#i’ll show you guys a lil pic when i get home from work!! its SO PRETTY!! & ITS 2/5 !!!! LIKE ONLY 5 WERE MADE!!! & NOW I OWN THE 2ND!!!

[yuukimiyas]

( ˶ˆ꒳ˆ˵ ) good mornin!! its finally the wknd!! yay!! :3 its 12/30 over here in the states but im wishing a HUGE happy nye/new yr to all of my sweets in dif timezones!! ໒꒰ྀི∩˃ ᵕ ˂∩꒱ྀི১ you’ve done an amazing job in 2023 & im so excited to see what 2024 brings you all!! <33 lets finish out this yr strong w spreading sm love & light to others!! (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و squeezin you in a HUGE hug!!!

[buckys-little-belle]

How do you think Steve or Bucky would’ve reacted or at least found out to reader being a little? 💕💕💕

jus feelin small

Steve / bucky x little!reader (they/them pronouns/kinda no pronouns used)

(These pics give off mafia!daddy vibes and im not mad, though it wasnt my intention. Low key should i start writting for mafia!daddy steve/bucky? Yes? No? Maybe? Idk, moving on … but like should i? … let me know your thoughts in my inbox! They would be so protective omg, the “i hate everyone but my lil baby at home” vibes are so strong with these two. I need to stop I’m sorry!)

Warnings : i think some tears from the reader, lots of fluff, kinda long i wont lie, just sweet!steve who’s clueless at the beginning and loving!bucky who just wants his baby to allow him to accept them.

Authors note : i dont love how this came out, i had so many ideas it was hard to pin just a few down! I might write full fics in the future with the same ideas at play.

SFW - please keep all interactions with this fic and blog SFW.

- - - - - -

Steve

Steve is definitely a busy guy, he’s heavily involved in training new and current avengers, he’s also a mission leader, so he just always has something on his mind.

You got into the relationship knowing he would be busy, kind of knowing you could use that to your advantage. When he wasn’t around, off on missions or working on a project, you could regress at your apartment. Knowing its just you and that he won’t be able to catch on.

It wasn’t that you didn’t want him to know, of course you did, he’s your boyfriend and he’s trust worthy, but still your scared, not everyone is so open and accepting so showing someone your little side is scary.

Because he’s so busy and you genuinely hide this side of you he definitely doesn’t notice until its quite literally impossible to miss.

He has a key to your apartment for emergency’s of course, so one night when he’s finished work early he decides to stop by your place and check on you.

When he knocks and you don’t come to the door he just uses his key, thinking you’re most likely running an errand.

But you’re not, you’re actually in your spare bedroom completely regressed, totally unaware that someone even knocked on your door, happily playing with some toys that you have laid out in front of you.

Steve doesn’t even have time to take his coat off before he hears your voice in another room. Picking up short whispers and mumbles, as if you’re talking to someone but he can’t quite make out who you’re talking to.

He walks over to the spare bedroom door, his super soldier hearing desperately searching for a second persons response or even their breathing pattern, but he finds nothing to indicate another person in the room. When he finally accepts there is no one else in the room he hears your quite voice.

“Mr bear i need a snack. You?”

Steve chuckles, knowing you love having a waffle in the afternoon, it’s your “perfect snack” that you mention at least once a day to him.

When the door opens he’s met with an unexpected sight, you with a teddy bear held close to your body, a large t-shirt on and your hair messy. He slowly puts two and two together, the innocent look on your face, the teddy bear, the lack of pants and the toys scattered around the spare room floor. You’re an age regressor. He’s not surprised, he knew you were hiding something but he wasn’t sure what it was, he’s glad its this and not a second boyfriend.

“Hi my little love” he cooes, tears welling up in your eyes instantly, panic taking over your body.

“Hi” you whisper, scared of his next reaction and words.

“You going to get a waffle?” He asks, crouching down and holding your waist reassuringly, rubbing soothing circles onto your skin. You nod, too scared to try to speak, thinking of a rational excuse for the toys in your room and the bear in your arms. “Okay baby, I’ll help you. Don’t want you getting hurt huh?” He says as he picks you up, he feels your body stiffen, clearly scared and in distress about the situation.

“Its okay if you’re feeling little my love” Steve reassures you, a smile on his face and his hands rubbing up and down your back. “I’ll take care of you baby” he says, pressing a kiss to your cheek, you finally give in and rest your head on his shoulder. You feel a sense of relief, he welcomed you with open arms and isn’t weirded out, making you feel right at home and safe in his arms.

Bucky

Bucky is definitely more aware, he’s not as busy as Steve and likes to spend almost all of his free time at your home.

He definitely has his suspicions when it comes to you being a little, the way you seem to slur your words when you get stressed and act more vulnerable.

When he confronts you about it you definitely just say its nothing, “i just get nervous when I’m stressed buck, thats all.”

He knows you’re lying, your heartbeat racing and your breathing uneven as you speak, but he lets you live out the lie. He doesn’t want to push you and he knows when you’re ready you’ll open up to him.

One day you come home from work, the day not going as planned and your stress and anxiety levels are through the roof. You’re big when you get home, embracing Bucky and agreeing to watch a movie.

Bucky makes you both a coffee and sits down next to you, at this point you’ve regressed, finally feeling free of your stress. You go to take a sip of the coffee in front of you, though when the taste resonates in your mouth a look of disgust covers your features. You wished it was juice, or even water, the taste completely unappealing to your little self.

Bucky chuckles, he knows your regressed but you’re still fighting the idea of telling him, trying to keep yourself and your little actions contained.

“Want some juice bubba?” Bucky asks, you smile but slowly begin to frown, you’re big you’re big you’re big!, you remind yourself, repeating the words in your head over and over again.

“No tanks” you mumble, completely unaware that your words are showing your regression and aren’t as accurate as they usually are,

You turn your attention back to the movie, beginning to feel uncomfortable in your clothing, the jeans bothering your skin and causing you to feel off. You really just want a big t-shirt your bear and some cartoons on.

You dont even realise you’ve begun to cry until Bucky’s hands grasp your face gently turning it to face him, his thumbs wiping away your tears. “What’s wrong my love” he cooes, his voice quiet and calm.

“Jus feelin small” you mumble, your too tired and uncomfortable to care about how vulnerable you’re being. Deep down you know Bucky is accepting and wants to help you so you give in, needing some help to feel better at the moment.

“I know bub” he stands up and scoops you up, brining you to your room and setting you on your bed. “Why don’t we get you changed, get a snack, and then watch a movie?” He suggests, you nod, how did he know exactly what i need?, you ask yourself, though you don’t search out an answer, just lifting your arms so Bucky can help you change your clothes.

You and Bucky sit on the couch for the rest of the day, your bear in one arm and Bucky’s metal arm in the other, he’s wrapped around you as you two sit on the couch, his embracing soothing you. “I lob you” you whisper, not sure if he can hear you.

“I love you too bub” he responds, placing a kiss on the top of your head and squeezing you a little tighter. Just Bucky and his baby against the world from now on.

[babiekeiji]

How would Akaashi, Kenma, +any other boy you want react with their s/o being in their first lead role in a musical/play? Their reactions, if it’s a loud boy do they follow theater etiquette? Anything else you could think of would be amazing!! i’m in love with all of your writing!!

LETS GO AKAASHI NATION ;; also im so sorry this might not be so accurate i was only a theatre kid around 4th to 6th grade owiwkkcdknc

— ♥️ —

Akaashi Keiji

You’ve been telling Keiji about wanting to audition for one of the lead roles in this year’s play

Akaashi’s definitely just. Go for it, but make sure you work hard so you earn it

AND YOU DO

royalty shit yk

But flashback first : come the day of the audition you’re a lil neRvoUss yk because though there aren’t a lot of people auditioning, the people you’re up against are pretty darn talented ykyk

“You’ll do fine,” he reassures, “You’ve worked hard enough. Even if you don’t land the role you want, I’ll be supportive of you regardless”

Nd you just 🥺🥺🥺🥺

So you do whatever’s asked of you for auditioning right

Judges seem pretty bored but were amused at the end of your audition

So you leave with a smile on your face yk bcs wow ... u did that 😎

COME RESULT DAY and guess what bitch

U GOT IT

Nd ur just crying nd a mess on the floor bcs man practicing for that role was Not Easy

Akaashi’s rlly happy, even if he doesn’t show it

Comes off as a lil nonchalant at first

So you’re just ?? u know akaashi isnt exactly outward w his emotions though so you don’t think much of him not reacting so much w this big news

Akaashi’s more of an actions guy ykyk

The next day you come into school and see a lil box on your table with a note attached

I’m so proud of you.

YOU ALREADY KNOW 😭😭😭😭🤚

You open the box excitedly and see another note

You deserve these for working so hard. I can’t wait to see what else the future has in store for you.

😭😭😭😭 AKAASHI BEST BOY

Inside the small box are fun sized sweets you held off from eating just to prepare for the audition

M&Ms, snickers, twix, you name it he has that in there

You give akaashi a reeeally big hug the next time you see him

SO LOWKEY SUPPORTIVE OF YOU WHENEVER U PRACTICE

Always sneaking a bottle of water into your bag before you leave

Waits for you to finish practicing sometimes after training, so you two can walk home tgt

Helps you with your lines nd all that

Come the day of the play

You’re backstage, getting ready, doing last minute run throughs of ur script

Keiji can’t be backstage, but you alr know he’s probably somewhere in the front row

Follows theatre etiquette yk, but everyone around him can just tell he’s your boyfriend since everytime you come on stage he’s just a lot more attentive nd a lot more dreamy eyed w u

IS THE FIRST TO CLAP LOL MFMFMFMFMF

Big grins when your eyes meet before you bow

Offers you the prettiest flowers after

TAKES YOUR PICS W EVERYONE LOLDBMDMMDA

but he doesnt mind because you look so happy to be having fun

Drives you home too, talking about how good the play was and how well you performed, how different u were during practices and during he actual thing

“You were so captivating, really,” he says once he pulls into your driveway, “You did really well.”

Kisses you a few times before you leave

“I really am proud of you, you know. I love you. Get some sleep, you deserve it.”

Kozume Kenma

like akaashi, kenma isnt so outward w his emotions 😌 but he does compensate for it w his actions

When you first tell him abt how u wanted to audition, he was Concerned

“Is that really what you want?”

“Why? Don’t you believe in me?”

“I do,” he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, “I just want to make sure you know what you’re getting yourself into. So you won’t regret it later.”

thats lowkey touching bro... bro stop im gonna fall in love with u aha ha

When you say with all conviction that yes, you want to do it, he supports u all the way

Helps u pick out your audition piece

Listens to you sing over and over and over

Watches you try to dance

Reminds you in simple ways that he does support you

“Have you practiced today?” / “Believe in yourself.”

“I believe in you.”

The day of the audition, kenma tells you that he’ll wait for u outside the auditorium

And 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

“Don’t you have training?”

“I told them I couldn’t come,” he says, “It’s not like I always skip training. Go on now; I’ll be right here when you come out.”

You kiss him on the cheek one last time before you head in

“I love you,” you say lovingly, “Thank you.”

“Break a leg.”

You come out ecstatic; “I did really well!!! They loved me!!!”

“That’s great. Do you want to eat some ramen on the way home?”

“Of course”

He pays this one (1) time because he wanted to treat you after all your hard work

When you find out you got the part

You cried

“What’s wrong? Are you not happy?”

“I AM ITS JUSTFJDEKEJ”

“?????? Okay”

“I GOT IT”

“I know”

“KENMA ......... KENMA ........ I GOT IT”

“I know. I’m so happy for you.”

Although he doesn’t wait up for you after every practice, he does send you encouraging texts

I hope you never doubt your talent.

You did great today, rest well.

I’ll bring you milk bread tomorrow morning.

Makes an effort to call you before you sleep,

I love you, he’ll say, Go to bed. I’ll see you in the morning.

No cap this boy is the sweetest closet romantic ever

Is somehow miraculously allowed backstage

“Hey,” he calls. “You look beautiful.”

You turn around and it’s HIM bro its him, and he’s actually smiling with stars in his eyes and looking at you like youre the only person in the room.

“You’ll do so well,” he says as he takes you in for a hug, “I can’t wait to see you.”

Looks around for a while, and when he sees that no one is rlly looking, cups your face with both of his hands and brings you in for a kiss.

“I love you,” he whispers. “Break a leg.”

“KENMA!!!!!!! THE MAKEUP!!!!!!! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT”

he just leaves

You get flowers from him after the show

You grab a few snacks w him right after

He needs to go to the bathroom nd leaves his phone with you

A notification pops up on his screen while you wait

It’s a text from kuroo; hidden, as expected fr kenma

But what’s more striking is his lockscreen

You, in all your thespian glory

On stage, the spotlight only on you

Might be your best picture

Nd he took it in the middle of the play?????

Even if that wasnt allowed, you don’t tell him off this one time

Maybe just this once

[kunderdogs]

Monsta X / Curvy S/O Wearing A Body-Con Dress

So, I’m still big mad that I lost 800+ words of this reaction the first time around and I forgot wtf I put for them so let’s try this again ;-;  S/O to the anon who requested this. Idk what kind of revealing dress you were thinking of so I went with this and other similar dresses. 

I kinda snapped on Kihyun’s lmao got a lil carried away so it’s lengthy - sorry!

Remember this is just my opinion about how the boys would react and all in good fun.

Shownu: Heart eyes af. Proud boyfriend right here!! He’s quiet but that smile that lights up his face will not leave any time soon. Nunu’s got BDE (I can’t believe I typed this) so he’s going to show you off to the world. The type to take your IG pics for you and hit all the right angles. Gonna have you walk in front of him all night just so he can watch your hips swing from walking in heels. He’s comfortable in your relationship so he’s indifferent to the stares you get since you’re on his arm. Also, he’s not one to feel like he owns you in anyway so he’s not going to tell you to change. Definitely an ass/hips man so expect his big hands gripping you or pulling you into him. He’s going to want to dance the entire time you’re out, mainly so he can have your body grind against his. Totally fine with people looking, but talking to you is a different story and will 100% stand behind you, glaring at whoever had the balls to try to speak to you. Other than that, he’s extremely touchy when you dress up like this so expect a lot of affection, even if you’re in public because “Who told you to be so damn sexy?”

Wonho: Immediately groaning and complaining about how hot you look. “Whyyyyyy are you so hot? Let’s stay home baby~ Please?” 11/10 going to try and convince you to stay in tonight. Will whine and follow you around as you finish getting ready. Clingy AF!! Like more so than usual too (which is hard to do but this is Hoseok we’re talking about here). Big baby boy mood comes out and he’s whining about how he can’t possibly focus on the dinner reservations with you looking like that. Once you manage to drag him out, he’s going to keep touching you - hips, waist, arms wrapped around your shoulders, holding your hands. When you’re sitting, you can bet your left foot that his hands are gripping your thighs, unintentionally teasing you but when you touch him back - ohhhh boy. He’s giving you puppy eyes now and whispering in your ear, “Can we leave now? I’ve done what you ask, I think I deserve a reward.”

Minhyuk: Sunshine has left the building. Wide eyes, jaw dropped when he got to your place and you walked down the stairs like it was your own personal runway. Pride is filling up his chest as well as admiration. He loves you for you but your body was definitely a plus and he worshiped the ground you walked on but he wasn’t sure if he could handle you looking that sexy all night. In about two seconds, he comes to the conclusion that no, his heart cannot handle that stress and tells you to take your fine ass back upstairs and put on something with more cloth. “I can’t- Nope, I’m not gonna be hurting like this and not be able to touch you. You’ve got to change, for my mental sanity.” Compliments you and the dress but lets you know he won’t be able to focus on anything if your dress is that tight/short on you. Grips his heart dramatically as you walk back up the stairs “Gah damn, why must you hurt me like this baby?” Realizes you’re going to change and then runs up after you cause as much as he likes the dress on you, he will not miss the opportunity to see it come off ;) As much as you try to keep his hands off you while undressing, it doesn’t work and now you’re the last ones to the venue, cheeks flushed and lips swollen with the maknaes giggling as you fix your hair.

(oof this gif is powerful)

Kihyun: Yeah hell no. He’s buttoning up the cuffs of his suit as he walks in the bathroom and sees you all dressed up, putting on your jewelry. The way the diamonds he bought you on your third anniversary sat delicately on your chest made his mouth dry. Totally forgets what he had to ask you so he takes in the view as you lean over the counter top to put in your earrings. His eyes are dark and narrowed, head tilting to the side while his face is unreadable. When you’re done, you twirl around to ask his opinion but he’ll step towards you just like a predator would its prey. “Change.” and that’s all he’ll say, unblinking, looking you up and down. “Ki, I bought this dress for this award show. Do you not like it?” Honestly, he liked it way too much and that mean other people would like it too and nope he was having none of that shit on his watch. If you really refused to change, he’ll say some hurtful things, he’s got a sharp tongue and doesn’t realize the shit he says sounds bad until later on. “Who are you dressing up for cause it sure as hell doesn’t look like it’s for me.” You’ll have to ignore him because he’s just being petty but if you give in and say “I dress up for my damn self!” or anything sassy, his dom side will not allow it. He’ll probably try to start a fight just to stay home but it’s because he’s a bit insecure since you look so good, someone better looking or more talented was bound to catch your attention. In his mind, there was no way you could be this perfect and be with him. Will be fuming the entire award show, tense hand holding, jaw tight and lot of eyebrow raises instead of answering your comments or questions (angry KiKi sounds so hot) Later in the night he’ll realize he’s being a dick and apologize but he’ll sulk until you give him kisses and forgive him.

Hyungwon: At first, he’s just smirking like a cocky little shit. Rubbing his chin and biting his lip. He’ll make you walk back and forth just to stare at your ass. “Oh, you’re fine fine. Okay.” He’s going to vocally compliment you up and down. Licking his lips, rubbing his hands together (very fuckboy-esque) but my boy is seeing only hearts okay, he’s smitten! In my personal experience, skinny/lanky guys are the ones who looove thick/curvy girls the most and he’s no different. Doesn’t know what to do with himself except make comments while he’s following you around the house. “Baby, if you keep looking like a damn snack, I’ll have no choice but you eat like one.” And you’re like, “Damn it, stop being so horny, we’re going to your CEO’s birthday dinner.” Once he remembers that you’re indeed going out dressed like that, he switches very quickly. Silently, he’ll grab one of his big jackets and toss it at you, telling you to put it on otherwise he’ll go crazy all night if he has to see other guys staring at your ass. You do so, hiding your smirk when you think back to that one time Minhyuk had openly stared at you when you wore really tight jeans because Hyungwon almost lost his shit and it was kind of funny to see him so riled up. Very, very possessive and if you don’t pay him much attention that night, his attitude will jump out and he’ll definitely be rough with you later on - hands gripping your waist to get your attention, face grabbing to make you look at him in the eye. we love a confident zaddy whoops Will not let you out of his sight. You won’t even get 5 feet away from him without him following closely behind you & his eyes would stay mostly on how your hips swing back and forth. He does not last long so he’ll drag you to an empty room or even restroom so you can help him out.

(we need to talk more about flully/curly haired Hyungwon ok we were so so blessed)

Jooheon: Once he sees what you’re wearing to the company New Years party, it’s a mOTHAFUCKIN WRAP. He’s going to appreciate your figure with narrowed eyes and a smirk. He knows you got a nice body but didn’t know you had a dress that tight in your closet and wonders why you haven’t whipped that out for him sooner. Thinks you’re dressing up for him so he sees it as his own little present. Definitely going to suggest staying home and nearly has you wrapped around his waist, back smashed against the door to your apartment when he hears his phone ringing in his pocket. You break the kiss but he’s unbothered and attacks your neck with biting kisses as you try to get in his pocket. “Ooh are we skipping the foreplay tonight?” and you roll your eyes like “Boy, do you not hear your phone? We have to go to the dinner, honey.” He groans into your neck, pressing your body into the wood again. “Ignore it. I’m tryna have my dessert right now.” Somehow, you managed to get him to the party but he’s going to give you bedroom eyes the entire time you’re out. Outwardly, he can compose himself to not act as horny as he was feeling so his touches will linger but they’ll be appropriate. If someone was flirting with you though, he will definitely put his hand on the small of your back, basically your ass. “Let’s go home, baby.” 

I.M: “Babe have you seen my -...Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” My fav switch will enter dom mode pretty quickly upon seeing his s/o in such a tight, figure hugging dress. He’s a fan (a very big fan) of curves and ass in general. You don’t normally wear things like this, choosing leggings or hoddies over anything else. Changkyun would be biting his lip, watching you finish putting stuff in your hand bag and checking your makeup in the mirror but as you tell him, it was your friends bday and she wanted to go club hopping, he’s gonna go in the closet and get ready himself. When you ask wtf he’s doing since it’s technically a girls night, he’ll dead ass just stare at you blankly and say, “If you think I’m gonna let you out of my sight, looking like the goddess you are,” he pulled his button up on, snapping the buttons in place, “You’re dead wrong, love.” Yeah he’s just a bit possessive. Will hang on you all night, most the time is spent in his lap though and his tongue just can’t seem to stay in his mouth. It’s licking your neck, biting his own lips, licking them too. By the middle of the night, he’s tired of not having you beneath him so when you grind on him a little too good, he’s standing up and telling your friends good night, dragging you behind him and out the door.

[praphit]

“Black Is King” - nuff said, but I’ll ramble anyway.

"Black is King" is of course Beyonce's new joint, based somewhat on "The Lion King", with an array of African cultures and symbolism at its core. 

Now, I am no different than the rest of you. I am obligated to love all things Beyonce. I have an extra obligation as a black man; not that I don't love everything that she does. I don't want "The Hive" or the Illuminati after me. I'm just saying that even if I didn't care for something that she did or had a slight bit of criticism, I'd be obligated to love it anyway. But, like I said... I love everything that she does anyway, so... we'll just go ahead and give this musical film a Grade: A+ Ok? cool.

Beyonce did everything in this film. Normally, when someone tells me that they wrote, starred in, directed, produced, idk filmed... catered, was the whole I.T. team, etc, I think to myself "This is either going to be awesome or a huge pile of apeshit." But, we all know that The Queen overflows with awesome sauce. I mean look at all of the adulation from the critics.

But, this is an artsy project, so some of you might not understand what's going on. You don't want to be disrespectful, and shine light on your ignorance, so allow me to help you understand some of it, by taking you through it, so you can pay your proper respects.

The film starts off with a baby in the river. I don't know if it's some type of Moses thing going on (who once was a baby floating down a river), but Beyonce ends up with the baby. I don't know if it's Beyonce's child or not. I suppose that Beyonce could have stolen this child. But, you know... it’s Bey. If Beyonce ever kidnaps your child, consider yourself blessed.

And so, The Queen starts singing to the kid as she walks around some gorgeous island.

I'm thinking that this is just a typical morning for Beyonce. While we're all at work on a Monday morning hoping that the next sip of coffee will get our minds ready for another week, Beyonce will be walking on some dream island, singing and dancing, as her servants prep her royal breakfast.

Oh, and there's some blue guy who keeps appearing as well. I'm still not really sure what's going on with him.

THEN, all of a sudden, we're in space. 

Beyonce is there too (kinda in spirit form and glowing), and some old black man talks to us about destiny.

THEN, we're back on earth with some sort of star (possibly) falling quickly from the sky. Superman maybe? Satan (you bible nerds will get that)? Beyonce? Some sort of “Beyonce is God's gift from Heaven” imagery there? Idk. All of a sudden, I didn't care, because... hips.

Lots of hips start shaking in front of us.

I’d show you a pic or gif, but I’m afraid that some of you don’t know not to stare into Beyonce and her dancers hips - it’s like the ark of the covenant, if you don’t take breaks.

But, let me tell you... MY GOD.

A true goddess! As I think more about it, her godly powers throughout this visual album/film were spot-on dance choreography and unlimited stimulating outfits.

And of course... eternal hips.

Like all stories, we at some point must get to the villain. I guess you could follow along and say that Beyonce's possibly stolen child grew up a bit, left home, and found his way to some dude who looked like young Bobby Brown. 

Imagine Bobby Brown wearing an awkward amount of gold chains and holding a yellow snake.

Some of you probably don't remember the "king of R&B". Well, it's debatable whether he was or not; he certainly believed that he was, but I wonder who would call themselves the king or queen of R&B today? 

There's this guy, who is self-proclaimed... 

I affectionately refer to him as “J-Squeezy”. 

I think that I was half asleep when I first tried to pronounce his name, and that's what came out. He'll always be "J-Squeezy" to me.

Maybe Jhene Aiko (one of my wives). 

Though some might say Justin Bieber. Can you imagine all of the R&B legends look up from bended knee, and are forced to give high praise to their “king” 

- The Biebs? 

That's just plain sad.

So, Bobby Brown, some sexy woman in a red dress, a yellow snake, and a monkey scratching its butt all tempted Beyonce's probably stolen child. Now, the kid... idk what happened to him... he's a drug dealer or something now. ... idk.

BOOM! And like that, Jessie Reyez (whom I love!) is on the scene.

Her and a dancing motorcycle gang are in the woods doing God knows what, until some dude, who thinks he's a lion ends the scene (Scar from "The Lion King"? Idk).

We are then transported to a funeral. Everything is white. Beyonce is there, and in all white. But, things take an artsy, dark turn, and now it looks like Beyonce is dead. BUT, Jay-Z finally shows up to the rescue. I don't know where he has been; probably hanging out with his new buddy.

All of a sudden, we're back to their house/mansion on the island and Jay-Z is picking Beyonce up to go to some club. Then, they enter the club in slow motion. Which again, I feel like they probably do that sort of thing all of the time. Jay and Bey just walking in slo-mo to make an entrance.

It's a wild party with synchronized swimmers (yep), human chess pieces (yep), and Jay and Bey eating soul food. 

Just another night.

Jay-Z must have went to bed early or something, because immediately Beyonce is transported to some other club in the inner city. There are a lot of sexy dudes around. Idk if maybe Jay and Bey have got some sort of Will and Jada sitch going on.

Oh, and these designs at this No-Jay-Z’s-Allowed-Club were dope... weird, but dope! Unfortunately, I couldn’t find pics of them online, but they kinda gave me a “Silent Hill” vibe - 

Pretty much the same :) (Illuminati)

But, the scenes of this "flick" never stay dark, they always go back to vibrant colors with the African cultures vibe. All of a sudden, the colors are back and the kids (lots of kids out of nowhere... possibly ALL stolen) are with Beyonce, and they're all playing patty cake.

Wait, was "patty cake" appropriated from Africa? Dammit, white people.

Then, things got a lil confusing (THEN:) with what appeared to be random stories of random peoples lives. It was as if cameras were set-up at random events such as weddings, parties, etc. Is Beyonce "big brother"? When I "people watch", I'm just at a park or looking out of my window. Apparently, when Beyonce "people watches", she spies on us all.

Someone quoted something about "Remember who you are." Something else about how “We're all kings (except for Beyonce's servants)”, and you need to go get what is yours... or something. And someone else said "Child of dust return to the river" I think we all know what that means.

Annnnd more blue guy. 

I’m starting think that the blue guy was just in Bey’s head the whole time. 

At one point, there was a bunch of blue guys, and they were all dancing.

I could go on, but that's enough; it's just more of that.

I will say this - I loved the fashion, the locations, the dances, and the music... WOW! I love everything culturally about "Black Is King", as well as the overall statement (artistically) that its making..

However... now, I'm not saying that I’M saying this, but some might say that throughout this 1hr and 25min long medley of music videos that they found themselves saying often "What the hell am I watching?" I repeat, I AM NOT SAYING THAT. Perhaps some just might not get it. Perhaps, not unlike this year (2020), there's no real meaning. Now, it could be divine retribution. Maybe all of the worlds doctors and scientists are conspiring against us (and themselves). Or maybe the world wasn't well prepared for this pandemic. Maybe the arrogance in SOME parts of the world

 are making their sitch worse, and MAYBE there's no meaning to give it. Maybe we simply need to start finally listening to one another and quit being assholes. Maybe 2020 is a year merely to be suffered through, and hopefully you'll make it to the end. Not that "Black is King" is something to be suffered through. I gave it an A+ remember? And I certainly, definitely, unequivocally finished it. I'm just... rambling like I do.

Do you remember any of the imagery from the movie "The Ring" - allow me to refresh you memory:

(Adele? How did you get in there?)

You know, just a lot of confusing shit (though I love that movie btw).

I'm reminded of this, because the images in this movie had no dialogue to them; we all had to join the main character in figuring it all out.

Now, picture that, but instead of the creepy girl, we're blessed with Beyonce, and it's in color... and smear Africa on it. BOOM! That's art! Who wouldn't want 1hr and 25mins of that??!

All hail The Queen.

[chrsitophwaltz]

MICKEY MEETS FC BAYERN (PART 1/4)

for the entire houston clownery experience click here

psa: excuse my face and the pic qualities. up until this happened i haven’t really taken pictures of myself (less than 10 in the past two years for family and work purposes and NEVER selfies) and when you meet people you’ve only seen on TV in a very unexpected circumstance, then don’t expect your brain and motor functions to work 100%.

okay. i posted part 1 of this a few days ago but i’m gonna redo it again to flush out the details. before i start, know that i arrived in houston wednesday afternoon. my original flight back home was scheduled sunday after the game (i booked my flight and lodgings months before like a good binch) but since bayern clowned again and announced the full detailed schedule really late, and put ALL the major fan stuff on SUNDAY, i grudgingly rebooked and extended one more day. how much that one extra day cost me will haunt me for a while but hey, it was more than worth it! of course, i didn’t know it would work out like that at first...

the hotel reception was around 6:30-7 pm on friday so we went there a few hours earlier to get good spots. met up with The Niko Thirst Gang (big shoutout to @screamingoranges, @saquonbrkley, and @simplyirenic! it was great meeting y’all hope we could do it again sometime) and waited patiently in the houston heat and humidity outside the hotel. finally the team bus arrived and got my shirt signed by boa, fiete, benji, leon, and thomas! made a post about it here and i also have the full reception video if y’all wanna see!

but being the greedy thirsty binch that i am, i wasn’t satisfied at all. thiago and niko weren’t there. the coaching staff were the first to go down and hansi flick, dr. broich, and even Witch Doctor™ müller-wohlfahrt were there, but NOT niko. after the bus left and all the other entourage cars were off, i was about to rage outside the hotel bc i was really banking on seeing niko that day and taking a pic with him there (my blood pressure had been raging for 4 hours and then to be let down just like t h a t...). apparently he and thiago went straight to nrg stadium from the airport for a press conference. and guess what? NRG STADIUM WAS JUST DOWN THE ROAD FROM MY PLACE 💀💀💀

anyway, come saturday and it was game day! i was so pumped since my seat was five rows behind the bayern bench! y’all know what that means: unlimited firsthand access to peak drama!!! i also had this huge ass sign asking for niko’s bottle sdhfsdjfh. the game was great (bc we beat madridies and it was just really exciting all the way) and i saw stuff that we normally don’t get from TV (e.g. ALL the angry niko antics, leon changing into his kit on the bench, etc.) at one point niko finally looked at my direction while drinking from his bottle and i’m pretty sure he saw my sign but he just kept on drinking sultrily from that goddamn bottle sjadhksfksdfdk i hate him!!!!!!!

after the game i was feeling pretty let down and desperate bc i know sunday was the team’s last full day in houston and i didn’t want my extension to be for nothing. the practice session and paulaner bbq were invite-only events (ugh) and the mall meet-and-greets won’t have niko or everyone else in them. so i set my alarm, went to bed, and decided to try my luck by randomly going to the hotel again to see if i can get something. i had no idea if it was gonna work or not. it was a shot in the freaking dark.

sunday morning. 8:30 am. i went out armed with a sharpie, my cardboarded jersey, a pack of gum, and two bottles of water.

my uber drove me to the hotel entrance and i even got the whole five star welcome sjdhfsjdfbjkds

hotel staff: ”hi! welcome to the post oak hotel!”

me: “oh lmao i’m not actually a customer i’m just here to see if the team’s still here. have they left for practice yet?”

hotel staff: “oh no problem at all. they’re still here they just finished breakfast i think”

me: “oh cool i’ll just wait here then”

hotel staff and some guy in a bayern audi fcb tour polo shirt: “it’s so hot here, though. don’t you want to wait inside?”

me:

me: “............i can do that? am i allowed in?”

bayern guy: *shrugs* yeah sure. i’ve seen you around before anyway (nice guy talk for: i know ur stalking them lmao)

just like that.

i’m in. i made it.

u n s u p e r v i s e d. totally no barriers whatsoever. with full blast A/C too!

cue happy lil me, relieved to be out of the houston heat, entering the hotel and chilling in their nice plushy seats. (if y’all have cash to burn, it looks like a real good hotel too if you get to houston sometime). i kept on looking over my shoulder bc i still can’t believe they just let me in like t h a t. i tried to make myself look as harmless and innocent as possible and saw some of the training staff milling around and chatting in german (for a moment i thought i was back in munich it was so surreal). at some point, a very sleepy and very casual javi martinez in slides came up to the reception and i nearly passed out. he looked over at me and i waved and said hi and raised my shirt (signal if he wants to sign). he shook his head no and gestured to reception and i was like “oh sure no problem!” (i was trying not to freak out even if i was sad ok)

i’ve been trying to kill time by screaming here on tumblr until about 10-15 minutes later i heard the huge ass team bus pull up out front. a few moments after that, it all started.

i saw the kitmen carrying stuff to the bus and greeted them “guten morgen!” they were so cheery lmao (idk if it’s bc they just had breakfast or bc i greeted them in german). then i saw dr. broich and hansi flick come out in their training gear (both looking hella tanned sfnsjfjsdfn) and greeted them both again. dr. broich waved, said hi, and went straight to the bus but i was able to flag hansi down for an autograph. in my excitement (he was my first catch of the day!) i forgot to ask for a pic ugh but oh well

me: “thanks hansi! and welcome to bayern!”

hansi: *handing me back my shirt and trying (and failing) to put my sharpie back in its cap* “oh, thanks so much!”

after hansi went on his merry way, i saw dieter nickles (the press conference guy) and asked him for a picture and autograph too.

me: “hi dieter! can i please have a photo and an autograph?”

dieter: “are you sure? i’m not a player...”

me: “haha i know but if it’s all the same to you...”

he seemed pretty chuffed that i knew him and happily signed and took pictures (score #2!)

that was it for a while (they were the early birds) until giovane elber himself came out. i freaked (i love him) and tried to keep my voice from shaking when i asked him for the standard photo and autograph. in my haste, the first was pretty blurry and against the light but giovane, angel that he is, was like “oh no that’s bad. let’s try again” and maneuvered me to another angle. success! i luff u, giovane ;__;

then The Voice of the Allianz Arena himself came out. i semi-shouted “stephan!” and startled him that he nearly dropped his coffee snbfsdbfsdfsb. while he was signing my shirt, i asked him if he could give me a lil soundbite and HE DID! he sounds exactly the same as he does on TV during games omfg

the younglings started to come out too. i missed a few of them because they went out in a group so i was only able to flag down sarpreet and ron. oh well! they cute af! go bayern babies! grow up and save us from clownery!!!!!!

(ignore the pen in my mouth i was multitasking lmao)

after that, the ground started to shake (just kidding) bc Big Uncle Nik was there! after i got his autograph (a very simple N.S. lmaooo) , we tried to take a picture. i say “tried,” because i’m 5′3 (and 1/2....on a good day) and he’s built like a fuckin skyscraper. in the end, since he was so nice and realized it was hopeless, he bent down to my level so we could both fit in the frame sdhfbsdjfsbdfjd COME ON SÜLEEEEE

then Pure Angel Baby Fiete came out! i already got his autograph and had a pic with him in the hotel reception, but hey, one more can’t hurt! lemme tell y’all: he looks like an angel, and IS an angel. he’s always so game for photos and even said thank you after we took the pic and i’m like “um???? no, thank YOU!!!” he laughed and i cried lmaooo

also, javi finally showed up again. i raised my pen and phone and he was like “oh sure! yeah!” my brain was fried from Beautiful Athlete Overload that i forgot NOT to take a pic from that cursed angle. javi looked like he was in a hurry though so i didn’t even try to ask for a better pic. oh well, at least here he looks like he came down from heaven (he really looked like he did huehue)

(tumblr has this stupid 10 photo per post limit thing so stay tuned for more pics in part 2!)

[bluefairykino]

so to go with both the fic i wrote earlier (and my idea for a dq9 novelization), here’s the main squad of the party! made with this

do take note that these are not their appearances clothing-wise! those are based on actual clothing items from the game (these i suppose could be casual clothes??? pjs??? idk) with, like, a few adjustments. these were mostly made to get physical appearances figured out.

and of course phoenix’s wings and halo aren’t there most of the time bUT YKNO AHAHAH

i do have ideas for characters surrounding the unlockable classes! but those guys haven’t been designed yet so i’ll post em later

further details of characters below the cut! includes basic design ideas, too.

Phoenix

Character Notes -baby girl who can and will kick ur ass -actual age is unknown but she physically looks around 18 or so. maybe slightly older than that. -physically mute. aquila gave her a magical pad of paper (never runs out) and a pen with everlasting ink (they’d have stuff like that up in the observatory im sure) and she mostly uses that to communicate. she does know sign language but can never be certain if someone else will so she doesn’t use it often. -always been super curious about the protectorate! but has rly only been limited to angel falls before falling so doesn’t know much about anywhere beyond that. -sees aquila as a fatherly figure, but doesn’t quite know how to admit it to him.

Design Notes -somewhere between 5′3′’ and 5′4′’ -thats four braids there not two (two in front two in back) -wears the full celestial clothing set. all the time. don’t take this away from her ITS HER LAST CONNECTION TO HOME -uses swords and shields only

Lepus

Character Notes -stinky bastard man (ok not rly) -BORN TO DIE ORIENTATION IS A FUCK -if he’s attracted to them he’ll flirt with them -tried his advances on phoenix once. it kinda worked but then she saved him during battle and he’s been head-over-heels for the woman since then. -doesn’t actually join the party at first, just kinda shows up a bunch for a while. actually joins during the gleeba saga. he and phoenix have a couple heart-to-hearts before that, tho. -bottom -lost his leg in an incident he doesn’t like to talk about. he’s fine now with the prosthetic and all but phantom pains and chafing and the stupid thing coming loose are all things so that sucks

Design Notes -5′5′’, almost 5′6′’. so close, yet so far. -wears dark robe/macabre mantle variant. purple bit is a light blue and main robe is dark beige-ish color -white tights. pant leg that’d cover prosthetic is cut short, tho -has gloomy gloves/murky mittens, but reddish part is dark blue -the sandals shown in the pic are right. yes he only wears it on the one foot. -uses solely knives. no shield. only stab.

Volans

Character Notes -baby boy. baby -srsly he’s like 16 who let this child hold a polearm -v bottom of the hierarchy in stornway’s guard. actually p tough but has serious anxiety and is super afraid of letting everyone down. -admires princess simona’s unending determination!! he wants to be like her. -joins phoenix to go fight the wight knight. ends up going with her on her journey as a whole in order to train and improve. -make him cry and phoenix will actually stab you. she won’t hesitate bitch

Design Notes -5′4′’ -black variant of the ‘mail’ armor set (with accents in various shades of purple) -similarly colored variants of the kneecaps, sabatons, and gauntlets. -no headgear! he prefers having his head exposed for some personal reasons -spears and shields over here

Crux

Character Notes -nonbinary -crux says fuck gender -yes they chose their name and yes it is meant to be similar to what u might be thinking rn -joins when phoenix and vorans go to zere. why? who tf knows -kinda creepy sometimes???? but nice nonetheless. -talks to themselves a lot for some reason. tends to deny it when confronted bout the whole thing, tho.

Design Notes -6 feet tall on the dot -variant of the angel’s robe w/ red replaced with a v pale blue -are blue tights a thing???? well they are now -the gloves in the pic are accurate -grey boots -basically a silver variant of the circlets with a blue gem instead of a pink one -staves!

Carina

Character Notes -mischievous lil lady -how old is she??? we just don’t know -teases LITERALLY EVERYONE in the party. nobody is safe. -might know that phoenix is a celestrian??? might know a few certain other things she probably shouldn’t??? oh dear -joins in coffinwell to help the town after doing all she could on her own. -might actually be some sort of magical spirit thing tbh who knows

Design Notes -5′7′’ -princess’ robe! but with shades of white/grey and pink in place of the yellow/gold and red bits respectively -marquess’ mittens -dark pink heels -pink and white variant of the magical hat -wands!

Mensa

Character Notes -5′3′’ -rambunctious lil girl -aaalways trying to one-up everyone and also herself. -a student of that grandmaster guy from the martial artist quests, but he focuses more on his other students than her and she ain’t happy -joins when the squad goes to find abbot jack. ends up staying in order to become strong enough to please her master -REALLY does not like lepus for some reason -might have a crush on phoenix. just a lil one. or maybe a huge one.

Design Notes -dragon dress w/ pale green sash and sleeves cut off -training trousers underneath the dress -she also has these things -same boots as the pic -not in pic but she has a long dark green ribbon holding her lil ponytail thing up!

[maureenbrown]

very basic timeline of spy au

saphael past

simon gets assigned job by luke and says his goodbye to the sh gang (minus magnus for now?)

he flies over to raphs location and introduces hmself. and they meet and such.

so then its just super lowkey. simon makes contact with base to let them know hes okay

then they have dinner my god already so romantic i hate them

but then raphael leaves to see his lil bro (hes engaged!!) and to cover someones shift at work

he returns back to see simon still working bc “im a night owl” and then falls asleep on simon

simon smiles and gently closes his laptop and goes to sleep too. he drapes a blanket over them first and sets an alarm for raphael

raphael wakes up in the morning and has such a cheesy smile on his face like wth

but he gets up and then makes breakfast for him + simon for when he wakes and leaves

simon wakes up and is like?? what happened?? but sees the food and is like! AWWW

anyways he goes about his day but also gets kinda bored and he isnt sure where the tv remote is so he starts watching on his laptop

raphael walks in to see a nerdy boy crying as he yells “GO GET HIM” at his screen and is like??

simon tells him to come over obv. and raphael just says no and angrily stalks upstairs

and simon is curious. so he goes upstairs and is like what happened

and raphael doesnt say shit bc hes still a stranger

so simon just brings his laptop and he sits next to raphael even tho hes still at a distance they watch some movie

and honestly its so nice. and once again they fall asleep on each other.

anyways this adorable thing keeps continuing until THE FRIENDS come over

and simon is like!! gotta impress them even tho he and raph arent dating yet

but his friends come over for dinner and are all sizing up simon like. is he good enough and who tf is so special they would make raphael smile

they decide they like him. very much.

more just getting to know each other until one day simon is like. i want a tour of the city gimme

so thats what they do bc its raphaels day off or w.e.

and theyre going around and being SUPER cheesy but its fine. its not like raphael cares

theyre getting to know other random facts about each other like fave __ bc simon points to things and is like!!!!!!

then. they find vidia and just cant leave

he sits down and is like. i’ll wait for the parent to come so the baby isnt all alone

and raphael is about to say that no one is going to come this baby was/is abandoned

but he doesnt have the heart so he sits down next to him

is ofc v good with babies. simon is not but its fine

but it gets to be night and no one came but simon is adamant. so they stay ALL FUCKING NIGHT WITH THIS BABY (except for one time when they left to get food)

and again. no one comes so theyre about to leave but then raphael says fuck it and they take the baby with them (they’ll real with the legal stuff later)

and ofc simon is still simon so hes like. we need to name her, and also put up posters JUST in case

they do that. but for naming they are very very argumentative.

raphael says the last name is rose bc they found a rose next to her and she has such a nice rosy face and simon agrees

simon wants to name her something disney related like vidia [bc he saw it recently and it was THE BEST]

raphael is like no?? lets name her something proper.

they still argue but decide to call her vidia SOMETHING rose

w.e. they continue and then it hits simon...soon hes gonna leave

and he realizes he doesnt wanna leave. not raphael or vidia

anyways they keep tiptoeing around this love thing they have

and they keep falling for each other as time goes on

eventually one night vidia is sleeping and theyre just watching some show

and theyre cuddling and raphael just leans down and kisses the top of his head

and simon...doesnt move away

he looks up sure. and they make eye contact and slowly come in closer...theres music playing from the show...their lips meet...

they start a relationship

nothing really changes they just...kiss more

and then raphael is like?? i gotta take you on a proper date FUCK

so they go clubbing bc simon insisted

simon gets rlly drunk and like. hooks up with some guy he thought was raphael but in the morning realizes HE WASNT FUCK

he tries to play it off tho and lie to raphael

“i woke up in a parkng lot” or smth but he lies

he doesnt tell about his hooking up no....someone else does

and raphael gets SO angry

not at the hooking up but the lie and betrayal

he doesnt talk to simon for weeks

they have this weird relationship where they work together for vdia but not together...

it makes simon go crazy and he almost leaves

but he also gets sick of it so he gets raphael to talk

and they kinda make things better. they arent the same but they amend it a bit

then!! they also gotta go to a wedding (raphaels lil bro)

and simon is a p r o he gets the job DONE

he kills valentine and has a dance with raphael so a+ work tbqh

he lets his orginzaiton know. but asks for one more week to stay bc raphael

but then he overhears raphael talking [to camille whos also at the wedding] and learns that raphael is an assassin

but he refuses to believe it. he also goes home tho and the car ride is super awk but he refuses to believe it. or talk about it

when he gets home raphael goes into the shower and simon just. cant let go of the feeling. he goes into raphaels room and goes digging

finds a file. on him

raphael walks in and is like?? the hell are you doing but simon is so angry

he yells he screams he throws things and then he picks up vidia from the little crib and runs. just runs and runs.

he finds a bus stop and gets on it still running. from raphael. from everything.

he makes contact with lydia who get shim to a house

the end

the beginning

simon and vidia are chilling

when like simon gets scared suddenly and orders her to upstairs

its too fuckng late and someone breaks open the door

someone being raphael

vidia gets knocked out and when she comes to shes so ???

and raphael is cryptic like hello child who is my daughter

and vidia is just. not taking it. and is jsut really confused

but then a bomb suddenly goes off and simon thrusts her towards raphael

and they run

she gets knocked out for like the second time that day

when she finally comes to again raphael is bandaging himself up

(she is already bandaged up)

she demands to be let go and is just. no she doesnt know this person she needs to go save her dad

and he gives like a hallow laugh and tells her that there is no saving her dad

hes gone most likely

but vidia is still held in disbelief and just doesnt believe any ofit

in fact she doesnt even know whATS happening and so very slowly he tells her

well about the spying and that he and his father had a disagreement

(he doesnt say shit about camille)

she still is just very adamant on leaving and doesnt believe it (refuses to) and so she still demands to be freed

he frees her and lets her go

she walks around bandaged and so confused/lost as to where she is

she meets a nice lookng girl and asks for directions

the girl offers to how her the way and walks along with her

she asks what vidia is doing all alone and very hesitantly vidia just says that she + her dad got hurt and separated

they walk and the girl says that yeah shes an orphan too and you know. gets more information out of vidia

they get to the house [remains of the house] and just. everything is a mess

and she sees raphael arrogantly standing and is s o angry

and is about to tell him off

but all he does is hand her a file where there are actual pics + documents

and just. a part of vidia knows its makes sense with all the closed doors and whispers

and raphael also gently remains her that he’ll let her keep running if thats what she wants but he’ll still be following her/watching her

and vidia is just. really tired but shes also really curious and she kinda agrees

they go to the hq [aka hotel dumort] and vidia gets her own private room and wanders around for a bit

she gets so lost because everything is so big but finallly finds like. the kitchen and remembers oh shit i gotta eat

she eats

soon enough guess who comes strolling in?? lita

and vidia is so caught off guard and also so annoyed?? LIKE WTH

lita smirks and takes an apple watching her

she briefly explains with a smrik that shes a con artist. she knows how to manipulate and vidia get sso angry its so funny

i need more plot points but basically they train her and she gets to know lita + raphael and she finds out more about her past. and about the other relatives that know about it and is just so !? and then she also goes around stealing and fighting corrupt and fighting her father

[jimlingss]

I literally hate myself i'm so damn emotional it's BARELY THE BEGINNING OF THE CHAPTER & i'm already getting all emotional cuz of the baby shower & taehyung's letter inviting her to his graduation 😭😭😭 just thinking about him sitting at his desk, thinking about y/n, biting his lip a lil to hold back a smile as he thinks about her, a warm yellow desk light turning his caramel skin gold 😭 & then the fact that i could somewhat imagine what the baby looks like due to that one baby pic of jin 😂😭

[Potential Spoilers Below]

myjeansareonfire said:AND JUNGKOOK'S GON OPEN A RESTAURANT IMAGINE HIM IN THE FUTURE VIGOROUSLY COOKING DISHES HIS SLEEVES ROLLED UP HIS APRON TIED, WIPING AT HIS BROW CUZ OF THE HEAT OF THE KITCHEN, YELLING OUT DIRECTIONS AT THE OTHER COOKS HPSKSKAJDJAJ AND IMAGINE HIM WORKING HARD EVERYDAY AT UNIVERSITY, MAKING FRIENDS ALONG THE WAY AND WHEN HE GETS SIDE TRACKED HE THINKS OF HIS MOTHER AND Y/N AND WHAT THEY WOULD THINK AND WANT FOR HIM AND IT ENCOURAGES HIM TO WORK HARDER

A-and then... The self control... The maturity... The-the IDK MAN THE FACT THAT YOONGI WAS ABLE TO DO THAT AND /FORGIVE THE DAMN GUY/ I'M 💀 i'm so amazed and proud and happy i'm like that gif of that girl crying and covering her mouth with one hand while fist pumping with the other

T_T Now I can imagine Jungkook doing that too *screams*. You’re making me think of the other characters and their future and oh man...I got a really soft spot for Taehyung’s character....BUT DAMN THAT IMAGE OF JUNGKOOK WASHING THE DISHES - DON’T MAKE SWERVE LANESSSS. *fans self*

wHAT WHO'S THAT PERSON IN THE PICTURE AND WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM ·O·

Namjoon turned into a softy my HEART also the image of him just picking up the child & throwing him into the light is quiet amusing tbh

Namjoon’s my favourite character of the trio. I’m very satisfied with his character development. And I love softness. I love soft people, soft gestures - I’m a very soft person inside as you can tell lol.

I'M SCREAMING WTF WTF WTFW TWFVA WHAT'S HAPPENING HOSEOK NO NO! NONONONOOOOOOO WHY 😭😭😭 SO HE'S THE PERSON?!?!? HAKDJAKKAJSKDCXJSJ WHAT'S HAPPENING GGGG I CAN'T I CAN'T!!!!! MY CHEST FEELS LIKE IT'S BEING RIPPED APPART AHHHHHH IT HURTS

Ohmygod jesus christ. What is this PAIN. That ending... Almost rivaled GoD because of the pain i felt in my chest... Geez. I am on the FLOOR i was /not/ ready for that. But i cannot tell you how releaved i was when i realized she was old and namjoon was there.... LOL i kinda feel bad cuz i was happy she died but like 😂😭 she was gonna see hoseok again! She was gonna be with him forever and that realization stitched my heart back together piece by piece

Part of me understand how you feel (since I cried sooo hard editing it) but the other part of me is laughing in my cave. I think it’s a very bittersweet ending - for sure.

And /girl/ i knew it!! I /knew/ y/n had to have known him in his past life... It's hard believing that she didn't tell him tho ;-; but i understand her reasons 💔 and GEEZ HE DIED IN SUCH A HORRIBLE WAY 😭😭 such a painful, painful way... Did you do that to show his strength and courage? I was thinking at first that that's such a cruel way to go but then again, i guess i kind of prefer it to an immediate death? Because.. Idk it's just kind of.. Beautiful in sad way? That ending also just (1/3)

seems to suite you as a writer more. It's more like, your style? And its more satisfying to see the prolonged way you write it. And our pain is kind of spared at the end knowing that she's gonna end up with hoseok anyway :') this series caused a lot of heart ache but in the most beautiful way. You have an amazing skill that never fails to blow me 👏 away 👏. How you can write to make people feel two polar opposite emotions and so well 👏 done 👏 always baffles me. This series (2/3)

might not be for everyone and i understand why but dear lord, i would do this all over again 😪 i'm just in awe right now 😂😭 another series... Well done :') 👏 (also on a side note that character 👏 growth 👏 tho!!!!!👏👏👏 for all three of them! I felt like a proud mom seeing her kids off to college 😭 but at the same time sad that they're leaving ya feel ;( ) i'm off to reread Devil's own luck :D (3/3)

I’m still working on my suspense skills - I think it’s better this time around than it was for His Name. (the following is a His Name Spoiler - do not read if you do not want to spoiled) I made it pretty obvious Yoongi was the mysterious boy in Jungkook’s head and ppl had already began guessing that in the second chapter ._. so I tried harder to make it more ambiguous if Y/N and Hoseok had ties or not. I’m still working on it haha but I think it was much better this time around. When I was considering the way Hoseok died...I had to select something that was far away from Y/N’s home so he couldn’t run into her automatically and it had to be a death that was slow - for the OC to be able to “finish” grieving (or at least the hysterical crying shock) so it wouldn’t be obvious. With creating a physical distance and a time distance, the OC is able to be more coldhearted towards Hoseok and not run into his arms, sobbing and stuff. Something like that. It ties together with the beginning - how Hoseok wakes up in darkness and in rubble. (Oooh). Also, a slower death allows him to think about his last wish and about the OC as opposed to a sudden one.

I’m glad you enjoyed the bittersweet ending :) And yes someone once said an angst story is only true if it ends with angst but man, if I read angst and it ends like that I become really sad so I try to find a medium. BUT WOW I AM SO HAPPY TO BE CONSIDERED TO HAVE A STYLE - THANKS :D Thank you so much for your support and detailed responses, I couldn’t have done it without you either.

For your dedication and for any readers who read the entirety of this message - I’ll reward you with an easter egg. A special secret hidden message.

In chapter 4, the OC describes someone she used to know, someone who hated spinach but it kept coming back to that person, in the same way she is forced to use her abilities. In the same chapter, later on...Hoseok expresses his disgust for spinach. 

[boystownbirdie]

LMWTV4U: GOT S7E4

Welcome back to let me watch TV 4 u! I watch TV so you don’t have to!

Today let’s explore Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 4 titled: The Spoils of War. Correct me if I’m wrong but I’m pretty sure that’s the name of a Clint Eastwood flick, no?

Today’s recap will be a quick one (due to my own time constraints, not for lack of DRAMA) so let’s go! 

First, we watch Jaime and Bronn marching away from Highgarden, fresh off of poisoning Gma Tyrell…

Bronn is like, why the long face bro? We know that Jaime is having #emotions about Gma Tyrell’s confession that she poisoned Joffrey. Jaime is like I CANT SAY. And he gives Bronn some cash money for his services. We get a shot of the giant truck of money which is important to the later scenes. Then Jaime tells Bronn and Sam’s Dad and Sam’s bro (lol his name is Dickon which is ironic because he is not really a dick but his dad sure is) to go collect the harvest from the local peeps.

Next, we stop in to see QPC talking to her banker friend in King’s Landing…

She mentions said truck o’ money and is like ITS COMING, DUDE. CHILL. And he’s like let’s discuss stocks and bonds. And then they have a discussion about investing. It’s kind of boring.

Next, we see Littlefinger giving Bran a knife…

Which is the knife that was used  to try to kill Bran waaaaaayyyy back in season 1. If you’ll recall in season 1 ep 1, Baby Bran saw Jaime and QPC boning and Jaime pushed him out of a tower causing him to be concussed and paraplegic but also gain some of his vision-abilities. While he was still concussed, QPC (we assume) sent someone to kill Bran to ensure he never told their secret. So Littlefinger (LF) gives Bran this knife and is like, let me know if I can be of any assistance. Then Bran quotes some OG LF (“Chaos isn’t a pit. It’s a ladder”) and LF is clearly freaked because this means Bran could also know about his betrayal of Ned Stark in season 1.

Meera comes in to check out Bran’s new wheelchair and to tell him she’s heading back home. Bran is like kewl bai. And she’s like srsly? I risked my life for your and my bro died for you. And he’s like I’m not Bran anymore, I’m the 3 eyed raven. I no longer have feelings.

Speaking of no feelings, we see our old pal Arya roll up at Winterfell and we feel ALL THE FEELS. She’s stopped at the gate by 2 very salty doormen who are like naw bitch, private club, members only. And she’s like I AM AN OG MEMBER OF THIS CLUB. After some cajoling, they let her in and she sits in Winterfell for the first time since she left back in Season 1 and then disappears. Was anyone else worried that she’d left? I was. But fear not.

The doormen go to Sansa and they’re like umm some bitch who says she’s your sis is here but now she’s gone? And Sansa’s like, I know where she went, TO THE CRYPTS! So Sansa goes downstairs and finds her sis and they reunite and hug and it’s adorable. It’s esp adorable since we know that IRL these actresses are besties but they haven’t had a scene together since S1, so to see their chemistry as real life friends play out is so sweet. Arya tells Sansa she’s just been bopping around killing people and Sansa is like LOL WUT? And Arya is like hahahaha jk. Did anyone else shed a single tear when A and S were discussing their past traumas and A says “Well, our stories aren’t over yet” ?!?!?! Cuz I shore did.  

Then they go to see Bran who is still being real creepy and #nofeelings. Sansa tries to warn Arya that Bran is a real bummer now, so Arya’s like hi bro, I haven’t seen you in a million years. And he’s like yes you were heading to King’s Landing to kill Cersei but changed your mind. And she’s like ummm, k? And Sansa helpfully tells her that Bran has “visions” now. But then Bran basically spills the beans that Arya was not JK-ing about being a trained assassin now. And Sansa is a little creeped. Then Bran gives Arya that same knife he got from LF cuz he’s like...  you know how to use it better than me.

Ladyknight sees Arya, Sansa, and Bran walking through Winterfell together and Pod, her squire (which is basically like an apprentice?) is like YOU DID IT YOU GOT BOTH GIRLS HOME SAFE. And Ladyknight is like naw it wasn’t me, but Pod is like take some credit, hun. And she’s like K thanks. Later, we watch Ladyknight and Pod sparring. Arya meets Ladyknight again and is like can I train with you? And they have a cute lil’ sparring scene in which Arya shows off her skills gathered over the past 7 seasons and Ladyknight is like WOWZA! Meanwhile, Sansa is watching and she seems kinda jelly? Or maybe she’s just nervous about her sis being an assassin? Sansa is watching this all with LF, and as they leave we’re reminded that Arya doesn’t like the looks of this guy.

Next, we stop in on Dragonstone, where things get HOT AND HEAVY

Khaleesi is heading to meet Bae and chatting with her hottie translator, Missandei (Missi) about Greyworm. Missi SPILLS THE TEA and is like we did EVERYTHING BUT. And is like it was goooooood. And Khaleesi is visibly shook but in the best way. They meet up with Bae who’s like lemme show you some caves. The last time Bae went into a cave with a beautiful lady, he lost his v-card so this has got us thinking. Khaleesi is like I’m not scared of Bae I’ll go alone. Bae shows her that he’s got enuf rocks for his rock collection (aka project to save everyone from the ice zombie army), but he’s like, there’s something else you should see. He shows her these cave paintings from children of the forest (CoF) who we basically like neanderthals in GoT-world. He’s like look, the CoF’s drew pics of them working TOGETHER with humans to defeat the ice zombies.

While he’s giving the tour, he touches her hand to guide her flashlight. AND IT IS SO HAWT I nearly exploded. He’s like, we must all work together to fight the ice zombies, and she says, “I will fight for you, I will  fight for the North.” But first you gotta #bowdownbitches. And he’s like ummmmmm can’t? And she’s like please, let’s work together. And they truly almost makeout right then and there it’s so hot.

When they emerge from their cave of sexual tension, Tyrion is there to tell her about recent battles. As you’ll recall from last week, things did not go as planned with taking over Casterly Rock, since Jaime diverted the army South to take Highgarden. Khaleesi is like I’m starting to wonder if you aren’t actually loyal to your bro and sis, Tyrion. Then she asks bae what to do. He’s like well just don’t use dragons to kill innocent people that’s what the bad guys do.

Next, no-knuckles (NK) and Bae have a discussion about Khaleesi. NK is like, she’s fly, no? And Bae is like “she has a good heart” and NK is like, boi you been checkin’ out more than her heart. They see good ole Missi who asks ‘bout Bae’s name “Jon Snow” and he has to explain it’s because he’s a bastard. They ask her about why she loves Khaleesi so much and she says it’s cuz they chose her as their leader and also knows she could leave if she wanted.

Next up, Previously-traumatized-Theon washes ashore. Bae is pissed at him because he betrayed his bro Robb Stark many seasons ago and killed some people in Winterfell, but Bae says he won’t kill PTT because he helped Sansa escape. PTT explains that he needs Khaleesi’s help to get sis back from their Uncle-Crazy-Pants, but Bae is like, umm…. Khaleesi is gone…

Which leads us to the last scene…

Bronn and Jaime are checking out the people farming that they discussed before. Bronn and Sam’s dad and bro confirm that they were able to collect grains/harvest etc… and Sam’s mean dad mentions that the gold is safely in King’s Landing. Sam’s mean dad (SMD) is like here’s a good idea to get things moving along, let’s flog the stragglers but Jaime is like ummm…..naw. Once SMD rides off, Jaime asks Sam’s Bro Dickon (SBD) how he feels about battles and SBD turns out to be a real sweetie pie just like his bro. He’s like I don’t love to kill people but I will if I have to.

All of the sudden, Jaime and co hear a rumbling far off. The skies are kind of gray and they’re on the wrong side of a hill so they can’t really tell what’s coming, but they #getinformation #beyonce and prep for battle. Then, a BILLION DOTHRAKI (the horse ppl who love Khaleesi) roll up on their horses, raring to fight. Jaime looks, frankly, spooked. His army is like ummm…wtf. AND THEN KHALEESI FLYS OVER ON A DRAGON OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!

Before the Dothraki ride their horses straight into the Lannister army, Khaleesi is like breathe fire, babe, and her dragon scorches a bunch of the Lannister fleet. Then the fighting really starts. It’s a lot of Dothraki really giving it to the straight-laced Lannister army who’ve never seen people fight like this before. And then a lot of Khaleesi telling her dragon to breathe fire and wiping out her enemy. IT IS BADASS and also Jaime looks positively terrified.

At one point, Jaime is saved by SBD during battle scene. Jaime tells Bronn to get the giant dragon-shooter-machine and Bronn is like no way, you do it. And Jaime’s like I GOT ONE HAND BRO, CAN’T (it’s very but-you-ain’t-got-no-legs-lieutenant-dan). It seems like Bronn is gonna just bounce, esp since he loses his gold, but instead he heads to the dragon shooter and gets it locked and loaded.

Meanwhile, Tyrion is watching this mayhem and he seems kinda sad. A Dothraki dude is like wow, your people are bad at fighting and Tyrion sees his Bro Jaime out there and seems remorseful. While Tyrion watches his bro struggle on the battlefield, Jamie also looks around at the destruction and fire and seems deeply sad as well.

But back to the battle, Bronn is firing away at the dragon with the giant-dragon-shooter. After some misses, he finally hits the dragon and successfully wounds him. In retaliation, the Dragon blows up dragon-killer-machine (Bronn narrowly escapes). Wounded, the dragon has to land on the shore and Khaleesi hops off to survey the damage to her baby boi. Jaime sees Khaleesi and is like, well, here’s my chance. He’s riding toward her on his horse and Tyrion sees this all and keeps saying, “flee you idiot” because, presumably, he doesn’t want to see either of these people killed.

Jaime rolls up, about to stab Khaeesi and it looks like it might happen when all of a sudden, the dragon brings his head around breathes fire directly at Jaime. At the same time, someone (it looks like Bronn) grabs Jaime and pulls him into the water to escape the fire blast. BUT THEN we just get a clip of Jaime sinking into the water and MAYBE DROWNING?!?!?!?!?!! OMG THIS EPISODE WAS AMAZING I AM GAGGED.

Let’s recap

Biggest surprise this ep: KHALEESI ROLLING UP ON A DRAGON!! Also, is Jaime dead?!?!?!?!

Biggest letdown: the cave of sexual tension was kind of a letdown but I think it’s happening people, I think it’s coming.

Important fashion moments: I’m loving the little getup Arya is wearing during her sparring match with Ladyknight. Also everything Khaleesi and Missi are wearing is #bomb.

Who died this ep? A bunch of Lannister army people, maybe SMD? Also a bunch of Dothraki too. And then the big Q- maybe Jaime?

Thanks for reading!!! Follow me on tumblr! Tell your friends!

Also, a disclaimer that I posted last week:

You might IDGAF this but just to lay it out there, I purposefully avoid all other recaps/reviews/think-pieces about the latest episode in the time between watching the ep and writing this recap. Sometimes I will hop on to the GoT wiki page to find out a character’s name or check a fact but mostly it’s just my own notes that I reference.

WHY AM I EVEN SAYING THIS? I often will read other recaps/reviews after writing and posting this one and I’m like OMG WE HAD THE SAME REACTION/ SAID THE SAME THING about a scene or a character. So I guess I just wanted to say that any similarities between this recap and any other recap are unintentional and coincidental.

I know what you’re thinking: PROVE IT. Well, much like Bae trying to prove the ice zombies are real, I can’t prove it, I can only state the facts and hope that my time-worn face and honest peepers will be enough :)

[fitnesshealthyoga-blog]

New Post has been published on https://fitnesshealthyoga.com/portland-i-love-ya-the-fitnessista/

Portland, I love ya - The Fitnessista

Hi friends! How’s the week treating ya? I’m back in Tucson and back into the swing of things over here. I have two podcast interviews this morning – the show will be back the week of June 3 – an Orangetheory class, and can’t wait to catch up with the crew tonight. I only technically missed one night from home, but after being gone last weekend, too, it feels like a lot! I’ve missed my lil nuggets so much.

Portland was such a blast!! After flying into town, I grabbed a rental car and drove to my hotel at the Mark Spencer. It was a quaint and charming spot with a beautiful interior. Some pics of my room:

(They only had rooms with two beds available when I booked so I just rolled with it)

I mostly chose this hotel because of its proximity to a lot of local restaurants and shops! I dropped off my luggage and headed straight to explore. First stop was Powell’s Books, which so many of you had recommended. It was an enormous bookstore with rows and rows of new and used books. They also had a coffee shop, huge kids’ area, and a little gifts section. I could have spent hours browsing and enjoying the smell of books. 

Next, I walked down to take a class at barre3 in the Pearl District. After an entire day of sitting, I was ready to shake my legs out a bit. When I arrived at the studio, I found out that it was their flagship location, dubbed “The Pearl.” This is where the magic began and the crazy thing is that the founder, Sadie Lincoln, had taught a class at that location that very morning. 

  One of my favorite things about barre3 is that it’s so consistent. You know exactly what to expect each time you go to a class; a mixture of mind-body connection, breath work, and quad-burning leg work. Barre has been missing from my routine quite a bit lately – I get bored *teaching* myself barre and it can be tough to work studio classes into my schedule- but it’s still one of my favorite formats. Hopefully P will be into the Play Lounge again one of these days! (She’ll only go if her best friend is there.) Stacey led this class and she was an incredible instructor. She was very motivating and crushed my legs in the best way possible. 

After barre, I went back to the hotel for a quick change and then met Rachel at Tasty n’ Alder for dinner. 

Rachel and I connected quite a few years ago when I was in Portland for a blog event. We’ve stayed in contact through Instagram since then, so when I found out I’d be in Portland for a night, I reached out and see if she wanted to meet for dinner and wine.

The food at Tasty n’ Alder was WONDERFUL. I feel like Portland is dotted with unique and delicious restaurants everywhere you look, and this one certainly didn’t disappoint. The vibe reminded me of our beloved Commoner & Co. – rustic and cozy, with modern spins on classic dishes. We shared a cheese board, the Brussels sprouts (which were crispy and lightly sweet), the short rib (which came with housemade kimchi) and the potato donuts. I just wanted to curl up and live in these. I drank wine, we chatted about books and Rachel’s recent retreat to Bali, and it was perfect.  

Wednesday morning, I forced myself to wake up early so I could grab a quick breakfast at the hotel before driving to Lake Oswego.  

The entire drive down, I was in awe of the scenery. It was such a gorgeous drive: lush green landscapes, blooming cherry blossoms, and hiking trails. I feel like I want to live there, or at least visit for longer than 24 hours. 

Before some fun brand meetings, I was able to check out a Starcycle class. (I feel like usually I don’t get the chance to work out twice on vacation since I’m with the fam, but this time since it was just me, I decided to live it up.) I’m a huge fan of boutique cycling studio classes and this one was unlike any of the ones I’ve tried. It was a party on the bike – the music was AWESOME – and they have childcare. It felt great to get in some cardio, especially since I’d be spending a huge chunk of the day sitting on an airplane.

For lunch, I grabbed a giant salad at Garden Bar and headed to the airport. I was pumped to see that Blue Star donuts were at the airport when I arrived.

You guys said they were better than Voodoo Donuts, and you don’t lie. It was seriously the best donut I’ve had in my entire life.

I also brought back some apple fritters for the girls, so they had those with their scrambled eggs this morning and were pumped about life.

The flights back were pretty uneventful, and I stopped in the lounge for a snack:

(vegetables! and wine)

finally finished China Rich Girlfriend, and started The 6 Keys and The Great Alone. I already can’t put this one down. 

  I hope you have a great day and I’ll see ya in the morning with some faves!

xo

Gina

Looking for a workout? try this leg and booty burner!

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[daddyconfessions]

sugar tales: baby ripped me off

I’ve gotten a lot of anon questions so I haven’t been able to blog on my past experiences as much as I would like. But, now that I’m catching up I can get back to sharing how things are for us Daddy’s out here.

I met Ripoff on SA around late April. She was the first seemingly decent SB after a long dry spell for me. I’d met Nebraska on the rebound from Bottlecap. Nebraska and I started in December ’14 and we lasted about several weeks. But I fucked up with her and she ended up getting another SD before I could fix things. Even though I started the year off so so, the spring of 2015 would prove to be a rough time for daddy.  

So I message Ripoff on SA and play the waiting game. After a few days she messages back. A few pleasantries are dispensed with the back and forth before we move on to texting.

After several texts Ripoff brings up money – not an allowance. Baby hits me with the stress method. Tells me her rent is due and she’s about to be put out.  

I don’t mind the stress method. Just use it in context. If it’s the middle of the month and you haven’t paid your rent then that’s just ratchet. The rent stress method makes more sense if ran at the end of the month or beginning. Just FYI if you’re using this. Don’t insult daddy’s intelligence. Also, my personal rule for any stress technique is to keep it transactional. No honey…no money. I know I’ll get hate mail for that one. But those are my own personal rules.

I get her to send more pics and she does, a few of which she shouldn’t have. I can tell from the bad ones the apartment is nowhere near the amount she’s asking.  I play along with her story, and before long I’ve shaved off a few $$$$ from her request. Suddenly she shifts from needing rent to needing to get her water bill paid.  Judging by her apartment pics no way she’s paying that much on water either. And I see baby stuff in the background. Not looking good. But, I cut her some slack not because she deserved it but more because the year had been rough.  

I agree to the amount for the water bill and we’re supposed to meet.  She says she’ll meet me at the hotel and she wants the money up front. Nope. No smash and dash here baby. We argue over that and then stop talking. She text me randomly over the next few days or so, testing the waters and trying to guilt me into giving her the cash. Not interested.

We stop talking for a few weeks and then she messages me on SA. Says she’s lost my number and would like to start talking again. She’s sweet this time. I like it.

We start back texting and within a couple of days I’m heading over to pick her up. She lives in a neighborhood undergoing gentrification. Million dollars homes tower above $50k houses. Of course I pick her up from the $50k duplex houses. We go for coffee because neither one of us is really hungry. It’s the beginning of the summer so its hot. Baby comes out in blue jean shorts and some type of sports bra. Nice. Ripoff’s a good looking latin chick. Dark brown skin, curly black hair….got that Salma Hayek thing going.

We chit chat. Baby is having a hard time. She moved out of her apartment in with a stripper friend. It was her stripper friend –after Ripoff had showed her our text messages and my pic – that told her she should really try and hook up with me. Stripper friend also told her she’d take me if Ripoff wasn’t interested. Wouldn’t be the first time I was passed around….I’ll blog on that in the future.

Baby opens up and tells me about herself. She hasn’t made the best decisions in life. She’s got two kids –although I couldn’t tell by looking at her. Stomach was flat and tight. Her mother has custody and mother also has the car she bought. Ripoff hasn’t been very responsible – half taking care of the kids and missing car note payments. She needs me to do these things for her. Get her life back together. She convinces me that she’s ready to change and get back on track. After she sees the wide-eyed look on my face she says, “Yea I know it’s a lot baby. I hope I don’t scare you off….”

I’ve seen worse. Cap’n Sav-A-Hoe to the rescue. I’ll gladly put on my cape and save her. Up Up and Away!!! Wouldn’t be the first time. I tell her I’m cool with everything and she’s ecstatic. She’s got a place through some city program and she needs help getting a U-haul to move her stuff in. She just wants someone stable. A father figure.  I’m good with it all. We talk more about her interest. Turns out she’s fairly decent chick.  Ripoff has some decent career plans and big things on her wish list. She shows me a few pics where she’s appeared in some rap videos, one of them being a fairly new up and coming guy.

Damn. I’m about to lay a video hoe? Gotta love the sugar bowl.

And she’s been on the album covers of some local talent. Not too shabby. She tells me she’s been living the life, turning up, and she’s lost everything because she’s ignored her responsibility.  

It’s plausible. But, I’m still a little confused about how she lost her kids, and being so irresponsible with car notes given the company she keeps. Somebody should have been shelling out some cash on baby. But hey it is what is.

We end up kissing and making out. Baby likes me suddenly. Tells me my eyes pretty – ok you can stop now. The other patrons take note of our PDA. Even though no cash was discussed for today in particular, baby wants to get her nails and feet done so she can feel good about herself again. Life’s been so tough. She wants new shoes and to go shopping but I tell her designer items are not good for the homeless. I tell her she needs to get her priorities straight. She frowns and I can tell I hit a nerve but she nods and agrees. She knows I’m right. I pull out some cash and give her some. She can’t do anything sexually because she’s on her period. But that’s cool. The game has taught me not to expect the kitty on the first date.

I cut the date short and head back to her place. When she finds out I occasionally get pedicures and manicures she wants to go together. Cool with me. I know some upscale places that serve wine during the service. She really likes that.

We kiss and say goodbye. We’re going to hook up in a couple of days and start our arrangement. Maybe after the mani/pedi.  However, within two days the ratchetness is back. She’s doing all the things again that stopped me from talking to her the first time.  And the promise of our mani/pedi date is gone. She went ahead and got it already because she was near the place. Damn that was going to be our icebreaker.

Its like our conversation at Starbucks went completely out the window. Now, she needs emergency money again, needs help buying a bed for her new place, blah blah and pretty soon she’s got a whole list of new needs. Fuck it. I drop a few stacks to solve all of her immediate problems. Under normal circumstances this wouldn’t be too bad. But my gut, my instincts say I need to close the deal and smash before I do any major cash outlay. But I give her the benefit of the doubt and I feel the need to step up my game since she’s dealing with rappers and entertainers.

Despite this, the bullshit keeps up for a few more days….now she needs me to rent a car so she can get around. She needs a deposit for the lights.  I start ignoring her but some part of me likes Ripoff. If I’m going to salvage anything with her I need to play it safe. Fuck it, I’m already financially invested in her. Might as well see it through. So I tell her let’s start our arrangement and then we can work on getting the rest of things she needs.

Her parents having her kids and car, and the fact that she lives with her friend says she’s irresponsible and can’t keep up with commitments and obligations.  I need to smash and get it over with at this point. Make sure she’s even sincere about this whole thing. Action always speaks louder than words. I know…probably more hate notes and mail. She gives me the dance around with getting started. Suddenly she’s busy doing this and that and dodging the arrangement.

Baby goes MIA for a week. One day, I text her. This will be my last attempt. She answers right away. I tell her I want to start over. Forget the money I’ve already given her. I tell her I want to come through and spend time with her. Of course I’ll have some cash when I come. Baby says ok. We set up the time and before long I’m on my way.

Ripoff answers the door looking good. Her hair is slightly damp from a recent shower and I can tell she’s not wearing underwear in those blue jean shorts. We catch up and both confess we haven’t handled this well. Then baby goes over to a nearby basket of clothes and grabs a piece of lingerie.  She asks for the money  and then tells me she’s going to go change. She goes to a room and closes the door.

Then I hear her lock the door. WTF?

After a moment she says you can come in baby…..I jump up, full of weeks of anticipation and walk towards the door. As I put my hand on the door knob, the door to the apt/duplex opens. A guy walks in on the phone.

“What the fuck?” he says looking at me crazy. Then he starts yelling  “Who are you? “ and “Who are you here to see” and then “I know you’re not here for Ripoff. That’s my girl man. We about to have some problems.” Blah blah

Surprisingly I’m relaxed. I try the door handle but its still locked. I tell her to come out but she doesn’t answer. Meanwhile this lil short midget thug is talking shit on the phone.  “Man I just went to the store and came back and this mofo at my house….” Now I know I’ve been setup. Then he hangs up like he’s going to do something. We he sees I’m not scared he’s like, “We gonna have to go outside and talk about this.” One backhand and a couple of jabs and I’d have this guy taken care of. A kick on the cheap ass door would allow me entry into the room where Ripoff is.

No sooner then I think it then I realize the real danger I was in. The legal danger. In a flash I realize if I kick ass and get my money back  I could have all kinds of legal problems. It’ll be there two words against mine. And it is it really worth my Director title at work, my job potentially, not to mention the embarrassment.

I decide to bounce. I got enough cash to play another day.  

I get outside and he’s still talking shit. I tell him they got a pretty good scam going but karma is a bitch.  “My guess is you target professional men with a lot to loose. Nice. But be careful, you could run across the wrong guy.” He starts cursing me out. By then I’m out of the drive way and heading to my car. I see some of his boys waiting on the other side of the house. Now I get the sense of the real danger I was in.

The cash they stole was nominal. Glad I followed my instincts and didn’t buy ALL the shit she asked for.

In the end I chalk it up to the game. I consider dumping my SA account. Too grimey. Now it’s almost June. I’m hoping this summer gets better because 2015 hasn’t been good to daddy. I start to miss the old days when a daddy could post an ad on CL and call it a day.

A few weeks later I get a message from newbie named Kansas. I’ll post on her next time.

PS., excuse any grammatical errors, etc. I wrote this story on my lunch break

[jonasmaurer]

Portland, I love ya

Hi friends! How’s the week treating ya? I’m back in Tucson and back into the swing of things over here. I have two podcast interviews this morning – the show will be back the week of June 3 – an Orangetheory class, and can’t wait to catch up with the crew tonight. I only technically missed one night from home, but after being gone last weekend, too, it feels like a lot! I’ve missed my lil nuggets so much.

Portland was such a blast!! After flying into town, I grabbed a rental car and drove to my hotel at the Mark Spencer. It was a quaint and charming spot with a beautiful interior. Some pics of my room:

(They only had rooms with two beds available when I booked so I just rolled with it)

I mostly chose this hotel because of its proximity to a lot of local restaurants and shops! I dropped off my luggage and headed straight to explore. First stop was Powell’s Books, which so many of you had recommended. It was an enormous bookstore with rows and rows of new and used books. They also had a coffee shop, huge kids’ area, and a little gifts section. I could have spent hours browsing and enjoying the smell of books. 

Next, I walked down to take a class at barre3 in the Pearl District. After an entire day of sitting, I was ready to shake my legs out a bit. When I arrived at the studio, I found out that it was their flagship location, dubbed “The Pearl.” This is where the magic began and the crazy thing is that the founder, Sadie Lincoln, had taught a class at that location that very morning. 

  One of my favorite things about barre3 is that it’s so consistent. You know exactly what to expect each time you go to a class; a mixture of mind-body connection, breath work, and quad-burning leg work. Barre has been missing from my routine quite a bit lately – I get bored *teaching* myself barre and it can be tough to work studio classes into my schedule- but it’s still one of my favorite formats. Hopefully P will be into the Play Lounge again one of these days! (She’ll only go if her best friend is there.) Stacey led this class and she was an incredible instructor. She was very motivating and crushed my legs in the best way possible. 

After barre, I went back to the hotel for a quick change and then met Rachel at Tasty n’ Alder for dinner. 

Rachel and I connected quite a few years ago when I was in Portland for a blog event. We’ve stayed in contact through Instagram since then, so when I found out I’d be in Portland for a night, I reached out and see if she wanted to meet for dinner and wine.

The food at Tasty n’ Alder was WONDERFUL. I feel like Portland is dotted with unique and delicious restaurants everywhere you look, and this one certainly didn’t disappoint. The vibe reminded me of our beloved Commoner & Co. – rustic and cozy, with modern spins on classic dishes. We shared a cheese board, the Brussels sprouts (which were crispy and lightly sweet), the short rib (which came with housemade kimchi) and the potato donuts. I just wanted to curl up and live in these. I drank wine, we chatted about books and Rachel’s recent retreat to Bali, and it was perfect.  

Wednesday morning, I forced myself to wake up early so I could grab a quick breakfast at the hotel before driving to Lake Oswego.  

The entire drive down, I was in awe of the scenery. It was such a gorgeous drive: lush green landscapes, blooming cherry blossoms, and hiking trails. I feel like I want to live there, or at least visit for longer than 24 hours. 

Before some fun brand meetings, I was able to check out a Starcycle class. (I feel like usually I don’t get the chance to work out twice on vacation since I’m with the fam, but this time since it was just me, I decided to live it up.) I’m a huge fan of boutique cycling studio classes and this one was unlike any of the ones I’ve tried. It was a party on the bike – the music was AWESOME – and they have childcare. It felt great to get in some cardio, especially since I’d be spending a huge chunk of the day sitting on an airplane.

For lunch, I grabbed a giant salad at Garden Bar and headed to the airport. I was pumped to see that Blue Star donuts were at the airport when I arrived.

You guys said they were better than Voodoo Donuts, and you don’t lie. It was seriously the best donut I’ve had in my entire life.

I also brought back some apple fritters for the girls, so they had those with their scrambled eggs this morning and were pumped about life.

The flights back were pretty uneventful, and I stopped in the lounge for a snack:

(vegetables! and wine)

finally finished China Rich Girlfriend, and started The 6 Keys and The Great Alone. I already can’t put this one down. 

  I hope you have a great day and I’ll see ya in the morning with some faves!

xo

Gina

Looking for a workout? try this leg and booty burner!

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[itsworn]

The Late Lil’ John Buttera … #1 in the Hot Rod Builders World

The fun part about writing an editorial is that you can speak your peace. Now, I have no intention of bringing the world down upon my earlobes so the following is merely my opinion and doesn’t have to be yours, and I can respect that … but!

For starters, I have had the incredible good fortune through my dayjob to meet many (not all) of the hot rod builders in this country (and some abroad) over the past five decades. One thing is for certain, this world is loaded with talent, incredible talent. For fear of leaving someone out I will just leave it at that and state that every corner of this country is represented by many and each has made his (or her) mark. It doesn’t really matter what the style of build is … whether it be a show car or hot rod, trailer queen or driver, cruiser or racer, there are plenty of these engineering works of art out there and each of us has had and will have the good fortune to see the results of their efforts.

My earliest recollections of working with Lil’ John Buttera occurred when I was editing Rod Action. On this day we put Buttera’s son, Chris, behind the wheel with a surfboard sticking out of the “white roadster” and the photo ended up as a drop-in on the cover.

I’ll stop running around the garage now and tell you straight up that Lil’ John Buttera was the best I have ever seen in our industry. Now he couldn’t paint a lick, wasn’t very fond of wiring (and I have firsthand experience on this subject), wasn’t about to break out a sewing machine, and he sure wasn’t on the leading edge as a friendly conversationalist, but there’s more. When it came to imagination, engineering, and fabrication this hot rodder could get it done. Buttera received the first Indianapolis 500 Clint Brawner Mechanical Excellence Award in 1987. The award is looking for a recipient who, “… exemplifies the mechanical and scientific creativity, ingenuity, perseverance, dedication, enthusiasm, and expertise. …” Pretty lofty credentials for a homebuilder of hot rods!

It’s been a decade, a tad over 10 years, since we last saw Buttera and one of his creations. He brought his building career to an end while developing Harleys and components for the factory. In his “downtime” he would tinker with all sorts of hot rod projects. His last project was the Lakes Modified that was an exercise in one-off components that he built … and that includes the frame, suspension, motor (literally as it was his block and crank design), and an assortment of components to finish out the lil’ hot rod all in his home garage.

My favorite pic of Buttera; he had a great smile and when I could catch him smiling it was a plus. It’s early in the morning, smile on his face, and a cup of coffee in hand; overlooking the shop and the day’s projects was always a good time. We lived pretty close to one another so it was fun to just stop by.

I found the best time for me to “gain traction” when wishing to speak with Buttera would be to drop by his home (as he lived nearby) in the morning. I would find him with his standard cup of coffee and a cigarette contemplating the ideas that would come to fruition that day.

When I wrote about Buttera’s last build and finally an editorial on his passing I had the good fortune to speak to many more accomplished hot rodders than I, and each one told me story after story about Buttera’s accomplishments. I’m not going to repeat at this time but suffice it to say when I proclaim him as the “The Best Homebuilder” our industry as ever seen I have a strong contingent of eminently qualified rodders ahead of me who will support my claims of Buttera’s greatness. Additionally, I place great stock in the opinions of others who pound keyboards for a living and the late Gray Baskerville was the first to recognize and become a close personal friend (an accomplishment in and of itself) with Buttera. Baskerville brought Buttera to our consciousness in the world of hot rods … and it’s never been the same. The billet movement along with the handmade (limited production run) billet wheels owes its very existence to him.

Chip Foose (pretty sure you know the name and face!) polishing the body’s edge on Buttera’s last roadster before our trip to Indy in 2005. Oh, look who is photo bombing us before there was photo bombing … an incredible craftsman and painter in his own right, Charley Hutton.

In this day and age of professional shops (and that’s a subject for another time!) Buttera’s best hot rod work (including an Indycar) came out of his garage. Yes, his home garage. So without any further ado I proclaim him the “Best of All Hot Rod Homebuilders.” He wasn’t particularly prolific in the quantity of hot rods built during his 50-year building career, although he did build a number of dragster and Funny Car chassis before switching over, but his hot rod builds were cutting edge on creativity, workmanship, and engineering. He loved the roadster but built closed cars too. Those who knew him understood it was about the roadster in white and the Model A grille.

There are plenty of homebuilders and pro builders but there’s only one who was the best at both … thank you Lil’ John Buttera.

(If you want to see and read more about the inner workings of our industry “Friend Me” on my personal Facebook page. –BB)

The story here isn’t John working on the last set of billet wheels he made but rather the door behind him. You see that led to a guest bedroom at his house. He would sleep in that room with the door open so he could watch “Guido” (his CNC machine) and make sure Guido’s little red light was on and it was performing as expected throughout the night.

Buttera’s home garage/shop in his last years was the place to be. (Easier said than accomplished!) Hot rods and Harleys were Buttera’s life during his last decade. Here you can see him to the far left (holding court), way in the back working in the sink is Carbon Kenny, John Robinson (Fat Jack’s kid) is at the workbench, and Eric Vaughn (the wheel guy and lover of motorcycles) is working in the cockpit of the Lakes Modified roadster. (I was told to stand in the driveway and not get in the way … probably a wise decision.)

The “last drive” across country to the Goodguys Indy event and here we are with the first of many breakdowns, with this one occurring in Riverside, CA. John with head buried inside the roadster is helping Robinson who you can’t see as he is fully engulfed inside working on the shift linkage.

A great day: Lil’ John and Carbon Kenny in the Lakes Modified, Andy Brizio and Cub Barnett in Andy’s Deuce highboy, myself and Angelo Gimapatroni then of Ford Racing in my Model A highboy, and of all people Bob Rottenburg in his Deuce streak bed truck at the Brickyard taking a lap on the most famous racetrack of them all … Indy.

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