#i'm probably the only person who cares about the latter two songs but oh well

[magicalmikuri]

"Johnny" might be solved? "Losing My Patience" and "Pišem ti iz vlaka" are solved??? It's all coming up good news in lostwave for me

[iamespecter]

TADC OCs: "The Die Quartet"!

"Oh but Ziku, who are these very handsome die?"

Well I'm glad nobody asked, because that would ruin the joke!

The Die Quartet are OCs of mine that I created for TADC, and for what purpose? Well, they're the minds behind show's music!

Hidden just behind a corner or two, or four, These obliviously mischievous and enthusiastic quartet play whatever music they can, one that certainly matches the current "mood" of what the cast is going through. Meet Cuba, Dodeca, Tetra, and Octa, The Amazing Musical Performers, for The Amazing Digital Circus!

LORE AND BOUNDARIES UNDERNEATH THE CUT!

When the Circus was initially created, it was feeling too barren for a place that's meant to be "lively". And so, Caine went and copy-pasted himself four times, while replacing the heads with some die props he found on the floor, retexturing and adjusting their bodies, to fit their new roles.

A little bit of a code rewrite to make them able of producing any sounds all on their own to be musically intertwined, and the quartet was basically ready to go: but there's only one problem.

Caine completely forgot to remove the admin privileges from their code.

So once the four spawned, they immediately began floating around, dancing and creating the main theme for the circus, and did it all perfectly. So Caine decided that as long as they don't interfere with anything major in the circus and did their job as the musical minds behind the show/game's soundtracks, he doesn't really care about fixing this error and would rather let these four run rampant to create more songs.

Ever since then, the Die Quartet has been messing with every circus members, most of the time playing obnoxious music that fits the "current mood". You'll even see their canes dance to the tempo they've set, like some backup dancers.

Think of it like: You now have x4 Caines with dice heads, flying and snooping around, so that they can "improve the mood" with their music! Ain't that swell??

(But really, all they do is just annoy the Circus members just like Caine does, for the better or the worse. Probably the latter.)

Fun facts about the Die Quartet!

Even though they've all been created at the same time and share the features of a die, they do not consider themselves as "brothers", and only see one another as colleagues instead.

Their names are related to the type of their die: Tetra (yellow), Dodeca (purple), Cuba (red), and Octa (green).

Despite being reused assets of Caine himself, they have distinct personalities that separate them from each other: Tetra is more joyful and playful, Dodeca is a more dramatic/theatric and over the top, Cuba is the natural lead and more stern than anybody, and Octa is the more closed off of the gang but willing to provide his best.

Yet, they all still lack awareness of personal space and boundaries just like Caine, and WILL be intrusive towards anyone they set their sights on, with the intent of predicting their mood and setting the current situation perfectly in musical form. (ex. if a character is sneaking, all four will follow "cautiously" behind while one imitates/pulls out a tiny piano playing to the theme of "tip-toeing". You know, like a cartoon gag.)

Although they can perfectly imitate ANY sound or instrument imaginable, They'll still pull out a "physical" instrument if the gag calls for it.

BOUNDARIES!

You can pretty much draw fanart of them! In fact I would REALLY love to see it and I encourage it! Really, just don't claim them as your own, or steal their designs.

NSFW of them is accepted, but please keep in mind that I have an SFW blog. Which means THERE ARE MINORS. Show them to me privately instead, I'd still love to see it <3

While NSFW is accepted (privately), please make it a morally decent one, because I don't really wanna see some disgusting stuff. This pretty much includes: non-con, scat, etc.

Aside from that though, I hope you all enjoyed these four! I really love how they turned out, and would love to draw them more. I was initially hesitant on showing my TADC OCs because I don't think people would like 'em, but fuck it.

My boys, they deserve to be seen even if just by a few people on the internet.

[mysterialistic]

This Link Click original song is literally Lu Guang!

So I've been analyzing the Link Click original songs from season 2 (cause I'm searching for clues lmao), and I discovered that "Flash" is literally Lu Guang.

Analysis here:

"There's no chance to rewrite, our story ended long ago". This is totally LG, he did said that this was his last attempt to save CXS. His story with CXS ended way too long ago with the passing of the latter.

"Just a loop", yes, LG time loop confirmed. "Should I do this now till the end?" LG not giving up on going back in time to save CXS.

And now my favorite part: "You're the reason I live, but you don't remember me".

GUYS, THIS IS TOTALLY LG?!? Remember how the director said that when CXS meet LG he felt that he had meet him before, you know, like a weird melancholic feeling? Well, obviously LG remembers him but CXS, his reason to live, doesn't. God, I love this.

I also like the first two lines in here: "Oh, can I be with you? It feels like comedy."

LG has dived back in time so many times to save CXS, just to be with him, but he hasn't made it and it's starting to feel like a bad comedy, a joke.

Now we're getting to the best part: "gotta get the power to rewrite. I just wanna deny, I just wanna rewrite".

I think this is very clear. LG getting CXS's power to go back in time, the power to REWRITE. He wants to deny what happened, he only wants to rewrite the tragic events, aka CXS dying.

"What a wonderous nightmare" aka CXS death.

"Resist the lifeless scenario. Become the person, the person I wished for that day". LG fighting against fate, against that lifeless scenario that he despises so much. He wants to become the person we wished for that day, aka the person who saved CXS.

"Notice the regret engraved so hard. Crying, don't let me go anywhere". This sounds like LG regretting going back in time to change fate and destroy the time line, he know it's wrong, but he can't stop and he's begging to be stopped because he can't stop himself.

"Babe you don't see me. Your shadow that only I got, that only I got". He goes back in time and CXS doesn't see him, he doesn't remember him, only LG has a shadow of his past and that's its, but it's enough.

"Flame out, I don't care about it anymore. Now I can fly, only I can fly". This is LG probably accepting that he wants to change the past and he doesn't care anymore about the consequences since he obtained the power to do it and only he can do it.

"You're just making sure I'm alone, but I have the power, it was undercover". This sound liks LG talking to fate, going against it on his own but knowing that he has the power, the hidden the power to go back in time and fight against fate.

So this is just me making a crazy analysis of the lyrics lmao. I'll also do one for "Keep in mind" because it's SOOO LG time traveler coded.

[toutallyahoe]

Everybody Talks ~ Iwaizumi Hajime (Haikyuu) pt 1

requested by: --

a/n: i forgot to post this here, lmao whoops

but anyways, had to split this because tumblr cant support 7000+ words asdfghjkll

this is my longest one shot so far, please enjoy it. em begging thee

part one | part two | part three

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"Hey baby won't you look my way?

I can be your new addiction,"

There it goes again, the annoying song that he was already very familiarized with as it was the very same song that his soulmate had been listening non-stop for the past few days. Iwaizumi Hajime doesn't know if his soulmate had a different time zone than his (thirteen hours difference to be exact) or just a psychopath listening to the loud song for the whole night that the dark haired male could barely sleep. And it had been almost a week already!

"Hey baby what you gotta say?

All you're giving me is fiction,"

Hajime doesn't even understood the song that much despite it's catchy tune. It was in, on what he assumed, was english. Yes, it was very catchy song at first as the beat was very enjoyable and the singer had a nice voice— but listening to the song for almost one week straight? It can drive anyone insane. And Iwaizumi Hajime had to deal with listening to the song over and over again in non-stop repeat because of his (probably) psychopath soulmate listen to it in full volume.

"I'm a sorry sucker and this happens all the time,"

The dark haired male was rather a bit thankful that the volume of the song he was hearing was a bit bearable as whatever song anyone's soulmate was listening too, it was projected to the other about only eighty percent the noise. Still, the song was loud and Hajime wonders if his soulmate would go deaf with how loud the song was playing on their end. Well, if they weren't going deaf already.

"I found out that everybody talks,

Everybody talks, everybody talks,

It started with a whisper!"

Sighing, Hajime stared at the ceiling of his room, a small frown on his lips. God, his soulmate was lowkey an asshole for making him listen to the same song over and over again for the past few days. If he ever finds his soulmate, the dark haired male was sure to beat them up— or at least, be angry at them for making him listen to a song that he could barely sleep.

"And that was when I kissed her!

And then she made my lips hurt!"

Looking at the alarm clock on top of his nightstand beside his bed, the dark haired male let out another annoyed grunt as he saw the time. It was already midnight and he still had school to attend to tomorrow. Not to mention volleyball practice early in the morning aswell.

God, for a moment, Hajime hated the soulmate bond so, so much.

"I could hear the chit chat!

Take me to your love shack!"

But Iwaizumi Hajime also remembered that his soulmate rather had a nice taste in music that even made him listen to his soulmates favorite bands— or at least he assumes they were their favorite bands.

Hajime was stuck with the soulmate bond that let's him hear the song what his soulmate was listening too, and it reminded the dark haired male that his soulmate was somehow sharing a part of themselves to him.

"Mamas always gotta back track!

When everybody talks back!"

Sighing again, Hajime wished he would just smack his soulmate right now.

  

"Hey honey you could be my drug?

You could be my new prescription,"

Hajime let out an annoyed grunt as he just finished serving and stood outside the court. It was unfortunately out of bounds as he put too much pressure on hitting the ball, but Hajime could barely care about it right now.

"Too much could be an overdose!

All this trash talk make me itchin'!"

Jesus fucking Christ, it was practically by the end of the day, but his soulmate was still listening to the song? The dark haired male now fully believed his soulmate was a psychopath. Period.

"Oh my, my,

Everybody talks, everybody talks,

Everybody talks, too much..."

"Woah, losing your edge there ace!" Hajime turned his head to whoever had said those words and saw it was a fellow third year and (unfortunately) friend of his, Hanamaki Takahiro. The light brown (pink-ish?) haired male had an eyebrow raised towards him but an amused smirk on his lips with his arms crossed over his chest.

"You okay there? Or are you getting old already?" Takahiro snickered as Hajime rolled his eyes at the wing spiker. The light brown (salmon???) haired player was always a bit of a tease along with another third year, Matsukawa Issei. Speaking of the middle blocker, it seemed like the black haired middle blocker also decided to come and join on annoying the dark haired ace.

"You've been also more annoyed than usual," Issei pointed out as he stood next to his light brown (pastel pink???) haired friend with his arms crossed on his chest aswell. "Love the eye bags, by the way," Issei continued as he grinned while Takahiro snickered more at his comment.

"Oh, shut up," Hajime had grunted as he rubbed the temple on his head. The dark haired ace was already tired from the lack of sleep and practicing volleyball even if he do love the sport. He can't deal with his teams bullshit right now.

"Iwa-chan can't sleep because of his soulmate!" Yelled the volleyball captain of the males volleyball club of Aoba Johsai, Oikawa Tōru, who was unfortunately the dark haired male's best friend since childhood from across the court. How did he know what the three were talking about? No one would ever know other than knowing the captain enjoyed gossip and doesn't care if he even gets caught listening to conversations that doesn't include him. Oikawa Tōru had no shame.

Sighing again, Hajime was so fucking done. Of course the chocolate brown haired male would know about his soulmate problem even if he doesn't say anything about it. For some odd reason, Tōru had a sixth sense with him and his soulmate. How annoying.

"Because of your soulmate...?" Takahiro asked, confused. The confusion on his face was immediately then replaced with an amused look as a shit eating grin was replaced the smirk on his lips. Hajime already felt the headache coming.

"That's pretty kinky, not gonna lie," Takahiro said with no shame whatsoever. Obviously his imaginations running wild from the chocolate brown haired male's shout about Hajime and his soulmate. Issei could only chuckle at his friend's words as they both look at the dark haired ace who was slowly losing his sanity and patience.

"But seriously, Iwaizumi. What's the deal with your soulmate?" Issei asked. Finally something Hajime could actually answer and not be teased by the assholes that he calls his teammates and friends. Unfortunately.

"The dumbass hasn't stopped listening to this one song for almost a week now," Hajime grunted as he could still hear the said song in his mind.

"It started with a whisper!

And that was when I kissed her!

And then she made my lips hurt!"

"Really?" Takahiro said, a bit surprised that a measly song would annoy the dark haired ace. Sure, Iwaizumi Hajime was a bit of a hot headed person but he was a hot headed person who can control his temper— unless it's with Oikawa Tōru, then Hajime would not hesitate to beat the shit outta the chocolate haired captain.

"What's so bad with the song?" And it seemed like the black haired middle blocker agreed aswell as Issei asked that question. The taller male didn't know if he should congratulate their ace's soulmate for making the dark haired male so annoyed and irritated for the past few days or feel bad for Hajime.

"The song isn't the problem," Hajime huffed as he saw both Takahiro and Issei look at him with raised brows. Clearly wanting him to elaborate more since they were confused. Sighing, the dark haired male decided to just come out with it. "They just have been playing the song non-stop and it's driving me insane."

"I could hear the chit chat!

Take me to your love shack!"

"What's the song?" The light brown (peach?!?) haired male had asked. Curious on what Hajime's soulmate was listening to. Can you blame him though? Their ace seemed to be a bit secretive with his soulmate, even if they had been teammates and friends for years. Iwaizumi Hajime didn't seemed to like talking about his soulmate, either it be him not liking them or just likes his privacy. It was probably the latter but who knows?

Sighing again, Hajime gestured the two to follow him to the changing room. The practice was almost over anyways and both Takahiro and Issei had finished their serves earlier ago aswell. The dark haired ace was going to let the two third years hear the song he had been listening to for the past few days with his phone. Hajime, after all, downloaded the song his soulmate had been listening to non-stop.

  

"Mamas always gotta back track!

When everybody talks back!"

Arriving at the changing room with the two males tagging along, Hajime wasted no time going to his assigned locker and opened it up. Taking out his phone and unlocking it, Hajime immediately then went to his music app and searched the song his soulmate had forced him to listen to for almost a week.

"Never thought I'd live to see the day,

When everybody's words got in the way!"

Finding the song, the dark haired ace turned to both his friend and gave them a blank expression as he hit play on the song.

The familiar intro of the song played loud on the device's speaker and it didn't take long for the singer started singing the song that Hajime was song he could sing along perfectly from how much he had heard the song already. The dark haired male had practically memorized the lyrics of the song already and he wasn't even kidding.

"Woah," Issei whistled as he look at the song that was playing in Hajime's phone more closely. "Damn ace, you're soulmate has taste!" The black haired male said. Rather surprised and impressed to the song Hajime's soulmate taste in music.

"It's in english too," Takahiro pointed out. He then turned to look at Issei who looked at him aswell. The two seemed to be communicating without even saying anything, but seeing the furrowed eyebrows and small frown on their lips, Hajime knew what they were thinking.

"Your soulmate is probably in a foreign country..." Takahiro said as he looked back at the dark haired ace. A bit worried but the wing spiker seemed to force a grin on his lips. "That's so cool!"

"Yeah, you're pretty lucky to get a foreign soulmate ace," Issei said. "Imagine getting help with english!" The black haired male chuckled. The two friends continued on listing the positives of having a soulmate who can talk in english and joking about it.

The dark haired ace didn't seemed to listen to the two though.

Hajime knew that there was a huge possibility that his soulmate was in another country than where he was. Soulmates were rarely even in the same cities most of the time, so Hajime fully knows about him maybe not meeting his soulmate. Still, it still hurts to think that his soulmate was far away from him and probably would not meet.

Iwaizumi Hajime didn't considered himself as a hopeless romantic, but it had always been his dream to meet the other person who he had sharing music to since he was seven years old.

There were two reasons why Hajime hated sharing about his soulmates music taste. First was that it hurts to be reminded that Hajime would only hear the song his soulmate was listening to and most of the time those songs were in english and were too loud for his liking. Sure, his soulmate listened to some mellow song aswell like lo-fi and even taking note on songs he listened too aswell, but his soulmate seemed to enjoy the upbeat and loud ones a lot.

Second was that Hajime felt like the music he listened from his soulmate were sacred. It was a silly thing to think but for the dark haired ace, the music and songs his soulmate was listening too, it was only for him to listen to and only him alone.

God, perhaps Iwaizumi Hajime was a hopeless romantic. Or at least, a little bit of a hopeless romantic with how he thinks about some dumb songs his soulmate was listening too.

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next >

[veliseraptor]

So this is in NO WAY PRESSURING, get to this whenever you're bored and have nothing better to do, but I (have still not watched The Untamed) would love to hear any disorganized rambles around your fic 'Punitive Measures', like your thoughts while writing it, how you view Xue Yang's fight/flight/freeze instinct, and/or where you would take the plot if you ever came back to it (again, not pressuring, I'm not asking for a sequel, I'm asking for director's commentary. Also I know the mysterious flute was implying Wei Wuxian, I know that much and not much more.) It's a really fun, quick fic that I enjoy reading through while I keep circling around your longer, more intimidating stories. I aspire to write like you.

oh boy, well, I don't know that I ever have nothing to do but here I am answering this ask anyway, because I like talking about my fic even if I get self-conscious about it.

this entire fic falls solidly into the genre of fic I write that is legitimately just “I’m gonna fuck up this character I love because it’ll be fun and I love to do that” and then just kinda...went for it. actually harder than I was initially planning! my vague sense of what I was going to do with this fic didn’t have Xue Yang down an eye at the end of it.

but when inspiration strikes, what’s a girl to do, etc.

I actually thought recently about writing a sequel to this fic (or, well, continuing into the AU it started, more like) because the concept of Wei Wuxian and Xue Yang being bloodthirsty vengeance brethren is a very good one for me, personally, and at the point their paths would be intersecting in this AU a more plausible one than it would be at pretty much any other time (I would argue, at least in CQLverse). And that’s where I think this would be going. Because Xue Yang would see Wei Wuxian, in his bloodiest frame of mind, powered up with a gorgeous flute of bad vibes and go “fuck yes” even if he wasn’t in a place where he really needed the help.

The question I had was whether Wei Wuxian would be interested in accepting company, and I feel like Xue Yang on that front could be convincing. And the way that the latter would both enable and egg on all the former’s darkest fantasies and impulses...I’m just saying, Wen Chao and everyone he has ever known is in for a very bad time, possibly even worse than they already were.

I invite you to picture in this AU the part where Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji find not just darker and edgier Wei Wuxian at the end of their scavenger hunt but darker and edgier Wei Wuxian with a friend. A familiar friend! Now down an eye and practically picking his teeth with Wen Chao’s finger bones. :D

since you asked for disorganized rambling I went back to reread and I’ll give you some director’s commentary on a few things

And he’d kind of hoped Wen Ruohan would be too busy figuring out how to deal with his brewing war to dedicate much attention to looking for one absent retainer. And even if he did, Xue Yang had sort of figured that finding him would fall to Wen Chao, who’d probably struggle to find his own ass with two hands.

kicking off this director’s commentary with Xue Yang’s brutal assessment of the competency of Wen Chao.

tbh one of my favorite things about CQL’s involving Xue Yang in the whole Sunshot storyline, despite the merry hell it plays with timeline stuff later, is how obviously little regard Xue Yang has for the Wens, even when they’re at the height of their power. He shows Wen Ruohan himself very little respect, and I can’t imagine anyone else getting more (except maybe Wen Qing, because Wen Qing is competent and if nothing else Xue Yang can respect competency).

and he just like. ditches them. walks out! promises to deliver very powerful magical artifact, and then gets what he wants and is like “smell ya later, peace” and they never catch him.

that’s just a kind of gutsiness and casual disregard for very powerful people that I really both love and respect about Xue Yang. and also that he has in common with Xiao Xingchen, tbh. and Song Lan (though him I think to a slightly lesser degree, partly because he has a little more tact and sense of societal norms as something relevant to be thinking about)! they can all vibe on that.

They took Jiangzai. Well. One of the Wen disciples took Jiangzai in the stomach and Xue Yang didn’t get it back.

this isn’t an important line or anything. I just like it a lot.

Wen Chao gestured again and he went down in a hail of fists and feet. Xue Yang tucked his chin down to protect his throat, curled his hands into his chest, and drew up his knees to guard his stomach.

He knew how this worked. Sure, it’d been a while since someone had beat him like this, but the lessons stuck. It was almost boring, really. If Wen Chao was going to play torture games then he could at least do Xue Yang the favor of trying to be creative.

He checked out the part of his brain that registered pain as anything other than a thing that was happening and focused instead on opportunities. Weaknesses in his assailants. Escape routes. Getting away would be the first thing. Nice if he could take a piece of Wen Chao with him on the way out - arm, or maybe even a head - but the priority was freedom and survival.

okay, this I feel like cuts into some of what you were talking about regarding Xue Yang’s fight/flight instinct, and also a lot of what if, I was feeling pretentious, I feel like this fic is digging into on a level under “what if I just tortured Xue Yang a whole bunch,” which is something about the relationship Xue Yang has to (a) pain and (b) his own body. Specifically, the relative indifference he has toward both. Or...not indifference, exactly, because it’s not like he’s enjoying himself, it still hurts. It’s just...expected.

unremarkable.

which is a lot of what I was trying to convey with Xue Yang’s narration during the whole torture sequence, with the commentary on methodology and how things are mundane or boring, because the suffering itself is mundane! as far as Xue Yang is concerned that’s exactly what suffering is! other peoples’, for sure, which is part of why it doesn’t matter, but also his own.

the world hurts and that’s just how it is and you learn how to cope with that. pain as...a thing that [is] happening.

I also, since you mentioned the fight/flight instinct, think a lot about how Xue Yang is, while he’s very proud and very stubborn, absolutely not someone to pick fights (in general) that he knows he can’t win. Xue Yang will almost always be on the side of “run and come back another day” over “stand and fight when all is lost.” survival, first and foremost.

which feeds into the weird paradox that I kind of hint toward at the end of this fic about Xue Yang as someone who has a definite death drive, who is profoundly obsessed with his own death in a lot of ways, and simultaneously is attached to staying alive above pretty much all else.

“Snap and snarl all you want,” he said. “You’re not going anywhere. And the only part of you I need intact is your tongue, so you can tell me where you hid the Yin Metal you promised. Everything else is optional.”

A prickle of fear rolled down Xue Yang’s spine and he flicked it away, baring his teeth.

I actually do think that, even before they get around to hand-specific trauma, permanent mutilation is one of those things that still scares Xue Yang. which is a short list! there isn’t much that actually either gets to or scares him, but I think the prospect of (further) mutilation does, because I think Xue Yang is very...acutely aware of the fact that his physical capability is a major factor in what has kept him alive and what, in all likelihood, is going to keep him alive moving forward. anything that threatens that capability, that limits him in terms of strength or mobility or otherwise has a disabling effect, is consequently going to be a short road to death, and Xue Yang would much rather die painfully fighting than die as a consequence of not being able to take care of himself.

for Xue Yang, the idea of a return to the kind of helplessness that is tied to his trauma is one of the worst possible prospects to contemplate. in my head this is exacerbated further by the fact that I figure Xue Yang didn’t get much if any medical care post hand incident, meaning that the recovery period was absolutely nightmarish and a whole stretch of time beyond the event itself where Xue Yang was struggling to survive because he’d been damaged.

in some ways I think that period of time probably did more to shape Xue Yang than the moment itself.

Wen Chao grabbed one of the branding irons from a disciple’s belt and pressed it to his stomach. That hurt. More. He clamped his back teeth together so he didn’t make any sound, absorbed the burn, owned it. His. You only hurt if you were alive. And anything you survived made you stronger.

Not that this was actually going to make him stronger. It was probably just going to make him dead. But then again, the worse this went the more resentment he’d have built up. He could use that. Would.

Dead didn’t have to mean finished.

obviously this is pulled almost direct from what Wei Wuxian himself says to Wen Chao. deliberate echoes based on character parallels! we love those.

and yeah, again here about Xue Yang and his relationship to pain, but in a less mundane way this time where it’s about pain as a tool, pain as something he can use. which is another thing about coping, I think - when pain and suffering are a regular part of your life, one way to deal with that can be to convert it into having some kind of purpose or benefit.

which in this case it definitely can. Xue Yang is definitely someone who, I think, has thought a lot about trying to arrange it so he becomes a ghost after he dies. or at least has thought a lot about what he’d do after dying to the person who killed him. 

and when you’re a necromancer by trade death really isn’t the end of the line anymore, just the start of a something new. Xue Yang’s relationship to life itself: about as jacked up as his relationships in general.

He felt the snap of bone in his teeth. Pain shooting up the side of his hand, all the way to his wrist, and Xue Yang couldn’t keep himself still enough not to try to wrench himself away. He swallowed his scream and turned it into a laugh. It was funny, wasn’t it? Funny, that he was back here, again. It wasn’t as bad, though. He knew how to take pain, how to breathe it in, make it part of himself, later turn it outwards magnified tenfold. They were old friends. Practically lovers. 

two things here:

1. the thread throughout this fic of Xue Yang making things funny so he can deal with them, here brought to you by reliving trauma! because it’s funny! right? laugh about it! just fucking hilarious.

I have a thing about characters basically deciding for themselves to make very unfunny situations funny because it makes them less awful.

2. and look, now he can deal with it better this time! he’s Learned. :) :) :)

Everything splintered. Splintered like bones under a wheel, and first thing he tried to struggle to get away but that just hurt worse and then old old old instincts kicked in and he went still, limp, dead.

“Did he faint?”

Someone nudged him with their foot. One part of him roared to grab that foot and rip it off along with the leg it was attached to. Immediately the same thing that’d made him play dead told him to wait.

at an end point where fighting is impossible and running is also impossible, the only thing left to do is play dead and wait it out. this is very much, in my head, a reversion to a tactic Xue Yang hasn’t used in a very long time and does not want to be using now, because it is absolutely the recourse of the extraordinarily helpless with no way out.

which he has been! and is now, but he really really really doesn’t want to be. Xue Yang has built his life around not being that, ever again.

but here it’s not a move he makes planning to turn it around the way he does, not at first. he gets there, but when he first does it I think it is literally just instinct that goes enough is enough and shuts down.

Wen Chao, Wen Chao, Xue Yang thought. My body’s going to give out before I do.

someone should remind me at some point maybe (or not) to write something coherent about my Xue Yang vs. his own body thoughts. specifically the way that, while Xue Yang is very physical and very grounded, I think he has a somewhat antagonistic relationship with his own body, actually. not completely! he definitely respects what it can do for him! but I think he also treats it a little as a slightly separate entity that’s capable of betraying him rather than as a fully integrated part of himself.

not always! but it’s a little bit there. this idea that sometimes his body, and its capacity to be hurt or damaged, is a weakness that he’d like to be able to forgo entirely, if only it wouldn’t mean losing all the good things about having a body. and that’s present here in this line, for me, where he thinks about himself and his body as slightly separate, and his body as something weaker than its Xue Yang core.

[jamkookies]

° Bon Voyage °

• Part II •

Behold the beauty mask!

~

Two days.

That's how long it had been since you hadn't seen the boys. You hadn't even been able to exchange messages because your mom kept insisting that you keep your phone as far away from you as possible.

But thank heavens it was over now.

The birthday had gone smoothly and you could finally go back to what you had planned to do.

You were now sitting on a chair, a camera looming over you and your bodyguard standing a few feet away.

You had changed to black shorts since it was scorching hot and put a cap on your head, but except for that you were still wearing the same clothes from two days ago.

Curse you and your insufferable messiness.

You had one hour till the plane took off so you decided to spend that time devouring a hamburger all by yourself.

Then you thought twice and got two other ones - one for the cameraman and one for the bodyguard, though the latter refused to eat on duty.

"Well, I guess more for us then", you said with a mouthful and split it in half with the cameraman.

Taking big bites, you opened the front camera and started recording a video.

You film the hamburger first and then let your face get in the view.

"Now I know what you're probably thinking. Isn't that a tasty - looking piece of art? For sure it is. You must be over there starving while I enjoy this beauty.But no worries fellas. I will join you in no time. So long, my brethren."

You're about to finish recording but then you zoom in into your eye.

"Oh and Tae - hyung, please tell me you haven't broken my record on Temple Run or I'll kill you.Byeeee".

You turn off the camera and go back to eating.

Ten minutes later you get a video-message.

What you first see is Tae holding his phone in front of the camera showing his Temple Run username with the score attached.

It was a long number.

It had a lot of zeros.

That cheeky little bastard.

He moves the phone around showing you the rest of the members, and to your betrayal, they are sitting on a yacht drinking champagne off of fancy glasses.

You involuntarily gasp. So much for them starving.

They all wave at the camera when noticing it, specifically Jin who grabs the phone from Taehyung's hands.

"Y/N how many times have I told you not to talk with your mouth full!"

"But hyung, you do it all the time." A voice is heard.

Jimin.

You huff a laugh through your nose.

"Anyways..." Jin glares at Jimin and continues. "Don't eat too much or you'll get sick. See you soon."

He passes the phone to the others and the first person to grab it is Jungkook.

"Hey Y/N . We've missed you a lot.There is no one to tease and we're starting to grow bored. Hurry up, please. Love you."

He gives you a finger heart.

You start hearing a faint thump, that grows louder and faster by the second.

Oh right , it's your own heart this time.

Why the hell is it beating so fast?

Thank god the camera moves to Jimin.

He does the same.

"Love you, Y/N."

Then Hoseok.

Namjoon.

When Yoongi gets into view, his head is turned to the side. Everyone waits for him.

"I'm gonna stay here till you say it", says Taehyung, holding the camera.

"Love you, Y/N." He finally manages, unbothered and still not looking.

Everyone laughs their asses off.

You included.

Everyone knows that Yoongi isn't the type to show his affection, but he will still be so loving and caring to others.It made your heart hurt and you were suddenly reminded of all the times he would require for his hand to be held.

The video comes to an end.

There was this churning feeling on your stomach and you didn't really know if it was from Yoongi's adorableness, Jungkook's showcase of emotions or all together.

You abandon the rest of the hamburger and look straight at the camera.

"I think I'm gonna be sick."

* * *

Things had gotten pretty weird lately. You got easily flustered at the most subtle affection, and you didn't really know how to feel about it.

But one thing was for sure.

You had to get things under control or people would start having suspicions.

So, you decide to act as your most uncaring, goofy self and turn everything that comes at your way a hilarious scenario.

You exit the airport of Valetta and take a look around the area.

The heat is so intense, it makes your skin prickle. If you keep walking around under the sun like this, your skin will be burnt like hell. You take out the sunscreen and start applying it on to your arms, legs and every visible sliver of skin.

However, when it comes to your face, you just stuff your hands full of the substance and smear it carelessly until you look like you put on a beauty mask.

"I wish I had some cucumber slices right now", you say, your eyes the only thing able to be seen.

People stare at you incredulously, but you ignore them and keep walking.

Al least you were amusing to look at.

"What am I supposed to do now?" You ask the cameraman.

He gives you a map of the city and you spot an area circled with red.

"That's the place where the members are staying. You have to find it by yourself. Here is your allowance," the cameraman says and hands you an envelope. You peek at the envelope and see 100 dollars nicely folded.

Giving him a crooked smile, you put a hand on your hip.

"Hyung-nim, did I ever tell how well you do your job?"

The cameraman chokes back a laugh.

"We don't know where the place is either."

Your smile faints and the corners of your lips turn downwards, disappointed.

"Oh well, it looks like we have a lot of work to do," you say and grab the map from his hands.

* * *

After a long ride on the bus, you were exhausted but you didn't let it show. Dragging your suitcase behind you, you hum to yourself fragments of your incomplete songs. Your face still looked like you had stuffed it in cocaine, and that only made pedestrians throw weird glances at you, but you just smiled and waved.

You were absolutely enjoying this.

The whole place was so aesthetically pleasing with all the beige dwellings, reflecting off the sun, and the waves crashing into the shore. The warm breeze tickled your skin and you tasted the salt in the air.

You felt like your lungs were filled to the brim with the fresh oxygen.

If you were completely honest with yourself, you had been a little sceptic about coming to Malta out of all places, but now you understand that you had been utterly wrong.

This.... this is was something different.

This was something you could very well live with.

You take another deep breath and close your eyes, but then a giggle makes you open them again.

A little kid is pointing at you from a few feet away and laughing his ass off, due to the sight of your "beauty mask".

You sigh deeply and keep walking.

*

At last you arrive at the location.

A tall building towers over you and you push the bell button on the number of your assigned apartment.

No answer.

You wait for a couple more minutes, and sigh in frustration.

"Why aren't they answering?"

"Maybe they've gone out," the cameraman says.

You bite your fist into your mouth and take out your phone.

You punch the call button on the first contact you see.

"Hey, Y/N !" Hoseok replies.

"Why aren't you answering the door? I'm outside."

"You came already? Why didn't you warn us? We're having breakfast at a nearby restaurant."

"You're having breakfast without me?" I say incredulously.

"Were we supposed to starve until you arrived?"

"Hyung, there's a camera over here, don't make me swear at you."

Hoseok cackles and hangs up.

He then sends you the location of the restaurant.

Good.

It's not far.

You are about to leave, but you immediately catch sight of your reflection on a glass door.

The so called ' mask ' has wrinkled and it's crumpling all over you.

What in the world had you been thinking?

You fish some wet tissues out of your backpack and rub them into your face.

The sunscreen rips free off your skin easily and you touch the soft surface of your cheeks.

"Wow, I should try this more often," you say to the camera.

After a short walk you catch sight of the restaurant Hoseok told you about.

It's pretty nice, next to the shore and all.

You unconsciously fasten your steps, eager to finally meet them.

They're sitting all together around a big table and they seem so happy, talking and making jokes with each other.

It pulls at the strings of your heart.

You hadn't even realized how much you missed them until now.

You break through the crowd of people, maneuvering with your suitcase right at your side.

The first one to notice you is Jimin, who stops mid - talking and smiles so widely, his eyes turn into crescents.

"Y/N!" He yells.

"Jimin-ssi!" You yell back.

He gets up from the table and breaks into a run, straight at you.

You are frozen into place when he jumps and wraps himself around you like a koala.

Your hands find his back, holding him into place, and you squeeze.

"What took you so long?" He asks, your hair muffling his voice.

"Traffic was horrible,"you say through a smile." And hyung, why are you so light? Have you been eating well recently?"

He lowers himself onto the ground and ruffles your short hair. The length is right below your neck, more like a bob, so his action makes it stand in all directions.

"I have been stuffing my face like a pig," he continues." Just like you do."

"Tell me something I don't know."

You catch him in a headlock and ruffle his own blonde head.

The others get up from the table as well, welcoming you with warm smiles.

You first hug Jin and then proceed to do the same with Namjoon, Hoseok and Taehyung, who to your surprise is getting all teared up.

"No way!" You say, a mix of shock and amusement on your face.

"Kim Taehyung is crying for me?"

"No, I'm not," he says and sniffles.

You laugh out loud and pull him into another hug.

"Do you know how many times Jungkook beat me playing Overwatch?" He continues with a whiny voice.

Your eyes flick to Jungkook, who is looking at the both of you with a cocky smile. You shake your head in exasperation and attempt to free yourself from his arms but he refuses to let go.

"Hyung, you're choking me," you croak.

"Oh right, sorry."

He releases you and offers a boxy smile, not a trace of sadness on his face.

Damn it, he's a good actor.

Pulling off the most normal expression you can muster, you move on to Jungkook.

He still has that stupid smirk on his face, so you close the distance between you in two long strides and lift him up by his legs. He's caught off guard, but he recovers quickly and tips his head backwards, laughing out loud.

"We have ourselves another muscle pig!" Namjoon exclaims.

Still carrying Kookie, you contemplate whether putting on a show of carelessness was the best thing to do.

You had tried to look all nice and comfortable being close to him, but now you were having second thoughts.

You put him down and plaster another smile on your face.

"I think I broke my back."

Hoseok wheezes.

You take a seat and start nibbling at the food lying on the table.

"Hey, hands off, that's mine! " Jin complains as you take a bite out of the delicious pizza.

You take another huge bite, just to spite him.

"So, how did your trip go? " Asks Hoseok.

"Well" , you say with a mouthful. " I went all the way to Daegu just to give Hyun-Woo a present.

Came back here, took the bus and here I am."

"How long did it take for you to find the building and all that?" Asks Jimin.

"About fifteen minutes, I guess."

They all stare at you.

You stop chewing.

"What?"

"We wandered for about two hours yesterday and we even split into two groups, so we could find it more easily."

You resume chewing and shrug.

"I'm good with directions, I guess."

"Oh and by the way, you're gonna have to choose a room for you to sleep." Says Taehyung. "We'll see who you'll get coupled with."

"I hope I get the single room, " you say and barely swallow.

You didn't like the sound of this.

What if you got coupled with Jungkook?

You steal a glance at him, and see the way he has stuffed his cheeks with food. For some strange reason, you couldn't stop staring at his longish curls.

He had decided to grow his hair out and you couldn't deny that it suited him perfectly, even though you would never admit such a thing in front of him.

Then, out of the blue his eyes flick to yours and he catches you staring.

"What?" He says.

You narrow his eyes at him.

"You have tomato sauce on your chin."

[o-dasaku]

i was wondering if you could explain the descriptions on your fgc posts and how they relate to the characters? i'm v interested

oooo for sure

don’t you (forget about me) > don’t you try and pretend, it’s my feeling we’ll win in the end. 

this one’s kind of obvious, the back half of the lyric is my brot3 tag for blamtina - they’re altogether hopeful kids that go through some (a lot of) shitty times. they’ll come out on top in the end, they’re sure of it.

here comes the sun >  here comes the sun and i say, it’s all right.

it’s a metaphor!!!!!!!! dani’s the sun, you fools!!!!!!!!!!! i don’t want to say that santana spent all of s4 hung up on brittany, but santana spent all of s4 hung up on brittany. i have no doubt she hooked up with her fair share of beautiful ladies, but she definitely didn’t date - i don’t think it’s because she was waiting for brittany to dump sam (okay she was, but not so they could be together again), i think she genuinely just didn’t feel super comfortable with it - she never really dated brittany, they were best friends and then they were girlfriends too and santana doesn’t want to leap into that minefield for the first time with just anybody.

enter: daniella perea, struggling musician who picks up a job at spotlight to help pay the bills and gets along with everybody, which is fucking rare because 90% of that diner’s staff are broadway divas in waiting (and santana) so people take notice and santana doesn’t want to like her, but she does. she really does.

so moving on from britt is hard and it’s scary, but it’s alright. she has dani. they’ll figure it out.

creep > i want a perfect body, i want a perfect soul.

i almost picked like twenty different lyrics here because it’s a Very Them song, but i feel like this speaks very well to their characters: this lyric is rachel in a nutshell, she doesn’t just want to the best, she wants to be perfect. it speaks to brody because it’s the antithesis to him: he doesn’t care to be perfect, he just wants to be himself (who, lucky him, happens to be very talented).

sidenote: i think brochel really work on that level, rachel challenges brody to want to be better while brody can remind rachel that being less than perfect is perfectly okay. i’m still sad about how they treated him.

never can say goodbye > though i try and try to hide my feelings, they always seem to show.

listen, i hate to draw riverdale/glee comparisons, but quinn’s veronica lodge. you want fire, cheryl bombshell? sorry, but my speciality’s ice. quinn wants to be cold, wants to be this untouchable ice queen but-

she just isn’t (just like veronica, funnily enough). quinn fabray feels so much and isn’t that just the worst? i don’t think quinn wears her heart on her sleeve the way so many characters on this show do, but she feels things very strongly, much to her own annoyance. whether or not the world sees isn’t really up to her either, as much as she wishes it was.

(on the riverglee comparisons: santana is cheryl, puck is reggie and sam is archie. i know people cast finn as archie but ehhhh. i don’t have anything super solid on anyone else, but rachel is probably betty and kurt is probably kevin (i’m not saying that because they’re both gay, more “i exist solely to prop up betty/rachel when needed”). jbi is evelyn from the farm and i will hear No Arguments on that.)

being alive > i’ll always be there as frightened as you to help us survive being alive.

i’ll be honest, there is an infinitely more kurt line in this song (someone to crowd you with love/someone to force you to care/someone to make you come through) but um, this is literally one of my top 3 musical theatre songs and that lyric is one of my absolute favorite lyrics ever, musicals or otherwise. 

but this line does relate to kurt (and blaine, i guess- this song is clearly meant to implicate him- for the first time, i really know what it means) well enough. i know there’s a fuckton of kurt and death meta but i don’t claim to know him well enough to make sense of any of it so we’ll look at this very shallowly - i think kurt experiences life quite differently to the normal person, and we can owe that to his mother’s death or the long term bullying or whatever tickles your pickle, but he does seem a little... removed, i think. i don’t think he’s afraid to be alive, but i do think he has a long list of reservations about being alive. i think that’s where blaine generally works for him, because blaine is so alive - even if he’s scared to death about it (see: sadie hawkins, the slushie incident, literal depression), sometimes. 

i’m not here to shit on any ships, but i do wish i shipped klaine more. oh well. i’ll always have s2.

i feel pretty/unpretty > i was told i was beautiful, what does that mean to you?

i know this is a quinn line (and a very good one at that), but i find it interesting when i apply it to both of the girls. quinn and rachel are both very beautiful, though in clearly different ways - and they both have trouble believing that. or more accurately, quinn finds herself beautiful but not her self. 

anyway. i wonder if quinn’s parents ever called her beautiful, before she was quinn. they seem incredibly shallow, even if judy develops away from that - i have a headcanon that lucy was very close with their pastor (not...in a creepy way jdsdlaks) and he was pretty much the only positive interaction she had with any elders until after quinn was a thing but ANYWAY he always told lucy that she was a beautiful person but only tells quinn that she looks lovely. that informs a lot of this performance (especially this line) for me. anyway. whatever.

so to rachel: her brief interactions with her fathers make me think that she grew up being told she was beautiful quite often, but then her peers are always telling her differently - i have no doubt that places more esteem in her father’s opinions, but i’m sure that being told two different things would confuse the fuck out of a kid. quinn was likely spearheading the “crazy berry is ugly” craze in their freshman year, so. i don’t know. the what does that mean to you? is an interesting question for that line of thought.

being good won’t be good enough > i’ll be the best or i’ll be nothing at all.

please, she said emphatically.

everytime > every time i try to fly, i fall; without my wings, i feel so small.

listen. what a marley mood.

it’s all coming back to me now > there were things i’d never do again, but then they’d always seemed right.

rachel Fucks Up A Lot. we been knew. i do think she learns from a lot of her fuck-ups (not all, see: leaving nd for cabaret and then leaving funny girl for that’s so rachel), but she did genuinely think she was doing the right thing a lot of the time (see: telling finn about drizzle’s true paternity and robbing puck and quinn of that opportunity) and i don’t think she’d change much, if she had another chance - she just wouldn’t go repeating the bare majority of fuck ups.

hand in my pocket/i feel the earth move > and what it comes down to, my friends, is that everything’s just fine, fine, fine.

listen, considering this is their proposal song, i would’ve hoped for something a bit more meaningful. but i do think that there is something to the simplicity of this song, - brittany and santana are happy. they have no issues this season (outside of britt’s bridezilla tendencies) and as much as they’ve always been the type to get their feelings out via song (see: landslide, songbird, mine), they’re definitely at a point where they can just. talk about their feelings.

their song is simple because they are too, finally. what it all comes down to? they’re fine, fine, fine. :P

human nature > see that girl? she knows i’m watching, she likes the way i stare.

another song i almost picked like, five different lyrics for lmao. while the others spoke nicely to characters, this lyric is quite indicative of their mid-s3 relationship (mercy is still w shane, sam’s trying to push in on that) and uh, i think this is an unpopular opinion. so. hang tight, kids.

while mercedes and sam were certainly attracted to one another, i think there’s a few more things at play here: sam likes being in a relationship, knows that he and mercedes could be good together and he’s trying to recapture being sixteen again, so dating the girl he’d been embarking on something with is a pretty great way to do that. mercedes? i think she likes the attention, likes actually being noticed. she likes the way he stares, basically. (i’m dropping lyrics into explanations now, sue me.)

crazy/u drive me crazy (you guys are all on notice for letting this flop, btw) > tell me i’m not in the blue, that i’m not wasting my feelings on you.

marley’s spent all episode being warned against jake, but i think it’s interesting that she’s basically seeking him out here and asking are they right? his response leaves something to be desired (tell me i’m the only one you’ll see) but at least it’s a conversation they’re having? it does speak well to marley for the rest of the time she’s on the show - she’s best when talking her issues/concerns out (see: her eating disorder v her wanting to stay abstinent, neither end well for her but she seems more at peace with the latter) while jake is. jake.

(i love jake always!!!!!!!!!!)

and finally, need you now > guess i’d rather hurt than feel nothing at all.

i changed this like, twenty times. the alternative was their ship tag (and i wonder if i ever cross your mind/for me it happens all the time), but i think this speaks a lot more strongly for their characters than that does to their relationship. puck and rachel are both very all-or-nothing characters, but 99% of the time they’re going to pick all. it fucks them over a lot of the time, but i don’t think they regret it much.

[shidoukanae]

Sorry if I'm late! What about Shoichi for the ask meme?

@vrainsarcvlover

Nah, if anything I’m probably late because I’ve barely had time to write this all out in the past couple of hours (*sweatdrop*)

Also I’m glad you liked my Akira and Ema headcanons lmao ^^

1. gender/sexuality headcanon: 

Bisxual although I feel he leans more towards men more than he does women.

2. otp:

ShoichixYusaku and ShoichixEma.

With Yusaku, it’s almost obvious. Those two only have each other in the world - with Shoichi seeming to have no other form of family present and with Yusaku missing his for reasons yet to be clarified. Even though they’re both confidants to each other they’re also extremely close to the point that their lives are almost inextricably intertwined.

With Ema, I see him constantly being teased by her and made the focus on her antics and suggestions. I see him as the type that, before he falls for someone he’s just like ‘oh, they’re cool’. However, when he falls for someone it is a FULL-ON crush and he’s like a lovesick puppy. Ema, naturally, would take amusement in this and play little mind games to suggest her affection. They both have a mutual interest in protecting Playmaker and it’d be interesting to see them working together towards a common goal and it wouldn’t be hard for them to get along with each other considering they already respect each other. 

3. favourite friendship/brotop: 

Something I hadn’t considered before but Shoichi and Akira. Both of them have people in their lives that they care for (Yusaku and Aoi) and who are the sole family they have left. They’d be good friends in that Akira would be in awe of Shoichi’s lack of care for legality whereas Shoichi would be willing to teach Akira how to code (probably so Akira can try and impress his sister/a certain pink-haired woman *shot*). That said, they’d both sympathize with each other when their individual children start acting like rebellious teenagers and would probably be the ones to console each other when Yusaku and Aoi throw hissy-fits of frustration towards their benefactors. 

4. first headcanon i think of: 

When Yusaku is upset or when he simply wants to annoy the boy, Shoichi will play the “Weenie Man” song. This both serves as a way to lighten up Yusaku’s mood if the boy is grouchy and also as a way of irritating him when Shoichi wants to pester him. 

5. something we have in common: 

We’re really friendly and amiable people who are chill and relaxed in what we say or do. We’re also very teasing and playful towards people we’re comfortable with and are probably the most open to listening to other’s problems if only to lend an ear.

6. something we don’t: 

Uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh man, for some reason this is a particularly hard one to answer. Not including the fact that Shoichi has a missing sibling, that he’s a hacker or that he runs a hotdog stand or anything like that…hmm. It’s not that I don’t have anything in common than him it’s more like nothing comes to mind that contradicts me when I think of him? I guess in this case I’m going to be predictable in that Shoichi has someone he MUST take care of (Yusaku) while I’m more taken care of by others because I am a oblivious person who gets herself lost and confused more often than not (hell, I got myself lost today even though my mom gave me specific directions on how to get to my destination. I made it, thankfully but maaaaan should I never trust my instincts ever again)

7. cinnamon roll or problematic fave: 

For now, he’s a perfect cinnamon roll. Later, thought, I suspect he’ll become a problematic fave. Right now, Shoichi is a character who we can almost deem as “perfect”. He supports the main protagonist without regrets or negative thoughts regarding Yusaku. He’s pure-hearted and a man of justice who has skills that probably rival that of the legendary Ghost Girl’s. 

The literal fact that he has no need for character development right now (considering he’s already allies with the protagonist, he already has a use in the story, he’s good and pure-hearted and pretty much the most perfectly well-off character out of all of our cast so far) means we’re going to see him go into a down spiral sooner or later. Most of the fandom is already suspecting that we’ll see Shoichi ‘fall from paradise’ and I suspect that their suspicions are correct. Compared to everyone else, Shoichi is the happiest character despite all the baggage he carries. He strides through his problems with ease and, while it’s refreshing to see a character with problems take them in stride, it’s going to get stale after awhile. Shoichi has no need for positive development right now - instead, what he needs is negative character development. 

It can come in many forms but, most prominently, it’s going to begin with him backstabbing Yusaku. If you make Shoichi turn against the only person he cares about, if you force him to decide between ____ and Yusaku and the former is more tempting than the latter…Shoichi’s going to break. He’s going to have to destroy himself, to make bad decisions because, if he doesn’t, his character isn’t going to change or need repairing. He’s a pure cinnamon roll right now, he has no need to grow past any flaws. Instead, Shoichi needs to gain these flaws. He needs to distrust and turn away from Yusaku, to become selfish instead of selfless and to turn away from ‘good’ to pursue ‘self-interest’. Shoichi, just like everyone else, is not going to be let off the hook. He can’t stay fluffy and precious forever. I’m almost certain the show will change him and his personality by the time we’re done, enticing him with the golden apple of temptation and plunging him from heaven to hell as one of the show’s most problematic faves.

8. overall opinion:

The hotdog man is actually super cool despite the fact he mostly sits on the sidelines of the action. Despite the fact that he’s almost perfect as a character, he’s really appealing and I’d love to see more about him and why he’s so willing to support Yusaku. His past with Yusaku (and, by extension, his brother) fascinates me and I’m keen to learn more about him and his relationships pre-show. Also, I’m totally in 100% agreement that he’s going to turn from good to bad and I’m almost excited to see such a transition from kind and loving Shoichi to bitter and resentful hotdog man (and thus joining almost everyone else in the cast as a very salty human being).

[essayofthoughts]

For the headcanons: Wanda, Pietro, Clint, and Natasha! (because I'm predictable af and also i want to see what different ones we come up with for the twins! :D

send me a character and i’ll tell you:

Wanda Maximoff

1. 2-4 songs that are probably on their iPod

I can’t say exactly? But probably something like Ammunition by Aviators, a song about protests and how, when you have no weapons, you are the weapon, the ammunition against those who would oppress you. The song is in English, so I imagine Wanda has a similar song in Sokovian.

… Okay, I may just give in and be Aviators trash, because my next two suggestions of things that Wanda might have on her iPod are again, things like Aviators songs. Namely, Bulletproof, the importance of ideals and continuing those in the face of those who would crush you down, because you might fight and you might die, but the ideas and ideals you’re fighting for, the desire for freedom and for justice you yearn for is something bulletproof, that cannot be killed.

The next one is for after the experiments, Aviators’ We Are Not Machines, a rising denial in the face of someone trying to turn you into a tool, a refusal to be what someone else makes you - not a weapon in their hands, but a weapon in your own hands, of your own choices and not some simple input-output  machine - for you are a person, not a machine. I imagine that a song like this would also gain additional meaning to Wanda on meeting Ultron and on meeting Vision - Ultron who is constantly fighting against what he was made to be and in doing so, allowing that to shape him, and Vision, who knows how he was made and what he was made to be and yet is simply… not. Is simply his own. Is, because of all of this, not a machine.

Last song… hmm. IAMX, My Secret Friend. U will understand Nell. U will understand.

2. the one place they sometimes end up falling asleep — where they’re not supposed to

Less, “Not supposed to” and more “others frown at it”, Wanda often falls asleep against her brother, sitting beside Pietro and just tilting her head to his shoulder and sleeping, or after nightmares when he comes to see if she’s ok, falling asleep in the comfort of a hug.

After he’s gone, Wanda falls asleep in the shower, the warm water and the noise dulling the grief of her mind and giving the illusion of a warm presence. Vision finds her like this, some late evenings.

3. the game they’d destroy everyone else at

Truth or Dare or Never Have I Ever

Wanda has no fear because Pietro has always been there to protect her, and even when he isn’t anymore the lingering strength and certainty it gives her, the fact she has had that strength to fall back on all her life and yet often tried not to in order to keep Pietro safe and well means she has a confidence in-and-of herself that means she’s unafraid of a lot. Also, living on the streets kind of means she takes a practical view of a lot of things.

And then for the truth aspects - Wanda can tell when people are telling the truth with her powers and I imagine that even before the powers she had a knack for reading people and understanding them in a way Pietro always lacked. In turn, I imagine Wanda has a knack for telling almost-truths, that are truth enough that people will take them as truth, but that allow her to hide things she doesn’t want to talk about extensively.

This would make her rather hard to provide counselling for, I fear, as well as the fact that I don’t think she’d trust anyone enough to talk about even the least of her issues with.

4. the emoticon they’d use most often

That depends on who she’s messaging and when. Usually it’s just “frownyface” but Stark occasionally gets a middle finger emoticon (and if one doesn’t exist I would point out that with the Avengers she’d probably use a Starkphone and if Tony Stark designed it then it 100% has a middle finger emoticon. Because Tony Stark Would).

5. what they act like when they haven’t had enough sleep

If just “without sleep” then quietly grumpy, somewhat bitchy (very bitchy, according to Pietro but he thinks it’s amusing) eventually tapering off to just conking out wherever is comfortable enough.

If caffeinated and sleepless: very very giggly, Laughing at the oddest jokes the weirdest puns and also things that are not jokes or puns but that are, to her sleep-deprived brain, very amusing.

6. their preferred hot beverage on really cold nights. or mornings. or whenever.

Tea. Herbal tea, black tea, green tea. She uses chamomile, mint and lavender for headaches, spiced black tea with a lot of milk to wake up, green tea when she needs to think. She’ll drink coffee if she has to, for the sake of pure biting caffeine and also because the taste is so foul it always wakes her (no matter how much sugar she adds and she finds this infuriating), but her fallback is always tea.

7. how they like to comfort/care for themselves when they’re in a slump

Before the events of AOU she’d curl up beside Pietro and talk to him about whatever it is happens to be niggling inside her brain, whatever is worrying her and making her doubt and loose sight of their goals and Pietro would pull her from it and pull her into a hug and possibly go off and “find” her some chocolate (whether he found it or stole it depends on how much money they had at the time and how much he cared about “stealing will get you killed Pietro”. The worse off Wanda seemed the less he cared about the latter).

After the events of AOU, she curls up in her room or in her chair or at the bottom of the shower and tries not to get lost in the twisting grieving paths of her own mind. Sometimes Vision finds her and says something so wholly unexpected it makes her laugh and consider and pulls her from it. Other times Steve alerts Clint who proceeds to drop by and go “right, come on, holiday time. The kids are begging me for a barbecue and no one knows how to make that sauce for the lamb skewers like you do” and drag her off to the farm. Lila and Coop and little Nathaniel Pietro Barton pull her from her slump more quickly than anything.

8. what they wanted to be when they grew up

Free. Safe. Well. Secure. With Pietro. With their vengeance completed. In Sokovia.

And now Sokovia’s capital is a hole in the ground because of her actions, their vengeance has been shed in the face of a bigger threat, Pietro is gone, and any hopes of safety and security and freedom and wellbeing were stolen from her with the Accords and the Raft.

9. their favorite kind of weather

When you are high up enough in the mountains, or ringed by them, the sky can be clear and yet you are shaded, and though it is sunny it is softly cool.

When the weather is this mess of contradictions it reminds her of Sokovia, of Novi Grad, of home, and sometimes she needs that.

10. thoughts on their singing voice (decent? terrible? soprano? alto?)

She can sing and sings softly, she sang lullabies on those rare occasions Pietro had nightmares and woke her, she sings lullabies to Lila and to Cooper and to Nathaniel Pietro Barton when he is fractious, and she sings them in soft Sokovian, so softly that only Vision can really hear all of the words.

She can sing louder, but too often she has had to sing quietly unless she be found by those who would do her harm. 

11. how/what they like to draw or doodle

Wanda can’t draw much. Oddly enough Pietro can, and after his death, Wanda doesn’t dare try for the rising, grieving memories of her brother.

Pietro Maximoff

1. 2-4 songs that are probably on their iPod

So uhh… I’m gonna give in and pick Aviators songs like songs Pietro would have liked if they were in Sokovian.

First of all, Lowborn by Aviators - the hope of rising against impossible odds, of even those at the bottom finally getting recognition and all that they have earned. I mean. “Honor means nothing when war is unfair/ We’ve come here to battle and return to nowhere” and “I’ve nothing to lose, with no debts left to pay” and “The gods have not listened /Though prayers turned to cold-blooded screams” and “Vengeance igniting the fire in my blood” I mean. Goddamn Aviators.

In many ways, Pietro is the more cynical of the twins - he’s had to be, to keep Wanda safe, and so the next song is Aviators’ Welcome to Paradise, which has a lovely thread of “oh, you thought there was hope here?” throughout. I mean. “A wishful thought won’t take you far/ When hell on earth is where you are”and “Our lives are on the line/ In ruins we strive/ We’ll never thrive/ Without the will to survive”. Goddamn Aviators.

Next, This Means War by Aviators. Which is a song they wrote specifically for AOU. I am horrendously predictable. The song is a rush of fighting and having to fight and “a world worth fighting for” and my gods. It’s Pietro racing and the entire Battle of Novi Grad. 

Lastly, Diamonds and Guns by The Transplants. I don’t know why, but this song has always felt rather Pietro to me.

2. the one place they sometimes end up falling asleep — where they’re not supposed to

Um. Pietro is a hard case to judge because well… Look do you honestly think he’s going to sleep if he has to watch over Wanda. He sleeps when exhausted or when Wanda makes him, so the place he falls asleep when he’s not supposed to is like for half an hour outside the backdoors of the Bakers and the Butchers who he runs deliveries for. The managers open the door and hear a thump as Pietro falls over because the door is gone.

3. the game they’d destroy everyone else at

It. Obviously. Even before his powers he was fast, and with his powers he is uncatchable. And, with his speed, he can search and find you in a fraction of the time it would take you to find him and once you’re it good luck catching him. Your best bet is waiting for him to fall asleep and we all know how he is about that ^^.

4. the emoticon they’d use most often

In Sokovia he never really had a phone and so had no use for them. Then he died. 

If he was still around, however, probably the built in “middle finger” emoticon that all Starkphones come with as standard. That said, he does make use of that one Japanese emoticon - ✿＼(｡-_-｡) (“i got your flower”) - whenever Wanda wants to go and fight someone. It is saved in his phone for regular use.

5. what they act like when they haven’t had enough sleep

He never has enough sleep. He sleeps in fits and starts and has done this for so long that he’s functional. The question is What does he act like when he has had enough sleep.

The answer? Like a… mostly normal person, actually. Not reckless, not (quite) as ADHD. I say mostly, however, because he won’t have had enough sleep for long - his dedication to Wanda’s safety makes sure of that.

6. their preferred hot beverage on really cold nights. or mornings. or whenever.

Not a hot drink! Pietro prefers orange juice, no matter what. He does exercise when he wants to warm up, as he always has the energy for it.

7. how they like to comfort/care for themselves when they’re in a slump

Pietro is rarely in a slump; he has his focus on keeping Wanda safe and so he subsumes just about everything to this one purpose, no slump lasts long when he has the eternal focus of making sure Wanda is safe, that they have enough food and a place to sleep that night, and can get to their jobs in the morning and survive each protest with minimal police brutality.

The only time Pietro is in a slump is when he fails to protect Wanda, and that rapidly turns into guilt and a desire for vengeance (“I’ll kill him”) which is only tempered by Wanda (“No, no, I’m all right. I want to finish the job.”) who is the only one who can redirect him when he’s like this.

Pietro comforts himself by taking care of Wanda.

8. what they wanted to be when they grew up

Safe, Happy, with Wanda and with their vengeance completed. In Sokovia.

He dies before he can see any part of this, and gives up on vengeance in the doing so.

9. their favorite kind of weather

Rain. While Wanda likes the bright-shade sunny-cool of the mountains, Pietro likes the rain and the snow, but mostly rain because he finds it so so refreshing.

Also it makes Wanda laugh when he shakes his hair to try to get the worst of the water out.

10. thoughts on their singing voice (decent? terrible? soprano? alto?)

He can sing, but only does so for Wanda. Mostly old Sokovian lullabies.

11. how/what they like to draw or doodle

Draws kind of mechanically - not for artistic reasons but so he can have a visual representation of something. While Pietro’s memory is fantastic, he trusts Wanda’s recollection of things more than his own because Wanda will read things in the behaviours of other people that he’ll miss. So, instead, he draws out scenarios and situations from memory so Wanda can name the ones they know and tell him what each was thinking and who they’ll need to be wary of. He also draws the faces of the people who attack them and burn down the flats they stay it, so the twins can track them down, and do the same to them.

Fair’s fair, after all.

Clint Barton

1. 2-4 songs that are probably on their iPod

Right. Okay.

Love To Hate You by Erasure, because of course. Every time he and Natasha have any kind of disagreement when on a job with SHIELD he’d start playing it at full volume. To which Natasha would respond “ITS NOT SAFE HOUSE IF THEY CAN HEAR US THREE BLOCKS AWAY CLINT”.

All the same, its their theme song, because they are one another’s dearest friends (and possibly have been lovers at some point maybe I don’t know) and also they sometimes hate each other, mostly for being right.

They’re Taking The Hobbits To Isengard. I don’t care if this is a meme, you cannot tell me that Coulson or Fury or Natasha didn’t play this at him at full volume (I mean. He is hard-of-hearing) at some point.

Probably the ten hour version, to be honest. Clint thought it was jammin’ and now will sometimes be found singing it under his breath.

2. the one place they sometimes end up falling asleep — where they’re not supposed to

In the Quinjet. At the controls of the Quinjet. This is why he almost always pilots with Natasha.

He may or may not have also fallen asleep on stakeout at least once.

3. the game they’d destroy everyone else at

Darts. Obviously.

4. the emoticon they’d use most often

I don’t care if they’re not real emoticons, he’d probably have a Starkphone and his favourite emoticons would be a high five one and fingerguns.

5. what they act like when they haven’t had enough sleep

Trying not to nod off. Unless he’s had caffeine pills, in which case he’s trying to stay still. When dealing with a baby at home, Laura has vetoed the use of caffeine pills and so, instead, he makes do with very very very big cups of frankencoffee.

6. their preferred hot beverage on really cold nights. or mornings. or whenever.

Coffee. Specifically, frankencoffee, aka, “so what happens if I have this coffee and this coffee and then also some chocolate and some cinnamon and oh is that butterscotch syrup, yeah, sure, and oooh, Laura won’t mind me borrowing half a bottle of peppermint essence and oh look we also have orange extract-” until he has a pint mug of the most unholy thing you could ever drink.

And I say this as someone who created coffeetea for all-nighter essay writing.

7. how they like to comfort/care for themselves when they’re in a slump

Spends time with Laura and the kids, and sometimes takes the kids out to a paddock where she shows them how to shoot. They’re getting almost as good at him at regular archery, but he dreads what Laura will say if he starts them on trick shots too young.

What he doesn’t know is that Lila and Cooper are already practising trick shots, just without him around.

8. what they wanted to be when they grew up

“not arrested” I think is the closest. Then he was arrested, and Coulson said, “so, hey, would you like a job?” and then he was SHIELD, and though he got arrested many times after that they always got him out.

… though after he brought Natasha in Coulson did leave him to stew in a cell for almost two days before going to fetch him. But Clint thinks that’s fair payback for bringing in a possibly-evil opposing agent when tasked with killing her.

9. their favorite kind of weather

Sunny, clear, not too windy. He can hear more easily and he can see for miles, which really helps with his archery.

10. thoughts on their singing voice (decent? terrible? soprano? alto?)

Clint can… kind of sing? Laura calls it a “warble”, mostly to tease him about the bird thing. He mostly sings to their kids, though he has been known to serenade Laura on occasion.

11. how/what they like to draw or doodle

Angles for shots when he’s got to stakeout and snipe.

Natasha Romanoff

1. 2-4 songs that are probably on their iPod

Tachikovsky’s 1812 Overture. Because cannons and also Russian. In The Hall Of The Mountain King because she kinda likes the ominousness.

I Knew You Were Trouble - the Gollum version, because memes, and Pocketful of Sunshine, which she considers a “Laura Song”.

2. the one place they sometimes end up falling asleep — where they’re not supposed to

You think that Clint climbing through vents is bad? You’ve never had to deal with Natasha falling asleep in them.

3. the game they’d destroy everyone else at

Any drinking game. The only one who could beat her is Vision, except Vision doesn’t generally drink, because he doesn’t need to. That said, the twins come close, as did Stark, before he decided that he really needed to cut back on the self-medication via alcohol.

4. the emoticon they’d use most often

Is there one for a frownyface with one raised eyebrow? That’s Natasha’s fave.

5. what they act like when they haven’t had enough sleep

Absolutely normal until the moment she keels over. Common procedure with SHIELD was to debrief her and give her one cup of coffee, as soon as the coffee was finished, debriefing would be delayed until she’d got some sleep.

6. their preferred hot beverage on really cold nights. or mornings. or whenever.

She doesn’t really have a preference; the chance to have options is her preference and she’ll generally go with whatever her tastebuds are craving at the time, unless it would blow her cover.

7. how they like to comfort/care for themselves when they’re in a slump

Visiting Clint and Laura and the Barton kids.

8. what they wanted to be when they grew up

A ballerina. Not a Black Widow-Ballerina, an actual Ballerina. And she could have been, if not for the Red Room. Now she just wants to make sure that people don’t do that to more kids, and that kids who’ve been shaped so don’t get a chance to destroy the world.

9. their favorite kind of weather

Cold, crisp, biting winter snow.

10. thoughts on their singing voice (decent? terrible? soprano? alto?)

Natasha Does Not Sing. Not ever.

11. how/what they like to draw or doodle

Sometimes she sketches things, not really thinking.

Almost inevitably, its things from the Red Room.