#i've had to buy so much shit
Text
had a nosebleed that lasted 40 minutes recently. i'm not new to nosebleeds but i think a stream like a faucet that soaks through the tissues in less than 20 seconds might be a new one. it started up again less than a day later. anyway the lower half of my face is peeling off and i look like a lobster and i'm developing joker lips and my eyes are bloodshot and my neck hurts and my eczema has crawled to my elbow my ears are flaking right now and a healed piercing started bleeding and i literally cannot keep up with all the side effects
shout out to accutane, which i think is like chemo-lite in terms of absolutely wrecking your body on purpose. evil pills. on the bright side my scalp does not produce oil and i haven't needed to use shampoo in a week
#blood tw#i put this off for yeaaaars and i feel validated in doing so#well. another 5-ish months to go#i've had to buy so much shit#i've gone through three tubes of aquaphor for my lips#bought like 3 new bottle of eczema cream to ensure i always have one near me#heavy duty moisturizer for my face (and i think twice a day isn't enough anymore)#i couldn't stand the feeling of body lotion so i got shower oil and now i slather myself in oil every morning#i knew what i was getting into but i was unlucky with the side effects#6 months of this and then maybe i'll stop having painful cysts on my face all the time. maybe. hopefully.
7 notes
·
View notes
Note
...am I just losing my mind or did yer icon become evil? I don't remember that BeAst behind Boe
yuuuump always been behind me
#ask#anon#pazuzu's just been there since the beginning#mainly because my avatar use to be of 2D in front of the d-sides album cover. or atleast one of the covers#and i had a lot of transparent edits of 2D over that cover#but when i had Boe made. i put him over it instead and i just kinda kept it like that cause i thought the colours together were really nice#as for the blurry swirls. i just like doing simple effects in paintdotnet#i don't really imagine them as much besides the blurriness of the minds eye. like this is how you'd see the inside of my brain maybe.#or not really my brain. boes minds eye maybe.#i don't know if i have a ''lore explanation'' for pazuzu in Boe's life in limbo/hell#or specifically in relation to Boe i mean#i'd still like to actually visualize what limbo looks like. or specifically the area in limbo in which Boe lives#which is just an old manor in the middle of nowhere. with old computer crts and keyboards in the mud of his back yard#dark purplish skies with maybe blueish roaming fields with no horizon#i do have a map file of me trying to create what i imagine to be Boes house but i've only blocked out his porch#i've got a loose idea of what the layout of his house's interior is like but nothing solid honestly#the reason he lives in an old manor is due to mystery case files: ravenhearst. inspiration-wise#use to play that growing up from bigfishgames. fucking love the look of that manor and the intense mess that resides within#i think i also think about the Gorillaz' o green world phase where they had kong studio's absolutely trashed with junk and shit#did actually buy MCF Ravenhearst the other day actually. specifically for higher res ref images of rooms#played a little of it the other day but i was so tired for most of that day so i didnt play for long#anyway. thank you for the ask anon :) yeah he's always been there. pazuzu kinda just blends into the background i think
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
regardless of the "learn how to be alone" dravel, being lonely actually is really bad for your mental health and can be very painful :p
#i've been doing so so bad#and i've had breakdowns frequently this past week#and i dont have friends or family or a partner or even a therapist lmao#so im alone and thus only feeling worse and worse#my mom has been in an unusual bad mood lately so i havent been able to talk to her at all#but today she asked me to go to her to the store bc she wanted me to buy smth#and on the way we watched the snails and she found them cute (she has never appreciated snails before)#and now i instantly feel a bit better and a bit more normal after only 15 min of hanging out with her#it's so easy for ppl who have family or friends or a partner to judge and criticize me#but like.... u have ppl close to u and u know nothing abt what it feels like to be in my position#it's so condescending and lacking of compassion#i dont understand your pov either but at least im not TELLING YOU directly how much i judge you#like ppl judge me so hard for feeling miserable in my loneliness... but it's easy for u to say those things#like u dont feel my despairing loneliness bc u have a fkn partner. u have fkn friends. or a fkn family. easy for u to judge me from up ther#anyway im much better at being alone than most ppl bc im still alive and im enduring the pain every day#other ppl have ppl around them 💀 only others who are all alone can understand how much it hurts#and it wont be fixed by loving yourself or loving to be alone or whatever other bs they use to criticize u ._.#being alone IS harmful to your health. there are studies on it and im not just making that shit up#i AM allowed to feel pain bc i dont have anyone#ugh esp ppl w partners who can receive physical and romantic attention.... when they judge me.....#stfu forever u have no idea how i feel 💀 and u could never know simply by having had a partner at all...#but yeah. it bothers me too bc i NEVER see someone on here and go#damn i hate this sm i gotta let them know by sending them anons or vague post abt them#like i dont get up in their faces and tell them all my judgemental or bitter or hateful thoughts abt them#even this post is only bc other ppl have taken the liberty to without my consent or having asked tell me directly how pathetic i am#how im not allowed to feel alone. how i have a victim mentality so on and so forth#i never tell other ppl things like that. even if i think them (which honestly i rarely do unless they're extremely toxic TO other ppl) i wo#say shit abt it to them.... ??? like why?#when i sometimes see like ppl have friends on here or talk abt their partners i can feel bitter and jealous#bc im surrounded by seeing things i so deeply crave but im not a humanbeing worth of those things
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
tomorrow is my first day back to work and I'm a lil nervous
I haven't been able to get anything written for here bc I've been trying to get a couple other things written (updating my Bill Cipher redemption fic and starting a Gyutaro x reader x Daki because I make poor life choices)
but I'm on light duty for a month, basically just sitting at the register checking people out, unable to do any stocking or anything bc I'm not allowed to lift anything over 15 pounds so I can't lift totes, bend much, or reach much, so I'm allowed to bring something to do in between customers... maybe I'll get some writing done? I feel as if I'll be slacking off bc that's how my brain works
but you know what, I kill myself for that store normally, I don't work full time simply because I can't afford medical insurance if I did, but even working only part time I give my all while I'm there, I'm not someone who slacks off. so if I'm healthfully and approvedly permitted to slack off and take it easy for a month, I guess I'll take it (... plus, I mean, I'll still be working, just light duty, it's not like I'll show up and get paid to do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, I'm still gonna be ringing out customers)
ANYWAY MY POINT IS-
get those last requests in! after I get home from work tomorrow, I'll be closing the askbox and won't open it back up till this batch is finished and I swear I mean that this time 😂
#mod post#should I have ordered Jessii Vee merch knowing I am not getting paid for two weeks bc I didn't work for two weeks ? maybe not#BUT DAMMIT THIS IS WHY I HAVE SAVINGS#'weirdness all the way ' button and YANA 'be kind' button and squishy pink gummi bear COME TO ME#... been uh. been doing a lot of impulse online shopping while I've been sitting at home bc idk it scratches a certain itch in my brain#and my mama has been nice enough to be buying most of my food when I usually buy my own just bc it's hard for me to walk around much rn#but I'm feeling a lot better physically I just get tired easily so hopefully I'm gonna be back to buying my own food soon#like I appreciate everything my mom and lil bro have been doing for me but MAN I don't like being UNABLE to do shit myself you know?#I took a shower this morning and it exhausted me and Mom had to be in there to help me the whole time in case I lost my balance or smth#it's better than it was the first week but I still hate feeling like I've temporarily lost some of my independence#I can't wait to shower by myself again and for it not to drain me#which is such a small thing to want and miss but like#OKAY TAG RANT OVER THIS RECOVERY IS JUST DRAGGING#I'm getting old tbh that's what it is I'm 30 and don't bounce back like I used to 😂😂😂😂
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
aheem heem...... whimper..........
#my family has spent so much money on me in the last month specifically just for my art fight attacks#my lil sister funded 90% of the supplies i needed by letting me use 80 dollars of her cash as long as she got to buy some stickers too#my mom listened to me ramble about my ideas and how i'd like to use a hole puncher and paper fasteners if i can get some#and then keeping what i said in mind she just ordered some right away and apparently they're gonna get here tomorrow#i have been so endlessly stressed about the paper fasteners in particular they've been giving me so much grief#but if what she got works well. i don't have to worry about it anymore#i can spend the rest of the money i had been trying to set away for art fight supplies on nice colored pencils#....and a pencil sharpener#every time i've mentioned the supplies i need everyone's basically scrambled to look through their shit and see if they have something#laying around. like on top of all that money my lil sis let me use she also handed me every single set of beads she had#because nobody else is doing crafts rn it's just me so why not let me use it#and i'm just. WAAAAAAAAA#i didn't think they'd be this nice to me over silly paper crafts that i'm not even making for myself#obviously it's super important to me tho i never thought they'd Judge me over it#i just didn't think any of them would go out of their way to help me get everything i needed#but they have! every single time i've mentioned shit i still need!
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
89/274
#[cutler beckett voice] every man has a price he will willingly accept; even for what he hoped never to sell.#i've connected the dots - you didn't connect SHIT.#i do love very much that vicki's so sure her loyalty can't be bought (it is. she's employed by the collinses and she'll not betray them.);#it's neat; too; that Burke isn't generally wrong but he's wrong in the specific: he hasn't apprehended that genre and loyalty work;#differently in collinsport than they do elsewhere. it wasn't just that the collinses that had the money to buy the manslaughter trial;#it's that the collinses ARE collinsport. there's no town without them. you can't buy a sturdy enough backhoe to tear those roots out.#idk. there's probably something there in that conversation about joe spying for burke; too.#dark shadows#burke devlin#barnabas collins#willie loomis#jason mcguire#victoria winters
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
anyways wanna hear about what I've been thinking about
#wordstag#Heavily redacted on account of I don't wanna dox myslef#Anyways like yesterday someone was like 'you're prettygood at driving' and I was like. I play a lot of Mario kart. I don't play a lot of#Mario kart that was a flat Lie. Also I hate driving ohhhghhhh my goodod it's like if they made the worst thing ever and if you do bad#Everyone kills you anwyas was thinkingof sending a letter to my friend. But I don't really know how letters work to be real I haven't sent#letter in 5 million years.#next topic was thinking about (not someothonh we would ever do) a gimmicky fundraiser wheee it's like there's goals and at certain#Goals you unlock different things. At 50 bucks we buy [GUY] a new mouse at 100 bucks we make a collectible pin line etc etc#at 200 bucks we do a choreographed dance routine#Next next topic like a bit ago we had an idea to make like#A pet sim but your pet is doomed to die. Pet sim where you outlive your pet#where basically you have a pet yeah and it's like a clicker and you gotta click and upgrade yr clicks ets#all while feeding this pet who's life span is only limited by how much money you make#and it was like. A slow decline yknow. The prices of everything gets higher snd eventually you can't afford to feed your pet yknow#something of a tragedy. You can keep playing but your pet won't be there anymore#and like at some point you don't have time to play with your pet anymore because you need to focus on making money#I told my friend this (golf friend) and she was like. You're insane. Horribly crudeidea but that was also the point?#What message about society or whatever the shit is there? I dontknow bro.#there r two endings one ending where your pet dies sad and you live on (you have like a taxes you pay rent or some shit#So you loose money and if you can't pay rent you die. Or something like that it isn't that thought through#then the other ending is like everyone dies forever but you died playing with your pet so. Peace and love on planet earth#Anywyas um. I've gotta head to bed man. Or they're gonna Get Me#I don't think I'm going to but. ominous.#dude the computer is loud as fuck are we mining bitcoin or some shit. Is it usually this loud ?????
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
July Haul, or: Wow, I'm So Good At Acquiring Books In Moderation, Huh.
#spoiler alert: I Am Not#books#book haul#maybe cold turkey ban months are also no good for me lol because then i do shit like this literally the next two weeks#I HAVE A DEFENSE IF ANYONE WOULD LIKE TO HEAR IT:#black helicopters and tindalos are books 2 and 3 in a series i really liked book 1 of#silence and home are from my first visit to my local indie IRL (never mind how much i've bought from them online)#garden was a preorder from A Long Time Ago (i forgot about it)#wake up was because i had to buy a birthday present for someone and i figured i could get one (1) impulse purchase also#i did have a coupon for HOME and SILENCE#and black helicopters is actually used!!! so that was nice#cheaper lol#black helicopters#the tindalos asset#caitlin r kiernan#always coming home#ursula k. le guin#feed them silence#lee mandelo#and then i woke up#malcolm devlin#a half-built garden#ruthanna emrys
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
#unfortunately i dont have anything to show you foday#or anything particular to tell you either#so how about you look at this flower i bought at the local store and i think about what to say along the way#actually the employee at the store gave me a discount#every time i buy flowers im forced to participate in human interactions with strangers and remember that we live in a society#i think now that summer is over and the grass is no longer that green and touchable we should buy flowers from time to time to remain sane#i had to take a break from meds for a few days last week and it went rather ok. except i was bawling my eyes out at every given opportunity#you know. there is actually a game that keeps making me cry even when i cant really physically do it#its not really that sad. i would say that the main genre of this game is actually comedy. but the topics raised in dialogues wreck my brain#i dont really feel anything at all while reading the text or anything like that. i dont ecen think about it that much#but every now and then i feel the wetness on my hands and realize i've been crying for a while because of what read there#thats how i cry 99% of the time since the day i was born and i didnt really think anything about it untill now#my psychiatrist told me i have severe problems with dissociation and recognising my own emotions#but a few days ago i was watching some silly local soap opera in the background (im binging this stuff its iconic) & it broke my brain#the raised topics in the series triggered me this much i felt The Pain™. idk how to describe it rather then The Pain™ lol#now im back on meds and i dont feel anything at all again. this or my ability to recognise my own emotions just went down to 5% again#sometime i dream of someone who would posses my brain for a few minutes so that they would help me understand what i really feel#or if my reactions to life events are correct. sometimes when i think that i know exactly what i feel i stop myself and recognise#that i dont know nor understand shit#the more i think about it the more materialistic i become#you can always measure something physical. you can touch it or even search every inch of it with a magnifying glass all you want#but you cant measure the feeling#you know its really bizzare that i feel so much attraction towards poetry while having so much trouble with the concept of emotions itself#you can call me pragmatic but im too lenient for that. you can call me lenient but im too pragmatic for that. idk man. im gonna sleep now
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
dc is doing a little mini relaunch after the current crossover finishes and honestly thank god because literally only two of their current ongoings interest me but there's a bunch of fun looking stuff happening in november that i might actually look at. and also it's starting series for several guys who should have had ongoings this whole time like the fucking JUSTICE LEAGUE
#i.e. black lightning JSA question batgirl. and i'll keep up with justice league now that they actually HAVE an ongoing#insane that it just wasn't happening for so long. why did they do that.#now i might actually take an interest in the mainline crossovers if there's a series that they're actually building from#then again. if it's crap i probably won't stick with it#but like marvel has three avengers books running concurrently CONSTANTLY. and yet dc hardly ever has justice league stuff going on#a team book is just. the obvious place to do all that stuff. cos i'm not reading batman i do not CARE about batman#but the new justice league has flash and black lightning and martian manhunter and other guys who i think are cool outside the Trinity guys#also i'm thinking i'll have a look at the 'absolute' universe. yes we are pointing and laughing at the batman design but it seems like an#interesting concept. and also extremely funny that they're going oh fuck marvel relaunched ultimates we have to do something like that too#but actually looking at the ACTUAL premise of the thing. it's more about making an extremely stripped back version of each character#designed to be at their lowest with no support systems in place#idk how it'll turn out. might be too edgy and angst filled for my tastes.#but it looks worth a look#for the record the two series i'm actually readign currently are poison ivy and the flash.#flash i'm actually collecting (i got in when it started and am yet to be disappointed)#lily dot tee ex tee#my pull list is getting so long. and my actual pull list of comics i'm buying is getting a bit much too#but i do not regret impulse subscribing to The Power Fantasy having just read issue 1. it's INCREDIBLE.#i've stopped getting ultimate x men tho. was good but i don't think really worth the money of getting it physically. i'll just pirate.#and tbh the current dr who run is eh. and also only a 4 issue limited series. but it's dr who comics of course i'm collecting it anyway.#immortal thor is a thousand times worth the money tho holy SHIT that book is SO GOOD and i'm SO GLAD i'm reading it physically#sorry i don't comicspost often but i had. a lot of thoughts.
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
so idk if i mentioned this but i got really into gardening this year. i've wanted to grow my own vegetables ever since i was a kid and now i have a garden i can actually do it. so i went all out. i grew tomatoes and strawberries and courgettes and peppers (they didn't go so well, wrong climate) and i spent weeks digging up the bamboo that the former owners planted (top tip: NEVER PLANT FUCKING BAMBOO, IT'S THE DEVIL'S PLANT) so i would have more room to grow things and it was SO FUN going out and picking my own food straight out of the garden, being like 'hmm i kinda feel like lettuce' and then just. going and grabbing some from the garden. AMAZING!!!
anyways then i went on holiday for two weeks and my family did not really take care of my garden while i was gone (fair, not their job) and the wind trashed my plants so i kinda lost enthusiasm cos it was all wrecked, and then all my tomatoes got a disease due to irregular watering because i couldn't be bothered going out there to water them every night, and THEN it was winter. so i lost interest and now i only go out into the garden to put potato peelings in the compost bin
and i was sat here like damn, i really hope that gardening wasn't just a short-lived obsession because it's easily one of the coolest hobbies i've had and also gets me away from the Horrors, aka, screens and the internet, and also let's be real, i spent way too much money on compost and plant pots, so it'd really suck if i never do that again, especially because everyone says the first year you grow your own food it's not really helpful financially cos all the supplies cost so much, it's only when you've been doing it for a year or two and figure shit out and don't have to start from scratch that it starts saving you money. so like. it would be nice to actually reap some financial benefits of what was a very expensive hobby lmao. (i bought OVER TWO HUNDRED LITRES OF COMPOST. IT SOUNDS LIKE A LOT BUT UNFORTUNATELY IT'S REALLY NOT, ESPECIALLY WHEN MOST OF YOUR GARDEN IS PATIO SO YOU HAVE TO GROW EVERYTHING IN CONTAINERS)
ANYWAY tl;dr the switch flipped in my brain again and i spent an hour today looking up different kinds of runner bean. there's a variety called firestorm, so obviously i'm gonna have to try and grow that. and i'm mentally planning out everything i'm gonna grow and now i'm chewing on the bars of my enclosure cos i can't start growing anything until april >:( boooooo
#i also really wanna grow different kinds of tomato#i had 8 cherry tomato plants this summer and it was GREAT. i never had to buy tomatoes. which was useful cos i eat a lot of them#but i wanna branch out (pun absolutely intended) and grow some of the cool-looking ones#i found some black ones. emo tomatoes!! i wanna grow them so bad!!#and i wanna see if my strawberries are more productive this year cos apparently they don't do much in their first year#i'm excited to try beans cos i've not tried those yet. and hopefully my peppers will do better this year...#and i'm also gonna try companion planting and weave some flowers in among it all for the pollinators!! I'M SO HYPED#i'm also gonna try and grow some more fruit this year cos that shit is EXPENSIVE#i'm not gonna do that from seed though. i'm gonna buy a couple of fruit trees. you can get raspberry bushes that are designed to grow in#pots. same with blueberries. my friend is gonna get me a blueberry bush for christmas!! so i just need to get the compost. they need acidic#soil. GAHHHH I CAN'T WAIT#pls brain. don't let this obsession die by the time i can actually get out there and grow things
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
are you the most annoying person in the world or do you just need to eat something: a memoir by me
#i feel like absolute shit rn fsdjkl#i think i talked too much today even though i barely spoke at all#but every time i talked someone else had smth to say and then the leader guy had to keep coming back to me like ''what were u saying?''#which was rly nice of him but like. if i just kept my mouth shut then he wouldnt have had to do that at all fdjskl#i mean like. he did ask me questions directly a few times. so he was trying to help me have opportunities to speak#but fsjkl i just. i feel bad for talking bc i know everyone else wants to talk constantly#and i can do without speaking fsdjkl i just... i kept stumbling over my words so badly and it was rly embarrassing ;-;#but i'd get nervous and panicked bc i knew i'd be interrupted at any second so i was just trying to find the shortest way to say my thing#but then i'd trip over my words bc i was so nervous and it'd take too long#and i just felt like i wasn't putting enough effort into my tone so i probably sounded rly flat today and i just. urgghhh#holding my head and tugging at my hair. why can't i just be normal dgjkl why am i so fucking annoying and weird and difficult#i dont know 😭 today was rly difficult bc i was just feeling kind of awful and like i was in the way all day#i did find some yarn colours i need at a flea market though and also some dip pens that i've always wanted to try#i figure $3 is a steal of a deal to try out dip pens instead of buying them brand new for like $30 fdsjkl#so there was something good from today! i just feel like i was annoying to be around all day idk fdsjkl#i honestly probably was totally fine sdfjkl i just. argh#and i hate going to stores w the centre bc i end up following the group leader around after a while bc i dont ever buy anything#i look around at the stuff i like to look at and then i am done and don't want to be a nuisance by being hard to find when everyone-#-else is done so i just figure sticking by the group leader is the best idea. stores dont like when i hang around the front for long fdsjkl#but then i just feel like a weird little kid trailing after their parent 😭 i wish i could just be an AdultTM but augh augh augh#what a fucking weird thing for me to do dsfjkl i just. dont know what else to do bc stores get annoyed w me if i wait at the front#and i dont want to wait outside bc then they'll forget im out there and look for me inside when theyre done LMAO#if i had income then maybe i'd be able to spend longer looking at things but fdsjkl theres only so much looking u can do when u dont buy#pippen needs 2nd breakfast
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
it's been a real struggle to find notebooks that I actually like, but I think I have found myself at a crossroads where I must ask myself--
am I the kind of person who would put function above form, and use the lovely, though plain notebooks from the office supply store
or am I the type to say fuck it, form over function, bitch, and order a custom-made one with a collage of my blorbo on it strictly for the meme
#squirrel speaks#i'm like... genuinely considering a custom one#because i have such DIFFICULT TO MEET needs as#1. hardcover that's not spiral-bound (because that shit digs into my wrist and i hate it)#2. lined (preferably a bit tighter than average because i write tiny but that's really whatever)#and 3. not straight-up fucking hideous#which is really not saying much because literally my favorite one i've had so far has been Plain Traffic Cone Orange#my threshold for hideous is LOW. the bar is TWO INCHES off the ground and yet it just cannot be cleared by so many stores#i doN't want glitter and sparkle and squishy bits and extra doodads and dumb quotes#i just want a nice flat design. maybe artwork. maybe a pattern. a cute character. something not obnoxious. is that really so hard#i'm tempted to just buy plain ones in every color there is#but i'm also tempted to make a wildly ugly collage#and just make some poor worker somewhere plaster Astarion's face all over a custom one for me For The Bit#...... though i am also thinking of just. buying a bunch of sticker sets and making a fucking scrapbook of it#i'm a goddamn adult; if i want to stick Astarion's face onto my notebook water bottle AND phone case I fucking can#who's gonna stop me; the police? hardly#the cringe police? they can try#i'm too slippery; they won't catch me. weasel-woman 2.0
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
i was supposed to go to ikea tomorrow to shop for things for my new room but i just saw svt album re-release announcement... the budget for ikea just drastically decreased
#i don't vibe with new svt albums but the old ones??? that's my home!!!#they make me so so nostalgic bc svt is literally the 2nd group i got into when i got into kpop#and that was when they released mansae#svt has always been one of the groups i've loved the most#and their 2015-2018 albums got me through so much shit and gave me so many beautiful memories#they're my home and i mean it#back then i had no money so i could not afford many albums. but now :)#i mean i'm not insane so i won't buy everything#but love&letter and director's cut... beloveds#i'm tempted to buy 1 version of al1 bc that's my favorite svt mini album and it reminds me of my past love.. it's so special#but we do have al1 at home!!!#k.txt#now i'm gonna watch svt mvs for the next few hours and cry agjsfjs i'm in a mood
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
THANK YOU DILMUN CLUB I NEED MONEY FOR MY AMBITION
#also oh shit that's so much money#this post originally claimed this was all the money I needed for my ambition and then I realised that this was only 300 echoes in rostygold#and I need.... well let us just say it is more than a thousand#damn this doesn't even buy ONE of the items I've been asked to collect#... temptation to spend it on ambition erased. had this been 3000 echoes worth I would blow it all immediately#(me here with my 1880 bill. ouch. there's equiptment I wanted but no.)
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
GRRRRR I HATE IT HERE I HATE LIVING WITH MY DAD AND STEPMOM IT'S THE WORST!!!!! I AM FUCKING MISERABLE.
#weed screams#i just wanna snap and yell at them for traumatizing me. I'm so angry. I'm so pissed that I've had to deal with so much bullshit here#I've only been here a week after moving out of the apartment i shared with my brother and I'm already going insane again#i have to buy my own food despite there being plenty in the house. I'm not allowed to bring dishes to my room even for just a few minutes.#there's two large excitable not well trained dogs that bite and scratch me#the cats in the house have to hide in the basement all day (to avoid the dogs) and i feel so bad for them#i feel like im the only one who actually tries to relate to my stepsister. i feel bad knowing she has to stay here too.#my stepmom makes rules without TELLING ME. and then gets all bothered when i don't automatically pick up on em#and the wifi sucks shit so i can't play splatoon#i can't wait to move to New York i just have to wait a little bit longer#enduring the horrors once more till i can escape to the big city#this living situation is both infuriating and saddening. there is NO REASON to justify how stressful it is to be here.#like. when i moved out of this place the first time my mental health improved so suddenly my therapist said i didn't need to see him anymore#that's not a fucking coincidence. my stress and anxiety has a root source and it's this hellhole of a house.
2 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
archieskennedy
It's the bloody Indy!
tulipsandsunshine
💮Ava💮
mangoliveapkmod
mango live apk mod
gclub456org11
GCLUB BACCARAT