#i tried a new rendering style and bro it WORKED

[sun-marie]

✨Self-rec tag game ✨

I was tagged by @glamfellens​ for this very cool reflection challenge! This is a super fun one, thank you for tagging me!

Rules: Share five of your own fanworks (fic, art, etc.). Then, tag five more people to share the things they’ve made.

1) Something you absolutely adore

Dimitri and Byleth is such a tender pair for me, and I'm a really big fan of the softness of this piece 🥺 Plus, since it's a redraw, I really enjoy it as a marker of my artistic improvement 💗

2) Something that was challenging to create

This one had a lot going on before I made the decision to render it in a lineless style. Posing four characters full bodies, having them interact with each other believably, creating appealing and in-character post-canon designs, having dynamic lighting... and then when I was almost done I had thought of "what if I tried that rendering thing I see other artists do" which added another solid two days to the time spent on this piece 😅 In my humble opinion, though, it was worth it, and I still consider this one of my most impressive pieces!

3) Something that makes you laugh/smile

I drew this little series off the heels of my New Year's resolution to "draw more silly", which I was struggling with bc the first one was def supposed to be a little goofier, but it actually came out looking very serene. And then one morning my dog jumped into my bed and woke me up by sitting on my face 😂 It reminded me a lot of Declan the Mabari and I wondered how Fenris would take to a dog sitting on him in the morning haha

4) Something that surprised you

I still look at this one some times and am just like,,,, bro how did I do that. I think it's like one of my Top 3 kisses I've drawn, and I'm still shocked at how good the colors came out (I've actually come to the realization with this that black hair is really fun to color in bright environments bc it's so reflective 👀)

5) Something you want other people to see

A pretty recent one, but one I'm really really proud of! The BG3 brainrot is real :')

I think I'll tag @thefife01, @hajima-7, @stereotypedebunker, @hanpaopaoo, and @iubworks! I'd love to see some of y'all's favorite works! No pressure though of course! (especially if you've already been tagged in this haha 😅)

[framecaught]

Cataloguing Homestuck’s Art Styles

Hussie deploys a number of distinct art styles throughout Homestuck, each serving different purposes in the narrative. A number of these, especially those mentioned in the published book series’ author commentary, have been catalogued in the Homestuck wiki [1]. These officially named styles are well-known enough to appear in quora answers. However, Homestuck employs a much larger variety of stylistic manipulations than explicitly mentioned in the book commentary or wiki. While scanning through the comic again for this project, I wanted to catalogue the rest of them! 

This post constitutes a working list of all distinct art styles present in Homestuck. I’ve chosen not to include the distinct styles of the fanartists/outside artists who contributed to the comic; that will be a project for another day. As far as I know, this list only comprises the different styles Hussie develops throughout the comic. I have tried to bring a degree of specific formal analysis (also known as art-historical language) into my description of each style.

1. “Classic” Style

Page 1 of Homestuck

Page 1349 of Homestuck

Page 4227 of Homestuck

The “Classic” Homestuck style appears on the first page of the comic. Although not officially described by the wiki, it is widely understood as the comic’s typical graphic norm. Characters have simplified faces and clothes, and they frequently lack arms. Elements are often outlined in a black stroke, especially to differentiate them from other adjacent, similarly-colored elements. In more colorful panels, scenery may be made up of solid blocks with bright colors. Sprites (base character illustrations) and elements are repurposed from panel to panel in new combinations. Homestuck even takes up the repurposing of sprites as a gag, as in page 1349 above where the ability to flip one’s sprite allows Noir to regain his lost wrist barcode.

This style obviously shares characteristics with Hussie’s style in Problem Sleuth. General characteristics that frequently appear in Hussie’s art are present, such as circular faces and rounded edges on quadrilaterals. The Classic Style umbrella actually covers the broadest range of visuals out of any style catalogued here. The uber-simplistic sprites, such as John on page 1, have typically been lumped in with, for example, the illustration on the cover of Homestuck Book 1, or the two other examples I pulled for this post. So, in the Classic Style, characters can sometimes appear with arms, sometimes without, and in outfits of varying detail, but they retain the same facial features and simplistic quality. The circular facial shape is especially characteristic of this style, along with the lack of a neck. The neck-less quality, static poses, and simplistic detail chiefly differentiate some instances of Classic Style from Hero Mode, though there are still some grey areas.

2. Scribble Mode

Page 1931 of Homestuck

Page 1937 of Homestuck

Page 1798 of Homestuck

Page 3140 of Homestuck

This style is recognized by the Homestuck wiki, which describes it as emphasizing “a particularly silly/stupid moment in the story, particularly those to be imagined by a character.” That is to say, this style often denotes imagined scenarios which do not actually occur in the comic but instead in a character’s imagination, and especially those which form the butt of jokes. It is also employed simply to highlight silliness. This style is constructed to appear as if the author has “scribbled” rapidly between the outlines of forms to fill in color, creating gaps in those forms. Generally, strokes are made to seem more careless, and less detail is used. While the style is meant to mimic a scribbling motion, it does not always end up crude or parodic. For example, in this “charming vignette” (in Hussie’s words) depicting the Mayor’s dream, the scribble style actually illustrates a remarkably beautiful and almost impressionistic series of panels. Although the dream vignette has certain obvious scribbley elements and certainly depicts an imagined scenario, I would argue that it combines aspects of both Scribble Mode and Hussnasty Mode (#4 in this post) throughout.

I have also identified two distinct styles within the Scribble Mode umbrella. One always uses a thin, apparently single-pixel-wide black line to outline forms, while the other uses a thicker stroke for both its filling and outline. You can see the difference between these in the four examples I’ve pulled; they are sometimes even combined within one single Scribble Mode panel.

3. Hero Mode

Page 1815 of Homestuck

Page 2063 of Homestuck

Hero Mode was officially named as such by Hussie. The Homestuck wiki page describes it as cropping up to “emphasize a particularly epic moment in the story.” Hussie originally called the style “action panels” before hitting upon the current name, emphasizing the link to action scenes and dynamic poses. Along with dynamic posing, characters are drawn in greater detail and tend to have elongated limbs. Some crossover can be seen between Hero Mode and Hussnasty Mode. I would argue that characters in Hero Mode usually retain the original style’s characteristic lack of a neck, while Hussnasty Mode often adds one. Compared with the Classic style, Hero Mode always adds arms. The degree to which Hero Mode drawings include the “hatching-type effect” characteristic of Hussnasty Mode varies from panel to panel. The difference between Hero Mode and Classic Mode can be observed clearly on these two pages, where Damara shifts between the two styles at the behest of Scratch, who asks her to “render [herself] in a more symbolic manner.”

The wiki asserts that “Hero Mode dispenses with the black outline that typifies sprite-style animation and scribble mode,” but I don’t think it can actually be characterized as the only lineless style. Scribble Mode and Hussnasty Mode also sometimes feature a lineless graphic style depending on which part of a character is being depicted, or the need for a line to differentiate two features of a similar color. A willingness to move between lined and lineless blocks of color characterizes Hussie’s art as a whole.

4. Hussnasty Mode

Page 2805 of Homestuck

Page 2976 of Homestuck

This art style is also named by the author. In his commentary on page 2805, he writes: “Someone asked me what I called the style, and I replied by naming it "Hussnasty Mode" myself, because well… it's a bit nasty, isn't it? Kind of raw, a little over-illustrated, and making use of a lot of jagged aliased pixel edges for a hatching-type effect. It was sort of the point to make it a little nasty, kind of aggressively incongruous with the other styles previously established.” This quote sums up the style’s characteristics pretty well. Hussie also describes how this style is more naturalistic, or less symbolic, and was meant to work in direct contrast to the extremely symbolic RPG Sprite Mode. He writes that “drawings like this are introduced in contrast with this simple RPG sprite mode, which was also established very recently as something that Homestuck was "allowed" to use as a stylistic presentation of characters and settings… Every time HS does something like this, it's widening its own umbrella in terms of what it's allowed to do stylistically, which includes dramatically simplifying and abstracting its forms. Which implicitly asks another question: Can HS "allow" itself to go in the other direction? To render characters with higher degrees of definition, regardless of congruity, and freely navigate this full artistic palette at any time, resulting in sharp stylistic contrast and a certain amount of visual thrashing? The answer to that question, almost immediately after it's asked in the form of dropping RPG-sprite Rose into a standard panel shot, is yes, HS can do that, and clearly it WILL do that.”

5. RPG Sprite Mode

Page 2804 of Homestuck

Page 2824 of Homestuck

Despite being officially described by the author, RPG Sprite Mode hasn’t gained much representation as a distinct style (it does not have a wiki page, for example). This style appears after Homestuck’s first walk-around game, now incorporated as a style for static or gif panels. After their joint introduction, this style is juxtaposed against the Hussnasty style. The quotes pulled above in the section on Hussnasty Mode nicely describe the contrast between these two styles and their greater impact on Homestuck’s graphic norms. RPG Sprite Mode always shows characters from an aerial view, mimicking the style of the first walk-around game, which in turn mimics a wealth of RPG sprite games (such as the original Pokemon games). Sprites from these sorts of early games can be characterized by their almost pointillistic use of individual pixels to carefully construct forms.

6. Terezi’s Perspective

Page 2756 of Homestuck

Page 2128 of Homestuck

This style hasn’t been officially described yet. It only crops up as a representation of Terezi’s perspective, conveying some of her experience tasting and smelling colors. While it only appears a few times in the comic, I think it is uniquely visually interesting, and it includes “blurring” techniques which are only rarely employed in the rest of the comic. I’d guess that the effect is created by layering low-opacity strokes over one another and then sliding the different layers’ opacity up and down.

7. SBAHJ Style

Page 8 of Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff

Page 3451 of Homestuck

The SBAHJ comic, featured both within Homestuck and as a spin-off, has its own recognizable style. In the first few pages it has a lot of commonalities with Homestuck’s two versions of Scribble Mode, but later takes on distinct characteristics. It can be characterized in part by its image clipping, an effect where an element is made to look like it has been selected within a square box (in MS Paint or Photoshop) and dragged around the page with little care for the size and accuracy of the selection box. Commenting on page 3451, Hussie describes this effect as follows: “In the SBaHJ comics, one of my cool tactics—which I'm almost positive I invented as a sequential artist—was to elaborately render someone ‘turning around’ by taking one shot of them and gradually altering the pose by crudely rectangle-selecting pieces of their face and nudging them around until they're facing the other way in a totally unconvincing and utterly hideous manner.” Different from Scribble Mode, the SBAHJ style also frequently features blocks of color that appear to be filled with the “paint bucket” tool. When the paint bucket tool is used to fill anti-aliased stokes, it creates a small transparent space between the filling and the original outline, visible in the SBAHJ graphics. Finally, SBAHJ comes to include image compression and glitching, created through “deep frying” compression techniques. Overall, the breadth of manipulative techniques made apparent to the viewer in SBAHJ is much greater than any other style. SBAHJ panels are reproduced wholesale or hyperlinked in Homestuck, but on these two pages Gamzee is also drawn in the SBAHJ style.

8. Caliborn’s Styles

Page 5075 of Homestuck (hyperlinked in pesterlog)

Page 6259 of Homestuck

Page 6929 of Homestuck

Page 6864 of Homestuck

While Calliope’s in-world art was contributed by Shelby Cragg, Hussie gives Caliborn has three styles of his own. The first is his “angular” style, which Calliope aptly characterizes on page 5109 as containing “inscrutable squiggles” and demonstrating a “penchant for arbitrary, completely baffling straight lines and right angles, almost as if trying unsuccessfully to begin constructing a grid.” The second is the style he uses in Homosuck, which retains elements of his original “baffling right angles” but generally takes on the black outlines characteristic of Homestuck’s Classic style, while employing even cruder detail. Finally, after reading a “How to Draw Manga” book, he develops his “manga” style which uses black strokes, somewhat messy coloring (usually with the paint-bucket tool), and shows an attempt at naturalistic representation despite a complete lack of understanding of human anatomy. This style is specifically meant to emulate manga styles, so it features the characteristic white dots as highlights in the eyes, among other features.

————————————————————————

As becomes apparent through Hussie’s commentary, the different art styles employed in Homestuck do more than just emphasize certain moments; they form part of the comic’s visual language and ask us to question our understanding of graphic representation. The scope of this post also illustrates the attention paid to Homestuck’s visual elements throughout the story’s production and within its readership, even if these visual distinctions have received less attention in scholarship. Despite the variety of styles, we can see Hussie’s characteristic artistic tools, techniques, and sensibilities reflected across the comic. 

If you find any styles recurring in the comic that I haven’t mentioned here, feel free to shoot me a message! Again, I haven’t included styles from other contributors; only those developed and drawn by Hussie.

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As we approach the close of the semester, I’ll probably be putting out one more post sometime soon! If you liked this post, you can follow the blog on tumblr for updates or, if you don’t frequent tumblr, sign up for the mailing list to receive an email whenever I publish a new mini-essay!

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[1] These include Hussnasty Mode, Scribble Mode, and Hero Mode.

[maggyoutthere]

It's funny how I'm actually putting effort on this. I'm putting actual effort on a shitpost.

Anyways I said I'd write a bad sonic creepypasta so here it is. Here's the catch: I like how its turning out so imma make it a 2-pary story. This is the first part. It doesn't have any scary shit but it has the basics for a shitty creepypasta: someone gets a old pirated/unreleased/defective game and tries them out despite getting warned that bad shit might happen.

Again I'm not a fluent English speaker so expect some grammar error and stuff like that ._.,

So ladies, gentlemen and non-bis, I present to you-

Sonic: Battle of Metal and Blood (Part 1)

Synopsis: Teen gets nostalgic mid-quarentine and starts playing old Sonic games. She asks for some cheat codes and shit happens.

So for context; I'm a 17 year old girl stuck home because of quarantine.

It had been 4 or 5 months since the virus sent everyone home. Students were playing Animal Crossing and DOOM all day to fill in the summer hours since no one could go outside. I never liked going to the beach so I was never really bothered by it.

Like many people, I found myself going back in time to easier phases of my life. I was rewatching old cartoon shows from my childhood, getting into MCR and P!ATD and just living in pure nostalgia. I also started getting into gaming again, even going to the point of setting up my Wii again just to play Epic Mickey, but I didn't exactly grow up with the Wii. I was more of a Playstation kid, so much that me and my bro got a Playstation 2 from our cousin when he eventually bought the 3rd one for himself.

My cousin was older than us; I remember him being 16 or 17 when I was like 12, so he was kind of our gaming hero. If there was a level in Crash Bandicoot we couldn't beat, we'd call my cousin and he'd do it in 15 minutes. He knew all the cheat codes, all the secret levels and extra content for the games he had; he was like a genius to me and my lil bro, so when he gave us his old Playstation 2 and games me and my sibling knew we were in for a treat.

We got this Sonic Gems Collection for the Playstation 2 from him. It's like a port of various older Sonic games like Sonic CD, Sonic The Fighters, Sonic R and so on. I grew up playing that game, especially Sonic The Fighters since I wasn't very good at the racing games.

I still had a working controller and a lot of free time so I asked my bro for help setting up the console. The thing was so dusty I was actually scared it wasn't going to work. We clicked the power button and the light on the console turned on. Me and my brother held our breaths as we put the DVD in the console and crossed our fingers. As the screen lit up with the SEGA logo and music started playing, I just hugged him and cheered. He set up the console in my room so I could play without having to go to his room (he was the one keeping all the electronic stuff) and told me to have fun.

I didn't even know where to start. There was so much I wanted to play now that I actually knew what I was doing. I thought about starting with my favourite one out of the bunch: Sonic CD. I'm a sucker for the retro 2D pixel games so that was a must. It was better than what I remembered; the music was so catchy and the art style was vibrant and it stood out from a lot of games nowadays that go for a washed out "hyper realistic" look.

As I kept playing, I eventually reached the level where Amy tags along with Sonic for a while before Metal Sonic bursts through a wall and kidnaps her. Oh yeah, Metal Sonic was a thing. I remembered him from Sonic R and Sonic The Fighters - and the fact he was in the fucking cover art of the DVD case. I absolutely loved the fucker in the games though. He had a cool design, and the idea of the villain being a copy of the hero gone wrong was so interesting to me at the time.

I ended up passing the level and even making it to Stardust Speedway. I was sweating since I'd never come this far at any game. My bro was there cheering me as I tried not falling on spikes or getting hit by Metal Sonic's attacks. I ended up making it till the end on top, but it was kinda sad seeing Metal crash face-first against the door like that.

I was done with that for a while, so I went ahead and played Sonic R and Sonic The Fighters for nostalgia. Again, the fucker was there, either as a boss or as an unlockable character. I ended up noticing how there were a bunch of games missing. There were empty grayed slots with question marks instead of the game titles. I couldn't understand if the game was broken or if there was something I was supposed to do, so I called my cousin in hope he would somewhat tell me what to do. He ended up explaining how the game made you complete all the other games to unlock new ones. I thought that was kinda stupid so I asked him if he had any cheat codes or something to make the whole thing available. He told me he was going to dig up his old stuff and ring me again if he found anything.

A few hours later, he sent me a message telling me he'd found something that should work. He told me he did have a cheat code but he thought it was best if I didn't do it. Here's the transcript from his message.

"There's something that might work but it's kinda weird. I got this memory card from a friend of mine and he said this should unlock all the hidden contents within the disc, but when I tried it some weird shit started happening. Most of the sonic games were unplayable no matter how many times I restarted the console or cleaned the disc. There should be an extra game slot but that's just a glitch. Something about the system trying to make up storage for the extra code. Just don't click on anything that looks like a glitch and you should be golden"

Well that was a bit discouraging, but we agreed to meet that afternoon so he could give me the memory card.

When I got home and plugged the cartridge into the slot on the console, I was kinda scared. What if the thing exploded or something? I gave it a try and the thing actually worked! As I clicked on the games section, everything was there! There were some vectorman games but I didn't know who that was at the time so I didn't really care about them. What I was more interested in was the museum. There were a bunch of unlockable promotional art and illustrations there that I never got to see as a kid, so you could imagine how joyful I was when I saw the museum section filled with pages upon pages of illustrations and renderings of the games. Some of them weren't even on the Gems Collection like some screenshots of Sonic Heroes.

I went back on the game menu and was surprised to see another game entry below all the vectorman ones. It was called "Sonic: Battle of Metal and Blood". What the hell was this? It surely wasn't in the cover art and a quick google search turned up nothing. Was it a glitch? It couldn't be; it looked too clean and intentionally made to be a glitch, not to mention that whole game titles don't just appear out of thin air. Game or not, something was programmed in there. I concluded it was probably someone's fan project that was in the memory card my cousin gave me. Why hadn't he mentioned it though?

I was too curious to turn down a mystery like this one, so I got up first to make a cup of coffee since it was already getting late. As I returned from the kitchen, I remembered to look at the synopsis of the game. I can't remember exactly what it said but it was something along the lines of:

"In this sequel to the famous Sonic CD, step in the shoes of Sonic's friends as they face their biggest challenge yet. Control Amy Rose and Miles "Tails" Prower and fight against the metallic faker himself, Metal Sonic, and stop him before he puts his plan to become the only Sonic in action"

Woah, that sounded exciting; I wasted no time. I got all cozy, kept my cup of coffee next to me

And pressed START.

To be continued in part 2

[tellywoodtrash]

immj2 13 + 14.11.20 lbs

13.11.20

i’m just gonna skim through this one, coz i don’t wanna dwell on the death and maatam and all.

hahahahahahahahaha riddhima is screaming at god for letting this happen and kabir is like “bhagwaan ko beech mein kyun laa rahi ho, mujhe bhi toh credit do!” i truly love this crazyass fucker.

riddhima continuing to scream at god about vansh jissne “KOI KABHI BURA KAAM NAHI KIYA HAI” ?!?!?!!?!?!?!? sis what the fuck???? first of all, none of us over the age of like...... 7, are truly sinless. and THIS MAN PARALYZED AND THREATENED TO KILL YOU MULTIPLE TIMES, FFS.

KABIR IS MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, I AM KABIR

now she trying to throw herself off the cliff and for some reason i cannot understand, kabir is holding her back????? literally why, my bro????? let her die, saaari musibatein khatam. ugh, you still have some kinda residual feelings for her from your not-that-kameena days, don’t you?

asalkdjaldkjsaldkjsalkdjl riddhima ke andar OG prerna ka bhoot chadh gaya, she hitting kabir with danda the way Mother India did dhulaayi of yudi in the disco (still one of the most iconic scenes of tellywood for me, istg)

dude, idk if it’s just ego waale possesive issues or he still has feelings for her, but kabir def wants riddhima to be “his girl”. even after danda beating he’s trying to help her as she stumbles around in sadma.

anyway she sauntered off rubbing that stupid muffler of vansh’s on her face. SIS YOU GONNA BREAK OUT IF YOU RUB SUCH GANDA KAPDA ON YOUR FACE.

5 min of flashbacks of vansh. fwding.

family (dadi, chanchal, and all the rest of the riff-raff) has come back home and ghar is all dark.

weird how angre is also with them. i woulda thought he’d be on whatever tasks vansh set him on, instead of doing mandir yatras with these assholes.

mummy has decided to break news in most non-tactful way ever. wearing all white and has set up photu with haar already.

yeah, requisite screaming and crying blah blah. nahi dekhna.

i’m only here for ishani and angre’s reactions. bechaare look genuinely devastated. i mean dadi does too, but bohut hi zyaaaada overdramatic and i’m getting uncomfortable.

riddhima has returned.

to her surprise everyone already knows. zara dimaag lagao behen, how they even found out before you reached??? (ok no i understand you’re numb from trauma rn and can’t think of all this, but i hope your idiot brain thinks of it later.)

WHY THE FUCK IS DADI YELLING AT RIDDHIMA KI TERE HOTE HUE KAISE HUA YEHHHHHH, WHO THE FUCK IS SHE TO TAALOFY GIANT COSMIC DECISIONS LIKE LIFE AND DEATH????? isse apni khud ki jaan nahi sambhali jaati, let alone someone else’s.

holy shit she’s actually saying, “tu toh uski dhaal thi, uske liye tuney goli khaayi thi, iss baar kaise chook gayi????” MAN, FAMILIES OF DESI BOYS REALLY BE FUCKIN WILDDDDDDDDDDDDDD WITH THEIR EXPECTATIONS FROM BAHUS. one time she took a bullet for him wasn’t enough????? you want her to actually fucking die before something happens to him. god forgive me but i really wanna slap this dadi rn.

mummy cooking up some fucking ridiculousssssss story about gunde in the house and how vansh was chasing them and gaadi khaayi mein gir gayi and god knows whatttt

ok she’s saying siya got the call about it and she was running down the stairs while in shock and now whoopsie daisy, she’s in critical condition (probably in a coma or some shit.)

aryan looks sad at the siya news. thank god this mummy ka niyana has basic consideration for someone else other than himself and his mother.

mummy ka rona dhona drama fwding.

ishani is now yelling at angre. which..... kinda deserved. you’re his safety person dude.

ok too much crying. fwding.

riddhima asking mummy why you lie to family about how he died. mummy like how tf i tell them police dragged him out and he died in an encounter for trying to escape. it’s better for them to not know the truth. which.............. ok fair, but coming from this shadyassss woman......

god this mummy ka ainvayi praising vansh waala scene is going on too long. fwding.

riddhima back to room. some more flashbacks. OUFF. FWDING.

obligatory kamre ka tod-phod scene. FWDING!!!!!!!!!!

fell asleep crying and holding one of his coats.

LMAO ISHANI KA MANN NAHI BHARAA GHAR KE ITNE CASUALTIES SE............ SHE’S LIKE WHAT’S ONE MORE????

dadi slapping ishani for doing what any one of us would do, honestly, so.... whatever. fuck off dadi.

ishani telling 100% truth ki jabse this useless b has entered my bhai’s life, his problems have been never ending, i’m fucking sureeeeeeeeee she’s the reason he’s dead. the only voice of reason in this show, truly.

dadi all WOH EK HAADSAAAA THAAAA, NOONE CAN CONTROLLLL THOSEEEE, oh yeah, not the sentiment that you were expressing to riddhima when she walked in, you stupid old bat. whatever, i’m fwding this scene.

kabir and mishra have entered house. coz they are awwal no. ke sadists. need to get off on watching this family cry and suffer.

LMAO THE LOOK RIDDHIMA GAVE KABIR. HE’S LEGIT SCARED OF HER.

angre bhi staring daggers at kabir. chal hatt, i know for sure you’re behind saving vansh and stashing him somewhere to crawl out whenever it’s the right time. 

body nahi mili blah blah blah

lol this one’s face clearly says milegi bhi kaise, main tum logon ki tarah nikamma nahi hoon. i have 16% success rate. it’s low but it’s more than y’all 0%.

lmaoooooo oh DOW DIGGY DIGGY DOW DIGGY DOW DOW, i love you sooooooooo much.

ALSO WHAT A MISSED OPPORTUNITY TO MAAROFY THE PUN KI “MAINE VANSH KE VANSH KO MITAAAAA DIYAAAAAAAA” severely disappointed in you, kabir.

yup. appropriate response. to just generally all the men in your life.

lmao riddhima like you arrested vansh ONLY COZ I LOVEDDDDDDD HIMMMMMMMMMMMM. lol the amount of self delusion. sis, his feelings for vansh were faaaaaaar more powerful and intense than anything he ever felt for your dumb ass.

kabir saying there’s nothing left for you here, why don’t you come back to me and lmao............... he tried.

 “riddhima nahi. riddhima vansh raisinghania.” 

ok whatever you say, sis. i’m just grateful to god this manhoos episode is finally over.

———————————————————————

14.11.20

redo of last scene.

lmao kabir is like I HATED VANSH WAAAAAAAAAAAAY BEFORE YOUR DUMB ASS FELL FOR HIM. YEAH I DON’T LIKE THAT YOU PICKED HIM OVER ME, BUT I’M NOT SO BAD THAT I’D TAKE REVENGE FROM HIM FOR THAT. yeah, dude. he just wanted his money; not youuuuuu. like..... chillll. kahaan se aata hai logon ko itnaaaaa confidence khud pe???

kabir saying i had proof vansh killed ragini, i found his watch there next to the body. she’s like i had it, i took it to repair it, and ragini died in front of me. vansh wasn’t anywhere near there.

lmao she’s back to shoving him around. what an annoying bitch she is. 

kabir like did you SEE who shot ragini? no????????? then it could very well have been vansh, right????? plus i got that footage from 3 years ago.

she’s like hein hein heinnnnn where you get it from when i burnt that chip????????? OH NOW SHE’S USING HER BRAINNNNN. SO WAS VANSH THE ONE RENDERING HER SO FUCKING STUPID? NOW HE’S NOT ADDLING HER BRAIN WITH LUST HORMONES, HER 3 BRAIN CELLS ARE FINALLY WORKING AGAIN!!!!!!!!!! take this as proof, ladies. MEN MAKE YOU FUCKING DUMB AS SHIT BY JUST MAKING YOU BREATHE THE SAME AIR AS THEM.

kabir saying someone from inside the house probably saved it and sent it. and that vansh made all this happen by taking mishra’s gunnnn and forcing them to take the sunsaaaan paaath and he tried to runnn and blah blah blah.

again he’s asking her to come be with him and she’s like gtfo i don’t wanna see your cuteass face anymore, you’re dead to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ok she didn’t say the cute bit, i did. i think y’all already knew that. but how to resist??? he sho cute!!!!!! 

mishra like this b kuch zyaada nahi bol gayi???? 

“dil par jo chot lagti hai, woh nazar nahi aati, but ghaav bohut gehra hota hai. yeh dard maine bhi mehsoos kiya tha, jab riddhima mujhe chod ke chali gayi thi vansh ke paas.” heinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn? now he suddenly is/was truly in love with her again???? bhai, tu decide karle, ki if she’s just a pawn to you or something more. ainvayi jhool raha hai idhar udhar.

mishra like, ok whatever, but where vansh’s body tho???

clearly not him. the head shape alllllll different.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS THEY FINALLY PUT RRAHUL’S FINE ASS IN JEANS!!!!!!

again, no wedding ring. dead body is not vansh.

“bhagwaan jaane kahaan chali gayi uski laash.” lmao i really loled the way he delivered the line. i really love him the mostttttttttt.

kabir you are honestly suchhhhhhhhhhhhhh an idiot, if you think not getting his body is a good thing. DON’T YOU KNOW HIM AT ALL??????? AT ALLLLLLLL????? NO BODY MEANS HE’S STILL OUT THERE, BIDING HIS TIME TO FUCKING COME GET YOUUUUUU.

he’s like good, vansh didn’t even get antim sanskaaaar. who knew kabir was sooooo religious??????

vansh so efficient and independent ki khud ka kriyakaram kar raha hai. aatmanirbhar ho toh aise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

not before he maarofied his own pocket tho.

“bohut jald iss VR mansion ke aage KR mansion ka signboard hoga.” hein???????? the R in there is for RAISINGHANIA. why the hell would you add one random surname to your name??????

YEAH. I KNOW THOSE CHITTAAA-ASSS EARSSSSSSS.

OMFGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG BHAGWAAAAAAN NE MERIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII SUNNNNNNNNNNN LIIIIIIIIII THEY MADE HIM SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE ASALKJDLKJDSLAKJDLASKAS

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG THE DUMBASS FAKE DEEEP VOICE IS GONE TOOOOOOOOO ALKSDJSALKDJLASKJDLSAKJDLASKJDLASKJDLKJLKS I JUST

styling also EXAAAAAAACTLY HOW I LIKE IT.

helllllllllllllllllllllllo hunny. NOW YOU’VE MADE THIS SHOW FINALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLY WORTH WATCHING. bas thodaaaa saa tharakkkkk ka maska i need to make my tellywood viewing experience sooooooo much easier. AUR WOH MUJHE AAAAAAJ SE MIL GAYAAAAAAAAAAA.

ok 13 days later.

bitch looks better after going through life-altering trauma than i do on my most stable mental health days.

talking to portrait about how the misery is unending, etc. etc.

kabir still calling her. WHY??????? dude just take the L and move the fuck on.

lmaooooooo mummy is like 13 din rone ki acting kar karke aankhon ki band baj gayiiiiii. 

standard mwahahahahaha we succedded bufoonery from too complacent evil ppl. dumb dumb dumbbbbb!

but let’s admire this evil cutie bean.

riddhima’s mangalsutra which she justttttt set down on that bureau missing. she in a panic.

ofc these two are behind it.

ishani wants the truth about that dayyyyyyy and aryan jumping in about how riddhima never loved vansh and just always doubted him and blah blah.

my question is since when aryan loves vansh bhaiiiiiii so much huh???????

anyway. this happens. and those two are left plotting some more about getting the truth out.

VIHAAAAAAAAAAAN is the new name.

seeeeee????? i knew his ass had some lucrative skill in the current economy. he some tech bro types.

CAN YOU BELIEVEEEEEEEEE THEY HID THAT FUCKING JAWLINE AND THOSE DIMPLES UNDER THAT BEARD FOR 5 WHOLE MONTHSSSSSSSSS. FUCKING HUMAN RIGHTS CRIMEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

unf, boy got cake. that ass just needed shirali to stay tf away from it.

also askdjalskjdlsakdjlaskjdlkj they turned ragini’s container waala room into his hacker man cave. what a wonderfully multipurpose room!

honestly, i’m just soooooooooo relieved i can just watch this show for eyecandy now. kaleje ko suchhhhhhhh thandak, yougaizzzzz.

banda khud vansh ke net worth (5000 cr.) ko dekh kar hairaan pareshaan. yeah, this much wealth accumulation is fucking immoral, asshole. you vansh did deserve to get thrown off a fucking cliff.

show laaaaaaaaaakh convince karne ki koshish karle ki yeh koi aur hai, my bullshit meter says it’s vansh vansh and no one else but vansh.

unrealistic af, someone PRINTING photos out in this day and age. what kinda tech person are you???????

lmao he’s checking out each photo for each family member and the commentssssssss.....

rudra chacha and chanchal chachi: “kaafi expressive faces! koshish bhi kare chupaane ki toh bhi chupaa nahi paa rahe ke lomdiii hain yeh ghar ke.”

aslkdjaslkdjlsakjdlskjdlksj i already like him better than old vansh.

aryan: “doosron ke bharose jeene waala.”

ishani: “raisinghania hone ka bohut ghamand hai, magar bechaari ki shaadi angre se ho gayi.”

how he know that if he not vansh????? angre not even in this set of pics.

siya: “kehte hain jo chal nahi sakte, unka wifi network bohut strong hota hai..... kab, kahaan, kya pakad le, koi nahi jaanta.”

“aur yeh hai....... RIDDHIMAAAAA....... iss parivaar ka most special aur khoobsoorat member.”

“moh aur maaya...... dono ka mel [...]”

yup, i definitely like this cheeky and cheesy persona better than the murder-threatening-paralyzing shit we had to put up with earlier. happy days, you guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! happy days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[iiasha-archived]

✨ Content Creator Year in Review ✨

i was tagged by @soonhoonsol​ and @coupsnim​​ (thanks loves <3)

first creation of 2020:

can y’all believe i didn’t start making gifs until this year... and i didn’t really start posting art until really late of 2019 hehe seventeen said we’re gonna make a content creator out of you!!!!!!!!!

artwise it’s this jun painting which i’m honestly not a big fan of lmao i was still trying to adjust to digital art at this point. gifwise its this jun set, posted in march, and its also my first gifset ever lmaooo tbt making gifs in gimp

most recent creation of 2020:

i believe its this seokgyu gifset from the harper bazaar behind! but i’m currently working on my vapoursynth gui does that count 🤔

one of your favorite creations from 2020:

perhaps obvious considering i based my entire theme around it but this painting of jun from fallin’ flower! i don’t think i even spent that long on it, like maybe 2 hours or so? lmao

a creation you’re really proud of:

hmm i think overall this dino painting!! i really like the color palette and how the dusty see-through jacket was rendered. but i also want to shout out this wonwoo painting bc ya girl really went OFF on the clothing

OH also this may not seem like much to most people but this seungkwan gose gifset. the thing is i made this in GIMP and completely scrubbed out the gose logo. for those who don’t know, making gifs in GIMP means applying the changes to every single frame. so for the caption i had to copy and paste it into every single frame, and for getting rid of the logo i had to scrub it out of every single frame. joshua’s head actually intersects with it in the second gif but you can’t tell, right :D

i was so proud of that gifset when i made it lmao and it took me forever but now that kind of thing would be trivial in photoshop........

a new style you tried this year and a work that uses it:

tbhhh...... i don’t think i really changed styles lmao i more like changed medium/technologies? like painting-wise going from traditional to digital art was a huge shift for me. gifwise i started in gimp, eventually moved to photoshop, and then finally started using vapoursynth like literally last week lmao.

that being said, here’s the first gifset i ever made in PS, and here’s the first gifset i ever made with vapoursynth (like i said literally last week asdlffajs)

a creation that took you forever:

for paintings this jun painting and this hoshi painting. for gifs this big vernon compilation lmao. in general compilation gifsets that use clips from different videos also take me a really long time (namely bc i have to find them all)

your creation from 2020 that received the most notes:

this gifset from the sohu interview; i only have 2 sets that have over 2k notes and this is one of them lmao (may as well plug in the other one its this scoups set from that shadow gose)

a creation you think deserved more notes:

my svt x birth flower series!! i still have to do ‘97 and maknae line tho ajdflakjdfs [95z] [96z]

a new fandom you joined and a creation you made for it:

i didn’t really join any new fandoms this year lmao (i guess i “joined” genshin impact but i haven’t made anything for it) but all my creations exist because i started stanning seventeen LMAOOO

a creation you made that breaks your heart:

bro i don’t make content that makes me sad :(

a ‘simple’ creation that you really love:

hmm idk if it counts but maybe this moodboard of seventeen reacting to their predebut selves? lmao i literally just took a bunch of screenshots and put them together but its so funny afljkjdsfd

a creation that was inspired by another one:

i guess the paintings i made based off my seventeen and their associated colors gfx? (hyung line | maknae line). lmao i said i was gonna make paintings for all of them but as of now i’ve only made 2..... (wonwoo | jeonghan)

a favorite creation created by someone else:

ughhh that’s really hard to choose there’s so many ;__; i’m gonna be extremely lame and refrain from answering this question ajfdaklsjf

some of your favorite content creators from the year (also tag you’re it!!):

i’m going to continue being extremely lame and not do this one bc i don’t wanna leave anybody out ;__; but literally every single person i follow ❤️

and for good measure, a couple more creations of yours that you love:

if i put it on this fucking website there is love 😔 but i’m also just lazy LMAO my everything tag is m:* if people wanna look ❤️

[skidar]

Dungeons & DuckTales

Part One of ???

A few months ago when I got my little bro into the new season of DuckTales we started talking about Dungeons and Dragons (Cause we’re obsessed) and he thought it would be hilarious to model a new DnD character after Darkwing Duck. After a few tries he fashioned a Gallus duck (Humblewood race bird person) Way of the Shadow Monk who’s favorite past times included vigilante heroism, monologuing and smoke bombs. It got us thinking, what classes would the rest of the cast be? It’s become something of a fun sibling project to debate about classes and alignments so check under the cut for our full nerd-out reasoning behind class choices ;)

Darkwing Duck

Monk: Way of the Shadow

Alignment: Neutral Good

He is the terror that flaps in the night! He is the stunning strike that paralyzes you at the top of each round, he’s Darkwing Duck!

While I originally figured on a Fighter class for DW my brother was galaxy-brained and showed me the awesomeness of Monks. In the end it made way more sense. DW doesn’t use weapons and is proficient in martial arts and other flavors of hand-to-hand combat. When we tried to think of a replacement for his iconic gas gun we ultimately figure on those colorful smoke bombs but on a larger scale. Shadow Monks can spend Ki points to duplicate spell effects or even cast spells like darkness, dark vision, pass without a trace and silence. All stuff I’m sure DW would drool over the chance to operate with. At higher levels he can even fade through one shadow and appear through another like some sort of phantasmal whack-a-mole. While his outfit is designed based on his DWD costume after a lot of consideration I nixed the cape as it wasn’t looking right for the class and he’ll have plenty of dramatic flare between shadows, smoke, and magic anyway ;)

Gosalyn/ Quiverwing Quack

Ranger: Huntress

Alignment: Neutral Good

Thanks to Gosalyn’s superhero-sona, Quiverwing Quack, her class was pretty easy to pin down. Design aspects were pulled directly from her original costume with a few additions from the SDCC design teaser. As far as her Huntress subclass, instead of hunting beasts or monsters our Quiverwing takes up the family business of hunting crime with plenty of tricks of her sleeve and in her magic arrows.

And finally

Launchpad McQuack

Paladin: Oath of the Ancients.

Alignment: Lawful Good

We have been debating LP’s class for weeks. Was he a Beast Master Ranger that rides a rhino to crash into evil-doers? Was a he a land and sea vehicle proficient Fighter? Instead of trying to pin him down based on a particular fighting style or job we decided to focus his actual character. Launchpad McQuack, everyone’s friend! Loyal, hard-working, trustworthy and loves sharing his favorite stories and lore with the people around him, who prides being a good guy without the ego for limelight but because it’s the right thing to do. My brother seized the Players Handbook and flipped open to the Paladin section where he found Oath of the Ancients. And since it’s so much to paraphrase here’s a direct pull:

Tenets of the Ancients

The tenets of the Oath of the Ancients have been preserved for uncounted centuries. This oath emphasizes the principles of good above any concerns of law or chaos. Its four central principles are simple.

Kindle the Light. Through your acts of mercy, kindness, and forgiveness, kindle the light of hope in the world, beating back despair.

Shelter the Light. Where there is good, beauty, love, and laughter in the world, stand against the wickedness that would swallow it. Where life flourishes, stand against the forces that would render it barren.

Preserve Your Own Light. Delight in song and laughter, in beauty and art. If you allow the light to die in your own heart, you can't preserve it in the world.

Be the Light. Be a glorious beacon for all who live in despair. Let the light of your joy and courage shine forth in all your deeds.

When I asked which sort of deity Paladin LP would serve my brother laughed and said ‘Darkwing Duck, duh.’ So now we have our shiny, armored best boy. I modeled his armor designs for the open sky and used The Sunchaser/Cloud Slayer as the cross tree and hilt of the sword. 

--

Well, that’s round one! Up next is the triplets! I was super stoked to start this mini project with my bro so we can combine two of our favorite things, DnD and DuckTales ;)

[jennikkugoesoff]

Jennikku goes off about a Sonic the Hedgehog Reboot.

If you follow me at all or have read many of my other rants, you’ll know I love Sonic the Hedgehog. A lot, with all my heart. I met my friends through Sonic and it’s a franchise that’s changed a lot in my life, for better, for worse and everything in-between. It’s the reason I started to draw, to write and to really give creativity a chance.

It’s a series that has been through many twists, turns, up and down and all arounds over the course of it’s long, 28 (as of the time of writing) year lifespan, and has stood the test of time, being heralded either as one of the best video game franchises of all time, or, well, one of the worst out there, becoming more and more dated by each passing day.

But, it didn’t start out that way. Everyone’s told the long, terrible story now about Sonic’s massive rise to the top of 1990s American Iconography and his massive plummet into the depths of Hell, dragging his now-bitter fans down with him following the turn of the century and segwaying into the modern age, so I won’t bog you with the details you already know, but here’s the main point.

Sonic the Hedgehog... kinda sucks.

And that’s because it’s a mess. An astronomically confused, tired, and beaten mess. In the 28 year lifespan of Sonic the Hedgehog, it’s canon has become massively tangled in knots. Inconsistent games, inconsistent comics, inconsistent cartoons, and so on and so forth. Anyone who’s a fan of Sonic comes from a place where they heard about Sonic, be it the games, the cartoons, the comics, and so on, and therefore, have a different mindset about what Sonic the Hedgehog should be, which is the cause for much of the heavy, almost unpleasable climate the fan community gives off.

Really? The only way I see the series being salvageable is to wipe the slate clean and begin... at least somewhat anew, and see how these scatted pieces of broken glass we call the ‘Sonic canon’ can fit together.

This has been tried once, with Sonic Boom, but it didn’t really end well, and I’d like to change that, so let’s have this hypothetical reboot take the same form as Sonic Boom, as a potential ‘new face’ for the entire series, rather than a spinoff continuity. (I feel like this was the original intention of Sonic Boom, but due to the backlash, was revoked.)

Are you comfortable? Let’s go. It’s gonna be a long-ass, tiring, winding post.

(Seriously I spent fucking 3 days just writing this post. For that reason, there may be a few gRaMatTcul eRors here and there, just bear with me, okay? I’m tired and I just wanna heave out this monster of an idea.)

Housecleaning and on wiping the slate clean

Ok, before we actually get into redoing the series, I wanna make this clear, when I say I want to ‘wipe the slate clean’, that’s sort of an exaggeration. I don’t think Sonic needs to be completely rewritten from scratch, and certain elements of the series DO work very well, so it’s more we’re gonna ‘wipe the slate clean, but immediately redraw things back on, except bigger and better than they were before.’

The reason why is, Sonic the Hedgehog has a kind of ‘hoarder complex’ when it comes to his franchise. As I established earlier, the main problem with rebooting Sonic the Hedgehog as compared to another franchise like, say, Ducktales, or Ghostbusters, is that Sonic the Hedgehog has a lot of lore. Too much lore. Think about the crazy amount of lore surrounding Solaris, Mephiles, Dark and Light Gaia, the Wisps, Chaos, and Tikal, Shadow and the Black Arms, Silver, the Sol Dimension and Blaze, Eggman Nega, the Nocturnus Clan, the list goes on and on and on. It’s head-spinning, it’s confusing, and most of all, obtrusive to what’s actually important in the Sonic Canon versus what seems important.

This isn’t helped by the fact that Sonic has never really had a consistent ground to stand on in terms of his world and where he lives because where he lives changes with every game or new thing Sonic is in. So, introducing these new, complicated gods and grand, sprawling history all of a sudden doesn’t give the world Sonic lives in any ground or any real meaning if it’s just going to be ignored later on when Sonic Forces completely rewrites the world map from Unleashed. (This is a problem I have with the Mario and Kirby series too.)

Even if you claim something like the Sonic Archie comics have consistency in their setting, think about how much the comic’s version of Mobius changed over the course of its lifespan after not only being completely rewritten (thanks Ken Penders. I’m sure your horrific 3d render children are proud.) and two crossovers, not to mention all the subtle shifts and changes the comic made from its debut comic to its cancellation.

So, if we’re going to do this, we need to get this straight right now.

A new Sonic reboot will NEED to cover EVERY base of the Sonic continuity. Games, Comics, Cartoons, Merchandising (with the exception of maybe some anniversary stuff), The Whole Echidna- er, Enchilada.

If the problem with Sonic as it is, is that the continuity is messy because it keeps adding new stuff? THEN STOP FUCKING ADDING NEW STUFF!!

NO ONE’S GONNA LIKE THE NEW STUFF ANYWAY!!

PEOPLE FUCKING HATE CHANGE!!

THIS FRANCHISE IS SO FUCKing MiSTReATED!- FUCK!!

Nah, but seriously. If this reboot is gonna work, then it needs to BE a proper reboot. Not a side-series like Sonic Boom, not an ‘alternate dimension’ to dip into for mainline games, not a one-off series of animated shorts, no quills, no pillows. If we’re gonna do this, we’re gonna go all in. At least in terms of continuity.

So, you know what we’re gonna name this reboot?

Sonic the Hedgehog

Just, Sonic the Hedgehog. Yep. All in, indeed.

Audience, Tone, and Genre

I feel maybe I should’ve split these into multiple sections, but, they really all go hand-in-hand. 

If we’re gonna remake Sonic, we gotta first decide how Sonic should feel, and who he’s going to appeal to. So, let’s consider what we’re working with first, based on the history of who Sonic has appealed to.

The whole point of Sonic’s young, hip, snarky personality was to appeal to the American youth of the 1990s (kids, teenagers, and young adults), the young, hip, snarky and coolest people around. Sonic sought to identify with these kids by being a little bit ‘edgier’ and ‘cooler’ than most other cartoon characters of his era, but still with the capability to be as cute, wholesome and inherently charming as his competition. Like the perfect little blend of the sarcastic wit of Bugs Bunny and the lovable personability of Mickey Mouse and Felix the Cat.

Many Sonic clones of the 1990s like Bubsy, Aero the Acrobat, and Zero the [CENSORED] Squirrel tried to piggyback off of Sonic in this manner by trying to play up Sonic’s edgy, snarky appeal, but what they lack is that more wholesome, laid back, simple, round and friendly aspects of his design. It’s why Sonic can look like this:

but also like this

like this

but also like this.

It’s why Sonic works so well as a cartoon character in animated shorts and cartoons, as well as an action character in high octane blood pumping action anime, and one of the reasons why I think his design is so appealing. It’s this, this perfect balance between cool superhero and cuddly, wholesome cartoon character that makes Sonic such the iconic character he is.

So what’s the point of me telling you that?

Well, lots of people disagree on what Sonic the Hedgehog’s tone should be, and what audience Sonic should appeal to. Many argue Sonic is a series strictly meant for children, and therefore shouldn’t take any risks and be cutesy, wholesome and bouncy. Others argue Sonic should market itself to teenagers and young adults by pushing its envelope with it’s material and turning itself into a giant melodrama with three-dimensional characters, intertwining relationships and giant, epic Dragon Ball Z style showdowns with blood, guts and the crunching of noses and teeth.

You know what’s popular right now though and seems to have been for a while? A blend of those exact two things.

It sounds dumb but, think about it. Video games and cartoons have been taking this turn toward being a little bit of the best of both worlds. Steven Universe, Undertale/Deltarune, Star Vs. The Forces of Evil, even stuff like Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, that sort of thing.

So, I think a new Sonic reboot should be an Action/Adventure-Comedy. It’s a series about long, lengthy quests and the ongoing war between nature and machine, but it’s also about a quick-witted cartoon character having fun picking on an overconfident evil scientist and his lackeys.

And you know what? I think Sonic is and has shown that this is the environment he flourishes in. Think about why Sonic Mania Adventures and Team Sonic Racing: Overdrive work so well, or why OK KO: Let’s Meet Sonic! is so great! It places Sonic and co. in an environment in which they have the opportunity to be funny and cartoony, but also leaves itself open to lead into more strict action sequences or serious, emotional moments, should it feel the need to. It lets the characters be the characters, without being impeded by everything needed to be babyproofed, but also not interrupted by fanfic-tier melodramatics every 2 and a half minutes. And, considering how much any media featuring Sonic relies on its characters to garner appeal, this is important.

Besides that, this is also important for something I think is going to make this reboot go from good to great.

: ✧･ﾟ: U N I F I C A T I O N ! :･ﾟ✧ : 

I’ve said this before in my other essay on how I’d reboot Sonic, but I truly feel that bringing together a lot of different elements of Sonic’s history together for this reboot is a top-notch idea for not only bringing the series back together whilst maintaining a wide appeal but also broaden the scope of potential characters, settings, and plot points we can work with, rather than just limiting it to just the classic era, or just the modern era, it also might leave veteran fans wondering just who or what was going to show up in the next game, or next episode!

Why limit ourselves to just a classic-style series or just a modern-style series? Why not mix it up a little?

Let’s take the cute classic stuff and mix it with some of the cool modern stuff!

I mean of course there’s gonna be purists but, hey, if we have a little bit of both we might just start seeing eye to eye!

So, what does that mean for the audience? Well, I think in that sense, Sonic should be able to appeal to, about anyone, really. Adults, Kids, Teenagers, anyone. It’d be like going to see a Marvel Superhero movie in the theaters or watching Spongebob on TV, yeah, it’d be something kids enjoy, but also something young adults can appreciate too. Although if we absolutely have to stick to a demographic, I’d say the ideal targets for a Sonic the Hedgehog reboot are two groups of people specifically.

Older fans of the series who grew up with the Adventure and Classic games, and Younger people who are more familiar with the modern games. As far as drawing new people or embittered old fans in?... Well, we’ll get to that.

Plot synopsis

It may seem like a no-brainer what the plot of Sonic the Hedgehog is, right? Well, of course it is. It’s been the same for over 20 years, and, I think the premise? Is fine.

“Sonic the Hedgehog is the fastest thing alive and a protector of nature who loves adventure. He’s smarmy and mischevious, but with a heart of gold and an unshakable sense of justice with a can-do attitude. His archnemesis, Dr. Eggman, wants to take over his natural, sprawling home and begin building his planet-conquering empire in its place. It’s up to Sonic and his group of friends to defeat Dr. Eggman, and restore peace to the world, and the green back to the hills.”

This? Right here? This is Sonic the Hedgehog. No matter who you ask, from any branch of the franchises thousand-foot tall family tree, this is Sonic the Hedgehog. There’s a couple of doodads and twists here and there depending on the specific game, but that’s really honestly it when you break it all down, that’s the plot of almost every Sonic game. But this can easily get lost and bogged down between all of the God-summoning and all that shit that other Sonic media does.

So, let’s keep the focus on this, and this alone. Just the ongoing misadventures, setbacks, leaps forward, threats and triumphs between Sonic and Co. and the forces of evil.

...(But let’s add the Chaos Emeralds and Master Emerald, I don’t think I can stand having a Sonic continuity without them and they make for good plot fodder, plus, I’ll be damned if I’m not seeing Super Sonic by the time a series finale or end-of-game hits.)

Setting + Background Lore

So, to set a location, let’s dumb down where Sonic actually lives. (Figuratively anyway, Sonic has no true home, just places he likes to be at any one time.)

In the Genesis days, Sonic lived on a tiny island called South Island, and the game’s settings often took place on South Island or on it’s neighboring islands Westside and Angel Island, and, given how important these old zones, like Green Hill and Chemical Plant Zone, are to the current Sonic Canon, I propose that maybe the setting for this potential reboot takes place on said islands, with one island for each of the cardinal directions on a compass, but also some of the other islands that are included in the Sonic series (as well as some adjusted ones!)

And, as a reference to the days of yore, we could even call it

The Mobius Archipelago

Each of these islands would have their own unique areas (referred to as ‘Zones’ for both nostalgia and convenience’s sake) based on the different levels from Sonic games. I’m unsure of the exact geography of these islands in question, but, you get the idea if you’re at all familiar with the canon, South Island has all the zones from Sonic 1 (16 and 8 Bit), Sonic Chaos and Sonic 2 (8-bit), Westside Island has all the zones from Sonic 2 and a couple from Sonic Mania, Angel Island has all the Zones from Sonic 3 & Knuckles, North Island is essentially a fusion of all the different Eggman Zones (Crystal Egg, Sleeping Egg, Scrap Brain, Metropolis, Eggmanland, Robotropolis, Robotnik Winter, the zones from SegaSonic the Hedgehog, etc.), Flicky’s Island has all of the zones from Sonic 3D Blast, Cocoa Island has all the zones from Tails Skypatrol and Tails Adventure, Mirage Island has all the zones from Sonic 4 and also Never Lake, and Little Planet (and hence all the zones from Sonic CD) you get the idea.

I’m unsure what exactly Eastside Island would have on it, but I figured that Sonic games have so many zones and levels across so many games, surely something would find a nice home on that island, perhaps some of the zones from Sonic Mania, Sonic Blast, maybe even the Adventure games, who knows? But, inevitably, space is going to run out on those other islands and we’ll likely have zones or locations that’ll be good for the series to have.

And then, we also have a mainland sprinkled with City. This is where your Adventure/Modern style cities are, Station Square, City Escape, that sort of thing.

It may not seem like much, considering some Sonic games have settings that span entire planets, but when you think about how many zones are crammed into a few little islands in the genesis titles alone, it’s hardly a limited setting.

The natives of this island chain would be Mobians and Mobini. Mobians are your typical Sonic characters, your Sonics, your Tailses, your Knuckleses, and so on and so forth. They’re the more humanoid animals. Mobini, on the other hand would be all of the smaller animals, the kind that Sonic frees from badniks or are just knockin about doing little woodland creature things. For more information on Mobini, I’ve included a little blip about them in the ‘Side Protagonists’ part of this little shanty ‘pitch guide’.

Humans would live on the mainland, although some researchers and scientists would visit the Archipelago every so often because of it’s mysterious ‘new frontier’ kind of appeal, even if Mobians find their research a little weird.

Generally, Humans also keep to the mainland, and Mobians keep to their islands, but, make no mistake, Mobians and Humans don’t hate each other. Some Mobians and Mobini have taken to the urban lifestyle, whereas some humans have taken to the natural wonder of the Archipelago, starting environmentally friendly cities and towns in the sleepy groves and corners of this untamed wilderness.

This Archipelago would be the point of focus for our Main Characters because, well, it’s their native home, and it’d draw our Main Villains because this island is also home to the Seven Chaos Emeralds, and their Master Emerald.

The Chaos Emeralds are the main MacGuffins of the Sonic series, and for good reason! Gathering all seven of these things grants their holder infinite access to chaos energy, a kind of force that will turn their thoughts into power, whether positive or negative. While most Mobians would prefer to leave the Chaos Emeralds alone, due to them causing, well, chaos, villains seek these gems out on purpose so that they can easier accomplish their goals. However, if a hero were to gather all seven chaos emeralds, and had enough purity, desire for good, and strength in their heart, the emeralds will grant them immense power, too.

Upon a vast amount of energy being used however, the Emeralds will scatter across the Archipelago, waiting for their next holders to come, and initiate chaos once more.

And then, there’s the Master Emerald. The Master Emerald is very similar to the Chaos Emeralds, and contains tenfold the amount of energy of a full set of Chaos Emeralds, but also acts as an on/off switch for the Chaos Emeralds. The Master Emerald can completely drain the Chaos Emeralds of their power, or multiply their power exponentially if one knows how to control it, making the Master Emerald incredibly valuable too. However, villains usually tend to opt for the Chaos Emeralds instead, not only because legends of the Master Emerald are believed to be false, or even if it is real, no one knows how to control it, but the Master Emerald is also said to have a guardian. A very, very angry guardian.

There’s also the lesser-known Time Stones.

The Time Stones reside on Little Planet, an anomalous celestial body that appears only once every year over Never Lake on Mirage Island. These stones seemed to have formed in a similar fashion to the Chaos Emeralds, but rather than bending SPACE to the will of their holders, the Time Stones will instead, bend Time. The Time Stones, for this reason, are even more dangerous than the Chaos Emeralds and are responsible for many of the temporal anomalies within the Archipelago. Due to their danger, the Time Stones see much more infrequent use than the Chaos Emeralds, and keeping them on Little Planet as opposed to bringing them to the surface of the Earth is much safer, as the Time Stones will only seemingly affect the time stream of Little Planet and not the Earth.

The Time Stones won’t matter until later in the series when Sonic and Co. start tampering with time, and for a while, the focus will remain on the Chaos Emeralds and Master Emerald.

But enough about where Sonic lives, let’s look at him and the rest of our colorful main cast, shall we?

Main Protagonists

Hooh, boy I am not gonna make many friends with this decision, am I?

This is kinda where my reboot starts to get a lot little tiny bit more personal, but, I have reasoning behind picking who I pick. The characters I’d pick to be the main protagonists, as in the characters that the viewers of the cartoon series, readers of the comic, or players of the games are going to be:

A) Playing as

B) Rooting for

C) Following throughout most of the adventures.

are as follows:

Sonic the Hedgehog

Miles “Tails” Prower

Knuckles the Echidna

Amy Rose

Mighty the Armadillo

Ray the Flying Squirrel

The first two seem obvious enough, Sonic and Tails are the two spotlight protagonists of most Sonic games and are the two chief playable characters in most games of the Genesis Era. Knuckles should come as no surprise either for the same reason, although I’ll touch on Knuckles later when I assess the protagonists on an individual level. 

I chose Amy as one of the leads because, well, Amy frankly hasn’t seen that much time in the sun as a true character, and I feel like that’s a shame given her longevity in the series, being with us ever since CD. Her most complex appearance was in Sonic Adventure 1 and even then, she’s kinda reduced to the same traits as her white-bread, palid, boring, Genesis counterpart. While I would like to have another female character so Amy isn’t a ‘token chick’, I don’t really want to shake up the formula too much.

Mighty and Ray are a little bit different. With the release of Sonic Mania Plus though, I feel that Mighty and Ray are more relevant now than they ever were, and considering their placement as main characters in Mania Plus, I think that we could really benefit from their addition to the main lineup of Sonic’s friends! Sure, Mighty and Ray don’t have much personality, but maybe this is where we can change that and give these lost stars a chance to sparkle as main characters after spending so long in the shadows of the past!

However, I do wanna state, that I understand if some people feel Mighty and Ray are irrelevant. I get that, really, I do. It’s one of the things in this projected reboot that I feel is much more personally appealing to me than it is ‘what I think is best for the Sonic franchise’. Put plain and simple, Mighty and Ray are just... not as popular as other Sonic characters. And, adding these two to the roster of main characters means that the main character count skyrockets from an easily manageable 4 to 6, which can seem like a bit much to some people I’ll agree, and means that they’ll likely see more screentime than other popular protagonist characters like Cream, Silver or even Blaze. But, at the same time, I also feel that if they’re popular enough to be included in Sonic Mania Plus, then there at least is some interest in the fan community of them being relevant, regular characters again. And, what better niche for them to fit into than being two of Sonic’s close friends again while going on adventures with him regularly?

(Side note, I also felt like including Sticks as a main character, and I may come back to that idea later if I end up making any content for this reboot, but as it stands I felt 7 main characters were just a bit too much, although it would’ve been cool to have a character for each Chaos Emerald, and I think there are a lot of real, genuine comedic possibilities, as well as some unique action choreography from her.)

I also don’t think Sonic’s design or the design of his friends need to be changed around too terribly much for a reboot? (Although there are some characters I think could benefit from a rework, but Sonic and MOST of the main characters are okay imo) There’s a lot of contention on Sonic’s design in any sense but, personally? I think Sonic’s designs can actually be pretty well unified, all things considered. I think Sonic could benefit from a few design ADJUSTMENTS, but maybe not a full-scale redesign like Sonic Boom.

For instance, these early concepts for Dreamcast Sonic are an excellent starting place, as I feel they capture the spirit of all three versions of Sonic pretty well all things considered, save for their quills being a little long. the proportions on them are a little off, however, with a couple of adjustments, I think this could actually be a really good idea.

Nendoroid Sonic is also pretty close to what I think a unified Sonic design could look like, if someone held a gun to my head and told me to pick an ideal new design for Sonic, it’d probably be very close to this.

(Credit to JaysonJeanChannel on DA for this render of Nendoroid Sonic.)

Or, even moving back a little bit, “Toei Sonic“, although kind of overrated in my opinion, is a really nice compromise between the cutesy, cartoony nature of the original versions of Sonic, while still updating Sonic to be more obviously sleek, sharp and spring-loaded for his modern audiences, and is full of personality. That’s not to say I think Toei Sonic should be the new face of Sonic the Hedgehog for years to come, but it’d be a great starting point to work from, given that Toei is a version of Sonic suited for intense, rubberhosy, slippery animations.

In the end, the only thing that truly matters is that Sonic looks like Sonic, and not like a weird little blue goblin if the backlash on the first pass of the Sonic Movie is any indication? We shouldn’t try to fix what isn’t broken, I just think that maybe trying out a hybrid between classic and modern Sonic to see how people feel about it might be a nice compromise between those who prefer Classic Sonic vs. those who prefer Modern or Adventure Sonic, again, unification, the best of both worlds.

That being said, let’s have a look-see into each character individually, shall we? For this, I’ll give a name, my projected voice actor for them, and a little blurb about their personality, as well as a short list of their abilities.

I’ll also try to justify my reasons for some stuff that people may consider odd after all of the character bios.

Sonic the Hedgehog:

Voice Actor: Ben Schwartz/James Arnold Taylor

Sonic is heroic, ambitious, and a complete adrenaline junkie. He'll take on any challenge that's given to him in the history of forever, even if absolutely knows it's impossible or he could get hurt trying to do it or he's absolutely not skilled enough at what he's doing to do it. Hence, Sonic is extremely competitive and gets easily absorbed in things he does, even around friends. Sonic tends to not look before he leaps as he's able to get himself out of situations so easily, preferring to live on his feet without thinking too hard about anything, although he's not dumb by any stretch of the imagination and will slow down and strategize if he absolutely needs to, and will always be willing to slow down for someone in need. Sonic is cocky, snarky, and believes a little too much in himself, he has an ego the size of the sun and will do anything he has to protect his image, especially how he views himself. Sonic also has an incredible amount of attitude and makes fun of people he doesn't like or thinks deserve it with insulting nicknames or cruel jokes, often being sarcastic and witty even at the worst of times to be. Although Sonic tries as hard as he can to keep his cool a lot of the time and prefers to live without consequences or regrets on his mind, when he's angry, sometimes he can lash out at people and can become downright completely rude when upset. Sonic is also something of a juvenile delinquent, often breaking rules just because he can or he thinks it's fun or funny, which often gets him into trouble. Sonic EXTREMELY Dislikes being called 'slow' or things being faster than he is (often wanting to prove his mettle against whatever is faster than him even if it hurts him), and has even less patience for slowing down unless he absolutely has to. He hates to wait and hates to be kept waiting, oftentimes getting bored and leaving in mere seconds if a situation doesn't matter that much to him, although he's known to show much, much more patience when people are hurt, or upset, and has an affinity for relaxing for long periods of time with friends after lengthy expeditions and adventures. Sonic hates to see innocent people cry or have their feelings hurt and will often get  extremely upset at the cause depending on the person/situation, and believes that any situation he can tend to is important (as he often can do things so quickly it's often no trouble for him.) 

Abilities:

Insta-Shield (Allows Sonic to deflect incoming projectiles with precise timing. This also extends Sonic’s hitbox a bit so it can inflict damage, and gives him invincibility frames!)

Wall Jump (Sonic can wall jump, but they need to be timed properly, as when Sonic lands on a wall, he’ll begin to slide, sliding down a wall for too long will cause Sonic to slip and eventually fall.)

Super Spin Dash (Sonic can rev his spin dash up much faster and much more efficiently than other characters, Sonic’s spin dash also has higher maximum propulsion, and will break walls much quicker.)

Super Peel Out

Light Dash (Using the light dash on a trail of rings will allow Sonic to pick up vast amounts of speed instantly by traveling along a trail of rings, being slingshotted out of the trail at an intense speed, the longer the trail of rings is, the faster he’ll be when he comes out of the trail, but also the more vulnerable he’ll be when he’s flung out of the trail. Sonic can also easily reclaim his fallen rings by light dashing, but there’s no guarantee you won’t go flying into the hazard you just tried to avoid when you do.)

Can use the abilities of elemental shields

Miles "Tails" Prower: 

Voice Actor: Collen Villard 

Tails is Sonic's closest friend. Tails is very intelligent and is something of an amateur technician, roboticist and mechanic, although he specializes in work with aircrafts, small-scale robotics, and computer systems. Frequently he prefers a much slower, methodical approach to problems as opposed to rushing into everything headfirst like Sonic does. Often relies on his intuition over instinct. Tails feels he and Sonic hold a kind of 'mutual responsibility' over each other to keep each other safe, hence Tails keeps Sonic out of trouble or from doing things that are REALLY REALLY stupid, but most of the time, Tails likes to indulge in Sonic's antics with him and even enjoys being kind of silly or being a rebel with him. Tails really looks up to Sonic and wants to have the same kind of respect, cool and wit that he does, however, in doing this, because of his low self-esteem, Tails will often ignore a lot of his more positive traits and attempt to mimic Sonic instead in an effort to seem 'cool', which can really make him do some out-of-place or seemingly strange things at times when he doesn't mean it because he can be a little shy to be himself. Tails is a firmly humble inventor and often attributes his successes to the support of others more often than his own work, and he will not ever invent anything for the purpose of competing with someone or for the sake of jealousy, believing that his best work comes from his heart.

Abilities:

Flying (This would be nerfed significantly from Sonic Mania and S3&K so Tails couldn’t just fly over everything. Tails’ gameplay should encourage exploration in more ways than just one.)

Spin Dash

Tinkering (Allows Tails to reverse conveyor belts, turn off sawblades, and do other shit to help him get through mechanical levels.)

Ring Bomb (Short range projectile at the cost of rings, explodes in a small radius)

Remote Robot (Allows Tails to explore places he can’t otherwise get to at the cost of 1 ring per second)

Knuckles the Echidna: 

Voice Actor: Dan Green 

The key word to Knuckles is STRESS. Knuckles is the guardian of the Master Emerald, and boy does he take his job seriously, being the very last living Mobian Echidna, and being very in-tune with his family and extended tribe's history. He has an inherent connection with the Master Emerald that allows him to sense it's location, wherever it might be, if this feeling of his is tampered with only slightly, it sends Knuckles into an incredible, panicked rage that can only be quelled by returning the gem to where he left it, or by retrieving the gemstone from whoever stole or moved it. He will only leave the emerald alone for long periods of time once he is one-hundred percent confident no one will touch it or move it (and even then he oftentimes gets worried about it anyway) and hence, interacts with Team Sonic on a more infrequent basis because of this (although he still has plenty of moments dedicated to him.) However, when not guarding the Emerald and forced to loosen up and relax, one can find that Knuckles is rather stoic and full of quote en quote 'sage-advice' (or rather stuff that seems and can be profound but can also be kind of insane ramblings from someone who spends too much time alone with some rock.) He often doesn't understand Sonic's more urban lifestyle, preferring his more traditional, simple 'off the fat of the land' kind of life, but he's surprisingly receptive to new things (unless said new thing gets the emerald stolen of course.) Knuckles is also incredibly suspicious and paranoid of people, even believing people he's close to having the capability of turning on him, and because of this, he's incredibly gullible when it comes to people 'changing' or 'turning evil' or 'wanting to take the Master Emerald', although he's usually smart enough to not fall for the same trick twice... or at least, not for a while after it happens once. Because of his ability to be tricked so easily, and because tricking him often leads to bad things, Knuckles' temper and patience are very short, and very small things easily can make him very upset. Knuckles actually has a weakness for romance, being such a lonely soul, he often gets shy and acts noticeably different (read: Happier) around people that can charm him, but often won't admit it.

Abilities:

Gliding

Climbing

Spin Dash

Burrowing (works sort of like the burrow mechanic from Sonic Adventure 1 and 2, except Knuckles can remain and move underground for a bit to be invincible, although this ability is very limited and cannot be done on metal or synthetic flooring.)

Melee Attacks (Knuckles can punch things in a short range, nuff said.)

Amy Rose: 

Voice Actor: Kristen Schaal 

Amy is positive, bubbly, loud and honestly kind of a silly airhead sometimes. Although at first, it seems there's very little to her, there's actually a lot more to her than her outward appearance would suggest. Amy tends to not judge people by their looks or by their behaviors, and is very open-minded and emotional, often getting choked up over things she really doesn't need to. Amy is also pretty selfless, willing to help people without any benefit to herself or any reason besides being a good person, although that's not to say she just lets people walk all over her. Amy is also something of a social butterfly, having connections with about everyone anyone else even remotely knows, and can easily tell you all about them and will want you to meet them upon even the mention of their name. Her inherent energy makes her a lot to deal with at once, even people like Sonic, Tails, and Mighty can get tired of her very quickly, even if it's very clear that she means well. She also makes for a great therapist and is willing to help anyone with problems they might be having, even if they push her away at first. However, Amy isn't all the girly girl she seems sometimes and has kind of a violent edge, anyone who pushes her around or says anything bad about her friends is gonna get walloped with her hammer, and believe me, you don't ever quite forget a feeling like being Piko'd by Amy Rose. On this note, Amy also kinda... doesn't know her own strength, and can seem stronger than Knuckles, or even Mighty at times because she just absolutely does not know her limits, expect lots of spine-crushing hugs.

Abilities:

Triple Jump (Amy can jump three times in succession, however, each jump significantly degrades in height boost. Her normal jump will go the highest and her third jump will go the lowest. Because of this ability, Amy also does not spin when she jumps, meaning she can’t defeat Badniks or damage enemies by jumping on them, she won’t take damage from bouncing on them, it just won’t destroy them.)

Hammer Smash (A mid-range melee attack that will destroy most enemies instantly.)

Hammer Spin (Both an Aerial attack to make up for the fact Amy can’t spin jump and a dash attack to make up for the fact Amy can’t spin dash.)

Peel Out (Functions similarly to the peel out in Sonic Advance or Sonic 2: Pink Edition, replaces the Spin Dash.)

Mighty the Armadillo: 

Voice Actor: Beck Bennett/Travis Willingham 

Mighty is one of Sonic's oldest friends and is his foil in a lot of ways. He prefers to take his time with a lot of things and doesn't really mind going slow. Mighty is something of a 'meathead', he's naive, and kinda absentminded at times, even if he doesn't mean to be. Mighty is very strong and takes incredible pride in his abilities much like Sonic. He adores his own strength and quote en quote 'manliness' and will do anything to keep his ego inflated and his muscles bigger than everyone else's' (as opposed to Knuckles who views his strength as a humble reward for his years of training). Despite this, he has a very brotherly (read: dudebro) sense of personality though and likes to call people 'bro' and 'sis', and has a habit of saying 'not cool' when things don't go right or when people wrong him. Most of the time, Mighty's slow and naive ways can make him easily influenced into believing things (like conspiracies and the idea protein powder actually does things), and he's not afraid to speak his mind, often coming off as insensitive (which is how he got kicked out of Team Chaotix), when really, he just doesn't happen to know any better, although most of the time he really does mean well. Mighty also really likes to hear himself talk, oftentimes telling long-winded stories or going on long-winded rants or explanations. He tends to butt heads with Sonic and Knuckles, who get annoyed sometimes by his easygoing, borderline dim-witted nature, oftentimes reminding him of obvious things that are happening/have happened. However, Mighty greatly cares for his friends, and the one thing he absolutely will never bend on is he will not ever hurt someone who didn't do him wrong, and despite his naivety, Mighty's incredible sense of justice always triumphs over his unassuming nature. He's also Ray's best friend and will defend Ray over any other person.

Abilities:

Natural Armor (Allows Mighty to take one free hit from spikes, and defeat spiked enemies without being harmed. If a projectile hits Mighty while he’s spinning or jumping, the projectile will bounce off of his armor. This is only while Mighty is spinning, attacks from the back or while Mighty is running will still land.)

Hammer Drop (A ‘stomp’ attack that allows Mighty to crush most Badniks instantly, and will also instantly crush breakable objects and solid blocks much faster than other characters.)

Spin Dash

Mighty Arm (If Mighty presses an action button near an enemy, monitor or breakable item, Mighty will pick it up. While picking something up, Mighty will move slower and his jump will be downgraded, but he can throw the item to deal heavy damage to whatever it hits! And, picking up certain enemies or items may just come with some surprises!)

Super Wall Jump (Mighty can wall-jump much like Sonic, but upon sticking to the wall, Mighty will hang there, and will only slide down at the player’s discretion.)

Ray the Flying Squirrel: 

Voice Actor: Debi Derryberry 

Ray is neat, quiet, shy, easily disturbed and has a bit of a stutter to his voice. Ray tends to be sort of asocial compared to other members of Team Sonic and prefers not to get in the way if he thinks he's being a bother. However, despite this, Ray is much smarter than he might seem and has a level of resourcefulness to a point that even trumps Tails (who is much more intelligent) at times. Despite being so shy and cowardly, when he gets the chance, Ray is more than willing to do whatever it takes for the greater good, even if he's afraid to do so. Mighty is his best friend, and he gets obsessively worried about Mighty when he's not around, often worrying that he's wandered off or might have been hurt, kidnapped, etc. this often leads to Ray trying to find his friend or panicking that he's 'gone missing', even if Mighty was right under his nose the whole time, ironic, given his intuition and incredibly eagle-eyed nature. Much like Mighty as well, Ray can also be a little bit naive, although usually less so than Mighty himself.

Abilities:

Soaring (Ray will glide and can sweep upwards to gain height at a cost of speed, but also dip downwards to gain speed at a cost of height.)

Lite-Climbing (Ray can climb, and he can climb much faster than Knuckles, but players will need to position themselves carefully, as Ray can’t climb forever, and will eventually slip and fall, the more speed Ray has when Ray collides with the wall, the faster and longer he can climb it.)

Scout-Sense (Ray is able to detect hidden items nearby like Giant Rings, 1up Monitors, and power-ups, once Ray moves close enough to an item, an exclamation point will appear above his head, and the item he notices will be outlined in yellow.)

Dismantle (With similar timing to Sonic’s insta-shield, Ray can choose to land on a badnik instead of destroying it (even if he lands on something like a Shellcracker’s claw or Bubbles when spiked out), and he will begin to unscrew the badnik until it breaks. This rewards Ray with rings or more hidden items, and can make tricky badniks like Asteron and Shellcracker more bearable to deal with! This also works on bosses, except dismantling a boss will only cause a hit of damage to the boss, although Ray can stay latched on to deal multiple hits of damage if he isn’t knocked off!)

Hookay, if you’re not winded by all those character bios, let me try to explain some of my reasoning. I won’t be doing this with later characters because this post is already the size of a fucking dump truck, but, here we go anyway.

Yes. I chose Ben Schwartz over Roger Craig Smith and Jason Griffith for Sonic. No. I don’t hate Jason Griffith or Roger Craig Smith’s voices for Sonic. Yes, I realize Ben is going to play Sonic in the Movie. I know. But, you know what? I think Ben is the perfect person to play Sonic, he’s able to inflect a real smarmy teenager vibe and I DO like that a LOT. But Ben can also play a deeper or moodier teenager too, and I feel like that’s important for Sonic’s character just as much. Jason Griffith and Roger Craig Smith make a 15-year-old sound like he’s 24. Moving on.

I think Sonic needs to not be such a prep sometimes like he is in Colors, Generations, and Forces. Like, I get that Sonic is all about doing the right thing, but, Sonic is also a smarty-pants delinquent who disrespects authority because he can. There’s this great video on the design analysis of City Escape from Sonic Adventure 2 that shows just how much of a jerk Sonic is toward people he doesn’t care for, and how he feels about obeying rules and regulations. I feel being an asshole toward people he doesn’t like, is part of Sonic’s character, it’s just we need to make him an asshole in the right direction. Sonic can be a Bugs Bunny if we let him, it’s just that it shouldn’t be completely overblown... otherwise, we get STC Sonic.

Tails needs to do more things, and not sit on the sidelines like he does in Unleashed, Colors, and Forces. He does things in Sonic Adventure and Sonic Boom, hence this version of Tails is based more on those versions OF Tails. I don’t hate Unleashed and Colors Tails, but I feel the objectively superior version of Tails comes more from Boom (who I also feel captures all of the good things about Modern Tails ANYWAY) and Adventure (which is Tails at his most resourceful, intelligent and helpful.)

Knuckles needs to be not stupid. We can make other characters stupid, but Knuckles is not stupid, Mania made Knuckles stupid and I hate that because it’s never been who Knuckles is. Sure, he’s a bit of a dense knucklehead, but he’s not dumb, just dense, which is my problem with Boom Knuckles. There’s more to his reasons for why he does things the way he does than he doesn’t know better. He’s stubborn, he’s prone to anger, he’s traditional and very much centered on the past he never had, he worries, he panics. I don’t think Boom Knuckles is a bad character, I just think making KNUCKLES the character to get this personality was kind of a bad idea. 

Amy just needs a better-developed personality. Seriously, she’s, already kinda set in stone in terms of who she is, it just needs to be expanded upon. But, Amy kinda already has the groundwork laid out for her with Boom and Modern, it’s just it needs to be molded a little bit.

Mighty comes from the classic era, and he, therefore, has no real, defining personality traits besides being a wall-jumping armadillo. I think Mighty could easily inherit Boom Knux’s personality, (as I feel a character named ‘Mighty’ would have kind of a strongman, meathead personality) but maybe changed up a bit. Instead of being just, dumb, I think Mighty being more oblivious than just stupid is better, plus, at any one time, most of the characters in-game or onscreen are able to deduce what’s going on instantly, having Mighty be a contrast to that is interesting. I also think a slow, easygoing lifestyle is kinda befitting to the Mighty we’ve seen recently, given that he doesn’t seem to emote all that much when Ray finally finds him after he’s been missing for, well, a good while, and doesn’t seem to know his own strength all the time. The only other information I know about Mighty is that he doesn’t like to fight all that much and he’s similar to Sonic, so I tried to include aspects of Sonic in his personality, but also make him kind where he can be.

If Ray’s SegaSonic sprites are anything to go by, Ray just might be a little bit of a scaredy-cat. And, I think this would make for an interesting dynamic between Ray and the rest of the team, he’d make a nice Luigi to everyone’s Mario, a character who is afraid, but willing to set aside his fears for the greater good and even for himself. He’d also be #relatable to the stressed-out teenage and young adult audience he’d be appealing to. 

Side Protagonists

Here are my choices for side-protagonists in this reboot. These are ‘friendly characters’, characters that the main 6 characters regularly interact with, but are just not focused on as much. These characters would probably not be playable (except for Silver and Blaze MAYBE.)

The Mobini

Espio the Chameleon

Charmy Bee

Vector the Crocodile

Cream the Rabbit (and Cheese the Chao)

Big the Cat (and Froggy)

Silver the Hedgehog

Blaze the Cat

Now, I know what you’re thinking.

wHerE’s TeaM DaRK?!

Just, chill out..., okay? I’ll get to Team Dark in a minute.

I’d also like to clarify if this became a series, Silver and Blaze are probably not going to become relevant characters until much LATER in? I feel like Silver and Blaze should be saved for a very specific time in the reboot’s continuity and I’ll explain that later when we get into how I’d set this series’s continuity up, but there’s a very specific reason why I want to save Silver and Blaze for when the time is right, not because I hate Silver and Blaze, but because I think it’d make the most sense.

I also feel like the Chaotix should appear a lot more and play more of an active role in this new hypothetical reboot than they do in most modern Sonic games... and let’s make them a team of vigilantes instead of detectives. A team of vigilantes that uses TEAMWORK!... And combi-rings!

...Oh and while we’re here, let’s make Cheese a Hero Chao, mkay?

But enough talk about general things! Let’s dive into each of them individually!

The Mobini:

Voice Actor: Various, it’s likely mobini won’t need voices so much as varying sound effects.

The Mobini are the local, native, feral fauna of the world of this new Sonic reboot, all your normal birds, insects, lizards, fish, mammals, et cetera are all Mobini. Mobini, are mysterious creatures, as they harbor an inherent connection to the Chaos Emeralds, and are believed to contain small fractions of the Emeralds’ infinite energy. The Mobini are what first drew Dr. Eggman to the Archipelago in which South Island resides, as with this small portion of infinite energy within them, they can be used as organic batteries to power machines indefinitely!... Although this makes them very unhappy. Contrary to what you may think, Mobini are actually sentient, and remember friendly faces... and unfriendly ones too, so be kind! If you’re ever in trouble or lost in the sprawling forests of the Mobius Archipelago, Mobini may just be able to help you out. The most curious kind of Mobini are Flickies, small little birds native to Flicky’s Island and South Island (although they’ve seemed to branch out more recently), who are said to have an even closer connection to the Emeralds, and can even hold a super form! The phenomenon of Super Flickies is incredibly rare, but when it happens, Super Flickies will be more than willing to lend their power to someone who needs it.

Chao are a special type of genetically unstable Mobini that have no ‘Earthly’ counterpart. From the time a Chao is born to the time they pass away, a Chao will gain the traits of its parent, it’s friends, and or it’s caregiver. This makes Chao ideal pets, as their personality will adapt to suit their owner, this makes Chao not only incredibly diverse but surprisingly intelligent. Just be kind to Chao... you don’t want to know what kind of horror being unkind to these little creatures can lead to.

Espio the Chameleon:

Voice Actor: Phil LaMarr

The de-facto leader of the Chaotix, and the most responsible of the team, Espio is a lot quieter than most of the main cast, and much prefers the sound of a rushing, serene stream over loud, punchy rock music. With a powerful, free-flowing fighting style inspired by martial arts, Espio is an honorable fighter, believing only in fighting fair and straight and without exploiting an opponent’s extreme weaknesses. While he tends to be sort of reclusive and becomes easily annoyed by the antics of the Chaotix and Team Sonic, he’s a lot more unshakable than he looks, and actually kind of likes the excitement from time to time. He also has a long, sticky tongue which he happens to be embarrassed by, but sees more use as a tool than he’d like to admit. Espio will often dictate his mood or state of mind to people by changing his color.

Espio’s weapons of choice are giant shuriken, which he seems to be able to pull out of hammerspace.

Abilities:

Color changing

Partial Invisibility (Espio can cloak himself to appear invisible, as long as he stands still and isn’t connected to anything. This ability sees more frequent use when Espio is alone, as it doesn’t really apply much when he fights with his team.)

Combi-Ring Fighting Style

Tornado Spin (Similar to Sonic’s Spin Dash, except Espio spins horizontally instead of vertically, the tornado spin is very slow compared to the Spin Dash, but it’s just as deadly.)

Tongue (Much like Yoshi, Espio’s tongue can be used to grapple onto things with a surprising amount of force, either to pull them toward Espio, or Espio can ‘tongue punch’ things. He hates to do this.)

Charmy Bee:

Voice Actor: Sam Lavagnino (Ideally anyway, I understand if he’d be unable to, but imagine it! Catbug as Charmy Bee!)

A ‘junior member’ of the Chaotix, Charmy is a little bee in training to become a vigilante! However, he’s a little too excited about that fact sometimes. He’s meant to be cute and lovable, but also a realistic child fighting against things he probably shouldn’t be fighting against. It’s hard to hate him when he means so well though and tries his very best at anything he does. In this new reboot, Charmy also gains a small affliction toward electricity!

Abilities:

Flight (no duh.)

Combi-Ring Fighting Style (Charmy is surprisingly adept at carrying his fellow Chaotix members around with a Combi-Ring in hand, with Charmy around this can make for some high-octane, high-momentum fighting due to Charmy being so lightweight and quick.)

Volt Sting (Charmy can use his stinger, and believe me, it hurts. Fortunately, Charmy can sting more than once! and his sting will deliver an electric shock to anything it touches, this is bad news for anything mechanical, or wet!)

Thunder Shoot (Charmy can instantly ground any flying enemy by electrifying an ally and tossing them at the flying enemy!)

Vector the Crocodile:

Voice Actor: Keith Silverstein (Although I’m open to someone else if everyone else if sick of FIND THE COMPUTER ROOM!)

The Chaotix’s greedy, but fiercely defensive ‘leader’ (he’s able to make tough decisions a lot better than Espio, but he isn’t very responsible in many ways). Vector got into the whole vigilante business because of the money he could gain from it, but after meeting Charmy and Espio, his whole world changed, and the rough-and-tough reptile has found a new calling, being a leader. Although Vector is often harsh, blunt, and dismissive, he’s also incredibly resourceful and has an eye for small details, so if he does push you away, it’s likely because he has a hunch on something related to it.

Abilities:

Air Dash (Vector can dash in any direction while in the air. This does not protect him from harm.)

Death Roll (Vector’s trademark donut-like Spin Dash, it’s a bit less controllable than a traditional Spin Dash but it’s immensely powerful because of Vector’s spiked back.)

Combi-Ring Fighting Style (Vector specializes in a ‘wrecking ball’ sort of display with his fighting style, performing a Death Roll followed by his opponents flinging him into something by way of Thunder Shoot or Espio’s speed.) Vector can also achieve the same effect by flinging Charmy or Espio into an opponent, or by ‘holding’ (think Knuckles Chaotix) them.

Fire Combination + Volcanic Dunk* (While Espio is tornado spinning and Charmy is spinning as well, Vector can grab the both of them to make ‘fighting gloves’ of sorts. With this, Vector can perform the Volcanic Dunk, in which he turns Espio and Charmy into powerful fireballs which can smash into enemies to deal tremendous damage!)

*Yes I know this is what Team Sonic uses in Sonic Heroes but do you honestly want Vector Breath to be something that’s regularly used?

Cream the Rabbit (and Cheese the Chao):

Voice Actor: Michelle Ruff (I’d list a voice actor for Cheese too but... do I HAVE to? Chao can be easily voiced with stock squeaks or Chao sounds from SA2.)

A pleasant little girl who seems to get caught up in the ongoing war between Sonic and the forces of evil. Like Charmy, she’s a kid, although Cream is much more patient and polite than Charmy. Cream in this reboot would sorta fill the niche that Tails filled in SatAM, rarely going on adventures, but looking up to the main cast and always being ready to support them in times of need.

Abilities:

Flapping (Cream can flap her ears to gain a little extra height, although it’s made very clear this isn’t exactly equal to Tails’ flight and is very limited.)

Cheese (Cream can sic Cheese on anything she wants, although Cheese isn’t very tough, he’ll do his best until he’s knocked away!)

Big the Cat (and Froggy):

Voice Actor: Jon St. John

Big is large, and not very bright, even less so than Mighty. But he’s terrifyingly strong, he may just be one of the strongest characters in this new reboot in terms of raw damage output, probably second only to Omega actually. But, Big’s not a fighter and prefers to spend his days by the lakeside, fishing with his companion Froggy.

Unbeknownst to him, though, Froggy harbors a dark secret, and, in fact, is the current owner of the tail of the ancient God of Destruction, Chaos. How Froggy exactly came upon Chaos’ tail is unknown, but it’s gotten Big and Froggy into trouble before.

Abilities:

Super Strength

Fishing Sense (Big can sense what kind of fish or how many fish, or even foreign objects or other animals are in bodies of water. It’s unknown how he does or knows this, but he does.)

Silver the Hedgehog:

Voice Actor: Scott Menville

Silver is from an alternate future, a long-forgotten timeline in which Robotnik succeeded in conquering the world, But his massive cities and factories were later laid waste to by the sands of time, and ancient forces of nature, throwing the future Silver resides within into complete Crisis. And now, filled with a sense of vengeance and justice, Silver has come back to the past, determined to find the one responsible for whoever did this to his future, but... there’s just a couple problems. 

He’s only fourteen years old.

Silver is also rather bright-eyed and gullible, and him messing with the streams of time might have a bigger domino effect than he realizes, even if he has no intention of messing anything up.

Abilities:

Psychokinesis (Silver can move, and throw objects with his mind. Silver’s telekinesis is limited only by his focus and stress, as if Silver gets too stressed, he may release some of the objects he’s holding, the same goes for if he becomes unfocused. Using said telekinesis can make Silver very physically exhausted though, especially if Silver moves HIMSELF with his mind, which he can do to hover in the air for a while. Objects held by Silver will freeze, suspended in whatever state they were in when Silver grabbed them, and the objects Silver holds are denoted by a cyan aura.)

Psychic Knives (Silver can condense his energy into crescent-shaped blades of energy, which he can fire off at his discretion, again, only limited by his physical exhaustion)

Teleportation (Silver has the limited ability to teleport short distances, although he doesn’t seem to have a very good handle on it, as he often messes up his positioning and seems to almost... forget he can do it?)

Blaze the Cat:

Voice Actor: Tara Strong

Like Silver, Blaze is from an alternate future. Blaze is Silver’s best friend, but also kind of a sisterly figure to him. Blaze is older than Silver, and is much more reserved, mature and wary than Silver is, although she’s still more than happy to help Silver, and ensure a good future for both him and herself. Blaze is proud, trying to make the best out of her situation by trying and believing herself to be the best around, in a way, she sort of views Silver more like a sidekick, even if Silver does tend to pull his weight.

Abilities:

Pyrokinesis (Blaze can summon, control and is immune to fire. Her ability to do so is limited, although her fires are known to become more intense whenever Blaze is enraged. Blaze can use her fire either for offense by spraying jets of flame from her hands, or defensively by cloaking her entire body in flame, or using the power of fire to float for short periods of time.)

Tornado Spin (Like Espio, Blaze tends to spin horizontally rather than vertical, this, combined with her pyrokinesis, makes her incredibly fearsome to deal with.)

Main Antagonists

You know what the fuck’s going on already. These are all my picks for Major Villains in the reboot. The big bads. The guys who are gonna come in and try to take all those Chaos Emeralds and Time Stones and shit I was talking about and wreak havoc on the peaceful Mobius Archipelago.

They are as follows:

Dr. Ivo “Eggman” Robotnik

Orbot and Cubot

Metal Sonic

Heavy King (And the Hard-Boiled Heavies)

Great Battle Bird Kukku XV

Chaos

Emerl

Mephiles, Iblis, and Solaris

In the end, it was hard to decide on what villains to choose to be big bads, Sonic has so many good ones, but this is what it all bled down to eventually. I feel kinda like Dragon Ball Z or... like, any fucking action anime or cartoon ever tbh. I wanted to give some more underrated villains a chance to shine like Kukku and Emerl, while also bringing back some old favorites like Chaos and Mephiles.

...ALSO, I’M GONNA GET TO TEAM DARK DON’T WORRY!

Dr. Ivo “Eggman” Robotnik:

Voice Actor: Mike Pollock (as if there were any other choice.)

Dr. Ivo “Eggman” Robotnik is the biggest bad in this reboot, as he should be. Robotnik was formerly a young, gentleman scientist, who arrived on South Island with his colleague, Dr. Madonna to study the Mobini that lived there, however, using the grant money meant for his research, and not much caring about nature himself, Robotnik instead betrayed Dr. Madonna to begin forging an empire with his own two hands, an Empire he believed would eventually be able to conquer the world. And he would’ve gotten away with it, too... if all not for a meddlesome blue hedgehog child, who REALLY liked to compare the doctor to an egg. Since his first outing against the blue blur, Dr. Robotnik tried tirelessly, day and night, to get his empire up and into the air, coming back with bigger, and better firepower each time, even succeeding in conquering South Island and collecting six of the seven chaos emeralds at one point, but he was thwarted by this blue hedgehog, and later, his friends each time. This war has gone on for over 5 years now chronologically and maybe more in the actual scheme of things, and all those years of trying have really quite nipped at the doctor, who had gained a significant amount of weight, became a social pariah and had torn all his hair out, save for his mustache, which has overgrown and has become frayed, and the doctor had taken the name ‘Eggman’ as a shallow attempt to mock the blue blur. It’s not to say that Eggman hasn’t succeeded, his conquest and lust for power had bled everywhere, his Badniks, a series of small robots built by him, are an epidemic across the archipelago, he has factories, operations, and eyes everywhere, and Robotnik eventually succeeded in taking one of the Archipelago's many islands for his own, renaming what was once ‘North Island’ into ‘Eggmanland’, this little island is only a twisted glimpse into the madness of what a world under the doctor’s control could look like, his own personal carnival of evil, smog and dust, celebrating him, and only him. It’s these little successes, as well as his never-ending stubbornness and undying believe that man can and will always triumph over nature, that has warped Dr. Eggman from a nefarious, dashing gentleman, into a balding, crazed, nasty old coot. If trouble’s brewing on the islands, and you smell smog wafting by, you can be assured Dr. Eggman isn’t very far behind. To call him a ‘mad scientist’ is an understatement, but even through his delusions and megalomania, he really is a genius.

Orbot and Cubot:

Voice Actors: Kirk Thornton, Wally Wingert

Orbot and Cubot are the Doctor’s trusted aides and second-in-lines, and... probably the Doctor’s only friends as of current. Orbot and Cubot have special AI hand-crafted by the doctor and are arguably his most advanced and most sentient creations crafted by his own two hands. Orbot is serious, intelligent, and bitingly sarcastic, as he was meant to relay information about factories, schemes, and developments back to Eggman, whereas Cubot is dim-witted, slow, and lazy, as he was more meant to perform basic duties like keeping Robotnik’s living space neat and tidy (although he doesn’t always do the best job at this.) However, Orbot and Cubot have become more than that as time has gone on. Unlike the Modern games, Orbot and Cubot can actually hold their own in combat... well, sort of. They have their own unique ‘Scratch and Grounder’ style of dealing with Sonic and Co. and they don’t usually make much progress or get much done in this regard. In this reboot I want Orbot and Cubot’s designs to be updated besides being just ‘ball’ and ‘cube’ so that they can fight alongside Eggman and just look a lot more interesting in general.

Metal Sonic:

Voice Actor: Ben Schwartz (with an intense, robotic filter) if we HAVE to give him a voice. I’d really just prefer Metal to be silent or voiced by music cues and sound effects.

Metal Sonic is Dr. Eggman’s greatest creation. Designed and built by a Dr. Eggman from the future, Metal was sent back in time to aid the Eggman of the past, this, however, proved to be a mistake, as with Metal under his belt, the Doctor became easily overconfident in his victory, thinking now that he had his supposed greatest creation to aid him, nothing could possibly stop him. 

Which made it all the more disappointing when Metal Sonic inevitably failed and was defeated by Sonic.

However, that wasn’t the end of it for Metal Sonic, after being recovered from the future on Little Planet, Metal was repaired, and sent to do reconnaissance on Sonic and Tails during their visit to Mirage Island. In the process of getting there, however, Metal absorbed an artifact while patrolling around the Lost Labyrinth Zone, which superseded the limits of Metal’s hardware, and not only restored Metal to his former greatness but gave Metal something that few of Eggman’s creations can ever claim to have. True sentience. 

Now fully aware of who he was, and what he was doing, Metal easily made it to Sonic and Tails, and upon seeing his organic counterpart for the first time in so long ever since their duel on Stardust Speedway, Metal was filled with rage. Rage, unlike anything The Mobius Archepeligo had ever seen.

The artifact has given Metal all sorts of mysterious abilities, like the ability to manifest a near-indestructible shield, the power to harness the electricity flowing through his circuits to send himself into overdrive and utilize his own overloading as a weapon, and along with being a creation of a Dr. Eggman who has seen the fall of the Earth...

Who knows what kind of sadistic, inhuman thoughts lie behind those synthetic, glowing eyes?

Abilities:

Hyperspeed Thrusters (Metal’s thrusters easily make him as fast as Sonic, and, like Sonic, Metal can still spin, although Metal can also fly with his thrusters.)

Black Shield (Metal can form a defense matrix around him using the power of the artifact he absorbed in Lost Labyrinth, the Black Shield is completely indestructible. Nothing can break through it. Not even something as powerful as Super Sonic could even crack it.) The only caveat is, using the Black Shield renders Metal completely immobile, and unable to attack, and it has a slight warmup and cooldown period.)

Overdrive (Metal can use the artifact he absorbed to utilize the electricity flowing through his circuits to send himself into Overdrive. While in overdrive, Metal Sonic’s entire body sparks with electricity, and Metal can manipulate how he uses that electricity, whether it’s to cloak himself in sparks to beef up his physical attacks or create pillars of sparks and arcs of electricity to attack foes from a distance. The only thing is, Metal cannot do this too much, as doing this can easily cause Metal to overheat, or completely overload and have a ‘blowout’... in other words, explode.)

Heavy King:

Voice Actor: Jim Cummings (Yes, I know Jim did SATAM Robotnik but that’s not the voice I’m imagining for Heavy King. Jim can do more than just Robotnik you know, even though my decision was partially influenced by it being a nice callback. Again, these voice actors are only projections.)/Barry Humphries

Heavy King used to be EggRobo, a robot (which later became a line of Robots) built in the image of Dr. Eggman himself and meant to serve as a decoy for him, and as a stand-in to carry out his own ends.

But the energy of the Phantom Ruby changed that.

Now, Heavy King is the leader of an elite squadron of his EggRobo brethren known as the Hard-Boiled Heavies. They used to serve Robotnik, before breaking free of his control and serving their own ends, beginning a new (albeit, much, much smaller) empire under their own names. He and the other heavies are a force to be reckoned with, few are able to match the ruthless, cold, metallic hand of Heavy King. Despite this, however, Heavy King is known to be much more diplomatic and reasonable than Robotnik, ironically enough, because he believes himself to be vastly superior in every way to organic life. However, his inflated ego pays a steep price if you catch him at the wrong time. However, Heavy King is the current holder of the Phantom Ruby, and that alone should scare you.

(Also I won’t go over each of the Heavies individually because I don’t feel like it, but, I will list their voice actors.)

Heavy Gunner: Patrick Warburton... or at least a cheap impression of him.

Heavy Rider: Eliza Schneider

Heavy Magician: Alexia Khadime

Heavy Shinobi: Seth Green (I picture Shinobi having much more of a nerdy weeb voice than having a serious Japanese accent like Espio.)

Great Battle Bird Kukku XV

Voice Actor: Tom Kenny

A lesser-known big bad, or rather, big bird, Great Battle Bird Kukku XV (he gets upset if you don’t say the full name), is the leader of the Battle Bird Empire, a battalion of birds who, at one point, sought to take over the archipelago in a similar manner to Dr. Eggman, however, Great Kukku XV was thwarted by Tails. Tails, funnily enough, doesn’t remember him at all, in fact, no one does. As a villain, hardly anyone takes Great Kukku XV very seriously, even with his massive armies and capability. Fact is, Great Kukku XV is just a little too immature to be a leader, and hence, he’s not very dangerous. However, his battalion did give rise to a certain, screwy, trigger happy, fellow green bomb-throwing bird who happens to be a defector of his...

In this reboot, there would probably be a lot of jokes about people not knowing who Great Kukku even is, or how dangerous he is, but don’t worry, he’ll get his time in the sun eventually. 

Chaos

Voice Actor: N/A, Chaos only speaks in water sloshes.

Chaos is one of the many original forces of nature that populated the Archipelago many years ago. Legend has it that Chaos was responsible for the mass extinction of the Echidna on Angel Island, and was the one responsible for flooding Hydrocity Zone, and the former Hidden Palace Zone. Chaos was formed when a Chao, who happened to be very old and unhappy due to the Echidna tribes of the day treating his people very unfairly, mutated due to the exposure of Chaos Energy to the Chao’s genetically unstable body. Chaos is a being of pure hate and pure destruction. It’s almost entirely composed of a thick, water-like substance that can take on liquid or solid properties at Chaos’ discretion. His body hungers for Chaos Energy, and he is willing to destroy anything that stands in his way to have it, specifically by absorbing the Chaos Emerald. With each emerald Chaos absorbs, Chaos only becomes bigger, and stronger, becoming harder and harder to defeat. And if Chaos gathers all Seven of the Emeralds? You’d better hope you can find some way to calm this Great Old One down, otherwise, your world may just end up underwater. Luckily, Chaos was sealed inside of the Master Emerald by its former guardian, Tikal, and there he shall remain... for now, at least.

Emerl

Voice Actor: Various (copies the voices of others. To speak it splices lines that it’s heard together.)

Originally created directly to counter Chaos whilst the Echidna tribes were facing extinction, Emerl is a Gizoid, a kind of Robot created to copy the physical data of others. Although one can initially defeat Emerl pretty easily, it’s advised not to vary your tactics too much, as Emerl’s original purpose, and his ultimate capability, is to copy any behavior he’s seen, in order to not only replicate it, but replicate it better, and hence, conquer its original user. Terrifyingly, Emerl can even copy phenomenon that he otherwise wouldn’t, or shouldn’t be able to use, such as Chaos Control, Sonic’s Maximum Speed, or Tails’ intellect. The only thing truly limiting Emerl... is the kind of opponents he faces. And, if you give Emerl to someone who understands him and knows how he works, you may just be dealing with one of the most fearsome fighters the Mobius Archepeligo has ever known.

Mephiles, Iblis and Solaris

Voice Actor: Dan Green (Mephiles only) (This is just because Dan also voices Knuckles ideally but, again, if Dan doesn’t wanna come back to Sonic after being replaced, I understand that.)

If Chaos was the patron saint of water, Solaris is the patron saint of fire. Born from a sacred flame created by the Echidna, Solaris was worshipped by the surviving Echidna as a force that could potentially vanquish Chaos, as the ‘’sun’ to dry the rain. However, the tribes’ malicious intents caused their newly formed ‘God’ to become more of a beast, and it only helped Chaos in driving the Echidna extinct. Solaris later retreated to the bottom of the ocean after all was said and done, slumbering beneath the surface in an underground cave, in a damaged, unstable state.

Solaris has re-awoken twice since this has happened, and both times, his unstable shell split and formed two halves, it’s raw power, known as Iblis, and it’s mind, and spirit, known as Mephiles. The two halves of Solaris first re-awoke in an Alternate Timeline where Robotnik had conquered the world, re-awakening as the folly of the dictator had driven the Sun God’s split soul to awaken when the intense greenhouse heat began to boil the ocean. Mephiles’ primordial form simply died off in the intense heat, but Iblis remained awake, laying waste to the already horrible wasteland that was Robotnik’s Bad Future. Many survivors who reside within this future came to blame Iblis for their problems, even though Robotnik was what had destroyed it centuries earlier.

As for the other time The soul and body of Solaris re-awoke?...

Well... we’ll get to that. Let’s come back to someone I’m sure you’re all waiting for.

Antiheroes

HERE HE IS, OKAY? YOU HAPPY? I was saving him for a good reason! I actually want Shadow (and Rouge, to an extent, she kinda keeps her evil side tbh) to start out as a big bad! After Shadow’s done BEING a big bad though, he’ll become similar to his post-adventure 2 self, specifically how he behaves in Sonic 06 and Sonic Heroes, except with a bit more sympathy. Modern Shadow has a lot of brooding, edgy bite to him, and while that’s cool and all, I feel like there should be more to Shadow than just brooding and standing around crossing his arms and saying ‘tch’ all the time.

Shadow the Hedgehog

Shadow the Hedgehog:

Voice Actor: Anyone that’s not Kirk Thornton. I actually don’t have a good answer for who Shadow’s voice actor should be but, honestly, anything would be better than his current one in my honest opinion.

Shadow was synthesized fifty years ago on a small, man-made satellite called the Space Colony ARK by the brilliant scientist Dr. Gerald Robotnik. He was born from a desire to find a cure for the seemingly incurable disease for his granddaughter, Maria. However, due to an accident when splicing the genes of the quill of a Mobian Hedgehog, and experimental biomaterial found on the fragments of an asteroid that collided with the Earth millions of years ago, the doctor accidentally created something he absolutely didn’t intend, Life. And thus, Project Shadow was born. Gerald felt attached to his creation, viewing the resulting creation, which he called ‘Shadow’ as one of his own. Shadow developed rapidly, quickly maturing into an infant, and then juvenile, yet seemingly normal Mobian Hedgehog. Shadow’s equivalent age later capped once Shadow was done growing, and he remained that way, immortally perfect. The Ultimate Lifeform. Tests with Shadow later showed his destructive capabilities, as it seemed the asteroid’s DNA had morphed Shadow to be far beyond the capabilities of any normal Hedgehog, even in peak physical condition at that age, capable of creating explosions, firing bolts of energy, and even freezing time, appearing to ‘teleport’ in the process. Despite these curiosities, Shadow grew fond of Maria in his stay at the ARK, although Shadow couldn’t help her recover, he did make her much happier. However, a raid on the Space Colony by the mainland’s military led to a massive capsizing of the project, with the intention to destroy Shadow, who was viewed as a dangerous, alien, unholy abomination. Before he could be killed though, Maria shot Shadow down to Earth in an escape pod, where he subsequently landed deep in the jungles of Cocoa Island... but, Maria was murdered in the process of doing so. Shadow was later recovered by Gerald’s other grandson, Ivo Robotnik, 50 years after the tragedy. Hesitant to release Shadow immediately, it’s known that Robotnik has spoken to Shadow in his pod, although about what matters is unknown. For now, Shadow slumbers deep within the confines of Eggmanland, waiting for his proper, strategic time to be unleashed and to wreak his horrible vengeance upon the Earth.

I’ll bring up Shadow again later when we talk about how I project the series to actually go, for now, just sit tight and let’s talk about the rest of Team Dark... and some familiar faces.

Abilities:

Spin Dash

Homing Attack (Shadow can automatically home in on opponents while also performing an Air Dash.)

Burning Rollout (Inspired by the flame ring of Sonic Adventure 2, Shadow can cloak his spinning form in fire by turning on his shoes when rolling, doing this will significantly up the strength of his spin, and make a nice little ring of fire around his spinning form.)

Chaos Control (Can be used as short-distance teleportation, as a way to buff Shadow’s speed immensely, or as a way to freeze or dramatically slow Shadow’s relative perspective of time by dramatically increasing his speed.)

Chaos Spear (These are green bolts of pure, chaos energy. The energy used to form these bolts is so unstable that once hurled at something, the ‘spear’ will likely explode, although, if it doesn’t, it will easily pierce through whatever it hits. Shadow likes to shout ‘DISAPPEAR!’ before hurling these at things for some reason.)

Chaos Blast (Shadow’s Chaos Blast can be considered his ‘ultimate’ attack, Chaos Blast sees Shadow creating a kind of ‘mini-singularity’ with chaos energy that will detonate after a short time, easily eradicating anything caught in the explosion’s radius, even the ground around Shadow. The only problem with this is, doing this is a huge strain on Shadow’s natural supply of Chaos Energy, so a lengthy cooldown period is inevitable.)

and of course, we can’t forget

The Roundhouse Kick

Minor Antagonists

These are characters who are villains but are also more likely to show up in arcs that are only a couple episodes long or are side or off-boss fights. 

I’ll be honest, most of you know these characters already, so I’m just gonna run through them super quickly and give my suggested changes and my justifications for them.

Rouge the Bat

E-123 OMEGA

Dave the Intern

Fang the Sniper (Nack the Weasel)

Bean the Dynamite

Bark the Polar Bear

Rouge the Bat:

Voice Actor: Karen Strassman

Rouge is a thief and a treasure hunter but is also working for the military agency of the mainland, G.U.N. Rouge is sly, sneaky and has a silver tongue, easily able to manipulate people into what she wants by pure wordplay alone. Rouge is a lot less active of a fighter than Sonic and Co. as she prefers to stalk quietly in the shadows, and strike when the time is right. In this reboot, Rouge is gonna wear something a bit more modest. I’m sorry, I hate Rouges’ clothes in canon. That fucking catsuit? has gotta go. She can still look cool and... *gag* “”sexy”” but, I’d rather her not wear... THAT? But, I do want her personality to remain mostly intact because in full honesty? She’s not a bad character on paper. Like Shadow, though I do kinda want Rouge to be a straight-up antagonist at first, and a very greedy one at that.

E-123 OMEGA:

Voice Actor: Vic Mignogna

What can I say? Omega doesn’t need to change much at all, really. He works in about any Sonic setting tbh. He’s loud, and he likes to blow things up, and he doesn’t emote very well, what else is there? In this reboot though, Omega will be the only E-Series Robot, or rather the only... surviving one. And, yeah, like Rouge and Shadow too, I think Omega should start out as an antagonist.

Dave the Intern:

Voice Actor: Ben Schwartz (What? We gotta keep up the tradition of Dave sharing a voice with Sonic!)

An odd choice for a minor antagonist I know, but Dave the Intern is REALLY funny? And I love the idea of a character just hating Sonic for no discernable reason other than ‘he’s popular and cool and I’m not.’ I also thought it’d be cool if Dave frequently got way in over his head with the shit he does, and put himself into trouble that Sonic (reluctantly) had to get him out of. Plus, I really wanted to include some representation of Sonic Boom in this reboot because Sonic Boom as a show is really funny and really good, and I think taking a page from it might be good, plus, Boom is a part of Sonic’s history too!

Fang the Sniper (Nack the Weasel):

Voice Actor: Dwight Schultz

Fang is the leader of Team Hooligan, and in a similar vein to Great Kukku XV I think he’d take himself way too seriously, but would play off of other characters. In Fang’s mind, he’s a trained assassin, like an evil Aussie-accent Batman or something of that stretch. But, really? He’s just a sleazy conman with a popgun. I feel like a good joke to make in this series would be Fang reaching for what he thinks is his actual pistol, but then he’d pull it out and fire it and it’d be one of his fake popguns. And, do I even need to make a joke about the comedic possibilities between him and Shadow using guns? Also, his real name being Nack the Weasel but he wants everyone to call him Fang the Sniper is funny. I’m sorry but ‘Fang the Sniper’ is just a silly name and I like the idea of Fang being the equivalent of one of those nice guys with Otaku Katanas who think they’re WAY cooler than they actually are. I wanted to choose Fang as a minor antagonist in the reboot just because of the kind of character I think he is, he thinks he has everything under control and has all the cards laid out in front of him when in reality, this setup of his just fails dramatically. The kind of interactions between him and Sonic this could spell out are amazing.

Bean the Dynamite:

Voice Actor: Eric Bauza

What do you get when you throw Daffy Duck and Woody Woodpecker in a blender and make him an unstable arsonist? Bean the Dynamite, that’s what. I’d want Bean in this reboot to be an off-the-wall, screwy, but surprisingly resourceful and clever, explosion-crazed maniac. He wouldn’t be... *gag* ‘insane’, so much as he would be just hyper and unable to calm down, again, like Woody Woodpecker or Daffy Duck. He’d be quick-witted, fast-talking and zippy, even more than Sonic himself is. (In the end, Sonic would always outpace him, but the reflexes on THIS bird are crazy.) Also, I feel like the idea of Bean being a defector of the Battle Kukku Armada is just... great, considering they’re all bomb-throwing birds, but THIS one was a little too off-the-handle for even them? He’d be a real character and a surprisingly dangerous threat for Sonic and Co.

Bark the Polar Bear:

Voice Actor: I’m... actually not too sure who to cast Bark as tbh. Mostly because I see him being very quiet and not... speaking, much at all?

Bark is a quiet tough guy. He’s smarter than he looks, but he’s big, he’s mean, he’s tough, and he will Hulk slam at least one character in the length of this reboot. I don’t really have much idea on where to take Bark, I just think he deserves a place as a minor villain.

Projected direction for canon

So, we have all the pieces of the puzzle, let’s see how they all fit together! I’ll be going through these with the assumption that one game can be made to represent each season of the show in its entirety.

For this, I honestly think it would be best if we split this reboot up based upon Sonic the Hedgehog’s current history with its elements. Think, almost, the way Sonic Generations told its story. We’ll start with something with a more Classic Vibe to it, then move into something more Adventure-like, and then, finally, we do something a bit more Modern! It’ll be a little less linear, and we’ll double dip here and there, but it’ll all line up!

Because of this, I’d like to establish what games have already PASSED before going into this series. This is what all has happened going in, in roughly the chronological order they happened in.

Sonic the Hedgehog 1 (16-bit)

Sonic the Hedgehog 1 (8-bit)

Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (8-bit)

SegaSonic the Hedgehog

Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (16-Bit)

Sonic CD

Sonic the Hedgehog 3 & Knuckles

Sonic Chaos

Sonic Triple Trouble

Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episodes 1, 2, and Metal.

Sonic Mania

The intention is to begin sort of... around the time JUST before Sonic Adventure 1 happened in the old rudimentary timeline before Sonic Forces came out and clarified Classic and Modern Sonic were different beings.

Season 1/Game 1: Genesis

The first few episodes of the series will be more dedicated to introducing the characters and Sonic’s new home. We’ll see the new Sonic, the new Tails, the new Knuckles, Amy, Mighty, and Ray for the very first time, and we’ll also get to see some of the characters’ new capabilities as they take on some minor villains or assaults led by Orbot and Cubot for the first couple episodes; but not at all subtly tease at something bigger and better coming, although we’re also shown how frequent scuffles between Sonic and Eggman exactly are, as we see plenty of mention of the Doctor, but he never physically appears.

Then, I’d say at about Episode 5 or 6 out of say, 22-24? Eggman steps in and introduces us to his new Master Plan, as he does. To build a new Death Egg (which, Sonic obviously chides him on doing the same thing a THIRD time.), but, as Robotnik does, he turns out to be serious, and the episodes from there on out are a race against time for Sonic and co. to gather all the Chaos Emeralds from various different zones of various different challenging geographies, fight off villains and giant robots, learn valuable morals, run into some familiar faces, and have a couple laughs along the way.

The climax of the season would come with a few episodes left, where Sonic and Co. finally have all the Emeralds, and they chase Eggman down to the New Death Egg, maybe there could be an encounter with Metal Sonic along the way because nostalgia and to introduce Metal into the continuity, and of course things’ll play out from there, Robotnik gets the upper hand and shows his shit, gets in a giant robot, dukes it out with Super Sonic, and BAM! End of Season/Game!

At the very end of season 1/Game 1 though, I’d like to include a little teaser for Season 2/Game 2 in the form of a familiar-looking escape pod in the middle of a jungle, full of green bubbling fluid, and a flash of red eyes.

Season 2/Game 2: Chaos Emerald Chaos

Right out of the gate in Season 2/Game 2, we’re back in the game as Sonic and Eggman are seen duking it out a while after the first game/season has ended, but in a much different area than we’d seen in Season 1/Game 1. This fight would lead up to the pod in the teaser after Eggman lures Sonic into a dark room with the green glow in sight. By one way or another, maybe on purpose or on accident, this pod breaks open, and something is released from it. Sonic is understandably confused, but then, is knocked down, and a panning shot reveals one of three of our major antagonists for the season/game, Shadow the Hedgehog.

Shadow fucking wipes the floor with Sonic in this first encounter, but instead of finishing him off, Eggman instructs Shadow to leave him be and search for the rest of the Chaos Emeralds instead. Shadow nods and simply leaves via Chaos Control. Eggman, on the meanwhile, begins transporting Sonic back to North Island via dropship, revealing by surprise that this isn’t on North Island, but rather a much smaller place Eggman was using as a trap.

Meanwhile, Sonic’s friends (with Knux noticeably absent) are confused to learn that Sonic has been... committing crimes, upon his return back from a scuffle back with Eggman, and seeming very much unlike himself, always hiding away in the dark and staying away from everyone. When they go to confront him, it turns out that this was actually Shadow, disguised as Sonic, who was simply searching for the emeralds for Dr. Eggman.

Sonic’s friends demand to know where Sonic is, but Shadow kicks all their asses instead, and something about the Master Emerald is mentioned after the fight. We then cut away to Knuckles, who is soon confronted by Shadow.

Shadow puts up a hard fight, but, with the help of the chaos emerald he already had, defeats Knuckles, and goes to take the Master Emerald. But, in a last ditch effort to save the gem, Knuckles shatters the Master Emerald, causing the shards to scatter all across the islands. Shadow, understandably frustrated by this, scoffs and leaves, seemingly fooled into thinking the Master Emerald WAS destroyed. Unknowingly, however, shattering the Master Emerald caused Chaos, slumbering within the Emerald, to awaken.

Knuckles, obviously horrified by what he’s done, abandons Angel Island and sets to work on finding both the pieces of the Master Emerald, and any Chaos Emeralds he can, to stop Chaos before anything goes wrong.

At this point, we go back to Sonic, who finally escapes as the dropship taking him to EggmanLand and, by extension, escapes from the city as he hurries to try to reunite with his friends and tell them what happened.

From there, a combination of the events of Adventure 1 and 2 (with the addition of Metal Sonic and some other characters of course.) would transpire, with Rouge the Bat getting involved with Knuckles due to her finding the shards of the Master Emerald, and the Chaos Emeralds trading hands several times, all up until the Season/Game’s climax.

It would all build with Robotnik planning to use Chaos to terraform the Earth by transforming him into Perfect Chaos, who, once he takes form, begins wreaking havoc on a coastal city on the mainland. At this point, the Chaos Emeralds seem shut off, and even though the Master Emerald is restored, it seems like there’s nothing that can be done. Shadow, having already begun to go through a change of heart when he sees the kind of destruction the doctor’s plans have wrought, and after some choice words from Amy, decides instead to join Sonic and Co. in what seems like their darkest hour. And, Shadow mentions that Chaos only absorbed the negative energy of the emeralds, being in-tune with Chaos Energy himself, he’d know this.

And so, Super Sonic and Super Shadow defeat Perfect Chaos together, Knuckles and the spirit of Tikal work together to seal Chaos back inside the Master Emerald, and the city begins to drain.

Shadow, having felt satisfied with this, then decides to go off on his own for a while, and mentions something about ‘wanting to discover himself’, and ‘trying to decide what Maria would have wanted me to be.’ 

Oh, and Eggman is finally thrown in prison for literally capsizing an entire city. But don’t worry, he’ll be back.

End of Season 2/Game 2.

Season 3/Game 3: Triple Trouble!

This Eggmanless Season/Game would feature a ‘Triple Threat’, in the form of 3 major villains! And all three of them brand new to the series! We’re introduced to Emerl in this season, as well as Great Kukku XV, and Heavy King.

The entire season would be intense, Team Sonic rushing to get the Chaos Emeralds once again, while the Battle Birds (frequently interrupted by Bean the Dynamite, calling out to his ‘brothers’) and Heavies scramble to get them before the team does.

All the while... Emerl grows stronger and stronger by the minute.

And, in a surprise twist, Emerl, having copied the data of Great Kukku XV and the Heavies, among many others, grows the strongest he ever has, and, like Mecha Sonic in Sonic 3, uses the Master Emerald (likely stolen by Heavy King or Kukku at this point) to attain a Super form, and Emerl becomes a terrifying conglomerate of everything that has led up to this point, Perfect Emerl, the thing originally meant to take down PERFECT CHAOS.

But, luckily, Kukku and King realize when they’ve been beaten, and decide to help Super Sonic take down Perfect Emerl. 

End of Season 3/Game 3. But like Season 1, let’s end off on a teaser. How about a small, flickering flame, with a visible shadow?

Season 4/Game 4: Return of Solaris

This is the final season/game I have planned out, although that’s not to say more couldn’t be done with this concept, it’s just about as far as I got. Essentially I was thinking this season could be a retelling and retooling of Sonic 06 with some details omitted or changed up like, for instance:

The romance between Sonic and Elise being outright axed! Matter of fact, while we’re at it, let’s just NOT make Elise a focus character so she doesn’t eat up screentime?

The weird time shit in this season/game being altered with Time Stones instead of Chaos Emeralds!

Less plotholes!

Focus on NONLINEAR timelines with LINEAR storytelling.

Silver is less silly!

Metal Sonic!

The Chaotix! AND THEY’RE HERE TO ACTUALLY BE HELPFUL!

Important Sonic characters being important!

Hey guess what? Eggman’s back and busted out of jail and he’s kicking ass! And he’s totally gonna release Solaris even though that didn’t work out so well for him last time!

Mephiles is still a cool villain! And he gets cool new designs for this series too that don’t stray too far from his original form!

I feel like this season/game would be kind of a hard fusion of Sonic CD and Sonic 06, with elements of Sonic CD being changing the past to ensure the future, and the future/present changing as a result. 

The climax of this series would be, well, you know by now. Sonic getting shot in the back, but then revived using the Chaos Emeralds and Time Stones together. But, even with Super Sonic, all seems hopeless, but, Sonic and Knuckles seem to have an idea, and it leads up, to our grand finale:

Solaris, the extra-dimensional being of ultimate power.

Versus

Hyper Sonic, Super Shadow, Super Silver, Super Tails, Super Knuckles, Super Amy, Super Mighty, and Super Ray.

With Solaris finally felled, Sonic and Co. use the last of the energy of their super forms to do two more things. 

Vanquish the flame of Solaris and Mephiles, and ensure that Solaris may never return to any Time Stream.

Silver’s future, although still broken, now looks much brighter, and the world is saved for the final time.

End of Season 4/Game 4.

I’m sure these ideas could be tweaked or changed around to span more seasons/games if certain characters or aspects of the series become popular, or if demand for certain characters appearing gets to be enough. Sonic has an immense library of games to do over or retell in this reboot, why not? 

And, this is just my idea for it, it doesn’t have to go this way explicitly. My only goal with this was to try to unify the Sonic lore in an interesting, unique manner, but also in such a way that it was new, fresh, and it made sense, most of all!

Opening

This really applies more toward the cartoon part of this reboot, that’s not to say the video game COULDN’T utilize the cartoon’s opening or something, it’s just that the opening is more for the show than it is for the games.

There’s a number of ways to go here, but in my mind, the best way to open a Sonic cartoon? Is the way you’d open a Sonic game. How about a condensed ‘remake’ of Sonic CD’s opening, with a few short clips from the first few episodes thrown in there to get people curious and excited about the show when it first airs?

There’s a cover of Sonic Boom by Crush 40 and Cash Cash just waiting to be used for this very thing!

I also think a condensed (that is to say, censored. I hate to censor a great song but ‘kicking-ass fast’ is a bit much for a show that’s likely gonna be PG-rated.) version of the Zebrahead (aka the BEST) version of His World would make for a GREAT opening.

Or if we wanna piggyback off of the recent success of Mania, how about a condensed version of Friends? Maybe we could even end the intro off on a remake of Sonic Mania’s title theme if we wanna have like, a classic Sonic emblem at the end of the opening.

I’d say the opening should be about... 60% new animation with Sonic platforming around and parkouring like he does or whatever, and about 40% old animation of various clips from the show or maybe even the games if we’re feeling kinda frisky to show off the series we’re about to watch, but also for budgetary reasons and to, again, get people interested in what’s actually IN the show, or maybe we could even do it like Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure’s part 1 opening or something where a couple of important scenes from the very beginning of the show or games are re-animated in a flashy way to achieve the same effect, but also wow the audience. That'd be a huge budget sink though and going a classic clip-show-and-new-shit route may just be the ideal compromise.

Marketing

This next part is also a lot more cartoon oriented, and kinda heavily depends on who’s gonna be sponsoring the show and who’s gonna be running it, but, hear me out.

Part of Sonic’s rise to popularity in the 90s was controversial, competitive advertising. And you know what? I haven’t seen anything really quite like this in a long time (except maybe for cleaner commercials), but, lots of people remember how pushy and in your face these commercials were, and how much they really pushed the superiority of the product they were advertising. So you know what? Let’s bring this back. Let’s bring back Sonic’s violent guerilla marketing campaigns.

It’d be a great throwback as well as a statement about Sonic REALLY comin’ back and comin’ back hot; which might get some new people interested to at least watch a few episodes, and in the process of that, they may find they like the new show/games a lot!

(NOTE: I DON’T HATE NICKELODEON, AND THIS ISN’T EXACTLY WHAT I THINK THE SHOW’S SONIC SHOULD LOOK LIKE, THIS IS JUST A PROOF-OF-CONCEPT OF WHAT I THINK THIS SHOW’S ADVERTISING COULD LOOK LIKE)

Or, if we want to opt for more positive, passive marketing strategies, why don’t we revisit an idea that was misused and make it better?

Idk about anyone else but I actually really like the ‘blue streaks to show where Sonic’s been’ idea that the movie posters did, and I think it has potential to make a really memorable-looking advertisement.

Or, why not opt for a more nostalgic passive approach and recreate some of Sonic’s old box art?

Again, it’d be a great throwback as well as a way to get people interested in the show. Although, if we go this route I WOULD say maybe we should make it a little more interesting than just ‘Sonic 1 pose on a black grid or popart background’? Maybe we should combine these box arts and add the pop-art details for little pops of color while Sonic bursts out of this black-grid frame with a richly detailed drawing of Green Hill in the background? I dunno.

Conclusion

Okay, so. I didn’t get to everything I wanted to explain (like other marketing stuff, merchandising, the new actual GAMEPLAY for these new games, how to write the characters and humor, how I think the general ART STYLE of these new cartoons and games should look, etc.) as a matter of fact, I still have a ton more ideas for this reboot, but, here’s the main point:

Sonic the Hedgehog, right now? Sucks. Because it’s such a mess. It has too many ideas that are going off in too many different directions. The best way to change that, in my eyes, is to start over and try to unify all these broken-up ideas into one. I believe this is possible, while still maintaining a pretty widespread appeal and giving broken, old ideas a second chance to shine, but still being fresh and new enough to have a lasting impact and leave the door open for new content later.

I’m really bad at ending posts like this, but, if you went into this post thinking that Sonic can’t or shouldn’t change, I hope I’ve at least provoked thought on the matter. And, maybe, all those hardworking people at SEGA will decide one day that things need to change, whether by a reboot, rewrite or just... doing something a little bit different.

Maybe then, just maybe.

Our blue blur will really shine again.

- Jenny, of @jennikkugoesoff and @jennikku

[secretshinigami]

Masterlist of Demegawa-chan’s Special Prompts

A compiled list of everyone’s prompts from the exchange – thank you for letting us post them, and we hope you guys enjoy them! Prompts are organized by their submitter, so be sure to give credit if you use one.

niatsuki

Near and Light kissing

Mikami and Light in the rain sharing an umbrella

Misa in a suit

Domestic Mikalight

Matsuda confronting Near on the theory he brings up at the end of the manga

Nate and Light having an obtuse argument, but with romantic undertones

toygowther

Light wearing a crop top, high waisted jeans and fishnets, and a choker. 

L having a nice day out in the park eating ice cream with Maki and Near 

Musical!Light smiling

Misa in a cute gothic dress doing a finger heart

L and Light wearing Misa Misa merch at one of her concerts.

AU in which Light is actually a woman. The fic would follow how Misa reacts to it and if she would still want to be her girlfriend.

Role swap au. Light as Misa and Misa as Light.

Light and Misa meeting a different way and actually forming a healthy relationship. 

spaceblue

L, Naomi & B shenanigans

Naomi, Wedy and Lidner as Charlie's angels (or L's angels?)

Wammy kids as Pokemon trainers

Matt gets the rest of the Wammy kids to play Smash with him

Naomi and L after the end of LABB, after he says his name is Rue Ryuzaki 

Drama!L and drama!Raye Penber bickering 

hazblogs

your take on A's gender and sexuality, bonus points if they're not a cis man and straight

Mello and sun imagery

Beyond Birthday and his eyes

Near with Hanahaki disease (pick who it's about if you want a specific ship)

Mello and witchcraft, if possible in the canon universe

Naomi interacting with Beyond (au or canon), if possible talking about L or the Wammy kids

L/Light being soulmates, in canon or in an AU

how Matt started smoking (I am comfortable with heavy drug themes)

polyphenols

L learning to garden, paint, cook, do taxes, care for an animal, or pay for a parking ticket for the first time

All the times L has cursed Right In Front Of The Task Force (poor Soichiro)

L alone, dressed for the cold, in a cathedral during midnight hours, gazing at the altar in silent contemplation

Aiber and Wedy at an evening gala on a mission

L and Alessandro Juliani warmly shaking hands

Young Naomi in a darkened room with red string and case clippings everywhere

What chain of events led to Quillsh Wammy deciding to adopt L and care for him?

Matsuda cant swim and he’s knocked into a body of water on a case, one of the task force has to go after him

The conversation that happened between L and Rem before he walked out onto that rooftop

L traveling somewhere exotic for a case, meets celebrity of your choice and becomes unlikely friends, takes down crime circle together 

Naomi and L interact side by side as partners during a seperate case  

paralllaxes

16 year old Gevanni (normal day or family banter)

Naomi in modern clothing

the SPK in one of those cheesy family pictures.

Naomi thinking about LABB while in Japan

SPK found family stuff / domesticity

Naomi being with the SPK (with or without Raye is the author's choice)

kiranatrix

Light and L in emo/goth clothes or in an emo band

Light in a crown on a throne

Ryuk doing something funny or playing a prank while invisible

L and Light on a road trip

Misa painting Rem’s looooong nails or giving her a makeover

Death Note characters as birds! 

Sayu gets a grumpy parrot and Light doesn’t realize it can talk until after he hears it repeat some Kira plan thing, so he has to adopt it to keep it from spilling on him

L and Light talk about something important that happened to them in their childhood

L has to deal with growing amount of Light’s products in their shared shower and tries some out of curiosity with disasterous results

Light accidentally eats the last piece of cake in Kira HQ and L can’t deal at 4am

Lawlight Apocalypse AU of any variety 

Beyond breaks out of prison after LABB, where does he go?

47gaslamps

The task force with portentous umbrellas

Halle, symbolically framed between Near and Mello

Naomi kicking Light's butt after he attempts to use force

Matsuda gives Yamamoto a welcome-aboard to the former Task Force / 

AU where the drawer IS forced open

Misa has to shield Light from the paparazzi

translightyagami

Light and L in a crowded apartment, obviously lived in, playing piano next to each other

Light sewing something like his father's suit jacket or a shirt Mikami tore

Indulgent ask for my cryptid AU L and Light sitting in a graveyard having a nice time

Light having a smoke before he has to go tell his parents he's moving in with Misa

Light and Sayu having a difficult conversation where they're both saying they're gay without out loud saying it

Near goes to a Lego building event and meets a nice boy who isn't a Wammy kid

almostsane-things

Wammy's kid(s) of your choice sitting on the roof, watching the sky

Beyond Birthday and Candy Guro

DN characters in a rock band, maybe the shinigami are their mascots

Draw a less appreciated character but try something new with your style/medium. (i.e. use different brushes, incorporate a traditional art/craft like painting or cross-stitch, make a collage piece, go abstract, etc)

L in prison

Misa and Sayu becoming friends/ hanging out

The legend of Kira, how has the story of Kira changed over time in universe? Do people believe it was something supernatural, a government conspiracy, a group of vigilantes, or perhaps it's faded to nothing but a cautionary tale for misbehaving kids

A DN character enjoys that thing you really like/ find interesting to learn about, and shares that interest with someone else. (i.e. Matt plays your favorite video game with someone, Linda teaches someone about gardening, etc)

weneedtotalkaboutdeathnote

A hot double date with BBxDemegawa and LxHiguchi

B meeting L (any context is fine).

Naomi and Raye getting coffee together, having a nice time.

L can see ghosts, but he chooses to ignore them. This becomes increasingly had to do when B’s spirit shows up during the Kira investigation.

An Au where L defeated Kira, grew older, and basically disappeared. Older Mello (mid 20sish, now a detective) follows a lead that takes him to the washed up L. 

Non serial killer, "Unprivate Detective" Beyond Birthday works on a case with Naomi Misora.

pensulliwen

Misa making Valentine’s Day chocolate, perhaps while daydreaming about a fantastically unlikely result of giving them to Light.

Rem holding Misa as they fly over the city.

Meme redraws featuring Misa, Light, and L. Just go crazy. Any ridiculous meme image, shove these dorks in there instead.

Misa convincing Rem to take her flying, the feelings they both experience in the air together.

Misa and Mogi on a shopping “date” in which the unlikely pair manage to work together surprisingly well.

Light considers eliminating Misa from the equation many times, but there’s always something that stops him. Explore how he views her and the dissonance between how he views her versus how he views himself, as well as the reasoning for keeping her around longer than intended. 

izaori

Demegawa in a hot tub but instead of water its money

Mello playing soccer with the other kids (like Matt for example). 

Matsuda playing cookie clicker, because he's obsessed.

Young Demegawa when he first got his job, maybe a few months into the job.

Sayu studying for her big exam coming up so she goes to big bro Light for help.

Ryuk discovers sour green apples rather than just the red ones. Maybe Sidoh discovers dark chocolate/white chocolate at the same time.

mikami

High school age Mikami in a high school uniform.

MikaLight out on a date

anything L/Higuchi

A Sakura TV Documentary about the Kiras. 

MikaLight office romance, non-Kira AU.

Write me a fic about Demegawa. Can definitely be comedy, but please take the character somewhat seriously.

ghostoftasslehoff

L and Light playing piano together.

L with a kitty

Sayu and ‘Ryuzaki’ meeting, and hitting it off 

Matsuda recieving a present or something from a ‘secret admirer’

A day in the life of Matsuda (away from the task force)

L and B’s first meeting (can be shippy or not, whichever my Shinigami prefers)

L tries to engage in punnery with the task force, but only one person engages (preference for Light, but surprise me!)

Sayu’s (or Sachiko’s) thoughts on Light’s new secretive actions as Kira becomes more and more active 

tzigi

(All canon-compliant)

L gets first suspicions about a string of heart attacks which may be a new murder case for him

Light’s first day at To-Oh after L’s death

Light’s first day of work at the NPA 

Near tries to pick up L’s investigation

Why did Near go back to L’s original font for the “L” logo between chapter 108 and the C-Kira oneshot? 

A non-Lawlight rendering of the first evening of Light being chained to L after everyone else has already gone to sleep (preferably in keeping with the One Day one-shot) 

Light begging Ryuk for his life

Light’s funeral

catfishmaster

The main characters (plus B) as DND characters

Older Near (like 25-30) with a bunch of cats he keeps for company

Roger bonding with Near after the Kira case.

Beyond Birthday faked his death in 2004 and now lives alone as a poor and pretty miserable theatre actor with a fake name. Oh, and also it's a Kira wins au.

Years after the Kira case has concluded, L takes on Near as an apprentice.

Matt takes Near on a tour of an afterlife-like world they both wound up in. It's more like a dreamscape than anything else but it serves as an afterlife.  

[dcathwithoutglory-blog]

it’s jay. again. my browser just crashed. so i’m just gonna copy and paste my old intro. there’s no time to try and make it better. rip !

⌊ priyanka chopra, cis woman, antigone ⌉ ⏀ have you spoken to ALEXANDRA “ALEXA” MEHRA recently? the THIRTY-FOUR year old who’s been in seneca for SEVEN YEARS or so? either way, they always seem to remind me of FLOWERS PLACED ON A GRAVE, A RUSTY COMPASS, STORMS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT whenever i see them on main street. on a good day they’re pretty MORALISTIC, but they can also be RESISTANT. ⌊ jay, 19. est, she/her ⌉

the story of antigone that y’all probs already know but jic.

triggers: brief implication of incest but like wbk, brief mention of suicide, death, creon bein a bitch

brief overview of antigone (character + eponymous story):

antigone was born to oedipus and jocasta.

we all know what happened there. after that, oedipus was like “see no evil feel no evil” and jocasta yeet’d out of living.

her brothers went to war against each other. when creon ascended to the throne, he allowed burial for eteocles with honors, but was like “lmao if u bury polyneices i will kill u”

but antigone was like ‘lmao SURE JAN’ and tried to convince ismene, her sister, to help her bury polyneices. ismene was like ‘ok that’s a rly bad idea like good luck but count me out tbh.’

antigone is rly bad at digging graves tho so polyneices’s body was found and creon was like ‘oh my GOD’ and she’s like ‘fuck the government viva la morality!’

then creon was like ‘ok anyway rmr when i said u wld die if u buried polyneices so ig now u have to be buried alive in a tomb’ then antigone was like ‘actually i’ll be hanging myself before u can do fuck the government’

then he was like ‘at least u’ll be dead! oh wait -

Y’ALL GO SAVE EVERYONE’ but then it was too late

antigone and his son had both killed themselves and everyone, including himself, were just like

“get WREKT creon!!!!!”

alexa ( play despacito ).

triggers: suicide (x2), death (x3), mental illness implications, war, brief mentions of torture and murder

ok now onto alexandra ! so, like i did for valda, i looked up names that shared the same meaning as ‘antigone’ (which essentially means “against”) and one of the suggestions was alexa but i also wanted it to sound. super valiant. but at the same time. i wanted it to be something that could have a conversational nickname. so im already hc’ing that she has ‘despacito’ saved on her phone. also alexandra is my middle name so like?? stan list?? OK ANYWAY.

alright, so alexandra was born to a very upper-class family. her father was a politician and her mother was a successful lawyer. they provided well for the perfect nuclear family –– two sons, two daughters, a golden retriever, two cats in the yard life used to be so hard now everything is easy cause of-

like... her early life, say birth to age 14, was... nice. actually normal and nice. have i ever done that before? has my own edgelord ass ever done that before? i don’t think so.

which is why things obviously took a turn for the worse

but yeah. when she was 14, she was like “hey mom idk how to do pre-algebra” (a mood) but there was no response from her mom. so shrug city, you know? she just went to her older sister instead. but like... so much time passed.... and nothing....

finally, this nosy bitch decided to be like “ok i’m gonna go see what tf she’s doing” and that was just... a terrible idea. instead of finding her mom doing her nails or talking on the phone or any number of reasons she may not have come out yet, she found her mother hanging from the ceiling fan.

she tried to get her brothers’ and sister’s help, and they tried so desperately to help (you know, while also calling 911 and their father), but it was to absolutely no avail.

after this hella traumatizing experience, the children grew closer as the father grew farther.

he began getting lost in his own mind, sometimes accidentally mixing the past with the present, a la willy loman style. he would hold slight conversations with their ‘mother’ while at the table, then began holding them with various others from the past. it was pretty clear that his mind had just been looking for an excuse to snap, and the death of his wife had been the perfect scapegoat.

although it had originally just affected him in his home life, he began holding said conversations in the presence of people outside his family.

this is not good for a politician.

i mean it’s not good for anyone but...

his support immediately began dropping. his team gradually left him, finding there was no way he would ever be able to gain another victory if he kept on living in a limbo between the past and the present. given that he’d started ‘talking to his brother’ during one of his speeches... 

rest in peace to his career.

alexa (play despacito) was 18 at the time, her sister - 20, one of her brothers - 21, the other - 24.

they were all legal adults! some of them had even moved out! so their father figured his next move would not affect him in the way their mother’s death had!

so he shot himself.

the only people who showed up at his funeral were alexa and her sister. her eldest brother proclaimed that flying across the country would be too much of a hassle for that, and the other brother simply did not respond.

her eldest brother did, however, enlist in the army after setting legalities in place that would allow him to send money back to his siblings. he had joined simply because it was an easy opportunity (what with all of the propaganda), but his decision prompted the other brother to do the same –– this time because he was talented at ‘the art of fighting.’

and bc more money but like... get wrekt.

alexa’s sister dropped out of college to work a full-time job –– one that paid fairly handsomely. alexa took some odd jobs.

aka, everyone was trying to make money.

creon was right when he said “money! nothing worse”

so things kind of dipped when the eldest brother was killed. after an accusation that he’d become a traitor, their other brother had taken it upon himself to ‘anonymously’ torture and shoot him. but the other side did it!

which everyone knew was a lie.

because of the accusations, he was not only not allowed a military funeral, he was also not meant to be buried in any honorable fashion. instead, his body was returned to his hometown to be buried there following a quiet and uneventful funeral.

his grave was left unmarked.

nonetheless, the grave was visited every day, new flowers laid atop.

meanwhile, their other brother was considered a newfound military icon. he’d gotten rid of a ‘traitor’ (they continued to pretend it was someone from the other side, of course), he’d killed many an enemy, he’d done this and that and this and that and it all made him look so morally grey to alexa and her sister (who, granted, had yet to find out he’d killed their other brother), but like such a white knight to his fellow soldiers.

he truly rose in the ranks. it was what he was meant to do.

but the more he killed, the more he tortured, the lack of grief towards his brother’s death...

alexa’s sister wasn’t buying her hypothesis. it wasn’t necessarily because she saw their other brother was some pure being, but because she simply didn’t believe he was capable of that.

the next time alexa saw her brother, she got confirmation enough. what to do with the information, she wasn’t sure, but she knew she had to do something...

murder wasn’t the solution... she didn’t have any military connections that would allow for her to spout some lie about why he needed to be dishonorably discharged... but what he did couldn’t skate by...

to this day, she is still wondering what she can do to fuck him over. his success in the military keeps growing grander and grander, thus rendering any fake dishonorable discharge excuses completely moot. her sister still doesn’t believe that there really is a solution –– that, while it is greatly harmful, there’s absolutely nothing they can do and ruminating on it is worthless –– trying to find some quest to defeat their own brother is absurd.

although she has since moved to seneca, attracted to its small town appeal, she continues to visit her eldest brother’s grave every week –– it’s about a two hour drive, so it’s worth it.

she’s taken up work as a cemetery caretaker

because of COURSE she would.

and, although its pay is.... lousy, she’s been making due. for the tombstones no one visits any longer, first she’ll look them up to make sure they weren’t slave-owners or anything, she’ll bring them their own flowers. the dead deserve just as much respect as the living, hm?

personality.

i just realized i didn’t do this for valda (aka, i’m about to update her intro with it), but a total enneagram type 2.

too empathetic for her own good, too ‘this person whom i do not even know deserves flowers’ for her own good, too ‘i’ve got to protect _______ by doing _________’ for her own good

a capricorn

so driven by her own moral compass, she does not CARE about anything that says she has to go against it

her moral compass can be super faulty sometimes tho

pretty quick to make assumptions tbh, but has so far been right abt most of them.

so also driven by gut feelings ig

dramatic tbh. i mean she’s the adapted version of a character whose first lines contained “there's nothing, no pain—our lives are pain” SO.

also p independent (as in i said valda was independent), but her vendetta isn’t against men in general, rather just her brother who is still alive

so like,,, that said,,, holds grudges.

im bad at personality sections!! as has been stated before!! but i think the gist has been gotten across!!

wanted connections.

so rn i only have one specific one which is her sister and can be found on the wc page

will come up w/ unique ones later but until then open 2 hearing urs/brainstorming!

tl;dr.

(refer to triggers listed before the bullets.) a lot of death? like mom kills herself then dad turns into willy loman then dad kills himself. brothers both join the army. one brother kills the other brother for being accused of being a ‘traitor.’ said brother doesn’t get a proper funeral and his headstone is unmarked. the other brother rises in the rankings and alexa knows what happened. convinced her sister of it, but her sister is more logical and let her know that she was very angry too, but making her entire life about it would do nothing but endanger herself and others. moved to seneca because she liked the small town feel. still visits her eldest brother’s grave every week to leave flowers. works as a cemetery caretaker bc WHY NOT. brings flowers to graves that are either unmarked or no longer visited. i hope you read all of that and just thought ‘oh my god fckin EDGELORD’ because you’re right.

alright ! fin.

like this or hmu if you’d like to plot !

[freakin-edikan]

More Unpopular Smash Onions

I have a lot of Smash Onions and here are most of them in one post. Be warned it’s long and stupid

Bayonetta Should Not Have Been in Smash Ever

The whole point of Bayonetta is that she whips out these crazy combos and super strong witch tricks to defeat her opponents. The only problem is...barely anyone else can do that because they’re not supposed to because it’s Smash Bros and not Street Fighter. There was no way to nerf Bayonetta without ruining her, and there was no way to keep the Bayonetta feel and style without her dominating the game.

Cloud Should Not Have Been in Smash Ever

He was too fast, he was too strong, he had a projectile. Sakurai specifically said he knew Ike had exactly these stats when Ike was added to Brawl in 2008. He intentionally left them out so as to not let Ike become too strong. But years later, Cloud strutted into Super Smash Bros. for Wii U/3DS with these same attributes anyway. He’s a lot more tame now, but how many Peaches had to die?

The Zelda Characters Got the Short End of the Stick

A game with 30 years of history does not deserve to be represented by three Links, two Zeldas, and one Ganondorf. It’s clear that the development team was banking on the games sticking to its Ocarina formula, which is why they tried so hard to keep all the designs from one game and didn’t introduce anyone who wasn’t a Triforce bearer. By the time they finally stumbled on the idea of giving characters designs from different games, they had run out of space for any newcomers specific to particular games in the series, and the potential for new characters had run out.

I’m aware that Zelda isn’t as popular in Japan as it is in the United States; however, seeing how big Super Smash Bros. and its audience is, I think its representation could be a little better than that.

Zelda Got the Short End of the Stick

You mean to tell me it took 17 years for someone to look at that trainwreck of a moveset and finally do something about it? Y’all ugly.

There Doesn’t Need to be 15,897 Marths

If the devs over at Sora Ltd. played their cards right, our Fire Emblem lineup could have consisted of a balance of characters and assist trophies that could show off the most prominent aspects of the series. My idea is this:

Characters

Marth

Ike

Lyn

Robin

Assist Trophies

A Manakete (from any game)

A Pegasus Knight + Triangle Attack (any game but preferably the ones who made it famous—so Palla, Catria, and Est.)

A main villain (person, any game)

A main villain (monster, any game)

Ephraim?

Micaiah.

...and some cute lil spirits/stickers/trophies with some lore or references or something. If you ask me, we got the characters we got because of poor planning. I might not know the ins and outs of the process, but that’s what it looks like to me.

I Am Singling Out Corrin Specifically

This pick feels like an impulse because of the fact that FE14 was new, but besides that, I (a salty Peach main and Bandana Dee fan) first thought the character was busted. Never before had we a character with such ridiculous range—I thought Shulk’s energy sword Sunday was pushing it. It looks like Corrin set a precedent, though, because tall, adult characters who can reach across the entire stage seem to be the norm nowadays.

The Mario Characters are Out of Character

I think it’s telling when you can’t convey the character of Mario properly. Mario in Smash rather quickly moved away from his friendly everyman balancedness to a very aggressive, very angery Man who apparently just beats the living daylights out of people as the Smash Ultimate music blares in the background. Mario in his games is so much more friendly, eccentric, comical, fun. Smash Mario is way too serious; he doesn’t even smile in his renders anymore. I know, it’s a fighting game; you have to be serious to some extent. I just find this a little odd considering, um...

Peach was pretty similar when she first came to Melee. But when Brawl came around, her headbutt was replaced with hearts, her explosions with hearts, her diplomatic walk with a ditzy skip—it’s all incredibly suspicious. I talked about this before, but I think Smash makes Peach look dumb. I feel like it tries too hard to appeal to the girl who couldn’t pick any of the boy characters because they were icky so she picked the prettiest, girliest girl and that’s Peach. Her character feels like it’s making a mockery of her. (I mean, who remembers the tea time? I remember the tea time.) Nearly all of the nuance in Peach’s character is gone; I like the Toads and it feels like she’s commanding an army, but she herself with the rainbows and the hearts...I don’t know. It makes me. Uncomfortable. Peach has displayed far more competence before; she’s a very intelligent individual, but in Smash it’s not showing.

If I thought Peach was bad, imagine how I feel about Daisy! They barely changed a couple of animations and visuals but no attributes. It feels cheap and lazy and even though she’s an echo fighter, other “clones” had at least a little more thought put into them. And no “Hi, I’m Daisy”??? Preposterous. I think it goes to show that you really can’t make a clone of Peach because her moveset is too unique, and tinkering with it makes it fall apart. I think this was a bad call.

Bowser Jr. seems fine. He’s just a kid with some toys and it shows. Bowser...can at least walk straight, nowadays. But...

Luigi Baby I’m So Sorry That a Ugly Ass Bitch Would Even Do That

So when Smash 64 came out in 1999, Luigi had had his own voice for 3 years. Smash had decided to take Mario’s voice clips and pitch them up instead. This didn’t change until Brawl.

Luigi is Mario’s taller, slippery-er, eccentric younger brother, and Smash played the eccentric up to 11. (I mean, who remembers the Negative Zone? I remember the Negative Zone.) The hip bumps? And the weird dances? And the being able to fall over and be so round that he can just roll back up? I’ve never seen him do that anywhere but Smash. I don’t know who that is with the green hat in Smash. But it’s not Luigi.

The great thing is that he plays like Luigi! But he sure doesn’t act like it. And neither does Mario. And Mario and Luigi don’t play off each other at all, either. They’re so awkward to put together in this game; it’s like an attack on the sibling family unit.

We Don’t Stan Rosalina

We don’t stan her

“We Made Up Lore About EarthBound Hoping No One Would Notice Also We Really Like Pollyanna and the First Eight Melodies and We Exclusively Reference Mother 1 But We Still Won’t Put Ninten in This Game”

Ness is supposed to have defensive and support PSI because he has the highest physical offensive stats—and the lowest IQ—in EarthBound. He can’t use PK Starstorm, or PK Fire, or PK Thunder. He can use PSI Shield and Brainshock and Paralysis and um, PSI Rockin, and though I don’t mind using Ness and Lucas as they are now, I still can’t help but notice how inaccuracy-laden all the EarthBound references were, and that a moveset focused around trapping an opponent to go in for the beat down intrigues me.

Listen, no one else in this game has made-up lore about how their friends taught them certain moves after the end of their game, and how they channeled their big finisher into smaller bursts of energy while taking on the friend’s (much weaker!) signature move as their Final Smash. You could probably explain the magic Zelda uses as they come in crystals anyone could theoretically use, but the framing that they use for Ness and Lucas? It’s pretty silly.

Okay, about Ninten...he doesn’t have to be in Smash. But what’s the point of saying “Mother (Series)” and then making this weird conglomerate of ideas that doesn’t actually get the point across? All three games communicate very different ideas, but hardly any of what’s in Smash portrays any of it very well.

Where’s Bandana Dee

Where is he

Realistic Guns

Joker is about to enter this game with a literal fucking glock and I’m not okay

Final Smashes is the Same

It’s either a Mega Laser, a Giant Stage Hazard, a I’m Gonna Just Ram Into You Like Nobody’s Business, or a Barage of Attacks With One Final Hit. For all the crap I give Peach’s Final Smash, at least it’s different. Oh, there’s a new kind now: the We Stole Snake’s After We Thought He Was Never Coming Back And Oh God He’s Here. Oh No He’s Back. He’s Angry Oh N-

Kirby and Jigglypuff

They haven’t been great for years! I want them back to being good again.

Okay so Jigglypuff was OD’ing in Melee. But insta-death shield break just doesn’t tell me you care about them!

Speaking of Caring About Kirby

I see y’all only putting Kirby’s Adventure and Kirby Super Star content in your game. Look, whoever made Kirby 64 and friends disappeared the same year Sakurai left HAL Laboratory. The new Kirby games acknowledge all of Kirby’s history, and they take many cues from Smash. Smash is a big game, but the least it could do was reciprocate some of that.

The Music Selection is Underwhelming Me So Far

And it’s not the sheer number; I think that’s incredible. My problem is many of the songs are remixes with multiple versions. There are multiple versions of Light Plane from Pilotwings, multiple versions of Magicant, multiple Ballads of the Goddess, a billion Mario Main Themes. There are so many different musicians arranging for these games; are they all sitting there thinking “I’ll do you one better!!” making the same songs again? Some series have one song being remixed over and over while the rest of the soundtrack is just ripped from the original and chucked into the game. Other songs are just weak, which I expect, but they’re just so...mild.

The original music in Smash Ultimate I think is also pretty weak. It’s the same problem Brawl ran into and the only difference is the Ultimate themes are better orchestrated. The arrangement became stale to me and I think it’s because the game is so big that it couldn’t tie itself together as neatly as Smash 64 could (although only one, maybe two people worked on Smash 64’s music).

Stage Hazards

I don’t remember if it’s possible to turn them off but I am tired of the goddamn Flying Man.

So I think that’s about it. Thanks for reading and on the off chance that someone responds to it, you don’t have to go through the entire thing just to pick it apart bit by bit, I don’t want anyone to have to slog through that unless they want to, I guess. Happy New Year!

[aion-rsa]

Best Movies Coming to Netflix in August 2021

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As quickly as the summer movie season of 2021 seemed to come upon us, it’s already about to begin its long, languid slide through the dog days of August into fall. That’s not to say that theaters won’t still have plenty of interesting fare to encounter, with films like The Suicide Squad, Free Guy, Respect, Candyman and The Night House all on deck. Hopefully the other hideous sequel happening at the moment — Pandemic 2: The Delta Variant — won’t set any of these potential hits back.

In the spirit of keeping August entertaining, Netflix is rolling out a slew of new streaming additions as well, including an underrated Spielberg gem, fantastic teen comedies both old and new, a couple of stoner classics and perhaps the finest film from the canon of one of the modern era’s most revered directors. We’ve rounded up our recommendations below, and hope you stay cool and healthy whatever you’re watching!

Universal

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Beethoven (1992)

August 1

Hollywood in the 1990s was a glorious and furry era when studio executives never met a family movie that couldn’t be improved with the addition of at least one animal character. Beethoven is one of the most successful examples of this winning formula. Directed by Brian Levant from a script co-written by John Hughes himself (alongside Mystic Pizza co-writer Amy Holden Jones), Beethoven is basically the story of how a husband and father, Charles Grodin’s George Newton, feels threatened by the attention his family gives their new dog, a St. Bernard named Beethoven.

George eventually works through some of his issues and accepts the charming Beethoven into the family, a process that comes to a head when Beethoven is dog-napped into an animal experiment scheme run by evil veterinarian Dr. Herman Varnick. (Honestly, the plot isn’t dissimilar to the story in cinematic masterpiece Paddington.) The deep supporting cast includes Bonnie Hunt, David Duchovny, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Oliver Platt, Stanley Tucci, and Everybody Loves Raymond‘s Patricia Heaton. The film’s sequel, Beethoven Second, will also be available on Netflix starting on August 1st.

Dreamworks

Catch Me If You Can (2002)

August 1

As one of Steven Spielberg’s most charming and laid-back efforts, Catch Me If You Can is a breezy and star-studded entertainment. The story is loosely based on the real grifts of conman Frank Abagnale Jr., who beginning as a teenager was able to pass himself off as a pilot, lawyer, doctor, and many other things. But really, this is a cat-and-mouse chase movie between a still baby-faced Leonardo DiCaprio as Abagnale and Tom Hanks as the FBI stiff who hunted him down. It’s all good stuff, with the movie enjoying a light touch and fresh take on Spielberg’s favorite subject matter: fathers and sons.

Warner Bros. Pictures

Deep Blue Sea (1999)

August 1

A shockingly entertaining B-movie about a bunch of genetically engineered super-sharks which break out and take over a testing facility, this is horror silliness at its best with great turns from Samuel L Jackson, Thomas Jane, Saffron Burrows and LL Cool J. Partially shot on sets built around the same water tanks used for Titanic, with animatronic and CGI sharks, Deep Blue Sea is action-packed, schlocky fun from director Renny Harlin (Cliffhanger).  

STX Entertainment

The Edge of Seventeen (2016)

August 1

A bit like Lady Bird before there was a Lady Bird, Kelly Fremon Craig’s Edge of Seventeen is an underrated gem that stars a teenage Hailee Steinfeld as a young woman stumbling through an especially awkward time in her life. Steinfeld is terrific in her best performance since True Grit, playing Nadine as a bundle of insecurities, yet still nobody’s victim. Also of special value is Craig’s hilarious and authentic script, which captures the specificity of growing up in the social media age while being near-universal in its accessibility and empathy for a wide ensemble which also includes Kyra Sedgwick, Haley Lu Richardson, and Woody Harrelson.

Paramount

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986)

August 1

Just in time for the dog days of summer comes one of the best summer movies ever. Relying on charm and sharp characterization instead of special effects for its spectacle, John Hughes’ Ferris Bueller’s Day Off is a truly great teen comedy that follows the easygoing bon vivant (or secret sociopath?) of a high school’s senior class when he decides to take the day off in the best fashion: by faking he’s sick and then guilting his BFF into giving him the keys to his dad’s Ferrari.

Read more

TV

Should Netflix’s Pokémon Live-Action Series Explore the Franchise’s Dark Side?

By Matthew Byrd

TV

Never Have I Ever Season 2 Review: This Netflix Teen Comedy Deserves to Run and Run

By Louisa Mellor

It’s silly yet curiously honest stuff about the pressures of young adult life, at least in 1980s suburban America, and a beguiling showcase for an ensemble that includes Matthew Broderick in his coolest role, as well as Alan Ruck, Mia Sara, Jennifer Grey, and a seriously stoned Charlie Sheen. If you haven’t seen it yet, you’re due.

Warner Bros. Pictures

Inception (2010)

August 1 Still Christopher Nolan’s most complete and satisfying film to date (yes, even more so than The Dark Knight), Inception is a cerebral sci-fi set of stacking dolls combined with a rollicking James Bond adventure that all happens to be mostly situated inside one guy’s head. Leonardo DiCaprio leads a team of professional thieves who steal things from people’s minds — only this time they’re hired to implant an idea, even if they have to dive deep into the mark’s subconscious to do it.

Mind-bending imagery and several jaw-dropping action sequences are wrapped around a surprisingly emotional core, with only the usual unwieldy exposition there to remind you that there are some things Nolan may never get right.

Lionsgate

The Lincoln Lawyer (2011)

August 1 Based on a novel by crime writer Michael Connelly, this gripping, suspenseful 2011 drama arguably kicked off “the McConaissance,” a shift from rom-coms to more serious roles by Matthew McConaughey that launched a new, largely acclaimed phase of his career.

McConaughey is formidable as attorney Mickey Haller, a slick lawyer who works out of his Lincoln Town Car and undergoes a crisis of conscience as his new case starts to feel disturbingly like an old one. In addition to McConaughey stepping up his game, this Brad Furman-directed thriller is the kind of character-driven, literate melodrama we don’t see much on the big screen anymore — although we see plenty of them these days on, of course, Netflix.

Paramount Classics

The Machinist (2004)

August 1 Director Brad Anderson followed up his cult classic 2001 horror effort Session 9 with this surreal, Kafka-esque psychological thriller. Christian Bale plays Trevor Reznik, whose inability to sleep leads him to cause an accident at his industrial job that costs a co-worker (Michael Ironside) his arm. Already physically and mentally deteriorating, Reznik begins an even deeper descent as he tries to unravel what’s happening to him and why. Bale is intense and viscerally shocking as the emaciated Reznik, with his riveting performance anchoring an atmospheric, visually striking film that is sometimes an exercise in style over substance.

New Line Cinema

Magnolia (1999)

August 1

Boogie Nights pushed director Paul Thomas Anderson into the spotlight, but it was his massive, sprawling jigsaw puzzle Magnolia that made him into a superstar filmmaker. Following multiple narratives and numerous characters all finally brought together by a climactic storm of frogs, this is high art packed with standout moments.

Read more

Movies

Top Gun: Maverick Footage Shows Tom Cruise in Real Jet Behind the Scenes

By David Crow

Movies

Best Modern Horror Movies

By Don Kaye

Tom Cruise is electric as a toxic motivation speaker, Julianne Moore is brittle and tragic as a trophy wife who has grown to love her dying husband, while the burgeoning relationship between Melora Walters’ addict and John C. Reilly’s cop added sweetness and hope to a tale of messed up people and damaged families. Epic.

Sony PIctures

Pineapple Express (2008)

August 1 After its trailer introduced everyone to M.I.A.’s amazing “Paper Planes,” Pineapple Express’s work was already done. It didn’t even have to produce a satisfyingly funny movie on top of that. Thankfully the filmmaking team of Seth Rogen, Evan Goldberg, and David Gordon Green decided to give us one anyway, because Pineapple Express is the ideal of the little-seen-or-attempted stoner action comedy.

Rogen stars as process server and marijuana enthusiast Dale Denton, while James Franco portrays his annoying drug dealer Saul Silver. When the pair witness a murder, they are forced to flee hitmen, a pair of corrupt cops, and worst of all, Danny McBride. The Rogen/Goldberg comedy catalog has very few misses and this one is particularly excellent.

Universal Pictures

Seabiscuit (2003)

August 1

No one would ever accuse Gary Ross’ Seabiscuit of being subtle. With its voice-of-god narration by Ken Burns fave David McCoullough, which helpfully spells out the themes of the movie every few scenes, and its achingly sentimental score and dialogue, Seabiscuit is a Cinderella story which all but asserts its titular race horse ended the Great Depression. Yet Ross captures some of the simple American grandeur of Laura Hillenbrand’s non-fiction source material book, as well as the beauty of this true story where a horse that everyone counted out as worthless was nursed by three men into becoming one of the greatest racing animals of all-time.

It’s the type of feel-good yarn that won people over in the 1930s and which is still winning now. When coupled with a handful of strong performances, including from Jeff Bridges, Chris Cooper, Tobey Maguire, and a seriously underrated Elizabeth Banks, you have a crowd-pleaser that actually pleases.

Paramount Pictures

Team America: World Police (2004)

August 1 Roger Ebert’s one-star review of Trey Parker and Matt Stone’s Team America: World Police sums up the film’s nonsensical political stance nicely. “I wasn’t offended by the movie’s content so much as by its nihilism,” the great film critic wrote.

Rog was right to criticize Team America’s incomprehensible worldview. Nearly 20 years later, its seeming position that Alec Baldwin and Kim Jong-Il are equally bad hasn’t aged that well (despite Mr. Baldwin’s best efforts). But it’s hard to argue that the South Park creators’ nihilism doesn’t lead to some great comedy. The novelty of Thunderbirds-style puppets saving the world amid graphic sex acts and voluminous barfing never quite wears off.

The post Best Movies Coming to Netflix in August 2021 appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[sincognito]

Grave Heart | Prologue

Pairing: Papyrus (Undertale) x Papyrus (Underfell)

Universe: Undertale and Underfell

Warnings: None for current chapter

Overview: A small hiccup in space and time sends Boss through the multiverse and into Undertale. The world seems to be nothing short of sweet and rosy, but every rose has its thorns.**Co-written fic by Sincognito and Madmusemagister**

A/N: This is the first part of a new fic co-written by myself and @madmusemagister ! We will be taking turns writing this fic. This chapter was written by: Madmusemagister and NOT me. I have permission from the author to post their work on this account!

Read on AO3! HERE

Coming out of the forest, Boss immediately realizes something is strange. The snow is white and pristine other than footsteps, hardly a speck of dust among it. Everything feels too… cheery. He heads towards his house, but is shocked to find that someone has replaced his expert traps with puzzles! And not even well made ones! A literal child could solve these in minutes! In his disgust, he refuses to solve any of them, just jumping around them instead.

 It isn’t until he sees some weird, grinning, soft imposter that it truly sinks in that something is very wrong here.

 “Wowie! Yet another me! And this one is pointy! Hello pointy me! I like your boots!” the faker says.

 What is he playing at? Is he trying to flatter me? Why? Boss huffs at the other, but sticks his chest out anyways. “Only the finest style for someone as great and terrible as I! What’s your business with me?”

 His eyes scan over the other. Much like Boss, his spine is quite exposed from the front, but unlike Boss there’s nothing protecting the back of the spine either. Other him is also wearing a scarf, which Boss approves of if only for the sake of not being a hypocrite. However, beyond that the other’s clothes are absolutely ridiculous! That “armor” is flimsy at best and he doubts it’d offer any more protection than cardboard. And, well, the guy isn’t even wearing pants. Thankfully his weirdly round doppelganger has the decency to cover his pelvis with some kind of… bowl shaped thing, but beyond that he’s just wearing tights. Boss is pretty sure literal paper could cut those. Admittedly the other’s boots are probably a bit more functional for the slush and ice of Snowdin and the marshes of Waterfall, but they look silly!

 Then Boss’s mind stalls as he processes something. “Wait, what do you mean ‘yet another me’?”

 “Oh! Am I the first one you’ve met? Wowie! Welcome to Undertale! Nyeheheh!”

 Boss narrows his eyes and prepares several sharpened bones for a ruthless attack! “Explain, now.”

 The weird him grins, “Oh! Are we sparring? Great! You can go first!”

 Boss’s jaw drops open in sheer incomprehension. He doesn’t understand this other monster, not in the least. Something’s wrong here. He doesn’t like it. His attack stalls.

 “Hmm? Oh! Did you want me to take the first turn instead?”

 “What are you going on about!” Boss snaps, stomping his boot in the snow.

 “Sparring, I think? I’m guessing it works differently where you’re from?”

 Boss’s temper snaps. “You will explain to me what is going on this instant or I will skewer you!” He doesn’t have time for this. He has to go patrol in his world and try to keep monsters from rendering themselves extinct before they can even get the last soul. The mutts that make up the rest of Snowdin’s guard sure aren’t going to do it! Plus, without him there, his 1 HP brother might as well go around naked with “free EXP” written on every bone in his body.

 “Oh! Yes, I can do that! You see, one way or another this universe came to exist. Unfortunately, even someone as great as the Great Papyrus knows not how the universe came into existence. However, I know that from there, many offshoot timelines began to occur. Some are almost exactly the same as this world but with minor, largely inconsequential changes such as everyone having fabulous boots, and in others the similarities are purely superficial with the fundamental rules of the universe having been changed.”

 Boss glares at his apparent counterpart, but the other doesn’t flinch at all from his wrathful gaze. Boss wants to say that means he’s telling the truth, but the utter lack of reaction disturbs him more than it should. He huffs and shifts his weight to one foot, hand on his hip.

 “Alright, let’s say I believe you. What other versions of us do you know?” Maybe they’ll be more helpful than he is.

 “Well there’s Stretch, Hickory – you kind of remind me of his brother actually, but much taller and more handsome – there’s this one universe with a giant mirror, one with a line on his face, the spikier counterpart of that one, and, wait…” the other regards him for a moment, then gasps, “Are you the spiky counterpart of me? Nyeheheheh! It’s so good to finally meet you!

 “Oh, just a few ground rules, this universe is very not-murdery so please no killing! If a monster tries to fight you, make sure to wait your turn, and then spare them! Some are a bit moody, but usually they’ll get over it if you ACT a bit.

 “In this world, it’s spare and be spared!”

 Boss just stares. His mouth opens. His mouth closes. Nope, he’s done with this nonsense. Monsters who aren’t murdery? Does this squishy him even know what monsters are? They’re called monstrous for a reason! He refuses to believe that this world is really the sugar bowl this other him is making it out to be. Besides, what are all these monsters planning on doing when a human passes through? One sufficiently nasty human could clear out the Underground!

 “Okay take me back home where things make sense now.”

 “You’ll have to come with me to get Sans. The Great Papyrus is great at many things, but my brother is better at quantum physics.”

 Boss grumbles, but acquiesces and follows the other. Letting an unfamiliar monster trail him like this, especially with his spine on display, not looking around, chattering about inane things like spaghetti and game night and candy, obviously this other him is a naïve idiot. He couldn’t even scare a Whimsun! Well, maybe he could spook this world’s version, but the ones from his world would probably just eat his fingers and run off.

 With startling ease, they get to the other him’s house. It’s quite… festive. Seriously, who needs this many lights? His house is practically a beacon! Soft him fumbles through his inventory for some keys – at least they have that small precaution – and Boss glances over to the two mailboxes. One is seemingly empty, and the other is overflowing!

 “Are you ever going to answer your damn mail?” Boss snips.

 “Oh, that’s Sans’s, and I’m going to guess no.”

 “What’s he got in there?”

 “I don’t know! I’m not going to root through someone else’s mail like a savage!” Finally, Papyrus produces the key and sticks it in the lock.

 Inside is, well, just as uncanny as outside. It fills Boss with an unpleasant feeling he can’t quite place. It looks like his house down to the rock on the table and the sock with the sticky notes, but it’s also not similar in the least. It’s too bright, the color scheme is wrong, the notes are more annoying than threatening, there’s not a single hole in the place, there’s no carefully constructed cage around the rock prisoner, and it’s just wrong.

 The entire world seems to be some sanitized, sugar coated parody of his world, and he doesn’t trust it for a second. There’s no way it’s as sweet as it seems, no possible way! It must be like that spider bitch Muffet, sweet outside with a rotten core. He just has to find it, then everything will make sense again.

 “Are you alright, pointy me?”

 “I’m fine. Where the fuck is your bro?”

 “Considering that I’m here, I’m guessing that he’ll pop into his room seemingly randomly in a few seconds. I just have to open the cabinet and he’ll play his, ugh, trombone.”

 Boss doubts that’ll work, but weirdly round him does just that and on cue a weirdly round version of his brother plays a surprisingly intact trombone. Other him forgot to mention the dog though. There are now a few holes in their floor from his bone attacks.

 Other Sans comes down, surprisingly unphased by Boss’s arrival. Boss snarls at him, but he just chuckles.

 “Down Fido.”

 “I AM NO ONE’S DOG!” Boss screeches, summoning dozens of bones pointed straight at the fake brother. He wouldn’t actually go through with it, it’s his brother, even if it isn’t, but wrong Sans probably doesn’t know that.

 Then suddenly he’s wet. Other Papyrus has procured a spray bottle and is currently spraying him with water. “No! No attacking Sans! He only has one HP! Bad edgy me! Bad!”

 The attack fizzles as Boss sputters indignantly. “I AM NOT A CAT EITHER! Even if cats are obviously superior!”

 “I know, but it works with edgy Sans, so I thought it’d work with you too!”

 Boss throws his hands in the air. “I’m done! I’m just done! Do whatever the fuck you do and get me back to my world already!” He plops down on the couch and crosses his arms.

 “Language!” other Papyrus snaps.

 “Eh, not really feeling like it,” soft Sans says. The little brat dares to sit on his legs. Big. Mistake. Edge hurls the skeleton across the room, but his impromptu flight is stopped short by his counterpart turning San’s soul blue. Other Sans lands on his feet, much to Boss’s annoyance.

 Other him takes the worst Sans and they go do a thing, he doesn’t know nor care as long as it gets him home. Until then he… has nothing to do really, so he busies himself with cooking. They don’t have much variety, but they do have pasta ingredients, so he goes with that. He finishes up right as they walk in.

 “Alright, think I found what world you’re from. It’s called Underfell by the way, apparently. Dunno how these names work, but they do. Just hop in the machine,” harmless Sans says.

 “Finally!” Boss says. He stomps down and follows this weird joke that looks kind of like his brother. He’s a little surprised to see that other him isn’t here. He’s… disappointed? Tch, no, he doesn’t get disappointed. That other him is just an enigma is all. An enigma and a joke, a parody that while unnerving, also serves to be rather amusing and at least partly helpful. More than that though, he’s a puzzle. This whole world is, and while the way his world works necessitates traps, well…

 He’s always loved puzzles.

 Sans seems to read the questioning look on his face as he says, “Sent him to go get some spare parts. Didn’t want him following you back. Heh, you’re a bit rough around the edges, aren’t you?

 “Here’s some advice.” The other Sans’s eyes go completely dark, grin seeming to widen to the point of being maniacal. “Go home, never come here again, and leave my brother alone. He doesn’t deserve to get caught up in all your Fell-verse murder bullshit.”

 Boss scoffs, “I’ll do whatever the fuck I want, you little gremlin, and your brother is an adult, he can do whatever the fuck he wants. Now then, if you think I’m getting into some weird gadget, then you’re sorely mistaken.” He shoves the other in. “You first. How the fuck do you work this thing?”

 “Like hell I’m going to-”

 “Do it or I’ll dust you.”

 The Sans pauses, then hisses out, “Red button. Always the red button.”

 Boss nods and presses it. There’s a flash, and a distinct lack of dust, so he judges it, if nothing else, to be his best bet to get home. He finds himself in a room he only vaguely visits and sees the blue gremlin scrambling to put together their own version of the machine.

 “Asshole,” dislikeable Sans huffs.

 “Fix it well you hear me, or else you’re never getting home.”

 If the multiverse is really a thing, then there’s no way in this long-forsaken world he’s going to stay ignorant of it. He’s the Great and Terrible Papyrus after all, and he’ll go wherever the fuck he damn well pleases!

 But for now, he’d best inform Sans and the others that he’s back.

[righteoustuff]

Luaka Bop and John Lurie’s Lounge Lizards

“I have no interest in running a record company. That’s the last thing I want to do,” moans John Lurie, cult movie star, fashion plate, saxophonist and founder of the Lounge Lizards. “I just wanted to get my own stuff out, you know?”  John Lurie

Granted, the Lounge Lizards’ music is neither radio-friendly nor easy to categorize, which Lurie believes has rendered the band as an outcast in today’s tight-fisted industry. Yet, this hip, genre-hopping band of downtown renegade jazzbos has built up a healthy fan base over the past two decades, both Stateside and abroad. So Lurie has established Strange & Beautiful Music to service the outre needs of those fans. After disappointing experiences with labels like Editions EG and Island, Lurie tried marketing the Lounge Lizards’ 1989 album Voice of Chunk   strictly mail order via the band’s 800 number. His savvy placement of tv ads for the album during popular late night shows helped net over 25,000 in sales; a relative smash hit, considering the huge percentage of profits going to the artist (as opposed to the miniscule share that artists are generally granted by record companies). His parting with Island had been less than amicable. “They still haven’t sent statements for the first three years we were with them (for 1986’s Big Heart: Live in Tokyo  and 1987’s No Pain for Cakes ),” he complains. “But I guess that’s par for the course.” Following another failed marriage with a record company, this time with the German Intuition label, which released two volumes of Live in Berlin  (’93 and ’95, respectively), Lurie was about to abandon hope of ever recording again. “Nobody else wanted this stuff,” he says. “And quite honestly, I feel like I have a gift, you know? And the gift doesn’t end if I just play this music in my apartment. I feel obligated to get it out there. I feel like even if I write the best music in the world I’m a failure if it doesn’t have any effect on the universe. So I feel obligated to get it out.” That’s when David Byrne and Luaka Bop came along. A Warner Bros. imprint that specializes in world music exotica, Luaka Bop seemed like the perfect refuge for the Lounge Lizards in 1996. “We had just done a three-week run at the Knitting Factory, which was sold out every night,”recalls Lurie. “The band was sounding incredible. And then David Byrne came to me and said, ‘Can you make us a record of this material you’re doing?’ At the time I just felt that Luaka Bop was exactly where we should be. So we made this record for them. But then everything turned ugly. It would take 20 minutes to tell the whole story. It amounts to Yale Evelev, who runs the label, and David Byrne saying things were going to go one way but having no business promising that because all the decisions were ultimately up to Warner Bros. It was disgusting.” The next much-anticipated Lounge Lizards release, Queen of All Ears, sat on the shelf for over a year before Lurie was able to get out of his deal with Luaka Bop and put the record out on his own Strange & Beautiful Music, which he formed in January of 1997. The album is a typically enigmatic and sophisticated blend of styles. Traces of Monk, Trane, and Ornette bump up against klezmer and cartoon music. Add in elements of Gershwin-like swing, burundi tribal beats, African juju and gnawan music from Morocco and it’s a little easier to understand why Lurie considers the band unsignable in today’s conservative climate. Lurie’s total disdain for an industry that he perceives to be rampant with hacks, morons, and incompetents eventually forced him to gain complete control over his music, including the packaging and marketing of it. “To have some nitwit like David Byrne telling you what should be on the album cover…it’s just appalling, you know?” Lurie says. “But it’s not even David Byrne in most cases. Usually it’s like…god knows who…Mr. White Man With Small Penis telling you what he thinks should be on your album cover. It’s absurd! (The cover of Queen of All Ears  is a disturbing/intriguing painting by Lurie himself.) “And the really appalling thing,” he continues ranting, “is that these record company guys are complete losers. Not only are they jealous of musicians but they’re inept at their job. They’re inept at selling things; they’re inept at figuring out what will work. In the record business, people move to the level that they can’t handle, you know? Maybe it’s like this with the aluminum siding industry, but I don’t think so.” Lurie says he has no intention of signing artists and building a roster. “I think for now it’s going to be a vanity label,” he says of Strange & Beautiful Music, which is being distributed in North America by Koch and by several independent distributors overseas. Aside from the recently releasing Queen of All Ears  and the soundtrack to Fishing with John  (his mock travelogue tv series aired on the Independent Film Channel and Bravo network), Lurie will re-release Voice of Chunk  along with soundtracks to Stranger Than Paradise, Down by Law,  African Swim, and Manny and Lo . He also plans to record new material later this year with the current edition of the Lounge Lizards (Tony Scherr on bass, Mauro Refonsco on percussion, Doug Weiselman on clarinet and guitar, Jane Scarpantoni on cello, Michael Blake on tenor sax, Steven Bernstein on trumpet, Calvin Weston on drums, Evan Lurie on piano, and John Lurie on saxes). “This band is probably the best I ever had and the most kind of love, kind of unified vibe,” says the head Lizard. “I’m really pleased with it. Basically, I’m pretty lucky. I’m making a living doing creative stuff, you know?” Lurie’s come a long way from his “fake jazz” days with the first edition of the Lounge Lizards. He’s evolved into a fine player, an accomplished composer, charismatic bandleader, and record company exec to boot.

November 1, 1998April 25, 2019 – By Bill Milkowski

[smokeybrand]

Suicide Pact

I kind of really, really, want a Mass Effect trilogy remake on the next gen systems. After seeing the Lumen in the world of Nanites tech demo, my brain was a-tizzy with possibilities. We know that the next Sony Spider-Man game is going to run on the PS5. We know there is going to a next gen version of Cyberpunk and Ragnarok Creed. The power of these consoles is stupid and you  can do so much with them going forward. Why not remake Mass Effect with the current tech? It’s been 13 years since the franchise was first released. Two console generations have passed since it’s started. Plus, a remake on this new hardware could rinse the bad taste Andromeda left in people’s mouths.

I’s be dope to revisit a retooled Mass Effect. I have all of the games and they’re some of my favorites in all of games, but that first title was sh*t in the mechanics departed. I owned a PS3 so i didn’t get the first game until after i beat the second and third, so imagine my f*cking surprise when the damn thing didn’t play at all like it’s sequels. That sh8t was infuriating. But, as i understand, the actual game mechanics took a backseat to the “revolutionary” dialogue tree, even though Jade Empire, Dragon age, and KOTOR had already done something similar, years before ME was even a thing. Still, the seeds were planted and an entire world was born. The narrative, world building, and character development were definitely the strengths of that first game and i approach it like an errant pilot that’s not as good as the production show but dope enough to sell the franchise.

Mass Effect 2 is a goddamn masterpiece and legitimately one of the greatest games ever created. This sh*t saw Bioware in their final form, hitting that stride into legendary status. I loved everything about this game and that’s saying so much because i f*cking hate shooters. I bought ME2 on a whim and it sat in my pile of games fro a long ass time. It wasn’t until ME3 was announced that i decided to actual play through it and, holy sh*t, my world was blown wide the f*ck open. The combat was completely different than the first, a fact i would find out much later, but the story gripped me almost immediately. That opening sequence? yeah, i felt that and i hadn’t even played the first game. all o knew about Shepard was through culture osmosis and sh*t. ME2 was my first foray into that world and i was immediately impressed. I found the story, itself, to be an incredibly interesting narrative but it was the characters that made this game. They make the franchise. I immediately fell in love with Tali the second she spoke for the first time. I wanted to wrestle Jack all over the Normandy just to see her laugh a few times as she thoroughly wiped the floor with my ass. I thoroughly enjoyed watching Miranda grow from icy b*tch into a stunning, espionage, queen who may or may not be a little morally dubious. I can sit here and gush all day about my adoration for Mass Effect 2. This sh*t is a classic and absolutely deserves a next gen treatment.

Mass Effect 3 is an interesting case. I enjoyed the game for what it was but there’s a lot to be desired toward the end. It has some of the best storytelling and fan service in the entire franchise but, f*ck, did they whiff that landing. Look, i love ME3, don’t get me wrong. Tali is still best girl but i absolutely adored revisiting my other relationships to see how they matured over time. Just a note, Liara’s romance in 3 is f*cking dope. Tali all day but f*ck if Liara didn’t worm her way into my heart just a bit. The problem with ME3 is that it’s the first game to really get the EA sabotage. If you;re a gamer, you know what i mean. EA bought Bioware just as Mass Effect 2 was getting underway. They’re the reason the entire franchise was soft rebooted during the second game. For the most part. EA left ME2 alone but these motherf*ckers dug in immediate;y when the third title began production. The story didn’t suffer but a really, really, unnecessary multiplayer component was shoehorned in. They tried to tie it to overall narrative progress but that only lasted for a few months. An update that “fixed” the ending that ES mandated, too, made the multiplayer mute. Hell, if you play like i do, you didn’t even need the f*cking thing to get the best ending. Rise and grind, man. Years of JRPGs forged me for that fire, bro.

And then there was Andromeda. F*ck, dude. Look, i like Andromeda. I like Andromeda in principal. There are a lot of great ideas here. I was interested in the new galaxy and where the narrative was going. That said, literally everything about Mass Effect: Andromeda is less than the original trilogy. Sh*t’s not even bad, it’s just less. Sure, there were bugs all over the place and the facial animations were outright bunk, but all of these issues can be traced back to EA and their meddling. See, unlike ME2 and ME3, EA was straight f*cking over Bioware from before the start. They moved all of the A-team over to work on the absolute bust, Anthem, instead of making the best ME game they could. That left the b-team, the motherf*ckers who made the absolutely lackluster ME3 multiplayer add-on, to make an entire Mass Effect game. Big Yikes. Okay, benefit of the doubt. Bioware Montreal is still Bioware. Okay. This thing was in production for five years. EA forced an engine on them that wasn’t optimized for the type of game Mass Effect is so, literally, Bioware spent the bulk of that production time tweaking the engine just to get the motherf*cker to work. The game, itself, was rushed to completion in just two years. That is NOT enough time to create a proper Bioware game, let alone a mass effect. EA literally crippled a mainline mass Effect title before it even had a chance, which sucks ass because i was mildly infatuated with Cora.

The next gen allots Bioware the opportunity to give the original trilogy, the FFVIIR or REmake2 treatment. I’m not saying remake the titles exactly as they were, i’m saying make the game you wanted to make back in 07. Build the worlds you wanted. Make them as dynamic as you pitched all those years ago. Create a uniform gameplay style through the entire franchise. Incorporate what you learned from Andromeda while tossing out more problematic additions. The Unreal Engine 5 is more than powerful enough to render the world that was originally envisioned and the systems, themselves, can definitely power through the content like champs. Hell, revisit the narrative and give us that Dark Matter plot that got shelved in favor of that weirdly unattached Reaper climax from ME3. The world has caught on to EA’s bullsh*t. The combination of Battlefront 2′s complete, worldwide, loot box, throttling and the rampant success of the micro-transaction deficient, single player, story driven, Jedi: Fallen Order has shown that the market for dope, narrative focused, games is thriving. This sis some sh*t Sony has known for years as that’s their bread-and-butter but this turn in culture has positioned Bioware to recapture that glory they once had, by revisiting the franchise the really gave them their shine. And, oh, how shiny a next gen ME trilogy remake would be.

[mastcomm]

Storming the Catwalk in an L.L. Bean Boot

It was the impregnable fortress of heritage labels. Behind its clapboard walls lay an unlikely grail. Let international designers like Junya Watanabe and Demna Gvasalia have their way with Red Wing, Filson and North Face. Nobody touches L.L. Bean.

Until this week, that is. Though scores of others had tried without success to breach the resistance of a staid and privately owned Yankee institution, in the end what worked for the Midwest-born designer Todd Snyder was, he said, a healthy dose of “Iowa nice.’’

Thus, for the first time in its 108-year history, L.L. Bean will appear on a runway, as a core element of Todd Snyder’s fall men’s wear show, the tent pole event of New York Fashion Week: Men’s.

L.L. Bean has had prior dalliances with capital F fashion, though these amounted mostly to superficial tweaks. Just over a decade ago, the company hired Alex Carleton, a designer named at the time by GQ and the Council of Fashion Designers of America as one of America’s best new men’s wear designers, to revitalize its fusty image.

Mr. Carleton, best known until then for the hipster bro styles turned out under his Rogues Gallery label, reimagined the L.L. Bean classics for a 200-piece men’s and women’s Signature collection.

Fits were updated. Minor adjustments were made to staples that remained so familiar that they hardly seemed to have been designed. Fleece linings and olive waxed-canvas uppers were added to Bean’s duck boots, rendered as knee-highs. A Matinicus Blue Rock pullover introduced at about the dawn of yacht rock was stealthily slenderized. Red-and-black buffalo plaid Maine Guide shirts were updated to suit the Paul Bunyan legions braving the pickle aisle at Smorgasburg.

Still, no one ever managed to coax Bean onto the catwalk until Mr. Snyder came along.

“I have to say, I’m shocked,” said Lisa Birnbach, the author of “The Official Preppy Handbook.” That book, which was published in 1980, had the distinction of exporting to a broader culture the sartorial folkways of what was once a wealthy Eastern elite. The book not only boosted L.L. Bean’s bottom line, but also fostered the creation of successful imitators like J. Crew.

“I thought putting a shawl collar on the Norwegian sweater was about as far as things could go,” Ms. Birnbach said.

For her, the notion of L.L. Bean appearing in a fashion week presentation amounted to “an essential conflict on a molecular level.”

“I mean, are they fashion or are they gear?”

The answer is neither and both, according to Owen Kelly, a vice president for the brand. “We are very loyal to our core customer and true to our outdoor ethos,” Mr. Kelly said. “But this is an opportunity to take our classics and flip them, push them forward.”

The risk lay in fixing what isn’t broken. For the fiscal year ending in February 2019, L.L. Bean reported annual net revenue of $1.6 billion, an increase of 1 percent over the previous year. The company’s board of directors then approved a performance bonus of 5 percent of annual pay for its approximately 5,400 employees.

Still the temptation was great, as Mr. Kelly said, “to put Bean in front of a different set of eyes,” although not in a way that would result in something resembling gold lamé Top-Siders

Of all the successes among heritage brands, few have exceeded that of the traditional boat shoe with white soles incised in a pattern of chevron grooves. Designed in 1935 by Paul A. Sperry (he got the idea for nonslip boat soles from the grooves in his dog’s paws), the Top-Sider was patented in 1940 and changed little across the ensuing decades until, in 2009, Band of Outsiders collaborated with the Sperry label on novel fabrications.

Almost instantaneously, the shoe became regulation footwear for urban consumers (subset: gay, male), people who likely could not tell a jib from a boom.

Sperry went on to collaborate with labels including Jack Spade, Noah and, most recently, the neo-prep brand Rowing Blazers on fashionable iterations of its utilitarian nautical footwear.

And, perhaps inevitably, these collaborations resulted in the appearance last year of Top-Siders with metallic leather uppers, a style that would have gotten you tossed out of the Hyannis Port Yacht Club back when John F. Kennedy (a Top-Sider aficionado) was racing his schooner across Nantucket Sound.

“We get offers all the time to work on collaborations,” Mr. Kelly said. “High fashion and luxury brands approached us, but we’ve never really dipped our toe in the water before.”

So, what changed for L.L. Bean, the quintessential Yankee brand, founded in Freeport, Maine, by Leon Leonwood Bean, in 1912? “Todd shares our values and our mission of getting people outdoors and into an active American lifestyle,” Mr. Kelly said.

For Mr. Snyder, the brief was simple. “Don’t insult them, and at the same time take them to a new place,” the designer said of the three-year run-up to this week’s show, and a collaborative process begun in the extensive L.L. Bean archive in Maine.

The results were culled from meticulously organized collections of old catalogs, blankets, hunting gear and garments from most decades of the past century (including some belonging to the founder, L.L. Bean, a notably natty dresser) using a method Mr. Snyder characterized as “forage, find, elevate.”

As in past collaborations with heritage labels like Champion, Mr. Snyder worked shrewd changes on the familiar by toying with proportion, patterns and context. “We did a suit in plaid, added plaid to the overcoats, took all these traditional men’s wear silhouettes and used the hunter camo and duck camo prints throughout,” he said.

He also supersized to Bibendum-scale the puffer vests that were a staple of every college campus in the heyday of preppy dressing. And that style, Mr. Snyder maintains, is due for imminent return.

His L.L. Bean partners and many others in the industry seem to agree. “We’re just at the beginning of a real preppy revival,” said Jim Moore, the creative director at large for GQ and a sometime consultant to Mr. Snyder.

“We joke around the GQ office that we’re not quite there yet,” Mr. Moore added. “It has to be just the right preppy, but you can feel it coming. You can feel that fog rolling in.”

from WordPress https://mastcomm.com/storming-the-catwalk-in-an-l-l-bean-boot/

[therummesoccupied]

1-Upping the Ante: A Review of Super Mario Odyssey

If one was to ask me about my personal philosophy on video games and their design, they would receive a good many thoughts in response, but among them would be an assertion that one of the greatest pitfalls a game, or any piece of art for that matter, can find itself victim to is the lure of a formula. A formula, or a specific set of techniques adhered to in order to create something, can certainly be useful, and arguably necessary, when making a game, but a stubborn over-reliance on a formula can turn out to be one of a game's greatest weaknesses, especially when that game is a part of a running series or franchise. While its true that some games could use a bit more formula (see Sonic the Hedgehog), I believe it absolutely always works in a game's favor to try something new in order to determine how well it worked and how best to use it moving forward. In this way, a series is never stagnant, but continues to grow, bringing an exciting new experience to our screens with each new installment. One series that has proven itself time and time again in the fields of creativity and experimentation is the ever-iconic Super Mario franchise. While Nintendo's flagship face of video games has had his fair share of struggles relying too heavily on a formula (see New Super Mario Bros. 2), Mario has never been afraid to venture into the unknown and try something new, from endlessly enjoyable spin-offs like Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga and Mario Party to main installments with unique mechanics such as Super Mario Sunshine's FLUDD and Super Mario Galaxy's gravity-based physics. The latest installment in the jump-man's adventures, Super Mario Odyssey, absolutely does not disappoint when bringing new ideas to the table. The game cleans and freshens up the existing 3D Mario formula set in place by 1996's Super Mario 64, while adding a slew of new design nuances and mechanics to the series' ever-growing repertoire, and while some ideas could possibly go a bit far, it could be said that to venture far beyond one's limits is exactly what an Odyssey is all about.

When Super Mario Odyssey was first unveiled to the world, what first struck the vast majority of viewers was the manner of the game's presentation. Visually, the game is absolutely stunning. Perhaps it is biased of me to say so, but it seems to me that Mario has been borrowing a couple of the more useful notes from Sonic's playbook, throwing players into environments that can be described as nothing short of majestic, appearing absolutely enormous while still drawing focus to beautiful views that are sure to keep us gazing in amazement from one wonder to the next as we traverse the level's obstacles. The objects and characters in the game look no less brilliant than the world in which they are set. Even Mario, Bowser, and Peach look phenomenal, with every hair in Mario's iconic mustache and every seam in his clothing being rendered and visible to the naked eye, yet somehow maintaining a shape and color that lend themselves to the goofy and easy-going look that the franchise is known for. The rest of the game, however, tends to miss this seemingly-unattainable middle ground. The game suffers from a bit of an aesthetic whiplash, with some areas featuring cartoon-y food worlds or goofy hat-ghosts with lots of bulgy shapes and flat surfaces, while other areas boast enormous, painstakingly detailed cliffs with awe-inspiring waterfalls, or realistic cities full of lovingly modeled skyscrapers and anatomically correct humans. Seeing the iconic plumber so on-model in these environments can be jarring, and at time, leaves the game feeling sadly without a solid identity, trying to be too many things at once. Thankfully, the impact of this issue is lessened, as these environments are presented to players one at a time, giving us plenty of opportunity to take in every world as its own, and gain a strong sense of the idea each area is attempting to convey before needing to move on to the next. Any issue this game has with clashing aesthetics is nicely resolved by its thoughtful pacing and immersive level design.

The story of Super Mario Odyssey wastes absolutely no time, throwing players right into the action and getting the game going as quickly as it starts. This lack of exposition quickly solves any issues that have existed in the series prior with games being slow to start. However, it can also make the plot feel a bit rushed at times, leaving the player confused or wondering which part of the game they're in, if they're still in the early game, or if they've hit the proper progression and have gotten into the game as it should be, or even how much game is left ahead of them. Thankfully, the game tries to streamline the experience of progression by abandoning 3D Mario's usual system of putting players into a hub world and having them select their levels from there. Instead, the game moves forward one level at a time, with a certain number of objectives within needing to be completed before the next level becomes available. Similar to the game's aesthetics, however, the game's tone can vary wildly, generating feelings ranging from shocked and confused, to amazed and excited. Some encounters find a perfect balance between fun and epic, while others, namely a specific boss fight about 3/4s of the way through the game, can be described, comically enough, as “simply too badass to be from a Mario game.” Again, the game's streamlined nature helps to lessen this shock a bit, but the issue of clashing tone remains. Still, one theme the game manages to portray consistently throughout is one of adventure and exploration, something that the game faithfully maintains as its core idea. Every wild or out-of-place occurrence the game throws the player into successfully fits under this umbrella of excitement and ambition.

Odyssey's gameplay succeeds in being the most fluid and clean of any I've encountered in any Mario game. The movement of the game feels nearly perfect, and getting Mario from Point A to Point B is never not an absolute joy. This movement is supplemented by fantastic level design. The game's levels are contained, yet give players tons of room to explore and try new things, and are certainly never without something to do. The game boasts an insane amount of collectibles and activities that might be intimidating at first, but quickly sweep the player off their feet, turning into a never-ending fountain of enjoyment. Within the levels are a number of enemies and objects that can be possessed, or “captured,” the game's core mechanic. Each capturable object displays its function clearly before the player even gets the opportunity to throw their cap in its direction, so one always knows what to expect when going after a new enemy. Every capture has its own specific functions, and are always placed with a specific purpose in mind, though these purposes do not necessarily need to be adhered to, leading to nearly endless possibilities when playing as a new character in a new environment. What isn't endless, unfortunately, is the number of objects available for capture. Contrary to the beliefs of many when the game was announced, players are not given the freedom to capture anything and everything reasonably available to them. Instead, there is a sizable collection of things to play as, leading to “capturing” feeling at times more like a power-up than a core mechanic. In terms of difficulty, the game finds itself toward the easier end of the spectrum, falling somewhere between Super Mario Galaxy and Super Mario 3D World. This is due, in part, to the game moving away from the”life counter” that video games as a whole have relied on for decades. Instead, when a player fails a challenge, they are penalized by losing a number of their coins, a move reminiscent of indie powerhouses like Shovel Knight. While coins aren't necessarily useless, their loss in no way hinders a player's ability to progress through the game. Because of this, many of the game's challenges are far less needlessly frustrating than they could be if a player had to restart an entire level whenever they failed too many times. Because of this the game remains constantly engaging while never getting to be too repetitive. Odyssey's aim of endless fun built on environmental power-ups and low-risk challenge gives it a level of enjoyment that one would expect from a well-built 3D Kirby game rather than a Mario game, but manages to weave flawlessly together with Mario-style movement and platforming.

Super Mario Odyssey, if nothing else, is ambitious. The game attempts to cover a lot of new ground while relying on the most tried-and-true tools at its disposal. Not everything it tries works absolutely flawlessly, but is presented in such a way that it can be not only accepted, but enjoyed, albeit in a different way from the rest of the game. As an attempt to expand Mario's horizons, I would say that Nintendo nearly made the mistake of biting of more than even they could chew. Thankfully, the trademark artistic dedication and clever design that Nintendo's creative team has come to be known for ultimately paid off, bringing an enormous range of ideas together for one exhilarating experience. Is it the best 3D Mario game? Contrary to popular opinion, I wouldn't say so, but I do believe it is the most successfully ambitious entry in a notably adventurous and beloved franchise.