#i want this laptop so bad bc it's just. its so silly but in a way that actually some thought went into it

[theactivepresent]

Thinking About Her* Again

* the Lenovo Yoga Book 9i gen 9 (13" intel) that i absolutely can't afford and definitely don't need

[nomaishuttle]

im alsp seepy but i cant sleep bc my HAIRS WET!! luckily it dries quicker now Due to rhe haircut but still looking at a 2 hour situation... but also i dont feel like gaming. i might cook I guess. or i could watch el movie 😏 but id have 2 get my laptop and likee. yk.. i could watch downstaurs but id have to be sure my roommates r Fully fully asleep bc i dont have headphones for my laptop (i have my phone headphones but i hate the abominable fucking thinks) so id have to just have that shit open to the elements. rawdogging the sound. caint do that if my roommates are up!

[raainberry]

please you write fluffs so good I WANNA AUGH JSKSKSKDN CAN I PLEASE REQUEST MORE SANA FLUFF??

What’s Yours Is Mine (?)

« silly series - 9 »

Sana x gn!reader

Fluff

synopsis - just a classic case of girlfriend stealing clothes

wordcount - 834

A/N - thank you very much anon it means a lot bc me personally i think there’s definitely room for improvement, but ask and you shall receive! a small draft i picked up, enjoy!

The way Sana ran to get to your apartment had nothing to do with you.

Well, she was excited to see you, that was a given, but she was less thrilled about the rain that suddenly started falling on her way to your apartment.

When she stepped in, you couldn’t help the laugh that escaped at the sight of her. That unsurprisingly earned you a glare which you quickly turned into a smile when you told her to go and grab whatever from your closet after a warm shower.

You know, just until her clothes dried out.

She took you up on that offer and came out of the bathroom twenty minutes later, proudly wearing your own clothes as if they were hers.

You were busy, posted up on the kitchen island and focused on some work matter that required you looking at your laptop for way longer than anyone would like. You’d much rather be looking at your girlfriend instead, who looked absurdly cute in that one hoodie she knew you loved and haven’t let go of since your early college years.

A tired smile made its way to your lips when you allowed your eyes to take a break from the screen, granting them the soothing sight that was Sana.

“A sight for sore eyes” suddenly made all the sense in the world to you.

“What are you wearing?” You chuckled, your gaze never leaving her as she made her way over to you.

You didn’t expect to see her in that clothing item, and you wondered how it didn’t happen earlier. It was so endearing, how the sleeves were slightly too long for her arms, and how cozy she looked.

“Something comfortable.” She said, glancing at her sleeves. “Do you like it?”

“I do.” You wrapped an arm around her waist to pull her closer and she took it as an invite to sit on your lap. “I think I have the same one.”

She giggled at your bad joke, a proof of her love.

“You have great taste.” She booped your nose and your features scrunched up, causing your glasses to slide up with them.

You looked too adorable not to kiss at that moment, so she did just that, wrapping her arms around your neck to pull you in for a kiss or two. Her lips felt just as amazing as the last time she saw you, maybe a little sweeter.

“Are you gonna be done anytime soon?” She gestured to your laptop and you frowned, sighing.

“No. Someone messed up at work, I have to review and fix a whole program.” You pouted at her knowing you won’t be able to have her in your arms like that for a while still.

“Why are you sad, that means you’re good at your job.” She tried to cheer you up and managed to turn your lips turn into a smile again.

“I guess. But it means we won’t be able to cuddle any time soon.” You explained.

Sana shrugged, “I can just stay on your lap while you do your work.”

“I’d love that but I don’t think my legs would.” You said without much thought before the sound of your words reached your ears. Sana’s gasp complimented your widened eyes and a nervous laugh pushed itself past your lips. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that!”

You tightened your arms around her, hugging her closer to make amends in hopes she’d find you cute enough. “I love you.” You said, looking up at her, before stealing a kiss from her cheek.

“And?” She asked, deciding not to let go of your honest mistake without teasing you at least a little bit.

“I’ll make dinner.” You proposed, but she didn’t budge.

“You were going to do that anyway.”

“I’ll let you play with my hair while I work.” You tried again, a hopeful smile on your lips.

“What so I’ll just stand for two hours?” She scoffed. “You’re so bad at bargaining.”

“Fine, then what do you want?” You sighed, only wanting her to quit the teasing.

“I keep the hoodie.” She grinned, but it wasn’t innocent.

“Sana, it’s my favorite…” You whined.

“It’s mine too.” She whined back and you chuckled despite yourself, sighing before giving it a thought.

“Am I ever going to get it back?” You asked, although you already knew how that usually goes.

“No.”

Her smile, the happiness she displayed made it hard to say that same word back to her. Honestly you wouldn’t mind seeing her wear it from now on, but only a few times. It was still your favorite hoodie.

“Can we at least share custody?” You tried to compromise and this time she was the one humming as she thought about it.

“Maybe. But I take it first.” She said a second later.

“Fine.” You gave in, taking the hand she was offering in yours and shaking it in order to close the deal.

”Pleasure doing business with you, baby.” She giggled, bringing your hand to her lips.

The soft peck she laid on top of it made the butterflies dance in your stomach, coating your cheeks in a similar shade to the one on your hoodie.

You’d never see that hoodie again by the way. At least not on yourself.

[zerobaselove]

what if? | park gunwook

pairing: gunwook x reader

genre: fluff

word count: 726

warnings: none. lowercase intended, not proofread.

prompt: 19. "get out of my head."

notes: i'm ngl i saw this in my inbox and have been thinking abt it ever since i just NEED to write it or smth bc ohhh my wookie (i am so in l word w him it's fucking crazy)

most people your age spent their friday nights out and about, whether at parties or out on the town with friends, everyone just wanted to go out and have fun. but for you and gunwook, you preferred your nights in every once in a while, especially on days like today where you both had homework due the following monday.

you both wanted the rest of your weekend free of stress, so the quicker you got it done the better. and that's how you were sat here in gunwook's bedroom. you had found yourself sat on the floor, back resting on the side of his bed, books and papers sprawled out on the floor. gunwook had sat down at his desk, typing out the outline for some paper on his laptop. the clicking keys and pen scratching the only noise for a while, until a loud huff broke through the air.

"what's wrong wook?" you asked, knowing that clearly something was up.

he shook his head, tapping his fingers on the table, "i can't focus on anything, i've been staring at this page for half an hour now." he let out a frustrated sigh, and you couldn't help but feel bad. you knew how annoying it was to just not be able to focus, especially when you just wanted to get the task done.

"is there any way i can help?" you asked sincerely, wanting to at least try to be helpful.

the boy hadn't turned to answer you, so his next words were barely audible. "i need you to get out of my head."

did you hear him right? you were convinced that surely, surely you hadn't. so you quickly asked him to repeat himself. turning his body around to face you, he took in a breath before replying again.

"get out of my head," he sighed, "i can't focus on this paper when you take up every thought in my mind." a pout had crossed his face as he let out the admission. his cheeks had quickly flushed a dark crimson as he saw your widened eyes looking back at him. it was in that moment he realized that he had essentially just confessed to you without even meaning to.

your mouth ran dry, every response you could come up with seemed to get trapped in your throat, and you felt yourself resisting the urge to simply kiss the blushing boy in front of you. after years of no confession from the boy, you had started to think you should give up on ever having your feelings returned, but here you were, and here he was.

looking up at the boy you let out a small "oh," before moving your books off of your lap and standing up, opting to lean against the desk. gunwook's eyes didn't leave yours, too nervous for the response he would get, and whether he had just messed everything up or not.

"what if," you paused, trying to gain the courage to not trip over your words, "i want to be in your head?"

now it was gunwook's turn to let out a mumbled "oh." his mind going a million miles a minute at your response while a subconscious smile found its way to his lips. "then uhm," he pushed his hair back, trying to come up with a minimally embarrassing response, "then i guess that's okay."

the boy took a moment to stand up, suddenly towering your frame as he stood in front of you, "you're more important than some silly essay anyways." you caught his eyes flickering between your eyes and your lips, and you couldn't help but shrink under his gaze.

an attempt at a response had come out more as incoherent mumbles, much to your dismay, but gunwook had come up with a solution to your problem. before you knew it he was leaning in closer and you could smell his cologne as if you were being engulfed in him.

as much as you wanted to look at the pretty boy in front of you more, you let your eyes flutter shut as you leaned to close the last couple inches between your lips. you could feel gunwook smile into the kiss before pulling away, a sheepish grin plastered on both of your faces.

"you know," you mumbled, "you're on my mind a lot too, gunwook."

[aroacesigma]

YIPPEE ok . funni rhythm game . project sekai. its got miku . the only important background lore here is: there's kind of another world called "sekai" that is made from either strong emotions, or the shared will/dreams/desire/etc of a group. there are 5 units/groups/whatever. 2 of the sekais in the game were made by One Person. one's the clown group dw abt that. but Mafuyu !! fuyu made her own sekai. i thiiiiiink out of her desire to "disappear"?

anyway. mafuyu asahina. silly lil girlie. she is so depressed man. her mother sucks and is constantly pushing her to be the perfect straight-A student and train to be a doctor, and in public fuyu DOES put up that facade (in-game she has two very distinct voices - a more upbeat, happy one, and this very quiet, almost mumbley-one. in lives she'll use her Public Voice when talking to anyone that isn't of her unit)

so ! fuyu. she wants to make music. and train to be a nurse not a doctor. but her mother is super manipulative and controlling (and thats a theme you see across her cards too. in her first event she's literally depicted as a marionette for example) and really has no real control of her life. and then she meets Niigo. because kanade savior complex go brr

so. nightcord at 25:00, or niigo as they're called in the jp fandom, is made up of Kanade Yoisaki, Mizuki Akiyama, Ena Shinonome, and Mafuyu Asahina. they originally only know each other online (kanade finds fuyu thru her music which kanade notes is very dark and depressing, and later resolves to create a piece of music that will make mafuyu smile and bring back some joy into her life. tbh idk abt the other two i uh. am bad at reading lmao) but !! they talk on Nightcord (its discord) until they all meet in the Sekai. which is fucken EMPTY. there is NOTHIN THERE. and its Mafuyu's Sekai. so given the Empty Void that has been remarked upon that it's very easy to get lost and never find your way out .......yeah

so . as the events progress you get to see mafuyu come out of her shell more as she hangs out with niigo. her mom is. Not Happy (when is she ever smh) and in one event her mom even throws out her music equipment and laptop (iirc) claiming that it's a "distraction", and tells her to stop hanging out w/ niigo bc they're "bad influences" (or smth). mafuyu, obv, does Nyat do this and continues talking to the others.

a few events later mafuyu finally reaches her breaking point and stands up to her mother . and then promptly flees to live with kanade after everything she had to deal with. so now kanade & mafuyu live together ! but mafuyu rlly is making progress like despite it all, in newer cards/depictions you can even see light in her eyes !!!

but yeah shes . shes my silly. and so like. Gender to me. her and mizuki (canon transfem/nb person btw. go mizuki go!!!!!!!!) got a duet version of the song "Villain" which is literally abt bein fucken. trans. u can't just put the Canon Transgirl in with the Transmasc Vibes Character in a Song About Being Trans, man /j

i lov her tho shes doin her best. she kind of lost all sense of identity due to having to be what her mother wanted her to be, and niigo is slowly helping her figure out who she is, not who her mother wants her to be. its very nice

compared to the other stories niigo's is. way more deep and intense. but ! they all have their Things :3

anyway yeah im insane abt mafuyu asahina this has been my tedtalk i need to go to bed

OHHH she sounds awesome fuck yeah :) very glad that she is happier these days...love that . i really do need to play project sekai honestly i tried one time but i got too used to the enstars format for rhythym games and i sucked absolute balls at it. anyway gn bff <3

[petewentzisblack1312]

I was gonna ask you this anyway actually bc you know a lot of artists but I just kept forgetting bc adhd is kicking my ass rn but since you wanted asks: do you know of any cool online stores or artists selling stickers? im trying to decorate my new laptop and I bought a few on etsy but I wanna get more

made in a lab to answer this question bc all i do is look for artists that skew cool. i will also give artists that skew cute. some artists are in between these categories, that is, they have a cute artstyle with subject matter that at least at times skews cool. my metric for whats cool and whats cute is pretty much 'based on aesthetics if this were being sold at a basement show in the 90s to 00s would someone get called gay'. if the answer is yes, its cute. if the answer is no, its cool. i dont know if this makes sense but im gonna use this categorizing anyway. i will tag the artists who are on tumblr but otherwise im naming everyone by their instagram handle because thats where i look at art and im on my phone and cant link everyone without losing my sanity

coming back after writing this list i have GOT to put this under a cut

@cursedluver: cute/cool, mostly cool to me, very bright and colourful and his starpions are really fun

ummmheather: cute/cool, mostly cute but shes got some stuff thats silly in a more cool way if that makes sense.

strikegentlyco: cool, they only recently started making stickers so the selection is a bit limited but they do have lots of enamel pins

sheselle: i would say firmly on the cute side of things in aesthetics but i think her sense of humor can be interesting. new to me though. i think you will really love some of her stuff and not really be into others.

@sweatermuppet: cool, lots of queer political stuff

luluvanhoagland: cool but with a soft artstyle so it feels cute.

@sofftpunk: cute/cool, lots of lgbt stuff

thegraveyardrave: mostly cool, they do have a tumblr blog but its specifically for clownposting so i will not tag him

leestrawberrryshop: cute with a cool tilt, mostly white and pink with just lineart but its an interesting scribble/doodle style. memey at times

prettybadco: cool but lately this guys been doing so much i think you should leave fan merch and its not bad but i dont watch i think you should leave and its not what i followed for. the original stuff is pretty neat though

catcoven: medieval. giving this one its own category on the grounds that thats pretty self explanatory and more precise than cool/cute

interrupted by finding a bee in my bedroom while drinking slightly warm tea (house is closed and the windows in my room (also closed) have mosquito nets)

@verdant-succubus: cool but there is body horror and guts and stuff so tread lightly if youre sensitive to that sort of thing.

radhia rahman (knivesmeow): cute but i feel cool when i look at her art

abprallenuk: cool but the colour palletes are strictly pastel

svv.art: very cool

smdefelice: cool. mostly does screenprinting but i am pretty sure they do stickers also. however the shop is currently closed for con prep do i cannot confirm

lilboatboutique: cute/cool has a homesick at space camp sticker which is currently on my water bottle and which i own in 2 variants as an enamel pin.

kerin cunningham: cool. emo. the goat. what else is there to say.

@darbydraws: cool. quite like her stickers although her bread and butter is t shirts. also emo

xraeart: cool. alt streetwear brand so. yknow.

skullingway: cool. theyre one of my favourite artists hands down. not a lot of stickers tho

jordandebney: cool. this guy makes the coolest stickers but most of it is for his subscription box which is fine. theres 2 stickers not behind a paywall

elrosabel: cool stuff, cute style. she kinda like. soft closed. to do polymer clay sculptures. but she might have reopened? i know shes selling stuff under this project again

piratesarrrt: cool but in a soft style. similar subject matter to luluvanhoagland. which is to say weird girl heads.

seankeetonart: cool.

@moonlume: cute. the concepts are cool though

jimibiscuits: cool. this is one of my favourite artists i have. so many of his pins. he doesnt have a ton of stickers though iirc

@8pxl: i am going to invent a category called 'pretty'. i love pixel art and this is my favourite pixel artist ever.

i gotta fuckin stop

go forth and get some stickers

[thisisegregiouuuus]

GENE!! HEEL!!

i love THE SHINING!!!!!!!!!! literally all week since saturday all ive been thinking abt is watching it again but since school started i made this little tradition that every saturday night id watch the shining on the tv while everyones asleep (im so cool) bc i love watching the shining on the tv (i only watch stuff on my laptop so getting to watch smth i love on the tv is rlly cool to me 😼)

ive come to a point where i dont mind watching the shining every day. like in the beginning it was all just 'oh, i havent watched the shining in a while, i feel like watching it now so im going to' that was like a month and a half ago or smth...ive never rlly had the shining as an actual interest before, but this one by far has lasted the longest, and its kind of different to any other interest i have in a way i cant explain!!!!

anyway, that little 'i wanna watch the shining tonight!" like 2 months ago sent me down a rabbit hole of youtube videos talking abt the making of the shining, theories abt the shining, and a bunch of other stuff, plus reading the actual book (which i love as much as the movie) and now here i am! when this silly little interest first started i was like 'oh i wanna pace myself, i dont want to watch the shining every night' bc i jsut didnt feel like it, but now i dont mind watching it every night or so, but i gotta wait until saturday now. at least it keeps me looking forward to smth!

dude i dont wanna sound crazy or anything, and i dont mean it in a crazy way, like i think im pretty normal abt my interest in the shining, but most of the time in my mind im just thinking abt the shining and waiting for someone to ask me if i know the shining or for someone to merely mention it bc the second they do i can just explode and finally tell SOMEONE how much i love the shining. like i kid u not i was having dinner today and while i was eating i was begging for my family to just ask me 'so are u watching any movies rn?' bc YES. YES I AM!!! and i have a lot to say abt it.... also at dinner i was thinking of all the lines from the shining i knew off by heart, reciting them to myself, i wanna quote them to someone so bad and i would to my closest friend but she wouldnt get it or find it funny, she doesnt like the shining and we kinda only quote things we find funny </3 so idk who to talk to abt the shining. thats why im on here writing abt it!

anyway thats all! im gonna post this publicly, just to try it out--i never post anything publicly but i wanna see what its like, ive been on tumblr for like a year or smth but i still dont rlly know it too well lol, so im still learning. if i like posting publicly i might post more, or ill just take this down. anyway sorry if theres any spelling mistakes or anything, this isnt proofread! :3

(also the title is a quote from the movie evan almighty in case u dont get it 😻)

[upsidedowngrass]

one of my favorite details about liam is the fact that he is very nice!!!! but he does NOT seem to get manners

his whole motive thruout season 2 is that he wants to save the others. from the looks of it, he doesnt CARE about the revenge part that much. like yeah itd be nice to stop the guy that physically harmed and killed you bc he did that, but thats an afterthought really - and i didnt interpret liam trying to kill airy even as an attempt at revenge so much as an extremely irrational and extremely stress-induced method of trying to make sure his friend + the others DIDNT get sent to the plane. his main priority is repeatedly that he wants to stop this from happening to anyone else. the only time he mentions himself is when saying that he 'cant live the rest of his life not knowing WHY this happened' (thats paraphrased) but that is immediately followed up w concern for this happening to other people

ofc, he also thinks he literally Has Nothing so the lengths he goes to to save the others CAN be interpretted as not things he would do if he thought he could go back to normal but at that point, thats just extremely specific speculation and i dont think thats supposed to be whats conveyed. some situations wouldnt even be necessarily related to him not having anything, so much as related to helping the others. he still throws himself into everything after "remembering what its like to have a life again." even when he realizes that he doesnt HAVE to have lost everything, he still cared and wanted to help the others more

i think he wanted closure, yeah, but he really did want to save the others. the scene of him helping julien is there for a narrative reason, after all (though i dont wanna get into that bc id go on a tangent about narrative choices in ONE). hell, hes the only one to try to get charlie out of the way of the stakes! (not that the others didnt try, but i feel like the intended take-away of liams general nature is fairly clear)

anyway, liam is nice!! he cares a lot abt others and doesnt want bad things to happen to them, and hes ok with bad things happening to him if it can help them.

but he does NOT understand a lot of social etiquette, or the concept of being polite.

my favorite example of this is the whole discussion abt going to go see bradley. when the restaurant gets shut down, liams first thought is to go 'sooooo. you dont have work, right?' when liam realizes he cant pay for the laptop, he just kinda. 'i dont have any money.' and stares at bryce like a cat looking at your plate of sandwich meat, waiting for you to inevitably give them some

this isnt even ONLY after the 7 months, theres hints of this trait before then! when amelia is talking abt stone making her team when the challenge, he just goes 'yeah sorry.' then talks abt how texty won their teams challenge, pointedly when texty is RIGHT there. liam doesnt even say goodnight back to owen! (this ones less impolite than the others but i think its silly to include)

it should be noted tho, that while this ISNT present before and after the plane, it DOES show up more prominently afterwards, and this could very much be the stress! but looking at WHY its more prominent afterwards also feels like it points more towards this just being How He Is.

all of the things hes kinda impolite abt? are things where he is TRYING to be nice, or arent unkind inherently. hes going to talk to bradley? well, doesnt bryce want to come? driving him there is more efficient anyway. oh you have work? well now you dont! so now things are easier! staying here isnt gonna make the restaurant reopen anyway! (liam also probably does NOT have the same weight associated w jobs that bryce does, since liam hasnt had a job in a capitalist society in 7 months. its probably still subconsciously there, but not at the forefront when the plane is still out there). i crashed your car? well, i think the lives of others matters a little more. you can get a new car, but if something happens to airys contestants WHO KNOWS whatll happen to them

a lot of it, i think, is made more extreme by stress and trauma, yeah, but these are patterns in logic that seem to already discard manners as being that relevant. and i, autistic, chose to view that as something hes just Like. hes not a dick and he doesnt ever mean to be! but also if someone can do something fairly minor to do something more important, why does he NEED to be polite abt it?? whats the POINT you get the same message across! and thats assuming he even REALIZES these things are "impolite," based on a lot of his interactions w vryce, i legitimately dont think he realizes how he acts could sometimes be considered 'impolite'

where bryce is knowingly kind of rude sometimes and doesnt care (though is STILL kind, he is just more blunt and uninterested in sounding nice, which i could do an entirely different essay on the autism of), liam seems to not really notice manners, nor does he think theyre very important to consider, and i just. really love that about his character :)

this is the kind of guy that, if you stubbed ur toe, hed probably not say 'oohh, sorry :(' and hed just be 'dang, that sucks' and move on

[royallygray]

Royal remember when we would send asks to each other with a bunch of questions? Well I'm doing that again now. As always, no pressure and feel free to just answer a few instead of all of them :D

Do you keep plants? And do they actually live or do they just die?

What's your favorite instrument?

Something you wanna do this summer?

Do you have a bucket list? And if you do, what's the thing you wanna do the most on it?

What songs always make you feel better?

What type of art do you enjoy making the most? (Drawing, knitting, writing, etc)

One of the best things you've ever bought?

What year of your life was your favorite, and why?

What color is your room painted? And what color do you want it to be painted, if you'd want to change it.

Are you really silly (really silly)?

Did you know that you have a pretty singing voice and I love listening to the stuff you make? And that it makes me really happy that you get really happy from me saying that?

Do you have a favorite scent, and if you do what is it?

My noise is so itchy right now. I hate having allergies to outside and dust lol. Do you have allergies too?

What's your favorite meal with chicken?

What's a weird collection you have/had?

What's your favorite sea creature?

Okay that's all for now!! Feel free to send these same ones or different ones back to me lol. I'm getting fishies todayyyy am very happy. Also I just gave my Grandma's dog Hermione a bath, so I now smell like wet dog. But it's okay. She had SO MUCH fur that needed to get off. She was shedding so much.

I keep trying to figure out somewhere to work around me thats not loud but. do you know how impossible that is. it's so bad. Like. Sensory issues suck

But it's okay

Because I'll be okay

I just want money cause I want a crested gecko lmao

But they're so cuteeeee!!!!

Okay this is me actually leaving (probably)

Bye Starsightttttttt

- Mysterious <3

OOOH QUESTIONS

[do I keep plants] Not really, but I keep flowers that people give me/are trinkets at fairs or smth. I have a dead one on my desk from a fair thingy that I totally need to throw away, and I have one in the freezer that was a gift from a fellow cast member of a play I was in. The one in the freezer still looks intact.

[what's my favorite instrument] Mysterious how am I supposed to answer this :( I play clarinet. I have an oboe that I'm trying to learn this summer, but I haven't been doing that a lot lol.

I have a list of instruments I want/want to learn. I used to play violin but I don't anymore bc we returned the violin and I would like to pick it up again. I'd also like to learn viola because it looks cool but apparently they have an entire different fucking clef?? called an alto clef??? like wtf why would they do that to me

I'd also like to learn saxophone. Either soprano, alto, or tenor, idrc. But it's a cool instrument. Id also like to play bass clarinet because it is literally the same as normal clarinet just Big. it's in the treble clef and everything. It's just Big clarinet. I would love to learn guitar. it seems like such an important piece for like background music on tracks and just. I wanna learn it. and its the most common thing that people use for chords. I have a piano that I fuck around with, but I don't know how to use chords and shit but I know how to play the shit out of the melody.

I also need to learn to read the bass clef. I played flute in 4th grade and I'd kind of like to play it again

that's a lot of words about instruments lol😅 idk what my favorite one is but I hope that was enough info to make up for it

OMG WAIT. KAZOO.

Also my dad wants me to learn piccolo. which is actually interesting

[smth I wanna do this summer] um. idk. well I wanna try to learn oboe, as said. OMG ALSO

So I have the goal of transcripting the life series and I wanna do that :] I'm failing so far but ITS ALRIGHT YKNOW I GOT TIME also I need to clear out my storage bc I have too much shit on my phone and 2 ipads (I don't have a laptop :()

[do I have a bucket list, and what's on it] uhhh not rly but I wanna meet you irl someday. also prolly go to Europe. Maybe also either Taiwan or China so I can improve my Chinese a lot. also I do wanna have a first kiss because like I'm intrigued. what does it feel like. OOH also I wanna write a full fledged story or smth. and a story in Mandarin Chinese. because like. you'd think I'd be fluent enough after ten fucking years but NOOOOO

also last night apparently I had a dream where an author (maybe Brandon fuckin Sanderson?? idk) wrote The Rescue Princesses and also was mentioned in the Aru Shah books like. what the fuck was that dream. it was weird ASF (I just saw the Aru Shah books on my shelf and I was Confused)

[what songs always make me feel better] okay okay okay. So. If William Gold wasn't a fucking piece of shit, Warsaw, Your Sister was Right, For Memories, Concrete, You'll Understand When You're Older. Not necessarily make me feel better, but like. resonate somewhere deep within my soul. As it is, I feel like throwing up when I hear his voice. Genuinely, acoustic Sex Sells came on a few days ago and I was like "oh nice it's a good song I can totally listen to it right" and then he started singing and then I like. couldn't it was so bad.

Someone to You by Banners. Just. it's so. sjqieowhads

Also In My Dreams by Precious Jewel Amor is really good

Honestly Get Used to It by Ricky Montgomery. like one of my favorite songs. also I'm aware that most of these aren't rly happy--

STARLIGHT BY TAYLOR SWIFT. IT IS. A BOP.

[what art do I enjoy making the most] I like to crochet :) i also like drawing. one of my favorite mediums is oil pastels lol. But my favorite has to be crocheting bc I use it as a stim and also like. it makes warm things :D I tried to make a sweater and if you scroll to the second post I ever made on this blog I think you can find it lol. I'll continue it some day. ooh but I do also kind of enjoy writing. but I need to have the like brain flowing. which I almost never have. so my answer is still crocheting :D

[one of the best things I've ever bought] Tied between my Techno plushie ($40) and life series hoodie ($55). mcyt hyperfixation made me broke o7 but it was totally worth the money

[what year of my life was my favorite and why] damn idk. I don't rly have a favorite, but it's more. this happened. idk.

Probably 2021, if I had to say. It was 3rd Life, Among Us, me finding dsmp, just a ton of things and I started figuring more out about myself. pretty decent year. but this year (2023-2024) was also pretty good. I made a lot of friends

[what color is my room painted, and what would I like to change it to] okay. so. like AGES ago we were gonna paint my room. and we painted two walls. we got light blue on the east and marshmallow white on the west. the other walls (North and south) are painted VERY VERY light pink so light it is white. since that's the color my sister had. we were gonna paint the other window wall (north) blue and the non-window wall white (south) but it never happened. so now I have mismatched walls.

The blue is rly nice, but if I moved, I think I'd paint three walls light lavender, and one the marshmallow white.

purple is god tier

[am I really silly (really silly)] yes. sometimes. like inside my soul yes outside my soul not rly

[did you know

EDIT: I PRESSED SAVE DRAFT BUT APPARENTLY I PRESSED THE BUTTON TWICE AND ACCIDENTALLY POSTED IT SORRY LOVE ILL ANSWER THE REST LATER

[twildflower]

Long awaited doodle dump lmaooo its cut off bc i have some i want to spotlight and they make the post too long n i dont wanna like clog up peoples tl :3

Also mature tag is bc i talk abt some rlly uh fucked up stuff under cut

This is like um sorry i was in a silly goofy chinese mode whoopsies i did translate it tho its not direct translation bc uh chinese and english diff umm its kinda weird in english it’s actually more like green saying did gold teach you that again but i like my personal translation better also look at my handwriting that every single person ive known in my life say is ugly as fuck wooooooo

Hehe Silver in Golds clothes and Reds hat :3 i like this alot i was gonna add gold and red as you can see but i didnt finish yet I’ll probably repost it when i draw it

バニバニガール！i love すりぃ’s バニー go check it out its a really fun song about bunny (girl)s also damn. That hand. It does not look like its drawn by me.

Cutoff here theres a few doodles im not too proud of/not very uh rated e for everyone/random doodles so they will be under the cut B)

Silver with like ribbon tied on his hair :3

This is based off like a pixiv artist’s regold drawings of like red taking gold’s eye n eating it or smth im very interested in like this specific. Uh. Thing. Niche? Idk i just like the idea of like. Hehe. Stolen eye or smth sorry im very sick in the head :3 i see alot of like amputation and other weird stuff on pixiv too from like all the fandoms ive been in but thats not really my thing i really like this eye thing tho okay what the hell im marking this thing as mature im talking abt way too mature stuff

Eerr random eye doodle that turned into a full thing but i wanted to draw goggles too so eh its not very correct tho lmao also hi yes my ugly ass handwriting again i think its fine as long as its not unintelligible yk I don’t know why like everyone i know well most people say its bad like. Grow up at least its readable >:(

This one makes me want to mark this post as mature but ehhhh nah ‘s fine i think. This was written before the second one sorry. I will just be fr now I have been drawing so many like this kinda faces and sometimes anatomy poses bc!!!! I am drawing. Cool. This is just the one that looks better after a few practices lol. :3 Also i like drew the small part of the hair somewhere but idk where’s that paper my whole school binder is just fucking messy af bc i keep going thru where my doodles are. So yeah that thing is probably never going to be found again until i throw papers away or study for exams which is like a month later i think idk im gonna kms i hate maths im so failing mathswhy is it functions i dont understand shit

The fucking maid day doodle thing its so fucking ugly lmaooooo pls im gonna die

Sorry i did not realized i rambled so much under almost every doodle im very scatterbrained im actually so sorry i dont know why i do this im going to fucking cry i do this with literally anything even in schoolwork okay its so laye i haeto sleep maybe ill edit the long brambles out on laptop tmr my phone is lagging the shit out

[seokjinsdisciple]

between the pages

summary: you and namjoon had dated for a few years before life drew you apart. years later, you’re skyrocketed to the bestseller list as your first book gets released. and who’s book sits next to yours in the bestsellers display? namjoon’s does. will this be your second chance at a perfect love?

warnings: its very fluffy to be honest, theres probably language, all the poems are credited at the end of this post bc i cannot write poetry to save my life. so.. yeah

WC: 4k

UNEDITED SORRY

You hunched over your laptop, blanket covering your shoulders as your fingers typed furiously on the keyboard. You were so close to finishing your first novel, a romance. You were pretty proud of it if you were honest with yourself. It had taken you years. The only thing that had kept you going all of this time was the memories of your childhood sweetheart that you got to relive as your words danced across the page as you wrote. 

“In the end, it was always you. It is only in your eyes that I can see my whole world.”

You smiled, clasping your hands over where Monie’s hands cupped your face. You were exhilarated, heart racing from your chest as he leaned down. The moment you had waited so long for was here, and as his lips gently touched yours, your world exploded into color. 

You know you looked silly, a gremlin over your laptop with a grin that you couldn’t shake off of your face. You remembered that day like it was yesterday, the start of something so incredible between you and Namjoon. 

Yours was a whirlwind romance, and it lasted from the beginning of junior year to the end of your sophomore year of college. There wasn’t any bad blood between the two of you, it was more of a right person, wrong time. You loved Namjoon, you still did. He taught you everything about love that mattered. His poetic words set your standards way too high, and his sweet nature didn’t help lower them. 

Namjoon was the perfect lover. Always giving, thoughtful, intelligent and handsome. He was everything you could ever want. Hence why your writing centered so completely around him. Every short story, blurb, and even piece of information was inspired by him. 

You sighed, letting the wave of bittersweet memories overwhelm your senses. You wrote a quick email to your editor, attaching the final chapters. Then you hit send. 

1 YEAR LATER

You stood in front of your book, on display at your local bookstore, under a sign that read: “Newly Released Bestsellers.” Your book was one of many, but that didn’t matter to you at all. 

Your hard work paid off, and your book sitting under this sign at your bookstore proved that. Your eyes wandered over to a book that sat right beside yours. Your heart stalled. There in large lettering in the front of the book read the name you had only allowed yourself to remember in your dreams. Kim Namjoon. 

You found yourself picking up the book before you could stop yourself. Before you knew it, you were walking out of the bookstore with a copy of Namjoons book tucked under your arm. That night, you read the entire book in one sitting, unable to put it down. 

When you reached the end, you had tears streaming down your face. He had written a beautiful love story. Your love story. You grabbed your phone, searching your contacts until you reached his number. 

Your finger hovered over the call button, but you couldn’t do it. 

It had been too long, and you were just feeling emotional. You couldn’t call him out of the blue like this. But you could stalk him. And you did. 

You scoured the internet for anything that could tell you about him, his life, what he was up to. You just wanted to see who he had become. Obviously, you knew he was a writer, but the book he had written about you was one of many books. Unlike you, he had filled the past few years writing as many books as he could. It was no surprise that most of them were poems. He had always been so enamored with writing song lyrics, and they’re one in the same. 

You spent a few hours stalking his social media, reading what poetry was posted online and collecting your thoughts. You hated the way you got excited at his relationship status being single, yet you couldn’t stop thinking about the memories you had created together. 

“Namjoon!” you giggled, gently hitting his back as he threw you over his shoulder, “Put me down!”

“Don’t yell at me! I’m not the one who broke a glass and am walking around the kitchen with bare feet. I’m just keeping you safe, tulip.”

Your nose scrunched over his back at the use of the nickname. You thought it was corny, but Namjoon loved it. He always explained that tulips symbolized perfect love, so it was only fitting that he called you that. You never won that argument, and you would be lying if you said it didn’t make your heart skip a beat. 

Namjoon walked you carefully through your shared apartment, the giggles you couldn’t control growing louder as he threw you gently on the bed. He trapped your body underneath his, pressing a gentle kiss to your nose before returning your smile. 

“I think I have to make sure there isn’t a single scratch anywhere on your body,” he whispered, letting his gaze on you intensify until you couldn’t help but squirm. 

You felt the ghost touch of his hands on your skin as you reminisced. Letting your fingers run through your hair, just like Namjoon used to do absent-mindedly while he read in the morning. Then you took a deep breath and pulled your laptop onto your lap. The only way you could get through these memories was to write them down. 

So you did. Which is exactly how your second book got published. 

–

Namjoon had ridden his bike to the bookstore, one of his favorites in town. He loved exploring the new titles that they highlighted, not to mention his writing got discovered at this very bookstore. They were known for selling self-published books of newer authors. After his second book had been published, he had gotten picked up by a publishing company, and his writing became his career. 

When he stepped into the bookstore, the familiar ring of the bell above the door sounded. He lifted his hand in a friendly wave as the shop owner said hello from the checkout. Namjoon almost walked past the local bestsellers, until a name from the corner of his eyes made him stop dead in his tracks. It was your name. 

He immediately picked the book up, looking through its synopsis and reviews. Your biography on the inner sleeve made him smile. Dimples fully on display, Namjoon took in his surroundings. His most recent book sat next to yours. 

“Irene?” He called, holding the book tightly in his grip. “Has this author come in and talked to you yet?”

The shop owner made her way over, taking one glance at the name on the book he was holding before nodding.  

“Oh yeah, she was here earlier this morning,” she spoke. Namjoon’s heart thudded in his chest. Had you stopped at the sight of his name just like he had yours. “She actually bought your book.”

Ignoring the knowing smirk from the owner, he grinned. 

“Do you two know each other?” She had asked as he paid for your book, dumb grin still plastered on his face. 

“Not anymore,” was all he said before walking out of the store towards his bike. 

6 MONTHS LATER

This process had been quicker than the last, your book reaching bestseller status before the first week was done. You were proud that something you had poured your soul into the past couple of years had enamored the nation. 

You were a little nervous about your book dedication, as you had already received so many questions about who it was about. 

As you stood in Target, holding your own book, you flipped to that page. 

“To a soulmate who was never meant to be. I love you always.”

It was a ridiculous thing to be nervous about, in fact, you knew that Namjoon would likely never read it. Let alone know it was about him. Although you doubted he could come to any other conclusion. 

You were doing press for your new book, and every question seemed to circulate about who your book was dedicated to. You tried to avoid them as gracefully as possible, but it still caught you off guard every time. 

“So, you know we would be remiss if we didn’t ask you what all your fans are wondering,” the talk show host started, smiling widely at you before continuing the question, “Who is your dedication about?”

You gave a short, albeit performative, laugh before answering her, “To be quite honest, I’m regretting putting that as the dedication to my book.”

This made the audience laugh, and you returned it with a short chuckle of your own.

“We are dying to know, if he was half of the man you're writing about, he’d be welcome in my house at any time,” the host joked. 

“He is exactly like what I’ve written. In fact, I blame him for never having a relationship after him,” you laughed, cheeks warming at what you’d just revealed. 

“Well I don’t blame you! If my husband acted like him, I’d never let him go. So why did you?”

“It’s a long story, really,” you answered, mind immediately thrown into memories of that day. 

Namjoon closed the door to your apartment quietly, returning from his shift working at the college library later than usual. He figured you were still awake, after all it was finals week and the two of you had been swamped. 

It came as no surprise that when he turned the corner into your living room, that you sat on the floor, papers scattered around you as if in some sort of summoning ritual. You were stressed out, he could tell from the way your face was scrunched in concentration. He sat quietly behind you, resting his head on your shoulder and pressing a kiss to your skin. 

“We need to talk, tulip,” he sighed, hating the way your body tensed at his words. 

“You got the job, didn’t you?” you whispered back, allowing your body to sink back into his. 

“Yeah, I did. But I don’t need to take it,” he added, a spiteful laugh forming in you at his words. 

“That’s absurd, Joon,” you sighed, “This is your dream job. I will not let you not take it.”

“I know.”

“Ok.”

“So what does that mean for us?” He spoke so quietly you were certain you could hear his heart breaking in his chest. You could definitely hear your own. 

“You’re graduating early, moving across the country, we can’t stay together.”

“I know,” he sighed, holding you closer than before, “I love you, tulip.”

“I love you always,” you had replied, unable to hold back your tears. 

And just like that, the perfect love you two shared was over. He had moved out the next day, not wanting you to be distracted from your final exams. Which was bullshit to be completely honest. That semester you got the worst final grades that you had ever gotten. 

“It was just the right person at the wrong time,” you said, finally answering the host’s question. 

–

Namjoon sat scrolling on his phone, not paying attention to the scenery as the bus passed stop after stop. He was, of course, on the way to the bookstore. He wanted to stop there before heading to his publishing house. 

He walked casually into the bookstore, eyes immediately betraying him and shooting towards the new local bestsellers section. He didn’t expect you to have another book out so soon, but when he caught your name on the cover of a book he hadn’t seen before. Namjoon would be lying if he said he hadn’t kept up with your published works after reading your first book in one sitting. 

It was so easy to read. The way you had crafted each sentence was so eloquent, and made him unable to put it down. It was so clearly about him, that while he had been reading it, he was transported right back to the early days of your relationships.  He was so incredibly proud of you, your book had moved him. Plus he knew how hard you had studied in college. He could still see you sitting in the library. 

Namjoon grinned as he walked over to where you sat at a round table in the campus library. He had just gotten off of work, and was coming to bother you while you attempted to finish writing a paper that was due the next day. Not that you wouldn’t welcome his distraction. 

You grinned back at him as he held up two coffees. He pressed a quick kiss to the top of your head before placing one of the coffees in front of you. 

“How’s it going, tulip?” he asked you as he sat down, hand immediately finding yours and fingers intertwining. 

You looked so happy, giving his hand a squeeze before answering him. 

“It’s ok,” you answered him, “but I wish I didn’t have to write this. I’d much rather start my book.”

“The one about us?” he asked, pleased at himself as his wiggling eyebrows got you to laugh. 

“That very one,” you said. 

He picked up your new book without a second thought, turning it over like he had done a few months ago and reading the synopsis. He didn’t know why he even bothered, knowing that he was going to walk out with it no matter what the back cover read. And that’s exactly what he did. 

He made his way back to the station, waiting for the bus would be much more enjoyable now that he had your most recent work in his tote bag. He pulled your book out, eager to start reading. His heart stopped as he read the dedication page, mind going completely blank as he read those words over and over again. 

You dedicated this book to him. He knew it for a fact. The last words you spoke to him right there on that page. 

All of a sudden his mind swarmed with ideas. And when he made his way into the meeting with his publisher, the idea for his new book tumbled out of his mouth in hurried excitement. 

6 MONTHS LATER

Your hands shook as you stared at the dedication page in front of you. The book you had open was Namjoon’s newest book of poetry. As much as you wanted to delve into the book and read his words, you couldn’t tear yourself away from the very first page. 

“To my tulip, who is the only person who I can seem to write about. I assure you when this life ends, and the dust settles, I will find you in the next.”

He had seen your dedication page. He had to’ve. And yes, maybe it was stupid to respond to each other through dedication pages and books. Especially when you could just text him. But this was the two of you. Communicating in ways that others would be too impatient to follow through with. 

You were impatient yourself, you had been waiting for Namjoon for far too long. But you wanted to keep this going. So you did the next best thing. You dedicated your next short story on your blog to him. But not before reading his poetry first. 

His book was filled with poems about you. They were all about you. You dog-eared your favorite page. The poem on it resonates with you. It read:

“We met at the wrong time. That’s what I keep

telling myself anyway. 

Maybe one day years from now, 

we’ll meet in a coffee shop

in a faraway city somewhere

and we could give it 

another shot.”

It inspired your response. The perfect start to your short story that, unshockingly, was about Namjoon. So you wrote back. 

“Don’t wait until the next life. Maybe we could just get coffee, instead?”

It was all you wrote, and you hoped it was enough. 

You also weren’t sure how to expect Namjoon’s reply. You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t done your research. You knew Namjoon often posted poetry on his blog. It wasn’t far off to assume that he would respond there. 

If he saw it at all. As days turned into weeks, you began to worry that you had assumed too much about him. He probably didn’t even know you had a blog. Maybe tulip was a name he called all of his girlfriends. Or maybe he thought your last response was too forward. 

You checked his blog everyday. Every. Single. Day. There was nothing. No updates or stories or poems. Until he posted a one stanza poem. 

“Always remember, 

my heart holds you

when my arms cannot.”

You groaned to yourself. How could the person you love be so utterly clueless and annoying? The whole point of your last message was to meet up with him. To make sure that he could actually hold you in his arms. That idiotic brilliant man. He never ceases to amaze you. All that was left now was to determine what happened next. 

–

Namjoon was proud of his book of poetry. His favorite part being his (at least what he considered to be a) well crafted dedication to you. The one he loves. The one he has always loved. 

He was convinced that he’d have to wait for your next book to get published to read your reply. He was pleasantly surprised when he got a notification from your blog. You weren’t very active there, so he opened the notification quickly, curiosity outweighing the work he was supposed to be completing. 

He could barely contain his grin as he read your short story. The whole time thinking about your dedication. This was perfect. He knew you’d play along with this game of back and forth. But now he knew just how hard it was to not text you. Now that the ball was in his court Namjoon felt the pressure. 

He couldn’t decide what to do. Did he dedicate a whole book to you just to tell you he wanted you back? Did he write another poem? Did he just say fuck it and text you?

He really couldn’t decide what to do. By the time he had made a decision it had been weeks. He felt guilty at how long you had waited. Realizing that you might not even think he had seen your dedication. 

He wrote the poem. And he started on his next book. He was going to make the best out of both worlds. 

–

You have been writing to Namjoon in the dedication of your works for months now. Each response garnered only a vague poem back from him. You were annoyed. And you made sure he knew it too, your stories started to reflect your frustrations. And your readers were desperate to find out who exactly you were writing to. 

It took them longer than you expected, to be honest. But they finally connected the dots. As you scrolled through a twitter thread explaining the dates of your releases compared to Namjoons, you couldn’t help but smile at both his and your readers coming together. Many of them found that you both attended the same high school and university. At least until Namjoon had graduated early. You could almost see the puzzle pieces click into place in your readers minds. 

The best part is that Namjoon’s readers were just as frustrated as your fans, (and even yourself) and were starting to yell at him. Which thank god for, honestly. You were sick of waiting. 

He had just released a new book, and you were trying to find the motivation to get off of your couch and go to the bookstore to buy it. He had made you wait months for an actual reply, so you had decided he could wait for you. And he would. 

A few days had passed since the release, and as much as you didn’t want to leave the comfort of your couch, you were anxious to read his book. Not to mention your fans and his were tagging you non-stop in reference to his dedication page. So you stood up, got ready and made your way to the bookstore. 

When you arrived, you made your way to the new releases section. Namjoon’s book prominently displayed front and center. You took a deep breath and swore on your life that if this dedication was something stupid you would call Namjoon and end this silly thing. 

Ignoring the gaze of the nosy shop owner who you had come to know over the past two years, you flipped open to the dedication page. Your heart exploded in your chest. Of course he wouldn’t let you down. 

“The bookstore. 10 AM on Tuesdays. Please be free.”

You internally cursed yourself. You had unintentionally stood him up this week. But you’d be damned if it happened again. 

You made a note on your calendar and waited. 

–

Namjoon waited patiently for you the first Tuesday after his book was released. His anxieties tripling at every welcome jingle of the bell that told him when the door opened. You didn’t show up. 

Maybe you didn’t want to see him? Maybe you had been speaking about someone else, or maybe he hadn’t been clear enough about which bookstore. It was nonsense to think that this could’ve worked. 

“She hasn’t bought it yet,” Irene said from beside him. 

“Jesus, Irene. When did you get there?”

“I came to tell you that she hasn’t seen it after your 12th sigh and nonstop glances to the front door. You’re scaring my customers away.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Namjoon rolled his eyes, but his shoulders untensed in relief. You weren’t standing him up. You just didn’t know. 

He would wait here in this bookstore all day everyday until he got the chance to set eyes on you again. 

He spent the whole week thinking about how meeting you again would go. Would you want to kiss him? He didn’t know if he’d be able to keep his hands off you when you did meet. Still, he settled his heart with a hug. He’d wrap his arms around you and never let you go again. 

He made his way to the bookstore Tuesday morning, he was early. He couldn’t wait any longer. He meandered around the bookstore, heart beating out of his chest as waited for you. What if you didn’t show up today? He should’ve asked Irene if you’ve gotten his book yet. 

Namjoon was spinning on his heels to ask that very question when you saw him in between the shelves. The two of you made eye contact, and the whole world stopped. You mustered up all of your courage , calmed your nerves as best as you could and swallowed the lump in your throat. 

“You should really stop writing about me,” you said, a grin growing on your face mirrored by his. The entire bookstore was tense, and you waited with bated breath for his reply. 

“You first,” he grinned, showing off of his dimples. 

And just like that the dam broke. The two of you nearly running to each other, to eliminate any space between you. In a second you were in his arms, lips meeting his desperately.

Kissing him felt right, and as he cupped your face, you pulled away. Breathless, he tugged you impossibly closer to him, noses almost touching as you stared up at him. 

“Don’t ever leave me again,” you whispered, tears threatening to spill as you searched his eyes. 

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” he said, thumb wiping the stray tear that had escaped from your cheek. 

Looking up into his eyes, seeing nothing but truth glittering in them, your stomach exploded with butterflies. Because you knew he never would. He was yours, and you were his.

a/n: hope you enjoyed :)

AND THE POETRY IS: the first poem is written by an unknown author, the second poem is from a book called perry poetry written by bethany perry :)

[fullmusicbardsquared]

Ranking Part 5 Stands!

let's gooooo

Gold Experience: okay, i do like ge! i love their little beetle helmet and how it alludes to haruno's hairstyle, but i don't like the green used for the accents in the anime, and the design is a little busy for me. 8/10

Black Sabbath: I LOVE THIS EVIL DEMONIC MUPPET I'M SORRY.. POLPO LOOKS DUMB BUT BLACK SABBATH MAKES UP FOR IT ALL 10/10

Sticky Fingers: i like how sf and bruno share design motifs, like the zippers, gold, and those spike/hairclip things. i think the zipper over sticky fingers's crotch, while possibly a reference to the album, looks fucking stupid and i hate it. it's not as bad as SOME stands, but i still dislike it. 8/10

Moody Blues: omg it's moody blues my best friend moody blues who looks like a star trek alien if star trek had a budget :) we are going to hang out and watch opera together yay! 9/10

Soft Machine: i like soft machine's ability and little claw, but otherwise they're just okay 6/10

Kraftwerk: same with soft machine but more because they're green and it has the coolest ability ever 7/10

Sex Pistols: i.. number five is valid but otherwise i hate looking at these gnomes 4/10

Little Feet: they're not bad? but i feel like goo goo dolls does the shrinkage better, and the hand is too reminiscent of soft machine 5/10

Aerosmith: i love aerosmith but they are just a toy plane.. also the band sucks nards 6.5/10

Man in the Mirror: the studded leather, goggles, and silly beak just work somehow. maybe not a favorite of mine, but very nice 7/10

Purple Haze: purple haze more like perfect haze i just want to kiss them and give them pets on the head and even when i die bc of their virus, well, it was worth it 10/10

Mr. President/Coco Jumbo: it's a turtle with a key what am i supposed to stay T/Turtle

Grateful Dead: this thing is creepy, i know that's the point it's just that i am unnerved by the eyes and tentacle.. things 7/10

Beach Boy: i'm sorry pesci but having an awesome ability doesn't get you that far in a ranking :( 4/10

Babyface, laptop edition: look i'm just gonna come out and say it. babyface as a laptop is perfection. the purple? the little face? it looks like something out of an old science fiction magazine in the best way possible! the only flaw is that it doesn't have any silly science stickers, and that's because araki was a coward. 9/10

Babyface, homunculus edition: it's meant to look like an evil echoes act 3. it does. it also looks like a grape flavored echoes. what am i supposed to say. 6/10

White Album: the concept of a kitty-cat ice skater armor onesie sounds so stupid but white album ends up amazing <3 i wish the green and purple were the same color, or less bright, maybe a red similar to ghiaccio's glasses? but whatever 8.5/10

King Crimson: king crimson is so beautiful he's too good for diavolo he should just leave. also the white-on-red pattern seems to be based off the discipline album which everyone should listen to so thanks araki :0:-D 9/10

Clash: it's a teleporting shark who fights the law 10/10

Talking Head: yesss speech control cephalopod beast :) also i like how it needs clash to infect someone, symbiosis at its finest 10/10

Notorious B.I.G: look at them

10/10

Spice Girl: weirds me out how they have chest protrusions, but otherwise they're amazing.. i like pink ok 9/10

Epitaph: :o 8/10

Metallica: they're so cute guys they look like little cartoon ghosts 9/10

Green Day: oh green day.. why did you get cioccolata? you'd be great if it were anyone else. that dress in that one game is so perfect btw 7/10

Oasis: they're nice i guess 5/10

CHR: builds on silver chariot's design and the mozart legend in an excellent way, while looking great on its own! 9/10

GER: it looks like a biblical angel fused with a beetle. 8/10

Rolling Stones: i mean? it represents a lot in the plot but, it's just a rock sculpture. 6.5/10

[notnctu]

cupid’s arrow - h.rj | 7 days

━ sweet greetings from the 7 days fluff series 

genre ❥ slight angst, fluff !!  details ❥ college!au, friends to lovers!au, genderneutral!reader ━ where renjun makes a bet to get you to fall in love with him.  warnings ❥ explicit language, light banter word count ❥ 7.1k  synopsis ❥ The silly boy has no idea what he’s gotten himself into when he makes a bet with his arrogant friend to get you to fall in love with him. Renjun never intends to confess, mainly because his past unrequited loves have demolished his confidence. So a low stakes gamble causes him a great deal of stress and pride, wishing that it was as easy as striking you with Cupid’s Arrow. While he wants your feelings to develop organically, he actually doesn’t know what he’d do if you did end up liking him back. Because to him, you have always been someone unattainable and out of his reach  taglist ❥ @yourmagnanimousholiness​ ; @lovelycharm05​ ; @watermelonxes​ ; @jaehyunsjasmine​ ; @mjlkau​​ <3

a/n ❥ this is author doie ❀!! uhh this came out a little more angsty than i had planned it to be.. anyways its been a long time coming and we’re still working on the requests hehehe uhh keep an eye out for some blog updates bc we are starting school soon :) thanks for sticking with us so far! lots of love for everyone<3

Huang Renjun catches a glimpse of your enchanting figure across the lecture hall and how you effortlessly slide into your usual seat near the front. The tap against the tiny turnout table with your pen, ruffling your hair to only have it fall back in place beautifully, and aura alone suffocates him.

In a three hundred person lecture, all he sees is you. The only person in the room who has his undivided attention and while it might be entirely infatuation by your attractiveness, the mutual friends you two share describe you having a heart of gold.

A heart that is impenetrable. Strong, sturdy, shining metal that no one has been able to get through, but Renjun thinks that it’s because you can tell someone is undeserving. Keen and observant eyes, it’s a good thing that his stares don’t linger for long.

As he walks down the descending steps to sit in the row behind you, he remembers a very drunk night over the past weekend and an idiotic bet that has him punching himself. He wishes that he never agreed, but the liquid pride in him could not bite his tongue.

“(Y/N)?” His friend scorns and Renjun slaps his forehead at the slip of your name. Truthfully, the alcohol is messing with his head and he’s saying things that are no longer in his control. But how could he have possibly let the one secret he holds to himself out into the small crowd.

He mumbles profanities underneath his breath, trying to limit light from hurting his blurry vision, and rubbing his throbbing temples. “Yes, (Y/N).” There is no confidence in his voice at the whisper of your name.

“Dude, (Y/N) is way out of your league.” The headache just doesn’t have an end. He knows this; there is no way you’d ever bat an eyelash at him first. Renjun just likes things that are impossible to him, a poor habit of his.

“I bet I could get (Y/N) to get with me first before you ever can.” Then, Renjun’s eyes shoot open wide and the view of the arrogance laughing in the dimness slowly boils his blood.

Renjun may seem like the weaker link to pick on, but he is not one to give up a fight. While his friend has an advantage, the last thing Renjun would want is for you to fall for a horrendous two faced personality.

He’ll charm your pants off and when he gets what he wants: the victory and your vulnerability, he’ll hurt you. Would you be able to see past his fake genuineness or actually fall for the person he plays so well? Renjun can’t let anyone hurt you if he can prevent it.

“I bet that I can get (Y/N) to fall in love with me.” Renjun stumbles to stand up proudly, making himself bolder and more intimidating. Nevertheless, the drowsiness intoxicates him and he can barely keep his line of vision focused.

He sees the disgusting smirk on his friend’s face and a hand extends out for Renjun to shake. “Okay. Let’s bet on it. If you can’t get (Y/N) to fall in love with you, they’ll be mine and you can’t speak to them ever again.”

“Nice use of claiming someone who barely knows you exist.” The alcohol didn’t take away Renjun’s sharp sarcasm and the constant rolling of his eyes.

Renjun truly has no confidence at the game he decided to engage in, his only motive is to protect you from a bad guy. He wouldn’t even know how to handle the potential chance that you could like him back, did you have the ability to do so?

He never had the intention to confess to you, his heart has been broken all too much already by unrequited loves from his past. And if he had to be honest with himself, his admiration for you has become so strong that even he’s afraid to be someone to taint it.

What are the odds that the entire row behind you is already filled? Renjun’s throat closes when he sees the empty seat right next to you and the professor starting up his presentation. Other students push past him to hurry into empty seats before lecture begins, and his own feet pick him up toward you.

Like a magnetic pull, you attract him with an inexplicable force so naturally. Clearing his throat, he swallows the anxiousness that blocks him from speaking. 

“Is this seat taken?”

This is it. This is the first of many looks you two will share, and Renjun’s heart pounds at his chest to wait for your eyes to meet his own for more than a second.

As if the room falls silent and everything is in slow motion, Renjun captures the very image when you blink up at him with beautiful dazzling gentleness and the utter sugar of your lips curling upwards. And he’s stunned, hoping it doesn’t show on his face.

“No.” It’s a simple reply and nothing worth jumping out of joy about, but he tries so hard to hold back the growing smile of your acknowledgement. You are being polite, but something inside of him feels giddy and like static running through his veins.

“Thanks.” Dropping his bag, he enters the seat carefully and sits with his hands folded together on the tiny table.

You examine the attentive boy, as his focus is trained on the lecture slides and the unprepared professor messing with his mic. Chuckling, “you don’t take notes?”

Renjun is surprised at your sudden interaction, completely blindsided by your friendliness. He wasn’t sure how well that would have worked, but your curiosity speaks for you. “I actually forgot my laptop today.” The heavy device sits in his bag at his feet, but he doesn’t dare take it out after the lie.

The soft ‘oh’ that falls from your mouth is too cute and Renjun clears his throat to bring him back from his daydreams of you. Looking apologetic, he shrugs and pretends to gear his attention back to the professor, who finally starts the long awaited class.

“I can send you my notes for the day, if you’d like.” The kindness in your voice does not go unnoticed, in fact, it causes Renjun to hold onto it for a little longer to fuel his undying crush for you.

“I’d love that—” Perhaps he shouldn’t have used the word love for the strictly friendly gesture. “—you’re a lifesaver. Uh, how should I refer to you as?” Playing dumb is his only way to get to you, for now.

“(Y/N). And you?” You hand your phone toward him with social media popped up to input his user handle.

Renjun introduces himself as his sweaty fingers type, and he wonders if he should have polished up any photos that may have you steering away from him. However when he returns your device, the smile that lights up your face allows him to breathe easily.

“I knew you sounded familiar. You’re friends with Jaemin, right?” Your whisper grows soft as you multitask to make conversation and jot down a few important bullet points from the slides. Renjun tries hard to dissect the information as well, but the boring tone of his professor is nothing compared to his crush finally having conversation with him.

“We’re housemates along with two other people.” His body is able to relax now that he’s broken the wall of introductions. You carry yourself to be more intimidating than you actually are.

When he peeks back over at your concentrated expression, your lip is hidden by your top row of teeth and your quick eyes dart between the monitor and your page. How are you so good at literally everything?

“A small world.” He picks up your every word, “well Renjun, since this class has basically ruined my life, would it be too much to ask if you’re down to study with me?” And despite the fluorescent lights being absolutely dull, they still dust your eyes with an enticing glitter.

He must have been staring for too long because you start your sentence of doubt, but Renjun stammers over his response. The professor isn’t quite happy with the small overlap of chatter and shoots a glare at the two of you.

That’s definitely not a good way to start, but it’s memorable. Renjun motions for your pen, and scribbles in his own font the answer to your offer:

I’d love that :)

Then, his heart soars back into the clouds once again at the grin that settles and your written response:  

Me too <3

How does one get someone to fall for them? If Renjun knew, he wouldn’t still be single and infatuated with someone too good for him. He wishes that it’s as simple as the myths make it out to be, where all Cupid had to do was draw his bow and launch a loving arrow that pierces through the heart — an instant love.

But playing Cupid himself is harder than anticipated. He has no handy tools to assist him with his goals. He just has himself, lacks luster and is invisible. Can he be more painfully boring?

And he looks at you with literal hearts in his eyes. An excitement that awaits him, the true meaning of a head turner. That is you. And all he can offer is his mere presence.

“So how did you and Jaemin meet?” Looking up from your blinding laptop screen, Renjun feels the light tap underneath the table from your foot. He chuckles at the subtly adorable affection, and your own way of showing it.

This has to be the third round of study sessions you two shared, and bit by bit, he falls more and more for you despite it needing to be the other way around. The captivating get-to-know you conversation of favorites all down to your aspirations and goals.

The intelligence of you, your wisdom, your perspective. While he did not have this insight before, knowing it now only makes you more alluring. He can’t believe you’re even sitting with him in his shared living room, just the two of you.

“We met at orientation. He’s persistent.” Renjun laughs lightly and you smile in return, nodding along with his statement.

“Wish I met you guys at orientation. I was never the one to reach out to people first until college forced me out of my shell.” He hopes his ears didn’t deceive him, but Renjun had to do a double take: you said you guys, which includes him, right? You wish you had met him earlier?

But the latter shocks him a bit. If he recalls your first meeting, you were the one curious enough to continue speaking to him. “I would have never guessed.”

“Really?” There is a notable light in your eyes as you tilt your head. “I don’t seem shy?”

“Not at all…” He has to stop himself from going on an incredible tangent about how greatly outspoken you are, it gives away too much on how observant he’s been.  

“I’m good at hiding it then.” You examine the soft shade of pink on the tips of his ears and his averting shy gazes. “What are you good at hiding?”

Your question leaves him speechless and gripping at any ends of answers. There are a number of ways he can go about it, but the truth is not one of them.

What is he good at hiding? His unconditional affection for you. He’s good at concealing every heavy heart beat at your smallest actions. He’s good at keeping a regretful secret bet.

But as those options pop into his head, he doesn’t want to say any of them. So, he opts for a white lie instead and hopes that the hesitation doesn’t sell him out for being a nervous wreck.

“I’m good at hiding what I fear.” You blink at him, clearly intrigued to want to know more.

“You do seem pretty fearless, Huang Renjun.” There is a brief exchange of eye contact and Renjun swears that his pounding heart can be heard in the silence. A smirk on your lips as you return to your work, he’s warm inside from the usage of his full name. And you don’t even realize the effect you have over him.

“So, you and (Y/N) are close. How did that start?” Jaemin jumps onto Renjun’s neatly made bed. The covers are now ruffled and tossed from the impact.

Jaemin isn’t home very often, but in the rare times he has been, it’s always during the study sessions with you. The first time you came over, Jaemin tried not to talk up a storm from seeing a familiar face. He respects Renjun’s relationships, so he tried his best to keep from prying at the boy.

“You finally want to know?” Renjun scoffs lightheartedly, punching his housemate lightly on the shoulder as he swivels around in his chair. With an excited wide smile, Jaemin tugs at his friend’s arm as an endearing sign of persistence. “Okay, okay. We have the same class.”

“(Y/N) really approached you in a three hundred student lecture?” A tone of disbelief settles in Jaemin’s rhetorical question. He cocks an eyebrow, waiting for Renjun to tell some truth.

“Not exactly. I sat next to them and a conversation just happened.” Renjun shrugs as if it’s nothing big, as if it hadn’t been for your curiosity that started this blossoming relationship.

“Spare me the details.” Jaemin sits up to hold Renjun by his shoulders. The pressure feels oddly crushing, like a whole weight dropping on him. Jaemin stares him dead in the eyes. “What are your motives, Huang Renjun?”

His mouth hangs slightly open from the question. “I can’t be friends with (Y/N)?” Almost defensively, Renjun furrows his eyebrows at his friend, but he can tell Jaemin has caught onto his lie.

“I heard that you made a bet with a certain shithead.” Jaemin rolls his eyes at remembering their horrible mutual, a crime to even consider him as a friend. He drops his heavy hands from Renjun’s shoulders and falls back onto the mattress.  

The alarming expression of grave danger, Renjun is screwed. He gulps the gathered saliva in the back of his mouth, searching for a plausible explanation. “I was drunk.” He slaps his forehead at the stupid reasoning as Jaemin shoots upright to begin scolding him.

“Let me explain,” Renjun covers his mouth to halt Jaemin’s excessive nagging. “I like (Y/N), that’s how the bet even came alive. I slipped up and then he was saying all this stuff about (Y/N) being out of my league.”

“Which is true.” Jaemin adds, quite muffled but doesn’t slip past Renjun.

Renjun glares and thanks him sarcastically. “I made the bet to protect (Y/N) from him. He was provoking me by saying that he can get (Y/N) first and since I was heavily intoxicated, I didn’t think before I spoke.”

Jaemin holds Renjun warmly, seeing that his friend needed a hug from the saddened memory. It’s all too obvious how regretful Renjun feels. “So I’m trying my best at carrying the bet because there’s too much at stake.”

A chill runs down his spine remembering the consequences. He just can’t fail. Jaemin pulls away and lightly pats Renjun’s hair. “Cupid has made you into a fool for your crush.”

“He’s made me into a bigger one for thinking I could get my crush to like me back.” Renjun sighs in defeat and groans loudly. Why does this frustrate him so much? Perhaps it’s the lack of ability to actually get someone to like him back.

Renjun has been single for his entire life, not by choice. He’s done the movie cliches of a confession: a bouquet of roses, a poster, a night under the stars. And not one has ever accepted his feelings. He doesn’t blame any of them since he still struggles with finding things to love about himself. What is there to love about him? He can’t seem to find any redeeming qualities worth mentioning.

But you. You, alone, is simply worth an honorable mention. And now that it’s been well over a month of your friendship, he can confirm that you’re everything he’s ever wanted and more.

“Why don’t you start by being (Y/N)’s friend first? Love doesn’t just happen in an instant, no offense to Cupid or anything. I mean.. isn’t it all just a myth anyways?” Jaemin picks Renjun’s falling chin and he can see the glossy eyes of sadness. They swim with frustration and guilt.

Like an epiphany, Jaemin gave Renjun a starting place. For weeks, Renjun racked his brain for an easy solution out of it all. In reality, he didn’t need any wicked form of magic for foul play. He just wants to be by your side for as long as you allow. And a part of him is scared for you to like him back.

You’ve always been too out of his reach. Standing on a pedestal, you’re something unattainable. It’s lucky that you even bat an eyelash at him. He’s admired you all too much, Renjun won’t actually know what to do if you ever did like him back.

This all stems from his inner insecurities, like a recurring thought: what is there to like about him? Or is he even good enough for you?

If someone had warned him that love could become this confusing, he would’ve sacrificed his heart for something less complicated. To feel. To love. Renjun wishes he can remove the love bow that pierced through his chest.

On a random Friday night, Renjun’s phone rings with an unexpected caller ID. He pauses the song he’s been listening to for the past hour to pick up.

“Renjun! I’m sad and drunk right now.” Your voice is incredibly slurred and he can barely hear you with the loud background noise. “Can you come pick me up?”

“Are you over on Third Ave. again?” He despises that place. A house on the corner of Third Avenue right off the interstate from campus that throws weekly parties. These parties are overcrowded with creeps and cheap booze. Unfortunately, you’re favorite place to run away to.

This isn’t his first time coming to get you. Over the past few months of your established friendship, you’ve sent him numerous amounts of drunk texts calling for him. This is the first time you actually called, preluding to a really rough night you’ve been having.

You sigh into the receiver, “you remembered.” like you’re on the verge of tears, he can hear the quiver in your tiny voice.

“I have your location, idiot.” Renjun smiles at your silly drunk reactions, finding you more enduring from the innocence. “I’ll be there in a blink.”

“Okay, I’ll close my eyes so I can open them to you.” You giggle before hanging up and Renjun can’t keep the widest grin off of his face. He’s rushing out his door, not wanting to wait another second to see you.

One thing Renjun realized after finally growing close enough to you is that through all his infatuation, you’re still a human. While he thinks of you in a sparkling cascading glitter waterfall, you’re made of the same softness that Renjun has. You’re not perfect and he needed to stop idolizing you as if you’re some shiny trophy.

No, he’s learned that he needed to love you for who you truly are. And the moment he broke down your layers, the glass tears that fell from your cheeks were real. The pain through your confident façade, Renjun needed to love you at your lowest.

He saw you for you, not the attractive person from his lecture he drooled months over. You are the exact reality that movies are afraid to portray. You’re courageous, chic, charming. But you’re also shy, soft spoken, and silly. You’re like waking up during dawn and marveling in the silence of a sleeping society. You’re also like smiles on a sunny day and living in the moment.

Renjun is lovestruck, wildly in love with all that you are. The only thing that brings down his spirits is the lingering bet he made several months ago and he hates how it’s always gnawing at him. It’s like an echo, bouncing off the walls of his mind. He can’t shake it off. Most of the time, he tries to focus the moment in front of him, but it has him tossing and turning in the middle of the night.

Without much surprise, you stand in front of the overflowing party house with eyes cutely squeezed shut. A friend by your side to wait with you. “Open your eyes.” Renjun yells as windows roll down and he double parks the car.

Your eyes gleam in the darkness and bidding your friend a quick goodbye, you jump into the familiar vehicle and embrace your good friend with a longing hug. Renjun chuckles at your adorable actions, patting your shoulder lightly. Despite the cheerful welcome, the mood immediately shifts when he hears your tiny sniffs and feels the tears on his shirt.

“C’mon, your favorite ice cream flavor is waiting for you at my place.” As he whispers positive affirmations, you can only cry harder into his chest. “You’re not feeling too good tonight, are you?”

It’s way too obvious of a question to ask, he knows. Truthfully, he didn’t know what to say and comforting is not his strongest skill without it turning it into a life lesson. He knows what you need, just someone to acknowledge how you’re feeling and to listen.

“I’m feeling the worst tonight. I don’t want to talk about it. Maybe later?” You pull away from his arms, even if he isn’t ready to let you go. He helps buckle your seatbelt and wipe any remaining wetness on your cheeks.

Your hand briefly touches Renjun’s which causes the boy to freeze at the sudden action. Your hazy smile is unclear, but you lean into him before he can process all the randomness. A kiss on his cheek, the most delicate feeling of lips on skin.

Renjun explodes inside, like hazardous fireworks on a cloudy night. He wants to enjoy it, but his circumstances make it difficult for him to. “Thanks for coming to get me.” Your body slumps back onto the seat, a pout on your lower lip. Renjun shifts awkwardly in his seat, buckling his seatbelt to begin the ride home. He can’t find the words to say.

You’re being too casual about what had just happened, as if you’re ignoring it all. Or you simply have no control over anything that you’re doing. “Let me tell you a secret, Injunie.” The sugarcoated nickname. You’re definitely too drunk at the moment, and whatever you do now will be long forgotten the next morning.

Renjun still doesn’t say anything, relishing in the kiss on the cheek just seconds ago. His fingers lightly touch his face, grazing upon the very part your lips came in contact with. He’s truly through the moon and— “I used to have the biggest crush on Jaemin.” Renjun abruptly steps on the brakes, whipping the both of you in your seats.

His heart is falling, it’s plummeting and he can’t do anything to save it. “I really didn’t expect such a surprised reaction.”

Renjun clears his throat. “I’m just caught off guard.” Not a lie, he really wasn’t expecting a confession and his heart to break right at this moment. “Why Jaemin?”

He knows why Jaemin. He’s a social butterfly with no caution to the wind and a heart made of pure kindness. A welcoming friendly figure that won’t hesitate to feed into someone’s need for words of affirmation. Not to mention, Jaemin has a good few inches above him and looks of a poster kpop idol. Of course, you liked Jaemin.

“He has such a good heart. I guess I just like guys who think of me first, as selfish as that sounds. I don’t prioritize myself, so it would be nice if someone else did.” You fiddle your thumbs and Renjun is impatiently tapping his fingers against the wheel.

The red traffic light before you enacts two different feelings. Renjun wants this ride to end as fast as possible. You want this ride to last forever.

“But, Jaemin is seeing someone.”

Your head ducks down and out the window at the shining streetlamps; you know very well about Jaemin’s love life. “I didn’t expect anything from him. I just liked him for him. He came to pick me up every time I would ask, I guess I have a thing for guys who do that.”

Renjun tightens his grip, heart pounding at your statement. You peer up to look at your friend in the lack of light. His glasses sit low on his nose bridge, a soft cotton shirt hugs his torso, and pajama pants that clad his legs. A mess bed of hair as the cherry on top.

After Jaemin, you swore to yourself that you wouldn’t fall for anyone so easily. All of that was thrown out the window the very first night Renjun came to your saving. Despite contrary belief, your heart is not as impenetrable as people make you out to be. And as tough as you can be, it was too hard not to be the slightest interested in him.

Ever since your first meeting, Renjun has always been cool and collected. He’s a hothead at his best, but too playful for any serious damage. Renjun reminds you of yourself. Like a huge impenetrable wall built against any trouble to enter, he is as guarded as you are. He’s timid, and while you had tried your best to hide your own, Renjun simply embraces that part of him.

Renjun stayed after every tearful night. He’s helped you through every difficult study guide, if anything he saved your failing grade.

Renjun puts you first throughout anything; asking if you want the booth seat at restaurants, strategically walking on the outer side so you can avoid driving cars, always has your favorite snacks without you asking. Every tiny gesture, may you be slightly delusional, seemed as if he loved you. And if he did, you wouldn’t mind one bit because you wanted to love him back.

“What about you? We’ve never really talked about our love lives before.” You speak up in the silence, Rejun being awfully quiet tonight. He hopes you don’t blame him, but everything has been too overwhelming. He is no longer sure on what he wants to do or how to react.

“My love life is too sad to talk about.” He’s never wanted to talk about it with you, in case he’d slip up and say something too revealing. “It’s a long list of unrequited loves. I’ve given up on professing my feelings to someone at this point.”

“What would have to happen to get you to confess?” Your eyes coin a mischievous twinkle.

Renjun feels his palms grow sweaty, a bit nervous with this conversation topic. 

“Something catastrophic.”

Something catastrophic did end up happening. Renjun wishes he could disappear, or if he runs away, would anyone notice?

He stands behind your fuming stance. In any other given situation, Renjun would be more than flattered that you’re standing up for him. However in this case, you’re making a fool out of yourself on his behalf.

“Oh, so you haven’t told (Y/N) about the bet?” Of all the nights Renjun decides to accompany you on a Friday evening, he runs until the one person he never wanted to come within ten feet to.

Truthfully, the night was going well. He ran into a few of his other acquaintances from his club, others from his classes. You held onto his arm the moment you two entered the party, afraid to lose this precious boy in the dense crowd. People walked by and expressed how cute you two looked together.

You poured him drinks that will make his head throb and you busted dance moves that made his heart throb. You were the epitome of a fun time, like an explosion of positive endorphins. Your toothy smiles. Your bright electrified eyes. Your sweet laughter. This was the last beautiful image he had of you before everything came falling apart.

“What bet?” You quickly turn around to face Renjun. His hand scratches the back of his neck and his gaze stays staring at his own feet. Your throat grows tight from Renjun’s hesitation.

“He made a bet with me that he could get you to fall in love with him.” Please stop talking, Renjun begs in his thoughts. He tightens his fist, unable to form words to speak. The thumping of the loud music makes it hard to focus.

“He—” Shaky voice and stuttering… even you are having doubts of Renjun’s character. “He wouldn’t do that.” Your eyes bounce between him and Renjun.

“I hate to be the one to break it to you, but you don't know him very well then.” Renjun’s arrogant friend crosses his arms coolly, a smug smirk unfolding on his face.

“It’s true, (Y/N). I did make the bet and I regret it every waking day.” Renjun finally speaks up, but you’re out the door before he can continue.

There isn’t another thought in his head when he’s running after you; you’re already so far down the road. The secret was bound to be revealed, but he wasn’t ready for it. He was never going to be ready for this day because his first mistake was making the bet to begin with.

He should have thought about you. He should have just swallowed his pride and talked his friend out of it. Was that a choice? Could he have just done that instead of letting it fester into such a problem?

Out of breath and out of mind, Renjun calls out your name. When you spin on your heels to walk toward him, his heart reaches for you. However, you push at his chest and he almost falls backwards.

You’re angry, more than angry. You’re upset. You have every right to be. “What were you thinking, Renjun?” There is a small crack in your voice and he can see your tear stained cheeks under the moonlight. “Am I even your friend? All this time… you had an agenda. Were your actions all fake, then? You wanted to manipulate me into falling in love with you?”

Your words are hitting like large bricks. You are questioning the past five months of your friendship and everything Renjun has ever done for you. A false reality, Renjun didn’t actually give a damn about you. He wanted to prove some odd male status. Could you be any more blind?

“Please let me explain… I was drunk out of my mind that night and the bet I made was stupid. It was before proper evaluation. Does it make it okay? No, I understand that.” Renjun speaks with his hands, clearly panicked and frazzled by the way they waved around in the air. “The bet… I did it to protect you from that guy. I didn’t want him to hurt you.”

“So you hurt me instead?” If someone were to listen closely, they would be able to hear the shattering of two hearts tonight. On this late evening, two hearts are broken under the moon and stars.

But it’s pitiful because the arrow that struck Renjun remains intact. He still loves you, which is why it pains him so much to where he can’t breathe. The information in his head is scattered, like an alarm blaring through his empty brain.

All he knows is that he loves you. You are the one thing he’s afraid of losing. From the first words you two exchanged, his fear that he hid all too well is and always will be losing you.

“That was not my intention ever. I never wanted to hurt you.” Renjun takes a step closer, but you take one back.

“Well you did because your little bet… it worked. I love you, Renjun, so congratulations.” There is bitterness and an inexplicable amount of heartbreak that lace your venomous confession.

All of his life, he thought that if one person liked him back, he’d be the happiest person in the world. Possibly confused at how to proceed with the information, but definitely glad that someone could see any redeeming characteristics in him.

But he feels all the opposite. Your confession keeps his heart broken. If anything, it puzzles him more. “How..? Why would you ever like me?” There were no tricks, no attempts at flirtation, nothing out of bounds of being your friend. He just had himself. And if anyone in the universe were to like him, he’d never expect it would be you.

You groan, growing more infuriated at Renjun. “Because you’re everything I wish I could be. You’re level-headed and insightful. You’re calm and cool, without any necessary arrogance. The way you make me feel… I feel important to you, at least, I thought I was.” Your voice continues to drop softer and softer, “how could I not like you?”

The butterflies could not come at a better time. Hearing you compliment him when he found it difficult to look past his own self deprecation, he’s beyond any levels of shock. Nevertheless, he feels apologetic and knew that this is all too good to be true.

“I’m sorry, (Y/N), for making that terrible bet. But, I need you to know one thing: our friendship was genuine. All I’ve ever wanted these past months is to make sure your sweet smile stays resting on your beautiful face.”

“Why? You didn’t know me! You used me for some … pride gamble. I was nothing to you the day you made that bet.” You shout harsh words at him, and Renjun can’t hold back any longer.

This is what he meant by something catastrophic. When he’s pushed to the edge of a cliff, all his buttons are pressed aggressively. Everything falling apart. The loose ends coming undone all too quickly to grapple. He never wanted it to come to this.

“That-That’s not true! I loved you long before that regretful night! You mean every single moment of happiness to me. You’re every ray of sunshine that kisses my skin, every blue sky that reminds me of good days. You mean everything to me.” Genuine words pour from his lips, hoping that you’ll understand what’s left of his heart.

“You’re confessing?” You gasp, practically dazed at the amount of metaphors he compared you to. “Something catastrophic.” A small moment of recollection and a mumble under your breath, you’re understanding what he meant by the phrase he used several nights ago.

“Yes because I can't lose you. I’m a mess of feelings at the moment, but I just know that I’m scared to wake up to days without you in them.” Renjun pleads, the night air causing goosebumps to rise on his arms. His eyes are full of melancholy and fear as he waits for your response.

And you want to forgive him, but would that mean your heart is being too easy? You feel lingering pain, but your eyes reflect Renjun. “To think I thought you were pretty fearless.” Scoffing, you roll your eyes at him and are completely unsure what to do next.

Nevertheless, you’ve wanted someone like Renjun at some point in your life. You hoped for better days and those didn’t start happening until you two met. Renjun went from being your distant study partner to being your number one person to call. He’s wiped more tears than any boy has.

The difference between Renjun and Jaemin is while Jaemin is known to have an extravagantly warm presence, Renjun’s is hidden underneath all the quietness. Like a breakthrough, getting through Renjun felt like getting through to yourself. You needed him to aid in your own self love.

All you’ve ever wanted is to be seen and Renjun saw you.

“I forgive you.” Renjun can finally breathe and rest his tense muscles. But when he reaches for your hand, you take it away. “But it doesn’t mean we are okay. I’ll approach you when I’m ready.”

It’s not easy to love as it’s not easy to pretend that everything can go back to normal after being hurt. You need him to understand that, would he wait for you? The many others before didn’t.

“Okay.” That is all he can say, in the midst of a defeat, he still wishes that you’d stay by his side. But he wrestles that desire with transparency and having organic feelings. Nonetheless, he values the latter. If you did really somehow manage to love him, you’ll come back when you’re ready. He knows. He understands. He sees you through and through.

And he watches you disappear back into the house to find a friend to drive you home. He loves you, but love can also be consequential.

It’s already midway into the school semester and not that Renjun is counting or anything, but it’s been practically a whole month since the night at the party. He’s done nothing, except sigh in despair and reminisce about the memories before they were ruined.

While Jaemin’s efforts to console him are much appreciated, it doesn’t do much for the fact that you haven’t acknowledged Renjun’s existence for a whole thirty days.

And although he’ll wait a lifetime for you, the question of when he should move on ponders his clouded thoughts. His intensively agonizing desire of wanting to be by your side has dwindled down now. Renjun just wants to see you happy.

“Hey Cupid,” It’s a newly despised nickname coined by the one and only person who knows how to push at Renjun’s buttons — Lee Haechan. Haechan knocks obnoxiously at his door and does not wait around to hear an answer, “get your sad face out here.”

“Go away, Haechan. I’m not in the mood.” As Renjun mindlessly skims over his calendar for important dates, he is pained by the reminder of your upcoming birthday. You had marked it yourself a while back and specifically told Renjun that his attendance is entirely mandatory.

Times have changed now, right? You’ve been radio silent for weeks and as much as he hates to say this to himself: you probably don’t remember making such an assertion. Why would you? You’re most likely not thinking about him anymore anyways and maybe that’s for the better.

“Hey! Lovestruck Asshole, I’m not going to tell you again. Get that arrow out of your ass and come outside now.” Just the demand alone in Haechan’s voice irritates Renjun enough to where he’s storming to open his door.

But what it reveals is not the smirk of his annoying housemate, instead, it is the image of the very first time Renjun ever laid eyes on you and the moment Cupid’s Arrow struck right through his heart. It’s a rush of nostalgia that surges through his veins.

You sit with a hand underneath your chin and elbow pressing into a flat surface for support. The dazed stare of daydream as you’re unaware of your surroundings, yet still waiting for something exciting to catch your attention. And just how lovely you look in the softest rose colored shirt and how your lips, still barely glistening from a quick swipe of your tongue, are slightly agape into an expressionless rest.

All before your eyes trail to the distraction of another body entering the room and for a brief second, make eye contact with Renjun as he’s all the more astonished by your grace. Then like a scene that’s imprinted in his head too clearly, your gaze drops back down to the floor and you’re back to your inner thoughts.

As if the pierced arrow in his heart is triggered, Renjun rediscovers the feelings of a newfound infatuation — a crush. Though baseless except in regards to physical attraction, he’s nonetheless amazed by how quickly you take his breath away… again.

Unlike the first memory, you actually speak to him as you’re now familiar with the starry eyed boy. “It’s been a while.”

The color in your voice that he’s missed hearing is pure music. He clears his throat as if he’s afraid of his own vocal chords breaking from nervousness.

“H-Hey, yeah. It’s been a while.” Renjun repeats dumbfounded that you’re even sitting in his shared living room.

“How have you been?” There you are being polite, but the giddiness still runs like static through his veins at being asked about his well being.

“Lost.” He blurts out the first word that comes to mind. Perhaps, he should stop using words with such heavy implications to friendly gestures. Your head immediately pops up and he scrambles to correct himself. “I mean I’ve been distracted lately.”

“Sadness really does take its course.” You tread lightly, testing the waters with a small grin. The atmosphere is oddly comforting, like feeling you can’t quite replace.

Renjun looks rather rough around the edges, but you don’t blame him since you did show up unannounced. However, the glint in his eyes is much of a delight to see. The way his small mouth curves into the tiniest smile and the gentleness in his regular cadence remind you of past long days full of laughter. The best part of them all — you spent them together.

“My birthday is coming up soon.” Jumping straight to the point of your visit, you stand up to approach him. “I plan to host a small party… and I remember saying a while back that your attendance is mandatory.”

Renjun catches his breath in his throat and he could run gleeful laps around the room if it isn’t for the poorly spaced complex. “So are you still down, Huang Renjun?”

“I’d love that.” He smiles greatly at your offer and as simple as that, your arms wrap around his torso into a long awaited embrace.

“Me too.” You mumble into his shirt and take a deep breath of his lavender scented detergent, “I’m ready. I’m ready to have you in my life. I’m ready to laugh with you. I’m ready to lay in your company. I’m ready to give you my heart.”

As you finish your last sentence, his arms wrap around you too and pull you into a tighter hold. “You have always had mine.”

Renjun can finally remove the arrow that unforgivingly stayed stuck in his heart for the longest time. Your reciprocated love fills up the hole that is left behind. He can now love you with a full and whole heart.

[cherryonigiri]

S/O that thirsts over anime/game guys

reposted bc wasn’t showing up in the tags + I want to keep nsfw under the cut

@nononononojustno asked: Okay so could you write a headcanon where 2 random boys (can you pick then? I love all of boys from hq) and Ushi-kun where they walk on their gfs fangirling or thirsting over another anime/game character?And she was talking how hot he is? How they would react?👀😂 have a great day/night and dont forget to eat and get rest, love you💕

A/N: hahahahaha i laughed while writing this. FYI these are all based on legit crushes i had on anime/game characters at some point in my life - see if you’ve watched the shows i’ve watched :) ILY I PROMISE I’M DOING MY BEST TO EAT THREE MEALS A DAY AND GET ADEQUATE SLEEP MWAH. also i went overboard and added an extra boy bc why not. These are a little shorter since there were 4 characters but I hope you enjoy!

Content warning: implied nsfw for Atsumu + slight nsfw hcs for Matsukawa (both are under the cut)

PS: If anyone wants a spicy sequel/one shot for matsukawa i’m open to the idea 👀👀 let me know in my inbox!

Ushijima Wakatoshi

Ushijima definitely knows you’re into anime + games

Having visited your dorm room on multiple occasions he’s seen your extensive collection of manga, anime posters and you always seem to be playing on your switch whenever you have free time

Of course, he notices a significant portion of your collection is centered on male characters

And you’ve definitely mentioned a few games to him - Ikemen Sengoku, Code:Realize, Hakuouki (wow i’m really out here exposing myself) etc.

He doesn’t really mind though? Like - at the end of the day these are 2D men, whereas he is a very real boyfriend

At least he thinks he doesn’t mind

Recently, he notices that you seem to be on your phone a lot, and you seem to be texting the same group chat very often

He asks why and you laugh - it’s not actual text messages you’re just trying out a new otome/simulation game called Mystic Messenger. He finds the name silly but he just brushes it off he’s definitely J E A L O U S

Until one day he walks into your room while you’re calling one of your friends to freak out about that specific game

You sound kind of teary from outside the door “Oh MY GOD OH MY GOD I GOT THE GOOD ENDING WITH JUMIN!” and “[friend name] I THINK I CAN DIE HAPPY I’M MARRIED TO JUMIN HAN WHAT MORE DO I NEED IN LIFE” and “HE’S SO FREAKING ATTRACTIVE UGH I AM BLESSED”

He’s like who TF is Jumin and immediately bursts into your room looking pissed off

Poor babie is all like “you’re married?” and “if you had someone else you were interested in you should have told me.” “Who is this Jumin Han???” 🧐

Oh my god you start cackling, but you manage to tell him that NO you are not married and that Jumin Han is a fictional character from the game you’re playing

Ushijima looks confused after you explain - why would you find fictional men attractive when you’re already dating him?

Tendou almost dies laughing the next day when Ushijima tells him about what happened

Oikawa Tooru

Since practice finishes pretty late he usually goes to see you at your house at night, but tonight things wrapped up earlier - he’s excited to spend more time with you

You’ve finished up most of your homework so you’ve just been rewatching Attack on Titan since you’re super excited for the new season

You’re kinda distracted/have headphones on so you don’t hear your boyfriend knock on the front door. Your mom answers it and lets him in and he climbs the stairs

He can hear your fangirling (freaking out) over something as he walks towards your room

You jump in surprise when he opens the door, because you thought he would be a bit later but immediately release your pent up excitement

“Tooru just LOOK at him he’s such a bad ass like oh my gosh he literally has swords and he’s still running around slaying the MPs who have guns. God whenever he gets angry he looks so hot,” etc. etc.

You’re shoving your laptop in his face, showing him gifs and video of attack on titan, specifically the captain of the survey corps that you are obsessed with

Tooru gets it - for him its space, shitty alien films and astronomy. For you it’s video games and anime - or more specifically, handsome characters from said franchises

Even though he understand that it’s something you’re passionate about he still makes a whole show about whining how you’re in love with Levi Ackerman (lmao i still thirst over our favorite captain) instead of him

“y/n i’m taller than him! And more handsome! He has blood on him all the time! And he’s super annoying because he’s obsessed with cleaning.” *cue pouty Tooru*

You probably shouldn’t tell him that you are an avid follower of the levi x reader tag on tumblr

Tooru still somehow finds out you’re also reading reader insert fanfic and goes BERSERK with his pouting and whining - literally everyone and their mothers have heard his sob story about how “his darling y/n is leaving me for a short germaphobic asshole”

The rest of the team finds it hilarious - the end up pranking him by posting pictures of Levi in his school locker or texting them in the volleyball groupchat (Oikawa is Suffering™)

Makki and Mattsun get him a Levi keychain for his birthday and cackle when he chucks it violently into the nearest trash can

Miya Atsumu

Doesn’t really know you’re into anime/gaming at first

I don’t think that’s on purpose - Atsumu just has such a one track mind when it comes to volleyball and he’s always busy with practice

so he just kinda doesn’t really give all the anime merch in your room a second glance even though it’s a dead giveaway

I bet Atsumu secretly watches some superhero anime - probably shounen stuff like My Hero Academia, one punch man etc.

He probably starts to notice you’re into anime/games because you’ll play games on your phone/gaming device all the time

One day he notices you’re giggling + blushing while looking at your screen. He’s curious to he heads over to you when coach says they can have a break

Peeks over your shoulder because he wants to know what you’re playing - but instead he’s greeted by some 2D samurai guy called Harada Sanosuke asking you to marry him

“Huh, I didn’t know you were into this kinda stuff y/n” tries to sound playful but internally he is screaming / ?????? WOT I DIDN’T KNOW MY S/O WAS INTO OTOME GAMES

Atsumus pretty chill about it at first, he probably teases you a lot about playing the game but isn’t really bugged about it

“Maybe you should thirst over your boyfriend instead of a fictional character babe~”

I mean - he knows he’s attractive and why be jealous? You only really play the game when he’s busy and you don’t really let the game play seep into your dates/hangouts

But one time he walks in on you reading some ~spicy~ hakuouki x reader fanfic and he’s like are u serious

Like you were lowkey quiet screaming to yourself and muttering “omg omg omg” when he walked in and you definitely tried to close your laptop so he couldn’t see what was open in your browser

Too bad Atsumu has mad reflexes and manages to prevent you from making your computer go to sleep

Briefly skims whatever it was that you were reading and smirks at you

“Hey, if you really want something like this, why don’t you let your real boyfriend deliver” before kissing you

Matsukawa Issei

Look, Issei just wants a chill movie/tv show night where the two of you can bundle up on the couch and binge whatever anime you feel like

Has everything set up - this man is ready to go: snacks? he has all of your favorites, couch? filled with soft pillows + multiple pillows. Attire? Comfy sweatpants shirtless 🥵

Last time he chose the series for your binge sleepover so he let you choose what the two of you were gonna watch this time

Turns out you decided to watch Psycho-Pass - it seemed like a pretty cool show, he was down with the whole dystopia/psychological concept

Starts out pretty normal, is appreciating the action + mystery elements and is glad that you chose that show

About halfway through the anime you two decide to take a break - he goes to the kitchen to refill your snacks, leaving to stretch you back.

When he comes back with more food, he notices that you’re hunched over your phone, typing something

He sneaks up behind you after he puts the food down, “Whatcha reading there babe?” You squeak and try to hide your phone, but not before he sees the words kougami x reader typed into your tumblr search bar

Lit-rally exCuSE me what - he’s not mad (more amused than anything else) but he also kind wants to tease you (bc Mattsun is a little shit)

“Is that the reason you wanted to watch this show?” he asks playfully. “He’s pretty hot tho, I kinda agree with you there babe.”

Now that he’s released the floodgate, he can’t stop your occasional comments like “omg how does he look so GOOD when he’s punching someone” or “he could shoot me with his dominator and i’d still say thank you”

The thirst comments are kinda getting to him, so he decides to take things in a different direction

“Let me what I can show you with my dominator~” L M A O I’M SORRY THIS EXISTS

Suddenly you’re being pulled onto his lap, and pressed against his bare chest, Issei barely gives you time to adjust before he’s kissing you roughly, tongue plunging into your mouth

His hands wrap around your hips pressing your core closer to his own, and you can feel his hard-on pressing into your stomach

He’ll be sure to suck a dark hickey onto the side of your neck and his hands travel under your shirt, just to remind you who your real boyfriend is

Needless to say, you won’t remember a single thing about the second half of the show after the night is over couch sex? Couch sex 😏

[kaaytea]

Im the anon who requested the Koushuu x manager/Kazuya's sister reader

Since im still completely in love with the dinner headcanons, I was wondering since it its Koushuu's bday, if i could make another request?^^

About how manager/kazuya's sister would surprise him? Maybe she finally convinces Kazuya to let her spend some time with Kou in the dorm room and they have this really special, fluffy moment cause he deserves some love on his bday🥺🥺

I’m honestly surprised at how quickly I wrote this (see what happens when you guys inspire me😤) so hopefully it sounds consistent. As a fellow Koushuu lover I had sO much fun writing this. Technically bc Wolfy's birthday is in the winter, Miyuki wouldn't share a dorm with him anymore but for the sake of this oneshot let's pretend third years are allowed to stay on the team 🤭 I hope you like it anon! 💖

Reason

----------------------------------------------------------

"Please Nii-chan!"

Kazuya's face scrunched in displeasure as he twirled the bat in his hand.

"How many times do I have to say no?" He flatly stated. Kazuya kicked his foot against the crate you were sitting on, his way of trying to end the discussion and get you to continue tossing balls for him.

You let out a deep sigh before picking up another baseball, briefly letting your fingers brush over the worn stitching and scratched leather then lightly tossing it up where Kazuya cleanly hit the ball into the net. You sat there stewing in your thoughts as you continued to half-heartedly toss the balls up, putting in only just enough effort to get the ball up for your brother to hit. You didn't flinch at the sharp clang of the bat, once upon a time you might have, but at that moment you were too upset to even give it a second thought.

"Ok, but what if-"

"(Y/n)," Kazuya cut you off with a stern look, his tone was frighteningly reminiscent of the one your father used to scold you. The simple utter of your name immediately sent chills up your arms as you fought the urge to cower as you did when you were a child. "I said no, I'm not discussing this with you anymore."

You shot up from the crate, gripping the ball in your hand tightly as you glared up at your brother. You weren't going to let him play the older brother card -not this time! You would keep pushing for this until he broke down.

"But it's not fair! You hang out with your friends all the time! Why can't I?!"

"Because Dad told me to look after you, and that includes keeping you from mischievous boys"

Your face screwed up in a sour expression, "If you wanted to keep me from boys why in the world did you let me become a manager for a BOYS baseball team?"

Kazuya stared down at you, his mouth opening and closing as he tried to find the words to respond to you.

"That's.....that's actually a good question. Any chance you'd consider resigning?"

"NII-CHAN!"

The boy broke out into a fit of laughter leaning his weight onto the bat to keep himself upright as he gasped out phrases like: "your face!" and "You actually thought I was serious!"

You huffed at your brother’s childish behavior and slumped back onto the crate, leaning your head on your palm as you spun the baseball around In your other hand. You were completely frustrated with Kazuya, he was treating this like a joke, and somewhere deep in your heart you were a bit hurt by his lack of faith in, not only you but Okumura as well.

Kazuya's laughter started to die down as he straightened up and got back into his batting stance. Only this time you didn't toss him a ball to hit, he watched as you dejectedly dropped the ball in your hand back into the crate.

"Do you really not trust me?"

You heard him sigh through his nose, followed by the sound of another crate being dragged over so he could sit in front of you. He kicked your foot gently, an unspoken way of him telling you to look at him while he talked.

"Look, it's not that I don't trust you, you're very smart and have always been careful with who you make friends with," he offered you a small smile making you fight the urge to smile back, "It's more the fact that you asked to be alone in a dorm room with Okumura. That boy confuses the hell out of me, I never know what he's thinking so it's difficult for me to give you permission to leave you unsupervised with him."

You snorted at what he said. Your brother made Koushuu sound like a mysterious delinquent when in reality he was anything but.

"Nii-chan, Kou can't look me in the eyes longer than 5 minutes. You don't have to worry about him doing anything bad."

"Kou?!" He gasped out. The catcher brought a hand to his forehead dramatically, "You're on a first-name basis with him already! What do I do?! You're being corrupted!"

You groaned, rubbing the heels of your hands into your eyes trying to distract yourself from the unavoidable headache that would surely appear in the next few minutes.

Kazuya stood up from the crate and pushed it to the side with his foot.

"Two hours"

"What?"

"I'm giving you two hours with him -but that's it!"

A grin spread across your face and you jumped up trapping Kazuya in a tight hug. One of his hands ruffled your hair as you babbled out thank yous.

"Yeah, yeah whatever. Now get off, I wanna get through the rest of this crate, and then I'll walk you back to your dorm."

--------------------------------------------------

The day was finally here! Your brother had graciously granted you two whole hours to hang out with Kou in his dorm! Safe to say you were a little more than excited as your dorm mates teased you about seeming extra lively that morning. You simply brushed it off as having gotten a good night’s rest, but the heat radiating off your cheeks contradicted your efforts.

You checked the gift bag hanging loosely from your wrist for the thousandth time as you approached the familiar door. After confirming that his gift was still safely stowed away, you gently knocked and impatiently bounced on the balls of your feet while waiting to be let in.

It didn't take long for the door to swing open and reveal the familiar eyes that always shone with warmth, a juxtaposition to their icy color when you were around. It took you countless hours and silly conversations to melt Okumura's frosty exterior, leaving something reminiscent of a loyal pup.

"Hi," he softly said, already moving to the side to let you into the dorm. When the door closed you threw yourself at Okumura, wrapping your arms around the boy’s neck and pulling him into a hug. The action startled him slightly, his body stiffening up from surprise before he cautiously wrapped his arms around your waist.

"Happy birthday, Kou!" You chirped, beaming up at the blonde, whose cheeks were quickly tinting a soft pink.

"T-thanks," he sputtered as he untangled himself from you. Before Okumura could get a chance to process and compose himself you were already pushing his gift into his hands while chanting "open it open it!"

He sat down on the edge of his bed —with you doing the same, positively vibrating with excitement— and gently pulled out a little bundle of blue tissue paper neatly folded over the gift. Okumura carefully unwrapped the object revealing a new pair of batting gloves.

He turned the gloves over in his hands inspecting them. A mixture of white and deep blue detailing produced a very clean look to the gloves. The thicker material around palms and the very obvious brand name instantly made him realize you probably spent a good amount of money to get these.

"Do you like them?" He turned to look at how excited you seemed. The sparkle in your eyes made his heart flutter, but he couldn't shake the slight guilt that ate at him. "Takuma helped me a bit with finding a style similar to your old pair -but, I noticed you rub at your palms after batting so I got you gloves with extra padding around the base of your hands!"

Okumura was a bit surprised at how observant you were. It's true his old gloves, a pair he's had since his second year in junior high, had started to wear down. It always amazed him how you could pick up on small cues in the sport. Although to be fair, you were a Miyuki and had basically been trained by your older brother in everything baseball-related since you could walk.

"They're really nice," he slipped one of the gloves on, clenching his hand a few times to get a feel for them, "you didn't have to spend so much on me though."

You rolled your eyes and bumped your shoulder against his.

"I knew you'd say that...Think of it this way, these will probably last you the rest of your time at Seidou, so technically they were a valid investment on my part." You sent him a gentle smile which he returned before taking off the glove and moving to put them in his practice bag.

While Okumura was occupied your attention was stolen by the laptop sitting open on his bed.

"You weren't doing school work, right? I'm not interrupting or anything?"

The boy looked back at you and shook his head, his blonde hair bounced slightly at the movement. He walked back over to the bed returning to his spot next to you. In one quick movement, he dragged the laptop over to the both of you and unplugged the headphones he had in. Immediately your senses were filled with the voices of announcers and the crack! of a wooden bat.

"The Hanshin Tigers?," You looked up at him where he confirmed your guess with a short nod, his eyes not leaving the screen as he watched the team’s left fielder catch a pop-up, "I didn't know you were a fan."

"I wouldn't really consider myself one," he softly said, "Taku made me watch all their games with him when we were kids, and the habit sort of stuck."

You smiled at the thought of a younger Koushuu being forced to watch games with his enthusiastic friend. You wished you were there at that time to see a younger version of your two friends, Takuma most definitely shaking Koushuu’s shoulders excitedly at any play that seemed remotely difficult. 

It was obvious that Okumura was still invested in the game, and you'd be lying if you said you weren't interested in seeing how it was gonna play out, so the both of you found yourselves sitting up in his bed.

You quickly lost track of time as you both watched the game, pointing out plays and betting on what would happen. Although, the longer you sat the more sore your arm was becoming. Okumura didn't have the largest build compared to other players on the team, but his shoulders were still significantly broader than your own. Because of that you had bent you right arm and shoulder in an awkward position to watched the game. You started to fidget around trying to find a more comfortable way to sit. Koushuu was about to offer to set the laptop up on a desk instead, but his thoughts were cut off when he let out an involuntary squeak as you picked up his left arm and draped it across your shoulders.

"Is this ok?"

He could only stiffly nod as he felt his heart rate pick up and heat spreading across his cheeks. The heat spread to the tips of his ears as he felt you snuggle closer into his side and rest your head on his chest.

As awkward as he felt in the moment, Okumura had to admit that having you tucked under his arm was a nice feeling. He enjoyed being able to connect with you, somewhere deep in his heart he hoped this moment was what would push the both of you to become a little more than just friends. Slowly Okumura relaxed into the feeling, pulling you closer into him and gingerly leaning his head on yours.

--------------------------------------------------

"Koushuu?" You questioned as you both watched the ending ceremony to the game being displayed. He responded with a hum, dropping his hand to play with the ends of your hair.

"Would you play professionally if you were given the chance?"

He sighed, twisting a lock of your hair around his finger as he pondered your question. He was quite familiar with this topic, his family had been asking him that very question for the past few years and he always had the same response.

"If I found a reason to."

He gazed down at you, watching your eyes shift around his face as you studied his expression.

"I've always just followed Kazuya from team to team, managing and learning so I wouldn't be left behind," your eyes flicked to his lips briefly before locking back on to his crystalline hues, "But he leaves in a few months....I've been trying to find a new path to follow."

A greedy voice from the depths of Okumura's mind whispered 'me'. If he were to be honest he already found his reason to continue perusing baseball, and that reason was you.

In only a short time span you had somehow given a new meaning to the game, your passion and joy for the sport had spread into his heart and, as selfish as it sounded, he hoped that you'd join his side and face the sport together as partners once your time at Seidou came to an end.

Neither of you had noticed how you were slowly leaning closer and closer to each other, a magnetized energy pulling you together. With your noses just barely touching, you cupped his jaw and started to tilt your head up.

"YOUR TWO HOURS ARE UP (Y/N)! ITS TIME FOR YOU TO LEAVE NOW!~"

The magnetic feeling vanished the instant the door slammed open and Kazuya practically sang for you to leave. Luckily, Okumura had quick reflexes and was able to put a decent amount of space between the two of you the moment Kazuya's voice echoed around the room.

"I'll walk you back to your dorm," he said softly, avoiding looking at his captain as you both shuffled out the door.

The walk to your dorm was silent. There was nothing to say as you were both too embarrassed to mention what had almost happened.

Okumura was somehow even more aggravated by Miyuki, the both of you were so close to finally admitting and giving in to the chemistry that had been slowly and steadily building since summer break. All of that progress was ruined in a matter of seconds by the nuisance of a captain.

You stopped in front of your dorm door, quickly looking down both halls only to find the area vacant of any other girls.

"Koushuu," you tapped his shoulder making him turn his attention from the floor to you. Your arms wrapped around his neck and you reached up on your tiptoes, your lips a hairs width away from his.

"Happy Birthday," you whispered before pressing your lips together.

Okumura gently returned the kiss, his hands hovering near you —unsure of what to do with them— until you moved his right hand to cup your cheek. Instinctively he tilted your head up slightly.

You both pulled away with batted breath and burning faces. In those few seconds following, your actions caught up with you. Your body burned in embarrassment as you stuttered out a 'bye' and slipped into your dorm.

Koushuu's fingers drifted up to his mouth as he walked back to the baseball team's dorms, still slightly in shock at the situation.

Hopefully, that first kiss showed you your new path just as it had confirmed his.

[transhoverfish]

Just curious..

What do you like and don't like about each of the Subnautica games? (If there's anything to hate about these games, they're amazing)

tbh i dont have many complaints about either game, although i have felt that playing both quickly after the other does,,, make the differences super noticeable. things in sub1 i never had a problem w or didnt bother me much have become more bothersome now that ive played bz

like the battery meter on tools and the option to choose where each go in the slot? having to mess w all my tools to get them the EXACT order i wanted (for maximum efficiency of course) was always sort of annoying to me but nbd. now i can barely STAND how the tool menu works/looks in sub1 bc the bz version is.... so much better

I ALSO have a few gripes w bz that have slowly started to bother me more and more as i play. and by a few i mean one thing specifically. the CRASHING. obvs both games have a bit of a crashing and framerate and pop-in issue, but bz is just,,,, so much worse when it comes to crashes.

ive had sub1 on pc and ps4 for like, 3 years now?? and ive dealt w maybe around 5-10 crashes total in those three years, very sporadically? since ive bought bz less than a month ago ive dealt w at least 30 crashes. if i play for an hour it crashes at LEAST 1 time, usually 2 or 3 on average. i quit playing due to crashing more often than i quit after a save and exit. and although ive played sub1 considerably less on the switch, its still not crashed a single time, which makes me think it might be a bz problem and not a switch problem, but idk. i save often enough that i never lose more than 10 minutes at worse, but still,,,,,the crashing is constant. if the loading times were as bad as sub1's (which thankfully they are not), i would probably only play every once in a while bc i just cannot get more than 30 minutes in w/o a crash.

speaking of loading screens holy SHIT sub1 takes like 3 minutes at best to load in a NEW save. i could literally get up and make myself lunch and be back before it loads up on a save with more than 1 small tube of a habitat built in. bz has sped that up a lot which makes the loading screen feel even worse (once again, fixing a problem and then going back to that problem in sub1 just accidentally makes the game a bit more frustrating)

other than those few technical problems, most of which could very well be due to my own old ps4, laptop that doesn't quite meet the spec requirements, and attempt to play subnautica on a SWITCH of all things; the only genuine complaints i have about both is the ending in sub1 being 'make the rocket' after the lost river/lava zone segments is the worst part of the game and i almost never fully finish playthroughs bc that much resource collecting and grinding at the v end is hell! aaand the ice spires can compete with the dunes for "large open area full of death and bullshit that nobody ever wants to go to" bc i spent an hour and a half in the arctic spires the first time i went there in survival! and despite exploring it extensively in creative and having a base right outside in survival i STILL get lost constantly. for the record im usually good at navigating back to somewhere in these games w/o signals, esp if ive been there multiple times. i just get lost in the arctic spires constantly. the ice worms dont help!!!

I JUST REALIZED IVE TYPE. A LOT OF COMPLAINTS. SORRY ABOUT THAT AKRBKABRJRBS ILL GET TO THE THINGS I LIKE NOW I PROMISE

the soundtrack in both games is AMAZING and i geniuenly just listen to them both for fun and get the songs stuck in my head sometimes. theres one from bz in my head right now it plays in the lilypad islands and i cannot remember what its called rn.

the sound design is both games is also really good?? i sit on the bz start menu and listen to the pengwengs, and sub1 in particular is like my favorite sound design in anything ever. i go in creative and just chill next to the creatures SO OFTEN. crabsquids, warpers, and sea dragons specifically sound so nice i could fall asleep to crabsquid noises they're so nice??

the ways the pdas are used for story telling is super nice, and ive always loved the little insights into the characters lives it gives u!! figuring out what happened to sam in bz and listening to all the final pda's in sub1 is always one of if not the favorite part of the games, i listen to every single pda every single time i play, i always feel just as sad for ozzy and keen and fred and the mercury crew and AAAAAA im very attached to these characters <33

also marguerit maida. need i say more.

SO if i talked about everything i liked in these two games i would b here for 3 hours so know that there is much much MUCH more i adore about them and my complaints about the arctic spires and crashing and loading times very much pale in comparison to all the good from the two!! bz is still very recently released so i believe the crashing issues will be dealt w in the future!!

i have many strong feelings for both games AND ive heard that apparently they've already confirmed a 3rd in the making? 👀 didn't look that up admittedly but if it IS true ill 100% b backing it up bc i ADORE this universe and its silly little fish and the silly little people i wanna hug. im full of love and subnautica takes up at least 67% of that love its my whole entire world i cannot imagine shutting up about them and ryley and robin anytime soon <3333