#i truly don't know anymore but i know i'm tired

[cetoddle-archive]

i feel wildly depressed and suicidal and cry about it for an hour and then i feel empty and then i feel full of so much energy that i could just cry and i just feel like that until i get tired and go to bed and i do this every single night and it's exhausting something must be wrong with me

[thekittyokat]

you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah

[errolluck]

I'm tired. Of all of this.

Every fucking day feels like the same, yet it gets heavier. Things get worse, nothing gets better and the few things that gave me security, happiness, where I thought I could escape and be free for some moments, are getting corrupted, forgotten, stained forever, never to be the same refuge they once were.

I'm tired of living sometimes. Of existing on this world.

I know how dying feels; it's calming, the darkness eats you and you feel without worries for the first time in your existance. You know it and that frees you.

But I don't want to die. I'm a coward. I want to continue living on this earth just because I think I can do something in the future, something that will fix everything, something that will give a purporse to everything I've done and lived through.

But we all know that is just a lie to make us feel better, don't we?

Because, at the end of all, do we really matter? What can assure us that?

I'm tired. Too tired.

I want to go somewhere else, but there is nowhere to escape. I want to say that I want to go home, go to the park, go to a forest and be happy. But this is something that will haunt me, haunt me forever and everywhere until the end.

Because you can't escape yourself.

I'm tired...

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

getting tired of myself and everything around me again 😐

[quatregats]

I hate writing essays that are out of my wheelhouse so much, like I have read enough of the literature to know that I will not be able to propose question in a way I feel is honest, but also I don't have time to read enough of the literature to actually form a good question

[daz4i]

i am so angry about being alive it's not even funny anymore

[apatheticlexicographer]

to be completely honest, the stranger things fandom has damn near ruined the show for me lmfao

[betweenheroesandvillains]

.

[713-4th-ward-g]

.

[illithiddies]

The bg3 fandom is so big and active rn I can't imagine there aren't at least a few servers out there that put like... a reasonable limit on the sort of dark content that can be discussed in it while still also allowing nuanced and mature discussion about it, especially considering the game's canon topics.

It's such a bizarre delicate balance but there has to be something right?

[rapha-reads]

My mother cheating on my father with a guy 30 years younger than her and when we tell her it's disgusting and unacceptable she tries to justify herself like "Oh, this is so Christian moral and catechism puritanism from you" and "This is the patriarchy that's talking".

.... Are... Are you trying to justify your CHEATING on your husband since 1990 on feminism and freedom? ABSOLUTELY THE FUCK NOT, YOU WILL. She thinks she's not in the wrong because, what, fuck her Christian education and she's a woman, she can do anything she wants ? Is she FUCKING KIDDING ME???

YOU CHEATED, YOU ARE CHEATING, YOU'VE BEEN CHEATING FOR MONTHS, YOU FUCKING JERK.

You hurt your husband, you threw him out of the house, you hurt your children, you think you can come back to my father's village? Your youngest daughter is TWELVE, and you're hurting her so much she's bottling everything in so well she could win an Oscar already, AND YOU THINK EVERYTHING IS OKAY AND YOU HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING WRONG OR MORALLY REPREHENSIBLE ?

What sort of fucked up imaginary world are you living in that cheating is acceptable. For heaven's sake. She had the galls to tell me "adultery is banal, it's ordinary, everybody is doing it, it's not serious; don't be so dramatic". *screams* Hi, hey, if everybody is jumping off the bridge, are you going to jump too? Have you not PAID ATTENTION? Wars, murders, catastrophes have been done because of CHEATING, it is not a MODEL, it's a warning!!! Wtf, wtf, WTF.

I'm tired, I'm so tired. I have a thesis to write and I can't bring myself to work because my mother is throwing away all her life, acting in a shameful and unacceptable way, and disrespecting her family. My grandfather and my uncle and aunts aren't aware yet, but when they learn, oh boy, they might jump in a plane for Morocco to go yell at her.

Anyway. I'm having a real bad time these days and my only solace, my only salvation, are my sisters and my brother.

[satanicbakesale]

i cannot maintain relationships for the life of me this is so funny and so sad

[salsflore]

[blakelywintersfield]

I'm so fucking exhausted with it all

[noxtivagus]

ahh i'm so tired sorry i haven't been really active lately but i promise i'll fix all these stuff up n be well for the new year soon

[mx-melancholic]

I am a jester and I literally can't tell you why I do this but I do it and I've recently properly realized it, like I have to entertain the masses. I'm so asocial I literally don't want to do anything I don't want to talk I don't want to be in anyone's company but when I am I talk and talk and talk almost until they forget it's me. I literally feel like a performer, especially if I'm not very close to the people around me or we've just met or I can tell they don't like me really. It's like every silence is my responsibility to solve and I just keep loading the empty space with line after line after line of stupid shit I have no actual desire to share but if I go quiet nobody will talk and I'll be uncomfortable so I just keep saying stuff until it sticks and then I just leech off of whatever format worked and like why do I do this. Why am I like this literally why. The amount of times I've said to myself that I'll only say the things I actually want to say, as little as it is, but I can't. Even in online messaging when I know the silence isn't real it's not like we're literally sitting together quietly, it's just a group chat and everyone's probably busy but no I have to yap and blab and regret every letter I type because it's so stupid and pointless and I don't even care it literally only drains me but I can't navigate the implication that I'm boring people, even people who are obviously not even bored. Like. How am I so not talkative and inserting myself everywhere with constant noise at the same time