#i'd say pray for me but there's no point in trying anymore

[mamamittens]

Cream of the Crop (+18)

Uh, I don't have any words. This just sort of happened lmao.

Thatch X Reader (undefined gender or appearance)

Warnings: nonpenetrative sex, grinding, gross puns, dirty talk, aggressive foreplay/biting, and sex in a public area (no voyeur or exhibitionism, it's just in the kitchen). Oh! And sir kink I guess.

Word count: 1247

@secretsnailor

The kitchens were quiet, most of the division having finished their assigned chores and turned in for the night. All except for Thatch and… you.

He industriously set aside ingredients for the next day, marking down what he took from a hanging clipboard, as you dried up the last of the dishes. It took a lot to run a crew of this size, let alone feed the many, many, prodigious appetites found within. And yet, it was practically second nature to him, his mind clearly not on meal planning as he meandered his way past counters and slid up behind you. Pompadour brushed back after a long day’s work.

Warm hands wrapped around your hips, a soft brush of lips on your exposed neck as he chuckled. Squeezing briefly before taking the whisk from your hands and hanging it up along the other utensils. Gently nipping until you squirmed, he bit down with his teeth firmly with a smirk. Grasping hands dragging up your shirt and over your ribs, digging into the soft areas he found in soothing motions. He pulled back and pressed his lips over the growing bruise before tucking his chin under yours, forcing your head up as you sucked in a shuddering breath.

“I-I thought—hng—That the kitchen was off limits, Sir.” Your heart was pounding in your chest as you fought against the growing heat on your skin.

Rather than say anything, Thatch chuckled, pressing hot kisses against your jaw as his hands pulled you back firmly against his chest. One hand slipped under fabric to your chest, kneading firmly until he reached your nipple, pinching and twistingly lightly. The other… he slid it over your jeans, pressing along the zipper over your crotch until he was cupping your sex. Gentle rocking motions dragged a soft moan from your lips despite your best effort. And all too soon, he moved that firm pressure over to massage the inseam along your inner thigh, teasingly close.

“My kitchen, my rules.” Thatch breathed across your ear, “So don’t make a mess. Hate to ruin all that hard work getting it clean again.” He squeezed your thigh again, hand brushing over your jeans until he dips his fingertips underneath the waistband.

A hard slap landed on your ass and you jolted.

“Ah--! Y-Yes, sir!” Your voice was meek and pitiful, you were so lost in the pleasure. His hand returned to where it was after a soft squeeze.

“That’s what I like to hear. Good behavior deserves its own reward.”

He bullied his way under the tight fabric, pulling his other hand out from under your shirt to grasp your neck. A gasp was dragged from your lungs as he pinned you against the counter and he took full advantage of it. Tongue sliding over yours as he grunted, sealing your lips in a wet kiss. There was an unmistakable rocking against your ass as he mimicked the motions with his tongue and slick fingers.

Heat coiled under your skin as you grew dizzy, reaching up to pull his hair for even a moment of reprieve. Thatch groaned, almost slamming his hips against yours as he was forced to pull his head back. He looked fucked and hungry for more. Grinning with a toothy smile, he pinched at the delicate skin he’d been toying with before diving down to swallow the broken cry like a starved man. With an almost cruel show of force, he wedged his legs between yours, grinding his hand into the growing wetness until you started to shake.

With your hips still pinned, he let go of your neck to pull one of your knees up onto the counter, feet no longer touching the floor. His chest forcing you to bend over until your head was hanging into the empty sink. Keeping you pinned in that open and vulnerable position, he nipped and bruised more of your skin along your shoulder and neck. The cold metal almost burning your skin, even through fabric.

“T-Thatch! Ah—hahnn—p-please!” Your voice was strained and loud, echoing against the sides of the sink as it was amplified. With his new angle, he showed just as much mercy as he had before—none.

Palm grinding over your pubic bone as his fingers stroked and slipped over your skin. A button broke from your jeans, zipper forced down as Thatch suddenly had more room to tease you. And he abused that power too, your free leg knocking against the counter as your body began to seize with hot pleasure. The sound of both of your panting echoing in your ears, each groan and whimper overpowering.

“A-Almost there, honey, I’m right here.” Thatch hissed, shoving down your pants and his, growling in frustration when he had to move your legs to get enough room. “Gotta feel you closer. Always a good fuck for me, aren’t you? Soft and wet and ready.” Clearly, he preferred the previous position, wasting no time as he shoved you head down to keep you in place, jeans falling to the floor. Once he managed that, he lifted your hips up, pinning you higher onto the counter—and lower into the sink.

His cock slid between your thighs, grinding up against you as he pinned your leg back on the counter again. Teeth clamped down onto your neck as he groaned, free hand setting another ruthless pace.

When you started to shake again, he didn’t stop.

He went faster.

Cock almost sliding in, you were both so wet, you bucked against his hold involuntarily. His grip was almost as bruising as his lips when you came with a voiceless scream, not stopping even when your eyes watered with overstimulation.

Pulling your hair back for another kiss, he shoved his dick back to slip between your cheeks, spilling over the back of your shirt and exposed skin rather than the clean—well, mostly clean—counter. His pleased groan muffled.

Gently, he bucked against you for several long moments, hand now gently stroking your sex. Praises rained down on your assaulted skin.

“So good for me, honey. Always so sweet.” Thatch whispered, stroking your hips and pressing apologetic kisses on your shoulder, “Could fuck you for hours and you’d let me, wouldn’t you, sugar?”

“Y-Yeah…” You couldn’t help but moan.

He gave you a wicked grin.

“Shall we test that, honey?” Thatch asked, helping you dress for the walk back to your shared quarters.

You could barely walk. Your knees still shaking.

But you couldn’t wait for more.

“Please.” Thatch smiled, pleased at your reaction as he lead you two out of the kitchen after a quick once over.

When you were safely in his room, he pulled you to the side of his bed and sat down, gesturing to the floor. You slid to your knees and looked up at him as he pulled off his shirt.

He looked down so sweetly at you as he gently rubbed your head.

And then pressed it against his crotch.

“Prove it to me. Prove to me you’re ready for a proper fuck.” He smiled indulgently down at you, the light casting him in darkness as you reached for his zipper.

“Can I lick the cream?” Thatch nodded, lifting his hips for you as he laughed at the inuendo.

“Of course. Only the best for my good, obedient, honey.” Thatch promised, eagerly waiting to see how good you really were.

For your commander?

Only the best.

What started it all, lmao.

I'll continue this if there's enough interest lmao 🤭

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for ditching a long-term friend?

I (35F) had a friend (S, 33F) for years. We bonded the first night we met. We had ups an downs, and went everywhere together. I helped her kick her bf out after he tried to hit her and helped her through two miscarriages. She helped me through a family member death and a career change. We would speak almost every day, for hours.

She was always slightly more conservative than me. When 2016 rolled around, she supported Trump. I didn't like that, but it wasn't my place to bitch about it to her, it was her decision.

By 2020, she'd changed. Idk how it happened but she went from slightly conservative Christian who loved school and being a nurse and had friends who were LGBT+ (myself included), to deadnaming trans patients, refusing to do a blood draw on a patient after she said it was a prerequisite for an abortion, forcing patients to pray with her, even when they and their families spoke out against it, and bugging her coworkers to pray with her. She got fired from the hospital and was completely unable to hold down a job after that, and went through about 6 jobs that year, getting fired from them all. She got with a guy (B, 32M) and he is a... Well, he is a damn nut. Flat earther, antivaxxer, anti- Department of Education, anti-cell phone, thought bluetooth was turning kids trans, and that covid is 100% a hoax. Absolutely bonkers. But she was smitten, so I supported her, barely.

It's important to note that I backed away from her a bit after she was fired from the hospital. We were only speaking once every few weeks at that point.

Shortly after she got with B, my nephew was born. My nephew is half Mexican, half white. She called him "cute for a half n*g" because she thought my SIL is black. This blew me away because she's half Mexican. I told her off and distanced myself even further.

In 2021, she was a huge supporter of Jan 6th. She LAUGHED when that one cop killed himself. I stopped talking to her completely after that. Deleted her contact info and forgot she existed for almost 2 years.

Cut to October of this year, and she calls me. I didn't recognize her #. She and B are getting married! And she wants me to be a bridesmaid!!! Yayy! (sarcasm). She told me a long-winded variation of "I know we haven't talked for a bit but I promise I'm not as bonkers as I was, I think I let Facebook suck me in, and I'm sorry."

So, I let her back in. Not emotionally, mind you. She's not the woman I once knew anymore. I don't tell her where our house is (my partner and I moved while S and I weren't speaking), and I didn't tell her what car I drove. I didn't tell her anything about our lives, and kept the conversation solely on her, to try and read her out a bit.

Sure enough, two conversations in she starts ranting about how black people are black because they received the mark of Cain (it's a Christian thing? I guess? Idk I'm not religious) and thus should be avoided because they are inherently "up to no good," and that systemic racism doesn't exist because the US has had a black president.

I roll my eyes, hang up the phone, block her number, and end it, permanently, right there. I received a few odd texts from a number I didn't recognize, probably B's phone, so I just blocked that number and deleted them without reading most of them.

Cue our mutual friends. 🙄

She misses you! People can have differing opinions and still be friends! Why are you being so closed minded? She told us you yelled at her! 😭😭😭

Lol. I didn't say a word, but whatever.

I'd rather adjust my life to her absence than adjust my morality to her ignorance.

My partner is on my side, they saw her change, too. But our mutual friends are still upset. I shared some the racist and sexist text convos between me and S, and it's like they hadn't even considered my side of the situation. One is on my side now, the other two are still questioning how I can throw away a 6 year friendship over "differing politics."

So, Tumblr, AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[freakshowtwopointoh]

Marie ducks out of the gala, praying that no one will try to stop her. She can feel Cate's eyes on her, Emma's eyes, Jordan's eyes.

Did they tell the others about their past? Did they even care? The way they treated her in Brink's office, it was like they had no memory of her. Then the club, Luke, outside the crimefighting building, the interview... a collection of charged and confusing conversations. Never a confirmation that they even remembered her, but there was so much emotion in everything they said to her.

Maybe they thought she didn't remember...

But she remembers. She remembers everything. The games they'd play, the secrets they'd shared, the late-night playstation tournaments...

Her first crush, her first kiss. Of course she hadn't forgotten, how could she.

But she moved away. And then her life became a horror movie. And even if she'd been allowed to contact anyone, what do you say to your best friend after you've done the unimaginable?

So when she walked in and saw them at the desk for Brink's office, what was she supposed to say?

"Remember me, I'm the weird kid you were friends with until she moved away and vanished, who kissed you in her sister's princess tent in the backyard? Also, I found out I'm a supe and my schedule's fucked."

Yeah, no. That doesn't really work. So she played a bit dumb. But now... she sees Jordan leaning up against the side of the building, watching her.

She sucked in a breath through her teeth.

"I'm not in the mood, Jordan. You can attack me in the morning." She rolled her eyes, and attempted to walk away.

"I'm surprised you can walk straight, with everyone's tongue lodged up your ass."

"You don't know shit about me anymore, Li, so shut the fuck up." And she tried to keep walking away.

"So you do remember me." God fucking dammit. "And I do know you, and I know your type. Brown-noser. One-upper. Mommy and Daddy's perfect little hero." The words stopped her in her tracks. She spun on her heel.

"Yeah, well that's definitely not me. Because my parents are dead. Because I killed them." The words fell from her lips before she could stop them.

"Bullshit." They say, but they don't sound like they mean it.

"That answers a whole lot of your questions, now doesn't it?" She snapped. "Questions that I could've fucking answered, if you'd ever bothered to ask. It was just a few months after I moved. I... I had my first period, my mom came in and.... and the blood sliced right through her neck. Dad came in, same deal. Annab-" Her voice broke. She took a deep breath. "After that, I was sent to a facility called Red River. I didn't really have the option to email or anything for.... awhile. Happy now?" She was ready to storm off, but Jordan placed something cold in her hand. A flask.

"I always thought you just... forgot about me. And when I saw your name in the pile of incoming students, it wasn't hard to invent all sorts of reasons why you'd lie to me. And then... well..."

"Shit got complicated real fast." She said simply, after swallowing a gulp of the lukewarm rum in their flask. "I.... wasn't sure what to say when I saw you in the office that first day."

"You're telling me! I'd spent like 5 years being pissed at you and missing you at the same time, then all of a sudden you waltz into my office, demanding I un-reject you from his class, and at that point, I still didn't even know what your powers were." They laugh.

Marie looked at them, taking in their straight bob, their big brown eyes, their chiming laugh. God, she'd missed them so much. She'd missed her best friend more than she even understood until this very moment. They missed out on so much - so many late night chats and lazy weekends and... her eyes flicked to their lips. And before she's even registered what she's doing, her hand is on Jordan's cheek and she's pulling them in, and kissing them. Pouring years of pining, missing, loving, hating, everything, into this kiss under the moonlight.

When they pull away, there's a look she can't read in their eyes.

"I'm not sure what I was expecting, but it wasn't that." They said. And then their hands are on her hips and they're kissing again and everything is magical and beautiful and perfect and there are no words needed. And then someone coughs behind them.

"Uh, guys? I fucked up." Andre and Cate are standing there awkwardly.

~ au idea by @mariejordans

[dandylovesturtles]

@theplacewhereidumpmyinterests I can't talk about most of them because they're part of an AU verse I want to keep secret until I have the first fic that's part of it written, and idk when that will be (by summer?? HOPEFULLY??), but I guess I can talk about the other one because idk if/when I will write a fic for him (I'd like to but like I am only human)

"more AUs Dandy?" LISTEN all I do is sit around and think about "what if"s, okay?

ok so this started as me being like, hm, we see Lou Jitsu with a rotating door of women, so many he doesn't seem to remember all their names, so it's not totally out there to think he might have gotten one of them pregnant, right?

and thus Marcus (middle name Kyle) was born! literally!

so the story for this is, Lou Jitsu had a fling with a woman in the early 90s, pre-Big Mama. they were both in agreement that the whole thing was casual and it didn't last very long, but oopsie-daisy about six weeks after their last night together she finds out she's pregnant.

she debates what to do for a bit, because, as established, Lou Jitsu is kinda a fuckboi and she doesn't really want a relationship with him. But once she decides she's definitely keeping the baby she feels like she can't just not tell him, right? so she tries!

...unfortunately he's dating Big Mama by that point and she interferes to make sure that Lou Jitsu never meets with the woman and never finds out, because she knows this would get in the way of her plans.

she takes never hearing back from LJ as a sign he just isn't interested in the kid and resolves to single-motherhood. which she is the best at, btw.

she's still considering trying to introduce Marcus to his dad at some point, but unfortunately her kid isn't even 5 before Lou Jitsu suddenly goes missing, with his teary fiancée telling a sob story to the cops. assuming, same as everyone else, that he's dead, she lets the whole thing go, though she does tell Marcus who his dad is once he's old enough to understand everything.

Marcus goes through periods of being obsessed with Lou Jitsu, watching all his movies and consuming every piece of media about him that he can find, and periods where he can't stand to even hear the name. it's up and down. from his perspective, LJ abandoned him and his mom, but he's also dead, so it's not like he can have closure on this ever, right? so it's just a thing he has to deal with on his own.

but he's fine! he's alright. he gets through high school, then college, then accepted into vet school just fine.

then... his mom gets sick and dies.

yeah, that's a hard blow.

but he's alright! he has a few buddies from college he still sees now and then, and he's started his zoo vet residency at the Bronx Zoo (with a particularly special interest in reptiles), so lots of new people to meet that way! he's doing great! he's not lonely at all!

(a few months ago, he was suddenly woken up by a surge of something, like dozens of voices were crying out to him for help, tugging him toward something, saying his family needs him...

yeah, no idea what that was about. he doesn't have any family anymore.)

then the sky opens up and aliens come out.

Marcus is at work, because of course aliens would attack at the beginning of his shift. he spends the day ushering survivors into safe zones within the zoo, using his medical knowledge to handle first aid, and just trying to stay sane as the whole world turns upside down.

and then just as suddenly as it all started... it stops.

in the aftermath, everyone around him is just trying to get home, desperately calling their loved ones and praying for the best. Marcus starts trying to figure out how he's going to get home, because the trains definitely aren't running, and as he looks as his phone for a spark of inspiration, he realizes... no one has tried to call him. his coworkers' phones have been going off all day, whenever they can get signal, as loved ones try to reach them, but... he doesn't have anyone trying to reach him. and as he sits there he realizes he doesn't know who he should be calling, either.

so. that's pretty depressing.

and as he's sitting there, thinking about his life and what led him here, in a now empty vet clinic outside the bronx zoo... he hears a noise. and then, voices.

ah great. looters.

at first, Marcus tries to call 911 - but obviously the call center is swamped. so he decides to take care of the problem himself, going to see who's there and get rid of them...

wait, who is he kidding? he's definitely not paid enough to confront potentially armed looters! he's going to get out of here.

but just as he starts to leave, he hears the voices again - coming from one of the surgery rooms this time. and they're talking about IVs... scalpels... anesthesia...

suddenly he realizes that these aren't looters - they're here to try and treat somebody.

and like hell is he going to let some idiot kill someone trying to do DIY surgery.

so he turns back around and bursts into the room... on two humans, a rat that counts as giant even for New York, and four very big, very injured turtles.

one of whom immediately points a gun in his face. to be fair, that's what he thought would happen.

"Donnie!" yells the biggest one, and, oh, they can talk. huh.

"Relax, it's just a tranquilizer!"

"Donatello!" that's the rat. there's a sound like a whip cracking and the one with the gun makes a startled noise and drops it.

now the rat is in front of him. he's looking up at Marcus imploringly. "Do you work here?" he asks.

"Y-yeah. I'm a vet."

the rat bows very politely. "my sons are seriously hurt, and I don't have the supplies to help them at home. I understand it is a lot to ask, but... we must use your supplies. please, if you could just look the other way."

Marcus looks around at the turtles, especially the one on the table, the one worst off. he looks mangled. he won't live long if he isn't properly treated.

a rat, two humans who look like teenagers, and the turtles. who the rat called "sons". now that he's noticing, they're all pretty short, other than the big one. are they also teenagers?

"...Are any of you doctors?" he asks. the littlest one starts to raise a hand, but the girl grabs it and forces it back down.

everyone else has left by now. he's the only doctor here.

alright. guess he's doing this.

"...okay, everyone make some room. let me get sterilized, and I'll see what we're working with here."

and that's how the son Lou Jitsu didn't know he had becomes primary care doctor to his teenage mutant ninja half-brothers. ^^

(and then a bunch of other stuff happens)

[flightyalrighty]

I have a faint memory of you saying Infested is based on a Shadow AI chat… BIG BIG FEAR IF WE REACHED THAT POINT

Originally yes, as much as it pains me to admit it, that's where the story came from. It was definitely more like me messing around with the thing about a year ago, writing most of the story, and dragging the AI Shadow around said-story and praying he sounds vaguely like himself while trying to write around him. I don't use Character.ai anymore and never will again. I encourage others to also not use Character.ai.

So yes, I've decided against using AI!Shadow's actual answers to dictate what he does in the comic. I'd rather write a good story than a gimmick-y one -- Especially when that gimmick involves AI.

So, no need to fear. Shadow's gonna sound and act as natural as he already does in future chapters. I'm putting a lot of thought and care into the creation of this thing. :)

[fireemblems24]

Azure Gleam 15 (Final)

As long as this has gone on for, I'm actually bummed to finish this one.

NARRATION

Those special chapters were so weird. It's kind of funny how the plot is like, just ignoring all of that and going back to regular programming. It's like in an old kid's show when they got a dog and then the next episode - no dog anymore. Like there's kinda no point to it.

Ok, so Thales talking to yeeted Edelgard. I will never not get over how funny it is that's the path the writers decided.

Yep, we're really just jumping back into the regular plot. That is so funny. The writing in this game is a clusterfuck at times.

Ok, so we're going to the monastery to save Rhea. MUCH better than saving Bernie's dad.

TWSITD causing chaos again. I feel this route targeted them more than the other two. Like they barely existed in GW.

Everyone's worried about Rhea.

Dimitri wants to wreck TWSITD and the Empire. Let's fucking go!

MAP

No side quests again! Guys, I'm sooooo close to beating this game I can taste it. Both SB and AG have very short final chapters.

Only Claude is annoying, which tracks how this game's gone so . . .

So I've gotten all the supports for: Dimitri, Dedue, Felix, Sylvain, Ingrid, and Rodrigue. Mercedes I'm only missing Jeritza. I didn't use Annette or Ashe, so they're missing a few, but I feel I did pretty good. Hopefully I can get Mercie and Jeritza this chapter.

Ugh, so I missed the opportunity to deepen my bond with Byleth :( Maybe next time.

So in another route, Ashe had no idea what he believed in anymore. In this one, he's confident about his sense of justice.

In another route, Yuri didn't tell me his history with Varley, in this one he trusted me with it.

Ingrid is a queen. She said it's the people who suffer in war, our leaders should reach diplomatic resolutions. Too bad only Dimitri believes in those :(

Aww, Byleth refused to kill Shez during their fight because he could tell she wasn't herself. I soooo wish I'd gotten their supports.

Ok, so I ran into Raphael again and agreed that I didn't like how we were fighting (which, imo, isn't true, but I wanted to see the difference). Shez thinks Edelgard is too cruel, Claude is too haphazard, and Dimitri is too cautious. She pretty much nailed it.

No Arval in the tent :(

Linhardt just said Caspar revels in bloodshed. That's fucked up.

My heart just broke and warmed at the same time. A Kingdom general asked a Duscur general how the people from Duscur pray. He wanted to learn because he lost a lot of good soldiers from Duscur in the last battle and wanted to pray for them in the way their religion would. It's details like this that make Hopes worth it.

Haha, Dedue was fairly chill considering I attacked allies and posed a possible threat to Dimitri. He brought it up, but didn't harp on it.

BYLETH & JERALT A

Man, I'm glad I got this unlocked in time.

Byleth gave Jeralt flowers. First time in Byleth's life lol.

He's trying to communicate his feelings, thankfulness to Jeralt for being his captain and father.

Aw, it's a throwback to Byleth giving out flowers at the Academy.

Lamo, Jeralt just said Byleth may have been a student or led seminars, but isn't qualified to be a teacher.

Jeralt's like, I knew you cared, kid. But I still appreciate it.

Byleth picked the flowers out himself. It's the same kind his mother liked :(((

Jeralt used to give these flowers to Sitri.

Byleth is being so sentimental and sweet. I can just imagine a voiced Byleth saying lines like that in Houses' supports and buying more into the character.

I swear, this game made me really get Byleth more and "buy into" the character. Also, I'm going to cry so hard when Jeralt dies. I still don't really care for Jeralt, but I'm going to just feel so sad for Byleth.

DIMITRI & DEDUE A

For anyone wondering, I purposefully saved this one and Felix A. I've had them unlocked for a while.

Dedue is worried because Dimitri keeps sleeping at his desk. He's grateful or else he'd get sore.

Of course, he had bad dreams about the past.

Ohhhh! Not the tragedy, but arriving home after. Cool to learn some tidbits about that part too.

A child cursed Dimitri after the funeral because his dad died in Duscur and was furious with Dimitri for not killing Dedue, but hanging out with him instead.

Dimitri just ignored him.

Then Dimitri talks about his duty to those who died, and asks Dedue what he would do if Dimitri begged for vengeance while he was dying. OFC, Dedue says he'd do it even if he died.

Then Dimitri asks the opposite, what would Dedue do if Dimitri begged him to live for his own happiness? Dedue said he couldn't.

"I cannot know happiness without you by my side." :(((((((

He'd seek revenge, for his own sake, not Dimitri's.

Dimitri's like, nothing I'd say would change your mind?

Dedue just flips the subject, asking if Dimitri can't just live for himself, and ofc Dimitri says no, he can't.

But imagines another life traveling around as a merc with Dedue or living as a farmer. Dedue's like, why not go?

Dimitri says obviously I can't do that.

So Dedue's like get some sleep.

It worries Dedue every time he sees Dimitri asleep like that at his desk bc he's worried Dimitri died. But Dimitri's like, not why you're here. It won't happen.

Dimitri's like, if I died, that wouldn't go well, so I'll listen.

GUYS. DIMITRI'S GOING TO SLEEP. SOMEONE TALKED HIM INTO SLEEPING. THE POWER OF DEDUE.

They're married, your honor.

DIMITRI & FELIX A

Starts with Dimitri apologizing and promising revenge, killing all of TWSITD no matter the cost.

Felix walks in, Dimitri almost calls him Glenn, but corrects, and apologizes again except to Felix for seeing that.

Felix is like "I've seen all there is of you to see." So, uh, what does that mean?

Dimitri explains that he suffers from a "waking dream," saying he sees the dead like they're real.

Then talks about the violent revenge the dead scream at him.

Felix asks when this all started. Dimitri says 6 years, but the voices started 4 years ago during his first battle? Not sure those numbers line up with lore and age, but I don't know how old they are this time. Anyways, started with Duscur, got worse when Rufus tried to have Dimitri killed by sending him to battle.

The man he killed that freaked Felix out was someone from Duscur, and the voices cheered when he killed the guy.

Felix is like, do you really think Glenn and Lambert would torture you like that? Telling Dimitri he's the one doing it, not them.

Dimitri's like, even if that's true, I can't forgive myself.

Felix talks about how if Dimitri loses his path, he's taking everyone down with him (so Houses, sans AM) and says "keep the whole removing their heads thing in check yeah?"

Felix says it'll be their secret.

"are you offering to let me unburden my heart to you when the time calls for it?" - Dimitri to Felix. Guys, I'm dying a little.

Dimitri credits Felix with the reason he hasn't descended into madness, and asks Felix to continue being his right-hand man.

Hahahah, OMG, Felix picked Dimitri up and is physically carrying him to bed. Dimitri is nearly laughing because he's so much taller than Felix his feet are dragging the floor.

Felix calls him a "sack of muscle" lol

Dimitri carried Felix like this when Felix twisted his ankle. And now is calling this a workout. Dimitri's still massively entertained.

They are also married.

Man, so Dedue got Dimitri to fucking sleep, and Felix got him to laugh.

Ok, this game is really Dimilix, the game. I swear a shipper on deck wrote this. It may also be why Felix was one of the few Blue Lions to survive SB. Writers' bias.

My shipping heart is so happy with both supports.

ASHE & FLAYN B

This is their final support.

They're fishing together. She's trying to reel in a big fish, but it's not working. Ashe gives her tips. And she got it!

Though, it seems like it was a bit of a struggle.

Flayn swore she'd not let go no matter what. Ashe says sometimes it's best to not let go, and suddenly understands Seteth. But still compliments her on her determination.

Flayn thinks her mother would be proud of her for catching this, which is part of the reason Flayn loves fishing.

She flirts with Ashe a bit too lol.

And now she's drooling over the fish.

Ashe says Flayn enjoys him of his sister and really had fun.

But then panics thinking of Flayn in the kitchen lol.

ANNETTE & CONSTANCE B

Constance compliments Annette's performance in battle.

Constance is a legendary alumni at the school in Faerghus.

Stories include turning bossy noble kids into horses. And she started using it everywhere.

She argued magical theory with teachers and won.

These make me love Constance, not going to lie.

Annette is nervous being around someone so famous. Constance calls Annette one of the most talented women in the Kingdom.

Constance loves a book Annette work, but it's mostly a cook book, so Annette doesn't make much of it.

Annette wrote a magical cookbook, and Constance is all about it.

Annette tries to give Mercedes credit because she's the cook.

They both want to get to know each other better.

This was really them geeking out over each other, magic, and Mercedes' cooking.

MERCEDES & JERITZA A

It came down to the lack fucking minute, but I got it. Thank you, Shez, for cooking the perfect dinner.

Jeritza finds and old letter from Mercedes' mother. Or, rather, she wrote Jeritza a letter after Mercie told her that they found him.

They both want to live with him after the war, but he says no.

He can't face her because of his past actions. Doesn't seem Mercie holds it against him. And says neither will her mother.

Then Jeritza talks about the Death Knight persona.

Mercie's like, naw, because you're fine right now.

Jeritza still doesn't give in though. He insists he must pay for his crimes, which he thinks he never can. He wants to get judged by the law, which, honestly, respect.

Mercie decides to support his decisions, even though it makes her sad, and that they'll be waiting for him. No matter how long. Even if they're both old ladies.

I really loved that support. Seeing Mercie support Jeritza's decision, seeing Jeritza take responsibility for his actions. All around good support.

ANNETTE & CONSTANCE A

Glad I got this one. I think Seteth/Shez A is the only other support still within reach.

Constance wants Annette's help conducting an experiment outside. Annette knows how Constance's mood changes when she goes outside. Annette's happy to help.

Obviously now Constance is being down on herself.

Annette volunteered before learning the experiment. Thankfully it's just to try and get all the cats from the area.

It fails :( I want a spell like that.

Constance is obviously moping, Annette gives her a pep talk, but it probably useless bc they're outside.

It attracted bugs, and Constance says the cockroach is a better sorceresses than her lamo. Then they attract angry birds lol.

Once back inside, Constance realizes her spell does sort of work, but they just didn't know how to get cats.

Aww, I really liked that support chain.

FINAL BATTLE

How can anyone not tell something is wrong with Edelgard?

It's so weird how they just ignore the special chapters.

Thales is making her fight.

Sylvain said he'll skip the class reunion if this is what they're like.

Ingrid is roaring to go after Thales.

No sign of Claude. Dimitri's trusting him, but I don't know about that. I wonder if he betrays you here too. Though Dimitri makes a good point that if Faerghus falls, Claude's ass is next.

On, cool image! Dimitri giving a speech. It's like a moment in Lord of the Rings before Aragorn and co march on Mordor.

I like this! Dimitri's talking about severing the past and moving on into tomorrow. Good to hear him talking like that.

I only got 40 points too. Guess Claude was the odd one out, getting more points for his battle than the other two.

Kyrona made an appearance.

Felt good to kill Varley for once.

Getting ready to face Thales now. Dimitri about to get his revenge against TWSITD. Feels good.

Shez is reassuring Dimitri that he's not alone. That his friends are here to help. :)

I think I just killed Kyrona for good this time.

Time to kick Thales' ass. Much better than killing Rhea. Again.

We also got to defeat Edelgard. Having a hard time feeling bad about that.

This battle is pure chaos. But in a fun way.

Oh, did I beat Thales? I'm at a cut scene. Shez stopped Edelgard; and Dimitri's marching to kick Thales' ass.

Haha, he just ignored Thales magic like it was nothing. What a fucking badass.

He's not even saying anything, just breathing, and the voice acting is still on point.

Edelgard remembered Dimitri? So he didn't kill her. And outside Rhea, Claude and the Blue Lions are waiting. And sun is about to come up.

This felt WAY more complete than the other two. I was expecting MUCH worse. Maybe if I played the other two first I'd be more surprised, but they set the bar stupid low.

We defeated the Empire, defeated TWSITD - I don't know what would even be left?

I love how hard the narration tries to make it sound like the Empire has a fart's chance in the wind anymore. It's just clean up now.

MVP time. It'll eventually turn into the Dimitri show like SB did Hubert and GW did Lorenz. I suspect it'll take longer though bc I wanted to use the other Blue Lions a lot.

Actually, I lie, it happened like the second I got Dimitri and not just Shez. I think I may just be a stan lol. He's also just so damn strong he killed so much easier and faster than anyone else.

You can tell the chapter Dimitri was missing for since Felix and Ingrid kept trading MVP. Then back to Dimitri.

Hey! Rodrigue got one!

I'm excited for Dimitri's letter. Still wish we got paired endings here though.

Dimitri feels reassured with Shez by his side. He's also the only one who asked Shez to stay in the Kingdom. It's nothing spectacular, but it was sweet.

I'm also a bit sad to see this one end. No more Fodlan unless I replay, but I guess there's still supports I didn't unlock.

Guys, I can't believe I finished. Now I'm finally "free" to play whatever games I want.

Def want to replay Engage and Houses, and some non-FE stuff too. Should I get the Engage DLC?

xxx

[kining-the-evil]

Revenge

/Summary/: Tatum Riley was always a daddy's girl. She did everything with him, rode in his patrol car, movie nights every week, and when her parents separated she didn't even think about staying with her mom. Her dad was her whole life and when he was murdered she felt like she lost everything.

Tatum tried to move one. She goes out with Chad and moves to New York for college, but nothing feels the same. When she meets chads roommate Ethan, something is awakened in her and she decides there is only one thing that will let her move forward

An: this isn’t an x reader fic, it is my oc Tatum Riley. She’s Dewey and Gales daughter. If you don’t like OC’s don’t read it. This was also posted to my wattpad

Warnings: Cheating, murder, sex, death, psycho!OC , sort of Yandere!OC, Ethan x OC, ghostface!oc

"Where is he?”

I wasn't sure who I was asking as a crowd of people blocked my view of the hospital. I'd known my dad was trying to help Tara and her sister, but when I saw multiple police cars racing towards the hospital I got an awful feeling in my stomach.

I pushed past the few people on front of me until I was at the front of the crowd. Police were surrounding the entrance to the large building, and I could see Tara and Sam standing with aunt Sidney and my mom.

"Ma'am, you can't-" someone tried to stop me but I just shoved them roughly out of the way and started running towards them. Sidney was the first one to notice me.

"Tatum!" My mom turned when Sidney called my name and took a step towards me while Sam and Tara looked away.

"Where is he?" I demanded as I go to them, ignoring my mom and aunt as I looked at Tara and Sam. "He came here with you guys, where is he?"

"Tatum, sweetheart-" my mom reached out to touch me but I shrugged her hold off

"Where is he?!"

"We tried to stop him..." Sam finally said, and I felt my blood run cold. I happened to glance over at the entrance of the building as two paramedics were rolling out a body bag.

"Tatum, don't-" my mom started to say as she tried to grab me but I dodged her arms and started running towards them.

"Stop her!" Someone yelled but I wasn't sure who, I just kept running. When I got there one of the paramedics moved forwards and wrapped his arms around me to pull me away.

"No! Please! I need to see if it's him!" I cried as I tried to fight the man's hold on me. Tears were streaming down my face as I knew who was in the bag, but it didn't stop me from praying it was someone else. That my dad would walk out of the building in a second, hurt, but ultimately okay.

The two paramedics looked at each other before one reached up to unzip the bag slightly, and I froze when I saw the face staring up at me. His eyes were empty and face was blank, but it was him. More tears fell from my eyes as I just stood there and stared at him. After a moment the man's arms disappeared, and a woman's replaced them.

"Tatum..." My mom's voice spoke, and I just started crying harder. I cried because her arms felt wrong around me, she was never the one to comfort me. She wasn't the one who held me when I fell of my bike, or when watched a scary movie at a friends house and couldn't sleep because I was scared that night,or when a boy broke my heart. It was always my dad's, and he'd never hold me like that again. He was gone.

•••••••

My eyes snapped open as the dream, or memory, faded, and I started to wake up. I'd had that dream more times then I could count, so often that at this point I didn't cry when I woke anymore. I just accepted it and continued with my day.

As I laid in bed I glanced around the room. If you walked in you'd never think someone lived in the small one bedroom apartment. There were no decorations or photos besides the small photo of me and my dad on my nightstand. My clothes and belonging were still in the boxes I'd brought with me to New York almost a year ago. I never bother to unpack when my mom rented the place for me. She originally wanted me to have 'my own safe place' instead of living on campus, and the place is close to where she works, but I was sure she'd stop paying the bills on it after the fight we'd gotten into only a month after I moved in.

•••••••

"What the fuck is this?" My mom glanced up when she saw me storm into her home office, and she quickly stood up to greet me.

"What are you talking about? And watch your language." Normally I'd say something about being 18 and being able to say whatever the fuck I wanted, but I was to angry to care about that in the moment.

"This!" I yelled as I held my phone up to her. On it was an article I'd found of an interview she'd given only days ago. The title? 'Gale Weathers announces new book based on last year's murders.'

"That's an interview I did, what about it?"

"You're writing a book about the people who killed dad!"

"What about it? People want to know what happened, and at least I can provide the facts-"

"You don't know the facts! You weren't even there for most of it! You just showed up at the end to see all the drama-"

"I showed up because your dad told me your friends were being attacked and you weren't picking up my calls. I was worried about you." She tried to correct me but I just rolled my eyes. "I will be respectful of what happened and of your dad-"

"Like you were so respectful of this who died the first time." I snapped. "You were so respectful that you sold the book to be a movie, which is the only reason they killed dad. You're the reason my dads dead!"

My moms eyes widened at my words, but I didn't have it in me to care. These thoughts had been building in me for months and her agreeing to write a book on the murders was what broke the camel's back.

"I cared about your dad-"

"You never cared. You wrote awful things about him, caused multiple murders, and ultimately caused his death. I never understood how he forgave you the first time, and I won't forgive you this time."

"Tatum-"

"If you publish this book, I will never speak to you again."

"You're bluffing."

"Fucking try me."

•••••••

I reached out to the nightstand to grab my phone, checking my notifications. I had a few emails from school and the normal, everyday ones I get from my mom trying to check in on me that I never answer. And then a message from Chad.

Chad: hey, I heard about a party happening at some fraternity house. Wanna go?

Chad: everyone else is going. Even Tara

   I rolled my eyes slightly after reading the texts. I'd had a childhood crush on Chad since I was old enough to know what that meant, and after Liv had died we ended up getting together. Even though I'd known I was a sort of rebound or distraction from what happened, at the time I'd thought it would blossom into something more. Instead we were just emotionally distant partners that would go days without talking. We rarely hung out without other people, we never had sex anymore, we didn't even kiss when around each other. And I was 90% sure he had a thing for Tera. He probably invited her the moment he found out about the party while I was probably the last person he texted.

Tatum: sounds fun. What time?

   I set my phone to the side as I got up and headed for the shower to get ready for the day. I had a class in two hours I couldn't be late for. I stumbled into the bathroom and glanced in the mirror, my hair was slightly messy and some of my eyeliner had smudged since I didn't bother to take it off when I went to bed.

   I turned the shower on before stripping out of my pajama pants and t-shirt. It was a DEVO shirt I'd stolen from my dad at some point. Once it was off I looked down at the few scars along my abdomen. Two were from Amber a year ago when we got in a fight, one was from when my appendix burst, and the other was from when I was 6. One of the teens who attacked Woodsboro had broken into our house and somehow I ended up stabbed. I didn't know much about it because o was so young and my dad had begged me to not ask about the event, and I trusted him that I didn't need to know about it.

   I shook myself from my thoughts and got back to getting ready. I showered and got dressed, skipping breakfast and decided to just pick up a coffee when I got the school. Most of my day was uneventful, I sat through a music theory class and a history class on Fashion industry before I went to get lunch alone at a small cafe on campus. I probably could have texted Chad to get lunch together, but I could use the time to work on a design for class instead.

While I was busy sketching with my headphones in a hand waved in front of my face, making me sit back quickly and look up. I ended up seeing Ethan standing above me, an apologetic smile on his face.

"You scared me," I said as I pulled my headphones off, causing Ethan to laugh slightly.

"Sorry, I tried to get your attention but you couldn't hear me."

I nodded and just looked up at the boy, unsure of what to say. I didn't know Ethan all that well despite him being Chads roommate. He went to all the same parties as us and he was always there when I went to chads, but we never really talked one on one. He seemed nice enough, but I wasn't interested in really getting to know other people.

"So...can I help you?" I finally asked, fully aware of how rude it sounded. I just couldn't get myself to really care.

"Sorry, I'm probably bothering you. I just saw you sitting alone and thought I'd say hi. You're probably busy."

"Just...working on an assignment." I mumbled as I glanced down at the drawing. A small line went through the drawing from when I jerked when Ethan scared me.

"So... would you mind if I sat?" I glanced back up at Ethan at his request. It was then that I noticed he had one of the sandwiches from the cafe in his hand. "I'll be quiet and just work on my own homework. There's just no other tables." He motioned around to all the other tables which had groups of friends sitting at them. For a second I thought about turning him away, but I couldn't. He had the look of a lost puppy, and saying no would be the equivalent of kicking that puppy.

"Be my guest," I motioned to the table and he quickly sat down and pulled his computer out. We both worked for a bit, and thankfully Ethan kept his promise of staying quiet and just working the whole time.

"Going so soon?" Ethan asked when I started to pack my stuff up.

"I have one more class for the day." I quickly said as I slid my sketch book into my bag. I stood up and grabbed my garbage from the table.

"Are you going to the party tonight?"

I hesitated for a second. "Chad invited you?"

"Was he not supposed to?"

"No," I quickly said. "I just... yeah, I'm going." I finally said.

"I'll see you tonight then," Ethan smiled and I forced one back at him.

"See you then.”

•••••••••

I messed with my hair slightly as I looked in the camera of my phone. I was standing on a corner as I waited to meet up with everyone else.

"Hey!" I heard a yell and glanced up to see Chad, Tara, Mindy, Mindy's new girlfriend I hand learns the name of, and Ethan. I was almost shocked to not see Sam with them since she never let Tara out of her sight.

I slid my phone into my purse and forced a smile onto my face as I walked over to them. "Hi," I greeted as Chad wrapped an arm around my shoulders. I stiffened slightly at the uncommon position, a movement that should be second nature to a couple felt foreign with him.

"Good to see you," Chad smiled as he kissed the top of my head.

"You too," I smiled as I hugged him back before his hand slid from my shoulders to my hand. That was the extent of our interaction before we were walking to the party and Chad was talking to everyone else. I stayed quiet but kept our hands intertwined as we walked, any time he started to pull away I'd tighten my hand to keep him within arms length. I didn't go out much and I wasn't about to let go of my lifeline when I did.

   We walked about a mile to the frat house, and most of the party was a blur. I drank a bit but mainly just sat on a couch and watched the people around me. Chad was immediately off and socializing, and I remembered at one point he got pissy because I wouldn't be his partner for a drinking game. But by the end of the night the group of us ended up at Chad and Ethan's apartment.

   "Hey," Ethan sat down next to me on the couch. I had my arms crossed across my chest as I watched Chad with Tara. He was just standing with her and drinking, but the way they looked at each other pissed me off.

   "Hi." I mumbled, not looking at the man.

   "Did you have fun tonight?"

   "It was fine." I knew Ethan didn't deserve how I was talking to him, but at that moment I didn't really care. Truth was, I was tired. I was tired of being in a relationship that was going nowhere and watching Chads next relationship blossom in front of me.

   "I'm leaving." I mumbled as I stood up quickly and walked over to Chad. "I'm leaving," I repeated to my boyfriend.

   "Already?"

   "It's past midnight." Chad just looked at me for a moment.

   "Okay." I scoffed when he turned to talk to Tara again. "What?"

   "Most people's boyfriends would offer to walk their girlfriend home, or call her a car, or at least ask her to text him when she makes it home."

   "Fine, text me when you get home." Chad said, clearly annoyed.

   "Glad to see you worried about your girlfriend," I rolled my eyes while Chad let out a sigh.

"Are we really going to do this right now? You're ruining the vibe," he complained.

"I'm ruining the mood? You're the one who basically refused to spend any time with me all night!" I saw Tara cringe slightly at how loud I had become, and everyone else on the room had gone quiet. Even Mindy was silent as she watched me and her brother.

"I'd happily spend time with you if you weren't such a buzz kill. You just sit by yourself in the corner anytime we go anywhere and you just sit in your empty apartment alone. You used to be fun, but in the last year you've become awful to be around. I thought you were just getting over your dad but-"

"Don't!" I stepped close to Chad to point a finger in his face. "Don't way a word about my dad."

"It's been a year. I got over Liv, you have to get over your dad at some point."

We stood in silence for a moment before I felt tears start to well up in my eyes. "Fuck you chad." I spat before shoving him away and storming down the hall and to their bathroom.

By the time I slammed the door shut tears were streaming down my face. I was embarrassed and angry at Chad. I shouldn't have ever gone out tonight, I should have never agreed to go out with Chad in the first place. I slid down on the ground, leaning against the door and pulled my legs up to lay my head on as I cried.

I don't know how long I was there before someone was knocking on the door to the bathroom.

"Hold on!" I called out as I stood up, wiping at my face slightly. I was sure my makeup was a mess and I didn't feel like looking in the mirror before I opened the door. Ethan was standing in the other side.

"Sorry, you probably need in here." I mumbled as I started to walk past him, but he reached out to stop me.

"No, I- I was coming to check on you. You've been in here a while." He laughed awkwardly, prompting a small smile from me. "If it's any consolation, Chad was being a dick."

"Thanks, but you don't have to say that. I know you're friends with him." I mumbled. "Go, I probably looked like such a bitch to everyone."

"I thought you were right." Ethan shrugged. "Chad doesn't act like he's in a relationship with you, which is insane."

"Why? Cause I'm such a catch?" I joked, looking down at the ground. When I didn't hear anything from Ethan I glanced up to see him staring at me, a slight blush on his cheeks.

"I mean... yeah."

His words had a blush growing on my own face, and I wasn't really sure why. I really didn't know Ethan, he'd always just been Chads friend. Maybe it was just because it was attention from someone, maybe I just wanted some attention.

I took a small step towards Ethan, which prompted him to step towards me. "I don't think I've ever had someone call me a catch." I watched as a small smile grew on Ethan's face.

"Chad should be telling you regularly."

"Well, he's not. What are you gonna do about it?" I prompted, and after a second Ethan was leaning in to kiss me. I pushed my lips against his in what started as a gentle kiss, but I didn't want a gentle kiss. I stepped closer to Ethan and reached up to wrap my arms around his neck, one of my hands sinking into his curly hair. He reached out to wrap his arms around my hips, pulling me closer as he deepens the kiss. I opened my mouth to let his tongue into it as the kiss became sloppy.

"Which room is yours?" I asked as I pulled away slightly.

"Should we-"

"Which room is yours?" I asked again, a bit more pushy. Ethan looked at me for a second before nodding.

"Come on.”

••••••••••••

An- do not worry, the next chapter will have the smut in it.

[angeltreasure]

Hi, I have a really difficult situation I'm dealing with and I'd appreciate all the prayers. 🙏🏻

We are just a few weeks away from the birth of our son, and I can't wait. I want to have him baptized as soon as possible, but my husband doesn't see the reason to rush, besides it being important to me. I fear that if I start explaining the importance of baptism it'll turn him away, he is a Catholic only by baptism, he believes in God but he's not living as a Catholic at all. We aren't married in Church, but only in the court (got married when I was a protestant, but we are both Catholic), and he isn't sure if he wants a wedding in a church (as in inside of a building), but that's a whole other topic. My biggest priority now is baptizing our boy, but he doesn't see the point of rushing and I'm getting depressed about it. I've been waiting for months for him to choose a godfather, he's still not sure who he wants to ask, and I'm losing hope that I can rely on him to make important decisions anymore. I feel like if I don't take things into my own hands nothing will get done. We aren't living together (different countries) and we are in a process of changing that, and he says that's his current priority. It's important, but it's a process much longer than baptizing a newborn. I went through the entire pregnancy basically on my own, I can only say God gave me strength because it's been so difficult. I can't really have a conversation about this because he's not able to see things from my point of view as my point of view is Catholic and his is worldly.

I know that's all over the place, but I hope I was able to get my point across. 😅 I'm trying not to fall into despair and trust God's plan. I never identified with St. Monica more than I do now.

Thank you for your time. I hope you have a blessed Sunday. 🕊

Hello! Thank you I hope you have a blessed Sunday too.ill absolutely pray for you and your family.

I asked my mom for advice on this one. She suggests that you talk to a Catholic priest. Explain to the priest the entire situation in detail more than you did here, and how important this Baptism is for your newborn to be. Our priests can give you advice and explain more in detail what options you have that can accommodate the situation with your family’s living situation.

[stratossphere]

can’t stay apart. | j.k

johnny knoxville x steve-o’s sister!reader

word count: 4.4k

*alludes to reader being a crew member on jackass*

after being broken up for the past 3 weeks, johnny ends up taking reader home from steve-o’s birthday party, where they spend their first night together since their breakup.

warnings: slight angst, reader is crossed, debauchery at steve-o’s apartment, fluff towards the end

— —

"You leaving?" You could see Johnny walking towards the door of Steve-O's apartment, and as much as you would also be leaving if you had the opportunity, you weren't sure that you wanted him gone quite yet. Plus, to make matters worse, you were pretty sure he was trailing after some blonde you'd never seen before. Sure, the last time you'd interacted had been a fight and you'd told him you never wanted to fuck him again, but people lie.

"Going out for a smoke. And leaving, depending on how much I like the fresh air." He waved the pack of cigarettes in his hand up for you to see. "Why? You want one?"

"Yeah. I can't be in here anymore." All nerves on whether or not you were on good terms skipped your thoughts as he offered an escape from your brother's disgusting apartment, and you were out of your seat before he was even finished speaking. You watched his eyes pull on the blonde, who was already disappearing out the front door, before he stuck his place and waited for you to make your way over to him.

You made the quick walk up to the roof of Steve's apartment, and the entire time you were mentally praying that none of his creepy-ass friends were going to be up there. It made you feel a little better that Johnny would be there with you, but you still wanted silence all the same. Steve-O's friends really knew how to party like professionals, but they were clueless in how to respect boundaries and women in general.

"I didn't expect you to be here. I thought you refused to be in Steve-O's place." He muttered as he shoved a cigarette between his lips. To your relief, there was no one on the roof but the two of you, and the fresh air that he had promised was living up to its hype as you sat down in some of the discarded chairs.

"Well, it's his birthday. I'd feel bad if I didn't make an exception." You sighed, frowning a little bit when you watched him slip his pack right back into his pocket without saying anything. He better not want you to share.

"That's sweet." He said it so offhandedly that you almost didn't catch it. But you did, and you couldn't help the hint of a smile that pulled at your lips as he handed over the cigarette he'd just taken a short puff off of. Your eyes stayed on him as you took a longer drag, feet up and resting on the edge of his pool chair. You didn't even want to know where it had come from.

"Not really. He gave me an ounce of green to come." You admitted. You and Steve had always spent all of your birthdays together as kids, and you had tried to continue the tradition into adulthood, but sometimes it needed a little bit of coercion to convince you. Especially with your brother being who he was.

"Attagirl." Ugh. He was making it really hard to stay mad at him. You were trying to constantly replay the fight you'd had that had ended your relationship in the first place as an incentive, but even that wasn't working.

"What about you? Find any interesting blondes to go home with?" It was a pointed question, because you already knew the answer, but to your surprise, he merely brushed it off.

"Everyone at this party looks like they're on meth." He sighed, and then leaned forward to take a drag off the cigarette still between your fingers, a playful smirk on his face as he looked at you while doing it.

"PJ, you kind of look like you've been doing meth." You pointed out. He'd probably been up for a few days with whatever he was doing, and you could see nasty bruises across several inches of his exposed arms. None on his neck, thankfully. He chuckled, running a hand through his wild hair before slowly exhaling smoke.

"Thanks, sweetheart." And there was that hint of Tennessee in his voice as he accepted your observation. It was making it hard for you to stay in your chair instead of moving to share his. "You drunk?"

"Decently." You weren't really up for any of his stunts and games anyway, so you didn't lie. No use in letting him convince you to play a game of football with all of his friends until you were puking in the yard like last weekend.

"High?" A funny question, considering you'd just told him you'd been gifted an ounce, but you took a deep breath and resisted the urge to respond sarcastically before opening your mouth again.

"A little more than decently." He laughed when you said it, and you couldn't help but laugh with him due to the weed. It felt good to be so relaxed with him when for the past two weeks you'd been nothing but venomous towards each other. "I've got less than half of my ounce left, man. I'm fucking blitzed."

"Well, I'm heading out before I get too comfortable with a beer funnel. I'll take you home." He offered, moving to stand up before offering a hand out to you. You smiled softly, because you'd actually been kind of scared of how the hell you were going to manage to get home on your own after your ride had let your brother convince him to do a beer enema.

"Fucking thank you." You let him pull you up before you were following after him, heading towards the steps to make our descent back through the lion's den that was your brother's apartment. You were really hoping that he would get kicked out of this one soon, because the layout prevented you from being able to sneak out without having to talk to him, and it was also starting to get more than uninhabitable inside.

"Oh, don't praise me yet. I've still gotta make it through the buttchugs without getting drawn in." He winked at you as you paused on the balcony for a second, each taking a moment to mentally prepare for going back into the party that was still in full swing. He then extended a hand again, a slightly mischievous look on his face. "Don't want to lose you in there, so you might want to hold on."

If God was testing you in the form of self control, you were definitely failing, because you grabbed that hand before the words were even fully out of his mouth. It felt good to be back in the swing of things, and it also felt good to have his strong presence next to yours. Especially in the setting you were currently in. You slid back into the party where, true to your expectations, there were two beer enemas going on in the middle of the absolutely trashed living room.

Thankfully, Steve-O wasn't one of the recipients, but he was holding one of the funnels. He glanced up when the balcony door slammed back shut, and then did a double take when he realized it was you.

"Y/n/n! I thought you left!" He cheered. You watched as he passed the funnel over to someone else before stepping around the crowd of onlookers to make it over to you and Johnny "Dude. Isn't this party fucking gnarly?"

"Yeah! And I'm leaving!" You responded, having to shout in order for him to hear you over the cheering. You watched his unfocused eyes dart down to where you and Johnny’s fingers were interlaced, but you were relieved to see that he looked too high to even notice.

"Fuck that! You just got here!" He complained, throwing an arm around your shoulders. He was sweaty and he smelled like a bar and a smoking room, which made you attempt and fail to shrug out from under his arm. "Where you goin'?"

"I've been here for like, three hours." You could tell he was having a hard time understanding you, so you grabbed his hand with the hand that wasn't still in Johnny's and dragged him over to the only area of his apartment that wasn't drowning in people, which just happened to be the entrance to the hallway closet. "I'm going home. PJ's gonna drive me."

"It's my birthday." Steve-O whined, throwing a fit that closely resembled tantrums you had seen as a child. You laughed, glancing back at a mostly un-entertained Johnny before looking back at your brother. He was now giving you a 'please don't leave' look, and his grip on your hand was only getting tighter. "I got you an ounce!"

"I promise I will take you out for a post-birthday lunch tomorrow. I have to go home." You sighed, taking your hand out of Johnny's and then using it to pry Steve-O's fingers off of you. He suddenly narrowed his eyes, and then he was looking back and forth between you and Johnny like something had just dawned on him.

"Why, so you can bang Knoxville?" He accused you, jabbing a finger in Johnny’s direction like he was an inanimate object. You opened your mouth to refute that rumor, even if it might've been true, but you heard Johnny chuckle behind you, and then his hand was on Steve-O's shoulder instead of yours.

"Dude. She's bringing down the party. I'm just gonna drop her off at her apartment, and then I'll be back to do beer bongs. And not one that's been up someone's ass." He consoled, and you could tell he was easily convincing Steve-O by the way a grin quickly spread onto your brother's face. You smacked Johnny's arm, shooting him a dirty look, but didn't refute that idea.

"Hey. You better pick me up at one tomorrow, or else I'm telling dad that you're screwing him." Steve-O warned, jabbing a finger first at you and then at Johnny. That was an empty threat, considering the fact that he was blackout drunk and he wouldn't remember your interaction tomorrow anyway, but you pretended to look affected just for his satisfaction.

"Done. But if you puke in my car, I'm making you lick it back up." That was your final warning, which had Johnny genuinely laughing, before you moved to push through the crowd of disgusting adults. You then turned back to your brother momentarily. "I love you! Don't break anything!"

"Yeah, whatever! Love you!" He waved you off but responded regardless, that 'ready-to-party' look quickly falling back onto his face as one of his friends grabbed him by the arm once he was in reaching distance. You struggled to stay close to Johnny as you fought towards the front door, but eventually you made it out, pulling the door shut like it was stopping a tidal wave from spilling into the hallway.

"Jesus. I feel like I just jumped in a bath of sweat." Johnny complained as you started our way down the crusty carpet-covered stairs. You could see the line of sweat that stained the back of his light blue PBR shirt, and his face was covered in a thin sheen when he glanced back at you to check on you. Any party in Steve-O's apartment was basically a sweat bath.

"So, I was bringing down the party, huh?" You said after a while, cigarette still between your lips as you spoke. He barely glanced at you this time, and he shook his head.

"Had to get you out of there somehow. But yeah, you kind of were." At first you thought he was going to be nice, but then of course he had to finish it off by being an asshole. "You've just been smoking in the corner by yourself."

"You'll have to excuse me. I worked 13 hours today going over logistics and planning out the India flight with Tremaine." You complained, passing the cigarette over to him as you stepped outside. "I'm tired."

"You're always tired." He muttered, and you could tell by his expression that his words were filled with hidden meanings. Hidden meanings that you were too crossed and too fed up with to decipher.

"Well, I work. And I don't do cocaine." You said dryly, giving him a taste of his own medicine with your pointed tone. "I'm surprised you offered to take me home. You know, because I said I wouldn't fuck you again."

He almost stopped completely in his tracks, and his critical gaze turned back on you as he slowed his walk so that you were almost side-to-side. Once he was over the initial shock, he took his car keys out of his pocket and turned his gaze away from you once again to focus on finding his car that was parked somewhere along the horribly-lit curb.

"You know, every time we fight, you have a habit of shouting the first thing that comes to mind." He said, sounding semi thoughtful as his ratty converse scratched against the pavement with every step. You stared at the side of his head sourly.

"I meant it. Unless you take me seriously and stop being such an immature douche, you will never see these legs spread again." You might've been a little drunk and a lot high, but that wasn't changing. No matter how many furtive glances and sweet nicknames he gave you.

It was silent for a while after that. The only acknowledgement you gave each other was when he opened your door for you, and when you changed the station on the radio upon his request. Then it was silence. You drove down roads that you'd seen a million times, passed buildings you'd frequented throughout your short time in LA, and listen to music you'd heard before. It was all familiar, but somehow you felt so distant and foreign in your seat. You were so lost in thought it didn't even click that you had passed the exit to get to your house until you were already turning down a different street.

"PJ. You missed the turn." Maybe he had been lying about how sober he really was. You were starting to get irritated, and this was only making it worse. You wondered if he could tell that you were speaking through your teeth.

"Yeah, I know. I don't want you alone in that shitty neighborhood all night when you're like this. I'm just gonna have you stay at my place for the night." He explained like it was no big deal. You stared at him for a second, your brain clearly trying to decide between feeling touched that he cared enough to do so and pissed that he did it without asking. He could clearly sense your unrest, because he sighed. "I will sleep on the couch, for god's sake."

"I didn't say anything."

"You didn't have to. I can feel you burning a hole in the side of my damn head."

And then there was silence again. It was a little easier this time, because he was the one who was annoyed instead of you, but it still made you ache to be back in his house and not cramped up in a car with him. You weren't sure exactly why you were so anxious around him now, as just three weeks ago you'd been playing PlayStation until two in the morning with the back of his head resting between your thighs with your legs resting over his shoulders and on his chest. It probably had something to do with the fact that the great Johnny Knoxville, infamous for his tendency to laugh in even the most inappropriate of situations, was now glaring out the windshield at the road in front of him without a single word.

It felt like hours, but finally you were pulling up to his house, which came as a welcome sight after not seeing it for such a long time. You weren't going to let him get anywhere, but that didn't mean you couldn't take up his nice ass couch and eat something out of his fridge.

He led you to the door before letting you into the completely silent, dark house that always smelled a lot nicer than you anticipated. Johnny was a lot cleaner than you would expect.

One of the reasons you stayed in your two-bedroom apartment in the city was the fact that owning a house just seemed so lonely when you lived by yourself. Sure, you were probably coming close to being able to afford it, but it just seemed excessive when you didn't need it. But, as everyone knew, Knoxville was a different breed. Always had been.

"You just wanna crash, or do you want a drink?" He asked as he threw his keys on the counter, a hint of a grin on his face as he watched you flop directly down on his couch.

"Water won't kill me, I guess." You managed, haphazardly toeing off your brand-new shoes that had probably gotten dirty throughout the night and listening to them each drop down onto the wood floor with a thunk! You heard the sound of his sink running, and you glanced over at the coffee table to see that he had faxes of your logistics outlines and also the flight itineraries for everyone for India in three weeks. It made you feel a little better that he seemed to have actually read through them.

"Looks good. Gotta hand it to ya, you got that done pretty quick." Johnny appeared next to you just as he held out the full glass of water, the scuffed-up toes of his converse coming into view at the bottom of your eye-line.

"Thank you. I almost strangled Jeff several times in the process." You said, sitting up with a slight smile as you took the glass from him. Your hands brushed when you grabbed it, and you tried to ignore the jolt that ran up the back of your neck. Stop. It.

"I don't know how you're still conscious. You're eyes're redder than hell." Johnny commented, crouching down and taking the glass from you to set down when you almost missed the coffee table and dropped it right onto the floor.

"Talent." You said with a smile, suddenly very aware of how close he was to you. He was sweaty, but you could still smell his cologne, and it was taking everything in you not to pull him onto the couch right on top of you. "Thanks for taking me home. Sweet of you."

"I could only watch so much stupidity in one night, doll." He brushed off your thanks easily, standing back up out of his crouch to stand above you with his arms crossed. "Woulda killed me to watch you walking around out there by yourself this late."

"Ugh. I hate it when I'm fucked up and you're not." You sighed, shielding your eyes from the light in the kitchen with your hand. The weed was flaring up to an all time high, and the room felt like it was spinning. And yet, he looked like he hadn't had more than maybe one or two beers.

"You'll be okay in the morning. Just let me take you to bed, and you'll sleep it off fine." He reassured, offering a hand out to you. Your smile only got wider, and you took his hand without much resistance. Plus, he had a king-sized bed. Who would be able to say no to that?

"PJ?" You asked tentatively as he wrapped an arm around your waist to keep you on two feet while you made your way towards the stairs. He let out a sound of acknowledgment, and you gripped his arm a little tighter. "Were you going to go home with that blonde girl earlier?"

There was a pause, and then he sighed. "Yeah."

Wow. It was usually a pain in the ass to get more than a tiny shred of information out of him.

"But I care more about you than I do her." He finished it off more reassuringly, making your weed-laced heart swell stupidly at his admission. God, you were such a pushover for him. “Actually don’t give a fuck about her, so don’t worry your pretty little head.”

"Okay." Was all you could muster, but your contentment with his words flooded through your tone easily as you spoke.

His room was nice and cool when you stepped inside, and he didn't even bother turning on the lights as he let you sit on the edge of the bed.

"You want something more comfortable to wear? I'm pretty sure someone spilled beer on this shirt." Johnny spoke softly as he motioned to a stain on your side, concerned eyes not wavering from yours. You nodded, and then he left you to rifle through his closet.

"I don't think I like being broken up anymore." You don't know what came over you, but the words were out of your mouth before you could let your common sense kick in. Johnny looked back at you with a hint of surprise from where he was searching through his shirts, mouth partially open.

"I uh...really?" He sounded as surprised as you felt with yourself.

"It's getting boring." You said simply, watching him walk back over to you with a shirt that said KISS THE POPE. He handed it over, a lot gentler than how he would've just tossed it in your general direction if you were sober. The two sides of Johnny Knoxville.

"I'm okay with that." His fingers trailed over your knee as he moved away again, looking at you over his shoulder. "You want pants with that?"

"Can I ask you a question?" You shook your head to answer his previous question before you spoke, and watched him stop in the middle of his room as if caught between finding something to do away from you and actually moving to to be in your general vicinity.

"Shoot." He gestured to you to give you the all clear, brushing a hand over his hair and watching you closely. You struggled to find your words, before just giving up and going for the simple route.

"Do you love me?" It felt like someone took 10 tons of pressure and dropped it directly over the room. He looked like a deer caught in headlights, as if he wasn't sure how to approach his answer. But, after a second, he cleared his throat.

"Do you want me to?" You had known he was going to go that route. He always did. He always made you spill your thoughts before you could even graze his. You shrugged.

"I don't know." That was really your honest answer. Of course, you liked him. Really liked him. Probably more than what was healthy. But you knew he wasn't committed. It was the whole reason you'd broken up in the first place. But here he was now, taking care of you and getting you ready for bed. He ran a hand over his mouth before taking a few steps forward, landing in front of you before he crouched down. His arms rested on your knees as brown eyes looked up to meet yours.

"How's this? I think I'm falling in love with you. I don't know how I feel about the rest of it quite yet." He said, eyes darting to where your hand moved to rest on his shoulder. "If you don't know yet, then I don't know yet, okay?"

"Okay. Yeah." Despite the fact that each of your breaths seemed like it was sucking all the air out of the room around you, you still felt breathless. Maybe it was his hands on you, maybe it was the fact that he'd just admitted to falling in love with you. "You can stay, if you like."

"Alright. Let's get you into bed." He mumbled, getting back up and letting you pull your trashed clothes off and slip his new shirt on before he coaxed you against the pillows and under the sleek black comforter. "That ok?"

"Good." You said sleepily, already feeling your eyelids getting heavier as you closely watched him strip out of his shoes, socks, and Dickies. How you were ever able to resist this man, you had no fucking idea. "I missed you."

"You know I missed you too, sweetheart." The bed dipped next to you as he slid into his side, his fingers immediately finding your arm once he had pulled the covers over himself. Soon, he was completely flush up against your back in a spooning position, his lips ghosting across the back of your neck. "Just wake me up if you need anything."

You turned your head with your last ounce of strength, and were met with the familiar sensation of his lips on yours, immediately soothing an ache that had been clawing its way through you for the last three weeks as you tasted his cigarette-tinged skin.

You were able to mutter out one last half-audible thank you as you fell asleep, one of Johnny's arms draped over your side and thigh, and the other one under your pillow with our fingers laced together as you faded into his warmth.

Falling in love and already loving someone was such a thin line, and neither Johnny nor you could really seem to tell the difference. Of course, you weren't ready to admit that to each other, so it would stew for a few more weeks or months, but at least you had a tiny shred of reassurance. His arms around you didn’t hurt, either.

No matter how annoying he was or how snippy you got with each other, somehow it seemed impossible to stay apart. Even when you were as pissed with him as you had possibly ever been, it was hard to stay mad once you saw that trademark Knoxville grin. He just always had that effect on you.

So you fell asleep without a hint of stress crushing your shoulders for the first time in weeks, the only sound in the room Johnny’s soft breathing and occasional mumbling.

[greenlotusleaf]

((I'm a D&D nerd you got my attention with this game idea!))

I'd most likely be the small petite nerdy spellcaster who's very self conscious about her lack of curves. While on watch one night I was messing with some alchemy to try and help me with my body confidence, but at some point I had accidentally split the potion on you. Thankfully we had just finished an exhausting dungeon so you were in a deep sleep while it absorbed into your skin overnight.

The next morning you felt a little bloated and sluggish, shrugging it off as just being sore and still tired from yesterday's dungeon crawl. I'm constantly looking your way while returning to town praying that you don't notice, the slowly swelling of your body or my stare. You have to loosen the bands and belts on your leather armor, hoping the others don't notice but I do and jot down the effects in my journal while walking. We arrive in town in the late afternoon and you say you're going to head back to the inn, hoping sleeping in a proper bed will make you feel better. I excuse myself from the others a little bit after you do and make my way to the inn as well. Later that evening I hear a knocking on my inn door and to my surprise it's you, you're out of your leathers and in what was once baggy clothes that's now clinging a little tight on your swollen body with little bit of your belly poking out from the bottom. You ask me what's happening to you, explaining the events to your knowledge from this morning and just feeling yourself bloat and get fatter throughout the day. I lie by omitting the fact I'm the one responsible for your new growth and say that I can try and make a potion to try and reverse it. But it being the same potion that start this, using you as an unwitting test subject pushing your grow as long as you'd let me try.

I'm fat, I announce unnecessarily as I push past you into your room, closing the door behind. My body jiggles, wobbles, pushing against my nightshirt as I stride over to sit down on the bed, explaining what I know. I've been getting fatter throughout the day. People are going to start noticing! I grab at my body as I show you the details: the flab on my arms, the little roll when I hold my chin like *this*, the way I can't pull my shirt down to cover my whole belly anymore. And while I don't mind what it's doing to me up *here*, it's a huge problem everywhere else. A *huge* problem. I need you to mix me up some kind of cure, as fast as you can. I'm here in just a nightshirt because I'm already too fat for my pants, and it's still happening. I can feel myself *oozing* out, while we're sitting here talking!

Maybe I'm too trusting, but I drink whatever you mix for me, too lost in my own problems to notice the way your eyes linger on my waist, on the growing plushness of my ass, on the new depth of my cleavage. Worried and exhausted, I fall asleep on your bed in only a nightshirt, thickening thighs exposed, belly slowly imposing itself. You're such a good friend, taking care of me like this. I fall asleep knowing the cure is working, must be working by now. When I wake up I'll be my old self again, light as a feather and quick as the rain. You take notes as I sleep, watching me as I dream, and blow up.

Are your notes about the version of this formula you still wish to try for yourself, or have you shifted your focus, designing new formulas just for me?

[sassymajesty]

may I ask what made you pick judaism, if it's not too personal & you're willing to share? i legit dont know enough about religions so i'm genuinely curious. like why not islam or something else? or why not transfer to protestant or orthodox church? you said you did some wandering, so i'm just curious what made you pick judaism over everything else. like i said i'm not judging or anything, just pure curiosity due to my lack of knowledge! but i'm glad you found something that resonates with you :)

short answer, jewish beliefs resonated the most with me and the more i learn about it, the more at home i feel

long answer, oh boy, i really did do some wandering. i'm putting it under a cut because i wrote a whole essay

i stopped going to the catholic church when i was 15, and the next... ten years? were spent trying to find myself. because i've always known that i believe in something more, but the idea of an old guy in the sky ruling over us with an iron fist felt very odd too me. and that's how i came out of the catholic church

my dad used to say that religion is supposed to bring you comfort and give you the support you need in tough times. that's something that has always stuck with me but then, which religion?

i tried the agnostic route for a while, but that didn't bring me any comfort. then i went to a buddhist temple a couple times, because the logic was sound to me, and i was at a time in my life where acceptance and kindness was what i needed. but still, i felt like there was something lacking

i googled a lot

being gay, i didn't quite vibe with most christian denominations in my town. but my cousin invited me to the presbyterian church and i went there for a few months. it kinda worked for a bit, because i was sure i didn't believe in saints and they talked about jesus with so much love, and tried to spread the love he taught the world. i used to leave the church service feeling very loved, and it was better to read from the bible than it was to just listen to the priest read it and being told that i'd never understand it myself

i just... didn't feel the same love as everyone else. i felt like a fraud even when i was annotating my bible as everyone else. theirs were full of devotion and mine felt flat, i didn't know how to pray without, you know, scripted prayers, i felt like an impostor. then, well. then it got to a point where i couldn't simply ignore being gay for the sake of being accepted there, and i stopped going

at the time, i was working at a health clinic and i worked with pious people from other christian denominations and they were so judgemental of everyone that came in, forgetting their own past and still claiming to be a good christian. which only pushed me away from any other christian denominations, the fanon interpretation of jesus bothered me too. it all felt too restrictive

that's around the time i started wondering whether or not i believed in jesus. it's always been complicated for me to make sense that god, jesus and the holy spirit are separate but still one. i could kinda figure out the holy spirit and god working together, but for me, jesus was a man, a human man who had been kind and drastically radical for his time, but still a man

honestly, at this time i was pretty lost and finding comfort in bits and pieces here and there. christian music actually helped me a lot during this time, go figure

it took me actually meeting a jewish person (that's how small judaism is in here, i had no contact of anyone jewish for 26 years of my life) for me to learn that you could even convert to judaism

i had the catholic thinking of "oh, judaism is an old religion that doesn't really exist anymore" and "the old testament god was barbaric", but getting to learn more about it with fresh eyes was a really breathtaking experience

i like that the rules make sense. there's no "because the church says so" or "because god will be sad if you do it". whatever argument you can think of, someone has gone over it at least a thousand years ago and have had people arguing for or against it ever since. i love it that you get to ask questions!!! you're encouraged to!! oh that's my favorite part, i can have doubts about whatever and no one will talk behind my back that i'm not a good catholic girl. and i get to learn about this practice that goes back thousands of years, and not to be a nerd, but i love how much incentive there is to read and learn and discuss and talk through things and question everything and think critically about every passage, every tradition, every book ever written on judaism

i'm reading "here all along" by sarah hurwitz and there's a chapter called "freeing god from "his" human-shaped cage in the sky" and in it, she talks about different conceptions about god that jewish people believe in. and that is when i realized oh yes, this is home. because god stopped being an old guy in the sky and became this force that no human being could ever describe or understand. god can be all knowing and all powerful, but they can also be all knowing and not all powerful. they can be everything — a shadow the tree casts, the good in humanity, resting on shabbat. god can be the "process of being" or the force that pushes you to be the best you can be. i haven't explored a fraction of those but i love it that i don't have to choose just one, and i don't have to believe in one version that's dictated to me

all my experiences with judaism have been incredible so far. i used to slog through an hour long mass, now two hours every friday feel like not enough. the community i found (both in the synagogue i go to and online) is very welcoming and there's so much strength in them. the more i learn about the practices, the why behind them, the more at home i feel

we had an event for people who want to convert and we talked about being gay and judaism and everyone was pretty much you just gotta find a rabbi that you're comfortable with but even the most conservative ones are mostly chill with it, and the conversation moved on to another question. and that? being accepted fully by who i am, that's incredible for me. i don't have to change, i don't have to force myself to believe in anything

i'm gonna end this here, otherwise i'll be talking about judaism until next week

[dawningfairytale]

who will pray for you when your body's gone?

aka a post that was going to be two and then i thought more and went FUCK

because, okay, when i first heard this line, i thought it was grace's internal proof of her superior christianity. while what she values primarily is her chastity (vibrating with anger at evangelical purity culture btw), she absolutely has a superiority complex around her faith. she doesn't swear, she's a christian unlike shapiro, a catholic (this also really pisses me off when i come across it irl, and believe me i have). so, now that either she wasn't following God anymore (who was left to pray for him), or she was the Real Christian in hatchetfield who kills jason (who would pray for him if she wouldn't), he was alone.

and then i realised - grace doesn't pray that much onstage. this makes logical sense, it'd only really work in a monologue or soliloquy (think charlotte in tgwdlm before you tied up my heart). because, you know, you're talking to someone who not only doesn't talk back but also isn't onstage. in a physical form. you know what i mean.

the two instances grace has of talking to God in any way (which is praying, feel free to use the terms interchangeably), or one and a half, is when the chasitys say amen after grace (food prayer, not the character) (i'm counting this as the half because normally one person says grace, we don't know if it was mark or karen instead, but i mean you're praying *with* someone even if you don't say anything. i'm also counting as half because we don't see the prayer, just the end, because it's a scene transition). the other is "and now he's leaving me out to dry! DO SOMETHING YOU SON OF A BITCH!" now, as a christian and therefore the authority on all christian matters (this is a joke please take it as one), it's not considered the best thing to call God a son of a b-word, and i personally haven't done so. however, this can be thought of - and stick with me here - as a slightly excessive form of a lament. i personally interpret lament to be less "God, you bitch" and more "hey, God, what the fuck" (i have said that one). laments are found in the Bible, (there's a book called lamentations, and iirc there are some in psalms). however, she regrets this prayer because, look, i'm not going to act as all-knowing, but lament is complex. basically, grace could internally see this as her rebelling against religion in the strict bounds that were set out for her, or maybe trying to command God? i'd personally say accidentally killing your classmate and excusing it by saying it was God's plan is a worse representation of God than saying "do something", but i'm bisexual and will be dead at some point, so who am i to judge?

after having this realisation, i realised that grace doesn't actually talk to the lib either. the closest she gets is saying their names in the summoning, but steph is the only one who actually talks to them. grace looks like she's in physical pain (which i have my reasons behind thinking, but they're more or less irrelevant). even when she's devouring the souls of the pervs, she never actually says "thanks to my boys, the lib". she doesn't say grace while metaphysical eating, for shame. you should be thankful for your food, chasity

and like. it's interesting, right? i don't have any major conclusions on this for the moment, but i'm curious if anyone here as any thoughts on this?

[a-friend-of-mara]

Hey uh

I'm leaving my mask at the door for a minute

If you enjoy the image of myself I put forward, the happy cheery autistic trans girl who doesn't dwell on her issues

Please just ignore this post

If you are uncomfortable with mentions of self harm, talking about non prescription drug addiction, suicide rates of trans kids

Please just go

Look

I say my biggest fear is that I'll be forgotten

It's easier than saying that I'm scared to death of myself

I'm worried I'll give up on life and stop eating... considering I can't gain or maintain weight I'd have a week before I was dead at the most

I'm afraid that I'll give up trying to look like the person I want to be rather than being stuck, trapped in a body that isn't mine but I'm wired up to like some sick torture method

I don't want to fall into drug use or self harm hoping that it'd pull me out of this pit of self hatred and hopelessness

I don't wanna be another tally mark on the trans suicide charts

I don't wanna die

I feel like I'm suffocating

That I can't move my legs... only the ones attached to me

I don't even know if I matter at this point

I just

I wanna be me

Not some false image that I was born with

Nobody understands how it is for me

My dad almost killed me with th fact he understood so little he put me into survival mode where I cared about nothing but staying alive because of how much damage his insistence that my body was in fact his son and not the cage that trapped his daughter

He used to have twins now he just has one kid with her twin sister... my sister

Now I live with my mom who doesn't understand, how could she? She's never wanted to tear her skin off because it wasn't hers... she understands how much I hurt though

She's able to see through my mask that I'm really suffering inside

Without her yall wouldn't have ever known I existed

You would've heard a news article of a trans kid who killed herself by diving off the balcony at her school although the media would misgender me.

I've almost done it

Sitting on the edge of a lethal drop fighting with myself to not do it

Not sure if I was lying when i told myself things would get better

I'm not sure if they are

Everything just keeps getting worse and worse

I can't even cry anymore

I don't care about so many things that I used to

I used to love

Then I was heartbroken

I used to care for my friends

Until I moved away

I used to enjoy helping others

Now I'm so tired I can't

Just

Fuck

It's kinda funny

How part of me thinks it's all my fault

How I'm not sure if it's something I did

But then I have to think

What could I possibly have done that'd make this torment justified?

How can any higher power exist when I've prayed to every God and Goddess I've ever learned of and not once has a goddam thing happened

How would a higher power let the world get this fucked up

Fuckin hell

My trans siblings are getting murdered for being themselves

Innocent people who live in unfortunate places are being killed because of stupid ass reasons

Fucking hell in America most people aren't free enough to take a month off work without becoming homeless

Decades of prejudice make people think women are weak and need defending but don't pay them well because... fuckin I don't know why!

It's pathetic that men get away with rape while women get away with false rape accusations usually destroying every relationship the man ever cared about

People look at others and treat them differently based on the color of their skin

YA KNOW HOW FUCKIN STUPID THAT IS?!

ITS DUMBER THAN PICKING ON SOMEONE WHO WORE A BLUE SHIRT PURELY BECAUSE OF THE SHIRT

What for?!

WHAT THE FUCK IS ALL THIS FOR?!

The privilege to go through 12 to 20 years of school to earn the right to have to work a job I'll probably hate until I'm like 60?!

Right now I'm pretty sure my life is gonna end before I reach 30!

What's the fuckin point?!

America for fucks sake

The land of the free

Yeah free to work or die because the 0.01% run the fucking nation like their playground

People wonder why I've responded to hostility with hostility in the last 3 years

Simple

I've bottled my emotions for so long the bottles are all full

Yelling and ranting always make me feel a little better

If anyone comments on this negatively I hope you die in a vat of boiling vinegar and drown in the yolks of rotten eggs

That goes for all the phobic people too

If you made it through this whole essay sized emotional breakdown and don't think I'm a complaining winey bitch

I can only say I wish the world was made of more people like you

Alright

Time for sleep

[winter-tospring]

wish i did not care at all to even listen to her albums at this point. maybe i'm too gay for this?? feels like her growth has stopped, she shifted at folklore, maybe that was the last one, and then goodbye, creative musings. we're stuck in a loop of diary entries that could be on a blog. i feel so disappointed and upset; it's been brewing a lot, what with the previous midnights mid failure, but dear reader still gave me a speck of hope. if not through her personal posts, at least i thought i'd still have her artistry connecting to my feelings, but it's so disconnected, like paths have diverted, and i wish i didn't want anything from her. it's just sad to part so bitter after years of holding her in my pocket through all the steps in my life, defending her and believing the stories she told. many are saying it's her trying to make us see her as human. maybe. she seems so lost in herself it's like she needs the reminder that she's more than a product she's been working two decades to sell. maybe she should escape. do an eat pray love and come back grounded, speaking up when she's screaming inside instead of bottling it up for a not half decent spoken album where she says she's not feeling well and that's all. say the things that are bothering you instead of complaining that life's hard for a billionaire when you haven't even shown you care about the horizon beyond yourself. say it!! fucking free yourself of your dad and your team and the cages you let stifle you! you have power and you act like you don't, like it wouldn't matter, like money's not what you want when you're selling 4 different vinyls then release a second full album after most of your fans already bought into your stuff. if you think about other things than yourself, it's not showing. if you want compassion, show it in return.

i'm tired of the product too. you think your silence makes you transcend time, legendarizes you into a figure that'll last. and maybe you'll be looked back on later, but whose hearts do you want to receive kindness from? it's not too late to come down, come out, be a companion, not a persona, if that's even what she wants anymore. she wants to stay a god but begs for pity. you take yourself there every time you so elaborately choose to conform to the cage you say you want to break out of. just pick something different. i though she'd had a glimpse of freedom but every aesthetic is a costume that doesn't really fit, every theme is a phase without commitment, everywhere we can't tell when it's real or green screen. she got lost in between, even in private, it's like even she doesn't know what to believe

[falsettos-tight-knit-family]

30 Falsettos Challenge in 2 Days (Part 2)

16) A Character You'd Want To Date: Whizzer. No questions asked. Next-

17) A Character You Want To Get To Know Better: As I said before, I'd love to know more about Charlotte as a character because I love the lesbians and I feel like even Cordelia got more fleshing out than she did.

18) Best Decision Someone Made In The Musical: Jason choosing to have his Bar Mitzvah in Whizzer's hospital room is something that still emotionally pains me every time I hear that song tbh

19) One Character You'd Want To Sing With: I'd take either part in any Whizzvin duet, especially if we're talking about Christian and Andrew's versions, they both have such good voices to harmonize with.

20) Favorite Cast Member: Andrew Rannells. I became immediately obsessed with other stuff he's done (I want to watch Black Monday and The New Normal so bad, but my family doesn't have Amazon Prime). Only when I watched the Thanksgiving side by side did I realize that the entire cast is incredibly chaotic in the best of ways and has such good chemistry together.

21) To Try To Convince Someone To Watch Falsettos, What Would You Show Them? I've already done this twice with my friends, the first thing I show them is a very specific compilation on youtube (Falsettos Act 1 Moments That Make Me Scream), because it's the same way I got into Falsettos to begin with

22) Which Act Did You Prefer? In terms of just music, probably Act 1 because I always lean towards more upbeat songs and it has less of a chance to make me burst out crying while watching/listening to it. But in terms of which I'd rather watch, I'd for sure say Act 2. The lesbians are there, you get to see Marvin and Whizzer get back together along with all of his and everyone else's character development, the story is absolutely heartbreaking, and I could go on-

23) Something That Makes You Passionately Rant: There's so many details between Unlikely Lovers through the end of What Would I Do that I feel the need to rant about. This is all stream of consciousness written at 2 am, so fair warning and I hope it all makes some kind of sense. So I talked briefly about Unlikely Lovers in another question, but ever since I saw someone point out how one of the reasons Whizzer probably wanted Marvin to go home was because he didn't want Marvin to have to wake up next to him if he died in his sleep, which I believe is true and the implication that he would rather spend what is hypothetically his last night alone, than for Marvin to have to go through that hurts me so bad- I already talked about the Cordelia part, but I will bring it up again because it is literally the first time we see her sad and it needs to be acknowledged more often. Jason praying to God and asking him for something for what appears to be the first time ("I don't think we've ever really spoken"). He doesn't know if God exists, but he's praying and hoping that if He does, He can somehow help Whizzer. In the Something Bad Reprise, when Charlotte says the line about AIDS being infectious, it feels like there's hardly a reaction on Marvin's end. As if he's already lost so much in the few weeks since learning Whizzer had it, that he's either numb/not surprised anymore or just doesn't care as much if he lives or dies if Whizzer will be gone by then anyway. I don't think there's much to be pointed out about You Gotta Die Sometime, but I do want to bring up how the end of that song immediately transitions into Jason's Bar Mitzvah. Whizzer finally let himself feel scared and just had an emotional breakdown over accepting the fact that he's about to die. He was sobbing by the time the transition happened and it's still noticeable as Jason starts singing. He's terrified that he's going to die, and now everyone he cares about is suddenly here. In his hospital room. All together here to celebrate one of the most important days in Jason's life, with Whizzer, who just two years ago was only known as Marvin's male lover. The one who broke up the family. Now he was part of the family, the one bringing them all together. Again, What Would I Do is just depressing even on surface level. I know everyone says they cry over "We're just gonna skip that stage" and i understand that, I'm much more emotionally damaged by Marvin's "I'd do it again. I'd like to believe that I'd do it again and again and again" which aside from showing how much he's grown since the beginning, he's not only saying he'd go through all that drama and heartache just to be with Whizzer every single time, but he also knows at this point that he is also most likely going to die directly because he was involved with Whizzer. And still, he'd do it all again for him (As I write this I am not okay-). Oh and also, in Days Like This, right before the song starts, Marvin very clearly puts on a fake smile to try and make Whizzer feel better and it really does need to be appreciated more-

24) A Character From Another Musical You'd Like To See In Falsettos: After that essay of pure sadness, I'm gonna go for the funny route and say Elder Price, not for anything story or even character related (because idk enough about the story or characters of BoM), but purely because it's Andrew Rannells² and I think the reactions to someone who looks just like Whizzer would be funny

25) A Character You Can Identify With: As much as I'd love to say Whizzer (and I do identify with him to an extent), it has to be Cordelia. Her general aura of happiness and energy, being the only one entertained by Marvin during The Baseball Game, and awkwardly laughing at Mendel's bad jokes, all are things I heavily relate to-

26) Favorite Non-Romantic Relationship: Whizzer and Jason's stepfather-son bond. I love them so so much, I wholeheartedly think that he was Jason's best dad of the 3. He came to his baseball game, despite being broken up with his father for 2 years and even when not part of the family, made it clear to everyone that he loves Jason ("I love baseball. I love Jason" "I love Jason, but this is not his venue"). He was the one who stood up and taught him how to swing the bat correctly and supported him fully, even though he knew as well as anyone that Jason wasn't great at the game. I will never be over this

--- 27) Favorite Quote/One Part Of A Song: Well the "kill your mother" line is taken from earlier so I'll say during Everyone Tells Jason To See a Psychiatrist, from when they introduced Whizzer like a Heather and through to the end of the song. The dramatic entrance, the head flick, Whizzer’s excited smile when Jason says he’ll go, Marvin mocking Trina’s hand movements during “they don’t make house calls” it’s all great

28) Something A Character Did That Pissed You Off: Marvin hitting Trina would be too obvious and the Chess Game was a metaphor, but Marvin in This Had Better Come to a Stop when he says Whizzer should "Always be here, making dinner, set to screw" and just being generally hypocritical (ex. "Whizzer screws too much to see what a joy's monogamy" sir you cheated on your wife and want to have both her and Whizzer at the same time. Idc if it's not sexual, it sure as hell isn't traditional monogamy)

29) A Photo/Edit/Manip That Makes You Happy: Here’s a couple of many behind the scenes pictures that make me smile (yes one is technically a gif)

Can you tell I love Andrew Rannells?

30) Something Else About The Musical You Want To Add (Wildcard): You know what I'm gonna simp in the wildcard- The way Andrew says a couple of his lines, specifically in the proshot, are randomly very attractive to me. I specifically mean "Hang up your clothes Marvin, breeding shows, Marvin" in TTOFL and "Sex and games in New York City" in A Day In Falsettoland. Also, idk if this is simp worthy or not, but the higher harmonies Christian hits in some of the songs (ex. Unlikely Lovers) are so pretty and super satisfying to listen to

[kitkatopinions]

Umm about my ask about yang being a terrible sister

I meant it as a "what if yang was acknowledged as a terrible sister and her not caring about ruby was caller out and pointed as a flaw"

I am aware she's a pretty bad sibling to ruby

Ahh, sorry. You mean like, how would I feel if she was acknowledged as a terrible sister in the show itself? Sorry if this is another misinterpretation, just let me know! But if it isn't, I think it'd be really good if the lack of care and the bad sibling behavior was called out in the show itself!

What I really want to have happen is that RWBYJ get back to Vacuo (I'm begging and praying for no time-skip in Remnant) and after the initial adrenaline of not being dead hits, Ruby starts icing out WBYJ. (I'll get to Yang specifically in a second, but I do want to talk about more than Yang here so please bear with me!) Maybe Ruby doesn't do it on purpose, or maybe she feels guilty about it, but instead of working with them as a team, she starts leaning more heavily on Nora, Oscar, and Ozpin and Qrow since we know she doesn't want to be the leader anymore and it would be natural for her to have grown more appreciative of their sometimes flawed but clearly trying methods (especially after the Tree God basically sang Hannah Montana's Everyone Makes Mistakes to get Ruby to be not-suicidal anymore.) Side note, but I think after Neo, now would be a good time to have Ruby start to be more in the 'trying to redeem villains' camp, which could lead to her trying and struggling around Emerald due to her having killed Penny, and her and Emerald agreeing that they should try to get Mercury on their side but Ruby is also doubtful of that and struggling with that because Mercury stopped her from saving Penny when Emerald killed Penny. That's just a side note, though, because there is so much for Ruby as a character to do and to experience in Vacuo if there isn't a time-skip that I feel like a lot of stuff would need to be set up in V10 with payoff coming in V11. Anyway, onto the rest of WBYJ.

I think having Weiss clearly recognize the problem and try to bridge the gap with understanding and listening to Ruby would make sense with how she was characterized in V9, but that it would also make sense for her to be caught up in drama regarding Winter and more specifically her auraless underage newly homeless little brother, so I'd like Ruby to warm to her more by the end of the season, they'd still be clearly not quite on track still. With Blake, this is going to sound bad, but I kind of want Blake to not really notice or care that Ruby is icing her out. They've had like one one-on-one conversation and only one meaningful moment between the two of them since volume one, and although I think V1-5 Blake actually did want to be Ruby's friend and just didn't communicate it well, Blek kind of just sees her as a girl she admires but doesn't know well. I feel like in order to try to bridge the gap between Blake and Blek (which I feel like they should really try to do since V10 features Vacuo where Sun is and might also feature Ilia and Blake's parents) then they should start by acknowledging that Ruby and Blake aren't really friends. Having Blake be caught up in her own thing (the return of Sun, trying to help the Atlas/Mantle refugees, possibly assisting Faunus in Vacuo,) and that resulting in her not really trying to be there for Ruby just makes sense to me, and I say that with love for Blake and hope for who Blek could be in my heart. She and Ruby aren't friends, I think that should be acknowledged. As for Jaune, I feel like Jaune should undergo a little mini arc of trying to act like nothing has changed for him and everything is back to normal, but needing to deal with the natural changes like him not knowing his old team well (focusing more on his relationship with Ren because as I mentioned, Nora would be a bit more focused on Ruby as a character,) not doing well with being part of a group, other problems like that, and that includes that he knows he should be closer to Ruby but now doesn't really know how to talk to her especially because she's acting different than he remembers.

Now to get to Yang: I think that whereas Weiss is aware of the problems with Ruby and trying to do the right thing thus causing Ruby to warm up to her but she's still preoccupied, and Blake isn't really aware of the problems with Ruby and is preoccupied... Yang's next arc should be focused more on her family. She can still have little moments with Blake so it doesn't feel like they just kissed and that's it (though I really think it would only be natural for their relationship to be thrown off kilter after the events of V9 which is something that should take time to resolve,) but Yang should be trying to act like nothing even happened and then get frustrated when Ruby starts acting cold and absent towards her, and frustrated by Ruby starting to rely more on Ozpin and Qrow (Yang being the one who seemed to have the biggest problem with them.) Yang trying to talk to Ruby about her cutting them off and acting like Ozpin (or Ironwood lol) could result in an actual fight between them, with Ruby telling Yang that she doesn't understand how Ruby feels, Yang saying that Ruby needs to talk to her, and Ruby countering that she has verbalized things and Yang just doesn't listen. Frustrated and angry, Yang could leave and try to find Weiss, who acknowledges that she doesn't think they were very good friends to Ruby and it's on them to bridge the gap, and Yang could be like "she's the one that yelled at us, not the other way around" and Weiss could then be like "Really, Yang? You don't think the things Ruby said were a tiny bit justified?" And maybe relate to Ruby's troubles or even compare Yang and Ruby's relationship to her trying to get back a good relationship with Whitley ("I ignored my brother's struggles because it was easy and I was too caught up in my own problems to even notice he was hurting too, and our fighting got so bad, it took him practically saving Nora's life for me to realize I was wrong about him, and now I have so much time to make up for! I don't want that for you and Ruby.") It could call back to Weiss and Yang's conversation about Blake in V5, it could lead to Yang really reflecting on her past actions, and then in V11 or something, it could lead to a whole big emotional reconciliation.

Basically, I think that the only way to properly move forward without ruining the relationships further is to lean on the natural consequences of what happened and make Ruby and WBYJ essentially... Not friends anymore, and have them have to get that friendship back. It's much easier done with Weiss who actively seemed to at least make an effort with Ruby in V9 (despite the horrible finish after Ruby got back from the Tree,) and I think Blake and Ruby need to have a bit of time before actually starting to be real friends FOR THE FIRST TIME because I feel like the lack of care in their dynamic has led to them feeling like strangers, and I think Jaune... Might be a lost cause atm, who knows. But with Yang, I think we need messy call outs, fights, crying, anger, and time for her to think things through, in order to get her and Ruby back on track. I definitely think that Yang's lack of care in Volume nine should be called out in the show itself.