#i was very busy while i was offline for the past week lol

[missr3n3]

"This is too horrible to have happened to Adam. He didn't deserve this." "Eyes up here, okay?"

so i finally figured out how to do a vhs effect :)

bonus full color version under the cut:

[bigskydreaming]

I kinda wanna fucking scream, so here, have a offline bullshit rant post.

So I’ve literally been trying to get my stupid fucking meds for over a MONTH now at this point, which I’m sure you can all see like, my mood is just wooooonderful these days. Not an excuse, casual reminder that yeah you do gotta take care of your own space so if my mood is dragging anyone down, I’m totes on board with blocking or unfollowing or y’know, burning me in effigy or something. Okay maybe not that last part. But still. You get it. And its not even that like, I need mood stabilizers per se, lol, so shout out to the armchair diagnosticians helpfully peppering my inbox still in their quest to oh so slickly be like ‘hey you’re a hot mess, take your hot messness away from tumblr’ like lol, didn’t ask.....nah, its mostly the perpetual lack of sleep and chronic pain issues that I have zero distraction from when my specific combo of meds isn’t able to let me actually weaponize my ADHD properly and power through that. Its a whole thing. Whatever. Just go with it.

POINT IS. So I’ve been trying to do this for over a month now, first obstacle was even just getting the money together for my refill appointment which is a whopping $150, because I have to pay out of pocket for mental health stuff these days because I had to switch my insurance over to something that paid out more heavily for physical benefits like my jaw surgery.....and because of the pandemic, and how many psychiatrists in my area and that I could actually reach aren’t taking new patients during the pandemic since most of them are conducting business virtually still, like, I have barely any resources for seeking out and trying new psychiatrist offices in the meanwhile that might charge less and I’m kinda stuck with the one I have because the last thing I can afford is to have like, NO psychiatrist at the moment, y’know?

So first I had to have that to even BOOK the appointment, which took forever because rent and food are a joy to accrue when you can barely manage to function as an actual employee of the capitalist machine ahfsklhflkahflakf, but so then I did that and like, got an appointment put on the books for August 19th. That was the soonest they could fit me in back when I paid them for my appointment about a week and a half ago. No, two weeks ago now? Eh, time is fake. ANYWAY, so that wasn’t gonna work for me, so basically the entirety of last week was devoted to constantly calling and trying to check in every other hour to see if they had any sooner cancellations I could take, because for whatever fucking reason, they just ‘don’t do’ a cancellation list wherein they call the next person on the list once they have a cancellation. Whatever.

So finally got a cancellation slot with a virtual appointment last Saturday night at random as fuck 8:40. Okay cool. Most of my refills are fairly simple, no real changes, but two are controlled substances so like, they have to do their due diligence and go through the proper protocols before giving me another prescription to one or whatever. Fine. Okay.

So I call the CVS they sent the prescription for my ADHD med to, the very next morning. One of the controlled substances, and the key med to like....making me functional instead of a rambling disjointed whirlibird of a thought emitter. Problem is, that medication is on back order. Won’t be in until Tuesday. Ugh. Okay, fine. Nothing I can do about it, because while the specific provider I spoke to in order to GET my refill prescriptions was taking an appointment the night before, the actual offices that schedule appointments and connect patients through to their providers was closed for the weekend, so I couldn’t even ask for them to send the scrip somewhere else.

SO. I go back to the CVS on Monday, hoping that maybe it came in early because not like I can do much else in the meanwhile. Course its not there, but oh well. I toy with the idea of calling to ask my provider to send the scrip to a different pharmacy (only had it sent to this one cuz its within walking distance to me, and since I can’t drive for medical reasons and Uber’s are expensive as fuck, just for errands, like, even though walking is sooooo not fun for me physically, like it is what it is). I decide against it because here’s another fun fact about this controlled substance....for security reasons, pharmacies don’t have to tell people over the phone if they have it in stock or not. Like, they won’t just say no we don’t have it in stock - I mean, they WILL say that, but that doesn’t actually mean anything because that’s what most of them say about that particular medication no matter whether or not they DO, and then just cite security protocols, so you have to actually GO to the store in question to ask them and even get a real answer to whether or not they even HAVE it in stock to FILL a prescription if its sent over. And no, the provider won’t just send scrips into several different pharmacies at once and just be whichever has it in stock can fill it - because again, controlled substance.

SO. I decide its not worth it to try getting the scrip sent over somewhere else, because I’d have to at least waste money on an Uber to even travel to various pharmacies and even check if they CAN fill it sooner than this one, when at least this place will have it in tomorrow. Its just one more day at this point.

Except then I go back on Tuesday. Oh sorry, don’t know why that other person told you we’d have our order in today, our shipments of that medication don’t come in until Wednesdays.

So I go back Wednesday. Success! They have it in stock. I go to pay, pulling out my goodRx coupon that was just printed out that morning, specifically citing the price for CVS at Target. The pharmacy manager says sorry, we don’t honor that coupon here for controlled substances like this one. I say: record scratch? He’s like yeah, that’s at the discretion of individual pharmacies, and we don’t honor that price for this specific medication, because we don’t want to attract customers only coming here to get that medication filled for that price. (This pharmacy is right at the edge of Inglewood and Culver City, for anyone who is familiar with those neighborhoods. The implications are exactly as they appear to be). So I’m like, what’s the regular generic price? He quotes me something that’s $180 more than the coupon, and thus $180 more than I have since I was focused totally on getting THIS amount ASAP, so I could get these meds so I could do more work and make more money. You see the train of thought. I’m like well that’s awesome, I don’t have anything close to that. Hey. Weird question. Why did nobody I talked to the past three days in a row that I’ve walked into this store in person to request this refill, like, mention this little tidbit about not honoring this coupon so instead of waiting for a backorder that would do me no good, I could have been spending that time having my prescription transferred somewhere that WOULD honor it?

He’s like, well did you mention to any of them that you’d be using a goodRx coupon for this particular medication? I said, yup. He said, you sure? I said well the specific process each time was I came in, I asked if this medication was in, they said what’s your name and date of birth, I provided that info, they said are you paying out of pocket, we don’t have valid insurance info for this on file for you, I said yup paying out of pocket with a goodRx coupon, they said *clickety clack of the keyboard* nope, sorry, we won’t have this medicine in until Tuesday, I mean Wednesday. 

He’s like, well you must be misremembering or they would have told you at the time that we don’t take GoodRx coupons on this medication. I’m like, dude, it was you. It was literally you that I spoke to two of those three times, right here at the counter, in person. I’m gonna go ahead and trust my memory of those interactions and what was said there over yours since you don’t actually remember having talked to me two times in the last three days. He’s like, I gotta go help another customer. There is no other customer. I leave. Fun day for everyone.

So then I call around town to at least check which CVS will actually honor the coupon I have and the price that I can afford to pay it at. I don’t bother asking if they even have the medication in stock because I know its not guaranteed to be a CORRECT answer, but at least I can see who accepts this damn coupon. Also, reason I’m only trying big brand pharmacies instead of smaller, hole in the wall ones is because again, controlled substance, and I know from experience that the bigger brand pharmacies are at least more likely to have that med in stock whereas most smaller ones tend to run out very quickly as they usually only get enough for their existing/regular customers and a little extra.

I find a CVS five miles away - not walkable, gonna have to Uber. Call my psychiatrist office again to ask them to transfer the scrip, front office says they’ll send the request to my provider, who usually checks and fulfills such requests in 24-48 hours. I’m like okay cool, can I get a phone call to let me know when that happens, so at least I know when to check back to follow up if it hasn’t happened yet for whatever reason? They’re like no, the pharmacy will send you a text or call when they get the prescription sent over and you can take it from there with them. I’m like okay, but I’ve done this a bunch of times and know from experience the pharmacy does NOT in fact always call or text, so is there a certain time to follow up to inquire if the provider has already sent the scrip and the pharmacy SHOULD have it by now or if the delay is on the provider’s end? Front office is like yeah no. I’m like, swell.

So that was yesterday. I call the pharmacy (which I still don’t even know if they have the medication IN STOCK to fill the scrip even once they GET the scrip, and won’t until I can actually Uber out there, but one thing at a time at this point) at like 9 pm, they’re a 24 hour pharmacy, and they’re like nope, we got nothing (this is after spending an hour and a half on hold to even TALK to someone at the pharmacy). Called them again today at noon, still nada. Technically I have another 29 hours before the window in which the provider is supposed to send the refill scrip to this new location, before I can be like, okay so they still haven’t done it, can we send him a nudge or another request. The 24-48 hour window will only actually EXPIRE after their offices close on Friday meaning it’ll be Monday before I can even actually REACH someone again to ask them to send the scrip again, if the pharmacy hasn’t ACTUALLY gotten it by Friday night, and pessimistically, I’m not super inclined to assume that they will at this point. 

I’m antsy, irritable, hungry because I don’t even know for SURE sure if the new pharmacy will ACTUALLY honor the coupon or say no sorry we don’t do that here either, whoever told you that was wrong, or if they’ll even actually have it in stock versus I’ll have to have it sent somewhere else AGAIN, so I have to pinch every penny possible in order to ensure I have the most money possible once my prescription IS filled in case the price is more than I expected again or in case I have to take Ubers there or further than I expected or basically....shit happens that I don’t expect. And this is what I’m basically spending all my time doing instead of working, because trying to get work done in this state is like....the harder I try to make it happen, the less it actually gets done, so I try and prioritize this and its roadblock after roadblock dragging out and wasting my time, and like yeah, I can post and shit while I’m doing this aka sitting on hold or walking around town trying to get shit filled because its fine if I ramble incoherently along the way in posts, but actual WORK work requires like....fucking coherency and succinctness and not having to stop and start every five minutes to call someone else, and oh yeah, being able to power through migraine spikes. And just.

I’m very annoyed about anything and everything to do with this shit. The hoops you have to jump through to even get the stuff that like....actualizes your hoop jumping ability, is just....*gnashing of teeth*

Anyway. So that’s my offline bullshit rant. Yay. The end.

[hollyand-writes]

Belated Happy New Year, all!  (Also: ACE fic update)

Thanks to everyone who tagged me in things and/or sent me messages over Tumblr and Discord -- it’ll take me a while to catch up on all of them as I’ve been offline for several weeks, but thanks for thinking of me and I’ll reply to them when I can! 

Still very busy with home-moving and furniture-buying and so on (which was why I was offline so much this past month; also our plans to paint the new apartment have had to be put on hold due to a few unexpected setbacks LOL but never mind) but we do now have a temporary internet solution in the new apartment, albeit a flaky connection, which is great as we’re both back to work tomorrow (today’s a Bank Holiday in the UK). 

Also, now that I have (some) internet connection again, I thought I’d post up Chapter 51 of A Chance Engagement (Regency AU Carver/Merrill) since it’s been ready to go for several months now -- I don’t have good enough internet this evening to make up a fic promo post or banner tonight, so I’ll do it another time -- and in the meantime, please enjoy the new chapter anyway!

[espship18]

Kpop ship for K anon

Hi everyone! It’s nearly been a week since I’ve posted and I apologize, between work and family, things get crazy! I have a ship for an anon who goes by ‘K’, so K, I hope you’re reading, and let’s get into it!

Based off of your request, I gathered these things about you: 

You’re 5′6

You’re Asian American 

You have long and wavy brown hair that has an ombre effect

Your fashion style is soft grunge 

Virgo and ISFJ personality

You can be introverted and sensitive at first, but you can be talkative and loyal when you’re comfortable

You like: nature, traveling, learning other cultures, going to concerts, watching Netflix in bed, and eating 

And in your request, you asked to be shipped with BTS, EXO, NCT, and Seventeen! This is gonna be long so please, sit back, grab a drink, and let’s get shipping!  P.S- I kinda started using the nicknames I gave the idols, can’t help it lol 

BTS: Jin 

I wanna start by saying that I love this ship because it is so sweet. You two would take good care of each other, having each other backs 24/7 and you’re always there for each other. Not to mention that you two would have so much admiration for each other, and it’s one of the sweetest things ever. At first, you two would be equally as shy to each other but as time would go by, you would become more comfortable with each other. I can also see that you two would bring out the best in one another. You two would push each other to be your best, and you’d live your best life. I like to think you two would be like ying and yang. Then I’d also like to think that you two would be a cute balance of black and white. I’m merely saying this from your differing clothing styles, but it’s still a cute thought. You would be Jin’s little grunge babe. He would appreciate that you wouldn’t want to go with the flow of normal trends and you’d always looks cute no matter what you wore tbh. Jin would also be that boyfriend that would LOVE to talk about you to everyone he’s around. There isn’t a part of Jin that he wouldn’t admire about you. From the way you would ramble about something or express your excitement, Jin would think it would be the cutest thing ever and he would always tell his friends, the members, or his family about how cute and precious you are, and how you have amazing ideas and how creative you can be. Moving on to talking about date night, your date nights would always revolve around food. Whether it be ordering in or actually going out to a restaurant, date night is always about food and you two having a good time. And listen, let’s say Jin is an idol in this scenario. When he would do an episode of “Eat Jin” your date nights would be a live stream for “Eat Jin”. Now, you wouldn’t do this every date night because you wouldn’t want every date night to be out to the public, but it would a fun thing to do every once in a while and answer fans questions! Also, I can see you and Jin being one of those couples that enjoy to stay inside and spend time together. You two would have the cutest little city apartment with a balcony where you’d have a little fire pit, and you’d hang out there all the time. You and Jin would appreciate you time, as life can be so busy and there’s nothing better than spending time with your S/o. I also think that Jin would straight up prefer to have you to himself and neither one of you would mind that. You’re wrapped around each others pinkies- and that’s totally okay!

EXO: Yixing

Again, this is another sweet ship that I am living for! I think that you and Yixing would really hit it off due to the similarities in your personalities and your interests. You two would be that it couple that everyone dreams to be. Talking about some things in your relationship, dancing and concerts would be your thing. Imagine you two making a simple choreo together and not only did you two work amazingly together, but you two actually give feeling and life to the dance. Like if you two were to post the dance on YouTube or Instagram, EVERYONE would be able to see the love that you two would have in your eyes and by the moves of your bodies. It would be like one like no other. Now, moving on to concerts, concert tickets would always be a surprise thing because you’re young and only live once. With your favorite flowers in one hand and the tickets in the other, Xing would love to surprise you with tickets. He’s the type of boyfriend that will get you the tickets for you and him, or even for you and a friend. The tickets can range from your fav groups, to his favorite groups. Hell, there would even be a new artist that you two would discover together and seeing that artist would be a perfect experience for you both. Going to a concert is a perfect way to spend a weekend or part of a week, so I can see you and Xing coming up with different ways that you could make a mini trip out of it. Traveling around your area and going to new places is always a wonderful idea, and you two would make so many memories together, it would never get old. With the amount of attention that you two would have going towards your relationship, I would say Xing would prefer to have your relationship stay a secret and offline. Of course you wouldn’t stay completely isolated from the public and there would be the occasional Instagram picture every now and then, but you two would prefer to have your relationship a secret, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Moving on, I think this is an interesting observation on Yixing’s part. I think that Yixing is a very curious person and he is willing to try anything once. So, do not be surprised if Yixing starts taking an interest in soft grungy style. He would high-key love to help pick out clothes for you and dress you, and he would totally want you to help dress him. He’d think it would be awesome to try and couple-style. I also wanna hit on date night super quick. Yixing has connections everywhere, so you best believe that you and Xing are going to have a great date night. Be prepared for a lot of great food, and also be prepared for a wonderful night with an angel, because he’s going to treat you like a queen. 

NCT: Mark

Moving right along, we’re going to move onto some more wild child, what I like to call all around type of relationships. Mr. Lee here is your all around type of guy, and it’s really hard not to love him. By the way, you will have to protect him. I think that you two would go great together because I think you two would give positive energy to each other and you would always strive to get into each others interest. It wouldn’t be hard to be comfortable around Mark tbh, and since Mark is a literal puppy, he would know when to dial down just enough so you wouldn’t get too overwhelmed. You two are like two peas in a pod, so cute! You two could equally be a wild and mild couple. Both you and him would have a lot going on at times and you would have your life together and then you would have your lives separated. As much as you two would enjoy going your own thing, there are those weeks where you really want to focus on your relationship and staying in the dorm away from people and watching Netflix or listening to music can help you two out tremendously. You two would be that type of couple that would snuggle up together and watch a show together. Then when one of you would be busy and you’d be alone, you’d watch an episode..or four without the other and get caught. The silly betrayal would be precious to me, I don’t know why. And then, as a past time, I think it would be super cute if you and Mark would start studying a language together, and you’d also study the country that went along with your language. The process of learning the language together would be a fun project to work on together, and you two would always keep yourselves motivated to study and get better, and you two would also practice with each other, so you’re really killing two birds with one stone. #innovation am I right? lol. I wanna go back for 2.5 to when you two would meet my notes are a mess, sorry. I can see Mark being a little nervous bean when he would want to approach you for the first time. He would be worried that you would have the “don’t f*ck with me” type of attitude, but when you would show your true colors to him, this bean would melt like putty from your attention and he would easily become a love sick puppy for you. By the way, you two would stand up for each other so amazingly. I’ll just say that if anyone were to come for Mark and slander him on the internet, you would shut that shit down so fast and you’d have the best clap back ever. Your protective and defensive nature would send Mark in heart eyes mode, and he would admire the loyalty that you would give him.

Seventeen: Seungcheol 

Okay, last but not least, this may be one of my favorite ships so far. I was a little unsure about which member to ship you with, but Coups hit me in the face like “PICK ME PICK ME” and here we are. You two have so much balance and you are his princess or prince if you happen to be a boy/different pronoun. Coups would be the bEST boyfriend ever when would come to surprises. I know I used the surprise card with Yixing earlier, but listen, his surprises go further than concert tickets. Coups would really want to keep the element of surprise alive in your relationship- it’s always a great idea to keep you on your toes. Coups would always surprise you with the best date nights(if it wasn’t your turn to plan date night) from dinner dates to a simple night alone in the dorm. Bringing you roses and your favorite flower would be his specialty, as he would always when know to surprise you if you would be having a rough week. Also, good morning and good night texts are always a MUSt with this man, so you never have to worry about him not showing love. He is a wonderful person without being in a relationship, so just imagine him in a relationship. Which I also want to add this because I think it’s precious. Coups would love to hear about the dreams and ideas you would have for trips and date nights. He wouldn’t take all the ideas, just so he doesn’t hog the relationship, but he would love to take the ideas you would have and transform them into reality. Coups would always pull strings and set up amazing dates for you. There is one particular date I would like to talk about for an example. You would have this idea of visiting a national forest of sorts to see what all nature has to bring, and Cheol would make a weekend date out of it. Going to the local wildlife zoo, going on hikes and walks, and even going as far as camping, would be on your agenda for the weekend. Being together and out in nature, and most importantly- making you happy would be the main goals for the weekend. Having some Healing time(HAH, get it?) would also be on that agenda, and you two would get to learn so much about each other, and you would bond and fall even more in love with each other. Very lastly, I want to touch on PDA. Out of all the boys I have shipped you with, I think that Coups would have the most PDA with you. Coups would be in love with you and he is not afraid to show it. Coups would always want to post cute little pictures of you together on Instagram. Then forehead kisses and back hugs are also his thing. And most importantly, he would always have his hand connected to yours. 

~STA

[comicteaparty]

May 9th, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on May 9th, 2019, from 5PM - 7PM PDT.  The chat focused on Lodestar by SasstastiKim.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB START!

Good evening, everyone~! This week’s Thursday Book Club is officially beginning! Today we are discussing Lodestar by SasstastiKim~! (http://lodestar.smackjeeves.com/)

Remember that Thursday discussions are completely freeform! However, every 30 minutes I will drop in OPTIONAL discussion questions in case you’d like a bit of a prompt. If you miss out on one of these prompts, you can find them pinned for the chat’s duration. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is fun and respectfully appreciating the comic. All that said, let’s begin!

QUESTION 1. What is your favorite scene in the comic so far and why?

Darkhalo4321

My favorite scene has to be... the coffee shop book place thingy. With taylor! Sarcasm max.

Letter Bee

Elliot being told to trust his new friends by his mother.

SpazztastiKim

Author note: chapter one is getting "remodeled" so any suggestions are welcome

Kabocha

My favorite scene? Probably be this one: http://lodestar.smackjeeves.com/comics/2597078/ch2-pg-17/ ...It's so atmospheric, and that is a very good and creepy looking heart. I'm into the atmosphere. Under @SpazztastiKim's cute artwork lies something deceptively dark...

Darkhalo4321

I looooooovethe backgrounds in that sequence

L O V E

Yes, very dark. >:3c

RebelVampire

yeah i got second that as my favorite scene. cause the atmosphere is to die for. and i love how contrasted it is from the previous scenes cause you go into it and immediately go "oh no a spooky dream"

Kabocha

Also, Kim -- if you are interested in critique, etc, I can throw you thoughts in private, but I didnt' like, make any notes or anything. It's your comic and I figured that you were doin' errything to have fun! (And get some good creepiness in there too)

SpazztastiKim

You are welcome to!

Kabocha

Okay. I'll do that offline and another day, then. But I do think you've got a good story here, so please don't feel obliged to open yourself up to such feedback!

SpazztastiKim

Thank you

Darkhalo4321

Let us gush over how superb becky's optimism is

SpazztastiKim

Lol

RebelVampire

im busy gushing over the dialogue on this page http://lodestar.smackjeeves.com/comics/2749604/ch3-pg10/

Kabocha

Honestly I just really like the magic effects, not gonna lie

RebelVampire

like its so silly and yet reminds me of youth

Kabocha

I'm looking forward to more magic and ghost stuff

RebelVampire

cause these are random convos i would have as a youth with ppl

Kabocha

YEAH

Darkhalo4321

Same here!

Kabocha

It's so dramatic, and... man,... I remember being like that when I was younger

I don't recall if it's stated in-comic, but how old is everyone?

SpazztastiKim

Not stated yet. You can guess tho XD

RebelVampire

elliot was a 30 year old man this entire time

SpazztastiKim

Oof XDD

Kabocha

Ahahaha. I was guessing 14~15

Darkhalo4321

Im not allowed to guess because i kinda know XD

SpazztastiKim

Lol

Kabocha

Either way, I'm guessing high school for all of them, but nobody's a senior XD

Darkhalo4321

Except for ally

Shes like younger, like idk maybe hr high ish?

I actually dont know for sure her age

RebelVampire

i wouldve guessed middle school personally. but its hard to tell cause i need to see more adults

Kabocha

Maybe? She throws me a little bit? XD She's probably 13ish?

Darkhalo4321

Shes a precious cinnamonroll and needs protected at all costs

RebelVampire

yeah id peg 13ish for ally personally too.

idk if she need the protecting. she is not the one who got tackled to the ground

Kabocha

I would not fight her

Darkhalo4321

No

She will tackle you to the ground in l o v e

Kabocha

I do also really like how everyone's designs are unique

So it's really easy to distinguish who's who (and I'm pretty sure if it was a greyscale comic, it'd still be very easy... Which is really good)

....ALSO WHAT WAS WITH THE POINTY EARS

Darkhalo4321

Yeah kim

S'plain

X'D

Kabocha

I'm getting the feeling that there are spoilers in that answer

SpazztastiKim

OP... someone noticed

Kabocha

but

I can't help but feel like there are some alternate world or reincarnation shenanigans afoot

RebelVampire

elliot was an elf in a past life and the birth he witnessed was from back then

ya know what scratch that

he was the elf prince

Kabocha

Okay so I'm not the only one that thought that though

RebelVampire

just make everyone a prince

SpazztastiKim

Pfft yes

Kabocha

What's with the lanterns though... hahaha

But I really do have to wonder what all is going on there. The wolf skeleton was warning him about a thing he... sealed away.

SpazztastiKim

Was it sealed tho?

Kabocha

.... Maybe not

Darkhalo4321

:0

Kabocha

but, I mean, it's hella vague I feel like the wolf is protecting Elliot tho

Darkhalo4321

I get that vibe too, wasnt nice atthe end tho >:T

Kabocha

No, but this probably has happened before

Darkhalo4321

Ya think?

RebelVampire

when you say this are you talking about the dream itself or like the sealed away creature thing?

Kabocha

http://lodestar.smackjeeves.com/comics/2612346/ch2-pg18/ Well, the wolf says that Elliot's been dragged away before

so the thing that's hunting Elliot in his dream proooooooooooooooooooooooooobably has gone after him before

unless the "Birth" in question means it manifested in physical form

Darkhalo4321

D:

OH

Kabocha

KIM IS THIS NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET, AND ALL THESE KIDS ARE GONNA GET KILLED BY FREDDY

Darkhalo4321

Maybe

XD

MAYBE

SpazztastiKim

Pffft

RebelVampire

that theory did occur to me

cause of the dream themes

that this is basically monster in the dreams

rip everyone

Darkhalo4321

I mean, I know kim loves horror movies SO

Kabocha

Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Warriors II

RebelVampire

so the thing about the pointy ears that actually interests me the most is that elliot didnt seem to notice all that much or care. and like i know there was a bloody skeleton wolf scaring the crap outta him, but i feel like hed have at least been a little like "hey i am an elf boy now"

also the fact that the dream did not start off with pointy ears

they only showed up with wolf dude

Kabocha

It might be a sign of magic or something. Or maybe he and his ghost are just used to the pointed ears showing up

Darkhalo4321

Ooohh

I didn't notice tyhat!

Kabocha

I did have to re-read that part when I looked at this earlier this week -- it was like "waaaaaaaaaaait a minute"

SpazztastiKim

Hmm WHEN did the change happen again?

Darkhalo4321

Hm indeed

Kabocha

It seems to be a slow transition to be honest

Darkhalo4321

you know who we haven't mentioned yet- TOM my favorite character.

Kabocha

http://lodestar.smackjeeves.com/comics/2456424/ch2-pg11/ On this page, they start to look slightly pointed http://lodestar.smackjeeves.com/comics/2505393/ch2-pg12/ AND THEN He starts to hear things and cough... And magic shows up in the next page

mathtans

Here for the moment, the little one is being very fussy this evening. I think my favourite scene was in the night terror in chapter 2, where we just had the glowing eyes - and then Mandy's glowing hand. Creepy and atmospheric.

Scrolling back to read, I liked how Elliot was thankful not to be a hobbit when he woke.

Darkhalo4321

Right?

Imagine if he woke up and HAD POINTY EARS

the rest of the cast would have been howling

Kabocha

Also, he's focusing on the important things: Not being a dream zombie

RebelVampire

i will be surprised if that doesnt happen one day. that he wakes up with elf ears and has to explain to everyone that surprise, hes an elf now

QUESTION 2. Dreams seem to be central to the story at hand. How do you interpret Elliot’s latest dream? Was it a dream, or was it something more? Whose birth did Elliot supposedly witness, and what exactly is it hungering for? Who is the black wolf that delivers the warnings to Elliot, and why is Elliot the one tasked with helping to defeat whatever the wolf is warning him about? Additionally, if this is no simple dream, why doesn’t Elliot remember this supposed event? Last but not least, what do you make of Elliot’s appearance change within the dream, and what do you think the meaning of the lantern is?

mathtans

I don't think it's a nightmare on elm street kind of thing, because Crystal Lake was dropped as a reference, so these sorts of things already exist in the characters' universe.

Chapter 4, Elliot joins an elf help group.

RebelVampire

but see thats the genius of it. drop the refs, nobody thinks anything of it and is like "ah just a red herring"

and then boom

dream murderer

Kabocha

THE DREAM WAS A WARNING I don't know if the "Starve it" Though... well. Maybe it wants to eat his dreams. Dream eater. OH MY GOD ELLIOT'S BEING HUNTED BY A DROWZEE

Darkhalo4321

THAT PUN WAS GOLD

That would be sneaky!

mathtans

It can't be a simple dream either way. Mandy joined him. That can't be a normal thing for ghosts. Can it?

RebelVampire

yeah starve it really interesting. cause what do you have to deprive the creature or whatever it is of to starve it? is elliot just not supposed to get eaten? is it dreams? is it ghosts?

although maybe its the lantern

nah

no way that was just a dream

Kabocha

Maybe. The lantern did come out as danger started to come near

RebelVampire

that was a vision

Kabocha

what is Mandy anyway

didn't he say that she was never alive to begin with? Or was he speaking generally

....What if Mandy was a victim of the thing?

RebelVampire

or even worse

mandy is the thing

SpazztastiKim

Scary

Darkhalo4321

Mandi is an imaginary friend taken form because of El? Maybe? Like, Can El manifest things?

Without knowing it-

RebelVampire

that could also be true

but im now sticking to the she is the thing one

cause it would explain why the wolf kicked her out

and said "no dream warnings for you"

Darkhalo4321

Aw

I know she's not like... real but she HAS FEELINGS DREAM WOLF

OH, but aside from just El having that one nightmare, apparently it's a prevalent problem going on- so it's not just isolated.

RebelVampire

ya know, i just want to point out if the dream wolf is going around warning ppl, the strategy is not very effective. fear is not the answer wolf.

Kabocha

Based on the comic description... We'll have to see more about that though

I dunno, if you scare someone enough, they'll stay away

Darkhalo4321

maybe el gets royal treatment of being warned

Kabocha

maybe the wolf is protecting the place where "it" is

Darkhalo4321

while everyone else just gets stalked with EYES

Kabocha

it's because he's acutally Frodo Baggins

Darkhalo4321

YES

HE IS SHORT

Kabocha

and the thing after them is Melkor. Or Sauron.

SpazztastiKim

obviously its voldemort

Darkhalo4321

!!!

you mean, he who should not be named!

Kabocha

GASP!

What about the Babadook

SpazztastiKim

my bad

OOF

RebelVampire

where elliot lives the dream wolf is just how the letters are delivered

Darkhalo4321

Baba Yaga

RebelVampire

http://lodestar.smackjeeves.com/comics/2597078/ch2-pg-17/ so i wonder who all the creepy ppl are in the bg

mathtans

Maybe it's like regular dreams, you don't really remember them unless you're woken up in the middle. So the wolf is waking everyone up with love bites.

RebelVampire

like was the creature born cause ppl were like "yaay sacrifice"

Kabocha

Oh, great, the wolf is my cat

SpazztastiKim

pfft

Darkhalo4321

if that's what you call a LOVE bite...>>

RebelVampire

the wolf is reading the wrong book of how to talk to humans

SpazztastiKim

lol

mathtans

There were five witnesses to the birth maybe, Rebel. They were summoned to the place in dreams.

Superjustinbros

HELLO

Kabocha

I'mma go out on a limb and say the people in the BG were part of the creation. THE COUNCIL OF CREATION A bunch of high elves that decided one day, "hey, let's just do this whole thing and nothing can go wrong" And Elliot was like, "NOPE" And died and went into another world where it was nearly unleashed upon them.

Justin, what are your thoughts on the Wolf and the Five people on Chapter 2, Page 17?

mathtans

They're looking at a heart.

Superjustinbros

Can I bring it home and call it Maniac?

SpazztastiKim

good name for it

Superjustinbros

Anyways hey there, sorry I'm a bit late

Room's getting redesigned but to stray from going offtopic I wanted to drop in and hand out and see what we're all talknig about tonight

RebelVampire

they are looking at a heart. Elliot was the mage who betrayed the council and realized his magic was for healing not the dark arts

Kabocha

Yep. We're talking about this week's comic -- Lodestar. As is the usual thing on the Thursday Bookclub~

Superjustinbros

Oh yea

Kabocha

http://lodestar.smackjeeves.com/comics/2597078/ch2-pg-17/ But really, I wonder what "it" is. .... Maybe there was a ritual.

Superjustinbros

Is that white line it's eye

Kabocha

Also -- did Eliot's magical scratch appear when the lantern showed up I'm just noticing this Does magic have a price?

RebelVampire

i assum eyes, the white line is its eye

that page did have the atmosphere of ritual

mostly cause of the heart

you dont hold beating hearts unless youre doing a ritual

idk i couldnt figure out when the scratch showed up. id have to look again super close

Darkhalo4321

It's def. Skooky

Kabocha

http://lodestar.smackjeeves.com/comics/2547332/ch2-pg14/ It's this page, Rebel

Superjustinbros

I ruined the feel of this image

SpazztastiKim

pfft(edited)

meme material

Darkhalo4321

I mean- MAYBE the wolf thing, wants to be empathetci?

Kabocha

"The woods cried out: FEED ME pls can i haz yer dinner hoomin"

Darkhalo4321

also likes hoomin heartz

SpazztastiKim

GOOD LORD XDD

mathtans

The whole glowing eyes thing is pretty cool. Not sure how the effect is done, but nice.

Darkhalo4321

It's not like I LIKE you or anything! B-BAKA!

SpazztastiKim

TSUNDERE DEMON

Darkhalo4321

kiss kiss fall in the lake!

Kabocha

Also likes hoomin necks They are like beef, but more gamey

mathtans

Maybe the demon is actually that aunt, the one who made the tea.

SpazztastiKim

Nom nom

Darkhalo4321

D:

Taylor?!

Kabocha

... I mean, dreams can be representational

so you got a Mama Wolf protectin' her youngins

Darkhalo4321

maybe- el is part dream wolf?

SpazztastiKim

i'm dead

mathtans

Yis. Summoned Elliot into town so the ghost Mandy could help.

"My other form is also a wolf."

RebelVampire

elliot wasnt real all along

he was summon

Kabocha

Oh no

Darkhalo4321

MAYBE- el is the creation woooooo

Kabocha

This isn't Final Fantasy 10, Rebel

unless we're getting meta, and we need El's father to be the wolf -- a summon from a dream becomes a dreaming summoned beast...

Darkhalo4321

I mean like-

We haven't SEEN el's dad yet so

Superjustinbros

"Hey, you OK?" "Does this look "Okay" to you?!"

_okay I'm done

Back to the comic

RebelVampire

yeah i was just about to say this is really gonna mess up the archives if it continues since i cant include images XD

Superjustinbros

Yeah lol

I feel like the joke has run it's course anyways

SpazztastiKim

I'm crying

Superjustinbros

You can only hammer in a joke edit so many times before it stops being entertaining

RebelVampire

onto the scratch. i get more the impression that the scratch was gonna happen anyway and the lantern showed up saying "hey stop scratching my boy"

Kabocha

image: [Elliot: don't make me Tidus- I wanna be Cloud]

SpazztastiKim

asdfghjkl!!!!

Superjustinbros

you wanna be a Cloud?

Darkhalo4321

giant SWORD

Superjustinbros

Oh that Cloud

RebelVampire

QUESTION 3. Early on, we learn that Elliot is supposedly psychic or an empath. Do you think Elliot is telling the truth about mostly just seeing ghosts, or does he really have other psychic powers as the others accuse him of? Who exactly do you think Mandy is, and what do you make of her closeness with Elliot? In other words, how do you think the two met? Do you think Elliot was born with whatever powers he has, or does it somehow tie into the creature he was warned about in the dream? Overall, how do you think Elliot’s abilities will help or hinder him in his task? What about in general for his newfound life in the town?

Kabocha

Elliot would not be a good Cloud, honestly. He's got too much personality, and too little damage from experimentation

Superjustinbros

Well we've seen a demon and a ghost so...

Kabocha

I THINK Mandy is his sister from another life. Or his best friend. And she couldn't be reincarnated with him, so she stuck around.

RebelVampire

was gonna go with his stillborn sister who never was

Darkhalo4321

But she was stated as never having BEEN alive?

That she wasn't real?

Kabocha

She's real for sure

She could also be a magic spirit, so she was never alive in the sense that humans would comprehend

Darkhalo4321

Real blue

SpazztastiKim

Har

mathtans

Elliot is all digital. He's in the Cloud.

RebelVampire

Elliot: I'm sorry Mandy but you're not real. Mandy: I'm...I'm floating right here and we're talking. Elliot: No, still not real.

Darkhalo4321

Maybe- El got the magic powers? ? From his last enounter that almost took him? And maybe mandi is some form of like... side kick from that?

Superjustinbros

Cloud saves? @mathtans

mathtans

I do think Elliot probably has other powers, but I don't think he actually knows about them. As to Mandy, I like Rebel's theory.(edited)

Kabocha

El goes on Dr. Phil, gets told "Perception is reality" Mandy laughs because... well

RebelVampire

so basically mandy is his familiar?

Superjustinbros

>Dr Phil I haven't heard that in a long time

Seems like it

Darkhalo4321

honestly, El would just sass his way out of dr. phil's show. they'd be like plz leave

Maybe?

RebelVampire

thats when they send him to jerry springer

mathtans

How did Mandy get her name? She must have existed at some point. Elliot doesn't seem like the type to just come up with that name, he's too introverted.

Kabocha

Maybe she has some sort of secret magic name

Darkhalo4321

Maybe Mandi named herself?

or came with a name?

Kabocha

and "Mandy" is just short for like Almandiasoriginamyeriath

mathtans

Bless you.

Darkhalo4321

cough kabo that's... I'm dying XD

Kabocha

HEY I know what "Bless you" means in some places!

Darkhalo4321

Salude

SpazztastiKim

ME TOO

Superjustinbros

Gesundheit.

RebelVampire

if we go with reincarnation being in this, maybe mandy isnt real cause she hasnt moved on in this life, has no memories of her past, and is basically just an empty shell floating around

Darkhalo4321

Oooh?

That's an interesting theory

Superjustinbros

I've seen stories with spirits like this

Kabocha

I'm curious to see what Mandy is later in the story, though. Like, if she's not real, then what is she. I'm pretty sure if she got kicked out of the dream, she's got some substance to her.

Superjustinbros

Yeah..

RebelVampire

well i guess it largely depends on what elliot's definition of real is

Darkhalo4321

:0

RebelVampire

i could also argue elliot is just deluding himself as to whether shes real or not because its how he protects his sanity

cause elliot doesnt seem fond of the idea that he has powers

so if he pretends none of its real its fine

Darkhalo4321

Yeah considering that he got REAL dark real fast when Becky kind of prodded him about the idea of it being... odd-

but thank god for Mandi she reeled that back in fast.

Kabocha

Elliot's been through some crap, hasn't he

Darkhalo4321

I FEEL like it- He's been through something- :/ but what? WHO knows-

RebelVampire

Elliot remembers the great elf war

Darkhalo4321

maybe el is actually an elf from another world, and this is an isekai story and we have no idea

Kabocha

"Remembers" only in his dreams

I AM DOWN FOR THIS

Darkhalo4321

reverse isekai?

RebelVampire

i am ok with this

Kabocha

YEP.

SpazztastiKim

Y'all would be great at DnD

Darkhalo4321

I'm going to get yelled at aren't I?

Superjustinbros

is not a DnD player(edited)

Kabocha

I'm also cool with it being a reincarnation story, or just that El gets to see all sorts of monstrous things because he's got some sort of magic shenanigans going on

Darkhalo4321

poor unfortunate soooooul

RebelVampire

im ok as long as elliot lives to tell the story cause the world would be a lesser place without his snark

Darkhalo4321

I would cry

SpazztastiKim

X'D

Darkhalo4321

I would actually FLY TO KIM'S AND we'd have a long talk

>:T

#teamelliotlives

SpazztastiKim

-tosses the idea pretending I never planned it-

mathtans

Maybe Mandy will start possessing people. Suddenly Becky gets real mellow. Suspicious.

SpazztastiKim

pfft

Superjustinbros

Oh good just what we need

Ghosts doing ghost stuff

RebelVampire

wait maybe mandy is just the manifestation of elliot's lantern hence why she was never alive and isnt real

Kabocha

WAIT, Is there a risk of people actually dying in this story ... ...Kim are you going to kill off Elliot

SpazztastiKim

no

Darkhalo4321

I feel like Becky would out.... do a ghost?

SpazztastiKim

HA

Darkhalo4321

SHE IS JUST TOO MUICH spirit for them XD

RebelVampire

Tom though is probably doomed for possession

SpazztastiKim

Poor Tom

Kabocha

.... Oh god you're probably right Rebel

Darkhalo4321

Becky is the one that would go " NO YOU DONT! " and unpossess herself with will power

Kabocha

Tom gets possessed and he seese EVERY HORRIBLE THING he's forced to do to feed the hunger

Darkhalo4321

NOT TOM

Kabocha

turns out the hunger is just really into chocolates

SpazztastiKim

PFFT

Darkhalo4321

NOOOO

Kabocha

They break into a Godiva shop with Tom's body

Superjustinbros

Did someone say chocolates?

Darkhalo4321

CHOCOLATE?!

Superjustinbros

http://lodestar.smackjeeves.com/comics/2771909/ch3-pg14/ I wonder what flavor everyone's getting then

Kabocha

The Wolf isn't super keen on the whole Chocolates thing though, because, y'know, theobromine poisoning...

SpazztastiKim

hehe

Darkhalo4321

so that's why the wolf says STARVE it

Superjustinbros

Tsundre wolf cannot consume ice cream

RebelVampire

well at least a chocolate quest would be more pleasant than alternatives XD

Darkhalo4321

TRUE

Superjustinbros

XD

Chocolate Ice Cream? :3

RebelVampire

thats going too far in the sweets department questing O_O

Kabocha

Hey, at least Tom won't have to gorge himself on other things. But they do find out their local big box store was robbed of all its chocolate rabbits around easter...

SpazztastiKim

Truly the worst that could happen to this town(edited)

RebelVampire

but after Tom is freed hed never want to eat chocolate ever again

Kabocha

That's a tragedy.

Superjustinbros

RIP Chocolate rabbits.

RebelVampire

i want to see more tom though. i appreciate his calm demeanor in the face of the girls rampant amounts of energy

Darkhalo4321

Yes

Tom seems like the, solid rock founddation of the group type

mathtans

I like that idea that Mandy is just the manifestation of some object. Maybe something Elliot carries with him. A watch? He was good at pegging tea time.

RebelVampire

also cause tom is the useful one. cause becky is like "FARM FESTIVAL" and Ally is like "SWIMMING AND ICE CREAM" meanwhile tom is being a good boy and researching stuff for elliot

mathtans

Tom is a good counterpoint. He understands all the characters too.

Darkhalo4321

Like Hey let's do the job our club is suppose to do, shall we?

RebelVampire

Elliot is a time lord

mathtans

Oh yeah, the Farm Festival is sure to be a plot point. It's a metaphor for something.

RebelVampire

mystery solved(edited)

Darkhalo4321

I mean, if this were ouran host club, he's kyouya ... the only one that keeps the club on TASK

mathtans

Elliot's consciousness is trapped in a pocketwatch. With Mandy.

RebelVampire

ya know i could dig time lord elliot tho for reals. cause it explains why hes an elf or something. he just time travels and forgets he time travels. but why he knows how to save ppl from falling stuff

Kabocha

The farm festival will be... full of lore. About how they had the festival to appease a hungry beast.

Superjustinbros

oh boy

Darkhalo4321

Maybe

They farm

hearts

SpazztastiKim

HA

gross

Kabocha

Hey, the heart could have been a Deer Heart

Darkhalo4321

was it though?

Kabocha

Coulda been.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 4. As the comic opens up, we meet a slew of characters and learn some notable things in regards to dream. What do you make of the fact another person is supposedly having intense dreams similar to Elliot’s? Does this have anything to do with the creature, or is it simply a red herring? If it does have something to do with it, what do you think Elliot will have to do about it to help the victim? In general, how do you think the dream club Elliot joined will help him in his overall task? Moving on from Elliot, which of Elliot’s friends are you looking forward to learning more about? In what ways do you think these friends might help Elliot deal with his problems and his quest?

Superjustinbros

How intense we talking? Like, Math Test insane?

Darkhalo4321

WELL Becky has every intention of making sure el has a social life, some what-

Tom will probably ensure no one dies- or he'll die trying.

RebelVampire

dark no

dont even suggest tom dies

Darkhalo4321

What if

he does die tho

RebelVampire

protect that child

Darkhalo4321

D:

RebelVampire

no protect that child

Darkhalo4321

Ally tho

RebelVampire

or dont and be optimistic and assume him becoming a ghost will make him the most powerful being

Darkhalo4321

:0

Ghost Tom

mathtans

Elliot's the replacement Chosen One. The current one in town is having trouble.

Darkhalo4321

current one?

Superjustinbros

?

SpazztastiKim

esplain Mathans

Kabocha

So, if we were to categorize these characters as horror characters...

Darkhalo4321

NOOOO

like horror movie horror, or like scary movie parody horror?

SpazztastiKim

Yes

Superjustinbros

Oh dear, this is gonna be fun >:3

Kabocha

.... Elliot's our Canary, though sometimes the canary lives Tom's dead. I'm sorry. Becky will be scarred for life, but probably will be the one carrying the plot and making sure everyone survives. Allison... She will not be in the horror parts. She'll be the character that calls the cops at the end.

Superjustinbros

rip Tom.

RebelVampire

no all of you need to stop killing off tom

SpazztastiKim

Just straight up kill off Tom

RebelVampire

the next page of the comic is literally just a dagger flying through the window and stabbing tom in the heart

Darkhalo4321

I'm pretty sure I saw the next page, can confirm

Superjustinbros

oof

Darkhalo4321

tom actually falls backwards out of his chair and LANDS on a dagger. effectively killing him off. Then the comic ends. Tom was the danger ALL ALONG(edited)

Superjustinbros

Dear god

That's cold

SpazztastiKim

A twist to make m night shyamalan proud

Kabocha

Lol Justin if you believe that you obviously haven't read through this comic

RebelVampire

no no the comic continues. the wolf comes back and is like "bro i told you to starve it not kill it. youre under arrest. this is a sting operation"

Darkhalo4321

XD

SpazztastiKim

-wheeze-

Darkhalo4321

Elliot gets hauled off to DREAM JAIL

Mandi is denied visitation rights

Becky becomes his laywer

RebelVampire

then elliot becomes a dream defense attorney and has to prove his own innocence

becky would be a scary lawyer

like

i could just see her taking the floor and talking for hours

and her client is found innocent just cause the jury wants to go home

Darkhalo4321

She'd probably make a good case though-

Superjustinbros

@Kabocha Even if I did that's still pretty cold lol

Darkhalo4321

Jury: She talked for 5 hours, but... she wasn't wrong innocent!

Wolf thing : damn it!

SpazztastiKim

Ghost Tom: Language...

Darkhalo4321

Elliot: @#$% the establishment! throws a chair

Everyone just has the surprised pikachu face, after that!

SpazztastiKim

HA

Superjustinbros

That face is glorious

RebelVampire

at this point i think were just all drunk and have gone mad with power

SpazztastiKim

lol probably

RebelVampire

im really curious to see what happens at the farm festival tho. mostly just cause maybe nothing bad will happen and theyll just have fun. like go on a nice hay ride

that will not trigger unpleasant memories and not start a fire to the whole festival

SpazztastiKim

hay rides are included tho

Kabocha

Maybe we'll find out that they have a sleep study at the contest

erm

festival

Darkhalo4321

And then after it's been ALL good- and it's all fun and stuff-

Kabocha

why am I thinking contest

Darkhalo4321

THEN

Superjustinbros

Oh god what's happennig here now

Darkhalo4321

then it will go downhill

Kabocha

Yep. It'll be a hot mess. AND FREDDY RETUR--- wrong series

RebelVampire

id really want to see elliot in a sleep study now tho

just imagine the scientists face afterwards

as theyre like wtf are these readings

Superjustinbros

oh boy

Kabocha

"This boy never enters REM sleep!?"

RebelVampire

what is life

Kabocha

"How is he alive?!"

Darkhalo4321

Right?

my question exactly ^^^ lol(edited)

RebelVampire

elliot was the one to have never been alive to begin with. the whole mandy thing is him projecting

Darkhalo4321

it would explain why some scenes have her split off of him?

Kabocha

oh that would be a twist.

Two souls one body?

Darkhalo4321

THAT IS MY JAM

RebelVampire

i had considered that as a realistic possibility. or more that mandy is just an aspect of elliot's soul

SpazztastiKim

-watches with entertained glee-

Darkhalo4321

Oh maybe?

RebelVampire

http://lodestar.smackjeeves.com/comics/2704817/ch3-pg4/ off topic but i just noticed that computer has a pear on it and that makes me laugh

Darkhalo4321

Like the NICE version of who El is, and all the snark remained in the actual body

El is just Snark

that's it

TOM HOW CAN YOU

Superjustinbros

Shoutouts to Pear Products

mathtans

Sorry, called to crib. Have we talked about the title yet? With "lode"star? Is that like a metaphor for Elliot's powers, or something else?

RebelVampire

we have not talked about it.

mathtans

(As to explaining about the chosen one thing, the person with night terrors in town wasn't responding properly, so that's how Elliot ended up in town too.)

Darkhalo4321

We havent'

RebelVampire

i assumed it was a play on a lodestone

Darkhalo4321

I don't actually know about the title so much

PROBABLY

What is a lodestone?

RebelVampire

“A lodestone is a naturally magnetized piece of the mineral magnetite. They are naturally occurring magnets, which can attract iron. The property of magnetism was first discovered in antiquity through lodestones.”

Darkhalo4321

Hm

RebelVampire

elliot is the attracter of evil

Darkhalo4321

PROBABLY

el is an unlucky person

Kabocha

MAGNETIC SOUL

SpazztastiKim

poor kid

mathtans

Mandy being part of his soul is interesting. It reminds me, I liked in the first chapter how there were hints of her at times, and eventually it became clear.

Oh yeah, and I loved the Pear Computer, Rebel. Glad you remembered to mention it.

Yeah, I thought it was like lodestone, but being a star, maybe it's good somehow even though there's a burden involved.

RebelVampire

i liked the small hints but at the same time i was confused and wondered if he was communicating telepathically with becky XD

Kabocha

I'm curious to see where this all goes. There's not enough information to really like, get super crazy with fandom yet

mathtans

I did wonder where the thoughts were coming from.

Also, before the end, gotta mention the Becky and Ally ship. Those two can feed off each others' energy, it's sweet.

Darkhalo4321

they can power the entire town with their energy

RebelVampire

i will support the elliot/tom ship

Superjustinbros

Since the CTP is ending in a bit, thanks for the CTR, and thanks for the cool comic as well @SpazztastiKim, it was fun checking it out

mathtans

There you go. Can't ship Tom with his sister, after all.

Darkhalo4321

El == shippable with everyone honestly

mathtans

El is shippable with the wolf?

Darkhalo4321

...

SpazztastiKim

asdfghjkl

Kabocha

...yes

RebelVampire

yes

Darkhalo4321

I MEAN, as Friends?

Kabocha

BFFS

Darkhalo4321

El seems like he needs more FRIENDS

Kabocha

Anyway! Thank you Kim! I look forward to seeing where this comic goes~

Darkhalo4321

and boy and his aggressive wolf friend

mathtans

Wolf's name is probably Lodestar. Got it from a book.

Best with it, Kim!

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB END!

Sadly, this wraps up this week’s Thursday Book Club chat for now. Thank you so much to everyone for reading and joining us! We want to give a special thank you to SasstastiKim, as well, for making Lodestar. If you liked the comic, make sure to support SasstastiKim’s efforts however you’re able to~!

Read and Comment: http://lodestar.smackjeeves.com/

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[artificialqueens]

Hey (Trixya) - JJ

AN: Hi hello there this is my first-ever fic and I am freaking the fuck out but hey it’s 3:30AM and I have the rest of the night to regret every decision I’ve ever made.

Short lil’ Trixya thing I’ve had in my mind for a while now (even tho there’s barely any Trixie in it LOL). A lil' angsty. Mostly Katya-centric and Katya/Violet friendship-centric. Drag names are used but with male pronouns (except Violet, of course, has gender-neutral pronouns).

If people are interested I’ll do a follow-up.

I welcome (and would actually really appreciate) any and all constructive criticism, please!

Thank-you so much for reading!

XOXOXO,

~ JJ

“Okay… so… how long, EXACTLY, has it been since you last spoke to him…?”

  Katya sighed and refused to look at the computer screen where Violet’s no-doubt judgemental face could be seen.

  “I dunno. Little while. Not that long.” He dared sneak a glance and immediately regretted it as he was met with one of Violet’s admittedly perfect eye rolls.

  “Bitch you didn’t even wish him a happy birthday. The entirety of the Internet freaked the fuck out. I was surprised some dumbass hashtag wasn’t trending because of it. #RIPTrixya or something. #KatyaKilledTrixya. Endless possibilities.”

  “Hey!” Katya gasped indignantly, “Just because I didn’t wish him a public happy birthday on social media does not mean I didn’t wish him a happy birthday at all! I sent him a lovely text right at midnight.

  “And besides!” he continued, “Fans are so over-dramatic. We have a show coming out soon. How can anyone think we had a falling out. Jesus.”

  “You done yet?” Violet asked. Katya shot them an annoyed look.

  “I am just saying,” Violet continued, “that it’s a little suspish. And I mean, really? A text? Not even FaceTime or a phone call? Seriously, Katya, what’s wrong?” Violet’s voice betrayed their stone-cold bitch persona, genuinely concerned for their friend.

  Katya started to deny any reason for concern but stopped himself. Shoulders slumped and looking totally defeated, he looked away from Violet’s prying eyes and focused on picking a hangnail.

  “It’s hard now.” He whispered.

  “What’s hard?” Violet prompted.

  “My dick,” Katya replies instantaneously, always turning to humour when the things get a little too serious for his liking.

  “Katya I swear to God…” Violet sighs impatiently.

  “Okay okay sorry.” Katya giggles nervously, eyes darting all over the place.

  Silence.

  “Katya if you don’t start talking soon I swear to God I will—”

  “Okay!” Katya snaps, cutting Violet off. He takes a deep breath.

  “It’s hard now—”

  “You already said that.”

  “If you don’t let me finish I am ending this call right now.” Katya threatened.

  “By all means, continue.” Violet says, smirking.

  “It's… like… ugh! I don’t know!” Katya growls, frustrated.

  “Just do what you always do and let the word vomit happen. I’m sure I’ll catch the gist.” Violet suggests.

  “Okay. So. Like. You know how part of our whole dynamic is that ongoing joke about me wanting to fuck him and him always denying me? It’s fun, right? I always thought so. Going off on those tangents was always such a gas and one of my favourite parts of all my sets. But like. Lately I don’t find it so much fun. It’s like I feel sick every time I start and then I end up going off of my usual script and saying stupid shit like ‘I wish he were my boyfriend’ or something and JESUS. I don’t know. It makes me upset now. Like we’ve gone from ‘ha ha he’ll never fuck me but I’ll sure die trying!’ to ‘wow this is really never gonna happen huh I wonder why I’m not good enough.’” He finishes with a deep sigh and waits for Violet to respond. He fully expects for them to laugh and comment on how silly this was and tell him to just get over it and move on.

  What he’s not expecting is for Violet to remain quiet and stare intensely at what he assumes is his face on their screen. There’s a bit of something (excitement? hope?) in their eyes and Katya doesn’t know what’s happening. If it weren’t for Violet’s chest moving as they breathed he would have thought the connection had been frozen.

  “Vi? You gonna say something?”

  “You’re not done. I’m waiting for you to finish.” Violet replies quickly.

  “Um. What?” Katya asks lamely.

  “Your word vomit. You’re not done. There’s more. I’m waiting.”

  “No? There’s not?” Katya is desperately trying to figure out what’s happening but comes up blank.

  “Jesus Christ do not make me spell it out for y—” before they could continue, someone calls out Violet’s name and they look over their computer at whoever it is.

  “Listen, I gotta go. I’m up soon. Call me back when you figure your fucking shit out.”

  Before Katya can even begin to formulate a response, the call is disconnected.

  ***************

  Katya tries his best to go to sleep, but it turns out to be impossible. He keeps going over his conversation with Violet in his head, trying to make sense of it all.

  He sighs deeply and turns over in his bed, reaching for his phone. Normally, when he couldn’t sleep, he’d text Trixie a multitude of weird facts and random thoughts. The other man would usually be sound asleep but would always reply as soon as he woke up, usually with a simple “Katya what the fuck” before individually commenting on every text he received.

  Normally.

  But try as he might, Katya can’t bring himself to text Trixie. Hasn’t been able to for weeks now. It’s weird. He’s used to texting back and forth every day, even when they’re on opposite sides of the world. Sure, replies may be hours apart, but they still make it work.

  He wonders if Trixie realizes they haven’t texted about anything other than the necessary reasons (such as their upcoming show) for going on three weeks now.

  Probably not.

  Katya opens up their conversation thread and types a simple you awake?

  He quickly deletes it, sounding too much like a booty call.

  hey Tracy it’s your mom

  Delete.

  you would not believe what I saw this afternoon walking down my neighbourhood

Delete.

  are you still being a good person and honouring your NDA or can we talk about AS3 now

  Delete.

  I miss you.

  Delete.

  do you miss me?

  Delete.

  you know it’s weird it’s like I can’t breathe lately and I wonder if it has anything to do with us not talking ha ha ha

  Delete.

  do you realize how long it’s been since we’ve spoken

  I don’t really know how to live my everyday life when you’re not a part of it

  Jesus Christ do you even care

  fuck you

  I hate you

  Delete.

  Delete.

  Delete.

  Delete.

  DELETE.

  He turns his phone off and shoves it underneath his comforter, deep at the bottom of the bed.

  And suddenly breathing is very hard.

  He tries to catch a breath but finds it impossible. He realizes he’s shaking and tries even harder to calm down. It’s been a while since he had a panic attack. He’s not sure he even knows how to deal with a panic attack any more.

  Because he always calls Trixie whenever he thinks he can feel one coming on.

  But that’s not really an option at the moment.

  “Come on, Katya, put that fucking yoga training to use.” He tells himself, trying to take deep breaths.

  It takes a while, definitely much longer than in the past, but he finally manages to calm down. Well. His breathing is still shaky and his hands still tremble slightly, but at least it no longer feels as if he’s about to die.

  He turns his computer on, opens Skype, and hopes Violet is available.

  Violet Chachki is offline.

  Damn.

  He types a quick 911 in the chat box and, almost immediately after hitting “SEND,” hears the familiar tone of an incoming call.

  “What’s up, slut?” Violet greets him, a light teasing tone to their voice.

  “Figured it out.” He replies numbly.

  “Mmm figured what out?”

  Okay now they’re just being a little cruel.

  “That um. That. That I…”

  “…are stupidly in love with one Trixie Mattel and want to father his biologically impossible babies?” Violet offers helpfully.

  “Yeah that’d be it.” Katya whispers.

  “And what are you gonna do about it.”

  Katya snaps his head up so quickly it’s a miracle he doesn’t cause whiplash.

  “Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I am going to bury this deep deep DEEP down and never mention it ever.”

  Violet rolls their eyes.

  “So you came to this grand conclusion for what, exactly?”

  “Well now I know. So I can hide it.”

  Violet is about to reply when Katya cuts them off.

  “We have a show coming up, Violet. We’ve built this little niche together. We are a business. I can’t let anything get in the way of that. I can’t do that to him.” Tears prick at his eyes and he can feel his breathing becoming elevated once again.

  “Don’t you fucking dare freak out on me.”

  Well. That’s certainly a different approach from Trixie’s gentle comfort. But if it works it works.

  “Listen to me, Katya, because I am only going to say this once. You’d have to be fucking blind to not see the way Trixie looks at you. Like you hang the fucking moon. And yes I am aware of the fact that platonic love is very real and platonic soulmates are a thing but TRUST me when I say you two are so much more than that. It might’ve started out platonic, sure, but it has definitely grown into something so much bigger. You just weren’t ready. And now you are. So I am going to ask you one more time. What. are. you. going. to. do. about. it.”

  Katya takes a deep breath and lets it out, slowly and shakily.

  “Something really stupid,“ he replies.

  Violet grins.

  “That’s my fucking girl.”

  ***************

  Okay so in retrospect hauling ass to Trixie’s place at four o’clock in the morning probably wasn’t the best idea.

  But here he is.

  He’s been ringing the doorbell and knocking for the past seven minutes and is seriously considering just hunkering down against the door and sleeping until Trixie finds him later on in the morning when he hears his angry voice from the other side of the door, closer with every word.

  “I swear to God this better be a fucking emergency or if you’re here to murder me you better get it right on the first try because I am pissed the fuck off right now and could probably kill a man!”

  The door is swung open angrily.

  Trixie’s angry face quickly turns to one of shock.

  Katya smiles shyly.

  They stare at each other.

  “Hey.”

  “Hey.”

[igumdroppoop]

oh my god guys i literally just finished writing this sub blog and then i refreshed the page by accident and it all disappeared i can’t SO HERE WE GO AGAIN.... 

happy march guys! i had a long month of february and a lot to tell and share with you guys. i’m pretty sure you guys noticed that i spent a lot of time with my friends during that month, specifically with aria/joyce/celine especially. it’s probably because i started playing games more that we started hanging out more, and it’s honestly really funny when we get together because it seems like four degenerate girls in a slice of life anime just exploring life together and messing around together and yeah LOL. here’s a picture of when we walked in the rain to get fried chicken and finally got it after a long and hard road battle...

other than celine/aria/joyce, i’ve been hanging out a lot with albert too! we’ve just been streaming together a lot and if you guys saw, we did a cooking stream together where we assigned eachother a recipe that we had to impromptu follow. i gave him pork roast from shokugeki no soma which he tried to recreate and here is the expectation VS reality: 

LOOOL. it was pretty funny and annie’s reaction to tasting it was the most wholesome thing ever. you guys probably don’t see much of annie because she’s so busy with school but she’s like my older sister who always cheers me up when i need it the most and i love her so much...she also literally takes care of my wounds (on thanksgiving i peeled some of my finger off and she wrapped it up for me and made me a homemade ice pack) 

janet’s surprise birthday party was also in february! i’m sure you guys have seen this picture already but just in case any of you haven’t~ 

it’s crazy because only a year ago, i remember shitting my pants going to the offline tv house to play mafia because i was so nervous if we would all get along or not. and only a year later i feel like all of us have been through so much together that we really trust and love eachother like a big family. 

anyways, now to the *real* part... i spent a lot of february not alone and in the company of my friends. and i was debating on not sharing this with you guys, but anybody who isn’t lazy enough to type in the password and read this subblog probably does care a lot about me so i want to share you guys to why february was a harder month for me. i fell into a deep dark hole of internet hate last month and even though it started with just a few mean youtube comments, i dug deeper and started reading mean reddit threads and hateful anonymous comments and even anonymous DMs. before last month i kinda always knew that this hate existed, i just never bothered to read them or put my attention onto them. idk how it happened but it did, and before i knew it i was in really dark place.

people would be calling me spoiled, ugly, not deserving to live, a fake bitch, telling me i should kill myself, and above all those trolls there were serious people too who were messaging me in their disappointment in me, along with just a lot of false assumptions about me...i always thought i had thick skin and that those things wouldn’t bother me which is why i never read them, but some days you’re more sensitive than others, and i guess it just hit me during the wrong time. this made extremely insecure, and at one point i even started to believe the things that people were saying about me and it made me hate myself even more. it was hard for me and it really made me feel like i was letting everybody down in my life when that wasn’t the case at all. 

after that i was super self-conscious about all my actions and whatever came out of my mouth. it was hard for me to stream because there are literally people who are watching my stream at ALL times just waiting to clip a moment that shows me being “violent”, “spoiled”, a “fake bitch”...i was kinda scared and it was super hard to sleep too

that’s why i spent a lot of time with my friends last month because they did really make me feel safe. since all my closest friends are in the public image as much as i am if not more, i really felt understood and secure being with them. and guys, honestly, that month was really hard for me but it made me so so so much stronger. i have really changed my perspective to know and believe that i really can’t please everyone, and i need to work to make ME happy and nobody else especially not a hater on the internet. it made me appreciate all the people who were always there for me (you guys, my friends, family) and i realized all the attention i give to negative haters should be given to all my loved ones instead. 

i also wanted to thank you guys, who always sent me such supportive messages and any of you who watched my stream whenever you could in your free time. guys, don’t get me wrong, the supportive messages always meant a lot to me, but after reading so many hate messages, seeing a sub just sending me a message of support in my chat just made my HEART SO FUCKING WARM!!! i fucking love you guys. AND I AM OVER ALL OF IT NOW!!!! AND I AM BACK STRONGER!!! HELL YEAAAA JAIME THICKER SKIN +10 POINTS IN LIFE BITCHES!!! what doesn’t kill u makes u stronger

ANYWHO!!! look what anna (nakoini) sent me!! SO CUTE!! 

okay honestly not gonna lie after i wrote all of that (twice) i’m pretty tired and have no idea what else to write in this entry... OH! here are my goals for this month: 

♡ workout consistently

♡ get better at league 

♡ incorporate more games onto my channel 

♡ spend more time with my community

with that being said, i’ll be bringing back anime/movie night! i was thinking of doing them on fridays at 5pm PDT. i’ll talk more about the time on stream, but yeah everyone always requests for them so let’s do that more. 

also wanted to tell you guys that because i’m going to be streaming league more, you’ll probably see a bit of a change in my community/chat... i don’t think it will be a bad change, but i checked my analytics and already just from streaming league of legends the past week, more of my viewers watch league more than they do just chatting.. isn’t that crazy? it’s only by 3% but still HAHA. 

and i’m aware that i’ll have a drop in viewership while i invest more times in games, but to be honest with you guys i couldn’t sustain a healthy balance for myself constantly doing IRL. and also league makes me have so much fun right now and it’s a game i seriously want to keep on playing! and don’t worry, i was never really one to care too much about viewership, as long as my chat is happy and i’m happy fun i still absolutely love streaming. if you told me a year ago i could have even more than 300 viewers playing league i’d be so happy HAHAHAHAH. but whose to say i won’t change my mind next month hehe, life is always kind of a search for balance. this month i’ll be spending a lot more time on my stream and community at the sacrifice of spending time with friends/family but that’s completely okay since i spent so much time last month rekindling those. <3 

and to get into the healthy habit of being proud of our achievements even if they are small, here’s my list for the month of feb! and feel free to share them with me while i’m streaming, i absolutely love hearing your guys’ little achievements even if they’re small. 

♡ i’m pretty sure if friendships had a grade, i got 100% A+ last month for all my friends <3 

♡ got through a rough month with an advantage after (a stronger mental and appreciation for my loved ones) 

♡ my uber rating went up to a 4.8 LMAO 

♡ learned four new cooking recipes 

ok.. as you can see my month was not very successful BUT.. i have my own personal list of things i am going to work on too! and from what i’ve learned from being in the public eye and having a magnifying glass on me: 

your life is YOUR life, and nobody is in the position to tell you what to do with it. you decide what you wanna do for yourself, and those who support and love you will support and love you, and those who don’t shouldn’t stop you from doing what you love or doing what makes you happy. 

[kakahut]

2018, a very long update

Shanghai life is incredibly intense and stressful as I didn’t even have the desire to write about anything. The only new year resolutions I have is to lose a bit weight, so I am on a interesting diet now, so far, I feel pretty accomplished.

A lot happened since I updated last time. I  reconnected with Will, went to India for Medha’s wedding, had a blast experience of traveling and looking around the world. I felt so grateful that I made the decision of leaving the US, so I could have had  the chance to have everything I have right now. Best friend (Catiah), interesting new people ( all types of humans I met) and great adventures. Although I felt a bit depressed as my job is not going as well as I thought it could be, I am still able to make a living and feel peaceful most of time.

I am loved, by many people. Artie’s visit last week is very refreshing. I met him when selling my humidifier a week before I left Cambridge. We instantly liked each other and decided to keep the friendship. I was so happy he actually decided to come to visit me in China just 1 month after I left. Some people just do what following his heart. 

I introduced him to my besties and my dear family in Shanghai, Catiah and Tony. We had a great house party together with Strikingly’s co-founder Teng. We talked a lot about politics, life and philosophy. etc. And played with Catiah’s new game. Artie’s life in developing countries and his education received in Harvard amazed both my friends and myself. What a brilliant young man of my age! I feel refreshed, as I felt the zombie like Shanghai life is eating my body, and I need someone who comes afar to give me something new.

Gay bar experience with Artie was also amazing. There were a bear bar upstairs doing opening just when we arrived. I never knew that there could be that many gay guys in China, and a lot bears aka pandas. Except almost poisoned by fake tequila, I had a blast. I definitely remembered time I spent in Philly in gay bars with Min and a lot good gin and tonics.

Dating is still kind of tough, I was on and off Tinder, connected with some people online while met one or two, but I was not really that into the hook up madness here. Just like Will said, Shanghai is way international than other cities in the US, you basically can find anything you want. But I really don’t know what I am looking for, as there is a huge gap between expact communities and local ones, for someone who is in between, I am even more confused.

I constantly met new guy friends, but still have not found anyone interesting enough to pursue or they are just not single lol. I met Dan, who also graduated from Upenn and lived there as long as I did, was “ fresh off the boat” to China, and still amazed with the culture shock and everything. I helped him to pick up Christmas gifts for his family and we probably gonna be pretty close friends. Alvin is someone I met in the alumni events back in September, he is an entrepreneur who has an education start up. I was trying to make him partner with my company, but was informed he is really good friend of our competitors. I really liked him as a person, Catiah said he might be a good fit. I tried to message him privately after our group events, but didn’t get really immediate response. Don’t have time to chase a guy wants to play hard to get, I read it as “ I am not interested in you”. I met JT 2 years ago in a party with Catiah, and he became pretty good friends with her so I had a chance to meet him couple of times last month. JT is a really talented independent artist and made some hit video projects online and he is “kind of a celebrity” if I use his words. As most artists and well achieved young man, his ego is so high sometimes it is kind of amusing. I just found out he has the same birthday with me and lived 2 blocks away from my place so I actually hate him less for that reason. Hmm, maybe Aries all thinks alike. Yefei is the CEO of an education company who I interviewed with to be his assistant. He sent his guy to pick me up with his Tesla when I arrived in Shanghai and I was flattered by his Chinese manner. He is 1 year younger than me but have been doing business for years in China. Although I didn’t end up working for him, I like to keep in touch with him. He is very different person from people in my circle and gave me perspectives of modern Chinese mentality as I have left for quiet a while.

Still, it is hard to make friends with girls for me. I only have Catiah, although Dil Dar is in town, she is always busy with her family and she just bought a new place. I also hang out with Yaxin, my old classmate back in Upenn, but no one is as close as Catiah. Maybe we are all competitors, as we are all single.  I don’t really quiet understand how women bounding with each other, and it is hard to find people who are as “ rude” as me I guess. I am glad that Felix and I made great balance and didn’t turn out to be another chaotic experience like Will and I. I think maybe cuz I am growing. 

Artie’s arrival encounter with Dan definitely brought back some memories in graduate school and some sense of American mentality. Artie is Asian Australian so the way he views Americans could be quiet different from an actual American like Dan. I like keeping a distance of my old life there while still not completely away from it. Compared to Will, I am not ready to give up everything I have learnt and experienced in the US.

I finally hooked up with someone this week. “ Finally” sounds a bit desperate but it is my journal so I don’t give a shit. We met on Tinder before Christmas, we were supposed to meet up that week but I had a long dinner with Catiah and Alvin so I didn’t make it. I deleted him ( or maybe he deleted me?) on Tinder and Wechat but I kept his Whats app. I was a bit surprised he actually texted me when he was about to come back to the city. As I was a bit frustrated by how unpromising people are on Tinder,  I am pretty open about any encounters. Yeah, call me desperate. Unlike most guys I met online, I like the way he flirted with me, a good balance between dirty and decent.  So I was pretty looking forward meeting him. As any first meeting offline, I was nervous that my expectation could be too high and the reality could be very the opposite.  I don’t know how guys feel but as a single woman who has stayed single for a very very very long time, I really don’t want to have another shitty dating experience.

I made a dress for this date when going to the market with Artie and tried to throw myself into a more classy manner to fit the Shanghai dating scene, looking hot and presentable. Single girls like me will not give up any chances to look stunning on a date because I do the typical casual American style during my work days. I put on my red dress,  my new golden earrings and my silver high heels,  and met him at one of my favorite cocktail bars in town. I felt great already even before I met him and I realized how efforts can help with the presentation of a new meeting. He is shorter as I expected, since I am not a girl who is really picky about height, it didn’t bother me that much. He is clean and well dressed, like most finance guys in town. I really like his shirt and I am still thinking about it. I also like the way he talks in English, he seems has the same accent like Chao, the typical European Chinese accent. 

I didn’t quite remember our conversations, I definitely talked too much. I can feel the chemistry during the meeting, so when he asked if I want to go to his place, I hesitated ( I am not sure if I am ready for it), but I agreed. We walked all the way back, in the beginning I was definitely uncomfortable in a new place looked just like a hotel and I was 95% sober. I showed him my art work and explained to him about my inspiration ( my crush on Eric) and he was just sitting there, enjoying my speech ( maybe a bit bored) and started to pull the knot on my dress. So I sat next to him, we kissed. 

Sex was passionate. He is a good lover. Not the best I had but definitely what I need. I was surprised I was not as excited as I used to be if I haven’t had sex for a while. The awkwardness after sex was obvious but not as obvious as it was with some past experience. His bed is huge and I realized he was not a cuddler. Although as a woman, I wish it could be more intimate but it is not something I could get disappointed. I don’t like to hug to sleep. He kissed me on my lips and on my forehead when he was about to sleep. I think that was sweet. 

It was hard not comparing any sexual experience with the one I had with Min, partially because it was the length and quality of our sex, and also a bit surprised he is a bit different with him. I am telling myself to be accepting something new. I couldn’t sleep well as usual, all kind of thoughts coming in and out, and for certain degree, it doesn’t feel real. 

I was pretty ready to leave fearing the fact I would be kicked out of the place ( well, he is a polite man who won’t do it directly), we made out again and couldn’t even stop making out. Somehow I wish, we could stay intimate for a while.

He didn’t text me the entire day. So am I having another fling? Maybe it is a kind of relationship only goes on the surface, and maybe because I am not ready. ( Probably I didn’t send people the right signal, therefore, not the right person.) 

Now I am thinking, one comment he made about me not taking other people to my place, “ why not?”. I couldn’t give him a legit answer. Why not? Because my ex boyfriend and I had an affair, because my ex ex boyfriend has a better solo place than my crowded room? Maybe, I don’t have a place. Just like he doesn’t have a place in SH. 

I couldn’t focus on work today just thinking about everything happened last night. It was too fast and too unreal, I started realizing I couldn’t remember most conversations we had better than the sex we had. 

When Catiah said I should start looking for guys I can potentially build a future together, I realized I didn’t actually think that much of it. Why things couldn’t just be as simple as I like you and you like me?

Now if I go back to that conversation I had with Min about choosing girlfriends and partners, I won’t be offended if he told me all these analysis.

I am a free spirit, maybe I am using up my youth. 

Did I have a good time? I did. Just go with the flow I guess. I was hurt by all the expectations people had on me and I had on them.

The entire day, only one song was stuck in my head, let it go. 

[snoobydoo]

1-150

who the fuCK (thank u tho

1. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU HELD HANDS WITH? - my little sister!2. ARE YOU OUTGOING OR SHY? - id be pretty outgoing if i didnt have social anxiety but yeah,, im shy af3. WHO ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING? - AAA DREN IS COMING OUT IN THE SUMMER!! Allynah will also be hanging out with us for a bit while theyre here, too!! im so excited to hang out with both of them oml4. ARE YOU EASY TO GET ALONG WITH? - id hope so ? idk tho5. IF YOU WERE DRUNK WOULD THE PERSON YOU LIKE TAKE CARE OF YOU? - theyd probably be drunk too but yeah i think so? id probably take care of them more fhgdhf6. WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE ARE YOU ATTRACTED TO? - man,, fuck if i know,,, everyone, really?

7. DO YOU THINK YOU’LL BE IN A RELATIONSHIP TWO MONTHS FROM NOW? - fuCK NO lmao,, id love to be but its unrealistic8. WHO FROM THE OPPOSITE GENDER IS ON YOUR MIND? - opposite gender dbdsfdhgdsf9. DOES TALKING ABOUT SEX MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE? - it depends, really?? on like who im talking to and how in depth it is? casual mentions of it are chill with me but if its very specific like,, things they like and/or have done before im,, im good dude10. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU HAD A DEEP CONVERSATION WITH? - fuck idk11. WHAT DOES THE MOST RECENT TEXT THAT YOU SENT SAY? - ‘HELLO ILY’12. WHAT ARE YOUR 5 FAVORITE SONGS RIGHT NOW? - oh shit uhh probably?? Someone in the Crowd from La La Land, Under My Skin by Jukebox the Ghost, I Know by Tom Odell (even tho it makes me Sad? ????), LGBT by Cupcakke, and We’ll Meet Again by Vera Lynn13. DO YOU LIKE IT WHEN PEOPLE PLAY WITH YOUR HAIR? - YES but i always feel super self conscious about it too oh boy14. DO YOU BELIEVE IN LUCK AND MIRACLES? - nah15. WHAT GOOD THING HAPPENED THIS SUMMER? - uhh i cant remember last summer very well rip but this upcoming summer Dren is coming out here for two weeks!!! and thats a v good thing B)16. WOULD YOU KISS THE LAST PERSON YOU KISSED AGAIN? - lmao N/A17. DO YOU THINK THERE IS LIFE ON OTHER PLANETS? - hell yeh but its not as advanced as we are/hope18. DO YOU STILL TALK TO YOUR FIRST CRUSH? - lmfao no i lost contact in like 3rd grade rip19. DO YOU LIKE BUBBLE BATHS? - i havent had one in years so im not sure?20. DO YOU LIKE YOUR NEIGHBORS? - yeah they all seem really nice but ive never met any of them21. WHAT ARE YOUR BAD HABITS? - Everything I Do22. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO TRAVEL? - ooh anywhere, really?? travelling seems so heckin cool. id love to go to Canada and Amsterdam and Italy n stuff,, just anywhere23. DO YOU HAVE TRUST ISSUES? - l m a o24. FAVORITE PART OF YOUR DAILY ROUTINE? - going to sleep25. WHAT PART OF YOUR BODY ARE YOU MOST UNCOMFORTABLE WITH? - everything26. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU WAKE UP? - dissociate and/or go back to sleep27. DO YOU WISH YOUR SKIN WAS LIGHTER OR DARKER? - eeh my skin is hella pale so if it was just a little bit darker thatd be chill B)28. WHO ARE YOU MOST COMFORTABLE AROUND? - uhh fuck idk probably Dren and Allynah?29. HAVE ANY OF YOUR EX’S TOLD YOU THEY REGRET BREAKING UP? - N/A lmao30. DO YOU EVER WANT TO GET MARRIED? - maybe?? im not sure31. IF YOUR HAIR LONG ENOUGH FOR A PONY TAIL? - yeah but some pieces dont fit in it32. WHICH CELEBRITIES WOULD YOU HAVE A THREESOME WITH? - no thanks my dude33. SPELL YOUR NAME WITH YOUR CHIN. - ksatre

34. DO YOU PLAY SPORTS? WHAT SPORTS? - im Super unathletic,, id like to play a sport but i dont. im struggling in p.e. lmao35. WOULD YOU RATHER LIVE WITHOUT TV OR MUSIC? - tv36. HAVE YOU EVER LIKED SOMEONE AND NEVER TOLD THEM? - haha yeah every damn time37. WHAT DO YOU SAY DURING AWKWARD SILENCES? - i just laugh or stay silent38. DESCRIBE YOUR DREAM GIRL/GUY? - okay this is gonna sound crazy but.. th- they Like Me Back,, i know, Whoa..39. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE STORES TO SHOP IN? - Target ?? it just feels really familiar for some reason,, prob bc i used to go there a lot as a child40. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO AFTER HIGH SCHOOL? - die41. DO YOU BELIEVE EVERYONE DESERVES A SECOND CHANCE? - no42. IF YOUR BEING EXTREMELY QUIET WHAT DOES IT MEAN? - i dont have anything to say, im having a panic attack, or im holding in whatever i want to say43. DO YOU SMILE AT STRANGERS? - yeah!44. TRIP TO OUTER SPACE OR BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN? - SPACE45. WHAT MAKES YOU GET OUT OF BED IN THE MORNING? - i dont lol46. WHAT ARE YOU PARANOID ABOUT? - everything, my dude,, everything47. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN HIGH? - no48. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN DRUNK? - yes49. HAVE YOU DONE ANYTHING RECENTLY THAT YOU HOPE NOBODY FINDS OUT ABOUT? - no? i dont think so?50. WHAT WAS THE COLOUR OF THE LAST HOODIE YOU WORE? - black51. EVER WISHED YOU WERE SOMEONE ELSE? - constantly52. ONE THING YOU WISH YOU COULD CHANGE ABOUT YOURSELF? - Everything?53. FAVOURITE MAKEUP BRAND? - lol fuck if i know54. FAVOURITE STORE? - already answered above ?55. FAVOURITE BLOG? - i like that one blog that posts unflattering pictures of cats (im not gonna tag them tho rgdgfsdf)56. FAVOURITE COLOUR? - yellow57. FAVOURITE FOOD? - peaches or coffee tbh58. LAST THING YOU ATE? - cereal59. FIRST THING YOU ATE THIS MORNING? - cereal60. EVER WON A COMPETITION? FOR WHAT? - no i dont think so61. BEEN SUSPENDED/EXPELLED? FOR WHAT? - nope62. BEEN ARRESTED? FOR WHAT? - nope63. EVER BEEN IN LOVE? - fuq that, idk64. TELL US THE STORY OF YOUR FIRST KISS? - n/a

65. ARE YOU HUNGRY RIGHT NOW? - no66. DO YOU LIKE YOUR TUMBLR FRIENDS MORE THAN YOUR REAL FRIENDS? - what is the difference tho,, if we mean online vs offline then yes my online friends are better but theyre still my Real Friends ya feel67. FACEBOOK OR TWITTER? - twitter68. TWITTER OR TUMBLR? - tumblr69. ARE YOU WATCHING TV RIGHT NOW? - no70. NAMES OF YOUR BESTFRIENDS? - Dren, Allynah, Grace, Eli, Allison71. CRAVING SOMETHING? WHAT? - nope72. WHAT COLOUR ARE YOUR TOWELS? - we have a lot of different colors72. HOW MANY PILLOWS DO YOU SLEEP WITH? - two73. DO YOU SLEEP WITH STUFFED ANIMALS? - no74. HOW MANY STUFFED ANIMALS DO YOU THINK YOU HAVE? - none75. FAVOURITE ANIMAL? - cats76. WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR UNDERWEAR? - im too lazy to check77. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? - vanilla78. FAVOURITE ICE CREAM FLAVOUR? - mint chocolate chip for sure79. WHAT COLOUR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? - black80. WHAT COLOUR PANTS? - red81. FAVOURITE TV SHOW? - the walking dead probably82. FAVOURITE MOVIE? - CAPTAIN AMERICA: TFA83. MEAN GIRLS OR MEAN GIRLS 2? - theres a second one?84. MEAN GIRLS OR 21 JUMP STREET? - ive never seen 21 jump street,, so mean girls85. FAVOURITE CHARACTER FROM MEAN GIRLS? - DAMIAN86. FAVOURITE CHARACTER FROM FINDING NEMO? - Squirt87. FIRST PERSON YOU TALKED TO TODAY? - n/a88. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO TODAY? - n/a89. NAME A PERSON YOU HATE? - m e90. NAME A PERSON YOU LOVE? - see #7091. IS THERE ANYONE YOU WANT TO PUNCH IN THE FACE RIGHT NOW? - ME92. IN A FIGHT WITH SOMEONE? - no93. HOW MANY SWEATPANTS DO YOU HAVE? - one pair i think?94. HOW MANY SWEATERS/HOODIES DO YOU HAVE? - two95. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? - if a musical counts, then Heathers. if not then i think how to train your dragon 2?96. FAVOURITE ACTRESS? - Lauren Cohan probably? idk97. FAVOURITE ACTOR? - andrew lincoln or chris evans98. DO YOU TAN A LOT? - nope99. HAVE ANY PETS? - YES i have four. three cats and one dog100. HOW ARE YOU FEELING? - sleepy101. DO YOU TYPE FAST? - yes102. DO YOU REGRET ANYTHING FROM YOUR PAST? - everything ??103. CAN YOU SPELL WELL? - fairly104. DO YOU MISS ANYONE FROM YOUR PAST? - yea105. EVER BEEN TO A BONFIRE PARTY? - we’ve had small parties with a little bonfire but ive never been to a BONFIRE PARTY,, i wish106. EVER BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART? -probably not107. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A HORSE? - uhhh i dont remember?? maybe?108. WHAT SHOULD YOU BE DOING? - i actually have no obligations right now,, thank god109. IS SOMETHING IRRITATING YOU RIGHT NOW? - me110. HAVE YOU EVER LIKED SOMEONE SO MUCH IT HURT? - yeah i have bpd111. DO YOU HAVE TRUST ISSUES? - this was already asked112. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU CRIED IN FRONT OF? - my brother i think113. WHAT WAS YOUR CHILDHOOD NICKNAME? - just? Kate? or i think Petuna was one too114. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN OUT OF YOUR PROVINCE/STATE? - yeah115. DO YOU PLAY THE WII? - we had a wii one time but i only used it like twice116. ARE YOU LISTENING TO MUSIC RIGHT NOW? - i was but then it ended and now its just silent and i didnt even notice.. im gonna change the song117. DO YOU LIKE CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP? - yes118. DO YOU LIKE CHINESE FOOD? - yes119. FAVOURITE BOOK? - perks of being a wallflower120. ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK? - i get paranoid yeh121. ARE YOU MEAN? - yeah122. IS CHEATING EVER OKAY? - no u piece of shit123. CAN YOU KEEP WHITE SHOES CLEAN? - no dgfsfs124. DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT? - infatuation, maybe, but not love125. DO YOU BELIEVE IN TRUE LOVE? - no126. ARE YOU CURRENTLY BORED? - nah this is keeping me busy127. WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY? - being included128. WOULD YOU CHANGE YOUR NAME? - im not sure? probably not129. WHAT YOUR ZODIAC SIGN? - sagittarius130. DO YOU LIKE SUBWAY? - sure131. YOUR BESTFRIEND OF THE OPPOSITE SEX LIKES YOU, WHAT DO YOU DO? - opposite sex,, and heck, if anyone liked me id doubt it and/or panic132. WHO’S THE LAST PERSON YOU HAD A DEEP CONVERSATION WITH? - idk but this was also already asked133. FAVOURITE LYRICS RIGHT NOW? - I wanna take you somewhere so you know I careBut it’s so cold and I don’t know whereI brought you daffodils in a pretty stringBut they won’t flower like they did last spring134. CAN YOU COUNT TO ONE MILLION? - i could but i dont want to135. DUMBEST LIE YOU EVER TOLD? - i dont remember136. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR DOORS OPEN OR CLOSED? - closed137. HOW TALL ARE YOU? - 5′6138. CURLY OR STRAIGHT HAIR? - i have curly hair139. BRUNETTE OR BLONDE? - im a brunette140. SUMMER OR WINTER? - summer141. NIGHT OR DAY? - day142. FAVOURITE MONTH? - october probably?143. ARE YOU A VEGETARIAN? - no but id like to try it some time144. DARK, MILK OR WHITE CHOCOLATE? - milk chocolate145. TEA OR COFFEE? - coffee but both are good146. WAS TODAY A GOOD DAY? - idk i just woke up147. MARS OR SNICKERS? - ive never had a mars bar so snickers?148. WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE QUOTE? - “you’re not a sad story. you are alive.”149. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS? - idk150. GET THE CLOSEST BOOK NEXT TO YOU, OPEN IT TO PAGE 42, WHAT’S THE FIRST LINE ON THAT PAGE?  - How can you use a topographic map to interpret information about an area?

thank u for these questions im sorry this post is so long dgdfgsffdquestions

[wazzuptonight]

New York, NY – With the Entertainment Industry revolving on a never-ending carousel; it’s the power players behind the scene that’s withstanding its uncertainty.  With that being said, Ladies and Gentlemen, I formally Introduce you to one of the most influential Industry heads in the biz, Ms  “Onyx”.  For the past 10 years, just about every name in the music and fashion industry has crossed paths with Ms. Onyx in one facet of the game or another. Publicist/ Manager/ Artist/ Songwriter/ and Executive Producers are just a few of the hats hanging in Ms. Onyx closet these days. While amassing an impressive track record, she has become one of the most sought after execs in Music with her keen ability to sniff out potential and nurturing it into stardom. It’s been powerful women like Onyx that is holding the game down as the industry undertakes a total shift in the face of switching from analog to digital streaming applications.

  It all began in early 2000 when Onyx arrived in Killeen on a mission to excel in the realm of entertainment. For those who may not be aware Killeen, Texas lies roughly 45 miles north of Austin and is considered one of the fastest growing entertainment hubs in Texas. Onyx noticed immediately upon arrival, the growing landscape for hip-hop was present; however, the field was untapped with talent in search of an identity. There at that moment, a vision was birthed thence giving way to a strong desire fueled by a passion for changing lives.

Vision without action is merely a dream. Action without vision just passes the time. Vision with action can change the world. ~Joel A. Barker

 Onyx went to work using the brick and mortar approach of setting goals to provide avenues and lanes for artist a priority.  One thing led to another and just like that a spark was ignited that would later mature into a movement. Deemed the last of a dying breed, Onyx personifies the true meaning of an A&R / Talent Scout / and Personality all in one. What better person to be considered an authority on the subject of the needs and concerns of the independent artist? The answer is simple, an artist. Onyx trials and tribulations as an independent artist can be accounted and attributed to dropping her own projects. Onyx scored commercial success with the hits, “Cut wit U”, and “Slow Wine” featuring TIa Evette which solidified her place on the R&B charts. However, its Onyx first love of educating and mentoring up and coming artist that draws close to her passion. In 2010, Onyx opened up a full-service Entertainment Conglomerate, equipped with a fully functional website www.queenofkilleen.com which serves as a one-stop shop for aspiring artist providing everything from music consultations to songwriting arrangements.  Greatness comes with a charge, and with that charge comes the challenge to go further and beyond.  

 Further and beyond can only explain the path that has led Onyx to her destiny. Somewhere along the path where many detour to complacency, Onyx holds it in the road with faith at the wheel. In 2011, through a leap of faith, Onyx created her very own online radio show, labeled the Cut after her hit “The Cut”. Through networking and connections, the show was later added to Jermaine Dupri’s Global 14 network and subsequently named Global 14|The Cut which she serves as Executive Producer alongside her co-host Goldenfleece. The rest is history folks! From Eric Bellinger, Dj Scream, Musiq Soulchild, and even the likes of R&B sensation JR Castro, Onyx has had the distinct pleasure of bringing superstars into our realm of reality. While utilizing the skills from her many guest and visionary pioneer Jermaine Dupri, Onyx is in a great space with an unlimited cap to reach epic milestones.  

From the ways things are looking for 2017, it would take a nation of millions to hold Onyx back. As the youngsters would proclaim in these days’, she is plain and simply referred to in many circles as the plug! Deservingly so, Onyx network is bound by an affiliation that runs deep and threaded from coast to coast. Besides being a member of the #1 record breakers in the nation (XSquaddj’s), Onyx also serves as the founder of ThePostUpShow = A newly formed pop up informative show which features live interviews from kids on subjects that kids like.  Wow, its concepts and ideas that keep Onyx one step ahead of her competition. Whether it’s interviewing the next up and coming artist, Producing a live show, or managing a hot roster of artist (Young Mayne).

Analyst predict the Music Industry will produce numbers exceeding 300 Billion for the 2017 fiscal year.  You can rest assure, Onyx will definitely stakes her claim as she continues to trailblaze with a passion that won’t be denied. ~ Renzo

Tune In Every Wednesday

Global 14| The Cut

Twitter || Instagram | Website

We caught up with Onyx in Las Vegas for an all access Interview

January 2017

WT: Who is Onyx? Where did your love for entertainment originate? Onyx: Ohio made, Texas raised.  For as long as I can remember I have always had a love for the Arts.  I’m sure my mother had a lot to do with that seeing as how she was a pageant winner and vocalist.  Although we never had a chance to meet, my grandmother was a model and activist during her time.  I grew up listening to a lot of Earth Wind & Fire, Stevie Wonder, Anita Baker, Nat King Cole and others alike. At age 4 I knew what I wanted to be.  I declared it by the way of a classroom speech at the age of 6 when asked, What do you want to be when you grow up?” Nothing has changed.

  WT: With the industry changing to a streaming format, where do you see the industry heading in the foreseen future?  Onyx: This might sound very vague but I truly just see it continuing to evolve and open more doors for the everyday Joe.  We have already learned that in some cases, you really don’t have to start off with any connections or ties for an opportunity anymore.  When I first began in promotions|marketing we had myspace and facebook was a year old.  I was hitting the pavement up and down the highway like crazy shaking hands…collecting cards.  I don’t have to do it as much as I did before.  It’s going to be more profitable to remain independent hence there are so many companies trying to get to their consumers and the labels just don’t have the same budgets like they used to.  They put it where it belongs and look more for a partnership.  These checks are rolling into the creator directly and they’re not bouncing.  What’s good for some will be a disadvantage for others.  You’re going to have to be multi-faceted but I don’t think us millennials are going to have any trouble with that at all.

  WT: What is a typical day like for Onyx? Onyx: Each day is different but what remains consistent is I’m a mother first.  My twin sons share the music, business, and sports gene so they are busy lol. Kirk Franklin Praise and Jeezy while I tend to the domestics, cooking, bills and a corporate hustle that requires weekly calls to tend to.  My background is Hospitality– Director of Catering and Global Accounts.  I put in a few hours a week to a separate gig remotely.  I have about 3 calendars I utilize to make a to-do-list before I rest, and when I wake up I reorganize the list based upon received emails, texts, or social media correspondence.  I have to check about 4-5 emails a day, multiple times.  We recently hired staff for the show so that cuts down on some of the technical sides but I carry the bulk load of the weight.  It just comes with the position.  

  WT: The number 1 advice you would give to independent artist out there today? Onyx: Set  goals. There really is no right or wrong way into the industry or any business for that matter.  Everyone’s journey is different.  Keep in mind goal setting often requires some research of some sort.  If we inform you that the music industry is a business then treat it as such.  Set a goal, then set another one.  Your goal may be to move to New York, find an investor, or protect your music.  If you find that something isn’t working for you, then try another way or another lane.  It’s so important to set goals so that you can work towards achieving it.   That’s 101.

  WT:  How important would you say the focus on one’s brand should play in building a musical career? Onyx: Your brand is everything. It should definitely be a priority when establishing your foundation as an artist, producer, or whatever the position of choice.  Licensing, publishing and corporate companies are great avenues to explore.  Take some time out to read up on marketing techniques, current trends, and take advantage of the easy scores around you.  The viral “challenges” though sometimes oversaturated, are a great loophole to gain some notoriety.  It’s up to you to keep it.  

  WT: 2014 SEA Internet Hustler of the Year, what an impressive honor; what made your plight different, and what did you do to stand out? Onyx:  Thank you so very much, winning the SEA Internet Hustler of the Year Award was truly an honor!  In 2013, I attended my first SEA conference.  That year I was pretty much at every music event trying to put a face to the show while spreading the word that we were based online! Don’t get it wrong, that didn’t mean we didn’t hustle when we were offline!  I wanted people to know I did it all and I knew many aspects of “the game.”  With the combined efforts of the heavy movement and power moves at the time, my nomination came about the following year.  I didn’t expect to be nominated or win, nor did I campaign regarding winning.  I take pride in that award, and I’m thankful that people saw exactly what I was doing. WORKING by any means necessary!

  WT: Tell us about Hosting Global 14 the Cut?  Your experience with working w/ Jermaine Dupri? Onyx: Executive Producer, I feel privileged to also Host Global 14| The Cut.  The Show was originally part of a station concept then later became the sole foundation. I created the show in Nov 2011 and named it “The Cut” in honor of my first promotional record that landed two radio stations within my area entitled “Cut wit U.”  I share the live stream with the other host Goldenfleece.  If a listener were to browse our archive, they might take notice that we were ahead of the wave in regards to today’s trends in urban media.  We base the show more on core journalism practices rather than any of the gossip, but we definitely make mention of those as they come about.  For me, it’s always about finding a balance. We’ve gone viral a few times but try to focus on our guest experience and their fan interaction.  My goal was to do something different.  I think we’ve been able to accomplish, and progress a little along the way.

  My experience with Jermaine Dupri comes thru his platform global14.com.  He allowed me the opportunity to utilize the brand while creating for my own betterment.  I don’t spend time with him during his day to day, but have always had his full support and encouragement from the beginning.  I like that he will congratulate, take notice, or s/o our small yet recognizable efforts. He’s an innovator and a visionary much like myself so it’s always nice to have affirmation that you’re headed in a dope direction from someone of his stature.  He’s clearly a living legend with many accolades.  It’s an honor to be able to open a few doors thru the strength of his reputation.I have the utmost respect and admiration for Jermaine Dupri and will forever be grateful for the encouragement he has shown me thru these years.

  WT: What’s your affiliation with X Squad Dj’s and US Dj’s? Onyx: I became a member within the Xsquadd Djs Coalition by way of a merger from Lucky of Indianapolis.  The CEO, Damel genuine vision and work ethic personifies greatness. The USDJS was founded by a man named Poncho who I’ve known for many years.  We were from the same city so the support was automatic, but my schedule didn’t permit me to fully engage in more than one coalition.  I support his company from afar, and he continues to do the same for me.  

  WT: Tell us about your artist Young Mayne? Onyx: Young Mayne is near and dear to my heart.  He is extremely talented and passionate about his craft.  Our delay with his career was mainly due to legal matters & decisions that led to incarceration.  My belief in Young Mayne ability as an artist is so strong that I set aside my love for singing to help him pursue our dream.  He’s my older brother so this talent thing really does run thru our veins, lol.  Young Mayne’s raw, but gritty Southern tone has an undertone that is musically influenced from pioneers such as Jay-Z, B.I.G, Scarface and the Legendary Tupac.   

  WT: What’s next for Onyx? Onyx: I’m literally headed for the Mogul status.  I wish I could speak on all of my projects but I don’t believe in presenting the floorplan until at least the ink is dry lol.  I currently offer services available by accessing my website or contacting me thru social media.  I’m a music professional and I often write articles/blogs pertaining to the areas of my expertise and more.  I just took on one of my younger brothers, Brandon Nichols, as a sports client.  He’s my first under division.  I’m still working on my own songwriting placement endeavors while developing my artist, and the radio show is headed towards new heights.  Mayne and I are actually creators of artwork as well.  I’m talking canvases, portraits, designs and more.  Another family gift among others we collectively share.  I do a lot, but I can’t yet speak on it all.  I hope I can circle back once it all comes to fruition and share more.

Onyx “Queen of Killeen” Gallery

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Wazzup Xclusive | The Making of A Mogul: Onyx ~ Queen of Killeen | @wazzuptonight New York, NY - With the Entertainment Industry revolving on a never-ending carousel; it's the power players behind the scene that's withstanding its uncertainty.