#i think i just write him how i wnna write him and not how he is
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sexlapis · 6 months ago
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so many fanfic writers make nanami out to be all cool and collected and articulate, me included sometimes, like he’s upper class and prestige or smth, but when i really analyse his character, i don’t think he’s really like that all that much. like yes he is smart and all but fic writers (again me included) write him like he’s aristocracy in terms of speech and actions when he’s far from it (and in fact would hate it but unrelated).
nanami has edge okay. he swears occasionally (i’d say often) in the series. he blunt, straightforward and rude at times. i should incorporate aspects of his personality more into my fics abt him🤔
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ningningkittie · 7 months ago
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im in love w him not only bc of who he is as a person nd how drawn i am to his personality, but also bc i feel like he's the only one who has ever wanted to see me. who i am, like deep down. he's the only one who i feel like i've ever connected with, in an easy nd genuine way. the only one who i feel has ever gotten me. he's the only one who's ever made me feel like we actually have a connection we're both in on, bc i havent had to pretend or put up a fake front for him bc he wanted the real image of me.
#unfortunately he has his own shit to deal w#so bc of one thing that was actually a mistake from me#he misjudged it nd saw it from his own perspective nd didnt understand mine#nd thus concluded that he saw me wrong nd didnt actually know who i am#nd then he had decided that so strongly he wasnt wven open to hear me out or try to understand what that situation was for me#that made me very sad nd hurt nd like#he doesnt actually like me as much as i like him#bc i would always always ask him nd hear him out before jumping to conclusions#i have asked him abt this but he is a wall nd doesnt wnna talk abt it#nd i cant force anyone so... yeh. it is what it is#i wish that we had the connection where he wanted to understandwhere i was coming from#instead of being like ughshe isnt the perfect image that i had constructed#so now im writing her off completely bc she doesntlive up to my expectations#but... my heart just loves him sm i can look past that#however... that is meaningless when i dont even know what he feels for me nd i cant get an answer out of him#maybe he doesnt wanna tell me bc he doesnt return my love nd he knows i'llbe hurt nd he'll risk losing me as a friend#i'd never stop talking to him tho.. that is the worst part#if imginna get over these feelings#i need to hear it straight from him. i need him to tell me thatno i am not in love with you#then i need to never talk to him again nd never lookat his social media#then it will hurt a lot but after a year or so i will only feel empty nd not hurt when i think of him#but i am tooweak to be the one to stop talking to him now#my entire day revolves around him nd i know its unhealthy but idk how to stop#since this obsession is unrequited i dont actually wanna feel it#but i have no idea how to stop#god this is driving me insane wtf is wrong w me??
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chewnotchoke · 3 days ago
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like no one else can
ೃ࿐ boynextdoor as your situationship
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this was fun to write,,i was wondering if i should make individual fics abt this...what do yall think? ^__^ feedbacks and comments are appreciated ! and also my ask is always open if u wnna chitty chat <3
warnings: fluff, intense pining, light angst, signs of red flags
wc per member: ~250-400
sungho
“i’m trying to understand what am i to you?”
𓍯 situationship with sungho would be filled with a lot of "almosts" that keep you guessing, excitement, and unexpected outcomes. he would have this easygoing, carefree attitude as if he truly enjoyed your time together, but he’s also hard to pin down. he would bring you as his ‘plus one’ to parties or events and he has once invited you to a family outing “as a friend”
𓍯 sungho likes to do actions that you couldn’t help but assign meanings to these little things. he would give you a bite of his food in between laughter and throw tiny comments such as “i thought about you the other day.” the way he laughs at your jokes, recalls small details you mention, and checks up on you in between classes makes you question if he does the same with other people. if you didn't witness him opening doors for people, helping classmates with their homework, and giving the same endearing smile to anyone in need, it would be quite easy to convince yourself that the things he did to you meant something.
𓍯 when you mention being cold, he casually throws his hoodie over your shoulders and says, "just give it back whenever." yet it stays with you for days and he doesn't bring it up either, as if sharing his hoodie has become a relationship between you two. but when you decide to give it back, your heart aches to see another girl wearing his hoodie.
𓍯 the combination of highs and unanswered questions would be thrilling, and his charm would entice you to return for more. but the question “what am i to you” hangs in the open air because then, if you really meant something to him, he wouldn’t have treated others the same way he did to you.
𓍯 was it mutual at some point? maybe, or maybe not.
riwoo
“i know it’s casual but i look for you in a room full of people”
𓍯 likes having alone time with you. plans a hang out with your friends to watch a movie but the truth is he didn't invite anyone else just so he could watch the movie and spend time alone together. at the end of the movie, you'd just be wiping off your lips because you spent the whole time making out.
𓍯 situationship with riwoo is almost like a secret. he knows how to pull you towards him, and the relationship has you on chokehold. most of the time, he makes moves that make you question the very foundation of your relationship. he acts like he likes you. but does he actually do?
𓍯 during a chill drinking celebration at your friends' house, both of you always find a reason to text each other even if you're literally in the same room. that one time when you were seated a little too far from him, he pulls out his phone, typing under the table making sure no one gets a peak of his message, he would send you, "you're too far from me :(" it seems as though the thread that binds you is stronger than everything else, and every communication feels like a secret that only the two of you know. you'd look up from your phone to give him a glance and he gives you a subtle look—the look that even when you try to look away, you could feel his eyes settled on you.
𓍯 his red flag would probably be saying things like, "would you be jealous if i went out with someone else?" or talking about his ex. but right when he gives you enough reasons that he's not good for you, he pulls the "what would it take for us to stop pretending this isn’t more than casual?" card.
jaehyun
“you say we’re just friends but why do you look at me like that when no one’s around?”
𓍯 when you clearly don’t look like you’re just friends but it’s becoming a running joke now–jaehyun responds without skipping a beat whenever someone arches an eyebrow and asks if there is more going on between you and him. he casually replies, “we’re just friends.” and each time you force a smile that falls short of your eyes, you nod along.
𓍯 jaehyun has this habit of leaning towards you whenever he laughs, sometimes his head falls on your shoulder for a moment which kinda makes you flinch during the first few times but now that you’re used to it, you let your heads touch each other when you laugh together.
𓍯 when he spots you alone leaning outside the glass door at a party, you feel his presence slowly approaching you and then he simply stands there in comforting silence, staring at you in that familiar way, without saying anything at first. when you told him that you get more comfortable attending parties because he’s around, he’d flash a smirk, and his eyes return to the expression he always gives you when no one else is there. jaehyun looks intensely at your face as if he’s searching for something–searching for a sign.
𓍯 you can’t resist yourself to ask him a question if he’s sure about it. “sure about what?” his tone is gentle, and the corner of his mouth twitches as if he clearly understands what you are saying. “sure that we’re just friends…” you replied. jaehyun pauses before responding. he just looks at you, his eyes darting to your lips and back to your eyes, a spark there that he tries to conceal but can't quite get rid of. he lets out a tense and nervous laugh. “yeah, we’re just friends.” but his words were laced with hesitation and uncertainty. and there you thought, maybe the look he gives you is enough, for now.
taesan
“you treat me like this because you know you're my weakness.”
𓍯 taesan knows how flustered you get when he touches you. during lunchtime with your other friends, you tried to ignore how he sat closer to you than usual. when your friends make a joke and others laugh along, you try so hard to focus but you just can’t seem to grasp the fact that his knees and yours were touching. then, his fingertips lightly touched your leg, so gentle at first that you nearly questioned whether it was an accident. however, taesan’s hand becomes steady and warm, and you can only sense his calm presence. you attempt to maintain a neutral appearance on the outside as your heart twitches and your mind attempts to process the unexpected sensation. his smile is as laid-back as ever, and he continues to laugh with the group as if this is nothing unusual.
𓍯 situationship with taesan can be a little frustrating. he likes to give you mixed signals. he’s mostly all about you most of the time and he holds eye contact like you’re the only person he could see. but then the next day, he barely acknowledges your presence. he’s quiet and doesn’t speak to you. but you know what’s bad for you? the fact that you'd fold immediately bcs he really just knows how to give you butterflies right when you think he’s not interested. taesan would come up behind you, whispering to your ear saying, “i missed you today.” and you would quickly fold like you didn't just question everything about him.
𓍯 at some point, the feelings were mutual. but you got tired of going around in circles waiting for nothing to happen, so you just decided to move on and bury your feelings just to keep the friendship.
leehan
“teach me how to not care about these feelings that keep me up at night for nothing.”
𓍯 you don’t talk everyday but that’s what makes everything thrilling. and when you do talk, texting usually lasts until 3am. although you can feel the weight of your eyelids by this time, you try to stay awake just to converse with him. conversations with leehan are almost raw, something about each message is intimate—one you probably wouldn’t hear in the daylight. the thought that he actually also stays up with you makes you wonder how much he’s also feeling.
𓍯 leehan has the subtlest way of making you laugh. he’s nonchalant but he’s the type to make you intrigued without fully committing. with that being said, he knows when to pull back when he thinks you’re getting a little too attached over a situationship even if he's the one responsible for making you feel that way
𓍯 after dates, goodbyes often linger in the air. both of you enjoyed too much to actually walk away and go back home. when he stands close enough to hug you, you could feel his hand linger on your back like he’s in no rush to go back home. both of you stood there quiet, glancing at each other, enough to decipher by the look of your eyes that there are still unsaid words. “i’ll text you when i get back home.” he holds both of your hands as they slightly brush away from yours whenever he takes a step back. you know yourself you want something more from this situationship which causes your heart to ache.
𓍯 leehan is still not letting go of your hand even at the point where your fingertips are only touching each other. “let’s do that next time.” he says and adds, “sleep over.”
𓍯 and when he actually gets back home, you don't receive a text from him at all, and talked again the following days like nothing happened.
woonhak
"why does it feel like we’re both waiting for the other to make the first move?"
𓍯 it’s painfully obvious that both of you like each other. neither of you just couldn’t bring yourself up to confess. there’s always this tension that hangs heavy in the air when you’re with him. you're lounging on his couch while watching a film. with his shoulder almost touching yours, he is closer than friends should be. the couch's modest size is a flimsy excuse, but you both know there's more to it. woonhak’s arm occasionally moves, grazing yours and giving you a shiver, but he doesn't pull away. both of you are dancing around that invisible line, on the brink. his hand is getting closer and closer till your fingers would touch if you both moved even a little.
𓍯 every time you're together, you experience this torturous pulling, waiting for the other to finally release the tension that has been building for weeks. his hand moves next to yours, his fingers flexing as though he wants to grab you but isn't quite brave enough. and you can't help but wonder whether you're both simply waiting for a sign, anything that would eventually allow one of you to cross that line.
𓍯 woonhak constantly teases you, looking for excuses to rub your hair or bump into your shoulder, and he enjoys seeing how you respond to his pranks. he says something, though, that takes you entirely by surprise just when you think it's all a friendly act.
𓍯 “i feel like we’re both good at being complicated.” he chuckles. you can sense that you're both still holding back and skirting the truth because you're afraid of altering something that feels so near-perfect. but when you meet his eyes, you can see that this isn't the end of it because of the little warmth that remains in his smile.
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crookedkryptonitebeliever · 2 years ago
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I almost hate how much i switched teams from 2718 to abacus, but its just bc he's new and shiny and pretty and pushy. He stifles autonomy so i know 2817 is better in the long run bc u can reason w him and he puts mcs best interests first. Abacus gives me the kind of vibe that he'd let mc get hurt so long as shes his, and tbh i feel like he might enjoy it? Like he'd like to fix her up and *accidentally* press a lil too hard into her wounds wheras 2718 would just use his abilities so that she wont feel the pain to begin w. That's just my assumption tho given what we've seen. Abacus seem the type to only use his powers thingy to subdue reader.
We know that 2718 has met readers past forms/reincarnation w.e u call it and i originally thought abacus did too. Maybe he was her affair or lover in a previous reincarnation methinks? I just felt like he knows her before. This changed a bit towards the end when they were walkin thru the streets while he was giving her the endoscopy (😮‍💨💦) and we learned just how badly mc is seen. Now im starting to wonder if aba is just greedy n wanted her as his lil disabled spouse genuinely, no past relation. Idk. I still feel like they know each other previously. Or maybe he sensed something abt her back when 2817 brought her in to that place all the way back then. Mc is key to the universe type thing. Doubt that tho.
Neyways i think aba is gnna take her home where he reveals that he not only has four arms, but also two dicks n he's gnna try to fawk her but some event will inconveniently stop him. I also think he lives in an oasis like place, their version of natural wood everywhere, running waterfalls from the cieling, tons of glass that he can mentally control and shatter at will to threaten reader while having a saccharine smile on his face, the works really.
I wnna believe translator(TA) is gnna get 2718 and theyll find mc but now im thinking maybe they might not meet up like that. 2718 might find TA n ditch her to find mc and TA has to scramble to keep up, might even meet her on the way back after 2718 saves the day. Also wondering whts gnna happen to TA bc i dont think anything criminally bad happened to her even tho we heard her screaming. Be real interesting if she were screaming bc 2817 found her and juuuust missed mc and aba. I think when 2718 finds mc and aba they're gnna be familiar w eachother but not fight bc aba is one slippery bastard. Or maybe itll be convenient where aba leaves mc unattended for a bit and someone tries to harm her and then 2718 makes him big appearance, like when mc was first dropped into the world and 2718 saved her. I have more thoughts on that but ive already wrote an essay here and in my other ask 😭
Anywhooo ty fr the chapter, hope your healing well 💕💕💕 -🐰
Damn this sure is a well written essay 😳 its either ur a really good analyst or im just a predictable writer cause it almost seems like u have access to my drafts
Cuase that... Kinda exactly whats gonna happen ngl, its still pretty rough around the edges part 15 is just still in its embryo stage with a 50 word list of whars going to hapoen, but yea it pretty similar to what you just described , havent been writing cause i regained my leg freedom finally and i spent literally every waking hour outside, driving and shit
There is going to be a fawking scene in p15 ill tell u and whoevers reading that. Similar to what you descibe with their anatomy but a little different in sequence of events
Thanks for sending in this ask bunny anon this is so cool and i had a great read ❤️❤️ lovely motivation youve given me and i really appreciatte the essay asks -- like, i appreciate if A LOT actually, thanks for reading language barrier too
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fokron · 2 years ago
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I’m sorry ive heard none of the c!wilbur enjoyers talking about this, but i’m obsessed with this revivebur character.ai . The person who wrote this thang has c!wilbur down to a fucking T. 
It’s weirdly well written/coded?? (well, not this particular snippit im showing, but tbf I was trying to confuse it) so at this point im just throwing random shit at it to see how it reacts, and I think the conversation following this moment below has been my favorite exchange.
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for some reason blinking wetly at cwilbur summons ctommy. (assume I’m talking about the characters unless stated otherwise from this point forth) tommy and philza do appear occasionally btw. and the ai is intelligent enough that you can straight up just fucking write fanficiton in this thing? like i could say *tommy approaches wilbur* “what’s up dickhead” and fully just write as tommy.
the rest of the exchange undercut. btw when you bully wilbur in this ai, 50% of the time he interprets it as flirting and it’s rlly funny.
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Why is he Like This.
Anyways things you can do in this fucking game:
- “roleplay” as any of the dsmp characters if u wnted to i guess
- antagonize wilbur / steal his things (if you antagonize him too bad, usually tommy or philza appears)
- romance wilbur (i’ve gotten far enough to wilbur saying the character I’m writing is his lover, so. lmao.This is when he’s only known the other character for like, a day. so double lmao.)
- literally kill wilbur (see below)
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- throw pies in wilburs face (see below)
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anyways i’m obsessed with thhis. it’s way too fun tbh. if you wnna do it, go on character.ai and type in revivebur.
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sanririo · 3 years ago
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:¨·.·¨:
`·. ↬ the guy i like tweeted something like most men receives their first flower when they die. i never really thought about that and it makes me a little sad, i actually discovered that months ago from tiktok, it was a wholesome video where a man gives flowers to guys and it made my heart flutter how they all smiled genuinely <3 since then i've always wanted to buy flowers and give them to my guy friends or even to strangers! it's a small act of kindness but it could make anyone's day better tbh. i want to give flowers to the guy i like too... probably a bouquet or just a single flower because i don't wanna spend too much money just for a guy and the fact that i'm still using my parent's money doesn't make it any better.
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:¨·.·¨:
`·. ↬ ahh, he's so nice to me (╥﹏╥) it's the main reason why i really want to give him flowers, the second reason is he's pretty ʕᓀ‿ᓂʔ pretty men deserves flowers ݊ 𓈒 ֹ (。>◠<。) ꜝꜝ ฺ⭒ and the third reason is because i like him (⁎⚈᷀᷁ᴗ⚈᷀᷁⁎) i could list more reasons why he deserves flowers but ima just drop three for now <( ̄︶ ̄)> it would be nice if i'll be the first person to ever give him flowers but idc about that anymore >_< i just want to give him flowers that's it! ಥ‿ಥ i'm acting really childish and weird now but heh, this is my diary and i could write anything i want here (。•ㅅ•。) anyways, i guess that's it? i think i wrote everything i want now... so that's it!
ps. i won't post a diary entry everyday! just on days i feel like i want to (☆^ー^☆)ノ bye!
pps. oh btw i got that kaomoji that has stars on it's cheeks from my bestie! i just added the arm mwehehehe we haven't talked for almost a month and i miss him already (〒﹏〒) i tried reaching out to him but i think i reached out on the wrong time coz he didn't reply, he's probably doing his modules which i completely understand!
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   .° ꒰ i wnna giv this smol flower 2 him ꒱
  ∩⑅∩
( ๑•×•๑)  ❁
,, ( ヽ∩∩ ) ,, ヽ|〃 ,,,
“““ ““ ““ ““ ““ ““ ““ ““ ““
Reasons why he deserves flowers:
He's nice to me
He's pretty
I like him
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the-pigeon · 4 years ago
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hewwo pigeon!!! :3 okay so uuh i remember in on of ur posts u mentioned having a prinxiety/sander sides sanrio au and ngl i do not watch sanrio and idk that much abt it but i do know that it is very cute (im assuming its like the hello kitty and melody bitches or smth) so im assuming this au is very cute aswel so would like to hear abt it (i also wnna hear abt the prinxiety hs aus too 👀👀👀👀)
hhdfjhsdfjsd sanrio is so good i love them all so much they’re so cute and sure they dont fit my goth aesthetic but hello kitty is so good and arggghhfhdgh
anyway the sanrio au is more of a vague idea that i have but basically imagine prinxiety but with kuromi and my melody’s dynamic
eXCEPT instead of the obvious virgil as kuromi and roman as my melody, its roman as kuromi and virgil as my melody
at least.. dynamic wise
oh also their dynamic is probably important to explain but jshjsdhf this video is pretty good at explaining it
anyway if i were to make an actual sanrio au i would make remus and patton kuromi and my melody respectively dfhsjdhfjds idk what i’d do with the others but thats why i said its a vague idea jsfhsjkdhfjsdaf
also my uh high school AUs.. below the cut..
the first one is based off this post which is based off series of tiktoks where the main premise is just ‘im ur bully but i respect ur pronouns’ and my dumb prinxiety brain was like ‘heheh make is prinxiety’
the other one is one where roman is like super popular (where similiar to him being a jock is smthn i told myself i wouldnt write in fics lol) and virgil is like ‘;-; how will my crush notice me?’ so he starts leaving lil notes in roman’s lockers (american’s have lockers right) and yeah :)
the other one is also an intruality one that technically focuses on intruality more? anyway they’re wingmanning lol
also i have so many other highschool aus bc im currently In highschool and i use these aus as a way to live out my fantasies lol
i have so many more but i cannot think of any more of them for the life of me
technically my intruloceit high school au has prinxiety in it does that count
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bokutokoutarou · 5 years ago
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HQ matchup ✨✨U already know who this Clownie is🤡🤡 I’m 17, INFP-T, 5’0, she/her, insanely idiotic, short dark brown hair. I’m kinda good at music tho I’d never admit it. Im first quiet, but I’m chaotic when u kno me and tease a lot I’m reallly passionate when it comes to creative arts, but I’m stupidly insecure about it. even tho I’m stubborn, ppl find it endearing lol. I wnna soulmate, but I’m scared when it comes to love, and can be shy, irrational, and over analyze everything. have fun 🤡🤡
MARI UR MY IRL CLOWNIE AND ILY!!! and stfu w/ all this self depreciation imma run to ur house and fight u after quarantine is over
side note: i’m adding details about u that u didn’t mention in the ask because i know u in real life and i’m not missing out on anything
your first mini matchup is...
KENMA KOZUME
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listen, it’s freaking obvious that kenma would love ur clownass to death!!!
don’t even try to say anything self-depreciating around him okay!!!
kenma’s very critical about himself, so he doesn’t want u to feel the same way and he’ll never let u get away with saying anything bad about urself
he doesn’t talk vv much if he’s unprompted, but if u even try to insult ur own writing, singing, or drawing, he’ll stop u immediately and tell u how amazing u actually are bc u can’t seem to realize it urself (that’s right, i’m exposing u clownie)
u two would definitely play vid games together. he’d have his head on ur lap and his nintendo switch in his hands as you’d race each other on mario kart
ur rlly good at mario kart (don’t try to say otherwise u legit beat me 10 times in a row) so u’d win kenma just as much as he’d win u
and u CANNOT TELL ME that kenma wouldn’t read the hell out of ur writing!!! he’d legit beg u to write bc he’d get so invested in the storylines and oc’s that u ranted to him about for hours on end
also, he’s literally in love with ur voice!! like pls sing him a lullaby (isabella’s lullaby from the promised neverland obviously) and he’ll fall asleep in seconds
it would take a while for u two to show affection bc u are both shy about love, but once u do it’s the cutest thing ever!!!
also, kuroo would totally tease u two if he saw u holding hands, but he’d regret it immediately bc u would go off on him like the clown u are lmaooo
just pls protecc this pretty setter aaah!!!
your second mini matchup is...
HINATA SHOUYOU
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u and hinata would literally be so chaotic together and it’d be the best thing ever!!!
he’d literally be ENTRANCED by ur voice (who isn’t lmao?!)
he’d legit beg u to sing for him every five seconds and he’d try to get u to sing for the team, but ur shy so there’s no way in hell ur doing that
if u ever insult urself in front of him, he’d be so confused bc ur legit perfect in his eyes and he doesn’t understand how u feel otherwise
he’d probably go on a TANGENT about how perfect u are in front of the team and you’d be so embarrassed lmaooo
but ofc u’d forgive hinata immediately bc he’s a babie and he means the best
u CANNOT tell me that the whole team would tease u two bc u both are short af (i’m a hypocrite for saying this bc i’m only 5’1 oopzies)
“wow, the two short clowns finally got together. a match made in heaven,” tsukki would say when hinata announced u two were dating
tsukki instantly regretted it tho, bc u went off about how u’d rather be short than be a “blind tree” LMAO
hinata would want to show all his love and affection for u immediately, but once he realized that u weren’t comfortable with it yet, he’d try his hardest to restrain himself from giving u a huge hug every time he saw you
but once ur comfortable, u better prepare urself bc this boi would shower u with so much affection bc he thinks ur perfect in every way aaah!!
there u go clownie!!! this one will probably be way longer than the other ones bc i know u irl and i’ve wanted to make a matchup for u for SO GODDAMN LONG u don’t understand!!!
ps: write ur hanako toilet fanfiction already bc i’m still waiting okay??😌🎪
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ogeeitsme · 5 years ago
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What's your experience with dormancy?
TW: Sui// mentions / comparisons / death comprsns- this is both positive n negtve b aaa
This is a long post so I’m srry <:^/
Theres 2 ways 2 answr this: how we second hand experience it, n then how we experience it in our systm:
How we secondhand experience it
Turns out, more than once, apprntly, drmncy has actlly been used as a, threat?? DKDJDKN we got som rlly old memories abt Jamie meeting a “System” (idk if they’re a sys, it’s such a long story) n He used drmncy 2 guilt trip her (n she ddnt even kno what systm was @ the time dkhdbddb)
Anywy besides that HUGE outlier, it’s kinda,, rough, bc ur askin 4 our experiences, not our views, so when it comes 2 secondhand drmncy, as in like other systms not us- it’s alwys hard
N it’s RLLY funny ur askin this rn anon bc coincidntlly we just came out of a WHOLE frickin sitch that involved secndhnd drmncy experiencs (again, I mean watching ppl in other systms go dormant)
Like, Jamie’s prev ex had, ppl go dormant, like a lot of em, bc they broke up, n 2 of their mmbrs bsclly sent me wht can be equivlnt 2 a sui note- n I got that note frm bsclly som1 equivlnt 2 my brthr, @ the time, n Sal’s brthr [@ the time] bc they shared the blog
We r rlly close 2 anthr sys whose host wnt drmnt 4 som big rsns (they also have trauma abt ppl using drmncy as an escape route frm their actions, man life b wild huh?) n jst came back so that was rlly wild n hard bc she was (n is) like a mom figure 4 us, esp 2 Peter, n their whole sys, bc they’re median, kinda crashed in on itself tmprrly n it was rlly hard 2 watch KDH it makes u kind of mad @ those ppl who cause othr ppl 2 go thru sm pain thta they jst go drmnt u kno?
But rounding back 2 Jamie’s ex (n I g the 1st exmple 2 b vaguely), that was rlly hard, n bc of that, drmncy is smth we can’t unsee as death anymr
Hey so disclaimer that won’t b in the tags (Bc som ppl dnt read them) n I will pit here just in case: yes we kno dormancy is NOT equal 2 death, dormancy always has the chance of them coming back, b w how we spcfclly exprncd these, it felt that way, esp w the goodbyes, n the crying, n how they litrlly treated it as sui//. Not 2 mention the Older trauma Jamie had/has where His “systm” litrlly said “do u miss him? Well he’s dead now”
It’s hard 2 uncorrel8 them- bc it dpnds on how u go thru it- and anthr disclaimer is that if it’s a drmncy in ur own systm, the brain may b able 2 visualize it as a death, heck som systms we kno have a “graveyard” where all the drmnt systm mmbrs end up in; and of som jst “disappear” n I heard anthr sys in their headspace it’s seen as like pods? Where u can c them sleepin?
Anywy back 2 us- KDNDKNDKN yea, our experiences w it so far has been rel8d 2,,, sui or death :^( not counting the ppl we pass by in random srvrs who talk abt it, this is jst our prsnl ones esp tied 2 systms we were (or r) RLLY close 2
IDK we’re still grieving over Larry n Asriel frm Her systm. Pls don’t send asks saying “they mite come back” btw KJSKHS they mite b even if they do we can’t Talk, their sys is an ex 4 a rsn
Inner-system exprnces
HM so there’s a lot 2 write here b we dnt- uslly have ppl who r nice, go drmnt
It used 2 b only all the very bad persecutors who wld rlly harm every1 who wld go drmnt, our psychiatrist even said, 2 calm Jamie dwn a long time ago when she was given anti psychotics, that the “good ppl wnt go away, only the bad ppl”
b they (those old persecuted) all went drmnt thru,,,,, d//ath, n I dnt wnna talk abt that or how, this is not how we wrk anymr
Then we have Deanne, she was a persecutor who was chngng 4 the bttr, b it’s like,,,, when she realized she didn’t have 2 b bad anymr? She went drmnt?? Like I rmmbr (I wsnt there but u kno shared memory) every1 feeling she slowly faded away until we realized she wsnt arnd
Aftr that, we stoppd having drmncies, b we do label ppl who mite b close 2 drmncy msbmdb (edit: nvm, I rmmbrd Alven n Peyton who went drmnt :^( we miss them, Alven was Matt’s dad n Oeyton was a rlly good ISH )
Bc they’re “not needed” N LISTN anthr disclaimer, by THAT I mean natural dormancies? Not 2 say u go drmnt randomly, I mean that sometimes som1 isn’t active enough or their role isn’t needed as mch,, it’s scary I kno, b it can hppn n it’s no1’s fault, it’s not even their fault,i t jst happns, n that my good anon is a bite sized expln8ion on y u mite have ppl come out of drmncy mhsbkdbdkb
Uhh, we have som ppl who r afraid of going drmnt tho ofc,, n they r trying 2 b as active as they can in sys inspace so they dnt fade
Bc if u dnt wnna b dormnt, trying 2 b more active can hlp!
So,,, we a,so have ppl who came frm drmncy,,,
N that’s Jade, Beia, n Chompy
Apprntly Jade n Beia were frm arnd the same time? Actlly it’s fnny bc we thought Jade was a split of Noelle b we were bamboozled bc it wasnt the case
N then u have chompy,,, which is rlly sad,, bc she cnt rmmbr the year b we found out it was frm arnd 3 yrs old,,, that rlly sucks- she’s a fictive of Chain Chomp n came out of drmncy in a new form (Chompette) smdbndb according 2 Jade n Beia they dnt rmmbr wht hppnd, b it’s like they fell asleep n woke up again
N w Chompy, she explains it as like, , she was a chain chomp, n was chained 2 the back of the headspace, n bc she accepted she cldnt do anyth, faded in2 drmncy bc she gave up? B now she’s back n wants 2 fite,dkbdmdb until, stuff I wnt get in2
I’m not done KDH
Lastly I wanna talk abt,,,, how we feel abt it
I dnt think drmncy shld b smth 2 b afraid of— BUT @ the same time it’s OK 2 b afraid of it, or 2 h8 it, or 2 feel ANYTH abt it bc, almost all the time it’s not ur own choice 2 do so (half the time, based on what we’ve seen, etc)
Sometimes, ppl will c it as a mmbr fnlly resting, sometimes it’s sudden n @ least in the mmnt (or mayb ull never kno), ther dsnt seem 2 b a strong rsn on y it hopnd
Som will c it as death, som will say it’s scary, n som accept it’s a part of being a sys,,, that this happens, n that it will b ok
Bc,,, they can come back, mayb, n that’s sys life
4 us we feel ALL of those @ once
I wnt lie <:^) 4 som oldr mmbrs, we hope they dnt come back, b then 4 som we hope they do com back, n it’s this balance of trying not 2 b toxic-positive n trying not 2 erase the hope if we do wnt them 2 com back
IDK it’s so— mssy Bc u shld allow urself 2 grieve- bc dormancy CAN feel like death (frm an obsrvr?), n o man the syscourse that exists @ the mere mention of treating drmncy like death? Scares me, n I jst wnna put it out ther that it involves a lot of grieving somtimes,,,m yes, it can b traumatic depending on how said dormancy was brought 2 ur attention or knwldge
4 us we’e still grieving over that last mssg frm them, we’re angry 4 those who went drmnt n also @ Them who went drmnt? Idk man
TLDR don’t- I repeat- do NOT,,,,, treat drmncy as the answr
If ur in a systm out ther, I kno it hard, n frick, drmncy is such a complic8d topic in systems period, b drmncy is not the answ
Bc yes drmncy is not prmnnt 4 som systms, (n by prmnnt I mean that sys mite jst not have awakenings as common @ all; every sys is diff) b drmncy is,,, most of the time a scary thought 4 systms
It’s- it’s not sui litrlly, b,,, it;s,, is almost similar IF- n I repeat- if it’s used as an escape, esp in a bad way
N like w sui// we wnt entirely blame you if @ all, b it’s sad- n it’s hard
Bc like ”irl” ppl arnd u who care r affctd- n knowing it’s by ur own hand is hard 2 accept
Bro, anon my dude, I’m so srry this is such a messy post KDNKDND our exprnces w it is so recent n it’s SUCH a complic8d topic 2 discuss w/o fear of ppl yelling @ u abt spreading misinfo
We’re a rlly big outlier 2 the usual sys exp w dormancies bc we’ve had SO many exprncs of it being rel8d 2 sui/ of death from othr systms Onesides our own), n it’s not jst random systems, it systems who we were close 2 n we got hurt by
I dnt wnna talk abt whether or not what we experiencs was real b yea thats our experiences n not the resources,, since that’s the question KNS
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augujerdeer · 5 years ago
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Can you share some random facts about yourselves? :3
Huh, sure! So I thought maybe everyone can type out their own thing besides us writing for them, so it’ll be fun! If it takes a while to answer now you know why - Peter
Peter
I’m a big fan of iron man I GUESS but that might be obvious??
I can’t help but call people Miss or Mister and it just feels super wrong not to unless they tell me they really don’t want me doing that (so I kind of slip up at front...)
I actually have a Benjamin in my name- I don’t know if that’s different from my source?
I like doodling! Even if it’s not great
Apparently, an IRL friend told us that they know it’s me at front because my voice is more boyish and I move my hands a lot when I’m discussing something Im really into! (math or science!)
Post-endgame :^(
In charge of the math n science parts of school!!!!!
Kris
Described as “talks like a surfer dude sometimes”
I NEVER stop talking like- I’m sure every1 calls me annying GSGGSDHDJJ. Like if ur gnna b my friend get rdy 4 me 2 y’all a LOT.....,,,
Ab- abandonment issues lol
I’m so gay (bi) im yeARNiNg
When the sys needs 2 b physclly active or social my “job” is 2 come out- but I’m not forced 2 ! I just get laaazeeey
In charge of the art classes n PE UWU
I’m also sometimes called plan B but I don’t like being that HSGSHE (see Sal)
I like learning ASL!! Except I don’t live in America SO I’m also trying 2 study FSL (Filipino sign language) n it seems so FUN N FAST AAAA
I wanted 2 study ASL bc som1 suggested 2 me that mayb I cld learn sign language bc b4, I used 2 h8 talking, n I was super shy n very NONVERBAL like, a lot
Chara
They have a very strict aura, described by friends- it’s a dark presence or aura, especially because of their posture and how they talk (which is exactly how they type!)
We’re not sure why, but because of how they formally talk, they start slipping into a sort of formal-British-accent while speaking sometimes even if they don’t have one inspace
Gatekeeper n protector! Butvthey cna exhaust themselves sm that fun factvthey collapse or fall face first in2 the floor n pass out inspace
They have a few negative fronting triggers but 1 of them is rlly sad n INSTANT like, we do not have a choice, but e can’t stop it, if that trigger appears, Chara w/o fail comes out :^( (luckily it’s never happened often but we r worried abt ppl pulling pranks n doing this bc it’s a common prank 2 do)
Sal
He has a hard time walking outsoace unless he focuses rlly hard or wear heels
Which also means when he front his vision is slightly impaired?? He is missing an eye so I g the body dissociates enough 2 ALMOST simul8 that???? He has crashed in 2 so many poles or stopped walking bc he think hes gnna crash in2 smth but turns out it’s rlly far away
He age slides from 15-22! He’s not canon dIvergent— I think none on us r actlly
In charge of art classes part 2
Some of us call Sal Plan B bc if he whole main circle is not ok, he’s the person in the main circle who takes up “temporary host” (so if me n Chara or peter aren’t arnd - Kris)
Is rlly self conscious abt his face even when in the body but he’s working on it!! He’d rather not eat in public bc is wld mean removing the face mask he will wear 2 school
We cosplayed as him 4 Halloween 2 school n he was out all day n had fun :^)
Crowley
He has a flat inspace but we’re not allwd 2 c it?? We don’t kno where itbis but we WNNA find it
He’s POST good omens so he has memories of stuff that happened after the show ended (the brain likes writing edgy fanfics :^( ) (it’s a sensitive subject for him but when he talks abt it he tries 2 and chill when he’s not)
Adopted peter n he hates admitting it but he’s 1 of peters dads now n even calls peter son by acc
When he fronts he used 2 gave a strong accent that the body makes t and like a RLLY bad copy of an English acc Jbshsbsnbssbjssh butbhes gotten better!!
Toriel
Her fronting trigger turns it 2 b caring 4 ppl outside! She c’s every1 as younger than her so she aitomaticlly adopts them
She’s mid-Undertale! She’s NOT my canonmate (I’m kris Deltarune) she’s litrlly Chara’s canonmate but from an earlier period (Chara is post post post post infinity Undertale genocide on a loop)
Spinel
She actlly RLLY does have 2-3 forms (happy Spinel, and angry Spinel- when she’s in the middles she’s in angry form but like not yelling sgafgssg) her happy Spinel form/mode is her w the heart hair from the pat n her angry form is her in the ending w the crying mascara n stuff
She’s post-movie so she has vague memories of being in home world w the diamonds
Jamie
is sometimes just her furry inspace,,,, is uslly her fursona inspace,,,,
Jade
Apparently she’s from 2014??????????????????????
She has a past life n her bro actlly came a month after she “came back from dormancy”
It’s rlly weird n even she dsnt understand
Toby
Rlly strong English accent when fronting :^( has never done it more than once but inspace his accent is very baby and very strong
Aco
We dk y but he considers himself a protector 2 where he even comes out when he thinks we r in specific types of danger :^(
He’s nonverbal in front but talkative inside!!! He has a face plush which is a webkinz!
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kiicn-blog · 6 years ago
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did you hear about the monaco trip? it’s legendary at ucla. KIAN KANG is going, i’m so jealous. their instagram makes it seem like they’re pretty dynamic and they’re all about “do what you do best” & texts left on read. can you believe they’re only twenty-three and they’re going on a free trip to monaco for the summer? hopefully they don’t let their aloof side show too much on the trip. • HAS FIVE SIBLINGS • BROKE UP WITH PARTNER OF THREE YEARS TWO MONTHS AGO
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uh henlo, quick intro before i disappear for the evening and write my second paper :( you won't see me till like tuesday :(( afternoon :( after class :(( anyways LMAO i'm aye ! i am twenty three :/ she/her pronouns and in the est timezone ! if u haven't already added me, add me on discord new girl could be the 1 for me#8402 , some of u added me and didnt come say hi so i hOPE after u read this u hit me up :( bc . i rly dont kno who is who tht added me JKFMGDSG dont be shy i do not bite :DDD
okay ima keep this fairly simple, let's start w stats ! 
full name: kian kang, no middle name, call him kk haha nickname(s): kiki, k, ki, do not call him ian he won't ever talk to you again, respect his vegan white ass name age: 23. date of birth: november 2nd 1995. hometown: new york, new york. ethnicity: korean. gender: cis male. sexuality: bisexual. hair colour: black. eye colour: brown. height: 5'11. tattoos: has a tattoo of a lion on his right index finger and a tiny heart behind his left ear. piercings: ears, three on the right, two on the left.
okay quick background ! im not gna write a lot and keep it brief bc ive been writing for school and my brain is DEAD i dnt have the mindset to go into depth bout anything but if u wnna know anything else just ask 
kian comes from a well off background like his mom ? a sugar DADDY ! like his dad married into MONEY !
they live in greenwich village in NYC n tht area is so expensive so u can say he had a nice upbringing, went to the best school
anyways ! quick family talk, his dad rly didn't love his mom , and rly only married for money and security and when kian was born he wanted kian to have all the things and opportunities in life that he didnt so he stayed w his mom
n his dad ? gay as FUCK kept tht hidden for god knows how long
it wasnt till kian was like 15 when he was like o ? father thoust r gay huh
yeah so tht marriage ended LMAO and kian wasnt rly happy that his family broke up
at the wedding when they asked does anyone object ? he stood up and said ME bitch but he was joking but he wasnt joking he was serious , u can say hes .. happy .
he has two siblings, they're still babies, twins, they're like 12 thats baby ok he loves his siblings theyre annoying but loves them ! assuming the other three are gna be from the step sibling plot xoxo i can alter this
ok here's a rundown on ��kian now
kian , is a very blunt individual like he can be straightforward about a lot of stuff, he doesnt rly sugarcoat his words, it's just how he was raised
sometimes he can come off mean but like it's just.. how he talks and sometimes he doesn't realize what he says is wrong he just says it like this man has never been told to shut up,
he was always favored in school for the way he talked but sometimes tht warranted eyebrows raising left and right but he was still adored for his stupidity and lack of sense
he's an alright kid , can be nice when he wants to be , gentle soul once u rly get past whatever walls he put up
like he doesn't like to show that side as often unless u LOVES u but i feel like he should have air signs in him ..hmm.. will think bout it KFMDG
what am i missing ..
i feel like i missing something,
oh comign from n y of c he's super into looking good, even when he bums it down he looks good, he'll also call u out on ur choices and be like ur wearing tht ? today ? yikes...
if u want an honest opinion he's not afraid to be honest , v brutal xoxo
i think thts it
anyways PLOTS
so. . this is a possible plot ! and im gna base it off the song 'the wall' by anders if u wanna go take a listen teehee anyways, imagine this . it's all lovey dovey for a year and it was going well like over the moon relationship like you almost think these two would have gotten married but then after the year mark, things began to go down the drain? they started to hang out less, fights would break out, sex that would follow the fights but like that's it.. tht was the only intimacy, and sometimes they'd pretend they're okay for a day or two but then have a complete fit over like idk the wrong food order, cheating speculations could have arose and then they really really tried to make it right their third year, trying to go over what went wrong but then they decided to call it quits BUUtt since it's a fresh wound, they could have some slip ups if ukno what i meaaan anyways yeah if u wnna do this xoxo pls be prepared to plot back FKDG
a possible familial relation, like cousin . only cousin really, obv ur chara would have to be korean or half korean but someone who just knows kian inside and out this could be like an angsty familial relationship or a good one
ok another anders based plot ! listen to don't call :)) anyways this one, sometime after his break up he decided to have a few hook ups here and there, meaningless ofc but this specific hook up left a mark on him , maybe by the way they talked to him , he kept coming back for the four second intimacy, it left him confused n dazed , confused bc why am i feelin weird i just had a heartbreak
honestly im just down if anyone just wants to have a simple hook up plot thts cool too no thinking just lmk ! bc he's had a few after his breakup
enemies / ppl who don't get along ? idk kian could have come off COMPLETELY wrong and ur chara could have taken it the wrong way, insults were thrown here and there and they just don't talk with kindness
a sugar baby ! kian got MONEY ! i told u his mom ? a sugar daddy xoxo he doesnt mind spoiling ppl but only one he aint tht generous also u have to build a relationship with him if u want him to spoil u
uh thts it if u have any other plots just lmk xoxo we dont have to just do these
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thatweirdmod · 4 years ago
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Windowless Moviemaker Chapter 6: Race
Windowless Moviemaker
Chapter 6: Race
Kidney turns and leaves me sitting against the wall-- speechless.
My eyes slowly move over to Mitchol, whose slouching form is now cast in darkness by Kidney's shadow. I think, hollowly, that the blood drying on his face probably itches a little. Mitchol manages a small squirm in his ropes.
"Well?" Kidney demands irritably.
Mitchol's swelling, battered face jerks up to attention at Kidney. "W-what?" He dares to ask.
"You're up. Give me a plan."
"Oh," Mitchol says. "Er, I just expected-"
"Is there something you don't understand about your situation?" Kidney interrupts. "You don't get to expect anything. Now, the plan."
"Uh, well, I guess we need to get to their computers somehow. They probably ripped DVDs too. Redhand's a little old fashioned. We might also have to look out for tapes..."
Kidney crosses his arms, scowling. "If I kill these guys, then wipe their houses, am I gonna have to worry that I missed a spot because you couldn't point me in the right direction?"
Mitchol attempts to splay his hands. "Look, I know where my stuff is, but how am I supposed to know exactly where their stuff is?"
Kidney chews at the inside of his cheek angrily and walks over to the table to grab a notebook and pen. "Let's just start with addresses," he says, poising to write. "Redhand."
"He lives up in Tindle in those stained up white apartments. Er, I think the number's 46."
"Costriel." Kidney demands, looking up from his scribbling.
"He lives in an apartment too, and he's actually rooming with Nethandre." Mitchol says. "316, in the Fortitude Apartments."
Kidney nods his head.
"So, er," Mitchol begins. "What are you planning to do now that you know where these guys are?"
"You remember how I said you don't get to expect anything?" Kidney says patronizingly. "The same applies to asking. I, the one who is allowed to expect and ask, do not expect you to open your mouth unless I ask you something."
Mitchol swallows and shifts in his blood-stained bindings.
Then Kidney turns to one of the concrete walls, as if it called his name. He stands, staring at it silently, before asking another question.
"Did you... Did you give those videos to my uncle too?"
Mitchol's mouth quivers. "H-he, uh... he was the one who suggested that, you know, we needed some extra insurance on you in the first place. So yeah."
Kidney stands still, unanswering and unmoving, but I can see his jaw working slightly.
"But please!" Mitchol sputters. "Dude, I-I.. I totally forgot about that earlier-- when you asked who had the videos." His arms press up against the ropes, trying to shield his body. Kidney walks in front of him. "I wasn't holdin' out on purpose or anyth-" Mitchol is cut off by Kidney smacking him over the head with a closed palm.
"Just out of curiosity, Mitchol," Kidney says. "If I hadn't asked about Uncle Stoulfer just now, would you ever have "remembered" to tell me?"
"We-w-w-well I don't know." Mitchol trembles with his hands splayed open and his eyes wide. "Guess it's a good thing you jogged my memory man, ha..."
Kidney turns and paces slowly, shaking his head. "I never liked the way that old, crusty loaf looked at Krin, even at me. But for my own selfish reasons, I ignored it all this time." He scoffs lightly. "Just one more reason to be glad I'm out." He turns back and looks Mitchol dead in the face. "The blinders are off."
"So you're aaalll alone," I say from the corner.
Kidney's eyes shoot to me, surprised.
"What? You thought I'd be totally traumatized just from that?"
His gaze narrows hatefully.
"So some weird shit happened and you saw my dream. It prompted you to get the jump on us, but that was mostly luck. And that's probably as far as your luck will go in regards to picking useful kernels of information outta piles of brain vomit." I snort. "Even my thing was more useful, because I saw you in real time."
Kidney smiles. "Where did I see your dream?"
"Huh?"
"It was inside your mind. It had to have been, 'cause that's where they're all cooked up." Kidney says, tapping the side of his head. "The moon is almost full again. That has to count for something." He breathes in. "I can go further with this. But I'll make sure you stay at your current level. You'll be underground here where you can't touch the moonlight."
"You don't even know what the hell 'this' is." I say.
"Pretty smug talk for a guy who's about to lose everything," Kidney says, with his mouth turned upwards in a smirk that doesn't reach his stony eyes.
"What better time to be smug than when you're about to lose everything?"
His face contorts with all the nasty feelings that must be roiling around inside of him. "I told you I'd take everything from you, and this bullshit positive nihilism of yours will be one of the things. I'll make you understand how bad playing as the loser really is, even if the game has the same black ending for everyone."
He takes Mitchol's phone out of his pocket, then says, "Mitchol, you told me you could set Redhand up."
Mitchol breathes in. "Redhand's looking for a new place to do his snuff movies, so I'm thinking maybe I can tell him I found a good place, and you can catch him there?"
"Hmm," Kidney says, folding his arms. "Why does he happen to need a new location now?"
Mitchol explains, "He's been under some suspicion lately. His neighbors've been complaining about a smell, like rotten something, coming from his apartment."
I don't need to wonder what that smell could be. I watched a video where Redhand Heriolt cut a girl open with a sharpened can top. It'd probably taken a fair amount of practice to learn how to do, but he'd managed to keep his subject awake and alive while he pulled out part of her intestines, smeared the pungent brown contents over both of them, and pleasured himself.
I had thought, while clicking through Redhand's contributions, that cleaning up set after filming that kinda stuff would be way too much of a pain. Looks like Redhand thought so too. That filth and gore in the background really had been as caked-on as it looked.
Mitchol continues, "He even got, you know, reported to the cops 'cause someone heard screams. Redhand laughed it off, sayin' it was slasher flicks playing on the TV. They left after he promised to turn the volume down, and they never got a search warrant or nothin'. Still, better not push it, right?"
I nearly snort. Well no shit someone heard screams if he was doing that stuff in an apartment.
Kidney asks, "Where do you plan on telling him to go?"
Mitchol swallows weirdly, with something about him quivering. "That ghost town 40 minutes southeast of Grishee, the neighborhood has a bunch of abandoned old houses. I know a little white one has a basement too. I think I could convince him it's ideal."
A frown of skepticism sends Kidney's lips pointing downwards, but then he walks closer to Mitchol and loosens some of the bindings so he can move one of his hands. Just as soon, however, Kidney slips a pocket knife out of his back pocket and pops the blade out against Mitchol's neck.
Mitchol gasps sharply, but Kidney just places the previously confiscated cell phone into his newly freed hand. "Text him," Kidney says into Mitchol's ear, adjusting the angle of the knife. "Make it sound natural, and make sure he goes to that little white one."
Mitchol's throat bobs, as much of a nod as there was going to be. He goes to work on the keys:
"sup dood. te ghosted out hood in Caplum has som gud spots. white house wit te green dor has a cool basement."
And "SEND".
Kidney's mouth quirks to the side. "I know I said to make it natural, but are you sure he'll get that?"
Mitchol chokes, "Yeah, I mean, I text him like that often enough."
"I see," Kidney says. Then, the phone buzzes.
"R U THERE NOW?"
"Eh, what should I say?" Mitchol asks.
"If this is a test, you might not be able to answer follow-up questions confirming that you're there. You're at home, got it?"
"nah im chillin in my plce. u out?"
"NO. HOME RUBING1 IN BEEFSLAB+blood I BAWT.CANT HUNT BUT NEed it bad."
"lol. tis Caplum spot wil fix u up. no 1 evr gos der. wnna chekit out togetrr?? jst gimme a time bro."
"nightS YUNG.TERES TIME TO CATCHA WOMAN I LEAVE RN. BETHERE 1HR???"
"frige lvl cool dood XD"
"I didn't say you were supposed to go too," Kidney purrs lowly over Mitchols shoulder. "But, I suppose you can just be 'late.'"
He takes the phone out of Mitchol's hand and re-tightens the ropes. "I can handle Redhand Heriolt from here."
With that, he turns on his heels, clops up the concrete stairs, and leaves me and Mitchol to rot in the bunker.
I look at Mitchol. "Please tell me you just tricked him somehow," I say.
"Shh," Mitchol replies quietly.
A couple of little sparks flare up in my chest and head. If I had the energy, I'd click my tongue. Don't you shush me, bitch. I whispered anyway.
Black silence begins settling down between us, and I close my eyes. The concrete is hard against my body, and I can feel us becoming one via temperature as my warmth seeps away into its cold. I move my lips, and a barely audible, hoarse series of whispers spills from them.
"Mother Earth, Mother Earth, once again to us give birth."
Suddenly, a violent roiling upheaves my stomach, like Poseidon's stormy fist punching the sea in wrath and sending the waters booming and swashing. I projectile vomit all over myself and the floor. The deja vu from my dream hits me first, and then the disgust and embarrassment of real life.
Mitchol jumps, as much as he can tied up anyway. His face is tense with that look of distubia, shock, fear, and concern that I hate directed
at me. "Wha.. are you okay man?"
A suck in a stinging, bile stained breath and respond to him in stench coated words. "No. Fuck... we just... we need to get the fuck out of here."
I lick my lips, and regret pools inside my mouth as my tongue pulls foul bits and cooling, sour fluid back into it.
There's a book of religion that says god will not be mocked and is not to be tested. I suppose I couldn't rightly be of the wombs and births of two different mothers at my own convenience. I never considered myself a man of faith, but this stuff I've been touching-- it seems to be some part of a sprawling realm beyond scientific knowledge.
I look down at myself. The sight of me must be making Mitchol sick, but since I'm already like this... I allow the muscles in my bowels to unfurl like a relaxing kitty, and warm liquid soon soaks my jeans and forms a pool around me.
Yep, this is one thing they don't tell you, at least not often, about being kidnapped. I was living freely up until however many hours ago I was taken, and that meant that I drank coffee and expected to be able to reach a toilet when it made its way through me.
I sigh, and lean over to inhale the merging smells that had all been inside my body. Amazing, how humans are all so disgusting inside, but we act as if we're clean until it comes out. I don't bother to look up at my roommate as I contemplate going number two.
But then I catch my reflection in the puddle of urine, and decide that I have to cancel my reservations with Mr. Brown, because the Train of Thought just arrived, and it only stops at the station for 3 seconds.
The first thing I thought, or perhaps, was told, about Mother Moon was that she was a relayer of the sun's message. And gods... gods... I was just thinking about them. But what do I do about them-- what do humans do about gods? They... sacrifice and serve. Blood, lives... offerings.
"Angel of The Great Star, to you, I unbar. Birth me into the spacial assemblage. Through me, relay the message," I say.
Mitchol again looks at me like I'm insane. Indeed, I've done it incorrectly. If her light cannot touch me, it is pointless. I take in a deep breath, and begin fighting against the ropes around my body harder than I ever fought before. Just a bit, perhaps they're loosening.
If I can just get out of these, I might be able to find a way to force the bunker door open and get outside. And if Mother Moon accepts me, I will be raised above Earth and the Earthlings. I will be 3rd, and they will all be 4th.
In the clearing outside the bunker, Kidney faces the moon and spreads out his arms, letting the glow bathe his body. This pale light can be so many things: ethereal, comforting, serene, eerie... He'd never questioned whose mood it really depended on until recently.
"Mother Moon, Mother Moon..." Kidney trails off, his eyes closed in concentration. But concentration isn't quite right. The chant... the feeling isn't coming over him.
"Mother Moon." He says, more of a plain address than a mystical prayer. "I can see you here tonight, as always. Does it not please you to commune with me right now?"
Gazing up at the white ball suspended in the infinite black cosmos, he ever so slightly feels her grow closer for a moment. However, she remains silent and far.
"On your own terms, Mother Moon." Kidney submits, inclining his head in reverence. Despite everything that has happened, he still feels a little crazy as he walks back to his rental car. He might fit the definition of "lunatic" now.
Kidney drives down the rural road to Caplum. Thousands of spindly, bent trees slash endless shadows through the yellow glow from his headlights. If he were taking the Passage to Hell of the South and met Satan at the end, it might not surprise him. Fitting though, that such a road would be irritatingly monotonous. Bored despite his mission, he flips the radio on.
Unintelligible words and tunes grate through static on most of the channels. Then there's the twang of guitar and a longing voice that reminds Kidney of grass fields swaying under a golden sunset in the middle of a heaven set in nowhere. He never did like country music, so he twists the knob one more click.
A bold, smooth, male voice butters the speakers. "The quiet neighborhood of Green Shade has been shaken by the story of a local housewife. According to her, she was drugged and kidnapped from her home by two masked men, who broke in late at night."
Kidney's heart lurches inside of his torso, along with the food in his stomach. He gags, swerving into the wrong lane for a second. After everything they-- Jeeto-- had told her, Mrs. Horatay was still talking?
The deep voice coming through the speakers crinkles with static. "...underground bunker. They then proceeded to film themselves sexually and physically assaulting her. The woman reports that at various points during the hours-long ordeal, both of her assailants lifted the masks away from their mouths and exposed the bottom portions of their faces."
Kidney's head swims with nausea. He never saw so much as a coin for getting that damnable spasm closeup. The footage of the actual stimulation was cut, he was sure. He'd been the one to edit Mrs. Horatay's movie. But somehow it had escaped his mind that Mrs. Horatay could be looking down, drawing a sketch in her mind for the cops.
"Both attackers appeared to be young males, in their late teens or early twenties. She describes them to be of average height, the shorter of the two having a round face and lightly tanned complexion, while the taller male's face was square shaped. She noted no hair or distinguishing blemishes on either of their faces, however..."
Kidney's hands tremble on the steering wheel, but he forces himself to focus on driving. "Relax. There's gotta be a hundred guys that fit those descriptions around here," he mutters to himself.
After a small eternity, Kidney spots a sign that humanity had come here ahead of him. "SPEED LIMIT 45" in faded black over rusted white. He slows down, guides his rental car into the overgrown brush on the side of the road, then takes the key out of the ignition.
With the engine dead, it's so quiet out here. Kidney pulls on his new black burglar's mask before getting out, just in case. He gently pushes the door closed behind himself, then goes around to the trunk.
A bag of supplies he packed from Jeeto's house is inside, and he unzips it and pockets from it a syringe of animal tranquilizer and a switchblade. The weapon he chooses to keep equipped in hand, however, is the 16-inch machete he brought himself.
Kidney begins his stalk up the road. Even in this dark place with the shadows of the bushes staring at his exposed back, he can feel Mother Moon's light clothing him and guiding his footsteps. Krin's innocently smiling face in the sunset of his room... such a distant memory kept so close to his heart. He clenches the hilt of his machete. He will not be afraid.
Mother Moon's warmth and comfort begins to seep all through him, and he senses her closer than before. The neighborhood comes into view. So he stays low and hidden as he makes his way to the west-most side where that white house is supposed to be. He sees the car before the house. It's a van that only breaks creep convention for its having a green paintjob instead of a white one.
Suddenly, a something like a living memory possesses his mind, only, something is not right. He finds himself looking at himself from behind, his black, hooded form crouching down behind bushes. One of his meaty arms is outstretched, and the hand is holding something, shiny, cold, and heavy. It's a gun-- pointing.
The head that he has an intimate awareness of, but not a oneness with, turns furthur downward without command. He sees white hairs in the bottom of his vision, and the stomach below protrudes too far forward. It is covered with a green Hawaiian shirt.
Kidney gasps, and seems to be sucked back into his own mind again. "Stoulfer," he breathes. Instinctively, Kidney whirls around on his ankles and spins up from the ground. The blast of the bullet rings the air, and Kidney feels it whip past his head and break through the dry shubbery behind him.
The moonlight makes depthless pits of the bags under Uncle Stoulfer's eyes, and carves darkness into every wrinkle and pockmark on his skin. The hairs of his white mustache and goatee twitch.
The old man's deep, raspy laugh mocks him. "I always knew you'd end up givin' me trouble."
Kidney runs for one of the houses. He can hear the many voices of his uncle's mind echoing. The thoughts are so muddled, though, and examined all at once, they're like a wild drove. Irritation. Lust. Smugness.
But the foremost thoughts-- those are the thoughts of action. That is where Kidney puts his focus. The gun fires again, but Kidney knows where it has made its path, and dashes out of its aim just as the trigger is being pulled.
"Shit! Pretty quick on his toes," Kidney hears.
"Got lucky there," Uncle Stoulfer hollers.
Kidney crashes through the rotting, wooden front door of a house, and runs into a bedroom in the back. He stands to the side of the doorway and listens to the floorboards at the entrance creak. Inside, Stoulfer's thoughts sound like mumbling, for only weak, pale streaks of moonlight penetrate the dark building through broken windows and cracked roofing.
Kidney can sense with the stronger rays of light touch the old man's balding head, because those are the moments he can hear more clearly.
Uncle Stoulfer plans to check behind the kitchen counters first, then... Kidney clenches the machete handle and raises the weapon. When Stoulfer comes here, he will strike.
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bluebeetle · 7 years ago
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truly the best way to bond tbh. im pretty sure its how most of the class bonds?? 
actually, sorta unrelated but: people tend to portray kirishima-mina-denki as the Bakugo squad sorta like how izukus main friend circle is todoroki, iida, and ochako, lets be real here. that is not bakugo’s friend circle. its Good Guy Kirishima’s friend circle. he just lets bakugo in bc hes a gay with bad taste. and i think we all need to stop lying to ourselves ok. they dont band together bc they like bakugo, they put up with him bc they like kirishima.  hes a good bean.
possibly?? i havent read all the extras bc some of his comments are.... hm...... but i wouldnt be surprised. a lot of characters changed. 
yeah i dont HATE that mido got a quirk since he still has to fight to catch up and has all these troubles they dont have and all but yeah it woulda been interesting if he did this without one and just his smarts, and be super compelling and really hit in a theme of what makes a hero even more!!!
its not. even people on hell site tvtropes think bakugo needs to get actually like. comeuppance for his actions and give mido a legit apology.
hgdgh i didnt realise that about aizawa but boy that comment about realising momo is 15 but still drawing her Sexie Tig Biddie hgfudghf guh. and its like. theres nothing wrong with a jerky character, even one who doesnt always get consquences for their actions, but they need to get SOME or at least be fun. hes not usually a fun jerk bc u see the real effect he has on mido and its. bad. hes awful. and i think it says a lot about the writing if no stain-endeavour comparison is amade to bakugo (ie not very self reflective)
YEAH like if people did love and excuse everything he did CONSTANTLY or ship him with Mido bc uwuw childhood friends wuwu rivals wuwu hot yaoiz (ignoring Mido’s like, 5 gfs and bfs: todoroki, iida, tsuyu, ochako, shinsou, and honestly any other student u wnna throw in there) ((at least tododeku is more liked thank god))
AND HE DID ugh the asshole characters do that more than they should (kanda from dgm won TWICE--hes not as bad but i always thought he was boring and unnecessarily mean and brooding until he got backstory and chilled out. now i love him)
then again--in the first pop. poll Mineta got higher than Tomura. Fucking. MINETA. Higher than tomura, who yeah, had few apperances at the time, but at least hes cool and not  m i n e t  a 
but got long story short bakugo needs to learn to be a better person. and not be babied. 
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everythinghskin-blog · 8 years ago
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hi, it’s rose again, i just realized i’ve asked y'all for multiple aesthetics for me and my bro and wnna post a canon call? i
was rose, i dated kanaya, i think i flirted with terezi and vriska (who were also dating) a lot, i was super close with dave, dave karkat and john all dated, basically everyone was gay and poly. i think dave and roxy were trans? i was really tiny, 5 feet flat, karkat was either the same height or shorter. dave was probably about 5'6? john was really tall. so was jade. terezi was kinda short, kanaya was tall.
john had a crush on me at one point and while telling me realized he was bi. 
i mostly remember vriska, terezi, kanaya, karkat, and all the humans. i think vriska came on the meteor with us. i had a weird sorta blackrom relationship with her? and terezi. but sometimes it’d be red and even pale. kanaya and i were kinda the Parents of the meteor, and on earth 2.0 we were basically Everyone’s Cool Lesbian Moms. 
dave and i were really close. we’d confide in each other, even before we learned we were siblings, and he’d call me “bro” for some reason. also “dude”. it was kind of a term of endearment from him. i think he was kinda touch starved and tbh so was i so we’d spend a lot of time just…..flopped on top of one another. i’d sit on the couch and write and he’d drape himself across my back and play animal crossing. we’d try to bake together, sometimes with trolls watching us, and we were pretty successful. i couldn’t get the hang of alchemizing apple juice so i tried to learn how to make it myself. 
post meteor, we basically all lived tgether. we were gods, after all, so we had basically a little village with technically separate houses but no one actually paid much attention to it. 
roxy and i became pretty close, we’d call each other “mom” all the time but acted more like sisters. i think she was also trans? she was dating calliope and jane. i accidentally called jane mom once and she threatened to kinkshame me. but she also taught me some actual baking skills so it was cool. 
post game i was a writer. i wrote a lot of lesbian horror novels. 
also dave and roxy and dirk and i were jewish! i was brought up jewish, dave was…vaguely aware of being jewish but didn’t know a lot about it so i taught him, dirk and roxy were left a lot of jewish memorabilia by alpha me and dave but had no idea what it meant. dave and i had mock bar and bat mitzvahs while on the meteor.
i’m mostly looking for kanaya, vriska, terezi, karkat, dave, john, jade, dirk, roxy, jane, and jake. i’m 20, but i’m okay with talking to any age as long as you’re cool with me being a little old. contact me at lakesandquarries (my main) alphyslalonde (my kin blog) eloquentartistry (my skype) or lakesandquarries #9087 (my discord).
sorry for the length of this!!
^^^^
-mod d
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snipec-archived · 8 years ago
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h-helo am I late to the URL party
ᕕ(⌐■_■)ᕗ ♪♬ The party never ends
My Opinion on;
Character in general: I am not very familliar with Saito actually, but much more less indifferent towards him yet absolutely in love with yours and honestly it is reading roleplays that made me intrigued towards him more lolHow they play them: I reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaLLLy enjoy reading the way Vero plays Saito! Besides in my opinion, he is a character that is not appreciated well enough. And I am in love with the way they play himmmmrhmmhhmh and while trying to write something about memes I gigglesnorted on my own, people under same roof probably think I am going nuts finally but that is what Vero’s memes do to me.The Mun: I am shy like every pore of mine oozes shyness out???? I always appreciated them from a far andsfjnvjdj but I used to be intimidated by Vero, while I am just shy now after seeing they are a friendly person ;w;
Do I:
RP with them: NopeWant to RP with them: I rly wnna actually but shinay and saito dont seem like they gona work out so far idfek maybe like an au only but fkdjnsnbjk tragedy
What is my;
Overall Opinion: I am so shy that its embarrassing but im able to admit to my shyness vero ily and i love your art and ily and i love your writing ////////
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