#i thought people would tear it apart bc there was a thought that it was a translation by netflix or whatever. but nah. they are just nasty | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

shdysders · 5 months

Text

the fallout

pairing: jenna ortega & female reader

summary: in which you and jenna unexpectedly run into each other after a long complicated time, which makes things take a big turn for you.

word count: 4.8k

warnings: 18+ heavy topics; depression, suicide, unhealthy weight loss.

authors note: my longest imagine so far, but also the darkest one i would say. please tell me if it’s too confusing bc i feel like it might be. the ending is a little rushed, so tell me if you have any questions about it.

The weird thing about relationships is that they have a way of defying expectations. Just when you think you have it all figured out, love throws you a curveball, leaving you both bewildered and amazed. Especially when you're in a relationship that's all out in the public, everybody knows about it and is all up in your business. Not that any of that mattered if were deeply in love.

Although the lack of privacy and a judgmental crowd could ruin som parts of it, you wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

Your girlfriend Jenna, was everything you had ever wanted, not because of the fame, nor the money, but because she was the epitome of your dreams. She embodied everything you had ever hoped for, ever since you were a little girl.

When the news about the it-girl's new girlfriend got out, the whole media was astonished. The movie star had never shown any interest towards girls publicly, or any romantic feelings at all for that matter.

After the surprising information about your relationship with Jenna, you guys quickly became a huge favorite among the fans and admirers, known for being the biggest love-birds on the internet. Every paparazzi picture that was ever taken of the two of you contained heart eyes full of admiration while the two of you looked at each other.

Everyone made it their goal in life to find love like the two of you had.

The life in the spotlight was a whole new experience for you. You had no clue about what it was going to be like til you got pushed into it in one day. But you didn't complain, thanks to the relationship with your girlfriend your dreams of becoming a musician came true, and before you knew it; you were known as one of the biggest rising stars in the music industry.

To say your life was complicated would've been an understatement. Considering both of you had very different careers, you guys barely made as much time for each other as you did before.

Jenna was barely home due all of the big jobs and interviews she was assigned for, which obviously hurt your relationship more than it should've. It felt like every moment she got the chance to be home with you, was about her being filled with anger and stress; taking it out on nobody else but you.

In other words the American 'it couple' wasn't as perfect as the public thought, they had painted up these perfect expectations that they were sure you guys lived up to, and that was one of the main reasons on why the media was aghast when the news about the thing leaked out.

The break up.

The separation shocked the whole audience, mainly fans that had followed you guys since the beginning, but also people that barely knew who you were. Everything happened so unexpectedly, nobody could ever see it coming.

For some reason, the break up almost became more known than the time you were actually together. Mainly because news leak out rather quickly, but also because nobody could figure out the reason for it, and Jenna's ignorance did not help when it came to solving the mystery.

Only one week after the incident Jenna was back at set, doing interviews and events, acting like nothing had changed. Which the media found extremely strange, some people even thought the break up didn't happen at all.

They didn't have much information about the reason for the break up, only a discreetly taken paparazzi picture of you leaving Jenna's apartment in full on tears; that was quickly leaked on the internet with all sorts of captions and headlines.

That was the last picture the paparazzi could ever take of you before you disappeared from the spotlight completely. Nobody knew why, not even you.

The day Jenna broke up with you, was the day your whole life fell apart. She was everything you had, due your parents always being neglecting or gone for work trips. Jenna was the only thing you were living for. That's why you went home that day, and barely went anywhere else.

You wallowed in your small apartment for days, eventually the days turned into weeks, the weeks turned into months, and the months turned into years. You would go a long amount of time without eating or drinking, and you couldn't remember the last time you had gotten a proper night sleep or eaten a full meal.

This was a big deal for the media, what could've possibly happened that made the next rising music star disappear completely? Some people actually thought that you and Jenna didn't break up at all, just that you decided to keep it private.

Some tried to convince the public that maybe the singing career wasn't for you and that you might've just started working as something else, but nobody believed that considering the fact that Jenna had said you looked happier than she had ever seen you when you were on stage. Well, that was in an interview when the two of you were still together. Nowadays you could never catch the actress talking about you.

It was never revealed why the separation happened or who was responsible for it. The only people knowing about being you, Jenna, and your families.

Jenna had broken up with you just a few weeks before your birthday. She claimed that both of you had completely different goals in life, that you were heading in different directions and we're holding each other back. You tried convincing her that all you would ever want in life was her, even if it meant dropping everything you had. But it didn't work.

After hours of pleading and crying, Jenna had instructed for you to go home. To your "home" that in your mind wasn't nearly close to a home, it wasn't somewhere you wanted to be. You wanted to be with her, in her apartment, like it had always been.

That's when the photos were taken of you, but the tears in your eyes and panic feeling in your throat stopped you from noticing. So did your depression from seeing the news and articles about you.

Time passed, and you still didn't get better. You didn't try to get better either, seeing no point if your future wasn't with who you wanted to. You tried telling yourself that you would wait for her to come around, she would realize how much you belonged together and would eventually come back to you. That was worth living for. The only thing worth living for.

Since the depression made time feel like it just flew by, you weren't really surprised when already two and a half years had passed since the break up, and the more days that passed, you were starting to doubt that Jenna was ever gonna come back.

In your mind, Jenna was thinking about you every day, trying to find the right way to come back to you, but whether it was true or just your brain trying to start a war with you, you didn't know, nor care.

But what you also didn't know; due to the lack of time you spent checking the news or social media. Jenna's life had changed way more than you thought and imagined.

She had met someone new.

***

Walking down the busy streets of New York was basically a part time job while living there. Jenna was an expert about it if anyone, and in her state right now, it was even tougher to make it through, like an intense workout.

Finally making it to one of the calmer streets, she made sure to catch a breath; like the doctor had told her if anything felt too heavy while moving, she was carrying extra pressure after all.

Walking through the city, carefully sneaking glances into the shops she passed, curious to see who was in the different areas today.

After for what felt like hours she finally made it to the library, where she was supposed to borrow some books for herself to keep her entertained for all the following weeks were she supposed she would just lay at home, waiting for something to happen with the growing thing inside of her.

The bell above the door greeted her with a ring as she opened the door, the librarian giving her a small smile before going back to her work at the front desk.

Jenna returned a small smile, trying her hardest not to let out a loud sigh from all the walking as she held her stomach, her footsteps making the carpeted wooden floor creak as she walked.

The library looked fully empty, it usually was considering it was a pretty small one, not one of the best looking either; smelled like dust and looked like it was something from the early 2000s. But it was her favorite one, it always had the books she was looking for available.

Looking through the different shelves, trying to find the right one she was looking for, letting out a few grunts when she had been standing still for too long, flipping through the books. She heard a creek of the floor coming from the other side of the 'corridor' in the small library.

Carefully directing her head towards the sound, she noticed a slim figure standing there, delicately flipping through the pages of a book in her hands.

A recognizable feeling ran through Jenna's body as she watched the person. The hair gracefully draping over the shoulders, exuding an aura of elegance and charm, as if it were a scene from a captivating book.

But when she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, revealing her side profile and the wide eyes curiously scanning the text on the pages of the book. Jenna's eyes could process who it was, and the sight made her throat feel thick and cold sweat beginning to form on her body. Despised that, she still couldn't stop herself when she walked forward, calling your name.

"Y/n?" Her voice creaked out.

The voice calling your name quickly made your head turn to where she was situated. And when your eyes met hers, you could swear you felt your heart finding a place in your stomach. She looked just as the day she broke you, although her face was a little bit more swollen than the last time.

You wanted to smile, you wanted to hug her and tell her how much you had missed her. But your body didn't move. Did she search you up? Did she come here to take you back?

Your eyes were filled with admiration as you inspected Jenna's face. You couldn't say the same for her eyes, they were filled with worry and was scanning your whole body.

You barely looked like yourself. Your eyes that was once bright and full of life, was now replaced with tired ones with a red waterline, the wrinkles that used to be visible under your eyes from smiling so much, was now replaced by dark eye bags that told her that you hadn't slept for ages.

Your body didn't look the same either, the clothes you were wearing practically swallowed you whole, your face had sunken a huge amount and the exposed part of your collarbone showed that you had lost a ton of weight.

"Jenna..Hi." You almost shuttered out, unsurely moving your hands to put them in the front pockets of your pants.

She tried pushing the worry of your current state to the side as she tried to start a conversation with you. "Hi.." She smiled, noticing that you were trying so hardly to smile back at her.

"It's been so long, I– It's so nice to see you again." Jenna spoke almost eagerly, being quick to break the silence that tried to sneak through the two of you; knowing that silence was not something you loved as much as she did.

"How have you been doing?" She added to the conversation, when she in reality should've walked away the second she saw you. But she just couldn't, you had always had the ability to get her captivated by you, no matter what the situation was.

You swallowed thickly, trying your hardest to get your voice to sound normal. "Fine.." You spoke lowly, nodding a little receiving a small nod from her as well.

"Great, actually." You tried again, wanting to sound more confident this time. Because maybe there was a bigger chance she would take you back if she knew you were doing good.

"Yeah?" Jenna nodded bigger this time, smile growing bigger on her face. "What about the music? How's that going?" She asked carefully, hoping to receive that sparkle in your eye that she would see every time you got the chance to talk about your music.

But who was she trying to fool? She knew exactly what had been going on with you. She knew you weren't playing anymore, that nobody had seen you ever since your last concert almost three years ago.

Jenna would be lying if she said she never searched your name up incase there had been any news about you, because she did it every day.

She had been trying to text you a few weeks after the blow out, even trying to wish you a happy birthday when the day arrived. But she was never surprised to see that you hadn't answered any of the text messages she had written whenever she had the time.

And sure, the guilt was getting to her, basically everyone knew that the reason for your downfall was her, her mainly or her only, it didn't matter. Knowing that she might've been the reason you looked like this, made her heart fill up with a deep ache.

Her thoughts came to a quit when she noticed you ashamedly directed your head down, finding your shoes interesting. But Jenna didn't stop, she wanted to see that spark so badly that her mouth moved faster than she could process.

"Y–you're gonna have to tell me of you're having having a concert or something... It would be so much fun to see you again." Jenna spoke, the words falling out of her mouth before she had the chance to think them through.

You were now looking at her again, a mix of emotions painted on your face. But Jenna could see the forced smile that made its way up on your face.

But you were starting to grow impatient. Did she come here to take you back or not? That's why you softly tried to ask her the question you so badly wanted her to ask.

"Would you like to grab a coffee some day?" You felt your heartbeat quicken at your own words, even more when you saw her face lit up with a smile.

But the sentence meant totally different things for the two of you. For you it was a date, but for Jenna it was a friendly request, basically telling her you wanted to keep going as friends.

"Yeah I–I'd love that.." She nodded, almost laughing while talking, making her stomach feel heavier than before, which made her caress it carefully with one of her hands.

And then it came, the sparkle in your eyes she so desperately wanted to see again. It appeared in your eyes for a split second, making her breath hitch as she carefully watched you with a smile.

But your happy expression with sparkles in your eyes was quickly exchanged with a crushed one when your gaze followed down to where Jenna's hand was placed. Tears almost immediately filling your eyes as you looked down at the bump on Jenna's stomach, along with the diamond placed on her ring finger.

Jenna immediately noticed your change of emotions, almost feeling ashamed as she watched your breathing stop for a split second. She bit her lip nervously, trying to figure out your next move.

"I–I uhm.. I have to get home." You hurried out, quickly wiping your eyes before the tears had a chance to fall.

Jenna could feel her mouth open trying to say something, but nothing came out. She sadly watched as you quickly walked away from her and out of the library, making herself feel like she made a mistake by even walking up to you.

She didn't know you weren't aware of her pregnancy, because she thought you did, technically everyone knew about it. The whole world was in shock when the news about the pregnancy of the new it girl came out; posting it everywhere as soon as it was revealed.

But what Jenna didn't know was that you had deleted all social media platforms from all of your devices, not taking any chances of seeing fake news about yourself or headlines about Jenna being happier than ever; when you were about to let your bed swallow you whole.

You couldn't hear Jennas voice calling your name when you hurried out the store. The high pitched beep and the loud voices in your head taking over your thoughts.

She didn't come to take you back, she didn't plan to find you at all. She doesn't want you back in her life, she's moved on. She didn't think about you every day, she had someone else to think about now.

Your legs were moving so rapidly that you could barely feel them, the tears in your eyes refused to fall no matter how close to the edge they got. You didn't blink, you didn't think, nothing was worth it.

The quick steps turned into slow ones as the thoughts disappeared from your mind. Now that you got the confirmation about the things you prayed weren't true. There was nothing to live for.

If you were going to live a future without the person you had thought about for three years straight, there was no point.

***

The day at the library had been clouding Jenna's mind for two days straight, never leaving her alone no matter how hard she tried.

She couldn't stop thinking about your crushed face; that she could only see for a second before you rushed away. It reminded her way too much of the face you wore when she ended things between the two of you; the face that she had nightmares of for months.

She had tried to leave messages and calls to your number; she wanted to talk things out. She wanted to still know you, and based on the person she saw a few days before, she couldn't anticipate how difficult that process would be.

She didn't know who you were anymore, and the pain of not knowing the person that was once the most important individual in her life was eating her alive. She weren't in your life anymore, so that's why she was surprised to see your mother's name and number appear on her phone screen.

Both hesitation and worry filled her veins as she answered the call from your mother. You had never had a close relationship to your parents; they were gone for work trips the majority of your childhood.

Jenna tried to greet the woman on the phone, but quickly shut her eyes in embarrassment as she heard how shaky and questioning her voice sounded.

But your mom didn't seem to notice. "Jenna! Hi.." she sighed out of relief. Jenna could almost hear her sniffling on the other line, making her brows furrow out of confusion. "How have you been?"

"I've been great.." Jenna answered, uncertainty lacing her voice, "Sorry what is this about?" She tried to cancel the dry talking, feeling her worry growing bigger every second that passed.

"Oh yes of course.. sorry." She sniffled again, making the concern in Jenna only growing stronger.

"I uhm, I'm calling to say that..." Your mother paused, like the words that were about to come out of her mouth were poison. "Y/n is no longer with us.." She finished, a muffled sob leaving her mouth.

Jenna felt like her heart took a plunge, sinking into the depths of her being. "What?" She managed to breath out.

"She killed herself last night.." Your mothers shaky voice explained, followed by quiet sobs.

The whole world felt like it stopped. And for a second, Jenna could almost hear your laugh fill her eardrums, your smell filling her nostrils, your smile filling her eyes and your touch roaming her body.

This couldn't be true, there was no way. She was just about to make things right with you.

Jenna couldn't find her voice, it was like it had fallen the same path as her heart. Her mouth opening but nothing coming out, mind only focusing on you.

You, you radiated joy like a sunbeam, brightening everyone's day with your infectious laughter. Your magnetic personality pulled people in without hesitation, like a bees to a field of blooming flowers. Your heart was full of sunshine that spread warmth and happiness wherever you went. Your effervescent spirit bubbled over, filling every room with laughter. People were drawn to you like a moth to a flame, captivated by your vibrant and lively presence. And now you were gone.

The person she saw at the library just days before, was nothing like the person she once knew you as. She didn't know what destroyed you like that, but something did, and she felt the need to know what.

***

Jenna stared at the steam that was flying from the big coffee mug. She felt as if she was teetering on the edge of sleep, her eyelids heavy and her body yearning for rest.

She didn't get a single wink of rest that night, tossing and turning throughout the whole hours of darkness.

The tiredness was quick to disappear when she heard the sound of the bell ringing, signalizing that somebody walked in. She rapidly turned around to check who it was, careful not to make herself dizzy due the exhaustion.

When she saw it was your mom who walked into the coffee shop, she tried shooting her a tired smile, but it quickly disappeared when she saw your mothers state.

She had messy hair, red waterlines and faint eye bags under her eyes, but they were no where close to the ones she saw on your face three days before.

Jenna rose to her feet, ready to shake the woman's hand, but to her surprise your mom just walked straight into her, embracing her with a warm hug.

Your mom slowly pulled away, keeping her hands in a soft grip on Jenna's shoulders and looked into her eyes with a tired smile, almost inspecting her face.

Your mother had asked Jenna if she'd liked to meet up somewhere, just to talk. She accepted without hesitation, feeling like it was a must in their situation.

She was nervous tho, she hadn't seen you or your mom for about 3 years, and she didn't know how much you had told her about the break up. But your mom didn't seem to hate her like she would've thought, she didn't have a single look of hatred in her eyes when she looked at Jenna.

"So Jenna.." your mom sat down in the chair in-front of her on the other side of the table. "Do you have any new projects coming soon?" She smiled, picking up the coffee mug from the table and taking a sip.

Jenna couldn't help but feel at home, a smile creeping up her lips. "Yeah..Yeah I do actually. I have a few." Making your mom nod with an even bigger smile.

And she did, she did have a few coming out soon, but she didn't have any projects that she was currently working on. But she couldn't say that, because then your mom would ask her why, and she couldn't answer that. She couldn't say that she was pregnant when your mother had just lost her daughter. That's why Jenna wore a black coat, trying her best to cover it up; it was just for the best.

"We actually watched one of your most recent projects a few weeks ago.." She kept the conversation going, wiping her mouth with her sleeve. "And I really liked it. You're a very talented girl.."

Jenna could feel herself blush at the compliment, but it quickly faded when she realized that was what you used to call her. She was your talented girl, and you were hers.

"Thank you.. Thank you that means a lot. You're too kind."

Your mother smiled sadly, "Y/n loved it a lot as well." She tried, but maybe it was too early to talk about you.

The sound of your name falling out of your moms mouth made a thick layer of silence fall between them. Jenna felt like the room turned smaller, making it harder to breath. She gulped, but the woman in-front of her didn't seem affected by the words; her tired expression didn't change. But she looked down towards the coffee on the table as she started to speak.

"Y'know.. I thought she had gotten better since the.." Your mom abruptly halted her words, as if they were toxic and she couldn't utter them. "Her last attempt." She sighed out, rubbing her temple gently.

Jenna furrowed her eyebrows, her mouth opening before she could even think. "What?"

Your mom returned the furrowed brows, not understanding the younger girl's confusion. "Her last attempt." She repeated, suddenly in a much more questioning tone than last time. "Last year." She tried to explained further.

Jenna's posture that she had previously straightened now fell, a small 'oh' falling from her lips. She didn't know about that, but what did she expect? You hadn't talked to each other in over three years, of course she didn't know about that.

"It was so nice of you to interrupt your filming just to check up on her." Your mom was now smiling at Jenna again.

It felt as if her entire being was in a state of disarray, with every fiber of her being unsure and bewildered. "Check up on her? Wha– I didn't do that." Jenna stuttered like a messed up vinyl on a record player.

Maybe it was rude to admit such a thing, and in such a confused tone as well. But Jenna couldn't help it, she had no idea what the woman was talking about.

Your moms smile faded as a confused expression took over her face. She opened her mouth to speak, but Jenna broke her to it.

"Mrs L/N, me and Y/n have been broken up for three years." She hesitated while speaking, unsure if it was the right thing to say. Maybe she already knew?

But based on the shocked reaction she got showed that she didn't til now. "Three years?" She questioned, not sure if she had heard it right.

Jenna just nodded as a response; her mouth too dry to say anything more. The grimace on your moms face made her nervous, not having a clue on what was going to happen next.

Your mom didn't lash out like Jenna thought she would, she just put a hand over her mouth, tears almost visible in her eyes.

Jenna began to panic, did she ruin it all? Is your mom going to hate her now? All kinds of questions flashing through her head, you had clearly not told your mom the whole story, how much did you tell?

Without having to ask the question herself, your mom spoke up, like she could've read Jenna's mind. "She told me you guys broke up three weeks ago.." The tears almost fell from her eyes, nothing but confusion and sadness pooling in her eyes.

Jennas mouth opened and closed like a fish in the water, not knowing what to say at all. Why would you lie?

"And she called me the night before, rambling about how she saw you and that you wouldn't want her back like she had wished. I didn't understand what she was talking about.." Your mother spoke rapidly, almost too quickly for Jenna to recall what she was saying.

Jenna's mind went blank, her ears shutting your mothers voice out as she continued talking. The last part she heard was that you had told your mom it was your first time going outside of your apartment in months; aside from going to your therapist.

That's when it all clicked; it was her fault. She was the reason you had flipped and didn't want to live any longer.

You had spent all of your three years waiting for Jenna to take you back, and she didn't. Instead she found another man, got pregnant and engaged to him.

You had waited for her the whole time, but your anticipation was left unappreciated, by her and her only.

#jenna ortega x fem!reader #jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega #angst #female

444 notes · View notes

exhaslo · 6 months

Note

Hello exhaslo! I was wondering if you could write something for me🥺

I had this idea in my head for a while. ( Don't mind my English, it's my second language-) Soo can you write about Psycho Miguelx shyreader? I want to see miguel stalk reader, obsessed over reader, steal her clothes or panties for "whatever" purpose.. watching her sleep like a psycho- you know-

Until one point he kidnap and locked her up. Torture her but he still love her like a crazy obsession (dark scene maybe). He would try to be good to her (like try to bath and feed her) but she's just doesn't cooperate and miguel piss off easily.

If you do write it pls tag mee? This is my first ever request in thumbler. (I don't know how this app works) 🕴️

Hello! Hello!! Gotta love me some crazy Miguel. I'd feel like after a while a shy reader would give into the psycho bc they'd be too scared to escape. Maybe like Stockholm Syndrome?

I believe you will already receive a notification since I'm replying to your request, not quite sure how it works either, haha.

Warning: MINORS DNI, Smut, stalking, kidnapping, p in v, Stockholm syndrome, abuse, will try and make this as not concerning as possible, but if you remotely are not comfortable with any of these topics then I highly suggest avoiding

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Spiderman is a hero! Spiderman does nothing wrong! Spiderman will help the citizens of Nueva York! Spiderman! Spiderman! Spiderman!

"Silence." Miguel hissed lowly.

It was a quiet night aside from the constant voices that reminded Miguel of his responsibility. The annoyance that he had to burden himself with and live to those standards. So many people treated him like a God. Everyone worshiped him, but none of them were willing to give him what he wanted.

At least, until you came along.

Miguel sat against a building, watching you leave work. It was only a short while ago that you started to work for Alchemax. You were a ray of sunshine in Miguel's life. He had to have you for himself. A beautiful, shy angel who just moved into the city.

His angel.

Miguel had already approached you at work, revealing to be the kind coworker to help you with anything. He wanted to start off well, at least the side that he was going to show you. Afterwards, he was going to find out everything about you as Spiderman.

"She lives so close to me," Miguel whispered, watching you enter a building.

His eyes sparkled as he followed your sweet scent up the floors. Once you stopped and entered your apartment, Miguel nearly groaned at the sight. He watched from the window as you stripped and prepared for a shower. Such a clueless beauty.

"She left her window unlocked for me," He whispered, entering your apartment.

You were humming quietly to yourself as you showered. Such a soft and low voice that should only be for him. Miguel would listen to you forever, but he didn't want you to catch onto him, yet. Grabbing your panties, Miguel inhaled towards you scent, groaning lowly.

"H-H-Hello?! I-Is...Is anyone there?!" You squeaked, turning the water off.

Miguel cussed to himself, quickly fleeing the scene. He stuffed your panties in his pocket and watched as you hesitantly stepped out of the bathroom with nothing but a towel and a bottle of shampoo. How cute. Like that was going to stop him.

"P-Please...I-If anyone is...is there...I-I don't have anything." You cried, shaking in fear.

Miguel resisted a chuckle. You had everything. You were everything. Miguel was going to have you for himself. He just needed to wait for the right time.

-------

"I-It was so scary! I-I really thought someone broke in!" You cried your eyes out at work towards Miguel.

"Don't cry, amor (love)." Miguel whispered, wiping your tears away with his thumb. You sniffed, staring at your wonderful coworker,

"S-Sorry...I...I just...I didn't expect this...I'm new to the city...and...and I just..." You felt your lips quiver as you tried to think, "A-Also, my underwear disappeared...m-maybe my apartment is haunted!"

"I'm sure you just misplaced them," Miguel lied knowing full well that your panties were now covered in his cum, "It could be the stress of moving to a large city. It will take some time to...adapt," He whispered, patting your head.

You rubbed your eyes, smiling brightly towards Miguel. He was just a nice coworker and good looking too. You were happy to have gotten close to him during your stay here. Thanking Miguel again for letting you vent, you pecked his cheek before hurrying off to work.

Miguel just smiled wickedly as he watched your scurry off. Those hips of yours just begging to be grabbed by him. Your soft voice just waiting to cry his name out. Miguel needed more of you. He had to have more of you.

---------

There he was again, outside your window, watching you walk around your place half naked. Oh, how tempting you were. His shy little angel just walking around in nothing but your panties. You were just asking him to go in there and fuck you.

Miguel decided to leave your clothes alone today, for he had something else in plan. He waited for you to fall into a deep slumber before entering the apartment. His eyes sparkled brightly as he saw you clearly in the dark.

"Oh, my lovely (Y/N)," Miguel whispered, stroking your naked body, "I know you must be dreaming of me,"

"Mhm~" You shifted slightly in your sleep.

Miguel hummed quietly as he started to stroke his dick beside your bed. He wanted to touch you, but he was afraid of waking you. Miguel had to be patient. Resisting a moan, Miguel kept pumping his dick to the sight of you sleeping. Oh how he wanted to see you wrapped around him.

"Fuck," Miguel whispered as he cummed over your body.

He sighed softly in relief before cleaning you up. He didn't want you getting anymore scared and locking your windows. Once you were cleaned, Miguel swiped the panties you were wearing and left to finish relieving himself at home.

---------

"I-I don't know what to...to do. I-I've never been asked out before," You whispered, hiding in Miguel's lab.

It had been another week of your panties going missing and you were officially scared. The last two nights you had stayed at a coworker's place, wanting to sleep easy. This made Miguel angry. He couldn't find you and now someone had the nerve to confess to you?

"M-Miguel? A-Are you okay? I...I can come ba-"

"I'm fine, just haven't slept well these past two nights." He told you. You slowly approached him, stroking the bags under his eyes,

"Oh, Miggy. I'm sorry! I-I've been ranting this whole time while y-you're this tired!" You whined softly. Miguel grabbed your hands, kissing them softly,

"Dios Mio (My god), you make me want to steal you away, (Y/N)." Miguel whispered, watching you grow flustered, "Will you let me do that?"

You squeaked, feeling your cheeks grow hot. Honestly, you weren't expecting that from Miguel. Yes, you liked him a lot, but this was straight up flirting. Trying to hide your face from embarrassment, you just smiled, wanting to play along.

"S-Sure," You said sweetly.

--------

You whimpered lowly as you slowly felt yourself come to your senses. You vaguely recalled what happened before you lost consciousness. It was time for you to clock out and you saw Miguel waiting for you. He offered you a ride and then you knocked out.

Rubbing your eyes, you looked around and noticed that you were in an unfamiliar bedroom. Tears started to form as your heart raced in fear. Even your clothes were changed. You were wearing a long night gown.

"M-Miguel...A-Are you there?" You cried softly.

Crawling off the bed, you gasped as you felt something tied to your foot. You whimpered, spotting the cozy chains that held your ankles in place with a long chain connected to the bed.

"(Y/N), you're awake." Miguel hummed as he entered the room with a tray of food, "I brought you dinner."

"M-Miguel...I-I'm scared..."

"Shh, it's okay, baby. I know, but it's all going to be okay now. You did give me permission to take you away after all." He said with a sadistic smirk. You trembled slightly,

"I-I thought...y-you were just...just flirting..." You tried your best not to cry, "M-Miggy, p-please...I'm scared."

"I'm going to take good care of you, (Y/N)"

Miguel placed the tray to the side and crawled onto the bed. He pulled you closer to him and captured your lips into a forceful and deep kiss. You were shaking as you tried to push him away, but he was too strong for you.

You whimpered as Miguel's tongue ravished the inside of your mouth. His hands holding your wrists in place as his body pinned you to the bed. You were terrified. The man you thought who cared for you was a psychopath.

"You taste just as sweet as your panties," Miguel whispered, pulling you onto his lap and grabbed the tray.

"W-Wait...y-you took...h-how?"

"Ah, since you're going to be my wife, I suppose you should know. I'm Spiderman. I've been watching you, making sure no harm came to my beautiful wife,"

"H-Huh!?"

Your face turned bright red at the thought. This whole time it was Miguel who snuck into your place and stole your underwear. Now, he had stolen you. Trying to free yourself, you whimpered as Miguel forced you back into his lap. You cried, feeling his bulge press into your ass.

"Don't cry, eat. You need your energy."

"N-No! I want...I want to go home!"

"You are home!" Miguel yelled.

Sighing heavily, Miguel watched as you shook in fear and covered your ears. He moved the tray away and turned you around to face him. He wrapped his arms around your waist and rested his head in the crook of your neck. You were crying. Shaking in his arms.

"I won't ever hurt you, (Y/N). I promise to take care of you." He whispered.

--------

It had been a week since you were held hostage by Miguel. Each day he brought more of your stuff to his place, wanting you to feel comfortable. You couldn't forgive him though, but you were too scared to disobey him.

You poked your head out of your room, spotting the front door open. Miguel had placed an ankle bracelet on you, but that couldn't stop you from trying to escape and getting someone to break the device. You just needed to be fast.

Hurrying towards the door, you yelped as you got yanked back. You cried as webs locked your arms behind your back. Miguel approached you, bending you over the living room table,

"Oh, (Y/N), why are you trying to leave?" He asked, pretending to sound hurt.

"M-Miguel...I...I..." You knew better than to lie.

"I'm going to have to give you a punishment."

Tears rolled down your cheeks as you felt Miguel tear your panties off. You begged him to forgive you, but Miguel had already started to grope your ass. You trembled and whimpered as you felt his fingers rub your folds.

"I know you love me, (Y/N), you're just confused right now." Miguel whispered in your ear as he started to pump his fingers into your pussy.

You gasped and whimpered, trying to distract your brain. Miguel's thick fingers were stretching your pussy out, making your body grow hotter with each pump. You cried out a moan as his fingers curled and rubbed your gummy walls.

"See, look how wet you are. Just stop trying to lie to yourself."

"M-Miguel," You whimpered, your face pressed against the table, "I-I'm scared."

"Shh, you'll feel so much better after this. Honestly, it isn't even a punishment, baby."

Miguel chuckled darkly as he pumped his fingers faster into you. Your juices spilling against his fingers and onto the table. You cried, arching you back as you cam against his fingers. Miguel hummed to the sound of your moans and your throbbing pussy.

"Good girl,"

You panted heavily, shaking from your high. You yelped as you felt Miguel grab your hips and something thick poke your hole. You tried to raise your head, but Miguel pushed you back down. He lifted your hips and shoved his dick inside you.

"Ah! M-Miguel! S-Stop!" You cried, taken back from the pain.

Miguel slapped your ass as he pounded your poor cunt. Groans and moans escaped his throat as he finally enjoyed the feeling of his dick inside you. Your tight gummy walls sucking him in so much. The sounds of your bodies slapping against each other. Everything about his moment made him horny.

"Fuck, (Y/N), I've been waiting for this. You feel so fucking good. Your pussy just loves my dick. You're doing so good." He rambled, slapping his hips into yours harsher.

"A-Ah~ M-Mig~ W-Wait...I-I'm d-dizzy~" You moaned out.

"You're doing so well, baby. Just relax for me,"

You whimpered lowly as you felt your mind grow hazy. His dick was thrusting so deep inside you that you swore his tip kissed your cervix. Your body shook and trembled as it grew hotter. Another knot forming as you felt the pain turn into pleasure.

"Mhm~ M-Miggy~" You cried out, feeling your orgasm approaching.

You wanted to hate this. You wanted to, but you couldn't deny that deep down before he kidnaped you, you wanted this. Before Miguel showed his true colors, you liked him a lot. You weren't sure if it was your past emotions and feelings, but you were giving into him.

"Good girl, such a fucking good girl," Miguel groaned as you cam against his dick, "See? Already used to me."

Miguel inhaled to the sound of your moans and sobs. He grunted as he slapped his dick deeper into you, filling your womb. He let out a sigh of relief before removing the webbing from your hands. He flipped you over, enjoying your fucked out expression.

"I'm not done with you, baby. I'm going to show you how much I love you."

--------

It had been a year since Miguel kidnapped you. You weren't sure when, but eventually you gave in to him. Miguel was only trying to protect you after all. You were just being unreasonable. He loved you so much and you finally shared that love.

"M-Miguel, W-Welcome home...I...I made you dinner." You whispered shyly, gripping the bottom of your new night gown he bought you.

"(Y/N), how was my beautiful wife today?" Miguel hummed, taking off his mask and picking you up. You wrapped your legs around his waist,

"I missed you," You whispered, kissing him sweetly, "Miggy, can you stay home tomorrow? I...I'm a little lonely."

"Of course. I know just how to spend the day tomorrow."

Miguel smirked as you cheered, hugging him. He stole your lips in a passionate kiss, enjoying your submissiveness. It took some time, but he was glad that you finally saw what he was trying to do. Miguel knew that you loved him.

You were just too shy to admit it yet.

"Why don't we start tomorrow's plan now?"

You squeaked, covering your face as Miguel tore your panties again. Miguel chuckled lowly as he spent no time abusing your cunt with his dick. He was going to make sure that you weren't lonely anymore. What better way than to impregnate you?

"C'mon baby, tell me what you want." Miguel hummed as he slapped his hips into yours.

"Y-You! M-Miguel, I want you!!"

"That's right. You're mine."

And Miguel was never going to let you go.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Haha, kind of got a little worried with how dark I was going to make this. I hope this met your expectations!!

#miguel o'hara smut #miguel spiderverse #miguel o'hara x reader #spiderman 2099 #miguel o'hara #miguel o’hara x reader #miguel spiderman #atsv miguel #across the spiderverse #miguel ohara smut #dark miguel o'hara

546 notes · View notes

youunravelme · 4 days

Text

nothing happened in the way i wanted part 1

author's note: okay so let it be known that my FAV emily henry book is happy place (if you want a deep dive into my personality, if you want to know the inner workings of my mind, read the book) SO with that being said, this fic was inspired by that masterpiece. plus i've fallen down a matt rabbit hole as of late. just a warning, this is a LONG ass fic (74 pages and 30.3k words, not a brag, i kinda regret that it's this long bc my brain hurts) so pace yourselves okay? thank you for being the kindest people ever!! this is finished, but tumblr said what i wrote is too long. so i'm posting it in parts lolol.

summary: a year has passed and you are no closer to understanding why matt ended things and you have every plan of avoiding that thought until he comes back in town for the offseason, then suddenly he's everywhere.

pairing: matthew tkachuk x reader

warnings: ANGST, friends to lovers to exes to lovers, mention of sexual assault, attempted sexual assault, drinking, depression, panic attacks, let me know if i missed something!

after

despite being back in st. louis for six months, summer still felt like it came too fast. your thighs started sticking to the seats from sweat about three weeks ago. summer used to be your favorite season because it meant you had unlimited access to the love of your life, you weren’t sharing him with his teammates or his crazy schedule.

but he wasn’t yours anymore. matthew hadn’t been yours in six months and some change.

the second you entered your parents’ home, you tossed your keys into the bowl and slid your shoes off. it’d been six months since you moved home, and it still didn’t feel like a space where you belonged. you walked into the living room without so much as a hello from either of your parents, both of whom were posted up on the couch. they weren’t talking to each other, just letting the noise from the news fill the room instead of conversation.

“hey,” you greeted, plopping down in the recliner.

“how was work?” your mom asked.

you shrugged, not quite having the words to convey how mundane it had been. you were working on restoring a piece for this rich couple who lived in the same neighborhood as the tkachuks. it wasn’t in too bad of shape, given the fact that you were the one entrusted to work on it. if it was actually something incredibly complicated, your boss would’ve found someone else more experienced to do it.

when you entered art restoration and conservation, you thought it would be mindless. art had always been an escape for you, a chance to remove yourself from your racing thoughts. you thought that by entering the art conservation field, you could add onto something, enhance the beauty that was lost over the years of damage, instead of creating something from your own experiences.

but no one told you how hard it would be after your breakup, that you would have to learn how to pour bottles of chemical solvent into a glass when your eyes were blurring with tears. no one said anything about how you would spend hours hunched over, fixing the problems in paintings that only served to remind you that while you could mend a masterpiece, you were unable to stop and patch up the problems in your relationship. no one spoke about how you would inevitably relate to the paintings that came to you in shambles, the only difference being that clients would pay thousands of dollars for their paintings to be restored to their former glory, your ex let you fall apart alone in a city where you had no friends outside of the ones you’d made through him.

but how could you communicate that to your mother? to your father? both of whom stayed in an unhappy marriage for the sake of optics? how could you tell them that it’s been months and you were still no more over your ex than the day it ended? how could they understand you? they stayed together out of convenience, out of a fear of ending their marriage only to never find someone else.

it had been six months since your relationship ended, and you were no closer to understanding why.

“just a mundane day,” was all you said instead. “nothing to write home about.”

both of your parents hummed.

“did you have dinner already?” you asked.

“was gonna order pizza,” your dad said.

your mother scoffed and rolled her eyes. “no alan, we had plans to see chantal and keith tonight for dinner.”

you wanted to throw up.

you weren’t sure what you were expecting, maybe some loyalty from your parents? though, they weren’t fully privy to all the information about the demise of your relationship with matt, so maybe you couldn’t expect them to stop hanging out with his parents, especially when said parents were such great people.

“oh,” was all you could say.

“you’re more than welcome to order takeout and watch a movie,” your mom commented, like you needed permission to make yourself at home when you were actively living there. “i’m sure ronald would appreciate your company.”

you glanced at the tabby cat who was perched on his cat tree. personally, you had no issue with ronald, but he liked your mom and your mom only. though on occasion, he would allow your dad to pet him.

“i’ll figure something out,” you said.

your mom hummed before she stood up to go get ready while your father stayed on the couch. it was only another ten minutes before he got up to change quickly, and another five before they left the house without so much as a goodbye.

before

you were incredibly aware that you didn’t quite fit in. your mom drove you to school in a beat up 1997 toyota camry which looked incredibly out of place among the bmws and audis. your mom offered to walk you in, but she was wearing her scrubs from her night shift and her face looked tired, so you declined the offer and got out of the car yourself.

it shouldn’t have been as daunting as it was, but your old school wasn’t as prestigious as this one. your previous schools in cedar rapids had been public schools. no one was wearing a uniform, and most of the backpacks worn came from the same walmart in your old neighborhood.

but your parents had decided they wanted a better education for you, even if neither of them had the money to fork out thousands of dollars for a private school. your mom’s parents, however, were loaded. they were more than willing to fork out a small fortune for your schooling under the conditions of your family uprooting your lives to missouri. you were too young to realize what a sacrifice that was, you didn’t notice the snide comments your grandparents made about your father’s choice of career or your mother’s choice in husband.

you didn’t see your grandparents any more than you usually did since you’d moved to missouri two weeks ago. they’d been out of town on a trip to rome up until three days ago and hadn’t reached out to have dinner or hang out at all.

not that you cared at the age of nine, you were more focused on unpacking your room. but now that you were standing in front of the giant school alone, you felt like you should’ve been more concerned with how nice your school supplies were.

a kind woman greeted you at the entrance of the school. she smiled and introduced herself, though you couldn’t hear her over the roaring in your ears. she stood next to a blond haired blue eyed boy who was your height.

“are your parents here?” you weren’t sure how you heard her over the noise in your head.

you shook your head. “my mom had to go home and my dad is at work.”

the woman blinked. “is today your first day?”

“mom, it’s everyone’s first day of school,” the boy groaned.

“i wasn’t talking to you, matthew,” she said, though her eyes never left your own.

“i just moved here,” was all you said, albeit a bit quietly.

“well, you can walk in with us.” She placed a warm hand on your back and ushered you inside next to her son.

you took notice of her nicer clothing compared to your mom’s scrubs or your dad’s tattered khakis, though the woman’s clothing wasn’t as ostentatious as other parents’.

“do you know your teacher’s name?” the woman asked.

you nodded and showed her the crumpled paper in your hand. the night before, you were wracked with nerves and wrote your teacher’s on a blank sheet of paper and doodled around it. even at nine years old, you were concerned that you’d somehow forget. you couldn’t be more grateful for it now.

the woman’s face lit up. “oh how lucky! matthew look! you’re in the same class.”

matthew for his part, tried to look happy about it, but his eyes kept wandering to the hallways, like he was looking for people he knew. you felt bad for even being in this situation. you missed your friends from iowa and the light up shoes you used to wear before you were given a uniform.

matthew’s mom pointed out the classroom that was supposed to be yours and walked both you and matthew into the room. unlike her son, who immediately found his friends to do elaborate handshakes with, you stayed by her side. she was a stranger, sure, but she was more comforting that the classroom of fifteen other nine and ten year olds.

the woman sighed and bent down a little to look you in the eyes. “it’s gonna be a good day, sweetheart,” she said. “mr. terry is a great teacher, he’s really kind.” you weren’t sure how she would know that, but you weren’t going to call her a liar. “and if you need anything, ask matthew. he’s been going here since kindergarten, okay?”

you nodded.

mr. terry walked over and introduced himself. he had dark skin and a bright smile, showing you to your seat. your name was on a card with fun stickers on it. next to your seat, you saw matthew’s name. now it wasn’t necessarily an unpopular name, there were three matthews in your third grade class, so you weren’t holding out hope that it was going to be the matthew you walked into class with. but two minutes later, he was plopping down into the seat to your left.

matthew looked almost startled to see you sitting next to him, but when the shock wore off he gave you a crooked smile and stuck his hand out. “i’m matt,” he said, like you two didn’t walk into class together.

you shook his hand anyway and gave him a shy smile and told him your name, just in case he didn’t see it written on your desk.

if it was even possible, his smile widened. “pretty name,” he said.

after

you’d watched a movie and half of another one by the time your parents walked through the front door. ronald jumped off the couch to greet your mother while he ignored your father.

“oh,” your dad said. “you’re still up.”

“i’m about to go to bed,” you replied, though you didn’t move from the couch.

“dinner was great,” your mom commented. “chantal and keith said to tell you hello.”

your gut twisted at the mention of their names. you loved his family, you really did, but the mention of the family that was almost yours stung when you looked at how your parents acted like roommates on the best of days.

you remembered summer days spent in the tkachuks’ backyard, watching as matt and brady chased each other while taryn tried her best to keep up. you remembered your dad picking you up from their house, and how you begged the entire ride home for a little brother or sister. he looked at your through the rearview mirror and said “we already achieved perfection, why mess that up?”

but you were grown now. you saw how their marriage barely survived raising you, and they were probably being smart by not risking your upbringing just to have another child.

you bid your parents goodnight and headed up the stairs to your childhood bedroom. it looked less like the office it was converted into when you moved out originally. you didn’t fault your parents for taking advantage of your absence, you, like many people your age, had zero intentions of ever moving back in until an unfortunate set of circumstances happened to you.

and that’s what life had felt like lately:

unfortunate.

unfortunate shit just happening to you.

it wasn't late by any means, but you were surprised when your phone vibrated with a text message. maybe it was the fact that you hadn’t really befriended anyone since moving back that had you flinching at the shock of someone other than your parents (or grandparents) texting you.

you unlocked your phone and opened the message, sighing when you read its contents.

emma:

hey girl! just checking in to see if you’re still good for this weekend? no worries if you can’t make it!

you dropped the phone on your stomach and groaned into your hands as soon as they made contact with your face.

years of dating matthew meant you’d grown closer to brady and taryn and by proxy, brady’s fiancée, emma. you’d already committed to being a bridesmaid and bought the dress before your relationship with matt ended. when emma found out, she called immediately and gave you an out, said she wouldn’t take it personal, that she understood if it would be too hard.

but you remembered the countless conversations had about planning your weddings while the both of you watched the loves of your lives try not to kill each other from your spots on the back porch. and you could hear it in her voice, how much it meant to her that you would be there even if she didn’t want to push it on you. it didn’t matter that only one of you was getting the wedding you planned. the bets made on who’d get married first were obsolete now.

you wanted to text her back and say you were busy, but you hadn’t seen her much since her and brady came back in town. when the senators’ season ended in april, he and emma spent some time with her family and attended the playoff games for the panthers. now that the panthers’ season ended two weeks ago, all of the tkachuks were back in town which used to excite you.

now it just filled you with dread.

no, it’s not like you lived in the same tax bracket as matt’s family. you didn’t go to the same grocery stores unless you were tagging along. no, there was a comfortable distance between your neighborhoods and st. louis was filled with two million other people that the odds of running into him were slim.

but your anxiety preferred zero odds rather than a slight chance, and it made the logic that was once screaming at you sound like a small whisper.

you sucked it up anyway, though. seeing emma and the other bridesmaids was better than staying in your room and staring at the ceiling.

you:

i’ll be there! can’t wait!!!

and maybe you used too many exclamation points. maybe you were trying too hard to prove something no one would believe if they took longer than a split second glance at your face. you were a horrible liar, that hadn’t changed. you were just hoping by the time the weekend came around, you’d be too busy to focus on any of the pain.

before

the summer after keith retired, the tkachuks took you and your family on vacation with them to turks and caicos. your parents were stressed initially about the trip, but you were filled with nothing but excitement at leaving the landlocked state you called home.

missouri had slowly wormed its way into your heart. when your family moved, there was never a thought in your mind that you would ever come to love it like you did with cedar rapids. there was no way you’d ever consider this place your home. but then you met the tkachuks.

it’d been nearly three years since you’d first sat in that seat next to your best friend in mr. terry’s fourth grade class. now, you were splashing around in the waves with matt and brady while your parents looked from the shore.

school had been different the past two years, with matthew going to an all boys school after fifth grade while you stayed. it took some adjusting to being without him the entire school day. you didn’t want to think of yourself as codependent, or clingy, but mat was your best friend. it was an adjustment, having to make new friends in the same school.

now that wasn’t to say that you never saw matt. after your initial introductions, chantal offered to take you to and from school if your mom or dad dropped you off at their house in the morning. both of your parents jumped at the idea. your mother, who worked as a night shift ICU nurse, reveled in being able to go home and go straight to sleep. your father, whose job as an electrician required him to be on job sites early in the morning, didn’t mind it either, he had to be up early anyway.

and sure, you had to wake up earlier than you used to, but you got to eat breakfast and pretend like you were a tkachuk most days of the week (with the exception of the days your mom was off). keith would ruffle your hair as he passed you in the kitchen. taryn would race matthew for the seat next to yours.

the tkachuks felt more like your family than your own some days.

especially now when your parents went on a date that keith and chantal paid for while they stayed back at the beach house with you and their children.

all six of you were seated around the coffee table with the game of life laid out in front of you. the evening started out with a game of uno, but that game got out of hand quickly. it took brady reversing the order and hitting matt with a draw four before your best friend lunged over the table to tackle his brother. while keith broke up the boys, chantal cleaned up uno and instructed you and taryn to pick out the least competitive game you could find.

which is how you ended up playing the game of life.

even though life had to be the least competitive game you knew, matt and brady still managed to argue over it, even going as far to rant about how unfair it was that they had to pay for home insurance. keith and chantal had just chuckled and told them to enjoy childhood while it lasted.

you found yourself smiling and laughing along.

you weren’t quite sure who won, or how anyone ever really wins the game of life, but the moment mattered more. taryn went upstairs with keith to get ready for bed while brady helped his mom in the kitchen pop a bag of popcorn. you and matthew were responsible for cleaning up the game.

“are you having fun?” he asked.

your smile was so wide, it hurt your cheeks. “i’m having the best time. this is by far the best vacation i’ve been on.”

“really?” he smiled.

you nodded emphatically. “most of my family vacations have been spent with my grandparents.”

matt grimaced, already aware of the testy relationship your mom had with her own parents. “when’s the last time you saw them?”

you had to think for a moment, while your grandparents technically lived in st. louis, they were often out of town or ignoring your family’s existence altogether. with the exception of the last saturday of every month, when you and your parents were practically obligated to eat dinner with them. you didn’t notice their judgmental comments when you were younger and mesmerized by the giant dollhouse they bought for you.

but you were older now. you knew that there were terms and conditions attached to the cellphone they bought for you on your twelfth birthday. you heard the disdain in their voices when they talked down to your father and mother for their life choices. you weren’t an idiot, you understood that every compliment they gave you was a way for them to make your parents feel inferior in comparison.

you weren’t a child to them, you were a pawn in a game you never asked to play.

“we saw them about a month ago?” you shrugged. “they’re on vacation until halfway through august.”

matt hummed. “i think we’re gonna visit mom’s parents before school starts back again.”

to your credit, you did your best to look happy for him, even if it meant that you wouldn’t see him for a week and a half. you had other friends in town! in fact, you befriended a girl named simone when you started middle school. maybe you could call her when you get back to st. louis?

evidently, your little act wasn’t convincing enough. matt nudged your shoulder with his. “you’ll be fine,” he said. “you’re probably annoyed from how much time we’ve spent together this summer. you need a break.”

you couldn’t help but smile. “i could never get tired of you, matty.”

he blinked, almost at a loss for words, it felt like. but you should’ve known better, because he was holding up his pinky a beat later. “you promise?”

you locked your fingers together. “promise.”

after

it’s just emma and her friends and taryn, you thought. you already know all of these people. there’s no reason to be stressed out.

which, to be fair, your inner monologue was right. you had absolutely no reason to be standing in front of your closet debating what to wear for as long as you had.

before you could stop yourself, you were hitting emma’s contact and putting your phone on speaker. the dial tone rang out through the room while you waited for her to pick up. you were seconds away from ending the call when her phone sounded through the receiver.

“hey! what’s up?”

you exhaled. “i don’t know what to wear tonight.”

emma said your name through a laugh. “we’re not going anywhere fancy, i swear. it’s just dinner and then we’re going to a bar.”

you frowned. “so taryn’s not joining us after dinner?”

“no, she has other plans after dinner anyway. she said she was meeting up with some friends from high school.” as if she could see the hesitance on your face, emma spoke up again. “but you know all the other girls, it’s not like you’ll be hanging out with strangers.”

and she was right, you were in a groupchat with the other bridesmaids and found all of them to be quite pleasant.

“look, if you’re still stressed about what to wear, just wear jeans.”

“okay, but how nice is this restaurant?” you were rummaging through your closet. “because i’ve worn jeans to restaurants that weren’t supposed to be fancy and i found myself criminally underdressed.”

“yeah well, i’m better at communicating than matt is.” a gasp sounded through the receiver, like emma had just realized what she said. “oh my god, i’m so sorry—”

“it’s fine, you’re not wrong,” you said, forcing out a laugh even as your heart painfully squeezed in your chest.

“i really didn’t mean to,” she sighed. “i’m sorry, that was rude of me to bring up.”

you shook your head even though she couldn’t see you. “it’s fine, emma, i swear,” you said even though there were tears pricking in your eyes. “i’ll have to face the music eventually.”

“still, it was insensitive of me to say that.”

you cleared your throat. “don’t worry about it, i’m a big girl.” you pulled the phone away from your face so you could sniffle for a second without drawing any unnecessary attention. “so jean shorts tonight?” you asked.

there was a brief silence before you heard emma’s soft sigh over the phone. “that sounds perfect.”

before

matthew kissed you for the first time when you were hanging out with mutual friends after school in eighth grade. you’d been dreaming about that moment for years ever since sixth grade when you realized matt was handsome and the flutters in your stomach weren’t just from nerves anymore.

both of you were at your friend morgan’s house sitting in her basement. she happened to live in the same neighborhood as matt. so after school, you rode home with the tkachuks like you always did and then walked to her house.

morgan was the first of your friends to get a boyfriend and she wasn’t shy about telling everyone. it was easy to be jealous of her. while you hadn’t known her as long, your other friends had made it clear she’d garnered male attention since preschool. so there was no surprise that she’d announced at school earlier that week that she was dating someone from matt’s school.

hence the party in the basement.

morgan was the one who suggested truth or dare. she had all ten of you circle up on the carpet and sit criss crossed. you were keenly aware of how matt’s knee was touching your own, you could feel the heat even through your jeans. he was leaning back on his hands, with his right hand directly behind your back,in your delusions, you let yourself pretend he was doing it to be closer to you.

“alright!” morgan cheered. “who wants to start?”

no one said a word.

you made the mistake of looking around when you caught morgan’s eye. at the sight of a growing smirk on her lips, you quickly diverted your gaze.

“c'mon, no one wants to go first?” she hummed. “fine, i’ll go. babe,” she started calling thomas babe a week ago. “ask me, truth or dare?”

the only word you could use to describe the look on thomas’ face was besotted. without hesitating, he asked her the question, smiling when she grinned back at him. morgan chose dare, because she wasn’t “boring and lame.”

thomas dared her to kiss him. there was a collective groan when she leaned over and kissed her boyfriend. the second she pulled back, morgan’s eyes flitted over the rest of the group, looking like a tiger about to pounce. the two of you made eye contact and the corner of her lips raised in a smirk that was gone as quick as it came.

you prepared yourself for the worst, recalling how you let it slip that you have a crush on matt. and morgan, while she wasn’t intentionally cruel, had all but shrieked when you told her. so you didn’t think she’d out you to be mean, you wouldn’t put it past her to attempt matchmaking.

but her eyes skipped right over you and focused on simone. “truth or dare?”

“truth,” simone replied.

morgan rolled her eyes. “nerd,” but she cracked a smile anyway.

the game went on pretty effortlessly, you even got brave enough to do a dare (thankfully morgan never got the opportunity to ask you). it ended with morgan asking matthew. the smirk she had earlier, appeared as she made eye contact with you before setting her sights on your best friend.

“truth or dare?” she asked.

you immediately knew which option he was picking, matt never backed down from a challenge and had been choosing dare all night.

“matthew, i dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room.”

your stomach dropped as did your gaze. you couldn’t look anyone in the eye, you didn’t want to see matt kiss another girl, you couldn’t. you wouldn’t do it.

a moment passed when you realized matt hadn’t moved an inch. he was still leaning on his hands, with one stretched behind you. all it took was a quick glance at matt to see him already staring back at you.

“no,” he said, eyes still locked on your face.

morgan blinked. “what?”

it was only then that his eyes left your face to look morgan dead in the eye. “nope. i won’t do it.”

she guffawed. “but you have to!”

matt shrugged. “i don’t want to.”

“but you lose if you don’t!”

he shrugged yet again. “oh well.”

your head snapped up to look at him in confusion. “matt,” you nudged him.

“we gotta go anyway,” he said, before he stood up and reached out to you. you took his hand, albeit hesitantly before he dragged you up the stairs and out of the house onto the street.

a cool breeze was blowing which inadvertently caused you to shiver. matt, who still hadn’t let go of your hand, tugged you further into his side. your heart sank when he dropped your hand, only for it to skyrocket when he threw his arm around you.

“why didn’t you do the dare?” you asked. the curiosity was killing you, even if you believed the real answer would be even worse than not knowing.

matt shrugged like he had been all night. “i didn’t feel like it.”

you blinked at him, staring at his profile while he guided the two of you back to his house. “you’re literally the most competitive person i know. you’ve never intentionally lost a game. last week brady dared you to drink that gallon of milk and run a mile, which, if i must remind you, you threw up not even halfway through.”

matt laughed. “that was funny. but what’s your point?”

“my point is that kissing someone is way less work than running a mile and throwing up. so what’s up?”

he wouldn’t look at you, his gaze fell to the ground where he kicked a rock. “didn’t want it to happen like that.”

you blinked at him, refusing to move your gaze from his profile. “didn’t want what to happen like that? it’s just a kiss.”

he shook his head and stopped walking, grabbing your wrist when you kept moving. matt tugged your arm so you’d turn around and look at him. “it wouldn’t be just a kiss,” he said.

“would it mean more?” you asked, but he didn’t say anything. “matt?” your heart was beating against your chest. your hands shook at the idea of him wanting to kiss someone. you went through the list of people in that room. it wasn’t morgan, he’d told you weeks ago that he didn’t like her like that when you asked. could it be simone? she looked like a goddess on a bad day. her dark skin was flawless and free of blemishes and her faux locs were always perfectly styled. she didn’t even wear makeup on a regular basis.

oh god. did he like simone?

your gut twisted at the idea, of him falling in love with the closest friend you had at school. you could learn to be happy for them, simone was great and matt would adore her if she agreed to go out with him.

you snapped back into it when you felt matt’s thumb rub across your pulse. “matt, would it mean more?”

he shrugged again, still not looking at you, just the part where your hands were joined. “would it be a problem if it did?”

now it was your turn to be confused. “why would my opinion matter? i’m not the one you’d be kissing.”

matt blinked at you once, then twice. “you can’t be serious,” he said.

“what do you mean?”

“you can’t be that blind. there’s no way.”

“matt, what are you talking about?”

he dropped your hand to run both of his over his face and groaned. “there's no way you don’t know.”

“know what?”

matt fixed you with an intense look, one that had you squirming in your shoes a little. in all your years of friendship, you weren’t sure he'd ever stared at you that way before. a hockey game? sure, but you?

“matt what—”

“i like you,” he said as plain as day, like he didn’t just flip your world on its axis.

you blinked, you were pretty sure you stopped breathing. “what?” you whispered.

matt stepped closer to you, close enough that your shoes were touching. “i like you.”

“so why didn’t you kiss me when morgan dared you to?”

“i didn’t want it to happen like that,” he admitted. “didn’t wanna kiss you in front of everybody.”

you could feel the heat travel up your neck and to your cheeks. “and what about now? would you kiss me now?”

“would you let me?”

words failed you, you could only nod. matt hesitated for a moment before pressing his lips to yours. it was clumsy and awkward, and in the middle of the sidewalk two blocks away from his house.

but it was perfect.

after

you ubered to the restaurant before emma could suggest meeting at the tkachuk house. every single one of the bridesmaids knew you and matt were no longer together, all of them banding around you and offering support from thousands of miles away. so you didn’t think any of them would even hint at meeting at the tkachuk residence if they were as considerate as you believed them to be, but you wanted to avoid the sympathetic looks that would be thrown your way.

most of the bridesmaids were there by the time you arrived, the only exception being taryn. the entire table greeted you with bright white smiles, emma stood to give you a hug that you enthusiastically returned.

it felt great to be back in the company of people your age. despite being back in st. louis for quite some time, you still had yet to make any more friends outside of emma and taryn, both of whom you didn’t see that often because of who they were relationally attached to.

unfortunately, you’d lost contact with many of your friends from high school because of the distance. if you could go back, you’d slap yourself in the face for thinking matt was going to stick around longer than simone or morgan.

but how were you to know he would leave and wouldn’t want you to follow him?

you swallowed that question down and took a seat at the table. you sat next to a brunette named stacey, the other seat on your right was left for taryn, you assumed. there were already two bottles of wine sitting in a bucket of ice on the table. part of you considered pouring yourself a glass immediately, but you remembered the plans were dinner first, bar later. so you settled for water.

it was only a matter of maybe ten minutes before taryn was led to your table. you stood up with the rest of the girls and waited your turn to hug her. taryn saved you for last, smiling bright and wide when the two of you finally made eye contact. you squeezed each other tightly as you hugged, unspoken words being communicated.

“now, before anyone looks at the menu, i just wanted to let you know, it’s on brady tonight.” emma held up her hand as mouths began to protest across the table. “he insisted, and we won’t be taking no for an answer.”

and maybe you should’ve protested a little harder to look more sincere, but your job wasn’t paying you well enough to afford a 70 dollar steak and drinks.

the table breaks up into mini conversations while everyone was looking over the menu. you were doing the same when an elbow nudged you from the right. you glanced over at taryn who wasn’t even trying to hide the fact that she wanted your attention, it was something you’d always admired about her.

“long time, no see,” she said. but before you could respond, she spoke up again. “how have you been?”

you shrugged and moved your eyes back to the menu to look busy. “nothing has been going on really, just working.” you cleared your throat and hesitantly made eye contact again. “and you? what have you been up to?”

taryn shifted in her seat, a tell you knew was coming. you weren’t a stranger to where she’d been the past few weeks, you still followed her on instagram, you followed all of the tkachuks on instagram, even matt. so you knew she’d just gotten back after the panthers lost in game five of the finals.

you nudged her with your shoulder and gave her a small smile. “it’s okay, i’m not gonna burst into tears if you mention him.”

taryn smiled. “i’m exhausted, we were traveling everywhere for matt it felt like. it was cutting into my workouts.”

your jaw clenched at the mention of his name, mainly to distract you from feeling the ache in your chest, but you kept a pleasant look on your face anyway. “you still have the rest of the summer for your workouts, though. summer’s barely started.”

taryn nodded but she didn’t say anything for a moment. you started to shift in your seat when she reached a hand out and squeezed your own. “i miss you,” she said sincerely. “it hasn’t been the same without you around.”

“taryn...”

“you know, you’re still in, like, most of our family photos hanging on the wall. mom and dad haven’t taken them down.”

you weren’t sure if that made you happy or brought you pain.

“i begged them not to, you’re in too many memories for us to just forget you.” she cleared her throat and looked back at her menu, giving you a break from the sincere staredown the two of you were having. “they ask about you all the time, but they didn’t want to impose, mom especially. said she’d understand if you never wanted to see them again.”

you tried reading the menu through blurry eyes and pinched your lips together so no one would see them tremble. “i’ve been meaning to get coffee with your mom,” you said, though you both knew it was a lie. you’d made yourself scarce for a reason.

“she’d be happy to see you again, she just didn’t want to overstep.”

you nodded, still not looking at the girl you fully believed would be your sister one day. “i’ll text her.”

the waiter came by moments later to take your orders. thankfully, the tears had cleared up out of your eyes. as soon as you’d cleared your throat, you were telling the server your order without your voice shaking.

you bore the grief well, you thought. you laughed when everyone else did, smiled when appropriate, and asked follow up questions. socializing wasn’t hard, years of galas and charity events as matt’s plus one had trained you well for moments like these, so long as you avoided the eyes of taryn and emma, both of whom knew you better than anyone else at the table.

emma paid with brady’s card like she’d promised earlier. unfortunately for you, that’s when the anxiety started to come back. taryn was leaving after dinner, too young to go to the bars with the rest of you, and according to what emma had told you, she had plans with friends.

the group left together, with taryn waving goodbye as the rest of you headed to a bar three blocks away. your hands were shaking, so you shoved them in your pockets to hide the trembling.

it’d get better once you got a few drinks in you, you told yourself. you’d loosen up soon enough.

emma opened a tab with brady’s card and you immediately started going in. the group started with a round of shots, but you were quickly ordering more than just tequila. it was only a matter of time before your vision started lagging and your brain began buffering to keep up with what was happening.

you were on the dance floor, grinding against a stranger, who thankfully, was keeping their hands to themselves, when emma tugged your arm, giggling. “everyone else has left. and i think it’s time for us to go,” she slurred, a giant smile on her face.

you allowed yourself to be tugged away from the stranger. “how do you know?” you asked, fumbling over your words like trying to catch a bar of soap with wet hands.

emma smiled and pointed at the bar where brady was, you assumed, closing out the tab. seeing him in the flesh had your heart stuttering. the anxiety was kicking back in, hitting harder than it did when you were sober. you hadn’t seen brady since november, or was it december? the months had blurred together just like that one scene from new moon.

but now you were seeing him in the flesh, and he was getting closer as emma tugged you over to where he was. brady was just slipping his card back in his wallet when the two of you got to him. he looked up and smiled at his fianceé before he even realized you were standing there. the lovesick smile dropped but it was quickly replaced with shock before it was transformed into a smile you could’ve painted from memory.

“hey!” he said just loud enough to be heard over the noise. “i didn’t think you were coming tonight.”

if you were sober, you’d see that statement as a warning, preparation for what was to come. you would’ve noticed the way his eyes kept darting to the entrance of the bar, but you didn’t. you were just happy to see him for the first time in a while, feeling the semblance of home you’d been missing for months.

if you were sober, you would’ve remembered that brady and his brother were a package deal. you would’ve known that the nights brady wasn’t spending with emma, he was spending with your ex, and when emma had inevitably texted (or brady offered) her fiancé to pick her up, that he was more than likely already out with his brother celebrating his upcoming nuptials.

if you were sober, you would’ve noticed him walk through the door because your eyes were always drawn to him. you would’ve known it was him by the smell of his cologne, instead of waiting for him to slap his brother on the shoulder in greeting.

if you were sober, you would’ve made a break for it the second he started approaching you, emma, and brady.

but you were drunk off your ass, and all you could do was stand there like a dumbfounded idiot while matthew brendan tkachuk glanced around the room.

brady shifted on his feet a little, bracing for the moment you both knew was coming. the moment where matt saw you for the first time since november 29, when he played calgary. you’d imagine to brady, it felt like watching a car accident happen in real time. to you though, you were the accident. you were the one getting hit by a bus going full speed. you were rooted to the spot, taking in every feature of matt’s face that you’d missed over the last six months, waiting for him to see you.

if you were sober, you would’ve run away by now, knowing that being that close to him would do nothing for you.

but it was too late now.

matt finally glanced at emma, then brady, until his eyes landed on you. the smile on his lips from the song that was bumping through the speakers dropped almost immediately. he recoiled, took a small step back, almost as if he was shocked to see you there at all.

you felt like an idiot.

you weren’t sure how long the two of you stared at each other before you took a deep breath and stared at your shoes.

your hands were shaking again.

you shoved them in your pockets again.

matt’s eyes darted to your shorts at the movement, his eyes scrunched together in what looked like concern, but you brushed that thought off before you could convince yourself he still cared. but you could feel his stare on you, even as you looked around and avoided eye contact. you felt like an ant, with matt’s gaze being the magnifying glass that was burning you with a beam of sunlight.

“do you have a ride home?” brady asked. your head whipped back around to look at him and emma.

you shrugged, already feeling more sober than you were two minutes ago. “was gonna uber.”

matt scoffed. “not happening.”

out of nowhere anger bubbled out of your chest and out of your mouth. “excuse me?”

matt fixed you with a hard stare, one you didn’t shy away from. “you’re not ubering home on a friday night drunk as hell. it’s not happening.”

“i think you lost the right to make my decisions six months ago.” you refused to say his name, refused to know what it felt like to have it back on your tongue even though your heart was crying out to utter those two syllables again.

brady interjected before the disagreement could escalate. “i just wanna make sure you get home safe,” he said. “can i drive you home?”

you glanced at the man you used to know like a little brother. you saw the sincerity in his eyes, the concern.

and maybe it was the love for brady and emma that had you accepting. or maybe it was the alcohol. you nodded your head and let emma lock arms with you as you were led out by the tkachuk brothers.

you found yourself in the backseat where you used to hold hands with matt when you went on double dates with brady and emma. the two of you used to tease the younger couple when they did literally anything romantic. if brady so much as grabbed emma’s hand, the two of you were gagging in the backseat “choking on their pda” all while knowing brady and emma have caught you in more compromising positions before.

but it wasn’t like that this time around.

you slid into your usual seat in the back before emma could offer up shotgun to you. maybe if you were more selfish, you’d accept, but you weren’t going to let your friend sit away from her fiancé when you could just suck it up.

the space between you and matt felt too suffocatingly small and yet it still felt like you were on two opposite sides of the globe. you thought about taking a risk and throwing yourself out of the moving vehicle, but there was still a wedding you were both in. you needed to figure out how to tolerate being around him if you didn’t want to cause a scene later in the summer.

you just had to make it to the end of july, then you could go back and pretend like december 16th never happened, like the past nine years of your life never happened. like you never fell in love with your best friend, like you never met him and his mother in fourth grade, like your parents never moved you to st. louis. like there weren’t traces of your failed relationship in every scrapbook in your parents’ house, like he wasn’t tied to every significant moment of your childhood.

you felt like the bundle of christmas lights that you’d sworn you put back in an orderly fashion the previous year, only to pull them out and realize you had an entire project on your hands to detangle them all.

except in the end, none of the lights worked anyway.

you could hardly remember a time where your life wasn’t deeply intertwined with matthew’s. you thought it’d lead to something, to marriage, to raising kids together, to celebrating his retirement, buying a home close to his family, and growing fat and old together.

you hated the idea that you went down that road only for it to be a dead end.

brady pulled up outside your house. you were unbuckling your seat belt and throwing the door open before he’d even put the car in park. you were doing your best to get to the front porch before anything else happened, but as hard as you tried, you were still a little too drunk. you were stumbling up the driveway and to the front door, all the while trying to figure out which key was the key to your house.

a car door slammed in the distance before footsteps followed.

you knew the sound like you knew the sound of your mother’s sadness. you would’ve recognized his footfalls anywhere.

in your haste and anxiety, you dropped your keys. you squatted down and nearly tipped over at the rush to your head. matt’s hand shot out before you could grab the keys while his other hand grabbed your elbow and pulled you into a standing position. he led you to the front door and with ease, found your house key. he unlocked the door but didn’t move to open it. you could feel his stare on the side of your face, but you refused to look back.

his touch on your skin felt like it was burning, and part of you wanted to rip your arm out of his grasp, but you couldn’t.

you just—

couldn't.

matt said your name quietly, but you just shook your head, willing the tears to go away. he didn’t get to see you cry, didn’t get to know that his actions had absolutely wrecked you. he tried again, but you inhaled and jerked your arm out of his reach before you opened your front door, grabbed your keys, and shut it in his face.

you barely made it into your bathroom before you threw up.

before

you were bouncing on your toes at the airport. matt’s plane landed fifteen minutes ago, and you were anxiously waiting for him to round the corner.

matt’s first year with the ntdp made your relationship a little difficult, though, you thought it would be harder than it was. modern technology definitely made it easier on you. matt would call you just about every other night, and if he couldn’t, matt was texting you whenever he had the freetime.

the last time you saw each other was when you and the tkachuks spent your spring break in ann arbor to visit, and that had been over a month ago. thankfully, you’d managed to convince your mom to let you check out of school early to wait for him.

“someone’s excited,” taryn teased, bumping her shoulder into your side.

“honey leave her alone,” chantal chided. “we’re all excited.”

“i’m not,” brady grumbled. not even a beat later, keith was slapping the back of his head.

moments later, matt walked around the corner with his bags in hand. you fought every urge to run to him, deciding he probably wanted to greet his family first. and he did, you watched as he hugged his mom and dad first, moving the taryn, before punching brady in the shoulder.

you were nervously playing with the hem of your school issued plaid skirt as you looked on, suddenly feeling out of place. but it didn’t linger because in a blink of an eye, matt’s arms were wrapping around your waist and tugging you into his chest.

a sigh escaped your lips, one you didn’t even know was held hostage in your chest. maybe you were being dramatic (you were almost 16, after all), but it felt like the part of you that was missing was just returned.

“missed you,” he mumbled into your neck.

you couldn’t help the smile that graced your lips.

matt didn’t let go of you, even when everyone started walking towards the car where keith parked. your hand was tightly grasped in his own, forcing brady to carry the other bag matt couldn’t. to make up for it, you offered to sit in the back of keith’s escalade so brady could have more leg room. matt ended up grumbling about it, but it was clear he wasn’t going to let you sit in the back next to taryn when he hadn’t seen you in weeks.

“i ruined my perfect attendance streak for you,” you said as you traced the veins of his hands.

matt smirked. “i messed up little miss perfect’s squeaky clean record? how will you ever get into college now?”

you ripped your hand from his and shoved his shoulder, barely restraining yourself from cussing him out. “shut up,” was what you settled for because while taryn and brady had most definitely heard their fair share of curse words, you didn’t want to be the one on the receiving end of chantal’s disapproving look, even if it meant keith would be fighting for his life to hold back laughter.

all four of you, keith and chantal excluded, all but scrambled out of the car when it pulled into the garage. you and matt grabbed both of his bags before bum rushing into the house and up the stairs to his room.

“leave the door open!” chantal called from the first floor.

you didn’t need to see his face to know matt was rolling his eyes.

“i’m tempted to ignore her and just slam and lock the door,” he grumbled.

you dropped the bag you were holding and guffawed. “you wouldn’t. you love your mom.”

matt dropped his bag and immediately took the opportunity to grab you by the waist. “and i love you.”

you almost giggled, but you didn’t want to make a fool of yourself so you beamed instead. the first time he said those words was a few months ago over facetime and it still made you giddy as it did then.

matt pressed his forehead against yours. “you’re not gonna say it back?” he asked.

you blinked, still smiling. “what?”

“you're not gonna say you love me back?”

you shrugged, knowing it would get under his skin. you knew the consequences. “hm,” you hummed. “do i need to?”

matt rolled his eyes so hard you thought they might’ve gotten stuck in the back of his head. “quit being smart.”

and maybe you should’ve given up, maybe you should’ve let it go and say those three little words you’d said countless times before. but teasing him was way too much fun to pass up when you hadn’t seen him in months. so you pursed your lips and hummed again. “i seem to recall you saying you liked how smart i am. something about being the beauty and the brains?”

and out of nowhere, taryn popped her head in. “well matt for sure wasn’t going to be the beauty, and he’s never been the brains,” she smirked.

matt let go of you and marched over to the door, all but slamming it in her face.

“matthew brendan tkachuk! that door better be open!” chantal’s voice carried up the stairs had you lunging across the room and whipping open the door in a hurry.

“sorry mrs. tkachuk!” you called out before turning around and glaring at your boyfriend. “you’re a menace.”

matthew smirked and pulled you close enough that you were chest to chest. “but you love me.”

“i love you so much.”

after

the hangover you had the next morning was probably the worst you ever remember having. well, until you remembered the night matt broke up with you, that was the worst one.

you turned over in bed, picked up your phone, and saw multiple texts from emma and brady alike, both ranging from “it was great to see you” to “i’m so sorry about last night.” you groaned and dropped your phone back on the nightstand.

last night, when you thought about it, hurt more than it should’ve. you saw him for the first time in the flesh and it looked like he was fine, like he didn’t completely upend your life six months ago when he ended things. part of you wondered if he could see through you, through the illusion of your happiness and to the core where you were just as fractured as you were december 17th.

the rest of the weekend continued with you doing little to nothing but eating and binging trashy reality tv shows. when your alarm went off on monday morning, you contemplated calling off, but got dressed instead.

“you look like hell,” was the first thing frankie, your mentor and boss, said to you. because of the nature of your relationship, you felt comfortable flipping him off, even as he passed you a cup of coffee. “rough night?” he asked after watching you take a hefty sip of the hot beverage.

“rough weekend,” you grumbled.

frankie gave you a small smile and patted you on the back as the two of you walked to the workspace. “wanna talk about it?”

you recognized performative kindness when you saw it. while you firmly believed frankie cared about you and your wellbeing, you also knew he didn’t want to hear the sob story of how you ran into your ex drunk at a bar, at least, not at 8am. so you shook your head.

“i looked at some of your work on the bradshaw family’s piece so far, and i was impressed. i do have some notes, but for the most part, you’ve been doing a great job.”

you did your best to smile gratefully, but you weren’t sure it translated. “i really appreciate your guidance on this, and the trust you have to let me work on some of these projects.”

“you’re very talented,” he said. “you ever thought about creating something for yourself or someone else?”

there wasn’t a word to describe the noise that came out of your mouth. was it a nervous laugh? a squeak maybe? you didn’t know, and neither did frankie.

“what?” he asked. “why is that so scary?”

you shrugged as the two of you made it to the workspace. normally, you would start by pulling out the supplies you needed to begin working on the bradshaw piece, but if frankie met you at the door, it was because he wanted to have an impromptu meeting first.

“i feel like i’m good at fixing things,” you said. “maybe not creating something from thin air.”

“you have so much talent,” frankie replied. “i hate to see it wasted on fixing and preserving someone else’s work when you could be doing both. it could be your art that people hang in their houses and pay thousands of dollars to preserve.”

you nodded, but kept your eyes on the table, studying the wood grain and tracing the pattern with your finger.

“i don’t think i’m capable of that anymore.”

frankie reached over and squeezed your shoulder. “just think on it, okay? couldn’t hurt to just think on it.” he walked out a moment later, giving you space and time to queue up music and get started on the day.

you opened spotify and pressed the play button on your liked songs without even thinking about it. not even two seconds later, you regretted your decision. the soft tones and beats of frank ocean’s thinkin bout you echoed through the room and slammed against your chest. you immediately switched the song and found a classical playlist to listen to instead.

but the tune wouldn’t get out of your head.

not two minutes later.

not thirty minutes later.

not after your full eight hour shift spent hunched over your workstation.

not even on the drive home.

frank ocean’s voice permeated every fiber of your being.

it was simone who first showed you the song in high school. you remembered liking the melody enough, but you didn’t get the lyrics. and why would you? you were in love with your best friend who loved you back. even though you were fourteen and too young to even think about marriage, you knew matthew was going to be the person you ended up with. it was him or no one.

and now it was no one.

now, you listened to the song play over and over in your head, the lyrics resonating with you deeper than ever before.

you pulled into your driveway, completely unaware of what cars were parked in the street. they’d never mattered to you before. why would they now?

you sat in your car for a few minutes, taking a deep breath while you worked up the courage to go inside. when you finally got a grip on your emotions, you opened your door and grabbed your bag. you were too busy fumbling with your keys to notice anything amiss until you were on your porch and a pair of shoes came into sight.

“hey.”

it took everything in you not to scream. you dropped your keys and nearly dropped your bag. matthew stood on your front porch with his hands in the pockets in his shorts like he was innocent of any pain or suffering he’d caused you. he was in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, and you hated yourself a little bit for thinking he’s attractive like that.

“what’re you doing here?” you hated how hoarse your voice sounded, like a low quality audio recording where things sounded muffled and broken.

“your dad wouldn’t let me in.”

“good.”

matt sighed and ran a hand down his face. “can we not do this?”

“not do what?” you asked. “not act like you ended things for no damn reason?”

“if you—”

“we dated for nearly ten years and you decided to end it over a five minute phone call. and you still think you’re entitled to my time?” and maybe you should’ve been kinder, maybe you should’ve been more civil. but you hadn’t seen or heard from him in months (until a few nights ago) and he just turned up out of the blue? expecting you to do what? forgive him? move on?

matthew said your name delicately, but not in the way he used to, like saying your name was a luxury he was honored to have. no, he said it like you were going to break, like you were fragile, like he wasn’t the sole cause of your pain. “please—”

the anger was draining out of you quicker. you were exhausted between work, and frank ocean’s stupid song, and the other night.

“what do you want?” your voice cracked on the last word. “wanna ruin my life a little bit more? put the final nail in the coffin?”

“no,” he shook his head fervently. matthew took a step towards you and looked something close to devastated when you stepped back. but it didn’t make sense, he ended it, he had no right to look or feel that way. “i just wanna talk.”

“six months,” you said, doing your best to keep your voice clear. “you had six months to say something. what could you possibly have to say now that you couldn’t then?”

“i know we didn’t end on the best of terms—” he started, but it was cut off by your scoff. you turned your head away and used your palm to wipe at your eyes before you crossed your arms over your chest. “—but i don’t think we should let this ruin brady and emma’s summer. we’re gonna see a lot of each other and i don’t want things to be tense around them.”

you took a minute to really look at him. blonde frizzy curls, blue eyes that wouldn’t leave your face. he hadn’t changed one bit.

one summer, you’d attempted to count the number of freckles on his shoulders. you got up to 87 before you gave up.

and yet you felt like you were standing in front of a stranger.

there were so many things you wanted to say, so many things you’d dreamt of screaming at him, but now that he was here, in front of you, asking something of you, you felt drained, tired. you used to crave his presence, now it felt like a leech.

you loved him, but he was sucking the life out of you.

so you nodded. you nodded and said “okay,” before you walked inside your front door and left your heart on the porch.

you pressed your back against the door and slid to the ground, pulling your knees to your chest. there was no telling when you started crying, or when your dad joined you on the floor, hugging you as close to his chest as he could.

“why wasn’t i enough?” you sobbed into your knees.

your dad petted your hair before he pressed a kiss there. “you’re more than enough, honey. but you can’t make anyone love you if they’re not willing to.”

“he used to!” you wailed. “he used to love me!” then, in a smaller voice, “what changed?”

a beat of silence, then your father’s somber, quiet voice. “maybe he did.”

before

“so what are your plans for after high school?” ms. meyer, your high school guidance counselor sat across from you at her desk. her stare was kind, but unwavering.

you’d already applied to notre dame, knowing that’s where matt committed. so when you answered, it was confident. it had been your plan since matt said yes to the school. “i’m going to notre dame and majoring in art history.”

“do you have any back up schools?”

you nodded. “ucla and the art institute of chicago.”

ms. meyer pursed her lips. “you know all of those places are highly competitive, right?”

“my transcripts and resume are impressive and I did really well on the SAT and ACT. i think i’ll be able to get in.” and you were, you were pretty confident as they come when it came to academics. any school would’ve been lucky to have you, that much you believed.

ms. meyer nodded. “i understand ucla and the art institute, both of those schools have incredible arts programs, but why notre dame? it doesn’t seem to fit with your aspirations.”

“oh,” you laughed under your breath. “that’s where my boyfriend is going.”

your guidance counselor blinked. “you’re incredibly smart and gifted, i’d hate to see that talent wasted when you could be developing it elsewhere. what do you want?”

“i want to be with matthew.”

ms. meyer sighed and gave you a sympathetic smile, you weren’t sure why though. you’d never been more sure of anything. “honey, can i be honest with you?” she didn’t wait for your response. “you have so much talent, so much to offer, i’ve seen many girls come in here, putting off aspirations for their significant others only for that relationship not to last.”

“i know we’re young,” you started, already feeling the heat rise up in your chest. she didn’t know anything about you personally, she didn’t know about you and matt. “but we’re gonna make it, i swear.”

ms. meyer nodded. “of course you are.” she cleared her throat and adjusted the papers in front of her. “so, notre dame...”

after

you weren't exactly sure what compelled you to do it, but at dinner a few nights ago, your mom had asked about what happened to simone, your friend from middle and high school. so you reached out, though it made you feel like you were contacting someone to join your mlm.

it legitimately surprised you when simone replied to your facebook message. the two of you made plans to get coffee on saturday.

and now it was saturday.

you weren’t getting coffee until 9:30, but you were awake and staring at your ceiling at 7. you’d done the due diligence of stalking simone’s profile, so you knew she was married with two kids who looked just like her. she worked as a data analyst for kroger and her husband was a public defender. she met her husband in college and they got married shortly after they graduated from grad and law school respectively.

if you were a better woman, you’d admit you were jealous. jealous that she got what she wanted in the end. but when you put that aside, you still felt overwhelming happiness at her station in life, regardless of how yours turned out.

you kept scrolling through her social media until it was eventually time for you to get up. you stayed to facebook, not even wanting to bother with going on instagram and accidentally stumbling across one of the tkachuks’ posts.

it was 9:10 when you finally finished getting dressed and ready. you came down the stairs and threw a goodbye over your shoulder before grabbing your crossbody bag and your keys and running out the door.

despite your sprinting and nearly running red lights, you were still five minutes late. you came into the coffee shop, gasping for air after sprinting down the sidewalk from your parking spot.

the second you entered the business, simone’s hand lifted and she smiled brightly, calling you over almost immediately. she stood to greet you, and like no time had passed, pulled you in for a hug.

“it’s so good to see you,” she said. “wasn’t sure if you still liked an iced chai latte, but i got one for you.”

“oh my god, yes,” you gasped before taking a seat and taking a sip of the beverage.

she kept smiling, which made you feel lighthearted for once. most people kept looking at you with pitying eyes, but simone saw you for more than the grief of the last six months. she had to know about it, she just had to, but you thanked her for not bringing it up in the first minute of your conversation.

“how’s work going?”

you shrugged. “it’s mostly tedious, but it’s been fine. what about you? working for kroger? that’s a huge deal.”

simone shook her head. “it’s just a means to an end, a way i can pay for my family’s lifestyle.”

“but are you passionate about what you do?”

she shrugged lightly. “it’s a job, it’s not my life. not everyone is going to work a job that fulfills them. my husband? he loves being a public defender, and he’s good at it. me though, as fun as analyzing data all day sounds and as helpful as it is, getting to have a job that doesn’t come home with me is probably my favorite part of it.”

you nodded along like you understood. and maybe you didn’t do a good enough job at being convincing because simone sighed.

“i wanted to wait to ask this, but i can’t hold it in any longer. how’re you holding up?”

it took you several seconds to answer her question. your mouth open and closed multiple times. “i— i don't know.” you sank back into your seat and picked at your cuticles. “it’s been a shitty few months,” you admitted. “you’d think i’d be over it by now.

simone shook her head and leaned in, arms braced on the table. “you two were together for a decade, what’s a few months in comparison to that?”

you shrugged. “i saw him the other night, when i went out drinking with the other bridesmaids. it was like, i don't know, i got dunked in an ice bath or something. he looked completely unaffected and i couldn’t breathe.”

simone whispered your name.

“but i’m fine!” you asserted. “i’m trying to be.”

simone nodded. “so what do you do now?”

you could’ve kissed her feet for the change in topic. “i’m working in the art restoration and conservation field.”

simone blinked. “you’re restoring art? do you like it?”

you shrugged. “most days, it can get repetitive, but that’s what i like.”

your friend sighed and fixed you with a soft, sympathetic look. “but is that what you want to do for the rest of your life? restoring someone else’s art? doing something repetitive? you are so talented, i hate to see you wasting that talent restoring someone else’s work.”

“it’s not a waste! it’s incredibly difficult and some things deserve to be preserved.”

“but some new things deserve to be created.” simone leaned in closer, her forearms braced on the table. “i think it would do you some good to start creating something again, even if it’s shitty. and you think you aren’t ready, just try something new. a new bar, a new hobby, a new man, something new.”

your stomach twisted at the thought of going on a date with someone other than matt, but simone was right. it had been six months and he seemed to be doing fine, it was your turn to start moving on, to find yourself again.

so you nodded. “we should do this more often,” you said. “i’ve missed you.”

simone smiled. “i’ve missed you too, i’m glad you’re home.”

you talked for another hour about everything the two of you had missed over the years of you being elsewhere before she had to leave and relieve the nanny at home. simone hugged you goodbye and texted you her new number before she left the coffee shop.

the drive home was quiet because you were pondering the things she’d said. you weren’t sure you were ready for making your own art, you sure as hell weren’t ready to go on a date. but maybe you should try.

maybe you were ready to put yourself first for once.

before

the biggest argument you’d had with matt was after you found out he wasn’t playing at notre dame at all, he was going to play for calgary.

you felt so stupid for committing to that school when you should’ve known your boyfriend was talented enough to skip it altogether. maybe you should’ve taken a gap year, then you wouldn’t have to be doing even more long distance in two different countries.

the two of you never argued, or maybe never was too strong of a word. you hardly ever had a disagreement if you thought about it long enough. most of the time, you suppressed the disappointment and the anger, shoving it to the side because you were surely being dramatic.

but now you were standing off to the side, waiting for your name to be called to cross the stage at your high school graduation, and you wished you’d said something to convince matthew to delay settling into his new calgary apartment with one of his teammates.

but you swallowed your disappointment and pride and just dealt with the fact that he wouldn’t be there.

it was fine.

just high school.

you were snapped out of your reverie when your name was called. you smiled and walked across the stage. when you dreamt of this exact moment, you always thought you’d walk with grace, that all noise would cease to exist as you honed in on the sheet of paper you’d spent the last 13 years working towards.

but it wasn’t like that.

because you heard one specific voice above all the others. as your principal handed you the diploma, your eyes searched the crowd and saw him.

matthew standing up and yelling with his family next to him. he had a sign, the words you couldn’t read because there were tears forming in your water line. he was pointing at you and kept yelling and clapping, hooting and hollering like it was his full time job. your parents were smiling, though they were seated, and your grandparents were stone faced clapping like they were at the masters tournament.

so you kept your eyes on him, even as you walked back to your seat. you might have stumbled, tripped even, but all you could see, all you could feel was him.

you were back in your seat by the time the person calling out the names spoke again.

“please hold your applause until the end.”

you could hear his scoff, even from your seat.

your leg bounced for the rest of the graduation ceremony. you didn’t even register the turning of your tassel. you just couldn’t wait for it to be over so you could be in matt’s arms.

as soon as the ceremony concluded, matt was shoving his way past families, nearly taking out an elderly gentleman in his quest to get to you. on the other hand, you were being pushed to move farther away from him as the procession of students filed out of the gym. you kept looking over your shoulder to find him, but it looked like brady had caught up to him, wrangling his older brother to follow the crowds outside.

“outside!” brady pointed.

you nodded.

as soon as you got through the gym doors, you were booking it outside into the sunlight. it blinded you momentarily, but you whipped your phone out seconds later to see if matt had texted you where he’d be. you pulled up his contact and were seconds away from calling him when arms wrapped around your waist and lifted you up into the air.

a squeal left your lips until he set you down a moment later. you spun around in his arms and before you could say anything, matthew was kissing you like no one else was around.

when the two of you finally needed air, you pulled away. “i thought you were in calgary!”

matthew scoffed though there was a large smile on his lips. “you thought i’d miss my favorite girl’s graduation? calgary can wait, your high school graduation only happens once.”

“i’m glad you’re here,” you whispered.

“me too, baby.”

unfortunately, matt pulled away so you could hug your parents and even your grandparents who were standing off to the side. taryn and brady pulled you into a group hug afterwards, with taryn going on a tangent about all the fun things the two of you would have to do before you left for school.

but brady was taking your graduation cap off your head to ruffle your hair as matt grabbed your purse and took your car keys out. keith and chantal were offering to pay for a celebratory lunch while your grandparents gave an irish goodbye. your parents were smiling, you were tucked into matt’s side, and brady and taryn were bickering and—

everything was perfect.

you wanted to freeze that moment, that sensation in your chest, take the saccharine feeling and bottle it up and store it on your bookshelf.

and if you could’ve, you would’ve savored the sensation of matt’s lips pressed to your temple while both of your dads discussed the best route to get to the restaurant.

but you had no idea how the future would turn out.

you thought matt was forever.

after

you were on a double date, or at least, hyping yourself up to go into the bar and meet up with simone, her husband, and a friend of theirs. you didn’t want to be a bitch, but you also didn’t want to send yourself into a panic attack. simone had suggested just entertaining something with someone, didn’t even have to be serious, it could just be sex.

you could do that, right?

just casual sex?

the thought was nauseating. you’d only slept with matthew, no one knew your body like he did and—

you stopped yourself before you could go down that rabbit hole.

your hands shook as you stepped out of your car and locked it. maybe you should’ve gotten an uber, but then again, you weren’t really planning on drinking like that. you were hoping you’d still be sober enough to go home.

the music in the bar shockingly wasn’t as loud as you expected. it wasn’t the bass bumping, ass grinding bar like the ones matt used to take you to after games. even still, your palms started sweating as you looked around. you spotted simone’s natural hair across the room and made your way towards her.

her husband, stephen, stood to greet you first, followed by simone, then lastly your date. a guy named andrew who was a partner at his firm, the youngest on his team.

his handshake was firm, but there were no calluses on his palm. his hair was slicked back with what you guessed was a pomade.

he was so unlike matthew it was alarming.

but maybe it was for the best.

you smiled and took your seat next to simone, you sipped on the water in front of you.

“we didn’t want to order drinks without you just yet.”

“thank you,” you mumbled just loud enough for everyone to hear.

“it’s nice to finally meet you,” andrew started. “simone spoke highly of you. she said you’ve been friends since middle school.”

you felt bad because simone didn’t really say much to you about him. if you were a gambler, you’d assume it was because she didn’t want you to back out. you barely even knew him and you were already comparing him to matt.

which wasn’t fair, you knew that. andrew deserved to be a human without the baggage of your last and only relationship determining how you viewed him.

you would try, at the very least for simone. at the very most, you’d try for yourself.

“nice to meet you too. i heard you’re a partner at your law firm? how is that going?”

oh god. you were so bad at this. asking about work on a friday night?

but he smiled. his teeth were perfectly straight and white. you'd bet your last dollar that he'd never needed braces, not like you did.

you hated yourself for thinking of the gap between matthew’s teeth.

“it’s going well,” he said. “lot of work, but i managed to get enough done this week that my friday was free. i wanted to meet the ‘best artist on planet earth,’ according to simone.”

“oh i don’t know about that,” you flushed.

simone scoffed. “don’t downplay yourself.” she turned to look at andrew. “you should see the art she created in high school as a teenager. it was so impressive.”

“what medium do you like working with the most?” he asked.

“mostly acrylic.”

andrew’s eyes lit up. “do you have any photos of your art? i’d love to see your work.”

you shook your head, feeling a little embarrassed at all the attention. “i don’t really paint like that anymore. i work in art conservation now, not a whole lot of time to create something new.”

“that’s such a unique career! what does your average day look like?” andrew leaned forward a little and took a sip of his water.

you told him a little bit about what you did. about how you spent hours hunched over a painting and fixing the smallest problems in hopes it would satisfy the client.

“you must’ve gone to some prestigious art school for that. if you don’t mind me asking, where did you go to college?”

your spine stiffened. “university of calgary.”

and just like you anticipated, his face twisted in confusion. there was no logical reason you should’ve gone out of the country for a regular school. it would be one thing if you went to an art institute, but you didn’t.

“why calgary?” he asked. “seems a bit random, if you don’t mind me asking.”

you shifted in your seat and wouldn’t meet anyone’s eyes. it wasn’t until you cleared your throat in a sorry attempt to get the lump out, that you spoke. “it’s a long story,” you said. “thought i had a future in calgary.”

andrew, to his credit, knew when to not ask questions and changed the subject immediately.

the rest of the night passed in a blur. you were only halfway present, your mind reeling at how you wasted those years in calgary waiting for a man who would dump you as soon as he moved to a warmer state.

he, quite literally, left you in the cold.

andrew offered to walk you to your car, an offer you accepted because it was dark and st. louis.

“i had a great time tonight,” he said. “it was really nice to meet you. you’re even better than simone and stephen said.”

you gave him a small smile. “it was nice to meet you too.”

andrew shifted on his feet. for a moment, he didn’t look the part of the youngest partner at his law firm, he looked like a boy. “i was hoping maybe you’d want to do this again? maybe get some dinner?”

your throat felt like someone had force fed you cotton balls. but then you thought about how pathetic your life had been the last six months, how pathetic it was going to be when you flew to new jersey to be in the same bridal party as your ex.

you refused to be pathetic any longer.

which is probably why you smiled (albeit shakily) and said yes.

before

you were bouncing on your toes in the hallway as you waited for matt. it was a brutal game, and he spent a good portion of it in the penalty box, mostly for minor things, but one incident was for fighting. which wasn’t atypical, but you’d never seen him that keyed up before.

and given his reputation, there were any number of things that could’ve caused the fight itself. two weeks ago, matt had fought someone for being too forceful with one of his teammates, which after years of watching the game, was on par with the sport and your boyfriend.

because he fought so much, you weren’t necessarily surprised whenever he did. sure, you flinched when he was punched, knowing how badly it would bruise, praying to whatever higher power existed that he would still have all his teeth. but usually, matt wasn’t trying to fight everyone on the ice at all times.

tonight was different.

safe to say, you were a little anxious waiting for him to come out.

you weren’t exactly sure about what was said on the ice to get him so riled up. the worst you’d seen was when someone on the other team said something about taryn. you used to think that was the angriest you ever saw him. and it was.

until tonight.

you could feel the energy rolling off of him in waves as he exited the locker room. usually, after a win, matt is relaxed and easy going, but despite the victory from tonight, he was tense and pent up, frustrated even.

“hey,” you said, meeting him halfway.

matthew didn’t respond, just dropped his bag and wrapped you up in a hug, tucking his head into the space where your neck met your shoulder.

“you okay?” you asked.

he nodded. he squeezed your waist once before letting go, taking your hand instead. “ready to go?”

the car ride was silent minus the music matthew had playing through the aux. his hand rested on your thigh, though the grip was particularly tighter than normal, especially after a win. part of you wanted to ask, the other part not wanting to spoil the rest of the night with your curiosity.

but this was the man you loved. and it hurt you to see him this upset.

normally, you would’ve left well enough alone, but you were going back to notre dame in two days and didn’t want to spend the rest of your time walking on eggshells around him. you couldn’t help him if you didn’t know what was wrong.

“what happened?” you asked when the car came to a stop at a light.

“nothing,” he grunted.

“your team won and you’re still grumpy, matthew. so tell me, what happened? i want to help you.”

“there’s nothing to help.”

“matthew,” you groaned. “i’m only here for two days, can you just be honest with me? i don’t wanna waste the rest of my trip with you being upset when i can help you—”

“then go back to indiana!” he all but yelled, ripping his hand off your thigh so he could shove it through his disheveled hair.

your jaw dropped. in all the years you’d known matt, he'd never talked to you that way. and you weren’t starting a bad habit by letting him think he could ever do it again. you unbuckled your seat belt and grabbed your bag. you tugged on the handle of the door. “i’ll see you at home,” you said.

matt scoffed. “don’t be dramatic.”

“i’m not being ‘dramatic,’ matthew. you’re being an asshole.” you braced yourself for the cold as the door opened and let in a cold breeze.

matthew called your name, but you ignored him and slammed the car door shut. it was a little petty, considering how matt had berated his siblings over the same thing.

a car honked, probably because the light had turned green and matt was still sitting at the light, looking at you.

a cold wind blew and for a moment, you thought about hopping back in the car with matt, but he was pulling away and your pride wasn’t ready to take a hit just yet.

his car sped away until, with an efficiency you only wish you had, he parallel parked in a spot just up the road.

“get in the car,” he called, slamming his car door shut. “it’s too cold for you to be proving a point.”

“and what point am i trying to prove, matthew?” you asked over your shoulder.

you kept walking.

“would you please stop walking and just get back in the car?”

you kept walking.

a hand reached out and grabbed your wrist, you might’ve shrieked had it not been gentle, had you not recognized the scent of matt’s cologne.

gently, he turned you around.

“baby, just get in the car. you don’t even have to talk to me. don't even have to look at me if you don’t want to. i’ll sleep on the couch or something, but it’s not safe for you to be walking home alone.” he ran his thumb back and forth over your pulse point in a soothing manner.

you kept your eyes on his hand. “what happened during the game?

he sighed, shoulders sagging like they were tired from carrying the weight of the world. “they were talking shit.”

you blinked. “and that’s different....how?”

with the hand that wasn’t holding your wrist, matthew pinched the bridge of his nose. “they were talking shit about you. saying you deserved better and shit.”

“matthew, you know that’s not true—”

“they called you names.” his voice was dark, angrier than you'd ever heard before. “things i’m not comfortable repeating.”

a shiver went down your spine, for matt to be that upset made you uncomfortable. you didn’t want to think about what they said, you didn’t want to dwell on it any longer.

“well,” you said, voice feeling small and weak in your throat. “well, we know it’s not true, so it doesn’t matter.” you tried to make your way back to the car, but matt’s grip on your wrist stopped you.

“but it does matter,” he insisted. “what they said, i get it wasn't true, you and i both know that. but i’m not gonna let anyone talk shit about you, i don’t care who they are.”

your eyes finally met his own and in the blue you saw determination and conviction there. you started towards him and wrapped your arms around his waist.

“i love you, matty.”

he kissed the top of your head. “love you more.”

after

“where are you going?” your mom asked from the couch.

your dad looked up from his james patterson book to squint at your outfit: a square neck black dress. “are you going out?” he chimed in.

you felt sheepish, like the fifteen year old girl going on her first solo date, no parents picking her up because matt just got his license. “remember that guy i went on a double date with?”

“with simone and her husband?” you mom asked.

you nodded. “we’re going out again, just us tonight.”

your mother gave you a small smile while you dad kept staring. “have fun, sweetheart.”

your dad, however, put his book down and looked at you above the rim of his glasses. “are you gonna be okay?”

“alan, this will be good for her!”

but your dad’s eyes never left your face. “you’ll call if you need something?”

“andrew’s a good guy, dad.” or at least, you were assuming so. you’d only met the guy one other time and he seemed alright.

but you could see the look in your father’s eyes, you could hear what he wasn’t saying.

so was matthew.

you swallowed and nodded at your parents. your phone pinged with a notification that your uber was outside. “i’ll be back.”

the drive to the bar was silent. usually, you wouldn’t have taken an uber, but you were unsure how drunk you would get tonight. the date could go well, it could be everything you wanted, even if all you wanted was matthew.

but you were prepared for the worst. you were prepared to drink until you couldn’t see straight just to get through the night.

andrew was a nice guy, but he wasn’t who you wanted.

and you hated yourself for it.

the uber pulled up to the bar. and simply because he didn’t kidnap or talk to you, you gave the driver five stars.

andrew was waiting at a high top table for you, a glass of water ready to go. you waved at him and carefully made your way across the room, avoiding people and drinks and people with drinks.

“hey,” he greeted.

you gave him a small smile. “hi.”

“was traffic bad on your way here? i wasn’t sure, given that it’s friday and what not.”

you shook your head. “not too bad.”

c’mon, think of something. say something. anything.

“crazy busy tonight, huh?” you wanted to facepalm. that was what you came up with? all the words in the world and that was what you—

“yeah,” andrew cut off your mental tirade. “i think some famous guys are here tonight, heard murmurs of it.”

you nearly broke out into a cold sweat. “d-do you know who?”

andrew shrugged. “i didn’t ask, i just heard someone talking about it when i was getting a drink.” then, like he finally realized, he snapped. “do you want anything? i can grab it for you.”

you gave him your drink order with a smile. he tapped the table with his knuckles before promising he'd be right back.

you traced the grain of the table with your finger, allowing it to feel the grooves and water stains left from other customers. it felt awkward, sitting by yourself with no one to talk to. andrew said he'd be back, but the bar was busy, it could be ten, fifteen minutes before he'd come back.

your phone buzzed.

simone:

how’s it going?

you smiled despite yourself.

you:

he’s nice. he went to get me a drink.

you put your phone down to look around the bar. it was busier than normal, or at least, what you thought was normal.

you were scrolling through your social media feeds when andrew finally came back. he had your drink in hand with a smile on his face.

“sorry, the line took forever,” he said.

you glanced at the bar to see a small crowd of people. “doesn’t surprise me,” you said. “friday’s are usually busy.”

“yeah especially when there’s two hockey players in town. heard someone at the bar talking about it, thought you might wanna know. simone said you were a fan?”

your stomach dropped to your feet. you took a hefty sip of your drink to avoid andrew seeing a frown on your face. there was a chance that it was a blues player still in town, but your gut knew better. if you were a betting woman, you'd bet your last dollar on it being brady and matt.

you wanted to throw up.

instead, you chugged the drink.

“whoa, you okay?” andrew’s eyes widened a little, maybe in concern, but there was something about the smirk on his face that said otherwise.

you gave him a shaky smile. “just fine. can i get another drink?”

he smiled immediately and got up to get you another.

and another.

your vision was blurring a little when you tried to cut yourself off, even as andrew was sliding another glass in front of you. you threw the drink back again, not even blinking at it.

matt and brady could be here. it was too soon to see them again, you weren't prepared to see them again. maybe if you drank enough, you’d black out and forget all about tonight.

but then andrew was grabbing your elbow, he was leading you towards the door, encroaching upon your personal space. his lips were on your neck, whispers of what he had planned for you.

your skin crawled, you wanted him off of you, but your arms were sluggish, you were tripping over your feet and he was the only thing holding you up.

“no,” you slurred. “lemme go.”

but he either didn’t hear you or was ignoring you because he kept dragging you to the door.

then the panic set in.

it felt like it came out of nowhere, but maybe the surmounting panic was always there like a loyal friend. you tried squirming out of his grip, shoving at his chest, but the panic was building the longer he held onto you. your head was shaking furiously, your mouth doing its best to protest, but it was like the alcohol made your tongue heavy.

“lemme go—” you tried shoving one more time before you heard a shout in the distance.

“hey!” you weren’t aware of the people around you being shoved to the side, you were unaware of the rage surrounding you. you were unaware until andrew was ripped away and you were being shoved into another body.

“matt hey—”

brady. you were right, brady was here.

god you loved brady.

“brady?” you slurred, smiling lazily up at him. “you’re here! why’re you here?”

with one arm, brady kept you pressed to him, but he wasn’t acknowledging you. his eyes were focused on his brother holding the collar of your date.

oh. your date.

there was no rhyme or reason for the feeling of horror that washed over you when you realized what almost happened before matt and brady showed up.

you were gonna throw up.

or pass out.

you weren’t sure when you started hyperventilating, but it felt like the walls were closing in. was the music always this loud? was matt always that loud when yelling? you wouldn’t know, he hardly ever yelled at you—

“hey,” brady’s gentle voice sounded it your ear, but it was like you were hearing it from underwater. “hey, breathe, it’s okay. you’re safe now.”

the funny thing about hyperventilating is no one wants to be hyperventilating. it’s similar to worrying in that telling someone to stop worrying is ineffective. brady telling you to breathe wasn’t helping because it wasn’t like you wanted to be light headed and struggling to get oxygen.

your mind was just racing with the thoughts of what almost happened.

were your hands shaking? or was the world just rocky? was it the alcohol? why did andrew give you so much? was he planning on—

oh god.

“matt!” brady’s voice again sounding like a deep echo in a cave, one you could barely hear. “matt, i think he got the point, she needs you.”

did you?

but it didn’t matter what you thought, because you were being gently pulled into a pair of arms you would’ve recognized anywhere. you could be deaf, blind, and mute, you could’ve had your nose plugged so you couldn’t smell his aftershave and you still would’ve known it was matt. his arms were the only ones that felt like home.

maybe it was the way your head tucked under his chin perfectly, or the way you could hold your own hand when you wrapped your arms around his waist. maybe it was the way matt tried to fit you into his ribcage whenever he hugged you.

“hey,” his voice was quiet, hoarse from the yelling probably. “you’re okay, i’ve got you. nothing’s gonna hurt you, not while i’m here.” his lips were on the top of your head, mumbling the words into your hair.

“he—he was gonna—”

matt was shushing you, running a hand up and down your back. “do you wanna go outside? get some fresh air?” you nodded against his chest, a place you used to lay your head on at night.

matt walked you outside, brady not far behind. he was supporting most of your weight. you were still incredibly drunk even if the event that just happened sobered you up a little.

your hands were still shaking, your knees a little weak, though you weren’t sure what the original cause of that was. if it was from alcohol, the sleazy date, or just being held by your ex, you weren’t sure.

what a year tonight has been.

your heartbeat slowed down as you listened to matt’s. his hand continued to rub your back in long lines.

“you’re okay,” he continued to say. “i’m not gonna leave you. you’re safe right here, baby.”

your heart soared at the pet name until gravity kicked in and you were right back where you started.

rock bottom.

you pushed away from matt, now that your heart rate had decreased. you stumbled a bit from the lack of stability, but you managed to right yourself before matt could get his hands on you to help you balance.

“you okay?” he asked.

“no,” you mumbled, shaking your head despite the world feeling like it was spinning too fast already. “no. i’m not okay.”

matt took a step towards you, it was like watching a film in slow motion, seeing his face fall as you immediately took a step back.

“baby i—”

“stop! stop calling me that!” you yelled even as your words slurred, throwing your hands up in the air before pulling at your hair. “you—you don’t get to call me that, not anymore. and you certainly don’t get to ride in like some white knight coming to my rescue either!”

“what’re you—” he cut himself off before running a hand down his face. “he was going to hurt you, i wasn’t going to let that happen!”

maybe it was the alcohol that made you more honest than normal. “why? you don’t seem to care what happens anyway?”

“what the hell are you talking about? i would never let someone hurt you, not if i can stop it.”

“but you had no problem hurting me? leaving me in a country alone?”

matt’s jaw dropped. “you can’t seriously be comparing the two. he—he almost—he had every intention of—” but he kept cutting himself off. and by the looks of his clenched fists, it was hurting him more just thinking about it.

and he was right, what almost happened with andrew and what actually happened at the hands of matt were two different things, but it hurt more from matt, the man who swore he’d be at your side, to love you through it all. he’d dropped you like a bad habit and was expecting everything to be normal again? like you hadn’t spent over half your life completely in love with him?

you sighed, your shoulders sagged, all fight evaporating your body once more. “thanks for help, i’ll see you around.” you turned on your heel and nearly ran into brady, whom you forgot was even there.

“let me drive you home,” brady said. “‘s the least i could do.”

brady at least let you sit shotgun this time, with matt in the back. and when he pulled up to your house, matt was the one to walk you to the door like he had many times before.

“can we talk?” he asked. “sometime this week? or next? or whenever you're free?”

you looked at him, really looked at him. his hands shook at his sides and you longed to hold them in your own to steady them like he did for you earlier. “why’re you doing this to me? why can’t you just leave me be?”

matt stared at you before he pressed his lips together. he looked off to the side almost like he was looking at brady waiting in the car or a scrap of self control, or maybe just the right words to say. “i don’t think i’m capable of letting you go.”

your voice caught on the words in your throat. “i need you to try, matt. because i can’t keep doing this. you can’t call me baby when i’m not your baby anymore.”

he nodded. “just one conversation, i promise.”

you should say no. you should just let it go, but you didn’t think you could deny matt anything if he really asked for it. “okay,” you said. “just one conversation.”

#matthew tkachuk imagine #matthew tkachuk x reader #matthew tkachuk #nhl imagine #nhl imagines #nhl blurb

280 notes · View notes

khuzena · 2 months

Text

Not just a stone

Aventurine x f! reader

Summary: love, isn't that such a wonderful dream? Despite this, make sure to not get stuck in it. To be stuck in a dream is to abandon reality, yet this dream is all he has.

Cw. Angst, smut, creampie ig, no comfort bc that's boring

A/n: wrote this under an hour and it's not proofread so 🤷

“All or nothing.”

For most of his life, he's always been just Aventurine. A polished gem, capable of handling anything you dish out to him. Whether it be a heavy workload or cruel treatment from others; his luck seems to never run out.

So when you came around, it was different.

The way you gently took his hand in yours, your feather like kisses that tainted his forehead— he wanted to run.

“I love you”, a soft moan escaped your lips as you arched your back from the harsh bending he put you through.

He wants to see you break, to make you stop this madness; the madness being you treating him like an actual person, not the stoneheart or eccentric gambler.

But he can't.

For the first time in his life, he starts thrusting slowly, gently, making sure you're handled with care, as if you're porcelain.

He leans down to bite on your neck, a part of him wanting to claim you. He's never owned anything that was truly his, that never left him. So when you stare at him with a gaze full of lust— is when he realised he could have something for himself.

‘pap’, ‘pap’, ‘pap’, sweat trickled down his forehead as his digits snaked to your spent clit, the stimulation sending you over to the edge, is it so selfish to have you, is it so selfish to want you as his own?

Aventurine does a pretty good job of pushing people away, no one ever had good intentions with his heart.

For a man who never shuts up, the words are stuck in his throat— are they tears? No, no, he spent enough tears on the day of his capture of his old Master. So why?

“I'm close—fuck…”, you sigh between gritted teeth, Aventurine lifted your legs onto his shoulders to hit that spongy spot deeper. It's too much.

Only your wanton moans were heard in his usually empty apartment room. He'd take you out usually in fancy hotels, drowning you in riches till you forget how to breathe, making sure you're taken care of. He's silent.

Your hole melted around his shaft, it felt utterly lewd on how he shaped your walls to the size of his cock, he can't bear to lose anyone anymore.

As selfish, as shameless as it seems, he grinds his hips faster into yours, the palm of his hand squeezing your tit harshly as he wants— no he needs to destroy you.

“Oh— fuck!”, a wave of pleasure washes over you, enough to drown out your senses and any other thoughts in your mind.

Despite this, he continues to move.

His eyes blown out as he desperately chases his high, fuck. Was it really selfish to just taint every part of you as his so no one would ever dare take you away?

Tears well up his eyes, not because you feel good, but because of how damn good you are at breaking him with that stupidly lovesick stare of yours.

He needs to paint your walls white, to litter your skin with enough marks— inflict enough pain on you to make sure he's truly yours.

The bed shook with his harsh thrusting, was he really making love to you or was he just trying to destroy you enough to be sure he can call you his? He doesn't know, he thinks it's the latter.

With one more thrust, he never wants to leave this dream. Your eyes rolling to the back of your hand, those gentle hands who cup his cheeks to comfort him now harshly gripping on the sheets, the way you clench down on his cock like a vice— he feels wanted.

Even if it's just your body that wants him, it's enough.

But you always give more than what you should.

He smirks when he sees you writhing under him desperately, he's painted your walls white he's happy that he's destroyed you for any other man you'll ever meet again.

No matter how fucked out you are, you still had it in you to pull him towards you, to land a sweet kiss that he swears was just a dream.

Why can't you just stop looking at him that way?

“I love you,” again, a whisper so quiet yet it's all he could hear. He bites his lip in anxiety, “Stop saying that.”

“Why?”, why exactly?

“Just stop,” none of you moved. It felt good being inside you, just plugging your used cunt to keep his cum in there.

“I don't care, I love you”

He wants to scream, shout, and be angry with you. An aventurine stone is durable enough to withstand being worn in jewellery; it is relatively hard, so it should not break or crack easily.

But when you're under him, every second, it's like he's about to crack, so close to breaking.

He's being so out of character, he thinks.

He chewed his lip, the sight of you making him feel nauseous. You're as gentle as the sun, so why stick to him, why burn him until there's no more of him left?

Do you take pleasure in this madness? Will you leave him just like everyone else? He thinks you're a mind reader, because how else would you know what he's thinking?

“I'm not going anywhere”, you give his arm a reassuring squeeze but it's not enough, “Stop, stop lying to me—”, “I'm not.”

Droplets of tears taint your skin, it burns more than any other hickey or scar he could ever give you, “Why would I lie to you?”

Time and time again, no matter how many times he tries to break you, to own you, it's always you who wins. He might ruin you for any other man, but you'll crush him like selenite under a hydraulic press.

He can break your body, he can hurt and use you but he'll always be on the losing end because it would mean losing you.

Again, you find a way to break him with a few words, “I love you.”

It's not a promise, it's your truth.

Like the pathetic man he is, he cries. “Why are you doing this to me?”

“I don't want to hurt you”, but you are. You are giving him something to own, not just your body, your love and soul. And for everything he can own, it's something he can lose.

“Don't do this,” he starts moving again, maybe it'll be enough to drown out his tears with pleasure.

Fuck— he flipped you over, then brutally jutting his hips into yours. He doesn't want to see your face, it's the last thing he needs to see. “A-aven…”

It feels good enough, good enough to forget the nonsense you kept spouting out earlier.

“Shut up, just shut up.” He's far from gentle, he needs to break you, he'll succeed this time.

He fucks into you with vigor, eyes trained on the bouncing of your ass, the pad of his palm slapping it brutally, leaving a fading red on the supple skin.

“Why do you do this to me?” his voice raspy as his throat burned from tears, from your kindness, “Do you really want to see me break?”

You stay silent, letting him destroy your body, letting him slap each and every crevice, every nook and cranny of your body; because he needs it.

You try to ignore the tears that dripped on your back, his aggressive grab on your waist. He cries.

His voice going hoarse, his egocentric behaviour no more, “Answer me!”

You lowered your head as he destroyed your cunt from the back, why can't he just stop this? Both of you are breaking.

The more he tries to break you, he kills himself.

“Please,” his ministrations slowing for a moment to let you think, you cannot ignore his pleas.

Out of common courtesy in a conversation to reply, “It's not my fault you are.”

Ah.

“I hate you—,” “Aventurine, stop.”

Your walls clamp down on his length, he goes faster, pulling your hair. At this point, he's trying to kill you, not just break you.

“Shut up, please…” he begs again.

‘pap’, ‘pap’, ‘pap’, you oblige and don't say a word. One more, one more. You can't see his face but his breaths got heavier, you know he's crying too.

Like a frenzied man, he goes faster until you can no longer take. He wants you to leave him so he doesn't have to lose you the way he's lost every other thing he's loved.

Cum spurted on the bedsheets, a trademark for your stupid little affair.

He pulls out, no longer wanting to be close to you, “Don't go,” are you out of your mind? No matter how many times he tries to push you away, you keep pulling him towards you.

“I can't promise that.” he gives in.

“You don't have to, just stay.”

“I have to go.”

“Please.”

Just this once, it's okay to indulge in you.

He stares at you with half-lidded eyes, desperate for validation. You stare back into his, with empty ones. Without a second thought, you hugged him, he knows you're all just a fleeting dream.

He shudders against your touch when you leave familiar kisses on his neck, dangerously close to the barcode of ownership of IPC on him. He can't bring himself to tell you to stop.

For all his life, he was Aventurine first, never Kakavasha. Tonight, he is not an Aventurine. Not the stoneheart, not the IPC's ornament. He is yours.

Enough time passed that you fell asleep, he draped the comforter on your used body. He can't bring himself to give you a final goodbye kiss.

He closes the door quietly, knowing there won't be a next time.

A voice rings in his ears, “Did you enjoy your dream? If so, leave a 5 star review!”

He sighs to himself, exiting the dreamscape.

Note: it's kinda meh since it was just a spur of the moment kinda fic and i forgot how to write good smut since its been a while 💀. I hope its okay.

Written by @khuzena. Likes, reblogs and comments are always appreciated. ♡

#honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail x you #hsr fluff #hsr x reader #aventurine fluff #aventurine x reader #aventurine honkai star rail #aventurine smut #what have i done #hsr smut #honkai star rail angst #aventurine angst #Kakavasha x reader #Honkai star rail aventurine x reader

376 notes · View notes

melodic-haze · 15 days

Note

YK HOW CLORINDES BUTTON IS FIGHTING FOR ITS LIFE ON HER UNIFORM RIGHT. Then imagine reader noticing it and just tearing it apart and suck her tits. That’s a need fr 🤤

☆ — DEMO TRACK: sub!Clorinde x dom!Reader

☆ — TYPE: NSFW

☆ — CONTENT WARNINGS: Nipple obsession 🫶, she gets kinda perved on a lil bit but that's just people looking at her and her whoreass fit like!!! What!!!!!!!, idk what else ngl

☆ — NOTES: Dude how the fuck do her clothes even work. Like I've been staring at it for a while now like what. How???? Anyway it's 1 am sorry if it isn't coherent

Clorinde's buttons are fighting for their lives and so am I

"Appropriate uniform" my nonexistent left NUT how the HELL!!! Is that allowed!!!!!!!

No but seriously it must be such a struggle to watch her walk around like that. Like what. What why what

You couldn't help but stare at your lover's chest—more specifically, her button-up that was practically struggling to hold on.

"..Clorinde?"

She lifts her head to look at you with a light smile on her face, temporarily pausing her movement to put on her shoes, "Yes, my dear?"

You cleared your throat as you leaned on the wall, looking at your eyes still locked onto that same spot, "Do you not get.. you know, a clothing violation or something?"

"Why?" She tilted her head in what is indesputably, undeniably real confusion, "I do not see why I would."

She probably feels it though. Or at least you'd assume so, with how tight her clothes seem to be on her.

"..Nothing. Just, um," you scratched the nape of your neck sheepishly before shaking your head and forcing your eyes on her own, "good luck at work today."

She nods and says her goodbyes before leaving out the door.

Hm.

When you're outside, for some reason you can't help but notice that people are staring at her awfully lot!! It could be because like she's the Champion Duellist so obvs they'd be in awe.........but it doesn't seem like they're in awe for that reason, with the way they look at her restricted chest when they're close enough. Is it just today that they're noticing this?? Or is it just today that YOU'RE noticing them looking at her??????

Whatever it is, it's pissing you off a little (a lot)!!! She has the audacity to say she doesn't know what you're on about when she's being gawked at bc of the same reason YOU were gawking at her for

By the time the day ends you're about to lose it (I would personally 🫶) so you're waiting in your room for her before she comes back, all oblivious to the MANY stares she's had and the. Wardrobe malfunction that was going on there. The moment she gets back, dude POUNCE HER because I fuckin would 😭😭😭

Don't give her time to even think of anything—not like she'll need the time, she'd abandon all trains of thought for once the moment you're both in the mood. Kiss her HARD, she'll happily let you and your tongue lead like a familiar dance between the two of you

What ISN'T familiar, though, is when you grasp onto the opening part of her button-up and tug on it. And not tug on it normally like you would to suggest that she takes her clothes off, nonononono I mean FORCING IT TO SPLIT

She breaks the kiss to ask you what you're doing and that you're putting a LOT of force into-- OH SHIT IT POPPED OPEN!!!! The buttons didn't really need any encouraging by that point but with your help it popped off to god knows where 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ but colour her SURPRISED she did NOT expect you to do that

Or did she

Anyway she's quite literally about to complain to you, saying that that was her clothes you JUST ripped open what the heck!!!! But then you kinda easily shut her up the moment you tug her bra down and start paying attention to her tits

Bite em hard, suck em real nice and leave a VERY obvious mark on them so that she thinks twice about wearing things that will DEFINITELY expose her at any given minute. Play with her nipples too, and don't forget to give attention to the neglected side❗️❗️

She'll shut up real quick if you pay SOOO much attention to them, pulling you in even further via holding your head closer to you. She'll even comb your hair too, if you have any :3 though she might accidentally tug on them if you do smth that particularly gives her a shock lol

Atp rip her tights for access too, she won't even care anymore now that you've ripped her shirt open 🤷‍♀️ she says she has more anyway what's one loss gonna do?? Rip it and massage her clit as you don't stop spoiling her breasts, sucking them as if something's gonna come out if you persevere hard enough, and I promise she'll be breathing so fucking heavily as she begs you for more. More of what? She can't even clarify, the ever so composed Duellist is at an utter loss!!!!!

Plunge your fingers in and you can feel how wet she is, how Easily your fingers just slip into her and move in and out, how her folds practically flutter around your digits from every lick and suck of her nipples like a bitch starved AND possessed

If you curl your fingers a certain way and suck on her tits at the same time too???? Oh FUCK you're ripping out SUCH a huge orgasm from her that has her bucking her hips and grinding them into your palm and you need to fuck her through it!!!! Fuck her through her high and bring her down......and even after that she kinda don't gaf if she's absolutely dirtied her attire atp or made a mess as she drags you off for more, hat probably on the ground and forgotten

She'd care when you're like DONE done though, with her sighing in such a way that you do feel like you should probably help bc you DID still rip her shit apart 😭

But yeah dude everyone can stare all they want but only YOU get the privilege of going feral and tearing her clothes apart just to touch her and taste her in any way you can. Mark her up so that underneath her clothing, as embarrassing as they are, are all the proof that everything under the fabric?? That's all for you babe 🙏🙏

It was the day after, and you were looking at her and her clothing once again.. along with everyone else's looks on her, once again more filled with a mix of filtered lust and quite a bit of jealousy from some of the women due to how form-fitting her attire was.

She did say that she'll make a note to buy some looser versions of her outfit, but...

At the end of the day, it was Clorinde's decision to wear what she wants to wear. And it's not like it's ever hindered her work before—if anything, the fact that it's the way it is probably helps with her mobility somehow, especially when such a chest is sure to be a nuisance when she moves around so much.

..You can't really help but feel a bit jealous of your girlfriend, though. Or maybe possessive?maybe, but such a word feels like you want her all to yourself.

(You do, but still.)

But then you realise that maybe such worries are unfounded after all, especially when you overhear someone speaking of a dark mark on her neck, which she describes as a nasty bite on patrol.

You know it wasn't some random bite though, and it seems that she knows full well she's lying, especially when she sees you and gives you a small smile before pretending to scratch her neck to reveal that dark mark you had inflicted.

198 notes · View notes

asuyaka · 7 months

Note

i keep like, struggling to click the 'ask' button, BUT—i love the taking care of geto little one shot. so what about helping him with nanako and mimiko? like he just shows up at r!'s house late as hell with two little girls with him, bc he has zero clue as to how to take care of them. m!reader is pref but idc. i love ur writing btw (＾▽＾)

★ - yesyesyesyes!! 'm soo inlove with the helpin' Suguru agenda !! ヾ(≧▽≦*)o

☆ - Girldad! Geto Suguru x Male Reader

♡ - off topic, but 'm love your writin' s'much!! really 'm inspiration t'keep writin stuff like this (≧◡≦) ♡

You were borderline asleep in your room after staying on the phone with Gojo for a few hours until he fell asleep.

It wasn't always like this, he could usually fall asleep on his own but that was when Geto was there with him. Now that's he's become a curse user and has turned his back on the Jujutsu world, everything has basically fallen apart.

Your sleepy eyes glance at the time, the saturated red of '12:42 AM' oozing into your pupils.

You try not to think about Geto so you can get some sleep for the first time in a few weeks. You two were... you're not really sure what your label is.

You two have talked, kissed, cuddled, and gone on dates, but Geto never actually put a label on your relationship and now he probably never will.

A sigh leaves your lips as you cuddle your pillow. Thinking of those big arms that used to wrap around you to keep you safe, or that warm chest that you couldn't help but use as pillows.

Needless to say, you missed him.

You weren't sure how long you stayed there almost on the verge of tears before there was a knock at your front door.

Yeah, you weren't going to open that because— A, you've seen enough horror flicks to know that there's a 99.9% chance that it's a serial killer behind the door, and B, it's 12 AM. You aren't stupid enough to open the door this late.

The knocking persisted. Getting heavier every second you didn't open it, and deciding you didn't want a noise complaint and realizing you were a sorcerer, you begrudgingly got up to open it.

You, surprisingly, were right. It was a serial killer.

Of all the people you thought it could be, you didn't think it would be Geto fucking Suguru outside your door.

"Geto? What are you—" You stopped yourself when you finally saw the two girls behind him.

His expression was something like fear and desperation as they clung onto his clothes, looking at you with weary eyes. "Please, [Name], I need help."

That took you for a spin. After the Star Plasma Vessel, you had to pry it out of him that he needed someone to take care of him, someone to help him, and now he's coming to you with two unknown children willingly asking for it?

Without a word you open your door wider, letting the three of them file in and take a seat on your couch.

You close the door, wiping the tiredness from your face and taking a deep sigh. Yeah, this was going to be a long night.

"What is it, Geto?" You ask, taking a seat on the opposing couch and staring at him. You hope your tone doesn't come up as too mean, you were just really— really tired.

The two girls never left his side. They have masks on, one of the girls with light brown hair, a white hoodie, and a black skirt was pressed on his left while the other with black hair, a black hoodie, and white skirt was pressed against his left, holding a small doll in her hands as well

"They're sick. I've tried everything, medicine, letting them rest, dilating their food but nothing's working." Geto's voice sounds helpless and it honestly scares you because this is the same Geto who went against the Sorcerer Killer.

The same Geto who killed a village, scared over the fact his two... daughters(?) were sick.

The thought brings a smile to your face as you squat in front of him, a soft expression on your face.

"What're your names, hm?"

The girls squeeze him tighter but you don't take offense to it. They're staring at a random man they've never seen before so they're obviously cautious.

"It's okay, he's my— my boyfriend, he's not going to hurt you." You notice the small pause in his voice but you won't speak on it. Not now at least.

The girls look at each other before looking at you. "Nanako." The blonde one says, her small finger pointing at the black-haired girl. "Mimiko. My sister."

You can see the adoring smile on Geto's face and you can't help the smile that tugs on your face. "Mind telling me how you guys feel? Any fevers?"

"My throat hurts and my nose is stuffy. My body feels hot sometimes too." Nanako says, interrupting herself with a cough. Geto shushes her softly, rubbing her back so she can get over her coughing fit with the comfort that her dad was beside her.

You get up, using the back of your hand to feel their foreheads. "Yeah, sounds like hay fever. You mind getting something to drink? Make sure it's hot, but not too hot to burn them."

Geto looks surprised. Maybe he didn't think you'd help him after the whole village incident— he's legally classified as a serial killer, and he's heard from word of mouth that he's a kill-on-sight curse user— but he gets up anyway. Nanako and Mimiko following behind like a pair of ducklings.

Rummaging through your medicine cabinet, you try and find fever and congestion medicine for kids. You have some, surprisingly, it's fresh and isn't expired somehow.

You don't even remember buying it— you don't require it as you didn't follow the 'strongest duo' pipeline of adopting children after the duo split up.

Walking back into the living room, you walk in on Geto blowing the steam off their cups, the recognizable scent of hot chocolate permeating the room.

"You didn't tell us you had a boyfriend, Geto-sama!" Nanako whisper yells, slightly wincing when she drinks her drink too early.

"He's pretty..." Mimiko's voice is so soft, it sends a pang of endearment through your heart. Is this what baby fever feels like?

You wait to hear what Geto says. It isn't eavesdropping if it's in your home, right?

"Yeah, sorry for not telling you it's just... complicated between us." Geto breathes out, kissing their heads as they continue to sip on their coacoa.

Complicated is one word for it, but you keep your thoughts to yourself. Announcing your arrival with an unnecessarily loud shutting of the cabinet.

"So how are you two doing? Feelin' any better?" You ask, placing the medicine on the table in front of them.

Nanako nods excitedly and Mimiko keeps it down. While waiting for them to finish, you decide to put on a movie. The Nightmare Before Christmas, a classic you, Gojo, Geto, and Shoko watched on Halloween when you were first-years.

You catch Geto's nervous glances at you but decide not to speak on it, again. It was adult business, and his kids were around.

The girls take their medicine, it's bitter, but you're sure it'll work. They persuade their dad to letting them sleep over after realizing you have a pillow fort in your room.

You don't really know why you never take it down. Maybe it's because you're too lazy, or you like being reminded of the first place you and Geto had your first kiss, but that's a whole can of emotions you're afraid of opening.

They fall asleep holding each other's pinky. Several of your stuffed animals surround them as their bodies move at the same time rhythmically. Maybe it was twin telepathy, who knows.

Now that it was only you and Geto alone, it was... awkward to say the least.

"I'm sorry for dropping in on you like that," Geto says too afraid to look you in the eye.

"Why didn't you take them to the hospital if you didn't know what was happening?" It's a genuine question, you're sure the doctors would've noticed it was a hay fever quicker than you did.

"I'm not letting those monkeys anywhere near my daughter."

Ah, you forgot he hates non-sorcerers.

You let out a breathy laugh, flopping on the cushion next to him. "I'm your boyfriend now, hm?"

Geto blushes at that. "We never technically broke up, so..."

You smile. Even after his mild— they're not mild, they're very serious— crimes, he's still the same Geto Suguru.

The same Geto Suguru you fell in love with.

"I missed you, you know?" Your voice is barely above a whisper, it's vulnerable.

"I missed you too." His hand is on your cheek and he presses a small kiss on your lips.

You've missed this, you've missed him. His hands, that boyish smile on his face the rare times you manage to get him flustered, his smooth saccharine like voice, everything about him.

As he holds his body against yours, hands intertwined and cursed energy mixing together, you realize you never want to let him go, you don't want this to end.

You want him to stay with you until the end of time.

#writin' shit.#ANSWERED LETTERS — 006 #jjk x male reader #male reader #geto suguru #jjk fluff #jujutsu kaisen #geto x male reader #geto fluff #nanako #mimiko and nanako #suguru x male reader #suguru x you #★: immurrsed #jjk

358 notes · View notes

grandlinedreams · 7 months

Note

I forgot you had that list of prompts!! Could I please please pleeeaaase request 71 Law x reader? “I’ve never seen this man before.”

Maybe like Law pisses them off and they pretend to not know him? 🥺

ofc!! I need to figure out my tagging system 'n make stuff like that easier to find when it gets buried but also I gotta get my masterlist put together at all wlkjadf but YES i live for that kind of trope as long as it's not like,,,an indicator of bigger issues bc communication is key in relationships my friends!!

[heads up!: both reader and Law are a touch of orange flag behavior, touch of angst]

"How long are you going to stay mad at Captain?"

"I don't know, Bepo." The mink looks far from reassured by your answer, eyes flicking nervously over your shoulder and then back. You don't have to turn around to know Law is staring at the pair of you, the weight of his gaze square on the back of your head. "Did he tell you to come over here and ask?"

Bepo flinches, squirming nervously. You know he doesn't want to be caught in another of your spats ㅡ though they rarely happen, it's hard to keep your crew out of them when you're all typically confined in such a finite space.

There's a lot that anger dictates you say ㅡ that it's childish of Law to make Bepo come over here to ask instead, to try and wheedle his way into getting you to apologize first because he knows there's not much you hate more than upsetting Bepo and that it's not fair to the mink to make him choose between picking sides or playing mediator.

"Are you mad at me too?" Bepo's question pulls you out of your thoughts and you shake your head, expression softening.

"Of course not, I could never be angry with you." Again, you have to bite your tongue not to add more that'd further the distinct air of a pair of parents at odds with each other. "You can go back to Law, if you want."

Bepo still looks uneasy, but he slides off his seat and moves back towards where Law is sitting with Shachi and Penguin. Even though you know that you shouldn't assume, you don't blame them for taking his side. After all, they've known him longer, been through more with him, he means more to them.

But you? Even though you know they don't see you as such, you're temporary. The crew won't fall apart without you. You can leave and while it'll hurt for a while, they'll get over it.

You've never once feared that Law would demand you leave, but the fury in his eyes during your argument makes you reconsider it. Maybe you'd finally gone too far, and he's finally truly tired of having you around.

The idea of leaving the vessel that's been your home for the last handful of years and the people who have become your family makes your chest ache and your eyes burn with the threat of tears. You don't want to leave.

Lost in your your thoughts and the spiral that your mind threatens to tumble into, the hard clink of glass against the counter makes you jolt. Looking up at the bartender, you watch him jerk his head. "From that gentleman. You know him?"

The drink in front of you is your favorite. Normally you'd be touched that Law remembers such an obscure detail you've only ever mentioned off-handedly, but right now it feels like a slap to the face. Law is still trying everything he can but talking to you.

"I don't know that man at all," you tell the bartender flatly, handing over a couple of berri for your already finished drink and get to your feet. The path you take is intentional as you stalk past your crewmates' table, giving Law a look of icy fury before you continue on.

"You know Captain," Penguin suggests tentatively, "you could always just apologize. [Name] looked super pissed."

Law scowls. "More like being stubborn," he huffs, but guilt still pools in his stomach as he glances at the untouched drink on the counter. It feels like a cheap attempt at forgiveness the more he thinks about it, and he groans. "Fine, fine. I trust you can find your way back on your own?"

"We've got it, don't worry!"

Law gets to his feet, dropping off the appropriate berri for his drink as well before he moves off in the direction that you'd gone. The Polar Tang is quiet by the time he reaches it, lights dimmed for nightfall ㅡ and he slows his pace as he approaches his room.

What is he going to say? He knows he should apologize, but so should you ㅡ you've always had an innate talent for getting under his skin, something that he both loves and hates for how easily you do it. And while fights are truly something few and far between, this last one has left a bad taste in his mouth that only worsens the longer he lets it go.

Exhaling, he reaches for the handle. Part of him expected it to be locked ㅡ but it isn't, and his gaze flicks to you as soon as he walks in. Your back is to him, blanket pulled to your ear ㅡ but he knows the various rhythms of your breathing well enough to know you're not asleep.

He doesn't talk right away, busies himself with getting ready for bed as well before settling behind you and resisting the urge to roll his eyes when you scoot further from him. "Can we talk?"

"I guess." Your tone is clipped, and Law frowns as he reaches for you, hand on your arm.

"Are you going to look at me?"

"No."

Sighing, Law waits a moment before he begins tracing idle shapes against your arm, trying to soothe some of your anger. He knows you well, the way you can never quite stop yourself from leaning into him just a little bit, no matter how upset you are. "...this got out of hand."

You snort. "An understatement," you answer, but you lean a little further into him, and he takes it as a good sign.

"We both said things we didn't mean, and I wanted to apologize for how I talked to you." Law pauses. "And for sending Bepo to talk for me. And the drink."

"I would have drank it, but it felt like a cop out." You roll to face him properly now, and Law hates that he can see the red tinge around your eyes that always means you've been crying. "I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have said any of that either. But you need to talk to me Law, you can't just shut me out because you don't want to be a bother."

"I know." It's easier said than done, but you're patient. He knows that, knows that because you've told him time and time again that there isn't anything that will make you love him any less, either from his past or in the future. ("You're stuck with me," you like to say proudly, and he's never heard better sounding words than that.) "I'll keep working on it."

"We can work on it together," you answer as you press closer and he finally, finally gets to hold you the way he's wanted to since you stormed off after the argument. "We're a team, you and I. You're stuck with me until you don't want me anymore."

Law stills for a moment and then wraps his arms around you, tucking his face into your neck. "Forever," he mumbles. "That's how long I want you. Is that okay?"

You shift against him just enough to press your hand against the back of his head, fingers brushing soft, dark hair. "That sounds perfect to me."

#ㅡmine.#one piece x reader #one piece scenario #trafalgar law x reader #law x reader #anonymous #ㅡanswered.#–ml: law.

396 notes · View notes

hopelesslyromanticshark · 2 months

Note

I lowkey don't know if your currently open to request yet so im lowkey nervous of sending this ask to you but like... If you have time wondering you can do a Jason Grace x Fem!Reader who is a daughter of Eris or Nyx? Im a bit indecisive so idk who to pick because their both interesting tbh

But if the Request are currently closed well.. That's ok ig 👌

⋆⭒˚.⋆ jason grace x daughter of nyx! reader hcs

content: jason grace x daughter of nyx! reader hcs warning: language, mentions of being scared and crying and yeah author's note: these nyx ones also are just so- ugh love. that percy one says on top tho like fr who's big brain thought of that bc like it was NOT mine. it couldn't have been the same brain that cannot spell 'own' for its LIFE. there's no way. anyway, enjoy!! or don't, that's cool too ig

i just KNOW daddy dearest is NOT happy about this development

he punchin walls, he sliding down doors all dramatic like, he whinin to hera

not his perfect boy dating the daughter of the one woman he's scared of

and jason can't find it in him to care, breaking away from his father's approval for the first time in his life

and it's freeing and it's lovely because its with you

naturally, bc of history between zeus and your mother, storms scare you shitless

youre sure that at the first opportunity, zeus will strike you down and just vaporize you

(he wont bc he's scared of your mother, who would leave him a puddle of ichor if he so much as thought about it)

that's actually how you met jason

someone did something to piss zeus off (dionysus we lookin at you) so the camp's typical magic border was put on leave and he allowed this huge thundering storm to coat the valley

jason, the sweet boy that he is, was walking around and making sure no one was too scared by the storm

then he got to your cabin

he knocked a few times but with no answer he slowly creaked the door open

there you were, curled up in a ball in the corner shaking and jumping at every crack of thunder and flash of light that managed to peak through

and it was a strange sight because as a daugther of nyx, nothing scared you

jason had seen you with a gash that went from your ribs to your hip bone...and you had been laughing like you weren't nearly cut in half

jason was instantly by your side, crouching down next to you, soft whispers of you name and a gentle hand rubbing at your shoulder

"make- make it s-stop. ple- please," you managed to hiccup through you sobs, looking up at the blonde boy with wide, tear filled and desperate eyes

and jason wanted to rip every cloud apart and every lightning bolt and every thundercrack into nothing more than atoms

instead, he just pulled you into his arms, allowing you to cry into his chest

and he talked over the thunder and the lightning strikes

and you slowly stopped crying, finding a comfort you never felt before in the boy's arms

you and jason never talked about that night again, but the next morning you slid the boy a crunch bar and continued to walk like nothing happened

jason looked at the chocolate fondly before darting his eyes up, just barely catching you looking over your shoulder at him with fondness oozing from you face

from that forwards, it was nothing more than the grazing of hands and the murmuring of loving words behind closed doors

it wasn't secretive, not at all, simply private

some people couldn't tell if they were together or not, or if they even liked each other

but every time, the children of aphrodite would call that person an idiot and then swoon at the sight of them together, the soft exchange of loving looks and the locking of pinkies together

it was a soft and silent love

and you wouldn't tell if from the way they fought

the clashing of swords, the bumping of skin against skin, the kicking of legs, and the shoving of skin

oh, and the snide comments.

"you call that a block? pitiful."

"please, you don't even know what a good block looks like. don't get cocky on me, grace."

"cocky? i don't need to be cocky with you around. it's not that difficult to be better."

"ha! i didn't know you took clown classes! really seem to be paying off! keep up the good work, sparky the clown!"

but then, the swords would be put down and all of that stuff was left in the arena

none of it was taken personal because they knew who they were going home with, who held their hand tightly, who'd stay by their side

jason liked to call you 'sunshine' and you HATED it

"good morning, sunshine!"

"daughter of the embodiment of darkness here"

"okay, whatever you say...sunshine."

"JASON GRACE!"

and whenever someone pissed zeus off (again, looking at you mr. d) before the storm even has time to roll in, youre running to jason's cabin, your blanket billowing behind you

and jason is waiting, arms held wide open for you to crash into

you find peaceful sleep inside his strong arms despite the storm raging on outside

and jason looks down at your sleeping features, lightened up now and then by the flashes of lightning

he couldn't help the clenching of his heart, certain it was his heart simply making room for the feelings for you that were beginning to bloom in his chest

behind his liver hid his passion for the things you loved

next to ribs, you'd find a bundle of devotion dedicated to you and the way your face scrunches up when you joke with him

and shoving his heart to the side, and rapidly feeling up his chest, it would be hard to miss the pure love and endearment and adoration beginning to take over his soul

all for you, his dark sunshine girl

#postcards from covey ౨ৎ #all my love ౨ৎ #hoo #heroes of olympus x reader #jason grace #jason grace x you #jason grace x reader

297 notes · View notes

plutokoo · 9 months

Note

Maybe a bit weird but yandere big bad wolf jk and small sheep oc/yn?

pairing : yandere wolf jk x fem sheep hybrid reader

genre : smut, yandere

A/N : a quick smutty drabble rn because I'm writing a one shot for it and it's halfway done. I just need to do a quick dump bcs the one shot is kinda long and it's making me hit writers block 😭😭😭😭. this might not be the best tbh but I promise the one shot will be way better.

yandere wolf jk who's a perfectionist at uni never missing a class, always has a 4.0 GPA and never failed to made it in to the deans list.

and then one day he saw you, barging in to the class late mumbling sorry and sitting right in front of him,your scent covering his nose almost instantly,his ears tensing up as he grumble mate slightly under his breath.

he reached for you after class finished, hands grabbing your arm tightly, he leaned his face in, a wolfish grinned adorning his face as he greeted you

you who was timid,fearful and easily panicked,breathed out your name gently hands shaking from the sudden interaction. you can't help it of course it's in your nature to act that way :(

before he could ask you about how he's never seen you in the class before, you snatched your arms from him, legs stuttering to get out of the room as fast as you can, his scent was overwhelming, making your thoughts go hazy from fear.

jungkook frowned as your figure scrambled out, hands forming a fist as he make a silently vow to himself to get you again.

he met you again next on the campus hallway, hands barely holding on to the thick text books you carried as you sauntered around,trying to get into the professor office before bumping against some jock, your knees crashing on the hard tiles as the books fell from your grasp, gasp leaving your lips from the pain. the hallway turned silent, people watching you trying to gather books, you wanted to wailed from the attention you're receiving, your knees ached from the impact,blood oozing out from the cuts it received

jungkook immediately rushed up to you, shooing people away as he kneeled down, his hands quickly collect the books as he helped you stand up. he cooed at the fat tears that was sliding down your face, "its okay baby you're okay they're gone know" he fussed wiping your tears away

you sobbed,wiping your face at the sleeve of your sweater, the nickname he gave you went unnoticed as he continued to caressed your face.

"let me help you bring these and then we'll go to the infirmary to take care of your knees, okay?" he offered not giving you time to answer before he grabbed your hands,his other hand holding the books easily as he sauntered to the office

after that it was easy for jungkook to make you his,everyday he would take you out for coffee,sit beside you in class, and helped doing your assignments. he'd pamper you endlessly, slowly convincing you to sleep at his place instead because it was too dangerous for you to sleep alone and you who was dumb,naive and gullible believed everything he said.

he'd make you move to his apartment too, because it's such a hassle for his baby to be going back and forth at all and he doesn't like the thought of you being all alone so please move in with me baby, I don't like being apart from you :((((

jungkook Hates when you start talking or making friends with other people because you're his and only his to have, it's not hard to make you stop talking to these people of course, your timid nature making it easy for him to remove people from your life.

he'd tell you everyday, gaslighting you into thinking about how your friends view you as an easy target and how you will always be a Second choice to them, how you would easily get stampede if you keep hanging around with people other than him.

you'd believed everything he said, the thought of leaving the home you thought as a safe place become more and more distasteful making you switch all your classes to online instead, which ofcourse was jungkooks Idea.

jungkook loves to fuck you, he loves rubbing your wet pussy through your panties while you're sleeping, hips unconsciously humped against his hands as moans left your lips,his hands would move the panties sideways, thumbs slowly rubbing your clit, drawing 8 figures on it making you reach your qlimax, soft pants leaving your lips.

he'd fuck you on top of the kitchen counter, your front leaning on it, clit grazing against the counters corner everytime he thrust forward. cold marble pressing against your chest as jungkook pulled your hair back, his hand reaching down to pinch your nipple making you squeeze more around his cock

"aah...aah ple..please" you mewl hands rubbing your clit, desperate to reach your orgasm. jungkook grunts, his hands smacked you ass,groaning as he watched it jiggle "please what slut", he rasped hips bucking faster as he leaned down, lips sucking your necks making your eyes rolled back from the pleasure

"uh...ugh...cum please" you cried out, jungkook reached down hands smacking your pussy as he yanked your hair back "fuck..baby..cum" he choked, you wailed as you squirt against him,body trembling, eyes rolling back as your pussy pulsate againts his cock. "fuck fuck fuck" jungkook sobbed out as he reached his climax, filling your hole with so much cream it drips out.

he pulled out,wincing slightly before plugging his hand up your hole, preventing his cum from dripping down your hole "can't let this go to waste hm".

jungkook loves it when you got your heat he'd fuck you on every surface in the house. he'd fuck you on the couch when the movie's still playing,on the bathtub while letting the shower jet hits your clit , on the floor where he'd fuck you so hard you could barely from a sentence.

jungkook loves you so much he'd kill for you. he would easily get rid of anyone that he thinks might be a threat to your relationship.

he'd do anything for you as long as you don't leave his side,so don't even try to think about doing it it okay?.

937 notes · View notes

her-favorite · 9 months

Text

SUGAR DADDY; C. MONAGHAN

SUGAR DADDY!CAMERON MONAGHAN X F!READER

WARNINGS: SMUT! DADDY KINK!!! (like extremely- obviously.. don’t read if you’re uncomfortable!!), dom!cam/sub!reader, spanking, choking (sexually), he is cockyyyy - i’m so sorry for how rushed the end is, i felt like i needed to end it soon and i wanted to try and get it out as soon as possible - grammar mistakes bc my autocorrect sucks

WORD COUNT: 11,383 - sorry guys, i got carried away

A/N: REQUESTED! obvi this isn’t gonna be how cam acts (given it’s also a fic), but yk..! also to the person that requested this, i really hope you like it and this is what you wanted!! 🖤

some that wanted tagged!: @l3xilove @darkmoviesquotespizza @hughestv 🖤🖤

SUMMARY: Being a broke college student was hard. Hoping that you’ll be able to take the edge off one night, you head to a bar downtown. You meet a man that was willing to help you..

You groan and wipe your hands over your face as you stare at your reflection. For the past couple months, you’ve been struggling with money and rent, having to tear apart your dorm to find any loose change or pick up small shifts at any sort of store that was willing to hire. All you wanted was a break, whether it was for a couple weeks or a night.

You walked back towards your bed as you threw yourself on it, staring up at the ceiling. Different ideas combat in your mind, fighting for your motivation or being thrown away in lack of.

You huff as you look over towards your nightstand that was placed next to your bed, staring at your phone resting there. The thought popped in your mind earlier, but you were quick to try and shut it down. It was back now and louder, wanting every single part of you to focus on it. As you slowly gave in, you groaned again and reached for your phone.

It was sometime later than nine, dark enough outside that the lights of the buildings reflected off of windows. You sighed as you looked back at your phone, fighting the urge to get up and run to your small closet. You didn’t.

You shuffled through your clothes, trying to find something appropriate to wear to a bar. Your hand gets caught on a hanger as you pass by all of the options and you pull it out, scanning your eyes over the small dress. You shrug and grab it, knowing that there was nothing else you owned that would fit the setting.

Smoothing out the small wrinkles in the dress with flat hands, you look back up at your reflection, not exactly upset at it. You tweaked your hair and light makeup, not going to look for a hookup, more so a drink to get the edge off.

You grab your phone and wallet and make your way outside. The bar was just down the street from your building and trusting the people in the neighborhood, you walked your whole way down the slightly damp sidewalk. The day before was full of thunderstorms, heavy rain smacking against your thin windows. The road was still wet as cars drove over it, the sound of the tires rolling over the water filling your ears.

Once you made your way inside the bar, your path lead straight to the stool that was in front of the counter. You sighed as you sat down, setting your wallet in front of you, feeling around for just enough money to buy a drink or two. You called down the bartender and ordered, waiting impatiently for it. You spent the entire week debating on this idea, wondering if it was a good waste of your money and time. Too late now, you thought.

“You alright?”

Your head looked to your left at the voice, eyes meeting with dark green ones. He had ginger hair with a strong jawline and perfectly made smile lines around his mouth. He was two seats down from where you sat at the bar, sitting tall with his crossed arms resting on the counter. He sat confident with a certain hint of emotion in his voice that you couldn’t understand yet. Your eyes scanned over his body, before realizing you haven’t answered the handsome man.

“Yeah, why do you ask?” You tried to sound as confident as him, but once the bartender came back with your drink, you immediately took it and drank it. You heard a soft laugh from your side from the same man, a quiet sound of the seat screeching before strong footsteps walked towards you. As you set down your glass, you swallow the sharp liquid, licking over your teeth.

“Your leg.” His voice was louder now that he was sitting next to you. It sounded more manly once he was closer to you, a sort of rasp in his voice that sent chills down your spine. Maybe you wouldn’t mind a hookup.

You gave him a questioning look before looking down at your leg, realizing that it had been bouncing anxiously. You immediately stopped, putting one of your hands on it to stop it from repeating. He laughed again, flagging down the bartender and ordering two shots. You didn’t pay attention to what he was getting, suddenly trying not to feel embarrassed in front of the unknown man.

“I’ll ask again, are you alright?” He looked over at you, his bright hair shining in the bar lights. You snapped out of your quick daze, blinking and nodding.

“Yeah, just.. stressed.” You shrugged, trying to play it off. You’d rather not get into your money issues with a stranger while you’re drinking.

Loud music plays through the vast building, everyone chatting with someone else. You looked around to take in the setting, watching people exchange numbers or tongues, watching people dance or make out and, obviously, drink.

“You’re doing it again.” Your head snaps back to him as he stares at your leg. You sigh as you put your hand over it again, trying to remind yourself to stop. You flinch as you feel a cold hand move over yours, lightly sitting on top of your thigh. He keeps eye contact with you, silently asking if it was okay. You hesitate for a second, before nodding and moving your hand so he can keep his on your skin. He gives you a smile and then looks back as the bartender sets the tiny glasses in front of him. He grabs one with his free hand and looks over at you, nodding his head towards the other. He smirks, knowing you wouldn’t be able to say no. “I didn’t do anything to it, if that’s why you’re hesitant. You saw him pour it.” He states, bringing the cup up to his lips and hiding his soft smile behind it. You try to hide a laugh as you grab it, clinking it with his. You both take it at the same time, setting the shot glasses down on the table in sync. Your nose scrunches as you swallow it, the feeling of it burns sliding down your throat. He laughs at your reaction, seeming to take the drink lightly.

You realized after that your hand went down to his that rested on your thigh and grabbed it, trying to find something to ground you from the strong taste. When you looked back up, he averted his gaze and looked around the bar as if he didn’t notice. You smile to yourself, feeling your face heat up.

“What were you stressed about?” He breaks the silence and looks back at you. You hesitate before replying, knowing it would be easier to get it off your chest than keep it in until you’re done with college.

“Just money problems. I almost never have enough to pay for college and rent and it’s just really stressful.” You ramble, taking your hand away subconsciously and setting your elbows on the bar and putting your face in your hands. You regretted it immediately after you told him, huffing out an annoyed breath. A potential hookup wouldn’t want to hear about your money issues.

“I could help with that.”

Your head snapped up to look at him, analyzing his serious face. No smile, no sign of joking, showing you he was being earnest. You opened your mouth to question him, but he started talking before you could.

“I could help you out with your money issues.. if you help me with something else.”

You keep eye contact with him as you think over your options, subtly squeezing his hand that was still resting on your thigh. A small smirk formed on his face when he realized you were giving in. You swallowed a lump in your throat before nodding, still keeping contact with him. He smirks and grasps your thigh making goosebumps form on your skin.

"I haven't even told you what I had in mind and you're already agreeing." He teases with a cocky attitude. You feel your cheeks heat up in response, looking away from his piercing gaze. Suddenly, you feel two fingers rest under your chin and moves your head up to look at him again. "C'mon, you wanna be a good girl for your daddy, huh?"

A shiver passes through your body as heat travels down your body, going directly to your core. Your eyes widen slightly as his dirty words leave his smirking mouth, goosebumps forming on your skin. Your situation finally settled in as he talked to you, realizing that the man in front of you was now your supply for money... in return of staying with him. Swallowing dryly, you nod your head slowly, your body completely frozen to your seat at the bar. It wasn't like he was unattractive, if anything you were glad he chose you instead of some other bimbo in the club.

"Good." Pale fingers tap your chin gently, before taking his hand away and standing up swiftly. You have to look up at him from your seat, starting to feel intimidated by his height. His lips curl up wider as he watches you and your body language, noticing the way your thighs gravitate towards the other and how vulnerable you looked right now. He already loved the sense of power he held over you. "Let's dance.." He let his sentence trail off as he waits for you to reply. A pale hand reaches out and stays there until you grab it.

"Y/N." You reply, staring at him. You felt stupid, immediately bending to the stranger's will. No one has ever captivated you like he has; his character was confident and smooth, and it captured you so easily.

He smiles down at you, "Let's dance, Y/N." He pulls you up by your joined hands and walks the both of you over towards the floor. The place wasn't crowded, but it wasn't empty either. It was only ever used by casual customers, the people that get home from their jobs at the end of the day and decide that they needed a drink for the fifth time that week. You've been here two or three times before, given the drinks weren't as expensive compared to the other bar a couple minutes away. It was bigger than this one and held more college students, the ones that thought it was better to pay for a drink that was overpriced than sit in a nasty, old bar like this one. You didn't mind it though. Especially not now.

The man pulls you close to him, turning you around and pressing you up against his front quickly. His movements were always calculated and effortless, never seeming to fault or trip in the slightest.

His hands grip your hips as his nails slowly dig into your skin the more you move against him. Grinding your hips back onto his as the music gets louder and fills your ears, gradually taking over your body. A low grunt sounded in your ear, interrupting the song. Your body heats up at the new noise, already feeling greedy for more. You roll your hips back again, trying to hit him perfectly.

“You already want it that bad, doll?” The man whispered in your ear, somehow cutting through the music and sending a chill down your spine. Your hands guide themselves down to rest on his, squeezing them tighter against you making him push you back against him. You gasp as you feel something against your backside, many thoughts clouding your mind but none of them mattered once you realized that he wants it as bad as you do.

You nod your head submissively, leaning back to lie it on his shoulder. Moving your eyes to look up at him, his green ones meet yours as a confident smile takes over his pink lips. He leans down slightly, just barely hovering over your lips.

“Look at what you did to daddy.” A breathy moan escapes your mouth at his words, as he ushers your hand down with his to his crotch. He folds his hand over yours as he makes you touch him, feeling the bulge in his pants. You could only imagine how wet you were right now.

A wide smirk graces his handsome features, never moving his lips an inch away from you. He stood still, both of your bodies lightly moving from the music. Impatiently, you lean up and capture his lips with yours. He groans involuntarily, surprised at your surge of confidence.

Everything hit you once his tongue slid past your lips and into your mouth. You were making out with a stranger in a bar, that had said, just moments before, that he would “help you out” with your money issues. You also realized that you never knew what the handsome gingers name was. Maybe that was his ploy, to only let you refer to him as your daddy and not his true identity. I guess that’s all he was to you now; your daddy. You couldn’t say that you didn’t like it.

Whining as he pulls away from the kiss, the hand the was once placed on yours, travels up and hooks his thumb with your lip and slowly drags it down. Your eyes never leave his cunning ones as his gaze was on your lip. Spit starts to gather in your mouth as he doesn’t let go. Finally, after several more seconds, he lets it fly back up and catch a small drop of saliva before bringing his finger up to his lips and pushing his thumb in his mouth. He moans at the taste and his eyes never look away from yours. His sounds affect your body in a way you didn’t even know possible. He held such strength over you that you weren’t sure you would even make it through the rest of the night before practically throwing yourself at him.

“Why don’t we go back to my place, baby? We can have all the fun we want.” He smirks and the other hand on your hip starts to shift down your stomach. No words seemed to fill your head as you nod with fervor, too entranced with the idea of falling in bed with the ginger. “Good girl. C’mon.” He starts to walk as his arm wraps around your waist, pulling you with him. You immediately let him, quickly falling instep with him on the way out. Before he leaves, he makes his way over to the bar and tips the bartender generously, walking away casually. The worker stood in shock at the money before him, eyes darting between the man walking out of the small building and the green cash in front of him. When you look back at the pale man beside you, there was a faint smirk still on his face as he looked straight ahead.

Stepping out into the cold air made goosebumps form on your exposed arms and legs. He notices quickly, shrugging off his light jacket and wrapping it around your shoulders. Arriving at your destination towards his car, your eyes scan over the expensive model, mouth unknowingly agape. A small chuckle was heard behind you as a finger lifts up under your chin and shuts it gently. “Close your mouth, angel. I’ll use that to my advantage later.” Heat raises to your cheeks fast as his bold words never stop leaving his perfect lips, seeming to tease you on purpose just for your reaction. His hand comes back to your lower back, escorting you to the passenger side of his car. “Get in, babygirl.” His voice was raspy as the night carries out, his dominant tone never failing to send certain jolts of electricity straight to your core. “I’m gonna spoil you rotten.” He whispers in your ear before kissing it and walking around his car to the drivers side.

You stood in shock for a couple seconds, before having to gather yourself and get into his car. You came to the realization that this was definitely not the safest idea, especially around 11 pm. But you were willing to take the risk if you managed to leave with at least a couple more dollars if the night turned out well and not end up dead on the side of the road.

The shutting of his car door cut you out of your paranoia, looking over to him as he clicks the radio on and rests his hands on the steering wheel in front of him. It seemed new, the reflective surface illuminating spots with the bright street lamps; the smooth cover and the perfect sound of his rough hands sliding against the soft texture. His arm moved backwards, resting it against the back of your seat, looking behind him as he pulls his car out of the parking space. Your body grows hotter as you watch him carefully, your thighs feeling tighter against each other without you realizing. He does, though.

A freckled hand reaches out and rests on your thigh, making you freeze. The warmth of his hand spreads through your body, in contrast to the goosebumps that still remained on your skin from the midnight chill outside. He squeezes it as the song on the radio slowly adds more bass and grows louder, matching with the tense atmosphere in the car. His fingers gradually inch up your thigh, towards the end of your dress. He swipes one finger over the edge of it, never once looking over at you. His face was stone cold, putting on his blinker when he needed to, turning when he was supposed to, and stopping at the red lights that reflected off of his face in the dark lighting of the night.

As soon as his fingers brush by your underwear, he stops the car and pulls his hand away. Before you could open your mouth to say anything, he grabs your chin and tilts your head towards him. His face hasn’t changed as he stays neutral and looks straight into your eyes. “You know what you’re getting into, right, doll?” He asks, seriously. The new demeanor intimated you quickly as you nod. “Good.” He gives you a smile. “You’re gonna be so good for your new daddy.”

Chills erupt on your body, as you nod eagerly. He taps your chin lightly with his thumb and then pulls away again, reaching over to open your door for you. He stays silent as he unlocks his as well, following his movements as he steps out of his car. Once you tear your gaze away from him, you look ahead of you at his house. You stand in shock as you stare at it, entranced by the beautiful design. It was big with many stories, a mansion even. It was white with certain decorations that made it stand out in the desolate area. You wondered what he did for a living..

“You coming?” Blinking, you look away from his house and watch him walk towards it. He looks back at you with a cocky smirk, before moving his eyes back ahead of him when he was sure you heard him. Quickly, you catch up to him and join his side as he walks up the several steps to his house, if you can even call it that.

He unlocks it and lets you walk in first. Your eyes immediately scan the area that was in your vision, already in shock at the beautiful interior. A laugh sounds behind you as his keys stop jingling and is thrown in a bowl that sat on top of a side table beside the entrance. He comes up behind you, his body just inches away from your back, feeling the tense air between it. “You wanna head to my bedroom or gawk at the house a little more, hm?” He teases you, whispering softly in your ear. It was enough to make your body heat up again, and you nod in response. He hums appreciatively at your answer, taking your hand is his and starting to walk again.

Once you both make your way up some stairs and he finds a certain door, it slides open smoothly and reveals a large bedroom. The walls were darker compared to the rest of the house. A desk sits by a wall, the surface clean, but holding a pencil case and some stray papers. It was sort of bland, but it had enough taste to make you feel comfortable in it. Walking inside, you turn around as he closes the door and takes smooth strides towards you. Hands finding their way to your hips as they pull you closer, pressing your body against his. The sudden movements always surprise you, something that the redhead liked.

He liked having you bend to his will, to have you wrapped around his finger. In the back of his head, he knew that a majority of the agreement to come back to his place was because of the money, but he didn’t focus on it. He liked having you with him, it felt normal, almost.

“You’re gonna be so pretty, lying down on my bed with your legs open wide for me. Can’t wait to finally feel what it’s like to fuck you, having you beg me for more.” He talks, his hand slowly traveling up your body. You hold back a moan from his words, an unexplainable feeling inside your body growing hotter. Curling his hand around your throat, he adds pressure to your neck. Your lips part slightly at the sudden force against you, leaving your mouth open for him. He takes it to his advantage as his other hand moves up towards your face.

His thumb inches forward, into your mouth. His green eyes stare at your lips, waiting for you to close them around his digit. You comply to his silent demand quickly, letting his thumb rest on your tongue. You hollow your cheeks against him as his pupils get larger, the green in his eyes barely noticeable now. He moves his thumb back as far as his finger would go, before taking it out. Spit is left on your lower lip as he rests the pad of his finger on it, eyes never once leaving the sensual scene in front of him. He stepped closer to you, your body just inches away from his. He drags your lip down further and then lets go, watching it snap back up towards you. Without hesitation, he leans forward and takes your mouth in a desperate kiss.

The grip around your throat felt tighter as seconds go by. His tongue meshes with yours as his free hand sets itself on your hip. His tall stature held its own advantage over you, making you feel even more vulnerable in his touch.

He groans as he pulls away, but stays still just inches away from your face. “Get on the bed and spread your pretty legs for daddy. I wanna see how much you need me.” Chills raise on your body at his demanding voice, in contrast to the overwhelming heat that kept your body captive.

You immediately bend to his orders once he lets you go, sitting back on the bed. You prop yourself up on your elbows as you clamp your thighs together, whether it was your reality check coming to you or the fact you were about to open your legs for a stranger. He reaches forward and takes off your heels, setting them down on the floor. He stood by the foot of the bed, staring down at you with violent eyes. They made goosebumps prickle your skin, suddenly wondering what he was going to do with you.

“I thought you wanted to be a good girl for your daddy?” He mocks, a shadow of a smirk curling on one side of his lips. You feel heat starting to form on your face, embarrassment starting to flow through your body. “C’mon, baby. Let me look at ya.” His hands land on your thighs, flinching from the cold of his palms. His smirk widens at your reaction, already loving the responses he’s gotten out of you. And he hasn’t even started yet.

His hands slowly inch towards your inner thighs, grabbing them with strict fingers as he moves them apart. You come to terms that it would be better not to fight it as the cold air brushes under your dress, his strong hands already getting a hold of you. You let him open your legs, keeping strong eye contact the entire time. He licks his lips and looks down once your thighs are spread and moves his smooth hands up your skin. Your dress scrunches up to your hips at the position of your feet on the bed as your knees are bent, giving him the perfect view from above.

“Knew you’d look so pretty like this..” His voice grew quieter as he talked, more so to himself. He doesn’t take his eyes away from under your dress, letting the flimsy material fall around your waist. His right hand shifts towards your underwear, slowly teasing the edge of it. He hooks his finger under the crease that rests at the very top of your thigh and pulls it as far as it can go before letting it snap back down on your skin. He smiles at the action, moving his fingers over the front of the fabric, watching you grow more impatient than you were seconds before.

“Daddy..” Before you realized it, the word slips out of your mouth as you whine. Closing your eyes as your body heats up, you feel embarrassed letting the other man take complete control of you.

“Finally.” He smiles, showing his sharp teeth. His fingers suddenly press down on your clit over your underwear, making you gasp and your eyes fly open. “Been waiting for you to talk to me.” He speaks, watching the way his fingers slowly make their way down your underwear and starting to hook over the edge. “As much as I love watching those sweet eyes of yours look up at me, doll.. I like it better when you talk to daddy.”

Your hand flies over your mouth in surprise as he quickly gathers your wetness and moves his finger inside you. The fast movement shocked your body as you lie still, clenching around his one digit.

He shakes his head in a disapproving manner, “Take your hand away. I wanna hear you beg for more.” Sliding in another finger, he moves them faster inside you, hitting the perfect spot each time. You put your hand back down on the bed per his request, gripping the satin sheets in your clenched fist. The sound of his fingers going in and out of you filled the silent room, only managing to turn you on more. Once his thumb hits your clit and rubs circles on it, you were done for. “You gonna cum, baby?” He looks up at you on the bed and watches the way your expressions change. Nodding as your reply, your eyes flutter open and shut quickly. “Look at me when you come.”

It was as if it were on demand, your eyes connect with his as your body lets go and follows his orders. As your thighs stop shaking, you close your eyes for a couple seconds. Once you open them, you’re met with the sight of the ginger taking his fingers away from you and bringing them up to his mouth. Pushing the pale digits past his pink lips, he groans as he tastes you.

“Fuck, you taste so good.” His hands land back on your thighs as he starts to move onto the bed and lean over you. “Knew I couldn’t leave my girl without finishing first, right?” He teases with a smile, whispering hotly in your ear. “We’re just getting started.”

As the last syllable leaves his tongue, his hand curves under your body and reaches for the zipper on the back of your dress. You arch your back in response, giving him easy access to undo it. He pulls it down your body, leaving you in just a bra and underwear. He rested on his knees on the end of the bed, still in his clothes. He had a soft button up on, a black, silky one. Two buttons were undone at the top, teasing the faint orange curls that lie underneath. His pants match; black dress pants that show off his long legs. An expensive watch sat on his wrist, something you hadn’t noticed before. His freckles are more visible up close, almost making him seem younger. Not that you knew his age to begin with. His freckles spread everywhere on his body, to his arms, to his hands; down to his chest and legs.

As you come back to reality, you watch his fingers come up to his shirt and slowly start undoing the buttons. Without thinking, you lean up and reach for them, ultimately moving his hands out of the way. He smirk never wavers as he watches you unbutton them, occasionally looking up at the taller man. Once you undo the last one, his shirt falls open and reveals a tone chest. His abs and pecs were defined as his v-line teases you, leading into the waistline of his pants. As you look down farther, you see a noticeable bulge in the fabric. As you go to reach your hand forward, he wraps his hand around your wrist forcefully.

“Did I say you could touch me?” His voice was strict, making you want to melt right into the floor. You look up at him and shake your head, too nervous to reply verbally. “Say it.”

“No, daddy.” It came out quiet, showing how you felt. His face didn’t change as he listened to you, letting go of your arm and grabbing your chin. He stares down at you with malice, his eyes filled with venom.

"Then why did you think you could touch daddy? I didn't give you permission, did I, Y/N?" He kept talking, his tone getting more and more disappointed. You shake your head as much as you were able to with his strong grip on your chin. "I want you to speak when I'm talking to you."

"No, daddy, you didn't give me permission. I'm sorry." You reply quickly, not willingly to see what he would do if you didn't. You felt pathetic bending over backwards for the man, but he somehow managed to wrap you tight around his finger in the short amount of time you've known him. If you could even say you knew him.

“Better.” He tapped your chin with his thumb before taking his hand away and pulling the bottom of his tucked in shirt out of his pants. He lets the soft fabric slide off his arms and onto the floor underneath him. As your eyes search over his upper body, they spot a small tattoo on his left bicep. It was a crescent moon, black ink filling in the drawing.

Your eyes look back at his, silently asking to touch him. He gives you a questioning look, furrowing his eyebrows for show. He knew what you wanted.

“Can I touch you, daddy?” Your hands itch to move forwards, begging you to move further. A smile graces his features, as one of his hands brushes through your hair gently.

“Of course, doll.” It was polite, the way he said it. It brought back your confidence as you reach your hands forward and press your palms on his toned abs. One stays there, occasionally inching up, as the other drifts down. His eyes never leave yours as you hand gets lower and lower, until you finally cup his crotch. His jaw tightens, showing the indent for a second before disappearing. Your other hand moves down as well, starting to work on his belt. Having to tear apart your eye contact with him, you look at his belt to try and undo it.

Once he notices your struggle, he chuckles and takes his free hand and undoes it quickly. He must have had practice. He brings it through the belt loops and lets it fall to the floor. It pained you to watch as you realized, up close, that it was an extremely expensive brand. His eyes analyze you closely, taking note of the glance towards his belt and then the way your eyes move back towards his pants.

“I’m rich, doll. I can buy that belt every day for a month and I’d still have enough to spoil you. Don’t get upset, daddy’ll make sure you get what you want.” His hand in your hair makes its way to the back of your head and rests there, pulling lightly at the end of his sentence. A moan escapes your lips at the sudden pressure, making him smirk.

His words made a shiver pass down your body, still trying to come to terms with the fact that you had a sugar daddy. His height was already intimidating, even more so as you sat by the end of the bed while he stood in front of you. His ginger hair stood out in the bland room, as well as his pale skin, in contrast with the small decorations and paintings that were spread across the long walls behind him.

You nod your head obediently, keeping eye contact with him as your hands move up and tease around his waistline. Your fingers slip under the top of his pants, hooking them inside and then pulling them out, letting it slap back against his waist once they fell from your fingers, copying his action from earlier. His face seems irritated as you tease him, growing more impatient by the second.

“Are you gonna be a good girl and suck daddy’s cock or you gonna sit there and be a fucking tease.” He says, his voice booming with demands. It seemed to be more of a statement than a question, sort of ordering you to do it and to not be tease.

His vulgar words sent a shiver through your body and straight to your core. His hand tugs on the back of your hair, your mouth opening slightly.

“I said I was gonna use that to my advantage, didn’t I, Y/N?” His stone cold face never falters, staring down at you with silent orders. You understand them and start to pull down his pants, leaving him in his matching black boxers. You can see the outline through the thin fabric, making you hesitant for a moment. He notices it and a smirk breaks through his serious facade. “What, don’t think you can take it? Why don’t you try, doll.” He says cockily, looking down at you with a smug expression.

You move forward and press teasing kisses along him, watching his jaw clench again. A small smile curves at your lips from his reaction, reaching your hands forward to rest on his thighs. Licking a small stripe in the same direction, blending in with the small wet patch that was already formed on the fabric from him.

“Fuck.” He pulls your hair tightly and tugs his boxers down, surprising you with his quick action. “Decided to be a fucking tease; didn’t your parents ever tell you that it wasn’t nice to keep people waiting?” His voice was deeper now, showing his desperation. He tugs your hair harder, opening your mouth wider. “Well, now your daddy will teach you what the consequences are.”

His hips move forwards and takes your open mouth to his disposal. You gag when he hits the back of your throat, digging your nails into his pale thighs violently. He moans, staying still and keeping his hand in your hair. His head leans back and his eyes close, taking in the first feeling of your mouth around him. When he feels a vibration against him, he groans and looks down at you. You wanted him to move, the uncomfortable position of him so far back in your throat starting to hurt you. He chuckles at your look of pain, but gives in and slowly moves his hips back. Taking in a deep breath through your nose, you gather yourself before moving against him.

His hand never leaves the back of your head, keeping a steady grip on your hair. He keeps his eyes on you as you try and take all of him, looking up at him and making heated eye contact. Your hand reaches up and wraps around what you couldn’t fit and strokes. His noises get louder, not caring about the amount of volume he has. His confidence made you move faster, wanting to try and break him.. not that you ever could.

“Fuck, you take me so well. You’re doing so good, baby.” His voice was raspy as he breathes heavily. The view you had was breathtaking, the way his abs clenched in front of your eyes, his arm muscles tightening whenever he’d pull your hair and the way his adams apple would bob when his eyes shut tight in pleasure and his mouth would open.

As you hollow your cheeks against him, a guttural moan escapes his mouth, sending your body ablaze. Muttering intelligible words under his breath, he looks back down at you watching every move you made. When he starts to breathe faster and pull your hair more, it shows you that he was getting close to his peak. Your free hand travels up to his v-line and traced your finger down it, adding a drag of your nail to his skin. The sudden sting against him makes him groan and start to move his hips. Suppressing your gag reflex, you let him thrust roughly, most likely bruising the back of your throat harshly. He holds you still with an aggressive grip to your hair, throat fucking you as fast and hard as he wanted.

Once your jaw starts to get tired, you feel his hips stutter and his lips part, letting out heavy breaths and a loud groan as he finishes. He freezes once he’s done and catches his breath before moving back slowly. When he pulls out, his hand lets go of your hair and cups under your jaw closing your mouth and making you swallow.

“You did so good for me, baby.” His eyes scan over your face, watching the tears that were in your eyes slowly fade away. “Lay back down, let daddy take care of you.” He slides his thumb along your jaw, helping you soothe the muscle.

You follow his directions, lying back on the bed once he lets you go. You’re still in your undergarments in contrast to the other man that was fully nude. He moves over you, his face hovering over yours. His freckles were more pronounced now, trailing a map around his face.

Your hand reaches up to cup the side of his face, slowly moving into his hair. The orange strands were soft, knots nonexistent as your fingers traveled through it. He leans down and captures your lips, bringing you into a slow but passionate kiss. One of his forearms holds him up by the side of your head while his right hand travels down your body, hooking his finger in your underwear. He pulls it down your legs, never breaking away from the heated kiss. Once he throws the fabric somewhere neither of you cared for, he breaks away but stays just inches away from your lips.

The same hand reaches under your back and undoes your bra, having to arch off of the bed for him to do so. You take your hand away from him and let the garment fall off of your arms and repeat the same action as him and throwing it somewhere in the spacious room.

He leans back down and kiss you, immediately slipping his tongue into your mouth. As you two make out, his hand surprises you when it travels up your body and grips your breast in his palm. A moan interrupts the kiss as he smiles at your reaction. He pulls away and starts teasing your neck with kisses. He sucks down on a certain spot, your breath hitching in your throat. He notices and smiles, sucking in a deep mark.

His hand reaches down and takes your thigh and wraps your leg around his waist. He feel him against you already, surprised at his stamina.

“How bad do you want it, Y/N?” He whispers hotly into your ear. He knew just how to make you shiver.

“So bad, daddy.” Your hand comes back up to his hair again, settling into his vibrant locks. You knew he loved the name, a flash of something going through his eyes every time you said it.

“C’mon, you can do better than that.” He stares down at you, never once losing his dominant position. Your breathing picks up as you listen to him, getting more and more desperate as more time passes.

“Please, daddy. I need it; I need you. I need to feel you inside me, please.” The begging comes out of your mouth on instinct, too far into his little game to back out now. He wastes no time as soon as he hears those words, moving inside you with a thrust of his hips. You cry out, feeling the pain first. Your hand tugs harshly on his hair, making him groan in response. He lets you adjust for a couple seconds, before moving inside you quickly. Pain slowly turns into pleasure as he never relents, letting you feel him deep inside.

Both of you breathe heavily, his expensive headboard hitting back against the wall painfully. It’s definitely going to leave a mark on the wall, not that he cared.

The hand that was on your thigh travels up your body and presses down on your lower stomach. “You feel that?” His tone is breathy, but it’s stable enough to leave goosebumps on your skin. He takes your free hand and moves it to where his once was and puts pressure down. “That’s me, baby. Filling you so good, fucking you so deep.”

Moans leave your lips as his words get dirtier, not being able to keep them in. “Let me here ya. I wanna hear how good I’m fucking you.” Louder moans leave your throat, per his command. His hand flies back down to your thigh, grabbing his tightly and digging his short nails into your skin.

“You close, Y/N? I can feel you squeezing me so tight- fuck.” A groan leaves him as he talks, feeling a knot tightening inside him. You nod eagerly, too focused on the way you were feeling than letting words form in your mind. “C’mon, doll. You can come, baby, it’s okay.” His permission was all you needed as your body shook lightly and you reach your peak. Back arching as you finish, you feel him still and hold you tightly as he follows quickly behind you.

Your body feels tired as you calm down, taking your hand away and letting go of the tight grip you had on his hair. He takes a second before pulling out and laying down beside you. You look up at the ceiling as you try to catch your breathing. His hand falls down on his chest as he looks over at you. Once his body relaxes, he moves up and sets his arm down to rest his temple on his hand. He’s positioned on his side to look at you. The muscles in his arms are more visible, quickly catching your eye.

His free hand reaches out to move a stray strand of hair that fell in your face when you looked over at him. “How much do you want tonight, doll?” His voice is soft, almost blending in with the comforting silence that filled the vast room.

Realization hits you like a brick, remembering why you were here in the first place. His hand slowly shifts down to your neck, resting gently on your throat. “Um.. well,” Your mind goes blank, in disbelief that he was true to his word. He laughs gently, before getting up from the bed and putting on his boxers. He walks over to the desk that you saw when you first walked in and opened a drawer, picking out a wallet that was inside. It wasn’t the same kind that he used when you both were at the bar; a different texture and color, and it obviously wasn’t in his pants.

You sit up immediately once you see stacks of bills inside, bringing your knees up to rest your feet on the soft bed. He picks some out, closes the wallet and stuffs it back inside the drawer. Walking back over to you with the green papers in his hands, he stands in front of the bed with a smile on his face.

“How ‘bout this for now?” He spreads them out in his fingers, showing you the several $100 bills. You sit in shock for a moment, before moving over to the end of the bed and reaching out for them. Before you could grab them, he pulls his hand away. “What do you say?”

Your body heats up in embarrassment at his words. “Thank you, daddy.” He smiles and hands them over to you.

“Good girl.” He leans down and kisses your head and then moves around the bed to lie back down.

Your fingers glide over the soft material, trying to decipher if it was real or not. You hear a chuckle from behind you, catching your attention. You look back as your eyes travel over his long body. His arms are stretched above his head as his hands are resting behind it, his muscles on full display. His abs were shown as he stretches out and his long legs traveled down the bed. His black boxers were dark in comparison to his pale skin, standing out in the bright comforter sitting underneath him.

“They’re real, doll. Do you really think I’d give you fake money when I live in a place like this?” He smiles cockily. You narrow your eyes at him playfully.

“Who knows? Maybe this was all just a ploy to get me in your bed.” You say with a teasing smile and started to crawl over to him. He laughs at your fake accusation, taking one arm from under his head and wrapping it around your shoulder once you lie down next to him. He brings you close to his body, making you rest your head on his chest.

“Maybe I should’ve thought of that before.” He says jokingly, laughing harder at the slap at his chest he earned. “C’mon, go to bed, sweetheart.” He whispers in your ear, sending a chill down your spine. You’re shocked that he’s inviting you to stay with him.

His other hand removes itself from behind his head as well, moving it down your side. He takes your thigh in his grasp before putting it over his waist to rest there. Your eyes relax as time passes, not realizing when you finally shut them.

Guess you’re falling asleep at your new sugar daddy’s house..

As soon as your eyes flutter open, you panic.

Looking around quickly, trying to figure out where the long, pale walls came from. You push yourself up with your hands, rubbing your eyes as you try to come back to reality. No one else was in the messy bed with you, the sheets and comforter thrown around and wrinkled. Noticing the money that sat next to you, everything hit you at once.

The man at the bar.

You sit still for a little bit, in shock that you followed a stranger to his car and then let him bring you to his own house. Though you weren’t exactly upset with the night you got out of it..

Looking back over at the money, a small white piece of paper caught your eye. It sat on a black bedside table, letting it stand out. You reach for it, curious to know if it was for you.

Hello, Y/N. I have a feeling you are probably freaked out right now, which is fine. I’m sure you already know how I feel about you, and what my intentions are, as I’m sure that I understand yours as well.

I’ve gone out for a little while, but I should be home some time soon after you read this. Feel free to explore the house, get something to eat, etc. What I have is yours now and you are mine. Be ready for when I get home, doll.

Yours,

Daddy ;)

Your heart beats fast as you finish reading the note. Did you fully understand what you were getting yourself into? You weren’t sure.

You look up from the paper, noticing the curtains covering the windows. When you step off the bed, you’re hit with a gust of wind that made you realize that you weren’t wearing anything. Quickly, you search around to where your clothes might have gotten thrown the night before. Once you find your undergarments, you put them on and stare down at the winkled dress that lie on the floor. You debate on it, before walking over to his closet doors.

They could’ve passed off as large bedroom doors, taking up a vast variety of the wall. You weren’t sure how you missed it last night, but you weren’t surprised from how entranced you were with the man that had took you home.

You hesitate as your hands perch themselves on the door handles, silently wondering to yourself if this was an invasion of privacy. “What I have is yours now,” His letter repeats in your head.

Before delving too deep in your thoughts, you quickly turn the knobs and pull it open. Frozen still, your eyes scan the large room that’s full with different sort of hangers with various types of clothing. Slowly, you take steps inside, almost as if you were trying to be secretive about it. What if he never left? What if he was downstairs right now and waiting for you?

Trying to push the thoughts out of your mind, you walk around a corner to your right. Clothes align the sides of the wall, no empty space in sight. As soon as your eyes land on a dark piece of fabric, you reach for it before it could drowns in the other pool of clothes.

It was a pair of long basketball shorts and, even though it wasn’t your size, you took them quickly so you didn’t have to walk around almost nude. Immediately after, you find another normal shirt, slipping it on fast and then making your way out incase he were to come home and find you in his closet.

Twisting the doorknob on his bedroom door, you peak your head out before opening the door fully. The house was in the same shape as it was last night; no dust, no markings, no piles of clothes. It was cleaned to a T. You wondered if he had a maid.

As you step foot outside the room, you leave his door open just incase you had to make a run for it and grab the money. Before you left the room, you made sure you had your phone with you, hanging in the oversized pocket in his shorts that you were wearing.

The entire house was silent as you walked down the steps, still trying to be as cautious as ever. You still weren’t sure how safe you were, especially that you remembered not seeing any sign of houses or paths outside of the palace last night. Once your foot hits the ground floor, you let go of the railing and keep walking into the main area.

You step through different sorts of doorways, slowly confusing yourself into the mesh of rooms. As soon as you make it to the kitchen, you stand by the counter and lean on it. Making eye contact with the fridge, your feet quickly leads you toward it.

“Feel free to explore the house, get something to eat, etc.” The letter repeats itself again, clouding your brain. Without hesitating now, you grab a carton of milk that was inside and search through each cabinet to find any sort of cereal that hid inside. Taking a bowl that you found from a different one, you pour the cereal inside and mix it with the liquid.

As you eat, the last part of his sentence stood out. “What I have is yours now and you are mine.” Your heart beat starts to pick up as the last three words repeat over and over again in your head. You are his. It was stated almost like you didn’t have a choice. You weren’t a hundred percent sure what else he truly wanted from you. Yeah, you both had a good time last night, but is that what he wanted every time you needed money? You couldn’t say you were exactly opposed to the idea given how attractive the man was, but it still felt weird.

“Be ready for when I get home, doll.” His last sentence that he wrote with a black pen, seeming to be a reoccurrence with that color, was just as odd. Did he want you to dress up for him? What was he expecting when he got home?

Noticing that all of the cereal was gone from the bowl, you take it to the sink and wash it just incase. You really didn’t want to upset him, especially with the fact that he was willing to let you stay at his house and pay you. You also weren’t exactly sure what he was capable of.

Trying to get rid of the anxiety inducing thoughts, you take deep breaths and try to find your way back to the large staircase. Once you follow your footsteps and are met with the tall white stairs, you run up them. Making your way to his door, it was the only one open, giving you a glimpse of what was inside. You walk through the doorway and scan the room. Silently asking yourself what you wanted to do, your feet take you over to your messed up dress and pick it up. Folding it subconsciously, you rest it on the top of the desk near the bed. Going through your options, you pick up the money that he gave to you and put it on top, slowly moving all of your stuff together. Once you stand back in front of the bed, you look over the room to try and find anything else. Before you could finish, you hear a creak by the door.

“Are you leaving already?”

You spin around quickly, heart racing at the sudden voice. The man from the bar stands there, resting up against the door ledge. He has a bag in his hand, failing to hide it behind him. He has a faint smirk on his face as he gets up from his leaning position and slowly walks over to you. As you stand still, almost frozen in position, you wait to see what he says next.

“I told you that I wasn’t gonna be gone for too long in that note.. and i’m sure you read it. I got something for you, baby.” He notices your tense body language, looking up at him with a neutral expression. “You don’t have to be scared, doll. I’m the same man I was last night..” His free hand reaches up and holds your chin gently. He leans down, “And I’m still your daddy.” Goosebumps prickle your skin, whether it was his close proximity or his words that filled your mind.

He laughs softly before pulling away and bringing the bag in front of him. He moves his hand forward a couple inches, signaling for you to take it. “Here, it’s yours.” Reaching forward and taking the bag hoops in your hands, you turn around and put it on the bed to open it. He stands close behind you, surprising you when you feel his hands on your hips. “I see that you got into my closet.” He whispers into your hair, just inches away from your ear. You swallow dryly, nodding. “You look cute.” One of his hands moves up and tucks a piece of hair behind your ear. Your body heats up at the action, already going down a deeper spiral than you were last night.

Reaching into the bag, your hand touches a certain fabric and pulls it out. Sitting in your hands is a black, lace lingerie set. It was two pieces, a bra and underwear that garters were attached to. Your body felt like it was on fire as you observed the sheer clothing, not quite noticing his left hand slide up (his) your shirt.

“Why don’t ya put it on, baby?” His voice is raspy in your ear. His words make you give in to the situation, slowly coming to the conclusion that you just wanted to please him. “Daddy wants to see your new set, princess.” His other hand squeezes your thigh, before slapping it. Your breathing picks up as you finally tear your eyes away from the lingerie in your hands and up to him. Your head turns to look at him, noticing a defined glint in his eye. It excited you, giving you more reason to follow his orders.

When you start to move, he takes his hands off of you and watches you walk into the bathroom that was connected to his room. You give him a teasing smile before you close the door, quickly changing out of the big clothes and figuring out how to fit the bra on and click the garters together.

Once you’re finished, you look up at the mirror that was above the sink. The lingerie was tight, showing off every curve and mark on your skin. Before you could dwell on any of it, you reach for the doorknob and turn it. You were anxious for his reaction, not realizing how quickly you fit into the role of being his.

He sat on the edge of the bed, eyes immediately darting to you once he hears the door open. His legs are spread as he rests his elbows on them, until he leans up and brushes his hands up to his thighs when he sees you.

“Fuck, Y/N.” His voice was low, vulnerably showing his need for you. Green eyes rake up and down your body, taking in the sight before him. He sat speechless as he never once took his eyes away from you.

Confidence started to fill you as you walked over to him, standing between his legs and resting your hands on his shoulders. His palms reach out and dig into your hips, almost on instinct. They slowly shift down to your thighs, squeezing the flesh before bringing you closer to him. Your chest stood inches away from his face, both of you at the position where you were taller than him as he sat down. He didn’t want that.

Suddenly, he stands back up and towers over you. Having to look up at him, his hands never leave your body. His green eyes are demanding as he keeps heated eye contact with you. His right hand reaches up and wraps around your throat. You take a sharp breath in, making him smile.

“Get on the bed for me.” He demands, his grip never letting go. Before he could let you go, he leans down closer to you. “On all fours, ass up.” His other hand trails up and squeezes your ass, making you freeze. His stone cold expression is back as he lets go and watches you scramble to get on the bed.

It felt sort of humiliating to have a man like him tell you what to do and for you to follow it so obediently. He doesn’t seem to mind as his eyes never leave your body, inspecting every move you made. He followed behind you once you situated yourself on the bed, resting on your forearms as your knees were doing the same. You feel the empty space behind you being filled as the ginger stood there, his hands reaching out to lay on your thighs. One of his hands travels up and lands on your ass, squeezing it before slapping down harshly. Your body jolts at the sudden action as a moan leaves your now parted lips. You could practically feel the smirk on his face, even with your back turned.

“You like that, baby? You like it when daddy spanks you?” The same hand smacks down harder, forcing your fingers to grip the satin sheets underneath them.

“Yes, daddy.” Your voice was already breathless, just the two slaps already taking the air out of you.

You hear him hum behind you, slowly nodding his head. His other hand moves up and rests on your ass as well, but not making any quick movements against you. The abuse on your skin already made it hot to touch, his slaps having enough force to make you flinch.

His right hand reaches down and slides a finger inside your underwear and through your slit. “Fuck, you really are enjoying this.” It seemed to be more of a mindless statement, more to himself. You feel your face get hot at his words, feeling like you were caught doing something you shouldn’t. “Do you like the pain, Y/N?” You could hear the smirk in his voice as he talks cockily. Without thinking, you nod your head as a response. He takes that as a green light and smacks his hand back down on to you. Moaning louder this time, your back arches against the bed and your mouth opens in silent pleasure.

Your knuckles turn white as you grasp the sheets, feeling like your fingers were about to fall off. His slaps never relaxed as he would alter between spanking you and squeezing the skin to irritate it more.

Once you visibly flinch when his fingers touch your skin after, he notices the way you breathe heavily once he’s done. His smile never fades as he watches you. “You take it so well, doll. I’m so proud of you.” His words only manage to make you more wet than you already were.

A whine escapes your throat as you try and move backwards slightly. He understands the motion and harshly undoes the garters, rolling them down and off your legs. Running his big hands up them once they’re off, goosebumps follow his pale palms. A gasp fills the once silent room after you hear a loud tear behind you.

He just ripped your underwear open.

“Sorry, baby. You know I’ll get ya new ones.” He throws away the broken fabric behind him, his number one priority being you. Leaning down, he pressed teasing kisses to your lower back, occasionally going higher just to make you more desperate. He chuckles against your skin when you push back against him, digging his nails into your thighs. “Patience, sweetheart.” Fuck, you felt like his words could make you come alone.

His fast actions never fail to surprise you, especially when he suddenly licks up your slit. He has an arrogant smile that covered his lips, feeling pride in the fact he makes you feel good. Taking a couple more seconds to taste you, he pulls away once his fingers take over. Going back to kneeling on the bed, he looks down at you while his fingers spread you out. Letting one circle around your clit makes your breath hitch, automatically catching the man’s attention. He presses down harder and motions faster, watching your body move against him. He stops abruptly once he sees you nearing your edge, smiling devilishly when he hears you groan.

“I wanna fuck you, baby; I had to get’cha ready.” His voice cuts through the room, taking up all of the space. His left hand rests on your lower back as he takes his dick in his hand and positions himself directly behind you. “You want it, Y/N? You wanna feel me inside you?”

“Yes, daddy, please.” Your voice was broken as you begged, feeling desperate for any sort of contact with him. There was a faint laugh behind you, but at this point, you didn’t even care enough to feel embarrassed. You wanted him, needed him.

“There’s my good girl.” Thrusting forward quickly, he moves inside you perfectly. Screaming at the sudden movement and the harsh treatment, your eyes shut tight and your mouth stays open. He stays still for a moment, letting you get used to the way he felt. Once he felt it took long enough, he moved back to the point where his tip was just barely inside you before pushing his hips forward and moving completely inside. Your hands gripped the sheets again, only tighter this time.

As he kept moving, the same hand as earlier reached up and spanked you again, in the same spot. Only adding to the immense pleasure, slowly overwhelming your body with different sensations.

Incoherent words escape your mouth as he hits the perfect spot inside you. His abs clench as he thrusts forward, his arm muscles tightening as he holds your hips in a firm grip. His hand moved fast as it smacked back down against you, your back arching in an immediate response.

“You’re doing so good. Can feel you- fuck! Can feel you squeezing me so tight.” His voice is strained as he talks, noticing how much closer you get to releasing each second. His words push you farther as the stiff knot inside your stomach gets more strained. “Don’t you wanna come for your daddy? Wanna make me feel so good..?” His breathing picks up as he rambles, his eyes getting heavier.

The intense sound of skin slapping skin fills the vast room, pervading your ears. You inhale sharply when you feel a hand wrap around the front of your throat and pulling you up to meet his toned front. The new angle hits the both of you right, making you both moan loudly. His hand grips your neck tighter as his heavy breathing and groans fill your ear. Digging your nails into the arm of his other hand that reached over to rub your clit, quickly pushing you closer and closer to your release.

“C’mon, doll. Come for me, come for your daddy.” That was all you needed. You felt like you could see stars as your eyes close, taking in the intense pleasure that invaded your body. Leaning your head back subconsciously, hitting his shoulder.

As he feels you clenching around him tighter, it makes the knot in his stomach come loose. He groans as he calms down, his chest heaving slightly. You both stay in the same position for a moment, before taking a deep breath and letting him pull out.

“You did so good, Y/N. You’re such a good girl for me.” He whispers in your ear and then kisses your head. The sweet attention he gives you makes your face heat up, almost as if you both weren’t having heated sex just seconds before. He lets go of the grip he had on your neck and watched you lean down on the bed. You lie down on the messy blankets, trying to get your breathing right. As you calm down you feel the bed dip beside you and you see the bright orange hair in the corner of your eye.

“You’re gonna be so fuckin’ spoiled.” You look over at him as he stares up at the ceiling. You laugh softly at his words making him look over at you. He smiles and hovers over you. Without thinking, he leans down and presses his lips against yours. He smirks against your now swollen lips, “Round two?”

Today was gonna be a long day..

#cameron monaghan #cameron monaghan x reader #jerome valeska #jerome valeska x reader #jeremiah valeska #jeremiah valeska x reader #jerome x reader #cameron monaghan smut #jerome valeska smut #jeremiah valeska smut

469 notes · View notes