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unhealthyfanobsession · 4 years

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Master Post of things I wanted to post while reading ACOSF- mostly humour/ crack lol (Spoilers... Duh...)

First, general opinion: I liked the book generally. I knew it would be very Feysand friendly and I was prepared for that. Not my first choice but I get it. I really had to take a few hours off with the whole hiking scene. That really fucked with me to see Cassian so pissed and militant despite already knowing where Nesta was coming from and how betrayed she felt (ESPECIALLY once I learned that he had guessed they were mates already). I know that self loathing was a major theme but I do think it was laid on a little too thick for too long. I also think there was so much Nessian interaction when things were angsty and then when they were happy I was just WAITING for that full chapter of soft happiness and I feel like a lot of that got lost to Nesta’s relationship with her sister. Above everything though I gotta say that it BREAKS MY HEART that Cassian never actUlly says I love you to Nesta at any point in the book. I know it’s meant to be that he’s always loved her and it’s his actions that show it etc etc but it’s still kind of a blow for him to never say it... never even outright think it in his own perspective (go back and look the closest he gets is saying he’s acting like a lovesick puppy. We only get to see Cassian loving Nesta from her perspective as she realizes it which I get and is beautiful but maybe ONE DECLERATION THANKS). Anyway, I am hoping that opportunity arises in future books. Although.... I don’t think I will read the future books. Maybe I will, but honestly this was just SO MUCH. Like... I think there was too much in the book. Each of these quests could have been its own book and I was happy to keep going because I’m obsessed with Nesta, but I just don’t think I’d be interested enough in the other characters to read something so convoluted again (like I’m sorry the blood rite started with basically 100 pages left that is WILD). It was also so clear that so much of this book was setup for future books and that’s fine but it was kinda messy just being honest. ANYWAY onto more specific thoughts/ jokes:

Chapter 2:

Cassian: I just hope that Nesta knows we are doing this for her benefit, because we care.

Feyre: I don’t care this shit ends now. I’m burning your apartment to the ground.

Also Cassian: *Let’s Nesta fall down a flight of stairs*; *calls Nesta pathetic every day*; *tells Nesta everyone hates her*; *walks around slamming doors all pissy as if he’s the one being held captive*

Chapter 11:

Nesta:Rhysand is an asshole

Me:

Cassian: well everyone fucking hates you

Me:

The way that Cassian thinks about Russet Potato is just straight up not healthy. Like I get looking up to a sibling or whatever but I’m starting to think that Rhys is Cassian’s one true love. Cassian being THAT blind to every one of Rhysand’s flaws is a character flaw of his own. Even Feyre isn’t THAT blind.

Chapter 11 Pt 2:

Nesta from day one: I’m not training in that camp. I hate that camp. I’m not training there. Fuck that camp

Cassian: this is because you hate me, isn’t it?

Me:

Like I’m sorry did we really need Feyre to show up to help him crack that code???

Chapter 10 (and beyond):

My OTP? Nesta and the House of Wind.

It’s a solid enemies to lovers story (chapter 6 she says even the house hates her then later it’s her only friend and ally. Great love story.)

It reveals its heart to her before Cassian does

It knows what she needs

Gave her water on the steps instead of watching her fall down them

Pushes Nesta gently by keeping the fire so Cassian can see that she is afraid and haunted instead of empty and broken. Encourages her to go to dinner with people by barring the library but doesn’t FORCE her to go. The house does not judge her.

Spoils her and is silly with her while she has her sleepover.

Takes an active interest in something important to her and shares one of her hobbies

Side note- this book even has me pissed at the IC about how they treated a damn house!! Like how dare they say no one likes going there! How dare they be so rude to my new #1 favorite book character??? The house just wants to give you cake and books and run you a bath. Perfect partner IMO.

Chapter 17:

Me when Cassian does the bare fucking minimum and tells Rhys to calm the fuck down and stop threatening to kill Nesta:

Chapter 21:

When Rhys said that Nesta always has a choice here I said, out loud, “that’s fucking rich rice ball”. My dog looked up. That’s all.

Chapter 21 (and beyond) pt 2:

Prythian: mating bonds are very rare

Archeron sisters: survey says that was a lie

Prythian: fae fertility is very difficult. Conceiving can take decades

Archeron sisters: survey says that too was a lie

Prythian: No High Fae can survive the birth of an Illyrian winged baby

Archeron sisters: once again, the survey is not on your side here

Chapter 42:

Rhys: this is a bad idea

Cassian: that should be written on the Night Court’s crest

Me, wine glass raised to mouth, scoff more bitter than necessary: yeah it Fucken should”

Chapter 42 pt 2:

Yknow I was genuinely shocked by one thing in ACOSF. I was shocked that Rhysand and I agree on something.

He absolutely fucking shouldn’t be High King.

The mere SUGGESTION that Nesta’s power and fight and trauma and depression and war and entire FUCKING STORY has all been so that Rice cake and French fry can be a high king and queen literally set my blood BOILING at exactly the point in the book that I was starting to VIBE

Side note- Can we please just Fucken stop with the stars blinking in and out of existence in Rhys’ eyes. Like calm down. Rice pilaf has purple night eyes we get it. Just like... simmer please.

Chapter 46:

I GET that it shouldn’t have come out like that and that Nesta’s reasons weren’t right, but get ABSOLUTELY FUCKED RHYSAND for thinking that it is your right to HIDE THE DANGERS OF LABOUR FROM A WOMAN WHO DOES NOT KNOW YOUR SPECIES!!! This had me truly wildin and I think it was a disservice to Feyre’s character too that she didnt lose it more.

Chapter 55 (and earlier):

Cassian: *bows to death as Nesta emerges from the black depths on a throne to rule her undead armies*

Cassian: *watches bleeding as Nesta plucks the harp and wields her Made sword of death to murder Lanthys and claim the ability to stop time itself*

Nesta: So, now I go after the crown

Cassian:

Chapter 57 (and earlier):

Kelpie: You shall be my bride before you are my meal

Helion: *rides enchanted horse up to shoot his second shot with Nesta*

Lanthys: Tries to seduce Nesta into being his Queen even as he attempts to kill her

Eris: I’ll give you anything in exchange for Nesta as my bride

Cassian watching every male being in the universe trying to get with his mate:

Chapter 60:

Emerie: we’re not entering the blood rite, are we?

Cassian: Only if you want to

Brialynn:

Chapter 80:

Nesta: *Saves Cassian’s life in the war*

Rhys: I still hate you and will never forgive you for what you did in not hunting as a child.

Nesta: saves Feyre and Nyx

Rhys: I bow before no one and nothing but my crown and now I shall fall to my knees before you oh mighty saviour queen of all

Side note- can someone please compile a list of all the things that Nesta Archeron had done/retrieved/gone through for the Nigh Court because that shit is astronomical at this point and I really need everyone to start sipping their Respect Nesta Archeron Juice RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!!

Anyway I’m emotionally wrecked but shoutout to anyone who made it this far into my ramblings!

#nessian #acosf spoilers #a court of silver flames spoilers #a court of silver flames #nesta archeron #cassian #anti rhysand #a court of thorns and roses #nesta and cassian #a court of mist and fury #nestaxcassian #sarah j maas #a court of wings and ruin #acotar

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taylorinthetardis · 4 years

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Wallflowers - A Henry Cavill x Reader fic

So I did a thing! Rather than continue to work on my larger, more complicated Pride and Prejudice fic, I decided to make a fanfic out of the fantasy I had at work the other day!

There will most likely be a part two to this, I just thought I was at a good stopping point and wanted to see what you guys thought about it.

Full disclosure: I didn’t mean for this to whole ass turn into a Bath and Body Works ad, but it kinda did. For those of you reading in countries that do not have Bath and Body Works, its basically just a body and home care store. In the US their scents are legendary. Pretty much every young girl went through a BBW phase where that was all they used for soap and perfume. That all being said, in the interest of further disclosure and covering my ass, I own neither Bath and Body Works nor any of the trademarks on the scents listed herein. I also do not own Henry Cavill because owning human beings is a crime.

This is my first Henry fic so be gentle with me! It’s a bit longer than I had anticipated and un-beta’d.

Warnings: just a lot of fluff. some self-deprecation. loads of swearing. don’t know if I should warn for slight bashing of the religious but I will anyway so no one gets mad at me.

Wallflowers

It was shaping up to be another boring ass day at Bath and Body Works. I had started working here during the Pandemic after I was laid off from my job at the movie theatre. I had planned on it only being temporary, but even after things got better and I got my theatre job back, I decided to stick around. What can I say; a bitch is broke. Nothing wrong with double-dipping.

There was something about Sunday mornings in the mall. Probably because people around here still went to church in the mornings. Like it matters. Sunday mornings are always so slow, here and at the theatre, but the day always picks up after 1, when morning church services finish. It was me and Samantha up in the front room this morning, working out the leftover boxes from yesterday’s shipment. She was one of the first people I really bonded with here, both of us being super into both Marvel and DC, specifically Sebastian Stan and Henry Cavill. They had just started filming the next Superman movie and they were going to be shooting scenes up in Michigan again, like they had for Dawn of Justice.

“I’m just saying, we should really consider asking for a few days off and just going up there and scoping it out. I mean, it’s Henry fucking Cavill. He’s less than an hour away from us. Right now. Less than an hour. When is that ever gonna happen again? I can use some of my vacation time at the theatre, so at least I’m not missing out on money from them. It’ll be a blast. I mean, what’s the worst that can happen? We don’t see him? I mean at least we’d have tried. I’d rather try than stay down in stupid Ohio with the knowledge that he’s that close.”

“Do you really think Ann’s going to give us time off to stalk Superman?”

“We ain’t gonna tell her what it’s for! Just lie, c’mon now.” I laughed. I dropped a box of Gingham body cream into the understock drawer and broke the box down. Out of the corner of my eye I caught movement, oh goodie, a customer. Samantha was quicker to greet them.

“Welcome to Bath and Body… OH MY GOD!” I turned around and was met with the sight of none other than Henry fucking Cavill, sheepishly running his hand through his now jet-black curls, obviously embarrassed at having been recognized. Damn, am I glad I put make-up on this morning. Alright Y/N, this is your fucking chance. For once in your damn life, be fucking cool. You can do this. You look good, you smell like Champagne Toast, you’ve got this. I pulled my hair down from its messy bun and shook it out a bit before walking over to where Samantha was still trying to collect herself. The store radio started playing Halsey’s Bad at Love and I had to bite my lip to stop myself from bursting out laughing at the absurdity of the situation we were now in. Not five minutes ago we were talking about seeking him out and now here he was in all his brick-shithouse-ness. I looped my arm through Samantha’s in a show of support.

“What a wonderful coincidence! We were just talking about you and now here you are! It’s crazy how the universe works, isn’t it? I’m Y/N, this is Samantha; what can we help you with today, Henry?” I smiled my most adorable smile at him, the one that makes my little cheek dimple pop out, and, honestly, they both looked shocked. Samantha was clearly surprised that I was more capable of speech than she was, and to be honest so was I, and Henry seemed shocked that I would openly admit that we had been talking about him before he got there, which probably wasn’t a great thing to say, but I panicked.

“Well, I was told this was the best place to go for candles and air freshener-y type things. The house I’m renting just has this odd odour that I can’t get rid of. I’ve been airing it out during the day, all the windows open, and I come home and it still smells funky. I know I could just find a different place, but it’s close to a park and that’s been nice for Kal and I don’t want to make a fuss, so…” Henry sort of shrugged, the buttons on his plaid shirt straining with the movement of his broad shoulders, and gestured around the store as if to say “that’s why I’m here”.

“Well, you’ve definitely come to the right place. All of our home care is in the second room, grab a basket, I’m sure we can find you some scents you’ll like.” He walked over to the basket tower to grab one as a couple more customers walked in. Samantha nudged me towards the second room; I was going to have to handle Henry alone for now, it seemed. He followed me over to the Wallflower wall. “So, these are our Wallflowers. They’re sort of like the Glade Plug-ins, I don’t know if you’ve seen those, you plug this diffuser into any power outlet and screw the fragrance bulb in and it diffuses the scented oil into the room. They last for about a month or so. These’ll probably be the best option for you, well these and maybe a room spray or two to start with. The candles are good, but obviously the scent is gonna be strongest when they’re burning and it’s probably not a great idea to light a bunch of candles and then leave for the whole day.”

He chuckled. “No, I’d say you’re right about that. I definitely don’t want to burn the place to the ground. Are there any scents that you’d recommend?”

“Well, I mean, it obviously all depends on your personal preferences. I like sweet scents. I like my space to be smelling like a bakery or a candy shop at all times, so I tend to go for anything like that. We actually still have some of our holiday scents that we’re trying to get rid of and there’s this really great one in that line called Spiced Apple Toddy. It smells like apple pie. I love it. It’s only out during fall and winter so I stocked up. I need it all year long, honestly. I still have so many other scents at home, but like I’m probably never gonna get sick of it, for real, it smells so good. Or I might go every other month swapping between that and Black Cherry Merlot because that’s awesome too. And then there’s Champagne Toast, I mean, that one might be a bit too feminine for you, but I love it. It’s sweet and just a tiny bit citrusy. I can’t do any of the floral or like, outdoorsy scents, they set my allergies off. And honestly there’s some of these that I smell them and I’m like, who is putting this in their house? Like, what nutjob thinks this scent is good? How many people have senses of smell that are this screwed up?” At this point I was rambling, talking excitedly and with my hands, handing him testers to smell and trying to gauge his reactions to know what to hand him next. He didn’t have any bad reactions to anything I gave him until I handed him the tester for Fresh Balsam. His nose scrunched up in the most adorable way and he very carefully set the tester down on the counter as far from him as he could manage. He handled my word-vomit good-naturedly, with a small smile on his face, nodding and chuckling when he thought something I had said was funny. Our fingers brushed a few times as I handed him the testers and after the third time, I began to feel like it was deliberate on his part, but it couldn’t have been, could it? He couldn’t really be interested in me. He’s Henry Cavill. I’m just, well, I’m just me.

Me, with my two minimum wage jobs, still living with my parents, inching ever closer to 30 years old. Why would he want any of that? Why would he be interested in me physically either? I mean, he’s literally flawless and I’m short, overweight, I eat like shit, I don’t exercise, hell, I barely know how to put on make-up correctly. Yeah, I look good today, but that’s not par-for-the-course.

He put a few each of Cinnamon & Clove Buds, Black Cherry Merlot, Limoncello (for the bathrooms, he said), and Laundry Day (for the laundry room, obviously) in his basket along with enough of the plugs so he’d have one in each room. He also grabbed a Black Cherry Merlot and a Limoncello room spray off the shelf next to the Wallflower display before turning back to me. “So then, where do you keep this Spiced Apple Toddy that you like so much, or did you hide them so you could have them all to yourself?”

I chuckled nervously and ran my hand through my hair, sort of disbelieving that he was actually paying attention to what I had said. Boys never listen to me when I talk, I always have to repeat myself, but I guess that’s because I usually end up talking to the dumb ones. Henry’s not dumb. He really is just fucking perfect, isn’t he? Pretty and he listens? That shouldn’t be such a difficult combination to find, but for me it had been. “They’re on the table over here with the rest of our leftover Christmas stuff. Hopefully the tester is still there somewhere.” I put my hands in my apron pockets and I could feel the jolt of confidence I had had just minutes before leaving my body. His charm had worn me down, bringing me back to my normal, anxiety-ridden self. I caught the toe of my boot on the corner of one of the other tables as we walked towards the center of the room. I stumbled, but before I could fall his arm was already out to steady me, wrapping around my waist to keep me upright.

“Are you alright Y/N?” A look of genuine concern was on his face and I swear to God I swooned. Like, fuck, I just stubbed my stupid toe, it’s not that serious. I mean yeah, I stubbed my toe and then almost fell into a table covered with candles in glass holders, but like, I didn’t fall, you caught me, please stop looking at me like you care. You can’t give me that much hope. It isn’t fair. And goddamnit I love the way my name sounds coming out of your mouth. Like, fuck it’s never sounded so good. This isn’t fair, why is this happening?

“Yeah, Henry I’m fine, just a stubbed toe. Thank you for…you know.” I gestured down to his arm, which was still around my waist. The sound of me bumping into the table drew the attention of the rest of my co-workers, however, who were now coming out of their various positions to see what was going on and to make sure no one had broken anything. Samantha popped her head in from the front room and Kelynn and Mira came out from the cashwrap with Pilar and walked to the edge of the third room to peek in. All they saw was me, blushing profusely, with Henry Cavill’s beefy-ass arm still wrapped around my fucking waist. “Everything’s fine guys. I promise.”

“Holy shit, is that…”

“Mira!”

“But Kelynn that’s fucking Superman!”

“You can’t cuss in front of him Mira, he’s a customer!”

“Will you guys cut it out? You’re embarrassing us in front of the hunky British dude!”

“Hey, I’ve got an idea. How about we all pretend like this isn’t happening right now? Pilar can go back to the cashwrap, you two can go back to whatever it was you were doing, and I’ll go back to what I was doing, namely making a damn sale!” I extricated myself from Henry’s grasp so I could shoo them back towards the cashwrap. They turned and walked away, bewildered looks on their faces. I turned back to Henry who was shifting awkwardly from foot to foot, clearly uncomfortable. He cleared his throat and ran his hand through his curls, leaving them messier than they were before. An errant one fell over his forehead and I wanted to brush it out of the way, but he just left it.

I walked over to the table that I was originally heading for and found the Spiced Apple Toddy Wallflowers. There wasn’t that many left, but there was still a tester. I grabbed it and spun around to bring it to him, assuming he hadn’t followed me, but as I turned, I found myself going face first into his massive chest. I put my unoccupied hand up to steady myself and pushed on his chest to force him back. He was just too close. Why was he so close? He opened his mouth to say something but I beat him to it. “Here. This is what I have in my bedroom right now, this is Spiced Apple Toddy.” Oh god, why did I say it like that? The one I have in my bedroom. Jesus Christ. He quirked his eyebrow at me and cocked his head to the side, smirking a little. Instead of taking the tester from me, he took my much smaller hand in his, guiding it up towards his face so the tester was close to his nose. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. A serene smile spread across his face and I felt my face get hotter. He opened his eyes, looking down into mine. Fuck I could drown in those ocean eyes.

“Oh, I like that very much. You were right. I think that one’s my favourite.”

#henry cavill #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill x reader #my first henry fic #fluff #unintentional bath and body works ad #be gentle

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lovelyirony · 4 years

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Hello. I'm having kind of a shit day ( just found out my sister's hair was full of lice) so if you wouldn't mind could you write some thorbruce? Sorry if this bothers you, I hope you and your family are doing ok

this could never bother me. I hope that this little story helps! i really wanted something comedic, or at least my attempt at it. so without further ado...a fusion of a thief AU and royalty AU!

Bruce Banner technically has a career as a scientist. He writes research papers occasionally, helps out with other science projects, and wears smart, science-y glasses.

And so what if he just happens to make most of his money stealing rich people things like paintings, wine, and other assorted items off of boats and out of houses? Well, that’s extra. Doesn’t even go on any tax forms.

“You’re gonna get something done to you one of these days,” Tony tells him over margaritas. Tony is one of the rare people who caught him, let him still take the Warhol because “I sure as hell didn’t pick it out, I have taste,” and invited Bruce for cocktails.

“Of course I am. Maybe jail.”

“No, not that,” Tony says. “You forget I will be offering my lawyers. They could get the devil himself scot-free. And you’re way better than that guy.”

“Then what?”

“You’re going to have to balance yourself,” Tony says, smiling. “And I can’t wait to see you pull it off.”

Bruce wishes he had more friends like Tony, because unfortunately both Jane and Helen have texted him that he’s screwed for his next goal: Odin.

Odin is a king who made his whole goal to cover up the shady dealings of his reign, and while his sons are doing better to call it out and bring about new policy ideas now that it is said that Odin will be retiring from the throne, so to speak, nothing has changed yet.

Bruce knows that people say the next king in line, Thor, is very similar to his father.

So he’s planning on infiltrating a party. This involves getting a planet ticket to Asgard, sneaking in, and maybe also leaving by boat. He’s not sure yet, depends on how quickly Tony can engineer a self-steering boat.

(The boat’s gonna be there.)

“You’re gonna get your ass kicked,” Helen snickers over drinks. “Have you seen his arms?”

“I’ve heard your ramblings about ten or twenty times, yes,” Bruce says. “For someone who loves their wife as much as you do, you also have an interesting love for Thor’s arms.”

“They’re buff!” Helen protests. “Jane also nice arms, but they are not buff.”

“Guilty as charged,” Jane says from the kitchen, rolling her eyes. “Bruce, be careful. And for the love of god, don’t talk to any of them if you can.”

“Like I would.”

Thor is very bored with present society. His father has banned all of his friends from attending, Loki has decided to go on their own way in as outrageous of a dress as they could find, in any case guaranteeing that their mother’s attention would be focused on making sure that they had the right accessories.

There is not one interesting person to talk to.

Thor is bored.

This means Thor isn’t so much as paying attention to any sort of conversation and has found one new guest that he has never met before.

“Hello,” he says.

The man whirls around. He has curly, nearly-messy hair. Nice nose.

“I don’t think we’ve met before,” Thor says. “I’m Thor.”

“I’m Bruce,” Bruce blurts out, because he is a Class-A Idiot.

Of course he gets caught at a royal function.

“And you haven’t met me before. I’m a...scientist.”

Thor smiles.

“Well, what study of interest are you in?”

“DNA sequencing,” Bruce says weakly. “And you are...Thor, right?”

“Yes,” Thor says, smiling. “Did my father invite you?”

“Your mother,” Bruce says, knowing that Queen Frigga is occupied at the moment trying to ensure that Loki is not stealing all of the strawberries. She cannot possibly come over and confirm his story or realize that she has no idea who he is.

“How is your night faring, Your Highness?” Bruce asks nervously. He cannot make eye contact.

“None of that,” Thor says with a chuckle. “That title is...stuffy. Overused. I’m just a regular person who is assuming a throne.”

“Any plans then, regular person?” Bruce asks in a snarky tone, grinning.

“None that I’m comfortable sharing within earshot,” Thor mutters under his breath, into his drink. Bruce smiles.

His eyes crinkle up. That’s cute.

“Good idea. Never know what your father listens to.”

“Not a fan?” Thor asks.

“Can’t say I’m dedicated,” Bruce answers with a shrug. Thor smiles, leaning in closer.

Thor’s about to answer more, willing to speak with this man. The night was turning around, and--

Odin claps him on the back.

“Thor, I have some people you must talk to for the future,” he says, not even sparing Bruce a glance as he turns his son towards a group of the most ancient looking old men Bruce has seen.

Thor swivels his head back.

“I hope to see you again!” Thor calls.

Bruce waves.

“Probably not,” Bruce sighs to himself. “But I’m sure you also won’t see some of your vases again.”

In the news, they reported that it had to be at least a three-man job. The surveillance didn’t help, heirlooms had been nicked out of at least six different rooms, and top secret documents had been spilled out into the back lawn, some artfully arranged as if they were reading material for the next garden party.

Thor has an idea of who did it. Has since his mother confusedly asked “who’s Bruce?”

He’s clever, that’s for sure. Going directly to the house? Using Odin’s disregard of people he doesn’t think are worth his time? Oh, it’s perfect.

It would also make a good quality in a husband, if he says so himself.

Bruce is currently lying on his back at Jane’s house, the sunshine warming him.

“You’re gonna die!” Helen yells. “You told him your name and you are storing, just casually, a priceless artifact!”

"I’m not storing it. I just put it back in a museum,” Bruce says.

“You think that Odin’s honestly not going to get it back?”

“Nope,” Bruce says. “Because he didn’t change the paperwork on it and it has a loan repayment clause thingy. I don’t know how it works but he needs to pay the museum for it and it’ll be bad press for a while. That and his shady dealings with repressing country public opinion. I think Thor’s up to the plate.”

He is. Bruce is right. Odin has rescinded his claim on the throne, allowing a coronation to be held for Thor.

“Are you gonna go?” Jane asks.

Bruce snorts.

“And what, risk being detained in Asgardian jail or being murdered? Nah,” Bruce says. “Besides, I probably won’t ever really interact with them ever again. And I have no purpose for being there.”

Bruce isn’t sure how. But he gets an invitation to go. Well, he’s sure how he got it. Thor remembered him, probably found out that he wasn’t supposed to be there.

He’s mad.

He’s from fucking Ohio. He knows that no one is supposed to notice him under any circumstance besides maybe an eating competition or a tornado warning.

“You have to go,” Tony says. “I’ll be there, I can cause a distraction. Loki owes me a favor.”

“How does Loki owe you a favor?”

“They needed some help with executing a perfect red carpet walk a couple years back to ensure they upstaged someone. I don’t know who, but I helped. Loki owes me.”

“But why do I have to go?”

“Because if you don’t then Thor’s not gonna stop,” Tony says. “Because if he personally invited you, that means something. It means you’re either going to die or he’s going to make sure he has a very fun time at his own coronation.”

“Why wouldn’t you have fun being coronated or whatever the fuck you call it?”

Two hours in. There’s been two hours of this. Bruce has fallen asleep twice, and Tony keeps jabbing him in the side.

“Decorum,” Tony hisses. “If you fall asleep, you’re going to cause a scene.”

“So sorry that I don’t find this just entirely interesting,” Bruce says, “I wasn’t the one who minored in anthropology.”

“Majored,” Tony says. “Among other things.”

“Is this when we couldn’t find you for a year? Like, when you went to California or whatever and had a crisis?”

“I didn’t have a crisis,” Tony says.

“Sure you didn’t,” Bruce said, snorting. “You were sad and probably ate five loaves of pumpernickel in one day.”

“If you keep talking we’re gonna get kicked out, and I want my record of being kicked out of royal events to be kept to a minimum of two.”

“You’ve been kicked out of two?”

“One was England. That’s practically a given.” Tony hisses. “Now no more.”

Bruce falls asleep again.

Thor catches him in the audience.

He has to bite his own tongue to stop from laughing. Sif side-eyes him.

He raises an eyebrow. She looks out into the crowd, sees the man who has fallen asleep. She stills, trying very hard not to laugh.

“Is that the man you want to pursue?” she whispers as the officiants droll on about tradition. Thor nods. Sift snorts. “Of course you do.”

The party afterwards is tasteful. People are in a line to congratulate Thor. Bruce is by the appetizer table slowly but surely stealing all of the colby-jack cheese slices.

“I hate you,” Tony says to Bruce. “You’re a menace to society.”

“Put that on my headstone, see if my ghost sticks around to cause trouble,” Bruce says. “Besides, I am not paying for any of this. I’m already eyeing the chocolate fountain.”

Tony rolls his eyes.

“I suppose this is what I get for bringing you here.”

“You literally did not have to, I got an invite and you forced me to come,” Bruce says. “And all because I stole priceless artifacts. Ugh.”

Thor finally manages to escape a long line of well-wishers/want-to-make-sure-he-won’t-do-things-he’s-gonna-do people.

He finds Bruce slowly but surely demolishing the pineapple.

“Nice to see you again, Dr. Banner,” he says. Bruce stills, turning.

“I wasn’t expecting to even meet you today again,” Bruce says, smiling. “How have things been?”

“I’ve gotten some more space for storage,” Thor says, referencing to the act of stealing and also revealing his father’s less-than-golden past. “Thank you for that, by the way.”

Bruce stills.

“You...know?”

“The queen knows no one by the name of Bruce who is a scientist. You paused. Terrible lie, really. You’re lucky you’re quite good-looking and my father is a fool.”

Bruce looks at him.

“I stole a lot of shit from your house and you’re calling me good-looking?” Bruce asks.

“Well to be fair, I’m just glad you didn’t steal my blanket on my bed. It’s pretty soft, pretty valuable,” Thor says grinning.

“Didn’t get to see that room,” Bruce responds.

“You’ll have to come up with me some time then.”

Bruce almost spills his drink.

“Are you...?”

“Flirting with you? Yes.”

Bruce takes a sip of his drink.

“Interesting. Although I hardly doubt your mother will be pleased to see you talking with someone who stole things.”

“On the contrary, she most likely won’t mind,” Thor says, smiling. “Just because she married my father doesn’t necessarily mean they’re affectionate.”

Bruce tilts his head.

“So what you’re saying is that no one in your family likes your dad?”

“Not especially. Kind of a bastard, if you ask me.”

Bruce laughs.

“So. What kinds of things does a king like to do for a date?”

Thor puts a finger on his chin, teasingly.

“Well I’m not sure. Is it kingly of me to offer a lunch?”

“I would say I’ll accept,” Bruce says, laughing. “So long as it’s a good lunch.”

Tony is gasping in disbelief as he sees Thor put a hand on the small of Bruce’s back, leading him to meet the queen.

“Only my brother,” Loki says, pursing their lips. “Of course he falls in love with the man who stole from the kingdom and would probably be arrested for about twenty years.”

“He does that,” Tony says. “Thank you again, for inviting me.”

“No problem,” Loki says. “God knows I needed someone else to judge the questionable fashion choices people made. Just...ugh. Look at her shoes.”

“I need another drink to even think about looking at those,” Tony says, turning towards the bar.

With Thor and Bruce, the kingdom gets two excellent rulers. Bruce is more focused on environment sustainability and education infrastructure, and can frequently be seen leading children all over the grounds of the kingdom, identifying herbs and plants and grinning as they picnic for lunch.

Thor focuses more on bringing more of the...unfavorable history to light, reinventing what he wants for his country, and leading by example.

Of course, Bruce and Thor are photographed together getting breakfast, lunch, and on one memorable occasion, in-sync eye-rolling at a United States event.

(Tony gets it framed for their wedding gift.)

#HI SO SORRY THIS CAME SO LATE #I WAS REALLY TRYING TO MAKE IT GOOD #some of the plot is questionable because i am absolute shit with plots but! firm belief that thor just loves bruce #also YES i made loki nonbinary i can do that because they are #loki #thor #sif #tony stark #helenjane #bruce banner #thorbruce #bruce: steals from odin #thor: did you know i would actually marry you #lovelyirony writes

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vfdbaudelairefile13 · 5 years

Text

Chapter Eight:

The One When Jacques Makes a Few Very Foolish Decisions

From the moment that he had hung up the phone the first time with Jacquelyn Scieszka, Jacques felt like his world had shattered into a million tiny pieces in front of him. Lemony had been alive for fifteen years? Did Kit know? Did Beatrice? He pondered as he drove his taxi. And now he’s dead...or so...possibly dead. Jacques couldn’t bear knowing that his baby brother had been murdered by Count Olaf...it was not possible. If Lemony had faked his death before who is to say he couldn’t do it again. Jacques refused to fully believe that Lemony was truly gone. Call it denial, call it intuition. Jacques wasn’t in the state of mind to communicate his feelings accurately.

Jacques sighed loudly. None of this made any sense to him. Lemony had a daughter? A fourteen-year-old daughter? ...with Beatrice Baudelaire? And somehow got custody of said child? Jacques didn’t know what to think of all that, this thought did create a devastating point to counter Jacques’ ‘Lemony faked his death again’ theory. He had a daughter. There was no way his brother would ever leave her to fend for herself in a cruel world like this one. He knew Lemony well. His brother was a good man and he had no doubt within his mind that Lemony was a great father. I have a niece. He thought. It was the only good news to have come to him.

Well besides his discovery about one of the fires. He had told VFD about a possible survivor of a recent fire and they had asked him to make time for an interview. He didn’t see why this was important but he knew to follow their orders. He sighed. Was it a good idea leaving him at Montgomery’s house? He asked himself. He remembered the scene as though it had just played out minutes prior.

Jacques had rushed back into the herpetological library of Montgomery Montgomery, his associate had glanced up from their eight scattered maps to see that Jacques’ eyes were red and puffy. Jacques then explained that he was going for a while and that he would be back. He remembers the look of fear his associate had given him when he explained to him that it was better, for the moment at least, that no one else knows that he is alive. Jacques makes sure to not explain to his associate where he’s going. He knows his organization had a habit of separating siblings, he didn’t know whether it was the better choice to keep his associate and his siblings apart in the hopes of sparing the pain of being separated once more. He remembered when they had taken Lemony to Staind-by-the-Sea, he and Kit were allowed bare minimum contact with their younger brother. Jacques followed VFD’s orders while Kit...well, she did her own thing. She always did her own thing. Jacques sighed. Should I call her? He asked himself. It had been around ten years since he had spoken to his own twin sister last. The first five years or so without Lemony were rough and Jacques believed that both siblings made an effort to be there for one another, in the beginning, at least. But something happened in the sixth year. He couldn’t remember entirely if it was he or Kit who had ceased all communication, but he did know one thing, if it was her, he never tried to fight her about it and he never decided to reach out for her.

He was the eldest, even if it was only by a matter of minutes. He knew that if he tried hard enough, he would be able to contact her. But every time he had thought about it, he decided against it. Deciding that the awkward silence or heated discussion that may follow was simply not worth his pride or time.

He shook his head at himself as he remembered how he patted his associate on his back. “Remember...you’re dead. No one can know you’re alive. Don’t answer the doors or windows to anyone,” Jacques had advised. “And focus on studying,” he said pointing at a large book entitled The Incomplete History of Secret Organization. Inside this particular copy was the quote, Life is a conundrum of esoterica, which inspired Jacques young associate to agree to volunteer. Jacques waved goodbye promising to return in a matter of days. Again, deliberately holding very important information about everything and anything from his newest associate who had a true knack for maps and globes.

He stared at himself in the rearview mirror for a good, long moment. Eventually shaking his head at himself in disappointment. You should have told him the truth. Hell, you should have brought him along. Jacques thought to himself. Trying very hard to push away any and all distracting thoughts to the side. He contemplated turning around for his associate. But ultimately decided against it. He’ll be fine. He told himself. Your niece is in more danger. Everyone thinks he’s dead, even his...siblings. He thought to himself sadly.

Without even trying he described Lemony. Everyone, including Kit and myself, thought he was dead… he thought. ...but it turns out we were wrong, and even though he was presumed dead someone still murdered him. He shuddered. He couldn’t imagine that happening to a young child. Lemony was an entirely different case. He convinced himself. In a way, Jacques was right. Lemony was a different case altogether. The only reason that Lemony was even found out to be alive was due to the fact that he came out of hiding to help two children. Jacques' heart shattered. That lovestruck moron. He grumbled. Why hadn’t Lemony just trusted VFD? They would have helped the two Baudelaires.

Jacques believed this wholeheartedly, although he knew VFD wasn’t perfect. It had its...issues. He remembered a few wrongs that VFD committed against the Snicket siblings. He thought first of that fateful night at the opera. He hit the steering wheel as he drove. He remembered that night like it was yesterday.

Bertrand’s urgent call, calling for a taxi for an associate. Jacques never understood why Bertrand didn’t warn Jacques that the associate was his own little brother who was running away from the life that he knew. Did he think Jacques would have refused to let Lemony leave? Did he think Jacques’ big brother mode would have turned on and he would’ve fought Olaf for even threatening his brother? Jacques regrets never asking Bertrand.

Jacques remembers slowly driving into the alley that was located in the back of the opera house. He could remember how it felt to feel his heart stop and shatter when he recognized the two people who were hiding in the back of the alley, presumably telling each other goodbye. Jacques recognized Beatrice immediately. Her red shawl slightly waving in the wind, her make-up slightly a mess from her tears. He could see only his brother’s backside, as he was facing Beatrice, he could tell by Lemony’s body language that his younger brother was devastated and scared. He watched as Lemony kissed Beatrice, taking a piece of porcelain out of her hands and running for the taxi.

Lemony had rushed into the passenger seat without even looking at the driver, his face focused on Beatrice who stood outside watching as he departed, just as the rain began to fall. Jacques could see the tears on his brother’s face as Jacques slowly pulled out of the alleyway. Both brothers not speaking a word, Lemony’s gaze only on Beatrice as she waved goodbye and oddly placed a hand on her stomach.

“...you are to take me far away,” Lemony said in a monotone, still staring in the direction that Beatrice had stood.

“I am aware,” Jacques replied turning towards his brother. “Is Stain’d far enough for you?”

Lemony had recognized his brother’s voice immediately and turned his head towards him. “Jacques?”

“Lemony...what happened?” Jacques asked seeing that his brother was still crying. He looked down at the porcelain sugar bowl in his brother’s hands.

“La Forza Del Destino,” Lemony replied crying harder. “I’ve ruined everything.”

“The faults of this world do not lay on the shoulders of one man,” Jacques explained.

“No, Jacques. I ruined everything. I involved Kit...and Beatrice...and Bertrand. I was supposed to do this alone, but I couldn’t sneak in the box of darts...Kit was always the best at that.” Lemony had rambled. “Beatrice had always been the best at darts.”

Jacques had sighed. Unsure of how to make his brother feel better. He looked at the sugar bowl in his brother’s lap. “Mission accomplished, though,” Jacques said. “Two in one night,”

Lemony opened the sugar bowl’s top out of curiosity, peering inside. His face turned into a grin as he began to laugh a little to himself.

“This makes so much sense,” Jacques recalls Lemony stating.

“What?” Jacques asks confused. “What’s in there?”

“ special sugar ,”

“Special…? What do you mean ‘special sugar’?”

“‘Special sugar’ a phrase which here means,” Lemony began laughing.

Jacques playfully hit him in the chest. “Seriously, smart ass,”

“Think about who the previous owner of this sugar bowl is,” Lemony advised.

“... oh!” Jacques said as he too began to laugh. “You’re right...that makes a lot of sense when you think about it,”

Jacques remembered the two brothers going silent for a while after that. Neither one knowing just what to say. Jacques knew what he was doing as he drove Lemony to Staind. He was taking his brother to safety where he would be advised to not contact any of his old associates or siblings for years or however long it takes to convince every one of their enemies that he was dead. He knew this was his last few hours with his baby brother and he regretfully spent at least two of them in dead silence. He now wondered as he drove in an eerie silence, what Lemony was thinking during this time or how he felt about the whole situation. Lemony cried on and off during the ride, but never loud enough to make Jacques feel he should intervene.

When the two Snicket brothers began speaking again it was to play a game that Jacques had taught Lemony when they were younger. It was called Beethoven. Jacques, at first, hadn’t been paying much attention to what Lemony was doing until he realized that every time Jacques spoke, Lemony’s reply wasn’t a true reply, more of him just regurgitating back similar words which is how the game works. The brothers had spent some time playing that, laughing, both silently reminiscing the old days to themselves.

Jacques now pondered if Lemony had this all planned from that point in his life. Was it the plan to fake his own death but still keep in enough contact with Beatrice to gain custody of Beatrice’s actual firstborn? He couldn’t fathom Lemony choosing this sort of life instead of the alternative, which for him was being married to both Beatrice and Bertrand. Spending the rest of his life with them and raising children as a unit of three parents rather than two or one. Jacques refused to believe that this is what Lemony had hoped life would be. Because in all honesty, Jacques wished the night at the opera had gone a little different. A vicious part of him wonders what would have happened if a third dart had been thrown at the son of that night’s targets. The only thing that would have truly remained was the guilt that he was sure everyone involved felt even if they’d never admit it and his sister’s heartbreak, which would eventually cease to exist. Or...maybe it never did? He wouldn’t know, he hasn’t spoken to her in a decade. He has no idea if she’s still hung up on her ex-fiance or if she had found a new partner and began a family. He feared his pride would never allow him.

Jacques drove in silence to Prufrock trying to keep his mind on rescuing his niece. If Jacquelyn sent her here to purposely meet her half-siblings this meant that Jacques would have to rescue them as well. He pondered whether or not he should take Duncan and Isadora Quagmire. Their family were prominent members of VFD as well, their training was just as late as the eldest known Baudelaire, if not more, seeing that they were a tad bit older than him. He could fit 5 children in his taxi, it’d be a tight squeeze once he went back for his associate or maybe he’d wait. He remembered why he didn’t bring his associate in the first place, to reunite siblings just to tear them apart is cruel and something Jacques refused to do. He debated whether or not of telling his associate’s siblings the truth.

Jacques remembered the day that he and Kit received the news that Lemony had died. Both of them were devastated. The two twin siblings wouldn’t separate for more than a couple hours for the first few weeks after hearing of their little brother’s death. Kit blamed VFD while Jacques blamed himself. But although Kit blamed VFD she still did everything they had asked of her because she didn’t have anywhere else to go and VFD was all she knew. But for a couple of years, she was bitter. Never bitter enough to sabotage VFD, but bitter enough to speak ill of the organization every chance she got. Jacques had feared his sister was going to rebel, somehow leave the organization, he knew that Beatrice and Bertrand had also discussed this, telling Lemony’s siblings that “this decision is in the best interest for their children,” At the time, Jacques didn’t understand his friends’ thinking. VFD had raised all of them and did a pretty decent job, he had thought. At the time, he was scared for his friends and sister, he knew what VFD did to members who no longer wanted to volunteer. He shuddered. He was loyal to VFD although he could see some of their minor and major issues, but as he drove in silence to Prufrock he was beginning to question everything in his life. Was VFD the reason that Bertrand and Beatrice burned to death? Because they weren’t allowing their children into the organization no matter how many times VFD had pressured? If they had killed Beatrice and Bertrand...had they killed the Quagmires for the same reason? Or was this the work of VFD’s greatest enemies? Jacques was no longer sure of the answer to these questions. At one time, he believed he had all the answers, especially to the ones pertaining to VFD but now...he sincerely felt like he didn’t. He was blissfully unaware of the possible evils that lurked behind VFD’s message of morality and volunteering.

Then a dark thought had popped into his mind which caused him to become enraged. If VFD had caused the Baudelaires’ death...then they also caused Lemony’s. By taking him out of hiding so he could protect Beatrice’s children, it allowed Olaf to discover him. Jacques hit the steering wheel angrily If... if Lemony is truly dead...there will be Hell to pay. He thought to himself as he pushed all remaining thoughts from his mind focusing on reaching Prufrock as fast as he could using the map that his associate had given to him.

__________________________________________________

After his second phone call with Jacquelyn, Jacques began to drive in a way that reminded him of his sister. Jacques sighed heavily. He frowned as he thought again of his sister. Maybe he should call her. He didn’t want to regret not talking to her if she were to die unexpectedly like Lemony. He stared silently at the taxi-phone, weighing the pros and cons of calling his sister. He knew she was on a mission to retrieve the same piece of porcelain that Beatrice and Lemony had stolen so many years ago, would she have time to chat? You can call her once you’ve saved your niece. He told himself.

_________________________________________________________

“Th-that fucking bastard,” Larry muttered as he shivered. He walked around the freezer desperately. His attempts of knocking on the door were futile. No one was coming to rescue him. Least he was able to call Jacquelyn, who promised to send help.

He remembered her advice about reciting a Jack London story. Couldn’t hurt. He thought to himself. “He laughed at his own foolishness. Ha-ha-ha. As he laughed, he noted the numbness in his bare fingers. Also, he noted the feeling which had come to his toes when he sat down was already fading away...He wondered whether the toes were warm or numb. He moved them inside the moccasins.” he recited as he shivered.

“Jack London, if I’m not mistaken,” a familiar voice called out.

Larry’s heart dropped for two reasons. One, he was being rescued which was amazing because he really wasn’t looking forward to freezing to death in the freezer of his old school. But the second reason was that he knew that voice all too well. That voice was definitely the voice of Jacques Snicket, his ex-boyfriend. “Wh-what?” Larry shivered.

“The story you were reciting is by Jack London,” Jacques replied. “I would advise standing away from the freezer door,”

“Wh-why?” Larry asked backing away. “Snicket...is that you?”

Jacques waited about ten seconds before kicking in the freezer door. Larry looked at Jacques in surprise as he stood in the middle of the freezer’s doorway. “Oh, Larry, Snicket is so informal. You know you can call me Jacques,” he said smiling. “Did somebody call for a taxi?”

Larry just stood there in shock. He averted his gaze away from Jacques. Jacques picked Larry up bridal style. “I-I’ve got to get the book to Lemony’s daughter,” Larry explained shivering.

“Try not to speak until we get some hot chocolate in you,” Jacques advised.

“B-but...Violet…”

“Violet?...is that her name?” Jacques asked, his eyes lighting up when his niece was mentioned by name.

Larry nodded. “S-sh-she looks just like Beatrice,” Larry explained. “She has Lemony’s eyes,”

Jacques gave a small smile to that.

“Well, well, if it isn’t a cake-sniffer and his cake-sniffing friend?” Carmelita asked popping out of nowhere. Larry screamed as he clung tighter to Jacques.

“Sh-she’s back!”

Jacques looked at Carmelita confused. “I’m going to assume that is not my niece,” Jacques whispered.

“N-no. She’s not,” Larry confirmed.

“Ah, this must be Carmelita Spats,” Jacques replied looking at the girl.

Carmelita looked slightly uncomfortable with a grown man knowing her name without her introducing herself. “How...how do you know who I am?” she asked meekly.

“I work for an organization that keeps tabs on young people of interest,” Jacques explained as he began to walk while carrying Larry.

Carmelita scoffs and smirks in response. “Well, obviously. I’m interesting,”

“‘Interesting’ can mean a few different things. A polka-dot suit is interesting, although no one looks good in one,” Jacques explained as Carmelita glared at him. “You see, this man here is my friend, and I don’t appreciate anyone mistreating my friends, no matter what age they are,” he walked passed the little girl who just crossed her arms across her chest. “Oh, and by the way, I believe it takes one to know one. Cake-sniffer. “ Jacques replied smirking.

He exited through the back of the cafeteria still carrying Larry bridal style. “...you...you stood up for me,” Larry said confused.

“Well going back to school can be traumatic. That’s why I keep a trauma blanket in my cab,”

“You’re my hero,” Larry said happily.

Jacques smiled at this. “Now...I’m going to take you back to the city so you can be treated for frostbite,” he begins.

“No...I have to get the book to Lemony’s daughter,” Larry explained.

Jacques frowned, weighing his options. “If...if I drive like Kit...I can get back here in no time,” he explained.

“But…”

“No buts,” Jacques explained. “You need to get to a hospital,”

“There’s a hospital in the hinterlands…”

Jacques shook his head. “Too far, even if I were to drive like Kit. I will take you back to the city where Jacquelyn can look after you and I will come back for the kids,”

As Jacques helped Larry into his taxi, he looked back at the school and frowned. If I take just her… He thought. Then he thought of his younger brother, how he had supposedly given his life for the Baudelaires. I could take all three… He debated and then thought about his associate waiting for him back at Monty’s house. Could five kids fit in the taxi with Larry and I?

It’s like Larry could read Jacques' face like so many years ago. “She’s safe...for the most part,” he muttered. “She found her siblings. I saw them together at lunch. She seems happy,”

“As happy as she can be with her father being dead…” Jacques replied as he slowly got into the driver’s seat.

“If you need to...drive like Kit…” Larry said.

“A part of me thinks I should get them now,” Jacques explained. “Are you sure she’s safe?”

“As safe as she can be. Olaf is here...unfortunately. But he hasn’t been able to find the children and she has back up,” Larry explained. “Besides, Olaf doesn’t know about her,”

“But he knows about the Baudelaires,” Jacques replied.

Jacques sighed. Larry could tell that he was weighing his options. After a few moments, he started up the taxi. “If she’s anything like Beatrice...she’ll be fine,” he told himself as he began to drive off from the school.

_____________________________________________________

When the children reached the Orphan Shack, Violet paced angrily around the tiny shack, all four younger orphans watching her.

“So, our new gym teacher is definitely Count Olaf,” Duncan noted.

“ Really?” Isadora asked her brother sarcastically. “What was your first clue?”

“Stop,” Sunny said as Duncan opened his mouth. Duncan looked down at Sunny, who smiled back at him.

“So...what’s the plan, Violet?” Isadora asked Violet, who was pacing the shack tying her hair up.

Klaus stood up. “The plan is you three say goodbye to me and Sunny,” he began. All four other orphans could tell that he was choked up even thinking about this. “It’s too dangerous. Sunny and I can handle this,”

“Bull,” Sunny noted.

“We can!” Klaus practically yelled. Sunny was taken aback as she glared at her older brother.

“Stop,” Violet told Klaus, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Stop trying to protect me. I don’t need protecting,”

“Um, yeah you do. Did you see the gleam in his eyes as he stared at you…” Klaus warned shuddering. “It’s...it’s different than the gleam in his eyes when he stares at me and I can bet you I know why !”

“Why?” Sunny asked, a little confused.

“We’ll explain it to you when you’re older,” Duncan said quickly. All four older orphans knew exactly what Olaf’s intentions with Violet were. But none of them had the heart to explain to someone as young as Sunny.

Violet opened her locket and stared at the picture inside. “What are you doing?” Klaus asked his sister.

“Oh, it is silly…” Violet said. “But sometimes I just need to look at...our...mother. Like she’s here with me…”

Klaus slowly nodded. “Honestly, that’s not silly at all,” he said taking out the two photographs that were still in his pocket. “I might start doing that,”

“Hey, wait,” Isadora said looking at one of the photographs. “That’s our parents,”

Duncan rushed towards what Isadora was talking about. “We had this photo in our library,” he explained looking at the picture of several volunteers standing in front of Lucky Smells Lumbermill.

“These are my parents,” Klaus explained pointing at the couple beside the Quagmire parents. Violet’s eyes went wide as she took the photo from Klaus’ hand. “Hey! What the…”

“Mr. Lemons,” she whispered placing her thumb where her father stood in the picture. The furthest to the left. He stood away from her mother, he only slightly faced the camera.

“Who’s Mr. Lemons?” Klaus asked looking at Violet who held the picture close to her face, examining it.

“My father,” Violet explained. “He’s in the photo,”

“Wait...but my father seems to be the one in a relationship with our mother,” Klaus said confused.

“We had this photo in our library, but we never paid attention to it,” he explained, glancing at Violet who continued to stare at it in silence.

“I bet there were other mysteries we never noticed,” Klaus said staring at the photo that was left in his hands. He stared at the young couple in that picture. He didn’t know the woman entirely, but he knew the man who held on to her. The smile on his face was foreign to Klaus. He’d seen the man smile but it was always a vicious smile, this smile seemed genuine...soft even.

“Like a spyglass,” Isadora noted.

“Book,” Sunny added.

“We need to survive long enough to find that book,” Klaus explained.

“The librarian said to check back in a day or so,” Duncan reminded them.

“We don’t have a day or so,” Isadora explained. “It’s almost sundown,”

Violet looked up and noticed Klaus was holding another photo. Eager she snatched that one from his hands, too.

Klaus looked at her. “You know, you can simply be like ‘hey Klaus, can I see that photo?’” he said annoyed.

Violet didn’t reply, her eyes simply widened looking at the photo. She recognized several people in the photo, but her eyes stayed focused on the man who had his arms around a woman who looked very familiar, but she couldn’t put her finger on it. “What the fuck?” she cried. “That’s Olaf,” she said pointing at the man who was holding the woman happily in his arms.

Duncan and Isadora looked over Violet’s shoulders at the photo. “Oh my God,” Isadora exclaimed.

“You’re right,” Duncan said. “But why is he in a picture with our parents?”

Violet scanned the photo. Olaf had been friendly with their mother and both fathers...but how? He was friendly with the Quagmires as well? She handed Klaus back both photos. “Do not lose those,” she warned.

Klaus nodded as he scanned the photos one more time, frowning as he carefully folded them back into his pocket just as someone knocked on the door of the Orphan Shack. Isadora answered the door and to the kids’ displeasure, it was Carmelita in her cheer uniform.

“I have a special message for the Baudelaires...and the cake-sniffing Snicket,” Carmelita noted before beginning to sing, ‘The sun is setting, hooray. Hooray! Coach Genghis sent me here to say that you three orphans need to report to the field after dinner! And my name is Carmelita!”

“That doesn’t rhyme,” Isadora noted.

“Only cake-sniffers care about poetic form!” Carmelita yelled before staring at Violet, Klaus, and Sunny.

“Can we help you?” Duncan asked.

“I’m waiting for my tip,” Carmelita said holding out her hand.

“We don’t have any…” Klaus began before Violet put her hand up, smiling at the young cheerleader.

“I got this,” Violet said calmly, walking closer to Carmelita. “You want a tip?” she asked.

Carmelita glared at her. “Yes! Finally, someone gets it!”

“There’s a book that takes place on an island,” Violet began smiling. “A group of young boys is stranded there and they slowly start to go mad and some of them lose their sense of morality…” she began before Isadora started laughing.

“Vi…, we all know that’s not on her reading level,” Isadora interrupted. “There’s a book that takes place on a rainy day, two children sat bored until a magical cat with a large hat…”

Duncan, Violet, Klaus, and even Sunny started laughing as Isadora continued to describe the Dr. Suess classic, The Cat in the Hat to Carmelita. Carmelita simply glared at the two girls. “What kind of fucking tip is that!?”

Isadora shrugged. “Oh, sorry. Did I spoil the ending for you?” she asked.

Carmelita stuck out her tongue and grumbled away. “You owe me a real tip, you cake sniffers!” she called back at them.

“Lord of the Flies,” Klaus mentioned to Violet. “Good choice,”

“First thing that came to my mind,” Violet said laughing. “But Isa’s explanation of The Cat in the Hat was comedic gold!”

“Thank you, thank you,” Isadora said taking a bow as Sunny clapped and cheered.

Violet looked outside as she watched the sky glow orange. “It’s almost sundown, we may want to hurry to eat before we have to meet fucker,”

Klaus frowned. “Y-yeah,” he said picking up his sister and following Violet to the lunchroom.

_________________________________________________________

Nero was true to his promise, when Violet, Duncan, and Isadora reached the masked cafeteria worker who was handing out silverware, they had only given Klaus silverware. Klaus looked at them confused as they walked away.

“What happened?” Klaus asked as the children sat down at their usual table.

“We followed Nero into the administrative building,” Duncan explained as Klaus passed his silverware to him.

“To warn him that Count Olaf had found his way in the school,” Isadora explained.

Klaus frowned. “I’m sorry,” he said. “You three have already sacrificed a lot,” once Duncan had passed him back his silverware, he handed it over to Isadora. Who gave him a grateful smile.

“It’s what friends are for,” she replied as she took a bite of her meatloaf and handed Klaus’ fork back to him.

Violet gave her younger brother a grateful smile as he handed her the silverware. “I guess we’ll be eating slowly,” she commented laughing.

“We’ll just keep passing my silverware around. It buys us more time to figure out what Olaf’s plan is,” Klaus pointed out as Violet passed him his silverware and he took a bite of his meatloaf and then fed Sunny a piece of hers.

“Well, we can always try taking off his turban,” Isadora pointed out.

“I tried,” Violet muttered annoyed. “The bastard has cat-like reflexes,”

“What about his shoes?” Duncan asked. “Sunny, do you think you can bite through them?”

Sunny thought about it for a mere second before nodding her head.

“I don’t think that would work,” Klaus pointed out as he passed his silverware to Duncan. “He would hurt Sunny if she tried,”

“I dare him to try,” Violet said angrily.

“I’m still all for the plan where you three,” Klaus says pointing at Duncan, Isadora, and Violet, “forget all about me and Sunny,”

“Klaus,” Duncan said as he passed the silverware to his sister. “We’re here to help you,”

“Count Olaf is too dangerous,”

“Do you really think we’re going to just sit around while you try to escape him on your own?” Isadora asked.

Klaus shrugged. “Part of me wishes you would. What if he hurts you guys?”

“Again, I’d love to see him try,” Violet responded taking the silverware from Isadora. “Besides he involved me… so even if I wanted to abandon you, which I don’t, I couldn’t.”

Klaus sighed. Violet was right about her involvement. He turned to Duncan and Isadora. “You’re risking your lives…” he warned.

“Never mind about that,” Duncan said smiling at Klaus.

It is at this time, that I feel it a tad bit necessary to warn you, the reader, yet again that this story is all downhill from here. I am sorry to inform you that the Quagmire triplets should have minded about that. They should have minded very much. Duncan and Isadora Quagmire were very brave and caring to try to help Violet and her siblings, but bravery often demands a price. By ‘price’ I do not mean something along the lines of five dollars. I mean a much, much bigger price, a price so dreadful that I cannot speak of it now but must return to the scene I am writing at this moment. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you.

“Never mind about that,” Duncan reassured Klaus again when Klaus merely frowned in his direction. “What we need is an actual plan,”

“We need to prove to Nero that Coach Shitface is Count Olaf,” Isadora agreed.

“Well the computer didn’t help our case,” Violet said rolling her eyes.

“I knew it fucking wouldn’t,” Klaus muttered annoyed.

“Shit,” Sunny agreed.

Violet glanced towards the windows of the cafeteria, sundown was minutes away. “It’s almost time,” she warned.

Klaus felt his heart sink. “I can’t…”

“Sunny and I will be there for you,” Violet explained.

“And while you guys are stuck with fuckface,” Duncan explained. “Isadora and I will do some investigating of our own. Maybe we can figure a few of these mysteries out while you guys are doing S.O.R.E, whatever the fuck that is.”

Klaus nodded his head but he wasn’t liking this at all. As the five orphans stood up, Violet picked up Sunny and grabbed Klaus’ hand. Isadora and Duncan looked at their friends as they bid each other goodbye. Isadora and Duncan headed towards the library while Violet and her siblings headed towards the athletic field. With each step, Klaus felt like his world was crumbling around him. All he could think about was how it felt like he and his sisters were walking towards their doom and walking into a trap.

Klaus looked first at his older sister and then his younger sister and then back at the Quagmires, who were waving at him and his sisters. It was very brave of both Violet and the Quagmires to not be frightened of Olaf and to be so eager to help Klaus and Sunny. But Klaus could not help but wonder if they should be brave. Olaf was such a wretched man that it seemed very wise to be frightened of him, and he had defeated so many of the Baudelaires’ plans that it seemed a little foolish to be so eager to get involved. But he was appreciative of Violet and the Quagmires' efforts that he said nothing more about the matter. I hate to report that in the years to come, Klaus Baudelaire would regret this, this time when he said nothing more about the matter.

________________________________________________

The last few rays of the sunset made the children cast long, long shadows as they walked as if Violet and her siblings had been stretched across the brown grass by some horrible device. The children looked down at their shadows, and wished with every step that they could so something else, anything else, other than meet Coach Genghis at the athletic field.

Klaus wished he could take his sisters and his friends and just keep walking, under the arch, past the front lawn, and out into the world. But where would they go? He knew by now that he was relatively alone in this world. His parents were dead. His estate’s executor was too busy to take good care of him and Sunny. And his only friends were orphans, too. His thoughts were put on hold as he heard Genghis yelling at the three half-siblings about them being late.

“Punctuation!” Genghis yelled as Violet and her siblings walked up to him and Nero.

“Punctuation?” Violet asked confused.

“The art of arriving late,” Genghis explained.

“That’s punctuality, ” Violet corrected.

“Dumb ass,” Sunny added glaring at Genghis.

“Y-you...you said to be here at sundown. So we’re technically not late,” Klaus explained, hiding slightly behind Violet and Sunny.

Genghis smirked at Klaus. “Hmmm,” he said. “That’s curious. Someone just referred to you as the late Baudelaires...maybe they were talking about your parents,”

Violet glared at the villainous man, who kept his gaze on Klaus. Genghis smiled up at her before turning to Nero. “See, this reminds me of a story,” he said. “Some time ago, a pair of wealthy children came to me, needing my help. There were two of them, one of each. Boy and girl.” He gave a wicked smile to Sunny and Klaus. “‘Coach Genghis’ they said to me, ‘We’re failures. Our parents have abandoned us for careers as burnt-up skeletons. We have nothing in our lives but all these bags of money, and they’re making us failures who read books and bite things.” He paused and looked at Violet. “And do you know what I told them?”

“Ooh, I know this one!” Nero said. “Did you tell them to stand up,”

“They were already standing,”

“To actualize and incentivize?”

“What? That...that doesn’t mean anything,” Genghis said annoyed. “I told them to put on these very expensive running shoes,” he tossed three pairs of shoes Violet’s way. Violet turned her body to shield Sunny from the shoes being thrown at the sisters. “Now even stupid children like yourselves should remember what I said about orphans having excellent bone structure for running. That’s why you are about to do Special Orphan Running Exercises, or S.O.R.E for short,”

“Ooladu!” Sunny yelled, which meant, “What are you really up to you, fucker!?”

“Now before you run, you’re going to need a track,” Genghis explained as he picked up a can of paint. “This is a can of luminous paint. The word ‘luminous’ means to glow in the dark,”

“We know what ‘luminous’ means!” Klaus yelled angrily.

Genghis smirked at the bookworm. “Well, since you know so much,” he said pushing the can of paint into Klaus’ arms. “You can be in charge of painting the track,” he tossed a paintbrush at Klaus. “You are to drag this bucket around and around until you made a luminous circle on the ground. I want you to paint a big circle on the grass so you can see where you are running,” he explained.

“That’s it?” Violet asked confused.

“For now,” he replied smirking. “Genius ideas are simple, like the wheel or neurosurgery. You will make a luminous circle on the ground and once you’ve finished you’ll report back to me,”

Nero looked from the children to Genghis. Genghis growled under his breath. “Isn’t it time for your little light to shine?” he asked the Vice Principal.

“Oh!” Nero said happily. “You’re right! I just need a few minutes to rosin my bow,”

Genghis looked at Nero in disgust. “Ew… don’t say that in front of the children,” he commented as Nero began to walk away.

Violet set Sunny to the ground and stared intensely at Olaf. She took the paint can from Klaus’ arms, handing her brother the paintbrush.

“Go on! What are you three waiting for?” Genghis asked blowing his whistle in Violet’s face.

The three siblings looked at one another in confusion. “Come on,” Violet called out to her younger siblings as she walked a few feet from Genghis.

“What are we really doing?” Klaus asked nervously.

“I...I don’t know,” Violet admitted. “Just follow my lead,”

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susieskinner93 · 5 years

Text

Happy Father’s Day

Ao3

“And Vic was really fine with it?” - asked Aaron biting his lips as they got in the car. It was father's day, and they wanted to spend the whole day with Seb... which was a bit difficult under these circumstances. They both knew this, but they couldn't be away from their little boy on this day.

“I asked her at least 5 times. She said it was okay... that we should go. But you were there, you know this.”

“I know it's just... “

“Diane's gonna come over. I already spoke to her.”

“Okay then.” - he sighed. - “I can't wait to see his little face.” - smiled Aaron already thinking about all the mischief they're gonna get up to.

“I know me too. It was a great idea.” - said Robert already imagining themselves by the pool.

“He loves the water.” - mumbled Aaron. It was true, he really did. Last summer they went to the Hotten Pool more than they could count on both hands, just because Seb loved being in the pool.

"I can't wait to drink an ice cold beer.”

“Alright let us get there first.” - laughed Aaron. - “Do you think he's impatient?” - he asked referring to Seb.

“I hope so, I know I am.”

“That's because you're practically a child.”

“Thanks very much.” – he laughed – “You know how she said he was fussy in the past few days?” - he asked Aaron. Of course he remembered, they had to video call Rebecca at one point because Seb was crying for hours and he wouldn't want to settle for anyone. That was until he saw his daddies, and after a “pep talk” from daddy Aaron, he was good as gold. Nobody knew how he did it. Not even Aaron himself.

“He settled quickly though... after the call I mean.”

“Yeah, because you, husband, are a baby whisperer.” - smiled Robert.

“I'm not.” - blushed Aaron.

“Okay then, explain it to me. Explain it how you managed to get him to sleep within 2 minutes. Just accept the facts alright. You're his favorite.” - said Robert and he meant it. Aaron and Seb seemed to have a bond like no other. And he was grateful for that.

“He doesn't have a favorite Robert... “ - answered Aaron rolling his eyes.

“Alright, we'll see.” - he said smirking. He wasn't upset by it, on the contrary. He adored how much his son loved Aaron. It was something that could always make him smile.

They spent the bare minimum at the house, wanting to get to the pool as soon as possible, but they had to listen to Rebecca's rambling about how she hasn't slept a wink because of Seb. He was crying all night for days now, and of course, he didn't care if Rebecca and Ross wanted to have some sleep. Obviously, in the morning he was the perfect little angel, napping for hours, being adorable, but she never got to see this because of work. So she was really exhausted and didn't mind one bit when Robert called her to take Seb away for the whole day. Ross looked even worse, and he still had that bite on his hand that Seb gave him 4 days ago. Robert wanted to laugh in his face when he told them, but he resisted the urge... barely.

“Do you think.... forget it.” - said Aaron as they headed to Hotten with Seb happily mumbling away in the backseat.

“What?” - asked Robert taking his eyes off the road for a second to look at Aaron – “Think what?”

“It's just... it seems like Seb doesn't really like... Ross...” - it wasn't exactly what he wanted to say, but Robert's next words made his angst go away.

“Or his mum.” - chuckled Robert. And that was exactly what Aaron wanted to say, but he felt like he couldn't. - “I mean I'm not saying she's a bad mum, but... I noticed that she's struggling sometimes.” - Aaron didn't answer to that, just kept on looking at Robert. Robert felt his gaze and stole a look, confirming what he's already suspected – “You wanted to say this didn't ya? I mean for real.”

“Okay yeah...” - he sighed not even trying to deny it. Why would he? – “It's just... as you said, I noticed it too. I think he's missing us.”

“I know, but... with this whole thing with Vic... I just don't think it's a good idea for him to stay over for long.”

“I know... I know.” - he said as he turned to look at Seb – “I just miss him so much when he's not there.”

“Me too.” - said Robert patting Aaron's thigh.

“DADA!” - they heard Seb.

“Alright, buddy we're gonna be there soon.” - said Robert looking at his son in the rearview mirror. - “It's a bit hot, can you give him his sippy cup?” - he asked Aaron.

“Yeah sure.” - he said already searching for it. That's how they spent the whole car ride. Making sure Seb was happy and content, and just enjoying their time together.

“How's the water Sebby? You like it?” - asked Aaron as he watched his husband splashing water at Seb. The little boy laughed so much, mirroring his father's actions, trying to get some water in his face as well. It was adorable to see, and Aaron couldn't help the smile on his face. He sat there at the edge of the pool for a couple of minutes more, before he gave in to Robert's invite.

“Finally.” - he whispered when Aaron got there pulling him to his side. The water was chest-high, so Seb was in his little swim ring. He was sitting in it like a king, without a care in the world. The water was still fascinating for him, and when he noticed no more splashing from his dads, he took matters into his tiny hands, trying to cause a scene. Robert's lips barely touched Aaron's when they heard their son, wanting attention.

“Exactly like his daddy.” - smirked Aaron – “ ...always wanna be in the centre of attention.... don't ya?” - he laughed swinging him around.

“Having fun?” - asked Robert as he rested his chin on Aaron's shoulder, looking at Seb, making funny faces at him.

“Yeah, we really do.” - answered Aaron as he bumped Seb's nose, letting him catch his hand in the process. Robert noticed how at ease was Aaron, and it was relieving. He kept his shirt on, but he wasn't the only one, and nobody seemed to be bothered about it. Robert was worried they might get some dirty looks because no matter how open-minded people were these days, there were always one or two arseholes wanting to ruin their fun. Not today it seemed.

Seb was pouting when they removed him from the pool. He was in it for hours, he needed to get out. They wanted to grab a bite, and maybe he didn't feel it now, but Seb needed his nap. Aaron dried him off, ruffling his hair with the towel, making him giggle. Then they agreed to eat something. They even got ice cream afterwards, and watching Seb trying to eat ice cream was one of the funniest things in the world. He looked like a little monster.

“Wait a second.” - said Robert to Aaron before he jumped up from his seat, only to return minutes later with a lemon.

“What's that?”

“Come on Aaron... it's a lemon. You should know.” - he laughed.

“No you idiot, I know what it is, I don't know why you got it.”

“Remember all those videos we watched like months ago? Where babies were eating lemon for the first time? It was so funny.”

“No.” - he said shaking his head. - “You're not gonna give that to him.” - he chuckled.

“Why not? Come on. It's gonna be funny, you can take a video.”

“Robert, I mean it, you can't do that to him.” - said Aaron laughing already, as he reached out to stroke Seb's little hand. He was unaware of this whole show, he just kept looking at his dads, not knowing what was going on.

“You wanna try this right Seb?” - asked Robert as he sat down next to the high chair. His tone was too convincing for a little kid, so Seb obviously started nodding. - “See? He wanna try it.”

“He's gonna cry.”

“It's a good thing I have the baby whisperer here with me then.” - he winked. Aaron only rolled his eyes, licking his ice cream.

“Go on then.” - he sighed finally.

“Here, just make sure to get it all on camera.” - grinned Robert as he tossed his phone over the table.

“The things I do for ya.” - mumbled Aaron, but Robert heard it.

“Ready?”

“Yeah, go for it.” - he smiled as he shook his head again. It's gonna end in tears... at least he was convinced about it.

Robert prepared the lemon before he slowly reached it out to Seb. - “Come on try it.” - he said with the biggest smirk on his face. Seb took it from him, then licked it, and as soon as he had that sour taste in his mouth, his little face started twitching. That was before he started coughing a bit, but he still kept on licking it. - “I think he likes it.” - laughed Robert.

“And I think that's enough.” - said Aaron, but he still hasn't stopped recording. - “Come on get it away from him.”

“Alright, alright.” - said Robert trying to get the lemon back from his son. It took a couple of minutes before he could achieve that because Seb seemed to like it. In fact, he liked it so much they had to buy a lemon ice cream afterwards, just to prevent the crying.

“I can't believe it.” - laughed Aaron, rewatching the video.

“I honestly thought he's gonna hate it.”

“Then why did ya give it to him?” - asked Aaron shoving Robert away from his side.

“Ouch. It was fun wasn't it?” - he smiled.

“You're lucky he loved it.”

“I think someone wants to go back to the pool.” - said Robert nodding at Seb.

“I think he needs to have at least a little nap first. He's gonna fall asleep any minute, look at his face.” - true enough they were both right. Seb wanted to get back, but he was too tired to keep his eyes open. - “Come here, buddy.” - said Aaron taking him into his arms. - “We're gonna go back, but first, you gotta rest a bit, coz you can't go in there with a full stomach.” - he kept on talking and Robert kept on looking at them. He rested his chin on his hand, looking like a lovesick teenager as he was listening to his husband's soft voice.

“Robert? Robert?” - called Aaron, trying to not speak too loud.

“Yeah... what?” - he said shaking his head to get out of his daydream.

“He's nodded off.” - he whispered, looking at his lap. Seb was holding onto Aaron, his face buried in his chest, as he slept.

“Stay there, don't move.” - said Robert before he took a picture. Aaron wanted to protest but he was too late. - “There. My new background picture.” - smiled Robert showing it to him.

“It's cute.” - admitted Aaron. - “Happy father's day.” - he said reaching out with his free hand.

“Happy father's day.” - smiled back Robert, taking his hand in his, just for a moment before they got lost in watching Seb sleeping soundly.

#robron fic #my fic #robronsummer #happy father's day

17 notes · View notes

alegendarystudentwonderland-blog · 6 years

Text

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If I am 17/18 years old. The car is used from about year 2000 or 2003, costs me around $4,000. This is in NY CITY. If it's a Nissan Altima. Thank you.""

Cheap health insurance?

I have an account with a community clinic and i am eligible for a 90% discount and i have only had to go once for a sprained wrist. I cannot afford health insurance so the clinic ...show more

Do I need to purchase additional insurance for a rental car?

I have my own insurance with good coverages. I am going on vacation and renting a car. Do I need to purchase the additional rental car insurance that they always offer you? Will my car insurance cover me at all in the event of an accident?

Car insurance company gave me money why?

I got into a car accident and filed a injury claim the person behind me rear ended me as has progressive insurance. I met up with their adjuster to discuss feb injury claim. I have insurance so they are refunding my insurance company for my physical therapy. They also gave me a personal check for 750 as a sorry gesture. I have never heard of this? Why would they give me a personal amount of money ??

Help needed about insurance for '04 Mazda Rx-8!!!?

I'm THINKING about getting my first car as '04 Mazda Rx-8. The car I'm looking at has 32000 miles. But I read some reviews and it seems the car has some issues and having warranty is a right choice. How much would it cost to extend the warranty?

What are the cheapest car insurance companies in NJ for a new driver above 21 years old?

How to fine best insurance companies ?

Car insurance if im under 18?

how would it be and do i need insurance if i dont have a car but using my parents car?

How to get cheaper car insurance?

I'm 18 and want to get insured. How much would it be? I've been passed since July? What if I get my dad the registered keeper and me second driver? My mate she's 18 and she's got insurance. Come on, there must be a way!""

I NEED CAR INSURANCE.?

I am looking for car insurance for an 18 year old boy. Everything is so expensive. Does anyone recommend anything? I live in the New York area.

Car Insurance Question?

Hi, im 16 and 17 in August living in Ireland, and i'm thinking of buying either a Honda Civic 1999-2001 or a Honda integra 1998-2001 aswell, i'm a guy and i'm wondering how much it'll cost to insure either one of them, and also what car is better""

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Insurance for Pregnant Women?

hello does anyone know where I can find a low cost insurance that covers everything for pregnant women including doctor visits & delivery,,,in Southern California. Discard Medi-Cal & AIM, since i dont qualify :(""

Insurance with a permit?

so i have my permit, and i can now start driving on the road, so i was wondering if i need insurance for me. the car i'm gonna be driving is already insured, so do i need insurance for myself.""

How should I go about my insurance?

I just turned 18 in January. I have a 99 firebird in my name. I was wondering if I should go in my own policy, or can I go under my moms and possibly save money?( will I be saving money) And also an insuarance agent told me that I should get full coverage?! and its not worth it at my age? So should I just buy liability or Full. What insurance company should I go through for the cheapest prices""

Will a wrecked car make my insurance go up?

i am looking at buying a car. carfax shows it was in an accident and only reported minor damage. will MY insurance go up if i'm driving a car that has been in an accident before?

Cheap florida health insurance?

my wife and i want to have a child but cannot afford to pay for the complete doctors visit and all.. we do not qualify for medicaid what insurance that is affordable can we use?

Car insurance for a 17 year old?

Hi, ive just passed my driving test and now want a car. The plan was to buy a clio/corsa/punto as i thought they were cheap insurance. When i put them into car insurance comparers though its coming out at like 2500. Even thought im a lad i though it would be cheaper than this. Can anyone suggest where to go to get cheap car insurance or what car to buy were its cheap insurance or any tips any information is helpful thanks a lot xx""

Which Local Car Insurance has best price in Las Vegas?

I have done my research but would like to know which local car insurance has the best deals? Thanks you for your time.

""Just wondering about car insurance, registration, title, and license.?""

I'm from Nevada but moved to Colorado. My parents signed over the title to my car and are going to make me pay for insurance. I was wondering what I had to do to sort this all out. I was thinking I have to go to the DMV to get my license and officially change the name on the title, then go back to get insurance so I can go back to the DMV to get registration. Is that right? What are your thoughts? The DMV is closed right now which is why I'm asking here.""

Is Bike insurance cheaper then Car?

thinking of getting a bike cause where i live i dont really need a car and would love to have a bike but i dont got that good of a paying job im also 20 years old and i heard people under 25 have there bike insurance much higher then cars is this true

Car insurance question?

My car is currently under my parents name any under my parents insurance. It was a gift from my parents but we never bothered changing the ownership over and it wasn't a big deal since we live in the same home. I am planning on moving out soon, do I need to have the car put in to my own name to get my own insurance and to make it legal? I've heard that continuing to pay through their plan without living in there house would make it void. If I don't change my ID right away would it still count as me not living there?""

To get maturnity insurance or not?

I am currently 29 years old and just recently married. I have come to a decision I have to make on my health insurance. I am not planning on getting pregnant for at least the next 2 years. So do I or do I not take the maturnity insurance. It would be a differance of 140.00 a month! Crazy since I am on the pill trying not to get pregnant. But it is still possible to get pregnant on the pill, but highly unlikely. So my question is do I take it to be on the safe side or waive it until it gets closer to that time. Money is tight and I hate to sink money into something I will hopefully not need. Any views on the situation would be much appreciated. Thnx.""

Do I need to get a SR-22 in Texas?

I got arrested for a DWI and I have 40 days until my license gets suspended at which time I am supposed to get a work license. I understand I have to get a SR-22 but when do I need to do this? Does the court tell me to get a SR-22 or am I just supposed to know I need one and go out and get one?

Is there insurance for?

is there insurance for rabbits or is it just for cats and dogs? my rabbit is about 3 years old and want to get some insurance for her if i can.

On average how much is car insurance at 17?

on average for a ford ka 2000 a student girl driver (please dont recommend for me to go on go compare etc as i havent got the time thanks full points for best answer

Colorado Cheap auto insurance?

I'm just looking for like liability just so i can get the cheapest rate for now. Live in Colorado, Aurora 80011""

What does it take to commit a minor and how do you afford it if you don't have health insurance?

My uncle and aunt are struggling with my 16 year old cousin who suffers from anorexia and she will go up to 3 weeks without eating anything. I am not kidding she only drinks water and then she will slowly puree some fruit into her water again for about a week or two before she binges for a few days and then goes back to this cycle of starvation. She looks pale and has no energy. Her eyes are sunken in and she hides in her room. My aunt and uncle are immigrants and they don't speak english that well. They don't have a lot of money or health insurance and I have no idea what to do but they are asking me to help! I've never dealt with this type of situation before and I'm just thinking they should call an ambulance and maybe they'll commit her to some state institution? I've been googling this and I come across all kinds of conflicting information. How can she get help in the state of California and is there any way if they are not insured to pay for her treatment? Is there any state aid related to extreme cases of anorexia?

Is it possible to buy life insurance to insure the life of someone on death row?

Chances are, like in California, they'll just die of old age, so it's not that bad of a risk.""

Questions about car insurance?

Is it illegal for someone to drive someone else's car if they do not have car insurance, but their friend (who owns the car) does? What would happen if they got pulled over for a ticket . . . would there end up being a big problem? What about if they had an accident . . . would they be covered under their friend's insurance? And are there are some types of insurance that would cover an accident if it was caused by the uninsured friend of the insured car owner? Thanks so much :)!""

I live in Florida. Can I get renters insurance to protect my things if I live with my parents?

I should add that I'm not a student and 24 years old.

Where is the best place to get affordable dental care in portland oregon without insurance? Thank-you! ?

Car Insurance Quotes Please!!?

i have a nissan gtr r33 waiting for me to pass my test BUT what is insurance going to quote me?? -.-

Auto insurance renewal?

Hello all, My current auto insurance is ending next month and the renewal form just came in. Coincidently, I was offered a better deal from another auto insurance that was less than half of what I currently am paying. I called and check and it was the same coverage. My question is that do I need to let them know that I will not renew my current auto insurance with them? This is my first time planning on switching and I would like to know if there is any penalties or anything in general I should worry about.""

Named driver car insurance?

My dad purchased a car and added me as a named driver. I use the car whenever he doesn't use it but as a majority he covers more miles than I do, some weeks it's 50/50 usage others I use it not as much. My dad is the owner of the car and the policy holder. He received a call from the insurance people and because he said we use it 50/50 some weeks they have now given him 7 days left before they are going to cancel the insurance. He payed this in fully and is only 2 months in. He recieved no terms and conditions, are they aloud to do this? Please help as he is isn't clued up on this and we both need to use the car. We were told that we need separate insurance for the vehicle which seems ridiculous seen as that would be double the price and not make any sense. He has his own other vehicle which he uses for work and I only use the shared car when necessary. Thanks in advance for any help. Ryan""

Car Insurance - No claims question?

If you have been banned for a year, and are now back and allowed legally to drive, can you continue to use/put down your no claims bonus. For example, if you had 9 years, then were banned for a year, can you put the 9 down this year? Or does the ban wipe that out? As the ban wasn't a claim on the insurance, can it still be used? Does anyone know, or any ideas where I could check this out? Looking for quotes online and Im not sure which number to put in.""

""How much would it be if got allstate insurance for a new 2009 nissan altima. im 20yrs old, live with my parets?

my parents have allstate. this is my first car under my name.

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Best Term Insurance plan ? Should I take Term Insurance Plans ? I am of age 28 years ?

What are term insurance plans.. what do they cover, do they cover any accidental disability, or medical disability, or natural death or do they cover only sudden death like death from accident or murder or calamity death etc? Please elaborate. Also tell which are best term insurance plans in india ?""

""My car was damage in Hurricane Ike, will home insurance fix it?""

My car was on my drive way, and the fence smashed into it. in a since, if a car hit my car they have to pay, is the same concept done with a house insurance?""

What is a good estimate of the cost of insurance for a Mustang V6?

I am 16 and I have been looking at a manual transmission V6 Mustang for the past couple of years. I have looked around and I am aware of the typical prices that are being sold. I'm trying to focus on the 2007-2010 versions. The 2010 V6 Mustang is the version that has really caught my eye. I need to know how much I should expect to spend/save. Thank You.

Why does your motorcycle insurance ask whether you're married or single?

Why would this affect your insurance cost?

Adding newborn to insurance policy?

I have a family medical plan and added my son as a dependent 4 days after his birth online. I received a bill in the mail stating my son was uninsured so I called my insurance company. They stated it could take up to 4 weeks for processing. I followed their advice and now my son is out of the 30 day window and they are claiming I failed to check a box to enroll him in my family coverage. Trying to appeal. Am I out of luck?

How will a speeding ticket going 9 over affect me personally and insurance wise?

Hi, i just got my first speeding ticket going 9 over 40, the cop said usually it would not effect my insurance but if not how will it affect me? If i pay the ticket and not call my insurance will that be that and it will be over? Please help""

The best insurance for juniors?

i just turned 18 and i need to get new insurance any ideas????

Vw Lupo S insurance group 1.4L?

What insurance group would a 1.4L Lupo be in. Also roughly what price would it be in that group. Im 17 and after a quote with no modifications.

Is insurance for a classic car cheap or expensive?PLEASE ANSWER!!!!!!?

i have a 1968 ford Thunderbird i want to insure but i would use it as my daily driver. would insurance still be cheap?even though i would drive it everyday.

Car insurance questions?

Can you buy a car and not have to pay for car insurance? If you must have car insurance, can you use your parent's, like a family plan?""

Which company has the cheapest Car insurance for 16 year old drivers? I live in NC.?

How big will the difference be monetarily between owning a Honda s2000 or a $1000 old mazda?

Does the Affordable Health Care law really prevent insurance companies from denying pre-existing conditions?

They say that now, insurance companies can no longer deny insurance to people with pre -existing conditions. So what was HIPAA passed in 1996 for? This law states that insurance companies CAN NOT deny people with pre -existing conditions. The only change I see is it gets rid of the 12 month exclusion period. I had two aunts with lupus, both lived in California and had insurance, until they moved to Texas. If they could have kept their insurance, they would have, but for some odd reason liberals are against insurance across state lines. They had no problem finding insurance, they just had to be out of pocket for 12 months. HIPAA also states that if you can go six months without any medical visits, advice/procedures, insurance companies are not allowed to look further than that and must not apply the exclusion period. So did the Affordable Care Act really stop insurance companies from denying coverage for pre existing conditions, or was it ALREADY a law? http://www.dol.gov/ebsa/faqs/faq_consumer_hipaa.html""

What is the cheapest car to insure for first-time drivers?

I passed my test last November, and am looking to get a new car. However, every single car from Ford Fiestas and Vauxhall Corsas to Renault Clios and Citroen Saxos have come back for somewhere between 2500-3000, even some ridiculous quotes maxing 5000. I'd even settle for somewhere in the region of 1000-1500, and before you tell me, I know how expensive car insurance is... believe me. I'm 20 years of age and passed my test first time back in November if it makes any difference.""

How much is insurance rate on 97 camaro?

Do I need my own car insurance?

I just got my permit (i am 18) and I heard that as long as the person I am driving with has insurance that I will be covered if anything happens. I don't plan on wrecking a car but I want to be safe and I want to make sure that it is required by law that I have insurance. If i do need insurance I have no idea how to go about getting it because I have gotten quotes before and they will only give you a quote if you select that you currently have your license plus there is no option for only having a permit. I have my permit in the state of georgia if that means anything

I and my friend were thinking to buy a car. He is much older than me. How should we do insurance in this case?

In this case who should be primary driver on insurance policy? me or my friend? How does it matter in terms of insurance premium? My friend will be driving the car much more than me.

Car insurance for 2004 Mustang?

I'm looking at a silver 2004 Mustang with a manual transmission. I'm a 17 year old boy and my insurance is State Farm. About how much will my insurance be? Also, how much will registration and licensing cost?""

How much is car insurance and how much would car insurance on a mustang be how much would mustang I?

I am looking a used cars and I was wondering how much car insurance is and how much would a mustang be to insure.... Also I would be a first time driver and I live in pa if that makes a difference

Car Insurance: Fully Comprehensive or Third Party ?

Plain English please: what is the difference between FULLY COMPREHENSIVE and THIRD PARTY FIRE AND THEFT car insurance? I have an old ford escort.

Are auto insurance premiums negotiable?

They want me to pay the same rate I've been paying the last two years. Is the company/industry open to negotiating thru its phone agents? Anyone have success or is this company too big to do that sort of thing?

How much is your car insurance?

Just trying to get an idea of how much everyone pays...all my friends seem to pay less than me. I am 26, female. One speeding ticket and one DUI (in the state where I'm licensed)...both from 7 years ago. No accidents. I live in an urban area, a midwestern city with probably 200,000 people. I have a 2007 suzuki reno, base package, I have not made any insurance claims. The cheapest I've found is progressive at $110/month...I can't use places like The General or Safe Auto because my state doesn't allow it. When I get quotes from big companies, like state farm, the monthly cost is about $200...my coverage is probably fairly standard, if not on the low side, but meets state guidelines.""

Car insurance for 20 year old female?

I've been told a Ford KA is the cheapest to insure. So I've found a Ford KA Year 2000 1,3 ltr. Sale price is 660. 80,000 miles. I will be doing roughly 4 - 5,000 miles a year. I'm just a simple standard first time driver applicant... No convictions, health issues or NCB. Why are insurance companies quoting me over 5,000 a year online??? I'm 20, female and have just passed my test. 21 in august. What's the cheapest way to get insured?? 1ltr car??""

""How and how much for car inspection, title, insurance, and tags?""

I am getting a car from someone, and I need to know what all I need to do to get it registration (tags), it inspected, it with insurance, and with the title transfered over. The car is just sitting in a driveway right now with nothing on it, so how do I get everything I need done to it when it can't legally drive anywhere?""

""About car insurance, pls help?""

okay so heres my story, my dads the only one with auto insurance, mom doesnt drive, and im buying a car soon so if i sign the car under my dads name, does he become primary driver for both cars? or do i become 1 primary driver when im added onto his insurance, or can i be secondary driver with him being signed under both cars? pls help. and how much do you think it would add onto his insurance, im 18 and have my g2, never been insured, and im getting a 2004 acura rsx type s coupe thank you all""

Anyone here have car insurance with a company called 'Ladybird'?

How much insurance do you pay and on what car?

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