#i'm fine btw im very tough

[queerlyhalloween]

Guess who got hate-crimed for the second time in 3 months: as a trans person living in the UK if you even TALK about the HP game then die

I dont care about your "fuck this game" memes, just let it die in obscurity. Please. On god.

[luveline]

dear jade,

Im 23 and I would say I’m doing ok the scheme of things. I moved to a new city and my job is meh and I have friends and it seems fine but I can’t help but feel lonely especially because I have a p rocky relationship with my family members and sometimes all I want is someone whose excited to see me and do errands with me. I like my friends but most of them r actually moving soon and I’m scared about having to try to make new friends and idk I guess I was wondering if you had any tips on feeling lonely bc I really want a bf but also the mature part of my brain knowing having a bf won’t fix anything per say.

Hey!

My tips for feeling lonely. I think I was a very lonely person for a long time, and I'll give you my advice rather than what a therapist or a professional might say, so please take it with a pinch of salt. EDIT : I'm not trying to say I know better than a therapist btw I don't just that you can find that everywhere so I wanted to be more personable

I think if you really want a boyfriend, you're right in thinking it won't fix everything, but I also don't think it's a bad idea. The want to be in a relationship is one that most people will experience in their lives, it's very natural, and of course lots of things can go wrong and you can end up very hurt, but I still think that looking for love and a partner to be with wouldn't fix everything but it would probably be a good thing. BUT. it is also very very important to have friends and family too. Friends are so hard😭 and they move away and even if you make new ones you won't know who they are, but I think the standards for friendship are kind of skewiff these days, so my advice to you is to try and make relationships with people that are casual in a sense, but honest and caring, too. I know it isn't easy, you can't just magically clap your hands and make it happen, and there's a balance to be struck between being forgiving with people but not wanting them to walk all over you and your boundaries. (Sorry this paragraph is a little behemoth but hopefully my main point is that a boyfriend won't fix things but it probably won't do you any harm to have love and intimacy in your life, but don't try to fill the gaps that friends and family are leaving with a boyfriend because it may leave you feeling worse (which I'm sure was your original point, sorry😭))

I'm sorry to hear about your rocky relationships with family and I certainly won't stand here and tell you to try and fix them because family can be impossible and hurtful and too much to deal with. I hope things get better with them but I also understand that they might not, and I want to tell you that that's okay! Family by blood is real but family can also be anything you want it to be, including friends or a partner or people in your community. It's tough though, and I'm sorry!

ANYWAYS you didn't actually ask for any of the above and I'm really sorry if what I've said so far is unsolicited or incorrect, I can't pretend to know every detail of your situation but I think i can understand how you're feeling, like things are fine but loneliness is still pervasive anyways

When I'm feeling really really really lonely, there are a couple of things I do. I talk to friends (and not to tell them I'm lonely, maybe just to send a video or something) and I don't mind admitting that I don't have tons of friends, but the very best one I've made was through the Internet, so I definitely recommend trying to make friends via the Internet with people who have your interests in common! Friends in real life are sometimes friends because we see them a lot, which isn't a bad thing (it's actually GOOD to be friends with people who are different from us) but often means that we can find ourselves a bit unsure of where we stand or how to keep the friendship going when they move away.

I do all the usual things the Internet tells you to do, too, because this stuff sucks but it really works, like taking a very hot shower or going for a walk. Sometimes it absolutely doesn't work and then you're just walking around feeling lonely and miserable though, but it's worth a try. sometimes we feel lonely because we realise how unhappy we are and that we don't have anyone who's worried about how unhappy we are, if that makes sense? Like a consequence of the human condition, we actually do want attention when we feel shitty and there's no crime in that.

But sometimes all the usual stuff doesn't work! When I was at my Loneliest and most depressed, where I really truly could not see a light at the end of the tunnel kind of situation, I turned to writing. It literally saved me and saved my life and made it one worth living (as someone who doesn't have very much ambition). I think that finding a hobby and trying to master it or at least trying to create can really do wonders for a lonely person because it gives you a sense of worth or a sense of purpose outside of personal relationships. I always tell people I think they should start writing but what I mean is that finding a way to express yourself or finding a way to make things that you can look at with pride is great.

But obviously one hobby isn't going to get rid of all your loneliness, and I don't think it necessarily has to. I was recently talking to someone about this kind of thing and we spoke about this quote from a poem by ocean zuong, "loneliness is still time spent with the world." You will feel loneliness at different points of your life for the rest of time and so will I, and it's going to be very painful at some points, but I think if we can try to look at loneliness as more neutral, we can feel lonely without putting pressure on ourselves to fix it. It would be very tiring for you if you were always expected to fix your own loneliness. Sometimes there's nothing you can do and im so sorry to say that and to hear about how you're feeling, because it's not fair. But loneliness isn't like hunger, there's no guarantee that you can make it better by doing any one thing, you just have to hope that the world is going to be kind to you. When it isn't, you have to be kind to yourself! Try to treat yourself as you'd treat someone else going through a hard time, get yourself a treat if you can and remember that just because you're lonely doesn't mean you deserve to be, you're a unique person with all these interesting things about you that I'm sure people are one day going to discover and love, I'm sure people already do!

[the1weepinqguitar]

tally hall sketches and other assorted doodles

Here ya go guys! I also have improvement pics from last year! Almost two years in the Tally Hall fandom! Woohoo! My Marvin's CD is gonna hate me even more after all of this

A Ross sketch! I'm super proud of how it turned out! Below is a close-up!

The aforementioned close-up, showing the shading on his face and the folds of his sleeve!

Zubin! I love the side profile, and I used his picture in the MMMM booklet as a reference! Close up below, so you can see some of the more fine details/shading

the close-up!

Here's Andrew! His hair is kinda hard to not fluff-ify, but I dealt with it anyways and tried my best to keep it close to reality. Obligatory close(r)-up below.

next will be some other random stuff, mostly tally hall, but some of it is oc art

drew this drawing of Ross last September. Not amazing but very stylized, which I love/hate. the tag on the bottom left reads, "he's rather disheveled but this is the best I could do back then"

wtf is he doing? He in an action movie or something? btw this was last-year's andrew. very stylized. i hate it.

decided not to include the other last-year Rob cause i hate it deeply. this one's much better. very fluffy. i dont like the collar tho

just me poking fun at my horrendous attempts at stylizing joe. im not gonna draw him as much as the others btw.

This is from an au created by @bonkdd, but i did rob and andrew's designs bc i never saw his designs for them. i also added a lot of lore and plot stuff because i really liked the concept. in simple terms the tallies are robots that were abandoned by Marvin after he passed away so now they're falling apart n stuff without him to care for them (that's why rob hides his face). Anyways, huge thanks to Bonk for the original idea! They're a great artist, you should go check them out!

Edith, drawn/sketched with a ballpoint pen.

Another one. I like this one better, but I spent two days on this one versus a half on hour on the other so i guess it makes sense

Adrian and Reuben (OCs), done in a college-ruled notebook bc i ran out of pages in my sketchbook. next is a close-up so you can see more shading.

probably my favorite gay couple i've ever written ngl

Ace again, but wearing Reuben's favorite sweater.

Looking mighty fine!

He's lookin' tough, he's got the stuff, he's got the spiffy shades... (/lyric)

pose practice

Boll weevil, why don't you get out of your home? (/lyric)

old art jumpscare - i actually kinda like this one, might redraw it. Below is the full thing

why is zubes staring like that??? its creepy

here's another. i don't know why it's sideways. andrew is scared of joe btw, this isn't the entire drawing

Did an embossing peice. It's the Mojo Chessmaster! I tried by best to make it as detailed as possible, and I think I did pretty alright. The neck was probably the worst part to do. Below are close-ups

the head of the guitar was a pain in the ass.

This part was also pretty tricky but it came out okay. the dials at the bottom are raised as much as I could get them to go, so I'm not worried about them. My issue here was the pickups.

I also added Flansburgh's little signature guy but i drew his hair because why not? Anyways this piece took me a good hour or so to finish, I think it'll fetch a good grade (it was for my metal design class).

I'll add a sketch I just did as a bonus:

it's from a tally hall fanfic/au i made back in may after my grandpa passed away. It was a great stress-reliever and I still really like how it turned out. It's about cryptids and monsters and shit. I'll post a summary on a different post because this one was mostly for the drawings. I might post a few installments of it on my ao3. It could be a weekly thing since i usually have time on fridays to write.

Once again, a close-up is available below.

I put literal hours of research on cryptids and of the area (ann harbor, MI) while writing this fic. It was fun though, and it helped me a lot. Feel free to ask me anything about the plot or world-building !

[yandere-sins]

Do you currently live in Germany? Is smoking very prevalent there and for underage kids too? I know drinking is pretty common from what i heard but idk. Not judging btw just curious lol! I like your story times 😂 im still reeling over the cheater guy

I do live in Germany, and I'll probably never move away if I'm honest. Most other countries really don't appeal to me and I have my family and friends here, so no real reason to move. If I do get the chance to marry outside of my home country (which would be very appreciated personally), I don't think I would move away from all the benefits (unless my partner turns out to be finnish or smth, upgrades are fine lol).

However, I can't tell you how it is these days with kids, I am too old to actually know what's going on and too young to have my own lol. These days it might be a bit more prevalent than in the past, especially with parents too. Back in my school time it was more of a "cool kids" activity and there weren't that many kids in every class who were active smokers. I wasn't a cool kid per se but I had a lot of friends that were and they were smokers so occasionally I'd join and eventually it turned into social smoking with others, and then when I started working and there were benefits to being a smoker (more breaks, the stress would lift a bit, everyone was doing it so it was another way to socialize) I committed to it. But there were lots of struggles like parents who were still firmly against it, how to get cigarettes (you'd need to ask someone who was older or had connections), hiding it from parents and teachers. It was quite an ordeal. But like I said, no idea what is going on with the youth today.

Also "drinking is pretty common", is probably a stretch ^^' I did go out a lot as a teenager, but mostly on the weekend. I think a lot of people think giving teenagers the ability to buy beer and wine with 16 will automatically make them alcoholics but back when we did it, it really was more of a weekend party thing. And even then, most of my friends knew their limits and personally, I never met someone with alcohol poisoning while underage. It also was an ordeal as well because we'd only be able to drink outdoors or if one of the parents allowed it (but they'd usually supervise us), so if it rained or was winter, tough luck. And we got shooed away constantly. Sometimes we'd change the location 3-5 times a night because someone felt offended by the volume or us just hanging out casually. And there was only one 16+ club in all of the city, and I lived pretty far from it so there was almost an hour drive to and from to calculate, while also needing to be at home at midnight.

At the same time, when I finally turned 18 and got to drink harder stuff I pretty much knew my limits. I never threw up and can hold my liquor well, also don't suffer from hangovers, though recently I started getting stomach aches from wine so I'm refraining. I basically only drink cocktails, sparkling wine and seldomly whiskey at this point, and so rarely that it's hardly worth mentioning. I remember drinking a cocktail when Suzume came out in the cinema, so in April, and nothing since then lol I think the experience really helps you get better with these kinds of substances, and you learn to use them healthily if you're not drowning your feeling in them and just have fun like they are meant for.

I will tell you tho, the most garbage drink I used to have is Aperol Cola. No idea why my friend thought that was good. It's disgusting, overly sweet and bitter at the same time, literally nauseating, unhealthy af, and has no good quality about it. Especially when it gets warm, blergh. Do not recommend. You'll never drink Aperol again after that.

Looking back at it, partying was exhausting and even now where I'm free to do whatever I want, I never go to a club anymore because it's just a waste of my time tbh lol

But I really can't tell you how it is these days with the teenagers. If anything I see more smokers but very, very little drinkers. Something definitely changed, but maybe I'm just not in the right places to actually notice it.

Also, I'm glad you enjoy the story times! They are literally just silly anecdotes of a stranger, but it's still nice to reminiscence sometimes ^^

[villainsally]

gonna use this opportunity just to rant about yancy honestly because oh my god i love him sm. idek why really but he's my favorite ego

just like- he acts so tough and stubborn but on the inside hes all sweetheart and crap. Honestly at this point i just crave affection and im like super clingy for no reason but don't want to bother my partner who is so great and crap and i'm worried i'd scare them away by being too affectionate bc i don't think their used to my constant bothersome affection but like yancy's my comfort character bc i hc him to be just a lil clingy as well after a while and he'd just listen to me and let me cuddle him i feel like and jionlfifjfjfdjnfnvjcknefjo

hes great what

sorry btw luv i like completely turned it into a rant you don't need to hear like about my personal life im sorry if i annoyed you

Its fine, I rant more than ill admit. And yance would be great for affection. Lil cuddly boi.

I will warn you, I am also very clingy and affection-craving. So you can cling to me, if ya want, with little consequence.

[tacko3d]

Discovery

You know the thing about OC is that if it’s not Marketplace stuff OR JUST TOO COOL NOT TO SHARE, I don’t post it. Cause it’s mostly pieces of something bigger. And that bigger thing is simply not ready at the moment.

So you get close to nothing. Unless you follow on IG, where I post some stuff on my stories. ATM This stuff is way too cryptic to post. And is close to nonsense.

I do get frustrated not being able to share it all just yet. But it takes a long time to develop a world and ideas. And I’d like to make a good story.

So don’t think “the big things” are just asset packs. Asset packs are there to help me make it to the big thing.

TBH don’t care about what most people think. I just keep thinking about what Mutuals and Friends would say. Even though most of them are also just going down the deep end on their projects as well. So I know they’d understand why this has to be on the down low.

But here. So doodles of some sci-fi doodads and whatsitwhozits which have relevance to project, but without context mean nothing.

Might share some things I don’t think are canon anymore as this year, I’ve done quite the many restructuring in lore and story. Going back on certain decisions.

It’s been hard writing lately. But the vision is coming back. Ambitions are in check.

BTW, while ambitions are in check, I’m still dealing with quite a few things. Im fine. But not always super hyped. Vision is there. Focus? Not as much.

Lately I’ve had to choose. Do what I want or what I need. Sometimes they are the same thing. Other times, they just aren’t.

But that’s the problem with being the Hero, Spiderman. Nah but seriously, making the decision on what when and where to be creative is tough. And not everyone can do that. There are times I can’t.

For the most part, I’m taking a break this weekend. Cause it’s been exhausting.

WHY DO I SAY THIS? Idk 🤷‍♂️

I wanna write, but have no inspo at the moment. This new job has been draining. Theres so much, yet very little to do.

And with the month starting out, some conflicting emotions are catching up. Feeling certain things I haven't really spoken to many about. I'm sure I'll get around to it one day. But like, right now, I don't have time to deal with it.

It'll pass. Just dealing with it in a different way right now. I've drawn some vent art. But its just to blatant to post it and I'd rather it stay here with me for the moment.

I'm glad everyone is able to enjoy this month. Summer hasn't always been my favorite time. Its usually when things gets harder and this year its only gotten harder than most becuase of these newly discovered and not exactly understood feelings.

I'm finding a sense of pride in my work and myself and I'm searching for ways to share it. However I haven't been able to truly be myself and I wanna do more for myself, my family and my friends.

Acceptance I guess is the next step and hoping that others than do the same as well.

Anyway, I don't exactly know the point of this post. Maybe someone relates and might feel better to know they aren't the only one and you know, I guess it gets better? i don't know.

[honeymilktea-writings]

Hello can I have a request. Of a Yautja mistaking thire future s/o as kid due to how short they are xD lol (sorry Im projecting here I’m 4,8 or 142cm and a lot of ppl think I’m a kid) thank you ❤️❤️

Yautja w/ a short s/o pt. 3 ig lmao

when he first saw you he was p concerned, wondering why a child was left on their own

he was abt to walk away when he notices you tripped

he rushes over to help, "Hey kid-- are you okay?"

You look up at him and laugh, "I'm fine, but who are you calling kid?"

he raises a nonexistent eyebrow at that.

"You. um... you are a kid? right? I mean you are very tiny, little ooman." he awkwardly states

you just blink up at him in confusion. "pardon?"

and that is the start of a very odd friendship

He really didn't believe you at first when you told him you were, in fact, an adult and not a child

you had to prove it to him

which you did

successfully

he loves to make fun of you for how short you are </3

but he means it in good fun, never any malice

the moment he presented you with a trophy, you knew what he was asking

you gladly accepted the... odd skull

to this day you keep it on the coffee table in the living room for decoration, it makes him very happy every time he sees it

he treats you v v gently, at first not wanting to hurt you on accident, bc you're just,,, so small,,,

as he starts to get more comfortable, though, and he finds out how tough you really are, he starts to become a little less gentle

he loves to just,,, hold you

especially while sitting on the couch, he will just randomly pick you up and plop you onto his lap and just hold you like nothing happened

cuddles are amazing too btw

this man is massive, and you are not, and he loves holding you

connect the dots

you are covered by him, and it is so w a r m

very cozy

10/10 cuddles

[squeamishdionysus]

AAAA I saw that you do matchups for Encanto and I dont know if its still open so Im testing my luck here and would like a romantic pair for me! Its fine if it isnt too detailed!

She/Her, Filipina!

_My personality is like Pepa! I relate to ger alot due to me having anxiety disorder and just being stressed even in the slightest thing!

_I adore animals and babies! I would like to take care some of them and of course spoil them a bunch!

_I find the most randomest things funny, though friends describe my energy as very chaotic as well as a diva.

_I am a very emotional person, though I am working on it to not be as obvious as now!

_My love language would be physical affection, I adore hugs a bunch and show my friends how I am greatful of them by doing those or just anything physical alot! I am not very good at words so I guess thats why.

Also happy holidays btw! I hope your would be as great as you! More blessings to come!

Happy holidays to you, too!

Okay, so this may sound really predictable considering what you said about Pepa, but I swear there's more to it than that. I think your perfect match would be Felix Madrigal!

So, obviously, Felix has experience in helping people with anxiety. After all, Pepa is shown to be very anxious and has really big emotions, and I'm his daughter was overstimulated a ton when she first got her gift. He's also been there to comfort Agustin when he was feeling "unceptional," so we already know he's a very sweet and caring person who is willing to help anybody going through a tough time.

He loves children, and I think he would just gush if he saw you coddling or spoiling one like I'm pretty sure he has done before with his own kids. He screams "fun dad" to me, and I love that for him.

He's also quite the performer and comedian. He has a knack for storytelling, and I'm sure he would take every opportunity he could to make you laugh. He also clearly has a thing for women with a strong and attractive personality, so I'm sure he would love your diva side as well!

He will be there to affirm your emotions no matter what you're feeling and will guide you through them so that you don't have a meltdown or overreact to anything. However, he will never invalidate your feelings and will constantly reassure that its okay to be emotional. That's what makes you human, after all!

His love language, in my opinion, is also physical touch. I mean, have you seen the way he seems to hold onto Pepa every chance he can get?! If he's with you, he's most likely got his arm around you. Hugs and cuddles are a must for him, but if you need your space, "say no more amor."

So yeah, I think your perfect match would be the short king, Felix Madrigal!

[sharkiethrts]

i am so sorry, but with the panic attack request i sent, can you please remove the conflict and the thing that triggers them? its a subject that i am finally ending for myself. can the topic just be about panic attacks, anxiety, depression all caused by unhealthy mental repeatings of bad experiences when the time has passed but they still repeat the feelings and patterns when the period of time comes around the next years? please, and thank you so much, i will be fine but i cant forgive myself and i am really unhealthy. please do not be too concerned because this is a mess i made and i failed to clean up, i never mean to hurt people but i am immature and make myself a horrible, cruel person. i am so sorry that this is a lot and it is very sensitive, i shouldnt even be dwelling on this because it just exaggerates my problem but i really just need reassurance and assistance in improvement and maintaining balance- whether its through therapy or comfort.

It's alright! I'll do just that!

and btw lovely

u ok?

and you cant ask someone to not be concerned for you >:( ,,,,, because you matter a lot. a LOT. a whole lot. like a big loaf of bread <33333

and you deserve to be cared for.

i'm gonna like just give you a virtual hug ykyk <3<33333333

and you mentioned about feeling like a horrible person, i cant say "omg youre not horrible", cause i dont know you. but it sounds like youre working on urself?? Like AYOOO yes bestie lesgo!!! Slayyyy!!! get the comfort and reassurance you deserve and need!

but fr tho

keep breathing, keep going. i dont know what youre going through but it sounds hella tough wtf :(((

and if you ever, like EVER need help, or anything like that. im here.

you sound like really need that rn. and you really deserve that no matter what you do. even if you murdered someone, made someone sad- you deserve comfort. periodt.

if u ever need support, whether anomalously or not, im here. even if my requests are off, it doesnt mean talking to me isnt a choice :D

i hope youre ok

im so sorry for being so late for you

gosh i hope youre still here

have a wonderful day, night or evening :D

[mothmandibles]

Show us and tell us about you’re OCs :0! This is a threat if that is what gets us to hear about them :]

OK so today you get to learn about SOME GUYS from my story idea im callin Fear Corp rn . it's basically New Story that i'm taking all my lobocorp oc's and putting them into their new thing . general plot is that "This was a regular dumb office job where they process data in general about "what people are afraid of" . This is pretty valuable data considering people will Want it (lets say, if you want to make a horror game, you will want 2 know what people think is Very Scary, and not "lol stupid"...) But then shit gets bad LOL

Here is 4 guys they are all on the same Office Team. (Minmax uses any pronouns, Gabriella uses they/she/he, Eva uses she/he, Pippy uses they/them)

basically everyone in the corporation 'becomes' a 'fear'. so like fear of bodyhorror -> now this person can get lots of limbs and fucked up meat etc etc (You know poggers? their name is pippy now. this is them now.) . in fact pippy starts killing people and the office goes to shit as also everyone is slowly turning into a weird fucked up thing ! wuhoh.

EVA is the protagonist of the story . this is a video game btw. please imagine it as such. Eva is a very tired and didnt really like her coworkers in the first place so when shit hits the fan he's already very. tired.

And as everything goes to shit no matter how "WTF MAN! DUDE! WHAT THE FUCK! " Eva gets he will still be the first person to go out to explore the other office levels to check for survivors + to gather info on WTF just happened and why everyone is turning into shit now! Eva, has a heart of gold really, but she tries to be tough because well thats just how she is. But man he gets. so sick of it all sometimes.

ALSO: Eva thinks her power is 'slime', because whenever she gets hurt some 'weird slime' comes out. It's not slime. Eva's power is being the protagonist of a video game and being controlled, so "where there is a will, there's a way" (meaning, if the game will Want this to happen, it Will (example -> aw man i need a crowbar 2 open thing -> there will be a crowbar somewhere.) ) Anyways the 'slime' is literally just unrendered chunks of Eva coming out of her because the Player's will continues her to go forth even when his body literally cant handle it anymore but it doesnt really hurt or anything it's justkind of a Feature. anyways.

MINMAX is a very fun guy it's very jokester and then when things gets bad xe's like "OH. UH OH. NOT GOOD. (makes somejokes anyways)" <- but out of The rest of Eva's team, eva finds minmax the most bearable coz they CAN be serious and do have like. solid takes and ideas.

ALSO. minmax wears a cloth/bandage over their face because they got badly wounded there and... something started coming out. some Eldritch sort of shit that makes people lose their mind when they see it. so he has to cover it up. ...he can see fine out of it. .....tries not to think about that too much.

GABRIELLA is always "OH NO :( :( :( UH OH!!!! " all the time and is kind of freaking out. They are the youngest of this group. She just wanted everyone to get along and really though the rest of the team got along with eachother . but um. wuhoh.

ALSO: gabriella is a fuunny fungus

PIPPY is GOING THROUGH IT. The day all of this goes down, in the morning they did take someone's car and crash it into the building. Hope this helps.

ALSO: pippy's oldname was poggers. u might've seen this guy around before.

BTW i want to state. just because ppl Turn Into smthing doesnt mean they Turn Evil. like. a number of people are just normal about being a weird monster thing now. pippy (and a few others) are just. like that.

^Bonus Eva for the road.

[wolf-stark]

You ask I deliver — both tfatws asks in one!

tfatws weekly ask 1

i finally saw ep1!! i wont be able to see ep2 until thursday at the earliest but i already have some Thots on this ep. here are the ones I remember

first is, and i'm so sorry for this, a grammar lesson. an appositive is when you stick an additional phrase in between commas, dashes, or the like. i actually just used one! the "and i'm so sorry for this" in the first sentence of this paragraph is an appositive. thing is, most english speakers don't normally use them when they speak, only in writing. so i'm always on high alert whenever i hear somebody in tv or movies use one. (it's generally a marker of bad screenwriting). anyway there was one right in the beginning of the episode. the white army guy yelling at sam wilson said "first lieutenant Torres, our intel officer, will be helping on the ground." yeah so. the writing of this series started out on the wrong foot for me. but the rest of the episode was obviously tons and tons better (every interview i see with malcolm spellman makes me love him more and more)

the contrast between the opening minutes (falcon action sequence) and the rest of the ep.... i would 100000/10 rather watch a series with just sam and bucky dealing with life. i dont give a single crap about the flag-smashers or any of that. i just want sam, sarah & fam getting their boating business back on the ground & yeeting racist dickwads, bucky going through therapy and making amends, sam and joaquin being bros, sambucky homoerotic tension, etc.

the cinnamontography! wandavision mostly used cinematography to signify era n stuff. tfatws doesn't have wv's premise to go off of, so here's some tricks i noticed:

with sam there's obviously all sorts of shots with the captain america iconography next to his face, but he hasn't totally claimed it. there's the mural of steve rogers in the background; there's sam staring into the shield like it's a spectre of steve's face; there's sam looking into the exhibit, the shield and sam separated by glass and a layer of camera focus. steve is a constant spectre, always there, an idea, a symbol himself. sam's relationship with this iconography is distanced. he is separated by glass exhibit walls. by painting canvases. he doesn't yet feel worthy to take on that iconography. this whole thing was pulled off quite well but also a bit on-the-nose if only in quantity. there's just sooooo much fancy iconography stuff

speaking of the exhibit, there's something that i get real pissy about. it's when like, there's an action going on you're supposed to be paying attention to but the cinematographer is like,,,, hey! check out this location! or this headline! or something! there was a lot of that in the exhibit. the camera was like, you could focus on sam and rhodey's convo (which was fine but could have been so much better with an extra like 10 minutes of deep character study talk) but noooo you want me to look at the symbol for the united nations and read all the text about bucky who hasn't even showed up yet. shut up i know the lore and ill watch the shot-by-shot breakdown yt vids you don't have to make the shot this long jkdsalcjklasejf

my fav trick was with bucky and the therapist. i had seen a clip of the scene with bucky and the therapist beforehand and i thought the cinnamontography was super obnoxious, but then i was like, oh duh. the shots frequently change the distance between the camera and its subject. sometimes it's uncomfortably close and sometimes it's really far. a clear allegory for the duality of therapy, esp for bucky! therapy is an invasive process wherein he is ruthlessly examined, picked apart, and berated for his trauma (this therapist is crap in every way btw, "mean therapist" works for greg house and greg house only). so the camera goes close. it makes the viewer claustrophobic like bucky. but when he's like "no i haven't had any nightmares" the camera suddenly goes really far. we see bucky as this tiny head in the center of the bottom of the frame. we are distanced from him. he has pushed us away. we cannot see him. he lies because he is vulnerable. so yeah, amazing work there. the therapy scene was hard to watch on purpose!

did bucky slip a note to yori inside the dollar bill? bucky stop making me emooooo. the suuper awkward fake smile has me 😭 (veteran trying to adjust!)

mark my worrrrds when sam asks someone y the govt picked john “white bread” walker they’re gonna say “we needed somebody everyone can get behind....someone uncontroversial, someone everyone can see themselves in” like that exact racist dog whistle

tfatws weekly ask 2

just saw ep2 so im taking advantage of the 2 seconds i can be on tumblr without worrying about tfatws spoilers before new episode drops

when isaiah said "your people put me in prison for being a hero" and bucky thought "your people" means hydra. 🤦‍♂️

speaking of racism, the interplay between sam being Black (anti-Black racism) and sam being the Falcon (negrophilia, "can i take a selfie w you as i deny you a loan?") and the intersection between the two (j*hn lichrally called sam "steve's wingman"! he takes the crypto out of crypto-racist in like 2 seconds!) !!!!!!!! a Black celebrity's Black experience, the separation of man and identity!!!! (thinking about vanessa bayer in snl in that skit "beyonce is black" telling her black friend "you're not black, you're...my girl!")

after sam gets racially profiled by cops we see j*hn standing in front of cop cars cinematic parallels turns out j*hn is racist who knew

this therapist sucks major ass but she got bucky and sam together in the same room and ready to collaborate...that's something ig. it was lichrally couple's therapy she said she used her miracle exercise with couples sambucky antis get blended

bucky says "he was wrong about you so maybe he was wrong about me"...that's not how people talk. when therapist asks bucky, the guy who doesn't talk at all about himself, "y do you hate sam", the last thing bucky's gonna do is actually connect his hatred of sam to his own self-worth issues. bucky generally refuses to talk about himself, so why would he talk about himself in the one context that nobody ever links back to their own neuroses: hatred of other people? one thing human beings hate most is admitting we're wrong. admitting you hate someone because of your own issues? that's a major therapeutic step. bucky would absolutely have to be prompted to do that. even like one or two lines of dialogue more would have set up that line better. but in terms of the actual thought? an amazing way to take the sam/bucky relationship. bucky bases his self-worth on steve believing in him, and if steve is wrong bucky has no self-worth, so 1) he has to develop self-worth disassociated from steve's assessment of him and 2) he has to love himself before he can love sam, and 3) he has to realize that sam giving up the shield is a sign of sam's humility not his unworthiness.

conversely, we don't get into why sam hates bucky? yeah sam has the right to hate a guy that has tried to kill him (albeit while brainwashed) multiple times, and now shows up in his life just to bash him but. everything happens so fast i cant follow their relationship

in fact i dont feel like i understood much of anything. like y did bucky and sam go on that mission together? how connected are sam/bucky/joaquin with the government? doesn't bucky just want to retire now? literally what is everyone doing/feeling and why???

if battlestar becomes a knowing commentary on the black best friend stereotype i'm gonna party, but i dont expect much of that

the interplay between man and symbol. captain america is obviously a symbol. the shield is obviously a symbol. but steve rogers? the. man behind the cowl? he too seems to become a symbol. a paragon of a good guy, so good he's unreachable. steve was just a guy stop idolizing him the last thing steve would want is to be idolized

as the resident musician/music nerd on mcublr, 1) that captain america rally music slaps, but 2) re: the song at the end of the ep, if you're just gonna rip off mozart's lacrymosa then at least play mozart's lacrymosa. we wont blame you the lacrymosa slaps (if you dont know what im talking about go on yt and search it up youll recognize it fo sho

look i love enfys nest as much as the next guy but if tfatws is gonna get erin kellyman to play another innocent little gurl blackmailed into the fakeout-villain position (her text seemed to suggest as such) then 😡 like why can't women just....be evil? young, freckly, innocent-looking women? girls are not untouchable pure objects but full of rage and resentment just as much as anyone can be

bonus ep1 comment: bucky says about that senator whose car he hijacked, "she continued to abuse the power i gave her." fictionaldarling on yt say that he says "i" because he can't disassociate himself from his winter soldier persona which begets endless and senseless guilt. like dude. can i not be emo for like 1 second.

OKay. First off, as much I enjoy your sending it to me, what made you decide to send me these??

-

TFATWS WA #1

Don't worry about getting this to me as early as possible. I usually don't watch the episode right away.

1. Cool writing lesson.

2. Everyone wants a comedy show [like Friends] about the MCU superheroes.

3. Cinematography is always a beautiful thing.

4. Sam definitely has to carve his own Captain America status for himself, outside of Steve's ya know everything.

5. They have to do that for people who was just now tuning in because they're in love with Sam Wilson or Sharon Carter.

6. I think the therapist was taking a 'tough love' approach for Bucky, because she likely has some very strong opinions about the literal assassin she's been assigned to give therapy too. She did not choose to talk to him, she was assigned that make that clear in the second episode.

And, Bucky isn't lying when he said it wasn't a nightmare. It wasn't a nightmare, it was a resurfaced memory. So, technically he wasn't lying - and yes, the camera does move away because while he's saying he didn't have a nightmare, he's not expanding on what actually happened - so, he's still pushing the therapist/us away.

7. Bucky, and Steve, have/had a TON to adjust to.

8. Yeah, I agree that will be the bullshit line they give. If they ever actually talk about it.

TFATW WA #2

Yeah, always got to take advantage of avoiding those spoilers lmfaoo.

1. Honestly, that line was double meaning. Both about White people and Hydra [which is made up of mostly white supremacists/nazis] So, the line is gesturing to both White People in general and Hydra assholes together. I think the terminology is “double edge sword”??

2. This whole paragraph structure confused me, ngl - so I'm going to answer it the best I can. I do like that they're not ignoring the fact that Sam being Black is 1000% the reason he's not the Official Captain America - because the gov't is racist as hell.

I also like the little lines about how they point out little things about Sam's Falcon persona, like that kid calling him 'Black Falcon' specifically and Sam's response show the split between Sam and Falcon itself.

John is a dick for calling Sam the wingman of Steve Rogers. Sam was a hero all on his own before Steve asked him to join up again. [Side note, it's lichrally??]

3. Exactly, the parallel of Sam being profiled and surrounded while just on the street and John being surrounded by fans and being able to spring Bucky with apparently only a few sentences shows a Loooooot

4. Honestly, at this point I wonder if she's not actually a therapist and is just an agent assigned to assess Bucky outside of an Official Building. I do know, however, that her 'look at each other and speak' exercise is actually a real therapy practice. It's just a little slower.

5. Actually, I think he would've blurted that out. That whole line. I don't think Bucky hates Sam. I think they could've done the scene better, but I think that had Sam prodded him/the therapist been more annoying Bucky would've lost control of his emotions and blurted out the whole "If he was wrong about you, he was wrong about me" but I feel like the writing for this show is just... not there. Sometimes you blurt shit when you get overemotional and I think that was what Bucky was supposed to be like.

6. I don't think Sam hates Bucky, I think he doesn't trust him though. I do wish they'd talked about that though. The whole 'talk to each other' scene should've been a LOT longer and a LOT slower.

7. Sam and Bucky's relationship is being fast tracked because they don't really know how to work the relationship out, writers-room-wise. Bucky is technically retired, but I feel like he's trying to live up to Steve's expectations and doing what Steve would've done and we all know that if Steve was there, Steve would've jumped on that plane with Sam. It looks like Sam/Bucky/Joaquin are a side-team based from Military services but as Sam says they're all free agents so...?

8. Sadly, They seem to just be propping up to be another stereotype.

9. Captain America is a symbol. Steve Rogers is a man. But now Steve Rogers is an idol because of all the shit he's been through and honestly, it's not a bad thing he's become an idol for people - it's using Steve as a reason to make White Bread Walker the next Captain that makes Steve's idolization so fucked.

10. I don't know anything about music so I have no opinion here, sorry.

11. Enfys?? Also, I think they did the whole Innocent Girl Thing as side commentary for Bucky lowering his guard about seeing a young girl rather than a guy.

12. Bucky is the Winter Solider. The Winter Solider is Bucky. That is how Bucky will always see it because although he was brainwashed, it was still him and he remembers all of it. When you have constant memories of something 'someone else' did, you tend to not be able to pull the two personas out of each other. I want Bucky to take up the title, White Wolf instead of Winter Soldier. Honest.

This is all my opinion, I’m honestly a little disappointed with the writing of TFATWS so far so... I’m not really optimistic about this.

[realtransfacts]

What if you live in an abusive, and manipulative household and other family like that as well, and trys their best to make you be a girl (I'm ftm) and tries to convince you that things you know you lived through, etc happened, but they're trying to come up with every way possible and bringing up the past etc and trying to make you remember it in a way that didn't happen, just to make you feel unsure about being trans? They're also saying I'm dysphoric bc Im a girl an need to stay that way(pt1)

(Pt 2 of abusive manipulation home) And saying that I am a girl and need to stay as one. Saying that they’ll do ANYTHING to make me stay the way I am. I haven’t seen a gender therapist yet, and they’re saying that the day I do, they’ll make sure the therapist is on their side, etc, making me feel scared and helpless and have panic attacks, etc. I am a feminine, feminist, and somewhat masculine young man (almost 18, live in south in the United States) I’m worried I’ll NEVER get to be the man I am

(Pt 3 of manipulation home) I’m scared shitless everyday and unable to get away from them, plus I start college in August. I don’t know what to do, any any advice or help, or even nice words, idk man I’m worried everyday and don’t know what to do, or how to handle it. Sorry for the long, anonymous ask qwq

(Pt 4 manipulation home) Btw I don’t second guess my gender identify, just the things I like make me dysphoric sometimes, my family makes me feel shitty and say that Im not a man/trans man bc of it, and I feel like I need to be more masculine than I normally am (I feel like I have to be some lumberjack looking, sounding, smelly, impolite, dirty, “a mans man” tough, type of guy just to be taken seriously and to be seen as a man) Thank you for letting me bitch, sorry that its so long an dumb qwq

Hi anon, I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with all of this shit. You deserve so, so much better than to have to put up with this.

It is very good that you are recognizing that what they’re doing it abusive, that it is wrong, that they are wrong. They have not been able to convince you that you aren’t what you are. And that is a huge fucking sign of strength on your part. You know what and who you are far better than they do, so don’t let them try to change you.

I wish I could do something to help, but all I can really offer you right now is words on a screen. But I hope it is better than nothing.

Try to remember that your family won’t be able to control you forever. You’re still so young, you’ve got so much time and freedom ahead of you. You’ll be fine. Even if it doesn’t feel like it right now, there will be a future where you’ll be able to be who you are with or without their approval.

I know a lot of focus for transitioning is on teenagers. People starting hrt around your age, getting surgeries, getting several of their transition goals wrapped up with a nice little bow before they even turn 20. And while I have nothing but love and support for the people who get that and I wish I had been one of them, they are not the only ones who can live happy lives.

There’s plenty of trans people who don’t start to transition until they’re in their 20′s (me being one of them), or 30′s, or 40′s, or older. And yes, fuck waiting that long, fuck waiting times. The fact that we’re so often forced to wait for shit that could save our lives is a big cause of suicide among trans people. But the waiting time can be survivable. You can have a future. You can be happy.

And even if you can’t be out safely irl right now, you can still find ways to interact with other trans people online and make a small space where you can be yourself without worry - for sharing pride, for venting, both, socializing, or something more as well.

Know that you’re not alone. And that I believe you will be alright.

[imagine-fairytail-dorks-blog]

I

since this is quite a lot i’ll make headcanons…  

also thank you but tbh im just a normal potato. ;W;

Natsu:

Will challenge you the first moment you try to prove yourself to be thougher than him even if you probably didn’t stand a chance, and will probably end up admiring you since you tried to face him even when you knew you’d not probably stand a chance.

piggybacks are constant with him

actually finds cute that you’re smol, and will probably want to hold you on his lap every chance he gets

good luck having him admit that to you though

he’s that guy who would actually want to try to flex with you on his back , because he finds it adorable and a good way to train tbh

Gajeel

he would tease you all the time: ‘ oh, so the shrimp wants to pick a fight with the big boys, huh? ~”

constant head pats and leaning onto you to piss you off; also picking you up out of nowhere

but will probably stalk you whenever / wherever you go out on missions even if you’re in a group. he just worries but would never tell it to your face right out.

putting things on the higher shelves on purpose so you have to ask for his help.

Only him can tease them about their cuteness and height. everyone else will be killed with his glare

Laxus

a light teaser, not as much as Gajeel though :  “ ehh, and you think you’d be fine doing that with your height?  … “ when you challenge him.

fastest way to kill him: wear one of his shirts as a dress, he will look away so flustered because you look so cute in it, it’s so big on someone so smol as you.

probably doesn’t measure well and ends up hugging you a bit too much while spooning you (since you’re much shorter than him)

will comfort you and face (ahem glare off) people who wont allow you atop certain attractions because of your height if you get very upset about it : ‘ Oi. she meets the required age, and you WILL let her BOARD THE DAMN THING. Or I’ll wreck this, ya hear me? “

Sting

“ why are you so adoraaableeeeee?! “ - says while nuzzling against your smol frame, and pinching your smol cheeks.

would actually let you win in a fight tbh, just because he likes you too much and doesn’t want to see you sad # no fair Sting.

whenever you talk bad about your height: “ ehh, but your height’s pretty cool! i mean, you can fit in almost everywhere! also you don’t have to worry about hitting your head on ceilings and… “ (# based on a true tol mod’s story tbh)

is always ready to cuddle you tbh because you’re just like a smol teddy bear for him #sting why

Rogue

finds your height cute, like stop . you are making me feel things.

but if anyone dares mistreat you, THEY WILL DIE IN THE SPOT. 

“ hmm miss your identity. “ “ what? “ “ i can’t let you drink alcohol if “ “ WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST SAY. “ …. - Rogue intimidating anyone who denies you something because of your height 

probably would teach you some rad moves though for whenever you have to face off mean people.

also doesn’t want to fight you. why would you want to do it? he’s here to protect you, why do you challenge him? poor baby is confused\

Erik / Cobra

honestly he’s always teasing you about your height and the fact you want to fight him with your magical abilities.

defends you whenever someone picks on you for your height or strength  - only erik can tease you about it, no one else

actually lifting you up sometimes in private, like a baby just to get a reaction.

likes to compare hand sizes or feet like ‘ pffft yours are so uncommonly small and mine are so gigantic next to it. ‘

Lyon

Another one who like Sting finds your height adorable and would not take your challenges seriously.

unless you were really serious: then he would probably do it and even tell you what moves you could improve like ‘ ____, your foot’s too much to the right, you’ll lose balance quickly, also you should’ve waited a bit longer for the attack and catch me by surprise, etc… “

probably uses cute nicknames related to your height: ‘ my favorite marshmallow ‘, ‘ small pumpkin ‘ , ‘ munchkins’. # nickname fail btw

is always wary of accidentally bumping into you since he’s so tol in comparison.

[aibrechts]

(1 of a lot probably) aaAAAAAND I'm back! This time only at 2am tho haha, and as for why, you see, I met this wonderful, talented young man a few weeks ago and I wouldn't miss talking to him for the world. In any case, on the confidentiality thing, please don't worry meu amigo bonito. I trust your judgement, and either way, I /am/ still masked behind anon y'know hahaha. It's all good

I KNOW ITS BEEN LIKE A DAY AND IM SO SORRY everything is happening all at once All The Time sighs honestly i wish i could just lay back and bask in ur sunny conversation, even if just for one day;;;

that’s true, that’s true, i think i have an idea of who you are (or rather, which blog you run) but it almost seems a shame to figure out... that being said, if you are who i think you are then your writing is absolutely breathtaking, and as golden as your heart

(onto #2!) Chester seems plenty lovable btw haha. And I gotta agree that it'd be nigh impossible to find a better home for him. What he has with you? That's the genuine article, and you take /extremely/ good care of him and the others to boot. I'm sure even a famous boy like him gets awestruck sometimes by how lucky and loved he is. Poor Wisdom though! Like /damn/ hahaha. Tough break, kiddo. Tough break hahaha. That's what he gets for trashing the joint tho. {~J}

chester is the perfect man, it’s true, and wisdom is an absolute brat but he has his moments lol. he’s growing on me, similar to that fungal infection thats growing all over his poor handsome face :( i gave him a special bath for it yesterday, and he LOVED it, he loves being pampered. fifteen minutes of me scrubbing at all his itchy spots and spraying water in his mouth to keep him happy when i have to hose his face, and he looks so lovely clean now!!!!!

i know, i know, its sounds gross lol but it’s really not so bad. we caught it very early and he gets those baths twice a week, so it’s cleared up really well!!! 

it’s simply the time of year, i think. hot and humid, ponies sweating under their rugs, too many of them with stupid injuries - fudge had surgery on two of his legs a few months ago, and he’s about to start rehab; lulu got a.... skin cancer??? cut out of her stomach, and that’s been delightfully gross to maintain; rudi’s vice is flies - he’s very sensitive on his legs, and kicks so hard that he cuts his own ankles, poor boy; nikki went lame somehow and no one knows how or why but she seems fine now???????; and we were SO WORRIED that chester had an abscess in his hoof bc a big chunk went missing out of it, but the farrier came for him today and everything was fine, the hole trimmed out clean and simple. 

BIG SIGH THEY’RE....... SO DIFFICULT. so much to maintain, and rumple is as sick as ever but he’s old so that hardly counts. the only ones who are really maintaining themselves are wyn and louie, and i honestly don’t know how louie does it with how he runs around like a maniac all day. BUT ANYWAY!!!!

3 never did end up coming through lol so i’ll move right on

(and then there were 4) What can I say? Your silvered light dazzles even the sun, and inspires the moon and stars with its iridescent brilliance. It'd be a crime to put someone so amazing on hold hahaha.

i dont know much lol but i know im a saggittarius. i seem to be surrounded by scorpios at this point in my life, and i can hardly find a thing to complain about. you’re all absolutely wonderful, and i always seem to be quite taken with your crew’s company ahahaha. 

rather, im surrounded by water signs in general LOL. my siblings are each pisces, cancer and scorpio, i met a bartender last night who was a scorpio, and kimmy is one too lmao yall are everywhere and im Loving it

(#5 comin in hOt) You were also right on the water-affinity thing though haha. I actually knew how to swim before I knew how to walk, believe it or not. Anyway, that picture is absolute /gold/. It really is. And the prophesy was fulfilled so completely that even Voldysmoldy was blown away. You look dashing, by the way! 120/10 best wrapping paper boob stuffer. On the subject of talking though, /holy hell/ don't tempt me I would /gladly/ talk with you all day without hesitation hahaha

LAUGHS thank you i certainly try my best. my brother’s a good sport, and i somehow feel like a strong mix between him and the sister im now living with (the cancer, if you’re curious ahaha). every day we’ll find ourselves saying the same thing at the same time, and every now and then she’ll give me a strange look and say i sound just like leo, or even that i look like him for a moment ahahaha. 

it’s interesting, it’s strange. i’ve always looked up to them so much (being the youngest and all), so it feels oddly like a compliment, whenever these things happen. 

(#6)(just think, two more of those and you get one of me hahaha). Onto the sleeve tho! The circle maze sounds /fantastic/, and I bet it looks really cool right now, though I'm sure the finished product will be absolutely astronomical. The design you have in mind sounds /epic/! (for real though tatts are so expensive I feel your pain there hahaha)(may the Force be with you I believe in you)(you got this)(you SO got this)(you're gonna kick this resolution's ass). {~J}

lmaoo thank you thank you, i intend to bust so much money on it this year. i still have my lower forearm to design, but i’ve thoroughly plotted out the rest of my arm; the maze is given to inception, the next installment will be vaguely reminiscent of kingdom hearts, and pokemon will take up the space from halfway up my forearm before turning into cc beyond my elbow. so it’s just that part on the back of my forearm that is a bit of a blank canvas rn ahahaha

(holy hell I might need more than 7) I regretfully inform you though that I can't and I shan't cease to flatter you, because you deserve to know the truth of how talented and wonderful you are. And I definitely agree on the balance thing. The devil is in the details and complexity is key, so all the more reason to be proud of how amazing your works are! And /20k/? /Damn/ that's impressive! (and even tho I prefer halloween, I for one will gladly plunge back into the tinsel for you hahaha) {~J}

it’s officially 22k but i haven’t had time to work on it the past couple of dayssssss BUT I FIGURED OUT THE LAST SCENE so it’s only a matter of spare time lololol

(#8 because what's second christmas without snowmen? lol) I'm glad to hear you've got a pretty solid sleep schedule by the way! (and it definitely /was/ worth the discomfort)(still slept like a rock the followin night tho hahaha). I'm really happy that Alma appears to be defying the odds by the way! True to their namesake, and all thanks to their wonderful father. Sheesh. I knew you were dynamically skilled, but this just proves you're magical haha. In your care? I know they'll flourish. {~J}

LOL i am LOVING these message starters btw. yesss tho my family has always been keen on growing things lol. mum had a magnificent herb garden, and i’ve never seen oregano as big as what’s growing in my garden rn. we just planted dahlias where the sunflowers used to be and i wasn’t sure they’d be alright, but they really seem to be flourishing!! im so glad!!!!

(9/9 for the new record hahaha) I'm so proud of both you and them! Not to be punny, but I'm a sap anyway when it comes to plants. or, well, all of nature really haha, and Alma looks really great from the pic I saw! Anyway, speaking of hocus-pocusing, I hope today has been absolutely magical for you, as you deserve no less than the wondrous and the fantastic. Talk to you soon, meu amigo bonito! {~J}

lmfaooo i love that. and yes, their leaves are so cute!!!! so small!!!!! thank u so much tho, the past couple of days have been pretty great. I’m wondering if i can worm a morning off out of my sister, considering she’ll have a day off on sunday and i’ll be working at the cafe from 7 lol;;;; i desperately want to finish starboy, but time really is my enemy right now ahahahaa

thank you so much for all this, i adore you and i hope you managed to get to bed at a reasonable time tonight!!!! sleep well, i’ll see you soon