#i've even seen freaking tiktokers being compared to him

[idiosyncraticrednebula]

I'm glad the era of comparing any guy with mildly dark hair (sometimes they even scratched that) and a white shirt to Eric is finally over 💀

[ghostedgwen]

I’m in love with your TikTok blurbs! Do you plan on doing one where the reader buys those TikTok leggings that make your butt look good? I would die to read Peters reaction to seeing them! Maybe the reader told Peter she was going to the gym, she really didn’t, and when Peter came home and saw her in those leggings he freaks out a little bit but he’s more turned on than anything.

[5] p.parker tiktok blurb

note : thank you so much!! I'm glad you enjoyed them as much as I did making them <3 I actually did plan to maybe write one for that trend, this will only be semi-nsfw, hope you enjoy!

warning/s : sexual innuendos, implied/referenced sex, established relationship, horny hours idk (obv, don't read if this type of content make you uncomfortable.)

𝖯𝖾𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝖾𝗌 𝗍𝗈 𝗌𝖾𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗂𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖳𝗂𝗄𝖳𝗈𝗄/𝖠𝗆𝖺𝗓𝗈𝗇 𝗅𝖾𝗀𝗀𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖺𝗇𝗍𝗂𝖼𝗂𝗉𝖺𝗍𝖾 𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖼𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇.

They finally arrived! It took them a week to arrive and you were very excited for two reasons: one, to see Peter's reaction to it and two, to see how hot you'd look in it.

Getting to see Peter's reaction was only a bonus, you got them with the full intention of spoiling yourself. It was pretty hard sneaking the package in, specially that he'd be suspicious if you refused to unbox it in front of him.

And even if you didn't - he'd ask what it was and it's not that your privacy wasn't valued, just because a thing for you two to be comfortable enough to not hide anything.

You technically knows he's a part-time superhero, pretty sure all secrets compared to that are not even worth keeping at this point.

He's currently at work and he'll be home any minute now so you rushed unpacking it and putting it on. The fabric was so comfortable and it fit like a second skin.

You walk in front of a mirror and your eyes doubled their size, holy shit, you look hot. Even you could admit that you looked as tempting as dessert right now.

There was no time to take pics and commemorate this moment in history when you heard the front door open, you hurry out of the bedroom and set up your camera behind two pots.

Going around the kitchen and continuing what you were doing earlier - you just finished cooking and all you need to do now is do the plating.

"I'm home, babe." Peter called out.

"Welcome home!" You greet, he's probably shrugging off his coat.

"You went to the gym earlier, right?" Peter asked, walking into the kitchen, and he abruptly paused in his tracks.

"Yup, how was work?"

He failed to answer, making you hold back your laughter. He drank you in, in those leggings and a sport bra, and he very much likes what he's seeing.

"Work uhh - work was uhh. . .work is - " He stammered, eyes glued to your ass and not even being subtle about it. "Work was - oh wow."

You accidentally let a snort slip past you - reaching for a plate and turning to him with a raised brow. "What?"

"I've never seen you wear those before." He tells you, you take note of the intense eye contact.

His tongue darts out to lick his bottom lip and eyes you up and down.

"It's new." You shrug and he nods at your reply.

"You should maybe wear it forever, from now on - " He smirks and you laugh at that. "I'm serious."

"You're ridiculous." You laugh at him, rolling your eyes half-heartedly.

"Your ass is already great, I love your entire being - but those, are something else."

You can't help laughing even more now, putting the plates down to not drop them, and you turn around to start serving the food. He approaches you, arms wrapping around you from behind.

"This is a nice surprise to come home to, after work." He says, his lips very close to your ear, and you hum in agreement. "And you didn't actually go to the gym, did you?"

"Nope. Gotta let you see it first before I show off to the whole world."

"Not sure how to feel about the whole world getting to see all of this." Peter whispers in your ear and you had to remind yourself you're preparing dinner - before anything else happened.

"Yeah well - that's my choice." You nudge him with your elbow and he steps back to let you walk around, plates in hand, and he helps set up the table by grabbing glasses and following you to the dining room.

"I really do mean it, you look amazing as always, babe." He grins and you kiss him, briefly pulling away.

"Thank you." You grin at him. “Now eat the dinner I prepared.”

“Don’t mind if I do, this smells great.” He sits down then turns to you with a sly smirk. “I know just what I’m having for dessert.”

[batarangsoundsdumb]

guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough

[sh3llysh00]

Can you give some scenarios of chimerica being cute? Because my US (Sébastien) isn't much of a huger but china (liu yao) really is. I love comparing headcanons like this ^-^/♡

Of course!! :D This kinda ended up being a mix of both scenarios and more headcanons ^^

- I've never researched into the famous couple "Bonnie and Clyde", but I've seen a few au's of different couples as that dynamic, and I think chimerica fits perfectly into it as well. Like, you CANNOT convince me that chimerica isn't the peak partners in crime dynamic/scenario

- They'd literally pull a huge heist, get away with it flawlessly, and go on an ice cream date afterwards

- To the public, Ame is very animated and loud, but WILL kick the shit out of someone, and China loves that about her, genuinely :) Ame also has insecurities built up and obviously has flaws, but China feels honored to see all of them for who they are.

- China is sorta the opposite? To the public, he seems all business, sorta snobby, and neutral all the time. He does have a sense of humor and hospitality of course, but it's rarely seen. But like Ame, he also has his own passions and things that will just get him excitably rambling. Ame likes to get him to talk about the things that make him most happy, because, to them, it's really when he "shines."

- They both absolutely adore cooking. China is a funomenal(?) cook, he can even make some pretty stellar gourmet recipes. Ame is more of an above average home cook. Sometimes she'll find some random obscure cooking hack online, and immediately show their boyfriend, who more times than not, is unimpressed. Still, he'll always try these random tiktok and instagram recipes Ame has prepared for him to taste.

- I dunno what a wedding would look like, I kinda wanna have them married in my headcanons, I mean they've been dating for 30+ years, but I think I'll keep that for mutuals or private dm's 🏃🏃

- Little bit nsfw?, but Ame likes to count all the little Golden freckles on China's body. Fun fact: all his freckles are actually tiny speckles of stars if you look close enough :] Ame freaked out once she found out, haha

- We already know Ame loves food, and China does as well. He doesn't eat to such an excessive level as his girlfriend, but he enjoys making and eating food. It gives him comfort

- So yeah, you can bet their favorite thing to do together is go out on a date to some restaurant together <3

- I haven't mentioned it on here, but I do have a chimerica fanchild OC, who has a kinda elaborate backstory, so uhh let me know if you want some domestic chimerica headcanons