#i was holding the chub on my stomach a few weeks ago!

[spencerlouis]

Chubby Spencer with Hotch gaining some weight too

Spencer looked in the mirror and sighed, he gripped his tummy and gave it a jiggle, upset that it was something he could actually do. Ever since Hotch and him had started dating, Spencer had started putting on weight. He noticed it a few weeks ago when he couldn’t squeeze himself into his pants anymore, he knew they had been getting a bit tight but he hadn’t really thought about it. He had weighed himself and discovered he was over 200 pounds, which made him feel incredibly self-conscious. He told himself he was going to diet but as he looked in the mirror it was obvious he had not followed through with that, if anything he had put on a little more. 

Spencer rushed to throw a shirt on when he heard the front door open and Hotch called out his name. 

“There you are,” Hotch said, giving him a smile as he entered the room, “I got the snacks.”

Spencer's stomach dropped as he remembered, Hotch had gone out to get them some snacks for their movie night. Spencer briefly considered coming up with an excuse as to why they couldn’t have their movie night but decided against it when he remembered how excited Hotch had been for them to have a night together. Jessica had even taken Jack for the night.

Spencer piled up the blankets on the couch as Hotch poured the chips and candy into bowls. They were soon cuddled up on the couch, surrounded by blankets. Spencer would move Hotch’s hand away every time he tried to touch his stomach or soft sides. This filled Hotch with confusion, as well as the fact that Spencer wasn’t eating any of the snacks.

“Spence,” Hotch whispered, after Spencer had once again redirected his hand.

“Yeah,” Spencer responded, looking at Hotch with his beautiful honey eyes. 

“Why won’t you let me touch you, is everything okay?” Hotch worried, his brows furrowed. 

“Everything’s fine,” Spencer tried to assure him, but Hotch studied his face and saw the way Spencer avoided looking at him and the pinkness of his cheeks.

“No it isn’t,” he stated, “if everything were fine, you wouldn’t be shoving my hands away when I try to hold you or not eating the snacks,” as Hotch said it, realisation filled his eyes. 

“Would it have anything to do with this,” Hotch questioned as he lovingly sneaked his hands under Spencer’s shirt and squeezed his chubby tummy. Spence pulled away, ducking his head as his cheeks turned red. 

Hotch chuckled, “you don’t have to be insecure. I think it’s pretty cute on you.”

Spencer looked at Hotch with wide eyes, “you don’t think I should lose weight?” he asked, shock evident in his voice.

Hotch shook his head, “Of course not! Besides I’m not exactly in the position to be talking about anyone’s weight,” Hotch joked, as Spencer shot him a confused look.

“What do you mea-” Spencer’s question was cut off by Hotch lifting up his shirt, where a pudgy tummy had formed. Spencer reached out his hands and felt it, he could tell his stomach was plumper than Hotch’s. “Do you think I should lose weight?” Hotch’s voice interrupted his thoughts.

“What?!” Spencer exclaimed, “No!?”

“See? You don’t care that I gained weight and I don’t care that you gained weight,” Hotch stated, gently bouncing Spencer’s stomach.

Spencer blushed and looked down, “but I gained more than you.” Spencer watched the way Hotch bounced his belly with insecurity.

“So? I love your body just the way it is,” Hotch told him, “wouldn't you love my body if I had a larger stomach?”

“Of course,” Spencer responded. 

“Well, don’t you see I love your body then?”

“I guess,” Spencer said, biting his lip as he reached out and gave Hotch’s stomach a squeeze. 

“Besides,” Hotch added, “I really like having something soft to hold onto.” He moved his hands to Spencer’s plush love handles, with a smirk. 

Spencer smiled and grabbed the chub at Hotch’s sides, “I do too.”

If anyone wants to send me chubby Louis Tomlinson or chubby Spencer Reid concepts, ideas, or requests you can. The only thing I don’t want is anything with full on s3x and outright f33derism. Any ship is fine as well.

Also feel free to ask me questions as long as they are respectful

[untaemedqueen]

The Lions Den

Mafia!Jiminx Wife!Reader

Genre: Mafia!AU, Smut, Fluff, Angst

Chapter 18.

Warnings: Smut, Blood, Guns, Knives, Excessive Cursing, Excessive Alcohol Intake, Smoking (Cigarettes and Cigars), Mental Health Issues

Warnings In This Chapter: Some Good Ol’ Angst, Angry!Jimin, Jealous!Jimin, Fluff, Blood, Children’s Body Parts

A/N: Guys, ILY. Shout out to my forever squad @ppersonna​, @xjoonchildx​, @ladyartemesia​.

TagList- @ayyyocee​, @mysugabear03, @wisebtsgot7prune​, @imaforeigner​, @yeonkiminnie​, @stories1907​, @ppersonna​, @brilee64​, @gooplibrary​, @vivpurple7​, @xjoonchildx​, @brightwingr5​, @yaniposts22​, @rjsmochii​, @taeslittletiger​, @pjmcth​, @bts-chub​, @kpoppingthempills, @kim-ji-hyeons-world​, @jikooksgirl19​, @yoong-i​, @ruinsofangels​, @absolutefantrash​, @chiminies-noona​, @eclectically-esoteric​, @simplybree​, @outrofenty​, @yxnxxli​​

4 weeks before Casino Night

It's like a terminal disease, eating it's way through your home. It's taking members of your family in the night. The heartache, the silence, the suffering. 

It's like when you have the flu. All of your senses have become dim. Your ears feel muffled, you can't smell properly, can't even taste. 

And, sickness always gets worse before it gets better. 

You've been distant from your husband lately. Or rather, he's been distant from you.

He's been working to keep the pain and misery away but you can understand him. He finds the calming sense of relief only when he lays his head on the pillow beside you before sleeping.

Entering the kitchen, his eyes drift over to you before kissing your temple as you lean against the white countertop.

His eyes fall to your protruding stomach before ripping them away and pouring himself a cup of coffee.

"Good morning." You whisper as your hands cup the black ceramic of your teacup.

"Morning, Kitten." He murmurs before taking a sip of coffee and looking out the window above the sink to the luscious backyard.

He has always had this never ending guilt when it comes to you and his family. There's always something to blame him for but now, he knows how close he is to ending it-- he can't feel the guilt, only the sense of waiting.

"The baby moved this morning."  You notify him as he stares off into the distance.

He's been keeping distant with your children too. Like he doesn't want to relish in something that could disappear within moments.

"Oh good. She's healthy then." He says before clearing his throat.

You hum in agreement as you stand up tall. Your hand lands on your stomach and you catch him looking at you out of the corner of his eye.

"She's moving now if you want to feel it." You tell him as you set your cup down on the counter.

His fingers grip tighter at his own cup before clearing his throat. 

"Nah. I gotta….Gotta get ready for today's job. I'm going to be busy all day." He whispers, his voice sounding strained and displaced.

His words don't hurt you, they make you feel sorry for him. Truly. To not even be able to relish in a smidgeon of happiness is heart wrenching.

But, you can understand. You avoided him for so long when you felt like you were letting him down just a few months ago. And, you know that no matter what happens he'll always find his way back to you. Because, you're both tethered to each other like fate.

"Alright. Well we love you." You tell him before walking around the large marble island and kissing his cheek. His eyes flutter shut as your distended belly presses to his side.

"I love you, too Kitten. Always. You know that." His hand leaves the cup for a fraction of a second before gripping it again.

"I'm going to stay home today, the baby is making me feel queasy." You tell him before patting his bicep.

"Do you...Do you want me to get you anything?" 

You turn to him as you walk backwards. 

"Just come home safe. That's all I want." You reply before heading towards the staircase.

You pace the home office as Namjoon sits in the big armchair behind the desk.

"I mean there has to be something to it, right? Some sort of clue." You say aloud as you perch your hand below your chin.

He kicks his feet up on the desk as he stares at the stock card. You both have been obsessed with this letter for a while now. Only you, Namjoon and Yoongi have discussed this in private. They were the two that were around you the most frequently. 

"I don't know, there should be something but I've cross referenced both of the Im twins handwriting and it's not theirs. I had it professionally checked." Namjoon says as he takes off his glasses. He dabs the bridge of his nose with the back of his hand before setting down the threat note on the desk.

You grunt in frustration, your hand faltering to your stomach as your daughter flutters about inside you.

"There just has to be something. It's too...neat. Too weird, y'know?" You ask the now blue haired man as he hums in agreement.

"Hey, Y/N. We're gonna get these guys, alright? We will." Your friend promises as he puts his glasses back on.

You sit down in the large armchair as your eyes flit from his to the note on the desk.

"Something is off. Just not right and I can't put my finger on it. I know this card means something. I feel like I'm having deja vu. Like I've seen it before." 

This peaks Joon's interest and he leans his elbows on the table as he presses his body to the desk.

"You've never told me that before." He says as he interlocks his fingers.

"Yeah. Well I've been having a lot of time to think since I don't spend time with my husband anymore." You snap at him, your eyes narrowing at the handsome man.

He clears his throat before nodding. 

"Yeah. I get it. I'm sorry." He whispers as you look at the stained glass window.

You can see the rain drops as they lazily roll down the colored glass. You run your tongue over your teeth before putting your hand to your forehead. 

There's silence for a while. A long while in fact. But, it's peaceful.

Namjoon clears his throat again before shifting in the large chair.

"Does he...talk about what's bothering him? Doesn't he open up?" You snort at his question before rolling your head to him, your hair falling over your shoulder as you sigh.

"Not since he opened up the Bullet Box." You reply, referencing to the gun compartment inside your room.

He sighs loudly before putting his hands on his face. 

"We're like fucking drowning over here. We're so in the dark and now's the time where he has no plan?" You shrug and shake your head in confusion before looking back at the window.

At least you could confide in Joon, he's a good listener and impartial to everyone's feelings.

"We can't have a plan if we don't know what's going on. And, he thinks Casino Night is going to magically save him." You reply finally.

He lets out a disbelieving chuckle as he puts his hands on the sides of his head.

"Yeah well we need a real plan. Having all the lions in here is nice but we need a legitimate, unfailing plan." You nod as a raindrop slides down the sparrow's face on the stained glass window.

"Yes. We do." You reply as you close your eyes.

Your house was so stuffed full of people, it was almost becoming claustrophobic. The amount of times you’ve had to tell lions to put things down or not touch something was really getting under your skin. 

They’re smart and fast when it comes to their jobs but dumb and slow on picking up how to be people. You’re beginning to think anyone with a bloodthirsty drive just gets a red hot poker to the back of their neck without any initiation or interview. 

“Good evening Madam.” You hear from the kitchen as you sit on the couch in the sitting room. 

You look up as Sanghoon enters the room. 

There was just something about this guy that you adored. He kind of reminds you of Minseok in a way. He’s young, about eighteen or nineteen and has a smile that just lights up the room. He could have been an idol or something glamorous like that with his handsome features but he started working for you and your husband about two years ago. 

“Hoonie.” You say happily as you close the book you’ve been reading. 

Don’t get it twisted, you miss your kids around but some silence is nice too.

“I’d offer you some but you can’t.” He says as he holds up his beer with a smirk. 

You pat the spot beside you on the couch as you rest your arm atop the lip. Folding your arm at the elbow, you press your palm to your temple as he walks over.

His strides are confident and calculated and it makes you smirk. When he first came to you guys he had a lot to learn. He was just a pickpocket on the streets of Seoul then. He had no family, no money or assets. And, now he walks around in Versace with the confidence of a thousand CEOs. 

“Must be nice to not have idiots around touching all your shit, huh?” He asks with a chuckle as he sits down beside you. 

You tuck your legs beneath you as you turn your body to him. You give a laugh at his comment before nodding as your eyes drift around the paintings that line the walls.

“Yeah, you’re right. It is. If I see another moron break an expensive vase I’ll shoot them myself.” You jeer making him laugh.

“You just let me know who it is, Vixen. I’ll take care of them. You shouldn’t overwork yourself in your state.” He says before taking a sip of his beer.

You raise your eyebrows at him before laughing. 

“Oh really now, and who is it that taught you how to shoot when she was nine months pregnant with her son?” You ask, putting your hand over your heart daintily. 

He holds his hands up with a smile before tilting his head.

“You’re right. You’re right. My bad. You can take care of ‘em on your own. I’m just saying...you shouldn’t have to.” He whispers. You hum to him as he leans in closer to you before putting his temple on the couch.

“You’ve been like an older sister to me, noona. Thanks. It means a lot.” He says sincerely as his fingertip circles rings around the beer bottle opening. 

You snort gently before ruffling his hair. The front door opens and you turn your head to the noise. Your husband steps inside with a grocery bag and his eyes narrow at Sanghoon on the couch beside you.

“Hi, baby.” You say with a smile. He purses his lips before drawing his gun and setting the bag down on the table beside the door.

“Hi, wife. What are you doing up so late with my daughter in your belly?” He asks as he holds the gun up.

You roll your eyes, earning widening eyes from him.

“Waiting for you and talking to Hoonie.” You say confused as you tilt your head out of his gun's way.

“Hoonie. Is it?” He asks through clenched teeth as Sanghoon begins to stutter.

“You got a speech impediment, boy? Stammering and shit. You tryina fuck my pregnant wife?” Jimin asks loudly as he steps down the entryway steps. 

“N-No! No Boss! I was thanking Y/N noona for taking me in.” Your husband hums loudly as Sanghoon stands up.

“Oh, babe. Come on. He’s just a kid. Don’t be like that.” You say as he cocks the gun. 

Jimin rolls his head on his shoulder before stepping around the arm chair. The only distance between him and the younger man is the length of the coffee table at their feet. 

“I like you Sanghoon. You’re grown up well in my family but that doesn’t mean you can be overly friendly with my wife. Do you understand me?” You flinch at his words before looking up at Sanghoon with sorry eyes as he whimpers beneath the gaze of the gun. 

“Y-Yes Boss. I’m so sorry. I won’t- I’ll never-”

“Get out of my fucking sight before I shoot you.” Jimin sneers before uncocking his gun.

“Okay. Bye noona!” He says quickly before scurrying back into the kitchen and down the stairs. 

You stare at your husband as he begins to pull off his tie with angry hands. 

“That was so unnecessary. You scared him!” You admonish your husband as you stand up.

He chuckles to himself before looking down at you as he tosses his tie onto the armchair behind him.

“You were petting him like a fucking dog, Kitten. You think that’s not going to boil my blood? You want him to come back up and eat your pregnant cunt? Cause I’ll leave you two alone.” He says holding his hands up. You can hear the droll venom encased in his voice and it sends you standing on your toes in front of him in seconds.

“Don’t you fucking dare. You’ve been ignoring me for a month now, maybe more. And, now’s the time when you get macho husband on me? I don’t think so, Jimin. Quit it.” You say as you shove past him. 

His hand catches your wrist quickly before pulling you into his arms. His hands become steady on your shoulders as he bends down to your height.

“You do understand that any man in any vicinity of you is going to set me off. Don’t you? He was looking at you like he wanted to fuck you. Pregnant with my baby or not. You’re my wife. You’re mine.” He says, staring into your eyes as his thumbs rub comforting strokes on your bare skin.

“Plus you had your tits practically out in this nightgown.” He murmurs as his eyes flicker to the swell of your breasts below the blood red silk. 

“Yeah, well I’m married. You should trust me, idiot.” You say angrily. You’re taking it all in though before he goes quiet on you again for an extended period of time. You’re taking in the way he rubs your skin with his thumbs. Taking in the loving gaze he bores into your body. Everything.

You miss it. You miss him.

“I do trust you, baby. It’s any other man with a dick that I don’t trust.” He says softly and you want to mewl at his words. 

All of a sudden he’s in your space again and you’ve been dying for him to be. You’ve missed him so dearly it almost makes you weep.

“Well I’d never do anything to lose you or your trust.” You whisper as you put your hand to your stomach.

His eyes follow your hand before biting at his bottom lip nervously.

“She’s moving around? The little peanut?” He asks as he lets you go. 

That was the first time you’ve heard his adorable nickname for his new child. Hawon was little bean. Minseok was little man and now your newest daughter is little peanut. 

“Yeah, she’s moving a lot.” You tell him, in hopes that he might react in some way for you to gauge just how close he’s going to let you become again.

He nods and his fingers flex uncomfortably like he wants to touch you. 

"You can touch her if you want to. I'm sure she'd like it." Your voice sounds hopeful and you mentally chide yourself for it.

He begins to unbutton his black dress shirt as he steps away from you. 

"I brought you home some of those ginger lollipops you like for when you feel sick and some more Tums for your heart burn." He says as he walks towards the entryway.

Wishful thinking you suppose as you follow behind him. 

Laying down in bed, the second your head hits the pillow you're yawning loudly and turning onto your side. 

Planting a pillow beneath your stomach you murmur to your husband, "I love you."

He looks up from the armchair by the chess table before running his hand over his face.

"I love you, too Kitten. Good night." You hear the self admonishing in his tone and even though you close your eyes you stay awake for a while.

Just being in the same room with him for now is comfy enough.

Behind black eyelids, the bed dips on his side. 

He stares at your face, sighing gently to himself as he looks over your features. 

He runs a hand over your cheek as he lays down beside you. 

"God. You feel like a million miles away from me." He mutters as he leans in to you.

His plush lips kiss your forehead and linger for a while. 

From your cheek, his hand slowly glides down your shoulder to your stomach.

This was why you stayed awake, even if he doesn't know it. It feels good to have him here again, with you again.

"Hi my little peanut." He whispers softly as he slides down the bed. He rests his head on the pillow under your stomach as he stares at your growing bump.

"Mommy's been taking good care of you. You're getting so big." He mumbles as he presses his lips to your belly. 

You open one eye and smile as he rubs your stomach.

"I'm sorry daddy hasn't been around, it's not fair to you," You can feel the fluttering in your stomach and you know he does as well as he sighs, "I know. I'm sorry. I missed you. I'm just afraid right now. But, mommy is strong enough for the both of us." 

You close your open eye as you begin to drift off to sleep.

"You know I love you, your siblings and your mommy more than anything, don't you?" You hear him ask softly as you fall asleep.

Waking up, you pretend like you didn't witness what happened last night. Certainly because Jimin makes it seem like it never happened.

Stepping out of bed, you stretch as he puts on his suit pants.

"Morning." You mumble, wiping the bleary sleep from your eyes.

"Morning, baby." He whispers before walking past you into the walk in closet.

You roll your eyes with a sigh before taking off to the bathroom. 

You just have to let him come around. That's all there is to it.

"BOSS!" The scream is shrill and it aches your heart as you both peak out of the rooms you're in before looking at each other.

"MADAM!" You rush out of the bathroom in mere seconds. Grabbing your gun from the night table before ripping open the bedroom door.

Your husband is hot on your heels as you run down the hallway and down the stairs. 

"What?! What's wrong?!" You yell as you reach the second landing.

"Hey Y/N. Take it easy." Taehyung says cautiously from the doorway.

"What is it?!" Jimin yells loudly as you finally reach the entryway.

Some lions move out of the way for you both as Taehyung sets a white cardboard box on the ground.

Your heart picks up, "Body parts?" You ask as he steps away from the box with his hand over his heart.

Jimin puts his hand on the small of your back as you bend down to open the box.

"Just relax, Y/N." Taehyung calls cautiously, earning a raised eyebrow from your husband.

Opening the box, you let out a strangled scream as children's body parts sit inside of the box. 

"Fuck!" Jimin curses as he slams the lid out of your hands and back onto the box.

Your body falters, falling to the ground as you widen your eyes.

"Baby." Jimin whispers worriedly as he hoists you back up. Your eyes flicker to Hyunah's mansion down the road and you take off without a second though.

"KITTEN!" He yells as he starts to run behind you. 

You can feel your chest tightening, sobs ripping from your throat as you barrel down the long stretch of gravel.

Your bare feet ache and get cut up by the small black stones but you keep running, the adrenaline pulsing through your veins like a hot fire.

Jimin catches up with you easily, he stays quiet as you run. His hands carding through his black hair.

Reaching the large gates of her home, you shove them open quickly. Your bloody feet leave marks on her concrete path as you rush to the entrance.

Two Lee men stand at the front door before standing up straighter as you approach.

"Madam, Sir."

"MOVE!" You bellow at the top of your lungs. Their eyes widen as they slowly move out of your way.

You open the door quickly, your eyes scanning the large living room before looking out the large windows to her pool.

You can hear small giggles from the backyard and you sob loudly as you run past Hyunah's butler.

"Hawon! Minseok!" You scream as you rush past the kitchen to the open doors.

Hyunah turns her head to the scream as she sits up in her chaise lounge.

"Whoa. You guys okay?" Yoongi asks while burning out his cigarette as you step out onto the back patio. 

Your eyes scan the backyard quickly before a wave of relief runs through you.

"Oh my God! Come here!" You call to your children as you rush off of the stone patio to the pool.

"Mommy!" Hawon cheers and you pull her and Minseok into your arms as fast as you can. 

"Jisuk, come here baby!" You call to your nephew who smiles widely at his name passing through your lips. 

Jimin crouches down beside you wiping his face of his tears. 

"My babies." He whispers before hugging Minseok close to his body.

Jimin's index finger crooks under your chin before pulling your face towards his. He presses his lips firmly to yours as you coddle your daughter to your chest.

"Thank God you're safe." You whisper as she hugs you back.

Whose child was in that box? Who is going through a heartbreak that cannot be foretold? You pity them but you're happy your family is safe.

[pangtasias-atelier]

A Good Start to the New Year

So this story involving Keaton and Kaden has been in my WIPs for like a month. This was originally planned to be like a series based on FEH seasonal banners, but I absolutely hate the Plegian banner and the Valentine’s units + designs I hate so I lost all care and now this is a small ficlet meant to be of some chub on the smaller scale. But I absolutely loved Kaden’s and Keaton’s new years alts, especially how easily mergeable they were. 

“H-hey! What’re you doing?” Back pressed up against a wall, Keaton stubby tail refuses to budge much like the rest of his body. Unable to wag it, his tail is unnecessary in giving away his excitement from Kaden near assaulting him, his bashfully red face betraying him instead. That and Keaton refusing to fight back much, the wolfskin easily able to take on the overeager kitsune.

“Making sure we match!” Kaden sticks out his tongue as if creating a masterpiece. Holding Keaton against the wall with his body, his New Years kimono remains slightly open as ever, the creamy soft lines of his chest easily visible to Keaton. Grabbing Keaton’s kimono, Kaden opens it up. “There!” He nimbly jumps back despite the few extra pounds on his frame. The extra camera weight is somewhat noticeable with Kaden always sporting a svelte body; however, all it amounts to is a slight paunch. Kaden’s attire is as overly revealing as ever. The upper bits of his slightly faded abs reveal themselves.

Keaton stares down. Not at Kaden’s modification to his outfit, but at Kaden himself. Unable to resist egging on Kaden for extra treats, the extra heft had made itself known to both Kaden and Keaton a week or so ago. Yet, Kaden never made a comment on Keaton’s overeager offering of snacks. Neither did he so much as lift a finger to stop, Kaden eagerly accepting all the snacks Keaton dared him to eat or the snacks he argued he had to taste to see how delicious it was. Their time in Askr the shortest of any other heroes, the two summoned together, the extra heft on Kaden is rather minimal. Though Keaton’s mind envisions a much more plump, wider Kaden, his constant daydreams and dreams giving him all the motivation he needs to offer up another snack to Kaden whenever he can.

“How do you like my magic?” Kaden’s selfsure attitude brings Keaton’s brain back to Askr. Smiling smugly, Kaden’s ears twitch as his eyes roam over Keaton’s body. Keaton originally wearing his outfit modestly, Kaden figured a little “touchup” wouldn’t hurt. Opening up Keaton’s outfit so his chest and abs would greet the world, the showing of Keaton’s softening chest and fading abs was a pleasant treat. A treat he planted himself with all the snacks he offers to Keaton, Keaton devouring all of them with utter joy.

“Hey, I look good,” Keaton’s self suredness matching Kaden’s own, Keaton rests both of his fists on his plush love handles.

“Yeah, your tail already told me that,” Snickering, Kaden yelps as Keaton charges at him.

“Lemme grab your tail and we’ll see whose is wagging!” Keaton’s face is a furious shade of red. His eyebrows are downturned, yet his tail continues to wag.

“I combed my tail!” Kaden hugs his tail to his chest. Used to feeling the soft luxurious locks lining his tail, he feels zero discomfort or itch from it. Instead, he holds his long tail protectively, nimbly taking a few steps back or to the side everytime Keaton swipes at him. Kaden’s eyes focus more on Keaton’s bare skin than his actual attempt to grab him. The slight softness to his frame causes his lips to upturn.

Keaton’s eyes focus on the same aspects of Kaden’s bare skin rather than the direction of his movements. A grin on his face as well, the expended energy adds a slight flushness to his skin, Keaton beginning to gain the onset of a huff by the time Kaden soon tires out as well.

“Give up?” Any intention of sounding menacing is lost upon the heavy breath that rushes past Keaton in hopes of regaining the bit of breath he lost earlier.

“You already did,” Kaden mimics Keaton, his brows furrowed as he stares back at Keaton. Also like Keaton, Kaden’s vibrant energy putters out for a moment in order to muster up the lost energy from the two’s playing.

“I did not,” The more tired of the two, Keaton eventually gives in and rests a hand on the wall, slightly bent to the side while his cheeks puff out every so often.

“I think you did,” Clearing his throat, Kaden hiding his last huff behind the noise, he saunters up to Keaton. “Just admit it,” His tail swishes behind him as he places two fingers on Keaton’s chest. He traces both of them down to Keaton’s faded abs without losing a single second of eye contact. “Your eating is catching up to you,”

Aware of the slight extra heft on his body, Keaton had never truly examined himself quite the same way he did with Kaden’s body, his mind much more interested in Kaden’s bit of pudge. "And yours isn't?" Grinning, Keaton slots both hands underneath Kaden's soft tummy.

The fur on the tip of Kaden's tail stands upright upon Keaton's hands on his stomach. "What if it is?" Kaden gives a small pout.

Keaton remains silent for a brief moment. The blush adorning his face burns brighter as he considers his words. "W-well, it certainly doesn't look bad on you," Keaton shrugs his shoulders as his eyes focus on the air beside Kaden's face.

"Good, cause I think you look great with some extra weight on you," Sneakily grinning, Kaden holds Keaton's face. His right thumb rubs Keaton's squishy cheeks while his left hand scritches as Keaton's ear.

"Damn you," Keaton scowls for a moment before leaning in towards Kaden's affection.

"You can't outsmart me," Stopping, Kaden steps beside Keaton and wraps his arm with his own.

"I can't outeat you either," Keaton grumbles. He looks up to find Kaden's incredulous face staring back at him, Kaden's mouth agape.

"Well, I just have a finer appreciation of food!" Kaden splutters. "And to think I had a nice dinner planned for us,"

"Dinner at midnight?" Keaton makes a visible face despite the audible swishing of his tail making itself known.

"Knew you'd prefer that over a fireworks show," At that sudden moment, Kaden's stomach grumbles.

"You're doing this for yourself too," Grinning, Keaton grabs Kaden's hand. Sniffing the air, his tail begins to wag faster as he gets a trail. Leading the way, Keaton pauses at random intervals to smell. Taking a few turns and walking forward, Keaton grins as the scent leads him back to their shared room. Opening the door, their room is comprised of a king sized bed and a decently sized dining area. A relatively large table is in the corner with two chairs. However, the table is currently overflowing with food, the entirety of its surface covered by dishes.

"Oh. This is a lot," Keaton's tongue sticks out as he grins.

"Had to start the New Year right," Kaden leans into Keaton's quick petting.

Removing his hands from Kaden as quick as he put them on him, Keaton leads Kaden to their table. Pulling the chair back, he waits for Kaden to sit down before pushing the chair back in. Leaning down, Keaton gives Kaden a peck on the cheek. He rushes to his own seat, nearly slamming down on the chair.

"To the New Year!" Kaden cheers while smiling at Keaton.

"To the New Year," Keaton repeats, his own smile mirroring Kaden's.

The two picking up their forks, they giddily dig into their feast, the first of many for the year.

[solastia]

Day Five: Corset - Namjoon & Jungkook

Notes: So yeah, it’s basically Corsetry + Namtiddies kink *shrug* Also, this is sorta...soft smut? They don’t actually fuck, but it’s about the lead to the kink itself, I guess. 

****

It had started out simple enough. He’d been looking at the photos from the last event and had noticed a trend with the fan’s point of focus - Namjoon’s chest. And honestly, he’d noticed the changes in his boyfriend’s body and had even helped by pulling him into workout sessions with him, but the size of his chest had never really been something he’d specifically focused on before. 

However, the pictures made them impossible to ignore. The way they puffed out when he was particularly proud of something, the way they got pushed up and together when he crossed his arms, the way they were big enough to jiggle a bit when he shook someone’s hand. 

So Jungkook had gotten lost in an internet spiral of pictures leading to his current predicament. 

See, they had a rule. Don’t look at fanart. 

The ones that they were specifically tagged in or even handed during fansigns were fine. They were usually just one of their faces. But he knew that fanart could be...explicit. And the thought of even seeing Jin hyung’s dick anywhere near him - even as a drawing - was enough to make him want to lose his breakfast. 

So he should have known better when he clicked the Namtiddies tag on twitter. 

He’d worked his way through the tag though, trying to ignore the ones that depicted his man with the other members and peeking guiltily at the “Namkook” ones. And then...he saw it. 

It was rather tame compared to some of the art he’d seen and featured Namjoon alone. The art itself was absolutely stunning and showed a massive amount of talent. The colors were rich jewel tones with a muted lighting to give the impression of seduction. Namjoon hyung lay sprawled across a heap of black satin with his arms above his head as he stared at the viewer like he was daring them to look away. 

But the focus of the piece had obviously been the purple corset strapped to his torso, pushing his chest up to where they looked like a pair of plump tits. It was also more than that for Jungkook. He liked the way the corset flared over his hyung’s hips, the way it accentuated his already tiny waist which only seemed to make the rest of him look so strong and thick. 

In short, that picture had fucked him up. It had been all he could think of for weeks. Every time he’d hug his boyfriend he’d wonder what it would be like to feel the fabric under his fingers. He’d chub up every time he had to tie his damn shoes. So it was inevitable really that his dick would go shopping for him and he’d end up where he was today. 

Jungkook sat in his room, spinning on his desk chair as he held the precious item in one hand and scrolled through his phone idly with the other. He’d hardly been able to stop rubbing his thumb all over it since the moment he’d opened the package. 

He’d spent hours on the internet looking for the perfect one, but had gotten so overwhelmed that he just picked something that he thought would be pretty. It was simple enough in design based on all the others he saw. It was an underbust with a double steel boned waist, with lacing all the way down the back. The material was an amethyst-toned satin that he thought would look amazing on his boyfriend. 

He’d spent days watching videos and teaching himself how to tie it up and how to get out of it safely and what to watch for. He’d even - in a burst of brilliance - stolen Jimin’s full-length mirror and set it up across from his bed. 

He now had everything set up - except for the model. He gulped, wondering again how to bring it up with Namjoon without sounding like some weirdo perv. It wasn’t even that big a deal, he thought. Just trying on some clothes. 

“Kook? Everything good?” 

Jungkook jumped when the deep voice finally registered, squeaking (manfully) as he tried to hide what was in his hands. 

“Hyung, what are you doing here?” 

Namjoon raised an eyebrow as he closed the door behind him and lifted his phone. “You texted me. Thought you wanted to show me something. Isn’t that what a key smash means?” 

Jungkook glanced at the phone and groaned internally at the string of letters that certainly looked like they were from him. 

“Sorry, I was lost in thought, must have done that accidentally.” 

“Anything I can help with?” 

Jungkook grabbed that perfect intro instantly. 

“Would you mind trying something on for me?” he blurts, his cheeks flaming. 

Namjoon’s lips tilt up in a smirk. “Oh? Is that what this was about? Let me see.” 

Namjoon reaches out and Jungkook reluctantly hands him the piece. 

“Kook,” Namjoon chuckles lowly as he inspects it. “You know this isn’t my first time wearing a corset. Remember that singles shoot years ago?” 

“Yeah,” he answers shyly (of course he did - he’d just jerked it to that picture two days ago), “But this is a different kind. And umm, I just really think you’d look beautiful.” 

Namjoon glances over at him, his gaze calculating. “Yeah? Hmm,” he hums, holding it away from him to look it over. “It looks pretty hardcore.” 

“Um, it’s steel-bone and free lacing in the back. It’s meant to be...tight. Like, it can cut off a lot of breathing. BUT, I watched a lot of stuff and we’ll have a knife nearby to cut the laces if you need it.” 

“You’ve really put a lot of thought into this,” Namjoon murmurs affectionately, smirking at his boyfriend. 

He nods briskly, just the sight of Namjoon holding that purple silk doing something to him already. 

“Yeah, I’ve been thinking about you in it a lot,” he admits. 

Namjoon studies him for a moment and then shrugs, setting the corset on the bed. The he tears off his shirt without another word. Jungkook’s breath hitches, much as it usually when he’s first faced with his boyfriend’s beautiful body. 

“Pants too?” Namjoon asks softly with a coy smile. 

Jungkook swallows and nods, his eyes following the path of the pants until they puddled on the ground. His boyfriend decided to have mercy on him and kick off his boxers too without teasing him first. 

He was still soft, but as Jungkook’s appreciative stare caressed his body, it gave a few interested twitches. 

“Alright, is this thing a set or by itself?” 

“Just the corset,” Jungkook answered quietly. “Is that okay?” 

“It’s your fantasy, baby.” 

Jungkook grins and stands up, grabbing the corset. “In front of the mirror, hyung.” 

“Ohhhh, I heard Jimin bitching about it being missing earlier. Kinky.” 

Jungkook chuckles mischievously and follows Namjoon to the mirror. He peeks over his shoulder as he drapes the front of the corset over Namjoon’s chest. Just the vision of the silk over his skin and the way the cups settled over his chest was exciting. 

“Okay, hyung. Hold onto that for my while I lace you.” 

Namjoon nods and settles his hands onto the silk to hold it in place while Jungkook puts the laces through the first holes. 

“How tight can I do this?” 

“Uh,” Namjoon mumbles thoughtfully, “ not too tight, since I’ve never had a real one on before. But...I want to feel it.” 

The way that Namjoon said that made Jungkook’s eyes fly to the mirror where he observes with awe the way Namjoon is staring at himself in the mirror. He looks more fascinated than indulgent now, his eyes following the way the corset settled on himself. 

Jungkook licks his lips and focuses back on the lacing. “This one,” he notices his voice is strangely deep. “Is just for fun. For trying things out. If you end up liking it, we can get you a waist trainer. It has to be fitted to you.” 

“Yeah? Maybe,” Namjoon answers distractedly, eyes focused on the corset tightening as Jungkook works his fingers up. 

“Mmmhmm. I mean, you already have a small waist, so you don’t really need to change it. But it certainly looks pretty,” Jungkook mumbles. “How does it feel? Too tight?” 

“I can...I can do a little more, I think?” 

“You think, or do you know? Don’t push yourself, hyung.” 

“A little tighter.” 

Jungkook peeks over his boyfriend’s shoulder to get a look, loving the way the corset is starting to pull at his hips and cinch in his waist. He also loves the way Namjoon’s cock is aimed high, pulsing with excitement. 

He grins and goes back to lacing, groaning out loud at how hot it is that he has to really tug hard once he gets closer to his chest. 

Finally done, he pulls back and sits on the bed as he stares at his beautiful boyfriend. The final image is everything he thought it would be. Namjoon stands stall in front of the mirror, the corset caressing his hips and making them stand out. The way it flared even made his ass look generous, something that even he - a thoroughly whipped boyfriend - had to admit was an achievement.

But his fucking chest...

The corset had pushed his meaty pecs up to the point that Jungkook could easily grab full handfuls. He stared as they jiggled from the way Namjoon had to adjust his breathing. 

“How does it look?” 

Jungkook pulled his eyes to Namjoon’s in the mirror, the other looking at him almost shyly. 

“Amazing. You look...so fucking good. Like, look at your hips. And your chest is so fucking juicy.” 

“Who uses juicy for chests, weirdo.” 

“I dunno, hyung. They look juicy to me. Wanna bite them.” 

Namjoon smirks. “I bet.” 

“How do you feel?” Jungkook asks. 

“I feel...sexy. Powerful,” he answers slowly, looking at himself. He flattens a hand against his stomach. “And yet...I like the way it makes me feel...constrained. Like, I’m...I don’t know. It’s kinda like the feeling I get when I ask you to choke me, you know?” 

“Really? So, you wanna do this again sometime?” Jungkook asks breathlessly, imagining his hyung in more beautiful corsets, all the colors of the rainbow. 

Maybe with matching ropes. 

Namjoon’s hand flies to his groin as he stares silently, kneading absently. “Yeah. I really like it.” 

“Good. Let me take some pictures and then I’m taking that off of you so I can fuck you. I am not getting spunk on fucking silk, hyung.” 

Namjoon chuckles, turning to Jungkook and kissing him roughly. “Okay, baby.” 

[eunsjisoo]

the one i’ve been missing

☆drama: weightlifting fairy kim bok joo 

☆word count: 1.8k

☆genre: fluff and slight angst 

☆a/n: happy holidays @missyriver​!! (and sorry that this is so late). i hope you had a good year, and i hope you enjoy this short piece of holiday fluff (that is slightly angsty). this is lowkey inspired by the little mix song.

Bok Chicken was bustling with festive energy, the sounds of laughter, bickering and music filling the air. Bok Joo couldn’t help but feel at home as she looked around the restaurant. She watched with a fond smile on her lips as her father and uncle bickered over the stove, arguing over who was better at cooking. She watched Seon Ok, Nan Hee and Tae Kwon huddled in the corner, chatting and laughing at Tae Kwon antics. Even Joon Hyung’s family was there, cooing over Jae Yi and Ah Young’s baby girl and admiring the trophies and photos of Bok Joo from her childhood. For the first time in months, she was back home with her family.

But there was one person missing, and try as she might to ignore it, Bok Joo couldn’t help but feel his absence. It had been at least 2 weeks since she had last seen him in person. Between their training and competition schedules, they barely got to see each other. When she was in Korea, he would be on the other side of the world competing in a competition, and vice versa. Sure, they spoke to each other on a daily basis, and even video called each other when they missed each other too much, but it wasn’t the same as actually being together. This had been the longest they’ve gone without seeing each other face to face and boy, did she miss him.

“Bok Joo-yah?”

Bok Joo shook herself out of her thoughts, looking up from her glass to see who had called her.

Nan Hee looked at her, with her usual happy virus smile on her face. “Are you ok? You’ve been quiet all night. It’s unlike you.”

Bok Joo pushed the brightest smile she could muster on her face, “Of course I am! Why wouldn’t I be ok?”

Nan Hee smiled softly, knowing that Bok Joo was putting on a brave face, so she grabbed Bok Joo’s hand, “Ok, come join us then. Tae Kwon thinks he can beat Seon Ok in a drinking competition.”

“Why does he bother?” Bok Joo laughed, “She beats him at every challenge he makes.”

Nan Hee laughed along with her, as they walked over to the couple. “I don’t know, maybe he just wants to win against her once.”

“She should just let him win.” Bok Joo said, shaking her head with a smile on her face as she watched the couple line up their shot and beer glasses. 

“Seon Ok would never do that.” Nan Hee said, as she grabbed the soju and beer bottles from the fridge and placed it on the table. 

Tae Kwon looked up from pouring soju into the shot glasses, as the two women came to their table. “By the way, when is Jung Joon Hyung coming? He’s going to miss watching me beat Seon Ok.” 

“Yah!” Seon Ok and Nan Hee yelled in unison, both turning to look at Bok Joo. 

“It’s ok, girls.” Bok Joo pushed a smile onto her face, and turned to Tae Kwon, “His flight is delayed, so he probably won’t be here until tomorrow.” 

“Ah, sorry.” Tae Kwon rubbed his arm, after Seon Ok had hit him. “I’m sure he’ll be here as soon as he can be.”

“Yah, yah, yah, let’s just start this competition.” Seon Ok said, pushing her boyfriend towards the drinks.

“Ok! Let’s start.” Tae Kwon said, in his usual hyper tone. “Nan Hee, you count down.”

As Nan Hee counted down, Bok Joo couldn’t help but get caught up in the fun of watching the couple competing against each other. She cheered at the top of her lungs with Nan Hee as Seon Ok moved onto her 2nd drink, while Tae Kwon was still on his first drink. Her stomach hurt from laughing so hard when Seon Ok finished her last drink and started doing her victory dance around her boyfriend. Even though he had lost, Tae Kwon looked like he was having the time of his life, as he watched his girlfriend dance around him with a smug smile. 

Once Seon Ok had settled down, she wrapped her arm around Tae Kwon’s shoulder, and said, “Face it, you can’t beat any of us three at drinking.” 

“Ok, ok, I accept that. You three are the queens of drinking, and I will never get to your level.” Tae Kwon jokingly bows down to them. 

The three girls looked at each other with smug smiles. “Swag,” they chorused, making their signature arm movement as they said it. 

After a while of chatting with her friends, Bok Joo saw her dad wave her over. She excused herself and walked over to him. “Bok Joo-yah, can you go outside and get the present I left in the motorbike compartment?”

Bok Joo raised her eyebrows, “What present did you get?”

“It’s a surprise, please get it for me. I need to look after your uncle, otherwise he will burn everything.”

“I heard that. I’m a better cook than you, hyung.”

Bok Joo’s dad rolled his eyes, “According to who?”

“My girlfriend,” Dae Ho smiled, with a lovestruck expression on his face. Bok Joo shared a look with her dad, both cringing from her uncle’s expression. 

“I’m going now.” Bok Joo grabbed a jacket from the hook, and made her way to the front door. 

She stopped outside the door, pulling the jacket closer to her body. The snow crunched under her shoes, as she made her way to where the motorbike was parked. As she opened the compartment at the back of the bike, she felt arms around her waist, causing her to jump and elbow her attacker.

“Oof, yah, it’s just me.” Bok Joo whipped around to see Joon Hyung hunched over, clutching his stomach. 

She stared at him in shock. “Yah, you said you won’t be here until tomorrow.” 

Joon Hyung stood up slowly, as he recovered from the pain of being elbowed by his weightlifter wife,  a bright smile gracing his lips as he took in her appearance. 

“I wanted to surprise you.” Joon Hyung wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close to his chest. He nuzzled into her neck, taking a deep breath as he said, “I missed you.”

Bok Joo smiled, deciding to let go of her annoyance and bask in the moment of being with her husband. “Me too. But you should know better than to scare me like that.”

Joon Hyung pulled away slightly, to look at Bok Joo with a sheepish expression. “Sorry. I must have lost my mind because of the jet lag and hunger.”

Bok Joo giggled, shaking her head. “That’s ok. Let’s go inside and get you some food.”

Bok Joo pulled away from him, and grabbed his gloved hand. As she pulled him towards the door, he couldn’t help himself from saying, “I love you.”

“You should be glad that I love you, otherwise I would have killed you for surprising me like that.”

The two of them dusted the snow off of their jackets, and hung them on the hook, before entering the restaurant. As soon as everyone noticed Joon Hyung trailing behind Bok Joo, they all yelled out in surprise, and rushed to greet and hug him. Bok Joo stood next to him as he hugged each of his family and she couldn’t help but feel like her family was finally complete. A warm feeling settled in her stomach as she watched him carry his niece for the first time, her tiny body completely enveloped his long arms. He would be such a good father, she thought to herself, as she saw the adoration in his eyes when he looked at the child in his arms. Next were their friends, and she laughed as Tae Kwon teasingly punched Joon Hyung for not telling him about his surprise. But her laughter stopped as soon as her friends decided to tease her about how “devastated” she was that Joon Hyung wasn’t going to be there for Christmas.

“Yah, what are you saying? I wasn’t devastated.” Bok Joo defended herself, “I was just a bit sad.”

“But you’re happy now, right, Chubs?” Joon Hyung asked, with a teasing smile on his face.

Bok Joo glared at him, playfully, “no, not at all.”

Before he could make another comment, Bok Joo’s dad interrupted, “Ok everyone sit down, the food is ready.”

Everyone took their seat, and looked in awe at the food the Kim brothers were bringing out, and as soon as everything was set, they all dug into the food.The sounds of laughter and chopsticks hitting against plates filled the restaurant, as everyone caught up with each other, and reminisced about past memories. By the time the plates were cleared, everyone was blissfully full and some were even bordering on drunk. Bok Joo rested her head on Joon Hyung’s shoulder as Nan Hee interrogated Seok Ok and Tae Kwon about their relationship, which they had kept a secret from the rest of the group until a few months ago.

 “Did you know about their relationship, Joon Hyung?”

Bok Joo raised her head slightly to look at Joon Hyung, raising her eyebrow at him. He better not have known and kept it from her.

“I didn’t know, I swear.” 

Bok Joo narrowed her eyes, as she looked for any sign that he was lying. When she was satisfied, she put her head back on his shoulder, and wrapped her arm around his. Joon Hyung held her hand, interlocking their fingers, as Nan Hee turned back to their traitorous friends. Though it wasn’t like Joon Hyung and Bok Joo could hold it against them, since they also kept their relationship a secret. But considering the crap their friends gave them when they found out about their relationship, Bok Joo felt like she should tease Seon Ok and Tae Kwon just as much as they teased her. 

“I thought that we agreed that we won’t keep our relationships a secret from each other, especially after what you said when you found out about my relationship.” Bok Joo sighed dramatically, winking at Nan Hee discreetly, who wholeheartedly joined in on Bok Joo’s teasing. 

 Bok Joo laughed at Seon Ok’s exasperated expression, and she could feel Joon Hyung laugh along with her. He turned his head slightly, to whisper, “Should we make them buy us food like they did to us? Let’s drain Tae Kwon’s bank account.” 

Bok Joo giggled and nodded, “They deserve it.”

Bok Joo looked up, and she felt her heart swell as she locked eyes with Joon Hyung. How he could still make her swoon like a high schooler, after they had been together for years, was a mystery to her. But, boy did she love that feeling: the feeling of home. Because that was what he was to her. Her home. And now that she was home, she didn’t want to leave.

[lihikainanea]

I just want a part 2 to the tummy story. When he comes to her some months later, thicc, strong, healthy with a sunkissed belly and defined v-line. But still eating to much.

Anonymous said: how would tiger react to bill putting on more weight than he expected? not a lot, of course, but to where hes softer than he was before castle rock. would she love it, and would bill be insecure about it?

I cannot BELIEVE ya’ll are just out here every day in your lives, slamming the hell out of my tummy kink button. HOW DARE YOU. This was the original tummy rubbing drabble, and honestly, I just can’t get enough. My heart skips too many beats every time I look at photos from what was the MASTERPIECE of SDCC 2018, with his tiny little double chin and his patterned shirts and his small chubs on the cheeks and that one photo where he’s rubbing/scratching his own tummy in That Way that guys do that basically makes all my lady parts cry.

BUH BYE, WORLD.

***

He pushed his chair away from the table and groaned, lifting his shirt to unbutton his pants before running his hand over his protruding gut.

“Kid, you’ve gotta stop”— he paused, a burp interrupting his sentence—“You’ve gotta stop with all this food.”

“No,” you teased, and you stood from your spot at the table, making your way to him. You climbed gingerly into his lap, looping an arm around his shoulders and brushing the curl back from his forehead as he held onto you, his other hand still rubbing his stomach. You leaned, kissing his nose.

“You come in here after a shoot, a literal bag of bones, sharp angles sticking out of you everywhere, your eyeballs looking ready to fall out of your head, and you expect me not to take drastic measures?” You accused. He rolled his eyes, rubbed at your back affectionately. Hiking his shirt up, you bit your lip in glee when he pointed to his gut, round and soft and bigger than you had ever seen it.

“That was weeks ago, tiger. I think you fixed that pretty quickly,” he grumbled, poking at his own soft spots, “I’m squishy everywhere. I hate this.”

You had to stop yourself from leaning down, nipping a mouthful of his soft stomach, gliding your hands over it and squeezing it gently. And he was right, when he walked into your apartment looking skeletal, you were distraught and afraid to even hug him because he looked so frail. You hated it. His usual hot body temperature was near freezing, he was shivering all the time, and all of his features protruded from his face. His hugs were sharp and not warm the way you were used to, his arms seemed even longer and hanging from thin shoulders, his skin had taken on a pallor you didn’t like. You were pissed.

But a few weeks with you, and he was looking much better. The colour had come back to his cheeks, the hollows filled out, and he was even starting to have a little bump under his chin, a bit of extra fat coming down from his sharp jawline. His shoulders had rounded back out, his biceps filling the sleeves of his t-shirt and the fabric no longer bunched loosely around his back—instead, pulling taught across it whenever he moved. His chest had broadened again, puffing back out, but the part you loved and missed the most—was his stomach. He had always been fit, but there would still be a small, soft patch low beneath his navel that he never got rid of. It was the part he loved having rubbed, the part where he was a little bit ticklish, and the part you loved to nip, grab at. It was gone with how thin he had gotten, but it was back now in abundance. His entire stomach, actually, was carrying more weight than you had seen on him, all soft bits and round edges. You loved it, he hated it, and as much as he loved having his tummy rubbed, every time you went for it he’d hold your hands away, tug his shirt down further. You knew he was a little self-conscious with the weight gain.

You enclosed your hand around his, where it was still rubbing idly at his gut. Intertwining your fingers, you laid a kiss on his lips and smiled down at him, scratching his head.

“I hope you saved room for dessert—” and he groaned, pained—“I made blueberry pie.”

Big, glassy eyes peered up at you, laser focused. His tongue darted out, wetting his bottom lip.

“Is it…is it your grandmother’s recipe?” He asked. You nodded, kissing him again and moving to get off his lap.

“Of course it is. The best one,” you ruffled his hair as he leaned his head back on the chair, groaning in agony.

You took mild pity on him, cutting him a smaller piece and dolloping ice cream on it, sitting back on his lap as he eyed it wearily and locked both of his arms around you.

“We can share it,” you said, and you laughed as he opened his mouth wide for a bite. Humouring him, you scooped some onto a spoon and popped in in his mouth as his eyes closed. He groaned, happily.

“Fucking phenomenal,” he said as he licked his lips, keeping his eyes closed but opening his mouth for another bite. You couldn’t resist, instead covering his mouth with yours for a solid kiss as he let out a surprised squeak. He smirked when you pulled away, his eyes still closed.

“That tastes even better than the blueberry pie,” he mumbled. It earned him another kiss, and you couldn’t help your gaze from falling to his waist, to where his pants were still unbuttoned, his shirt pulled tightly over the small bulge of his distended gut. You reached for it, a gentle hand just barely placed on it before he swooped in and laced his fingers with yours, placing your intertwined hands on your thigh instead.

Determined—because it really was beautiful, and for as much as Bill loved having his tummy rubbed, you had developed quite an affinity for rubbing it as well—you tried again as he was getting ready for bed. He was sleepy, his eyes starting to close by themselves as he went through his night time routine. Changing into lounge pants and a long sleeved shirt—his body temperature still hadn’t quite come back to normal—you bit your lip at how snug the shirt was on him. It hugged his chest, but it hugged his stomach even more—a bump protruding and clearly visible right above the line of his pants.

You spoke, before he caught you ogling in the doorway.

“Bill,” you said, and he jumped a little at your voice. Looking at you, he moved the toothbrush slowly in his mouth.

“Mmph?” Was his response.

You licked your lips and stared at his abdomen. He eyed you wearily.

“I want to rub the belly.”

The toothbrush stopped moving. He quirked a brow at you.

“What?” And his words were warbled by toothpaste. He spat it out in the sink, rinsing his mouth as you advanced on him.

“Show me.”

“You’re insane.”

You took another predatory step towards him, but he didn’t move.

“Show. Me. The belly.”

His eyes widened and you kept your movements slow, but he made no effort to stop you. Standing behind him, you looped your arms around his waist, leaning your head on his back, and placing both palms gently on his stomach. You squeezed softly and you both groaned.

“Tiger, no,” he whimpered, but he didn’t try to stay your movements.

“Tiger yes,” you said. Lifting his shirt, you glided your hands underneath and placed them flat on his lower belly, kneading softly. He drew in a deep breath through his nose.

“Stop,” he whined, “I’m not….I’m not ready.”

You moaned, pressing your lips to his back and squeezing low on his belly. He practically purred.

“Pats, too,” he requested, and you hid your smirk in his back. Letting one hand go, you patted softly all over his stomach while the other one kept kneading lightly. He sighed, completely content.

“I want to lie down for this,” he murmured, and catching a glimpse of him in the mirror you saw his eyes closed, his head tilted slightly back. His hands were braced on the sink, supporting his weight. You smiled, giving his pudge a bit of an extra squeeze. You patted him softly.

“Come on, let’s get you comfy then.”

You grabbed his hand and led him to your room, getting him to stretch out on his side on the bed. Stealing a kiss, you settled midway down his back and looped your hands around his waist. You slung your legs over him however you could manage, his long body surpassing yours. Placing your hands on his belly, you started rubbing again, humming happily into his back as he sighed.

“I need to lose all this pudge,” he mumbled, and you nipped playfully at his back.

“Don’t you dare,” you said as you gave him a few pats, “I love the belly.”

[writersrealmbts]

Con Amore: Part 3

Bulletproof Melody Sequel

Description: Con Amore– A directive to a musician to perform a selected passage of a composition tenderly, with affectionate emotion, or in a loving manner; an instruction to the player of an instrument meaning ‘with love’ or ‘lovingly’. Three years with all seven of your loves, three years of relative peace. But now everything is threatened as darkness surges from the horizon.

Originally Posted: 07/24/2019

Tags: Superheroes, Ot7

Fluff/Angst: 1,833 words

A/N: Hope you’re excited! Any theories yet? It’s posted early because I have plans for tomorrow and intended to post it then. Probably wait five days before posting the next part, if not a week.

Jimin stroked your hair, watching your every movement as you sipped some ginger ale. “Better, chubs?” You nodded. “It was probably the artifact Tae and I recovered combined with my worry. Nothing to worry about.” “Of course we worr—” Jimin broke off, dropping his gaze, “Worry. I’m sorry, y/n. You were already worried about me, and Joon-hyung, and…and you—” You put a finger to his lips. “You should try to sleep.” He looked a little like a kicked puppy. “But—” “Jimin-ah, I really don’t want to talk about this right now. Please. I get that you don’t like conflict to remain, but there’s going to be even more if you push me right now.” He slowly nodded. “Okay, chubs. Cuddle with me?” You nodded, laying back and lightly holding onto Jimin. It was a good way of knowing that he was just worried about you instead of being upset with you. He craned his neck to get his kisses, then lay back with a slight smile when he received it. You matched his breathing, waiting until he had fallen deeply asleep, then glancing back. Yoongi nodded, climbing over and carefully taking your place. You slid off the bed, checking on Namjoon, who was half-asleep on the other bed. He caught your hand, squeezing it and pulling it so he could get a kiss. “Feel better?” “Yeah, you?” He nodded. “Hoseok gave me some herbs and painkillers.” “Good. Rest up,” You whispered, giving him a second kiss. Taehyung and Jungkook were eating in the next room, the one you sent Taehyung to get. Whatever they were eating smelled…absolutely terrible. You gagged a bit and closed the door, plugging your nose. “You okay?” You wrinkled your nose. “What the heck are they eating?” “Grilled chicken alfredo,” Hoseok answered, still looking concerned. “Your favorite. You must be really sick. You don’t like ginger outside of ginger-ale, so maybe catmint or peppermint…” He started muttering, feeling your forehead. “I really don’t want to consume anything right now, Hobi.” You tucked into his chest grateful he had come from taking a shower. He didn’t smell like anything but Hobi, and his chest had a comforting warmth to it. “I was planning on sleeping in there.” He hummed softly. “What smells are okay?” You shrugged, then sniffed your hand. “Citrus. I think peppermint.” He nodded. “Let me and the other two try and clean out the smell. If we can’t, are you okay sharing with Joon?” You nodded. You had told Jungkook that you wanted to have your own bed. You just needed space. Space to calm down. Space to worry. Space that should be filled by Jin. Space to punish yourself for not protecting your loves better. You had put off finding more protections for them, thinking they might find it a little overbearing and worrying that your love for them might cause you to overstep the bounds of your duty as an archivist. What if you used an artifact to protect them, and ended up hurting others because of it? But now Jin was missing, and even if you didn’t think he was in danger…Namjoon said Jin had been hurt. And who knew who had taken him, and for what reason. For all you knew it could be like what happened with your father. Oh God. “Tinny? Is your stomach bothering you that badly?” Hobi slouched to meet your eye, gently wiping your cheeks. You wiped a tear from your own face, staring at it. “No. It isn’t. I’m just…” You shook your head. “I don’t even know. I mean, I’m crying. Again. I’m broken. Why am I broken?” “Your voice just squeaked and it was adorable—no wait, don’t cry more!” “It’s not cute, it’s annoying and wrong and ugh!” “Sshhh,” He hushed you gently. “Jimin and Namjoon are asleep. We don’t want to wake them.” You pressed your face into his shoulder. “What’s wrong with me?” You asked, unable to push back the tears. “You’re sick and stressed, and I’m sure you’re tired and worried. I think you should just try and sleep, Tinny. Okay? Yoongi and Namjoon can help you figure out the songs you need in the morning. Do you want pajamas or are you okay in Jungkook’s t-shirt?” “I’m okay.” He guided you to the other side of Namjoon’s bed, helping you lay down under the covers. “You want me to hold your hand until you fall asleep?” You nodded, feeling calmer. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why….” He kissed you gently when you didn’t continue. “It’s okay. We’ll be okay. Just try and sleep, baby. Cuddle Joon if you feel sad again.” You nodded, closing your eyes. You were tired, and crying always gave you a headache. Maybe sleep was a better choice. You wiggled over so that you were next to Namjoon, squeezing Hobi’s hand. You opened your eyes as light shone brightly through your eyelids. You were in some sort of stone room, cold air greeting you where you had been warm next to Joon just seconds earlier. It felt foreign and familiar at the same time. There were no lights or windows, but the room was mostly lit. You looked at each blank wall, but the only thing that you really noticed was that the walls were the light source, and some other part of your brain was saying that you already knew that. “Nightingale,” A voice called behind you. You froze. “Nurya Cohen.” “You may face me, Archivist.” You slowly turned to her. “Working with that artifact you swore would stay locked up?” She looked to the floor, the glow about her dying down slightly. “Slicha, ani lokeakh et mlo ha’achrayut.” “I still don’t speak Hebrew.” “Sorry, I take full responsibility,” She translated, dipping her head. “But I should hope you know I would not go back on my word unless circumstances called for it.” “As a light priestess, I would hope not.” She turned, gesturing for you to follow. You fell in step with her, out into her sanctuary. Last you had seen her was when her healer friend had, well, healed you after your crash from the top of the building three years ago. She had come to you, so the last time you had been to the sanctuary was when you had dropped the artifact with her. Too big for you to move around, but perfectly hidden in her sanctuary. Which was a temple of light and healing, a place where some astronomy students also conducted their studies. It had surprisingly strong security despite being a pacifist group. “We have a metupal in our infirmary. One of yours, I believe.” She folded her hands in front of her, similar to how an opera singer might. “Actually, we are mostly certain.” “Oh?” You frowned, trying not to get your hopes up that it was Jin. “He keeps rambling about dorchadas and something about an oasis. He also said that the kids were in danger and he had to tell you, Nightingale.” “Dorchadas? Are you certain?” You frowned. “You know what it is?” “It’s Irish. For darkness.” She looked more troubled. “And the oasis mentioned?” You shook your head. “Not sure. Not even sure what kids he could mean. I keep an eye on multiple children’s homes.” “Well, he wouldn’t lay still until I assured him I would pass the message to you. But I also contacted you because of the rumors that we heard just before his arrival. Rumors of a dark organization that works to remove the powers of supers, one that had been disbanded, but are now active again. And that they had found a former patient.” She paused, glancing at you as you froze. “Nightingale?” “The Oasis Initiative,” You breathed. Both of you were silent, but she looked at you as if waiting for further response. “Cursing is a little inappropriate here so you better continue.” “Quid pro quo.” You made a slashing gesture, making a face as you tried to think of how to explain it. “After you finish.” “Very well. One of our watchers got the pictures and information of the patient. It’s Siphon, or Laguz as you know him. However, another group also got the information—” “The Conservatory,” You guessed. Everything made sense now. They probably sent rookies because they thought it would be a basic abduction followed by an explanation that it was for his safety. They probably only heard whispers of a threat and given their penchant for watching out for their own (one of the few points you couldn’t find fault with) went to make sure that the whispers couldn’t be carried out. She nodded. “I know you dislike the place—I don’t blame you—but if this Oasis Initiative is functioning again….” “Then we all need to be ready for the worst. And we’ll need a strong base of operations, like the Conservatory. I trust you to send a representative as well?” She dipped her head. “Of course, Archivist. I will give you the head-start. Be advised, though, you should put distance between yourself and this fight.” Everything was getting blurry and the panic—that was a side effect of the artifact—started rising in your body. “Why? And who’s in the infirmary?” You managed to choke out. Her gaze flit to your midsection before the dream shattered like glass. Strong arms had you pinned down. “Y/n!” You finally opened your eyes, almost throwing up, but somehow managing to choke it down long enough to free yourself and run to the bathroom. Someone pulled your hair back. “Maybe she should see a doctor,” One of them said softly. You sat back, panting a little. “Tae, can you get me my makeup bag?” “Yeah.” “Makeup? Honey, I don’t think that’s—” “You’re right, you don’t think of me having anything else in my makeup bag, but I do. Now, Hoseok, I love you, but get out. Same goes to you, Kook, and you, Yoongi. Nothing to see here.” You got to your feet, reaching to flush the toilet before shakily stepping over to the sink to brush your teeth. You scrunched your nose, frustrated with yourself. “I’m sorry. I just…I need a minute.” “Okay,” Jungkook said. “We’ll keep the food in the other room. Do you want some toast?” You nodded. Tae handed you your bag. You closed the door behind him, taking a couple deep breaths to steady yourself before going to the bottom of your bag and pulling the pregnancy test out. “Please be wrong,” You muttered. You waited the appropriate amount of time, trying to count how long it had been since you had had your last visit from Aunt Flo. This would be the worst timing ever. You didn’t want to be sidelined. Not if the Oasis Initiative was active again. You glanced at the time on whoever’s watch you had found sitting on the counter, then looked at the test.

~~~~~

Part 2.   Part 4.

Masterlist.  ~  Series Masterpost.  

[everything-tmnt]

Misunderstood Love

     Buzz, buzz, buzz. Your phone was going off yet again for the millionth time today. You check to see Leo had texted you asking if you were okay, and if he could come over to talk. You sighed and deleted the message. You’ve been successfully ignoring them for about a week now. Not that they haven’t made it hard. Constantly texting you, showing up at your window, even Mikey picked the lock, but you threaten him that you would tell Raph that he was the one who keeps stealing his candy if he didn’t leave. You knew that you were being ridicules about the whole thing, you were really only upset with Leo, but you decided to ignore all of them. It was your own thoughts that kept telling you to stay away.

     Last week you were hanging out at the lair with your best friends, the turtles, when Mikey decided to put on a runway show. It wasn’t just any runway show, it was the one where all the girls are parading around half naked dressed in sexy lingerie. All the girls were absolutely beautiful with their flat stomachs and perfect butts. Not a single stretch mark or any cellulite to be found on their flawless frames, unlike you.

     You were a bit on the chubbier/curvier side, but it didn’t hold you back from anything you wanted to do. Yes, you were self conscious about it, but you tried to hide it the best you could. You worked out, ate right, but just figured you will always be a chubby/curvy girl.

     The show was not what bothered you. It was the reaction from a certain turtle who you were madly in love with that made you hate yourself and decided to shut everybody out. Throughout the show Mikey was of course making comments on their beauty and every once in a while telling an inappropriate joke. That didn’t really bother you; that was just Mikey being Mikey. Every once in a while Raphael would also chime, but you didn’t really care either. Yes you wished you looked like the girls on T.V., and you wish that they would say some of those nice things about you, but you knew that they didn’t think of you in that way. Leo was sitting on the couch besides you during the show, he hadn’t said a word, but you could tell out of the corner of your eye that he was watching. You were happy that he didn’t comment on any of the attractive half naked girls walking down the runway. It made you think that those weren’t the type of women he was interested in. You were hopelessly in love with him. You had been ever since he saved you from being robbed in an ally. You loved the way he carried himself and the confidence he had, plus he was super handsome and his voice was like music to your ears. You just didn’t know if he could ever love you back. The thoughts in your head always told you that he wouldn’t love you because of the way you look, that he would want somebody fitter, but you were able to push away those thoughts 99% of the time. This time, however, you could not.

     The show was almost over and Leo still had not said a word. You had caught him looking over at you a few times, but you just brushed it off as nothing. The last few girls were walking down the runway when the most stunning girl walked out, pretty much naked, and you could physically see Mikey and Raphs mouths drop open. Mikey had said, “Wow that is the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.” Raphael says me too, and that’s when Leo finial spoke. “Yea, she really is beautiful.” You turn to see Leo staring at the T.V. Your heart sank as your fear had just been confirmed. “I look nothing like that girl, how could he ever love me,” you think to yourself. You hadn’t realized that you were still staring at Leo when he asks, “Hey, Y/N, are you okay?” “Yea, I’m fine,” you say in a shaky breath. “It’s just really late and I have an early class tomorrow morning. I should get going,” and with that you got up and left.

    That was little over a week ago. You didn’t mean ignore the rest of them, but you couldn’t tell them what was wrong. You didn’t want them to go and tell Leo. You decided that you weren’t going to see them until your heart stopped hurting. You didn’t know how long that would take, but you just couldn’t stand to see Leo again. Buzz, buzz, buzz. Your phone when off again and you looked at the message from Donnie. “I’m coming over, you are really starting to worry us.” You just deleted the message and turned your phone off for the night.

           A few minutes later you hear a tap on your window. You just turn over and ignore it. The tapping continues and you cover your face with the pillow. You hear some talking, but are unable to make it out. Just when you think that the tapping has stopped, your window slides up and Donnie jumps into your room. “I don’t want to talk Donnie, please leave,” you say with the pillow covering your head. You hear Donnie walk next to your bed and you feel the weight of his body on the bed as he sits next to you. “I just want to talk Y/N, and you have nothing to blackmail me on to get me to leave either.” You smirk to yourself on how much blackmail you have on Mikey if you ever needed to use it, but you didn’t have anything on Donnie, he never did anything bad. “Can you please just tell me what’s going on and why you have been ignoring us for a week? Mikey is missing you like crazy and you have Leo worried out of his shell.” You remove the pillow from your face and stare at Donnie. “Leo is worried about me?” you ask. “Of course he is, we all are. You just got up and left and haven’t said anything to us in a week. What are we supposed to think except for the worse,” Donnie said in a sad tone. “I’ve just been going through some stuff and I didn’t want to drag you guys into it,” you say while covering your face with the pillow again. “It’s about Leo isn’t it?” Donnie says as you uncover your face and sit up. “I have no idea what you are talking about,” you say back to him without making eye contact. “You do know that I am a genius right? I see the way you look at him and how happy you get when you are around him,” Donnie says with a smile as you blush like crazy. “Yes, I do love him, but he will never love me,” you say as you bury your head into your hands. Donnie places a hand on your back to comfort you and says, “I think he likes you more than you think, why don’t you ask him?” You look up from your hands and give Donnie a questioning look as he looks over at the window. Leo slowly steps in and gives you a small smile and wave. “Donnie you asshole! You knew he was listening the whole time!” you say as you hit his arm. “I know, I’m sorry, but you two need to talk and I saw this as a perfect opportunity.” Donnie got up and headed towards window, “good luck,” he says as he jumps out the window.

           You both sit there in silence for what seems like forever until Leo steps forward and asks “Why do think that I wouldn’t love you?” You shake your head and turn away from him, “because I’m not your type,” you say in a sad tone. “Why wouldn’t you be my type?” Leo asks as he moves closer to you. “Because what you said when we were watching the runway show last week, you said that girl is really beautiful and I look nothing like her, so how could I be your type” you say as you bury your face into the pillow again. You feel Leo sit on the bed like Donnie did, except that he took the pillow off your face so that he could see you. “You think I was talking about the girl on T.V.? That’s why you’ve been ignoring us for the past week?” he says with a smile on his face. “Y/N I was talking about you. I was looking at you when I said, yea, she really is beautiful. I just turned towards the T.V. before you looked at me because I didn’t know what to say. I wasn’t sure if you liked me back.” A huge smile spreads across you face as you jump up and wrap your arms around Leo’s neck. “I thought you wouldn’t love me because I didn’t look like the girls on T.V. I’m chubby/curvier than them and I thought you would want somebody more fit,” you say while letting go of him. Leo places his hands on your cheeks and looks into your gorgeous eyes. “I love you for you. I don’t care what you look like, what matters is what is on the inside. Plus, I like your chub/curves. It gives me something to hold onto.” Before you can say anything he smashes his mouth into yours. You deepen the kiss and he wraps his arms around your waist. You finally break away from the kiss for some air and stare into each other’s eyes. “I love you Y/N, I will never let anything hurt you. Please don’t ever ignore me again, I was going crazy without you. I can’t picture my life without you. I think you are the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.” You blush like crazy and say, “I love you too Leo, I promise not to ignore you again.” Leo leans in a places a kiss on your nose and stands up. “I should get going, it’s pretty late,” he says and starts towards the window. You grab his hand “please stay the night, I’ve really missed you.” Leo smiles and walks over to close the window. He takes off all his armor and crawls into bed with you. He wraps his strong arms around you as your place your head on his chest. “Sweet dreams Y/N, I love you.” You snuggle in closer to him and say “goodnight” as you drift off to sleep.

*I do not own the picture* 

[jungkookienoona]

The Meme and His Tutor

Part 7:  The Time The Tutor Got Mail

Recommended Song: Q by GOT7

|All Chapters|

Summary:

Jungkook had gone and done exactly what you had told him not to do as well as making your melt a little.

Genre: Fluff, comedy

Pairing: Jungkook X Reader (Y/N)

Warnings: Swearing

Word Count: 1121

Length: 7/?

It had only been a couple of days since your lesson with Jungkook, though it wasn’t much of a lesson and more of a hangout session while you tried to stop your eyes from roaming his bare torso too much. You were in your living room doing some revision for your upcoming exams as your college had just broken up for half-term; when there was a knock at your door, which was odd, you weren’t expecting anyone. You walked over to your front door and looked through the peephole. It was the postman. He was holding a parcel and some envelopes. You didn’t remember ordering anything recently. Unlocking the door, you greeted the man with a smile.

He returned your smile, “Delivery for Y/N L/N.”

He passed the large parcel over to you along with several envelopes. You placed them inside the doorway and signed the digital pad to confirm you had received the parcel. He tipped his hat to you in farewell and turned leaving you with your mail. You picked up the items once more and kicked the door shut behind you. You waddled back over to where you had been revising and placed it on your coffee table. The return address surprised you. Seoul, South Korea. You had never ordered anything from there that needed to be signed for, you weren’t willing to pay the shipping costs to track parcels. Finding a pair of scissors, you carefully cut the tape that held the top of the parcel closed. Opening the folds, you were greeted to a handwritten note on top of something that was gift wrapped. You picked it and began to read:

‘Hello Noona,

It Jungkookie! Wanted to send thank you. Thank you for being teacher. Thank you for being friend. You didn’t have to but you did. Hope you enjoy and please no angry.’

You felt your heart flutter in your chest. He had obviously put a lot of effort into practising his handwriting. It was far more legible than it had been when he first started. It was sweet, the amount of effort he had put in. He had even dated the top of the letter, 3 and a half weeks ago. The day you agreed to be his friend.

You took the gift wrapped present out of the parcel. The gift wrapping is precise. You peel the tape as carefully as possible and found a sweater with BTS written on the front with Jungkook’s name and year of birth on the back in a pink flower pattern that looks beautiful against the black material it was printed on. There were also some BTS albums you remembered saying you didn’t have yet, they had all been signed. Even a few DVDs and their accompanying posters and photobooks. You had your hands up by your mouth, trying to physically hold back a scream of excitement. Though you were left confused by the final part of his letter. What was there to be angry about?

You shrugged and started opening your mail, sorting through junk and bills. The fifth letter you opened had you dropping the contents of it in shock. Two business class plane tickets. One heading to South Korea in a couple days’ time, the other for heading back to England about a week later. In time for your holiday to end. The letter that accompanied them mentioned a week-long hotel reservation was booked with the tickets.

Your phone was in your hands and unlocked in a flash. You brought up KaKao.

‘What the hell Jeon?! Get your butt on skype now!’

‘I’m guessing the arrived.’

‘If you mean the business class plane tickets, then yes they have.’

‘And the parcel? I timed sending so they arrive at same time.’

‘Yes and the parcel. Now get your butt on skype.’

‘Break soon. Skype then.’

‘Okay.’

You set your phone down and stared at the tickets again. You only had a couple of days to prepare. To pack. To let your part-time job know you would be going on vacation. To cancel plans with friends. Poor Chubs (The Jimin stan you met at the concert, she loved the KDrama Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo and asked you to call her Chubs as a result). You had planned to meet up with her to hang out but now you won’t be able to. Though one thing that nagged away at you. How did Jungkook find out your address?

You heard the familiar sound of the Skype ringtone coming from your laptop and ran to your bedroom to answer it. When he said the break was soon you didn’t think meant in 2 minutes. So when you answered the video call you were slightly out of breath. You really needed to get out more. Meanwhile, Jungkook must have been using the Skype mobile app to call you because the camera was a lot closer to his face than usual. All you could see was his head and upper torso which was dress in a murky green bomber jacket.

He gave a sheepish wave, “Annyeong Noona”

You frowned.

“Let’s cut to the chase. How did you find out my address?”

His cheeks tinted a faint red as he looked away, “I bribe a member of staff for your ARMY membership details…”

“YOU BROKE THE LAW SO YOU COULD SEND ME MERCH AND PLANE TICKETS?!”

“I sing at their daughter’s birthday.”

“You could’ve asked me instead of breaking the goddamn law!” You immediately felt bad for shouting when he flinched.

“Wanted to surprise Noona.” His voice was quiet, eyes still cast away from the camera.

You felt even worse. When you next spoke, you made sure your voice was gentle and kinder.

“About that. I told you not to buy plane tickets.”

He finally looked back at the camera, “Noona works hard for me to learn. Wanted to do something nice for Noona cause she my friend. So… I make holiday for Noona who I want to see.”

You felt butterflies form in your stomach at that and had to stop yourself from smiling.

“If that’s what you really wanted then fine. But business class seats? I don’t deserve that.”

“It long flight. Noona should be comfy.” He said, a small smile gracing his lips that you found yourself mirroring.

“You’re such a sweet Kookie, I can’t stay mad at you.”

“Good.” He looked down then back up, “Break over now. Have to go. Annyeong.”

“Annyeong Kookie.”

The Skype call ended and a shit eating grin was plastered across your face. You walked back into your living room and grabbed your phone off the coffee table to send Chubs a quick message: ‘Holy shit I’m going to Korea!’

A/N: This chapter is only short as @tragicshadows is on holiday right now and because I spent the weekend writing part 1 of BunBun, my two-parter Jungkook Hybrid AU.

[untaemedqueen]

The Bird Cage

Mafia!Jimin x Reader

Chapter 21.

Warnings:  Blood, Guns, Knives, Smoking (Cigarettes)

Tag-List: @imaforeigner​​​, @q1st1na​​​, @gensneverland​​​, @autumnnflowers​​​, @toddsgirl27​​​, @yaniposts22​​​, @babyboytae1​​​, @dearlydreadful​​​, @vivpurple7​​​, @kthfeed​​​, @probably-trying-too-hard​, @si-deus-me-hanyu-senshu​​​, @bts-chub​​​, @ayyyocee​​​, @taeslittletiger​​​, @yeonkiminfr​​​, @xcharlottemikaelsonx​​​​ , @topthis808​​​,  @brilee64​, @mini-coop25​,  @afangirllikeme-blog​​, @kpoppingthempills​​

"Rice, an omelette, kimchi and galbi-jjim!" You call out to Two with a mouthful of toothpaste. She looks wide-eyed at Jimin who looks up over his morning newspaper with a smirk. 

"The baby is making her hungry." Two smiles before nodding.

"Yes, Sir!" 

"Two!" You call to her as she opens the door. She tilts her head as you peak your head out from the bathroom. 

"Make some stew and rice for Four, please." Jimin furrows his eyebrows as Two looks at you confused. 

"Yes, Madam." Jimin puts down his newspaper as she exits the room before looking at his Rolex watch. 

"Why the fuck are you feeding that bitch?" He asks loudly as you put on your dress. You walk out to him before showing him your back. He stands up, scraping the chair back loudly as he grabs your zipper. His lips pressing to the back of your neck as he zippers you up. 

"Hmm? Why are you feeding her?" 

"You know my saying." He hums in agreement.

"Something about flies. Honey more than bleach or whatever." You giggle as he hooks his arms around your waist before pulling you down into his lap. 

"I'm going to be watching this interaction. If you even get an ounce of anger within you, you're done. You hear me? Done. You will not get angry with our child inside you." You could tell he was worried. He was up all night thinking about this morning. The dark purple bags under his small eyes were enough evidence alone. 

"Do you hear me?" You nod before turning to him and kissing him sweetly. 

"The baby can feel that anger and I won't have my child being in as much misery as the both of us were. Our baby deserves the best. They can hear us now y'know." 

You went to the hospital a few days ago for your 11 week check up. The baby was growing fingers and toes. Their ears and brain were developing. And, if there is even a chance that this baby could hear you, Jimin wouldn't be having it. The baby is inside of you, it could probably feel your blood getting hot and angry and he would NOT have his child feeling you upset over anything. 

"There has been so much death and misery in this fucking house." Jimin bawls up his hands into fists as a rage begins to grow. 

"Our baby is going to bring happiness and joy to this house. I don't want it knowing anger and being upset." You kiss his temple as the veins in his neck begin to beat harder. 

"I know, I know." You whisper soothingly as he rubs your stomach. 

"I'm nervous enough as it is that the chamber is up here. Even the medical room. I mean what if the baby gets older, like 3 or 4 years old and Taehyung gets shot and needs Guk to sew him up. I don't want my child to see such gruesome stuff! Especially if it's a little girl." He mumbles putting his hand to his forehead, you stay quiet as he expresses his fears. You know how heavy Jimin's heart can get sometimes and it always comes out early in the morning or before you both go to sleep. 

"I keep having these thoughts, these fucking thoughts, that if it's a boy. Okay, he'll grow into my legacy. He'll know my job, my fucking...fucking pain. But he shouldn't! He shouldn't ever know my pain, he shouldn't have to do this fucking shit. And if it's a girl-" Jimin grits his teeth, his jaw muscles flexing and tightening, "-fucking forget about it." 

"Daddy's little princess?" Jimin chuckles before looking up at you. 

"Damn right my little princess." He takes a sip of his screwdriver before sighing and rubbing his hands over his face. 

"I just want them to be happy, y'know? Be a normal child. Be...Be free..." You smile down at him.

"My little bean deserves everything we couldn't have." You hum in agreement.

"They will. They'll have a great childhood." Jimin sighs before kissing your cheek and squeezing you tightly. "I hope so."

You step into the chamber with sweaty palms and a tray of food. It's been a long time since you've been in here. 

"Hey." You whisper walking towards Four with the food. 

"Brought you some real food." Four looks up at you, her lip bloody and her cheek swollen as you set the tray in front of her. And, for the first time you pull the chair from the corner of the room to sit closer to her. 

"Why?" Her voice is hoarse and deep. You tilt your head.

"Why what?" She pulls the tray closer observing her meal. 

"Why'd you bring me food?" You sigh as she begins to eat voraciously, the sight making your stomach uneasy. You could see her ribs through her chest and you know she hasn't been eating properly. 

"I'm not a bad person Four, I've told you this." She hums uncertainly with a mouthful of food. 

"You'll make yourself sick if you eat that quickly." She narrows her eyes at you menacingly and you hold your hands up. Out of the corner of your eye you see the camera in the corner of the room blinking steadily with a red light. Your husband is watching. 

"Fuck, this is so good." She hums out before grabbing the glass of water on the tray. She looks at your stomach before tilting her head. 

"So you are pregnant." You nod to her pressing your lips into a straight line as the room goes silent. Four puts her head against the wall before sighing. 

"I didn't know you were pregnant. If I had known, I wouldn't have done that." 

"I didn't know either so we're even, like I've said before." She snorts before rolling her head to the side to look at you. 

"I did it because he told me Jimin deserved it." You lean back in the chair, now we're getting somewhere. 

"The man you love?" She nods before licking at her chapped and cracked lips. 

"Yes. Him." You hum to her.

"Do you think he loves you back." She laughs loudly folding her dirty arms.

"Y/N. Would I be in here if he loved me? I've been in here for months." You sigh folding your arms as well. 

"I don't understand why he hated me enough to try and kill me." Four looks at you before shaking her head. 

"No. He doesn't hate you, he hates Jimin and I had no intention of killing you. It was a watch your back sort of move. You know? Cutting your back open." You hum to her before feeling at the scar on your back. 

"Why does he hate Jimin?" Four shrugs.

"I don't know. He just told me to do it and so I did. Because, I'm an idiot." Her face gives nothing away but you could hear the sorrow and anger in her voice and that is something to go on. 

"He broke your heart." She rolls her eyes before sniffing.

"He promised me that he loved me so much. That I was his love from a past lifetime." You want to laugh but you don't, she is very naive and gullible. Incredibly so. 

"Jimin told me he would give me the world. I still don't own it. Men lie, Four." You could practically hear his scoff through the metal walls and it makes you smirk. 

"Of course they fucking do." She mumbles.

"You're talking a lot." You comment to her..

"Yeah, I've been stuck in here for months. Of course I'm talking. All Sir Jeongguk does is come in and hit me. Does that result in answers? No." You look up at the camera as she puts her head down before sticking out your tongue. A brat will be a brat through and through. If only Jimin would have let you come in sooner. 

"He promised he would come back for me." You click your teeth before leaning forward pressing your hands together. 

"Can I tell you something?" She looks up at you furrowing her eyebrows. 

"Not a single Jung has come to retaliate against us since we began payback. No one has shot at us, tried to hurt us or even come to the house for their revenge." 

She nods before sighing, "Yeah. I figured. I'm just an idiot who fell in love with a man because he smiled at me while I was wearing my uniform." 

You can kind of understand her, it must be so lonely as a maid. You were almost one yourself a few months ago. 

"You aren't an idiot. You're just...gullible." She sputters into a laugh as you smirk. 

"Yeah. Thanks." 

"I can get you the payback you deserve. If you tell me his name I can break his heart just like he did to you." She looks back down at the floor. You could see the cogs turning in her head as she thinks. Her eyes flickering from one floor tile to the other. 

"He deserves to suffer for doing this. For fooling you, for hurting both of us." She puts her hands over her face as she sighs. You already know what you will do once you get the name. The plan is already made in your mind. 

"You can do that?" You nod to her as she looks back up at you. 

"I can. And, I will." She hums in agreement before putting her head back. 

"What's it like to be pregnant?" She asks randomly as you sit back in your chair. 

"I throw up a lot, pee a lot, hit Jimin a lot." She snorts and you smirk.

She was silent for some time. Never looking at you and always at the floor or the ceiling. 

"I'll tell you his name. He deserves to suffer." She says folding her legs and sitting up properly. 

"He will suffer, I promise you." She nods slowly. 

"Jung Gyuhyung." You feel the relief rushing through your veins like heroin. A weight being lifted off of your shoulders as you sit back relaxed. 

"Thank you, Four. I promise. He will suffer for this." She nods putting her lips into a straight line. 

"There's one thing you should know." You raise an eyebrow at her voice. The comment intriguing as you clear your throat. 

"He works for someone named Kim Youngju. Gyuhyung has said he's a fearsome leader. A man hell bent on Jimin's destruction." Kim Youngju?! He was supposed to be in a coma?! Jimin told you this months ago before the ball. 

"Thank you for telling me." Four nods before touching her chapped lips. 

"Give him hell. I'm sorry I hurt you. You're nice it was wrong of me." You give her a small smile before standing. 

"I forgive you." You speak the truth and she seems to relax, there was no point in being ruthlessly angry at a naive girl who had her heart broken by a man who was manipulative. You put the chair back in the corner before leaving the room with high hopes.

You walk down the hallway to Jimin's office where he said he would be with the guys. Four was just a product of manipulation and you felt bad for her. She was too gullible to be helped and even still she would die for what she has done to you. Jimin wouldn't let her go since you were pregnant at the time of her assault on you. 

You descend the stairs quickly rushing to get to Jimin. You finally got the name you had been dying for. You could proceed with events. You pass Hyejin as she leaves Taehyung's room. She gives an embarrassed giggle and you wink at her before opening up the office room. 

As you open the door, the guys are all on their phones talking to someone. Jimin stares at the laptop screen before looking at you. He gives you a small smile as Namjoon hangs up his phone. 

"We're finding him." Jimin breathes a sigh of relief before opening his arms. 

"My Kitten. Always getting information so easily." You smile at him before sitting on his lap. 

"I have a plan." You tell everyone, Jimin raises an eyebrow as you fix yourself comfortably on his lap. The others hang up their phones before giving you their undivided attention. 

"We're going to rope him in." 

"How?" Yoongi asks folding his arms. 

"Jina is our sexiest escort. When Namjoon finds out where he is, Jina will seduce him. Bring him to a secluded spot, a hotel room or an alley." Jimin snaps his fingers before nodding. 

"Good idea baby. Then we'll grab him there." You turn your head before shaking it. 

"No. We're going to get him to fall in love with Jina. She's going to become a part of his life. Get us information, get us his plans and then we'll take him." Jimin stares at the desk letting your idea process through his head. He hums before nodding.

"Let's put it to a vote then." Jimin raises his hand and you do as well. The rest of the guys raise their hands before smiling at you. 

"The Vixen always wins. Huh?" Jeongguk teases you, making you laugh. 

"So it would seem." Jimin mumbles before kissing your cheek. His hand coming to rest on your stomach as the guys begin to talk about the new plan coming to fruition.

You sit with Hyunah in the restaurant you helped Ong Mingyu acquire back with the guns he paid 6 million for. 

"Kim Youngju is Kim Shin's son." You finish explaining to her and she hums in amusement. 

"Is that right? I've never even thought to ask. I've had a few dealings with him in the past. He's acquired heroin from me to back sell in China." You hum as you pick at your food. You put your fork down before putting your hands over your face. 

"He's supposed to be in a coma." Hyunah grabs your hands, taking them off of your face before narrowing her eyes at you. 

"Let me tell you this once and once only. Yes, the circumstances are not great but you can not dwell on that. You have to push past this, push past your nervousness. You won't make anything of yourself if you wallow in your own fear. And, if Jimin was here he would say something about it being bad for your child." She tapers off her voice at the end before lighting a cigarette. You sit back in your chair before sighing. Of course, she's right, she pretty much knows all. 

"That plan that you have for Jina. That's a great plan and you have to stick to it. You get Kim Youngju, you get Kim Shin. This is what you are working towards." You nod to her before folding your arms, you have to proceed as planned. Nervousness could not enrapture your whole being. You have to be strong to get what you want. 

"Just remember this, Y/N. The anger you hold should push you, not your nervousness. Cowardice is not allowed in your brain, only power." You hum to her as the doors open. 

"Jina is waiting for you at home." Yoongi tells you before smirking at Hyunah. "Go get 'em lioness."

[aggresivelyfriendly]

Divide-Chapter Seven-Save Myself

“Baby, I Need You,” she knew what she sounded like, and had been distracting herself in every possible way to keep herself from making this call. Laurel had spent hours in the gym, had volunteered to cut patterns at work, and who knows how much time she had spent at the hospital.

She’d also been patently avoiding Willy. Laurel was fed up with herself. She felt like she was stringing him along and it was killing her. Two weeks ago she was all in. His accent made her quiver and he was everything she loved in a man, sexy and androgynous and talented. Even better, he was available and into her. He’d made it clear that he wanted her, but that included dates and doting and the deed.

Their first date he had arranged to close down a gallery and he’d shown her work by his favorite photographer. Laurel completely expected to walk in to rows of pictures of beautiful people and to be bored. She saw a lot of fashion photography at work. More concerning, what if the walls were full of him? Laurel could tell they had potential, he’d put his hand on her lower back and the region had lit up like a Christmas trees. Laurel was afraid if he was proven so hopelessly superficial already that her budding feelings, the first she’d had since she’d walked into Harry’s house two years ago for anyone but him, would wilt.

Laurel was pleasantly surprised to walk into a virtual photostory about human dignity in the midst of war and poverty and plague. Then, Willy further blew her away by explaining how he’d met the photographer once when he was visiting his family in Vietnam and that he’d spent most of his trip traveling with him and the volunteer work it sparked. He was heavily involved with water projects and had dug several wells in his off time. He then took her to a tiny noodle shop and they talked over £5 bowls of ramen for hours.  He told her about Frank and their break up and how no one had caught his eye until her. It was great, and her mind only wandered to Harry a couple times, a record for sure.

The date ended well too. He’d walked her to her flat door and kissed her cheek so close to the corner of her mouth it had left her breathless. He’d then pressed his gorgeous lips to each of the back of Laurel’s hands and said, “I’ve had a lovely time. May I see you again tomorrow?”

Wow, very different from the relationship she was used to. Though that was a very loose term. And he did turn up the next day, and everyday they were available for weeks. And he didn’t kiss her, not for a long while, let alone receive her advances when she made her attraction known. Willy simply acknowledged and returned the appreciation. By the time they finally did kiss, right before going to a pub one evening, strangely close to Harry’s house, she was floating. His lips were perfect and he was so gentle and he cupped her jaw in his hands like she was made of glass.

She’d loved it. However, when she slept with him the night they ran into Harry again she was disappointed. He also touched her like she was made of glass. Willy was so slow to enter her and hesitant with his strokes. It felt good, but wasn’t enough. She’d taken the reins and found herself closing her eyes to climax, not to focus on sensation, but to visualize another set of eyes, another body. Willy’s body was beautiful, but completely unmarred, no dark etchings or moles or unexplainable chubs.

Harry occasionally touched her like she was spun glass, he’d then temper her with fire and test her strength. It was the contrast that made their communion unbelievable. Willy wasn’t so much bad, but he suffered by comparison.

So, after her first time accepting Willy into her bed and body, she found herself texting Harry. His hold had never broken, just slackened. 

The next morning, she was so regretful she promised herself she would not contact him. Laurel threw herself into Willy’s arms and exhausted herself trying to force the connection. He was so ideal otherwise.

When that wasn’t working, she headed to the gym.

Sweat dripped down over her brow as she pushed herself through the set she was on. The cold of the universal bar sat across the meaty part of her upper back. Laurel bent her legs and held her core in tight until her thigh paralleled the ground. She pushed up through her heels and grunted. She’d intended to bench press today, but when she laid down on the bench she remember last September when she had worked out with Harry and the push and pull always present between them resulted in her balancing on her tightly closed knees, hands clutching the textured center of a thick barbel while Harry groaned behind her. The gym was ruined she guessed.

The next day, she went in to work early and stayed late, telling Willy that Ed had a private client to prepare for. Not a lie, more a fib. She cut the silk chiffon in front of her and put away thoughts of a similar folded fabric tied across her eyes so that her vision was obscured, not blocked. Laurel put that out of her mind and focused on the seam cutter she was using to open a hem until she heard Ed on the phone

“Yes, of course Mr. Styles, Laurel is here, would you like me to send it with her?” Ed asked.

She looked up frantically and shook her head twice, Ed got the message and found an alternative before he hung up. He looked at her quizzically but she stared him down until he bowed his head and stopped silenty asking. When he walked by, he placed his hand on her shoulder. Later, when he saw her shady button Willy, he was the one shaking his head.

The following day, her libido was in the backseat, but her emotional need was overwhelming. The air was stale and blowing hard enough to pebble every bit of exposed skin while she listened to the doctor. Laurel’s first instinct, after she emptied her stomach into a bin outside the sliding walls of glass, was to call Harry.

“Baby, I need you,” she said frantically.

“God, Laurel I need you too. What’s going on? It sounds windy,” Harry’s voice ticked up at the end.

“It’s the blower above the door. Can I come over?” She was already walking towards the tube.

Harry hesitated a moment, and she was relieved when he responded, “yeah, I’m on my way home. Should be there, like, in 5 minutes?”

“I think I could be with you in a half hour,” Laurel guessed as she scanned her Oyster card, “I’m going underground, I’ll see you soon.”

Once on the train she rocked herself back and forth and sang tupelo honey under her breath. Her mother always sang that to calm her down.

The intermittent rain that hung over London like a blanket was coming down when she exited the station near Harry’s place. Laurel barely felt it until her clothing was soaked through and a chill, separate from the one in her bones, crept in.

When Harry opened the door to her he tilted his head and gave her a quizzical look before pulling her inside and into his warm arms.

“You are wet through! Let me put on the kettle and get you some dry clothes,” he said as he pulled her from the foyer into his living room. “Just give me a minute.” He ventured up the stairs.

Laurel wasn’t sure what compelled her to follow him. Probably that when his arms were around her it was the warmest she had felt since the doctor came into the room.

Harry looked surprised by her presence in his room when he turned from his chest of drawers and found her under the door jam.

“You gave me a fright, you didn’t have to come up here, I was gonna bring them down to you,” he held the clothes out to her.

The snick of her shirt coming off was the only sound besides Harry’s breathing until her jeans and panties hit the hardwood with a wet thud. The Who t shirt and joggers fell from his hand when he reached out to catch her in her head long rush. The rain on her lips obscured his flavor at first, but soon she could taste the spearmint and coffee she associated with his breath. Laurel pushed him back to the bed and he fell when his knees made contact. She followed him down and her hair formed a curtain.

“Touch me, I’m so cold,” she didn’t recognize her own voice over the choked sob it came out on. Harry obeyed for a few moments, smoothing his large palms over her chilled goose flesh. The world inverted and she found herself beneath him as he pulled the blanket across them. All she could focus on was him above her and the warmth she’d missed since she heard the words ‘two months’ in the cold green room while sitting on the rigid brown chair.

Harry pulled back from her and she was reminded she preferred celery green to the dull moss. Laurel leaned up to kiss him but Harry pulled back from her.

“Are you crying?” His thumb caught the tears she was unaware were still tracking down her cheeks.

“Am I?” Laurel tried to roll away to hide her face.

“Laurel, baby, what’s going on? Did something happen with Willy?” He swallowed her boyfriend’s name like it tasted bad.

Her boyfriend, fuck she had to go. She didn’t want to be this person. Laurel was someone people leaned on, not this.

She scrambled up and tried to pull her clothes over her nakedness.

“Stop, Stop, Laurel your clothes are wet, take mine. What’s wrong? Please talk to me,” he begged as she grabbed the t shirt from him and carried the joggers to the door.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she repeated, to him and herself as she pulled his pants on at the foot of the stairs.

Laurel was almost the the door when he caught he about the waist and pulled her close.

“Baby, please talk to me, what happened, what is going on? Let me help,” he turned her round and used his thumb to raise her chin.

She looked at him through her tears. Laurel broke from his embrace and pulled open the door. She looked over her shoulder,“ You can’t Harry, I have to save myself.”

AN- thanks again @team-styles for the banner and @the-well-rested-one , @aboutalighthouse, and @tipsyandtalking for listening to me blather on. Also, this story has had an awesome response, thank you for reading and responding! Reblogs are love

[chikkenbutt]

Fat chance.

Most seven year olds dress better than I do, making starting my new job a golden opportunity; it was a chance to buy new clothes, ditch old ones, and present a new, more sporty, more corporate me.

The last time I went clothes shopping, it was for a wedding I was attending. I had outgrown, or outworn, everything that should have been wedding-worthy. So I picked out a nice new shirt. I bought clean, plain fundamental items. Matching socks. Calvin Klein t-shirts and underwear. I enjoyed the wedding, and felt better about myself. New clothes and partying with family does that.

I almost didn’t go clothes shopping that time. I told myself the story I’ve internalized since college. I don’t shop for myself, because if I did, I would spend more than I had. Run up a credit card debt. Spending is either on, or off.

But that’s no longer the reason I stopped shopping for clothes for myself. After all, I’m not a crazy shopper - I shop sometimes for things on amazon.com, or buy parts for my bike. My purchases are carefully considered, and an informal spending limit rule -- no purchases over $200 without talking to my spouse about it -- keeps things in reason. Reflecting back on the shopping, and the trip, there was something darker.

Had I stopped caring about clothes, and parts of my appearance?

Not really. There are things I don’t like to wear, and things I like to wear. For example, I’ve been phasing out company t-shirts. Recently, I got one that looks like Pepe the Frog. No thanks. There’s a bottom dresser drawer full of unseasonable, or unfashionable, tops and bottoms I won’t wear. I’d burn them or donate them to a paper-making project, but they make great painting shirts. I like wearing Levi’s 501 jeans in my size, which is near the top range of waist sizes one can find in a department store.

Accepting that I care about how I present myself, I had to come to terms with the fact that shopping for fat clothes can involve body shame.

After I had accepted my new job, I went thrift store shopping with my wife. We went to Berkeley. If you’ve never been to a college town to thrift, you’ve missed out. There are loads of clothes and shoes to loot through, and there are many thrift stores.

At the thrift store, I moved to racks in my sizes. I do this for clothes, and for shoes also, because I have wide feet. In New Balance sizes, my standard for correct shoe sizing, I wear an 11.5 four-E. My waist size bounces between 44″ and 40″. So there’s generally only a few pairs of slacks, jeans, or shoes, I bother to try on. After that I move through the shirts. They’re really cute. And jackets. I’m between men’s XL and XXL, unless the shirt style is fitted tight. Which for the last few years, they have been.

I love thrifting and finding cool tops, and a good bargain. But it’s a little grim. For a 268 pound, big footed person, shopping for things takes a lot less time than you might expect, if you are an average weight, with average feet. It reminds you of what is available, and what is normal. Not in a punishing way, nobody’s actively trying to hurt your feelings.

I found a great jean jacket, that was really a sweat shirt. Soft and inviting, it fit. It also stretched a little where my stomach overhangs my jeans. Right where that happens, at the waist, the jacket’s snap was broken.

It doesn’t snap closed. I bought it anyways. It’s one of my favorite items of clothing, but every day it reminds me of how big my stomach is. When I snap all the other closures, my waist pushes out, making a bulge that shows my shirt through the gap where the broken snap is.

There were other nice finds that day. I got a pair of 501 button fly jeans a little smaller than my last pair. One of the reason I love button fly jeans is that there’s nothing to break. Have you ever popped a button on your slacks? I have struggled through a work day or private event, knowing my pants are only holding together because I’ve cinched my belt over the broken waist and zipper.

Today, I was in the market for new jeans for a different fat-related reason. The old pair had worn out in the crotch, where the leg fat between my thighs rolls, and had worn it away. ‘Chub rub’, I’ve heard that called. I bicycle daily, and I ride in what I wear. Lots of my pants are worn through in the thighs.

For almost 5 years, I used to bicycle because I didn’t own a car. But now I continue to bike because it’s fun, and it beats driving most of the time. I hope it helps control my weight, but in the last 7 years, I’ve bounced between 248 and 275. I’m around 258 these days. I see other cyclists in trim spandex. Lean, with huge calves. If I had to guess, they weigh 145 pounds or less. I bike an average 60 miles a week, for over the last 7 months. I don’t look like those riders yet. Maybe I never will.

I still ride to work on my bike, but I have some bike shorts. I’ve found a 22.5 mile ride I can work into my schedule. I’ve found I can take an 8 mile ride in the morning, to extend my bike miles. I wear some more athletic clothing, and I switch into my work clothes at the office.

3 weeks ago, I had to buy a new bike though. The part of the bike that holds the crank and pedals is called the bottom bracket. It holds all my weight. It makes the bike go. I broke that part from more than 4 years of daily riding.

I can get over my lost bike. But will I ever get over my body shame?