#i wanted so badly to finish iconing that movie today man

[fledermoved]

😠

[xpedropascal]

To Be So Lonely [Maxwell Lord x Reader] Part Two

Summary: After being struck by a family tragedy, Maxwell Lord finds his legacy in taking over his father’s business, Black Gold Cooperative. Cold and shut-off from the world around him, he decides he does not have time for anything other than his work and cares only about pushing his company to success – but how difficult does that become for him when you enter his life as a ghost from the past?

Pairing: Maxwell Lord x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2.6k

WARNINGS: stalker-ish behaviour, mild sex reference

PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE | PART FOUR [coming soon!]

MASTERLIST

KO-FI

AUTHOR’S NOTE: yay! chapter two! :) flashbacks can be identified through use of italics. To Be So Lonely will have themes of hurt/comfort, angst, fluff etc. i plan on it being a whole exciting ride. there will be connections to the DCEU and certain characters will making an appearance... however, for story-telling purposes, this will be in an alternate universe to Wonder Woman 1984 just because the movie has yet to be released. the main bulk of the story will be set in the 80s, with the occasional childhood flashbacks. please let me know if you want to be added onto a tag list!

♡♡♡ TWO ♡♡♡

Gotham was a bustling city, and practically lead by none other than Bruce Wayne, CEO of Wayne Enterprises and on-going rival to Maxwell Lord. Wayne Enterprises, as an international conglomerate, was taking the world by storm under Bruce’s reign. He had shares in railway, aerospace, technology, food, and more recently; oil. Much like any other successful CEO, Bruce Wayne would do anything to see his business thrive, but at the moment, he had his eye on something very particular. He was a man with a plan. Bruce Wayne was fearless, but he knew when to be concerned, as across the country, Maxwell Lord led the biggest oil extraction company, Black Gold Cooperative.

“Mr Wayne,” his assistant, Gemma, dropped a file on his desk. A file with your name on. “Everything is here, as requested.”

Bruce Wayne flicked through your file momentarily, taking in the glossy images of you that he’d had someone take on your route to work. The file contained everything about you. From your date of birth and address, to your national security number. “Excellent,” Bruce smiled. “I will have Jeeves drive me to…” he pulled out a map that highlighted the route you took from home to work. “…Cocoa Coffee.”

“I believe she finishes at eighteen hundred hours, sir.” Gemma piped in. Bruce checked the time on his wrist watch and cursed under his breath before standing up and grabbing his coat.

“I best be on my way then.”

A lot had happened since the days you spent living in the Lord family guest house. You were now, a lot older – a young adult with ambition, but stuck working as a part-time barista in one of Gotham’s favourite coffee shops, Cocoa Coffee. You and your mother had returned to Gotham four years after moving to DC; and looking back, your time spent with the Lord family had been tainted by the day you were forced to leave.

♡

Every day was the same. You would come home from school and throw your bag on the sofa before changing into your play shoes and heading out to the gardens to see Maxwell. For him, it was similar. At 4PM sharp, he would drop whatever he was doing to come see you. His mother hated you, that much was obvious. Naomi Lord constantly scolded her son for playing with you. “The Lord family do not associate with people like that,” she would tell Maxwell. But he didn’t care. He was your best friend and you were his only friend. He went from wanting to be a successful businessman like his father, to wanting to be as free-spirited and happy as you. You inspired him and made him feel like a better person.

On the evening of Maxwell’s sixteenth birthday, you had something special planned. You wanted to lay with him in the gardens and show him the beauty of star gazing while you stuffed your faces with cake and told each other the craziest imaginative stories. At 4PM sharp, no different to usual, you slung your bag down on the sofa and slid your feet into your play shoes, and just as you were about to leave the guest house, your mother extended her arm across the front door, stopping you in your tracks.

“Sweetheart,” your mother said sadly. “Maxwell can’t play with you today.” You looked up at your mother, doe-eyed and confused. Your mother had never stopped you from playing with Maxwell. Before you could question her, she opened her mouth again. “I’ve lost my job.”

Your jaw dropped. “You- what- mom… what happened?”

Your mom shook her head, avoiding eye contact. “I’ve packed all your things. We need to leave right now.”

If you’re mother wasn’t prepared to tell you why she had been fired, the least she could do was allow you to see your best friend once more on his sixteenth birthday. “At least let me say goodbye to Max-“

“No you can’t.” Your mother’s voice grew stern. You knew, in that moment, something serious happened. “We are leaving, now.”

“But Max-“

Your mother raised her voice, barking your name angrily, and making you flinch. The tension in the room could be cut with a knife. “Something awful has happened, and Maxwell… I just know the poor boy will have a lot on his plate right now. More than anyone could ever imagine. You and I… we might not have much, but we’re lucky.” Your mother’s tone of voice softened. She was clearly sad. But you became increasingly frustrated at her secrecy and not allowing you to say a final farewell to your best friend.

The sky fell dark fast, and as you left the guest house with your bags and walked down the drive way, Lord Manor was busier than you had ever seen before. An ambulance, police cars, vans from not only local news stations, but national news stations too. Flashing lights blinding you from the paparazzi cameras. Your mother dragged you into the shadows, ensuring the press didn’t see you both leave. You couldn’t help but stare, and walked on your tip-toes, trying to look over the heads and see what was going on.

There, standing outside the front door of Lord Manor was Naomi Lord and her sixteen year old son, Maxwell. Naomi was sobbing into a silk handkerchief, her hair no longer in perfect curls and her makeup smudged with tears. Standing forward slightly, all suited up, was Maxwell Lord IV. On his sixteenth birthday.

You knew this would be the last time you saw your best friend; but you wished you hadn’t seen him at all. All colour was drained out of his skin and he stood there, frozen. You whispered his name to yourself as your mother dragged you to the gates, and you felt tears brim your eyes. You didn’t want to leave him. Not without a goodbye. Maxwell looked sick. Despite dressed in one of his best designer suits, hair perfectly styled – he looked ghostly. The closer you got to the gate, the more you heard paparazzi endeavour him with questions. But it was so loud and overwhelming you could barely make out what they were saying. Gone, was the happy smiley boy you played with in the gardens. It may have been Maxwell’s sixteenth birthday, but that day marked the end of his youth. No more time for games.

♡

“Life is good, but it can be better… I���m Maxwell Lord and for a low monthly fee…” Hearing his name snapped you out of your daydreams. You looked over at the small television in the corner of the staff room, your co-worker, Theresa, smacking it with her hands in frustration.

“Remote not working again?” You sighed, putting a hand on your hip and watching her struggle to change the channel. You couldn’t help but smile as she let out an exasperated groan.

“Welcome to Black Gold Cooperative! The world’s first oil company run for the people, by the people. You can own a piece of the most lucrative industry in the world. And every time we strike gold, you strike gold.” You felt your lips twist in disgust at how artificial your childhood friend was sounding. You couldn’t even bare to look at him. His face was everywhere.

“Every time we strike gold, you strike gold,” you badly mimicked his iconic line. It was the company slogan. Rolling your eyes, you walked out of the staff room and to the front-of-house. You heard Theresa throw the remote in frustration and suddenly, Maxwell Lord shut up. You smiled as Theresa followed you behind the bar. At least she had managed to turn the television off.

“You really don’t like him, do you?” Theresa asked almost rhetorically. It was true, you didn’t like Maxwell Lord. Simply because he wasn’t the little boy you played with in the gardens of Lord Manor. You knew you shouldn’t have held resentment. Everyone changes as they get older – but Maxwell Lord was just so easy to hate. Max’s carefree spirit died the day you left, and the smarmy salesman Maxwell Lord IV was not someone you cared for. For months after you moved back to Gotham, you waited for some kind of communication from Max. But nothing. And it became clear that Maxwell was happy enough to throw away the four year friendship you had shared together. Your silence prompted Theresa to continue. “He’s handsome though, in a way.” You spluttered at her sudden confession and Theresa just laughed. “Rich…powerful…” she went on.

“He’s an asshole.” You stated, as blunt as ever.

“You know him?” Theresa quizzed. “Hmm?”

“No but-“ You stopped yourself. “I know enough about him.”

“His fiancée is a lucky gal,” Theresa sighed, and you found yourself completely taken aback.

“Wait. Fiancée?” There was no way.

“Do you even read People Magazine?” Theresa scoffed, shaking her head as if this was common knowledge. You spent every living day trying to avoid Maxwell Lord after the way he and his family had hurt you and your mother. But of course, his presence followed you everywhere. Whether it be his enormous head hanging over the highway on bulletin boards or his infomercials that were broadcasted on every channel, at the same time, every evening.

“You got this information from a tabloid?” You rolled your eyes.

“Why do you find it so hard to believe that Maxwell Lord has a fiancée?” Theresa made a point. Sure, Maxwell Lord was charming… but in a cold, sick and twisted kind of way.

You took a deep breath. “I don’t it’s just-“

“Oh shoot, look at the time! I gotta pick the kids up from school. They’re at an arts club, you see. Would you mind tidying and closing the shop tonight?” Theresa gasped, although it wasn’t as much a question as it was a statement. She thrusted a sweeping brush into your arms and in a frenzy, was out of the coffee shop within a minute.

It was the hottest summer you could ever remember. Golden rays of sunlight beamed through the large windows, the heat making your hair stick to your forehead as you puffed your cheeks out. Tiredly, you loosened the ribbon that was holding together your apron and continued to sweep the floor and wipe down the tables. It had been a long day, but the end of the month meant you were getting your pay check. Just as you were about to close-up Cocoa Coffee, you heard the bell jingle as the front door opened.

“Oh I’m sorry we’re clo-“ you said before stopping and taking in the sight that was Bruce Wayne. If Theresa was still here, she would’ve lost her mind. Not quite Maxwell Lord, but another rich businessman; seemingly, just her type. The CEO of Wayne Enterprises. He was a black silhouette, standing in front of the setting sun, but despite being hidden by a casted shadow, you could recognise him anywhere. During your time at Lord Manor, you had grown up hearing a lot about the Wayne family. You froze, staring at him with anti-bacterial spray in one hand and a cloth in the other. Bruce took a step forward, grinning at you. “Mr- Mr Wayne…” you found yourself stumbling over your words. “How may I help you?”

“I’ve been watching you for some time now,” Bruce said darkly, breaking any distance between you both. You looked up at the businessman feeling somewhat intimidated. “You’re the girl who has been making my lattes every day for two years.” Like the flick of a light switch, his tone of voice changed to be more cheery, but you were still taken off-guard.

“I- I have? I’ve never seen you before.” You replied, bewilderment dripping from your tongue. Sure, you had seen Bruce Wayne make headlines but you had never seen him in real life before. “I mean. I’ve seen you. On uh, Forbes right? Front page?”

“Not this year,” Bruce sighed, and removed his sunglasses. “Some other scam artist took my place.” Immediately you felt a sense of dread, and you hoped you hadn’t done anything to piss him off. Bruce turned around and pointed to a black car with tinted windows, parked outside of the coffee shop.

“I’m sorry.” You bit your lip awkwardly. Bruce just shook his head, a light chuckle escaping his lips as he went to continue on his opening statement.

“I sit in the front seat while my assistant grabs my coffee,” Bruce explained, still pointing at the car outside, and you breathed out a little ‘ah’ whilst nodding somewhat understandably. You did not want to get on Bruce Wayne’s bad side, that’s for sure. “And I must admit, not a day has gone by where I haven’t been mesmerised by your beauty.” You felt your cheeks flush with heat at his compliment. You couldn’t help but remain silent, thus prompting Bruce to continue. “See, I’m actually a shy guy,” Bruce said, but his charm and fluency made you feel as though he wasn’t entirely being truthful. There was no way you could question the multi-billionaire. “And after a lot of persuasion from my assistant… well, I’m here to ask you out.”

You blinked, completely taken aback. You were just about to end your shift playing barista for the day when the Bruce Wayne had come into Cocoa Coffee saying all these nice things. No matter how hard you tried, you just couldn’t make sense of it all. Had he gotten the right person? He recognised you, so he really must be wanting you. So many thoughts raced through your head. Something felt off immediately, but you knew you could never deny Bruce Wayne a date. “I- uhm-“ you stumbled on your words and found Bruce looking nervous, awaiting your response. “Okay.” you accepted his proposal, and his worried frown turned into a beaming smile.

“Great!” He cheered. “I will have someone pick you up on Sunday afternoon. Don’t worry, I know where you live.”

Brushing past his comment about knowing your address, you raised a finger. “Uhm, where will we be going?”

“DC.” Those two letters made your heart sink into your chest. It had been years since you had last step foot in DC and you didn’t exactly associate the capital city with the fondest of memories. “I have business there. That’s not an issue, is it?”

Was it?

“No, of course not Mr Way- I mean Bruce.”

“Great, I will see you Sunday. Dress formal. I know the most amazing restaurant we can go to. They do the best martinis.”

♡

Maxwell Lord IV zipped up his pants and sunk into his office chair, regaining his breath. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and fixed his hair the best he could, before looking down at his secretary who was still on her hands and knees under his desk, looking up at him, waiting for his next instruction. Maxwell simply opened his desk drawer and threw her a silk cloth to wipe away the mess he had painted her face with. “Same time tomorrow.” He said, not even bothering to make eye contact with her. “Wear that same lipstick too.”

“Yes sir.” She replied, shakily standing up.

“You are free to leave now,” Maxwell told his secretary. “What do you say?”

“Th-thank you sir.”

His secretary scurried out of his office and once more, Maxwell was alone. He spun around in his chair and looked at the framed magazine cover, hanging on the wall behind him. There he was. He had made it to the front page of Forbes. Richest man in the world. He was loved. He was feared. He was Maxwell Lord IV.

♡♡♡ TAGLIST ♡♡♡

@mrschiltoncat​

[imagitory]

D-Views: Muppet Treasure Island

Hi, everyone! Welcome to another installment of D-Views, my on-going written review series for films that fall under the Disney umbrella, as well as those that were influenced by those films! For more reviews for movies like Mary Poppins, Treasure Planet, and The Prince of Egypt, please consult my “Disney Reviews” tag and, of course, if you enjoy this review or any of the others, please consider liking and reblogging!

Today’s film is one of my childhood favorites, starring a cast of some of my favorite people, as well as frogs, pigs, and even whatevers. This is Muppet Treasure Island! (Thank you for your votes, @the-alexandrian-alchemist, @silvvergears, @extremelybears​, @livinlifelikeishould​ and @karalora​!)

Ever since 1976, the characters of the Muppet Show have been American pop culture icons. The show itself won a total of 21 Emmy nominations and four television awards over its long run, and by 1990 its cast had also starred in several critically acclaimed films (The Muppet Movie, The Great Muppet Caper, and The Muppets Take Manhattan) and the very popular animated TV show Muppet Babies. And all of that wouldn’t have been possible without the Muppets’ creator, Jim Henson.

Like at the Walt Disney Company, the loss of their leader in 1990 hit Jim Henson Productions very hard. One silver lining, however, is that just like with Walt Disney, Jim Henson was memorialized not just by the characters he created, but by his many achievements and the many friendships he’d made in life. He received a Star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame alongside Kermit the Frog; was inducted into the Television Hall of Fame; earned a memorial in his hometown Hyattsville, Maryland; was posthumously named a Disney Legend; was the focus of the heartfelt TV special The Muppets Celebrate Jim Henson; and was laid to rest with two formal funeral services complete with performances of some of his favorite songs. And just like the Walt Disney Company, even after the death of someone who meant so much to them, Jim Henson Productions got back up and promised to do more in the memory of their lost leader. Jim’s son Brian Henson took the reins and directed the Disney-co-produced Christmas movie The Muppet Christmas Carol in 1992, before he moved on to their next project and today’s subject, Muppet Treasure Island.

So, here’s the thing -- I have a LOT of nostalgia for this movie. I will be upfront about that. But even with that acknowledged, I was sort of stunned when I found out how lukewarm the reaction to this movie was, when it was released in theaters. Sure, I knew it hadn’t broken the bank, but even if it earned about $34 million worldwide, it received no honors or awards, only hit third at the box office opening weekend behind the movies Broken Arrow and Happy Gilmore, and even now only boasts an average 73% rating at Rotten Tomatoes. Critics at the time criticized how it was more “Treasure Island” than “Muppet”, with Roger Ebert calling it “less cleverly written” and Gene Siskel even more coldly deeming it “boring.” Although I’ll readily acknowledge that reading those reactions makes me want to run outside and scream “FUCK YOU, GENE SISKEL” at the top of my lungs, I promise to give a more rational review of this movie instead, one hopefully that acknowledges any possible shortcomings, but also will celebrate this film and how completely NOT boring it is.

One of the best things about this movie hits us in the face right off the bat -- the music, written by scoring giant Hans Zimmer and Nick Glennie-Smith. As much as I enjoy a lot of Muppet musicals, I attest that Muppet Treasure Island has the most cohesive score overall of any Muppet production. The Muppets were always creatures of the short, sweet vignette -- of the variety show -- of many disparate pieces sewn loosely together into a whole like a patchwork quilt. Even though The Muppet Christmas Carol’s soundtrack comes very close in its cohesion and I would say The Muppets (2011) -- my personal favorite Muppet movie -- is truer to the spirit of the Muppet Show in its music while also paying tribute to old-fashioned movie musicals, Muppet Treasure Island just paints a full-bodied picture from the off-set, building on refrains that return and morph over the course of the picture. From the very beginning, we get that this venture is NOT a standard Muppet movie. Like The Muppet Christmas Carol, the Muppets’ humor will only be part of the story told -- in TMCC, it takes a backseat to sincere emotions like love and redemption, while here in MTI, it takes a backseat to adventure and swashbuckling action.

The score also seamlessly flows into our first song, “Shiver My Timbers,” which just screams “pirate!” I’ve loved pirates ever since I was a little kid, and Muppet Treasure Island was one of the main reasons why. I was okay with Peter Pan, but Muppet Treasure Island was what really got me excited about pirates. They were rough, ruthless, and dangerous, but it was exciting to face off against them in an epic musical adventure, even if your only weapons were a couple of artfully thrown starfish. In the 90′s, pirate films weren’t really “in” -- it wouldn’t be until 2003 with the release of Pirates of the Caribbean that they became popular again -- but I think Muppet Treasure Island, through its music, really embraces the fun, action-packed thrills that Disney would later capitalize on in the Pirates films.

After our prologue, we meet Billy Bones (played by the perfectly cast Billy Connolly) and, of course, our hero, Jim Hawkins, played by newcomer Kevin Bishop. Kevin was the very first of a hundred kids who showed up for the audition to meet the casting agents, and he was selected for the part then and there. Sadly post-Muppets he moved on to stage and television, but for what it’s worth, I quite like Kevin in the role of Jim. He’s distinctly depicted as a boy, complete with a pre-puberty “boy soprano” singing voice (which I acknowledge is an acquired taste, but I personally enjoy), but that characterization only serves to accent how large of an arc he goes through over the course of the film. He starts off as smart, sincere, honest, and dreamy, but also very innocent and trusting, and over the course of the story, he learns to ground himself in who he is and what he believes in, to the point where he has to sever ties with someone he once considered a friend and mentor. Accompanying Jim in his journey are Gonzo and Rizzo, who largely serve as comic relief but do still serve as good friends and companions to Jim, as evident by the three characters’ “I Want” song, “Something Better.” Yes, Gonzo and Rizzo are sidekicks, but they’re still distinct personalities that bounce well off each other and “straight-man” Jim. Originally the filmmakers had considered simply having Gonzo and Rizzo being two characters called “Jim” and “Hawkins” respectively (splitting the part in two, not unlike what they did with Statler and Waldorf in The Muppet Christmas Carol), but due to concerns that the choice would result in a lack of heart in the finished product, that idea was scrapped. I think it ultimately was the better decision to leave the drama to the humans -- it’s not that the Muppets can’t conjure sincere emotion (just look at “Pictures in my Head” or “Man or Muppet”), but I still think having any of the existing Muppets fulfill the “coming of age” narrative the original Jim Hawkins goes through would’ve been a bit of a stretch. Even in The Muppet Christmas Carol or non-Muppet-show Jim Henson production Labyrinth, the main characters with a story arc are played by human actors who are able to ground the picture despite the cast of colorful, irreverent characters.

One of the main criticisms that critics of the time lobbed at this movie is that it feels more “Treasure Island” than “Muppet”, and in a way it’s a decent point, if not phrased very badly. Unlike in other Muppet projects, the humor plays second fiddle to the plot and the characters are not the characters we know from the Muppet Show with their Muppet Show backstories and consciousness. In The Muppet Christmas Carol, the film could very easily be seen as a “production” being put on by the Muppets, even if it’s never overtly stated as such, thanks to Gonzo (as Charles Dickens) constantly breaking the fourth wall. In Muppet Treasure Island, however, Gonzo and Rizzo have their own non-Muppet-show history as friends of Jim Hawkins way before ever meeting the other Muppets like Kermit and Sam the Eagle, and Kermit and Miss Piggy have a whole soap-opera romance that involves a wedding and getting marooned by pirates (we’ll get to that later). So yes, this is more “Treasure Island,” but it’s not less “Muppet” -- it’s less “Muppet Show.” These Muppets have different histories, but they’re the same characters despite this. Gonzo is an eccentric thrill-seeker -- Rizzo is a cowardly cynic -- Kermit is a soft-spoken pacifist -- Fozzie is a lovable dimwit -- Piggy is a self-centered diva. Think of Muppet Treasure Island as a Muppet AU fanfiction -- these may not be exactly the characters you know, and yet...they are! They’re the exact same big personalities with the same quirks, strengths, and weaknesses, just in an alternate universe. And honestly, I think it’s really cool, to see these sorts of characters so exclusively used for comedy in a world that’s not flat-out comedic -- one that’s kind of dirty and rough around the edges, with swashbuckling action and real danger around every corner.

The nice thing is that although yes, the comedy isn’t the central focus anymore, there is still really good humor in this film, a lot of it thanks to the shift in tone. There’s just something so very, very funny to me about Billy Bones’s death scene being followed up by Rizzo, Gonzo, and Jim just flat-out freaking out and dashing out of the room screaming like stupid kids, or the tense action scene where the pirates storm into the inn being punctuated by Rizzo trying to help Gonzo load the gun, only to spill the bag of bullets, or the epic entrance of the illustrious Captain Smollett’s carriage ending with the tall, solemn coachman stepping aside to reveal the Captain himself, played by Kermit the Frog. I think it plays into the ideas of subverting expectations and building up a punchline properly before delivering the joke -- as each scene is built up, we’re left constantly unsure if the film’s going to play things straight or just be completely irreverent, and the contrast is what can make a joke much funnier than in a purely, solely humorous scenario. There are a few points where the contrast can become a bit labored, but I laugh so much more during this movie that I ever have watching my favorite reruns of the Muppet Show, no matter how much I enjoy them. It’s something that, again, the Pirates of the Caribbean films would capitalize on much later. (Too bad they couldn’t incorporate that humor into any catchy musical numbers! Disney, where’s my Pirates of the Caribbean musical?)

Aha, and now we come to the brightest of the shining stars in this film -- our villain, Long John Silver, played by the amazing Tim Curry. I’m sorry, it’s an incontrovertible truth that Curry is a unique, magical ingredient that, when added to any movie, just elevates the cinematic dish to a whole new level and leaves you drooling for one more scene with him. I remember someone once saying that Curry is sort of like a Muppet in human skin thanks to his outrageous, yet likable acting, and...yeah, it makes it so that he fits perfectly in this movie, where he has to interact so closely with the Muppets. The nice thing is, though, that he also has a lot of chemistry with his human co-star Kevin Bishop, to the extent that you sincerely feel for the relationship that forms between Jim and Silver even if you know Silver’s intentions from the start. I particularly like their exchange in the ridiculously catchy “Sailing for Adventure,” as well as their scene at the front of the ship where they discuss their fathers and the stars.

Just as the adventure is getting going, however, it stops dead with the wind’s abandonment of the Hispaniola. Out of nowhere, the ship breaks out into the most ridiculous, most “Muppet” of all of the musical numbers, “Cabin Fever.” The song was one of my favorite parts when I was little and it’s always made me laugh, but it’s definitely the biggest detour of the movie that up until that point lived in its own pirate-centric world. It’s a very short-lived detour and as I said, it’s ridiculously funny, but it doesn’t have any bearing on the plot and I could see how people might find it kind of pointless, particularly since it doesn’t even feature three of our main characters, Jim, Silver, or Smollett. One other critique I will give the film is that some of the effects nowadays don’t look very real, like the Hispaniola being composited over still matte paintings -- there are points where the production values remind me a bit of the old Wishbone TV series, where they have to angle the shot just so or get creative just to try to make the ship look as big as it should be. But honestly, there were points where Wishbone impressed me with those same sorts of layering and green-screen effects despite its limited budget, and those cheaper effects don’t look tacky or out-of-place, so I personally don’t mind them that much.

Because this is a Muppet movie, it’s unsurprising that our Mr. Arrow (played by Sam the Eagle) isn’t really killed, instead just being tricked off of the ship by a manipulative Silver, but it says something that, even with that softened plot turn, the stakes are not completely dismantled. We still see the pirates as a legitimate threat when they kidnap Jim and take over the Hispaniola, even when they burst into song. Tim Curry’s “only number,” “A Professional Pirate,” is a perfect expression of his expert, charming showmanship, which in my mind truly can’t be matched by any other performer in Hollywood, past or present. No one gives a performance like Tim Curry. It makes it so that even when I was a bratty kid getting irritated about Silver calling privateer Sir Francis Drake a pirate and using “buccaneer” as a synonym for “pirate,” I would sing this song at the top of my lungs, trying to even reach 75% of the energy Curry put into his vocals.

At long last, Miss Piggy makes her grand debut as “Queen Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal,” a.k.a. Benjamina Gunn. Although the diva doesn’t end up getting much screentime, she certainly gets a grand entrance, complete with an elephant steed decorated with flowers and a full musical number complete with a tribal chant and ethereal vocalizing. And true to form, when she lays eyes on her one true love, Kermit...she smacks him so hard that he’s thrown backwards off his feet and into a gong. What’s particularly interesting about Piggy in this movie is that although she and Fozzie are voiced by Frank Oz as always, both she and Fozzie were actually puppeted by Kevin Clash, as Oz was unavailable during this film’s production, and Oz’s vocals for both characters were added in post-production. Despite the difference in puppeteer, however, both characters are just as likable as ever -- I’d honestly had no clue that they weren’t performed by the same person! The film even got to use the full-bodied remote-controlled puppets for Kermit and Piggy for the love duet “Love Led Us Here,” which is kicked off by an Evita joke I never got as a kid but as an adult makes me grin like a friggin’ idiot. Fortunately the duet is inter-cut with Silver and the pirates finding the treasure, rather than it being chock-full of romantic flashbacks or prolonged looks between the two lovebirds, giving it a lighter tone than it would’ve had otherwise.

With a much reduced crew comprised only of Rizzo, Gonzo, Squire Trelawney, Dr. Honeydew, Beaker, and the newly returned Mr. Arrow, Jim comes to Benjamina and Smollett’s rescue and returns to Treasure Island to face Silver and the pirates. The action scene is full of humor, but because of the world established in the rest of the film, I would argue it still has stakes. The blows still hurt and there’s still a threat of defeat and danger, most notably when Long John Silver prepares to fight. Even if you don’t think the Muppets are going to die persay, you still feel the suspense in wanting to see what’s going to happen next. And when Silver surrenders, he himself can see the real treasure Jim found on his adventure -- a family...a group of people Muppets who will support him and encourage the very best in him.

Silver’s escape scene is a beautifully heart-wrenching scene -- one that could only have been earned by two excellent performances over the course of the film by Kevin Bishop and Tim Curry. Even though both Silver and Jim know that they’re different people and they could never walk the same path, it doesn’t mean that they don’t still greatly esteem and care about each other. In Jim’s case, it’s especially difficult, given that in parting ways with Silver, he has to cut loose of a very poor potential father figure who would’ve only dragged him down in the long run, but who was so likable in his own damaged way. It proves to be a very bittersweet scene sprinkled into a very happy, cheerful ending, complete with the chipper island-inspired end credits bop “Love Power.”

Muppet Treasure Island is -- in my opinion, at least -- one of the best Muppet movies ever made. It broke away from quite a few Muppet conventions, like the characters breaking the fourth wall and being aware of themselves being in a movie or TV show, and embraced a much less humorous tone in both its writing and cinematography. Yes, it reimagined a classic book like The Muppet Christmas Carol did, but this movie took the next step, embracing the world of the original novel as well as the set-up and immersing the Muppets’ cast of characters in it. Although I can see why some people would be more partial to the original Muppet movie formula and love it a lot myself, I really, really respect Brian Henson and the rest of this film’s crew for taking the Muppets in such a different direction. It was an entertaining, action-packed, funny pirate movie before those sorts of movies became popular again, and it remains my favorite “pirate” movie of all time, as well as my personal favorite incarnation of the Treasure Island story (barely beating out Treasure Planet). I know childhood nostalgia can play a role in what media can give you joy as an adult, but I truly don’t think it’s the only factor here -- it’s also just a really good movie, and I can only hope that more people will consider giving it a chance and have just as much fun Sailing for Adventure as I did!

[jaywrites101]

Tag Game: About the Author

I was tagged by @trickster-writes you should give her a look-see if you haven’t already. Thanks =)

Rules of the Game: Answer these questions and tag blogs you’d like to know better.

Nickname: thejay101 was the name I used while gaming online, what little of that I did. Now, on Social Media, I use JayWrites101 as a brand name to unify my different accounts (even though the only two I’m active on is Twitter and Tumblr) Fun Fact: Jay. is my nome de plume or pen-name. There’s a lot of meaning packed into those four characters lol.

Zodiac: Uhhh, Capricorn, I think. I don’t put stock into zodiac signs so I keep forgetting, but I like reading posts about _____ as the signs, so I keep re-looking up what I am. XD

Height: Don’t know. I don’t measure. I’m taller than you’d think but shorter than a lot of people.

Time: rn it’s 11:11 A.M. I think I’m on U.S. Central timezone.

Favorite Band/Artist: Favorite?

Song Stuck In My Head: The Cups song, -- I can’t remember it’s proper name -- but I’m weird so I’ve also got bits of Five Rings, New Divide, Halzy’s Without Me, and the main refrain of Spectacular Spider-man interrupting at “fun” intervals. (Spec-tacularr, Spec-tacularr, Spider-man! Spec-tacularrrrr (repeats))

Last Movie I Saw: Captain Marvel. And before that Shazam. (I watched S first so I wouldn’t be quite as biased towards one or the other.) The JayReviews should be finished on Friday.

Last Thing I Googled: The correct spelling for the word “necessarily.” In my defense, that was four days ago. And I double check words a lot out of paranoia more so than proper misspellings. (I have Grammarly for that.)

Other Blogs: None, but again, I’m on all Social Media platforms except Kick. But again, again... I’m only active on this one and Twitter.

Do I Get Asks: Every once and a while. I love asks, especially about my writings, life, philosophy, or my furry little editors. =D

Why This Username: Well, I started gaming under thejay101 ‘cause Ima school ya’ ;D I’ve always been really good at games, and I’ve always been a bit (read lot) of a braggart. But with the march of the internet, that name got more and more taken by people who were not me. XD 

So I came up with JayWrites101: A Writer on Social Media. It was unique, interesting, slightly more humble and -- most importantly -- not already taken. So I spasmed my fingers across my keyboard as fast as I could to go through each of the Social Media accounts and stake my claim at the accounts before anyone else could. I even made a website under JayWrites101 so no one else can.

This way, It’s a brand name. I’m still trying to grow it. To figure out what I am and what I do, but I’m getting there slowly. =) Right now it’s just my author’s platform, but I’d like to think that someday if I get big enough and have people who share my dreams with me, it’ll grow and become a pillar of the internet.

Following: Only 667. And... Fun... Fact.... <.< I’ve only got 274 followers, but in your defense you guys and gals and everything in between are Awesome!  I love ya all and I like how much interaction we have ^.^

Thank you.

Average Amount of Sleep: 8-10 hours! I’m a long sleeper. If I get any less than that I end up groggy, slow, and it’s all I can do to go about my day on autopilot.

Fun Fact: Once while I was working at DG, I was so overworked and go so little sleep that I spent a whole workday running on autopilot and when I got home I couldn’t remember anything I did that day at work.

Bonus Fact: The day after that was my day off and I spent the entire 24hours asleep!

And my manager still wonders why I quit! <.< Whackadoodle.

Lucky Number: Ten. Let’s see if you can guess why lol XD

What am I wearing: Well, normally it’s a t-shirt and blue jeans, but today I’m being wild so it’s a t-shirt and sweatpants!

Dream Job: Making money as a playboy billionaire who made a tech company when he was six and is still making enough from interest alone to justify him never needing a job as long as he lives, but he continues to go to the office and sign paperwork so he can make even more money, buy a few yachts, tour the globe eight times over in style, and still have enough money to fund a few local social programs like “here, I’m not a dick.”

Just kidding, my dream job is doing everything I’m already doing, just getting paid for it.

Dream Trip: I’d really like to tour Europe, just once. Go to London, travel to France, see Rome, and Athens, go to Barcelona. You grow up hearing about these places and seeing them romanticized through film, but... I want to see them for myself. It’s kinda like wanting to go to Disneyland to see the unpaid actors and find the cracked, seams in the facade. I want to see the reality behind the dream.

And I want to go with friends or family. Or maybe both. I know I don’t want to go alone.

Favorite Food: Chicken Fajitas with either Fried Rice or Nachos and just simply drowning in queso cheese. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: It’s heaven in a plate.

Instruments I Play: Um... I can read sheet music, and I can sing. Roughly that means I can sorta play all instruments badly, but none of them well.

Fun Fact: I took piano lessons as a kid, but stopped.

Bonus Fact: I still compose little tunes to go with my poetry.

Eye Color: Blue

Hair Color: Dark Brown

Aesthetic: Combat boots and a long brown overcoat, a wisard’s staff in one hand, and a short sword in the other, a broadsword across my back and a mischevious grin on my face.

I don’t know if this is an aesthetic like your looking for, but it’s how I see myself.

Languages I speak: I badly speak English, I can read and write in Spanish, and sorta hold a conversation. (Hearing words pronounced is a challenge) I can bluff my way through Japanese (A few very important words) and various bits and tidbits across all the Latin languages that come from studying etymology. 

Most Iconic Song: If it’s theme songs you’re looking for that would be Centuries, by Fallout Boy. But if we’re talking about songs that are iconically me to me, that would be Fairly Local, by Twenty-one pilots.

Random Fact: There’s no such thing as fire or lighting. 

What we see as fire is actually a low-level plasma that’s formed from the air superheating into the fourth state of matter due to an exothermic reaction. (A chemical reaction that releases heat energy and carbon stored within the wood.)

And what we call lightning is the same phenomenon caused at a much higher intensity as invisible electricity moves through the air. The sheer friction of electricity passing electrons through the air causes the air molecules to superheat and change states into plasma. Basically, electricity is burning the air as it moves from one point to the other.

Tagging: @currentlynotreading, I have to know what your answers are lol. @bexminx @blueinkblot @pens-swords-stuff @kiramartinauthor @odd-dog @ciestess @ednaraged @thatoneaceinthecorner @siarven @prettydoddleoddle and @soul-write

I think you’re supposed to tag twenty, but you’re all my most active followers. =)

[smiley-stark]

A Slippery Situation

Sebastian Stan One Shot

a/n: this is one of the many things I’ve been working on this past week. BIG thanks to @theliteratureloser for this idea! I’ve only got one request left to work on, so please feel free to send in ANY request! I can definitely try anything. Thank youuu xoxo.

warnings: some language probably, fluff fluff fluff, lube, inappropriate jokes, this is all pretty pg tbh. enjoy! *not my gif*

Loose gravel crackled under tires as you pulled slowly into your reserved parking spot at the studio, nerves gushing for your first real day shooting.

 'I’m thinking about doing a look like this? With your prosthetic skills, I could pull it off.' 

A bright message appeared on your screen and you almost snorted from laughing at the attached photo. Him wearing one of the stunt doubles' wigs. Sebastian had always been such a joker. Though you had only known him for a matter of months, you were absolutely infatuated. 

Being an SFX/makeup artist and designer definitely had its perks. Working on movies was one of those perks.

 "Not sure I’m skilled enough to make that look good!"

 Your mind wandered back to the first few times you met Sebastian as you typed back your response. You were assigned to take on Marvel's newest hit, a Captain America movie. You were given the privilege of meeting all of the actors and actresses that had specific suit. Sadly, you also had the burden of creating said suits. The costume for Bucky was extremely difficult. You had to incorporate the iconic bionic arm, which would definitely be a challenge.

Luckily, after four months of varying measurements, long nights, and pure determination, you had completed the ever so important appendage. You popped the trunk of your car and grabbed a suitcase full of makeup and supplies, setting it on the asphalt next to you. Reaching back in (much more carefully) you pulled out the piece de resistance, a box containing the metal arm.

You approached the door, struggling with your many bags, but managed to pull it open and head inside. Scarlett was already sat in her hair and makeup station, hair being fluffed by your good friend Tonio. You reached around and tapped her shoulder. When she opened her eyes and saw who it was she practically squeaked. "(Y/n)! Ahh! How are you! It's been like two weeks?!" She pulled you into a quick hug. 

"Hey Scar! I'm alright, how about yourself?" You asked, pulling out from the embrace to examine her face. 

 "Excited! I'm sure you are, too. Lots of fight scenes to film today. Lots of fake blood to use!" You chuckled, knowing you'd be using a lot more than fake blood.

 "Anthony Mackie! The man himself!" You joked, spreading your arms out and welcoming your dear friend with a hug as he entered the room. 

 "(Y/n)! Darling!" He laughed, being extra as always. The two of you made small talk about his new costume until you hear an uncomfortable scuffle from behind you. Turning, you had to cover your mouth to avoid laughing. 

 "Sebastian?! What are you doing?" The man was trying to walk without bending his legs and was looking extremely hilarious while doing so.

 "Hey! You made this thing! I can hardly walk." he said, a slight pout lacing his voice. 

"Hey! You should be happy! I tailored it to make your butt look good!" You joked, gesturing to the tight pants he was stuffed in. 

 "Yeah, yeah! Whatever." He laughed back, sitting stiffly in his chair. "Just come make me pretty." 

 "Oh, Bas, you're already so pretty!" You laughed, pulling out a kit of makeup.

"Thanks, sweetheart" he rolled his eyes at your sarcasm. 

 "I swear! The two of you talk like an old married couple." Anthony piped up from where he was reading his lines. For a few minutes you went back and forth between Sebastian and Scarlett, trying to hurry and finish their makeup. Normally you wouldn't rush things like this, but you had no idea how long it would take to get the arm on, and judging from the tightness of the suit, you assumed it would take a while. Finally, you completed the makeup and both of them were perfectly airbrushed. Looking in the mirror, Scarlett thanked you and headed off with Anthony to start the day, leaving Sebastian behind. 

"Let's see my baby" he smiled and shifted in his seat from anticipation. You brought the box to him and sat it in his lap. Slowly, you lifted the lid and revealed the shiny new piece of armor. 

 "Holy shit..." he seemed blown away by your work. To be fair, you did a pretty damn good job. He looked from the arm to you repeatedly, shaking his head in disbelief. 

"It's pretty simple, actually. Three parts. Bicep, forearm, and hand." You explained, pointing to each section. "First, we'll slide on the bicep, add the forearm, and work on the glove. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy!" He laughed at your childish remark but went along with it. 

"Alright. Let's up my badassery and get this thing on." You sucked a breath in through your teeth and scratched the back of your neck. 

“Wait a second... what?” He narrowed his eyes at you, crossing his arms and furrowing his brows. You turned around and grabbed the two small bottles from your makeup bag, hiding them behind your back.

“Before we get to putting it on, I have a question.” You asked, batting your eyes in fake innocence.

“Oh my God what’d you do?” He asked, suspicion lacing his voice as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Will you just hush up and answer my question?” You joked, cocking a brow. He heaved a sigh and shrugged.

“Well,” You began, pulling the bottles out from behind you, “Do you want warming or flavored?”

He froze. Staring at the bottles and then to you, questioning what the bottles were meant for with his eyes, implying what he wanted to use them for with his smirk.

“For your arm, you dirty man!” You laughed, doubling over when you saw a look of shock wash over his face.

“Well, uh.. in that case, let’s try flavored. What flavor did you pick up?” He asked, wiping his hands on his knees.

“Vanilla.” You chuckled, shaking the bottle in front of his face.

“Sounds like the kind of sex Robert has.” He quipped, causing you to snort. 

wait. had you just..... had you really just snorted in front of him. like full on?? fuck fuck fuck

“Your laugh is so cute!” He chuckled, joining you in laughter at his own joke. Relief washed over you and you decided to get to work on putting on the arm.

“Alright, Bas. Just be still. I’ll try to make it quick.” You assured, trying to stifle your giggles at how wrong your words sounded. You slathered a layer of the vanilla lube along his arm, cringing a little at the slip it left on your hands. You turned and picked up the bicep of the arm, attempting to slide it on.

nope

“We’re gonna need more.” You sighed, dousing his arm a second time. Finally, the bicep started to move up his arm and he cringed visibly at the feeling.

“I’m so sorry, Bas. Did they change up your workout regimen again? I don’t see why this isn’t going on easier.” You felt really bad. Maybe it was a mistake on your part? There was no way. You had followed each of his measurements perfectly, making sure he had room to move around with the arm on.

“Yeah, they said they would email you about it? I’m guessing they didn’t.” He heaved another sigh, sending you an apologetic glance.

“It’s okay! We’ve got plenty of lube and lots of stamina!” You encouraged, trying to stay positive.

“Well, what in the name of God is going on in here?!” Anthony almost shrieked, entering the room from a side door with his hands over his eyes.

“Oh my God! Anthony! No, no, no, it’s not what you think. Will you call Tonio in here? I need your help getting this arm on.” You pleaded, trying to pull his hands off of his eyes but failing due to the slippery substance on your hands.

“You’re slimy! What have you two been up to?!” Anthony burst into laughter at the scene playing out before him. “Oh. My. God. Sebastia- Oh my God! I’ll be right back” He left the room in a fit of laughter, hunching over and clutching his stomach.

When he returned, Tonio trailed behind him completely clueless. The look on his face was priceless when he saw Sebastian’s glistening arm.

“Guys, I’m sorry to ask this of you, but I need help getting this arm on.” You sighed, giving them the best puppy dog eyes you could muster.

“Alright, fine But if I ever catch the two of you using this lube for something else, I swear I’ll beat you both!” Tonio warned, reaching over and pouring more of the substance onto Sebastian’s arm. 

“I am so, so sorry Seabass.” Anthony laughed, placing his hands on the metal. “On my count of three, we slide it up, okay?” He asked, looking around at the three of you. 

After a LOT of elbow grease (ha ha) and determination (and lube), the arm was on and fully functional. Sebastian stood and examined it in the mirror, clearly admiring your attention to detail as the other men left. You called out a quick ‘thank you’ before grabbing a towel to wipe off the excess currently dripping from Sebastian’s arm.

“Again, I’m really sorry. I tried my best.” You muttered, refusing to meet his gaze.

His fingers brushed gently under your chin, politely pulling your eyes to his. “Hey, it’s amazing. Just like you... I- I have to go now. Thank you” He muttered the last words, but you could’ve sworn that he glanced at your lips once or twice.

For the next few weeks you, Tonio, and Anthony used countless bottles of slip on Sebastian. Every day you sat and laughed at his visible discomfort until the final day of shooting rolled around.

“Hey princess, ready?” He asked, walking behind you and placing a hand gently on the small of your back. You had gotten used to this. These soft touches. Gentle reminders of how badly you wanted to envelope him in hugs and shower him with kisses. 

Keep it professional, (Y/n). You reminded yourself.

You turned, grabbing another bottle from your makeup bag and heaved a sigh. “Ready if you are.”

He sat in his designated chair, throwing a wink at you from across the room. You joined him and started applying the product, this had become second nature. 

“I’ll grab Tonio and Anthony” You laughed, turning away from him. Before you could take a step, you felt a slippery hand touch your wrist.

“Wait, (Y/n), can we talk?” His eyes were full of worry, making your heart sink into your stomach immediately.

“Yeah? What’s wrong, Bas?” You asked, lovingly tucking a strand of his soft hair behind his ear.

“Listen, I don’t want to fade away after today.” He confessed, refusing to look at you.

“What?” You responded, completely confused.

“I don’t want this to be the last time we see each other. (Y/n), I don’t know if you haven’t noticed, but I really care about you.” His eyes finally met yours. Normally there was some hint of a smile in them, but not now. He was completely serious as he sat before you, covered in lube, dressed like a supersoldier, confessing his feelings for you. You couldn’t help but giggle at the entire situation.

“I shouldn’t have said that...” He muttered, looking down in embarrassment.

“No! No, I’m so glad you did say that. I just cant help but laugh at your arm. I’m sorry.”

“You’re glad?” He questioned, looking to you with his brows raised. You nodded in response and a look of relief flashed over his features before he grabbed the back of your neck and pulled you into a slow, passionate kiss.

“Maybe next time we need lube it’ll be for something else.” He joked after pulling away.

“What the hell?!” Anthony shrieked from his hiding spot outside of the door, causing you to lean into Sebastian’s chest, cracking up. His chest vibrated with laughter and he brought up his clean hand to stroke your hair.

“Hey, (Y/n)?”

“Yes, Bas?”

“After this we should ditch these losers and grab dinner, sound good?”

You smiled into the warmth radiating from his chest and hummed in agreement. Pushing off of him, you reached over to re-lather his arm, preparing to pull the damned thing on again. Funny how the same thing you spent hours pulling on Sebastian’s arm was the thing that pulled you together.

(and, no, it wasn’t the last time you used lube)

 this post’s tags!

@theliteratureloser @thevanishedillusion 

permanent tags are: open!

-xoxo nic

[awedbyhersplendor-blog]

Since you asked so nicely! Mirandail & #17 “Looks like we’ll be trapped for a while…”

Aha, sorry once again for the drunken prompt requests, I’m terrible! Also I got a little inspired by the prompt apparently… That or I write too much. I just love the entire band of characters being friends and wearing silly Halloween costumes! 

So this is rated G, nothing happens, just Abigail being smitten. I had like, some smuttier ideas but they sounded a little… unrealistic aha. Hope you still enjoy it!

*** 

Abigail didn’t want to hate Halloween, but today she really,really did.

The two beer packs felt heavy and it pulls on her shoulders. Winter was coming and her… clothes werenot totally temperature-appropriate. Or anything-appropriate, really.

She had agreed to go to that Halloween party with Eleanorand her friends because she usually never went to parties and… well, she hadwanted to go to a party and Eleanor had told her this would be a relaxed party.Friends meeting for a few spooky cocktails and maybe a horror movie towardsmidnight. That sounded like fun. Something she could do.

The “only catch”, Eleanor’s words, not hers, was thatcostumes were compulsory. No costumes, no party. Everyone had to beridiculous. Abigail had looked up Halloween costumes online for two minutesbefore declaring that she couldn’t go.

“Eleanor,” she had retorted when her friend had tried topersuade her, “I am not wearing this, I’ll look ridiculous and not in the goodway. Why can’t they have like… costumes that actually cover your body. This isnot I-am-not-cut-like-a-model friendly.”

“You worry too much. Just take one, you can wear tights andwe’ll put some fake blood on it and you’ll be alright. My costume isn’t muchbetter.”

“What are you going out as?”

“The website said ‘sexy ghost catcher,” Eleanor answered, “ButI’ll make a few changes to make it more like ‘ghost catcher that hasaccidentally become a ghost herself” that should do, you know. Look at this one!You’d look great in this one!”

So Abigail went as a sexy Bride of Frankenstein. Except herskirt was so much shorter, and her bandages did nothing to make her feel morecovered. She did have to give credit where credit was due and say that Eleanordid an amazing job teasing her hair into the iconic shape, complete with thewhite streaks.

That really didn’t make the sting of betrayal she had feltwhen she had walked in the flat full of costumed people and got introduced to avery very tall man dressed as Frankenstein’s monster. (He must have found hiscostume on the same website she had because the costume didn’t cover much)

She couldn’t believe Eleanor was still trying to find her aboyfriend after she had formally promised Abigail she’d stop. And she couldn’tbelieve Blood-thirsty mermaid Max who hosted the party had been into theconspiracy as well. She had told them that she had never, ever, been withanyone because she never really felt the urge, the pull of attraction that theyhad been talking about. And when they had fallen over her and showed her a multitudeof pictures of very much not dressed people, she had told them she regretted mentioningit because it made her feel very uncomfortable. And then they had promised theywouldn’t mention it again.

And next thing she knew, she was been greeted by a very verytall man with a sheepish but cute smile who happened to be dressed asFrankenstein’s monster under the smirks of her “friends”.

She knew this was going to be a very long night.

She was sipping a porter in the couch with Anne who had anincredible pirate costume and Jack in an equally incredible Navy uniform,trying to avoid Max and Eleanor, when Silver had thrown himself in the couchnext to her: “Urgh, I have to go do the beer run again, but it’s so cold outthere and the elevator is so slow, and the lights are flickering sometimes andall…”

“Don’t take pity on him Abi,” Jack warned her, “He’s beentrying to get a good soul to do all his work for him since he arrived.”

“What are you even supposed to be?” Anne asked him, passinghim the joint all the same.

“I’m the bride of Dracula, duh,” Silver answered, chuckling,gesturing to his corset and torn dress pants. He did have two bloody puncturewounds on his neck and fake blood trailing over his pierced nipples.

At this moment, Charles Vane entered the room as a zombiepirate. It was mostly him being bare-chested with a fake plastic ribcage aroundhim, pirate boots and tight leather pants with a… skull and crossed bones onthe back.

If he saw her, he would end up telling Eleanor where shewas. And Eleanor would come with the very nice Frankenstein monster and thiswould be all very very awkward.

“I’ll go,” she announced suddenly, “I’ll go on the beer run.”

“Really? You save my life!”

“Sure, just tell me where the store is, I’ll go.”

So here she was, two packs of beer in her hands, not sure ifshe really wanted to go back there, but not really wanting to go home alone inher costume, trying to open the front door of the building without her hands.The music was so loud they probably didn’t hear the buzzer she was pressing onwith her elbow.

Oh this night was just great.

“Here, let me help you,” A voice came behind her.

Abigail turned to see a women, probably in her earlyforties, coming behind her, with her keys in hand. She was wrapped in a longnavy coat, hair in a bun, and impressive dark circles under her eyes. Shelooked her up and down and Abigail was sure she never felt as ridiculous in herentire life.

The woman kindly opened the door for her and held it whileAbigail hauled herself and the packs of beer inside.

“Cold night, isn’t it?” The woman asked.

She had the most amazing hazel eyes Abigail had ever seen.And a very kind smile. There was nothing judgmental in her voice. She wasn’ttalking about Abigail’s costume, she was just casually referring to how coldthe night was.

“At least the beers will just be fresh,” She answered shyly.

The woman’s smile widened. She walked to the elevator: “Whatfloor are you going to?”

“The fourth floor.”

The woman held the elevator door for her. Abigail couldn’thelp but think this was very chivalrous of her. She felt her ears and hercheeks burn. She didn’t quite know why.

She wanted to speak, to say something to fill the silence,but the elevator doors were closing. Abigail set the two beer packs on thefloor. The woman pressed the fourth floor button. Abigail tried to pretend shewasn’t deeply curious about which floor the woman lived in.

She didn’t press any other button.

“So you live on the fourth floor too,” She asked, trying notto wince at the banality of her question. She must have sounded like a banalgirl making boring small talk because she was just stuck here and…

“I am,” the woman only replied while tugging on her hairbandto release her hair from the bun. Abigail wondered how long it was. “It wouldappear we are neighbours. Have you moved in recently? I don’t recall seeingyou.”

“Oh, no, I… I don’t live here. I’m just here for the party.I hope we won’t bother you too much with the music. I can tell them to…”

Abigail didn’t have the opportunity to finish her sentencewhen the lights in the elevator started to flicker. She immediately looked up,addressing a prayer to deaf Fortuna, for normal lights.

Of course, deaf Fortuna happened to be very deaf tonight andtwo seconds later, the elevator started trembling, stuttering, and finallycompletely stopped.

Abigail gasped, struggling to recover her balance,instinctually grabbing the railing. The woman stood still, silent, tense, withher hair half-undone. Everything was silent for a moment, a beat, and it feltlike the world had stopped.

The woman looked back at her, as if checking with her thatthis was really happening.

Suddenly, recognition passed over her face: “The Bride of Frankenstein, James Whale,1935.”

Abigail, whose heart was suddenly beating as quickly as theelevator was not going, took a minute to understand. She frowned a little,blinked, and then found herself nodding a little, completely dumbfounded.

“The pose reminded me…” The woman said with a joyless smile.She turned back to the button panel and pressed the fouth one again. And again.“It usually works…” She muttered, more to herself than to Abigail, who wasstill torn between confusion and panic.

She pressed the ground floor button. Nothing happened.

With a deep sigh, the woman finally pressed the redemergency button.

“Do you have signal on your phone?” She asked Abigail, who triednot to blush while fishing her phone from the only place she have enough spaceto put it: in her bra.

“I only have one bar. It might be enough to call 911.”

“Good, good.” The woman sighed, closing her eyes as if thiswas the first good news she had heard today.  “Have you ever called an emergency linebefore?”

Abigail shook her head no. The woman gestured for her togive her the phone.

After a short but very, very efficient conversation, the womanended the call and announced: “ So, looks like we’re going to be trapped herefor a while… They told me 15 minutes, thereabouts.”

“But what if the elevator drops? Can’t they come faster?”Abigail said, and immediately noticed how shrill her panicked voice sounded.

“The statistics for that to happen are very, very low. Butif it ever goes south, there’s always the emergency trap door. Although thisoption is not the safest one either. The safest bet is to sit here and wait forthe fire department to arrive. Will you be alright? Are you having a panicattack? Can you breathe?”

A little overwhelmed by the information, and the rapid successionof questions, Abigail had difficulty finding her words. She just shook her headyes, then no, and finally stuttered: “I’m fine. Just a little… nervous, youknow.”

The woman continued to look at her intently, this time witha mischievous smile that made her eyes lit up a little: “Is this your firsttime?”

Now Abigail was pretty sure she was blushing badly.

“Being stuck in an elevator,” the woman finally took pity onher.

“Oh, um, yes, I never… It never happened before… You, on theother hand, look like you have experience… in being stuck in elevators.”

“Only once before. But I definitively have some experiencedealing with… uncomfortable situations. I’m an ER doctor.”

“Oh,” was all Abigail could answer, trying hard not to thinkhow… fitting that was.

After apparently waiting for something for a beat, the womansmiled again and held out her hand: “Miranda Barlow. I live next door to theparty-goers.”

Miranda Barlow. What a distinguished name. Miranda Barlow. Shelooked very distinguished, despite the fatigue evident on her traits. With herhair still half-undone and her dark circles, she would have made the bestdoctor one could ask for. Sexy Frankenstein doctor costume. They would havemade such a hit at that party…

“Abigail. Abigail Ashe. Nice to meet you.” She shook herselfup and took Miranda’s hand, tightening her fingers a little and letting goalmost immediately, terrified she would linger too long.

Miranda’s smile widened a little. Her smile just made her cheekboneslook even nicer, and there was something purely bewitching about those eyes.She seemed wise, and kind, and warm, and there was something in Abigail thatcraved it.

“So, Abigail,” Miranda tested the name on her tongue.Abigail hoped she liked it. “Having a Halloween party?”

“Yes, I don’t usually dress like this,” Abigail joked with alittle smile, and then proceeded to mentally slap herself. It sounded like shethought Miranda was stupid. Of course she didn’t like this every day.

“It’s a shame. You look cute.”

Abigail had to lower her head to hide a smile. She wishedshe could use her hair to hide her face. Now was not the time to feel like herheart just burst in her chest because a woman was just offering her a politecompliment in a blocked elevator.

Lowering her eyes, she saw the two packs of beer at herfeet. Without thinking, she offered: “Since we’re stuck here… Would you like abeer?”

Miranda laughed. She looked at her through her eyelashes.That mischievous smile. Abigail loved it. “Just one. We need to at least besober when we get rescued.”

Miranda then let her coat slide down her shoulders and laidit on the floor of the elevator. She then sat down on it with a groan. Shepressed a hand against her atlas, massaging it with the tips of her fingers.Abigail took two bottles out of the first pack, looking for an acceptable spoton the elevator floor where she could sit in such a short skirt. Miranda smiledat her again and then inclined her head slightly to invite her on the coat nextto her.

Abigail gingerly lowered herself down on the coat, extendingher legs in front of her.

She could smell the acidic smell of sterile rooms, thestrong perfume of coffee, and just a hint, an afternote of honey and almond,probably from her soap, or her shampoo.

She passed a beer to Miranda and mentally scolded herselffor checking whether Miranda had a wedding band. She hoped Miranda hadn’tnoticed but she couldn’t bring herself to turn her head fully towards Mirandato check if she had.

Abigail started sipping her beer to look busy.

She didn’t have a wedding band.

“So, how did you meet Max and Silver?” Miranda asked.

“Eleanor, my roommate, she knows them since, like, high school,I think. I’m sorry you’ll have to hear the party after a long day at work.”Abigail apologized again.

“It really isn’t a problem. I like having the music, and thenoise. It helps me sleep.” Miranda’s voice became more pensive, and Abigailturned her head to look at her. Miranda was looking at the ceiling. She lookedvery tired. Abigail wished she could lend her her shoulder to sleep on, likeEleanor and her did sometimes.

It probably wasn’t appropriate.

Suddenly, her phone rang, making her jump badly, andspilling some beer on her thigh. She scrambled to get it, and unlock it. Aremote corner of her mind realized that Miranda had probably seen her phonebackground, which was a picture of John Singer Sargent’s portrait of Vernon Leewith the caption “I can take your breath away like your favourite painting”which was a joke she had made on Snapchat and that Eleanor has stuck as herbackground (and lock screen) to punish her for being “the worst nerd she hadever met”. Abigail had never changed because she didn’t know what to replace itwith… and also, honestly, it was still pretty funny…

“Yes, Eleanor?” She answered her phone.

“Oh thank fucking god, you’re alive! Are you alright? Wherethe fuck are you? Have you gone home?”

“No, I actually went on the beer run, like an honest person,and I’m not stuck in the elevator. With the beer.”

“Stuck in the elevator? How?” Eleanor’s words were slightlyslurred and it was difficult to hear her over the noise.

“Stuck as in, the elevator stopped, the doors won’t open,and we have to wait until the fire department arrives to unstuck us.”

“When the fuck… Wait… WAIT! Us?! Who are you with? Billy wasright fucking here not two seconds ago! Was it two seconds?”

Abigail heard Miranda chuckle next to her. Oh no, no, no,she couldn’t have Miranda think she had a boyfriend!

“I’m not with Billy, I’m with Miranda Barlow. The neighbour.”

As if Miranda had just been conjured back to the realm ofreality, she manifested herself by dabbing a little at Abigail’s thigh with atissue, to wipe away the beer she had spilled. Abigail tried not to gasp in thephone.

“Oh, okay…” Eleanor answered, like she was thinking aboutsomething but was not sure enough to actually talk about it. Which was veryrare.

“I don’t want my phone to run out of battery, so I’ll justhang up, okay?”

“It’s a shame Billy is here tonight because he could havebeen working and you could have met like this, and it would have been fuckingromantic,” Eleanor started rambling on only to be drowned by people cheering anew song.

“I’ll call you back,” Abigail said and ended the call. “Sorryabout that, it’s… Eleanor…”

Miranda smiled at her, like they were sharing some kind ofsecret by sitting here in a blocked elevator, sipping beer. Abigail did herbest not to look at her lips, but felt like she couldn’t look into her eyeswithout being entirely unveiled.

She wanted to kiss Miranda. Very much so. She wanted to justlean in and press her lips to Miranda’s. She wanted Miranda’s hand to stay onher knee. Wherever she wanted to put her hands, really. Miranda just… made herwant to lean in.

Miranda just drank some of her beer: “So, is Billy yourboyfriend?”

“Oh, no, he’s really not. I barely met him. But my friendswant to set me up with him.”

“Don’t you want to be set up with him?”

“I… Um… It just… feels kind of awkward, I guess. Like…Forced.”

“Contrary to being stuck in the elevator with someone,”Miranda answered without missing a beat.

Abigail almost choked on her beer. Was Miranda suggestingthey were… having a first date?

“What about you?” Abigail asked, “do you have a boyfri…husband?”

Miranda smiled like she knew something Abigail didn’t. Sheprobably did. Many things. “I don’t. Neither boyfriend nor husband.”

Abigail had to bite her tongue not to answer “Good”.

They spent the next minutes drinking their beer and idlytalking about their favourite movies, movies they wanted to watch at thecinema, how they used to celebrate Halloween when they were younger… Abigailfelt that Miranda was just making her talk to forget that they were stuck soshe wouldn’t panic, but she was doing a very good job at looking veryinterested. She even remembered the details of what she was telling her.Abigail felt like she needed to stop uncovering her entire life to thisnear=stranger, but then Miranda would share something very nice and interestingabout the many places she had travelled to, and it all felt so genuine.

There was something in Miranda that Abigail felt drawn by.The way she spoke, how deep her voice was, how you could hear the smile in herwords, how effortlessly funny she was. There was definitively something… rawerabout it as well. A very simple desire to touch her and be touched by her. Itwas surprising how physical that desire was.

When the team from the fire department finally spoke to themthrough the emergency line in the elevator, they both jumped a little. Mirandalaughed a little and leaned her forehead against Abigail’s temple, making hergasp softly.

All in all, they were out half an hour after having steppedin the elevator, but Abigail could barely remember anything that did notinclude Miranda this evening.

She did feel a little ridiculous when she stepped out of theelevator dressed like a sexy Bride of Frankenstein, but that was nothing nextto Silver drunkenly suggesting things had happened in the elevator before thefire department had arrived, when Miranda stepped out with her hair undone andher coat on her arm.

Suggestion to which Miranda had replied with agood-humoured: “You’re just jealous because James hasn’t come to your party.”

Which was belied by a man dressed in an impressivelywell-made 1931 Bela Lugosi Dracula costume stepping through the crowd to drunkenlygreet Miranda.

The next day, Abigail woke up with a slight hangover in abed she didn’t remember as hers. Her heart beating in her chest, she walked tothe other room, only to find Miranda sleeping on the couch, wrapped in ablanket. Abigail smiled and went to the kitchen to start making some breakfast.

[somethinginspirationalandaww]

ALL OF THE QUESTIONS

Aight fam you asked for it

1.Who was the last person you held hands with?– a cute guy 😎
2. Are you outgoing or shy?

– I’m shy at first but I’m too outgoing once you get to know me 
3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

– a couple different people but mostly my cat Bonnie and my dog Zoey
4. Are you easy to get along with?

– I like to think so
5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

– I guess??? 
6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

– dorks
7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

– good question fam 🤔
8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

– do fictional characters count because I’m trying to finish this novelette and the main character is a dude so
9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

– everyone thinks it does because I’m ace but it really doesn’t bother me 
10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

– my best friends who hate this website
11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

– “OMG”
12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

– Dirty Diana (Shaman’s Harvest Cover)– Blank Space (I Prevail’s Cover)– Lonely Town (Brandon Flowers)– I Know a Place (MUNA)– Put Your Money On Me (The Struts)Check back next week this will probably have changed by then
13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

– if I know them and trust them yes
14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

– I sure do hope so
15. What good thing happened this summer?

– this past summer??? Well I moved back to my home state so that was nice 
16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

– 10/10 would recommend 😎
17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

– I think it’d be ignorant not to
18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

– lmao know I have no idea what happened to that guy anyway
19. Do you like bubble baths?

– once in a while 
20. Do you like your neighbors?

– yeah sure 
21. What are you bad habits?

– this website– I put the pro in procrastinate
22. Where would you like to travel?

– Scotland– Italy– Argentina
23. Do you have trust issues?

– yeah fam 
24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

– going to the library 
25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

– probably my stomach but I’m pretty confident in my body. I’d say stretch marks but I’d expect that to happen when a human body tries to contain the being of a goddess 🤔
26. What do you do when you wake up?

– snooze button
27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

– no I love my skin the way it is 
28. Who are you most comfortable around?

– Bonnie and Zoey
29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

– kind of??? It’s a mess fam
30. Do you ever want to get married?

– if I find the right person sure why not 
31. If your hair long enough for a ponytail?

– yeah but I’m going to cut it soon
32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

– lmao um celebrities are people too and this question makes me uncomfortable 🤗 
33. Spell your name with your chin

– gatxh

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

– hahahahahahahahahah no
35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

– dear god that’s like asking me if I’d rather live without water or oxygen
36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

– yeah 
37. What do you say during awkward silences?

– nothing. Silences are nice I don’t know why everyone wants to make them awkward 
38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

– is interested in me– has a pulse
39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

– Indigo Sol, Old Navy, Bath and Body Works
40. What do you want to do after high school?

– I’m in college fam
41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

– nah some people fuck up too badly
42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

– I’m just chillin 
43. Do you smile at strangers?

– yeah sometimes it can really brighten someone’s day
44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

– ocean 
45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

– my work and my friends 
46. What are you paranoid about?

– people being honest with me and what people are thinking about me 
47. Have you ever been high?

– no and I don’t plan on ever being high
48. Have you ever been drunk?

– no and again I don’t plan on it
49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

– if I had what makes you think I’d answer this
50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?
– light gray

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

– no I’m me and that’s the only way I’d want it to be
52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

– well I sure would like to get rid of that Depression/Anxiety combo
53. Favourite makeup brand?

– uh Clinique??? Idk 
54. Favourite store?

– Indigo Sol
55. Favourite blog?

– um mine 😎
56. Favourite colour?

– dark blue
57. Favourite food?

– literally any kind of pasta 
58. Last thing you ate?

– grilled cheese
59. First thing you ate this morning?

– chicken egg and cheese biscuit 
60. Ever won a competition? For what?

– my team and I won first place for a small film contest for freshman last semester so that’s cool because I wrote the script 💁
61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

– FOR BEING TOO BEAUTIFUL!!!– jk I’ve never been suspended or expelled
62. Been arrested? For what?

– ^^^
63. Ever been in love?

– unfortunately it doesn’t have a happy ending 
64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?
– it was at a ninth grade dance and it was cheesy but eh

65. Are you hungry right now?

– yeah 
66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

– most of my Tumblr friends are my real friends 
67. Facebook or Twitter?

– Facebook (I don’t have a twitter)
68. Twitter or Tumblr?

– Tumblr I guess
69. Are you watching tv right now?

– no
70. Names of your bestfriends?

– I’m not using their real names but I’ve nicknamed them Yams, Beanie, and Nipster.
71. Craving something? What?

– boy I sure would love to sleep
72. What colour are your towels?

– blue
72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

– four
73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

– none at school, one at home 
74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

– *insert gif of Cafu saying “The limit does not exist!”*– I’m on mobile sorry
75. Favourite animal?

– Wolf**i just really love dogs and wolves are so pretty but powerful and just so cool but I’m not one of those I’m-wolf-on-all-levels-except-physical kind of person 
76. What colour is your underwear?

– black
77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

– vanilla 
78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

– cake batter
79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

– gray 
80. What colour pants?

– gray with floral print 
81. Favourite tv show?

– there are too many but my all time favorite shows are The Odd Couple (the one from the 70s), Bobs Burgers, Gilmore Girls, Once Upon a Time, and Doctor Who
82. Favourite movie?

– The Princess Bride 
83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

– Mean Girls 
84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

– Mean Girls
85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

– Glenn Coco
86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

– Dory
87. First person you talked to today?

– my best friends in a group chat
88. Last person you talked to today?

– one of my close friends at school 
89. Name a person you hate?

– Donald Trump
90. Name a person you love?

– Me
91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?
– Capitalism

92. In a fight with someone?

– no
93. How many sweatpants do you have?

– like 4 pairs 
94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

– like 10
95. Last movie you watched?

– North by Northwest
96. Favourite actress?

– Lana Parilla and Lauren Graham 
97. Favourite actor?

– Tom Hanks and Ewan McGregor
98. Do you tan a lot?

– I mean I’m in the sun a lot and I tan easily so????
99. Have any pets?

– they are my babies and their names are Bonnie and Zoey
100. How are you feeling?

– chill but a little bummed
101. Do you type fast?

– fast enough 
102. Do you regret anything from your past?

– it’d be easier to say what I don’t regret fam 
103. Can you spell well?

– W E L L – lmao I’m just messing yeah I can spell a variety of words well 
104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

– yeah I miss a lot of people 
105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

– yeah they’re pretty fun
106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

– probably 
107. Have you ever been on a horse?

– yeah
108. What should you be doing?

– writing or sleeping
109. Is something irritating you right now?

– no
110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

– yeah they call it heartbreak for a reason 
111. Do you have trust issues?

– wasn’t this already asked 
112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

– my mom
113. What was your childhood nickname?

– KK
114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

– yeah
115. Do you play the Wii?

– yes because I’m terrible with any other console
116. Are you listening to music right now?

– yeah 
117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

– yes
118. Do you like Chinese food?

– yes
119. Favourite book?

– oh man that’s hard probably The Book Thief as my favorite stand alone book 
120. Are you afraid of the dark?

– no
121. Are you mean?

– I can be
122. Is cheating ever okay?

– fuck 👏 no 👏
123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

– no
124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

– not really
125. Do you believe in true love?

– I used to 
126. Are you currently bored?

– not really I’m doing this
127. What makes you happy?

– good Mac n cheese, my friends, getting compliments on my writing 
128. Would you change your name?

– no it’s too iconic
129. What your zodiac sign?

– Scorpio 
130. Do you like subway?

– I can live with subway but it’s not a favorite
131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

– not worry because that doesn’t happen to me
132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

– I’m pretty sure this question was asked already too
133. Favourite lyrics right now?

– “If we go down then we go down together” (The Chainsmokers)
134. Can you count to one million?

– if someone told me they were holding my best friend as a hostage and the only way I could save them was to count to one million I could do it but it’s not exactly how I spend my free time


135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

– I’m allergic to Chinese food (I hated it when I was seven for whatever reason)
136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

– closed 
137. How tall are you?

– 5'4"
138. Curly or Straight hair?

– curly 
139. Brunette or Blonde?

– brunette 
140. Summer or Winter?

– neither I’m a spring/fall kind of gal
141. Night or Day?

– night 
142. Favourite month?

– November 
143. Are you a vegetarian?

– no
144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

– milk
145. Tea or Coffee?

– coffee
146. Was today a good day?

– eh
147. Mars or Snickers?

– neither, Twix 
148. What’s your favourite quote?

– “the risks I take are calculated but man am I bad at math”
149. Do you believe in ghosts?

– yes
150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line

– it’s just doodles because the closest book next to me is my journal

[siouxempirepodcast]

10 Spot Spotlight: Jason Weihs

After a four-month hiatus, the 10-Spot Spotlight is back. I’ve sat down with comedians and a club owner to talk about the ever-growing comedy scene in Sioux Falls, but there wouldn’t be a scene in any town if it wasn’t for this guy. The guy I’m talking about is the independent producer. This  guy works countless hours behind the scenes booking & promoting shows. No one really knows who he is, but they get to enjoy his hard work. He takes all the financial risks. Sometimes he wins & other times he loses, but at the end of the day he can hang up his hat knowing that he did something great; produced a show!

For over 20 years Jason Weihs has been independently producing music and comedy shows here in Sioux Falls. From underground basement shows to shows at venues like the Orpheum & Icon Lounge. Jayson has worked in cooperation with bigger companies like Pepper Entertainment & Jade Presents along with owning his own companies bringing many acts to Sioux Falls before they got huge.

He has brought such comics as Doug Benson, Kyle Kinane, Doug Stanhope, Neil Hamburger and even Henry Rollins. Musical acts such as Modest Mouse, 311, Brother Ali, and the list goes on and on. While you might not know his name directly, there is a good chance you’ve heard of his company The Collective Efforts Union (which started in the early 90’s as a group of kids producing punk rock shows) and maybe even his latest project Bump Underground, a human verified events calendar here in Sioux Falls, SD.

Bump Underground

Back in December, I sat down with Jayson at Black Sheep Coffee to see what drives him to do what he does.

DB: What got you into producing shows?

JW: Back in the mid 90’s the music I listened to wasn’t really mainstream and there wasn’t a lot of opportunities to see a band you liked especially here in Sioux Falls, SD. There was some all ages shows going on at the Pomp Room but that was before Facebook & Myspace, even flyers back then were hand drawn, so if you didn’t hear about the show from someone you knew then you would miss it.  When I was in my early teens I missed some really great events just because I simply wasn’t aware of them so it was really about finding a network to be plugged into because it wasn’t as easy to know what was going on. I knew I wanted something that I couldn’t find for a while but I didn’t know what it was yet.

I started seeing people that I knew going to these events and shows that were more like skater shows. Now there is all these subdivisions of music & culture but back then the lines weren’t as blurred. I didn’t drink or do drugs so I didn’t really hang out with kids that did, but I soon realized they were the kids doing all this music stuff that I wanted to be a part of. So I was like how do I get involved with it without having to go to all their parties. When I was a junior I finally started hearing about the shows so I was going and interacted with those people. Everything in my life since then was changed. A lot of the music and entertainment that I liked wasn’t really being booked and though I tried I was never musical so I wanted to help set up the shows and bring the bands. Back then if you were involved in the scene then you contributed in some way. There were musicians, people who ran houses for shows and I was gonna be the guy that booked the talent. I was just the only one that kept doing it. As the Internet evolved it became more of a job than a hobby.

DB: What’s your favorite local hangout spot?

JW: I hang out here a lot at Black Sheep Coffee and I have brunch almost every Sunday at M.B. Haskett with my lady and a couple of our friends. As far as entertainment goes I really like Icon a lot.

DB: What do you like most about South Dakota? What do you like the least?

JW: The least is very easy this time of year, the weather. I don’t like anything about it. Some people like the aesthetics of a white Christmas but there is nothing about cold, winter, or ice that appeals to me at all. My favorite thing has always been the community. It hasn’t really grown but it has become so specialized with all these sub-communities. I think that is something that changes when you have so much more choice. Back then when a show was going on the headliner and the style of the show wasn’t even the point it was today’s adventure is at Nordic Hall. You were going to meet and hang out with people, but also there were bands playing. Now it’s I don’t wanna go to that because I don’t like the band or the venue. All of our choice has made us more choosy and back then it was do all, yes. I just love the community. The interaction and the tight-knit family of people that are hard at work making music and venues happen. All working towards a better community.

DB: What was your best show? Worst Show?

JW: Not really a lot of bad experiences, but I had a hip hop show once that went really badly. It was a member of the Wu-Tang Clan played here on a Sunday. It was cold and no one was there. He was very unhappy. They also wanted me to get them some weed which I was unable to do so they were unhappy about that as well. So that was just a real unpleasant experience in general.

Best show? There are lots that stick out. I did show for At the Drive-In at the Knights of Columbus hall back in like ‘96 or ‘97. It was just amazing. Almost 500 people were there. It was the most amount of people I had ever gathered for an event at the time and it was a band that I really like. There wasn’t a stage and it was all people that knew each other. When you are able to get 400-500 people from word of mouth it’s incredible. The energy and camaraderie was really cool.

DB: What are you working on right now?

JW: I’m working on getting acts and sponsorship for the  Bump Underground Black party next year. Then standard Collective Efforts bookings. Working on shows throughout the winter. It’s kind of a slow time. Always looking for the next best thing to be involved with. I’m almost 40 so I’m always trying to find ways to pay my rent and feed my family.

DB: What was the last thing you watched on TV and why did you choose to watch it?

JW: I watched Paw Patrol with my daughter which is a cartoon. I chose to watch it because she wanted to recite the names of the dogs. The last thing I chose to watch was Entourage with my lady because I’ve seen most of it, but she hasn’t seen any of it and when the Entourage movie came out I downloaded and my wife was like “I haven’t seen that show.” Then I was like I guess we’ll watch all 8 seasons of it before I can watch the movie.

DB: What do you think about when you are alone in your car?

JW: Oh geez. The never ending list of things to do. I don’t write things down as much as I should so I end up looking up to the sky a lot to mentally cross things off the list and my daughter because I’m always worried about where she is.

DB: How many bottles of wine have you finished without ever actually pouring any of the wine into a glass?

JW: When I was younger I didn’t really party much, but once I turned 23 I started working in a bar and managed a bar, but I never liked wine, so none.

DB: What’s the most money you’ve ever drunkenly spent at McDonald’s?

JW: Man. Probably close to twenty bucks for sure. Closing the bar down and going to Fryin Pan is more likely, but yeah drive through. Where do I usually go? Hardees.

DB: Who was your favorite Spice Girl?

JW: I don’t really know the difference between them. Ginger Spice I think. It sounds like she would be saucy.

DB: What was the last gift you gave someone?

JW: What is the last gift I gave someone? I think I need to give more gifts (laughs). I go to Benson Flea market a lot and we got a giant Transformer figure for our boy.

The Collective Efforts Union

You can keep up with Jayson’s events through the Collective Efforts Union and be sure to check out Bump Underground for live local events in Sioux Falls, SD or on Twitter at @605bump or @TheCEU

For my complete schedule & social media links visit my website www.danbublitz.com

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