#i think I should just not exercise
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I hate exercising on my period but the guilt of not exercising runs sooooo strong
#i think I should just not exercise#but I’ve only exercised twice this week and that makes me anxious!!!#i am a girl in panic#tw: exercise
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Do you ever think about how Fitz, Nighteyes, and Beloved are a thematic tryptich of the past, the present, and the future
#rach reads rote#rote#just thinking about them when i should be doing my somatic tracking exercises oops
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just troll with it au. because riptide killed my theythemma okay.
#this was just a fun design exercise and then i was like “what if reuben put chip in a bong and ripped that shit” and it kind of. escalated.#jrwi#jrwi riptide#jay ferin#gillion tidestrider#jrwi pretzel#jrwi chip#reuben price#avepharts#just troll with it#jrwi trolls au#if you're unfamiliar with trolls. jay is a country troll gill is a techno troll (pretzel is a fucking. drop button) and chip is a pop troll#he's just also troll depressed. and his style has some rock troll influences because i think arlin would be a rock troll.#anyway i should mention im not really in the trolls fandom i just watched 3 and fixated on it lmao#oh wait#tw drugs#i. guess.
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hotel manager
#zeno's art#i'm not sure if i should tag the show itself as i'm not a fan but i guess its “fan”art so i will#hazbin hotel#charlie hazbin hotel#vivziepop#i was bored and wanted to draw something#my main goal here was to create a design that looked distinct and could (potentially) be moderately easy to animate#of course based on charlie's character i added as many angel images as possible through the hair and bowtie#(i know white on white is a character design sin but i wanted to show the angel wing detail ;w;)#also to express the personality and juxtaposition of a sweet devil her horns are supposed to curve into a heart shape#of course the garterbelts are upside-down/st peters crosses because of her satanic themes#i also tried to go harder into the goat theme but its still subtle i think#i actually think the goat theme is really interesting because of the story of the sheep and the goats in the bible#but i cant remember if it was actually something intended in her original design#i'm not going to draw anyone else so dont even anticipate that#this was basically a cooldown? ok i think i'm rambling now#goodbye#ok edit to say it clearly: i am not a fan of vivziepop or her work. i just wanted to redesign charlie as a cooldown/exercise for fun#because i used to be a fan of the character before i wised up about what vivzie had and has done#and before i matured and noticed the cracks and fundamental flaws in her works#so yea i dont support her at all and this redesign is critical i guess#also the reason why the tag “vivziepop” is there in the first place is so that anyone who has that tag silenced can scroll past#without seeing anything related to her work. in case that clears anything up#its the same reason why i tag “long post” and “food” and the like
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Taking notes from Frankenstein bc it's the only way I can get myself to READ ✌️

#technically the audiobook but i really REALLY like the dude's voice i fw it HEAVYYY#i think that i should do this with fics and stuff too bc i feel bad#so many of my mutuals do fics and i just cant read them bc it feels like homework!!#and i wanna read them really bad so#this was a fun exercise and i wanna do it again#art#my art#frankenstein fanart#frankenstein's monster#adam frankenstein#traditional art#concept sketches#sketch notes
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Guys, I love Double life and I love the Warden so much it's not funny. That is Tango's baby yes sir-
A big thank you to @cannimochi for actually watching double life with me and so now I get to give you guys these doodles yes sir <3
#ESRMT AU :>#Madi's art :>#tangotek#the warden minecraft#tango fanart#tangotek fanart#trafficblr#life series#double life#fanart#JUST OH DOUBLE LIFE HAS GIVEN ME SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MANY IDEAS FOR THIS AU IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY#JUST OUGHHHH I HAVE SCENES I WANNA DRAW AND TYPE OUT SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BADLY JUST OUGH#instead we get baby Warden a.k.a Rancher's Revenge a.k.a Venny for short cause Rancher's revenge is far too long#JUST I'M SOOOOO OH I AM SO RANCHERS PILLED AFTER THIS WHAT DO YOU MEAN “WELCOME HOME HONEY” AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN “YOU'RE AMAZING” FOR#BRINGING BACK FOUR (4) COWS. WHAT DO YOU MEAN COMPLIMENTING TANGO'S BUILD SKILLS AND TELLING HIM HE'S GONNA BUILD THE WATCH TOWER#AND THEN WHEN HE'S THINKING ABOUT IT AND SAYING PROBABLY NOT JIMMY TELLS HIM HE SHOULD#JUST OUGHHHHH I'M SHAKING THEM SO BADLY IT'S BADDDD I LOVE THEM TRULY#AND THE SOULMATE TRUST EXERCISES PLEASEEEE THAT WAS SO SILLY TO MY FLOWER RANCHERS HEART LIKE YES SCOTT! TEST FOR BOYFRIENDS' TRUST WITH#EACH OTHER YES DJVNJDFBNFG IT'S SILLY#just I'm gonna stop now BUT GAWDDDD I HAVE FEELINGS OKAY OKAY#Ru :D!!
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google search writing prompts
google search good writing prompts
google search writing prompts that aren't bad
google search writing prompts that are not stupid and in the very particular tone of certain social media writing communities that i do not especially care for
GOOGLE SEARCH WRITING PROMPTS PLEASE AAAHHHH
#maybe i would have better luck looking for a random word generator#seems like all of the writing prompts i find under these searches are extremely specific#describing specific scenarios and characters and actions#almost always in a way i find extremely off putting#i think i really just want a Word or Concept to gnaw on like a teething puppy#not a fucking mad libs exercise in patience lmao#or maybe i should just go to dictionary dot com
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isabeau believes in you!
#isat#in stars and time#isabeau isat#isabeau#isat fanart#my art#fanart#full artworks#tried my hand at drawing similarly to the game artstyle#think it came out good! this was definitely an exercise in “don't think poorly about the lineart + rendering until you are done”#EDIT: I should clarify I don't think the lineart came out bad! i just felt that way during the process and wouldn'tve finished the piece if#i listened to that annoyance
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I'd have been much less intimidated by the idea of writing poetry if I'd known that all you have to do is:
Have a thought
Write it down
Find a cooler way to say it
#plus there are pre-made (yet totally optional) cool formats that make writing feel like solving a puzzle!#it also helps that i don't expect any of these to be good#so i can just throw words down and be pleasantly surprised if any of them sound good#this is also a good exercise for my easily-distracted brain#instead of thinking up an image or idea or vibe and saying 'i should create a story that can use that'#the image/vibe/idea can be the whole project!#nice change of pace#adventures in writing#poetry
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love bktd yuri so much. something so romantic about two girls.

#two girls always criticised for being too outspoken or loud or aggressive or cold#ill be honest theres not much different to how i headcanon the characters#its just a character design exercise to me#except maybe bkg gives the Give Me Your 100% to any guy who thinks he should go soft on her#lmfaoooo pisses her OFF like CRAZYYY
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me: i'm super tired what if i go to bed early
my brain: what if you, after attempting to go to sleep, instead sit up in bed again, grab your laptop, and write 2000 words of jimmy having watcher religious trauma
#anyway#i havent even gotten to half the point of this fic yet#the idea is loosely:#1. evo is like a religious cult community for the watchers that jimmy was born into#2. jimmy has like. mega levels of being messed up about slowly loosing his faith/seeing through this#3. the listeners recruit jimmy as they did in evo to defy the watchers#4. the evolutionists (some; there's a lot of off screen ocs) follow the listeners and Get Out of Evo#5. jimmy sort of lives as a real world person. likes it. is still guilty over it.#6. the Games begin.#7. the general ummm. trauma#8. jimmy slips and prays to the watchers again. just anything to stop it <- we have now reached tiktok timeline#idk what happens next#i think martyn should catch him doing this in wild life and maybe call him on it#but i think it should be vague if jimmy's actually gone back or not#this is not a feel good story lmao and i can't say if i will actually finish it. (i have reached to bullet number 2 tonight)#also this whole thing is held together by vibes and prayers because i'm a little rusty on some of my lore knowledge#like i knew all this years ago but i havent exercised the traffic series watcher lore muscle for a hot second#and i dont really care about accuracy
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I understand how uncomfortable part of the fandom feels with the new trailer. It’s the same feeling I get when I see domestic life w kids posts.
#omi.rambles#but yk what I don’t do? I don’t go harassing other people#even when those posts aren’t tagged appropriately#yes appropriately#anything can trigger anyone#but also ppl that have triggers should recognize them and avoid#I just scroll pass and continue with my life#do breathing exercises if I read something that upsets me. control my own mind.#or saw something+#I don’t even bother sending asks with *could you tag X or Y?*#BECAUSE ITS NOT SOMETHING THATS REQUIRED OR OBLIGATORY#tw rant#that’s being emotionally responsible.#also part of having triggers is being aware of them and being prepared. bc a triggered person is somehow dangerous in itself.#like that’s basic therapy stuff (me thinks).#you know. you prepare. you learn to live like this.#I am actively living with triggers. I can’t ask the bus driver to hold a sign with their trigger warnings
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Also sorry i havent been drawing much lately 😭
#i come from classes being exhausted…i forget we are just passing mid-term#like wdym im already halfway through..so I just come home and lay down#and scroll on insta…i should stop that but also lately I haven’t had ideas on what to draw#still working on the comic!! but it is slower#i should ask for drawing requests sometime#just to exercise yknow#also completely unrelated but i decided to watch bride of discord for the fun of it#omitting THAT part I think 12/13 year old me wouldve gobbled this up#also ive been writing chapter summaries of my au and i want to challenge myself how far I can go#currently i just finished w chapter 8’s summary#also sorry idk why im just ranting here#txt
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today my mom was like "do you know you can come to me for help and support?" well. um. no
#very interesting conversations with my mother today.......#she said some things that were good and some things that weren't#idk whenever i criticize something she does she always says how everyone thinks she's insane for supporting me in the way she does#like she does too much for me#(i am disabled)#(even before i was physically disabled to this extent i was disabled)#and just because other people think she's lost her mind because she. tries to do things for me.#doesn't mean that she's doing enough#i've posted about the things she's told me a lot. and i've told a lot of people even more#she...has no idea how my chronic illness works#i did bring up getting a wheelchair and to her credit she didn't immediately hate it#but it revealed a lot about how she thinks it all works#''as long as your legs work you should get your strength back slowly''#well you see. that's not how it works.#that's really not how it works#''it's what i know'' well it's. it's wrong#i have me/cfs#i can't get my strength back by exercising a little bit every day#it's not how it works!#i understand it seems logical to her#but it's not how it works. i can point to any articles about how graded exercise therapy isn't recommended#honestly as terrible as she is about me being disabled#the rest of my family is so much worse#my father had a plan for me or whatever.#my sister thinks my mother is keeping me at home.#christ.#i'm DISABLED i'm CHRONICALLY ILL.#AND I WILL BE DISABLED FOR THE REST OF MY FUCKING LIFE#i don't know what my future looks like. but trying to do what i would have done if i weren't chronically ill won't help me#my father doesn't care about who i am
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one thing that i don't think we talk about enough is the connection between fatphobia/skinnyphobia and ableism. like how many times have you heard someone say "i'm just concerned about their health", "they're so skinny they look sickly", "their weight will cause health problems" etc, said in a derogatory tone. and yeah sometimes weight is linked to health problems. that is true. but how is that a bad thing? when people scoff at overweight or underweight people and justify it with "they must be so unhealthy", it not only reinforces beauty standards as they pertain to size, but it also implies that health is morally good, and anyone who "looks unhealthy" (and of course not everyone who is overweight or underweight is unhealthy, that's just a connection people make because beauty standards are so fucked up) is morally reprehensible. i know i'm not the first person to say it, far from it, but i do think health should be discussed more when we're talking about body image and the pressure put on people, and especially women, to look a certain way. it's not just about size, it's about not showing any signs that you may struggle with your health in any way. whether it's hormonal imbalances, mental health, or anything else. the pressure put on people, and again, women especially, to look a certain way, is (and this just an example) one of the reasons why it still takes some people years to get diagnosed with pcos. you get told that if you're gaining weight, then you should go to the gym and diet to lose it. you get asked how many burgers you've had in the past month. because if your weight is "abnormal" then it must be because of something bad you did. if you're unhealthy it must be your fault. god forbid every body be naturally different and react to things differently. so anyway idk how to end this but like, body shaming and health shaming often go hand in hand and, i think, should be treated as a joint issue.
#rain posts#idk if this is coherent#i'm just so tired of struggling with my health and being told to exercise more#i'm tired of my little sister being told to monitor everything they eat because they're gaining weight#BY THEIR ENDOCRINOLOGIST#like we KNOW my sister has a hormonal imbalance#they went through puberty at like 7 years old#and yet their doctor (and my mum) keeps telling them to diet#i'm so tired of being told that fat = bad and that unhealthy = bad#and that if you're unhealthy you should at least try to hide it#you can't look fat because then people might know you're sick#or think you're sick even when you're not#if i start to scream i'll never stop
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had felt So physically good for a couple of days in a row but :[ yesterday & today i am back to feeling Fucking Terrible again
#keeping it fun and funky fresh#personal#i need a chronic illness tag#fuck.#it definitely seems like i *started* feeling bad bc i had too small a lunch too late yesterday#but that was 26 hours ago#and i've had multiple full meals + a full night's sleep since then#and i am still weak+shaky+achy+twitchy as well as nauseous+gassy and foggy+anxious+low#i think i maybe had heart palpitations this morning 😣 and i keep feeling like i need to take a couple Really Deep breaths#as if i'm breathing very shallowly & could just forget to take the next one#i had been feeling so good. i actually got exercise on thursday that left me feeling *better* afterwards#it's been literally years since that happened#turns out mobility devices really do help with mobility. i should use a wheelchair more often i guess.#and friday i like. proactively got housework done? i got really restful nights' sleep several nights in a row??#and then sunday around noon:30 i just started feeling. bad. and then worse and worse.#my friend max thought it might line up w/ barometric pressure bc it did storm? but the pressure dropped hard on *saturday* and i felt fine#and it was rebounding by sunday late morning & is back near its previous level#i hate this i hate this.#my mom's brother has severe diabetes#and the last time i had my a1c checked (exactly 1 year ago) it was just under the threshold of Pay Attention To This#and since then i have been forced to completely quit literally almost all physical activity whatsoever#and gone through uhhhhhh an unimaginable amount of stress.#let's just say i'm worried.
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