#i think he is the last stock available online everywhere

[ryllen]

Wait a sec,

Isn't sebek just too cute to stand beside Malleus plush in this get up ?? 🫣💞

[thirsthourdemon]

Headcanon on their online platforms but mainly on Twitch, onlyfans stuff, patreon, tumblr

Includes: Demon bros + undateablesss

Genre: Crack, Fluff and slight smut

Warnings: NSFW mentions

||Lucifer

-He didn’t have a big online presence because he was active, no no

-He had an online presence cause everyone always sees him on Diavolo s pictures and such so for a time they shared an audience

-One time Diavolo and Barbatos were doing a thing where they read a book aloud for some sort of game

-Diavolo kind of recorded that for a little bit

-ASMR I TELL YOU

-People liked it so much they suggested for “the one with the deep cold voice”, luci, to do asmr on youtube or something

-He doesn’t know what an Onlyfans is however he does have a patreon.

-Diavolo was interested in the idea and discussed it with him

-HE BLEW UP CAUSE EVERYONE WAS FREAKING OUT OVER HOW AMAZING HIS VOICE WAS OF COURSE! 😡

-His fandom consists of either people who are interested in what he reads or...Horny people who get off at how proper and low his voice is

-His profile picture is a picture of him with his head cropped out where he’s fixing his gloves

-Luci isnt like super famous but he has a loyal fanbase that appreciates him a lot also lots of simps with daddy issues

-He was confused as to why someone would ask him to be their father

-He gets the daddy kink but why???

-Last post: A picture MC took where he’s holding a whip cause mammon fucked something up 🙂

||Mammon

-Bold of us to assume he didn’t already have one

-You already know why he’s on here.

-He has random content but he mainly got his audience since he kind of tried modeling thing for a while. It was for a big brand on their new jock type jackets

-Mammon really wanted cash at that time and he got the thing over and done with making him a couple more grims richer

-The photographers told him they could transfer the pictures though! So he just saved his pictures because “Who wouldn’t want a picture of THE mammon?”

-That gave him the idea

-His audience? Whoreknee

-They even accept the fact that his captions for some pictures are “You should be honored you get pictures of me”

-He posts that with a blushing face half of the time HAHAHAHA

-Levi found it and just laughed at the pictures

-Surprisingly enough the pictures were actually well taken because MC was forced into em

-His most popular picture was the one with him was actually a picture that the brothers took of him tucking in what appeared to be goldie on a seperate MINI BED WITH A SMALL TOY LAMP BESIDE IT

-He did a QnA for his followers to celebrate on his instagram

-PFFTT He got so many questions about Goldie

-Was dubbed “Goldie’s Daddy” after that

-Last post: A picture of him wearing the new Luxury brand jacket he got and his keys in front of his car with the caption “Daddy’s going for a ride”

||Leviathan

-I’ve always head canon that Levi knows how to draw digital emotes. Like he just picked it up cause he wanted to make fanart of him in henry together 😔

-Also has a red bubble or an etsy where he sells some prints and stickers of fanart 👀

-He went on twitch since there were so many TSL streamers there who just played games while they discussed theories as well

-Levi is an emote artist and while he draws he sometimes just discusses the theories with his fellow Yucky Otakus

-He’s the type to really interact with everyone even though he barely does that in real life

-Sometimes though when he gets packages that fans sent or ones that he ordered he’d stream unboxing them.

-He hates showing his face? Oh dont worry He’s wearing a facemask and all that

-His fandom is genuinely into him. Like they actually like him as a person but kinda once got into a scandal on gatekeeping

-He took a break for a bit but he kind of said sorry and everyone just forgave him because he isn’t really the type to do drama and it was just that one instance-

-Overall loved by the community due to how chill he is and how invested he is on fan theories

-He has a twitter btw and lemme tell you it’s just threads and threads of discussions

-Whenever he does stream unboxing videos though and he shows his shelves everyone freaks out how he has EVERY FUCKING VOLUME OF EVERY ANIME AND GAME

-People sometimes ask him personal questions and he tries his best to try to answer them but he shows a face where he looks uncomfy

-Everyone just bullies anyone who makes him uncomfy giving his fanbase a very protective reputation

-Last post: “Unboxing fanmail L8er @ 10pm LOL CYA GUYS XD”

||Satan

-He has a tumblr. You cant tell me he doesn’t have one.

-He had tumblr like back in the old day though like when porn was still available here.

-Get this...He’s known all through out the academia blogs. He INVENTED Academia

-Satan has 1 blog and that’s it. It’s his main blog and he just posts pictures of the book cover and does essays, reviews or sometimes he writes the ending he wanted to happen.

-Dont get me wrong he has a patreon but only because people loved getting more exclusive takes of stuff like his book notes on certain pages or sometimes his notes and thoughts on Artistic Erotica

-Probably has a Ko-Fi because he though he needed it after most of the blogs he followed had it

-He thinks it should be “Table of Content” and not “Masterlist” so he uses just that

-Profile picture is him wearing his signature washed out green grandma sweater while he has a book in hand and a cup of earl grey on his table

-People go to him falling in love with his aesthetic and Book reviews but they stay in love with him because he is big on one on one discussions actually

-He goes for one on one voice calls where he just...He talks to you about any book of your choosing

-Fans send him tea but he knows better than to eat something a stranger gives so he makes beel take a taste first sometimes but ultimately scolds the boy when he takes too much

-He wasn’t supposed to have merch but everyone liked the idea of small packages (More like letters) that really do look old and vintage

-He usually only give those to the people who pay for the top tier stuff

-It usually contains 1 type of tea, a letter he wrote for them himself and a bookmark with his name stamped on it

-He got the stamp custom made ❤️

-Last post: (Insert 5k word essay)

This is what I thought of Edgar Allan Poe’s “A cask of Amatillado”

Playlist: (Insert soft classic Music playlist on Spotify)

Tea: Black Currant

||Asmodeus

-ONLY FANS THROUGH AND THROUGH

-Is a brand influencer as well

-The brand ambassador of this pretty well known semi-luxury skin care brand

-His devilgram? Perfectly made by his PR team which is just him and solomon

-Before I move onto the NSFW stuff I want to emphasize how Beautiful his instagram is and his aesthetic

-His aesthetic is romantic/sexual tension/Unparalleled beauty

-Also a make up brand influencer and has his own make up line

-something along the lines of “The Devil’s box of charms 🖤”

-The type to DG live whenever he’s just showing off the make up look he did or the outfit he got

-The house of lamentation may have PR packages stacking up due to how most of them have an online influence but out of 10 boxes 7 of them would be for Asmo

-OKAY NOW ONTO NSFW STUFF

-Lemme tell you this...He has a specific drawer and space in his closet just for the sexy outfits he has.

-The demon’s onlyfans has pictures of him just teasing his audience where he’s wearing a black skintight get up and his bulge is showing

-Nudes are for mid and top tiers

-His fandom loves seeing in stocking and chokers

-“The choker is from etsy and here’s the link to their shop~”

-He doesnt completely show his body but...Him in suggestive clothing gets everyone pre cumming

-His fandom is just filled with simps 😔

-He loves them and blows a kiss towards the camera everytime he ends a live

-Probably has had a scandal or 4

-Posted an Ahegao once and everyone lost it

-Has been the face for Ahegaos ever since

-Belle delphine who?

-Definitely tik tok famous too 😎

-Has memorized all of Doja Cat’s songs

-Last post: “Hope you guys are ready for tonight’s session~ 😈” With a picture of him in an Fuchsia and black themed lingerie set. A collar with a bell on it.

-Bonus: One time Solomon summoned him while he was taking pictures and he was still in his lingerie set. 😛

||Beelzebub

-Was originally inspired by Mukbangs Channels so he did them on youtube too

-You get his Mukbangs on your recommended, You subscribe because of his cute and funny reactions whenever someone in the backgrounds is astounded to how much he’s eating

-Everyone knew beel as a cute guy who just does Mukbangs and loves to eat

-He once did a fridge raid and ended up eating everything in the fridge

-That was THE MOST CHAOTIC VIDEO on his channel cause you can just see luci and MC trying to make him stop

-He eventually got a patreon because mammon told him people will give him more money for food like that and to be honest he made a patreon but mammon takes care of it from time to time

-Oh you knew him as this sweet beautiful boy who just likes eating? hERe HavE sOmE WorKOUt pICs

-His body got everyone thirsty or may I say Starving

-S I M P S everywhere

-His patreon content is just him making small videos eating or pictures of him being all sweaty from the gym 😛💦

-“DADDY BWDONMXMSKC PLEASE FEED US”

-“Eh? You should feed me instead” *opens his mouth*

-Fans send him lots of boxes of weird food to see his reaction sometimes

-Did the fire noodle challenge a bit late but everyone is surprised to how he isn’t giving the reaction like they expected him

-Spice tolerance? Unmatched

-His fandom is either “UwU Beel please eat try this!” Or “Daddy Please FEED US WITH YOUR DELICIOUS THIGHS! 😩🥵💦💦💦”

-He does the service where he sends you his body building pictures except he isn’t sending them, Mammon is.

-Manager Mammon 😎 Gets a half of the profit

-Can I just...BeelProbablyHasnevergottenintoanyscandalbuthasalotofhaterssayingthefansonlylikehimforhishandsomefaceandgreatbodyandnicevoicebutlikewhatiswrongwithlikinghimbecauseofthosethings?Itisntbadtolikethatstuffatall

-Last post: “🍙 Thank you to @(Your Username) for the Onigiri! I finished the whole batch! Please send more food”

||Belphegor

-Sleep Guru

-Im sorry but I cant see him having any other social media aside from tumblr, twitter and Devilgram

-Belphie barely checks his phone but he has tumblr because apparently there’s a thing called the SandMan’s Box Community

-It’s like LootCrate, a subscription service that gives you stuff like Comfy Pillow sheets and tea for better sleeping

-This even gives you something like sleeping masks or ear muffs.

-The community is well...nocturnal

-His ask box is always full of his 100+ mutuals who just discuss stuff with him

-Whenever he actually does try to type online he makes articles about the best sleep positions or stuff like that

-His fandom is just loving mutuals who sleep and take care of each other

-They have a discord server where it just plays soft music to help everyone sleep

-Last post: “Humans aren’t so bad when they’re asleep”

||Luke and Simeon

-He has a big following on twitch where he just bakes sweets in his cute little hat and-

-Clearly you can tell I follow him on twitch

-The type of twitch streamer that no one hates on because why would you? He is literally just baking and cute comments

-Sometimes he streams with Simeon and everyone loves both of them

-When people give money they dont give “money” no no...they call donating headpats

-Luke is just so adorable that everyone just...

-“Angel Lulu’s Protection Squad⭐️”

-He got famous when he...He doesnt want to call it a collab but He made a lot of sweets and gave them to beel so everyone freaked out and thought

-THE SWEET BOY THAT EATS A LOT AND THE ANGELIC CHILD THAT MAKES SWEETS A LOT ARE FRIENDS?!

-He is now pissed that everyone thinks they’re friends 😠

-Basically his fans started making dishes and candy inspired by him

-Sometimes they send it in and Simeon has to confiscate some because

-“Im sorry, guys. You are all really sweet and I know that you mean well but Luke isn’t allowed much sweets yet”

-No one ever EVER lewds luke

-Fortunately Luke’s fandom has the least amount of pedophiles because everyone drives them away the moment they try something

-Whenever luke does fan mail/unboxing videos people just adore how Simeon places a glass of water at the table below the camera and the scissors or cutter he uses is child proof

-Even though Luke is the main person on his account everyone also notices Simeon.

-How couldn’t they? He looked like he wanted to make everyone in the audience live a better life

-Add that with luke’s wholesome baking and BOOM! You are now ready for a better life🌟

-Last post: It’s a picture of Luke shyly showing of his new batch of sun and moon shaped sugar cookies. “Sun and Moon. Tune in later at 3 pm to see how we made these!”

||Solomon

-He barely posts but he helps asmodeus with his stuff

-Too busy with anything else but helps out when things get interesting

-Proposes Ideas for Asmo sometimes when the demon doesn’t know what to wear for a live or a story

-Laughs at Asmo sometimes when he gets into scandals and drama

-Happy cameraman ❤️

-People follow him because 1.) He’s hot 2.) The fans ship him with Asmodeus

-Last Post: “When will you learn 🙂”

||Diavolo

-He is a vlogger~ Not a very active vlogger but a vlogger nonetheless

-He films anything he can but he’s more known on tik tok and devilgram rather than twitch or youtube

-People have been thirsting for him ever since and no one can convince me that they dont just shamelessly call him daddy whenever he goes on live

-Barbatos makes sure however that whenever it isnt appropriate anymore that he would tell diavolo to turn the camera off

-Wranggled Luci into his mess and now everyone knows the face of that one dude who just reads documents

-Everyone lowkey ships them

-Diavolo is the type to take a picture of a big meeting or a retreat out of instinct to just document his life

-He actually didnt know about vloggers before but he just liked the thought of documenting it

-Everyone picks up “Master” vibes as they say from him hehehe

-He doesnt have an Onlyfans or patreon 😔😔😔

-I honestly would have subscribed to his services

-Last post: “Barbatos made a delicious meal for us at the retreat today” Along with a picture of the Beautiful Demon Delicacy Spread in the table.

Taglist: No one yet (Please be part of the taglist for more content like this ☹️ It’s getting really discouraging)

[rpmemesbyarat]

RP Meme from " Corax" in "Chapter Two: The Changing Breeds" from the World of Darkness "Changing Breeds" book (20th Anniversary edition)

Seriously? Who writes this stuff?

You’re never going to learn the real story about who you are from that hack.

You know how the littlest kid is always the one who runs to Mom with every little thing their siblings do wrong? That’s us. We’re the tattletales.

You know why we can’t settle down? Cuz they’re everywhere, so we have to be, too.

We’re built to go everywhere, see everything. No homebodies allowed.

If there are secrets going on, you can bet there’s one of us, listening in, poking around, getting a gander — so to speak.

We see something going on — we gotta spread the word.

No, I don’t mean porn — well, not just porn, anyway.

We make the Net look like a buncha clay tablets with “Cleo Was Here” scrawled on them. We’re bleeding edge, eyes-in-the-sky, grade A, number one know-it-alls.

Information’s no good if the messenger can’t deliver it.

Oh, we’re nasty enough in a scrap, and we’ve got a few tricks up our sleeves, but the truth is we’re not built for going toe-to-toe.

Fight sneaky, the way we do everything else, and you’re more likely to survive to tell a tale — or pull a prank — another day.

Most of the time, there’s a method to our madness, a lesson in the lemon-meringue.

See, some folks just don’t listen the easy way.

You should know where your allegiances lie.

Find stuff. Tell people.

Laugh, because the world ain’t getting any prettier.

You’re learning already. But, here’s something you gotta know; Once I finish teaching you the basics, you’re on your own.

Now, don’t look like that.

I mean, what’s the good of gathering stories if you don’t get to tell them in front of a group every now and then?

As for specific operations, well, I can’t tell you much beyond “they exist”, because I don’t know.

If you’re heading in a way that crosses winds with one of them, they’ll find you and tell you what you need to know about hooking up with them.

High tech, big business, politics? We’re there too.

Japan? Europe? The Middle East? You name it, one of us has an eye on it.

Well, let’s just say that if you turn over enough stones, you’re eventually going to find more than dirt underneath one.

Do your job right, and there’s a good chance you’ll find yourself in a heap of trouble soon or later.

Quit thinking so literally!

The possibilities are, as they say, endless.

Between Facebook, Twitter, and all that jazz, almost everyone has some sort of internet presence — and online friends — these days.

A couple of dummy accounts armed with stock photos and a fake bio, and suddenly I’m “friends” with whatever patsy I’m looking for more info on.

If I’m lucky, he’ll keep a running dialogue with his hundred closest buddies about where he’s “checking in” for the meeting I want to listen in on.

If I’m really lucky, he’ll jump on instant messaging and try to impress his new “follower” with some handy details that can be used against him.

Of course, if I’m unlucky, I might end up with pictures of his naked junk, but even those can be used for blackmail or sold off to the highest bidder — it’s gross, but hey, them’s the breaks in the info business.

Government agencies are required to make certain files accessible to the public. So, a lot of that stuff we used to have to wing it down to the archives office to get a gander at is now available on a point-and-click basis through one website or another.

If you can get a hacker on your side, there’s almost nothing you can’t find out about someone.

Debit card transaction records, ISP cookie files, internet site caches, phone and text message logs? Easy breezy, lemon-squeezy, if you know what I mean.

Don’t get me wrong. We were made to do what we do — and to do it well. Like any fine piece of equipment, form follows function, and all that jazz.

I thought that might get your attention.

What? You don’t know that one? I’ll tell you later.

The thing? Where you drink the stuff from a corpse’s eye, and you see the last thing it saw before it died?

Oh, come on now; don’t make that face. You’ll take to it quick enough.

There’s no better way to get information on what killed some poor schmuck, or why it was done.

See, that’s another thing about being one of us. That whole discretion thing? Not so much. We can’t shut up.

Hey, don’t tell me you noticed; that’s disrespectful.

Information wants to be free, and it’s hard as hell for us to hold back when we know a juicy tidbit.

You probably have noticed that there’s some differences between, say, me and you.

You’re probably more comfortable that way, cuz it’s how you were born.

Y’all are usually pretty cliquish, talkative — even by our standards — and a little fuzzy on the notion of property rights where shiny things are concerned.

We tend toward the twitchy loner type.

We’re generalists, built to survive anywhere, under any circumstances.

Sure, it’s fun to go poking after spooky stuff; all kinds of interesting things hiding out in the shadows.

Just make sure if you join up with a band of these guys, that at least one of you has the brains to keep an eye on where the exits are.

Don’t be dumb enough to think stumbling onto something interesting means you’re tough enough to deal with it yourself

Oh, and once they start talking? Pack a lunch. You’re gonna be there a while.

But their big money makers aren’t “things” at all — they’re secrets.

Passwords, bleeding-edge code, blackmail fodder, and anything else that someone doesn’t want brought to light?

Their CEO is riding the headwinds of technology at this point, and there are big things on the horizon for the “company”.

It’s creepy as hell.

You either high-tail it out of there, or prepare to be a part of the fighting, cuz things are about to get crazy.

They’re always picking fights, causing trouble, and generally being the biggest bitches they can get away with.

Trying to be bad, yep, yep, yep. Pulling it off? Sometimes.

Oh, and it’s a girls’ club only. No boys allowed.

Most of the time, they’re never heard from again.

There’s stuff out there that would eat a little-bit like you without even needing to spit out the bones.

I mean, time works different out there, and the rules are all wonky.

They were pure, once upon a time.

They’re the trickster’s tricksters, and they take the job damn seriously, which means they’re always practicing — and pissing people off.

It looks kind of goofy, and you walk funny while you’re in it.

Most of us are thin and don’t tan well, which makes us kinda look like underfed Goths.

It’s not a sure-fire giveaway, but it can be a clue.

Hold your head high.

We’re big, we’re smart, we’re fast, we’re beautiful; what’s not to love?

I don’t even want to talk about the feet.

It's just humiliating.

We look out for you, and you look out for us. Capische?

They talk too much, but if you know what to listen for and what to ignore, you can learn a lot. Assuming you don’t kill them first.

They irritate without making enemies.

Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

[varibean]

figuring out how to fit

ch 1 of a multi chapter fic! 

It had taken them a few days to get back on their feet, the thrill of the Chickeraffe chase slowly leaving their systems only to be replaced with the dread of figuring out what to do next. There were many things that they wanted to do of course, but as was the way of the world adventure cost bruckles and the only way to get them (legally that is) was with a job. 

Sam, as charming as he was, had never held down an honest job before. His energy and smile were infectious, everyone who came in contact with him could agree that no matter what he decided to do, he would do it with a spirit that couldn’t be beat. However that itself was a problem. Though he was a Who of many skills, none of those skills could technically be considered among the legal variety. He had the charisma, but not the work experience to match. 

Guy on the other hand had the experience and the know how, it was getting through the front door that was the problem. Though inventing was his passion, he was well equipped to do just about anything the market called for; whether it be paint watching, flubberhorn polishing, vipperyvip repair, or filing. But even after his adventure, he lacked a certain level of charm that could dazzle an interviewer and set him apart from the hundreds of other applicants. 

In their short rut period Michellee had, of course, put them up at her house for a while, something both of them were eternally grateful for. Sam would cook breakfast in return and Guy helped E.B with her homework and pandog catching inventions. It was a nice set up for a few days, but there was a limit to how long a couch and a lounge chair were comfortable and even without that fact in mind, both Guy and Sam were a bit restless. 

Michellee constantly insisted that they were both fine to stay for as long as they needed, even going as far as to joke that they could stay forever if that’s what they desired. But they both knew they could never do that to her, couldn’t abuse her kindness in such a way. Sam had never stayed with so many people in one place before and even with the constant job hunt Guy felt like he would become an unspoken burden to the kind hearted Michellee.

Luckily, the question of how long they would need to stay was answered faster than anticipated. The worry and festering feelings of becoming a nuisance were lifted when, two weeks into the search, Guy found a job. 

He discovered that, while all of his own inventions exploded, repairing other’s inventions seemed to be a success. It was a fact that came as both a relief-he would get to work in the field he loved-and a bit of a blow to his pride-the thought that maybe it wasn’t his inventions that were wrong, maybe it was just him. But steady work was steady work and if he was meant to be an Domahicky Repair Man, then so be it. 

One week and his first paycheck later, Guy and Sam found their own apartment a city over. E.B had been upset that her friends were leaving but still smiled a teary goodbye as she hugged Sam goodbye, making him promise to visit on the weekends and to call her with a report of all the new adventures he was sure to have in the city. Michellee insisted that they could stay longer, save up a bit more money, but in the end she too relented on the Weekend Visit condition along with the frequent phone call. 

“Remember, we’re just half an hour away if you need us.” Michellee said as Guy finished loading his and Sam’s matching briefcases into the taxi.

“I think I recall you saying that once or twice in the last ten minutes.”

“I mean it Guy, if you need anything at all just ask. Bruckles, home decor, someone to talk to…”

Michellee’s voice trailed off at the end as she looked up at Guy with a smile. They’d both decided a few days after Mr. Jenkins went home that they were better off as just friends, but Guy had been telling the truth when he said she made him feel safe. Something about her calmed him in a way that few other people could. She’d become his confidant and in return he was her’s. It was a comfortable friendship, an easy going understanding that they shared between each other. 

“And good luck with-” Before Michellee could finish, she was interrupted by Sam sticking his head out the taxi window.

“Come on N.A.B-New Apartment Buddy-we gotta hit the road if we want to beat lower Sneetch Town traffic!”

Guy rolled his eyes and gave Michellee and apologetic smile before hugging her and climbing in the back of the taxi with Sam.

They both waved behind them at Michellee and E.B until the two Whos faded into dots in the distance. 

Sam threw his arm around Guy and pumped a fist excitedly in the air.

“Onto the next adventure!” 

___________

It hadn’t been discussed beforehand that Sam would move in with Guy, it had just been a given like so many other things in their relationship. Guy didn’t even question Sam’s correct assumption that they would be moving in together when the news dropped that he found a job and a nice little place to live in the lower Whoville area. He even brought Sam to the place a few days before moving just to get the other’s approval.

The apartment was small, the front door leading right into the tiny living room, the kitchen attached to that, another door leading to the bedroom, and a small bathroom on the side. It was fine for them, they both agreed. Guy didn’t need much space and Sam spent most of his days outside as it was. 

The first week after moving in there had been a period of adjusting, of making the area their own. Sam stocked the fridge with green eggs and packaged ham, leaving Guy to follow up behind him and put actual food in there as well. 

Sam also seemed to have a knack for decorating as well. His decor wasn’t exactly tidy, but it wasn’t sloppy either. It was an endearing sort of messy; splashes of colors everywhere with trinkets placed on all available surfaces. It only took a few days for the cookie cutter apartment to become an area that felt almost like home. A month ago, Guy would abhor the bright painted colors, the various useless things decorating the wall, the odd additions to the counters and side tables. But now he looked at them with a certain level of fondness that he hadn’t felt in a long time; the crowded living area wasn’t crowded at all, in fact, the more Sam added too it the easier it was to breathe. 

It was as if the life given to the room was radiating out and infecting him with his own splashes of color. When Guy came home, it was with a smile and a fond sigh as he looked around at the area that was slowly shaping to become theirs. 

Sam was also more than happy with their arrangement. Still struggling to find a job and give up his past life, after the decorating was done in the first few days he threw himself into helping around the community. By the end of the first week he had introduced himself to the neighbors, walked around town acquainting himself with the locals, and familiarized himself with the best diners in town. He wasn’t bringing in an income yet but that didn’t matter at all to Guy. Seeing the little Who exhausted and smiling from a day full of social interaction and free of crime was enough to give them both a sense of peace. 

Of course, there were slight drawbacks. The job Guy found was nice, but he didn’t get paid an extraordinary amount. It was enough to keep them both content, but there were certain things they had to cut back on. 

Their dishware was bought second hand, the pieces they were missing replaced with reusable plastic. Organic eggs and ham were out of the question, along with eating out for anything that wasn’t take out. Couponing became a must and Guy was always on the lookout for a sale. Most of their furniture came mix matched from thrift shops and online marketplace sales. 

But there was one thing that stood out the most among all of the little cutbacks: The apartment only had one bed. _____________

The first night they spent in the new apartment Guy was only mildly surprised that there was only one bed. The landlord had assured him that sleeping accommodations would be included with the down payment, but staring at the bed and thinking back to the conversation Guy realized that he hadn’t specified that this single bedroom would be shared by two people. An oversight on his part. 

“I guess this makes us Same-Bed-Buddies too huh?” Sam joked, but there was an unusual tension to his tone, as if he were more upset with the arrangement than Guy was. 

“After being shipped in a box with you this might as well be a California King.” 

Sam laughed in response and then threw himself onto the mattress, giving it a good bounce. 

Guy thought that would be the end of it and prepared himself to get nuzzled to near death in his sleep, but later that night he was surprised to find how reserved Sam was.

The little Who would toss and turn, inching closer to Guy, then suddenly catch himself and scoot back as if he were in trouble. It was odd, considering how touchy Sam was during all other aspects of their life. Guy mused that maybe he was trying to give him his space; they’d learned a lot about each other on their adventure, including how to be more considerate of each other’s boundaries. It was a sweet thought if true, even if a bit misguided.

An hour was spent with Sam tossing in a restless sleep and Guy, eyes wide awake, growing more and more frustrated as each minute passed. There was sadness mixed in there as well; the realization that this must’ve been how Sam always slept, twitching and alone and desperate to cling but being unable to find anything (or anyone) to hold.

The tossing and turning got to such a point that Guy’s nerves just couldn’t take it anymore. 

“Oh for the love of yip, just come here.” 

A groggy Sam slowly opened one eye, trying to take in the dark surroundings, but before he could respond to what was going on, Guy pulled him into his arms.

The little Who was still for a moment, the shock of being woken up and pulled into an embrace rendering him silent for a rare moment. After a minute or two, he wrapped his arms around Guy and buried his face into the soft ring of fluff around the Knox’s neck. 

“You’re kinda chubby.” Sam said sleepily, voice muffled by fur. 

The Who must’ve felt a rebuttal coming because he soon followed his words with a content sigh and pressed his body closer against Guy’s.

“I like it…’s comfy.” 

There was nothing Guy could say to that. Sam seemed to drift off into a now much quieter sleep, warm and contently pressed against Guy’s weight and soft fluff. 

Guy had to admit to himself that he didn’t hate the scenario. Quite the opposite in fact. He found that he enjoyed the feeling of Sam wrapped around him, the other’s little body tucked perfectly against him as Guy adjusted his arms so that they wrapped around his friend in return. Something about the feeling was...safe. Secure. The only drawback in his mind was that at some point in the morning, he would have to let go. 

That night they both slept with more peace than either had felt in a long time. 

[vcg73]

Witch!Kurt #42: The Calm Before the Storm

As promised, I got back to work on this.  :)

~*~*~*~*~*~

Adam hummed as he moved through the kitchen, fetching plates, cups, and cutlery from their cabinets and drawers before dishing up the two servings of eggs and sausage links he’d just finished cooking.

He pulled a large orange from the refrigerator and cut it into halves, placing one on each plate. He really preferred grapefruit, but Kurt hated even the scent of them, so he compromised by purchasing a large bag of Mandarins on his last shopping trip. It made him feel better, since Kurt had ceased purchasing his own former staple of strawberries once he had discovered that Adam was allergic. Adam had insisted that there was no need for Kurt to give up a favorite food, and Kurt had made a noise of agreement but Adam had noticed soon afterward that their grocery list never had that particular fruit on it anymore. The bottle of strawberry pancake syrup that had formerly graced their little condiment shelf had also mysteriously vanished. It was the sort of sweet gesture that his husband tended to make without thought, and Adam was determined to show that he appreciated it in just as subtle a fashion. He refused to be another one of those people in Kurt’s life who took his generous nature for granted.

Pouring a steaming cup of tea for himself and coffee for Kurt, he smiled at how delightfully domestic this was. Other than company, the thing he had missed most during his seemingly endless span in the emptiness of the Void was simply having something to do. Getting his hands on some small chore and keeping busy with it. Adam had never been an idler, never one to just sit quietly with his hands folded and wait for something to come along. From earliest childhood, he had been a doer, taking satisfaction from playing games, cooking meals, scribbling notes, inventing choreography, learning some new skill, or sorting out an activity for others. He and Kurt had that in common, along with having work and living spaces that tended to stay tidy and well organized, though neither took it to neat-freak levels. Adam had missed being able to set his hand to a thing and see it completed, and a small part of him thrilled at the mundane little task.

It bothered him more than he liked to admit that he was still slightly off his game when it came to getting his nerve up for comings and goings beyond the loft, even after six months back in the real world, but having a full time stay-at-home job now helped immensely. Most of his daylight hours were kept busy making calls, booking online appointments, and sorting out talent for various casting calls about town. It made him feel useful again, and after only two months on the job, he was already earning praise from his employers and glowing reviews from their clients. That little boost to his self-esteem was making him bolder about going outdoors and meeting people again. Now that winter was over, greenery was beginning to pop up everywhere and the days were becoming mild and pleasant, beckoning him to take a nice walk through the park, or down to Bui’s for a spot of tea on his lunch hour. He no longer worked for Mrs. Bui, having given up his position as stock-boy to an eager young high schooler once his schedule with H&B had been set, but he still liked to pop round for a hot cup, two or three delicious chocolate biccies, and a nice gossip.

And then there was Kurt. How lucky he felt each day to wake up to the sight of that beautiful face on the pillow next to his, to phone him at lunchtime to say ‘how are you’, ‘what would you like for dinner’, and ‘I love you’. Such simple words, but so full of delight to them both. And he liked to be here, finishing up his work for the day, or bustling about getting the evening meal when it was his turn to cook, having it ready when Kurt came home from work or school, and seeing his face light up with joy at the sight of him.

“Hello, husband,” Kurt would say, with that loving look in his beautiful eyes as he came forward for a kiss and a fond embrace. “How was your day?”  

Kurt took positive delight in that greeting, and Adam enjoyed hearing it just as much. He supposed over time the shiny newness of being married would wear off, but for now it was still great fun.

Adam buttered four newly popped slices of toast and once again divided them between the waiting plates, adding a quick smear of marmalade to his own half and a dribble of honey to Kurt’s. He added a bit of honey to his tea as well, then used the spoon he’d stirred it with to mix a helping of nonfat creamer and a packet of sweetener into the coffee. He took a small sip of the latter to test the level of sweetness, and then grimaced, wondering what he’d been thinking as he took a quick swig of tea to banish the taste. Kurt had grown up drinking Burt Hummel’s noxious brew, and he still preferred his coffee strong enough to degrease an engine or melt the spines off a cactus.

“Breakfast is ready, husband of mine,” he said, setting a plate and the coffee on Kurt’s side of the breakfast table just in time to greet him with a kiss as he wandered out from the bathroom, wearing a towel about his waist, skin fresh and still ever so slightly damp after showering.

Kurt kissed him back with a smile and immediately went for the cup, taking an experimental sip followed by a large happy slurp. “Mmm, this is great!” he said. “You used hazelnut creamer, didn’t you?”

Vaguely amused at his enthusiasm, Adam said, “I did. I used that cocoa infused espresso you bought last trip, and I thought hazelnut would be a nice complement to it.”

“Nutella in a cup,” he sighed blissfully, belting back another swallow. He kissed Adam again, on the cheek this time and said, “Be right back.”

Kurt disappeared into the bedroom, and Adam had just enough time to top up his cup and add another good dollop of creamer before Kurt emerged again wearing a smart new outfit of gray checked trousers, black shoes and belt, and a shimmery green, patterned button down. Now that he had truly got the hang of using his assorted magics, Kurt could get himself dressed for the day in the literal blink of an eye. The only delay would be in choosing which outfit to wear. It was the one power that Adam envied him, though he doubted that even being able to instantly don and discard clothing would give him the impeccably chic and polished look that Kurt always had.

After all, even his own power to whisk his hair into order with a thought did not give him the ability to look sexily tumbled when rising from his pillow of a morning the way Kurt typically did. Adam usually looked as though he’d received electric shock until he got himself under a hot shower, and he knew he could potter around in his closet for a good half hour trying on assorted items and still look like he’d just escaped from a harrowing ride through a clothes dryer. Lucky for him that Kurt found the rumpled look attractive.

“What’s funny?” Kurt asked, sitting down to breakfast. He hadn’t been gone long enough for the food to grow cold and he tucked in with an appreciative appetite.

Adam just waved a hand. “Oh nothing. Just musing about how unfairly gorgeous you are for first thing in the morning.”

Flattered, he blushed a bit, his eyes sparkling at the compliment. “You look nice too.”  

And he did. Adam had a video call with a producer this morning, someone his agency had landed for casting of a big-budget film. Adam’s job was simply to take down the particulars of cast size, shooting schedule, and what sort of roles they were looking to fill, and then he would take down their availability and set up a second meeting with one of H&B’s more senior casting agents. But even that required a bit more spit and polish than usual.

He told Kurt as much. “I must let them see that Hanover & Bradley is a posh firm, even down to the lowliest of booking clerks.” He straightened his black and gold striped tie before lifting his nose in the air and sticking his pinky out with extreme dignity as he took a sip from his teacup.

As he had expected, Kurt laughed. “Well, I’m sure they’ll appreciate it. I wish it wasn’t considered unprofessional to suggest casting yourself. I glanced at the script spec you were reading last night and that movie sounds right up your alley.”

Adam smiled. “Appreciated, but I don’t think I’m quite ready for the chaos of a film set yet. Though I must admit that I have been growing bolder of late. I’ve been considering scraping the rust off of my acting skills and joining the Lightning Circle for one or two evenings a week.”

For a moment Kurt looked blank, but then he brightened as the name clicked. “That’s the Improv group that your friend Joey runs, isn’t it?” At Adam’s nod, he clasped his hands. “Adam, that would be amazing! It’s a perfect way to stick a toe in the water and find out whether or not you’d be comfortable on stage again. Joey was an Apple, so he’ll totally get it if you’re not quite ready to get out in public yet. You two were really close during my freshman year, so I imagine it would be like slipping into a favorite pair of shoes to work with him again. It won’t even matter if you’re rusty, because figuring your way around an awkward moment is the whole idea of Improv.”  

Adam beamed at his support. “Exactly right. I had a talk with Janice during my last session about wanting to take baby steps back toward my aborted career. She suggested testing the waters in some small way, then reporting back on how it went. I was thinking Community Theater, or joining the Lexington retirees for one of their in-house productions, or a sketch comedy night somewhere. Then I recalled Joe telling us at the last Apples get-together that he’s renting a space in the Village. His troupe rehearses a few nights a week and performs on Sunday evenings. They write sketches, work out the framing, and then sort of fill in the blanks before an audience. I know for certain that I’m welcome to join.”

Kurt was grinning. “Then you should totally do it. Maybe we could start by attending a performance on the weekend, just to see what it’s like. That way you can make an informed decision about whether or not it’s something you want to do. I think it would be so good for you, honey. I know how refreshing it can be to put your problems aside and just be someone else for a little while. Plus it sounds like a lot of fun!”

Pleased at how easily Kurt had not only accepted the plan but dove straight in with his support, Adam said, “So, it’s a date then?” 

Privately he was thinking that if this worked out, it might be a bit of fun they could do together. The others always asked after Kurt, and seemed quite interested in his progress at NYADA, so they would be glad to have him.

“It’s a date,” Kurt confirmed. Munching the last bite of his breakfast, he glanced at his phone on the table beside him and made a startled sound. “Oh, gosh! Is that the time already? Isabelle asked me to help choose the summer dress selections for the website today and I don’t want to be late.”

Adam nodded. He needed to get himself ready for the meeting soon as well. “Have fun and I’ll see you this afternoon. Is it your turn for dinner tonight?”

“It was, but I’ll do it tomorrow. Brittany called earlier and asked if she, Santana, and Tubbington could join us. They’ll pick up something from the Golden Lotus on the way here.”

He was used to this. Members of their witch family dropped by at odd hours all the time and usually brought food with them, so Adam nodded. “I’ll text and ask them for an order of sweet and sour, or maybe some General Tso. That pineapple and green pepper concoction they picked out the last time was revolting. I was belching peppers for two days straight.”

Kurt laughed. “I already asked. Santana likes that stuff, but Brittany agrees with you, and of course Tubbington would probably stage a revolt if they didn’t get his beloved Kung Pao Chicken, so nobody balked at my request to add Pork Fried Rice and General Tsao.”

Taking one last swig of coffee, Kurt took his dishes to the kitchen, then hurried to the bathroom to quickly brush his teeth. Giving his husband a minty kiss goodbye, Kurt grabbed his bag and a light jacket and was out the door.

Adam stared fondly after him for a moment, then willed the magical ward back into place and went to his own work.

~*~*~*~*~

“What’s happened?” Adam asked when Kurt came through the door without his usual cheerful greeting. 

The buoyant mood Kurt had left home with this morning had transformed throughout the day into a feeling of tense foreboding that had been palpable the moment he walked in the door. Before that, actually. A more tamped-down version had been singing along their emotional bond for the past couple of hours. 

Adam found himself wondering if their idyllic breakfast this morning had just been the calm before some great storm. Whatever it was, he suspected that their Sunday theater plans had just been cancelled. “Is something wrong in Ohio?”

“No,” Kurt said, speaking the word with a hint of hesitation. He made an impatient gesture with his hands as he amended it to, “Not exactly. Nothing’s really wrong, but I had a text from Sue Sylvester today and I suspect it’s no coincidence that she sent it to me on the same day Brittany and Santana suddenly decided to drop by for dinner.”

Adam agreed that this was unlikely. Sue had kept her promise to keep tabs on the Blaine situation for them, but she wasn’t the ‘just dropping a friendly line’ sort of person. “What did it say?”

Pulling out his phone, Kurt showed him the message. ‘Red Alert. Paddington has taken a flea dip.’ “What on earth?”

“Sue always codes her messages,” Kurt explained. “She thinks satellites are sharing them with the C.I.A. or something. Paddington is the nickname she gave to Dave Karofsky after he came out as gay. Y’know, as in a baby bear.”

Adam snorted, picturing the hulking young man he had briefly glimpsed on his aborted surveillance trip to Lima dressed in a duffel coat, red hat and wellies. “So in her own peculiar way, she’s telling you that Dave has rid himself of a certain pest?”

“That’s how I read it,” Kurt agreed. “He must have broken up with Blaine. Either he shook off Blaine’s persuasive influence somehow, or he just wasn’t as taken in by it as we assumed. I’d be interested to find out what happened. The important thing for now is that if Dave is gone, then Blaine doesn’t have anyone handy to power-dump his stolen magic into. That might make Blaine vulnerable.”

“Or it might make him more of a problem,” Adam reminded him, willing away the shiver of apprehension that skittered down his spine at Kurt’s words. “If Blaine has suddenly found himself alone and forced to return to what Santana colorfully calls the ‘snatch and splooge’ technique of transferring power, he could be extremely dangerous.”

Kurt shook his head. “That’s assuming he hasn’t stored power in half the innocent Standards in Lima. He was always unnaturally good at swaying a crowd to his side, long before the soul-polluting began. He’s a lot easier to deal with one on one than with a pack of supporters behind him. Especially ones who are convinced against all logic and evidence that he can do no wrong.”

Reading his meaning in that, Adam said flatly, “You are not going to face him alone, Kurt.”

“Well, I’m not sending you to spy on him again,” Kurt countered with a trace of heat. “I don’t want you going anywhere near him.”

“Nor I you, so if you think I’m going to just sit here safely on the sidelines while that nasty blighter attacks you, then …”

“Adam, I’ll be at twice as much risk if I’m worrying about what might happen to you,” Kurt interrupted. “I’m not an idiot. I know how dangerous he can be, and that you both want and deserve to be with me when I face him, but he nearly killed you once, and then just seeing him for an instant all but paralyzed you! The last time you two were face to face, you were at full strength and he still nearly destroyed you. What if he finds out that you’re not only still alive, but that I’ve married you, and once and for all torpedoed his plans for me? He’ll go berserk and I don’t want to risk him taking that out on you. If I put you in his line of sight, I might as well be pulling the trigger on you myself.”

Adam wanted to argue back that he would be equally devastated if Kurt were to face their enemy alone and be killed or sent to the Void. Which might well be the same thing, since none of their group might be able to find and rescue him if he were to be banished to that place without an anchor. But Kurt would resist such reasoning. For all his instinctive mother-henning of loved ones, he could be remarkably blind when it came to his own well-being.

“Darling, what with all the Lima people who came to our reception, I highly doubt that Blaine has remained oblivious to my miraculous return from the great beyond. I’m safer with you, and the members of our coven, than I ever would be alone.” He struggled to keep his voice calm, even though he suspected that his emotions were broadcasting loud and clear anyway. “I may not be as physically strong as I was the first time I encountered him, but magically I’ve grown stronger. One of the upsides to being part of a good coven. Since Joining with you, I’ve gained new levels of control. But what you’re forgetting is that neither one of us is in this alone. We have a group of excellent witches and Familiars at our back, as well as friends and family. It may turn out that Blaine has put together an army of brain-washed sycophants, but if the Intelligence we’ve received thus far is true, then we also have Coach Sylvester’s magically-inclined Cheerio squad to counter them.”

As he had hoped, Kurt responded to the logic of this statement. “That’s true,” he said slowly. “I hate the idea of putting kids at risk, but I’d put my money on the Cheerios over Blaine’s personal Fight Club any day of the week.”

“I wouldn’t discount Sebastian’s influence over his former prep-school peers either,” Adam pressed. “Or for that matter Finn and Sam’s influence over your old Glee Club, which might even have countered Blaine’s a bit. Just because you’ve been left with that self-enamored tosser as your sole responsibility in the past, doesn’t mean you still are. You were a lone ship on a stormy ocean once upon a time, Kurt, but now you’re the captain of a veritable armada, and the rest of us are just waiting for an order to fire a shot across Blaine’s bow.”

Kurt’s mouth, which had fallen open during Adam’s impassioned speech, clicked shut and he gave him a wan smile. “I’m not sure you aren’t being just a little too optimistic here, but you have a good point.” The smile widened. “You like to claim that you’re not much of an orator, but you give a darned good rallying speech.”

“I think so too,” Santana said by way of greeting, making the two of them jump in surprise as she opened the door and walked casually into their discussion. Kurt had dropped the ward as he came inside, and left it down knowing his friends would be arriving right on his heels. “And he’s right, oh Captain my Captain. If you go back to Lima and cut us out of all the fun after keeping us waiting for months to kick Anderson’s bubble butt, we’ll disown you and elect a new coven leader. I hear Drumsticks has his eye on the spot.”

“Johnny? But he never…oh,” Kurt said in chagrin, laughing a little when he realized she was teasing. “I guess I’m being kind of stupid.”

“Never bothered us before,” she replied, a wicked twinkle in her eye. “I take it you heard from Sue?”

Brittany and Tubbington, who had come in behind her, put their sacks of food down on the kitchen island and Brittany said, “She sent us a message this morning before I called. I wasn’t sure if I should say anything then.”

“Paddington?” Adam queried, wondering if they’d got the same text Kurt had.

Tubbington gave him a frown and said, “Dawn Patrol”.

Not as familiar with Coach Sylvester’s unique personal code as the rest of them, Adam said, “What does that mean?”

“Be on alert because it might be time to come to Lima and get Blaine out of everybody’s way,” Santana translated casually.

Seeing his confusion, Kurt said, “Dawn. You know, as in the dish-washing soap that’s supposed to be extra good at clearing away greasy messes? It … never mind. The point is that Blaine has been dumped, and Coach thinks it might have him off balance enough for us to make our move.” He looked at their guests and said, “Adam was reminding me that we’re a team and that Blaine is no longer just my problem.”

“He’s right, Junior,” Tubbington garbled as he pulled a steaming box and a pair of chopsticks out of the nearest bag and stuffed a large bite of food into his mouth while he spoke. “I been keeping tabs on your family through Sebastian and he tells me that Blaine has already started sniffing around your house now that Sam is living there again.”

“What?” Kurt said in alarm, jumping up from the chair he had just taken.

Brittany patted his arm. “Don’t worry, nobody is in danger. That’s part of what we wanted to tell you tonight. Your dad has Fam, that’s what Sam and Finn call themselves when they’re not being individuals, did you know that? Anyway, Burt has made them wear that cologne Adam made for him at Christmas, just to be safe. He offered some to Sebastian too, but a Familiar can’t be influenced by Wild Magics so he didn’t need it.”

“I should mix them up a fresh batch if Burt is sharing,” Adam mused, already considering ways he might beef up the recipe while still keeping the cologne smelling pleasant. Having been victim to Blaine’s venomous influence once, Sam and Finn might be more than usually vulnerable, and that wasn’t a risk he wanted to take. “Perhaps I could mix it into a deodorant, so there would be no danger of anyone forgetting to wear the potion. ‘Magical Musk for Men’, or some such.”

“You should do it,” Santana agreed, shrugging when she saw that nobody was bothering with food except for the always voracious Lord Tubbington, and going for plates and forks, which she spread around the table before helping herself to a serving of fried rice. “The old stuff does its job, though. Sebastian reported to L.T. that Blaine showed up at the house last night, God only knows why, and Burt met him at the door with a wicked set of hedge-clippers in hand.”

She cackled at the thought and everyone else had to grin at the picture it painted when Brittany added, “Your dad told him he’d had a feeling that it was time to prune away the obnoxious weeds that were in his yard. Then he clacked the blades just a couple of inches from Blaine’s crotch and stared him down until he ran off.”

“Didn’t stop moving until he hit the Lima Bean, from what I hear,” L.T. said with satisfaction, treating them all to a window-shaking belch as he picked a stray vegetable from his beard and popped it into his mouth. “Damn, that’s great. The Lotus must have a new chef.”

Kurt, no longer surprised that his father hadn’t reported the visit, sighed and sad down, taking a spoonful of rice and another of steaming beef & broccoli. Adam and Brittany likewise sat down and helped themselves to a serving of mouthwatering entrees. Adam happily sailed into the box of spicy chicken, also accepting a spoonful of beef & broccoli when Kurt shook the box with an inquiring look. Santana pulled out a second container of Kung Pao, having known from experience that nobody else would have a chance at the initial serving of Tubbington’s favorite, and passed it around.

“If Blaine is already trying to get in good with Sam again,” Kurt mused after a moment, “then it really does support the idea that losing Dave must have come as an unpleasant shock. To his ego if not his magic-stealing. There’s no way he could know that Sam isn’t alone anymore, right?”

“No,” Adam said, “I’m sure he doesn’t know. After all, he believes that he murdered Finn, just as he thinks he did to me. But if he’s seen him around Lima, then even without Sight he must realize that Sam is suddenly a good bit healthier than he was when their friendship was broken off. I could see so clearly, and I don’t even know the poor fellow well.”

Brittany nodded. “We went to visit my folks a couple of weeks ago and I looked in on Fam. Sam’s almost back to his old self again. You did a really good thing for him when you joined him with Finn.”

“Technically that was Sebastian’s idea,” Kurt said, giving credit where it was due. “And all of you helped.”

“Yeah, but you’re the one who actually did the heavy lifting,” Santana countered, having no patience for self-effacement. Not when it came to an act of combined delicacy and power, not to mention personal risk, that had left even her cynical self in awe. Sounding baffled by her next words, she added, “And Finn is happy riding around in the back of Sam’s brain. I thought sure he’d be going crazy by now, given how much he liked being the center of attention back in high school. Instead he seems to think he’s some kind of secret agent. As long as Sam lets him take the wheel and do what he wants a couple of times a day, he doesn’t seem to give a flying fuck that nobody else knows they’re taking to Finn Hudson, ex Lima superstar.”

“I suspect without the influence of power-hungry girlfriends, he’s actually happier out of the spotlight,” Kurt said dryly. “He liked being part of the Quarterback-Head Cheerleader power couple, until it became more pressure than fun. Then he hooked up with Rachel and she was a cattle prod in the backside as far as the craving for fame and popularity went. It wasn’t until they went long-distance and Finn didn’t have anyone to give him orders, or any independent direction of his own, that he kind of crashed.”

Brittany nodded. “And Sam always felt more comfortable having an image to hide behind, so he probably likes being able to sit back and let Finn take over some of the time.” She smiled gently. “I think the people who used to know them both are a little confused, though. People never seem to see things clearly without a map.”

Remembering some of the mind-bending leaps of logic this woman had taken in the years he had known her, Kurt had to agree. Brittany always saw things clearly, it was one reason she had the most powerful gifts of Sight and magical intuition he had yet encountered, but unfortunately her idea of clarity rarely matched up with anyone else’s. At least not without a lot of practice in translating her thoughts. He had become far better at ‘speaking Brit’ over this past year than he had ever done when they were schoolmates.

“Makes sense,” he said. “Okay, so assuming my family is safe, Fam’s secret is still intact, and Blaine is beginning to lose control, how much time do you think we have to deal with this?”

“Not long, I would say,” Adam said, brow furrowing in thought. “When I confronted him two years ago, he panicked and went into immediate attack mode. Same with your brother. If he’s reeling from the insult of being dumped, and possibly from the withdrawal of whatever power he’d stored up in your friend Dave … well, I fear we’ve left this kettle boiling too long as it is.”

Tubbington cut in, “Oh, he’ll be feeling it, I’m sure of that. I don’t know if that other kid is still in town or not, but if he broke off their relationship it’s a cinch Dave’s not willing to let Blaine cozy up for a nice easy power withdrawal. Whatever magic had been stored in him would have started draining away almost immediately once he was at a safe distance.” 

At Kurt’s querying noise, Adam said, “As you know, magic has a shelf-life. We can only do so much before we’re either starving or exhausted from having used up our reserves. Storing magic in a prepared object allows it to stay viable for a while, like storing perishables in the freezer. But storing it in a person would mean using their physical reserves. Like storing those perishables in a hot garage. The power would begin to ‘go bad’ in a very short amount of time, and while the vessel could be damaged in the long term, they could also be helped by it in the short.”

“In what way?” Kurt asked, resting his elbows on the table and pressing his lips to steepled fingers as he unconsciously adopted a studying pose.

Santana answered, “Like, if Sam had been critically injured and Blaine had siphoned a portion of his own power, his own life-force, into him to keep him alive until they could get medical help, that would be okay. Noble, even. Not that something that selfless would ever occur to him.”

Tubbington agreed, “I’ve been around long enough to see that happen a couple of times, but before the human litter-box came along, I’d never even heard of a witch, regular or Wild, stealing magic from other witches without their knowledge and power-dumping it into some poor unwitting Standard. Only to steal that power back for their own personal use with no thought as to how much damage they were causing. That he did it to supposed loved ones?” He made a sound that suggested he was about to reject the box of Chinese food he had just inhaled.

“The sorts of things we can do as witches gives us an advantage over the majority of society,” Adam resumed. “And it is widely accepted throughout the community that that sort of privilege gives us a firm ethical responsibility to not misuse our power, nor go mucking about in the lives of Standards. I have wondered from time to time if the general bias against the weak, uncontrolled power of most Wild witches hasn’t led to the rest of us dropping the ball there. After all, if one never knows they’re a witch, how is one to develop the ethical foundation that is, quite frankly, expected of us? Blaine Anderson is an extreme case of self-aggrandizing moral decay, but I doubt he’s alone in it.”

“Well, there’s a cheerful thought,” Santana said sourly. “You’re saying all this is somehow our fault?”

Surprising them all, Kurt who said, “No. I spent months, years even, blaming myself for all the crap Blaine pulled when we were together. I’ve finally accepted that I wasn’t responsible for his actions or responses, only for my own. I’m not going back to thinking otherwise. Blaine was hypocritical, oblivious to other people’s feelings, and painfully self-absorbed long before he and I first started having problems. I was just too infatuated at first, and too emotionally beaten down later, to actually see it. I suspect from certain things he’s told me about his childhood that he always has been that way.”

Adam nodded. “True, and we’re speaking of Blaine as though he were a child, with no ability to recognize how destructive his behavior has been. He’s not.”

Brittany nodded. “There are a lot of bad people out in the world who got there without any help from magic. People who commit terrible crimes every day. Blaine is just doing his the easy way.”

Making a frustrated motion with his hands, Kurt said, “If the magical community is at fault in any way, it’s in not actually behaving as a community. NYADA is as much a school for witches as a school for performing artists, but you’d never know it until something goes wrong.”

“Do you know they actually had the nerve to send us a sternly worded letter after our wedding, admonishing us for performing a Major Working without a senior coven official present?” Adam said to Santana, Brittany, and Tubbington in response to his husband’s disgusted tone. “Basically they scolded us for not asking permission. Kurt was ready to go down to NYADA on the spot, likely leaving a few scorch marks in his wake, but I convinced him to not ruin a promising academic career, and to take a different approach.”

Smiling slightly, having come to appreciate Adam’s occasionally twisted sense of humor, Santana said, “What did you do to them?”

He blinked at her with calculated innocence in his too-wide blue eyes. “I merely passed the letter over to Gran, with a gentle hint that she wasn’t being properly respected for her status as a Senior level witch, and reminding her that Carmen and her crew never did apologize for their laxity in my own rescue.”

She laughed, “Oh, you are evil!”

Kurt laughed as well. “We got another letter that same week advising us to ‘please disregard the former missive’ and congratulating us on our wedding and a ‘difficult job well done’.”

“Honestly it was as close to groveling as I ever expect to see from the Almighty Carmen,” Adam chuckled. “Gran must have given them a tongue-lashing they’ll never forget.”

A sigh came from Kurt. “That’s what’s so frustrating, though! If powerful coven leaders like Madame Tibideaux, whose business is supposed to be education, would only make it their mission to trade information, help those who need it and make sure nobody falls through the cracks the way Finn and I almost did, and assessing and training those with power without treating those with unusual types of magic as second-class or unimportant, the world would be a much better place. They have the power, and they could make sure that cases like Blaine’s wouldn’t happen, because someone would always have their eyes open to step in and redirect someone who’s going the wrong way before they turn into a complete disaster.”

A swift interested chain reaction of glances and nods passed between his companions. Every good coven eventually developed a higher purpose, something beyond mere friendship and the occasional Major Working. Kurt had, without quite realizing it, just hit upon theirs. Their peculiar mixture of powers and creative problem-solving, Adam’s interest in the history of witchcraft, Johnny’s fascination with the mechanics of spell crafting, the unexpected co-mingling of Animagus and Purebred Familiars, Kurt’s own seeming magnetism toward all manner of people, both magical and Standard, drawing even Wild witches and the extremely rare Magic Dampers into his sphere; all spoke to the blending of a wider, more open overall community.

Oblivious to their silent communication, Kurt went on, “I guess that’s why I still feel like confronting Blaine is up to me. Or rather, to us.”

“Well, you know you can count me in,” Lord Tubbington said. “I’ve wanted to flex my claws on that ugly little scratching post since the first time I saw him.”

“Mine too,” Brittany said with no trace of irony. “I knew he was up to something bad the first time he came to Glee Club dressed like male Rachel.”

Still smirking a bit, Santana said, “I’ve been waiting to kick his ass since last Thanksgiving. What do you say, Kurt?”

He nodded. "Let’s get Dani, Johnny, Monica, and Elliott over here. I think it’s time we put together a plan.”

THE END

[hazardville]

Fuck You Facebook

So, in case anyone’s seeing this without coming here from my Facebook: Facebook removed this post because it was flagged as spam.  I’m preserving it here because this information should be shared and Facebook’s attempts to obscure the sharing of health information should be condemned, widely and publicly.  Enjoy. This is a long post addressing two underlying issues with the current response to the pandemic that leave me concerned.   It’s the longest post I’ve ever written.  The Medium version of this post (link below) has been viewed 1.2M in less than the last 24 hours as of 3/17/20. For those of you not taking action, or believing the pandemic to be “over hyped”, you can make fun of me as much as you want now or when this is over.  You can make me the subject of memes and post it everywhere.  I will pose for the picture.  I am not trying to convince you, but I do feel compelled to share information that I deem critical to all of us, which is why I am posting this at all. WHY YOU SHOULD TAKE 5 MINUTES TO READ AND CONSIDER THE INFORMATION I AM SHARING: As of 3/15/20 at 9 am PST this post has been shared over 50k times since it was posted 2 days ago.  So a lot of people find value in the post and although it's a long read, I believe you will find this information valuable too. For those of you who don’t know me well, I am analytical and metered.  I don’t freak out nor do I respond emotionally.  I also don’t post a bunch of bullshit or political or controversial stuff on Facebook.  I founded and am CEO of a successful software company that provides SaaS based data, analytics, and dashboards to recruiting departments at companies we all know.  As you would expect, I am data driven and fact based.  Before founding my company I held executive roles leading very large recruiting teams at some of the world's fastest growing companies such as Starbucks and Google.  At Google I was fortunate enough to report to Sheryl Sandberg before she took the Facebook COO role.  I was a Chemical Engineering major in college and have a business degree from a top undergraduate business school.  I am not one for hyperbole or histrionics.  My bullshit factor is close to zero. I share all this personal information only to help solidify that this post may be worth reading and sharing with others. I would encourage you to forward or share this post at your discretion.  Many people do not understand what is happening with the pandemic to the degree required which is why I took the time to write this and share this on Facebook. Now that I've gotten the introduction out of the way, here are two issues I want to bring to everyone’s attention.   ISSUE ONE:  SOCIAL NORMS ARE POWERFUL MOTIVATORS AND GETTING IN THE WAY OF PEOPLE TAKING THE RIGHT STEPS IN RESPONSE TO THE PANDEMIC:   One of the current problems with addressing the pandemic is the social pressures of taking action today. It's awkward, and feels like an over-reaction. The reason it feels like an overreaction is that most people OVERWEIGHT the currently reported cases and inherently UNDERWEIGHT the mathematics of how the virus is spreading and what will happen in about 30 days time. This is because our brains tend to think linearly as opposed to logarithmically.  It’s the same reason many people don’t save for retirement or understand compound interest.   To create a new social norm, human beings like to see behavior modeled. This serves as a signal that says, “oh, someone else is doing it so I should do it also.”   SO HERE IS A SOCIAL BENCHMARK FOR REFERENCE - THIS IS WHAT I’VE DONE FOR MY FAMILY TO DATE: I have already isolated my family. We have canceled EVERYTHING. We have canceled previously scheduled doctor visits.  Social get togethers.  No play dates.  Normal routine meetings.  Everything has been canceled.   It's difficult and socially awkward. Some of you think I’m crazy, but I’m doing it not because I am afraid, but because I am good at math (more on that in part 2).  I had to have my 16 year old daughter quit her job coaching junior gymnasts at the local gym, with one day’s notice and also tell my kids they can't attend youth group at church. Both of those were tough discussions.  I told a very close friend he shouldn’t stay at my house this weekend even though he was planning to and had booked his flight from the Bay Area.  I canceled another dear friend’s visit for later this month to go snowboarding on Mt Bachelor. We are not eating out.  Our kids are already doing online school so we don’t have to make changes there.  I would not send my kids to school even if they were in public or private school.  We have eliminated all non-essential contact with other people.  We will only venture out to grocery shop when required.  We will still go outside to parks, go mountain biking, hiking, and recreate to keep ourselves sane and do other things as a family, just not with other people.  We have stocked up on food and have a supply for ~2 months.  We have stocked up on other goods that if depleted would create hardship, like medicines and feminine hygiene products.  We have planned for shortages of essential items. THE REASON I HAVE CHOSEN THIS ROUTE FOR MY FAMILY IS MULTI FACETED: 1.    Although my family is considered low risk (I’m 49 in good health, Angi is 46 and in good health, and our kids are 14 and 16), we must assume that the healthcare system cannot help us, because the hospitals will become overwhelmed very quickly.  Most American hospitals will become overwhelmed in approximately 30 days unless something changes.   More on this in part 2 below.  So although we are in great health and unlikely to become gravely ill, the risk is greater if you do not have access to the medical care that you need.  This is something for everyone to consider.  As a society we are accustomed to having access to the best medical care available.  Our medical system will be overwhelmed unless we practice social distancing at scale.  That said, the medical teams in Italy are seeing an alarming number of cases from people in their 40s and 50s.  Triage tents are already going up in the parking lots at many hospitals close to the epicenters in the United States. 2.    It’s not a matter of if social distancing will take place, it’s a matter of when.  This is because social distancing is the only way to stop the virus today.   As I will explain in part 2 below, starting now is FAR more effective than starting even 2 days from now or tomorrow. This has been proven by Italy and China (and soon to be France and other European countries who have been slow to respond.) [updated as of 3/14 France is now on lockdown mandated by the government].  Wuhan went on lockdown after roughly 400 cases were identified (and they had access to testing that America has systematically failed to do well to date).  The US already has more than 4 times this number of known infected cases as Wuhan did when it was shut down, and our citizens are far more mobile and therefore spreading the virus more broadly when compared to Wuhan.  Yet our response is tepid at best.   If hand washing and “being smart” were sufficient Italy would not be in crisis.  So I pray the draconian measures are coming from our government, because they are required to stop the spread of the virus.   It’s better to start sooner than later as the cost is actually far greater if we wait.  I pray they close all schools and non-essential services the way that Italy and China have done. 3.    Spreading the virus puts those in the high-risk category at much greater risk.  This is the moral argument.  It’s a strong argument because there are only two ways, as of today, that the virus can be stopped:   let it run its course and infect 100s of millions of people, or social distancing.  There is no other way today.  If you don’t practice social distancing, people downstream from you that you transmit the virus to will die, and many will suffer. 4.    The risk of infection is increasing exponentially, because the quantity of infected people, most who will not show symptoms, is doubling every three days.  So the longer you wait to self-isolate, the greater the chance of you or someone you love becoming infected and then you infecting others because more of the population is becoming infected.  There are twice as many infected people today as there was on Tuesday. 5.    The virus is already in your town.  It’s everywhere.  Cases are typically only discovered when someone gets sick enough to seek medical attention.  This is important as it typically takes ~5 days to START showing ANY symptoms.  Here’s the math:  For every known case there are approximately 50 unknown cases.  This is because if I become sick, I infect several people today, and they infect a few people each tomorrow (as do I), and the total count of infected people doubles every 3 days until I get so sick I get hospitalized or get tested and become a “known case”.  But in the time it takes me to figure out I am sick 50 others downline from me now have the virus.  So every third day the infection rate doubles until I get so sick that I realize I have the virus an am hospitalized or otherwise tested.  Harvard and Massachusetts General Hospital estimate that there are 50x more infections than known infections as reported (citation below).  The implication of this is that the virus is already “everywhere” and spreading regardless if your city has zero, few or many reported cases.  So instead of the 1573 reported known cases today there are likely 78,650 cases, at least, in the United States.  Which will double to 157,300 by this Sunday.  And this will double to 314,600 cases by this coming Wednesday.  So in less than 1 week the number of total infected in the United States will quadruple.  This is the nature of exponential math.  It’s actually unfortunate that we are publishing the figures for known cases as it diverts attention away from more important numbers (like the range of estimated actual cases).  [Update as of 3/15/20 - I've been sent more research that may add clarity to the ACTUAL cases vs CONFIRMED cases and will update this post with any conclusions] 6.  Some people cannot, or will not, practice social distancing for a variety of reasons and will continue to spread the virus to many people.  So everyone else must start today.   The reasons above are why I have begun to practice social distancing.   It’s not easy.  But you should do it too. The hospitals will be at capacity and there are not enough ventilators. You will hear a lot about this issue in the coming few weeks... the shortage of ventilators. ISSUE TWO:  MANY PEOPLE ARE FOCUSED ON THE WRONG NUMBERS: Yes, the virus only kills a small percentage of those afflicted.  Yes, the flu kills 10s of thousands of people annually.  Yes, 80% of people will experience lightweight symptoms with COVID19.  Yes the mortality rate of COVID19 is relatively low (1-2%).  All of this true, but is immaterial.  They are the wrong numbers to focus on...   The nature of exponential math is that the infection rates start slowly, and then goes off like a bomb and overwhelms the hospitals. You will understand this math clearly in the next section if you do the short math exercise.  Evergreen hospital in Seattle is already in triage. I have heard credible reports from people on the ground that they are already becoming overwhelmed.  And the bomb won't really go off for a few more days.  Probably by Wednesday, March 18th (next week).  In just a few days from now we will hear grave reports from Seattle hospitals.   [update as of 3/15/20 - see the comments section below for an update from a staff member at Evergreen Hospital in Kirkland, WA] You should assume the virus is everywhere at this point, even if you have no confirmed cases in your area. YOU SHOULD DO THIS SIMPLE 2 MINUTE MATH EXERCISE (NO REALLY TAKE TWO MINUTES AND DO IT): To further understand exponential growth, take the number of confirmed cases in your area and multiply by 10 (or 50 if you believe Harvard and Massachusetts General estimations) to account for the cases that are not yet confirmed. If you have no confirmed cases choose a small number.   I’d suggest 10 cases in your city, if no cases are yet reported.  But you can use whatever number you like.  This number of infected people doubles every ~3 days as the infection spreads. So literally take your number, and multiply by 2. Then do it again. Then do it again. Then do it again. Do this multiplication exercise 10 times in total. 2 x 2 x 2 x 2 x 2 x 2 x 2 x 2 x 2 x 2 x (the number of estimated infections in your city today (not just the reported cases)).   This result is the estimate for the actual cases in your area 30 days from now.  The math will take 30 seconds to complete with a calculator and it’s worth doing the math to see how it grows.  This end number is the number of cases in your city 30 days from today if a large percentage of the population do not practice social distancing.   2 to the 10th power is 1024.  When something doubles 10 times, it's the same as multiplying by 1024.  The infection rate of the virus doubles every 3 days.  In thirty days there will be 1,024 times the number of infected people in your area as there is today if your community does not immediately put social distancing into practice.  One thousand and twenty four times as many infected people as there is today, in just 30 days.   Next, divide the final number (the scary big one) you just calculated by the current population of your city and you will be able to get the percentage of people THAT YOU KNOW PERSONALLY who will be infected 30 days from now.   Next take 15% (multiply by 0.15) of that final 30 day number of total infected people (the number you calculated by multiplying by 2 ten times). This will provide an estimate of the serious cases which will require hospitalization, and compare it to the number of beds and ventilators available at your local hospital.  Google the "number of beds" and the name of your local hospital now.  It takes 2 seconds and the number of beds is easy to find.  65% of beds are already occupied by patients unrelated to the coronavirus.  St Charles in Bend, Oregon where I live, has 226 beds and the town is roughly 100,000 people.  Most hospitals have on average, 40 or fewer ventilators.  5% of patients require ICU treatment.  There are very few ICU beds compared to regular beds in hospitals.  There are very few negative pressure areas in any hospital to deal with the containment of airborne diseases.   These numbers you just calculated are the Big Problem:  Too many patients, not enough beds, and a serious shortage of ventilators (the biggest problem) if we don't immediately begin social distancing.  More on this biggest problem related to the insufficient quantity of ventilators is below. COUNTRIES THAT GET OVERWHELMED WILL HAVE A MUCH GREATER MORTALITY RATE BECAUSE THEY WON’T BE ABLE TO ADEQUATELY CARE FOR THE SICK.   And by sick I mean not just coronavirus patients.  Your son or daughter that needs acute care surgery this May for his badly broken leg will be attended to by an orthopedic doctor that has been working at maximum capacity and working 18 hour shifts for 7 days every week for 6 weeks because it was required to care for all the coronavirus patients at her hospital.  Or the orthopedic surgeon will be sick with the virus and your son or daughter will be operated on in a tent in the hospital parking lot by a non-expert or a member of the National Guard.  Your elderly Mom that has diabetes and goes into acute distress next month may not receive ANY medical care because the doctors are consumed and have to prioritize patients based on triage guidelines based on success rate probabilities.  Your sibling’s family that are all injured in a terrible car crash in June will have diminished care.  If one of them needs a ventilator there will be none available because all of them will be in use by critical coronavirus patients.  Your young friend with cancer and a compromised immune system from treatment will succumb even though the cancer was curable and the treatment was working, because their body was too fragile to combat the coronavirus due to the chemotherapy and they couldn't receive the customized, acute care required due to the hospital being overwhelmed.  All of the above is currently happening in Italy, who had the same number of infections we have today just 2 weeks ago.  You must start social distancing today. The count of actual virus infections doubles every ~3 days. The news and government agencies are lagging in their response. So we hear that the US only has 1573 cases today (3/12/20) [update as of 3/15/20:  3115 confirmed cases), ( see https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/) and it doesn't seem like a lot.  It would be better to report the estimated actual cases, since reported cases don’t tell us much.  However, we know from China that the actual number of cases are at least an order of magnitude greater than the reported cases, because people get infected and do not display symptoms.  In math, an "order of magnitude" means ten times difference, or put another way, a factor of 10.  100 is 10 times greater than 10, so it's an order of magnitude greater.   Harvard Medical School / Massachusetts General Hospital just released their estimate (recording is here:   https://externalmediasite.partners.org/Mediasite/Play/53a4003de5ab4b4da5902f078744435a1d) that the actual cases are 50x greater than the reported cases.  So we likely have 75,000 cases in the United States already.  The number of reported cases is not that important. But let’s assume the current number of cases is only 10,000 ACTUAL cases in the United States just to be conservative and model out what will happen: If we don’t stop the virus from spreading, in 30 days we will have 2 to the 10th power more cases of infected people because the infection count doubles every 3 days (the virus doubles every 3 days and there are 10, 3 day periods in 30 days).   The math: 2 to the 10th power means 1,024 times as many cases as we have today (2 times 2 repeated 10 times).   This number is a catastrophically big problem for all of us:  We will have 10 million+ actual cases (10,000 actual cases today x 1,024) in the United States in just 30 days’ time if we continue without extreme social distancing.  10 million people with the virus.  And it will keep doubling every 3 days unless we practice social distancing. 15% of cases require significant medical attention, which means that 1.5 million people will require significant medical attention if 10 million people get infected (15% of 10 Million total infections = 1.5 million people requiring hospitalization).   1.5 million hospitalizations is way more than we have beds for at hospitals in the United States.  And 65% of all beds are already occupied in our hospitals.  But many patients (5%) with the virus need ICU beds, not just any old hospital bed.  Only about 10% of hospital beds are considered intensive care beds.  So we will have a huge bed shortage, but that is not the biggest problem, as we can erect temporary ICU shelters and bring in more temporary beds, as Italy has already done, and California and Washington hospitals have already done.   Evergreen Hospital in Seattle has already erected temporary triage tents in the parking lot as of 3/13/20.  All regular beds are full at Evergreen Hospital as of yesterday. Once the government of China, Norway, and Italy came to understand this math, they reacted accordingly and shut EVERYTHING down.  [update as of 3/15/20 now France has done the same lockdown]. Extreme social distancing is the only response available to stop the virus today.  The United States is not responding well nor are other countries like  the UK.  Countries that do not respond well will pay a much larger, catastrophic price. But hospital beds are not the big problem.  The lack of ventilators is the big problem.  Most estimates peg the ventilators in the United States at roughly 100,000 to 150,000 units.  See the study from last month: http://www.centerforhealthsecurity.org/resources/COVID-19/200214-VentilatorAvailability-factsheet.pdf The primary and most serious comorbid (comorbid is a medical term that means co-existing or happening at the same time) condition brought on by the Coronavirus is something called bilateral interstitial pneumonia which requires ventilators for treatment of seriously ill patients.  So if 1.5M people of the 10 million infected 30 days from now require hospital care (15% of the 10M estimated total infections), 1.3M may not get the care that they need because we don’t have enough ventilators, beds, and ICU beds in the United States.  And remember, this is only if ALL OF US EFFECTIVELY start social distancing by April 11th (30 days from today).  This increases the mortality rate significantly. BUT IF WE START EXTREME SOCIAL DISTANCING BY MARCH 23 (12 days from original writing), WE AVOID OVER 1.4 MILLION PEOPLE GETTING CRITICALLY ILL AND OVERWHELMING THE HOSPITALS: If everyone takes extreme measures to social distance, and the United States can dramatically reduce the spread of the virus 12 days from now, the math is very different, as the exponential growth will only be 2 to the 4th power (12 days divided by the doubling rate of every 3 days equals the exponent of 4): 2 x 2 x 2 x 2 = 16 So instead of 10 Million cases in the United States if we wait 30 days, if we act 18 days sooner, we will have only 160,000 cases (16 times the estimated 10,000 actual cases as of today), of which 15% are likely to require hospitalization.  This is 24,000 critical patients (a huge difference compared to 1.5 million acute patients).   The difference between taking extreme measures now, versus waiting even a few days, is very large due to how exponents work in math. THE OUTCOME IS EVEN BETTER IF WE TAKE ACTION IN THE NEXT 6 DAYS:  If the vast majority of the population self isolates and implements social distancing in only 6 days from now the exponential math is 2 to the 2nd power (6 days divided by the 3 days it takes the virus to double means the exponent is only 2).  In math this is "two squared". 2 x 2 = 4   Multiplied by the estimated 10,000 ACTUAL cases as of today (3/12/20) that means only 40,000 total cases will develop, 15% of which may be critical which is 6,000 critical patients. This is why you should share this post broadly.  If people begin social distancing in the next 6 days it will greatly reduce the impact on all of us.  It's why they say a "post goes viral". SOCIAL DISTANCING WILL REDUCE THE FINANCIAL IMPACT TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY: Finally, the longer everyone waits to practice significant social distancing the greater the economic hardship will be on all of us.  Lost jobs.  Mortgage defaults.  Closed businesses.  Bankruptcies.   All will be minimized if you start social distancing today. Some of the reasons the economic impacts will be reduced are worth mentioning:  If we stop the virus now the overall duration of the outbreak will be far shorter.  The stock market will normalize more quickly and recover more quickly.  Businesses and people will be able to survive a shorter duration outbreak vs a longer duration outbreak.   More companies will avoid bankruptcy if we begin to practice social distancing now. This is a big financial reason to begin social distancing if you are employed by any company:  if companies see that the virus is being slowed, they will be less likely to conduct layoffs.  You will be more likely to be laid off or experience a job-related event if we don’t practice social distancing immediately.  As an HR executive, I’ve been involved in many, many layoffs.  It’s the last thing companies want to do.  But if they see that the pandemic will be shorter lived vs long and drawn out, they are less likely to make the permanent decision of laying off staff. The overall economic impact that hits your bank account will be greater if you wait or you don’t practice social distancing.   This is why Norway acted now, because it’s less economic impact to take drastic measures early than to do them later, and it saves a lot of lives and suffering by doing so.  And Norway has only one confirmed death as of this writing.   Many people have suggested they want to support local restaurants and other businesses, who have seen sales drop by 50-90%.  Stopping by and visiting them won't save them.  What will save them is social distancing and what you do after the pandemic is over.  If you are concerned, call them and buy a gift certificate over the phone. START TODAY.  I CAN’T STRESS THIS ENOUGH.  YOU MUST START TODAY.   Finally, the article that I posted yesterday written by Tomas Pueyo has been read 30M times in the last few days and has been updated with new information.  It’s worth reading again. Here’s that link.   https://medium.com/@tomaspueyo/coronavirus-act-today-or-people-will-die-f4d3d9cd99ca Other up to date data I frequently consult regarding the pandemic is here: https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/ I hope this is helpful and useful.  My brain focuses on the math and I try and be fact based in my analysis and interpretation of how I should respond. THERE IS MORE INFORMATION IN THE COMMENTS BELOW WORTH READING AND I WILL BE UPDATING THIS POST, AND THE COMMENTS, WITH MORE INFORMATION, (AS OPPOSED TO CREATING NEW POSTS). MY FINAL PARTING THOUGHT:  Please share or forward this post at your discretion.   If everyone shares this post and two of your friends share this post and so on, we use the power of exponential math to work in our favor, which seems appropriate given the virus is using that same exponential math against us.   HOW YOU CAN REALLY HELP:  If you know people who have large numbers of followers, or people in the media, please leverage your personal relationship with them and ask them to amplify this post by sharing it or the Medium Post (link below)   For people not on Facebook you can email or text the link.   It would be useful to get the post on Twitter and LinkedIn by sharing the Medium post.  If you know people in government this fact-based post may help inform them to make the best decisions.   It's time for us humans to go on the offensive against the virus.  We must fight back.   There is only one way to do so:  Social Distancing.   Do it today. NOTE:  Anyone, including the media, is free to use this post, any related content, in all or in part, for any purpose, in any format, with no attribution required. Please direct message me if you have other ideas for how to raise awareness. Finally, I can no longer keep up with friend requests given how much this post has been shared.  To receive updates or follow me, please use the "Follow" button on Facebook.   3/16/20:  I am preparing a second post, now that 4 days have gone by since the first post. To receive it please follow me on FB.  I can not keep up with the friend requests. https://medium.com/@Jason_Scott_Warner/the-sober-math-everyone-must-understand-about-the-pandemic-2b0145881993 https://www.facebook.com/jason.scott.warner/posts/10163742243430144

[this-lioness]

Weekend Review

Long, boring and mundane, as usual, but I find it relaxing.

The last two grocery orders for my Mom were only about 1/3 to 1/2 full, and I knew that wasn’t going to hold her very long.  Food is readily available in the stores, it’s just that the stores are no longer doing substitutions for out-of-stock items, so if there are six versions of a given item available online you have to hope that the one you pick is one they have in stock, otherwise you’re not getting anything at all.  Your only choice is to keep ordering and ordering and ordering or physically go into the store.  Ugh.

There’s a Grocery Outlet up the street from us, and we decided Friday afternoon would probably be less crowded than a Saturday morning, and took our chances going out.  We wore masks and gloves, to be safe, and I left most everything home -- purse, glasses, phone.  I didn’t want to have to decontaminate more than I absolutely had to.

It went pretty smoothly, all things considered.  We have a full decontamination area in the pantry now: drop cloth on the floor, rolling rack with a bleach-water solution, washable wipes, clean grocery bags and gloves.  So we bring everything in through the back gate, I spray everything down with bleach (or SimpleGreen, if we’re worried about bleach getting on it) in the pantry, let it sit, then Marc wipes it dry and transfers it either to our own cabinets or into clean bags for my Mom.  Produce gets transferred directly to the sink where it’s washed with warm, soapy water and then dried.

Is it enough?  I don’t know.  It’s certainly a whole process, which makes me feel like we’re doing some amount of good, but I suppose you can’t really know for sure right now.

Saturday morning we had our breakfast biscuit sandwiches and coffee, then packed up (what we thought was) all my Mom’s groceries and drove them over.  En route she texted me to ask for Splenda (*sigh*) and a flashlight, because Jim uses a flashlight to navigate to the bathroom at night.  By then it was too late, but it turns out we’d forgotten all her frozen items anyway, so I told her I’d bring it the next day.

Dropped everything off with her and then went to Lowes to pick up garden soil and some drainage rock.  It was still cold and cloudy out, but warm enough that we got a good hour or so of work done in the back yard -- mostly cleaning up the winter muck.

A few months ago we bought a stack of old icing buckets from a baker ($1 each!) and Marc drilled holes in the bottom and layered them with rock and soil.  He also dug up one of the original three blackberry beds which we decided to retire.  I’d planned to just toss the canes, but they were already greening up so nicely that he took the chance they could be salvaged and transferred them to three new planters.  To my surprise they don’t seem shocked at all, so we may be able to keep them going in a better location!

Marc is debating what to do with the retired bed, but we’ll probably use it to dry firewood or store things off-season.

I went over the blackberry bushes and cut off all the old winter growth and one or two dead canes.  They’re greening up beautifully, and one of them has thrown FIVE NEW CANES, two of which have sprouted in the little gap between beds.  Complete assholes.  I rocked off the gap so it is now unofficially our new third berry bed, and gave it a stern talking-to about behaving itself from now on.  I swear to God those canes grew more since just yesterday.

The raspberries are greening up, but not so vigorously.  I need the time to get them back in order, frankly -- we have to completely redo the training wire.  There’s fucking thistle everywhere, I want to scream.  The harder you try to get rid of the stuff the more aggressively it spreads.

Blueberries are greening up as well.  I acidified the soil as best I could, but we’re giving them just this year to prove themselves.  If they can’t grow berries I can’t spare the garden space, and frankly it’s just too much work trying to acidify their beds.  The blackberries and raspberries would literally kill their mother to take over that space, and I’d love to try some gooseberries or something else new and different.

I pulled last year’s baby maples from their winter bed and gave them a once-over.  They’ve got tiny little buds on them, it looks like they all made it -- a good five or six at least!  I’ve got them in the sun now, anyway, to see if we can coax them fully back to life.

After choring I cleaned litter boxes, showered, then came downstairs and completely tore the pantry apart -- mud room, cabinet pantry, and the two sides of the kitchen island where we normally keep canned goods.

We normally keep a very well-stocked pantry, but I wanted a better idea of everything we had, and it was starting to get cluttered in a way that made it hard to get everything.  I spent a good few hours -- and Marc even got into it, and was a huge help -- taking everything out, combining items, moving some bulk goods to air-tight containers, and then sorting it all back new spots.

I had a bunch on hand that was more than we needed, and offered to bring it to my Mom with her frozen stuff.  In exchange she offered us some polenta and a few frozen items that neither she nor Jim would eat.  Good trade.

I’ve run past Marc the idea of organizing his tool chest as well, which is currently a six-foot-tall column of absolute madness that I have to avert my eyes from, but it seems like that’s going to wait until tomorrow.  Ah well.

Had tacos, watched Onward (I wasn’t expecting much but I actually really liked it), played some Animal Crossing and went to bed.  Good day.

This morning Marc made chocolate chip waffles and then we popped back out again.  The plan was just to drop the groceries off at my Mom’s, but we managed to get a few other things done: brought over the old tiered planter so she can use it for herbs and annuals, and set up the frame for a raised garden bed so she can grow some veggies (with my help, no doubt).  Later this week I’ll go over and lay down some weed blocker for her and fill it with soil.  I’ve got more than enough broccoli sprouts to spare and I’m sure the same will be true with the peppers, so she’ll have that if nothing else.

Afterwards we hit Lowes again, picking up a few more bags of top soil, bird seed, and more buckets.

Today was absolutely beautiful, cloudy on-and-off but warm and good for gardening.  We did a bang up job!

Marc gathered all the old wood paneling and other crap that’s been accumulating and got it into one spot so we can call a haul-away company.  He also cleaned up most of the leaf litter from around the yard and helped me organize the little collapsible greenhouse we got for free late last year.  It’s really handy, we’re already talking about replacing it with something more permanent.

I planted some of the broccoli sprouts and put them out in the sun.  Here’s hoping!  The three onion bulbs I planted a few weeks ago were sprouting up green so I got those into a planter and plugged most of the rest of the bulbs into biodegradable containers to see if we can get them growing as well.  Onions seem complicated, but I’ll do my best.

I’ve been saving every kind of little container I could get my hands on, these past weeks, and I filled them all up with soil and got some eggplant seeds going as well.  The bell peppers are just now starting to sprout, they need a bit longer, but I think they’ll get there.  Also planted some pinto beans and cat grass.  I’ve still got some baby spinach and pumpkins to get going, but I’m holding onto those for just now.

We sorted the “guest” patio chairs off into the side yard, as we don’t really anticipate having anyone over this summer.  We can always break them out again if we need to, it’s easy enough, but right now I’ve got almost every single sunny spot dedicated to something we can grow and eat.

We’ll have tomatoes at some point, too, but I’d prefer to buy them as seedlings.  I’m already unsure just how well the current round of babies is going to do.  I’m so worried about that broccoli, but I guess at some point you have to just let it do its thing and hope for the best.

I hope everything comes up.  I’ve read everything I can, but sometimes it all gets confused and muddled, so at some point I just sort of have to... hope.  Supposedly last year’s corn should return, but man... I don’t know.  We’ll keep an eye on it.  If it hasn’t come up by the time seedlings start appearing in the store we’ll just pull them up and replant.  That was a wonderful exercise last year.

We also put out more clover seed in the front (last year’s clover is BOOMING), and spread some wildflower seeds around as well.  Marc filled up the bird feeders, hosed off the patio and set up the chairs.  We’re going to buy a better pressure washer than the old electric one we have from the old house, both for our use and so my parents don’t have to keep hiring someone to clean their siding.  That will make a big difference.

It’s amazing what a difference an afternoon of work made in the back yard -- it looks and feels so much better.  Afterwards we got showered up and changed, and then a little bit ago I made some veggie fried brown rice with steamed veggie dumplings.  A little later on I’m going to make us some sakura lattes and maybe something light to snack on for dessert.

And how are you?

[nickgerlich]

Opportunity Plan

Many years ago, one of my most prescient students raised his hand quietly in class. We had been discussing SWOT Analysis. You know. When a company is supposed to objectively list its strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats.

Michael, already a seasoned businessman at a young age, had a firm grip on reality. He knew how to sell ice to an Eskimo. But more importantly, he knew how to make lemonade when all he had was a crate of pucker-inducing lemons.

“Behind every threat is a golden opportunity,” he said. Mic drop. Dead silence.

I fumbled for words, because I had never thought of it quite like that. I saw “threats” and “opportunities” as non-overlapping magisteria, two very mutually exclusive entities as opposite as night and day. I affirmed his very optimistic view of life, and, he being a successful businessman, I accepted his observation as truth, because he then went on to provide some examples from his own life as an entrepreneur.

I have not forgotten this little nugget through the years, and in the 25 that have elapsed, I have come to appreciate it more and more. It takes a business owner with incredible resolve to, when faced with impending doom and gloom, always look on the bright side of life.

As we near the end of one of the worst months in recent history, it is important to revisit this philosophical truth. Yes, 3.3 million people filed for unemployment last week. In many states and cities, only “essential” businesses are allowed to be open. But the wise ones among them are thriving, not going down without a fight. In fact, there are quite a few companies actually hiring during the same week that saw our biggest loss in jobs ever.

Not surprisingly, most of those companies who are hiring have the good fortune of being on the short list of essential providers. Amazon, Walmart, Dollar General, Kroger, and others are straining to keep up with demand, whether it be stocking shelves, picking and packing orders, or making deliveries. But it’s not just retailers, as food service companies like Papa John’s, Dominoes, and Pizza Hut are working hard to keep the pizzas coming.

Of course, not everyone has the same luck as the “essential” providers, although as Michael would say, there is an opportunity lurking behind their threats. From fast-casual to fine dining restaurateurs, layoffs have been common, and Cheesecake Factory announced it cannot afford to make April rents on its stores. Other companies, like Chili’s and Olive Garden, known more for their sit-down dining experience rather than takeaway, are vulnerable, too.

And this is where Michael’s thinking needs to be adopted by these companies to try to cobble together a survival plan. You can’t just tell the world you’re not paying rent for very long before landlords start shutting you down entirely.

Those restaurants locked into their way of doing things should seize the opportunity now to introduce new customers to their establishments, as well as invite back the regulars, all the while focusing on takeaway. It’s not going to lessen the consumption experience one iota right now if people have to take home their cheesecake, deep-fried onion, or breadsticks and pasta.

If anything, it shows that you are committed to being around long after the dust settles on COVID-19. Cheesecake Factory has apparently already started writing its own eulogy, hardly a long-term survival tactic. Why not make deliveries as well as takeaway? Make it easy for people to spend money with you, not hard.

To be fair, not all businesses are going to find an opportunity beneath the Christmas tree, behind a threat, or anywhere else, if only by virtue of the nature of their business. I get that. But there are a lot of other businesses crying in their beer right now who simply need to take a few sips so the creative juices can start flowing.

For example, what if you own a bike shop? Unless your state or city has ruled out any form of bicycle transportation, it could easily be argued that a bike shop is essential, especially for those who bike-commute everywhere. Maybe not in Amarillo, but definitely in places like New York City. And if recreational cycling is allowed, like under Colorado’s lock down, then why not make yourself available for that most important of Spring services for anyone riding a bike? You know, a tune-up.

Yeah. It would be easy to arrange for contact-free drop-offs and pick-ups in front of the shop, with payments by phone or online. Heck, exercise is one of the best things we can be doing now, soaking up Vitamin D and keeping limber. If your bike has been sitting in dry dock all winter, now is the time to dust it off and get it read to roll. Bike shops should be bending over backwards to offer their services.

I’m proud to have had such an intelligent student in my class. I’ve had many more since then, for the record, but this one’s words have stuck with me the longest. COVID-19 may be the biggest threat most businesses have ever faced, but it does not mean it is time to pack up and go home.

You just have to take a look behind that threat.

Dr “The Opportunity Is Yours“ Gerlich

Audio Blog

[snarky-badger]

How about a continuation on Ultron and the mechanic student? Student arrives at the penhouse and Ultron is inert doing a defrag and unresponsive. Gentle vandalism/decorating ensures.

Here you go!

Some people wanted smut, so I’m working up to it.

First part - Smooth Criminal. Second part - Movin’ On Up

Over the next month, you’d slowly gotten used to living at the penthouse. Though it was insanely lavish and you still didn’t think you deserved to live there, you didn’t deny that having a place to yourself was nice.

Well, almost to yourself.

While your first application to adopt a cat you’d seen at the shelter had fallen through due to someone else’s application being approved before yours, you did have an eight foot tall AI in the house.

Ultron was a surprisingly good roommate. True, there were days where he was absent, but five out of seven days a week, he shared the space with you; though he was always very respectful of the time you needed to study and the time you needed alone. It was nice, actually, to have someone available to chat with. He even helped you study, even though you knew damned well that he could probably teach the class in his sleep.

He did sleep. Or as close to it as possible. The first time you’d found him unresponsive on the couch, you’d thought something horrible had happened to him. It hadn’t lasted long, an hour at most, but when he’d ‘awoken’ and you’d wept in relief, Ultron had been quick to explain. It was a defrag of his code and systems, something he needed to do from time to time.

It left him almost completely defenseless - though he did have backup bodies and ‘copies’ of himself hidden away somewhere else just in case something happened. The fact that he felt safe enough to let himself be so vulnerable in your presence was a little flattering.

So, when you got home that day, tired from a long day at University, and a longer stint at the hospital from a slight accident - good Lord you weren’t looking forward to explaining your badly bruised knee to Ultron - and found him in that state, you couldn’t stop the slightly evil smirk from spreading across your lips.

Snickering, you pulled a pack of vinyl stickers out of your bag. You’d been waiting for a chance to get him back after he’d found packs of ramen in your backpack and thrown them out, and this was perfect.

You weren’t deemed a threat by his systems, so you easily snuck up to him, quickly pasting snarky comment stickers across his chest, arms and one right in the middle of his forehead.

Giggling, satisfied with your work, you slowly hobbled upstairs to your bedroom - goddamn your knee hurt when using the stairs - and headed for the shower. The hot water eased your tense muscles and helped you wash away the stress of the long, long, day, the added scent of oranges from your body wash helping to relax you.

You were squeaky clean and mostly human-feeling fifteen minutes later, redressed in comfortable, loose, jogging pants and your favorite Wonder Woman logo tank top. Hobbling down the stairs was a little harder than going up but you managed, sending a glance over at a still inert Ultron as you headed to the large Kitchen.

The open concept layout of the penthouse let you keep an eye on him while you made yourself supper, taking full advantage of the full fridge that Ultron kept stocked with meats, vegetables and fruits. Honestly, you needed to have a talk with him about how he managed to get food into the penthouse without your help. That, and you missed junk food. You’d kill for a pizza pocket.

Halfway through pan frying a chicken breast, you heard the whir of Ultron’s systems coming back online, heard him groan as he stretched, rolling his shoulders. You knew the moment he noticed his new ‘decorations’, saw him go still out of the corner of your eye as he rose his left arm and tilted his head at the stickers decorating him.

You fought to keep a straight face when he turned to look at you, biting your lip as you vibrated a little from trying to hold back your laughter.

“I see you’ve been busy.”

The amused tone made you snicker, and you kept your gaze locked on the pan as he rose from the couch and walked over to you. You did the mistake of looking up, seeing his quirked brow as he pulled the sticker from his forehead, and bit your lip as he read it aloud.

“’I’m out of my mind but feel free to leave a message’?”

You lost it at the baffled tone of his voice, hiccuping for breath as you leaned against the counter and cackled.

Ultron rolled his eyes at you and propped a hip against the island counter, idly unpeeling stickers from himself as he waited for you to calm down. It took you a full minute to get some control over yourself, wiping at the tears at the corners of your eyes.

“Finished?”

You fizzled, shaking your head.

Ultron heaved a theatrical sigh, then smirked. “Your food’s burning.”

“Aw, fuck!” You barely managed to save the chicken, glowering as you flipped the slightly crispy meat over onto it’s other side. As one of your roommates had once said ‘it’s not burnt, it’s Cajun.’

“Dare I ask if I missed any?” Ultron drawled as he moved to start placing the stickers onto the fridge. You’d slowly started to add your own touches to the penthouse - wall art, small knick knacks - stickers on the fridge wouldn’t bother you in the least.

You gave him a quick once-over, tried not to let your gaze linger on him too long - Jesus Christ what had he built himself to resemble? Some Greek Adonis? - then bit your lip. “Left shoulder.”

He scratched at the curved metal there, peeling off his final ‘decoration’. “‘Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial’? Hey!”

Bit your lip to hold back another laugh as you went to the fridge to grab some asparagus to put in the pan. “I thought it was funny.”

“You have a twisted mind. Are you limping?”

“No?”

Crimson eyes narrowed a little at your brush off. “That’s not something you’re supposed to answer with another question.”

“Ultron, I’m fine. Don’t worry about it, otherwise next time I’ll put stickers someplace you can’t reach.”

“Kinky.” You almost lost it at that. Yelped when he moved to take the pan and spatula out of your hands, moving them out of your reach before he scooped you up and carried you around the island counter to one of the bar stools.

A sigh left you as he gently set you down onto one of the stools. “Ultron–”

“Show me.”

“Goddammit.” Grumbling, you pulled up your right pant leg until your red and swollen knee was visible, shivering a little when he growled. Other than that, Ultron was silent as he crouched and gently prodded at your knee, testing the range of motion and scowling when you flinched with a hiss of pain. “I went to the hospital. They took x-rays and everything. They said it’s just a really bad bruise.”

“It’s a little worse than that.”

“Did you just scan me again? Dude–”

“I scanned your leg, yes. And whatever doctor you saw was either an idiot or blind. You have a hairline fracture of the patella. You shouldn’t be walking on this.” He paused, closing his eyes for a second, head tilting. You knew he was focusing his attention on one of his other forms, his ‘sentries’ as he called them. “I’ve got a sentry incoming with better medical supplies. What happened?”

“Ultron…” It shouldn’t be possible for an eight-foot AI to have a kicked-puppy look, but somehow, he managed. You sighed and glanced away. “I got pushed down the stairs.”

His expression darkened. “By whom? That idiot in your class that has it out for you?” When you didn’t say anything, he glowered. “Is he being penalized at least?”

“No witnesses, no proof,” you muttered, recounting what the head of the mechanics program had told you when you’d gone to him, telling him of the asshole’s attitude towards you. As if being a woman in a male dominated field wasn’t hard enough, you had your own personal bully to deal with along with an uncaring teacher. You’d have thought all that shit was only in high school, not University.

Assholes were everywhere, apparently.

“They want proof? Oh, I’ll give them proof,” Ultron growled, voice like gravel, and you blinked as you refocused on him. You’d never really seen him angry before. Upset yes, irritated, of course, but not full on pissed. “Are you willing to press charges?”

“Charges? What, like the cops? Ultron–”

“He assaulted you. You’re lucky you didn’t break your neck.” He visibly struggled to reel in his anger, his hands rising to lightly clasp yours. “Are you hurt anywhere else?”

The worry in his voice threw you for a loop. “No. No, just sore. Might have some more bruises tomorrow, but it’s nothing serious.”

“You didn’t hit your head?”

“Nothing hurts.” You blinked when he rose to his full height, his hands sliding into your still damp hair. His fingers gently prodded at your skull, smoothing over your scalp, and you frowned when he grumbled and tapped at a spot near your ear, the touch making you wince.

“Just a bump. Still. You’re lucky.” He slid his arms around you, and you froze a little in surprise before leaning into the hug, closing your eyes when he rose a hand to cup the back of your head.

“I’m alright,” you murmured to him as you curled your arms around his waist, hugging him back. Felt him sigh and relax into you, bending a little to nuzzle his face into your hair. “I promise I’m alright.”

“You could have been seriously hurt.”

You blinked when you realized that there was actual fear in his voice. Tried to pull away to look up at him, except he held you tighter. “Ultron?”

He gave you a squeeze before pulling away, his hands rising to cup your face, crimson eyes searching yours before he leaned in and rest his forehead against yours, voice soft. “You’re my only friend, do you know that? The only person who’s not afraid of me on this entire planet. I have no one else. And the thought of losing you–”

His voice cut off, his eyes roaming your face, looking for something. Your confusion wasn’t what he was hoping to see, crimson eyes narrowing a little before he sighed and started to pull away.

Except you reached up to touch his face, thumb brushing across the tiny, intricate, pieces of metal that gave him such in depth expressions. He froze, and you met his gaze for an instant before you said ‘fuck it’ to all the warning bells in your head, and leaned in to kiss him.

He made a low noise of surprise, tensing, stiff against you, and, thinking you’d just ruined everything, you jerked away, flushing in shame. “I’m sorry. I–”

“Shh.” One large metal hand cupped the side of your face, tugging you close again, and whatever apology you had been planning on saying died as he lowered his mouth onto yours, warm metal brushing across your lips, gentle at first, then with more hunger. The little nip he gave you made you gasp, pulling a low chuckle from him as he leaned back. “Took you long enough.”

“Took me–? Dude! Why didn’t you say something?”

“Because I’m an AI in a metal body and I didn’t want to scare you away.” There was a hint of self-loathing in Ultron’s voice, and you reached up to lay your hand over his where he was still cupping the side of your face.

“We both know that I don’t scare easy.”

A low chuckle left him. “True.” His thumb lightly stroked your face, and you leaned into the touch, shivering a little when he settled his free hand on the small of your back, fingers slipping under the hem of your tank to touch bare skin.

“Stupid question: can you feel this?” You trailed your left hand along his throat, and down, palming his chest armor, fingers finally free to explore the intricate pieces of metal he had made himself out of. The shudder that went through him was an emphatic ‘yes’.

“T-Tactile systems,” Ultron stuttered, crimson eyes brightening a little, and you smirked, casually continuing your exploration of him. “Microscopic overlay woven over every piece and connected to a nervous system a-analog– That’s very distracting.”

“I’m a mechanic. We’re very ‘hand’s on’.”

“I’ll show you ‘hand’s on’.”

You laughed as he relocated you from the bar stool to the island counter, the change in height saving him from having to bend over so much. As soon as you were settled, his mouth was on yours, his hands slipping under your top to palm your sides, stroking over your skin. You shivered at the low noise of pleasure that left him when you copied his movements, exploring his form, fingers dipping past his outer armor to touch more reactant parts that had him gasping against you.

A thud from the second floor had you pulling away in alarm. “What was that?”

“Sentry.” Ultron ducked his head to nuzzle the side of your neck, grazing his mouth across your pulse. “Don’t worry. Nothing can get near this penthouse without me knowing about it. I built the security system myself.”

“If I find a single camera in the bathrooms–”

He chuckled and rose his head. “There are no cameras in the bathrooms. There are only sensors to monitor if they’re occupied, that’s it.”

“Okay then.” You turned your head to watch as the sentry descended the stairs. Ultron had told you that he could ‘inhabit’ multiple bodies at the same time, that he could be hundreds of places all at once, but actually seeing it was something else.

It was much more basic in design than Ultron. It was just a little taller than you at around six feet, with only two slits for it’s eyes and a gaping mouth on an otherwise expressionless face. It didn’t move as fluidly as Ultron either, walking stiffly over to the two of you to hand over the large black case it was carrying.

You mourned the lack of contact as Ultron pulled away from you to lift the large case and set it on the counter, flicking open the locks to reveal the biggest, most elaborate first aid kit you’d ever seen. “Wow.”

“SHIELD always has the nicest toys,” Ultron mused with a smirk as he carefully rummaged through the kit.

“You knicked this from SHIELD?!”

“A while back, yes. Long before I met you, actually. Didn’t really think I’d ever need to use it, but, well, finder’s keepers and all that. Aha! There it is.” He pulled out a brightly labeled pill bottle and handed it to you. “One pill, three times a day, for two weeks. It’ll speed up your healing. Hopefully you won’t need to use the crutches for more than a week.”

Your amazement died. “Crutches?”

“You need to stay off that leg,” Ultron told you firmly. “If that hairline fracture worsens, your recovery time will quadruple. I’ve already falsified a doctor’s note for you and emailed it to your teachers - and the faculty heads of the mechanics department - so you can take a couple of days off without being penalized for it. And yes, I sent copies to the Shop you work at.”

You shook your head a little in mixed amazement and hilarity. “You really are a mother-hen.”

“I resent that. Ugh, there’s no brace in here. I’ll have to wrap your knee until I can find one for you.” He unwrapped a roll of elastic bandage, flicking the plastic away before moving over to you, lifting your leg so you could prop your foot against his hip. “Don’t move, okay? I need to make sure this isn’t too tight.”

“Yup.” Had an awesome vantage point of seeing his hands move as he rapidly wrapped your leg from mid-thigh down to mid-calf. What would have taken a human minutes, Ultron finished in five seconds. It even fit perfectly - though knowing Ultron, he’d probably run calculations seven times over to ensure that it fit. “Thanks.”

“Welcome. Here, hold this to your knee.” He cracked a ‘quick cold’ pack, shaking it a little to encourage the chemical reaction within, then handed it to you. You dutifully pressed it to your knee, holding it in place until he found some medical tape to take over the job. “There. That’ll do for now. How does it feel?”

You flexed it a little, the elastic bandage limiting your movements. “Not bad. Though it’s always the next day that hurts the most.”

“The bandage should help keep the swelling down. I’ll adjust it again tomorrow.” Ultron quickly reorganized the massive kit, then closed it and relocked it. “Now, knowing you, you haven’t eaten anything since breakfast.”

“I had a muffin!” He sent you a knowing look, and you glanced away. “And six cups of coffee.”

“You’re exasperating, you know that?” Though the comment was greatly lessened by the kiss he stole as he carefully relocated you back onto a bar stool. “Sit tight. I’ll finish fixing your supper.”

“I can–” The look he gave you made you abort your attempt to get to your feet. “I’ll just sit right here, then. Since when can you cook?”

“Since you moved in.” He had his back to you, so he didn’t see the blush that stained your face, or how it intensified as you let your gaze slowly travel down his body. “Besides, it’s basic chemistry. Enjoying the view?”

You jerked, had to grab at the edge of the counter to keep from falling off the chair. “What, you have eyes in the back of your head?”

Ultron laughed, smirking at you over his shoulder. “Forgot about the sentry, hm?”

Your gaze flit over to the stock still form nearby as Ultron’s voice echoed out of it. “Son of a– Okay, pick a body and stick to it, please. You’re flustering the human.”

“But, you’re cute when you’re flustered.” At least this time his voice came from the right body.

Your eyes narrowed. “I have more stickers.”

“I wouldn’t threaten the person who doesn’t need to sleep for the next week if I were you,” Ultron teased, showing off by flipping the piece of chicken and stalks of asparagus into the air and catching everything in the frying pan again. “I know about the Hagen Daaz you snuck in.”

“Touch the ice cream and next time it won’t be stickers, it’ll be permanent marker.”

“Oooh. I’m shaking.”

“Smart ass.”

“You love me.”

[kittywildegrrl]

MAMA CAT AND THE LATEST

In Which MamaCat Temporarily Loses Momentum, but has a pretty good story to tell anyway.

Honestly, darlings, did any of you also get this email this week???

“I'm XXXXX XXX-XXX from Beijing Film Academy, A film production company based in Singapore.,I saw your posted on MN FILM TV and after reviewing your profile,i feel excited with your past experiences,Kindly confirm your availability and email your recent resume to(beijingfilmacademy777@gmail.com) so i'll get back to you with the job details.Your prompt response will be highly appreciated.Thanks and God bless.”

Make of it what you will. There really is a Beijing Film Academy but it’s a .edu, not a gmail.com. Just saying.

While Mother puts that research on the back burner, let me mention here that the whole #AllFemale1776In2020 idea is alive and kicking, even though it took a week off when MamaCat lost her elder cat (actual cat). Say hello or join up at www.happycatranchproductions.com and hit us up on the contact page. Don’t worry, we have not yet begun to ask for money.

Since last I wrote, darlings, we have had to bid our Lebowski goodbye, I did not get to start my latest temp job (so back to the interview & outreach phase AGAIN), the dryer broke so we have had to go to the laundromat, and there were some pretty nasty events in the TwitterVerse and the RacismVerse. Also the nastiest week of the hottest month on record, pretty much everywhere. AND THEN THERE’S THE “CATS” TRAILER.

So… yeah… let’s talk about showbiz and self-actualization and how cool it is when cool stuff happens... I’m just going to sit down here and think of beautiful unicorns who exhale love and fart glitter…

I had promised someone recently that I would tell this story: of how all of that traveling back and forth to and from various places, and focusing on what a sweet young Golden Girl can do to break through in her acting career, has begun to lead to some really cool stuff. Quick flashback montage to actual rooms in the actual 80s and things I actually heard: “You’re very funny but you don’t fit your type”; “We can’t cast you the way you are unless you want to go blonde and get a boob job”; “You’re very talented but you won’t work until you’re over 40”; “We just can’t cast flat-chested brunettes”; “You can always come back to the business when you’re older”…

So when I got older and got some theatre work and made some friends in New York City, I began to try to face my dragons and see where I can fit into the business as it exists in the 21st century. One of those dragons is called, A Camera. In younger days, I feared the Camera as some fear the dance studio mirror or monologue auditions. Whole lotta personal issues, cats and kittens. (News Flash: Actor Admits to Personal Issues! First Time in Recorded History! Ghost of Aristophanes Dies Laughing!)

I faced down the Camera Dragon by taking some classes through Actors Launchpad. I figured I’d be the oldest, or in the top 3 oldest, in every class – and I was right! And it was scary! But then in walks Amazing Casting Director, with a half-eaten wrap in one hand and a large nearly-cold half-finished coffee in the other. She greets me, recognizing me from a recent summer stock role, because she had made it her business to look up every one of us online prior to class. So in one movement, she simultaneously made me feel welcome and seen, and also gave me a big fast lesson in professionalism: look people up. Get to know them in advance. Start the relationships off on the right foot by acknowledging humans for who they are.

(I was suddenly REALLY glad that I already had looked her up in advance and gotten to know her work as a CD. See how that works?)

I held off in class as we began to do our on-camera readings. I wanted to see what the younger actors in the room were like, what the actors closer to my own age were like, what Amazing CD’s feedback was like… oh, BS. MamaCat was scared AF! I sat there watching my colleagues’ work while I was working on all the various breathing & centering exercises for calming oneself in the midst of trying something new with a lot of risk involved. And, as we went along, I thought to myself, I can handle this, I really can.

My scene was pulled from a crime procedural; I was playing some kind of DA or judge or something cool and authoritative like that. I had been studying the actors on Massively Successful Series (casting by Amazing CD), and the really tense, underplayed, authentic work they were doing. It translated perfectly as a guideline for my scene for class. I called upon the spirits of Streep and of Eastwood to guide me. My reading partner was a real talent who gave back as good as he got.

The scene ended. The room was silent. Amazing CD said, “YES, Diana!” The class applauded.

Not every class I took at ALP that first fall went that well, but I learned something every time, and I go back to Actors Launchpad every time I’m in the City. That’s one of the things I’m doing there in Gotham City, instead of the spendy, touristy stuff. And over time, it pays off in so many ways.

Fade out, fade in; Amazing CD has me in to read for an under-five for that Massively Successful Series. Then she has me in to read for Sitcom Pilot. She requests a self-tape here and a self-tape there. Then one day… she reaches out to me for a self-tape audition for an actual speaking role in an honest-to-Josh* feature film that will be shooting on location near me.

AND I BOOK IT.

Oh, the obstacles I had to overcome to get myself on-set for that glorious day. There’s a hilarious chapter about SAG-AFTRA and a lifetime of mistaken thingys. There was a serio-comic chapter about the non-union commercial spot shoot I had to back out of and the reaction that surprised me. It’s worth several more blog posts just telling those.

But here is the point of today’s missive: I faced down the Camera Dragon, learned from the experience, and by improving my skillset and my attitude towards booking work and where I want to go, things began to shift for me. I got my really and truly for realz SAG-AFTRA membership this year, working opposite the actual real-live Tony-Award-winning, Oscar-nominated, Mr. Frank Langella, he of Frost-Nixon and of Dracula, in a one-on-one scene in a real movie that will most likely really come out, and will most likely actually contain that scene.

Working with Frank Langella was like acting with someone you’ve known forever and been partnered with a million times. And now I am One Degree of Kevin Bacon.

There’s your lesson in courage and valor in the face of overwhelming odds, jazz babies and hepcats. You got this. In the words of Commander Peter Quincy Taggart, “Never give up! Never Surrender.”

 Meow, darlings.

 *See, “Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff,” by Christopher Moore. You’ll thank me later.

[inviisiiblelee]

ookay so absolutely no one asked for this post but i’ve been so unreliable lately with literally everything that i figure i can at least explain what’s been going on for the last six months or so. i know i’ve briefly touched on this to others in discord and some of this has been viewable through some of my other posts and all but, here’s a big block of text explaining why i fall in and out of tumblr, discord and everywhere else i exist online

TL;DR?:  I’m depressed, anxious, & or in a panic pretty much all the time, and disability has really effed me over.

I lived in an incredibly quietly abusive home for the last fifteen years of my life. I am just now turned twenty.

when i say this, i don’t mean it in any kind of roundabout way, and it’s really only been in the last year that i realized that this is what i was living. and i will come out and say that i don’t even think my parents realized this was how they were treating me, that this was the kind of household they were building for me. and honestly, it was a way worse experience for me than it was or will be for my younger siblings (i hope).

the fact of the matter is, my biological mother was a drug addicted alcoholic, since the birth of my sister who is only two years younger than me. my mother was not a very good role model mother in really any way, and i really honestly wish i had more to offer than this basic, umbrella-like summary. but it’s so bad that i have almost no memory of what my mother was like, personally. i don’t remember her voice, her face, or any of that. she died of an overdose when i was eleven. It’s been nine years and, really, I have more memories that are worth my time remembering after the fact. i grew to hate my mother with my entire being, and her death wasn’t something i dealt with right.

even now, i haven’t dealt with it well, but i have let go of the anger that really held me back.

since that moment of my life, it seemed like an event that became who i was. i was the kid who’s mom died, i was friendless and depressed, and i acted like everything was fine, and i honestly still do. eventually, of course, things moved on --- my dad found another woman to love, who became the mother i wished i always had. of course, there was a lot of internal conflict as this happened, something that while i was never aware of it, happened no matter what i really believed. evidently, at the end of the day, losing your biological mother is something that really changes you, especially when she went by way of suicide.

my father remarried in 20...14? maybe? i really don’t remember --- my years and months really started running together in my mind, and honestly my memory has never been something to brag about when it comes to my own life. life seemed to be okay but really, there was a lot of conflict between my family and i. my father is a military man, and was heavily heavily abused as a child, and almost killed by his own mom. but he was an abusive father by way of mental and emotional abuse, especially once i entered high school. i was constantly compared to my mother, which i hated because she took her own life, and she was the worst role model of my life. my father had a habit of callling me useless, or telling me i would never amount to anything. in his mind, he was doing me a favor --- trying to make me realize i needed to change. but all he did was instill a hopelessness inside of me that he would never understand or admit to giving me or being part of. 

my self esteem tanked by the time i was a sophomore in school, and my grades began to really see a dip. i was spending less time on my schooling, because i was exploring hobbies that my father didn’t approve of, which meant i was spending more time hiding the things that made me happy than i was studying. school was becoming something i didn’t like as much as i once did --- it was getting so hard to find joy in anything, and i realize now that was the major & chronic depression that i would later be diagnosed with. but all i heard from my parents at that time was that i was sick in the head --- that i would turn out dead like my own mother, a drug addict and homeless and useless. and eventually, a thought hit --- why bother?

when i was in the summer year between my sophomore and junior year of high school, the summer of 2016, i made a plan to take my own life, because i felt like such a burden.

i was not the most aware of what would work --- and i was very against going through something painful --- so i found an amalgamation of every prescription and non-prescription drug in the house. which was quite a lot. and i would siphone pills through the day, slowly, so it was less noticeable.

when my family found them, they refused to believe that i was depressed and suicidal, instead choosing to believe i was selling pills at school, peddling fake drugs (considering there were pre-natals among my stash, which, admittedly, wouldn’t have done much). instead of ever offering and following through with counseling, they asked me one time when i was fourteen and never actually put me into a place. they make the excuse now that it would not have been beneficial if i didn’t want it, but i recall several times speaking to them about getting into counseling and nothing ever coming of it.

the next two years would be a total rollercoaster. at seventeen, a predator was contacting me and trying to get photos, my location, even so much as meeting up with me. my parents put me through hell for talking to the guy --- and now i realize that whether or not i was an older female, i was still under eighteen and being taken advantage of. my principal and secretary of the school got involved, and i became more suicidal than ever. i lost friends due to the state of mind i had.

luckily, i graduated high school and turned eighteen, and this seemed to be the end of my forseeable problems. i had been working through high school, and though my family had forced me to resign from the last workplace due to workplace drama and claiming my coworkers were bad influences, I was searching for jobs and hopeful for getting into college.

i was not the perfect child at home (i rebelled against chores like any kid, and when i worked, i was even less reliable for doing chores because i was never home to cause the mess but somehow it was always my job to clean it up when i had a sister two years younger who was FULLY capable, but thats just another story tbh), but professional help has also made me see that i was not deserving of the kind of punishments my father put me through, including being lectured at about how much of a failure child i was for over three hours almost per night during the summer. i did not experiment with drugs as a high school student, i never attempted to run away or sneak out, i had a few thief instances that never recurred the way my younger sister’s instances were monthly. 

in july, barely a month and a half after graduating and turning eighteen, my parents kicked me out. i had nowhere to go, no money to help me, and no amount of help from them. and yet, i managed to move into a place a few weeks after the news.

it was a huge mistake.

i had found someone on craigslist (BAD IDEA PAST ME) renting out a room in their home. they lived an hour from the nearest bus stop (an hour walking) but close to the downtown area. rent was about half of what i made in a month. and very quickly, there were problems. once i had the place found, i had no other options --- the few other places that were that cheap were no longer available, and my deadline was coming up. the place itself was pretty atrocious --- dirty and gross, BUT i was told it was being fixed over the next month and i thought if i could help out, no problems.  there were cats (i was allergic, though it did eventually seem to fall out from me living there) and even a bird that was loud and annoying. the cons really outweighed any pros, but it had taken a long time to find the place, and i was not sure i would make my deadline before my parents dropped me off at a shelter. plus, i was supposed to be going to school in the next few months for college, with loans and all, and it should have been fine!

just kidding.

i moved in, met the three other roommates, and began the downward spiral. i was almost immediately out of money --- rent was far too much, and i couldn’t buy groceries afterwards. my phone bill lapsed a few times, and i never was able to finish paying off the deposit. my routine became something terrible. i only ate once a day, while at work with my free meal. and on saturday and sunday, which i didn’t work, i only ate a little bit, if one of my friends happened to give me food out of pity, or else i didn’t eat anything. i started stocking up on CLIF bars, because i could eat one and sleep the rest of the day with little issues.

i slept on the floor of the room, miserable, in a panic. the landlord (who also lived in the living room of the place but worked) was horrible. he essentially demanded that i take care of him while he was home, and expected me to just do it because he hadn’t kicked me out yet for not having the deposit paid.

eventually, i had enough. one of the other roommates, his name was Josh, was getting tired of the same treatment. and my final straw was when i found out the landlord searched through my room without asking and while i wasn’t there. so he and i got together, started looking for a place closer to town, and gave him a verbal/written notice of moving out. 

however, this fell through, too. josh lost the money he had for the apartment two weeks before we were supposed to move, and so i had to scramble to find a place. i got lucky --- a really good friend of mine talked to her mom and they took me in when he couldn’t recover the money. i left josh with some of my things until i had a permanent place.

he stole half of all of my belongings, about five hundred dollars worth of miscallaneous stuff.

josh disappeared off the face of the planet, after faking his own death to me via his ex. it got wild, and i almost (and should have) took it to the police to get my things. but because his whereabouts are really unknown to me, it was going to be a way more expensive process than i was into. 

around that same time, my financial aid for school fell through due to some change, and without any cosigner for a loan, i had no option but to drop out -- and still got footed for a bill of $1700. for school i couldn’t and never did attend. 

the following year of this was not that bad --- my friend’s mom moved out of the house and left it to us. it was a really nice, three bed and two baths with a nice kitchen. they bought me a bed and bed frame, as i had previously been sleeping on the couch, without a mattress of any kind (Josh stole it). i was so grateful.

but after a year, too, she had gotten a boyfriend and they were talking about moving to nashville for his job (they’re there now, congrats to them!) and her mom was going to sell the house.

at this point, my family was in some contact with me again --- my mother and i had less issues than i had with my father, and she found out the situation and offered me to come back home. they were having issues with my younger sister, and i think they hoped my newfound independence could rub off. they would charge me no rent.

I agreed, a huge mistake. I know this now --- but at the time, I wanted their approval and wanted nothing more than to live with my family without problems, which is what was promised to me. They acknowledged I was an adult. This was a lie.

once back home, things were supposed to get better. or be better, rather. but it was immediate to me that it was not true --- once again, all of my decisions were being scrutinized by my family. i would work most of the day, and if i didn’t come home and socialize, i was getting long talks about being part of the “family.” i tried to accomodate all of this, and still it was not enough. if i was spending my money on anything they didn’t approve of, i was getting lectured about it. from the months of august 2018 until the end of january 2019, i was miserable, and depressed, and wanted nothing more than to die.

at the end of december, right before christmas, i finally found a counselor. my family had made it a must for me --- if i wanted to continue living there, i had to go to counseling. so i found a place and someone i began to trust. not long after, i started realizing just how bad i felt in life at home, and my counselor (agreeing for the first and last time with my family) mentioned an in-patient therapy place.

SO, in January, I went to an in-patient hospital for three weeks to undergo constant watch, and this would change my life.

the most recent big event in my life had been me breaking up with my girlfriend. some of you may know of her already, known as ruby, pretty prominent in the youtube rp fandom. she was abusive. not only to me but to others, and though i was warned, i dated her, fell in love with her, and she proceeded to make me feel bad for everything i wanted to do or did. so in the months between november and january, i was being put down by not only my family, who were still calling me useless, worthless, ignorant, and made to be my mother, my girlfriend was also making me feel bad for talking to other people, for spending time playing games and having hobbies that didn’t involve her. 

when i went to this hospital, i was under watch 24/7 for three weeks. they took my vitals, watched my every move. and i was supposed to be on track for finding my weaknesses.

This experience was vital for me --- but it also broke me down.

i was suddenly feeling every emotion i ever hid from myself. i felt myself break down and instead of hiding behind the solid walls i used to have, i had nothing to defend myself with. every thought about the family that seemed to tear me down, tore me down all over again. every thought about how my exgirlfriend saw ME as abusive or neglectful for not being awake at midnight to greet her from work had me in tears and believing no one would ever love me. it felt like someone ripped out my heart and threw it down to let everyone who ever wanted to trample it, do so without a fight.

it took three weeks to come back, and i was a broken woman. i had a better knowledge about myself, how my emotions worked and what i needed to do, but i was raw to the world, and my father supposedly understood. but it was clear to me, within the next week, that this was wrong. he wasted no time continuing to tell me that i wasn’t trying hard enough, that i wasn’t putting any effort into my life. that i was content to lay around and was worthless and just like my mother. 

so i left. i called someone i met while i was away, and he helped me move out that day. but my panic was non-stop. i couldn’t work the way i used to --- panic attacks were happening more often, and i was calling out more because of it. i ended up quitting out of fear of being fired, because i couldn’t get up every day anymore and go to work the way i used to.

eventually i moved again --- i found a guy i got along with really well, liked a lot. his family was very generous --- but they eventually kicked me out too. and now, i’m living with an old friend of mine, her family like my second family. but i changed --- i have a whole slew of medicines i’m supposed to take daily in order to function without panic in my daily life. debt’s come back around, and work has become harder to find. i’ve recognized that i have a disability, in the form of major and chronic depression, bipolar, and ptsd from my mother’s death and further abuse. i don’t get job responses the way i once did, and there are days where i stay in bed (on the couch where i live now) all day, panicking about the fact that i’m considered homeless, that i have no job, that i’m losing insurance soon and college is slowly slipping through my fingers. applying for disability guarantees me nothing, and marking myself as disabled, when compared to last year when i didn’t, has resulted in less interest in my resume, whch is great

i’m trying for commissions for art or writing. i’m trying to write a novel to maybe make something of myself. but i don’t know what to do. 

so. if you’ve ever wondered why i don’t stick around all day like i used to, if you ever wonder why you haven’t heard from me in a week or longer, there’s why. 

[yoshi4sushi]

(purupurupuru) (purupurupuru) (gocha!) (coo!) (coo!)

 Happy Jolly Monday, minna-san! I hope everyone had a good weekend. The weather is getting chillier so stay warm, drink plenty of warm fluids, and stay healthy. The flu is getting around lately. Stay in top shape. With that said, let’s get on with this week’s news. We have loads of stuff to share with you so you know the drill. First off, last week’s chapter is filled with new mysterious characters. We start off w/ Ussop, Franky, & Robin enjoying Sanji’s soba. It’s been a while since they had his cooking, and many customers are lined up. Just as everyone is eager to eat his delish soba, three goons from Kyoshiro’s clan name Kaku, Kuni, & Suke showed up to shut down Sanji’s soba stand. They tell Sanji that he’s gotta pay up if he wants to keep his shop safe from hooligans, but he refused. A little girl was about to enjoy her soba until Suke knock it off from her hands and cried. They then knocked over his soba stand. Seeing this enraged Sanji. The customers then ran off. The handsome cooked demand they eat the soba from the floor, but refused to do it. That answer was wroooonnng! So Sanji knocked that cahoots out of Kuni. Franky then took care of Suke with a new technique he learned from Senor Pink: Iron Suplex. Nice one, dude. Some spectators were shocked to see the guys defeat the jerks. The little girl whose soba got spilled came back with a smile hoping to eat the soba was excited to have. She approached and Sanji was able to give her some leftover. She tells the gang that she was late for work, but waited all day in line to eat the tasty soba. Her face glowed with excitement. So the girl’s name is Toko, but if says if you add O in front of her name, her whole is O-toko which means man in Japanese. The gang laughed at her name, and Toko laugh along telling them that her name is means “man”, but she is a girl. Ha ha ha ha ha! What a cutie!, She then finished eating and was about to leave saying that she’ll be back in the same streets since her job is an escort for a famous courtesan, and that many beautiful women will come by. At the end, the old lady that trained Robin to be a geisha came looking for her saying that she has been summoned to be at the shogun’s palace and that a famous geisha name Komurasaki will be presented at the castle as she is the no.1 famous geisha in all of Wano kingdom. The boy got excited to hear such rumor. So the parade begins as Komurasaki passes by with many praised coming from everywhere and Toko made just in time, and it seems she is the younger sister of the famous geisha. Back at Kyoshiro’s hideout, his goons informed him of Sanji’s rebel, and ordered to send out assassins to kill him. Suddenly, a shadow nine dragon figure appears from behind that happens to be the infamous Lord Orochi. Who is this mysterious villain that everyone speaks of? What is the role of this famous geisha? Is she a friend? Or a foe? GAH! So many questions! No chapter this week so it’s another two week break so be patient. Next, this past weekend’s episode is turning chaotic. Luffy continues to struggle to land a hit on Katakuri, but is trying to stay clam so he can also see his attacks coming. Back at the sea, Big Mom shows up in flames and in rage demanding for the wedding cake that the gang is hiding. She starts tearing apart Sunny as Jinbei jumps to defend. He tell her that that cake is not with them, but ignores his truth saying that he believes Perospero’s words. She says she would kill him if he lied, but believed in him. She starts attacking. Jinbei was suddenly knocked off from the ship. Nami and the others try their best to fend off Big Mom, but she was continuing tearing the ship. Just as things were getting worse, Jinbei shows up again and knocked her off from the ship, and Nami lay the finishing blow with her lighting attack. At the end, Luffy continues his struggle with the fight as Katakuri is attacking one step ahead. Next time, Luffy tries his best to see Katakuri’s attack with the wise words and training he learned from Rayleigh as his help and the rotten young sister, Flampe, makes her appearance. Don’t miss it! Now on with the goods! First off, figurines! figurines! Loads of it. Jump Fest is getting near, and Megahouse will be displaying 4 new POP figurines at the event. Next year, they’ll release this awesome POP Maximum of Luffy in gear 4th Snakeman mode, limited ed. of Hina, Maximum figurine of Zoro 3 thousand world attack, and bikini figurine of Nami with a beer. Next, new Glitter & Glamour brand will be guys. The new brand name for it will be Glitter & Brave. Tuesday, all arcades will stock the first Glitter & Brave figurine of Sanji with his cape, and one w/out it. Next, in February, new Gashapon mini figurines will be released. This time, they’ll have Carrot, Shanks, Marco, Ace, Ussop, & Luffy in gear 4th. Cute little ones. Next, this month, more new stuff will be in stock. More new goods of Mugi Collection. They’ll have new key chain straps of Luffy, Brook, Nami, Sanji, & Chopper. They’ll also have this thermal bottle of Luffy. Don’t forget they’ll also sell Luffy’s tea can set that comes with a cute small tote bag, and small plates as well. Next, Bandai will be selling this new awesome red, silk yukata shirt that has the jolly rogers symbol of Luffy on the back with rest of the gang. It will be available for sale at Jump Fest as well. Online order is a possibility, but unsure. No worries, we will ask at the event and get back to you on it. Next, guess whose birthday is approaching next month? Yup! You all know him. He’s the hottest pirate with a feisty, but well-manner attitude. Give it up for Ace! YAY! YAY! The stores will be selling his birthday button, and his acrylic figurine. If you spend over 1000 yen, you’ll get his free mini poster. Now that’s hot! Tower will announce bday goods of him soon. Next, NEW YAKARA BUTTONS! YOLO! The theme this time is UTAGE which means celebration, and it’s all guys! They’ll have Luffy and his boys. New characters include Pedro, Buggy, Shanks, Coby & Helmeppo, Kinemon, Thatch, and many others. It will be released on Dec.22nd at all stores including the tower. Jump Fest will also have it available at TOEI shop. Next, in February, they’ll sell this awesome t-shirt and plate of Katakuri with the word Merienda on it. GUA! So cute! Next, here are the loads of JUMP goods of OP they’ll have at the event. They’ll have a Zou artboard, two big button set of Luffy & Law, a colorful limited ed. t-shirt of Luffy in kimono, folder, pencil board, postcard set, memo block, notebook of vol.91, pack of sticker flakes, a Wano pen of Luffy & Zoro, a package set of ASL bros goods that comes with a folder set, postcard set, button set, a sticker, and a mini tote bag, PVC strap holders of Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, & Ace, a red marche tote bag, Whole Cake Island diagram map set, limited ed. button set of the ASL bros, and key chain set of Luffy & Zoro that will come with an extra limited ed. key chain only available at the event. Also, Bandai stand will be giving away free spicy cheese puff snack that comes with surprised face of Eneru and the ASL bros. HA HA HA HA! Such unusual reaction from Ace & Sabo. Last, but not least, OP game app, Thousand Storm, will have a short campaign where you can now use Capt. Kuro & Jango as playable characters. Just earn enough points and you’ll get them for free. Also, the other game app, Treasure Cruise, is having a short campaign to celebrate the 100 million downloads from everyone. Oda-sensei was kind enough to draw Luffy to give thanks to all the fans. They’ll have short campaigns where you can earn loads of free points, get more free characters, and much more. Phew! I think we covered everything. Also, we like to remind that the crew and I will attend Jump Fest, but we won’t be able to stay for the Super Stage to see the Straw Hat voice actors as we have a flight to catch in the evening. Not to worry, our secret undercover nakama, Kinmaro, will be on the lookout for it. New Year is approaching and many surprises will be announced at the event. We’re done. Tune in next week for more news and a goods. Job well done, boys. Let’s call it a night. Also, check out the official YOUTUBE channel of OP. Oda-sensei drew an awesome head banner for it. Nighty-night!

[strugglingaesthetic-blog]

Many Such Pharmacies Are

Other critics point out that the popularity of universal life insurance in the individual marketplace decreased as interest rates have dropped over the last few years. 250 depending on the insurance carrier. Better than the wire traps. Traps aren’t working, I’m gonna try the moth balls and peppermint oil……i live in a 46 yr. I have put cotton balls soaked with peppermint oil, wrapped in wire under my door and they are the cotton balls! At the end of each week, check how you made out with your fitness program and if you find you did not miss a day, reward yourself with a sticker or two and put them on a calendar. It’s working well. I put the bait behind couches, entertainment center,closets , garage,attic dressers every place they went even our beds. Nevertheless, plans that are installed are usually well received by employees, and participation generally meets or exceeds expectations. Like the managed care spectrum analysis, using a functional approach to evaluating health plans provides a way to compare plan sponsor needs and objectives across the spectrum of health plan alternatives. In this specific situation, a splint or other device is used as temporary first aid treatment, may be applied by non-licensed personnel using common materials at hand, and often does not reflect the severity of the injury. My feelings about the word used does not in the least affect my feelings toward the medical person using it since I do understand his/her concerns. Members share medical costs based on our community guidelines. The results become more significant over longer periods. We can provide seniors who can no longer drive with the independence and mobility that comes with affordable and accessible transit options. Employees who are required for jury duty or to attend a trial in response to a subpoena will do so without loss of income. Here are some of the online extortion scams to look out for. We sometimes think we will develop all kinds of muscles but actually we will just look more fit. The more difficult problem raised by the shift to calendar days occurs in the case of the injury or illness that results on the day just before a weekend or some other prescheduled time off. I was on 2mg xanax 3 times a day for about 3 years. The ACA changed the formulas that Medicare uses to pay providers and it will be increasing reimbursement for primary care. Microbeads are tiny plastic particles found in several personal care products such as toothpaste and cosmetic products. ]he final rule relies exclusively on the diagnosis of a limited class of injuries and illnesses by a physician or other licensed health care professional. The internationally known Asa Wright Nature Center near Arima provides overnight facilities for amateur and professional naturalists. The other issue the Supreme Court will decide is how the Americans with Disabilities Act will be covered when the police come in contact with people with disabilities. Congress gave the FDA some oversight power in 1997 over compounding pharmacies, but several of the firms challenged the law in court. They include Magistrates Courts, Supreme Court and Court of Appeal. Bing will automatically adopt Google's changes. Visitors will notice an almost complete absence of all major American, canadian pharmacy online British UK or Canadian or other-country department and smaller regular stores and supermarkets. 103/100. Insurers have certain insulins they will pay for at a lower copay because they have negotiated discounts with the pharmaceutical companies. It means the blood sugar has dropped to lower than 70mg/ml. That means hypoglycemia is coming to town. I haven’t seen any rats yet but their dung and urine are everywhere. The rats have been there several months. 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[mirabeltechnologies]

HOW TO START A MAGAZINE IN 2021

Table of Contents

Planning a Magazine

Launching Your First Issue

Marketing a Magazine

Conclusion

i. Choose a Niche

ii. Create a Business Plan

iii. Hire Your Staff

iv. Make Use of All Platforms

i. Rounding up content and creating a mock-up

ii. Tools to create your issue

iii. Post-Launch

i. Create a Brand

ii. Diversify

iii. Develop Quality Content

iv. Use your channels — all of them!

1. Planning a Magazine

We’ve come a long way since the very first American publication in 1741. Who knows if Benjamin Franklin and his chronicling competitors had any idea that their budding industry would blossom into something that, just last year, had an annual global revenue of approximately $67.56 billion?

Thanks to both their centuries-long resilience and progressive nature to adapt, magazines continue to be a worthwhile project to embark on.

If you’re looking to start a magazine or pivot to digital editions, read on. We’re outlining the basic steps of how to start a magazine in 2021.

i. Choose a Niche

The first step to starting your magazine is, of course, to choose a concept. What exactly do you want to write about in your publication?

Will it handle a general topic, like business or politics?

Do you want to get down to the nitty gritty of gardening or interior design?

Be sure to choose a concept that you will be able to generate ideas around.

Magazines have been around for centuries, so chances are that there’s already a plethora of publications on your chosen topic. How would you tackle the topic differently? Or present it in a unique, fresh way?

It’s not as simple as just choosing a topic, however; you should also consider who your primary audience would be.

What type of readers are you targeting?

What’s the demographic profile? Think in terms of age, interests, education level, family dynamics, and so on.

Pro Tip: “It’s … important that your audience has a ‘continuing need’ for your content, so they’ll want to subscribe and read more. Think about your audience’s lifestyle and cater to the issues and ideas they care about.”

Knowing your audience will help to keep you established and focused in the niche you’re pursuing. Because just as Michael Keaton’s Ray Kroc discovered in The Founder — when the McDonald’s businessman learned he wasn’t in the hamburger business, but rather the real-estate business — it’s essential to remain true to the business of The Niche even as people can’t keep their hands off the publication.

Beyond your concept, other factors to consider are:

The title. Your audience’s first impression of your publication comes from its title. Make sure it’s concise, catchy, relevant, and distinguishable. Your magazine should stand out from others in your topic.

The tone and message. Though all writers and editors bring something different to the table, the overall tone of the magazine should be consistent and relevant to your topic. For example, an upbeat tone is fine for an entertainment magazine; pulling off that tone for a political publication would take considerably more skill and effort.

The stylistic elements. Generally, you want the font type, size, and color to be uniform across all of your editions. Like branding in marketing, you have to develop a style for your magazine.

The initial stages of developing your concept will involve lots of research. However, it ensures that you’re organized and have a clear vision as you develop your publication.

ii. Create a Business Plan

Think of your up-and-coming magazine as a company. It’s not just a publication. It’s a brand, a business. As with any venture, you need to devise a solid plan.

Using your concept research, build a business plan that addresses the logistics of starting a magazine. Priority considerations include:

How will you fund your first issue? Some aspiring publishers have money saved up while others look to crowdfund or use investors. (As you grow, you may be able to rely on advertisements to finance issues. Until then, it’ll likely be difficult to get advertisers until your publication is more established.)

How will you distribute your magazine? If it’s a print publication, how will you print it? If it’s digital, where would it be available to read or to download?

Would you rent or buy office space, or would staff work from home? Think about the added costs of office supplies, insurance, energy and Internet bills, and more.

Where will your magazine be distributed, regionally or nationally? Magazine start-up costs range from $100,000 to $1 million, depending on geographic circulation.

Speaking of, will your magazine be a free or paid circulation? If it’s free, who’s the most relevant audience to distribute to? If it’s paid, how much will you charge subscribers? (Most publications make revenue from subscriptions, advertisements, or a combination of the two.)

What type of advertisements would you plan to include? If you choose to have ads, ensure they’re relevant to your audience.

Pro Tip: If you will be relying on ads for revenue, you will want ads to cover at least 50% of your publication, and closer to 60-65% if you’re relying solely on ad revenue.

Do you intend to make a profit from your magazine? Is this venture not-for-profit? Pro Tip: If you’re trying to increase revenue, keep printing and distribution costs below 50% of your total budget.

What are your basic editorial topics? Most first-time publications plan a content calendar at least a year in advance. In addition to providing solid footing for the editors, this also allows publishers to give advertisers a better sense of the magazine’s scope and direction.

iii. Hire Your Staff

In every feature film involving magazines (and newspapers), it’s all about the staff. Your team members take ideas and mold them into stories. They give a voice and visual to each individual page and to the larger brand.

Because they’re so important, don’t skimp out on hiring a dream team of editorial all-stars to get your magazine off the ground. Though you may not yet have the budget to hire a full staff, you’ll at least want these essential members in your corner, laying the foundation:

Editor-in-Chief: To oversee all aspects of the editorial process.

Managing Editor: To assign stories and edit text

Copy Editor: To fact-check and edit for grammar

Staff Writer: To write articles, website content, etc.

Production Manager: To keep track of ads and handle bookkeeping

Salesperson: To sell advertisement space in your magazine

Creative Director: To design the publication style and more prominent features

Graphic Artist / Designer: To design department layouts and graphics

Photographer: To take high-quality pictures

Digital Content Editor: To create complementary editorial content for website and across all online channels

Other positions to consider down the line (or on a freelance basis):

Proofreader: for reviewing the text in each issue

Photo Editor: for scouring stock-image sites and other photo research

Associate Editors: for assigning and editing text in specific departments

Advertiser Account Managers: for handling accounts as they come in

Editorial Assistants: for helping with assorted editorial logistics

An editor’s salary can run between $40,000 and $120,000 per year, depending on factors such as experience, location, etc. When hiring a top-notch editor, focus on finding a candidate with impeccable writing skills, an eye for detail, and a knack for deadlines and organization. Have them include writing samples or a sample assignment to ensure their skills are near perfect. Tone can be taught, but basic grammar, spelling, and punctuation are necessary from the get-go.

As for a salesperson, costs fall between $30,000 to $40,000 annually for a base salary, plus at least 10% commission. Hiring a dependable salesperson is a little trickier than an editor. As with an editor, you want someone with basic skills. Great salespeople hone “soft” skills like communication, customer service, and interpersonality.

Ideally you want someone who also has experience selling similar products. However, product knowledge can be taught, so lower that priority. As a general business rule of thumb, hire a salesperson that you can genuinely sit down and have a conversation with. If they’re personable, chances are they’ll do great in the field.

A production manager’s annual salary can range from $30,000 to $60,000, depending on their experience level. If you’re financially savvy and the rest of your staff is willing to take on whatever tasks are thrown their way those first few months, you may be able to get by without a production manager initially. As revenue and ad sales grow, however, you should definitely look into hiring one.

If you’re looking to save money, outsource your writing, design, and photography needs by hiring freelancers.

Costs for freelancers differ based on industry and experience:

Freelance writers might accept as little as $0.50 per word if they can appreciate the topic or the potential of the magazine itself. Whether you assign per-word or per-project, be sure to communicate word-count expectations clearly.

Graphic designers vary from $25 to $300 per hour. This is worth a little extra, because a great eye for color and layout is hard to come by. They can even help first-time publishers develop a new brand.

Photographers range from $25 to $250 per image. Equally as important as copy, photography is a necessary expense for magazines.

Luckily, it’s the 21st century, and freelancers are everywhere. Any decent editor will have a stable of reliable writers at the ready, but you can fit your needs and budget with this quick list of resources available for your editorial needs:

Upwork (www.upwork.com): One of the most popular freelancing sites, Upwork provides opportunities in over 70 different job categories. Millions of freelancers offer over 5,000 skills for 4 million businesses, making this site a great option for publications looking to hire for multiple positions from one platform.

Behance (www.behance.net): Behance is a platform by Adobe specifically intended for designers to showcase their work. It allows publications to explore candidates around the world. The best part is that the platform is entirely free, which is ideal for those looking to cut costs.

PeoplePerHour (www.peopleperhour.com): Smaller freelancing platform PeoplePerHour requires users to send a proposal to companies. This is beneficial for first-time publishers who don’t have the time to sift through resumes of prospective employees.

YunoJuno: YunoJuno is a great platform, especially if you’re searching exclusively for designers. They seek to attract top-tier graphic artists, so if magazine design is one of your priorities, look into this amazing freelance space.

Freelancer: Freelancer is the largest freelancing website out there. It boasts nearly 20 million freelancers and employers. Their matching process consists of a bidding system and allows employers to view past projects and portfolios before hiring someone.

Other websites to hire specialty team members include Fiverr, WriterAccess, and Guru (which also includes translation services if you’re producing a multilingual magazine).

Pro Tip: Though not directly part of your editorial team, you also need to find a reliable printer during the hiring stage. Ultimately, a Creative Director or Production Manager will manage the issue-to-issue operations.

If you’re distributing your publications, look for a printer who also distributes. This will save you the time and money of hiring two separate companies.

When your magazine is more established, you should look into hiring a digital marketer. They’ll promote your publication and manage your social media channels.

iv. Make Use of All Platforms

One of the most important considerations for starting a magazine in 2021 is making use of all possible platforms, particularly in the interest of marketing. This means taking advantage of all channels to post and promote your magazine and engage with your readers.

One way to promote is to send out an email newsletter to your subscribers. Give them industry updates, the latest editions, sneak peaks of articles, and more. By providing digital content for them to read, you keep them engaged with your magazine.

Posting digital content has the potential to become an additional stream of revenue — if you require online subscribers to pay a fee. However, this gates your content and prevents readers from sharing it, which hurts engagement and readership. Initially, it’s recommended that you provide online content at no charge and leverage advertisements to generate revenue. Some digital magazines ask for subscriptions in exchange for articles. See this example from The Guardian:

If you see growth from your magazine, your content is likely valuable enough that people would be willing to pay for it. Consider introducing a fee or capping your content off at a certain number of articles. This is called a journalism paywall, as evidenced by Vanity Fair:

Use social media to further enrich your brand. You can do this by providing food for thought for your readers, asking questions to get them engaged, or creating videos to support your written content.

Podcasts have become increasingly popular over the past few years. Creating a podcast for your magazine in which you explore related, relevant topics could engage your audience and even help you reach new readers. Including ads in your podcasts is another potential source of revenue, and you can also reuse podcast clips as social media content.

The most traditional method of promoting your publication is to distribute it strategically. Even in today’s digital world, this remains essential. In addition to your subscribed readers, be sure to send a sample of your publication to potential and existing advertisers. If your publication is free, send your magazine to relevant readers in the industry. For example, if you run a business magazine, it might be a good idea to send it to prominent professional figures, local businesses, networking events, and more.

Businesses with waiting rooms, like doctors’ offices, and colleges and universities are also great places to distribute your publication.

You can build your circulation and subscriber lists through more traditional methods, such as cold calling, street team promotion, or direct mail.

All of these tactics will bring awareness — and thus, subscribers — to your new magazine.

2. Launching Your First Issue

So, you’ve ironed out most of the initial kinks and are ready to create content for your magazine. You want your first issue to be palatable, welcoming enough to draw in a readership … but with all of the magazines that exist, your launch must also stand out.

Creating content is not a linear process, so reading a step-by-step guide will not be helpful. It may even distort your creative process. But the basics are hard to argue with.

Stay up to date not just with other publications that cover your topic, but with specific keywords and conversations being had across all social media. And participate and be active in those niche sectors so you can get a better sense of where people’s interests are currently and where they might be headed. Along with active listening on your topic, make sure to get feedback on your efforts as well.

Here are some additional suggestions to keep in mind:

Your topic should be specific enough to pique interest, but broad enough to generate article ideas around.

Consider topics that are generating conversation among your audience, and position your issue as part of that conversation.

Make sure your topic is relevant to both your audience and the overall concept of your publication.

As mentioned earlier, it is recommended that you plan out your editorial content at least one year in advance. You can always adjust editions to reflect relevant events and trends, but planning out your content all at once will save you lots of time down the road.

i. Rounding up content and creating a mock-up

Once you’ve chosen your topic, you’ll need to create a mock-up of your issue.

While your content doesn’t have to be finalized in this stage, it is important to have a general idea of what your issue will contain.

Plan to include a variety of content. Aim for a good mix of articles, interviews, and opinion pieces. Above all, make sure your content is helpful to readers by providing actionable information.

Article, design, and photography assignments should be given well before the mock-up is finished. This will ensure that you will receive all of your content in time for your launch.

Though you may want to keep your costs as low as possible, do not cut corners on content acquisition. High-quality content is well worth the investment.

If you outsource your content, it would be a good idea to create a style guide. This will ensure that your content is consistent, even if your creators are not.

Pro Tip: “A copy editor will take your magazine from good to high-quality … This person provides a fresh, outside set of eyes to go over what you’re creating, and offers insights you would likely miss … Copy editors police your use of grammar, spelling, and punctuation [and] ensure a consistent writing style for your magazine.”

The tasks of writing the articles and curating the images would likely be left to your staff. However, as the founder, you should work hand-in-hand with your designer(s) to create a mock-up that fits your vision. From title treatment and cover concept to the layout of articles and ads, this mock-up will serve as the blueprint for your issue. As you receive finalized content, your graphic designer will stylize it and replace the fillers.

Mock-ups should also be included in your media kit, a package of information and content with which you pitch your magazine to advertisers. A well designed mock-up will make your pitch that much easier to sell.

Pro Tip: To visualize your issue without finalized content, use Lorem ipsum text (aka greeking) to fill in empty text boxes and images from the internet as placeholders.

ii. Tools to create your issue

Of course you can’t create your issue, or even the mock-up, without the right tools. Luckily, there are tons to choose from. Here are a few suggestions:

InDesign

InDesign is an offering from Adobe’s Creative Cloud (www.adobe.com/creativecloud) that allows graphic designers to create posters, brochures, magazines, and even interactive eBooks.

Pros:

Highly intuitive, user-friendly software

Media is easily exported in a variety of formats

Access to Photoshop tools and effects for images

Cons:

Does not lend itself well to more detailed de

signs

Text spacing requires manipulation, as it is known to look uneven at times

One of the pricier options on this list

Price: Adobe offers a 7-day free trial of InDesign. Otherwise, it is available as part of a subscription to Adobe Creative Cloud. It will cost either $20.99 for the single app or $52.99 for the entire design suite.

DigitalStudio

DigitalStudio is a flat-planning and pagination software by Mirabel Technologies (www.mirabeltechnologies.com), created specifically for magazine publishers.

Pros:

Allows users to accommodate ad units and paginate as live inventory changes

Interactive software designed for team collaboration

Includes free publishing to Mirabel’s Magazine Central, a digital magazine stand

Cons:

Designed exclusively for magazines

Included only as part of a Magazine Manager (www.magazinemanager.com) subscription to its magazine publishing CRM software

Price: A subscription to the magazine management software costs $65/month/user with an additional $250 initial setup fee, and includes DigitalStudio, access to a powerful publishing CRM (with full publishing ERP software capabilities), electronic invoicing to bill advertisers, and top-tier support services.

Considering the large scope, it’s the software magazine designers, production staffers, and sales teams alike can utilize together.

Microsoft Publisher

Microsoft Publisher is a design program that comes exclusively with a Microsoft 365 (www.microsoft.com/microsoft-365) subscription. If you use Microsoft, as most businesses do, this might be a great option for you.

Pros:

User-friendly interface, drag-and-drop capabilities

Tons of templates to choose from

Guidelines to ensure that your content is perfectly aligned

Cons:

Only available through Microsoft subscription

Only available for PC

Not compatible with other programs, such as Adobe

Price: Microsoft offers a 1 month free trial of Publisher, through its trial of Microsoft 365.

The annual subscription starts at $12.50/user/month, and includes all of the Microsoft 365 products, along with their secure cloud services.

iii. Post-Launch

The next step is, of course, distributing your publication. In addition to the distribution suggestions earlier, you can build your circulation and subscriber lists through traditional methods, such as cold calling, street team promotion, or direct mail.

Eventually, consider a magazine subscription software, such as Mirabel Technologies’ ChargeBrite platform, to help manage magazine subscription data and recurring revenue.

Pro Tip: Make sure your digital content is shareable. “Content behind a paywall (or, worse, locked in a PDF or app) is not shareable … The goal of all of these channels is to keep readers engaged between issues, enable them to share your content, and ultimately drive them to your website and into your sales funnel.”

Obviously, your work is not finished after you distribute your publication. After distribution, you should follow up with your readership. You can do this by sending a postcard or email asking for feedback.

One of your primary objectives is to satisfy your readers, so their feedback is essential as you move forward with your publication.

Following up is especially important after your first issue.

Keep track of the things your subscribers enjoyed. Those elements should remain consistent across your editions. If they enjoyed a specific promotion, consider repeating it in a later edition.

On the same note, keep track of the things that your readers were critical of. These will be the things you should focus on fine-tuning as your publication progresses.

3. Marketing a Magazine

i. Create a Brand

You need a consistent, effective marketing strategy to draw in new readers and keep existing subscribers engaged. When marketing a new magazine — or product of any kind — it’s important to create a brand.

Let’s circle back to the beginning, and the very first steps we discussed in starting your publication: specifically, establishing a niche or concept that it centers around. It considers a market with a continuous interest in or need for your content, as well as:

Title

Topic

Audience

Messaging

Stylistic elements

As Small Business Chron put it:

“Don’t just sell your content. Sell the benefits of reading your magazine. The more you create a niche for your magazine, or develop a specialized image or brand, the more likely you can generate an affinity for your publication with specific consumers.”

It’s not enough to generate great copy and design striking visuals. A brand is the element that keeps readers coming in and coming back.

ii. Diversify

Another key strategy to get readers interested in your publication is to diversify your content. Consider adding a product or service to complement your publication.

This could be as simple as creating long-form content, such as books, guides, or whitepapers, on topics that might interest your audience.

It can be as complex as organizing community events or workshops that relate to your niche.

For instance, the popular lifestyle magazine Kinfolk (www.kinfolk.com) hosts “global gatherings held in over 25 locations worldwide” to celebrate their magazine launches. At these events, they focus on forming genuine connections with their readers.

This is just one example of the way that a magazine can diversify by hosting events.

A restaurant/food and drink magazine might consider organizing a cooking or bartending class that their readers can attend for a small fee.

A fitness magazine may hold a marathon and donate the proceeds to an athletic-minded charity. This diversifies their brand and positions the magazine positively in front of their audience.

Content diversification can be adapted to a digital format, as well. A podcast that touches on topics relevant to your magazine is another way to supplement its content. It could potentially create an additional revenue stream, too, if you decide to include ads.

Diversification can also mean giving readers a variety of subscription types to choose from.

“The digital era is all about options,” according to Mag+. “Why not give your readers a range of subscription choices from a single issue to multi-year subscriptions?”

No matter how you choose to provide additional value to your subscribers, it makes all the difference in marketing a magazine.

iii. Develop Quality Content

Without quality content, the readers you attract will not be retained.

You need to ensure that you’re strategizing and developing high-quality content in every issue.

With thousands of publications in the U.S. alone, it’s likely that many of them touch on the same or similar topics as yours.

In order to differentiate yourself, or carve out a space amongst similar big-name publications, your content must set the new standard.

Take in from What’s New in Publishing:

“The content should be more than thinly disguised advertising. It offers compelling, valuable content focused on the brand’s customers, not purely — or overly — aimed at selling.”

You want your content to organically generate new subscribers. It’s a slow long-term strategy, but it’s worthwhile because the quality of subscribers is better.

So, what does quality content look like?

Quality content offers readers more than words on a screen or a piece of paper. It connects with readers and gives them content that’s actionable or, at the very least, thought-provoking.

This is no easy feat.

It can be hard to find content that people will read, much less connect with.

To figure out which content is best for your readers, a great strategy is to analyze successful existing content. Which pieces are they engaging with most? Where are they sharing it online?

The State of Digital Publishing makes a case:

“Data analyzing is the key to increasing promoting efforts. The better you know your audience, the easier it will be to keep them and reach new ones. Investigate what content your users read most often, what is most often shared, and what social networks your readers are most active on.”

Another good strategy is to ask your readers what content they’re interested in seeing from you. Put a pop-up on your website, send a reader’s poll through email, or reach out with a survey.

iv. Use your channels — all of them!

Don’t limit the ways that your subscribers can enjoy your content.

Use all possible mediums to your advantage:

Print magazines

Digital editions

Video (interviews, behind-the-scenes, sneak peeks)

Social media polls and links to articles

Podcast interviews

Relevant events and/or awards

The importance of diversifying your content and platforms go hand in hand. For example, a podcast is one way you may choose to use audio content to your advantage.

If your magazine is primarily a print publication, consider providing a digital edition to reach a wider audience or vice versa.

Pro Tip: If you decide to host digital content, strategize whether this content will be freely available or reserved for subscribers. A mixture of both is ideal, because a variety of options ensures that you’re reaching as many people as possible.

Try to provide content that’s accessible to the general public, and reserve exclusive content for subscribers. Using this technique, new visitors/potential subscribers get a few sample articles before committing to a paid subscription. Many digital magazines ask users to provide an email address to view all your digital content. This is a great way to build an email list, which can also be used to engage with subscribers.

Beyond digital and print versions of your publication, it’s a good idea to supplement your content through social media. Content on social media is easily shareable, making it an ideal place to reach new readers.

There’s a variety of content to post on social media, including:

“Fragments of the best content which hasn’t been published yet and which will spark the discussions under a social media post,

Videos or photos from behind the scenes of an interview, unpublished or additional material

A discount offer for social media users (in exchange for sharing the content/a post) or newsletter readers (in exchange for signing in).”

You can also use your social media to promote upcoming issues. Per the State of Digital Publishing (www.stateofdigitalpublishing.com):

“Before film producers release a new project, they present a movie trailer. The goal is clear – encourage people to go to the cinemas, buy tickets, and watch the film. My tip for you is to be like a movie producer.”

Social media may also be a place to further promote your brand itself. Twitter and Instagram, for example, are great places to showcase the personality behind your publication.

Similarly, LinkedIn (www.linkedin.com) is a great platform to showcase your brand professionally. LinkedIn “drives more than 64% of social traffic to B2B sites and is considered the most credible source of content.”

When sharing content to LinkedIn, keep in mind that it’s more likely to be clicked if it includes an image. Also, consider posting video content, as it’s the most commonly shared on the platform.

As we mentioned above, you may choose to require users’ to provide an email address in order to view your digital content.

This is because an email newsletter is another great way to keep subscribers engaged. Use it to share updates, as well as new or relevant content based on a user’s past interactions with your articles.

You can send them more of your free content, and perhaps include an exclusive article or two to entice them to subscribe. Ultimately, marketing CRM software can help not only create this engaging content, but automate how it gets to your audience effectively as well.

It may take time to garner a large audience, but it’s a numbers game. The more variety you afford readers to view your content, the better your chances are.

Conclusion

It takes the strength of multiple tactics to effectively create and market a magazine. These tips are really just the beginning.

However, by incorporating these elements into a strategy that suits your vision, you’ll be well on your way to a loyal readership and a publication to be proud of.

If you’d like to learn more about Magazine Manager, Mirabel’s Marketing Manager, and/or Mirabel’s Digital Studio, request a free demo.

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A few reasons Facebook is better than Google

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Suzanne Frey, an executive at Alphabet, is a member of The Motley Fool’s board of directors. Randi Zuckerberg, a former director of market development and spokeswoman for Facebook and sister to its CEO, Mark Zuckerberg, is a member of The Motley Fool's board of directors. Jose Najarro owns shares of Alphabet and Facebook. The Motley Fool owns shares of and recommends Alphabet , Alphabet, and Facebook. The Motley Fool has a disclosure policy. Jose is an affiliate of The Motley Fool and may be compensated for promoting its services. If you choose to subscribe through his link, he will earn some extra money that supports his channel. His opinions remain his own and are unaffected by The Motley Fool.

This Stock Could Be Like Buying Amazon

Imagine if you had bought Amazon investment then would be worth more than today.

You can't go back and buy Amazon years ago… but we've uncovered what our analysts think could be the next-best thing: A special stock with mind-boggling growth potential.

With hundreds of thousands of business customers already signed up, this stock has been described as "strikingly similar to an early Amazon

Facebook stock has had an epic run since its public debut. Shares have surged nearly l, driven by massive global additions to active subscribers and dominance in online advertising -- with Alphabet's Google making up the other half of the virtual duopoly.

Over the last few years, though, Facebook has been dealing with some well-documented woes. There was some backlash after reports that user account information was improperly accessed by political consulting firms during the presidential elections. There has been more recent criticism from politicians over the type of campaign advertising the social media giant allows, and talk of whether U.S. antitrust investigators might eventually force a breakup of the company).

A man in the background pressing a Facebook "like" icon in the foreground.IMAGE SOURCE: GETTY IMAGES.

Facebook has thus far been able to withstand the criticism. And while ads make up the bulk of its revenue right now, the groundwork is being laid for a more diversified business. In 10 years, much of Facebook's operation will likely look similar to what it is right now. But the services available through one of the company's social apps should be far more diverse.

Online social interactions, ads, and average revenue per user

Facebook has turned into a cash-generating monster over the last few years. Revenue has grown over since 20 clocking in 2019. Free cash flow has been equally impressive, increasing to end n. Facebook's user count expansion is one of the key ingredients to its meteoric rise.

Year-End Period

Monthly Active Users

Increase (YOY)

1.06

25%

2013

1.23

16%

2014

1.39

13%

2015

1.59

14%

2016

1.86

17%

2017

2.1

14%

2018

2.32

9%

201ll

2.50

8%

YOY = YEAR OVER YEAR. DATA SOURCE: FACEBOOK.

Now with over active users of one of its apps, it's no surprise that growth in this important metric is slowing down into the high single-digit percentages the last couple of years. Expect that to continue in the next decade as low single-digit growth in new users is likely more realistic over the very long term.

But as Facebook has proved, new users aren't the only way to grow. CEO Mark Zuckerberg and his management team expect the top line to keep expanding north of 20% for the foreseeable future even though user additions are decelerating.

The new key ingredient is average revenue per user Back in the fourth quarter of Facebook's global ARPU was a mere compared with in Q4. The massive gain is a result of the company primarily figuring out how to better deliver ads and provide a lucrative platform for its advertising partners -- although the "other" segment, primarily Oculus virtual reality (VR), has also been steadily growing by double digits and hauled in about in revenue in 9.

ARPU is the metric to watch in the next decade at Facebook. It still has a lot of room to run in emerging markets. At the end of 2lARPU was a whopping $41.41 in Facebook's most mature North America geography. Over in Europe, where regulatory scrutiny is higher than here at home, ARPU was $13.21. That compares with just $3.57 in Asia-Pacific and $2.48 everywhere else. Put simply, Facebook has a lot of room to grow as emerging economies continue to develop.

Looking beyond the controversy

Facebook's business being tilted so much toward advertising is what frequently comes under the microscope, though, so let's assume that increasing ARPU from ads doesn't end up being the tailwind it has been the last eight years. That's OK. When it comes to consumer/business interaction, there's more going on than just advertising.

Facebook isn't blind to this fact, either. On the last quarterly earnings call, Zuckerberg outlined some of the work his company is doing to diversify. Much of that work at the moment is going toward helping users control privacy and access to their personal information. A large chunk of the $30.9 in expenses in 2018 and $46.8 in went toward various privacy updates and regulatory compliance. And Zuckerberg said other features are in the works: a private social platform for more intimate interactions, e-commerce, and payments, and a cloud computing platform.

Among those efforts is WhatsApp Payments, which will start rolling out to new countries the first half of . Also, there are new tools for small businesses and entrepreneurs to sell and accept payments online, the development of a next-gen AR/VR computing platform via Oculus that goes beyond delivering video games and entertainment, and messaging tools for business employees to communicate with one another and customers. With 8 paying advertisers and more than 14 using at least one free-to-use Facebook tool at the end of 2019, there's plenty of open space to keep growing.

All the talk about Facebook right now is centered on social issues, but I believe that will subside in time. The company is already a cloud computing giant geared toward its ad platform, and it's dumping a lot of investment dollars into growing its ecosystem of cloud-based tools for users and businesses alike. Paired with its dominance in selling advertising, there's a lot to like about Facebook as an investment over the next years.

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Suzanne Frey, an executive at Alphabet, is a member of The Motley Fool's board of directors. Randi Zuckerberg, a former director of market development and spokeswoman for Facebook and sister to its CEO, Mark Zuckerberg, is a member of The Motley Fool's board of directors. Nicholas Rossolillo and his clients own shares of Alphabet (C shares) and Facebook. The Motley Fool owns shares of and recommends Alphabet (A shares), Alphabet (C shares), and Facebook. The Motley Fool has a disclosure policy.

This Stock Could Be Like Buying Amazon in 1

Imagine if you had bought Amazon in 1997… a $investment then would be worth more than $4 today.

You can't go back and buy Amazon years ago… but we've uncovered what our analysts think could be the next-best thing: A special stock with mind-boggling growth potential.

With hundreds of thousands of business customers already signed up, this stock has been described as "strikingly similar to an early Amazon.com."

Etoro mikie98

stock traded near a record high in Friday stock market action, holding above the $1- mark after clearing that threshold on Monday's rally sparked by a federal court tossing the Federal Trade Commission's antitrust suit. The judge said the government had failed to offer any clear evidence that Facebook (FB) has a social networking monopoly.

X

So are antitrust worries history? Not according to Argus analyst Joseph Bonner, who wrote in a Wednesday note that antitrust and regulatory concerns will "continue to hound" Facebook. Still, Bonner hiked his FB stock price target to 410 from 385, keeping a buy rating. He cited the "partial victory" in court and "stellar" results driven by advertising strength.

FB Stock News:

In dismissing the complaint filed Dec. 9, the court faulted the FTC's "vague" assertion that Facebook has a 60%-plus market share, with no explanation of how that figure was derived.

The court said the FTC can amend its complaint within 30 days, so the bulk of the FTC's case remains in play. However, U.S. District Judge James Boasberg threw out a parallel suit against Facebook filed by states' attorneys general and narrowed the FTC's complaint, saying it could no longer seek relief for certain "long-past conduct" alleged to be anticompetitive.

Time may be on Facebook's side as it tries to avoid the ultimate penalty — an undoing ofInstagram and WhatsApp deals.

However, there's a new legislative track through which Congress could rein in Big Tech. On June 23, the House Judiciary Committee narrowly approved a series of Big Tech antitrust measures that could have significant implications for Facebook, including raising the bar for approval of future acquisitions.

One measure requiring data portability and interoperability, which Cowen Washington Research Group analyst Paul Gallant called the "mildest" of the bunch, passed by a 25-19 margin. Three California Democrats opposed the measure, while three GOP members backed it. Prospects for passage are unclear.

Exactly what the bill would do would be up to the Federal Trade Commission to interpret. Yet industry observers say it could require letting users of Snap Twitter and other sites connect with Facebook users. It also might require data-sharing, which could erode Facebook's ad-targeting advantage.

FB Stock: Bull Case

The big picture is that Facebook advertisers are using the social media site to connect with prospective customers like never before. The group of advertisers has grown to more than 10 million businesses from more than 8 million when the pandemic started.

The April 28 first-quarter earnings report showed revenue surging fueled by a 30% jump in ad prices. The price increase came even as the number of ad impressions served across Facebook properties grew 12%.

In the bull case, more and more businesses gravitate to Facebook, putting more of their ad dollars to work on its properties that deliver an industry-leading return on investment.

To protect and capitalize on its strong position, Facebook is innovating — and copying — rapidly. Its TikTok-like Instagram Reels is providing a new vehicle for advertising. Meanwhile, the Facebook Shops digital mall, first announced in May 2020, now has about 1.2 million active shops and more than 300 million shoppers, or at least browsers, per month, the company said on June 22.