#i should shit talk him in english to my other cousin just to be petty

[yjwonz]

eye twitch

[kidney9-9]

Petty Chapter 6

Awesome it’s updated again :) As you can tell through this chapter, Peter is getting closer to Reader. Please read the warnings before you read. Tags in reblog and to join a taglist, click the link in my bio.

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader  Warnings: Swearing, Blackmail and other illegal activites  Word Count: 2.2k

Just as soon as you walked to the stadium, you doubted yourself. What was the point? You couldn’t understand yourself, but maybe you were being the bigger person here by offering peace first, even though you were the one that acted against him first. Fuck. You were just confused with him.

Why did he have to be Spiderman and write that dumb essay? You started to rant in your mind, snickering quietly when you started to make fun of his name again. Sure, there were a lot of bad things of Peter that you can think of now, but maybe… just maybe you can see him as an average person. Like a person you’d see on the street, and never think of again.

That would be easier if you saw him that way, but you didn’t. Unfortunately, you didn’t like him, and just his presence near you made you agitated, even though you knew you shouldn’t. You couldn’t help it.

As you continued to walk closer to the bleachers, noticing a few people there, you twiddled with your fingers nervously. As you rounded to the other side of them, you cleared your throat, standing straight again as you saw Peter sitting there with some papers scrawled out with Ned by his side, and others sitting across from them.

Everyone looked up to you after you cleared your throat again, and Peter crossed his arms, sighing when he saw you. Ned almost grinned at the way Peter was acting, wanting to compare it to a third grader but decided it wasn’t time.

“Hey… um, Peter can I speak to you?” You mumbled to him, leaning a bit as you felt the cold metal hit your head just slightly. Peter instantly glanced over to Ned and his other classmates, who were studying for science and a few other subjects. Ned gazed back at him with raised eyebrows, expecting Peter to go talk to you. After listening to Peter yap about everything, Ned was sure Peter just needed to talk to you about things.

“Why?” Peter shot back defensively, shifting in his spot. One of his classmates looked at him strangely and Peter realized he was acting rude. Peter muttered something under his breath before getting out of his spot, walking towards you.

You walked a bit away with Peter, towards the trees as you thought about how you were going to say stuff. He swiped his hand through his hair as you leaned against one of the trees, gazing back at you with hesitance. You could tell he didn’t want to be here, but you were sort of glad he was taking a chance to let you talk to him.

“I’m… Look I saw what you posted, and I know it’s sort of my fault and well, anyway- Do you want help?” You stumbled out, feeling nerves pop out in you. This was something you didn’t do often. You didn’t really offer to help people you didn’t like at all, so it felt strange. You didn’t have that many valid reasons of doing this except to feel less guilty, but still it was so odd.

Peter blanched. He had no idea why you would ask him that, since you caused him to fail. He took a step back in surprise, and shoved his hands in his pockets, glancing at you with furrowed eyebrows. What was your reasoning? He didn’t know at all, so he started to guess.

Would it benefit you in some way? He couldn’t see any way you would benefit from helping him at all. He didn’t want your help at all, but now the idea was growing on him, as he started to wonder what the fuck you were doing.

It couldn’t be to help your cousin behind this either. You were your own person, and Peter could tell that the two of you didn’t have the best relationship if you went failing random people with her class. Was this just to hurt her? He bit his lip, shaking his head to himself which caused you to clear your throat to see what was happening.

If there was nothing… he had to find out. You couldn’t just be helping him for nothing. He needed to see why you were offering any help.

“Fine, how can you help me?” It came out smooth and your eyebrows shot up in surprise, thinking that he wouldn’t have accepted. You cringed internally, wondering if he was that bad in English. He was an “intern” at the Stark company, so it just seemed so odd to see that English was his weakness.

After a brief moment of thinking, you shrugged, “I can tutor you. I’m an okay tutor.” Your dull answer made him chuckle while shaking his head. He didn’t want that at all, it wouldn’t work any type of way because he was always busy with his duties as well as the other homework he gets from the rest of his classes.

“Can’t do that, don’t want to be hang out with you.” He scoffed and instantly regretted. It wasn’t the kindest thing to say but when he saw you roll your eyebrows back to him; he knew you were sort of okay with it. He didn’t need to give you any kindness, did he? He still felt bad and it wasn’t exactly the full truth.

“Alright…” You paused, scratching your head. He seemed to be worked up and you started to think if it was because of you talking to him. You didn’t know what else you could tell him, but now you felt obligated to help him since you offered. There was something that always hung in the back of your mind whenever you got worried about your finals. Something that was always the silent option, throughout the years of high school. You knew if you were caught even thinking about it you could get in trouble too.

It was very much illegal and ruin your chances of getting into university. You cringed internally, wondering if saying it aloud to a superhero – one that fights against crime, would be alright. Shouldn’t it be though? You thought about it more, seeing that Peter was technically still breaking many laws as being Spiderman. Like he blew shit up almost every weekend and you were sure he made sneaky weird technology, especially if he made his suit. You didn’t really know much about his background on Spiderman, but the more you thought about it, you realized that it shouldn’t matter if you told him your idea.

And it wasn’t like you would get in trouble because of him, since he is a hero.

Besides, you’ve joked around a lot about it with your friends. Saying that you could just sneak into school and steal the answers to every exam and final you were taking. And sneaking into schools were too easy nowadays. Just got to jump a small fence and find an unlocked door or window, or just steal a key beforehand.

You were a good student, and so was Peter.

Every student knows that you must leap for opportunities, if they want something, right? You assured yourself as you second thought everything.

Peter was the type that would launch for goals, and technically so were you if it meant it would make you feel less guilty about ruining his chances of going to college.

“I’ve got a plan.” You spoke up, making Peter frown in return. He could see your slight grin, and he worried about what you were going to say.

“And what’s that? Fail more students?” He responded, groaning as you rolled your eyes. Why did he always have to act like that? He knew it was more than just the reason you failed him, but he couldn’t put a finger on it.

“Sure, Sherlock. And then we’ll magically get into college and it’s all rainbows and daisies.” The sarcasm poured out of your mouth as you started to think if you should even share your plan with Peter. If you didn’t, you could always go in by yourself, and get the history exam answers. That would be easy, and less risky.

Before Peter could retort to your comment, you continued, “Listen, we’ll go to Mandy’s class after or before school someday, and sign into her account to see what her plans are for the final. Then we’ll leave, and you can use it to pass.”

Peter was flabbergasted. “No fucking way, are you serious? You want to pull and Ocean’s Eleven on your cousin?”

A short laugh came out of your mouth, looking at his face. It was red in shock, his jaw dropped, and you can tell he was just too stunned. “Parker, you in or out? And,” You paused, biting your lip.

“And if you’re out, I expect you not to tell anyone about what I just said. You know, because I’ll just tell everyone you’re Spiderman, and blah blah blah- people will know your big secret.” The threat should have been implied, but you decided to say it aloud to him, to make sure.

Peter crossed his arms at it, “Wow, blackmail must run in the family then.” He glanced back to Ned, seeing how he was focused on the group instead. Peter just wanted a normal senior year as Spiderman, the high schooler, but no.

Now he had to deal with crime, his grades, and you. He couldn’t tell what was more frustrating now, you or crime, but as you cocked your eyebrow back to him, expecting a definite answer, he came up with his opinion.

He had to do it. He was doing it for his own good, and to impress both Aunt May and Stark. He needed to do it; you were the one who opened this door for him. He knew it was wrong, but he couldn’t let them down right now. It would destroy him. After all he’s done as Spiderman and as a regular high school student, and then an English exam would be his downfall? He couldn’t let that happen. He needed to push through, even if it was bad.

“Okay… I’ll do it.” He murmured, stepping closer to you as if it was a huge secret. It was. He couldn’t let anyone know about him sneaking into a school with you. He still didn’t tell Aunt May about what you did either, but he knew he would soon. He felt horrible for holding so much back from her, that he knew he had to at least tell her that story.

Your gaze turned softer when you saw he dropped his anger in his words, and you felt relieved that things were starting to be better now. It felt strange as you started to realize he was the first person you confessed to about your plan honestly, and not just a joke. You couldn’t trust anyone else about it, knowing how bad this was.

“Let’s talk about it somewhere else?” You questioned, offering somewhere more private as you glanced around, noticing that more people started showing up, walking around the two of you. Peter nodded in agreeance, before gazing back to the group he was with.

“Hey guys! I’ll catch up later.” He called out, waving back to them. You grinned sheepishly back to Ned as his gaze turned to you with curiosity. Your grin dropped as you spun around, feeling Peter’s hand on your arm. You glanced down to it with knitted eyebrows as he tugged you gently towards another direction.

“I’m not a pet, I don’t need a leash.” You mumbled, ripping your arm away from him. Peter almost let out a chuckle before he saw the glare on your face, before he bit down on his lips, deciding to keep quiet.

“And where are we going? The bathrooms or something?” You rambled on, glimpsing to him as he cleared his throat. He shook his head, thinking about going to one of the benches. This all felt insane to him, but he was glad things were starting to look upwards now. You were one of the most surprising parts of his year, and he just hoped that next year, things could clear up, and be easier That he would be in college, balancing life between a student and a superhero.

“Right here.” He replied, after a few moments and sat down. He slung his bag down on the floor as you sighed to yourself.

“Well, I was thinking maybe just taking Mandy’s key. That’s the easiest way to get in, but since you’re Spiderboy- Man, what do you think?” You wanted to get straight into it, and Peter was thankful you didn’t say anything else rude, other than Spiderboy, which he could deal with.

Wanda and Clint say that stuff to him all the time, it was a teasing thing the group always did with each other. “Uh, that might be easy, sure. Would she notice it was gone? I know a way in.” He responded, shrugging back to you.

You rolled your eyes again, shaking your head. You knew exactly which way he was speaking about. “Not that entrance. You make too much noise.” You mumbled back and he bit back his urge to reply to you.

He repeated what you said in his head, in a whinny voice, mimicking you. “Okay, fine.” He responded, clenching the side of the bench.

“Alright, my plan it is then. Tonight at 10 good?” The question threw him off, not expecting it to be so soon, but it made sense. He nodded back to you, without speaking as he thought about how he’d take a break from his rounds for a few hours to go back to the school.

[cxncordia]

So, am I still in hiatus?

Sorta.

First of all, what happened?

Last night, on the gay smut server, I gave a “gossip” about a topic that came up: it was something I have heard from another friend regarding the topic. And from there on invoked a discussion about social issues in media. My big problem with these discussions of social issues in media is that they tend to turn into a “woke metric” to see which shows deserve more laurels for being more “woke”. After the discussion happened and I was online again, I mentioned my opinion. Sarcastically, sure, but an honest opinion nonetheless. Somebody else mentioned how what I said had nothing to do with the topic and then I elaborated again on it. I stood by my point on a second paragraph, mentioning that things needed to be looked at in context. I didn’t want to keep on discussing, so I went ahead and deleted those messages because, there was no real reason for them to be kept there.

After this discussion I went to get a haircut, but I noticed I could not reach one but two of the indie roleplaying servers I was inside. I thought it was an error, but still asked a friend about it.

Turns out that I was banned. 

When I came back from my haircut my friend sent me screenshots of the discussion that happened. Not only was I banned, but I was made out an exhibition and there were some other people adding in very nasty things and unfounded actions that supposedly I did. 

I was mad, so for that very reason I came back here, put everything on hiatus and took a step off. I was very close to delete because this is the last straw on a series of times that this shit happened.

But after taking a moment, reading a few books that I have on this kind of situation and taking a moment to myself, I decided that no, I was not going to take a hiatus. One, I like writing and this is something that is inherently me. Two, I have friends in here that I like to keep on touch with and people that were interested in my well being. Three, there’s a lot to be said here and I will use this space to say it.

---

I admit discussions like this aren’t that uncommon in the server and I usually have strong opinions about them. I have also differing opinions at times and I mention them. I admit not having always the best words or sometimes being very sarcastic. Maybe something gets lost in the translation when I’m not being sarcastic? (Because I think a lot of people forget that English IS my second language) Maybe it’s my way of being? It’s not the first time I’ve been called “abrasive” or “combative”. 

But it’s also something that I admit I like about being me. As a gay man growing up in a hyper macho family, inside a city that kills people for less than pennies and in a country that still repaints white over rainbow walk lines on the roads during Pride, being combative is the only way of being. Letting someone walking over you is just not an option. And while I admit this is not an excuse, there is also a lot of misjudgement here. You’re also forgetting that I come from a generation that did not have any rights whatsoever and that could not do what many can do now. Gays in my time were a plot twist, a side note, or a thing you translated as “cousins”. So yes, I’m combative. 

The server is also forgetting that many times this combative behavior has helped me and them. Or how many times my response came out of provocation. Once when dealing with a horrible troll that was taking screenshots out of our server, creating unnecessary drama and targeting another rper. And another time when I went to the admin asking him to remove a very aggressive roleplayer in the past (who took everything literally and made every single discussion about them). The first time I had to close the server because I was not going to have someone like that. The second time I was told by the admin that they were onto “doing something.” I don’t know if they did or not, but the rper left on their own hand.

Same thing when I was the admin of the server: I had to be there, settle a bunch of discussions and arguments directly with the individuals starting them, from having to face the “selfie leak” (where people were posting their nudes) and the “actor leaks” (where people were posting actors leaks) as well as facing some racist and misogynistic roleplayers. To do all that, I needed that “combative” spirit in order to get down to the bottom of things and set things on their right place for the good of everyone. So yeah, my combative behavior has helped me and has, to a degree, helped the server. 

I will admit that I’m aggressive. But I will also admit that I’m not stupid or rigid. When conversing with others and expressing their needs I’m the first one to adjust to their needs as best as I can. And that when being told that I need to correct something, I can do it (as long as within my limits, of course). And when admitting mistakes, I’m also the first one to do it. (Hence the reason to this post). That said: I think I was unjustly banned. I was not given a direct warning and I was blindsided. But I will not go down the rabbit hole of “conspiracy”, it this is true then to each their own.

The combative behavior is only half the problem and that’s on me, I will admit it. But there is also another half of the problem that needs to be addressed.

The other part is the fact that some people just don’t have the skills to call someone up on their “problematic” behavior and instead gang up together and come from behind. The other part of the problem resides in people preferring to adjust others to their experience than to take control of their own comfort (I admit that blocking someone up in discord is difficult because you only see big blocks of text, but hey, you still have control over your experience).

The other part of the problem definitely lays on the fact that the admin didn’t warn me directly at all before the ban came. The times it was done indirectly were so subtle I did not notice and that there was no reason to have been made a show after the ban. (Because also, the server is forgetting the times they “teased” me for being “old” or liking certain things. How they were aggressive and I punched back in retaliation. Are they banning these players on “lack of respect and rudeness” too?)

So with this in mind, some things need to be done:

I apologize to anyone who had a hard time because of my opinions. I admit not seeing how my words could be aggressive and how my behavior probably hurt you. On that, I acknowledge my actions and I’m sorry for hurting you. Know that it was not personal and when it was, it was probably taken privately. That said I still believe that you should do what’s best for you and take matters into creating your own positive experience (like blocking someone you don’t wanna read). I admit that it may be difficult on a place like a public discord server, and for that I apologize as well.

I apologize to anyone who was scared or that I ignored last night. I am sorry, you deserved better. I had no mind to respond to you so that’s why I was evasive. I hope you can find in yourselves to understand where I was coming from and why I did evade you.

Thirdly I apologize to Alex, the main admin of the gay server. I do not believe you did right. I do not believe you did correctly and that I was unjustly banned, but I will give you that it was better for you this way. You avoided any confrontation and any aggression by not facing me or warning me directly, so I can’t blame you for doing what you did. I apologize to you for releasing the content of our conversations. I don’t think I released anything private, but still, that was petty AF of me. At this moment, I still think this was unjust, but maybe in a month or a year I will not even look back at this opinion or give it as much weight as I’m giving it now. So for now, this “hollow” apology is probably the best I can come up with. 

That said, I am a firm believer of making my own experience as comfortable as it is for me, so:

I am now fully private, which means that I’m not taking threads from anyone that I don’t know or haven’t talked through in the past few months. I am sorry, but I don’t want to be open at this moment. 

I am taking it slow. Very slow. So I am making a slow comeback. It’s not fair to those that played with me and had no bearings in the server matter, so that’s why I’m returning. But I’m gonna go as easy as I can. 

There’s a big chance that I’m restricting myself from playing with anyone associated with that server. I know that this is my pettiness again. So, I’m going to put on hold the threads of the people that I know are in the server and ask myself of this rule in a week to see how I feel. 

I am not exposing my opinion on tons of matters and it’s very likely that I will unfollow those blogs that I know do a lot of these commentaries. I’m also unfollowing rpers who do tons of OOC posts. My problem is that I’m a very reactive individual that when reading something that is BS or simply doesn’t sit right with me, I will speak up. I realize that yeah, not everybody wants to read my opinion, but also that there’s a lot of misinformed people that I enjoy correcting. So, for both of our sakes I am doing something there.

So, lesson learned?

It’s too early to call it that. And it’s too early to call an epiphany. But know that I will keep my truth as best as I can and I will focus on cherish the people that do love me and support me.

[thenixkat]

Animorphs notes: 23

Book 23

Narrated by Tobias

No you damn furry, you are a human wearing a bird body

Reasons why choosing to like as a wild animal is a terrible idea

And choosing to not do shit about the situation either way

Am I really supposed to give a damn if he doesn’t?

Tobias you are still a damn wimp

That’s assuming that no other forms of morphing tech exist anywhere else in the whole ass universe

Tobias, you decided that you wanna live as a wild ass animal. No one’s making you do this.

Tobias killed by rabbit inflicted injuries

Tobias is starving

Too proud for roadkill, other than now

Is this dumb motherfucker really gonna eat it on the damn road and not pull it somewhere safer?

Rachel asks if the random hawk eating roadkill is Tobias

Tobias is supremely embarrassed and stops eating. Not that starving i guess

Rachel has news for Tobias

Rachel interrupts Tobias b4 he can get into the pity fest

Tobias thinks Rachel being genuinely angry or upset is funny. 

Why did Rachel phrase it like that? Are you not friends with Melissa anymore Rachel?

I just wanna get to the hork-bajir not stand around listening to Tobias bitch about shit he chose to do

Human brains are the best around, ugh

This is why parrots are better than hawks

You could call child protective services

You could be held in a secure, airtight  metal box

You should still call child protective services

Tobias is followed

Tobias decides not to follow up with the rest for reasons

This is book 23. Tobias has only been to the valley twice?!

What? All escaped horks are supposed to just know where this place is? Who am I kidding the writers don’t give a damn about the hork-bajir or their agency

The valley has watchkeepers who definitely watch the skies

Shut the fuck up Tobias

Why do they need the help pf the Animorphs?

Bek is missing

So Tobias only goes and hangs with the horks to make himself feel better and otherwise just ignored their existance. All the while insulting them in his head

Tobias curses

There’s no way in hell that these people never heard cursing in English before

Bold of Tobias to assume that he’s smarter than any of the hork-bajir

So yeah, canon. The hork-bajir free the fucking hork-bajir.

Tobias ain’t make yall free, you made yall free.

So there’s a yeerk facility in the next town over

I wouldn’t tell the Animorphs about my covert operations either. I know how they operate

Confirmation that horks can track scents

Tobias, if you fucking wanted to you could morph human and have human contact. You’ve once again chosen not to

Wouldn’t the first thing someone would assume a hork-bajir is would be a person in costume? A monster? A cryptid? A new species of reptile?

The fuck is so ugly and deformed about a hork-bajir? Just cause yall squeemish petty fucks doesn’t mean everyone else is.

Have I mentioned that Tobias creeps me out when he talks about Rachel sometimes? He comes off like a stalker

Flight is learned not instinct

Man, wouldn’t it have been cool if Loren disappeared b/c she went off the grid to fight the yeerks?

Too bad none of yall have flying morphs with the stamina to fly long distances in straight lines

That’s incredibly suspiscious and abnormal bird behavior

Yeah, I’m not surprised Cassie would be the kinda dumb jackass that would release the animals from a roadside zoo without any fucking step 2 as to where the animals are going to go

I’m pretty sure 3 ft tall isn’t a damn new born. Young certainly, but up and about on his own definitely not a baby.

Bek was captured and put in a roadside zoo

The animorphs actually do their homework

Ax is distressed by what’s in the science text book

I’m not surprised that this is only the second time Tobias actually uses a useful morph like hork-bajir in the 10 fucking books since he last used it

Rachel decides to wreak the place more than necessary b/c like Cassie she is shit at thinking ahead. These kids don’t give a damn about the actual lives of these animals

Like I’m going to listen to the scientific opinions of someone we know didn’t pay attention in his xenobiology class

That means that atleast those 3 yeerks hears Rachel shouting about dumbo-zilla in thoughspeak

Also, idk man, yer wearing Ket Halpak’s face. She could have an entire reputation you don’t know about

Boo! Let Ket have a reputation as more than just a renagade rebel.

I am reminded of teh fact that if these hosts were anything other than human the animorphs woulda torn them into rags. Fucking hypocrits

Bek is capable of thought speak. While I know this is a fuck up, its more fun to imagine that he’s just a random psychic mutant hork-bajir

Also lying to Bek

Really Tobias? Gonna endanger a kid like that?

Visser 3 recognises Ket. But is not surprised that she’s alive.

All right, how the hell does Tobias know how to speak English with a hork-bajir’s mouth and whatever the hell else is involved with them speaking? I know his ass ain’t practice that shit

Let me guess? Another false surrender? Joke’s on you Tobias, Aximili already forfetted yer side’s ability to surrender

Visser 3 actually accepts this surrender, too bad Tobias doesn’t give a singular shit about Bek or himself continuing to live

In which Tobias is indecisive and suffers and bitches about things instead of finding solutions

And I don’t care about Tobias’ suffering b/c he’s an ass

Ax attempts a joke

Ax gets Tonias to spy on Tob’s supposed cousin again

Ax suspects that Aria is a yeerk who’s doing a lot to act like they aren’t

Rachel and Tobias have a fight and I’m on Rachel’s side 

Of course the Animorphs would intentionally manipulate the free horks and fuck up their own effort to free their people. The animorphs don’t give a damn

The fact that Tobias is still alive is a fucking miricle

Toby is willing to work with the animorphs to smash up and destroy the whole facility. Even if Bek dies b/c of it. She has decided to interpret ‘Free or Dead’ as “Rather dead than a slave”

10 horks go with the animorphs to fight

Fal Tagut talks to Tobias. Fal Tagut is going to fight some yeerks

I feel like these writers don’t know the difference b/w violence against and oppressor and violence from an oppressor? Like there’s a difference. A big difference. As someone else has already said “even kindergarteners can tell ‘I don’t care who started it’ is bullshit”

Tobias the territory sistuation can’t possibly compare for so many reasons. The first of which being you DON’T HAVE TO LIVE AS A WILD ASS ANIMAL YOU DENSE MOTHERFUCKER

Fal Tagut never tried to kill you you fucking nit, the yeerk did

The facility is hidden by a holigram of the forest

Horks canonicly just fucking tie up hosts and Tobias needs to shut the fuck up

Putting hork’s head in a hole/dirt keeps them unconcious longer

The yeerks are building a ground mounted dracon cannon

So a hork raiding team is about 3-4 people

Bek wants a hug. Jara Hamee delivers

Ya know that the yeerk is not their host? That means a yeerk saw a strange bird in a place it doesn’t belong and whent ‘This is not my problem’

Ok but this means that Visser 3 was pretending to be a human woman for who knows how long on the off chance that the andalite bandits knew something and would try to spy on them

And Visser 3 was actually kinda right

Tobias goes into a fucking angst coma in the middle of a fucking fight

Toby why just leave him there

The writer forgets that ‘they’ exists and is less clunky than he/she

Surprise! Elfangor is Tobias’ father

Visser 3 is too much of a coward to take in their nemesis’ son

Visser 3 speaks well of Elfangor

Also there’s something of an implication that Visser 3 can properly morph clothes

All of this b/c the Ellimist wants to use Tobias as a pawn

Tobias learns to deal with the psychic powers

Rachel and Tobias celebrate his birthday

[amazinggirl55]

My extremely long rant about sexism in Asia

So anybody who thinks the most sexist country is America has clearly never been to Asia. In Asia women go through so much and I want to highlight some of that with my own experiences/knowledge. I’d be really grateful to anyone who reads this all the way down.

But first, a little backstory. I was three years old when my parents moved to America and twelve years old when we moved back to our home country. My home country is in Central Asia. It’s a third world country. That was three years ago. Now I’ve lived here for three years and I’ve seen so many things that infuriate me. But let’s start small.

Because this is Central Asia, we’ve been having problems with terrorist websites. There was this one app where you start playing and you end up committing suicide. It doesn’t matter how mentally healthy you started off, they have their ways of sinking their claws into you and backing you into a corner until you don’t see a way out. Anyways, one day, I was at my grandma’s house and there were some guests there. I remember we were talking about this website, and my older brother made a joke about my cousin trying it out. Everyone laughed. My cousin made a joke about one of the guests also playing it. My brother also said he wants to try it out. Everyone laughed at these two jokes as well. Then I made a joke saying pretty much the same thing and you know what kind of reaction I got? Dead silence, until my mother said, super serious “I will disown you if you ever play that game.” When I asked why she didn’t have the same reaction to my brother, who said the same thing, she said “you’re a girl, you’re not allowed to make these kind of jokes.”

Another similar scenario. I was at my grandma’s house (again) and I remember I was so fucking mad. I was furious. I don’t remember what happened, but I know it was something serious. As in, I wasn’t just being moody or petty. There was an actual legitimate reason for my anger. A lot of my close family members were there. I was fuming and trying to control my anger and you know what my grandpa said? He said “don’t be angry, you’re a girl. Girls aren’t allowed to be angry.” My grandpa literally told me that I was supposed to be some little delicate flower that always agreed with other people and backed down from arguments. And that made me so much more pissed off. I remember I was crying angry tears and I had no outlet. I didn’t know what to do. There were so many people, all of them were waiting for me to calm down and apologize like a good little girl. My mother was angry at me for losing my cool. And I was just wondering what I’d done to deserve such a family.

I remember, when my brother and I still went to the same school, my brother had told on me about how I act around guys. How I start conversations and go up to my classmates and start annoying them when I’m bored. To Americans or Europeans, that’s not a big deal, heck it’s not a deal at all, but apparently it’s a huge fucking deal for these stupid ass Asians. My mom got mad at me and started talking about how I shouldn’t act like that and blah blah blah. My cousin was also there (a girl cousin this time) and the two of them agreed that the only circumstances on which I was allowed to talk to to guy is is and only if, I was with a friend (that’s a girl, duh) and a guy came up to me asking about schoolwork, was I allowed to talk to guys. Now can someone tell me how fucking ridiculous that is?! There are millions of girls out there who have guys as best friends where I literally can’t shake a guy’s hand without feeling like I’m disappointing my mother.

One question you might have is, what kind of stuff do you wear? Well, I wear whatever my mom lets me. Which isn’t all that much when I think about it. For example, I don’t own a single pair of jeans or pants. The shortest thing I have goes to my knees. Makeup? Hahahahaha no. That’s not even something I can think about. I’m only allowed to wear makeup after I get married. Most types of jewelry? After I get married. Pretty much anything with sequins or shiny stuff? After I get married. All my life, I’d ask my mom if I could wear makeup or put on this earring or go to this wedding or party and my answer would always be “after you get married” and it’s always pissed me off. Even today, my aunt gave me this really nice bracelet and my mom told me she’d give it to me after I got married.

Now I know what you’re all thinking, if I’m not allowed to interact with guys (and most other girls have similar limitations as well), how the hell am I expected to get married? Well the answer is rather simple. When I turn 16/17, depending on how pretty I am and how rich my family is and a few other stuff, mothers will starts coming to my door to talk to my mother about marrying me and their son together. Oftentimes, it will be the guy who sends his mother to a girl’s house. Sometimes the guy also has no choice, but that’s a lot more rare than a girl with no choice. If my father decides that he likes that family (or if they’re rich enough) he’ll say that I can marry that guy. My age won’t matter. If I’m 16, maybe they’ll wait for a while, maybe they won’t. Once the wedding is over, I get a lot of stuff. And I mean a lot. The family of the groom sends a lot of gifts and all the stuff that my mom has saved for me over the years will finally be mine. So does this mean I can wear whatever I want and go wherever I want? No, it doesn’t. It means, if my husband is lenient, if he says I can do this and that and if my mother in law lets me, I can do some stuff, within reason. Now, I’m maybe 18/19 at this point. I’m married, I wear makeup all the time, maybe I go to university if my husband is kind enough to let me go and what’s the logical next step? Kids. If I don’t get pregnant within the year, most people will gossip about if something is wrong and what not. Everyone will be pressuring me to have a kid. Once I do have that kid, I’ll raise him or her. I’ll stop going to university, or maybe I’ll be able to finish by some miracle, but it won’t matter because my husband won’t let me go to work anyways. And why would he? I have an infant to take care of. Why should I be going to work? And then I’ll probably have some more kids and raise them too. And then my first kid will be old enough to get married and I’ll marry them off (or get them a wife, depending of their gender) and then I’ll take care of their kid all the time because if they’re a guy, they’ll still be living with me. All my life, I will listen to what my parents and brother told me, then my husband and parents in law (and if I have older siblings in law, them too) and and then I’ll just raise my kids and forever live for someone else. I’ll never be able to live for me or be independent. (Side note, the whole ‘I’ theme I have going on this whole paragraph isn’t exactly accurate, but I do know many, many women who have lived through such a life and more women who are currently living such a life. The only reason I kept saying I is because I didn’t want to use different pronouns and get myself confused. Trust me, my fate will most likely be very different from this) (this is the only part of this whole thing that’s not about me personally)

And now, I’ll share what happened today. Today is August 20th and it’s a big Muslim holiday. My mom woke me up at 7:00 AM and my dad was pissed that I woke up so late. (Which is fucking bullshit, because all summer long, I’ve been waking up at 9-11 and no one gave a damn). My mom was telling me how my dad said a bunch of stuff to her about me. But that was only the start of the day. Then we all went to my grandma’s house (they live down the street which is why we’re always there) and my cousin’s cousin was also there. (I’m not related to him and I know him very distantly). All the males sat on the table, but because there were no room for the girls, we all ate on the floor with a table cloth (it’s not as bad as it sounds, it’s actually part of our culture to eat on the floor) and when we were done eating, some people left. There were just enough people to fit at the table, with me as the only person with no place to sit. I was eating some watermelon, standing next to that guy (my cousin’s cousin, who is 18) and my mom motioned me to go somewhere else to eat it. Now this guy, he could care less about me. He wasn’t even looking at me, but my mom was telling me not to be anywhere near the table, on the off chance that he... I don’t even know what she was so afraid of. What would he possibly have done?! But that’s okay, that doesn’t matter. After a while, my parents and my siblings went to my other grandma’s house, who lives pretty far away. When we got there, there were a bunch of people. A lot of the women were doing chores and the only guys (my mom’s cousins) were sitting at the table outside. I went inside and sat around for a while. I will admit I didn’t do any chores during that time. My mom said we’d all go outside and eat there (it’d been a couple of hours since lunch), so I went outside and the only people sitting down were my dad, my mom’s cousin and my 6 year old sister. There were a few women doing this and that. I asked (in English) where I should sit. My dad gave me the dirtiest look and told me to go inside and eat with the woman. I told him nobody was eating inside, so he told me to go help with the chores. I was pretty angry, but I didn’t say anything. I just went inside and ate my food quietly. All of the little kids were playing with water guns outside and my brother joined them for a while. Everyone was laughing and smiling. After a while (my brother had already started doing something else) I started playing with them too and everyone was all like “you’re getting wet” “you don’t have any other clothes” “what are you doing, you’re a big girl” and all that shit. So I stopped and I went inside. Some time later, the men had dinner outside, while the women ate inside. My mom and aunt went outside and sat with their husbands and cousins. I stayed inside. I did some chores and helped out my other aunt. When I finally went outside, hopefully to get a drink and maybe finally get to talk or something, my mom immediately started giving me the empty plates and dishes. When I was trying to drink a cup of Fanta, I was handed a plate with a cup on it, and while I was still drinking, she kept handing me stuff as if she expected me to put it on my heads or something. I was barely able to balance it on the plate with one hand. Eventually, I finished cleaning (after I was almost done, my mom started getting the little kids to help me) and sat down for a few minutes and then we had to leave. In the car, I sarcastically thanked my mom for an amazing holiday and she was like “what do you mean” as if she literally has no idea why I didn’t like this holiday. And then she was like “what? you’re not going to go to your grandma’s anymore?” (We go to my grandma’s house literally every week and the other grandma’s every day) and I said “yeah, you all force me to go” and she ended the conversation by saying “I’m not even going to think about this or I’m going to get so mad” as if she had any right to be mad at what I was saying.

I know that almost all of this was a rant about my personal experiences, but this was partly to get some stuff off my chest and partly to show you guys what Asian girls go through. Every day, we’re told not to compare ourselves to our brothers and cousins, because they’re guys and we’re not. Every day, we’re told to keep our heads down and our mouths shut and not complain. Every day, we’re told that we’re girls and we were created to do housework. Every day, we’re told that we’re not equal to men. And you know what’s even worse? Every girl in this country believes it. They don’t know what feminism is, or what sexism is, or why they would ever stand up to their brothers or fathers or husbands. They believe that they’re the belongings of the oldest man in the house and that it’s their job to clean and cook for everyone. They don’t even know that this isn’t how it works in other countries. They just do as they’re told and live by the orders of the men in their lives.

Now I want to note something important here. My life isn’t all that bad. Yes, my parents and relatives can be misogynistic as hell at times, but they’re also considered to be very open minded amongst other people who live here. If they weren’t, I wouldn’t even know that this kind of behavior/treatment isn’t the norm. My parents allow me to do many things that I know for a fact other girls aren’t allowed to do. So I guess, for as bad as I think I have it sometimes, there are millions of girls who have it much worse and don’t even know of anything different.

But please, don’t take this the wrong way. I’m not trying to trivialize American or European girls’ problems or experiences by saying that mine are worse. The pink tax, equal pay, sexual harassment (on women or men), misogynistic dress codes, unfair laws or regulations, victim blaming, etc they’re all a huge problem and everyone should be working together to fix these issues, but they should also acknowledge that there are women who are being treated horribly on an endless cycle where pretty much no one gives a damn.

I’m not going to ask for reblogs or likes, but I would like to talk to people who have gone through a similar experience to mine, so if anyone can agree with what I’m saying, please message me and we can talk about the similarities and differences in our situations.

And for anyone who read all the way down here, man you deserve to be called a saint.

[kidney9-9]

Petty Chapter 1

Hey everyone! This is the first chapter to the new series, Petty! This is an Enemies-to-Lovers with mutual pinning series with Peter Parker. I’m happy that this is out now! Taglist is currently open, and I’ll be tagging people that were interested in the series before. Send in an ask or comment on the series masterlist to be on the taglist!

Canon divergence!! Endgame happened, everyone is still alive and happy. Peter Parker and Reader are seniors in high school, and they are both 18+. There will be smut in this series, additional warnings will be added on with each chapter, and on the series masterlist. This is a female reader insert series :)

Chapters should be updated every other day unless specified! 

Reblogs are very welcomed! Hope you enjoy!

Series Masterlist Chapter 2

Peter Parker x Reader Warnings: swearing Word Count: 1.6k

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You sighed into your coffee mug, already done with the morning as you saw Peter Parker swing into school, two hours early. Did he not realize that at least one person was at school this early? And that person would be you? You rolled your eyes, not getting how his secret identity hasn’t been revealed already. It was just so ridiculous. With Peter running around the city with a half-zipped bag, and a spiderman suit sticking out of it; just so stupid, in your opinion. You scoffed when you heard him crash into the closed front door, and you sunk into your seat even more, glancing back at the laptop in front of you, shaking your head.

The front door of the school was always locked, only people that had keys could unlock one of the backdoors, and only the principal and janitor had the key to the main entrance. You had your teacher’s key right now, and you snuck in when you noticed the janitor had just arrived, sitting in his car. You never got caught before, and you surely didn’t want to get caught ever. But Peter crashing into the doors, and lockers was bound to get either one of you caught soon.

You rolled your eyes when you heard one of the doors closest to you open, and you dimmed your laptop’s light as you saw Peter pass by, not paying attention to anything. What’s he doing here, right now? You could only assume it’s for his Spiderman business thing. You giggled silently when you peeked out the window in the classroom, noticing the janitor started to unlock the main entrance.

Your teacher left you the keys to the classroom and the school, to finish up all the work she didn’t do, meaning you had to grade every paper from all her classes. She teaches five different classes, and always comes running to you for help, since you were her chosen aide for this school year. 

Another reason why she thought it was completely fine to do this to you was because she’s your cousin. “Stupid fuckin’ Mandy. Why’d you even go to college, fuck…” You trailed off, cringing at the amount you still had to grade. You grinned when you saw yours though, and you quickly put in an A+, knowing Mandy wouldn’t really care.

You pressed to the one after yours, groaning quietly when you saw it was Peter Parker’s. Ironically, he chose to write about himself- or Spiderman. You shook your head, scoffing at how stupid he was at choosing this topic. You chose to write about the use of colors in older books, and you wrote over three pages! 

And here was Peter Parker, who wrote about Spiderman, comparing himself to the fucking Joan of Arc. You barely skimmed through it, hearing his footsteps down the hall, going to a different classroom. 

The mouse scrolled straight up to put in his grade, and you giggled silently, pushing the letter F in. “Fuck you, Parker.” You scoffed, setting his grade in completely, and watched his final score in the class drop down to a D.

You beamed at it, seeing all the other students range from As to Cs, and only Peter’s was a D. “Looks like you aren’t passing this week…” You whispered to yourself, rolling your eyes at the thought of Peter again. You pressed onto the next person, sighing in relief to see they wrote about the use of personification in a recent book, everyone had read this year.  

You didn’t worry about Peter not hearing you as you slammed the laptop shut with a loud groan, nodding to yourself, proud that you managed to get it all down in two hours. The school doors officially opened, after the janitor had unlocked them, letting students in. They mingled in the hallways as you strolled back to your regular student’s seat in the same classroom, after you dumped the rest of your cold coffee down the sink and set the mug in one of the closets.

You set your head on the desk, closing your eyes, just wanting to rest as you heard Mandy walk through the door. “Hey shithead, did you finish the work?” Mandy asked you, knocking on your desk harshly, making you bump up. 

You rolled your eyes at her and nodded, completely annoyed. “Are you,” You paused, eyes widening as you glanced down at her outfit, noticing it was the same as yesterday, “Are you doing the walk of shame?” You whispered cheekily, grinning in victory as she scoffed at you, rubbing her face with one hand, obviously hung over.

Mandy raised her eyes to you, laughing almost playfully as she tried to ignore her headache. She tilted her head towards you, grinning and teasing you back, “Yeah, I am. What’s it like knowing I was pounded into last night, while you were stuck here doing my work?” You scrunched your face up together in disgust back at her, shaking your head.

“Mandy’s got a man, now?” You questioned, wincing when you looked at her neck, and seeing bruises and bite marks. 

She flipped her hair around, feeling proud of making you uncomfortable and shook her head. “It’s a woman, shithead. I told you I was done with boys after that dumbass tried stealing money from me, again.” She deadpanned. You raised your eyebrows at her, surprised but happy that she got rid of that guy.

You leaned back into your seat, stretching your arms out behind you with a yawn. “Good for you, guys are either stupid or shit.” You replied, making her chuckle. 

She slid her bag onto your desk, digging through it to grab a little mirror to look at the marks on her neck, and the left over make up smeared on her face. She groaned at the disaster her face looked like and pouted over to you, almost pleadingly, without saying anything. You rolled your eyes and nodded, leaning forward as she took out her make up bag, and handed it over to you.

“Thanks, shithead. Really, thank you. It’s been a month and she and I couldn’t do anything cause our schedules never matched up, till last night.” She whispered, closing her eyes as you dragged the concealer across her under eyes. You shrugged, knowing she couldn’t see you as you glanced back to the class door, making sure no one had walked in. You blended it in with one of her brushes, cringing at the dirtiness of it.

Mandy continued, as you basically poured the concealer out on your hands and patted it on her neck, trying to cover the purplish marks. “She used this awesome move like; oh, wait I probably shouldn’t talk about that right now. But uh, anyway, thanks kid. Anything I should know about the papers?” You rolled your eyes, automatically thinking of Peter Parker’s paper and you paused, thinking if you should let her know.

Did you want her to know? Not exactly, since she’d likely change it back to his regular A in the class. But should you tell her? The options weighed in your mind for half a second and you opened your mouth, responding to her with a slight, “No, all’s good. Just followed that rubric you gave me, and everything was graded accurately.” Your voice was almost off, but you cleared your throat, getting rid of the slight questioning tone. Mandy nodded back, as you blended the makeup on her neck in, smiling when you noticed most of the marks were covered.

“Think you look okay, just zip up your jacket and keep your hair down today.” You concluded, sitting back and gazing at her appearance. Mandy groaned in relief, thanking you again as she zipped up fast, and shook her head, getting her hair out of place but it was better that way, since it covered more. 

Mandy paused before she turned away to go to her table and glanced at you making your eyes widen just the slightest, feeling guilty at ruining Peter’s grade.

“Gave yourself an A, right?” Mandy laughed out playfully. You nodded, relieved that she didn’t realize your expression was off. “Yeah, definitely.” You giggled back, glancing back to your desk as she lifted her bag off, and walked away.

“Oh, fuck.” You whispered to yourself, wondering what the hell you just did. You shook your head, thinking it was probably going to end up being nothing, as you unzipped your bag. 

You pulled out your notebook and a few pens, glancing back up as Mandy greeted some incoming students. You smiled at a few of them before you opened your notebook with a muffled sigh, pushing off the guilty feeling you were experiencing from Peter’s grades.

But then you shook your head again, groaning at yourself.

You shouldn’t have ever felt any guilt for what you did, Peter was stupid and even the concept of “Spiderman” was stupid. Why did he even become Spiderman? If you remembered correctly, Spiderman came about two or three years ago now, and your eyes widened, scoffing aloud at the idea of Peter running around in a spandex and shooting people with that yucky string thing. And now the both of you were in senior year, and he’s still in this weird superhero phase, that he’s not at all secretive about.

Mandy cleared her throat loudly, making you flinch and look up, to see that the rest of your classmates arrived. She glanced over to you, smiling slightly as she greeted the class, “Good morning everyone. Grades are in lock starting today, as we head into the next semester. Before we go for winter break, we’re reviewing English concepts from the beginning of class, and the final will be on a Wednesday.” Your eyes widened, oh shit.

In lock?

You coughed in surprise, glancing up to the ceiling as you drowned out your cousin’s voice, thinking about how you might have just potentially fucked up Peter’s chances of graduating.

--

Tagging: @hey-its-grey @kyberphilosopher @babe-dont @fantastic-fans @spidey-may09 @wayhoraeken @akidinlcve @cyrusandhiscollaredahirts @colddays-heavyrain @xoxohollands​ @spidey-reids-2003​ @annacipher101​ @pink-or-red-roses​ @hollandprkr​ @cazslaughter​ @armitageskywalker​ @smellslikecraiglist​ @naikaryofficial​ @prismroot-starlight0​ @tjitskedotinga​ @nicholas-nikki​ @marvel4geeks​ @itscaminow​ @iiamdeadinsidee​ @reality0verfantasy​ @tonywinnergavincreel​ @avxcodo​ @s-trawberryv-eins​ @ithoughtthiswastwitterbutfr​ @lozzypoz321​ 

Taglist is open! These tags are from the people that were interested in the series before! I won’t add y’all again for the next chapter but if you’re interested in the series still, leave a comment on the series masterlist, or send an ask and I’ll add you to the official taglist! 

Hope you enjoyed! Thank you!

[kidney9-9]

Petty Chapter 5

Yay it’s updated, I hope you enjoy! MJ in this series is not a love interest of Peter Parker, but she is friends with him and Ned. In this chapter, you’ll see the struggle going on with the Reader, as she tries to make a decision about Peter Parker. 

Tags will be in the reblog; to be added to the taglist send me an ask, or click the link in my bio to fill out the form :) Let me know if I forget you in the taglists as well, or if my tags aren’t working. Thank you!

Series Masterlist  

Peter Parker x Reader  Warnings: Swearing and some anxiety Word Count: 1.6k

You shuffled the mini cookies into your mouth as you read through the lines over again. You muffled your mouth shut as the teacher glanced over to your desk, and you moved your head down even more towards the desk, trying to lose his attention. History class was… it was shit. You were terrible at it, and you needed those notes, but Peter ruined them.

The pre-exam made no sense to you, because all the questions were so mixed up. It included questions about the type of clothing people would wear, and the language, but you barely paid attention to any of that stuff, instead you tried memorizing the dates and certain names. It sucked. You glanced up to the clock, instantly wincing when you noticed you only had five minutes left, and you just got to the second page of it.

You couldn’t stop thinking about Peter either, which did you no good now. You were going to apologize, maybe even try to get to understand why he wanted to be a stupid superhero, but now you felt even more pissed. You cleared your throat, shaking your head at yourself to stop thinking about him, and focus on the test.

You scribbled down random things at the end of the test, for the bonus question, just hoping your teacher would be forgiving. The bell rang the second you sat your pencil down, causing you to sigh. As you glanced over your exam quickly, you cringed, realizing some of the mistakes you made and you bit your lip, shaking your head as you stood up.

“Look- I don’t know what to do, you’re going to be stuck here during vacation. I have to go out of town for those meetings, and they booked my flights really far apart. You’re old enough to stay home for three weeks by yourself as well, and I’ll send you money for food and supplies.” Your mom rambled on the phone as you strolled through the halls. She called you a few minutes ago, telling you about this sudden trip, and you didn’t know what else to do but feel worried.

“Mom, but what about, what if someone breaks in?” You questioned her back, stressing about the idea of being home alone and the exams coming up. Your mind spun up with many other possibilities about everything, while your mom laughed back, thinking you were just joking, “It’ll be fine. You’re already an adult, just see this as practice.” She responded.

You cleared your throat as you found a seat outside. “I’ll see you tonight for dinner though, right?” Your question was left unanswered as your mom yelped out, “Oh got to go, Simon’s calling,” You sighed as she hung up. You glanced around, looking for any of your friends as the second bell rang, signaling the official end of school.

You hummed, not seeing any and looked back down to your phone. Should I? You wondered as the thought of Peter Parker came back to your mind. Your finger edged over the Twitter app, as you thought if you should look him up. You clicked on it after another second of hesitation and sighed as you quickly typed out his name. “Shouldn’t be doing this…” You mumbled to yourself, clicking on his profile. You bit your lip, almost nervous as you scrolled to his latest tweets. You raised your eyebrows as you started to read them over, “Does anyone have notes for English? Lost them and freaking out about exam.” You pouted at it, instantly feeling guilty again.

Should you feel guilty though? Not exactly, since he destroyed your notes for History, causing you to fail, or at least barely pass that class. That history test was supposed to boost your grade just the slightest, so when you failed the real exam (because you were terrible at memorizing history), it would lower your grade to a C, or around 70%. Sure, even that grade wasn’t that “good”, but it was passing, and you could retake it during the summer, before college.

Speaking of college, your application to NYU was accepted for now. You were happy with that. If everything worked out, you’d be going there. You scrolled through Peter’s twitter again, still feeling the ounce of guilt build up into something more, as you started to bounce your fingers against the bench. The doors opened again, and you glanced up, seeing a few of your friends and classmates. You grinned to a few of them, waving as your leg started to bounce nervously.

You looked back down to your phone after the door closed again, and you scrolled all the way back up to the top, rereading his last tweet. You hummed, shaking your head to yourself, “Oh, fuck it.” You decided, getting up in an instant and stumbling to the door nervously.

You needed to help him.

That was the human thing to do, right? Or the villain redeeming themselves? Yes, it was, you nodded, coming to terms in your head.

Where was Peter though? You looked at random people, groaning as you couldn’t see his face, and stomped through most of the first hallway, confused. You huffed out a sigh and leaned up against one of the walls, glancing around. A few people still were walking around, and you knew for sure that Peter or one of his friends still had to be here. You glanced down the hall, back to the lockers he lifts in the mornings sometimes and wondered if he’d even let you help. It was quite a dumb idea now that you thought of it.

He was close to hating you, and you were close to hating him. But why did you even want to help him after he fucked up your history grade? You kept second guessing and thinking yourself, he was a complete asshole! Why would you even help?

You groaned aloud when you thought of an answer immediately, because he’s hot, and because he’ll be held back probably without help. Your groan was heard by MJ, and she furrowed her eyebrows at you slightly, recognizing you as the girl that fucked Peter’s grades up, he told her the whole story so many times.

She cleared her throat, staring at you almost indifferently, “What are you doing?” She questioned causing you to snap out of your thoughts. You let out a strange noise, shaking your head as you thought about what to say. “I just- uh, nothing.” You responded, stuttering back to her.

You knew her from your freshman year computer science class, which was boring to say the least. You remembered how she would turn her computer off ten minutes into class and scroll through her phone instead, because the teacher never paid attention. “It’s MJ, right?” You asked politely, scratching your head. She nodded, raising her eyebrows back to you.

You both stood there, almost awkwardly. You blinked, realizing you’ve seen her hang out near Peter before, or with him. You opened your mouth for a second before closing it, wondering if you should really go through with this plan.

You listed the pros in your head: he might be kind to you, he’ll forgive you, your mom won’t be upset with you anymore, and your cousin will act normally again. Cons would be everything fucking up and backfiring. You let out a sigh at the thoughts, before you focused on MJ again, seeing she was still standing there.

You had to do it.

“Hey, MJ, you know Peter Parker, right?” Fuck, fuck, nope, you instantly regret it. But you watched as MJ tilted her head back to you suspiciously. You griped onto your hands, tugging on your fingers nervously as she nodded back to you.

MJ didn’t know what to say except this, “You’re not going to kill him, are you?” Your face melted into a weirdly guilty look as you laughed back, holding back a groan at yourself. No, you weren’t going to kill him, and even if you were, you wouldn’t tell one of his friends. That would just be dumb.

“No, of course not! He’s fucking Spi-” You cut yourself off, cringing in distress at the almost slip up, and quickly covered over it, “He’s fucking splendid, I love him so very much.” You lied through your teeth, almost wanting to roll your eyes at yourself.

“Great,” MJ smirked back, chuckling quietly at your obvious devastation, knowing what you were trying to hide. “Were you going to confess to him? I’ll go with you.” She continued, causing you to groan, shaking your head.

You wanted to crawl in a hole and stay there. Like a rabbit, or a gopher. Or maybe one of those bears that go into hibernation, you quickly shook your head at the thoughts, getting distracted.  “I- no, I just wanted to talk to him about the English exam.” You explained back to her, dropping your head low to stare at the floor.

Wow, the floor was very interesting now. It looked amazing in fact, to the point you’d- okay, stop. You blinked back up to MJ, listening as she explained where Peter was.

He was out back at the football stadium, sitting under the bleachers with Ned and a few other classmates. You thanked her and briefly apologized to her for lying about loving him, which she laughed over, shrugging it off. You huffed quietly to yourself as you started to walk back outdoors, preparing yourself to just ask if he’d like any help. Maybe he wouldn’t want it, you had no idea, but you were about to find out.

[kidney9-9]

Petty Chapter 4 (Peter Parker)

Hi, hope you enjoy this chapter of Petty, I loved writing it! In this chapter, Peter Parker and Reader meet again and bring the two to a point they can’t stand each other. I don’t own this gif, credit goes to the creator.

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Series Masterlist

Peter Parker x Reader  Warnings: cursing and slight violence Word Count: 1.7k

You were stuck on that day, rethinking everything after your cousin had passed out. You didn’t even know what to do now, with Peter glaring at you, every chance he had. You felt guilty even more than possible, but you were trying to convince yourself not to be. It was just something you couldn’t hold back. You would tell yourself, “Peter deserves it, don’t worry” but that never worked out. You groaned at yourself, shaking your head. It all made you feel stupid now, compared to how you did that because you thought Peter was dumb.

Mandy refused to talk to you now. You were alright with it, knowing she would probably drive to your home in the middle of the night to randomly take you out to roller-skate. It was something she always did to you, whenever your actions affected her in a negative way. Whenever she did something like that to you, she’d apologize by taking you out roller skating as well. It was a fun tradition to end a feud.

Your mom was disappointed in both you and Mandy. She wouldn’t have known about it in the first place if Mandy managed to shut up. Your mom would just stare at you at dinner now, instead of talk about things, something that made you feel even worse and more uncomfortable. Your mom was one of your best friends, so it was off putting whenever she was in the same room as you now.

You scrunched your face up, remembering how she muttered his name at you before you left for school this morning. “Peter Parker…” Something you would usually scoff at but now you’d want to throw things everywhere and cry at the same time. He still pissed you off, no matter what. But that guilt was immense.

You would just pass him through the hallways. Something that was usually normal, but now intense. He’d glare at you, slam his fist into a locker, but never made any action to just talk to you. It wasn’t something you’d expect from a superhero, and it made you think. Were you his villain of high school? You cringed at the thought, but then you sighed. Were you the villain of your own story as well? Was Peter the villain? Nothing made sense, but you couldn’t stop thinking about it.

If you were a villain, you were at best a shitty D-list one.

You could have kept quiet about everything. Something that sounds so easy, but it just poured out of you, like you were in a Shakespearean parody. The antagonist villain is always defeated in movies now. But Peter made no play against you. Nothing to take revenge against you.

That just made you feel more guilty. If he did do something, you would somehow theorize and conclude that what you did to him was just. At the same time, you couldn’t just say “Sorry, you’re probably going to be held back.” As well as, “Sorry my cousin blackmailed you.”

By the time you reached your locker, you sighed in relief. He wasn’t here for some reason. He was usually in this hallway, just staring at you, but this morning he wasn’t. You opened your locker, glancing inside to look for your notes for history, but frowned in confusing. Nothing was there. At all, it was just completely empty.

You felt a dread of anxiety pulse through you. You needed those notes for history today, it was important. It was the pre-exam, and without those notes today, you would be fucked. Some stupid test to make sure you knew everything before the actual exam, but the teacher graded it as well. It was worth 10% and without it, you cringed at just thinking of the score.

You shoved yourself more into the locker, just pushing your head in to see better, as if you were hallucinating. You glanced at the top of your locker, furrowing your eyebrows when you saw a paper tapped on it. You pushed yourself out, ignoring people’s looks and stares at you, ripping the paper out. You clutched it hard, slamming your locker shut, and pushed your back against it.

You opened the paper quickly, ignoring the tape falling to the floor. You squinted, reading it over again. “Music room in 10 minutes.” What the fuck? You crumpled it, shoving it deep down in your pocket, glancing down the hallway. Class started in thirty minutes, so you had time. You knew it was Parker, definitely.

The music room was huge. Last year the school decided to tear down the wall into another classroom, to expand the music room. It acted as a small assembly room sometimes, but normally it was just for music. You walked down the hall, feeling nervous as you started to turn the corner to enter the room.

People smiled at you, greeting you as they usually did in the hallway, but you didn’t respond. You were too nervous, wondering what would happen. You trembled, setting your hand on the doorknob. You shook your head at yourself, slightly scoffing. Like he would do anything on schoolgrounds right? Before you could open the door though, someone from the inside did.

You let go of the doorknob, surprised. No one walked out, so you pumped yourself up for half a second, before stepping in. You cleared your throat slightly, glancing to whoever opened the door. You knitted your eyebrows, not seeing anyone.

“You need to fix my grades.” You jumped at his voice, spinning around in panic. Peter stepped forward, and you wanted to groan at him. He was in his Spiderman costume again, something you just didn’t agree with, seeing as how he was at school, and now with people just outside the room. You tilted back, hitting the door slightly to close it.

“I can’t! And stop- you’re being dumb” You paused, waving your hands out in front of you, just more concerned that his identity would be completely revealed, “Stop that shit.” You pushed out, finishing your sentence.

Peter shook his head back at you, glancing down to his suit. He didn’t have his mask on either. He pushed out a few hours before school, doing an extra shift around the neighborhood, knowing crime rates had gone up in the past month. “I need you to change them back!” He retorted, letting his anger get to him.

He couldn’t believe you were the reason that he was failing a fucking English class. “I don’t understand why you even did it in the first place! Are you just a bad person? That enjoys seeing others like this?” He ranted again, stepping closer to you. He pushed out a plastic bag he was carrying, filled with your notes and objects from your locker. He dropped it between the two of you.

“Peter…” You trailed off, staring down at the bag. “It’s just- I thought it was dumb, that essay you wrote. I know you’re Spiderman and it’s supposed to be a secret, but when you go and write about Spiderman? No, that’s just not safe. I was just pissed off that’s all?” You ended your weirdly apologetic statement with a questioning tone.

Peter stared at you in astonishment. “It’s dumb?” He repeated, throwing his hands up in irritation and anger. You raised your eyebrows back at him, nodding. “As well as you just fucking flying into the school! You know how many times you could have been caught? And what the fuck is that name?” You ranted back, as if feeling his anger flow into you.

Peter felt himself stutter in anger back at you, as the two of you got even closer to each other. “The name? Spiderman? Fuck- I’m sorry that name bothers you to the point you illegally ruin my chances of graduating! You’re such a fucking bitch!” His words came spitting harshly at you, making you shake your head quickly.

“I’m a bitch? Please, what should my superhero name be? Dog-Girl? What’s my superpower, barking?” You scoffed back sarcastically.

You just then realized how close he was. You blinked back at him, feeling heat rush to your face from his closeness and anger. You two were close enough to just almost breathe in the other. It made you have a weird reflection, knowing you probably shouldn’t be arguing with him now. You sighed lightly, watching as Peter shivered at the feeling hitting his neck.

At the same time, you two stepped far back from each other. He glanced down at the plastic bag again, frowning at it. “Since you fucked up my grades, enjoy this fucking gift, Dog-girl.” He muttered, raising his hand to the bag, and activated his web-shooter.

In an instant he shot it out, watching as the solution sprayed itself across your items, “No!” You shouted out, watching as it melted itself into everything, attaching to the floor. You scoffed back up to Peter, rolling your eyes. You needed those notes for history, it was the only thing that could save you today.

Peter felt his heart drop at his actions. It was just a moment of anger, but he could see the pure feeling of lost on your face. Even if it was just for a history class, he felt guilty. Even the people he didn’t like, for example, Flash, wouldn’t have done that. It was just like you did to him though, he didn’t know how to feel now. The two of you stood in silence, until you spoke up.

You licked your lips, squeezing your eyes closed. “You know superheroes have an unspoken rule of hierarchy. Something everyone knows, it’s common sense. Iron-Man would be at the top, something everyone can agree on. He- he almost is seen as an angel, someone who has wings that can cover the whole world in one swoop.” You paused.

“And you? You’re nowhere near him. The only thing that might connect you two, is that your wings are the size of a chicken’s, never going to be able to fly, watching him in envy. You’re never going to amount to anything Tony Stark does.”

Peter didn’t know what to think about other than your words the rest of the day. It burned, stung into him, as if an actual spider had bit him. Even though it was funny that you compared him to a chicken and the wings, he knew that your words held a truth to them. He didn’t know if he could live up to anything of his mentor and father figure.

But at the same time, he’ll die trying.

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