#i will remember and i will testify and i will hold on to this grudge and something in me will be dead forever along with the tree.

[peonyleaf]

my parents said they're cutting down or 20+ year old mango tree bc the neighbors are complaining. I'm gonna fuckingkillmyself

[sonik-kun]

Reminder that canon Jiang Cheng is:

- Self-sacrificing. There have been numerous examples in the book where JC is willing to lay down his life for his family and sect without a second thought. Charging at Wen Chao and Wen Zhuliu in the turtle cave. Stepping in front of his mother to protect her from the core melter hand. Distracting the Wen before they discovered WWX. Offering himself as a hostage in return for JL in the Guanyin Temple incident, etc.

- Fiercely protective of his family. The above bullet point elaborates on this part well. But I would also like to add that he is extremely protective of JL. He follows him on nighthunts and is the first person JL calls for whenever he is in trouble. The moment JL sends out a flare, JC is instantly in there, dropping everything for him.

- He allows JL to be a child. Despite the historic context and the stiff upper lip attitudes of that time period, JC allows JL to be a child still. He is spoilt rotten and never knew the same horrors those of his previous generation had to endure. JC does all he can to keep him safe from that to prevent similar incidents from happening again. He also allows JL to healthily express his emotions and never once scolds him for crying. The moment he sees him upset, he's in there soothing him, ready to throw hands with whoever hurt him.

- He doesn't use corporal punishment methods on JL despite it being the norm of that society. JL explains this to WWX who was shocked to discover that JC doesn't punish JL, despite his threats. JL is horrified by the notion and is very comfortable and secure around his uncle. Secure enough to give him sass even, something JC would never dreamed of doing to his elders.

- He is an excellent and attentive leader. He built his sect from the ground up and recruited people on his own all whilst he was still a teenager, still recovering from trauma and torture. He brought his sect back from the brink of annihilation and built it back up as a major sect on very minimal experience with little next to no guidance.

- He's politically savvy. From a young age, he was always socially aware of everything, valuing the safety of his sect and family above everything else. He correctly predicted WWX's downfall and tried so much to warn him and save him from it. Powerless in that moment, he chose his sect over WWX in fear of them being annihilated a second time should he side with him. WWX understood and respected this, so defected of his own accord.

- He still believed in WWX and held onto hope for him, even when things were looking bleak. Despite WWX siding with the Wen, the sect that almost annilihated his own, JC allowed WWX to go with them and remained friends up until WWX inadvertently got JZX and JYL killed. He still allowed WWX to see his sister and even name his nephew. They visited each other in secret regularly despite the risks of being caught, and JC tried to defend him even in the face of the three most strongest sects. He wasn't successful, but he tried.

- He is more reasonable and level-headed than the rumours lead you to believe. We see this when the prostitute comes to testify about JGY. He calmly considers her word and everything she has to say. Not once was he rude or snappy with her. He also remembers his etiquette and addresses elders with manners and respect. He may at times be quick to anger, but he is also quick to calm himself down and conduct himself properly as we see in his first scene where he lets "MXY" go, despite being a practicing demonic cultivator.

- He let's WWX go in the end. The moment he learns the truth about everything and that WWX wasn't entirely guilty for everything everyone accused him of, JC drops all feelings of aminosoty towards him. He doesn't blame him, nor does he actively pursue him anymore and demand he answers for his "crimes." JC got all the answers he wanted from him and instead of holding on to grudges and resentment, he let WWX go to be happy with LWJ, despite clearly wanting him to come back to Lotus Pier. He understands and respects that WWX is ready to move on and start a new life with LWJ. It hurts him, but he respects that decision.

There are many more positive traits I could discuss here, but I'll be here all day if I did.

JC is a nuanced character with a lot of flaws, but he also has a lot of positives that make his character realistic and relatable but also very likeable. He is a traumatised man with a troubled past, but he never allowed it to truly bring him down. He persevered, built up his sect, and raised a nephew with a pure heart. I think it's safe to say that despite his problems and despite everything he has gone through, JC is a survivor with a strong heart. He has a lot of admirable traits that you mustn't ignore or deny if you truly wish to enjoy and appreciate his character.

[defire]

Back to the Dregs Part 9

Part 1 Next

Content: forced to watch, ptsd triggered, manhandling, humiliation, suicidal ideation, mild gaslighting, memories of child abuse

It was Morgan. His mouth opened slightly as he looked at Michael's wincing, bruised face close up, glancing at the bruises on his chest and arms momentarily.

"Michael..." He said.

Michael was still out of breath from repressing groans of pain and hyperventilating.

He focused his gaze on Morgan.

Michael had thought Morgan had peaked and failed in the looks department, but at twenty-five, Morgan looked sharper, tougher, and stronger than ever. Looking at him for the first time in four years, Michael now remembered just how much he hated him.

He watched Morgan's typically-unreadable face. He was mouthing something. Michael couldn't read it. "Sorry"? That couldn't be it. All he could se when he looked at Morgan was the memory of the hard grip on his arm and throat, holding him to the floor as Mr. Huer burnt the soles of his feet with a poker.

He'd screamed at Morgan to let him up, but no, Morgan was a good boy for his daddy. Michael found a snarl spreading over his face.

"Morgan..." He growled.

"Hey, ashtray." Morgan's frown became a sneer.

Michael's heart thudded and he jerked forward at the laptop, screaming, "I'll kill you, Morgan! I will crawl out of this hole and kill you! I will kill you for what you did to me!"

Morgan's sneer faltered slightly.

Then he swallowed, smiled again, and said one of his classic asshole-Morgan lines.

"Will you, though?" And cut off the damn call.

Michael sat back, dazed, half numb from hyperventilating. Pulses of pain still stabbed up at every little gasp in, and his arms burned at every single mark.

They covered both arms like hives.

People were around him again. He was scared, but so out of it that his body wasn't responding. Someone touched the wound on his leg and he was back with a wince.

He jerked his head around to see Jordie and Chris. Chris was standing, so Jordie had poked him.

"What was that, Michael?" Pete said sternly. "Do you not want to be rescued?"

Michael didn't answer.

"Also," Jordie grabbed him by the hair on the top of his scalp and yanked his head back so he was looking at Pete. "Son of a bitch gave away our location."

Michael glared at Pete.

"So are you going to kill me now?" He tried to look brave, but he swallowed.

"I wouldn't have to kill you if you didn't blow your chances with Morgan Huer."

Michael gritted his teeth. He was still fuming. Ashtray. Of all things. Nothing could be a more concrete way of saying "I did nothing wrong, and you are worthless."

"Cooperate, Michael." Pete said. "And we won't have to kill you yet."

Jordie let go of his hair.

Michael forced himself to focus outside of his own mental mess. Pete was scowling at him, but the others were looking at each other, meaning they weren't surprised by Pete's declaration. They believed they still needed him.

"Alright, then can I... please... have some painkiller or something." Michael said in a low tone. "My leg is killing me, man."

"I wouldn't have had to shoot you if you didn't try to run." Pete said. "So no. No painkillers."

Michael ground his teeth, biting back angry retorts. His skin burned harder, hotter. It felt like being punished, and his arms testified against him.

Shame. It made him want to kill himself. It was crushing. And it emanated from the burns on his arms. He didn't even feel worthy to speak. All he wanted was his fucking shirt.

And it was shredded.

Chris did most of the work getting Michael back to bed, Jordie taking the other side.

He didn't hurt Michael on the way back. He seemed to have forgotten his grudge for the moment. As the ypulled him to the bed, Michael struggled, trying to lay on his back.

"Face-down, Michael, come on," Chris urged. "I still have to tend to your wound."

"Don't fucking touch me." Michael said raggedly.

"Don't put your hands on me."

"Don't be an idiot." Jordie shoved him, forcing him down.

Michael landed chest-first on the solid mattress with a grunt.

"Michael, it'll be easier for you if you just let me treat you." Chris said.

"Ugh, don't threaten me," Michael moaned. "Just let me die. If it's all the same."

He heard the two of them whispering and then Jordie left. His spine prickled with anxiety. Then the door closed, leaving Michael alone with Chris.

Michael braced himself, fingers clawing into palms at his back. It's always the soft ones that do it. The soft ones are the real predators.

"Look, whatever you're goign to do to me, I-I'm not interested," He tried not to sound like he was begging. "Just..." He took a breath, as another shudder of pain went up his body.

"I'm not gonna do anything to you." Chris said. "Sorry for freaking out back there. I thought you had something in your sleeves."

Michael didn't answer.

"Here, I know it's hot, but..." Chris picked up the blanket from the ground. "Want this? I can cover you up."

"I can do my leg." Michael ground out, trying to ignore the kind offering. "Just free my hands. I'm going to get nerve damage if you keep doing this to me."

"I can't let you do your own leg." Chris said.

"You afraid I'm going to kill you the moment I get my hands free?"

"I can't, alright?" Chris huffed. "Now it's me or nothing, alright? Please just calm down for a minute."

Michael crushed down the nausea, the rage, the pain, and finally the fear, till all he was left with was the gaping hole of shame that he was.

"You care?" He rasped.

"Yeah, unfortunately."

"Then, can I have a shirt?" Michael's voice broke on the last word, a sob racking his aching body.

"...Yeah, I'll find you one."

"With long sleeves."

"Sure." Chris said. "You, uh... You wanna talk about it?"

"No."

Chris sighed.

"Okay fine. And... uh..." He was digging around in his pockets, voice lowering to a whisper. "Can you... swallow without water?"

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

Chris's heavy fingers crossed Michael's vision as he set something down in front of his face.

"It's, uh... Codeine."

"I thought... Pete said..." Michael looked at him out of the corner of his vision.

Chris sent him an anxious smile.

"Please... don't let on."

"Oh. Got it." Michael said.

"I'll be right back, okay? Don't move."

As if I could, Michael thought, planting his mouth over the pill in the bed and doing his best to swallow it.

Chris had come back with a hoodie and t-shirt, which he set beside the bed as he went to work on the entry wound in Michael's calf.

"It's okay," Chris said again.

"It's really not," Michael muttered.

"Okay, you can roll over." Chris said.

Squishing onto his hands was going to make those bruises so much worse.

"Chris, give me a break, I'm not going to hurt you... I'm not stupid enough to try to run." Michael gritted his teeth, hating that he was begging again. "Just cut loose my hands, man."

Chris sighed.

"If you do run, they'll kill you. You know that, right?"

Michael groaned.

"I'm not that stupid. Just cut the zip tie, man."

He pressed his face into the mattress as the sound of a pocket knife clicking open sent another jolt of panic through his brain, making the back of his neck itch nad sting again like that day in the phone booth. The zip tie pressed in against his bruised wrists, hard, then popped open with a jolt that made him hiss in mixed pain and relief.

He rolled over heavily, gently massaging around the bruises that were only going to get worse when they put the manacle back on.

Michael pulled on the clothes Chris had brought as Chris watched anxiously. The moment he did, he felt a sense of relief wash over him. His arms were covered.

The stitches hardly hurt at all as Chris closed the exit wound. But his leg kept twitching all the way up his thigh.

"See, there, it's not so bad," Chris was saying.

"I knew a lady that used to say that all the time," Michael said.

"Yeah?" Chris hummed.

"Yeah. My first foster mom." Michael said. "Her husband would come home from work, he had these fits, you know? Sometimes he was in a mood. He'd shove the closest thing across the room and stomp away, leaving her to pick up the pieces."

Chris threw him a frown, but didn't reply, though he seemed a bit more hurried.

"She'd make a show of dusting off the kid and standing them up. Then she'd say 'that wasn't so bad, was it?'" Michael glanced at Chris, then back at the ceiling. "Everybody, me included, wished she would've just left him."

Chris cleared his throat.

"Well, there you are." He patted the wound mindlessly, though Michael didn't feel it too much. "All good."

He walked up closer to Michael's head, hesitated, then asked,

"What was that on your neck? Was that a surgical scar?"

Michael swallowed, then got up on his elbows with a grunt.

"I noticed you didn't mention it to the others."

"No," Chris didn't look at him.

"Thank you." Michael said. "It's just another bad memory."

"It felt like letters." Chris said.

They were.

[Fyi this story is going to gradually get more intense, as you do, but the tags may not reflect that since they're so generalized. I'll do my best to tag it but yeah, it's going to get more and more intejse.]

@fleur-a-whump @watermelons-dont-grow-on-trees @whumped-by-glitter @whump-writings @mimostic @tildeathiwillwrite

Taglist:

[lovingoverwatchguys]

From the Valkyrie story and a couple other things, it seems like Mercy doesn’t like Jack much. And in that story, Jack seems to disregard her opinions entirely. Not even arguing with them, just barely even paying attention. It left me the question on how he feels about her.

Then I remembered something. In the aftermath of the explosion, not only did Mercy testify against Overwatch, but she also said Reyes and Morrison were fighting. Whether she intended it or not, that was definitely used in the vilification of Reyes in the future.

And that makes me wonder if Jack doesn’t like her because of that. 

I’m sure this goes without saying, but The Reyes Thing is a deep personal scar for Jack, and I doubt he appreciates anyone speculating on their relationship from the outside, especially if it’s going to be used negatively. It’s not entirely clear how close Jack and Angela were at any point, but she certainly isn’t close enough to be allowed much insight into his most personal relationships, so I’m sure he’d find this presumptuous at best.

I also have always thought Jack feels disgusted by the media narrative that came out after his faked death (hence his consistent insistence that he ‘isn’t a hero’ and etc etc). I might go deeper into this elsewhere, but in general, the uplifting of an image he found completely artificial just confirms his negative viewpoints on society in general. So contributing to that would likely get someone put on Jack’s shitlist instantly. 

I think that in Jack’s mind, saying things like this is a personal betrayal. I’d be surprised if he ever trusted her again. I don’t think it’s fair of him to feel that way (although I would be mad too, just not as mad as he is, lol), but Jack is not exactly reasonable about his trauma. It’s clear that Jack has certain narratives he uses to keep himself going - one of those being the putting of others into strict categories of ‘good’ and ‘bad’, ‘safe’ and ‘not safe’ - and I think that if he views someone as helping this propaganda, then they’re going to be put on the ‘not safe’ list.

So...yeah, while I do think Jack has no real ill will towards most of the old Overwatch, I wouldn’t be surprised if he holds a grudge against Mercy. Maybe that’ll be explored in the future.

[megashadowdragon]

www . reddit . com/r/camphalfblood/comments/sxczuc/why_tantalus_pjo/

why tantalus

(This is a long one folks)

There’s a question I always had in Sea of Monsters, who decided to put Tantalus in charge of anything? Reading it again, here are my thoughts. The explanation, Dionysus is smarter than we give him credit for.

First off, I’m 99% positive that Dionysus’ hand was forced in the decision to boot Chiron. This is for a few reasons. First off, why would Dionysus want to boot the competent guy who makes his life a little more bearable? booting Chiron would give Dionysus more work to do.

Second, Dionysus is a young god. Wayyyy younger than the rest. He even admits in TTC that he’s not been around long and doesn’t know/care much about all the Titan lore. If Dionysus tried to defend Chiron and testify his innocence, the other gods would tell him that he was too young to know all the details and that his opinion was invalid. Honestly, half of Olympus probably still see Dionysus as a teenager.

Third, he actually knows Chiron. He worked with him for years and was also a former student of his. He knows from first hand experience that Chiron is a cool guy and a good teacher. He would know that Chiron would never do something like that.

Now, why would the replacement be someone from the fields of punishment? Why not someone who is qualified or you know, alive? Dionysus could have called up Quintus, or literally anyone. Why would a dead person be the go to option. What follows may shock you. You know how in Last Olympian how Nico got a skeleton chauffeur as a gift from Hades? Hades loves giving gifts to his children, it’s probably his love language. What if I told you that Dionysus is also a child of Hades? I know what you’re thinking, ‘but Mort, Dionysus is a son of Zeus. He was literally born from Zeus’ thigh.’ That is true, but remember Dionysus was born twice. What was his first birth?

In some versions the first time he was born to Persephone and Hades as Zagreus. When Zagreus was still a baby a prophecy went around that he would kill Zeus. Zeus took it well for some reason and decided he wanted to be a cool uncle. Hera did not see it the same way, so she released the titans from Tartarus and told them to kill baby Zag. They took Zag and tore him to shreds. Though born a god, his body was young and too mutilated to reform. But everyone knew if the heart was found, my Zagreus could be reborn. After a great search the heart was declared destroyed. It turned out Zeus found the heart. He took it and hid it away in a box, where it remained for years. Then, when he fell in love with Semele, he decided to use the heart to conceive a child. He slipped the heart in some mean soup he made and gave it to her. Why? Maybe he felt responsible for Hera’s actions and wanted to make things right. Maybe he thought this would give him more control of the prophecy, who knows. What matters is that he did it and that Dionysus has two bio fathers and two bio mothers.

It’s clear in Dionysus’ personality and abilities that this is true. He holds grudges like Hades and inherited his coldness. He has plant powers like Persephone, has the same personality, and inherited the ability to take punishments to the next level. My point is, Hades is one of Dionysus’ dads. Hades would not allow one of his dead guys to leave on an order from Olympus. The only way he would allow it was if the dead person was leaving to serve one of his children. And since we know Hades gifts dead people to his children it’s safe to say Hades was like, “Hey son, you wanna come downstairs and pick a new activities director? You can pick anyone you want.” And Dionysus was all like, “Aww dad, a corpse? You shouldn’t have.”

Why the fields of punishment? Maybe Hades was feeling generous and wanted to offer one of the guys a break. Or maybe he thought it would be funny to let them exchange one punishment for another. But it is heavily implied Dionysus picked out Tantalus. But why?

Dionysus picked out Tantalus for many reasons. First, he knew Tantalus would be easily manipulated. Due to Tantalus’ punishment, he is unable to eat or drink. Hunger and hydration is one of the easiest tools of manipulation. And Dionysus is seen distracting Tantalus with food and drinks on multiple occasions. This simple distraction would be a tool to prevent him from causing any real harm.

Second, Tantalus is gullible. Even though Dionysus wasn’t alive when the Tantalus shenanigans went down, it’s pretty easy to tell the guy wasn’t very bright. Imagine ticking off the gods twice on food related offences, how stupid do you have to be? It’s not like he said the wrong thing or messed up some etiquette, he literally tried to A: steal their food, and B: cannibalise his son. The man had chances and he missed them. Dionysus knew this guy was a moron and played his cards right. Remember folks, Dionysus is not only the god of wine, but he’s also the god of theatre. Thus making him the greatest actor of all time. He acts like he’s Tantalus’ friend and buddy. Makes him think that they’re on the same side. He manipulates Tantalus into thinking he has real power. Tantalus reinstates the chariot races, Dionysus goes with it because it gives Tantalus the illusion of authority. Making tantalus think he has a big important job was another way for Dionysus to keep him out of the way. So Dionysus could run the camp to the best of his abilities. And you can tell by the end of the book, the wine-dude is exhausted.

The third reason, Tantalus is horrible. Tantalus is disgusting, a terrible person, and a terrible instructor. Dionysus picked him because he was terrible, but not dangerous enough to cause real harm to the children. Dionysus knew if the replacement was awful it would eventually cause enough godly parental complaints to get Tantalus fired and Chiron reinstated. That is why Dionysus did not call up Quintus or choose a qualified dead person. He wanted his horse-man back.

So yeah, this is my hot take. Dionysus is no idiot. And for tantalus, the game was rigged from the start.

[itsyourchoicedevotionals]

Relationship, Relationship, Relationship

“Let a man [thoroughly] examine himself, and [only when he has done] so should he eat of the bread and drink of the cup. …That [careless and unworthy participation] is the reason many of you are weak and sickly, and quite enough of you have fallen into the sleep of death.” 1Corinthians 11:28, 30AMPC

Is anyone aware, there are certain sins which attract and cause illnesses, especially illness unto death? Basically, these sins open the doors to satan, saying, ‘Come on in.’

What are the sins which invite illness? Breaking Jesus Christ’s laws, the laws of love. We need to see what the Word has to say about this. — “But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” Matthew 6:15NIV. Understanding there was the thief on the cross experience, other than blasphemy of Holy Spirit, I’m not aware of any sin Father God won’t forgive. Why is He so harsh about forgiveness? I believe it’s because He’s forgiving us of all sin, of which there’s a multitude. He’s telling us to forgive something much less in significance than torturing and brutally crucifying our child on top of all our other sins.

— “But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too” Mark 11:25NLT. This is the second witness to the importance Yahweh God places on forgiveness. I heard a newly saved man testifying to the Lord healing him of an incurable disease. He testified Holy Spirit led him to write down everyone who had ever hurt-offended him and what they did. Then He instructed them to forgive and release each person for what they’d done to him. His body is disease free today.

— “Jesus replied: “’Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’” Matthew 22:37NIV. Half-hearted love for God comes from not protecting oneself through reading the Bible, praying and becoming intimately acquainted with Yahweh.

— “And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself’” Matthew 22:39NIV. Love is a word which gets applied to many sorts of emotions such as; like, or enjoy. This love for your neighbor means not purposely harming; seeking only their good; caring for them in their need as we would care for our own needs.

— “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another” John 13:34NIV. Christ laid down His life for His church. We must lay down personal preferences, opinions, and goals for the good of all Believers.

— “…if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift” Matthew 5:23-24ESV. We’ve heard it said about being in the right place… location, location, location. Jesus is all about relationship, relationship, relationship, because it means loving others.

— “…as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them” Luke 6:31ESV. Again, Jesus is stressing the importance of loving others, this time in the way we treat them. This is towards Believers and non-believers.

When we examine ourselves before communion, these laws of Jesus must be in the forefront of our minds. He wants what is best for us all in our relationships, and lives. Jesus knows satan will sneak through this open door bringing illness leading to death. Will you examine yourself? It’s your choice. You choose.

LET’S PRAY: Papa God we know You always seek what’s best for ALL of us, not just for our personal desires. Please help us to love as You love and forgive as You forgive, in the name of Jesus Christ I pray.

by Debbie Veilleux Copyright 2024 You have my permission to repost this devotional for others. Please keep my name with this devotional, as author. Thank you.

[saiyef]

My Persona Headcanons:

FeMC and Shinjiro died together in the roof in their ending (FeMC from Nyx’s Seal and Shinjiro from Strega’s drugs).

Takemi treated Joker’s injuries after the interrogation.

Due to Orpheus’s heavy association with music, I headcanon that the P3 Protagonist had a musical background, explaining how he can play the violin if he picks the Music Club for Keisuke’s Social Link. And, based on that, that his parents were driving him home after a violin recital before their car crash and he gave up the violin due to his grief (similar to how Orpheus could only play sad songs after his wife’s death), and decided to try playing again because he found out Fuuka was in the Music Club.

Bebe became a famous fashion designer in France, naming his clothing line after the P3 Protagonist to honour him and Ann models his clothes.

Tanaka has actually been depressed for years by the P3MC’s death.

Yu Narukami got PTSD from Nanako getting kidnapped then temporarily dying and seeing his friends sacrifice themselves to protect him from Izanami during the final boss fight; coming into effect during Yu’s Story Mode in Persona 4 Arena, where General Teddie and the false illusions of his friends lied to him about Nanako being kidnapped inside the TV World again, and in Persona 4 Arena Ultimax’s P4 Story Mode when Minazuki kept targeting his attacks at Yosuke and Chie forcing Yu to shield them.

During Persona Q2, Joker tells the Male and Female P3 Protagonists about how he was blamed for a crime he didn’t commit and was sent away from home, reminding the two of them of Chihiro and Saori and how they were misblamed due to false rumours of things they didn’t do plus how Saori’s parents sent her away.

Akechi kept tabs and stalked Joker while he was ranking up his Confidants, figuring out that some of the Confidants knew that Joker was a Phantom Thief when Maxed Out. This made Akechi hate and envy Joker even more as Joker’s Confidants knew and accepted who Joker really was, while in comparison Akechi always had to keep his true self hidden from his fans and Shido and knew, that if either found out, his fans would scorn and reject him and Shido would kill him.

Due to P5’s theme of maintaining the facade of “living an honest student life”, I have a personal headcanon that Joker is a talented actor and that he used to be part of of his old school’s drama club and was so good he joined a theatre troupe before he was arrested. He was looking forward to joining Shujin’s drama club before Kamoshida leaked his criminal record online and gave up as being in school made him uncomfortable.

I headcanon that Shido ordered Kobayakawa to enrol Joker at Shujin specifically to leak Joker’s criminal record online (because, let’s face it, Shido devotes all his efforts to make to everyone’s lives miserable), and Kobayakawa then ordered Kamoshida to do it because he was too lazy to do it himself.

I headcanon that Joker planned to move away from his old hometown as soon as possible because he thought none of his family and friends gave statements to the police or testified in his trial that he isn’t a violent person, holding a grudge against them during his probation. One year later, Sae and Ohya tell him that they found out there were in fact statements from them that defended but the police covered them up on Shido’s orders. He is touched and wants to go back to see who defended him.

A jokey headcanon here, but I believe that Igor forbids the attendants from love, kissing and sex because he can’t do it due to his grotesque appearance.

Dojima and/or Chisato (Nanako’s Mother and Dojima’s wife) actually used to use the gardening plot next to the house before Nanako was born and/or when Nanako was too little to remember, but stopped at some point, and Yu and Nanako using the garden to grow vegetables made Dojima nostalgic for those days.

(Inspired by Ichiban Kasuga from a Yakuza: Like a Dragon) In response to Maruki, Joker responds by asking Maruki to start over again after losing everything, just like Joker did with his assault charge; saying how it felt like the person he was before going to Tokyo is dead and he started a living a brand new life as a completely different person and, after having his life and future stolen away from him, he wants to help Maruki start over like he did after having Rumi stolen away from him, even if it is painful. This touches all of the Phantom Thieves when they leave Maruki’s reality, thinking about how they have to start all over again now that the Metaverse is gone; in particular: Ryuji, after having his future in track taken away from him by Kamoshida, wanting to take physiotherapy to restart taking track; Sumire, now more determined to start over again with gymnastics; Futaba, now more determined to start living as a high school student; And Yusuke decides to visit Madarame in prison, wanting to start over again with him. 

[codylabs]

What is a Human?

And what makes them special, among all the peoples?

It's not an easy question to answer. Especially since every human would tell you that humans are pretty much normal. I suppose any true answer would depend on who you ask.

To the Fairies,

A Human is a creature of great power, and great intelligence. Too massive to trade their feet for wings, they walk in strides the width of cities, wielding great tools, leaving deep footprints, thinking high thoughts. Their lives are impossibly long; they are known to possess the knowledge and fortitude to survive entire winters, and have such an abundance of time that they can even waste it. Their childhood and even their schooling can last for years, and in their adulthood they do not die, but age like the trees. Humans are mighty. And yet, they must not to be trusted, for they are alien to these lands, and at a gesture and a whim, could destroy the forest and all the world. They have no mind for the good of any hive, and they care not for laws. Humans are dangerous.

To the Merfolk,

A human is a creature of weakness. They have no honor, and no honesty, and no pride, and really, how could they, when they know nothing of hardship? Nature has been unfailingly kind to them; their summers are warm, their monsters are small, and their winters are short. They stay in place all their lives in bright little homes, feeding ooze to soft children, while their men grow boney and their women grow plump, with never a need to migrate, and never a need to fight. They cannot swim. They cannot smell. They cannot wrestle. They cannot punch. They can barely eat. Still, a human cannot be blamed for being what it is, and they are not all bad. The very fact that they made it here, so far from their home, can testify to their daring, and their tenacity, and their ingenuity. And there are a few which are honorable, and a few which are honest, and most of them are friendly enough. People who have lived among Humans have found them in many ways quite like us, so that they even share our virtues and our flaws. Some have even intermarried. Noble, not so noble. Different, not so different. For now we share a common enemy.

To the Leviathan,

A Human is an industrious and willful little critter. Their short lives are spent in restless rush from task to task, with hardly a pause to eat or sleep. Their societies are large, complex and regimented, with each member serving a unique and specialized task, be it child rearing, farming, engineering, healing, or management. Their lives are short, so they must prioritize their education, work together, and find joy in brief destinies. Biologically, they are intended to move about across the surface of high-gravity planets, so their limbs are incredibly strong and their reaction time is nearly instantaneous. They lack thrusters, radio antennae, and proper eyes, so, when far from home, they must compensate with a plethora of outrageous technologies. Their language is incomprehensible, their flesh is poisonous, and their many needs invite heartbreak in those who care for them, so they are generally more trouble they're worth. But you will never find harder workers, deadlier warriors, or more playful pets, and they can be quite endearing.

To the Natives of the Abyss,

A Human is a short hissing fire, untouchable, blindingly bright, hungry, and loud, loud, loud. The souls which drive the missiles from above. They are fortunately flat, and their chaos does not last. They remember little.

To the Elves,

A human is a biped terrestrial hunter-gatherer, native to a high-gravity, low-oxygen planet of a distant galaxy. The nature of this environment requires a large portion of their body be devoted to oversized digestive and respiratory organs, and their limbs are rigid and inflexible. Their natural hunting method, in a long-ago forgotten age, was to pursue prey to exhaustion across plains, using their upright stance and elevated stamina. Even today this nature remains, seen in their horizontal living spaces and their ability to work long hours. In most other ways, however, they are quite like us. It is probably a good thing they live so far away and have made so little contact, as we love the same sorts of worlds, and would probably begin quibbling and warring over territory. They like the trees, even if they cannot live in them. I don't think we have yet seen the worst that humans have to offer.

To the Vampires,

A human is one. One mind, one will, one nature, one face. They have no wolf living in their gut whispering to them, their flesh cannot think for itself, and would never betray them except in sickness. A human never changes its form or its shape or its nature, but persists and endures as it is. They can always be true to themselves, and be honest to those they meet, which frees them to join together in vast communities, mate for life, form lasting friendships, and accomplish great works together. It is said they have even conquered hunger. But this nature of theirs is a curse as well as a blessing, for the guilt of their lusts, violences, and greed can rest nowhere but their own heads, and no matter where they go or who they mate or what great works they accomplish, they always carry their great sin close behind them, for all their lives, for all the world to see. They are not as tasty as the fairies, and do not hold grudges as long as the merfolk.

To the Dwarves,

Humans are terrible cooks, which is doubtlessly why they're all so thin and unhappy. But they're even worse carpenters; their houses are fragile, all above ground, covered in windows, and obsessively clean to a frankly snobbish degree. They should use all their fancy technology to turn themselves into birds and fly away and not bother people anymore. HA! I'm kidding. Humans are alright. They write a lot of books. They dig septic systems, which are good for the economy. And actually the real reason they're so thin is because their brains are up in their heads. The more you know.

To the Blessed,

A human is a vague and fragile thing of flimsy intelligence, too slow-moving, cold, vast, and fragile to earn any interest or concern beside the academic sort. It is a fortunate thing we have never met; they would be transparent and immovable glaciers to us, that melt so readily to the touch and burn so quickly at the sight that we would be hard-pressed to even observe them, let alone communicate. They have been documented at a distance, however, and books have been written detailed every fact to be known about them. There is not much to know. They are as round as the world. We did not intend to curse them.

[dangermousie]

OK, now that I am somewhat more coherent, here are my thoughts on the ending of Flower of Evil and the drama in general.

Short version is that now I had time to think about it and for it to sink in, I unequivocally loved it.

The fangirl in me would have loved to have a lot of fluff and peace and happiness for the little family in the last ep, but narratively, having it all hang in the balance like that made a lot of sense.

I was initially quite sad that the bulk of character development we saw for Hyun Soo and the OTP is gone, but I actually like it now, and not just because it looks like gradually his memory is coming back (I would kill for another season where it’s just him gradually rediscovering/remembering things but of course it won’t happen.).

Because a lot of this episode really was about who Do Hyun Soo truly is and what he truly wants and feels without the baggage of guilt and lies and misconceptions and everything else. Without those additional 15 years of hiding, without all the months of desperation and the horrors we saw him go through in these eps (he was tortured, almost killed multiple times and at the end had a psychotic break he was so broken, truly.) And we see that 2005 Hyun Soo, with the world not hating or hunting him but praising him largely, with him finding out he is safe almost as soon as he woke up, is a quiet, gentle man with a lot of his edge gone. And I find it lovely somehow.

And this also enables him to discover that he genuinely loves Ji Won and Eun Ha, that he is capable of feeling without either Ji Won telling him or the associated trauma that happened during the discovery. The theme of his body knowing things his mind does not keeps up through this - he keeps making food his family loves, he keeps buying egg tarts without knowing why, he keeps fiddling with his wedding ring as a security talisman (and oh the gorgeous symbolism that his identity as Ji Won’s husband is so ingrained in him that his hands literally don’t function properly without the weight of the ring and he keeps hurting himself while metalworking because the balance of his hands is off.)

And of course, this time the person who shows to him he loves Ji Won is not Ji Won but he himself - his past self. And I find that so fitting somehow - that he learns from himself, not from someone else. This time no other person tells him/shows him/explains to him how he feels. And those diaries!!!! They are more of a love confession than any love confession could be - his sense of love and wonder and desire to understand everything about her just come off the pages. Not to mention the fact that we find out what he named his shop after and once again it is a paean to her. JUST!!! It all connects to actions being his love language. And of course, this also loops to the fact that he is the same person at base - he is still drawn by Ji Won looking at rain, for example.

The other thing is that is huge for me - have you noticed that despite his worry that he is a psychopath who is manipulative and cannot feel things, this is not Hyun Soo even of early FoE eps in terms of understanding and feeling. (Side note - he seems to think he is a mastermind for getting that guy to testify but that is basic understanding of human behavior, a lot of people would do the same.) By that I mean, remember how he was practicing expressions in the mirror? Remember how he couldn’t even tell when he was panicking and having panic attacks? Remember how he vehemently denied he could feel anything? How he believed he is incapable of love? This is not this Hyun Soo. Even this early on (it’s been mere months since the incident), he feels plenty and understands he does - remember that amazing “we are chained to a post” conversation in the car? His issue is not that he feels nothing; his fear is that he is not sure his feelings can be permanent in light of his past or that he doesn’t know if he can be the man she is seeking or even wants to be; his hurt and confusion of reconciling his past self and his present self. (And he is also able to instinctively get Moo Jin is upset over Hae Soo and act accordingly.)  And less positive emotions are ones he can interpret as well - he said he wanted to kill the man who framed him; before he didn’t even process he felt rage - he just wanted to get away from the bad stimuli but he didn’t hold grudges, not consciously.

So, all the lessons he learned about love and care and understanding himself and other people while living with his family he kept entirely and they inform his behavior and sense of self - he may not have the memories (yet) but they have changed him on a basic level and have made him who he is now even with memories seemingly gone.

Plus, I loved how this time he made the first move towards Ji Won. And the sheer nerves he feels meeting Eun Ha but how naturally he falls again into that love and warmth and care. It shows how for him, that feeling of love and belonging goes beyond verbal or even conscious; it’s his basic DNA.

I mean - selfishly - I wish we’d just get a lovely peaceful interlude with them post the end but I get why not. 

In conclusion, by far my favorite drama of 2020 and going on my all time favorites list.

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

Prompt: Izuku isn't one to keep grudges. He'd rather bury the hatchet & move on. But when word got out that Bakugō's past as a bully & an abuser got exposed at the latest annual Hero Gala, where he just got promoted to the #1 Hero no less, Izuku couldn't deny the small feeling of satisfaction within him. Soon, Bakugō lost the respect of his fellow Class 1-A graduates, former UA teachers, most of Japanese citizens & the whole world. His Hero license got revoked. He becomes what Izuku used to be - an outcast; a social pariah.

You reap what you sow.

Izuku has long since decided that accepting things happened, and then moving on from said things was the best thing. He hasn’t accepted what happened to him when he was younger. He hasn’t forgiven Bakugou. But he’s moved on. It helps that he and Bakugou don’t often interact with each other. Izuku works in multiple different aspects of the hero industry while Bakugou sticks with the combat portion only.

 Izuku has moved on from his past. He’s accepted it and honestly he’s done holding a grudge against people. He’s tired and done and if he held a grduge it would just spread to everyone he has ever known as Bakugou was one of many who treated him badly, and the grduges would extend to his teachers who never noticed how Bakugou treated him, likening him to old rivalries they had seen before.

 But...

 Izuku is human.

 He was there when a reporter spoke with Bakugou. The reporter had seemed familiar to Izuku, but he hadn’t known why until the reporter had asked, so innocently,

 “And how about the fact you told Deku to jump off a roof in middle school?”

 The world stopped then, and suddenly Izuku took in the reporter.

He didn’t remember his name, Bakugou had always just called him Fingers when they spoke.

 “What about the fact you used to destroy his clothes, and would beat him up? What about the fact you used to beat up others to?” the reporter continued.

 “What- how did you know?!” demanded Bakugou. It was that sentence that cemented the reporter was telling the truth for everyone.

 “Because I used to help, and it makes me sick I did.”

 The fallout of the night had Bakugou suspended from heroics. The investigation was still on going.

 Fingers, or Nara Takashi as it was revealed, also leaked every single action of Bakugou and revealed a lot of dirty secrets of the blonde.

 Izuku had already received multiple apologies from teachers at UA and his friends as the truth came out. more so when he was tapped to testify about Bakugou.

 Watching the TV, Izuku can only think as he watches Bakugou glare at the reporters, looking lost and confused, looking so mad when Kirishima simply walks away from him when he tried to grab him.

 Izuku can only think that you reap who you sow, and Bakugou has sowed a lot of anger, hate and aggression.

 It’s fitting it only produces that.

[im-abanana]

Villain!Branch AU

So, I asked myself: what if Branch was an antagonist in the first movie? How would that play out?

Just some random ideas I’ve come up with lmao, forgive me I’m sleepy:

- First off, in this AU Branch wouldn't have a soft spot/crush on Poppy, like it's heavily hinted in the first minutes of Trolls.

Quite the contrary, Villain!Branch would be full of disdain and anger towards her, who he'd deem far too irresponsible and happy-go-lucky to rule their village (Peppy is more serious than his daughter, we see that even in the movie and series, most likely due to his far greater experience as King. But of course, Branch is far too young to remember a 'young, unexperienced Peppy').

Not only that; Villain!Branch would hold a grudge against both of the royals: after all, Peppy never actually tried to reach out to him (we never saw that on screen, at least), even if he probably knew about Grandma Rosiepuff's fate, and Poppy- as much as she tries to reach out to him- has no idea what he's actually been through, not even trying to investigate.

So, the phrase "I can't believe you're gonna be Queen one day." would have A LOT more bite to it, than the original one.

Of course, he would just destroy the invitations and throw them away, but that’s a minor detail I suppose.

-After the party, when Chef has already captured the Snack Pack and she's heading towards Bergen Town, I think she and Branch would cross paths (remember? He was actually collecting supplies during the party). So, Chef would try to grab Branch as well, but that's when Villain!Branch would offer her a deal: if she lets him live, he will personally bring Princess Poppy to her (Poppy was the Troll King Gristle was supposed to eat, I think Chef should hold a special grudge against the Trolls' Princess, and feeding her to Gristle- ending the cycle- would be pretty satisfying as a personal revenge? I guess?), AND leave behind King Peppy, too (Peppy is the reason they all escaped, com'on, Chef should hate him especially).

What does Villain!Branch get out of this? He gets to live in peace, and the rest of the Trolls too. What's a small sacrifice, in front of an entire community's safety?

So, him and Chef make a deal; Chef will also let one member of the Snack Pack live, her choice (of course, this Troll would NOT know about their deal!), and let he/she come back with Villain!Branch, so he or she can testify the deaths of the others and Branch’s “heroism”.

Chef decides to let Creek live, "faking" his death like in the movie and secretly convincing Gristle to keep him locked in the jewel, until the Trollstice.

-When Poppy comes to beg for Branch's help, as expected, Villain!Branch would carry on with the plan: go with Poppy to Bergen Town and pretend to help her, and then make sure she doesn't come back alive, so that he can have the opportunity to come out as a hero who tried desperately to save the Princess, although unsuccessfully, and then take over the vacant throne (Peppy is old and ready to retire, with no other heir or worthy candidate to the crown) while proving that HIS way of living, hidden underneath the surface, is the only chance of survival they have.

-So, Poppy and Villain!Branch would travel together right away, and arrive to Bergen town. There, they'd find Chef and King Gristle, like in the movie, and help Bridget with the date, etc... (If Villain!Branch could have a redemption arc, during that time he could actually open up to Poppy and reveal his past, or at least realize that she cares and is not so bad at leading/taking care of her own)

When they actually try to save Creek in the rollerskate scene, Villain!Branch would lead Poppy and the Snack Pack EXACTLY to Chef's trap/room, as the two of them planned.

But then, he would find himself locked in the cage with the group, and that is NOT what he and Chef had agreed on.

-The twist, like in the movie! Chef would mockingly call Villain!Branch out in front of a very shocked Snack Pack and Poppy, revealing the cruel pact they'd made.

Of course, Creek would then reveal himself as the villain he is in the movie: after all, why should Chef be true to her word to Villain!Branch and let the majority of the Trolls live (only getting a Princess and an old, tired King Peppy), when Creek promised her ALL the Trolls in the Village?

-From this point on, the story would play out like the movie’s, more or less (again, if Villain!Branch could have a redemption arc, he’d be the one to apologize and try to cheer Poppy up and convince her to fight back. Of course, he’d be seen as extremely distrustful, since he’s a literal traitor in this AU...).

[sshbpodcast]

Tales from the Holodeck: DS9 Fanfic: Chris’s Story

Not only has A Star to Steer Her By wrapped all of Deep Space Nine, but your podcast hosts are also celebrating our fifth anniversary of bringing you through all of Star Trek! As a treat, we’ve concocted DS9-themed fanfic stories and teleplays in our much-celebrated “Tales from the Holodeck” series that you can listen to us cold read here (this one starts at 39:05). Read on for the transcript of Chris’s Weyoun-Ee’char story below, that might pilot a whole new series we’re all asking for!

[images © Paramount/CBS]

“Dude, Where’s My Ee’char?”

By Chris

Random picks: Weyoun, Ee’char

“Tea, earl grey, hot?”

Miles O’Brien instinctively glanced up at those words. Surely not. Sure enough, a lanky Andorian walked up to the counter and accepted the drink that had been called out. Admiral Picard – well, not Admiral, anymore, but even thinking of him as “Jean-Luc” was bizarre to O’Brien – had less than no reason to be hanging around Starfleet Academy. Or Starfleet anything, for that matter.

“Not that I can entirely blame him,” he mused to himself, going back to the PADD containing last week’s warp field dynamics exam. “Nothing’s felt right since Romulus was destroyed. And then Mars…maybe Keiko’s right. Maybe it’s time to retire.”

He sighed and put down his stylus. Twenty years of teaching at Starfleet academy and even he could see how things were shifting. The students grew less and less enthused, dropout rates going up, those that did stay becoming so by-the-book when it came to everything that it was maddening.

“They’re just lacking in imagination,” he’d moaned to Keiko one day. “If I’d thought like them we’d’ve never got the Defiant working like she did. They think the deflector array is just for deflecting things.”

He had immediately realized how ridiculous and old-mannish it had sounded. But even his wife had been on Starfleet ships long enough to get it. Everything on a ship potentially had a purpose no one had ever dreamed of, and dreaming it up in that critical moment could be the difference between getting the ship home and a warp core breach.

“Professor O’Brien?” came a strangely-familiar voice from behind him. He turned and saw what he thought, at first, must have been a Romulan because they were smiling. And there was a sardonic edge to the tone that didn’t seem terribly Vulcan, either. But the fellow had that waxlike pallor that was unique to the latter, something their cousin species had evolved away over their centuries apart.

“Yes. Can I help you?”

“No, but my employer believes he can help you.”

Well, this was shady. Was Section 31 out for belated revenge? Maybe someone had finally slipped in Starfleet Intelligence and the Orion syndicate found out he’d worked undercover against them? Could it be that some T’Lani was still cross about what he and Julian had revealed about their corruption? The grudge could’ve gone further back; someone related to the incident at Setlik III had tracked him down. Christ, for someone who’d only ever been an engineer he’d sure managed to pile up a list of old enemies that could come calling. Ought to at least make him an honorary Commander for that.

“And he would be?”

“An old friend.” The mystery man reached into a pocket and pulled out a small, red figurine. The coonskin cap was unmistakable. “He said this would explain. He remembers the hours you and the good Doctor spent on this.”

So it wasn’t Julian, but someone who knew how they’d passed their time in their DS9 days. Didn’t rule out Section 31, or necessarily a few others, but it did make him feel a little better. He realized the man was still holding out the figure to him, so he reached out and took it, putting it in the bag he’d been carrying his PADD and some miscellany in.

“My employer understands that you’re too cautious a man to just meet somewhere.” The man’s voice – what was it that was so familiar? – had dropped even further. “Be at your desk in twenty minutes. A signal will come in. Use the code on the bottom of the figure.”

The man turned without another word and strode off. O’Brien raised his eyebrows and watched him go. He’d have to tell Julian about this next time they talked; he’d be jealous. Goodness knows how long it had been since his old friend had been involved in any cloak-and-dagger shenanigans.

*

Despite everything O’Brien was a little surprised when, back at his desk, his computer began to chirp. The text on the screen read “incoming external transmission”. External transmissions were always supposed to go through central comms; only an Admiral could bypass that procedure, normally. He turned the little figure over and punched in the numbers he saw there.

“Ah, my dear Professor O’Brien!”

“Ga-” O’Brien stopped himself. For some reason he felt if he said the full name of the Cardassian now grinning at him from the screen it would just summon the whole of Starfleet security. Just behind him and to his left stood the mystery Vulcan/Romulan from the cafe.

“You look well, Professor,” Garak continued, not acknowledging whether or not he had caught the Engineer’s odd outburst.

“Having you call me that is a bit weird,” O’Brien admitted. “How about Chief? I think that’s still technically my rank.”

“Very well, Chief. I believe you know my associate?”

“Not that I can remember.”

“Oh, how silly of me,” the man said, reaching up. “I still have the mask on.”

His hand slid down his face, and the telltale webbing of a holographic disguise flickered to life as the pallor, eyebrows, and eyes vanished. Instead there was a very different kind of pointed ear, skin like powder, and violently violet eyes.

“Weyoun…”

“Yes, it would seem there were, in fact, a few leftover despite what we had been told.” Garak smirked in that old, familiar, entirely unsettling way of his. “It seems they just meant their Alpha Quadrant supply.”

“Of course, I’m now the actual, final one,” Weyoun added. “Garak here found me right before I was…discarded. My predecessors had not been quite so lucky.”

“Is that where you’ve been the past two decades then?” O’Brien asked. “The Gamma Quadrant?”

“Mostly.” Garak raised his brow briefly. “Someone has to keep an eye on the Dominion. Starfleet Intelligence can hardly be trusted to do it on their own, the Romulans are too busy trying to keep their culture intact, and Klingons have never had a spy agency in their entire recorded history.”

“I see.”

“I came across a story that I thought might interest you.” He glanced down and pecked a few buttons just off-camera, and a ping sounded on the Chief’s computer. “Look particularly carefully at the upper left-hand corner of the screen. It was a pleasure to see you, Chief.”

“Wait…”

But Garak was already gone. O’Brien knew there’d be no point in asking for a trace. Should he report this? He was supposed to, certainly. But this was Garak. O’Brien…well, okay, to say he trusted Garak would be a staggering lie. But he certainly felt like both the Federation and he personally owed him enough that he could be allowed this little indulgence. At least once.

Decision made, O’Brien opened the message he’d been sent. He winced when he recognized rather quickly the world of Argratha. It had all the appearance of a news story of some kind. But the Universal Translator hadn’t caught up to the shift, so he started over and paused it.

Argratha. He’d been twice. The second time some fifteen years later, to testify at a public hearing about his experiences the first time. What his false-memory twenty year imprisonment had been like. There was talk at the time of abandoning the practice; it made the judicial process too casual, too many false guilty charges because, for those who’d never experienced it, what was really lost? The Chief and countless others had told them. How real the time felt, and how cruel the simulation was. He’d told the Special Envoy who’d arranged for him to go that he felt he deserved a medal for how calm he’d been during his testimony. The Envoy had chuckled until the Chief’s expression had told him he had very much meant it.

He started the story up again. When he’d not heard anything for months after his testimony he’d assumed the reforms had failed and the sick practice was still going on. But in fact it had simply taken a bit of extra time and work. The story was about the closing of the final facility that had run such incarcerations. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to weep or go celebrate. He was going to call Keiko straightaway, that much was…

The upper left hand corner.

“No.”

He had almost forgotten to look.

“No.”

Despite it being the entire reason Garak had dropped by.

“Fuck.”

Ee’char. His “imaginary” cellmate. Standing among the crowd of politicians and other self-congratulatory types formally shutting the program down. Almost identical to the twenty-year-older Ee’char from his memories, though one that had clearly lived a somewhat less wretched life. One who’d gotten proper meals and sleep and care, just like O’Brien had.

But did he have the false twenty years that still occasionally wafted into his nightmares and had him waking in a cold sweat? Did he still, on rare occasions, almost set aside a bit of his meal before realizing saving it wasn’t necessary?

“In short, friend,” the Chief said aloud. “Who the fuck are you?”

*

He was glad the stopover at DS9 to switch transports had been short. None of the old crew were there, anymore, but he was fairly certain he was at least vaguely acquainted with some of the Stafleet staff that still maintained a presence on the Bajoran station, and the last thing he wanted to be was some old man wandering around his old posting looking worn and nostalgic. Even Quark had shipped out for Freecloud. A part of him had been tempted to see if Morn was still at his usual seat in whatever the bar was called now, assuming it was even still a bar. But he had just stayed in the docking ring and then made his way to the next leg of his journey.

He spent the flight through the wormhole standing by a window with just about everyone else. He realized that he’d never gone through it after the War had ended, so it was his first time making the journey in ages that he wasn’t expecting to potentially die on the other end. It was so nice to just watch it, to get lost in its beauty, and vaguely wonder if Sisko was watching him just then.

*

O’Brien stood in the space between two homes, watching as a car slid noiselessly from the sky and halted in front of the house. Finding his old friend had been much easier than he’d expected; Garak had encoded everything he needed to find the man in the newsclip he’d sent. A door hissed open and the old Argrathan stepped out. He exchanged inaudible words with someone in the vehicle before the door shut and it lazily drifted back into the sky. O’Brien glanced around. No one else seemed to be coming. He watched as the other man walked towards the his home.

The Chief darted from the shadows and jogged across the street. If Ee’char heard him he showed no sign. O’Brien reached up, paused, and then gently tapped the other man on the shoulder. He gasped and spun.

“Yes?” he asked.

“I’m…ah…I’m Miles O’Brien.”

“Oh. Oh! Yes, yes, I remember watching your testimony.” He held out a hand “Ko’vax.”

“A pleasure,” the Chief replied, taking his hand and shaking it.

“But why did you come to see me?”

“We…well, we were cellmates, you see.”

“Were we?” He nodded slowly. “Well. Someone had quite the sense of humor.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve been arguing against our mental prisons for a very long time.” His lips went slender and he glanced off. “Please. Come in, have a warm drink.”

“I…sure, thank you.”

*

“I never had the misfortune of experiencing what you or so many others did,” Ko’vax explained, putting down what seemed effectively to be a mug in front of O’Brien. “But my father did.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Thank you.” He picked up his own mug, almost took a drink, but didn’t and put it down. “His story was similar to so many others. To yours. Adjusting was so hard. Too hard. They don’t offer any kind of help to reintegrate to society. To help you deal with the fact that you’ve not actually lost any time but it still feels like a huge swathe of your life is gone. That might be worse than actually losing time. I don’t know.”

“Neither do I. I’ve never had the real version.”

“He lasted…half a year. My brother found him.” Ko’vax paused and took a sip of his drink, and the Chief finally did automatically. Not that he took any note of the flavor. “I’d already started writing letters, but I got more active after that. Showed up at politician’s doorsteps. Showed up and shouted at meetings that had nothing to do with it. Became a real pain.”

“Must’ve been afraid they’d…well, you know.”

“Oh, sure. But I didn’t care. Let them. Let them put me in a fifty year dream, a century, I knew I’d be fine. I’d have my rage to see me through.” He sighed. “I was so angry for so long. I mean, I never stopped being angry, but you can’t be as constantly angry as I was at first. That would be impossible.”

“So what happened?”

“I lived my life. But I never stopped my campaigning. Whatever free moment I could scrounge up was spent talking with others who shared my goal. I guess someone thought it would be a good laugh to have a cellmate based on the man who hated them and their program so damn much.” He smiled. “But then I got to be there today. When it all ended. Thanks to so many people. Like you.”

“I…” The Chief paused. “I’m glad I could help.”

“So what made you come to see me?”

“I wasn’t sure who you were, to be honest. Outside of looking like Ee’char. That was his name.” He paused. “I guess a part of me was almost hoping you’d been part of it somehow. So I could let you have it. And feel less bad about…how things went between me and the other you.”

“We didn’t get along, eh?”

“We did, eventually. And then for a long time. But then, towards the end…”

“It gets particularly bad, yes. Everyone says that.”

“Well. Glad to know it wasn’t just me getting special treatment, I suppose.” O’Brien took another drink. Now that he was paying attention he realized it was very pleasant. He’d have to find out what it was and bring some home. “We fought. You…he…I killed him.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You’ve nothing to apologize for. I killed you. Sort of.”

“I’m sorry on behalf of a government that will never properly apologize fo anyone affected by their sick little program because they think it’s just fine. They are giving it up with great reluctance you can be sure.” He paused. “And I’m sorry you were driven to that. I know we’ve barely met but you don’t seem the type. So it must have been truly awful to drive you that far.”

“I guess so. I hope so.” He paused. “I don’t know. I’d killed before. Served in one war already by then. But this was something else. Something that still comes up at me in the wee hours. Every time I’d killed before then I could justify it as having been for my survival. And that’s what I told myself it was that time, but I’d not actually proven that first. I told myself it must have been so I could.”

“I wish I could help. I’m almost sorry I’m not who you thought I was.” He shrugged. “If it helps, well…I didn’t go what you went through, but I saw firsthand what it does to people. I know how real it can seem, even to those who go in knowing it isn’t. You had no idea. I’m sorry they used my face as part of your torture. But, if it helps…well, I forgive you. On behalf of the false me. And I only wish you the best.”

“Thanks.” He smiled, nodded. “That actually is nice to hear, somehow.”

*

The wormhole again. Its eddies and currents and majesty unchanged even as the twenty years around it had entirely altered O’Brien’s world. Why had the gone all the way to the Gamma Quadrant? What would he have done if Ko’vax had been involved somehow? Certainly not killed him. Shouted for a bit? What good would that have done? But what good had this done? No. Time to move on. Figure out what’s next. He’d been in neutral for far too long, and…

“Oh, I know that look,” came a voice to his side that he scarcely believed he was hearing. “That is the look of the Chief when everything seems against him. When things have stopped making sense.”

O’Brien turned. There, not looking a day older when he’d last seen him, still in the now very out-of-date uniform, stood Captain Sisko.

“Well, Chief. It’s time for things to start making sense again. And I’m going to need your help.”

The End

—

For more DS9 fanfic, check out Caitlin, Jake, and Ames’s stories from this round of Tales from the Holodeck! And be sure to keep listening to new episodes every Thursday on SoundCloud, follow us on Facebook and Twitter, and stay out of brain jail if you can. Jay-sus.

[daebakinc]

Hero Among Thorns   - Pt 6

Pairing: Hyunwoo x Reader Genre: Undercover Detective AU, Action, Romance  Word Count: 2.5K Summary: When a mistaken connection results in your kidnapping by one of the city’s most notorious gangs, the undercover detective Hyunwoo has no choice but to rescue and protect you, and, most dangerously of all, fall in love with you. Warning: Mentions of violence and blood. Parts: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

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  Hyunwoo immediately looks over to you, but you can't read anything from his face. Minhyuk's, on the other hand, is drawn. His fingers tap rapidly where they rest on the car door. Something has him agitated and this time, it's nothing you've done. At least, you don't think.

You glance out the windshield. Numerous high-end looking cars sit around the spacious shop floor on lifts or on the ground with hoods open, but they're all abandoned. The rest of Hyunwoo's crew, all outfitted in coveralls with varying grease stains, stand in an open area of the floor around Changkyun, who has one of his tablets in his hands. Their bodies mimic Minhyuk's, tense like warriors awaiting orders to confront the enemy head-on.

A sickly cool settles on your skin. Something's definitely wrong.

“Can I get out first?” Hyunwoo asks Minhyuk.

He backs away from the car.

The car is suddenly too stuffy despite the open window. You put your hand on the door handle, but something closes around your other hand, stopping you. You look down.

Hyunwoo's hand rests on top of yours. Your eyes shoot up to his, your heart thumping. He doesn't smile, doesn't say a word. He only squeezes your hand and nods. A simple dip of his head.

For some reason, that's enough to calm you. That silent reassurance that no matter what has his team so uneasy, Hyunwoo won't let it touch you. Not ever.

His hand is gone the second before his door opens and he slides out of the car. You hurriedly unbuckle and slip out as well, following close behind him.

“What happened?” Hyunwoo stops in front of his teammates, scanning each face.

“Not here. Upstairs.” Minhyuk's eyes land on you for a split second before he jerks his head toward a set of metal stairs. They lead to what you assume is an office space on the upper half of the garage that has a single window to look out of.

The message is clear. Whatever it is, Minhyuk doesn't want you to see it. You can't help but wonder if there's an actual reason or if he's letting his grudge be a pain in the ass.

“If it concerns me, I want to know,” you demand.

Minhyuk doesn't look at you, only Hyunwoo, and shakes his head at the leader's questioning gaze.

“I want to know,” you repeat.

“It's not about you, alright?” Minhyuk retorts. “It's about another witness. It's classified.”

You almost snark back with 'What? Another one die on your watch?' but you bite your tongue. No use pissing this guy off again if he's lying. Plus, if you're right, you probably don't want it confirmed. You do not need to jinx yourself.

“We'll be right back,” Hyunwoo says, addressing you. “There's a couch over there if you want to sit down. It should be clean. I'll show you around after if you want.”

You shrug, crossing your arms. As eager as you were to get out, you'd rather be back in your room right now. At least there, there are no surprises.

Hyunwoo heads for the stairs, the others following. Everyone except Minhyuk and Changkyun.

Minhyuk looks pointedly at Changkyun, who points to the tablet. “Gotta transfer the files first.”

Minhyuk sighs, walks towards the stairs, then turns around to walk back to you. He glances at Changkyun one more time, then says in a low voice, “Look, I'm... sorry.”

Your eyes, which had been following Hyunwoo, shoot back to Minhyuk. You misheard. “What?”

He bites his lip, fiddling with something in his coverall pockets. Sighing through his nose, he says, “I said I'm sorry, okay? For when I blew up at you at the apartment. When you said you didn't know if you'd testify.”

“Oh.” So you had heard correctly. For Minhyuk to apologize to your face is as surprising as Darth Vader being Luke's father. At least on the first watch-through.

“This case is kind of personal,” Minhyuk continues. “Remember the agent we said Yew killed? He was my friend. His name was Jung Jaehyun. He was a good agent and a better man. He didn't deserve what happened to him.”

“Oh,” you say again, more quietly. Whatever anger you still felt towards Minhyuk falls away when confronted with the pain evident in his expressive face. “I'm sorry.”

He wipes at his nose, sniffling, and looks away. “Yew needs to answer for that and everything else he's done. So much of our evidence could be ruled circumstantial; first-hand witness testimony could be what makes him pay, you see?”

Minhyuk's eyes beg for you to understand, to agree. You remember the recital of Yew's crimes, the venom and disgust with which your protectors spoke of him. You remember that tattooed arm and the way it so casually set in motion your shooting, drugging and kidnapping, the way it could have sentenced you to death. Such a man is no man at all. He is the shadow of humanity given form and such shadows are always searching for light to consume whole.

“Minhyuk...” You repeat his name so he finally looks you in the eye again. Summoning what reserve you have, you say, “I'll testify. I promise. For Jaehyun... and me.”

He stares at you, jaw dropping. It could almost be comical if not for the situation. The single promise leaves your legs weak, but it feels right. You know it’s what’s right.

Coming to his senses, Minhyuk shuts his mouth and shrugs. He turns away, tossing over his shoulder, “Thanks, but don't promise anything yet.”

Changkyun waits until his teammate is halfway up the stairs to get off his stool. “Just so you know, Minhyuk doesn't apologize often. If he does, he means it.”

“I'll keep that in mind.”

“Well, better get up there, I guess. Just wanted to make sure all our security cameras were working,” he says, stretching his arms with his tablet in hand, the screen facing you.

You catch a brief glimpse of a small room like an office. Hyunwoo leans against a wall opposite the camera, beside a large, black television screen.

Changkyun sets the tablet on his chair, winks at you without a hint of smile that lacks warmth in his eyes, and ascends the stairs.

Watching him until the door shuts behind him, your eyes then fall to the tablet. It sits there, as tempting and revolting as Pandora's Box. If Minhyuk lied, and what happened does involve you, do you want to know? Or do you want to live as ignorantly blissful as possible?

Your deliberation only lasts a few seconds. Fuck it. There's probably some kind of price on your head. How much worse could it be.

Grabbing the tablet, you sit on the rather battered-looking brown couch. You find the volume button and hold it down.

Hyunwoo's voice grows louder. “... no way to trace it back to Yew?”

You can't see Changkyun's face, but you hear him answer, “I tracked the email. It's a bogus account sent from a burner phone. The signal was from some cafe in down-town. No known connection to Yew. We could always go to the cell's last location to see if they dumped it in the area, but I doubt it. They haven't been that stupid in the past.”

“Go check it out after this anyway. We're sure it's him?”

“Watch it. It's him,” Hoseok says with finality from somewhere off camera.

Changkyun presses something held in his hand. The screen by Hyunwoo lights up white, then a video starts playing.

Out of focus, it shows the outside of a brick building during the early gray hours of dawn. Whoever is taking the video is high up, at least three or four stories. The camera shifts and zooms in, going out of focus again. The sounds of a city are faint. Only a heavy breathing is captured clearly. The video slows to focus on a window of the opposite building.

It's open and without curtains. The camera zooms in even closer.

You gasp. The tablet drops from your frozen fingers.

The image, full of shadows as it is, leers back at you, still on the screen.

That's the blanket on your bed, the lamp on your bedside table, your face peaceful in sleep against the pillow.

The long muzzle of a rifle enters the shot. The end of its barrel aligns itself with your head like a hound trained on a scent.

You watch yourself roll away from the camera's view, completely unaware your safe-house could become the scene of your death.

A voice, mechanical and menacing, breaks the anonymous videographer's breathing.

“You let your girl sleep alone?” it asks, giving a low chuckle that makes you shiver with its chill. “Consider this a professional courtesy. Guess you didn't take my warning to guard her better seriously, Shownu. Bad idea.”

The video goes black.

Bad idea... Bad idea...

Changkyun comes down first, pausing at the foot of the stairs long enough to catch your eye. The look on your face must have confirmed you watched, but he doesn't stay to talk, instead heading out a side door. You drift from car to car after everyone but Hyunwoo and Hyungwon return to the garage floor, handing them tools or fetching needed parts. You know you're probably more hindrance than help. But they keep thanking you and patiently explaining what they're doing when you ask regardless. Jooheon especially pays attention to you, probably sensing your new restlessness. The mechanics may go over your head, but puzzling over it keeps the fear at bay. Somewhat.

Bad idea... Bad idea...

The pizzas Kihyun brings back smells amazing. One of them is even your favorite, but you're not sure you can even take a bite. Your stomach feels too tense to allow food of any kind in. You just smile and wave away Hoseok's call, pretending to be interested by a parts catalog you found on one of the benches. Hyunwoo wordlessly puts a paper plate with two slices of your favorite by your elbow. Rather than insult his kindness, you eat it all. The pizza tastes like ash and sits like a leaden weight in your stomach.

Bad idea... Bad idea...

Dread weighs on your chest when it's time to go. Hyunwoo and the rest of the team have done nothing but prove you can trust them. However, you doubt the windows in your bedroom are bulletproof. Maybe they'll move you somewhere else. But what if Yew can find you then too?

“Hey.”

You look up. Hyunwoo is watching you, holding the car door open for you. You had unknowingly stopped a few feet away. “Sorry, coming.”

Hyunwoo says nothing after he shuts the door after you, nor after he pulls out the garage. The closer you get to the apartment, the tighter your hands grip the seat. They start to ache, but you can't convince yourself to let go. The sanctuary you were so eager to leave feels even more like a trap than before.

Hyunwoo pulls the car into the same spot as before. As he turns the keys off, he says “Are you-?” just as you blurt out “I don't-”

“Sorry, you first,” Hyunwoo says, waving his hand in invitation.

Clearing your throat, you focus on your feet. “I don't want to go back in.”

“Why?”

“I... I saw the video. The one Yew sent.”

“How?” There's surprise, but no anger in Hyunwoo's voice.

You still don't dare to lift your gaze. “Changkyun's tablet.”

“Ah. He did try to argue you should know what's going on.”

You look up to watch Hyunwoo's face when you ask, “Were you going to tell me?”

Your ears suddenly feel hot at the thought of them keeping you in the dark about the new threat. Wouldn't they want to know if someone almost put a bullet between their eyes as they slept?

“We were still deciding,” he replies, meeting your eyes head-on. Even now, his directness is almost shocking. Shocking enough at least to cool some of your anger towards them. “Guess it's out of our hands. We didn't want to scare you any more than we know you are.”

“Too late.” You chuckle mirthlessly.

“If Yew was going to kill you, he would have done it already.”

“Gee, thanks. That makes me feel loads better.”

Hyunwoo sighs at your heavy sarcasm. With patience clear in his voice, he says, “When you were kidnapped, that was a warning. We were entering his game without his permission. I'm still not sure why he got personally involved, but now we're messing up the chain of power. Showing he can still get to you is his bid to scare me and make us back off. But he won't do anything to you again.”

It's incredibly hard not to scoff. The obvious conviction in Hyunwoo's face stops you. “How can you know that for sure?”

“Because Yew's style is mind games. He isn't usually direct; he typically prefers being more subtle than overt. It's why he's been so hard to catch.”

“So what's to stop him from hiring someone to shoot me so it doesn't lead back to him? He killed your other agent.”

“A murder by sniper in a neighborhood like this? Of someone with no known ties to criminal activity? That would make news more than a nameless body in an alleyway. He must've thought our agent was a no one like that. Yew doesn't like news surrounding any of his crimes. News brings pressure on the police to solve the crime. Pressure that could hurt him or his business. He won't risk that.”

You feel like you're missing something. “So how are you supposed to get him?”

“Stealing high end cars was his beginning, now a hobby. We're stealing business from him. If we make him angry enough to do something drastic again, he'll come after me personally. Because I'm making this personal.”

So Hyunwoo is acting as a kind of bait. You shift in your seat, an unwelcome image of an injured Hyunwoo flashing in your mind. It's an uncomfortable thought to say the least, but just how sharp the pang is in your heart is jarring.

Hyunwoo says your name, making you look at him again.

“If I ever thought you were in real danger, that I couldn't protect you, I would get you out of here. I'd send you somewhere safe. Do you believe me?”

To your disbelief, Hyunwoo truly looks worried about your opinion of his ability to keep you from harm. Why should it matter to him? He's in charge of this whole thing in more ways than one. He's the badass skilled agent. As long as you don't run away, which you won't because you like living, he can do anything he wants with you. Hyunwoo could even use you as bait to try to draw out Yew again if he gets impatient.

But you know, as certainly as you've ever known anything, he would die before doing so.

Slowly, you nod. How could you not after everything he's done for you.

Hyunwoo smiles a little, his shoulders sagging slightly. He leans back against the seat, glancing out the window. “We'll move your things into my room. That window faces a brick wall. Should've put you there to begin with, but Jooheon suggested leaving you where you were. To give you your own space to help you feel more secure.”

“Where will you sleep?” you ask.

“On the floor of the same room in a sleeping bag if you're comfortable with that. Just to be close. Like I said, I don't think Yew would risk the attention of a forced entry and murder. It would be just in case. If you're not comfortable, I can take the couch.”

All the times your mother admonished you for not having matching cute pajamas suddenly ring in your head. You can just picture the smug look on her face. “I don't mind,” you squeak out, “but won't the floor be hard on your back? Especially after a few nights in a row?”

Hyunwoo's smile widens and he shakes his head. With a hint of pride, he says, “I've slept on a lot worse. Once, I fell asleep on concrete for a three hour nap.”

“Ow.”

“It wasn't too bad til I woke up. The shoulder I got shot in didn't like it. It's sensitive to cold.”

“You got shot?” You shift to completely face him, looking between his shoulders as if the wound was recent. “When? Are you okay?”

Hyunwoo laughs at your concern. “It was a few years ago. I’m fine, no lasting damage. Just gets a little achy when it's cold.”

“Oh.”

He glances out the window. “We should go in. Same way as we went out. Ready?”

There's a loaded question. Regardless, you answer, “Yes.”

You're not sure what you were expecting in Hyunwoo's room, but it definitely wasn't this. To call it Spartan would be too generous. The only furniture in the gray-walled room is a plain, metal-framed bed, a small trashcan, and a dresser closer to the side of a bedside table than an actual dresser. A large water bottle, the kind you remember jocks walking around with in high school, sits beside the bed on the floor along with a phone charger.

There's nothing personal. Of course, Hyunwoo can't have anything too personal on a deep-cover mission, but still. It looks more like a spartan hotel room than a bedroom.

As you stand in the doorway, clutching your pillow, you hear Hyunwoo shuffle out of the bathroom to stand just behind you. “I changed the sheets while you were in the shower, so you're all set,” he says.

“Thanks,” you say. Walking into the room feels like an intrusion, but you make yourself do it anyway. You step around the already laid-out sleeping bag for Hyunwoo, hesitating before you sit on the bed. When you look to the door, you're glad you did sit.

Hyunwoo is standing in the doorway, still drying his hair with a towel. His tan skins absolutely glows between the low light and the warmth from his shower. The plain gray sweatpants and white tank are hardly sexy on their own, but on Hyunwoo, clinging in all the right places and leaving just enough to imagination. What would it be like if instead of sleeping separately, you could sleep against him...

He drops the towel into the hamper in the hall. “Want me to turn off the light?”

“Yes, please. Thanks.” You quickly dive under the blankets, facing away from him. Hopefully he didn't notice you staring. The sheets smell like the detergent Hyunwoo bought for you. For a crazy second, you wish they still smelled like him.

The room goes dark. Hyunwoo's bare feet pad across the room. The nylon of the sleeping bag crinkles as he slides inside.

“Are you sure you're okay with the floor?” you ask quietly.

“The sleeping bag’s actually not bad,” he replies. “Lots of padding.

“Ok. Good night. Sweet dreams.” The last part slips out naturally. You screw your eyes shut, waiting for his reaction.

He only chuckles under his breath. “Good night.”

You were afraid knowing Hyunwoo was in the room with you would make it impossible to sleep. However, the adrenaline rush brought on by your eavesdropping finally catches up with you and you fall asleep shortly after settling in.

Unfortunately, sleep brings you back to a place you wish you weren't familiar with.

You know each sharp turn and twist of the abandoned street, each slash of shadow, even the haunting smell of garbage and fear and the uneven dips in the ground beneath your feet. You know how this dream goes. You know how it ends.

You wish you could fight to change it. The times you’ve tried to are countless. Unluckily, this isn't one of those dreams.

There's only one street with no end in sight. Every branching alley is blocked, sealed with impossibly high walls of bricks. Each building you pass is boarded up, derelict and hopeless. 

The asphalt and concrete echoes with your racing footsteps and panting breath. Potholes and garbage grab at your feet. Every time you stumble, the noise behind you gets louder. A distant, reverberating growl of some monster. You don't know what it is. But animal instinct tells you it's danger. It's death if it catches you.

A faint light beckons in the distance. You run faster even as your legs feel like toothpicks ready to snap. The light gets brighter and brighter, just as your dread grows and grows.

When you reach the source of the light, your hand involuntarily reaches out and opens the warehouse door.

Don't do it! you scream at yourself. It's about as useful as yelling at the character of a horror film not to enter the haunted basement.

Inside, the only light is a single, bare light-bulb swinging from a cord high above the dirt floor. It sends shadows scuttling like rats around precariously stacked boxes. Plenty of places to hide, but you know they won't be enough.

The door behind you rattles and shakes like it's been struck by a battering ram. Although your entire body is on the verge of collapse, you lurch forward with a sob.

Hide. Hide. Hide!

You dive behind one of the towers of boxes just as the door explodes open. Gravel digs into your knees and hands. Tears sting your split lip. Your heart is beating so hard you feel dizzy. Unable to do anything else, you curl in a trembling ball. Praying for the miracle that never comes. Not this time.

The boxes that provided your pathetic cover fly away.

“Found you,” a deep voice says with a sinister chuckle.

The fear that strikes you is so potent you choke on it. You try to scramble away, but a foot connects harshly with your shoulder, sending you sprawling into the corner.

“You won't escape this time,” that voice says again. You could die a thousand times and never forget that voice.

Someone shouts your name in the distance. You know that voice too, trust it, but it's too far away. They won't reach you before it happens.

Hands enclose around your throat, jerking you up. Desperation turns your fingers to claws that scratch at those hands, but to no avail. You can't fight the dark.

Metal presses itself to your head.

But instead of the usual bang and flash of light, water fills your nose and mouth.

Spluttering and coughing, you're jerked from the nightmare. The faceless murderous wraith is gone, leaving Hyunwoo's worried face filling your sight, dimly back-lit by the lamp.

You shrink away, but you don't get far. Hyunwoo drops the water bottle in his hand to cup your face.

Hyunwoo says your name again, eyes darting all over you. His grip tightens, forcing you to look at him. His voice is soft and calm, but commanding. He repeats your name. “Look at me. It's okay. It is okay. You're safe.”

You can only stare at him a moment before you burst into tears that are equal parts relief and exhaustion. Your arms shoot from their petrified position against your chest to wrap around his. They're weak, robbed of all strength by the nightmare. Yet Hyunwoo lets you pull him closer, burrowing as much of yourself against him as you can.

He encircles your shoulders like a weighted blanket. Surrounded by the soothing weight and solidness of Hyunwoo, your trembling slowly eases to occasional shivers. The lingering, grasping phantoms fade away under steady strokes of his hand from the top of your head to your back.

“Nightmare?” he finally asks when your breathing mirrors his.

You nod, not daring to speak. You're afraid his gentleness, so different from your dream, will make you cry all over again.

“Has this happened before?”

You shake your head. Then you nod again. It's happened too many times to count. Nights of waking up alone and breathless in sheets sticky with sweat. Maybe this time, your subconscious knew someone else was nearby to be your savior.

“The first night after we brought you back here,” Hyunwoo says, continuing to stroke your back, “you had a nightmare. I wonder if it was the same. That nightmare was so bad you screamed then too. It made me angry.”

“Why would it make you angry?” you ask, your voice raw. Had you really screamed? You'd kept it in all the other times.

He doesn't answer at first. Then, his voice so quiet it's barely a whisper, he says, “Because I couldn't do anything. I... don't like not being able to keep you safe.”

What did he mean by that? No one can protect you from your own mind. At least he'd saved you in reality. Why did a nightmare matter? You sniffle, your tired brain trying to make sense of it and failing.

“Are you alright now?” Hyunwoo asks. “I can call Jooheon. He probably has some medication ---”

“No. I'm okay,” you interrupt. It was just a nightmare. A terrifying one, but you shouldn't disturb Jooheon over it. Half to reassure him, half to reassure yourself, you repeat, “I'm okay.”

“I'm not sure about that.”

Hyunwoo tries to pull away, but you don't release him. You can't.

“Please.” Your voice cracks. You hate it and how small it sounds. “Please don't go.”

“I won't.” He pats your back. A sigh brushes the top of your head, but it sounds more exhausted than annoyed or frustrated. “I need you to let go for just a little though, okay? I'm just going to grab a dry shirt. I'll be right back. Promise.”

Carefully, Hyunwoo peels your arms away from his torso. He winces as he stands from his kneeling position. Guilt pricks you. How long had he stayed in that position during your meltdown? Definitely too long for comfort.

You hadn't noticed you were shivering again until Hyunwoo comes back wearing a new shirt and carrying an additional blanket. Scooting over, you pull the blankets up to your chin and grab the new one as soon as Hyunwoo shakes it out over the bed. When he slides under the blankets himself, it feels like he brought a furnace with him. Like a cat to a fire, you can't help moving closer to him. To your surprise, he puts an arm around you to draw you snug to his side.

Lifting your head just enough to see his face, you find his eyes closed. His chest is already moving up and down in sleep's lazy rhythm. Damn, the man can fall asleep at the drop of a hat.

Hyunwoo suddenly speaks, his eyes remaining closed. “You've been brave through all of this, braver than I expected. I'm proud of you.”

You're unsure if he expects an answer, but you decide not when he continues speaking.

He sighs sleepily. “This is just for tonight.” The way he mumbles it makes it sound almost as if he's telling himself that as much as you, but your fatigued brain is probably playing tricks on you.

“I know,” you reply, tentatively lowering your head to his chest. Beneath your ear, his heartbeat thumps like a lethargic lullaby.

“You'll talk with Jooheon about this nightmare tomorrow. He can help.”

“Okay.”

The nightmare doesn't return.

[imaginesforjohnnydepp]

Violette pt 2

spring 2016

He dreamed about her again, just like last night and the night before. Johnny hadn’t seen Violette in eighteen years, and he thought it was very odd but was still very curious. Is she remarried with kids of her own? Is she still in the medical field? Johnny still had the note she left him along with her rings; they were tucked away in a box somewhere in a storage unit, he didn’t want to throw them away, so he took out a storage unit some years ago.

Why was he thinking about her now, of all times? He loved Violette once, of course he did, it was impossible when she made it so easy. She was gorgeous and funny and sweet and smart, a southern girl with a cute accent, and was a wonderful cook who loved him and supported him every early in his career. He thought back to their marriage, how wonderful it was for ten years before he fucked it up. He loves his kids and is grateful for Vanessa for giving him two kids who adore him, but Johnny hated what he did to Violette in the process.

He thought that if he ever had kids, Violette would be the mother. They tried for their own, and when that didn’t work, they considered adoption until his career took off and he was always away filming one movie or another, and then he met Vanessa at that party. Johnny remembered the look on Violette’s face when he told her that Vanessa was pregnant, he never forgot it. She tried to shrug it off, but as weeks passed and Vanessa’s stomach got bigger and bigger, he saw the toll it took on her, no matter how she tried to hide it: Violette began losing weight, she stopped eating (at least around him), she always looked tired no matter how early she went to bed. And the first time she met Vanessa.

The women were friendly with each other in the way that kids would be when introduced to each other in a play group by their parents for the first time. He thought everything was going well, Violette was talking about turning one of the spare rooms into a nursery, she bought stuffed animals and clothes and supplies, helped assemble the crib. Johnny saw her reaction in the marriage counselor’s office when the counselor said he had to cut off Vanessa and his child if they wanted the marriage to work; Violette never had a good poker face, and in another setting, he thought she would make a good actress with her ability to display her emotions on her face, how she always made him feel something, something he told her plenty of times. He didn’t think she’d actually leave.

Of course it was a possibility, but he couldn’t bear the thought of Violette leaving, but one day Johnny came home, all of her stuff was gone, and there were divorce papers, rings, and a letter in a manila envelope on the bed. It was a no-fault divorce, and all she asked for was a court order to take back her maiden name, and nothing more, even though she was entitled, and the judge told her she had to take it. The divorce took six months, and she would always transfer the money back every month since she already had a job waiting on her in Louisiana, and that was the last time he’d see or hear from her. It was seven in the morning, and he had a meeting with his lawyer Laura at ten so he decided to get ready, grabbing his phone off the charger and heading into the kitchen for breakfast. As he poured the milk into his bowl of Cheerios, his phone rang; who could be calling at this hour? “Good morning Laura.”

And Laura jumped right into it: “I did a Google search for your ex wife Violette Becnel and fortunately, I didn’t have to do too much digging. She is a pediatrician in New Orleans and she went on Facebook to defend you. I’m on her Facebook page right now if you want to hear what she said.” Johnny almost dropped the milk at the news. Why didn’t he think to do a Google search before? “Yeah, sure.” The thought of Violette out there rooting for him filled him with joy.

“The statement is pretty long so prepare yourself” My heart breaks at the news of the death of my former mother-in-law Betty Sue. She was a wonderful, kind, amazing woman, and I will miss her dearly, and I send my thoughts and condolences to the Depp family, and since I’m on the topic of Depp, I would like to make one thing clear. Johnny Depp and I were married for 10 wonderful years, and while no marriage is perfect, not once was he ever abusive towards me. I don’t believe he is capable of such a thing, and this version of him that is being portrayed in the media is not the Johnny I know. I wish him and his family the best in this trying and difficult time. His mom loved Violette, his entire family loved Violette, and they were just as upset about their divorce as he was. “Do you think she’d be willing to testify?” Johnny didn’t think she would come to defend him after he publicly humiliated her, but she was never the one to hold grudges.

“I can send her a message, but I don’t know how long it will take for her to respond.” He swallowed a bit of cereal before responding, “that’s fine. Thanks Laura-- wait! Do you think you can leave my number for her too? So she knows it’s legit?” And also because he wanted an excuse to talk to her. “Sure, if that’s what you want. See you later Johnny.” Johnny hoped that Violette answered Laura’s message, there was still a lot of things he wanted to tell her, things he had to tell her.

Violette

“Do you think you’ll have to testify?” Violette’s mother Claudia asked, cutting into her omelette. “If it comes that, then yeah, but I have a hard time believing Johnny could hurt someone like that.” After Violette wrote the post, she instantly had a barrage of comments, some calling her an abuse apologist, others saying she was bribed by Johnny with money, and others siding with her, and her messages were a mess. “None of this makes sense, there has to be somethin’ deeper going on,” her sister Angela. She woke up early this morning to do a little research; from what she saw, Amber was leaving him (after the death of Betty Sue), and if Johnny didn’t do what she wanted, she would publicly lie about him according to Doug’s article.

Violette then read an article that contained a statement by the police department, which completely contradicted the statement made by Amber’s team. Then Amber filed for divorce with no mention of spousal abuse; Violette knew Doug and she knew he wouldn’t lie about anything like this, and this was all she needed to know to see that Johnny was innocent. “I still can’t believe your fool ass stickin’ your neck out for him,” Angela grumbled. “Lawyers re probably gonna call on me anyway, so I might as well get it over with. Ain’t no way he touched her.” She saw the new set of pictures, “evidence” of the abuse but Violette didn’t see anything out of the ordinary except for a red mark on her lip, with no visible swelling or bruising. 

“Johnny is innocent, and I know you know that.” Her mom and Angela both loved Johnny; her mom treated her like a son, always letting him sneak a piece of food during the holidays, and Angela just loved having a brother. “Please, I know you’re not happy about how our marriage ended, but none of that matters right now, that was years ago. What matters now is that he’s being accused of something he didn’t do,” Violette pleaded with her mom and sister. Surely they had to know that he was innocent, even if they weren’t exactly his biggest fans. “Well... it does sound out of character for him. And I read that woman was arrested for hitting her ex wife,” Angelea came to her decision.” 

“If Johnny was really out here beatin’ up on women, I’m sure Betty Sue would smack him back to Kentucky,” Violette’s mother agreed. The family of three finished their meal, with Angela picking up the bill before going their own ways; Violette did her errands, going to the sore and doing laundry. It was a little after two when she finished, and she wanted to take a nap before she went to the hospital to check on the new baby tonight. Violette always loved seeing the new babies after they were born, loved seeing them grow into little beings with each check-up, and they always looked happy to see her. She was always a natural with kids and they seemed to gravitate towards her no matter where she was; Violette sometimes babysat the kids who lived in her building.

It was closest she got to motherhood. That and being aunt to Angela’s kids, her niece and nephew, but they were all grown up with lives of their own. Violette ironed her scrubs while she waited for her Facebook page to load; she wanted to leave a message on her book club’s wall about suggestions for their next read. Her last post had gone viral, and was still attracting attention and comments, all of them gone unanswered, and she was glad she never downloaded the app. Her messages were full, and at the top of the old messages, was a new one highlighted in blue by a woman named Laura Wasser; she clicked on it.

The message read: My name is Laura Wasser, I’m a lawyer representing Johnny Depp, and I was wondering if it would be okay to speak to you about a possible written testimony to be given to the court. Below are my cellphone number and email address, and Johnny’s phone number in case you have any questions. Feel free to reach me at any time.

There was an email address and two phone numbers, both with Los Angeles area codes. The name sounded familiar, so Violette clicked on Laura’s page; she really is a lawyer who lives in Los Angeles. She dialed one of the numbers, and the line rang three times before someone answered, a man’s voice. “Hello?” A voice she hadn’t heard in years. 

“Johnny? Johnny is that you?” So maybe Laura is the real deal. “Violette? How are you?” To say she was freaking out would be an understatement. Eighteen years without speaking to her the ex husband who cheated on her, and how here she is, talking to him. “I should be the one asking you that. Are you okay? How are you holding up? How’s your family?” Words kept falling from her mouth and she couldn’t make herself shut up. 

“Violette, Violette, calm down. Not everything’s fine but we’re managing. Let’s not talk about that right now. I... I had to talk to you.” He wanted to talk to her? “About what?” “Just to apologize... for everything.” “Really, that was a long time ago and... I’m past that now. There’s no need to apologize.” 

This had to be some kind of dream, maybe she fell asleep at her desk in her office while doing paperwork, because there’s absolutely no way she’s speaking to her ex husband. Violette had to change the subject, and fast. “I got a message from your lawyer. She gave me your number, but I didn’t think it would actually be your number but I had to check.” “Listen, you don’t have to testify if you don’t feel comfortable with it--” “No, Johnny, I want to. I know you’re innocent and I’m so sorry you’re going through this.” 

She really did feel bad for him, and to be going through this after his mom dies with the entire world thinking he’s some violent drunk who beats women. “None of this is your fault, it’s mine. I was so fucking stupid to think of starting something with her.” “It’s not your fault, and it’s not my fault. You were in love, and we’ve all done stupid things when we’re in love.” Violette winced as she automatically though of her former ex fiance Anthony. He had three kids with three different women, but she didn’t care because she was sure he was the one.

Her mom and Angela didn’t like him, and she turned into a different person completely, watching movies and shows she never liked, neglecting her collection of 19th century novels and changed her personality, all for a man who came up with excuses to get out of wedding planning. “Do you need testimonies from my mom and sister as well?” She knew her mother wouldn’t hesitate to defend him, even if they were mad at him. “I’ll check with Laura first but I want to ask you something.” “Sure, go ahead.”

“If it’s not too much trouble... I was wondering if you would... like to meet up?” This wasn’t something she was expecting. What would they even say to each other after all this time? Violette always wondered what she would do in the very unlikely case she’d run into Johnny, and after their divorce, she moved back home so there wouldn’t even be a chance of that ever happening. “I don’t even live in California, but sure, we could do that. If you want, you could come to New Orleans. I have an extra room in my apartment, and I don’t think anyone would bother you.” What in the fuck is she thinking?

What is she going to do, being in the same room with her ex husband? “Are you sure? I can get a hotel room or something. I don’t wanna put you out or anything.” “It’s no problem, really. I’ll be at work the whole day anyway.” Violette hadn’t lived with a man in years, and it would be quite an adjustment to live a man who saw her naked almost every day. “I’d like that. Thank you Violette.” 

“No problem. Just let me know when you’re comin’ down.” “I will. Talk to you later?” She smiled as she unplugged her iron. “Talk to you later Johnny.” She hung up the phone and grabbed a hanger to hang up her clothes; she had an extra shirt in her car for when she got off. It was now fifteen minutes after and she wasn’t due until six, so she had enough time for a long nap.

Once in her room, Violette changed into a tank top and shorts and slipped under the covers. It was only as she drifted off that she remembered that she opened up her two-bedroom apartment to Johnny and that they’d be sharing the bathroom that was connected to her room.

@takemepedropascal

[kurtty-drabbles]

House of M (part 3)

N/A: Is this au still alive? YES.  But I want to try to keep this au alive, nothing grandiose here. BTW, I better introduce the villain right away.

@dannybagpipesarecalling @djinmer4 @tieflingteeth @muninandhugin

When a person has money, lots of money is only natural for people to inquire where the money comes from. Sometimes, the person comes from a privileged background, furthermore is easy to pinpoint why- how many riches families like to send their kids to private institutions? not so many, and that´s another indication of how wealthy they are- and Genosha doesn´t have a higher count of wealthy families. A small law that Magento made is still in vigor to prevent any social conflict.

Sometimes, however, a person appears to have money in unusual ways. Seldom, one can claim to have a winning lottery ticket. The chances of this happening are slim to none-not impossible and the winner certainly prefers anonymity- but it has happened before.

Or the other option is to believe the person got the money thanks to some illicit way. When people see Logan Howlett sailing in his yacht-showing zero characters of a rich man from a prestigious background- people are quick to jump to conclusions.

Logan is far from being a man from a nice background- that is something anyone can see- but, how he got the money is far related to crimes, at least, not ones made by him.

His yacht is sailing in the Mediterranean ocean. The man just wakes up-leaving his new girlfriend sleeping soundly on the bed- and is admiring the view. The ocean is indeed impressive and Logan takes a whiff of the salty scent with a grin on his face. "Goot to be here"

His cellphone rings. Logan has the mind to ignore the call in favor of the view- the ocean is so agreeable now. Logan is almost singing a sailor´s song. Almost- but the phone is still rining and Logan rolls his eyes and tisk too loud. "What?" his tone is a bit barbed and unapologetic about it.

"How is the rich man´s life?" Raven Darkholme´s voice is unique and Logan learns to identify her timbers very well. Logan sighs louder and is threatening to end the call-an empty threat he himself is all aware of - as the woman starts to cackle too loud-loud enough to give a migraine to Logan- and then she speaks again.

"Oh, Logan...I´m not here to bother your rich man´s life...which model are you dating this time? Vanessa?" Raven makes a pondering sound. And Logan wonders if he can toss his cellphone in the ocean. "saw in the magazine ...dating Swedish models, are we?" there´s this chided tone and Logan rolls his eyes.

"What? Will you give me tips on how to date Swedish models or how to break up things with them?" and Logan feels so proud of this line.

"I´m not here to fight, Logan...not to tease you"

"Good, because your sources are wrong...not dating a Swedish woman...I´m with Mariko" Logan feels silly to use her name. In fact, this woman makes him feel so silly. Love is an emotion so new for him. "She´s great....too great for me, but, I´ll try to be the man she needs"

"That´s...noble of you" no sarcasm in her tone. Rare, but, it does happen sometimes. "I´m not here to talk about your love life...Logan, do you remember about Project X?"

Logan can be sarcastic. "The program which makes me this?" and Logan pops his claws. Raven can´t see it. Raven can hear it. "No, Raven...I completely forget about it..."

"Look, a few weeks ago. Juggernaut tried to kidnap the Genoshas princes...it fails for obvious reasons, but, you see my son is convinced that a woman...yes, a woman faced Juggernaut, could be related to this program" and now reality kicks Logan´s face. Hard.

"Look, when we settle that agreement...I was speaking the truth...the only subjects of that program, as far I know, are me, Laura and Gabby" and the man grith his teeth. "That´s why I accept their money...instead of killing them...Laura and Gabby deserve a normal life...when I testify, and just to be clear, I told you I was sure there´s only me, Laura and Gabby....if there´s another subject...I have no clue"

"I see...Look, I don´t want to worry you" Logan´s expression says otherwise. "And I think there´s 99% of chances of my son taking the scene out of context...but, I want to be sure...I´ll say her name and I want to know if you know or if jog your memory"

Logan grunts but accepts.

"Katherine Anne Pryde"

"Never heard of..."

"Are you sure?"

"My memory is a bit fuzzy, I´ll give you that, but...this name rings no bells"

"Ok, thank you, Logan...have a nice trip"

And just like that, the call is ended. Logan chuckles slightly. "Always have to get the last word"

He turns up to see Laura already up and watching the birds flying away. The look on her face really makes Logan never regret accepting this money. __________________________________________________________________________________________

Yana Rasputin has her fair share of bad calls and bad decisions. Making a demon do her chores wasn´t the best decision-the demon has his own unique style and Yana had to bear the consequences- but, in all her life she never expected Piotr to do anything inherently bad.

Yana´s mind peaks at some images in the past and how Piotr didn´t accept Katya breaking up the relationship with him, and while Yana can´t fault Kitty for that, she refuses to think Piotr would hold any grudges.

The phone rings and in a moment Yana´s world is upside down. "My brother is being arrested for attempted murder?" Yana parrot the person´s information in a question. The man has a German accent-oh, must be Nightcrawler. The only German in Genosha and one to make such a call- who is explaining the situation.

"Piotr Rasputing will face charge...and I recommend call a lawyer, young miss, your brother seems to like to assault any men Miss Pryde ever enter in contact"

Yana has a grim image in her mind and needs to know. "Is Kitty alright?"

"Yes, she´s shaken...but, she´s alright..."

"And...and my brother?"

"I didn´t use unnecessary force to stop him, only what´s necessary to make him stop. Right now, he´s sedated, but, is fine...would you like to talk with him?"

"No, I mean, yes but not by phone...Tell him I´m coming" and Yana turns off the cellphone. She has a lawyer just for that and hopes he can help in this case.

"Berto...I need help! my brother did something really stupid" and Sunspot can´t even pretend to be surprised by this revelation.

__________________________________________________________________________________________

Mastermind was a man who served Magneto proudly. A man that loves illusions more than reality is not one to be a fatherly type- and less so as the man loves to date younger women- Regan Wyngarde can say how her father was foolish to trust Magneto. And Regan will deny ever missing her father- not a fatherly type, but, he was her only father...- as right now, she looks at the helmet in her hands.

"Don´t worry...you´ll have a Jewish funeral, Erik...and I´ll destroy Genosha" she promises to put the helmet on the table. One of her servants arrives.

"Regan" and stops as the blonde woman give a seething look. "I mean, Lady Mastermind...should we inform the 3 rulers of Genosha what happened to Erik?"

"Erik may have been a bad father...but he was their fathers...they have this right." and is all the information the servant needs.

Now, Regan has to set her next move in action. Regan has to wait and Regan is now a patient woman...so unlike her father.

[kinetic-elaboration]

October 25: 1x20 Court Martial

Now that Chopped is done I am free to watch TOS again. Today’s ep: Court Martial, a wonderful combination of two of my favorite things: Captain Kirk and Legal Stuff.

Look at that backdrop. I forgot how many Very 50′s backgrounds they had in this show.

The Intrepid is here for repairs! Such a lost opportunity to show more Vulcans in Starfleet.

I don’t entirely get why the Commodore has his own special transport pad. I guess it must allow him to beam himself places without the use of a ship but like... to where is he beaming?

Lol that absolutely terrible sailor suit outfit on the little girl. I can only assume it’s a school uniform as it’s the only thing she ever wears.

Can you believe how this whole episode is based, essentially, around allegedly broken regulations? I mean I know it’s more than that and they do a good job explaining why it’s bad to eject the pod early (”when there is no emergency”) but like, essentially, the underlying conditions of emergency are not in Kirk’s control. It’s possible to just skip officially calling the emergency while nevertheless acting in a way that is appropriate for an emergency, and so it comes down to “did he first declare the emergency officially and then act in accordance with the declared emergency or did he just skip the first step?” rather than “did he act too quickly?” since HE was the one who determined if the conditions warranted an emergency.

Having said all that I still don’t get what an ion pod is or where it was or why it had to be ejected at all. Or how Finney got out of the pod if it was ejected.

Vulcanian expedition?!?

Kirk’s default voice is just flirty; I’m sorry but it is. Even talking to his old school classmates, who are VERY quick to judge him harshly and hate on him, implying they were probably never friends, he’s All Charm by default. And he doesn’t drop the charm even when he starts politely fighting with them.

Bones using Jim to flirt--with Jim’s ex-girlfriend! “Did you see that guy over there, he’s pretty famous, and we’re friends!”

I love Areel Shaw and I’m just gonna say I think she’s my favorite Kirk girlfriend.

Charged with culpable negligence. As opposed to...not culpable negligence?

When he was a midshipman...

What’s with all these professor & student friendships??

I cannot believe part of the Finney & Kirk backstory is that he literally named his daughter after Kirk. Like that’s so intense! I feel like it kind of changes everything but I can’t entirely untangle how.

This “I can’t believe you filed a report about my error” backstory is literally the beginning of STID except Kirk is the Spock of this scenario.

Star Trek: Law and Order. Bum bum.

This whole idea of pitting Kirk against a computer is clever in that people to this day are like “but computers are infallible?” but also dumb because Kirk >>> Computer obviously.

Having drinks with the ex and he turns the charm up to 11.

All of this is wildly unethical, from her telling him about the prosecution’s case, to her BEING the prosecution.

I actually read an article recently about this isn’t, or shouldn’t be, her job as prosecutor, to drum him out of the service in disgrace. Her job should be to find the truth in a more neutral way.

Wtf are all these totally useless federal reporters doing here?

I’m a pro-book person but this is a HILARIOUS anti-computer speech. Like--the law is in the computer dude! It is! It’s the same law as in the books. Intergalactic Westlaw is available to you. And then he goes off on this weird rant about Moses, like--dude, Moses isn’t in the reporters OR Westlaw OR whatever Starfleet code is actually at issue here.

Kirk likes him though.

Shaw in the dress uniform with the long skirt hot damn.

Not even the computer can pronounce Spock’s full name. And he’s been demoted again.

Vulcanian Scientific Legion of Honor.

Spock isn’t having any of this. “I don’t dispute it. I just... actually I do dispute it because it’s nonsense.”

His entire testimony is the equivalent of “You don’t have all the facts.” / “Which are?” / “I love him.”

The defense doesn’t need to question him because he’s already testified for the defense.

This is such a hilarious use of McCoy. For the first time ever we’re told he’s actually a psychologist on top of being a surgeon and GP and then his whole testimony isn’t even really medical? It’s just like wild speculation, which being a doctor and an “expert in psychology” somehow qualifies him to provide?

I love how Kirk’s service record just goes on and on and on. Areel doesn’t do herself any favors objecting to it; that just draws attention to it. As the defense lawyer knows by insisting it continuing and then cutting it off for being comically long.

Kirk: “I can be level-headed in an emergency. This wasn’t my first rodeo.”

This chair design is SO BAD. I know it needs to be like this for the plot but omg putting the pod release button on the chair at all (like does the captain have to jettison pods a lot?) and then especially directly under the red alert button, and then putting both of them just out there without any kind of cover or anything--that’s just waiting for someone to lean on his chair arm and make a deadly mistake.

Also nothing else is even labeled lmao.

This is a very impressive deep fake.

This whole ion storm does not really seem like a scary emergency situation lol. It seems like Kirk and everyone else are basically keeping their heads.

“You may be able to beat your next Captain at chess” Kirk as chess master confirmed.

“I didn’t realize how close you and my father were even though I was literally named after you.”

Obligatory Bones accuses Spock of not caring about Jim scene.

“Why thank you, Doctor, my blood is very cold.”

I can’t believe Spock programmed the computer to play chess with him. Probably so he could practice for Jim.

The lawyer’s outfit is hilarious: little pocket for a pen in front. Is he... a civilian lawyer? Is that even allowed?

Here is talking about the Bible again. And the Magna Carta. First, it’s always funny when a bunch of real things are followed by some fake science fiction things. And second, he’s pretty obviously just talking about the Constitution, and like maybe a very tiny bit about the Magna Carta. There’s no right to counsel in the Bible.

Really glad to know the Martians care about the right to an attorney though. And that the Alpha 3 Colonies protect the right of confrontation.

I bet Spock is unimpressed with this Drama.

Why did they change out of their dress uniforms?

How convenient that Finney was one of only three people who could change the computer. I mean I guess this is a permissions thing--but why would the records officer have that? Not that I know what a records officer is.

“White noise device” you can’t fool me, that’s a microphone.

Also another hilarious use of McCoy. Do they really NEED the ship’s surgeon to put a microphone against people’s chests? “Don’t mind me, just stealing your heartbeats.”

Like the general concept of this is nifty story telling but some of the details are....uh.... funny.

Captain’s log: “We brought a young girl onto the ship even when it’s in a dangerous position so we could use her against her father.”

Finney really was playing the looooooong game of revenge lol. And yet it still doesn’t seem well thought out. What was the next part of his plan? Somehow get back OFF the ship once Kirk’s career is ruined, and then live the rest of his life under an assumed name? Never seeing his daughter again? No Starfleet career even though it’s allegedly so important to him? Seems a little bit like everyone loses.

Lol not letting Spock leave the bridge because the court martial’s not ever. “Sorry, we all might die, but court IS still in session.” Even though they ALREADY KNOW the alleged victim is still alive!

I love that Uhura is essential personnel. They didn’t keep the navigator on board, even though they apparently need one, but they did keep Uhura.

Oh no, Kirk’s flimsy shirt, falling apart again!

“Beaten and sobbing, Finney told me how to fix the ship.” Bitter much?

Kirk, being a badass, fixing the ship all by himself.

Honestly I just really love a narrative in which an upright man plays by the rules, does the right thing, and behaves in good faith and is ultimately vindicated and rewarded.

Now everyone agrees there’s no crime and thus no point to continuing the court-martial.

He’s defending Ben Finney! Good luck with that.

I love how Kirk’s face goes from full-on-romance to slightly-embarrassed-serious-Captain as soon as he remembers, hey, I really AM on the bridge!

“She’s a very good lawyer.” / “Obviously.”

This was such a good Kirk episode, both for showing off all his good qualities, and for getting some interesting insight into his character. He strikes me as the kind of person who, because he’s so by-the-book, and because he’s smart and successful, inspires jealousy in other people, and thus has a lot of strained acquaintanceships--like with the other men at the bar. But he also has these really, really strong friendships and relationships: Areel Shaw, Spock and McCoy, and even Finney. I feel like he’s probably rather awkward with most people, but then when the relationship is established, he’s ride or die. And, he doesn’t hold grudges. I don’t think he really knew how upset Finney was about what happened literally 10+ years ago--especially if he had any say at all about Finney serving on his ship, and I suspect he could have at least vetoed him. And even after Finney tried to disgrace him and then actually kill him, he still didn’t seem to upset about it, or about his lawyer turning around and defending Finney.

I think Kirk likes the military in part because it gives him this very strict set of rules about interacting with other people, so he doesn’t have to make up his own. I bet the intensity of the service also allows him to form these stronger relationships, which do seem to suit him better. And when he doesn’t have anything else to fall back on, he INVARIABLY pulls out the charm: he does it with old classmates, random 21st century pilots, immortal teenage girls, and actual love interests. It’s his default mode. I think that makes sense for someone who’s very ambitious, very precise, very nerdy, very rules-oriented, and whose default mode as a young man, by his own admission, was “grim.”

Wow it is so much later than anticipated... I need to get to sleep!

Next ep is Return of the Archons, which I’ve only seen once and don’t remember super well. I think it’s a ‘society ruled by computers’ thing, which is fine. Maybe not as much of a classic as some other S1 eps, but it should be fun anyway.