#i've accepted my death

[destinyandcoins]

ALSO the show draws a very clear line between how Ed acts when he's upset and processes his emotions and how Blackbeard acts when he's gone off the deep end.

Ed repeatedly retreats, hides himself somewhere safe, and tries to process his feelings of inadequacy and hurt. we see it when he hides in Stede's bathtub, when he hides in the blanket fort, when he leaves dinner at Mary and Anne's to curl up on the sofa under a blanket. FURTHERMORE we see Ed post-Kraken turn in s1 and in the first episodes of s2 crying alone in the captain's cabin, sighing wistfully over the wedding cake toppers, and just generally being a sad little lump of a man who is hurting

the violence Blackbeard displays is only ever in public, performative. He cuts Izzy's toe off in s1 to announce his return to this aggressive, violent persona that Izzy has demanded of him. He pushes the crew to violently raid ships and gets in Frenchie's face to intimidate him and shoots Izzy and makes Archie and Jim fight each other. and part of that is him pushing them to kill him in a way he can't bring himself to do (he always outsources the big job), but it's very important to remember that the way Ed reacts to being left by Stede and the way Blackbeard is being violent and traumatizing the crew are two different things entirely.

one is a reaction to being left by the man he loves and feeling unlovable, and the other is the direct result of being told he needs to be a monster and an extended performance of being that monster (and way of shielding himself from the threat to himself Izzy presents at the end of s1).

Ed and Stede are both men desperate to be seen and understood for who they are and not what people have told them to be. Stede tries to create a pirating environment that embraces softness and talking about your feelings, but he's still so caught up in running from himself and his problems that he has to go home and fix things with his family before he can truly live that way. Ed is suffering and feels like a monster because he's been told his only worth is being this fearsome pirate persona, and being that thing hurts, so he makes sure everyone else becomes that thing and hurts along with him.

it's not until the final episode that Ed realizes being a fearsome thing doesn't have to hurt, being capable of violence doesn't mean you are a monster, sometimes it's a thing you are (a thing you do) to protect the ones you love. you're not a dick, life's a dick; you're not your father just because you're capable of violence, you're a man who has something worth fighting for

[seance]

WHO AM I TO YOU? I AM THE ANTICHRIST TO YOU.

[thepiecesofcait]

Tis the season.

[juneiper-art]

"We're going to make it through this, promise me..."

Welcome back Dragon Age fandom

[iamfuckingsorry]

So like... do you think Kim Kitsuragi is a clingy motherfucker if he's really, truly comfortable with someone?

I mean like, obviously he isn't. His entire personality is centered around not letting anyone ever see the truly damaged parts of his soul. He's hiding some of the shit from himself as much as from anyone else. No matter how close to someone he gets he's never gonna be comfortable reaching that deep into his mind and memories and pulling this kind of stuff up for everyone ("everyone") to see. But there's just something so tempting about seeing him drop all his walls, not being on his guard at all, pulling his partner into a quick hug every time he walks past, stealing his clothes from the hamper because that's when they smell the most like him, buying all the dumb shit that reminds him of his partner and not ever stopping to think if it was silly, tightly wrapping himself around him when falling asleep, all the tiny little shit all the time (but only in the privacy of their home and his mind), because for once he feels safe enough to just be whoever he is. Not even whoever he wants to be, just... Whoever he is, flaws and fucked up past and broken dreams and all.

Obviously he isn't, but what if he was?

[blackholefriends]

take care of this for me, won't you Darling?

Virtue and Darling for friends at the table pinup week prompt 5: a hint of violence

[cuteniaarts]

Mirror, mirror, on the wall...

Who's the fairest of them all?

[caluupin]

Father!!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥

[captainofthetidesbreath]

also before we start to head into the first of two very scary (honored) upcoming episode titles and loglines here on Midst, I do wanna say that I have squared myself with every single character dying. Do I think EVERY character will die? Not necessarily! But, I have accepted ALL of them as a precaution, for lack of a better term. Just in case.

I've made my peace with all of their deaths. Some of them will make me sadder than others, but I've come to terms with it and I will persevere and move on. Definitely something poignant to be had with each of them, and I am ready to meet them all bravely and prepared to engage with what everyone's individual deaths add to this narrative.

That said, the one who will actually devastate me most if they die is actually, by fucking far, Phineas. I guarantee that I will cry for real about that one if it happens.

[spotsupstuff]

you can say whatever you want about Downpour as far as consistency and faithfulness to the og vanilla lore goes, but nobody can convince or tell me that Downpour hasn't given some fuckin BOMBASTIC world building for RW. there's two i especially really really love

the first one being the whole fact that??? there's subways on TOP of the iterators?????? i mean FUCK i knew they were fuck off BIG but it didnt occur to me on such deep level as when i found out that there's a whole damn subway system On Top Of Pebbles. SHIT i'm still havin troubles accepting the existence of roombas and segways and you're telling me these wild motherfuckers have trains workin up in da fucken sky?? the SKY???? Above The Clouds????? trains are NOT supposed to be in the sky what the FUCK. ancients!!!! videocult!!!!!! youre fucking insane!!!!!!!!!!! my Home City doesn't have a subway system and it's the largest one in the country- how fucking big is Pebbles' Metropolis holy shit

and the second one is the whole impending ice age thing

cuz here's the thing, right, here's the thing- i'm not sure how well known this is, but Earth has gone thru multiple ice ages. there's theories outside of the widely accepted normalized understanding of history that there's been civilizations before us. i believe it is Aztec myths that talk about, basically, reincarnations of the whole planet multiple times- different lives, different Cycles this small place in the universe has gone through

yes, Rain World takes a lot of inspiration from Buddhism, but there's some elements that make me think of Aztecs. certain parts of the fashion, the colors used, even the plantlife outside of those retaining walls. Rain World to me is industrialized evolution of a fusion of Aztecs and Buddhism

that is the connection between the "greater Cycle" of RW and Aztec myths, but back to the ice age- it catches me off-guard by how Giant this world building is. we are so used to seeing only Pebbles' and Moon's corner of the world evolving, all boxed in, all the concentration and focus only there and then a little tiny bit of the Outer Expanse. and then here comes videocult and drops this PLANETARY world building. the fact that it's first alluded to it at the earliest point in the story, yet the second to last campaign to us and then the last campaign thrusts us right into the circumstance of the world freezing over. a lot of peeps i've watched went thru the scugs in the unlock order- it is basically a little hint and them immediate show of the consequences. i'm going out of my way to get through these campaigns (aside from survivor and monk) in the chronoligical order from the Iterators' story stand point and it offers this Giant gap between the first drop of the information in such a miniscule little thing that can be missed and a whole story happening within a blizzard. it's Incredible

HR: I'm not really sure myself. At this point I think our rain might be the only source of heat on the surface. It has been that way for a very long time.

oh how i wonder why that is. how come? why is your planet so cold? is your star dying? are you naturally far away from your star, did you have volcanoes that now lie dead, that used to warm the surface? was there a cosmical event that warmed the planet and allowed the world to blossom- a comet taking its time to fly by, another star flying through the planetary system? or is it as simple as the clouds blocking the heat of the star from reaching the ground? that's probably it. it is fascinating how the Iterators' created their own "balance"- take the water away, breathe it in and then let it all fall. but they are so Integral for this "balance" that the moment too much of them fall, the clouds that are left doom the whole planet to frost and a reset. despite how imposing, infinite that they are as man-made gods, they are also such a fickle link keeping the world in a sickly "equilibrium"

either way, that promises another greater Cycle, another attempt to try again. this time surely with the Scavengers as the buds of new civilization, once the clouds fully fall away

and will they remember the Iterators? the old temples? the void might eat it all away before they get to have the chance to archive the skeletal remains of ancient past. who knows, maybe Secluded Instinct gets to become that mountain, the future they found comfort in

Rain World is such a fascinating detailed game, with such a gigantic timeline, leads to make you wonder about both the past and the future. it's sad that the world as we know it ends, but, just like everything else within the game tries to say, it is only just another thing to accept and live in- live through- and find enjoyment in it

because everything passes and the world doesn't care as it flows on, but the truth of loving, joyful experiences stays firm. that is the only lifeline one needs to hone

all of these thoughts just from a long long blizzard

[transingthoseformers]

Okay upon further thought it would've been so fucking interesting to see how MECH regarded Shockwave.

Just... Imagine them meeting Shockwave by chance, that would be such a terrifying scene for them. He'd have opinions on their projects, morality varies based on how one is writing Shockwave, but just. Imagine that. This also fits for Hazard but this post is for more than just the tfp au

Like also consider how CYLAS was on the Nemesis from s2 ep19 to s3 ep8, so a fairly significant while. CYLAS fascinates me for so many reasons and I feel like it would've been so fucking interesting if Shockwave noticed the pretty obvious Frankensteined together technoorganic (which MECH must've done well enough for CYLAS to live as long as he did with relative ease compared to all the other things that could have happened)

[running-in-the-dark]

today would have been my dad's 76th birthday 😔

[feliz-navidad]

hm

[hairtusk]

sinéad...

[grandmaster-anne]

19 September 2022 State Funeral of Queen Elizabeth II at Westminster Abbey © ITN

[antilocaprine]

kiss prompt 47 please? 👉👈

(Kiss Prompt List)

This is it. The Final Kiss Prompt. I finally got them all cleared from my inbox. We climbed this whole mountain. Everyone give yourselves a pat on the back. (And a thousand thanks to Peach, who helped me brainstorm a plot when I was drawing a blank on this prompt.)

47: ...out of spite.

Gordon hit the ground with a clang like a cymbal crash, and Bubby booed from the top of the ladder.

“Hurry up, Gordon, we’re going to be late!”

“It’s - I can’t - I only have one hand, dude!” Gordon flailed the bloody stump in the air. Bubby huffed and rolled his eyes.

“Excuses, excuses,” he said, then looked over his shoulder and darted away. “Tommy, stop that! I want some!”

“Christ,” Gordon hissed, letting his sweaty forehead rest against the cool metal railing with a thunk. 

“hey, wow, what’s wrong with you? can’t even…d’you need to uh, download a ladder pack? huh? need a skill check?”

“I will fucking murder you,” Gordon replied in a conversational tone, not moving his head.

“that’s not very nice,” Benrey muttered. “can you, uh…can you move, then? so i can go?”

Gordon turned around and thumped his shoulders against the ladder rungs, squarely blocking the way as he leveled a glare at Benrey.

“No. Fuck you. You can fucking - teleport, or some shit. Did you forget I saw you drop out of the goddamn sky earlier? Go do that.”

“huh? no i didn’t.”

“Yes you did, you motherfucker! I saw you! There was a cactus there!”

Benrey smirked. “that doesn’t sound right. i don’t like, uh….cactuses.”

“It’s ‘cacti,’” Gordon snapped. 

“what is?”

“The plural of - of cactus.” Gordon felt like he was losing control of the conversation, but forged on regardless. “It’s not cactuses, it’s cacti.”

Benrey shrugged. “okay. weird. can you move, please?”

Gordon leaned back harder and awkwardly crossed his arms as much as he could without dripping too much more blood over his one remaining hand. “No.”

Benrey hummed, glancing up at the platform the other scientists had already scaled, then looking back at the tunnel they’d all just come through. “okay, fine,” he sighed. “if you let me up i’ll, uh, give you a kiss.”

“You’ll - what?” Gordon nearly choked.

“you heard me.”

“I wish I didn’t,” Gordon replied weakly. “Why do you - in what world would that be an incentive to me?”

“i dunno, man,” Benrey shrugged. “you’re the one who keeps, uh, eatin’ my balls. sayin’ my voice is pretty. i’m just -”

“Your voice is not pretty,” Gordon interrupted. “Your - it’s the sweet voice, the - the singing -”

“i’ve heard you,” Benrey said mildly. “no take-backs.”

“It’s not a take back, okay, it’s - I never said that in the first place, it’s you putting words in my mouth -”

“you wish i put stuff in your mouth,” Benrey muttered, and Gordon sputtered at him. 

“Why would I even want to kiss you, huh? Because I don’t. At all.”

Benrey glanced at the top of the ladder again, and Gordon tipped his head back as well to make sure the others weren’t poking their heads over like a peanut gallery.

“i guess that makes sense,” Benrey said, and Gordon looked back down to see him inspecting his nails. He kept losing and regaining the chipped black nail polish, to the point that Gordon wasn’t sure it was even real - but he had it now, and seemed unperturbed by the cracked state of his nails. “i mean,” he continued, “i wouldn’t want to kiss someone this good if i was, uh, that bad.”

“Excuse me?”

“s’common sense,” Benrey shrugged. “you prob’ly don’t have the, uh, skillset for that either. gotta…level up first. ladders, kissing - you’re really…not prepared for all this.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Gordon snapped, flailing his good arm at Benrey. “Don’t tell me I suck at kissing when you - you don’t know shit!”

“yeah, well, you’re obviously scared to, so…”

“I am not scared to, okay, I just have no desire to - you - you’re the one who brought it up!”

“what, are you thinkin’ bout kissin’ all day?”

“What? No!” Flustered and confused by the direction this conversation had gone in, Gordon spun around and grabbed the ladder again, kicking his foot up and starting to climb. But he’d only made it three steps before his boot slipped on a rung and he barked his shins on the railing as he was forced to let go and drop back to the floor with a clang.

Gordon glared at the offending rungs at the base of the ladder. He wasn’t sure if it was his or someone else’s, but something had recently dripped enough blood on the bottom two rungs that the boots of the HEV suit were slipping - and without the balance of two hands to hold himself up, Gordon was at a disadvantage.

“wow, don’t hurt yourself,” Benrey said from behind Gordon, and he hunched his shoulders and fought the urge to rip the ladder off the wall and beat Benrey to death with it.

“Shut up,” he said instead. “Shut the fuck up, don’t -”

Somewhere above them, something exploded. Gordon flinched and glared up at the top of the platform.

“Fuck, we have to get up there.” Then he turned and looked at Benrey - at his two good hands, and his one good gun. “What am I saying, I’m useless in a fight right now. You have to get up there; they might be in trouble.”

“yeah? well, let me by, then.”

Gordon’s mouth twisted in distaste, but he stepped aside. “Ladder’s slippery,” he said as Benrey trotted past him.

“uh-huh,” Benrey replied scathingly, and scurried up the ladder like a fucking lemur.

“Goddammit,” Gordon snarled, and followed him laboriously, setting both feet before moving his hand, keeping his severed arm tucked close to the chestpiece of the HEV suit.

More gunshots echoed overhead, and Gordon even heard a couple bullets sing by as they flew over his head. Another explosion rattled the ladder and he had to pause and just hold on as concrete dust and rust flakes rained down on him from the ceiling. All in all, he was pretty fucking pleased with himself when he hauled his sore body over the top of the ladder and collapsed onto the platform.

“Two out of ten on the dismount,” Bubby’s voice yelled from several yards away. Facedown on the concrete, Gordon raised his hand and flipped him off.

“why not one out of ten?” Benrey asked, from slightly closer.

“Well, he’s not actually dead,” Bubby replied, then there was a whoosh of flame and his cackling grew more distant.

Gordon growled and dragged himself upright in stages. He swayed on his feet for a moment until his head stopped spinning, then walked carefully away from the bloodstained ladder. Benrey stood with his back to Gordon, idly spinning his gun around one finger. The others appeared to be further down the single corridor. At least Gordon didn’t have to make a choice on which way to go: he could just follow the explosions.

Benrey glanced up as Gordon drew even with him. “wow, good job completing the ladder level,” he droned. “tomorrow we’ll, uh, start on stairs.”

“You’re a fucking asshole,” Gordon said pleasantly. “What happened to the kissing level, huh?”

“nah,” Benrey shook his head. “you’re way too, uh, underpowered. gotta level up more before you could even try to hold your own.”

Gordon snorted. “Is that so? And what - what evidence is that judgment based on, you dick?”

“i know things,” Benrey said primly. “gordon freeman sucks at kissing. everyone knows that.”

Gordon’s jaw clenched, and he darted a glance down the corridor to make sure it was empty of both friends and foes. Once he knew there were no witnesses, he reached up and snagged Benrey’s jaw, tugging his face around and up.

“bwuh?” Benrey said.

Gordon ducked his head and kissed him with spiteful intensity. He pulled out all the stops, working their mouths together, darting his tongue out to dance across the seam of Benrey’s lips, then biting Benrey’s lower lip and tugging it sharply as he pulled back. When Gordon straightened up, Benrey sagged against him, both hands gripping the HEV suit like he would fall down without its support.

“Don’t even try to score that, I know it was ten out of ten,” Gordon said, trying to disguise his hammering heartbeat. Benrey looked too dazed to notice anything - he was flushed bright red and his eyes were glassy and shocked. Gordon snorted and unhooked his hands one at a time from the HEV suit. Benrey swallowed, then stepped back, still holding the pistol in one hand.  He gave it a halfhearted twirl and fumbled his grip.

The pistol went off, firing up at an angle. A moment later, a bloody pigeon smacked into the concrete and bounced, leaving a puff of feathers where it hit the ground. Gordon and Benrey both stared at it.

“i, uh…i didn’t mean to do that,” Benrey mumbled.

“It happens to plenty of guys,” Gordon said, his voice only slightly strangled. “Nothing to be ashamed of.”

He could only keep a straight face for a moment, though. It lasted until Benrey turned a betrayed expression on him, and then he had to take off, whooping laughter echoing off the corridor walls as he hurried after the rest of their group.

Benrey would follow him, Gordon knew that. He would watch his back, if only to try to get revenge for the kissing thing later. And if it involved more kissing…well. Gordon touched his lips, still grinning. Maybe he wouldn’t mind that.