#i was RUTHLESS and it feels so good to just. declutter like this

[djarin]

the way i've just finally been able to tackle about 10 years worth of clutter in my room...

[wtftarot]

PAC Reading: The Wheel of Fortune

The Wheel of Fortune talks about fate and the cycles of life. What goes up must come down, karma, the seasons, etc. What do you need to know about the cycle of your life you're currently in? What can you learn from past cycles? What should you expect from future ones?

This reading is for entertainment purposes ONLY and is not a substitute for professional advice in any capacity.

Pick the Sphinx, The Wheel, or The Red Dude and head to your reading.

The Sphinx

Whew, a lot of swords came out for y'all. Y'all are being shown that there is like a new direction or cycle starting for you, it looks like a good one too but you're gonna have to leave the old shit behind. The way it's being put is that you won't have room for all the cool new shit you want to bring in if you don't get rid of the old. What this is referring to will be different for each of y'all. I'm seeing for some of you it's letting go of physical objects, so if you've been thinking about decluttering you're being encouraged to do so. I'm getting specifically mementos from past relationships if that's something you've been holding on to. There's also talk of old bad habits that you know you need to let go of but the main message here is about old worldviews that need to be looked at. With all the swords here, it's a very cutthroat, ruthless energy but it's more like ruthless kindness for yourself and others. The saying 'Do no harm but take no shit' comes to mind. There's this idea in society right now about kindness = weakness, which we know is bullshit, but I think you're being asked to embody that. Starting with yourself. Start putting yourself first and taking care of yourself ruthlessly. You deserve to be fiercely taken care of and it's time you start doing that. I think y'all need to be told that anger is not inherently negative, you can be angry for good reasons and you can do good with anger. It's time to get angry on your own behalf. Ask yourself what would it look like if you were relentlessly kind to yourself, to care for yourself in a way that's ruthlessly gentle but also tough. Don't excuse your bad habits but do not flinch away from being kind to yourself either. You may have to start small and that's okay. It can be telling that self-critical voice in your head to fuck off, you don't have to try to make it positive or argue and prove it wrong (even though it is). Just start with mentally giving it the finger. I think y'all really need to adopt this attitude of like basing all your actions/decisions on what feels the most like self-respect. Sometimes selfcare/selflove isn't pretty. Sometimes it means setting a boundary and sticking to it even if it will cause an argument. Sometimes it means knowing that respecting yourself will mean someone else thinking you're a dick. I'm hearing that for those of you struggling with self-love or even just self-acceptance, you can try an actions first approach. Treat yourself the way you would IF you did love yourself. Or do things in love for your future self. Like we all have this idea of this future self that we want to be, so do things now to help future you out. Future you gets up early? Pre-set the coffee pot for them. You're shopping and future you cooks awesome meals BUT will also probably have a day where they don't have the energy? Buy shit for both, awesome meals and easy ones. OH shit, I get it. I was confused as to how this had to do with The Wheel of Fortune and cycles and shit. But the actions first method to self-love made me realize sometimes we have to do things in reverse to get to our goal. Y'all may have been wanting to change your life in some way, thinking that a change in what's going on around you will change you in some way. You're being told to embody the change first, and the life changes will follow.

random ass vibes: 10:10, 11:11, tigers, Green Day, yellow, Capricorn, windchimes, stickers, donkeys, Gemini, Libra, Aquarius (lotta air energy here),

The Wheel

So, this one is going to be pretty short and maybe a lil harsh, sorry about that. The overall message here is that change will not come to this unless you bring it. There's an area of your life you want to be different and you have to be the one who makes the change. It looks like there's something you've been wanting to do for a while, some change in your life you're wanting to make but you're scared that it will rock the boat with the people around you. I'm not going to lie, it probably will. First of all stay safe. Don't take this as me telling you to do something drastic or dangerous, you're in control of your actions. For some of you this is something small, others it could be pretty big. I think there will be an opportunity to make a change here, or you will be shown a way to make the changes you're wanting but you will have to go after it once you see it.

random ass vibe: reality shows, trees, podcasts, Sagittarius, Cancer, Taurus, surprises, 66, bees,

The Red Dude

This one is pretty short, sorry about that. Y'all are leaving a past cycle that could have been going on for a while and it looks like you don't have to do much for this to happen. The way it's being shown to me is like a wave, you can embrace it and ride the wave out or you can freak out and get pulled in the undertow. You'll need to trust your intuition and let it guide you during this. It's a time where trusting and letting yourself be guided is being highlighted. Don't worry about looking for guidance, trust that it will be there when you need to see it. Y'all may be a lil uptight and ask for guidance for every single thing you do so you're being asked to chill a bit. You'll get more guidance in the moment, while you're out living than you will by getting a tarot reading for every decision. I think y'all may have trouble letting go of control and this new cycle is about how good things can be when you're not trying to control things constantly. The message here is basically: Live your life and let yourself have fun. Be open to letting the universe have the reins, sit back and enjoy the ride. Random ass vibes: horses, clouds, smoking, 55, Virgo, hats, drink some water, artists, nail polish.

[azzahrahumaira]

Tuesday, April 2, 2024

Today has been a really tough day for me

There were many things happening at school

I was alone; weeping buckets of tears upstairs

Nobody was there to tell me it's gonna be okay

Nobody was there to patiently listening to me

Nobody was there to say "you've got this zah"

Nobody was there to uplift and cheer me on

I kept crying and crying for what felt like eternity

I ended up thinking about jumping off building

But somehow I remembered Palestinian people

I remembered their cute faces and their voices

I remembered how unstained their hearts are

I remembered how unbreakable their faith is

I knew my pain was nothing compared to theirs

I then remembered my purposes and my dreams

That I must stay alive if I really want to help them

I can not give up if I wanna be part of their cause

I can never quit if I wanna help liberate Palestine

I know your hearts feels so heavy right now,

But I am here, I have always been here for you,

So, let's break it all down, shall we, zah?

[let's just omit the desire to jump part] here it is:

Today, a lot of bad things have happened. She is one year older than me and is my fella teacher in this school, but she did something to me that hurt me so much I couldn't stand it. So I selfishly left my responsibilities, ran upstairs as quickly as I could, and then I cried in another teacher's classroom. Nobody was there so I could ugly cry and let myself drown in the ocean of sadness for hours. I am sure as hell I looked like a wrecked ship—no spirit and absolutely no hope. I cursed her and many other people repeatedly, as if I am angelic and has never made mistakes in my entire life. [She did make a mistake, but it doesn't mean she's devil. She's just a normal human being, remember zah? But yeah, I know it hurts. It does hurt when someone did something like that to you. It's okay, zah. It's okay. I understand] I lingered in that classroom a little longer and then I went downstairs. With the remnants of my energy,I cleaned my messy classroom [you rarely clean, organize and declutter your bedroom but you clean your classroom every single damn day, why? because you pretend to be a good girl and don't want people to know how messed up you are? anyways forget it] and then head in the parking lot. When I was about to leave, I couldn't help but crying some more. Then all of a sudden I was caught by the janitor. He asked "what are you doing there?" He saw me crying! It was one of the most embarrassing moments in my life. I'd rather disappear than experience embarrassing moments like this. I ignored him, and I started driving my motorcycle. On the way home, I didn't stop crying. I was crying so much today it almost felt like I was running out of tears.

You know, I hate a lot of people. I hold resentment and grudges for many people for years like my life depends on it. Believe me or not, I never, not even once, forget the bad things people have done to me. That's why I have never been good at forgiving people—not because I can't, but because I don't want to. Once I hate someone, I will give my all in making sure I will never forgive them. But you know what, no matter how evil people are, in all honesty, no one has ever been more ruthless than I have been to myself. Isn't it ironic, because I am someone who loves encouraging, uplifting, and advocating self-love to other people—and yet I am also someone who has always been doing many despicable things to myself. I deeply care about a lot of people but more often than not I just treat myself like shit. I always check in on people and ask how they've been but oftentimes I just don't give a damn about myself. I love some people so much I could die for them if needed, but I barely even take care of myself.

Yeah, a bunch of people have done evil wrongdoings to me, but none of them has ever tried to literally kill me. I was the one who kept feeding the suicidal thoughts that were inside of my freaking mind and acted upon them—I was the one who ran away and almost jumped off of the bridge in the middle of the night in my own volition, I was the one who tried to get into motorcycle accident multiple times, I was the one who always wanted to jump off of tall somethings but never got the chance to do so, I was the one who intentionally overconsumed a plethora of random medicines for 5 days straight , I was the one who "made" dangerous (you have no idea how dangerous it is for human body) toxins and then drunk it with utmost willingness, I was the one who used to literally scratch my arms with a small knife, etc—I was the one who tried to commit suicide many many many times.

But in those moments of agony, despair, and hopelessness—God always saved me. He never let me die by committing suicide in any shape or form. He has always been there when I needed Him the most. He sent me kindhearted people to to prevented me from going down the wrong path. And even when I had nobody to turn to, He has always been there when I needed Him the most—He always listened to me, He always consoled me, He always calmed me down and wiped my tears, and most of all, He always washed the pain away. Why? Why He didn't just let me die? Why does God keep giving me "the second chance"? Why He keeps taking good care of me? Why He never stops unconditionally loving me, even after all the minor and major sins that I have committed (and still do)?

I have been dealing with some personal problems and I am continuously struggling with my mental health (I still have suicidal thoughts from time to time). That's why sometimes I tend to push people away. That's why I always choose to be alone, because I don't wanna get hurt by anyone and I don't wanna hurt/harm anyone either. Despite everything, I am still here—by God's grace. I am grateful I still survive up to this point after all the traumatizing and harrowing experiences I have gone through in my life. I am grateful because Palestinian people always hold me accountable. I am grateful Palestinian people have made me become stronger than ever. Always protect, provide, and love them, ya Allah. They are one of the reasons why I refuse to give up on myself. Ya Rabb, please forgive me. Forgive me for everything. And please always guide me to be a better person. Give me Your light, and don't ever let me walk this temporary journey called life alone. Aamiin.

[valiantleigh]

What I Learned From 5 Years of Minimalism

The Beginning of  a Learning Curve

It all started with clothes. Oh boy, the clothes that 14-year-old Brenna chose to wear. Walking into Rue 21, determined to make all my fashion dreams come true, I‌ [un]wisely chose 3 pairs of brightly colored skinny jeans⁠—electric blue, shockingly emerald green, and maroon⁠—and cheaply made circle scarves and tops to match. This was it. This is how I would gain the “oohs” and “ahhs” and admiration of my fellow trendy Freshmen at Parowan High.

Eventually, the glamour wore off. Frustrated, I realized that rare shades of spunky green could only match with so many things. Dressing fashionably was more of a chore than I had ever wanted it to be, and somehow I still didn’t measure up to the girls around me. How would I‌ ever be comfortable with how I looked and achieve the effortless style I longed for?

Enter minimalism⁠—the worldwide movement touting the universal benefits of decluttering, downsizing, and “less is more.” Capsule wardrobes and black and white outfits seemed like the perfect solution to my personal style dilemma, and at age 15 I proudly declared myself to be a “minimalist.”

(If you are not familiar with the term “minimalism”, this article, and this article both give a good overview.)

I‌ began to devour every piece of minimalist literature and media I could find. I strategically began buying clothing that was guaranteed to pair well each day. I was ruthless as I decluttered my belongings and challenged myself to thrive with only the things that were necessary. Everything had to go. Frivolity and excess became enemies to my ideal of perfection.

At one point, I was successfully dressing myself for school each day with only 3 shirts, 2 pairs of jeans, 2 pairs of shoes, and one jacket to my name. Decided pickiness and a limited budget didn’t allow for much more, but at that time it was all about the numbers. I was proud of myself for proving it was possible to “live with less.”

But minimalism isn't strictly about clothing. It's a way of life. Mistakenly, I began to pattern myself after the lifestyle I saw on other people’s blogs and YouTube channels, convincing myself that this was my best life. Minimalism changed a lot of things for me: how I‌ viewed my time, my dream [tiny] house I‌ would build in college (ha! not happening), constant dissatisfaction with the untidiness of any room that wasn’t mine, and even how I‌ lived the gospel. Clearing the excess left me feeling empty instead of whole.

It took a little while but I finally realized that I‌ don’t want the smallest home possible; I don’t want to grow all my food and live off the grid; I‌ don’t want to constantly obsess over having the “right” stuff. And white walls and furniture? Forget it! I’m gonna be a mama, after all.

What I Got Wrong

In the end, minimalism wasn’t the solution to all my problems. For a young girl who felt that having full control over every detail of her life would bring the peace she desired, maybe minimalism wasn’t the best thing. However, looking back I wouldn’t give up the lessons I‌ learned about the relationship between possessions and my individual worth. While there was certainly a time that I cut out too much in order to live the lifestyle I‌ thought would save me, I have now kept the best parts of that journey and found balance and joy in more fulfilling ways.

So what are the best parts of minimalism? A few years ago, I totally missed the mark on that score. “Minimalism is a tool to rid yourself of life’s excess in favor of focusing on what’s important—so you can find happiness, fulfillment, and freedom.” (theminimalists.com, emphasis added) I, however, was using this tool as a justification for striving for unattainable flawlessness.

While I recount my past misunderstandings concerning minimalism, my goal is to dissuade you from it’s vices, not it’s actual tenets. Younger Brenna was reading words between the lines that weren’t meant to be there in the first place.

In fact, nearly every minimalist influencer out there pleads that newbies to the movement avoid conforming to any one way of using minimalism, especially if it isn’t right for them.

According to Colleen Valles of No Side Bar, “the beauty of minimalism” is that “there are no standards.”

“Minimalism is not about following someone else’s rules or way of living as a minimalist,” offers Melissa of Simple Lionheart Life. “It’s about figuring out what is important to you and getting rid of everything that’s distracting you from the important stuff.”

As I made this mental shift from a sort of utopian/restrictive minimalism to a mindful/carefree minimalism, here’s a few lessons I picked up on:

Lesson 1: When you find out what is really important to you, you’ll actually want it, and have a clear path to get it.

In this busy, busy world there is so much to choose from. With all of these choices vying for our attention, decision fatigue eventually leads to self doubt and feelings of failure.

But do we really even want the things that we choose on a daily basis? Do we want to scroll through our Instagram for 6 hours a day? Do we want to impress people whose opinions don’t matter to us anyway? Do we want to avoid things that might challenge us just because it is safe and easy? No one, when making a list of their priorities in life, even thinks about these things. They don’t make the Top 100!

So ask yourself, “What do I really want? And what is stopping me from obtaining it?” When I talk about actually wanting something, that includes taking the necessary action to reach for it and then make it a reality. This is different than saying something is a priority, or knowing something should be important to us.

You don't really want it unless you act like you want it.

A powerful gift that we have been given from our God is our ability to choose. By realizing what you really want and don’t want for your life, daily decision-making won't necessarily become easier, but it will certainly be simpler.

In my own life, instead of wearing certain styles of clothes to fit in or measure up to someone else, I‌ wear them because I‌ want to. I dress modestly because I want to. I‌ wear my vintage mom jeans because I look dang good in them, and because I‌ want to.

Instead of counting how many objects I own in order to fit into some made up ideal, I‌ keep it to the necessities because I want to. I‌ want my stuff to be organized, so I organize it, not worrying about how unorganized other people’s stuff is (because people are more important than stuff).

Once I figured out what I‌ really wanted, my life truly became mine, not some miserable copy-cat existence. My biggest hope for you is to recognize just how much power you wield when you make the choice to choose what your life is going to be.

Lesson 2: You can’t have everything you want, but you can be content.

I know this seems counter-intuitive to "choose what you want in life." But hear me out.

I am a firm believer that when we decide to choose the important stuff, it invites those things into our lives like a magnet. But I also know that we can’t choose every situation, or heartache, or trial that becomes a part of our mortal journey.

I like to think that our freedom of choice falls into two categories: (1) the things we can control or influence, no questions asked, and (2) the things we can’t–in which case we still have full and complete control over our attitude, our outlook, our reaction, and how we cope with what is placed before us.

My decision to be a minimalist was born out of discontent. I‌ just wanted more, more, more, because I didn’t feel like I was enough. But today, I’m here to tell you, that whatever you do have–whether it’s less or more–you can be content, and even grateful, right where you are. You are enough, and all that surrounds you is enough.

Even after all my talk of action and knowing what you want, I know that sometimes there is no amount of action that can change what our reality is right now. Some of our desires only come to fruition after we’ve been reaching for a very long time.

Remember those two categories of choices? I‌ think that they can be separated by time as well. The first category, the things we can control, are all in the future, at some later date. And while we wait, we make the category two choices: our attitude, how we view our situation. Contentedness is “satisfaction with things as they are.”

Plainly stated, we will never be happy or fulfilled with what we have in the future if we don’t accept our current situation–the “right now.”

What I am trying to say is this: maybe you want x but you need y. You want a clean home, but you need less stuff. You want freedom, but you need to take charge of your choices. You want peace, but you need to make space for it by letting go of something first. You want to be productive, but you need to measure your success differently.

After you know what you want, being content in your day-to-day existence–with yourself, your situation, your stuff, and the people around you–is the best way to love the journey while you reach for your desires.

Lesson 3: Money matters, but not in the way the world tells you.

Long before minimalism, I‌ learned my most important lesson about money management from paying tithing. Giving 10-percent of my earnings to the Lord–as a act of faith and obedience–has always multiplied the other 90-percent.

Minimalism taught me how to more effectively use that 90-percent. It’s easy to think that we are free to spend money just because we have it. I have been shopping for about 5 out of 20 years that I've been alive, and every purchase that ended up not working out in the way that I expected–whether I‌ was expecting increased happiness, popularity, or some easy fix to a deeper problem–was a lesson about treating my money well.

When you treat your money with kindness, it will treat you kindly too. So be nice to your money. Think carefully before you use it. Save some of it to show that you appreciate it. Invest it in something for the future. Spend it on that which is good and wholesome–especially the things and the people you treasure. But in all of your budgeting, don’t be too stingy with it. Money will ebb and flow through your life. Treat yourself! Use it as a tool to improve your life and lives around you. The mistakes you make with money will always be lessons for the future. Money is forgiving when you try to mend your ways; all it takes is some time.

Livin’ the Slow Life

I‌ hope you realize how recently these lessons took full effect for me. It didn’t happen right at first, or even all at once.

Over time, I’ve come to distance myself from the world of minimalism. I‌ no longer pour over articles from minimalist bloggers. I‌ know enough, and it sits well with me. Still, minimalism has been a big part of my growth, and I can’t pretend like it never happened.

Now that I know myself and my stuff a little bit better, I’ve decided to call what I do “slow living.” With a quick internet search you will find that there is certainly a slow movement going on, with decades of history behind it, but that's not what I'm talking about. I'm just doing what works for me (and borrowing the term). How I approach productivity, money, and how I spend my time is largely influenced by minimalism, but recently it’s become something all it's own. (Of course, I’ve always been influenced by the gospel of Jesus Christ.) Right now, I’m just focused on “embracing my pace.” And I can’t wait to tell you more about it.

Live valiant leigh,

Brenna

[Originally posted on September 3, 2019]

[thesmallcast]

New Year, New MEga Goals

Before I hit into the 2019 goals and outlook, I do want to reflect on my last post. Sex has been a big topic of my blog and rightly so. I think that it was such a difficult thing for me to comprehend. Sober Sex! Getting intimate! Nervous! Scared! I had issues with my vagina this year where I couldn’t even put a tampon in without pain let alone the thought of anything else.  I saw a gynaecologist for “vaginismus” - which more or less is the tightening of my vagina muscles making any type of penetration painful or impossible. I felt fine physically but mentally I was still holding on to previous trauma. I think seeing my therapist again and talking more about has helped me heal. Finishing the drought was n’t as bad as I had expected, in fact, I'm amused by the way it played out and so proud of myself for taking a leap and just feeling that confidence again! Of course - the first thing to do is message all my friends and update them on the latest and greatest news…One friend commented “ Isn’t it weird having sex with someone who’s drunk and you’re sober” - I was a bit taken back. I am not going to be able to dictate this I have made a choice to go sober - for me, it doesn’t change anything. I'm more conscious of ensuring that the male is in the right state of mind to consent. Its something I won’t be able to control and it doesn’t bother me either way.

Coming into 2019 a big part of this year is to stop being so hard on myself for everything I do, live in the moment, breathe and embrace. Its easier said than done but I'm getting so much better at taking a step back and being more accepting. Sometimes a friendly reminder that Hey, that's just you being you, dorky Sam, open book, bold, confident, cheeky, fun, loud, loveable Sam… I won't be everyone's slice of pie but Il always be delicious. I will continue to shine bright and not be discouraged by those who don’t value me or me being wholeheartedly ME.

I have written up a tonne of goals which I feel like have shifted than my outlook for 2019 originally. I have recorded them all below

I'm going to take a break from weightlifting. Two reasons, one is to save money and the other is to work more on building muscle and losing body fat. I have gone guns blazing into weightlifting but have been injured several times recently that its time to make a change. I want to get back into running I use to enjoy it so much and build more muscles in the legs.  My 2019 goals are to

1.Squat my own Body Weight 2.Enter City to Surf in August 2019

Also, a friend from the gym TJ has kindly offered to write me up a program.. for free which I’m so excited for. She is so knowledgeable and has a strong understanding of what I want. She gets my vibe. I enjoy the gym, the feeling it gives me and getting shredded is also great... I love my body as it is today! Maybe not that one week during my period.  I have definitely done a 360 from where I used to be I couldn’t stand my hips, my thighs, my chin…. Now my hips and thighs are my favourite parts of me! I used to have to look in a mirror at my therapist and it was super confronting at first but now I can't stop a looking!

My saving goals are to get back on the saving bandwagon. After a massive spring clean today, I realised I have so much stuff! I have seven pairs of shorts - is it really necessary… definitely NOT. I have been told on countless occasions that I’m a shopaholic. I will happily admit that I am. I think that most girls are but I don’t even think through a purchase I just swipe my card. It’s time I change that and take action. I would hate to know how much I spend on clothing each month... each year. I have a total shopaholic mindset which this year Il be majorly working on. Do I need it?.  I feel like there is a birthday or any occasion I instantly ‘need’ a new dress for it. Other than it draining my bank account - Do I have any other purpose for it? I have brought so many one time dresses or outfits for just a special occasion. I also, on the other hand, have some items I wear to death e.g my denim shorts, my Elle t-shirt... essentially my go to ’s. Nobody actually remembers or gives a fuck what you are wearing ... let’s be real.

Last year in winter,  I decluttered and asking myself -Do I need this? Do I wear this? I filled two kitchen rubbish bags with clothes ... and I was ruthless. I didn’t fall for the whole I might wear this again.... if it hadn’t been in my laundry for the past 6 months it was gone. I did make an exception for summer outfits but I was pretty honest with what I will wear and what I didn’t wear last season or what just made a guest appearance. It didn’t mean I now have space to add more clothes in those drawers it just means I’m a little less cluttered. Somehow I have managed to get my drawers chockfull… AGAIN.

So the rules are:

1. I will only buy if an absolute necessity - e.g. Work pants fall apart… which they won't cause I have about 7 pairs of those too!! 2. I am able to buy something new if I hit a fitness goal ( to be decided) 3.   Don’t just buy it for aesthetics 4.   Sell some shit and DIY

Thank u, Next!

Although it's slightly contradictory to saving, I do want to get out more this year and see more, do more, be more social. Experience more of Sydney. It doesn’t have to be expensive but definitely want to continue going for hikes, seeing what Sydney has to offer and meeting good souls.

My biggest goal for 2019 (one which makes me nervous and excited). To quit my job and move to Amsterdam for a year. It's a big one. It will be bittersweet to leave the comfort of Goodman Fielder were I have worked for 8 years, to pack my bags and leave. Hence the saving goals are in dire need. I am only young once and I feel this is a prime opportunity I'm single, I am turning 29… I have nothing to lose. Why Amsterdam? Well, I have a best mate there which makes settling a bit easier, its a great location and I can travel around Europe. I went to Amsterdam around 4 years back and absolutely loved it and the vibe and could see myself living there. The goals are too:

1.Buy a one-way ticket to Amsterdam for September 2.Learn basic Dutch

Moving into my more emotional and ‘icicle’ related goals. I am such a self-reflector and so more self-aware than I have ever been and I want to make sure that I'm not just thinking of my self but others too. I really want to pick up a volunteer role as I have been trying to find one which suits who I am and what I believe in. I will continue to keep my eyes peeled. My top 5 emotional goals to work on :

1.Be more decisive - Don’t be scared to make a decision to please someone else. Just go with your gut. No answer is the wrong answer 2.Don't get caught up on males - validation that I don’t need. I am enough. Stop wondering if I'm good enough for other people and start wondering if they’re good enough for me 3.Making enough time for the VIP in my life 4.Continuously praise and validate my self-worth - Be kind, gentle and caring. Making my own happiness. 5.Continue blogging to express me, my thoughts, my freedom, my being.

2019!!! Let's get cracking!

[josbuttler10]

7 Simple Ways to Bring Hygge to Your Home

Homes are an extension of our personality, they accurately depict our penchants, aesthetic sense and the way we live. When we enter that main door of the house, we should feel like we have entered our safe haven. It should make us feel welcomed, warm and relaxed. A sense of tranquillity and calmness should wash over us. If that’s not how you feel then your home needs to embrace hygge with open arms. Hygge which is hard to pronounce (hoo-gah), is not at all hard to accomplish. Hygge is a Danish word which doesn’t have a proper translation in English language but it loosely means appreciating and relishing simple pleasures of life.

What is Hygge?

Hygge is a feeling reminiscent of intimacy, love, pleasure, finding solace in the company of loved ones, doing small things together, curling up in a warm blanket with a cup of tea, burning a candle or just being in the moment. Basically, a celebration of love, self-care and little things in life. But when we say bringing hygge to our homes, it means decorating in such a way that the whole home shouts of relaxation and coziness. Surrounding and enveloping the home with objects, colors, textures, living room rugs, cozy bedding, candles, chunky knits, crackling fireplace and decoration pieces that evokes feelings of utter contentment and comfort.

The outside world can be a ruthless, brutal and overwhelming place to be in. After the entire day spent in an environment that is loud, frustrating, hectic, messy and very challenging, one wants to come back to a home that instantly eases all the tensions and makes the person feel secured, relaxed and loved. Danish people are one of the happiest nations in the world and the secret to this is particularly hidden in their way of living and embracing hygge. The best part is that you don’t really need a bog budget or big home to do so, all you need is the right guidance, tips and tricks to nail this feeling. So, let’s dive straight into that.

1.    Lit Candles  

Lighting candles around the home is the most simple, cheap and effective way to bring hygge to your home. think about the times when you lit a candle; when you’re on a romantic dinner, when you go for a relaxing bath or when you want to make a room feel intimate and very inviting. So light candles as soon as the sun goes down to lift the spirits, to make everyone at home feel special and to evoke the feeling of love and care. Even though the Danes way is unscented candles but I think scented candles further elevates the feeling of nostalgia and one must light scented candles.

2.    Neutral Color Story

When our aim is to bring warmth and coziness around the home then a warm toned color palette is inevitable. Although a cool toned color story isn’t entirely out of question but it will surely need a lot more effort to instate that hyggelig feels. Now don’t select colors on how they look but instead how they feel. The color scheme should contribute to the whole concept of harmony and peace. Use colors like greys, browns, beige, tan, taupe and fawn to create a perfect canvas for other elements to shine. You can also add living room rugs in soft beige against a wooden floor or paint a wall in fawn color and hang mirrors on it.

3.    Aim for Comfort and Class

Comfort, class, character and coziness are the main features of hygge décor. Stressful things should just float away as soon as you enter your home, I know its hard to do so but we can try, right? We can promote a comfortable and relaxing atmosphere around the home by layering living room rugs on top of each other and no need to spend a fortune on a vintage rug, just buy rugs for sale but layer them cleverly. Fluffy pillows, plush throws, soft bedding and dim lighting will make you tensed muscles relax in an instant.

4.    Feature a Fireplace

Nothing denotes warmth better than a crackling and blazing fireplace. In a hygge home, try to make your fireplace the focal point of the room instead of a TV. This will ensure that all the residents of the home sit together, converse, eat and interact with each other, which is the ultimate goal of a hygge home. Make sure to lay a warm rug near the hearth so that everyone closes on and create the perfect intimate atmosphere.

5.    Make Books your Beacon

The perfect encapsulation of an ideal day is when you’re curled up in a warm blanket near a fireplace, reading a good book and sipping hot chocolate. Books are the ultimate way to relax, chill and unwind. To get your daily dose of literary indulgence, a book shelf is the best possible way. Also, if possible, make a small nook in the home that is just designated for reading books. Trust me that place will be a safe haven for everyone in the home.

6.    Pay heed to Lighting

Over here I’m addressing the importance of natural light as well as lighting fixtures. In the morning, make sure to roll up those curtains and let the natural sunlight sweep every nook and cranny of the home. The sunlight will give your home an ambient glow and infuse your home with warmth and serenity. At night when the sun goes down, try to replicate that glow with proper lighting intonations. Say no to harsh lights and opt for warm, soft hued bulbs. Try to light up spaces with lamps, scones, chandeliers and pendant lights to create a home that is a treat for the eyes.

7.    Make Room for Nature

Nothing in the world connects as well with the soul as nature does. Greenery and flowers have the magical power to resonate with any color story in the world. So to bring hygge in its full form, one must incorporate nature with the home décor.

Summary

The feeling of hygge can be brought to the home with simple lifestyle changes as well. Baking cookies, cakes and bread loaves, playing soothing music, decluttering, organizing stuff in baskets, putting your phone aside and by doing creative artwork like paint by numbers are all simple and easy ways to embrace hygge.    

[crazyflyingspip]

Leave your home sparkling with Lynsey Queen of Cleans top Spring cleaning tips

Spring is just on the horizon, and for many people that means one thing – spring cleaning.

Related: Leave windows gleaming with the game-changing teabag cleaning hack

However, new research by storage providers Space Station has revealed that the annual spring clean has fallen out of favour with many homes. Over half of Brits admitted to never ‘spring cleaning’ their homes.

Instead, roughly one-third of those questioned said that they instead opted to clean in a more ad hoc manner throughout the year.

Image credit: Ti-Media

There are pros and cons to both the little and often cleaning method and the less frequent big spring clean approach. However, a happy medium lies somewhere in the middle, a combination of the two, at least according to cleaning guru Lynsey Crombie.

Lynsey ‘Queen of Clean’ Crombie a fan of the 5-minute challenge daily clean, is also a huge advocate for a good yearly spring clean.

‘Over the winter months we spend more time at home, so our homes take a lot more wear and tear,’ explains Lynsey. ‘Having a yearly or twice yearly spring clean will save you time in the long run, you will be more organised and productive from living in a clean and tidy space and you will be motivated to keep it like this.’

Spring cleaning tips

If you are planning on indulging in a big spring clean this year, here are a few of Lynsey’s top tips:

1. Turn off your phone

Keep distractions to a minimum by putting your phone on aeroplane mode.

2. A good playlist is key

View this post on Instagram

OMG I feel so good

. I have had such a productive #throwitthursday . My 10 minute declutter turned into a 45 minute blitz of my utility room. . Coats, shoes, handbags, cleaning products and baskets all organised . It’s amazing how a good declutter makes you feel and I kept getting the urge to admire my hard work once I had finished! Sad I know

. It’s the little things in life that make me happy . Hope you had a wonderful day . . . . #declutter #organise #motivated #hardwork #dedication #queenofclean #clean #cleaning #homesweethome #housework #chores #busylife #mumslife #happy

A post shared by Lynsey Queen Of Clean (@lynsey_queenofclean) on Oct 24, 2019 at 10:09am PDT

Keep yourself motivated by creating a fun and upbeat playlist for while you clean.

3. Work your way down

That means in the house and in each room. Start on the top floor of the house and work your way to the ground floor. In each room take care to dust cobwebs and cupboards before hoovering or mopping.

4. Open all the windows

Give your home a proper airing by opening all the windows and outside doors.

5.Clean out the vacuum

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Good morning everyone,  check out my new Handy Dandy vacuum cleaner . I have just literally cleaned the house from top to bottom with my new stylish cordless vacuum by @halo_capsule it’s a little embarrassing how excited I have been to try out this cool looking gadget . The capsule is cord free, light weight with fantastic suction, its long enough for that hard to reach cleaning and easily slips into those small household gaps . The capsule is made from carbon fibre and has the capacity of a full upright because it uses dust pouches which also save on all that mess when emptying. Has 60 minutes run time and a 3 hour full charge time . Capsule can be found www.Capsuleclean.com and my discount code is QOC25 . Wishing you a fabulous day it’s nearly the weekend …’ . . . . #weekendiscoming #newgadget #technology #review #productreview #carpetcleaning #vaccumm #queenofclean #cleaningsession #carbontechnology #fridaymadness #newtoy #housework #chores #homesweethome #goodmorning

A post shared by Lynsey Queen Of Clean (@lynsey_queenofclean) on Jan 30, 2020 at 10:46pm PST

Prevent any potential pitfalls by making sure the vacuum is clean and empty before you start.

6. Be ruthless

Spring cleaning is the perfect time for a clear out. If you know you don’t use it, chuck it.

7. Plan a regular cleaning schedule

A big spring clean is a great idea, but you still need to keep on top of your regular cleaning.

Lynsey suggests creating a cleaning plan that you can stick to. For example, plan to clean the floors on Monday and the bathroom on Tuesday.

You can find more of Lynsey’s cleaning tips in her book How To Clean Your House: Easy tips and Tricks to keep your home clean and tidy up your life, currently available for £7.54 on Amazon.

Related: Remove limescale in minutes with ingenious 2p coin hack – loved by cleaning gurus

Will you be following Lynsey’s spring cleaning tips?

The post Leave your home sparkling with Lynsey Queen of Cleans top Spring cleaning tips appeared first on Ideal Home.

from Ideal Home https://ift.tt/2Ozrlt5

[fightstudysmile]

My room declutter

THE “WHY”

After things calmed down a bit after I did my state exams back in June, I looked at my room and became completely overwhelmed. So much stuff and mess everywhere. And something snapped in me.

To give you a perspective - I’ve been naturally messy person since I was little (and there have been many arguments with my mom because of that). I didn’t mind having a certain level of chaos in my room and I never could keep it straightened out for more than a few days. Also, I am kind of a hoarder. In the last several years, I got into the habit of doing a “deep clean” after school year ended. I was usually pretty ruthless with my desk, less so with my clothes and usually only straightened out the rest (or most of it).

THE “HOW”

This year I decided to not only straighten things out but to actually get rid of stuff I don’t need or doesn’t have any actual value for me (after few weeks I found out it’s basically what the KonMari method says, whatever :D). I made a checklist and gave myself till the end of 2017 to check it all off. Funnily, it’s beginning of September and I’ve already done most of it. But I really need to tie some loose ends (and that’s the worst part, I’d say).  

To be honest, I don’t think it’s perfect and I will need to do few more rounds of this, but it feels really good. 

NOTES ON THE PROCESS

With clothes, I tried to be as ruthless as possible, but I have this small pile of things that don’t really fit me but I love and aspire to be able to fit in in the near future. A girl has to have motivation, right? And I did get rid of a lot of things - some went to my mom, some to the trash (you know, things like almost ripped jeans) and some to charity (because there was nothing wrong with them - they just didn’t fit and/or I didn’t like them anymore).

Interesting thing were my stuffed animals because I had quite a bunch of them (and I think there’s another box in our basement stall). I loved stuffed animals when I was younger and I still adore some of them and some are really beautiful but I kept most of them stuffed under my bed and I felt like it was such a waste... So, I did a bit of research and found a place where I could donate them because I wasn’t going to just throw them in the trash. So, I pulled all of them out, sat down and thought long and hard about each and every one. I kept really sentimental ones like the bear that was passed down to my from my dad and my first one or some really special and prettiest ^^ And I was pretty happy with the results.

The books... I don’t have tonnes because I turned more into a library kind of girl, but I still have a decent collection (and some boxes down in our basement stall). I went through them and sorted them into three piles - keep on my bookshelf (favorites, most useful and to-be-read), store away and give away/sell (not really loved and without sentimental value).

Under the cut, there is my checklist:

Bathroom

make-up

skincare

haircare

hair accessories

perfumes etc.

Clothes

socks

tights

underwear

pajamas

tops

sweaters

sweatshirts

jackets/coats/etc.

dresses

trousers/jeans/shorts/sweatpants/etc.

gloves/hats/scarfs

shoes

Accessories

handbags

backpacks

jewellery

Computer

school

work

photos

movies

music

bookmarks

other

Paper and such

books

memories

high school stuff

university stuff

stationery

manuals, warranties

contracts, certificates, medical info etc.

Places

cabinet no. 1

cabinet no. 2

shelves

storage under bed

other bits and pieces

[thenove-mberissue-blog]

reinvention, and how i made mine stick.

In the age of Instagram and fast fashion, we live in a world where reinvention is at our fingertips. Want a new look? Here are hundreds, if not thousands, of brands selling clothes for so cheap you’ll have a whole new look for pennies on the dime. But, how do we go about reinvention of oneself in ethical and sustainable ways?

Ever since I can remember, I have been what I called an “aesthetic disaster”. I remember liking a lot of different things and a lot of different looks but having no clear vision of how to put things together into cohesive outfits. This led to me buying a crap ton of clothing, with little to no direction of how these pieces would work together. I had clothes, but I didn’t have a wardrobe. You see, without a clear direction I had no idea how clothing would look together, and because I was in high school and on a real crunch for time, my outfits needed to be quick, so this resulted in me wearing the same pieces over and over again. The clothes that I didn’t wear, however, I gave to family and friends or I donated. And although that seems like a rather cheery conclusion to a seemingly minuscule problem, I was still contributing to the problem of fast fashion by buying these clothes and putting them in the waste stream. But now that I’ve retired from being an aesthetic disaster and seemingly mastered reinvention, here’s what I learned and how I did it.

Step One: Planning.

If there’s anything I love, it’s a good plan, and this extends to my wardrobe, too. Before I could even think about making any purchases, I needed to get a definitive sense of what kind of clothing I liked. So, I took to Pinterest and Instagram and saved the best things, the things that I adored most, into folders. After about a month, maybe two (feel free to take less time, I just wanted to make sure the clothing I liked wasn’t going to be another phase for me) of searching, I went back into the folders and took note of what popped up the most. I noticed I liked jeans, white shirts, camel coats, and above all else: sweaters. When I looked back on the clothing that I was pinning/saving the most, I had a good idea of what I actually liked. And then I moved onto the second step: the tailoring.

Step Two: Tailoring.

Although step two would have you thinking it’s time to haul ass to your local tailor, we aren’t there yet. During the planning stage, I found clothes that I liked, but during this step, I needed to take into account my body shape and the kind of silhouettes I found to be most flattering, and above all else, the things I didn’t like. I didn’t like cropped things, I came to realize, cropped jackets especially. I liked a wider legged pant, it seemed to be one of my favourite looks, and I absolutely hated skinny jeans. Straight-legged jeans were always flattering, but because of my hip to thigh ratio, I had to make sure that my straight-legged jeans were straight enough to not look like skinny jeans. I realized I could enjoy a nice pop of colour if the rest of my wardrobe was fairly neutral, and that a neutral wardrobe made it all the easier to get dressed in the morning. Now that I knew what I liked, and more importantly what I didn’t, it was time for the most boring step: the decluttering.

Step Three: The Decluttering.

This is the part where I got rid of the clothes that no longer served me. I had lost a substantial amount of weight, so on top of not having clothes that fit my look, I no longer had clothes that even fit anymore. I broke my clothes down into three categories: what I was giving to family, what I was selling to a consignment shop, and what I was donating. I took all of my clothes out of my closet, placed them on my bed, and gave anything to my sisters that I thought they would want, and I gave some clothes to my mom, too. After that, I packed away the rest, taking what I thought would be desirable to my local Plato’s Closet, and selling it there. What they didn’t take, I gave to Value Village. Now that I had gotten rid of all of my clothing, it was finally time for the fun part: shopping.

Step Four: Shopping.

Ask anyone about creating a new capsule wardrobe, a timeless collection of clothing that they adore, and they’ll all tell you that this is the most fun part, but it is easy to get carried away. In the age of the instant, it can be easy to see something that is less than perfect and want to buy it because it might not be there tomorrow. I call this “fear purchasing”, purchasing out of the fear that whatever you wanted might not be available to you at a later date, meaning that you feel inclined to purchase it right away. I’m here to tell you that this is not the way to do things. The shopping took me a while, hell I’m still on that stage five months later, but taking your time means that you’ll get the best quality things. I suggest hitting up some ethical and sustainable shopping sites, I used the app Good on You to tell me what sites those would be, and really combing through the clothing. In order to not get overwhelmed, I was constantly checking back in with my Pinterest board, making sure that whatever I was purchasing was actually in line with the aesthetic I wanted to create. When the clothes got to me, I was ruthless. If it wasn’t exactly what I wanted, it was returned, and if I thought it could use some tweaks, I had it tailored.

Creating the perfect wardrobe takes time, and I’m not sure if I’ll ever truly be done creating mine. Although my taste doesn’t seem to be changing, the quality of clothing I like does, and I’m phasing out anything that is subpar, whether that be through donating or selling it. It takes time, and effort, and patience to create something wonderful, but I do believe it’s worth it in the end. Let me know if you take any of my tips and how they helped you. Ciao for now.

[hatchetandbear]

Not Much Monday... Strikes again! Actually, I have been having a big sort out in the workshop and then it kind of spiralled through the house with what feels like a life changing declutter. I've been (seemingly) quite ruthless but it feels so good. I have a van full of charity to drive into town and some rather well curated eBay flatlay selections prepped to photograph upon my return. So it is only The Swan who is doing not much on this fine Monday. #notmuchmondaynot I'm hearing that a lot of us have been going through very similar life stresses recently and some are still trying to bounce back and shake off a rubbish February... I tell you what though... I just listened back to the full recent episode of @makersbroadcast with @grainandknot (I always do this the day after a release - with fresh ears - like I'm listening for the first time along with everyone else) It certainly is quite a zesty one and definitely ignited a spark in me!💥🎧 How's your Monday?

[chickenisamazing]

I don't even have the kind of clutter that's like cute knick knacks but like I just have a lot of everything. I have a gallon sized Ziploc bag filled with packs of post it notes and sticky tabs. I have construction paper and markers from middle school. Jewelry I never wear, barely used notebooks, old containers that are oddly shaped that store things that are grouped together for a reason I can't remember so I keep them the same way.

Most of it is pretty organized though, like I know where most things are. I just have a lot of stuff. And it's potentially useful stuff, just things that I wouldn't have everyday need for. But sometimes it comes in really handy! And a lot of things are from hobbies I had when I was a kid and then abandoned, but as an adult I'm gaining interest in similar things again so I'm finally starting to use a lot of that old stuff again.

Surprisingly, my hoard of ancient arts and crafts supplies are still largely in good condition. I still hate art, but maybe one day I'll enjoy it again enough to pick up an old paintbrush.

[aplaceforthesoul]

Sorry if it's long. I'm 25 years old. I have a hard time getting rid of stuff. A couple months ago my family rented a dumpster to get rid of a lot of furniture, lots of knick knacks, and things in between. My family has a hard time just getting rid of stuff. We all have the attitude of maybe we can fix it or sell it. But we never make the time to do so.

Growing up we didnt have money for anything. We got a lot of hand me downs from family or friends. Things like furniture, clothes or toys etc. Times are still tough but we do the best we can. We don't buy anything expensive. We don't even spend $15 on a shirt because we see it as pricey and we don't even have new furniture it's still the hand me downs from 10+ years ago. My parents always told us to use something until it's broken and can't be fixed no more then you can buy it new. But once we buy new we'd still save the broken item " just in case".

At my job, it's a small gift shop. Whenever we are damaging out an item usually my boss lets me keep it. I just have a room in my house full of random things I've gotten from work. But it's to the point of I don't even know what I have. Things are just in bins and boxes. I've used some items I've gotten from work for use at home or if I needed to gift something to someone. So I do use the items I get sometimes. But nothing is organized and it's just a big mess.

I just have a very tough time just throwing away stuff or donating it. I donate a lot of my clothes, shoes, purses to the community places in town. I just have a hard time telling myself no we don't need that. Because usually I attach items with emotions. And I start telling myself that the item will be upset if I don't buy it or if I just throw it away.

I was wondering if you maybe have any advice or if you knew any links that I can visit for people like me. Or even any suggestions on how to organize and de-clutter.

Sometimes I feel like it's linked to my past trauma or mental health because I can't let items go. I tend to hold onto everything to try to revisit the memory. I don't have great memory of my childhood or teenage years. Sometimes seeing an item takes me back to those memories. I've even thought about taking pictures of the items before I throw them away or donate them. I just don't want to have a collection of a million photos lol.

I hope it's okay that I asked this question here. And I hope it doesn't trigger anyone. Thank you so much. You always have the most helpful advice and you are always all so kind and non judgemental.

Throwing stuff out is really hard. I used to be a bit of a hoarder myself, I used to keep stuff that was really sentimental to me. It took a lot of work to stop being that way, so I completely understand where you're coming from here. You obviously want to change your mind set and declutter though, so I would say just start small. Get rid of one thing a day. Even if you only donated one item a day, you'd still be 365 items less at the end of the year. You could also just do 10 minutes of decluttering a day - time yourself and tell yourself you have to do 10 minutes today.

Then you will prioritize things a little better. Both those things work for me. You could take digital pictures of particular items you think are precious to you and then eventually, overtime you might feel better about parting with the pictures? You could also ask a friend to help or a family member, they're more likely to be more ruthless than you and they could help you make some decisions.

At the end of the day, if you want to make a change, you just have to start somewhere. Changing things is super hard but just donate a little time each day to it and you will change your behaviours over time. Learn to say no, learn to let things go. Donate things and that way, you know that they'll end up being loved by someone else. Here's a link to a good article with some more tips that might help you. Best of luck!

- Bonnie

[vestedbeauty]

Midlife Rage: Because That Is Most Definitely NOT William Devane

New Post has been published on https://vestedbeauty.com/midlife-rage-because-that-is-most-definitely-not-william-devane/

Midlife Rage: Because That Is Most Definitely NOT William Devane

Beating this periodic midlife rage thing is going to take some practice. Or bail money.

Ever shock your normally even-tempered and rational self with the realization you’ve become a fire-breathing midlife rage dragon? Damn, I hate when that happens.

But there we were, watching bad sci-fi, my sweet hubby and I.

The bad guy had just revealed his devious plan for… well, I can’t remember what he was up to, really.

“Oh, that’s William Devane,” hubby said.

No. It was most definitely not.

Fight or flight mode hit me hard. Like when I watch a horror film (through the gaps between my hands covering my eyes), I begged myself to be reasonable. Do NOT go into the dark. Don’t do it, girl. You’ll be sorry. This cannot end well. It’s not too late to…

Oh, but go, I did.

“You’re crazy, that’s not him. You always think it’s some other actor than who it is. Can’t you just watch the damned show and not make bold proclamations that are utterly incorrect?”

I went. 

Only in my mind, thank goodness for small wins.

Yup, wearing my annnnngry eyes.

Why So Grumpy?

To be clear:

Do I give a flying hoot about William Devane? No.

About sci-fi filmology? Absolutely not.

About being right? Ooooh. Busted.

And about my sweet hubby’s feelings and the relationship we are so consciously, carefully building? YES. Definitely, absolutely, and emphatically, yes. 

This is the man I chose to marry, not even a year ago. He’s the man I admire, respect, cherish, and enjoy. He’s the one I’ll go from midlife crank to elderly crone with… assuming I don’t push the self-destruct button on this marriage with this ridiculous prickliness. He is kind, brilliant, creative, strong, handsome, funny, sexy, deep, daring, principled, and fun.

Yet for some reason, midlife me sometimes kind of wants to go all Daenerys Targaryen on him (of all people) and scorch his wrong-actor-guessing ass into next week. To be honest, sometimes I let some of the flames loose. Not a full vent, but snappish enough that it’s shocking to both of us. And enough that I feel devastated, shocked, and betrayed by my own midlife-mad self. At this moment, I TOTALLY get Kathy Bates in Fried Green Tomatoes.

Only You Can Prevent Midlife Rage Forest Fires

We’ve talked about this, hubby and I. It’s painful even to remember how I’ve shown up during these crazy-headed scorched earth moments. Of course, he thought it was him, that he’d disappointed me somehow. It’s not him.

I mean, sure, he misidentifies actors. But is that REALLY a scorchable offense?

No way. But I know that if I don’t figure this out, I will torch everything I love, everything I hold dear, everything I’ve worked so hard to create. And that kind of midlife crisis – of my own making – is absolutely not okay.

I’m no stranger to personal development – current midlife bizarreness aside. Though I’ve created a life I love, sometimes something’s not working right in my mind. Maybe it’s hormones, and I’m going to look into that. 

Hormones or not, this is an experience I need to look at and understand so I can be and do better. I want to show up like me, with my normal level of weird rather than this super-sized serving of crazy. It’s definitely not him. That means it’s up to me to figure this out.

A (Not-So) Shocking Discovery about Midlife Rage

Stick with me a sec here.

As an empty nester, it’s been a kick to design my life. Our life. We get up without an alarm because we both work from home and own businesses. Usually, it’s about six or so. 

We eat far more culinarily interesting foods than we ever did when we were raising our families. 

Bedtime is – don’t laugh too hard – literally when our flock of chickens puts themselves to bed, around eight. I read a while, then sleep and get a solid eight hours each night. (I know midlife women often struggle to rack up enough zzzz’s, and someday I’ll tell you how I do it.)

Our house is cleaner than any I’ve ever kept. It helps a whole LOT that we have a wonderful cleaning lady who keeps on top of it all. I putter and clean and tidy up more than ever, but she’s the one who does the real work.

Puttering, in fact, has become a favorite part of my days. It’s therapeutic for me to create and maintain order. It’s also one way I get more movement into my day (I’m super sedentary during my work hours – I’m a writer).

You wouldn’t walk in and go, “WOW, that’s a clean house!” but most days you also wouldn’t run screaming from the mess.

I’ve discovered that I like order. In fact, I thrive in it.

Everything in its place, and a place for everything. 

I’m ruthless about decluttering. As a minimalist, it’s easy to feel suffocated by too much stuff. I’m also not all that fancy. OK, not fancy at all. I despise shopping. So, we don’t have the mountain of stuff many couples have. 

But while I seem to thrive on routine and tidiness, there’s a dark side that shows up in my thoughts. It shows itself in the form of a control freak. That feels like a new one for me.

OMG, I’m Procrustes

So, in Greek mythology, there was a baddie named Procrustes. He was infamous for his bed practices. (Not that kind.) He’d force his victims onto a bed, then either stretch them to fit it perfectly – or cut off any bits that hung over. Nice guy.

Oh. Nice me.

Turns out, I’m cool as long as everything fits my notions about what should be, cool. Same with anything else that might need to sync up.

But if something sticks out – or in, really – into the bubble of my thoughts, especially if I’m concentrating, indulging in story-driven entertainment, or if I’m lost in thought while mulling a work challenge… it’s time to sound the smoke alarm. Danger, Will Robinson!

Unless I notice the warning signs and take action to extinguish the blaze.

Well, Whaddya Know

Here’s what happens when I catch those sparks before they go wild. Something happens. I perceive it. Then I have a thought about it that sure seems to be entirely valid and accurate. Next, there’s a feeling followed by a surge of energy that demands release. 

Are you kidding me? THIS again? This is the same freaky way my brain behaved when I had a binge eating disorder. How on earth do I not have this solved and beat it for good?

Oh. It’s the way the human brain works. OK, fine. At least I’ve got the tools that worked every single time I’ve ever actually bothered to use them.

Rather than fly off the handle (or eat two rows of Oreos while standing over the sink with a glass of cold milk), I can stop for a moment and go:

Hey brain, whatcha doing here?

Oh, you have a thought. Cool. Let’s hear it.

My, that’s an interesting one.

Is there possibly another way to look at this? Or do you really just want to go ahead and do that thing you think you want to do? I mean, you can but make sure you realize you have a choice in this.

That’s kind of the gist of it. It’s a matter of throwing the brake lever on the train long enough to make an intentional choice about what comes next. I’ve been up and down the tracks long enough to know where they head, and how hard it can be to stop that freight train if I reach a certain point.

And really, despite all appearances when I’m in the throes of a temper tantrum, I’m typically a very happy and chill person. I adore my husband and enjoy him thoroughly. It’s a delight to live in my skin, because I’ve chosen it to be that way.

So, if all I need to do in the heat of fury is to take a beat to breathe and choose, that’s pretty doable. That doesn’t mean I’ll always do it, or even remember to do it. But if I choose not to master my own mind and the experiences I create, life’s going to suck… by choice. Sounds worth it to me.

This Is Not Entirely Unfamiliar Territory

I have many, many, many happy memories of my grandparents, and I was blessed to have most of them around well into my 40’s. But I also have memories of incidents that were puzzling at the time – and now make sense – of my grandmother whipping out a dragon of her own. My grandfather would be telling a story. She’d interject corrections throughout. It wasn’t that day, that place, that person, that meal, that… Every single detail of his story was subject to her correction. I always felt bad for him when it would happen, and annoyed with her for creating such an unpleasant situation for everyone witnessing it.

Fast-forward a few decades, and I’m about to flip my shit over not-William-Devane. I am utterly grateful for this bad memory of Grandmommy because it’s like a canary in the coal mine for me. She did her very best, and did so without the world of personal development that I can access with a few clicks. She didn’t have podcasts, blogs, videos or books aplenty to help her sort her grumpy midlife self out.

I do.

And I will.

And if you’re also finding yourself baffled by your own sudden snappish tendencies and sudden midlife rage, maybe we can figure this out together. It might save lives. 

Want to Do this Together? (I promise not to breathe fire on you!)

If you were to examine this blog closely, you’d notice a humongous gap between posts. Before, to be honest, I had in mind to build an affiliate site and nothing more. I had several sites going, covering everything from gifts to health to pet rats to magical uses of marijuana (we’ll talk about that someday if you want). It was exhausting. There was no way to keep up. Shiny object syndrome had me in perpetual busyness, but it was like running on a treadmill – it went nowhere.

Now, there’s another driver. I’m realizing that maybe I don’t have to have this midlife thing sorted out. Let alone the whole midlife rage thing. But, there’s no need to be an authority. No requirement to have all the answers. Instead, I can just document this journey and report back the discoveries back to you.

Pretty much every midlife woman I know has a lot of puzzles to solve. (I’ve adopted that distinction – a very smart guy I work for says, “There are no problems, just puzzles.”) Being an alliteration addict, I’ve got a bunch of M’s that fit here. 

As midlife women, we’re sorting out our:

Mindset

Movement

Metabolism

Mind (like, how it functions)

Marriage

Money

Makeup and hair

Mission (why are you here?)

Meals

And a bunch more, like our kids, grandkids (someday), friends, etc. They don’t fit neatly into those M’s… though I swear I will find a way! (Darnit… Procrustes has ways but let’s not go there!)

Anyhow, if you’re up for taking a wild and all-over-the-place ride with me, let’s do it. I sure can’t promise it’s going to be smooth, consistent, or pretty. But that’s kind of alright, too. We can just show up as-is, be real, and grow together. 

Deal?

P.S. I just showed this post to my sweet hubby. He liked it. Then he muttered, “I still think it was William Devane.” Guess he’s a little pig-headed, too.

[cearyfloyd]

Declutter the Bathroom – 20 Items to Get Rid of Now

Learn how to declutter the bathroom in no time with these bathroom decluttering ideas and decluttering checklist. Free bathroom organization printable included!

The Bathroom Decluttering Challenge

If your bathroom is starting to feel cluttered and chaotic, it’s time for a good decluttering! Decluttering is the first step in any organizing project and probably one of the most important. By getting rid of all of that extra “stuff” that you don’t use, you’ll be able to create a much more functional and calming space. And who doesn’t want a more spa-like bathroom retreat to pamper yourself?

Timed Decluttering

I find that putting on a timer really helps me get things going when I’m working on organizing a room. A timed decluttering challenge is all about getting rid of as much stuff as you can in a dedicated amount of time {30 minutes works well for me}. During this time you want to stay completely focused on JUST decluttering. I always sort my items into 4 categories: “Keep”, “Donate”, “Trash” and “Belongs Elsewhere”.

After you’ve gone through all of your items, go back through your “Keep” pile and sort the remaining products into similar categories to make it super easy to organize when you put it back. You may choose to sort your items into like items {i.e. all hair care products together, all dental products together, etc.} or by how you use them { i.e. a bin of items that you use regularly when getting ready in the morning like I did here}.

How to Get Started

To get started, all you need is a couple of boxes to hold items that you’ll be getting rid of and a large trash bag or two. You may also want to have a bin for items that you come across that belong elsewhere in your home, but that’s not really the focus of this particular challenge.  Once you’re ready to go, just set the timer and work in a systematic pattern around the room going quickly through all of your cupboards, drawers, and surfaces to see what you can get rid of.  I like working in one direction around the room but you could also work top to bottom if that works better for you. Pretend you are on a gameshow with the timer ticking and the audience cheering you on to gather as much stuff as possible!

Questions to Ask When Decluttering the Bathroom

When it comes to decluttering, there are a few questions that you can continuously ask yourself as you go along to help determine if the item should stay or go.  If have you have think about your answer, chances are very likely that you don’t need it.  As you are evaluating your items, keep these questions in mind…

Do I use this?

You shouldn’t really have to think long about this.  You either use it or you don’t.  Take note that the question is NOT “Will I possibly use this one day?”.

Is this product still good?

Remember that almost all beauty products have expiry dates. Most products will last around 6-18 months from the date that you open them. If you notice that the texture, color, or scent is “off”, it’s probably gone bad and should be discarded.

Is this item extra?

How many bottles of body lotion do you really need?  Do you really use that sparkling eye shadow? Evaluate what you need and use on a regular basis.  As mentioned above, almost all beauty products have a life span so it’s not always wise to “stock up”. Choose your favorite and toss or donate {if unopened} the extras!

Would I buy this today?

Ask yourself if you still love the item and if you would still buy it again today. I find this questions is especially helpful for bathroom decor items. Is it adding beauty or function to the space or is it just adding to the clutter?  For beauty products, think about whether or not you really like the colors on you, does it work for your skin type, is it as effective as you thought it would be, etc.  If the answer is no, it is time for it to go!

Does this help to make my life easier or better?

There may be some items that you don’t really need, but you do use regularly and they help to simplify things or give you pleasure in life.  You can definitely splurge on some items – just make sure they are useful to you or provide you with joy.

Can the space that this item takes up be reduced?

For items that I am keeping, I always look for ways to reduce its footprint.  Can the packaging be removed for more condensed storage?  Do you have multiple bottles of the same product that can be combined?  Can you transfer the item to a smaller container?  Is there more appropriate storage that would make it easier to store and/or access?  It’s amazing what a little creativity can do to minimize space!

20 Items to Declutter from the Bathroom

Are you ready to declutter the bathroom?  Here’s a list of 20 items to declutter from your bathroom. They may not all be applicable to you, but it should definitely give you a good start. Remember that items that are important to you might not be important to others, so just do you! Let’s get started…

Towels.

Take a good look at your towels and see if they are all in good shape.  For those that have seen better days, you can either use them for rags {if you NEED them!} or look at donating them to an animal shelter if they are still in decent condition.  Determine how many towels you actually need to have (I limit ours to two bath towels per person plus a couple of extras for the rare time that we have house guests stay overnight} and donate any extras.

Cosmetics.

Start by going through all of your make-up and tossing those items that are passed their expiry date {you can see a list of how long to keep make-up here}.  Next go through what is remaining and determine what you actually wear and what you don’t.  Unfortunately, some colors just look better in the packaging than they do when we put them on ourselves! Keep only what you use and makes you feel pretty.

Make-up Brushes.  

Go through all of your make-up brushes and pick out what you use and toss old brushes that may be losing fibers. Many times you buy a make-up brush set and only really need 2 or 3 of the 10 brushes that are included so make sure you are actually using what you keep.  Wash remaining brushes with some gentle baby shampoo and dry before putting away.

Hair accessories.

Go through any hair ties, elastics, head bands, etc. and toss those that you no longer wear.  Store remaining items together.

Skin care products.

Be ruthless. If it does not work for you, you do not use it {even if you wished you used it!} or if you prefer another product that serves the same purpose, let it go.  Smell all products and place a small amount in your hand to make sure that it has not gone bad.  I find that older products tend to take on more of a “chemical” smell to them or the texture is off.

Hair products.

Go through all hair products similar to what you did with skin care products.

Nail products.

Nail polish has a longer shelf life compared to a lot of other beauty items.  If stored properly {out of direct sunlight and in a cool, dark area} it should last for at least a few years. Look for changes in texture (clumpy nail polish is bad!) to determine if it needs to be tossed rather than how long you have had it.  Of course, just because it has not gone bad doesn’t mean you should keep it if you don’t use it so make sure you still like the color and actually have the time to apply it.  Store other nail accessories such as clippers, nail polish remover, files, etc. in a make-up tote or small bin.

Medication.

Medication should ideally NOT be stored in the bathroom due to the temperature fluctuations and steam caused from the bath and showers.  Go through all medications and gather all items that have expired or you no longer need/use.  Toss in the garbage if safe to do so or return them to the pharmacy for safe disposal.  Find an alternative place to safely store your medication {such as the kitchen cabinets} if you have been keeping it in the bathroom.

Beauty appliances.

Sort through all beauty appliances such as hair dryers, straighteners, curlers, foot baths, shavers, etc. and evaluate what you use and what you don’t.  There always seems to be something that we hold onto for that “someday” when you will have the time to use it, but if you haven’t pulled it out in the last 6 months, the chances are that you never will.  If you are holding on to that foot bath that you use once per year, maybe it would be better to get rid of it and just head out for a pedicure instead!

Hair Brushes/Combs.

There seems to be a different sized/shaped hair brush for everything these days.  Toss what you don’t use and clean what you are keeping.

Decor items.

Take stock of any decor items that you have in the bathroom such as artwork, storage bins, and other accessories.  Ask yourself if it is adding to the space or if it is just producing clutter.  Keep those items you love and donate or toss any items that are no longer your style. When choosing decor items {especially in smaller spaces}, look for items that are both functional and pretty.

Shower Curtains.

Plastic shower curtains can be washed in the washing machine using warm {NOT HOT!} water and hung to dry.  Eventually though, they do pass their prime and it is time to toss them for a new one.  If you have a cloth shower curtain, do you still love it?  Give it a wash if you do or donate/toss if it is time to update it.  A new shower curtain is a fun and inexpensive way to give your bathroom new life!

Trial sized bottles.

If you have a ton of trial sized bottles that you picked up when traveling or received as free products when you purchased another item, it is time to use it or lose it.  While it’s nice to have one set of travel sized bottles for when you do go away, that’s all you need!  If you really love the product, commit to using up all of those little bottles first so you can get rid of the extra clutter. Items that are still sealed can be donated to a shelter but most will not accept any packaging that has been used or opened.

Shaving/Hair removal products.

Toss old razors, and other items that you don’t use {maybe that home waxing kit?}. Test any electric razors to ensure that they are working properly and discard any extra accessories that you don’t use.

Bathroom Cleaning Supplies.

Take stock of your cleaning supplies and toss those that you no longer use.  If you have multiple bottles with the same product, combine them.  Place those bottles that are close to empty towards the front of your stash so you will use them up first.  Look for cleaning products that can be used for multiple uses and minimize chemical cleaners as much as possible.

Counter Clutter.

Counter space is generally prime real estate in the bathroom.  Try to store as many items away as possible {while still keeping them accessible} and keep only those items that you use all the time out {such as hand soap or hand lotion}.  Keep decorative items to a minimum depending on your space and make sure that you truly love them.

Perfumes/Cologne.

If you store perfume in your bathroom, ensure that it is stored away from heat vents and away from the steam of the shower {as it will make it break down quicker}.  Depending on the perfume and how you store it, most perfume will have a shelf life of about 3-5 years. Check all bottles to make sure that it is still good and you still love it {on you!}.  Think of how many bottles you have compared to how often you apply it.  If you have more than you can possibly use, donate it while it is still good and keep your top 2 or 3 favorites.

Bath Toys.

If you have younger kids, sort through bath toys to see what they still use and what they have grown out of.  For those toys that you would like to keep, check to make sure that there is no mold anywhere {especially those water squirting toys!}.  Discard worn toys.

First Aid Supplies.

Check through all supplies and see what you don’t need as well as what might need restocking.  Check anything that has an expiry date to make sure that it is still good.  You can see our first aid organization here.

Personal Care Items

I won’t go into details here, but go through them and see what you need!

Free Printable Bathroom Decluttering Checklist

If you’d like to print out your own checklist to help you declutter the bathroom, just click on the link below, save it to your computer, and print it out. This printable coordinates with my Household Organization Diet printables, so you can just add them to your binder with your other bathroom tasks.

DOWNLOAD THE PRINTABLE HERE

I hope this helps you to finally declutter the bathroom once and for all! If 30 minutes seems too short for this, remember that it is just a quick discard of all of those items that you are going to toss or donate. If you stick to the task at hand and work quickly, you will be surprised at what you can come up with! {NOTE: If you like this decluttering challenge, you can also find 20 Items to Declutter from the Kitchen HERE}

More Bathroom Organization Ideas

For more bathroom organization tips and tricks, check out these posts…

Bathroom Cabinet Organizer Ideas

Easy Tips to Organize the Bathroom

Coastal Style Bathroom Makeover

      The Household Organization Diet

This post is part of The Household Organization Diet. If you need some organization inspiration, check out THIS POST  to learn more about the plan and grab your FREE room by room organization printables.  You CAN get your home cleaned and organized once and for all!  To see all of the previous posts click the Get Organized tab at the top of the blog and go to The Household Organization Diet.  I also have all of the posts pinned to my Household Organization Diet pinterest board.  Start at any time and make sure you are following along so you don’t miss out…

FIND THE PLAN HERE INSTAGRAM / FACEBOOK / PINTEREST / NEWSLETTER / BOOK

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[htstalybridge]

Thought for the day: 30th June

I guess many of you, like me, have been pushed into sorting out 'stuff' during lockdown. Clothes in wardrobes, books on shelves, CDs (for those of a certain age), toys in toy boxes and even plants in gardens.  It was when I was trying to declutter my attic that I came across a bag of memorabilia from my days at work. Therein, I found this quote in a training booklet on Professional Counselling;   'The world we have made as a result of the level of thinking we have done thus far creates problems we cannot solve at the same level of thinking at which we created them'. By Albert Einstein  It may take you a couple of reads to suss this one! (Cue Gavin Merrifield) Strikes me that COVID may be a perfect example of what we may have created. And scientists are now desperately working to find a vaccine. Just like our human cleverness at creating an incredibly useful material like plastic, only to now find it chokes the very sustainability of our planet. Einstein is said to have believed the problem of God was the most difficult in the world - a question that could not be answered 'simply' with yes or no. He conceded that 'the problem is too vast for our limited mind's'. Sadly he never made it to becoming a Christian.  A benefit from sorting 'stuff' (oh, how the messages of simplification in our lent series book 'Ruthless Elimination of Hurry', by John Mark Comer, are ringing in my ears!) has been to revisit some of my Christian books and reread them. One of these was 'Do You Feel Called by God?' By Michael Bennett.  When I was working in a highly pressurised job I felt that I should be doing something else. Something more in keeping with a Christian vocation. I agonised over this - prayed about it, talked to Christian friends about it, looked for a leading in my bible and listening to God's word preached. I even went on some courses and conferences to try to discern God's will for my life. I couldn't find any answers. Just stay where you are and carry on God seemed to be saying. Eventually, I backed off, decided to trust God and carried on with my job trying to apply Christian values as I went along. And I also sought to just refocus my life on Jesus. This was the time I decided to take a sabbatical from my then church and, through the advice of a friend, I walked through the doors of Holy Trinity one Advent Sunday morning. I needed to stop all my busyness, rest and rethink what really matters.  One of the passages that kept pursuing me during this time was 'Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight'. Proverbs 3:5-6. It was everywhere - preached about, in my daily readings, even on my calendar. You see, as a scientist myself, used to logical thinking and finding the answers to life's questions, I was missing the point. Just like an incredibly clever man like Einstein. This is precisely what faith is about and sometimes there are mysteries that God doesn't think timely for us to understand.  Recently, like you, I moved into this period of lockdown. And the whole thing floored me. As someone used to being proactive and solving problems I found myself trapped at home seemingly helpless. It didn't rock my faith, I just didn't know how to respond. One of the benefits to me of doing church during lockdown has been the daily Thought for the Day. A chance to reflect, consider what really matters and refocus on Jesus again. I have circulated the daily Thoughts to a number of people outside our church and they actually have also passed them on to others. One of these people wrote the following to me yesterday;  'I just wanted to let you know how grateful I am for your church's Thought for the Day. Many a time it has been just what I needed to hear. It has helped to sustain and encourage me in these dark times......... written by ordinary people in layman's language - the ability to connect with humility and honesty. Written by real folk for real folk.'   Hey, what was it that Jesus asked us to do? You see, during this time I think we have found a new honesty in our brokenness and maybe come to learn the lesson that the church is not a building but the human body of Christ - which is each one of us and what we each bring to it.    Check out https://youtu.be/a7u-p31vIY , a song called Stained Glass Masquerade by Casting Crowns.   Michael Bennett in his book that I refer to above, speaks of Ephesians 4:11-13. Here he refers to the gifts that our church leaders may show - apostles, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers. Their role is to build up the body of Christ to equip the rest of us (yes us saints!) for the work of ministry. And haven't we been blessed by some great examples of that during lockdown! Not only are we grateful to those who allowed themselves to be videoed for Sunday streaming, or wrote a Thought for the Day, but also young Melissa who sent a wonderful letter to someone elderly on their own and without the technology to watch our services, Dave and Mike who patiently helped those struggling trapped in their own homes, Heather and Trish making sure the hungry are fed, Nick reminding us of those in the third world with none of the resources we have in our country to battle the virus, Alan who brought new technological skills to deliver amazing worship, Diana who used her seamstress skills to make masks for the services, Janette who volunteered to go back to work on the frontline nursing, Jonathan who fed and ministered to his 90+yr old neighbour.  And so it goes on. Wow! Then there is all the prayer and taking time out with God each of us has done. So many of us have just had to refocus on Jesus and think on what is really important - our lives have been so enriched as result.  Church, we need to be so thankful to our leadership too - Gary, working all hours in the love of God to lead and serve us, Bea and Ru keeping the needs of our children to the fore, Dave Monday who has built an amazing ministry with our pastoral team, Charlie supporting our home groups and their leaders. We are so much more a church family now don't you think?   Isn't God good? So I finish now with a challenge to you all. What is our ongoing call to ministry? As individuals and as church.  Gary is asking us to reflect on three things at the moment: 1. What in the past that we did as church pre- lockdown do we need to keep .... and what should we let go? 2. What in this new way we have found to do church should we keep doing in the future? 3. What is God saying about our new found Vision as we move into a different time of post lockdown? Please do think and pray on these things and please send your feedback in.  Isn't this an exciting time!!!  New ministries are already revealing themselves.   And finally - please keep on praising and praying to our most wonderful God!   Sue Smith🍒 PS God does have a sense of humour - all that agonising over a vocation and now I find myself using the work skills and knowledge I gained in my old job is being used in my role as Operations Lead within our church! God had a plan all along.

[krisiunicornio]

Here, inspiration and practical tips for turning these uncertain times into an opening to make progress on your life’s work—or unfinished business.

They say Isaac Newton created calculus and the theory of gravity while holed up in quarantine during a pandemic.

Sets the bar pretty high, doesn’t it?

During the COVID-19 outbreak, many have taken to social media to share their intention to finally write the book or do the project they’ve been putting off... along with their total lack of confidence that they’ll actually follow through.

In my everyday work, I teach people the spiritual and practical strategies they need to finally, actually answer their callings, like writing a book or starting a business.

A principle I share over and over again is the concept of decathexis. This is the idea that when you stop pouring your time, money, energy, or attention into a particular activity or occupation, you recoup those resources back in a big, energizing wooosh.

And almost instantly, you can re-access that time, money, energy or attention and re-invest it into whatever new project or endeavor floats your boat.

Normally I teach the principle of decathexis by pointing out to my overscheduled clients that if they already feel strapped for time and energy most of the week, they must decide what they’re willing to stop doing to create space for the new book, business, or relationship they want.

That’s where the Newton story comes in. A pandemic freed up the headspace and time he needed to flourish creatively, and out came the theory of gravity.

A Global Reset

The current pandemic and shutdown has forced most of us to be much less busy outside of the home than normal, by freeing up our commute time, stopping us from socializing, or, in the worst cases, ending our jobs on zero notice. But it’s also caused many conscious souls to be chronically anxious, worried, depressed, distracted, or simply overwhelmed at the daily realities involved in trying to work from home and home school our children all at once... with no preparation.

If we try to look at this crisis in a positive light (knowing that there are people at real risk), maybe the Universe has just given us all a reset that will unfold and unfurl in stages.

In stage one, awakened beings all over the world shelter in place for the wellbeing of all, send any concrete support we can, and send out the highest energies of love and wellbeing to our healthcare workers, vaccine researchers, leaders, and those affected by the virus.

And in the next stage of this worldwide reset, our minds naturally gravitate to wondering what the next version of our world will look like, and how we’ll navigate lost jobs, shuttered businesses, and maybe an economic recession to get there.

Then we begin to wonder how we can best make use of our free time, in the meantime, to dive into our long-deferred passion or personal projects, or handle old unfinished business.

If you’re open to viewing the shutdown as an opening to make progress on your life’s work, here are a few best practices for making the most of it.

4 Steps for Making the Most of Downtime

1. First, rest. I’ve had a number of clients confess that they were secretly relieved when the shutdown gave them this rare break in their overscheduled daily lives.

We’re undergoing a collective global reset, and a collective global trauma, in real time. I’d say a sacred pause is in order before you start trying to get a bunch of stuff done.

Bonus: When you rest for a few days without trying to jump into action, you allow your nervous system to downregulate into a state that allows for more creativity and flow than your normal schedule likely does.

2. Create physical space. At the same time, some of us feel less stress when we’re busy doing something.

I encourage people who want to do a creative or passion project to first do what Tosha Silver calls “intentional vacuuming”: nature fills a vacuum, so anytime you want to call anything in intentionally, you should first do a bit of decluttering.

Get rid of things in your physical space that no longer work, fit, excite you, or otherwise serve you. I usually ask my students to do this for no more than seven minutes at a time, but it feels so good that often seven minutes snowballs into a whole house decluttering campaign.

Note: Creating space is not procrastination. And it’s not a distraction from the process of creating whatever you want to create during the shutdown. It’s part of the process.

3. Sit, then journal, to get clear on your focus. And do it in that order. Create the space in your daily household routine to sit in quiet meditation for at least five minutes in the morning, when you’re unlikely to be disturbed.

You can invite inspiration and clarity on exactly what you want to create and what your next steps should be by meditating on the mantras: “I’m willing” and “I’m open.”

Then, grab your journal and start writing, freely. Just do a brain dump. Bad grammar, bad spelling, incomplete sentences: it’s all good.

It’s all helpful to write out any old grudges and grievances, ruminations about things past, fears, worries, and anxieties about the future. When you get all of those swirling subjects out of your mind and leave them on the page, you’ll be surprised at how many clear, inspired ideas will come next.

Write them down, too. And within a few minutes or a few days, you’ll know what project you want to focus on first. Maybe it’s your book or a passion project you’ve never had time for, or maybe you just want to do some self-discovery, finish a course you started or get your taxes done.

All are worthy. But just choose one, to start.

4. Take inspiration from the monks. I’m deeply inspired by monks of various faiths who live whole lives of devotion, for decades on end. We can learn how to devote ourselves to a practice or a project from them, by taking some cues from how they live and work:

Take vows. Get ruthless with your focus, and just pick a single project you commit to work on until it’s done. Make a commitment to yourself that you’ll devote a specific amount of time to it every day or week throughout the shutdown. And make sure the people in your life know that you need to turn inward for that time every week. I live with a two-year-old, so generally put in my focused writing time after the baby goes to bed or before she wakes up.

Create a sacred place. Don’t work on your laptop on the couch, amidst the children’s toys and schmutz. Dedicate a specific, physical space in your home to this project and your materials, and make it beautiful: light a candle, get your favorite warm beverage and keep it sacred so you’re more likely to go there and dive deep.

And create sacred space. You need to create a sacred space for this project in your head, your heart and your calendar. Actually put your work sessions on the calendar for at least the next few weeks, and if you finish the project before then, you can start on another!

When you sit down to start on your project, take a moment, pray, do a few affirmations or set your intentions for the day’s allotment of focused time. Light a candle, play some focus music, and then… away you go.

This pandemic will leave millions of broken hearts and dreams in its wake.

And like every unwanted experience, it also creates opportunities for more awakening, more growth, and more actualization of your potentials and less hesitation to answer your callings.

But first, rest.

And be gentle and easy with yourself all along the way.