#i'm getting random sharp pains around the nipple

[gay-nidoking]

My right breast is doing a lot of weird shit and I'm trying to stay calm 💀

[wornoutmouse]

Yandere Tanjiro

Manipulation

Everytime I write salty sweet I think of peanut m&m's

Shout out to all my big areola having ass hoes. Pizza platter with the thick marshmallow tall nipples

You were so obvious and you didn't even realize it. Tanjiro doesn't blame you, many people forget how great his sense of smell was. So in the end he found it amusing when your scent would change to arousal and adoration whenever he was around you. In fact it entertained him

At first he thought it was misplaced, you couldn't feel such a thing towards him, that wasn't in your character. But all of his tests gave fruitful results. As he watched you from an unnoticeable distance He was able to confirm that no one ever made your scent change into any romantic auras. Not with Inosuke or Zenitsu. He even tried to see if you had feelings for Nezuko, she was always around him. But once again there was no change.

Even after finding out, he didn't care about this discovery. It wasn't the first time a woman or man alike has had an attraction to him. He knew he was handsome and everyone loves a kind soul. But your feelings weren't going to get him closer to his goal or keep you alive in the long run so he did not address it. That doesn't mean he didn't use it to his advantage though. On many occasions, he'd find himself teasing you subtly about your crush often.

Harmless grazes along your skin, being more extravagant when he fought with Inosuke. A few times he even waited around shirtless just to see you look away from him to hide your embarrassment. The sticky sharp smell that emanated from your body clung to your skin like a cologne. Tanjiro would even say that the smell gave him a bit of a high whenever it would fluctuate from the things he did. 

Getting real close to you with a neutral face to make the arousal spark before committing a distracting act of kindness to make the soft smell of adoration and content swirl and mix into your aura. It was fun for him, almost like a game, and soon it became a routine way of life. After defeating a demon and the buzz of adrenaline dies down, you'd go right back to your bumbling self.

But then like everything Tanjiro has had in life, it is interrupted.

It happened right after you all just barely made it out of fighting the spider family. You and the others were relocated to the infirmary while Tanjiro was put on trial. He was already agitated when Sanemi pushed his filthy sword through Nezuko's flesh. So in an effort to calm himself, he decided that a little bit of teasing would help boost his mood. 

When he finally ran across you again, you were lying in your own room resting. But not alone, one of the Hashira, Uzui Tengen sat by your side telling you stories of his battles and cracking jokes.

This would be fine normally, but the scent emanating from you was annoyingly familiar. You didn't even look at Tanjiro when he walked in and had a genuine look and scent of surprise when you noticed him. "Oh Kamado, what are you doing here?" Your scent still had its tinge of attraction but it had significantly lessened, not by much but enough to annoy him. 

Tengen excused himself when he noticed his presence adding a head pat as he walked past the shorter male. For a moment Tanjiro lost focus and concern invaded your aura as you watched his face contort into one of disgust and unbridled rage. 

Kamado, Since when did you call me that? Why are you giving your attention to a Hashira? What, am I not good enough for you anymore now that you found someone stronger. 

Tanjiro never took you for the power-hungry type, you can't be. No that's not it, Tanjiro adjusts his face again to one of a content smile. "Are you okay?" 

No, you weren't trying to abandon him on purpose. It's his fault partially, he doesn't blame you, his poor sweet naive Y/n. It's understandable that after ignoring your feelings for so long you'd try to move on and save yourself from the pain. But now it was okay, cause Tanjiro would fix it, he'd accept you, cause he was all you needed. "I'm okay, I broke my ankle and wrists." You raise said appendages to the best of your ability to show off your bandages.  

For a second a dark thought crosses Tanjiro's mind. How weak you and flimsy you were,  how easy it would be for one to take advantage of you at this moment. That's why you needed him to protect you. Someone so easy to break and seduce shouldn't be on their own. That's why Tanjiro would accept you, so you could stay close. For your own good.. All you had to give him was your attention and being. 

Tanjiro sighed but for a different reason than you would ever know. If only he could put you in a box too.

B "Luckily I'm not as badly hurt like the rest of you." Tanjiro sat at your side and picked up your limp hands. "I don't know what I would have done if something were to happen to you." A small smile spreads across your face, "You would never lose us Tanjiro, Inosuke would definitely be hard to bring down." 

The attempt to make a joke is invaded as Tanjiro cups your cheek. Rough battle-worn fingertips graze your lips. Tanjiro gazes at them as he speaks, his bottom lip worried by his teeth as his other hand ghosts over your bandaged wounds. It was a perfect performance. One that replicated the emotion of one who wants to make a move but holding themselves back. One that you effortlessly believed. "You don't understand, I don't want to lose you."

Tanjiro stands up and walks towards your door. Just before opening it, he turns with a doleful look on his face. "Rest up okay?" You nod quickly. Lips puckered into an O of surprise. Tanjiro closed the door, his demeanor doing a complete 180. His gaze was calculated and precise. Tanjiro had planted a seed of conflict, and all he had to do was wait till tomorrow to sow it.

You woke up bright and early the next day, wrists sore but thankfully no longer numb. Unthankfully, you were bedridden until your ankle has healed itself correctly. Sitting alone in the dark with nothing but your thoughts was a dreadful way to spend time. However, you didn't want to disturb your friends. "Their life does not revolve around me." Getting sleep was an inviting solution.

A light tap on your door shifts your goal ever so slightly. "Come in!" You try not to look deflated when only a Kakushi boy comes in with a pail of water and new bandage wraps. 

Similarly, Tanjiro was helping around the state trending to his friends. Inosuke was being difficult as usual,  only wanting the springer to fetch him water and tea to feed his sore throat. On multiple occasions, he had to dissuade Zenitsu from trying to propose to random Kakushi women that would help clean his wounds but in the end, it was futile as he returned his infatuation to Nezuko who wistfully stayed in their shared room asleep.

By the time Tanjiro got any time to himself, the evening sun was already setting and most had retired to their own rooms. Heading to your room, Tanjiro thought of ways to get you to succumb faster to his advances. The sound of a door opening made his gaze shift abruptly. His vibrant brown eyes dulled when he saw a Kakushi boy leaving your room again. 

Entering your room was almost as if a joyous bomb had gone off. The smell of happiness was so strong it almost stinked. You didn't notice Tanjiro's soured mood as you observed your room. "He taught me how to make paper butterflies and put them on my ceilings, what do you think?!" He had indeed taught you Tanjiro mused as many of the butterflies had deformed wings of all sorts. "So what brings you here.?" Tanjiro looks back at you with a soft smile. "I just wanted the check-in on you, you must have been bored being cooped up in the room alone all day."

You shook your head, "No Kocho was here with me all day!" Tanjiro bit his tongue but maintained his smile, "Who's Kocho?" You laughed, "The Kakushi boy that just left. He had originally come just to change my wounds but then we got so interested in each other that he never left." With a blissful sigh, you tilt your head and murmur, "I hope he doesn't get into any trouble on the way back." 

Tanjiro is on you in a second, wrists held haphazardly above your head drawing slight sharp pains to your inner elbow. "Tanjiro?" His eyes observe the dark bruises swirling underneath your bandages, your hair slightly matted and in disarray, since you were the only one who knew how to do it. "You're so soft…" Having no reason to leave your room you had remained only partially dressed as a large kimono hung around your figure. Your chest easily being exposed by unnatural movements. "T-Tanjiro?" 

The boy hummed, leaning down to press a slow kiss on your brown nipple. "Say my name again.." You're taken aback by the sudden boldness and the warm feeling on your breast. "Tanjiro, what are you doing?!" He could feel himself becoming harder underneath his robe. Even though he said he was only indulging your crush to keep you near, he couldn't help but notice how sweet your skin tasted underneath his lips. "One more time, say it once again." Tanjiro begins to grind on the leg trapped in between his. He uses his other hand to cup your other boob before biting down on your nipple making you gasp. "Tanjiro!"

Your smell begins to become more lucid and tender at your arousal peaks through the haze. Your moans get airy and each time you say his name it turns more and more into gasps. Tanjiro squeezes down on your chest before traveling to your neck where his teeth sink into the flesh there. You ground yourself by holding onto his wrists. 

Tanjiro peels himself away from you as you go pliant underneath him. ‘This wasn’t the plan.’ Tanjiro removes his robe from around his shoulders exposing his tan skin. He couldn’t focus past your addicting scent and you couldn’t focus past the feeling of his hands fondling your chest. The belt of your kimono is quickly unraveled, “Look at you.”

Tanjiro pulls your undergarments off exposing your body completely. Through the fabric of his robe he thrusts shallowly against your pussy. The fabric rubs against your clit on every thrust. Both sides of the robe are becoming damp. "I haven't even touched you yet and you're already so wet." The smell of sweat and sex floods Tanjiro's nostrils making him more sensitive.

He unwraps his robe the rest of the way, tossing it elsewhere to leave himself completely exposed. Tanjiro felt a sense of pride as he watched your eyes trail over his muscled form. He wasn't buff by any means, but his training in agility and swordsmanship made his body lean and bulked in his arms and legs. "Only look at me."

You let out a surprised gasp when delicately firm hands drag your body down by your calf. Tanjiro uses his fingers to push the skin of your pussy up to force your clit to peek through. His other hand holds the base of his cock and he swirls the tip around your clit. "Tanjiro please, I'm begging you!" 

For a split second a look of unaltered disdain crosses his face before a more loving one takes over. "Your face is so cute, it almost makes me want to tease you more." Yes, that's it, play the part of a doting lover. You flinch the further his cock is pushed into you. Your bodies combine into a pulsating rhythm of jealousy and lust.

You squeeze snuggly around Tanjiro's and he sets a quick pace. Your legs try to curl to your chest but are stopped by Tanjiro's own body cornering you to the wood floor. Tanjiro steadies his breathing on every thrusts until his strokes are as smooth as the water he drinks. Slopping sounds and your pitiful cries equalize around the room. 

Tanjiro knew these walls were thin, in fact he was betting on it. "Y-You're so loud Y/n." You close your mouth at the tease but it doesn't work. Just as you go to cover your mouth you're stopped by a hand and a loving smile, "Dont, I like hearing you feel good." 

You cum, barely suppressing your sounds, hips twitching when Tanjiro cums inside right after you. An unnecessary act but one that could ensure even greater attachment if your body accepted him. 

Expertly playing the role Tanjiro cleans you up with an ever content smile on his face, this time genuine. "You should get some sleep, you'll be more sore than you were this morning." Tanjiro puts his hand on the know before flinching when you call out to him. "Tanjiro?" He doesn't turn around unwilling to force another smile. "Yes?" He can smell your apprehension as it covers the smell of sex. 

"I know its stupid to ask this but could you give me another kiss?" Tanjiro sighs silently, "Of course!" He forces his persona for the last time tonight and heads towards your bed. Halfway there he stops.

L

"Promise me you'll only look at me from now on." You smile giddily, "You're so weird Tanjiro of course I'll only love you." Tanjiro frowns and you fail to notice the space between the two of you growing smaller. "No, that's not good enough. I don't want to see you near that damn Hashira again." And then it happens. It only takes a split second before Tanjiro's face is in front of yours and the cold kiss of his blade presses against your neck.

"You wouldn't want something to happen would you?" You shake your head as he knew you would, "Good girl." Tanjiro has no care for the shocked tears gathering behind your lashes. Greedily he cups the back of your head and forces you into a kiss. All teeth pure spite as he swaps saliva with you. 

"There's your kiss." Without having to pretend any longer he drops his smile. The sinister complex of a perceived hero shining through dark eyes. He looks you up and down once again, fingers tapping along his blackened blade before taking his leave.

[ghostonly]

FTM Top Surgery Q&A - Installment #3

2-Week Post-Op Recovery and Progress

Welcome to installment #3! If you're new here, I'm currently working on a Q&A / Series combo where I outline my experience with FTM top surgery as a large, disabled guy with ADHD and low income. I'll also answer any questions sent in to me. Currently, I haven't received any questions. If you have any now or when you're done reading this post, feel free to send them to me. I'll be taking questions all the way until May of 2023, when the series should be wrapping up.

If you want to know more about the series, check out the announcement here or visit the installment masterlist here.

If you haven't read the previous 2 installments, I recommend you do, as I'll be introducing terminology there that will be used in this installment.

In this installment, I'll be covering the healing and recovery progress of week 2, including the removal of the nipple bolsters as well as the regained ability to shower.

Under the cut, there are photos showing the surgical site before it's completely healed. If you're sensitive to scars, injury, blood, or other things that go along with surgery, please continue with caution or let me know you'd like a copy of my commentary without the images.

I wrote this entire post and then the page crashed, so this might be a bit shorter because retyping everything you just wrote is one of the worst things humanly imaginable.

Nipple Bolster Removal

The first big thing in post-op events is getting the nipple bolsters removed after 1 week. So, the first day of week 2, that's exactly what happened.

The nurse said that no one has ever told her it hurt, and I'm so excited to tell you that I was the first person to tell her that.

The nipple bolsters are secured with stitches along the perimeter of the nipple that are sewn up through the bolster. In order to cut those stitches, they have to tug on them a bit to expose them enough for clipping.

There was one side of one nipple in particular that hurt really bad during removal. I don't know if that particular stitch was just a bitch or if maybe there was some scabbing that got displaced from the tugging, but it was a sharp, searing pain. It didn't last that long and I didn't have the issue with the other nipple. I wouldn't worry about it if I were you. It seems like kind of an outlying occurrence.

Nipple Appearance

Hands down, the scariest part of recovery is dealing with the nipple grafts. When nipples get free-grafted, the whole graft isn't actually expected to survive. What happens is, the entire top layer of the graft dies and the base layer has to produce new nipple skin.

This doesn't affect the long-term appearance as far as I'm aware but, during the healing process, it means you have to deal with the entire top layer of your nipple skin sloughing off and it's very freaky.

Generally, when a part of your body is completely numb, as your nipples will be, the way you gauge if that part is okay is by looking at it. Well, looking at your nipples will not be any consolation. They will look fucked up lmao. After the bolsters are removed, they look saggy, smushed, and grey. This is normal and they won't look like this forever.

Here are some pictures I took after I got home and showered that day:

Showering

After the nipple bolsters were removed, I was allowed to start showering again. If looking at your fucked up, half-healed nipples is scary, trying to shower around them is terrifying lol.

Securing the Drains

Originally, my drains were secured in place with a strip of velcro that could be fed through some hanging loops on the bulbs and then stuck to my compression binder. However, when you're showering, you need them to be secured to something else.

I used an old purse strap I had lying around that I use for random shit, but you could use a string, rope, piece of yarn, or a number of other things. Just find yourself something long and cord-like, tie the ends to the bulb hanging loops, and then hang them from your neck. Then, use a twist-tie or another piece of string or something to tie the sides together at chest level so that they won't rub or bump your nipples or incision.

Nipple Guarding

I was told that it was okay if water ran over my nipples from where it hits my shoulders, when I'm facing away from the shower spray, but to not let the water hit my nipples directly, as it can cause shearing.

There are two ways to shower with these restrictions: you can manually guard your nipples every time you need to get fully under the water or, as I figured out in week 3, you can wear your binder into the shower.

Because I cut my binder in half the long way, I effectively have 2 compression binders, which makes this no big deal. I wouldn't recommend doing this with a wholass shirt under the binder, but with the barrier I mention in the section below, this is easy and comfortable. Wearing the binder into the shower allowed me to wash everything else and save my chest for last, which meant I didn't have to constantly guard my nipples while washing.

If you don't have the kind of compression binder that you can or want to cut in half, you can also just protect your nipples manually. This generally means a lot of washing outside of the water, then leaning that body part into the water to rinse.

For parts that require more submersion, like rinsing soap from your face or shampoo from your hair, you can use your hands to block direct spray. I cupped my hands and pressed them firmly into my chest above each nipple, keeping the bottom unpressed so that any water that slipped past my fingers could escape instead of collecting against the nipples.

Doing this can make your shower take more than twice as long as usual, so I really do recommend wearing the binder in. If you have two halves, you can then just toss the wet half into the laundry and put the other one on.

Nipple Graft Care

Vaseline Gauze

After getting the bolsters removed, I was given a pretty simple care regimen: replace a square of vaseline-coated gauze over each nipple at least once a day and then tape a gauze bandage over it.

The vaseline gauze comes in a package in either sheet or strip form and you have to cut it into squares. The fold creases make this pretty easy, but it's kind of gooey and obnoxious.

When removing the gauze, the dead top layer of nipple skin will want to come away. Personally, I'm of the opinion that it should stay there as long as possible, since it's protecting the new skin underneath from exposure. So, any time a notable amount started to come up, I changed which direction I was removing the gauze from to avoid removal of the dead skin. Sounds gross, but this dead skin is basically acting as a scab, it's just soft because of the copious amounts of vaseline being put on it.

Eventually, it will all end up coming off, but I wanted to slow the process to minimize the likelihood of pain or damage to the fresh new layer of skin beneath.

Protective Barrier

On top of the vaseline gauze, I was told to put a slightly thicker gauze bandage and secure it with medical tape. Unfortunately, I'm probably allergic to adhesive, so medical tape and I don't get along.

I did this for all of week 2, but in week 3, I figured out a better solution.

If you have any flat-fronted sports bras, don't throw them out, burn them, or whatever you plan to do with them until you're done with surgery recovery.

All of the bras I had were these simple, t-shirt material sports bras with a multi-layer, flat panel for the front. These have made my recovery so much more comfortable.

At first I was wearing t-shirts under my compression binder, but this led to problems because t-shirts aren't usually form-fitting, so they wrinkled beneath the compression binder and wrinkles being pressed hard into my skin, especially against healing scars, is pretty painful after a while. A form-fitting piece of fabric that only covers my chest was more comfortable as well as a godsend in the sudden heat of summer.

Here's a picture of that from week 3:

The fabric of these is soft enough that I can just skip the gauze barrier. I put on the vaseline gauze, put one of these fabric sports bras on, then secure the binder over that. It's great. Even better in week 3 when you start doing scar care involving ointment. If I had been using t-shirts when I started on the ointment, it would have gotten everywhere. Sports bras help contain everything. And, if you have a bunch, like I do, you can switch them out when they get kinda sticky with ointment. More on this in the next progress installment.

Pain Levels Changing

The Drains

So, week 2 was actually the most painful week for me because of the drains. Generally, they're supposed to come out after about a week, however, mine didn't come out til the first day of week 3 (so, after 2 weeks). This was because of the office not being open on the weekend and then my 2-week follow-up was only a few days later, so I just waited.

Generally, your body doesn't like it when there's a hole in it with something in said hole so that it can't heal. The drain exit holes tried scabbing around the perimeter which increased itchiness, inflammation, and made pressure, movement, and so on significantly worse. By the latter half of week 2, I was moving around and changing position and adjusting the drain tubes really often to try and minimize discomfort.

I don't expect most people would have quite as hard of a time with this for two reasons: Most people get these things out before the 2-week mark and also I'm extremely sensitive to skin-level pain and discomfort.

Movement

Movement pains in week 2 became more frequent, but less intense. This is because the overall achiness of everything went down and, therefore, I was moving around and pushing limitations more often, leading to more pangs of pain from my body saying, "would you fucking stop reaching for shit."

One of the pains that was most common in week 2 were these twinging, zapping, pinching feelings coming from, I think, the nerves to my nipples trying to reestablish themselves.

When you start to get these, they can be kind of freaky, but I'm like 95% sure they don't really mean anything. As in, just because they happen when you reach doesn't mean you shouldn't reach. Listen to your gut. They will happen regardless of if you reach or not anyway, reaching just causes them because it means moving the insides of your chest and your nerves are trying to figure out what that means for them now.

More Healing Progress

Here are a couple more pictures I took a few days after the last set:

The bright pink that you can see on the nipple in the left picture is some of the fresh skin showing through from beneath. As you heal, the dead skin will grow darker and the contrast will be more obvious.

That's it for this week! I'll be back again soon with another progress update covering weeks 3 and 4.

Here's another link to the installment masterlist in case you don't want to scroll back up. I still haven't gotten any questions, so don't hesitate to send some in if there's any part of the process you'd like more information on!

[mrs-takami-keigo]

Watch Me Burn

This is my second tile crossed off of my BINGO card for @bnhabookclub ! I had a little too much fun writing this. This may or may not have a continuation, we shall see but so far it will!

Taglist :@gallickingun, @honeytama, @hawks-senseis​ @thisisthehardestthing @joyousandverywarlike @shoutogepi @katsukikitten @prismaroyal

Description: During a mission Hawks saw you get a little too close to Dabi and you needed to be taught a lesson.

Pairings: Jealous Dom Hawks x Prohero! Reader

Rating: Explicit! 18+

Warnings: Bondage, Degradation, Unprotected sex, Fingering, Spanking and lots and lots of Hawks cussing.

How long had your arms been tied up to the silver chains hanging from the ceiling? No clue. How many times has Hawks spanked you? You’ve lost count. You know nothing but the pleasure the man behind you is making you feel. The way his breath fans over your shoulder as a single digit delicately runs  down between your shoulder blades followed by a sharp pain on your ass when his hand comes slamming down slapping it. You can already feel the affected area begin to heat up, positive it is going to swell in the form of his hand.  

“You’ve been such a naughty girl haven’t you? Pressing yourself against Dabi like some common whore.” Hawks snakes a hand around your throat, applying pressure as he speaks. “Is that what you are dove, a common fucking whore? Were you going to spread your legs for him, you slut!”

Another slap on your ass in the same sore spot he has hit numerous times already. A muffled scream came out from your mouth because of the pain, the delicious pain. Others would think you were insane for liking this but you could care less. Hawks knows what he is doing so you weren’t in any real danger, but god does  this feel good.

You are a pro hero in his agency, part of his special task force. When you first met him you couldn’t stand his cocky, self absorbed attitude. Every day you just wanted to punch him in his sinfully handsome face. Until that fateful agency party where you both drank too much of a ‘special’ punch and before you knew it Hawks was plowing into you from the back while he was pulling on your hair calling you every name in the book.

After spending time with each other you've come to realise that Hawks was a jealous kind of man. But it is such a fucking turn on, you recall how on occasion you would flirt with a random hero or civilian in front of him, just so you can be punished for it later.

You were on a mission that required you to infiltrate the LOV and befriend Dabi, by any means necessary. It just so happened that today was Hawks’ day to keep tabs on you, making sure the mission was going smoothly and it was the first time you’ve seen him in about two weeks. When you heard his wings flap in the distance you felt your cunt clench at the thought of him seeing you with Dabi. For some unknown reason Dabi had this odd effect on Hawks, and you were gonna use that to your advantage.

You could practically feel his hawk-like gaze follow you as you grabbed onto Dabi’s long arm while walking down the abandoned pier. As if adding insult to injury, you pressed your breasts against him as you continued the conversation and Dabi never moved you away or made a look of disgust, no it looked as if Dabi enjoyed your flirtations. You just knew Hawks’ blood was boiling as he watched you walk into the abandoned warehouse with the other man.

Which led you to this very moment, naked, tied up, legs spread apart, cuffed to the ground and a ball gag in your mouth as he has his way with you.

“What’s this? You thinking of that burnt douche bag while I punish you? You sure are shameless aren’t ya?” Hawks now stood in front of you, bringing you back from your thoughts. Both of his hands run down your chest going towards your nipples. Taking each one of them between his thumb and pointer finger, Hawks pinched and twisted them. Another muffled scream soared through your mouth. The ball gag was causing you to drool all over yourself, water started to form in the corner of your eyes. God did you miss him, even if you weren’t in an established relationship. You both had agreed that your jobs were way too dangerous and complicated to involve feelings. Nonetheless you missed your birdman.

“Have you learned your lesson baby bird?”

You nod your head vigorously, hoping he would get rid of the gag. Stepping behind you Hawks began to undo the buckle of the gag that was behind your head, tangled up in your hair. As soon as the gag was undone you spit it out of your mouth, breath heavy.

“Please…” Your words came out as a croak. Your throat is dry from the ball gag and your constant drooling.

“Please what? Tell daddy what you want.” Hawks moves your hair to one side as he starts a trail of kisses on your shoulder. Each kiss feels like it is burning your skin, your pussy begins to pulsate even more.

“Touch me please.” Your head falls back in pleasure as he bites down on the junction of where your neck and shoulder met.

His hands start to graze down your sides, his nails slightly digging into you. “Like this?” Shaking your head as you try to hold in a moan when his hands grip your hips.

“Come on baby girl you gotta help me out, you want me to touch you here?” His chin is leaning over your shoulder, golden eyes peering at you. The scruff on his chin scratching your skin every time he opens his mouth. Those damned skillful hands make their way from your hips, down to the front of your thighs before finding their way between your legs, just below your now slick cunt.

He is teasing you, making you squirm. That's all you can do with these restraints he put on you. The sounds of the metal chains clinking echoes through the room.

“Not there, please touch my pussy Hawks.” You try to push your ass back into him, feeling his hard cock press against you through his hero costume.

Hawks wasted no time when you walked through the agency doors. He swooped you up in his arms as he flew through the lobby, heading towards the basement.

A short while after you had started this guilty pleasure of your’s, Hawks changed the old storage room into a sex room of sorts. It was made of thick grey concrete walls that just so happened to be soundproof. He had set up the chains, sex swing and all other pieces of furniture in the room up himself, seeing as it was his own agency who the fuck was going to tell him no.

“Why should I? You were so ready to bend over for fucking Dabi of all people. Why should I give you what you want, hmm?” His hands on your thigh start to grip you even tighter, Hawks is trying to leave marks all over your body. He wants to remind you exactly who you belong to.

“I promise I’ve been good. So please, please touch me. I wanna feel your hands slip between my slick pussy lips and play with my clit, I’m begging you.” You make sure to grind your bare ass against him one more time to get your point across.

“How can I resist when my baby bird is begging like the good fucking slut she is.” While still behind you, Hawks slips two of his digits past your wet folds, landing on your hardened clit. Pure ecstasy runs through your body as Hawks applies pressure while sliding his two fingers over it slowly and repeatedly. “Goddamn! You’re so fucking wet. If I'm not careful my fingers might just slide into that tight pussy of yours.”

His wet, hot tongue licks the shell of your ear, his canine teeth bite down on the cartilage. Hawks' free hand has come up to palm your breast, your nipple slipping between his fingers allowing him to pinch you again. Your mind is getting fuzzy from all the different sensations you are experiencing.

“Aah fuck Hawks!” Without warning he had slipped his digits into your core, stretching your walls.

“Oops, my hand slipped.” he chuckled, his fingers started to move in and out of you. “Mmm fuck baby girl I missed this pussy of yours.”

Hawks starts to grind his pelvis against your ass, his confined hard cock rubbing between your ass cheeks. “You don’t know how crazy you make me feel.” You have wrapped your hands around the metal chain, gripping it so hard your hands have started to cramp. With each word he speaks Hawks gets faster and faster.

“You know what I had to do while you were gone? I had to fucking touch myself. My hand pumped my cock as I imagined it was your tight cunt sucking me in. Shit, someone mentioned your name in a meeting and all I could hear was your voice, screaming, moaning as I pounded into you.”  

You can feel yourself about to come, the sounds of your wet pussy juices sloshing as he finger-fucks you. His voice, god his fucking voice. It’s so low, almost like a growl, it sends vibrations through your body.

Limbs start to shake as he drives you closer and closer to the edge. This doesn’t go unnoticed by the blonde man behind you. With a smirk Hawks nuzzles himself into the side of your neck.

“Let me feel you cum all over my hand baby, I wanna feel it.” He sucks hard on your neck, delicious pain shot through you again.

“AAH!” That is all you can scream as your walls tighten around his fingers, cumming all over them. Your lower stomach convulsing against his sturdy body. When Hawks pulls his fingers out he makes sure to brush against your sensitive clit, sending shock waves to your system.

“Look at this mess you made baby.” He brings his fingers up to your face, showing you just exactly how much you came for him. Both his pointer and middle finger were saturated with your essence, it was beautiful.

“Good thing I'm starving.” Eyes watch his fingers as he brings them to his lips. That pink tongue making its appearance again, taking a languid lick of your juices before putting both fingers into his mouth.

“So fucking delicious. I will never get tired of the way you taste.” You feel your already sensitive cunt ache as he cleans off his fingers, moaning as he does so.

“Kiss me.”

Hawks looks at you with a slightly shocked expression. You may have had sex in almost every possible position, scenario and way but you never kissed. It was something neither of you had brought up and seemed very intimate, which is what this wasn’t.

“Kiss me Hawks please!” The desperation in your voice and the way you had light drool falling from your lips, hair sticking to your sweaty forehead, face flushed and your breath shallow. Hawks couldn’t hold himself back.

Gripping your jaw with his hand, Hawks holds your face as he brings his face closer to your own. Molten golden eyes never leave yours as your breath mingles with his. That's when he slams his lips against yours. The passion that ignites your body from his lips as they move against your own is intoxicating.

Hawks let out a shuddering breath when you arch your back, rubbing against him. He is losing himself in your kiss. Hawks had imagined what it would be like to kiss you more than once but fucking hell was this better than anything his imagination could ever come up with.  

The kiss turned from passion to carnal desire. Tongues fighting for dominance and teeth clashing, a kiss that would make aphrodite herself blush. Hawks breaks away from you, his breathing matching yours and now it’s his turn to have his face flushed and lips swollen.

“Fuck…” That is all he says, keeping his eyes closed, trying to burn the feeling of your lips on his, in his memory. You are still moving your hips, gyrating into his pelvis. Soon you feel large hands on your hips, ceasing your movements to a halt.

“If you keep doing that I'm gonna cum in my pants baby girl.” Your head was still turned to the side, leaning on his bare shoulder.

“Then fuck me Hawks.” You move your head forward kissing his neck, earning a low moan in return. “I want you, no, I need you.”

Hawks growls before backing away from you and bending down, using the key on his wrist to unlock the cuffs around your ankles. You relish in the feeling of your ankles being freed from the metal clasps. Hawks stood up after unlocking both, and began undoing the buckle and button on his pants.

“Aren’t you gonna unlock my wrists?” You shake your numb arms causing the chains to clink together loudly.

“Oh no I’m still fucking pissed. Your gonna have to use your upper body strength as I fuck you sweet heart.” His eyes are dark with lust as he gets rid of his pants, palming his hard cock.

“Grab onto the chains beautiful and lift your legs for me.” Doing as he said you grabbed the chains while using your core to pull your legs up, wrapping them around his waist.

“Now lean back.” Leaning back as far as you could, you watch in amazement as Hawks spat on his dick. “You ready?”

God were you ever. Nodding your head, Hawks wraps a hand around your waist as he positions himself against your throbbing hole.

“Oh! Fuck!” Hawks snapped his hips forward not giving you a chance to have your walls stretch for him.

Hawks coos at the feeling of you wrapped around his dick, at how wet you still are for him. “Hold on tight baby bird cause I’m not stopping til we both fucking cum, ya hear me?” You couldn’t even get a word in before he started to plow in to you.

The sound of skin slapping and your desperate moans of pleasure ring throughout the room. Hawks’ blonde hair that is usually pushed back is falling in his face, mouth open as his growls and moans mix with yours. A light sheen of sweat starts to form on his chest, glistening in the fluorescent lights of the basement. You aree still holding onto the chains but your arms are already weak from being up for so long that right now they are ready to just let go.

Seeing your arm shaking Hawks moves one of his hands to your clit, rubbing it with his thumb. This action causes a shock to your system making you lose your grip on the chain, you drop slightly.

“SHIT! Right there, don’t stop!” Because of the slip it made Hawks hit that small bundle of nerves, you throw your head back in pleasure.

“Fuck baby. You look so sexy right now.” He grits out through clenched teeth, sharp intakes of breath between each sentence.”I can see my dick disappear inside the tight cunt of yours. It’s so fucking pretty!”

You can feel that sensation coming back again, you are about to cum, you are about to cum hard.

“That’s it baby cum, cum with me!” his hips and thumb pick up their pace, your toes curl as you feel it.

“Fuck Keigo!” You don’t know what compelled you to say his real name but it's what sent Hawks over the edge and before he knew it, he was cumming inside of you. His hips falter as he empties himself inside of you.  

You both stay in that position, him holding you by your hips, his dick still buried deep inside of you. Chests moving rapidly, up and down.

“Hold on I’m gonna let you down now.” He slowly slides out of you, grabbing a hold of your waist, Hawks brings you closer to him as he unlocks the clamps on your wrists. Once free your arms came down like rocks, slumping themselves over his shoulders. Leaning your forehead against his damp shoulder, Hawks walks you towards the bed he had put down there.

Gently he places you on the bed, his hand placed behind your head, setting it down gently on the pillow.

“I’m just gonna get a warm rag for you okay?” His voice is so tender and warm, it makes you feel safe. He quickly throws on his pants and jacket, zippering it up before he flies out of the room. You assumed it was already late, meaning no one will really be around to see him flying around grabbing the things you need.

In a matter of minutes Hawks flies back into the room, his vermillion wings stretched out. He has a lot of items bunched in his arms. Dropping them on the bed Hawks shed himself of his jacket. Grabbing a rag that still had steam coming off of it, he walked closer to you.

“Thank you.” You reach out to grab it, only to have your hands swatted away by his.

“I’ll do it, just lay down.” Hawks pushes you back down to the bed softly as he begins to clean you up with the rag. You’ve never seen Hawks be this attentive before. Sure he’s cuddled you and would caress your hair as you fell asleep, but he's never cleaned you up.

“There we go.” He stood up straight looking at his handy work. “I brought you some icy-hot patches for your muscles and aleve if you need. And what else.” Hawks started to rummage through the pile of drinks, snacks, other pain relievers if you needed.

Sitting up you grab his forearm trying to grab his attention. Once his eyes met yours you spoke. “Just come and lay down with me please?” You tug on his arm, dragging him onto the bed.

Smiling Hawks climbs onto the bed. Turning to face him, you snuggle up against his chest using his arm as a pillow, his chin rests on the crown of your head. You can feel his arm drape across your waist, pulling you in, the arm you were resting your head on came up to play with your hair. Legs mingled together, a plush red wing coming across your body covering you like a blanket, your breath evening out drifting off to sleep.

“What the hell have you done to me?” Hawks' own eyes started to close, as he too drifted into a deep sleep.

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Fifty-Seven

A/N: this is kinda raunchy. I'm not sorry.

Word count: 4K

Warning(s): explicit language, explicit sexual situations, mentions of drug abuse

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1981

"...Shh." Nikki chuckles out in a smile, his hand over my mouth as he comes up for a second so I can calm down. "If your parents hear you, I'm fucked."

"I'm sorry, you've been going down on me the past hour, I'm really sensetive right now, and I thought you didn't care." I whisper, quoting him from something he's said before.

He just smirks.

"I thought about it and decided if we get caught, I won't be able to do this..." He tugs my nipple with his teeth for a moment, causing me to gasp out. "...or this..." he pushes two fingers into my slick cunt and I arch my back, the delicious friction causing my body to crave more. "...or this." He goes back to where he was, his tongue working at my swollen clit.

I take in a sharp breath, trying to keep from moaning too loud as he devours me and every last drop of sticky-sweet running out of me.

"Oh, fuck, daddy." I whine out, my hips bucking up, grinding against his feasting mouth, only causing him to move his tongue faster and more deliberately.

He hums at the sound, his dark eyes glancing up at me, his hands keeping my thighs spread wide open as he sucks at my clit, making my eyes roll back, my toes curl, and a wanton moan leaves my lips as my pussy tenses and relaxes repeatedly, wanting to be filled and abused.

Nikki finishes licking the cum from between my legs, before laying beside me as my exhausted body tries to wind down.

"You don't want me to do anything for you?" I ask him, taking deep breaths, blinking slowly at him.

He shakes his head, giving me a little smile, before pulling the covers up to my chin so I don't have to.

"No, Viv, getting to eat you for over an hour straight is repayment enough." He chuckles and my face burns red.

"Quit saying it like that." I cover my face with my hands.

"That's what I was doing, was it not?"

"I guess, but you don't have to be so..." I wrinkle my nose for a second. "...I don't know."

"Oh, so you can call me 'daddy' but when I call it 'eating', it's the end of the world?" He looks at me and I narrow my eyes at him.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I deny his accusation and he raises his brows.

"Oh, please, Viv, you scream it out like a bitch in heat almost everytime we fuck around."

"Fine, then, I'll stop." I shrug and he snaps his attention to me.

"I didn't say I didn't like it, it's just amusing to hear it from you, of all people, Saint Viv."

"Shut up, Devil Spawn." I shove at his arm.

"Ow." He complains, rubbing his hand over where I hit him, pretending to be hurt.

I roll my eyes and he mocks me, causing me to shove at his arm again.

"Do it again, see what happens." He threatens and I, spitefully, do it again.

I don't have time to react before he's snatching me onto him, grasping my wrists in his hands as he tickles at my stomach, causing me to double over and try to keep from waking my parents.

"Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" I whisper yell and he stops, allowing me to catch my breath and he laughs arrogantly, his rough palms rubbing up and down my thighs, calmly, his smile slowly starting fade as he looks up at me.

"What is it?" I ask him, self-consciously pulling the covers back around me to cover my chest.

"You're beautiful." He says lowly, his hand coming up to brush my red hair from my face.

"Don't be weird." I say in regards to whatever the hell is happening between us.

We've only messed around a handful of times and I've been trying not to get attached because there's no point. I don't need him bullshitting me just for the hell of it.

"I'm being honest, Viv. You are."

"So is every other girl you have fun with. We're already fooling around anytime either of us wants it, you can stop trying to tell me nice stuff so I'll let you between my legs, Nikki." I laugh it off, but the sting of the truth strikes through my body.

"The other girls are nice to look at, but are grade-A hangers-on. They could give less of a fuck as long they're getting boned by a rockstar, they don't care." He replies.

Apparently the look I give him is one of doubt.

"I'm always right." He states sarcastically with a toothy grin. "So if I say you--despite being a pain in the ass--are beautiful, then there's no arguing about it." He adds and I try not to make my overjoyed smile obvious, instead leaning down, pressing my lips to his.

1987

"Another vehicle, Nikki, are you kidding me?!" I scream as he simultaneously says, "don't fucking start, Viv!"

He can't be serious.

"Do you not remember that notice we got about the $5,000 a day in heroin being spent, Nikki, or did that just fly over your head? We have bills, we have have things that we need to prioritize and what do you do?! Buy another car!"

He just ignores me, grabbing a paper bag from the fridge.

I give up on fighting, tears of frustration rolling down my cheeks as I grab my car keys to just get the hell out of here.

He had gotten a brand new Mercedes Benz after I had asked him to wait until we got more money from the album and the tour. He decided we had enough money and went for it.

I angrily wrap packing tape around the cardboard box packed full of Steven's things, seeing him flinch each time the tape let out a squeak from me manhandling it.

"You good, Viv?" He asks me cautiously and I glare at him.

"I married a junkie who's mission is to damn near give me a heart attack anyway he possibly can whether it's with his drug abuse or simply spending money we don't necessarily have." I state. "So, no, Stevie. I could be better."

"Oh...I'm sorry." He mumbles.

"It's called D-I-V-O-R-C-E. They're perfect in situations such as your's and could really benefit you and him." Izzy sarcastically let's out, raising his brows and I slowly turn to look at him with a death glare. "Or suffer, that's a good option, too." He shrugs.

"We don't want that." I state as Duff comes in the living room from the kitchen.

"Not what I've heard." Izzy scoffs back. "Sixx talks when he's smacked out."

"And what exactly does 'Sixx' say?" I ask, raising my brows.

I can feel Steven making motions to Izzy from behind me, and I turn to look at him only to see him pretending to rub the bottom of his jaw with his knuckles.

It's obvious he was just running his hand against his neck in a "stop" motion to Izzy.

"Uh, n-nothing." Duff puts in as an unsettling tension settles in, like the three of them are on a level of understanding that I'm not aware of.

"Guys, seriously, what does he say?" I ask.

"It's not really what he says as much as what he does." Izzy let's out carefully and Duff glares at him.

"What does he do?"

"Cries." Duff states.

"Yeah." Steven adds.

"Like a little bitch." Izzy sighs.

I look at them for a moment before deciding to not ask anything else.

"Okay, Steven, here." I finish taping his box of stuff.

"Thanks, Viv." He replies, picking the box up, and suddenly every nude magazine he owns is spilling onto the floor from the bottom of the box.

"Aw, dude, that wasn't suppose to happen." Steven states and I hand the tape to Duff when he offers to retape it, before plopping down beside Izzy.

The difference in Fred, Mick, Duff, Steven, Izzy, Slash and Axl keeping the Vanity situation from me, and Tommy, Vince, Doc, and Tansy, keeping it from me was that Vince, Doc, Tommy and Tansy were protecting Nikki.

Everyone else thought they were protecting me, instead they would constantly down Nikki about it, trying to get him to stop his shit.

It would have been nice for someone to tell me instead of having me looking like an absolute dumbass in front of God and everyone.

But I can see why they would think I couldn't handle that information at that time.

"Baby, c'mon, Tommy and I leave in a couple hours." Nikki pleads with me over the phone.

"Okay, so just days ago I was a 'psycho cunt' and you bought a brand new car a couple days ago just to spite me, and now I'm 'baby' again?" I question him.

"We fucked last night, Viv." He states and I sigh.

"We have sex because we're horny, Nikki, not because either of us are sorry for whatever we fight about." I point out and he groans.

"Just get down here and tell me 'bye', please?" He asks and I let out a breath.

"Fine, I'll be down there in a few minutes." I tell him, rolling my eyes.

How Nikki's logic worked:

Sex = apology.

I had accepted that, but a few months into '87, I realized sex didn't fix anything. It just swept it under the rug and allowed the both of us to pretend nothing was wrong.

The rug was starting to have so much dirt swept under it, it wasn't even laying flat on the floor anymore.

I shut the door of my car, Nikki waiting for me outside in his sunglasses, despite it being night out, his cocky smirk plastered on his lips at the fact that I came when he snapped his fingers, like always.

He holds a cassette out to me and I raise a brow, unamused.

"An apology for being an asshole." He tells me.

On the label reads "You're All I Need."

"Remember that song I wanted to write for you?" He asks and I nod, not necessarily knowing how to feel.

"I'll see you when you get back." I let out, giving a tight smile, opening my car door but he shuts it quickly, turning me to face him.

"That's it? No 'thank you', no 'goodbye' kiss, no nothing?" He questions me.

"I'm still upset over our fight Nikki."

"We always have bullshit fights, Viv. We say shit we don't mean all the time."

"Okay, but we're getting too comfortable saying hurtful things to each other, are we not?" I point out, and he sighs, shaking his head a little.

"We tried therapy, it didn't work, so. I don't know what to tell you."

"We went to a handful of sessions, Nikki, before you refused to go after Nona passed away." I remind him.

"Because we were both miserable in those sessions."

"Well, it's nearly one year later and we're still miserable." I state and he furrows his brows.

"Being married to me makes you miserable?" He hisses out.

"I didn't mean it like that, I just mean--"

"--Great, well, I'll see you in five days." He cuts me short, hurt over what I said, stepping to the door.

"That's not what I meant, Nikki." I follow after him and grasp at his wrist. "I meant the both of us are getting more and more unhappy."

"I'm fine." He pipes. "I'm sorry if you're antidepressant stopped working or something but I'm fantastic, Viv."

"You're fantastic?"

"Yep."

People who are doing "fantastic" don't self-medicate but okay.

"I'll do better." He says to me, smiling down at me reassuringly. "Alright?"

I nod, and he looks me up and down for a moment before catching my lips with his.

His Jack flavored tongue meets mine, eliciting a soft hum from me as his hands hold at my waist, my fingers lacing in his hair.

We take a few steps back and I feel my legs hit the front of my Corvette. I drop the tape to push his jacket off his shoulders when he nudges for me to sit back on the hood of my car, already knowing where this is going.

His lips trail down my neck, his teeth nipping at my hardened nipples through my dress, causing me to giggle and moan simultaneously, my fingers running through his teased hair.

He stands up straight to unbuckle his belt, the sight of his prick desperate to get out of his pants has a wave of pleasure sweeping up my back, my hand pulling my dress up to run over the soft fabric of my panties, the toe of my heel gently traveling up the inside of his leather covered thigh.

He stops me just before I can trace over the bulge in his pants, his hand gripping my ankle, his fingers of his other hand untying the lace of his pants.

I sit up, reaching my hand out to free his cock, but he grabs at my jaw, forcing me to look at him.

"No, no." He wags his finger at me with a slick smile and my mouth waters when he pulls himself from his pants, precum already beading at his tip.

He sees me eyeing it, purposely wrapping his fist around his shaft to jerk of a couple of times, causing even more of the liquid to leak from him.

"Go ahead have a taste because every last drop is going in that pretty pussy so you remember who's you are while I'm gone."

My core tenses up, evidence of my arousal wetting my panties at his words and I don't hesitate to swipe my thumb across his tip, enjoying his jaw tensing at the contact, before making a show of sucking my thumb into my mouth to lick it off.

He stares at me and I blink up at him, taking my thumb from my mouth, waiting for him to make the next move.

And oh, does he.

He's impatiently pushing my dress to my hips and yanking my panties off, holding at one of my legs as his fingers trail between my legs to my clit.

I let out a harsh breath when he lightly runs the pad of his thumb over the sensitive nerves, watching my face.

I have to bite my lip in order to keep from cursing at him teasing me, and he licks his lips before taking his dick in his hand, rubbing the head against my clit, watching as my eyes close and a whimper leaves my lips.

I feel my pulse in my core, and the ache of utter need has me giving him my best "fuck me" eyes I can muster up.

"Does my little slut wanna be fucked?" He asks and I nod, looking at him with my eyes half-open.

I shudder when he drags his tip to my hungry cunt, slowly, agonizingly, sliding into me.

My back arches as he gives me the time to feel his girth stretching me, and he grins, his head falling back, his hands pushing my thighs against the hood of the car.

"I will never get over how fucking tight you are." He tells me in an almost moan, pulling back out again and slowly sliding back in, time looking down to see himself thrusting in and out of me.

"So good." I let out softly, my hands pinching at my nipples through my dress and he starts to pick up the pace, causing me to gasp and moan with every thrust as he goes deep into me, hitting my cervix.

I remember where we're at and I put my hand over my mouth to keep from drawing attention from the street incase anyone can hear me.

Nikki doesn't like that.

"Keep your fucking hand down." He orders, pulling my hand from my mouth. "I want them to know you're getting fucked, I want them to know who's fucking cock you're taking inch for fucking inch." He states, and I moan quietly at his words, still not wanting to draw attention.

My walls tighten and loosen around him as he continues to drive into me, my sounds of pleasure getting louder and louder with my loss of control and Nikki's determination.

His fingers quickly go back and fort against my clit, causing me to let out an unexpected cry, my hand holding at his wrist to try to get him to stop but he won't.

"Good girl." He praises me for not trying to hide my pleasure, grunting at the feeling of my pussy tightening around him.

The wet sound of him moving in and out of me mixed with my cries and he cursing fills my ears.

"Harder, Nikki, please." I beg, a masochistic part of me not wanting to walk right for a couple days.

I don't have to ask twice, his hand's around my throat, his fingers roughly stimulating my clit while his prick mercilessly starts pounding into my weeping cunt, only causing me to moan the best that I can with him choking me.

The two of us look at each other in pure ecstacy and I smugly grin before opening my mouth, sticking my tongue out.

His hand grasps at my throat a little tighter as he leans forward and spits in my mouth, only letting his grip loosen briefly so I can swallow it.

Our bodies are now drenched in sweat and I'm growing closer and closer, squeezing around him so tightly I think he's having to force himself not to finish before I do.

I'm probably looking up at him like he's a god, mesmerized by the sheen of sweat covering his chest, his thumb of his hand around my throat softly swiping the skin of my neck, sweetly contradicting his roughness.

"Oh, daddy, I'm gonna come." I gasp out. It's been a while since I've called him that in bed and it's only motivating him to go harder. "Fuck!" I mewl, squeezing my eyes shut as I tighten around him even more before my orgasm hits and my pussy's spasming in hopes of getting every last bit of his load.

He groans from the sensation before I feel him push back into me, forcing himself against my cervix, hot cum coating the inside of me.

"What the fuck?!" Tommy screams in a high pitch, and Nikki and I startle, looking in the direction of the door to see Tommy and Vince standing there, just walking out, but being met with Nikki inside me, with his hand around my throat and me moaning.

I'm horrified, Tommy's traumatized, Vince is probably wishing he had his camera, and Nikki's...well...

"Hahaha!" Nikki let's out, pulling my dress down my legs so I don't flash Tommy or Vince. "Sorry." He says next, tucking himself back into his pants, picking his jacket up off the ground as I scramble to get off the car, wincing at the feeling Nikki's cum about to start running out of me.

My face is bright red and Tommy looks like he's about to cry.

"I came out here to tell you 'bye' and-and..." he can't finish speaking, disgust on his face.

"Nikki was telling you 'bye', too." Vince laughs out and I glare at him.

"I'm sorry we fool around, T-bone, jeez." Nikki chuckles.

"'Fooling around' is a blowjob. This," he grabs his own throat and pulls his own hair. "Is something I don't want to see Viv in."

"She's the one who's into it." Nikki argues and my eyes bug as I feel even more embarrassed.

"Nikki, what the hell?!" I ask him as Tommy looks even more worried.

"Aww, man, this is great." Vince sighs out, grinning.

"Viv, I love you, I'll see you in a few days." Tommy let's out, avoiding eye contact with me.

I don't want to face him at the moment either.

"Love you, Tommy, bye." I reply as he heads to their car that just pulled up.

I grab the tape from the ground and my panties, and Nikki takes the skimpy undergarment from my hand and puts it in his jacket pocket.

I just look at him.

"What?" He asks. "It's a token of your affection to remind me of you when I miss you on those cold, lonely nights."

"You'll be gone less than a week, Nikki."

"You want me to think of you or not?" He points out and I can't hide my smile, chuckling at his bullshit.

His eyes shift to the tape in my hand, and his face falls for a second as if he regrets giving it to me.

"Everything alright?"

"Yeah, um...just...don't take lyrics too seriously." He tells me and I raise my brows.

"What?"

The car honks the horn and he looks at them as Tommy's standing out of the sunroof.

"Dude, c'mon, we're gonna miss the flight!" He tells Nikki.

Nikki turns back to me, giving me a little smile, kissing me sweetly.

"I'll call you when we get to the hotel." He assures me, kissing me again.

"Okay, be careful." I say.

"I'm sorry, Viv, alright?" He says next, and I think he's apologizing for the "Wild Side" ordeal and buying a new car we could barely afford.

I'm about to say "I am, too" but he cuts me off, kissing me yet again.

"See ya, Sixx." He whispers, smirking to me.

"See ya, Sixx." I reply in the same tone.

With one last kiss, he's telling Vince 'bye' and making his way to the car.

I rub my lips together, noticing Vince has this amused look on his face as I step to my car.

"What, Vince?" I ask.

"Nothing. Enjoy the song." He tells me before walking to his bike.

I go home, clean myself up, change and head to the Franklin Plaza where Duff, Axl, Izzy, Slash and Steven are staying currently.

The second Steven opens the door, I'm waving the tape.

"He doesn't hate me!" I exclaim, handing the tape to Axl--who bet $50 that Nikki and I would divorce this year--as he's smoking his cigarette.

"'You're All I Need'." He reads the title, looking at Duff and Izzy who're on one of the suits' couches. "What, is it an ode to heroin?" He asks and I cut my eyes at him.

"Seriously, man?" Slash questions him, unamused.

"No, Axl, it's not." I state.

"Well, let's listen to it." Stevie excitedly says.

Soon enough we have it playing, hearing a beautiful piano ballad backed with Mick's guitar, Nikki's bass and Tommy's drums.

"The blade of my knife

Faced away from your heart

Those last few nights

It turned and sliced you apart

This love that I tell

Now feels lonely as hell

From this padded prison cell"

The lyrics of the first verse sound as with each passing second, everyone's looking more and more confused, glancing at each other while I try to make sense of whatever metaphor he's using.

"So many times I said

You'd only be mine

I gave my blood and my tears

And loved you cyanide

When you took my lips

I took your breath

Sometimes love's better off dead"

He can't be saying what it sounds like he's saying.

"You're all I need make you only mine

I love you so I set you free

I had to take your life

You're all I need, you're all I need

And I loved you but you didn't love me."

"Umm...Viv...I don't think this is about how much he loves you." Izzy speaks out.

"Laid out cold

Now we're both alone

But killing you helped me keep you home."

"I-Is he singing about killing me?!" I ask, nearly at a loss for words.

"I guess it was bad

Cause love can be sad

But we finally make the news."

"This bastard is singing about killing me!"

"Dude, didn't he actually try to kill you?" Steven asks me and I raise my brows.

"Tied up smiling

I thought you were happy

Never opened you--"

Duff stops the tape, snatching it from the player before tossing it on the floor and stomping it to pieces with his cowboy boot.

There's a long, long silence between all of us, and I force myself not to cry in front of all of them.

"I guess that fifty bucks is still on the table, then?" Axl shatters the silence.