#i should also go eat smth

[yet-to-be-seagrass]

I just want to cuddle...

My body can't handle others

My stomach is too sensitive to even have a hand ghosting over it, much less allow for someone's arm to be draped across it

I choke when someone's arm is under my clavicle, above my breast

My boobs, tender and aching half the time, are better by a bit, but sometimes an arm at the wrong angle pierces bluntly

Not low enough and I'll need to piss

Too low and they might get uncomfortable

Perhaps the simple and true answer is that my body hates me

Perhaps it's my fault

Perhaps I am not to be cuddled, though I so yearn and beg

Perhaps I'm not to be clung to, though I so cling to others, loving and pleading for the same

Perhaps my organs do not belong in me because they deny me physical affection; my favorite

Perhaps I should sit in the corner and joke and smile and tell, though I'd much rather show for showing transcends words, so long as it's unnderstood

Perhaps it's another sign that this body, while useful and a nice avatar, isn't mine and that I don't belong in it

[mumblesplash]

the fact that doctors can just Recommend Weight Loss with no instructions beyond ‘eat healthier/less’ is actually insane to me, i lost weight on purpose ONCE and it took me like 6 years to recover a semi-normal relationship with food and hunger

[skitskatdacat63]

Here is a badly drawn comic of my terrible, awkward group project experience from yesterday. I thought it was very absurd so I wanted to share it other people lol :)

Let me know, how do you find their conduct 😭

[mooodyblue]

so sorry for disappearing :( i miss yall lots. i open tumblr every day and think ill finally reply to people and reply to asks but then i just don't do it. i feel bad that i always have to come here and apologize (even though i know i shouldn't have to or feel the need to) and i always feel like im being down 24/7 /:

truthfully i stepped away because my depression has been at it's worst and everything is beginning to feel like a chore and i don't want to bring that energy here at all :(

i miss you guys and i'm going to try and get my shit together soon and reply to everyone. hope everyone is well ❤️

[shalpilot]

[bunnihearted]

🐇☀️☁️🍦

[toytulini]

god I know this is like The Wrong Stance on AI. I know its not about whether the art is Real and Human or If It Has A Soul and how a lot of the arguments against it are the same bullshit arguments people made against digital art like I Know. I Knowwww. but god, I'm really sorry, not to post like one of those annoying poetry bloggers I cant stand (yall are valid, live your truth, theres nothing wrong with what you post I'm just a petty bitch who hates poetry. unless I dont hate it.)

But theres just something about the way AI art will almost certainly never be able to mimic the exact way my pencil leaves an indentation in the paper, the way some of the lines I can never fully erase cause I pressed too hard, theyll have to at least train them to draw with a physical pencil first, and sure, they could train it to draw with a pencil and even erase the exact same piece I drew, line for line, on a piece of paper with a robot arm powered by AI, but they can't replicate. idk. the lineage of lefty bitches in my family, and the way I grew up going through school with my entire left arm silver with graphite, from doodling on my schoolwork. not yet anyway. but I guess I do live for the day we make the ai sentient enough that we can traumatize it by giving it homework after kneecapping its executive functions so it copes by drawing a big tiddy lobster monster. sure

[possum-tooth]

ren fair today :)

[enchantingruinscandy]

having one social media you often spend time on can be a good thing. like when i've spent all day on tumblr and all i want to do is spend more time on tumblr. the problem being that ive already seen all the new posts. that 5 minute scroll is not worth my time. so i log off and i do other things while thinking about being on tumblr. then i log back on and make a post about how i want to waste the rest of my day on tumblr

[teenageukulelescreamo]

the feeling of realizing you have stopped caring about someone who hurt you is kind of amazing

(sorry the tags are extremely long and where i really rambled and then started plugging my friends @'s bc i love them)

[cinnamon-bunni]

NOT okay right now im thinking abt pokemon leaving scars on their trainers + everyday, domestic problems.....

[orcelito]

Gencon is very busy...!!!

Ummmmm highlights of the day..!!!

I maybe bought 4 Naruto figurines. Thankfully not individually expensive (though perhaps a little expensive all together...) see I wanted Sasuke but I also wanted Kakashi and I couldn't have Sasuke without Naruto and well it would feel wrong to have the 3 of them without Sakura and so I somehow. Got all 4. Haha. I'll most likely post pics later, whenever I end up opening them. I'm still at the convention center rn lol

(Putting the rest of this under a cut bc it got a little long lol)

I was on the field of the Lucas Oil Stadium, aka the stadium that the Indianapolis Colts play at. I've attended all of One game here (not professional football, it was a high school game lol) so I've felt the size of it, but it's still fucking crazy being on the field. It's so BIG...... and obviously they've got the grass covered rn, but it's still pretty cool!!!

I maaaade dice!!! Pretty precise process it seems, & definitely would require a Lot of work (after the sanding and the painting etc etc). I do still wanna get into it, but if I wanted to spring for stuff like the vacuum chamber or the pressure pot...

Yeah, it'd get expensive. Add in the fact that I don't have a good place to do this away from the cats & it really is not feasible to start rn. But!!! Eventually!!!! I think I'd really enjoy it. I just need a dedicated workshop space where I can spread out without worrying about poisoning my cats lol.

Here's some cool game set stuff I saw in the event hall. This picture is maybe... hm... a fourth of the event hall? And then when you consider that the vender hall (connected to the event hall, though it's closed right now) is maybe 1.5 times as big as the event hall?? Give or take a little...

Aka just imagine booths upon booths upon booths... I'm gonna have to take a pic of it tomorrow. I was there too briefly to think about taking a pic. Honestly I maybe managed to get through like a tenth of the whole vender hall in an hour of wandering. It's fucking huge. And So Many Dice... I bought one set of 14 (I think it was) dice. Aka an extended set. And then I got a random set bag of dice (just a basic 7). And then a d20 with a cat on it. And a dice of LETTERS. Aka I guess a d26 (I totally did not have to double check that there were 26 letters in the alphabet)(I have 702k words written & posted to ao3)(😂😂😂 I'm very tired) but with letters instead of numbers. And it's glow in the dark!!! And I found some hxh buttons, and a mighty nein poster, and uhmmmm. A cute lanyard. And that's all I bought. Which really is such restraint for me. (Omfg I just saw a dragon cosplay)(someone just dressed as a dragon)

OH YEAH I saw a fucking. Persona 5 Ryuji cosplay. Hanging out with the biker lady from Durarara. Featuring the Ryuji holding her scythe hfksbfmd which was such a funny image. I was too shy to ask for a pic but just trust 🙏 i saw this

Anyways yeah the only real big thing I bought is the naruto figurines. I'll show pics later once I got the stuff again (I dropped it all off in the car earlier)

Omfg literally as I've been sitting here (on a bench at the side of a main hallway) someone stopped by and gave me a handmade bracelet !!!

DND's 50th anniversary!!! So cute!!!!

[dizzybizz]

we have these baubles with a bunch of our family's names written with these glitter glue pens or whatever they are

and this time around my mom changed mine to my new name

and i kinda wanna cry about it

cause i walked down the stairs to the living room and i saw them all resting on towels and drying

i sat down on the couch to just look them over

i was searching for my bauble but i tried to act like i wasn't, don't think i was actually too subtle about it but i pretended

there were baubles with the names of our pets, half siblings, nephews and i found mine

and my mom had changed it

i had a hunch she might've, it's just like her to do something like that

but idk i guess it just kinda really drove home the point that i am accepted and this is all real? it's not some elaborate daydream or something i came up with after fantasizing about coming out and all

im just feeling some trans joy

sorry it's 4am i can't sleep but i am thinking and feeling and my family accepts me and im just overwhelmed with it all and ahshdjfjfjshhdnffmmgvm..... y'know

[edgarallanpoestan]

do i order food and have a proper meal or do i eat cold dry unsalted leftover fries so i dont spend any money tn

[ichigosoju]

🦋

[hauntingblue]

Why do they say dragon is luffy's father but doesn't look much like him... I mean it is true but why point it out... in that way he doesn't look like garp either