#i've just never had a moment or reason to bring her up until now. and clearly this was very long overdue because look at this fucking post

[visibun]

Funny note about me suddenly being more openly passionate about lamias:

By default, I have prey brain. Full rabbit mode. I am bnuy. Hop hop wait why are you licking your lips like that

But, like... every very sudden once in a while, I get this "predator brain" impulse. And in those moments, lamias are all that I can think about

I seem to like projecting on the idea of a hybrid kind of lamia, that has the serpentine body of an African bush viper, with the tail ending of a rattlesnake. The human half is brown like me, but with pointed ears, and longer black hair that's either kept loose, or is tied back into a ponytail. The serpentine scaling will most likely extend into her human half; to what extent, I'm not sure just yet, but it might be covering everything up to and including her neck and minus her chest and stomach, leaving just her head/face, chest, and stomach down to her hips covered in human skin. These scales are tough, allowing her to take hard/sharp blows with minimal impact as if she were wearing armor.

She's wearing something light and easy to move in (maybe adjacent to a belly dancer's outfit, in black and antique gold), and is also kitted out with antique golden jewelry for vanity reasons. She's got teeth like a vampire's to showcase the marriage of her human and beast parts (all normal human teeth, but with sharper/more pronounced upper canines; those canines are where her venom flows to, and they don't retract since visible fangs are The Best), slitted golden eyes, a forked tongue, and sharp black nails (she's okay with melee weapons, but her combat preference stays at "hands, claws, and biting, with uncommon constricting").

She's also trans, has a small chest, and has defined/toned abs and arm muscles, of course, since this is me my hard projection that we're talking about. I just want her to have a body that's strong enough to do constricting, if deemed necessary! No thinly-veiled thirst motivations behind this choice at all.

The snake half is more along the lines of the colors/scales of the bush viper here (black scales + alternating black and yellow underbody), plus the rattle tail ending:

She's wearing jewelry on the tail, too, that's tied into the bottom-most notch there, that can be loudly and aggressively jingled about and clashed together as the tail is being shaken. Not sure what kind of jewelry, but something stringed/tasseled comes to mind.

She's long as fuck, by the way. To the song and dance of this visual:

Which, when laid out more accurately, looks like this:

So, like... picture this. If you will.

The enemy or target's been spotted, and now she's rearing up nice and horribly tall while hissing and bearing those sharp claws and teeth, all while there's a mix of heavy and rapid rattling and loud metal scraping and clanging behind her that all together are disheartening, distracting, and disorienting for whoever is standing in front of her, but is practically like a heart-racing and blood-pumping hybrid war song and battle cry to her for what's about to happen next. All the while, her eyes are locked on theirs, and she's got that confident, ruthless grin painted on her face, as if this fight was set to be the high point of her day.

And, because I exist for music, she fights to this song. Or, this song. I often choose either one of these two songs for exercising with kickboxing (to the point where I manually extended both of them to play on a nonstop loop for an hour, just so they last for the whole routine), so they always gets my blood rushing by default. And, with that scene description up there, it'd feel more like you're fighting a dragon rather than a serpent.

Do you get it. Do you see what I'm putting out there. Being a bunnygirl is nice and all, but I very badly want to be her, too. If I could draw, I would absolutely detail this as a sona for myself. But, at this rate, I might end up feeling enticed enough to just try and doodle her, anyway.

[lexirosewrites]

popping in for slick sunday thinking more about a fic i have in progress right now (quick cw for threats of violence) :

specifically a scene where omega!steve and alpha!eddie have their daughter (well, steve's daughter, but she might as well be eddie's too at this point) at the park or something. somehow, in the minute or two they looked away for some undetermined reason, their girl disappears. one minute, she was going down the slide, and the next, gone.

it doesn't take long to find her. five minutes, max. she didn't get far. but in those five minutes, steve's entire world is collapsing. he can't live without his daughter. he's on the verge of a panic attack when eddie finally spots her, just off to the side of the playground picking some flowers. steve's panic morphs straight into anger the second he sees the man standing next to her. a man he recognizes.

he storms over, eddie following behind like a lost puppy who has no idea what's going on. eddie had been fortunate enough in his years to never bear witness to true omega rage. until now. he'd heard stories of omegas protecting their pups, doing whatever it takes to keep them safe, but he had never seen it in real time until this moment. he doesn't know who this man is, but it's clear that steve does, and he wants him nowhere near his little girl.

steve calls his daughter's name, visibly trying to keep his cool and not scare her. she looks up, and the brightest smile stretches across her face. "look, daddy!" she calls back, holding up her tiny fist, full of flowers. "i got flowers!"

"i can see that," steve responds with a soft smile, one eddie has only ever seen him give to her. "why don't you and eddie take those very pretty flowers back to the playground, my love? i'm sure he can help you find something to put them in so we can bring them home with us."

eddie wants to protest. he wants to stay, to figure out who this man is and why steve is so hell bent on being alone with him. he distinctly smells alpha on the stranger, which only makes him want to stay more. however, he listens. mostly. he does take her back to the playground. they find a cup to hold the flowers in, in the bag steve packed. then she goes back to the playing, running around with some of the other kids. the whole time, eddie has one eye and one ear on steve and the stranger, who isn't such a stranger.

the conversation starts out hushed. eddie can't hear anything. soon, though, there's shouting. eddie can't help but watch, slowly migrating closer in case he needs to step in. whether that would be to protect steve or the stranger, eddie isn't so sure.

"you're the one that didn't want this, tommy!" steve spits at the stranger, tommy. "you're the one that walked away!"

"you can't keep me from my own kid, steve," tommy spits back. "i have rights."

ah, eddie thinks to himself, this is starting to make a lot more sense.

"you gave up those rights when you walked out and told me to never contact you again, asshole. she is not your kid. she's mine."

"she has my DNA, doesn't she?" tommy crosses his arms. "you'll either let me see her, or i'm taking you to court for full custody. your choice."

"like fucking hell you are. i swear to god, tommy, if you come anywhere near her ever again, i will slit your fucking throat."

that's all i have thought out for this so far, and it'll be much more detailed and planned out if/when it eventually gets put into the fic itself, but i've been thinking about it a lot lately and thought you might enjoy it :)

happy slick sunday, friend :)

protective omega steve is the best!! thank you for sharing and happy slick sunday to you too!!💛

[liveontelevision]

Hiii ! I love all your work 💛 I was wondering if I could please have Lucifer with a reader who’s really curvy like Jesus rabbit or Meg the stallion and spoils our duck king just making sure he’s always taken care of he deserves all the love 🤣

SORRY FOR THE DELAY

But i've been wanting to do this prompt for a while because some ridiculous angst came to mind with it, so thanks for the request!

CW: Panic attacks and fluff and kissin'

Nostalgia | Lucifer x Reader

Not everyone was lucky enough to have an appealing form in the afterlife. For instance, you had the curves that brought adult film directors falling to their knees and begging for your participation. Your long hair nearly swept the floor, creating a sweetly flowing curtain to bring all focus to your contrastingly round bosom and hips. Really, a sight for sore eyes. Still, the flattering comments go hand in hand with the more unsolicited ones.

You were a rare case in Hell. You didn’t exactly belong, having made very little mistakes to bring you here, and you luckily fell near the hotel. That didn’t prevent the rare interactions you’d have with other sinners, the teasing and harassment.. After getting an earful of the princess’s mission, you had no reason to not give redemption a shot. The hotel was your first stop in your afterlife.

“Damn, girly, you musta just died!” Greeted with a friendly-looking group, a tall spider demon ushers you over to the bar. He examines you casually, looking your form up and down with a hum. “Hey Charlie, got any extra clothes for this one? I don’t think I got anythin’ that’ll fit.”

Of course, comments like this never truly meant malice, but it still left you instinctively holding your arms to cover your body in some sort. His words force you to look down at your unfamiliar form, wide hips and bust, compared to the lengthy stature of this kind stranger, and he was certainly right.

When you arrive in Hell, you usually are left in the rags you died in. And your death was not a pretty one. Your clothes looked covered in blood, and sopping wet at the same time, covered in little holes and tears in the most undesirable spots.

“Oh! Sure! We made sure to get some spare clothes for residents- until you can find something more your style, that is! Compliments of the hotel~” Charlie sings her words out proudly. You’re brought to one of the hotel’s rooms after some very casual and fleeting introductions to the rest of the staff and comfortably settle into the new space.

After some much-needed rest, you finally dress.

It was very.. business casual. Similar to what Charlie and the hotel manager -Vaggie- wore, a soft red blazer and a skirt that hugs your curves just a bit too tight. Any dress shirts laid out were splitting at the buttons. You opted out, relying very heavily on the quality of your jacket to keep your entire chest from being exposed. It should work for now. Until you can find something else, at least.

Tugging at the hem of the skirt and adjusting your top as you leave the room, you’re too frustrated to realize you hit another demon with the swing of the door. A quiet yelp and shuffle leaves you frozen in place for a moment. You hadn’t been in Hell long, but you knew to avoid confrontation in any form. Who knows what kind of monster this sinner is?

You let out a sigh of relief seeing a figure with a handful of paperwork, despite some of them being scattered to the floor. It must be a staff member. Thank god, it's a staff member. You finally snap out of your panicked state.

“Sorry! I-I wasn’t paying attention..” You quickly kneel down to scoop up as many documents as you can, but not without struggling to do so. You continue to pull at your skirt in between motions. The stranger is at your side, doing the same and neatly piling them back in his arms.

“It’s fine! It’s fine! I got it!” He seems to rush ahead of your reach, trying to keep you from assisting him. He seems stubborn. You peak up for a moment, seeing a pure white being, with similar features to Charlie’s -the red irises, the rosy cheeks, the golden locks- and it still takes you a moment to put everything together.

Shit.

Charlie briefly mentioned her father was around the hotel, but was far too busy to be there for introducing new residents and that you might see him around! Maybe..! Followed by a sigh of defeat. The thought was nearly erased from your mind until now. Until the King of Hell is sitting directly in front of you on the ground, his hand hovering over yours.

You hadn’t realized your eyes had met his own until an exclamation from behind you brings both of your attention to an approaching Princess from behind.

“Dad! This is perfect!” She squeals. You watch his expression immediately change at just the sight of her. His smile and eyes were suddenly bright as day as he stood up to greet her with a quick squeeze. “This is our newest resident! She just arrived earlier today!”

His eyes fall to you, still kneeling over the last few papers that you were handling while the two conversed with each other. He holds his hand out to you. You hesitate, but take it without question. You're stood up without any resistance, the angelic strength bringing you to your feet with a startling ease. You tower over him, being just a bit taller than Charlie. His hand continues to hold yours for a moment longer as if he were waiting for you to finally release it. But, you might’ve been doing the same.

“The, uh- papers, I can.. Take those.”

Shit..!

You finally pull your hand away and pass along the papers you still held, allowing him to adjust them back into his pile neatly.

“Good! We can get some introductions out of the way!” Charlie hooks each of you under her arms, forcing you to bend a bit to keep yourself from being essentially choked. Charlie also seems stronger than she looks.. must be genetic. “Dad?” Charlie pats her father’s back and he stumbles forward, towards you.

“Oh- Oh! Right, um.. You may call me Lucifer, I usually work in my office, but if you happen to run into me, or hit me with a door-” He mumbles those last words with a smile, and you cover your mouth to stifle a laugh. “-then I’m more than happy to help.” His tone clearly shows that this was a scripted introduction, one that Charlie had made him prepare and recite to many others.

But his smile;. It seemed so natural.

The whole interaction leaves your heart thumping without you even realizing it until he walks off.

“Shoot.. Those don’t really seem to fit, do they..?” Charlie lets out a thoughtful hum and takes in your tight wardrobe. You instantly clasp your hands in front of you, after adjusting the skirt yet again. “That’s okay! I think Angel might be free soon if you-”

“-No need! I was just about to head to the tailor! It appeared my poor jacket has been torn yet again.” A static voice accompanies a shadowy figure beside Charlie. “I am more than happy to accompany our new guest on my outing.”

Alastor, the facility manager.

“That’s so nice of you Alastor! But- only if you’re okay with it.” She turns to you with a bright smile.

He seemed nice enough.. And tailoring your clothes did seem easier than buying a whole new wardrobe for now.

“Yeah.. okay! As long as you don’t mind my company-”

“Oh, I’m more than delighted to show you off to Cannibal Town.” His voice turns sultry for a moment, and the entire comment leaves you tense.

Show you off?

Wait.. Cannibal Town??

Since you’ve already agreed, and Alastor’s arm is already offered out to you, you quietly link them together and follow his long strides.

“Yes..!” Apparently, this was a moment to celebrate, you hear a tiny woo! from Charlie as you walk on. “You two have fun!”

-

You were surprised by the whole experience. Alastor went out of his way to not only send you to the tailor to adjust your current outfit, which was handled swiftly and skillfully, but to take you to a nearby shop and find some little things; accessories, jewelry, shoes, anything you could really dream of. You insisted you didn't need anything fancy, but apparently, it was another courtesy of the hotel.

During your shopping spree, you slow your stroll to take in a magazine that had been left on some bench. It had Lucifer on the cover. He had a shimmer in his eyes and wore a devilish smirk. He seemed so photogenic, compared to the tired man you had ran into earlier today. You're tugged along by Alastor before you can think any further.

Yet, you’re stopped again. A delicate necklace, a string of pearls that would sit sweetly on your chest; you spot it all boxed up in a red velvet display, looking expensive as ever. Still, you can't keep your eyes off of it. Like a child in a candy store, your eyes are locked on the glass case it's withheld.

“Something catch your eye, my dear?” Your greedy trance is broken when Alastor makes his presence known behind you. You reel your hands away from the glass and quickly shake your head.

“No, not really.” You say with a cool tone. “Nothing important.” As you trail off, assumingly done with this interaction, Alastor is quick to discover the source of your wonderment. He shows a devious smile to no one, then lets out a curious hum.

“Well, this could be fun..”

-

“Ooh! You look perfect! How was your trip?” Charlie seems to greet you at the door every time, even without you knocking. She's immediately in front of you, lifting your arms and examining the previous outfit that had been tailored for you.

Despite her lack of spatial awareness, you still felt comfortable enough to go on about your day with Alastor. The mentions of gruesome sights and lavish shops somehow all seem to fit together and paint a clear picture of Pentagram City and Cannibal Town. Charlie looks as if you're reading her a bedtime story, sweetly smiling and nodding with every little detail. at the mention of a certain little jewelry store, a cold sensation falls on your shoulders.

Pearls?

You place your hands against its length as you feel the heat of large hands on either side of your head.

“Alastor? What are you-”

“- your hair, my dear.” Silently, you pull your hair to the side, waiting patiently for him to release the clasp. It feels like he's taking his time. Or maybe it's the multiple sets of eyes suddenly on you that are making you feel unsettled.

As Alastor stands over your seated form, still working the jewelry between his talons, Charlie is going on about some other topic you are having trouble focusing on. And peeking over her shoulder, for just a second, you catch Lucifer passing by.

He seems to glance at the interaction then back forward, then turning his attention completely to you. He’s stopped in his tracks. His eyes are wide, the bags underneath only accentuated by his shocked expression. You're waiting for him to say something.

Do something.

Anything.

Anything but this damn staring game.

Luckily, Charlie's hyperawareness finds her father. She smiles and waves in his direction. Once he's broken from your trance, he almost looks like he's.. blushing. Just a tad pinker in the cheeks than before. The sight leaves you gripping your hair with a little gasp. He quickly moves on.

And so do you.

For a few weeks at least. Something you’ve picked up; your first day at the hotel and finding Lucifer not once but twice, was a rare occurrence. He was practically nowhere to be seen most days. An occasional passing in the hallways led you to try and smile and wave at the least, but you were only met with a disgruntled-looking king and a handful of paperwork. You'd see him while you worked on exercises with the others, stopping what you were doing to meet his eyes. Those moments were fleeting, usually only lasting until some other demon pulled your attention.

your mind automatically went to the worst, though. while he seemed nice enough, and you wouldn't mind getting the answer to that questioning expression he wears around you, there's one possibility you can't overlook.

Your wardrobe had to be accumulated to Hell. there weren't exactly seasons, but some days, with the absolute boiling heat, you were at a loss to the sight of Alastor and Charlie in a full suit. You even wondered if Husk got too hot on days like that. You wore more casual clothes, shorts and skirts, tops that seemed to hug you snugly despite their couture tailoring, often paired with a thin jacket or cardigan that draped over your shoulders to hide your striking silhouette.

Even though you hid your curves, for sound mind you told yourself, you wouldn't be surprised if the King of Hell was one to gawk or consider such sinful things. Any curiosities turned to delusions over time.

It was one of those nights. Unbearably hot, you refuse to leave the cool of your hotel room. You're fiddling with the pearls around your neck, a common occurrence considering how frequently you wore them. Using all your strength you convince yourself to get out and top off the cool drink that you'd finished moments ago. The idea of bumping into anyone in your current state left you in a state of discomfort, though. Despite the heat you’re trying to avoid, you are covered in one of those loose cardigans that you refuse to be seen without. An overheated mess, you still pushed yourself to the kitchen.

After a successful trip, you shut the door quietly behind you and let out a sigh that releases all tension.

“Oh- uhm.. Hi.” you're suddenly tense again. 

You turn your head quickly to see the king, of course. The one who’s been plaguing your thoughts no matter how often you deny it. He greets you with a small wave and another smile that seems as genuine as it does strained. With your body pressed against the door, you take a moment to process his words, then take each side of your sweater to cover your more revealing loungewear beneath it. “Were you looking for something? I can help-”

You quickly shake your head.

“No no, I'm fine, I just need.. Uh…” You scan the room as you talk, absentmindedly avoiding looking in his direction, and spot the oasis of water bottles nearby. “Just needed a drink!”

You begin to head to the door, escape any confrontation, with more water than you truly need.

“Have a good night, uh- your highness- your.. Majesty.. Sir?” You groan at yourself for the fumble, but the air is suddenly met with a peal of calming laughter.

“What, did you forget my name?” That's when you take the time to finally look at him. Leaning on the counter across the stove, he seems to be waiting for a kettle to finish boiling. You blurt out small talk without even thinking.

“It's a little late for coffee, don't you think?” You almost want to clamp your hand over your mouth, let out a quick nevermind!, and turn back to-

“It's tea, actually.” His voice is soft as ever. You only respond with a quiet hum, ignoring your inability to take your eyes off him. Both of you feel the need to fill the silence, Lucifer just happens to beat you to it.

“Would you.. want a cup?”

You examine the cup in your hand, it has intricate details, gold and purple colorings. It matches his. The tea inside looks golden, still steaming. Despite the heat, you can still feel the warm condensation drifting across your nose each time you take a sip.

Why did you agree to this, again?

“So.. If you don’t mind me asking, I’m a little curious about what keeps you so busy.” You fill the silence next, the tension in your body melting with each draw of tea. “I didn’t think the King of Hell would need to do paperwork. I thought it was all just.. Brimstone- and fire.”

“Mhm, it’s all for the hotel actually. I haven’t had to do this much desk work in a few.. years…” As he speaks, you watch him add an absurd amount of sugar and honey to his cup. You almost lose focus, trying to process how sweet that must be. “There’s a lot I still have to talk to Heaven about, and it’s just.. Easier for me to do it. I mean- I’m sure Charlie could handle it, but.. Listen, Heaven has a lot of rules, and who knows them better than-”

“-An angel?” You were just planning on putting an end to his rambling, he seemed to be getting worked up. His story is a well-known one from Earth, but it’s also mentioned throughout Hell. It’s not like you admitted to knowing some big secret, but his suddenly pained expression leaves you feeling guilty.

“You know it..!” His strained response is paired with a nervous smile. The room is met with another silence, you focus in on the clinking of his cup, the swirling of the spoon in his drink to bring together his overly sweetened tea.

“So it’s all for Charlie.. you must love her a lot, huh?” You ask softly. His eyes quickly meet yours.

“Of course I do! She’s my daughter!” He blurts out, almost immediately becoming flustered by the realization of his outburst.

“Sorry sorry! I mean, it’s just.. Sweet. Seeing how hard you work for her.” You try to recover your apparent mistake, and the room fills with yet another deafening silence. Or you thought so, at least.

Lucifer's eyes began to glow at your words. He still looks to you, even though you've made the decision to keep your eyes on the swirling remnants of what tea you had left in the cup. And his smile? It's subtle, almost not visible from far away, but it looks like the first time he's genuinely smiled in months.

And it’s because of you.

“I should get back to my room- so.. good night, then?” Your eyes still avoid his for the time being.

“Good night-?” he draws out his words as if he were waiting for you to finish his previous statement.

“Hm? Oh- Good night, Lucifer.” You clarify in your statement that you do in fact remember his name. Simply meant as a ploy to tease you, Lucifer finds himself rather pleased by the sound of his name coming from you.

-

You were sure you had thoroughly embarrassed yourself that night. He was kind enough to offer you tea and chat, and you got him all riled up over nothing. that being said, he still seemed to smile and greet you when you passed him in the hallways.

Which.. had been happening more frequently as of late. You'd see him at least two or three times a day, and you'd catch him leaning against a nearby wall during exercises. It was a bit peculiar, considering he never seemed to have time to stop and overlook such activities in the past. He’d stop directly in front of you, but far away enough that you'd be able to catch his eyes and smile his way. And you always did. because his response was a sweet glow, a blush to his pink cheeks, and a sparkle in his eye.

It was intoxicating.

A few weeks on, Lucifer decided he was a drinker. Whenever you were, at least. He'd find you at the bar almost every night, walk up, and pull a come here often? before sitting beside you and discussing completely irrelevant things for the night.

Lucifer wasn't exactly a lightweight, but you were more than capable of holding your liquor. you weren't even sure how that worked exactly. An angel, a being of pure light, how would he get tipsy? Maybe the alcohol sent you down this train of thought, but it didn’t last long before you felt a head drop to your shoulder.

Quickly examining your situation, you find that Lucifer may have had one too many. He continues to lawl his head against your shoulder, almost nuzzling to find some sort of comfort. His eyes flutter shut, and he seems to be humming and muttering incoherent sentences under his breath.

You adjust accordingly, allowing him to sit comfortably on your side. You aren't exactly sure why.. this could all be a game to get you in his bed. That's probably the case.. it almost always is. Then, you start to listen.

“You're beautiful~”

      “How'd you end up here? You're more of an angel than I am.”

“You have the sweetest smile.”

      “So sweet to me.”

You wonder if he knows what he's saying. Or if he's even talking about you, exactly. But just the implication that it is, is leaving you heated in the cheeks.

A part of you is ready to leave him here alone and let him sleep this off at the bar. Another part is.. Flattered. You haven’t felt flattered in a while. Those kinds of words almost always led to unreciprocated advances. Above all, he’s far too intoxicated to make any real decisions tonight. At the very least, you bring him over to the couch near the fireplace and throw a blanket over him.

“Mmn.. Stay…” A small hand takes a hold of your wrist and you're brought back to his side. You're.. tempted. To say the least. He's laid on his side, his eyes half-lidded and staring at you sweetly. You free your hand and brush back the hairs that had fallen into his face in the process of getting him to the couch.

“Good night.” You say softly. He hums to your touch, leaning his head into your palm as you rake your fingers through his hair.

“Mmy name-” you barely hear him say.

“Lucifer. Good night, Lucifer.” You roll your eyes as you speak and he sends you a pleased grin.

-

He didn’t seem to remember that little interaction, but the memory kept you company most nights. The little passing in the hallway made for easy conversation, despite your growing feelings. He would make little mentions at first,

Come here often?

      Careful with your door, this time!

Ready for round 2 in the kitchen?

Well.. that last one was meant to be an invitation to get tea again. He didn't quite understand why you were so flustered by that.

After some time, you'd offer to help with his work. He was hoping for some more time together, but he would never expect you to offer your help. He never expected you to be concerned by how much paperwork he's always carrying around.

To care.

He accepted, but only after some insistence. You'd spent plenty of time together after that. You'd bring him tea on occasions, see him stressed, and make a game plan to get through some work, and if he really needed it- just keep him company while he read over some documents.  He'd tease, and call you his little secretary, which you would respond to by calling him sir- and in turn, he would instantly heat up and regret his choices.

After some time, you'd become more of a distraction than a helping hand. You'd tell him about the books you'd read as a child, the fantasy stories, and how you'd always play pretend; play the prince coming to rescue the princess-

“So you were saving the princess?” He asked.

“What, don't you think I'd make a dashing prince?” You'd joke, puffing out your chest and acting ruggishly handsome. The action would cause your comfort coat to slip, yet you didn’t seem to mind.

Other times, you’d be listening to music, which always had to be a struggle, considering the constant bullying of your taste in music from Lucifer. He'd pull up true music, which usually was.. polka. But sometimes, he'd bring up these pieces, with a renaissance feel that were fiddle-heavy.

Prime for dancing.

You'd catch him tapping his foot, and one day, you gave in to your desires. Spinning him around in his chair, you take both his wrists and drag him to his feet. You twirled him around in a fit of laughter and he was quick to join along. He’d even sing along if there were lyrics, of course you didn't know the words one bit, but you were more than happy to simply listen to his angelic voice.

Once the music would come to a halt, you’d pull him in for a quick embrace. Your breaths were both labored, and to recover, Lucifer wrapped his hands around your waist, leaning into your form. With the height difference and your proximity, his head would rest comfortably at the top of your chest.

Finally catching your breath, it took you a moment to realize.. that this didn't bother you, either. You would even stand there, letting him hold you and look up to you for some time. His eyes were tired as if he could comfortably sleep right here in your grasp, yet he still smiled at you.

-

“What abouuttt… A ball?” Charlie and Alastor both turn their heads to the source of the recommendation. Lucifer is met with silence. “ ‘cause uh… We have enough people for it now! And it could be fun to celebrate that way.. right..?” He laughs nervously, ready to take back his words already.

You've been at the hotel for six months. Since that was around the time Sir Pentious was redeemed, it was starting to become a big deal. Charlie decided she wanted to celebrate with everyone, possibly as a farewell, so she gathered whoever was nearby to brainstorm. But neither Alastor nor Charlie was expecting such a bold idea from Lucifer.

Of course, he had his reasonings. you had talked a few times about your love of fantasy. The costumes, the extravagant events from books, the romance- the idea of a princess finding a prince.. A king, maybe. Feeling absolutely selfish, he saw the idea of a ball as a good time to celebrate you.. your progress, that is.

“I used to throw them all the time, It'll be perfect for her.” He says smoothly. His motives go unnoticed by Charlie, at least.

“That sounds fancy~ let's do it! It'll be great for some of the newer residents to mingle and make friends and- ah! This could definitely work!” Charlie’s already planning the night out in her head, when Lucifer glances at the radio demon, who's been silent for an uncomfortably long time.

“What's your problem, bambi?” Lucifer scoffs.

“Nothing at all! I'm sure our guest of honor will be delighted by the entire idea. why, it's the smartest idea I've heard from you in months! I'll let her know right away.” With a quick insult, he dissipates into his shadow before Lucifer has a chance to scold him. Charlie turns to her father, beginning the planning process immediately.

-

“A ball?” You turn from your vanity, facing Alastor in a mixture of confusion and fear as to how he managed to appear in your room without using the door. “like with.. dancing and fancy dresses?”

“Precisely! To celebrate your time and progress at the hotel! You'll be the guest of honor, my dear!” He presents the idea like a sales pitch, waving his arm in a feat of awe at the very idea. “What do you say?”

“Well.. it sounds… like a dream. I’ll need something to wear though, I didn't think about-”

“Not a problem! I'm more than willing to assist you with that as well.” You hum in thought. He did seem to get your style and preferences down pat when you first arrived..

“Sure..!”

-

The night came quickly. You'd be surprised how much faster a lavish event like this is done in the right spirits. Lucifer seemed over the moon that you were looking forward to it, and he clearly put his best efforts into the entire event. Once everything was to his liking, he finally stepped away to let Charlie finish some other details. This was the first event he’d truly planned since Lillith- well.

She was usually the one to get everything together. Lucifer was never one to mingle with Sinners, yet she was always insistent that he at least attend. He's surprised he picked up as much as he did just from those moments.

Standing proudly at the top of the stairs, his eyes scan the room. Hands on his hips, he's sure nothing could ruin this moment.

“Quite an accomplishment, your majesty!” Lucifer immediately stands corrected. “I'm sure our Belle of the Ball will be delighted by this display, wouldn't you agree?” Alastor props his elbow against the king's head, forcing a groan of disgust from him. He pushes him away with a huff.

“Yes, I'm sure she'll have fun. No thanks to you.” He snaps, running his hands through his hair to try and maintain what had been crushed beneath Alastor's taunting.” I didn't see you helping at all!”

“Why, I did my fair share! Our darling dear needed some assistance with her gown for the evening. I would say I dolled her up quite nicely, but I'll let you be the judge of that, Your Majesty.” Alastor leans on his microphone, looking out to the decorated lobby in a rare moment of calm between the two.

“Well.. good. She deserves some pampering. She's.. too good for this realm, that's for sure. Sweet, caring- always trying to help me- the hotel, I mean- even though she never needs to, she's just..” Lucifer lets out a thoughtless sigh, getting too distracted by his memories of you to truly think about his words. “She’s perfect.”

Alastor simply laughs at the slip of vulnerability.

“Quite a lovesick little thing, aren't you?” He pinches Lucifer's cheek condescendingly, only for him to swat his hand away in retaliation.

Lovesick?

“I must say, you certainly have a type.”

And with that, he's vanished. Lucifer looks around, only thinking on what he said for a moment before he's being beckoned by Charlie.

-

There aren't many sinners at the hotel, but with a few plus ones and some hired hell-born to cater, the lobby was perfectly filled with a small band and a dance floor to boot. lucifer walks in circles around the room. He's certainly dressed appropriately for a king hosting a ball, but he's still fretting over his clothes;

An elegant coat drapes over his shoulders, simulating a sort of cape that trails behind him as he paces the large area. He's shoved a decent amount of sweets in his mouth already, occasionally adjusting His long black gloves that cover most of his blouse. He went a bit bold, by the suggestion of one spider demon, with a corseted belt, the rivets tightened with a silk red ribbon.

why is he so anxious? He wasn't planning on confessing his feelings, which he's only recently accepted after being described as lovesick.. Perhaps it was your absence.

He's talking to Charlie, making awkward small talk with Vaggie, doing anything to keep his mind off of you. It's simply impossible. All he can see is your smile, your reddened face at the slightest tease, and your eyes when-

An announcer brings all attention to the top of the stairs.

You'll be the first to admit, that a big formal introduction isn't exactly your style. But Alastor, the good friend he is, manages to convince you that it might just be fun! and will only be a few moments!

This was the first time you'd seen the venue, considering you'd been locked in your room the entire day. Not exactly your idea, but Charlie insisted on it being a surprise. Besides, tonight's a night you decided to step out of your comfort zone. The announcement was one thing, but with Alastor helping find you a dress, you were definitely more.. exposed than you planned to be.

A neckline that traveled across both shoulders and flowed down to the floor in its own cape-like fashion. Mesh sleeves that followed up the sweetheart neckline of your gown emphasized your bosom, where your familiar pearls sat comfortably. The body hugged your abdomen right down to your hips, where it draped to the floor, trailing down the stairs with each step. A detail you weren't especially keen on, a slit that traveled up one side of your legs, revealing the sweet smoothness of your skin there. Any demonic features you adorned, horns or tails, were decorated and jeweled accordingly. With heels to bring your already tall silhouette to a new level, you were quite literally the Belle of the Ball. 

If Lucifer's jaw could drop any lower, it'd hit the floor. He's in the back of the crowd, watching you carefully descend the stairs. He took in your body for a moment, then your gown, and your flowing hair- and.. the… Pearls…

You certainly have a type.

“Fuck.” A rare curse slips from Lucifer's lips. It catches Charlie's attention and she kneels down to whisper to him.

“you doing okay, dad?” He nods slowly. “Good.. good..! This is going perfectly, this was a really great idea! She looks great too, doesn't she? Al did a good job, right?”

Alastor, you bastard.

She excitedly goes on, but Lucifer simply isn't there. He's watching you enter the crowd as the music starts back up. Some people are dancing, some are still chatting and drinking, but all he can see is you. A decent group of people have approached you, asking for a dance, offering drinks, or purely just being there to compliment you.

“Dad!” A quick shake of his shoulder brings his attention back to Charlie.

“W-What- what is it?” He says quickly, still trying to process the startling connection he’s made.

“We're gonna go say hi, are you coming?” With her arm wrapped around Vaggie, Charlie Is moving in your direction.

“Oh! Umm..! Maybe later, I just gotta.. check on these.. band- the band! I'm gonna see how the band is doing! Yeah!” He looks around the room as he speaks, finding the nearest excuse. They shrug before waving him off. and Lucifer.. Goes to check on the band.

Picking up a champagne flute on the way, he leans against the wall near the band's small platform. He feels like he’s been punched in the stomach and stabbed in the heart equally, his free hand gripping the ribbons of his belt.

Good god, you look divine. And he’s head over heels for you, that’s something he can’t deny.

But was it for the right reasons? Was it all just because you looked like-

“Lucifer!” He immediately recognizes your voice, sending a chill up his spine once he sees you fast approaching. He straightens his posture and puts his empty glass down on an incoming tray to pick up two full ones.

You let out a sigh of exhaustion, taking one the flutes. It was his plan to offer the second drink to you, but.. then he watches you take a sip, your dark lipstick leaving an unmistakable imprint on the glass. He gulps down the champagne, already needing another.

“I heard you did most of the planning for this, it’s beautiful! Thank you.” You smile, placing a hand on his shoulder. His muscles are tense under your touch. Keeping a hand on him, you lean away to take in his suit. “You clean up nicely, you know.”

He clears his throat and quickly nods. “y-you-” His voice cracks. “You- too..! How uh.. how’s… things..?” You cock your head to the side and finally move both hands to your glass. Leaning against the wall beside him, you start pinching and toying with those damned pearls, again.

“It’s fine. I’m getting a lot of attention.. which is a good thing, I guess? It’s just not exactly what I’m used to.” You say softly. He finally looks at your face, your eyes looking a bit tired. It’s clear you’re pushing yourself through this night. A bit of guilt strikes him, not exactly thinking of this sort of thing when putting the whole ball together. “but! It's still fun! It’s just like those books I was telling you about! That wasn't on purpose, was it?” You tease.

He responds with a nervous laugh, high-pitched and cracking. “M-Maybe, maybe not..”

You chuckle and immediately calm in his presence. With the bustling crowd in front of you, you can’t even tell how stressed Lucifer is.

“Hey.” just that word alone, leaves Lucifer weak in the knees. “This was never something I thought I’d be into.. but it’s actually a lot of fun. I didn't think I’d enjoy such a big crowd, but.. I do. I feel more confident after these past few months. Because of exercises- and Charlie. And because of you, too.” You smile down to him, a bit more of a distance than before due to the heels. “s-so.. thank you, for that.. I guess that’s all I'm trying to say.”

“Of course.” He says softly. Looking into your eyes calms him from his entire ordeal. Those eyes are yours. And no one else's. You’re the first one to notice the next song dying down.

“Would you.. want to dance?” You ask shyly. Your pink cheeks still show over your makeup. Lucifer musters the best smile he can. Offering out his hand, you take it a bit too eagerly.

On the dance floor, the song seems a bit slower than the last. You keep your grip on his previously offered hand, and place your other on his shoulder. He lets out a shaky breath, his free hand fidgeting a bit.

“Are you okay?” You lean down to ask in a hushed tone. He quickly nods, hesitantly placing his hand on your waist. What used to be a common occurrence, dancing in his workshop, left him gasping for air. Without those few drinks in his system, he’s sure he would've passed out by now. “Mm.. Good.” You smile and stand straight again, bringing your bodies closer.

You’re looking down most of the time, watching his feet and attempting to follow suit. He catches your focused expression every now and then and finally can't help but laugh quietly.

“Here, try this.” in a few quick motions, he’s reaching his arm up and out, sending you for a quick spin before bringing you back in. You’re giggling, your nerves easing. He’s adjusted your positions, bringing both hands around your waist. You instinctively pull both arms around his shoulders. “Better?”

He watches your eyes widen, as you assess the new stance. Despite the intimacy, it is in fact easier to follow along this way.

“B-better.” You say under your breath.

With the silence between you both, Lucifer is begging his mind to focus on the music, and not on your scent or your little heartmelting remarks. And a small part of him needs to examine your face, take in its details, to remind himself who he’s with right now.

The music stops, and you’ve linked your hands together behind him, looking down to see his sweet smile. It’s silent, the band taking a moment to begin the next song. Lucifer’s hands relax, dropping from the tight grip on your waist to your hips, then just slightly running his fingers across the slit on your dress unknowingly. You yelp, leaning away from him. He does the same, only now realizing the contact to your bare skin he had made. He’s suddenly red all over.

“O-oh, it was an accident, I-I wasn’t trying to- I’m sorry, are you-”

“Would you happen to be available for the next dance, darling?” Alastor butt's his way in, standing at your side and offering his hand out. He’s dressed up a bit as well, a fancy-looking suit with a long tail coat. It's still in that tacky red color, though. Lucifer groans.

“Oh! Sure-” You take hold of Alastor’s hand, and Lucifer hates that he can notice the size difference. His long fingers curl around your delicately gloved hand. “don’t worry about before, Lucifer, it was an accident, I know. I’ll find you after this dance?” You reassure him.

Lucifer nods, looking over to see Alastor’s wicked grin.

Oh, that piece of-

“Sure! I’ll be around if you want me! if you- need- I'll.. be over there.” Lucifer blurts out and struggles. The next song begins, and you’re skillfully wicked away by the radio demon.

-

Part of the renovated hotel gave a nearby balcony to the lobby, which was also decorated for the event. Lucifer needed air desperately. He's standing at the railing, looking to the town and fidgeting with his wedding band he hadn't dared to take off in thousands of years. he’d barely noticed its presence until recently.

He's thinking of you.

Thinking about your smile and the shine in your eyes. How excited you get about fantasy and fiction, and how you would go on and on about your books to him. He's thinking about how soft your hands always seem to be, and how desperately he wants to be held by you. To feel your lips on his-

“Lucifer?” He jumps at the sudden intrusion of his name, yet again.

“Ha! You gotta stop sneaking up on me like that!” He wheezes out, turning awkwardly to lean on the railing.

“I've.. been trying to get your attention for a few minutes now.” You say, with a hint of concern.

“Oh.. sorry.”

“Are you really okay? I'm sure the ball was a big deal, but is there.. something else?” You place your hands against the railing, standing beside him. “Because I.. I would like to think you’re my friend after all this, and if there's anything I can do to help-”

You place a hand on his shoulder and he jolts away from your touch. “Lucifer, what's wrong?”

“Nothing- nothing! It's.. the ball! you're right. It's been.. a lot of work, but as long as you're enjoying it, that's all that matters!” He says his words faster than he can properly think of them.

“if you say so.. and I am enjoying it, it's almost perfect.” You hope to reassure him, since you can't get a straight answer from him.

“Almost, huh? What could've made it better?” He relaxes a bit, turning back around to lean on the railing beside you.

“If I.. well, I guess I need to admit something.”

Oh no.

“No time like the present, right? Who knows when I'll be redeemed, so.. I should get it off my chest-”

No no no no-

“Lucifer, I.. think I-”

Before you can get another word in, he’s pulled you down by your wrist and pressed your lips against his. He muffles a yelp from you, and you're immediately melting into his touch. His own eyes flutter shut, yet he hesitates to place his hands on your waist. You catch a glimpse of it briefly, taking his wrists and gently bringing his palms flush against your waist, which he comfortably takes.

You pull away to see a gasping, heated, mess, who's hands are flexing against your sides. You chuckle and brush your fingers through his hair.

“Breathe, Lucifer.” You purr into his ear.

He immediately reels away from your touch, his hands held on either side of his head.

“I can't! Nope! This won't work! It just- w-won't- I-I cant-” Feeling a sudden guilt that you may have gone too far, you carefully take his wrists and pull his hands away from his hair that he had nearly pulled out.

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pressure you into it, if you don't feel-”

“I'm in love with you.” He says quickly. Despite the confusion you're feeling, your heart rate quickens. You can't help but feel elated that he's returning your feelings you didn't even get to confess yet.

“But, I just can't! You look- you're too- I thought if I just-” He lets out another frustrated groan. You take a risk and kiss his cheek. It works. A little.

“I know you haven't been in Hell for very long and you may not notice it- Hell, you might have looked completely different on Earth!” His tone goes chipper for a moment, hoping that might be the case.

“Not.. especially?” You tilt your head in confusion. Well, that doesn't help. He scoffs and runs his hand back through his hair.

“You are.. strikingly similar… to the queen.” He says incredibly soft.

The queen.. of Hell?

So, his-

“Oh. Oh! I'm so sorry, I-” 

“You shouldn't apologize for how you look, dear, that's not..” He sighs between his words. “That's not fair. None of this is fair.”

You're both seated at the bench facing out to the city. The quiet hum of the music from the lobby carries over to the balcony.

“So.. you said you are in love with me?” You're the first to break the silence.

“W-well, yes. At least, I thought so, until I realized-”

“When did you notice? About my.. looks?”

“Uhm just tonight. your dress… is similar to something she'd wear.”

You nervously run your hands along the dress, suddenly feeling a bit self-conscious in it.

“And.. when did you realize your feelings?”

“I think.. I started feeling something that one night.. in the kitchen?” He plays with the hem of his corseted vest as he speaks. You nod him along. “W-when you said my name..?”

You let out a little hum, like you were more than satisfied with the answer.

“What do you like about me?” You add on, turning to look at him. “Lucifer?”

He shudders at his own name, knowing damn well you did that on purpose.

“Y-You're kind-hearted.. and you're very passionate about literature and even help with my paperwork sometimes so you're- you’re selfless and funny and you can handle all my jokes, which is quite a task, I'll tell you now-” you laugh a bit in response. “And your laugh.. is amazing. Your voice, obviously. And your eyes.. you're beautiful.”

This was all meant to be an effort to calm him down. To have him talk through this panic attack, But you found yourself completely in awe of what he said.

“W-Well.. none of that has to do with my appearance, does it?” A moment of clarity for the both of you, Lucifer meets your eyes.

And they're not Lilliths'.

Of course, they’re not.

They're yours.

He leans in a bit, taking his hand and placing it over yours. You look down quickly at his touch, then back to his face. It takes mere seconds for his lips to meet yours for a second time. It's less frantic this time.

More sure.

Placing a hand on his cheek, he's leaning into your touch, tilting his head to lock your lips together even deeper.

You can taste the alcohol on each other's breath with each passing moment. In an unthoughtful moment, you lick along his lips. His hand grips yours a bit tighter, and he’s parting his lips, allowing you to freely explore his own mouth. How you manage to wrestle with his tongue and keep it as tender as possible still baffles him.

Pulling away to breathe on occasion, you take every chance you can to whisper out his name. And each time, he responds with a quiet whimper, almost buckling down into your arms after a while. You take his hands, bringing them to your waist. He immediately takes notice, pulling you closer from the small of your back. He's a bit stronger than you anticipate, almost losing your composure, you take hold of his top for some stability.

He leans into your chest, raking his fingers up and down your exposed back from the low cut of the dress. His mind is clouded. His thoughts stuck on the way your skin is warm to the touch, despite the cool night time breeze hitting you.

You're perfect.

You're perfect.

You're-

“L-Lucifer-” You squeak out.

He reels away to look at you, panting heavily. Your lipstick is thoroughly smudged across your lips. And his, for that matter.

“I'm sorry, are you okay?” He asks timidly. You nod as the two of you adjust any clothing or hair that had come undone in the process. You run your hands through his locks, attempting to fix what you had been gripping at so desperately moments ago. He's straightening out his top as you do so. He snaps his fingers finally, cleaning his face from any lipstick entirely. And neatening yours in the process.

“Wh- why didn't you do that in the first place?” You smack his chest with a huff.

“I like it when you fix my hair.” You roll your eyes and he only chuckles, wrapping his arms back around your waist to plant a quick kiss to your cheek. “You’re too good to me.” He says softly.

“Mhm- Ah, by the way-” You take a hold of his cheeks and plant a heavy kiss on his lips, only recreating a deep stain. His lashes flutter a bit at the bold interaction, hazy eyes barely able to meet yours. “I love you, too.”

You.

I love you.

♡♡♡

So like.. I was brainstorming for this prompt and I thought "You know who else has Hella hourglass figure?"

Lillith! Surprise! Get traumatized, Lucifer! Huzzah!

Taglist:

( @vififofum / @thornwolfy235 / @tinywolfiegirl / @chipper-chip / @bat-boness / @misfitgirlwrites / @nayomi247 / @lonelynmisunderstood / @escapistoftherealworld / @b4ts1e / @hamthepan / @kyo-kyo1 / @looking1016 / @polytheatrix / @littledolly2345 / @lillianastuff / @yourlocalcryptidbee / @0strawberrysorbet0 / @themageofblood / @jayyyayaysblog / @floralsightings / @azmosposts / @8har0ley8 / @actuallyspiderwoman / @sirenetheblogger / @christineblood / @kaytemchugh / @cimadreamer / @simpdevil66 / @m3ow1 / @acrazyartist / @redfoxwritesstuff / @4k1to / @meesachan / @corvusskid / @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx / @alon3lylov3r / @sapphireravensworld / @mjmdragons / @catticora / @carrie0-1 / @shamblezzz / @cassandras-nest / @the-maladaptive-daydreamer /@str4wberry-t00th-anon / @voxrei / @raythegay / @whoknowswhoiamtoday )

[spicyclover]

You used me

Summary : It's bittersweet to think about the damage that you did.

Next part of "You betrayed me"

Hope you’ll enjoy it. Let me know in the comment section.

Thank you! :)

Lots of love, xxx Spicy Clover

When the door closed that night, I collapsed on the floor of my kitchen, on the cold tiles. In the weeks that followed, I spent them in a blur. I kept myself busy to stop thinking, to stop thinking about you. I lived on automatism. I'm a fucking robot, because of you. I get up in the morning without motivation and go to bed with the ball in my stomach to meet you in my dreams.

I’ve been going over and over our conversation. I’m a bet. A fucking, humiliating bet. I have never been more shame than that evening. Everyone knew and no one told me. They knew that I loved you so bad, and I let you treat me like that. I'm so naïve. I just want myself back. I just wanted to be enough. Don't you think I loved you too much to be used and discarded? Don't you think I loved you too much to think I deserve nothing? But don't tell me you're sorry. You should feel sorry for yourself. An eternal love bullshit you know you'll never mean.

Once the door was closed. My friends left with you. Because you bring them more than I could ever and it hurts like hell. To see these "friends" I know since my early childhood mock me for my naivety. Until this day, it is hard to believe. I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one, In a short time you became the reason I get up in the morning and the reason I like to dream. And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone.

It's bittersweet to think about the damage that you did. You betrayed me.

For the first time since we broke up, I saw you in the street. You had your arm on a new girl. Showing her off like she's a new trophy. A happy and rested look on your face. I wish I dared to come running and punch that smile off your face, but I couldn’t move. You hang out in public with her, but never with me. I went home with tears in my eyes and no morale. It was the first time I managed to leave home after weeks of moping.

The more time passed, the more I felt my head getting out of the water. My body was less numb and I started breathing again, enjoying what I used to love. I adopted a little puppy at this time of my life, the kind we talked about in our long late-night discussion about our future together. You gave me your word. He's the world to me now. Milo, the dog.

The late afternoon often takes me to the beach. I let Milo run on the deserted beach and play with the waves. I take advantage of this moment of calm to observe the sunset. I breathe in and out deeply, letting my last thoughts of you go into the sea. I feel free. After three months of hell, I’m back to normal, like you never existed.

"Hi, bab..." That voice is yours. Why do you come back? Why do you haunt me like that? I turn around and there you are, in all your splendour. Your curls are more beautiful than ever, your face more beautiful than ever. I can't let you win. I walk away from the beach. Milo follows me. I feel your eyes following me soon it's your footsteps I hear. "Please, Y/n, I need to talk to you."

"I think you said enough. You should go back to your new girlfriend. I think she's getting lonely." I said without looking back. The waves fade and I feel your hand grab my arm.

[lena-in-a-red-dress]

Alt Assistant AU Pt 6 NSFW

Under the cut!

The morning after their first tryst, anxiety churns in Kara's gut. Looking at Lena's sleeping form beside her, spread and open and relaxed as though she hasnt a care in the world, she wonders if this will be a one time thing. A singular supernova of two bodies colliding before spiralling off into the expanse, never to meet again.

She needn't have worried.

Lena wakes with a purr and a smile, leaning in for a sour kiss before throwing her leg over Kara's waist and levering herself upright. Being knelt over gives Kara a full unobstructed view of Lena's full, rounded breasts, pierced nipples and all. Her mouth goes dry.

"Last night was..." she rasps, not quite sure what word could possibly encompass the experience. All she knows is that she wants more. More and more and more, until Lena consumes her entirely.

A dark eyebrow lifts. "Was....?" Lena prompts teasingly.

"Unbelievable," Kara offers. "Euphoric. Rapturous--"

Lena curls down and kisses her again.

"Intoxicating," Kara sighs when she can breathe again.

Gaze turning soft, Lena regards her from above.

"Last night, you asked me how many times I've thought of this." Green eyes watch her closely. "How often have YOU thought about this?"

"Fucking?" Kara says brashly. "Not as often as being with you. Close to you. I..."

She trails off, suddenly uncertain. Being Lena's assistant, effectively invisible in so mundane a role, has given her confidence. Without having to either hide herself or set an example or embody an ideal, Kara knows she's thrived in a way she never had in the previous reality. But now... being so near to Lena pulls the rug out from under her, leaving her feeling unsteady.

"What?" Lena asks gently. Her head tilts slightly, and Kara thinks she sees genuine care in her features.

"I don't want this to be one time thing."

Lena's lips curl in a barely constrained smile, delight appeared bright and sudden. "Well, then..." she says, her voice all but rumbling. "I suppose it's a good thing I have no intention of letting you go any time soon."

----

Life after that remains relatively the same. In the office anyway. Kara is just as attentive as she's always been, seeing to Lena's every need and many of her wants as well. She brings all of her knowledge of Lena to bear, and she knows Lena is a little surprised at how well she can "guess" what Lena likes and doesn't like.

But as soon as they log off for the night, and go their separate ways at the doors of the LuthorCorp building, all bets are off. They always come back together at Lena's apartment-- Kara uses her speed to arrive before Lena, and simply hides herself a reasonable amount of time before knocking on Lena's door.

They fuck. A lot. Not a single surface in the apartment is safe from their ravenous hunger for each other. For the briefest moment of time, Kara worries that her desire may be one sided, but when she bides her time to let Lena set the pace, Lena's come for her just as ardently.

But as the days pass into weeks, their trysts ease from need to comfort. Their escapades are punctuated by take out meals on the couch in varying states of undress, and light conversation about each other's histories. Kara uses what she knows of herself in this reality and makes up the rest, and Lena reveals what Kara couldn't find online.

Her broken heart at boarding school, her brief shame in her sexuality before she embraced it out of spite for her bigoted mother. Her knowledge of her mother, slightly more than Kara remembers her knowing-- that she'd been a folk singer in a small town before moving to the city to make a better life for Lena. How her mother had died-- cancer, instead of drowning.

Some happy memories too, of her early days with the Luthors-- more than before but still too few-- before Lionel had died in her teenage years.

Her desire to do good, even under the watchful attention of her brother, who sees only profit.

When the weeks pass into over a month, Kara allows herself to believe this might last. That she might be allowed to keep Lena in her life forever. Until one day Lex Luthor himself appears in Lena's office.

She and Lena are just returning from another meeting, and Lena immediately addresses her brother with a warm welcome, preventing Kara from needing to interact with him directly. She pretends not to feel the heat of his glare as she exits to return to her own desk.

As she sits, Kara casts her hearing through the wall between them, listening closely as they exchange pleasantries that seem friendly enough. But it's not long before Lex's tone sharpens.

"I was surprise to hear you'd become a cliche, ace."

The silence that follows is frigid as Lena stiffens.

"Screwing your assistant?" Lex smirks. "Come on."

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize you and dad had cornered the market on diddling the secretary."

Lena's response is cool and measured, but it kicks Kara in the gut like a mule. She almost misses the darkening of Lex's tone.

"Don't be snide..."

"Oh, but your hypocrisy makes it so easy." Lena huffs. "Jesus Lex. I never gave you grief about Eve, or even Mercy. What gives you the right--"

"I own this company!" Lex barks. "Everything you do is a reflection of me and our name. It's time you remember that."

"As if you'd let me forget--"

"I let you have your little pet projects, let you use company funds for your silly outreach ideas, and you do this?!" Lex takes a breath, letting it out in a huff of feigned sympathy.

"We have rules against this sort of thing, ace, and they're in place for a reason. If you choose to continue, and the board catches wind of it, I won't be able to protect you."

This time, Lena doesn't respond. A quick glance with her x-ray vision shows Kara the inevitable slump of Lena's shoulders.

Lex's senses his victory. "Think about it," he says. "I know you'll do the right thing."

When Lena still doesn't say anything, Lex takes his leave. The smirk he shoots Kara on his way says everything. She's lost.

Later that night, Kara enters Lena's office on quiet feet to go over the next day's schedule. When she finishes, Kara pauses.

"Do you need anything else before I leave?"

A subtle prompt for Lena to leave too, despite the paperwork spread on the desk promising that Lena has no intention of calling it quits.

"I have some proposals to review," Lena says quietly without looking up. "I won't be home until quite late."

"I can stay--"

"No," comes the clipped response. "I have what I need."

Kara grits her teeth, trying not to let her hurt show. She leaves with a nod, forcing herself not to look back until the door shuts behind her. Only then does she turn to peer through the wall, and witness the sad features Lena covers with both hands, elbows resting on the desk.

Scowling, Kara turns on her heel and heads home.

[thewritingofspencerrose]

Good Mornings

Jack Hughes x girlfriend!OC

"Ja-"

"Jesus Christ, Z! Fucking knock would you?"Jack can't help but yell, body jumping and making mine jump along with his, my book falling from my hand.

"Dude, calm down, this is important," Is Trevor's response, at the very least closing Jack's and my bedroom door behind himself once he notices our lack of clothing from last night. "Also, I thought I heard something going on on my way to bed last night."

"You're right, it is super important how pervy you are for listening to my girlfriend and I have sex," Jack grumbles, pulling the quilt up on my body so that it covers more of my front, my eyes drifting up from the pages of the book to meet those of Jack's best friend, the boy looking entirely too comfortable in our presence.

"You and I both know that's not what was going on, you two are just noisy," Trev complains, rolling his eyes and making his way to plop in the desk chair in the corner of J's room, elbows on his knees and hands folded.

"Is there a reason that you're in here trying to sneak a peak of my naked boyfriend?" I can't help but groan, just wanting to return to our rare moment of peace, the ever incoming insanity of the house looming.

"I've seen Jack naked a million times, I have no interest in doing it this morning," Is the response I get, his entire being smug, earning the tossing of my book. At his head.

A kind gesture, I know.

"Hey, what the hell!"

"Should I be concerned that Z has seen you naked more than I have and we've been dating for three years?"

"I've been his best friend for sev-"

"Trev," Jack scolds, silencing the boy into a pout, although I can't focus on it too long as Jack's hand is pulling my chin towards his, kissing my lips. "Baby, you're literally laying on top of me naked right now. I don't think you're in a position to let him make you jealous."

"This is disgust- Wait is she laying on you nips out?"

"Trevor!"

"Dude you don't ask that to a woman! No wonder you're single!" Jack groans at the same time I scold Trevor for his words.

"I'm just saying - " He appeals, hands raised in a surrender, "How are you not actively a tree trunk man? Your hot as hell girlfriend is laying on you in her birth day suit and you're just laying there while she reads?"

"We had been enjoying a quiet morning until you barged in," I remind, his eyes turning to me.

"And you! You're hot -"

"Please stop there before I feel the need to hurl at the words that were about to come out of your mouth," Jack interrupts this time.

"What's to say that he's not hard as a rock?" I can't help but tease, Jack's brows hitting the ceiling as Trevor chokes on his spit.

"Ok, gross, I'm leaving."

"Bring me back my book! I want to finish the chapter I was on!" I demand, Trev tossing the book to Jack to catch as he makes his way to the door.

"We're going to pretend that this never happened, because otherwise I may be the one barfing."

"Trev, you were literally the one that barged -"

"Nope, can't hear you, see ya!" The boys calls, barely out the door and letting it shut behind himself.

Rising onto my hands, the shift catches J's attention, his eyes meeting mine.

"Yes baby?"

"You need a more normal best friend."

[bedoballoons]

Ok I'm back since I'm no longer busy and was wondering if you could do a lyney,scaramouche,Xiao, kazuha and maybe tighnari with a giyuu or like a reader with a cryo vision that allows her to create life forms similar to alsa I guess and maybe where she has a pet that has like pyro abilities

Welcome back!!! Sorry it took me so long to get to this request done but I absolutely loved writing it and I hope you enjoy!!!

─⊰⁠⊹ฺ✿𝔾𝕖𝕟𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤⊰⁠⊹ฺ✿─

{༻~Cryo vision~༺}

CW: Fluffy!

(Includes: Lyney, Tighnari, Xiao, Kazuha, and Scaramouche!)

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

𑁍༄Lyney:

"No no no! Wait!" You called out to your little pet, hurrying after the fire ball as it rolled along the beach of Fontaine, unbothered by your shouting and flailing. Just as you started to run out of breath, about to use your vision as a last resort, your pet jumped into Lyneys arms, licking his face all over while the magician laughed happily, "Well now, look who it is. Causing trouble for my beautiful partner again are we,...ah but alas you're to adorable to stay mad at." Lyney scratched under your pets chin, earning a happy little noise of approval.

You caught your breath, watching the whole scene unfold and holding back the urge to go, awwwwe. After their cute little moment your fire ball ran back to you, followed by Lyney who immediately pulled you in for a kiss, placing his hat atop your head while you giggled happily.

𑁍༄Tighnari:

Tighnari watched the bird in front of him with amazement...it's entire body pale blue in colour and resembling that of a ice statue...yet it could move like a real bird...he'd never seen anything like it before. That is until you'd used your vision in combat, animals of a frozen nature springing forth into battle while he stood there in complete shock, slightly awestruck by the entire situation.

"And you've been able to do this ever since you received your vision?" His ears quirked in your direction, making you smile for no particular reason, "Yep...ever since I could use the powers of cryo I've been able to make animals of all shapes and sizes, and they stay until I say otherwise too." Tighnari nodded, very gently petting the bird while it chirped away in content, "Incredible..."

𑁍༄Xiao:

If you had told Xiao a couple hours ago that he'd be using a large ice bear as a ride because of a injury he had sustained during a fight over your pet fire ball...he would have turned away from you and acted like you were insane, but now here he was, laying back against the freezing pale blue exterior of bear while you held your traumatized pet in your arms like a poor little baby. The entire two hours before this feeling like something out of a strange storybook.

"You know...when you said you were good with animals...I thought you'd meant animals of natural origin, not ones created by your vision." Xiao turned his head in your direction, his dark teal green hair sweeping over his face and his yellow eyes almost looking a bit dazed as he stared up at you. You looked away shyly, a light blush coating your cheeks as you watched the sunset, "I'm still good with animals, I just prefer the ones that are a bit cold...they usually have the warmest hearts."

𑁍༄Kazuha:

You weren't sure how long you'd been laying in bed, listening to the soft sounds of Kazuha laughing while he played with your pet and made waffles for breakfast. Even though you were hungry and very awake by now, you just couldn't bring yourself to interrupt such a sweet sound, afterall it wasn't often there were mornings as perfect as this...and you just wanted to enjoy it for as long as it would let you.

Of course it couldn't last forever, before long you heard Kazuhas footsteps walking towards you and you quickly shut your eyes and pretended to be asleep, excitement suddenly coursing through your veins when you felt his weight on the bed. It took everything in you to keep your blush at bay when he placed a sweet kiss on your forehead and cupped your cheek in his hand, "Good morning angel"

𑁍༄Scaramouche:

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

"Give it back you pathetic worm!" Scaramouches blood was boiling, more threats spilling from his lips than you had ever heard,...but you just couldn't stop laughing, your stomach sore from over use and your eyes watering with happy tears. You had used your vision to create cryo birds, who you then instructed to steal his hat and hold it just above his reach, torturing him with his own shortness while you enjoyed the entire show.

"That's it!" He stopped his failing attempts to retrieve his hat and walked over to you, his purple eyes narrowed with rage, but you for some reason weren't scared in the slightest. "Scaramouche calm down-" You tried but he caught you off, pulling you close to him and kissing you so deeply that when he pulled away you were at a loss for words, staring at his smirk...

"Now who looks like a idiot."

ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚Have a nice day*⁠.⁠✧

[extremelyblackandwhite]

Could you maybe possibly do a Bucky X single mum reader? Maybe he doesn't know she's a mum thinks she's ghosting him and then bumps into her and said child or something maybe some angst smut fluff the whole shebang

Bucky was officially done with dating.

He had felt this quite a few times but never had he decided to put an end to dating in the modern day until now. Things had been going great, he didn't even think she would've accepted to go on a date with him yet she did and after that, there wasn't a single moment where he wasn't thinking of her or with her. She was sweet, smart and didn't seem to mind about his past as the Winter Soldier or the metal arm that was blatantly visible to anyone if he took his gloves off. He was finally happy, in a healthy relationship, or at least he thought so.

A week ago things had gone radio silent, there were no texts, he didn't see her at her usual coffee spot and whenever he tried calling, it would go to voice mail time and time again. It had finally hit him that she had just "ghosted" him as Sam called it. Maybe he was right, yet not in the common sense, instead he felt haunted. Haunted by her touch, by her memory and even by the stupid cookies she used to buy. The same stupid cookies he was staring at right now.

      - Can I get these? - a toddler jumped up and down next to him. It was a girl, at least Bucky thought it was a girl based on the high pitched voice. He only looked at the toddler when she pulled on the leg of his trouser, finally forcing him to look at her. - Sir, please can you pass me the cookies?

He shrugged, easily grabbing the box and handing it to the girl who went off running to the legs of a woman, a woman who looked too familiar, a woman who looked almost terrified when she saw Bucky. Honestly, Bucky wasn't even sure who was more terrified if her or him.

      - Bucky. - she said as she walked up to him. - Listen, I ...

      - That's fine. - he interrupted her. - You don't have to say hi to me.

      - No, I just ... I need to explain things.

      - I'd rather avoid the whole "it's not you, it's me" discussion. You know, you could've at least sent me a text instead of ghosting me.

      - Ghosting? No, no, you don't understand. I've been busy and ...

      - For a whole week? Clearly you're not busy enough to be perusing the supermarket.

      - Perusing? I'm just getting groceries, I forgot I couldn't if I didn't text you.

      - Oh so you do know how to text. - Bucky knew he was being mean now but he was hurt. There were may voices in his head which were making him feel like a loser, make him feel like just the Winter Soldier yet he also knew that was no reason to insult her so before he could say something he would regret, he walked away.

Technically, he had now ghosted her as well but she'd done it first so it wasn't as heavy in his mind. At least not as heavy as the idea that the girl he liked so much had suddenly stopped wanting to see him. Many things were going through his mind about what could've caused it, he didn't see another man with her at the store so it potentially wasn't one so his mind was forcing him to face the fact that he was probably the reason. Who would want to date a murderer, the Winter Soldier? No one.

      - Did you bring my milk? - Steve asked as he skimmed through the groceries. - Bucky?

      - I saw Y/N in the shop. - he sat down. - And I was a dick to her. Basically ran off with whatever I had in my cart.

      - Hold on. - Steve said as he sat next to him. - You saw her? What did you say?

      - Stupid shit.

Steve rolled his eyes. Bucky was his best friend, they had known each other since forever and he wasn't against taking his friend's side even if he knew he may be slightly wrong. Yet, in this case, he knew Bucky probably was acting out from hurt and that usually wasn't pretty or nice to hear. It was quite vicious actually, sometimes he forgot how vicious Bucky could be.

      - I don't know what you said but maybe you should apologise.

      - Probably. - he sighed. - Yet again I think she was getting ready to give me a pity speech and I'd rather not listen to it.

      - Do you like this girl? - Bucky stayed silent at this. Of course he liked her, she was all he could think about at night, she was the sun the moon and the stairs for all he cared. But she didn't want him, what else would be the reason for her to suddenly go cold on him. - You've lived for a whole century, Buck. Go talk to her and find out what it is instead of sulking.

(...)

Bucky already regretted this.

As he stood outside her apartment door, he wondered if he was a complete creep. He felt like one, waiting for someone to open the main door so he could get into the building with the sad flowers he'd bought hoping they would convince Y/N not to close the door in his face. Once more, he stared at the golden number on her door before sighing and knocking. He heard quick footsteps before the door knob was slowly twisted and the door opened. The same toddler who he had seen in the market opened the door.

      - Hi! - she said looking at him as if he was her oldest friend.

      - Uh ... Is Y/N here?

      - Meredith, who are you talking you? - he heard Y/N's voice echo through the apartment until she appeared at the door. - Bucky.

      - Hi. - he cleared his throat.

      - Mere, go inside. - Y/N ushered her daughter back inside, closing the door behind her.

Bucky stared at Y/N in both awe and confusion. Who was that toddler? Was it hers? She did look a look like Y/N and he had seen both of them at the supermarket as well. Did Y/N have a kid?

      - She's mine. - Y/N said noticing the doubt on his face. - I had her senior year of college. She's 4.

      - Why ... uh ....

      - She's 4, she doesn't really understand relationships and I don't want to bring anyone into her life that may leave. I also usually struggle to date when I tell guys I have a 4 year old ... I should've told you, I'm sorry.

      - And the ghosting?

      - I wasn't ghosting. - she crossed her arms. - Mere had the chicken pox and I had to stay home with her. I was gonna text you but I thought this ... this would be a better conversation to have in person.

      - Ah ... - he scratched the back of his neck. - I was an asshole at the supermarket, wasn't I?

      - That depends ... are those flowers for me? - she smirked.

      - Yes. - he extended his arm towards her handing her the flowers. Marigolds, her favourite. - They look a bit sad though.

      - They look perfect. - she smiled at him. - Wanna come in?

(...)

Bucky stirred awake in the couch as he heard a soft rustling following by breathing. He peaked his eye open to see Meredith staring at him with wide eyes before she poked his cheek with her finger.

      - Mr. Bucky? Can you make me pancakes?

He could get used to this.

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

Hello big brother Brainrot!! (Can I call you Kuya? It means big brother in Tagalog and I'm Filipino :D) I've been reading your headcanons for a while now and they're so well written! They bring me a lot of comfort and I've had a few good cries as well, and it's all been a big help for getting me through my days.

I've been wondering if you could do headcanons for an MC with Tourette's Syndrome and/or some other tic disorder? How the M6 would react to seeing it the first time, how long it takes them to get used to sudden outbursts or movement from MC, stuff like that.

I have personal experience with this sort of thing, and seeing you write for it would mean a lot to me!! Of course there's no pressure, do what inspires you!! (My DMs are also open if you have any questions/need resources to do research if that's something required)

Much love!!

The Arcana HCs: When MC has Tourette's Syndrome

~ @e1i-neverrests hi friend! I'd be honored if you called me Kuya :D Thank you so much for this prompt, it was so much fun talking about it with you! - brainrot ~

Julian

Do you have any idea what an absolute fountain of potential vocal tics this man is? How many funny little noises or striking ways of saying things he does on a daily basis? He's a library

Everything from his classic "Ohoho" laugh to his scandalized "what's this?!" to the "hmm"s, "haw"s, and "no no no no no"s that he mutters as he pours over his scrawled notes

To hear all of those repeated back to him at random intervals is an adjustment, surely, but not one he finds he minds too much

If you have a tic that involves smacking yourself anywhere, he's very quick to bundle up his coat and put it in harm's way to save you a bruise or two when he sees it making an appearance

Quick to offer to hold your things for you. He likes to do this for his friends and loved ones as it is, your tics are just an extra opening for him to demonstrate his love language and feel extra gallant

Genuinely doesn't mind getting accidentally hit. It's caused him to sputter in surprise once or twice, but otherwise he either doesn't notice or uses it as an excuse to check you over for any hurts

He's your doctor, okay? He loves any opportunity to give you attention, medical included if he can hold your hands to do so

Asra

Genuinely one of the most soothing presences, they've felt like home to you for as long as you can remember and they can bring your stress levels down in just about any situation

He's been giving you his arm to lean on or hand to lead you around for years now. If for some reason you feel the need to mask and a squeezable hand helps, he's all yours. Might gently squeeze back

If for some reason or another things are really acting up in public and you need a breather, they can and will whisk you into a quiet spot where you can have the space you need until it passes

Totally in love with your vocal tics. If it's just the two of you in the shop and he hears you say one that tickles his fancy, he's echoing it back to you in a very silly game of audio catch

Will also finish phrases to turn them into different sentences, each with a funnier meaning until you're both laughing

Always checks in on how you're doing physically if they've noticed frequent motor tics, especially if they might make your muscles sore or make you dizzy or give you bruises

Can massage the soreness out of anything and never gets tired of doing so after a long or stressful day

Nadia

From the moment she's met you, she has never once remarked on your tics without you bringing them up first. She has never let them pose any obstacle to your conversations or connection

And she certainly doesn't tolerate any kind of rudeness. Valerius made the poor choice of making a cutting remark in your direction once and Nadia's comeback brought him close to tears

Nobody else has dared to give you grief in her presence since

One of the times that you brought up your Tourette's with her, she did ask if you had any related sensory preferences when it came to clothing so she could make sure you were dressed comfortably

She also paid attention to your more physical tics and you've noticed that any part of your body prone to getting bumped or thumped as a result has a subtle extra layer of padding on them

Makes sure you have plenty of big pockets to hold things for you when you're not using them actively

Always finds ways to make big events as low stress for you as possible, complete with little alcoves to duck into if you want a break from the crowds here and there

Totally unfazed if she gets accidentally whacked

Muriel

You made him jump so many times the first few days he spent around you. He's not used to sudden - well, anything!

Which isn't to say that he had any particularly negative feelings about your tics. Even if you hadn't had them, he'd have still needed an adjustment period to hearing another voice nearby at night

There was a point later where you talked about it with him, and he compared you to a songbird. The sounds and motions you make are just another strain of the symphony of his forest home

(what he'll never admit to, though you do notice, is that sometimes a vocal tic will get stuck in his head, and then he'll start mumbling or humming it to himself randomly as he goes about his day)

He doesn't talk much as it is, and with how nervous it often makes him to share his thoughts, he did have a short learning curve as far as talking past or over your tics in conversation

Always happy to carry things for you, or give you his hand to squeeze. Genuinely doesn't notice half the times you accidentally whack him while you're holding hands

Regularly puts his hand between you and whatever you're at risk of smacking, without ever thinking or acting like it's a big deal

Portia

She can talk right past your tics to the point that anyone else in the conversation barely notices they're even happening

She didn't tiptoe around your Tourette's either - within a couple hours of knowing you, she bluntly asked about it, and once you explained it to her she nodded in understanding and kept on

Has the kind of reflexes that let her catch just about anything that accidentally starts to fall (or fly) from your hands

Known to echo your vocal tics, just for the sheer joy of it. You could mumble "hello" while you're doing the dishes and she'll cheerfully shout it back from where she's sweeping the floor

Super in tune to how you're feeling in social situations, and can pick up on anyone making you feel uncomfortable before you say anything about it. Ruthless at smacking down rude comments

Also has a knack for finding quiet spots if you start to feel a tic attack coming. She'll smoothly ask the host if they have a guest room to duck into and lead you there without batting an eyelash

Never really sure what to do with motor tics that get destructive, besides inviting you to lie in her lap and take deep breaths and let her put salve on any bruises or sore muscles later

Lucio

It was a rough start, let's be real

Quite simply, he didn't understand why it happened, it was something about you that he'd never seen in anyone else, and it made for prime teasing material when he got annoyed or upset

He quickly snapped out of it and developed more empathy, of course, but it still took a while for him to learn how not to help

Trying to hold you back from motor tics, for example

Eventually he just learned to tune most of it out, to the point that he doesn't notice it's even happening half the time. That's just his partner's built-in soundtrack

The few times mimicking him has been one of your tics, he's been absolutely delighted and puffed out his chest whenever it happened. That's right! He's something worth imitating!!

Tried putting his metal arm in the way of potentially destructive motor tics a couple times, only to find out that hitting the metal often hurt you more than hitting yourself

Once or twice, over the course of his "become a better person" journey, he did adapt one of your vocal tics as a swear (mostly because it was stuck in his head) it was ... quite something

[mae-gi-writes]

everything that i'll never be | kim mingyu . seventeen

You'll never be his first and that bothers you, that she had his heart before you ever did.

genre: angst, relationship problems, insecure! reader. Mentions of self-harm.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

She's so much better than you. In so many ways.

There's no way you can compete. You're not even competition to her. Come on, it's almost as if trying to compare a Ferrari to a stupidly tiny honda that would break down whenever it had to breach the motorway.

This is how envious you are of the girl that once had your boyfriend's heart.

And you hate yourself for it, because every argument that arises is because of that sole reason; you can't stand the thought of her having him first. You can't stand the thought that Mingyu had the opportunity, all his firsts, with a girl that was someone other than you.

Which is why the words suddenly fly out of your mouth one day without warning.

"How was she like? Your ex?"

The words sound raw and painful, even coming from your mouth. You hate it. You hate yourself the most at this particular moment. Even more so when Mingyu stops in mid-action and blinks at you like you've just told him you'd committed a first-degree murder.

It's not that it's surprising. It's just that-- more so -- it's been six years. Six years already, and you still haven't gotten over it. So there is, ultimately, a problem. With you.

Mingyu lowers the knife he's been using to chop the carrots into tiny thin slices. He suggested bringing duck to your annual family dinner this Christmas, which you thought was a good idea, until you realized the amount of preparation that came along with it.

So here you are, on a beautiful 24th December night with the snow falling like soft petals along the sky line, making sure that the duck that you've put into the oven a few minutes ago isn't roasting itself to death.

"Why are you asking now?" is Mingyu's question.

You shrug half-heartedly in an attempt to show him that it isn't that much of a big deal whether he answers your question or not. Though it is, as you keep your eyes trailed on the timer on your phone, "I had a nightmare," you admit.

"About?" his eyebrow raises a fraction, body stilling to await your answer.

You struggle to find something coherent, put together, that doesn't sound so lame once you say it out loud because god forbid it is the most childish thing to think of when it's been six years of your relationship.

And yet, she's still the gap, that empty space, that lingers between the two of you like the unsaid corpse filling the room.

"About you," you pause, "and her."

Mingyu lets out a soft breath, "Y/N, we can't be having this conversation six years down the line. I love you, and I'm with you--"

"I know that." he doesn't have to talk to you like you're a child.

"Then why are you still on about her when clearly you're the one I've chosen to be with for the rest of my life?" the hurt in his voice is real and it makes your heart ache with guilt. You shouldn't have asked him anything in the first place. You know, more than anyone, that Mingyu would steal the moon for you had you asked for it. It's undoubtable, the love that he bears for you, the way his eyes find yours across the room like you're the sun that makes his earth rotate.

He continues now, pent-up frustration laced in his alto. Almost like he's about to cry, "it hurts me too, to hear you talk about her over and over again. It gets tiring after a while, Y/N. I'm tired of it, honestly."

"Alright," tears prick at your eyelids but you refuse to blink, gaze permanently latched onto the oven as you fight against the flood of emotion building in the pit of your stomach, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told you anything, but--"

"it's not doing you any good either. So why do you do this to yourself? What triggered it?" he's on a roll now, not caring what you have scrambled for an answer, the need to hear your reason a priority in comparison to the millions of excuses you have stacked up against your tongue, "because this isn't about just the nightmare, is it? You've mentioned her at least once during these two weeks and I--I'm tired of it, Y/N. I don't want to keep going through that. She's a part of my past and yes, we were in love once. But I don't love her anymore. You're the one I chose to be with," he holds up the peeler and the carrot in evidence, "isn't that exactly what I'm doing right now? Why do you have to ruin this for us?"

"I--" his speech hits you like a truck. You hadn't expected Mingyu to just spit out his feelings without filter or remorse, which makes it even worse as you try to struggle and comprehend what his words mean exactly. The ache in your chest grows. For a moment, you can't breath, the soft pants stinging the back of your throat as it burns with effort of restraining tears.

You swallow thickly, harsh gulps of air that makes you shudder. Finally, you manage to whisper out a soft, "I'm sorry, Mingyu. I shouldn't-- I shouldn't have bought this up. You're right. I'm just--I'm just a walking time bomb and I'm pathetic--" you shake your head, the tears now spilling down your cheeks as you bite down onto your lower lip. You catch sight of Mingyu's stance faltering ever so slightly, but you move back, as if the physical distance might help you keep your broken heart in check, '--I'm really sorry, Mingyu."

You don't wait for him to answer before you're swiveling on your feet and dashing through the open doorway of your bathroom. It's not much, but it's enough physical space for you to lock the door and slide down onto the floor.

You let the sobs take over, your shoulders hunching over your knees as you start crying. Once you do, you can't stop. You can't.

Because the truth is, you're scared.

You're scared that you'll never be enough for Mingyu and that -- whatever happened in the ktichen -- is the exact proof of that. You're not her. She's --gentle and kind and just agrees to everything that Mingyu ays without putting up a fight. And they made a cute couple, and she's prettier. Prettier than you'll ever be and you wonder what Mingyu even saw in you in the first place.

And she's his first. Will always be his first. Something that you'll never be, no matter how hard you try.

You're so focused on feeling your body shatter with tears and pain and guilt from the past that you don't hear Mingyu's voice until he starts knocking against the door.

"Please," he murmurs, "can we just talk?"

"I'm fine," you blubber out, "please just leave me alone. I really don't want to talk about this right now."

"Y/N, I didn't mean to hurt you, what I meant was--"

"I know already, Mingyu. Just stop." you sniffle and wipe your snot with the back of your hand, "I got it. It's me. I'm the problem. I'll always be the problem."

"That's not what I said, don't put words in my mouth--"

"Just leave me alone." And as if that might help, you whisper, "please." So he does. you hear his footsteps retract after a few beats of agonizing silence, and when he does walk away, you slump back into a small puddle of broken pieces of your heart as you try to hold it all together.

But it's not a memory that you can erase with just a few beers or some good sleep. It's a stain that will last forever, and you're not quite sure how you'll deal with that.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

"Hey Y/N?"

Your head rises from the slump of your arms. You're not quite sure how long you've been in the bathroom.

Mingyu knocks. You let out a sigh, but don't say anything. Nothing feels right at the moment, no words can seem to fill the empty, now awkward space between you and Mingyu.

"Y/N, I can leave you alone if you want," he pauses, "but...do you mind if I use the bathroom? I kinda...need to pee."

Fuck. Of course. Just when you're about to lose your mind and go on an existential crisis.

You unlock the bathroom after a beat of silence, not even bothering to look up at his face as you sidestep your boyfriend and make your way to the couch. You plop down onto it, hearing the sound of the door shut close as you find your usual navy blanket. It's warm and comforting, wrapping you up in its warmth as the toilet flushes, Mingyu's coughs reaching the living room area. The scent of roasted duck fills the room and you sniff appreciatively. Despite it all, it seems that the food has survived, a proof that no matter how much humans may suffer, they could still go about and do their things right.

"Y/N."

You jump slightly, turning your head in his direction but allowing your eyes to stray along his shirt. The silence answers in your stead.

"How are you feeling?"

You shrug once more. How are you even supposed to feel?

It's a weird contortion of things that make you want to hurl the living room chair at the tv and one that makes you want to curl up in bed and cry and cry and cry.

The couch dips under Mingyu's weight once he joins you on the couch. Still, you don't look at him, rather deciding that picking on your nails is a better option.

"Y/N," he says once more, before his big hand is reaching for yours and stopping your actions with a gentle grip, "don't do that. You're going to hurt yourself."

"That's the whole point," you mutter to yourself, though it's not quiet enough that he doesn't pick on it.

He squeezes your hand in response, "we talked about this before, didn't we? The nervous hand-picking."

"Can you just--" your voice raises, as if in a holler, only to die mid-way up your throat. You slump against the couch. You're tired and overwhelmed, and it shows.

The silence seems to stretch out before you, with only the slow hum of the fridge keeping you company as you keep on staring at the blank tv screen. How have you come to this? How are you fighting about someone that isn't even in the picture anymore?

Ah yes, because you decided to re-open that door and let yourself wonder, picture, your boyfriend with the likes of her when you know it's only going to induce more pain.

“I’m not going to tell you what to do, or how to feel,” Mingyu starts, his voice shattering the silence like glass. “But just so that you know, every time you talk about this — about her — it hurts me too, because she’s not my present and I’m not in love with her, not anymore. You talking about it makes me uncomfortable,” he peers over at your face, “do you understand that, Y/N?” He says it gently, all his words without bite.

“Then maybe if you had just talked it through with me without avoiding my questions all the time, maybe we wouldn’t be here,” you shoot back, “maybe you like to take the easy way out a little too much.”

“I did give you the chance to talk about it. Remember that night when I told you to ask me anything about her that you wanted to know about?”

Another onset of tears builds at the back of your throat. Why is he doing this to you? What have you ever done to deserve this?

You turn away from him almost instinctively. This time, Mingyu lets you do your thing, not even bothering to try and call your name and honestly, you don’t mind. You need some space to cry it out and be with yourself for a little while.

There’s so much you want to tell him: why did he even break up with her in the first place? Why did he choose you instead? Would things have been different if you hadn’t told him of your feelings?

Would you have been happier right now, if you’d never been together?

ʚ♡ɞ˚

It’s been a few days and you feel like a corpse.

Your life is a walking nightmare, your mind plagued by nothing but the pain of realizing you’re a second option to your boyfriend. You wish that he could walk in your shoes, only to get a glimpse of what’s going on inside your head. In any case, life feels dull and void of colour in contrast to the lights blazing across the streets to celebrate the new year’s coming up.

Mingyu doesn’t offer to talk it through and you take it as his way of telling you he’s not interested in your bullshit. So wrapping yourself up in your thickest blanket, you barely leave the flat on the days to come, if only for groceries. After all, you don’t see the point when your world is crumbling.

It’s on a Wednesday afternoon that Mingyu sends you a text while he’s at work. You receive it in mid-workout, frowning slightly as the message pops up on the screen.

Mingyu: do you have time this afternoon? Can we talk?

You type back your reply with a mere “yes” before resuming your squats with even more conviction. You decide that you have to brace yourself for anything that might happen, considering that you really did fuck up this time.

Will your heart be able to take it if he tells you to break it off?

All thoughts and memories of what would be your wedding, the concepts you’d conjured, the white dress that you’d fantasized over. All those things seem awash with the pain of knowing that maybe this won’t become a reality.

That hurts.

The afternoon crawls by at a snail’s pace and you spend it lumbering back and forth across the hallway as your brain tricks you into concocting all possible scenarios that might unfold; you and Mingyu breaking up is at the forefront of your mind, no matter how much you try to steer yourself away from it.

The door creaks open to signal Mingyu’s arrival. You freeze, fingers finding purchase onto your shirt as you grip its corners, panic suddenly overwhelming your senses.

He’s here, and he hasn’t greeted you yet.

You’re not sure how your heart will take it.

“Y/N?”

The scuff of his boots squeak against the silence of the corridor as he pulls them off. Small a small gesture, which holds so much meaning once you realize you might never hear it again.

You force out a reply, “yes?”

A few moments later, your boyfriend appears looking disheveled and, to your surprise, holding a bouquet of roses.

“Sorry if they’re a bit wimpy,” he says sheepishly while handing the flowers over, and you hope he hasn’t taken note of how your hands are trembling, “I was late to pick them up from the florist’s.”

Tears burned at the corners of your eyes. You looked up at him, eyelashes glimmering as your vision slowly blurred, “why?” You murmured.

“Because,” he shrugs then, a small gentle smile making its way to his face, “I know you’ve been going through a rough patch, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be taken care of.”

You couldn’t help it.

You burst into tears.

And Mingyu holds on to you as you sob and soband keep on sobbing. All the pain, the fear of losing him, the thought of never being enough… all of these mesh into you and cras through your body in waves that rocks your entire ecosystem. Mingyu is there through it all, murmuring soft encouraging words as he rocks you back and forth against his chest.

The crying stops at some point, leaving you numb and tired, a slumped figure that leans against your boyfriend while he’s gently pawing away at the caked tears along your cheeks.

“I’m sorry,” you murmur out, breaths shaking from emotion.

But Mingyu shakes his head, “it’s okay.”

“It’s not—okay, and I shouldn’t have acted this way,” you whisper out, “and I’m sorry if I keep pestering you about her but the truth is, I’m scared I might never be enough for you, Mingyu, because I’m not. You—You deserve everything.”

Mingyu stays silent, still brushing the tears away as you wait for his answer. He finally turns you to him, holds you close in his lap so that there’s no chance of escape even if you wanted to.

In his dark eyes tou see your reflection; a disheveled maniac looking like she’s been haunted for days.

Mingyu probably thinks so too.

“I understand,” he starts off softly, “how hard it is for you to imagine me with other people, it sucks. And it’s not great, especially when you know these people.”

Your chest aches, another pang of hurt ringing through your heart at the mention of her. You suck in a breath, but he continues:

“But I think otherwise. I think she made me realize that maybe, she’s not what I want, nor what I need,” something softens in his eyes then, hands squeezing your waist, “what I need is right here, and nowhere else, Y/N. So you can cry about not being the first, but trust me, I want to make you my last.”

Another sob racks its way up your throat. You blink furiously, hands finding purchase onto your sweater sleeves to bunch it up nervously, “do you—“ you stammer out the words, “do you mean that?”

Mingyu nods, the softest of smiles on his face, as your hands come up to wrap around his neck.

“You’re sure sure?” You peer up at him.

He chuckles, “I’m hundred percent sure.”

And proceeds to kiss your next words away as if to seal the deal, to show you that yes, you are the woman he’s been waiting for, the only one he’ll ever have to wait for.

Maybe that’s just a baby step in your world. You will have more days like this, more days of insecurity and fear and straight up panic. That’s not something that you fix overnight.

But for Mingyu, you’ll try anything to make your happy ending.

[doe-eyed-fool]

Fear Of The Known

Lucifer x Fem!Angel!Reader

|Chapter Seven|

Warning: Drinking, Angst

Y/n and Michael set across from each other in the breakfast nook. She made some tea, in hopes to help relax Michael a bit. He looked so tired, and yet he was so tense. Almost alert.

"Is there something wrong?" Y/n asks carefully. Michael looked up from his tea at her. "I don't know yet." He sighs. Y/n furrows her brows in confusion. "What do you mean?"

Michael leaned back in his seat slightly. "Father called a meeting with me and my brothers, along with his other trusted angels. And telling from recent events it was not a...pleasant meeting. Not at all." Michael says as he brings a hand up to his head.

"I've never seen father so frazzled. With all this talk of, secret exterminations and that hotel ran by Lucifer's daughter. We were there for hours just trying to find a way to settle this mishap, and then we had to discuss what would be done with Sera. Oh and then, of course, the back and forth of what we should do about that hotel situation. I just..." Michael's hand ran down his face as he groaned.

"What did you decide?" Y/n asks. "About?" Michael raises an eyebrow. "Um, the hotel. The idea of redemption, it seems impossible. But then again, every possibility has the chance of becoming true." Said Y/n. "I'd know..."

Michael was silent for a moment. "It's a nice thought. But Hell exists for a reason. A place for all evil to reside. Humans are given the chance to be better, and when they die, divine judgement awaits. Whether or not they make it up here or down there, is up to them. The afterlife given is the afterlife they will live for eternity. There is no changing that."

Y/n looks down at her cup of tea. "I suppose it is a nice thought." She then inhales before standing from the table. "Michael, I think we both need a vacation."

Michael chuckles. "Yeah? You think we'd get more of them, considering this is paradise." Y/n crosses her arms with a smirk. "I also think tea isn't what we need right now." She looks over her shoulder. "Do you drink?"

"Not often. I can't even remember my last one." Said Michael. Y/n walks to the wine cabinet and looks for her best bottle. Y/n wasn't much of a drinker either, only really having one with dinner occasionally. But it was nice to have every now and then.

She picks up a bottle and grabs two glasses and returns to the table. "Has God made any sort of decision yet?" She asks. Michael shook his head. "No, but he's assured us we will have an answer soon."

Y/n pours each of them a glass. "Well until then, let's actually try to relax for once." Michael smiles and takes his glass. "Let's."

The two of them might have a tad too much, and Michael, being the responsible man he was, decided to cut himself and Y/n off. "Alright, this was fun. But." Michael stands from the table. "Bed time."

Y/n, half asleep and slightly tipsy, groaned. "Mhm..." Michael helped her out of the chair, holding her tight so she doesn't stumble. He then picked her up and walked to her bedroom. He walks inside her room and lays her on the bed carefully. Y/n yawned and closed her eyes.

As he was turning to leave, Y/n grabbed onto his sleeve, causing him to stop. He turns to face her. "Do you need something?" He asks quietly. Y/n mumbled something into her pillow, so he leaned down closer to her. "What was that?" Y/n looked up at him with tired eyes, her voice cracked slightly as she spoke.

"Don't go...Please Lucifer...Please stay."

Michael froze. Y/n tugged on his sleeve again. "Please..." Wordlessly, Michael crawled beside her, and tried to ignore the ache in his chest as he held her close to him.

Y/n winces at the morning light brushing at her face. She yawns and sits up in her bed, stretching her arms up above her head. She gets out of bed, and notices she was still wearing the same clothes as yesterday. Her confusion only lasted a brief moment before it hit her.

"Gosh." She sighed. "Poor Michael." She laughs slightly at the thought of him having to get her into bed. Y/n steps into her bathroom to take a shower and freshen up before starting her day.

After getting dressed she made her way to the kitchen, where she saw Michael. He was leaning against the wall, looking out of the window as he sipped on a cup of coffee.

"Michael?" Why was he still here? Michael turned to face her. "Good morning." He greets her. "Did you stay the night?" Y/n asks. Michael chuckles. "Yeah. Don't worry I slept on the couch, well, after you finally let out of your clutches."

Y/n's face heats up slightly. "Oh my goodness, I am so sorry Michael!' Michael shakes his head and walks over to the coffee maker. "Don't worry about it. How's your head?"

"Surprisingly fine. No hangover, thankfully." Y/n joins him. Michael hands her a cup and goes back to drinking his. "That's good."

"Thank you, Michael. Again, I'm sorry you had to deal with me last night. I hope didn't say or do anything else to make myself look like more of a fool." Y/n sighs.

Michael was silent for a moment. "If you did...I'm not telling you." He smirks. "Michael!" Y/n pouts. "What did I do?"

"Nope, I'm not saying." Michael teases. Y/n groans. "You're terrible."

"Aren't I?" Michael chuckles. "Anyway. I should start heading out. I have another dreadful meeting to attend. I suppose today we will finally have our answer."

"If you need to talk after, I'll be here for you." Said Y/n with a smile. Michael smiles as well, but couldn't help but feel that awful ache again. "I know." He heads for the door. "I'll see you later, Y/n."

"Goodbye." Y/n waves. Michael waves before leaving, shutting the door behind him.

Y/n would start her day as usual, run a few errands around the city, and occasionally be stopped by a few civilians who wanted to know what the future held for them. Y/n would never look too far, just enough to satisfy them.

She'd never tell them what would happen when something unfavorable is to occur. Instead, she'd advise them to be cautious of certain things, places, or people. It was best not to scare them, but she would make sure they were aware and careful.

As Y/n was walking, she could see the Seraphim's tower up ahead. Her head was telling to keep walking, but her heart said the opposite. Ever since the exterminations were exposed, Y/n couldn't help but wonder how Emily was doing.

She wasn't herself lately. And now that Sera's fate was on the line, Y/n worried for Emily more. So, Y/n decided right then to pay her a visit. She walked inside and made her way upward. As she walking through the hall, she noticed someone up ahead. They had walked out of Sera's office and were heading in her direction.

The closer Y/n got, she realized just who it was approaching. Joel. Y/n was unsure what to say as they both grew closer. She was never close to Joel, even all those years ago. Y/n opened her mouth to greet him, though she did not get the chance as Joel walked right past her without a word.

Y/n wasn't offended, Joel never was much of a social man. Then suddenly she stopped.

'Wait a minute.' Y/n turned around, watching Joel grow further away. 'What was he doing in Sera's office?' Y/n turned back around. With curiosity getting the better of her, she entered Sera's office, and was shocked by what she saw.

"That's a bit rude, barging in here unannounced like that."

"Sera?" Y/n furrow her brows. "What are you doing here?" Sera, without looking at her, answered. "This is my office." She says bluntly. Sera then gives her a sharp look. "We're you hoping I'd be locked away until I was given my punishment?"

"I was expecting you to be suspended from your duties until God made his decision." Y/n corrects her. "Has he already?"

"No." Sera mutters. "I am here because there is no one to take my place, otherwise I would have been suspended." Y/n glances back at the door for a moment. "And, why was Joel here?"

"Supervising." Sera's face scrunches in annoyance. "I suppose him watching my every move is part of the punishment they have planned for me. Now, why are you here?"

"I wanted to check on Emily." Y/n answers. "Emily is fine." Sera insists. Y/n furrows her brows. "She wasn't before. You kept such a gruesome secret from her for so many years after all."

"Y/n. I have a lot of my mind, and I do not need you to add to it. So if you'll please." Sera gestures to the door. Y/n said nothing more before leaving.

Y/n made her way back down the tower, a bit of power in her steps as frustration swarms in her head. She she was making her way for the exit, Emily walked in. She saw Y/n and smiled slightly. "Hi Y/n."

The frustration fades from Y/n as she smiles. "Hello Emily. How are you today?" She asks. Emily shrugs. "Doing better, I guess. At least those exterminations won't happen anymore. I hope."

"You hope?" Y/n asked. Emily nods. "There hasn't been any sort of answer. So, I don't know..."

Y/n puts a hand on her shoulder. "Trust me, you won't have to worry about those exterminations anymore. I know God wouldn't allow for something so unethical to continue."

"Do you know? Or do you know?" Emily raises an eyebrow. Y/n laughs weakly. "I haven't looked. But you really shouldn't worry. No one in their right mind would let those exterminations go on."

Emily takes Y/n's hands. "Please Y/n, will you tell me? It'd make me feel so much better if I knew it wouldn't. I'm really worried about Charlie and her friends."

Charlie? Was that what the princess liked to be called?

"Alright." Y/n says softly. "If it will make you feel better, I will look." Emily nods, holding her hands tighter. Y/n closes her eyes and waits for the vision to come.

The same red sky came into view, and she saw the very same hotel that Charlie was so passionate about. It all seemed to be fine so far, until the sky was broken by bright heavenly light.

And down came a swarm of angels, weapons in hand. They swooped down and killed any demon in sight. Some fought back against the angels, but the battle was starting to lean towards the angels favor.

And all of a sudden, a giant beam of light cut through the hotel, destroying it completely. The one who caused it's destruction was none other than Adam himself.

And he was about to face a dangerous foe...

Y/n's eyes shot open. Her breath was caught in her throat, and her heartbeat thumbed harshly against her chest. The exterminations would continue after all...

"Y/n?" Emily spoke up. "You're hurting my hands a little." Y/n looked down, she was holding onto Emily's hands tightly. She quickly took them away and apologized.

"What's wrong?" Asked Emily carefully. Y/n swallowed a lump in her throat. "I...I just saw something I didn't expect." Y/n began to walk past Emily. "I'm sorry Emily, I must go now. There's someone I need to speak to right away."

Y/n took off into the sky, unable to hear Emily as she called for her to come back. Y/n felt terrible for lying to her, she knew Emily wasn't stupid. Emily would find out eventually, and it broke Y/n's heart.

She flapped her wings harder, increasing her speed. There was no time to waste, that terrible future was coming soon. She had to do something to stop it before it was too late.

Y/n landed in front of God's palace, she rushed in through the gates and hurried inside. She was half way to God's throne room, she rounded a corner and suddenly bumped into someone. She stumbled back a bit.

"Whoa, what's got you in a rush?"

Y/n looked up and was met with the angel of death himself, Azrael. He looked down at her with a smirk. "You got somewhere you need to be?"

"I need to speak with God immediately!" Y/n pants breathlessly. Azrael hummed and leaned on his staff. "Ah, sorry. God's a bit busy right now. Maybe come back later?"

"But I need to see him now! I saw something terrible in the near future!" Y/n tried to explain. "Again, he's busy." Azrael repeats. "But, I can relay the message to him if you'd like?"

"Azrael, please, this is urgent! I am not leaving until speak with him!" Y/n knew better than to speak this way to him, he was her superior. But right now, she couldn't care less.

"What's going on here?"

Y/n and Azrael turned to see Michael approaching. "Little one here says she needs to speak with God. Says it's real urgent." Said Azrael with a grin. Michael looks to Y/n. "Father is in the middle of an important meeting at the moment. Tell me, what did you see?"

"The exterminations, they're still going to happen!" Y/n tells him, she didn't miss the hesitation from Michael. But she couldn't stop to dwell on it. "Adam is going down to the princess' hotel and..."

"Lucifer and Adam will battle."

Michael and Azrael were taken aback from this. They looked at each other for a moment before Michael spoke again. "Y/n, come with me." Michael walks ahead of her.

"But Michael, God must know about this! Sera is still letting these exterminations happen!"

Michael faces her, a slightly stern look in his eyes. "Y/n." He says sharply. "Please...just come with me." Confused, Y/n hesitantly followed him.

What ever was happening now, Y/n had the most terrible feeling.

Tags-

@bloody-delusion-expert

@simbalioness

@annybah

@alientee

[pandorasprongs]

CHAPTER FOUR | come home to my heart.

'it's nice to have a friend' fic masterlist + playlist | previous chapter

PAIRING: jamie tartt x fem!reader

WORD COUNT: 3.1k

SUMMARY: jamie tries to get reader to forgive him.

WARNINGS: language

A/N: hello! sorry for such a long wait, i've been on vacation. i also haven't been able to proofread huhu but hopefully the interlude prepped ya'll for this moment because a good chunk of this one is from jamie's pov! don't have much to say because i don't want to spoil much hehe but enjoy jamie's comeback!

Losing Jamie for a second time felt the exact same: like absolute shit. Except this time, you were an adult and couldn't sulk in your room all day. So for the next few weeks, — aside from said crying sessions — you've been dragging yourself to all of your lectures and powering through office hours as if nothing happened.

You already told Liv about it the morning after, and after seeing your bloated face and the fact that you had a massive hangover, she decided to withhold her 'I told you so' speech, much to your relief. 

It was unraveling the exact same way as last time and the cherry on top was the fact that Jamie wasn't reaching out in any way, shape, or fucking form. No texts, calls, or anything. 

Every now and then, you'd think about reaching out yourself. It was you who yelled at him that night and told him to leave, but you would shake your head every time. No, if Jamie really wanted to preserve your relationship, he would have to be the one to reach out. You got to say your piece and that's it.

And maybe you were being a little petty, taking down all your photos with him from the shelf and stuffing them in a box with all the tokens from Jamie that you couldn’t bring yourself to throw away, but at least it stopped you from nearly breaking down every time you passed your hallway.

Jamie wasn't taking it so well either, despite what you assumed.

After that night, he had this sinking feeling in him. He knew he fucked up, — ghosting you and treating you like a complete stranger at the pub in front of his teammates, — but it hurt even more hearing you shout and tell him how badly it fucked you up.

To this day, he doesn't know why he did it, really. Maybe it was the fact that he felt guilty for never talking to you after you left. Or maybe you were right; he cared too much about what his teammates thought that he ended up hurting you in the process. But no matter the reason, he ruined one of his most important relationships that night.

So what was he going to do? What he always did. Ignore it. Focus on the season, despite the fact that Richmond has been on a losing streak since the West Ham game. While Jamie might be off his game because of you, he wasn't going to acknowledge that. Just bury it and hope it disappears.

It wasn't until after the fifth match in the losing streak that he got a message from an unknown number he was forced to confront it. 

Hi Jamie. I'm Liv. I'm not sure if (Y/N)'s mentioned me, but I'm one of her friends and I got your number from her phone. I was hoping to talk to you soon when you're free.

So now, he was sitting in a white office like he was waiting for some test results. It didn't help that the person sitting in front of him was in a lab coat, either.

"Sorry, I know it's weird we had to do this in an office." Liv started and Jamie straightened up in the chair. "I thought you'd want somewhere private to talk."

"Right."

"Yeah, so you're probably wondering why I wanted to talk to you. Uhm, (Y/N)'s been a little off recently. She told me about what happened, which I honestly saw from a mile away, but that's not the point." Liv sighs before continuing. "The last time this happened, back in uni, she practically quarantined herself in her room till her parents came and picked her up. She barely ate, and barely talked to anyone. It was terrible. And I can tell that she's on the way to that again."

Jamie's eyes widened, filled with guilt once again, but he said nothing.

Something about his reaction just triggered something in Liv. "Right, so I'm sorry if this sounds rude, but what the fuck are you doing, man?" The footballer moved back in his chair, but Liv wasn't dismayed. "Why haven't you called her? Or even texted or something."

"I," Jamie's completely at a loss for words. "I thought that she didn't want to talk."

"What gave you that idea?"

"She told me to leave that night so harshly, so I thought..." Jamie trails off, realizing how terrible that reasoning is after saying it out loud.

Liv is thinking the exact same thing, causing her to roll her eyes. "Come on, Jamie! You can't actually think she wants nothing to do with you now. She won't ever say it, but do you know how many times I've caught her checking your contact to see if you've sent anything? She misses you and seeing how shit you've been playing these past few matches, I think it's safe to assume that you miss her too."

Despite this woman being a complete stranger to Jamie, he's suddenly compelled to admit, "Just because she misses me doesn't mean that she wants me back in her life. And I don't think I should be, to be honest." She's better off without me. 

Liv's expression finally softens and she looks down at her desk before saying, "She at least deserves an apology."

—

It had been a few days since then, which Jamie had been using to think it over. He knew Liv was right; he needed to apologize. He just didn't know how. And of course, he had to talk to the most emotional man he knew.

"Jamie! What brings you here?" Ted who, despite the team losing yet another game, greeted quite cheerfully. It almost made the football player turn right back around because he wasn't sure if he was in the mood for his coach's relentless optimism.

But he knew there wasn't anyone else he could go to, seeing as you were obviously unavailable, Keeley was way swamped with her new company, and telling his mum would be indirectly telling your parents too. He shuts the door behind him and moves to Ted's side of the office. "Right, um, I was hoping to talk to you about something."

His coach seems to pick up on Jamie's uneasy demeanor and leans forward with a sympathetic look on his face. "What's up, buttercup? Should I gather the diamond dogs for this?"

Jamie, recalling the name that the coaches and Higgins called themselves, was quick to reject the idea. "No, no, I'd rather not have them find out about this. Uhm, look, I know I haven't been doing my best recently,—"

"Oh, we'll get a win soon bud, don't worry." Ted is quick to reassure the player and while Jamie appreciates it, he shakes his head.

"No, I know, but that's not it." Jamie takes a deep breath before continuing. "It's just, I've been a bit distracted recently."

"Is this about a girl perhaps?"

"No," though Jamie thinks about it for a second. “Yes, but no?" Seeing the slight look of confusion on his coach's face, he explains, "A while back, I reconnected with an old friend. She was my best friend actually, back in Manchester. We didn't exactly end on the best of terms and it was my fault. But when we met again, she told me that I didn't need to apologize."

Jamie continued to recount the past few months to his coach, from his blind date to the Bones & Honey incident, along with what he did to you in the pub all those years ago. 

"So now, I don't know what to do. Her best friend said I should apologize, but I don't really know how. I'm not really the best with these types of things." Both of them still remembered how long it took for Jamie to get the team to forgive him when he first came back.

Ted takes a second before responding, trying to figure out the best thing to say in this situation. "You know Jamie, I've always thought the simplest ways are sometimes the best ones. Overthinking things tends to complicate them more. You want to apologize right? How'd you used to do it when you were kids and you threw your little tantrums at each other?"

"Coach, I don't think bringing her chocolate is gonna work this time around." Jamie gets flashbacks to your first-ever argument as kids. Jamie accidentally ate the last slice of chocolate cake that you had unofficially saved and you stormed out and locked yourself in your room for an hour. 

All it took was Jamie sliding a bar of chocolate through the bottom of the door, explaining that he got hungry, and promising to save her a slice of cake the next time they had a party. You ended up sharing the bar with Jamie.

"Probably not. But in all the times you fought, what were the things that got her to forgive you? What did you say that made her understand your side and know that you actually were sorry for what you did? And how did you prove to her that you weren't going to do that to her again?" Maybe if Jamie thought about this advice later tonight, it'll make more sense, but right now, only one question was occupying his mind.

"D'you think she'll forgive me?" He thinks out loud.

"I honestly don't know Jamie, I don't even know who she is. But if you show her how much you care like how you're showing me right now, I'm sure things will be fine." Ted, now standing, offers a comforting pat on the back.

Without looking up, Jamie whispers, "I never meant to do this to her. To hurt her like that."

"We rarely ever mean to hurt the people we love." Ted offers.

Love. Yeah, Jamie thought, he did love you, even after all these years. Especially after all these years. What, with all the 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' bullshit.

"All we can do after is try to atone for our mistakes and hope they forgive us. And even if they don't, at least you leave knowing you tried." Jamie nods his head and thanks his coach for the advice.

As he got into his car to leave the clubhouse, he pulled out his phone. Hi, are you free tonight? I was hoping we could talk. 

He anxiously waited for your reply and started listing all the places he had to pass by before heading to your place if you even answered. But before Jamie even left the car park, you already replied, Sure.

—

Maybe you had been hoping for Jamie's message more than you thought. You were in the middle of the lecture when you got his message, so while your class passed the handouts around, you took the chance to grab your phone and reply.

So now, you were anxiously waiting in your flat, still unsure of how you were meant to feel about all this. You knew there was still anger there, but you weren't sure if exploding on him relieved that feeling or made it worse. A part of you also felt guilty for it too, for not even giving him a chance to apologize in the first place. Maybe instead of awkwardly letting him inside later, you would've been having yet another movie night together.

That's what he was going to do now right? Apologize? You didn't really press on for my details when he messaged you earlier. You just hoped that seeing him again will trigger the right response to whatever he had planned.

You heard the doorbell ring and suddenly, it felt like your heartbeat quickened. You take careful steps towards the door and after mentally preparing yourself for whatever this was going to be, turn the doorknob.

"Hi," Jamie greeted, in the most awkward way possible for a guy as confident as he could. You notice him holding a box of LEGO flowers under his left arm and a pack of chocolate nuggets in his right hand.

In an attempt to lighten the mood, you jokingly ask, "Is your apology just going to be flowers and chocolate?" though it may have come across as harsher than you intended.

"No, but uh, in case you changed your mind about talking to me when you saw me, I thought this would at least get me through the door," Jamie explained and you slowly nodded your head.

"Well, you were right." You take the things from his hand and let him inside. 

You had already cleaned up the place before he came over and hidden all the messy catalogs and test papers in your room for the time being. Its current condition could honestly pass as one of those display sets in department stores.

You placed the items on your dining table before turning back to Jamie who was awkwardly standing in the middle of the living room.

You didn't want to delay this any further. "So, why'd you want to talk?"

"Right," Jamie started, still unable to look you in the eye. "I wanted to say sorry for not messaging you these past few weeks. I've just been busy and Richmond's been on a losing streak too,—"

"Is that really all you wanted to say?" Your tone was soft, but even you knew you were being blunt. You just couldn't handle the sinking feeling of anxiety in your chest anymore and while you might be rushing him, you just wanted to get this over with.

"No, it's not." Jamie closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He moves towards you and starts looking at you intently. "I'm sorry. For everything. You deserved an apology and an explanation a long time ago and I can't go back in time, so I want to do it now."

He pauses for a moment, and when you realize he's waiting for you to say something, you respond, "Go ahead, Jamie."

He nods his head and almost looks like he's psyching himself up before a match. He takes another deep breath before continuing.

"I wanted to start from when I started to get distant. I never told you, but after I started at Man City, dad came back into the picture."

"He did?" Your voice was barely a whisper, and you're unsure if he even heard it because he keeps talking.

"You know how he is, right?" Of course, you did. 

Growing up, you knew the exact times his dad would be coming over. There’d be some beat up car in their driveway and if you looked out your window, Jamie’s window blinds would be down. During the early years, you’d ask your mom to call their house, but after the first time and about a ten-minute call with Georgie, she started telling you they were busy. It was only after that outlying car in their driveway disappeared that Jamie would come knocking at your door, asking to play. He'd have this air of discomfort the first few days, but you were so happy being able to see him again that you’d end up ignoring it.

"Anyway, he was on my arse that whole time. He always had something to say after every match about how I fucked up or, how shit I'd been. Even if I was just sitting on the bench, he still had something to say. It was exhausting," You could tell that Jamie was starting to get angry at the reminder of his father, and without thinking, you reach out to hold his hand. Jamie seems to relax at your touch and when he seems to have composed himself, you let go.

"He would go on about the same things. Don't be soft, it's the fucking Premier League and shit like that. I just, I wanted it to stop. And I thought that toughening up would stop him from him getting under my skin. That meant removing everything that did make me soft, vulnerable. One of those things was you, but I realized now that it was in a good way. As in, I only ever felt comfortable and safe when I was with you." Your eyes widened at his confession and you felt tears threatening to fall.

"But fuck, Dad was really in my head back then. I thought that you were making me weak. And I hated the thought of him calling me that. So I stopped picking up your calls and messages. I just blocked you out.

"But when I started to realize I was becoming a prick, I thought you'd never want to talk to me again. That you'd hate me and it wasn't worth trying to get you to forgive me. Plus, Mum always had great stories about you, so I thought you were better off without me. I guess that's why I was such a prick back in the pub, pretending I didn’t know you. Might as well lean into it if I already lost you." At this point, you were resisting the urge to envelop Jamie in a hug and never let go, but you knew he wanted to finish his piece.

"And I know that it doesn't change the fact that it was a shitty way to treat someone I loved, but it's the best explanation I can give you. I really am sorry." Jamie held your eyes, emphasizing how genuine he was being. Someone I loved, did he really just say that? But he starts again before you can even consider what that meant.

"And, I really am trying to be better. I want to be worthy of staying in your life, if you'll let me. This time, I promise I'll never leave you like that ever again."

You were processing his words and couldn't answer immediately, so Jamie added, "And if you decide that you don't want anything to do with me, then you'll never have to see me again. But I promise to keep trying to be better even then."

You continued to stay silent and Jamie took that as your answer. "Right, so that's all I had to say, so I'll be out of—"

You wrap your arms around him, stopping him mid-sentence. The footballer is slow to reciprocate it, but when he does, you're transported back in time. It feels like you're eight again, and Jamie's football team just won the finals. It feels like you're fifteen again, and you've made up during a midnight run to the grocery after a stupid argument. It feels like you're seventeen again, saying goodbye to the only boy you've ever loved.

"I don't know if I'm ready to forgive you yet, Jamie. To go back to how it was before." You finally answer, and if you're being honest, you don't think you ever could go back. "But I want to be able to," you whisper and you feel him relax even more in your arms. "Just, don't fuck it up and leave again. Because I'd really love to have you in my life again."

"I promise I won't." And this time, you believe him.

A/N: and there you go! the angst is over! (or is it? muahaha) some cameos from liv and ted to help snap jamie out of it :) i had written jamie's apology monologue the same time i wrote reader's angry monologue from chapter three with some slight revisions when i put them in their respective chapters, so hopefully it matches up well stay tuned for the next chapter!!

TAGLIST: @moonflowersandsparkles @faith-alons26 @rexorangecouny @aiyaiy @thegirlthatwantedtowrite @giggling-sewer-ginger @katdahlali @higherthanheroes @guccilongboard @alipap3 @rockchickrebel @ellietartt @shineforever19 @skewedcherries @jamietarttdodo @meg-ro @deepdarkvelvet @taytaylala12 @scaramou @rae4725 @oxxolovemelikeyoudooxxo (couldn't tag you for some reason?)

[d4rkpluto]

i've returned to post about a particular subject i've been fighting to or not to post, because i used to consider this person the closest person in my life and i even considered her as a best friend and a sister.

and we have fallen out and apologised to each other many times, but perhaps whenever we argued it was life telling me that she is not supposed to be in my circle. and you could be wondering why am i bringing this up and telling tumblr this but im telling tumblr this to be aware of @couerardent and her scamming behaviour.

couerardent also known as MYSTIICWINTER OR MYSTICWIINTER.

talk about WORSE SERVICE I HAVE EVER GOTTEN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

[other people have come to me and spoke about how bad her services were, but i tried to overlook it because i really cared for her, lessoned learn]

i have always been empathetic towards ardent and her money situation, but there are moments when excuses turn into reasons to not do something. on august, i sent alex money because she needed it, but she also said in return she will give me 4 packs she usually gives her clients and she told me she would give me my money back.

first pack is "tell me your story."

second and other packs she hadnt told me what they were but she informed me that i'll be receiving them weekly since august, and now its november.

at first i was empathetic, since i used to be close to ardent, i knew she went through a lot of stuff at home, so i was patient. until august turned into september, and september turned into october and then october turned into novemeber.

and slowly i became annoyed, [as i should] because her services arent even long or good, as someone who gives chart readings to other people that consists more than fourteen pages, the effort to write that would take long, but ardent doesnt even give five pages for her services, three at most, so why is it taking her so long?

previously, she has joked to me about scamming other people, but would put the blame on them and not want to take accountability until they start using threats to expose her, i think she deleted the making fun of scamming them but here is some of it:

and when i would message her for updates about my reading because it'll take months, she would ignore me and even change her pfp on tumblr or discord, until i reach out to her on more platforms to get her attention.

and what would annoy me even more is that she would talk about how she never has something to do or would focus on other stuff knowing she needs to get my reading done lmao and this would be like 1-2 months after i was supposed to receive any of it lol.

worrying about the layout for almost 3 months PLEASE.

i have received 1/4 readings, and that was now almost 2-3 weeks ago, we should've been on my 2nd or 3rd reading by now, the only reason i have received 1 reading is because i did threaten to expose her if she didnt send the money or reading my way, because even i had some issues because living in london has gotten really difficult and i have been trying to support my family as much as i can, but im doing better right now.

its all about the principle. and she has none of that. and even attempted to victimise herself and behave like she was in distress whenever she got called out about her behaviour.

she lost track of time, the time being 3-4 months lol.

and when i was speaking to her she ignored me for a bit again ha, it was almost comedic. for almost two weeks she didnt try and check what i was speaking about.

she has gotten ill, but this was still months after.

and i have remembered, she has used much of her earned money to fund for her nose job but also uni, but during the moments it was best to pay me back was at the job she said paid her well, she informed me that when she gets paid by her job she'll pay me back, and she never did and ended up quitting the job.

[the unfairness i was speaking about is how uni her country dont do student finances, she's from romania, because they do in the uk it was just a surprise].

i asked her recently on how i was supposed to receive a reading but she didnt reply but change her pfp on whatsapp and discord, again.

if there is any confused people comment please because i did this half asleep lmao

[mxrvelouss]

The Scene at the Mall (pt 2) | Mike Schmidt x Reader

warning: brief mentions of a toxic relationship and harrassment, fluff

note: be sure to read pt 1 if you haven't already! :)

also! there is a hunger games reference, see if you can spot it! ;)

--------------

Your gentle laugh rings through Mike's ears, causing him to look at you with a wide smile. The two of you walk through the mall, hands intertwined, staring into each others' adoring eyes.

"I love my necklace," you say, softly touching the shiny piece of jewelry that sat on your chest.

"You picked it out," Mike laughs.

"Yeah, but you paid," you retort, giggling. The two of you continued to smile at each other. Oh, how you wished you could stay in this moment forever.

******

Ever since he potentially saved your life at the very same mall about a year ago, you made it a point to go there every time after work, since it was just right down the street from the restauraunt you waitressed at. And every single time, there he was, patrolling the place as a security guard.

He sure works a lot, you remember thinking to yourself. It wasn't until a few months after you met that you found out the reason for that was so he could take care of his little sister, Abby. "I'd do anything for her," he told you one night as he walked you out to your car after his shift was over. "Even if it means working a thousand hours a week- as long as it means a better life for her, I would do absolutely anything."

And now here you were, holding hands with this perfect guy. You two had offically been a couple for two and a half months now; and you had never been happier. Abby loved you, and you would help her and Mike at every possible chance. For once, the both of you were off work today, and Abby was at school- so the two of you decided to go to the mall after having breakfast at his house.

"Aren't you sick of that place?" you teased as you got into the passenger seat of his car.

"Yeah, but I want to buy you a necklace," he said, blushing. "I've been saving up."

"Mike!" you exclaim. "No. You know you don't have to get me-"

He reached over and softly put his index finger on your lip, cutting you off. "Shhh. I've made up my mind."

You sit back, sighing in mock defeat. "Alright, you win," you giggle.

Once the two of you got to the mall and went to the jewelry store, a beautiful, silver necklace with a heart at the end caught your eye. When you saw the price, however, you didn't want to ask- but it was too late. Mike already saw the way your eyes lit up, and he got a worker to get it out of the glass case before you could even react.

Mike looked over at you as the worker handed him the jewelry. "Don't feel bad. I promise this is what I want for you. Okay?"

You nodded, and he started to bring the necklace up to your neck. "May I?"

He went behind you, gently bringing the necklace over your shoulders and clasping it around your neck. The feel of his fingers against your skin made you shiver.

"There," he said, turning you around to look at the necklace.

"Mike Schmidt, you're better at putting on necklaces than me!" you laughedd.

"Well," he grinned. "I've had some practice with Abby. My mom has a few necklaces that she likes to wear sometimes." He looked down and started to shuffle his feet.

You put a hand on his shoulder. "Thank you," you said softly. You take his hands, lean in, and give him a soft kiss on the cheek.

Once Mike paid, the two of you walked out, hand in hand, and started to stroll down the area.

"It's definitely a lot easier to enjoy the mall when you don't have to work," Mike says.

Your gentle laugh rings through Mike's ears, causing him to look at you with a wide smile. The two of you walk through the mall, hands intertwined, staring into each others' adoring eyes.

"I love my necklace," you say, softly touching the shiny piece of jewelry that sat on your chest.

"But you picked it out," Mike laughs.

"Yeah, but you paid," you retort, giggling. The two of you continued to smile at each other. Oh, how you wished you could stay in this moment forever.

But all good things must come to an end, because at that moment, a voice from behind catches your attention, immediately sending chills down your spine.

"Well, well, y/n. Nice to see that you moved on."

You whip around, letting go of Mike's hand. The man (now in front of you) continues.

"It's been, what, two years since the breakup?" he sneers. "You won't be able to forget me, no matter how hard you try, y/n." Everything in you just wanted to run as far away from him as possible. This was Danny, your ex-boyfriend from high school. What started as a typical high school romance turned into a controlling, toxic relationship. You felt your cheeks turn red as Mike protectively inched closer to you. You could feel his body starting to tense up.

"Do you know him?" he asks, his voice low.

"'Course she does," Danny says. "We have a lot of...history. Don't we, y/n?" He looks down at you, a twisted smile spreading across his face.

"Why are you acting like such a creep?!" you burst out. "Leave us alone." You couldn't deal with this, not now, not ever. Things were so perfect with Mike, and now you were scared that, somehow, in some way, Danny would convince Mike that you weren't good enough for him.

Just like he convinced you you'd never fall in love again.

Suddenly Danny's eyes start to travel down your face, your neck, and then lands on your chest, where the necklace lays. You feel sick.

"Ah, so did Lover Boy over here buy you this?" Danny suddenly stretches out his arm and grabs hold of your necklace.

"What the-?!" Mike screams, shoving Danny away and grabbing hold of your hand. He places himself in front of you and Danny, who is smiling, as if he's amused by the whole situation.

"Don't you ever touch me again," you say, your voice trembling. Mike looks at you, concerned, and gives your hand a reassuring squeeze before he lets go. He walks toward Danny, inches away from his face.

"Get out of here," Mike says, his voice dangerously low. "And don't ever come near y/n again."

"Or what, Lover Boy?" Danny sneers again.

"Or I'll call the authorities and have you arrested for assault." Mike reaches into his pocket and pulls out an ID which says he's a mall security guard. "Unless you want me to do so right now? I do happen to know the head of security here..."

You smile. Go, Mike! you cheer in your head.

Danny's arrogant smile fades. He looks at you one more time. "It won't last," he says. "Soon you'll be running back to me."

"Get. Out." Mike growls. And finally, Danny turns and walks away.

Mike turns to you, grabbing hold of your hands. You start to talk. "I'm so, so sorry-"

"Hey, hey, hey, you don't have to apologize for anything," Mike says, gently placing his palm on your cheek and brushing a strand of hair out of your face. He pulls you into a hug, and you happily accept it, letting the warmth of his strong body spread over you.

"I guess you can see why that relationship didn't work out," you say into his shoulder with a weak laugh.

"Maybe you should stop going to malls," Mike jokes back as he pulls away from the embrace and looks at you with loving eyes. You chuckle, looking back into them.

"This will last," he says confidently, his hands on your shoulders.

"I know," you say with a soft smile. "And this will prove it."

You wrap your hands around his waist, pulling him forward, and softly press your lips against his. He kisses back with such love and gentleness that you just want to explode with emotion. He brings his hands through your hair and then pulls back, his hands now cupping your face.

"I love you," he whispers.

"I love you too, Mike."

[amuseoffyre]

In The Soup

From my first watch, I couldn't help notice the number of reference to soup and broth all the way through the first three episodes and I've been - to be thematic about it - simmering said thoughts overnight and now have put them in order.

'Susan's' soup kiosk

"this broth…may be the best thing I've ever had"

noodle soup on arrival on the ship

the underworld boil-up

"we could make soup"

There is something very significant about the fact that Zheng's chosen cover in the Republic of Pirates is as the owner of a modest little soup kiosk. Jackie even refers to her as the "soup bitch".

It's a sign of how good Zheng is as hiding in plain sight because soup is a universal staple in almost every country in the world. No one questions the presence of a soup stand, because who wouldn't want a nice bowl of soup?

There's something about soup that is seen as a universal basic and comforting dish. There are dozens of proverbs about soup being like home or something to bring someone when they're ill. It's a quiet symbol of safety and comfort and home and Zheng absolutely uses this.

And she doesn't just keep it for the land ruse. More warm and delicious soup is served up on the ship: Stede and his lot get it as a meal and then when they bring the remains of Ed's crew over from the Revenge, they're wrapped in blankets and plied with soup too.

The thing is that we've seen how Zheng operates when she subdues Bartholemew. She doesn't even need to use threats against him. Champers and a tasty meal and a sympathetic ear and she gets what she wants. Even Stede falls for it, right up until the moment she points out that the other alternative was "or death". This is the blade they are all now living under.

Do not trust the comfort of the soup. The soup is a trap and an illusion.

This is even more significant in Ed's scenes with Hornighost. The soup he's making there is reminiscent of Māori boil-up and given that he's a manifestation of Ed's own brain, this once again gives the illusion of comfort and home as well the adage as soup being best for a recuperating invalid.

Only coming from Hornigold, that comfort and warmth becomes a horror. "It's poisoned!" Ed says as soon as he realises who's holding the spoon. He sees something deadly and a trap. He knows this isn't what it seems.

Being fed by a man who has past history of killing people with the things he fed them and who threatened to feed Ed his own skin makes that soup a very real and tangible threat.

Their next conversation on the beach is very telling. "You've got to move on or you blow your brains out… or we could make some soup." And Ed chooses soup. He chooses a warm and good food. He chooses something that is two of his reasons to keep living: warmth and good food. The fact he gives voice to good food and warmth being two of the things he values most, the repetitive appearance of soup and mention of gravy in this purgatory is Ed's subconscious grasping for what he really wants and needs, but never quite getting it.

Only once again, the soup is a subterfuge, because what's happening can't be ignored. No matter how safe or homey or domestic it looks, Hornighost keeps on slipping in the knives and all of Ed's worst thoughts and impulses keep coming to the surface. He wants the warmth and the comfort that soup symbolises, but the soup is a lie. He can't get that. Not here. Not now.

And last of all, the classic old idiom, when things have gone wrong and you find yourself in trouble: you're in the soup. They have double-crossed one of the most powerful pirates they have ever encountered, broken her ship, stolen her crush and are on the run from the English. They are most definitely in the soup.

[xmorguekittyx]

Ever Locked

Part 4: Good Night, Bunny

Part 3: With Your Ghost

pairing: Older!Leon Kennedy × Ex!Coroner's Assistant Reader

warnings: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, talks of enjoying inflicting emotional and physical pain on another, just Leon’s pov on things right now.

Fucking rain. Every single day, nothing like the thick air, the feeling of Raccoon City before its inevitable bombing. Boots clap against the rain puddles, slick as the show slides on the step, nearly knocking me off balance and into the small bushes by the hotel door way. "Shit-", the word spat as my hand clutches at the automatic door, stilling it. "Fucking rain, can't wait to get back to my place.", all the more reason to get into her mind, to open Pandora's Box into the mind of the woman of the hour.

   My phone dings as I adjust the whiskey bottles in the bag, shifting from my right to left hand, reaching for the Motorola Razr, the fucking brick costing much more than i wanted to pay. Chris Redfield sent a message. A grumble left my lips as i entered the doors, heading to the shiny elevator. Tapping his stupid little contact photo opened the message; "so, when were you gonna tell everyone you were over 3000 miles away? You know we listed you as MIA and had a chopper checking around your house, right? Never understood why you needed to live in the middle of butt fuck nowhere, had us worried you went off the deep end or something." I could nearly hear Rebecca hitting him in the shoulder for the last part.

  My choices in house placement was quite simple; remote enough to not have any issues with neighbors- like a certain old hag who should've minded her own business- then, were close enough to a small town with a grocery store and a post office. It's perfect. Small, far away from everyone else and it can be a small safe space for the family i'm going to build. I have lived my life giving and giving and giving, giving up my life to the government, letting all my wants go to work on missions, letting vacations slip past me just so i can work my ass off one more time and get denied the next vacation. I never have a moment to myself until i'm MIA.

  I'll be selfish, this time around, i'll be selfish. I want one thing to myself, my home to myself. I want her, bunny, to myself. The future is so uncertain, but in certainty, i know i will have her and she will be away from everything and everyone. She'll be something just for me, for my pleasure. It's selfish, god, it's wrong to be so self centered to throw off someone's life so horribly, but i can't find it in myself to regret the choice i've made to come and find her.

  The elevator dings, bringing my attention to the wobbly reflection. My hair is dark with grease, my skin dry and flakey in parts, my hand comes up just as the doors open. Fingers rubbing at the rough scruff that coats my jaw. I looked like shit, honestly, i would've cried had i seen myself too. As the door threaten to close once more, i step out. The hallway is lit with a warm lamp, it was short and the rain taps against the windows with a rhythmic patter. I wonder what she's doing, is she worrying? Is she scared that i'm back, or is that perfect new boyfriend currently too busy keeping her wrapped around him? The latter causes my brows to drop.

  The keycard taps the lock, hearing a beep and a green light before my, still wobby, legs threaten to let me fall. The handle is clicked quickly, falling under the weight of my hand. The room is... clean, at the most, plain. Very minimalistic. The bed is neat, the coffee cups wrapped, definitely won't be touching those, unless they have the creamer i like. Coffee left a bad taste, trying to down that god awful black coffee to impress the older officers still made me want to throw up. The bitterness, i wasn't someone into the bitter things, despite how bland my life had become. Time didn't stop for me to indulge in anything sweet or extra. That's why i won't answer that message, once i acknowledge it all, then come questions, why's, when's, where's. I don't have the time, I needed to set my plan in place. I needed to know that things were gonna work out this time, this opportunity.

  The desk is clear of anything, which is good, my bags lay underneath from my earlier visit before the White Wolf. Duffel bags of clothes, files and photos. It was time... but a drink first wouldn't hurt. A soft sigh leaves my lips as i lay the whiskey bottles down, hearing them clink together. Jack Daniel's, wasn't the top shelf shit- but it was cheap and whiskey tastes like whiskey once you've downed enough- they all taste the same.

  The bag rustles as i fish out the first bottle, nearly half empty from the gas station down the road. My boots slide off with ease as i step towards the coffee maker, pulling one of the little paper cups from the stack. "As good as any.", my shoulders weigh with a shrug before the cap is off and the cup is half full of warm whiskey. The amber liquor burns, the flavor vanilla-ish. Something i should've looked at before throwing the cash on the counter. Alcohol is alcohol, at the end of the day.

   My back hits the bedding, cup laid aside on the side table. The thoughts of the past few years flooding my mind, the latest tragedy being my team being ratted out and only myself coming out as a survivor. It never seems to fail, anyone close to me... their life is cut short by some tragedy or they're in danger at my hands. It was a cycle, one i wouldn't let touch the innocence of my bunny. The pillow engulfs my cheek as i lay my head upon it, the inside rough but manageable as i reach out for the cup, my fingers pushing it further away before catching the rim and pulling it closer.

  My head aches with the next round of thunder, the lightening cracking over the dim room. Engulfing everything in a light for a few seconds, the painting across from the bed getting my attention. It looked... angry, and yet it was just swipes of black and red paint over a white background. What? You gonna say it's some internal struggle i'm having or something. is it like those tests the therapist hands you to get a read on you? The liquid in the cup splashes as i swirl it, my mind bouncing from left to right. It feels surreal, im sure it does for her, too. The moment i've been anticipating since i saw the name under a few address, the moment she's been dreading since that faithful day. It's crazy how much fate can dictate.

  The Chinese have a legend, about a red string of fate tied between two lovers. It's a beautiful story-pictures of fingers intertwined with the others, red string wrapped delicately around pinkies and swirling around the hands that finally met their match. It's beautiful until the string is tied around your throat by the one tethered to the other side, that string of fate is telling. What was meant to show you endless care and tenderness now tightly stealing away the very air that kept you alive, that tore at the delicate flesh, its motives unknown and terrifying.

  Another rumble of thunder and that thought too is ripped from my consciousness. I see the fault in my plans, don't get me wrong. I'm not insane. I simply don't care, i want this and for once in my miserable life, im going to get something i want. She's just the poor soul who has to be the one i set my sights on. She loved me once too, you know? She said it- herself- she loved me. She let me see her vulnerable and bare. I want to see it again, that bitch at the bar declined giving me Bunny's new number. What a stuck up bitch. A laugh ripped past my lips, the liquor splashing out of the cup lip and landing on my cheek as i wipe it away quickly. Hand once more in my scruffy, growing in beard. I wonder if i should keep it, at least while i'm here? Nah. I never could grow a nice full beard, mine always patchy and uneven. It is what it is, but i'm not shaving it right now. My eyes are stinging, head falling back on the pillow as the cup slides back onto the night stand.

  The clothes call to me from their bag, begging for me to change into the soft grey sweatpants that have been my favorite for years now. I feel a twitch in my leg, a pushing force that is quickly pushed away. That can wait for tomorrow, as can planning. The bed is too magnetic to my body. The sheets already bunched under my weight, fingers digging around to grip the sheet and pull it up, promptly causing my muscles to ache, realizing i have, indeed, made no progress, my legs stand for a millisecond, before i'm back into the bed, quicker than the bag can see. Nothing outweighed the amount of exhaustion that built up in my brain.

  The aircon kicks on, the room settling at a nice sixteen nine degrees. Cold and enough the blanket keeps me warm. The buzz of the alcohol and the warm and cool feeling just about as perfect as it can get. Something feels as if it's missing, like there's something that should be here and isn't, but i think i know what it is. I think it's always been missing and the sleepless nights had me begging any god that i'd have that back. Sleep doesn't come easily for me anymore, but knowing her presence isn't as far as i anticipated, has me feeling slightly more relaxed. Maybe enough to settle into bed all night, or enough to keep staying asleep the entirety. Either way, as long as i sleep. I can't keep pushing missions with no rest, last mission i was nearly left back there. Sleep is a necessity that hasn't been fulfilled since her disappearance. I know it wasn't her choice or fault either too.

  That's why I'd wanted to speak with her at her work, to see if all these years anything had changed. I know it probably has, but does she still bring that peace and calmness to me, can she still cause me to snap instantly with her little smart ass behavior? I have to know. Either way, she's mine. She's always been mine.

  The sheets cocoon me, cradling my body as I slept in my daily clothes. It didn't matter, i'd slept in abandoned ships, cots that were as hard as a plank of wood, in 3 day old clothes, bed for other men who hadn't showered in weeks. This bed, felt amazing, compared. The curtains letting the lightening crack over my face but the stinging stalled as the darkness encroached my eyes. The fluttering causing a tear slipped pasty cheek. warm as i nearly got to that state of peace. Work can be done tomorrow, plans, actions and strong up my temporary home, it'll all work out. Good night, Bunny...