#i was DD last night (for the first time) and … it is exhausting LOL | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ichorai · 4 years

Text

cellmates ; four ; j.wy

pairing ; jung wooyoung x reader

summary ; stuck in jail after stealing a necklace off the princess, what happens when your new cellmate with an impossible escape plan comes along?

words ; 5.2k

warnings / includes ; medieval fantasy au, blood and grime and death and everything in between, some curse words, future ateez cameos, future suggestive / mature content, cellmates to (future) lovers !!

a/n ; surprise !! here you go stop crying >:( kdjffj jk i hope yall enjoy !!! the plot thickens up quite a bit in this one 👀 ,,, there are also a couple surprises sprinkled here and there :DD to make up for what i did to yall last chapter lol

cellmates masterlist.

As a child, a popular tale you often heard was one depicting a man stranded on an island, throat dry with thirst and stomach void of nourishment. He passed out in exhaustion by the beach, just on the brink of death. But before his soul could fade away, the mermaids took pity on the man of skin-and-bones and brought him underwater, breathing life back into his lungs. He contentedly lived the rest of his life as a merperson.

Although stories like those always had happy endings, they could never really make you smile, unlike how all the other children reacted. What about the people the man cared about when he was on land? Had he just completely forgotten about them to selfishly live an easier life underwater?

The same thoughts ran through your pounding head repeatedly as you dully stared out into the gleaming ocean. From where you were, bound tightly against the main mast, you had a clear view of both the ship’s deck and the waters. You couldn’t really remember how long you’d been tied up… if you could recall correctly, they had only thrown Wooyoung overboard just last night. That felt like an eternity ago.

All thoughts of mermaids and fairy tales and Wooyoung dissipated from your mind once a pirate stepped into your view. In the daylight, they were far less scary than when you had first encountered them. The pirate had bronzed skin verging on being sunburnt, and sharp eyes of molten gold. A red bandana held his hair out of his leering face, and you noticed a dark branding burn of a sword ran through a skull embedded on his chest, partially covered by his loose tunic.

The man tutted, grabbing your chin between two fingers. It was then that you realized just how tired you were; you hadn’t gotten any sleep, instead spending the night struggling against your bonds and crying after Wooyoung.

“Let me go.” Your voice was so hoarse that it didn’t sound like yours anymore.

The pirate merely grinned and shook his head.

You wracked your brain for a second before spitting out, “Isn’t it bad luck to have a woman onboard? Your ship will sink if you keep me here.”

“Why, you must have nothing but worms between your ears,” He cackled in a sinister manner. “That’s just a silly little myth, sweetheart. Women are more than welcome here.” With those words, he ran his eyes over your tense form. A predator surveying its prey.

Much to your relief, the pirate stepped down. That feeling didn’t last very long, however. Just as he slid back, more pirates filtered into your view, clearly just having woken up to start the day. There were so many eyes on you; some curious, some disinterested, and some boldly staring with unsavory expressions.

“I say we make her do the dirty work,” One with golden teeth chimed. “Scrub the decks, clean the chamber pots.”

“We should toss her overboard. We don’t need another mouth to feed.”

“Keep her tied up there! A pretty thing like her should be on display for everyone to see!”

“We can drop her off at the next port and sell her off as a slave. We could use the extra gold.”

“Awh, don’t you think we should keep her? Ain’t half bad to look at.”

Those were only just a few snippets you could make out in the midst of the tumultuous roaring of the pirates as they yelled their suggestions over each other. They grew progressively louder as more ideas came into mind on what they should do with you. Panic brewed within you, but your limbs were tired and your mind was numb. All you could do was stand and watch.

The pirates immediately quietened once a one-eyed man with a peg leg hobbled out of the navigation room. The soft clunk, clunk, clunk of the wooden leg against the planks was not unsimilar to the rapid thundering of your heartbeat.

This is the captain, you thought. It was obvious, what with the way the pirates shut their mouths tightly and bowed their heads down to their chests. Some even trembled on the spot. If Wooyoung were here, he’d laugh at them.

Oh, how you missed him.

The captain had a voice of pure silk, a stark contrast to his ragged appearance. In a quietly powerful tone, he stated firmly, “We leave her here until we reach Aurecia. Then we sell her off.” After a tense pause, he sternly added on, “Nobody touches her until then. Aurecians pay well for unspoilt women, so if any of you lot come remotely close to her, I’ll have your heads.”

The diminutive consolation you received from the captain’s commands ebbed away slightly when you thought more about what he was saying. They were going to sell you off as a slave in Aurecia. And if you could recall the map correctly, Aurecia was the opposite direction of Virelis, where you were supposed to be going. To top it all off, Cerulea and Aurecia were trusted allies, and that could mean nothing good for you.

“No!” You suddenly interjected in a croaky voice, throat so dry it felt like you had sandpaper in your mouth. “Please, don’t take me there. I need to go to Virelis. Please, you can sell me there!”

Everybody stared at you in complete befuddlement. The captain gaped at you with one narrowed eye and spat out, “Virelis doesn’t take slaves. Don’t play games with me, girl.”

Out of desperation, pleading words frantically poured out of your mouth before you could stop and hesitate, “Then don’t sell me! I’m useful, I swear!”

“Forgive me if I have difficulty believing you,” The captain said in a bored tone, gesturing to your bleeding, tied up form.

A frustrated huff escaped you as you hissed out, “I’m Y/N L/N! I was the one that stole the princess’ necklace! I’m a valuable asset and you’d be lucky to have me on your crew.”

A stunned silence washed over the pirates. Then, one by one, they started laughing. They snorted and chuckled and slapped their knees as if you had told them the funniest joke in the world. You half-heartedly attempted speaking again, but your voice was drowned out by their howling laughter.

“SHUT THE FUCK UP BEFORE I FEED YOUR SORRY ASSES TO THE SHARKS!” The captain bellowed, his velvety tone long gone. He had his arms crossed tightly over his chest, a scowl pulling at his lips.

The lot of them snapped their mouths shut so quickly you could hear their teeth clacking against one other.

“Y/N L/N is nothing but a legend,” The captain stepped closer to you, his one eye narrowed in suspicion. “I don’t know, nor do I care for why you’re lying, but it better not become a problem. I’ve already got one crew to deal with. I don’t need to add a raving lunatic onto the list.”

“Please!” You wiggled against your bonds slightly, wincing at how the coarse rope fibers scratched at your chafed skin. “Why would I lie?! You’ve got to believe me, I’m Y/N L/N, I’ve been in jail for a long time and I’ve only recently escaped with the man you tossed overboard. Please, we can go bring him back, he can tell you, I - !”

The words lodged in your throat. It was pointless, trying to convince a haggle of savage pirates to go back for someone they tossed to the sharks. There was a sort of heavy pain deep down in your chest, and you brokenly blew out a sigh. The feeling churned at your insides uncomfortably. It might’ve been the sea sickness, but you knew it was a nasty combination of guilt and panic and regret.

The captain noticed your abrupt change in demeanor, but decided not to comment. Instead, he said stoically, “Y/N L/N is a wonderful character in a legend told to scare children and I would absolutely love to meet her. But unfortunately, I don’t think I’d ever get the pleasure to. She’s not real.” You stared into his one eye, tears welling up in your own. “And about the man we tossed over… he put up a real fight and he wasn’t worth the trouble. He’s probably long gone by now. It’d do you good to forget about him.”

Pirates behind the pair of you started snickering, but were quietened when the captain straightened and just about snarled out, “DON’T YOU HAVE WORK TO DO? GET ON WITH IT, YOU STINKY BASTARDS!”

They scrambled in a panicked fashion, a few of them running into each other as they dashed in opposite directions, others clumsily slipping on the damp plank wood, and some merely ran like headless chickens with no definite direction in mind.

“They’ll treat you well in Aurecia, girl,” The captain slipped back into his velvety tone once more. You supposed this was his way of apologizing… or, the closest thing to an apology you’d ever get from a pirate. “Just try to accept it and it won’t seem as bad. This lot here won’t hurt you in the meantime. I’ll make sure of that.” He gestured to the rest of the men who were settling back into their daily routines. You were surprised to see that they were already hard at work; manning the sails, scrubbing the decks, navigating the ship, so on so forth. The life of a pirate definitely wasn't an easy one.

You said nothing in return, staring blankly at the glinting ocean. The hollow clunk, clunk, clunk of his peg leg fading away was a sure sign that the captain was gone. You couldn’t bring it in yourself to watch him go.

This was most probably the worst possible time to cry. At this point, you were surprised your sore eyes could still manage to produce tears, considering how dehydrated you were. It was obvious that some of the pirates were still watching you, pausing mid-job. You tried to ignore them and hung your head sullenly as dry sobs rumbled in your chest.

You were stuck floating in a gigantic cesspool of saltwater, and yet your body had the audacity to produce even more. It was this very water you were bobbing on that most probably filled Wooyoung’s lungs as he gave up his last breath. The thought did nothing but make you weep harder.

Pirates really had no designated time to have luncheon and supper, but their stomachs all seemed to revolve around roughly the same hours. By the time the golden of the sun was grazing against the deep green waters and the sky was bleeding a strange shade of amaranthine, they were all shouting out complaints of hunger and trotting to the small kitchens below deck to have supper.

You were hungry, but also sure that if you had even a morsel of bread, you would heave it right back out. The day was spent with you gazing at the rocking waters, bustling pirates, and the large, tattered flag that hung proudly way above you. On occasion, you tried pleading to the pirates who were passing by, but none of them so much as glanced towards you. It seemed as though they took their captain’s orders to heart.

And so, after hours and hours of being neglected, imagine your surprise when one particular pirate sheepishly walked up to you, a little after all the others had disappeared below the deck to eat.

At first, you hadn’t noticed the quiet man because you had your stinging eyes shut, trying to block off the last and harshest glares of the sun as it sank under the edge of the world.

He cleared his throat once, and your eyes flew back open, startled.

“You must be starving,” He said.

The first thing you noticed about him was the strangely soft shade of pink his hair was. It wasn’t unsimilar to the color of Yunho’s hair, and you found yourself wondering how the kind giant of a man would react knowing that you lost Wooyoung.

“Oh,” He gestured to the brightly-hued strands on his forehead. “I’m half fairy. Everybody looks at me funny when they first see my hair.”

Snapping out of your thoughts, you observed the man in front of you suspiciously. You had little to say in reply to the strangely personal fact he told you, and so you bit down on your tongue and let silence further consume you.

He had an angular face and complementing sharp features, but he bore a timid expression in an unexpectedly stark contrast. What was this fairy-man doing on a pirate ship? He didn’t look at all like the rest of the crew. The others were sunburnt and filthy and rugged. He, however, was somewhat well kempt, skin void of burns and scars and dirt. A loose cream-hued tunic was hung over broad shoulders, barely slung over his hardened chest, a leather belt tightened around the small of his waist and tucked into black trousers. It was quite a dignifying outfit in comparison to the rest of the crew clad in dirty rags and stolen clothes that didn’t match in the slightest. But for that, you could understand. Seeing the pirates randomly throw on haphazard articles of clothing, you thought back to when you were on the run with Wooyoung, stealing clothes off of drying lines and changing into whatever would fit.

The only thing that pushed the strange pink-haired man more towards the ‘rugged pirate’ side was a silver lip ring glinting with the late sunlight from the side of his bottom lip. In his eyes you saw gentle kindness, but you knew better than to trust him just yet.

“Are you hungry? I can sneak something up for you while everyone’s busy stuffing their face full.” He had a voice of honey and silk, tempting you to accept his generous offer. But you kept your mouth shut.

“I understand,” A sad, empathetic look crossed his face. “Sea sickness is the worst the first couple of days. From there, it’ll gradually get better once you get used to it. But please, drink some water.”

From out of nowhere, he brandished a pretty silver chalice and held it up to you, the metal stingingly cool against your lips. You would’ve been stupid to turn down the water, so you leaned forward slightly and slurped at the drink so quickly that some sloshed down your chin and dripped onto your chest.

“I can get you some more later,” He said, pulling the cup away as you gasped for air. “But I have to tell you something important first. My name is San, by the way.”

He had a name that roughly translated to ‘mountain’ in Old Cerulean. You thought it was a rather pretty name… fitting for such a pretty man.

“I just wanted to say this while no one was around,” San sucked in a deep breath, steeling his quaking nerves. “I believe you.”

The water had certainly drowned away the scratchy burn in your throat, so you were free to painlessly stutter out, “W-What?”

“I believe you,” He repeated. “It’s like you said… why would you lie?”

“You believe that I’m Y/N?” Your voice raised an octave or two higher, to which San shot you a warning look and glanced behind him as a precaution. If anybody heard or saw either of you, the captain would have his head. “Why?”

Hope was a dangerous thing. It muddled your brain and clouded your consciousness, blurring the lines between reality and fantasy. So you looked upon the pink-haired pirate dubiously, furrowing your eyebrows.

“I might be the most gullible man out there,” San snorted, raising a hand to rub against the back of his neck. “You kinda fit the description in all the stories and legends. And you don’t look like you’re lying… I don’t know… it must be the fairy blood in me. My mother always knew when I was lying or telling the truth. She used to tell me that good people only truly lie when they want to protect others. But… you don’t have anybody here to protect. Not anymore, anyways.” There was a guilty, remorseful sort of look that flooded his face.

You were so relieved that you could’ve burst into tears right then and there.

“And… that man the others threw overboard… he kept saying your name. You might’ve had reason to lie to us, but he didn’t. Especially not then.” San spoke gently in a low tone, as if he were speaking to a frightened child. Something painful twisted in your stomach at his words. “So… yes, Y/N, I believe you.”

Then he leaned forward and quickly swiped his cool thumb over your damp cheek. You only then realized that you were crying again, flinching away from his touch at first, before relaxing your tensed muscles.

“Thank you,” was the only thing you could properly croak out. There were so many things you wanted to tell him. Help me. Let me out. Bring Wooyoung back. Take me away from here. Why are you helping me? What are you doing here?

Although none of your erratic thoughts were heard, you sagged in relief when he said, “I’ll try to talk to the captain about making a stop in Virelis.” As a tentative afterthought, he added, “I’m sorry about your friend.”

“I loved him,” You croaked out, surprising even yourself. “I didn’t know that I did.”

San flashed you a sad smile, “Some people never realize. You’re lucky that you did.” Then, he murmured after gesturing to your bloody hands and wrists, “I’m also sorry about them hurting you. I have a special coconut extract lotion that treats wounds and burns very well. I’ll try to sneak up something for you to eat, as well. We’ll have to wait until it’s completely dark, though.”

You had so much to tell him, so much to ask, so much to thank him for. The fairy-man rotated on the stub of his heel to walk away, and you whispered out, “San!” He glanced back at you with a curious expression, and you nodded your head, sincerely grateful, “Thank you.” The questions could wait, you supposed.

A smile so wide spread across his lips that his eyes almost disappeared. Around savage pirates practically all his life, he rarely ever heard those two strangely comforting words. He dipped his head politely and walked away, leaving you to your own overwhelming thoughts.

Sleep had taken you under its dark wing a little while after San left, however fitful and sporadic. Your head pounded as your swollen and aching eyes fluttered open, somewhat surprised to see that it was still dark. Where was San?

Then, as your consciousness shook away the foggy webs of sleep, your brain registered a faint singing voice. However, it wasn’t just any rotten pirates’ singing voice; it sounded as if a woman was wailing, but in the most beautiful way possible. The trembling vocal chords pierced through the night sky, high-pitched and ringing in your ears melodically. It was a song in a language you couldn’t understand, but the warbled words molded together sounded pure and whole, just about placing you under a trance. But of course, you were still quite dazed and confused from slumber, unable to clearly hear the singing voices. On top of that, the water seemed to be extra loud, splashes and waves thundering against the boat almost every five seconds.

Tired, you rolled your stiff neck. Strangely, you noticed that the deck in front of you was void of any pirates. Glancing to the side, there was not a single soul to be seen manning the navigational wheel. Your neck ached as you craned it to look upwards, squinting at the crows’ nest, just to see that it was equally empty. Where are they? you thought absent-mindedly.

The singing was getting louder, and you had to physically shake your head to get your mind out of the gutters. The ropes strained against the skin of your raw wrists even more when you shifted to look behind you.

The sight that you were met with had you reeling against the mast in panic.

Sirens. Dozens of them, sitting on moldy rocky ledges jutting out of the ocean waters. They were beautiful creatures, smooth skins tainted a faint green and shimmery silver hair just long enough to drape wetly over their breasts. They bore seductive expressions and parted their full lips to croon out the mesmerizing song in unison.

And the splashing against the boat? With a choked gasp of horror, the undisputed mystery of where all the pirates had gone was answered. One by one, they were marching off the planks, plummeting into the salty ocean waters, swimming as if their life depended on it, closer and closer to the beckoning sirens. They all held entranced expressions, some with gaping mouths and others with fully blown pupils of adoration and lust.

The sirens were far enough where you weren’t fully under influence, but much too close to be clear of mind. You had to count yourself lucky for being female; it was known that sirens had stronger effects on men. But you didn’t have much time to spare.

You suddenly became short of breath in panic. Where was San? Had he already jumped off? Blowing out a shuddering sigh, your neck trembled with great effort as you angled yourself to look back again. It was easy to spot his brightly-colored mane, the pink starkly bright in the moonlight.

“SAN!” You screamed to the best of your abilities, voice scratchy from your previous slumber. For a second, the fairy-man seemed to twitch slightly into your direction. A particularly high-pitched note echoed across the waters, just about slicing through any hesitation San might’ve held. Just like that, he turned completely away from you with a stupefied look, before hopping off the ship and plunging into the ocean.

A scream of protest ripped through your throat. There was no time to think… you could already feel their lulling voices numb the corners of your mind…

No. No, I have to get out of this.

With a quick glance back, a flare of hope ignited somewhere within your chest when you spotted a dagger just behind you, buried in the fraying wood of a grog barrel. Its handle was jutting out in your direction, the crooked blade void of rust and gleaming with reflected moonlight. Excruciating pain shot through your right arm as you twisted your wrist about, desperate to be freed of the knot. The hardest part was getting your hand through the tight loophole, groaning at the throbbing sensation.

After frantically yanking yourself upwards, you managed to wrench your right wrist free, covered with blood and scratches and blisters. Then, with no time to spare, you reached as far as you could behind you, towards the barrel. Your bones ached and cracked under the strain, but you pushed through with gritted teeth. Tears ran down your twisted features from the pain. With a final shriek, you lunged and wrapped your blood-slicken fingers around the hilt. The sick sound of your left shoulder popping had you screaming in pained misery, but there was no time to lament. You’d fix it up later.

It took little effort to extract the blade out of the rotting wood. You prayed not to drop the dagger as your hand trembled ruthlessly. Swallowing dryly, you raised the blade to your left wrist, and began hacking away at the ropes.

They were tough, coarse things, but gave way eventually, unraveling with each strand. You didn’t even have to cut through the whole thing until it was weak enough to break on its own.

You were free.

The sirens’ song grew louder and louder, and frantically, you wobbled away from the mast and to the side of the ship, steadying your shaking legs against the rail. Every fibre of your being screamed at you to stop and jump into the water, swim to the beautiful melody that came from just over there…

“No!” You managed to moan out. Your left arm was completely useless; you weren’t able to move the limb at all. The tearing of your shirt as you somehow managed to rip off the sleeve rang in your muddled head alongside the foreign words quavering through the air. You used the dagger to slice the cloth in half, and shoved each piece into your ears. It was disgusting and uncomfortable, but it would have to suffice. The sirens’ voices sounded little other than muffled hums, and though you had to stay cautious, you could already feel your mind clear tremendously.

The last of the pirates had just clambered off the side. You would’ve heard the large splash he made as he cannon-balled into the waters if it weren’t for your make-shift ear plugs.

You were tired. You were thirsty, aching, sleepy, and just about every other bad feeling one could possibly have. Unfortunately, the ship was still heading right towards the sirens, no doubt turned off-course by a crewmate heavily under their influence.

And so, you dragged your heavy limbs over to the navigational wheel, letting out a soft tormented wince when the small act of curling your quaking fingers around the wooden spokes were enough to send what felt like great electric shocks of pain up your spine. Then, you spun the wheel one-handed, over and over and over again until the massive beauty of a ship leaned away from the sirens (who were clearly enraged, hissing and baring their sharp teeth), silkily gliding over the waters. Warm ocean air billowed into your face and tousled your hair, and for the first time since you’ve gotten onto the ship, you didn’t feel like throwing up.

A part of you felt bad for leaving San, the only pirate to show you even just a morsel of empathy. Who knows, maybe he’d survive. He was half fairy, after all. You muttered out a soft soft wish of good luck for the pink-haired man, though you doubted that would do much.

Your mind was quick to leap from the fate of San to a man who’s been in your life for much longer. Where would you be if it weren’t for him?

Wooyoung wasn’t one to just… give up like that. He couldn’t be dead. Perhaps you were being a fool for holding onto hope, but you would gladly welcome that title if there was even the slightest chance that he was still out there, alive and breathing.

And so, you steeled your nerves by drawing in a grand breath. Your lips settled in a firm, determined line.

You were going to go find Wooyoung.

Where were you to start?

Dozens and dozens of maps and scrolls were tossed about as you pillaged through the papers, in search of a chart that would actually be of use to you. Much to your dismay, there weren’t any maps whatsoever that held the directions to Virelis. There goes that plan down the drain. Where else was there to go?

The sling that held up your left arm was procured hastily from the medbay after you popped your dislocated shoulder back into its socket with a quailing shriek. The pain had faded into a dull ache, but at least now you could wiggle your fingers. That was a good sign, you supposed. Your stomach was full with what you could find in their kitchen pantries (which was mostly just stale biscuits and half-cooked fish), and to be honest, you felt better than you have in a long, long time, despite the circumstances.

There was still the problem of finding him, though. If you could recall correctly, you were only around a days’ sail away from where they had kicked Wooyoung off.

But that would mean turning back to Cerulea. And that… definitely didn’t sound smart. You rubbed your fingers against your throbbing temple, taking a long swig of refreshing water from a pitcher. Gentle light was filtering in through the small circular window, illuminating the yellowed maps in such a way to make them look golden. There was no time to appreciate the simple beauty of this, however, because a stupid, moronishly foolish, plan was forming in your head.

What if you went back to Cerulea? Would Wooyoung be waiting for you there? Maybe he was staying with Yunho while he got back on his feet. After all, it’s not like he could swim all the way to Virelis, especially with how injured he was. Cerulea was a much closer, safer plan. It was the only place he could go, right?

Unease twisted your stomach at the thought of going back to the country that locked you in a dark dungeon for moons upon moons upon moons. Deep down inside, you knew that no part of Wooyoung would ever willingly go back to Cerulea. Not after all he went through trying to get out. But what else were you to do? And even if he weren’t there, at least you’d be able to inform Yunho on what happened. Then the sweet giant of a man could help you find him.

You stood up, compasses and maps slipping off your lap, respectively clanging and fluttering towards the ground noisily. With large, determined strides, you exited the navigational room and to the main deck, where the steering wheel was situated. Warm, salty breeze whispered against your ears, calm and encouraging.

“I’ll find you, Wooyoung,” Your words were swiftly stolen by the wind. You hoped that gale would be kind enough to carry the message over to him, however impossible it was.

Halfway across the world, laid an unconscious dark-haired man, clad in nothing save for his smallclothes and bandages tightly wrapped around his skull. He was situated stiffly atop a narrow bed, scars and bruises still quite fresh and clearly visible against his paler-than-usual skin.

Wooyoung awoke with a startled choke of a gasp, sore eyes flying wide open. There was a searing pain in his abdomen as he sat up, wheezing and hissing in agony. He took in his surroundings with a panicked demeanor, gaze landing on the mildly surprised fair-headed figure with striking green eyes standing by the doorway, fresh bandages in his palms. He’s an elf, Wooyoung realized after a long moment of gaping, noticing the ever-so-slightly pointed ears poking out beneath silvery locks and the infamous nature-woven clothes only elves wore.

“Took you long enough,” He said in a thick Elvish accent, followed by a beguiling snort. “I thought you would stay asleep forever. I’m Yeosang.”

Wooyoung blinked sluggishly once, twice, and a third and fourth time for good measure. He knew very well that he should probably answer. After all, elves were widely known to be an easily offended kind. But for the love of everything he held dear, he just couldn’t seem to crack his lips open.

The two stared at each other awkwardly for a second more. Then promptly, his eyes rolled into the back of his skull as his upper half crumpled onto the bed, instantaneously returning into the sweet relief of unconsciousness.

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morkleemelon · 4 years

Text

off the ice || chapter 2: heading in

previous || m.list || playlist || next

pairing: college hockey player! mark x college figure skater! reader

genre: fluff, humor, sports au, college au

warnings: swearing

word count: 7k

"And we can see here in the figure that the data currently suggests-"

Your pen flies across the notebook page, desperately trying to capture everything your economics professor said in multicolor vigor. Jotting down the figure frantically, your eyes dart back and forth between the powerpoint screen and your paper, high ponytail bouncing up and down from the motion.

Being on scholarship means that you can never let your grades fall past a certain point or else they'd give the money to someone else. As harsh as it is, without the financial aid, you would not be able to continue to go to school. One of the only things that motivates you to work harder than your sleeping peers, sometimes, is the looming fear of becoming a jobless dropout, never able to achieve your dreams.

In a lot of ways, not having money is already bad enough, but the thought of not even being able to earn it in the future is even worse.

"Does anyone know how this company should manage production costs?," your professor asks the crowd of tired students.

You immediately shoot your hand in the air. You know it. This answer was in the textbook reading last night it's-

"Yes" Your professor points behind you.

You slowly set your hand down, disappointed, turning around to see who could've raised their hand before you did.

"They should modernize their marketing efforts with more affordable tools and focus on reducing supply costs," the boy answers expertly.

That's exactly what I was going to say.

Examining his face a little more, something about him seems a little familiar, but you can't quite put your finger on it. Looking around at who he was sitting with, you begin to piece it together.

"He must be one of the Lee's if he's sitting between Ten and Jeno" you ponder to yourself, taking one final look at the boy, "is he... Haechan?". Thinking back to last spring, one of your teammates had a huge crush on the one called 'Haechan'. She always gushed about his fluffy brown hair, handsome face, and how he asked to borrow her biology notes once. You weren't exactly well versed with the university's popular people and honestly, the fact that this school has an 'F4' called "the Lees" is pretty funny to you.

This boy's hair is blonde, though, brushed down into a fringe and slightly messy from, you're assuming, taking off the hood of his sweatshirt before class. Glancing down, you take notice of the mess of white bandages wrapped around his knuckles.

Right, they just had a hockey game. He doesn't have brown hair so this must be-

"That's exactly right, Mark. Nicely done" the professor praises.

Mark. You note the name to yourself, turning back to the board as the professor continues with the lecture.

"Dude she's looking at you," Ten whisper-yells to his younger friend, nudging him sharply in the ribs.

Mark doesn't dare look down at you yet, already feeling his cheeks grow warmer with each passing second. He feels your gaze pull away from him and finally frees the breath he was previously holding captive. Shoving back at the senior boy, his gaze flutters back to you like it usually does during this class, however much to his strong denial.

You always sit in the first row, colored pens and highlighters arranged neatly upon your favorite desk.

Mark watches the way your hair bobs back and forth as you move your head with keen eyes. The delicate gold glint of a necklace clasp at the nape of your neck fascinates the junior boy's attention more than the mundane lecture ever could.

Spotting the slight smile on the older boy's face and the direction of his gaze, Jeno laughs quietly to himself, happy that something interesting is finally happening during the boring lesson. Leaning over behind Mark's back, he gives Ten a silent high five.

"You're a simp" Jeno whispers in Mark's ear, eager to provoke him. Mark slaps the blue-haired boy's face away.

"Fuck off," Mark whispers harshly back as Jeno and Ten laugh to themselves in the lecture hall. He habitually glances back to your focused form. And this is nothing short of how class usually goes for them: Mark fawns over you 'secretly' whilst you haven't the slightest clue. On either side, his friends tease him endlessly for it.

"Yuna and I are planning something for you guys," Ten persists.

Mark's eyebrows scrunch in confusion at the older's ominous words. The professor's voice drones on in the background as his attention shifts to Ten.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't worry about it, man". Ten smirks, smacking a firm hand on the confused boy's shoulder.

"Don't do anything weird," Mark warns, recalling the time when the senior had planned on starting a fist fight outside of your dorm building last semester in hopes to gain your attention and provide an excuse for Mark to talk to you. Although the thought was there, no it wasn't.

The hour ticks by and exhausted students groan in relief as the professor wraps up the stale lesson on fundamental economics. A mass shuffle of notebook pages flipping closed and backpacks zipping up fills the hall as students make their way out, eager to do anything but be there.

The Lee's always gather for lunch at this time at the basketball courts, attracting an impressive crowd of envious guys and adoring girls at the sidelines. Although the place is fairly beaten down and otherwise unimpressive, the Lee's choose to be there which consequently deems the courts the coolest lunch spot on campus.

Putting his things away into his trusty black Jansport bag, Mark gets ready to head down to the courts to meet up with Haechan like they always do until he feels a hand unexpectedly grip his left shoulder, stopping him in his tracks.

"Some people are gonna join us for lunch today," Ten discloses casually, keeping his gaze forward as the line of students in front of them slowly file their way out of the crowded room.

"Oh, who?" Mark questions. It's not like it's rare for other people come hang out with them, in fact, it's almost always the case. But the fact that Ten is specifically telling him beforehand feels suspicious. Another strong hand grips his other shoulder as Jeno's navy blue hair comes into view.

"Don't worry about it man. You got meal points left for this week? Lend me some," the younger boy expertly diverts.

"Yeah..."

"Let's hurry though, Haechan is probably there waiting already. I told the brat to get food for us early today". Ten ushers Mark forward and pushes his way through the herd of people.

"Aight," Mark sighs in confused defeat, picking up his pace to keep up with the senior. There's definitely something weird going on, but he doesn't have the energy to pry further.

Then again, has he ever lived a day where his friends aren't doing some sort of weird shit?

"Thank you, professor," you smile and bow politely.

"Thank you, y/n, enjoy the rest of your day," the older man smiles back, waving you off as he packs up his lecture notes. It's small things like this that you always make sure to do to make others' lives a little better.

After all, the best thing to give-better than any monetary gift- is kindness. Right?

Your phone buzzes in the back pocket of your frayed denim shorts and you reach to check the notification.

Der sum hoez in this houz:

Yuna: guys!! Let's grab lunch somewhere new today! :DD

Hope: yassss ;););)

You: oh why? The caf has chicken nuggets today :(

This is definitely suspicious -you, Yuna, and your other friends, Lisa and Hope, always ate together at the round table in the university's better dining hall nicknamed "the caf". It's been your unbroken tradition since freshman year and the lunch lady at the caf even likes you enough to give you extra servings sometimes.

Yuna: we can still have the nuggets but Ten knows a cool place we can sit! He says he already got the food so we don't have to pay today ;)

Free food?

Your inner Mr.Krabs reveals himself as you perk immediately at the mention of her boyfriend paying for lunch. Neither guilt nor modesty had time to catch up as your thumbs rush to type a speedy reply.

You: I'm there. Where at?

Yuna: I'm coming to your classroom rn! We can walk together

Lisa: Hope and I are coming from bio :) excited

You: lol why does everyone know but me

You: is it gonna be weird with us third wheeling you yuna?

You: if y'all start kissy kissy touchy touchy I might puke just saying

Yuna: HAHAHA XD

Yuna: don't worry some of ten's friends might be there too

Oh. To be honest, you're caught off guard at your best friend's last message. Ten has been over to your shared dorm a few times and you've exchanged enough awkward greetings to call him an acquaintance at least. But generally, his friend group and yours stay separate.

Not that there is any actual beef there, but, no pun intended, nobody's tried to break the ice yet.

Closing the group chat as you reach the entrance of the economics building, you hold a hand up to block the glaring rays of summer sun from your eyes. The sudden brightness harshly contrasts the musty dark of the lecture hall, making you squint in discomfort.

"Y/n!" a familiar voice calls out. A flash of platinum blonde hair and Chanel perfume filled your senses as Yuna throws your smaller body into a crushing, sweaty hug.

"EWw!" you yelp, shoving the taller girl away from you half-playfully, catching the attention of a few concerned passer-bys.

You nod your head at them in a shy apology.

Yuna, seriously.

The guilty party laughs, the musical sound travelling through the humid air like a refreshing breeze. Your best friend sticks out her elbow for you to link your arm through.

Eyeing her with short-lived contempt, your lips break into a smile as you slip your forearm around hers, unable to be actually mad at your best friend.

"Where are we going?" you ask.

"You'll see. It's Ten's spot"

"Hi-his spot?!" You stop in your tracks, wondering why you were going to eat where Ten dealt weed.

Since when did he deal weed though?

"Not that kind of spot!," Yuna cries out, smacking a manicured hand over the top of her forehead as to not ruin her perfect foundation, "he's not like that!".

"Right good," you scoff.

The summer heat swelters as Yuna leads you down campus towards the sports center. It's early September and Seoul is notoriously hot.

Ice cream vendors with big, striped umbrellas litter the streets, calling out for business from sweaty pedestrians who crave a moment of sweet, cold relief. The sky tints a beautiful shade of blue with fluffy wisps of white clouds dotting its never-ending canvas. No matter how hot the weather is, the day is undeniably beautiful.

You don't ask Yuna more about where you're headed, accepting that your best friend likes to be spontaneous and that her boyfriend was paying for your food. This is more than enough for you to follow her down the sketchy alleyway shortcut to the basketball courts. Sometimes you wonder if you'd be really easy to kidnap...

The alley opens up to reveal a worn-out basketball court planted in the middle of a grassy area. Looking around, you noticed there are quite a few people there, most of them unfamiliar to you.

They scatter across the grass in groups, eating and chatting casually amongst their friends atop their patterned picnic blankets. You catch the gaze of a group of girls sitting at the edge of the court; they eye you up and down, taking you aback with their lack of subtlety.

Breaking the awkward eye-contact, you suddenly feel very out of place.

"Hey!" Yuna calls out, slipping her arm out of yours to wave at a group of people sitting at the other side of the court from the judgmental girls.

Her hand slips into yours, snapping you out of your uncomfortable dilemma, pulling you towards the group she waved to. A big willow tree stretches towards the sky and casts a precious spot of shade over the area. Immediately, you spot Hope and Lisa as they wave to you and you let out a breath of relief.

At least I'm not alone, maybe I won't be so awkward now.

You recognize Ten's face and you give him a smile and nod of acknowledgement. Scanning over the rest of the group carefully, you faintly recognize the other boys sitting under the tree.

The boy with the blue hair and the fitted white tee- that's Jeno.

Fluffy brown hair-definitely Haechan.

Your eyes flit to the next boy and you're taken aback when he's already staring at you. His ashy blonde fringe hair, almost grey, seems dearly familiar. His eyes widen before quickly looking away.

He's part of the Lee's... bandaged hands and that hair- that's Mark, the dude who stole your answer from earlier.

The little devil on your shoulder whispers to hold a small grudge. The little angel on the other argues that it was never your question and you shouldn't be so petty. Right, kindness is the best virtue. You will let it go.

You and Yuna reach the edge of their picnic blanket and your best friend immediately goes to sit by Ten who doesn't hesitate to pull her hips smoothly into his lap.

You look away in embarrassment. Good for her for finding love, but by golly are you painfully single.

Eyeing the space on the picnic blanket, Hope and Lisa are almost strategically sitting at the end chatting with Jeno so there is no reasonable way you could sit next to them. Setting down your bag awkwardly, you debate where you should sit, silently cursing at Hope and Lisa for not leaving a space for you. Maybe coming here was a mistake because you feel kind of left out-

"Oh, here," a small voice lets out. You look up to see Mark getting up and moving his stuff out of the way and clearing a space for you next to him.

"Ah, thank you!" You smile, kneeling down to sit in the empty space.

Thank God.

Glancing at his face, a blush even Maybelline would envy rests on his cheeks as his gaze remains glued to the food in his hands.

The first thing you notice is how handsome he is up close. You didn't get a good look at him in the lecture hall, but his face is a perfect mix of feminine and masculine beauty. His eyes are soft and round, but his jawline sharp and angled. The most chiseled cheekbones you've ever seen are handsomely defined under the mosaic of shadows and light created by the branches of the willow tree. A slight, shy smile graced his delicate, pink lips.

He's super cute. I take back everything I thought in lecture.

"Hey, welcome!," a sudden high-pitched voice rips your attention away from ogling the blonde boy. Turning your face, you see Haechan on your other side eagerly holding out a hand for you to shake. You take his hand and he shakes it vigorously, "I'm Haechan nice to meet you! What's your name?".

"I'm y/n," you reply with a smile. He's really outgoing, huh.

"Y/n what year are you?"

"Oh I'm a sophomore this year"

"Ayyy! Jeno and I are sophomores too," the friendly brunette slaps the other boy on the arm, "say hi, Jeno".

"Hey, I'm Jeno". He gives a heart-fluttering eye-smile and you could hear hushed gasps and coos ensue from the onlooking girls across the court.

"Hi, y/n," you respond shyly.

Dang, these guys are all so good-looking.

You always hear about the 'Lees' and their 'godly' visuals, but you never truly paid attention. Yet now that you're sitting with them at their cool-people-only hangout spot, you have no choice but to admit how exactly spot-on those descriptions were.

"Here, y/n" Haechan hands you a paper tray full of chicken nuggets.

"Nice! Thank you," you cheer, taking the food perhaps a little too excitedly. Working out and training nearly everyday means you're inevitably hungry most of the time. Not to mention, your stomach always rumbles at the sight of your all-time favorite food.

Digging into the free food reward, you turn back to Mark who hasn't said anything to you yet.

"What's your name?" you ask. Technically, you already know it, but you don't really know a better way to start a conversation.

Visibly surprised, Mark chokes on his chicken.

You let out a single note of laughter at his unexpected coughing before slapping a hand over your mouth to stop yourself.

"Are you okay?" you ask stupidly.

"Bruh," Haechan teases with a smirk, amused at his best friend's embarrassment.

Mark nods quickly with a hand covering his mouth as he continues coughing. Unsure of what to do, you reach over to pat him on the back firmly.

"Here, dude". Jeno tosses Mark a filled water bottle, the older boy accepting it gratefully, gulping down the water like his life depends on it (which it... actually does).

Gasping in relief as he sets the bottle down, Mark looks back at you with flushed cheeks and wet lips. You realize your hand is still on his back and you quickly snatch your hand away, suddenly flustered by the contact.

"I'm Mark," he finally answers, voice hoarse from the ordeal.

"Hi Mark, I'm y/n" you giggle.

He looks absolutely hilarious with water dribbling down his chin and cheeks as red as fire. There is something intensely endearing about him as he looks down, front teeth biting down on his bottom lip in embarrassment.

"What year are you?," you continue.

"Uh-I'm a Junior"

"Oh nice! What do you study?"

"Uh-business and sports management"

"Wow! Wait you're In Econ31 right?"

"Yeah I am," Mark smiles.

"I thought I recognized you! I'm in that class too," you exclaim. Usually, you aren't terribly sociable with people you just met, but there's something about the softness of his voice that makes him easy to talk to. That and the way he's just choked on a chicken nugget in front of you at your first meeting- you have little to nothing to lose.

"Oh yeah I-I've seen you around sometimes"

"Yeah we've seen you around sometimes," Ten calls out, a shit-eating grin plastered across his face. Yuna laughs and hits his chest in warning.

"Shut up!" Mark grabs a nugget from his tray and chucks it at the older boy. Like a slow-motion scene in a movie, Ten catches the piece of chicken between his teeth and flashes a wink back at the flustered junior.

You burst out in laughter at the interaction, slapping a hand onto your knee at the dumbfounded look on Mark's face.

Mark feels his heart clench at the sound of your bright laughter filling the air. You gasp with glee, one hand slapping your knee repeatedly and the other gripping your fork. Truth be told, he is freaking out inside. And this is not how he imagined you would meet.

All thoughts about Ten abandoned, a wide smile spreads back onto his face as his eyes scan across your laughing form. You sport a casual outfit consisting of a grey t-shirt and denim shorts like you usually do. A simple gold chain hangs from your neck, tucked away under the collar of your shirt. Up close, Mark feels even more drawn to you than ever before.

Beautiful as ever.

"I-I can't breathe," you wheeze, "what just happened?"

"My talent," Ten states, moving his arms from around Yuna's waist to hold them up in a 'well duh' shrug.

"Nah bro, it was a good throw from me," Mark cuts in, holding up a hand to stop the gloating boy.

"Nah bro, it was a good catch from me," Ten sasses back, moving Yuna off his lap to kneel up. You meet Yuna's eyes and you both hold back laughter at the ridiculous argument.

"Nah bro" Mark moves onto his knees as well.

"Nah bro's," Haechan suddenly interjects, "It was me. I have telepathy and I moved the chicken". Haechan promptly stands up and does a body wave, posing with a finger gun pointed over the slope of his nose to his forehead.

You laugh silently between the three boys who are suddenly all standing as they argue over who was responsible for the nugget trick. You had just met these guys a few minutes ago, but you're more confused and intrigued at them than you've ever been with anyone.

Look at you go, making new friends and everything!

"Guys..." Jeno tries, but his low voice isn't nearly loud enough to be heard over the chaos.

The boys point accusing fingers at each other like in a Renaissance painting. You scooch your way over to the other girls to get out of their way, bringing your food with you.

"You're dating..." You gesture your fork at Ten who was is caught in a three-way head lock with Mark and Haechan.

"Yeah". Yuna's face remains expressionless as she nonchalantly pops another piece of chicken into her mouth. After dating Ten for almost five months now, she is well aware of what the expression 'boys will be boys' really means.

"Are they always like this?" Hope asks, bewildered. Lisa just laughs on the side, enjoying the spontaneous fight more than she should. Jeno gives up, laying down to stare at the sky and wonder why his friends are like this.

Click

Your ears perk at strange noises coming from behind you. Turning around, you notice that several of the girls you saw earlier are now pulling large, fancy cameras out of their book bags. Baffled, you watch incredulously as they shamelessly snap photos of the tussling, oblivious boys.

"What the heck?," you gawk. You haven't been here but twenty minutes and it's already one surprise after the other.

"Tell me about it. Those weirdos are these guys' fans, the 'Lovelees' as they call themselves," Yuna explains, "You would not believe how crazy they can get. Remember when I had to put all my socials on private a few months ago? It's because they found out I was dating Ten".

"Right, I remember that" you nod your head sympathetically. Your eyes move between the unsuspecting boys and the audacious crowd of girls. Maybe you haven't known them for long, but the Lees seem like a regular group of guys. Admittedly, they are above average in the visual department (and in the strange department), but the existence of the Lovelees is really unnerving. Is it just you?

One particular girl at the forefront stares you down intently. Her hair is a mousy brown with two striking streaks of bright red down her bangs in a distasteful take on E-girl style hair. Too-light foundation is packed onto her skin and you winced internally at the severe creasing by her nose. Black eyebrows not matching her hair, her fake eyelashes bat at you threateningly.

"What's up with her?". You are genuinely confused. Why does she look like she wants to murder you?

"She's so scary," Hope's eyebrows knit in worry.

"Yeah, what's with her? She's staring at y/n," Lisa suddenly adds, attention turning to the concerning conversation.

"That's Hillary, the club president or something," Yuna confirms with a shudder, "she's super psycho about Mark. Definitely stay away from her".

"Gotcha... but why is she looking at me like that? Is it just me?"

Hillary's creepy stare never leaves your face and you feel chills run down your spine like a thousand invisible spiders. Generally speaking, you sometimes shy from even ordering food over the phone. Being under her flaming gaze makes you want to shrivel up like a raisin.

If someone could write a story about Seoul University campus life, you'd for sure be a background character. Attracting negative attention to yourself for no reason is surely a new feeling and unequivocally uncomfortable... perhaps because there is any attention on you at all?

"Well for one," Yuna smiles, poking an accusing finger into your side, "you seem to be getting along with these guys pretty well. Especially Mark". The blonde wiggles her perfectly threaded brows at you. Flustered, you shove a nugget in her mouth before she could say more.

"What are you even talking about, we literally just met". You fight to keep your voice steady and expression unaffected, but alas you can't stop the heat from spreading onto your unwilling cheeks. Admittedly, it's been a while since you've gone out with a guy. More honestly, you haven't really dated anyone since you came to campus last year. So needless to say, your single self is a little bit flustered to be thrown into the notion that you even have a chance to be with a super popular, charming guy like Mark.

You shake your head to clear the ridiculous thoughts.

Let's not err on the side of desperation today.

Peering back at the crazy fangirl who you now know as Hillary, you're relieved to find her piercing gaze has shifted from boring holes in your skull to her cell phone and she types away at lightning speed.

"I have a feeling that he likes you, y/n," Yuna presses. Hope and Lisa giggle and nod in agreement, exchanging knowing glances at each other.

You don't have ample time to ponder more as your attention is ripped away by the fighting boys. They've shifted from the shade of the willow tree to the basketball court, disregarding all onlookers and fighting like their lives depended on it.

"Let's go. Rooftop. Right now!" Haechan screeches, taking a leap at Ten while Mark struggles to hold him back.

"Fight me here, bro," Ten taunts, "we all know I'm built different". The sass in his voice gives Haechan the strength to break away from Mark's grasp and tackle the senior boy. All eyes glue to the two boys rolling around on the hot pavement, screaming.

"Yuna, can you-" Jeno starts, eyes closed as he lay on the blanket listening to his friends beat each other up.

"Yeah," Yuna gives the tired boy an apologetic pat on the knee. "Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul".

Her boyfriend's entire body immediately freezes at the sound of his full name. Letting Haechan go from his chokehold, Ten scurries back over to his spot on the picnic blanket to kneel by an unamused Yuna like a scolded dog. "I'm sorry".

You suppress another laugh. This... this is what the cool kids are like? You were really nervous for nothing. Mark shuffles back next to you, supporting a limping Haechan who insists he's fine.

"Sorry girls. They're not... actually no, they are usually like this," Jeno apologizes, "Hope we didn't scare you away".

"No, actually. I think you guys are really... funny. It's cool how comfortable you all are". You smile at the hockey players. Weird as they may be, you don't feel uncomfortable.

"She thinks you're cool!" Haechan cries, slapping Mark on the back.

"Shut up!" Mark smacks the back of the younger's head, ready for another fight already.

"But don't you guys think it's weird we haven't met earlier? We always see the hockey team around our practices but I think this is our first time officially talking," Hope suddenly points out the elephant in the room.

"Yeah I guess that's true," Haechan ponders, "to be honest, we didn't think you guys liked us very much... or let me rephrase that- we were kinda scared to approach you".

"YOU were scared to approach US," Lisa exclaims in shock, "did you forget that you four are, like, the most popular guys on campus or what?".

The four boys look amongst each other blankly. "No, but we thought...," Haechan starts.

"... that figure skaters hated hockey players," Mark finishes. Silent glances are exchanged between all parties as this new information is revealed.

At the sheer awkwardness of the situation, you decide to interrupt the silence with light laughter. "Why would we hate you?"

"You- agh," Haechan's reasoning is cut off by a sharp jab to the ribs from Mark. No way is he going to let the blabbermouth sophomore spoil that they stalked your Facebook last year and found your post.

"I mean you all seem really cool and," Mark saves, looking at you, "I'm really glad we got to meet you today. But we were just... intimidated before".

You raise an eyebrow and your eyes meet Yuna's, Hope's, and Lisa's who shared similar expressions.

"Babe, I'm intimidating?" Yuna asks her boyfriend, peering into his eyes. Ten promptly places a hand at the back of her neck and brings her in for a deep kiss. Everyone in the group groans in disapproval and you hope the sour expression on your face isn't too obvious. Why, Ten. Why.

"Uh.. ok then," you divert, "I was never a fan of hockey itself, to be frank. The sport, not the team. And maybe I've been annoyed at you guys for hogging the ice sometimes, but I've never ever hated you! Don't worry haha".

"Bro what?!" Haechan cries, "hockey is the greatest sport of all time! It's all about strategy, speed, strength, and skills. If anything, figure skating doesn't have a point".

You gasp in full-offense. Sure, you just gave your honest opinion on their sport and it was only fair that they give theirs, but that one burns. Before you can make your counterargument, the boy next to you beats you to it.

Tapping the back of his hand to Haechan's arm, Mark's next words made your heart skip a beat: "dude, you don't know what you're talking about," he turned to look into your eyes, "it's beautiful".

Mark's eyes are a deep brown color, you notice, and they sparkle gold in the light streaming past the branches of the willow tree. Softly, they peer into yours, bringing with them a rare kindness that pinches at your chest.

"Thank you" you smile at him. Is your face always this warm?

"Okayyy," Jeno finally opts to sit up, "now that we've determined that we don't hate each other and we're all cool, are we good to be friends?". A chorus of "Heck yeah"'s and "duh"'s filled the picnic area and your heart swells with happiness. You look back at Mark and smiled again.

New friends

"You should come eat with us here more often," Mark suggests to you, warm gaze making your heart strain for the hundredth time that afternoon. What is happening? "All of you should," he corrects, looking away shyly.

"Yeah we're here everyday," Ten adds. Looking down to Yuna who had laid her head in his lap, he stroked her hair lovingly. "You should come hang out with us whenever".

"I'd like that," you grin.

"Let's make a group chat. Everyone gimme your numbers," Haechan declares.

While the brunette went around collecting numbers, you chatted with Mark, wanting to get to know him more. You quickly find that he's so very endearing, blushing and fiddling with the bandages on his fingers at your every word. His words are kind and he listens to you thoughtfully when you speak. Talking to him is so easy, surprisingly easy, and you feel the conversation unfold out effortlessly. You hardly notice as the minutes of your lunch break tick to an end.

"That's crazy! There was this one time that-" the jarring sound of your phone alarm cuts you off. Scrambling for your phone, you tap on the screen desperately to shut it off.

"Sorry guys," you apologize, "Lisa, oh my goodness, it's time for us to go to Frankie's".

Lisa checks her own watch and gasps, "Oh gosh! We gotta go guys".

"Who's Frankie?" Mark questions, eyes slightly crestfallen.

"No," you laugh while picking up your bag, "Frankie's. The diner down the street next to the lake. We work there".

Haechan, Ten, and Jeno crack up silently at their sensitive friend.

"It was nice meeting you all!" you exclaim, "It was nice meeting you, Mark".

"Great meeting you, y/n. Hope to see you around," he waves back at you.

Bidding their goodbyes, you and Lisa make your way down the alley to her parked car.

"Y/n don't you think Mark is super into you?" Lisa says excitedly once the others are out of earshot.

"What are you saying!?" you proclaim, looking back to make sure the Lovelees aren't following you. Seeing the coast is clear, you consider your friend's accusation. So much has happened in the last 2 hours than in your year and a month at college, or your entire life honestly.

You walked into the alley with no guy friends and are leaving with four. Is it greedy to say that Mark really does stand out to you and you might be starting to like him, or are you just like every other girl who likes him too? The last thing you want is to be like Hillary.

"He's probably just friendly to everyone," you decide.

"No way, y/n, you good in the head? This dude only looking at you the whole time," Lisa retorts.

You shake your head in denial but thinking back, it could be true.

There it is again. That nervous, light feeling in your chest.

Oh, God. What if I like him?

Mark flops down on his bed, still not down from the high that he's been on all day. No, not that kind of high. Smile plastered on his face, he runs his fingers through his freshly washed hair, recounting your conversations from earlier.

"Dude, you look so stupid," Jeno walks into their shared room, shirtless from just getting out of the shower. A simple white towel wrapped around his lean torso is the only thing censoring the spectacular scene. Messing his hair with a second towel, he chucks the wet fabric at Mark's face.

"Fuck off," Mark swings it back at the sophomore. This year, he chose to live in a suit with the rest of the guys to save some money. Him and Jeno shared a room while Ten and Haechan occupied the other. It's undeniably small and only has one bathroom, but he is grateful he at least doesn't have to room with Haechan anymore.

Mark's phone buzzes with a notification on his nightstand. Propping himself up with his elbow, he checks to see who it's from.

1 new message from unknown

Mark sighs. If it's these crazy girls again he's going to get really annoyed. Today was a really good day and the last thing he wants is another stranger asking him to father her children.

Maybe: Yuna?: hey mark, it's Yuna. I got your number from the group chat! If you're not too busy I'd love to talk to you about a few things

Oh crap.

Suddenly nervous, Mark scrambles to sit up properly.

"Text from your new girlfriend?," Jeno taunts unknowingly.

"No, dickhead, it's Yuna," Mark rebuts, thinking hard about a good, casual reply.

"Oh, shit," Jeno states, taken aback. The sophomore swaggers onto his own bed, now sporting a pair of grey sweatpants and a fitted white t-shirt. The bare minimum makes him look like a poster boy every magazine photographer would clamber for. The man could put all models out of work if he had the heart for it. Fortunately, he only has the heart for hockey, video games, and pizza.

Mark: Hey Yuna! What's up?

Yuna: Hey :) nothing much! Not to freak you out, but I know all about your crush on y/n from Ten

Mark: ahaha... yeah I figured

Yuna: ok, so as her best friend and someone who cares about her a lot I just wanna put a few things out there

Yuna: is typing...

Mark watched as the three dots of the impending message taunted him. What could she be talking about? What if you have a boyfriend and Yuna's telling you to back off?

Yuna: if you're going to get close with her, you gotta make sure you keep her safe from those crazy fangirls. Y/N is a shy and sensitive girl she'll definitely take the hate to heart and if Hillary and those other crazy bitches come after her, I won't let you live

Hillary? Mark wracks his brain for any memory of a girl with that name. That girl from calc? No, that's Helen. Hillary...

An image of a mousy girl with red bangs comes into his mind. Ah yes, that's Hillary. She sends him love tweets and gave him chocolates for Valentine's Day.

Mark: I barely know Hillary and I'm pretty sure I've told her I'm not into her, but i'll make sure she knows. Yuna I'm serious about y/n

Yuna: as you should be! She's a real diamond in the rough and she's never confident in herself. All she does is work and study and practice. She never does anything for herself but she never complains either. Also, I don't wanna butt in too much, but I gotta you ask one thing

Mark: yeah ask away!

Yuna: y/n says today is the first time she met you but Ten says you've "been simping for like a year". Add it up for me?

Mark: It's kind of hard to explain... it like... do you believe in love at first sight?

Yuna: HA!!! You're too cute omg

Mark: It's like that but I never had the chance to talk to her... it never seemed right idk

Yuna: boy

Yuna: I had to force y/n to go to your game with me and Ten had to bribe Haechan to set up the picnic today early

Yuna: not to mention we made Hope and Jeno sit together even though they're both awkward just so y/n would have to sit next to you. you better make ur fucking move now

Mark curls his fingers into his blow-dried hair, letting out a low, stressed groan. He's gonna owe the guys big time.

Mark: I really appreciate it! :)))

Yuna: oh and one more thing

Mark: yeah?

Yuna: If you hurt her, I will gouge out your eyeballs and stick them up your ass and while you cry, I'll force feed you your own severed balls until you choke and die. Got it? :D

Holy fuck.

Mark: understood

Yuna: Yay!!! Approved :) good night mark! Nice getting to know you today!

Mark: same here. Night!

Mark's thumbs shake as he types out his final message. So this is what your friends are like, huh? It's such a contrast to your easy-going attitude. A smile spreads across his lips at the thought of you again.

Stretching up to shut off the lamp on his night stand, Mark tucks himself into bed. It's finally happening. You're here. You're right within his grasp. And he wants nothing more than to give you everything you need.

Mark contemplates Yuna's messages as he lay there in the dark; she said you aren't confident in yourself. This comes as a surprise to him. You're so beautiful, smart, kind, funny, and talented, the last thing he expected was that you didn't know it. You exude put-togetherness and wear elegance like a favorite sweater.

His eyes squeeze shut as Mark replays the first night he saw you in his mind. The image is engraved in his brain as he must have revisited that unintentional performance a thousand times.

This whole time, he never got to know you, but today he dipped his hand in the water. And he wanted so much more, to dive in completely and surround himself with you. All this time, he's only been on the sidelines.

I want her so bad

It's time to stop waiting around and get in the game. He's going to talk to you, walk you to class, make you feel special. So much time has already been wasted due to his own fears and misunderstandings. If it's confidence you need, it's confidence he will give you.

Wait for me, y/n, I'm gonna do it right this time

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yyxgin · 3 years

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no bar!! never fret about replying late. i know what it’s like to not want to talk to anyone. honestly. i won’t call it (my experience) a depressive episode bc one of my friends used to brush off me when i was saying things like i’m depressed and say ‘sad’ instead. like if i were to say ‘that made me/i am depressed’ she’d say something like ‘oh god same! like if it’s making you sad,, don’t do it.’ which is a v poor example of what she did but i never called it depressed after that bc she pissed me off n was disregarding of my feelings (even though she’s incredibly anxious herself) bc i didn’t get it officially diagnosed. idk if you’ve ever read about birth control pills but i always read on tumblr people calling them literal depression pills and i ignored it, thinking either 1) people were being dramatic / were over-dramatising it or 2) it wouldn’t happen to me anyway. it fucking happened and they were not being dramatic. i was never happy n always working on minimal sleep n making self depreciating jokes all the time bc it was the only way i could cope with my thoughts n constant mood swings. so what i’m trying to say is,, i know how it feels. if that’s any consolation. it’s not me trying to be ‘oh me too!’ or ‘mine was worse than you’ it’s just me being understanding n telling you it’s okay. also lemme at your friends!! i’ll stomp them out n get the barman to run them over for you!! they’re so mean to forget you!! i find that deciding i want to do something specific n then asking the appropriate people if they want to do saïd thing/place works for me. it can be a simple ‘we should do this, when are you free?’ helps. making it known that you want to do things helps. or aggressively remind them that it’s nice to be asked bc it means they thought of you even if you couldn’t go n tried to include you. or we can revisit me stomping them out w my beloved barman,,, whatever works best for you my dear <3

admittedly me and one of the girls were discussing that we are going to miss our manager. even though literally everyone moaned about her (i feel like it’s impossible to avoid in literally any job/situation) she did have her moments and she did a lot for the staff like after work-drinks, asking the chefs if we could order off of the customer menu instead of the staff menu or whatever they cook in bulk for everyone to take home in the evening. apparently she did this a lot more than the previous manager. she has a good heart but sometimes she ignored some of the girls when we ask for days off or our availability for the week which was very annoying of her. it could’ve been a lot worse, i suppose, but overall she wasn’t terrible.

thé lady who lives in my town and drops me given the chance, told me the other night that she used to be the duty manager. i asked her why she stopped and she explained that when they furloughed everyone they asked her to come back on like half pay or something? idk i just remember it being explained as they wanted her to come back sooner and take away her furlough so she said no and got demoted. but somehow she still gets some of the furlough? idk i have been taught that asking how much or discussing specifics of paychecks kind of thing is rude, growing up. she has been telling me they keep asking her to come back (now they’re asking her to be a supervisor since she declined the manager role) and she keeps saying no. i love her and want the best for her so i won’t say anything to anyone about the conversations me and her have had (i mean, apart from maybe my mum if i can remember, and you bc, let’s be real, you don’t know me and idk you) and she says they’re just difficult to work with as a management team. she even said our area manager isn’t impressed with our current assistant manager (who is currently the only person on an houred contract since our manager left) which shocked me since i personally think he is quite good considering he has a good relationship with the staff and kitchen (he’s thai so he can communicate with the kitchen better than most of the wait staff (some wait staff are thai but mostly not)) i think she doesn’t want to be the eldest person in management or she doesn’t want the age gap to be so big since she has a kid she can lecture at home, she doesn’t need to be looking after people at work, y’know?

also today, me and one of the girls were upstairs (two floors of the restaurant!) and it’s nearing 11pm and her brother (who also works there) comes up and asks us when we’re finishing (mostly her lol) but we had two tables just sitting talking amongst themselves so she just said idk. he was saying he wanted to go bc he’s tired etc n he’s driving n she was like it’s fine go home i’ll call an uber or something n he was refusing to leave her behind. (i feel like i brushed over the two tables sitting there but it must be noted they’re the only tables left in the entire restaurant and we were the only two wait staff still there, apart from her brother but he changed and was waiting downstairs). anyway, she was sweeping (i was cleaning the booth/sofa thingy chairs as it was a mundane task we could do to pass time and while she was sweeping by one of the tables thé boyfriend was whispering to his girlfriend saying ‘should we go?’ and the girlfriend said ‘why should i care?’ and the girl came over to tell me v quietly and i got so upset for her. bc she is literally the sweetest person on the earth and the only reason i didn’t go to ask the manager to see if i could go home with the lady who offers to take me (ex-duty manager lady!) was so she wasn’t alone up there. if i had been the one sweeping near that table i would’ve snapped so fucking hard at them. i mean, we’re 18 and have lives and sleep schedules, and we’re working until 11pm on a thursday before we even get home?? like i wouldn’t have minded staying if they were reasonable tables but after the gf said that i was like ‘shall i go get our stuff from the staff room?’ so i could split as fast as possible. in the end the temporary acting manager came up and told us we could finish and she kicked the tables out ten minutes later. i told her what the table saïd and she thought that was mean and unnecessary too. i was also worried about my sleep tonight since i have my first vaccine tomorrow morning. that’s why i was more pressed about what time i left work today. oh well.

im sorry for talking so much about work! sometimes i don’t have someone to talk to about it (at home) bc of my weird hours and sometimes i don’t like re-explaining things to my mum if she doesn’t get it the first seven times. sometimes it’s just a little too draining as she doesn’t understand since she’s a lifer at her job. it’s easier to explain to my dad but then i get a whole lecture on something that i ultimately have no control over n id rather just bitch w the girls at work but the problem is WE’RE AT WORK!!!

also i booked for my first tattoo!! i’m excited. it’s for next week,, which was super quick considering i was expecting to have to wait soooo much longer. i’ve been telling people about it and that it’s happening but i haven’t had the pleasure of telling people exactly where i got the idea from. bar, my dear, you know wheein’s new album, redd? well, it comes with loads of things, including these stickers (one for each song) and the one from springtime was just so perfect and when i saw it my first thought was, this would be a perfect tattoo. and so i am having it tattooed on my body. a subtle nod to kpop whilst also having something meaningful on my body. i also have just decided i want a small, minimalistic (or one-line art) rose on my sternum, kind of in the valley of my breasts, bc my nan was a rose. i like having her close to me. i recently got her necklace fixed which has left me feeling so incomplete after it broke in august last year. it’s been almost ten years and i think i’m long overdue something to remind me of her. i fiddle with my necklace when i’m nervous which is why i love it so much but incase it breaks again (i pray it doesn’t but i have a long life ahead of me) i would like her close still.

gosh there’s never enough space in my head to remember what i want to tell you so i’ll stop here for now since i should sleep to be able to wake up in time for my first jab. i’m scared but it’s whatever i’ll do it i suppose,, eeek 😨

ilyl ~ 🌻

thank you so much for opening up to me about this, it means a lot to me :( i am so sorry you had to go through this and honestly,, i really resonate with you. i feel like when i talk about my emotions and my sadness (dont know if its okay to call it depression either but yea), my friend either always either makes me feel like my emotions arent valid or she tells me she doesnt know how to help, which is frankly, why i dont talk about my emotions to people irl anymore. i dont open up and it takes me a long long time to do so if i ever do, because i tend to feel insecure/not safe :D so really, thank you for telling me and i hope you are doing better. your emotions are valid and i am always here for you

HAHAHA i mean i dont have many friends so theres not many to stomp on:( but i mean,, i get passive aggressive when i feel forgotten/left out so you best believe i told my friend how im feeling, but like uhhh it didnt do much. i spent the whole weekend at work and i was free on friday but my friend decided to ditch me and yeah. i havent been out in like two weeks now and i mean i am an introvert so i dont mind that much but even i want to socialise sometimes

aah i mean every manager has their flaws, no one’s perfect. my manager keeps calling me to go to work even though i was literally there for 11 hours on saturday AND sunday which means i worked for 20 hours in two days. and i work 20 hours a week at max. and i already worked some hours before the weekend so i think i have like 30 hours now and she keeps calling??? dude i need a break too,,i am so exhausted and tired of this shit :dd

oh i totally get what the lady that drops you off sometimes told you. i would feel a little iffy if i heard it too, but like,,,judge by your own experiences!! if you feel like something is off, you can always leave,, so i wouldn’t be so stressed about it.

why are people so rude ??? dude,,you should care, because we are all human. everyone has their needs and their lives and i bet he wouldnt like it if he was the one in your place. why should you stay there longer just because he didnt want to leave?? that was so unnecessary. people are weird beings and i learnt that after working with them this weekend,,,like i litereally got screamed at because i couldnt accept cash in different currency. like,,what tf do you want me to do?? i dont have every single currency with me so i could give u the change ?? tf ??

ALSO ITS OKAY TALK ABOUT YOUR WORK HOWEVER MUCH YOU WANT !!!! i also feel like i dont have anyone to talk to about work bc my parents dont listen to me as much as they used to these days and my friend unsurprisingly just doesnt care bc she doesnt work,, and i dont wanna talk to my internet friends abt it as much bc i feel annoying so i am glad us two can talk about these things together !!!!

YOUR FIRST TATTOOOO WHOAAAH thats so cool. i love tattoos hihi dfkja idk if u already had the appointment but tell me how it went after !! i wasnt able to find the sticker on the internet but im sure it looks hella pretty. also i love how it reminds you both of kpop and your grandma, its wonderful <3 i really want to get a tattoo one day,, and i also want something meaningful (not that i am hating on people that tattoo themselves just for fun and have no meaning behind their tattoos i just have commitment issues so i want something long lasting). alSO my crush (yes i have a crush now ew) has a tattoo and it looks like satan lowkey,,but apparently its a japanese something (i forgot the word oopsies) and it means jealousy, bad past and wisdom ?? i was like BOY IF U DONT??? fjdkla he has blue hair btw i am very much whipped but he also doesnt know me and i am older than him so this is embarrassing

ALSO I HOPE YOURE FEELING WELL AFTER GETTING THE VACCINE !!!

ily <333

#💌ask #🌻 anon

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bigdanteague3 · 3 years

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Lucy - Part 1

Its complicated. I didn’t understand it then and I don’t think I do now. This is the last girl. I was about 2 years into dating Emma and things had gone south. Emma was sexy AF. I loved her big ass, DD tits and the passion she fucked with. She absolutely had it going on. BUT....she was also completely unreasonably jealous. Like....we couldn’t watch a movie without her asking me if I thought the lead actress was pretty. Is....Heather Graham or whoever pretty? Like any leading actress in any movie has been unattractive. If I said yes, we never watched another movie with that person in it. So I would lie and say no...Salma Hayek is a dog. Alicia Silverstone is hideous. Whatever. It was so dumb. We also couldn’t go to anywhere in public without her accusing me of looking at some other girl. Like literally people walk by at a restaurant and if I even look in that direction briefly...I’m checking some girl out. It was exhausting keeping my eyes away from all people. So...I’m pretty miserable. I know when we break up its going to be very ugly. I don’t want to go through that. I also kinda like fucking her. By this point, I’m cheating on her with you every time I can find you. I had messed around with poky nipples 7up girl. Kimmy had given me super sloppy blowjobs every Wednesday in her panties the previous spring. Emma had a job that required her to live somewhere else on weekends and summers. That’s where I was that summer.

I had never really considered interracial dating. Did I ever think black girls were hot? Of course. 1991 Janet Jackson..damn. 1996 Toni Braxton You’re Making Me High video, double damn. Actresses, singers, celebs, one girl we went to high school with. Damn. I had flirtations...I had a kiss at a party before. I had Kimmy blowing me. But none of those were relationships.

I actually met Lucy at freshman orientation. Damn. We were in same group of 15 kids who hung out over a 2 day span. We had to go through all these get to know you exercises. Hometowns, activities, interests. We also had to give an animal nickname with same letter of first name. So she was Lucy Llama. Lucy Llama tickled my fancy immediately. She was just short and petite. Slim. Nice ass though. But it was her face and overall vibe that set it off. Beautiful face, bright eyes, smile. Like really wide Julia Roberts type smile that just fucking glowed and killed me. Soft full lips, dimples. She was from a small high school and she looked like she would’ve been homecoming queen, prom queen and head cheerleader. I found out later she was none of those 3...but she looked awesome. Did we make an immediate connection and make out that night? No. But we did talk...it was pretty much required lol. And I couldn’t stop looking at her. She seemed kinda shy, friendly. But not very outgoing. Nice, but reserved. She wouldn’t say too much but she was pretty funny...quick wit. Clever. Our group of 15 hung together from like noon-8pm. We all knew each other pretty well by the end of the day. Next morning, we had a few more things and then went home after lunch. I remember thinking about her smile after leaving.

When school started, I ended up having one class with her. It was one of those huge classes and she came in by herself and sat by herself. I was by myself. Didn’t know a soul. Next time that class met, I came in a little later, found her, waved and sat in seat next to her. She flashed that huge smile and was like...i am SO glad there’s someone here I know! So we sat next to each other the whole semester. Walked out together. Very innocent. I didn’t even really flirt because there were so many unknowns. Was she taken? Was I even her type? She dressed pretty modestly and seemed like a good girl? At the time she seemed more square than wild. It was an easy class but it turns out she was 4.0 type student. I found out she lived in a girls dorm and I think we were pretty good friends by the end of semester. But then the semester ended and I didn’t see her for a while. Over the next couple of years I would see her here and there and we would always stop and talk. I never saw her with a guy. I didn’t think about her a lot but she would stay in the back of my mind and it was always nice to bump into her.

So...that summer. We had douchebag neighbors next door move out. Thankfully. Hated those guys. Next door sat empty for a week or 2. And then...3 cars pull in and we hear the car doors shut. I assume its new neighbors and look out window. I see girls out there talking...which is better than boys. And is that....? Holy shit, it is! Lucy Llama is moving in next door? Should I go out there? I should right? Or should I play it cool? I go out there...Lucy Llama, hey! She had her car loaded down with all kinds of stuff. Clothes, tv, computer. I ask if they are moving in...yes. She introduces me to her friends. They were nice but not nearly as pretty. I offer to help them carry things in and take the heavier stuff up the stairs. Turns out Lucy Llama claimed the bedroom that shared a wall with me. She didn’t know that but I did. It was blazing hot that day. Their side hadn’t had AC running for 2 weeks. It had to have been 100+. We were all heavy sweating. I remember on one trip up noticing how short Lucy’s shorts were. I had never seen her in anything other than pants, sweaters, school clothes, etc. Her tight little legs and round butt in that heat? That definitely stands out from that day. We unload her Honda and I realize there’s no bed (not like she could’ve carried it in her car)....she says she has to go buy one and have it delivered and would have to sleep on the floor until then. No, I didn’t offer my bed. But I knocked on the wall and told her if she ever needed anything, I was on the other side of that wall. She was like, really? I said yeah, just knock. That’s my room. There were no curtains, sun was blazing in, it was so hot you could barely breathe but I can still see her flash that huge grin in that afternoon sunlight. I remember thinking it was a good sign that telling her my room was right there could get her to grin like that.

I found out later that she had always been interested in me but assumed I wouldn’t be into her. Pretty much exactly how I had felt. That should wouldn’t be interested in me and she was entirely out of my league. And despite me thinking she was this cool, glamorous homecoming queen girl with lots of boyfriends....she didn’t exactly have high self esteem. Or confidence. She didn’t think she was the least bit cute, attractive, whatever. She had boyfriends before obviously but she was just shy and insecure. But that was later. That hot, hot bedless day, I just looked at her in that sunlight and my crush really began right there in that room. I told her I would leave and let her get settled in....I was kinda flustered. She later said she was flustered that day too. Us together in a bedroom. I awkwardly said bye and left.

Had to get some background out of the way. It gets better.

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mxtchalilies · 3 years

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rimi chan! hi hi hi ‘m sorry for such rlly late reply! ahhh it’s alright, as long as you do take care and rest. i get that sometimes we just can’t help but rush things, i sometimes like that too (pls there’s nothing to be sorry at all lovely!). yes especially baji san’s death, the moebius arc already got me shock enough but soon relieved to know the draken lived,, but i DID NOT EXPECT BAJI ASDFGHJKL i thought he was gunna live 😭💔 watching tokyo revengers must have got me in tears for more than twice i swear — ToT (also u like mikey? ooo good taste 👍✨)

oh well, whatever projects they are, hope you’ll fin ‘em soon! yea rn for me half way thru first week of school already got me real busy and exhausted. for the last 2 days i got loads of work to do too (but i already fin ‘em now haha), so i agree. please lessen the work and projects on students. please we also need rest TwT and you’re welcome darling!

whaaaa thank you so so much sweetheart! okay so ah as i’ve said above on monday i got an art project — uh it’s a test actually, which the teacher give us one week to fin but for me who’s too lazy to procrastinate it away (only for me to be even more lazy 😂) i decided to do it right away which take me like 2 whole days + also having to or at least try to focus on classes and taking notes and stuff so yeah :// but luckily i finished all the work now! ‘m kinda proud with it tbh. and even tho my shoulders r still a bit sore, maybe from drawing too much or maybe bc of my earlier violin practice (if it’s about the back part my fingers hurt too lol) but they’ll be fine — anw again ‘m sorry for such late reply rimi! hope you can forgive me, pls have a luvly day or night as well!

[ SPOILERS FOR THE TOKYO REV ANIME !! ] : this gonna be a long answer; but if it's for bammie my beloved, i'll do it <333 (under the cut because again, it's long and i value yalls time <3)

bammie my dear don't feel guilty for late replies. i'd gladly wait for days for replies, i understand not everyone's free by the time i send something in and timezones differ :0 so really, i don't mind!! :D

my adrenaline and creativity all spike at different times and they're most often in the most inconvenient times ughh. notable mentions are when i get very nice fic ideas as i'm about to: sleep / enter classes / deliver speeches next / and answer a test. but then i don't have a single coherent thought when i actually get free time >:'(

baji's death has me crumbling and crying. from the moebius arc onwards, i have been anxious on my seat askjhfk. draken living is a huge relief but then the next arc baji dies and i just... i was not prepared for the emotional damage. i just wanna give them big ol' hugs and cry for them :( also yes mikey. i love everyone (ehem. except for kisaki.) but just wanna spoil mikey a tiny bit more <33

yikes, first week and you guys are exhausted already? the workload's not showing any mercy, huh? well, if anything, i'm really proud of you for working through all of it!! ◝(ᵔᵕᵔ)◜i'm sure you did well, but don't forget to take some breaks too!! (we definitely need a petition to decrease workload or give reasonable time to work on it ssob)

so you did a test for arts? :0 eek that's gonna be quite the work for your hands ! and having to add on the note-taking for class... aaa !! DD: well, i'm sure you did well though especially considering the time you allotted for it <3

you deciding to not procrastinate the work because you were lazy is both a mood and a powermove, haha! then again, it'd make sense to do everything as much as you can before resting so you won't have to worry later :0 it's also something i practice (mostly in studies... here... not so much, unfortunately) i remember you mentioned once somewhere you play the violin, yes! i also used to play the violin back when i was in elementary! :00 stopped because i decided to prioritize my sports though.

again, i don't mind with the late response dear! you're all good <333 have a pleasant day or eve too, bammie <333

#⛩️៹ %.・letters #tobibam.🏮₊˚.༄

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legggoes2qatar-blog · 7 years

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First Offshore Job!!

I went for my first job on March 6th and stayed offshore until May 8th when I got to go back to land for the casing break (after begging the company man to let me go to drink beer) then I returned to the rig for the last section May17-28th.

Here’s what I documented while offshore:

Day 1:

Arrived to the heliport at 5:30am. It is just like an airport but much smaller and no carry-on liquids limit! Watched a pre-boarding safety video, put on lifejackets and earplugs then loaded the helicopter. This was my first helicopter ride! I was surprised how gently the helicopter took off and landed, much more gentle than any airplane I’ve ridden. The platform we are working on for the next undetermined amount of time is smaller than I thought but from what I’ve gathered from other people this is a normal size except the accommodation is very, very small. I think the maximum number of people on here is around 200. I cannot see any land or buildings in the distance. However, it is quite hazy today. The water is a very pretty blue color and the waves today are bigger than I expected! Everyone has told me I will start hating all the blue soon but I am optimistic because blue is my favorite color. J

I am sharing a room with 3 coworkers. I am the only female on this rig. We share a bathroom with 2 other guys, 6 total. Due to the high capacity, there are no extra rooms to give me a private one but I don’t mind sharing so it’s a non-issue for me. Our room has bunk beds; I’m in one of the top bunks. There are curtains that go around the entire bed so you do have your own private area…kind of! The bed is comfortable except for the pillow, which is hard. There are constant PA announcements so it is not a little difficult to get a good night’s rest. The water depth here is only 12 meters so the waves don’t sway the rig, the drilling does. It feels like a small earthquake so I woke up twice confused because I wasn’t in California, haha! The food is very good! The water in the shower only stays hot for 2 minutes at a time so quick showers only.

So far I have enjoyed my first day offshore. The rig is still in set-up mode so we are looking at a possibility of not having anything to do for the next 3-7 days. I’m loving every second out here watching this operation!

Day 2:

We still have no internet. There is not much more we can do until we are granted access to the rig internet. After dinner, I got to go up to the rig floor and stand in the dog house (driller’s cabin) to watch them make up the Bottom Hole Assembly (BHA). We are starting a new well so the first section will be the conductor pipe; water table protector, largest hole size. The tools used to drill the conductor are huge. I’ve seen big bits before but never a hole opener! **Note to self: find picture of 36” hole opener to post** We should begin drilling tomorrow if all goes according to plan!

Day 3:

Still no internet—the struggle is real. We are able to call the base to talk to the Drilling Engineer and our Field Service Manager (FSM). Again, not much to do today. I learned a lot about running electrical cables and the sequence of the wires when using the crimping tool to change/add a head. We were supposed to start drilling today but it looks like we won’t start until early tomorrow morning. I am still enjoying myself. The SLB team that is with me is one other MWD Engineer and two Direction Drillers (DD). The DD’s are the age of my dad and the other MWD is 9 years older than me. All of them are very smart and funny. Hopefully, tomorrow we get internet so I can do some studying on the tools we are going to be running.

Day 5:

The mudloggers wouldn’t let us share their internet cable that runs from their unit, which is right next to ours, to the company man’s office in the accommodation and to the geologist’s office next to the accommodation. So, we had to run our own cable which required opening ceilings, drilling holes through walls and lots of zipties. It was a long process but, luckily, we have extra down time because there were some issues spudding the well. SLB won’t be running any of their MWD and directional tools until the 3rd section which was supposed to begin on the 10th of March but will likely happen around the 12th or 13th.

I don’t think I’ve mentioned how awesome the laundry service on offshore rigs are. You just put your dirty clothes outside your room and 3 hours later they’re back nice and clean. I think I would prefer staying offshore 24/7 if we got internet access. I’m still loving the ocean view!

Day 6:

I slept so good last night! Best sleep since being here. At breakfast, I convinced the kitchen staff to let me have some of the company man’s strawberries…early win for the day! They are running conductor pipe today so nothing to do for us. Still no internet access, which is real annoying. The mudloggers got their internet access yesterday. l won’t be able to access the internet from the accommodation, but I can in our unit. I didn’t properly prepare for coming offshore. I learned I should have brought less clothes and downloaded a lot more books, I guess not that many lessons lol! I am very appreciative of my co-workers, we laugh a lot and talk a lot.

I’ve been doing a lot of studying during all this downtime. I will be going to school sometime in June and July. By then, I will be very prepared. Most people do this schooling with no field experience and I will have 5 months field experience. Because I don’t have internet access, I only have the first two school’s information downloaded and I have gotten through that material so I’ve begun bugging our DD’s about their job. I got a lot of the DD school information from one so I can start looking through that.

Day 7:

Still no internet. In the accommodation room, on the 1st floor, there is a small collection of books so I won’t die of boredom after I finish the last 10 pages in the book I’m currently reading. I’ve also been collecting movies and TV shows from various people around the rig. I should have brought my big hard driver—another lesson learned.

This week has gone by fast. It is easy to lose track of the days. I’m excited to get to the section of the well where we start running our tools—it will be another big learning curve I am excited to learn but nervous about remembering everything in such a short time period. I will get to shadow during the 26’’ section and then be on my own for the rest of the well. Still not sure if they will keep me out here until Total Depth (TD).

Day 8:

We finally got internet access!!! We requested for 11 mac addresses to be granted internet access but they only gave us 4. So, to compensate we set up one of the laptops as a hotspot and now have wifi in the unit. But no one knows and no one should find out. It was so exciting to finally get on the internet and let everyone know I am okay. I had emails from people I wasn’t expecting and from people I wanted to contact to talk drilling stuff. The rig crew is installing to BOP so we aren’t neglecting work to play on the internet.

I was able to download two more books even though I already started a new book that I got from the Rec room. Progress is happening! I think I will be out here from at least another 2-3 weeks.

Day 9:

We are finally drilling. Still not running our tool so I have more time to prepare for my job. The other MWD out here with me is leaving to go back to land and they are sending a new MWD on loan from Algeria. I’ll be switching to night shift tomorrow, hopefully things will be calmer during the night shift and I won’t have to talk to so many people (company man/manager/town). J

Day 13:

Time is flying by! I can’t believe I’ve already been here for almost two full weeks! It feels like 5 days. Night shift is really relaxed, partly because we still haven’t run our tool downhole and partly because most people are sleeping so no one is bugging us for data. I miss the sun because I liked looking at the ocean and watching the waves. Today we had TWO drills. Went to bed at 7am, woke up for the first drill at 10am, went back to sleep for maybe 5 minutes and the second drill started. Thankfully, I was able to go back to sleep. I had worked a double the day/night before so sleep exhaustion helped to get back to sleep quickly!

The night DD is fun. He plays music and dances! He’s become like my second dad—very protective. He says he doesn’t like the other guys here asking about me and talking to me so whenever the driller calls for a survey print out I send Yuri up to deliver it. But if the company calls, I’m the one that’s sent. I’ve been put on a mission to figure out how the guys in the surface room are able to get on facebook when it’s blocked for the rest of us. My coworkers tell me I need to use my “woman power”. I just laugh. Disclaimer, no one has been rude to me, just Uncle Yuri looking out!

I’ve been assigned a mentor just 2 days ago. Turns out to be a Texas A&M alumn! I thought I escaped all the Aggies because I’m working in Qatar and not Texas! He’s been extremely helpful, kind and very intelligent. I’m very appreciative for all of his help and for all that he is teaching me! I need to figure out a way to thank him BIG for all he has done for me!

Day 19:

We have been on standby for 6 days now because of a bad cement job. I’ve been gathering 3-6 movies from people around the rig every day so my collection is getting pretty good. In the mornings I’ve been going up to the helideck to walk/run (running gets boring pretty quick without music and running in small circles). I especially enjoy watching the sun rise, it’s so beautiful over the water. Yesterday it was a really, pretty pink sunrise! I saw a big, brown sea turtle, first sea creature I’ve seen since coming here!

My normal schedule has become:

16:30-roll out of bed, throw on my coveralls, put on socks and crocs, brush teeth, head downstairs to the galley for dinner

17:30-walk into the unit, get the update for current operations and what happened during the day, joke around, get the latest rig gossip (yes boys gossip a lot!)

18:00-start shift

00:00-go to the galley (if operation permits) for some soup

5:00-6:00-go have breakfast

6:30-go to helideck (weather permitting) and walk/run

7:30-go take a shower

8:00-read until I fall asleep

REPEAT

Day 21:

The new joke in our unit has become “are you speaking English?” any time anyone has to ask “what”. It started because the other MWD from Algeria and the day DD from India have a really hard time understanding my English because of “my accent”. I also have a hard time understanding their English but we’re making it work. I’ve been learning some Hindi, French, Arabic, and Indonesian. Just a few words, mostly naughty words.

Day 23:

Today and yesterday have been long! We got H2S (hydrogen sulfide gas) at surface so we’ve had to muster for 5 hours total yesterday and so far 3 hours today. H2S is a toxic gas, smells bad at low concentrations but can’t be detected by smell at medium-high concentrations which makes it very dangerous. Our unit is located right above the shakers where H2S is usually located. Because I am working night shift, my sleep has been majorly disturbed. After waking us up throughout the day to stand at our muster stations with SCBAs on, when day shift went to bed they decided against having everyone muster and just have those working night shift to muster. So, us working night shift are getting screwed out of sleep. I’m ready to get this section over with!

Day 30:

We are experiencing problems with the well. We almost got to go home because it was going to take longer than a few days to remedy the issue but town called with a new plan that requires us to stay. I was looking forward to going back to land but I was also kind of bummed because I wanted to work with a Rotary Steerable System (RSS) that we are running in the next section. Right now it looks like I will be staying, you never know though, decisions are always made last minute!

The night DD working with me found some real coffee, not the instant nescafe crap! We don’t have a proper coffee machine nor do we have filters but in Indonesia they don’t make coffee the way we do in America. You scoop the ground coffee into your cup, add boiling water, stir, let it sit for ~5 minutes for all of the grounds to settle to the bottom and enjoy! It was a little weird at first but it’s totally worth having good coffee.

FINALLY BACK TO LAND!

As soon as I arrived on land, I dropped my bags off at the hotel, changed into normal clothes and met the Oil Installation Manager (OIM), rig superintendent and the mud engineer at a hotel bar to celebrate finishing the section. How good beer tastes after so long! After spend a couple of days in base testing tools and a few days sitting by the pool, I returned to the rig to finish drilling the well.

It was fun returning to people I knew. Drilling only took us about a week, the geologist called early TD because we hit water (not what you want when drilling for oil). One of the tools we ran in this run is brand new, only three in the world and two were on board with me. I was very nervous going into this run because I hadn’t run the older generation of this tool, never ran a LWD tool so I had to do a lot of studying and research to gain knowledge about the tool to be prepared for any issues during drilling. PLUS it was even more important for this run to go well because the tool is in the field test stage. Inshallah, all went really well and only took ONE run to finish! This was SO unlike the previous section where it took 9 runs to finish. It was such a happy feeling when TD was called. After all of the problems experienced throughout this well, I didn’t think we would actually finish it.

My first hitch offshore was great. Challenging yet rewarding. It was an experience I won’t soon forget! Now it’s time to prepare for school in RUSSIA!

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cbocstar · 5 years

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hiiii it’s me colly!

Hii it’s been a long while since I wrote out my thoughts on here. I just wanted to recollect and self reflect on some feelings i’ve been feeling lately. SO it all started in march when I noticed I was beginning to feel more of myself again. Like I just felt more of me. Like the sadness is yeah its still there and the betrayal i felt from craig is always going to be there i think. And the trauma and the anger I have for him of what he did to me and put me through will always be there. But I found myself finally feeling like ready? Ready to take a leap of faith and get myself back out there into the dating pool/pond. AND LET ME TELL YOU!!! It is so fucking exhausting. I hate the swiping. And I hate feeling writing my bio to the point where I feel like i’m selling a pitch to shark tank. LIKE SEELLLING MYSELF AND MY QUALITIES of what makes ME special or what someone will get out of when they date me. LOL idk it’s so hard. I think that’s another thing I need to work on. Loving myself. And taking ownership on yes I am weird, yes I am shy. But yes I am awesome and I am beautiful. It just takes time to see that. Anyway I was losing hope on these datin g apps when i would get bomboarded with dudes asking me questions on if I live at home, or if i live alone. And it made me self conscious like. Is it bad that I live at home with my mom? It’s so expensive to move out. Like I cant even afford living in the bay area if i did try and move out and find a roomie. LOL. I guess i feel ashamed, because of that. And whenever I would match with someone they would either unmatch themselves right away after i message them. or they just never replied. So it was kinda frustrating i guess. Like whats the point? Anyway my school friend and my brother suggested me to try out the dating app of Meetme. And LOL i was skeptical because of the amount of messages I would receive the first time I downloaded it. And So i tried it again. And I just got sooooooo many messages from dudes. And the ages just ranged from 18-21; 40-60 year olds. And It just made my stomach sink. I just I cant see myself dating someone that’s 40 and me being 27. Idk I just I cant. ESPECIALLY IF THEY ARE MESSAGING ME ASKING IF I WOULD LIKE TO TRY OUT LIMP DICK LMFAO?! HELLO? WHAT LOL or if i would like to be their substitution to viagra. creeper bye. And so it just made me really freaked out. And then at this time Steven messaged me and I was just cautious. But he made me laugh and he was the only one that was close to my age. So I felt like that was fine. But the overwhelming messages from 40-60 year olds creeping on my profile and asking me if i wanted to lick them or if i was interested in finding a daddy. Just I couldnt. So I decided to just delete my photos because ya girl just was creeped out at that point. And steven then messaged and asked me if I was quitting because he noticed I was removing my photos and i just explained to him and he was just really shocked. And i asked him if he ever experienced that on his end and he just said no. So I was just like LUCKY DUCK. Anyway, we talked more on the app of meetme messages. He made me laugh. I thought he was pretty charming and cute as well. He has a list of interests that is sooooo different from me which made me feel very insecure or uneasy. I’m not active and I have had bad experiences of camping and outdoors but I am always willing to try new things. And I feel like I just couldnt do long distance anymore. especially after the abuse I went through with craig and phillip. I just I can’t do that anymore. I need someone here for me physically. And steven is literally a few miles away so i was glad. SO we do have a shared interest which is anime c: and cute animals and food and books and gaming. And he asked me out on a date to go to Dave n Busters.

SO GUESS WHAT ya girl went to dave n busters. that was the first date. met him upstairs. I awkwardly walked over and gave him a hug while I shivered and we played a lot of games together. Then we had cheeese BURGERSS. There he let me have some of his beer which I took a few sips didnt enjoy it though. LOL and He just laughed. Then he mentioned about how there’s sea glass on the beach and how he wanted to show it to me. And I was just like uh i guess? I just have to be back at this time to get picked up. And he’s just like oh we will have time dont worry. SO I WENT IN HIS CAR (and my friend has shamed me for it lol saying how stupid i was to go in his car lol on the first date and how lucky i am to be alive and not killed and stuff) And I dont know It just didnt register in my head until I got to the beach so i did send my location to my best friend. so she knew where I was. even tho my girl is in texas and im in california LOl. so when we got to the beach we actually picked up sea glass and it just it felt like a movie. or something I read in books. It was soft and slow and I just felt safe. And we just huddled together as the wind pushed us together. And I asked to hold his hand and he just laughed exasperated and was like “OHMYGOD U DONT HAVE TO ASK just hold my hand its fine” and yeah so i got to hold his hand. After the date we talked on the phone and it just nice. Second date: Steven took me to the science museum playground for kids. It was so much fun we saw cute animals and interacted with the science experiments. There was a lot of sequin textures sensorys and it just was so nice. LOL he drew a lit hand sign while i tried to make an xD face, but failed. Then we were hungry so he took me to have poke (IT WAS MY FIRST TIME LOL) and it was delicious but i was kinda hungry still. After he took me to this old bookstore and we roamed the aisle looking at different books. Then he took me to his place where we shared our first kiss. I was really shy and scared but we took things slow and sat on his bed and cuddled. He was really upset when he found out that I never cuddled before. I didn't understand why he was upset but he just told me he felt sad that I never had that intimate connection. And at first I was bored but towards the last hour I felt really cozy and it just felt nice, the way his hands wrapped around my waist. I did get aroused which kinda freaked me out because I never really felt that sensation before. LOL so it made me really anxious. LIKE CALM DOWN COLLEENY. Third date: We did some shopping at TarzHay (target) lolol and daiso together. it felt nice. Then we went back to his place to have dinner. He shared his dinner with me and it was really good and after we cuddled and kissed and watched youtube videos together. And it just was really romantic. Fourth date: Went to a movie on a work night. we saw The saga of tanya the evil. And it was fun watching anime with him. And I was just soo shy i didnt hold his hand I just we just focused watching the movie together and enjoying each others company. Fifth date: went to fanime (anime convention) for the FIRST TIMEEE last saturday ( may 25, 2019) i met up with him there! I cosplayed as kiki from kiki’s delivery service. it was fun! So he was playing ddr well competing in the tournament. for a lil 3 hours ish. After we went to get something to drink so he bought me a drink...it was sweet but somewhat bitter but i did enjoy the sugar that was decorated coated around the rim of the glass. And i got hyper ish LOL And steven just laughed. But i let him finish it for me because I couldnt. Then we went to go walk to get food. in line there was a guy talking to him. And the guy asked us what we were and if we been here bfore. and steven said it was his first time not being alone. and i said it was my first time. and then I just stuttered and got shy because we havent discussed what we were to each other. Like we just only talked about us liking each other a lot. And how we both enjoyed each others company. So I replied with “we dd-d-d--dateing? We on a d ate. we dating. date. uh yeh uh” and then steven wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me in close to him and added “ yeah we are going steady.” AND OOOOOOO I BLUSHED SO HARDDDDDDDD. aaaa still blushing LOL Anyway lol food was delcious. i had a bento curry chicken box. Then we sat down and rested our feet in the hall and he took a nap on my thigh lol. it was cute and i just scratched his forehead bc i was too scare to scratch his head LOL. and then we watched the season 3 of attack on titan together and he held my hand and my arm and it just felt nice. I curled up against him and we just enjoyed watching 5 episodes together. Sixth date: today saturday june 1, 2019 is gonna be the sixth date. sooooo ILL JUST KEEP U POSTED On what we are gonna do. loool time for bed

#personal #ceerainrambles

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sumergosuigeneris · 6 years

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February 28, 2019 Part II

After all the years I’ve been in the work force, I still don’t know how to properly signal to someone that I don’t have time (or the inclination) for chitchat. I feel like I always come up brusque or rude or whatever. In this case, it’s someone who is a very chatty person, so if I see her I know she’s going to try to have a whole convo with me, work-related or not, regardless of my busyness-looking or not. I shouldn’t have made eye contact to begin with.

Payday. I really want to go out for lunch, even though I bought a ramen noodle cup last night. I did it. Got a med-type salad. Not as healthy as you’d think, but also extra expensive. Still, it was yummy.

It’s been so cold for so long that my face has these dry patches that dry up again immediately after putting on lotion. Not gonna lie, I could always drink more water.

Doctor Who and the two species that make up Jadzia Dax, et al have a lot in common.

At this going-away party. DeputyDog brings in one of his kids. She’s shy. I invite her to play foosball. And somehow end up the only person not playing. This is me to a tee.

The meeting with DD was fine. So fucking weird. He tells me this whole story about he’s frustrated b/c he wants to move - better (free) schools, more fun things to do - but his wife doesn’t want to commute. I totally get where they are both coming from. Then he talks about trying to get both his kids in a fancy private school (one is, one wasn’t), and how now that the second one got accepted, they can’t move. So fucking confusing. I thought they were literally, right now, debating moving, but apparently this all happened a while ago?? I don’t know. Then, we did some other work stuff. I don’t know. He’s confusing as fuck.

Anyway, it’s nice. A bunch of people kept asking me if I was going to this party thing. If they had been that welcoming when I first started.....I managed to converse a bit, even with people I strongly dislike. Chatty coworker might be ticked with me.

I’m exhausted. Even though I wasn’t the productive I needed to be, I was still productive. Picked up my prescriptions. I remembered to double-check them, which I would have done even without idiot working, but idiot was working. They still refilled them wrong! Their system doesn’t even flag that they double-filled the prescription they filled the other day - I would have had THREE bottles of the same pill (different strengths).Have to give idiot some credit. I still get confused over the different names for the same med, plus this med vs. the anxiety one, so he caught that they were the same pill. Got gas. Put air in my tires. I returned my late library book. Went to the grocery store. Remembered cat food. Bought a new wallet. Bought a new saute pan. Bought the potato chips my cancercoworker friend likes.

At work, I finished a stupid course for pm. Mostly didn’t pay attention bc it’s about a software package, and I think I need to practice that later. It was an almost 6 hr course, so it took a while. I also read a couple articles. What gets me is people thinking that people with anxiety or depression or whatever just need to get up and confront things, or they have these tricks, and I’m always amazed - you don’t think we try those fucking tricks ourselves? Before we even get bad? Like telling yourself you can get through something if you only can just get started. Or that you’ve done it before, you can do it again. Like no shit. That’s the problem - we’ve done it before, we’ve overcome before, and we’re still frightened and immobilized!

Feeling pretty lonely. Been thinking for a week or so about contacting a few people. But I have no desire to converse at all.

Tried to log in to my apartment account so I could see if I got my insurance refunds. I never signed up? But it won’t let me sign up - says incorrect email address??? So I thought, maybe I did already sign up. Checked- incorrect email address. Will have to talk to rental manager tomorrow.

Also, I ‘bought’ my bar crawl ticket.

And while cooking a fake-ass chicken soup, I did a little cleaning/looking for that damn birth control.

I’ve never understood why I wasn’t in the gifted group (a small group that would be pulled out for extra stuff) until I was in middle school. I was just as smart, capable, and accomplished as them in middle school and high school (putting my great life failures aside). Was it because I’m latina? There were a couple (at least one, my memory is foggy) black kids, so that doesn’t seem likely. Was it because there was a number limit, and they ranked me just after the cutoff? Was it because neither my mother nor anyone else advocated for me? Was it because of my social awkwardness? Was it because I really didn’t reach ‘gifted’ potential until middle school? I know my test scores improved from elementary to middle school. We didn’t really get tested in hs. I did end up being a national hispanic scholar runner up, so I did well on the psat. I think I might have done better if I had known the PSAT was more significant than just being practice for the SAT. I know they only counted the first time for those things. I can’t remember if it was the same for the SAT. I couldn’t afford to take it a second time, but maybe I could have done better and been a national merit scholar if the second time counted.

Anyway, I was embarrassingly attached to my teachers all through elementary and middle school. I am still filled with shame/embarrassment on my behalf. And I was embarrassed at the time but couldn’t stop myself. Or keep my secrets lol. I’m not the best at keeping my secrets now, but I’m better than childhood. I remember wondering even as a kid why they were soooo important to me. At the time, I didn’t really think things were that bad with my mother (it started in 8th grade as I recall), and certainly as a tiny tot she was my best friend.

The other thing, among a bazillion others, that I still wonder about. My fav in middle school, we were pretty tight, at the graduation dance called me a femme fatale. She assumed I knew what it meant. I looked it up after, and it’s (to the extent I investigated which was eh) sexual. So maybe she was misusing it?

Ugh childhood.

Looking forward to Got. Wondering how it will end. Hoping the characters who don’t deserve to be screwed over get satisfying endings.

Brown rice man. I don’t get it, and am not the biggest fan. I like it best when someone else is preparing it. Not sure what I do wrong. I added a bunch to the ‘soup’ I was making, and let it sit to cool down. When I went back to it, the rice had sucked up most of the liquid. So...the remainder tomorrow will be interesting.

I love how in 30rock, all the characters are kind of terrible. Liz’ family is very sketch, if the intimations of nazism are true. And Jack, the thing I was thinking is, Jack is actually a romantic. Always willing to give up everything for his love du jour. And it cracks me up that he spends all his tv time with their show, and not the dozens of other shows. Jane K is so talented and should have a bigger career than she does.

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opepin · 7 years

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nov: week one

06: i was not feeling motivated to work out this morning. my back ached and i was still sore from the massage and maybe a bit of whatever i did yesterday. kevin woke up early for work and i left to work out when he woke up. i did 30 minutes of cardio abs and kevin stopped by the yoga studio to say goodbye. (: then i got back, did a bit of work, showered, and made myself a smoothie for breakfast. we bought some sour patch kids + watermelon because it was 50% off at roche bros and now i want to eat them all the time but i feel like crap after i eat them lol. the sour and sweet makes my stomach feel real acidic. anyway, i snacked a bit and then snacked on edamame before eating lunch. i microwaved the leftover seafood pasta and finished off my shakshuka. i worked on creating training stuff today and then comcast had an outage lol. the website was real slow so i worked with it as best as possible. i could watch youtube videos just fine though o__o’ it got fixed after stand up ended and i finished up my training stuff and created a to-do list for tomorrow. i felt sluggish all day and wanted to nap.

i hopped into bed and ended up watching youtube videos until 5 pm and then i went to the yoga studio and did abs and a bit of cardio. i took a nice long shower when i got back and then made myself a smoothie. this peanut butter powder is nice and all because there’s less fat, but i don’t feel full after drinking my smoothie anymore. i might opt for real peanut butter in the morning and then powder after my evening workouts? hmm. anyway, after i drank my smoothie, i microwaved pulled chicken leftovers and made a english muffin with pulled chicken and leftover slaw for dinner. i still felt hungry but i made myself wait it out to see if i was actually hungry lol. i did eat a small square of chocolate though. then i spent the rest of the night watching anime :3 i watched 9 episodes (srs LOL) of season 2 of ‘kimi no todoke.’ i watched that much because i did not want to stop when the couple was still having misunderstandings. omg, i was so frustrated LOL. kevin got back at around 10:30 pm from his dinner with haoqi. he brought back leftover pulled pork and also got me banana pudding <333

i brushed and then hopped in bed with him while we just talked about our days and kind of future plans. i was pretty tired and he wanted to shower and eat dragon fruit lol. so i went to sleep. i woke up at some point to pee because i drank a lot of water before sleeping lol. i kind of scared kevin apparently ;P

07: man, i always wake up before my alarm rings nowadays. it’s not even consistent! i wake up at 7:15 am sometimes or 8 am sometimes, but i always wake up before it rings. -__-” sigh. well, i was wide awake before my alarm rang at 7;15 am today but i fell asleep and got up at 7:40 am. then i did some cardio hip hop because why not exercise the way you want to even if it’s not super intense? i’m backtracking on this whole doing hiit and weight lifting thing. it’s making me feel terrible. lol. i showered and then made myself a smoothie for breakfast. kevin was awake so i talked to him for a bit before heading out. no one was in the office on the product team side today. lol at least i’m in the office, right? the day went by fast then super slow. i wasn’t super busy during the day but i was pretty productive. i also managed to multitask and finish watching ‘kimi no todoke’ while working :DD this anime makes me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside. i stopped by cole and john’s office and we talked about staying up late because of gaming / anime LOL. then i went back to work.

everyone left at around 4 pm or before 5 pm. i was the last one in the office because i had a client call from 4 pm to 5 pm. it got so dark outside so quickly x__x; the call ended right at 5 pm so i packed up and then headed out. i met with kevin at the train station and then ‘moderate delays’ hit. so many people were lined up to get on the train... we waited about 30-40 minutes to finally get on a train and it was hella packed. our commute home took more than an hour @_@; when we got back, we received our food52 zwilling ceramic skillet! ahhh, it’s so nice! we chilled for a bit before both of us cooked dinner. then we watched two episodes of yakitate! japan and then ate delicious beef stroganoff while watching! the sour cream in the stroganoff is probably what made me gassy later on in the evening lol. anyway, i talked to my mom for a bit and then kevin played a game of dota with jon. i stretched while watching the latest episode of ‘jane the virgin’ and then i just assumed i wouldn’t be gaming with kevin because he was playing dota for a long time lmao.

oh, i also enrolled into my employer benefits and then chilled on the couch for the rest of the night. i got really tired for some reason? i went to bed pretty early at 11:30 pm. i think i watched a bit of youtube in bed before ko’ing at around 11:50 pm. oh, i was actually looking at instagram and getting negative thoughts and feelings about it so i stopped and just went to sleep. haha.

08: i tried doing a 1 hour leg work out again. i also included some glute activation moves before i even used weights. by the time i was done with my workout, i was exhausted D: i don’t know if i like this... we’ll see. i got back and then kevin left for work. then i cooled off with a smoothie and then i showered. i felt very unmotivated in the morning but eventually got to working on recreating the pdfs for training. then i ate lunch while watching ‘gamers.’ :D it’s an odd anime so far... then i got on stand up and phil gave me an urgent task. i worked on that for the rest of the work day. kevin came back early after he ate lunch and got his flu shot. he brought me back some bark thins <333 then he went to get a haircut. the day went by super quickly. i got my new cushioned bombas in the mail and i hope they don’t rip T__T we’ll seee... kevin and i continued working until the end of the day and then i watched ‘GAMERS!’ while doing some personal errands. i don’t think i like this anime... everything is a big misunderstanding @_@;

kevin went for a run and then showered. i made rice... or i thought i did. we realized i didn’t hit ‘cook’ when kevin was almost done cooking the curry. lol. i got hungry before we even made dinner so i chugged my protein powder with water. the cocoa flavor is better than the vanilla but still kinda grody to drink with just water. anyway, while kevin showered, i cut the carrots, potatoes, and onions. then he cooked and i continued relaxing and whatever. then we ate dunner while watching an episode of yakitate! japan and finally, we got to game with ryan and terence! we played gauntlet together after they troubleshooted their black screen :33 i got mad midway because everyone kept taking all the gold while i was killing things T^T i just continued killing things for the rest of the night lol. kevin comforted me and then we figured out that i did have a sort of dash but i wasn’t aware of it... i wouldn’t have gotten so angry if i knew i also could “dash” towards the gold. lmao, i’m so emotional when it comes to games and “unfairness.” shout out to my boyfriend for being so caring and understanding of my odd emotional ways when it comes to gaming <3 i super super super appreciate him so much T__T <3 after gaming, i went to sleep... well, i went on my phone and then went to sleep at 12:30 am. oops.

09: i decided to do my complete arm / back workout after work today. so i got up, drank my breakfast smoothie, changed, and then left for work. joe was in the office today and i guess that dave was still in new york. it was a pretty chill day. i had a few meetings but nothing stressful. i did some testing in the morning and then had lunch while watching an episode of ‘GAMERS!’ and then hopped into my calls for the rest of the day. i met up with cole at around 3 pm to get starbucks with him. i don’t usually get starbucks but i wanted to get something other than boba today. we walked over to the closest one and then ordered. he got an iced chai latte and i got the praline chestnut chai tea latte... or so i thought. they actually got my order wrong and gave me the coffee latte version, but it was too late to to tell them because cole got a text about PAX badges and we ran like crazy back to the office so he could get to his computer lmao. i was running with coffee in my hands x__x; we got back to his office and then he got into the queue on his computer. he was already in on his phone. he then realized that the PAX twitter notified everyone a few minutes earlier than the text so he knew he wasn’t going to get the 4-day badge. he frantically messaged his friends. cole kept saying this was the first time he was away from the computer when they announced badge sales. T___T i apologized profusely.

he ended up buying single day passes for each day :( but he calmed down after. with a bit of cole’s persuasion, i also bought PAX badges for saturday for me and kevin. it’ll be my first convention and i’m so excited! i’m ready for you, april! :P while cole was calming down, i took our new t7 member, edwin, to the 8th floor to get his badge. noelle didn’t put his name in the system yet so i picked up a package and then headed back down with him. he seems like a really cool and chill guy! he has a switch and wasn’t afraid to charge it in the room and he talked with us about conventions and stuff. :D ahh, i love the nerds in t7 ahah. i went back to the office to do a final check on imports and then i packed up. i was supposed to leave at 4 pm but then i felt like i needed to work on that before. i still ended up leaving at 4:30 pm with cole and edwin. the train wasn’t packed and i got home fairly quickly. i picked up my ae packages and then tried everything on. i think the hoodie is a bit too long but kevin helped me decide to keep it. i want the dark blue version as well so i’ll get that in a smaller size.

after trying on stuff, i got myself into the yoga studio and did an hour of arms and back. i could tell it wasn’t going to be my best performance. my chest presses always feel wrong lol and doing a good amount of them for an hour didn’t help my form. i ended my workout doing some lower back exercises and called it a day. i got back and showered and prepped the rice cakes for dinner and drank my protein smoothie. when kevin came back from climbing, i boiled the soup with the rice cakes, made each of us fried eggs with the new ceramic pan <3, and plated everything for dinner. we started watching game of thrones because we will be going to iceland in february and we kind of wanted to appreciate the location and its ties with the series? LOL. well, i watched the first season already so it was mainly kevin watching. he was half watching tbh. after dinner, we might have played a bit more gauntlet to grind for more $$ to get more upgrades and gear... and/or i watched ‘GAMERS!’ i finished the series and i was not impressed. i think i’m going to take a break from anime right now. i’ll continue watching my series though haha. i got sleepy pretty quickly so i hit the bed at like 12:30 am. zzz.

10: hello, fourth day of pto at home! i enjoyed sleeping in today, but it got to the point where i just felt really crappy about myself. i’ve been feeling mentally tired about exercising. i think it’s because i’m not feeling any better and not seeing much of a difference after adding in free weights to my workout. i just laid in bed with very indecisive thoughts. it doesn’t help that for a while now, i wake up bloated af and/or with stomach pain. i feel like i have a cleaner diet now but i don’t know :/ i just feel like the choices that i’ve made haven’t really been what i want or need right now. i’m not entirely sure. i managed to get my butt out of bed and stop thinking about these things for now and pick up the new kobenstyle casserole post we bought from food52. it’s very sleek and the right size for what we need. :)

to get myself out of the whole exercising pinch, i’ve decided to work out less so it doesn’t become a stressor in my life. it’s been stressing me out even though i wouldn’t put it that way if you had asked me in person. i do schedule my life around working out right now and i think my sleep has suffered because of that and not knowing what i want to do with my spare time. so i’m just going to work out when i feel like it and for less than an hour each day. i’ve been trying to hit an hour or more each day and with the stress i’m feeling, it’s not going to work out. it’s a bit frustrating talking to other people about this because i don’t think they think i work out hard enough and/or think i’m wimping out and/or i’m not doing it right. well, at least that’s what i think. i may not be overtraining but i’m definitely doing something wrong if i’m feeling this way about exercising right now. anyway, i did some hip hop cardio and i realized that i love dancing as my cardio. doing hiit workouts is fun too but in moderation.

i felt better afterward. i showered and then drank my protein smoothie. i may have watched some anime and then kevin came home. i made rice and then i started reading ‘the rules of magic’, my book of the month, while waiting for the rice to cook. we microwaved leftover curry and ate that for dinner before hopping on steam and gaming with ryan and later on, terence! we played gauntlet and finally got past the level where we kept dying haha. we played until 11 pmish and then kevin washed dishes while i got ready for bed. kevin stayed up gaming and i think i went to sleep.

11: we woke up pretty late. i keep waking up at around 8 or 9 am and then falling back asleep because of pto or it’s the weekend. :P we ate scallion pancakes with egg for brunch while watching the new try guys’ video on baking bread without a recipe. the ending of that video is ridiculous. then we meal planned and went grocery shopping! we stopped by bj’s and got kevin’s parents ugly christmas sweaters and ofc groceries. then we went to kam man and i got some new pocky flavors! they both taste pretty good! then we stopped by roche to get a few more things like hot cheetos (kevin we craving them and then i was too T__T), burger buns, and i’m still looking for the dairy-free halo top but no dice. we got a lot of snacks for some reason... kevin was in a munchy mood. hmmm. our pantry is stocked for winter though haha. we got back home and put everything away. i ate some leftover pulled chicken and one of the buns for lunch. kevin went to game with friends so i continued reading ‘the rules of magic.’ after a bit, kevin came to game with me and we played some battleblock theater. we played only for a little bit because the levels are so hard now D: we also needed to prep for dinner.

kevin started making the stock and then we both headed over to the fitness center :) i did some hiit cardio w/ abs and he ran on the treadmill. it was nice working out together. we didn’t do the same things, but it was nice being with him while i worked out. we stretched together and then headed back and showered. right after, we finished cooking the korean rice cake soup, plated it, and watched the rest of episode 1 of game of thrones. kevin doesn’t really like it. it’s really slow he says. lol i agree. i made it through season 1 but rq’d right at the beginning of season 2. he didn’t even want to watch the next episode and we watched the greek olympiad try guys video instead hahaha. we cleaned up and then i think kevin went back to gaming while i continued reading my book until 1 or 2 am? then i hopped into bed and ko’d.

12: we got up at 12 pm and then started our very chill day. we ate the cinnamon raisin thomas english muffins we got from bj’s wholesale for breakfast. we did some morning reading together and i took some pictures of us, which turned out to be cute failures ahha. then kevin went to game while i finished reading ‘the rules of magic.’ it was a very nice book! :) i love alice hoffman’s writing. i took short breaks to get more water and to snack a bit. then kevin played something else on the tv via steam while i watched him. he started playing ‘don’t starve’ and it was lulz. i started cleaning while he played and then we cleaned the kitchen together and i vacuumed our bedroom before he took over vacuuming and swiffering the rest of the apartment. kevin started cooking dinner after while i watched some youtube videos while walking. i was sitting for a while today so i felt like i needed to do some walking. we ate dinner while watching a stream of ‘don’t starve’ and then we played some battleblock theater together. omg, level 6 is so hard, but we made it through! after digesting our food, kevin went to run and took the ipad with him so i stayed in the apartment and did some cardio dancing. i didn’t particularly like the video that i was doing... so it’ll be in my queue but i probably won’t do it again for a while.

i also did some cardio hip hop and focusing on keeping my core tight the whole time. i did a set of ab exercises and then called it a night. kevin was taking a pretty long time so after drinking my protein with cashew milk, i went outside and saw him walking back. he said he decided to do a longer run :P then we showered and i tried calling it a night except that i was on my phone until 1:40 am / when kevin went to bed. o___o” i really should not be on my phone when i get into bed. i need to build better habits nowadays. :/ i spent some time looking online for a gratitude journal. i might just take a break from tumblr and write in that instead. i feel like it’s become a task just documenting my days here. i need a little bit of a new perspective.

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pninaharchive · 7 years

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Just one number? What if you answered them all? It will take a while, but time is just an illusion.

LMAO luv a challenge thank u 💐 read more bc it got long obviously

1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now?

ahh okay well i think about who i am as a person and whether im good or bad and recently in my reflections i realized that i have control issues?? and how to work with that is confusing to me but

2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone?

no lol

3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care?

no unless it was interfering with our relationship somehow?

4: Do you find it easy to trust others?

yes and no?? i dont really trust a lot of people but im very optimistic and idealistic and so i never assume the worst of people. like if someone lied to me i prob wouldnt assume so unless it was glaringly obvious

5: What were you doing at 11PM last night?

sleeping lmao

6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you?

this would never happen in my life oh my god i plan too much to not have a dd and a charged phone w access to a gps

7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?

break up w the person and prob not talk to them again

8: Are you close with your dad?

no i dont talk to him

9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right?

i havent kissed anyone since 8th grade

10: What are you listening to?

currently im watching ink master in the background but in terms of music ive been playing big thief’s masterpiece and diiv’s is the is are

11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it?

water lmao

12: Do you like hickeys?

ive never had one so idk for sure but the idea of it isnt super appealing to me

13: What time do you go to bed?

anywhere between like 11 pm to????? 3 am but usually closer to 11 bc i cant sleep in

14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down?

every man in my life

15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both?

no not at all im so bad at 1 handed texting

16: Do you always answer your texts?

no LMAO unless its my mom or abby

17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for?

i dont know that ive ever fallen before

18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?

an hour ago

19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them?

abby and angel and my bunny

20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

i dont remember i think i was thinking about tattoos

21: Is anyone else in the room with you?

my brother

22: Do you believe what goes around comes around?

no there are plenty of shitty people who are doing just fine

23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now?

noooooo way

24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with?

no im kinda fine with the people i choose not to speak to

25: In the past week, have you cried?

26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing?

black

27: Do people ever call you by your last name?

my last name is 9 letters long absolutely not

28: Is anyone ignoring you right now?

29: Do you have a best friend?

ya abby lmao love that bitch

30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed?

no. see #9

31: Who was your last call/text message from?

angel

32: Are you mad at anyone?

always

33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

see #30

34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday?

see #33. probably 19 or 20 idk

35: How many more days until your birthday?

345

36: Do you have any summer plans yet?

yes!!! im going to maine with my mom and her gf and abby soon and me and abby are gonna tear it up the rest of the summer.

37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex?

i have no male friends currently

38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now?

never

39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone?

i dont think so

40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?

yes lmao see #34

41: Do you think age matters in relationships?

absolutely especially when either of the people is below 20 or so

42: Are you available?

emotionally, romantically, and sexually yes

43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended?

i feel like i feel strongly for most people i meet im not really a casual person

44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get?

i kind of want to get my other nostril pierced??? other than that i think medusa piercings are really pretty

45: Do you believe exes can be friends?

if both of the people are emotionally mature enough definitely

46: Do you regret anything?

most things

47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now?

um ive been thinking abt my chronic illness lol bc i dont think im actively bleeding internally anymore but wondering how much blood ive lost bc ive been really exhausted and i think it might be anemia

48: Did you ever lose a best friend?

every one except the ones i currently have

49: Was your last kiss a mistake?

yes like see #40

50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like?

i dont like anyone currently i wish i did

51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry?

52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed?

no oh my god see #49

53: What was the last thing you ate?

i just had some pasta

54: Did you get any compliments today?

i think someone said they liked my shoes

55: Where are you going on your next vacation?

maine!!!

56: Do you own anything from other countries?

probably but i couldnt tell u for sure my dude

57: Are most of your friend guys or girls?

girls

58: Where have you lived most of your life?

rhode island

59: When was the last time you took a long drive?

sunday

60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?

no has anybody

61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house?

no has anybody

62: Who do you text the most?

abby i guess?? i dont really text that much

63: What was the last movie you saw?

i watched young frankenstein but ive seen that before

64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex?

dont have a gf

65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011?

none lmao i was in like 7th grade

66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you?

idfk see #52

67: Do you curse around your parents?

yeah

68: Are you happy with where you live?

not really i wish i was on my own in like europe or some shit

69: Picture of yourself?

check out my insta boiii

70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships?

i think it depends on the other person?? i could be open to either i think

71: Have you ever been dumped?

72: What do you most like about making out?

passion

73: Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with?

lets play a game called how many ways can i say im a virgin

74: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other?

i feel like this set of questions has something against me

75: What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive?

i like!! tummies and legs

76: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed?

my mom probably

77: Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?

gOD

78: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name?

aoidsfkfkl

79: What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face?

ummmmmmmm honest compliments and affection

80: Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already?

probably not right now bc im not ready or interested in kids but maybe someday

81: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you?

a couple people

82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush?

not usually but i havent had a crush in a long time

83: Do you miss your last sweetie?

what the fuck

84: Last time you slow danced with someone?

prom last year

85: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met?

olive is my boo

86: How can I win your heart?

ugghgh idk openness and honesty, passion, similar interests, buying me flowers

87: What is your astrological sign?

gemini!!

88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

sleeping

89: Do you cook?

yes i love cooking!!

90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication?

91: If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship?

yes im such a fucking romantic

92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly?

i think im a monogamous person but im?? also really flexible depending on the other person

93: What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?

idk im not picky ugh just

cute

94: Name four things that you wish you had!

a new laptop and purse, money, cute gf

95: Are you a player?

no im a pussy and also i love women

96: Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day?

no god

97: Are you a tease?

98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr?

yes

99: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone?

100: Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with?

yes omg definitely

101: Hugs or Kisses?

kisses!!!!

102: Are you too shy to ask someone out?

absolutely

103: The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?

gross

104: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?

only if im interested in them tbh

105: If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it?

no this hypothetical person sounds like a dick

106: Do you flirt a lot?

107: Your last kiss?

see #66

108: Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012?

no its like every question is about kissing

109: Have you kissed anyone in the past month?

asdfghj

110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be?

barbie ferreira :((((((((((

111: Do you know who you’ll kiss next?

no that would be too convenient

112: Does someone like you currently?

not that i know of

113: Do you currently have feelings for anyone?

nope

114: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?

serious relationships

115: Ever made out with just a friend?

116: Are you happier single or in a relationship?

who could say!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#answered #this took so long im so sleepy #Anonymous

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