#i'm going to stop this ramble here and suffer as i put this out

[felixbit]

up all night

pairing: bang chan x gn!reader w. 3.9k genre: shameless smut summary: chan is in the studio working late, stressed about a deadline and pushed to his limit. you convince him to take his mind off work. warnings: reader has somewhat implied afab anatomy but no gendered terms/pronouns are used. petnames used: baby, love, honey a/n: making my smut debut with chan! written for the best person ever

As of late, Chan has been in the studio far more often than you'd like.

You knew he was a workaholic when you got into the relationship. He cared about his career, music, and group so much he'd push himself to the brink. He wrote, composed, and produced all of his own music and wouldn't have it any other way. If he wanted success, he needed to make it himself.

It came at a cost, though. You saw the way his mental health would deteriorate around the time of deadlines. He'd spend almost entire days in the studio, perfecting every last word and beat. You watched as he shaped this music from his hands, sculpting them to smooth out every edge and imperfection.

Even Chan was far too aware how bad it was for himself. You'd try to find ways for him to take breaks, always bringing him food and water to keep him going. He'd thank you in a million ways, with words and fond touches but it ended in him going back to work.

When he finally was home, he returned to the kind and gentle boyfriend you knew him to be. Holding you as you fell asleep and buying your order at the local coffee shop before you woke up. He'd make you breakfast in bed when he had the time, writing love notes whenever he had to leave before you woke up.

As it always happened, a new deadline was approaching. Chan often slipped out after schedules to the studio and worked himself down to the bone. You tried your hardest to spend as much time in there with him, even if it was just laying on the couch scrolling your feed. Every little thing helped.

That night, you'd ordered him some takeout but it was eaten long ago. The time on your phone showed it was half past three in the morning and Chan was at it in earnest. Headphones on, replaying samples and tweaking sounds.

You looked over from your phone when you heard him swear under his breath and take his headphones off. Chan let out a long sigh and covered his face with his hands for a moment before looking back down at his work.

"It- it just won't sound like I need it to. It's not right, it's.." Chan rambled into the air.

You got up from the couch and walked behind his chair, putting your hands on his broad shoulders and massaging them with your fingers. "I know, Channie. Is there anything I can do to help you right now?"

"No, I'm sorry," Chan let out a long sigh and smiled up at you weakly, "You being here is enough."

You felt a stirring in your stomach at the sentiment, but you wouldn't give up that easily. "I can't just let you suffer alone here. Do you want to take a break or wrap up for the night?"

"I won't remember how I want it tomorrow. If I give up on this now, there's a chance I never fix it and it goes out sounding wrong. I can't do that."

"Chris," You stopped massaging his shoulders to turn his chair around, looking down at him, "I know you want it perfect. Write it down on a sticky note what you want and take a break. It's gonna be four soon and I'm not letting you spend another all nighter here."

Chan looked up at you curiously before deflating back in his chair. "I mean- are you sure? If I forget, it's gonna be noticeable, and-"

"I'll remind you. I'll put it in my phone and tell you exactly what you need to fix. Here, tell me what it is and I'll write it down. Got it?"

Chan paused for a moment before nodding, allowing you to open your phone before speaking. He gave you the exact timestamps of the song and the strange producer jargon that you couldn't quite make sense of. You wrote it down word-for-word just as he needed it.

"There, it's in here for you later," You recited it back to him and he gave a confirmatory nod, "You're all set for tomorrow."

"Tomorrow? I can't be done for the night, there's too much to work on and not enough time. I'm sorry, just another hour. Please?"

You shook your head and set your phone down on the table before sliding into his lap, straddling him in the chair. "You're not working another second on those songs tonight, Chris."

Chan looked up at you a little stunned before a sly smirk crossed his face. "Baby, you know that's not fair to me. I need to work and you're doing something dangerously distracting."

"What are you going to do, then?" You replied back, unable to hold back a grin, "You gonna remove me from your lap to do some boring work instead?"

You could see Chan chew on the inside of his cheek before sighing. "It's not boring, and I really should get back to it.."

"Then you're going to have to remove me yourself, because I'm not moving."

Chan let out a dramatic sigh before his hands moved up the outside of your thighs, resting right next to your hips. "You know damn well I'm not going to do that."

"And why's that, Channie?"

His hands moved over your thighs, giving a light squeeze. "God, you're driving me insane. Coming into the studio every night and making yourself useful at every opportunity.. I wanted so bad to stop just to make you feel good. You deserve that, instead of me working the whole day."

"Your opportunity has finally come, I'm all yours if you want me right now."

Chan chuckled, "You could ask me that a thousand times and I could never say no."

You leaned in to his ear and whispered, "Then make your move."

There was a moment of silence before Chan pulled you in for a kiss, messy and rushed. His hands were all over your thighs, waist, back. He couldn't pick a spot and stick to it, deciding instead everywhere needed to be felt over.

You tried to keep things centered, your arms wrapped around the back of his neck. One of your hands played with the curls growing on the back of his head, enjoying the soft feeling through your fingers. It was the only thing keeping you sane.

His hands finally found a place to reside when he hooked them on the hem of your pants, giving light tugs as you felt him squirming under you. Pulling away from the kiss with a grin, you looked down at Chan and his flushed appearance. "So eager.."

"Can you blame me? Now stand up and help me get those off," Chan demanded with a rushed voice, helping get you to your feet as he followed in your footsteps. His usually deft hands were fumbling as he desperately pulled your pants off of you and discarded them to the floor.

Watching him undo his own sweatpants like a madman had you giggling at the sight. "You go one week without any action, and this is how desperate you get?"

"I'm a starved man, honey," Chan's face was red and already had sweat on his brow, "I can't wait any longer, not after all that teasing."

"Teasing? What-"

"Get on the damn couch."

That much was enough to have you laying down on the couch without hesitating. His sweatpants joined yours on the floor, showing off the black boxers he was sporting underneath. A quick glance showed he was pitching an obvious tent.

Although as quick as you were, Chan caught you looking. He raised his brows and laughed, "And I'm the eager one here?"

"You are the eager one here, hardly put your hands on me and you're giving those boxers a run for their money," You responded with your own laugh.

"You little.." Chan shook his head and leaned over you, putting his weight on one forearm on the couch as he kissed you once more. Instead of the fast and desperate pace he had set before, Chan was far slower and delicate. It was almost infuriatingly slow.

You couldn't show how much you wanted him to go faster, that would only prove his point. Instead, he was slowly breaking you down by the second, one arm stabilizing himself and the other hand on your neck, softly stroking your jaw with his thumb.

The waiting game paid off when Chan suddenly took your bottom lip between his teeth, giving it a small tug before he pulled away. "I can't keep this up. You win. Damn you, I'm eager."

There wasn't time for any words to respond before Chan was back where he was before, sloppy and fast. He kissed down your neck, excessive in his biting and sucking at the sensitive skin. Not expecting it, a sound broke its way out of you.

You did your best not to give in to the rest of his harsh and aggressive kisses down your neck. After a week of downtime, he was making up for it in marking your neck as his own. Nobody was going to know who the perpetrator of the hickeys were later (other than the upset staff), but it was the idea that mattered.

There were bigger problems actively stealing your attention. Namely, the small amount of friction made with him moving ever-so-slightly between your legs. It was easy to ignore at first, but the neck kisses were causing the pleasure parts of your brain to kick into high gear.

With one harsher movement than the rest, you were unable to bite back a small, unfiltered sound that escaped you. Chan broke contact with your red and bruising skin to look up with a grin on his face.

"What was that, love?" Chan's tone was starkly different than before, far more teasing and with a dark edge to his voice that you only recognized coming out in bed.

Attempts to take his attention off of it failed and you were forced to fess up in the moment. "You have to stop moving like that, it's driving me crazy."

"Moving like what?" Chan shifted his legs, slotting his thigh directly between yours and pressing firmly against you. This elicited a frustrated sigh, the feeling too strong to push away.

Upon no immediate response, Chan pushed his thigh forward and forced a fuller, more in-tact moan out of you. "Fine, fine- that. Putting your thigh between my legs. That's the thing that's driving me crazy."

"There you go," Chan's words were sickly doting in a way that made you break at the seams, "What do you want instead?"

With his thigh slotted firmly between your own, finding coherent strings of words was difficult. "Just.. get this underwear off me and use your fingers instead."

Chan smiled, clearly pleased with your answer. He moved his leg out from between yours, relieving the pressure and allowing you to breathe. He sat back on his legs as he removed the last layer of clothing from below your waist, tossing it to the growing pile on the floor.

He nudged himself closer, Chan's hand finding its way to where his thigh was once situated before. His middle finger teased you with a circular motion around your entrance, so close to where you needed it most.

"Chan." You demanded, shooting him a glare.

"Okay, okay. Just admiring how worked up I've got you," Chan smirked before his finger pushed inside, slowly filling you up and drawing out a long sigh. He worked slowly yet decisively, knowing exactly how you like it.

That was one of the things you loved about Chan: he knew your body like the back of his hand. Where you were most sensitive, what drove you wild, how rough you liked him to get. He could push your buttons perfectly, string you up in his words until you were tied up into a nice present for him.

Before you could process the first, Chan had already added a second finger and was growing more confident. He worked his fingers in and out in a steady rhythm, not slow enough to leave you wanting more nor fast enough to want to slow down.

"That good, baby?" Chan's eyes met yours, and you saw a different side of him for a moment. The way he sought your approval and made sure everything was right had your heart melting. He had confidence in his abilities, but occasionally needed reassurance.

You nodded eagerly, on the cusp of desperation. "It's good, Channie, you're doing so good," You said between soft moans as his fingers pumped deep, feeling him tease a third and giving him a nod.

The third was always a stretch that had you biting back whines in conjunction to moans, but the feeling was too good to beat. The feeling of being full, on his fingers or otherwise, was what drove you wild.

He kissed you once more, slow and tender as his fingers continued to work. It was hard to keep properly connected, devolving into moaning against his lips with small kisses in between.

"Chris," You said, "Can't wait any longer. Need to have you inside, baby."

Instead of his usual entourage of teasing questions, Chan nodded. He made quick work of his boxers, tossing them haphazardly towards the pile as he moved back to you. He was painfully hard, already leaky and worked up.

"Can I?" He looked down for your reassurance, which came with a nod as he lined himself up. His hips moved forward slowly, feeling him filling you up more by the second. It always took a second to adjust to the size, catching your breath as he bottomed out and waited for your signal.

When you gave him the go-ahead, Chan couldn't help but begin a slow and steady pace. He knew better than to go fast right off the bat- he was a lot to handle. But you could hear him whining softly over top of you and knew he was desperate.

Looking up at him, you cupped his face and pulled him in for a quick kiss. "You can go faster, Chris. You won't hurt me."

You heard Chan let out a breathy laugh before his thrusts grew harsher. Instead of the slow, fluid motion of before; he was faster, precise. Every movement had purpose, each angled just right and hitting the sweet spot.

The sudden adjustment had you whining and letting out louder moans, unable to properly cope. It was overwhelming how good he was at it. All you could do was wrap your hands around the back of his shirt and claw at it helplessly as he had his way.

The fabric getting in the way of your fingers on his skin was beginning to frustrate you. "Off," You managed to get out, "Shirt- off."

Chan grinned, sitting up for a moment and slowing down to a snail's pace to pull his black t-shirt over his head and discard it. You reached up, dragging a hand down his chest and over his abs. Every muscle was yours to touch, to claim.

"You like what you see?" Chan said with a laugh.

Deadpanning, you shook your head. "Shut up."

In a second, he was back over top of you and his pace was back with a new force he didn't have before. It was often he was without clothes, but you weren't under the impression a shirt would be the thing holding him back. Either way, you relished in the fact his back was open to you.

Your nails dug in to his tanned skin, dragging along as he fucked into you steadily. You could hear him sucking air in between his teeth followed by his soft moans. He was always one to endure a little pain.

An idea popped into your head when you thought of before, sitting in the chair in his lap. "Chris, stop for a sec." He immediately halted all movements, looking down at you to make sure everything was alright. "Sit normally, facing the booth."

Chan looked at you perplexed for a moment, but pulled away. He did exactly as you told him to, sitting with his legs spread facing the booth he was just sitting in front of not twenty minutes ago. "What are you planning?" He asked.

You sat up and climbed over to him, straddling his waist with your legs and feeling him hard underneath you. "What I wanted to do to you when I was in your lap earlier."

The realization slowly filled his eyes and a knowing smile returned to his face as he sat back, leaning against the black couch cushion behind him. "Go right ahead."

"If you make me do all the work, we're going to have problems," You glared at him as your hand guided his cock, slowly sinking down on it with a sigh.

Chan's large hands wrapped around your waist, slowly guiding you as you moved up and down. Riding wasn't always the easiest job, and it definitely took some getting used to at the start. Your thighs were slowly building up muscle from the practice.

"God, you're so pretty like that," Chan's voice pulled you from your thoughts, looking down at him to see him smiling up at you. His face was pink and he almost had stars in his eyes.

Seeing just how infatuated he was made your heart race and your face flush, almost forgetting to continue to move. "You're pretty, too."

Your hands were situated on his shoulders to keep steady, but one dragged down and you couldn't resist feeling up his chest a bit. Chan looked up at you smirking again. "Do you ever keep your hands off those?"

Snickering, you pushed down a little harder to see him whine and catch his breath before you responded, "If you're going to keep your clothes off all the time, I'm going to feel up the assets you work so hard on."

"Why do you insist on teasing me all the time? You know what happens when you do that," Chan had a dark look in his eyes that you knew far too well.

Shrugging, you moved your hand up to run through his hair. "Did you ever consider I might like what happens when I tease you?"

"So be it."

Without hesitation, you felt Chan's grip around your waist suddenly tighten. You leaned forward instinctively, both of your hands secured around his shoulders.

He began to thrust up into erratically, fast and without caution or precision. The sound of your skin connecting was obscene, thanking the amount of soundproofing around you as a chorus of moans spilled out of you. Every movement had him deep inside you as you attempted to roll your hips along with him.

"Fuck, Chris," You whined, his pace unrelenting and seeming like he wasn't going to let up any time soon, "Close."

There was a distinctive feeling growing, one you knew too well. The amount of pleasure from every movement was rapidly growing as your body was being overwhelmed. Chan heard you, but didn't stop for a moment. It was almost if it was a sign for him to fuck you faster.

Either way, you were tipping over the edge before you had time to process it, spasming around him as you let you a whorish moan. He slowed down, letting you ride out the high. "That's it, baby," He coaxed, "You got it."

Just as you settled down, you felt him start to work himself into a moderate pace again. Your legs felt shot from your energy levels dipping so you asked, "Do you want to me to move, baby? I don't think I have much in me to keep going right here."

"If it's not comfortable to be right there, of course we can move," Chan said with a smile as he allowed you to reposition to pretty much the same spot you were in before. You laid on your back, Chan coming back over top of you. "That better?"

"Much better," You said with a nod as he went back to the pace he had set before. It wasn't as rough as before your orgasm, but steady enough to keep you whining and your brain somewhat fogged up from the constant pleasure.

Meanwhile, you could see Chan was already getting worked up. His face was redder than usual, his eyes trained on one spot, breathing hard as he kept the effort going to thrust his hips in one continuous pace.

His deep groans and whines had begun to turn into full-fledged moans and swears under his breath. His hands eagerly gripped and kneaded at your waist, seeming like he might accidentally bruise the skin. You were about to open your mouth when he said something.

"Honey, I-" Chan was cut off by his own faltered moan, "I'm close, so fucking close."

You pulled him down to kiss him briefly, keeping his face inches from yours as he continued to erratically thrust. "You don't have to wait, cum for me."

Chan nodded vigorously, his hips snapping back and forth at a speed that had you holding onto the couch for dear life, hearing him let out strained moans and teary-eyed cries as he climbed closer and closer to the top.

All of the sudden, he pushed deep inside you, letting out a gasp and a whine as you felt him come deep inside. His hips stuttered as he slowly rocked them, riding out the high. "Oh my god, that.. that was amazing."

Allowing him a moment to catch his breath, you smiled up at him and gave him another quick kiss. "I've missed you, Chris. I've missed this," You admitted after another silent pause.

Chan nodded, pressing his forehead against yours and sighed. He had finally mellowed out, still buried deep. "I've missed you, too. I'm sorry I haven't been able to do this with you and.. be a good boyfriend."

"No, you're okay. I know how much work matters to you and getting things right means that you see that success you've always wanted. I just always miss you in the times you're working, even if I'm in the same room as you."

"I just feel bad when you're here til way too late at night. Speaking of, what time is it?" Chan slowly pulled out, leaving his mess inside you as he quickly grabbed his phone from the floor, "Oh my god. It's half past four."

Your jaw dropped, standing up quickly as Chan hurried around the room to find something to help you clean up. He settled for his own black t-shirt, telling you he'd just go home shirtless if he had to. Of course it looked terribly stained when you had wiped yourself down, sighing while knowing it probably cost a crazy amount.

Digging through a closet, you found one of Chan's old jacket. Chan was standing shirtless and pacing with the rest of his own clothes on, the defiled shirt balled up in his hand.

"Channie, guess what I found?" You asked with a grin, hiding the jacket behind your back.

Chan looked at you with a nervous smile. "Is it something good? I'm just not super stoked to walk home shirtless at four in the morning.."

You tossed the jacket to him, Chan opting to drop the shirt in his hand before he caught it to not get the filth on it. He happily slid it over his shoulders and zipped it up all the way, picking up the soiled shirt once more.

"Shall we go?" Chan said as he double-checked his pockets and walked towards the studio door.

"We shall."

[threepandas]

Bad End: Eve

You know how most Otome games are vaguely historical? Usually some non-specific mishmash of European countries? But fluffier and with more bows? It had once "gotten" to me, I think. I remember looking for outliers. Non-joke ones. Something that wasn't just "but this time with hats!"

I found one.

And now? Now I'm not sure if I curse that day or thank whatever force of nature lead me there. I guess... I guess it depends. Would I still have ended up HERE? If I had not found it? If so, then I genuinely and actually fucking rue it. Like... like actual "you'll rue the day! Bwahaha!" Type rue it. That's me. Ruing.

But? If it was always going to happen?

Then I guess...

I guess I'm weirdly glad. Because at least I have some fucking idea of what's going ON. Terrible, as it all is. Fucked, as the situation is. At least I'm not... not confused. Blind and at the mercy of those around me. Ignorance truely isn't bliss. All it does is leave you to try an fill in the blanks yourself. Usually with something far worse.

Not that the situation could GET much worse, by much.

I was in an Otome game. NOT a flower, high society, and dragons kind either. No. I? Was in a Dark Sci-Fi otome game. "Fate of man" was thrown around a lot. Power of luuuuv~ and such. Also, you know, HORRIFIC ethical violations. Human experimentation. Cataclysmic events and humanity "starting over".

All the high drama sci-fi concepts you could expect. It was a romp. Had good art. I'd had fun! Which is why I remember it so clearly.

Less fun when you're IN IT.

When you AREN'T one of the characters you KNOW will survive.

In fact, are one of the characters you know WON'T fucking survive. And will probably die MESSY. Horribly. Cause see, our BELOVED Harem collecting Protagonist? She? Was AN Eve. "AN".

Take a wild fucking guess what THAT project is about.

Did you say "breeding a better race of humans"? Ding ding ding! With humanity currently fucked, they want to FIX the problem by FIXING humanity. And of course, fuck ethics! Volunteers? Why use those?! Let's horrifically mad scientist our way to atrocity-ville! Make it all the more "God rightfully punishing us for our unforgivable sins" when we get wiped out!

Fffffffuck YOU, plot! I have to live here too!

You may, in fact, be picking up a slight note of stir crazy. A "wow, this lady rambles like a mother fucker" vibe. You would TOO, if you were stuck in a FUCKING TUBE. All I can do, day in and day out? Is wake, think, observe, then go right back to sleep. I can't even eat! I got a TUBE for that!

I... I miss showers.

Everything is GOO.

I'm an Eve. And if it weren't for the air tube controlng my breathing? I'd laughing hysterically until I died. And no, not in the "oh how funny" way. God. Oh... oh god. What a way to die. NONE of the Eves survive "the program".

Those IDIOTS are so OBSESSED with making bigger and bigger, better and better, FUCKING JUGGERNAUTS? That the Adams? Have long since reached the point of "mindless killing machine". UNSTABLE is putting it lightly. There is sexual dimorphism and then there's literal incompatibility.

But GOD FORBID the scientists admit that THEY are the ones with the inferior product.

It... it was even part of the game's plot. The scientist who made "Eve" HID her while HE made an Adam. I do not have that luxury. Somewhere, there is an unstable BESERKER being told I'm his "wife". That we're going to be HAPPY together. That he'll get to put his bruising, blood soaked hands anywhere he WANTS... just after he WINS me from the other Adam's.

Got to prove HE'S the best specimen, after all.

It makes my skin crawl. All I can hope, is that I can either provoke the bastard enough to kill me before they have a chance to stop him, or? I use my own enhanced strength to snap my neck. Maybe bite my tounge. Like HELL am I letting an Adam get near me.

The hiss of laboratory doors.

"Perfection at last..." Comes a relieved sigh. "All those HIDEOUS specimens. Why they make me suffer them, I'll never understand. We should have terminated them months ago. My poor project, they really think they're WORTHY of you..."

There's a derisive laugh. The scientist strolling into the lab I've been developing in, familiar. I watch him casually shrug off his lab coat and dump is bag. Hang his coat over the back of his chair. Turn, as he does each day, to STARE up at me. His eyes are a pale, pale purple the likes of which I've never seen before.

They're HAUNTING.

There is almost a red tint to them, though maybe that's the lights. The goo. I can never tell. He always looks ENTRANCED by me. Floating, visored, connected to far too many tubes an' wires. I'd think it was the fact that I was naked if it weren't for the way his gaze doesn't seem to drift lower then my shoulders. Seems more entranced by the way my hair moves, as though under water.

I've never once heard him talk about me lustfully.

But that doesn't mean he doesn't SCARE me.

"Let's begin, shall we? Time for your daily doses, mmm?" He says, voice dangerously affectionate. As though i had CHOSEN to do this to myself. As though he were merely reminding me of my morning medicine and not the hell ahout to come. "Going to be good for me? I know you shall, you always are."

He turned back to his desk, his computer. A few keystrokes... and I could feel the pod above me begin to hum, as it awoke. Oh god. Oh god it never got easier. From the corner of my eyes, bright chemicals slide down thind lines and into my veins. Like lines of lava. Bolts of electricity and pain. It was... AGONY.

My muscles seized. Brain screeched, first to the screaming I wish I could make... then static. With the long practice of daily pain, it took me far away. The click, click, click of keys. The sound of his voice, so terribly PLEASED, as I hung there and just TOOK it. No restraints, no strugging, no damaging myself. Just unbearable fire in my veins and a brain far, far away.

"Good girl~"

Distantly a phone rang. He made an annoyed sound, but picked up regardless.

"What. I'm in the middle of- ...Excuse me? I'm quite sure I did not hear you correctly. I said 'NO'. She's not-....I will NOT BE-...What. Are you out of your god damned MIND? That pile of scraps you call a project is coming NOWHERE near my-! ....you think you're clever, don't you?"

"Fine. You want to TALK? Let's TALK, Anderson. I'll be there in five."

From far away, past the pain, I watched him chance down at something at the screen. Back up to me. He hung up the phone but did not pause the program. Instead, calmly rising from his desk. Shrugging on his lab coat. Rounding the desk and striding towards my bio-tube.

"Hmmm, honestly, it should have been spaced out over a few more days... but you can take it. Endure a bit longer for me, would you, darling? Daddy's going to go deal with something for just a moment, he'll be right back, my perfect girl. Be good."

He leaned forward, pressing his forehead to my tank. One hand splayed next to it like he badly wished he could touch. Could stroke skin. Hold his creation close. It was not the first time he had done this. Small, covetous, little actions like he wanted to crawl inside my skin and STAY there. Like he cursed the glass that separated us.

He pulled back. Shifted to the side and kneeled. He... had hidden something behind my bio-pod? When? Apparently before I had become aware. Because I had not known about it. A black shoe box. I watched him open i-GUN. Thaaaat was a gun! Fuck. Well at least? By the time anyone thinks to look in on me? The overdose will probably have killed me?

There is a cold, terrible smile on his face as he rolls to his face. Tucking the gun into an inner pocket. It has a silencer. He leans forward one last time. Lightly kissing the glass of my pod, as though heading off to work and not to very obviously kill somebody. The pain continues. Builds. I watch him leave.

With nothing to anchor myself on... time blurs.

I think? There are alarms? Red lights flash. Then they stop. There is shouting at one point. But then silence. An explosion? Or am I hallucinating? Pain. My nerves are on fire. I don't want to have SKIN. Please... please make it STOP! Calm foot steps? Come to kill me? Please come to kill me. Make it STOP.

The lights died a... time? Ago? Emergency lights on now. Generators in the room are loud. Why can I still hear the feet? Footses? Words. H..hurts. please.

Click.

The pain eases to a stop. Aching but nothing new. Over? Oh, thank god. I can sleep now, right? But... sound? New. At my feet. Gurgling. Wha-? The very top of my head feels cold. Then my forehead. Then my temple's and ears, cheeks, jaw... wait. Is? Is the tube...DRAINING? I open my eyes.

When did I close them?

He's back.

Standing right in front of the tube. Blood staining the hem of his coat, lingering marks of his massacre cleaned but not quite scrubbed from his body. There are little off red stains on his cheek, from what must be blood splatter. They look like tiny freckles.

I'm... I can't...

I reach as the tube down my throat is pulled almost carelessly away by the machine. Choke, suffocate, as the same is done for my air tube. But then it's done... and I can BREATHE under my own power. Gasp and splutter, as the goo sloshes around my knees. Then it's gone. And the tube I've been leaning my weight against is roughly pulled away.

I collapse forward, my muscles having never actually supported me in this life.

Arms catch me. Wrapping me in a possessive hug. A hand immediately burying itself in long uncut hair, even as the other wraps itself around my torso to lean me against his body in a cradle. My face is pressed to his neck by the hand in my hair, cradling my head and neck. I can feel breath against the goo wet crown of my head.

"Finally~" he breaths out, whispering it against me like a sigh. "My beautiful, perfect girl. My darling creation. It took so LONG. Those retrobates interfering at every turn, lusting after you like ANIMALS, trying to keep you from me. Then, worst of all, trying to toss you to some pack of savages? Oh, darling~ Daddy's been so worried for you."

"But we'll be okay now, won't we? I finally have you. All fresh and finally finished. My perfect Eve. You can pick any name you want, of course. You and I will be leaving this ugly little place. Daddy has PLANS. A fresh new world, just for you, sweetheart."

He laughed, his hug tightening in a way that would have left bruises had I been a normal human. Kisses were pressed to my temple. A cheek, rubbed against my hair. He seemed... seemed GIDDY with it. That nothing could stop him now. There was no glass in his way. I could not move yet. My muscles twitched when I tried, but that was it. I wasn't even sure I could talk yet, if I tried.

"Aaah~♡ Welcome to the World, Darling. My Perfection. My Eve. This time no snakes or Adams to tarnish you. To get in your way. Just you and your Father~"

"FOREVER~♡"

Next: ->

[battlekidx2]

I'm making this post purely to shout out some incredibly talented fanfic writers from the Hazbin Hotel fandom and my favorite works of theirs.

Did anyone ask me for this? No. Will I post it anyway? Absolutely. The writers in this fandom are too good.

The first fanfic writer I want to shout out is @prince-liest (ao3 link)

I absolutely love their get cared for idiot (Alastor) series (not the official name but they called it that in one of their asks jokingly so it's now the default in my head).

Knock, Knock! It's Your Worst Fucking Nightmare! (this fic gets it!!!! This is what I meant when I said Alastor is growing a heart and part of him is raging against it. He still has ulterior motives and a massive amount of pride and part of him feels like that growing fondness is getting in the way, but he can't stop it. I need to stop before this becomes a long ramble. I've written a couple thousand words on this idea, but this fic is just a better use of your time than any meta I could ever write and way more entertaining :D )

Happily Ever After, and Other Shit Nepotism Can't Buy

The Last Bus Stop in Hell, Now Boarding (Please look at the tags for content warning. Angel and Alastor body swap story.)

They're amazing at balancing on that razor's edge with Alastor where there's a heart in there (really deep) and he's unintentionally growing attached to the hazbin crew, but he doesn't lose his edge. He's still manipulative and an asshole and can easily be the scariest guy in any room. He's in hell for a reason. A+ characterization at all times.

They're so good at writing the complicated dynamics he has with the residents, especially Charlie, and I enjoy how they expand on Alastor's potential dynamic with Angel Dust.

Anything they write from Lucifer's POV is gold too! My favorites are:

Take Two and Leave a Voicemail!

The Care and Keeping of Homo Angelus

I am also 100% here for their Aro!Alastor agenda and I'm enjoying their fic I Love Her, I Love Her Not so far!

The second person I want to shout out is @grayintogreen (ao3 link)

Their series Red Roses and Dead Things consistently gut punches me.

Just like Princeliest, they are also fantastic at balancing on that razor's edge with Alastor. A+ characterization for everyone and I love how they write HuskerDust. It's so soft, especially in the aftermath fic for Learn that Even Death May Die called If My Love Is Tomorrow, I've Forgotten Yesterday (that fic hurt in the best way).

The way they explore the aftermath of Learn that Even Death May Die is incredibly impactful. They capture the unique grief that comes from the reality that there are some things you won't get closure for so well that it's painful.

I can't say enough good things about their series. Genuinely go read it.

I found @lediz-watches (ao3 link) before the first season of Hazbin Hotel dropped (I've been a fan of the hellaverse for a few years now and have been enthralled with the Hazbin Hotel pilot since I first watched it in 2020) and I really enjoy their fics.

My favorite is Suffering Kindness. I love the Charlie and Alastor dynamic they explore in this story. I think I'm just a sucker for the Charlie and Alastor dynamic in general, but this fic hits all the right notes for me. (written pre-season 1 but man is it good. 100% recommend)

LeDiz also has a lot of one-shots/collections of one-shots that are very fun.

The Cure for Inexorable Boredom

Dollface (one-shots about Alastor theories. My favorite is the 3rd one. So fascinating!)

Choice Words (one of the few explorations of Alastor and Vaggie's dynamic that I've found in the fandom)

Don't Say It

I have to shout out @ckret2 (ao3 link) and their phenomenal fic You’ve Got a Face for Radio. This is such an amazing aroace!Alastor fic. (Embarrassingly it was this fic that made me realize I was most likely aroace myself. I’d had fleeting moments of suspecting it but it wasn’t until I saw my experiences laid out in a character explicitly written to be aroace that I put the puzzle pieces together. -_- some of these passages were too relatable.) I cannot express how much I love this fic.

I also like their fics Dumpster Baby and Bitter Grapes.

I have one last writer I want to mention because this is getting really long (whoops). The last one is tiredoflofteranditsshit and their Assume He Has a Heart series (because my favorite character and how I interpret them was not obvious enough already with the fics/authors I've recommended. I had to make it more obvious).

These fics are massive (17k and 26k words) and so much fun. Definitely worth the read. Yet another series that follows up season 1 and explores Alastor’s growing connections and how he lies to himself and pushes against it. Love this series and there’s a lot to sink your teeth into :D

[piratefalls]

welcome back to the latest edition of biweekly fic recs! as always, mind the tags, if you can't leave a nice comment don't leave one at all, and happy reading!

masterlist.

There's No Problem That San Diego Can't Solve by @historicallysam

Alex doesn’t even bother knocking; he simply twists the knob on the door and shoves it open. His eyes narrow as the door bangs against the wall and he sees Henry on the phone. Maybe (definitely) it’s rude but his blood is fucking boiling so he doesn’t really care.

All the Ocean was Sleeping by @sparklepocalypse

The worst part about being a siren in the modern era, Henry ponders as yet another ship flies past his cove at a speed that he knows will disturb the anemone gardens below, is the yacht bros. Between the sound of their vessels’ motors and the dissonant noise the humans call music, Henry’s singing has no chance of attracting anyone’s attention.

cause you're a classic, and i'm reckless by @firenati0n

“I've, actually, uh. I've never done this before.” At this, Henry stops short, takes a second as his gaze moves up and to the left, trying to recall something. “I've seen your films. You most certainly have done intimate scenes.” Alex clears his throat. He hopes his nerves aren't completely obvious, the slight waver in his voice about to give him away. “Yeah, well. Never with a man, so. Not at this scale, anyway.” “Would it help to, er, practice?" Henry winces a little as he says it, which does not inspire confidence. But Alex is shocked nonetheless. What the fuck?

Over Land and Sea by SatinBirds

Alex and Henry come from very different worlds, and still, they manage to find each other.

Clean Slate by smc_27

“Henry.” Pez comes over, puts both hands on Henry’s cheeks and looks him dead in the eye. “You are not a sad man who’s gotten dumped. You’re in the prime of your life, and I quite desperately need you to act like it.” “The prime of my life,” Henry scoffs, more incredulous than questioning. “I’ve just gotten out of a 15 year relationship, endured a divorce, am suffering an almost impressive case of writer’s block, and your hands are like bloody icicles.” Pez grins, doesn’t take his hands away. “Explain to me how this is my prime. Please.” Pez tilts his head, and sounds entirely serious when he says, “Literally anything can happen from here.”

in bloom by stutteringpeach

Yoo, can u hook me up with some flowers?? It's the busiest day of the year for florists. Alex texts Henry with a last minute request.

here is a map (with your name for a capital) by @alasse9

That day at the Rio de Janeiro Olympics, Alex comes across the very same Prince Henry who just dismissed him having a panic attack in a bathroom. The choice Alex makes then has ripple effects neither of them could have ever expected. What's the story like, when they actually are friends all along? “So, you’re going back to England tonight, and you’ll spend the next three days pretending you two are the closest and best of friends until we can put this mess behind us.” And there are reasons he hasn’t told anybody this, good reasons, even though he’s sure June and Nora saw through him ages ago. Faced with his mom’s disappointment, though, and with the realization that the entire world apparently thinks he hates Henry and would willingly shove him into a fucking cake, he can’t stay quiet. “But we are friends,” he says, vehement and serious. “We have been for years. He’s—he’s probably my best friend, actually, along with Nora.”

thoughts of you consume by yrsonpurpose

Henry sees Alex appear on the red carpet in a blue suit that screams sex on legs and is ready to throw away all attempts at concealing their secret relationship in the name of dropping to his knees at the first available opportunity.

eyes on me by matherine

Alex’s hips buck back against Henry’s mouth the moment his tongue does more than tease, and Henry squeezes his hip in gentle consternation. But before he can say anything, Alex is already rambling. “Sorry, I’m — I’m sorry, I know you said not to move, and I’m trying, I — I’m trying to be good, I promise,” he blurts, voice shaking ever so slightly from something that certainly doesn’t sound like pleasure, resolutely refusing to turn his head so that he can meet Henry’s gaze from where he’s positioned behind him. Henry’s heart aches. “Alex — love, it’s alright. Where’s your mind?” Or: Sometimes, Alex needs a distraction. Something to take the edge off, to scrub away at the stress of the day. Some days, it works better than others. 

the evolution of intimacy by Poutini

There’s no spontaneity anymore. One might think this boring. That the novelty had worn off. The spark snuffed. Absolutely not

Want Me by OrchidScript

Henry had always been weak for a nice smile, but his was impossible to ignore. Blame it on summer heat and a fresh flush in his cheeks. Blame it on sunset painting the outdoor bar sweltering, romantic colors. Blame it on two healthy glasses of albariño thrumming in his bloodstream, or the good music floating on the air. Henry could blame it on anything liked if he thought long and hard about it, but that didn’t change much at the end. The core remained the same: he had been gone from the jump. -- Henry and Alex hook up on a vacation in Spain. Henry falls a bit deeper.

fill my lungs with sweetness by @priincebutt

Henry George Edward James Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor wakes up at 3 AM on his birthday to an empty bed. What could Alex possibly be getting up to at 3 AM the night before his birthday? The possibilities are endless.

got myself in quite a tangle by coffeecatsme

"It seems I've gotten myself in quite a tangle." "Tangle?" Henry's voice is hoarse, eyes darkened as they travel over Alex's body. They stop at his crotch, and Alex can see it even under the dim lights—Henry's growing hard too, a visible bulge pushing at his sweatpants. Alex's cock gives a desperate twitch. "Y'know, I was trying to put them around the tree," he starts, gesturing at the plain tree at the corner. It's clear he didn't even attempt to touch it. "And somehow I've managed to completely trap myself. Can't even move my hands." Henry makes a desperate noise at the back of his throat as his eyes snap up to Alex's face. Alex flashes him a suggestive grin, teeth biting down on his lip. "Seems I'm completely at your mercy."

The Forces of Chance and Coincidences by @stellarm

Bad weather leads to a late flight that leads to no one being where they wanted to be, but maybe everyone was where they needed to be.

I've never felt safer (than when I'm with you) by viciouslyqueer

Alex takes the bag and opens it slowly, careful not to rip it, and gasps quietly as he sees what’s inside. “H, you didn’t…” Strong arms wrap around his waist from behind, Henry’s chest warm against his back. “Do you like it?” Henry asks in a whisper, resting his chin on Alex’s shoulder. Alex doesn’t know what to say. Gingerly, like he might ruin it with even the smallest touch, he takes out the silky fabric and holds it up in front of them. It’s a gorgeous dress, fancy too, in a deep red color with thin straps and an open back. It’s long, almost touching the floor even as Alex holds it up and has a slit on the left side that would probably end a little above Alex’s knee.

An Amateur's Guide to Professional Gift-Giving by anincompletelist

Alex, a former-law-student-taking-some-time-off turned professional part-time gift giver, is tasked with finding a gift for the most high profile client he's ever worked with, both in and out of the world of law. It turns out finding the perfect gift for the Prince of Wales might be easier than he'd anticipated.

Love At First Bark by everwitch

“I still don’t know your name, do I?” Henry watches Alex where he’s crouched down in front of David and gently scratching David below his chin. David absolutely loves Alex. Henry can relate. “It’s David,” Henry supplies. “Cool,” Alex says. “And what’s the dog’s name?” Henry blinks at him. “... David?” “What?” Alex exclaims. He looks from David to Henry and then back at David again. “Wow, okay, that is a choice.” Henry wants to sink through the earth and never come back up again.

don't let me get drunk again by headabovethewater

Alex had never wanted to cancel plans as much as he had while watching Henry pull a pair of light wash, tight jeans over his stockinged legs and bare ass. Christ, he’s getting hard thinking about it now.

The Beginner's Guide to Floristry by clottedcreamfudge

As if there's anything romantic about it; as if it's not the most humiliating death Alex can imagine. This is why he doesn't do relationships. This is why he never will. The risk, as far as he fucking sees it, is too great. -- Hanahaki Disease is a fictional disease where the victim of unrequited or one-sided love begins to vomit or cough up the petals and flowers of a flowering plant growing in their lungs, which will eventually grow large enough to render breathing impossible.

Everything you take, you make it better. So go on, take forever by @hgejfmw-hgejhsf

It's 2024, and nobody knows they're engaged. But they will, just as soon as Alex can decide what to wear to his birthday dinner. Henry has an idea and a special gift to match.

false pretenses by rizcriz

Henry spins around, glaring at Alex. “For christs sake,” He hisses, holding a hand out between them. “Can we just not? I do not have the capacity to pretend to hate you today.” Alex splutters as Henry turns on his heel and starts to walk away. He stares after him helplessly. “Pretend?” After a beat, he starts to follow after him, “What the fuck do you mean pretend?” Three years of breathing down each others necks, fighting every time they come in contact with each other. And if Henry is saying every single thing on his end has been pretend, Alex Claremont-Diaz is going to have a fucking breakdown. Because he has been harboring this stupid fucking crush and burying it beneath false antagonism, meeting Henry where he’s at, for three years, and if Henry is implying that they’re both faking it— -- or, Alex learns better.

turn the desert to glass (you would be the one) by @taste-thewaste

Henry and Alex's domestic bliss has lead to some changes in Henry's body. Henry doesn't really mind being a little chubby, but he wonders if Alex does. Alex, it turns out, does not. Not one bit. He does not mind one bit, and he is more than eager to prove it.

coming on fast like good dreams do by cricketnationrise

When Henry recovers from his unexpected factory reset, he still can’t really breathe properly and somehow Alex is still standing in front of him with a hopeful and excited expression on his face. “Run that by me again?” he asks faintly. “I need your help.” “Right…” “I need you to edge me. Like a lot,” Alex says with a shrug. Nope, it’s not any clearer a second time around.

as always, let me know if you want to be tagged in future lists, whether you're a reader or writer!

tagging @starkfridays @stilesgivesmefeels @midnightsfp @sarahjswift @enablelove

[heygerald]

Falling Without A Harness - Chapter 5

AU where Tom Ryder is still an asshole, just not a psychotic one. When he has good news, but no one to share it with, Parker invites him along to her brother's birthday party. A moment of weakness, or a moment for him to prove he's more than just his Hollywood ego?

read the story here: prev / next

"—and Jody said she was going to wear something simple, maybe jeans and a t-shirt, but I'm not really sure I want to match that vibe or go for something a little more, you know, fun. Maybe I could finally break out the bucket hat tonight," Colt's voice droned on from the phone tucked indelicately into the crevice of her neck and shoulder. Parker was only half listening, as was the usual when it came to her brother's incessant rambling about anything related to the pretty blonde camerawoman, and while he talked, she made work of slowly peeling strips of painters tape from the freshly painted wall. The ball in her hand was nicely sized by this point of the conversation. "So, anyway... uh, wait, what was the point?"

"Was there a point?" she mused aloud. "I stopped listening when you started talking about some pony she rode once at her twelfth birthday party."

She heard him snap his fingers. "Right—the birthday party."

"Hers or yours?"

"Mine! Listen, I know that you all put a lot of work into planning this shindig—"

"Shindig? God, you're old!"

"—but I would really appreciate if you told me what to expect tonight. Just a hint will do. I'm not trying to show up wearing dress shoes to a disco if you know what I mean."

Parker stuck another piece of tape onto the ever-growing ball with a blithe snort. "I never know what you mean."

"Park," he whined, much like a child, and not the thirty-something year old man that he was. Was this year number thirty-seven or thirty-eight? She should probably figure that out before putting candles on his cake. "Come onnnnnn. Just tell me. Just a hint!"

"And ruin the surprise? No way, Jose."

"But it's my birthday surprise! You can spoil it for me. I mean, realistically, no one would blame you if, maybe, you accidentally let the surprise slip. It'd be expected coming from you, actually."

She frowned. "What do you mean it would be expected coming from me?"

"Well, you know, you can't keep a secret to save your life."

Parker tossed the ball of tape into the trash and picked up the broom with an indignant scoff. "Excuse me, I am a very good secret keeper."

A long winded and high-pitched whine followed, and she winced at the volume of it. Parker switched the phone to her other ear, certain that between her brother and Melissa she had permanent hearing damage.

"Oh, so now all of the sudden you're a locked vault!" he blathered on. "Where was this dedication to silence when I got sick at Macy Lindwigs wedding and you spent the entire evening telling everyone you could find?"

An image of Macy Lindwig, dressed to the nines in a beautiful handmade wedding dress, staring in horror as her brother puked in an azalea bush three minutes before the ceremony started came to mind.

"Oh, I totally forgot about that," she snickered, the memory almost too sweet to ignore now that it had been brought back up. "You ruined her heels that night, you know. What was I supposed to do? Not tell everyone?"

"For starters. Or, at the very least, you could have refrained from blabbing about it at Christmas," he muttered petulantly. "Grandma never looked at me the same way again. She still won't let me near her rose garden."

"Cause and effect," Parker chirped. "You drank one too many tequila shots the night before, and thus, you have to suffer the fate of Grandma judging you every Christmas Eve."

"Miami Vice premiered the night before!" he argued, shouting, in what she suspected was a deranged manner. Parker hoped he was somewhere public; perhaps a grocery store or laundromat. "Just another example of how you can't keep a secret for the life of you, not even when your brother's good name is at stake. Your only true sibling, might I add."

"And here I thought I was an orphan found in a box."

She could hear Colt kicking something, palm clasped over the speaker as he whined, before he was back. "You're worse than Judas, you know. You ruin lives just for the fun of it, no silver needed."

"Are you offering silver?"

A cough. "Uh, I mean, I'm a little tight on silver at the moment. I think I have a free sub from Publix somewhere around here."

"A coupon. Wow. So generous."

"It's a punch card, and those aren't easy to fill out, you know," he huffed indignantly, obviously put out that Parker wasn't going to accept his lackluster offer. "What if I say pretty please?"

"Ha! Nice try. I happen to like Jody, so even if I wanted to tell you what we're doing tonight—which I don't—I'm not going to. She was really excited to help me plan this year."

Some spluttering followed her resolution, before he was kicking something again. Apparently, whatever he kicked was harder than he thought, however, and the next moment her brother was wheezing in pain.

"Jesus, take it easy, alright? You're going to need your toes for tonight."

In a breathless voice, he weaseled, "tonight at...?"

But Parker was no novice when it came to keeping secrets from her brother, and so she didn't fall for the trick. "Ha, nice try," she snorted while stooping to sweep her pile of dust and paint chips off the ground. Shades of green and white stained her hands, but she didn't bother to clean them off. It would be a pointless endeavor, after all, considering what they had planned for Colt's birthday party later that evening. "I'm trying to stay on Jody's good side."

"Both of her sides are good sides," was his immediate response, something wistful coloring his tone. "She's gorgeous. If you haven't noticed."

"Trust me," Parker deadpanned with a blithe glance at her own disheveled appearance, "I've noticed."

"Do you think I should bring her flowers?"

"To your birthday party?"

"Girls like flowers. Plus, she's planning the whole thing."

"I helped!"

"I'm not bringing you flowers to my birthday party, Park. It's not about you, you know."

"Right, of course, how could I have forgotten?" she deadpanned. However, despite his disinterest in showing her any gratitude, Parker smiled at the concept that there was a man out in this world so infatuated by a woman, that he not only spent all his time talking about her, but he also wanted to bring her flowers for no good reason. If only she could find someone like that who wasn't her brother. Wishes and wants, she supposed. "As nice of a thought as that is, don't bring her flowers tonight. They'll end up wilted by the time she gets back home from the party. If they aren't totally trashed first, that is."

His tone pitched higher, eagerly. "Trashed? Why would they be trashed? Are we doing some floral vandalism tonight? Oh!" Colt cried, hands clapping together. "Are we going to a wreck-it room? I've always wanted to do something like that. You know, somewhere that wasn't on a set, anyway, where I'm being beat up for a living with props."

Parker covered the speaker of her phone to curse at herself. While she hadn't ruined the surprise, Colt was like a dog with a hambone, and was not likely to let it go anytime soon.

She cleared her throat and attempted indifference. "Not even close," she said, but it didn't sound super convincing, and with an exasperated huff, she threw her hands up. "Jesus, Colt, you're going to get me into trouble! Just chill out. Jody should be picking you up soon, anyway."

"Picking me up soon for...?"

Colt's whining was interrupted by the tinkle of the front bell, and as she switched her phone back to her right ear, Parker took a moment to scoop up the paint-splattered tarp sprawled across the floor.

Melissa had been on to something with her suggestion to repaint the store, and while they had only gotten the walls finished over the past two and a half weeks, the mossy green color with gold accented picture frames really gave some life back to her shop. It still had that musty smell, as well as a pair of flickering lightbulbs from the janky electrical sockets, but they were definitely taking a step in the right direction. The color made everything feel cozier, and once they coated the bookshelves with shades of blue and yellow and replaced the overhead fluorescents with something warmer, she thought it might look like an entirely new store for the price of a few gallons of paint.

Not to mention the color stood out from the recent tan and brown trend that had swept across Hollywood hills. Win, win.

"Ugh! Stop trying to spoil your own surprise and let it happen, alright? You're going to love it," she pacified half-heartedly while booting a stool out of the way. Too deep of a breath had the smell of laquear and paint fumes killing off some braincells, and Parker dropped the tarp along with the rest of the paint materials with a cross-eyed huff. "Plus, it was all Jody's idea, so if you hate it, I would keep that to your..."

Parker paused halfway up the aisle.

On the far end of it, a brown and black colored dog sat patiently wagging its tail at her. Its tongue was sticking out of the side of its mouth, but despite Elon Musk's predictions about the existence of intelligent life in the galaxy, she was pretty sure that the local population of Hollywood mutts had yet to grow opposable thumbs capable of opening a door.

She blinked at it.

"Er, listen," she muttered into the phone, gaze darting past the dog, but not seeing its owner. "I have to go. There's a dog situation that I need to take care of."

"A dog? I've been asking you for years to get a dog, and now you finally decide to get one on my birthday! That's so totally fu—"

Parker hung up before he could complain any further, and slowly tucked her phone into the back pocket of her jeans. The dog barked at her, as if excited to finally have her attention.

"Er—hi. Did you—how did you get in here?" she asked.

It responded by tilting its head to a ninety-degree angle. She stared, waiting, as if the language barrier would suddenly disappear.

Unsurprisingly, it didn't. The dog barked a second time.

"I don't have any treats on me," she said again, not sure else what to say, but certainly feeling like she should say something. It trotted towards her, and though it seemed friendly at first, when it stuck its head into her crotch to take too deep a sniff for comfort, Parker jumped backwards. "Ah—fuck! Buy a girl dinner first, huh?"

She sidestepped the dog, hands splayed out in front of her like she was a robbery victim, and did her best to avoid being felt up as the dog followed her towards the storefront. It nosed her rear end, and Parker let out an undignified squeak.

"Jesus! I know the humane society is underfunded and all, but this is a little ridiculous, don't you think?" she asked it.

The dog darted in front of her, nose going right back for the crotch, and Parker just barely managed to leap onto Melissa's sunken reading chair when an increasingly familiar head of blonde hair stepped out from behind one of the bookshelves.

"Talon, Jean Claude," he said, and as though the dog hadn't just been harassing her, it plopped down onto the floor right beside him. Dog and owner blinked at her in bemusement. "Don't seriously tell me that you're afraid of dogs."

Parker shot him a disgruntled glare in response, but Tom didn't seem to mind the heat packed behind it. Instead, he smirked at her, crossed one arm over the other, and languidly leaned back against the front counter.

It was obvious he was laughing at her, and not with her, and Parker added it to the list of all the things she couldn't stand about Tom Ryder. Worse though, she couldn't help but subconsciously smooth a hand over her hair, because where Jody was effortlessly gorgeous, Parker required quite a bit of effort not to look awful. And right now, with paint-stained pants, a half-assed pair of dutch braids, and miscolored converse, she was certainly not showing him her good side.

If she even had one, that is.

"I should have known you would have a pervy dog," she said while looking down her nose at him. Literally, too, considering she was still standing on the chair. Parker flushed a bright red at the realization and none-too-glamorously clambered down onto her feet. "And French, too. I think that's stereotyping, Ryder."

Despite the distrustful look she shot the dog, he seemed a whole lot less pervy and rabid now that she knew he had an owner, and when she approached it, its tail flapped back and forth excitedly.

"Insulting an entire country?" Tom harrumphed as she started to scratch the dog between its ears. "Maybe you should sit through PR training with me next time Gail hosts a session."

She blew a bland raspberry as she read the dog's name tag.

Jean Claude. Huh. Cute.

He let out a low whine when she hit a particularly sensitive spot, and in delight, he rolled onto his back with half-lidded eyes.

"Is this the one you were talking to the other day, or do you have any other expat mutts that I should know about? I can only be felt up so many times before I file a harassment complaint."

"Jean Claude isn't a mutt," he corrected her, disdain at the very idea of owning a mutt. Parker supposed adopting a kennel-dog was likely below him, being a superstar and what not. "He's an Australian Kelpie, pure-bred, and he certainly wasn't fucking cheap. His parents are award winning cattle dogs in the Australian circuit."

"That's an award category?"

"Hmph. Laugh all you want, but I'd bet he's better trained than you are. He's even trained to attack someone in the balls on command."

"So am I," she sassed while making kissy faces at Jean Claude. "Oh, he's cute. Yes, you are. Yes, you are," she cooed.

He ate it right up, tail flapping in every direction, and when she spared Tom a glance, she could feel the jealousy rolling off him that someone else was getting more attention. Dog or not. Parker snickered.

"Sorry you're stuck with this one," she added, jerking a thumb over her shoulder to gesture in Tom's general area. "But trust me, you're way cuter, and probably lower maintenance than he is."

Tom cleared his throat. "Are you done?"

"Jealous?"

"Of a dog?" he deadpanned, rolling his eyes beneath a pair of expensive Ray Bans—not at all disproving the theory—and Parker smiled at her private joke. "Hardly."

She leaned closer to Jean Claude, and spoke in a stage whisper, "I think he's jealous."

And—yup—that seemed to do it.

Tom pushed off the counter with a sharp huff, unamused by her teasing, and make a command in French. Jean Claude bounded onto his feet, trotted to where Tom was, and curled up between his legs.

Parker stood and planted her hands onto her hips. "Real mature."

"I can always show you his attack command," Tom threatened. "I doubt you'll find him as adorable when he attacks you. It's always a hit at parties, watching someone get their balls bitten off."

"I think I'm missing a critical component for that trick to work," she pointed out with a dry smile. "But, anyway, what are you doing here? If you came to return my books, they're yours, considering how much you paid for them the other day."

He shrugged. "Maybe I want my change."

"You came all the way here, through traffic, to get your change?" she echoed, clearly disbelieving his piss poor excuse. Under her stare, Tom shuffled uncomfortably on his feet. "Hm. I thought I was supposed to be the penny pincher between the two of us."

"Maybe it's not the money I care about. It's the principle of the whole thing."

"Ha! You expect me to believe that you have principles?"

Tom huffed, but she caught the crooked upturn of his mouth. Still, he played the victim—always acting, this one. "You're right. I don't just deserve change. I should get a full refund, considering how awful your book recommendations were. Not to mention the books practically fell apart when I touched them. Clearly, you sell cheap products."

"Clearly," she muttered, while flipping the sign on the front door from OPEN to CLOSED. There wasn't much going on outside, anyway, and she doubted she would be missing any customers by taking the day off early.

"You want to tell me what you're really doing here? Because we both know you liked my recommendations," she said matter-of-factly, moving to the cash register now. She had made a few sales throughout the day, more than a typical Friday, and so she carefully began stacking her receipts. "I mean, who wouldn't? Those are good books I gave you. Contact is in my top ten."

Tom leaned on the counter. "Books I bought."

She waved him off, stack of receipts in hand, as she locked the lower cabinet. Tom could complain all he wanted, but she did know that he liked her book recommendations. He had finished them all within a week, when he likely should have been spending more attention devoted to practicing for his audition. Granted, it was a sci-fi movie he was auditioning for, but—

She startled.

"Oh, duh!" Parker sprung to her full height with a curious look. "Did you get the part?"

Tom smirked.

It wasn't bashful or pleasant or soft like authors typically described their tall, dark, and handsome characters, but it was so very him that she hardly minded it. In fact, Parker sort of liked it. It crinkled the soft lines by his eyes, loosened the tension in his shoulders, and made him look younger. Nicer. Cuter.

"Of course I did," he sassed. "I told you I was going to get it."

She ignored his blatant peacocking to punch him in the shoulder. The action seemed to shock him, and Tom clutched the spot with his other hand—as if she had done some real damage—while Parker grinned. "Holy shit, that's great! I mean, sure, you were a shoo-in or whatever, but this is a big deal. Right? It's a big deal? You must be jumping off the walls right now!"

Tom gave a bemused huff, eyes darting over the length of her face, and nodded. "Biggest movie I've gotten yet," he said. "My first sci-fi film too, so, that's going to get my name out there even more than it was. I mean, if I thought I was well known before... after this, everyone will know who Tom Ryder is."

"That's awesome!"

Tom rolled his eyes at her enthusiasm, clearly not buying into it, and though Parker was so excited on his behalf, Tom seemed like he was fighting off indifference to the news. "Yeah, well, a role's a role, you know."

"Well, yeah," she hedged, waving a hand at him, "but this is your first sci-fi role, and it was one that you even told me you wanted to get. You must be at least a little excited for it. Sci-fi is so interesting, I bet filming it is gonna be a ton of fun."

"Sure," he echoed dryly. His smirk had returned, and though she wouldn't necessarily classify what his face was doing now as a smile, it was certainly close. "Fun. That's what I'm aiming for in my career: fun."

"Oh, please," she clucked her tongue at him, receipts shoved hastily into their folder. "You can be a huge movie star and still have fun doing it. I mean, isn't that the point? Doing something you love and all that. I'd imagine it's going to be a whole new experience for you, stepping into a sci-fi set."

He hemmed, mouth twisting between a smile and a frown. "I guess."

He didn't sound all that convinced. In fact, when Parker thought about it, she seemed to be far more excited about the role than he did. She tilted her head at him suspiciously. "Alright, well... what are you doing to celebrate?" she asked. "A vacation? Buying yourself a new car? Oooh—Legoland?"

He furrowed his brows at her in surprised. "Legoland?"

"It's what I would do," she shrugged. "Probably, anyway. I've never been because the tickets just don't seem worth the price, but if I had just landed a giant role in a giant blockbuster, I think buying a ticket would be the least of my worries. You could probably even write it off on your taxes."

He blinked at her. "Poor people are so sad to me."

She stuck her tongue out at him, and took delight in the way that he huffed in amusement. "Well? Come on—make me jealous—what are you doing?"

Tom shrugged. "Gail's throwing a big party next week to announce the role. She always does that. Invites her producer friends and talent agents and that sort of stuff. There'll probably be some sort of attraction, singers or a zebra or something."

"Casual," she snorted.

"She has a weird thing for exotic animals, I don't know."

"Seems like it. But that's what she's doing, what are you doing?" she needled further. "I mean, I assumed you would do a big party with your friends before then. You know—cops get called, party crashers—the whole scene."

Tom hesitated to answer, and when he did, he didn't sound all that much like himself. "Well, I can't really do that—she controls when I make go public with the news—has the whole timeline figured out, and manages all the press for it. She doesn't let me tell people ahead of time."

"I'm people."

He rolled his eyes. "You're a nobody," he said. Not to be mean; no, Tom was very clear in his words when he intended to be mean. Instead, he had said it nonchalantly, as if it was a universal truth that everyone understood. And, in all honesty, Parker got it. "I mean, who are you going to tell that would care, you know?"

"Okay, ouch," she muttered still, before barreling on. "Don't you have any non-work friends that you can go get drinks with?"

"All my friends are work friends."

"What about people that don't know Gail?"

Tom huffed and waved a hand at her. "That's the same thing, you know. She introduced me to everyone I know in the industry. Other than some set hands, we have the same circle."

Parker sank onto her heels, feeling slighted on his behalf, but knowing that she didn't really have a right to. Surely, Tom Ryder would have stood up to Gail if he didn't like her hands-on, helicopter parent approach to managing his life. And clearly their work relationship was beneficial to them both. He certainly didn't need a nobody like her feeling sorry for him.

And yet, she did.

Because, as she listened to him talk, it felt like he had to give up everything just to be a somebody in Hollywood. And while it might have been the norm for him, it was absolutely not the norm for everybody.

Did he even realize that?

"Fuck that," Parker said before she could think better of it, emotions getting the better of her. Colt always joked that she had a bleeding heart, but she had never thought there was anything wrong with that. "Come hang out with me, then."

Tom arched a brow at her, mouth parted dumbly. "...what?"

She shrugged, feeling a little like a specimen beneath a microscope, and struggled to explain herself. "I mean, you just said that Gail doesn't want you telling anybody that matters, and I only hang out with people that don't matter in the grand scheme of Hollywood politics. I'm getting ready to head to Colt's birthday party after this, and if you're not doing anything else, you may as well come with me. It won't be a celebration for you, obviously, but... it'll be fun."

He blinked at her slowly, surprise written in the fine lines of his face.

"We're not going to murder you," she huffed indignantly.

"I—I never hang out with Colt or those guys."

"Yeah, for good reason. They all sort of hate you for being an asshole on set to them. Like, all the time. I wouldn't want to hang out with you outside of work either, if I was them."

He scowled. "Oh, well, when you put it like that," he huffed. "Obviously, they're not going to want me to come. And, I may be an asshole, but I try not to gatecrash birthday parties."

She waved his concern away with a paint-stained hand. "First off, you won't be gatecrashing, I'm literally extending an invite. And secondly, they only hate you because you're a prick on set. What better way to prove that you're not a prick, by coming to Colt's birthday party, and—you know—actually being nice for once. Just don't be a dickwad. Or an asshole. Or any sort of thing that you usually are on a normal day."

"I think the saying is 'always be yourself'," he deadpanned.

"That absolutely doesn't apply here."

"Smartass."

Parker nudged him in the shoulder with an exasperated look. "Come on! What else are you going to do? Do some irresponsible spending and buy everyone a round of drinks. I bet they'll think differently of you after everybody is a few beers in."

Tom didn't seem too convinced with her logic. "Crashing his birthday party doesn't seem the best way to get on Colt's good side. I didn't even know it was his birthday."

"Now you do," she shrugged, as if it wasn't a big deal. And—well—her brother was probably going to bitch about Tom's presence at the party, but Parker also believed that after a few shots of liquor, everyone would get over the issue fairly quick. Not to mention the party itself was designed for stress relief. Bringing Tom may actually make the night. With a conniving wiggle of her brows, Parker tried again. "I know for a fact that there's room for one more. Jody and I planned the whole thing together, and if she's allowed a plus-one, so am I. Jean Claude can even come. Colt loves dogs."

Tom seemed to sway a little further with her reasoning, and with a slow nod, he finally agreed. He certainly didn't look happy about it though.

Parker punched the air. Oh, Colt is going to love this.

"Awesome! Give me a minute to lock up, and then we can go."

"Fine," he huffed, not too unlike that of a sulky toddler. "But I'm driving."

Parker smiled. Her car was a piece of shit that barely worked on a good day. She was going to insist he drive in the first place. Plus, now, she could get really drunk.

"Fine by me," was all she said, not eager to give away that piece of information just yet. "Just promise me you won't be an asshole. I won't be able to keep my reputation of favorite sister if you ruin the night."

"I'm not going to ruin the night," he snarked with a petulant glare. Parker shrugged, grabbing her things, as he asked, "...wait, I thought you were his only sister?"

"Exactly. Now, come on, I want to get there before they start assigning teams."

The bell rang as she stepped outside, Jean Claude trotting with her, and Tom hesitated for a brief moment before what she said caught up to him.

"Wait," he called, jogging after her. "What do you mean teams?"

---

Tom's presence did not go unnoticed. In fact, it had taken a mere three minutes before Jody was elbowing her to the side, a stern, disbelieving look furrowing her brows. She had let it go in a huff, however, when Parker pointed out that Tom had promised to be on his best behavior, as well as promised to buy the first round of drinks once the game was over.

That had been a lie, of course, but she supposed she could deal with that tantrum later.

Colt, on the other hand, hadn't been so easily placated, and as the twenty odd players stood in a circle, listening to the instructor drone on about safety, he weaseled next to her with a glare.

"I can't believe you brought Ryder," he hissed for the third time that night, hot breath on her face. She would have shoved him away if the instructor hadn't already reprimanded then twice for being distracting. "I mean, seriously Park, I can't stand the guy."

"Oh, really? I couldn't tell."

"Really!"

"Well, I'm sorry," she shrugged, although the apology was half-hearted at best, and Colt seemed to know this as he narrowed his eyes at her irritably. She huffed. "What was I supposed to do? Leave him behind?"

"Yes," Colt whisper-yelled. Dan glanced over his shoulder at the pair, and in perfect Seavers' sibling unison, they plastered fake smiles onto their faces with a friendly wave. He shook his head at them, but likely didn't think they were worth whatever trouble they caused, and faced forward once more. "That's exactly what you should have done!"

"It's not that easy," she argued, hissing as well. "He looked so sad! Like a little abandoned puppy dog that had just been kicked. It was a moment of weakness!"

"Oh, really?" Colt drawled. Together, they glanced over at Tom to find him ignoring everyone in the group with his head stuck in his phone. When a fly buzzed too close, he swatted at it with an icy glare. "That? You couldn't say no to that?"

"I said I was sorry!"

Parker's voice hitched higher than she intended, and the instructor paused in his speech to glare at the duo. She gave him a weak smile in return, mouthing, a guilty, sorry!

The man only got two words back into his speech, however, before Colt started whining again.

"Look, I'm totally stoked about the surprise party, okay? You did a stand-up job on it and the guest list. So how could you fuck it all up so close to the finish line?"

"What the hell does that even mean?" she asked in bewilderment. Parker shook her head. "Seriously, you need to update your sayings."

"Update my—?" Colt bit off a groan, pinching the bridge of his nose to take a long, overdrawn breath. "Why was he even at your bookstore? Since when did you two become friends? What happened to the whole—asshole, asshole, asshole—bit you had going on?"

"I still think he's an asshole," she shot back. But, well, when she caught Tom's gaze across the grass, she faltered. Did she think he was an asshole at his core? Or had he simply become someone she was beginning to understand—a dog that lashed out when someone got too close? Parker rubbed circles into her temple. "And we're not friends. And, even if we were, you have no one to blame but yourself."

"Myself?" he echoed in disbelief. "What do I have to do with this?"

"You're the one that gave him my phone number."

Colt snorted, shaking his head at her. "Fat chance of that," he said. Parker, thinking he was joking at first, fell silent when he caught the look in his eye. But, if Colt hadn't given Tom her phone number, then who had? she wondered, mentally counting down the list of people it could have possibly been.

Bigger fish to fry, she reminded herself when the list made her go cross-eyed.

"Whatever. We're not friends or buddies or whatever you think we are, so you can stop worrying about that."

Colt snorted. "Oh, sure you're not. He just happens to hang out around your bookshop and you share recommendations and, oh yeah! You bring him as a plus-one to my birthday party!"

Parker scowled. "I made the guest list, I think I have a right to bring someone along with."

"Sure, someone. Not Jaws over there."

She frowned at him, thrown off by the random insult. "Jaws?" she echoed, crinkling her nose distastefully. "What does a shark have to do with this?"

Colt sighed. "No, not the shark, the James Bond villain."

"That's a stupid name for a villain."

"I didn't write the damn thing."

"Okay, well, maybe he has the arrogance of a James Bond villain, but at least pick one from this century."

"Silva?"

"Nah. Whose the the one with the weird eye?"

Colt hummed thoughtfully, gaze darting over towards Tom. "Le Chiffre?"

Parker snapped her fingers and pointed at him. "That one!"

"Yeah, alright, I'll give you that," he conceded, nodding. "He does give off Bond villain vibes with the sunglasses and hair-do."

"Right? Oh you should have seen these glasses he was wearing last time. They were huge, and yellow tinted; like Tony Stark would wear. They were so ridiculous."

Colt snickered for a moment, enjoying mocking Tom with his sister, before realizing that he was currently mad at her. He threw his head back with a subtle groan. "Stop doing that! I'm still mad at you!"

Parker gave her brother a blithe look. "I think you're looking at this all wrong."

"Wrong? What other way should I look at it?" he snarked. "With my eyes closed?"

Resisting the urge to smack him, Parker instead gestured to their instructor, the paintball gun in his hand, and then towards Tom. "You literally get the chance to chase down and shoot, Tom Ryder, bane of your existence or whatever. Shoot him. Think about all the welts and whining and, maybe, if you're lucky, the tears you can get out of this experience. Legally. Without getting fired or arrested. What's better than that, huh? It's your very own personal rage room."

Colt considered all of that silently. He swept his gaze from the large pile of paintball guns set off to the side, to the acres of arena in front of them with inflatable obstacles, and then to his blonde alter-ego sulking at the edge of the group.

He slung an arm around Parker's shoulder with the boyish grin. "Have I ever told you how much I love you?"

Parker snorted, amused by his mood swings. "Not nearly enough. It's all Jody this, and Jody that anymore."

Jody, having finished listening to the instructor's demonstration, peered around Colt's shoulder to blink at the siblings. "What about me?"

Colt and Parker shared a silent look.

"Nothing," she said, whilst he cooed, "just talking about how pretty you are."

Jody blushed a bright rouge instantly, and Colt obviously took pleasure in that when he slung his other arm around her shoulder. Taking a deep breath, he let out a happy sigh. "My two ladies. Paintball. The smell of tears and blood on the horizon. What better way to spend a birthday?"

Parker glanced at Jody, expecting her to roll her eyes, but the camerawoman instead just smiled with something soft in her eyes.

Parker responded by wiggling out of Colt's reach. "Ew, blegh, that's disgusting. They say cooties are contagious you know."

"What on Earth are cooties?" Jody asked.

"An STD," Colt replied, only half joking, and though Jody appeared mildly disturbed by his joke, Parker had known her brother long enough to appreciate his odd ball sense of humor. "And they're not contagious if you have a shot."

Jody, not wanting to know if he was serious or not, let it go as the group slowly filed forward to get their guns, face masks, and coveralls. They followed shortly after, snickering like kids the entire way through.

In the end, Colt and Jody both got white, while Parker and Tom were given black ones.

Karma, she supposed, is that she wouldn't be able to shoot the asshole after all.

"Somehow, this is a step up for your usual clothes," said asshole chirped, pinching the baggy material hanging at her waist between his forefinger and thumb. Parker swatted him away, only for Jean Claude to bark at her. "Easy, you want to get taken down before the game even starts?"

"Please, you're lucky we're on the same team," Parker teased. He didn't seem to buy it if the blithe look he shot her was anything to go by, and she huffed at him. "I bet I could have gotten the first hit on you if we weren't on the same team. I have mad skills at paintball, Ryder. Seal Team Six type stuff., you don't even know."

Tom rolled his eyes at the same time that Colt reappeared, face mask propped on the top of his head, looking just a tad too comfortable in his onesie. Jody and Dan flanked him, and Parker didn't like their smiles one bit.

"What?" she asked.

"You suck at paintball," Colt egged. "Remember Tallahassee? You were covered in welts for weeks!"

Tom snorted, and Parker considered him the greater threat considering the fact he was standing closer to her than Colt was. She glared at him to state, "I'm not joking. I could literally take you out. Any of you," she added with a stern point of the finger sweeping through the group. "All of you!"

Not a single person believed her.

Tom went so far as to snicker at her. "I don't buy that. for a second. You're a total klutz."

She gasped. "Am not!"

Colt raised a hand. "Are too. Remember when you broke your ankle trying to play hopscotch?"

"Just—stay out of this!"

He did not, in fact, stay out of it. "What was it you said, Park? Cause and effect? You suck at sports, and the effect of that, is you're about to go down on the course."

She blew a rather wet raspberry at her brother. "Please, if you and Tom were on the same team, I would smoke both of you."

They bickered for a moment, amusing some, but boring Tom, and the A-lister broke up their argument with a long-weary sigh. "Oi! Whose to say either of you could get a shot on me?" he taunted.

The siblings turned to face him.

"Is that a challenge?" Parker asked, hands planted on her hips, whilst Colt raised his brows.

Tom shrugged, unconcerned.

"In fact, I bet I'll make it a whole round without getting shot once," Tom tacked on, ego puffing his chest out as he smirked at the group standing around. Dan rolled his eyes, while Jody coughed into her hand to hide an obvious laugh at his showboating. "I'm serious. First one to hit me gets five hundred dollars—"

Thwack! Thwack!

Tom gaped at his chest, now dotted with one yellow and one blue splatter. Parker and Colt stood in front of him, guns still smoking, and while his eyes widened in anger, the pair of siblings were more concerned with claiming the prize to notice.

"First!" Colt cried.

"What? No fucking way," Parker argued. She waved at the yellow paint splatter haphazardly, almost taking out Jody as she did so. "I was so first. Tom! Tell him!"

Tom, now even more unamused by their bickering, blinked in wide-eyed disbelief at them both. "Are you fucking serious?" he shouted. "The game didn't even start yet!"

"But you just said—"

"I meant during a match. Christ, Parker, we're on the same team," he blustered, attempting to wipe off the paint, but only managing to smear it further down his chest like a bad Jackson Pollock painting. "Fuck!"

Colt, sensing a blow-out was coming, swung his gun behind his back with a wide eyed, innocent look. "Hey man, it was all her," he started. "Totally uncool. And immature. And, really, if you need me to smack her around a little after this I totally can."

Tom glared at Colt, effectively shutting him up in seconds, before turning to Parker. Everyone watched in baited breath, nervous what he might do, and while Parker hadn't been on set long enough to know what his meltdowns looked like, the ones most familiar with Tom were left stunned by his reaction.

Or, really, how utterly tame this one was to the hundred others they had seen.

"Are you happy now?" he asked.

Parker hemmed and hawed for a moment before deciding that honesty was the best policy. "I mean, I'd be happier if you gave me my five hundred dollars."

"I'm not paying you shit."

"Oh, come on," she rolled her eyes, popping a hip as she did so. "It's not like you're cash poor or anything. You're just upset that I shot you."

Tom gaped at her in disbelief. "No shit!"

Parker, shifting her gun over her shoulder, waved the other at him blithely. "You'll get over it once the game starts. It's—heh—surprisingly therapeutic."

"Shooting me is therapeutic?"

She paused, caught up in her own statement. "Er, well, not you exactly. Just someone, in general, you know." Parker swallowed when Tom continued to stare at her. Awkwardly, she laughed. "Just... wait till you get out there, and you'll see."

Tom remained silent, blinking at her for a long, tense, moment before he rolled his eyes with a heavy sigh. And—

Thwack! Thwack! Thwack!

His gun went off before anyone could stop him, and Parker gaped at the trio of yellow paint that was now splattered across her chest. "Fucking ow!"

Tom smirked at her, blowing the muzzle of his gun for extra flare, before swinging it over his shoulder. "Huh. I guess you're right. I do feel better."

"Asshole!"

"Yeah, well, takes one to know one, right?" he snarked.

And—oh.

She could kill him. Really, seriously kill him.

But, well, the longer she stared at him and he stared at her, eyebrow cocked and a daring smirk in place, Parker realized above the hatred simmering in her chest, she felt something kindred and wanting flutter like butterflies. Something amused by the curve of his smirk, flushed by the scorching burn of his gaze, and—dare she think—understanding at the retaliatory strike. She had, afterall, shot first.

He had only lowered himself to her level; played by her rules.

And with a strong suspicion that Tom Ryder wasn't so much an asshole as he was just looking for someone to understand him, Parker's only response to that was to throw her head back and howl in laughter.

Despite this, no one else moved for a long moment, too busy darting their gazes between Parker and Tom in case they needed to intervene, but in an even more surprising turn of events, he laughed as well. Not so outright, and not nearly as loud, but he did. Prompted by his positive reaction, it wasn't long before Colt started to laugh, and then Jody, and then suddenly everyone was knelt at the waist in laughter.

It wasn't until their instructor honked a blow horn at them, none too amused with the pre-game warfare, that they calmed down. He honked the horn a second time at Parker and Tom, threatening to kick them out if they kept breaking the rules, and while they managed to stay straight-faced, the moment he turned his back on the group, they shared matching grins.

Maybe, she thought as they got into place, it hadn't been such a bad idea to bring him along.

And maybe, her brother thought at the exact same time, Parker and Tom being friends wasn't the end of the world.

[lizard-queen-izzy]

I'm actually not done thinking about it so here you guys get more thoughts.

Tma season 2 finale spoilers ahead.

Tim knew something was wrong when Jon apologized for everything. He knew Jon was going to do something stupid. He knew because he knew Jon meant that apology. And that meant he didn't think he was surviving whatever he was about to do. Because as desperately as Tim wanted and apology from him, he didn't want it to be the last words he heard from Jon.

He was willing to march back in to the Institute, with or without Martin to find out what Jon was going to do. He had no way of knowing what would happen when he did, and he still did it. And he brought a fucking the recorder to get it on tape. To make sure there was a record.

I've said it before, the beginning of season 2 from Tim's perspective is devastating, but having finished it now? It really only does get worse. Because Jon doesn't get better, but neither does Tim.

Their fight at the end of MAG 65 is such a parallel to their first conversation in the beginning of MAG 33! They're talking over eachother, they're muttering, they're cutting eachother off, they're yelling. They're yelling at eachother! Their calm back and forth is gone. Their patience with eachother is gone. It's all replaced with anger. At the situation, at the Institute, at eachother.

What starts as Tim coming in to ask Jon where he put something so quickly dissolves into bitterness. Tim being fed up with Jon's suspicious behavior, and Jon being tired of Tim's attitude. Jon tries to brush it off, tries to shove it back under the rug but Tim's exhausted. So he blows up. He's pissed, rightfully so, because Jon is still trying to find a way to blame someone in the Archives for Gertrude. To blame him.

He's grasping at straws, trying so desperately to twist the narrative to make it someone's fault. To pin the blame on someone so he can then get justice? He's rambling, he's spiraling, and Tim can't take it so he tells him to shut up. He stops him, cuts his explanation short. And tells him, point blank, to stop talking. He's sick of it, he's sick of Jon. Sick of his former friend blaming everyone around him for things they didn't do. Sick of him blaming him for it.

And Jon tries to start again, and Tim tells him to stop, to listen for once. He tells him he was happy in the Research department, and ever since Jon brought him to the Archives with him everything has been falling apart. And no one has his back.

"Elias doesn't care, Martin just wants a tea party, and Sahsa - ugh - and you! - you're treating me like I'm somehow to blame for it all, like I didn't suffer the worst right alongside you!"

Tim suffered. He suffered what Jon did, they were the most affected by the worms together. They are both irreparably damaged by the Jane Prentiss attack, mentally and physically. And Tim knows no one but Jon will get it the way he needs to be understood. He can't talk to anyone else. And Jon has made it impossible to talk to him either. Because instead of talking about it, instead of healing and working to move past it, Jon let it consume him all over. Let it swallow him whole and make him into a paranoid mess. And he's facing zero real consequences for his actions.

Jon was stalking Tim. Spying on and taking pictures of his flat. He was going through 'Sasha's desk. He was watching Martin. And all Elias did was stage one intervention style talk and then nothing. He just got to spiral even further, keep spying, keep replaying that damn CCTV video footage on a loop. Keep staring at Tim like he's the enemy.

And then they have a moment of common ground. A moment where they're both on the same page. When they realize they can't leave. And just when Tim thinks they're making progress, Jon tells him he can't trust him. Not just that, he won't trust Tim. And all they can do is, what? Keep working? In a building that won't let them go? Where everyday there's another disaster lurking around the corner? Where any of them could all be next? That's the only option?

And it is. And so he leaves. He goes back to work. Because he has to do something, and this is the only option.

And that's why he goes back in after Jon. Because if he can't leave, he's going to do something. He's going to find answers, even if it goes horribly. Because everything is already horrible.

And no matter what. No matter how mad he is at Jon. No matter how betrayed he feels. He still cares so deeply for him, and he needs to know what he's doing. Because he can't lose anyone else.

[biblicallyaccuratecrow]

ouroboros rambles chapter 2

you guys seemed to like the chapter 1 rambles, so here is chapter 2!

[spoilers for isat and twohats below the cut]

i would like to start by saying that we all need more mirabelle POV fics in our lives. she deserves only the best.

I always really liked how Mira didn't just. get over act 5? like, the things that siffrin said were hurtful! yes! and she loves him! even after that! but it doesn't erase the pain and the conflicting feelings regarding it, especially because of the no-spoilers rule... which we will get more into i proMISE! in any case I was focused a lot on the fact that Mira post canon is dealing with a Lot, what with everyone still believing that she was chosen by the Change God and yknow. saving Vaugarde, and Siffrin's overall condition doesn't help! She wants him to be okay and safe, and she has already shown that she feels immense guilt over not being able to help siffrin during the loops, so I kinda leaned hard into that.

The entire party is about to be So Tired Of People.... especially The Introverts (Odile, Mira, and Siffrin)...

The fucking cart thing came to me out of fucking nowhere. I have no idea where or why that bit came around.

Siffrin sleeping habits analysis. siffrin sleeps all curled up like a cat most of the time? theyre small scrappy, but not really the most physically strong (before the loops), and i imagine more than a few years of traveling alone would train him to be ready to protect themselves however they can, even in their sleep. I think that this eases up a bit as they get comfortable with the party, which leads to them being able to sleep "normally". but of course, that is how they wake up in the loops. negative association and trauma from waking up back in the meadow..... i don't imagine they'll be going back to that any time soon.

I do have a Full Catalog of Siffrin's injuries (because im actually insane) but that will be talked about in my chapter 3 rambles. for now though, all im gonna say is that Siffrin definitely kept the stars hidden. In my headcanon, healing craft only works when you can actually pinpoint a wound, internal or external. I'm more inclined to believe that siffrin healed them up the best they could on their own after to hide them.

Ohhhh odile. my beloved. i have so many feelings about her and how she processes siffrin's issues postcanon. feelings i will not get into until next chapter. sorry lmaoooooo. All you gotta know for now is that once she starts seeing things, she can't stop. the signs appear everywhere, and she very quickly puts the pieces together from that point. All it takes is one domino to start the cascade, and Odile is the kind of person that WILL get to the bottom of it all, no matter what it takes.

Mira's guilt. Oh man. There are some ways in which her and Siffrin are very alike, and this is one of them. She's justified in being mad, yes, but that doesn't erase the fact that she doesn't want to BE mad. She hates it. because she knows now that siffrin was suffering. She defeated the king, saved vaugarde, but the cost was her friend's health and happiness. siffrin said that they were happiest they'd ever been with the party... and yes, siffrin loves them all deeply, but she never could have wanted that love to come at such a great price.

Mira has gotta be TIRED. girl healed siffrin a grand total of (checks my page of notes from act 5) six times. with very little cooldown. and that was AFTER deflecting the ONE SHOT KILL attack from the king (which, even with the carrot method shield, does at least 1/4 damage) and unfreezing siffrin....ough. let her rest!

i love torturing isa using his crush. its so funny. bro is a disaster. brain completely short circuits at the thought of siffrin in his clothes i can IMAGINE IT SO CLEARLY.... odile is gon abe homophobic soon /silly

Siffrin's wish... this scene was really important to me. Just for clarification (and this will become a LOT more obvious later), I don't really regard this scene as Siffrin getting over what happened? Because he definitely isn't. But they have already literally let go of their wish, and I wanted to explore a more… intentional version of that? its long-lasting effects are still there, mentally and physically. it doesn't just go away. But it has served its purpose and this is my way of showing the transition point from the loops and their future with their family.

Also!!! the idea of mourning something that no longer serves its former purpose, a life you cannot get back. Siffrin can never go back to who they were before their wish. They have been fundamentally changed as a person. And while the wish did bring good things, the flipside is that it also dismantled their entire worldview and life in its entirety. They died from this wish, suffered because of it, but the meaning behind it remains, and i think that this scene kind of shows the idea that siffrin still feels compassion for what it originally meant to them. its a bittersweet reality.

[jade-len]

no but seriously though, let's say that you've never read svsss and proceeded to transmigrate into pidw as either sqq or one of bunhe's random npc shixiong/shijie. is there anything you guys would've done different from sy?

personally, if i knew that bunhe was going to literally become the embodiment of toxic masculinity, a dictator who collects women as if they were some coins, and a man who's overall just the product of the abuse cycle... i would try my damn hardest to prevent any of that lol.

but, for me, i would not promote a harem or bingge's fucked way of thinking. even if i just transmigrated as some other disciple, there would be absolutely no way i would let bunhe turn into bingge (also because.. why would i let the entire sect continue to abuse him). and, probably not even really bingmei as well? i don't know, i would obviously still protect and befriend him, but i think i'd be much more stricter about teaching bingbing morals, good ethics, mental health, all that jazz.

like, we live in a time where we actually know better about that stuff! might as well pass down our 20th century knowledge, y'know? i know sqq loves binghe the way he is, but if i read pidw i would most definitely not like bingge's character due to airplane's wack writing

(cut under is just me rambling lol)

but if i were to transmigrate as sqq... honestly, it would go two ways for me. genuinely, i think (after the ooc function) i'd just run away from the sect and take on a completely new appearance using magic airplane plant bullshit, find binghe (because i know damn well the abuse wouldn't just stop there.. also because the system will probably still demand for me to be some sort of mentor), then be like that one cool teacher or older brother figure? i'd definitely be more of that instead of a proper shizun. idk, i'd just treat binghe as if he were my little brother

or, since binghe is still bunhe and thus hasn't darkened at all, i would maybe pull him to the side and say that i'm actually not his shizun. probably claim that the real sqq hated teaching (which was why he abused binghe) and kids, so he made a doppelgänger (me) to replace him as he goes to buttfuck anywhere else from here. since i would know of luo binghe's loyalty at least from never having read svsss, i'd tell him to respect sqq's wishes

this is so that binghe would at least know that i'm not shen qingqiu. because remember, in this alternate timeline i only know pidw instead and don't know if binghe would forgive sqq for all the abuse he suffered, so don't blame me for going that route! again, i know that the system would still probably require me to be his mentor for the abyss arc, so i'd have to still stay as bingbing pretty much gets an entirely new person as his shizun. but hey, would he complain? i don't abuse kids and thus won't ever hurt him. plus, i don't think i'd be able to constantly put on a mask and pretend to be sqq, the least i could do is have luo binghe know the "truth"?

look i know that that probably breaks the system's rules, BUT remember, you can negotiate with the system. "well, i'm not revealing my identity as a transmigrator or the system? i'm technically still 'shen qingqiu', im supposed to be a doppelgänger, a copy! remember? so i'm technically him." also, i don't remember any rules about running away and such for the new identity plan, just that binghe still needs a mentor to push him off. i feel like with enough negotiation, i would be able to do this (also yes i know that i wouldn't know about the system not being strict, but i feel like i would figure it out pretty quickly, considering that i bitch a bit and will find a way to back up my argument if I'm really insistent)

speaking about the endless abyss!! yeah no i don't think i would be able to push him off. i think i'd make it abundantly clear that i don't want to, but i'm cursed to "fulfill" a prophecy or something.. either through a bunch of metaphors and stories. or, since system never said i had to full on betray him, just that he needed to be in there, i'd kinda just. tell him to jump and that there was nothing else i could teach him or something. i'll be waiting, bingbing!

and finally: what about if binghe fell in love? ...honestly don't know what i'd do with that. i feel like i'd be more gege material if anything since i'm not super different in age with bingbing, so i'd most likely see him as a friend or younger brother instead of a disciple (and i'd definitely treat him like one too. sorry, i just don't think i'd be able to take my job as a teacher or anything seriously, nonetheless actually teach teach. mentor-ish or bro figure, yeah i could do that. responsible teacher? okay, now you're asking for too much). so maybe? maybe not? i don't even know if i meet binghe's standards (which, admittedly, is kinda low but you get my point). i'd probably wanna kiss liu qingge though lol

[transgenderdoctorwhomst-old]

So I've spent the past like, two weeks, trying to dissect with my partner what exactly is making 13's first season so... uninteresting and even just bad to us. And today I've finally figured it out!

Obviously just my opinions, disclaimer I've only watched up to the end of Spyfall, this is not intended as hate but rather criticism, and you are completely free to disagree or just ignore the whole post..

I'm going to put this under a cut in order to not take up the whole dash. Topics: The Doctor's autism, and the dynamics between 13 and her companions. So, let's start!

The failure to characterize 13 consistently with past incarnations, especially in regards to the Doctor's naturally rebellious nature and extremely visible autism.

As someone who's autistic, the very very consistent autistic traits in the Doctor are always extremely obvious. And for an incarnation written with that in mind, you'd think that it would be consistent, right?

But here's where something major about the Doctor is missing: so far, as of the end of Spyfall part 2, I have rarely seen 13 engage extensively with her special interests. The only examples I can think of are when she meets Rosa Parks, visits Kerblam!, and when she meets the Solitract.

The Doctor has a strong tendency to get so caught up in their special interests that they basically will not shut up about it when it comes up, often rambling without fully checking if someone is actually listening. I... feel like I rarely see 13 do it that much? Sure, she's happy to explain things when she's asked, and she clearly has special interests, the sheer prevalence it should have in how she engages with the world is just... not really there.

The lack of it makes it feel like her character is missing something major, and was hard to put together that it was this specifically that was bothering me. I can think of a million examples of each Doctor respectively engaging with their special interests near constantly, but it feels like it's hardly there for 13 in comparison.

As for her rebellious nature, 13 has so far been remarkably passive about capitalistic crimes. I'm sure we all remember her and Kerblam!. And the spiders in the hotel. You would expect the Doctor to challenge the systems that caused those respective problems, encourage the people in those systems to fix it, but she just sort of... doesn't.

She doesn't care the warehouse employees have to save up miniscule wages just to see their family once a year, that they're tracked and constantly under threat of losing what little income they have, that even though society has progressed so this can all be automated, the powers that be are not adapting with that to provide basic necessities to the public, and instead are telling everyone they're lucky if they get to be indentured to Kerblam!. The Doctor stops a man from committing terrorism (because all protesters of these systems are also serial killer terrorists, clearly), and then doesn't stop to deal with the root cause. She just tells him he's wrong, is satisfied the company will hire more humans (put more people in the meat grinder), and leaves.

The spiders episode is a whole thing, focusing more on the side effects of the actual problem, which is capitalist businessmen cutting corners for profit and ignoring regulations, and getting away with it. The message of the episode at the end comes out as "you shouldn't actively kill any living thing for any reason", citing trapping the spiders in a room to die as more humane. But I would strongly disagree.

The humane thing to do for those spiders, who were mutated, suffering, and having a negative impact on both the local spiders and humans, would have been to swiftly kill them. The Doctor cares more about not feeling bad about killing the spiders than the system that made this happen in the first place, or ending their suffering, which feels wildly out of character.

2. The companions don't feel like they have a lot going on, and lack the kind of strange connection past companions have.

So, Graham Ryan and Yaz are all kind of just boring. I see the dynamics and relationships they're supposed to have with each other, but none of it feels compelling. I don't feel any connection to them.

At first, I thought that it was because Chibnall introduced three companions in the first episode. It's definitely a contribution, since having to introduce four major characters compared to one or two isn't the easiest thing to do. But it's possible.

Torchwood introduces six characters to us at the start: five members of Torchwood 3, and Gwen. Every single character feels distinctive, they have clashing personalities that also bounce of each other. The introduction feels great, and you can immediately watch their characters develop and change over the course of the first season.

The Doctor and the Fam? I literally cannot tell you distinctive personality traits about each of them besides basic vibes. It took until Spyfall for them to start feeling distinct. I can't tell you major flaws, major anything. I can barely describe their respective relationships to the Doctor, besides "weird friend with the time machine we know nothing about."

The single thing portrayed as a flaw in the Doctor is that she doesn't like talking about herself unprompted. They don't know a lot about her, but in her defence, they barely ask.

Past companions in New Who always have some strange relationship with the Doctor. Rose is having a situationship with him after he blew up her workplace, and has complex feelings about how travelling with him affects her life at home. Martha is having this weird situation where he's using her to fill the gap left by Rose, while trying to keep his distance, and Martha is just trying to figure out how the fuck to get him to look at her as her own person. Donna decided she wanted more in life, and by god was she going to grab the Doctor and take it, assigning herself his new best friend.

Amy met the Doctor as a child, obsessed over him for 14 years, ran away with him before her wedding, and then dragged Rory along, and ended up with the weirdest family dynamics possible. Rory isn't sure how to feel about the Doctor, and the two of them for some reason take turns being the "mature" one. Clara is overly dedicated to him and deeply enjoys the power trip that comes along with having time travel.

I can't speak about Bill or Nardole, because I haven't actually met them, but I know there's some kind of dynamic going on there.

The point is, every individual has some kind of distinctive and very strange relationship with the Doctor, from the very start. Friends, but something else. Romantically interested in each other, but dancing around that boundary. The 13th Doctor has absolutely nothing strange or compelling with hers so far.

Like, I could think of at least some with what we have! 13 decides Graham is her grandson, because Ryan and Yaz have a grandparent figure, but Graham doesn't, and then extends that to Ryan with deciding to be a great-great-grandparent figure to him.

At least in her first season, she doesn't seem opposed at all to a relationship with Yaz. The Doctor is notoriously weird about relationships. If Yaz panicked and told her mom that she was dating the Doctor, the Doctor could just roll with it and now Apparently They're Dating ???. It could be so fun! But there just... isn't anything!

Maybe it gets better in her second season onwards, but these kinds of things should be established fairly quickly. Like, at least halfway through the first series. I genuinely hoped her first season would be better on a rewatch, because I watched it while it was airing, and dropped the show after because I was just so not into it. I shouldn't have to be doing this much work to make it interesting to me! I shouldn't be enjoying early Moffat Who more than this!

Anyways if you read all this, I am very happy to hear thoughts and counterpoints, just please don't send me hate anons :)

[btsgotjams27]

fool for you ~ jjk | final

you have to decide if jeon jungkook is perfectly wrong for you.

✨ title: fool for you | ✨ pairing: jungkook x f!reader ✨ word count: 7.7k | ✨ rating: R ✨ genre/au: romance, light angst, fluff | college, fake dating, strangers to friends to lovers ✨ warnings: language, jk is a sweet dummy, but we love him anyway, jieun is just as insecure as reader and jungkook (yes, i'm trying to make y'all feel bad for her), confessions, taehyung's a good friend, time skip, jin's shoulders (you'll understand when you see the photo), yoongi shows up again, kissing, making out, marking, a smol, not so smol erection 🙈, groping, touching ✨ playlist ✨ a/n: okay, so, i'm just not happy with how this fic went T_T i literally have no one to blame but myself! the end of part 4 was actually never supposed to happen, but i wrote it in anyway *facepalm* i was stressed for days bc i'm like how do i redeem this cute, fluffy couple?? *sigh* but i tried my best(?), and i *do* explain why jk did what he did, and if you don't like it, then ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ idk what to tell you. anyway, sorry for the rant, but i just wanted to thank @here4btsfics for listening to me ramble about this fic and talking me through some plot points. ily. ✨ a/n 2: this is also not beta'd bc well, i'm impatient af. so if you see typos, that's why lol. ✨ if y'all want any cute or smutty (must be off anon) drabbles with this couple, just drop it in my inbox :) ✨ Any feedback, reblogs, and asks are appreciated.

[ SERIES MASTERLIST ] prev

Jungkook was ashamed of his actions at the carnival. It wasn't fair that he kept the kissing booth from you. Instead of letting it unravel as it did, he should have told you the truth. He didn't want to do what 'old Jungkook' would have done to make Jieun jealous. Because you had nothing in common with her. You were thoughtful and generous. And he realized he was bringing out a side of you you didn't know you had until he showed up - and that wasn't fair.

But he did enjoy that you took ownership of him, dragging him away from the line of girls. That was sexy for him, but that's beside the point. He made a mistake and needed to make amends before it was too late.

So, he got up early and put on some decent clothing besides his standard oversized shirt and sweats. He double-checked his reflection in the mirror. Before opening the door, he tugged at the collar of the brown flannel and flattened the black slacks. However, he was greeted by none other than his ex.

"What are you doing here?" he deadpanned.

Jieun somehow looked like shit today. With barely there makeup, hair in a bun, an oversized hoodie, and leggings. "Can we talk?"

He stepped through the threshold, closed the door behind him, waited for her to continue, and was displeased to see her.

"I'm…leaving."

Jungkook eyebrows knitted together in confusion, thinking okay, then leave.

"I'm moving back to New York." Jieun had mentioned it when they were still together, but she never made the decision.

"'Kay, have a safe trip then," he mumbled, stepping aside from her. He had places to go anyway.

Jieun put her hand out to stop him. "Kook–we're going to leave things like this?"

Jungkook clicked his tongue. "What do you want me to say, Jieun?"

She shrugged. "I don't know…are you going to miss me? Us? The way we used to be?" Jieun had been kicking herself ever since she had slept with Jimin. She had no idea how lucky she was with Jungkook. She was certain she had lost him and could not get him back. She reasoned that the best way to let go of Jungkook was to start over in a new city, far away from all the pain and suffering she had caused.

Jungkook wasn't made of stone. He'd been with her for a year. Although their relationship was mostly physical, they had fun together. She was fun to party and sleep with, but he couldn't see himself with her in the future. Their relationship was never more than that. Was he to blame? Hers? Perhaps both. Could it be that they hadn't met the right person with whom to do all that 'relationship' stuff?

He shrugged. "Yeah, I guess." Jungkook didn't want to be a jerk. After the fiasco with her and Jimin, many of her friends completely abandoned her. He could tell she was lonely.

Jieun chuckled, reaching for the fuzzy pink bunny keychain attached to his keys. "Remember when you tried so hard to win that for me?"

Jungkook peered at the keys in his hand.

"Was that our first date?"

Jungkook nodded.

"You spent so much money. And I swear that game's rigged, plus that guy wasn't letting you off the hook either," the two of you chuckled at the memory.

"And then at the end, when you won it, you said you worked so hard for it that you were going to keep it." She leaned over, trying to catch his gaze. "See, we did have fun together."

He wasn't sure where she was going with this. Maybe she needed some sort of forgiveness or closure from him to move on with a new chapter of her life.

"I know you hate me, Kookie—"

Jungkook interrupted. "I don't hate you." Even though she has hurt him, he does not believe he will ever hate her, and he will never in his heart hate anyone. "I was upset and hurt, but I could never hate you."

With the number of women Jungkook had dated, one would think he was a fuckboy, but he was quite the opposite. He was always true to the person he was dating, which was one of many lessons his parents taught him.

Jieun smiled half-heartedly. "Kook, you're only saying that because you have a good heart. That is one of the many reasons I will never forget you." She moved in closer, fiddling with his shirt collar. "I know you don't owe me anything, but can I ask one thing from you, and then I promise you'll never have to see me again?"

Was she really going to be out of his life for good? She'd been a menace since she saw you and Jungkook together. But, out of the goodness of his heart, he would trust her one more time. "What is it?"

"Can you kiss me like you mean it?"

Jungkook let out a scoff. "Are you kidding me?"

After everything she's put him through, she dared to ask this of him. Jieun was at the top, having everything handed to her on a silver platter. Only now to be at the bottom, searching for anyone to talk to her. So Jungkook was her last resort because she knew he had a good heart even though she had hurt him.

"I know it's stupid to ask of you, but I love you, Kook. I just…I just want to remember us–you like how we used to be, you know…before…." She paused, not wanting to bring up her infidelity again. Her guilty conscience ate her alive, sucking her in like there was no tomorrow. She knew she messed up a good thing when she asked Jungkook to kiss her, going in knowing he'd say no, but she couldn't help but try.

"If I do this, you'll stop trying to come between Y/n and me?" Jungkook didn't know for sure if she'd go back on her word. But considering she was moving back to New York, he was putting his faith and trust in her.

She extended her pinky, hoping he'd reciprocate. He hesitated but chose the kiss over the pinky promise. He kissed her but felt nothing because he didn't have feelings for her—it was you. Jungkook knew he'd have to tell you about Jieun's kiss. He knew telling you was risky, but he'd rather tell you the truth than a lie.

Jungkook pulled away, cupping her face, gazing into her eyes one last time. "Goodbye, Jieun."

Jieun began to back away. He quickly opened the door to his room, closed his eyes, and exhaled deeply. He now had to find the strength to tell you he had kissed his ex and then confess his feelings. He anticipated you to reject him and move on.

Jieun noticed you approaching as she walked to the hall entrance. Jealousy resurfaced in her body as she realized she'd never get back on Jungkook's good side. Jieun did what she was good at—-she mocked you, saying you'd lost. But she was only saying those things to make herself feel better, even though she was miserable. She was well aware that she couldn't compete with you. Jungkook had fallen head over heels when she saw you kiss him at the party. She wished you would treat Jungkook a million times better than she could.

"I might kiss you," he whispered.

"I might just let you."

Every fiber of Jungkook's wanted to kiss every inch of you. Wanted to know your ins and outs, wanted to see what you loved, what your body craved, but he stopped himself. He thought, what was he doing? This isn't how he wanted to treat you. He wanted to treat you better than anyone he's been with before.

"I'm sorry… I'm sorry. I'm being stupid and selfish and thinking with my dick instead of my head," he said, pulling back from you.

You couldn't believe how much you wanted to kiss him despite knowing he had kissed his ex-girlfriend. You hadn't even bothered to ask why he did it. "We're both stupid," your voice trembling, "I just saw you kissing your ex, and now I'm about to kiss you as well. I should...I should leave," you said as you turned to unlock the doorknob.

"Wait–do you even want to hear my explanation?"

You sighed, turning back to him. "What's there to explain Jungkook? You'll always be with girls like Jieun, and I'm not in her league. So I understand if you want to rekindle your relationship with her. People like you deserve to be together."

"So, you won't even give me a chance to explain? And what do you mean, people like us deserve to be together?"

"It's nothing–I…should go before I say something I regret."

"I was kissing her goodbye!" Jungkook cried out because he felt you would leave before he could explain himself.

You shook your head and scoffed. "That's some goodbye kiss. Bye, Jungkook."

"Look, I know you don't owe me anything, but can we just talk about this?"

You weren't sure what else there was to explain. This all started because you decided to shoot your shot with Jungkook. Then agreed to be his fake girlfriend and ended up liking him because he seemed like a decent enough guy. But in the end, it was you who was a fool.

If Jungkook truly cared about you as a friend, he would have told you about the kissing booth. He wouldn't have kissed all those girls in front of you if he was a good fake boyfriend.

But unfortunately, he was neither of those.

"You wanna talk?" you took a step toward him, pressing your hand on his chest, pushing him back. "Let's talk."

Jungkook was taken aback by your sudden boldness. He walked backward until he hit his bed and sat down.

"You could've told me about the kissing booth–as your fake girlfriend, that was unfair. Why are we pretending to date if you want to go around kissing other girls? If you were sucking faces with other girls, Jieun might not have cared, but I'm not her, and I care. I understand you had unfinished business with Jieun, but did you have to kiss her too? I was naïve to believe I could be friends with you because I didn't know who I was kidding when I tried to separate my romantic feelings from you. And, despite my best efforts, I fell for you."

Jungkook had previously had girls confess their feelings for him, but this was different. This felt real---genuine. You sounded like you were speaking from the heart. He's never had a confession like that before. After hearing everything, a part of him wanted to flee. He was afraid of not being good enough for you, especially after his actions. You deserved better than anything he could ever give you. He had no idea what you saw in him.

You stared at Jungkook and then at the floor, waiting for him to say something. "Well, you said you wanted to talk."

He paused to gather his thoughts before moving toward you while maintaining his distance. His heart was pounding in his chest, and his hands were sweating profusely. He was never good at having deep conversations.

"I'm sorry for not telling you about the kissing booth. I did it to make you jealous, to see how far you would go for me. I know it's stupid—you don't have to tell me twice."

Your eyes caught his for just a moment before looking away.

Jungkook let out a sigh. "I'm also sorry about Jieun. I won’t try to explain it further because I should have said no to her. But I was on my way to see you before she arrived. I came to tell you how much I like you and how I'm afraid of being in a real relationship because I'm afraid I'll mess up. And getting to know you over the last few weeks has made me realize you're far too good for me. That you are deserving of better than anything I could ever offer. I understand if you don't want to be friends or see me again, but I felt you should know how I felt about you."

His doe eyes explored your face trying to figure out what you were thinking. "So, what now?"

You shrugged. "I don't know, Jungkook. This whole thing is a mess." He nodded. "Maybe we should just stay friends."

"You still want to hang out with me?"

"Not like how we used to. At least for a little bit."

You needed time to recover. To keep your distance from Jungkook. To regain your footing. Get in the right frame of mind because everything Jeon Jungkook has clouded your judgment.

Everyone had final exams and presentations during the last week of school before the summer break. Fortunately, you only had one more exam before finishing your junior year.

It was a beautiful day to sit outside and study for your exam, so you did just that. You sat down beneath your favorite oak tree on campus, took out your world-lit book and notes, and flipped through your scribbled notes.

"Hey!"

You looked up to see Taehyung running over to you. Great, now what? You thought. "Hey," you replied, thinking you should be nice.

"Where are you headed for the summer?" he asked, inviting himself to sit next to you.

You found it odd because he's never struck up a conversation with you before. "I'm heading to my Aunt's in San Francisco," you said reluctantly, wondering where he was going with all of this.

"Cool."

You set down your book and notes, glaring at him." Why are you here, Taehyung?"

"Damn–a guy can't be curious? Sheesh–what's got your panties in a twist?" Taehyung cocked his brow.

You deadpanned, waiting for him to explain why he was talking to you.

"Okay–I'm here to talk about Jungkook."

You continued to stare blankly at him. You needed to understand what Jungkook had to do with anything. It's been a week since you last saw or spoke to him. You two agreed just to be friends and nothing else.

Taehyung cleared his throat, adjusting his position. "I need you to take him back."

"What? What do you mean?"

"He's been mopey and lovesick ever since you stopped dating. It's quite sickening to see it unfold in front of my eyes. All he can think about is how much he misses you, how much he misses hanging out with you, how much he misses this and that. He literally wears your hair tie as jewelry around his wrist. When you think about it, it's kind of creepy." For a brief moment, he looked off into the distance. "Anyway–all this to say is, for the love of god, please get back together with him. I can't stand him being like this anymore. I'm gonna fucking scream."

You couldn't help but chuckle at his request. It's strange how the tables have flipped. You were head over heels in love with Jungkook, and now you were the polar opposite. Granted, you were still trying to suppress your feelings for him, but hearing him be so lovesick over you made your heart skip a beat.

"He didn't tell you, did he?"

"Tell me what? That you guys were fake dating? He told me what went down after the kissing booth. I told him he was dumb for kissing all those girls if he really liked you, told him he should've just been honest with you from the get-go."

Wow–you definitely weren't expecting this conversation when Taehyung sat down next to you.

"Did Jungkook tell you to say all of this?"

Taehyung gave you a funny look. "What? No. I came here on my own accord. Just because I like to party and sleep around doesn't mean I don't care about my friends. Jungkook has always been there for me when I needed him, so I'm returning the favor. You can accept it as is or continue to make assumptions about my intentions."

"Sorry," you mumbled, "I hope you understand why I'm cautious about everything. But you understand why, right?"

"I get it. Jungkook hurt you by not being upfront about his feelings, but it's never too late to start over again."

"You're a good friend, Taehyung."

He flashed a boxy smile at you. "I know."

Arriving back at your dorm after dinner, you couldn’t stop thinking about your conversation with Taehyung. Your heart wanted to forgive Jungkook right away, but your head told you to slow down because that's how you got into trouble in the first place.

Your room was empty due to you and Lyla’s things being packed up and stored for the summer. Laying on your bed, a ding from your phone went off.

Jungkook 9:27 PM Hey. When are you leaving?

You 9:28 PM I’m leaving tomorrow. My flight is at 2.

Jungkook 9:29 PM Is it okay if I talk to you tomorrow before you leave?

You 9:30 PM Yeah. Meet me outside of my hall. Around 10?

Jungkook 9:31 PM Great! I’ll see you then!

The following morning, you woke up extra early to prepare for whatever Jungkook needed to talk to you about. You stood in front of the mirror, telling yourself, 'No' several times.

"What are you doing, weirdo?" Lyla asked as she came in, brushing past you to get her toothbrush.

"I'm hyping myself up to say no to Jungkook."

Lyla snickered, putting toothpaste on her toothbrush. "Uh-huh. Good luck with that, babe."

"You're very encouraging. Thanks," you said sarcastically.

She placed a kiss on your cheek before beginning to brush. "You're very welcome!"

You could see Jungkook waiting outside your hall's lobby as you walked through it. One thing you liked about him was that he was always on time. When you opened the door, it creaked loudly, alerting him to your presence.

Jungkook peered at you, sending a soft smile. "Hey."

"Hi," you answered with a thin smile, standing next to him.

"You look beautiful today."

Jungkook looked effortlessly good. He could never look bad if you were honest. He could wear a garbage bag, and you'd be on your knees. Today, however, he wore a blue and white windbreaker with a white tee and ripped jeans. You wished things had gone differently for the two of you.

You crossed your arms and mumbled, 'thank you,' curious why he wanted to talk. Perhaps he was trying one last time to convince you to be more than just friends. You'd think about it, but that was your heart, not your head. You knew better, and you'd been practicing saying one word, two letters, and 'no' all morning.

"You wanted to talk to me about something?"

"Yeah, um, I know we're just gonna be friends, and I'm totally cool with that,  but I was wondering if you'd mind if I texted you this summer? Not all the time, but occasionally, just to check in on you and stuff?"

Okay, you thought. This is progress. You could do this–texting. It was pretty harmless, right? And it'd only be once in a while. Because one thing was for sure, you didn't want to go all heart eyes for him so quickly.

"Yeah, I think that'd be okay." Jungkook beamed when you said okay. "And where will you be this summer?"

"I'll be at my uncle's in Seattle. Gonna spend time with him and my Aunt. You should come to visit." You let out a chuckle, and then Jungkook realized what he had asked of you. "Sorry–I'm getting ahead of myself there."

"'S okay," you said. You found Jungkook's eagerness adorable. "Anything else?" You were hoping that was the only thing because you feared the longer you were in his presence, the more you'd want to give in to him.

"I hope you have a good summer," he said, stuffing his hands into his jacket pockets and glancing at you.

"Thanks."

"I'll talk to you soon?"

You nodded, watching him walk away ahead of you. "Jungkook!" He turned around, his doe eyes wide open. It took everything you had not to say everything that was on your mind, but you had to bite your tongue. "Have a good summer."

His dimple was deeply etched into the softness of his cheek, and the corners of his mouth curved into a smile. He gave one last wave before departing.

When he was out of sight, you breathed a sigh of relief. Wanting to pat yourself on the back because you didn't let on more than you should. Your answers to his questions were short and concise, without hounding for more. Whew.

~ One month later ~ 

Staying at your Aunt's was great. You loved San Francisco. It was a completely different vibe from southern California. The weather was breezy, the sun was always out, and there were many things to do in the Bay Area.

Halfway into the month and you hadn't heard anything from Jungkook. It's not like you were jumping at every notification when your phone buzzed, but he did say he would text you.

"Why do you keep looking at your phone?" Your Aunt Jo asked, peering at your screen.

You flipped your phone over to hide your lock screen. "I'm not," you countered.

"You're waiting on a boy, aren't you?"

Flashing a thin smile, you quipped back at her. "I'm not."

"He'll call you, don't worry so much. It always happens when you're least expecting it."

Your Aunt's had her fair share of men and women, and tonight was no different. The new guy she was seeing insisted on cooking for her.

"Aunt Jo–how do you meet these guys?" you asked, wanting to know her secret. The new guy, Jin, was young, tall, handsome, and a chef in town with a hot new restaurant.

"Friend of a friend," she said with a cheeky smile. "He's cute, isn't he?"

You couldn't help but give him a once-over. Those shoulders were big enough to land a plane. You shielded your mouth with your hand, whispering, "Super cute."

"Okay, ladies. Are you ready to try my famous dish?" Jin asked, bringing over two plates with seared scallops on a bed of quinoa, apple salad, and butternut squash puree. You'd never had anything this fancy before.

"Thank you, baby," Aunt Jo flirted at the handsome man, reaching for a kiss, which he reciprocated.

A ding from your phone resounded through the kitchen. You eagerly reached for it but stopped yourself.

"You're not gonna see if it's your boyfriend?" Aunt Jo teased before taking a bite of her scallop. She groaned at the heavenly taste.

It was going to bug you if you didn't check. You grabbed your phone and nothing but a measly email. You're not sure why you were getting so worked up. You were the one that told Jungkook you only wanted to be friends, but here you were, glued to your phone in case he texted.

You sighed, trying to get a grip. You had integrity and dignity, and you weren't going to break down just because a boy hadn't texted you.

So, instead, you opened up your camera, taking a picture of this beautiful dinner. Then just as Aunt Jo had said, another ding indicating a picture message was sent to you.

Clicking on the bubble, it was a message from Jungkook.

Jungkook 7:36 PM This corn dog isn't as good as the one we had at the pier.

You 7:37 PM

Jungkook 7:38 PM Where's the rest of the entree?!

You 7:39 PM wdym?? 😂 That's it!

Jungkook 7:40 PM You should demand to get your money back. You were scammed.

You 7:41 PM This is fine dining! My aunt's boyfriend made this. He's a chef at a place called Trestle.

Jungkook 7:41 PM Fine dining, hmm? You like that stuff?

You 7:42 PM Idk. Never really cared for the finer things in life.

Jungkook 7:43 PM I'm offended! What about me?

You 7:43 PM 😂 Are you trying to get me to compliment you?

Jungkook 7:44 PM 😎

You 7:45 PM 😒 You're okay-looking. You should see my aunt's boyfriend. He's mighty fine.

"Earth to my favorite niece in the whole wide world! Remember to eat! You've been smiling ever since you picked up your phone."

"Have not!" you protested.

"My Jin can attest to that. Can't you?"

"Jojo is right. You've been smiling like a creepy doll and have yet to try my food, and that's an insult to me," Jin teased.

"Let me take a picture of you." Jin turned to you, giving you a smolder and pouty lips. "Thanks!" you said, returning to your phone.

"Wait–wait! Jinnie, take your shirt off!" Jo cried as Jin turned back around.

"Aunt Jo!"

"If you're going to make this boy jealous, might as well do it right." Your aunt gave her boyfriend a pouty face and he willingly did what she asked. He tugged his shirt off, telling you to get his best side, which apparently was his back side. And well, you couldn't disagree. Jungkook would definitely be jealous of Jin's worldwide shoulders.

You 7:50 PM

Jungkook 7:51 PM WHY ARE YOU SENDING ME NUDES OF OTHER MEN??

You 7:51 PM Blame my Aunt Jo. She suggested it. Anywho, time for dessert now. Byeee.

You have yet to hear back the rest of the night from Jungkook. It was good for you to be the first to end the conversation because, knowing you, you could text him all night, which would defeat the purpose of just being friends. You wanted to be cautious about becoming friends with him because it was all too easy to cross the line again.

~ Two months later ~

Texts with Jungkook were simple, a little flirty, but nothing more than that. He'd send you random pictures of things he was doing or food he'd be eating, and you did the same. Harmless and cute. Distance from him was a good thing, keeping you from getting in trouble.

Your goal this summer was to explore new things to do and see in San Francisco. Your Aunt and Jin helped by giving you a bucket list.

On today's list was Alcatraz. You weren't a fan of boats, but it was the only way to get onto the island. The nice thing was you had a friend to accompany you on this trip. Yoongi made a surprise visit, checking out a doctorate program in the area. He mentioned wanting to check it when he was your TA, so you thought it'd be fun to explore with him.

Jungkook 1:11 PM Made it to the gum wall.

You 1:20 PM 🤢 Don't get sick. Did you put one on there too?

Jungkook 1:21 PM 😎 Ofc I did. What's your view rn?

You 1:23 PM

Jungkook 1:24 PM Fun. You have a visitor today?

You 1:30 PM Yeah, he's checking out another school here.

Jungkook 1:31 PM Cool. Have fun!

"Who's that? Lover boy?" Yoongi teased.

You glared, tucking your phone away in your back pocket. "I don't have a lover boy," you huffed at him.

"What happened with you two, anyway?"

You shrugged, not really wanting to go into detail about your whole ordeal with Jungkook. What happened, happened and now the two of you were just friends.

"Well, whatever happened, just don't be so hard on yourself. You both probably screwed up, and neither of you is perfect, so learn from it and move on," Yoongi said casually, moving on with the rest of the tour group.

Shaking your head, you chuckled at his words. He was never a man of many words but you appreciate him for caring about you.

~ Three months later ~

You 10:27 AM

What's good here?

Jungkook 10:30 AM

What's good here? You're in Seattle? 🥲

You 10:32 AM YOU'RE IN SF?! 😩 This is like a missed connections ads lol

Jungkook 10:33 AM I guess this is what happens when all we do is send pictures, huh? 😅

You 10:34 AM Guess so lol

Jungkook 10:35 AM Have fun in Seattle.

You 10:36 AM Have fun in SF. I'll see you when we get back to school?

Jungkook 10:36 AM Definitely 💛

"What happened? You look sad," Aunt Jo mentioned when she saw the frown on your face.

"Oh, it's nothing," you stated with a wry smile, stuffing your phone in your bag. Today was not about you. It was about Jin.

"Were you expecting to see your boy while we were here?"

You rolled your eyes at her. No, you weren't expecting to see Jungkook because you assumed he'd be as busy as you were. Aunt Jo invited you to accompany her to Jin's new restaurant in Seattle, and you jumped at the chance. Okay, so you thought there was a chance you'd see Jungkook while in town. Unfortunately, luck was not on your side.

"I–no–I mean, maybe."

Aunt Jo stood before you, raising your chin and forcing you to look at her. "Sweetheart, it's okay to miss him or want to see him even though he hurt you. It's only natural, and you can't deny what your heart wants."

"Exactly–" Jin interrupted, "The heart wants what it wants," he said, kissing Aunt Jo's cheek from behind.

You debated if you should text him back, but what would it do? What would you even say? Hey, after thinking about it, I kind of wanna be more than friends? You were the one that initiated being friends again. What kind of person would you look like? Being super wishy-washy with your decisions. It was hard to keep your sense of worth when it came to Jeon Jungkook.

Throughout the rest of your trip to Seattle, you were good. You didn't text him besides when he would send you photos here and there of activities he was doing in San Francisco. You were proud of yourself for not giving in to your wants, and you stood your ground.

Returning to San Francisco felt bittersweet because you assumed Jungkook had already left. You didn't want to ask where he was going next for fear of sounding nosy or needy. You'll just have to guess. Maybe he was already back in SoCal.

"Knock, knock," Aunt Jo said, holding your door open. "I know we just got back, but Jin invited us to a special event at his restaurant tonight. So get your cute little butt showered and dressed up, 'kay?"

You chuckled, shaking your head. "Free food? I'm there."

Aunt Jo whistled when you walked down the stairs in your outfit. The only semi-nice thing you packed was a black slip dress. Then you threw on a black leather jacket.

"You couldn't have chosen better shoes?" Aunt Jo asked, gawking at your pair of black and white checkered Vans.

"What? I wanted to be cute and comfy," you said, pulling the strap of your bag over your head, letting it drape across your body.

When the two of you arrived at the restaurant, you expected it to be packed, but it was completely empty. You got out of the Uber and waited for your Aunt to get out of the Uber. You turned around only to see her smiling like a lunatic.

"Aren't you coming?"

Jin called your name and waved you over as he exited the restaurant. You cast a glance in his direction, curious as to what was going on with them tonight.

"It's just you, sweetheart, have fun tonight!"

"We forgot to mention it's a private event for you," Jin grinned, sending you a wink. He stepped into the Uber, and then they were off, leaving you utterly confused on the sidewalk.

A high-pitched ding from your phone went off. Opening your bag, you checked your phone to see a text from Aunt Jo.

Aunt Jo 6:22 PM

Gonna stay at Jin's tonight.

Please be responsible. Love you.

Her text was cryptic and vague, leaving you even more puzzled. You sighed as you turned to face the restaurant and walked to the door. When you first walked in, the atmosphere was quite cute and quaint. Many tables had been cleared away, leaving one in the middle of the restaurant. Someone was sitting with their back to you, and when they heard the door close, they turned to see you standing there.

"Jungkook?"

He got up from his seat and walked over to you. He was dressed in his favorite color, black. A black open button down, tucked into black joggers, black combat boots, and finished with a thick silver chain. The biggest bunny smile you'd ever seen on him adorned his pretty face.

"What are you doing here? How–how did you–"

"I might have done some digging, called around, and got ahold of your Aunt's boyfriend."

Your jaw opened and closed, amazed by how sneaky everyone was–including Aunt Jo and Jin. "So you planned all of this?"

Jungkook shrugged. "I had some help from your Aunt. She's a pretty cool person. Jin too." You couldn't stop smiling, and your cheeks were beginning to ache as a result. "Do you want something to eat? Because I'm hungry, and the food smelled delicious while I waited, "He smiled.

You nodded in response to his question. He extended his hand, and you accepted it without hesitation. When your hand found his big warm ones again, your heart raced at a million beats per minute. He escorted you to the seat across from him, pulling out the chair and pushing it in while you sat.

You felt so flustered and scatterbrained you didn't even hear when Jungkook called your name. "Hmm?"

Jungkook chuckled. "How was Seattle? Did you like it?"

"I liked it a lot. It reminded me a lot of San Francisco. Minus the gloom," you giggled. You mentally kicked yourself when you realized you had just giggled in front of Jungkook. It was too hard not to get all excited over this. So you took a deep breath to ground yourself and remember that he is just a boy–a friend–nothing more.

A server greeted both of you, handing you the menu. Everything sounded so fancy, and for half of the items, you needed clarification on what they were. Nevertheless, it was free, so you'd try anything.

After placing your orders with the server, the pair of you couldn't stop smiling at each other like young teenagers in love. It was pretty nauseating if someone were watching the two of you.

"Ahem… you're growing out your hair," you said, finally breaking the weird smiling contest between you.

Jungkook touched the hair resting on the nape of his neck. "Yeah, I thought I'd try it and never had it this long before."

"I like it."

Your compliment made him look away, a sheepish smile plastered on his face, showing off his dimple.

The rest of dinner continued. You both groaned at how delicious everything tasted. It's no surprise that people enjoyed fine dining, but you didn't enjoy the cost. But one rule Jin lived by was that he would not charge people an arm and a leg just to eat good food. He thought it was ridiculous and vowed never to do it again when he owned his own restaurant. And you thought it was very honorable.

As the last course came out, you ordered the coconut custard while Jungkook got the chocolate cake, one of each, so you could enjoy the desserts instead of picking one.

"How is it?" Jungkook asked when you took a bite.

"It's good," you swallowed, "but it might be too coco-nutty for me."

Jungkook set his fork down after taking a bite of his cake. He pushed the small plate toward you. "Here, take mine. I'll eat it if you don't like it."

"Jungkook, we're supposed to share! I can't let you do that."

"It's fine! I don't mind, honestly!" He pushed the cake further to you while taking the custard away from you. You felt he wouldn't give up, so you let him have it.

After dinner, Jungkook insisted on taking an Uber with you to make sure you got back to your Aunt's okay, and then he'd take off to his hotel for the night. As the car arrived at Aunt Jo's, Jungkook followed after, walking you to the door.

You turned to Jungkook. "Thanks for dinner. It was a lot of fun."

Jungkook rubbed the back of his neck. "I didn't do much. It's all thanks to your Aunt and Jin for helping me set everything up."

"Yeah, I know, but you put a lot of thought into it too, and I really appreciate that."

He nervously toyed with his lip ring, letting it flip back and forth. "Um, well, I guess I should say goodnight, and I'll see you when we get back to school?"

Your eyes flickered to his. "Do you want to come in? My Aunt's gone for the night."

"Are...you sure?" Jungkook stammered.

"Yeah, we can watch a movie or talk."

"Uh, okay. Let me tell the driver. Be right back."

The time was almost nine, so you opted for a nightcap. You grabbed a bottle of wine from Aunt Jo's cupboard and two glasses, setting it down on the coffee table before pouring one for you and Jungkook.

Jungkook quickly finished his glass which made you chuckle. Was he nervous? You didn't take him that type of guy.

"Why did you come to San Francisco?" you asked after taking a sip of your wine.

He chuckled. "Is it not obvious?"

You could take a stab at why he was doing this, but you needed him to say what he wanted.

"I'm shooting my shot," he said casually.

Trying to hold in a grin, you stopped it by devouring the rest of your wine glass.

Jungkook turned his full attention to you. "I couldn't stop thinking about you all summer–what you were doing if you were happy or sad, lonely. I wanted to call so many times, but I didn't know if I could. That's why I only sent texts since they were less intimidating."

"You could've called. I would've picked up."

"I know, but I didn't want to mess up being your friend 'cause I'm not good at this stuff, and I've never just been friends with a girl or even known how to date. But all I do know is you make me want to learn how to do all that stuff."

"To learn how to date or be my friend?

A beat passed before Jungkook answered, "Both, I guess? I just want to get to know you, so I wanna do whatever you wanna do. But that's if you want to..." he trailed off.

The buzz from the wine began warming up your cheeks, and the invisible walls you had up were starting to crumble. Jungkook's rosy lips looked too luscious not to want to try again. "I...really, really want to kiss you."

Jungkook gulped, unsure of what to do next. He didn't want to screw this up, but he also didn't want to pass up an opportunity to kiss you. His gaze shifted from your eyes to your cute nose, then to your lips. He lingered on your lips, trying to recall how they tasted. But it'd been far too long since he'd kissed you.

"I want to kiss you too, but I don't want you to regret it afterward."

You shook your head. "I won't." You shifted closer to Jungkook on the couch, your knee brushing up against his as you leaned in, waiting for him to do the same.

Jungkook brought his hand to cup your cheek, gazing into your eyes, wanting to confirm if this was really what you wanted. "Are you sure?"

"Positive," you said as you closed the gap and pressed your lips against his. His other hand cupped the opposite side of your face, drawing you closer to him. Your lips continued to explore each other softly and slowly as if time had stopped to allow you to discover what you had been missing.

You withdrew, only to find yourself straddling him. Jungkook's eyes widened as he realized the new position. However, he didn't mind it one bit. When his hands fell to grip your waist, urging you closer to him, your entire body buzzed. It didn't take long for Jungkook to become aroused by this heated make-out session, his cock twitching in his strained pants. You tangled your fingers in his hair, causing him to groan in your mouth while you smiled into his. Then your hand reached for the thick silver chain around his neck, gently pulling him as close as you could.

When he pulled away, you let out a quiet whimper. His lips began to trail wet kisses down your jawline, leaving soft purple bruises on your neck. His hands dragged up to your shoulders, where your dress's delicate straps lay. His fingers tinkered with them, debating whether to slide them down, so you decided for him. Your hand reached out to take the straps off, but Jungkook stopped you.

"Sorry, I'm sorry," Jungkook said breathily, nuzzling into the crook of your neck.

"No...No, you're good. I'm sorry. I got a little carried away."

Jungkook leaned against the couch, shifting himself from beneath, hoping to adjust the erection straining in his pants. "As I said, I'm fine with taking things slowly, I'm not in a hurry, and I'll wait as long as it takes if it means I get you in the end."

It took everything in you not to want to rip off your clothes and his right at this moment. But he was right because you didn't want to fuck this up, either.

"You just know the right things to say, huh?"

Jungkook laughed and nodded. He leaned forward, asking for a kiss. "It's getting late, and I still need to pack for my flight tomorrow."

You slid yourself off of him to a standing position, adjusting the strap, just begging to fall. "Let me get an Uber for you."

The following day, Aunt Jo knocked on your door, asking if you were decent enough for her to come in. She covered her eyes as the door opened. "We good in here? No cute, naked boy in your bed?"

You laughed. "No, Aunt Jo. No naked boy in here."

"Darn," she teased, handing you a cup of coffee. "I'm surprised he didn't stay over."

To be honest, it would have been far too easy for you and Jungkook to fuck without first properly establishing what you two were. Again, you tried hard not to rush into things with him, but it was difficult not to.

"He was the one who stopped it from going any further, actually," you commented.

Aunt Jo took a sip of her coffee, nodding slowly, surprised at your words. "Interesting."

"Yeah...interesting."

"Well, at least you know he's trying to do things the right way this time, so that's gotta count for something?"

She was right. You'd wanted and hoped to do this thing with Jungkook correctly. Let's not fuck it up this time.

Over the last couple weeks of summer break, you and Jungkook constantly texted, called, and video-chatted. You couldn't wait to get back on campus to see him again.

As you settled into your new apartment with Lyla, the boxes in your new room were piled high. You reached for a box on your tiptoes when you felt two hands snake around your waist and a kiss press against your shoulder. When you looked over, you saw a happy Jungkook wrapping his arms around you.

"Hi," he whispered into your ear before kissing your neck.

You mumbled a 'hi' before squirming away from his embrace, proceeding to finish your task before he rudely interrupted. Your hand reached into the box, holding onto the fairy lights you loved so much.

Jungkook sat on your bed, watching as you strung lights up on your wall. You crept on the bed, attempting to string the lights behind Jungkook, but he refused to move, so you crawled over him. When he suddenly leaned backward, pulling you on top of him, you yelped.

"Jungkook!" you cried, playfully hitting his chest, trying to break away from his hold, but he drew you back toward him for a kiss.

"One," Jungkook whispered, connecting his mouth to yours again. "Two."

"Why are you counting?"

He grinned from ear to ear. "Cause I owe you 100 kisses, remember?"

You rolled your eyes. "Forgot about that, and I paid good money for that, too," you laughed.

"Mm…I didn't," Jungkook pressed another kiss on your lips. "Three." He placed another on your jaw, causing your skin to burn hot underneath his lips. "Four."

"Jungkook," you whined, "I have so much to unpack."

"I'll help you later, but right now. I just wanna kiss you for a while."

You groaned. "Fine."

Although your and Jungkook's relationship began in an unusual manner and had its share of ups and downs. You wouldn't have made the mistake of foolishly falling for someone other than him.

[reallifetangent]

Just saw someone on TikTok saying the "You could live a thousand lives and never deserve that boy" saying that Cat King, Monty and Charles don't deserve Edwin and I've never seen so much bullshit in my life (as far as I can remember)

How come you throw down 3 character arcs and ignoring at least Charles' temper and context to put above on a pillar one character who has bad things as well.

Post was in Spanish, I'm translating what it said with the colors.

Sorry for the random rambling/texts, I had to get it out of my system and sorry if I had wrong stuff

Obviously spoilers about the whole series

Cat King: he started wrong and pressured Edwin on things he didn't know

There's an analysis post here that explains why the punishment made sense. Edwin was warned of not messing around with the cats. Cat King of course had moments where he made Edwin obvious and clearly uncomfortable, and either stopped there or stepped back. Even between all his flirty aura and wanting to play and be loved by this Twink Ghost, he still respected Edwin and was pretty much consensual (the bracelet not because again, it's just the punishment because of what Edwin did to the cats), like proposing counting cats instead of pleasing him physically as soon as he realized Edwin wasn't in that lane.

By the end of the season, he's the one that changes the less respecting from where they started (I think). He's still a flirty, charming, iconic, still respecting and asking for the hug, this time only calling him from the distance because he knows the context, they're mourning Niko, he can't be that flirty or attention seeker, he knows how much she meant for Ed. The flowers scene where it's both flowers for him but also for her (the flower's meanings about rebirth, purity, innocence. I think it's how Niko was for this world, but also huge kudos to this Reddit when I was looking for the flower scene)

Monty: tricked Edwin so the witch could have her revenge.

Monty is a Crow Familiar. He ofc owes loyalty to his witch. He was turned into a human with the condition of helping his master. And he catches feelings. He's been a human since what? Less than a week? He gets hooked by Edwin. He loves Edwin. When they kiss and Edwin says he doesn't love him back, he's hurt. And he's Esther's familiar. What did she do once she didn't get what she wanted? Plan on revenge. He's still hurt, he thinks Edwin didn't care about his feelings. He even said they shouldn't be friends anymore.

Damn, he even went along deeper even thinking that they wouldn't get the case since they were Ace Detectives, until he heard that the fungus ate ghosts/spectrals so this wasn't an easy revenge. He tried to lead them/him away from it. Then Cat King interrupted and well, shit went down. More hurt feelings, more disgraces. He gets back to Esther who dislikes that her dear crow familiar was on the side of Edwin and caught feelings. He didn't want to feel like that, he didn't ask to be hurt, didn't want to be human and have feelings. Ofc he couldn't be with Edwin as long as Esther is his witch, she still has control over him. And yet he tried to go against her orders. He even helped Charles getting away on last ep.

Charles: said cruel words, wishing he never died and throwing in his face that Ed would never be able to keep the group together because he can't and he lacks Char's charisma.

Charles was fresh from living on a loop that caught him because his reaction to trauma was too strong. He had to live(?) and watch over and over again a family suffering for the exact same thing that reminded him his living life. Even worse, he had to experience on bucle him trying to stop it just to be interrupted and made him watch it until the father was done, looking at the corpses and then the gunshot. Tell me about feeling helpless and useless when you are stuck on a loop where your attempt of trying to help it's not working and you are seeing it over and over again. Ofc he was more than upset for not being able to help, to stop Crystal from getting hurt, from Edwin lying to him because Ed was troubled in his mind, and Night Nurse reminding him the physical violence he lived, how he died.

Charles and Edwin died at 16. Sixteen. How many things they could've experienced but never happened? They'll never get to grow up. He died and he never had a chance to stand up against his dad and protect his mom. He lost the chance to keep the bullies away from others. He lost all the sensations, he lost most of his senses. Not being able to enjoy things because he can't feel them. He misses spaghetti, he said he might miss kissing (he and Crystal kissed, he said he didn't feel anything but well, as long as she does, he's okay with it). He misses being able to have people his age to hang around. And everything was taken away from him.

Ofc he tries to be positive about it, he tries to be useful to make up for not helping when he was alive. He didn't want to be like Brad and Hunter, but he wanted to be that cool guy loved by everyone and was an actual good person. You can't hold on a smile for too long without it turning into a fake one after having all of that. All those years he shoved away the familiar violence, until he had to live it again, two times, and see that he couldn't stop it. He's hurt by everyone (Edwin lying to him, the whole Crystal's case still unsolved, etc), and he reached the limit. Are you telling me he would just smile again and pretend it was nothing? He'd been doing that for so long, and now he was unable to hide it again.

And last but not least, Edwin.

Edwin Payne, sassy Edwardian Era Teenager who has an ego so big you can see it from space, plays hard to get on the cases, thinks he's better/smarter than anyone (one thing is being it, other is claiming it), thinking everyone is on his same level or page (the whole Does that look blue to you? We have the same left! Implying that what he says and knows are too obvious that forgets not everyone thinks like him. I relate to that soooo bad) Shoved away more than once Crystal, has more salt than the Dead Sea, calls out more than once Charles for trying to keep Crystal around, when Jenny was calling Crystal out for running or whatever he was shocked that Crystal wasn't paying attention to him like how dares she ignore me. And don't get me started with invalidating everyone's feelings when they said they were hurt or living a nightmare... We got it. Hell was a literal hell. But you're dealing right now with a girl who's around 16-18 and you're trying to solve her case, not a competition about "Who suffered the most".

Ofc at the end of the season he's finally fond of Crystal, he was finally accepting her as part of the team even without her powers, he's now able to express better his feelings, better at setting and saying things and stop assuming everyone is on his same level, he starts caring about people like Monty (even after breaking his crow heart, he apologizes and tries to explain that he was new to that as well and things could've been with them staying as friends until Cat King made his entrance and the reveal, Cat King with the whole Cat Mouse Game he was able to again, start accepting he has feelings and being the way they are is not bad, able to set boundaries, even allow himself to play silly things like actually counting the cats.

Edwin had to go through a lot of things to be able to actually be open and grow as a character. I feel everyone likes Edwin at the end of the season or praise his Salty Sassy Edwardian Teenager phase, and it's not bad, but please do not throw down other characters to get him higher. Or at least, don't throw them down like that. Do not treat him like it's flawless, just because you like his flaws.

I mean, I feel like I'm not writing nothing we haven't seen, like stating the obvious. Maybe a rewatch to see better the character arcs?

[ilovejoll]

Oh no Kenzie is spewing his thoughts.....

Y'know, I never really understood the hate towards player/SOUL in delta rune. They didn't ask to be attached to Kris. Hell, they didn't even really have a say on who they wanted to be attached to as their vessel was tossed into the void.

Kris probably doesn't even hate the player as much as the fandom portrays them to. They probably don't like being controlled, yes, but if that was truly the case, then why does Kris always put SOUL back after tearing them out?

If Kris has such an ability to where they can remove SOUL and move freely without input, why put them back after doing what they wanted for a brief moment of time? It just doesn't make sense to me, it feels like Kris just wants a moment of being out of SOUL's input. and it makes me think Kris and SOUL have a more...venom relationship than anything else. (Kind of,,,)

Why would Kris make a dark fountain in there house if they didn't want SOUL to control them? Clearly, they don't mind to some degree, cuz their life has been so much more exciting ever since SOUL appeared. SOUL even made them friends, which Kris is probably grateful for. Cuz it's clear that Kris is seen as the weird kid due to them being the only human in a town filled with monsters, SOUL made them make friends with a monster they were afraid of (Susie) and even made them a hero in some way (in the darkworld at least.) They are no longer a 'nobody' because of SOUL.

Kris only REALLY becomes the victim in the snowgrave route. There, SOUL is making them do things they don't want to do. Such as killing enemy's, harming Noelle mentally and even physically, and worst of all, literally MURDERING Berdly; who is indeed one of their friends despite their ongoing rivalry. This is where the player hate is justified, they're torturing other characters through their host, Kris, just to see what would happen. That's where you could view the player as evil as they are intentionally making Kris' friends suffer, along with Kris themself. This is where I can see Kris not liking, or even downright hating the player, and wanting to be out of their control permanently.

But it any other route, like the pacifist or normal route, I just don't think it makes sense for Kris to hate SOUL/player. Kris isn't a victim in those routes, they're just the host, the puppet they obviously don't mind being (and, I know after the spamton neo fight, Kris gets uneasy and scared about being a puppet for player, and while yes, their fear is rightly justified considering what happened to spamton. I just don't see them taking it into too much consideration after being comforted by Susie and Ralsei, especially if the player had been peaceful and nonviolent thus far.)

Most others say that player makes Kris do things they don't want to. Which is...just...not true. In snowgrave, yes, player makes Kris do things they do not want to do, but in a normal or pacifist route that is just not true. I'm going to take hugging Ralsei for example. It's implied that the choices given to the player are options that Kris would most likely do or say anyway, but it's player who makes the final decision for them. So, Kris WOULD hug Ralsei, or do any of the things given in the tunnel of love scenes, but player is the one who decides which actions are final, but all the actions and words are implied to be what Kris would do or say anyway without players direct input. Does that....make sense? I feel like I'm overexplaining but I really want to get my point across.

I'm gonna stop here, cuz I don't want to continue rambling or want this post to get too long. But in short, Kris is not the victim, they only become one in snowgrave. They probably don't even want player to leave now since they think they'll become a 'nobody' again without their input. player isn't making Kris do anything they don't want to (Unless, it's snowgrave, as I said many times now lol.) Kris and player probably don't have the BEST relationship, obvs, but they definitely don't hate each other or want the other gone.

But, that's just my thoughts, tell me what you think, if you made it thus far that is ^w^

[bladesmitten]

(anon feral about Wyll transformation scene again) Do you think he has nightmares after that? dreams where he's human and then wakes up a devil and has to readjust all over again? nightmares where the transformation is worse, more drastic, more monstrous? nightmares where it happens again? where the devilish nature makes him do, or want to do, something monstrous?

when he wakes up from one of those do the changes hurt, or seem to hurt, again? does he go to anyone for comfort or try to soldier on? does he yearn for how he looked and felt before, even while he does his best to accept the changes and move forward? does Karlach notice him having a hard time and go try to comfort him somehow, because she knows that was all because he wanted her to live?

Karlach's engine was put in there against her will, Astarion got vampire'd against his will, do those two ever talk to Wyll about it from the angle of someone who's gone through something not the same but comparable? do they want to help get him away from Mizora before she can do anything worse to him, both knowing that it never stops at just the transformation, not wanting to find out what she would do to him next? (Karlach knows from an angle of having been used after the 'upgrade' as a devil's warrior and attack dog, Astarion knows from an angle of having been used as a vampire's tool and plaything, and from what they see of how Mizora treats Wyll she very well might do any/all of that or find some new other terrible thing to do)

when he realizes they have overlapping traumas like that do you think he seeks them out for help or comfort, or to try to help/comfort them because he's like that? do you think even the companions who don't 100% get the specific "somebody painfully physically transformed you against your will for their own gains" trauma notice him sleeping fitfully sometimes and recognize the same kind of pain in his voice that they heard that night when he was transformed and they just know what that nightmare was about?

it's late and I'm rambling but YOU KNOW???? WYLL...

(I haven't even made it through act 2 yet and I'm already like this about him)

considering wyll still has nightmares of him being exiled 7 years ago? he definitely gets nightmares about this one too. the readjustment period is another thing altogether - his skull is heavier, he has to rebalance his center of gravity to stand up straight, and everything else in between. it's a lot to handle, both in reality and in his sleep.

(also thinking about the last time something drastic physically happened to him is when he lost his eye 🥲 and now here he is again trying to readjust his life)

this is headcanon territory but - that man is a Sulker... whenever he thinks he's alone he just kinda mopes about it all. but it's also sooo obvious that he's not okay and that he's just putting up a front.

karlach definitely does everything she can to cheer him up. whether that be cracking the shittiest jokes (that wyll laughs at so earnestly) or playfighting with him. astarion does it in his own prickly way, like a cat pretending not to be endeared by wyll - offering to bite him to give him a good night's nightmare-less rest. gale cooks wyll's favourite dish as a morale boost - even though fresh ingredients are hard to come by. lae'zel offers to spar with wyll to take his mind off things, or just telling him how great a warrior he is and how she'd love to [redacted] his [redacted] (LMAO). shadowheart would tease wyll about his affinity for trashy romance novels, giving him a backhanded compliment on how hot he looks with his horns, and that his new look would fit in the cover of a trashy romance novel (that she'd totally read and enjoy).

whenever mizora appears in camp, everyone just forms a wall between wyll and mizora like a phalanx. wyll protection sequence activate.

i also like to think wyll recognizes that he's no longer alone in his suffering. he's not as isolated as he once was! that's why he's so eager to make friends, why he gives approval on every question you ask him. he's grateful to have these people who care for him, especially his bestie karlach who'd give her life for him and vice versa 🥺

(get yourself ready when you get to act 3... honey youve got a big storm coming.gif)

[begitalarcos]

Hey Guys

Wow it's been quite some time. In regards to my last life post (that I don't remember making) but did happen and was very difficult to deal with all the fall out for like... more than a month after.

I'm sorry I left you all with that and then just disappeared again. Things have been weird the last couple months... to put it in simple words... shit sucks

The falling out with my daughter caused a huge rift between several people who (were not involved but still had a very loud opinion about things) and quite a few uncomfortable conversations.

I unfortunately started drinking as a way to deal with not dealing with things (I'm good now but I had about 3 weeks of just being smashed on the regular) and during that time I suffered an awful fall which resulted in me slipping a disc in my back. Possibly 2 of them but I've had such a hard time dealing with doctors lately that no one in the medical field has been particularly helpful. So I've been living off a cocktail of painkillers for almost 2 months now (which I hate), I was going to physio but then my insurance decided not to cover my sessions until I could PROVE I was actually hurt.

Tomorrow I go for an assessment with a new doctor to try and get my insurance to cover treatment again, my MRI isn't even until August of next f*cking year. -_-

Our healthcare system is an absolute joke right now.

On top of being in CONSTANT pain (not being able to sit or lie down for very long either cuz I lose feeling in my legs) my daughters disability/mental health program has decided to just... not help anymore until she gets a new assessment. Even though its been almost 3 years and she's still on a waiting list for an adult psychiatrist.

So the last week or so now everyone is coming back to me to try and fix/smooth things out again (after I was basically pushed out of her life because I was "making shit up" and "didn't actually care" and apparently was just being a control freak) and no one has apologized for the way they treated me or forced me out of helping my own kid. Nope. They just expect that now that she has no financial coverage that I should be the one to speak for her again cause they have no idea what to do. -_-

My husband has been solid thankfully, even though his relationship with Sassy has suffered so much because of the people around her who have influenced her... not always for the better. But I at least have maintained a sense of control in a way that's worked for me.

I told everyone who has given me grief for the past couple years about Sassy (including Sassy) that if I am going to advocate for her and get this stuff sorted out that I'm doing it my way, and if I get any push back or flack from anyone - then I'm done. They can figure it out themselves and I wash my hands of it all.

My husband thinks I shouldn't have gotten involved again at all, but I know (and I knew things were gonna blow up eventually) if I don't fix this... its gonna become my problem again anyways.

This past month or so I've had some really good breakthroughs with my therapist about my toxic coping skills, people pleasing and lack of boundaries with family members.

I feel better about things though than I ever have and now that I am standing firm with my boundaries and my convictions its been much easier for me to deal with any gaslighting or potential drama that people have tried to start up with me.

I know this got super long winded and I didn't intend for it to be as rambling and trauma dumpy as it was but - it is good to get things out and clear the air. As I feel like I sort of left an air of weirdness here for quite sometime.

Working on getting back to the things that I enjoy and stop becoming immersed in other peoples drama and things that I can't change.

I've missed you guys and crikey has Tumblr changed since I've been away. But I'm hopeful and I look forward to getting back into fandoms and gif sets and all those things I loved so much again <3

much love to you all

B

[anuncalledbridge]

Summary: you didn't expect you'd be pulled into a verse where there is no Avenger, no Peter, and no Ned.

Pairing: Miles Morales x (half filo) Stark!reader

Warning: cursing in Tagalog, xreader, black hole

Author's note: I love the idea of the reader being Filipino sooo, I just felt like making her a Stark because Tony bangs everyone he wants and also this is gonna be a series.

Part two

You and Ned walked together while Peter walk ahead the both of you. Peter was rambling something about the star wars lore and sometimes inserted MJ throughout his rambling. You didn't listen, you were looking above the clouds, however, Ned listened intensely.

Peter abruptly stopped, making you and Ned bummed into his back "What the hell dude-" your eyes landed on MJ in front of Peter, which made you smirk as you avert your eyes at Ned.

"You know what I'm thinking?"

Ned looked skeptical for a moment "Uhh, you're about to steal Mr. Starks credit card and then you'll buy me a whole set of lego?" You stifle a laugh "No, idiot but yes I'll think about that" Ned made a fist bump in the air followed by a loud whisper of yes.

You cleared your throat loudly, catching Mj's attention "Peter! Weren't you talking about how gorgeous, magnificent, creative, and may I add, Beautiful, M-" You were cut off when Peter jab you on the side making you curl up into a ball.

"Shut up!" He whispered in a panicked tone. "Ned help me.." you said in a dramatic strained way while Peter strangled you like there is no tomorrow.

Mj who was on her way to work, contemplated whether to just walk straight away and pretend nothing happened or to help her suffocating friend. She chose the latter.

"Peter, I would much appreciate it if you let go of the dog you're choking" Peter immediately let go of you, and you made another loud exaggerated gasp, which Ned found Funny because it sounds like Peter when he found out you were Tony Starks daughter.

"Potangina-"(son of a bitch) Peter nudge you again this time gently, you glared at him and then looked at Mj with a huge grin "Hey there, babygurl!" Mj sigh at the nickname but said nothing about it.

You put both of your hands on Peter's shoulder pushing him towards Mj until there is little to no space "Pete here, wanted to accompany you to your, humble work thing, Right Peter?" Before Peter gets to protest Mj interjected.

"Yeah sure, how bout you and Ned?"

"Oh, we're just about..to..." You looked around for an excuse "We're helping Ned's Lola! Right, Ned?"

"We are?" You nudge him on his arm making him hiss "Play along" you whispered yell "O-oh yes actually! Her back is hurting lately s-so.." without a word you grabbed Ned's arms and sprung away.

You cheekily did a fistbump together "I'm so getting you that Lego set" you laughed while Ned gushed like a teenager in love.

You felt your phone buzz in your pocket so you check who it was, it was your dad calling. You groaned in annoyance, halting on your steps as Ned did the same waiting for you.

"What does he want now.." you muttered before answering "Hello Pa?" You heard your dad hum "You don't sound so happy hearing your dad, sweetpie"

You rolled your eyes "What do you want, Dad?" Tony once again hummed "No 'I love you Dad' first?"

"Dad-"

"say it."

You whined, you covered your phone, and looked at Ned "Ned go wait for me at the store-" You were cut off by your dad's piercing voice. "No, let Ned hear it"

"I'll just go.." Ned tried to interject "stay." Your dad once again said. Ned went still like a brick.

"Fine....I love you, Dad...ano? masaya kana?" (what? Are you happy now?) Ned quietly but failed, laughed at your suffering you gave him a hard glare. "Very much, dear" your dad chuckled in satisfaction.

"What is it that you want, anyways?" You impatiently asked, "Calm down, the wizard man needs help, I'm too lazy, so go and help him for me, alright dear?" He said over the phone, you grumbled "But dad, I have things to do-"

Your dad hummed seemingly not caring "Uh-huh, and I don't care. Now go, love you sweetchecks bye" he ended the call before you even got the chance to reply.

"So you need to be elsewhere?" Ned asked, as both of you continued walking "I'm so sorry Ned" you apologize sincerely. You felt guilty, Ned and you had been friends for a long time, he's the only one who understood you when you moved to New York, since him being Filipino and you being half, he could relate to a certain extent.

It's not like you couldn't speak English, you were quite decent and it improved throughout the year, and you didn't fit in so when Peter and Ned came into the picture, you felt at ease they felt like home.

"It's alright, but the next weekend, y/n. You can't miss it" he seriously said. You laughed "Of course Ned, I wouldn't miss it for the world" You bid your farewells, you took the train which was quite ironic when you can technically just swing from building to building.

__

"Hey, there wizard queen" Stephen sigh knowing who that annoying voice belongs to "Your dad sent you instead of him, classic." His monotone voice echoed through each corner of the room which always amused you because everywhere this man goes, there is always an echo. As you inch your way towards him he stopped you.

"What?" You looked at him weirdly "There's this thing bugging the quantum realm, I think someone interfering with it." You raised a brow "How is that possible, Mr. Ozzie?" The nicknames always tick him off every time you say it.

"The nickname you're giving doesn't even make sense" he quizzically said.

"Yes, it does" you defended your stan. He looked at you expectedly, waiting for an answer "It's the Wizard of Oz"

It was quiet for a moment.

"you know what? I'm not gonna argue with your stupid nicknames, stop it with this wizard shit. I'm a sorcerer, there's a deference" You were about to argue but he sounds agitated "Besides, we got some serious pressing matter..." He trailed off, focusing on a book that just automatically flips on its own. It always amazes you how magic could work.

"What is wrong, exactly?" You finally asked. "Someone is trying to make some sort of passage through every multiverse, and it's not just a normal passage, it's a black hole and if created it can potentially-"

"Collapse the space-time continuum.." you pieced out everything, while looking around, not meeting Stephen's eyes. You didn't know what to feel at that moment. Nothing felt right since you woke this morning, maybe that was the reason why.

"We need Dad for this" You picked up your phone from your pocket and dialed your dad's number, it was ringing when suddenly you felt the ground shaking.

"Mr. Strange, what's going on?" Your looked at him wide-eyed, while he tried to do some kind of spell to stop the shaking but it didn't.

You heard your dad's voice on the phone, making you snap out of your focused state "Can't talk right now, sweetheart. I'm currently at the.." your dad's voice became muffled as your eyes landed on a black spot that was currently forming on the ceiling and it was glitching.

Stephen tried to conceal it but to no avail, it only sucked his magic in "Y/n! Get away from here!" He shouted across the room.

"But what about you!?"

"It's not trying to get me, it's trying to get you!" He shouted but this time it was much louder, Tony heard this "Sweetheart what's going on?" He asked worriedly, he could hear the wind blowing loudly on the phone so everything was just muffled.

"dad...I think this is the last time I'm ever gonna be able to talk to you" you finally said after a few beats of silence. Stephen desperately tried to conceal the portal as best as he could to give you the time to run, but even if you could run, it will still suck you up nonetheless.

"What are you talking about?" Tony's voice grew shaky, as he started to put on his suit. "Dad, what I'm seeing right now is stranger than Dr. Strange's name" you chuckled.

Tony paid no mind to his daughter's questionable humor and started to flee from whatever meeting he was in.

"I love you, Dad." He heard Stephen scream your name and then the line ended. Tony's breathing stopped he was utterly blank, if his suit wasn't in control he would have crashed right there and then.

You felt like you'd been tossed around like a ragged doll, with all the blinding colors coming your way. Your stomach churned feeling all your food coming back to your throat.

You screamed for what felt like ages; using your weebs to shoot everywhere, trying to find a wall or anything to stick your weebs with, but found absolutely nothing.

Suddenly you hit the ground rather harshly. You groaned, looking up, the city's blinding lights disturbed your peripheral vision. You had a gut-splitting headache making you wince when you sat up immediately.

"Anak ng- where am I?" (son of a-) You looked around once you adjusted to the familiar yet unfamiliar city. This was New York but not your New York.

You started to panic and started to rephrase the previous events "o-okay, so I got sucked into a black hole- wait aren't I supposed to be dead?" You asked yourself, and then you groaned in embarrassment "I said 'I love you' to Dad, thinking I'm gonna be pulled to shred, god this is so embarrassing!"

"Manhattan! I need to go to Manhattan...maybe the Avenger's Tower is still there." Judging by the place it looked like Brooklyn, you prayed to god that the tower is still there, that your dad is waiting for you to come home.

Before you even got time to swing another portal opened at the other building making you squint your eyes. You saw a silhouette drop gracefully making you feel stupid from earlier.

You swing to that said building but as you came nearer you felt your spidey senses act up. You halted as the person in front of you looked wide-eyed in your direction.

"Who are you?" Her voice was above a whisper, you scrunch your nose.

"what? Speak up, babe"

"I said, who are you?" Her voice became louder, and she sat up from her previous awesome posture and started walking towards you "I'm Gwen Stacy" she said.

"Oh, Y/n Stark" Gwen had her mask on while you didn't "So you're spider woman? I thought I was the only one"

"Me neither" she replied with an airy sigh, looking around her with a sense of familiarity "This is not New York" She looked at you for answers but you were just as confused as she is.

"It is, but different from where you came from" it was silence for a while "What do we do?" She asked.

"We get married and just live here" you proposed as a growing smirk started to form on your lips.

"Give me a better option" she replied almost immediately. You gaped at her "anyone would be so lucky to marry me"

"Unlucky" she corrected "but you barely know me! How could you know" you argued back. "exactly."

She got you with that one. The pair of you started to swing building to building "Where are we-" you dodge a pose "going?" Gwen sighed, she seemed distant but that didn't stop you "I'm going to this academy thing, because that's what my spidey senses want" she shouted through the air so you could hear.

"Your tingly thing? I had one too!" Gwen raised a brow, not replying to the comment as she continued to swing every building.

"You know it's dangerous going around, not wearing a mask, you know that right?" Gwen did a flip through mid-air making you do the same cause you built like that.

"Who needs em? When they got me as their gorgeous sight!" the pair of you continued along your journey to find this so-called academy, although you don't know how both of you can enter but you just left that problem to Gwen.

___

😨

[velvetvexations]

Thank you for allowing me to ramble, and my apologies for the length. You are free to delete this ask for any reason whatsoever, because it's essentially venting. I'm also going to stop bothering you after this because I imagine these long messages get tiresome.

Part of my strong emotions about this is personal investment. One of my dearest friends is a trans woman, a friendship that has lasted over 8 years by this point.

It's been several years since she realised she was a woman, and we accepted her as such, but at the time the group suddenly went from 9 men in their early twenties, to 8 men (7 of which are cis) and a trans woman. We were fucking AWFUL for doing casually/'sarcastic' misogyny jokes around her at the beginning.

But this thing happened where she started telling us how long these jokes had bothered her, that the jokes didn't feel sarcastic or ironic, but degrading, belittling, and threatening. Very quickly, the jokes stopped being funny. The jokes started feeling like we were cruel, or like deliberate attempts to hurt her or put her in her place. The laughter became halting and awkward, or came from one person who was met with silence. The guys, me included, started getting angry at each other when someone made a misogynistic joke, and publicly admonishing each other. She noticed the change, she noticed that we were trying, she noticed that her friendship and happiness was more important, more valuable, than being able to say a stupid fucking joke that hurt her.

Because a trans woman trusted us to treat her like an equal, because a trans woman knew she deserved respect, because a trans woman felt safe enough to tell everyone when we were awful to her, these jokes were eradicated. Whenever these types of jokes crop up, we STILL stamp it out AS it's happening. It's not tolerated.

There's these questions I ask myself when I look at the current discourse. Questions that fucking terrify me. Would she still have told us we were being shitty to her if she thought women were 'supposed' to suffer and be victims? Would she have thought degrading remarks or jokes was some indication that she was being treated like a 'real' woman? Would she have thought she 'deserved' it because she is a woman? Would she have just taken it, eventually cracked, and left? Would she still be alive if she did leave?

The point here is... I adore her. She's one of the best friends I've ever had. It shouldn't have been her responsibility to tell us we were being assholes, but we wouldn't have known if she didn't. It was our responsibility to listen and do better. We did. We still do. I'm grateful she didn't resign herself to the idea that being a woman equaled accepting being treated badly.

The discourse response would have been to immediately cut you off and never interact with any of you again even before you made the jokes simply because you were men and couldn't be expected to behave any better.

I appreciate you sharing your thoughts with me. Please feel free anytime you wish.