#i've had this sitting in drafts forever to see if my feelings changed

[aduckwithears]

Periodically, it hits me like a ton of bricks that this scene exists:

With the windows framed as their wings, the hand fluttering to the back, the most emotionally devastating kiss ever to be filmed...

I am still not well.

[leezlelatch]

Comfort From The Eldest

This is something I've had in my drafts forever. It was written after I had a really harsh interaction with a coworker, and I hope that it provides the same level of comfort to you as it did for me when I was having difficulties. Female reader. Fluff, comfort, protective papas.

Primo 

You almost feel ridiculous for being upset. It’s not like you did anything. It was the other party. But you feel awful. Every part of that conversation is ringing in your head and won’t let go. Someone took their anger out on you because they were hurting, you realize that. You know they didn’t actually mean it, but you can’t help the hurt that’s sitting in your gut like a rock. 

You sigh as you sink into Primo’s preferred chair in his little observatory. His telescope sits mounted beside it, eye toward the heavens. Maybe you should take a peak. Look at something beyond you, bigger than you, to make your problems seem smaller than they are. 

“Petal?” Primo’s deep voice echoes through the space, startling you. 

You look up to see him standing inside the doorway. He holds a book to his side, his other hand carrying a cup of tea which steams into the air. His reading glasses sit perched on his hooked nose. He isn’t wearing his paints, his wrinkled and hawk-like features on display for your weary eyes. Primo’s beauty is a balm. 

“I am surprised to see you here, sweet petal, but nonetheless delighted,” he continues, sweeping into the room to set his cup down on a pretty flower doily on the surface of his desk. “It does an old man’s heart good to see his preziosa.”

“I like it here…this is your space,” you say softly. 

“You know you are welcome at all-,” he pauses as he turns away from his desk, his eyes sweeping over your form. 

“What happened?” His tone has changed immediately. It’s sharp, coiled, ready to strike. 

“What do you mean?” You try to laugh it off, your lips curling into a smile, but to your own ears it sounds hollow. 

Primo moves toward you in a way that sends a shiver straight down your spine. It’s quick, straight, so unlike his usual unhurried gait brought on by age. He kneels beside the chair with no more than a small huff and takes your hands, his eyes searching yours. The white of his left eye looks narrowed, as if it sees more than you can comprehend. 

“You look so sad, amore mio. Your Papa may be old, my darling, but he is not blind. I know every tick of that beautiful face.” 

Your eyes burn and you try to look away, but long fingers capture your chin, keeping your gaze. Primo’s expression melts into a soft smile, his fingers sliding up to trace the curve of your cheek. You immediately crumble and tell him everything, the former Papa wildly attentive. He squeezes your hand when you begin to choke up, he nods along with your words, and he never interrupts you. 

Primo pats your legs when you finish, “Up, petal,” he says, waiting for you to move so he can sink down into his chair with a soft groan. He holds out his arms and you gently fall into his lap. He nuzzles into the side of your head for a moment before reaching out toward his telescope. 

“Let’s see,” he murmurs. He peaks into the lens, adjusting it here and there before a satisfied “ah!” leaves his lips. “There we are, petal, look here.” 

You look at him for a moment, his smile encouraging, before you look through the lens. You see a beautiful star, shining in the sky, likely thousands of light years away. 

“It’s beautiful,” you say, smiling at him. 

“It’s you,” he says. “I named it after you. After my brightest star, who brings me happiness beyond anything I could have ever imagined. Who is kind, loving, and clever. Unfortunately, she has to put up with un vecchio coglione.” 

“Oh, hush,” you laugh through a fresh bout of tears. “Primo…” 

You wrap your arms around his neck, kissing his lips. 

“I love you,” you say. 

“And I love you. Now…tell me who this…bastardo was again?” 

Secondo 

Secondo sits wearily at his desk, gazing down at the report from the recent restoration project of artifacts found within an abbey in the mountains of Italy which possibly point to an early Satanic organization the current institution can draw roots from. The name Emeritus appears on a portrait of a man dressed in a bastardized version of medieval Catholic vestments, and Secondo is heading the preservation and research project to determine whether the man is an ancestor of the Emeritus line or if the name merely signifies the man's retired position. 

A hesitant knock on his door tumbles Secondo from his thoughts and he gazes with a heavy brow at the dark oak, willing it not to open, but after several seconds, the knock comes again, and he blows out a breath between his teeth in frustration.

"Enter." 

The door creaks open, and Secondo need only see the sleeve of your sweater before his body is relaxing, a pleased smile crossing his features as you come further into view, peeking behind the door with those eyes which captivate him wholly, and that mischievous little smile the man greatly enjoys kissing from your face. 

"Enter? That tone says otherwise," you tease, slipping into the room and shutting the door firmly behind you. 

Secondo harrumphs, tilting his head back a little, pinning you to the spot with his heavy gaze that never fails to send a thrill shooting from your heart to...well, other more enjoyable places.

"Perhaps I do not wish to be disturbed, la mia piccola interruzione," he says.

The shining look in your eyes is snuffed out in an instant, your body growing taut with anxiety. He watches with muted horror as you practically curl into yourself, your feet already moving you back toward his office door, your hands wringing fretfully in front of you.

"Am I really disturbing you? I'm so sorry, Papa," you say in a tone Secondo never wishes to hear again. Full of diffidence and self-doubt.

His chair hits the wall behind him when he stands up, his robes fluttering around his form as he quickly rounds his desk. Fingers desperately reach for you, a panicked look in the usually stoic Papa's eyes as he draws you into his embrace, his hands cradling your head to his chest for a moment before he's tilting it back, his palms smoothing back your hair while he searches your gaze for any hint to your distress. Your façade quickly crumbles, tears springing to your eyes, and you attempt to turn from him, but Secondo's hands hold fast, not allowing you to break from his gaze, from his hold. 

He would hold you forever. 

"Tell me. Tell me, il mio tutto. What has happened? You know I would never," Secondo pauses and sighs, closing his eyes. "I must be more mindful of my words. You are not just a Sibling or a member of the Clergy, you are my life. Perdonami." 

"It's okay, Seco, I'm just being ridiculous," you say with a tearful grimace, shrugging your shoulders as you look to the side. 

Secondo makes a low hum, drawing you even closer, wrapping the heavy cloth of his chasuble around you. You are immediately enveloped in his warmth and his scent, your head resting in the crook of his shoulder. He keeps you near, quietly, for a moment, gently swaying as a torrent of thoughts passes his mind. He sighs softly and shifts so you are looking into his eyes once more. 

"You, amore mio, are not ridiculous. You are the very joy in my heart. You are the warmth of the sun on my skin. I should not speak to you in any manner but that of love," he says.

Your brow furrows for a moment and then clears, realization dawning in your eyes, "Oh, Secondo, I'm not upset over what you said. I mean, yes, I was afraid I was disturbing you, but that's...someone upset me earlier. I was already feeling unwanted anyway, and..."

Secondo's pupils narrow and he cocks his head to the side, a cold smile spreading his lips as he presses a kiss to your forehead. 

"Come, dolcezza," he guides you to sit in the chair before his desk. "Sit here, and tell your Papa exactly who hurt you and where to find them."

“I love you, but that won’t solve anything,” you sigh, settling into the chair. Secondo sits on the arm, towering over you and creating a blanket with his presence. He reaches out a hand to idly play with your hair while gazing down at you with an unreadable expression, his jaw clenching. 

“What I need to solve is this issue you have brought to my attention. That you believe you are unwanted,” Secondo shivers at the thought, his hand falling to your shoulder and gripping it as if to keep him anchored. “I have done you a great disservice, and I have failed you as a partner in not addressing this sooner.”

You surge forward to protest, but Secondo silences you by cradling the back of your head and pushing you into his lap, resting your head against his thigh as he continues to speak. “I love you. Perhaps I do not say it enough, but I have never known such happiness other than the precious moments we have spent together. You have given an old man hope. I want you. I need you. I think about you and crave your touch when we are not together. I ache to hold you, to look into your beautiful eyes, that sweet face. Please, amore mio, my everything, do not think you are unwanted. I am nothing without you.”

You take in a shaky breath, your fingers gripping his chasuble, as you whisper your love to him in a voice thick with tears. Secondo cups your chin and lifts your head from his lap, his smile soft, but eyes sharp as a knife. 

“Now, be a good girl and tell your Papa where to find the fool who hurt il mio tesoro?” 

“What if it’s my own brain?” You ask with a weak laugh. 

Secondo leans down to place a featherlight kiss to your lips. “Then I will fight it with patience, love, and the stubbornness of an old man.” He winks. “I’ve been fighting mine for years.”

[intrepidacious]

✩ upcoming wips

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i haven't been posting a lot lately because i'm a slow writer and life has been kicking my butt but i've wanted to let you take a peek at what i've been cooking up in the background!!

what little attention i have at the moment has been going into time after time but there's a lot of ideas constantly swirling around in my head and i've wanted a place to put some of them. shockingly, these aren't even all of my wips. yeah, i know.

this is just a snapshot of the most prominent fic ideas i've been working on at the moment which means that plots and especially titles might still get changed. also i'm not committing to any sort of schedule with these so keep that in mind :')

please feel free to ask questions about any and all of these and i'll do my best to answer <3

✩ one shots

a smile that cold - ransom drysdale x f!reader - au inspired by daphne du maurier's rebecca - (well, mostly by its musical adaptation, which is great) - i'm going full gothic/seasonally spooky vibes in this one - tropes: widower remarries, mystery, dark-ish (well, there's murder), perhaps a hint of spice - status: mostly done, but still missing a chunk in the middle

to home afar - bucky barnes x freader - the guernsey literary and potato peel pie society au - (oh yes we're going there) - i love this book and this au so much but i just haven't had the time to focus on it - tropes: 40s!bucky, dad!bucky, writer!reader, one (1) broken engagement, fitzsimmons appearance, hints of epistolary storytelling, pen pals to friends to lovers - status: about halfway done, still missing some connective tissue

all that's been (and all that won't) - bucky barnes x f!reader - buffy the vampire slayer au - tropes: slayer!reader, vampire hunter!bucky, friends to lovers, inspired by me rereading all the vampire knight manga so if you know those you'll see the twist coming, canon-typical violence - status: conception phase, some scenes written

stay here forever - 40s!bucky barnes x f!reader - a continuation of first date, last night - this was a plan ever since i posted that story and yet - tropes: friends to lovers, mutual pining resolved, tfa!bucky, kinda angsty, will probably get another part … - status: mostly written, missing connective tissue

just for spite - bucky barnes x witch!reader - originally inspired by a moodboard by @treatbuckywkisses - this has been sitting in my drafts for an embarrassingly long time - might end up being a collection of loosely connected one shots - tropes: post tfatws!bucky, practical magic vibes, there's a cat, slow burn? maybe? - status: first part done, some more scenes written

death becomes him - steve rogers x grim reaper!reader - inspired by a mix of meet joe black, elisabeth (the musical, not the movie), the fairy tale godfather death, and the show dead like me - this is such a weird idea and i need to write it so bad - tropes: canon-compliant-ish, slow burn, artist!steve, will probably include time jumps, dark-ish for obvious reasons - status: random scenes written

tomorrow - steve rogers x reader - inspired by the river song storyline in doctor who - (yes you read that right) - i love using my most random au ideas for steve, i think this works so well and i'm so excited about it - tropes: opposing timelines, kind of slow burn kind of established relationship, goes through steve's entire mcu timeline - status: scenes written, writing time shenanigans is tiring if that's all you do though :')

ghost light - lighthouse keeper!steve rogers x reader - (yeah) - this one is so random but i cannot stop thinking about it - tropes: retired!steve, maybe a little angsty but it's fine really, either writer!reader or barista!reader - status: vibes and like two paragraphs

mirror's image - endings, beginnings!frank x reader - fic based on "why'd you only call me when you're high" by the arctic monkeys - tropes: fwb, drug consumption, angst and spice, idk if this will have a happy ending or not - status: about one third done

✩ series / AUs

dear heart, it's me - anthology based on the amazing devil's album "the horror and the wild" - listen for vibes 😌 - will probably posted for a milestone celebration - pairings include: stucky, bucky barnes x reader, natasha romanoff x reader, wanda maximoff x reader, jefferson x reader, steve harrington x reader (more tbd) - status: one fic stuck in revision, three more started, real excited for one additional one atm

nothing else will do - continuation/expansion of my rewritten drabble - think medieval-ish fantasy vibes, once upon a time with some princess bride thrown in there - pairings include: outlaw/pirate!steve rogers x reader, knight!bucky barnes x reader - status: lots of daydreaming and some random scenes put onto paper

occupy my brain - continuing these two drabbles - ransom drysdale x reader - there will be at least two more chapters but i am aiming to keep this one short and sweet - status: it’s more or less planned out, if only someone would finish writing it down that’d be great

come fly with me - introducing my pilot!bucky au!! - i’m not sure where it came from either but i’m having fun and it grew out of my control fast - series of connected one shots within the same universe - (i also have plans for sam and steve with this one!!) - status: not a priority rn, but i have a couple of ideas floating around my brain

read you like a book - library au!! - you’ve already been introduced to this universe’s bucky and steve and i love them dearly - status: again, not a priority at the moment but they’re coming

something bout you - beloved - ngl returning to this one is probably gonna hurt but i still want it to exist - college au steve rogers x reader - this is my childhood friends fake dating au that i made up for ren - status: hopefully i will return to this one day after tat is done

i feel awkward tagging people in this but do feel free to reblog this and do tell me about your favourites lmao okay have a nice weekend 🫶🏼

[another-fantasy-world]

Grim Reaper's Apprentice

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Title: Grim Reaper's Apprentice

Pairing/s: Rosalie Hale x GN! Reader (Romantic), Alice Cullen x GN! Reader (Platonic), Bella Swan x GN! Reader (platonic)

Summary: in which two lonely mystical creatures find peace and comfort in each other as fate deemed it to be

Warnings: Not detailed violence but violence nonetheless. My own shitty take on Grim Reapers.

Additional Tags: OOC characters, fluff, I am so sorry I haven't watched twilight in a while vurabhvrbhabvr

Reader Pronouns: I think I didn't put any pronouns for the reader honestly-

Word Count: 3358 words

Author’s Note: It's been sitting on my drafts for too long and I've not written for the twilight fandom in so long so I decided why not?

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Grim Reaper. A being that is said to bring nothing but an ill omen.

You didn't really think you'd have the pleasure of meeting the spiritual being and live, but you did. And now they took you in as their apprentice. Which was terrifying at first, but you made it out just fine. And now you also had the ability to gather souls and make their whole life flash before their eyes.

You love your job, you really do, but sometimes it can get lonely. Your guardian was busy, moving from one soul to another and they certainly need your help, which you gladly provide, but you need someone you can talk to, someone who had a mortal life once.

And you found what you were looking for in a blonde girl whose soul was due to travel to the other side of the veil. How? You didn't know, you never knew, you just knew when they'd die and what they did in their life when you watched their memories.

It may be an invasion of privacy, but you have to do it, and over time you were numb to it all. You always ensured that you only showed the happiest memories to those who didn't deserve to die but those who did? You made sure they regret their lifetime of decisions.

This time, a name suddenly wrote itself upon your book, a list of names whose souls need to be retrieved and guided before the end of the day. And while a name suddenly popping up in the middle of a job isn’t unusual, the fact that it’s glowing an elegant shade of gold is. 

You quickly guide the ordinary soul through the veil and once that’s done, you allowed yourself to dematerialize and assemble to where the soul was. 

And there laid the most beautiful creature you have ever laid your eyes on. You, however, didn’t get to stare at her for too long because you felt a crushing pain in your chest. You gritted your teeth as the pain reverberated and spread all throughout your body. Rosalie’s memories start forcing their way inside your head and you are reliving her life just as she is.

“Child. One wished that fate would allow your meeting with your fated half in a pleasant way, but one sees that it is not the case. You must make a choice, one’s dearest apprentice. Would you allow her soul to pass through the veil, or would you allow her to live as a Cold One?” You feel your mentor’s bony hand on your shoulder

You weighed each option carefully, Once a soul passes through the veil, it experiences the best treatment it could wish for. Basically, heaven as most mortals prefer to call that phenomenon. However, you would never be able to see her again. But if she becomes a cold one instead, she would have to live with the pain of having to consume blood. You had a feeling she would consider that a curse instead.

“Ah, it seems you are too slow when it comes to decisions child.” 

Your head shot up at the sound of someone’s footsteps echoing from within the dark alleyway, a cold one. Are they looking for a meal? You scrambled to your feet and attempted to push the blonde man off your fated one, only for you to phase through him. You felt dread quickly filling you up, She doesn’t want this. No one does, she doesn’t deserve to live with the memories that’ll forever haunt her. 

Perhaps he’d just feed on her? Or will he change her?

But isn’t that a good thing? You’d have a chance on getting to know her? After all, you’d be contented with just being in her presence. 

“Child. One understands your turmoil, however, you must not be too reckless and hasty. Gaze into his eyes little one.” Your mentor sighs as if exasperated by your antics

And so you did as they asked, gazing into this man’s golden eyes. Ah. 

“Oh.” you pouted slightly, embarrassment slowly replacing the dread

“As you can see, she’ll be…relatively safe with the Cullens.”

“Do you know him?”

“Why yes, of course. One was supposed to claim his soul but he turned into a cold one before one had the chance to steal his soul.” Your mentor’s cloak shook as if the body under it shrugged

Your mentor’s making your job sound so much more terrifying and evil than it actually is, making you look at them with a scrunched-up face.

They sigh, “She will be safe with the Cullens, you have sifted through his memories so you should know firsthand what he truly is like. One also gives you permission to follow your fated one around when you finished guiding your set amount of souls every day. However, you must remember, child, you are not strong enough to appear in front of those who walk in the mortal plane just yet.”

You know that. You’ve been trying to get past that hurdle for who knows how long. Grim Reapers take souls who have experienced great pain and suffering yet remain neutral, as opposed to the good souls that go up and bad souls that go down, as apprentices. And you were one of the new ones, barely able to force souls through the veil. This is why your mentor always gave you the easy ones.

“Do not worry young one.” Their bony hand petted your hair, “With your work ethic, you’re going to gain that skill in the next few decades” They then turned around, that signature scythe lazily draped over their shoulders.

“Besides, if you manage to capture souls before they turn into cold ones or a creature of the night, you might lessen your sentence.” 

And so you did just that. You gently guided kind souls to their destination, helping them fulfill their last wishes before moving on. You not-so-gently kicked cruel souls into your soul jar and threw them through the veil. Your method made your stoic mentor laugh so hard their jaw fell off… literally. 

You also (creepily) romantically followed Rosalie around as she navigates through her new life as a cold one. She was particularly attractive when she killed those who led her to her death without even spilling a drop of blood. Only the Gods above and below are witnesses to your feral fawnings over your beloved. Well, except maybe for the souls of the very same men your beloved just killed. They were already in your jar so it’s not like they had any say in it. 

So that was how you spent the next few decades, following Rosalie around to make sure she’s safe, doing your job, and practicing how to solidify so that you can finally attend that God-awful school in Forks, where Rosalie and her family are trying to blend in with their God-like looks and their dazzlingly golden eyes. Florescent they say. 

You can’t help but laugh as (your brother-in-law) Rosalie’s brother weakly try to explain and defend himself from his blood singer and fated one. 

“Hmm. Bella Swan huh. I remember a soul whose last wish was to name his granddaughter after his wife Bella… I wonder…” You shrugged it off, maybe it was a coincidence. 

“Woah! So you really are here.” You jumped and screeched when a pixie-like being suddenly appeared beside you. 

“Alice? You can…see me?” You waved your hand back and forth in front of her face

“No. I can’t see you. But I’ve seen this vision so many times that I have memorized it down to every last second.”

“Oh.” 

“Oh indeed. So tell me, who are you and why do I see you with Rosalie in almost every vision I get. And yes I know the answer I just want to hear you say it.” 

“You can’t even hear me.” You sighed, before trying to materialize and succeeding, but you feel yourself struggling and you knew that your time with her is limited. 

“Hello.” You tested it awkwardly, then laughed slightly when Alice’s eyes lit up as she bounced on the heels of her feet.

“You’re prettier than when I saw you in my vision-” she then grabs your hand, lightly gasping “You’re cold!! Colder than us, at least.” You chuckled, loving the cheerful attitude that was directed toward you. 

“I’m glad that at least one of the Cullen’s like me at least.” You grinned

“I don’t just like you, oh no. We are going to be best friends. And I will be setting you up with Rose sooner or later… Preferably when you can permanently make yourself solid.” She giggled, pointing at your now fading body. 

“Oh.” That was the last word you muttered before running out of time, which made Alice laugh gleefully before turning to return inside where her family was waiting for her. 

You wondered if they heard your conversation whilst floating to them but it turns out that they were quite worried for Alice since her presence suddenly disappeared. You noted that as one of the things you’ll ask your mentor once they come by for their check-up on you every decade or so.

Days pass by as more trouble finds its way toward the Cullen family, the center of it all would be one Bella Swan and you suddenly found yourself swamped with work, so you could only be there when a certain crazy blonde-haired vampire bit Bella Swan. 

“Do I really look like that?” Bella whispers to herself as she gazes down at her convulsing body

“Yes, you do. Now, do you see why Alice insists on taking you out shopping?” You suddenly phased through one of the pillars in her childhood ballet studio. 

You just came from Italy, guiding a huge group of souls with 2 more fellow apprentices after a coven feeding. It was easy but tedious and tiring. When you saw that 2 names suddenly written themselves in your “souls-to-fetch” list, you were baffled to see Bella’s name along with some random white dude named James.

Bella took a ghostly step back as you fixed your clothes, ignoring the fighting of Edward and James in the background. She was clearly startled by you but she composed herself quickly

“Excuse me? Who are you? Are you…like a ghost?” She then glances at your scythe and you see her slowly put things together. 

“Wow, I can see the cogs turning in your brain-” you spin your scythe around for fun then made it vanish, winking at her before floating towards her “-No, I’m not a ghost. Yes, I am a grim reaper, one of many. And No. You’re not going to die… yet. As if Edward will let you die. The guy watches you sleep for fucks sake.” You huffed out, before shutting your mouth, realizing that you’ve done the same every night, granted that Rosalie never slept… only pretended to do so. Perhaps that doesn’t count.

You see Bella’s soul glow bright red in embarrassment, a tell-tale sign that she’s not meant to be taken through the veil just yet, for she still feels emotion and is still attached to her mortal body.

“Ew, he’s going to suck your blood now, so you’d probably feel a vacuum-like feeling, don’t worry, just let it happen. It’s your body dragging your soul back. Nothing to worry about. Now shoo!” You pushed her towards her body, laughing when her ghostly feet tripped and she fell on top of herself, which prompted the process of soul-attaching. It was just a goofy sight of the soul swirling around like a vortex as they get sucked into their mortal body.

“That’s always hilarious.” You wipe the figurative tear off your eye.

“Now what am I going to do with you.” Your eyes turn into slits as flesh slowly melted off you, revealing the classic bony grim reaper look, your scythe slowly materializing in your hand as you slowly turned towards James, who was struggling to keep himself together since he did just get dismembered and burned into ashes.

He tried to speak but you slashed your scythe into the air once, making stitches appear on his mouth, stitching it shut. He then realized his circumstances and with his dwindling attachment to the mortal plane, he ran in fear. You laughed, floating eyeballs flashing red as you began to chase, toy, and play with him. Hunting him down like prey, just like he did with so many other souls. 

Your job comes with such benefits after all. 

You might’ve had too much fun with him since the next thing you knew, it was time for Fork’s Prom Night, the night wherein you planned to reveal yourself to Rosalie. Upon realizing that, you quickly jammed James’ soul into a jar and hurriedly threw it through the veil leaving whoever was on the other side with the responsibility of him as you rushed to phase to Forks. 

Upon stepping on luscious green grass, its blades still moist from the rain as you breathed in the forest-infused air, you knew that you were in the right place. However, the loud music coming from the school indicated that you were late. You sighed and let your bond with Rosalie lead you to her, your feet soon moved by themselves as gold slowly invaded your vision. 

She looked so…ethereal, yet oh so lonely sitting there. The wind pushes her hair back as she sits there, peaceful and alone.  Your hand longs to hold hers while you both gaze up unto the starry sky, just keeping her company throughout eternity. 

“Beautiful.” You whispered, watching as her eyes shot open, slowly looking around as if feeling your presence. 

“You know I can feel you right?” She softly says, her shoulders relaxing as she realizes it’s just you

“I actually didn’t.” You sheepishly say as you materialize, having practiced time and time again, you felt like this time, you’ll be able to last longer than before

“Is that so?” She smirks, before turning to look at you. 

She then blinks slowly as if she can’t believe what she was looking at. You quickly looked down and saw that in your hurry to get here, you forgot that you were still in your grim reaper outfit, with your hood down. Which meant that she saw you in all your boney gloriousness. You quickly made yourself invisible just so you could put some flesh into your bones and quickly reappeared, an embarrassed look painted heavily on your face.

“I am so sorry.” You looked away from her, biting your lip hard as punishment for the unsightly sight that she had to see

You then felt the air shift as she suddenly appeared before you, her hands cradling your face as she pulls your bottom lip to stop you from biting them. You felt your mind short circuit and you were so sure that smoke was escaping from your ears.

“Please let me court you.” You quickly blurted out, your mouth letting the words escape before your brain could fully process them.

Her eyes widened slightly, taken aback by the sudden declaration of adoration before chuckling, her face filled with glee as her eyes look at you fondly.

“Only if you allow me to court you as well.” She replies, hand intertwining with yours as she leads you to sit beside her on the bench that she previously sat at.

You two spoke for hours, basking under the moonlight as you play with each other’s fingers. Telling stories and comparing hand sizes, you also let yourself gush over her as you tell her how attractive she looked every time she struts down the hallway or how hot she looked when she played baseball, especially when she stared Bella down as she slowly got up from sliding. 

She then told you about all the times she felt your presence, which was frequent. She told you about the time she caught your boney hand emerging from nowhere to put a bookmark on the page of the book she was reading the night before while she was showering for school. She also told you about the time she felt coldness hovering over her and the time that she was sure that you punched someone for gazing at her like a piece of meat. You sheepishly admitted to it and you both laughed about it.

Soon enough it was time for her to go home and you were feeling yourself fade away.

“You don’t have to worry. Although you can’t see me, I will always be right there with you.” You reassured her when you saw the panicked look on her face. 

And oh boy did you fulfill that promise.

Your daily life now consists of appearing before Rosalie every morning, inviting her for a walk. It allows her to have time for her to organize her thoughts about the happenings that seem to only happen to her family. It allows her to rant about Bella while you take her hand in yours in silent comfort and support. It allows her to spend time with you as you practice materializing yourself for longer durations. 

Your walks always end with that one tree that you deemed as your tree, your initials, and Rosalie’s carved into the wood. You would always sit down on the cloth that Rosalie always carried with your back against the rough bark. You would then open your arms, inviting Rosalie in your embrace as she slowly melts into you. Her head resting on your chest while you place your chin on her shoulders. She would then start to read a book that you both chose with you enjoying the way her voice sounds. 

She would never admit it but she absolutely loves the way you hum directly on her ears when she reads parts that you particularly like or the way you would grunt in annoyance when a character does something idiotic. 

After perhaps 6 chapters or so, when the sun is fully out, you like to pick her up suddenly, focusing on her as you wave your hand around, your gifts, as she likes to call it, making sure that you put a bookmark on the page you left it, then making sure the blanket was nice and cleanly folded. You would then adorn her with a gorgeous gown from an era of her choice (it really depends on her mood), your black mist wrapping around her before forming into the said dress while you too adorn yourself with the clothing of your choice. 

You would then kneel on one knee, asking permission to kiss the back of her hand before asking her to dance. Her skin would sparkle under the sun, the very same sparkle that she used to loathe with her whole heart, she loves it now. Why? It was all because of your expression each and every time you see it. A child-like wonder, your eyes filled with adoration and love as you twirl her with the rhythm that only the two of you can hear. 

She could do this for all eternity, she would never get sick of it. Not even when you finally put a ring on her finger. 

While there are times that you would miss this morning routine on yours, you would always tell her beforehand, silently cursing your work and only leaving when she tells, or rather, orders you to. She understands how important your work is, no matter how time-consuming it is, she would always wait for you with a cold yet warm embrace as you cuddled the night away. So it doesn’t really bother her when you disappear at random points in time.

Why should it? She knows in her very soul that you would always come back to her, a grin on your face and sometimes you even come home with live animals from wherever you were from for her and her family. 

Being a vampire and having a Grim Reaper as a fated one may be unorthodox, but she would choose it over and over again with no hesitation whatsoever.

[scrawlingmouse]

so, nanowrimo

Writers who are both more eloquent and more established than I have talked at length about it, it's ups and downs, etc., but I figured Hey! I've got a writing blog now and Opinions on Nano! Might as well talk about it, right?

So, for starters, I did Nano about 10 years ago back in high school, and I'm considering doing it again this year. Sorta. We'll get back to that. When I did it the first year in high school it was fun! I did it with a friend, and I didn't "win" but I did get a lot more words down than I was used to! But of course I had school and then college to focus on, so eventually that 2/3rds of a novel draft just kinda withered away while I did nothing with it. Flash forward to the next year and I decide Hey! I should do this again! And I did, and I got maybe 2 days in before I crashed and burned. Flash forward to the next year, and it happens again. And again, and again, until eventually I swore off nano and decided it was Absolutely Terrible for Writers Forever.

So, what changed? Uh, nothing, really. I still don't think nano is a good thing for young writers who haven't learned what the writing cycle actually feels like, or even looks like.

(As a disclaimer: if you are a writer and feel like the structure and deadline works for you to help you pump out a draft, hell yeah! Good for you! Legitimately good for you, no sarcasm! This is not directed at you.)

SO THE WRITING STRUCTURE. WHAT IS IT? It's drafts. It's so many drafts, especially for longer works. It's drafts upon drafts as you figure out how you actually want your story to work. It's writing a whole novel and letting it sit and returning to it and rewriting the entire thing, and then realizing that rewrite was just a second draft, maybe even a 4th draft as you reconfigure what a "draft" actually even looks like. And then, once you have a draft you're satisfied with, it's edits. And then it's several phases of edits before you're satisfied again. And then, depending on what route you're going in terms of publishing, it's potentially even more drafts and editing and drafts of editing as you work to get your story out and-

It's a lot of work, okay? Not that anyone ever said it wasn't, but I feel like we need to be honest with ourselves in that writing is a lot of work. Cranking out 50k words in a month is a draft. A very hasty, very slapdash draft. When I tried doing this in college, I didn't quite realize it, wrapped up in all the hype of writing a novel in a month, and so kept getting frustrated when my words werent perfect. Never mind that I'd never actually finished a draft before, didn't even really know what a draft looked like.

So, why am I trying again? Great question! I'm not! Sorta. I'm not holding myself to the word count (I'm mostly writing short stories and novellas these days anyways), I'm not tying to write a finished product, and if I don't reach my goal this month I'm not going to stop. Because that's what happens a nontrivial amount: dec 1 rolls around and people stop writing without the structure/deadline to keep going, and so all the work they put in to keep up a writing habit goes down the drain. Anyways, my goal this year for this month of nanowrimo is just to stress test my own drafting abilities: how much of a draft for my next Xal novella can I get done in a month? That's it. That's my entire goal, just to see what happens. If I make it? Sweet! Onto the next phase! If I don't? Sweet! Most of a draft is better than no draft! Onto the next phase!

Draft writing is just one spoke in a wheel, and you gotta keep it turning onto the next thing.

So, what's the end to all this? Should you never participate in nano? Should you denounce it to the heavens??? Man how would I know I'm just a mouse. These are questions you gotta ask yourself and sit with the answers. I think you should tailor nano to fit with you and how you write, but you're the only one who can accurately answer just what that means for you. If it means cranking out the whole 50k, good for you! If it means just trying to write once a day, perfect! Hell yeah get that habit forming! If it's some other kind of benchmark that works for you, good!

Just keep going after. That's all I ask, don't let someone else's arbitrary goals keep you from writing.

I love you go do good work I BELIEVE IN YOU!!!!

Also hey if you read this far mind checking out my patreon or buying me a ko-fi? I've got discount commissions on my Patreon as well as access to all my backlog of one-shots forever, and I've got a $1+ donation doodle option on my ko-fi! Your support keeps me writing c: thanks!

[pixelgrotto]

Adventure Paths & Strategy Guides

Those of you who keep track of this blog may have noticed that my updates have dried up since September. I have a good reason for this, because I got a new fulltime job writing for Rock Paper Shotgun. Yep, that's right - after originally starting Pixel Grotto back in 2013 because I couldn't get a job working at a video game media outlet, finally my path has come full circle. It only took a decade!

This turn of events coincides with a lot of other stuff in my life. In the past year, I've gotten married, moved from the US to the UK with my wife, and been freelancing in the tabletop RPG space all the while. In fact, my first published TTRPG work is now out in the wild in the form of Pathfinder Adventure Path #198 - With No Breath To Cry. Go grab a PDF (or physical copy) if you can, since I wrote some creepy lore about a new demon vaguely influenced by Chinese yaoguai and Japanese yokai, not to mention all sorts of Asian horror movies. I'm actually more pleased with my contributions to Pathfinder Adventure Path #199, but that doesn't come out until January. Keep your eyes peeled for it though!

Needless to say, this has probably been the most hectic and life-changing year I've gone through since 2018, when I moved from Hong Kong back to the US. And as 2023 comes to a close, I'm feeling reflective. I compare myself with others a lot, and much of my life has been spent looking at the accomplishments of people around me and feeling like I don't measure up. While I still do this to varying degrees, I suppose I can finally acknowledge that two of the goals I've always had - 1) to work in the gaming industry to some capacity, and 2) to see my writing published - have manifested in 2023. If I could venture back to 2013 when I started this blog (with a post about eating dumplings while playing Final Fantasy XII, no less) and tell my old self what he'd be up to a decade later, younger Jeremy would be chuffed.

That's another thing of note: as of this past October, Pixel Grotto turned a decade old. Technically, the site is even older than that, since prior to Pixel Grotto, I used this Tumblr for a blog dubbed Aqua Headphones that was sort of a mixture of personal ramblings combined with reblogs of whatever I found cool on the internet at the time. Since then, I've written an awful lot about video games, which led to writing about tabletop games, which led to working in both fields in a professional capacity.

It's surreal to examine my goals and observe how they unfolded in unusual ways. My original desire to work in games media came from the childhood magazines that I loved - Computer Gaming World and Electronic Gaming Monthly - and when those went the way of the dodo, I became a journalist with the sly hope that maybe one day I'd get a job working at Kotaku or something. But I finally got my gaming gig not at an American site, but a British one. And I'm writing guides, which is not something I initially envisioned myself doing. It's tricky work where we often have the chase the reins of the most popular franchises (I now know more about Modern Warfare 3 guns than I ever imagined I would), but it's also fun, since it reminds me of days spent perusing GameFAQs and leafing through physical strategy guides, several of which I still own. Versus Books' Final Fantasy VII and Ocarina of Time Perfect Guides remain on my shelf alongside Prima's Quest for Glory guides and Peter Spear's The King's Quest Companion...and while I can't do my current work in the same format of these gems (many of which were "novelizations," a style of guide writing I really miss), it does feel trippy to be following in their footsteps.

I could say the same thing about getting my words published. As a kid, I forever wanted to pen the next great fantasy novel. And while I've got more than a few discarded novel drafts sitting on my hard drive, the field of fantasy fiction isn't the one that's bearing my first printed work. Instead, it's modules and supplementary books in the fantasy tabletop gaming space - a space that has let me develop and externalize some of the plots and characters that have been gestating in my head since childhood. To a certain extent, that childhood desire to be the next great Tolkien has lessened as a result of this, and I can't say I'm displeased. I'm also happy that my first published work has been in a Pathfinder Adventure Path, because once again thinking about magazines, Adventure Paths remain one of the few remaining publications in the TTRPG space that bear some resemblance to old issues of Dragon magazine, and the nostalgia makes me happy.

I don't like to spend much time on this blog talking about myself, because there are always new ways to incite comparison to others and activate the inferiority complex in my brain. But at the end of a very long 2023 and on the tenth anniversary of the name "Pixel Grotto," I feel like it's necessary. As we move on to year eleven, I'll continue to make posts as long as my schedule permits it - after all, I can't let this blog fall to the wayside seeing as how its existence contributed a great deal to the opportunities that I now enjoy!

[maple-seed]

Citrine, Morganite and Emerald for the gemstone asks please, you gorgeous talented thing! x

CITRINE  Citrine represents generosity. What is the best compliment or comment you’ve ever received on a piece you’ve created?

This is difficult to answer, because I have received a tremendous number of absolutely wonderful comments. I've really been blessed in this department. I'm not exaggerating when I say I could not pick one. You yourself are a source of several comments that have legitimately had me looking like this:

🥹

A specific example that immediately comes to mind was a particular line that @gigglingtigger referred to as "stone cold gorgeous writing" and that has stuck with me. That one would definitely be in my comment trophy case if I had such a thing.

Early on, one of my first encounters with @loopsisloops was her writing an essay in the comments on AO3, it was one of the first really detailed responses I had gotten to the story and she hit on so many little things I was trying to communicate, it really made me feel like maybe this was working out. There was another time, I had posted a new chapter and she came into my DMs with her capslock on, repeating the last line of the chapter with deteriorating coherency. I said to myself "Okay, yeah, that one landed." 😂

I have to stop here because I really could go on forever with all the nice things people have said to me and I appreciate every single one. I created a tag specifically for me to be able to look back at posts that particularly touched me: #my heart

MORGANITE  Morganite is associated with innocence, joy, peace, and confidence. How would you compare yourself now with yourself when you began to create?

Comparing myself to when I started writing, it wasn't terribly long ago so I think the biggest change is simply how much more involved I am with the community. It's been the best part of all this, I think, meeting these wonderful, talented people and sharing our stuff with one another. When I first came to tumblr I did not know what I was doing and I was very anxious about interacting and it took me a long time to get over the anxiety of commenting/reblogging on other people's posts (because who would want to hear my stupid opinion?) and I give a lot of credit to the SAS for helping me get over that because if we're posting a dozen gifs specifically about one man's thighs then I should probably worry less about all this. 😂

Comparing myself now to when I began to create in general would take a much longer time to detail because that was decades ago. Those two people are only just barely related, lol.

EMERALD  It was believed that emerald could assist in seeing the future. What future pieces or ideas do you look forward to writing the most?

There are several future chapters of Thrown that I'm very excited about, some of which I will be writing soon. There's also the end of that story on the horizon which I'm mostly excited about.

Aside from Thrown, I've had a few ideas for oneshots just to see if I'm even capable of writing a story in less than 100k words. 😅 One in particular is a smut piece with, you'll never believe this, only one bed. No promises that it ever gets published because I've never written smut before so it could end up a hot mess that just sits in my drafts forever.

[billiebeanhoward]

All eyes on me - Wilhemina Venable

a/n: been in my drafts for like 6 months. also apologising for any grammar mistakes and im awful at tenses. gif is mine

tw: end of the world?

word count: 2175

tag list: empty everyone left

Days off work spending quality time with your partner Wilhemina have always been your favourite. Either spending the day in each others company with a documentary playing on the television as you both sat doing some knitting on the couch, spending the day in bed or even going out on a nice walk around the lake around your isolated home in the outskirts of LA. But when Wilhemina dedicated todays day of time off to spend the day at the beach, you knew something was up. Something was off. She barely packed anything. The usually organised redhead would've packed a small basket with snacks and a bottle of wine and a blanket but she only insisted on you bringing only yourself. Nothing else.

As you watch her walking barefooted towards the ocean, the soft waves of water lapped at her feet you couldn't help wondering what was going through that beautiful mind of hers. You take off your shoes, roll up your jeans and follow her footprints in the sand, careful to dodge any sharp shells that lay there.

"Penny for your thoughts?" you squint one eye as the sun blares strongly behind your girlfriend as you look at her, waiting for her to speak. Honestly you don't remember the last time she has had a proper conversation with you. Something other than small talk about your day at work, how good the food is, how boring this show is. Never anything other than that. Never telling you how she's feeling anymore. You watch as her gaze returns to the horizon of the vast blue ocean. You watch her lips straighten as she thinks of how to respond.

"Lets just enjoy this day together," is all she says, taking your hand in her left you can feel her quickened pulse through her hand as she grips onto you tightly. "Come, lets sit." you both make your way over to where you laid your jacket down on the sand and sat down, still watching the redhead wondering what the fuck is going on.

-

Hours went by, you both lounging around in the sun, reading books, even grabbing yourselves an ice cream. You didn't even realise how long it had been until you see the sun slowly setting in the distance. "Y/N," Wilhemina's low voice snapped you from your thoughts as she hands you a paper cup with hot coffee inside which you take happily. "I need to talk to you,"

You roll your eyes letting out a chuckle as you bring the steaming beverage to your lips.

"What's funny?" her eyes staring at you as you watch her intently, bring the cup down before setting it down in the sand.

"I swear this is the most you've spoken to me in weeks," you say as you look into her brown eyes.

"I'm sorry," she apologises, snapping her gaze from yours "I've been busy,"

Ah of course, since her "promotion" at work a few weeks ago Wilhemina has been more busier than ever. Hardly ever home, even when she is she is more stressed out and angrier than usual although she tries not to take it out on you, sometimes she just cant help herself.

"Change is happening to the world and I'm apart of it." she says, a small proud smile tugging at her lips as she returns her gaze to you, your brows furrow slightly as you hold onto your coffee again.

"What sort of change?" Her eyes brightened, twinkled almost as if she has been waiting to tell you this secret of hers since forever.

"The world as we know it is ending." the smile on her face grew bigger and your eyes widen at her sudden answer

"what?"

"I know it sounds scary at first but take a moment to think about it." She turns her body slightly to look at you completely, wanting to see your full reaction to this. "The cooperative, a collection of the dozen greatest minds mankind has to offer, also known as the illuminati, is planning to destroy the world, leaving only the most important people behind. I am leader of my own outpost in central California, I'm leaving tonight before the oceans rise, I will have people come collect you before the nuclear weapons launch tomorrow."

You take in the information, shock taking over and you can't believe it's even happening. Wilhemina takes your hand and you stare at it for a few moments before getting up and walking out towards the ocean again.

"Are you feeling nervous?" the redhead asks with a slight smirk, as you stare out at the sunset for the last time.

"Why? Are you having fun?" you smile at her, which she returns. You look out realising that this is all going to end tomorrow. You watch as the sun slowly hits the tip of the ocean. "It's almost over"

She chuckles deeply at your comment as she steps into the water, the waves slowly lapping at her ankles. "It's just begun"

"But what if -"

She turns to face you, "Don't overthink this, look in my eyes," she holds your face in her hands as you look deeply into her beautiful brown eyes, "Don't be scared. Now, don't be shy. Come on in, the waters fine." she smiles

You look at her remembering her comment from earlier, "But you said the oceans rising"

She chuckles deeply again her shoulders relaxing as she drops her cane to the floor, widening the space between her arms as she relaxes, "Like I give a shit,"

"The whole world's ending," Her words finally hit you, panic arising deep in your stomach as a wave of nausea hits you

"Honey, it already is,"

"Did you know about this before it was happening? You didn't tryto slow it?" you ask, your face turning slightly pale as you look back to her, she grabs your hands tightly.

"Heaven knows I tried. But this is it. Got it?" she looks at you tilting her head a little as you nod once "Good," she smiles "Now get inside."

-

Plans change, Wilhemina ushers you out of the house with her in a panic as soon as her ride comes parked at the door. Hastily, she pushes you through into the backseat as she scoots in beside you, a tall woman and several other people followed you out of your home returning with your bags before the driver began driving away.

"Where are we going?" you ask, the dark night seeping through the windows, thankfully California is quite a bright city so there were plenty of light so you can still see Wilhemina's face. Her lips purse as she takes her cellphone from her small handbag. "I thought you were getting me tomorrow?"

"I couldn't have. It would've been to late." she snaps, frustratingly, her gaze locking to yours as you take in her appearance. She looks stressed and so tired, she hasn't been sleeping well lately and rightfully so. She sighs before taking your hand in hers. "I didn't mean to snap,"

"It's okay," you say bringing your hand to her cheek, and she brings a gloved hand up to hold your hand there longer. She smiles contently as you rub your thumb gently. "We'll be okay,"

"Of course we will," she speaks softly, "We're the only ones that matter. We're going where everybody knows everybody. Everyone is important, but not as important as you and I" she smiles bringing your hand back down to your lap.

You begin feeling lightheaded and you shuffle in your seat as Wilhemina tugs you closer so you can lay your head on her shoulder. "That's it, sweet girl. You're safe with me."

-

You're not sure how long you were out for, not sure how much time had passed. But when you woke up you were laying on the tiled floor of what seemed to be a very large shower room. "How many times must I tell you to make sure the girl is alive."

"I'm sure she is Ms Venable, I'm sorry," a timid voice stutters as the banging from a cane can be heard as you slowly try sitting up.

"You'll be more than sorry if she is dead! And I will not hesitate on killing you myself!" the woman snaps before banging her cane twice and the door to the room unlocked and was quickly pushed open. "Oh Y/N, What have they done to you," the woman coos as she sees your fragile state. "Ms Meed!" she calls, the echoing hurting your ears making you squint. "Help me take Ms Y/L/N up to the purples chambers and get her situated."

It says here she's a grey, Ms Venable," Ms Mead admits as she hands her a clipboard, your eyes furrow as you don't know what the fuck that means.

"Those bastards," she mutters, tossing the clipboard back to the other woman before banging her cane twice again, "Must I repeat myself?"

"No, Ms. Venable."

What the fuck happened to my girlfriend?

-

You didn't see Wilhemina anymore since Ms Mead helped you out of the "quarantine" zone and up into the purple chambers. You look around the room in amusement as you spot the purple victorian styled dress hanging from the closet with a corset beside it. "God, Wilhemina," you shake your head. "Where are you anyway?" you hear the familiar sound of her cane slowly making it's way down the hallway so you quickly attempt at getting into your costume. Then the tapping stopped.

Three knocks rapped at your door and you stood behind it and turned the knob letting the redhead inside. She spots you as she enters the room, her hardened exterior quickly going soft when she sees you struggling. "Need a hand?" she asks softly and you feel a blush rise on your cheeks.

"Really not my thing."

"Well I like it," she smiles as she fastens up the ties, "And I must say, seeing you in this..." her right eyebrow raises slightly, "Is giving me a little tingle,"

"Oh, Wilhemina, you naughty girl," you say looping your arms around her neck before the door knocks again interrupting you. You break apart quickly and head back over to the closet to slide on the dress.

"Ms Venable, Introductions must be made," Ms Mead says as she pokes her head through the door.

"Quite right, Ms Mead. I'm on my way," you roll your eyes at the redhead as she leaves the room but with two bangs of her cane and a loud "I saw that" your eyes widened and you quickly finished getting ready.

-

A loud shrill of a bell was heard signalling it was time for a gathering and everyone sat around the table in the hall. You make yourself situated between a blonde woman and a gentleman who looks very much like Wilhemina's boss and you sat and waited until you heard the tap of a familiar cane.

Everyone abruptly gets up out of their seat except you and the blonde beside you, "Why is everyone getting up?" you turn and ask her, and she smirks as she shrugs her shoulders

"Get your fucking hands up!" You hear your girlfriends voice boom through the room before you could see her. "Get up out of your seats!" your eyes widen in confusion

"What?"

"Ms Vanderbillt. Do you really want to be punished again?" Wilhemina tilts her head as she punctuates her sentence with a tap from her cane.

"No, sorry Ms Venable."

"Jesus christ." you roll your eyes, still not getting up from your seat and Wilhemina turns her head towards you, her beautiful dark lips curling as she sees you.

"Stand up." she orders, "I won't tell you again Ms Y/L/N and you would not like the consequences of defying me I assure you" there was a slight twinkle in her eyes and you roll your eyes again.

"Please pray for me," you mutter under your breath as you stand up, your hands above your head. Vanderbillt giggles as she hears your comment but quickly becomes straight faced as Wilhemina bangs her cane twice.

“All eyes on me," Once Ms Venable seems content with everyone listening and doing as they're told she sits down at the head of the table.

All eyes tracked her as she nodded, "You may sit," You all slumped back in your chair and you put your hands down a light laugh escaping your lips.

"Something funny, Ms Y/L/N?" her head snaps towards you and you shake your head quickly, but you see her eyes darkening. The power getting to her. She loves the feeling of being in control, and the fact she is in charge with all these people bending backwards to her every whim, it's a dream come true for her.

She shakes a small bell by her right hand and a woman quickly runs in with a tray before placing a jelly cube in front of everyone. "Welcome to the end of the world"

[yourmomni]

Here with me- Park Jay

A/n: I've had this in my draft forever I hope you enjoy this

Watch the sunrise along the coast as we're both getting old

When I was 13 I found love. I found love that I never knew could feel like this. It was just a normal day as I walked through the park taking in the scenery. The sun was setting with a beautiful orange hue over the sky. I found a bench and sat down enjoying the way people lived their lives. I saw a couple having a picnic and a old married couple walking their dogs. Siblings playing at the playground. Different types of love. "Beautiful isn't it." I jumped looking at the boy sitting beside me. "Sorry didn't mean to scare you I just saw you sitting alone and thought you could use some company." He wore baggy shorts a vans shirt with a baseball cap turned backwards.

I stared at him his lips were bright pink and his eyes shinned like the stars in the sky. It felt like time stopped. Is this love ?

I cant describe what im feeling

I felt like we were looking at eachother for hours but it was nearly 30 seconds

He looked away first blushing and staring at his hands. "I'm Jay I live in those houses across the street we just moved her saturday." " im Y/n" He smiled up at me and I smiled at him

"

I wish I could live through every memory memory again"

"Just one more time before we float off in the wind"

We were now 18 and college was going to start soon and I new it was nothing I could do to change it " why can't you just be happy for me I finally did it I made it to their dream  school my parents are finally going to be proud of me for once why can't you just accept that." He yelled. I threw my bookbag on his bed. " I am happy for you but have you thought about where you want to go not them." He scoffed "Thats not something worth thinking about you know that ." " but just think about it you could go to any school in the world you just- " " Y/n just stop" He blew up. I flinched back. " Just because your parents dont give a fuck about where you go or what you study doesnt mean mine think the same ." He gritted his teeth  pointing a finger at me as he talked. I stood their wide eyed. I snatched my bookbag off of his bed. " You know what fuck you jay." He looked at me in shock. " Fuck you, Fuck your stupid college, fuck this stupid house and fuck what you think about me." The tears feel down my face. He took a step towards me. "Y/n  wait i-." I took a step back from him." No just stay away from me and have fun in college." I ran down the stairs and out the door slamming it on my way out. The tears poured out as I walked to my house I slammed the door and ignored my parents asking what was wrong with me running to my room. I closed my door and layer on my bed. I cried myself to sleep that night.

When graduation finally came around I finally noticed how long I spent with Jay. Almost half my life. When the ceremony was over I gave my dad and mom a huge hug as they both handed me bouquet of flowers. After taking a few pictures we went home and chilled the rest of the day until their was a knock on my door. My dad kicked my mom's leg so she would get up but she didn't budge. I giggled " don't worry ill get it." I walked to the door and opened it too see no one was there. " huh weird." I began to close the door until I saw a vase full of beautiful flowers. I tilted my head in confusion and leaned down to inspect the beautiful bouquet I found a note hiding behind a yellow rose "congratulations Y/n we did it we graduated I'm sorry about everything i said to you that day if i could take it back i would I'll be leaving today after graduation so you'll probably never see me again. But you'll be happy to know I took your advice life is too short to live other people's lives so I'm gonna live my own. Anyways I hope you never forget me because I will never forget you .

Love, Jay

Oh P.S. doesnt the sky look beautiful

I looked up and saw the orange hues like I saw they day I met him. I bought the flowers inside and put my shoes on " I'll be back dont start the next movie without me." " y/n-" I ran out my door and down the street to his house. No cars were in the driveway.  Hopefully I'm not to late. I ran up the stairs and knocked on the door. "JAY" I banged on the door. " Park Jongseong." I yelled. I backed up from the door and went to where his window was on the second floor. I picked up pebbles and began throwing them at his window. " Jay please." I fell to my knees  in exhation. I whipped my tears. " I never got to tell you how proud I was of you." "You can tell me now." I jumped at the voice and I saw Jay leaning beside me. I looked at him and it brought me back to that day. The day I met him.

He sat down and started pulling at the grass. Something he does when he's nervous. " your probably still upset with me but I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am and-." I threw my arms around him. He hugged me back immediately. I pulled away and looked at him as he looked at me I glanced down at his lips and he did the same for me. He leaned it and so did I our lips connected. He deepend our kiss and wrapped his arms around me tighter I pulled away we both were out of breath. " I love you I've always loved you." He rambled looking throught my eyes. I smiled " and I've loved you since they day I met you."

"Save your tears,it'll be okay all I know is you're here with me."

[d3c0mp0siti0nn]

First Draft/Central Idea

So originally this was just a little one shot thingy I wrote back in January on the 23rd but I ended up falling in love with the idea and it went from this to a huge writing project with 4 parts, and currently 15 chapters [I haven't made the outline for part 3 yet lol] it has two endings and a reversed ending. It's embarrassing that it's a self insert but oh well. Like I said, I wrote this back in January and it was just a little thing that I wasn't gonna post and it ended up turning into something so much bigger- it's more of a central idea and I had to change it a bit to make it line up with the current story so I'm sorry if it doesn't make any sense. Personally, I think it's bad. I think it's probably the worst and most embarrassing thing I've possibly ever written lol [Again, apologizing for the bad writing, I didn't expect to post this and thought it was just gonna sit in my Google docs forever but I edited it this morning and thought I would share it and see if ppl wanted to know more ab the story.] [[Sorry if it's out of character or anything I haven't actually *played* Ragnarök yet and am going off of videos and fanfics I've seen lmao]]

Word Count: 3,116

Miles doesn't really remember how he ended up in this sort of predicament. Where he currently was, he was laying down in his bed and next to him was a shirtless Heimdall with his back facing Miles.

It was…certainly odd. He hated Heimdall, he was the right hand man to Odin, who ruined his entire life and yet…he couldn't seem to actually spark any hatred for Heimdall no matter how hard he tried. He was still sorta in denial, but deep down Miles loved Heimdall's beautiful fluorescent purple eyes. He wanted to braid his hair and run his hands through it, they looked soft. He wanted to connect all his freckles with his fingers and name the ones that resembled constellations. He wanted to be there for him when he was having a bad day. There was so much Miles wanted to do with Heimdall, he wanted to show him gods can be kind.

Yet- Miles still really doesn't understand why he feels this way, or really how he ended up here. All Miles remembers is being in the tavern as drunken Thor talked about nothing important but Miles stayed feeling the tiniest sliver of pity for the man. Miles was only in Asgard because of Atreus, they had recently become close and this gave Miles a chance to search Asgard for something, anything to break the curse put on his family.

As Thor continued to go on and drown himself in mead, Miles’s eyes drifted around the room. They eventually fell upon Heimdall. He was sitting on a bench with a fur thing over it. He had a book in one hand and an apple in another. Miles turned his gaze back to Thor, thankfully he had passed out on the table. Miles got up, grabbed his cane and walked behind where Thor sat and gave him two harsh pats on the back. He made his way out of the tavern to go explore Asgard, it had been almost four hundred years since his last time there so there was bound to be new things. Even if Miles didn't wanna admit it, Asgard was sorta beautiful. It was weird because it felt so warm here, yet out in Midgard it was Fimbulwinter. It was obviously Odin's magic, but still.

As Miles walked around Asgard he just took it all in, the beauty of life, the way the breeze made the trees and grass dance– just everything. Miles came upon a towering, beautiful tree. It seemed familiar, like he has seen or heard about it before. Miles limped around the tree running his finger over it, observing it. Then he felt something rough under his fingers. It was a heart carved in the tree. As cute as that was it was kinda rude to the tree. Oh well. Inside the heart was "H+M"...ha that's a funny coincidence. Miles's eyes traveled down a little bit and they had more. "-Heimdall (for if he stumbles upon this he'll know it's me)"

Miles made a "hmm", "I wonder who *he* is?" Miles whispered to himself as he made his way around the tree. There were so many carvings, one said- "Am I stupid to like someone so below me?" Yup that was Heimdall alright. "Who could this possibly be about?" Miles wracked his brain for anyone who Heimdall might’ve taken an interest in and yet he came up with nothing. The carvings were very old, they must've been when he was pretty young. At the front of the tree there was a tiny piece of rolled up paper in a tiny little hole in one of the branches. Miles pulled it out and unrolled it, it read:

*"It seems as if things never change. It's been 384 years since I last saw or heard anything from or about him and yet I still feel myself drawn to come visit the tree. I have a feeling he might stumble into my hand soon. I wonder if he's seen this tree? It's all futile to l̶o̶v̶e̶ like such a pathetic god like him and yet I do. He's so below me and yet I feel a strong urge to see him. The one thing I hope is that he doesn't find this.*

*-Heimdall"*

Miles laughed a tiny bit at it. The thought of Heimdall being head over heels for someone was certainly amusing. Maybe Miles could use this against him the next time they had an argument. Miles plopped down at the front of the tree, it was a good sitting spot. Miles grabbed his book and started reading

About an hour later he heard footsteps coming behind the tree. He didn't really feel like looking so instead he just decided to let them find him. The footsteps were slow and gentle he heard a small little laugh to the right of him, where the heart and initials were. Huh, it was Heimdall. I don't think I've ever heard him laugh normally - Miles thought. Heimdall heard it and sorta stomped over to Miles. When he saw who it was he froze and his purple eyes went wide. "What are you doing here?" He spat out. Miles briefly looked up from his book. "Reading. Am I not allowed to read here? Is this your tree or something?" Heimdall looked to the tiny hole that had the note, it was still there and seemed untouched. Heimdall sighed in relief, though it came out more of a huff. Heimdall started to walk away when Miles, still looking at his book, said- "Who's M?"

Heimdall stopped in his tracks. "What." He said with a slight annoyance to his tone. "Who's the other person you carved your initials with?" Heimdall rolled his eyes and took a peek in Miles’s mind, he thought Miles was just playing dumb but he wasn't. He genuinely didn't know it was him, he had even read the note and yet still. He's so dumb - Heimdall thought. "That's none of your business." Heimdall said as he stood proud. "In your note you said you haven't heard from him in 384 years. You must've written that 11 years ago. Is this 'M' person dead or something?"

Heimdall rolled his eyes yet again. "No." Miles made an 'Ah' sound. "It's kinda funny thinking about you falling for someone." Miles said as he laughed a tiny bit while he flipped the page. "I mean the Heimdall falling for someone. It's fucking comical." A tiny part of Heimdall was a bit annoyed that he didn't realize it was him. Miles got up and put his book away and grabbed his cane which he had propped up on the tree. "I'll leave you alone now. Don't worry I won't tell anyone or anything. The fact that you have feelings is between me and you." Miles giggled a tiny bit before he limped off.

"Wait." Heimdall said. Miles turned around. "Did you say something?" - "Come back." Heimdall said a bit harshly. "Okay…" Miles walked back up to where Heimdall was. "What is it?" Miles said as he stood there, waiting for Heimdall to respond.

"It's you." He said blankly. Miles cocked his head to the side a bit. "What's me?" Heimdall groaned. "You're 'M'. The H and M in the heart stand for 'Heimdall and Miles'. I carved it when we were young. The other carvings I did 11 years ago." Miles laughed. "Ha. Yeah right. Funny joke, Heimdall." Miles looked in Heimdall's eyes as he laughed. Eventually Miles’s laughing faded. "Oh…you're– you're serious?" Miles nervously laughed. "I'm gonna go to uhm- to bed." Miles said as he limped away despite it being mid-day.

Once Miles made it back to his bed he threw off his shoes and immediately just fell on his bed. He laid on his back as he recalled what just happened. He wasn't quite sure how to feel. The right hand man to the man who stole everything from him had feelings for him…?

When Miles and Heimdall were 15, they were practically attached to the hip. Miles had heard of Heimdall, but he had just lost his family barely a year prior and he was vulnerable. Then Heimdall came along, and he was sweet and caring and it seemed like they were made for each other. Miles ended up foolishly falling in love with him. Somewhere deep down, Miles knew exactly who Heimdall was- but he was far too blinded to realize. Eventually, word got around to him and he was informed of who Heimdall was. It was terrible. He felt like such an idiot for not realizing sooner. None of it was real- what Miles felt for Heimdall was real but Heimdall's 'love' and 'affection' was all just a facade, something to pull in him closer and give him a false sense of security. So Miles, 16 and hurting, moved to Alfheim and told no one.

Miles had written something for Heimdall he was gonna send his way as a sort of explanation but he just never did. He was far too upset and didn't think Heimdall really *deserved* an explanation.

Miles flipped through all his memories with Heimdall from when they were young. They were nice. Miles never had the chance to make memories with someone close to him, given that as some cruel punishment Odin erased his family's memories of him all together. So with Heimdall he was able to make lasting memories with someone, ones that wouldn't be erased and thrown away as if they meant nothing.

He felt his eyes fill with tears just at the thought of his family. They were the only people to ever unconditionally support him and love him. He was called weak and useless and thrown away all the time simply because he couldn't do what the other gods did. He was cursed to live in the body of a woman with the soul and mind of a man and even though his family could never fully understand it they were there for him when it got hard and they helped him through it for 14 years. One day Miles got fed up with Odin's torture and went to see him. It ended in him going on an insane rampage, tearing down building after building, statues of the "great" Aseir gods, fighting Baldur, Thor, ect just quite literally tearing Asgard to shreds.

It's actually a surprise that Heimdall still felt the way he does after all that. Even after Miles tore down the place he loved so much and had such pride in, he still loved him. It was funny, really. The two of them were in a similar situation when it came to each other. They should hate one another but they couldn't bring themselves to even dislike them.

A light knock on his door made him shoot up. "Come in!" The door slowly opened, it was Heimdall. Miles laid back down. "Hi." Miles didn't know what else to say because he still wasn't quite sure how he felt. His brain, his mind knew that he was also in love with Heimdall but he just couldn't admit it. Heimdall sat at the edge of Miles’s bed. The both of them just sat there in silence, breathing in sync.

Miles eventually got the confidence to look at Heimdall. When he did his hair was all messy and his braids were kinda undone. He was sweating slightly. He must've been practicing sparring.

*I wanna braid his hair.*

Heimdall tensed up a bit and Miles could swear the tips of his ears were red. Heimdall scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Go ahead." Miles sat up and rose an eyebrow. "What?" Heimdall waved Miles off as he undid his hair. "Go ahead. Braid my hair. It's all you've been thinking all day." Miles looked at Heimdall with a quizzical look. "I never said- ooohhh." Miles inched closer to Heimdall. "Are you sure you're okay with a pathetic god like me who's so below you braiding your perfect hair?" Miles had a joking teasing tone that just had a huff from Heimdall in response.

Miles got behind Heimdall and grabbed a comb from his nightstand and gently ran it through his locks. It definitely wasn't Miles’s first time braiding his hair, infact they had braided each other's hair about a millions times when they were young. Although it was probably a lot harder for Heimdall to braid Miles’s hair on account of it being so long, but still, it was nice. That was one of his most precious memories Miles had. It was a good day, it was warm and had a light breeze. It was spring and the trees were so bright and vibrant. Miles and Heimdall had always met on a huge fallen tree in the middle of the Midgardian forest. The tree was covered in moss and Heimdall's hair always seemed to get messed up on his way climbing the tree, so Miles would always braid it. Miles had a tiny suspicion that Heimdall would mess up his hair before climbing up and just blame it on climbing to get Miles to braid his hair. Almost half a thousand years later, Miles still doesn't know the truth.

"Sorry if it doesn't come out very nice I'm a bit rusty, it's been a while." Heimdall didn't say anything as Miles started the first braid. Miles wasn’t sure if he was doing it on purpose or not but Heimdall was really leaning into Miles. Almost fully laying on him but sitting up just enough so it wouldn't make his hair look weird. "Hey Heimdall, can I ask you a question?" Heimdall hummed "When we were younger and we would meet on the tree, would you mess up your hair before climbing up so I could braid it."

Heimdall tensed up. "Why would I ever willingly mess up my hair just to get you to braid it? My hair always looked horrible after you braided it, I had to rebraid it everytime." Miles laughed. "You suck at lying." Heimdall just huffed as a response again.

A while passed and Miles was finally finished. "Okay, I'm done." No response. "Heimdall?" Miles looked down at him…he's asleep? When did he fall asleep? Sure he was quiet but he doesn't normally speak much when he's not gloating. He seemed to be sound asleep too. It had been so long since Miles saw his face so relaxed. Him and Miles used to lay down on the soft moss of the tree and just stare at the clouds. The few times Miles turned his head to look at Heimdall he always looked so peaceful in the blinding sun. His favorite times were when it got dark and cloud watching turned into star gazing. Even when Miles thought he couldn't get any prettier, the light from the moon made his face glow like bifrost. The moonlight highlighted all his best features, which was his whole face but still.

Miles watched with great interest at the mundane rise and fall of Heimdall's chest. His face was blank but it held so much emotion. He truly was the most alluring person he had ever seen. Maybe it's the nostalgia rush from pondering the past but Miles swore he felt 15 again. He felt as he did everytime he was just hanging around Midgard and Heimdall appeared to brighten his day. He felt as he did that one time when he opened the door to his little wooden cabin and saw a tiny box on his porch and once he opened it, it was an onyx stone bead bracelet with a silver square with the dagaz rune on it. He wasn't entirely sure what that feeling was but it was a weird one. It made him dizzy and euphoric, as if he was floating. It made him have a funny feeling in his chest and stomach. It was weird but not unwelcome.

"Your thoughts are so loud, do you know that?" Miles snapped out of his thinking and jumped a tiny bit. "Hmm- they are? Sorry." Miles played with Heimdall's braids a little. "I'm done braiding your hair, by the way." Heimdall got up and instead of leaving he took off his shoes and his shirt and plopped down in Miles’s bed. "What are you doing?" Miles said as he sat next to him. "Going to sleep." Miles laughed.

"Yeah I can see that, my question is why are you sleeping in *my* bed. You have your own bed." Heimdall didn't respond. Miles shrugged and laid down next to him and opted for staring at his back. Miles sheepishly reached his hand out to his back and started connecting his freckles. After a few minutes of lightly running his finger along Heimdall's back, he spoke. "What are you doing?" Miles continued to connect the freckles to one another. "Making constellations." Miles circled a few of his freckles. "These few look like Grus." He circled a few more. "And these here look sorta like Andromeda." He tapped a few more of them. "This one is Lacerta."

Heimdall just hummed. He had his back turned to Miles so it wasn't very clear if he was drifting to sleep or just didn't know what to say. Miles peeked over his shoulder to get a better look at his face. He was smiling, he tried to act as if he wasn't when Miles looked but he was. Miles turned back over on his back and yawned. After a few minutes he heard light snoring coming from Heimdall, it was cute. He tried to go to sleep but he couldn't, after longer than he'd like to admit of tossing and turning he just draped an arm over Heimdall's torso. He was a bit nervous because he wasn't quite sure how Heimdall would react, or if he'd even like it.

Heimdall grabbed Miles's arm and pulled him closer. That's how Heimdall always was though. He was never scared to speak his mind or anything he just believed in actions speaking louder than words. When they were younger, Heimdall always seemed to give Miles something as an apology rather than just saying sorry. Whether it was something as easy to find as some pretty flowers or something like a new knife made by Sindri, that was always his way of apologizing and showing he cared without having to say it.

It was going to take the two of them a while to get used to this, there was gonna be a lot to work out but it was worth it. Because in the end they had each other, and even since they were young that's all they ever needed.

[delopsia]

hello so flowers in november. let’s discuss. because I read it for the first time like a month ago and it? changed me? I had to sit down with my lil queer self and have a tête à tête about how good that fic was. I PROCESSED, computer style. like your capacity for worldbuilding is so gorgeous and well rounded and complete and that in and of itself would have me hooked but then the nuance. the soft, horny cowboy of it all. the ROMANCE and the CREATURES and the ROUND! PIZZA!! BOXES!!!

reading that fic is like watching a rube goldberg machine with all these tiny, whimsical parts coming together in gentle little plinks and plonks to accomplish this incredibly simple task SO EFFECTIVELY and you’re just grinning and loving the whole fucking journey of it. like I feel BAD for you that you don’t get the sheer pleasure that was getting to read that work for the first time and being taken around each blind corner into this thrilling reveal that just builds Rhett and his world and his relationship and I could literally gush about it for another 2000 words and still not say all the good things I want to say!!!!!!!!

I was listening to a song in my work car today (I love you always forever, Betty who’s version. fuckin bop.) and listen I KNOW it was set in winter but every part of that song gives FiN Rhett and his person, just the adoration and the soaring feelings and the simple core of the message behind it and I got so up in my feels in the middle of the fucking city about it. because that’s what FiN has, for such a fun fantasy alternate reality bop— every narrative beat connecte to this indescribable core feeling of adoration and whimsy and magic and the good and bad that lives in all of those things, in such whole and finished way that it makes me feel A Thing. and then I hear or see or smell something that has a moment of the same Thing and among all the other wonderful things that have that whimsy and magic that immediately pop to my brain I’m like “oh man flowers in november tho”.

you have such an incredible gift for writing. thank you SO MUCH for sharing it with us!!!!!!!!

aaaaa! Thank you so so much, lovely! :D This was an absolute blast to find in my inbox, despite Tumblr briefly trying to eat it...I truly was not expecting to hear much about that story ever again since it's a few months old now.

The World for Flowers In November was so, so much fun to craft and put together; I still get excited thinking about it because Rhett's world gave me so much creative freedom 💃 But for a while there, I really thought the round pizza boxes and magical creatures were a little too far😭

I'm so thrilled that it all came together like I was hoping it would! I had entire documents and guides dedicated to getting the world to hold together properly.

Exhibit A:

But! That! Song! I've never heard it before in my life until you stopped by, but now I keep replaying it 😭 I wasn't expecting for it to fit so well?? The first time I listened to it I had to stop what I was doing and stare at a wall because, wow.

Its reminded me of a deleted scene that never got into the final cut because it didn't add much to the story at the time. Maybe I'll have to dig that out of the drafts sooner or later 💃

Thank you so much for sending this, lovely! 🌷 You've got me wanting to return to that story, now 💐

[ryder-the-writer]

hi!!!! 17, 19, and 38 for the ask game! <3

hi claude!! thanks for the ask darling xx (sorry in advance cause this got so long....)

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

oooh ok so I'm currently working on two wips "the history of waves" (which I'm starting the first chapter for) and the one that's currently untitled for maximum secrecy (because I'm dramatic) lets just call it 'mystery baby' for now

the history of waves: so this one's about the effect that regulus's suicide has on sirius, pretty dark and depressing but I do have a bunch of weird little backstory things that I've made up in my head like how regulus had chronic insomnia and worked on solving cain's jawbone (look it up, its super cool) when he couldn't sleep, or how sirius used to make up little songs and sing them to regulus to calm him down when they were hiding from their parents. or how regulus was wearing a little star necklace that sirius made for him for his tenth birthday when he died and the necklace shows up multiple times throughout the fic.

i also know that i want to have super toxic wolfstar and a scene where they fight in the rain on a cliff and one of them almost falls off (because *drama*) i'm doing the first draft now and there are more music references and slutty sirius moments than i can count.........

this one is probably not going to have a super happy ending, more the like 'we got here but what did it cost us' bittersweet things, but I'm still planning the ending, so there is room for that to change.

ahhhhhh the mystery baby: this one truly is my favourite thing I've ever come up with..... hmmm ok what could I share........ twins pandora and evan do murder and other devious things on a road trip involving ****** and ******* as well as *******-oops the sniper got me, you'll just have to wait and see xx

19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

i've been coming up with stories forever, but i only started writing them down when i was 10 and i wrote a 80 page book about a dragon fighting arena (yes i was a lonely child)

i've been in fandom for a while and i've been writing fic for a while as well, i just haven't posted any of it (except 'the stars are black and bruised' but that was one of my older things and i'm figuring out what i want to do with it..)

definitely had a time where i really needed to take a break from writing for a while, i just got in a bit of the wrong mindset about it and needed some time off

i have about ten wips right now and i work on each one when i feel like it - i'll start posting a couple of them when i'm closer to finalising the drafts

38. What is something about your writing process YOU think is Really Weird? If you are comfortable, please share. If you’re not comfortable, what do you think cats say about us?

i have to be sitting criss-cross no matter where i am and i have to have tea and a specialised playlist just for that fic. basically, if the vibes are off, i literally can't write.

cats think we're so stupid. that's all i have to say about that.

this ask game

[lovehyyuntold]

hiii <3 sorry it took me like forever to send this to you, i just couldn't find the right words to express my gratitude.

your reblog was so nice, i think i shed a tear or two ngl 😭 i've been writing for a long time, even before this blog, and i have to admit that i've been discouraged a lot (that's why i never finish my stories lmao). anyways, what you said about reading 'lost warmth' made me realise that maybe, all this time and effort i put into this hobby isn't for nothing. really, thank you so much!! there was so reason for you to be this nice to me but you were and i'm just 😭 sobbing really.

your words really made my whole day, week even 🩷 and i swear this is the nicest thing someone has ever said to me. I hope that somehow, i will be able to return all the joy your beautiful self managed to make me feel <3

I hope you have the best day ahead, and don't forget to take care of yourself!! 🩷 i'll be back to scream in your reblogs whenever you post another masterpiece (i'll be the first one there, nobody is beating me 😡)

also, i would loove to read those two stories you mentioned!! if you ever want to share, i'm here <3 getting to read your writing is an honour in itself 🩷

Oh dear, hellow, hi <3

I feel slightly flustered to even answer your ask, ahh. Please, let me tell you, I couldn't even express half of what your writing felt to me at that time. I am so honored, truly, for you to say you shed a tear to my comment, I actually don't even know how to feel right now?

I'm so awkward, help. But genuinely speaking, Lost Warmth absolutely broke me to the core. As odd as this sounds, I can be quite self-indulgent when it comes to angsty stories. Up to the point where my friends call me sadistic as a joke. They believe that it's more challenging for me to write a happier ending compared to a bitter one. Sometimes I find myself in that spot, which I slightly need to work on, but I think that's why your story clicked so much.

Lost Warmth flickered inspiration including another story (that I seem to have forgotten the title too) in me that I ended up writing about the seasons, the feelings these changes emits yet the loneliness stayed. While your story showcased one's feelings that stayed, even after being apart—the love, the memories, its still there, and its agonizing. I cried, heavily. I think I was sitting on the couch one day, a little bit of downpour, and the perfect weather for your fic. I ended up watching and listening to Winter Falls on repeat after. A huge point from this is that, if I had not read your fic, if I had not stumbled upon your story, I wouldn't have received the amount of inspiration I had that day.

I went through my drafts and the dates, I genuinely starting writing winter first—which felt so perfect for each year, winter ends and starts us off. So thank you for that, for posting that story, I wish I had said all of this sooner, I wish more people could share their honest thoughts in stories, because inspiration thrives within these narratives.

hdjshsjsh nice to you? YOU'RE SO KIND TO ME TOO 😭 I genuinely kicked my feet after seeing that reblog, now this ask 🫠

A lil turn in convo, when it comes to writing, discouragement comes in so many forms: writer's block, lack of energy, overthinking, lack of feedback, nobody to talk to when it comes to the story, etc. I really truly wish that every story, even if people don't write their thoughts, it could pop up in our notes, even the smallest telling of an emotion they felt while reading. But anywho, you telling me about your support is the absolute sweetest thing ever, thank you, thank you so much.

I hope to return more feedback to your stories when the time comes 🤗 you take care of yourself as well, okay? I'll come out of nowhere and beat whoever's making your day miserable—you need to have a beautiful one. 🥰

As for my stories, it's actually only one but I made a 100 word story which is why I said two. But it was like a starter pack (I wrote it for a friend, like a little snippet of your story in I guess a different sense?) for the actual seasons story. However, since you're interested, dm me anytime whenever you're ready, and I'll send screenshots from my drafts 🥺🩷

[danpuff-ao3]

Hey hey!

1, 5, 7, 21, 26, 29 plus one you really want to answer 😊😊

Lizzy!! Thanks for the asks!

1. What font do you write in? Do you actually care or is that just the default setting?

Palatino and yes, I am particular about it! I primarily work in Scrivener but when I work in GDocs I always lament that it's not there!

3. What is your writing ritual and why is it cursed? (BONUS chosen question! Because it relates to # 5)

My routine is to sit at my desk just after lunch with a cup of coffee. No distractions allowed. I have the perfect little setup. I open Scrivener and get to work.

The problem is that I have OCD and I thrive on routines and though when I began my routine, it was fine, now trying to write outside of said routine is...a challenge. And since my partner's work schedule changed, being able to write at my chosen location at my chosen time does not happen as often as it used to.

Maybe if I stick to it enough "in bed with my laptop" will become my new routine and I'll actually be able to get work done! As it is I lay in bed with my laptop and get distracted by true crime videos.

5. Do you have any writing superstitions? What are they and why are they 100% true?

Oddly, while I am a very superstitious person, idk that I have writing superstitions! I do have routines I like to stick to, though. But I've recently had chats on Discord about how Writing Me and Regular Me are apparently different people...LOL. I avoid stepping on cracks on the sidewalk just in case but put me in front of a word document and I cannot be stopped.

7. What is your deepest joy about writing?

Oh golly....I don't know the whole act of creation is so fulfilling. Finishing any story, however small, feels like such a great achievement! But also it's such....relief? My brain is forever spinning thousands of ideas so being able to put some of them out into the world, and then being able to purge so many thoughts and emotions of my own onto the page....working through the mess of my own head by putting my beloved characters through a mess of their own....

But then also being able to share it with others and seeing how others relate. The feeling of connection and being understood, even if through a fictional story....I don't know, it just feels very special, all of it!

(Now if only I could manage all of that without Editing. Editing, my arch nemesis.)

21. Could you ever quit writing? Do you ever wish you could? Why or why not?

I doubt it, never forever. I've been writing as long as I can remember. I've had breaks where I don't write as much, but I think that no matter where life takes me, I'll always return to writing. It's too ingrained in who I am, I think. I'll always be a writer at my core.

I don't know that I wish I could quit, but I wish maybe I could stop worrying so much about it. I wish I had a better mindset with writing. And it's frustrating when I fall into bad habits and bad thinking. But that's more internal work I need to do, and no regrets with actually writing, I think.

26. How do you get into your character’s head? How do you get out? Do you ever regret going in there in the first place?

Oh this is an interesting one! I guess I sort of sit with what I know about the character and what they would think/feel about the situation I've put them in? I don't know, it's often easy with the characters I write about most often, but I've come across more challenging characters that I've needed more time with.

For harder cases, I sit with what I know and I usually like drafting an astrology chart for them. Which....some people might find silly, but I'm a great lover of astrology and putting a chart together helps me sit with them more and get to know them better in some ways, which usually sets me on a clearer path.

The getting out is the hard part! I don't know. I think parts of them stay with me always.

I don't think I ever regret going there, though it can often be difficult. I have agonized in characters' heads before, but....I don't know. I look at writing as a way of exploring human emotions and human possibilities. I think having to see the world through another's eyes, even a fictional person, helps me be more understanding and accepting of others, which I think is important. And I think I always learn something while I'm there, and I always take something important away from the experience, however hard it was.

29. Where do you draw your inspiration? What do you do when the inspiration well runs dry?

Other creations inspire me! And I find that when the well runs dry that's because I've been too in my own head and not consuming enough outside works. So looking at fanart, listening to music, reading other stories, etc. all helps me a lot! I like seeing what other people think and how they express themselves; learning more about the world and about other people from the works they create. That never ceases to inspire me.

Weird Questions for Writers

[clairecrive]

I can't stop thinking about that hot neighbor Tommy one you did, I have the tommy feels now. So for this 🌾 a more specific request, whatever you want. Can I ask for a smutty Tommy were your friends and you accidentally let out that your ex never made you orgasm🙈 and Y/n is like it's probably my fault I'm just weird. And Tommy is like it's not your fault let me prove it to you.

A/n: it feels like this request has been sitting in my drafts for forever, I'm really sorry!! I know you've been wanting some Tommy for a while so here it is. I feel like I've lost touch with him so I'm sorry if this feels weird. Also, I might have done my own thing with it and it's more fade to black than actual smut....

tag list: @mollybegger-blog, @br0ck-eddie, @shadow-of-wonder,@evelynshelby, @innerpaperexpertcloud, @fandom--0verdose,@sopxhiea, @fuseburner, @seldomabsent, @annisse,

(tag list form)

TOM HARDY MASTERLIST

There was one thing that many people didn't know about Tommy. Well, to be fair, there were many things that people didn't know about him seeing as he was more closed off than a vault.

But the one thing that no one would be able to guess, is that Tommy gives the best advice.

He's used to listening and, given his line of work, he's very good at reading people and predicting their moves.

Or, at least, in your years-long friendship, he had always given you life-changing tips.

Not this time though.

"What did you say?" you choked on your coke.

He couldn't have possibly said that.

It must have been your emotional state that made you mishear him.

"You know I'm always here for you," he said casually shrugging his shoulders like he's offering you a ride home and not to give you an orgasm.

"Well, damn, Tommy, you're bringing selflessness to a whole new level."

"Trust me, this ain't me being selfless," he murmured before taking a sip of his beverage.

What's up with him?

This wasn't the first time that you had come to him to vent about your latest argument with the boyfriend of the hour or after a break-up. He's always been very supportive offering to swear at him with you, offering a shoulder to cry on or ice cream to mend your heart.

But offering to give you an orgasm? That's definitely a first.

To be fair, this was the first time that you had shared something about your sex life with him. It was an unspoken agreement between the two of you that it was something better not shared.

it started about the first time you had caught him post affair. You had swung by his place unannounced like you always did and let's just say that if his dishevelled hair wasn't a dead gave away, the panties lying around definitely were.

Now, of course, that part of Tommy's life wouldn't be lacking. Like, have you looked at him? This man is the embodiment of sex.

But having the confirmation of it wasn't something you were eager to get. Yes, yes, having a crush on your best friend is idiotic but what was it?

The heart wants what it wants.

Still unable to believe what's happening, your eyes flickered through your drink to his.

Maybe they were spiked?

Almost as if Tommy was reading your mind, he sighed and took the drink out of your hands and rested it on the coffee table along with his.

"Look," he settled his body so that he was facing you but still leaving some space between you, "I know this may sound weird, but 's really not."

"I mean, think about it. We've been into each other almost as long as we know each other."

Excuse me?

"Pinch me," you said offering your arm to him. Maybe it's stupid because if it's a dream, I'm not sure I want to wake up from it but if it isn't...

"Hey," he did take your arms but he only used it to pull you closer to him, "I'm serious."

"Not that I'm against it or anything but where is this coming from? Because you know, I'm not that heartbroken, I don't need a sympathy fuck."

You weren't sure that you could handle a one night stand with Tommy. Maybe future you was going to hate you for missing this opportunity but you simply couldn't.

"That's not what this is about," Tommy said with a slight shake of his head.

"Then what is this about?" you murmured almost afraid of knowing the answer.

"I'm finally done watching you be happy with other people," his lips twitched before he added, "or in this case, unhappy with dumbasses."

"I'm telling you Tommy if you're joking I don't care. You've signed yourself to me now. No takebacks."

"Fuck takebacks, you've stuck with me baby girl," he smirked before he hauled you on his lap. You let out the most girlish yelp ever but it soon was smothered by Tommy's lips on yours.

Don't let his burly appearance fool you, this beefy man has the lips of an angel.

You didn't know if it was the softness of his lips or the fact they were on yours or maybe both but you moaned. You moaned on his lips.

Fuck if this was happening with just a kiss, you couldn't imagine what it would be like in the bedroom. Actually, yes, you could and you couldn't wait.

"Now, let's fix your little problem, shall we?"

[starlightxsvt]

Home | k.mg

pairing ➳ businessman!mingyu x female!reader

genre ➳ strangers to lovers, romance, slice of life, angst, fluff, gets spicy at the end

word count ➳ 5.6k (apx)

warnings ➳ cursing, reader is really indecisive, heavy makeout, implications of sexual activity.

synopsis ➳ an attractive stranger visits your cabin for a week with whom you quickly bond, developing some strong feelings in the process; leaving you to wonder if he's worth leaving everything behind.

A/N: henlooo~ I finally posted! This has been sitting in my drafts for a while but I didn't really feel like writing for a while, hence the delay. I hope y'all enjoy this piece and please don't forget to leave some feedback! It really motivates me :)

A cool gust of wind blew by as you finished typing your last column, leaving a soothing feeling behind as you exhaled loudly. It was hard to finish this piece of writing for some reason, maybe because you lacked inspiration or maybe because your life had been monotonous for a while or simply, a mix of both. Closing your laptop you stretch your hands and legs, feeling somewhat productive. Humming a tune, you looked out the window to see a Lamborghini come to a halt at the entrance.

It piqued your interest because it's not often that people riding Lamborghini come in this cabin so genuinely you're interested in the visitor. You shifted in your chair, waiting for the man to come upstairs to the reception and sure enough a tall- really tall man dressed in a neatly pressed suit appears into your view, briskly walking towards the reception where Chan stood to greet him. You could not get a good look at his face as he moved around quickly, grabbing his small carry on and heading towards his cabin after the formalities.

You watched his tall frame walking away as you got up from your seat and moved towards Chan.

"Who is he?"

"Kim Mingyu," Chan explained, resting his arms on the reception table." A millionaire, owns a lot of companies. No wonder he looked familiar."

"Oh, really? How long is he staying?"

"He has booked for five days. Said he might extend his stay."

"I see."

"Why are you so curious though?" Chan raised a brow at you, tilting his head to a side.

"Nothing." You shrugged. "He just has different vibes than the other people that come here you know?"

Chan hummed in agreement.

-

There was never much visitors during the rainy season which was both a blessing and a curse. Blessing because that meant the cabin was less hectic and curse because sometimes you are bound to get a bit too bored. You were helping yourself with a cup of tea to somewhat feel re-energised when your newest and the only guest for the week appeared from his cabin, padding through the corridor and stepping into the common kitchen area. You were taken aback for a moment before you composed yourself and smiled at your guest, "Good morning, Mr. Kim. May I help you with anything?"

"Mingyu, please," the tall male replied while scanning the kitchen area. "You're the owner right? What's the food arrangement here?"

"Well, our guests generally cook for themselves or order takeout. When there are many guests I sometimes do the cooking."

Nodding, he hummed before putting in a capsule in the cappuccino machine. You took a seat by the window, tea in your hand as you watched the male move around like he knew this place. Dressed in his pajamas and judging by the fluffy mess that his hair was you assumed he had a good night's sleep.

"I hope you had a pleasant night, Mr- Mingyu." You said to your guest who had whipped out a pan from the cupboard and was making omelette. "Yes, surprisingly so. Normally I have trouble falling asleep but I slept like a baby last night," he casually conversed as he prepared his breakfast.

You smiled, "Well, I'm glad to know that. If you need anything let my staffs or me know."

"Sure. Oh- I didn't get your name though." Mingyu turned to meet your eyes.

"___," you smiled.

"___, okay."

-

"This is gonna be a rainy week," Hoshi said from behind you as he stood holding a tub of fresh soil for the plants in the backyard of the cabin. You sat on your knees, eyeing the plants which needed their soil changed.

"Yeah? Well, good thing there isn't much guests now."

"I think there should be, I mean it's so pretty here during the rain too. People need to look at it themselves." Hoshi complained.

"Well, most people don't like going out in the rain. Pass me the soil, Hoshi. Let's get this finished before the shower starts."

Hoshi handed you the tub of soil as the sky above started growling, full of thick black clouds. It was gonna start raining soon.

Hoshi spoke, "Oh, Mr.Kim, Mingyu you know, asked me about the beach by the marketplace. Apparently he wants to visit so he asked me if I was free to show him around."

"And let me guess, you aren't?" You rolled your eyes.

Soonyoung pouted, "No! Well I would have given him a tour today if the weather wasn't so bad. And my friends are coming tomorrow, so I'll be busy then."

"Wait- you're friends are coming?" You turned, glaring at the boy who smiles sheepishly, "Oh! Um- I didn't tell you? Well they're only staying for a couple of days and it's not like they're staying for free."

"Well, make sure they clean after themselves okay? If I see them trashing all over the place like last time, I'm kicking you out with them." You gave him a pointed look.

"Okay okay," Hoshi rolled his eyes, puffing his cheeks. "Just- take the CEO out on a tour tomorrow for me okay? I haven't seen my friends in a long time."

"Alright, I will...if the weather is good which probably won't be." You sighed, gently removing the old soil.

Hoshi mused about Mingyu, "Bummer for him, he came in a wrong time. It's weird, no? We don't have such guests like him."

"Yeah," you hummed, focused on handling your roses.

-

Hoshi's friend, Seokmin and Seungkwan appeared early in the morning next day as you watched Hoshi vibrate from happiness when he hugged them. You smiled to yourself, laughing at at the antics of your staff as you saw him guide his friends into their cabin. The day was once again filled with dark clouds and raining which occurred every other hour. You and Chan cleaned up and completed some chores as the noon fell.

"Should I cook something up for them?" You wondered as Chan finished cleaning the common space of the first cabin.

"Nah, Seokmin hyung is cooking for them. He's a pretty good cook actually."

"Really? That's nice." You said pulling up a chair to sit down. "Are you gonna join them? Hoshi has been with his friends since they came."

"Yeah, probably. You should join us too."

"No, I think I'm gonna take a nap. I feel so tired."

"Alright."

You watched as Chan climbed down the stairs and stepped towards the second cabin where everyone else was. You were about to head to your room when the CEO, Mingyu appeared in the kitchen.

"Oh, hello."

"Hi."

"I haven't seen you since morning," you said watching as Mingyu poured himself a glass of water.

"Yeah, I woke up early today, went for a jog."

"Ah, I see."

"Couldn't go far though, the weather sucks you know." He said leaning against the kitchen top.

"Yeah. But I heard that it should get better from tomorrow. I could show you around if you want to. Hoshi, my staff, is going to busy for a while so I can guide you around."

"Really? That would be cool." Mingyu smiled. There was a small stretch of silence as you both listened to the rainfall before he spoke, "Have you had lunch?"

"Uh-no."

"Would you like to join me?" He asked "This is the longest time I've been alone and it feels a bit weird," he murmured more to himself than you.

"I mean- I don't mind," you shrugged. "Though I should be the one doing it."

"It's okay. People say I am a good cook," Mingyu smiled, his eyes crinkling.

"Well, I suppose it wouldn't hurt to see."

-

It was weird how comfortable you felt watching Mingyu being clumsy and bump into things as he prepared your meal. It felt like you've been doing this forever- like you've known him forever and you thought to yourself what was suddenly wrong with you. He made small talk as he cooked and it felt easy talking with him- almost impossible to believe that he was stranger. He was friendly and easy to get along with, definitely not a cold and grumpy businessman like you imagined him to be.

Mingyu grinned as he set down the food in front of you- chicken soup, rice and cheese omelette. His eyes twinkled excitedly as he watched you take a bite, waiting for you to say something.

"What are you? A part time chef or something?" You tried not to moan as you chewed because it was that good. Mingyu laughed- a sweet, shy laugh that had his canines showing and his eyes forming crescents. "Thank you. I learned from my mom. I like cooking for myself when I get the time which is not often," he smiled- almost sadly.

"Well, you can cook for me all you want as long as you're here because this is amazing!" You grinned at him, cheeks puffed with food.

Mingyu chuckled softly as he dug in and you both started eating. It felt nice, to talk to someone new and spend time with them, someone other than Chan or Hoshi. It was a nice change- a change you probably needed for a while.

"So...What brings you here?" You asked as you finished your food, setting down the spoon and leaning back into the chair. Mingyu who was still eating, looked at you with a perplexed expression so you spoke, "I mean...we don't generally have guests like you. And it's not even a good time to visit...so I was wondering what brought you here?"

"Guests like me? What does that mean?"

"I mean...rich, okay?" You fumbled, feeling awkward. Maybe you shouldn't have asked. "Like...there are fancier places to visit, you know..."

Mingyu smiled at your words for a moment before he deadpanned, "I'm running away."

"Running away?" You gasped, almost jumping from your seat, "From who? The cops?"

"It would have been better but no, my family," he said, his voice as serious as ever.

"Oh...I see," you fell quiet. It definitely wasn't the answer you expected. You both remained silent for a while as he started out the window, lost in thoughts. "It must have been really bad if you're hiding out here." You spoke softly.

"It has always been," he mumbled. "I just couldn't take it anymore, you know? I desperately needed a break," he spoke more to himself than you. Instead of prodding further, you sat quietly, watching him and listening to his words. Seeing him now, he definitely looks troubled and you didn't exactly have the words to console him.

So you whispered, "Well, I hope it gets better."

-

Later that night, you find Hoshi and his friends and Chan preparing for a bonfire in the front yard of the cabin.

"Wow, you all are really having fun, no?" You said as you fisted your hands in your pockets from the chilly weather. The air was colder than other nights and everyone including you had put on some warm clothes.

"You wanna join us?" Seokmin asked as he stacked logs on top of each other.

"Nah, it's fine. You four carry on," you patted his back as you started walking back towards the cabin and saw Chan and Hoshi coming out with some boxes in their hands.

"Hey! There are marshmallows in the kitchen cabinet if you want.... nevermind," you finished as you saw beer cans and soju bottles in their hands.

"We're gonna get drunk baby!" Soonyoung yelled, grinning like a fool.

"Hyung, you look drunk already," Chan gave him a side look as they trudged towards the bonfire.

Laughing at their antics you climbed the stairs to the kitchen, preparing some hot chocolate for yourself. Holding the mug on one hand you knocked on the door to Mingyu's room, checking up on him since you haven't seen him since lunch.

The door opened revealing Mingyu in a baggy shirt and pajamas, his hair fluffy and messy.

"Hey," you chriped. "Wanted to check up on you. You wanna join the others in the bonfire?"

"Nah, I'm good. I've been watching them from the balcony." He smiled, his pointy canines showing.

"Oh, I see."

"You wanna come in? I've been getting lonely." He offered, moving away from the door to make space for you.

"Uh- I don't mind," you murmured, surprised that he asked you to come in. You tentatively stepped in and it was fair to say that you were surprised to see the room neat and pristine as most guests kept their room messy.

He ushered you into the balcony, which had a great view of your yard and the forest behind. You saw others laughing loudly as Soonyoung acted something out. Mingyu's voice pulled you out of your thoughts.

"You didn't join them?"

"Nah, they can get too loud sometimes," you chuckled, taking a seat on the bench. You eyed an empty mug lying by, guessing that Mingyu already had his fill of hot chocolate.

Mingyu took a seat beside you, stretching his legs and sighing as he mused, "The view is great."

You hummed your agreement. It was indeed. Not only did you have the full view of your yard and the forest, but you could see a vast horizon of the night sky, some stars twinkling through the clouds.

"It's even more beautiful during summer. You can see so many stars that it feels unreal." You told him.

"Then I will try to visit again during summer," he smiled and you were not sure if he was serious or joking. However you replied with a smile, "You're always welcome."

A silence falls among you two after that but it's not uncomfortable, as you both watched the night grow and Soonyoung and his friends got louder.

"Things got really hard for me, you know," Mingyu started speaking, his voice soft as he stared at the mesh of trees ahead. You were somewhat surprised at his words, but you didn't interrupt, opting for him to continue.

"Running a million dollar company was never easy but...it suddenly was unbearable. My parents always interfered in my work and how I run the company but I managed through all of that, really...until..." Mingyu heaved a long sigh, abruptly stopping.

"Until?" You tentatively asked, peeking at him.

"They want me to get married. With the daughter of their business partner. A marriage of convenience, really."

Oh.

You fell silent, watching him as the moonlight dimly lit the side of his face. There wasn't enough light to see his face completely, but enough to see the curve of his face, his sharp jawline and the sad, lost look in his eyes. Your heart suddenly ached for him. Silently you patted his shoulder, conjuring up some words to console him.

"That's ...awful, really. I'm sorry."

"I've never been so mad in my whole life. Can't they just leave me alone? They treat me like a puppet, like my only job is to live for them. I'm so done. " He said, his hands forming fists.

There's a beat of silence as you quietly patted his back and watched your friends get wasted by the bonfire before he chuckled softly, "I'm sorry for dumping all these on you. I just couldn't hold them in you know-"

"It's really fine, Mingyu. I don't mind. It would be nice if I could actually help you," you sighed, retracting your hand.

"Trust me, you are," he said and you caught a smile on his face.

"I suppose you don't have a significant other? Someone you could talk to freely?"

He shook his head. "That is why I came here. Needed to get my thoughts together, away from them. Not to mention I don't remember the last time I went on a vacation."

"And have you got your thoughts together?"

"I think so, yeah." He shrugged.

"What are you gonna do?" You asked tilting your head.

"Stand strong in my ground, I guess. There's no way I'm marrying their business partner, I'd rather die. And if all else fails, I'm staying here. I'm sure you have some type of job for me, right?"

You laughed at his words, "Maybe. But I'm not sure about your skills, Mr. Kim."

"Oh I'm a fast learner, Miss ___."

You both grinned at each other.

That night when you went back to your room, your thoughts were plagued by Mingyu and you could swear you saw him in your dreams too.

-

The next morning is brighter and shinier; the sky relatively clear other than some light clouds. After getting dressed and checking up on Hoshi and Chan who were still sleeping, you trudged through the cabin and towards Mingyu's room, before knocking on it. A fully dressed Mingyu appeared, clad in a white polo and jeans, his hair styled messily. He looked effortlessly attractive, making your heart skipp a few beats.

Damn it, what was wrong with you?

"Hi," you almost missed a breath, your face flushed with warmth.

"Oh, hey. I was about to come to you. I believe you were to show me around." Mingyu grinned, his pointy canines showing.

"And that is what I'm here for, Mr. Kim."

"Great! Let's get going. We'll take my car."

-

After showing Mingyu around for a couple of hours, you both ended up at the beach by the marketplace, sitting on the sand next to each other. The weather was nice; not too hot, not too cold as a light breeze flew by occasionally. Though you could see some black clouds gathering above, it wasn't to rain until evening if the forecast was correct.

"This place is so pretty," Mingyu mused, making you smile.

"I know right. The weather is great too."

You both watched the waves crash to the shore, occasionally wetting your feet as you both relaxed on the sand. There was a silence, a comfortable one as you finished eating the corndog you bought from the market earlier with some groceries. As you finished the last bite, Mingyu turned to face you and asked, "Tell me about yourself."

"What?" A squeak of surprise escaped from you.

"I shared a lot about myself last night. It's only fair I get to know about you too."

"Well..." You pondered. "There isn't much to tell. I've a pretty dull life, unlike you."

Mingyu chuckled, shaking his head, "Does the cabin belong to your parents? Is it like a family business type of thing?"

"No, not really," you smiled softly. "My parents are dead. The cabin belonged to my grandfather."

"Oh- I'm sorry."

"No it's okay. They passed away in an accident when I was a kid so I don't remember them much." You spoke, watching the sea, "My grandparents raised me. Growing up I've spent a lot of time in the cabin and when my grandfather retired he handed the job to me."

"Are they alive? Your grandparents?" He asked tentatively.

You shook your head, "Grandpa passed away a couple years ago and it's been a few months since grandma did too."

"I'm sorry, you must've been lonely," Mingyu offered, his voice soft.

You shrugged, "Yeah, like I said, nothing interesting going on in my life."

Mingyu hummed noncommittally and there was a few moments of silence before he spoke again, "Was managing the cabin something you have always wanted to do?"

You were quiet for a while as you thought over the question, "No...not really. I've just kept doing the job I was handed to. I haven't really thought about what I want to do."

"Well...I think you should hire a manager in your place and maybe...I don't come to the city and make friends, see what calls for you."

"Yeah, I've thought about it. But I don't know really." You murmured.

"Well, give it some thought. I could help you find a manager. In fact, I could help promote and upgrade your cabin if you'd let me. It'll be a good investment."

You laughed softly, not taking his words too seriously. He was just a guest. He was probably just being nice.

A gust of strong wind flew by, ruining your hair as it poked into your eyes and you laughed when your eyes landed on Mingyu.

"What?"

His hair was sticking in different directions because of the wind and you shook your head with a smile as you reached to pat the hairs back into place. It happened naturally, before you could stop yourself. For a moment your eyes meet as you quickly retract your hand, face heated.

Something was definitely wrong with you.

Mingyu's gaze stayed at you for a while; you could feel his intense eyes on you and you thought maybe he didn't like you touching him. Before your thoughts ran more rampant, he spoke.

"___?"

"Y-yes?"

"Do you...Do you have a home?"

"Home?" You were confused.

"Yes, home. Not like a real house but like a... person. Someone who makes you feel at ease, someone with whom you can be yourself without judgements, someone who keeps you cozy and safe and loved...like a home."

Somewhat taken aback by his words, you fell silent but their depth hit you and you found yourself thinking about it. Do you have a home?

No. No, you don't.

You shook your head, murmuring, "No."

Mingyu nodded taking his eyes off you.

"What about you?" You asked.

"Me neither."

You smiled, "Figures. Because if you had someone you wouldn't have run here but went to them."

Mingyu smiled, a sad smile gracing his lips. It was a somewhat bitter truth, he hadn't found his home no matter how much he looked for it. Maybe that's what he was doing wrong, looking desperately.

"Let's get going. It has started to rain," Your voice dragged him out of his thoughts as he felt small drops of water fall on his face. You reached your hand out to him and he took it, standing up. As you both jogged towards Mingyu's car, your hands remained connected, no one bothering to let go.

-

That night you had dinner with Mingyu again but this time it was you who did the cooking. After enjoying dinner over small talk, Mingyu like the gentleman he is did the dishes as you poured some wine for the two of you.

Sitting on the small table in common space by the window, you both watched the clear sky that had appeared after the shower. You sipped your wine, watching the vast expanse of stars that blinked in the dark sky.

"I think I've to go back tomorrow," Mingyu suddenly whispered, his tone so low you almost thought you misheard him. A bolt out the blue, you looked at him.

"Tomorrow?"

"Mmhmm," he fiddled with the hem of his cardigan as he stared at the table. "I've got so many calls and messages from work. My company won't run on its on, I can be gone for only so long." He sighed.

You didn't offer any words, too shocked to know that he'd be gone tomorrow. What is this attachment you've developed towards him? Why did the thought of someone, almost a stranger going back to where he came from, where he belonged hurt you so much? You didn't know what to label your feelings but realizing that you'd probably never see him again was tugging at your heartstrings.

Should you ask him for his number and stay connected with him? Is there even a point in that? You both live miles away from each other. Or should just take his advice and follow him to the city? Would that even be a good idea? Are you just reading all this wrong?

You were so invested in your thoughts that you didn't realize Mingyu was calling you until he shook your shoulder.

"You okay, ___?"

"Huh? Yeah...it's just, the news is really sudden. I didn't... expect you'd return so soon." You mumbled.

Mingyu sighed, his shoulder dropping a little bit. "Trust me, if I could I'd stay here forever. But...I can't keep running. I need to face my parents, the sooner the better."

At a loss of what to say, you just nodded. Reaching for your drink you took a big gulp, trying to calm your nerves. It's okay, you can do this. He's just another one of your guests.

You stood up, taking the empty glass in your hand, "Well, I better leave you alone now. I'm sure you've got packing to do."

You almost turned away; until a strong hand gripped your wrist and pulled you back, making you stumble towards Mingyu's body.

"Don't. Stay for a while. I don't want you to leave." His voice was soft yet deep and it immediately broke your resolve as you set the glass down and looked into his eyes.

He didn't let go of your wrist; instead only wrapped his other hand around your waist, pulling you closer, leaving just a few inches between your faces. You didn't tell him to move neither did you make any effort to get away from him- you didn't want to. It felt good, comforting as he held you and looked at you almost like you were his whole world. His eyes had so much emotion swirling in them and you were sure yours looked the same too.

"___?" His voice was breathy and it set your heart aflame.

"Y-yes?"

"Can I...kiss you?"

You inhaled sharply as his hold on you got tighter. You couldn't process a reply, overwhelmed with emotion. So you just nodded and Mingyu leaned in, pressing his lips to yours.

It was soft at first, his lips just resting against yours, as if he was testing the waters. When you didn't resist but only pulled him closer, he started devouring you, his tongue prodding in your wet cavern. Moans espaced from you as you kept pulling at his hair almost grinding on him, desperate for more. He was the same, kissing you with so much passion and vigour like you were the last female standing.

You somehow managed to tug off his cardigan between the kiss and when you pulled apart for air, Mingyu panted, "Can we take this to the bedroom?"

His deep raspy voice spread liquid heat throughout your body and you had to stop yourself from pouncing on him.

"Yes please," you breathed. Mingyu stood up straight, his tall and built body intimidating you in the best ways possible, "Oh baby, you don't have to beg. I'll give you anything you want."

Once again your breath was trapped as he picked you up, his hand under your ass to support you. When he dropped you on his bed and took off his tee you realized you were in for a long night. In the back of your mind, you also realized that this would make it even harder to let him go.

-

Next morning you were the first one to wake up as the sun barely seeped through the blinds. If you had to guess it wasn't any more than six am. Mingyu's hand rested on your waist as he remained snuggled against your back. It was so comforting that you almost forgot your reality and went back to sleep, until you remembered what had happened last night. Before you could start overthinking and possibly had a breakdown right there, you ever so carefully removed his hand from your body and scrawled out of the bed, grabbing your shirt and quickly throwing it on. Then you tiptoped out of his room despite the ache between your legs and rushed straight towards yours.

Slamming the door shut, your sat down, head in your hands. You've to now prepare for saying goodbye. Right, you just need to act casual and not let him know that you might have developed feelings for him in the past week.

His words came back to you.

"Do you have a home?"

You didn't have one until now but the realization that you may have found it brought tears to your eyes.

-

You spent the next hours wallowing in your self pity, curled up in your bed too afraid to get out and face Mingyu. Soonyoung dropped by once, knocking at your door and asking if you want breakfast, which you declined. Time slowly ticked away and you watched as the clock struck eleven. You couldn't stay inside forever. You needed to bid Mingyu a goodbye- that is if he hadn't left already. But you were sure he didn't; he wouldn't just leave without any words.

Sighing, you gathered every last bit of your courage and stepped out of your room. Immediately you saw Mingyu coming out from the opposite end of the corridor, the carry-on he brought with him in his hand.

"Hey, where have you been?" He asked, his steps getting quicker to come and stand in front of you.

"Oh- um, I took and shower and then dozed off, sorry," you lied easily, not meeting his eyes.

There was a beat of silence as you both stood in front of each other and when your eyes finally met his, a blush spread across his face like wildfire. The air was heavy with unsaid words and you coughed, trying to get rid of the terrible awkwardness.

"So, you're leaving now?"

What a nice question.

Mingyu seemed to be lost in thoughts as he snapped back to reality and scratched the back of his head, "Oh yeah, right. It'll be a couple hours drive so the earlier I leave the better."

Nodding you motioned your hand towards the exit, "I'll see you out."

Mingyu seemed to have something to say but he pressed his lips in a thin line and started to climb down the stairs, you behind him. Soonyoung, who was standing at the entrance gave you a conspirational wiggle of his brows but said nothing as he watched you follow Mingyu out.

You observed as Mingyu loaded his bag in the trunk, peeking glances at you every other second. When he finished, you spoke, "Well...good luck. I hope you can overcome your problems."

"Thanks. It won't be easy and my dad will probably take away my shares of the company but...I'm done living like this."

You nodded, smiling softly as you crossed your arms against your chest. It suddenly felt cold.

You both gazed at each other, saying nothing even though you've so much to say, as if the silence would carry your unsaid words to him. You were torn- wanting to talk about last night but chickening out knowing it was probably just a fling, a one night stand for him.

"___..." Mingyu spoke but the words died on his tongue. Not trusting yourself to speak, you swallwed the ball of emotions and looked at him with a curious tilt of head.

"...I hope you find what you really want to do. And I hope you find your home too," he said, his words so soft and gentle. For some reason you had a feeling that those were not the words he wanted to say yet you forced a smile and nodded, "You too, Mingyu."

His eyes swirled with so my emotions but you didn't know what he was thinking. He looked pained, just like you but you were too afraid to speak your feelings, scared that you misread him.

When you spoke no more, Mingyu sighed and backstopped slowly, "Well... goodbye, then."

You managed to choke out the words, "Goodbye."

Your emotions overwhelmed you, tears stinging your eyes as you watched him enter his car. Why did it hurt so much? Why did it feel like your heart was being ripped right out of your chest?

His engine roared to life and your stomach sunk. Was this really the right thing to do? Should you just let him go like this?

You made a split second decision that moment, just as his car moved forward a little.

"Mingyu!" You called after him, immediately making him stop the car. He came out, almost in a hurry, an expectant look on his face as you ran towards him. Then you made another split second decision as you wrapped your arms around his tall frame and held tight.

"I like you, Mingyu. I really like you." You mumbled in his chest.

He didn't say anything back but you felt his arms wrapping around you tightly and you stood there in each others embrace for a while. It felt like time has stopped, the warmth and safety of his arms comforting you and making you realize how you would have regretted if you had let him go.

Mingyu pulled back to take a look at your face, his hand cupping your cheeks, his warm but intense eyes on you, shining with love and adoration.

"Say something," you whispered, still unsure.

He chuckled, a light-hearted, carefree sound that made your heart swoon. "I like you too, if it wasn't obvious after last night."

Elated, you pulled his face down and kissed his lips as you felt him grin and wrap his arms around you once again.

"I want to go with you...to the city," you murmured into his chest as he rested his chin on the top of your head.

You couldn't see it but you felt him smirk, "Good. Because I think I found my home."

Your heart couldn't become fuller as you grinned like a happy child.

"Me too."

A/N 2: If you enjoyed reading don't forget to like and reblog and let me know your thoughts!

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