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xpeachesncream · 4 years

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restart | six

[ SEQUEL TO PERFECTLY WRONG ] | [ series masterlist ]

summary: as you and taehyung start to build your life together post graduation, things become more complicated than what you expected it to be. while taehyung struggles with his inner demons, you’ve become the sole supporter, the pillar, juggling different jobs to keep you two afloat. your love for each other has been put to the test as your relationship continues to face hurdles - hurdles that have you questioning whether or not your relationship will make it through.

pairing: reader x fiancé!kth

genre: post grad au, established relationship au | fluff, angst, smut

words: 3.9k

warnings: cussing/mature language, jealousy, lots of insecurities and overthinking, angst, crying, arguments, y/n and tae get really mean with each other honestly, unprotected soft sex in the flashback scene, alcohol consumption, y/n really going above and beyond for her man though

note: taehyung’s one shot for the witchers one series will be coming out.. probably this weekend? i’ll continue taking some breaks in between posting new chapters for bands and restart so i can work on this too!

tags: @enchantaeduniverse @thedarkwinterrose @sapphirejeon @jwlmnbt @bluesharksandfish @ra-mun-e @brightcolorsoffendme @jungcrookthecookbook @sunniejinnie (please message me if you would like to be added to the taglist!)

You looked at the new picture hanging on the hall at Jin's café. It was a picture of you, Taehyung and your friends in your graduation caps and gowns. You smiled to yourself seeing how happy you all were to finally overcome the milestone together, how happy you and Taehyung were to have gotten through it together.

It seemed like a distant memory.

"Hey." Jungkook comes behind you, his blonde hair almost covering his eyes.

"Hmm?" He follows your gaze to the picture.

"What time is your shift over?" He asks, trying to change the subject. You turn to him and sigh, checking the time on your phone.

"Mm, in a bit actually. I have to run home and get ready."

"Oh hey, you're meeting that girl today right? To see if you can sell some of your art and merch in her boutique?" You smiled from ear to ear.

"Yeah! She's such a sweetheart, I'm super excited. I hope it works out."

"I'm sure it will." He pinches your cheek. He doesn't say anything else, being that he can tell other things were on your mind but you weren't ready to talk about it yet.

Racing home to the apartment, you decided to hop into a quick shower and throw on some better clothes. You still couldn't believe Brandi had came up to you at the flea market, almost feeling like she was a blessing in disguise. You smiled at yourself in the mirror, the excitement peeking through as the minutes went by.

"Hey! Goodluck today, little one!" You picked up Jin's call as you walked out of your apartment and down to your car. Taehyung, for whatever reason, was nowhere to be found, and you figured he was just out with Namjoon or one of their other friends. You had left him sound asleep earlier, and you didn't think he had any plans today. But, you would just have to see him later and tell him all about the meeting. You were actually excited to, especially after last night.

➤ FLASHBACK

Taehyung gripped onto the headboard as he rolled his hips into you, your clit rubbing against him as his body lowered onto yours. He kept his eyes on you, his lips barely grazing yours as he softly hissed and let out small moans.

“Hmmmfuck.” You softly mewled. For once, the love making felt like old times - the passion. The fire. The feelings. It felt like Taehyung was making love to you like the world was going to end. And the thought of it, the feeling of his body against yours, the warmth - it made you feel complete, and like you never wanted to leave this moment.

"I love you so much, baby." He whispers as he continues to pick up his pace, rolling his hips and working in tandem with yours.

"I love you, too." You softly say as your fingers lock into his hair, his lips pressed gently against your neck as he laid soft kisses along a straight path and nipped at your skin. You arch your back slightly, the pleasure starting to bubble up within your core as you hear Taehyung moan against your neck.

"God, baby I'm gonna cum." He continues to moan. "Cum with me."

"Close." You moan softly, tugging on his hair as he picks up his pace and begins to thrust a little more aggressively. "I-I'm--"

"Uh huh." He nods. "That's it, love."

"I'm gonna cum." Your hands are now gripping his shoulders, nails digging deep and leaving red marks against his honey-dipped skin. It takes a few more rolls before you feel your body trembling under his grip, muffled moans trying to escape as you let the orgasm ripple through you. As you come down from your high, you feel Taehyung fill you up warmly, his body still ontop of yours as he tries to regulate his breathing. He presses his lips against your jaw, to your forehead, to your nose, then back down to your lips before he removes his softening member from within you and plops next to you on the bed. He instantly swoops you into his arms, your head laying on his chest as you ran your finger in circles around his collarbone.

"Baby." He says softly. "You mean everything to me. You know that right? I got you through anything, no matter what." You simply nod before he places another kiss against your head.

➤ END FLASHBACK

"Thank you. I'll tell you all about it later, okay?"

"Sounds good. I know this'll work out. I'm proud of you, you know that right?" Your smile lightly fades. Yeah, it was a big deal, but you still hadn't told anyone a lot of your other plans had been put on pause.

"I know." You softly chuckle. "K, I need to get going. I'll call you later."

"Love you, drive safely." He says before you return the love and hang up. You hopped into your car and began to drive off to the destination downtown. However, as you neared the boutique, another call came through to your car, but from an unknown number.

"Hello?"

"Hi, is this Miss Y/L/N?"

"Yeah, this is she."

"Hey there. Could you come down to Jack's? We have your fiancé here. He's intoxicated and he's been giving the staff a hard time." You sigh and look at your watch. Jack's was on the opposite end of town. You were never going to make it on time for your meeting. You had promised you'd be there to make this work.

"Where is he?" You say as you quickly park your car and make your way to the restaurant. You see him slouched onto the bar, slurring his words to the police men. The bar stools around him were all turned over, glasses broken and flyers from the wall had been ripped off. You couldn't help but begin to cry because you knew this was all Taehyung's doing, and quite frankly, you had so many emotions - you were scared, upset, empty, exhausted. You didn't know what else to do, but you loved him.

And yet here you were again, pushing your goals aside to help the love of your life.

"Tae, baby. Let's get up, okay?" His eyes are glazed as they turn to you. He smiles, but he struggles to get up, the police man helping support him as you both bring him to your car.

"Baby girl." He mumbles.

"Shh. Just stay here." You shush him as you get him situated in the passenger seat, tears streaming down your face.

"I'm sorry sweetie, but this damage needs to be covered." You took the ticket from the police man, showing the restaurant charging over $200 worth of the damages.

"It's fine, I'll take care of this. I'm so sorry."

"If you need anything, please let us know." The cop couldn't help but sympathize looking at you. At this point your cheeks were hot, tears continued to stream down your face and your hair had become a mess having supported Tae back to the car. You silently climbed in, crying to yourself as you drove back to the apartment, Taehyung slumped and asleep in the passenger seat.

You did your best to support him back to your apartment, the security guard offering help but you turned him down. You had been doing good so far and you thought you had this in the bag. As you had exited the elevator, Taehyung stumbled upon his own two feet, bringing the both of you down.

"Babe, get up please." You cried, using all of your force to get him up. He did try his best to stable himself as you stood, but the five steps to the front door ended up being twenty, with a few more stumbles in between. "Please, we're almost there." You continued to cry.

You finally got Taehyung out of his clothes and into the bed, washing his face with a warm towel before you let him sleep peacefully. You made your way to the living room and just broke down. Your meeting was way past its time, and yet you had passed on another great opportunity because you needed to be there for Taehyung. You felt helpless.

You just didn't know how else to do it.

"Hello? How'd it go?" Jungkook asks on the other line.

"Kook, I don't know if I could do this anymore." You cried into the phone. "I can't do it." You cried silently, heavily.

"Y/N." He sighs worriedly. "What happened? Do you want me to come by?"

"No, I-I just—" You cry as you sink to the floor, your back against the wall. "I've given up so many things for him, and he even apologized last night. Saying he'd do better and all this shit, but he hasn't. I knew this would happen and-and I can't—" You ramble on and on, Jungkook worried as he tries to decipher what you're saying through your crying.

"Slow down, and tell me what just happened."

"I didn't even get to meet her, Kook. I was on my way when I got a call from the cops saying he was drunk and giving the staff a hard time at Jack's. Shit was torn up, the stools were turned over, flyers ripped off the walls." You mumbled through your cries. "I told them I'd take care of it and handle the damages. Why would he do this? Why would he do this to me?" Kook sighs heavily.

"I'm so sorry, Y/N. I'm sure there's a lot of things going on in his head that can help explain this. And I can help you take care of the damages, it's not a big deal."

"No."

"Stop. Let me help you." He pauses. "Can you text Brandi and just let her know it was an emergency or something? I'm sure she'll understand."

"I'm so humiliated though, like I can't even face her after I stood her up."

"Listen to me. It's not like you meant to. Just text her and explain, she seems like a really nice and understanding person. Don't feel embarrassed. Shit happens."

"You don't get it, bunny." You cried harder, silently, hoping you wouldn't be too loud to wake up Tae. "This was the last chance I had. I-I told Jimin I wouldn't be working on the shop right now. I gave all this shit up for him and I really just can't do this anymore. I've set myself aside to be there for him, only for him to fuck me over in the end. He doesn't realize how much he's been hurting me." You're feeling so many emotions at once that you don't even know if you're making sense. You wanna say so much, but you can't. You wanna get back up on your feet, but you can't.

"It's not gonna be the last chance." He says softly. "You're always welcome to crash with me if you'd like, just to give yourself some space." You sigh, finally able to slow down your crying and regulate your breathing.

"I can't just leave him."

"Y/N. He's gonna have to learn one way or another." Suddenly, you hear some stirring in the room, causing you to frantically wipe your tears and get yourself together.

"I have to go, I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"Okay. Let me know if you need me, I'll be there." You hang up the call and turn your attention to the room when you hear Taehyung give off a small groan. You rush over, seeing him bent over on his knees on the side of the bed, his hands pressed against his face. "You alright?" You ask him softly, already prepping the trash can with a paper bag inserted inside in case he needs to release.

"I don't feel too—" And as you assume correctly, you hold the trash can up to him as he releases, your heart breaking at the sight of him struggling. You were torn - torn between wanting to do everything and wanting to do absolutely nothing at this point. You were spent, you had given him everything and you were left with nothing besides the uncertainty of your relationship and the umpteenth amount of tears you had been shedding.

This wasn't fair to you, and you couldn't let him keep doing this to you.

After he seems to be done being head first into the trash can, you set it aside to clean up later and give his face another good wash up with a warm towel. He seems a bit better and more sober after having vomited, but you get him to go back to sleep while you head into the kitchen to heat up some water and make some tea. You ponder on your thoughts, on your feelings, while waiting for the electric kettle to flip the switch, hinting that the water was done heating. You pour yourself and Tae a cup - green tea for you, while you whipped up some ginger tea with lemon for him. You walk over to the room seeing him asleep, but he slightly opens an eye when he feels your body dip into the edge of the bed.

"Drink this while it's hot." You say as you place the cup on the night stand.

"Thank you, baby." He manages to say raspily. "Stay with me?" You shake your head.

"I need to take care of some stuff outside." And with that, you don't turn to look at him or give him more of your attention before simply walking off. You bite onto your bottom lip as you head back to the kitchen, pulling out your laptop to start organizing the bills and figuring out which ones to pay off first. You almost forgot you had these deadlines to meet.

It's close to 8pm when Taehyung finally gets up and walks out to the kitchen, seeing you still hovering over your laptop. This time though, you had a bowl of ramen ready for him to go, while you had just finished devouring yours. You don't say anything as he comes forward to the kitchen island, but his eyes are locked onto you. You turn to face the sink and start washing your bowl when you feel his arms snake around your hips and his lips pressed against the back of your head. And as much as you wanna sink into his body, you don't.

"Baby, I'm so—"

"Save it." You aggressively throw your spoon down into the sink before turning to face him. "Don't."

"Y/N, please. Just let me explain."

"No, Taehyung. Not anymore. I've heard it way too many times and I'm tired." You say, your eyes starting to water. "I'm so tired. You knew today was the day I had to meet Brandi. Why couldn't you just hold off for a second, Tae? Do I literally have to give up everything for you?"

"Woah, I never said you had to—" You scoff as you cross your arms.

"You didn't have to say it. All this shit you've done, throwing the whole Jimin thing in my face, getting drunk and acting up." You cry. "You don't think I can catch on? I'm not stupid, Taehyung. Don't take me for a fucking dumbass."

"I've been here struggling with my own feelings too okay, Y/N? It's been a fucking shit show for me and I don't think you understand."

"You don't think I understand?!" You yell, appalled at his argument. As much as you didn't wanna play the pointing fingers game, you had no choice but to since Tae didn't seem to get it. He obviously didn't understand you even though he said he did last night, and that's what hits you. "I know you've been struggling and I've been doing my very best to be there every step of the way for you to help support you. I gave up this shit with Jimin and told him to hold off because I knew you were having trouble with it. I fucking went to the school event 10 minutes late and tired out of my goddamn mind, and I just got lucky Dr. Forneo wasn't done with his speech or else I would have been shit out of luck too! And then today, I was on my way to meet Brandi when I got the call that I needed to come get you because you decided trashing Jack's was the perfect way to show how frustrated you've been feeling. Don't tell me I don't fucking understand when I've done it all just to be here for you! I pushed myself aside for you, and quite frankly, I feel like I've just been wasting my life in this relationship." You say harshly, a little taken aback at the words that come out of your mouth, but you have no intentions of bringing it back. He scoffs, tears streaming down his cheeks as he looks at you, expression full of hurt and betrayal.

"If you've been feeling like that, why didn't you tell me sooner so I could have just left you alone? So I wouldn't have wasted all this time for you?"

"I love you so much, and I hate seeing you hurt. I wanted to do everything in my power to help relieve you, help you get rid of this pain you've been feeling, but I've just been hurting myself in the process. You haven't even realized it. I can't do this to myself anymore, Taehyung. I can't." In a quick moment, his expression quickly turns into more hurt and frustration, his brows furrowing as his tears continue to come down.

"Then fucking leave Y/N! Leave, if this shit isn't what you want!" He yells loudly that you're a little startled by his tone.

"You'd just let me go like that?" You ask shakily.

"Go and be like the rest of them, like I give a fuck." He says, sounding exactly like the asshole Taehyung you had dealt with the night of Jin's café party. "You don't know what it's like—" He shakes his head. "To feel so completely useless and unworthy. To have people remind you and throw it in your face constantly how much of a fuck up you really are." He pauses, glaring back at you. "You're just like Hana, you know?" He instantly regrets it the moment it slips, but it's too late for him to take it back. You cry harder at the statement because why in the fuck would he say some dumbass shit like that? You were not her whatsoever. And you'd like to think you've done a hell of a job sticking by him through thick and thin. Not like her.

"Don't ever say that shit to me again. I am not her." You put your foot down. "I know I can't relate but the one thing I do know is that I gave you my everything, and I did nothing but stand by you through thick and thin. As much as I want to do it all, you have to do your part in getting yourself out of this, too. There's only so much I can do for you. Don't tell me you're in this for the long run when you can't even realize that shit. This isn't how you're supposed to treat somebody who loves you, somebody you call your fiancé. This isn't how we get by together. And you know fucking better than that." You spit out, aggressively wiping your tears. "I'm going to stay at Yoongi's until we leave."

"Y/N." He sighs deeply, following you into the room.

"No, don't touch me." You look at him as you break free from his grip. "You said what you said. I'm not doing this shit anymore." You softly cry. "Clearly, we need the space." You began to pile your clothes and necessities into your luggage, removing all attention away from Taehyung.

"Fine." Is all he manages to say before he's grabbing a jacket and heading out of the room. You hear him yell a loud 'fuck!' before glass hits the wall and shatters, followed by the front door slamming shut. You break down onto the ground and cry everything you have left in you. What did this mean for the both of you, you had no idea. After all of this, you still wanted him and you still hoped this would work out. Half of you suddenly didn't want to leave on these terms, but you knew you had to - to give yourself some space and give Taehyung enough space to hopefully learn and snap himself out of it.

But shit, this fucking hurts.

Suddenly you look at your ring and you have no idea what to feel.

By the time you're done packing what you need to pack, you feel so groggy and beat that you can barely make your way to Yoongi's. Your head is pounding and everything around you feels like dull, white noise. Sleep is the only thing on your mind.

"Hey." Yoongi steps aside to let you in. He grabs your luggage from you and sets it aside, following you into his living room space. "You okay?" He asks, knowing damn well you aren't but he figured this is how he could get the conversation started. You simply look at him, silently shake your head and begin to cry into your hands again. You feel Yoongi engulf you in his arms as he sits you down into the couch and brings your body close to his. "I'm so sorry, Y/N. It's gonna be okay. I got you."

"It fucking hurts." You mumble into his chest and he simply nods before slightly pulling away. "He just let me go."

"Let's get you to bed, yeah? You can sleep in mine and I'll stay out here." You nod as you wipe away your tears, Yoongi also doing his best to get rid of the stragglers streaming down your cheeks. He brings your luggage into the room and gives you some space to change and get yourself comfortable. Which, you do, but it takes awhile as your body wants to do absolutely nothing at this point. You shove yourself underneath his covers, a weighted blanket on top providing you with extra warmth. You turn to face the wall, hoping you could fall into a deep sleep soon.

But, you can't, no matter how exhausted you are.

"In here?" You hear Jungkook's voice faintly outside before he gently opens the door. You don't move in your position, even though you've just been blankly staring at the wall. You hear Jungkook gently shut the door before you feel his body weight on the edge of the bed. His fingers are running through your hair, brushing it gently as you continue to stare at the wall. "Y/N."

"Not now, Kook." He sighs.

"I'm worried about you."

"I'll be fine."

"Can I at least do anything for you right now?"

"I just want to sleep." He nods.

"Okay. I'll be hanging out with everyone for a bit outside. Just let me know if you need me." He says, gently caressing your covered arm before heading out of the room. You sighed and closed your eyes once more, hoping you could finally drift off into a deep sleep.

But your thoughts continued to wander to your fiancé and his whereabouts, whether or not he was okay and where he was at. They always wandered to him. It never failed.

And yes, it was the same for Taehyung. It was the same all the time.

He thought about you 24/7, he even thought about you now as he looks down at the notification lighting up on his phone.

The notification that gives him permission to come upstairs to her apartment.

youtube

but when i see you it hurts, when i see you it starts to hurt baby; i can see it in your eyes, I can see the pain in your eyes I'm sorry, tell me baby did it feel right to be with you and at the same time lose myself, my soul is burning out so casually

track four: lie 2 me - fern

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fanonical · 3 years

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i am not trying to die on any hill. your tags on the hp post is literally (to make for you supporting a terf). i am black. i am assuming this blog is ran by whites. support black woman.

also, the ask was literally just “homestuck is hella racist dude. support black people since your supporting a racist antiblack.” essentially a copy of your own tags but on a different issue. nothing about it was aggressive??? no need to speak all condenscingly.

1. don’t call me dude! this is a pretty basic rule i have and also one that most trans women have! don’t fuckin misgender me and maybe i’ll be less pissed off at you, how about that?

2. i’m not mad because you told me Homestuck is racist — there are plenty of things in Homestuck that could and should be criticised as racist. i’m mad because you somehow think that the completely most detached, social justice version of politics is the truth.

3. there is a huge difference between Andrew Hussie and JK Rowling. Andrew Hussie is not a good person, no, and i certainly do not trust their politics, but even breathing their name along side the richest, most famous terf on planet Earth is completely unfair. Andrew Hussie is simply a shitty person who made a webcomic that was popular. JK Rowling is a billionaire who is intentionally trying to strip trans people of our rights. This is not the same at ALL.

4. When you support Harry Potter monetarily, you are supporting the oppression of trans women. That is where that money goes. That is how JKR spends your money. You might not like Andrew Hussie, and I don’t really either, but at least any ad revenue from Homestuck, any money from Homestuck merch or books, that goes to the Homestuck team which is quite notably made of trans people, women, and people of colour.

5. this is partially what i’m talking about in regards to just a social justice version of truth by the way — you simply assume this blog is run by white people. you don’t check any of the places you could find that out, you don’t ask, you don’t check against the other things we’ve said. this blog has three moderators. one of them actually isn’t white! and would really hate to be assumed to be white, ESPECIALLY based on her interests.

6. you aren’t being more woke by calling trans women you don’t like men and comparing an author you don’t like to the biggest proponent of our oppression just to make a point.

7. this whole interaction is super muddy and stupid. like seriously can anons stop acting entitled to my time or energy. like, misgendering me, projecting what race me and my friends are based on our interests... do you think that’s really the appropriate way you to interact with other people? other STRANGERS? who you have never met, and who have entire lives out their own? the “social justice community” has completely ruined your brain, buddy

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supop · 3 years

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Had the grand misfortune of seeing your posts in the BTS tag and I am concerned with amount of rage you have. Yeah, it's normal and alright to have different opinions from others but the way how you state your opinions is dripping with hatred. Idk why you believe that every single Army stupidly ships them with each other - maybe some do it for fun but obviously the ones who are dead serious are delusional. Some "fans" do that with every single group - ship the member with each other as if they can't all just be friends. And why are you shitting on people for having BTS as a source of comfort or whatever? It's better than having Taylor Swift or Justin Beiber or anything other plain ass artist. At least BTS constantly speak up on Mental Health, actually care for their fanbase and provide a lot of content for them. Is that such a crime now???

“Grand Misfortune” that would make a great title for a book or a movie. It’d have to be series or franchise film. “Amount of rage” “dripping with hate” you’re really aiming for the punchlines here anon. Still, it’s nothing I haven’t heard before so check the #boring tag for more responses. I made it specifically for you anons who love grasping at straws.

“Why are you shitting on people for having BTS as a source of comfort or whatever”…. or whatever? You should’ve been more specific anon, but I’ll bite... hold on to your seats and don’t read the rest of this ask if you’re not interested in me shattering the delusional views of BTS or whatever sense of comfort you’re clutching on to.

Also, I hate repeating myself but it has to be said: I’m not here to say things people would like to hear or wouldn’t like to hear. I’m not an unpopular opinions blog. I’m simply here to state my opinions and you’re always free to disagree. Just don’t disagree so callously (especially in my replies or inbox) because I won’t spare your feelings. As for the whole “BTS is my comfort” thing. It’s weird. It’s weird to seek comfort in 7 men you don’t know who all likely have fabricated personas. What’s even weirder is being so invested in their lives. There’s a word for it you know: Parasocial Relationships. I know I just linked an article to Teen Vogue, but the writer did a decent job of highlighting both the positives and negatives. And I didn’t want to link a scientific journal and get too technical on you all.

“It’s better than having Taylor Swift or Justin Bieber”. Is it really though? You only think it’s better because you believe BTS share a “different”message (loving yourself, mental health, vaccinations lol). But what if I told you it was all fabricated? All company-driven narratives and the members are simply puppets on a string in the grand scheme of things? What if I told you everything they’ve ever said or done was for marketing purposes to grow the fanbase and increase company profits?

Okay maybe that’s a stretch, but you’d probably scream blasphemy. “You’re wrong. BigHit or BTS would never do that. They view us as people, not walking cash cows. BTS are genuine. They’re not like other kpop groups and BigHit isn’t like other kpop companies. They’re different. They’re not like other girls. The reason there’s new merch released every week is to provide fans comfort not to increase revenue streams. Bon Voyage and In The Soop are vacations for BTS, not to give ARMYs more ship content and more nonsense to fawn over. BTS care about me so shut your mouth”. Lol, sorry I was only stating some arguments I’ve heard. There’s more but I think that’s enough.

Did you know that back in 2017 BigHit conducted a marketing survey on the fandom to gain a better understating of which direction they should head in with BTS’s overall music and message? Hence, the sudden shift from the rag-tag hip-hop group of guys to the soft “love yourself, love myself” mental health crusade. It wasn’t a coincidence or a sign of “growth” on the members’ part. No. It was all a purposeful, aggressive marketing tactic to garner new fans and build closer bonds in this entire fan economy. And guess what? It worked. Kudos to Bang PD.

Bangtan Sonyeondan: here today, gone tomorrow. I just hope the most talented members are able to jump ship (go solo) before the whole thing actually sinks. A bottle of alcohol would provide you more comfort because at least that’s never going anywhere. Haha jk. All forms of addictions are concerning. Anyway, for the past year+ now HYBE has been investing in ways to ease the burden that BTS and ARMYs are their biggest cash cows (acquiring other groups/companies, real estate, tech acquisitions, all that good stuff). They want to ensure that even after BTS stops promoting the company will be here to stay. It’s not personal, it’s just business. HYBE was able to grow this big thanks to BTS. They were able to go public thanks to BTS. Bang PD is able to do everything he wants to do now all thanks to BTS. Yet what does he give them in return? Less than 2% of ownership in the company, zero official promotions for their mixtapes and solo releases, restricted schedules full of burnout, and most importantly he has created hierarchies between the members, a toxic environment within the fandom, allowing akgaes to run wild. Well at least BTS have earned lots of money from it, and pretty trophies, and chart positions, and get to do what they love (music). Also ARMY loves them and would consume anything with their faces on it, so I guess it’s a win-win….right?

This ask took a turn. I probably could’ve left things at “I think it’s weird to find comfort in 7 men who don’t even know you exist” but where’s the fun in that? :)

***For further insights this individual sums things up well and includes all the nitty-gritty details I was too lazy to add. This post too. Keep in mind I don’t know this person. I’ve never spoken to them in my life. I simply came across their posts on this public platform called Tumblr, so don’t bother sending your hate boners in their direction. xoxo.

Side note: I’m not saying the members don’t actually care about you loving yourself and your mental health. They’re good people. Or at least most of them are. But you’d be a fool to think their company (BigHit) hasn’t played a huge role in the direction of their music, messages to fans, media play, and basically every single piece of content they’ve released since the day of their debut.

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jlf23tumble · 4 years

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Top 10 Niche Interests

Fixations? Obsessions? This is incredibly hard because I have wayyyy too many niche interests, so instead of stressing about it, I tried to channel the 10 things that immediately speak to me and maybe aren't so obvious from what I post here, like how much I'm obsessed with wigs, doll furniture, incredibly specific blogs, all forms of clothing with pockets, swimming pools, whimsical bus stops, over-the-top bathrooms, etc. etc Instead, I opted for some specifics that feel a little more evergreen and long tailed, like, so LIFE-long tailed that it's tough to nail down when or how they became part of the national psyche. I thank @alienfuckeronmain for the initial tag, and I'm tagging her AGAIN for round two because I know she has a billion additional niche things, and she'll post them, and I'll scream because it'll trigger five other things I neglected to post here, and I'll probably post my own round two, arggggh, insert aggressive sighing. Anyway, I tag ANYONE who wants to do it, just tag me so I can see!

1. Indoor Trees

I have no idea why this concept PULLS so hard because houseplants are kind of meh to me, but you want to plant an entire-ass TREE indoors, in the place where you live? Me, too, and I'd add a conversation pit plus a combo gold/red bathroom, among other things, and, bam, we're in my imaginary dream home, which I have literally, constantly ALWAYS mentally constructed from the time I was about six or so. (If you're curious, it has multiple themed rooms, and the closest I've seen to it recently is the outstanding Dita von Teese AD feature, but Amy Sedaris’s apartment comes close, too). There are two (2) 1960s houses in Long Beach with magnificent indoor trees, but I can't find them online, so have this modern interpretation and cry with me about how I can't visit the multi-story fake tree inside Clifton's Cafeteria for a good long while:

2. Conventions of Fans of Any Kind

One thing that I don't think I'll ever lose is how much I *love* people who are fans of SOMETHING, people who have a passion and create something about it or cosplay it or simply gather to celebrate it and connect to other people through it. The Internet provides in all kinds of ways, but I'm talking specifically about IRL conventions and the way my heart pitter pats when I first walk in those doors, SWOON! And it doesn’t matter how big the convention is or how random, I've been to smaller events like CatCon and the My Little Pony convention all the way up to biggies like WonderCon and Comic Con, and I have yet to be disappointed. I might know jack shit about what I'm walking into, but I want to see the merch, hear about the panels, and check out the people who are fucking PUMPED to be there. Sadly, I think it's gonna be a lonnnnng time until these come back, but I can live vicariously through my old photos, sigh:

3. Dutch Wax Fabrics and African Fashion

I'm not the snazziest of dressers, but textiles, colors, and patterns have been an obsession that has soothed my visual soul for as long as I can literally remember. Wax fabric marries all three of those touchpoints, plus throws in a healthy dose of style, and I count myself lucky to have seen two big exhibits on the subject (this was one of them), oh, how I wish there were more! For sure, there's a fucked up underlying colonial/imperialist history here, but there's also humor and color and vibrancy, a reclamation of sorts, and multiple levels of fashion that take my breath away. I cannot do the different patterns justice at all, but the fan motif is one of my faves:

4. Hearst Castle vs. Madonna inn

These two fall into my #home tag because they're where I'm from, and they speak to me as equally sublime and ridiculous, camp and kitsch writ large and small, different (yet similar!) versions of Xanadu that two rich white men built as shrines to their own personal "taste." And the irony is that a lot of people shit on Alex Madonna for being tacky (the Madonna Inn is...uh, something else), yet praise WR Hearst for all the high-class art and architecture, most of which is fully lifted from desperate churches between and after world and yet they're both more or less the same concept (lodging for weary travelers, self-aggrandizement, questionable taste-mixing). Hearst Castle edges out slightly for me because it's bigger and has spectacular scenery and history, plus it gives me doses of LA noir thanks to the way Hearst killed a guy in a jealous Charlie Chaplin-related rage and Hedda Hopper covered it up, all kinds of old Hollywood shenanigans happened up there, etc. But I'm low-key an expert on both houses of the holy, I'm OBSESSED with both, and we can leave it at that. I mean, come on:

5. Snow Globes

I had to cull my personal collection slightly just to fit it all on the dedicated shelf in my bathroom, and I seriously need to refill all the water lines, but nothing beats a snow globe in terms of memorable souvenir, especially when you put it in a bathroom. The majesty!!! The jewel of my collection is the one from Sherwood Forest because WHY NOT celebrate a historic place and moment in the basic way?? He robbed from the rich to give to the poor, and the gift shop about 100 feet from the tree he hid in does the same! The circle of life! The irony of all the watermarks on this blessed image...protect:

6. Highly Specific Museums

Look, we can all agree that the more venerated museums in the world are a form of garbage in terms of what they represent, what they've done, and who runs them, but I'm here for the museums that collect and celebrate things that tend to get overlooked. There are too many to list that I love that are still thriving, so I'm going to say goodbye to four recently departed faves. RIP to the Pez museum, I'm so glad I saw you and purchased your stale candy souvenirs. RIP to the museum of terrible food, you were a pop up when Phoenix and I saw you, and I will forever think about the worker describing people literally vomiting during their visits. RIP to the currywurst museum in Berlin, I've had currywurst exactly once and it was not for me, but I respect the Journey you took me on, including obscure east German TV shows that helped make you so popular (??). Finally, RIP to the velvet painting museum, there's no way to mince words, the person who owned you was crazy AS FUCK and had zero clue how to run a business, but I'm so glad I saw you multiple times and purchased my own velvet treasure (not this exact one, but remarkably similar):

7. Liminal Spaces: Grocery Store Edition

Confession time for those who don't know me all that well, I'm a big time voyeur, and nothing fills my heart with joy like a walk at 7 or 8 pm, the witching hour when people haven't pulled the curtains, and I can scope out their decorations/furnishings without it being "weird." Another confession is how much I unabashedly adore grocery stores in other countries and will spend at least an hour wandering aisle by aisle, falling in love with how much everything is different yet completely the same:

8. Agatha Christie Novels:

As a child, I was a fairly compliant reader--I had to read something for school? Okay! For my mom? Sounds good! But the books that sparked the initial fire for me to read something purely for myself were second-hand (probably fourth- or fifth-hand, judging by cover art) Agatha Christie short story anthologies, which were the gateway drug to full Agatha Christie novels, then other mystery novels, and so on. But getting back to Agatha, I obviously loved all the stories, but every decade spawned incredibly good cover art (like, exceptionally good), and this particular artist's are right up near the top for me (I go back and forth on a lot of the '50s and '60s ones):

9. Scopitones

I link my obsession with scopitones both to my love of music videos in general and a shop in Austin, TX, that sold DVD compilations of them in particular, but either way, they're underappreciated and kitschy all in one! Francoise Hardy and the rest of the ye-ye's are my forever girls for this medium, but seemingly every country cranked them out, both actual set videos and "live" performances? If you don't know what they are, scopitones were machines that played music videos in French cafes in the '60s (??), so it was sort of your proto-MTV way to see your faves sing and dance. Oh, Francoise...so moderne!!

10. Cover Songs

I have so much patience and love for cover songs of any stripe, the more genre-bending and/or surprising, the better! My only minor beef is the trend in slooooooooowing down songs to make a point, but even those ones have a special place in my heart if they're effective. Live Lounge feeds my hunger the best, but my meta fave for representing this concept is Pulp's Bad Cover Version, which was already lyrically INSPIRED, a song about bad cover versions in terms of relationships, but then they did a video that was a visual "bad" cover version, with actors lip synching over an audio "bad" cover version, and all of it just worked? The cover for the single is someone in the band as a boy, making his own bad cover version of a Bowie album cover, it's meta meta meta, and I love love love, here's the video, if you're curious. In the more sublime cover category, I'm absolutely addicted to all of Orville Peck's covers, I truly hope he officially releases them sometime soon, but I wholeheartedly support any artist who does it:

#tag games #niche interests #god i have a few

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azuleif · 6 years

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11 Questions!

I was tagged by @gardenoftulip, @nessajjewell and @rueitae to answer some questions. Thank you all, you made me feel special! 💚💙

Rules:

1.always post the rules

2. Answer the questions given by the person who tagged you

3. Write 11 questions of your own

4. Tag 11 people you want to get to know better

Sorry this got a bit long!

Questions from @gardenoftulip

1. Name 3 things in nature you find the most beautiful? The sky, stars and animals.

2. What's the funniest way you've been injured? I'm clumsy. I could fill an entire post with stupid and funny ways I've gotten hurt! The most recent though, was probably trying to walk across a clear living room floor with a dead leg. I tripped over literally nothing and managed to sprain pretty much everything possible in my ankle! I spent 12 weeks in a walking cast...

3. If you could ask your pet 3 questions, what would they be? Can you please exist? 😂 I don't have a pet, sadly. I would LOVE a cat though.

4. What are your pet peeves? Hmm, tough one. Maybe when people interrupt me for no reason when I'm watching or listening to something. Especially if I have headphones in. Can't you see I'm busy??? I'm 100% the kind of person that aggressively pauses my show until they're done.

5. What's the first thing you ate today? Toast! With marmite on.

6. What makes you laugh? A lot. It's not hard. But puns and bad jokes are especially a huge weakness of mine.

7. Do you have a hidden talent? If so, what? If I do, it must be really well hidden...

8. What's your zodiac sign? Does it fit your personality? I'll be honest, I have no idea about zodiac stuff. It's not something that interests me So I'm afraid I can't answer.

9. What is your favourite holiday? Any holiday that means I can stay home and not interact.... 😂

10. If you have one, who is your celebrity crush? Yoo Kihyun, the main vocalist from the Kpop group Monsta x. I think Jeremy Shada might be getting there too...

11. If you could be a genius at something, what would it be? Anything? Please? Okay seriously though, I'd have to say music. I love music, but I just don't have the skill for it myself.

Questions from @nessajjewell

1. What is your favourite food? My favourite food changes a lot. I guess the only consistent thing is fresh seasonal fruit?

2. place you've always wanted to go? A tour of Asia would be cool. Or France.

3. Favourite show? J-just one??! Voltron Legendary defender has to be my all time favourite, at the moment at least. But I also love shows like Scorpion, marvel's Gifted, miraculous ladybug, full metal alchemist and Teen titans.

4. Single or nah? Single!

5. Video game you last played? Monster Hunter.

6. Can you do a weird talent? Not that I can think of. What would even class as weird?

7. Tennis shoes or sneakers? Uh oh. I uh... what's the difference??

8. Soda or pop? As in fizzy drinks? I don't tend to drink any.

9. Favourite drink? Coffee! I live off the stuff!

10. What is your favourite hobby? Gaming. As much as I love drawing, it does sometimes get stressful, especially if it isn't working out how I want it too. Gaming is my stress relief and always fun~

11. Is there a store you go to frequently? I'm very introverted, and shops are sooooo stressful for me. I do all shopping online if I can! But I make exceptions for certain comic book, game and merch shops.

And finally, questions from @rueitae

1. Movies that had a great impact on you as a child - you know the ones you vividly remember watching as a kid? There are so many! Eldorado, Sinbad, Osmosis Jones and all the pokémon films really come to mind though.

2. What is your occupation? Or what do you want to do as a career? Tell me about it! My actual job is pretty boring, so I'll talk about my dream job instead! I've always wanted to be in game design. I love designing characters, and I would LOVE to be on a team that creates concept art for games.

3. Spinning rides or up and down rides? I get motion sickness really easily... But having said that, I love spinning rides for as long as I can enjoy them without feeling ill.

4. What is the most neat place you've ever visited? Would you live there? I haven't really travelled much, even within my own country. But I've been to Newcastle a few times to visit family, and I do love it there. I don't think I'd live there though, I'm a country girl and I think the city would overwhelm me too much after the novelty wore off.

5. How did you find your current fandom? My uncle watched Voltron before I did, when it first came out. We're really close and have similar tastes so when he got excited about it, I was definetly interested! I kept putting it off though, and it wasn't until I kept seeing it on Tumblr through miraculous blogs I follow that I eventually watched it, only a month or two after my uncle did.

6. What's the hottest wing sauce you've ever eaten? I don't really know, sorry! But I do like spicy food.

7. What's the fic/art you've always wanted to write/draw but haven't gotten to for any reason. Oc? Original story? Tell me all about it! Oooh boy. I am ALWAYS coming up with story ideas. I have an entire universe of stories that I've wanted to write and draw since I was 13! I've got entire timelines and realities planned out, and even every single side character has concept art!

My favourite story of mine at the moment is probably Thieves Heart. It's so much fun to draw! And I love coming up with new ideas for it. I even love the designs I have for my main characters, Kyrad and Chiel, which is a rarity.

Kyrad is a thief because it's his family business.

Chiel is a thief because she loves the thrill of it all.

They keep crossing paths, and while Chiel adores the competition and might have a growing crush on her newfound rival, Kyrad isn't so keen. He'd much rather steal in peace.

He does have his eye on a cute but sassy civilian though, and has no idea she's actually the very same thief stealing all his hauls!

There's so much more I could say, amd although I really want to enthuse about all of my stories, its kind of nerve wracking and I also know that once I start, you literally can't shut me up. I get carried away easily...

I do keep toying with the idea of starting a webtoon, but my own lack of confidence holds me back I think.

8. Comfort food. if there is one snack/meal that is your go to- what is it? Maybe it's a drink? Any kind of hot food including rice, noodles or soup works for me. It could be my mum's chicken soup, it could be instant ramen. It depends a lot on my mood.

9. One person you really look up to as a role model. It's... really hard choosing just one person. I can't choose only one from my family, so I'll have to go for a friend of mine instead. She's a good 10 years older then me, but age doesn't matter. She's such a dear friend and I don't know what I'd do without her! She's helped me through so much. She has a lot of the same issues I have, and seeing how strong and amazing she is really inspires me. She's helped me with my anxiety in such a huge way, and if I could be a fraction of the person she is I'd be so happy. I want to help people like she's helped me through my problems. ❤

10. Favourite colour combination? Maybe pastel blue and silver?

11. What is your favourite outfit? That one clothing combination that makes you feel hip or comfortable or both. Just jeans and my Star Labs hoodie. My hoodie especially is my favourite piece of clothing and is so comfortable, it's baggy, it's soft and warm. I miss it every time it goes in the wash!

Again, thank you so much for this, it's been fun! I'm sorry it got so long.

I'd love to tag some people to answer some of my questions but not only have I spent a little too long on this already, but I'm a nervous wreck when it comes to tagging people So... oh well?

#tagged #about me #i got to gush about a story of mine a little bit!#thank you #11 questions

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