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valkyrieofsmut · 4 years

Text

Kurt’s Mail Order Bride 5

Cowboy!Kurt Wagner (Nightcrawler) x Mutant!OC

Descriptions: Old westAU In about 1900 Germany, Kurt has heard stories about the wild west and dreamt about being a cowboy for a long time. When he’s brought over to America and sent to live with Logan he’s excited, until he learns what hard work a ranch actually is. Logan knows a woman will set him straight from his shenanigans, and brings one back. Kurt hopes for love, but they can’t seem to get along.

A/n- Hmm... Some “saucy” situations in here... well, they’d have ruined reputations in the 1900s, anyway.

Masterlist

Story!

Despite Logan not being happy with her for taking Kurt into town, over the next few weeks, he was more willing to let her take him when she went, as long as Kurt stayed in the back of the covered wagon; out of sight from the other people in town.

Logan was also glad to see that Kurt was doing more around, that his chores were being done by him, and on time, instead of having to cover his part while he laid around moping.

Also making him happy was the fact that Kurt seemed to be getting along better with Beth, and he seemed to be behaving more like a man than the child he had started as.

Kurt grabbed the basket Beth had made them for lunch and the blanket to sit on as he headed to the porch.

The wagon stopped by the front of the house and he climbed in.

“Your lunch is on the counter, Logan, we’ll be back tonight,” Beth told him where he stood on the porch.

Logan grunted and headed inside as she snapped the reins to set the horses in motion. Kurt watched out of the front, leaning out and enjoying the scenery drifting past.

“Where would you like to have lunch?” Beth asked.

“Somewhere with a nice view,” he answered.

They kept an eye out and found a nice spot about a mile from town.

As Kurt laid out the blanket and Beth brought over the food, they started talking. They ate their fill, putting the leftovers back into the basket, and sat around, Beth looking up at the clouds and Kurt gathering long strands of grass.

“I think that one looks like a horse,” Beth said, looking over to Kurt. “Don’t you think so?”

Kurt looked over from the circle he was making, then up to where she pointed. “I don’t see it,” he told her.

She looked back to the clouds and lifted a shoulder. “It must have moved. What are you doing?”

Kurt held up the circle of long grass. “It is a crown, usually they are made of flowers, but there are not much flowers here.”

Beth took it when he handed it to her and looked at it in interest.

“You’ve never made flower crowns before?”

Beth shook her head.

“I thought it was something children did everywhere, especially girls.”

Beth looked up at him with a corner of her lip tilted up. “Well, there’s the problem. I never spent much time with girls. I worked on the ranch with my father and brother, and learned how to run a household from my mother, but I never really spent time with other girls my age.”

“You have a brother?” Kurt asked. “Why didn’t he get the ranch instead of them making you sell it?”

“Had,” Beth corrected. “He… He was a lot like you… Fun loving, energetic…”

“What happened to him?” Kurt asked softly.

“He… he got cholera and passed. Along with my mother…” Beth looked away, back to the clouds. “He was only ten, I was only thirteen… After… My father and I worked the ranch and kept it going, but… He was struck by illness too… a year and a half ago… I worked the ranch alone for the last year, but, it was hard with so much livestock. I ended up selling them off, bit by bit, until I had an amount I could keep. But… The town didn’t think it was proper for a lady to run a cattle ranch, so they made me sell everything…”

Kurt was silent.

She had gone through so much, lost so many loved ones. Running a household at thirteen, and a ranch at, he guessed she would have been twenty-one, since she looked only a year or two younger than him.

No one in the circus had had to do that; there were children, and one or two of them had been orphans, but the circus rallied around them and made sure they were taken care of, just as they did all of the children. No one went hungry, no one was hated, no one was different, except him, and only because he was blue. The others hadn’t given him a hard time about it, either, but he had not been able to go into town with the others, and had had to stay out of the way of visitors so they didn’t turn into a mob.

Kurt looked up at Beth as she stood.

“We should get going, there are rain clouds on the horizon,” she told him, pointing.

Kurt stood and they took their things back to the wagon before climbing in and starting off again.

When they got to town, Beth pulled the wagon over and tied the horses before going out and to the stores.

Kurt watched as Beth made her way down the raised wooden sidewalk to a store and into it. She was wearing one of her normal outfits this time, with a long skirt and long sleeved shirt, but not one that had the too tight bodice and waist that restricted movement.

After a few more minutes, she came back out, and Kurt watched her go to another store. He turned to the back of the wagon, wondering why his heart had jumped at the sight of her.

The sound of slight rain pattered on the covered roof above and Beth was soon climbing onto the wagon and hurriedly untying the small covering that fell forward and covered the buckboard to mostly stop the rain from falling on her.

Kurt looked up at her and settled close behind the buckboard. “We are leaving already?” He asked.

“Yes, it’s going to be trouble to get back through to the ranch if we don’t get ahead of the storm,” she told him.

They set off just as Kurt heard the rain pick up against the roof.

Kurt leaned out through the opening, but leaned back in as the rain splashed back on his face and stray drops flew in from the wind.

“It’s really getting heavy,” he commented, but Beth didn’t seem to hear him over the now raging din of rain.

Puddles were forming on the road and the droplets of rain were hitting and splashing back up, getting the horse’s legs and sides of the wagon muddy and wet.

They were almost to the ranch, scarcely a mile and a half out, when the wagon bumped over the road, then the back slid to the side and sank.

The horses jerked to a stop, whinnying in protest, and Beth nearly flew over the front and down between the horses, but Kurt reached out and grabbed around her waist through the opening in the wagon.

Beth fell back onto the buckboard, eyes wide and breath halting in shock and fear of what had almost happened.

Kurt realized that his arms were still around her, and let her go.

Beth took a deep breath and glanced back at him before blushing and looking away. She turned around the side and tried to stay dry as she looked back at the wheel.

“What’s going on?” Kurt asked.

“I’m not sure,” she answered. “I’ll have to go look.”

“But you’ll get wet,” Kurt protested.

“It can’t be helped,” she said, climbing down. She was nearly immediately soaked, rain dripping down her arms and back as she went toward the back of the wagon.

The wheel had slid about two feet to the side and sank into the mud there, becoming more trapped as the small stream of rain washed more and more mud over and through it.

She hurried back to the front of the wagon and climbed up, sitting down and taking the reins. They snapped over the horse’s backs, and the horses pulled, but the wagon didn’t move. Beth snapped the reins again, and the horses strained, pulling at the wagon, but it still didn’t move.

Beth groaned in frustration. “Kurt, come take these. Have you ever driven a wagon?” She asked, turning to him.

Kurt climbed through the hole and shook his head. “A little,” he told her. “But not anything fancy like turning or parking…”

“That’s ok,” she told him. “Just try to make the horses pull the wagon. I’ll get out and push.”

“Beth, it’s not fitting for a lady to push a wagon,” Kurt protested.

“There’s no point in both of us getting soaked,” she told him. “Besides, I’ve got this,” she pushed out her hand and the rain that came in contact with it was shot sideways.

Beth hopped down and hurried to the back, loving the thought of taking the tub into her room and having a hot bath when they got back. She’d boil the water and climb in when it was just barely cool enough that her skin didn’t start getting blisters.

She got to the back and called for Kurt to start the horses pulling while she stood and pushed out her arm, hitting the back of the wagon to force it forward. The weight of the wagon was too great, letting it stay in the mud filling pothole.

After minutes of rain soaking through her outer dress, and starting through her corset, Beth gave up. She hurried back around to where Kurt was slapping the horses’s backs and trying to get them to pull forward.

“Kurt, stop,” Beth called up to him. “We’ll have to wait for the rain to pass, at least.”

She took the reins from him and unlatched the horses, pulling them off to the side of the road, finding a group of trees and tying them so they were at least a little protected from the pounding rain.

Beth pulled up her skirts, feeling like she was dragging around nearly a ton of wet cloth, and made her way back to the wagon, Kurt’s hand helping her up with the extra weight.

Water dripped down her hair, the heavy mass falling down as it pushed the pins out.

Kurt climbed into the wagon and closed the back flap as Beth followed, hoping to keep the rain out. As he looked back, a puddle was forming at Beth’s feet.

Beth bit her lip and stepped closer to the opening at the front. “Maybe I should stand outside…” She murmured.

Kurt looked up at her and noticed the shivers wracking her shoulders. “Nein, you’re freezing, don’t go out there…”

Beth blinked furiously as the rain tried to drip into her eyes from her hair. “I- I can’t stay in these clothes; I’ll catch my death…” Beth told him honestly, a blush glowing across her cheeks.

The sky outside was darkening by the minute, and Kurt wasn’t sure they’d be able to get out of there at all, with the wagon being stuck, so, he was a little worried about what to do, since they hadn’t prepared for an overnight trip.

“So… I suppose you’ll have to take them off…” He mumbled, his cheeks flushing purple at the thought.

Beth blushed darker, but her shivering body pressed her forward. “Please- turn around,” she asked him quietly.

Kurt turned, listening to her struggle with the soaked fabric, and the heavy squishy thuds as it fell to the floor of the wagon. There was some slapping noises as she moved it around over the edge of the buckboard to dry.

Beth settled her skirt so that it could dry easier, and her shirt was next to it. She peeked out, a last hope for rescue, but there was no one. She shivered as a breeze blew across her, and she looked down at her muddy and ruined stockings. She unlaced and pulled off her boots, putting them in the corner, and gently pulled off the ruined material of her stockings, throwing them over the rest of the clothes; it didn’t matter if anything happened to them now.

Beth glanced over at Kurt, checking that he was still turned around, and quickly loosened her corset enough to unhook the busk and pull it off. She stood it in the corner with her boots to dry and looked around, finding the blanket they’d taken to sit on at the picnic. She shook it out the best she could and wrapped it around herself.

“I suppose I’m as decent as I’ll get until I dry,” she mumbled to let Kurt know he didn’t have to stare at the seams in the canvas anymore.

They sat down, neither sure what to do, and Beth began taking out the few remaining pins from her hair, trying to straighten it the best she could with all of the tangles it had gathered from the rain.

Kurt stood and closed the flap at the front of the wagon most of the way.

“What are you doing?” Beth asked him.

“You’re still shivering,” he answered quietly.

“Oh… Thank you,” she murmured. She’d gotten so used to the shivering by now that she had stopped noticing.

Kurt sat back down by her, watching her unwind her hair.

“Kurt-”

Kurt blushed a little at hearing her say his name out of breath like that. “Ja?”

“Your- your eyes-”

Kurt felt his heart clench. Of course she’d only found something that made him more of a freak. “Ja, they, ah, they are very bright in the dark…”

“I thought so- I mean- that first time I saw you, I thought they were glowing a little,” she told him.

He didn’t say anything, just looked away, and his eyes fell on the basket of food.

“Are you getting hungry?” He asked.

“A bit,” she admitted.

They moved closer to the front of the wagon to see better, and ate a little, but left some for breakfast in the morning.

After they had packed up their food again, they moved to the back of the wagon and settled down.

Kurt laid facing away from Beth, as was proper, covered in a spare blanket they’d found stuffed in a corner. She had wrapped herself up to stay warm, and it was warmer in here now that the flaps were closed, heated from their body warmth and breath, but he could still feel her shivering behind him.

Kurt’s tail snuck closer and wrapped around her.

A moment later, he opened his eyes and stared at the wall of wood and canvas in front of him.

He felt warm enough without the blanket, helped by his fur, but her body was shaking, a gentle but steady shiver.

It was inappropriate, he knew, but Kurt turned over, looking over Beth’s blanketed body. He scooted closer and pulled his blanket out so that it covered both of them, but he had to scoot even closer so that it fully covered them.

He blushed as he felt her body press against his with each breath.

It was like he was holding her close, a hug maybe, or an embrace shared by people who wanted to kiss each other. But he didn't want to kiss her.

…

Did he?

He mentally shook his head.

No, she was so normal and beautiful, why would he want to put his strange, irreverent lips all over her?

And when had he started thinking of her as beautiful?

Wait-

All over her?

Why had he thought that? Did he want to kiss all over her?

A feeling like panic started tightening in his stomach.

Why was he thinking all of these strange and inappropriate things now?

It must be because she was practically against him in this dark space.

It was confusing his mind and body, so much that in the middle of worrying about his thoughts, he started drifting off.

Tag List!

@otakumultimuse-hiddlewhore @racheo91 @tephi101 @lilypalmer1987 @pingu89 @gifsbysimplysonia @omnomsauruswrites @keldachick @Randomfandompenguin @mannls @screeching-student-unknown @lizfawn @ya-lyublu-tebya @their-bibliophile @the-fifth-marauder03 @Jbstans

#Kurt Wagner #kurt wagner x oc #Marvel AU #old west au #nightcrawler x oc #angst #mutant oc #romance #multi part story #X-men #x-men au #Rancher AU #Cowboy!Kurt Wagner #Cowboy!Nightcrawler #valkyrieofsmut #mutual pining

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anotheronechicagobog · 5 years

Note

Can you do one with Severide where he cheats and then tries to win the reader back? Lots of angst

Kelly Severide x Reader Liar Liar Pants on Fire

written by @anotheronechicagobog

warnings: cheating, swearing, mature themes, angst

A/N I hope that you like it! Sorry it took me so long, I’m just always nervous about the stuff I write not being long and/or good enough.

You were finally arriving home after a long, and fucking hard, day. You’d known when you chose to enter STEM in college that you’d be dealing with a ton of sexism, but right now you were exhausted. After graduating with a double major in computer programming and biochemistry, you accepted a job at Chicago PD in the crime lab. And today was awful because your lovely co-worker Manon was on vacation for the week and substitute, Jimmy, was incredibly sexist. He couldn’t go thirty seconds without making a remark, mansplaining, undressing you with his eyes, and belittling you. It took all your strength to not cave in his skull. You just wanted to eat something to fill the hole in your stomach, and curl up in bed with your boyfriend Kelly. When you entered the apartment you shared with him and Shay something felt off. You heard loud moans of pleasure coming from upstairs, you assumed they were coming from Shay and her new lover Andrea. Even though you were slightly annoyed at the fact that you’d have a harder time falling asleep with those sounds surrounding the apartment. Your feeling of apprehension remained but you had no idea why. You decided to reheat some leftovers, once you finished the front door opened to reveal one Leslie Shay. You looked at her in shock as that feeling in your gut hardened. “Les? I thought that you were upstairs, with Andrea...”

“... No, I just came back from a movie night with Gabby and Casey, Kelly was supposed to come too, but he bailed at the last minute. I thought he was with you. Who’s upstairs? They’re really going at it.”

“I don’t know. As I said, I thought it was you and Andrea...”

“Did you just get back?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you think someone broke in just to have sex?”

“Honestly, I’ve seen crazier things come through my lab. Let’s go deal with this.” You and Leslie marched up the spiral staircase and burst through the door to your and Kelly’s room armed with a rolling pin and frying pan. What you were met with was not two strangers taking advantage of someone else’s bed, but Kelly naked on top and inside of a brunette you didn’t recognize. They were too... wrapped up in each other to notice you two at first. You and Leslie were too much in shock to react either once the both of you realized who was doing who. It was after they both came that they noticed you. Kelly rolled off of her and noticed you and Leslie standing armed at the door. “Ah! Shit! Fuck! Y/N, I can explain!” He was hurrying to separate himself and making sure he was covered up. You lowered your rolling pin and placed it on the dresser. YOUR dresser. That you shared with Kelly. “Alright,” you said slowly and restrained, letting a quiet and calculated anger flow through you “explain.” Kelly sat there blinking, opening and closing his mouth. “Well, you said you can explain so explain.”

“I uh... Don’t really... I didn’t think you’d actually let me- I didn’t think I’d get this far...”

“UNBELIEVABLE YOU MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF SHIT! HOW DARE YOU TREAT Y/N THIS WAY!” Then Leslie turned to the girl still lying on your bed’ wrapped in your sheets, making eyes at your boyfriend. “WHAT IN THE EVER-LOVING FUCK ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE?! DO YOU NOT REALIZE YOU SLEPT WITH SOMEONE’S BOYFRIEND?! GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT!” Leslie screaming with steam coming out of her ears made the woman jump in gear, forgoing her bra and underwear and just grabbing her dress from the floor, throwing it on, and trying to grab her stuff and catch her things that Leslie was throwing at her. When Leslie and the severely underdressed woman were out of the room you turned to Kelly with tears streaming down your face. “It’s over, Kelly. I’m going to go stay at my mom’s, I’ll come to get my stuff tomorrow, please don’t be here.”

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Your mom had been sympathetic, she welcomed you with open arms and tubs of your favourite ice cream. She’d wrapped her arms around you and cooed promises to string Kelly up by his toes.

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FOUR AND A HALF YEARS LATER

“Honey, I’m home.” Your boyfriend sang out in a joking manner, you two had an Iron Man marathon last night since Tony Stark is Connor’s favourite Marvel character. “Haha, how was dinner with your sister?”

“Good. It went really well, I don’t think I can thank you enough Y/N, for convincing me to try to work on my relationship with her, I didn’t realize how much I missed her. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“How was your day?” Connor poured two glasses of wine knowing full well that you would be ranting and raving about being ignored, underappreciated, and underpaid. You loved your job, you really did, but that didn’t mean that it didn’t have its cons. Once you finished your long rant and took the last sip of wine, you noticed Connor looking at you with a gentle intensity. “Connor?”

“Y/N, there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you... I have tried writing a speech so many times and... I just haven’t been able to capture all of the right words. I’ve been wanting to ask you for months and I don’t think I can bear to put it off any longer. Y/N I love you so much and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, have kids, cats, grandkids and grow old together. So Y/N will you marry me?” Connor had moved off the couch and was kneeling in front of you, a modest ring being held in between his nervous fingers. You looked him deep in the eyes and set your glass down, you put your hands on both sides of his face. “Yes.”

“Really?”

“Yes! I love you so much and I can’t with to grow old with you too.” While both of you were smiling like fools he gently slid the ring onto your finger before leaning in to kiss you and you could feel the love and joy beaming out of your hearts.

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It took less than ten minutes for the entire station to find out you got engaged. You didn’t mind, really, you just didn’t want anyone upset that all the work wasn’t done because people kept coming by to congratulate you. Hailey walked into your office for the second time that day, the first time being to see if Platt was right and that you had a ring on your finger, this time however you could tell something was wrong. She had a dark look on her face and didn’t have any evidence with her for you to test. “Hailey? What’s up?” She sighed and gave you an annoyed smile. “There was a fire at the scene, so Truck 81 and Squad 3 were there, while waiting on the sidelines Adam and Jay were gossiping about your engagement pretty loudly, Severide overheard. He didn’t react well. Sorry.”

“Don’t be, Hailey, we all work and hang out in pretty close circles, he was bound to find out.” You shrugged and continued typing up your report for the evidence from a case Intelligence solved the other day. “He still loves you Y/N, I think you should be prepared for him to-”

“Profess his love, tell me I’m making a mistake, beg me to take me back? Yeah, he’s done all that already. He cheated on me, I left him, but he couldn’t let me go.” You sighed and stopped typing on your computer for a moment and saw Hailey smile sympathetically at you. She reached for your hands and squeezed.”Want to go get lunch?”

“Sorry, Hailey, I’m getting lunch with Claire and Connor. We want to be the ones to tell her rather than her finding out from someone else. After I’m meeting with Leslie quickly to ask her to be my maid of honour.”

“Good idea.”

“I was wondering, though, Hailey, if would you be a bridesmaid?”

“Yes! Y/N you are going to have the best bachelorette party ever!” The mood in the room suddenly became joyful, filled with sounds of excitement and happiness.

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THREE MONTHS LATER

You were buried up to your shoulders in wedding plans. Neither you nor Connor realized how much planning had to go into a wedding. Currently, you, Connor, Leslie, Hailey, Will, Claire, and Ethan were sitting in your living room with wedding plans strewn around the room. Connor and Claire were working on the guest list. “Do we really have to invite Aunt Tiffany? We haven’t seen her since before mom died and if I remember correctly, she’s a horrible person and we both hate her.”

“I know Connor, but she’s our aunt, and ALL relatives must be invited to your wedding. You will never hear the end of it if some fifth cousin three times removed is not invited.”

“C’mon, Claire, Y/N and I aren’t going to know who most of these people are!”

“Alright then, let’s take a break from our family and work on Y/N’s.”

“You aren’t going to invite all of my relatives, are you? I’m not speaking to half of them because they’re selfish and rude. I really don’t want my dad’s side at my wedding.”

“Sorry Y/N, but we have to invite everyone, but don’t worry, if they’re selfish and rude they’ll fit in well with our family.” Claire smiled at you as you groaned in frustration. You threw the papers from the catering companies on the coffee table and collapsed on the couch. You could feel a headache coming on and just wanted to close your eyes for a minute. A kiss was dropped to your forehead, you knew the feeling of those lips well and didn’t have to open your eyes. “Thanks, Connor.”

“You know I was thinking, what if we had two weddings? One small one that’s just us and the people we love, and a second one that’s large and thrown for the benefit of people we don’t like.” You opened your eyes and sat up. “That’s a good idea.”

“Y/N, Connor, you’re really considering having two weddings? That’s... Actually, yeah that sounds like a good idea. I mean it’s more work, but dad left us a ton of money.”

“How would you handle planning two weddings if you can’t handle planning one?”

“Well, Ethan, since we don’t really care about the second one we could just hire a wedding planner for that one.”

“Well since that’s settled, I’ll order dinner for all of us. Is Lebanese okay?” With a chorus of ‘yes’ from everyone, Connor went to order dinner while everyone shoved the papers into a pile in the middle of the table. When Connor returned Claire sighed. “We still have to plan one wedding, though.”

“Don’t worry about it, Claire. Connor and I can handle it. We just had trouble dealing with how big the wedding had to be, we were changing all of our plans because of it. Now that we’ve decided to have one where we actually get to make the choices we want, it’ll be a lot easier.” You felt Connor hmm an agreement from his spot curled around you. You spent the rest of the evening with your friends who you considered family, talking and laughing, eating good food and feeling loved. Without the stress of a ‘rich people wedding’, as Will had dubbed it, you and Connor felt much more relaxed and happy.

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EIGHT MONTHS LATER

You were tired but happy. The wedding planner you and Connor hired did her job well. She understood completely when you explained that you were going to have two weddings and why. She arranged everything for the big posh events that were expected from Connor and managed to keep your first wedding a secret from those you didn’t want to know. The small wedding that you planned with your fiance was going exactly as you wanted, so far at least. You were finishing getting ready to walk down the aisle. Leslie, Hailey, Claire, along with your mom and grandmother were tearing up. Claire wrapped her arms around you. “You look so beautiful, Y/N, my brother is so lucky.”

“Don’t let Leslie hear you say that, I’ve seen what Les does when she’s jealous.” Claire laughed and took deep breaths to try and stop the happy tears. As you and Claire untangled yourselves and Hailey checked your make-up to make sure it hadn’t been ruined there was a knock at the door. Leslie answered it and let out what could only be described as a feral hiss. Everyone whipped their heads to the doorway to see one Kelly Severide. “I just want to talk to Y/N.”

“How dare you, if you think-”

“Don’t bite his head off Les. Connor invited him. Let him say what he came to, it’s probably just well wishes, right Kelly?” His breathing was rapid, his eyes looked panicked, and you felt every woman in the room including yourself sigh in annoyance. “Y/N I love you, please just-”

“No. Kelly stop. It’s been years since we were together, let me go. I am happy with and I love Connor. Please don’t interfere with my happiness.” Kelly nodded with tears running down his face. “I’ll always love you, and I know that you’ll always love me too.” Kelly stumbled away, causing you to sigh. “Hey, Les? Would you mind telling Will to keep an eye on Kelly? I mean, we told the minister to not do the whole ‘speak now or forever hold your peace’ bit, so we don’t have to worry about that, I just don’t want him to disturb anything.”

“Got it.”

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Hailey had just walked down the aisle, which meant that in a moment, it would be your turn. You took a deep breath and let your excitement explode on your face. You saw the heavenly way Connor was looking at you and felt the aisle was too long, keeping you from him. When you finally got to the end you handed off your bouquet to Leslie and stood facing Connor. “Hi.”

“Hey.” There was a small round of chuckles from the bridesmaids and groomsmen. “Friends, family we have all come together today to watch Connor Rhodes and Y/N Y/L/N in marriage.” You focused on Connor’s face, the minister’s words became a blur, only bringing you back to reality when they said “The bride and groom have written their own vows, so let us hear their words of love” They gestured for Connor to go first, he smiled softly and began to speak. “Y/N, when we first met, you knocked me on my ass. Literally. You were rushing to get out of our favourite cafe and while trying to dodge other people, barrelled straight into me. You ended up spilling your coffee all over the floor, right next to where I was sitting on the ground. I remember looking at you and just being in awe of you. Of the way you carried yourself, how you handled the situation, and how you knocked me down without a fight, which is something that I like to think is particularly hard to do. When I asked for your number and you actually gave it to me, I felt like I’d been handed a meddle, and while it was a bit confusing at the time, it makes so much sense now. You are the most intelligent, kind, loving, strong, terrifying person I know. You fit with me in a way no one ever has and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Suddenly you both saw commotion coming from the groom’s side, everyone turned to see Jay and Voight subtly restraining and silencing Kelly Severide. He struggled against them and looked at you with desperate, pleading eyes. You repressed the urge to march over there and slap him. You and Connor turned back to each other, your observations having taken place in three seconds. “And now for Y/N’s vows.”

“Connor, you make me so happy. I don’t want to consider a life that doesn’t have you by my side. I remember our first date, and I am so grateful that Leslie was able to talk to you at the hospital and intercept your original plans. I don’t think we would have gotten where we are now if you had actually taken me to the frufru restaurant in a limo and then renting out an art gallery. And so instead you took me to a family-owned Lebanese place and then to a board game bar. We started with Operation, because it’s one of my favourites, and you were terrible at it which is ironic because you’re, you know, a surgeon.” everyone in the room laughed. “That night was the best I’d had in a while. You made me smile and laugh and you’ve kept doing that since. I love you with every fibre of my being and I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“Beautiful, without further ado, I with the power vested in me by the state of Illinois, pronounce you husband and wife, you may now kiss!” A loud cheer came from all your friends and family as Connor swept you into a grand, loving kiss.

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At the reception, you felt like you were walking on clouds. Your first dance with Connor had been slow and warm with the sound of John Legend mixed with Connor’s heartbeat encompassing you. It had been three hours and you still couldn’t stop smiling. Connor was dancing with your mom while you chatted with Claire. “Y/N you and my brother look so happy. It’s just so heartwarming to see.”

“That means so much Claire. I know-”

“Atnmentition evey- everyone! I ha- have somating to sa- aaaay” A completely wasted Kelly Severide was standing on stage with the DJ drunkenly slurring into the mic. “Oh hell.” Everyone had stopped what they were doing and turned to watch the spectacle he was making. “I lo- lobe lobe-” He turned and threw up on the stage just as you made your way over to Connor. Antonio and Voight made their way over to Kelly and started to carry him off the stage and out of the reception hall, Kelly was crying and making reaching motions for you. You just shook your head and sighed. “Well, at least that happened at the end and not the beginning of the night.” Connor was trying to cheer you up and it worked. “You’re right, besides I think it’s time for us to leave for our honeymoon anyway.”

“Definitely.” After thanking everyone for coming you got changed into a more comfortable and travel-friendly dress you met with a beaming Connor in the middle of the dance floor. You were both smiling like fools as you made the way through the crowd of people you loved most in the world and into the car that was going to take you to the airport. As you were driving away you caught sight of Kelly lying on the curb while some of the guys were trying to coax him into the back of a car. You just turned away and kissed Connor, smiling into him. Even when you heard Kelly screaming your name, you didn’t look back. Just continued to cuddle gaze into the eyes of the love of your life.

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svtmatokis · 6 years

Text

Laughter in warmth

[Pairing]: Joshua Hong x reader

[Word count]: 3667

[Summary]: You're meeting up with Joshua for the first time in a long time. The threat of distance is something that may tear you apart.

[Masterlist]

____

When you arrived at the summer house, you were beyond excited. You haven't seen Joshua in so long since he became an idol, and this summer you were going to have him all to yourself. Along with a few of his friends of course. The summer breeze and the smell of pine made you reminisce about summers past, when you hung out with Josh the most. The sun was setting somewhere in the distance, and it made you feel that it was going to be a pretty good night for you. You knocked on the door a few times, and was greeted by the man himself. You rushed into his arms and squeezed him tight, almost knocked him over with all your weight. It didn't really matter, since you were too excited to really care about that. Words were coming out like vomit, telling him how much you missed him. You realized he was probably getting air cut off by your body. You pulled away from him, slightly blushing.

"If you missed me that much, we should have done this sooner." he said, closing the door.

"Yeah, skype calls at like 3 am your time was never enough." you said, squeezing him one last time.

Joshua guided you to the living room, where a few members of Seventeen were watching television. You recognized them as Seungcheol, Seungkwan, Jeonghan, and Dokeyom. They saw you and stood. They all introduced themselves in their best english. You were flattered that they were trying so hard for you. You were glad you hung out with Joshua so much in your youth that you were able to pick up on Korean, and even learn a bit on your own, since you were studying to become a translator in school.

"Hello, I'm Joshua's friend." you said in fluent korean, with a bit of an American accent, "I'm a really big fan."

They all looked taken aback that you were actually fluent in korean. You saw Jeonghan let out a sigh and Seungcheol chuckle a bit at the whole situation. You had to stifle a laugh.

"Hey Coups." you said, giving him a hug.

You knew him from Joshua's Skype calls, butting in sometimes. Joshua could literally not make him leave at all during skyping time if he wasn't already doing something else or, at the very least sleeping.

"It's nice to meet you all." you said with a polite bow and a formal tone. "Oppa, can we go get my bags from the front?"

"Ah, sure.." Joshua answers, following you back to the entrance.

"Oppa?" he questioned, picking up your bag.

You went to go sock him in the shoulder. "I panicked, okay?" You switched to English.

He held the place you hit.

"You hit harder than I remember." he said, slightly chuckling.

"Well, I mean we are adults now. It isn't high school anymore, you know." you said, walking behind him. "You've certainly grown since then. Broader shoulders, you're a few inches taller, you've grown into your ear- well not really."

He stopped. "What're you trying to say?" he said, turning around to face you.

"I mean that your ears are too big for you, dumbo." you said, laughing.

Before Joshua could retort, you heard his mom call for you in the kitchen. you made your way in, and saw that she was preparing dinner for you all.

"I knew that was you. Come here." She said, arms wide.

You indulged her, giving her a huge hug.

"We literally saw each other last week." you said, pulling away from her.

"Well-" Joshua started.

"Josh, I love you, but if you say that a week is a long time I'm literally going to stuff these biscuits into your esophagus and make you choke."

He feigned fear, holding his heart and gasping. You pushed him and grabbed your bag.

"Okay, where am I staying?" You asked.

"Go with Shua, He'll show you."

He led you upstairs to a room that looked way too nice to be real.

"Man, this may be the best room I've ever bee able to stay in." you said, staring in awe.

"Yeah, It's really nice. It's a miracle we found this place." Joshua said, noticing your awe. "Well, get comfy up here, I'll come up here when dinner is ready."

When he left, You decided to take off your shoes and change into another more comfortable shirt. You were listening to some kpop while you were changing, and as soon as the chorus of Gfriend's 'Naveillra' came, Joshua walked in, getting an eyeful of you dancing in a bra and shorts. He didn't know whether to be embarrassed or amused at the current situation. He quickly turned his head away from you, cheeks dusting with pink. You quickly pulled your shirt down and turned off the music.

"Uh, is dinner ready?" you asked, face red.

"Y-yeah, come on down." Joshua said, his head now turned towards you.

You both made your way down the stairs, not making conversation or eye contact at all. When you arrived at the diving room, you both made your way to the two vacant seats, right by each other. The two of you didn't speak to each other, instead making conversation with other people around the table. You all spoke in Korean so that everyone could feel included.

"So, what about that boy you've been going out with?" Joshua's mom asked.

The boys at the table oohed and ahhed at this sudden change of topic.

"Well, he was nice." you said, picking at your food. "W-When I, um, got to know him better he's not really the guy for me.” You were stuttering and stopping, you knew. Joshua didn’t know about the boy, and you were scared of his response.

“I had to, uh, cut it off with him a few days ago... I hated to do it, but-"

"It's okay, you don't have to say anymore." Joshua whispered into your ear, stopping your rambling.

He knew that you were bad at talking when the spotlight was on you, and he hated to see you struggle with a language that wasn't your mother tounge. He was a bit sad that you didn’t tell him about this boy you were dating, but let it go for the time being.

You relaxed a bit, started to laugh along with everyone else and got in on telling funny stories about Joshua.

"You should hear about the time he fell into the lake-"

"That's enough talking for today, how about we go to bed everybody?" Joshua exclaimed. not wanting you to talk more about that very embarrassing summer. You fake yawned.

"Sure,” you said, a mischievous look on your face, “Mudmonster."

He gave you a light push and you burst out in bubbling laughter. When dinner was finished, you helped with dishes while Joshua and Seungkwan swept and put away all the leftovers.

"How about a movie?" Jeonghan asked, walking in and leaning on the doorframe.

"Sounds good. We'll pick a movie after everyone cleans up, yeah?" Joshua's mom said.

You all agreed in some way, and soon you were all clean and sitting around in the living room with some type of snack in your hands. You sat by Joshua on the couch, both snuggled up in a huge blanket. You both made jokes during the movie that turned into quiet flirting as the time went on. As you got comfortable, Joshua's arm over your shoulder and you leaning on him turned into the both of you basically cuddling on the loveseat. Nearing the end of the movie, mostly everyone was asleep, and your snack supply was nearly gone. You went into the kitchen, Joshua falling close behind. You were both still throwing playful insults at each together. You grabbed a tin of cookies from a cabinet and started to tease your friend.

"If you keep insulting girls like this you'll never get one."

"I could get one any time, anyplace."

"You literally have no lady skills, how could you say that?"

"I'll have you know that tons of fans think I'm cool, maybe even sexy."

"Sexy? You?" You said as you both made your way back into the hallway, "I don't think so."

Suddenly you were pushed up against the wall, Joshua's hand softly gripping your chin.

"Are you sure about that?" he asked in a low, breathy voice.

A shiver went down your spine at the sound. His thumb came up to your bottom lip, gently swiping. Your gaze went to his lips, and his fell down to yours. He leaned in, about to press his soft lips against yours. They found the corner of your mouth instead. You stared at him in discontent.

"I'm sorry, It wouldn't be fair to you." he said, touching your lip once again, keeping you pinned.

You breaths were now shallow as you spoke. "Is it bad that I want you to kiss me right now?"

"Yeah." he said, pulling away from you. He made his way into the living room, and you were stuck there, in the dimly lit hallway, a cookie tin in your hand, with one question in your mind.

Why?

Instead of going back to sit with the others, you decided to go to your room and think. You settled on top of the comforter, laying down and facing the ceiling. Joshua liked you. If he didn't he wouldn't have treated you like he did in the hallway. You didn't want to avoid him, not at all. You really did like Joshua, but what was the whole “it wouldn’t be fair to you”thing all about?

Before you could finish that thought, you were drifting to sleep, the tin of cookies still in your grasp.

___

When you woke up, you went downstairs to see if anyone else was awake. It didn't seem like anyone was, not at this hour. You snuck in the kitchen and looked around, seeing if there was any pancake mix or some meat anywhere. You found what you were looking for, and went to work on making some pancakes and bacon. Halfway through your cooking session you heard heavy steps coming to the kitchen. You turned the stove to low and turned around to see Seungcheol.

"Mm, Morning?" He said, stretching. "You making breakfast?"

"Yeah. Help yourself to what I've already made."

Before you could turn back around, he pulled you in for a hug.

"Thaaannkk yoou." Cheol said politely, giving you a squeeze.

"You're welcome, now get off me, the pancakes are burning."

He quickly jumped away from you just to see that there were no pancakes even on the stove. He gave you a look that made you giggle the tiniest bit.

"Are you saying that you don't like my hugs?" He asked, a mischievous look on his face.

"Maybe. Would that be bad?" you said, acting innocent.

Suddenly you were pulled in for a huge hug. It caught you off guard for sure.

"I'm really glad I got to meet you." he whispered, "Joshua doesn't know how much a treasure he has."

"What does that me-"

There was a cough from the doorway. Joshua was there. He was expressionless, and it made you a little uncomfortable. Seungcheol slowly let you go and went to go grab a plastic plate. Joshua must have seen how uncomfortable you looked, because his face quickly turned to a tight smile.

"It smells good in here, what are you making?" he asked, walking over to the stove.

"Pancakes and sausage." you said tentatively.

"Ah, yes, The most American breakfast." Cheol joked from the island. As bad as it was, it made you slightly grin.

"Shut up, scoop.”

"S.Coups!"

Joshua couldn't help but smile genuinely whenever you did. He grabbed a plate and filled it, going to go sit with Seungcheol. Soon, the others walked in and you all had your fair share of food. When Joshua's mother saw you making breakfast for everyone, you could see her eyes sparkle.

"My baby is growing up so fast!" she said, giving you a hug and thanking you for the food.

"Man, You would've thought you were my mom with all this talk." You giggled.

"Not yet."

"What was that?"

"Nothing! How about we all go to the pool after we finished eating?"

That's just what you did. After breakfast was finished, you all went and did your morning routines and put on a swimsuit.

Soon, everyone but yourself was in the pool, playing around. You also made your way outside, amazed at the sight in front of you. Five beautifully golden boys playing in a pool five feet away.

"Wow, I must be in a dream." you said, staring at the boys in front of you.

"Hey, why are you wearing that cover up?" Seungkwan asked, stopping his splashing. "Come in and play!"

You ignored how he addressed you in an informal tone and took off your cover-up to reveal a black one piece. It wasn't very revealing. It was just a generic black swimsuit with long sleeves, but it seemed to make one boy in particular stare at you. Joshua's gaze was practically burning into your skin, but you made your way into the water anyway. You waded over to him and threw some water in his face.

"What are you looking at, perv." you said, splashing water in his face repeatedly.

He pushed water in your direction, and soon it was an all out water war. Somewhere along the way you all found water weapons, and Joshua's mom had to go in so she wouldn't get caught in the crossfire. You were now on the edge of the pool, shooting people with a water gun. Suddenly you were pushed into the water. You looked up from the blue, and saw Joshua there, standing victorious. You quickly grabbed his ankle and pulled him in as well, laughing when he came up sputtering water. He grabbed you by the waist and puled you down in the water, coming up just a few seconds later.

"Joshua, let me go!" you yelled, laughing with him. Soon you were being paraded around the pool being carried wedding style by your friend. The other's laughed at the sight. Soon you all were done playing and were just lounging in and around the pool. You decided that it was time to get out since you were pretty pruny at this point. You grabbed a towel and dried yourself off, going inside the house to take a shower.

When you finished, you put on some basketball shorts and a baggy shirt. You opened the door, about to make your way downstairs when you bumped into a familiar frame. You looked up and saw Joshua.

"What is it?" you asked, stepping back a few inches.

"We're eating lunch downstairs."

You followed him out of your room.

Lunch was uneventful since you decided to watch the kitchen's small television instead of talking. Once you were done, You all went into the living room and decided to watch more television together. It soon turned to night, and you got a great idea.

"How about tonight we make it a sleepover? With games and stuff?" you asked once Joshua's was out for the night.

"Sounds fun!" Soekmin exclaimed, looking excited

Soon you all gathered some pillows and blankets on the floor and started to play games. You started with never have I ever, and moved over to truth or dare. It wasn't until Seungkwan did his third dare when you started to get a bit flirty with Joshua. The boys were certainly helping you out.

"Okay, your turn." Jeonghan said to you, his eyes having a bit of a mischievous glint in them, "Truth or dare?"

You thought for a bit. Which would be more exciting? A truth or a dare?

"Dare." you finally decided. You've been picking truth all night, it was time for a tiny change.

"I dare you to...spend seven minutes in heaven with Jisoo."

You grinned form ear to ear, while Josh just groaned. It was getting harder and harder to control himself when the both of you kept getting pushed together.

"You can't just change the game like that." joshua moaned.

"Cmon scaredy cat." you said, getting up and pulling him with you.

Jeonghan found a closet near the front of the house and you both made your way inside. The door closed. You wanted to make a move, do something, but... nothing. It was like you couldn't even lift a finger.

"Uh-"

"Why did you do that last night?" you suddenly asked, wanting answers. You could tell he was trying to think of an excuse, any excuse, but there were none.

"I know you like me, or you wouldn't have done that, so why? Why didn't you just kiss me?"

More silence. You decided to just leave him be, since he wasn't giving you the answers you wanted. When the doors opened at the end of your seven minutes, the other boys were disappointed to find that the both of you were on two different sides of the closet, no evidence on either of you to suggest something happened. You all went back to the living room and played some more. Right when the game got some kind of traction, you decided to try something else.

"Hey, Josh. I need to use the bathroom and I can't remember where it is. Can you come and show me?"

He was a little hesitant but said yes, and the both of you excused yourselves. you walked out of the room. Joshua followed right behind you, making your way down the hallway to the bathroom. Before you got to the door, you pulled Joshua aside and pushed him against the wall.

"W-What-"

You shut him up by putting your lips on his cheek. He looked at you in shock.

"Joshua, I like you." you said, smiling shyly up at him.

He gave you a small smile and grabbed your hands from beside his head and put them in his. Joshua's grip was not tight at all, instead almost nonexistent, like he thought he was going to crush your hands. He looked down at them, his smile forming into something more forlorn and dispair-like. His thumbs swiped at your knuckles.

"We can't do this." he said, taking his hands away from yours and starting to pull away from you entirely.

"Why?" you asked, stopping him from walking away.

"We just can't." he said, pulling out of your grasp and starting back to the main room.

You were left in the same spot again, leaning against a wall with your thoughts swirling around in your head.

____

It was the third day at the summer house, and you were certainly tired of Joshua's attitude. You spent two days basically avoiding the main problem, but you were not going to do that again. When you woke up, you did your morning routine and went directly to Joshua's room to confront him. You angrily knocked on his door, and you were met by Joshua. When he saw you, a tired smile graced his face.

___

"Hi." he said, giving you a small, sleepy wave.

You pushed him into the room, closing the door behind you. You kept pushing him until he fell onto the bed, you on his lap. This woke him up entirely. He put his hands up to push you off him, but you weren't having it. You pinned his hands beside his head, and there was panic written all over his features.

"W-We can't do this okay? I know you kissed me yesterday b-but this is where I put my foot down-"

"That's not what I want." you told him seriously.

This seemed to calm him down. You got off of him and sat beside him instead.

"All I want is for you to listen to what I have to say, and give me some answers."

Joshua nodded his head.

"Listen. I like you. A lot. I told you this last night."

"But-"

"Shut up, ok? Anyway, you can't keep playing with me like this. You can't just try and kiss me one minute, then say you don't want me, or we can't go on. Why are you doing this? "

Joshua sighed.

"I can't be the guy you deserve. I can't be there when you need me. I'm only in America for this week, then I have to go back to Korea. Even if you did live somewhere in Seoul, I'd be too busy to even try and come see you. We hardly even do skype calls now. I'd only continue to not be there for you and make you wait for me and I'd hurt you, and you're too good of a woman for that."

You thought about it and decided that yeah, Josh was right. But that didn't mean that you couldn't treasure the time you had together, right?

"Even so...Can we at least enjoy together now that we're together in the same place at the same time?"

He knew it would hurt when he had to leave, but maybe he could show his feelings for you and show you what you could've been. He gave you a tight hug, gripping on your shirt. When you pulled away, you saw him smiling brighter than you've seen since you got to the summer house. His gaze suddenly fell from your eyes to your lips. You saw him blush a bit. it made you giggle a bit knowing exactly what he was thinking. You went in for the kill. It was only a small peck, but it still seemed to make Joshua blush even more. You swung your leg over to sit on his lap, which made his pink cheeks turn to a red face. You looped your arms around his neck and gave him another quick kiss. You giggled at his shy state.

"What happened to the Joshua who pinned me in the hallway? He was so confident." You teased.

Suddenly, Joshua's hands found your hips, and you were flushed against him. His lips met yours roughly. You quickly caught on and kissed him just as passionately. When you pulled away to catch your breath, you saw Joshua smirk.

"What were you saying about confidence?" He asked cockily.

Before you could kiss the expression off his face, You heard the door open.

"Hey Joshua, we're eating downstai-"

You turned around to see Seungkwan looking at the both of you, horrified.

"Nevermind!" He squeaked, running out of the room and closing the door.

The both of you burst out laughing.

_____

Thank You all for reading! Please don't forget to leave a like and reblog if you liked this and want to see more! ~ Amber

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aviationfiction · 6 years

Text

XXXIII

Autumn Dupont

Have you ever had someone continuously make your dreams come true, whether big or small?

I don’t pride myself on being a superficial or materialistic girl, especially on someone else’s dime or time, and yet as I sit here basking in this moment, I find myself ogling over the man responsible for making it happen rather than all that is happening around me. Despite the amazing Kim Kimble’s fingers being intertwined with my hair as she pulls it into a specific lowered bun that she assured me I’d look stunning in or the powder brush of celebrity make up artist Keita Moore being stroked over my face, my eyes continued to pan back and forth in an effort to follow Dante’s every move around his apartment even though it was more than obvious that he was doing his best to stay out the way of this entire glam situation happening in the middle of his living room. Though neither one of us showcased natural excitement about this renowned event due to bad nerves and his personal disdain towards those who share his last name, his interest in making sure the preparations for myself were precise took precedence over anything else that was supposed to be planned for this evening. Stacey placed herself in charge of putting together this costly glam squad though I protested against it and of course, he financed it without a single question asked or a concern about the possibility of her going overboard with all of it. If it were up to me, I would have gone to my usual hairstylist in Brooklyn and sat in front of the mirror in his bathroom applying my own make up. She used an excuse of supporting black business by hiring Kim and Keita but I’m a million percent sure their actual celebrity clientele needs their presence far more than I do. Though discomfort filled my core at their acknowledgement of who I am, I’m still a nobody and I damn sure don’t want to be known for who I used to be involved with. The less people who knows about and associates me with that, the better.

“You’re nervous. Why?” She’d been watching my hand and the fist I kept it clench into, to control the faint tremor. As her body relaxed on the couch with her lean legs daintily crossed at the ankles, I glanced at my mother as she calmly flipped through a Harper’s Bazaar magazine while awaiting the hair and make up process to be over. She arrived to Dante’s apartment just as it all began and offered just a bit of her motherly input as she looked on in anticipation of seeing me in the gown I chose for the evening. She refused to miss this though I continued to assure her that it’s not that big of a deal. As soon as the words Zac Posen spilled from my lips, she urgently asked for Dante’s address and gave me a specific time for her arrival. Her prompt nature didn’t fail to meet the time.

“I’m going to walk into a room full of people who I don’t know and that type of thing always makes me nervous. I’m a creature of habit often time, so I wouldn’t necessarily call myself a social butterfly. It’s why I don’t have too many friends in the first place.”

“Oh I know that, but you’ve also never been the type of person to allow that to hold you back from anything. Don’t let it start now. Sure, you’ll be in a room full of people you aren’t familiar with, but you know who you are and that’s the most important aspect of tonight and any other night when you’re in the midst of situations like this. Additionally, you’ll be with the man you love. Sounds like a great time to me either way.” She can make the toughest obstacle challenge sound like the most facile victory if you listen to her long enough. Her confidence has always bordered on being admirable and unbelievable for me. In the midst of my efforts to tuck myself in some corner to be unnoticed and most of all, unbothered, I’d watch her stand in one spot and have damn near a room full of people gravitate towards her in the snap of a finger. Her presence is prominent and yet it never overpowers my father whether he’s near or far. She’s a leader within her own right and yet she still allows him to be lead in just about everything. In all of the years I lived under their roof, I’ve never once heard or witnessed an argument in reference to a power struggle between the two. If anything, they occasionally bickered about which one of them were being too soft on Isaac, Shane, and myself when we tested their limits.

“I plan to have a good time. I always have an amazing time when I’m out with him.”

“Good. That’s what I want to hear. Everything went well at the doctors yesterday?”

“Yes. All is well.” Typically, I never enjoy doctor’s visits, even if they’re just routine checkups. The anxiety of bad news eats at me like a flesh eating disease and I wallow in pessimism the entire time. That particular timeframe, my anxiety had absolutely nothing to do with the doctors visit and the usual pelvic examination. My relief also didn’t come after I stepped out of the doors and hopped back inside of Glen’s truck. A negative result in a routine pregnancy test ceased the sweat nipping at my forehead and the butterflies tormenting my belly. In a confusing slip up, I missed my appointment to renew my birth control and a few days of an upset stomach and one morning of vomiting took a toll on my mental space far more than it did on my exhausted body. To soothe my panicking, I summed up my bellyaches to the everyday greed for Thanksgiving leftovers. Black people don’t put a limit on how many days those leftovers are to be eaten. We’ll not only eat it until it’s gone, but we also have a tendency to take whatever is left and create new dishes out of them. I certainly did. After a few days of doing that, I began to have an uneasiness and nausea that I could not shake and finally, coming across the reality of that missed confirmation phone call and appointment, I felt like I wanted to combust. I’ve wondered about motherhood many times, but not as much as I did within those few days. Despite the many conversations we’ve had about kids, the thought of a baby ignited a bit of fear within me because not only do I not have my shit together just yet, but I don’t know what kind of a mother I’ll be. And Dante? Dear God. Given his indifference with his family and the journey he’s getting ready to embark on to exit his position at A&M for a move to the West Coast, I can only imagine how bewildered he would have been if I were to blurt out that I have a gut full of human in the midst of all of it. I don’t think he’s in a place to deal with the pressure he already has weighing on his shoulders, in addition to all that comes with me and finally, a baby. I was relieved when that usual negative result casually slipped out in the nurses run down of my vitals. After we’ve jumped the broom, settled in Malibu, and I’ve finally figured out just what the hell I’m going to do with myself, is when I’ll be comfortable with that test result being the opposite.

“How does that feel? Too tight?” Kim stuck yet another pin into my hair and though it slightly grazed my scalp, the tightness of the bun and the way she chose to pin pieces of it hadn’t reached uncomfortable levels just yet. Anything more than this and I’ll be snatching it out before we even leave the venue tonight.

“It’s feels fine. Do you have to put any more pins in it?”

“Nope. That was the last one I needed. I’m just going to do a bit of holding spray and you’re good to go gorgeous.”

“Thank you.”

“Lauren really wanted to be here, but she’s experiencing that first trimester exhaustion. She just messaged me to remind me to take a ton of photos. Your father sends his love. He’s still in D.C. and feeling crappy because he’s going to miss this moment.”

“It’s a gala. It’s not the prom. You two can be so dramatic sometimes.”

“If it’s up to me, I wouldn’t miss anything that you do, my child.” She flipped yet another page of the magazine and finally came across the Gwyneth Paltrow cover story and just like I suspected, she flipped right on past it. If the magazine were in my hand, I too, would have done the same thing.

“I flip through a lot of these magazines and every once in a while I look at red carpet events because I enjoy great fashion moments, but I must say I don’t think I’ve ever seen any celebrity wife or wife period with a ring as gorgeous as yours.” While stretching my fingers out, my engagement ring came into view. I still stare at it like the rarity that it is. I’ve never seen anything quite like it myself and knowing that he designed every single detail about it makes it all the more special. It’s magnitude is a bonus that makes me bashful and nervous because it’s an attention grabber. I wore it to therapy and it became all that everyone could talk about in the waiting room, from the receptionist to the two awaiting patients and Dr. Jill? I believe we spent more than a half an hour of the session just gushing over it and the details of the proposal. All that’s left for me to do is to get over my fear of wearing it around the company. Before I do that, I have to get over my fear of everyone actually knowing about he and I. Privacy has been beneficial to everything that we’ve built thus far and I’m not sure what we’re going to face if we step outside of the bubble that we’ve been blissfully living in.

“Mom, please.” She has two sets of rings, the originals and the new set given to her on their last wedding anniversary, that are gorgeous and so sentimental in meaning. Dad look her love of Princess Diana and the Titanic film into consideration when heading to Tiffany’s and purchasing a 5.4 carat princess cut diamond ring and it’s matching eternity band. The centered diamond is set between two rich and velvety sapphire stones which makes it a stand out. He presented it to her at the restaurant they had their first date in.

“It is beautiful girl. I can’t even front, it’s all I’ve been looking at while doing your hair.” Kim’s admission turned a snicker into full on laughter because I noticed it as soon as she arrived and began to pull products out of her kit. At least she’s not ashamed to admit it.

“Thank you.”

“Baby, which ones?” Dante’s sock clad feet swiftly marched in my direction and he held up two pairs of shoes in my line of view for my judgement. The ombre effect of black fading into blue and the brogueing details on the shoe in his left hand instantly caught my attention. I was already thrilled with him taking my advice and going with a midnight blue tuxedo instead of the traditional black one, so of course the shoes drew me in just as much. Even the golden double buckles looked good. In the right hand was the traditional patent leather, Oxford style, evening lace up shoe that you see all over the Oscar red carpet when some famous actor is walking down in Tom’s designs. It’s clean, straight to the point, and yet complimentary to the entire look. Though the blue shoes were stronger in appeal, I couldn’t deny the sophistication of the other pair. They’re the superior choice for tonight.

“Do the patent leather oxfords. They’re traditional and sleek. They’ll be perfect.” I’m not even sure what else could be done to make him look any more perfect than he already does. With his bow tie loosely hanging over his neck, his shirt untucked from his pants, and two pair of shoes in his hands, he’s still undoubtedly is the sexiest man I’ve ever encountered. If my mother weren’t sitting on the couch and I didn’t have my two person glam team standing in front and behind me, I absolutely would have blurted out a few of the vulgar thoughts crossing my mind. This man in a suit is my kryptonite and he wears them more often than he wears anything else, so I am constantly going through phases of feeling tempted and aroused daily. Occasionally, I’m damn near embarrassed at how much I always want him.

“I agree. They’re refined.” As my mother chimed in, he nodded to signify that he heard both suggestions.

“Thank you.”

As quickly as he appeared is as quickly as he disappeared back into the guest room. In yet another selfless act, he chose to use the guest room as the space to ready himself just in case I needed the bedroom and I probably will. That’s where the gown and shoes are.

“Nude lip tonight?”

“Yeah, the gown is the statement. No need for anything bold.” Besides that, it’s typically my go to whenever I’m putting something on my lips.

“You know, this year, I am struggling to figure out what to get you for Christmas. For the past couple of years you’ve been home more, so I’ve been able to eavesdrop on a few conversations to figure out a few ideas for what you may want, but it seems like this year, it’s going to be a struggle.”

“I don’t really have anything that I particularly want. I’ve already gotten two gifts for you though.” I smirked in satisfaction knowing that I may end up being the gift queen this year. She has and will always love vintage Chanel bags, so I scored two that I know she’ll be gasping over in surprise and clutching her chest in love for. One in particular cost me over thirteen thousand dollars and is coming all the way from Japan. Though I nearly choked at the price tag, I didn’t hesitate to purchase it for her. She’s beyond worth it and that doesn’t even touch the surface of all that I owe her.

“Have you? Well look who isn’t last minute shopping this year.” After closing the magazine, she placed it down on her lap. “I was in Saks the other day and I saw the cutest Gucci diaper bags. I think I’m going to grab two of them as gifts for Lauren because I just can’t wait until the baby shower to start shopping. I’m too excited. We’re finally going to have a baby in the family.” Her excitement has been relentless since the announcement as I expected it to be and it will eventually reach a point of overkill and I suppose that’s understandable to. Being a grandmother is something she’s been looking forward to since we were children. Unlike other mothers who do their best to hold onto their younger days, she has no “glam-ma” or “GiGi” rule. She intends to be a good ol’ grandmother who has her grandchildren running around her house all summer long while they’re being spoiled rotten by both she and my father. I can also sense the pride she feels in the timing of this baby given that Isaac is in a much better place and will actually handle fatherhood in a manner that’ll make her proud. He did things the right way and that’s something to be applauded. I’m just as proud of him as they are. Not only do he and Lauren deserve this, but so does my parents. A new life to ease out some of the pain from the loss of one is a blessing to be celebrated. Eventually, brother and sister-in-law will have half of a football roster worth of them for our parents to love all over.

“I think she’ll like that.”

I’ll never forget coming across this Zac Posen gown while skimming through the runway section of Vogue’s website to view all of the New York Fashion Week collections. Naomi Campbell, in all of her goddess nature, came sauntering down the runway and left me completely breathless as the dim lighting in the Vanderbilt Hall in Grand Central Terminal cascaded over the glittering taffeta gown. It instantly became a social media viral moment and I fantasized about myself in that gown for months. I’d even gone as far as using the gown as inspiration for my own ideas and sketches. Never in a million years plus a million more would I ever think that I’d be standing in my now fiancé’s bedroom with my mother zipping up the exact gown onto my frame. I have to give credit to Stacey for reaching out to the fashion house and making the connection. I’m quite sure that Dante’s name was the clout needed for them to agree to it, but it’s happening and I’m beyond grateful. I may not have a terrible step-mother and ugly step-sisters but I do have a prince charming, so this is somewhat of a Cinderella moment for me.

“How do you feel in it?” Her question nearly went into one ear and right out of the other as I slowly ran my hands over the material. A blissful sigh eased past my lips as the reality of the moment sunk in.

“Good. So good.” I only had one fitting for it and I could barely contain my excitement as Zac himself put a few pins in the upper bodice to mark the points for alterations. He had to take it in just a bit so it’d clasp my bosom slightly more than it did. If you ask me, it was perfect then…but it’s damn sure perfect now.

“You look absolutely stunning sweetheart.” Rather than allowing me to turn in a circle for her, she circled me with a smile of pride and gleam within her watering eyes. Her hand met the skin of my arm in a gentle touch and with a nod of her head, her approval was sealed. “Just perfect.”

“Thanks mom.”

“The belle of the ball.”

“I’m sure there are going to be plenty of belles of the ball tonight. Lets not get cocky here.” I’m expecting the matriarch of the St. James Family to stop the show in only a manner that both she and her husband know how to. How could she not?

“You’re my child. I’ll be as arrogant as I want to be. Now let me get a picture for your dad.”

What she called a picture, felt like hundreds that Dante eventually became apart of. We had no time to compliment one another or to even speak about what tonight’s festivities may hold for the both of us because of the domineering Lillian Dupont. The best photos were taken in the lobby of the condominium. The lavish decor served as the perfect background for my mother, who had suddenly morphed into Cecil Beaton while we served as the royalty in front of her lens. Marvin’s SUV was our awaiting carriage and she saw us off with words of encouragement to have a good time and a joy filled wave as she stood on the Manhattan curb.

The humans zipping along the sidewalks and jay walking into traffic along with the ubiquitous skyscrapers captured my attention in the same essence that it always does. The juxtaposition of affluence and poverty wasn’t as obvious tonight as it is when you’re walking down the streets of congested Times Square. The looming question of where I fit in amongst all of this isn’t tormenting my mind like it has been since the death of my brother. Despite my nervousness, I can sense the peace in being here within this moment without my brother and yet with Dante. This city continues to give me love.

“Baby.”

“Hm?” A hitched breath left me faintly pulling for my oxygen as I took in his sight. There is no one feature that makes him so handsome. I can mention his soft lips and their perfect rosy hue that I can kiss until we’re experiencing numbness. Maybe it’s structure of his jaw and the way it immaculately curves to form the symmetry of his face. Maybe it’s the curve of his smile and the way it melts my soul and makes me fall deeper in love. His eyes. Dear God, the eyes. From them comes an intensity that leaves me breathless, an honesty that has yet to fail me, and a vulnerability that embraces and showers me with adoration, and lastly a strength that rids me of my deepest fears. I still stop in my tracks at the sight of him. I still shrink and blush when his gaze washes over me. He is the embodiment of secure masculinity that leaves me on an endless high. Tonight is all of that times a million. I can barely contain myself.

“You look like a dream.” No, that’s you Dante. It’s you.

“So do you.”

“No, really. I can’t even put it into words. Perfection isn’t even a good enough word. Shit. I….” His dark chocolate eyes widened as his tongue became tied in his mental search for the perfect adjective. If I wasn’t already blushing before, he’s certainly drawn it out of me now.

“Thank you. You amazing yourself. I’m always obsessed with you in a suit, but in a tux? It makes me want to give you a couple of babies.”

“So you’re saying that I should wear these everyday then?” Even Marvin had to laugh at his response. I knew it was coming. If he wears a tux everyday, I’ll be like those women who are walking around pushing a double stroller with a toddler walking along side it, twin babies inside of it, and a very pregnant belly peaking out from behind it. I don’t even think the Malibu home would be big enough to house a family of that magnitude.

“Look at you starting early. Are you excited about tonight?” I had to ask because he hasn’t said much about it beyond the occasional responses here and there to my general questions.

“I’m excited that you’re with me.”

“But you aren’t excited about the event itself?”

“It’s a gala with a bunch of wealthy people and A&M employees, drinking, dancing, mingling and flexing their checkbooks with donations. I can’t really pinpoint what the exciting part is suppose to be. I usually just sit at a table and count the hours until it’s over. Occasionally, Stacey will make me get out of my seat and dance with her. Fredrick came last year, but he’s having a get away weekend with Erica.”

“And Mike?”

“He’s down in North Carolina for his grandmother’s birthday party. He’ll be back in a day or two. We’re going to meet up to play ball as soon as they get back to the city.”

“Will you save a dance for me tonight?” The question was a tease and his smirk told me that he knew it. “I don’t think Stacey will mind.”

“I’ll absolutely save you a dance.”

“More importantly, I don’t want you to stress tonight. I care about that far more than a dance. I’ve noticed how much you tense up whenever you’re in a room with your parents and brother. I’m sure that reaction is beyond your control at this point but still, even if it’s just for tonight, try and have some kind of fun. Don’t worry about them or anything that can possibly be said or done to take you into a negative space. No matter what, everything’s going to be alright. I won’t make you promise me because I know what it’s like when someone is testing your cool and shit does happen, but I just want you to know that either way I’m going to be by your side whether we’re having a blast or whooping ass.” In the midst of our laughter, I knew my words couldn’t be truer. We’re not on a wild ride like Bonnie and Clyde, but I’ll still step up to whatever challenge with him if necessary because I know at any given moment he’ll either do the same for me or move me to the side and take it all on by himself.

“I’m down with that. No stress. No fighting because you look too gorgeous for all of that. We’re going to go, enjoy it as best as we can, and go about our business.” He’s right about the fighting part. Though I’m willing to defend his honor if necessary, I’d rather not do so with a hundred million dollars worth of borrowed Harry Winston jewelry on my body. My eyes nearly bulged out of my head and fell onto the floor as Dante opened up the jewelry boxes and insisted that they were perfect for the tonight’s festivities and the gown I’d be wearing. He specifically chose pieces from the jewelry house’s iconic collection of cluster diamonds. Around my neck is over a hundred and thirty carats of marquise and pear shaped diamonds. On my wrist is eighty carats of marquise and pear shaped diamonds. My ears? Thirteen carats. Thankfully, they’re not as dramatic in weight because they certainly would have ripped through my holes if they were any heavier. If I lose any one of these pieces, it might as well be considered purchased. Lord only knows why he’s trusting me to walk around with that much of his money at stake as a fashion statement.

“Sounds like a plan to me Suga.” As soon as he leaned in for a kiss, I quickly turned my head so he could catch my cheek.

“Did you just swerve me?”

“I can’t have you messing up my lipstick this early, come on now.”

“The early part of your response means that I have permission to mess it up later and I’m holding you to that.”

“St. James, please.”

“Soon to be St. James, I’m holding you to that.” My future last name rolling off of his tongue sent a faint chill down my spine as I turned to glance at the side of his face. All thoughts to preserve my lipstick went out of the window as I pressed my lips into his cheek. I’ll always be the float like the wind, slightly reserved, nurturing, and hopeless romantic Dupont but I’m looking forward to my journey as a St. James.

The last time I attended a corporate event, it was a birthday party thrown from Andreas in Miami by Micky Arison and Pat Riley. The reason why I label it corporate is because I had absolutely nothing to do with it and for the most part, I didn’t know a single person on the guest list aside from a handful of the player’s wives. Just about all of the attendees were involved in either playing the sport or being a central piece behind the scenes of it. It was on the rooftop of Miami’s 1 Hotel South Beach and much like damn near every outdoor party in Miami, it was an all white affair. I wore Versace from head to toe that night. We both did. All it was flown in literally the day of and made it just in time for a fitting and a slight alteration to the upper strap of my dress. Though I was in no mood for it, I had a role to play and the most important part of it is looking the part. If I did nothing else right, I’d like to think that’s the one area that I upheld myself in even if I didn’t internally feel like what people complimented me for when referencing to the external.

We argued inside of his Ferrari the entire drive to the event. That was a routine for us whenever we were within an enclosed space with no where else to go for an extended period of time. My boisterous pleas were all about being seen and heard by him while his were ones of dismissal and disdain at my neediness. The same man who once told me that I didn’t need to worry about anything and to allow him to take care of me, condescendingly told me that I needed to find an occupation so that I wouldn’t take my self induced misery out on him. When we arrived to the party, though we walked in hand in hand, we were only along side one another for twenty minutes or less. He glued Amber to his side and I glued myself to a seat at the bar, where I threw back shots of my favorite tequila and looked on at an interaction that I knew was more than just friendship. She’d been screwing him long before that party and I knew it. That evening they didn’t seem to have a problem with everyone else figuring it out as well. A rage that I hadn’t felt before set in as I looked on and reality set in about the unraveling of our marriage. When we arrived home in the wee hours of the morning, I took a bat and smashed the windshield of the same Ferrari we left in. I suppose his guilt stopped him from having me arrested for vandalizing his property.

“Wow.”

Though he nor Stacey mentioned anything about a specific theme, the Prohibition era or rather the Roaring 20s, was intertwined with the event’s decor. Much like Gatsby, the glitz and glamour of the high society was on full display with it’s black and white color scheme and golden and silvery metallics to further accentuate it. Swinging from the chandeliers were women dressed as flappers in their art deco style dresses with feathered and jeweled hair pieces and headbands that I’d love to add to my accessories collection. The bespoke floral arrangements of white Avalanche roses and Lilies softened the darkened atmosphere and towering centerpieces placed on every table dripped Swarovski crystals down their frames and glimmered in the dim lighting. Given the time of the year, I expected to see something along the lines of a winter wonderland but I suppose this makes sense. It actually makes a ton of sense.

“Yeah, I know. Beautiful event thrown by shitty people.”

We skipped the red carpet. It took up the entire block and was rolled out for the attendance of their celebrity clientele and anyone else who was bold enough to walk it. The discussion and decision between he and I was a swift one once we were within five minutes of arriving. Though he had no concern or fear of trekking down it’s red surface with me along side him, I deemed it to be unnecessary. No matter how much he’s trying to mask it, he’s already uneasy about being here and the flashes of those cameras may have taken him over the edge.

“How much does something like this cost to throw?”

“Millions. Anywhere between two and five.” The aloof response was followed by him drawing me closer to the side of his body while we maneuvered past all of the gazing eyes. I’m a stranger amongst this crowd and it is more than obvious by the glances and whispers.

“There you two are. I’ve been waiting at this bar for about forty five minutes. I didn’t want to sit down without you.” Stacey stood before us looking absolutely stunning, just as I expected her to. She has such a timeless and ageless beauty about her that enhances day by day, and then there’s her warming and playful smile that immediately lights up a room when she walks into it. I’m all for a woman taking her time when it comes to snapping back after childbirth. It’s what they deserve after nine long months of nesting a child and then going through the beautiful yet taxing experience of childbirth. Stacey? If I didn’t already know she had a baby, I wouldn’t have been able to guess it. There isn’t anything out of place or shape. And tonight? She’s outshining everyone in the room in her deep teal Zuhair Murad gown.

“Autumn, oh my God.” In the same manner as she had done in Dante’s office the first time we met, her eyes bulged out of her head and she grabbed both of her hips as she playfully ogled over my attire for the evening. I too, was doing the same thing to her. With the way her body looks in that gown, I need to get back on my running schedule to get these extra ten pounds of relationship weight off of me.

“No. I should be the one saying that. You look amazing.”

“Girl. You literally look like a black holiday Barbie. My mother started collecting them for me ever since I was a little girl and I’ve kept the tradition going because I plan to give them all to my daughter. That’s what you are serving tonight. This gala hasn’t had a moment like this ever before and you know I don’t lie. These white women waltzing around here barely know how to put on some damn color. Wow.” I could only wrap her up into my arms for a tight hug. There’s something extremely beautiful about women celebrating one another and whenever I have a moment like that I enjoy it. Our compliments for one another have a tendency to be far more important and uplifting than anything a man can tell us and I wish more women would understand that. We’re at our best and strongest point when we’re standing together and behind one another.

“You look dapper too Tae.” As her arm slapped into his shoulders, he drew her in for his own hug.

“You look incredible Stace. The traffic made us slightly late, but as far as I’m concerned we aren’t late enough.”

“Oh, I know.” The knowing look they gave one another left me in the dark. “At least the checkbooks are already out. The more we see those, the quicker all of this dwindles down. Rich folks, alcohol, and money. It’s always bullshit in the making. I moved your seat by the way. It took a lot of sneaky shit to get it done, but I did.”

“Same table as you?”

“Yeah, same table.”

I thought he’d avoid speaking with people at all costs, but he opted not to and held a number of short conversations after being sure to properly introduce me with the proper title. The difference between he and I and the men walking around with their wives on their arms is respect and partnership. There’s this stench of fragile masculinity and sexism suffocating the place and every single time I catch a glimpse of it, my stomach turns. Out of the multiple conversations that he’s had with fellow co-workers and a few clients, only two men properly introduced their wives to him and allowed him to shake their hands. Then there are the disrespectful lust filled glares that their wives are deliberately ignoring for the sake of keeping their status and being kept. Most of all, I can only reflect back on the harsh reality that I used to be in the same exact place and predicament that they’re in. How can I judge?

“I’ve been awaiting my turn to embrace my son and my future daughter-in-law.” Elizabeth’s soft voice filled my ears from behind us. A small sigh of anxiety escaped my lips as my eyes flickered towards Dante and silence loomed between us. Despite what I requested of him on Thanksgiving Eve, I know it won’t be easy for him to bite his tongue, mask those pain filled emotions, and to began to work towards that healed and healthy relationship that she is pleading for when it comes to him. I can see it in his eyes and the manner in which they darken and narrow whenever she’s near. I can feel it in his tensed arm and the way it’s firmly locked around my waist as if she has the capability to do me any harm. Despite how I’m soothingly running my arm across his back, it’s not helping him.

“Autumn, you look absolutely stunning.” Her open arms lingered longer than they were supposed to due to his grip. A reassuring brush of my hand over his was what allowed an embrace with my future mother-in-law to happen. The aroma of her floral perfume filled my nose as she placed a soft kiss on my cheek. The mistiness in her eyes is what took the short moment from nice to confusing. “I just want to say congratulations and welcome to the family.”

I’m not even sure I can explain to Dante the guilt that filled my thoughts as I listened to her speak. He may look at me like I have the heads of Medusa or laugh it off and call me soft for falling for what he describes as pure antics for the sake of manipulation. I’m sure that’s a moment that she not only would have wanted to share with her son before hand, but of course she wanted to be there to witness him make such a momentous step within his manhood. Do I apologize? Do I explain? There’s not only an elephant in the room, but the entire damn zoo has shown up.

“Thank you Elizabeth.” I’d like to think that’s fair enough, right?

“Congratulations to you as well son. I’m proud of you.” I didn’t necessarily intend to visually scold him but it was instinctive. Had I not done it, he would have avoided that hug and nonchalantly nodded his head at her words meanwhile keeping his eyes locked on me, as if I actually matter in this brief heart to heart moment between mother and son.

“It’s good to see you, mom.”

“My God, you look just like your grandfather as you stand there in that tuxedo. You resemble him so much that it’s scary. Autumn, I have to show you pictures one day. He’s my dad through and though. He gets his mannerisms from his father. Their strength is identical. He loves hard, like me.”

“I believe it. From the moment we shook hands, I could pick up on certain qualities that he’s inherited from his dad.” The dominance and the way an entire room falls at their mercy is identical. It feels more hereditary than taught.

“I don’t see it.” Of course he’d disagree.

“I know you don’t. You’ve always felt like you are your own man and I cannot argue with that, despite what I do see of your father and grandfather within you. Your unique qualities shine bright.” The compliment went right over his head. His stoic facial expression never once shifted or even forced somewhat of a smirk. If anything, the panning of his eyes wreaked of impatience and pending dismissal.

“So a wedding date. Is there one set? I’d love to help out.”

“No. Not yet.” His lie flew out quicker than the truth could from my end.

“Well when there is, please don’t hesitate to call. Also, Autumn, I’d love to have your family over for dinner whenever you’re ready. If you’d rather us come and join them for dinner, I’m more than willing to do that as well. I figure it’d be nice to get to know them before everything takes place.”

“Of course. We’ll set something up. I’m sure my mom would love that, actually.” And she would. She’s a people person, but I fear her intuitive nature will be able to pick up on what Dante despises about them and then her fears will set in about how much of that will be inflicted upon me. If she didn’t have class and a reputation to protect, she would have already lunged at Joanne, so the last thing that I need is her being on the edge over some slick remark coming from the St. James men. She’d have their heads before my father or brother could.

“Good. I’m looking forward to it.” The fur stole wrapped around her upper frame complimented her twinkling brown eyes as they washed over her son’s dapper appearance in pride. Despite how he may feel about her, he’s a prize in her eyes and I can see it whenever she looks at him. Why wouldn’t he be? He’s the son that came from her womb and he’s done more than enough to make anyone who knows him proud. “Tony Bennett’s performing tonight. Save me a dance tonight if you can son.”

She didn’t bother to wait for his response and it may have been the most intelligent decision she’s made since addressing him this evening. She wouldn’t have gotten one.

“Dante.”

“I’m trying. I promise, I am.”

“Try a little bit harder, my love.”

“Then I’d be forcing it.”

“Please don’t have us get married without her being there. I am pleading this, genuinely. Please.” He allowed that to linger as he guided me to and helped me into my seat. Even as he sat down along side me and took in the ambiance, I didn’t receive an answer. There manner in which his eyes, which were once inseparable from me, were avoiding me said it all.

“Dante.”

“Okay. Whatever you want, baby.” He half ass meant it. His eyes were locked on the stage as this evening’s host, Mark Cuban, owner of the Dallas Mavericks, took the stage and began an onslaught of commentary and jokes that weren’t as hilarious as he thought they were. His mixture of sarcasm and financial flexing oozed of arrogance and a superiority complex if you ask me, but what do I know? If the bulk of the room finds it funny, maybe it’s me with the stick up my ass.

“Here he comes.” Stacey announced Richard loud enough for us to hear. His suave demeanor moved across that stage like a professional and he grabbed the microphone to welcome his audience. At the head table was his wife, Matthew and Camille, who we’ve yet to speak to and two empty seats that I’m sure were reserved for us. I should have prayed before we left home, but I’m going to get it done now. If God is on our side, the hours we spend here are going to flash by us like nanoseconds.

“Good evening and welcome to the fifth annual A&M Gala. It’s incredible be within our fifth year of hosting such a prominent event to be able to enhance STEM programs at our very own New York City’s schools and to further research for children’s cancer. My wife, who was once an educator, has been a long time advocate for the future of children and immediately brought me onboard with her efforts upon the two of us meeting one of another. It is one of the reasons why I fell in love with such a beautiful woman. Please, give my loving wife Mrs. Elizabeth St. James a hand.” As she stood, I could sense how much she lives for moments of gratification from the man who is the apple of her eye. The gleam in her eyes could make one believe that they’re new lovers and the pageant like wave at the attendees around the room as they applaud her efforts solidifies how huge her importance feels internally though it may be small on the grand scale of things. In her eyes, she’s the first lady of this city and her husband seemingly does his best to keep up with that illusion for her.

“I like to call this event the CCC. Cocktails, checks, and then cut them loose.” Though the laughter was loud, I nodded in agreement because that’s exactly what these events at all about; the drinks and the money. No one gives a damn about the meal.

“Tonight we’re going to auction off some incredible donations to the A&M Foundation from some of our well renowned high profile clients and others who have taken a liking to our initiative and decided to reach out with a helping hand. I believe in the concept of it takes a village. I was raised right here on these New York City streets, I attended the same schools that your donations will be going to, and I know what it’s like to be within a school that doesn’t have enough resources to further engage the student’s interests. It is because of that, that I made sure to put my boys in the best schools that I could find and I’m sure a lot of you have done and are doing the same thing for your children. Our inner city parents do not have capability to offer their children the same luxuries but that doesn’t mean that they should go without the proper aid to brighten their educational journeys. So tonight, it’s all about those students and the children who are fighting for their lives in children’s hospitals so that they are capable of having the opportunity to make a difference in this country in the same manner that the students we’re going to help tonight will do. That’s a fight that I can stand behind every single day of my life and I hope that you all are just as passionate about it as the St. James Family is. I’d like to personally thank my son Matthew St. James who was able to network and create a number of study abroad opportunities for our graduating STEM students next year. A number of them will be going to study in places like Singapore, Osaka, Dublin, Sweden, and Glasgow for two semesters before returning to the states and entering four year universities. Give him a hand please.” A muscle involuntarily twitched at the corner of my eye once he stood to his feet and Dante’s mouth formed into a grimace at the lie that earned Matthew the applause. What was once his initiative, turned into Dante’s as he made those phone calls to get students into those prestigious programs. I remember him speaking with the chancellor of the university in Dublin for over an hour while we were in London. Suddenly, I have the urge to slap the smug expression off of Richard’s face as he gives his incompetent piece of shit of a son the credit for the work that he didn’t do.

“And then there’s my baby boy, who is the heart of A&M. He’s the vessel. It is because of him that every single school we donate to has advanced technology inside of the classrooms; the latest being Apple products. This gala isn’t where his donations start and stop. He is our first donor every year and on his own, he donates to cancer research and to our local Boys and Girls Clubs. He is also a donor to after school programs and summer camps throughout the city. So we thank you Dante. Please, give me baby boy a round of applause. Stand son.” As quickly as he stood and waved is as quickly as he sat back down, instead of basking in the moment like the others. Modesty wasn’t at play, but his moodiness certainly was.

“And I don’t know if everyone knows, but my youngest is finally taking the step that all of the other men in the family have taken. It’s been a long time coming, a damn long time coming when you think about it, but Dante is engaged to be married to the lovely woman to the right of him. I’ve spent some years wondering when he’d find the one to settle down with. Hell, out of every intern pool we get every two years, I mentally pick out at least three who may be capable of grabbing his attention and locking him down but it never happens. One year, I lost twenty five thousand dollars because I bet on the hottest one out of the group and not even she could catch his eye.” I wonder if she’s here tonight and if she is, her boss not only embarrassed her but it just made note of himself being far more concerned with getting his son laid than what great skill set and work ethic she could bring to his company. How degrading and unfair. The glass ceiling never moves.

“But now I can see why. His absolutely breathtaking bride-to-be was already out there in the world waiting for him to find her and he did. So Autumn, I want to formally welcome you to the St. James Family. We are thrilled to have you come and be apart of our strong foundation and tight knit bond. Congratulations to both you and Dante on your engagement and we’re all looking forward to everything leading up to your nuptials and all of the great things that are to come after them. I suppose this grey I’m growing in means it’s time for a couple of grandchildren to make sense of it.” The applause was thunderous, though neither one of us stood up for the ovation. Dante’s hands remained clasped tightly upon the table and he fiddled with his knuckles while waiting for it to end. Unlike Lillian, his praise felt cynical and it unnerved me far more than anything he had done tonight. My stomach writhed about as Matthew’s gaze ripped through me and the growing tension within the man along side me felt like it was going to wreak havoc within this place at any given moment. I’m not sure if we’re going to last another hour.

The bidding was done over dinner and though I didn’t particularly want anything, Dante won a thirty thousand dollar yellow and white diamond cuff by Tiffany’s that shapes itself around the wrist like a crown. I have a feeling it’s a Christmas gift for his mother. It’ll save him the time of having to look for one and certain suits her glitzy taste. Despite his offer to pay for anything I wanted to raise my auction paddle for, I declined and instead enjoyed the sultry and soothing crooning of the legendary Tony Bennett. I’d been waiting for him to take the stage most of the night and when he did, I wasn’t left disappointed. In the midst of my tipsy fiancé gulping down glasses of champagne to sooth his nerves and his distance from all in the room, including myself, I swayed in my seat for what felt like a personal performance just for me to the classics I’ve known and fell in love with because of my mother. Though Elizabeth’s request for a dance with him was never obliged, Stacey forcefully got one out of him. It was attempt at lightening his mood and I’m sure their purposeful and yet silly off beat dancing successfully did so.

“He hates attending this.” Camille broke my trance as she plopped down into Dante’s seat and gave me a nudge of lighthearted acknowledgement. She too, must have been watching his behavior throughout the night.

“I know. We didn’t have go if he didn’t want to. I thought my being here would help him, but I guess I jumped the gun.”

“Oh no, your being here is helping him plenty. He would have been gone by now. He usually sneaks out before we’re even halfway through the night. Right now, the night is just about over and look who’s still here.”

“He’s unhappy though.”

“With them, not you Autumn.”

“But that’s the thing. Am I enough? I wonder about that sometimes. He’s been tense since we woke up this morning and it’s only worsened since we’ve been here. There’s nothing that I’ve been able to do to help that. That’s his family. I’m just a woman that he happened to fall for. If he doesn’t feel loved by them, then I have fears that my love may not be enough.” That has interrupted and tormented my thoughts throughout the night. I love him with every fiber of my being but there’s nothing like the love of your parents and siblings. My love is what was supposed to come in and complete everything. I want to fill that void for him, but I’m not sure if I’m capable of doing so because I can only be one pivotal role in his life. I can’t be Elizabeth, Richard, or Matthew for him.

“It’s to the point that you’re so more than enough for him that he’s willing to and eventually is going to walk away from all of this to protect the both of you and your future together. You don’t have to doubt anything. If anyone in this room should be filled with doubt, it’s them. All of them hope, in some capacity, that he’ll fold and conform to what they want and need him to be but their worst nightmares are happening instead. He’s going to be okay though. He’ll be the victor at the end of the pending war. You just have to protect him Autumn, because he’s been protecting you since he set his eyes on you.” Victor? War? Her choice of words were not only alarming but perplexing.

“And what about you?” I had to ask. Her marriage is a disaster at this point and yet she holds onto it for dear life. Even I, at some point, had to let go through it felt like another experience with death right after losing my brother.

“I love him and he already needs me more than I need him. Soon enough, that’s going to worsen and he’s going to need somebody more than he needs anything else. I intend to be that somebody in some type of manner, whether I’m his wife or not. I’m going to be fine. The more pray about it, the more I realize what God has planned for me. That man out there on the dance floor, he’s apart of God’s plans for you. Don’t ever forget that.”

“I won’t.”

“You look beautiful, by the way. The belle of the ball.” It rolled off her tongue in the same manner that it did my mother’s. I pray one of these days she’s able to say those exact words to her own child.

“Thank you. You as well Camille.” I lightly nudged her with a smile as the beading of her black Ralph and Russo gown brushed against my shoulder. “You know, you can always give me a call if you ever want to talk.”

“Thank you for that and please don’t hesitate to do the same.”

And with a kiss to my cheek, I was once again left alone at the table to swoon over Tony’s voice as the night began to close out.

Oddly, Richard didn’t speak to me but I have a feeling that the brief conversation between he and Dante that I noticed out of the corner of my eye is the cause of that. I didn’t have to hear it to know that their exchange wasn’t filled with words of love and adoration for one another. Rather than approaching me, during the auction, we locked eyes with one another and he raised his glass of scotch in acknowledgement and tossed all of the contents inside of the glass down his throat in one swift motion. He would repeat that gesture an additional time as he walked past this table while I sat alone and yet he never said a word. I’m not sure if I should be alarmed or appreciative of that.

“I have a surprise for you.”

His excuse for us remaining at the table until the crowd cleared out made sense initially but after an hour wait and even Stacey leaving us to get home to her husband and daughter, my impatience heightened along with his amusement over my growing attitude. Suddenly, all of the tension had gone out of the door with the St. James’ and the crowd of attendees and the often times silly nature of the man I’ve fallen in love with was back in full swing as he excitedly tapped his fingers on the table in anticipation for this surprise. I don’t understand why he can’t give it to me back at the apartment.

“Is it the cuff? Because if so, it’s absolutely beautiful and Lord knows I’m appreciative but you can present it to me at home babe.” Though I felt like Cinderella at the ball, the clock has strike beyond two a.m. and I’m ready to get home and take all of this off. Enough is enough.

“The cuff is yours. It’s not that though.” I’m too tired to scold him for bidding on that for me, but tomorrow? It’s on. “It’s a nicer surprise. Something that I owe you.”

“What do you owe me? I can’t image a single thing you owe me tonight.”

“But I do owe you something. You notice how the band hasn’t left yet?” His index finger pointed towards the stage and I took notice of what he mentioned. I figured they were waiting until everyone was gone to pack up and get out of here and that he and I were their hold up. Well, it turns out the latter is true.

“Also do you remember when I disappeared for a few minutes earlier in the evening?”

“Uhm.”

“Well, I asked my man Tony for a favor and he happily obliged. I owe you a dance. So before we get out of here, we must dance.” I thought the champagne trickled his tipsiness into the drunken territory as he revealed his surprised but a ripple of laughter left me as the one and only Tony Bennett took his place on the stage once again for an impromptu performance just for two.

“So.” As he stood to his feet, my bashful laughter only worsened. I’ve watched scenes like this in some of my favorite romance films and like every other woman who enjoys them, I’ve imagined moments like this for myself with a man made up in the figment of my imagination. Is this real life?

“May I have this dance?” There was no hesitation as I latched my hand onto his and allowed him to pull me out of the chair. The journey to the dance floor was a short one and yet as he stood before me, the giggles wouldn’t cease.

“I cannot believe this.”

“Why not?” Nearly every breath within me made their exit as he drew me as close as possible and wrapped an arm around my waist.

“Because you’re a dream.” And the beautiful lyrics from “The Way You Look Tonight” further solidified that. I’ve watched Fred Astaire sing that song so many times in “Swing Time”. It’s such a timeless scene and I can’t help but to rewind it multiple times before I move on to the next. He may not be Fred Astaire, but having Tony Bennett is absolutely the next best thing.

“You look like a dream.” His lips meshed into my own to began his process of ruining my lipstick and I welcomed what I’d been craving for most of the night. The one he stuck during the auction wasn’t enough.

“You feel like one.” He pulled my hand in for a kiss as he held it. The pressure of his warm hand on the small of my back subdued the tingling along it.

“Thank you for being here with me tonight. I can admit that I wasn’t the best date. I spent more time walking around to remain calm than tending to you.”

“There’s no need to thank me.” I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. I’m not supposed to be anywhere else. “I know being here tonight came with difficulty. You haven’t done anything wrong.”

“And I want you to know that I am taking your words into consideration. I hear you. I’m going to do my best to allow myself to open up to her but I just have to do it in a way that makes sense for me. I just need some answers before all of it happens.”

“There’s nothing wrong with wanting answers. You deserve them. I just don’t want you go to any further in life without mending your issues with all of them, if possible. Even if you have to love them from a distance, at least your conscious will be clear. There won’t be any questions lingering in the back of your mind and regret replacing the pain that you’re experiencing now when it comes to them. This healing is for the sake of yourself and your mental health going forward. That’s what I’m advocating for.”

“I won’t let you down. I’m going to work on it.”

“Thank you.”

“I love you Autumn. In all of my choices, whether bad or good, you’re the best one that I’ve made.” I wasn’t expecting that to come next and yet as it did, I could no longer hear Tony nor could I see him from out of the corner of my eye. The man whose arms I’m wrapped up into had completely drowned me in his love and left me drunken off of all of him. As I bore into his intoxicating glare, I wasn’t capable of swiftly reflecting on every good or bad decision that I’ve ever made because within this moment, none of them matter. My decision to accept and be with him changed my life. That decision serves as a new beginning and the foundation for all that will further catapult me to being the Autumn that I’ve always dreamt of being. It taught me a language that only we can speak to one another. It has shown me the calm after the storm. It was a decision that I needed to make, not for the sake of being able to have a man and be smothered with love, but for the friendship that I gained from it and someone so beautiful promising me that he’ll be there to laugh and even cry with me for all of my days.

“I love you too.”

That I do. Beyond what words can say.

I’d gone from sizzling to full on scorching; my soul crying out in a separate desperation and thrill from my body.

I’m not sure how we’d gone from listening to John Coltrane with no words spoken to one another as fatigue left our frames lazily resting against the backseat of Marvin’s SUV, to stolen glances in the stainless steel elevator as we rode up to the privacy of his home, to pieces of our evening attire being scattered in a trail from the door, through the living room and finally, inside of the bedroom. Our eyes spoke the words that our mouths wouldn’t. The fire burning between the two of us conjoined in a enthralling blaze and it turned our hushed yearning into need.

“Dante…”

My limps sprawled in the manner that he wanted them to as fervor filled every one of them in sync with his beckoning for me. As his fingers spread the silk of my flesh, his warm tongue laved at me in a ravenousness that left my hips rising to meet him and yet drawing away for the sake of my sanity. He savored me in a ceaseless longing, using what was made his to quench his thirst to further torment me.

“Please.” My hands pulled at his shoulders, to draw him away from his mission. If I didn’t, I will have fallen into an abyss that I wouldn’t be able to come back from.

“You’re so impatient.” The huskiness of his voice and the warm kisses he trailed along my belly to oblige and yet goad me left me mentally scolding myself for having drawn him away from his desires and yet the lathering of his tongue across my skin enticed me to fulfill mine. My impatience had gotten the best and worst of me as soon as our lips met for a kiss at that door and now I want to be filled with him more than I want anything else right now.

“Come here.”

I gave no explanation as his body hit the empty spot next to me and I swung my leg over the opposite side of his waist to hover over him. He didn’t hesitate to meet my lips with his, using his tongue to tempt and damn near dare me to continue on with whatever I intended to do for him. I looked away, as if anything else within the room mattered, and through his kisses to my neck and upper bosom, he read me like his favorite book and used a gentle finger to reorient my face so that our gazes would meet once again. The manner in which he caressed the skin of my face and intensified the passion within our gaze, withdrew my insecurity and destroyed any fears lingering within my conscious. Our breaths hitched as I wrapped my fingers around his bulging flesh and I guided him into my throbbing haven. As his hands clasped my hips, he deepened that plunge and mercilessly withdrew a vicious gasp out of me as my hips began to rise and lower to meet him. It all felt so raw and yet so sensual; so furious and yet unbelievably amorous.

Everything I thought I knew and should do has gone out of the window with every experience we have intertwined in his sheets. He’s studied me and briskly mastered the art of what it takes to drive me to the point of madness and then to bring me back down to this perplexing planet only to send me back to a euphoria that he has created for me and only me. A celebration of his birth open up the door for our exploration and it has only intensified since then. The costly flimsy materials that serve as a barrier between what he’s made the centerpiece of his studies and himself spends more time on the floor of this bedroom than they do on my body if we’re not out in the world dealing with our responsibilities. Our love making is a wake up call that opens up my day with blissfulness and our cries for one another serves as the lullaby before our nightly slumber. Am I enamored of him? Irrevocably.

“Fuck!”

I could no longer see him as my eyes remained tightly shut in unison with every nerve in my form as they continued to take me through a frenzy of unruly emotions. The rhythm teased him and yet it did not outdo him as he pulled at me to make sure I took all of him. The walls surrounding us captured every piercing yelp as my tightness clenched around him in need and every hiss of his to signify his undoing. The arch in my back deepened as the adrenaline intensified. Our shivers were in unison and the impulses trickling along my spine were a sign that I’d soon be surrendering to him.

With his arm tightly wrapped around my waist, his might turned me onto my back and his arms hiked my thighs up for his unwavering drive. His deep grunts were muffled into the nape of my neck and a spell of dizziness washed over me as sightlessness followed. The fluttering within my core worsened as the tips of my nails dug into the soft skin of his back and drove me to delirium through every twitch and tremble rattling against his frame. I’d beaten him this time but he wasn’t far behind. He became undone with a hoarse whisper of his love for me and his hands tangled in my now loosened long tresses.

“You know, I’ve put on the relationship ten because of you.” As my fingers locked into the thickness of his slightly grown out mane, he snickered against the dewy skin of my chest.

“I’m enjoying it.” Indeed he is. Grabbing, smacking, gripping, and sometimes all of the above, one right after the other.

“I bet you are.”

“You’re perfect.” Of course he’d say that. He says it more than enough for anyone to believe it to be a valid statement. I doubt he’ll ever stop telling me that. “This is perfect.”

Silence fell upon us while we used soft caresses to soothe our calming bodies. As the moonlight glimmered against our bare and glistening skin, it also cascaded over every diamond scintillating from my ears, neck, wrist, and most important of all, my hand. He removed everything else except those pieces.

“Baby.”

“Hm.” The nuzzling of his nose was suddenly replaced by his supple lips bringing some warmth to my nipple.

“Lets sleep later.”

Later means the sun will be somewhere in the sky and I am absolutely going to greet it with him.

Surprisingly, I woke up to the sight of cloudiness in the New York City skies and a perfect gloominess in the darkened bedroom that allowed our slumber to be plentiful and useful. Though I awoken before him, I continued to lay there tightly nested in his embrace, basking in his warm while obliging my lazy limbs need for continued rest. He hadn’t flinched, yawned, or made any type of move to warn me that his slumber was coming to an end. His heavy breathing and deep breaths blew against the back of my neck and nearly coaxed me into closing my eyes and resting just a bit more, but I denied myself of having a lazy day for the sake of finalizing everything for the Bluestar and Meridian holiday party. Glen’s supposed to pick me up at two o’clock so that I can make one more run to the florist about the table’s centerpieces. They’re a focal point of my Winter Wonderland theme and I need one more look at the mock up before the actual decorating begins. To say I’ll be glad when that party happens and is over is an understatement.

Once I pulled away from his body, I carefully slid out of bed in a failed effort not to awake him. Though he didn’t open his eyes or spoke, I knew I interrupted him because he turned over on his back and let out a heavy exhale. His Tom Ford button up shirt would serve as my robe once I tossed it over my nudity and I used my hands to clasp it close as I maneuvered into the living room in search of my clutch bag. The ravishing Zac Posen gown was safely laying across the blackened sofa and my bag? On the floor leading into the hall.

On my trek to the kitchen, I slid my phone out of the inside pocket and pressed the home button to light up my lock screen. Twelve missed calls. Twenty four text messages. Nine Twitter direct messages. Fifteen hundred mentions. Seven voicemails. My heart thrashed against my chest as my fingers slowly tapped at the screen to open up whatever world of trouble awaited me within those alerts. I could only think of one person; Andreas. Though I’m not sure what he could possible have to say about me at this point in time, I know that he can dig deep enough within himself and our past to find anything that I’ve done to make him tick with aggravation and despise me simply for existing. He never felt compelled to speak of our union to the media and often dodged any specific questions about me when meddling journalists took their questions in a far too personal route. He’d claim that his personal life is off limits and basketball is all that matters. After our interaction at Heather’s wedding, it’d be of no surprise if he finally did open up about our toxicity to further dig under my skin.

Before I clicked on any social media, I went straight to my inbox and opened Heather’s messages. If there’s anyone who’ll be able to cheer me up in the midst of any adversity, it’s her.

“What the fuck?” It slithered out of my mouth in a whisper as my thumb enlarged the first imagine she sent. The New York Post. On page five, inside of the infamous newspaper that has filtered throughout the New York City streets since the early eighteen hundreds was an enlarged photograph of Dante and I sharing what was a quick peck of the lips during the auction last night. My fingers swiped so I’d see the entirety of what is an entire two pages right in the middle of the paper. Though one brief paragraph mentioned the event and all that it entailed, the rest of the write up and the entire page five were of he and I basking in the presence of one another at many different timeframes of the night. The images of the celebrity attendees pointlessly donned page six. Though they were there, the sensationalized page before it was the eye catcher. Hell, even I would sip my caramel latte while taking a deep dive into it as I sit in a Starbucks or commute to Brooklyn on the four train.

“From WAG to riches. Former wife of decorated Miami Heat coach Andreas Harrington bounces back onto the scene of love with one of New York City’s most eligible bachelors.” I had to read it aloud to worsen the already bewildered expression on my face and a cringe followed as I skimmed through the four short paragraphs of sourced information about my former life in Miami and my now “bounced back” life with the “soon to be billionaire” Dante St. James. Beads of perspiration tickled the crevices of my skin as the back surface of my phone crashed into the counter top and my hands instantly went to my head as I tried to make sense of every detail.

“Dante!” Whatever rest he may have been trying to savor had to end. I suddenly feel like I haven’t had any.

As I approached the doorway of his bedroom, he was sitting on the edge of his bed with his phone resting in his right hand.

“I know. I see it.”

And yet he remained calm. There wasn’t a single part of me unnerved by it all and yet here he is, with no signs of tension or irritation. The muscles in his back were calmer than they usually are when he has to get out of bed and head into the office. His lazy and slouched position is no where near as straight forward and tightened as he tends to be when he’s going to face those that he has no taste for. Every bit of enmity is all me and though not purposeful, I’m left to deal with it alone.

“I’m so confused right now. I don’t remember us taking pictures last night aside from the ones my mom took and the selfies on my phone.”

“They were taking pictures all night long. That’s what happens at events like that. This is all Richard. The gala has always had coverage the next day but with my name meddled in it? No. Whatever source they’re speaking of is him.” We’ve spoken about the encouragement from his father that he broadens his presence amongst the masses and how Stacey is trying to help him do so without him feeling like he has to sacrifice his personal and mental space, but never did I think gossip about what’s happening within his personal life would be within any of it. I’m guilty of Googling him early on and every piece I came across was written by some prominent business publication. Even the Forbes articles were all business and accomplishments, nothing personal, unlike the ones that are written today. More so for him than myself, I’m beyond irate that it has come to this. On my end, the undertone overtly alludes to gold digging. This is my sophomore year of college all over again.

“Your father does not like me. From WAG to riches? Soon to be billionaire? You do realize how that sounds right?”

“He doesn’t like anybody. It’s all business and playing politics when it comes to him. That aside, this is retaliation for me not including he and his wife in on the proposal.”

“So this is what you guys do? Get revenge on one another?” His head swung in my direction as a scowl donned his face. It’s the first time he’s looked at me since I returned to the bedroom and it’s rather alarming. Despite his unruffled posture, there’s something discerning about his reaction.

“This is what who does? This isn’t a you guys thing. I didn’t do this shit.”

“I’m not saying that you did.”

“I don’t care about this Autumn. I’ve never been a person who feeds into gossip, even if it’s about myself. None of that matters. It’ll be talked about today and disregarded tomorrow. People are fickle and become bored easily. It’s my job to know that for a living. Richard will have his day. I’m going to make sure of that.”

“Okay.” What more is there to say? As easily as it flowed from his lips is as easily as he’s going to let it go. Fine by me.

“Where are you going?”

“Work. Unlike what your folks and the rest of the world may think of me, I have a job.”

“Autumn. What do you want me to do?”

“Nothing.”

And with that said, I walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind myself.

There was nothing else to be discussed.

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