#i was rereading all my old PT notes from the first two runs

[fereldanwench]

not me having an impulse to start yet another canon!run for valerie

[outerspaceisbetterthannothing]

My Ultimate Reading List v2.0 Fics

A/N: As some of you have heard or seen, My Ultimate Reading List (in it’s original version) has crashed on desktop because of (as I realised trying to restore it) too big number of links, so I’m basically recreating the whole thing in a new format. This post goes for One Shots and Serieses. There’s one more post for Blurbs. I’m really sorry for the tag notifs for the people who has been tagged already in a previous version. Hope it’s not much of an inconvenience. I’m also not going to delete the first version of the list, as it’s been liked and reposted a lot of times, it’s still working on mobile, so some might still use it. But all the updates are going to happen only on this post, which I’m going to put in my bio instead of an old one.

So, this list was created because of my crazy urge to reread favourite fics and blurbs from time to time. It was made purely for me, but if it helps you to find a fic or a writer you’d love, I’d be only happy. I tried to make navigation easy. For blurbs links go to my reblogs, for oneshots and full lengths links go to the original posts. I try to check links from time to time, but if you see that some of them don’t work, please, hmu.

* stands for the implied smut

*** stands for the pure smut

This list is far from finished, that’s just the first things that came to mind and/or were reblogged. Still have a ton to add. So will update it every now and then.

NOTE, pls: There’s no Michael content here! And that’s not because I don’t like him or don’t appreciate him enough. I guess, it’s quite the opposite tbh. There’s no Michael content here because I appreciate him too much. I love this cute little kitten, he’s the most precious soul and, most of the time I think, there would be no 5sos without Michael Gordon Clifford. I just don’t have any fantasies or images of him in me, don’t see him in any way romantically. That’s why I don’t read (or write for that matter) about him as main character. I understand, that I miss a whole lotta great authors and fics because of that. Maybe it’ll change in the future. But for now, it is what it is.

Also HUGE SHOUT OUT TO THE PEOPLE WHOSE WRITING IS ON THE LIST - THANK YOU FOR THIS! THESE FICS AND BLURBS BELOW HAVE REALLY GIVEN ME ALL TYPES OF FEELS, INSPIRATION, MOTIVATION AND CONTENT. I’M FOREVER GRATEFUL FOR THESE WONDERFUL GIFTS YOU GAVE TO ALL OF US.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, WONDERFUL PEOPLE! ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU!

Oneshots

Ashton

Heartbeat by @gigglyirwin [Classic fluff and one of my all time faves]

Our Shining Star [Dad!Ashton] by @myloverboyash [Special thank you to @lashtoncurls for the tracking down the runaway author lol]

Blindfold*** by @cal-puddies​ [Cashton smut which is too hot for this world]

Ain’t nobody got a drummer like mine*** by @myloverboyash [Drumming and banging 👀 at the drum kit]

I Can Love You In The Shower*** by @myloverboyash [Cute giggly shower sex with a little bit of trauma]

Will We Always Be Pretending*** by @myloverboyash [Bff to lovers AND fake dating in one fic, what else could you wish for???]

Wherever You Are*** by @myloverboyash [childhood best friends to lovers]

Let Me Be The One To Save You pt 1 and pt 2 by @myloverboyash [prince!Ashton Au by which I am intrigued and I AM WAITING PATIENTLY, SKYLER, LOL]

Noticed Nights by @calpops [Artist!Ash and another masterpiece by Eve]

Calum

The Little Spoon by @gigglyirwin [Classic fluff] 

Valentine’s Day*** by @angelbabylu

Lucky Shot In Paradise*** by @cakesunflower [Bartender!Cal]

Heartbeat by @uncrownedqueeen [Dad!Cal]

All These Years by @felicitycal

Blindfold*** by @cal-puddies [Cashton smut which is too hot for this world]

No chemistry*** by @novacxlum [Heartbreakingly great college enemies to lovers]

Where were you in the morning?* by @snapbackcake [If this ultimately truthful but sad af one won’t make you cry, consider asking for help, because it’s too sad but also beautiful as hell]

Let me good to you*** by @snapbackcake [The description says it’s 6.8k words of absolute filth, and I have nothing else to add besides of what a great filth it is, so, 18+ kids]

Road Trip: Cake*** by @softforcal [Er, Cake threesome, idek what to say here]

Redamancy by @cakesunflower [Heart wrecking fluff]

Birthday Getaway by @etherealhood [Cuteness and romance overload]

Ghost of you by @myloverboyash [Super angst, prepare to cry your eyeballs out, and i’m still in my feels, Skyler, how could you???]

Picture this by @currentlyupcalsass [One of the best college au’s ever]

Best Friend’s Brother*** by @lukescaboose [Nerdy Cal and soft smut]

Another Ride*** by @babyloontrash [Another Cal smut which is like, really hot]

The Course of True Love Never Did Run Smooth*** by @i-calumhood [Wonderful enemies to fuck buddies to lovers with an asshole college!Cal]

Ice*** by @morningfears [Super hot enemies to lovers with hockey player Cal aka an ultimate dream]

Ka Hopena by @wildflowergrae​ [Soulmate AU, surfing and Hawaii, what else can you ask for?]

We Got That Good Love*** by @myloverboyash​ [Sex in the shower and like wet Calum)]

Balloon*** by @currentlyupcalsass [one of the most precious things I have ever read in my entire live! realisation of love to Calum of mc and absolute happiness for you]

First Concert by @ukulelecal [dad!Cal and kids visiting 5sos concert]

Eleven*** by @babyloontrash [fwb with breakfast]

Luke

Boyfriend’s little brother*** by @lukehemmingssmut  [There was also a second part promised, sooooo ^.^]

Fuck me like you hate me*** by @myloverboyash

Baby*** by @lukescaboose [Sweetest ever bff to lovers with soft boi Lu]

Hashimoto by @burncrashbromance​ [special for Disabled!Sos]

Full lengths and Serieses

Ashton

Hate sex Series*** by @irwinofficial Tell Me How Much You Hate Me, Our Kinky Secret, Good Enough, No Longer A Secret  [one of the best Ash smuts ever 👀]

Side chick*** by @cal-puddies [Beautifully filthiest smut with cheating, all the wrong choices and Cashton love triangle] part 1, part 2

Calum

Sugar Coated Pain by @cakesunflower [Boxer!Cal] [That’s what I lost my 5sos-fanfiction-virginity to, so, hey, Summer, thanks for the experience lmao]

Cigarette series*** by @cal-puddies [Best friend!Calum and a lot of hot smut 👀] Cigarette, Corona, Rolling Papers, Black on Black, Stuck [which was later replaced by the next part, but I’ll put it as long as it exists on the original list of parts, but don’t get confused], Navy Button Down, A Hotter Touch, Pancakes, The Second Thing, Ours, Losing You, Little toes, Holy Water, Date Night, Me, You and Little Hood, Five Years Later

Wherever you are by @mysticalhood [Long distance with Cal and tons of tears with me]

Dates With Cal by @calpops [this is so cute i higkey don’t want it to end like ever] First date, Second date, Second date pt, Third date, Calum cooking part one and two, The next evening, Cuddling and meeting guys, Worrying about ‘his girl’, Being her only guy, Meeting Mali, Soft nights, Talking about her family, Not everybody liking her, Tropical getaway, Being smitten around guys, Leaving talk, Night before the tour, Being away from each other, Cal coming home, Saying ‘i love you’, Cal being jealous of Duke, Watching her in the morning, Taking a bath together, Talking to guys about taking a next step, Grocery shopping, Asking her to move in, Choosing a house, Packing her stuff, Packing his stuff, First night in the new house, Unpacking, Finding out habits

Business Blurbs by @calpops [series of blurbs of Calum and Ash being owners of a record shop, Luke keeping an antique store and Mike having a bakery]

Masquerade Made by @calpops [fake dating college AU blurb series] First party, Fighting in a philosophy class

Veiled Valor by @calpops [pirate!Calum, runaway princess, heart wrecking mutual pining and writing style deserving 19th century prose] Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7

Versace on the Floor by @singt0mecalum [Dad’s friend Calum, age difference and *supposedly* hottiest content] Intro chapter

[fuwafuwamedb]

A Cursed G Pt 10 (Gilgamesh, Hakuno, Rin, Cu Chulainn)

Previous Part: One - Haku POV / Gil POV, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine

______

She could feel something warm against her arms.

Opening her eyes, Hakuno could see a fluff of golden fur near her face. She could feel the cat cuddling close, she could feel his tongue starting to lick at her face.

“G-Gilgamesh…”

His face was moving in close. The softest of sounds escaping him.

It was different from his usual complaints.

Everything was hurting. Her stomach felt like it was sour, her body felt like it was running a fever, there was sweat all over her person… She shifted, holding her stomach as she did.

The room around her was a sty.

The fridge hung open, beeping softly to let her know that things were not going to be in good condition anymore. A bag was open on the floor, the turkey that had been inside long gone. The cabinets were hanging open, the sink running strongly as she noted that there were broken dishes on the floor from the night she had had Sakura and Emiya over.

Movement made the pain blanch down her leg.

In front of her, Gilgamesh meowed softly and pawed at her.

If there was the ability to speak available, she would have told Gilgamesh that she was fine. She would have taken a moment to ignore her pain as best she could and simply pet her cat for a bit. She would make sure that he knew that she was okay and that things were going to be fine.

Instead, her mouth opened and what came out went in another direction, coloring the floor in a manner that had her cringing inside.

Gilgamesh backed up, lowering his ears at the sight.

She had to agree. It really wasn’t a pretty picture.

Crawling to the bathroom was a chore that she would never wish upon the worst of people. The water took eternity to warm under her hand. She leaned against the porcelain, letting the cold do wonders to her pain.

She was covered in dried blood.

There was blood matted in Gilgamesh’s fur as well.

“Gil…”

Hakuno looked over at the cat, her breathing coming in a bit ragged. She held her arms out and pulled the cat close.

Her lips pressed against him.

Everything hurt. Everything was horrible and nothing was going right. Who knew how long time had passed.

The only thing she knew for sure was that Gilgamesh was here. She wasn’t alone.

Tears were coming to her eyes as she held the cat close.

Gilgamesh was squirming in her arms, twisting and turning until he could look her in the face. She could feel his body moving in closer to hers, his face nuzzling against her skin.

“Let’s clean ourselves up,” she murmured to him.

Time came and went.

She didn’t want to do a damn thing until the pain was gone and the sickness in her bones went away. She lay for the longest time with Gilgamesh curled up on top of her. She could see the cat leaning his head against her, relaxing.

How long had she been asleep?

Were Sakura and Emiya alright?

Everything still hurt when she climbed out of the tub. She wrapped a robe from behind the door around her person, taking a few minutes to blowdry Gilgamesh before she headed for the kitchen.

Cleaning was longer than the bath.

She had to stop at times, panting and leaning against the wall.

She ordered a soup and a couple sandwiches from a restaurant nearby, opting to give Gilgamesh both the sandwiches when the food arrived.

Time didn’t matter. Everything hurt and she was exhausted beyond all reason. They went to her room as the sun set.

Once again the two of them were simply existing, snuggling close to one another. She ran a brush through Gilgamesh’s hair as he ate his food and curled up close to her side.

“You took care of me the best you could while I was out, didn’t you?”

The cat looked to her, purring quietly.

“I’m a stubborn fool. Sorry about that.”

That was alright though.

They spent the night resting properly. And, in the morning, Hakuno checked the day and sent out information about what had happened. Her friends had been in an accident and she had been “caring” for them.

Work was fine.

Classes were going to be bothersome when she returned next week.

Hakuno glanced to Gilgamesh and opted for another day of resting.

This was turning into a bad habit really.

She moved the cards on the table to the floor, writing out more words onto the cards and organizing them by part of speech. While she worked, she could see Gilgamesh patting at some of the cards, talking to her.

[Health] [you]

“I’m doing alright, Gil. I just need to take things easy.

[Fool]

“I know. I shouldn’t have gotten that desperate. If something like that had happened to you, I wouldn’t have thought twice about doing it though.”

[He][useless]

Hakuno rolled her eyes, continuing to make more words for Gilgamesh to be able to use.

[He][useless]

Gilgamesh was patting his paw incessantly on the second card, watching her with an undying focus.

“If I hadn’t saved him, then Sakura would have lost the man she loved.”

[Useless]

“Maybe, but I made that choice.”

She wouldn’t regret it either. She knew for sure that, if worst came to worst, she would be able to protect and heal those around her that needed help. She was strong enough to handle saving a life. It had only cost her half a week to manage as well.

If doctors or hospitals could do the same, they would have had a different world around them. She wanted to reread as much as she could about the Sumerians and about other cultures as well, try to find more evidence of healing and magic amongst the texts so she could improve. If she couldn’t learn from remaining writings, then she would have Gilgamesh teach her. He had started this magic within her, hadn’t he?

Gilgamesh meowed again, gathering her attention back before he was prowling amongst the cards.

[Careful] [magic][limit]

“I’m going to be careful. I won’t use my magic for anything more than unlocking doors or locking them like I did before I passed out.”

Gilgamesh nodded, looking around the cards again.

[You][strong]

Was… was that a compliment?

That was surprising.

“Are you feeling alright, Gil?”

The cat growled at her a moment before looking through the card collection again.

[Fool]

[Fool][Fool][Fool]

His foot continued to tap at the card and Hakuno laughed, shaking her head. Her hands grabbed one of the rope toys from nearby and waved it over the cat’s head, watching him struggle with his basic instincts again.

There was one more thing other than more cards that she wanted to do.

Well… Make it two.

She took a picture of the cards on the floor and printed off a sheet of thick paper with all the cuneiform and regularly written words on them for Gilgamesh to have.

Why would he need this?

Her purchase came the first day of the weekend, the bag and it’s window intriguing the cat a moment before she explained.

“Since you don’t seem to like to be around the house all day when I leave, I’m going to carry you around in this bag. It’s big enough that I can carry you around and I have this,” she held up the paper, “in case you think you need to talk to me during the day.”

She would say it was a game that she and Gilgamesh had developed.

Dogs could shake hands and lay down. She could pretend that Gilgamesh liked to play “pat the paper” sometimes.

[Good]

Monday came.

Hakuno found herself feeling like a fool walking around with Gilgamesh in her bag.

Her professor took one look and rolled his eyes, turning back to the board and beginning his lecture. She could sense Rin and Rani nearby, glancing into her bag to see Gilgamesh looking back at them.

The Sumerian class had Gilgamesh perched on his hind legs, his eyes following along as the teacher began to explain the gods and their importance upon history.

The look on the cat’s face, the way he fell at the example of how Gilgamesh was slaughtered for his lack of belief in the gods; Hakuno couldn’t help but feel bad.

“There’s of course, no Sumerian gods,” the teacher explained. “He was most likely killed by Enkidu, who was the one to take over the kingdom after he vanished. The fact that the people claim that he disappeared and the fact that Enkidu made it a point to say that the king had vanished no doubt was to keep the people from rising up against him.”

Hakuno unzipped the backpack, reaching in and stroking Gil’s head gently.

She shared her sandwich with the cat during lunch and listened to the others talk about visiting Sakura and Emiya during the upcoming weekend.

“Hakuno.”

Hakuno glanced over at Rin, pausing from giving bits of her sandwich to Gilgamesh.

“How bad was it? The hospital wouldn’t let us go see Sakura and Emiya and we haven’t been able to find out any information.”

“I don’t know… The car came fast.”

The two women nodded, their faces turning glum.

“…The doctors said that Emiya ran out to save Sakura.”

“She’s lucky he did,” Rin pointed out to Rani. “If he hadn’t, we would have completely lost Sakura. She should have been paying attention to the road before running across the street to her car. Or she should have just parked in Hakuno’s driveway.”

Rani nodded. “Still… Poor Sakura. She probably feels bad that Emiya was hurt.”

That sounded like Sakura.

She really cared about those close to her. She would have been devastated if Emiya had died. Again, it just made knowing the magic that she knew that much better. It just made her actions that night much more worthwhile.

“What’s this?”

Hakuno paused from her thoughts, glancing up to find Cu Chulainn leaning over her bag and Gilgamesh eating.

She shrugged.

“I decided to steal an ancient Sumerian king from his time after learning he was cursed into becoming a cat. I shoved him into a spaceship like backpack and have been toting him around the campus in order to learn how to properly conquer the campus and recreate an entirely new Uruk to replace the old one.”

Gilgamesh stared at her, the food dropping from his mouth.

Cu Chulainn began chuckling.

“Yeah? How’s that working out?”

“The problem with cursed people is that you can’t just stop the curse on a whim.”

Rin groaned, shaking her head.

“You two idiots are terrible at conversation. We’re talking about Emiya and Sakura here!”

“That’s an oddly specific joke, Hakuno,” Rani complained. “At least pretend you were paying attention to Rin’s whining.”

She waved a hand, picking up the food that Gil had dropped and holding it up for him again.

He ate slowly, eyeing her carefully as he ate.

Cu shrugged a little.

“Just do what they do in all the books and shit. Find the source of the curse or true love or somethin’.”

The source?

That was a thought.

She hadn’t really learned about the curse much from Gilgamesh. They hadn’t actually known how the whole thing worked until she’d estimated when he would become human again.

Finding out the source…

“Hakuno… HAKUNO!”

She jumped, her gaze darting to Rin.

“Are you going to head to your next class?”

“Right.”

She pushed Gilgamesh into his bag and gave a nod to the group, hurrying off to the first class of the afternoon.

Things… quietened.

She wasn’t sure whether life had just realized how absurd it had become or if she had just had a stroke of luck, but nothing was going on. Instead, she delved into the world of human to animal transformations in the library.

Lots of werewolves, she found.

Gilgamesh curled up on her lap in the evenings, purring away quietly as she would stroke his fur and read on.

The weekend was around again.

Hakuno found herself making up an excuse and passing on the hospital visit.

“I can’t go see them right now,” she told Gilgamesh. “You and I are working on resolving your curse.”

Besides, going to see the two would just remind her of all the things she’d seen that night. The blood running over her hands as she tried to stop Emiya’s bleeding, the bone sticking out, causing some of Emiya’s screaming in her ears as she started to heal him.

It was little surprise when she got a text saying that Sakura and Emiya had been discharged and were at Emiya’s home.

Neither of them had been terribly wounded by the time the paramedics had arrived.

The relief of knowing they were curled up in a proper bed was nice though. Hakuno gave a small smile to Gilgamesh and picked the cat up. “Steaks tonight?”

They dined like kings, enough so that Gilgamesh was flopping to his side once done and sprawling his limbs out.

Her research continued into the week.

There was nothing really worthy of note though. Nothing went back to Babylon or Mesopotamia that she could find. Nothing worthwhile anyway. A few stories were going that far back, but the genre of fiction made them highly questionable.

Her eyes drifted to the calendar as she found Friday upon them.

Friday the first.

Dinner was ordered, her shift was traded off.

Hakuno took a quick shower as soon as they got home and waited, watching the windows as the sun began to sink over the horizon.

They were both watching.

Waiting…

Three…

Two…

A flash of light came from beside her and the king had returned.

[honeyedhoseok]

Besitos (TA!Jimin) ENDING Notes

This will be a sort of talking/explanation/ranting post about the end of Besitos (TA!Jimin). Side note: look at this old banner with my old url :’) brings back memories....

If you have no idea whats going on, I made a post about it HERE. 

********SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT!!!!!!!!!*********

I’ve just finished rereading the two parts I posted of this story and can I just say: this story gives me hella anxiety. Some of the dialogue is so cringey, and there are no dialogue tags to tell who is saying what sometimes, and Y/N and Jimin’s relationship seems a little fast to me—but hey, I did write the first part almost TWO years ago. I can’t fault myself for looking back on it and shuddering a little. I’d like to think that means I’ve grown a lot as a writer if I can point out the flaws in my old stuff.

 Now, on to the story line.

 The last part leaves off with Jimin and Y/N getting cockblocked by Taehyung through the wall of Jimin’s apartment. I want to note here that I realized while rereading—earlier in the story, I establish Taehyung as Jimin’s “wingman” of sorts, but then he ends up accidentally ruining everything about their alone time they were supposed to be having because he and Jenny end up staying the night. I don’t know if that was intentional or an accident on my end—it’s nowhere in my notes (which are few and sparse) and sometimes when you’re writing, you go to places you didn’t expect. But, I knew in that scene I NEEDED something to happen where Y/N and Jimin couldn’t have sex—one, because I didn’t want to write it yet, and two, because, well their relationship is fresh. And Besitos was originally supposed to be just fluff.

 The third part of Besitos was supposed to start right where the second left off—Y/N in Jimin’s apartment the next morning as they are waking up. In a document titled “Besitos pt 3”, I have only THIS small scene written:

You woke up the next morning to a slight tickling sensation on your hip—fingertips running softly up and down in an aimless manner that had you smiling in your half-asleep state.

You rolled over to come face to face with a sleepy Jimin, the rays of sunlight from his window casting him in a golden light, and even more so as he grinned at you with messy hair and puffy eyes. “Good morning.”

“Good morning,” you said, yawning. “How long have you been up?”

“Just a little while,” he replied. “I heard Taehyung and Jenny shuffling around—she’s an early riser.”

“Oh, are they still here?”

 Yes, I’m fully aware that I suck lol. But the third part was supposed to go something like this: I wanted to showcase that Jimin and Y/N were taking the proper steps to finishing out the school year strong. In my head, chapter three would have had a little cute scene at the beginning with Y/N and Jimin playing around in bed. Then Y/N would suddenly realize she told her roommates before that she was going to drink with her Psychology friends .  . . and ended up staying out all fucking night, hence, a lie to her roommates. They would be waiting for her when she got home, wondering what happened, and Y/N would finally give them the details of her and Jimin. Her roommates would be shocked—as would anyone—and be a little hurt that she didn’t believe she could confide in them, blah blah, then it would eventually lead to a tied up ending to those unsure feelings Y/N was having since the beginning.

 The only thing I had thoroughly planned out next was the end of the school year. So, as filler between her friends scene and the ending scene, I wanted to put in something that related to the title. As you may know, besitos means little kisses in Spanish, so I wanted to play on that. I had in mind that Jimin and Y/N don’t get to see each other as much as they wanted to (or spend alone time together) so whenever they can, they get in these “little kisses” to hold each other over until they can. Corny, I know, but whatevs lol. I have this line of dialogue written down in my notebook where Y/N says, “Can’t you give me something? One little kiss?” and so I wanted to incorporate that in.

As for the end, I just wanted Y/N and Jimin to hold off on really, truly, being a couple until Y/N finished the school year. The summer would be when they could both really spend time together and I wanted Y/N to finally decided that she wanted to become a creative writing major by the end. I had it in my head that Y/N was going to take creative writing classes in the summer to get ahead (because she’s switching her major late) and so she’ll still be in town at the university and so will Jimin, so they’ll be together quite a lot then.

 As an ending scene, I just wanted her to visit Jimin in his office or something when classes are over and have a cute little talk about where their relationship is going (because it’s about to take off now that school is over) and then maybe Jimin would confess something that he didn’t tell Y/N in the beginning—I have this part written in my notebook, so I’ll just type it here:

 “I may have walked in that day after class, and Taehyung had your draft on the table…” Jimin says, trailing off.

(referring to that time Y/N fucked up and left Jimin’s name in her homework title)

“He promised not to tell!” you whined, covering your face with your hands.

“He didn’t tell,” Jimin cooed, gathering you up in his arms and pressing a small kiss to you nose as an apology. “I read it myself—then he told me.”

So yeah, I wanted Jimin to explain to her that he knew that she was interested, and so that’s why he was pretty forward with asking her to go walking with him and etc. I thought it would be fun and lighthearted and end the story on a good note :’)

 So that’s my spiel. I hope all of this made sense and makes some of my TA!Jimin fans happy! Thanks to everyone who supported this series, it means a lot!! <3 Also if you have ANY lingering questions, PLEASE! ask me!!!! Others might have them too, and I’d love to still talk about this because I do like this story a lot! 

Love you all,

Elle <3

[fanfic-collection]

Vampire: Loki x Reader - Pt 5

Tag list: catalinaacosta , starscreamloki , dream-reaper , hufflepuff-always-and-forever , portietomednalynn , all-these-wonderful-things , jayyx3oxo

Please comment, thank you, I appreciate hearing feedback from you guys! (I don’t like how this turned out but maybe if I reread it it won’t feel so bad... ok that’s my critique, if you have any thoughts let me know, I think you’ll see what bothers me)

In the morning, you woke, dressed in your newfound clothes and made your way down to the pantry and ultimately the kitchen. Thor was nowhere to be seen.

As before, the door to the basement was carefully locked and sealed. You tested the locks to be sure, not knowing what was down there and slightly fearful of it coming out. Part of you wondered when your caretaker duties would begin, where Thor's brother was located. A larger part of you already knew.

You shivered, looking at the sturdy door, so strained by whatever lived in the basement.

Moving on, you made your way to the pantry and assembled items for a small but satisfactory breakfast. It would be a nice change from the hospital cafeteria you had spent so much time at.

Living in this country as you had, your mother had often warned you of the dark magic that was said to circulate the soil. You wondered idly if that dark magic was finally entering into your life. Everything about the layout of the house promised as such, yet you still couldn't bring yourself to fully believe it. They had just been idle tales sprung by a bored housewife, yet your mother had not been the only one to warn you.

Many stories of people going missing in the night, creatures so pale with long teeth and clawlike fingers snatching children from their beds, the forests alive with beasts from ancient times, different rituals that one must follow – no matter how silly, everyone adhered to their strict guidelines. You thought of the forest in your home town, that no child entered alone, no grown man either. Visitors from outside lands laughed at the superstitions and the people of your village accepted the mockery, but even still, their ways did not change. Every third generation, or so, someone would ignore the warnings. They would enter the woods alone, cross the river that had been blessed and promises made to never touch, drink from the well that was considered sacred, something would be touched that should not, entered that should be left well alone, and they would go missing. Everyone would accept that they had left the country in the middle of the night, gone to new lands to start a new life fresh and alone. But it was known. In quiet corners of pubs, people would whisper, stories would be shared and sightings confirmed. That person was dead or worse and so the fear continued.

There were certain buildings, abandoned for centuries that you best not enter, and though you weren't certain if this was one, you felt by the renovations that something evil had been disturbed.

“Good morning.” Thor said, wiping his eyes from bleary sleep.

You startled from your thoughts, dropping your silverware with a jump before forcing a smile. “Morning.” You managed to reply evenly.

Thor sighed heavily and sank into the seat opposite you, he seemed to have slept terribly. You opted to ask him.

Nodding, Thor replied, “Not a wink. There's so much to tend to with this place and anyone that helps has to be flown in from other places, almost no local agrees to help no matter the price.”

You glanced at him wryly, thinking of your own price. “They're clearly not desperate enough. I'm sure if a harvest goes bad or a family member falls ill, they'll come around.”

“Sorry.” Thor muttered, standing up and finding his own breakfast.

You shrugged, “I was desperate, still am. Though I wonder what happens if I become less desperate.”

“If you stop valuing your sister's life?” Thor interjected.

You grit your teeth and turned your head slightly, the insult stinging. “Something like that.”

“Let's see how my brother takes to you first. Perhaps he won't like you and you'll leave.”

You raised an eyebrow at him. There had been no signs of other people before you. “What's wrong with him?”

Thor shifted uncomfortably, “He's ill.”

“You have money, why not take him to one of those hospital my sister was sent to?”

“Not that type of illness.” Thor mumbled, shirking away from you as he busied himself with the food.

“Uh-huh.” You nodded slowly, “An illness no doctor can treat? You know, even in this small country, we're aware of such conditions. They're different people but there's treatment of sorts, usually talking helps. Locking them away from the outside world does no good.”

Thor grit his teeth and glared at you, “This one is different.”

Again, you nodded slowly, “So what is it?”

“I'll show you tonight, for now, eat up and get some rest, it's going to be a long night.” Thor stalked out of the room, plate of food in hand.

You watched him go, seeing him pass the basement and absently check the locks before disappearing down the hallway.

Your mother's stories echoed loudly in the back of your mind.

-

-

For the rest of the day, you grazed on food as you felt hungry, or bored. You took naps and read in the library. There was an expansive collection, centuries of books and some in runes that you couldn't hope to decipher. You wandered the building, looking in old dust covered rooms with chairs covered in moth-eaten sheets. There was a laboratory of sorts and several studies. Dusty notes and chemistry supplies covering table after table. Truly a mad scientist could have lived here.

There was a television in your room, you found eventually, as well as a video player. You wondered if there might be any movies that you could watch but failed to find any. Perhaps you would ask Thor later, make a list of things that could entertain you if this was how your days were to be spent. Though, if your work were to mostly take place at night, perhaps your night and days would shift.

As you skulked through the many hallways, occasionally passing by the basement door – checking its locks absently – you wondered if there might be a way to get exercise equipment. If there were traditional caretaker activities, you wanted to be in peak physical shape. A treadmill wouldn't be too bad, in case you ever found opportunity to...

You pushed the thought away. Being able to run any distance would be an advantage, especially if the thing in the basement...

Again you pushed the thought away. Stagnation was bad. You left it at that.

-

-

In the evening, as the sun dipped past the horizon, you found yourself sitting on your bed, fully dressed. Your leg was crossed over the other as you sat propped up by several pillows, reading an old romance novel.

A knocking sounded at your door.

“Come in.” You called.

The door opened and Thor appeared. “It's time.”

-

Thor led you down the halls, across the house and to the basement door.

“We're going in?” You asked as he began the tedious task of undoing each lock.

“I said not to go alone.” Thor said over his shoulder, offering you a quick smile.

“Great, and the thing that did that damage?” You inclined your head towards the strained hinges.

Thor smiled but remained quiet, pulling the chains away and swing the door open. “Shall we?” He grabbed the briefcase and the lantern, slowly descending down the stairs.

You exhaled heavily, then started to follow him.

The air was musty and chilly, much cooler than the rest of the building. The gloom easily overwhelmed the light of the lantern, the small flame valiantly fighting back but failing miserably.

“Stay near the light.” Thor muttered. For a moment he reconsidered and handed the lantern over to you. “Follow me closely.”

You stayed near Thor, nearly hugging his shoulder, brushing against him as you followed after him, holding the light out. Reaching the bottom of the stairs, you looked down and saw fresh dirt mixed over the flagstones of the ground, as though parts of the basement had been freshly dug and other parts had existed long ago.

Thor continued on into the gloom, taking out a small lighter and lighting sconces as the two of you walked. The sconces struggled to life, casting your bodies onto long dark shadows that flickered and danced as the two of you walked.

“Loki!” Thor called, though his voice seemed to get swallowed by the darkness.

You glanced back over your shoulder and saw a trail of lights leading to the stairs. Then you looked back at Thor and saw that you were nearing an alcove of sorts.

There was a large green bed, looking sinfully soft. It was decadent and fancier than any you had seen, yet there was a fine layer of dust on it, as though it had not been used in a long time. Perhaps you would have to clean it. What a peculiar place inside such a heavily guarded basement.

Near the bed, there was a makeshift bathroom with no walls, merely a bath and a sink. No toilet you noted curiously.

Thor gently grabbed your wrist, if you had not seen him move, you would have jumped out of your skin. He angled the lantern light onto an ornate velvet lined coffin. A set of chains were fastened securely to the wall beside it. As you looked closer, you realized they disappeared into the dark parts of the basement that Thor had not lit up.

“I know you're there, Loki.” Thor called, his foot kicking the chains.

“You have him chained up?” You whispered horrified.

Thor looked at you pained, “You'll understand.”

You shook your head, “This isn't a beast we're talking about, some vicious animal that will attack without reason, this is your brother!” Your voice rose in pitch as you admonished him.

Cold laughter came from the shadows and immediately you regretted raising your voice. The hair on the back of your neck stood on end, goosebumps forming on your skin and you spun around, trying to find the source of the laughter.

“Like father all over again, new toys to keep me company.” A cold voice from nowhere and everywhere taunted.

“Loki...” There was heavy warning to Thor's voice. “I fed you yesterday, usually you do better the next day, what's wrong?”

“What's wrong, what's wrong?” The cold voice, who you assumed was Loki, taunted. “Bring new eyes to study the chained beast?”

“Loki, remember yourself!”

The chains rattled and hissed and then slowly a man came into view. He was tall and gaunt, eyes sunken, mostly green but tinges of red played on the irises.

The man was beautiful, you noted, your heart skipping a beat as you took in his appearance. Or rather once was... could be? It was confusing. He seemed to have neglected himself, something dried and red stained his mouth – juice you hoped – as well as his battered and torn shirt. You saw signs of fresh cuts and scars on his skin, as well as older long healed ones. His hair hang in curtains, unkempt and unwashed, needing a trim though it appealed to you at its current length, past his shoulders. Though there was a redness on the colored parts of his eyes – another disconcerting aspect of his appearance – the green entranced you; however they were dull and had lost any sheen they once held. The man held the appearance of someone who had lost weight quickly and in an unfortunate way, his clothes illfitting and hanging loosely on his frame.

Then your eyes trailed to his hands, clenched tightly but held in front of him by the heavy manacles inscribed with strange markings your mind couldn't decipher.

The man, Loki you presumed, tilted his head at you and smiled coldly – it didn't reach his eyes. “Do I frighten you, little lamb?” You saw the fangs protruding over his lower lip and stepped back involuntarily.

At first you were speechless, struggling to respond. The stories your mother had warned you of, of course you had accepted and believed them, but only in theory, to actually see a creature like this before you? “You're not real.” You whispered.

“Oh I can assure you, I am very real.” Loki replied, stepping forward menacingly. “And why are you here?”

Of all the answers that flitted through your mind, you don't know why you chose, “My sister.”

Loki squinted at you, taken aback, physically recoiling at your words. “Your what?” He hissed.

You bit your lip. “Her name is Marcy, she's ill. Thor, your brother, promised me her health if I stayed with you as your caretaker.” Tears welled in your eyes, you didn't know how you could care for this creature, a being of darkness and evil. Your hands shook, the lantern swaying dangerously. You closed your eyes and shook your head, tears rolling down your cheeks as sobs wracked your body. All of what you had been through, the fear of losing your sister, the years of pain at her illness, then the hope of this strange man offering you what you so desperately needed and desired, only to end like this. “I'm sorry.” you sobbed.

Loki stepped towards you, cuffed hands held out. Thor moved protectively in front of you, eyeing Loki distrustfully.

Loki glared at Thor as you tried to see through the tears in your eyes. “You risk sacrificing your life for your sister?” Loki murmured, head tilted.

“You would hurt me?” You asked.

Loki looked away, “I don't know what I would do. I'm... I'm not myself. Perhaps I am more myself than ever.”

“Loki...” Thor said slowly, “if this is about that Jotun thing.”

Loki hissed suddenly, eyes flashing red and lunged at Thor. You jumped to the side as the two brothers fell in a heap, tackling and grabbing at the other. Loki hissed and growled, snarling as he tried to claw at Thor, his teeth gnashing as he lunged at any available part of Thor.

Lightning crackled in Thor's hands, his eyes going bright blue, and his fist slammed into Loki, making contact with his chest. Loki was thrown back, flying across the room and hitting one of the pillars with a solid thud. His head smacked against the pillar and he lay still, head lolling to the side.

At first you had taken off running but seeing the brothers fight, something in you hesitated.

Thor winced, rolling over onto his side and slowly sitting up, fresh claw marks on his arms.

You looked between him and Loki, barely illuminated in the gloom, then made a split second decision and dashed over to the fallen man. “Are you alright?” You knelt down beside him.

Thor called your name, “Wait, no! I can't protect you from here!”

Loki's eyes slowly opened as he looked up at you. He seemed dazed.

You reached your hand out and touched his cheek. Loki flinched at the contact, stiffening as your hand stroked his face. “Are you alright?”

Loki blinked up at you, struggling where he sat, muscles clenching and unclenching as he stared at you. Finally his head sank into your touch and his eyes fluttered shut and he lay unmoving.

“I think you really hurt him.” You mumbled over your shoulder.

Thor slowly walked over, hands out warily. He looked down at Loki and moved to check his pulse, sighing before his hand reached Loki's neck and pulling away. “I don't know how to tell, I'm still new to this.”

“Put him on the bed.” You ordered Thor.

“He prefers the coffin.” Thor muttered, “he sleeps in it during the day, I've seen it.”

“Well I can't look at him if he's in such a cramped place.”

Thor hoisted Loki up on his shoulder and carried him over to the bed, dropping him as gently as he could. A puff of dust rose in the air and you waved it away from your face, hoping to avoid sneezing.

Loki groaned, rolling on his back, his hands held tightly to his chest.

“These wounds are going to fester if you don't tend to them.” You pointed at the cuts.

“Do... do vampire wounds fester? What bacteria would feast on the dead like this?”

You bit your lip and looked at the raw skin under the manacles. “These conditions can't be healthy for him.”

“They're not healthy for me!” Thor snapped back, pointing at the myriad of scars and cuts on him. “This is to keep him from running out of here and going after the nearest village.”

You raised an eyebrow.

Thor looked away sheepishly, “That's what Analise said.”

“Analise?”

“The... the one who turned him.”

“You asked for him to be like this?” Your voice went shrill.

Thor shifted uncomfortably, “He had died.”

“You robbed him of a peaceful death, for what?”

Thor swallowed hard and looked away, “For me.”

You shook your head in disbelief looking back at Loki curled up on the bed. Your face softened, heart panging as you looked at him curled up in pain. “I don't know the anatomy of a vampire. Do they heal by normal means?”

Thor bit his lip. “I hadn't thought to ask, I didn't expect him to injure himself.”

“These are self inflicted?” Your horror grew. “Does he realize what you made him?”

“I think so.”

“Oh you poor thing,” you stroked his cheek with the back of your hand. His body seemed to unclench ever so slightly. “He looks kinda like Marcy on her sickest days. Body starving itself, barely a corpse, clearly not right in the mind. It's no wonder he attacked you.”

“You're saying I deserved that?” Thor looked at you indignant.

“You must've upset him!”

Thor opened his mouth to respond but instead snapped his mouth shut, angrily glaring at you.

“Perhaps this Analise has more information on... well vampires, how long since he turned?”

“A few months, she said such violent outbursts were not uncommon for fledglings.”

You absently brushed your fingers through his hair, trying to ignore the many knots. Pursing your lips, you looked at Thor, “I've heard stories that vampires regain their strength through blood.” The concept of doing so willingly had never crossed your mind before, more so a warning to prevent vampires from drinking blood.

“Would that work?” Thor frowned, “would we want him to regain his strength?”

“I don't know, he's your brother, if you did this to him on purpose, wouldn't you want him healthy?”

“Healthy, yes, attacking me, not so much.”

“Caring for a vampire.” You sat on the bed, still toying with his hair. Shaking your head you looked up at Thor, “I think we're going to have to collect any information on vampires we can find, including this Analise. Maybe there are better ways of dealing with a fledgling than locking it in your basement and chaining him up.”

Thor rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, “I was trying my best.”

You shook your head tiredly, “This is what you're paying me for I guess.” Biting your lip you pulled your hand away from Loki and set both of your hands in your lap. You looked back at Thor, “Did you mean to have him drink from me?”

“Yes.” Thor looked at the ground. “But only enough to sustain him, not to kill you, I meant for you to be his caretaker. I was hoping he might bond with someone in ways he had not with me.”

“Am I the first?” You feared the answer.

“I was quicker to introduce Loki to the others, and he didn't have another food source outside them.” Thor swallowed hard, “my sins are many, I know this, but I do not wish ill to you, and even if something should happen...” He trailed off.

You looked back at Loki then up at Thor, “This is for my sister. I know the terms that you won't let me leave.”

“No.”

“Then I'll do everything I can to help him,” you licked your lips, glancing back at Loki then up at Thor, “I think it's best we let him rest, get more blood hopefully in sanitary conditions and I'll see if that library has any lore on vampires. Then we can work on helping him. I can't believe I'm saying this but I'm going to help a vampire, as long as you heal my sister and I'm not allowed to leave, those are my terms.”

“Thank you, kind lady.” Thor bowed low. Loki wasn't moving and Thor winced glancing down at him, “Let's return upstairs, it should be nearing morning and he does not handle the day well.”

“This is handling things well?”

Thor chuckled, “I learned that fast.”

[thosemultifandomwritings]

Ink Pt. 2 (Peter Parker x Reader)

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Word Count: 1.7K

Summary: Soulmate AU where everything you write or draw on your skin appears on your soulmate too

Part 1  ...  Part 2  ...  Part 3 

Good luck on your chem test today!

You smiled down at your wrist, grabbing your bag before heading out the door. Walking down the many stairs of your apartment, you gripped a felt pen in your hand, cap gripped in between your teeth, careful not to loose it. Over the last few weeks, you had experimented with a lot of pens, and if you didn’t have a marker, felt tipped pens were the next best thing. It was soft enough on your skin and pretty easy to wash off. Honestly, you had gone through many pens these past few weeks.

Thanks P. Try not to write any equations on me this time, wouldn’t want to get caught cheating(:

Peter leaving his apartment in Queens couldn’t help the breathy laugh that escaped his mouth as he read the words appearing on his arm. He basically tripped over his own foot as he began his walk to the subway, pulling out one of the many pens that sat in his pocket.

It was one time!

The relationship between the two of you had flourished quickly in the past few weeks. Even with the little time you had known him, you had found yourself developing a cliché high school crush on a guy you had never even met.

You had learned his name was Peter and he was from Queens, which made you absolutely giddy inside. You yourself lived in Manhattan and knowing your soulmate lived so close brought you instant joy. People always said fate brought soulmates together, but you could have never pictured fate placing your soulmate a mere bus ride away.

You were having an amazing time getting to know Peter, but there was always a nagging voice in the back of your head to keep your guard up. Of course, having a soulmate was an absolute blessing. But soulmates are only human after all. You had heard countless stories of people who had developed a connection with their soulmate, only to have them ripped away from them by death and other horrible travesties. The soulmate bond is such a strong feeling, that many soulmates of those who had perished end up spiraling. You didn’t like to think these horrible things, but even from the little time you had known Peter, you couldn’t imagine not having him.

Despite this, you still caught yourself reaching for a pen anytime something amazing happened, or on the other hand, if something bad happened. You itched to tell Peter about almost every aspect of your day. It was as if there were a magnet between your hand and a pen, and you constantly found yourself trying to hold back from making a fool out of yourself before you had even gotten the chance to meet him.

Peter on the other end, was doing no better than you. He would constantly check his arm to make sure he didn’t miss a note from you. He had even equipped his Spidey suit to have room for a few ballpoint pens in case he found himself on the top of a building late one night and felt his arm tingle. On his late night Spider Man adventures, he would find himself in Manhattan more often than not. Sometimes he would picture one of the giant skyscrapers he would swing by would be your apartment, you sleeping away as he worked to keep the city safe.

The two of you up until this point had never discussed meeting up, but as the weeks went by, Peter felt an urge to meet you. An urge to see what you looked like. To meet the person he was destined to be with.

But he was also worried. He hadn’t told you anything about Spider-Man. I mean, what we he supposed to say? “Hey and by the way, you know Spider-Man? The red and blue spandex wearing crime fighter who can sling webs from his wrists? That’s me! You can look me up on YouTube!” Not only was that way too much to write on his arm, but he would sound like an absolute crazy person. Peter was already nervous enough talking to you, let alone telling you all about his alter ego. As Spider-Man became more of a household name, more and more enemies were coming out of the woodworks. Everyone knew about soulmates, and if one of the many villains that littered the streets were to find out the Spider-Man had an ultimate weakness? There’s no telling what could happen to you. What could happen to you all because of him. Peter refused to get you in the middle of his Spider business.

It was as if the two of you together shared an unspoken agreement that for now, you two would remain apart.

It was another few days later when Peter found himself at Avengers Tower. He had fallen asleep on the couch in one of the many lounges after a very long meeting with members of the group. Having so many strong personalities in one room was always mentally exhausting, especially if they happened to slightly disagree on something. This time, Steve had suggested an alternate plan to one they had already discussed, many members disagreeing with him and frankly wanting to be done with the meeting all together. Peter had taken Steve’s side in the argument, shocking some of the other members seeing as he usually kept pretty quiet and agreed with whatever Tony said. In short, Peter had really needed a nap.

As Peter’s eyes were closed, he felt a slight shiver run up his arm, causing him to stir from his sleep. As Peter’s eyes blinked open, adjusting to the light, the first thing he did was look down at his left arm.

Hey P...why is there a red white and blue star on my forehead...

It took him a few seconds to really process what you had written, but when he did, he jolted off the couch, tripping over a blanket someone must have put on him while he was sleeping. He ran to the first reflective surface he could find, which happened to be one of the any gigantic windows that littered the walls, and looked at his reflection. Smack right in the middle of his forehead sat a very crudely drawn star covered in a red, white and blue American flag.

Peter groaned, reaching into his pockets to find a pen to write back to you. Forgetting he had changed earlier, he silently cursed to himself as he came up empty handed. He jogged to the nearest place he knew a pen would be, which happened to be Tony’s lab.

“Mr. Stark I really need a pen!” He exclaimed, bursting through the door and immediately scanning the room.

“Whoa kid, where’s the fire?” Tony asked, looking up from some piece of metal, “And what in the actual hell is on your forehead?”

“Thor and Mr. Barton think they are so funny,” Peter grumbled, his eyes never leaving the many drawers he was currently scrambling through. Clint, who had been snickering with Thor upon seeing Peter’s appearance, quickly stopped as he heard Peter.

“Hey kid, you have no proof it was us,” he said shrugging while trying to keep a straight face, pretending to get back to work on one of his bows.

“Thor?” Tony asked, as if Thor were a small child whose parents already knew they were guilty.

“It was I and my good friend Clint,” Thor laughed deeply, grabbing Clint around the shoulders as Clint groaned. Peter, disconnected from the conversation at hand, had finally found a pen. Gripping it rather tightly in his hand, he lifted his shirtsleeve to scribble back to you.

I’m so sorry! My friends think that are funny. Hope it didn’t inconvenience you too much.

Finally exhaling, Peter tuned back into the conversation to hear Clint explaining rather loudly to Thor on the meaning of a secret. Pen still in hand, he stared at his arm waiting for your response. He found himself waking out of the lab towards the bathroom to clean his face, knocking into a few walls on the way as his eyes kept flickering back to his arm.

Just stayed in my room to avoid questions. Kinda dig the patriotic look. Your friends seem ready for war :P

Peter finally relaxed at knowing you weren’t annoyed and began to scrub his forehead with soap to rid himself, and you, from the rather bad drawing.

Some of them were in one, a while ago though

Peter had written it before he really thought about it, wanting to write it before the soap got in his eyes. In the middle of scrubbing, he realized what he had actually written and immediately began to scrub his arm. Maybe he could get it off before you saw it. Water now trickling down his face, he had most of the words off his arm, but it was too late.

A while ago? P...please tell me you aren’t an old man

Scrambling for the pen once again, it slipped from his wet fingers onto the ground. He practically pounced on it, writing in all caps back to you.

NO!

Your response came mere seconds later as Peter now sat down on the cold tile of the bathroom floor, rubbing his eyes vigorously as soap had now gotten in them. His eyes teared up as his eyes stung, blinking rapidly in order to be able to focus them on your words.

Calm down P, I can basically hear your heartbeat from Manhattan. I’m just joking

Ignoring the fact that he was also currently in Manhattan when you assumed he was home in Queens, he let out a loud breath. His cheeks turned a deep pink as he reread your message, his eyes lingered on the end. At the very end of the sentence, you had drawn a tiny heart.

He felt his own heart beat faster in his chest as his eyes stayed glued to the shape. After a few seconds, he physically shook his head to snap himself out of it. I mean, you clearly didn’t mean anything by it. At least that’s what Peter told himself to make the blood stop rushing to his cheeks.

His head tipped back to lean on the cool tile that surrounded the bathroom walls, his bloodshot eyes staring up at the ceiling. It would be an understatement to say that Peter was completely shocked at the effect you could have on him with one little shape. If this is how he reacted when he read a message from you, what the hell would he do if he were to ever meet you?

A/N: Next chapter will be a lil drama so buckle in guys and gals ;)

If you would like to be added to the taglist for the series, just let me know (Sorry if anyone got double notifications, first time uploading this there was a problem <3)

As always, requests and comments can be sent here .xx

Taglist 

@abswritesfandoms , @blackcat-midnight-thatsme , @axielle-suson , @justmilla , @noodleboylester , @squirrellover1967 , @sockywell , @iris-suoh , @tom-holland-imagines-are-us , @issyogirllexie , @embrace-themagic , @monster-alien-chode , @parker-underoos , @sergeantrosabellaswan

[goldn-curls]

my last night in Inverness - pt 1

I'm at Johny Foxes, alone. Ordered a pint of lager a few minutes ago, ‘cause “ale is piss water”. “I’m from Belgium, I like our kind of beer better.” is what I keep explaining to these Scottish men when they look absolutely flabbergasted when I share. Can you believe they don’t like foam on their beer? I mean, it’s how it’s supposed to be served but okay. Upon walking in, I spotted a table that was close enough to the bar and tucked away in a back corner enough for me to dissapear. Perfect, I won’t have to go far to order another. And with a decent view of the dance floor — I like observing people. Johny Foxes is a pretty big establishment, at least to my standards. There’s this big U-shaped bar in the middle of the room. Seats on all sides. Wood covers everything. From the floor up to the ceiling, looks like the bar has been around for quite a while. I could’ve looked that up but didn’t bother. No cellphone tonight, no internet, just real life. The lights are low, music’s playing low. All there’s missing is smoke clouds. I could stay here forever, is what kept going through my mind. As I went to sit down, I took out my notepad and the book I was currently reading: R. D. Laing, Facts of Life. (Crazy shit in there, you should read it.) I need to have something to do. To keep me from overthinking my life and myself. Also, I don’t want to feel the need to talk. That’s for later, when I’m drunk enough.

The only people in here, are still having dinner. One table on my righthand side, women in their thirties. They look like colleagues. Got a weird glance from them. Straight ahead of me, a couple of metres, is a couple giggling over their leftovers from dinner. They didn’t notice me, only had eyes for each other. I miss love, I think to myself. 

The waiting staff is friendly. Whenever I order a drink - anywhere in Scotland - I always get asked how I’m doing today. Sometimes followed with love, dear, sweetheart. Some women might hate that, in our feminist society. But I don’t, I really like it when people ask me how I’m doing. And I still find it charming when a friendly old fellow calls me sweetheart. Something about nostalgia in those words, they were used in the good old days. There’s a familiar face behind the bar — I was here two days ago when I met Sean. That bartender was working too that night and I snapped two photos of him, I recall. You can’t really see his face. I don’t know his name, I only know how he looks. Blonde hair, shaven at the sides, into a fade and longer at the top. Nicely styled, combed to the back, like every guy in 2020. Handsome face, nothing special. He has a tattoo of a pocket watch on his left underarm. So basic. Not very tall, not short either. Strong hands. I think he works out, ‘cause he has clear veins on his arms. Looks muscular, especially his chest. His t-shirt’s just a little too tight. He definitely works out. He’s not my type, apart from the fact he’s wearing black Vans. Nonetheless, he makes me feel at ease. Probably because he didn’t give me that “wtf is she doing here by herself”-look. 

I’m singing along to the rock music softly coming through the speakers. I feel perfectly fine, sitting at my table alone. Down in Mexico starts playing and I’m vibing to it. I add it to my playlist on Spotify. How did I not think of this before? I’m snapping my fingers to the beat. Humming to the song. Occasional soft singing whenever I know the words. I close my eyes, do this thing I do with my shoulders and imagine I’m sitting in a rusty bar somewhere in America. Suddenly, I notice I’m not the only one who's vibing. That blonde bartender passes my table quite a lot. He’s singing and dancing, grooving. Timid, but still obvious enough for me to notice. I’m turning this into a game in my head. What songs do we both know? All of them. We sing and dance along to every rock song. I want to talk to him, make him notice I like him.

All of a sudden, there’s a shot of sheer happiness. Tutti Frutti’s playing now. I smile from ear to ear. My singing and dancing get just a little bit more intense, I don’t care who hears or sees. I like this feeling. I write in my notebook: 

“Tutti Frutti playing - reminds me of Celina. She was my friend during my first few days in Inverness. That’s her happy song. It’ll forever make me smile :-)”

What you need to know about Celina, is that she’s 19, travelling alone through Scotland and she lost her parents, both, in a span of 5 months. I’m feeling very content with myself, listening to my friend’s happy song. Reminiscing over our moments together, our shared sadness. Finally found someone who’s like me. 

Now, the universe moves in mysterious ways and on this night, for a short moment — 6 minutes and 33 seconds to be exact — magic happened. Tutti Frutti fades out. I sigh, this was so nice. The next song starts playing. I recognise it in a split-second. Goosebumps running along the top of my head. Shit’s about to get emotional. I throw myself over my notebook and quickly add:

“& immediately after that, Hallelujah started playing. Hi mom, glad you’re here with me” - little sketch of a heart added -

This is the first time in five years I feel her presence. Like, really, FEEL. You wouldn’t understand if you’ve never lost a parent at the age of 18 while you’re a “non-believer”. No religion to give me hope that she’s still around. Tears start to swell up. I don’t want to do this here. Not in public. I hate crying in public. But I also can’t storm off to the toilet, there’s no one to watch my stuff and my camera’s in my bag. Fuck it. I let one tear stream down my face. I can feel it roll over my cheek down to my chin. Until it falls and drops on the table. Good, now we can move on again. I’ve learnt to contain sadness in small moments. Just a little crying sesh and after that, we’re fine.

The bartender starts to clear all the tables, taking away the menu cards and flowers. It’s almost 9.30pm, karaoke is about to start. He leaves my table for last. My stomach turns. Did he see me break down? Fuck, he’s coming my way.

“Let me just.. uhm.. I’ll take this away for ya.” nervous smile "Thank you.” I nervously smile back

I wanted to say more but couldn’t. There’s still a huge lump in my throat and talking too much would just make me pour my eyes out. Can’t do that.

I decide to resume our sing-a-long competition. That’ll make me happy again. The bar’s still pretty deserted, so nothing else to do and this guy has my full attention. He’s proven to be the perfect distraction — I’m pretending to read more than anything. I catch myself staring at the same page. Rereading the same words over and over. He keeps on passing my table, singing, dancing. I follow his lead.

Is he playing along? Could he be curious about how many songs we both know the words to, like me? I keep on looking up from my book or notes every time he glides by, which he sometimes literally does. At one point, I think I looked up too eager. He noticed and turned around to smile. I’ve fallen in love. Hard.

[floatingpetals]

Vanish in the Dark Pt 1

Pairings: None at the moment(A.K.A I have no idea where I’m going with this.)

Warnings: None right now, maybe language?

Word Count: 2600+

Summary: Assassin’s Creed AU and Marvel AU crossover.  The Brotherhood has spent years hiding in the shadows keeping the Templars in line as the years pass on. When the Templars company Abstergo Industries strikes up a deal with Hydra, things have to change. The Brotherhood decides to step out of the shadows, reaching out for the help of the Avengers. What could go wrong?

A/N: So far I have the first four parts written, but after that I dunno where I’m gonna go. All I know is this is gonna be a long one, and while I’m writing as I go, I’m really excited. I’ve started a tag list, so let me know if you’d like to added and I’ll be more than happy too add you! Also liking and rebblogging also helps me know if i should keep going. Thank you guys!  ❤️

Once again, the gif is not mine, credit to the owner.

Prologue | Part One | Part Two | Series Masterlist

Steve sighed into his bowl of oatmeal, watching Bucky and Sam bicker once again over who gets the last of the Lucky Charms. Natasha sat beside him, munching on an apple, throwing in a few quips herself which only cause the two start back up again. Clint had walked in, took one look at the two that stood at the center of the room gripping the box in each hand, and walked right back out. Steve was starting to think he had the right idea. 

“Could you stop egging them on?” He huffed at Natasha, who added another reason why Bucky should get the last bowl. Natasha only replied with a smirk as she took another bite from her apple. Steve rolled his eyes, knowing that she would only stop when she got bored. And from the look on her face, it wasn’t going to be a while before that happened. With the mounting tension, he thought he’d have to jump in and stop the two from having a smack down in the center of the kitchen. Just as he was about to tell them about the second box that was hiding on the top shelf in the pantry, a bellow from down the hall caused all four to stop and look in the direction.

Tony came sprinting into the kitchen, a piece of paper in hand, and looking unbelievably irate. He slammed the paper down on the island, causing the four to jump. They’ve seen him mad before, but this was a whole new level they never knew he had.

“Anyone want to tell me what the fuck this is?” He snarled, pointing at the paper. All four blinked, none knowing how to answer that question when they hadn’t the slightest clue why he was so angry. Natasha was the first to move, picking up the paper to read the words carefully. A scowl spread across her face as she read the words, unsettled from the amount of information that was typed on the paper. She turned the page over, eyeing the strange triangular symbol on the back of the white page. It didn’t spark a recognition in her mind, but the words spoke of how well the messenger knew them.

“Where did you get this?” She asked passing the paper over to Steve. Tony’s jaw clench as he tried to calm down enough to form a coherent sentence.

“It was in my lab, sitting on top my latest project. Along with a list of reasons why that prototype was not going to work and what I could do to fix it.” Tony scoffed. He was a bit bitter that someone managed to break into his lab, but was even more peeved that person had the audacity to leave a list of his failures he wasn’t even aware were there. “I checked all the tapes, there wasn’t a sign of someone breaking in the compound last night, not even a blip.”

“How is that possible?” Natasha asked leaning against the island. Steve stayed silent, rereading the words as he tried to wrap his mind around the content. If what this was saying was true then things were a lot worse than they thought.

“I don’t know, Romanoff.” Tony snarled, running a hand through his hair. “F.R.I.D.A.Y. already told that nothing out of the ordinary happened, that nothing was shut down. Yet somehow, someone broke into my lab, had time to tinker around with a prototype, and write a hand written 2 page essay on what was wrong before leaving, all while being capable of not setting off a single alarm!”

“Hey!” Steve boomed, switching into his Captain’s command voice. “Look, I get how upsetting this is, but don’t take this out on Natasha!”

Tony turned around, mouth open ready to argue. He stopped short at the withering glare Steve gave him, rolling his eyes at the blonde.

“Fine. Whatever.” He waved them off, snatching the paper out of Steve’s hand. “This is still a problem, however. Someone broke in last night. Someone knows things about us that have never been released to the public. Someone-“

“Knows of the deal between Hydra and that Abstergo company.” Steve finished. He was becoming just as unnerved about the whole thing as well. Bucky and Sam tensed, their eyes flickering to the pages. Tony passed the paper over, hardly sparing them a glance as he continued.

“They want us to meet them tomorrow afternoon. In New York. The only thing I can think of that’s going on that day is the press conference in Manhattan.” Tony was talking about the press conference that the famed company Abstergo Industries was having to speak about the advances they were going to take in the company. Their partnership with Hydra was not public knowledge, but they had heard it through the grape vine that something was happening between the two groups. The Avengers looked in on the company, wondering why Hydra took interest in them. What they found had appalled the group. They learned about some of the experiments that Abstergo took part of, and with this partnership with Hydra, they knew they’d have to do something. This request for a meeting was not something they expected however.

“Is that a good idea? I mean we have no idea who these people are.” Natasha questioned.

“I’m having F.R.I.D.A.Y. run a search for that symbol, clearly it means something. But if what they say is true, and what they know is right, then we might not have a choice.” Tony bit out. He wasn’t happy about how everything went down. However, he knew there was more important things than his bruised ego right now. Well only slightly more important. “I’m also going to up security. I can’t believe someone could sneak in.”

Steve sighed, pushing his unfinished bowl of oatmeal away. “Look, right now we need to worry about what the note said. If it’s true, then we’re going to have a lot more problems on our hands.”

Natasha nodded. “If they’re able to teach someone to become a trained killer in just days by a machine, I can only imagine what they’d do with Hydra’s less than legal experiments. Throw in the serum, they’d be unstoppable.”

Bucky tensed at that, flashes of his past coming up. He shuttered to think what could happen if this all went how the two groups wanted it to go. He passed the page to Sam and stepped up.

“I think we should go meet them.” Three sets of eyes turned to him. “The note said that if we refused, then it was fine. They don’t want anything besides stopping two groups from growing stronger than before. It’s clear they have no ulterior motive. They just want to stop them. And I agree. Hydra is already a problem, throw in the limited things we’ve learned of Abstergo and I’m sorry. I can’t let another one of me come into this world.”

Steve and Tony stayed silent for a moment. Neither wanted to agree to this, but Bucky had a point. They needed to stop this before it started. And if this other group was the key, then so be it.

“Sir.” F.R.I.D.A.Y. called, pulling their attentions away from each other.

“What’s up F.R.I.D.A.Y.?”

“I’ve done the search like you’ve asked, and I’m afraid you wouldn’t like the answer I’ve come up with.”

“And what exactly is that?”

The AI paused for a moment, before flickering on the tablet laying on one of the counters. Tony picked it up and brought up the hologram.

“It would seem that there is no current information on the symbol. Instead I found only older information. It’s an old symbol that was used dating back before history could record it. There are hints of used back in the Roman era. Perhaps ever before then. You can find old remnants on buildings, ruins, streets, and even some hidden tunnel entrances. The main known locations are Italy, present day Istanbul and recently found, Egypt.

There have been of course, other findings across Europe, and parts of Asia. There was talk of the symbol even having reached here to North America. But the symbols were suddenly wiped from existence somewhere in the 19th century. Across all countries. The only reason we know of them are because of the ones that have been found are from recent excavations and a few codecs that can only be found in ancient libraries.”

“As much as I love having an impromptu history lesson, cut to the chase. What does the symbol stand for?” Tony asked, a bit annoyed at the lengthy build up.

“That’s just it, sir. The only small bit of information I can find of it, besides the recent locations is a name. They called themselves The Brotherhood.”

“The Brotherhood?” Natasha asked.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y.-“ Tony began, flipping through some of the images that showed the symbols on buildings. They were faint, a bit more intricate in design that the simple symbol on the paper, but he could tell what was there.

“I’ve already ran a search of the name. It came up empty. I had to tap into Abstergo Industries database to find out more, to see if they knew this symbol. I searched for what I could without tripping their sensors, which isn’t much. What I did find, however, is a bit appalling. It seems that Abstergo Industry is actually a front for an old order that too dates back to the beginning of history.”

Steve raised a brow; This was getting more interesting the longer the AI rambled on.

“They were once known as the Templar Order. An old group that wanted to control and use the people so that they might have order and ‘peace’ in the world. They wanted the world built in their specific image. They cared little for what happened to the common people, just as long as they, the Order, had control.”

“Sounds like another group we know of.” Bucky muttered, watching Tony flip through the files that flashed up on the screen. The AI continued.

“The Brotherhood was once their greatest foe, the group fighting back against the Templars. The Brotherhood stood for the freedom of the people.”

“What are you getting at F.R.I.D.A.Y?” Tony could tell the AI was hesitating from telling them the truth.

“The Brotherhood was also known by the Templars’ as the Assassin’s Order.” The group stood straighter as the word.  “They were a group of highly elite assassins that targeted the Order, to keep them from growing into power. They fought each other since practically the beginning of time, at one point the Brotherhood was nearly defeated. It was around the Revolution they grew in size once more but somewhere down the way-“

“The Brotherhood disappeared.”

“Yes, and that’s why I find- odd. How did they manage to fall off the face of the earth after centuries of fighting the Order? Why is it that now, they’ve stepped up? But more important, how have they managed to keep themselves hidden for so long, even after the number of successful assassinations?”

A screen popped up, faces with list of their information, the words deceased in big red letters across the face. There was a long list, over 40 from the first page with several dozen pages. The four in the kitchen stood wide eyed as they looked over the names of many dignitaries and higher ups. Natasha stepped up pointing at a member of Parliament.

“I though he died of a heart attack two years ago.”

“No, he was killed by poison. The Order, Abstergo Industries, were the ones who performed his autopsy. The reports were falsified for the public, but the Order kept his real cause of death hidden. If word got out, then there would be more panic then necessary. As it turns out, this member of the Order also had a hidden agenda the Order was not fond of. His death was not missed by them. It still did manage to hurt them. Apparently, they lost a quite a bit of their influence in Britain because of it.”

Natasha pointed to another, a senator who had been said to have died in a car crash two months ago.

“Slit throat that was covered up by the crash.” The AI went through a quick list of the ones that stood out the most to the group, and with each one the team was left even more amazed, and frankly, scared.

“How is this possible?” Steve whispered, frowning when he recognized two of the Senators. They pressed for the Accord, but were never linked to Hydra. This made it all seem even more terrifying knowing there was another group out there that was just as influential as Hydra.

“As I stated, I’m not certain. Abstergo Industries knows that Brotherhood is still out there, but somehow the Brotherhood work in the shadows. They’re off the grid. There have been no known sittings of the Brotherhood since before the 19th century. That is, until today.”

Sam whistled low, impressed. “They’ve managed to keep a low profile for so long, eliminating well-known figure heads, and managed to break into our compound without tripping one of the alarms.”

Tony turned to glared at him, but Sam only shrugged. “Think about it. If they’ve managed to do all this, unnoticed by any of us, then they must be damn good at their jobs.”

Steve grit his teeth, not like the truth to Sam’s words. They had to be damn good. He turned back to the hologram that had pulled up the information to the press conference that was scheduled for the next afternoon.

“What about this, what is that you can tell us about the two joining?”

“As you stated earlier, Abstergo Industries has a way to put people into the past, to learn from members of their Order. They can learn how to fight, how to kill, and how to lead by simply laying down in a machine for a few hours a day. They can learn to become masters of fighting in the matter of weeks. All with out sustaining injuries. Their members are willing and wouldn’t need to be wiped to have them do the dirty work of the company. Throw in everything that Hydra knows, and willing to bring to the table; The two would both be unstoppable. The only good thing that comes from this, is a kink in the system that Abstergo Industries still has yet to fix. They call it the bleeding effect.”

“The bleeding effect?” Tony asked, flipping through a few files that pulled his interest.

“They machine they use sends them through memories. If the subject spends too much time in the machine, their brain is unable to differentiate between what real and what was a memory. They’ve lost several members to the madness that it brings.”

“The only silver lining I guess.” Steve muttered.

“I suppose, however, the Brotherhood has made great strides in keeping the Order in line, even though they themselves have not been out in the open. I suggest you take them up on this offer.”

Tony snorted and shook his head.

“Sir.”

“I know, F.R.I.D.A.Y. You’re right. This is too important to ignore.” He turned to glare at the paper that sat on the island once more, the symbol of the Brotherhood facing up. It was taunting him, they managed to do the impossible. It was a blatant show of skill. And a tease that they’d never be as good as the Brotherhood. Tony was not one to back down from a challenge. Clenching his jaw, he nodded. With a swipe of his hand, he closed the hologram.

“Looks like we’re going to a press conference.”

Vanish in the Dark Tag List:

@buckybabybaby @ccehrler @the-echo-of-insanity @aya-fay

(OPEN-let me know if you’d like to be tagged)

[loveforsinnamonrolls]

how do i start this

I started thinking about committing suicide when I was in Grade 5. I was 11 years old. Being in the Philippines, kids turn out to be God-fearing, I would not do it (not even self harm) because I was afraid I was commiting a sin. But hey, if I was that religious why did I not have enough faith in God in the first place?

So I endured. For 6 years I endured. Not ever placing a blade on my skin intentionally.

It was September 21, 2017 when I finally snapped. I finally self harmed. Yey. It was for the pettiest reason even. I had just woken up from having fallen asleep from crying my eyes out because of a fucking pathetic reason.

The second time was November 6, 2017. It was a reasonable excuse. It’s too personal so I won’t bother. Mehehe.

A few weeks into the second semester of classes, I became class mayor. FFS. I had just gotten back from the CR and see my name on the board the the fucking class mayor. I know should have said, no. I should have objected. But I couldn’t. I fucking panicked. It was a new school. I was adjusting. I was taking baby steps in stepping out of my comfort zone, but life just fucks you up. And so I tried to play it cool. I got done with the day. The week passed by with anxiety building up inside me. During the weekends I was stress eating. I kept forgetting about my responsibilities. I was losing my mind. I was on the verge of messaging my class adviser to take the position away.

I should have done that.

⏩ to Christmas Party hahafucks. It was a total failure. I tried. I really did. But anxiety got the best of me. I failed everyone. When it was all over, I bought beer. I went home, drank it all, deactivated my facebook and personal twitter account. I ran away. Like I always do. I was a mess for a whole week. But staying away from the internet slightly helped. Slightly.

The third time I self harmed was December 23, 2017. Two days before Christmas. Earlier that day I was almost kicked out of our house. I had just turned 17 and have no real life experiences, why must I further my life when I could end it now? And so that night, other than self harm, I looked up ways of killing yourself. KJH just died a few days earlier and it was because of carbon monoxide poisoning. The site I visited said it would be a painless death. You just need a few coals/charcoals. Why not? But then I remember all the books I haven’t read. If I died then, I would never be able to reread TID and be with Will Herondale again.

“Books kept me from taking my own life. They made me feel like perhaps I wasn’t completely alone.” - William Herondale

And so I held on. For all the books I haven’t read and the people who share the same love for books as I had.

But using inanimate objects and fictional characters as your will to live isn’t enough, life wants more. Life forces the happiness out of you demanding more than what you could ever give.

One of my New Year’s resolution was “Self love and appreciation” less self harm, was what I ought to add.

The first week of January was anxiety filled. The Academic Fair was coming closer and I haven’t gathered enough confidence to approach my fellow class mayors. A part of me was hoping they’d be the one to initiate. I asked for help. But being the bitch I am, that help was not enough for me. I still was’t able to do anything. The Academic Fair took up most of my mind space all while my physical self was unable to do anything. I knew how ought to approach them. I knew what I ought to say. Those conversations and scenarios have been replaying over and over and over and over again in my mind. I just hoped they’d be real but welp. I was fucking paralyzed by anxiety. I loathed myself for that. Why am I like this? I wasn’t like this before. I knew I wasn’t because I used to “”“”“"lead”“”“”“ and ”“”“”“"organized”“”“”“” events just the school yeat before. But that was my old school. Where I went to school with people I spent most of my school life with and who were practically my siblings. This was a new setting. And I been pushed out of my comfort zone too hard, too early, and too fast. Maybe that was why?

January 7, 2018. We suddenly had a general cleaning session. Where the rest of my self worth went down the drain. Words only get through when they’re sharp. And boy did they get through mumsh. Then I saw our old grill, with some coal still left on it. I gathered the coal. Left it aside. I’d get back to it, eventually. I was lifeless the whole day. But I didn’t self harm. They’d notice too easily. I was convince I’d to it that day. I was writing and rewriting the suicide note I’d leave and everything. I convinced myself this was is the best way. I would be able to run away from my impending failure. I would get rid of all the burden and pain the world and life has given me. The best scenario would me dying. The worst is failing and probably being sent to the hospital which is not that bad.

But Axelle DM-ed me. Told me my existence was important to her. You don’t know how that helped me so much. And so I told myself I’d decide whether to kms after I did my part in the pt. I survived the night. But regretted it instantly.

The start of the week, the anxiety of the academic fair was still creeping up to me. My head was aching so bad. Another example of how fucking annoying life is. I still could not approach them. I fuxking hate myself. I fuxking hate my unstable mental health. Why am I such a failure?

Don’t overthink, they say. Think positive, they say. It’s all in your head, they say. Do you not think I know that? Do you not think I don’t know what would happen if I would not act? I fucking do. And I hate myself for knowing why I should act but I can’t.

“Anxiety holds me hostage inside of my head” or so to quote Sabrina Benaim.

The forth time I self harmed was January 10, 2018 at 2 am. The school’s academic fair was coming closer than ever. And I have not been able to talk to my fellow class mayors. Maybe they think I had a plan already? Either way we’re fucked. So I punished myself. I deserve the pain. I deserve it for not acting fast enough. For not being confident enough. I fucking loathe myself.

As I am writing this, it’s still January 10. 9 PM. The website said you could die from carbon monoxide poisoning in 3-5 minutes.

I’m going to try it. We’ll be setting up the booth tomorrow. But what’s there to set up though? I fucking failed. I should have attempted this earlier. Last Sunday. But well… here we are now.

Thank you for those who messaged and asked me this week if I was okay. I’m not really. Thank you Axelle for the gifts and for being there.

If I succeed don’t bother with the rituals or stuff you do when someone dies, that just costs money. Burn my body, along with my books, so I’d be with them at least haha. That way you’d have less expenses.

Regrets? All the books I’ll never read. All the shows I’ll never watch. All my goals I’ll never achieve.

I’m sorry. I tried to hold on. But anxiety’s grip is better than mine. Mental health is important guys. Take care of your mental health better than how I handled mine.

I love you all. But goodbye for now?

Or maybe I’ll chicken out again idk.