag. Every poll in the Hot & Vintage Women Tournament will be tagged with the hot woman in it if you need to search for a hot woman in particular. There have been around 400+ submissions, so Round 1 will probably be posted over the course of a few days.

FAQs:

“I have propaganda for the hot women!” Great! Please don't send or tag me in any hot women propaganda until the poll including that hot lady is posted.

"....but you're posting gifsets of hot ladies?" Yes. As a special treat to myself I get to post a little additional propaganda of my own between tournaments. (Once the tournament begins I am sworn to neutrality and only post the propaganda sent to me.) The gifsets I reblog are not representative of my own views—ie I reblog both my secret favorites and other hot ladies who were submitted numerous times—and are intended just to get us in the Hot Lady spirit™.

“How do I send in hot women propaganda once the tournament starts?” Send me an ask, or reblog the poll and add your propaganda to it. I don’t boost all the propaganda I see or receive, but I try to boost the best of the best.

If you’re submitting propaganda for your hot lady, I don’t accept propaganda that’s from beyond the end of this tournament’s era (ie don’t send me pics of them from after 1970). I also don’t accept them acting in TV shows unless it’s clearly a cameo where they’re playing themselves (ie, no I Love Lucy or Catwoman appearances). I'm more likely to post your propaganda if it's not extremely long.

I don’t post or boost negative propaganda about any hot woman. If you really hate that a certain hot woman is winning, send me positive propaganda for their hot opponent. If you think a hot woman shouldn’t even be included in the tournaments because of scummy things she did in her lifetime, please read my take on it here.

"Can I still submit propaganda for the hot men?" You can, I guess, but it's a bit pointless because there's no tournament for the hot men going on right now, and I won't post it. Toshiro Mifune was crowned winner and every other nominated hot man was sent to the shadow realm. "I'm catching up on the brackets now! How do I find out more about the Hot Men tournament?" You can do a tag search for a specific hot man if you want to see if he was included and all his propaganda, or you can just go into the #hotvintagepoll tag in my archive and dig through the old posts to see everything. I've turned most of the rounds into featured tags in the archive to make it easy to follow the tournament (#round 1, #round 2, etc).

If I see repetitive, trolling, and/or bigoted remarks in the comments, I may block you from this bracket. If you want to point out a hot woman’s flaws or misdemeanors, that’s fine, but if I see consistent bad-faith trolling, you will be blocked.

On that note—if you have an issue with a poll, don't be a dick and I'll try to solve it. If you hate a poll pic, complain AND send me something I could use instead. I'm not going to go hunting for new photos on my own. In general I try to keep this poll fun but I will block if I see thoughtless bitching.

“I KNOW THEY'RE ALL IN THE SHADOW REALM BUT I want to see all the hot men who competed in one place!!” You can find all the round 1 matchups here (thank you @markwatnae!).

“My FAQ isn’t on here :(” send me an ask! I love hearing from you guys—just please check these basics first.

Thank you for being here! Enjoy the tournament.

[mad3lyncline]

𝑻𝑬𝑿𝑻𝑺 𝑭𝑹𝑶𝑴 𝑴𝒀 𝑭𝑨𝑴𝑰𝑳𝒀 𝑮𝑹𝑶𝑼𝑷 𝑪𝑯𝑨𝑻 . starters from a variety of real texts that have cursed my family group chat .

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i didn't see that [ name ] is holding his junk until after i sent the pic

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] just ate some fig newtons , the extra long ones

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] fuck yeah , go give that beer your dick !

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] maybe he'll let you down quicker if you give him an open mouth kiss

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] you'll want to keep the gondola operator alive but everyone else is dispensable

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] we have parked our lard asses under displays for souvenirs and we are both NOT MOVING .

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] no more mountains you've lost your mountain privileges

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] we still have our sense of humor , but [ name ] may lose theirs at any moment .

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] we are safe . we think . no need to worry . i don't think .

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] it's funny now , but i can feel myself getting a bit cranky .

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i'm really sick with icantgotowork disease 🦠 it's rough

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] have you guys gotten diarrhea yet ?

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i hear [ name's ] ex is writing a diss track

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] okay getting food bird pooped on me

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i just ate a cake that said 'happy birthday baby jesus'

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] the autism is strong today

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] there will be no butt cakes and please take me off this thread

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i'll start growing my pubes !

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] [ name ] is making us celebrate president's day with a cake

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] my favorite thing is explaining slang that mom will absolutely hate

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] their old dog looked like a cigarette

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] yeah it's really hard being really good looking all the time

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i'm about to be that asshole that brings their leftovers on a plane

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i have to focus on one weird thing a day or i'll die

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] congrats bunghole i'm proud of you 🥰

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] just so you know : penis .

[crush-like-that]

Now that you mootified me, there will be so many asks from me😈 but I will send a few condensed ones to start off with

to begin:

TOP FIVE RIORDANVERSE BOOKS GO!!

TOP FIVE APOLLO CAMPERS EXCLUDING WILL GO!!

TOP FIVE NAOMI SOLACE AND WILL HEADCANONS GO!!

DID YOU LIKE TSATS, NOT READ, OR DISLIKED AND WHY??

and last- but CERTAINLY not least-

Naomi Solace headcanons for my brain rot🫶🏻

Thanks in advance for the brain rot, and I apologize if this got sent in twice; my tumblr crashed as I was submitting the first one😡

Yippie!!!

top five is ROUGH uhmmmmm

Titan's Curse and the Last Olympian are so up there. I also really love the Son of Neptune. I'm rereading all the books again for the millionth time but this time I'm annotating so I can actually pic favorites, but I'm still on SoN so I can't make up my mind on the rest yet 😭😭

top five EXCLUDING WILL?!?!???!?!?!? HE'S LITERALLY MY FAVORITE HE'S MY BBG I LOVE HIM WHAT. (can't) call me basic but I LOVE kayla and austin. Also Lee and Michael hold a verryyyyy special place in my heart. Can I say myself? KIDDING. uhm uhm uhm. I don't remember any others woops

UGH I love Naomi and Will!!!! 1. Will is the textbook definition of a Mama's Boy. and his mama KNOWS IT. She's so proud of him 2. Naomi isn't really the best at telling people what she's thinking or how she feels about them (i e "I'm proud of you" "you did really good!" "you have such talent for (said thing)") but she always ALWAYS makes a conscious effort to tell Will she loves him 3. Will may be a sixteen year old, 6'4'' grown child, but he will still curl up in his mama's arms. 4. Will didn't meet his grandparents til he was 12. He had been a year round camper since he was 10. When he turned 11, Naomi moved back in with her parents. After a bit, Will went to 'summers only' for a year 5. When Will can't sleep, he'll listen to some of Naomi's older songs, the ones she'd sing for him when she was still writing them.

Plus one... two. 6. Like alot of young kids, Will liked to hold strands of Naomi's hair when he was pretty young. She kept it long and curly, and Will loved the texture. (and this is why Will likes to play with Nico's hair) 7. Will was born with brown hair, the same light brown that Naomi has. When he was claimed by Apollo, most of his hair went blonde. (happens to every child of apollo)

I personally LOVE tsats. I really don't think it was that good of a book and, as always with Rick's books, there are many time inconsistencies, but I still love it with my whole heart. Nico was my favorite character as soon as he was introduced, blah blah blah saw myself in him, blah blah blah other traumatic stuff that made me love him more, now he's queer and i'm crying because he's like me blah blah blah, and BOOM! TSATS! It's very dear to me because I get to see these characters over come their problems and... it's jsut very emotional

NAOMI FOR THE WIN!!!!! @mediumgayitalian has some really good Naomi writings

She met Apollo at one of her first gigs at a local bar. She thought he was some fancy fella from a band. They 'dated' for a bit before he had to go. Naomi understood, a good musicians life was never stationary. She was nineteen. When she was found out she was pregnant, she ran away from home, absolutely terrified of what her good Christian parents would think if they found out she had gotten knocked up by some no good rocker.

It was just them for a while, Naomi and her little baby. She never acted like she was always alone. Always said "us" and "we". She was never alone, she had her baby. She had to bounce around from place to place, looking for working, looking for a place to stay. A month before Will was born, she finally found a stable job and apartment. Naomi loved Will more than she thought she ever could, seeing as she already loved him so much before she had even met him. They were never separated- hell, until he started kindergarten, Will went to work with Naomi. All her coworkers loved him, his gap-toothed smile and face that lit up like the sun. That's all Naomi ever needed. Her son. Her sun. And, of course, he became her muse. Every song she wrote was about him in some way. Something about the sunshine, or a baby's laugh, her strongest love, her will to live. Her music started to get popular. Naomi would pinch Will's cheeks, "all because of you," she'd face. Will would giggle in return. Sure, he didn't entirely understand what it all meant, but if Naomi could keep him happy, she would do anything. Will was about eight when Naomi started opening up to the possibility of touring. It was nerve-wracking. Her stability, which she had worked so hard for, would be gone. She'd be bouncing around again, but this time she'd have Will with her. She was more of a "we" than she thought before. After some convincing from her friends (friends? coworkers? other women her age with children she was able to speak to occasionally? it was all the same) Naomi decided that the tour would be good for Will. The money she could get off of it... She could give Will a good life, better than what she would be able to do on her own.

She hadn't expected Will to hate the tour life as much as he did. He had to spend more time alone or with a babysitter, away from his mama. She wasn't there to tuck him in every night. He was sleeping in hotels or on a bus, not in his bed that had always been right by hers. Then, right around Will's tenth birthday, Naomi started to notice some odd things. Odd things that put Will in danger. So they went to New York.... And Will went to camp. Naomi, now she won't admit it, but she cried for weeks after she dropped him off. She couldn't sleep without him there, now completely alone. Alone for the first time in her life. She missed her baby boy, his sunshine smiles, his laughter, his stubborn curls- Hell, she missed the fact that they couldn't be in separate rooms for more than five minutes before Will started to get nervous. She missed the way he'd brush through her hair whenever he was sitting next to her, how he always curled up to her side and tucked himself under her arms. So for the first time in ten years, she called her mama. Naomi was 30 when she moved back in with her parents. She couldn't write songs any more, every one came out sounding wrong, half complete. Things didn't make sense. So she worked on their farm, helped them keep up the chores and maintain the fields Most of her cousins worked for the family business too, so she saw them almost daily either out on the fields or while dropping off shipments. She could feel the way they judged her. She left with that baby years ago. Now she's here and her baby ain't. How must she look as mother? If only they knew, how hard it was for her. So, with Chiron's permission and direct instructions of care (how stupid is that, Naomi having to learn how to take care of HER baby from someone else) Naomi brought Will home for the school year. Her parents LOVED him. They adopted the roles of Gammie and Pawpaw quickly. "Oh look at that smile," they'd coo and pinch at Will cheeks. But Will didn't laugh the same. He was hesitant, shakier. Wore an ace bandage around his wrist. His arms and legs were littered with light scars. Hell, his hair was blonde now! Will, always her baby, didn't look like her baby. Naomi was scared for him. But Will was still a kid, he'd run and laugh with her cousins' kids, he made friends at school, he shared stories of what life was like during the rest of the year (even though Naomi had heard it all in letters), he Pawpaw out with the animals on the farm. Her baby was back. She wouldn't be able to keep him for long, and god knew how much different he was gonna be next time she saw him, but for now she had her baby.

woops sorry that was a long one

[fourseasonsfigs]

Building Block Figs - Armory

Following up on the recent sets of building block figs I've been posting, comes one of my absolute favorites!

As I mentioned with the earlier fig sets (Building Block Figs - Beautiful Fight Scene in the Middle of the Lake (Part One, Two, and Coda); Basking in the Sun, Catching Light, and Two Devils), I missed these sets when they first came out, so I've had to pick them all up on Xianyu. With the exception of this set! This one I couldn't get on Xianyu, despite my best efforts. I have only seen it for sale exactly once, and when I tried to buy it, it turned out the listing was only up to draw traffic, and the seller just had one other (vaguely related) set. I was resigned to just keep watching and searching for it and hoping for the best, which was a real pity, because just from the small sales picture I really, really had to have it.

Thankfully! Qilin, the merch wrangler extraordinaire (@88Qilin on Twitter), had bought this set way back in the day, and when she heard I was on the search for more of these sets, was kind enough to check in with me to see if I needed it. AND BOY DID I. She immediately sent it off, and it arrived in record time! She even included some wonderful little extras, that I took a picture of immediately, but for some reason can no longer find. I'll take another pic and add it! In the meantime, I'll add a placeholder:

[Qilin's extra goodies pic goes here]

I was so excited to get this set, I can't even tell you. I feel super, super lucky.

(Fun fact, Qilin is the reason I originally found out about fan made figs in the first place! I saw her post on Twitter (also way back in the day) about the New Year's series of 6 figs, and I absolutely had to have them. I had just reactivated my long-dormant Twitter account to keep up with the fandom, and I was super nervous to message her, thinking she would be like, "who is this total rando messaging me out of nowhere?!" But no, she was super nice, and very helpful, and it was entirely thanks to her I was able to buy the whole set. A minor miracle at the time, trust me, considering how green I was at navigating Weidian back then. If you ever want to buy figs directly, definitely check out her pinned post walkthrough on her Twitter page, it's invaluable information.)

The set came sealed and as usual, in a plain box. Inside there was the same set up as the other sets in this series - a double bagged bag of bricks, the card with the QR code for the online 3-D instructions, and a handy little tool to separate bricks.

The full name of this set is Lao Wen Sacrificed his Life to Save Ah Xu. It measures 8.0 x 5.6 x 12.1 cm, and is rated 10 hours to complete. The "hours to complete" ratings have been extremely accurate to date. But, I was determined to get this set done over this holiday weekend, so hoped that my prior experience on these would serve me well to get it done in record time. So I timed myself!

Here I am getting ready to start. Not a lot of colors, which is typical for these sets. Not too bad looking, huh? You'll notice that unlike the other sets, I didn't carefully pre-sort out all the pieces by size and shape. I simply sorted by color and left them in big piles like this, in a bid to shave off even more time. I was a bit curious if it would be faster to hunt-and-peck through each pile for the right bricks, or if sorting them was about the same. Given that it took about an hour to sort through the larger sets, I decided to roll the dice here.

The directions informed me there were 184 steps in this set. Not too bad! I sat down, put on my headphones, cranked up some music, and got started.

I finished the first little block just as fast as could be. I was flying! I was so proud of myself. It was a holiday weekend, the morning was bright and sunny, and I was having a grand old time.

The next step was to add a second base square in, and then a third and fourth. I added in the second base and kept on flying through it. And then...I ran out of a white brick in the largest size.

Which is kind of impossible. Each of these sets has extras of all the bricks - quite a few, actually. So I searched through the white pile a couple extra times, and sat there and wondered what was going on. As you know, I have lots of spare bricks from the previous sets, so it would be easy enough to pull the right one out, but this shouldn't be happening.

So I was like, wait a minute. I looked back at the phone directions for the step I was on, and said, hold on, I don’t see the character 白 for white anywhere. Uh oh. I Google Translated the characters that were there and sure enough, 透明 meant transparent.

I had just been going off the colors on the phone screen, and I mean, come on! The bricks looked white! If you scroll up and look at it, don't you think so too?

Anyway.

So, I pulled off all the white bricks, and replaced them with transparent bricks, and hey, what do you know, I had plenty of them.

Alright, alright, so this happens when you don't speak the language. Never fear, I'm back on track!

Dear friends, I was not back on track.

Sometime in all this confusion, I had spun around my little base square around, so when I attached it to the other base squares, I started filling in the top bricks the wrong way around. Luckily, I realized what I was doing after a few steps in, and I didn't have to totally reassemble it like I did with the Not White But Transparent Brick Debacle of early 2024. I just gently disconnected the base squares from each other, turned them around, and kept going.

So! I finished the first layer 1 hour, 46 minutes in. This, of course, includes the one major mistake and the one minor mistake. It's pretty big, isn't it? The other fig sets only had max 2 base squares, so I was pretty excited to see how nice and big this was. The transparent bricks look nice, huh?

I took a bit of a break. Made a little bit of lunch, tidied up a bit, and then came back excited to tackle the next round.

I was paying attention to the names of the brick colors at this point, believe me.

I finished the next layer 2 hours and 54 minutes in. Pretty cool looking, isn't it? It looks like some kind of disk in an alien language. I must admit when I got here, I was both quite happy and also a little concerned. Only layer 2? Still 138 layers to go, and it's been about 3 hours?

Well, no big deal if it took me longer, really. I was having a good time, and there was no actual rush. I will say that at this point, my finger tips were certainly feeling the constant pressing and snapping of the bricks. They had actually toughened up back when I was doing set after set after set, but it had been some time, and my fingertips were back to their usual soft selves.

Luckily for my fingers, I had errands to run and other things to do, so my sore little fingertips got a needed break.

The next morning, I was up and back at it!

The third layer was starting to look like the actual base of the platform from the show. I was pretty excited to finish this layer, I have to say. I took little breaks here and there, but I was pretty determined to make some real progress.

By that evening, I had gotten pretty far. I stopped here at 6 hours and 3 minutes.

I was inordinately pleased by getting to this step. I could see the robes carefully spread out here, just like the show, and their hands out there. There was also a little bit of white where I was starting Lao Wen's new hair color.

You can tell the passage of time by how the light keeps changing in each of these pictures! I always end with the bricks for the step I'm on laid out in front of me, so I always know where I am when I pick the set back up. My memory is just too bad otherwise, I'll forget what I'm doing.

Well, 3-day holiday weekends don't last forever, so I woke up this morning determined to finish this. There was a little bit of race against the clock today, since I had appointments I had to take care of, and I needed to have enough light left to take final pictures. So, I sat down, and started going as fast as I could.

At 7 hours and 6 minutes, I had built up the bodies, and was on to the heads. I hurried through my afternoon errands and got back around 3:10 pm. The sun sets here around 4:20, so I didn't have much time. Tomorrow I get on a plane, so it really was up against the clock! I didn't even put my headphones on this time, I just sat down and focused.

But, it turns out that I didn't need that much time. 45 minutes later, I was done!

Total hours clocked in at 7 hours and 51 minutes. I will tell you, I was indeed flying through this set - all those other fig sets that I made mistakes on definitely helped me. I knew what I was doing, and I went fast. If this had been my first set, or even my second (ok, let's be real, even my third), it would 100% have taken me at least the full 10 hours. It also helped that other than Big Error 1 and Small Error 1, I didn't make any other mistakes.

You can see how many bricks are left (which is why I knew something was up when I ran out of that white brick earlier). I will say that not pre-sorting the bricks is definitely the way to go - it's pretty easy to pick out the right ones, and certainly saves a lot of time just organizing them into piles.

Alright! Let's do some beauty shots, shall we? As you know, the light wasn't super great, but it was good enough!

Oops, I see I need to press down a little on Lao Wen's head to get the bricks firmly squeezed together. I'll admit my aching fingertips were not pressing down super hard at this point!

I really love the 3-D effect of the icicles ringing the platform. This set is just fantastic!

It's a little hard to see A-Xu's luxurious mane of hair here with the black on black, but it's quite nice.

Lao Wen's closed eyes! Please also note the little white underlayer on his robes here at his neck. So cute.

This is a nice angle to see A-Xu's married hair bun (minus one hairpin, of course) and Lao Wen's loop of hair.

This angle is the coup de grâce of this whole set for me. For the longest time, I thought the single bricks was his eyes and the marks down his cheeks were tears, but in reality I think the larger bricks are his eyes, and the smaller bricks are his eyebrows going up in shock and horror. But all I can see are (non canonically accurate) tears free flowing down his cheeks!

I did waste several minutes at the point I was building this just contemplating his face, and I was THIS close to subbing in the light blue for to make tears after all, because (sorry A-Xu) I find it delightfully hilarious. Little Lego tears! I can't even. But, I decided to go with the actual design for this so you could see it (and go back and replace them afterwards).

Ahem. Anyway. This is also a beautiful shot to see Lao Wen's long white hair draping over his shoulders.

More of the snow and icicles all the way around. It looks great.

Seriously, don't you think they look like tears? Right, anyway. This actually isn't a bad angle to admire the modeling on the clothing.

And we're back around. The modeling really is beautiful on this, with their robes carefully spread out behind them and to the sides of them.

Time for some closeups:

Aww, Lao Wen.

Aww, A-Xu, honey.

The bottoms-up angle was really hard to get on this set, since the base was so large.

The top down angle looks great I think. This is actually the first time that I'm noticing they have the scroll underneath them.

Honestly, I'm so impressed with this set. With only 9 colors, and some very basic building block shapes, they did a gorgeous job rendering this scene.

With my last picture, in the last of my fading light, here's my two sets of armory figs re-enacting this scene. The closest set is actually from the New Year's set of of 6 that Qilin helped me buy back in the day, so this really is full circle!

I couldn't quite get my camera to focus on both sets, but you can see the relative size difference at least. It's a big set!

Alright, these are the last of these sets for a while - there's two more sets of two single figures each, but I have not been able to locate them on Xianyu either. I'm ok with it though - this is the last of the big scene sets, and one I really, really wanted. The others are nice but not quite as special as the sets.

Thanks for the figthusiasts friends that have accompanied me on these building block fig posts! They're all quite long, so I appreciate you reading all my thoughts and experiences with these. I absolutely love them - they were a ton of fun, and I only wish I had more! I'd love to enact out the entire series with building block scenes - can you imagine?

Material: Plastic building blocks

Fig Count: 520

Scene Count: 37

Rating: Pure love

[link to the Master Post Index]

[faghubby]

Big Cock

I sat in a chair and watched as Keri 29, my wife tried to suck the biggest cock I had ever seen. We had spent months talking about sharing her, finding her some big cock to fuck. Now after dozens of online conversations one no show attempt and weeks of back and forth. We had found George. George was a forty year old black man who lived about an hour away. Keri was drawn to his dominant manorisms. And interested in his enormous cock. I had seen pics but now as I watched Keri try and wrap her hand around it I was in awe. At just under 11 inches and thick as a cock can. Keri looked over at me then went back to sucking George's cock.

I sat quietly and watched as George used Keri. He moved her like a ragdoll into whatever position he wanted. He went slow at first as he worked his cock into her pussy. Her eyes rolled into her head as he did she moaned and screamed as he did.

"Holy fuck, God it's so fucking big" she cried as he bottomed it out inside her.

" Your going to beg me to fuck you, you need this cock now" he told her. I watched as my wife came over and over on his cock until he finally pumped his seed deep inside her. He climbed off her and looked at me. His cock now soft still hung low between his legs.

"That's what you wanted wasn't it see your wife get fucked by a real cock" he laughed and got dressed and left. I thought Keri was asleep I covered her and let her rest. I was so turned on I went into the bathroom and started to jerk off. Keri walked in a second later to use the toilet. She walked up and took my cock.

"It feels so small" Keri said as she jerked me off. I came quickly. She just went and used the toilet then went back to lay down.

"I am so sore baby" she told me as I tucked her back in. I went and watched some TV letting her rest. I found myself hard thinking about Keri and George and jerked off again. Before heading to bed. The room still smelled like sex. As I layed next ro my wife.

Keri was up before me. She bought me breakfast in bed. Keri sat on the edge of the bed as I ate.

"How are you Matt?" She asked. Touching my leg.

"Wonderful, you looked amazing last night" I told her. Her hand slid under the blanket and stroked my dick.

"Would you like me to see him again?" She asked. I nodded. Her hand cupped my balls. I came again very quickly.

"It was the best sex of my life Keri told me. "I would very much like to see him again"

It was a few days later when Keri initiated sex with me. I climbed on top and slid my dick easily into her. I started to fuck her. Keri looked me straight in the eye.

"Do you feel anything?" She asked a bit surprised. I stopped and looked back buried inside her.

"Your warm and wet" I told her.

"But you can't feel me" she said. I didn't want to upset her. "It's OK I can't feel you at all" she informed me kissing me. I pulled out.

"Sorry" I said. Feeling ashamed.

"No baby, it's OK you can continue" Keri tried to assure me. I went limp. Keri reached out and played with me.

"I can call George again" she told me I got hard instantly ad she mentioned his name. She stroked me a few times and I shot my load all over myself. Keri held me as I fell asleep.

The next evening she informed me she had made arrangements to meet George again. I told her I had to work and couldn't be there.

"It's OK, do you mind if i meet him alone Matt?" Keriasked.

"I guess not" I told her. The next day she sent me two pics of her and George. One of George's cock and then one of it buried inside her.

When I arrived home Keri was in great spirits and had made my favorite dinner. As we sat to eat.

"Did you play with yourself" she smiled.

"I was at work?" I reminded her. She opened her phone and showed me a video clip of George's cock her hand slid down my pants.

"You get as excited as I do just thinking about his cock" she teased. Again I came quickly. She continued to play with my soft dick.

"It's so tiny after." She continued I thought about George still hanging low even soft.

"I was bad, but don't be mad at me" she whispered. "I had to tell someone" she continued. I looked at her panicked

"I told Gerry how you had let me take a big black lover" she explained I got hard again. Gerry was her best friend and old roommate from college. I had gone on a date with Gerry first way back in school but then met Keri. We had al remained close.

"You like that I told her?" Keri giggled teasing dick.

"She thinks I should Cuckold you completely" she bit my ear softly.

"How do you feel about only getting handjobs from now on?" She kissed my neck "keep myself for only real cocks" she continued

"Some cuckolds like to clean up thier wives after they have sex with real men" she told me. "Some even like to fluff thier wife's lovers" she teased. She bought her hand up to my mouth glistening with precum. She rubbed it against my lips. As soon as her hand returned I came in my pants.

Keri continued to meet George several times a week. She offered me her used cunt after every date. But I always refused. Keri would jerk me off as she told me about her adventures rwith George. I would taste my precum but once I came had no interest in it.

Then one night Gerry was over for dinner just the three of us. When the doorbell rang. I answered the door to see George standing there. He pushed past me. Took Keri's hand and led her too the bedroom. Right in front of Gerry. Keri didn't resist at all.

"She needs him" she told me. "Keri told me how it makes her feel like a woman" I stood in awe

"Has she told you she let him fuck her ass?" Gerry asked

"What? Really? She never said" I told her. I couldn't believe I was discussing this with Gerry.

We soon heard the sounds of sex coming from upstairs. I was hard as a rock as I listened. Gerry came over and started to rub herself as she stood before me.

"Keri doesn't even let you lick her pussy does she?" Gerry said. I nodded.

"I know she told me unless you lickher used she won't let you" Gerry laughed and pulled down her leggings and panties in one motion.

"Lick mine" she told me. Pulling me to her she sat down and lifted her leg. I was swept up in it and licked her. It was salty then a glob of cum touched my tounge I tried to pull away. But she held my head.

"Let go you want this, it's Jack's cum" she told me Jack was a friend of mine. I did not know they where sleeping together. I sucked all of Jack's cum out of her and nmade her cum against my tounge. We where both cleaned up by the time George came downstairs and promptly left. Gerry took my byt he arm and led me to my room.

"Go and clean her, she would love it if you did. She feels guilty about George. This will make her feel more comfortable with him." Gerry told me. I entered the dark room Keri was laying on the bed I lifted the blanket an could see her pussy glistening in the faint light from the hall. I lowered my head and tasted George's cum first I licked it all off her thighs before I sucked it from her pussy. Keri moaned and spread her legs wide letting me get it all. I could not believe how much cum George had left in her. I made Keri cum twice before I got it all. When I finished Keri reached into my pants and discovered I had cum in my pants.

"Panties, some cucks love to wear panties" Keri told me. "Would you like to try some on? She teased. I know she would keep bringing it up li,w she had thecream pies. Gerry came in and said goodbye as Keri held me close. In the morning we woke to find Gerry's panties folded and sitting on the kitchen counter. With a note

/ thanks cumsucker I left these for you to remember first time you discovered you love cum. Might like to wear panties when you swallow lots of semen. /

Keri laughed and held them up to me.

"Go ahead give them a chance" Keri said I knew I would but needed to not give in so easy

[setsugekka]

Ϟ-  honestly the first time I’ve felt this way when reading your work was when I first read paradise lost ch. 7 when mc realized seonghwa sent that video to hongjoong:

“You slowly look back up and towards Seonghwa, still silently perched in the kitchen — watching you, but with nothing to say. Slowly, he brings his hand from the side of his arm to take a sip of the beverage…

But not before ever so gently tipping it towards you.

Cheers, indeed. And 'fuck you, too.’”

when I first read that my jaw was on the floor, I wanted to skin him alive and I had to exit out the pic for a bit before I could continue reading. I mean ik yeah “boo mc we hate your pussy” but revenge porn?? Brutal

✹- I’ve been meaning to ask for a while what is it that got you into writing and how did you improve your writing skills to what they are now?

⊞- not a prediction, but something youve mentioned before the jjk/wooyoung crossover fit (if you ever decide to do it, you know I am rsvp’d, 1st in line, 🪑, all of the above)

♫- cots! (bc I never got to read it 🥲)

oh and this one! ✦

💗💗

sorry i sent a lot i love ask games 🫶🏾

PLEASE, i love that you're willing to play along with my insanity 💗

ϟ tell me what moment/scene in [fic] made you sicko in the window.jpg to read and i’ll tell you which scene made me feel that way to write

FJGDJFJG THAT PART!!! yeah, you're so valid for that. truth be told, i wasn't sure i even wanted to do it but i really felt like it drove the point of everything home too well not to 😶 as for what scene i've written that made me feel that way? hmmmm...there's a lot of them coming up in atarashii tbh fdkgdffg so i'm excited for when more of that gets posted. probably the most i've ever felt that was the ending of ruined king though, because most everyone felt very sure it was going to go one way and i was basking in Knowing.

✹ wildcard - I’ve been meaning to ask for a while what is it that got you into writing and how did you improve your writing skills to what they are now?

oooh, good question!

so, really, i've been dabbling in writing fic for a long time. on and off, really short bursts. back in 2019 i wrote a little bit for exo and nct on ao3 but i guess i got bored, just fell off from it again. then the pandemic hit and my bestie and i got into stray kids so we started reading a whole metric fuckton of fic on here together as a bonding activity cuz we didn't really have much else to do. eventually there came a point where i was just sort of like..."i feel like i can do this," so i made a blog and wrote some short, horny lil ficlets mostly for her/us and posted them, not really expecting anyone to even read them, much less start following me for more. but that's exactly what happened LMAO. but i was bored and crazy inspired so i was just cranking out a crazy amount of fic.

which i guess naturally segues into the improvement side of things and i think the biggest factor in that is just writing. writing a shit ton. i was reading a lot of fic then as well and no doubt that helped but i really think it was the writing that really pushed me along. i realized pretty soon after starting that i wanted to do longer, more plot-focused fics and my desire to grow and improve and challenge myself has always been imbedded in doing this. it was always sort of a question with each new project of "can i pull this off if i do X."

one of the first examples of this was harbinger, which was my first sort of horror/fantasy fic, and i think doing that really leveled up my ability just by itself. i was writing paradise lost while doing that, and then afterwards i did project d, which is one of my favorite fics and i think even to this day is some of my best work! after that is when i took on the massive challenge of doing city of the sky, which, those of you who were with me on the old blog while i was doing it know that was full of horrors and trials and tribulations but it was a massive challenge to take on and while i hated doing that fic and wasn't really happy with it while it was happening, i look back at it really fondly (and am now pissed i lost so much of it in the move like an idiot 😒).

all of this to say: challenge is growth. all of my challenges have been pretty self-sustained, i've always wanted to push the boundaries of what i'm able to do and i've been willing to fall flat on my face if i fail, but i think that's how one improves sometimes? like, i think there is validity in writing just because you feel like it and it doesn't have to be some massive undertaking of becoming the best and greatest or whatever but a lot of the joy for me is the challenge, so as long as i am finding new ways to push myself, and maybe even fail and suck at something, then i'll probably still be writing, learning, hopefully getting better, and most importantly, having fun.

⊞ send a prediction for a fic i’ll write in the future - not a prediction, but something youve mentioned before the jjk/wooyoung crossover fit (if you ever decide to do it, you know I am rsvp’d, 1st in line, 🪑, all of the above)

this is so funny because i have a wip doc of a jjk fic (though it has nothing to do with kpop) that i started and then just. have not touched since. i realized i struggle to have the same inventive drive writing stuff that isn't rpf because i really enjoy the freedom of not having a "canon" to adhere to. i can write these men as anything and no one can tell me shit about it being "out of character" because they're effectively just face claims and none of us know what they're really like anyway, where as writing gojo is like...okay, we all know who and how gojo is 😭😭😭 but who knows! i can never say i'll never write something, the wip is still sitting there and season 2 is coming out so...who knows!

♫ send a fic and i’ll make a 3-5 song playlist for you - city of the sky

OH THIS IS HARD BUT FUN. (sorry you never got to read it 😭😭)

I'm a Pop - Chanmina

Blooming - Band-Maid

RIOT - Raise A Suilen

２１世紀型行進曲 - miyavi

✦ what was your easiest fic to write & your hardest?

hmmm, city of the sky definitely the hardest by far LMAO there were so many struggles and i realized less than halfway through that i hated writing action scenes...in a fic all about fighting and action. oops. easiest...maybe atarashii? it's pretty straight forward with the debauchery so i didn't have to think all that hard about it jkdfdghjdf.

THANKS FOR PLAYING WITH ME 🥰🥰🥰🥰

[pjstafford]

A non-obligatory 2022 year-end wrap-up

I am old enough to remember when it was really easy to lose contact with folks when you or they moved to different states. Without social media or instant messaging, there wasn't the easy type of access to knowing what is going on with a person as there is today. Long-distance phone calls were expensive - for emergencies, chats on birthdays, the weekly call to your mother timed so as to not cost so much. There were no digital Christmas cards. We mailed old fashion, snail mail cards with chatty family newsletters to tell everyone what the family had been up to that year. One letter summarizing the year for everyone - your friends from high school, co-workers, extended family, old boyfriend's parents- everyone got one really chatty and carefully worded letter.

It wasn't that different than today's social media, in its way. We generally put on the best face. If we bought a new home, did renovations, or purchased a new car, then generally the family pic was taken in front of that big purchase - or there would be a family pic of this summer's great beach trip. We would tell about our pets. If we started a new job. If someone graduated from school. If we were planning a move. I loved receiving and writing those letters until the year I got a divorce. Then, I didn't know how to put that in a charming, fun letter. It didn't seem Christmas spirit-like to tell people who didn't already know what was, for me, the absolute most devastating news. So I sent signature cards - no time to write more - love you and miss you. I was surprised by the number of friends I hadn't seen in a few years calling to say - "What the heck is going on? What's the matter?"

It's been a long time since those once-a-year newsy letters were needed. We post our most commonplace days and even our commonplace meals - on social media. I started,a few years ago, doing a New Year's blog which is not so much "here is the news" and instead "here is where my mind is at right now". One year I wrote about my journey as a super fan. Another of my favorite books of the year. The third year of my New Year's resolution. In the last couple of years pandemic New Year's Blogs. This year, I seriously decided not to write one. No one will miss it. Not sure who reads it. No one cares, but, then, I was reminded of not wanting to tell people I was divorced. 2022 deserves a blog.

For me, this will always be the year my best friend died. I don't mean my BFF. I mean someone I met in 1975. Someone I lived with on four different occasions. Someone I had argued and fought with and laughed and been silly with and the one person in the entire world I knew would be there for me no matter what. There are a couple of paragraphs in Bob Dylan's new book The Philosophy of Modern Song describing "Come Rain or Come Shine" which perfectly describes Tyoka's and mine friendship. "Whether you're in good humor or dissatisfied it's all the same, and your affection for each other is lodged in the brain, the nervous system. Whether you have peace of mind or you're down in the mouth, this friendship is longstanding and formidable. Upbeat or downbeat, fidelity is beyond question. Your involvement unchanging with wholehearted respect, this love is conclusive and deep in your subconscious."

Last Thursday afternoon as my work week was ending and I was happy to have a four-day Holiday to enjoy, I thought to myself - "Oh, I should call Tyoka" and, then, I burst into tears. Throughout the weekend, I missed her - not because I spent every holiday with her - but because, if we were not going to spend Holidays together there would be phone calls, texts, gifs, connection, and communication.

Those, then, are my thoughts this New Years. I am grateful for the fact that I live in a day when we don't even know the meaning of a long-distance call. We can zoom, and we can text. Those days of the nice, long Christmas letter are, in fact, behind us for the good -mostly.

This brings us to 2022 as a whole. I attended a Dylan concert. I traveled to Seattle to see my friend Cathy and my favorite writer, David Duchovny, I went to see Tyoka twice this summer and, also, met my friend Charmion and her daughter IRL for the first time. It's good face-to-face and back in person. It's, also, terrifying as so many people I know have been really ill this year. I did less of the virtual entertainment activities I did in the previous two years - they were not as available. I find that sad. I feel changed forever over the last two years. Some of the changes are good. Some are not. I don't think we know yet what the last two years will bring in terms of permanent changes to the way we approach the world.

I am fine. If you knew me when I was twenty, forty, or today, I am as quirky and odd as always. Still don't seem to fit anywhere in this life. I am quick to make a joke, but sadness, fear, and uncertainty are close enough to the surface that I still make a lot of stupid personal decisions and wrong choices. I'm still most excited when I have good work to do. I still am writing. I still dance when alone throughout my day. I can still be extremely passionate about the lyrics of certain songs. My primary resolution for the next year is to learn to cook a variety of foods so that I don't waste food by throwing it in the garbage - so, yes, apples can become apple sauce or an apple/ carrot soup. It's not so much about eating healthier or cheaply as it is about feeling guilty for buying and then throwing out food. That is guilt I can get rid of. It is a thing over which I have control.

Perhaps, I would have more to say about the state of the world and be able to express wise words if I wasn't so preoccupied with my own grief and day-by-day adjusting to a changing world. That is 2022 for me and yet, there isn't a day when I don't find some joy.

Here is something I've been thinking about which I will use to end this blog. As I age, I find the bounce in resiliency to be very different. I don't bounce back from a fall, a fail or a hardship well as I once did, but, maybe, the true bounce should come from standing strong and letting things bounce off of you - not to fall, not to see things as failures but as opportunities for growth, That's a second resolution, I guess, to practice a different type of resiliency.

[noro-noro-noro]

@haxxy you tagged me in this & then i was like okay swag 🕶 and then i forgot to do it. hehe

Relationship Status: single! it’d be nice not to be, but i’m not going to take the steps to do anything about it 

Favorite Color: at this point in time must it even be said... to all my followers, my favorite color is red :3

Song stuck in your head: living in a haze off milky chance new album. whenever i’m not listening to it i’m thinking about listening to it

Song last listened to: chogakusei cover of kareishi no jude

3 favorite foods: ooohh....it’s so hard to decide...... not in any specific order probably creme brulee, strawberry shaved ice taiwanese style, tiramisu

Last thing you googled:  “cyberchase recycling game” due to my sister wanted to play it at work, & then i also wanted to play it. anyway it was quest 3: ecohaven emergency, but i had to stop playing it bc the skwawk pad didn’t work when it was time to triangulate the hack attack. 

Dream Trip?: in 2020 some of the people i used to be friends with in college went on a cross-country road trip for like a month just going anywhere they were interested in. when my dad was younger he went cross country on his motorcycle several times. i want to do this too. go to national parks & go hiking, & go to like...the grand canyon & yellowstone & just spend a lot of time around there. and there are mountains in utah with gorgeous blue lakes that my old roommate would hike at when he went home for summer & he sent pics that made me so jealous. it’d be fun to see the cities too, just to check em out, it’ snot totally a hiking trip! why not actually see the country i live in more than just the slice i know about. the only problem is that doing a month long cross country trip by myself sounds like a great way to disappear & never be heard from again. my sister doesn’t like hiking. who could i take with me that enjoys walking around & can do it for as long as i want to? it’s aa work in progress. 

also i want to go to dubrovnik since that was on our list when i studied abroad with my friend but we ran out of time

Anything you want right now: this is really open-ended. i want the alt covers i needed to do for work to magically be done so i don’t ahve to do them...i want dave the diver to come out now so i can do that.... i want everybody who’s ever wronged me to be burnt up under a magnifying glass. i want to be able to teleport. i also want my sleep schedule to go back to normal. yea baby

and i will tag not a single soul. i’m killing it,. i hate tagging people. you can o it if you want & tag gme bc i love you bye

[seven-oomen]

Okay, let’s see if I can make anything coherent out of this, even though I should really be going to bed. XD  Will try to break up the rambling as best I can for readability.

*MASSIVE WARNING FOR SPOILERS AHEAD!*

First off, jeebus christ that opening.  They did not even slightly play around about what to expect from this movie.  I was *WHEEZING* the whole time because my brain just playing that “I’M GONNA BEAT A MOTHERFUCKER, WITH ANOTHER MOTHERFUCKER” meme the whole goddamn time.  The moment when Wade straps on the claws and manages to use them was both horrifying and genius.  XD

Also, holy crap the levels of references and meta in this film.  (A friend actually sent me a YT video that covers ALL of the Easter eggs in the film, but I’ve not had time to watch it yet, as the only comment she added was “It’s LOOOONG”)  I keep telling the coworkers I’m trying to get to watch it that “It doesn’t so much break the fourth wall as nuke it from orbit."  XD  The comments about how you’d never know that Lady DP just had a baby, about Hugh’s divorce, all the stuff with the Legacy gang.  My favorite was probably the shop called Liefeld’s Just Feet from the end sequence, every time it popped up I had to choke down a cackle.  The callbacks to the old films, the recreations of popular cover art.  Just the sheer amount of research that went into this film was just *chef’s kiss*.  I’m sure there were things I missed because I’m not totally caught up on everything, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen some of it, and everything was just happening so much, but it doesn’t even matter because everything I did catch was amazing.  Also, very much appreciated the TVA agent who was clearly meant to represent all of us.  XD  Treasure that mask my dude.  (Funnily enough, I didn’t even know about that because I hadn’t really even seen all the trailers, I went into the film fairly blind.  Was DEFINITELY part of the cheering section when he pulled that on.  And then immediately knew I had a coworker who NEEDED to do that costume.  XD )

And, omfg, the CAMEOS.  I almost screamed so many times at some of the reveals.  I’d heard lots of speculation on who (actor) and who (character) might appear, but I knew there was no way all of it was going to be true, so I just let myself be surprised in the best ways.  The only one that we didn’t get that I saw people talking about that I wish had happened was Daniel Radcliffe as "Height-Appropriate Wolvie”, especially after some of the pics I’ve seen from that film where he has guns attached to his hands or whatever.  I think it would have been fun.  One that might have been cute would have been Taron Egerton as Patch, mostly because I occasionally see him mentioned as a possible future replacement for Hugh (even though he’s not 90 yet XD, and I don’t know that Taron has quite the feral quality the character needs), as well as a possible future Bond.  Also kinda hoped for Ice Man to pop up since Pyro was there, or for a possible Loki mention because of the TVA.  My mom said that RR’s kids all appeared in the film, but I haven’t had a chance to look into that yet (maybe Thor was crying because he stole his move XD ).

But without doubt I had three favorite cameos (listed in no particular order.)  When CEvans appeared I think the whole theater lost its collective mind.  Like, literally spontaneous cheering.  I kinda wondered a bit at first, because like, the facial hair, and he didn’t really have the Dorito shape going, but I’d also heard a little about the whole Nomad thing, but as soon as he pushed the hood back and I got a better look at the collar/shoulder of his outfit, my brain started up this slow “wait…WAIT…hold up, that looks like…” and then he says it and I started cackling like a fucking hyena.  That was a truly brilliant bit of misdirection.  (Side note, I assume you saw the end end credits scene?  XD  How much do you think he enjoyed that?)  On a somewhat related note, absolute props to Emma Corrin for being so believably James McAvoy’s sister.  And also hellaciously terrifying.

Shortest favorite cameo (but worth every moment), absolutely hands-down, The Cavill-rine.  I had heard people speculating he might pop up as various characters, but again, I wasn’t particularly expecting anything or anyone.  I could tell it was someone new from the beginning, but I wasn’t certain until he turned around and then there was a whole lot of screaming from a lot of different people.  I did appreciate the adaptation of his “arm-loading” maneuver from M:I for deploying the claws, I found it very effective (though maybe it was just the tank top XD )  I’ve seen some people saying that this could be a sign that he’ll be moving over to the MCU at some point now, which I have slightly complicated feelings on mostly just because the main character I could see him being used for is Captain Britain (which would be amusing because he’d have to go blond, and if anyone remembers Stardust that can be…tricky…  XD ), but I can’t stand CB, but he also leads my fave X-team so if he DID take that part maybe we’d get an Excalibur movie, which I would love.  Part of me would want RR involved with that, though, because I’d trust him to do Nightcrawler correctly, and make commentary about it when he does (also, I don’t know if they’ve actually interacted much/at all in the comics, but I feel like Wade would absolutely enjoy meeting a guy who not only also dual wields swords on occasion, but can actually triple wield because that tail is prehensile [and yes, I have indeed seen fic where he used his tail exactly the way Wade would imagine - often on Logan as it happens.  Ah, the lawless early days of fic found on people’s unregulated personal sites or behind AdultFanFic.com’s rather lax security protocols. XD ])  Uh…sorry, went a bit off topic there…

Lastly, but very certainly not least, I almost LOST MY SHIT when Channing Tatum strolled out.  Like barely restrained dolphin screeches and wriggly seat bouncing (I choose to believe they were mostly restrained at least.)  Gambit is probably my second favorite X-man, and I have been desperate to see him done justice in a film.  Ironically the only appearance he’s had was in the same dumpster fire that gave us our first “Deadpool”, and I’m pretty sure they didn’t even make sure he had the proper accent, which.  How very dare.  I’d heard mention of Tatum’s attempts to get a solo film made off and on, and now I’m even more disappointed it never happened because he was an absolute delight.  And they did such a good job showing how useful his powers can be in a fight (I may have been chanting “where tf is his bo staff?!” in my head when the fight began, then almost cheered when I saw him using it, shhh, don’t judge me.)  That whole thing with the Legacy gang was a hoot (loved “Elektra” not being upset about the lack of a “DD"  XD )

Okay, moving along (kinda?), to the main boys.  I feel like possibly one of the only ones who engages in the more shippy side of fandom culture who didn’t see the car scene as sex?  Like, I can see WHY so many people do, but I just didn’t even process it that way in the moment.  I feel like it’s possibly just one of those aspec confusion things where my brain just doesn’t tend to make that sort of assumption about interactions, coupled with my own personal opinion of Logan’s mental state at that point.  Like, I feel like it’s entirely probable that one or both of them got off at some point during the fight, but I don’t think they "fucked nasty in the Odyssey."  Wade would absolutely have been DTF, because he’s absolutely attracted to Logan (understandable), and also, it’s what he knows, it would have been an easy outlet for all the BIG EMOTIONS that just kept happening for him, but I feel like Logan wouldn’t have been, even if he was also interested, because at that point he was still so deep in his self-loathing that I don’t think he’d have allowed himself something "pleasurable” like that.  I mean, he’d get something very similar from a fight, but he wouldn’t have to acknowledge it the same way.  It felt more like a “I’m going to punch something until the screaming in my head stops because I’m now too sober to regulate my emotions properly” type of moment to me.

For similar reasons I wasn’t really all that surprised when they didn’t obviously get together at the end.  Now, if they hadn’t pulled that stupid shit with Wade and Vanessa, it would be a different story, but they needed to wrap up that drama first.  Fix what the idiot writers decided was necessary for “growth” or whatever, (even though I feel like Wade would have also been just as determined to save his universe if they were together, even if she was encouraging him to try to do more) before you expand things, as it were (which now that I think about it is rather similar to how I felt about the OG trio in Jurassic World: Dominion…  anyway…)  And I feel like Logan was just reaching the point of allowing himself to have friends and make connections again (because did I mis-hear, or was Cassandra implying he’d had to basically mercy kill some/most of them?  Because holy shit), I don’t know that he’d be at the point of actively pursuing anything yet, though.  Like, it almost felt like they’ve seen the potential in each other as a partner by the end, but weren’t quite in a place to do anything about it yet until they’d worked through some things first (which means the sequel needs to be a full on romance.)  Like, the most I might have expected given where they were (and also, y'know, Disney) would have been Logan just sort of casually throwing his arm around Wade’s shoulders, maybe a little kiss on the temple.  (In my defense I am weak for fluff.)

However, again, so much potential for places to go from there.  I feel like it might be a little awkward at first, because Wade might not really know quite what to DO here.  Like, flirting and sex are one thing, attempting an actual relationship are very much another (especially since he’s not 100% sure where Logan stands on polyamory, and would rather not accidentally offend the man he’s trying to woo.)  He has no doubts he could seduce Logan, but he LIKES him, and convincing him of that he’s less certain of.  And it’s not like it was with Vanessa, who was just as confident and forward about what she wanted as he was.  Logan is much more reserved, and still occasionally irritable, and Wade isn’t known for coming across as serious and sincere, even when he genuinely is.  And while Logan likes him, too, he’s still adjusting to this new reality, and getting a feel for how all the dynamics work in the group.  So they dance around each other for a little while, while Vanessa keeps encouraging him to “just ASK him already!"  And then when he finally does broach the idea, he finds out Logan is not only totally down, but "this ain’t my first rodeo, so to speak."  (So.  My thought process here is partially influenced by the whole thing in one of the comic runs where people were joking that he, Jean, and Scott were in a throuple because of some weird bedroom layouts.  [Sadly the artist eventually commented on it and said that they weren’t, although my first response in my head was "they could be if you weren’t a coward.”]  And the other part was because it had seemed a little odd to me that when Logan was telling Laura about what happened in his universe, he referred to Scott and Jean by name, and everyone else by codename.  Which probably doesn’t mean anything, but I decided it did.  The fact that they were trying to get him to join them could imply that he hadn’t known them long, but there’s also no reason they couldn’t have been encouraging him to join because they’d been dating for a while, too.)  Wade is like, immediately incensed about this (“why didn’t you tell me?!” “you never asked.”), because they apparently COULD have now been fucking nasty already.  Vanessa and Al both give him much crap about this (“Boy, I’m blind as shit and even I could see he was interested in you.”)  Also, I feel like Yukio would absolutely adore Logan, but can’t decide if Negasonic and him would get along like a house on fire, or if she’d be put off by how alike they are.  XD  Given his history with volatile young girls the odds are probably in his favor.  I mean honestly; Rogue, Jubilee, Kitty, Laura.  And being besties at various points with Wade, Kurt, Ororo, etc.  For a guy who so staunchly considers himself a loner he has quite the support network.  XD

…I feel like there were probably other things, but it’s almost two o'clock in the morning, and I open tomorrow.  Also, this is already hella long (again, my apologies, lol.)  Hopefully this mostly makes sense, and is at least somewhat of an enjoyable read.  Tbf, you did encourage me.  ;P  Anyway, hope you’re still doing well, and may the weather calm down soon.  Take care!  *HUGS!*

It is approaching 1 am where I’m at, so I’m gonna reply to some of this now and maybe to some of it later. I definitely think Logan had to mercy kill at least some of his teammates in his own universe. It’s heavily implied in my opinion. Which, ooofffff, man. No wonder he feels that much guilt and is that messed up. Oh Yukio absolutely adores Logan, I feel like she might just hug him one day and just says; I’m glad you joined the family. And Logan, the big fucking softy he is, just absolutely melts and adopts the girl on the spot. As for Ellie/Negasonic, I’d say there’s a lot of posturing at first between the two. With Logan just mostly being really confused by the way she’s acting, but eventually Logan wins her over and they get along splendidly after that. I do think Laura and Negasonic become instant besties. Which spells hell for anyone else involved because they are ferocious and MeanTM. I did write some premises down for a fic for them where they slowly get together, sticking to mostly canon, with some comic references thrown around. (Creatively working my way through the messy, messy timelines). https://www.tumblr.com/seven-oomen/757474833241096192/so-story-idea-for-deadpool-and-wolverine-obvious?source=share

I think the way I’d tackle their relationship is that they didn’t get together at the end of Deadpool 3 for exactly the reasons you list above. While I would have loved the movie that much more if they did, from a character standpoint I think both Wade and Logan have some shit to figure out until they get to that point. It’s fun to wish for it though.

Things it will feature and the premise: Omega Logan Wade is just Wade/Deadpool as we know him Dualsex Omegas from Logan’s universe Deadpool and Wolverine prequel/midquel/sequel Jimmy Hudson & Ellie are twins born of Logan and Wade (Ellie is loosely based of Eleanor Camacho) Trans Jimmy Hudson Laura Kinney is adopted into the family Slow burn Poolverine Wade has some kinky shit that really ends up helping Logan through his heat. Logan and Wade are bad at feelings Flashbacks to Logan’s life during weapon X and the X-men In Logan’s timeline he and Wade met during weapon X times, though back then nothing really came out of their relationship. Logan was very much under Victor’s thumb until the aftermath of Lagos where he and Victor were experimented on. Logan survived his experimentation, Victor didn’t. Which left Logan with some abandonment and bonding issues. Eventually Logan found his way to the X-mansion, and was taken in, though that too ended in tragedy by his own making. He didn’t join when his team needed him the most and paid for that decision by losing everything. He even had to put Jean, Scott, and the professor out of their misery in the end. After that faithful night, the hunt for mutants in his universe began, with him being one of the few survivors of the purge. By the time Wade pulls him out of his own universe to act as an anchor being for his, guilt and anger are eating away at him. After shit goes down, and he realizes there’s no way back, Logan tries his best to settle back into civilian life with Wade and the rest of the family. Things get incredibly complicated when Logan’s heat hits with lasting consequences for the newly formed family.

I’m working out the kinks in this stage and figuring out the tone of the story. Would love to read your thoughts though :)

[katesadventureworld]

    The Grinder Experience

** DISCLAIMER this blog features topics words and language that may not be suitable for under 18s adult supervision advised.**

Hey boos…  so, this was meant to be a sort of lighthearted look into the world of using Grinder and other dating apps. but recently I’ve been hit with a reminder to why so many people like myself find it hard to find dates, or struggle with there mental health…

Before we get into that let me explain Grinder! I’ve been on grinder on and off for quite a number of years now in that time I’ve made 2 friends and had to block at least 200 people…. so why is this? Well in general My experience with grinder had been full of fake profiles creepy old guys and people who want to blind date apparently. ( There profile has NO photos and they then send a dick pic as an opening… ew.) It’s an extremely frustrating app trying to find someone close by and who is genuine. (I’m also very fussy. so that doesn’t help me personally) Though on occasion there are some lovely people who pop up who just want to chat or leave a really nice complement even though they know they aren’t what I’m looking for.  But for the most half I’m bombarded with messages such as ( And these are genuine messages) “ Fuck me ur hot I’d deffo smash ur tight little pussy” “come sit on daddys lap baby ill show you a good time” or my personal dis-favorite “Wow your hot Ide deffo bend you over with my hand on your throat and fill you up with my cum then eat your ass out you want that baby “ Safe to say anyone who sends me those as opening lines get blocked instantly like WHY would you send messages like that sometimes accompanied with the worst dick pics I’ve ever seen as an opening WHO IS THIS WORKING ON! Its so distasteful and disrespectful and makes the App a vile place to be.

Before I move on to the competitors (Tinder POF Hinge and Badoo ) lets address my biggest issue with dating apps, Mainly Grinder and why this isn’t the light hearted look I wanted it to be.

You see, I identify as a “Trans woman” as this is easier to explain my situation (Please read my previous Blog “Me and Him” for more..) This can give some people easy ammo to use if I ignore them or simply don’t reply and delete there messages, it seems if you don’t reply they take it as I must try again and again and each time get a little bit more ruder, in the past I’ve been called all sorts and perhaps there is another blog in there somewhere about that, But just today as I write this post I was on grinder checking my messages and I received a message from a guy I simply didn’t reply too from 2 days ago, - I’ve been busy!  So his simple way of getting my attention and ending our chat was this. again, this Is a genuine message “ You are an arrogant man” now, Those who know me know I simply do not and will not accept any slander like this aimed at me or to anyone I know that said this hit me hard I’m already struggling with my MH at the moment although I don’t talk about it, so this comment has sent me into a spiral.  I AM NOT A MAN. IM NOT MANLY IM NOT A CROSSDRESER I AM NOT A TRANSVESTITE I AM A WOMAN.  I do constantly worry that I don’t look beautiful or feminine enough something that’s led me to hide away at home rather than go out shopping this week or do something I wanted to do which was write up some blogs in a coffee shop for a change of scene. I’ve been unable to be free due to my own thoughts getting to me so when I received this message I just wanted to try and scream at them Ironically I did reply with “WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME” and before I had a chance to get a reply or block them they had blocked me, so I guess I won without trying but this isn’t the first comment of this type I’ve got on this app, And although its slowed down a lot it still happens and it’s really not right in this day an age..

It’s only fair I now delve into the other apps I use So how do the other apps compare with grinder?

-Tinder … YAWN… same type of “Fuck boys” over and over I’m tired of swiping left! But those who I have matched with seem genuine with only one “Bott” now and again but they are so easy to figure out and block it doesn’t affect the overall experience of swiping left.. 3/10

-Badoo …. Notification central… and my god it’s a bit weird it had the same features as tinder with more options to see people and chat or send likes on their photos, but it just seems a little confusing like do people see the likes or what?? You also can’t message unless you match so what’s the point of being able to see them off the swipe feature?  So far seem like lots of genuine people on there and although I don’t think I’ll find Mr/Mrs/Them/There Right I think it’s a great place to make friends. BUT MY GOD ARE THE NOTIFICATIONS ANNOYING!  1/10

-  POF… Perhaps the most legendary app who hasn’t been on it right! Well, it seems to have died off almost completely, The old features I once enjoyed are gone, and the profiles seem to be people who forgot to delete them! shame as it could be good but they ruined it ,  1/10

- Hinge … well they say in there marketing it’s the app designed to be deleted.  YES it sure is get it in the bin its awful. You get like 5 likes a day.  There is so many tabs at the bottom that seem to do nothing to help you find someone it really is crap. 0/10 would not recommend.

And as for grinder….. Well, what can I say, its got me some attention and I’ve met up with one bad person. (currently writing that blog but its very hard to write.)  but also met up with a handful of respectable people I’ve had fun with. It’s not an app I want to use. But at the same time where would I be without it, I check it daily and nothing ever changes, 5/10 for me…  

With all of this said I am still trying to find genuine people to date but I’m so exhausted with it all. And must add that if I get ANY messages from people on grinder that do not match what I’m looking for to save the hassle of potential spam/ Hate messages I do block them straight away… maybe one day ill find an app that works or who knows meet someone who makes me want to never use them again!

Thanks for reading boos be great to know what you think of my blogs and what you experiences on apps have been I’ve been Katie-Mae Ellis and this has been a Kates adventures blog.

[stormy333]

Heart Break Queen

Writing this one isn’t like writing Texas and JC. It’s difficult… Even more so than writing about Casanova. He was the first person I truly could see a future with. He was also a test. He taught me that what I believed at the time was actually my true belief. He brought me down a path I never saw myself going down before him.. he was who I truly thought was my very breath.

West.

We met on March 6, 2019. It sounds cliche but he had me at hello. It was almost midnight. We met on this app and he messaged me and we were talking about simple things like where we were from and our families and stuff like that. Then we started flirting a bit. We stayed up really late that night talking. I was going to a new doctor the next day and was nervous and talking to him was awesome. It was like an instant click. To good to be true? I was questioning it a lot, but soon stopped questioning as much.

Anyway as the conversation continued on the first night we were sending winky faces back and forth which lead to me cracking a joke about my real wink. Which is HORRIBLE. And he asked if I had snap because he wanted to see for himself. So I gave him my snap. He added me. I sent a video of my horrid wink and he responded with “you’re so adorable” and I ask him if I could curse, because I didn’t want to offend him if he didn’t curse or anything like that. He said he didn’t care and I said “how the hell is that adorable?!?” with a few laughing emojis and it was all over from there.

We talked all the time. ALL THE TIME. We were on separate schedules though, key word being “were” I lived to talk to him. All I cared about was him. It didn’t matter to me that we were talking about something I didn’t want to talk about all the time. So I would always be on my phone, and when I wasn’t talking to him I was sad or mad.

About two days in the conversation turned from regular “mundane” life things to sexual things. He was not my first exposure to having things sexualized but he was the first I allowed and continued talking to. He started to ask me to send pics, I was skeptical but also 15 year old brain thinks wild things. So I kept pushing it off and expressing my worries. But he kept denying all of my worries and fears with “I’m different, I won’t leave, I love everything about you.” Oh and then my personal favorite “I love you.”

Growing up I’d always say “No guy will ever play me. He’ll NEVER get that close to my heart to take it.” Here’s the thing. He did. Because it’s true that at fifteen you will almost definitely do anything if someone says they love you.

Rules are meant to be broken right? Because then we learn why they are there in the first place. Beliefs are similar. Many of us were given values that were instilled in us as younglings but in order to truly know what we ourselves believe and feel we must break those values right? Make a mistake or two to learn because that is how you learn. to know what we believe and how we truly feel, and what our true values are. Well that’s exactly what I did. I broke my rules and truly let someone have all of me when I swore that would never happen. I say that because it’s important for what follows. I was young and in love. Laugh if you want but I was. I would do anything for him and well this is the story.

At fifteen I started sending pics though. Against my gut and going for what my heart wanted because what my heart wanted, wants those pictures so hey it’s all okay. That’s how I justified it. That and I’ve always tried to break the stigma of being a “goodie two shoes” so I was rebelling against the label given to me a long while ago I was proving something to myself or so I thought.

It started with one bra pic I said I wasn’t comfortable with this crap, that I’m not comfortable with my body. “I love you though, I wanna see more.” Of course I was flattered he was seriously every bit of my type. Tall 5’9, really gorgeous brown hair in the “baby justin” hair style, brown eyes and my god that jaw line was seriously so AMAZING. And he WANTED me?!?! Heck yeah I was about to do anything to keep him. I know it’s dumb. But I seriously LOVED him with everything in me and he consumed my whole body and mind he was my very breath, so to me all that mattered was his happiness. If that made him happy well I could deal with a little discomfort. So I continued sending. And I also continued to TRY to have our deep conversations and get the topic on anything besides sex.

I kept track of how many days we knew each other mentally because I’m the kinda girl that celebrates every victory. And I was desperate to know more about him it felt like he knew everything about me but I knew nothing about him. It started to get a little stressful and started to wear on me. Our one month anniversary of knowing each other was a day before my sixteenth birthday. I remember telling him that the only thing that could have made that day any better was if he were actually physically with me. I wanted to call more we had only talked on the phone once and it wasn’t long and he didn’t really talk. But to me that was the greatest however long it was. I always question if he was really into me. But chose to give him the benefit of the doubt because he still talked to me, he “loves me”, and he wants me, right? Listen I was EXTREMELY doubtful all through those three months, my best friend can attest and so can my diary. But I truly LOVED him. I could NOT deny that. It was a lethal love. Pretty similar to Casanova. (There’s a reason I can’t allow myself to be with Casanova.)

These things all continued for a total of 2 months and 6 days March 6 to May 12 which was the last time we had a conversation well not exactly. And I had asked “what we were” multiple times because guys had asked me out and I was unsure how to respond, he would never answer me but always said not to flirt around and such. So I was taken but not really. All was confusing and weird. It might not seem like that big of a deal but I don’t know it started to bug me. And around May 12 he got what he actually wanted. Not just a bra pic. And shortly after he ditched and took my heart with him. We (my family and I) tried to justify it, maybe he was grounded, maybe he wasn’t supposed to have the accounts? I was worried from what he did tell me about his home life it was rocky, I’ve seen some rough stuff with friends’ home lives so my brain tortured me. And occasionally the thought of being played crossed my mind and also the idea that I had been cat fished came in my mind for point five seconds but smashed it. I lost control of myself. I didn’t care anymore I broke one rule for him and he left me so the body that I already hated I started to hate more. And I started to disrespect it more. I started to send more to more guys not caring I was going down a very destructive path. My mental health was spiraling, my spiritual health was to, and my physical health well that was in a bit of a pickle because I was working out A LOT which was good but I was over working. And I wasn’t eating properly which I don’t in general but it gets worse when I spiral. It was all over for me. To me he was everything. I loved him more than myself. He led me to 3 “boyfriends” two of which I dumped after a day and I know you’re thinking that’s cruel but I messed up. I shouldn’t have led them to believe I was ready and wanted to be in a relationship at all or one with them when I didn’t want a long distance relationship as I now have even more trust issues than before. But the other one was different and I’m glad to say he’s still my best friend and has helped me through a lot.

Long story summarized West if you ever read this thank you for what you taught me.

As for you guys look even if you think it’s dumb it’s not it’s how you feel. Even if you think you aren’t worthy you are. But here’s the thing Love you have to work towards loving yourself. It’s not selfish to say no. And it isn’t going to be perfect. Even if you can just get to the “hey I’m not that bad of a person” stage it’s somewhere. Progress, not perfection. It’s honestly the most heaven-shaking statement.

[zekeyspaceylizard]

Grief is a hell of a drug.

There was a time when I was younger that I didn’t think internet friends were as important as real life ones. Then I met Oliver. Oliver was a fan of mine from the old Newgrounds and AlbinoBlackSheep days. We met on steam and got along well. Very well, in fact. We had similar senses of humor, and many of my favorite jokes and memes and gags came from him. He lived in the UK and I lived in the US and we talked via Steam for years and later, when it was available, Discord.

Oliver was like a brother to me. We talked about frustrations and pain in our lives we didn’t share with anybody else. We’d theorycraft about updates to DOTA2 and other games we liked to play. Discuss stupid crap in pop culture and shoot the shit for hours. Oliver always believed in me and, like many of my other online friends, never quite understood why I’ve become such an unlucky massive disappointment as an adult, potential all squandered. He always told me he wished our lives were better. So we could both be happy.

He’d send me music sometimes for bands I’d never heard of, introducing me to things I’d never experienced. Through him I started to realize that he was just as important to me as any real life friends I’d had. Even more so in many cases as many of them got older and found success and moved on with careers of their own, while I continued to struggle here and make something of myself.

He was there to console me when I had my nervous breakdown in 2009 that lead me into a deep depression. He was there to cheer me up when I turned 30 years old and was depressed again. He never got a chance to turn 30.

A bit over a year ago he was feeling poorly and saw a doctor and learned he had lymphoma. The prognosis was good and he felt confident he’d beat it. He’s show me photos of the giant ghastly lumps on his skin where his lymph nodes used to be. And I hoped and prayed to whatever I could that it would all go well and he’d recover and have a normal life. But I wouldn’t be writing all this if that were the case.

A couple weeks ago he had lost the ability to walk properly due to developing anasarca as well. It made him unable to visit family in Germany which broke him as he wanted to see them one last time. His last couple of big outings was meeting his boyfriend in the US and later attending a Newgrounds meetup where he got to hang out with Luis, another Newgrounds animator he was friends with. He was in bad shape at that point, a bag of fluid around his heart mutating into a giant growth that protruded from his chest. But even that he took lightly and would crack jokes about. He was just that kinda guy.

Over the years I had drawn stuff for him, usually involving his beloved orange tabby cat, whom he had raised from a kitten. The week he had learned he had lymphoma, that cat was hit by a car and killed. He grieved for it a lot. He loved that cat and would send me pics of it all the time. I even painted that cat as a kaiju once, lording over a city. That illustration is lost to time. I wish I’d kept it.

The one bright spot was months later he found an abandoned black kitten and adopted it. It was one of the few positive things in his life anymore.

As his condition grew worse, I asked him a handful of times if he wanted me to draw or paint him anything to cheer him up. As an artist it was all I could really do for the guy. I’d have donated my own lymph nodes or heart to him if I could have, but such things arent possible. About a week ago he finally had a request. He wanted me to paint something from the game Jet Set Radio and Jet Set Radio Future, which were two of his favorites as a kid. He was eager to try out Bomb Rush Cyberfunk since it looked like a spiritual revival of that series.

So I painted like a madman. Painted as hard as I could, sleeping little, hoping to make something he would love. His birthday would have been last Thursday, just a couple days ago. At around 1 am, the night prior, I sent him the painting. He was offline, which struck me as odd. He was one of those guys who was always connected to the web, usually playing Runescape. It was ominous.

Then 24 hours passed, with him neither online on Discord or Steam. I had a bad feeling that he was already gone. And learned hours later, from his other friend Luis, this was indeed the case.

My beloved friend Ollie died the night I finished his birthday gift. He never got a chance to see it. He never got to celebrate one last birthday. I wish I’d sent the unfinished version when I had the chance. I wish I could have made him happy, even for a little bit, in the multitude of ways he often brightened my days.

But it won’t happen now. It’s a very strangling feeling. Like someone has wrapped razor wire around my throat and is winding it tighter and tighter. All we needed was one more day. Not a lot to ask for, in the grand scheme of things.

There’s not much more else to say so I’ll end this with a link to a video he and I used to reference all the time. A cartoon we often chuckled at, and one of his favorites. We Get The Night.

Rest in Peace, Ollie. You absolute lad. You beautiful bastard. I hope if there’s a heaven that you save me a seat, man.

[bacarasbabe]

I finally got around to making the graphic for this! Anyway, thank you all again so much. This is a huge milestone that I never really saw myself achieving. Mostly because I didn't plan to start writing fanfiction again, let alone post it online. But I'm glad that I did because it's given me the opportunity to make wonderful friends. So to celebrate and to say thank you, I'll be making moodboards and custom reaction pics for any of my followers! The cut-off for requests will be January 23rd. The rest of the info that you'll need is below the cut!

Rules for Requests:

You gotta be following me

You must be at least 18 years old

All requests must be sent via asks. Please don't dm me with requests!

If you send me a request on anonymous, please sign with an emoji in case I need to ask you a question!

Everyone gets one reaction pic and one moodboard at most. If you don't want one thing, that's fine. Like if you only want the reaction pic and not the moodboard (or vice-versa).

For your personal reaction image, just tell me your favorite Star Wars character and your favorite color!

Moodboards:

I won't do any for fics at this time. Unfortunately, I just don't have the time to read multiple fics that aren't already on my reading list. But here's the styles I will do.

Personal Vibes: Send me a brief description about yourself, your favorite color, your hobbies, what you look like, your gender identity, anything uniquely you, and I'll make you a moodboard inspired by that!

OR

Character based: Send me your favorite Star Wars character and I'll make you a moodboard based on just them or on the two of you together. If you want it based on both of you, just tell me what you want the relationship to be between you and the character of your choice. Such as: friends, siblings, enemies, lovers, co-bounty hunters, you get the idea. I can also make the moodboard showing a date between you and your character of choice! Just make sure to tell me a little about yourself so I can get it personalized the best I can.

Thank you all again. I really do appreciate every single one of you!

[copias-thrall]

How would Mary goore react to hurting someone he genuinely cares about? I absolutely Love your writing!💕

Hello, nonny! Thank you, I love this ask!

This was going to be  alist, but it got away from me! 😅 

Enjoy 😘 

It wasn’t anything big.

Just a few of Mary’s favorite beers (the craft kind—not the shitty beer he drank on his shoestring budget), some of that chronic shit you’d scored and have been saving for a special occasion, and a VHS box set of horror movie classics.

***

Mary comes in and out of your life at will, and that was something you accepted—knowing he was As Is or not at all. And honestly—no, really—you liked that. You had your own shit going on, and being Mary’s expected caregiver was NOT something you wanted to add to that list.

(If someone else wanted to try to tame him and pick up after him, well…kudos to them. Less work for you.)

Mary showed up on your pivotal days and he rubbed your feet and always invited you out to trivia. You'd held him when he was coming down from a bad trip and listened to his grievances and gave him a place to stay when he was persona non grata at his own. And in a way, that made you always feel like #1 in Mary’s world…and that was good enough for you.

***

A few months ago, Mary had been lying on your couch, picking the label off his beer bottle.

“I’m gonna be away for a bit,” he’d said.

“Oh?” you’d responded as you’d mashed the controls on your gaming controller.

“Yeah. I mean, I’ll be around…but I got some shit going on.”

You’d paused your game.

“Bad shit?”

He’d waved you off.

“Neg. Just tryna get myself out there. Signed up for open mics and shit.”

He’d shifted, his long legs receding from around you and folding under him.

“So, like…I got my job at the bowling alley…but nights and weekends are kinda shot.”

You’d tried not to let the disappointment show on your face. You supported Mary’s dreams, and that meant not making an issue that he was finally trying to do something about them.

This wasn’t against you. It was for him.

When you’d taken too long to respond, his face had scrunched.

“But if you want—”

“It’s fine, Mare,” you’d said as you’d made yourself smile. “This is important to you, so it’s important to me.”

You’d unpaused your game.

“Just don’t expect me to not beat this game without you.”

He’d grabbed the controller out of your hands with a snarl, causing you to cry out when you died.

“Fuck the game.” His hand had fisted your shirt. “Give me a night to remember.”

You had. Twice.

***

Mary had texted you occasionally over the next few weeks—a few memes, a few drunken key-smashes, a dick pic, and 2 grainy videos of his performances for critique—but such contact was sporadic, and you’d never seen him in real-time. 

He’d blown in one night, five weeks in, with a box of pizza just as you'd been heading out to meet your crew. When you’d told him you’d made plans, he’d looked so crestfallen that you’d caved and canceled on them.

While he’d been there, he’d given you a date in 3 weeks.

“That Saturday I have nowhere to be,” he’d said as he’d chewed. “I can spend the whole day with you.”

You’d been careful not to seem too eager.

“Oh yeah? Should I plan shit?”

He’d crammed the whole crust into his mouth and had given you a doughy grin.

“Why ’’ya think I told you?”

You didn’t know what you’d expected, but when he’d had to bounce 90min later, you were still surprised. (That was hardly enough time to digest!)

“Sorry,” he’d winced. “I gotta be on a bus in 45min.”

He’d left, and you’d been too embarrassed to join your friends who were only just going to the second bar.

Having fun with your man ;) ? one of your friends had texted.

What do you think? You’d texted back before changing into your pjs and turning on Netflix.

***

So maybe you were low-key excited about your day with Mary.

Perhaps you’d spent those 3 weeks figuring out the perfect date—something that said, “I missed you,” without saying “But in a clingy way.”

Beer and horror were two things the both of you were totally into, and you knew he’d be exhausted, so it seemed perfect. You’d bought the boxed set off of eBay and splurged for expedited shipping; you’d borrowed your brother’s old dual TV/VCR from his college days; and you’d forgone your weekly Chinese takeout for the craft beer funds. (And if things got steamy, well…even better.) 

***

A few days before The Date, you’d run into Mary on the bus. You were coming home from a shift, and he was going to his.

He’d brightened and waved you over—as if you weren’t already on your way—and you’d plopped down beside him with a tired grin. You’d told him of the latest entitled asshole, and he’d showed you another clip of him on guitar.

Before your stop had come up, you’d tentatively placed your hand over his.

“We still on for Saturday?”

He’d blinked at you a few moments before grinning.

“Yeah.”

“Should I plan a whole day for us, then?”

His arm had crept around your shoulders before pulling you into him to kiss your temple.

“Yeah, why not.”

***

That morning, you wake up happy. 

Mary will be over soon.

You roll over and grab your phone.

When should I expect you? :-* 

It takes him an hour to respond. You aren’t surprised—Mary isn’t known for being a morning person—so when your phone dings, you grab it up excitedly.

An excitement that dies when you read his text. And reread. And re-reread.

not 2day 

goin upste 2 show 

You blink.

What show? Didn’t we confirm? 

yeah. got me thinkin 

why no show? 

so i chked 

i missed one 

gotta do it 

Rage blooms hot, then cold behind your eyes and down your cheeks.

But you said we had the whole day. I made plans. 

save em 

ths is impt 2 me 

We’ve had this planned for weeks. 

i thot u suprted me 

on a bus cnt tlk 

You send a few more irate texts, but he doesn’t respond, and you toss your phone across the room with a shout of frustration. You scrub the hot tears from your eyes before they can fall.

And…on paper, Mary isn’t wrong. Nothing you had planned won’t keep: movies, beer, takeout.

But…

It gives you a stark look at what you mean to Mary. He gave you this date and confirmed it. He knew you were making plans.

How long was he going to wait to tell you he wasn’t even in the city anymore?

You fight the urge to kick the VHS tapes across the floor, but you open the fridge and grab a beer. If Queen Elizabeth could have beer for breakfast, then it was good enough for you.

Once you’ve downed all eight, you move on to the jug of vodka you keep for cleaning.

When you empty only liquid from your stomach into the toilet, you grab your frozen fries out of the freezer. You roll a handful of the cold ones in your mouth as you wait for the others to crisp in the oven, and once you’ve consumed the cooked ones, you go right back to the vodka.

***

Opening your eyes the next morning is a mistake, so you take a few deep breaths and go back to sleep.

When you wake again, your heart is fluttering, your stomach turns, and it feels like there’s an ice pick behind one eye. Shuffling slowly, you make your way out to your kitchen where you take some painkillers, drink some pickle juice, and eat two slices of plain bread.

The sense that you did something awful stays with you, but you’re in no condition to find your phone and see what you’ve done. Instead, you go back to bed. It takes more deep breathing to settle yourself, but once you do fall asleep, you’re out for hours.

You don’t feel amazing when you swim to consciousness again, but you feel at least like a human being. 

Your phone is dead when you find it under the sink, and waiting the 5 or so minutes for it to charge feels like waiting to face the executioner.

It’s both better and worse than you expected.

You breathe a sigh of relief to see that there are no vague social media posts, and you didn’t drunk dial any of your friends, but…

The texts to and from Mary are ugly.

Apparently, you’d managed not to send him angry texts until he’d sent you another clip of his performing. But then the floodgates had opened.

You’d started with telling him you didn’t give a shit about the show, how he was an inconsiderate ass, and then you'd devolved into incomprehensible, typo-ridden texts that accused him of using you, that you were only something to do when he didn’t have anything better to do, that he was an entitled man-child and if he didn’t apologize, you were done.

Mary’s texts in response range from him being angry at your disregard, to heated retorts you were blowing this out of proportion (and he didn’t appreciate your “ad hominem” attacks), to a cool detachment that this wasn’t working over text and he’d finish this in person.

You put your head in your hands but are too dehydrated to cry.

***

Mary doesn’t text you again during his self-imposed time frame.

You don’t text him either, but that’s more out of self-preservation than pride. There’s no point exacerbating the situation…and you’re pretty sure there’s no coming back from this, so why speed up the inevitable?

The horror tapes taunt you every time you walk by them, and you wonder if you can return them (you can’t). You give the TV back to your brother, and when he asks you how it went, you plaster a smile on your face and say, “Great!” with forced enthusiasm you hope comes across as genuine.

The primo weed goes over to your friend’s house, and the two of you wax poetic all night about existential claptrap as you devour two cheese pizzas and a bag of bbq chips. You talk about Mary without talking about Mary, and you get a heartfelt, “Sorry, dude.”

You beat the video game anyway, but it’s mostly because you needed something to occupy your mind and less out of spite (though that’s there as well).

***

Despite waiting on tenterhooks to hear anything from Mary, you truly don’t really expect to. You know you’d been atrocious, even if it had been prompted by his careless disregard, and you know Mary isn’t really the kind of guy that troubles himself with relationships that are hard.

Not that you’re in a relationship.

So when there’s a knock on your door a week later and Mary’s behind it, you’re genuinely surprised.

You gape through the peephole in shock.

“Fuck. If you’re there, just let me in, ok?”

Fumbling with the chain, you unlock the door and crack it open.

“Mary?”

“You gonna let me in?” he rasps.

You shrug and step away from the door, and he shuffles inside. He looks around like you’ve changed anything (you haven’t), before turning around to face you.

You close the door and stare back.

He folds his arms. “Breaking up with someone over text is tacky.”

What you think is, So you’ve come to do it in person, but what you say is, “Can’t break up if you’re not together.”

He winces and runs his fingers through his hair. 

“Yeah…apparently I’ve ‘taken advantage' of you.”

This…isn’t what you’re expecting.

“I…what?”

“Can we sit down?”

You nod, and Mary sits rigidly on the edge of your couch. You curl up in the chair on the opposite side.

He rubs his palms down his greasy jeans before he speaks.

“I mean…you pissed me off, ok?”

You nod.

“But, like—you weren’t wrong, ok? I kinda knew that deep down, but I’m a dumbass, you know?”

You don’t nod.

“And I kinda bitched about the whole thing…but the resounding response was that I was the asshole.”

He angles his body toward you.

“I guess I’ve kinda been treating you like my best friend that I fuck sometimes.”

Your entire face flushes—you’d always thought you’d maybe ranked a little higher than that—and you duck your head so he can’t see the tears that you blink back.

There’s a swish of fabric, and you startle hard when Mary’s hand is at your chin. He jerks back with a Sorry.

“Shit—that’s not what I…” he blows out a breath and puts his hands behind his head before looking back up at you.

“But you aren’t, and…fuck this is harder than I thought.”

So this is it.

Waiting for him to do the deed is clearly going to be excruciating, so you take charge of this whole shit-show.

“I understand,” you say flatly.

“You do?”

“It’s ok, Mare-Mary. It’s my own fault for reading too much into it. I just…I saw what I wanted to see, I guess. I know you don’t need…” you look down into your lap, “…my shit in your life.

He makes a noise low in his throat, and then he’s squatting in front of you, his hot hands planting on your knees.

“But I want your shit in my life.”

You squint your eyes at him.

“But what I said…”

He grasps your hands in his.

“Pissed me off, yeah…cuz I wasn’t fucking thinking, ok? You’re like one of the only people who gives a crap about what’s important to me. And all I could see was you suddenly…not.”

Anger wells up in you again, and you yank away your hands.

“Weeks, Mary…weeks of you all over the tri-state area, and you thought I didn’t care because of one night?! A night you promised to me?”

He sits back on his heels. “I know…fuck. Ok? At the time, it just felt…like the show couldn’t be rescheduled. Our night could.”

Because you’re what he does when he’s bored.

You curl in on yourself.

“Shit.” He leans forward again. “Fuck, I’m sorry, ok? I’m fucking on my knees here.”

You blink at him. 

What? 

“Please, please don’t break—say we’re done.”

“What?”

“Look, we can go into my shitty fucking psychological profile on why I fuck around later…but right now I need you to know that I knew it was you before I fucking knew it was you.”

You uncurl.

“That…’what’ was me?”

He knees forward and presses your hands to his face.

“The one I wanna spend my free time with. The one whose opinion means the most. The one who was the first person I wanted to share all my good shit with. You’re the one I missed, and—after that awful fucking night—everything felt pointless because I knew I couldn’t come over and jam about it.”

“Mare—what are you saying?”

“I’m saying I’m a fucking dumbass. I’m saying I thought I was pissed at you, but I was pissed at myself for fucking it up.” He sighs. “I’m saying no fucking one was on my side and they all told me to get my shit together.”

He looks up at you with wide eyes, and for the first time, you can see how they’re outlined in red, his subtle crow’s feet more pronounced.

“So, you’re not done with me? I’m not…too much trouble?”

He shakes his head in disbelief. “What? Shit, no. I’m asking you to not be done with me. I’ll give you all the nights you want. Fucking text me, and my ass’ll be here posthaste.” He shifts up, and his thumb ghosts over your lips. “Anything to get you to give me that secret smile again.”

“Secret smile?” you ask while trying to perform the action.

Mary actually blushes.

“Uh…yeah. You get this…” he makes a motion across his face, “…when you’re giving it back to me.” His fingers shove back through his hair as he casts his eyes down. “You don’t give it to anyone else.” He rubs the back of his neck. “I’ve made a study of it.”

You’re a swirl of emotions. Mary’s apologized—has admitted he was wrong and has asked for…more—but you’re still hurt. And embarrassed.

But he’s looking up at you with wet, hopeful eyes.

“Do you…” you start carefully, “…do you know why I got so mad?”

That statement was clearly not what he was expecting, and he blinks at you a few times before nodding and looking down at the floor.

“I made a…uh, commitment…to you. And I treated it like it didn’t mean anything.”

He gives you a look like, Did I get it right? and that’s close enough—even if he’s missing some of the nuance.

You nod. “And I know I…wasn’t…the best.”

His face contorts, and your heart sinks.

“You…” he shakes his head. “You said some awful things…some hurtful shit—and it really got in my head.”

Mary gives you a complicated look.

“Shit that you’d been pissed about for a while.” He traces your knee. “Shit you could’ve said to me…but shit I should have noticed. Fuck.” He presses his forehead into your knees, and you can’t stop yourself from sinking your fingers into his hair.

He takes it as encouragement and presses into you before looking up again.

“I just kinda wanna put that whole night behind us. It feels like a fucking ouroboros of fault. And like maybe I created it. But let’s agree to like…not do that again.”

You look down at him, and his eyes search your face.

“Ok…but what does all this mean, Mare? I can’t…I need to be something to you, ok? More than just your friend.”

Mary nods emphatically, and he takes your hand and curls his into it.

“No more fuck-ups, and no one else…can we start there?”

He’s saying all the right words, but you’re still trepidatious—you know Mary, and he doesn’t like constraints.

“I…just…how can I believe you?”

He shakes his head like he can’t believe you even have to ask. He rises and awkwardly reaches out to touch your face before drawing his hand back.

“Cuz you’re important to me. I care about you, and I don’t want to lose you. Ever.”

And yeah. Ok.