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is-that-another-soulmate-au · 4 years

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Sun Touched Zuko AU!!

Tag list @chaoticidiott @mypureessence @fae-tales-personal

This won't be a soulmate AU but it will be Zukka for sure.

Zuko was born sick, so sick in fact that he was going to die. His mother prayed to Agni that he would live, prayed that the sun spirit would save her first born son. In the gardens she held him up to the Setting sun pleading. The suns rays caught in the amber stone on top of the alter set for worship and moved to Zuko's eyes. His hair changed from solid black to a golden blonde, he opened eyes and began to cry. He was touched by the Sun and lived.

Ursa couldnt have been more happy, her son was alive. "My little sunshine" she whispered with tears rolling down her cheeks as she held him close and rocked him in her arms.

When Ozai saw his son's golden hair he demanded that it be dyed black, but was willing to compromise when Ursa suggested they wait until he turns 5 so that the dyes don't harm him.

The first time they dyed his hair he asked his mom why, his bright molten eyes looking at her with confusion "because your father wants you to feel safer my sunshine, people will stare at you with that bright shining hair of yours"

"Oh, okay" was his only response that day. He never questioned it anymore when they touched up his roots weekly.

After his mother left him he felt alone in the world, his dad still staining his golden hair each week with more and more ink. All the while berating him when he couldnt control his fire well. Even with being touched by the spirit and having powerful fire he couldnt manage to control it, couldnt understand how to. Until master Piandou taught him swords and he applied his teachings to his fire.

The first time he used his swords to control the fire Piandou was more than impressed "Prince Zuko! That was amazing!"

"Thank you Master, thinking of the swords as an extension helped me control the flames better" his smile soon faded when his father appeared

"Yes, great work Zuko, I am pleased to see you have learned how to control your flames, however mixing these arts in this fashion is unacceptable. Come with me"

After that he wasn't allowed back at Piandou's unless he was accompanied by either his father, or an advisor to make sure he practiced correctly.

On the day of his fated Agni Kai Zuko had just gotten his roots retouched before entering the war meeting. When his father burnt him for speaking out of term his tears felt like lava running down his cheeks. He could smell the fresh dye burning and it hurt his lungs.

His Uncle immediately took him under his wing when he was banished "Zuko, my star," his Uncle pleaded when they were at the western airtemple "i need to dress your wound, the sun spirit would not want you to lose your eye"

Zuko reluctantly let his Uncle clean and dress his wound several times on their travels until it healed and scarred over. When it finally healed over Iroh smiled "there you go sunshine" he said as he wiped the tears forming in Zuko's good eye away "do not cry Prince Zuko, you are safe"

He still dyed his roots every week to uphold his place as prince. He did not know that his golden hair was his own symbol or royalty, that the sun chose him. Sure he knew the sun saved him, but he could not understand that it was because he was chosen.

When he arrived at the South pole and discovered the Avatar, he felt a breath of relief wash over him. He was going home, but he heavily underestimated the Avatar's abilities and lost him.

Soon he started a cat and mouse game with the monk and his two southern water tribe friends. After the northpole he slacked on dying his hair, not because he didnt want to, he simply didn't have the resources to do so. So his roots started to grow in gold.

"Well your looking golden Zuzu" Azula's voice startled Zuko when he walked into the hut they were staying in.

"Azula, what are you doing here" he glared at his younger sister

"You know, im my country. We greet one another before asking questions" she responded coldly "i was just passing through"

"To what do we owe the pleasure of your visit Princess Azula?" Iroh piped into the conversation

"No wonder you two click, always so quick and to the point. Father sent me, family is suddenly very important to him." She turned her head to look out the window "father regrets your banishment. He wants you home"

Zuko was frozen in place "father regrets?"

"I can see you need time to think this through, ill be by to collect you in the morning" Azula smiled softly before a flash of worry flashed on her face for a split second as she walked out the door.

When Azula's true intentions were revealed Zuko and Iroh managed to flee from her and her soldiers. When they stopped at the river to cut their hair Zuko looked at Iroh when he watched the inky hair fall into the river "your gold hair will conceal your identity fairly well my nephew"

"Yeah, it'll hide me pretty well" nobody had seen Zuko with his golden hair before. He hadnt seen his hair fully gold since age five.

On their travels his hair grew fairly fast now that it wasnt being dyed so often. It would catch the eye of several earth kindom citizens when he passed through towns. When he and Iroh were sitting against a building with a hat in front of them a young woman approached them and slipped a few gold pieces in "I know this might sound creepy, and I'm only asking this because I cannot resist. But may I kiss your hair sir? You can say no, I won't take my money back."

Zuko flushed a light shade of pink and scratched the back of his head "uhm, s-sure?" He mumbled out and leaned his head towards her. She placed a tender almost motherly kiss to the top of his head.

"Oh, your hair is so beautiful sir, it's like a million rays of sun. I wish you luck, i can only spare a little but if you'd take these small meals Im sure they'd help you" she said while offering two wrapped meals

They accepted and thanked her with small bows "what a nice young lady, huh?" Iroh said and nudged Zuko's arm

"Yeah, she was very nice"

When Zuko and Iroh found Azula and Aang battling in an abandoned earth town Azula pointed out his hair "wow Zuzu! You look just like a star! Where'd all that ink go?" When the fight ended and Iroh was injured Zukos cheeks felt like magma was pouring from his eyes.

"Zuko, I can hel-" Katara approached them

"LEAVE!" Zuko cried out, turning to Katara with golden tears running down his face.

While on the Ferry to Ba Sing Se Zuko was angry, not angry at anyone or anything in particular, he was just angry. "Hey" the voice of a man at his right side broke his brooding "names Jet"

"Lee" Zuko muttered out how cover name

"Yknow Lee, I hear the captain is eating like a king while we're stuck eating all his left overs" he paused "want to help me... liberate some food rations?"

It didn't take much to convince Zuko to join him. They liberated the food quickly without getting caught. Zuko found himself wandering the the front of the lower deck, leaning on the railing. "You know, as soon as I saw your scar, I knew exactly who you were" he paused as he approached Zuko "youre a refugee, like me. Thing is though, I've never seen hair like yours, let along your eyes."

Jet reached out and brushed Zuko's hair out of his face. "The freedom fighters could use a starlight like you, what do you say?"

Zuko smacked Jets hand away gently "thanks, but no thanks, you don't want me on your team, trust me"

In Ba Sing Se Iroh and Zuko made a life for themselves. They managed to have their own tea shop and apartment. Things were doing great, until Zuko went after the Avatar's bison, mind you he went there originally to take the bison captive, but when he saw that the creature was hurt he sheathed his swords and removed his mask, letting his golden hair free as he approached the bison "hey buddy, are you okay?" His voice was much softer than usual "oh no, here let me help you, this is going to hurt and I'm sorry, but I need to pull out this thorn" he talked to him the whole time he was pulling out thorns, gently rubbing the fur near it to sooth him.

When he pulled all of the thorns out he took out his swords "alright buddy, dont worry about the swords, im going to use them to cut you out of these chains, shhh its okay, you're okay" he continued to talk him through each of the six shackles "there we go big guy, now you need to get out of here, go find your friends- ah! Hey!" Appa knocked him over and gave him a thanks with a big sloppy dog like lick across his torso and face before taking off.

"You did well my nephew" Zuko shot up at his uncle's voice

"Uncle?" His startled voice wavered

"Now lets get you out of here and back home." And that they did.

When they made it back to their apartment Zuko felt dizzy, he held his head in his hand "I dont feel good" he managed to get out before collapsing and breaking a vase

"Zuko!" Iroh shouted as he rushed to his nephew to make sure he didnt hurt himself on any broken glass.

In his Angst coma Sokka heard his mother singing

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me Happy! When skies are grey. You'll never know dear, how much I love you, so please don't hide my sunshine away"

His sisters voice mocked his hair "youre hair makes you look like a dandelion, a weed can't take the throne!" Her cackling filled his ears.

There was a blinding light and a woman appeared with flowing gold hair and bright fire eyes "my dear star, why do you let yourself hurt so much?"

"I don't, who are you?"

"I'm Agni my dear, you do know I chose you right?"

"Why?"

"You are special my dear, your mother made sure to get my attention and I am so glad she did" the woman spoke as she placed her hand on his cheek. Filling him with the image of her reaching out to kiss his eyes as a baby. "You are meant for great things little star." Her voice faded as she herself did

He soon woke from his coma with a fresh breath. Taking charge in making sure his Uncle's tea shop did well, and helping him where he could. However Azula soon found them and summoned them to the palace under the guise of serving tea to the king. Things didnt end well and Zuko was thrown into a cave beneath the City with Katara.

"Why would they throw you in here!" Her angry and hurt voice filled his ears as he tried not to make her feel more uncomfortable by staying as far from her as possible.

when she mentioned her mother he turned around and spoke "thats something we have in common"

"What?"

"My mother was my only source of safety... she was the only one who defended me against my sister and my father. And one day my father was ordered to... do something terrible and my mother protected me somehow, I dont know what happened but when I was half awake she told me goodbye and when I fully woke up she was gone."

When they were separated and Azula had Iroh trapped she approached "Zuko, nows your chance to come home. Help me defeat the avatar and you can come home. Without inking your hair. Isnt this what you've always wanted? You'll have your honor back, you'll have fathers love back"

And despite all he had gone through he still chose the path of returning to his father. When he did return his father wanted to dye his hair but Azula spoke up against it "father, if I may. Zuko's hair is a symbol of the fire goddess Agni, if he were to take the thrown it'd be best to show that she has chosen him"

"Yes, that is true. Alright, off with you two"

Reuniting with Mai wasnt smooth, she confessed to him that her and Ty Lee connected and while he was saddened he just smiled "I'm glad you two are with eachother, you work well"

On the day of Black sun, with the information he had learned from Iroh and armed with the fact that his father was practically powerless without his bending. He approached him.

"Zuko, what are you doing here?"

"Im here to tell the truth"

Ozai let out a snort "telling the truth during an eclipse?" He waved off his gaurds "what do you have to say"

"First of all, Azula lied to you, she was the one who shot down the avatar"

"What?! Why would she lie about that?"

"Because the avatars not dead, he's probably leading this invasion right now"

"Get out! Get out if you know what's good for you!"

"Thats another thing, I'm not taking orders from you anymore"

"You will obey me or face the consequences!" As Ozai stood Zuko drew his dual swords and took a stance

"Think again. I am going to speak my mind and you are going to listen"

He went on to question his father "you knew Agni chose me as a child and that was the reason my hair turned gold. You knew this and yet you hid that from the world, you darkened my hair for years, and you have the gull to tell me I was lucky to be born. You! The tyrannical leader set out to destroy the world. you! My own father challenged me to an Agni Kai just for speaking out of term, how could you possibly justify a duel with a child!"

"It was to teach you respect!"

"It was cruel and it was wrong"

"Then you have learned nothing!"

"No! I've learned everything, and I've had to do most of it on my own" he paused "Growing up we were taught that the war was our nations way of spread joy, what an incredible lie that was, the other nations don't love us, they fear us, and they are right to fear us, we've brought the world to an era of hate and suffering, now we need to fill it with one of peace and joy"

"Your uncle has gotten to you hasnt he" Ozai laughed

"Yes, he has, and I've come to another decision, im going to join the avatar, and im going to help him take you down."

After announcing this he turned to leave but stayed to learn about what happened to his mother

"She's alive?" He said in a soft voice as a single golden tear rolled down his cheek

"Perhaps," Ozai paused "now i see that banishment is far too small of a punishment for treason" he said as he gathered lightning and shot it at Zuko who quickly redirected it right back at him before escaping.

After finding that Iroh had broken out of prison Zuko fled the firenation in a small war ballon and followed the Avatar's Sky bison to the western air temples. Their first encounter didn't go so well and he managed to burn Toph's feet but after helping them defeat the assassin and managing to form his words more properly and giving a genuine apology to Toph he was on the team.

Some time after joining and managing to break Sokka's dad, Suki and Chit Sang out of prison they were all sitting around the fire. "So.. uhm Zuko" Aang started

Zuko turned to look at him "yeah?"

"I have to ask, pretty bunch nobody in the firenation has golden blonde hair right?" Zuko absentmindedly ran his fingers through his hair at the question

"Yeah, and when you were first chasing us your hair was black, whats up with that?" Sokka added

"Oh, uh, well my hair was always dyed black because my father doesn't like my gold hair..." he paused "when I was born, I was sick, so sick that my parents thought I was going to die. But my mother pleaded with Agni to spare me, she took me to the sun worship alter in the palace gardens at sunset and held me up, pleading. When the last ray of light from Agni, my hair turned golden and I began to cry. So, in a sense the sun gave me my life"

"Like Yue!" Sokka piped up

"Like who?"

"Princess Yue! She was born sick just like you, and the moon spirit saved her. Well, she's the moon spirit now"

"Woah woah wait, is this the girlfriend you said turned into the moon?"

"Yep!"

"Well, just don't go falling for Zuko now, dont want to have your first boyfriend turn into the sun" Suki teased him

"Hey, at least I'd have a full set of spirit lovers"

Zuko's face turned beet red and the group laughed at him. Over the next few weeks of them being in close quarters Zuko found that he was growing feelings for the water tribe boy. Anytime he'd look at him he felt his stomach do a flip. But he didnt have time to think about his feelings.

Even though the sun touched prince tried not to think about Sokka on the mission with Katara, he couldn't help it. When they were returning Katara piped up "I know you like him" she paused to watch his surprised face "its okay you know, its fine if you like him. I dont have like you to let my brother like you. I may be cold to you but im not a monster like your father" she tied off the sentence by staring off "and besides, if Agni chose you, I think you would be safe for Sokka"

When they got back he heard sokka shout "You're back! Thank La youre safe!" Turning to Katara he expected to see Sokka running to hug his sister. Instead he was tackled to the ground with a hug from Sokka "how did it go Katara?" He asked from the ground while quite literally snuggling into Zuko with this hug that was still very much happening.

"I found him, and he was just so pathetic, i couldnt kill him"

Sokka then stood up and helped Zuko to his feet and placed a quick sneaky kiss to his cheek before moving to hug his sister, leaving Zuko frozen in confusion. He remained frozen until Suki came up to him "he's trying to confess silently, he's weird like that, corner him later if you want to hear an actual confession"

He however didn't manage to corner the now seemingly overly flirty blue boy until they were at ember Island. It wasnt until just before bed when Sokka was walking past Zuko's bedroom door. He reached out grabbed Sokka's shirt and yanked him into the room before slamming the door shut and pinning him to it. "What are you doing?"

"Wh-what do you mean? You're the one who dragged me into your room, what are you doing?"

"Dont play dumb with me Sokka, you've been flirting with me since I got back from my trip with your sist-"

"Actually ive been flirting with you since the temples, you just didn't notice until I kissed you"

"You mean until you missed"

"What?"

Zuko smirked "you missed" he mumbled before leaning closer "you went for a kiss but you missed"

They ended up spending the night sharing a room and a bed. When the morning sun peaked through the windows Zuko curled back into sokka who in turn pulled him closer. Both refusing to wake up until Katara knocked on the door and opened it "breakfast is ready, if you two love birds want some warm food you better hury and I better not see any hickeys"

"Ugh! Katara we just cuddled!" Sokka said as he burried his face in Zuko's hair.

Katara simply laughed "alright, but still, hury up."

When the day of the comet came and Zuko had to separate from Sokka he saw the worry in his blue eyes "Ive got this Sokka, Agnj chose me remembe, besides, I've got Katara with me and she's powerful" he placed a quick kiss to Sokka's lips "go take down those ships, and I'll see you by the timd the sun rises tomorrow."

And he was right, even though he was shot with lightning and Sokka broke his leg they both came out of the battle alive and together. When Zuko woke up to find Sokka curled up against him he smiled and let out a soft breath of pink fire. Relief.

"Woah, do that again" Sokka's groggy 'just woke up' voice rumbled against his shoulder

"Sorry I didn't mean to wake you, do you mean this?" He let out another breath of fire, this time a pale purple

"I didn't know you could do other colors of fire"

"Well, I couldn't until I went to the sunwarriors, Agni spoke to me there"

After Zuko's Coronation the firenation began righting their wrongs. It was a long struggle for sure. However two years into his reign with Sokka having practically moved in he found that he would soon have a partner to help him through these struggles.

The day had only just begun but Sokka was dragging Zuko to the turtleduck pond where they often sat together to simply relax. Sokka seemed a little antsy this time though "what's wrong Sokka?"

"Uhm, well, I have something I need to ask you," he paused and reached into his pocket while sinkning down to one knee. Zuko's breath caught in his throat as he saw Sokka pull out a betrothal becklace, the band was made with a fine red silk and the center piece was gold with a carving of a sun with a wave inside of it. "Zuko," he took a shaky breath "you've been by my side for two years now, you've held my hand through war and peace, quite literally, and you've done so while loving me whole heartedly. I can't imagine my life without you in it." Zuko could feel golden tears threatening to fall fram his molten eyes "Zuko, will you marry me?"

"Yes!" He heard himself responding before he could even think "Agni, yes Sokka, of course I'll marry you!"

Sokka moved from his kneeling position to lifting Zuko up into a kiss, holding him right under his rear. Zuko held his face in his hands as he pressed his lips to Sokka's as he was lifted up quite unceremoniously.

Once he was set down Sokka helped him put on the betrothal necklace. He reached up to touch the Golden pendant and smiled up at Sokka with gold tears falling down his cheeks.

Their marraige was held not long after, joining the southern water tribe and the firenation in a strong Union with a mixed culture wedding blues, silvers, reds and golds filled the wedding and reception as well as suns and moons.

Agni smiled down on the wedding that day, her chosen sunshine found his moon.

Yue smiled on them that night as they stood on the balcony holding one another. The boy who protected her finally found his light.

>Woo boy that was a long one! I sure hope you enjoyed it!<

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duubaloo · 5 years

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i havent felt this tired in so long

#i must be very weak minded but #i really wish i hadnt been born #like i wont say i want to die or dissapear because then i could en un hurting people #i just wish i didnt have to go through this #i have it easy my life is good #and still i feel like earth is too much #i feel too much #its exhausting #i feel i cant deal with anything #and i know what they say that you have won every battle because you are here now and that means you are strong #yeah im here but i dont want to #it pains me to havee to go through feels #i just wish i hadnt been born #my parents would haave a better dauther #my friends wouldd have a better friend #i feel like shit #and i just wish i didnt feel anything #im scared #everything puts me through so much anxiety im tired im done #i cant face a fucking problem without my hands trembling and my breath becoming quickly #why cant i just fucking face it why cant i deal with things #it makes me angry #and then it makes me sad #because i wish a had never been born

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unicornofdanger · 5 years

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The Girl from the South

Author’s Note: I’m going to make this two parts because I had an idea for it but then it completely changed once I started writing. I am very happy with how this turned out and I can’t wait to start the second part. I have always loved writing for Game of Thrones even if I’m not caught up with the show. I have 12 or 13 one shots that I’m working on that should be posted in the next couple of weeks. I hope that you guys like this.

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Masterlist & Prompt Lists

Game of Thrones Prompt List

Requested by @lxdyred

Robb Stark x Reader

14. “This isn’t going to be a war. It’s going to be a massacre.”

33. “I’m with him. For better or for worse.” “It’ll probably be worse.” “I knew that the day I met him.”

57. “Turn the pain into power, darling.”

58. “I love it when someone insults me. That means that I don’t have to be nice anymore.”

59. “Yes, I’m a bitch, but not yours.”

Word Count: 2,952

Warnings: Language, Mention of War

It was a chilly day at Winterfell. The cold wind found ways to seep through every crap and send shivers down peoples' spines. Y/n was bundled up in her furs as she walked down the corridor. She hadn’t been there long, only being married to the oldest Stark boy for a few months. She had just been in the North long enough to not enjoy the cold. Many people had told her that she would get used to the weather, but they were all from cold parts of Westeros as well.

Y/n was from southern Dorne, which was warner compared to its counterpart. It was probably all around better than it’s counterpart if Y/n were to give her honest opinion. Dorne had beautiful buildings, castles that towered over its many cities. When Y/n thought of Dorne she thought of color. She thought of the many different flowers that bloomed in the spring and how they were present throughout the summer. Thinking of Donre was thinking of warmth, of color, of the sun touch bare skin.

The North didn’t conjure such thought. It was cold and dark. It brought about weather that no one enjoyed, yet they stayed there. The North was a horrible place to live, people were able to find joy in it somehow. But Y/n wasn't sure that she would have moved there if it wasn’t for her parents. The North was cold and the people weren’t as welcoming to newcomers. They wanted to keep their traditions and beliefs intact and they thought that people from other parts of Westeros were a threat to that. That those people didn’t understand the history behind what they did.

Whether Y/n enjoyed her time in Winterfell didn’t matter, she couldn’t go back home. Catelyn, Robb’s mother, had made it clear from day one that she was to stay at Winterfell and do her “duty”. Y/n hoped that she didn’t mean just bear children because she did not want that to be her only job in life.

“Y/n!” Sansa called from down the hall. Y/n turned to see the oldest Stark girl approach her, needlepoint in hand. Y/n was glad that she was able to get out of that boring task. Her sisters used to force her to do it with them, gossiping about other girls their age the whole time. “I finally finished the fox,” she told her sister-in-law when she was close enough.

Sansa handed the piece of cloth over, Y/n took it from the girl, running her fingers over the little orange and red fox. In the center of the fabric was an orange and red fox that was surrounded by purple and pink flowers and grass. “It’s beautiful,” she stated, handing it back.

“I thought you would like it,” she beamed. “I had trouble and messed up a couple of times on the stitching, but I finally got it.”

Y/n nodded as the two walked down the hall, side by side. Sansa was one of the only members of the Stark family who treated her with more than respect. She treated her like a friend. Like a sister. Robb’s parents acknowledged that Y/n deserved to be treated well, but they never went out of their way to be friendly and welcoming to her. She would have thought that Catelyn would have since she was married off to Lord Stark years before. She was the only one who would know how Y/n felt. The youngest Stark boys didn’t really pay her much mind as they were busy with their studies or playing around when they were away from their mother. Arya... she was indifferent. She spent much of her time with Y/n, but only because she wanted to escape her mother’s grasp and Catelyn thought that Y/n would try and make Arya act like the lady she was supposed to be. Y/n never cared what Arya didn’t in her presence as long as it made the girl happy. And for Jon Snow, Robb’s bastard brother, the two never spent much time together. He was always keeping himself busy with whatever there was to do.

“What gave you the idea for the fox,” Y/n asked Sansa as they turned a corner, passing a couple of servants.

“Well,” she started, fiddling with the cloth. “Arya doesn’t care much for needlework, but you do. And... well, I thought that you would appreciate having a reminder of your home, your family. They are more important than anything else in life.”

Y/n nodded. Her family had been her life for so long, the day she left them was the worst day of her life. She had to say goodbye to her older brothers and noisy sisters. She missed sitting around the table at their estate, arguing over whatever her brothers brought up. She missed how friendly they were. They were warm and welcoming and everything that Winterfell was not. She missed their laughter and the competitive sword fights that her brothers would get in. She missed being around them. Turning a corner and seeing them there.

Sansa was right, Y/n did appreciate the little fox. It was the symbol of her house. It was the symbol of what her family stood for and no marriage, no union, would change the fact that Y/n was a Y/l/n. No distance, no weather, no man, no king, no nothing could change the fact that she was born a Y/l/n and she would die one as well.

At that moment, she understood why people of the North were wary of those from the rest of Westeros. Everyone held different customs and traditions. In Winterfell, the men of the Stark family executed those that deserved to lose their heads. That was one of there traditions. In Y/n’s family, women were trained alongside the men to maim and kill. They were taught to be more than just pretty objects that men used whenever they pleased. And that was their tradition. Because of that, because of her upbringing, her family’s tradition, people weren’t too fond of house Y/l/n. Many agreed that women should be treated with respect, but few agreed that they should be treated with the same respect as men. So, when Y/n first arrived at Winterfell, she always told people that what they believed of her upbringing was a myth. A lie made up to ruin her family’s reputation. It made it a little easier to adjust. Only a little.

“That’s very thoughtful of you, Sansa. And that little fox-” Y/n pointed to the cloth. “- shows just how talented you are.”

Later that night, everyone was gathered in the dining hall for dinner. Y/n was seated next to Robb, who was talking to Bran about he needed to work on his archery. The poor boy hadn’t been able to catch a break as Arya would always come in a shoot his target before he could. Y/n believed that he was simply nervous. Eyes were always on him, watching his every move. The poor boy only wanted to impress his family, yet there stares prevented him from it.

Robb turned to his wife, tired of fighting with Bran about his stance. “How was your day, darling?”

Y/n took a sip of wine before answering. She wished that he would learn to ask other questions as that was the only one he ever seemed to ask her for the three months they’d known each other. “My day was well. Sansa made it better by showing me the needlepoint that she completed. She’s a very talented girl.”

Sansa blushed, trying not to look up from her food.

“Yes, my sister is very talented with a needle,” he noted, getting a glare from Arya who was not talented or interested in needlepoint. Something that members of her family liked to point out.

Y/n returned to her food when a servant appeared at her side, handing her a folded piece of paper. She took the paper, thanking them before they ran off to fill empty wine glasses. No one seemed to care too much about the paper that was in her hands as everyone seemed to have turned the attention to some lord who was going to be visiting in a few weeks time. Y/n unfolded the note, reading what a was written in a foreign tongue. It was her mother’s first language as her family moved to Westeros when she was only a child. She grew up speaking it and that was often the language that her family used to communicate with as few knew it.

“That son of a bitch,” Y/n muttered under her breath as she stood from the table. The Stark family could only watch as she stormed out of the dining hall, unaware of what she had finished reading.

Walking out into the courtyard, Y/n saw a man leaned up against one of the wooden beams. The sun had set a few hours before, the only light being that of the torches that lined the courtyard. Y/n stood in the archway that lead out to the courtyard, observing the man. He looked nothing like any man in Winterfell with his tan skin and light hair, both weathered from the sun.

“And there is my lovely sister,” the man said, turning from the beam. In two steps her was by her side, trying to wrap her in a hug.

Y/n fought him off, to pissed off with him to want any affection. “What the hell is this?” she asked, waving the note in his face. “You can’t be fucking decent and talk to me in front of them!”

Her brother only laughed, his y/e/c shining under the torch lights. “Is that all you care about?” He walked around her, circling her like prey. “What they think of you? Are you ashamed of where you come from, Y/n? Who your family is?”

Y/n shook her head. Y/b/n was doing what he always did. He found delight in ruffling people’s feathers. In pissing them off, hoping that they would swing at him. He had a way of getting into fights and justifying that it wasn’t his fault. And Y/n hated him for it as she was often his target. “Why are you here?”

He clicked his tongue, stopping in front of her. “You didn’t answer my questions.”

Y/n rolled her eyes. She loved her brothers, all of them, but sometimes they had a way of making her hate them. “You want to know how I feel?” Her brother nodded. “Okay, well these people,” she pointed to the doors, “are who I am forced to live with, dine with, and be around until I die! The rest of my life will be lived here! I care what they think because it affects how I am treated, how I am respected!” As her voice grew louder and she grew angrier, her husband and his father and brother peeked their heads out of one of the doors leading to the courtyard, concerned since she hadn’t returned to her food. “I am not ashamed of my family, Y/b/n! I am not ashamed of where I come from or how I was raised, how we were raised! I am only ashamed of how others look at us, thinking that we are the enemy! How they treat us, thinking they know everything about us when they never care to even share a word with us!”

Her brother sighed, growing impatient with her. “Are you done?”

Y/n wrapped herself in her arms, cursing herself for not bring some layers with her. The wind from earlier had stopped but that hadn’t kept it from being cold out. Y/n had a feeling that the ground would be frozen, covered in a thin layer of frost, in the morning. “Only,” she paused, poking her brother in the shoulder, “if you tell me what the hell this is about.”

Y/b/n shoved his hands in his pockets and muttered to himself about how cold Winterfell was. Neither of them were used to the weather, but at least he didn’t have to live with it for the rest of his life. “The note explains it all,” was all he said.

Setting her jaw, Y/n glared up at him. How her brothers could be so difficult! It wasn’t just one, it was all of them. Y/b/n simply learned it from the others. “No. It. Doesn’t.”

Robb moved where he stood, walking over to be by his wife’s side. He was bundled up in furs, smart enough to grab them before he came out. “What’s going on here?”

Y/n glanced at him, not in the mood to answer his question. Behind him she could see his father and Jon standing outside the door, ready to jump into to the mess if necessary. They wouldn’t have to, Y/n didn’t intend to hurt her brother. Not yet, anyway. When her brother didn’t answer, Y/n did for him. “Fine. Maybe it does. I just don’t know what you bastards think you're going to accomplish with this,” she gestured to the note. “This isn’t going to go over well for anyone and I hope to the fucking gods that you did not come here to ask me to be a part of this.”

“And what if I did?”

Robb looked between the two siblings, confusion written on his face. He wasn’t sure if stepping in would solve the problem as Y/n looked like she was about to murder someone. She was showing him a side of her that he had never witnessed before and he was entirely sure how to handle that.

“You stupid bastards!,” Y/n yelled turning away from her brother. She couldn’t stand one more minute of the cold northern air or the stupid southern man. “This- whatever the fuck you want to call it- this isn’t going to be a war. It’s going to be a massacre. And I don’t want to be involved! I don’t want to watch thousands of people die for no fucking reason!”

Y/b/n rubbed the back of his neck as Robb and he watched her walk across the courtyard towards Eddard and Jon.

In their mother tongue, her brother yelled at her as she grew closer to the men. “It’s always you that has to go and be a fucking bitch! You know that! You seem to forget that we have no choice in this ‘massacre’ as our allies across the damn waters are waging this war!”

Y/n stopped dead in her tracks. Her family always found a way to force her into situations that she didn’t want to be in. Her father made arrangements with Lord Stark to have her marry there oldest child. That left her stuck in a land where she could easily freeze to death. And now this! Yes, it was customary to help one's allies in times of war, but at what cost. This fell onto Y/n’s mother’s family. If they had kept to themselves and learned that greed never got men far, then they would think twice about joining some war. They would think twice before dragging their whole family in it.

“I love it when someone insults me,” she muttered to herself. “That means that I don’t have to be nice anymore. Even if it is family”

Turning on her heel, she looked her brother dead in the eyes. I’m well aware that you have no choice,” she seethed in a language that the men around her could understand. “I’m also well aware that you have the choice to take a different stance on this. Because if you are doing this because that tyrant of a man thinks it’s right than you are not my brother! None of you are!”

Her brother was taken back, opening his mouth to say something but he didn’t know what could match her words. She was right. There were other options that still pleased their allies. But those options often went overlooked. And he had expected her to help, that’s what she always did. Her father raised her to be his right hand. To be able to take care of herself and lead armies.

“And, yes, I am a bitch, but not yours. So, don’t you ever come here and expect anything of me. Don’t expect my help, my respect, or my loyalty. I may have been born a Y/l/n name but I am no longer one. Not here, anyway. Not in the North. Not in Winterfell.” With that she swiftly left the courtyard, moving passed Eddard and Jon.

With the door shut behind her, Robb looked towards his brother-in-law who could do nothing but shake his head. Robb wasn’t sure what was going on, but he knew that he had just seen part of his wife that she never intended him to see.

For Y/n’s brother, he knew that she would change her mind. She always did. When their grandfather came calling for help, the family was forced to do whatever the man pleased as he always told them that they owed him everything. Y/n would remember that and she would come to the family’s aid. She was right in the fact that there was more than one option on the table and that all should be considered. Y/b/n turned from the Stark men and walked out of the courtyard.

#robb stark #robb stark imagine #robb stark imagines #robb stark x reader #jon snow #jon snow imagine #jon snow imagines #jon snow x reader #sansa stark #sansa stark imagine #sansa stark imagines #sansa stark x reader #game of thrones #game of thrones imagines #game of thrones imagine #game of thrones x reader #GoT imagine #GoT imagines #GoT

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lovedeluxe92 · 5 years

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okay so i started working at jimmy johns in early febuary of this year. i needed a job rlly bad and money desperately, just something to keep me afloat and to afford food. what i experienced...i was not at all prepared for lmao. i was sexually harassed, verbally harassed, had my hours fucked with, had management and even the owners of the company who could give a fuck less about their employees, had to deal with my fellow coworkers AND managers being on k2 and other drugs, and the final fucking straw which was getting my tip money stolen from me OUT OF THE SAFE BY A MANAGER. i started working as a delivery driver. which was INCREDIBLY stress inducing at first bc i worked at the one right downtown. i had to deal with

i started working as a delivery driver. which was INCREDIBLY stress inducing at first bc i worked at the one right downtown. i had to deal with

traffic, pedestrians NOT LOOKING WHERE THE FUCK THEY WERE GOING DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY PPL I ALMOST KILLED CAUSE /THEY/ DID NOT LOOK, we have ‘parking police’ and i legit got about 15-20 tickets during my time there bc that asshole was out for blood and anytime he saw my car, even if i wasnt parked illegally (oh did i mention we had like 3 parking spots all on the street and all with a 2 hour limit (: ) or hadnt been parked in a spot for the full 2 hours. so there was that.

see when i first started everything was fine. we had good employees who worked hard and did what they had to do. they were all stoners, but whatever i could care less about that. SO. our assistant manager, he was a mess. racist, homophobic, rude, loud. the worst. we would do dabs out in his car (yeah i know but i worked at a fucking jimmy johns) and he would just say the most questionable shit. i remember this one time he saw my phone background was a pic of me and my bf and was like ‘oh you like black guys? what’s your sex like? i bet it’s really good’ and im not gonna go into too much detail here, bc it upset me and its racist, but he kept going and said some REALLY creepy shit i was like wtf and told him to never speak to me like that again or i would report him for sexual harassment (side note: one time he thought i did report him for sexual harassment and was like “who are you gonna buy weed from now?” LITERALLY ANYONE YOU PIECE OF SHIT.) he would always be like “DAMN THICK’ whenever i would bend over and do everything. I TOLD MY MANAGER AT THE TIME. she didn’t do anything. AND the owners of the franchise definitely knew bc like...there’s cameras and they can hear everything we say? but no one did fucking anything. and i needed the money bad so i had to stay. of course i told him off constantly. he was white and always saying the n word. just a piece of fucking shit.

i think the happiest day of my life was when he FINALLY got fired. my manager had to go to another city for a week and help out that jimmy johns bc i guess ALL the employees and managers did a walk out (yeah this happens at all the jimmy johns owned locally in my area i wish i was kidding) and left his inept ass in charge. it took him 5 mins to make sandwiches (FREAKY FAST hello????) he was just a poor manager. but THEN he started using k2 again. and he was a zombie. there was no point of him even being there bc like he would just go to the back of the store and just stand in front of the freezer door staring for like 10-15 mins at a time.i was a driver and didnt know how to make sandwiches yet and this bitch seriously was just standing there cracked out of his mind on k2 in FRONT of customers (and i will say our customers were SO nice at least) takking phone calls slurring his words. it was embarrassing. i rememeber i had 2 customers who had waited almost a HALF HOUR for ONE sandwich bc i was having a panic attack and losing my fucking mind trying to make their sandwiches while he was in his truck getting high and refusing to come in. one of the customers actually gave me a tip and told me i was doing great and the other one was like ‘im so sorry this is happening to you, that guy is fucked up’. anyway, he passed out on k2 in his truck one night and got the cops called on him and got banned from the property :) i still saw him from time to time and he looked disgusting & miserable and it made me so happy.

mostly we just had grown ass employees, fucking 30 year olds, just acting like children. always on drugs. i had one coworker pretend to slap my ass and i called him out and he was like ‘it’s a joke im not apologizing’. people would try to take deliveries from me. AND LET ME JUST SAY, not even to fucking brag even slighly but i was the best worker there my entire time there bc regardless of where im working i am giving my 100% every day and no one else there would. but ppl always tried to step over me and did not respect me. we had one coworker who had 3 felonies and one day like 4-5 cops came to our store to tell us to call the cops the next time he showed up for work (surprise surprise he fled bc they took an hour to get to the store despite the fact we were literally like not even 4 blocks from the police station) and he was always high on k2. forever late. day after day no call no show. he had his friend get hired on who would go down to subway and talk shit about subway in his uniform??? lmao and subway called us one day and was like ‘can yall not?’ he also threatened to burn down the store and then my manager (who was always on a power trip if we’re being honest) purposefully withheld his paycheck to fuck with him, because he was fucking with her, so we dealt with him WAY longer than we should have?

then this one bitch that became manager, SOMEHOW, we were seriously always that desperate for staff and we hire anyone bc the managers are overworked af and just want to take the load off. anyway, SHE was always high on k2 as well. and she would always overshare rlly traumatic personal things from her life to me and all the customers and its like....girl we dont wanna hear that pls try and get some help. she was not currently being abused, i wanna specify. she was talking about things from her past. i sympathized with her but like im a victim of dv too lmao i dont wanna see your bruises without being asked first. and then i remember one day i left my money bag there (i kept my tips in it and had like $37 in there or something) and this bitch who was making MORE MONEY THAN ME seriously fucking went into the safe (we caught her on camera lmao) and stole that money out of my bag and left a few bills to make it seem less suspicious i guess??? lied about it to my face? then quit bc she ‘wasnt gonna sit there and be accused of something i didnt do’ like ok lmao

then to top it all off at one point my old manager just stopped giving a fuck and the store went to shit and we got complaint after complaint and she started being so rude to all of her staff, including myself (and we were like besties so i was devastated) and she cut my hours when she was submitting our work times for the checks because i would clock in early to help out....LIKE SHE ASKED? and it was just everything i said to her...her response was just the most rude and hateful voice and just....it was so rude. i cried every single day after work. she eventually got replaced and then quit

but then this new manager, whom i loved, was very depressed and just had a lot wrong with him mentally but he was still very....drama starting and attention seeking. he would talk about suicide nonstop 24/7 and not to be callous but it just made me so uncomfortable and triggered me so much? they did overwork him and i will attest and agree to that and he had a lot on his shoulders but he couldve gone to mcdonalds literally any day and gotten a job with better hours, better pay, and better benefits. i kept telling him over and over to leave bc he had so much managerial experience he couldve been hired anywhere! all resteraunts down here are perpetually hiring, especially for managers! i would know bc i was looking for another job lmao. but he’d text me every night saying things like ‘well lets hope i drink myself to death’ ‘suicide is painless’ etc. and it was just......VERY uncomfortable for me, as someone who has attempted suicide and still struggles with ideation from time to time lmao it was just the most triggering environment ever

like idk how i lasted that long but i worked my ass off, saved up my money, have a good paying job and im trying my best to forget this entire experience (honestly i did have some good times) but i really dont....think i can lmao

ON A POSTIVE NOTE: we had some of the kindest and most caring customers ive ever had in my life. i was shocked. but the amount of times i had a shitty customer in my entire time there i can count on one hand lmao like....even when they were shitty they were like ‘im sorry i know yall work hard and everything’ like i miss my customers SO MUCH because we actually had relationships with them and shit and ugh god. if the customers were shitty tho i would never have kept this job lmfao

i stayed at this job simply bc i made enough money for rent and my bills perfectly and it was one of the few jobs where i was paid an hourly wage + tips. and i wanted my next job to be a job in my field. that’s why i stuck around so long, it took some time to do that.

so yeah theres my mess i love anyone who read this and you can have my first born and be the beneficiary to my life insurance when i die

#tw: racism #tw: sexism #tw: suicide #tw: drugs #idk...what else to warn y'all about. just know this is a fucking #mess #i mean these arent horrific mentions of any of these things but i dont wanna trigger anyone unintentionally #better safe than sorry with tws

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mindlesspanda · 3 years

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Wish i have someone that stayed by my side

Wish the world acknowledge my existence my struggle my pain

Wish the world wouldnt be so mean and hateful to me

Wish i have a normal life

Wish im smarter so i can get into the uni i chose

Wish i have those privilege to live and study aboard

Wish i have someone who loves me

Wish i didnt have to go through what ive been going through

Wish i didnt have to pity myself just to acknowledge my own pain , just because im alone

Wish i hadnt been born at all

Wish i stop being in pain

Wish im comfortable in my own skin

Wish people would be kinder to me

Wish i can just work hard and had my effort paid off

I wish i wouldnt hate my life so much

I wish i could enjoy my life

I wish i wouldnt feel like i wanna die every god damn day.

Wish i would stop feeling so broken and hopeless

Wish no one stole my happiness

Wish i wouldnt be so anxious abt people leaving and to have things that makes me happy stolen

Wish i wouldnt feel so alone in this world

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caddy-crystal-queen · 7 years

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Introducing my new star wars original species (os): the Draconians

I’ve been wanting to post about these guys for a while, particularly their history through their rulers. I really wish to do an rp with these guys on here if anyones interested. So…here are some top ten basic facts about them. I do plan to get specific later, as i am currently writing a little book of sorts about their rulers. Now this is DEFINITELY NOT CANON. This is a species i purely made up and thought itd be awesome to share. So with that being said…

#10: the species name and home planet

The name draconian actually comes from the now destroyed homeworld of the draconis species, referred to as Old Draconia. The planet was “doomed” by a pair of powerful sith lords who used ancient sith sorcery to create a disease that ultimately killed the planet and everyone on it. Old Draconia is now pretty much just a land of ashes, ruins, and mist. Think of it almost as the silent hill of the star wars universe.

#9. Their Beliefs

Most of the Draconian religious and historical texts were lost to the doom, but its highly believed that the Draconians worshipped seven goddesses who resided in the constellation Draco. One of their myths stated that the dragons are actually children of the stars and its from the stars its where they got their fire. Each goddess was once a queen or other important political or social figure, each one representing a different element in nature.

#8. Their powers and Force Sensitivity

There was technically eight types of dragons. Six “common” dragons and two “rare” types. The six were able to control the elements (water, fire, earth, wind, light, and darkness), while the two rare dragons were called Celestials and Aethers. It was said the source of this “magic” was actually stemmed from Force sensitivity. Some draconians, mostly the Aether dragons, were able to “hide” themselves within the Force itself becoming invisible to almost all except for Force sensitives. Celestials could control all elements in nature except for Dark Matter, which was controlled by Aether dragons. But Dark Matter control was seen as dangerous and blasphemous to the seven goddesses so Aether dragons (then called Nether Dragons) were hunted to near extinction. They didnt see the Force as a weapon, like most did. But rather as a living protective deity which called the All Mother or The One Beyond the Seven Stars.

#7. Their government and society

The Draconians had a matriarchal society and were usually ruled by a queen. They did have a few kings here and there but two of them were the first dragon rulers, two others were absolutely cruel, and another was only given the title on the insistence of a queen. The queen was a descendant of the Conqueror, a young fire dragon who united the draconian species from their primitive tribal ways into a single kingdom. Women and girls were seen as more valuable after one queen, named Rhea, challenged her Nest Brother for the draconian throne and won by actually killing him. She declared a weak male would never again rule draconia, but they still had two very oppressive kings. The queen was entirely expected to have mostly daughters to succeed her. The title didnt however always go to the oldest. Sometimes it was determined by a fight between the Nest Sisters from the queens first clutch. If a queen dies without any daughters then one of her sisters would be next in line, followed by nieces, cousins, etc. As for the queens sons, well, they became mostly scholars, healers, soldiers and the like. The queens oldest son would become the captain of his sisters Queen’s Guard until she started to choose guards for herself. After that, he may become her advisor or take up any place in society he may want.

#6. The Queen’s Guard

The name is pretty self explanatory, the queens guard protected the queen. But in early days of the guard, it was also the queens harem in a sense. When she came of age, the queen was technically allowed to take whoever she wanted to her bed as long as it was consensual on both ends (rape was seen as a taboo). Most queens didnt actually get married after queen Rhea, but they did play Favorites. These Favorites were usually the Captains after her brother stepped down, and was often granted certain priviledges and favors/positions for his family. With that said, many families with strong sons or attractive sons pushed them to try to win the queens favor, as he is also more likely to conceive with the queen and therefore be the father of the next queen. However it wasnt just men on the guard, there were a few queens that actually favored women, as all draconians were actually taught to fight. But a queen always needs an heir so there always had to at least be one man on the Queens Guard.

#5. Rashkas and Dovas (Draycon)

“Rashka” and “Draycon” mean Rider and Dragon respectively. They were titles given to individuals who were bound together for life by a mental link. The Rashkas protected the common folk of Draconia, and mostly consisted of humans riding dragons. These humans were given powers and magic from their mounts who shared their lifeforce (called Dova in Old Draconia) with them. As long as the Draycon lived, so did the Rashka, and vise versa. That being said, early Rashka were nearly immortal as draconians usually lived for a very long time. A Rashka can usually have only one Draycon throughout their life time and again it works the other way around. However this mental link can be severed under extreme stress or just before death so the other can keep living. However their life after that was said to be terribly unhappy. Any dragon can be Draycon, and any person can be a Rashka. No one truly knows who or what determines how or why theyre chosen for each other. Queens however arent typically Draycon, with the exception of one who was the very first. Up until closer to modern day, it was believed only humans could be Rashka, but the first alien Rashka was a Duros who found and later hatched a Dark dragon egg…

#4. Tosca, the Mad Queen

The worst female ruler in draconian history was none other than Tosca the Mad. Born from the greatest ruler in draconian history, her reign was a complete contrast to her legendary mother’s, but it didnt start out that way. Tosca the First was obsessed with keeping her power and prestige, and would go to any lengths to keep it. It’s believed that her uncle, Malakai, cursed one of his sisters eggs before she killed him, making it so Tosca was influenced by him her whole life. She had her sisters husband locked away and later executed on false charges of treason and banished her sister, Nythia, to a distant world where she was to live in isolation for the rest of her days. Despite her paranoia, Tosca the Mad did manage to have one child survive to adulthood, though this child, a daughter named Harmonia, barely escaped with the help of smugglers. Tosca the Mad ruled for fifty years before her madness completely took over and therefore had to be killed. Harmonia succeeded her. She was the only mad queen in draconias history.

#3. Creed, the Draycon Queen

Ask any modern draconian who the greatest ruler in draconian history was and theyll tell you it was none other than Creed. She was the first Draycon ever, and the only to ever be queen. She ruled during the time of the old republic. Born to queen Sarella, creed and her nestmates (still in eggs at the time) were sent off of draconia to other worlds under a powerful enchantment, only draconian fire could hatch them, with the exception of her and her twin brother, named Malakai, who also had a rashka. Creed however lost her rashka when he was captured by the jedi, but not killed, thus keeping her alive but the jedi severed the link between the two. It left the princess absolutely miserable and she escaped coruscant to a distant deserted world, laying low a few years to learn to control all the elements in nature. Creed was the first queen since Queen Nymeria to learn such a thing. With her new found powers, Creed took back Draconias throne from her brother, who she later imprisoned and later executed. Her reign was draconias golden age.

#2. The Nether Purge

Of all the dragon types there are, nether dragons are the most misunderstood. With the power to control dark matter, the very fabric of the universe, these rarest of dragons were the most powerful in existence. So how did they die out? Well the answer isnt really known but its speculated that there werent all that many to begin with and the few that were killed or captured hadnt realized their full potential yet. But it wasnt just their power people feared, it was also the manner in which their mates were picked. As hatchlings, the Aether dragons removed a fragment of their own hearts and crystallized it. When in the presence of their soulmate the crystal glows. The thing that scared most other dragons was that this tended to happen around mostly hatchlings or very young dragons. Fearing for the future, and believing only celestials should come close to the seven goddesses, the Nether dragons were hunted, killed, or taken to a distant world where they couldnt do harm.

#1. The doom of old Draconia

The Doom of old Draconia was a catastrophic event for the dragons. Two sith lords came to queen Serren, the last queen, demanding to know the secret to draconian long life. The queen of course refused to tell them, claiming she didnt know. But this was only a partial truth. Ancient draconians once used a powerful dark magic to transfer their souls to new bodies but Creed banned the practice and had all knowledge of it erased. As for their naturally long lives (they can live up to about two and a half centuries supposedly) serren honestly didnt know. It was the secret of the Soul Release spell that the sith were after and serren, as the queen, was supposed to guard the secret with her life. The draconians’ magic was cut off leaving them defenseless from the onslaught of drought, famine, and disease that eventually overrode the planet. The queen was however able to escape with a single egg. But no one knows where she is…

And i hope you guys enjoyed reading that! I plan to write more about the rulers of draconia. If you got questions please feel free to ask, anonymous or not. I look forward to sharing more if you guys are interested ^^

#star wars #oc #original species #top ten list #dragons #draconians #species facts

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taejimin · 7 years

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92 statements tag

Rules: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

tagged by: @gay-jk cuz shes gay

The Last:

1. Drink - water

2. Phone call - i dont have a phone rip i facetimed my sister the other day tho that went greaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat :))) /sarcasm

3. Text message - my friend kirbey

4. Song you listened to - back to you by louis tomlinson

5. Time you cried - mmm my last mental breakdown whenever that was. maybe like two weeks ago.

Have You Ever:

6. Dated someone twice - nope

7. Kissed someone and regretted it - mmm not really no

8. Been cheated on - nope

9. Lost someone special - nope

10. Been depressed - 24/7 ladiessss eyyyy

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up - nope!!!! tho maybe i just havent reached that level of drunk yet in my life

List 3 Favorite Colors:

12-14. purple, pink, blue

In The Last Year Have You:

15. Made new friends - mhm!

16. Fallen out of love - yikes yep

17. Laughed until you cried - mhm

18. Found out someone was talking about you - lmao if randoms vagueing me on tumblr counts

19. Met someone who changed you - yea

20. Found out who your friends are - i found out who my friend arent lmao

21. Kissed someone on your facebook list - yep

General:

22. How many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: all of em but maybe three or four?

23. Do you have any pets: my lil girl bukie

24. Do you want to change your name: my last name yes always

25. What did you do for your last birthday: nothing lmao i got takeout and sat in my room

26. What time did you wake up: about 7 or 8?

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: trying to fall asleep

28. Name something you can’t wait for: bts’ next album?

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: like three seconds ago

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: to be happy? lmao

31. What are you listening to right now: the fan going whrrrrrr next to me

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: i cant say that i have

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: how motherfcking hot it is

34. Most visited website: tumblr or youtube

38. Hair color: dark dark brown

39. Long or short hair: short-ish? like barely shoulder length

40. Do you have a crush on someone: sighhhhhh

41. What do you like about yourself: i like that i’m gay (this was claire’s answer but im keeping it bc mood)

42. Piercings: just the normal ear piercing set everyone gets when theyre 11

43. Blood type: ???

44. Nickname: jess technically. jessy via my family. jennifer and jenniglet via @knjz and @gaytae. @jiminn-thighs calls me rae of sunshine lmao. (rae is my middle name. pun.)

45. Relationship status: eye emoji, shrug girl emoji

46. Zodiac: virgo. idk what my moon is bc my mom wont tell me what time i was born bc she doesnt love me

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favorite tv show: it’s always sunny in philadelphia

49. Tattoos: none but i want some :/

50. Right or left handed: left

51. Surgery: none

52. Piercings: already answered this lmao

53. Sport: the only good sports are volleyball and tennis bc i cant watch girls be talented bc im gay

55. Vacation: bitch i wish

56. Pairs on trainers: of? trainers? thats shoes right. like one. lmao.

More General:

57. Eating - these arent questions how do i interpret these statements. i had a peanut butter sandwich and pretzels this morning?

58. Drinking - water

59. I’m about to - fucking die from this fucking god damn heat

61. Waiting for - bts’ next album

62. Want - bts’ next album

63. Get married - id like to bitch tf

64. Career - gay housewife

65. Hugs or kisses - both :/

66. Lips or eyes - depends?

67. Shorter or taller - TALLER

68. Older or younger - older

70. Nice arms or nice stomach - i love tummies :/

71. Sensitive or loud - is this describing me? bc yes

72. Troublemaker or hesitant - troublemaker on the internet hesitant in the...real life?

Have you ever:

74. Kissed a stranger: technically?

75. Drank hard liquor: yep

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: nope!

77. Turned someone down: uhhh i told this fuck boi i wasnt gonna give him head bc he disgusted me does that count? (i wouldnt have done that even if i hadnt been disgusted tho i just wanna make that clear)

78. Sex on the first date: i have to fall in love w/someone first what kinda lesbian do i look like

79. Broken someone’s heart: i hope not

80. Had your heart broken: yikes

81. Been arrested: nope

82. Cried when someone died: yep

83. Fallen for a friend: drag me why dont u

Do You Believe In:

84. Yourself: i believe that im gay

85. Miracles: maybe?

86. Love at first sight: also maybe?

87. Santa claus: santa claus is a gay icon

88. Kiss on the first date: mhm

89. Angels: park jimin exists so yea

Other:

90. Current best friend’s name: i have more than one irl its my kirbey on the internets its @gaytae and @gay-jk and @knjz

91. Eye color: brown

92. Favorite movie: captain america the winter soldier, all three star trek reboot movies, the original winnie the pooh movie, lilo and stitch

im supposed to tag some people i suppose but i dont even think i know 20 people here sooooooo @knjz @jiminn-thighs @gaytae @lesbianblossomjimin

#mine: text #clarence said im her best friend here aw :')#time for me and candy to fight to death for the number one spot #also that was cute #about me #pri ive almost typed ur url @gaypri like six times #tho...tru

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neuropathicgypsy · 7 years

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Dejoria: no, I felt it turning and I turned left. it was ME, I broke it.

Me: thank you Dejoria

Dejoria: and I want you to write it

I am. But not because Dejoria could be the greatest racer ever if she was given half a chance but because Jesse pisses me off.

He keeps claiming that he broke her hip because I got pissed off I acknowledge that I knew he said he was going to tamper with her car when I was pissed but I didn’t believe anything that would actually make a difference, an impact with knowledge would occur So I was like sigh try it see if I care.

So as usual he Tampered with her car. He been doing it for a long time. I would mess with Dejoria and be all “greminlin in your car destroying it!!” Show her pics of pieces of car that she needed Then I would be all “I’m fucking with you. I didn’t do anything to your stupid car” She deserved it. It’s between me and her. It’s personal. It’s not about gains or selfish. It’s me against her. So in a way I did tell on Jesse alot but she didn’t care. And she was still raping and wouldn’t stop.

It’s different when she’s hurting people on purpose. It’s an eye for an eye.

Jesse didn’t really care that dejoria rapes. He doesn’t like that I don’t like it so he goes with the flow to please me. But it’s more lies than much else. There is better ways he can handle things.

But whatever. It’s an isolated thing. What is between Dejoria and I is untouchable by anyone else. No one can understand. Some people do. But very very few. I’m not going to explain it because you won’t understand because it’s not within you and your soul to. Maybe later you’ll figure it out if you cant now. But I’m not going to try.

Jesse wants to take credit but no way possible could he has exactly caused her hip to break in the pelvic region.

Dejoria broke it. One by raping Two by saying only God could prove to her it was wrong Three by trying to save herself.

Her god instilled instincts and paying attention to her car caused her to correct the steering causing the intense impact of corner hit vs a broadside one which would only slammed her. Had she allowed it to veer and slowed down she would suffered bruising. Depending on her speed it could been mild.

Instead she listened to her car and turned causing an intense impact.

Broadside is bad. Any impact is bad.

But corners are worse because of the point of impact is smaller causing greater damage

A full broad side takes the entire impact damaging less intensely but in more coverage

It’s physics. Science.

Dejoria word for word: I made a deal with God, only he can stop me.

Had she not made that deal, she may not been hurt at all.

Jesse had very very little to do with it. He just wanted to fuck with her and I told him I didn’t want him to do that but I knew I can’t stop him so whatever. I told him (she was listening) I was tired of her being fucked with and her not understanding why.

It was her and God that proved to her that raping was bad As much as it hurts her, she can begin to heal from her scars left by father’s hands.

Sadly, I know, and you probably can guess, her father hurt her much more than a simple pelvis fracture and missing races.

Then she needed a little more push cause her pride and her understanding of sweeping things under the rug

So to my satisfaction she then got a concussion.

Probably again a tamper with the car. No one discussed it with me and I was just fucking happy and didn’t want to know or care.

This is alot of why I was against JR Todd staying with Connie Kalitta. I know he knew and I know he was also tampering with JR Todd’s car.

With relief am glad that JR skid out from underneath Connie’s direct hand. I still worry a bit but I know he’s much safer now. I know how easy it is to fuck with a car. So I know one day he may need to move on again. But for now, we can relax.

Last year I wrote that Tober was fucking with Ron Capps car purposely. Pissed me off because I care about Ron. I knew it was fucking him up and scaring him.

Connie did it to JR Todd because people are better than Connie ever was. And he does not want a little nigger beating him. He won’t let that happen.

Tober doesn’t want anyone to beat him. And Matt is the only one good enough to beat everyone.

Neither is a good person. But they’re very different.

That’s all I really want to say

Dejoria knew that she had been intercepted by FBI and was raping them. But like me she wanted them to tell her to stop. They would not. She begged a couple times just to arrest her. She’s completely tormented by her past. Hates her father. If only she was arrested she could heal. No one would help her.

God showed her he loves her and cares and wants her suffering to stop. So she can stop hurting others.

Other days, most of them… Dejoria’s all fuck people. I hate them all. They’re all like daddy. Every one and everything is.

But sometimes I see her and she tells me she’s hurting and wants it to stop.

I smoke. I drink soda. I know the shit is bad but I like it. Dejoria loves raping.

But Matt insists he’s gonna carry me around so I’m all maybe I should quit drinking so much sugar cause it will help you not to have to carry so much. Cause I don’t digest sugar well and I drink the past the daily recommended amount. Quite often.

So sometimes something or someone can make you stop doing something you love.

We always thought I would smoke pot, forever. But death. I quit. I quit because too many people got hurt when I smoked it. I wasn’t a bad person. But it put me with a crowd that’s less good for me.

Like the NHRA.

I need to be around good people and love. So I can be the person I am meant to be.

Matt just said “yeah bossy”

Deep breath because I am not supposed to be violent!!!

“But you’re good when you’re bossy”

That’s rightmost. That’s my beau.

Now he’s blushing.

So that’s all. That’s all today that I really want to say.

As far as Jesse… You know… He used to beg me to get him fired so that he could spend less time with Dejoria. Sometimes god doesn’t answer prayers and sometimes he just does it in his own time. Jesse just sold a bunch of shit supposedly on eBay so he can afford whatever fees and fine and loss of employment.

Sure maybe it will cause him to have more time to think of ways to destroy me Or maybe he will sink into God’s hands and find out what God really wants him to do with his life.

Knowing Jesse, it’s most likely both.

I think that it’s better that Jesse stay home. Connie always said that he would never fire Jesse. But I talked to Scott last night. He said he still wishes his father would see reality. So if the NHRA did fire Jesse, as Scotty has said, he would be pleased Jesse killed Scott. He told Connie how to tune the car. Connie did. Scott died.

Connie killed Scott. That’s the truth. It’s what I’ve always said.

But he wouldn’t have had if he hadnt listened to Jesse

Jesse is so so so furious at me right now and he would probably choke me to death if he could touch me.

But the other day (this past Thursday) he was taunting Arrianna. There was nothing I could do. I told him to stop. Everyone did He made her cry. He raped and murdered her. In the most horrific ways in the world. Sliced her up like she was roast beef. But her. Hit her. She still wore new born size clothes.

So he can be pissed and rage as much as he wants.

I’ve asked him to leave my daughter alone. He refused and made her so extremely sad. It was like murdering her all over again.

I can murder him and not feel bad. I can do it any way possible. And I will.

So he can fight with me or he can lay down and die. I don’t care. I love it when he struggles. I will win. I will.

So will my daughter and my sons which were murdered.

There’s nothing in the world I can do for them as a mom, in a daily life. There no prom, shoe shopping, first dates or last. There’s no way I could ever make up for my years of amnesia.

But I’m sure as hell not going to allow them to suffer by Jesse G James’ hands or mouth again.

So I must surrender the truth.

PS Jesse shouldn’t had hit Dejoria. So she has every right to do what she wishes. Had he not hit her. I would be hesitant to say as much as I have.

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isaacathom · 4 years

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time to think about various story ideas ive had, yeehaw

ACitDS - Thomas trying to find their parents amidst the angel/demon war. pretty neat. I wanted to make a game out of it so the player could decide which way Thomas swung in terms of angel/demon, giving leeway for players who made mechanical choices against the ‘moral’ choice (cause like, split progression, man. it was gonna be pretty flexible and based mostly on choices within the world, though one route was locked behind a specific skill progression).

ACB - ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. war story about a commander trying to protect their homeland, except they arent even a commander in that homeland, and also its just really complicated. I like the individual characters i guess, even if im pretty sure Black themself was... not... my best character. I’ve made more ableist ones (hhhhhh) but that wasn’t my finest, so acb would need a total rehaul to fix that sorta thing. characters neat though.

SFY/414 - the whole gang of criminals help a guard catch other criminals story. or gay suicide squad, as you wish. i like my characters, and i like a whole lot of it, and i like the world. the core premise is a lil shaky but if you get past it, fun times, i think. i love tamjol especially.

SFY/425 - i dont know shit about the civil war plot except that tamjol is there and gets accused of being a traitor after his group finds out he’s a Shonyul, thats a fun one. thats basically the only thing i know for certain about it, that those scenes happen, and maybe one where he confronts his “father” directly, idk, weird stuff all around.

SFY/BTH/386 - sailing time. theres a storm, a mutiny, a second bloodier mutiny, and then a whole ass dragon eats like 2 whole boats without warning, god damn.

CCC - we have established i think that idea slapped i just never wrote shit. i dont remember any of their names. i just know some fuckers got lazered in the chest. tight.

Codename Seren - oh no

Codename Sworl - uhhh bunch of aliens get sent to earth disguised as teen girls to track down a different group of aliens. i remember nothing except that the sworl Charlotte ended up falling in love with a girl called Aaliyah (??????) who was actually one of the enemy aliens, and also that the sworl overlords were trash. everything else, big ol’ no clue.

EC - former MC fanfic, crystal’s sister and BIL get kidnapped by the goddess of fire in order to get the city (of which the BIL is like, the prince?) to do a bunch of specific things so that the fire goddess can release the imprisoned goddess of darkness. also one of the members of the motley gang crystal acquires is actually the fire goddesses missing daughter, and another is the descendant of some of the dark gods closest attendants who bailed and were hunted down. and the other dude is like. the son of a ghost? like? a ghost? like his human ass father found a portal to an afterlife realm and fucked one of the librarians and now their kid is half fucking ghost, I dont get it, also the man had a wife so uh W. Skye’s dad was messed.

GGS - hell yea. gods forming pacts with a bunch of youngsters who die in tragic circumstances (one was a car accident, another got crushed by a tree, and a pair got caught in a burning house). fun times. the car one had the war goddess as her partner and was able to summon a magic gun, the tree one had the god of time and fought with a magic sword while his COMPLETELY HUMAN sister kept tagging along on his missions and using a dustbin lid as a shield to help him out. nice. i love them all.

KoA - i dont remember whats happening there except that one of the kids was like, iron resistant? so she could use magic even when in iron? and fter they got captured by the govt or whatever they found out about her power and things escalated and im like 90% sure they fucking. hit her on the head with a shovel and killed her? i. i dont know why that was what i decided should happen in my novel but there you go, huh. her sister was very upset and i think ended up finding out she was iron resistant too? i dont remember the plot of this.

Kingdom Keys - crocodile minigame and a littol skeleton man. basically if you found three keys you could access this area and get a wish granted by the goddess, and the skeleton dude had tried this previously and sort of failed? its kind of unclear but i think it was that he’d adventured with the main girls mother for the keys and i think she died? so then he used his wish to save her life? or the other way around? i think he died trying to get either the 1st or 2nd key and at the end the mother made it to the goddess and used her wish to bring him back, except he was a skeleton for Uh Reasons (how fucking long did it take???) and then i think the mother died after, i DONT know. i just remember littol skeleton boy man dude. he was like, 16 but also like 40, i think, i AM Unclear

Mermaid Cafe - there is no plot to mermaid cafe except that a mermaid like, comes on land and hides her identity, goes to a cafe by the sea one day to be a little closer to home, and then gets trapped along with a bunch of other people when the sea goes Very Bad. it was a very weird dream.

Minds Eye - ? gods claim your kids when theyre born and raise them? there was no further plot. i dont remember shit.

Mistakenbound - the last gasp of my hs phase, may it rest in peace. some heart player got murdered for revolution b4 the game starts but persisted as a ghost and pretended to be a blue blood, which while it was based more off the story of Rhia from COdename Seren, is a fuck of an aradia ripoff, whoopsie fucking Daisies

LOTMV - light demigod gets “kidnapped” by a dark demigod, sparks a war, very complicated, i mostly like it. one draft had the light demigod killing her shitty soldier ex-boyfriend at the end of the story after he almost murders the dark demigod, who has all but become her gf in the time since she left home. fun stuff.

Puppeteers Rebellion - buncha voodoo shit, smth about voodoo being outlawed and a countess using her powers in it to try and overthrow the kingdom, being foiled by the princess who she had (inadvertently?) been training at a sewing circle thing. i think?

Re:Memory - rebirth where your actions in your previous two lives determine your class, protag is class 1 (worst) because her last lives where a fucking infant and a murderer. befriends the princess (class 7) and idk what the hell were they planning to do but it was gonna be smth.

RiH - story about a thief with a metal arm trying to save the metal forest from an unnatural rust, aided by a knight who is one of the few people who actually notices their presence. was actually an MSPFA, ripperino, i still have like, 4 panels total and nothing else.

Royalty Story - uhhh country being run by Queen Adelaide acting as regent for her like, 21 year old son, but then she gets taken captive by this woman named Hazel who starts running the kingdom, forcing Adelaides three kids to flee the castle and try and find a solution. idk what was going on. the kids were Jackson, Morgan, Lillian, in order, iirc? cause the naming scheme was -an (sound). i thought it was neat. Lillian was the only one who shortened her name, to i like just Lilli, but Jackson was never Jack. they were neat.

SoaCS - pirate sets off a curse that means they are followed by a terrible icy storm, ends up being cast overboard by their (new) crew and saved by a woman on an island, who then also helps them escape when the storm ravages her home. then they go on a whole thing try to fix the mistake that HE made, resulting in them going back to where he had abandoned his crew in search of treasure. lotta fun. he even directly saves her life at a point where he had failed/refused to save one of his old partners last time, which was neat, but overall she was saving his ass. fun times. never wrote much for that.

Shadow Huntress- idk theres a girl called Blake and shes aways running because she thinks if she stops people will notice the scars of battle with like, The Darkness. physical battle, but also the emotional toll. ends up mentoring a few of her classmates who became hunters sort of incidentally. idk.

TDoC - so theres a demon king in the center of the lake, and around this lake are a bunch of cities with demon lords. and you have to kill the demon lords in order in order to be able to access the demon king and kill him. and there was a mechanic in place where you could only kill one demon lord/king. so the new party who is trying to free themselves from demon rule is accompanied by a group who tried many years prior, and in the first battle one of them fucking dies while trying to kill the lord because it turns out! that in the last attempt! he had succeeded in laying the final blow, and his soul was forever weakened and could not withstand the demonic energy this time, so from the outside he basically stabbed down at this demon lords week spot and then the second his blade made contact there was a burst of energy and he collapses like a sag of bricks who barely lives to the end of the battle to explain what happened. that was neat. i like the idea of the party by the time they get to the demon king being people who had all killed a demon lord, meaning they shouldnt be able to kill the king, but then they all manage to deal the final blow together, with their combined souls withstanding the initial burst of energy and killing him. whether they all die afterwards or just kinda pass the fuck out to be found by their allies outside who react to the demonic death wail, idk. i think its neat. that end sounds kinda cliche but presumably they had their best soldiers (demon killers) and then a handful of people with them who HADNT killed a demon who should have been able to, except the king could fucking smell em and wiped the floor with them early, knocking them out or killing them to focus on toying with the ones he wanted revenge on. I’m down for that. cause then its slightly less of a like, “twist”, since in the planning to kill the king SOMEONE would have noticed that they had to send some non-heroes :P So make sure you do, I guess.

TFOS - princess vs dragon, she has a gun and she wants revenge for her older sister and aso to save her kingdom. aided by a mage a knight and a rogue, bunch of lesbian mfers fighting dragons, Nice.

TFT - proto GGS, main difference was that becoming a demigod was essentially randomised and that there was like. a god of computers. who i think i reworked as a god of technology? or something? tech generally, not computer tech. idk. cherry was cute.

WTDD - the worlds surface is a series of spinning gears with cities and towns on them, and the gears all powered a music box below the earth which kept this colossal dragon asleep. and then one day the gears stop and the dragon wakes up. something like that. the initial thing was world is gears, but id probably shift it to a city or an area? cause the idea of a city constantly rotating sucks ass. admittedly that was straight up the reason the gears stopped in the initial writing, because the villain (??) was sick of the rotation ad fucking. blew a gear up. nice.

YD3N - uhh bunch of robots? one for eac letter of the alphabet (so there was Aden, Byden, Cyden, Dyden, Eden, etc) and Yd3n was the source of all of them. and then a robot called syd3n manages to escape and finds the aid of a local engineer called Ignis Lex, and they try to free their siblings and especially Yd3n, and find out the purpose for the alphabet crew. fun fact, this entire story came about because on the way home from uni I saw a dude in front of me with a jumper that said ‘Sydney’, except the last y was covered and my brain misread what was left as Syden, which is why theyre the protag. Neat.

thats the only ones listed. its missing a few, but i dont remember them much or have names for them :P

#this was neat #story blogging

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camilacantthink · 5 years

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havnt had thoughts like this in a long time. it would be really easy to kill myself. no one would know for weeks. i could do it quietly in my room. i could fill my cats food and water to the extreme, plus she’d have my body to eat. Pets do that. No one comes into my room. My friends would probably not think too much about it. they might get annoyed im not responding to them, or maybe they would think im mad at them or ignoring them. id feel bad about that part. but it would be so easy. the only person i really have constant contact with is across the glob. my mom would assume im with someone else. at a friends house or just not even pass her thoughts. not untill the third or fourth day of not talking to me. even then it would just be a txt saying ‘where are you’ or maybe ‘dinners ready if you want some’ but if i ignored it she wouldnt worry. im good at making people not worry. at least in my family at the moment. all i have to do is socialize and wear a little make up, maybe dress a little fun. then they think everything is fine. my friends think everything is fine. i just have humor that insults me, i play things off a lot. seems to work just fine. im tired of asking for help. im tired of saying im fine. i hate being the negative and bitchy one in a group. or the dumb one. or the one no one takes seriously.

i dont know why this is bothering me so much right now. i had come to terms with it. i dont need people to take me seriously. i played up my stupidity and inexperiance and general pathetic uslessness. its easy. but i dont know. im tired. and sad. and empty. everything is so empty you know. nothing matters, im not going anywhere, im not going to be anything. i dont need to be anything but... i want to matter to someone. i want to be someone’s person. the one they go to bc they like me. the one that they can bitch with or laugh with or just... i dont know.... im no one’s favorite person i guess. i should be fine with that. its a selfish thing to want. im just... so tired of being second or third or last.... the one no one wants to invite, the one someone invites when their prefered person cancels. the one who no one remembers or talks to enough to notice im falling apart.

im falling apart. i cant keep anything together. its all just broken and im broken and nothing special. I know people care about me. why cant that be enough. why cant i just accept that im annoying and difficult but ppl like me even if no one loves me. why cant i just be content with being there. why do i feel the need to be someone’s favorite person. why do i have to crave being close to humans. i really cant stand humans. im so broken. why did i have to exist. i want someone to just.... i dont know. be close with. care about me. tell me im not broken. but i dont want to have to ask for it. how fucking hypocritical right. to just want someone to just know what the fuck is wrong with me and lie to me and tell me im not broken. No one can know i need help unless i ask for it. and even then I have to help myself out of this. i know that. i was doing so well.

i need to be on meds. i dont want to be on meds. i hate being alive right now. i hate being bipolar and i hate having depression and having anxiety and i hate that im just a financial burden on my family and that no one in my family seems to actually like me. they love me. i know they do. but they dont like me. i want to be liked. i want to find that someone out there. but i hate everyone. how can i want someone to like me when i dont like anyone. I just hate being alive. i wish i hadnt ever existed. i wish i had the courage to just fucking kill myself. I wish i didnt care about all my friends and family i would hurt if i did kill myself.

i wish i had never been born. i wish i was dead. i never wear seatbelts or pay attention to cars on the road yet im so fucking scared of everything hurting me. this is all fucking stupid nonsense. i cant do anything i cant get a job i have no talents or skills i cant even talk well.. i just hurt and annoy and bother everyone.

but people hurt me too. they hurt me a lot. i never get apologies. i always have to apologize. and i hate it. i hate it so much bc when i do get the rare apology i just feel so sick. like i feel guilty for hearing it and i always feel like im doing wrong. i just want this to stop. i can distract myself from some pain but something always hurts. im hungry, im stupid, im annoying someone, i am being a bitch, im angry at something stupid. i hate existing. its so tiring. i hate being me right now. i want to be someone else. i want to disapear. disolve. not exist. i wish i wasnt who i am. i want to be no one and i want to be someone. i wish i hadnt learned how painful oding was. i wish i could just go and take a handful of pills with a shit ton of booze and just drift away. but i know thats going to hurt. and that terrifies me enough to never try it.

nothing works. i go to therapy. i went to group helps. i went to the hospital. i cant do the medication that i need to do because im self sabatoging myself and not taking them. i keep waiting for the better to happen. i know it’s gotten better with time. but its so long. i have never not felt like this. why did i not get help sooner. my mom told me when i was 7 years old i would come to her after school and ask her in tears if i could die. if it was possible to kill myself. why did she not get me help sooner. why was i 15 by the time i started therapy. why did it take untill i was 20 for her to leave my dad. why did i not get any more help. why did she just let me suffer on my own.

#personal #angsty shit dont read lmao #just casually use tumblr as a diary #its fine im sure no one will see this

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sweetbabymexican101-blog · 6 years

Text

As I look down upon all the dilapidated buildings below me, all I can think of are the lives that could of been spared if not for all the hate in the world. If only my father had saw the world as I did, He would not of died. We could of been still with me helping me fix what the people destroyed. We could of stopped it while we still could. cutting off the deseased part so new life could grow. Yet, if there was one thing harder than changing the world, I knew it was changing his mind.

A cold breeze hit my face. I can still hear their screemes and crys of the people who lived here.I knew one thing they didnt at the time. the people who died in the fire had a more merciful death than the rest who were taken for slaves. I walked along the slightly damp roof to look into a dark broken window. I wish I could of done something though I knew I was too young then. If only I could of been there as I am now. No. I can not think of what I could of done. I need to think of the task at hand. I ish my father hadnt exposed me to such torture but because of that I became who I am now.

My father was like any other Father in most ways. Taught me how to survive on my own, how to hunt, make my own clothes, fix things that were broken and how to construct weapons using very little resorses. you know, the ussual. He raised me most of my life. He was not very good at talking but very good at teaching. I guess in a way he showed me love. Maybe not by telling me but by passing on the things that he has learned throughout his life. My mother died when I was eight. I dont have many memories of her but the ones I do have are wonderful. I remember looking at the pair of them and thinking “how could my mom love someone so stern looking” My mother looked like such a small thing next to him. She was only 6 feet tall yet still thin and elegant. Her eyes were like safires that sparkled whenever she looked at him. She had long silver hair always pulled back in a braied down her back exposing her pointed ears. My father was two feet taller than her looming over her like a shadow. His black hair and eyes made his stern looking face even harsher. He also had metal arms and legs that he often replaced. I rarely ever saw my father smile but when he did it was always looking at her. I never understood it.

I was raised on what was known to be an abandoned ship. My mother would always tell me the stories of how they left their planets when they found out they were going to have me and found the ship we now call our home. Before I was born my parents brought many plants from my mothers planet to make her feel more at home. My mother thought it was so cold- not where a child should be raised. My father made most of the ship open to me but he had his own part I wasnt allowed into. When I asked about why my mother left her planet if it was even more wonderful than our ship, she would just get very sad. My father always told me to not talk of such things because it hurts her. I always thought I could ask him what happened when I was all grown up but I guess I waited to long. He died when I was just 15. A part of me still wishes I would of found out before it was too late even if It hurt then to talk about it.

Another chill hits my face. I see ice is starting to form on the roof tops an I take that as my cue to head back to my ship. I climb down the old building wall and making my way to the over grown forest nearby. I brush my finger tips against the broken fence leading into the forest. Noting the sign of new life growing around them. I guess things have to die for new life to grow. As I walk deeper and deeper into the forest I hear a whistle in front of me; snapping me back into reality. I see my loyal friend Leo leaning over a freash pot of stew hanging over a fire. I smile. My one and only friend. I met him soon after my father died wondering in the dessert. He was a little younger than I. He was left for dead by his master who grew tired of him. He was taken as payment for his parents debts at the age of two. His master thought he could raise him to take over his buisness when he was gone but he just had too soft of a heart. No amount of beating would change that so he cut off his arm and left him to bleed out in the dessert. Thats whereI found him, fixed him up with a robotic arm and he has just been sticking around since. He looked so harmless and destitute then. Now standing 10 ft tall with greish blue scaled skin, bright green eyes and scares all over his body- He could look pretty intimidating.

“Out wondering I see. Shouldn’t you be sleeping?” Leo stated while smirking “ I never sleep remember?” I said While removing my long cape and draping it over a nearby log. “ I was looking for some supplies and scrap metal.” I tucked some of my loose dark blue strand behind my pointed ear. Leo stared at her and said, “Andra, You alter your materialization consistantly but you never rid your ears. Why is that so?” I smile. “They are the last connection I share with my mother that hasn’t died with her...”

to be continued...

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