#i'm a sucker for “the whole plot happened because of one little tragedy”

[theshalesky]

My fate was sealed long before i was born. Not by some god or prophet, but by someone just as human as you and me. At least, he was human at the time.

This hasn't always been a meticulous plan. The root of it all was a tragedy - grief, anger, more sorrow than anyone should have to bear. Maybe it was his fault. Maybe it wasn't. It's easy to say that he could have avoided it, could have chosen another path, and spared us all so much pain.

But maybe fate had always planned this after all.

[hollowtones]

what'd you think about jade shadows?

I put it under a read-more because I don't know how to talk about this without talking about spoiler stuff. The tl;dr is "I liked it but I wish there was a little bit more."

One of the things I didn't like isn't even really part of the quest itself, but I saw a mutual bring it up a few days ago & it's been on my mind since: it feels a little odd to have a content warning before your sidequest, and then not give you any way to skip the quest if it's content you don't think you'd be able to handle. Especially given there's a whole event & rewards that only unlock afterwards!!

OK on to the contents of the quest itself. There's a lot of themes of love and connection and empathy in the face of systemic cruelty or indifference, in this game in general, and a lot of how that manifests is stories about characters fighting for self-determination and agency (the Ostrons trying to stay free of the Grineer, the Solaris trying to destroy the systems that keep them in debt & deny them bodily autonomy, Umbra, the Tenno, the Lotus, etc etc).

I think it's interesting to try and explore a tragedy where we aren't able to help someone in time, where the powers that be have brutalized someone and we as individuals aren't able to get there in the nick of time & help them claw their agency back. I think it's an interesting thematic & emotional through-line (with very strong parallels to Ordis... very smart choice to make him the event vendor / narrator, I'm feasting good on all the new dialogue LOL), and I think there have been enough well-written woman characters in the game that don't get written out or killed for the sake of some man's tragedy or growth that I don't immediately roll my eyes about them trying a So Sad The Woman Dies story.

I do also think this would have hit harder if we got more information about Jade herself!! I realize "this woman broke a law and was completely dehumanized / made into a Thing by the empire, stripping her of herself to suit their ends" is Kind Of The Point, and they make enough of a fuss about "wow there's a lot that's redacted about her history, huh!" that I assume this is a plot thread they're leaving hanging for later. But I feel like the big moment would have resonated better if they gave us a little more info to establish this character, other than "she was heterosexual" and "the Orokin were fucked up, don't forget" haha.

(I do find it funny that the storyline about Ballas, who got Divorced So Badly that he Caused Nearly All Of Today's Problems, is all wrapped up, but the story keeps going "no no, don't worry, there's still plenty of opportunity to remind you how fucked the Orokin were." Here's these two people that broke some insipid law about conceiving a child & so their bosses and leaders broke their brains and turned them into bio-weapon lapdogs as punishment. Every time they go "BTW Something Was Deeply Wrong With The Orokin & We Still Feel The Aftershock Of That Today" I clap my hands like a seal.)

Warframe Babies Are Born!!!!! This little tyke is fuckin weird. What's their problem. I think it's weird and cool. I don't really feel much about "this character is a parent now!" type of storylines. (I did pop off when Stalker got to do his shithead honourable samurai defending a child with one arm thing. I'm a sucker for that & they made it coooooool. It feels like they're setting up some kind of "Lone Wolf and Cub" situation. The scythe being juiced up with BabysPower was also funny.) The baby thing is neat to me from the perspective of, like... This is something weird and new that's never happened before in this universe. That's exciting and kind of scary! I'm interested to see where they go with that. (Presumably in a year or two. Very funny to drop this on us when a completely different major story arc is right around the corner with 1999.)

Gianni's delivery was fuckin killer. I'm excited for whatever next arc they do with Stalker if it means they're gonna pay my boy to grunt and yell and scream more. It feels very strange to be acquainted with two people who've done voice acting in "Warframe" now. Me next? ^_^

I like our new Corpus weirdo. I hope she comes back. Fun to get more stuff with the Sisters of Parvos & with Mr. Granum himself. But I liked her a lot. It got a fuckin laugh out of me to have her through all the quest excited about her big promotion that she's going to get & resolving that with "Is that a fuckin baby??? Fuuuuuck! They don't pay me enough to shoot a baby with a gatling gun!" I wish her ending scene was a little more than just stoically standing aside but literally anything else I can think of feels way too cheesy or on-the-nose.

The facial animations on the Operator were really fuckin weird. I just remembered that. I thought that was just a thing on my end but I watched someone else play & the faces looked weird for them too.

Hunhow's a good inclusion. I like him seeing the Stalker stewing in his own misery because he hates the only people that could offer him help & going "aw man, c'mon buster, don't be like me now." I like his signature that he puts in his emails. I like that he's still an emotionally constipated weirdo that hates us but is still endeared to us in some way. (They make nods to The New Strange in his ending email, which makes sense given that this also feels like a quest setting up More Weird Shit In The Future, but I do get a laugh that it also reads as "JADE WAS PREGNANT? OKAY... WELL. DON'T FORGET THAT I HAVE A WOMB TOO, KID." Thanks Grandpa. Love you too Grandpa. Thanks for the sweeties Grandpa.)

The event quest feels like a nice bow on top. I like the parallels between Jade and Ordis. Wanting to afford her the dignity in death he could never be given. Acknowledgement of Ordan Karris is fun!!! (The line about him being conflicted with the thought of Granum un-cephalon'ing him has me rubbing my hands together.) I'm excited that we're getting so much of Parvos Granum lately. What a shit head. It's funny to see him so hyped up about Ordan. "Duuuude! Your history's famous killer!! That's awesome? Do you wanna work for me? C'monnnnn we both hate the legacy of the Orokin. Wouldn't it be awesome if MY rule was the one dehumanizing you and wielding you as a weapon instead?" This is something they've been establishing as early as "Parvos and Ballas in bed with one another doing shady back-room deals over a Warframe bodyguard and specter particle research" but it's fun whenever they sow the seeds of Parvos being so much like the Orokin he hated.

I wrote more than I thought I was going to!!! I like the thematic through-line idea of this quest but I wish they executed on it better. I like the stuff this is presumably establishing for the future. I really like the event quest as... not quite an epilogue, I guess, but as an addition. Other than that I thought it was okay! I wasn't expecting anywhere near the level of Whispers in the Walls, but that quest being such a high bar makes a "pretty okay" quest stick out to me a little, haha.

[tathrin]

Writing Year Wrapped (2023)

Ooh, thank you for the tag @sallysavestheday!

3 Favorite Fics You've Written This Year:

Of course we have to go with my current obsession, And In The Darkness To Unmake Them, an as-canon-compliant-as-possible Fellowship-AU that asks, what would happen if Celebrimbor got himself re-embodied and came back to Middle-earth to try and make up for his mistakes by helping to destroy the One Ring (and brought all his unhealed trauma with him)? Plus a slow-burn romance for Legolas and Gimli, a whole lot of delicious world-building for Mirkwood, and a more active role for Arwen too!

Five Times Gimli Died (and One Time He Didn't) is, I think, despite the simplistic and trope-y title, one of the most elegant things I've ever written, and I am very much in love with it. It's the story of Gimli and Legolas's romance, from beginning to end (well...not really end, because the joy of them is that they're a story that doesn't end—Gimli Immortality Agenda, you can't stop me!—but the story ends with the beginning of their happily-ever-after, which is a sort of end, no?), told in a series of scenes that takes place from Moria to the Undying Lands, and could almost slip right in between the pages of canon if you squint enough to overlook a little bit of meddling from Mahal on behalf of his new favorite dwarf (don't tell Durin).

To Live In Undying Lands is a series of snippets set in Aman after Legolas and Gimli cross the Sea, focused on both their new life there and that of our beloved Hobbits who went over before. And I went back and forth several times deciding whether to swap the placement of this one and Last Temptation... below, but I ultimately think that was a bit more of a stretch than this one, despite the fact that I Never Write Hobbits and am writing quite a lot of Hobbits for this one, and also I Never Write Snippets Without An Overarching Plot—and because I'm such a sucker for Gimleaf that if I have to pick a favorite between any two comparable stories, it's always going to be the one with them in it! (Also: Gimli Immortality Agenda, always!)

3 Fics That Stretched You the Most:

Dead Faces In The Water; Dead Faces Everywhere - I don't write present tense, I don't write modern AUs, and I don't write zombie stories...but here I am, writing all three at once! (Thanks, @katajainen! This story is 1/3 your fault, 1/3 @roselightfairy and @deheerkonijn's fault, and 1/3 Mira Grant's lol. And you were the inciting incident, so you get first blame!) And somehow having a great time doing it! (So much world building! I'm in paradise!)

The Last Temptation of Narvi of Khazad-dûm - probably one of the most overtly ambitious stories I've ever done. It's likewise in present-tense, although that's considerably less daunting now after almost forty chapters of zombies; but there were a lot of other balls to juggle on this story, including my first time properly writing both of the main characters as well as anything set in Ost-in-Edhil; and of skirting right up against the line of how close it came to all ending differently and making that (hopefully) feel almost like it could have gone differently and avoided all that tragedy in a way that, hopefully, both satisfies and distresses the reader.

And (I suppose this is a bit of a give-away, but it's not like I tried very hard to hide anyway; the anonymity is mainly designed to make people feel more comfortable offering con-crit, which I have no idea if it actually helped or not but I did get some lovely and helpful feedback on it, so I'm going to say the tactic has been a success) definitely Cliffside Revelations, which has the honor of being my very first explicit smut fic...even if most of the smut is an excuse for world building, which I'm sure shocks all of you lmao!

(And sneaking in an honorable mention of On The Far Side of the Sundering Sea, because my name isn't on the previous one so it probably doesn't technically count...which means I can slip in an extra story as a technicality, right? Right. Shhh, it's fine!)

3 Favorite Lines You've Written (loosely interpreting "lines" as sallysavestheday has cleverly demonstrated):

Oh this is difficult. Most of my best lines are only their best because of the context around them; and it's hard to remember them as distinct lines after their sections have been finished and posted. But this does at least save favorite and not best, so that helps; let's give it a try, then.

First, from Five Times Gimli Died (and One He Didn't) we have a moment of a revelation on Gimli's part, as he discovers that his heart might not be as alien to his Maker as he feared it was:

He stood in silence, staring at the unseen form of he who had made all Dwarves; of the Maker of stone and rock and mighty mountain. Mahal, who had made the Dwarves…Mahal, who loved the green.

This is one that definitely needs the context to make it work, so we're including the whole preceding paragraph from Blows Uncounted, a little AU-take on Helm's Deep where either the uruks are stronger or Gandalf is slower, and the battle has a darker ending.

For Legolas was not simply any elf: he was an elf of Mirkwood. Taur-ne-Fuin, the forest under nightshade; Taur-e-Ndaedelos, the forest of great fear. These orcs and uruks of Isengard, used to preying on earnest horse-lords and forthright farmers, had never met an elf of his sort before. Their northern kin could have told them stories of what befell orcs beneath the black boughs of Mirkwood…but orcs did not often come alive from those dark woods, not at least without Nazgûl to guard their travels.

And there were no Nazgûl here.

And taking a complete one-eighty in tone from the previous, I am quite inexcusably delighted with this one from Honeysuckle and Cider, and still giggle to myself whenever I re-read it:

"Uh," says Aragorn, son of Arathorn, King of Gondor, first of the House Telcontar.

(The line after it definitely qualifies as a runner-up, but I do think this one beats it out. Sorry, Faramir!)

Actually there's one other line I really wanted to put in here, even more than the one about the Nazgûl, but I'm not going to, because it's the very last line of the story it appears in, and reading it before you read that story would suck all the wind out of its sails, I think; so if you want to know what that is, you'll have to go read The Last Temptation of Narvi of Khazad-dûm for yourself.

3 Characters You Enjoyed Writing (that surprised you):

Anntar (Sauron), actually! I got to play with him as more than just a Menacing Presence in The Last Temptation of Narvi of Khazad-dûm and oh, he was so much fun! This was Sauron in full-on seducing-the-Gwaith-i-Mírdain mode, with maybe just a hint of how he actually wanted to be stopped, so that he could let the schemes for world-domination go and just be happy here with his smith-lovers...or maybe that was all wishful thinking on Narvi's part. Regardless, it was great fun to play with both failed and successful manipulations here, as well as to actually write something with my new favorite OT3.

Boromir may have come as even more of a shock to me, actually. I very quickly went from "distant fondness but very little interest" in Boromir to taking great delight in him, thanks in largest part to Dead Faces in the Water, Dead Faces Everywhere (and a little bit to Two Fell Into Shadow, although most of that was written or at least sketched-out earlier; but I'm counting it, because I don't think I realized how much fun he was fifteen years ago or so when I was writing it initially). Also, of course, his part in And In The Darkness To Unmake Them, although I haven't gotten to the point of posting any of his Grey Company chapters yet (shhh). He's such a wonderful sort of "I did not sign up for any of this; I have no idea what's happening; but I Am Participating Anyway!" sort of character, dragged out of his element commanding Minas Tirith's armies (where he's an extremely competent and confident fellow) and tossed into this baffling world of weirdness full of elves and magic and nonsense, for which he is so ill-equipped and ill-prepared. And yet he gamely goes along with it, because it needs doing! Whatever the fuck it is! He has no idea!

And last but certainly not least: Gimli, although this one may be less of a surprise; but it was a surprise to me how often I ended up writing from his perspective. I did not expect that, because I'm much more interested in elves (especially Mirkwood elves) than I am dwarves in general, and I've done a lot less world-building (a lot less) for Erebor than I have Mirkwood; but it's so much fun using Gimli as "the sensible perspective" (as well as an excuse to get really flowery with my wording sometimes, shhh!), not to mention an extremely astute and observant one, that he makes for a very addictive viewpoint character. I actually ended up having to make a conscious effort to switch to Legolas's pov sometimes, in fact, because it was so easy and charming to fall into Gimli's head and stay there! That was definitely a surprise to me.

3 Unexpected Inspirations:

This fucking dream! I still don't know what the hell happened to me that night, but it sure was unique and extremely unexpected!

And quite startling was the time where seeing the Legolas-always-looks-back-for-Gimli gif-post from the LotR movies cross my tumblr dash right to an Orpheus-and-Eurydice poll basically popped this whole-ass story fully formed into my head in one big rush of inspiration. Although the same thing happened with this post and And His Hands Ran With Gold and Shadow, so maybe I should stop thinking "random post on tumblr" is unexpected inspiration...

And uhhh....this XD

3 WIPs You're Excited About in the Upcoming Year:

And His Hands Ran With Gold and Shadow which I swear I will get back into working-on as soon as I get some of my other ongoing stuff finished, because I absolutely adore it! and I definitely want to write more on it! very much so! but the vibes required for writing it are so different from the other stuff that it's hard to switch back-and-forth between it and them (same goes for the zombie-fic).

An As-Yet-Untitled story set many, many, many years after the end of the War of the Ring in the Undying Lands, where our three beloved Hobbits (and one Dwarf) living on those timeless shores discuss their mortal lives, and decide when and whether to let them end.

The sequel to The Dark Reborn, because I am at some point going to drag my brain back into the galaxy far, far away enough to start reading and writing Star Wars fic again, and I fucking will finish this fucking awesome sequel trilogy fic I started, kriff it!!!

3 People Tagged to Share Theirs:

Tagging with zero pressure: @babybat98 @bifuriouswaterbender @katajainen

[inessencedevided]

The Untamed, episode 39 - watching notes

How did this show manage to make me care for these characters in about one episode???

Xue Yang is 100 kinds of creepy

How does he disappear like that? That's a power we haven't seen on this show yet

This whole revenge plot is waaay too convoluted to be only about revenge

Ohoh ... this silence is too ominous

I love how A-Qing still has her rebellious streak, even in death

This is too easy ... he won't die just like this, right?

Holy shit his arm!! 😱😱😱

Um ... sorry but, it's really obvious that the actor just has his arm tugged under his clothes 😅

Whaaaaaaaat???

He's not the guy under the mask???

Who???

Who is that and why does he want the stygian tiger amulet???

I was so sure that that was him

Lan and Jin sword style? I'm wreaking my brain right now who has a strong connection to both, but I'm coming up empty

Oh no, a qing :'(

This is such a brilliant shot! Goosebumps! All over!

And wow

All the awards for song lan's actor 😥

I am ... fascinated by Xue Yang's backstory. Like ... the guy is a goddamn sociopath

With the parallels of his backstory to wwx it's almost like he's wwx without his good heart 😥

So ... all of this is a direct consequence of what happened when they met them in the flashback?

But this isn't how "human affairs" should go or even normally do! Obviously, xue Yang isn't a reliable narrator at all, but all I want to do is wrap Xiao Xingchen in my arms and tell him that not all his good faith in humanity was misplaced 💔

"Stupid, naive, dumb idiots like you, who think the world is a better place just because they did something good!"

But it is!!!! The world on it's own, without humans, isn't inherently good or evil! It is what it is. Good or evil, that's up to us! In the face of the endless indifference of the universe, every act of kindness tips the scale towards a better world!

(Sorry, my atheism is showing)

And that's why I will always have infinitely more respect for the Xiao Xingchens of the world than the cruel and bitter Xue Yangs.

Oh fuck no

No, this will break him, won't it? 😰

Oh no 😭😭😭😭

Oh no

Honey...

"Say something..."

Oh god

Does this show want to set some kind of record for must characters severely traumatised in 50 episodes???

Noooo

No

Fuck

When I wrote that I hadn't seen yet ...

He ... killed himself

I am crying so hard right now and I feel like I haven't even really processed the full tragedy of this arc yet

What is Xue Yang doing?

This is so weird. He honestly looks at Xiao Xingchen like he is a doting husband waiting for him to come home

Ohhh

And now it makes sense that he wanted wwx to restore his soul

And why his soul didn't want to be restored ... because he killed himself. He doesn't want to come back 😥

The way this looks ... that can't be an accident

So NOW he's grieving. Because he can't bring Xiao Xingchen back, can't control him. Xue Yang has such a screwed psychy, it's fascinating ... in a very disturbing way

Wow, he's damaged ...

Oh no ... the candy ... THE CANDY!!!

Holy shit ... what even am I supposed to feel right now? 😨😨😨

Trying to parse that out, I feel like (and this is just my first impressionof thus and my very raw thoughts)... Xiao Xingchen and his kindness they did touch Xue Yang. But he was ill-equipped to deal with whatever feelings they stirred in him, because he had already been so twisted by the world and his own actions. And so he expressed his love the same way he expressed everything: with obsession and the desire to posses and control.

Honestly, I need some more time to really process this ...

They buried A Qing 😭

Oh, Lan Jingyi. I didn't know you had it in you 💚💚💚

Oh god, the Juniors are ALL so soft! 😭

Oh god I want to know so badly. What did Lan Wangji want to say??? "Fortunately... this wasn't us" "Fortunately... you came back to me"? 😭

Omg ... this is a parallel right? From behind they might as well be song lan and Xiao Xingchen!

Oh song lan 💔

The way he takes the pouch 🥺

And Lan Wangji's look. Maybe I'm imagining too much into this but ... if that's not a man intimately aware of what he's going through

"Roam the world. Exorcise evil beings alongside Xingchen."

I can't guys, I'm crying so hard right now 💔💔💔

Holy shit Lan Wangji's actor's performance as he hands him the sword 😭😭😭

IT IS A PARALLEL! 😭😭

look at the screenshot up there again!!

I'm ugly crying so hard right now 😭😭😭

Gimme a moment ...

Tge music in the next scene is really unusual for this show, almost jarring after I've just bawled my eyes out

What is that?

An entrance?

Okay no, not an entrance

Who is that????

Aardgfdgh

The Juniors!!!

The scenery us so pretty :)

Waitwaitwait ... I have a suspicion... no ... nooooo? It can't be ...

The butterfly toy ...

And the comments in the last episode fit, too ... 😳😳😳

OH MY GOOOOOOOD!!!!

The shot of the little flying thing! That's in that restaurant, right??

The comment about remembering stuff from when you're three!

IS HE A YUAN????

@sweetlittlevampire IS HE A YUAN??? 😱😱😱

I'm crying again you guys

Of course he is! It all makes sense

And omg, lan Wangji with the bunny lantern 😭😭😭

And now wwx remembers A Yuan and... the LOOK!!! The song!!! The bunnies!!!

The smile 😭😭😭😭

"Let's buy it" "Okay"

They're a family, you guys!!!! They're a family and I'm ... so ... so emotional!!! 😭😭😭

So much softness between them!!! 💙🖤💙🖤

And wwx smiles as brightly as before this whole mess and ...

Holy shit this episode you guys!!!

First I cry out of sheer devastation and now I feel like my heart is ready to burst!

And it FITS!!!

wangxian got the happy ending Xiao Xingchen and song lan never did. They reunited and even though they spent many years apart they have a real chance now!!!

And this, their child, this is the pay off.

I'm listening to the new album by Nightwish (my favourite band) all the time right now and in their song "How's the heart?" Is this line "now there's one who came from me / A child of light, another tale" and I can't help but think of that right now! The whole song is about how it is worth it, going through the bleak times, fighting through your own darkness because there is light and love at the end of it. It's worth it to keep fighting, just so we can keep meeting others with love. And I can't help but think of little A Yuan/ Lan Sizuhi (and god, I'm almost bursting at the fact that I can write that line!!) As their manifestation of that love. Their "child of light" :')

And even with Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan ... there is this slight hopeful feeling of "we will meet again", if not in this life than in the next ...

Guys, I'm so emotional right now

Sorry for the tengant. It probably doesnt make much sense put in writing 💚

I'm so sad and so happy at the same time ... :')

Oh god, lan Wangji with the lantern is so unimaginably cute!!!

And they gave it to Lan Sizhui!!!

SYMBOLISM!! 😭😭😭

Now, this should be interesting

How much does lan Xichen even know at this point?

Ohhh! That was nie Mingjue in the coffin earlier!

Why is he buried in Yi City???

I'm so confused right now!

(But don't tell me the answers. As always, these are rhetorical questions ;))

Ohhh ...

I have a suspicion about the ghost faced man

And apparently I'm not the only one

He has been "discussing" things with you every single night. Aha 😏

Sorry, this is serious 😬

(This has nothing to do with anything but I paused the stream to type and this was the image I got. I thought i should share :D)

Lan Xichen is so deep in denial

Poor guy

And again with the parallels! There is another Lan who has stuck to someone with a bad reputation and he's standing right there

And jin ling is conveniently reminding us of that 😐

So much drama

OMG!

That was smooth!

No, I KNOW WHO YOU ARE!

Just, "Wei-gongze" :D

"Don't take it to heart"

MY HEART!!!

I feel like Lan Wangji isn't the only Lan who will suffer an aneurysm from repressed emotions one day

@sweetlittlevampire @fandom-glazed @elenirlachlagos @allhailthedramallama @luckymoony @kyrrahbird @i-love-him-on-purpose and @sxnshot (should I tag you again next ep? No hard feelings if not 😊)

Honestly, this ep was the most emotional one for me so far in terms of the whiplash from pain and joy it gave me, though I certainly cried harder at the Yunmeng massacre. The prevailing emotion is joy now, though. I am such a sucker for mismatched, found families and wangxian and their child of light isn't exactly that, I don't know what is. I'm going to sleep with a smile on my face now. 💚

[sparklepines]

Howdy hey! I'm rereading your stories for the billionth time because that are so amazing and I was curious which one or ones are your personal favorites? Can you tell us one fav thing about each one maybe?

Oh gosh!! Asakdjkj that’s such a cool question!! I do have a special place in my heart for the whole Narcissus Gaze series, tho! Gosh this might get a little bit long but let’s see an order of personal favourites… 

WARNING: SPOILERS IF YOU HAVEN’T READ!

Narcissus Gaze series - I love their raw passion, their obsession for one another. It was the first long story I ever wrote and remains one of my favourite concepts. The idea of having a shadow, your reflection, falling in love with you is maddening. It’s intense and their love there is the most powerful of all of the stories. It’s violent and possessive, they will tear anything apart to be together. I loved writing their time in a mere bedroom but also Italy! The tv show Hannibal inspired me back in the third season, in Florence. It was so fascinating to me, writing someone depending on the other, writing this loss of privacy and yet succumbing to it. Seán changed for Anti, because of Anti. It’s what really started it all and the end of the year reminds me of them now, NG really has a piece of my heart.

Unique - I love this universe and I am so happy with the title! It was really hard to come up with the whole thing, though! I had headaches, trying to create a language and names for creatures, planets… The tv show The Expanse was a good inspiration for me and I loved creating the environments. Space itself is cativating and mysterious, so I wanted to capture that in a story. The music from Interstellar was awesome for that and I adore how their love is sweet. Protective. My favourite scene is when they just admire their bodies with pure innocence, trying to understand a new feeling. I loved their connection there and those special words. Another favourite moment of mine is when they are in Canthala, after visiting that small village, and it’s raining. I can perfectly see Seán looking up at Anti, raindrops streaming down his helmet. I loved writing that fear of losing something you love and not knowing what to do.

Choking on Flames - Officially the longest one I wrote all together and I just loved writing my own version of Beauty and the Beast. I loved writing their misunderstanding and building their trust. It was my first time having a baby in a story too so that was pretty fun hahah. I searched so much and read so many articles about babies, what to do in each month and etc. I was trying my best to be as Slow Burn as possible, it got frustrating in a good way hah! The whole story feels… like an afternoon with some baked bread and tea. Idk, I wanted it to feel homey and I think I got that.

the stars in your eyes, they sing for me - I’m a sucker for mythology, so I wanted to write my own! I wanted to make this feel as dreamy as possible, like the real myths out there. I know it has a bittersweet ending and it crushed a lot of emotions, but I love that. I love the fact that The Nothing has to go on with his eternal life. The prophecies in myths/greek stories/etc end with a tragedy. The person tries to change the prophecy, sending their son away, things like that… But it happens anyways. I wanted to express that in my way, giving my myth my own tragedy. I love how ethereal it is! I have a sweet spot whenever it comes to writing metaphors/ethereal stuff.

Tearing Down Doors of Time - Although it’s a vent one-shot, I loved writing Anti’s point of view to a more real world. I liked writing his nightmares and self-loathing. Writing angst/panic is really fun to me, I really enjoy that! Having that uncertainty in the air, the What-Ifs and In-Betweens, that sense of losing something and never daring to try… It really hits close to home. I liked ripping a piece of Anti’s life, of having him lose his ground. So many years passed and he was forgotten. It crushed him and is Seán’s fault. The person he loved the most. I love how that story hurts.

Drown Me In Your Arms - Concept is nice and I had tons of fun writing that. Seán is a leader there and it was lovely to write Anti courting the captain. Nothing really special or new to see in an AU like that, though? Definitely more light than what I write now hah. Still, loved writing his transformation and their mating ritual.

Of Burning Stars on Emerald Rain - I feel like I didn’t give my all in this one and it was really stressful. I don’t know why but I think the timing was off with me, so I feel bad for ending it sooner. The game Red Dead Redemption 2 was the biggest inspiration and I love western, so it was fun to try that out! Started as a self-indulgent fic, that’s why so much porn, but then I got really confused as to where I was going. My favourite thing in that one is their backwards relationship. I wanted to give a bigger meaning to a kiss.

Between Copper and Scarlet Snow - I love the title I came up with! I really try to give meanings to every single one of them and I love the visual of this AU. Another one that is nothing really new, except the plot twist near the end. The scenarios were one of my favourites, a cabin in the woods…. Snow, something that always connect them in stories. A lake and long ginger hair. It was fun and I wanted to surprise everyone in the end, running away from the obvious.

This is a big o’l ramble but!!! I got so excited asdkjaskdaj

[semirahrose]

(not SPN) I'm a sucker for Feels and Pain, and it sounds like Nirvana in Fire provides these. One question before I dive into what sounds like beautiful heartbreak — I live for meaningful platonic relationships and I can only justify starting a whole new show if there's going to be at least one. Is there? (Romance is fine too, as either a main- or side-focus, but I need my friend!shipping, ya feel me?)

Oh my goodness, Anon! I could not feel you more, and this show is so chock-full of powerful and heartbreaking do-anything-for-you friendships that you are literally spoiled for choice because you want to give your heart to every single one of them, but there is only so much heart to give and so many amazing non-romantic bonds.The vanishingly few romantic relationships absolutely take back-burner to the amazing friendships.

The answer to your question, in short, is an eardrum-shattering, resounding oh my god YES. In fact, I’m going to have to make a list of Meaningful Platonic Relationships, because this show can’t have a single character without beautiful and painful platonic attachments. disclaimer: This list is not complete, because if it was, it would be unending.

Warning: Minor allusions to preseries events, but nothing detailed/nothing you don’t learn in the first episode or two. Plus, going in with a bit of a heads-up will alleviate some of the inevitable and brain-bending confusion when the show smacks you in the face with its huge ensemble cast in the first two episodes.

Mu Nihuang and Xia Dong: The badass general and the smart executive investigative officer have a terribly wonderful and complex friendship. Both value their friendship highly but find themselves at odds because their relative places in the Big “Betrayal” put them on opposite sides. Despite that, they get along well, but there’s an undercurrent of tension.

Xiao Jingrui and Yan Yujin: These small, soft boys have the gentlest and most powerful friendship powered by faith in each other and Yujin trying to drag Jingrui out to have fun so he can forget his overwhelmingly messed-up family situation and the weird political implications it comes with.

Xiao Jingrui and Yan Yujin and Mei Changsu (who has way too many names so I’ll just use that one) + more: These two have a lovely friendship with MCS, and it’s Jingrui’s friendship with MCS that brings him to the capital in the first place, to “recover from his illness.” They all get along well with Fei Liu well, too. Bonus Tingsheng in the image below. Jingrui not pictured.

Consort Jing and her son, Jingyan: Want beautiful family bonds? Look no further. Consort Jing (AKA: Jingmum) is a remarkably intelligent and intuitive doctress and strategist without whose help nothing of consequence would have happened, and she loves her son (and her son’s supposedly deceased best friend *wink wink nudge nudge*) more than her own life.

Jingyan and Mu Nihuang: Childhood friends drawn together by tragedy. Both extremely competent kickers of asses and takers of names.  Nihuang “lost” her betrothed in the supposed “rebellion.” Jingyan lost one of the most powerful friendships you will ever have the pleasure of sobbing about. (x)

Mu Nihuang and her little brother, Mu Qing: They will never fail to make you smile. Mu Qing is entirely aware of his sister’s strength and competence but is very Smol and also is invested in her happiness in adorable little brother ways.

Consort Jing and Consort Hui: They’re just so sweet and supportive. Want a show where the ladies are relevant to the plot, varied, complex, amazingly characterized, intelligent, independent, and supportive of each other? Look no further.

Mei Changsu (also known as Lin Shu and Su Zhe because every self-respecting genius strategist needs at least three names to try to carry out a plan to bring justice to the unjustly murdered) and his hotheaded and relentlessly Good former best buddy Prince Xiao Jingyan: I’m not gonna lie. This one here is without a single doubt the ultimate meaningful platonic relationship, and heartbreakingly multi-faceted. On one level, viewers are ever aware that MCS is, in fact, Jingyan’s supposedly-dead beloved best friend, whom Jingyan still grieves even after more than a decade. On the other, he’s a shrewd strategist and advisor trying to help the out-of-favor warrior prince gain power in court. All of these relationships will break your heart and stomp on it. This relationship is the source of probably a good 90% of the Feels in this show. But hooo boy it doesn’t end there! (x)

MCS and General Meng: Despite his martial prowess, General Meng is a genuinely guileless, kind fellow whose friendship with “Mei Changsu” goes way back. The combination of MCS’s shrewdness in service to seeking justice and Meng’s well-meaning kindness is the sweetest. These two are adorable and I love them.

MCS and Fei Liu: Fei Liu is a very young, skilled fighter whose interests are relatively simple but whose love and loyalty for MCS are unmatched. He and MCS are unrelated, but have a relationship much like older brother and younger brother, with an extra layer of sickly scholar and scholar’s young bodyguard.

MCS and Lin Chen: Lin Chen is the ultimate troll. He is highly intelligent and takes no shit but quite enjoys slinging it. He and MCS are a platonic match made in heaven and annoy each other to death. It’s a beautiful friendship, with an added layer of patient and longsuffering doctor. (x)

MCS and the entire Jiangzuo Alliance: Li Gang for best Mom 2KFOREVER. They all love and are exasperated with their leader, MCS, in equal measure. (x)

Some more: General Meng and Fei Liu, Jingyan and Tingsheng, Lin Chen and Fei Liu, Li Gang and Zhen Ping, Yan Yujin and his dad, and so many more.

And this…. this doesn’t even cover all the amazing platonic relationships, only some of the most interesting or prominent ones. Any romance in the show, while present, pales in comparison to the friendships and family bonds. This show will take every Feel you have at your disposal and batter them in the best way.

If you choose to watch, please scream with me. This show is a journey I have taken multiple times, and the plot is so seamless, complex, and intricate that each and every watch brought new information and more pain/awe at how flawlessly the entire story was plotted. Every event has a purpose and ties into the story.