#i'm gonna ✨explode✨

[paskariu]

Why is hot water bottle perfect for soothing from bad thoughts(TM) but also it's currently 27°C in my room

Do you see the kind of stress I'm under

Why is the world so cruel

[f1xmeinfortyfive]

BOB DYLAN'S SUPPORTERS, WE'VE BEEN SO BLESSED TONITE

[ghostboyjules]

I want to hug you sooo tight and just absolutely shower you with love. I want to listen to you talk about the things you love and are excited about. I want to dance in the kitchen with you and make you dinner and bake you cookies and sit outside watching fireflies with you <3

Thyme I'm actually kinda weeping about this, you got me blushing and kicking my legs like an absolute SILLY GOOSE. literally peppering your face in smooches rn as we speak AAAHHH ‼️‼️‼️💙💙💕💕💙💙💕💕😭😭😭😭💕🥺🥺💕😭💕😭💕😭😭💕😭 holding your hands and swaying with you in the kitchen while the cookies bake 🥰🥰 and talking nonsense and giggling like lil idiots!! playing games and just being chill and talking and hanging out!! aahh watching fireflies outside!! hearing the outside sounds!! the wind in the trees and maybe some windchimes.. 💕💕 beautiful moments of life that make everything worth it

from this reblog thing

[jadegr8]

god why was i so incredibly dumb to let slip to someone that i had a blog on tumblr and now they're determined to find it

[irisintheafterglow]

do you guys ever think about streamer!sakusa because i do

cw: swearing

sakusasbigtits👑👑: wait wtf are they in the room ??? hinatashoyolover: ASHDSFKAJSDFHG ellawantsaran👑: PARTNER REVEAL violetvolley2012: mOVE YOUR FUCKNIG WEBCAM oikawamilkbox7: SHWO PARTNER SHOW FPARTNER miya_osamu: what the fuck is going on

"what the hell is a miya doing in my chat? i could've sworn you guys just finished a charity stream," he dodges, leaning back in his chair as chaotic messages urging him to show his partner flew by. "look, i don't know what you guys are talking about. there's no one in the room but me." cross-legged on his bed and wearing his jersey, you stifle a laugh into your fist just out of sight. his eyes flicker over to you for a moment and soften before he goes back to manipulating his chat.

miyarearrangemyinsides👑: YOU FUCKING LIAR sakusasbigtits👑👑: WHY ARE YOU GASLIGHTING US

"i'm serious." more messages of indignancy light up his screen. "i don't think you guys even know what gaslighting means." a smirk spreads across his face as chat explodes, taking the bait and continuing to argue with their favorite man through a screen. "thank you kuroobella7 for the five gifted-"

stop being a big baby and show us your partner, deadpans the automatic voice reading out his donations. you can't help it, that time, and the laugh that slips out is definitely picked up by kiyoomi's mic.

sakusasbigtits👑👑: WHO WAS THAT oikawamilkbox7: WE HEARD THAT OMI tinygianttwo: hi sakusa!!

"hey, shoyo. welcome back to the hellhole that is my chat," he says, continuing to ignore the outrage rising in his stream. "hop in vc one, i'm gonna see if bokuto wants to play phasmophobia." your attention returns to your laptop and you continue with typing out the rest of your assignment.

you vaguely register kiyoomi saying something about grabbing another drink, forcing an ad onscreen before creeping over to you. his hands rest on the edge of the bed as he leans forward, pressing his lips softly to yours and smiling against your mouth. "i love you a lot."

"i love you more. when are you gonna stop convincing chat that i don't exist?"

"when they earn it," he answers simply, kissing the corner of your mouth and the tip of your nose. if lovesickness were a disease, he wouldn't mind being ill. "which i think will take a very long time."

"you are not making my stream debut a sub-goal," you chuckle, tilting your neck up to kiss the moles above his eyebrow. "i will not let you."

"how else are they gonna earn it?"

"i am not letting you monetize showing my face on your stream, omi," you reiterate with a delirious smile. he continues to push, nudging his nose against yours like a needy cat.

"you're cute when in my jersey. what if i end stream right now and just lay here with you?"

"okay, lover boy," you say, gently pushing his face away. "go back to--huh?" both of your attentions shoot to your phone, where the beaming face of bokuto's contact photo illuminated your screen. you swipe down on the sudden influx of notifications and feel your heart stop.

Less Tolerable Miya👎🏐: CHECK CHAT HAHAHA THERES NO FUCKIGN WAY Better Miya🍙🏐: oi check your volume stupid Bokuhoe Kotaro🦉✨🏐: BABE YOUR BOYFRIEND ISNT MTUED Less Tolerable Miya👎🏐: wait is my name in your phone still less tolerable miya Sunshine Shoyo🧡☀️🏐: SAKUSA'S STREAM SOUND IS ON

"oh...shit," he mutters, pressing one more kiss to your forehead before running to his computer and throwing his headphones on, face bright pink and tripping over his words. his chat is a wildfire, persistent and absolutely uncontrollable. at some point, kiyoomi just gives up and leans back in his chair, looking for you to help.

you raise your eyebrows in question.

he tilts his head to beckon you over.

you appear in the frame of his webcam, wearing his jersey. kiyoomi looks at you like you are the only thing that matters in his entire world.

"alright fuckers, you happy now that you've seen 'em? good, because if we reach subgoal, i'm gonna make them play fnaf with me."

if you enjoy my writing and would like to support me, you can buy me a coffee on my ko-fi! you can also check out my full masterlist here :)

[elmhat]

DSMP TUMBLR SIMULATOR

🟩 escapedwarcriminal Follow

On vacation! Check out the fancy hotel :)

🦆 stabbyduck69 Follow

gufys please mass report this he's trxying to fucking dox me and also kill me pls guys

7 notes

❌ god Follow

I just finished writing my latest book! To thank everyone who stuck with me through this process, I'm giving away one copy to a random follower! All you have to do is reblog 😊

#bookblr #writeblr

2,963,086,652,755 notes

🐝 what-if-bees-had-nukes Follow

Anyone know where the boomerville residents went?

🐝 what-if-bees-had-nukes Follow

No one replied so I guess I own their house now

3 notes

🥇 dreamsno1traitor Follow

.

#I'm actually so sick of these mfs #no joke if I have to spend another day around these people I might kms #one more comment about how "evil" he is and I'm gonna snap #I can't believe I used to be friends with them? #they're so bloodthirsty for no reason #sorry just needed to vent #can't say any more than this or I'll blow my cover #neg

2 notes

🧁 the-girl-who-burned-your-tree Follow

New strawberry cake recipe! (Safe for pigs)

Try out this delicious dessert that all the family can enjoy!

Keep reading

#baking #recipes #I just wanted to make something that my friend can eat too #he has some rather unique dietary requirements

130 notes

🐷 bloodforthebloodgod Follow

"average person destroys 1 government a year" factoid actually just statistical error. average person destroys 0 governments per year. technoblade is an outlier and should not have been counted

💿 fuckdream123 Follow

this is so fuckign disrespectful to doomsday survivors take this down you egotesticle fkng prick

45,687 notes

🟩 escapedwarcriminal Follow

@warden-of-the-vault How's idiotville idiot

🟩 escapedwarcriminal Follow

Wait you can't reply cause you're in IDIOTVILLE

5 notes

🪶 philzaminecraft Follow

My good friend has entrusted me with looking after his lovely dogs, haha! 😂 Do any of you fine young people have advice for me as to how to take care of this many hungry hounds? 🤔 I look forward to hearing from you.

From Philza Minecraft.

P.S. Please also instruct me as to how to increase the number of messages I receive in response to my questions. This internet website is a tad confusing. I had enough bother attaching the photograph. 😂

89 notes

🐷 bloodforthebloodgod Follow

woke up to the dash full of drama again. sigh

🦆 stabbyduck69 Follow

fucking Die

🐷 bloodforthebloodgod Follow

oh so you're the one sending all the anon hate

🦆 stabbyduck69 Follow

i don't send anon hate i'll hate to your fucking face bitch

🦆 stabbyduck69 Follow

please go out with me

11 notes

🔱 warden-of-the-vault Follow

🔥 murdered-yo-fave-pet Follow

But fr guys, as much as we're memeing around in the tags dream is actually out there and he's dangerous. If you see him call me or sam immediately. DON'T fight him. You'll /gen die.

6,210 notes

🐈 antthecatmaid Follow

won't be around for a while, going on vacation!

🐈 antthecatmaid Follow

fuck I'm back fuck fuck fuck

27 notes

💿 fuckdream123 Follow

i'm too sad to commit terrorism like what's the fucking point anymore

6 notes

🧨 zombiepresident1 Follow

World's First NFT Burgers

(Ignore the poor photo quality, my good camera got confiscated by authorities)

"An explosion of the senses, and I don't just mean that time the place exploded!" ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

"So much better than Quackity's horrible grimy SHIT FUCKING RESTAURANT" ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

#reviews are all from verified sources #don't look into it #someone blaze this I have no money

204 notes

✨ quirky-cake-duper-teleporter Follow

Genuinely fuck dream.

✨ quirky-cake-duper-teleporter Follow

Ignore this I wasn't in my right mind

16 notes

🐷 bloodforthebloodgod Follow

The Teletubby and the Pig

Fandom: Original Work Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Characters: Technoblade, Dream (me and my friend) Additional Tags: Pandora's Vault Prison, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort

Summary: idk man I'm bad at summaries, just something I wrote with my friend to pass the time (he was too embarrassed to post it)

284k words so far

-> Read here!

#I actually wrote this a while ago but I wasn't allowed to post it for legal reasons #don't worry though I'm planning to murder the legal reasons soon #writeblr #original fiction

35 notes

💍 im-from-the-future Follow

WARNING - PLEASE READ

My murderer showed up at my house today. Police refused to arrest him. I feel sick to my stomach, I don't know where he is or what he's doing, if he comes back I have no way to protect myself. Please stay vigilant and don't trust anyone you don't know.

🥕 catsncarrots Follow

i'm so sorry to hear that karl :( hey what's the new pfp?

💍 im-from-the-future Follow

No idea

43 notes

🥚 baddestboi-withahalo Follow

we all accepted the prison way too quickly. there's like no safety measures? are we forgetting someone DIED THERE? and i've literally seen the main cell myself and it's a mess. pretty sure there was some real blood on the walls too. idk just doesn't feel right

🔱 warden-of-the-vault Follow

I'm tired of people reblogging posts like this without checking their sources. There are some obvious red flags here. For starters, op claims they've witnessed the main cell personally, but if you actually check the prison's rules, visits have been banned for several months now [x]. The prison is armed with state of the art security measures, including lava, barriers, and numerous manual searches, to name just a few [x]. Speaking as an authority on the prison myself [x], I can safely confirm that these security measures, as well as the prisoner, are in perfect condition. Don't be so quick to buy into conspiracy theories.

🥚 baddestboi-withahalo Follow

I LITERALLY WORK THERE????

🔱 warden-of-the-vault Follow

Not anymore you don't.

972 notes

[tarjapearce]

Can we get a little story or something of how would Miguel take care of pregnant mama? Like I KNOW he would do the most and go the extra mile. But can we get it in your words?

Pregnancy Cares With Miguel ~ ✨

Warning: Pure fluff and a mild squeeze of nsfw.

Let's meet this weekend. MJ and I found this new place. And the hamburgers? God. 🤌🏻🤌🏻. They have these amazing artisanal beer.

You pouted at the screen. You wanted to go for a burger, but for some reason, you retched at the smell of beef. It was a big no for you. Plus you couldn't drink, for obvious reasons.

I need an outing so badly. Need a drink, work is getting so stressful. This weekend or the next one?

Jessica replied as MJ sent a ':) ' emoji on the group chat.

Can't go :(

What? Why tf no? You've been telling me you need a break. 😐

🤰

Miguel had sent the emoji and you rolled your eyes

I WAS SUPPOSED TO TELL THEM MIGUEL!!!

Wait... Fr?! 😱

OMG ❤️

MJ texted as the rest appeared as typing.

OMG Imma be an auntie!!?? 😳

Boy or Girl?

We don't know yet

You don't know 👀

Stop. Playing.

🤭🤭

SPILL OUT THE BEANS 🙄

Peter had sent a nervous gif and you cackled.

You'll find out tomorrow 😊

I swear if you don't tell

😏😏 What's gonna happen?

Guys... Im pretty sure these sort of things got you in the current situation you're in, can you not do this in the chat please?

FR

MJ just sent a 🤭 emoji.

Fine, woosies. It's a girl. ❤️❤️💖

SHUT UP 🥹🥹

MJ sent another gif exploding in hearts

Congrats on both 🎉🎉

Miguel remained quiet. You pouted.

What you didn't know is that when he came home, he'd get you a lovely bouquet of tulips and some pickles. He'd just pulled your grumpy self into a tight loving hug as he kissed your temple repeatedly until your mood vanished.

"A girl? Really? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Cause the doctor just sent me the results! And you ruined the surprise. I wanted to tell them in a different way!"

"Yeah, yeah. It's a girl! You know what that means?"

"That I'm gonna get so fat?"

"No, mensa. And even if you did, I'd still hit that." (Dummy)

"Not funny" Your cheeks flushed softly as he chuckled.

"Means that we can finally paint her room"

Your eyes swelled up in tears upon hearing him speak so softly and lovingly. He was excited. You could tell by the little flush in his ears.

"Shopping day tomorrow?"

"Ps obvio" (Obviously )

You giggled.

.----

Ever since you told Miguel you both were expecting a girl, it was like a switch turned in him.

He'd cuddle you with such care, he'd think you'd break. Wich was annoying to you since you missed sleeping ontop of him.

And when the cravings started? Dios mío.

"M-Miguel" You'd whimper as you wiped your eyes. He'd startle and instantly go in alert mode.

"¿Qué pasó? ¿Tas bien?" (What's wrong? You ok?)

You hiccuped and weeped "We have no pickles."

He'd stare at you, trying to process the correct emotion to feel in this situation.

"You're crying cause we don't... have pickles"

"Don't be mean!"

You'd hit him softly with a pillow and curled back to your bed.

"Ok, ok, Don't cry? I'll go to the... the store. Be right back."

"Can I have Nutella too?"

"Uh, sure."

Drowsy eyes looked at the clock. 2 am. On another time, he'd surely would ignore the senseless petition and talk to go back to sleep. But how could he do that when you were pregnant? He was an ass sometimes, but with a pregnant you? Never.

He went to the store, to his dismay there was only two small pickle jars, and they were inside a lady's basket.

... Puta madre...

Why was everyone suddenly in the crave for pickles?

He didn't have to elaborate much and explained the lady. She just laughed it off and kindly surrendered them to him.

"Cravings? Oh boy. You better buy her the three jar packs. And avoid wearing too strong colognes infront of her! It might get her queasy."

"Thanks" With a polite smile he paid for the pickles and went home.

You were waiting for him, teary eyed and pouty. He opened the jar of pickles for you and stared at you with awe and a mild disgust as you dipped one of the pickles inside the Nutella and scarfed the veggie down with such hunger it made you cry again.

"Its so good."

His shoulders slumped with a sigh and wiped your chin.

"You're such a weirdo."

"Want some?"

"No, thanks. Keep eating"

"But I'll get fat"

"It's normal to gain weight during pregnancy."

"You'd love me if I was chubbier right?"

"Yes. I would. Eat your... thing."

He'd chuckle watch you eat until you were satisfied. three pickles in total with half the bottle of Nutella.

The next day he got you a small pack of pickles and two big bottles of that sweet spread to then rub your feet.

---

As time went on and your belly grew, the doctor appointments never got skipped or missed. He was there making sure everything was in order. His big hand hugging yours in a secure embrace as you got your ultrasounds. Everything was going perfectly.

The most dangerous months had passed and he allowed to breathe a bit more.

He had refused when you told him you wanted to work from home. Even if it was home office.

"No. It can lead you to stress out. And that will stress the baby out. Something can happen and no. Let me handle it."

"Stop being paranoid, I'll be fine! I just... don't like sitting all day or sleeping. I need to do something. And you didn't let me do much in the baby's room either!"

"Mi amor. You need to rest. I know you don't like it. But you need to."

"Could you at least get me an exercise ball?"

"Sure. Just don't-"

"Ay ya, Miguel! Ni que fuera a romperme!" (Stop it. I'm not gonna break!)

you whined

"I worry, mi reina."

"I know, and I appreciate it, but I gotta do something around!"

"Just promise me you'll go easy, ok?"

"Fine."

You kissed his cheek and cuddled him, the heat he provided felt heavenly against your back. You had started to waddle and to your dismay a new nickname was born. You were his Pingüinita. (Little penguin)

On the six month mark, you'd toss and turn on bed, feeling either too hot or cold. One moment you were snuggled against him, for the next to remove your clothes and lay naked next to him.

One particular night you felt suffocating. Summer was rampant and you woke up in tears at the oppressing heat.

He'd wake up no long after and filled in the bathtub with the right kind of water. Sweat and hormones raging on your body. Despite sleepiness clinging to him, he'd help you to the tub and bathe you.

Big and gentle hands massaged your wet scalp to then massage your shoulders and lower back. He splashed your body with water and kissed your temple carefully.

"Feel better? "

"Great, thank you, mi amor."

He'd smile lazily and remained there with you, almost falling asleep again in the bathroom until you were ready to leave to sleep.

- - -

He'd buy you long and cotton nightgowns. They were breathable and made everything a bit more comfortable for you, along some essential vitamins. And a hammock for the porch. He'd find you sleeping often in there.

Whenever you went out with the rest he'd make sure that none ordered meat. You still were sensitive to the smell, despite Peter longing for a burger.

Miguel would bathe with you to help you wash your back. But it was just an excuse to touch you and feel you. He'd be as gentle as he could with you. It turned him on to see you swelling with his child. Even brought out things he didn't know was into. Like, a lactation kink. And eat you out despite your protests of not being able to see him.

He was absolutely moonstruck with you. And when the time for you to deliver his baby finally came. He tried to remain strong and collected, despite his hands trembling like an earthquake. He kept an eye on you like a hawk, always looming around you.

He couldn't help but melt when Gabriella's cries echoed loud and healthy on the room.

He kissed you with such pride in his eyes that you'd think he was about to cry.

He knew his life with you had just started, and he was glad he had chosen you. Happy and grateful even. You just made him a dad of a wonderful little girl that instantly quieted down when he held her in his arms. One of the nurses snapped a picture of him holding and cooing Gabi as you got a well deserved nap.

Despite him not being a texter, he sent the picture of Gabi to the group chat.

OMG! Congratulations! she's so beautiful! 😊

I wanna cry so badly right now. She's gorgeous 🎉🎉

I'm an uncle now. :') So proud of you, Miguel.

Thanks

When can we see her?

Lemme ask Pingüinita and I'll let you know.

🐧?

[amphibiahawks321]

[Request from anon, Polyamory relationship with Pomni and Ragatha (to whoever anon that gave me the request I'm so sorry I accidentally deleted your request!)]

✨ADVENTURE✨

......

🏰CASTLE NONSENSE DIFFENCE~🏰

💥💥💥!!!!

[Y/N, Pomni and Ragatha immediately takes cover inside the castle leans against the wall and immediately starts panting]

Ragatha : Pant H-hehe Well that could've gone better right guys!

Pomni : What the %$!# are those THINGS!

[Y/N peek his head out of the castle doors to see a bunch of gummy worms with legs and googly eyes while holding katanas on both hands with grenades strapped to them charging at the castle]

M!Reader : Pant Okay we gotta stay calm-

Pomni : Stay calm!? A bunch of gummy worms with legs are charging at us!

Ragatha : Pomni calm down! Breath slowly-

Pomni : I don't even have a nose!

Ragatha : ......Oh yeah

M!Reader : U-Umm... Uh... Maybe they're not that bad! Those grenade throws that they threw were probably just luck-

💥💥💥!!!

[An explosion can be heard from the castles tower which made gangle fall down in front of them]

Gangle : aaaaAAAAA-

[fall face first]

M!Reader/Ragatha/Pomni : ......

M!Reader : Gangle you okay?

Gangle : Yes... But they're getting way closer now....

M!Reader : H-hehe maybe that was another lucky throw-

💥💥💥!!!

[The other tower exploded making king fall down]

King : aaaaaAAAAA-

[fall down with his wooden body a little burned]

King : THOSE THINGS ARE ANIMALS!

Ragatha & Pomni : Oh gosh we're doomed!-/Where the %$!# is Jax even at!-

Ragatha : I thought making the three of us the front line was gonna be like a cool butt kicking date!-

[M!Reader immediately kissed both of them]

M!Reader : Girls! Calm your damn horses!

Ragatha blushing : ......

[Pomni's pupils turn into hearts]

M!Reader : First of all! Ragatha your idea was a great idea! If it hadn't for these... Creatures to be surprisingly good it would've gone super cool!

Ragatha blushing : Aww... shucks

M!Reader : Second of all! Pomni I love you but you gotta keep your cool! Your reaction to those things are really reasonable but if we all just keep our cool we could get out of this mess okay pom!

[Pomni's pupils still hearts]

Pomni : Y-your right....

M!Reader : And thirdly! where the %$!# is Jax!-

[A door inside the castle got kicked open]

Jax : Hey guess what I found in the basement!

[Shows Jax carrying a whole bunch of guns and drops them down on the floor]

[Jax immediately picks up the minigun]

Jax : Let the bloodshed begin!

[Jax immediately walks outside wasted no time and immediately starts shooting]

M!Reader : .......

M!Reader : Eh %$!# it....

[Y/N picks up an Ak-47]

[Y/N went outside to shoot with Jax while King and Gangle just stares at the bloodshed happening outside while still on the floor with shocked expression while Pomni and Ragatha was still blushing at the fact Y/N just did that]

[mountedeverest]

Fuck it Friday

Buck x Tommy Drabble 7x06 spec T (sorta)

A little tease! I've been reading the interviews, especially Lou's where he says he makes a "dramatic entrance" at Madney's wedding, and this is what I had in mind!! Rest of drabble under cut. Enjoy ! Tags ✨ @tizniz LMK if you'd like to be added/removed

"Who's that? Bringing in the groom?"

Somewhere off to Buck's side, some lady is pointing up at the sky. As the whipping sound of blades gets increasingly louder, Buck turns just in time to see the bird closing in, a worse-for-wear but alive Chim on it's passenger side waving at the wedding guests below.

Buck smiles.

"That would be my boyfriend."

The helicopter touches down on the patch of grass they had just cleared. The blades start winding down and Hen, ever the Best Woman, runs up to Chim who looks like he's just about to keel over. It doesn't take too long for Tommy to make his way out and around the chopper to join the other guests, but just as he emerges, Buck sees him, and he is not looking respectfully.

The suit Tommy's wearing is fitted. The first few buttons on his dress shirt are undone and his hair doesn't seem to have product, which means it's curly and moving with the wind. He's wearing his pilot sunglasses like he's out of fucking Top Gun.

Buck goes weak in the knees a little. Tommy is so cool.

What's more, when Tommy clocks him, he cracks the widest smile at Buck, all sunshine and puppy dogs. His nose scrunches up.

Buck practically runs to meet him halfway, and Tommy only has time to remove his sunglasses before Buck takes a hold of Tommy's face with both hands and crashes his whole mouth against his, full tongue. It is not a gentle kiss.

Never mind that Buck was supposed to soft launch his boyfriend.

Never mind that he'd only told a select few that he was out.

Never mind that they were currently very surrounded, by many people who knew them both yet were unaware of the new developpments.

Tommy goes with it, not necessarily one for extreme PDA, but his hands - huge, huge hands - wrap around Buck's sides to his lower back, gently stabilizing them both.

When they break apart for air after what could be qualified as a long time for a kiss, Tommy has this bewildered look on his face, like he'd just been hit in the face with something. In a sense, he had.

"You are... happy to see me?" Tommy's not really asking, more like he's trying to unscramble his brain after all of his braincells tragically died with the force impact of Buck's mind-numbing kiss.

"That was so, so hot." Buck grits through his teeth, cute aggression on full as his fingers twist in the short hair at the back of Tommy's head. "I'm not well."

"Down, boy." Tommy chuckles nervously, soothing Buck with a hand on his chest. He smiles coyly. "If you're good during the ceremony, maybe we can uh, find a less public place later to say hello."

If this was a cartoon, steam would come out of Buck's ears and nostrils, his heart would beat out of his chest, or he'd just explode. Real life comes close though, because Buck can feel himself flush all the way down to his toes. If his knees were a lil weak before, well, they're giving out now.

"Woah there!" Tommy catches him and keeps him upright as Buck finds his footing.

"This is what you do to me, Tommy." Buck says back in a somewhat strangled, accusatory tone.

Tommy only chortles, as he guides them towards the alley where, hopefully, there was gonna be a wedding soon.

[love-toxin]

I'm so in love with the way you write!! Especially bully!Eddie, he makes me feel all gooey inside<3 can't wait to see what you write next, pretty 🥰✨

hehehe!!! take this!!! (yes i am using this as an opportunity to be self-indulgent AND festive even tho i finished this a little late LOL <3)

(cws: bully!dad!eddie, f!mom!angelface, christmas festivities, gift-giving, teasing, mentions of postpartum healing and a past of poverty living, set 5 years post-babytrapping, fluff.)

If you thought Eddie wasn't gonna bother getting gifts for your children before he became a father, you would be beyond wrong. He's always been mean, always been rough, but ever since that first Christmas you spent together as a family, he's been the biggest softie you've ever seen for his babies.

Your first one, Elliott, is getting bigger by the day--he's five and still as much of an angel as the day he was born, dark curls exploding all over his head and freckles dusting his nose. Lorien, who just turned four, is a clumsy little guy with his father's eyes and your soft, demure smile. And Trinity is still a bit too small to show much personality yet, but she's giggly and a good sleeper and quite happy for a two-month-old in a chaotic house full of boys. They all get spoiled, but not rotten, lucky for you. Eddie can at least be strict at times and you don't fold easily to those glimmery little eyes when the boys are begging for something they want. But that definitely changes at Christmas, when your husband plays the role of Santa so well you might as well slap a fake beard on his chin and give him a suit to go with his sack of goodies.

However, that same gesture hasn't exactly extended to you. It's not one-sided--you don't really get him much, either--but Eddie's gifts to you in the last five years have been pretty scarce. Your birthday is always a different story and so is his, but with having at least one child each year and that number growing over time, as well as struggling to pay bills and keep the roof over your heads on a single income, presents haven't ever really been a spectacle between you two. Usually it's some chocolate if he can afford it, or simply a kiss and the promise of a date during those couple years where you could barely avoid food, those awful times when you literally scrounged for whatever pennies you could save just to get your children something to open on Christmas morning. All the while watching and feeling a sense of relief at their excitement, all while yours and Eddie's stomachs rumbled with hunger but your boys sat full and satisfied.

But those days of struggling are over, at least for the foreseeable future. This year Eddie's taken over a considerable chunk of the garage as a partner and started doing detail work on the side, and with the success of that as well as the band picking up more and more gigs, you've watched those fears of not being able to provide for your children slowly vanish in your rearview. You even have a job yourself, part-time at the general store where you can chat away with Joyce and have a little time and money to yourself. This is the first year you're actually spending the holidays in a house instead of the trailer, one that you scouted out and Eddie bought, and with all those changes under your belts, you've managed to carve out quite the life for yourself and your little family.

And Eddie's changing, too. You'll never be proud of what you did, you're sure you'll never not feel a little sick at the memory of sabotaging his contraceptives all those years ago. But you've grown and so has Eddie--he's still gruff, and can be a little prickly around the edges when he's in a mood, but your opinion of him definitely changed when you watched him become a parent. And not in the literal sense, just at Elliott's birth. You've watched him become gentle and sweet and learn how to manage himself, you've seen him apply those behaviors to you and you've even gotten some good moments out of him--an apology, for one, and a promise as well.

"I'm never gonna be perfect, I know. But I'll...I'll be the kinda guy a girl like you deserves. I'll be good to you. And....fuck, I mean, I'll try and make it up to you for all that stupid shit. I'll just....I'll find a way, okay? I'll find a way."

That way had been a ring and another baby, the latter of the two being pure coincidence, but he really is making an effort. That much is obvious in the littlest things, like how he waved you off to bed and told you he'd take care of the baby tonight, doing all the feeding and burping and changing and soothing that would usually be shared between the two of you. His only excuse had been that it was Christmas Eve, and he expected a damn good breakfast in the morning for all that last-minute grocery shopping he'd had to do for you the day before. But even as he served you all that indignation and sass, he had cradled your baby girl in his arms as he gave you a kiss, and quietly smiled down at her as he cooed a little lullaby and you snuggled up in your bed to sleep.

"Mommy! It's Christmas, mommy! Wake up!"

When you're finally shaken awake by your boys at eight am sharp, you almost aren't sure where you are, or what day it is--you've been so exhausted taking care of your newborn that you've forgotten what a good night's sleep is. They hop around cheering and grabbing at you to get you up, only calming down enough to lean in for kisses when you bid them a good morning. When you're eventually dragged out of bed by those two excitable little gremlins and stumble half-awake through the hallway, you nearly bump right into your husband as he's carrying your daughter back to her bassinette.

"Mmh....Eds, did you sleep?"

"A little." Somehow, he's grinning, despite it being so early and him sporting bags under his tired eyes. You hadn't been woken up once that you can remember, not even to breastfeed, which would mean that Eddie had been up with Trin for pretty much the whole night in the nursery. Not unusual, but....well, sometimes you forget he can be pretty thoughtful when he feels like it. With a kiss placed on your daughter's head, and another sleepily pressed to Eddie's lips, you rub your eyes and let your sons take each hand to pull you down the steps to go see what Santa left you all. And, as per usual, only half-listening to their father's nagging to slow it down, so you don't go flying!

Fortunately, by the time you're down the stairs and Eddie's on your heels, you've blinked away snough of the sleep that you can stretch and yawn and shake off the tiredness that had kept you so soft and warm in bed. You let the boys take the lead as they hurry into the living room, and when you turn the corner to join them, you're met with quite the unexpected surprise. One that leaves you so pleasantly shocked that even Eddie can't smother his low, soft laughter as he comes up behind you for a kiss to your ear.

Waiting for your boys at the base of the tree are the gifts you and Eddie had wrapped and placed there, making sure to do so later in the night to give your boys a proper taste of that innocent belief in Santa Claus. But Eddie's ploy of staying up with the baby evidently wasn't all for the reasons he had supposed--you can see now that the stockings you had put up over the back of the couch, purely just for decoration, have been stuffed full to bursting with sweets and little toys and trinkets. You've got three of them, one for each child with their names stitched in by Eddie's careful hands, but there's another one that wasn't there last night. Smaller, cuter, but still with a few goodies inside that look like your favourite chocolates peeking out the top and some fuzzy socks. When you turn to look at him, he doesn't even pretend he wasn't looking, although he swerves around you and does pretend to be occupied with soothing your still-sleeping baby.

"Looks like Santa got a lot of work done, huh, boys?" You call out to them while not breaking your locked stare with your husband, arms crossing over your chest as you exchange a few looks that don't feel as innocent as they once were. Eddie winks in that confident way that stirs a heat up in your belly, before he turns and moves to lay your daughter down in the little handmade cradle by the wall that he's left out since the boys were small enough to sleep in it.

"Uh huh! Mama, look! Santa gave you presents!" Lorien calls right back to you, plopped down right next to his brother as they wait on the rug by the tree, practically vibrating with excitement. You quirk an eyebrow, but Eddie hustles over and distracts them by starting up the train of gift-unwrapping, handing each of them their first present with a warm sort of smile that doesn't come around all that often. With their interests piqued and their excited squeals coming out as they tear through the colourful paper, you pull the crib over a few feet to include your little girl in the festivities and take a seat on the couch. You're definitely still on the mend from Trinity's birth, and you don't mind rocking the little wooden cradle as you watch your children laugh and thank mommy, daddy, and Santa for their new toys.

They're such sweet kids, and you don't feel like you're that amazing of a person, so it's really quite the phenomenon that they've turned out to be such respectful and kind little boys. Elliott is so gentle in helping his little brother open the harder to unwrap presents, and they both hold each side of the gifts they got for you and for Eddie as they place them in your laps, giggling and squirming when they get a hail of kisses on their faces as thanks for the little drawings and handmade necklaces. But after most of the pile has diminished, and your sons are thoroughly wiped out from the excitement and looking forward to breakfast, Eddie tilts his head and gestures towards the kitchen.

"Go get a snack, and watch your cartoons in the den until breakfast. Help your brother open his, El."

"Okay, daddy!" With one of their new toys in hand and one last tight, gripping hug on each side for their beloved father, Elliott grabs Lorien's little hand and leads him towards the kitchen, both sets of adult ears tuning in to hear the sounds of them bustling around before they get to the right cupboard, and hustle into the playroom in a fit of giggles to catch their favourite cartoons. Then, and only then, does Eddie drag out those presents that had been hiding around the back of the tree, and drops them carefully in front of you until there's at least six or seven boxes by your feet. It isn't until you pick one up and read the tag on it that you realize it's addressed to you, and with a nervous bite to your lip you look back at your husband without much to say. Is it a prank? He encourages you to open them, and when you pull one of those mid-sized boxes towards you and gingerly lift the top off, you blink away the surprise of seeing a few nice, soft sweaters lying inside. All three are somewhat similar to cashmere if not the real thing, they're in your size, they're in colours you like....but he brushes off your awed thank-yous and just puts another gift in your lap, waiting anxiously for you to open it and find the hair clips and little makeup set inside that you'd been wanting.

"Eddie....really, you didn't have to get me anything. You didn't have to get me this much."

"Oh, shut your mouth, you little goody-goody. Take the damn gifts." He shakes off your gratitude like a wet dog, and shoves the next present into your hands before you can even fawn over the one you've already got. Yet, despite coming off as aggressive as he can be, he's got that smug smirk crawling its way across his lips whenever you seem shocked or excited at what he had bought you. But when the hail of presents is done with, and Christmas morning has officially wrapped up, you feel a sense of guilt as you thumb through the books and the tapes he had got you for the new cassette player you have. While you've definitely gone without any gift exchanging in other years, you did get him some new work gloves and a pic case with the Metallica logo on it this time, but it doesn't seem like it's enough. And he can tell by the way you meekly apologize for your pathetic gift-giving, although he doesn't scoff or poke fun at you like he usually would. He just....looks down at his hands, and fiddles with the string on his plaid sleep pants before he answers you.

"You gave me three kids, and a life, and....and a reason to live. You didn't need to get me anything, and you shouldn't have, cause...." He trails off, and you sit there slack-jawed in awe of what you're hearing, wondering if that's really what you're hearing, because it's so rare for Eddie to be touchy-feely when he's also being lucid about his own behavior. You know he knows how he acts is cruel at times, which is why he's really toned down since you first got pregnant and when you had the boys and Trinity. I'm not gonna be like my father. That's what he had said, and he's kept his word since then. Even so, he slips up at times, but you never would've thought that even with all the progress he's made, he'd do something like this completely out of the blue. Eddie smiles at some thought he's got in his head, and reaches over to clasp his warm, rough hand over yours, and you turn your wrist so you can hold it back and lace your fingers together as your palms touch. "Sometimes, I only got up in the mornings because I knew I'd get to see you. I'd get to bully that dumb smile off your face and make you cry, and I'd feel something."

Maybe it's something in the air, but you feel the courage well up inside you to bring your entwined hands up to your face, and kiss each one of his knuckles so tenderly. Usually that would serve as an oportunity for Eddie to flick your nose or jab at you for being a cheesy, mushy crybaby, but shockingly again he says nothing and just....smiles again. It feels normal. Maybe he's been doing it more recently, and you just haven't noticed.

"Now I got people that depend on me, I....I got people who care whether I live or die. I can work hard day after day, and know that the ones I love will get something out of it. I'm someone's fucking dad. That's crazy." Just as the words come out of his mouth, you hear the squeals and laughter of your boys in the other room, along with the soft gurgling of your precious little girl as she starts waking up. He really isn't wrong, he works incredibly hard to provide and even when he grumbles and complains as he pulls himself out of bed to cover someone's no-show shift, he still comes home with a tired smile to welcome his boys into a hug and waltzes in to kiss you hello. He teases you to no end but he still holds you when you're in pain, he takes your complaints and worries so seriously and never misses a chance to bring you to the clinic or pick up your medicines if that's what you need. And even after twelve, thirteen, or fourteen hour shifts where everything's gone wrong and he just wants to pass out for the whole evening, you still stir awake to get a bleary-eyed look at his bare back as he stands over Trinity's bassinette, soothing and bottle-feeding her late into the night so you won't have to get up.

"You're an amazing father, Eddie." You lean into him, a kiss pressed to his jaw as you hold his hand so closely to your chest, and even with your head resting on his shoulder and his breath hitching when yours puffs against his skin, he still rumbles out a soft bit of mockery to fill the empty space between.

"Shut up. Fucking softie.....I love you."

"I love you too." You kiss his chin this time, and he takes the hint to tilt his head down and capture your lips when you go in for another. He's chapped and warm, he smells of milk and a bit of menthol along with his cologne, and it's the strangest combination but it so encompasses Eddie as he is now. He's the kind of father that would get his children McDonald's and watch them eat with a smile as his stomach rumbled, and he's the kind of husband that would agree to share your meal just to take the most unintrusive bite of your burger and tell you he's full. And he's the type of man that, if you ever fell back on those hard times again, would do it all over and more if it meant making sure that his wife and children were taken care of. And still he asks for nothing, but you know by the way he had stared down at the drawings and that pic case and traced the insignia that he'll treasure those moments forever--he'll always know that he's loved, and that his sacrifices will always mean something to your family, especially when your kids grow up and find those same values within themselves. Hopefully, with your influence included, without any of those feelings of abandonment or turmoil that Eddie's still working at undoing with you as you both grow older.

As you sit there together, cuddling and holding one another with plentiful thumps of your hearts, you squeeze his arm so tight and let him feel how much love tightens around it in a hug. He looks so peaceful, and you just have to take the chance to teasingly throw his favourite words right back at him as he looks so solemn and lost in thought. "You gonna cry, you little baby?"

"Fuck you," He spits back immediately with a grin, turning to look down on you and following it up with an especially passionate kiss. If it weren't for your kids being in the other room, and for Trinity starting to stir in the crib as she yawns, it probably wouldn't have stopped there. But for now it does, and Eddie helps you to your feet as you hug him close one last time before moving to welcome your little girl into your arms, and see what she's feeling like so you can hopefully omit some oncoming discomfort. Clingy as ever, Eddie snakes his arms around you from behind one last time as you hold her, kissing your cheek over your shoulder and gently bopping Trin's little Munson nose before he whispers his plans for breakfast in your ear, and slips away to duck into the kitchen.

"Boys! Breakfast in ten! Bacon, yes or no?"

"Yes!" The two of them shout back to their father from the playroom, and you chuckle to yourself as he pretends to mishear them just to elicit a playful reaction, as they frantically correct their daddy while you spend a little time tending to your newborn. Thankfully she doesn't seem too hungry yet, just a little restless, so you lay her back down in the crib and make a mental note to remind Eddie to bring the whole thing over to the table so you can all eat as a family. For now, though, you find yourself meandering back through the archway to find your husband at the stove, several pans already laid out and a carton of eggs open as he's in the midst of cracking a few and humming. You recognize the tune, One Night in the City, and you find yourself joining in with a softer voice as you come up from behind, and wrap your arms around him to lovingly rub his belly the way he likes. It's kinda sweet how surprised he always is to find that you've remembered things like that about him, and as always, he has to brush it off with a few words so he doesn't have to acknowledge how special it makes him feel.

"You love me, huh? That's embarrassing." Even so, he grazes the hand you've got on his stomach with his own, smiling silently to himself as he cracks another egg into the pan with a sssh as the whites hit the hot steel.

[mylifeisactuallyamess]

My love!! I am so so so proud of you and your follower milestone, well done, you deserve it so much 🥺

Could I (here comes a surprise) please request comfort with Crosshair? On the back of our earlier conversation about how loyal and protective and caring he’d be to his loved one, I am dying to see how you do it, especially knowing how gorgeously you write all the Clones 🥰(you know my struggle over who to pick)

Again, I am so proud of you!!!✨

Thank you beautiful, 🥹 for sending this in, for supporting me and listening to me ramble for hours about our boys and opening my eyes to the clone that is Crosshair!

Warnings: Mention of O66, nightmares, established relationship if you squint, mention of canon violence. 18+ but no actual smut.

A/N: I'm gonna brave posting this and hope it shows up properly!

Word Count: 1.8k+

Your hands were flat on the ground, fingers spread to accommodate the grass stalks that poked between them. Inhaling deeply through your nose meant you could smell the freshness of the air, nothing could beat it. Being in space for long periods of time stifled your connection to the Living Force so whenever the ship landed the first thing you did was go out and touch life.

Wrecker made jokes, granting him an exasperated stare from Echo, Tech just left you to it and sometimes Hunter would watch you with curiosity lighting his gaze.

You had done a few missions with the Bad Batch now, which was always an experience. You enjoyed the squads company and their unorthodox way of doing things, it spoke to your hidden reckless nature.

A small smile graced your lips, even with your eyes shut you could tell who was before you, blocking out the sun that had been warming your skin.

“Touching grass, again?” He drawled. “You’re as bad as Hunter.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” a small smile accompanied your reply.

“Don’t.” Crosshair moved to the side, setting himself down against a tree to do maintenance on his rifle. Usually such noise would distract from your meditation but you took comfort in the sounds of his rifle coming apart. The meticulous way he laid the pieces out, cleaning it the same way every, single, time.

You weren’t sure what to call you and Crosshair. Incidents had happened, moments in the dark away from the Marauder with the whispered rules of no attachments. No strings, no feelings. It was the Jedi way. Maybe there was no label, there shouldn’t be.

“General. You’ve got a transmission.” Opening your eyes your hands retracted from the ground, exhaling as you did. Rising up you turned and headed back to the ship.

Crosshair waited for you to saunter past before he looked at you, pulling his gaze away from the barrel of his rifle to watch you mount the steps of the Marauder and disappear inside. You were everything, strong, fearless…and untouchable.

A Jedi.

You’d been the first human female he’d ever come across, your lightsabers cutting through the hostiles and literally exploding into his life. He had tried to ignore the way you made him feel by ignoring you completely but his brothers had noticed his change in behaviour very quickly. You were the only General he hadn’t insulted behind their back or to their face.

Wrecker, for all his stupidity, had been the first one to notice. Loudly pointing it out with a firm nudge to Crosshair’s shoulder that nearly caused him to topple over. You’d only been a few paces away at the time, hands clasped behind your back as you conversed with General Skywalker and General Kenobi. You’d thrown a glance back in the clone's direction before leaving, but Crosshair had committed that look to his memory.

The next time he saw you was in the hold of the Marauder, a bag slung onto your back, your Jedi armour clean and flawless. There had been a moment, charged and nameless as you both regarded one another only for it to be dispersed by the arrival of the rest of the squad.

Each mission you had done with them solidified that feeling in Crosshair’s chest. The quickening of his heart, the roar of his pulse inside his helmet and the lurch of his stomach whenever you put yourself in harms way.

Eventually he admitted, only to himself, what this was.

He wanted you.

He wanted to run his fingers through your hair, to touch the smoothness of your skin and taste the perfection that were your lips.

You’d approached him one night, in the light of some random moon that made you glow like an ethereal being. He tried to keep his feelings in check but your other senses finally worked him out and you looked at him like no one else ever had.

He got to run his fingers through your hair, he did touch the smoothness of your skin and taste your lips. The next encounter he got to experience your hot breath on his face, to hear the small whimpers he pulled from you as you leaned back in his arms.

You were intoxicating.

Every time he saw you it was like he was peering over the edge of a cliff into oblivion. It was dangerous, so you’d both agreed no feelings, no attachments and he’d never felt anything so deflating before. Also, it made him want you more.

Then the dreams started. Nightmares so vivid he woke up with a shout. They ripped through him every night and he hated them.

Now, whenever he held his rifle he could see you down the sight, his rangefinder zoomed into your heat signature. Finger pressing the trigger as he repeated, good soldiers follow orders, in his mind over and over again until he felt like he was going mad.

He hadn’t told anyone about them, his brothers would think him weak or realise he’d overstepped the mark and broken the rules with a Jedi. Their friend.

Finishing with his rifle he clipped it all back together, putting his frustrations into every firm click. Hopefully taking out some clankers would erase these emotions. But he doubted it.

Crosshair was very quiet, more melancholy than usual on the way back to the ship. His weapon resting on his shoulder, gaze on the ground as he walked. You were exhausted from the fight, your energy levels were low but still you could feel his presence and it was in turmoil.

You wished you could talk to him but with the rest of the squad here you knew he wouldn’t utter a word unless it was a scathing retort.

Wrecker was recounting the battle, using his large hands when he explained the explosion he had created. Tech tried to tell him you had all seen it but Wrecker continued anyway. His exuberance covered the hidden tension and you were grateful for it, Hunter you witnessed side eyed his stoic brother but chose not to draw attention to his dark mood.

The squad relaxed in the Marauder, packs and weapons set down with exaggerated sighs. Another mission done, onto the next. It didn’t escape your notice that Crosshair had slipped silently into a bunk, his back to everyone.

You went to sit in the cockpit, letting your eyes lose focus as you watched hyperspace glide past you in an array of flickering lights. It really was beautiful, easily lulling you to sleep in the chair behind Tech.

You weren’t sure what woke you. The ship was still steadily travelling in the hyperspace lane, no proximity warnings were going off and yet you felt disjointed. Tech and Echo were asleep on their chairs, Tech snoring softly. You got up and stretched, entering the hold to find Hunter spread on the chair by the console, arms down by his sides and legs relaxed. Wrecker was in the gunner's chair, his heavy breathing telling you he was also asleep.

A noise made you turn to see Crosshair was still on the bunk. He was restless, a deep frown furrowed his brow, his eyes twitching under the lids. His lips were moving, muttering something you couldn’t make out and you moved closer.

Reaching out, you gently brushed your fingers through his short grey hair, hoping the motion would calm him but it seemed to make him more agitated. Breathing deeply you set a hand on his chest plate, concentrating and reaching into his Force signature.

You weren’t prepared for what you saw. He was dreaming of battle. The whole squad was there, even you. It amazed you, how he saw you. It took a moment before you recognised yourself, but it was definitely you sighted down the scope of his rifle. You could feel his conflict, the pain of his feelings for you being ripped apart by something so much more overpowering and dangerous.

Good soldiers follow orders… The phrase he was repeating became clear and you gasped when the rifle fired.

Pulling yourself free of his dream you felt something on your wrist only to find Crosshair glaring up at you in the dim light of the hold.

You stared at each other, terrified breaths filling the quiet space while coming to terms with what you had just seen. Slowly Crosshair moved, his hand still holding your wrist in case you tried to get away.

“For how long?” You whispered. His gaze drifted to the side, mouth turning down in disgust at himself.

“Months.” Falling to your knees you gazed up at him.

“I know you wouldn’t.” Gently you lay a hand on the side of his face, watching the way his eyes closed and he leaned heavily into your delicate touch.

“I don’t want to have these anymore,” he admitted quietly. “Nightmares.” He took a breath, opening his beautiful rich brown eyes and magnetising to yours. “They hurt.” The break in his voice had you surging into his arms, wrapping your own around his neck and burying your face into him. At first he hesitated, arms out to the side but he couldn’t resist the feel of you for long.

Gathering you to him he dragged you into the bunk, laying you across his body and holding you close and tight. He wanted to remember this, the scent of you, the way you felt over him; if he could imprint you onto his very skin, he would. Burying his fingers in your hair he sought your lips for comfort, something you were only too willing to provide.

The pain of this recurring nightmare made his face scrunch up with anguish, even now he could feel something in his mind that he didn’t want. Not even you could erase the damage it was causing.

He took what he could from you, kissing you until your lips were swollen, until his fingertips couldn’t bury anymore into your robes. He wanted more, so much more but not here.

“Don’t stop on my account,” Hunter muttered in the dark, making you both freeze.

“Oh, great,” Crosshair sighed, his hands falling away from you.

“Fine,” you retorted. “We won’t.” To Crosshair’s surprise you settled beside him in the bunk and he turned onto his side so he could look at you.

He let you trace his tattoo, enjoying the way your fingers felt against his skin and he actually began to relax. Exhaling softly when your touch drifted over his cheek and across his lips. You were beautiful in every sense of the word and he couldn’t believe you were here, with him.

He copied you. Letting his own fingers trace patterns on your skin, brushing strands of hair away and ghosting over the perfect slope of your nose. He marvelled at the expression change on your features, the way your eyes fluttered closed and you snuggled closer to him. He threw an arm over you, bringing you even closer.

Change was coming and it was going to be catastrophic.

[that-weird-skeleton-bastard]

✨Cult of the lamb incorrect quotes✨ (bishops edition) (and lambert is there too)

Leshy: Accidentally indulged in too much ‘free time’, turns out I’ve been reported missing for over six months and presumed dead by most local and national authorities.

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*While the Squad is in a battle* Shamura, trying to warn about the location of an enemy: To the left! Leshy: Take it back now y'all!

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Heket: What did you get on your shirt? Lambert: Rust. Heket: From what? Lambert: Weapons. Kallamar: Time for more adult supervision.

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Lambert: Man, I’m gonna get fat if you keep feeding me all these chips and junk! Narinder: I’M NOT! I was eating them and you took them. Lambert: You said I should try some! Narinder: I said they were good. Lambert: That’s not how I heard it.

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Heket: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the things you lost throughout your life. Kallamar: It would be nice to have my sense of purpose back... Lambert: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this. Leshy: My will to live! I haven't seen this in years. Shamura: I knew I lost that potential somewhere. Narinder: Mental stability, my old friend! Heket: Jesus, could you guys lighten up a little?

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Leshy: *walking around disappointed after visiting an aquarium* Kallamar: Leshy, what did you think a tiger shark was?

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Leshy: Do you ever feel like exploding? Have you experienced the urge to enter the process of combustion? Has your mind created a logical idea, known as thought, to disperse your body into thousands of particles suddenly? Heket: It’s 3 am, please go back to sleep.

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Lambert, handing a balloon to Narinder: I have no soul. Have a good day! Narinder, walking off: I don't have one either.

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Leshy: Wasn't icarly that guy that girlbossed too close to the sun because he was down for Apollo? Shamura: ICARUS?

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Narinder: I typed "bitch" into my GPS and guess what? I'm in your driveway. Heket: Narinder: Vroom vroom, come out already.

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Heket: How are you gonna carve a gigantic pumpkin? Narinder: The same way I make onion rings! Narinder: *grabs a chainsaw*

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Leshy: You were stabbed. Do you remember anything? Heket: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital. Leshy: That wasn't an ambulance, I drove you. Heket: But I heard a siren. Narinder: That was Kallamar. Kallamar: Sorry, I got nervous.

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Heket: So uh, for this party and everything, do you, uh... Kallamar, sighing: You don't know how to dress for this, do you? Heket, panicked: WHAT IS CLOTHES???

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Narinder: I committed all 7 deadly sins in 30 minutes. Kallamar: Wow, I've gotta hear this. Narinder: I was angry and envious of my neighbor so I lazily seduced his wife and ate all his groceries and didn't share. Kallamar: You forgot pride. Narinder: No, I'm pretty proud of this.

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Shamura: Show me Pennsylvania. Leshy: I don’t know Canadian geography.

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Shamura: For self defense reasons, I'm going to pretend to be a burglar and you guys have to act wisely. Lambert, Narinder, & Leshy: Okay. Shamura: If you don't want to die, give me all your money. Lambert: Bold of you to assume I have money. Kallamar: Bold of you to assume I don't want to die. Narinder: Bold of you to assume I can die.

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Narinder: I’m afraid of clowns. There, I said it. Shamura: Narinder, if you don't like clowns, why are you hanging with Lambert?

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Lambert: Narinder- Narinder: *sighs* Shamura used to call me Narinder... Lambert: ...Because it's your fucking name.

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Narinder, holding out a cookie for Lambert: Look! This ones a heart, that’s how I feel about you! Lambert: *Ugly crying* Narinder, holding out another cookie for Leshy: This ones like Michigan, that’s how I feel about you! Leshy, throwing their hands in the air: What does that mean?!

🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤

[gender-not-found-404-ao3]

Hello everyone on the WTTTbur :}

It is my ✨ day of birth ✨ today, so I got the Tism™️ running full speed in here and I'm gonna project onto my blorbos once again.

Headcanon hours let's gOOOO - Birthday edition!

Florida LOVES to celebrate his birthday and goes all in. You name it, he has it. A good barbeque, a crazy evening in the beach and a full night of non-stop party on Miami and every single club he's allowed in. His birthday is celebrated for 3 days straight and he has to take a week off after it happens cause the poor man didn't measure his own capabilities again.

California is a 50/50. If he has a party, he's going all in and he's not leaving anything or anyone out, the world must SEE and KNOW it's HIS birthday, all eyes need to be on him...

or he just disappears inside his state where not even Gov can reach out to him to celebrate in private. It depends on whether or not he feels the need to actually celebrate it.

Utah normally celebrates in private first with his wife and his kids, and enjoys spending the evening with them and doing family bonding activities (For reasons Utah isn't about to share, UNO and Monopoly are no longer allowed to be played in his birthday.) When he comes back to the Statehouse, Arizona, NM, Colorado and Nevada all gather together and make him a little party to celebrate with him too.

Most of the South and Midwest celebrate by doing a barbeque at their places and getting drunk, exploding fireworks and stuff like that. Some loose bullets too, for the heck of it.

Because I can't make something without angst, Gov doesn't even celebrate his birthday anymore. He looks at the clock, and the old calendar that has the date circled in red, and sighs as he steps up and walks away from his office chair for one second and takes a little sip from his (now) cold coffee.

"Celebration, I guess..."

... And he goes back to work again.

(If you wanna make it less angsty, pretend Gov is dragged away by Penn and IDC and he's given a very small celebration with the two of them. With his safe foods and all. Pretend. :} )

[suuushirolled]

Dude, respectfully, your art and your persona are so good looking, respectfully 🙏🏻✨‼️💥 I'm studying your colors !1!2!2!2!! And also saluting you as a fellow OC-poster/maker (?) like YES WE LOVE THAT 🤝🌟

AAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! I'M GONNA FUGCIKHN EXPLODE! THANK YOU SO MUCH WHAT THE!!! AAAAH!!!

[starsomens]

hey girl do you have twitter? I'm reading absurd rumors that because some of ✨silly us✨ made fun of Noah and Folio deactivating accounts, Bad Omens will end like the most absurd thing: the people spreading this are people who likes them ???? wtf is happening the world really has gone mad??? why wHY throw this out into the universe why we can't just admire and love them and their music in peaceeee

I don’t have or use twitter 😭 I have seen on insta that Both are gone at first was like awh 😔

but then I was like eh doesn’t rlly effect me, may benefit them, and doesn’t effect the music so i don’t rlly have a reaction to it you know

I think people are reading into it a little too much and maybe they just wanted to get off social media…it’s not rlly that big of a deal now say if the official band page is gone then that might cause some concern

And as far as on here and people ik we have not been making fun of them for it (???) because honestly (and this not towards you anon) who the fuck??? 😭 calm down it ain’t the end of the world, their socials are gone, oh well the world ain’t gonna explode

I just wanna enjoy their music 🥹 I’m in my lil world over here writing but now that you mention it that might also be why my inbox has been quiet lately

And anyone who’s on tumblr just to be like “iTs yOuR fAuLt tHeY leFt “ first off…No.

Second off Noah CLEARLY states why he didn’t feel comfortable using socials in the latest magazine interview 😭 people were going on his relatives Facebook pages and if finding pictures of him when he was kid and he felt uncomfortable about it.

So all I’m saying in my defense and all the people here minding their business just writing lil stories, it’s not us.

It really is NOT us. Ultimately it’s is UP TO THEM WHAT THEY WANNA DO WITH THEIR LIVES AND SOCIAL MEDIA !!!!

[theflyingfeeling]

Helloooo 👋🏻💖

Yesterday I stumbled upon this video from Särkänniemi where they were given the gold record and just… take a look 🥰

I’ve talked about this exact moment before but look at their faces!! 🥺💞 (sorry Niko but ignoring the fact that you are there)

and the mirroring you mentioned instantly reminded me of this:

I’m pretty sure I’ve gifed this moment from another angle before but oh well (Allu just HAD TO touch Olli 🤧💞)

and here’s a bonus! look at Allu panicking a little or looking like he had a moment of realization when Olli put his hand there 🤧 (and look at the hand oh my god)

(I hope my writing makes sense 🤧 my head feels like it’s gonna explode and it’s so hard to think 😔)

hiiiii 🥰💖 aaaaaaaaaaaa I'm squealing here, look at them being so touchy and clingy and in love aaaaaaaaa I cannot take it anymore 🥺😭💞 they just can't stay apart, and even when there's someone standing literally in between them they STILL manage to be like that, just ???!!?!?!?! they love each other so so much and there's absolutely nothing you can do to change my mind about it 😭

so my headcanon for them being like this in Särkänniemi in particular is that they had ✨ a moment ✨ just before getting on stage: a lingering touch, an almost kiss or something like that, but it was left more or less unresolved because it was showtime, and all these small, subtle (=not at all subtle) touches were in fact requests for reassurance, because they just needed to know if the other feels the same and they absolutely couldn’t wait until after the show 💕 (I mean, by the time they were given the gold records, they were almost finished and could no longer keep their hands off each other, and immediately when they were off the stage, one pushed the other against a wall and finally got that kiss they were denied earlier 🥰)