#i'm never recovering from this. i need another shiny. i can't do this

[t4tbedehopmar]

NO.

[freesia-writes]

Howzer + Aurelia Ch. 23. Passion and Perspective

Even as a cocky young shiny, there were a few people who saw the integrity and depth beneath Howzer's facade. Aurelia was one of them, but life tore them apart. However, when they found themselves reunited on Ryloth, with drastically different circumstances, they have to learn anew how to navigate a changing world and their undeniable feelings for one another.

Master List of Chapters

Content/Trigger Warnings for Entire Work (individual chapter posts not labeled): wartime peril, injury, and death (chapters 12-14); pregnancy, birthing trauma, and infant loss (chapters 31-38); sexual assault up to kissing (chapter 19); relationship passion up to making out and heavy petting; sexual relationship alluded to but not described (no smut, sorry) ;)

Word Count: 3.1k

23. Passion and Perspective

"I agree with you, Gobi! We are on the same team! But you have seen the ruthlessness of the Empire, and we have to weigh the risks versus the rewards!" Cham said vehemently, feeling his temperature rising. 

"If we do not make a clear statement, the Imperial presence here will continue to grow. They must be stopped before they become too powerful!" Gobi responded, baring his teeth in frustration. 

"They are already too powerful; direct resistance is only going to cause more needless death. Can't you see that? From what's happened already?" Cham sighed, rubbing his knobby forehead in his hands. "We have to consider the best tactics for the long run."

"The longer we wait, the longer we go back and forth in weak-minded indecision, the deeper their roots grow here. You should have never let the Republic settle in."

"You seem to forget that they helped us recover Lessu, as well as a variety of other villages, and also helped us to rid our planet of the Separatists, at great cost to their own!" 

"And then they got quite comfortable and changed into the Empire overnight!" Gobi spat, pacing back and forth. The meeting room was cramped already, but the overbearing presence of two passionate Twi'lek males in conflict made it feel infinitesimally small. Howzer stood in the corner, helmet at his hip, mouth firmly shut in patient respect. He was no stranger to these sorts of "discussions", but the frequency and intensity had grown as of late. 

"Listen, brother," Cham began again, quieter now in a tone that extended a diplomatic olive branch, "I will continue to fight for a free Ryloth as long as I live. We are stronger when we are unified. Let's not be broken apart by strategic differences."

"You are the one refusing to do what's needed," Gobi answered, disappointment and sadness in his voice. "Let us hope the desire for peace does not come at the cost of our freedom." And with that, he exited the room, accompanied by a glowering female accomplice. Cham let out a heavy sigh, rubbing his temples. Eleni approached from the shadows, placing a gentle hand on his arm. 

"You are doing the right thing, my love," she said softly, taking his hands in hers and pressing her forehead to his. "You carry the weight of the planet on your shoulders." The tenderness and intimacy in her words and touch made Howzer feel a sense of yearning that surprised him in its potency. 

"I don't know what I'm doing anymore," Cham confessed, closing his eyes and nestling closer. "It was so much simpler when we could just be warriors. Now I must be a diplomat as well, and it seems that no one is able to be satisfied."

"You can't make everyone happy," Eleni pointed out, pulling back to look him in the eye. "But you can continue to fight for the freedom of our people." She traced a hand up his arm, bringing it to rest on his shoulder, and tilted her head to lean in for a kiss. Howzer looked away, still noticing Cham's shoulders relax out of the corner of his eye. They separated, and Eleni leaned toward his ear, whispering none too quietly, "Besides, you make me happy, if that counts for anything."

Cham smiled, observing her with unmistakable adoration. "I don't deserve you, my love," he said in a stronger voice, "Hera doesn't know what an incredible mother she has." The two touched foreheads once again, enjoying a quiet moment once again, before heading for the door, with a helmeted Howzer trailing behind. 

* * * 

The evening found Howzer and Aurelia relaxing in the same way they had for the last number of weeks since she had begun her medic job. The barracks were bare-bones as far as comfort, so Aurelia's apartment became their place of rest and connection. They'd venture out into nature on a regular basis, as the weather allowed, walking and talking together, but when the duties of life began to weigh heavily, simple evenings wrapped up together on her couch, watching the sky grow dark, were the pastime of choice. 

Howzer had been relatively restrained in his affection -- such a drastic contrast to the playboy persona he had put forward in his youth. It seemed that war had shaped him in such a way that choices were made slowly and carefully, although once his intentions were set, he was invested wholeheartedly. Aurelia considered it an incredible honor to be let into his heart over the last few months, and his steady presence had become a foundational aspect of her life. She was grateful for his faithful affection and protective provision, and she was also hopelessly lost in an all-encompassing sense of infatuation. 

It was one of the cooler months on Ryloth, and the sun spent less time in the sky each day. Night fell earlier and earlier, bringing with it a distinct chill, and Aurelia freed herself from Howzer's warm embrace to fetch the large, fluffy blanket from her bedroom. Bundling it in her arms, she returned to the couch, which had been moved right up against the transparisteel wall of her apartment, where they could watch the stars and speeders cross the sky and talk about the world. Finding Howzer on his feet, she made a mock pouty face. 

"Are you heading back already? It's a bit early, no?" she said, heart skipping a beat at the calm, slightly crooked smile on his face. 

"No... I just had a few things on my mind," he answered, clasping and unclasping his hands together. 

"Oh, going to make a speech, are you?" came the playful reply, but Aurelia's bubbly mood was quickly toned down by the seriousness on his face. He stepped closer, taking the blanket from her hands and putting it on the couch before standing straight in front of her. He took her hands in his own, gazing intently into her eyes. The tenderness between Cham and Eleni was fresh in his mind from earlier that day, and he was finally finding words that had been simmering under the surface for a long time.

"I've been thinking," Howzer began, brushing her knuckles with his thumbs. "We have one life in this galaxy... and mine is even shorter than most. All my life, I've wanted to make an impact, and I thought it would be in some big, monumental way. But sometimes I wonder if a mundane life of goodness can be just as impactful. Sprint always used to tell me that it wasn't about the power or esteem, it was just about doing the right thing... Anyway," he paused, brow furrowing with effortful thought, "That's not really... I mean..." 

His flustered vulnerability was irresistible, and Aurelia released one of his hands to lift hers to his cheek, stroking it gently, which drew his eyes back to hers from their searching on the floor. 

"I want to show you how I feel about you," he attempted, "Our time together over the last year or so has been an incredible gift. It's not something I ever want to toss aside or take lightly. I've been trying to figure out how to communicate that to you."

A shiver ran up her spine as Aurelia pondered his words. This was music to her ears, no doubt, as she had greatly enjoyed the snuggling and kisses of the last few months, but she also couldn't deny she had a deep yearning for more. Whether for lack of words or for the defense mechanism of turning to humor in heavy situations, she gave him a playful smirk. 

"I can think of a few ways," she said suggestively, accompanying it with a wink to keep the mood light. 

"Heh, I think you already showed your hand there," he chuckled, "Although you've been remarkably restrained, if you've been dying to push me up against a wall since that night with Gowden..."

"Ugh, don't say his name," Aurelia grimaced, shaking her head to rid the room of the mere thought of him. 

"Right, sorry... Anyway..." Howzer continued quickly, tilting his head. "I don't really get to enjoy the same sort of life that you do, but with what freedom I do have..." he paused again, taking a deep breath. His honey brown eyes were pools of emotion, outlined by his sharp eyebrows. "I hope this doesn't scare you off, but... I'd like to spend the life I do have... with you."

Aurelia found herself shocked at the sheer number of thoughts that could occupy her mind at the same time. Did clones get married? Was that a proposal? Was she reading into it? Was there a question there? Was it too fast, or too much? Or was it something that set her heart on fire at the deepest level and invited her to dive in with her whole being? She opened her mouth, then closed it, swallowing hard. Her eyes darted out the window, looking for answers in the stars.

"Shoot," he began, clenching his teeth in a self-conscious look of embarrassment. "I apologize. I'm not quite sure what I even--"

"No, wait," she interjected, taking a step closer, "It means the world to me." She cupped his face with both hands now, leaning in a bit and feeling a spark in her chest at the sound of his breath catching in his throat. "And I feel the same. I've been hopelessly under your spell since you swaggered into 79s, apparently no matter how many dumb things you did," she laughed, feeling his cheeks curve under her hands. "But the person you've become... who you always have been, inside... is beautiful. And I can't envision any part of life being better without you in it."

He let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding as she leaned in to kiss him, gently at first, then with more intensity and depth. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close against his armor, head exploding with fireworks. When they separated, lips reddened and faces flushed, she let out a theatrical shiver, beaming up at him again. 

"Was there a question in all of that, though?" Aurelia asked, feeling hopeful beyond belief all of a sudden.

"No," Howzer said, smiling knowingly, "Just wanted to see where we stood..."

"Ah," she said quietly, unable to deny the slight feeling of disappointment. She forced herself to think of the sweetness and vulnerability in his admission, settling to be content with that for now. 

"But I did have something else to run by you," he continued, releasing her from his embrace and taking a few steps back. "You can stop me at any point if you wish." 

Without waiting for an answer, and without breaking eye contact, he pulled his gloves off one by one, dropping them to the floor. He unstrapped the teal pauldron, pulling the straps from around his chest and under his arms, then released the shoulder bells from their connections to his breastplate, sliding them and the entire arm pieces down and off the ends of his hands. They hit the ground, and Aurelia's heart did a flip. She understood what it meant to him, how he was more comfortable in his armor than without it, and she found her mouth going dry.

The chest plate was lifted up over his head, and he looked down, as if assessing his own half-blacks and half-armored form, then returned his eyes to hers, a smoldering intensity in his gaze that could have melted Hoth. Slowly pushing one boot off with his other foot, then the same on the other side, he unclasped the utility belt and pushed the entire bottom half of armor down in one smooth motion, lifting his legs out of it all as it collapsed in a jumbled plastoid pile on the floor. Standing back up, he ran a hand through his hair, which had scattered across his forehead, and self-consciously pulled his black base layer free of anywhere it had bunched up, raising his chin to meet her gaze with an incomprehensible blend of sheepishness and confidence. 

He looked smaller, without all the extra bulk of armor, and incredibly vulnerable. But his blacks were intoxicatingly form-fitted, allowing her to see the chiseled outline of his soldier body. She allowed her eyes to roam from the curve of his shoulders along the swell of his biceps, down to his waist where his fingers were nervously entwined with one another. Realizing yet again that her mouth had fallen open, she fought to keep a straight head in spite of the unrelenting tingles shooting throughout her entire body. 

"I can't think of anything to say," she confessed, completely and utterly dumbfounded. She'd imagined him without his armor for so long, and yet hadn't ever actually thought about what she would do if he ever did remove it. He took a few steps closer to close the distance between them, and she could feel the warmth radiating off of him. His scent filled her nose, making her dizzy, and she closed her eyes for a moment. 

"You don't need to say anything," he said, moving to place his hands on her waist, and the unexpected huskiness of his voice sent her over the edge. She put her hands on his arms, forcefully turning him around and pushing him backward toward the wall. He flattened against it with a clumsy thump, face shifting quickly from a flash of surprise to a darker, knowing smirk that gave her another boost of confidence. 

Moving her hands to his chest, she reveled in the touch of his actual self, with nothing but a thin layer of fabric between them instead of chunky armor. Splaying her palms across his pecs and collarbone, she stretched up to kiss him on the mouth, urgently and intently this time. He wrapped one arm around her waist, flexing tightly, and swept the other up her back, cupping her shoulder. Their lips met again and again, mouths opening more, and his tongue tentatively traced her upper lip before gently meeting hers with sparks that exploded in her chest. She was completely adrift in her senses, savoring the touch and taste and smell of him, and he was equally lost in her, set on fire at the novel sensation of another body pressed against his own. 

Her hands roamed from his chest down his sides, gripping his hips for a moment before pushing around to the back, flattening across the arch of his spine. Tearing her mouth away from his with a small gasp for air, she opened her eyes for a second, finding his, thrilling at the desire she saw in their chocolate-colored depths. She brought one hand up, gently peeling down the turtleneck top of his base layer to expose the rest of his neck. Her fingertips sent a jolt of electricity down his back, and his whole body felt electrified when she lowered her lips to just below his ear. His heart was racing so quickly, he felt as though he might collapse, and his hands grasped at her back and shoulders more for support than for anything else. She kissed a trail from his jaw to his collarbone, earning an involuntary shudder as he tilted his head toward the opposite shoulder, eyes closed in blissful abandon. 

"You can't do this to me," he whispered breathlessly as she lifted her head to bring her face to his once again. His eyes were firmly shut, eyebrows contorted, and she relished the effect she was having on him. He deserved it, after all the butterflies he had given her over the years, and she wasn't going to let him off the hook. Not to mention the undeniable yearning that had been growing in her chest for months now. 

"Say the word and I'll stop," she purred against his mouth, gently moving her head back and forth to trace her lips across his own with a teasingly featherlight precision. One of his feet slipped out from underneath him slightly, causing them both to jerk in surprise as he dropped a few inches before catching his balance. They both laughed in relief, taking a moment to disentangle themselves and regain a full footing on both feet. Howzer took a deep, shaky breath, running both hands through his hair and leaving them to rest on top of his head, looking at the ceiling as though he'd seen a Nightsister. Placing one last pert little kiss on the scar on his chin, Aurelia flounced off toward the couch, grabbing the blanket that was no longer needed at all, flushed with heat as she was, and flopped onto the cushions with a satisfied huff, face and arm dangling off the side. 

Howzer dropped his arms slowly, approaching the furniture precariously as though it might bite, and in one agile movement, climbed over her to wedge himself in between her and the back of the couch. He stretched out, wrapping an arm around her waist, and she quickly rolled to face him, nestling into his neck and chest and tucking her bottom arm between them. He lifted his top leg, and she nudged her own leg in between his, feeling as snug as she could imagine as he rested his leg on top. Snaking her top arm under his to drape it across his back, she let out a deep sigh of contentment. Their bodies fit together like puzzle pieces, and he rested his cheek against the top of her head, heart still racing.

"Was it everything you dreamed it would be?" he asked, and she smiled at the sound of his voice coming from both his mouth and his chest, right against her ear. 

"Was? I'm not done with you yet," she said playfully, giving him a little squeeze. "Just don't want you passing out on me."

"Ohhh," he breathed, attempting to sound mischievous but the slight crack in his voice betrayed his actual discomposure. "They didn't prepare us for this on Kamino, you know."

"I thought they taught you everything on Kamino. Didn't you offer to show me the world or something like that?" Aurelia poked, trying to remember his exact brag so long ago. 

"I'm a fraud," Howzer exhaled, "You know that more than anyone."

"I don't think so," she returned, pulling her head back to see his handsome face, "But I'll give you a break to recover."

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

I HAVE TO ADD THIS FRICKIN SEXY FANART BY @tenderspell... and this is one of my favorite scenes so it has to go here. ;)

*excuse me while I go fan myself*

Feel free to tag a friend who loves Howzer or comment to be added to the tag list! <3

@mary-on-the-contrary @doublesunsets @523rdrebel

[geekpoet]

Lenora (short story WIP)

Lenora slid the order slip up on the turnstyle at the kitchen window and dinged the bell as she spun it round to face Earl. He took his time lumbering over from the sink. That's one of the things she loved about the burly ex-marine. It didn't matter how packed or empty the diner was, he had one speed and it was never a hurry. She'd asked him once, annoyed after fielding a few complaints, to "put a move on". He had just shrugged and said, in his slow drawl loud enough for the dining room to hear, "if someone ain't happy there's a Mickey-dee's down the road." 

To her surprise, no one had left, and no one complained for the rest of the night. 

She had felt bad and, after closing up, tried to apologize. He had just waved her off and said that most folks need to complain about something to feel alive. 

He plucked the order and mouthed it silently as he read. She wondered if he was as serene before serving in the Gulf War, or if he'd adopted it as part of recovering from it. PTSD, one of the locals confided on her first night, with gentle advice to "give Earl space" when he needed it. She guessed that was another part of what she loved about him: that sense of brokenness healing. She suspected he took a chance on giving her the open waitress spot for the same reason. That, and maybe an innocent crush, she wasn't sure. 

Earl looked up, past her, and nodded towards the front. "That's the cop asking 'bout you." 

Her throat tightened as she turned, a reflex action more than actual worry, but Earl's non-judgmental tone didn't escape her notice, bless his soul. She saw a slightly soft-bellied man in his early fifties crossing the street. He wasn't dressed like a cop--jeans and a cheap oversized blazer--and he wasn't walking with any real urgency. But, she'd dealt with enough lawmen to recognize the gait, the furtive summing up of a scene. It didn't matter if it was suburbs of Atlanta, downtown Los Angeles, or this small town, they all gave off I'm a cop vibe. His glances checked the alley to the left and scanned the dining room through the window. He was good, though. Despite obviously clocking her at the counter, he didn't stare or make it obvious. 

"Taking five, I guess," she said as she untied her apron and stuffed it under the counter. 

As she strode across to greet him at the door, she heard Earl's, "holla if ya need." 

Lenora believed in confronting drama head on. Twenty-two years of life experience taught her that running did no good, unless it was running for your life, of course. As the cop opened the door, she slid two cups and a coffee pot onto the first booth's table and motioned him to sit. 

His voice was gravelly with an east-coast accent when he spoke. "I guess news does travel fast around here." 

"Only thing faster is herpes," she replied, pouring herself a cup but pointedly leaving his empty. He sat and watched for a moment as she warmed her hands on the coffee mug. Probably trying to use silence to intimidate her, she figured. She just stared back at him as she took a sip. 

"Well, obviously you know I've been asking about you, Miss Langston--" 

"Lenora will do." 

"--Lenora. I'm detective Frank DiAngelo, Darbyville PD." 

"I didn't realize Darbyville could afford a detective, let alone a whole police department." 

Frank smiled. It seemed genuine. "They really can't. But, I was looking for a change of scenery so..." 

Lenora felt a familiar icy chill go down her spine and a pinprick of pain in her left temple. She fought the urge to shudder and mentally cursed. Now is not the time. Fortunately, her pills were tucked in her pocket, if it got worse. 

Before she opened her mouth, a scene unfolded in her head: It was night. Humid. The sticky kind that enveloped and tried to smother you. The detective was in uniform, dark blue, a shiny brass badge, darker red staining his sleeves and streaking his legs, as if he'd tried to catch a water balloon of blood. He was a little less gray-haired, but this wasn't that long ago, maybe a few years. A lot of tall buildings around. A lot of police cars. Trenton, NJ the side of one read. An ambulance was flashing red and white. Frank's face was flushed, his eyes hard, the whites flashing red with the siren. A black sheet was being lowered again over the face of a teenage girl on a gurney. Pretty, she thought. In a goth way. Frank was shaking his head. She could feel blame radiating off him. Raw, unfettered rage burning as he glared across the lawn at another man standing on a porch. A woman sobbed on the man's shoulder while Frank's finger itched to touch his sidearm, restraint just barely winning out as the man glared back. Restraint, and guilt? That was directed inward, she felt. Frank had chosen to not do something. To not intervene when he knew he should. He was certain the girl would still be alive if only he'd been...braver. 

Behind the man, just inside the house, a shadow passed by and Lenora's heart skipped a beat. There was something familiar about it... 

Lenora shook her head, her left hand reaching for the pills as her right pressed her temple. She willed the imagery to stop. That was different, she thought. It came on like one of her nightmares, but felt more like a memory that wasn't hers. She noticed Frank was staring at her, a concerned look on his face. It made him look less cop-ish and more fatherly. She found herself hating him for that. 

"Headaches," she growled. "They come and go. As you can see," she looked towards the dinning room with only one patron, old lady Simmons sipping her regular Wednesday barley soup in the corner booth, "its just so busy here." 

"Yes," he said hesitantly. "If it's ok, I'd like to ask you as few questions." 

"Got a warrant?" 

"No, not those sorts of questions, ma'am." 

"So, this is a social call? I can get up whenever I want?" She shook out a pill, not bothering to be discrete, and not caring that he squinted at the label. She couldn't shake his sense of guilt from what she saw. Now that she was aware of it, it draped around the detective, clung to him like a second skin. 

Frank glanced to the coffee pot, then poured himself a small amount. "Anytime you want. Not a social call per-se, but I'm kind of stuck with something and I think you can help." 

She took the pill with coffee, then fished her cigarette pack and lighter out of her other pocket. "Can't say a cop has ever just sat and had coffee with me before, asking for help." 

"No," Frank said, "I don't imagine you have." 

"Ah, good for you," she snapped, tapping out a cigarette, and lit it. "You've done a lot of homework for not-a-social-call-per-se." 

"Not really," Frank sighed. "Mostly sealed juvie stuff. And an assualt that sounds like he deserved it." 

She wondered why he didn't mention the hospitals. Maybe he was being kind? 

"I don't think you can smoke in here," he said. 

"Earl doesn't mind," she smiled, then asked louder, "Do you Earl?" 

Earl yelled a "Nope, go ahead," from the kitchen. 

Frank looked around, then back to Lenora. "I think its a state law thing." 

Lenora shrugged, taking a puff. "Then arrest me, pops." She didn't know where the pops came from, it wasn't her thing to say. But, it seemed to bother him slightly when she said it, so she smiled sweetly. 

Frank blinked both eyes, which reminded her of a computer resetting, then reached into his pocket and pulled out a newspaper. He unfolded it, slid it across the table, pointed to the headline Darbyville Man Dead After Hotel Incident, Foul Play Suspected, and asked, "You hear about this?" 

Lenora flicked ashes onto a saucer. "Like you said, news travels fast. Doubt anyone's not heard of it. Not like there's much 'foul play' around these parts." 

The detective was watching her, detecting, looking for some signal of...something. Her temple pulsed again, a moderate pain. She resisted rubbing it and just stared back, impatiently. 

"I was wondering. I mean," he paused. He seemed genuinely timid to ask. "If you might know anything?" A slight emphasis on "know". 

Lenora considered the question. This was usually when a cop was fishing for contacts or implying she knew more than she'd said. But, if he'd obviously looked into her and had to know she hadn't been to Darbyville in months. 

"So," she said, "like, am I dating the killer and just dying to tell you? Overheard someone bragging while slurping down the Sunday chili special and didn't think it worth calling the boys in blue?" 

Leaning forward and, in nearly a whisper, Frank said, "Or maybe, seen something?" 

Lenora laughed, then the headache pulsed again. Frank reached a hand out as she grabbed her head, but she swatted it away and shook out another pill. This wasn't right. They never happened liked this, so quickly and in succession. Something about the detective bothered her. Was he doing this? 

Suddenly, she remembered part of a nightmare last month. The window was dark, moonlight sparkling off the raindrops hitting the glass. Blackout curtains were drawn and only a sliver of light creeped from the edges. A shadow passed once, and the curtain parted. A man stood, looking down. She followed his gaze to where...she shook her head. All that blood...All that screaming...It'd been more violent than usual. That poor boy. Like something playing with its meal. She shuddered and looked up. The man was staring at her. No one ever stared at her in these dreams. She always seemed invisible, unable to intervene, a whisp people passed through. Startled, she turned and woke up. 

Lenora skimmed the article, then looked at Frank, her eyes wide. It can't be, she thought. It was just a dream. Frank noticed the recognition and nodded slowly, once. She dry-swallowed the second pill as thunder rolled across her head. "Who the fuck are you?" she said louder than she meant. 

Frank blinked, startled. 

Lenora closed her eyes and breathed, willed the pain to subside and her heartbeat to steady. It rarely worked, but the counting itself was relaxing. She opened her eyes and felt a scream start in the bottom of her throat and lodge itself. She swallowed it down. Next to Frank, standing over his right shoulder staring directly at him was a girl in her late teens. No, not a girl. The girl. The one she saw the black sheet being draped over. She was as solid as anyone, although the light didn't fall on her quite right. It was as if she was being illuminated from a different source than the diner's cheap flourescents. 

Frank didn't notice the girl, but he glanced over his shoulder following Lenora's stare, then back with a quizzical expression. That was when the girl turned and looked directly at her with dark, sad eyes and a frown almost comically pouty. Her lips moved, but Lenora couldn't hear anything. She felt sadness and frustration from her. As the girl kept silently talking, a still image from what she'd just seen of the man on the porch flashed in her mind, zoomed in to the shadow in the house. Then the image shifted to a close-up of Frank's hands, still stained from hastily wiping off blood. 

"Go the fuck away!" Lenora yelled. 

The girl was gone. No poof. No fading away. Just nothing, leaving Frank staring at Lenora with a mixture of confusion and concern. 

Her head throbbed and everything strobed white. She must've moaned, because now Frank was standing, his arms awkwardly wondering what to do. 

She felt Earl's hands suddenly on her shoulders. Heard his voice in a low growl say, "That's the door, Jersey. 'Less you got a warrant, I suggest you use it." God bless Earl, she thought. But, I wasn't yelling at him. 

The pain was unbearable now. She pushed past both men, the diner pulsing with her head as she made her way towards the bathroom. She was halfway past the bar seating when everything faded and four arms seemed to carry her softly down into darkness. 

[xeo-kunsatan]

Dissatisfied One shot +14 (Part 2)

Warning

This story contains sexual themes, gore, Domestic abuse themes, Suicide, cigarettes use, bad words and prostitution references. If you are sensitive or underage please don't read this story.

8:00 pm

???: Son.. Son!

Bradley: Father?...

It was one of my father's camera larvae.

Betrayus: can you please come?

Bradley: what's wrong Dad?

Betrayus; We need to talk...

Bradley:.. uh?.. okay.

I escaped from round house as i used to do while Quartzy was following me and keeping me safe to go to the labyrinth and then go through a portal to the netherworld.

Now there, My Father was waiting for me, his Expression was different, he seemed worried..

Betrayus: Son we need to talk...

Bradley: What's it Dad?..

Betrayus: I respect your privacy .. but with all respect.. you have nothing to do selling your body like this, You are still so young And this is absolutely not sexual freedom.

Bradley: I know...I can't avoid it..

Betrayus: first Bradley if you needed money or something, you most told me..

Bradley: But i Don't want to bother you...

Betrayus: *pets him* C'mon my shiny Ruby.. it's not a bother for me, i am your father and it's my duty to give you all you need.

Bradley: If i were death.. my life can be better here.

Betrayus: Honestly yes, but Bradley you have a life and all you can do is enyoi and experiment for more things, suffering is not just the only thing is you will have, more wonderful things would be waiting for you.. i am sure it would be.

Bradley: It's strange to hear you saying this.. even when you want to take over Pac world.

Betrayus: Well yes, but i want you to enjoy it before Id destroy it.

Bradley: Sounds reasonable.

Betrayus: Second and very important, what you are doing for your emptiness is wrong.

Bradley: I know.. i just can't avoid it.. I'm just trying to felt filled but not.. i really don't know what exactly i need to feel less pathetic that i already am.

Betrayus: Selling your body with people who treats you as shit will not fill your emptiness

Bradley: And then.. what the fuck you think i need!?

Betrayus; I don't think so.. Bradley what you need is love and support.. and you know what's another problem.. you already have love and support.. from me, your sister, the netherworld.. and not just the netherworld.. maybe it's incredible but you have it from your cousins, even when they tried to separate you from them and of course from your best friend and your dog, and believe me.. you have enough with it, it's just thing about having time for it.

Bradley: I didn't.. think about it.. I'm sorry Dad

Betrayus: So please Bradley, stop selling your body for Money nor even to make you feel filled, here you have all you need.

Bradley: Okay okay Dad, I will try..but hey a good side is that i have a better way to insult my classmates.

Betrayus: Ok you're a Goddam genius and all me, when i was from your age i used to sleep with others and the next day when they pretended to don't know me i used to make fun of them related with their bodies's features.

Bradley: *chuckles* you can't be serious

Betrayus: Really, It was so funny, even a good way to bother my awful brother.

Bradley: Okey

Betrayus: Remember son if you need something, you can tell and i can give it to you, like new clothing so you can have new clothes and not just your sister's clothing.

Bradley: It's not that bad that i inherited my sister's clothes, they are so cool and warm, she had a really good taste in dressing..

Betrayus: All from me and your mother

Bradley: By the way, where is she this time?

Betrayus: In Pacopolis scaring people with Blinky and Inky, both are having fun, also she took my champagne bottle.

Bradley:*chuckles* oh Man

Betrayus: That's my boy, i love to see you smile, so cheer up son.

Bradley:*sighs and hugs Betrayus* i love you Dad..

Betrayus: and i love you too my son, now go before Stratos founds out that you escaped from home.

Bradley: Alright Dad.

I left the netherworld, Quartzy was waiting for me to then walk together to our way to The round house.

During the way, i found out that Bryan, Lexy's boyfriend was laughing next to a girl while they were cuddling up, i didn't helped to feel mad by it and Quartzy was growling at it too.

Bradley: Hey Smallhead!

Bryan: Huh! Me!?

Erika: Eh?!?

Quartzy: Grrrghh...

Bradley: No.. i was talking with the stone behind you..

Bryan: Alright weirdo...

Erika: Ignore him, sweetie

Bradley: You don't catch the sarcasm, right?

Bryan: Now i see you better, Bradley or i mean..The Play-Bunny, you don't have a Dick to eat or something?

Quartzy: *thinks* "Don't make me bite you"..

Erika:*giggles*

Bradley: Didn't you had a Boyfriend to be loyal?

Erika: Wait what!? You have a Boyfriend?

Bryan: E-Eh!? No i can explain!

Lexy: Explain what!? About you cheated on me!!?

Bryan: Lexy!!? What are you doing here!?

Bradley: How did you found us?

Lexy: Biscocho have lost and me and my father are looking for him...and i heard all..

Erika: Eh!? Bryan you told me that you were straight!

Lexy: You told me that you would never disappoint me!

Bryan: I-I..

Bradley: You disgusted me from the start.. now i know i wasn't wrong..

Bryan: You awful slut! *Starts hitting Bradley*

Lexy: Brad!!

Quartzy: Grhhh!! *Bites Bryan in his leg*

Erika: *attacks Lexy* How dare you to take my man!?

Lexy:*stops her* It was my Boyfriend!

Bradley: *defending himself* I am not guilty about that you cheated on my friend!

Bryan: And you judge me? You are the one who is sleeping with all the boys in maze high

Bradley: At least i don't have a partner to be unloyal..

Bryan: Shut up!! *Throws Bradley against the wall, breaking one of Brad's Badges*

Quartzy: Ok.. so you choose to play dirty..

Bryan: What the-

Bradley's right fist temperature was getting higher without him noticing, he hitted Bryan's face burning his face in the process.

Bryan: AAAAAAAAARGH

Bradley: Holy shit.. your face..

Quartzy: :0..

Lexy: Qué?..

Erika: You monster!! I'm leaving!! I will call the police right now!.

Bryan: Aargh!! Please!! And call the ambulance!! My fucking face!

Mitzy: Oh no you don't..*pushes Erika to the road just in time when a car was passing by to then crash her* you're safe now.

Bryan; Erika!!

Lexy: a la puta madre [Holy Shit] A Talking doll!!?

Mitzy: Hehehe

Bradley: Mitzy what the fuck!!?

Quartzy: *thinks* what a chaos

Blinky: We saved you butt your majesty~

Inky: a "Thank you" would be nice.

Bryan: Ghosts!!! Ugh! It's not over yet!! *Leaves*

Bradley: Guys thank you so much, but Mitzy what the heck!?

Mitzy: Don't worry she would be fine~

Quartzy:*sniffs Erika's corpse* ...

Inky: Be careful your majesty, the cups would pass by

Lexy: Ok Bradley.. thank you for defending me and giving that jerk a lesson but.. *takes Bradley's Hand* Run!!

Bradley: I'll go!..

Quartzy: *follows them*

Lexy, Bradley and Quartzy quickly ran away to meet up with Martín.

Martin: Lexy, you came, i finally found Bizco-.. Bradley? What are you doing here?

Bradley:*panting* long... Story

Quartzy:*thinks* a really burning story...

Lexy: Bizcocho! *Hugs the big fat cat* Dad.. my boyfriend cheated on me.

Martín: He what!!??

Lexy: But don't worry, Bradley gave him a lesson, he deformed his face with a punch.

Quartzy: *thinks* Honestly he looks better with that new face hehehe

Bradley: My fist was in fire Lexy.. i don't know why..

Martín: I think i know, please give me your right hand.

Bradley: B-but.. what if i hurt you sir..

Martín: Dear, I'm a chef, i play and work with fire.

Bradley: if you say so...*gives Martín his hand, his palm was covered with tiny flames*

Martín: Bradley, You have powers.. and *shows him his badge of his same hand* your uncle and Grandmother have hided that from you for really long time.

Bradley: What!?.. what do you mean?

Martin:*takes off that badge from Bradley's right hand* do you know what is this?

Bradley: Uhh.. the Badge my grandmother wanted to not take it off, don't think i didn't had my suspicions about it.

Martín: I'm glad that you already suspect about it, this is a badge used for powered Pacworlders so they cannot have problems with their powers, mostly related with stress, some of this Badges used to be to force that, Pacworlders to hide their powers *turns on the badge again* this shit is easy to repair..

Bradley: Are you telling me that.. all this time i.... Oh no... Oh no...

Lexy: Bradley?...

Quartzy: *Thinks* Not again.. not this..

Bradley: Now it was sense... I finally know why my Grandmother and uncle treated me like that... Now i understand why did they used to separate me from my cousins... It has sense.. I'm an actual monster.

Quartzy:*cuddles with Bradley*.. Hmm *Thinks* No Bradley.. you are not a monster.. quit telling that.

Bradley:*takes his badge and puts on it* I'm sorry Mr Martín.. Lexy..

Lexy: Bradley.. no..

The Round house Limo have arrived

Stratos: There you are!, You will be punished by escaping from home!..

Bradley: ..sorry...

Lexy: No Bradley! Wait!!

Martín: With all respect Mr president you..

Stratos: Nope!..

Quartzy: Grrrghh!! *Attacks Stratos*

Stratos: Argh!!

One of the bodyguards shoots Quartzy to make her leave alone Stratos.

Bradley: Quartzy NO!!!

Bizcocho escapes scared by the shoot

Stratos and his bodyguards take Bradley to the Limo and drived away without.

Martin: Viejo conche su madre... [Bitch]

Lexy: *sees after Quartzy* Oww no.. Bradley...

Quartzy:*moves*

Lexy: Oh shit is alive!!

Martin: *takes off the dart* it's not an actual bullet.. it's a Dart

Quartzy: *thinks* Ok I'm a little unlucky with shootings.

Martín: what a relief she is alive *holds her* let's take care of her while she recovers.

Lexy: Oki Doki.

9:49 pm

Stratos have seended Bradley to the Round house jail as a punishment.

Stratos: You cross the line young man.. I told you million times to don't go outside in the night, anything you want to say?

Bradley: You killed Quartzy..

Stratos: don't avoid my question..

Bradley: You killed my dog..and you left her behind as a trash..

Stratos: I didn't killed her, my bodyguards actually shoot her with a pacifier Dart.

Bradley:*sighs*...

Stratos: You would be here all the night and the rest of the next day..*leaves*

Bradley:*sighs* If you already consider me as a monster.. i would give you a real monster *Takes off his right badge*...

His hand started burning again but not with more strength.

While that Betrayus have watched everything with full of rage.

Betrayus: My Son have finally discovered his powers and a part of the truth.. Dear brother you will pay for this.

[theodinsonsonmidgard]

Hold me Tight 2 - part 2-

Perhaps, as Thor said, it was true that those transparent waters had the power to cleanse your soul and make you think more clearly. Perhaps this is the power the Gods have given to the salt waters of Midgard. Thor and I enjoyed ourselves as I never remembered before. Perhaps only in our earliest childhood days, I remember a joy so pure in being together.

I swam with him, competing in speed with the white-crusted waves: we are young, we are strong, Sons of Odin, and we looked like the creators of Midgard came down to enjoy the beauties of that paradise. Sometimes I watched him swim, while I stopped to wash out the water dripping on my face from my hair. Thor, my wonderful brother. Thor, whom I feared having lost forever. Thor, please don't leave me behind ...

I wonder if I'm still your brother, at your eyes. Somewhere, in our past, a crack has opened up and is chasing us to swallow both of us once and for all. Even now.

It was my fault, Thor, I opened that crack, ... and I'll close it for both, i promise you. But don't let me go this time.

Then I couldn't think more because a dripping blond giant swept me away with a bear hug, and dragged me off with him, with a laugh, over the waves.

Dinner was roast meat of which my brother was very proud. As the air turned purple and the sun went down, I had already made my decision. No regrets. I felt strong, strangely euphoric. I wanted to hug him but I restrained myself. There would be time, i was sure of it.

The fire crackled placidly. The night air, which became almost pungent, didn't disturb me, on the contrary, it cooled my skin a little, and caressed my thoughts. Even the wind had changed its voice, its smell, ...no longer the scent of freedom, but something deeper, earthy, almost visceral. Perhaps due to the volcanic rocks and ungainly bushes of the hills above us. And he was there, beyond that bonfire ... with flaming reflections to sculpt his face, blonder than ever, an open smile.

Thor Odinson. 

My brother. Who spoke loudly, who told me stories, who laughed, ...and I listened to him, teased him, laughed with him, while another part of me, secretly, was looking for the guts to put into effect what I had decided earlier.

It had been a wonderful day. The first since Thor brought me back. Perhaps one of the rarest of my whole life. And I didn't want to ruin it with what I was going to do, but I decided to be ready. Or anyway I could try. I wanted to start trusting.

Ours had been a wretched and unhappy family, yet, whether I wanted it or not, I loved Thor. Desperately.

I had given my life for him.

Twice. The word 'brother' in my mind has the bright face of Thor. And I had decided to let him enter in a part of my life so private and hurtful that I've been hiding since years. That I know only myself.

I wanted to start trusting him. Showing him that I had changed, that I could stop protecting myself and flee. Although it would have required a lot of courage, since I should have ...

Thor was laughing at me and the fact that I was staring at the fire dance like an idiot. I roused myself, smiling.

'C'mon, you bastard ...'

"Thor, listen ..." I bit my lip, he noticed it this time, and softened his voice.

"Loki, what is it? Do you have migraine? Do you want us to go home?"

I chuckled to hide the tension: would you face the most terrible of storms, knowing you were naked as a worm? Totally defenseless? Because this was what I was going to do from now on ...

"No, I'm great,... no, listen ..."

'Look at him, Loki ...'

"Do you remember when we fought each other, during all those painful and absurd years? You've always accused me of being too quiet. You told me to keeping you at a distance, to rejecting you. Of never making you enter my thoughts, explain my feels... that I was the worse brother, ... no, wait, please. "  I smiled  "Please wait ..."

A deep breath. Burning air, cold and salted, rising up the nose, until it invades my chest.

 "So I decided that I can do it, a step towards you, brother, and try to break down this wall that keeps us in our pride. And that Surtur may devour me if I'm not trembling to the bone, damn you!"

 Silence. Wind and the liquid chant of the sea, black into black.

"Do you remember when ...when I ...I let it go? When I fell down, long time ago, ... when everything was shattered, me for first but nobody cared. Remember when I came back and everything was different, everything changed. Your gang of new pompous friends, Midgard, ... all the rest. I have very confused memories of those days, but I remember well when we met again, between heaven and earth. And we talked, or rather we spit on each one our hatred. I could have told you then, but you had other things on your mind and no intention of listening. Or maybe not, I wouldn't have told you a shit either." I giggled nervously.

I was wearing an half-buttoned old shirt, worn and light, of which I didn't care at all,...dark blue, shiny fabric. I undid the third button.

"I fell into the void, then, ... into nothingness. I wanted... to die, to finally find peace, to appease my pain. Instead I found a worse hell. Perhaps the worstest of all. And I implored death as the sweetest of salvations."

Gods, it's terrible to remember aloud. I can't believe you're next to me, listening all of this. For real.

"He took me. I don't know how he did it, but I found myself crawling at his feet in an alien and terrible world. He was thirsty for power. He had a plan. He wanted everything. He wanted the Gems and crush down the Worlds, and I could be useful to him. But first he had to crush down me."

I undid another shirt's buttonhole.

"I know you never understood much of what's on my mind, Thor, ...but it wasn't your fault. Not always, at least. And this thing ... maybe it was beyond both of us."

I undid the penultimate button.

"There was no more day, no more night. There was only cold, pain and fear. There were many of them. They surrounded me. They laughed at me. Call me names. But his shadow on the moldy marbles was enough to make them disappear, leaving me at his mercy... Did you ever wonder why I hate sudden gestures, or why unexpected noises make me uncomfortable when they don't terrify me? "

Here, the shirt was open.

"Have you ever wondered why I stiffen every time you touch me? ... I was afraid of the whip, but the worst was the fire. The fire was the craziest pain, and ... I lost consciousness. Almost always. That maniac knew how to use the whip well. Where to hit. How to hit. He whispered in my mind, ... no one will ever care about you, little monster, ... nobody wants you, they despise you, spit on your shadow of demon, you're been a burden for everyone, you will always be, but I can give you the power that... if only you... "

I swallowed again. The air started to become cold, too much cold, ...carried with it a vague hint of resin ...

'NO!!'

It has always been like this. Frost magic woke up every time I was upset, or if something infuriated me, and blew ice on everything around me. But it couldn't happen there, ... there, in the sea waves glossy of moonlight, and the holey rocks of the volcanoes.

'Loki, dominate yourself!! Not now, Loki, not here!!'

The blue shirt slid over my shoulders, then I pulled my arms off from sleeves. Here, Thor, ... take a step into my world, ... look at my miserable pain.

"It was ... it was pure hell, Thor. A hell made of blood, pain and fear in which I crawled for I don't know how long. I saw my blood, I felt it on me, it made me sick. Did you ever notice how sickening it is the smell of blood? ... With fire I went crazy. With the blades I saw death in the eyes, and had the purple skin of my killer, that son of a bitch. He wanted me crushed, and he crushed me. He wanted me submitted and I bent. Because I healed. In a hurry. I am a God and he knew it. So the ... horror started again, always. The young Loki, the one who sought death to forget the pain, is gone. He was destroyed by that hell. I ... I don't know what he made me become but I survived by pure animal instinct, I survived the fire, the whip, the blades, the cold and beatings. But I healed more slowly, so he decided I was ready."

I didn't have the guts to look at Thor. I was there, bare-chested, arm in arm with him, and I felt his burning blue eyes on me. It burned like those blades.

Are you pale? Are you speechless? Furious? In tears? I don't want to know now, brother.

"I know what you are seeing. I know them one by one. They heal slowly. Some will never heal. Some intertwine on the shoulders, stretch to the chest. There is also a fire wound, next to it ... the blades instead were biting arms ...here, and here, ..." I barely touched my pale skin "The whip tore the skin from the back. The back is the worst. There are a couple that still hurt,...others no longer exist. Like here, on the eyebrow, or just above the ear..."

Scars. From the shoulders as far as a whip could reach. Or tongues of fire. Or those damn blades.

There was no better way to tell you. Nor a different way. Forgive me, brother...

He had to see them and I had to do it. I realized that if I wanted to recover from all my shit, I had to let go and expose myself.

Running away had only made things worse, it was festering everything.

I need my you to see, Thor. I need to hear your support. I wanted to know that you can be with me, so my recovery will be less painful and I could move on more easily. Will you stand by my side, brother?

So I looked up at him, and saw it.

The raging storm.

Flaming fury in Thor's dark eyes. Ready to lash out at me. I could feel them, those eyes, like a punch in the face. I knew I had hurt him and it devastating me. Now I realized I had broken him and I would have given everything to be able to go back and cancel that insane decision of mine. I wanted to die, and I probably would have died by his hand, because the one in front of me was no longer the chatty, smiling Thor who hugged me and called me "little brother".

He was the God of Thunder in his wildest and most primordial form. Rage and fury. It was pure berserk fury as I had never seen it before.

A terrifying roar shook the night sky and shook the earth beneath the volcanoes with a frightening groan. The air vibrated in my ears with such intensity that forced me to a stifled moan of pain. Then the air was shattered by the furious cry of the God of Thunder, which I had just completely broke with my senseless act. So I was ready to die.

[cinaminho]

Woman Like Me | H. Jisung

Group: Straykids

Genre: Mafia AU

Warnings:'lil fluff,, some mild violence,, swearing,, funny??,, Tiny Angst

Requested: Yes, " [Mafia] can I get something where you get smart mouth in front of Jisung and his gang and we’ll you finish he rest 😂😂"

Plot - His Temper has been tested many times with all the frustrations of being a mafia tech plus a part time hitman , his daily activities are stressful enough. With a Hot headed tantalizing lover like you He would've guessed being together would be a different level of difficulty, but not this difficult and how is that even though you make that Tiny vein pop near his temple in frustration that'd he finds it addictive and more reason to fall for you even if he isn't willing to admit it to anyone.

--------- ♡

Sidenote - I didn't know if you wanted it long or short so I apologize if it's too short.. Or long.

It wasn't unknown that'd you'd pop up at the SKZ's headquarters it'd gotten to the point where no one questioned you when you walked in nor did you acknowledge anyone standing guard out of the fifteen men and women per side you had to go through , they knew not to Question Han Jisung's future wife. You guys are engaged so an unlikely alliance can be formed between two former rival mafias as your brother is meant to take over your Father's corporation soon.

Although Jisung and the rest of your father's or should you say Brother's mafia got along well as you did with the other 8 most important Members of Stray Mafia, you two had a very Rocky beggining and bolders were about to be tumbling your way soon if you two couldn't at least learn to be friendly with one another.

Mafia merging wasn't unheard of it usually did involve two children from the opposite gangs getting married but those things didn't last nor seem believable since ninety nine percent of them were forced yours being one of them. Mafias never stayed merged when the lovers from opposing sides didn't get along it'd cause them to clash even worse than before the arranged marriage.

You guys had to make it seem genuine in order to establish your mafias as a bigger threat. Your eyes trained ahead focused on the automatic opening doors infront of you that you'd soon enter which would be the main part of the headquarters a.ka. The surveillance room where Jisung worked. Your feet tapped against the shiny metal tiles beneath you as you walked into the room inhaling the smell of disinfectant whipes, you bet Jisung whiped all the technical equipment down.

You looked around seeing many familiar and unfamiliar faces moving about doing different things, checking surveillance, fixing equipment, testing equipment you name it, to anyone even you it looked like a C.I.A organization which is what they kind of were but, you know, on the more crooked side.

You Spotted Jisung where he'd normally be behind what you'd describe as a fence of tables with Computers , cameras , and other technology fenced around him with a big enough opening for someone to walk through, though, no one besides The other 8 elite stray members and you came to that side of Jisungs work space.

Speaking of the other 8 members that's exactly where they were, chattering. You strolled over confidently clearing your throat Making your arrival known to those who had their backs to you including Jisung who spun in his computer chair to see you his giddy smile instantly dropping once he saw you a frown replacing it which brought you a smile of your own . "Not happy to see me I'm assuming." Your voice laced with fake concern. Jisung rolled his eyes already knowing you were being fake, "Exactly so don't ever assume otherwise."

He sassed back. A glare war began between the two of you. "Well~ The love birds bickering Begins." Chan clapped causing both of your attention to snap to him, "My favorite part of Y/n visiting." Hyunjin chuckled. "Y/n it's lovely to see you!" Jeongin chimed in Bowing to you before embracing you in a hug which you returned.

You clearly heard Jisung groan in annoyance making you two let each other go "Can't you see they're evil yet you still like them?" , "Y/n is nice to us and actually is useful when we need help finding a location if we can't get to you." Seungmin countered from Behind Jisung leaning against one of the computer desks, "I also don't kill people." You added "That hasn't been proven." Jisung grumbled sneering at you.

"Oh whatever Jisung, get back to typing fake reports on the computer, yes? The day is slow so what the hell could you possibly be doing." Within two point zero seconds a chorus of 'ooh's' were heard from the other members , you cockily lifted a brow crossing your arms because what'd he have to say now?

"My God, Jisung, you really have a fireball on your hands eh?" Felix chuckled. "Leave him alone he's clearly angry." , "Ohh this is good." Minho and Changbin added. "Ruffling a few of his feathers won't get him completely heated up, Right Jisung... Jisung?" Woojin had gotten no response from the young technician who's eyes were hooded black with rage.

You seen him angry but didn't flinch an eyelid, the way he was gripping the arms of the chair as he began to tremble it didn't look like he was breathing as his lips were pressed together roughly and his entire face almost completely bright red .

"Take it easy Jisung it's just kidding around , Alright?" The leader cautiously spoke being the first after you to take notice in his anger. You still were feeding off of his anger satisfied that you could bother him like this and infront of his colleagues or friends was absolutely beautiful to you. You could tell by the twitching of his fingers that he was ready to boil over just about.

Good because that's what you wanted, let him make a scene and be embarrassed by the attention lashing out later at the onlookers. Jisung squeezed his eyes shut for a minute or two before opening them looking as if all anger had vanished you discretely furrowed your brows which Jisung caught and gave you a knowing smirk making you grit your teeth silently.

He stood up from his seat making all the curious males eye him carefully as he took heavy steps towards your frame. "Y/n may I talk to you in the combat room?" His voice was honeyed you became suspicious naturally at the lack of aggravation in his voice, "why i-" , "Combat room, now." He quickly spat forcing you to turn in the opposite direction and walk until you two disappeared out the doors and down the halls .

"You don't think..." Hyunjin asked trailing off knowing that Chan knew what he was asking by his suggestive tone "Not in my combat room." He said flatly eyes still on the automatic door you two had exited out of , "Of course not you freak." Woojin mumbled.

----- 🔫

You felt Like Jisung was shooting darts with his eyes at the back of your head forcing you to stop and face him "Jisung I hope you-" , "No talking until in the combat room." He blunty spoke pointing for you to face the opposite way again and head into the room. You growled quietly before obeying.

Your eyes scanned each side of the halls for the combat room you were so lost in space that you didn't notice Jisung had stopped, "The door is right here you Dimwitted Ninny." Jisung called out making you instantly turn around stomping towards him glaring harder than ever letting him know that you didn't take lightly to that name but all he did was tilt his head signaling for you to go inside. You slipped passed him eyes not leaving his suspicious of what he might do but once you were sure he wouldn't try anything you took in the scenery of the blue soft padded wall room.

You sighed turning to him nonchalantly "I know what this is about." Jisung closed the door before turning to you, "You don't say?" His sarcasm was more than clear "Yes it's about what happened out there." You concluded. Jisung let out a Taut chuckle, "Yeah you really had 'em goin out there." You were sure despite the chuckle that he was far from amused "Look Jisung, WOAH!" Was all you could say followed by a puff of air leaving your lips wincing as your back collided with the Tile floor.

You cradled the back of your head letting out strangled shrieks in pain it took you a few moments to come back to your senses, "Did you.. Did you just PUSH ME?!" You spoke almost wheezing. "Yeah and I owe you more than that!" He announced.

Within seconds you were off the floor and before you knew it infront of him with the back of your hand colliding harshly with his face causing an echoing smack in the room. If you were in shock before then he was absolutely stunned now, "Did you just.." , "bitch slap you? Yes I did and I owe you more Than That!" You laughed bitterly restating his previous words to you.

"You really are the fiancee from hell!" He spoke thickly making you scoff sending him another blow but this time with your foot to his knee making him double over instantly grimacing in pain , "hmph, almost looks like when you proposed." You said satisfied and walking towards the door dusting yourself off.

Your two feet were brought from under you though as Jisung had other plans once again making you collide with the floor and groan in pain, Jisung quickly pinned himself over you fighting to get your hands down, "Are you seriously fighting me right now?!" , "It's the combat room isn't it?" He said struggling above you as you were pretty strong "your fighting skills are as weak as your hacking!" , "Your blocking skills are as weak as your driving skills Master 'I don't know how to parallel park'" .

You found a way to bring your knee up and powerfull into his chest causing him to fumble back and grip it you'd definitely knocked the air out of him pouncing on him giving him no chance to recover "You're unbelievable!" "For Enjoy this? I know!" , You almost stopped immediately "Wait you like this?" You said out of breath sitting up but he didn't answer instead he sent a painful blow to your shoulder your yelp in pain could've broke the windows.

Jisung stood up cracking his neck and rolling his shoulders back "Yep I do and now that I've handle that I can get back to work." Jisung jumped up and approached the door but it came swinging open revealing a very panicked and concerned leader also Hyunjin along with an amused Changbin and Minho, "ohhh so that's what all the tusseling was." Changbin smirked "Oh thank God!!" Chan sighed relieved.

"Yeah guys I just had to handle-" An 'umph' was heard from Jisung as his entire front came in contact with the wall infront of him and his arm behind his back pressing to pop out of it's socket all of which wad being done by you, "You could never handle a woman like me." You panted out smirking. Little did you know he was smirking as well.

He'd grown to enjoy these little matches because that meant more space for loving once you tied the knot and less fighting ,you guys just found things to pick at simply because it turned into lowkey flirting though that wasn't how it started out but you both were aware that it's what it'd progressed too, this was a bit more obvious though neither would admit it, hard to explain, didn't make sense, it was all complicated but it was how you two did things.

"So should we break this up?" Hyunjin asked "Ruin their Date? I don't think so, c'mon guys, back to the main headquarters." Chan ushered while closing the door leaving you two to wrestle with a chorus of Disappointed cries from the boys as they left.

-

-

-

That ending was bad and I planned for it to be different but I'm just now finishing this at 3 a.m. so give me a break... Please? Anyway, I hope whoever reads this enjoys it, I'll fix the typos later but I must sleep now ❤.

[chloelovestaylors]

In response to Taylor’s ELLE article

I've switched between my phone notes and my iPad notes and a notepad, all before 7am this morning, to voice how much this article has meant to me. I'm unable to collect my many thoughts following reading such a poignant and beautiful piece of writing. For some, it may be just an article filled with advice and lessons learned by some celebrity; to me, it's a collection of advice given to me by my pseudo big sister. It's her telling me some of the tough love that I've been scared to receive, it's her caring about me enough to tell me things I need to hear instead of what I want to hear. It's her talking to me about things that I haven't let anyone know I'm struggling with. I still don't know how to start explaining my gratitude for her and I don't know how to start with how many of her lessons hit close to home. She delivers them with such grace and from a point of such wisdom that I can't even fathom. Yet she also delivers them with humour and in a way that drives her point home. I can only hope to one day be able to use words in the same way. I could go on for hours about how each piece of advice has already deep rooted itself into the part of my brain that usually turns on me, but for now, there were four lessons that apparently hit hard as I felt the need to screenshot them on my first read at 5am this morning.

Lesson two: Being sweet to everyone all the time can get you into a lot of trouble.

I am a caring, empathetic, passive person by nature. That's just who I am. But, I've had to learn how to be that without being so far into the idea of being nice and kind that I neglect to recognise when someone's hurting me. This is still something I'm learning. Learning to grow a backbone and fight for my own happiness instead of being an incessant people-pleaser. Because this trait is so easily manipulated and taken advantage of by everyone around me.

Lesson four: I learned to stop hating every ounce of fat on my body.

This is something I'm no where near accepting. I am overweight, it's something I've had to accept due to medication I have to take to control my anxiety and depression, it's something that is written in my genetics. It took me a moment to process this part of the article. Especially the part about shiny hair and more energy. I never tell anyone about this, I'm open with a lot of the hardships I've gone through, however I never mention I've had an eating disorder. Because when I do, people look at me and assume I'm lying because I am overweight. But those nights of calorie counting and diary entries of weight don't discriminate. I've struggled with this for a long time. I recovered in 2017, but in the last few months, I've been slipping back. And it's the most frustrating whirlwind of emotions to relapse into something when you KNOW it's bad for you. When you've worked so hard to get your hair shiny again, when you've cut your waist length curly blonde hair into a shoulder length bob because nothing mattered anymore and now you're FINALLY growing it out again. It's horrible. Reading this lesson obviously doesn't immediately fix me. That's going to take time. But what it did do was remind me that I'm not alone. No matter how isolating this all is.

2013 (the beginning of it all), 2017 (where i chopped all my hair off), Now, where I really want to keep the shine.

Lesson thirteen: It’s my opinion that in cases of sexual assault, I believe the victim.

It was hard to hold back tears reading this one. Almost to the day, a year before Taylors sexual assault trial, I finally admitted to myself that I was sexually abused multiple times as a child. It took me another couple of months to tell anyone. Which made it almost 11 years since the first incident. It took me 11 years to understand what happened to me. I was lucky, the people I told first, my best friend and my teacher, they believed me. That weight being lifted off my chest felt like I could breathe for the first time in 11 years. I made the decision not to report it, which is a decision I'm still struggling with. But it was because I was, am, terrified. Of him, of a possible trial, of being questioned when I KNOW what I went through. There's no evidence. Nothing to prove the horror I had to endure multiple times at 5 and 6 years old. Taylor, in a sense, saying she believes me made me tear up because I'm still constantly terrified, even 2 years later, that people are going to tell me I made it up because I didn't speak about it. But to them I ask what 5 year old you know that would tell someone about something that was presented to them as a 'game'.

Lesson twenty-six: I make countdowns for things I’m excited about.

Reading this, I smiled. I was transported back to being 13, counting down to the red tour. 13 was hard. A lot of years were hard, but 13 is where it got really bad. I really wanted to end my life that year. It got so bad that I had a plan and a date. I was ready to do it, but I had just gotten tickets to see Taylor for the first time ever on December 14th. I made a countdown on everything I could. It turned into my motivation to stay alive. Even all my teachers at school knew, and every class I would go into, they'd immediately ask me 'how many days Chloe?" and I'd tell them. Eventually it changed from 84 days to 45 to only a week. In that time I had started therapy and was working really hard to hold on. I held on to see Taylor. And even now, that's what keeps me holding on.

Taylor, I cannot even begin to thank you for everything you've done for me. I'm so grateful to have you in my life and the advice you have given me indirectly through growing up. From age 7 to almost 19, I couldn't imagine someone better to guide me through.

@taylorswift