#i tried to be somewhat objective even though my bias is obvious and i know i wasn't entirely successful

[fadedtoblue]

I'd normally just message you about this, but I think it'd make some good meta. What do you think when folks say "Matt belongs with Karen and Daredevil with Elektra" ?

Sorry it took me so long to finish this, as you know with me…I ALWAYS HAVE A LOT OF THOUGHTS. I appreciate the question though and I enjoy the chance to think about this concept more deeply…I certainly made a lot of effort to make sure my reasoning felt logical? Disclaimer: this is going to focus more on DDS2 Elektra than post-TD Elektra because there’s a lot that isn’t entirely clear about where her characterization is meant to go from that storyline. I don’t want to muddy the waters up too much so I’m just drawing the line here now. I might write something separate regarding the end of The Defenders b/c I’m seeing some conversation popping up here and there around the motivations behind that ending but, yeah, not super relevant here. I also apologize in advance b/c I think I’m going to go off on a couple of meta tangents regarding both Karen and Elektra before I get back to addressing the crux of the concept so…bear with me!

Let’s start out by quoting some words from Mr. Cox himself, who was fairly consistent in falling back on some variation of this hypothesis in almost all the interviews I’ve read / watched with him during press for DDS2 – this quote isn’t quite exact to the question, but it’s close…I’m also sure there are better ones, but this was just the first one I had accessible:

With Karen, he’s Matt Murdock. He’s the kind of man he’s always wanted to be. She brings out of him a kindness and a generosity and a belief in law and order, and right and wrong. She taps into something that is the kind of person he’s always seen himself – the kind of person his father wanted him to be. But Karen doesn’t know about Daredevil, and that’s undeniably a huge part of his life.

With Elektra, it’s the opposite. She knows all about Daredevil. She accepts that, and encourages him in a way that no one else does. But she also sees a dark side, or she tries to draw out of him a disregard for law and order, a disregard for people and property, and those things which isn’t who he is.

On a super simplistic, superficial level, yeah – it makes sense. Karen and Elektra were already involved, in very different ways, with the two sides of Matt’s hyper-compartmentalized lifestyle. As a result, I understand why there’s this intrinsic pull to connect Karen with Matt’s ‘day’ life and Elektra with Matt’s ‘night’ life, and then draw the line from that to, “Matt loves Karen, Daredevil loves Elektra” and vice versa. I disagree, however, with the basic premise of Charlie’s statement / this kind of statement in general, mainly because while Karen and Elektra both make very useful props to further illustrate the trials and tribulations of one very confused and conflicted Matt Murdock, you can easily remove both of them from the equation and come to exactly the same answer: which is that Matt Murdock was already a kind, generous man, with a belief in law and order and right and wrong, coupled with an absolutely hypocritical flagrant disregard for law, order, people and property every time he runs out and pulls on that mask. If you look up the word denial in the dictionary, it might as well have Matt Murdock’s pretty face filling up the page. My point is…Karen didn’t make Matt better and Elektra didn’t make Matt worse. Matt was already the man he had chosen to be, and for some reason it seems easier to credit / blame either one of these women for his inherent character traits when in fact, this was the person he already was before either of them came into the picture.

Now, I think a better way to phrase this concept is that Karen is attracted to what Matt Murdock represents, and likewise, Elektra is attracted to Daredevil represents, and that is why Matt belongs with Karen / Daredevil belongs with Elektra. And to this I say….mmmm maybe, maybe not. Based on what we’ve been given so far on the show, one could argue that neither Karen or Elektra have yet had the opportunity to fully experience both sides of Matt Murdock and maybe neither of them ever will. But I think there is enough here to try to figure out whether the Karen –> Matt / Elektra –> DD line of thinking holds water, and whether either of them have a better shot of being the right fit for both sides.

Let’s tackle Karen first.

On paper, there’s a lot that should work between Karen and Matt. It’s sweet and innocent in a way that so many things aren’t in Daredevil’s world. They share a lot of similar qualities – real go-getters for truth and justice and light, stubborn and quite headstrong, but still caring and empathetic individuals. I can see why they get categorized as the nice / healthy / safe option. But the primary problem with all of that lies in the fact that the foundation of their apparent relationship might as well be built on sand – almost everything they think they know and love about the other are at best half-truths, at worse, straight up lies: Matt, a blind, super stand-up handsome attorney with a genuine heart for justice, lives quite the secret double life as Daredevil, crime fighting vigilante with a not-talked-about-enough rage problem, and Karen, sweet, strong, spunky secretary with a heart of gold, has a secret murder on her conscience and an as-yet-to-be-determined dark and tragic backstory that may completely turn our opinions of her on its head. My issue with this is less that they keep secrets – who doesn’t keep secrets in this universe? – but that the image they’ve built up of each other and have become attracted to are very incomplete versions of themselves, and thus renders their relationship sadly superficial in a way they weren’t even aware. Which means the ironic thing about them being the conventional, safe romantic option is that nothing about them is actually that conventional or healthy or safe at all. Their relationship can be summed up by them lying to each other and to themselves about almost…everything, which isn’t a judgement of either character, it’s simply facts.

Now to be fair, from a storytelling perspective, this doesn’t mean there isn’t some hope of salvaging a meaningful relationship even with the deceit (one could argue this is exactly what they managed to do with Matt and Elektra). It certainly wouldn’t be the first time a television show deploys that old trope: two people who thought they knew each other realize they didn’t actually know anything about each other, harshly re-examine everything they’ve built up about each other so they can knock it all down and start from the beginning, etc. But I think the show has laid some interesting track with Karen’s character development, and I question whether pursuing a romantic relationship with Matt would honor that development in a positive way. My interpretation is that Karen, despite her propensity to get herself into very questionable situations, doesn’t actually want the danger. Yes, she finds herself more often than not running toward it, and she has an incredible amount of empathy for those who do not operate fully in the light, but that doesn’t mean she enjoys being in these dark and dangerous situations. She doesn’t want to see people she cares about get hurt. She doesn’t want to see herself get hurt. I do think she accepts that danger is oftentimes an unavoidable part of the process toward uncovering the truth (something that she learned from Ben and I think a huge reason why she worked as hard as she did to get as far as she did with Frank) – that danger in service of that truth can be tolerable, sometimes even bearable to live with. I’m not sure the way Matt goes about it, however, is compatible with her newfound tendency toward self-preservation.

As poorly as the post-DDS2 revelations were handled in The Defenders, I can still appreciate the little character nuggets they did throw out at us to better flesh out Karen’s headspace and motivations. I know the way it played out frustrated a lot of people – it frustrated me too. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that her stance on Matt as DD was not really that far outside the realm of believability. She’s not an idiot or a wet blanket or whatever negative descriptor you want to throw in here. She’s someone who has gone through a shit ton of trauma and wants to feel like she has some control over her life. She wants to be doing something that gives her purpose and fuels her passion (which she has found, through investigative journalism). And here’s the kicker: she wants to survive long enough to do these things. I know, I know, she still gets herself into some pretty crazy situations but I think to her, these situations are worth it if they can fix the things about her that are broken? If they can right the wrongs that lurk in her past, and if they can give her life a sense of meaning and purpose. I just really and truly don’t know what a relationship with Matt would offer her except all of the danger without any of the personal payoff. To constantly wonder about his health and safety and what her proximity to him does for her own chances of survival. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that their relationship only gains positive momentum when there’s nothing else is happening to fuck shit up. But the second any sort of outside stressor gets thrown into the situation, it might as well be like throwing a grenade into their personal growth. And the big reason for the constant imploding of progress always boils down to Matt and his secret identity. Which is such a salient reminder to me that when Karen fell for Matt, she didn’t know about Daredevil and thus was never afforded the choice in whether she wanted to be involved in Daredevil’s shenanigans. Honestly, it’s also not like she knew him long enough or well enough to have him consider her in that part of his life anyway. But this only highlights to me just how damaging these lies and omissions have been and how confusing they are to untangle after the fact, especially in light of all she’s been through personally. This is why I don’t really blame Karen for being wary and self-protective post-identity reveal and why I have to wonder about what positives this could hold for her as a character other than to check off the canon love interest box for Matt Murdock*. 

* A point that is interesting to me when compared to someone like Claire, who while not a comics canon relationship, was still meant to fill in that love interest role in DDS1. People have complained about her not getting her fair share of exploration as Matt’s love interest (a complaint I certainly shared back in S1) but regardless, once Claire had the information she needed to evaluate Matt and what this potentially could mean for the two of them, I think she made the very healthy choice to nope the hell out of there.

Karen may be “better” for Matt…but is Matt “better” for Karen?

And what about Elektra?

At first blush, Elektra represents every violent, id-driven impulse Matt Murdock tries to hide from the world and only chooses to unleash when he dons the Daredevil costume. Her introduction to Matt’s world is of a woman who exists as unfettered passion, of caution thrown to the wind, no thinking – just doing. It’s not surprising that this sort of encouragement leads to stolen cars, breaking and entering, damage of property, and almost-murder. Fast forward ten years later, and it seems that not much has initially changed, that present day Elektra still embodies so much of the young woman who first gave him the taste of pleasure through pain, and conveniently presents as an avatar for Matt’s darkest desires, the one who validates Daredevil’s actions and very existence. The fact that she comes to Matt looking specifically for Daredevil’s help, and ropes him into a crime-centered mission whilst unintentionally undermining the work that he does as Matt Murdock, lawyer, makes it easier to put Elektra in the “wants DD, not Matt Murdock” column. Some would probably take it farther and argue that nothing about Elektra is worth redeeming and that her influence should be kept away from Matt at all costs.

As with almost everything about Elektra, it’s not that simple of course!

I think the first step is looking past the bullshit storyline Elektra got saddled with regarding the Hand and the more superficial backlash toward her character because she had the balls to not only represent but encourage the other equally valid part of Matt’s life as Daredevil (and this can’t be said enough, but Elektra deserves ZERO culpability for Matt’s inability to balance and prioritize his own shit). When you do you’ll find there are quite a few fascinating insights into her character that develop over the course of DDS2, which may not serve to make her relationship with Matt any more “normal” or “healthy” (both terms that are laughable when used in relation to Matt Murdock anyway), but do provide a really crucial prism through which to examine what they could be together.

In my opinion, the thinking that Elektra is good for DD and not Matt is short sighted. Yes, she is an incredibly skilled fighter and appears to have a higher level of respect for Matt’s activities as Daredevil than she does for Matt’s work in law. But is this actually true? We know that Elektra likes to conveniently play up the femme fatale role, throwing in a bit of the enabler / bad influence for good measure. We also know she views the world with much more disdain than Matthew, and has a less stringent moral compass than…well, almost everyone. But as this wonderful post by @xtltokio highlights, at the heart of it (and I’m focusing on DDS2 here) Elektra is actually one of the good guys. And I quote:

Elektra was fighting a war, a bloody, messy and complicated war. But most of all she was fighting for the right side. In addition to being raise to be a Assassin, a weapon, she was also a soldier in a war she believed in. She hated and was terrified of turning a weapon to The Hand.

As a valued soldier in the Chaste army, Elektra is literally all about taking out the bad guys (yes, by killing them), rooting out evil and dispensing justice against the Hand. She’s just quite a bit more pragmatic about it than Matt. And it’s funny – we all know and acknowledge that Stick is an obnoxious asshole but  no one ever questions whether he’s on the right side of the war while he’s cutting down ninjas left and right, do they? But I digress. Now, the flashback sequence in TD 1x07 in particular does a lot to put some of Elektra’s actions from 10 years ago into further context, especially this quote from Stick: “[Not killing] doesn’t make him good, Ellie…it just makes him weak.” What is it that makes Elektra’s moral code so much worse than Matt’s? That she has no hesitation in dispatching people she perceives to be her enemies so that she can keep the people on her side of the war safe? Is her sin that she sometimes enjoys the thrill of the kill (honestly, I still find this assessment to be a little questionable). And what does that say about Matt, who has a strict moral code about not killing, but most certainly derives a certain level of pleasure and willingness to embrace a lack of self-restraint when it comes to violently injuring his opponents?

When it comes down to it, Matt and Elektra are two people cut from the same cloth, coming of age in the wake of trauma and violence, trained by Stick to harness their anger into something deeper and darker and we know one of the only reasons Matt didn’t descend down to the same darkness was because his training was cut short. So we have to realize this is some absolutely crucial context to judge her character by. When we do, we know that for as much as Elektra exhibited unhealthy, and yes, sometimes toxic behaviors in her early relationship with Matt (though it was also in service of a mission and not necessarily indicative of what she would have done on her own), we also know that Matt changed a core part of her being, or if you don’t think it went that far, can at least admit he planted a seed of change within her. And the fact that this inherent goodness within her has been brought up so many times in show canon that I honestly don’t believe it’s incidental. I really believe that even in the wake of The Defenders, making sense of that potential goodness will be a core part of Elektra’s story should she reappear again in the future. And it is within this potential for light that I find possibilities for a successful Daredevil and Elektra pairing, and even more so in one for Matt and Elektra.

It’s funny to me when people say Elektra loves Daredevil and not Matt Murdock because she fell in love with Matt Murdock before Daredevil ever existed. She was the first one to know and embrace the duality in him. She also knows that Daredevil isn’t a separate part of Matt – Daredevil is Matt. Admittedly, it took him longer to understand the duality within Elektra, but for all of his self-righteousness, he never lost his belief in her. Even with the lies, they have never been anything other than themselves with each other. The way they viewed the world, their personalities, their abilities, everything was out there for each other to see and explore. The biggest thing Elektra hid from Matt was her work with the Chaste and relationship with Stick yet even that is the kind of lie that ultimately Matt would 100% understand because of own his history and familiarity with Stick and his causes. And I don’t think this can be said enough, but does anyone remember when Elektra actually develops as a character over the course of DDS2? Like how by 2x08 she has genuinely accepted Matt’s desire for the light, no strings attached? She is GLAD that she didn’t snuff out his darkness? And when Matt asks her to leave, she DOES. She is willing to walk out of his life because he believes they are corrupting each other and as hurt as she must have been in that moment, she does exactly what he asks of her. And remember how she is willing to be convinced by Matt that she doesn’t have to be a weapon for the Hand, and she makes the choice to fight on his side? And how she is absolutely frustrated with his desire to save the Hand hostages because she rightfully identifies it as a trap, but she knows how he is and she helps him anyway. Even Father Lanthom directly rebuts Matt’s statements at the beginning of Defenders, when Matt questions whether Elektra would be disappointed in him for abandoning Daredevil. Because he’s clearly heard enough about Elektra from Matt’s many visits to be able to piece together an image of this mysterious, damaged woman that isn’t just the coldhearted monster people seem to think she is, but the feeling woman who actually cares about Matt’s desires and wellbeing that exists underneath. It’s odd that all of these things seem so casually discarded in favor of highlighting Elektra’s darker tendencies, huh?

If you ask me, there seems to be quite more going for Elektra than initially meets the eye. I fall back on this Elodie on Elektra quote a lot, but I think it sums it up so nicely:

They seem to be very different, but maybe deep down, they are quite similar and that’s where their bond comes from. She comes across as being the bad girl and he comes across as being the good guy, but maybe they’re both somewhere in the middle. Maybe Matthew isn’t that good and maybe Elektra isn’t that bad. They complete each other.

So it all boils down to a few key factors for me.

Let me preface this conclusion by saying that I honestly don’t think Daredevil’s story, at least if they continue to follow the blueprint set up by his very long and robust comics history, includes any sort of Happily Ever After. The closest thing he’s got to any sort of safe and stable relationship is with Foggy and I do think in the end, Foggy will (probably) be the one left standing. But the question is whether there’s any truth / logic / weight in the concept of Matt belongs with Karen and DD belongs with Elektra. And ultimately, I say: no. I believe that just as Karen and Elektra both deserve someone who can fully appreciate them for who they are, Matt also deserves someone who can appreciate him for who he is, for both sides. If you were able to break Matt into two halves, then sure, each of these women would probably be more appropriately matched with one half over the other. But Matt isn’t two people. Matt is one. So if I have to consider which person would actually work best with Matt as Matt Murdock and Matt as Daredevil, Elektra will have the edge for me.

I don’t doubt that they’ll take Matt and Karen back down that road in S3 but as someone who may not ever love this character, but can still respect the changes they’ve done with her, I just can’t see how this is going to work without making Matt into a completely different person, or sacrificing a lot of the strides they’ve made with Karen’s characterization. They’ve done such a stellar job giving Karen stories that allow her to stand on her own, even when she stumbles and makes mistakes and forces me to curse under my breath for the umpteenth time. And it’s not that I feel like she doesn’t deserve to also have romance and softness and love, it’s just that based on all of the things we know about her, I’m not sure Matt can ever give her what she needs, or vice versa. Time and time again, Matt had demonstrated that Karen just isn’t that high of a priority in his life – given the choice between Elektra and Karen, 9 out of 10, he’s going with Elektra. And the sad thing is that I’m pretty sure there was absolutely zero active intent to abandon and belittle Karen, but his actions and his words were always in character, and the message was crystal clear. Sure, there are ways that Matt can certainly be a better person and friend and boyfriend, but there will be limits to that growth because Matt Murdock still has to be Matt Murdock. As long as Daredevil exists and Matt lives his life on the edge of some unpredictable danger, I think that’s just going to be one edge too much for Karen Page. I don’t think they’ll ever be able to eliminate that fundamental disconnect between the sweet Matt and Karen they hypothetically want to be based on the fronts they put on for each other – the one that seems so nice and healthy and safe – and the one that is reality, the frustrating and messy and confusing one where you acknowledge that maybe although they’re two people who have enough in common to be good friends and care deeply for one another, but the future just isn’t there, much like how it ended with Matt and Claire.

Most Mattelektra shippers will be the first to confess that this is no model relationship. We know it’s not healthy. We know it’s messed up. These two clearly have a bond that seems to defy reason or logic and sometimes, even sanity. But even so, at its core, their emotional connection is still rooted in a foundation of unconditional love, understanding, and belief in one another. It’s the sort of thing that leads them to give more to each other than they’d ever been able to give to other people. And because they know each other just that well, and believe in one another to such a degree, they are willing to run headlong into danger and death for it. This bond hasn’t always been used in the best way, nor have they ever had the chance truly be their best within it (I would say that Elektra’s death in DDS2 cut that potential tragically short for now), but I do think this quality gives them a very unique potential to bring out more from each other and to eventually become the best possible people they could be, within the context of their existing flaws and shortcomings. I think it’s more realistic (within the world of the show) to see Matt change himself enough to be a better partner for Elektra without sacrificing the things that make him who he is. And in turn, I can see a similar trajectory for Elektra, where she can also figure herself out and find a purpose for her life with a freedom that she was never afforded before, but also have someone who is supporting her and encouraging her along the way (mostly) without judging her.

*goes back to see what the ask was about* SO YEAH. Does this answer your question? Who the hell even knows.

But now you get to read my very long thoughts and you (and anyone else) can feel free to tell me what you think…I’m even open to some respectful discourse and disagreement as long as it doesn’t devolve into trashing my ship. I know I’m not as emotionally invested in Karen’s journey so maybe my reading on her is off…if I am, I’d love to hear some other takes. I’m just glad I’m done writing this thing :D.

[theorynexus]

Fifty and Four sends us cresting over the hill, if we weren’t already. How long until we hit the bottom?

Oh ho? Jane’s perspective again, huh?  ‘t’s been a while.

EEEHHHH?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!   Oh gosh, oh gosh, oh gosh, that is not good!

Rrrrgh, she does not need to be building up a habit like that!    The consequences of such use are far too severe and unpredictable, even if you don’t consider the potential negatives to one’s psychological health. >.< Gosh... even with her Life aspect probably protecting her a little bit from its sugary after-effects, reading that makes me feel sick.  > ~~~ <

Figures that a Cherub would be biased in favor of it. At least Alt!Calliope is willing distance herself and try to be objective, though.

***giggles uncontrollably, even though this honestly shouldn’t be funny***

Very politically-minded, but it also sortof sounds like the excuse-making that an addict would engage in, so I am not convinced that this is a legitimate argument.  Yeah, shoring up your base is important, but doing something that could strongly alienate swing voters is not necessarily wise, either.  I suspect she knows this too, but is in denial about the fact of the matter, because she enjoys the benefits of Trickster Mode too much. It is quite interesting that the human kingdom’s subjects appreciate it so much~

HAAAAA. Oh my fricking gosh, Alt!Calliope is a Cherub Supremacist! XD  

(Sortof makes sense, based on the mindsets that were described in Aranea’s [?] talk about the Cherubs’ origins, though. Might be biologically-driven, honestly.) Also, it’s quite interesting to see Jane interacting with Alt!Calliope like that, but it is hardly unique or overly-noteworthy, all things considered... at least, most likely. Quite a few other characters have responded to narration in a similar manner.

... Honestly, I was about to freak out about the Juju getting covered in dirt and grime, but the way she tossed away probably significant keepsakes, trophies, or the like for the sake of honoring it is... quite disturbing, and speaks to a danger in her presumably worsening compulsion/habit.  Though they might just be cookies.

Dirk displays surprising wisdom/good judgment, here, and amusingly alludes to the fact that his voice is being otherwise suppressed.   His actually talking in a scene represents a nice sort of loophole, but not one by which he can utilize such control as he would otherwise be capable.    ... And yes, her burning out is a very legitimate concern, which speaks to the fact that Dirk definitely+legitimately cares about the things that serve his purposes and/or agendas. They, he is willing to more gently guard, comparatively, it would seem.

It feels like this is a reference to something, probably from the 1980s or early 90s, but I can’t place my finger on it. Oh well.

This is very amusing, honestly.

Deeeeeerp.      (Yet another example of why it is difficult to take his attempt at super-godhood seriously... or at least find it anything better than dreadful.  Dirk is great at juggling many things at once, but not as great as he’d need to be. )

Oh, and I appreciate Jane’s concern for Dirk.  She is indeed correct in saying that he is usually much better at it than my previous comment might have suggested. But I am not entirely being unfair, insofar as this is true: the greater the responsibility one wields, the greater the level of competence one must have in order to pass proper muster.  He was failing in his attempt. I didn’t really give him all that much of a chance to sway me, honestly, but my own demeanor in dealing with him had nothing to do with the actual quality of his work.

This must be really concerning to Jane.  And... honestly, yes he is. They are very, very similar. Dirk is just more obvious with his intelligence, more controlled, and more mature. They are both highly ambitious, crave challenges, enjoy art, have quite a bit of masculine pride, and have a shared appreciation for irony, riddles, and absurdist humor.     Caliborn was likely very, very influenced by Dirk in particular, both of them received Yaldabaoth as their Denizen due to their personality and prowess, and both of them are highly manipulative men of questionable morality.   Also, their sexual interests seem to be somewhat similar, but that is a debatable matter. Lord English has Lil’ Hal integrated as part of his soul, Lil’ Cal has played a profound part in both of their (multiple) life cycles.  Finally:  as of the Epilogue and his attempted control of the narrative seen therein, Dirk essentially has pursued the same goal that LE did: domination of Paradox Space through his will controlling the natural flow of events. Dirk and Caliborn are in truth extremely alike.

I do so very much like where this is going. It would seem that we will soon find out precisely what Dirk is planning. “Diminishes and ascends” has an interesting ring to it, as well.  That red rifle:  Is it the one that launches portals? Honestly, Dirk is indeed quite clever, by the way. He has the seeds of great potential.  It’s simply that it has not fully bloomed, yet, and he is a little bit overly full of himself, and arrogant in what he believes he can do.  And yes, he is indeed temperamental when people interfere with his plans, it seems.

There’s the scheming politician we’ve all been waiting for. Way to go, thinking in such calculated manners and considering backstabbing ones you care about, Jane. Somewhat petty, and certainly rather dangerous, all things considered (things are a bit more explosive, where gods are involved), but closer to the political ideal which I would hope for if she were to be portrayed as competent. (Of course, I am actually disgusted with that sort of behavior. It’s one of the things I dislike about politics. I’ll recognize that it at least paints her in a slightly better light than the previous samplings of her thought process and tactical capacity has; thus, I generally like and dislike where this is going.)

Yep. Angelic purity with sexual potency/desire. There has always been this sort of tension in Hope’s nature. Just like the fact that angels are, in Biblical texts, both symbols of terror and destruction as well as hope and salvation. All (almost all?) the important positive interactions with heavenly beings start with fear on the part of mortals, followed by a “Fear not!” to suggest they come in peace. Otherwise, they come bringing judgment and wrath, and thus don’t tend to bother much with formalities.

Is that sarcasm, Jane?  If not, there’s certainly a heavy layer of irony. Do remember what just happened with Jane when she invited Jape Jake over for a friendly visit, not too long ago, my good audience members.

...   ***twitches, and tries very hard to hold in the inappropriate laughter***

If only I had someone so dependable to tell me when I was not dwelling far enough into the land of Always Woke.   Perhaps then I would be able to avoid the inevitable scandals that would result from Foot-in-the-Mouth-itis. Oh, wait, no politician can avoid being attacked for various probably minor accidents on their part as the populace naturally over-reacts to what honestly may not actually reflect their character so much as them being accident prone or ignorant?  What’s that about manipulation of audio/video recordings for the sake of generating useful sound bites that might be used in an attempt to impugn the honor of any prospective candidate?  Oh. I see. Thank you for that important bit of knowledge that I otherwise might not have had access to, imaginary adviser.  (Note:  I do not actually believe that one should try to be as careful as possible with regards to what one says; nor that one should ignore or scorn important social issues. I am utilizing exaggeration and mockery for the sake of comedy.) ... Alt!Calliope’s description of Dirk holding the rifle is quite elegant and beautiful.

This is indeed a beautiful irony, seeing the situation with regards to Dirk and Alt!Calliope’s tendencies toward bias being reversed.  

***snickers***   Magnifique. 

It is strange to see Alt!Calliope teasing and egging him on. It may be unintentional. Hard to say.

[queen-scribbles]

Steady as Stars: Tragen Meta

So time to ramble about Tragen because I am overly attached to this goober and have TOO MANY FEELINGS. Quick note, everything about his home planet is my own headcanon bc canon and Legends diverge pretty sharply so I just said “Screw allll of it” and am doing my own thing  😎 Also, i tried to keep some sense of order to it, but did not 100% succeed. Lots of parenthetical asides incoming. 

Brief backstory, for anyone who’s not familiar with my wonderful paladin son, Tragen is from Stenos, which is in the Outer Rim, right on the edge of Imperial space. They remained neutral during the Great Galactic War, but did host several Imperial supply lines. These supply lines eventually wound up integral to Stenosi economy, which the Empire used to blackmail them into actually joining shortly before the Treaty of Coruscant was signed.

Tragen’s love of the stars goes back to his childhood, but up until about 10 years old, it was just typical child’s awe and wonder at how many there were all the different places you could go among them, that sort of thing. Around ten is when the Empire started really pressuring Stenos to join, making threats, etc. This wasn’t common knowledge, but since Tragen’s parents were both high ranked government officials/nobility(the two are somewhat linked on Stenos; there’s the king/queen, their inner circle, and then a moderately-sized parliament of sorts drawn from the nobility. I’m still hashing out all the details, but that’s the basics), he’d hear them talking behind closed doors or after they thought he and his sister were asleep. They were worried the Empire would actually attack or invade or something like that, based off the displeasure the Imperial diplomat was conveying.

With the planet/culture’s future uncertain, Tragen started really appreciating the stars’ constancy. They’re always there, always the same, even if you can’t see them or are looking from a different angle. They’ve been there for ages and will be for ages more, and he finds that comforting.

Even moreso after the Imperial diplomat discovers how important the supply lines are to the economy and blackmails Stenos into joining the Empire with that knowledge. There are assurances things won’t change, of course, or at least won’t change much, but they do. And that’s before the Sith start looking for Force Sensitives. It’s very disconcerting for an acquaintance to be there one day and not the next. There are so many rumors about what happens to the people who go with the Sith(willing or no), it’s impossible to figure out the truth. With all the uncertainty, and his parents working even longer hours trying to merge Imperial statutes with Stenosi culture, Tragen finds even more comfort in the stars. Everything else might be changing, but they don’t.

And then the Sith find him. It takes a little over two years from winning Stenos to the Empire for the Imperials to work their way bottom of society to top looking for potential Sith, but Tragen’s one of the first they find when they finally get to the nobility/officials. By this point, the Imperials have abandoned all pretense of this ‘honor’ being optional, and so off Tragen goes to Ziost at thirteen years old. (He doesn’t want to, but loyalty/honor/duty are so central to Stenosi culture his father uses those to talk him down from a full-on freakout and into at least accepting this new path for his life, even if he doesn’t love it)

Tragen is not particularly gifted with the Force. It’s there, he has a decent enough connection to... amplify other things(ala Force scream, etc), but his real saving grace talent is martial combat. He’s been trained with a blade since he could hold one, is extremely observant and good at reading body language, and has a good head for strategy/thinking on his feet. The Sith training is where he’s introduced to the idea of dual-wielding(he’s ambidextrous, which is why one instructor suggests it), which is the only enjoyable thing about it.

Right from the start, Tragen has to hide his true self, bury it beneath a mask of anger and hatred he doesn’t really feel. He knows if he lets it slip he’s dead. He’s watched it happen; decent people who couldn’t ‘get over’ their scruples fast enough fall in duels to fellow acolytes who did, or are cut down by trainers as an example. He skates the edge of discovery the entire seven years he’s there; beating opponents to unconsciousness(so he doesn’t get stabbed in the back) but never killing anyone if can be avoided, claiming it’s so they have to wallow in the humiliation of defeat and/or “I rather like them owing me their life”. Still, he gets lectured multiple times about this merciful “flaw” he has.

During this time, he clings to the stars; to knowing that even when they’re hidden they’re still there, still shining bright, still the same. Just like him, sometimes their true nature is obscured or the constellations aren’t where you expect. bc you’re looking at them from somewhere different. None of that changes them, just how/if people see them.

Tragen’s survival tactic of hiding behind a mask of expected emotions he doesn’t really feel gets tested to its limit once Tremel summons him to the Academy for his trials, especially after Baras takes an interest in him. He’s constantly trying to outfox one of the most paranoid and brilliant Darths around, and sweats bullets the first few times he’s near the man. Once it starts to seem like Baras isn’t suspicious of him, Tragen relaxes ever so slightly. Not enough to do anything stupid, just enough he’s not a mess of suspicious tension every time he’s in his master’s presence. (And let’s not get into how hard the whole ‘wish the Jedi found you instead of the Sith’ thing with Dorgis hit him bc I’ll get too emotional to function. So many feeling for this dork.)

It’s a little easier once he picks up Vette. He doesn’t entirely drop his guard or his mask around her, but she at least is okay when he does nice/reasonable things, instead of lecturing about how he’s a terrible Sith yada yada. The two of them strike up a friendship pretty fast(she reminds him of his sister, actually), and Vette is usually the one to tag along when Tragen leaves the ship, even after Quinn joins.

It’s a still-tricky balancing act to accomplish enough of Baras’ objectives he doesn’t get suspicious while not violating his own code, but somehow Tragen manages. He leaves everyone alive he can, trotting out the ‘yes, but now they owe me their lives, giving me power and humiliating them’ excuse when needed. The entirely of looking for Jaesa, he’s adamant and upfront that he just wants to talk to her, leaves everyone alive(even makes Master Yonlach question his view of Sith :3) and resolves things as peacefully as he can. Even when faced with Jedi who are raring to fight and operating with the bias Sith = evil(tbf, he’s a rare exception...), Tragen always tries to talk things out first. He’s found pointing out he’s acting more Jedi-like than them works really, really well. On the whole, his conscience is pretty happy with how the search for Jaesa is going, though it does make him uneasy when he hears Baras got his hands on her parents. There isn’t really anything he can do at that point, so he just has to hope for the best and keep going.

While he is happy with the increased freedom and decreased oversight of having his own ship and underlings to do his job, it’s still lonely. He can’t completely relax on the ship, and he’s so used to having his mask up, he can’t bring himself to drop it around people, even Vette. Quinn there’s the obvious reasons(the man’s born and bred Imperial AND owes Baras his career; there’s no way Tragen’s trusting him with this), but Vette it’s more... worrying she’d accidentally spill the beans. She’s such a chatterbox and very impulsive, so even though he thinks she’d try to keep his secret, he’d rather not take chances with something this dangerous. This means the only time Tragen can drop the facade and be himself is when he’s alone, in his cabin, with only the stars for company. This adds a layer to his love of them; alone with the stars is the only place he can be honest, and living this lie is so exhausting he treasures those moments more than he can say.

He’s very used to opponents(especially Jedi) jumping to conclusions about him based purely on him being Sith, so Nomen Karr’s reaction on Hutta is.. expected At least, the initial hostility is. Tragen tries and tries and tries to be reasonable and just talk to the man, but Karr doesn’t cooperate. That he starts calling on the dark side is a bit of a surprise(not a huge one, though; a lot of the Jedi Tragen’s met have been hypocrites, and he could sense Karr’s pride and anger from the start), but Tragen is a skilled enough swordsman(I guess swordsman still applies to lightsabers??) he handles it.

Then Jaesa shows up. Tragen sends Vette to check in with the soldiers outside, and for the first time in eight years, drops his facade. If Jaesa can sense a being’s true nature anyway, there’s no point fighting it, and he hopes a gesture of trust like this will convince her(I did a lot of flashpoints/side quests etc with him, so he’s Light II by this point, better than a lot of my SWs). Dropping his guard like this makes him feel exposed, vulnerable. Naked, almost. He’s been so hidden for so long behind that mask, it’s mildly terrifying to let go of it.

*ahem* (But trusting Jaesa feels right, and safe, and this was the best course of action, right?)

(Wrong. She’s confused this Sith reads as merciful and compassionate against Master Karr’s arrogance and rage, and attacks him anyway)

During their fight, Tragen can’t help but admire her form; he knows dualsabers are tricky to wield and she’s very good. Good enough that it’s a challenge to beat her without hurting her(too much). By this point, Vette’s brought the Imperial soldiers back in, so he has to hide how giddy he is when Jaesa agrees to join him and help change the Empire from within. 

(Having her along is like surfacing for air after much too long underwater.)

It’s a little bit... cautious at first--they can’t speak freely enough on the ship to really connect. Tragen does encourage her to have confidence in herself; she’s grown since her days as a handmaiden, and understands all too well her struggles with pretending to be something she’s not. A lot of the advice he gives her  is the same things he’s clung to for years(”Keep your eyes on the goal” and “masks worn for survival are different than those worn for personal gain”) Jaesa has a million questions and Tragen’s dying to talk to someone he can be himself around, but they don’t get a chance until Taris. Tragen marks a couple firsts for me there; minorly, he’s my first male toon who did the planet arc but didn’t flirt with Thana, and more importantly: first Sith Warrior to talk every. single. War Trust target into surrendering. He didn’t kill a single one. (which I didn’t know was possible until him; I thought at least one of them[Frelka] fighting was unavoidable, but he did it.) This is where Jaesa starts accompanying him pretty much everywhere(she’s his apprentice, why shouldn’t she?) and they start building up trust and friendship and she gets a real look at his character.

Tragen keeps his word to the Siantide miners, shows restraint, and is basically the least Sith-y Sith Jaesa’s ever seen, let alone met. This is what brings her curiosity out in Shining Bright. That conversation opens the floodgates and they talk freely as they work their way through Taris, a freedom both miss once they’re back on the Empire Dawn. But even if Pierce’s quarters weren’t right next to Jaesa’s, being more open is not a good idea. Too much risk.

It is, however, very difficult to keep their conversation quiet when Jaesa tells him about the other light-leaning Sith. Tragen’s ecstatic (and relieved) to know he’s not the only one(also, impressed by how much stronger + more skilled Jaesa’s gotten with her power). He’s very eager with his encouragement she keep looking, and so giddy when she actually finds them, they’re both equally to blame for Pierce almost catching them. (It’s very hard for a pair of excited 21 year olds to keep their voices down) He sends her to make contact with these light-leaning Sith and paces his cabin in antsy, impatient circles until she gets back.

Thanks to their Force bond, Tragen can tell even before Jaesa boards the Dawn that something’s wrong. When she tells him how badly her attempt went, the first words out of his mouth are reassuring her this wasn’t her fault. She tried, and no matter the outcome, that was the right thing to do. (He does hug her, even if it’s risky, just for a moment. She’s his friend and she’s hurting, he doesn’t care if it raises suspicions)

(side note: this is where the first seeds of Jaesa falling for him are planted, when her feelings matter more than her failure, even if she doesn’t realize it until years later)

Disappointed as they might be by this setback, there’s not much they can do about it(both somehow find solace in the stars, though neither mentions it), so they soldier on. Both improve in combat prowess, Jaesa’s strength with her power grows, they become uncannily good at working as a team. (this is part experience and part Force bond--Tragen might barely be decent at most Force stuff, but he and Jaesa bond STRONG)

It’s almost a relief when Baras tries to kill him. He can stop even pretending loyalty. Though he does find it deeply ironic the Emperor’s Hand reaches out to recruit as Wrath someone so diametrically opposed to Sith values. He shares Jaesa’s excitement for potential influence he can wield, being so high-ranked and even less subject to oversight bc who’s gonna be brave enough to question the Emperor’s Wrath? Between that and Lord Emmoridg reaching out to Jaesa, Tragen’s actually feeling good about their chances at reforming the Empire. It turns out a bit more complicated than he’s anticipating--while there’s less oversight, there’s also a stricter and more definite set of expectations placed on the Emperor’s Wrath than on a run of the mill Lord. Expectations that are harder to look like he’s fulfilling while actually subverting.

Belsavis, for example. Tragen has no problem or qualms about killing Ekkage. And he knows Jaesa’s not going to tell anyone how readily he partnered with a Jedi(who he not only let live, but parted on good terms with) to achieve his goals. But he didn’t kill Col. Trill for not helping him, and he lets Lord Melicost walk away, and he has no guarantee those actions won’t raise eyebrows. Sure he can argue he doesn’t want to weaken the Empire/Sith in their war with the Republic, but a) it doesn’t stop other Sith and b) he has a history of being less brutal than a Sith should. With being Wrath now, Tragen’s starting to really stress over the balance and his facade is straining him to the breaking point.

The stars remain a huge comfort to him. He spends a lot on his time on the ship just sitting in his cabin and staring out the viewport(he calls it meditating if anyone other than Jaesa asks). The stars are still there, still the same. The constellations and which ones he can see might be different depending on where in the galaxy he is, but even when he can’t see them, he knows they’re still there. Still magnificent and beautiful no matter what happens. That thought is one of the few things that keeps him going strong.

Another is his friends. Tragen is all too happy to help Vette find her family(it makes him miss his even more) and backs her up in her reluctance to seek revenge for her mother’s death. The two of them are pretty close, and Vette always manages to make him smile, so helping her is no trouble at all. There are times Tragen wonders if she suspects how truly un-Sithy he is, but he can never quite bring himself to admit it to her for sure. That mask is such habit, it stays on around everyone.

Except Jaesa. Even if their Force Bond and her power didn’t make hiding things an exercise in futility, they’re a team and Tragen a) trusts her and b) is eternally grateful to have someone he can be himself around. Completely himself. And he feels like no matter how daunting this goal of reforming the entire Empire is, with her as his partner it’s possible. Jaesa found the light-leaning Sith, Jaesa reached out to them. Despite the initial disaster, she’s the one Lord Emmoridg reaches out to and she’s the one who keeps in touch with him.

Tragen is feeling very good about about their goals and actually starting to hope he won’t have to hide forever when they learn about Cendence. Jaesa is so distraught  when relaying her encounter with the tortured and dying apprentice, Tragen shuts and locks the door under the pretense of meditating so he can comfort her without being disturbed. Knowing there’s a Sith out there hunting down ‘their kind’ is more than a little troubling(terrifying is the word he would use), but Tragen’s too busy with the Hand’s assignments to do anything about it, so he entrusts this foe to Jaesa. He knows she can handle it. She a gifted Force-user, skilled saberist, and stronger than she realizes. He’s so proud of her when she goes face to face with Cendence and beats him bc he knew she could do it.

Regarding the Quincident--bc how do you meta a Sith Warrior without touching on the Quincident?--Tragen of course forgives him. Has to dress it in the usual ‘Your life is mine now’ rhetoric, but he’s secretly amused at the irony. Baras is the Proper Sith(TM) between the two of them, is more in line with Sith values and would technically be the right choice by that metric. Tragen’s just more powerful--even if it’s still more combat skill instead of the Force. (He’s better with the Force than he used to be, but still largely relies on lightsabers. He’s more comfortable with blades)

After defeating Baras(which is a relief) and being confirmed as Wrath by the Dark Council(which is stressful af), Tragen takes a long time wrestling with how to balance his goals and his new position. Yes, he has more influence, but people will also be more wary/skeptical that the EMPEROR’S WRATH is light-leaning and trying to change things,and he’s pretty sure the more times he’s merciful, the more questions will be raised. If he and Jaesa thought what Emmoridg is doing is dangerous, training LS Sith right under the Council’s nose, this is.... too perilous for words. He actually talks to the Emperor. Tragen interacts with Vitiate; pure, remorseless evil and incredibly powerful, who he’s actively working to undermine. It makes the next few years extremely harrowing, but at least things are never boring(and most of his orders--what few there are--come through the Hand, so he doesn’t talk to Vitiate MUCH). The only thing that keeps all his plans from crashing down and totally wasting the years of wearing his mask, is that the Wrath is allowed to maintain autonomy rather than being bound to Vitiate’s will via dark side rituals. That would have led to his discovery and torture/execution, Tragen is 100% sure. Even as things stand he has to be incredibly careful.

It helps him immensely that Jaesa’s sticking around; both for her help with their goals and just bc Tragen values her as a partner. He admires her growth and resilience, she admires his bravery and sacrifice(both admire the other’s inner strength), they work fantastically well as a team--by the SoR prelude they can practically read each other’s minds, and his future plans rely heavily on her being there. Which she’s all too happy to do.

(both of them are halfway in love at this point and both are completely oblivious to it. There’s no pining--yet--bc neither has a clue the true nature of their feelings-- largely bc they both come from planets where marriages are usually for politics over love, and then their respective orders; the Sith encourage lust, not love, and the Jedi ofc with their acting like Love Is Bad Bc Attachments)

I’m toying with headcanon-ing that Tragen’s acquaintance with Lana and Theron starts with the Depths of Manaan flashpoint, bc I’m verrryyyy conflicted about him doing Attack on Tython. It feels OOC for him(I played him through it, but it didn’t sit right >.>).Whatever I do there, his familiarity with Vitiate’s nature makes him all the more frantic to stop Revan bc seriously, man, you don’t know what you’re doing, this is going to end so very VERY badly. He is, of course, right, and he hates it.The disgust he’s always felt for Vitiate multiplies exponentially at the end, when Mr. Embodiment of Pure Evil and Dickishness escapes and promises to consume his Wrath last since Tragen’s “special” to him(which makes his skin crawl; he doesn’t want to be valued by something so evil). And like all my Force-users, Ziost hits him really hard. He’s more familiar with how evil Vitiate is, so on that score he’s braced himself. But even with his mediocre Force connection, all of that terror and death so fast hits him hard--though not as hard as it hits Jaesa. She goes catatonic for a little bit, which scares Tragen half to death. It’s only about 5-10 minutes, but he recovered in under a minute, so it still feels like an eternity. And she’s quiet and closed off the rest of the day.

The one good thing to come out of SoR-RotE (aside from new friends), is Tragen can now openly, full-throttle oppose Vitiate and it’s okay. More than okay, Darth Marr himself approves. And being the Empire’s Wrath instead of the Emperor’s has him back with the increased leeway to do his own thing which makes it possible to work(still subtly) toward reforming the Empire. And he’s more sure they need it than ever now; with Vitiate out there as a threat, he’s pretty sure the Empire and Republic will have to ally again to deal with him. That’ll be much easier to do it they aren’t so wildly different. His progress may be measured in inches, but he has time; he’s not going anywhere.

Or so he thinks.

(KotFE onward coming soon in a separate post)

[bunnyandbirb]

Bunny & Birb’s Spiciness Ranking : League of Legends Men

We play a shameful amount of League of Legends, and after this you’ll get the idea that it’s for all the wrong reasons.

For this week’s collab post, we decided to make a combined ranking of League of Legends male champions based on their level of spiciness.

We each made an individual list with rationale, and then ranks were averaged out to generate the final list. We also tried to rationalized our picks somewhat, and choose the most attractive skin for each.

The scale ranges from 1 (the most attractive) to 26 (least attractive). Then the average is obviously the average rank based on our individual ranks.

1. Talon - Average rank: 2.5 bunny: 4

Maybe it’s cus we can’t see his whole face that I think he’s attractive? I also just love assassins. SSW is the most attractive. He looks the most normal. Gives off an Altair from Assassin’s Creed vibe.

birb: 1

So I thought this guy would have potential, but wasn’t totally sure. His SSW skin is what removes all doubt and carries this dude all the way to the top. Black-haired rogue dudes get a thumbs up from me. (I also ship him with ma girl Quinn, and she deserves only the best.)

2. Ezreal - Average rank: 3 bunny: 2

I mean, he’s the most pretty boy of any of them. Has those nice Aryan features. Ace of Spades Ezreal has the cockiness that makes him worth it.

birb: 4

A generic anime bishounen type. I don’t know, I guess he just looks a little young for me? I’m also not recruiting for Hitler Youth. He definitely is one of the more objectively cute ones, though, so I can’t deny him that. Best skin is Ace of Spades, bonus points because he’s not blonde in that one.

3. Kayne - Average rank: 4 bunny: 5

Gotta love this edgelord and all his emo hotness. It’s like my high school dream. He only has one skin but it’s damn attractive.

birb: 3

While he runs away with the title of Edgiest League character, it cannot be denied that he (particularly dat skin) is attractive. Probably because he looks less like Sasuke in the skin.

4. Three-way tie - Average rank: 5.5

Vladimir bunny: 1

Academy Vlad appeals to all my shitty anime fantasies and I love him. He’s got condescending down cold. I’d call him senpai.

birb: 10

The whole vampire image was never really my type, and Vlad’s not an exception. Count Vlad is probably the most attractive one to me (once again, the black hair bias)

Ekko  bunny: 6

Ekko has that devious type of appeal. Like the type that would totally get in trouble but you dig it. Sandstorm is probably the most attractive, mostly cus his others just look bad.

birb: 5

Ekko has a decent voice on him (even if he doesn’t stfu when you play him) and I’d say he’s pretty cute. He would have success at a co-ed mixer. His (Darude) Sandstorm skin is far, far superior to his regular one.

Zed bunny: 9

I mean we can’t see his face, so like he could be really hot. It’s a 50/50 chance. Shockblade is the most attractive since it proves he has real skin.

birb: 2

This pick is based entirely on faith that someone this edgy must appear equally edgy (and attractive). Also his movements have POWER and GRACE thus he must have a nice FACE. Championship Zed is shiny as fuck so it’s obviously most attractive skin.

5. Twisted Fate - Average rank: 7 bunny: 3

I think I find him attractive mostly because of his voice, though he’s pretty cool too. I wanna say Pax is my favorite just cus it’s rare af.

birb: 11

I like his drawl, the facial hair knocks off some points. Most attractive skin is Cutpurse, since it gets rid of his beard.

6. Two-way tie:  Average rank: 9

Jhin bunny: 12

I’m using his obsession with roses as the reason that he’s a little more attractive than some of the other guys. Also…. ITS HIIIIIIIIGHHHH NOOOOOOONNNNN

birb: 6

Despite the obvious V for Vendetta vibes, I do weirdly like Jhin’s voice. And his /joke is kinda cute so I’m taking that into account. He also has Very Good posture! He only has one skin aside from his normal one, but I do like that better.

Varus bunny: 10

I guess purple eyes are pretty cool and he does have an 8-pack going on, though I’m not sure what the front of his hair is doing. Heartseeker Varus got me falling in love.

birb: 8

His eyes are a little creepy but if you look past that he’s probably a nice guy. Gimme some of that Varus Swiftbolt action, though. I would probably romance him in a Dragon Age game.

7. Lucian - Average rank: 9.5 bunny: 7

His eyebrows are very nicely groomed and he has no weird facial hair. Striker Lucian is the most attractive just because I love soccer players.

birb: 12

I feel a little weird trying to figure out how spicy a guy raging around about his dead wife is, but whatever. He has some nice cheekbones. Hired Gun is probably my favorite skin, because I like his hair in that one.

8. Two-way tie - Average rank: 11.5

Yasuo bunny: 16

Uh, Yasuo really knows how to use a sword *wink wink*. Plus he has some very nice, flowy hair. I would like to date him to steal his shampoo. Project Yasuo looks pretty cool and you can’t see his face so it’s better.

birb: 7

Separating him from the people that play him, appearance-wise he’s alright. As long as he doesn’t windwall, I could stand to look at him for extended periods of time. I might be projecting my Rurouni Kenshin feels onto him, though. I’d maybe pick Blood Moon, for no real reason.

Jayce bunny: 14

If you’re really into dads, then I guess Jayce would be for you. But like, that’s not my thing and I will kink shame you for it. Debonair his the skin where he looks the most suave (but still very dad)

birb: 9

He really does just look like my friend’s dad or something. He’s just an average looking dude, which is somehow better than the majority of the people on this list. Debonair skins will always be attractive skins.

9. Darius - Average rank: 12.5 bunny: 8

I’m only putting Darius 8th for Academy Darius. He might look like the school bully, but he still looks pretty attractive in that skin. Normal Darius, not so much.

birb: 17

The only viable Darius skin is Academy, and he still just looks like that guy who beats people up just for an ego trip.

10. Garen - Average rank: 13.5 bunny: 13

His head is weird shape so he’s not higher but Garen does have a nice face. Rugged Garen is the most attractive because his head isn’t so tiny in that one (unlike Dreadknight)

birb: 14 

So Garen might be a bit of a pimplehead, but I look at something like Rugged Garen and say okay, I can fux with this.

11. Pantheon - Average rank: 15.5 bunny: 18

He’s less hairy than everyone below this. We also can’t see his face so no negative points there. Mediocre at best. Baker Pantheon is the most attractive cus there’s food involved.

birb: 13

I’m basing this purely off the fact that he wants to be a baker, and that’s kind of adorable. Favorite skin is obvious.

12. Two-way tie - Average rank: 16.5

Draven bunny: 11

His confidence is attractive I guess? Gotta love a guy who knows he’s great? Also have you seen those legs in Pool Party????

birb: 22

He has the crazy eyes, which are very deterring. Favorite skin is Soul Reaver, because his face is less of a face.

Graves bunny: 15

Graves looks more normal than some of the other dudes but he has so much chest hair. Ew chest hair. Also I don’t like smokers. I guess he looks the best in Mafia Graves, the red really brings out the flames.

birb: 18

A regular lookin’ shmuck. I guess he’s manry and all that, but why that facial hair. Mafia Graves is best, because it’s hard not to look good in an outfit like that.

13. Two-way tie - Average rank: 17.5

Xin Zhao bunny: 20

I have less of an opinion about him than I do Jarvan, which is really saying something, so he gets stuck here at the bottom. His face is boring and he’s boring. In Warring Kingdoms he has a slightly edgy thing going so he’s not all bad

birb: 15

Forgettable as hell, but not exactly ugly. I hate his ponytail, though. Most attractive skin is either Dragonslayer or Winged Hussar, more for the armor than because he looks good.

Jarvan IV bunny: 19

Uh he has a face. So I guess that’s nice. I literally have like no opinion on him. I guess Warring Kingdoms is the most attractive cus it has a nice stoic vibe.

birb: 16

I feel like without his ridiculous armor he would look okay. Sort of like the all-American soldier type vibe? Darkforge is his best skin because his armor actually looks pretty cool.

14. Lee Sin - Average rank: 18 bunny: 17

Lee Sin can’t see so his other sense are probably heightened. Every girl wants a guy that’ll listen to her for once. Traditional Lee Sin is the most attractive because he actually has hair.

birb: 19

Does the blindfold add appeal? Maybe. Traditional Lee Sin is his best look because he has hair.

15. Two-way tie - Average rank: 21

Taric bunny: 22

It’s hard to be attracted to someone else’s man. I also don’t think I could make him swing my way. Armor of the Fifth Age has the best smirk going on, so it’s definitely my favorite.

birb: 20

Off limits, can’t compete with Ezreal. He definitely looks like Fabio, though, and he’s popular on romance novels. My pick is Pool Party Taric, because it looks like he’s starring in Baywatch.

Gangplank bunny: 21

He’s a pirate so maybe he would get some booty, but not this booty. Too much beard and too rugged. Probably has scurvy. At least in Special Forces he looks a little bit younger and more tame.

birb: 21

The edgy makeover definitely gave him some positive points as compared to his old goofy pirate character. Still, he looks kinda old. Captain Gangplank is my fave because it looks like he’ll kill me if I say otherwise.

16. Two-way tie - Average rank: 23.5

Tryndamere bunny: 24

He’s a little up from the very bottom because at least his hair is on his head and not his face. But his muscles are also scary. I like Viking Trynd just because he’s surrounded by money and I’m attracted to money.

birb: 23

A straight-up ragemonster. I’d classify this guy as more of a beast than a man. He’s most attractive as King Tryndamere, because I can actually look at him like a human bean.

Udyr bunny: 23

I’m not really that into hobos. Udyr is like that guy who spent too much time in the forest and now thinks he’s magic. Definitely Not Udyr is the most attractive cus it’s the closest to not Udyr.

birb: 24

I feel like I wouldn’t be surprised seeing Udyr walking out of a dumpster. Best skin is Spirit Guard because he actually looks respectable (and because that skin costs a lot of money.)

17. Olaf - Average rank: 25 bunny: 25

There’s just so much hair!!!! And his muscles are bulging in a weird way. Brolaf maybe is the most attractive? It has the least amount of hair and alcohol.

birb: 25

Olaf is like a hairier version of Tryndamere, except he doesn’t even have a single respectable skin. His one arm muscle is like bigger than my whole body. Butcher Olaf is the most attractive, because I like meat. 

18. Gragas - Average rank: 26 bunny: 26

Uh yeah. He’s just not good looking. He has so much hair and his nose is so red. God I don’t know. Oktoberfest is the most attractive, if I have to pick?

birb: 26

Alcoholic and literally a circle with limbs. Judging by his VO, he wouldn’t even pay for drinks if you went out with him. Best skin is Scuba, because it’s the one where his face is the most covered and also there’s a possibility that he will drown.

And that’s the end of our petty list! We’ll probably rank the League girls sometime in the future, but that’s for another day.

~Stay tuned for nonsense~

- bunny & birb

[kendrixtermina]

Extra Typology Vol #1, Introduction

This first part of the series will concern itself with the Book “Human Types - Essence and the Enneagram” by Susan Zannos, on the system that is known as Essence Type, Planetary Body Type or 12Type Enneagram. 

Basics/ Book Review

First off I am going to say that I’ll quite deliberately disregard the esoteric and pseudoscientific elements as I do not personally believe them nor am I interested in them - 

Conversely, I will not be dissecting or refuting them in detail as this is not my aim here either. Going in, chosing to pick up & pay for this book, I knew that an esoteric perspective, some lowkey misantrophy, golden age fallacy (”Ancient Wisdom”), pseudoscience and anti-intellectual tirades would be part of the deal - I strongly believe that every book, fiction or nonfiction, is a kind of conversation, and that you should be able to converse with people you don’t agree with, especially if it is to reach a common objective or obtain raw information to draw your own conclusions from - 

I have chosen to read this book because I find that this system has some useful distinctions & clearly recognizeable archetypes not found anywhere else, and whatever explanation you may or may not attach it, a heuristic that sorts by characteristics can still have its use - Besides, archetypical and metaphorical language is sometimes indeed the best tool or shorthand to talk about the human experience. (in the same way that “The shrooms told me to practice non-judgement” can still be the most natural, intuitive way to describe a drug trip even though you weren’t “talking” to anyone but yourself & simply failing to notice because you deliberately downregulated the neural networks that handle the distinction between “self” and “other” by ingesting disruptive chemicals)

While other “Popularized/Sanitized” Versions of the system are available (I’ve ordered this book, too), as well as other individuals who have expanded it more in line with the esoterics (x) (x) (I’m tempted to arbitrarily add my own because it infuriates me when something includes Pluto and not Eris), I quite deliberately choose to sample the system in it’s original form to form my own opinion in case the author of the other/above book “cut away” something I’d deem salvageable and substantial. (Indeed, I wasn’t sure wether I was Lunar or Saturn untill I read the more “in depht”/ “unsanitized” descriptions, the above author gets too hung up on the concept of “childlikeness” when there’s the whole “emo introvert” aspect to it that makes it very obvious which one I am and what the distinction is.) 

As far as antintellectual tirades go, I was actually surprised to find at most three paragraphs, mostly framing it as “just ONE way of aquiring knowledge/intelligence” while still aiming for some sort of “fairness” - Despite the golden mean and a lack of reflection on what reason actually is, I’d say that the author legitimately tried and truly wrote this to the best of their understanding - There’s no consistent trash talk and the however out of context scientific funfacts were genuinely presented as exciting & interesting (Did you know the surface of the moon is covered in a layer of dust from rock that has been ground to powder by meteor impacts, including tiny ones that the lack of atmosphere lets pass when Earth’s atmosphere wouldn’t? Also, interesting biographical details about artists & musicians.) - I mean, the confirmation bias and lack of true mechanistic understanding are apparent and some of the info is sorely outdated (How many moons does Jupiter have again? (If you pardon my socionics, I smell 2D Thinking),  but the author aims for a thought-through, comrehensive presentation and writing style drawing from all kinds of mythology & traditions - Reading this book did not hurt, and at the end, it’s more about the intuitive content than the logical one. 

Where the author and I are in agreement, though, is that the purpose of typology - whatever typology one chooses to use - is not primarily the labeling of things, but increasing self-awareness and compassion for others, as well as finding out what really suits you & reframing one’s view of self & others in terms of non-judgement, simply seeing things as they are and she has some interesting musings on that concept.

Also, I’d also agree that the nature/nurture debate kind of overlooks both interactions and the factor of personal choice/self-awareness/attitude, though they would probably conceptualize this within their own, highly specific framework. 

I have, however, a few dissagreements of the philosophical level that I think it is more fair to make here than anything borne out of my evidentialist worldview, as they would pertain to a sphere we can both inhabit under the same presupositions. 

For one thing, I must protest the idea expressed here that negative emotions have no place in a healthy psyche and are merely a tacked-on product of malfunction (and that thinking otherwise is a great misconception of our time)

They accept “survival evolutionary reasons” for instincs so I’ve got to tell them that negative emotions like sadness, anger, envy and fear all serve important survival purposes - rather than expungned or be expected to dissapear with healing or “awakening”, they should be adequately handled, integrated, questioned-analyzed and expressed constructively as to serve the protective purpose for which they evolved - and if anything, restraint of them was LESSER in the past, where might often made right and people were killed in anger and entitlement quite easily. 

In the right context, when justified & rightly guided/directly, they can even be beautiful and an important component of a full experience. 

And since they are demostrably natural at the chemical and inborn level, they cannot be eradicated, merely repressed, which is more likely to be adverse. 

Same can be said about much of the talk of “not noticing” things, like how the lack of memory of everyday events is an indication of not having paid conscious attention to them

In actuality, everyday memories that we don’t retain long-term are discarded in our sleep when our brain “filters” for which ones to keep. This is known & demonstrated, and not only is it a bit preposterous that you would remember everything if only you “paid attention” and we’rent “awake”/making conscious decisions if you don’t remember, the idea that we could it would not be useful & clutter our mind with repetitive things. 

Same with not noticing environmental details. 

“Tuning out” things, like negative emotions, is an useful natural function. Some of us are iNtuitives, in fact, I think the author is one, and would have to trade in some traits that I’d waver she strongly cares about if she wanted to be a Sensor - Her esoterics theories may not be that different from “pondering something in your head”, they’re sure not raw data. 

I get how in some context you may want to alter your attention level, but in the interest of, as she’d put it “not bein anything other than yu are”, I’d aknowledge that it’s normal. 

And last there’s the usual “spiritualist” assumption that we have to “raise above” and “disengage from” this world or our functionalities/ patterns in it to get to some vaguely-defining “beyond” that for all its claims of maturity and trancendency often consists of simple vague superlatives and contrasts based on very anthropogenic frameworks - It’s simply not-this, better-this, beyond-this, and if you don’t buy it you’re supposedly “trapped inside a material box” 

Thing is no matter what size the actual box is, human beings can always imagine more, because such is imagination- and what’s a humbling” or “proud” answer is wholly subjective, an interpretation pretty indepent from whatever facts or unfacts you derive it from. It could just as easily be said to be “pride” to postulate that our reaction patterns and networks are simply what we are. We’re merely self-aware enouh to regongize shift our own patterns. 

I have mixed feelings about what is in some ways a pretty good line/reasoning, in that there’s  notable difference that can be made to you subjectively by changing your attitude, even if you can’t change the world (somewhat in line with stoic philosophy) or even your attitude, that you can kind of just accept it and that just that can be a significant difference.

For me, there’s a significant “it depends” here, like, it seems to stray into a sort of slave moral and surrender of just “swallowing”, a fixedness and a “okay-ness” in terms of behavior that IMHO is only there to an extent - and not even in a moral or judgy way, but, isn’t what you want and what you can live with just as inoxerably a part of yourself?

Now that this is out of the way, let’s get on to discussing the actual content. 

Essence

So what is it we’re attempting to classify?

The author defines it as the basic “factory settings” of a person, the part of their nature that would be the same regardless of culture, societal impressions/expectations or ones’ particular experiences, here categorized as a basic recognizeable archetype. Probably what’s left of you if you have so much acid you temporarily forget who you are XD

However, it’s not strictly ‘nature’ as opposed to nurture, as the human brain continued to grow into toddlerhood & develop in response to language and socialization factors that can become an inoxerable part of the person’s wiring and how it’s expressed- 

Where I would most certainly disagree with the author is their assertion that everything else about a person, all changes induced by experience or nurture, are somehow false or fake. It’s those things that make you distinct from another person with the same type, of whih there’s bajillions,but there’s only one you. 

Besides, it’s ALL stored as changes in brain wiring, all memories, all trauma responses, to the point that even your job  or hobby may change your activity patterns, so though you might come up with more or less sensible, useful definitions of which parts are “real”, there will always be a nature of subjective interpretation about it. Though a person may have predispositions and type, I do think there’ something to the thought that at least part of our essential being comes after we exist, though our formative experiences and the choices we make - 

That is, I see developement less as a “return” to some vague idealized mystical precogndition, and more a reaching towards unseen heights to become “better than you are” - Nonetheless for that endeavour it’s still crucial to know the base material you’re working with & throw out deceptions - You want to become a better version of YOU, not of someone else: If you’re a cat, you’re not gonna beat the dogs at dogging, rather, learn how to cat properly. 

An interesting thought is that people might particularly remember points where they acted outside of habit or with deliberate choice (& therefore uncharacteristically), therefore making it harder to catch onto characteristic vibes than for a neutral observer - As in, there can be a difficulty here because society tells people to bend themselves into pretzels, but the natural pattern still pervades when the person isn’t “trying”

Contrary to the claim here that you need years for typing (esoterics peeps making everything sound so ~enlightened~ and ~mystical~ imho) I’ve read other articles lauding this system precisely because it’s rather simple and working with pretty regonizeable basic universal archetypes, particularly when it comes to the basic 6, peeps can “pick one” rather fast even if they never thought about it before

                       intellectual emotional   action-oriented

personal          lunar           venus       mercury 

non-personal   saturn         jupiter       mars

and the other influences also being based on easily recognizeable archetypes. 

The Book

Interestingly, the Book doesn’t get to the actual type descriptions until halfway through, at first treating us to some basic theories on both the history of the system  and this particular school of esoterics, the pseudoscientific “basis” as well as a model of a “soul anatomy” or composition of the human mind which, despite the card metaphors,  is basically an effort in philosophy and could indeed serve as a typology system on its own (Queen of Diamonds person here, in case anyone cares)/ is later used to explain type characteristics and define a set of Attributes. 

The Sailormoonian collection of components, which actually receives further subdivisions, consists of: 

The Instinctual Center - Pain & Pleasure. Survival concerns, basic body functioning, homemaking - perhaps analogous to sp instinct. Ranges from basic necessities to physical pleasure to badass survival instincts/vigilance

The Movement Center - Rest & Movement, learned movements, sensorical-reactionary patterns. Perhaps analogous to the Sensing function and/or Spatial-Kinesthetic intelligence. Ranges from drudgework to love of traveling/adventure to, at its peaks, mechanics & inventors

The Intellectual Center - True or False, concern with abstract ideas, concepts and symbols, as such not strictly Jung’s thinking function or the ‘head center’ from the 9-gram. Ranges from recited knowledge to excitement/curiosity, to metacognition (”knowing that you don’t know”) 

The Emotional Center -  Like & Dislike. Feelings oriented toward people.  Seems anologous to sx instinct. Ranges from social pleasantries to passion and wild out of control dramatics, to, at its peak, altrustic emotions. And yes, there were alice in Wonderland allusions. (”Queen of Hearts”) 

The gist of the idea is that for each of the centers, the learning process involves first passionate captivation, then deliberate sustained attention and finally a transfer to a basically “mechanical” function that can be performed without attention, like when you learn to ride a bike and eventually become able to do it without thinking. 

It further postulates that these are often operating in parallel, and that to become an actualize person you should “archieve unity” that is, become aware of and “synchronize” them.  

Also, some romantic shmaltz about how only the highest part of the emotional center can see “higher” centers (I presume in line with certain shools of esoterics where three of those have a counterpart simply called “higher moving”, “higher emotional” etc. The distinction seems quite arbitrary to me personally.  )

It has always been my opinion that the strict distinction between rationality/logic and creativity/emotion/lateral thinking is arbitrary 19th century romanticist bullshit.- though of course the brain has different, parallel “layers” which is probably what this refers to in a psychological sense. But the social processing we’d call “higher emotions” is up there in the cortex just there with cognitive skills, and there’s not really a separation from bare survival stuff, either - The brain is very much what we have instead of claws or wings, and each layer builds on the assumption that the previous one is there. 

BTW: Another point I disagree on is that Donal Trump (Listed as Solar-Saturn-Mars) does not have a drop of Saturn in him. We could argue about Solar or Jovial admixture or consider him a pure Mars type - he’s certainly naive and vain, but more than anything else, he’s bull-headed. 

(As with the ESTPs before you, here’s my condolences to you Martials.)

To be fair, the author couldn’t have known that he’d go from random frivolous celebrity to fascist proto-dictator, making any reference to him retroactively cringey and wanting of disclaimers. 

[kpop-goestheweasel]

BAP!boyfriend - Daehyun

Yongguk | Himchan | Youngjae | Jongup | Zelo

I swear I tried reaaaaaaally hard not to let my bias show too much 😬

•Cheesecake kisses - Honestly, his kisses always have some flavor to them •Tonnes of skinship. Basically if you are in his presence, he needs to be touching you - it’s kind of a comfort for him to have that tangible proof that you are with him •Serious fuckboy about 25% of the time - And by ‘serious’ I mean not even he can keep a straight face about it ½ the time •Foodie about 50% of the time •Actually the sweetest boyfriend ever about 25% of the time •Who am I kidding, foodie 100% of the time - the other parts just kind of overlap into that •Surprise visits to your home for a movie night together. He comes prepared with several bags full of food - enough for about a dozen more people •Daily (probably multiple) selfies. And he expects them in return •He also expects pictures of your meals… you know to make sure you’re eating well. He totally doesn’t have a food porn problem •All jokes aside, he truly will want to make sure you’re well fed and well rested and never stressed. You probably won’t ever find someone as caring as this one •Probably cries more than you at sad movies •Definitely more outbursts than you while watching dramas •Serious drama binging - There also may or may not be arguments over who you’re cheering for the lead to end up with •Teasing pouts and pretend jealousy when you fangirl over drama characters or other idols, but even he can’t take himself too seriously •Real jealousy doesn’t happen too often; when he is bit by the green monster he becomes unusually quiet - this is pretty much how he is whenever he gets upset •He would love taking you out and showing you off. Your relationship is very public because this sweet bean wouldn’t be able to keep it to himself •Holy catwoman, that smitten smolder though •And then there’s that teasing smirk when he gets super greasy  •He’s pretty much dripping wit grease like 30% of the time, but it’s all in good fun (and he totally gets blushy about it afterward) •Random roleplaying. I don’t even mean in the bedroom, but just out of no where you start playing house or cops and robbers which leads to screaming and running around the house like madmen. I almost feel bad for those around you, but they’re used to it by now •Late night conversations where he pours his heart out and makes sure you know how much you mean to him •Couples E V E R Y T H I N G. He’s so incredibly smitten and finds a little too much joy in showing it •Embarrassing picture of you sleeping next to (or on top of) him just happens to be his lock screen.  His background is a couple’s selfie •Almost half of the photos on his phone are pictures or you, and about ½ of those may or may not be pretty embarrassing candid shots •So much bragging about your to the members •Double dates with Youngjae with the main objective to mess with him the whole time - granted, that’s Dae speaking. You’re cool with just sitting back with Jae’s girl and watching the boys make fools of themselves •노래방 (karaoke) dates •Constant loud singing - Seriously, imagine listening to him singing in the shower <3 •He’ll totally have his phone ready to record you any time you sing. Those recordings will be most comforting to him while he’s away on tour •Skype calls any and every chance he gets while he’s away - even if he does end up getting constantly interrupted by the others wanting to say ‘hi’ to you as well •Hearty laughs •Any time he visits another country, he’ll return with a sweet gift - usually in the form of your favorite clothing item •He will literally do anything you asked. Want to practice your makeup skills? He’ll happily be your Guiana pig. Dying from your menstrual cycle? You wouldn’t even have to ask for the plethora of chocolates he’ll bring for you •Cuddlessssssss galore!  •Y’all take turns being the big spoon •Tickle wars •Nose kisses - And he absolutely loves the way you scrunch your nose every time •Random shyness when he wants affection •A bit of neediness when it comes to your attention •Disagreements last a whole .5 seconds before you both call truce because you just can’t. More often than not, those little arguments you do have are ½ joking anyway. There may be some passive aggressive undertones, but neither of you get too serious with your anger •Overall~ A relationship with Dae would include quite a bit of energy and even more food, with a lack of silence. There would be a definitely playfulness to how you relate with one another, and it’s contagious to those around. It’s dang obvious that you guys are completely in love with one another. There’s points when you are totally that couple.  At the same time, others can’t help but to ship the crud out of you.  There’s so much care radiating from him; he wants only the best for you because your happiness is his own happiness.  His girl isn’t just his girlfriend, she’s his best friend (Sorry Youngjae). Spending time together is everything to him - whether it’s just awkwardly cuddling in weird positions while having a movie marathon or going out and enjoying each other’s company while goofing off and getting yourself kicked out of every store in the mall.  Time with him is as fun as it is fulfilling.  It’s all carefree and somewhat childish at times with the exception of those times when things actually get serious and you fulfill each other in new ways.  Dae offers such a casual aura that your relationship reflects just that - it’s simple, relaxed and doesn’t take much effort to maintain. You guys just get each other; it’s a friendship on fire <3