#sorry its a bit blurry but i am very happy how this ended up getting organized 💖💖💖

[cherry-bomb-ships]

I got this really cool ita bag for Christmas (it's available on Etsy from the shop StarbeansBags if you want to get it for yourself!!) and I've been wanting to make an f/o bag, I don't quite have enough pins to be JUST f/o related so I decided to call this my Love Bag! I'm filling it with pins of things and characters I love, or just things I feel are connected to me in some way! 💖💖💖

[dambaepuff]

hey hi, could i make a request? Im happy to see another good author starting :) u also seem very nice. could i request a yoongi x preferably fem!reader? if you want you can make it a genderneutral fic. my idea was a scenario were one of them is jealous, i thought of it being her jealous of him, over something stupid, but not in a toxic way like yk just pure jealusy mixed with insecurities. And they have a little petty argument and like it ends with smut i mean they make up to eachother that way :P like smut mixed with fluff at its purest. also, i am really curious to see how u write yoongi, i see many authors making him cold and tough but i believe that he is a very caring softie haha, by the morning wood headcanons, i think you got him very well ;) thank u in advance

REGRETS (m)

Pairing: Idol!Yoongi x FEM!Reader

Genre: angst, fluff, smut, one shot, request, established relationship

Warnings: jealousy, insecurities, a petty argument, depictions of sex, crying, emotional, oral sex (f receiving), vaginal fingering, bodily fluids, penetration (vaginal), a bit of praise, light biting, squirting

Word count: 5k

Summary: uhhh idk dude just read the request that’s pretty much it

A/N: UGH I LOVE THIS IDEA!! I don’t have much experience with writing angst so this was a really nice exercise. Thank you sooo so much for all the kind words, it’s what keeps me writing. I’m also a sucker for soft Yoongi so this is right up my alley. (Also this is not proofread so lmk if there’s any mistakes or anything)

Thursday night, it’s quiet outside. You’re trying to watch a movie with Yoongi. Key word trying. His hand has been gently rubbing your thigh for a few minutes now, whenever he tries sliding it up to tease you, you grab it and put it back onto his lap. He’s clearly trying to get you heated, but it’s having quite the opposite effect. Lately you’ve felt quite out of it, your lack of confidence causing you to avoid intimacy. With Yoongi being the gentleman he is, he always accepts it when he realizes you’re not in the mood and he moves on. However, you’re starting to doubt his ability to keep going like this. What if he realizes you aren’t satisfactory to him anymore? He could easily find someone else who would be all over him in seconds.

Replaceable. That’s how you’ve been feeling lately. He could have anyone he wants, so why you? “Are you not feeling it tonight?” Yoongi’s voice startles you out of your thoughts. “Huh? Oh. No I’m sorry.” You respond, your voice growing quieter with the end of the sentence. “That’s okay, c’mere.” He mumbles before pulling you into his chest, his hand soothing down your back.

‘Will he stay with me if I keep pushing him away like this?’ Is what you keep asking yourself. On one hand you’re afraid he’ll stop loving you if you stop showing him affection. And on the other hand, you’ve been so self conscious lately about your body and if you’re doing things right you don’t know if it’s worse to ruin the relationship by pushing him away or by not being good enough. ‘Do I even deserve to be with him at this point?’

Friday, 4:37PM. You got off work early today so you decided to stop by Yoongi’s studio. He’s still working so you’re lounging around on one of the couches inside of the room. The two of you had made plans to get dinner together when he finishes up for the day which you’re really looking forward to.

A short blurry figure appears at the studio door, they raise their hand up and place three quiet knocks onto the glass. Yoongi gets up with a huff and opens the door. In front of him stands a familiar woman, you can’t quite remember her name, but you’ve seen her around the company building before.

“Here’s your coffee Suga!” She says in a cheery tone. Her eyes land on you and her smile falls a bit. “Oh, I didn’t know you would be here. Sorry I didn’t get you anything.” She apologizes with a light bow of her head. You dismiss her with a wave of your hand before going back to fidgeting with the hem of your sweater. She turns her attention back to Yoongi who is setting his drink down onto his desk. “Hey Suga, a few of us are going to that barbecue place down the street for dinner and drinks tonight. Do you guys wanna come with?” She asks with a tilt of her head, her long black hair swaying with the movement.

“Uhh, yeah?” He looks at you quickly for confirmation to which you nod your head lightly. “Yeah. Sure we’ll come.”

Yoongi continues chatting with the girl. She casually leans against the door frame, the conversation between them flowing oh so easily. ‘It took me ages to be able to talk to him that smoothly. Why couldn’t I be like her?’ You think to yourself, trying your best to not let your irritation show.

He bids her farewell and sits back down at his desk. For the remaining time you spend in his studio all you can look at is him. Your gaze burns holes into his side profile, tracing each curve of his features over and over again. Why would a man whose heart only knows kindness, whose eyes and soul are so understanding of everything be with you? Your being is rotten with unforgiving bitterness, you seethe at every imperfection like a nun enraged by sin. Why would he want you?

He’s like a wild flower. He needs to be pollinated by the love and kindness of a bee to bloom, yet he stays with you, a caterpillar feeding off of him, biting off his flesh for your gain. Eating away at him and leaving nothing. Maybe you aren’t even a caterpillar. They can eventually turn into a beautiful creature with wings of eyeful colors, yet you can’t become anything more than what you are. You’re stuck in a vicious cycle, devouring every resource without paying any mind to the fact there will be nothing left when you’re done. What does he get for loving you if you can’t be of use? You can’t make him bloom.

“(Y/N)? (Y/N)!” You snap out of your thoughts, the reality around you giving you whiplash. Yoongi is kneeling in front of you, holding your jacket out. “Let’s go, we’ll be late.” You try to take it from his hands, but instead of giving it to you he holds it up so you can slip your arms inside. Once it’s on you he turns you around and zips it up for you. “Okay, let’s go.”

As you’re walking down the long hallways towards the elevators, Yoongi notices something odd. You usually grab onto his hand the moment you start walking somewhere together, but your hand is tucked away in your pocket now. He gently pulls it out and intertwines your fingers together. You can’t bring yourself to grip onto him like usual, instead you limply keep your hand at your side, letting him hold it. He’s a bit confused by this, but nevertheless he keeps holding you, his grasp only growing tighter in an effort to reassure you.

Yang Sunhee. Her name popped up in your head the moment she sat down across from you and Yoongi at the long wooden table. She’s been leading the conversation at your part of the table for a while now, mostly talking to Yoongi. To her credit she has tried to include you into the conversation a few times, but you didn’t really give her much to work with so she gave up.

You’ve been pushing your food around your plate for a while now. It’s mostly pieces of meat Yoongi placed down onto it for you, your favorite in fact. You just can’t get yourself to even place anything into your mouth, anxiety squeezing your throat so tightly you can barely even swallow your own saliva.

Sunhee is laughing at something, her eyes bright and her large smile hidden away behind a polite hand. Yoongi is laughing too, maybe not as hard as her, but he’s still laughing. ‘Why am I not the one making him laugh right now? Am I not funny anymore?’

As you’re glaring down at your food you feel a warm hand make contact with your shoulder. “You wanna go home?” Yoongi asks quietly, tucking a stray piece of hair behind your ear. “Yes please.” You breathe out, barely audible. On the drive home Yoongi tries asking what’s wrong multiple times, but all he gets in response is a simple “I just don’t feel too well.”

It’s been a few days now since you had dinner with Yoongi’s coworkers. He realized something was wrong so he’s been giving you some space. To be quite honest you aren’t sure if the space is helping or making it worse. After spending the whole day quietly sobbing to yourself in bed you decide to see what he’s up to. You find him sitting in the living room watching some sort of documentary and looking like he’s about to fall asleep. One of his cheeks is squished against a pillow and his hair is going on all the wrong directions. He looks adorable, your heart almost breaks in two knowing this is who you’ve been pushing away lately.

Taking a seat next to him, he lifts up his blanket so you can use it too. Just as you’re getting sleepy as well his phone pings on the coffee table. Instinctively you reach down for it so you can hand it to him, but when you see the contact name annoyance squeezes at your chest.

Yang Sunhee

Sent a message

“Why is she texting you?” The question slips from your mouth before you can even think it through. “I don’t know, let me see.” He responds while extending his hand out for the phone. You peer over at the screen, shamelessly trying to see what she sent. “Ah it’s just the schedule for next week.” He says and likes the message before setting his phone back down. Now you feel a bit guilty. Why were you questioning the intentions of this woman? She’s his employee after all.

Yoongi’s large hand comes up to cup your face, his thumb gently gliding over your cheekbone. “I know that look, what’s wrong baby?” He asks, his dark eyes skimming your face in search for answers. “It’s nothing.” You respond a bit too quickly, your tone stiff. The corner of Yoongi’s lip quirks up. “You’re jealous, aren’t you?”

Your eyes shoot open, “N-no!” you sputter out a weak defense. His hand slides down to your chin, the grip tightening a bit. His smirk spreads into a smile which angers you. He thinks this is funny?

“Don’t fucking touch me right now.” You say in a way harsher manner than you intended, tearing his hand away from your face. A flash of hurt runs over Yoongi’s face, his smile instantly falling. “Don’t look at me like that! I just- I need a moment right now.” You say in an apologetic tone. “You need a moment? I’ve been giving you a moment for days now. What about me? I keep trying so hard and you don’t show an ounce of being grateful. What’s your problem?” His tone gets louder as he talks, anger evident in his facial expressions.

“Problem? Oh it’s a problem now that I can’t always feel one hundred percent happy? Go sleep with some happy drugged out whore then if that’s what you want!” Without realizing it your tone has risen to a yell, you’re standing now, no longer in the comfort of warm blankets on the couch. “Don’t yell at me!” He yells back, tears beginning to brim his eyes.

“You’re yelling too asshole! Oh you’re gonna cry? Go cry to Sunhee, maybe she can suck your dick to make it better if you can’t go a week without me sucking it!” The moment you finish the last sentence a silence falls over the apartment. Yoongi stares at you wide eyed, unable to form a single sentence.

He looks like a kicked puppy, his eyes watery and his hands trembling. Realizing you went to far the only thing that pops up in your head is leaving the apartment for a bit. You speed walk to the front door, tugging your shoes on quickly and pulling a random jacket on. “Hey, hey! Where are you going?” Yoongi follows you once he realizes what you’re doing. Unable to look at his face you grab your keys and walk out, slamming the door behind you.

Not knowing where to go you walk to the nearest park. Taking a seat on one of the benches you stare up at the moon. “Why did I say that?” You mumble to yourself, tears stinging at your eyes. Your throat contracts, guilt choking you. There’s no holding back now, you let your sobs loose, tears running down your face uncontrollably.

“(Y/N)? Is that you?” A soft voice calls out to your right. Your head shoots up, trying to find the source of the sound. There stands Sunhee, she seems to be in her pajamas with a puffer jacket thrown on top. Her hair is a mess and she’s holding a leash. A little white dog sniffs around near her legs, you assume it’s her’s.

“What’s wrong?” She asks as she sits down next to you. “Ah don’t worry about it.” You mumble, sniffling lightly. “You’re so pretty (Y/N), I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone look good while they cry before.” Sunhee says with a genuine smile. “I- uh what?” You tilt your head to the side in confusion. “If I didn’t have a girlfriend I’d be jealous of Suga for having a girlfriend as pretty as you.” She giggles lightly.

“WHAT?” The question comes out harsher than you intend, the whole situation confusing you. “Listen, if you ever leave Suga just give me a call.” She says with a playful wink. You laugh in disbelief, your tears completely gone now. “You’re funny Sunhee.” You say, still sniffling lightly. “I’m not joking, but thank you.” She giggles along with you.

“Now why are you outside so late?” She asks while pulling her dog up into her lap. “I had a fight with Yoongi, I didn’t really know where else to go. I’m kind of scared to face him right now.” You answer truthfully. “Girl, have you seen how he looks at you? That man is a goner, I’m sure whatever you argued about isn’t that bad. You should go home and apologize, you can talk it through.” She says while giving you an encouraging smile. “You think so?” You ask quietly. “I know so.”

Even with Sunhee’s encouragement you’re still unsure. Guilt wracks through your whole body, pressing down on your insides and making you nauseous. You try to be as quiet as possible when you enter the apartment, but the sound of the heavy front door closing and jingling of keys betrays you. Just as you’re taking your shoes off you hear shuffling down the hallway. Yoongi’s dark figure emerges, you’re ready to hear something nasty from him, but instead you’re met with two warm arms wrapped around you.

“Thank god you’re safe.” He mumbles before kissing the top of your head. “I’m sorry Yoongi, I’m so sorry baby. Please don’t leave me. I didn’t-“ you’re cut off by a hiccup, your tears returning. “I didn’t mean to say any of that. Please, please don’t leave me I’ll never do that again…” You sob into his chest. “Shhhhh, I know you didn’t mean it, I should’ve done some things differently too.” His hand softly pets your head.

“I’ve been trying to figure out why you’ve been acting so weird lately and I think I get it now. You look at her like she killed your dog. You know she’s a lesbian right?” You can’t help but laugh a bit at that. “Yeah I kind of found that out just now.” You mumble, your fingers tangling into the material of his shirt. “Why don’t you like her?” You can feel him softly smile against your hair as he asks the question.

“I don’t know I just-“ You try to form the right words, but they won’t come. “Ugh! She’s just so pretty and she’s really open, it feels like she’s perfect and has everything you could need and I’m just sort of me? I don’t know, it’s stupid. I’m just projecting.” Yoongi listens intently to everything you say while he takes your jacket off. “Lately I’ve felt like the shell of who I was when you met me, you know? I’m just sort of bleh- and every other woman around me seems to have her shit togehter.” A tear runs down your cheek and Yoongi chases it away with his thumb.

“It’s why I’ve been avoiding having sex lately. I just feel gross and ugly while you… you look like you were sculpted by the ancient Greeks. You need a Hera to your Zeus. I’m like a satyr or something!” You let out a bitter laugh, trying to mask your feelings. “Hmm I think we’re more like Orpheus and Eurydice. Except I don’t want to lose you the way he lost her. They were such perfect lovers, yet there was something tragic about them. What’s love without tragedy?” He softly spoke, continuing to wipe your tears. You let out a genuine laugh and hit his chest lightly. “You idiot! You don’t get it.”

“I think I at least partially get it. I mean hell you make my knees weak whenever you look me in the eye woman, and we’ve been dating for years! I’d go to the pits of hell for you a million times more than Orpheus if it meant having a bit more time to spend with you. There’s no other person that could fulfill your role in my life as well as you do. I love you for you, you’re my muse. My light.” He places a ginger peck onto your forehead.

Love and desire suddenly flood through you, grabbing the collar of his shirt you pull him into a rough kiss. A few more tears make their way past your eyelids, but these ones of relief and joy rather than sadness and frustration. Yoongi gladly accepts your advances, kissing you back firmly. He barely wastes any time trying to get his tongue intertwined with yours. Your interwoven muscles becoming a metaphor for your souls combining together, the act of physical intimacy projecting your consciousness into one being, content and whole.

One of your hands shoot up to grip his hair a bit tighter than necessary which makes him release a deep moan. He pants against your lips, trying to catch his breath, but unable to fully separate your bodies. As he had endured yearning for you such a torturous amount, how could he let you go now?

He presses you flat against the door, holding you down chest to chest. His cold hands slide up your shirt, the contrast of temperature making you shiver. Caressing the skin of your stomach so lightly it tickles, he snakes one of his hands behind your back, swiftly unclipping your bralette in one movement. You let it drop to the floor, the only thing on your mind right now being the feeling of his body on yours. With his hands lightly ghosting over your breasts now, you shudder each time one of his fingers brushed against your nipples. Slowly he pulls your shirt off, the cold night air bites at your skin making your nipples harden. Instinctively your arms shoot up to cover yourself, but Yoongi stops you. He firmly grips your wrists and pins them down above your head.

Now fully exposed to him, he looks you in the eyes before licking a fat stripe from the area between your breasts to your neck. Lightly blowing onto the wet part of your skin, you take in a deep breath from the sensation. He begins to trail kisses down to your chest, letting go of your hands so he can bring you as close to him as possible. You tug at his hair softly as he mouthes at ode of your breasts, his tongue lightly teasing the soft bud. He groans softly before kissing down lower so he can get onto his knees.

He kneels before you know, unashamed of the submissive position he’s in. His teeth occasionally graze your stomach between sloppy open mouthed kisses. Looking up at you through his lashes, Yoongi starts undoing your pants. He pushes them down as if they’re getting in the way and moves his kisses down to your thighs. His uncalculated mouth moves dangerously close to your clothed cunt. Hovering over it he purposefully breathes through his mouth so you can feel his warm breath on your skin. You gasp when he suddenly pressed his nose against your pussy and inhales deeply. You can peel the tips of your ears heating up from embarrassment, but Yoongi doesn’t seem to care in the slightest.

“Ugh, fuck how I missed this part of you.” He groans as he kisses over the thin fabric. Finding your clit almost immediately he starts to roll his tongue against it through your panties. Your arousal and his saliva mix together in the material causing an uncomfortable need for real contact.

“Yoongi, take it off already…” you whisper to him, brushing his bangs out of his face. Looking up at you with a cheeky smirk he grabs onto the hem of your underwear with his teeth, making sure to lightly graze your sensitive skin with them as he pulls down. Your panties don’t even have the chance to reach the floor and his mouth is already on you again. He runs his tongue through your folds, making you instinctively angle your hips to give him more access. Heedlessly circling your clit with his tongue, he occasionally sucks on it or flicks it. You’re unsure if his mouth is glistening from his own saliva or from your wetness, but the sloppy noises he’s making are causing you to involuntarily buck your hips into his mouth.

“You’re so beautiful like this, my sweet girl.” He mumbles as he pulls away, nuzzling his head into your thigh. Replacing his tongue with his fingers, you let out a quiet moan when he slips them inside of you. “I love having you like this, only for me to see. You know I’d never do this for anyone else, right?” He emphasizes the question by pressing his fingers down against your sweet spot. ”Shit, Yoongi. I love you so much, no one makes me cum like you do.” Your response comes out in a dragged out whine.

Satisfied with your reply his mouth returns to your clit while his fingers work you open. The combination of sensations makes an orgasm built up in your abdomen fast. “Yoon- Yoongi, I’m gonna ah- I’m gonna cum!” You moan out, trying to warn him. This only encourages him to go faster as an orgasm ripples through you in harsh waves, your head falling back against the door as your eyes roll into the back of your head. You spasm slightly as he continues to work your cunt, trying to pull him away so he doesn’t overstimulate you.

He licks off your juices from his fingers, wiping his lips with the back of his hand. As soon as he’s back on his feet you go in for a kiss, leaning on him for support while still coming down from your high. He refuses to let your lips part as he leads you to the bedroom, his shirt and pants getting lost along the way.

“Lay down baby.” He mumbled against your lips as he led you to the bed. Kneeling down between your legs he made sure you were comfortable on your pillow. No matter how basic, missionary was always the best when you needed to express your love sexually. Parting your lips he pulls you down a little so your thighs are pressed together. He grabs his erect cock out of his underwear, not even bothering to get rid of the boxers. Pumping it a few times he gives you a dopey look, a lazy smirk spreading on his face.

“You ready?” He rasps out, rubbing the tip of his cock against your swollen clit, mixing his precum together with the aftermath of your previous orgasm. “A little too ready.” You replied, running a hand through your hair. “Mmm I can tell.” He teases while spreading the natural lubricant over his cock. Slowly he pressed the tip in, “Fuck, it’s going in so easily, o barely had to prep you. You really want it, don’t you?” his brows crease together in pleasure as he slowly bottoms out. “Yes, fuck Yoongi I want your cock so bad.” Your hand shoots up to grab onto his shoulder, biting your lip at the fullness.

“Please, (Y/N). Can I move?” He murmured, holding onto your hips tightly. “Yes, fuck me Yoongi.” You replied, grabbing his face to place a wet kiss onto his lips. He let out a low moan as he started thrusting into you, the warmth and wetness of your cunt feeling better each time he fucked it. You lightly squeezed your walls on purpose knowing it drives him crazy. “Oh my- ah shit I won’t last long at all if you do that.” He said breathily, his hips jerking forward involuntarily. You hooked one of your legs onto his hips, pulling him forward so he’s pressed into your cunt as deeply as possible. The both of you groaned at that, as soon as you let go he started thrusting into you with a quicker pace. His movements rapidly increased with each slap of skin that echoed throughout the space, his head thrown back. That look on his face means he’s absolutely lost in please and that makes you proud. He molds so perfectly inside you it makes all of your doubts melt away, it’s like he was made for you.

Matching the pace of his thrust to his fingers flicking your clit, Yoongi can swear he can feel you pulsating around him. “Ah, fuck (Y/N) I think I’m gonna cum already. Shit I’m sorry it just feels too good.” He groans, the already pink tips of his ears darkening. “It’s okay, go ahead baby, cum inside me.” You breathily respond, continuing to moan with each of his thrusts. He speeds up before abruptly stopping, the feeling of his warm seed filling you up making you clench around his cock. “Wait, shit, shit run my pussy please I’m so close too.” His fingers immediately speed up on your clit, furiously flicking it as your abdomen tightens again. As the hot white pleasure rips through your whole body, making your muscles spasm you hear a wet noise. Looking down the moment you can open your eyes you see Yoongi’s lower stomach covered in a clear liquid.

“Did you just make me squirt?” You laugh in disbelief. “That’s a first.” He mumbles before pulling his cock out, various liquids gliding down your ass. “I’ll go get a towel. He quickly gets up, trying his best not to make any of his surroundings wet.

As the two of you are laying in bed, your warm baked bodies pressed together, you feel Yoongi’s chest vibrate as he speaks up. “From now on, you always have to tell me when something’s bothering you, okay?” He softly says, stroking your hair. “Okay.” You whisper back. “Promise?” He questions while raising his pinky finger up, you lock yours with his, pressing your thumbs together. “Promise.”

[fieldofdaisiies]

Ive been in such a mood to cry lately so if you can write a fic about azriel and the reader getting into a fight becuz of elain but by the time they reconcile its too late cuz the reader already found someone else (any acotar character) that would be great

Thank you so much for this request. I was a bit passionate writing this as something very similar has recently happened in my real life, hope you like it as it is a bit different to what you requested.

Azriel x Reader | Alea Iacta Est

type: angst, sad warnings: none word count: 920

quick disclaimer: I actually love Elain. All the negativity towards her in this story stems from the "reader‘s" anger and hurt over Azriel choosing Elain over the reader

*all rights reserved*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your vision was blurry with tears, the back of your throat burning. You could barely make out a word of what was said over the blood pumping in your ears. Azriel spoke, his mouth moved but you couldn’t comprehend what he was saying. It made no sense. It made no sense what he said and that he even was here. All those years ago he had chosen Elain. Had chosen her instead of you. Had chosen her instead of his mate. And you had to accept it. You had to live with it even though it had shredded your heart into pieces. You had taken so long to heal and now Azriel was here to rip open all the healed wounds. 

"You don’t make sense, Azriel," you said, your voice quavering. "It all makes no sense. That you are here. What you are saying. I don't understand.”

Azriel took a step forward, wanting to close the distance between the two of you. But you stepped back, shaking your head at him.

You were so overwhelmed, so hurt, so…angry. Gods, you were burning with anger.

Sucking in a breath, you straightened up and squared your shoulders. You were not going to be weak. You were not going to show him how much his sudden appearance had startled you. How irritated you were. How much his rejection still hurt after all those years. 

The audacity that he thought he could come here after all those years and ask to you to finally be his mate…

"Answer me!" you shouted and wiped at your eyes with your the back of your hand. "Tell me why now? What is different now?"

There were so many questions you would have liked to ask: why her? Was she more beautiful? Was she funnier? Kinder? What made him choose her over his mate?

But you could hardly bring yourself to ask these questions, knowing the answers would break you all over again.

Azriel’s throat worked on a swallow and he lowered his gaze to the ground.

"I deserve an answer, Azriel. For everything. Why you left me all those years ago. Why you rejected the mating bond. Why you rejected me! Why you broke me.” You once again had shouted the last part, but it hurt so badly that he thought just because he was now ready for the bond he could have you. Like you were an easy girl—an object he could choose when he wanted to. You were happy now. You found happiness and you found the love of your life in an Illyrian male called Balthazar. Nesta had introduced the two of you after you had been so heartbroken over Azriel’s rejection of the bond. It took you so very long to grow close to Balthazar, but now he was your everything. Your husband and the love of your life.

Azriel had made his decision for Elain, it had broken you, but he still had chosen her. And now…now that this love was longer he thought he could come crawling to you and ask you to be his mate. It disgusted you. 

"I am sorry that I only realised it now," Azriel breathed.

"Realised what?" you growled, your nostrils flaring. "That your mate had loved you from the very first day she had laid eyes on you. That she would have gone to hell and back for you." 

You locked your gaze with his and stepped closer to him. "I would have given you everything. I would have travelled to the end of the world for you. I would have offered you the moon on a string. And still you chose the flowerpot."

Azriel tried to grab your hands. A weak attempt you to calm you, to make you listen to him.

"I thought we were meant for each other. That the Cauldron had made a mistake. I met her before I met you. I thought it had to be us. Three brothers and three sisters. I thought I loved Elain. I did love her," he said and closed his eyes for a long moment.

"And you don’t any longer?"

Azriel shook his head.

"Well, that is your problem then. I have made a decision snd it is final." You inhaled deeply, your fingers curling towards your palms.

"I will never leave my husband for you. I am in love with him. I love Balthazar more than anything in this world," you said, forcing Azriel to look at you. You wanted him to hurt the exact same way you had back then. Azriel’s chest constricted. It ached and so did his heart. He found it hard to breathe, to think, to fight against the tears. Why had he chosen Elain back then? Because he thought they were meant for each other. Because he had loved her. Because he had thought the Cauldron had made a mistake.

"You don’t love him. He is not your ma—"

Before he could finish his sentence your palm collided with his cheek. You both were shocked at that, but you were the first to get out of your stupor. 

"I do love him so much. And there is nothing in this world that could happen that would make me leave him," you said, trying to keep a steady voice. "He is my everything. I am sorry that I hit you, I shouldn’t have done that. But you are in the wrong. I love Balthazar."

Azriel dipped his chin and lifted his hand to brush it over the red spot on his cheek.

"I am sorry, Y/N. I know all of this is my fault. I wish I could change the past and do things differently but I guess that is how it is now."

"Yes, it is. I would like you to leave now."

A tear rolled down Azriel’s cheek, but he complied. He tucked in his wings and brushed past you to get to the door.

"Be happy, Y/N. You deserve it after how much my actions have hurt you."

The door fell shut behind him.

It was the last time the two of you had spoken. The last time you had seen Azriel—your mate.

tags: @juulle987 @marimorena06 @danikasthings @younxii @nightcourtwritings @mrofontaine @lunalilyf @whor-3-crux @tired-all-the-time @anni-was-here @ummmmmwat @azbracadabra @j-pendragonx @hollyismentallyillhelp @famousbasementpainter @bsenpai @lena-davina @red-highlady @thesugatoyourtae @azrielsbitxh

[hopefulgardenshark]

Human eyes on angelic love or how the audience plays Emma

I have been struggling with the bit of talk Maggie and Nina gave to Crowley in Season 2. It sounded like a false tone in the series, and I could not help but repeat after Crowley, "Why are you telling me all this?" I think that Maggie and Nina can be read as an allegory of the (human) audience looking at two celestial beings in love and projecting, projecting, projecting…

In any case, I sat down and went through all 12 episodes to find common threads, the grains of Season 2 built in Season 1. At this point, I am trying to make sense of the relationship development to date. And I put some Jane Austen there, just a tiny bit :) And this entry is LOOOOONG...

The Established Problem

Aziraphale is the being of love, an expert on love in its all its forms, and he picks it up like radiation. Crowley is the being of reason, a purely Cartesian mind, unable to sense love at all, and he really sucks at being lonely.

Angel and demon cannot even be seen together; it is considered treason. The consequences for traitors are clear: the utter obliteration beyond the destruction of a body (Episode 3). The dark innuendo is sprinkled throughout Season 1, mainly through Crowley's mutterings. The actual destruction sequence in Season 1, Episode 6 underscores the seriousness of the Problem.

Courtship and early stage of love

On the human level, in Season 1, both angels are presented to us in a courting relationship that goes from distrust to trust to closeness. The trope used here is a classic frenemies-to-lovers trope mixed with a relationship-based-on-intense-experiences setup (You've Got Mail and Speed 1 mélange, sorry for 1990s referencing…).

Season 1 is focused on Aziraphale realizing his feelings towards Crowley and acting on them. We do see the closeness and mutual infatuation building throughout the ages to the reciprocal realization in 1941 (Episode 3). We see growing together and growing apart until the relationship is cemented in courtship. At that point, we already know Aziraphale can sense flashes of love (Episode 2). He was saved by someone who cared and trusted him with his life. The books cut it for him as a declaration of sorts. However, Crowley is not that sensitive and needs something more than an "it was very kind of you" to understand that his angel loved him back. So he got the Holy Water some three decades later. That was it for him, an act of caring love (because it was spooky and he enjoys spooky…?). And he was quick to jump on it, so we got "You go too fast for me, Crowley." If someone wants to go Jane Austen trope, this season is full of Pride and Prejudice “deeds of love” and “preparing the ground so I can court you” acts.

That brought us to the dating stage that coincided with Armageddon affair. The whole pheromone-padded-love right there in front of our eyes, sexy blowing off the paint included, dreams of escaping together, will-they-will-they-not-fights. We also learn that Crowley knows Aziraphale loves him (bandstand scene). And that Aziraphale is cool with Crowley's feelings for him, taking them matter-of-factly (pub scene). They speak about friendship, however, which introduces cognitive dissonance into the trope and our human minds. But they are angels, and we know from Season 2 that their understanding of romantic love is blurry at best.

The love's happy endings are mirrored in the other two couples from Season 1 on display, but we, humans, still do not see anything palpable. Why?

On the purely thematic level, the Established Problem is the leading cause. Their "no-side" moment after the failed Armageddon lasts a day at most. They are still considered important enough to get obliterated by their previous employers. When they manage to escape their fates, they must "lie low." There are no human markers of what we would like to see as human dating and human love: kissing (in the rain… uhm), "I love you's" and such. Still, the nightingale sings in the end, which should give us, humans, a strong hint that there is something afloat there.

Relationship make-it-or-break-it stage

In Season 2, we get the long-term couple-in-the-making story. We see Crowley and Aziraphale past the courtship, settling into their long-term relationship (with an intense Fawlty Towers or I Love Lucy vibe). We learn more about their dark secrets (like hedonistic and lying Azirphale or loneliness-wary and kind Crowley), which aligns with how human relationships develop. In this stage, partners have been interacting for a long time, and the first pink glasses of romantic love change into a more realistic overview. This is when people decide if they can live with the natural person in front of them or they cannot. And they also understand that long-term relationships entail melting a part of themselves into a WE.

The whole Season 2 is a meta-commentary on how our human understanding of love is flawed.

First, we can see our angelical power couple getting interested in human love, of all things. In Season 1, they were interested in various other areas of human life, but not romantic love. Of course, they are pulled into this by the circumstances and Aziraphale's penchant for love in all its forms (I mean, doesn't he know about Sodoma and Gomorrah stuff??? He does, and he disapproves). So we get an angelic look at our human emotions through Jane Austen and Richard Curtis movies. The angels meddle with the lives of two humans (Nina and Maggie) to get the love outcome using the means they think should work. They get called out for it.

We also see them getting closer to each other the way long-term partners get. So we see their individual lives melt into one. As is customary in human relationships, their reactions to this process are different: Aziraphale, feeling the radiation of reciprocated love, is entirely at ease (as in "our car," "our bookshop"). While Crowley acts confused, trying to keep his own individual self while being a part of a "group of two." (cf. "C: (…)the precious peaceful fragile existence that I have carved out for myself here. A: I thought we carved it out for ourselves."). Aziraphale is way ahead in getting to the nesting stage.

I need to make a caveat here about the "living in his car" business as it is related to Crowley's slow change from "my existence/my car" to "we/our" thinking. The whole S2 plays out within a maximum of one week. Shax brings Crowley his mail for the first time (because she has no idea what to do with it) in Episode 1. And then again at the end of the Season. Usually, this type of mail comes at the same time in the month, once per month, so we can safely assume that Crowley has been living in his car for less than a month, probably around two weeks at the show's beginning. Why doesn't he move to the bookshop? I dare to say that, on the face of it, it is still the Established Problem. There has not been any clear resolution to that Problem in any episode post-trials, so Crowley and Aziraphale are not 100 percent sure whether it is safe to be openly together. "We've spent our existence pretending that we aren't" refers to this simple truth. They do not pretend to EACH OTHER; they pretend to the outer world because they live in fear of repercussion. Of course, on the thematic level, staying put in his Bentley also plays nicely as a metaphor for Crowley still struggling to fall into the "we" mindset.

The whole show is focused on love-blind Crowley naming his feelings in human terms (love, that is) and moving into the "we" stage. He is cued by Aziraphale, who is now bolder and less afraid of the consequences than he was in Season 1. Crowley was a Nothing-To-Lose lover in Season 1; now it is Aziraphale literally caressing him into an "us" (no episode passes without our angel touching his demon) and even getting him to dance. On this: Aziraphale is love-clever enough to dance and recreate the pattern of human love to experience it in a human way while giving us, humans, a lot of very needed cues. Crowley is human-love dumb, not an "expert." Btw this is how I read Aziraphale expression in the scene with Muriel, when he clearly thinks, "Are you really? Because I cannot tell…"

Nina makes Crowley aware that he looks like half of a human romantic partnership. Hearing that, he is so delightfully confused: it can be soul searching confusion (OK, right, love, and what should I do about it?) or alarm-bell confusion (OK, right, so we are in danger). And then she utters the key message of the show: "Other people's love lives always seem so much more straightforward than our own."

Nina and Maggie tell Crowley that he and Aziraphale don't talk to each other about being in love, assuming they should. This is a pure Emma-like storyline: Emma gave love advice eagerly while projecting her own expectations/issues/fears/beliefs/needs onto others. Nina and Maggie misread what is happening with our angelic couple because if the guys don't kiss and hold hands in the open, AND they don't live together (ouch), they are not an item in human understanding. They assume our angels have communication problems and should be declaring love for each other right on the spot. They know nothing of the Established Problem; they know nothing about 6000 years of ever-mastered communication skills that included numerous con acts for two (starting with Job and finishing with Antichrist) and soul-reading (I don't even like you – You do!), nor 50 years of courtship (roughly). They assume the right to interfere with angels' love life coming with naïve and intruding advice, the same way the angels had assumed that right in the first place. A perfect mirror.

When Crowley is conveniently nudged to act human in love, he goes for it with his usual fiery conviction. He just learnt that it is not the rain nor a dance after all, but… talking? OK, let's show Aziraphale these new skills! He starts his so-called confession in the spirit of "Let's get it done with and go to Ritz like humans in love and then maybe somewhere else not as humans." But he gets interrupted, and all spirals out of control (btw I do not share the Rejection trauma anymore, but I will post later why). But there is one crucial change in circumstances: the Established Problem is no longer valid (cf. Gabriel and Belzeebub). The fear is gone, at least in all appearances.

Angels don't understand human love, and humans do not understand angelic love. One lesson from Season 2 is that love can be different for everyone and that we should not apply our lenses and our understanding of love to any relationship. Dancing can be fruitless for some angels, and talking can be disastrous for some demons… I wonder now what way of expressing love finally works for angels. Jane Austen’s Persuasion themes start where Emma’s themes ends, in Episode 6, to be continued in Season 3. I hope so.

[lou-struck]

A Trivial Pursuit

Izuku Midoriya x reader

- It’s your first date with Izuku Midoriya, he wants to impress you in the best way he knows how, Nerdy Trivia

Wc: 1300+

Sorry if you saw this already, I forgot to queue it.

The street lights look blurry as you look out the back window of your cab, the rain pounding on the roof is doing nothing to cease the pounding in your heart. It’s your first date with Izuku Midoriya aka the Pro Hero Deku and you are running late. After what seemed like an eternity, your driver stops in front of the Pub where he asked you to meet. Ready to either spend the rest of the night with Izuku or drown your sorrows if he ended up leaving you to exit the cab paying your driver and hurrying inside before the rain-soaked you to the bone.

The bar is warmly lit and slightly crowded, stepping further in your eyes scan the room hoping that your date didn’t move on to greener- more punctual pastures. Until you meet the emerald green orbs of none other than Izuku. Upon seeing you he breaks out into a happy grin and slides out of the booth to come and greet you. His hair looks a little wet and his grey long sleeve shirt is speckled with water droplets as well so he must’ve been caught in the rain just as you had.

“Y/n, I.. I’m so glad you could make it I got worried about you once the rain started coming down!” He says quickly, “Have you paid for the cab yet, I could go out and do that for you?” He has a small blush on his cheeks

You smile at him and shake your head, “No, thank you Izuku. I already got it taken care of.” The two of you stand there kind of awkwardly for a few seconds. Before he guides you back to the corner booth he was sitting in prior to your arrival.

Sliding into the booth you get next to him you scoot a little far and your knees touch. His face turns beet red and he begins to apologize profusely despite your objections that it was an accident and it was just as much your fault as it was his.

A nice waitress breaks the cycle of cute apologies by bringing over a menu of appetizers. Izuku being the overly prepared bean he is takes it upon himself to order a plate of all the snacks so that you can try everything.

Looking around, you realize that the Pub is pretty crowded, groups of people are settling in ordering food looking very excited. There is a stage near the back with a projector and a large whiteboard with “Trivia Night!” written on it.

“ I guess there’s trivia here tonight,” you say “I wonder what the theme is?” you say munching on your food.

“It’s… All Might Trivia Night. I am sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.” he says with his eyes downcast. “I was kinda nervous for tonight so I asked some of my friends for advice, They said to impress you with something I’m good at.” He mumbles quietly

Zuku, that sounds like so much fun!” You exclaim “I’m not a super fan or anything like that but I am more than happy to help you out. You can probably win this thing with your eyes shut.

He looks at you with relief in his eyes. “So, your not mad, I know people don’t usually do something like this on a first date,” he asks still looking a bit guilty.

You place your hand on top of his, “Of course! Besides, I don’t really care what we do so as long as I get to do it with you.” His eyes soften as you make eye contact with him and you realize how forward you were. “Clearing your throat you were about to say something to save yourself from that but were quickly interrupted by the start of the competition.

Right off the bat, Izuku nails question after question with you cheering him on along the way. For the first time this evening, you see his confidence starting to show. He is enjoying himself to the fullest and so are you.

As the competition nears its end the last question appears on the projector and It is difficult. Even Izuku looks concerned as he furrows his brow rubbing his temples. He is extremely concentrated and the only thing you can do is think “it’s kinda hot”. When the time limit is up the host comes to collect the answers from those who attempted the question and smiles a bit once they look at Izuku’s board.

“Do you think you got it right?” you ask him as the host walks back up to the podium.

“I think so, I don’t even know if All Might knows this stuff about himself.” He says chuckling lightly.

A few taps on the podium signals to you that the results are in, Izuku was the only person in the whole pub to get the answer right. He grabs your hand excitedly as his wide smile flashes the room while the host compensates his victory with a large booklet of free food and drink certificates from around the area.

After paying his check he helps you out of the booth. You were ready to call a cab back to your building but he stops you.

“Would you like me to give you a ride home?” he asks kindly, normally getting a ride with a near-stranger on a first date would be a definite no-go, but with him, you feel safe. You nod your head and begin to head outside.

“Wait… It’s still raining outside. Here take this so you don't get cold.” he says nervously handing you his jacket, upon further inspection, it is Red Riot Merch. You find it absolutely adorable that he wears the hero merch of his classmates, but the cutest thing was that he had them autographed. Putting it on and going out into the rain the two of you head to his car where he rushes to open the door for you like the absolute gentleman he is.

Plugging in your address into his navigation the two of you warm up in the front seat of his car. Any of the previous awkwardness had faded between the two of you and he excitedly recounts the eventing to you making sure to tell you just how much fun he had with you tonight.

Seeing his eyes sparkle as he talks makes you pretty darn sure that you are in love with this man.

“I had a really great time tonight,” you tell him as you secretly breathe in his scent from the jacket.

“Does this mean we can go on another date then?” he asks nervously as you pull into your driveway.

“ I would like that, very much Izuku,” you answer as he springs up out of the car to get the door for you.

“Let me walk you to the door,” he says as you both head down the walkway. Upon arriving at your door the two of you make plans for another date later in the week, after all, he needs to make quick work of his prizes from the Trivia Competition.

Upon reaching your front too you notice that he starts to get nervous, he then shakes his head as if to purge any negative thoughts from his mind.

“Zuku, are you feeling alright?” you ask seeing him stop in his tracks.

“Yes, but... um... can I, may I please kiss you?” he stammers nervously. Wanting to make sure you are okay with his request.

You nod and say “Well, It wouldn't be a true first date if you don't, right?”

He takes this as a yes and closes the gap between the two of you, kissing you softly on the lips making sure to gently place his hand on your lower back. Pulling away his cheeks are a light pink and you can see his freckles up close.

He wishes you a goodnight and you head inside with a big dopey grin on your face which only gets bigger when you realize that you are still wearing his jacket.

[etoileholland]

Yours truly

Pairing: Tom Holland x reader

Word count: 5.1k

Summary: a letter box shaped bag prompts Tom to tell you just how much you mean to him

Warnings: none; it’s just my usual fluff :)

A/N: surprise, I’m back! It’s been a very long time since I’ve written something, and although the break was nice, I missed you all :( and since I don’t really know who to tag, I’m going to tag my old taglist + mutuals, but if you want to be added to my taglist please let me know!

While you and Tom were out spending the day going window shopping, you passed by the front window of a Kate Spade boutique, and a blur of red made you turn your head to see what was in the window. What you saw was so beautiful, it made you stop suddenly in your tracks.

Tom, who was holding your hand, was not expecting you to stop so suddenly. “Babe, you’re going to pull my arm out of its socket.” He joked, and was expecting you to reply, but instead you were silent. When he turned to see what you were looking at, your hand was pressed to the glass of the display, eyes wide and lips agape. A smile erupted on his lips as he watched how mesmerized you were by a handbag, and how awestruck you were by it.

It was as if you were a kid in a candy store, or maybe it was more like love at first sight. In fact, the way you were looking at the bag is the same way that he looks at you—full of love and adoration.

He knew he had to surprise you with it.

As he stood there with you, your gaze still fixed to the bag, he waited a minute longer until he decided to speak up. “It is a beautiful bag, huh?” At first you didn’t respond, nor did you show any sign of even hearing what he had said. “C’mon,” he said, giving your hand a squeeze and pulling you towards the entrance. “Let’s go take a look at it.”

That sentence snapped you out of your trance, and without skipping a beat, you stopped walking and stood in place. “Oh no, no, no, let’s not do that.” Your voice got a little louder with every no. “I don’t want to be disappointed by how expensive it is. It must cost at least £200 pounds.”

“I doubt-”

“It’s a Kate Spade,” you interrupted, “her bags are ridiculously expensive.” As you spoke, you continuously shook your head no. “I know it’s far too expensive, and I don’t want to be disappointed when I see the exorbitant price tag.” Your eyes became fixed to the pavement, and your eyebrows furrowed downwards, as well as your lips turning into a small frown. “Can we please leave?”

It pained Tom to see you so sad, especially since he could easily buy you the bag—hell, he could buy you a hundred of them, or even purchase everything in the store for you. It was no problem to him, but he knew that him buying you things made you feel uncomfortable, so he decided not to press the issue any further.

“Okay love, let’s go.” He took a step forward, but instead of following him, you stood there still, staring at the bag. A few seconds passed before you slowly took a step forward, and then walked with Tom away from the window display.

“Maybe one day I’ll see it in a consignment shop, and then I’ll be able to afford it.” You uttered under your breath, but it was just loud enough for Tom to hear it.

A week had passed, and Tom didn’t once stop thinking about the bag, and how much you pined over it. Just the night before, he had a dream where he was in his Spider-Man costume, and had broken into the store to get it for you. Of course, he wasn’t going to do that, but it was all he could think about, even in his dreams.

He knew he had to get it for you, because even though you tried to say you were okay without it, he knew it would make you beyond happy if you had it. Yet, he was aware that he couldn’t get it when you were with him, which seemed to be most of the time. He cherished spending time with you, but he just needed some time alone so he could get it.

While he was thinking of a plan, the opportunity arose on its own, no planning on his end needed.

“Your mum wants me to go shopping with her tomorrow to buy a gift for Paddy.” You announced as you walked into the room, and leaned against the door frame.

“Wait, she wants you to go with her, and not me?” He asked, hoping to feign some sadness, even though he was secretly relieved. He loved his mum, but shopping with her could easily become extremely stressful.

You shrugged your shoulders slightly, “I thought the same thing, but apparently she wants me to go with her. She said something about me being a ‘more attentive shopper’.” You said with air quotes, and a slight frown on your face.

Tom, who was sprawled out in his bed, positioned himself so that he could tilt his head up to see you. “Well, that’s odd. I can see she’s playing favourites.” He remarked, trying to not sound too relieved.

“That’s okay with you, right?” You questioned, eyes wide.

“Of course love, just don’t have too much fun without me.”

“I won’t, but let me just text her back and tell her that’s okay.” You bounded out of the room quickly, and when you left, he let out a small squeal. His plan was falling into place, and it seemed that the universe was on his side. He took a minute to think about his schedule tomorrow, and luckily he had the day off.

He was bound and determined to get the bag for you.

—

Almost immediately after you left the house to go shopping with his mum, Tom bolted out of the house and ran out to his car, quickly and messily trying to unlock the car door. When he situated himself inside the car, he pulled out of the driveway to head towards the Kate Spade boutique.

The way he was driving was downright terrible, and borderline reckless, but all he could think about was getting the bag for you. On his drive there, the thought of accidentally running into you crossed his mind, but he shook the thought away.

About twenty minutes later, he pulled into the parking garage, stopped the car, got out and locked it. He hurried up towards the entrance of the store, and rushed inside, tunnel vision consuming him. As he looked around frantically looking for the bag, he couldn’t seem to see it, but before he could have a chance to inquire about it, a store clerk came up to him.

“May I help you with something?” The assistant inquired, snapping Tom out of his tunnel vision.

“Actually, yes. My girlfriend saw a small purse in the window display last week, and I was wondering if you still happen to have it.”

“By any chance, did it look like a little post box with a letter inside?” She asked with a slightly sad grin, one that caught Tom’s attention.

“Um yes, precisely. Do you still have any?”

Judging by the assistant’s look, he already knew the answer—he was too late. “I’m so sorry, but there was only one left, and that kind woman at the register is about to purchase the last one.” She stated with sad eyes, and it took everything in Tom to not be equally as upset. “They sold so quickly that we had to request a few more shipments, but there were no more left to order yesterday.”

He looked over to see who the woman who was purchasing the last handbag was, and the woman looked back at him with apologetic eyes. It was a woman about the age of 80, and was a very spiffy dresser at that.

“Love, I am so sorry that I’m buying the last one, but I too have had my eye on it for quite a while.” She spoke just loud enough for Tom to hear her from the other side of the boutique, but just quiet enough for him to walk over closer to where she stood at the register. “Do you mind me asking why you wanted this bag? By the way you ran in here, it seemed like it was clearly an important thing to buy.”

“It was.” Tom answered back as he took a second to think about what he wanted to say. He felt so dejected that there weren’t any words to describe his situation, even though it was a very easy situation to understand. “Last week, I was window shopping with my girlfriend, and she saw this bag and immediately stopped in her tracks. She spent 10 minutes staring at it, or at least it felt that long.” He walked over closer to where the register was and leaned one arm against the counter. “She was so awe struck by it, but at the time she couldn’t afford it, and she refused to allow me to buy it.”

“That’s the mark of a remarkable young woman, you know. Most women would expect her man to buy her what she wanted, but the fact that she didn’t want to buy it really says a lot.” She carefully placed her hand on top of Tom’s in a reassuring way. “Cherish her forever.”

Tom’s vision became a bit blurry as he blinked away tears that were trying to form in his eyes. “I will, I promise.” He lightly sighed, allowing himself to take a second to think. “Although it’s a pretty new relationship, so I hope it works out.” His watery eyes cleared up, and he took one more audible breath. Just then, the kind woman gently placed her hand on top of his, and gave it a gentle pat. When he looked up at her, she was giving him a sympathetic smile.

“Trust me, love. I’ve been around long enough to know if a relationship will work out or not. I thought the same when I met my now husband when he and I were both 17. I was so worried thinking that it may not work out, but he had the faith to know that it would. And he was right, he usually always is, but I try not to tell him too much so that it doesn’t go to his head.” She laughed lightly, and Tom did as well. “All it takes is love, patience and perseverance. That’s the key to a lasting relationship.”

The assistant was moved by the woman’s touching story, and wiped away a tear off her cheek. The woman looked at her and smiled tearfully too. “How new is your relationship?” She asked.

“It’s felt like ages, but in a good way.” Tom answered with a smile forming on his lips. “But in all actuality, it’s been almost three months, but we met a month prior to dating.”

“So that is pretty new.” The kind old woman answered. “What do you love most about her?”

Love, Tom thought. He would be lying if he said that he didn’t think about all the things he loves about you, but to be honest, he hasn’t told you he loved you yet. He hasn’t wanted to rush anything, even though he’s sure he loves you. The idea of telling you that has scared him, because it always seems that when he tells someone he loves them, they disappear from his life forever, just like his previous relationships before. “Well, she’s so patient with me, and beyond understanding of my hectic life.”

“Go on,” the kind woman prodded, already knowing that he hadn’t told you he loved you yet, but wanting to help coax the feelings out of him.

“I have a stressful job, to put it lightly, and not once has she made me feel bad about having to reschedule a date. She’s also ridiculously intelligent, caring, and beautiful, and I wouldn’t know what to do without her, nor would I want to think about that.”

“Well, I can tell that you love her,” she answered, “and I hope I’m not prodding too much, but may I ask why you haven’t told her yet?”

Tom took a second to compose himself. “I’ve wanted to, but I didn’t want to rush anything. I don’t know if this is going to sound dumb, but I wanted to write her a letter telling her how I feel, and I was going to stick the letter into the letter box, which is super dumb I know but-”

“That’s not.” The woman choked out, dabbing at her eyes where they were starting to well up with tears. “That’s one of the sweetest things I have ever heard, and I am beyond happy to know that the younger generations are still just as sweet and chivalrous as the past ones were. At the time when I was dating my husband, he also wrote me a letter telling me he loved me as he went to fight in the war.” She took out a handkerchief from her coat pocket and dabbed at her eyes. “I wasn’t sure if I would ever see him again, but luckily he came home safely.”

“I’m happy he did.” Tom responded with tears in his eyes as well. “Thank you for sharing that with me.”

“You’re welcome.” She wiped her eyes once more, and motioned for the assistant, who was in the back of the store, to come over to where she and Tom were standing. “Letters are a great way to tell someone something, and I’m glad they haven’t died off with the younger generation.” The assistant came over to the woman, and looked to see what she may need.

“Can I please return this bag back to the store so that this young man can buy it instead?” The assistant hesitantly reached her arm out to take the bag, wanting to make sure that the woman really wanted to do so.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to take it from you.” Tom responded hesitantly, his voice upturning at the end of the sentence.

The woman waved her hand in front of Tom. “I’m positively sure. This will be the item that will make you cherish your relationship forever, and will even be your lucky charm.”

As the assistant returned the bag back to the store, Tom quickly reached out his arms and gave the woman a quick hug. “Thank you so much, I can’t thank you enough.” When he pulled away, she placed her hand on his forearm.

“You’re very welcome, and I wish you two a long and beautiful relationship.”

“Thank you again.” He responded quickly, and then a wave of realisation washed over him. “I just realised that I didn’t get your name, how awful of me.”

“Beth.” She answered, “and I already know your name, Mr. Tom Holland.” A look of confusion washed over Tom’s face, and before he could ask how she knew his name, she answered, “My granddaughter is a huge fan. I’ve seen all the Spider-Man movies with her in the cinema, and I must admit that you are a wonderful actor.”

Tom grinned his million dollar smile, and began to blush. “Why thank you Beth, I truly appreciate everything.”

The assistant rung up the bag for Tom, and after he paid for it, she wrapped it up nicely and put it in a colourful bag.

“Good luck with everything Mr. Holland, and when you and this girl get married, you better invite me to your wedding.” She rummaged through her bag, pulling out a pen and a piece of paper. “I mean it, you know. I better be there for the wedding.” As she said this, she wrote her name, address and phone number on it. “Promise me I’ll be the first person you call after you pop the question to her?” She slid the paper over to Tom and watched as he read it once before folding it nicely and placing it carefully in his wallet. “I promise I will Beth, I swear on it.”

—

Tom knew what he had to do, or rather, what to say. After his conversation with Beth in the boutique, it seemed as though the words were spilling out of his mouth, and the letter was practically writing itself in his mind. All he had to do now was actually buy something to write on.

He thought about buying some cute stationary to match the aesthetic of the bag, but he knew that the words were so loud in his head, that by the time that it would take for him to buy stationary, the words would be gone.

Jogging back out to his car, he began to rummage through the glove compartment in hopes of finding something, anything to write on.

The only acceptable piece of paper was actually a flyer from a chippy, and the only pencil he could find was a tiny one that’s used to keep the score in golf, but it’ll have to do. The words suddenly came to him, and he scribbled them down so he wouldn’t forget.

A fair amount of time must have passed, because it was now beginning to rain outside. The pattering of the light raindrops that were hitting the roof of the car made the small space feel more comfortable, and added the perfect amount of ambiance to continue writing. In fact, tear stains had made their way onto the paper, which surprised Tom, considering that he didn't even know he was crying. The emotions must’ve got the best of him, but he didn’t mind one bit.

At least now he had a physical reminder of how much he loved you.

Wiping the tears off his face, he took a sigh of relief. Writing that somehow felt liberating, and made him almost want to jump out of the car and start dancing in the rain. He felt on top of the world.

As he drove away from his parking spot, about a block and a half later, he looked up to see a stationary store and parked the car in front of the store, and ran inside.

—

Half an hour later, he made it back home, bag and letter in hand. You were still out with his mum, which to be honest wasn’t shocking. I bet she’ll get home well past midnight, knowing my mum, he thought.

Harry, Tuwaine and Harrison went out to go golfing, so Tom had the whole house to himself. He plopped down on the sofa and pulled out the new stationary and pens that he bought specifically for this.

While at the shop, he found a set of letters that looked almost identical to the letter keychain on the purse, and picked out a black pen. He carefully wrote the new letter with penmanship so precise, it made him feel as though he was back in primary school.

About twenty minutes had passed, but the letter was finally done. He had embellished the envelope by adding a couple hearts in different colours, and then carefully slipping the letter inside. Lastly, he wrote your name in cursive on the envelope, and then placed the completed letter inside the bag, right where the letter compartment was.

After neatly reassembling the bag back in its original wrapping, Tom placed the bag inside his closet and thought of a good time to give it to you. The best time, he thought, was to give it to you next week, right before he was set to fly back to Atlanta to finish filming.

—

“I wish you didn’t have to go.” You whined, which was slightly muffled by Tom’s pillows. Tom was sprawled out on the floor, stuffing different articles of clothing into his luggage.

“I wish I didn’t either darling.” He sighed, “but I promise I’ll be home before you know it.” He answered, knowing that he wasn’t entirely telling the truth. He would be gone for at least 3 months, which was going to feel like an eternity. The thought alone made him almost start crying, but he was trying to stay strong for you. He also couldn’t help thinking that you would leave him, since all of his past girlfriends left him due to the distance. It was just a matter of time before you did the same, but he tried not to dwell on that nagging thought. He knew you were patient, but he wasn’t sure how long that would last.

“Maybe I could come visit you, you know, when I have a chance?” You asked hesitantly, knowing full well that you were busy with work and school.

“I wish you could, but we both know that isn’t plausible right now.” It sounded harsher than he had intended to be, and he mentally grimaced. You, however, knew he was right. He had told you before that he doesn’t want you to sideline your own life because of his.

“I know.” You answered dejectedly, “but if and when I have a break, I’ll come out to see you.”

Tom finished folding his clothes, and stood up. Without saying a word, he looked over at you and noticed that your face was squeezed against his pillow, your eyes closed. And so; he went to his closet and moved the sheets that were covering your present. In one motion, he grabbed the bag and turned on his heels, and made his way back to his bed.

Without you noticing, he sat down and placed the bag in front of you, and poked your shoulder until you looked up at him.

“Hmm?” You inquired. Instead of responding, Tom scooted the bag closer to you, while sitting down on the corner of his bed. “What is it?”

“Sit up.” He instructed, and as you did so, you saw a gift bag placed in front of you. “Open it please.” He insisted, watching intently as you began to take the tissue paper out of the gift bag.

“Tom, this isn’t what I think it is, right?” You trailed off, and while Tom didn’t give you a verbal answer, it was written all over his face.

“The suspense is killing me,” he pleaded, “please open the bag.”

You did as you were told, and gasped when you pulled the purse out of the gift bag. It was even prettier in person, and somehow more breathtaking.

“Babe, I, what?” You choked out, unable to say anymore. A part of you was so happy that he gifted you with this, but another part of you knew how expensive the bag was.

“Now before you get mad, I know you said you didn’t want me to buy it for you, but I just knew that you wanted it, so I just had to treat you.” He stammered out, “please don’t hate me.”

Overcome with emotion, you threw your arms around Tom’s neck. He wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you into his lap. “I love it.” You whispered into his neck, and placed a kiss on his neck.

“Promise me you’ll keep it?” He asked, “I need you to promise me you won’t try to return it.”

“I promise I won’t. I’ll cherish it forever.”

—

Tom left the house at 2am, and was headed towards the airport. Leaving you was the hardest thing that he’s ever had to do, but he didn’t have much of a choice.

As you laid in his bed, bundled up in his sweatshirt, you clutched the bag to your chest. It was such a thoughtful gesture for him to buy it for you, but a piece of you did feel guilty that he spent the money on you.

The words he told you not to return the bag echoed in your head, and even though he made you swear not to do so, it did cross your mind. So, you thought, the only way you would be less tempted to return it is if you emptied out your old bag and put your belongings in that one instead. It took you a few minutes to do so, but now seeing your things in there made it feel more like yours.

Doing so tired you out, as it was now almost 3am. Clutching the bag as you settled into bed, you drifted off soundly, mentally preparing for your day tomorrow.

—

Waking up without Tom felt so strange, not having him there next to you. You checked your phone and saw a text from him, saying he loved you and landed safely, complete with a ton of heart emojis. It put a smile on your face, and quickly you typed back that you loved him more, and wished him luck on his day ahead.

About an hour later, you were off to your 9am philosophy class, one that you typically dreaded going to. Sometimes it was a heavy class to start the day off, especially when the coursework focused on the depressing aspects of life and hardship. It was a class that you always hoped to skip, but Tom always made sure you didn’t skip, no matter how badly you wanted to.

As you walked up to the door, you began to slow down. Was it worth going to class, knowing that you’re already pretty bummed out because Tom is away?

When the thought crossed your mind, you could hear Tom’s voice in your head convincing you to go. So, you drudged your way to the door and pulled the handle.

You walked to your seat and slumped into your chair, and placed your new bag on the empty seat next to you. When you went to grab your notebook and pencil, you looked up to see your friend Ella sitting in front of you, body turned to see you.

“Ooh, cute bag!” She exclaimed, eyes bright and cheerful.

“Thank you,” you answered, “it was a gift.” Your tone was a bit more curt than you had expected it to be, but you didn’t have enough energy to try to sound happier.

“Wow, I wish someone would gift me a present that nice.” Ella responded.

The girl sitting next to Ella, one that you didn’t personally know, turned around to see your bag.

“My sister has that same bag, and she loves it. It even has a secret compartment inside the letter keychain.” When she said that, your brows furrowed.

“Hmm, really? I didn’t know that.” You reached for your bag and placed it on your lap. When you pulled out the letter compartment, you noticed that, indeed, there was a hidden zipper. You slowly opened the zipper, and saw that there was an envelope inside. “Well that’s odd, there’s a letter inside, I didn’t know it came with one.” When you took a closer look, you saw that your name was written there, in what looked like Tom’s handwriting.

“It didn’t,” the girl replied, “or at least, it wasn’t supposed to.”

Ella gasped dramatically, “Maybe it’s from the person who gave you the gift—you should read it.”

Luckily, you didn’t have to tell her no, because at that moment, the professor began to start his lecture. You zipped the zipper shut and placed the bag next to you, although you noticed your heart was racing. The thought of Tom writing you a letter made you feel giddy, and in a way, saddening. It made you realise that he wasn’t here with you, but instead thousands of miles away. The class went by ridiculously slowly, but when the professor wrapped up his lecture, you bolted out the door. You sped walk to the nearest bench underneath a pine tree, and hurriedly sat down, reaching for the letter.

He had placed the envelope in there neatly, and even wrote your name in cursive. There were little hearts drawn all over the envelope, even going as far as addressing it from Atlanta, as if he really sent it through the post to you.

The attention to detail already made tears fall onto your cheeks, knowing that Tom really went out of his way to write you a letter. Carefully, you pulled the letter out of the envelope, straightening it a bit before reading it.

My eternal love,

I’m glad you found this letter, sealed and ready for you to read it. I had thought about giving it to you before I left, but I hope this makes it even more special.

When I went to get the bag for you, I had a long conversation with a woman who reminded me how important love is, and how I shouldn’t take it for granted. And, after talking to her, she knew that we had the kind of love that will last a thousand years, and span a million lifetimes.

I now just realised that of course, our relationship is still relatively new, but she just knew that what we have is special; and well, I hope so too.

All my thoughts are consumed by you and you alone; about how happy you make me feel, how safe and secure I feel in your arms, and with you, I feel that anything is possible. The world seems kinder and nicer with you in it, and I feel a sense of divine happiness that I’ve never felt before when we’re together.

I haven’t said this to you yet, or at least not out loud, but I love you. I really, truly, love you. I’ve never been more sure of anything, but this I know indefinitely.

I love all of the little things about you-how you are incredibly patient, loving, and caring. I love when you run your fingers through my hair after a long day, calming me down instantly. I love how you give me your million dollar smile when I kiss you on the cheek, and how you make me feel calm and safe in my extremely hectic life.

All I know is that I love you, through and through, and I hope you feel the same way too.

Forever yours- no matter how far away I am from you,

Tom x

By now, you could hardly read through the tears. You had no idea he was so poetic, and how open he was being with you right now, and the image of him writing this heartfelt letter brought happy tears to your eyes. He loved you so immensely, and it was so comforting to have him say it.

As you wiped the tears with the sleeve of your sweater, you knew you had to tell him you loved him back. And so, you opened up your text messages, found your guys conversation, and voice messaged back,

“I love you more.”

——

mes anges (taglist): @scarletxwidow @sinisterspidey @cali-holland @duskholland  @yourstrulyamour​ @determined-overthinker​

[oddaodd]

· A Dress Made Out Of Daffodils ·

Summary: A tipsy reader feels guilty for not being ready to sleep with Tommy after flirting with him and taking him to her house but he is understanding and loving about it.

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol and smut, nothing too graphic though.

·

Dancing freely with the aid of a couple (or more) drinks on a Friday night is the perfect way to end the week if you asked Y/n. Every weekend she could be seen dancing at The Garrison or even at her own home if she wasn’t feeling like being surrounded by people.

Thomas knew Y/n as Ada’s clumsy optimistic friend who sometimes helped around in the shop and joined his family for dinner. There wasn’t a person more different from him if you asked him. But still he felt himself drawn by her, his entire family did for that matter.

Every time she visited she brought flowers, so the Shelby household was never short on flowers. Sometimes Arthur and John would tease Tommy about how his eyes never seemed to leave Y/n when he was around.

It wasn’t any different during The Garrison’s reopening. Once jolly boisterous and tipsy Y/n, dressed in a beautiful yellow dress caught his attention, his eyes couldn't leave her. His stare must have been intense for at some point her eyes met his, an instant smile etched on her painted lips. Finishing her drink and leaving it on the bar she made his way to him

“You should be dancing Tommy” she said stretching her hand with confidence that she wouldn’t have had if it wasn’t for the whisky.

He took her hand but stayed where he stood “I’m fine here”

“Oh come on, its your grand reopening after all” she smiled, tugging slightly at his hand.

With a playful roll of the eyes, Tommy succumbed to her and soon they were both dancing in the middle of the room amongst the mass of happy customers. Tommy had never danced with her before but as she danced that night with him he was convinced he could dance with her forever.

A few drinks later Y/n found herself alone with him outside The Garrison with the excuse of needing a cigarette, but before she allowed herself to think about it too much she pressed her lips against Tommy’s. A familiar feeling of desire clouding her senses when he kissed her back. Next thing she knew she was fumbling with her keys before opening her door and allowing Tommy inside.

He pushed her onto her bed and climbed on top of her, his hands roaming her body as his mouth trailed kisses from her neck to her lips.

However, as Tommy’s breath tickled her exposed cleavage, Y/n began to panic. There she was in her room with the man she had always fantasized about and yet she couldn’t shake off the nerves that began climbing her body. Nobody had kissed her the way Tommy was kissing her, no man had ever even been inside her room. She wanted to feel it all, but she could still feel the warm cloak of booze that was numbing her from feeling things entirely.

“Wait” she breathed, feeling her heart pounding violently at the base of her throat. He’d be upset for sure, she knew. After flirting with him all night and accepting his invitation to come inside anyone would call her a tease, and not the good kind, she thought sourly.

“Are you alright?” He asked startled by her tone scanning her face, which was ridden with a mixture of embarrassment and guilt. Sitting next to her, he allowed her to sit up.

“Yeah” she said avoiding his eyes “I’m just too tipsy for this” Bullshit, she was too nervous. Now after having tasted his lips and felt his touch she knew she would never forgive herself if when wanting to revisit this very moment she was impeded by a blurry recollection.

“Sorry” she sighed when she was met by silence that she thought meant annoyance but was actually contemplation. The alcohol still pumping though her body infused with many ´what ifs´ that sent her down a rabbi thole of dreadful assumptions. Tears began prickling her eyes at the situation she had put herself in.

“It’s alright Y/n” he said a bit taken aback by what was going on, he tilted her head with his thumb so he could look at her eyes.

An alarm was set off when he saw how glossy they were. “Did I hurt you?”

“No” she said shaking her head softly “No, its just … I’m not used to this” she mumbled gesturing between the two of them “ I don’t usually go home with men and you are so.. so I really like you and I don’t want to do this and then regret it because I am tipsy and can’t remember”

A newfound warm feeling flooded tommy’s senses and suddenly he felt he could read Y/n like an open book.

“its really alright, Y/n. We can just sit and drink and talk”

“I think it’d be unwise for me to keep drinking” she contemplated dreading the idea of another drink.

“It doesn’t have to be alcohol, love” he suggested softly “do you have tea?”

“I do” she smiled. Feeling her nerves softening “but I don’t feel like making it”

“I can make some”

“Can you just hold me?” She asked and regretted it immediately thinking it was something odd to ask a person you weren’t that close with, but she didn’t have time to criticize her own request because Tommy’s arms were already pulling her closer to him.

Lying on her chest and listening to his heartbeat, Y/n felt at ease and finally allowed herself to calm down.

“This is exactly what I imagined your home to be like” Tommy mused, his fingers tracing soft circles on her back against the fabric of her yellow dress.

“Do you spend a lot of time thinking about my home?” She asked cheekily.

Tommy chuckled “It suits you, is what I meant”

The next morning Y/n woke up in her bed still in her dress, but no Tommy next to her. Making her way downstairs to get a glass of water she thought of what had happened and how very surreal it all seemed.

When she walked into the kitchen she found a daffodil resting on her table atop of a note in Tommy’s handwriting.

“You should wear that yellow dress more often”

·

@captivatedbycillianmurphy @peakyxtommy @nyotamalfoy @writeroutoftime @babylooneytoonz

[onewithnomightypowers]

Old Habits

pairing: Tom Holland x fem!reader

summary: Old habits come back when you meet an ex lover after a long time. Conversations feel like you never stopped talking to them. Sometimes you have to see them one last time to say goodbye like you mean it but most of the time it doesn’t go as planned.

warning: drinking

words: 2.1k

a/n: could be read as part 2 of last kiss but is a stand alone. got a bit poetic at the end. hope you guys like it. and as always, love reading your opinions/reactions. also asks are open. (gif not mine)

masterlist 

'@tomholland2013 posted a story'

'@tomholland2013 posted a story'

 She picked up her phone to open Instagram. Yes, Y/N still had notifications on for his account even after they were broken up for months. Classic Tom. 

 He posted two of the same picture on his story. No one understood how that would happen almost every time, not even the people working at Instagram to whom they contacted about the glitch.

 Tom had his hair slicked back, standing in a white t-shirt next to Harry, his brother, giving a million-dollar smile. They were holding a clapperboard together. There was text on the picture too, 'day 1 let's go!!' She smiled to herself. Just because they weren't together doesn't mean that she wasn't allowed to feel happy for his achievements. Even though she wishes to know all these big things from Tom himself she is, unfortunately, left here, watching a small part of his life flash in front of her for less than thirty seconds.

 "Are you listening?" Hope, Y/N's date said.

 "Yeah, I'm sorry. You were saying?" Y/N placed the phone back where it was resting, next to the cold wine bottle.

 "You seem distant," they said.

 When she 'met' Hope (she only really met them 30 minutes ago), Y/N wasn't looking for love, just sex, and that is what online dating specializes in. She hoped Hope knew what they were signing up for, sexual intimacy and nothing else.

 "It doesn't matter does, does it? We both know what we are here for. Why not just cut the chase," Y/N replied.

--

It was early in the morning, the sun had yet to shine in its full glory. Y/N could only think of the first time she stayed over at Tom's old apartment but then she turned her head only to find Hope's naked body next to her. Her heartbeat accelerated with the realization that he was not hers anymore. Being in a foreign environment didn't help her growing anxiety, twisting and turning her intestines.

 It's been four months, her feelings for Tom refuse to quit on her because she knows she could never quit on them, on him, even if he has. He probably has already found someone else in Canada, she thought. She didn't want him anymore but she still needed him, one last time just to teach her stupid heart how to say goodbye.

 Y/N wore her clothes and picked up her shoes, going on a trail to find Hope's door to get out before they wake up. Climbing down the stairs, she took out her phone from the back pocket of her jeans.

 '5 new messages from Sam' 7 hours ago

Sam: hey

Sam: ik it's late

Sam: I am going for a run tmr morning @6

Sam: do you wanna come?

Sam: will go to the new coffee house near my house after that

 Y/N texted him back

Y/N: I'll meet you at the coffee place

Sam: come fast. already here

--

Sam and Y/N were standing in the queue to place their orders. “You look especially shitty today,” Sam said, running his right hand through his sweaty hair.

“I haven’t been home yet,” Y/N reasoned her appearance.

 His mouth formed an ‘o’ shape. The person in front of them left the queue, they moved towards the counter. “One hazelnut latte, double shot with skimmed milk,” Y/N gave her order.

 “And you?” the cashier’s question directed to Sam.

 “I’ll have a matcha latte with oat milk”

 Sam turned to Y/N, “Harrison got me on matcha, and now I can’t go back to coffee”

 They paid their dues and moved over to the barista counter to collect their order.

 “So, what were you doing last night?” Sam inquired.

 “I was on a date, it isn't a big deal though. Just had some needs to take care of”

 “Oh, was it any good?”

 “It was fine. I was distracted the whole time. Saw Tom’s story about halfway into the bottle of merlot. Couldn’t stop thinking about him”

 “Seems…sad. But you know Tom is coming back for the Christmas weekend, I think. He might attend Harrison’s Christmas eve party”

 “One hazelnut latte and one matcha latte,” someone behind the counter screamed.

 “That’s us,” Sam raised his voice.

--

Harrison had a bucket inside his house, under a sign that said 'drop your tracking devices here' with an arrow pointing to the bucket. Y/N dropped her phone on a pile of roughly fourteen others. Debating whether to see Tom's face was something she wanted or not made her late and not very fashionably.

 The house was decorated with empty liquor bottles along with red and green streamers from one wall to another. Everyone was drunk in their best dress. There were no signs of Tom yet. Y/N took a deep breath, walking towards the kitchen to get herself some liquid courage to help her socialize.

 The kitchen was rather scarcely populated. Empty glasses were lined up next to the sink. Are they clean or used? Bending down, Y/N opened the refrigerator to see if Harrison had any chilled wine. No luck. "Hey," a familiar voice was heard.

 She looked up at the familiar stranger.

 "Hey Tom," she smiled. The refrigerator light falling on Y/N made her blush visible.

She grabbed a half-cut lemon placed in the egg tray.

 “How have you been?" Tom asked leaning back on the kitchen counter, observing her movements.

 Y/N walked towards the sink to grab herself a crystal glass hoping for it to be clean. "Just busy with work these days"

 "I heard you got a job at Condé Nast, is that true?" he took a sip from his beer.

 "Well, you heard right. You are looking at their new senior brand manager for digital", she said proudly.

 Tom hugged her from the side she was holding a knife to cut the lemon for her gin and tonic. "That's great darling! You always wanted to work there"

 Darling. The butterflies in her stomach were fluttering like the first time she met Tom.

 "I saw your story the other day. You started filming your script, right?" she dropped the lemon in the glass.  

 "Yup, it was a long time coming," he grabbed the knife she was using and washed it without even knowing. He was so used to Y/N never washing utensils after using them and, he would always have to clean up after her.

 "Congrats on that babe!" The word 'babe' just slipped out of practice.

 Y/N grabbed a Bombay Sapphire standing still on the marble slab. The blue of the bottle shinning even in the dim-lit room.

 "I missed you," Y/N made eye contact, screwing the cap back on. A long, silent pause.

 I miss you too, so very much

 She cleared her throat, "so, how long are you staying?"

 "Going back Monday morning"

 She opened a can of tonic water.

 "Are you seeing someone?" Tom asked.

 "Wouldn't you wanna know" a smirk on her face grew. "I've been out on few dates, nothing serious. What about you?"

 "Met this girl online, dated for a bit but, she wanted something I couldn't give to her"

 Y/N scoffed, "did she have a foot fetish or something?"

 "No, Y/N. She wanted love, not my feet" they both laughed.

 "On that topic..." Tom calmed himself, "...I was listening to this song a few weeks ago and, there was this line, 'the smell of your hair reminds me of her feet' and it made me think of you"

 "I reckon," she took a sip of her gin and tonic.

 "No, seriously, I really related to that line. No matter how many people I hook up with, it will be hard to find the type of intimacy I shared with you. I still relate to it"

 "I hate going on walks alone and having faceless dreams," Y/N blurted, lacking a proper reaction.

 "You're still the face of all my fantasies," Tom confessed.

 None of them knew what to say next. Anything they thought of saying now included walking over the blurry line of exes to lovers.

 "You look pretty"

 "Classic me, had a glow up after getting my heartbroken"

 "You always looked this pretty. You are beautiful," Tom assured her. The 'heartbroken part did not sit well with him. He already felt guilty for taking a job across the pond which was a great opportunity for him to grow but was only possible by severing his ties with Y/N.  

 --

It had just started snowing on Boxing Day. Tom was alone in his cold home, boiling a pot of ramen noodles. He took out his phone and snapped a picture of the burning stove with the pot on top.

Tom: *attached photo*

Tom: I come back after months and my family leaves me alone with no food

Y/N: you should add a poached egg

Tom: Thanks. I shall.

Tom: I think I made too much ramen for me

Tom: do you wanna come over and share?

 Her indecision was visible by the coming and going of the gray dots. Then finally, Tom could tame his anxiety by her simple reply.

 Y/N: sure.

--

There was a loud knock on the door. Tom put two bowls of hot ramen on the dining table and went to open the door. Behind the door, Y/N was standing with her hands inside her brown checker coat. There was dust of snow sitting on her shoulders. Her braided hair was made by the most anxious hands in town.

 The door opened and, Tom’s hands flew to take Y/N in his arms. They hugged like little kids hug their parents after being away from each other, for them, an eternity. It did feel like an eternity to them too but, they hadn’t forgotten each other’s touch.

 “I parked my car at the church, couldn’t find any spot here ‘cause of the snow," she pulled out.

 “The snow seems to be gaining momentum.”

 Y/N hummed in agreement. She took off her coat and hung it in the Holland’s coat closet.

 “Come on, the ramen is getting cold,” she followed tom into the kitchen.

 They sat adjacent on the wooden table in comfortable silence. Tom used chopsticks and, Y/N used a fork. Only the occasional noodles falling in the broth were heard, along with the gushing of wind.

 “It’s really spicy for me,” Tom said.

 “Yeah, I can see your ears turning red.”

She still remembers 

 Y/N raised her hand to cover her mouth while yawning.

 “Since you made the food, I’ll do the dishes,” she got up, grabbed their bowls, and walked over to the sink.

 Wearing the gloves, she turned to Tom, “it was quite tasty”.

 Tom gave her a smile.

 She spread the soap on the dishes and turned the tap on. Tom pushed his chair back to get up.

 “Have you made any friends at your new job,” he jumped and sat on the counter next to Y/N.

 “Yeah, sort of. Kyara works there too so, I have just made her friends my friends,” she washed his chopsticks.

 “That’s good. Have you talked to Emily after the wedding? She told me they are planning on adopting.”

 “They invited me over for dinner when they got the approval from the agency. Kyara made this amazing Hyderabadi biryani, it was her mum’s recipe so, it was obviously better than the restaurant”

 “God! You and your love for Indian food”

 Y/N removed her gloves, “I should go. Thanks for the ramen, by the way”

 “Are you sure you can go out in this weather?”

 “Yeah I think," she started walking out of the kitchen.

 Tom grabbed her hand. “Stay”, his voice was like cotton.

 Y/N turned and made contact with his pleading eyes. She moved closer to him. “Please”, he said. They both were inching in to lock their desperate lips.

--

Y/N did not notice when she had fallen asleep talking to Tom. Their naked bodies were covered by the white comforter. Her eyes slowly opened to a boy with brown eyes and messy hair looking at her.

 “I like it when you sleep. I love watching you sleep”

 She chuckled. “That’s a bit creepy, don’t you think?” She had a sleepy voice.

 “You look so serene, the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I could stare at you for eons”

 “But love, I'm only here till the snow settles,” she caressed his cheeks.

“Then the cold shall frost our limbs," he leaned in to kiss her.

tags: @elios-timotea​

[nevertheless-moving]

Suicidal Misunderstanding Part Three: SW Time Travel AU #27

Part One

Part Two

Obi Wan woke with a dry mouth and a moderate headache. A fairly typical morning these days. 

He peered around his bedroom in the temple confused. Wasn’t he just with Cody? Shouldn’t he be on the Negotiator? No wait, the war was over, Cody tried to kill him, and the Negotiator was a part of the Imperial Armada, of course he wouldn’t be there. He closed his eyes, snuggling back under the covers. Before he could drift back to sleep, his sluggish mind processed that last thought. 

He BOLTED upright in bed. The temple had been razed, his personal chambers scorched with particular thoroughness. Just being on Coruscant was an automatic death sentence. Faint tendrils of panic began to curl around his throat before he remembered his decision to give Spice a try. He had reasoned that he should probably find at least one pleasure in his new life, instead of focusing incessantly on what was lost. 

So what if he lost a few brain cells? Good riddance. 

Obi-Wan had been a bit nervous, but this had ended up being his best decision in years. His goodbye to Cody had been painful, but deeply cathartic. Spice Hallucination Anakin didn’t scream like Nightmare Anakin, and the color of his eyes was perfect. Far better final memories to cling to than reality- a reminder of the good times. Comforted, he relaxed backwards in bed, pulling his blankets back around him.

He LURCHED out of bed, covers tossed aside, movement a blur.

He was still hallucinating?!? Spice shouldn’t last in the system this long! He might’ve been uncertain about whether he was supposed to smoke or snort the substance but it was a well known fact that its exhaustive but rapid passage through the body was half what made it so addictive. If nothing else, his well-restedness and thirst indicated it had been at least six hours. He looked frantically around the room, searching for some thread of unreality to pull at.

This...was not good. Hadn’t the subconscious manifestations of his friends mentioned drugs that interacted poorly with force users last night? He had dismissed it at the time but...

He clearly was stuck in some sort of drugged fantasy combined with force-enhanced memory recall. Kriff, he had to wake up in the real world before he died of an aneurysm. Or just dehydration.

He sat on the ‘temple floor’ to meditate. This could be tricky as he couldn’t risk lowering his outer shields to reach out to reality. It would be deeply embarrassing as well as horrifying if the Emperor managed to find him and, by extension, Luke because he got stuck in a bad spice trip.

The door to his room clicked open quietly. 

“Oh! You’re awake. Sorry to come in without knocking, Master. I wanted to let you sleep, but I’ve been checking on you every two hours to make sure you were still, you know, breathing. You were...pretty out of it last night and I would be a pretty bad ‘best friend in the whole galaxy’ if I let you choke on your own vomit, right?” His blue-eyed Padawan explained with a grin.

Obi-Wan just stared. Oh this- this hurt. It was easier last night, when the whole fantasy had a kind of drunken blurriness. Sleeping and waking had brought sober clarity to the dream world. He could see the bags under Anakin’s eyes as well as the sheepish slouch of his shoulders as he instinctively ducked at the door frame. It was just so real.

“Obi-Wan? Are you feeling ok? Do you still feel drunk?” Anakin asked concerned.

Obi-Wan shook his head. He hesitated, before deciding to just go along with the interaction. He didn’t want to risk his subconscious throwing a less idylic scene at him by pretending to ignore this one. And besides, last night had been, all totaled, a huge relief- an unburdening of things left unsaid. This was probably the closest thing to therapy available to him these days, he might as well take advantage.

“I’m just...processing. Not to mention dealing with some mild dehydration.” He finally answered.

“Processing, huh? So does that mean you, uh, remember last night?” Anakin asked nervously.

“I do.” Obi-Wan smiled gently. As heart-wrenching as this was, it was also adorably sweet. Maybe it was worth it to push off waking for a little while. He could get some closure, maybe even work through some of the past to see where the two of them had gone wrong. It might even be helpful for Luke! Force willing, he would probably end up training Anakin’s son someday.

(the boy wouldn’t have many masters to choose from)

If this dream world could help him figure out specifically how he had failed as a Master, then he owed it to the galaxy to see it through. Satisfied, he resolved to let the fantasy play out. At least for a few more more hours. And...he had missed what Anakin had said. Wonderful start.

“I’m very sorry, Anakin would you mind repeating that? I was still a little distracted, but I promise, I’m focused on you now.”

Anakin shuffled nervously. “It’s nothing.”

Obi-Wan tried to project reassurance without actually projecting. “Please Anakin, I’d like to hear what you have to say. I know I wasn’t the most observant or approachable Master, and I’m sorry for that. But I have always cared about your thoughts and feelings.” It was a struggle and the words caught in his throat, but the raw burn of the apology was cleansing in an almost addictive way.

Anakin flushed. “Did you mean everything you said?” he asked nervously.

“I’d...rather not talk about seeing the destruction of the temple, seeing you... Maybe later...but please, I just don’t want to focus on it while I’m sitting here, looking at you,” Obi-Wan said quietly.

“That actually wasn’t what I was talking about,” Anakin responded quickly. “I mean, I do want to help you with that at some point, but I get not wanting to talk about visions, even if you should probably should. Of course if you do want to talk about that stuff, that’s more important, but since you don’t we can talk about the other stuff you mentioned. I was more referring to, you know, us, and what you said about our friendship?” his voice got progressively higher the longer he rambled. 

Obi-Wan thought back. “Well some of it is a little hazy, but overall yes. I...for a very long time I’ve considered you my best friend, and its not so easy for me to let go of my affections. I miss spending time with you; there are times I turn to say something and am still shocked you’re not there. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, with real words, how much I cared. I’m sorry I didn’t hug you as much as I wanted, looking back that was a nonsensical Jedi custom. It’s not in the code; it’s just an affectation of dignity. All things considered, the fact that you often snuck out to see Padme doesn’t really bother me.” He paused. “Was that everything?”

“Oh. Yeah, that pretty much covered everything.” Anakin looked embarrassed, but happy. “I wasn’t sure if you were just saying that stuff because you were drugged, or really drunk or something.”

“No, I meant what I said. I suppose it just took an altered state for me to relax enough to actually say it instead of just thinking at you and assuming you would know. I must admit, its difficult for me to maintain this emotional honesty without feeling drunk, but it’s good. This is good.”

“Ah, that’s... wow. So you weren’t drugged? Cody was concerned you seemed to off for much you actually drank.”

Obi-Wan frowned. Hadn’t that been a trip? Vision blurring from desert hovel to some nameless Catina he once visited with Cody. The continuity since then was almost unsettling. But, then again, Obi-Wan always did have a remarkable talent for self-delusion, didn’t he. He waved away the concerns.

“My substance consumption was entirely deliberate and exactly what I needed. There might have been some unknown additions with some unforeseen after-affects, but like I said- I’m not drunk. I’m clear minded and in full control right now and I knowingly accept the current fallout from whatever I took. I could meditate and force purge to completely recenter, but I think it would be far wiser to just see where this goes. Do you disagree, Anakin?”

Anakin grinned widely. “Whatever you say, Obi-Wan. Just remember this is your idea. Also, I’m taking you to the healers tonight if you’re not completely back to yourself.”

Obi-Wan signed, “If I’m not back to myself in 12 hours, than I fully agree that’s a problem worthy of the halls of healing.”

“Right,” Anakin nodded decisively, “I’ll go get you some water then comm Cody to tell him you’re still alive.

Obi-Wan smiled weakly in response. This wasn’t just a hashed up memory; the responsiveness was more that. He quickly got dressed, hands lingering over soft fabrics and sand-free linens.

Anakin dropped off a cup of water; Obi-Wan sipped at it hesitantly. Dear force, this was dangerously vivid. It actually felt like a relief in his parched mouth. Clearly his subconscious was pulling out all the stops to trap him in this soft delusion. He would have to deal with the thirst and hunger until he woke up- it was probably the firmest link he had to his real body.

He took one last look around before rushing out of his room, eager to take advantage of the time.

Anakin looked nervously up from the comm when Obi-Wan started pulling his boots on. “You’re not going out in the temple like this, are you?”

“Of course! I want to visit the gardens and the Room of a Thousand Fountains. Not to mention spend some time with a few of the other Jedi. You might still be the dearest being in my heart, but there were other Jedi that I care for, and dammit I’m going to tell them that.” He finally finished lacing up his left leg and moved to the right.

Anakin was dumbstruck, presumably as burnt by the ‘dearest being’ comment as Obi-Wan was. Then he rallied, “Wow, wow, No. You are not running around the temple drugged so you can, I don’t know, give Mace Windu a hug. I thought when you said you were going to ‘deal with the fallout' from whatever the kriff you’re still on, you meant you were going to lounge around the quarters all day!”

His former padawan physically blocked the door when Obi-Wan started to leave, sounding vaguely hysterical, “You can’t run around loopy! You’re a High Council Member!”

“Not anymore,” Obi-Wan replied bitterly. 

“What do you mean not anymore,” Anakin said fiercely, grabbing on to his shoulders . “Did they kick you out? Is that why you’re acting crazy? Did you resign?”

Obi-Wan responded by pulling Anakin into a hug, which was immediately returned, “Of course not, don’t be absurd. Fine, I suppose I’m technically still a high council member, it just seems like a bit of a moot point.”

“What the kark does that mean? You used to dream about being on the council! You’re the wisest Master in any of those stupid chairs!”

‘Master of the High Council’ Kenobi just sighed heavily in response. He maneuvered around the confused errant Knight and into the hall. 

"Obi-Wan wait! At least eat something first! Or let me put my shoes on!”

“Very well, you have one minute to make yourself presentable. I only have a few hours before I’m going to need to get back to reality, and the longer I linger the more I fear extreme measures may be necessary.”

“What does that mean?” Anakin shouted from inside. “Extreme measures sounds really ominous, you know.”

“I’d rather not get into it, alright? Let’s just enjoy the here-and-now, eh, ad’ika?

Anakin crashed out the door with less than a second to spare. “What did you just call me?"

“Ad’ika,” Obi-Wan answered, striding down the hallway in the direction of the hanging gardens. “Surely you must have picked up some Mando’a from the troopers?”

“Yeah, but I wasn’t sure if I heard you right, bu- um- ori'vod,” Anakin fumbled out. “Uh, you’re not going to call me that in front of anyone else, right? You do remember that the council already gives us the side eye for over-attachment right?”

Obi-Wan hummed thought fully in responded. “There are far worse things a Jedi could do than admit to affection they already feel. Maybe if I had been honest about my attachments, they wouldn’t have ended the way that...” he trailed off quietly.

“The way that what,” Anakin asked frustrated. “You’re really giving me some emotional whiplash over here, and I’m starting to think that putting off dragging you to the healers is a stupid idea.

“There are far stupider things a Jedi could do,” he responded cheerily. “Oh look, there’s Plo Koon. MASTER KOON!” He shouted, startling the Kel Doran Jedi.

“Yes, Master Kenobi?” He replied slightly concerned as the two human Jedi came jogging over.

“I just wanted to say that I consider my former padawan my family. I raised him, I care for him deeply, and I don’t want to let go of those feelings.”

Plo Koon nodded seriously in response. “I feel just the same about my former padawans, and the Wolffe pack, of course. Denying my attachments isn’t, personally, a practical way to handle them. I’d rather honestly live as an imperfect Jedi than pretend to be a perfect example of the code. If I must have some imbalance, I’d rather it be an excess of compassion than a dearth,” he replied earnestly.

“I always admired that about you,” Obi-Wan replied ruefully. “This might be a little odd, but could I have a hug? I hold you in the highest regard and I’ve realized that there are so many Jedi that I never directly expressed my affection for and...”

Plo Koon didn’t wait for Obi-Wan to finish before wrapping his arms around him. “Of course, dear boy. You’ve had such heavy burdens placed on your shoulders during your life, especially in the last few years; it saddens me to see how deeply they’ve weighed you down. If there’s anything I can do to help, in any way, you simply have to ask.”

Obi-Wan sniffled slightly into Plo’s Shoulder while Plo rubbed soothing circles over his back.

A few passing Jedi gave the embracing Masters uncomfortable looks before hurrying on their way. Anakin stood slack-jawed.

When they finally pulled back, Plo Koon hesitated before finally asking, “I don’t mean to pry, but what brought all this on? I can sense much grief from you, even through your impressive shields.”

“It’s a long story,” Obi-Wan replied, wiping at the corner of his eyes. “I’d rather not get into it.”

“He’s high,” Anakin offered bluntly. “He took something last night and won’t go to medical wing.”

“Ah,” Plo said. “Is that true?”

Obi-Wan looked a little embarrassed. “I have the situation under control. My connection with reality might be...slightly altered right now, but my emotions, and what I chose to do with them are my own. I’m just, taking advantage of a unique opportunity to express myself.”

Plo Koon seemed to scrutinize him intensely, “If you’re sure this is what you need, than I support you. Just don’t do anything too foolish.” he finally offered.

Obi-Wan beamed. “I appreciate you saying so, I thought you would be supportive. Farewell, Master Koon”

Obi-Wan offered a respectful bow and then turned to walk away briskly. Before Anakin could follow, Plo rested a claw on his arm. 

“Feel free to comm me if his behavior reaches a point where you think he truly needs a healer. I’m happy to help you drag him there if need be. A little cathartic release isn’t in of itself such a bad thing, but if he starts acting too out of control...”

Anakin nodded in acknowledgment, then ran off to see who else Obi-Wan had chosen to throw himself at.

Part Four

[katsukavi]

I wanted to make this a full fanfiction on my wattpad, but I didn’t want to disappoint everyone with the super slow updates (like my scumlord lol) so.. here’s crap I pulled out of my notes called arise, undead (“pretty obsessed” sung jin-woo x male, zombie reader) I also really like the options I have in tumblr lol. I’m a little embarrassed to add tags because I’m not sure if people will like it and stuff.. But yeah! This is the book cover I made for it here too! :D

Im having too much fun with these new stuff~ (please excuse me. this is my first long post and i love everything here—)

(spoilers)

The plot is that Jin-Woo finds an undead in the woods, tries to arise him and it does work. Now they fight together because the zombie has no memories and is literally immortal (yet dead). Near the end, they discover that MC was murdered and his body was buried in the woods yada yada. Then when Jin-Woo goes back, he has to save him. But, he has to save MC as a 15 year old while MC is a 27 year old..

(I planned that part out and I think it’s a little funny how suddenly a kid approaches you like “You’re going to die if you go somewhere. Come with me, I’m your lover from the future.”

“Ah, it’s a chuunibyou.. Sorry kid, but I need to go to work—“

“No.”

‘Alive or not, MC still looks like a zombie.. Why are you so overworked?!’)

IT WAS SUNG JIN-WOO’S FIRST TIME using his new job skills, so naturally he’d get excited in testing every single little thing about it. He just exited the purple hued portal behind him, feeling like he acquired an interesting new toy to play with. Even though he was tired from the lack of sleep, his joy kept him from passing out.

Either it was that, or the rain pouring over his head. All his excitement flushed into disappointment as his shoes got muddy from the damp forest foor and his clothes getting completely soaked in rainwater. It would be impossible to pass out with the loud thunder rumbling in the background.

He cursed with every step on his path, finding it hard to walk with the slippery and uneven soil, his vision blurry from water and dark skies and his body dragging itself against harsh rain. Unfortunately, he was also already very exhausted.

Out of all the times for a thunderstorm, why did it have to be right after the job change quest?

From behind the trees, he heard a low distorted roar—forcing him to dip his head towards it’s direction. He held a dagger in one hand, trying to make out its shape from behind the trees.

It was in a humanoid shape, making him relax just a little bit. “Is anyone there?” he questioned.

His voice seemed to reach the stranger as they left their hiding spot in the trees’ shade. The person looked to be a man wearing a formal suit, diluted blood marking over his chest and face. Even though he looked human, he didn’t seem to breathe, just limply staring at Jin-Woo with a blank and lifeless expression.

Strangely, the stranger’s (s/c) skin was pale, like blood hasn’t been pumping through his veins. But attacking a person because they looked really sick wasn’t a good thing, it’s like attacking an overworked person because they looked so dead. It was either it was too dark or the view was too blurry.

“Hello?” Jin-Woo called out one time, staying cautious from the stranger. It lunged at Jin-Woo with a raspy growl, nearly scratching his face. Jin-Woo ducked, a small scratch appearing on his face from the speed. It definitely wasn’t human.

Sung Jin-Woo was already fatigued, at a disadvantage with the location as well. He cursed, barely dodging every slash thrown at him. “Igris!” he called out, the shadow materialising from behind him. Igris grabbed the humanoid monster, a splash of mud splattering around as it was thrown.

Sung Jin-Woo stabbed it deep in the chest, not a single drop of blood spilling out as he stepped back to breathe. He put his hands on his knees, staring at the lifeless corpse as he sent Igris back. ‘It seems pretty strong.. Should I extract it?’

He took a deep breath, getting closer to the body as he raised his hand. His posture was elegant, holding a composed expression as droplets of rain streamed down his attractive face, adding to his charm. A deep and soothing voice left his mouth, sending chills to anyone who would hear it.

“Arise.”

Though unfortunately, the Shadow Monarch was greeted with nothing but silence and the sound of ambient rain. That’s odd, if it was a failed extraction then a notification would pop up to let him know or something. Was the system suddenly broken? If that’s the case, he should try again.

“Arise.. arise. ARISE!” he shouted multiple times, but a shadow didn’t get extracted. He furrowed his brows, squatting down to find out the cause of his skill suddenly breaking. “Why isn’t it working..?” he mumbled under his breath, getting closer to the body with a puzzled look on his face.

“Arise. Arise. Arise arise arise. Wake up. Rise and shine. Arise. Awake. Good morning. Arise.”

“I’m not dead yet, dimwit.”

Did the body just.. talk back to him?

“You didn’t hear anything,” Jin-Woo blurted out, getting embarrassed from the montage of Arise and synonyms he was saying to something that was alive. He stabbed the body once again, trying to kill it as he attempted once more. “Arise.”

“You don’t have to try again. I’m not dead,” the man just sat up like it was just his average tuesday, sliding out the blade from his chest, handing it to Jin-Woo and dusting off his clothes. The undead just raised his head towards the sky, watching clouds part as he lifted his palm, no more droplets landing on top of it. “Oh, the rain is clearing up.”

“Excuse me. Didn’t you just try to attack me?”

“Did I? I don’t remember,” the stranger scratched the back of his neck, looking bored as he yawned. “My name is (L/n) (M/n), age 27. And you are?”

“Sung Jin-Woo, 24.”

“Nice meeting you. Now where in the hell am I?”

/////////////////////////////

(L/N) (M/N) HAD A NASTY SCOWL on his face, plopping the sewing kit on Jin-Woo’s bed as he angrily tried to open it with one arm. Unfortunately, someone had cut off his right arm that he spent ages trying to sew back on.

“What next, my leg?” he cursed under his breath as Sung Jin-Woo opened it for him. “Wait a minute,” Jin-Woo said, sticking the end of his arm to his shoulder. “Hold this,” he said, making (M/n) keep his limb in one place as he put the thread in the needle.

“What?” The zombie still looked very angry, knitting his brows together as he held still. “I thought you needed a hand,” Jin-Woo lightly joked, trying to make (M/n)’s mood towards him a little better. The undead male gave him his signature dead stare, tightly holding his severed upper arm before speaking.

“Jin-Woo, I am dead serious here.”

He started to lightly chuckle, noticing that Sung Jin-Woo was almost finished with sewing his arm back on his body. “Hey, you’re pretty good at this.” His remark made Jin-Woo smile as he opened and closed his hand, almost as if it was brand new.

“My clothes kept getting ripped when I was E-Rank. I learned naturally.”

“The next time you rip off my limbs, please fix them too,” (M/n) said, flailing his right hand in the air with satisfaction.

“Well next time. I’m sure I’ll make you mine.”

“I doubt that.”

///////////////////////////// (now it’s just random dialogues i pulled out of my idea dump lol)

“OH HECK! There goes my leg!”

“Oh no... He’s dead! It’s not like I’m happy about it or anything~! ...Arise arise arise arise—“

“IM NOT DEAD!”

“God damn it.. Jin-Woo, could you go fetch my torso, and my arms and my legs and uh.. my head. Yes, thank you.”

“You don’t have a heartbeat and your skin is ice cold. I stabbed you 32 times. How are you still moving?”

“Dunno, ask Jesus.”

“I CAN’T BREATHE! I’M DYING.”

“You don’t breathe, (M/n).”

“Oh yeah, you’re right.”

“Sometimes I wonder if you want me dead or if you want me alive. Which one is it?”

“Either way is fine as long as you’re mine.”

“Gross, necrophiliac.”

“Good night, (M/n).”

“Good night, Jin-Woo..”

“Alright.. arise arise arise arise arise arise arise—“

“Once again, I am not dead.”

“You’re not useless, (M/n). Because when you die, I WILL MAKE YOU MY SHADOW.”

“HOW IS THAT SUPPOSED TO COMFORT ME?!”

[cluster-fandom]

Not the day for this

Atsumu, Oikawa, and Noya prank their S/O on a bad day

Warnings: Swearing, food/eating || hospital mention, knife mention, stitches mention, and getting a cut in Noya’s (nothing descriptive just the words themselves)

A/N: This is my first time writing for multiple characters! I enjoyed this a lot 

I was heavily inspired by @kybabi​ !! Go check them out if you haven’t before :)

Atsumu

• Today was not your day at all

• You had failed a test and got in an argument with your best friend

• So all you really wanted to do was come home to your boyfriend and relax

• Unfortunately Atsumu was not aware of how your day had been going

• You both liked to poke fun at each other and this time Atsumu had planned what he thought was an amazing prank

• He couldn’t wait for you to get home

You were driving home from university to your shared apartment with Atsumu. Between the frustration of scoring low a test you had studied so hard for and getting into a dumb fight with one of your best friends, you were ready to snap. The heat didn’t help anything either. At the very least you got to come home to Atsumu. The thought of being wrapped up in your boyfriends arms had kept you from lashing out at anyone that came in contact with you.

You two had been together for over a year and while he could be insufferable at times, you adored him. He was always making you laugh through his ridiculousness, and you were the same. But your favorite memories were when he looked at you with that lopsided grin and said that he loved you.

As you walked up to your front door you noticed it was slightly open.

‘Did Atsumu forget to close the door?’ You briefly wonder before going inside where it was cool.

“Ats-OH MY GOD!”

You were drenched in ice water and the bucket that had been sitting on the door clanked to the floor.

“HEY BABE I THOUGHT YOU COULD USE SOME COOLING OFF!” Atsumu grinned, finding his prank hilarious.

“FUCKING HELL ATSUMU THIS WAS NOT WHAT I NEEDED TODAY!” You yell as you shake your arms of water.

You shove past him towards the bathroom where you could get a towel and hairdryer.

“Wait wait wait! It was just a joke I’m sorry!” He’s fumbling over his words in confusion.

He follows you into the bathroom where you were shoving things out of the way to get your hairdryer out of the cabinet.

“Babe- I’m sorry I didn’t know you’d be mad!” He whines.

You ignore him as you try to (unsuccessfully) untangle the cord of your hairdryer.

“God-dammit-“ you mumble as you only end up getting it more tangled.

“Do you want me to hel-“

“NO ATSUMU IVE GOT IT!” You snap at him.

“Why are you so mad?” He’s genuinely confused. You’ve never been this mad at a prank before?? And this wasn’t even the worst one he’s done-

“I DONT KNOW MAYBE ITS BECAUSE IM DRENCHED AND FREEZING FUCKING COLD? JUST- LEAVE ME ALONE RIGHT NOW!” You’re just done with everything and Atsumu can clearly tell he’s not making anything better at the moment so he retreats to the living room.

After you’ve dried your hair and changed into some dry clothes you went to you and Atsumu’s shared bedroom.

You were scrolling on your phone when there was a knock at the door.

Atsumu cautiously stepped into the room.

“Y/N, can we talk?”

You sighed and set your phone aside.

When you nodded, Atsumu sat on the bed in front of you.

“I’m sorry I upset you. The prank wasn’t funny,” he looked at you with guilty eyes.

“I’m not mad about the prank. I’ve just had a really bad day and it all piled up and I took it out on you. I shouldn’t have yelled, I’m sorry.”

You explained the events of your day and how you had wanted some quality time with him, and instead you had gotten an ice bath.

“I’m so sorry Y/N, I never wanted to make you feel so bad. Let me make it up to you?” He pleaded. He gave you his biggest puppy dog eyes. (🥺)

Your heart melted and of course you said yes.

He perked up immediately, rushing out of the room. He came back with an armful of snacks and settled in next to you. He switched on your favorite movie and pulled you onto his lap.

“I love you so, so much baby,” he whispered into your hair. He leaned down to press a kiss into your cheek.

“And I love you,” you whispered back.

Oikawa

• You knew that with dating Oikawa, people would be jealous

• But his fangirls could get really bad sometimes

• Today they had been following you around saying how you weren’t pretty enough, smart enough for him

• It had gotten to you a little bit

• So you were ready to be home with your boyfriend away from others eyes

• Oikawa had no clue of this though and had devised, in his mind, a brilliant prank to get a rise out of you once you got home

You were finally home to your apartment with Oikawa. He had been on his phone when you walked in and greeted you with his signature grin. After a tight hug, he said he needed to go grab something in the bedroom.

You settled down on the couch letting your body relax on the plush cushions.

*bzzt bzzt*

You looked to see that Oikawa had left his phone behind. You were about to go back to resting, until you registered the name of the sender.

You bolted upright and grabbed the phone, hoping you had read it wrong.

#1 Fangirl 😉

You and Oikawa had been together for a year and you trusted him with your entire being. But seeing that name made fear pool in your stomach.

You didn’t dare to unlock his phone, despite knowing his password, for fear of what you might find.

Your thoughts were running a mile a minute as you entered your bedroom where Oikawa was in the closet.

Was there someone else? He wouldn’t do that to you right? He seemed so happy with you. He had never said he wasn’t satisfied with anything at all. Nothing had changed recently, so was something going on the whole time? Were his fangirls right?

That last question scared you the most.

“Love?” You called out.

Oikawa had a devilish smirk on his face. He knew that you would have seen the texts by now. He had come up with the prank a few days ago and was excited for you to get smart with him and call out the obvious.

“Yes?” He called back, not looking to you.

“Who’s number one fangirl?” You said, voice shaking. You didn’t know when your vision had started going blurry.

At the sound of your shaky voice, your boyfriend whipped around, eyes wide.

“Oh Angel, it’s nobody, it was all a prank I swear,” he pulled you to his chest, “I asked Iwa-Chan to help me, that’s who’s actually sending the texts.”

“S-so you’re not cheating on me?” You hiccup slightly and Oikawa’s heart aches he wipes away a stray tear. He mentally slaps himself for making you insecure.

“Never. I would never leave you for some other girl who just wants me for my looks. You love me for who I am and I am so, so grateful to have you,” he holds you tighter to him.

Once you’ve collected yourself, you tell him about all the things that had been said to you and how it had made you doubt if you were good enough for him. He quietly listened to you talk, holding you the entire time until you were finished.

He gently lifted your face up to meet his eyes. You noticed how his jaw was clenched and his lips were pressed in a thin line.

“Y/N. I am so sorry that those people made you feel unworthy. I promise, you are more than I could have ever asked for. They won’t bother you again ok?” His voice was low, but still as gentle as ever. His eyes softened as he looked at you. He let his muscles relax and gave you a small smile.

Your heart felt full as you nodded.

“Okay, now why don’t we go to the couch and cuddle for a while. Let me show you how much I love you,” he gave your forehead a light kiss.

You smiled up at him.

“I love you Tōru.”

“I love you more, Angel.”

Nishinoya

• You were one inconvenience away from exploding

• You worked the customer service center at your malls department store (it hadn’t been your first choice but you needed money) and you had already had to deal with two Karens this morning

• The second one actually made your manager come down, who wasn’t happy about that

• So now you were at risk of losing your job

• Thankfully though you finally got to go on your lunch break

• You were excited because your boyfriend had time to spend it with you today

• You needed the pick me up and Noya’s naturally energetic personality never failed to do so

• Unfortunately, Nishinoya decided that today was the perfect day to execute his genius prank

You growled in annoyance as your keys got momentarily stuck in the lock to your apartment.

You had been yelled at three times today already. By two entitled middle aged women who wouldn’t listen to you no matter how many times you gave an explanation to them, and then by your manager who told you off for making him get involved with your “nonsense.”

You had been hanging on to your last shred of self control to not start screaming at your boss.

But you were home now and were more than ready to have a nice lunch with your boyfriend.

“Y/N! YOU’RE HOME!” You stumbled back as you were tackled in a hug.

“I made you lunch!” Noya grinned as he released you from his hold.

You giggled as he grabbed your hand to lead you to the kitchen.

Now, you loved Noya, but his cooking was, well, not edible sometimes. But he seemed to have gone pretty safe this time around.

There were two bowls of ramen with bread rolls on the side.

“Looks like someone was busy,” you tease. He rolls his eyes and motions for you to eat.

You were listening to Noya talk about his morning while you ate.

“And then I-“

“AH! HOT! HOT! HOT!” You were panting. The noodles were spicier than you could handle. You took a bite of the bread and nearly puked.

“Is- IS THAT MAYONNAISE?!?” You cough trying to get the awful tastes out your mouth. You rush to the fridge and down a glass of milk.

“Yū what the fuck?!” You say after catching your breath.

“What? I thought you said you wanted to expand your palette,” he’s wearing a smug grin.

You huff and get your things together to leave.

“Wait- don’t go!” He’s scrambling to catch up to you.

“I can’t do this today. I’ll see you after my shift,” you slam the door behind you as you leave.

You picked up a quick meal from the food court and find an empty table to eat at.

You had turned your phone off, not wanting to hear your notifications go off. The rest of your shift was uneventful thankfully, but you were still beyond irritated.

It was twenty minutes until the end of your shift when you turn your phone back on. You had about a dozen texts from Yū, which you were expecting, but you had a missed call from Tanaka from five minutes ago.

Confused, you called back.

“Hello?”

“Y/N! Uh, so you see, Noya he- well he was trying to make something up to you? Anyways, he called me over to your place and I was helping him cook and he may have accidentally, umm, cut his finger pretty bad.”

“What?! Tanaka where are you right now?” You were already gathering your things and writing a note to your boss explaining your leave.

“The hospital,” he replied.

“I’ll be there in a few minutes,” you rushed to your car.

You may have been driving way a little past the speed limit, but you were at the hospital in record time.

Thanks to the lady at the front desk, you found Yū quickly. You thanked Tanaka as he left the room, not wanting to stand around awkwardly.

“Yū! Are you okay? What were you even doing with a knife! Here let me see,” you grabbed his hand and looked it over.

His pointer and middle finger had been wrapped up in bandages, but the rest of his hand looked fine.

“They didn’t need stitches,” he said bashfully.

“Hmph you’re lucky,” you mumbled, “but why would you need to use a knife?” You searched his face. He looked away, hand rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment.

“I was trying to make you a nice dinner. I wanted to make it up to you for lunch,” he was uncharacteristically quiet.

You gently turned his face towards you, giving him a quick kiss. His face turned bright red and he sputtered incoherently for a minute.

“I’m sorry for what I said. I was having a pretty bad morning and getting my tongue burnt off didn’t help. You’re still an amazing boyfriend though and I still love you,” you intertwined your hands with his and gave it a gentle squeeze. He smiled and leaned to touch his forehead to yours

“Does that mean we can have spicy ramen for dinner then?” He asked.

“Don’t push it.”

I hope you enjoyed! Any feedback is highly appreciated!

*I do not own Haikyuu!! or the characters only the story*

*Do not repost anywhere, all credits to me*

[hermit-god-au-pog]

[OLD AND MAY BECOME NON-CANON LATER ON] Got some short stories for ya’ll!

After much struggle i managed to think of some more lore based prompts for some short stories! They’ll be under the cut!

One of a conversation between Helsknight and EvilXisuma, the other of an interaction between TFC and GeminiTay! What can i say im a sucker for these two. The stuff is only slightly proof-read by myself so sorry for any mistakes in grammer or if things sound weird lol

Anyway, I hope ya’ll enjoy! And if i need to add any tw’s just say! I dont think i will though! Long post under the cut though

EX&Hels have a conversation

“So let me get this straight,” Helsknight sat up in his seat and leaned on the table between the two” You’re not considered a hels hermit at all?” Evil Xisuma rolls his eyes but chuckles at the other, he doesn’t blame him for not knowing, hell the only ones who probably knew were him and Grian’s little buddies.

“No, I am not a hels hermit like you. But, I work very similarly. Me personally, I’m the axolotl’s evil clone according to my code. But, and I can’t speak for the others, I still fill up the role of why a hels is created.” Helsknight slowly blinked at the other and rose an eyebrow.

“What is that supposed to mean exactly?” Evil X let out a snort at the other’s question.

“Well basically, Hels exist for one reason, to keep the gods, or hermits as we know them, in check. Granted they’re all too nice to do anything we’d do, but the point still stands. Hels are here to counteract the hermits, and the Axolotl doesn’t have a hels per say because I exist. But that’s not stopping the void from making a hels version if need be.” Helsknight leaned back and crossed his arms, narrowing his eyes at Evil X.

“Ok, so because you already existed, the void didn’t make a counterpart for the admin. But what do you mean it could make another? Why would we need a third Xisuma?” Evil X tapped his chin as he thinks of what he should say.

“Well, let’s just say the void has already planned for that” Helsknight could feel the shit-eating grin the other was giving him. But Evil X gestures to another person in the room. Helsknight, begrudgingly, decided to look, and see’s what the other was talking about. There was a turtle Xisuma sitting at a bar, but he looked almost vacant, like an NPC almost.

“Now, I’ve never talked to that guy, and based on the interactions they’ve had with others, he’s entirely just a placeholder, an NPC ready to be coded into action.” Helsknight turned back to Evil X who was looking at him now.”But unless something happens to me, I keep the role of a ‘hels counterpart’ even though I’m not a hels.” Blinking, helsknight picked up his drink, downing the rest of its contents, this was a very weird conversation they were having but, informative. Then something struck him.

“You said something about others earlier” Evil X feigned innocence and confusion, making helsknight growl.

“Earlier this conversation! You said ‘ But, and I can’t speak for the others, I still fill up the role of why a hels is created’. There are others who aren’t technically hels hermits on the server?” Evil X snorted then started laughing. Helsknight slammed his hands on the table and stood up.

“No! I’m serious! Who the hell are the others?!” After Evil X got done with his laughing fit, he pretended to wipe away some tears.

“You really are dense my friend” before the other could reply, Evil X continued” The only ones I personally know of, are actually Grian’s-”

“You said that using plurals, does Grian seriously have 2?” Helsknight looked at the other bewildered as he nodded.

“Indeed he does my friend. I don’t entirely understand it myself. One calls themself NpcGrian, or NPG for short, the other one calls themself Robot Grian or RG for short. And between us, RG is definitely the eviler and smarter one of the two. He’s probably the one considered the hels version.” Helsknight slumped back in his seat and rubbed his temple, letting out a heavy sigh.

“Alright, to get away from that confusing topic, you said hels were made to counter the gods?” Evil X nodded.

“Yee-p” popping the p at the end, Evil X leaned forward.” All the gods being together in one space can be seen as quite a dangerous predicament, and if they ever decided to team up and rise up for some reason, no one would know before it’s too late. So to try and stop that, keep the gods on their toes and aware, the hels were made. You were one of the first to become sentient and seek out your counterpart actually”

Helsknight looked at the other for a moment then realized something. Something that didn’t settle right with him.

“How do you know all of this information? I’m pretty sure not even Xisuma knows this crap.” Hels rose an eyebrow as the other’s expression got darker behind the mask he wore.

“Let’s just say, being locked in the void for ages gives you some free time. And the ability to look through your and your clone’s codes, even though I was never able to edit them.” Huh, well that made sense.

TFC helps Gem out/aka being a god is overwhelming

    Sometimes, to really appreciate the world you live in, you just gotta walk around. Taking in the sights of what the world holds and what your fellow hermits have made. And honestly, TFC is usually blown away by how talented the hermits are. He may not be much of a builder himself, but he’s happy they’ve kept him along the way nonetheless. Little ol’ miner TFC, walking amongst godly builders, figuratively and literally.

    Sometimes on TFC’s walks, he’ll come across other hermits, not often, but it’s always pleasant when he does. TFC admits, he should get out to talk to the others more, but he can’t help it. The mines make him feel at home. But today, walking into one of the newer hermits areas, he had a bad feeling in his gut.

    Deciding to stray from the path TFC decided to look around the area, a bit more in dept. And low and behold, once getting close to one of the new hermits custom trees, he heard soft, stifled crying. Like they were trying to cover it up. Eyes softening, TFC went over to the home next to this wonderful tree and knocked, before letting himself peek inside.

    GeminiTay sat in the corner, her head snapped up and it was obvious how overwhelmed and tired she looked. TFC gave a slight smile and walked inside, closing the door gently. Gemini watched tensely as TFC walked over, his pickaxe he used as a cane clicking with every step. But, TFC sat down next to her and softly asked.

    “Would physical touch help this situation or worsen it?” Seeing Gemini’s tears starting to well up more, TFC opened his arms, offering her a safe space. And she took it. Gemini scrambled to get up and hug the other. She didn’t know why his presence felt so...comforting, but it did, and once she started the hug, the floodgates were let loose. She couldn’t hold back her tears even if she tried.

    TFC held the young girl close, gently rubbing circles into her back as her whole frame shook and twitched. TFC did notice the leaves that moved like butterflies flying about in the home. He semi-watched them as he comforted the hermit in his arms, taking notes on the situation.

    Once TFC heard the girls’ cries soften and as her body became less shaky, he decided to start talking.

    “I understand if you’re too overwhelmed to talk right now, but was this panic caused by some aspect of your godly nature?” TFC waited patiently, and when he felt a soft nod on his shoulder he let out a little sigh.

    “You are one of the newest gods in general, not even to the server, have you been taught anything more than the basics yet?” a small shake of her head.”So you’re not yet in tune with who you are and the powers you possess, and due to that, something within you snapped, and you started hearing noises or voices, am I correct?” TFC could feel Gem tense like he had just read her mind, but she gave a soft nod. TFC looked around at the leaf butterflies, more seem to have gathered.

    “Are the voices still present? Have they gotten any louder or more intense?” With the soft nod, TFC was starting to understand a bit more. Gently sitting Gemini up, he made the corner they were in into a cozy one full of blankets and pillows. 

    Gemini then watched, rubbing her slightly puffed-up eyes, as TFC started to gather the leaf butterflies. Once he got a good amount he gently set them free outside. And the more he let go, the less overwhelmed Gemini felt. Once most of the creatures were out TFC made his way back over and sat across from Gemini.

    “Ready to talk?” Gemini nodded, sniffling and wiping away any stray tears. Taking a deep breath Gemini starts talking.

    “So...So I was just doing my normal routine, today I decided to do some enchanting. But then my tree, my /tree/ started talking to me and I got confused. So I went over and put a hand on the tree.”Gemini paused, breath hitching again. TFC gently held one of her hands, reassuring her to take her time. After catching her breath, Gem continued.

    “And..And then I...And then I heard all these voices and cries. Some were asking me for help, some were..thanking me? Some were crying, some cheering...But they all came at once and I couldn’t shut them off. Then I started hearing more despair than anything else and I... I couldn’t do it. My body got all fuzzy! And my eyes got blurry but different from tear blur. I felt my body...change. And so I ran in here. And I only started to feel my body go back to normal shortly before you came..” Gem panted softly when she was done, her tears back and starting to fall again. She was looking down at her feet.

    But when she felt a soft big hand on her cheek, whipping away her tears, she looked up. TFC gave her a gentle smile, a reassuring one, and, it honestly helped her more than she would have thought.

    “That my dear was your body being forced into its godly form. Every god has one, but most prefer not to be in them, as they can be taxing after long uses. But they’re nothing to be afraid of. You just went into it unwillingly.” Gemini nods softly, following along so far.”And if you would like, I can help you learn how to go into it and out of it, at will. I’ll do it with you.”

Gemini thought about it for a while. She didn’t know how long, but TFC never rushed her into deciding, only waiting patiently, giving her time to think. But, if she learned how to control that form, maybe it would be less frightening if this ever happened again. Gem then looked at TFC and gave a quick nod.

“Yea, ok. I, I want to learn how to control this...godly form of mine. But you’ll do it with me right?” TFC nodded and scooted so that they bot sat criss-cross, knees touching each other. TFC then gently held both of her hands.

“Ok, to start off with, think of why you became a god, and what you’re the god of. Think of what that means to you.” Gem nodded, closing her eyes as she held TFC’s hands. Furrowing her brows a bit Gemini thought.

Thought of the event that lead her to be a god, why she did what she did. She thought of what that event meant to her and why she would do it again. And she felt the tension in her shoulders released. Gem then thought of what it meant to be the goddess of the forest, what the responsibility and future actions might hold for her.

“Good, you’re doing great” TFC’s voice rang through her ears.”Now hold onto that feeling, clutch onto it, cherish it. Once you’ve done that, let go. Let yourself feel your body change, let it morph and melt into something new.”

Taking one more deep breath, Gem followed his instructions. The feeling her ‘job’ gave her, the hope she had for herself, and so on, she held it close to her heart, and let herself stop caring about the mortal plane for a bit. And she felt herself change. Like what happened earlier, but less jarring and harsh. She felt her body almost melt, felt it slither around while being on one spot. The feeling wasn’t unpleasant like it was before. It felt like shifting over in bed, something familiar.

“There we go, you’ve done it, you can open your eyes.” Cautiously, Gem opened her eyes, and instead of being met with the soft grandpa from before, there was a whole new person. They looked like TFC but also now. They had more sharp edges and the particles of different ores around them were very present, and they radiated the energy of a god. He reached over and cupped her cheek.

“How do you feel?” Gemini thinks, she looked down at her new self, realizing how much bigger the two were now. She looked at all the leaf butterflies, not being as scared of them now. She felt power coursing through her, the whispered of the plants and tree’s outside. But now that she’s not in her panicked state, it was a lot more comforting. Gem felt a soft smile form over their lips. Looking up at TFC she felt warmth in her chest.

“Now that I’m not panicking, it feels nice. It feels warm, and I feel stronger.” TFC nods, looking pleased.

“Now, let’s go back to normal shall we?” Gem nods and puts her head down, closing her eyes again.

“Now, recognize your form, recognize the power coursing through you. Hold that feeling, and imagine yourself tucking it away for later. Let yourself relax and let your body morph once more” And once again, Gem tried her best to follow along.

And next time she opened her eyes, the normal TFC sat in front of her. Looking down at herself, Gem saw her she was back to normal. Smiling Gem leaped up to hug TFC. Hugging back TFC gently pet her hair.

“Now, let’s get you to bed, You need some rest after all that. Tomorrow we’ll talk more about this stuff ok?” 

And with that, TFC and Gem got comfy in the small comfort fort TFC had made and Gem fell asleep. During the afternoon Bdubs came to see gem, but finding her and TFC sleeping, he just smiled fondly and closed the door quietly. Informing the server not to disturb the two for the rest of the night and left the sleeping duo to rest

[alreadyblondenow]

Journey to the past | Xiaojun

✦ Xiaojun x reader ✦ Fluff, Smut, Angst, College AU, Established relationship ✦ 5/5 for HOLIDAY SERIES: Once Upon A December

Summary: You hated each other with a passion and you’re both willing to give each other a hard time. Always. Until you both realized that you secretly have feelings for each other. When Xiaojun finally admitted it, he did everything he could to make it up to you and when things are falling into place, a tragedy happened wherein your memories on how XIoajun won your heart was erased and all that’s left is when you hated him so much.  

Word count: 6,960k

Warnings: Unprotected sex, blow job, face fucking, mentions of other idols, swearing, mentions of accidents, ex Jaehyun,

A/N: PURE FICTION. Not a love triangle fic. And I changed the ending to sad ending. WATCH THE VOW! ITS MY FAVORITE MOVIE OF ALL TIME!

“Are you happy with me?”

“Hmm. I don’t know, you tell me?” you let out a giggle as you put down your pencil and swing an arm around your boyfriend while you two look at the dress you designed for a very much awaited fashion show.

“The way I see it yes,” he kisses your neck, loud and wet sounds of kisses surrounds your small studio. “You love every bit of my handsome being” Xiaojun added as he nibbles your ear and turns you on.  

“I'm sure about loving you but I'm not sure about the handsome part-“ and before you could even finish your sentence he attacked you with tickles that weakens your knees and fall on the floor slowly as you laugh your heart away, feel your heartbeat so fast, feel your body get warm. And when you’re both lying on the cold floor, both smiling and catching your breaths he asked you a question that will forever change your life.

“If you’re happy with me, marry me”

It was suddenly quiet.

“Huh?” you said, eyes wide when you saw that he’s not joking.

“I was planning to ask you to marry me once I convince you to go to bed now and sleep early. The ring is in our room, what do you say?” his hold on you tightens as he waits for your answer, eyes hopeful, heart racing.

“That's the crappiest proposal ever but I love it. Yes”

And finally, Xiaojun can breathe again and stop being nervous. He was so happy that he can’t believe you actually said ‘yes’ this time. “Yeah? You’ll marry me? Hmm?” He kisses you again and starts tickling you but soon the playful moment turned into a passionate one. You feel his cold hands creep under your thin blouse and feel him lift it without breaking the kiss. You did the same with his dress shirt, unbuttoning it without wasting every moment you could get with those amazing lips. “I think we should bring this to our room and you know… so I can propose properly?”

When your boyfriend, now fiancé, was putting the ring on your finger, you couldn't help but think of how he waited for this moment patiently. And how he endured all the heartbreak you have put him through but still, he stayed and waited.

You don’t know why the sex felt even greater now that he finally put a ring on your finger or maybe it’s just because your love became even stronger for Xiaojun and he feels the same. Every kiss, every touch, every thrust he gives you tonight felt warm like you’re about to melt any second. Your toes curled so many times even though you’re not on edge yet.

“Ooh baby” you moaned out and reach for his arm, he asked you ‘what do you want?’ while kissing your collar bones while he’s balls deep inside you. “fuck me from behind” you request, and without any hesitation he pulls out and turned your body, spreading your legs and lifting your hips effortlessly. He licks your opening first before he thrust in again slowly, his hands are perfectly placed on your ass cheeks, spreading it and watching himself slide in and out of you smoothly. He saw you grip the sheets and furrow your brows when he finally hit the spot you oh so loved. Xiaojun then grabbed your hand and intertwined it with his, seeing the ring shine from the soft light from the lampshade. You cannot see it, but your fiancé is blushing like crazy seeing that ring on your finger while he fucks you good.

He doubled his pace, kissing your shoulders as you tighten your grip with his hand. When you clenched around him, Xiaojun lost it and came before you could. “Don’t pull out yet- fuck I’m almost there” you moaned out, accidentally overstimulating your boyfriend for you requested over and over again, 'don't stop'. Your knees gave up and you both flopped on the mattress with heavy breathing and sweaty bodies, smiling at each other as you both enjoy your high.

After he cleaned you up, you snuggled in bed with fresh new sheets and enjoying this very sweet moment while you two let your engagement sink in. “You know I thought you were going to say, no or not yet” Xiaojun admitted.

“Hmm. That’s reasonable, we’ve been through so much already. I can’t blame you” you said.

“Who would have thought that you will marry the person you hated the most?” you both giggled at what he said and tightens his embrace, and right then and there you remember how you used to hate his whole being during college.

Xiaojun’s mere existence annoys the shit out of you.

You thought that your morning with your boyfriend Jaehyun will be peaceful after having your morning sex and Jaehyun offered to make you breakfast. But now your morning is perfectly ruined by his roommate Xiaojun as he eats his cereals in front of you, feet on the table, hair messy, and still wearing his pajamas despite having his morning class in twenty minutes.

“I heard you moaning this morning. Is Jaehyun really that good?” he teased you and Jaehyun, watching your boyfriend smack his head playfully.

“Yeah I’m that good- Xiaojun we have class may I remind you. Dude, go shower already” Jaehyun hands you a plate with freshly cooked pancakes, “Just let it go, babe. He’s just joking,” he says when Xiaojun left the table to go shower.

“Yeah, and I don’t like his jokes. Seriously Jae, live with me instead of this… person” you whine and enjoy what he cooked.

“He’s been my best friend since we were kids and were basically family so, can’t do that” he explains kisses your forehead as an apology.

You and Jaehyun started dating during your first semester as a senior together. You were this perfect fashion student slash valedictorian that suits Jaehyun’s prince charming image and the most popular guy on campus. Everyone thought you’re made for each other and well, perfect for each other.

Except for Xiaojun.

Instead of having the time of your life during your senior year with your handsome boyfriend, Xiaojun comes in and ruins everything. You have nothing against Jaehyun and Xiaojun being friends but sometimes Xiaojun is a handful that you can’t stand it anymore that you and Jaehyun fight because of him. Like that one time you and Jaehyun were having sex in his room and he forgot to lock the door and Xiaojun came in barging in his drunken state. Jaehyun had to pull out in front of him, cover you, and get dressed before he basically drags Xiaojun out of his room.

“Babe, I’m all he’s got. I’m sorry, please don’t break up with me”

After graduating together, you and Jaehyun got a place and lived together for a few years. Xiaojun is still present in your lives, not present like your college days but still, he’s annoying whenever he’s around.

Turns out you don’t need Xiaojun to make you realize that you can’t be with Jaehyun anymore. You and Jaehyun broke up simply because you can’t see a future with him but he didn’t take it well and blamed Xiaojun instead. It was a peaceful breakup but Jaehyun didn’t want to let you go and the moment he lost you, and blamed his best friend and cut ties with him.

“Sorry I’m late, my boss won’t stop at anyothing especially fashion week is just around the corner” you apologize to your girlfriends as you give them a kiss on the cheek one by one, “So what did I miss?” you added.

“Oh, nothing just a few shots of tequila. You know what to do” your friend says as she pours you a few shots to make it up to them and in no time, the tequila had you dancing with your friends and strangers on the dance floor. The place was blurry and all you can see is a dark place illuminated by colorful laser lights and shadows of people dancing.

You are drunk already, and so are your friends.

And the next thing you know is you woke up naked in a stranger’s bed. Body covered by blue thin sheets and your head hurts like hell because of the sunlight. “Sorry about that” he then closed the curtains and hand you a cup of coffee. His blurry image became clear when he flashed you that familiar smirk.

“Small world Y/n” he started, “Why don’t you have a shower first and go change the have breakfast with me” he says and pointed you his bathroom before he leaves you alone.  

As you force yourself to go shower, still clinging to this thin blanket to cover your naked body while you try so hard to remember how did you end up in Xiaojun’s place. First of all, you don’t know that he has his own place already, and second, why would you ever go to his place. You shook your head and shower your thoughts away until you feel clean. You were sure that you and Xiaojun did not have sex because you perfectly remember his figure leaving the room last night and even turned the lights off.

“Want me to fill you up with what happened to you last night?” he said, pouring himself a cup of coffee while smiling because you look cute in his clothes.

“Yes please,” you said while you take a sit as far away from him. Everything looked entirely wrong, but you feel like you’re in the right hands instead of waking up with a total stranger.

“For starters, we were at the same bar. Found you throwing up in the men’s bathroom- believe when I tell you that I am shocked. You were batshit drunk and throwing up on the toilet, you were a mess. Your friends got drunk and they can’t take you home, so I volunteered” he explained hoping that you will believe everything he says.

“I remember undressing last night, after you turned off the lights. Thank you”

He raised his cup of coffee like he’s saying, ‘I’m annoying but not a pervert’. Little did you know that he loved taking care of you. It was his first time doing it to you last night, but it felt great to finally give back. It was always you who takes care of his drunken ass back then in your college years. Even though you hate him and Jaehyun is the one making you change his clothes back then while he cleans Xiaojun’s puke, he was always thankful for you and Jaehyun.

He then gave you a plate full of food he prepared and gave you some pain killers for your headache. Xiaojun was looking at you lovingly, it’s been so long since the last time he saw you eat breakfast across the table with him.

“Shit I have a meeting” you got up from your comfortable seat and put a few fruits in your mouth before you look around for your things. “I’m sorry about this, I’ll treat you to dinner. Here-“ you fidget on your phone and hand it to him for his number while you fix your coat.

Everything happened so fast. After he saved his number on your phone, you were gone again. He didn’t even have the chance to say he's sorry.

After that fateful day, your job made you busy for the next few weeks and you forgot to call Xiaojun. Until weeks turned into months, you thought that calling him at such a late notice will make you look like you’re flirting with him, so you stopped yourself from calling him.

Even when you really want to.

Today was one of those moments when you realize that you’re the only single lady in your group of friends. You were completely fine with being single of course, but everyone was just flexing their dates in front of you and you can’t help but think of Xiaojun and ask him to be your plus one in a friend’s wedding but then again, that sounds too desperate of you so you dropped the idea.

The wedding was beautiful, you’re glad to see your friend happy in the arms of the right guy and you wish the same things for yourself too.

While you were busy tearing up in the corner with a glass of champagne in your hand, you felt someone put a coat on you and you can’t protest further because it’s Xiaojun. You were sure you didn’t send him the text, you didn’t even compose the message. It was just a thought, but he is here in front of you.

“Small world huh?” he said, with a smile that melts your heart in an instant. He looked so handsome with that loose tie that you unconsciously fix without hesitation. Xiaojun was taken aback when you came closer to him, turned his head to the side, and just let you do what you must. “Sorry. It’s just a habit, I work in the fashion industry so,- sorry” you stepped back and cling to his coat, he just smiled and nod his head.

“Want to dance? Come on no one knows we used to hate each other here” he winks and asked for your hand which you gladly gave in and let him sway you under soft music as you let your friends gossip on the side.

“Are you friends with the groom?” you asked, trying to start a conversation to make it up to him for not calling.

“Neither, my cousin is invited she made me her plus one” he snorted and you let out a giggle. Thankful that you’re not actually stealing him from anyone.

“I wanted to say sorry. About everything. Me being an asshole to you during our college days, and your relationship with Jaehyun. Were not friends anymore, he cut ties after you broke up with him”

Hearing Xiaojun say his sorry to you actually warms your heart as he continues to sway your bodies side to side. But hearing that Jaehyun stopped being his friend because of you, breaks your heart. “I didn’t break up with him because of you. H-he knows that, how can he say that to you”

“Well, that’s years ago. It’s fine Y/n,” You hum to what he said and enjoyed the moment further because it’s not every day you get to dance with a handsome guy. “I think you should come home with me before you get yourself drunk and go home with a total stranger” you both giggled at what he said, smacking his arm playfully because he’s so smooth.

Later that night you’re back to his apartment, and you’re not just back for the sake of having a nightcap at his place.

One thing led to another and you caught yourselves kissing on his bed, still fully clothed and with no light in his bedroom, just a small light from the lamppost outside which you thought is even more romantic than the moonlight.

You were just kissing and the sexual tension is building up fast but none of you wanted to move or ruin this sweet moment but he had to ask you, “do you want to do it tonight?” He asked softly kissing your neck and lips while he waits for your answer.

“I want to but, it feels right to just kiss you the whole night. Is that okay?” You smiled at him, cupping his face with your cold hands which he catches quickly, and shower it with kisses.

“Of course” he then starts kissing you again. Way softer this time, hands intertwined with each other. The night ended with pure kissing and no funny business, something you least expected from Xiaojun.

The morning after, you and Xiaojun promised to see each other again despite your busy schedules. He was so scared that you might hate him again the moment you step out of his place and forget that you and him shared something special in his bed last night. The morning was full of stolen kisses and reminiscing while you watch him make you a hearty breakfast before you both head to work. It was so hard to leave after breakfast and you think it’s cute how you two feel the same way.

A date is followed by another date, then another one, until you two stopped worrying that your hate for each other will come back. The getting to know each other phase was intimate, you now knew things about Xiaojun that he never told anyone before, except you and Jaehyun.

“I always envied him. For years and years, I see the way you loved him, how you take care of him and I can’t stop myself for wishing the same things for myself, you know?” He admitted. You hug him tighter and let him feel your guilt. You saw a smile on his face and quickly planted a kiss on your lips.

Xiaojun is not perfect. He has imperfections and those imperfections are part of the many reasons why you love him. Truth be told you’re not perfect too, but Xiaojun loves you as if you are. For him, he would rather accept each other’s imperfections rather than losing each other.

You knock on his apartment with a few take-outs in your hand and decided to have a surprise dinner together. He hasn’t texted you for two days straight now and you’re starting to get worried. When he opened the door, a tired Xiaojun welcomed you. Eyes tired, dark under eyes and he smelled like he hasn’t showered for days.

“To what do I owe this pleasure” he kissed your forehead and helped you with the stuff you brought for dinner. “You look nice, you go to work looking that beautiful?” He added and weakly winked at you.

“Baby, you look like shit” you rake his greasy hair, dirty but you don’t care.

“I’ve been working on this game for days now, I’m so frustrated already” he whines while he prepares the meal. “I need hugs, kisses, and sex maybe?” He was always quick to turn your moments around and the next thing you know you’re laughing so loud while you’re enjoying the food. For a moment there, he forgot that he was stressing about this game he was talking about because you make everything better with your mere presence. He wanted to tell you that this apartment of his was like a bat cave before you came in, and now that you're here gracing him with your presence, it's like every corner of this place lit up automatically.

After dinner and while you were washing the dishes, you felt Xiaojun's arms cage you while you're busy scrubbing the plates, "Thanks for the visit," he says kissing your nape and your neck.

"Are you shooing me already?" you joked.

He let out a low giggle and felt his hands wander on your waist and on your sides. “Can we do it tonight?” there was no sign of pressure in the way he asked you, he was caging you with his arms as you wash the dishes and kissing you lovingly.

“If we shower first, then yeah”

“Together?” With wide eyes, he asked you.

“No silly” you giggled, “go shower first,” you sealed it with a kiss, and without hesitation Xiaojun head to his bathroom and clean himself.

He wasn’t joking when he told you he needed sex, the man was so stressed indeed that you see his table in his bedroom all messed up with papers, dirty cups of instant ramen on the side, and his computers with a lot of codes that you don’t understand.

“Found you” he whispers behind you. The smell of his shampoo and soap lingers around the room. You turned your back and smiled at him, kiss his exposed chest, and ruffle his wet hair.

“Next time you’re stressed with work, tell me. I’ll do my best with you, okay?”

“Sorry” he kissed you on the cheek, “I’m so used to being alone that I forgot we’re in this together from now on. I’m really sorry” you told him it’s okay over and over again but he tells you he’s sorry still.

After you have the most amazing hot shower you ever had you found Xiaojun waiting for you in his bed, and looking incredibly hot with only wearing his glasses and nothing underneath those thick sheets. Even his bed felt amazing, you feel like you’re lying on a cloud with an angel beside you. A naked angel. While you’re only wearing your panties and his oversized shirt.

“Your apartment feels like home” you admitted and went on top of him, flopped in between his bare legs, letting his soft cock poke your lower abdomen. His hands immediately go on top of your shoulder to give it a tight squeeze and massage it for a few seconds. He figured you might be stressed with work too and he didn’t even bother asking you if you’re fine.

He wanted to talk more, but too late. You’re already naked under the thick sheets, kissing him down and you’re on your way to give him the best blow job ever. You kissed his lower abdomen, hearing the man underneath you grunt and get excited. You stroke his soft cock while you continue to kiss him and tease him, lick a few stripes before you play with his head. When he’s finally hard and ready, you slowly bobbed your head and glide your tongue as you take him whole. You didn’t waste your time anymore and gave him what he wants, you reach for his hand, put it on the sides of your head, and let him thrust in your mouth. It was filthy despite being the first time doing such sexual activity, but you did not care.

Spit was all over your face, Xiaojun then covers his face as he tries his best not to cum so soon. He stopped on purpose, giving you time to breathe and giving him time to control himself. You crawl up to him after you wiped the spit on your face and spread soft kisses on his body, “it’s okay to cum in my mouth, why did you stop?”

He was quiet and still catching his breath while you grabbed his cock and pump it slowly. You kissed him and told him you’re on top for tonight just because he’s the one who needed stress release. You leaned on him before you line his cock and Xiaojun’s mouth was quick to catch one of your nipples with his mouth and suck it. Tongue swirling, teeth biting, and softly pinching it before you ride him.

His hands are on both sides of your hips while you slowly go down and swallow his cock with your pussy. “Mmm” you moan out and feel the stretch that Xiaojun gives you, it has been way too long since your last fuck and that explains how tight you are. You feel his grip tightens every second and when he’s finally fully inside you, he let out a loud moan to express how good you make him feel.

You lean forward and kissed him before you roll your hips, grab his hand, and made him grip your boobs instead of your sides. "I'm yours" you whisper. The first roll of your hips felt fucking good for both of you. You watch your boyfriend part his lips beneath you and ask for more which you gladly gave him by fucking him slow and deep that lustful sounds came out from your mouth and Xiaojun is loving all of it.

"You sound great, try moaning my name? Hmm?" he request, mouth parted, eyes lidded and full of lust.

"Xiaojun" you moan out. But you didn't do it on purpose, his name unconsciously escaped from your mouth because he's kissing your neck, pinching your nipple with his left hand, and drawing circles on your clit with his right hand. You did not miss how his fingers and his sweet whispers are the ones who put you on edge and eventually hit your high when he added more pressure on your clit. You tried pushing him away because the pleaser is too much, Xiaojun slowed down for your sake.

"Is it okay if we continue until I cum?" you can only nod with his request. A few lustful kisses, moaning, and sharp gasps here in there, he trades places with you effortlessly fucking you at a really slow pace because that's what you both needed. Your right knee is folded so he could thrust deeper, now it’s your turn to part your lips, furrow your brows and ask for more. Unconsciously, your thumb brushes on his lips while you cupped face and without hesitation, Xiaojun put your thumb in his mouth and sucked it while he fucks you hard.

It’s obvious that he’s near already when you see him turn his head from side to side and his slow and deep thrusts became hard and piercing. He was catching his breath, eyes shut and moaning loudly as he's letting you know that you're the one who made him feel good.

“Good?” You asked sweetly to him, and nod his head weakly while feeling his body warms up and shoots his cum inside you. He kisses your lips, your neck, and your knee and he told you, “I love you” you giggled and raked the hair covering his face, “you seriously told me you love for the first time while you’re still shooting your cum inside me?” you watch your boyfriend get shy in the cutest way possible.

The night ended sweetly with Xiaojun kissing your legs while he cleans you up, and letting you play with the game he has been working on. Spending time with Xiaojun is like an escape from reality, very addicting and you never want it to end. Maybe that’s why you always cling to him in your sleep.

Waking up with your arm around his body has become Xiaojun’s favorite thing now and you sleeping with no clothes on is just a plus. He covers your exposed body because you’re making him horny first thing in the morning with those perked up nipples but did not waste his opportunity to kiss you good morning. He started kissing you on your neck, down to your collar bones until you’re awake enough to swing your arms around him and return the kiss.

“Sore?” He teased you and you snorted because it’s true. “Breakfast?” he added, still looking at you lovingly and secretly thanking the universe for bringing you together again.

During breakfast, it seems like you two can’t get enough of each that he wanted you to sit on his lap while you have breakfast. The morning was full of giggles, nonstop teasing, and tickles. You give him a piece of bread and he will give you a kiss in return, his hands are perfectly secured around your frame, and his eyes... oh his eyes are only fixed to you.

“I’m the worst boyfriend,” he says while drawing small circles on your knee.

“No, you’re not”

“Last night while I was massaging your shoulders, I did not miss how you grunt and let out a relieving sigh. It’s obvious you’re tired too-“ he shook his head and went straight to the point, “Live with me, that way we can sleep peacefully at night. Come home with each other, massage each other’s back. Let me be a better boyfriend”

The fact that he wanted to be better for you even though he’s already doing so much makes your heart thump so fast because of pure joy. “Xiaojun do you know that you’re naturally sweet?” You cup his face and kissed his lips and hope that the way you kiss him will make him understand how happy you are right now. “okay, let’s be better for each other... and massage each other’s shoulders” you placed your arm around his shoulders and pulled him closer to you, making the kiss more intense and soon you can hear each other moan deliciously.

Moving in with Xiaojun was a big change, you still hated his weird habits like how he hates doing dishes but now he has you to straighten him up. At night, you spend time with each other after a long day from work, may it be making dinner together or eating takeout and end the day with great sex and sleep with tired bodies. When the sun is up, you start your day right with morning kisses that you will never get tired of, have breakfast together and if you have enough time, you and Xiaojun will fuck before going to work.

Then again, at the end of the day, you come home from work excitedly and he will stop whatever he’s doing to welcome you home, continue his day, and spend it with you.

No more worrying for each other, no more not seeing each other for days. You are each other’s home now.

Of course, there's no perfect relationship and even though you love each other like crazy there will be moments that you can’t avoid no matter how hard you try. Since Xiaojun is a game developer, he’s all about fun and being spontaneous while you on the other hand are always uptight and you always want to stick on schedule. Your personalities always contradict each other so you fight like crazy sometimes but never sleep until you fix the problem, compromise, and work things out no matter what happens.

Xiaojun has your heart and you are each other's weakness.

The once huge change or shift in your life is now your normal, and home. In the span of being together for two years, you and Xiaojun settled with each other happily.

And that happiness is a great push for Xiaojun to ask you to marry him.

It was a beautiful proposal, complete with wine, steak, and the diamond in that ring is so big that your eyes widened at the size of it.

But you sadly refused.

Cold. That’s the perfect word to describe how the night went. How a supposedly passionate night turned out to be. Even the bed is cold and for the first time, Xiaojun turned his back on you. But of course, you reach out to him not because it’s the right thing to do but because you love Xiaojun so much. You hugged him from behind and hope that he will hear you out, but he was the one who talked first.

“Not ‘never’, just ‘not now’ right? You love me right?” The sound of Xiaojun’s voice weakens you. He sounds so weak, sobbing, and sniffing as he waits for your answer.

“I do love you. Please don’t think that you’re lacking, it’s me. I’m not yet ready to be married- oh baby I’m sorry I put you through this” you hugged him tighter and cried with him but even though you’re both crying he never forgets to make you feel loved. He dried your tears and kissed both of your eyes and kept you close to him until you fall asleep.

After that fateful night, it is as if something shifted in your relationship and Xiaojun became sweeter, more mature, and you fight less. Of course, he was still heartbroken about you refusing to marry him, but he would rather be rejected than be stupid enough to leave you.

In time, the failed proposal became an inside joke to both of you. Like that one time, you wanted to have sex with him but he teased you instead of giving you what you want.

“Only married couples have sex baby. If only you said ‘yes’ back then, right?” He says while kissing your exposed collar bones and secretly unbuttoning his white dress shirt. You giggled at what he said decided to bite back, “try fucking the word ‘yes’ out of me tonight then” you said. And with quick hands, he undresses and you did the same.

A year already passed since you refused to marry him, and now that Christmas is just around the corner Xiaojun decided to try again. Hoping for the best of course, but he has a great feeling that you still haven’t changed your mind.

“If you’re happy with me marry me”

It was suddenly quiet.

“Huh?” you said, eyes wide when you saw that he’s not joking.

“I was planning to ask you to marry me once I convince you to go to bed now and sleep early. The ring is in our room, what do you say?” his hold to you tightens as he waits for your answer, eyes hopeful, heart racing.

“That's the crappiest proposal ever but I love it. Yes”

Who would have thought that married life was hard but you two managed it perfectly? Just as you thought that Xiaojun poured every bit of his love to you during the time that you were dating, well you’re wrong. For Xiaojun it’s not hard for him to pour more of his love into you because for him, you’re like a Russian doll that has different layers, different you, you’re like a leaf that changes color for the better and all he has to do is love every change.

“Well, I want a boy and girl,” he says while looking at the ceiling with you, arms wrapped around each other and talking about having a baby someday.

“Hmm. Okay. But with four years interval, please. Being a mom is hard. At least that’s what my friends told me-“

“But I doubt we will stop at having two kids, I think we will end up having five. I need to develop more games” his eyes grew big upon realizing that what he just said. You let out a laugh, turned to your husband, and kissed him because he’s too cute.

Everything was perfect. A year married and everything is smooth sailing. It’s like there’s no hint of you hating each other back then because you love each other deeply now.

Until one night, Xiaojun was late to pick you up from work and you waited for him while enjoying the falling snow and can’t wait to throw one at Xiaojun for being late. Everywhere was white and the snow is pretty thick that you didn’t see a car crossing the street at the same time as you saw your husband on the other side of the road.

It all happened too fast. One second he was smiling at you and the next thing he knew you’re lying in the middle of the road.

The accident put you in a short comatose but that’s not the worst part of it.

Xiaojun prayed for your recovery day and night, stayed with you at the hospital, and left work in the meantime to take care of you. One night, he was holding your hand tightly and looking at your wedding ring, whispering ‘i love yous’ and ‘please wake up now’ over and over again... until you actually did.

It was like a miracle when he heard you grunt, saw you move your head, and furrow your brows. He called the doctor as quickly as he can and watch them do their job, excited to finally talk to you, excited to tell you that he loves you and that he was so scared, he thought he lost you.

“Y/n, I am your doctor. You were hit by a car two days before Christmas under a snowy day after work”

It was quiet for a moment as the doctors and the nurses give you some time to let it all sink in. But the first thing that came out to your mouth is,

“Jae? Is Jaehyun alright?” You asked weakly.

‘Jae’ a word Xiaojun hasn’t heard from you for almost five years.

“I’m not sure who that man is, but your husband is here” your doctor looked at the man seated behind, and to your surprise, it was Xiaojun. And the moment you see Xiaojun’s face clearly under the soft light of your hospital room, your heart thumped so fast and you don’t know why it's doing that.

“H-he’s not my husband. He’s my boyfriend’s best friend. Can you please call Jaehyun?”

Xiaojun did not know what to do. Does he really have to call Jaehyun because you asked him to? But he’s your husband... “You can’t remember me? W-what am I? Or who am I?” Xiaojun asked softly, careful not to stress you but he is very frustrated and broken right now. “Y/n, I’m your husband. Were married”

You look at him. Long and hard as if you’re telling him that you don’t have time for his sick jokes, you were in an accident for goodness sake. But while you’re looking at your husband with disgust, Xiaojun never thought he would see that look you gave him again. After years and years of being together and happily married... now you’re back at being disgusted and annoyed with him.

“Get out”

You said when you saw your wedding ring and some pictures of you and him on the side table. Xiaojun followed your request with a heavy heart and you see it in his face. But everything is too much. You don’t know what’s heavy to take, you getting hit by a car or waking up with Xiaojun being your husband.

Later that night, Xiaojun came back to your room just to check up on you and found you sleeping soundly. What happened earlier hurt him but it will never change his love for you. With all his bravery he said the news to your family and admitted that he is in need of help. “She can’t remember me as his husband, I think it will be better if you guys come here and take it from here. I don’t want to pressure my wife” even his frustration is obvious thru the phone your mom thought.

The next day, you were glad to see your parents but not exactly glad to see Xiaojun arrive with them. He was quiet the whole time the doctors were explaining the things you need to do in order to regain your memories and your parents are talking and filling you up with the years you don’t remember. “By the time you can leave the hospital, it’s better if you go back to your normal routine,” the doctor said.

They were going on and on to how much of a good husband Xiaojun is, how he’s taken care of you for years, how you used to be so in love with him. But every word that your parents told you seemed so strange and new to you. How? Why? Why him? Are the questions you want to be answered now but your head hurts already. “I can’t take all this in one day” you asked them to stop. “It’s getting pretty late too, I think you guys should go home and we’ll do this… when I need it”

In the next few days, you asked Xiaojun to stop seeing you or visiting you anymore just so you can think of a way on how to deal with this at your own pace. You also told him that you will be staying with your parents from now and they can take care of you without him. “I’m your husband, I can’t just leave you Y/n” he said sternly.

“I know- Xiaojun I’m thankful that I have you now and you’re all honest to me and my parents like you. But I feel like I don’t know you right now, am I suppose to come to your house and play house with you?”

At this point, Xiaojun can feel his heartbreak into pieces. He can’t do anything. He thought that you asking him not to see you anymore was heartbreaking enough that he wanted to punch the wall. But when he saw you remove your wedding ring, that made him weak and hopeless.

"Don't leave me. Please don't do this"

“It’s not divorce, Xiaojun. Maybe I will remember you tomorrow or next week, who knows? But right now, I’m lost and I know that I have to take care of myself-“

“But I can take care of you. Think of this baby,” he came closer to you, desperately held you close to him, and surprisingly you liked it. Like your body remember Xiaojun’s warmth but your mind can’t. “We met again two years after you broke up with Jaehyun. Leaving Jaehyun was a decision you made for yourself. Then I came along and won your heart, we dated and now we're married” you watch tears in his eyes fall which you unconsciously dry with your thumb.

“And this is another decision I’m doing for myself. If you love me or care for me, you would let me go” you asked of him, with all the softness you have left for the man.

You gave the ring to him and thankfully he accepted it, although he begged a little more but, your decision is final. Knowing that what you’re doing right now is basically torture for him and it breaks your heart too, but what can you do? You don’t remember him as your husband, and you just know him as the person who annoys you the most.

All he can do now is wait for you to regain your memories and hope for the best. But even if you hate him again, he will still love you fiercely and wait for you to come in his arms.

[falcor-thee-luck-dragon]

Rough Night

Bucky Barnes x (f)werewolf reader

Summary: Your life is already so weird, thankfully Bucky loves you through it all.

Warning: fluff, reader being a sass master w/ no filter

side note: couldn’t think of any cool avenger powers and then brain went werewolf so here we are

Masterlist

If you had a dollar for every time you’d ended up in the woods with ripped clothes and no shoes, well, let’s just say you could probably afford a real nice two bedroom apartment in some real pleasantly fancy building with a great view and all. Too bad green doesn’t just rain down from the sky every time the full moon comes round to knock you back into another world of blurry confusion.

You won’t lie to yourself, being what you are is strange and not very common in the slightest, obviously. It’s even weirder that you weren’t bitten one night and turned just like that, oh no, all passed down through the bloodline of other strange relatives. So you’re gifted with the curse, forced to inevitably change into a furry beast every single full moon, so what you’re still a mostly pleasant individual.

Well luckily for you, being born with the gift does happen to have its perks which do come in handy. For instance, you’re incredibly strong, quick on your feet, and have heightened senses, plus the ability to shift on command. It’s not all bad, well......most of the time.

Honestly you truly thought life couldn’t get much stranger for you and your whole hidden secretive situation, until low and behold some random red head found your little hideaway in a remote mountain side village far off in the Himalayas.

Everything was completely fine and under control and then BAM, she showed up with some important documents and something called an Avengers initiative and well shit, guess some time spent with the real world couldn’t hurt. I mean come on, some more friends seemed like a nice idea and uh, somehow they knew who you were so too late to run and hide.

Also at the time, considering you lived like a recluse on the edge of the village and of course for good reason, but damn if the red head didn’t just hand you an open invitation for some real adventure. Who were you to say no?

Fortunately for you, all seemed to go in your favor and fantastically enough, they had a nice big strong cell for you on nights when the wolf was inevitably bound to come out. A fridge full of plentiful snacks, a training room to lay off some steam, and a big safe and secure room all your own. It was perfect. Only problem was, there happened to be a very attractive and very wary of you super soldier who undoubtedly caught your attention.

How could you not, he smelled divine, muscles for days, thick thighs that could make a girl swoon, and he just seemed like the best goddamn hugger alive. Okay listen, maybe you were touch starved and deprived of human affection but dammit if your little monster heart didn’t skip a beat every time he was near you.

And yes, the few months it took to get him to crack was just down right torturous. But with some coaxing from Steve and encouragement from Sam, the winter soldier at long last did talk to you. Turned out he thought you were scared of him all along, how hilariously ironic you thought when he told you that.

But as time progressed and you both opened up more and more, a blossoming relationship sprouted forth, eventually evolving and manifesting into a big beautiful flower called love. Cheesy yes, but you couldn’t have dreamed of anything better.

And seriously, he wasn’t freaked out about your whole hidden hush hush secretive gift that usually either goes in your favor or ends up causing you major legal trouble. The man himself, Bucky Barnes, thought you were a marvel to behold, so odd and fantastic that he couldn’t stay away even if he tried.

And for that you could love him forever, especially now after a full moon while you’re out in the middle of nowhere. Hoping that the team will send your hundred year old boyfriend out to find you in the brisk dark morning after a grand unrememberable adventure. Which would be very nice of course, considering you have not a damn clue what you’ve done.....or where you are.

Cracking your back, you stretch your hands up to the dawning sky as a tired yawn escapes you. It’s been a long night and you look like a wild woman with your hear a fluffy nest and your clothes ripped in various unrevealing places thankfully.

Your surroundings are simply trees and small scraggly bushes, green grass underneath your bare feet and a small stream flowing in the near distance. With a second to listen, you can hear a highway a couple miles away to the east, guess that’s a start.

Rubbing your eyes you set out in that direction for about twenty minutes before a blue and gold Mercedes comes into view from the side of a country back road, it stops when you guess the driver spotted you from the tree line. Keeping a wary eye on the fancy sports car, you keep walking towards it until a figure gets out and leans against the passengers side door all cool and casual, then on further inspection you realize the driver is Bucky.

Yes! My knight in shining armor is here!

Trudging through the grassy field in the dewy morning light, he watches your every move, eyes crinkling in amusement as you come to stand a couple feet in front of him. Undoubtedly looking a bit wild, and very tired as you fold your arms underneath each other, giving your dark haired lover a shy almost fangy smile.

“I know I look like a hot mess.” You mutter with a shrug, biting your lip as you dart your eyes to the fields behind him, slightly embarrassed of the current disheveled state you’re in.

Bucky smirks before pushing himself off the car and engulfing you into a big Bucky bear hug to your pleasant surprise, “Y/N I’m just glad you’re okay and nothing bad happened to you.” He mumbles into your shoulder as you press yourself closer to him, letting yourself have this wonderful moment to relax and feel at ease.

Slowly pulling back to look up at him, you smile, “Aww Buck you were worried about me?”

He returns the grin, leaning down to press his head flush against yours, “We all were, me more then anyone else of course...and maybe for the general civilians nearby.”

You laugh nervously, “Oh right, yeah. Well hey, I didn’t destroy anyone's car this time. I think I’ve made progress.”

He pauses for a brief moment indicating he’s not sure if he should tell you something and this does make you nervous before Bucky finally lets out a little laugh, “You ate a whole cow Y/N.”

Snorting in surprise you quickly pull your head from Bucky’s, “What? Did I? Please tell me you’re joking.”

“Yeah, uh I wish.” He admits with a casual reassuring squeeze to your arm, “We tracked you with Sam’s suit tech, yunno Red Wing, and uh....you seemed to be having fun.”

Mentally and just about physically cringing at yourself, you purse your lips together in slight embarrassment, “Shit. Was it gross?” You ask, making a face that causes him to chuckle.

“A little.” Adds Bucky with another casual shrug to make you feel less terrible.

“Is the farmer going to see everything, I mean shit they’re gonna be so pissed.” You worry, biting your lip anxiously as you break eye contact from him. “Why am I like this.”

“Uh, that’s not going to be a problem.” Inquires Bucky causing you to find his blue eyes once again.

Eying him up suspiciously you raise a brow, “And why’s that.....Bucky what did I do?”

Taking a breath he gives you a small apprehensive smile, “Y/N...you uh, kind of ate......everything.”

“I what?” I did not! No way, right?

Giving you a quick kiss on the cheek he smiles affectionately, “I’m going to be honest with you here it looked like a kid with a piece of cake who has no impulse control, and loves cake....like a lot.....Rodney almost puked.”

Rolling your eyes you fake glare at him, “Oh god who all watched my little horror show?”

“Mostly everyone.”

“Jesus.”

“It’s like a car crash Y/N, we don’t want to watch but we can’t look away. Sorry doll.” He confesses apprehensively, though honest and sincere knowing you do feel bad for what you do when out of it.

“No.” You say honestly, pausing for a moment, “It’s fine. Seriously Buck, I’m just relieved you guys keep taps on me while I’m out, god knows I can’t help what I do and where I go. It’s nice to have people making sure I don’t injure any innocent bystander.”

“Yeah I guess so huh...alright Y/N/N,” Chirps Bucky with a beaming grin as he attempts to shift the mood to a less dull one, “let’s get out of here, I mean unless you want to sniff around the place for awhile...it is a nice forest over there and all but I guess we can stay and I’ll let you...”

“Alright Barnes, can-it or maybe I’ll bite you.” You tease with a playful squeeze of his bicep before breaking out of his strong grasp.

“Depends on the context maybe I’d enjoy it.” Adds Bucky sarcastically, side eying you with a half smile as you move to open the car door.

Shaking your head in playful disapproval you lightly shove him aside, “Believe me you wouldn’t.”

——

The ride back to the Avengers base or headquarters or facility, who the hell knows at this point, was actually quite smooth and peaceful. Then again you fell asleep as soon as Bucky made it onto the highway, and continued to catch a much needed nap for the next hour ride home.

No one ever said you were easy alright, but let’s be real, Bucky would let you put him through anything and he’d be happy about it.

After parking and walking down the sidewalk past some early morning trainees catching a run, the two of you made it into the Avengers official HQ where all your rooms and other luxury’s are located. But of course not before walking past the facilities giant living space and huge kitchen.

Just keep looking forward, keep walking, walk faster you idiot!

“Y/N!” Shouts Sam in that stupidly peppy obnoxious early morning voice of his, no doubt gaining the attentions of Steve and Natasha who are seated at the kitchens bar talking about some mission report.

Pausing in the large doorway that’s not giving you or Bucky a whole lot of hiding space, you take a deep breath before turning to acknowledge him, “You’d think people would be sleeping considering it’s only six in the morning.”

Chuckling, Sam raises his protein shake, “Weird,” He says while giving you a knowing smirk, “we missed you during training this morning.”

Nat and Steve conceal their amusement as you simply roll your eyes, “Yeah well it was a long night.” You mutter unenthusiastically, earning the tiniest laugh from Bucky which causes you to throw him a glare. Knocking that smile right off of his handsome stubbly face.

“Well we got all these shakes here if you two love birds want one. Hate to have em go to waste.” Adds the smiling man with a nod, if he doesn’t just love seeing you looking like shit. No Sam I do not accept this invitation for you to tell me how crazy I look.

Sam means well of course, but damn he loves teasing you in front of Bucky for a fun reaction out of him. And it’s kind of working, but not on Bucky.

“It’s fine Y/N, you don’t have to have one if you don’t want to.” Calls Natasha before taking a sip from her mug. “Just ignore Sam, he’s been annoying since the gym.”

Before Sam’s even able to speak you quickly narrow your eyes at him, holding up a finger before making hasty steps across the room. Stopping right in front of him, “Give it.” You deadpan.

Brows raised in surprise he glances from a confused Bucky, then back to you again, “Listen I only made so much, Y/N this is my breakfast okay you can’t just...”

Ignoring his rushed rambling you pull out the whole glass blender full of protein shake before taking a step back as the whole room goes quiet, then never breaking eye contact you heartily drink up the whole entirety of its cold contents without missing a beat. Yeah, definitely needed that.

After you’re finished you lick your lips in satisfaction, taking a step closer towards a speechless Sam as you set the blender back in its place. Giving him a satisfied smirk before walking back over to Bucky where you tug on his jacket to follow you down the hall and away from everyone else.

Sometimes you can’t help but be a little dramatic.

——

Laying sprawled out on yours and Bucky’s giant mattress, you stare up at the ceiling as he folds your clean and freshly scented laundry, your mind swirling with thoughts of what duties you have to be apart of today. Blah, work.

Sighing gently you glance at Bucky to see if he heard you, not getting anything from him you sigh again with more grandeur this time. Nothing. Rolling your eyes you suck in a deep breath before practically soft yelling out your exhale like the dramatic little beast you are.

Glancing over to Bucky, you watch as he turns around to put some of your pants away in a drawer. Okay then, that’s how it’s gonna be. Quickly sitting up, you smirk a devilish grin before silently reaching over to pick up a small pillow, once in hand you don’t think twice before launching it at full speed directly headed for the back of his head.

But before your decently soft projectile can smack his precious flowing locks does a metal arm swiftly reach up to catch it mid flight. Oh, shit. Bucky’s head turns to you, brow raised at you before tucking the pillow underneath his arm, and going back to his usual domestic duties for the day.

Okay, killer of fun Mr. James Buchanan Barnes.

Frustrated from lack of a reaction out of him, you stand up on the bed like a warrior about to give a great battle cry. Eyeing his cute butt up for a moment, you smirk once again before launching a sneak attack pillow right for his head. It sails magnificently across the room before a metal hand stops it in its place. 

Well, shit.

This time he gives you a proper look, full of mischief and a new profound playfulness that sends an excited thrill throughout your entire being. As fast as one of Thor’s lightening bolts does the pillow soar in your direction, but conveniently for you he’s forgotten just how quick you can really be. This is just what you wanted.

Dodging to the left you watch in almost slow motion as the fluffy cloth just misses your face, instead opting to smack against the back wall with a loud thud. Snapping your attention back to Bucky he narrows his blue eyes at you suspiciously while you let out an admittedly scary villainous chuckle.

Let’s party my love.

He hands you a smirk right before shifting his body to the right, arm cocked back and thrust forward just as quickly, launching his second pillow attack without an ounce of mercy. You see it coming a mile away and as graceful as a dancer do you flip off the bed, landing perfectly on the carpeted floor just as the pillow smacks hard against the door. Thwack!

Slowly standing, eyeing him up like a lioness to her prey, you give him a satisfied smile, “Missed.” You tease.

Letting out a breathy laugh, Bucky takes a cautious step in your direction as he tests the waters, “Y/N what are you doing?”

“Getting your attention you ass.”

Chuckling he takes another step forward, “Was I ignoring you?” Duh, that’s why I, oh wait he’s playing you.

“Well you certainly weren’t doing anything interesting.” You sass as he steps again closer, this time about an arms length away.

The corners of his eyes crinkle in amusement, “Okay that’s fair, but was the pillow really necessary?” He asks, though his tone is still humorous.

Not falling for his alluring charm you tilt your head to the side, a knowing smile breaking out across your face as he tries to register what your true intentions are. “Yes, and so is this.” You quip before dropping to the floor for a side sweep of his legs, in an instant he’s on the ground and looking wide eyed up at you.

God he looks beautiful. No, focus.

“Y/N!” He whines breathlessly, brows furrowed as he holds himself up by his elbows, “Now you’re gonna get it!”

Taking a quick step back you snort, “Oh really now?”

And he’s fallen for the plan.

“Yes, and when I get you, you won’t be laughing anymore.” He grumbles, trying to keep himself from laughing as well.

“Alright then hot stuff try and bring me down.” You snap back playfully as he rises to his feet, “First one pinned has to run with Sam later, and we both know how much fun he is to run with.”

Bringing his arms up into a defensive position he readies himself for an attack, “Yeah, I’d rather not be his jogging buddy today. I mean it is raining outside, but I know you’d look real nice after a wet run.” Teases Bucky with a smirk.

“Touché you smartass.” His lips twitch into a grin as you ready your own stance. “Now let’s dance.”

[curiosi-tea-writes]

Ice Cream

Pairing: Din Djarin / Cobb Vanth

Modern AU

Summary: The very beginning of Din and Cobb’s relationship. It all started with an astronomy class, ice cream, and hockey.

-----------------------------------------------------

"Look, its not my fault you don't pay attention in class, Cowboy," Din laughed as he flipped the page of his notebook.

'Actually, it is,' Cobb thought with a light scoff.

And it really was as far as Cobb was concerned. It was entirely his fault for wearing that dorky NASA hoodie to every astronomy class every day. It was his fault for the way he pushed up his glasses every time he asked a question even if they weren't falling down. It was entirely his fault for deciding to be his partner that first week of class when he could have gone with any other person. It was most definitely his fault for making Cobb enjoy a class he was only taking for science credits.

 All the little things he caught out of the corner of his eye - little smiles, quick glances he couldn’t help give in response. All the times he realized that Din’s chair was slightly closer than it was the class before. All the times he caught himself double checking the mirror before he left his apartment. That was all Din’s fault.

The professor’s voice drew him out of his thoughts. He was always almost upset when someone interrupted his thoughts, especially when his thoughts were about Din. If he were being honest, most of his thoughts these days were about Din. 

“Hey, Cowboy,” Din whispered with a nudge, still looking at the professor. Anybody else wouldn’t have even realized he had said anything at all. Cobb glanced at him quickly with a soft hum. “Did you want to get ice cream after?”

Cobb wished he could claim he didn’t stutter out his answer, but he did. All he could do after was lower his head to hide the red of his face. Din was glad for that - it meant Cobb couldn’t see the small smirk he couldn’t help at getting the answer he had wanted. 

After class, Din and Cobb sat on a bench, eating their strawberry and peach ice cream. Din happily jumped right into his explanations of what they had learned in class that day. Cobb listened as intently as he could, trying hard to not allow his mind to wander. He wondered if Din knew how soothing his voice was or if he was completely oblivious to the way his voice made Cobb feel. He was so focused on Din’s voice that it took Cobb a good twenty minutes to realize that this ice cream date was a study session. 

“Din?” he cut him off in the middle of a sentence he hadn’t really heard the words of. “Why are you helping me?”

Din ran a hand through his already messy dark hair and chuckled. “Well, you need help, right? I mean, I know you’ve been struggling with the class.”

“So, you feel sorry for me?” Cobb scoffed. He slouched a bit in his seat and huffed out a sigh, surprising himself at how he went from drastically happy to be with Din to being drastically upset.

“No,” Din said a little too quickly. He shifted on the bench, tucking one of his legs under his other, tossing his arm over the back of the bench so he could fully face Cobb. He sighed, realizing he had actually offended him. “Look, you’re a hockey player, right?”

Cobb nodded, still not really wanting to look at him.

“So, you’ve already made it clear you’re taking the class just for credits. But I actually really enjoy astronomy. Why not let me help you actually try to pass it?”

With a sigh Cobb turned and mirrored Din’s position. “Alright,” he sighed with a nod. “Yeah, fine. You’re right.”

With a smile, Din continued. And surprisingly to himself, Cobb actually began to retain the information.

--------------------------------------------

As the semester passed, the ice cream dates continued. As Cobb’s grade in the class slowly became acceptable, they stopped being about studying and instead became just about each other. Cobb learned about Din’s son and Din listened to Cobb’s recounts of hockey games. 

“I’ve never actually been to a hockey game before,” Din laughed, taking another bite of his ice cream.

Cobb perked up with a smile. “You should come to the next one. We’re having a party afterwards since it’s the last one of the semester, you could come to that too.”

“I thought you didn’t like your teammates,” Din questioned.

“I don’t, but I’m expected to go to these parties.” 

“I’ll think about it,” Din reasoned. 

And think about it he did. The entire week leading up to the game. He sent far too many texts to his friends asking for their opinions, each of whom sent him messages back which stated something along the lines of “just do it.” So on Saturday evening he threw on his hoodie, grabbed his messenger bag, and headed out the door, calling out a “thank you” to Peli for babysitting on his way out.

He sat at the top of the bleachers, bundled up in his hoodie, wishing he had brought another jacket. He couldn’t help his smile when Cobb came out on the ice and he continued smiling the entire time, his eyes following Cobb closely. He understood nothing about the game, only really half understanding the terms Cobb had dropped when they would get ice cream. 

At the first break he watched as Cobb glanced around the seats before skating over towards him, waving his hand for Din to come down. Din chuckled and did as he asked and joined him at one of the doors leading onto the ice as Cobb took off his helmet.

“Enjoying the game?” 

“It’s cold,” Din remarked, forcing a chuckle from Cobb which in turn caused one from himself.

“Well yeah, it’s ice!” Cobb gave him a small look of pity before holding up a finger and skating away, leaving Din standing alone awkwardly. He was glancing around and hardly noticed when Cobb had returned, a black leather jacket and scarf in hand. “Here, now you won’t freeze to death.” He opened the door and handed the jacket to Din who took it thankfully.

He quickly put it on over his hoodie, pushing his hands deep into the pockets with a huff.

“Better?” Cobb asked with a laugh.

“Much, thank you.” Din attempted to ignore the new warmth on his face. 

“Here,” Cobb said quickly as he unfolded the red scarf and wrapped it around Din’s neck. “Now you’ll really be warm.”

They stood there for a long moment, both just basking in the moment. Din opened his mouth to say something else, not really knowing himself what he wanted to say. Well, he knew what he wanted to say, but he didn’t think that it was something Cobb wanted to hear. He was saved, however, when one of Cobb’s teammates called for him to rejoin the team. Cobb just gave a bright smile and a small wave as he turned and skated back.

The rest of the game passed much more comfortably. Din really tried to ignore the amount of Cobb’s cologne he could smell in the scarf. He more than once caught himself with his nose deep in the scarf before telling himself that it wasn’t right and he straightened his back and tried to focus on the game. He smiled brightly when there was down time in the game and Cobb would catch his eye and gave a small wave. 

When the game had ended Din waited outside as everyone cleared out of the rink, jacket and scarf in hand, leaning against a light pole near the curb. Cobb came outside, turned around talking to two of his teammates. He was in the middle of a laugh when he turned and saw Din. His loud laugh quickly turned soft along with his eyes and he gave the darker haired man a large grin. He excused himself from his group and made his way over to him.

“How was the game?”

“You just played it,” Din pointed out with a laugh. At Cobb’s glare he nodded, “I enjoyed it. Thank you for inviting me.”

“Thank you for coming,” Cobb returned easily. 

There was another moment of silence much like inside the rink. Neither really cared about the chill of the air or the late hour. They just wanted to stay there, staring into each other’s eyes.

At the sound of a car honking, Cobb jumped and turned towards the source to see his teammates in the car waiting for him. “I should-”

“Yeah, yeah,” Din said. “You go. You have a party to go to.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to come?” Cobb asked as Din handed him back his scarf and jacket.

“I’m sure. Parties aren’t really my scene. Plus Grogu is at home, I should get back to him.”

Cobb nodded and they said their goodbyes. “I’ll call you later,” Cobb shouted back to him as he got in the car. Din just nodded with a grin and waved him off before heading back to his apartment.

------------------------------

Din was woken up by his phone ringing loudly. He had fallen asleep on the sofa after having fought to get Grogu to bed. He was still in his jeans and hoodie, and still just as exhausted as when he had sat down. He shushed his phone in a panic, knowing it would do nothing to actually help, just not wanting Grogu to wake up. He glanced at Cobb’s name across his screen.

“When people say ‘I’ll call you later,’ they typically mean at least the next day,” he grumbled when he picked.

He heard Cobb’s chuckle on the other end. “Sorry, I didn’t want to wake you. And technically it is the next day.” He sounded almost as exhausted as Din felt.

Din hummed. “What time is it?” He glanced at the clock in the kitchen but his eyes were too blurry from sleep to read it. 

“It’s 1 am. I’m really sorry.” And he sounded really sorry too, which broke Din’s heart.

“It’s alright. Are you alright?” he asked in a hurry, finally awake enough to realize Cobb wouldn’t be calling so late unless he needed to.

“I’m alright.” Din sighed in relief. “But I do have a big favor to ask.” He paused and took a deep breath. “Is there any way you could come get me? Or call somebody to come get me?”

“What happened?” Din was back on edge. He could hear the frustration in Cobb’s voice.

“I just,” he sighed again, “I’ve had too much to drink to walk home, I don’t like the idea of asking someone here for a ride, and if I stay here any longer than I have to somebody is getting punched.”

Din was already up putting on his shoes. “What’s the address?”

The next few minutes passed in a blur. He quickly woke Grogu up enough to get his jacket and shoes on and get him into the car. The kid was out again seconds after his father buckled him in. Din drove as steadily as he could, trying not to panic or speed and failing at both. When he finally got to the house, he pulled up front and checked on Grogu before getting out and locking the doors, deciding he couldn’t and shouldn’t take him with him to the door. 

He rang the door bell and the door was quickly answered by a disheveled looking college student. “I’m here to get Cobb.”

The man looked him up and down and chuckled. He turned his head over his shoulder and called out, “Vanth, your boyfriend is here!” 

“Oh, no,” Din said quickly. “I’m just here to pick him up.”

“Hey, Darlin’,” Cobb slurred as he came to the door, wrapping his scarf around his neck. 

There were whistles from the other hockey players inside the house and Cobb just rolled his eyes and he pushed past the player at the door and throwing he arm over Din��s shoulders and he pulls him towards the car. 

Once they were inside and Din was pulling away, Cobb cleared his throat. “Thank you for getting me,” he whispered. He turned and glanced at Grogu still asleep in his car seat behind his dad. “I’m sorry, sometimes I forget you’ve got a little one.”

“It’s alright, he’s sleeping through it. He won’t even remember this in the morning,” Din answered honestly. They were silent for a moment before he pulled over and parked the car at a random curb. He turned and looked at Cobb who was looking extremely confused. “Did you tell your team we were dating?” 

“No, why?”

“Because they think we are,” Din spoke pointedly.

Cobb stuttered for a moment. “Aren’t we?” Din froze. When he received no answer, Cobb continued, “Weren’t all those ice cream study sessions dates?” 

“I-,” he paused and took a breath. “I didn’t think they were dates, did you think they were dates?”

“Well, yeah.” 

They sat in an uncomfortable silence for the first time ever. Neither knew what to say. Grogu made a frustrated sound behind them and they both turned towards him, concern on both their faces. Realizing he was still asleep, Din relaxed. He locked eyes with Cobb and chuckled. 

“So,” Cobb spoke softly, officially breaking the tension. “Since those apparently weren’t dates, would you like to get ice cream on Tuesday? 2:00?”

“As a date?”

“Yes, Din,” Cobb laughed, “as a date.”

Din hummed and nodded. “Yeah, that sounds good.”

---------------------------------

Tuesday afternoon he spent hours pacing his apartment. Peli had taken Grogu around 1:00 to allow Din time to get ready. He had traded his NASA hoodie, which he realized Cobb had never not seen him in before, for a simple button down and a jacket. He kept going back to his hair, trying to make it perfect but the fluff wouldn’t settle down the way he wanted. 

Really what filled his mind was thoughts of Cobb. They hadn’t talked much since the night of the party. Din couldn’t help the thought that kept racing around his head, “Cobb was drunk when he asked him out.” 

He didn’t believe that Cobb, even drunk, would say something like that to him and not mean it. But he couldn’t help the doubt.

He sat on the sofa, his elbows on his knees, watching the time tick by. 

At 2:10, he felt his heart drop. He was seconds away from picking up his phone to call Peli when he heard a knock.

He opened the door to see a very out of breath Cobb standing in front of him. 

“Sorry, I know I’m late, I had to deal with something.” And by ‘something’ he meant he was also attempting to get his hair perfect. He looked Din over and smiled sadly. “You’re not wearing your hoodie.”

Din looked down at himself. “It’s a date. Aren’t you supposed to look nice for dates?”

“Well yeah, but,” Cobb paused and chuckled, “you just look so cute in your hoodie.”

“I can go put it on if you really want me to,” Din said with a laugh and a nod towards his room. 

“Nah,” Cobb shook his head, “you look really nice, just making me feel underdressed, is all.”

Din laughed and stepped out into the hallway, pulling his door shut and locking it. “Come on, Cowboy. Let’s go get ice cream.” 

He let Cobb toss his arm over his shoulders as they walked and all Din could think was how glad he was that the school required everyone to take a science class.

[kurosara]

Hongjoong x Reader

I didn’t proofread this or anything. I just wrote some middle of the night comfort I needed. 

Angst, sad

I felt my spine unconsciously shiver as yet another cool breeze fluttered heavily past me. A quick glance at my phone told me it was nearing 3 in the morning. The dim light of the screen faded, as my eyes cast back to the bare sky. It was a new moon tonight, and there weren’t many stars out either. There wasn’t anything interesting in the chilly fall weather, unless you counted the never slowing raindrops falling down my cheeks.

Why was I even crying again?

I couldn’t remember. I’d been crying that long. It hadn’t felt like it, but I’ve been sitting on the balcony of my bedroom, suffering in the chilled air, for nearly 6 hours. How long could such an overwhelming feeling last?

An eternity…

A cynical voice taunted me further with evasive thoughts similar to this. It’s dark, and lonely. I’ve whispered curses and wishes to no one. I’ve replied to… no one. Because all I could wonder was if anyone was really listening. The neatly decorated interior, fit with (f/c) furniture and various art pieces and large photos of me and my boyfriend hanging on the wall, felt eerily cruel the moment I walked in. The fleeting thought of my boyfriend stuck for a moment, like the breath hitching in my throat as I visualized his soft smile, a bit of nervousness from smiling at me for the very first time. The happy thought turned sour, the smile fading into a blank stare.

“I’ll be home late…”

The image dissipated with his words. I could barely taste the remnants of the ramen bowl I’d forced down before coming out onto the balcony. The taste was bitter and dry as I forcefully swallowed the growing lump of anxiety. My fingernails, or rather the remaining nubs since I’d chewed off all my nails earlier, felt sticky as they scratched nervously at the cold concrete I was sitting on. I could only assume it was blood from the scraping contact. The balcony’s railing taunted me similar to bars of a jail cell. But at least in prison there are other people.

But here? In this dark and lonely space I created for myself? There is no one. I’ve self-isolated. And every attempt to escape has never been followed through. If I unlocked my phone you’d see the contact pulled up where I’ve nearly called him. And before that a lengthy text that boiled down to one thing; I need you. The text was never sent of course. However, even now as I describe these feelings and sensations, I don’t feel them. They aren’t processed in my mind or my physical body. I simply sat in the corner of the balcony, knees pulled to my chest, staring into pure dark, as my body and the world continued past my racing thoughts of how this is where I should be.

I deserved to be alone.

Keys jingled in the background and it was painfully obvious the individual tried being quiet, but it wouldn’t matter. He could’ve kicked the door in screaming, and I wouldn’t budge an inch.

Hongjoong removed his shoes and hung up his coat on the nearby rack. His bag made a soft sound as he tried to gently slide it onto the couch, hoping his partner was sleeping peacefully, and trying not to disturb that. As he typically did when he ended up home this late, he trekked to the kitchen for a bottle of water to carry to bed. As he exited the kitchen, a cold breeze caught his attention.

Where’s that coming from?

Just like Hongjoong. He knew how much I hated being the slightest bit cold, so the house was always a warm temperature. He narrowed his eyes slightly as he gazed around the empty living room, noticing the cracked balcony door. Cautiously, he approached the door, peering out just the slightest bit and hoping there was no intruder lurking around.

Though he’d really hoped for that to be the case right now versus the sight he was met with.

His eyes barely made out my trembling figure in the corner, huddled against the wall. Immediately Hongjoong turned on the outdoor light and rushed to my side, carefully kneeling beside me.

“Y-y/n?” The worry was so thick in his voice, yet sweet. Like honey.

There he was. My boyfriend. Acknowledging my presence as he always does, yet I hadn’t heard a word. There was no light, though he very clearly turned one on. For a moment Hongjoong panicked. His eyes worriedly scanned my body, searching for any signs of hurt or reason for my being like this. He saw the bloody fingers and the tears still flowing. He knew what was happening, for sadly he’d seen it too many times even before they were dating. At least more times than I’d like. By now though, Hongjoong knew almost how to help. He adjusted his position to sit in front of me, his knees pulled up like mine. He touched his knees to mine, gently pulling my hands from the concrete as he rubbed soothing circles with his thumbs.

I felt the tingling of sensation from the touch, still all I saw was a never ending tunnel of darkness. Hongjoong brought my knuckles to his lips, placing gentle kisses on them before resting them onto our knees. His thumbs didn’t stop caressing the top of my hands as he simply stared into my eyes and mustered the kindest smile he could as he looked at my broken state.

“I know you probably won’t process what I’m saying right now, and that’s alright. Just focus on my voice ok?” He took a shaky breath, feeling his own tears well up, “You’ve been having a hard time lately haven’t you? I know you’ve been eating well and everything because I’ve seen it, but that doesn’t mean you’re alright. And it’s ok to not be ok. It’s not your fault.”

There was a flicker of light, like a shooting star passing across my vision. I swallowed another lump, feeling a bit of warmth from the original tingling sensation.

Hongjoong squeezed my hands, trying to urge warmth into your shivering body. Just the thought of how long you could’ve been freezing made him sick to his stomach. Nonetheless he continued to talk as calmly as he could.

“Just remember that there is someone here for you. I know you don’t always believe that, but it’s true. I am here. Right here.” A single tear rolled down his cheek unwillingly. “I’ll help you pick up the pieces you feel are broken and hold them together for you. I’ll be here to hold you steady when you’re shaking and keep you warm when you’re cold. I’m sorry I was late this time. There’s no telling how long you’ve been here.” Another tear. “But I’m here now baby. I love you.” He squeezed my hands gently once more.

Like a thread, his words formed a silver lining in the dark tunnel. My vision corrupted from pure black, to blurry shapes and images. The feeling of being frozen to my core was slowly warming in the places where his body touched mine. And finally, his beautiful, kind smile. So bright, and such a contrast to the dark space I’d been suffering in. There was a soft ringing that slowly got louder, as I realized his lips were moving. Hongjoong was speaking, yet I could only hear the ringing. Hongjoong saw the way my eyes scanned his face just the smallest bit. His smile grew a bit.

“There you are. It’s ok. Take your time.” He leaned forward, never breaking eye contact as he kissed the back of my hands lovingly.

I squeezed his hands gently, the feeling, or void of feeling, was quickly fading, and in its place a crushing weight on my throat and lungs. My chest heaved at my increased breathing pace, worrying Hongjoong as he realized the anxiety was setting in more than the previous emptiness. Without releasing my hands, he scooted to sit beside me. He let go of one hand to wrap his arm around my shoulder, leaving a gentle kiss on my temple as he whispered sweet nothings.

His voice trickled in like a small river, every other word registering before his kindness fully processed. My beating heart didn’t slow, but it became easier to breathe as I buried my head in the crook of his neck silently. He pulled me closer with one arm, resting his forehead on my hair.

“Do you want to go inside and get under the blankets?” The first full sentence I’d registered in my mind.

I absentmindedly nodded, but before I could attempt to move, Hongjoong was picking me up bridal style, careful like I was an expensive glass or diamond jewelry. Once in our shared bedroom, he placed me on the bed before tossing back the covers and tucking them around me like a child. With a reassuring smile he left the room. Although I knew where he was going, I gripped the covers tightly anxiously waiting for his return.

In a matter of minutes Hongjoong returned with two cups of hot chocolate with small marshmallows, and a pack of hershey’s kisses tucked under his arm too. He set one cup down and offered me the other, which I had to fumble from under the covers to shakily take the cup. The warm liquid felt comforting, with just a splash of caramel the way I loved it. A soft melody played as Hongjoong connected to the bluetooth speaker on the dresser, playing soft instrumentals he had been working on the days prior. Hongjoong climbed into the bed, careful of me and my drink, and opened the chocolates, feeding me one as he grabbed his own drink.

He took the drink gently from me, and pulled a small first aid kit from his pocket, beginning to tend to my wounded fingers. He tried to be as gentle as possible, though I couldn’t stop the involuntary flinching everytime there was direct contact to the broken skin. He continued mumbling soft apologies and comforting words nonetheless. Once he finished wrapping my fingers, he continued with his early motion of serving me my drink and feeding me hershey kisses.

I’m not sure how long we sat like that. Hongjoong rested his head against the headboard, one hand gently playing with strands of my hair, while the other held my own hand. Originally, he had alternated between feeding me chocolates and bringing his now cold drink to his lips. The time on Hongjoong’s phone read 5:52 am. I had long since finished my drink and passed out with my head on his shoulder sometime after 4 I think. Hongjoong hummed softly to the still playing music, like a soothing lullaby. He wanted to make sure I was fully asleep before deciding to move.

Hongjoong gently laid me on the pillow, going to turn off the lamp he’d had on and turning the music down a little more, before crawling back into bed. He cuddled me from behind, his warm chest pressed against my back as he pulled me closer to him in a tight embrace.

“Goodnight my love. Have sweet dreams. When you wake, I’ll be here. I promise. I won’t let you be lonely in the dark if I can help it. I love you. So I hope you use that love as a light. It’s not too late. So don’t give up, ok? We can do this. I love you.”

With a simple kiss to my head, he nuzzled closer, leaving me with floating thoughts.

It’s not too late. I’m not alone.