#i was in 7th grade . i think it was... algebra . yeah. but the teacher showed us this movie with this 2 dimensional shape family

[makedamnsvre]

too many thoughts in my head . its 1:30 am

[unrestedjade]

Jade (re)watches Yu Yu Hakusho S1 E3

AKA I lose my shit over Kazuma Kuwabara for 22 minutes.

Figure 3.1: A good boy.

I love this episode so much. It doesn’t really advance the main plot, but does a lot to establish Kuwabara’s character while developing Yusuke’s further, so I certainly wouldn’t call it filler.

* Botan and Yusuke’s banter is so cute. The anime skips over most of Yusuke’s ghost stuff but I do like that it shows these two getting closer, even if it’s just implied like this. BROTP.

* Kuwabara and his homies get to be cool here, too! I’m sure a lot of their fights are over dumb teenager shit, but they’re more than willing to stick up for someone in trouble. Man, Sarayashiki’s kind of a rough town???

* Mr. Akashi is a creep and can go fuck himself for real. One of the ways this show caught my attention back when I first saw it as a kid was in the petty nastiness of the teachers. I think most of us ran into at least one that seemed hell-bent on breaking kids down for whatever fucked-up reason. (Mrs. Perkins from 7th grade algebra, I’m lookin’ at you, you miserable old jackass...)

* Kuwabara’s posse doesn’t get many lines, but I love them all. Okubo in particular, how could anyone look at this poor kid and think to themselves “yes, I’m going to make the life of this at-risk young person in my care even harder, on purpose.” Fuckin’ Akashi.

Figure 3.2: A boy who has enough shit on his plate already.

* It occurs to me, for the first time since 2001, that Kuwabara might be my fave in part because he just...gets beat up constantly. Like, he really gets his ass kicked a lot. I’m neither proud nor ashamed to admit this-- y’all know me by now. :V

* Akashi, you gonna like...call the police, or an ambulance, or do literally anything to help? Of course not, because you SET UP YOUR OWN STUDENT TO GET JUMPED AND BEATEN, WTF. “You’re pretty tricky,” he says, as this grown-ass man watches his 14-year-old nemesis getting curb-stomped. This is very stable and normal behavior.

* Literally what the fuck is this loser’s damage. This horrible little man fascinates me. I wanna take a big pair of nail clippers to his teeth but like, what drives him???

Figure 3.3: Akashi and his fucking tacky-ass chinos, left.

* “I got a 12!” |D  Yusuke, you lovable dolt. He says it with such conviction.

* “Tell us who did this” Did I mention I love the posse? These good good boys. Top shelf. Outstanding.

* The dream study session. <3 By their powers combined they form one functioning brain.

Figure 3.4: Their combined score on the previous test was still only 19/100. #godspeed

* I also just noticed that both of Kuwabara’s threats toward Yusuke so far are cat-related. If he doesn’t have, like, a secret Hello Kitty eraser in his desk or something, I’ll eat my hat. The boy has cats on the brain 24/7.

* The random dudes who talk like 1920s gangsters??? Why??? Also, one of them is also psychic? I wonder how common that is in this universe.

* Possession hyjinks, part 2! Fuck em up, Misato from school! So satisfying. How the fuck does Kuwabara not notice the absolute mayhem going on back there?

* I love the posse.

* And I fucking loathe Akashi.

* Minor, but the sound effect draws attention to it: when Yusuke goes to grab Kuwabara’s wrist, his hand actually connects instead of phasing through like he’s done every other time he’s tried to touch a living person, including the last time he tried to slug Kuwabara. Are they more attuned to each other after the last week, or is it something to do with Yusuke reaching out while motivated by something less selfish than anger or self-preservation? Or something else? QUESTIONS.

* FUCK YEAH, MR. TAKENAKA! THE ONLY GOOD TEACHER.

Figure 3.5: FUCK YEAH.

* Someone help Okubo’s family please??? Not that any of his classmates’ families can likely spare much, but c’mon. Was there a Usenet or BBS analogue to GoFundMe??? Let’s have a fundraiser raffle or a luncheon or something, damn.

[xandars]

where the birds sing

word count: 2183

warnings: none

ao3 link

Summary:  The development of Sam and Bucky’s relationship through the years, starting with a pair of binoculars. (childhood friends to lovers)

—

AGE 12

—

Sam sits carelessly on the tree branch, legs dangling and eyes closed. He takes in the warm breeze, appreciating the soft chirping of birds. He wonders how many surround him in that moment.

“Hey!”

Sam jumps at the sudden noise, opening one eye to peek at the weirdo who scared him. There’s a boy looking up at him, with blue eyes and brown hair. He’s holding something in his hand, but Sam can’t make it out from this angle.

“What are you doing up there?” The boy pries, squinting at him. Sam wishes he’d stop doing that. He turns away to look at the sky instead.

“I’m birdwatching.” He says to him. Why does he suddenly feel so embarrassed about that? Sam crosses his arms.

“Is that so?” The boy turns to look, hand hooded over his eyes to block out the sun. “How can you even see them from here? You got eagle eyes or somethin’?”

“I prefer falcons.” Sam says bluntly. With that, the boy looks up at him with a smirk. Sam rubs his arms.

“Well, hold these for me will ya?” He steps forward, holding out what Sam can now see is a pair of bulky binoculars. Sam reaches forward to take them from him, then watches as the boy starts to scale the tree to join him.

“What are you—?” The boy sits right next to Sam, a little too close if you as him. When their knees brush together, Sam shifts slightly.

“Well, someone’s gotta show you how to use them.” The boy says obnoxiously, taking the binoculars from him. He puts them up to his eyes and looks off into the distance. Sam tries to find where he’s looking.

“I’m Bucky, by the way.”

“Bucky?”

Bucky puts the binoculars down and furrows his eyebrows. “What? What’s wrong with that?”

“Nothin’ wrong with it,” Sam assures him, shrugging. He quite likes it actually. “I’m Sam.”

With that, Bucky gives him a wide smile.

Later, Sam’s mom asks about his new binoculars.

—

Turns out, Bucky goes to the same school as Sam.

Sam thinks he’s pretty smart, he’s good at math. Bucky is quick to help Sam with stuff he doesn’t understand, which he is great because he hates math. In return, Sam helps him with his writing, cause Bucky isn’t too good with words sometimes.

It isn’t long before Bucky starts poking him at recess.

“Do you wanna play basketball?” Bucky asks, holding it up for emphasis. Sam nods and joins him on the court.

Sam finds out that Bucky has four sisters, which he can’t remember all of their names but he’ll get them eventually. Bucky’s the middle child of them all, which Sam says completely sucks. He agrees.

Bucky wins their game, but Sam would never tell him he missed his shots on purpose.

A months later, a new student joins their class. His name is Steve and looks as if the wind blew on too hard he’d topple over. Kinda like the Three Little Pigs.

“My mom knows his mom,” Bucky tells him at recess. They are playing tic-tac-toe with chalk. It’s boring and a bit childish, but it passes the time. Sam puts down an ‘x’ in light green. “They worked together for a bit, I think. Apparently, he’s gotta lotta health problems.”

Bucky puts down an ‘o’, falling into Sam’s trap and loses the game.

“Again?” He whines and starts making a new game.

—

Bucky doesn’t meet him at recess, which is odd because that was their routine. That is, until Sam hears loud arguing coming from the benches. He turns to see Bucky on top of one of their classmates and rushes over before he can land another hit, yanking him off.

“H-Hey, let me go!”

“Bucky, what are you doing?” Sam asks, shaking him. He doesn’t look at Sam, opting to stare at the asphalt.

“He started it,” Bucky argues, rubbing his nose. He winces looking at the blood on his hand. “H-He started making fun of Steve, started pushing him around and stuff. What was I supposed to do?”

Before he can reply, a teacher finally comes and takes all them away. Steve glances at Sam before being taken to the nurse. He can kinda make out the beginnings of a black eye.

Sam and Bucky both get sent to the principal’s office instead. Bucky has his arms crossed. His nose is still bleeding, seeping into his blue t-shirt.

Annoyed, Sam gets up to grab a box of tissues off the front desk. Before handing them over, he tells Bucky, “You’re an absolute idiot.”

“What? I’m not the bad guy here,” Bucky complains, taking a tissue. He winces again. “Maybe you should be tellin’ Steve that, you should’ve heard the stuff he said.”

“I never said you were,” Sam continues. “But you’re quite somethin’ Barnes.” He pokes Bucky’s leg.

Instead of arguing more, Bucky gives him a wide smile. It’s almost identical from the first day they met.

Sam’s chest feels weird.

—

That night, he’s just about done with one of his books when his mother calls him down for dinner. Sam flies down the stairs and into the kitchen, welcoming the familiar smell of mac and cheese. His mother is still wearing her scrubs from the hospital.

“Hey Sammy,” She greets him, carefully spooning some macaroni into a bowl. When she places the bowl in front of him, she kisses his cheek. “How was school today?”

“Oh, you know,” Sam starts, sticking his fork into the macaroni. “Just the same old boring stuff.”

She hums with disbelief as she grabs a bowl for herself. “Do you wanna tell me why I got a call from one of your teachers today?”

Oh boy.

“Uh…no.” He stuffs some food into his mouth.

“Samuel.”

He sighs, knowing he’s already lost. “A kid was getting picked on, Mama.”

She nods, taking a seat next to Sam. “And does this new friend of yours have anything to do with it?”

“Well, you see Bucky was protecting him.”

“Ah, protecting him… I see,” She says, “Don’t I always tell you to stay out of trouble?”

“Yes, but—”

“And what am I gonna do with a troublemaker like you?” She tells him softly, a faint smile hiding behind her lips. His mother gives him a pinch on the cheek when he grins at her.

—

AGE 14

—

It’s the summer before they start high school and Sam is outside in his backyard on his old swing set. Bucky said he’d come over and hang out with him soon, which feels like complete years at this point.

He makes patterns in the dirt with his shoes and wishes Bucky was better at being on time.

Sam hops off the swing and opts to peeking at his mother’s garden. He admires her flowers and thinks about how it’d feel to give one to Bucky someday.

He shakes the thought away. He wasn’t a kid anymore. He would never—

“Hey loser, are you here?”

Bucky walks through his backyard gate, giving Sam a bright smile. He has one of his arms around his back.

“You’re a little late,” Sam tells him, walking towards his swing again. “I thought you weren’t gonna show up.”

“You really think I’d do that to you?” Bucky asks, smile falling, but then says quickly, “Well, hey, I got you these.”

He pulls out a yellow bag of butterscotch candies from behind his back and tosses them to Sam.

“I know they’re your favorite.” He adds.

Sam smiles and tears the package open, fishing two out and holding one out to Bucky.

Their hands brush briefly when he comes to take it and they sit in comfortable silence for a long time.

—

They are sitting in Sam’s living room, watching some random animated movie on TV. Both are working on homework, so they aren’t really paying attention to it.

Sam mindlessly taps his pencil on his notebook and sneaks a glance at Bucky sitting on a recliner, nose in a world history book. He thinks about how lucky he is to have his best friend, even if some days they can’t stand each other. And even on those days, they could never handle being apart.

Bucky looks up and interrupts his thoughts, “What are you dreaming about over there, Bird Brain?”

“About how much I hate you.” He replies instantly, with absolutely no bite.

“Oh, so you were dreaming about me?”

Sam doesn’t respond, just gives him an eye roll and goes back to doing his algebra homework.

“You were totally dreaming about me.” He hears Bucky mumble annoyingly.

—

AGE 17

—

Sam and Bucky go to prom together, not as a couple of course, definitely not, but you know. Together.

They join Steve and Peggy’s group, accompanied by their friend Nat and honestly, prom is fun for the most part. It was a little boring at times, but Sam just enjoys being around everyone, enjoys seeing all the dresses and suits.

They were at an afterparty now, Tony Stark’s to be exact. It’s loud and obnoxious, which is more so what he expected. He and Bucky are both outside on Tony’s back porch, sitting on a bench together and mulling over old memories.

“I still remember when you pulled me out of that fight,” Bucky says. “What was that like— in 7th grade?”

“Yeah I think so,” Sam replies, “It was Mrs. Henry that called my mom that night.”

Bucky laughs and runs a hand through his hair. “I always hated her. She was a major fuckin’ control freak.”

“Tell me about it.” Sam takes a swig from his cup, just soda, nothing too special.

“I don’t think I every properly thanked you for that,” Bucky says suddenly and turns to him. “So, thank you Sam. I think— without you I might’ve lost an arm there.”

Sam chuckles and takes another drink. “I wouldn’t be so damn dramatic.”

There’s a few moments of silence, seconds of comfort, before he hears Bucky say, “Sam, I hope you know I would give everything to you if I could.”

It’s probably not a great idea that he and Bucky are sitting this close together with no one to see or hear them. The party booms inside, music and all, but seems so distant.

Sam carefully takes Bucky’s hand.

They don’t talk about prom again.

—

A WEEK BEFORE GRADUATION

—

They are both lying in the grass next to Sam’s swing. The sun is going down, which casts a warm glow over the world and if he could, he would take a picture. A moment in time just for the two of them.

Bucky has his hands behind his head, staring up at the sky.

“Hey Sam?”

“Yeah?”

“Have you ever really thought about your future? Like… what you want?”

“I mean, yeah I guess. Aren’t you always supposed to be thinking about that stuff?”

“Yeah, but everyone tells you to think about college or a job or somethin’ like that…” Bucky trails off and sits up to start picking at the grass. “I’m talking like…like uh—”

Sam glances over and Bucky’s face flushed. He won’t look at Sam and focuses intently on a blade of grass he’s pulled from the ground. He starts to play with it until finally he asks, “Have you ever thought about getting married?”

Sam’s eyebrows furrow. Bucky didn’t really like to talk about sentimental stuff, so why was he asking about marriage?

“Of course I have.” Sam says simply.

“And…?”

“And what?”

“Wilson, you’re killing me here,” Bucky throws his hands up childishly. He finally meets Sam’s eyes. “Do you wanna get married?”

For some reason, Sam doesn’t know how to answer his question. It’s rather simple, but at the same time he can’t help but feel Bucky is asking him something else. Or rather, he wishes he was. He thinks about Bucky in a suit, thinks about two golden bands, thinks about—

“Yeah, I do.” Is all Sam can reply with. Bucky gives him a small half smile, then holds something up to Sam’s face. It was a blade of grass and tied carefully to make a small ring.

“Maybe I’ve been misreading everything, or maybe this is the stupidest thing I’ve ever done and I know we aren’t even dating, but I just— I want you to know that I think about you all the time.”

“Bucky—”

“Let me finish,” He says quickly, “Everytime I get that question about the future… it’s always with you. I can’t see myself anywhere else. Like I think I’d rather die if that were to happen,” Bucky tosses the ring. Then he falls back again, arms behind his head. “Not really, but god— I really do love you.”

Sam laughs at that last comment. He shifts to lean over Bucky and look him in the eyes.

“You’re quite somethin’, Barnes.” He says with a smirk.

“Am I?” Bucky’s eyes are practically glittering and Sam can’t focus on anything else.

“Yeah, I think so.”

Then Sam finally leans down to kiss him proper.

[cispicious]

JUNE 2, 2011

Hey there. I doubt (people will read this) that journals are supposed to be used for advertising, or propoganda about oneself. I'm guessing it's what normal journals are used for: to document the day to day trials of human life. Yea, but I'm not human. So I guess my definition of a journal shall be, "Trials of a Nephal" If you don't know what a Nephal is, ask God. Oh, and in case you're far too lazy - or just don't care about my looks - to go check my pictures, I can give you a short description right here: * I'm the same height as Taylor Momsen, my favorite celebrity. <3 * [redacted because holy shit this was bad] * I'm Jamacain and Scottish, and my hair is a sort of red-brown-blonde color. * [redacted because holy shit this was bad] So, are you looking for a biography of my life? I'm not sure I want to type that much. I guess I'll summarize it and make it even less of a biography by telling you things about myself:

I was born on January 2nd, 1996 in New York. I moved down to Florida with my family when I was 12, and have been here fro three years. (Can you calculate my age?) I'm bisexual, but I lean more towards girls. I may [redacted because holy shit this was bad]. My life revolves around music and sarcasm. My English 2 Honors teacher wrote in my yearbook to never forget the essence of my spark. Lol, no. My teacher's not Taylor Swift. She actually told me to never lose my sarcasm, and who am I to defy a teacher? .... I like to think that I'm humorous enough to start a YouTube webshow, but even though I have an HD Camcorder, I can never find the willpower to do such things. Maybe because I'm really sensitive and insecure, and I doubt I can take the hate comments....right. Anyway. People think I'm a player because of the rather extensive list of people I've been with. Honestly, I used to be a player. I've only been turned down once in my life, and only God knows why. Because it can't be my dashing good looks or humble personality, right? Oh my, looks like I've hit the irony button again. I'm actually in love right now, and I can't tell you who, just in case you jealous bitches go on a rampage.

Anyway, shall I post about my day? I'm in 7th period - Speech and Debate - right now. My friend Barbara and I are the only girls on this side of the room. It's not like we ever do anything in here. We're too effing smart, so we just keep quiet while the bumbling idiots around us try to keep up with the teacher, and stumble over words like oppression. I just showed her that. She laughed. x) Oh, um, the rest of the class is either playing games or watching The Great Debaters. I saw it in 8th grade. I don't need to see it again. The boy, Junior, isn't exactly eye candy. Finals begin tomorrow. Me and my science project parter don't have to take a Biology final, because we won the science project competition. (We - I - made an action movie about the project, pretending to be spies who had to solve the Problem, or else the White House would blow up.) Let's call her Erica. I'm scared to be alone with her, if we have to go to a different room, because she has a crush on me. And she doesn't even know I'm bisexual. She makes people move so she can sit next to me, touches me innapropriately, and told me that she knows that we're supposed to be soulmates. Save me. So here's my question of the day - supposing I write everyday and that any of you care - : What do you do when you want to make someone stop loving you, but you don't want to stop being their friend or hurt their feelings?

JUNE 3RD 2011

I'm only making this 'cause someone's making me. Let's have a recap of my day, shall we? 6:33 - woke up over an hour late. I didn't shower and merely tussled my hair, and I ate breakfast in the car. Got to school on time, despite what my dad thought. Realized I didn't have my Biology textbook which was due today. Panicked for a second, then decided not to give a shutzpah. In Latin 2, I spent like, ten minutes on my final. I had my AE do it for me, then I went to sleep in the chair on the other side of the room. It smelled funkeh. In Biology, I didn't have to take a final so I went to the Media Center with Jackie, and not Erica. Fank chu, Lawd for making her not come. So I sat down in the back, and Jackie - constant bully that she is - made me sit on the floor so that she could read comfortably on the place where I was lounging. It was cold in there. Um, nothing exciting really happened. My sister is annoying the hellzpah out me and I'm gonna kill her. Question of the day: Why isn't it possible to go back in time yet?

JUNE 6TH 2011

Hello, ladies and gents. So, today is the second day of finals and the beginning of the end. That's right. IT'S THE LAST WEEK OF SCHOOL!!!11!!111!! I took my English 2 Honors and Algebra 2 exams earlier today (actually I just finished my Algebra) and I have to say I was dissapointed by the lack of imagination by my teachers. I mean, these tests were a bit too easy- not that anything's wrong with that. But you ever get that feeling that once you believe something to be incredibly easy, turns out you got every damn thing wrong? Yeah. That's how I feel. Anywho, this guy I think is adorkable (and he's a skater, swoon!) opened the door for me and made a cute joke. Now before you say "oh dear Lord is this just another hopeless romantic?" let me tell you that he only does it for me. When anyone else is at the door, he just stares at it like it's the door to Armagaddeon or something. I have a question: Do any of you believe in alter ego's? Do you believe it's possible to seperate your body from yours? (Google!) I have one. My friend named her Cali, don't ask. But if any of you have had encounters with your AE's, PM me. We need to discuss something. But that wasn't my question of the day. The real question is: Is it possible for your Alter Ego to become their own person?

JUNE 7TH 2011

But I set fire to the rain Watched it pour as I touched your face Well, it burned while I cried 'Cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name When laying with you I could stay there Close my eyes, feel you here forever You and me together, nothing is better 'Cause there's a side to you that I never knew, never knew All the things you'd say, they were never true, never true And the games you's play, you would always win, always win I'm in love with this song. I cried hearing this girl sing it. I think I'm in love with her now. WHY CAN'T i HAVE A VOICE LIKE HERS, GOD??????? I'm gonna cry. This song makes me cry. Her voice. So damn angelic. Anyway, about my day: IT SUCKED. The only fun part was during homeroom when we were playing Scrabble, [redacted because holy shit this was bad]. Oh, and I talked to my friend Ella for the first time in months. I swear, I'm just going to keep promoting this girl. I wonder if I can get her number....sigh. If only she had red hair. LAWL. I'm just joking guys. My heart belongs to Caraquel. Yanno, when she wants it. Anywhom Question of the Day: What makes you laugh?

JUNE 8TH 2011

Tomorrow's the last day of school. I finished my Speech and Debate class early, so I'm coming here. I'm about to pour out my feelings here. I'm about to get deep. Like, 6 feet underground deep, brah. So, I think I'm in love. With the fucking world. I have this problem where I love too much. I suppose there's a gap in my heart from not getting enough love when I was a kid, or maybe my brain is just fucked up. I've fallen two feet, I've been dropped, I've had a glass cup of coffee fall on my head all before I finished kindergarten. Maybe that's why my brain is fucked up. There's a lump in my head, and I'm not sure if that's normal. I think it messed up my mouth-brain connection, where I don't say what I think. Like, if I think "Mr. John's class is nice." I'll end up saying. "Mr. John has a nice ass." or something, when the guy is like 1,000 years old and looks like Santa Claus. And the sad thing is- I can never remember saying it. Sometimes I think it's Cali saying these things, and other times I think I'm just special. I love my girlfriend, my ex, and my two best friends. (But I love Cara the most.) I get jealous beyond belief when they so much as mention another person. The thing is, I should only love my girlfriend. 'Cause she's the only one that (I think) even wants to marry me. And that's the only reason I'd ever be interested in a person- because I think they're worth it for the long haul. I really should get over all the others, because they're taken and they don't want me for the long run. They want me for the here and now, I guess. Or maybe they want me for the here and now so they can see what they'd be getting in the long run. I'm so confused and I'm hurting, but I just can't stop loving. My girlfriend's favorites on Twitter are chock full of gay boys telling her they love her. And I get jelly because I'm the first - and only - girl she's ever liked ('cause I'm just that rockin') but she could probably change their sexualities. My best friend, Cara, I just...I just love her. I'm crying right now IN EFFING PUBLIC because of how much it would kill me to not have her in my life, to not have her love. And if you are reading this Caraquel, I love you. I love you. I know Cali said she was helping me get over you, but I don't think it's possible. Every time I think about you...it's not possible to live without you. But yeah. I need to get my cranium checked. This just ain't realistic. I mean, whenever my friends come to me about their relationship problems, I think "Oi, if only it were possible for me to love you all." but mostly because I hate it when they cry over some chick who doesn't give two flying shits about anyone but herself. So, my questions of the day are: Is it possible to have fucked up the love gland in your brain? Is it possible to love more than one person? Is it possible to die from heartbreak?

[itismetheperson]

life update including why i've been gone and end of middle school stuffs

Well hello there. My name is Nabila and I am a blogger. Or at least I've been calling myself one for.... the past five years I think? You probably didn't notice but I missed a post last week. This is probably normal for most people but for me, it's just not. I've been posting consistently for about two years now. That's pretty cool. For a while I was posting on both Mondays and Thursdays but with school it was downgraded to just Monday. Lately though I haven't had much motivation. I think this has been a thing for a while but I just ignored it. I was like oh, I guess I'm just tired today or I just haven't had that much time. But I missed a post last week and.... I wasn't sad about it? And I mean... I had time to write one. But I was majorly procrastinating. It has been kind of nice though. I've been hanging with my family more. But yeah basically I've been in a total blog slump and I'm still not sure what I'm going to do. I thought I would hop on though and give y'all a little life update.

1. It's been raining a lot Pretty much this whole week there has been a flood watch. Friday (Yesterday as I'm writing this) we got off of school because it was flooding and raining really hard. I've had experience with flooding but it's always stressful. This time thankfully my neighborhood hasn't been hit and no one I know has actually gotten there stuff flooded. Mostly just some street flooding.

2. STAAR Testing STAAR is the big test that we take every year. The subjects that we have to take vary by year. In 8th grade we have to take math (or for me algebra), reading, science, and US history. The reading one was easy and I took that one like a month ago. Algebra though was seriously stressing me out. I'm not the best at algebra and since it's a high school credit you have to pass the test to get the credit. I actually studied which is not something I can say about most tests. I have science and history next week. I'm actually so annoyed about next week. Basically the whole week we are going to be in testing sites. Monday and Tuesday, 6th and 7th graders are testing so we have to be in the same class the whole day. My teacher said we'll have study material we can look at. On Wednesday and Thursday are the actual science and history tests. History is supposed to be hard cause there is just so much material. I have been studying some for that so I would say I'm pretty prepared.

3. It's the end of the year and everyone's done I'm in 8th grade now so I'm going to high school next year. There is only like 3 more weeks left of school until break and pretty much everyone in my grade is done with learning. We all know where we are going to high school. We still have to take all of our finals though so it's a bit of a struggle 4. End of year activities  There are some fun end of year activities for 8th graders though!! Next week is the 8th grade dance which I'm very excited for!! It's a formal so everyone is dressing up and it's just 8th graders. All of the other dances are mixed grade levels. The other grades can be, well... annoying sometimes haha. Splashdown, graduation, the improv show, broadcast video showcase, and my belt ceremony are also all coming up!!

5. Instagram deleted all of my drafts I have a bunch of photos and posts saved on Instagram so I think three days ago when I was about to go post they just weren't there. I just kind of freaked out. It takes me a lot of time to write posts and that's also how I knew what photos I had already used. At this point I just haven't really posted. It's not like I was growing anyway. My follower count has literally been decreasing??? So yeah that's definitely not helping my spirits. I'm thinking about totally changing my feed and not using long captions or hashtags anymore. I know that's how you are supposed to grow but my thought process is, what's the point in putting in all of that effort if it's not working?  Which I know is terrible but just ahhh. ALSO since I have to go through my photos again I'm thinking about starting another theme. Maybe more warm tones? I've been doing cool blue vibes for a while and I think it's time for a change. 6. Video content I've been getting more and more into making videos whether it be on IGTV or youtube. I've been becoming more comfortable with it and also just getting more ideas. I think over the summer I'm going to work a lot on editing. As of this point I'm not sure but I think I'm going to make YouTube my main channel. I'll still write blog posts because I think some stuff is better written, but a whole lot less often. That's currently what I'm thinking but I'm not sure. I just think YouTube has made me happier and it's a more accessible and popular platform especially for people my age.

7. High school I've been going to a bunch of events lately for my high school. I'm doing theater there so I had to audition (I got in!!!), we had to go to pick classes, and next week we're going for a little orientation because I'm planning on taking health during the summer. Because of this I've also been around a bunch of high schoolers and it's low key making me freak out. They are so much cooler than me???? And have cooler clothes than me?? And there was this couple like making out in the hallway one time and I was just like ahhhhh. I do have a lot of friends going there though I think is going to help so so much. :)

This post has taken me like all day to write because I guess I'm just crazy?? I don't know?? Anyway though yeah. I don't really have my life together right now. But that's A ok. I'm going to figure it out, but first I'm going to enjoy my last weeks of middle school (and possibly vlog it because why the heck not, memories right?). 

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[just-chats]

I just took a big Geometry test and spent 7 hours on it. (This week was finals week in my online school.) I was shaking, I cried about two times, and every second I was taking it, I had to assure myself that I would be okay. I don't think I did very well, and my average grade may drop from an A to a B. I'm not really worried too too much about the last bit, but even though I finished all my school for today, I still feel a bit shaken up? Could you help me feel a bit better? (100% truthful btw.)

Oh my, are you okay? I think you need to take some time to relax and calm yourself down, it’s really generic advice but listening to music, watching my favorite movies/shows/youtube videos, drawing, and dancing calm me down when stressed.

I’ll try my best to cheer you up though, even if it probably won’t help….

This is going to be a long post btw.

I’m gonna talk about my exam week because it was pretty chill for once.

While monday was a regular day, Tuesday was when exams actually started and it was only 0 hour and 6th period, earth and space, (there’s 7 periods by the way) so the rest of the classes were shorten by a few minutes, and after I turned my paper in I had my mom sign me out, but no the teacher lady just HAD to be extra and have me send it over email even when she told us to never send her emails ever. After complaining for 20 minutes I had it sent and was enjoying my time at home.

Oh and by the way, after we take our 2 hour exam in that class we don’t have to go back.

Wednesday was 5th and 7th period, I have art 5th period and I was just telling some of my life stories to a new friend I made last week and, after sharing a hella embarrassing story involving me and another guy in the same class (if you wanna know about that one just let me know, it’ll prolly make you feel better knowing of my suffering) we exchanged some playful bants while teasing each other before it was time to go.

I didn’t have a 7th period, with it being my off period, so I went home after that too.

Yesterday was 1st and 3rd period exams with only 2nd and 4th remaining so while exams were 2 hours long the “regular” classes were an hour and five minutes and I had to stay the whole day because of how the schedule was.

2nd period started the day and I talked about prom dresses, some funny memes, and what movies I should watch over Christmas break with a couple of friends before going to 3rd.

3rd period I also had art (if you couldn’t tell tell, I’m an art kid) and I was with a close friend of mine. There was a sorta “party” thing going on and it was pretty chill, I still did my art work but I gotta admit it got pretty boring sitting in the same room I spent two hours in the day before.

4th period I have dual credit government and lemme tell you, I’m a very smart kid but that shit is difficult. It’s online and while it’s not new to me this class was a struggle because: you gotta take your own notes, the teacher is a biased republican, and her grading system is all messed up. Yesterday I took the chance, while having 65 minutes in there, to take my final quiz. I ended up getting a 76 on the quiz and in the class but I don’t even care anymore, it’s over and next semester is economics.

The last class of the day was 1st, which is college algebra, the good thing about this class is that even though it’s online there’s a teacher to teach you. We took our final exam for the class and I think I got and 80-something on that but my grade still remained an A so I’m happy about that. Hoping that next semester I can do college statistics instead of pre cal.

Today is supposed to be a late start and early release because its only 2nd and 4th period. My second period is AP English IV and 4th, as I said earlier, is dual credit government. My English teacher said we didn’t have a final this semester and I finished my government class yesterday so guess what? My tired ass stayed home.

I still woke up at my usual time because of that internal clock thing but as I’m typing this its 8:40AM and I am planning to have a quiet, relaxing day to congratulate myself on a good semester filled with As and B+s, with that one stray C.

So yeah, that was my finals week as a whole and I’m not even sure if I made you feel better, or just told you about my experiences this past week. If you’re still feeling upset just ask to hear that awkward experience I was talking about earlier, that’s sure to bring a laugh outta you.