#i've probably finished it a two-digit number of times at this point but it's been a while

[knightofleo]

[nimblermortal]

Nimblermortal's Covid Survival Tips 2023

because what's the point of having this if I can't make it easier for the next person?

First symptom for me was a mild sore throat. This started around noon; the next morning I woke up with no symptoms but feeling terrible, which I interpret as the medical "sense of impending doom" that is a real symptom.

Charmin toilet paper. This stuff is softer than Kleenex. Get you a whole roll and a shopping bag. Don't have a runny nose for a symptom? Don't care, it'll come.

Blankets you can kick on and off. I spent two days "cycling" - chills, fever, then lucidity. You need to be able to both vent and huddle.

If you are scientifically inclined: Keep a thermometer nearby. I regret not taking my temperature during the cycles, I'm really curious about whether I was running hotter or colder during the hot stages. That said, you will definitely not have enough energy to take your temperature during these stages.

Some sort of infinite podcast. It doesn't matter what it is. Honestly I recommend Critical Role even if you don't like D&D live plays. You do not care what is going on here, the point is white noise that you don't have to change. Make sure the device is plugged in. I could only nap while there was white noise happening - and when I say 'nap' I mean 'I don't know if I slept or not, just that I was face-down and some time passed'.

Advil. This will lower the fever. If you can, wait until the second day - the fever helps burn out the disease, but this only applies to the first 24 hours. But don't let the fever get too high. I ran a steady 101 F/38.3 C for two days, which is fine. You can take one every 4 hours up to 6 times a day. For me the best effects only lasted 2 hours and I was ready by the fourth (but also a stubborn pig who tried to hold out; there's no advantage to this after the first 24 hours).

Small dishes. People kept trying to feed me and I couldn't finish anything. Small dishes, plain foods, let yourself have the ability to win at meals. (Note: this may not apply to you, but I'm the sort of person who used to be sent to elementary school with a single small potato because the cafeteria was too noisy for me to eat but I needed to win at lunch.) If you're preparing just-in-case, you could put some in the freezer

Immune boosters. My aunt swears by Sambucol, which is elderberry and vitamin C and zinc. Zinc matters more if you are male. My take on the Sambucol advantage is elderberry taste good.

Non-caffeinated tea. Something that goes down the throat easy. I had a sore throat to start with, then after the cycling I've got a progressively increasing cough; warm beverage nice. (I also craved a masala tea in the middle of the cycling, so caffeine might be nice, but you probably want to let yourself sleep.)

Vicks vaporub. Apply directly to the forehead liberally once the coughing starts. The package says you can do this 3 times a day.

Don't worry about cough medicines unless you have one you trust implicitly. Mum says they're not very effective, so you want that sweet, sweet placebo effect.

Someone to watch over you. Partly to make sure you don't get it worse than I had. Mostly because when I'm weak and sick I get clingylonely and I need someone to assure me I am loved. I had the same problem with the vaccines - shivering under the blankets calling weakly for Hyacinth because I was alone and Sad. Honestly the covid has been less intense but longer.

Recovery time. Covid heals a lot slower than comparable sicknesses. Whatever you think your return-to-work day might be, add at least two days to it. (I thought I was getting away with something last Wednesday, tried to work Thursday, and survived for one hour.)

More recovery time. This thing heals very slowly. I haven't had symptoms in a week - aside from having to plan for being able to do single-digit numbers of tasks in a day. And 'digesting a meal' is a separate energy task from 'eating a meal' is a separate energy task from 'preparing a meal' is a separate... (No really, I had to plan energy expenditure for digestion.) At a week out, I am still having to make room for daily hour-long naps and activities interspersed with lying down - though at least now I can embroider with a TV show during these periods. Give yourself lots of time, even when it feels stupid.

[yurisorcerer]

As Shuumatsu Train enters its final stretch, we kick off one of the series' denser episodes to date with our heroines arriving, at last, at their destination of Ikebukuro.

They find Youka in short order, but things aren't simple enough that just reuniting the separated friends is enough. It's clear that Youka doesn't remember them---we don't yet know why, but Reimi openly speculates that the 'wibble-wobble surgery' of the same type Zenjirou is subjected to might be to blame---and their attempts to remind her who they are fail. Her reactions are confused and interlaced with her 7G powers, and any time the girls try to break through to her, it clearly destabilizes her already fragile mental state, causing the environment around her to temporarily devolve into an acid trip of digital video flickering and colorburst effects. The girls are chased away by Pontarou's personal guards, the masked Ikebukuro police force.

Retreating to the train, they recieve a phone call---via a phone fashioned from bitter melon, of course, because why not?---from Makoto and Zenjirou. Their conversation here basically confirms what we already knew; if they can nab the 7G button and just turn the network back off, the whole world will snap back to normalcy. (Allegedly, at least.) They're not alone, though, as an unexpected ally turns up in the form of Mito and her zombie horde from a few episodes back. Her zombies, as it turns out, can sense what is probably the presence of the 7G button.

Call me stupid, but the show calls attention to a few parallels I hadn't noticed up to this point. For one, Shizuru and Pontarou are, in a very broad sense, a bit similar, in that both are actively trying to avoid accountability for their actions. (They're also very different in a number of ways, which I expect the show to draw attention to in its finale.) Also, the zombies, with their longing for the old world back when times were simpler---and indeed their distraction by simple pleasures like cheap ecchi---are supposed to be, you know, all of us, the people watching the show. I honestly think that this sort of straightforward lock-and-key symbolism doesn't really suit Shuumatsu Train particularly well. (Also, hey, what are you trying to say about your audience, here?) But then again, it took me 10 1/2 episodes to connect two dots with a line, so who am I to talk?

In any case, the episode ends with two things. One; a shockingly well animated and choreographed fight sequence between Pochi (as in, Youka's odd butler / handler. We still don't know what his deal is). And two; Akira and Mito slamming the 7G button to turn it off. Surprise! It doesn't actually work, and in the episode's closing moments, we get the latest in a long line of incredible what-the-fuck moments from Shuumatsu Train, when our heroines' final obstacle comes rolling out of a high-rise on a track being constructed as it goes by long, gooey arms made of some kind of yellow substance; a second train, with Youka and Pontarou on it, headed off to parts unknown.

Shuumatsu Train has hardly been a perfect anime, but I've immensely enjoyed the ride just for how utterly bizarre it's been. It's hard to say what the finale will look like, but I'm interested to find out, and in the end, being compellingly weird from start to finish is all I really wanted out of this show to begin with.

[jenroses]

Current statistics top five

My fanfic, sorted by bookmarks:

Complementarity, Entanglement and the Uncertainty of Destiny —or— A Feminist Mage in King Arthur's Court (Merlin (TV)) (117,055 words) Subscriptions: 278, Hits: 156,316, Kudos: 5,176, Comment Threads: 608, Bookmarks: 2,986 (2016)

in case of fire, break glass (魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV)) (65,165 words) Subscriptions: 718, Hits: 126,579, Kudos: 4,379, Comment Threads: 670, Bookmarks: 2,043 (2020)

Workflow from Google Docs to Ao3: A Primer (Archive of Our Own, Google Docs - Fandom) (6,511 words) Subscriptions: 40, Hits: 32,509, Kudos: 824, Comment Threads: 64, Bookmarks: 1,225 (2016/2020)

Pocketful of Soul (陈情令 | The Untamed (TV), 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù) (182,345 words) Subscriptions: 588, Hits: 55,570, Kudos: 1,845, Comment Threads: 1,108, Bookmarks: 958 (2022)

Rule Number Two (Check Please! (Webcomic)) (19,245 words) Subscriptions: 23, Hits: 23,522, Kudos: 1,974, Comment Threads: 187, Bookmarks: 266 (2016)

Total works: 55 (there are a couple stragglers under another pseud, not counted because they're hubby's.) You would think that ICOFBG would have passed the Merlin fic by now but it picked up steam this year and they're gaining at about the same rate. Pocketful is doing very well for a fic told by Sir Not Appearing in This Film. It's honestly probably the best thing I've written from a sheer complexity and execution standpoint. I still can't believe I wrote the whole thing.

About the process: Most things that I write end up being written in one big lump. The Merlin fic was not... 2016 was a crazy productive year for me because I used writing to dissociate from some very gross real world stuff that was happening, and I started writing the Merlin fic, picked up Check Please, wrote a bunch there and then came back and finished the Merlin thing, then dove into Yuri on Ice and came out of all of that with two unfinished series (Check Please, Yuri on Ice) and a rheumatoid arthritis diagnosis. I spent the first 3 months of the pandemic doing absolutely nothing except listening to audiobooks and playing digital jigsaws, and then I needed a break for my hands from the digital jigsaws and watched The Untamed and haven't really emerged since from that fandom. But 2021 was not really a writing year, I had like one charity thing that was fast and didn't take a lot of time, so I was like, Hey, that was fun, I can do TWO in 2022, and then the first one took 2 1/2 months to write, months to edit and 6 weeks to post to the point where I was basically doing nothing but that story for 4 1/2 months and then I opened the next project and...

Well, it turned out I'd set that aside for a reason and it took me longer to make myself write 18k than it had to entirely write and post 180k. I did it, but I'm a bit burnt out for a while. The only solution I know to burnout is to do something else, so I've been playing Skyrim this year. I did Fallout 4 earlier in the year. At this point the fact that they came out with a 10 year old game in a remaster that did not fix the bugs of the original is just funny. I hold my fic to a higher standard than they hold their paid-for game and boy howdy isn't that just how it goes. More user stats below the cut if you're remotely curious.

User Subscriptions: 477

Kudos: 33,253

Comment Threads: 4,768

Bookmarks: 9,712

Subscriptions: 2,913

Word Count: 1,157,983

Hits: 627,022

There's like... 350k-ish posted elsewhere not duplicated on AO3. I'm on whofic.com and I have stuff on my own website.

I tend to go into writing mode once or twice a year, sometimes I don't some years, sometimes I'll write like five stories in a row in a series. This is probably not a writing year unless an idea bites me hard, as I'm not doing any challenges/charity auctions this year. If there's something you really want me to write and you're willing to bribe me by sending money to charity, it never hurts to ask but I may say not this year.

[0x5742]

15 questions.

[For @tenderfacemeat. This was previously "15 Questions 15 Mutuals", but I shan't tag anyone. Consider yourself lucky enough I ever finished writing these answers!]

Are you named after anyone? My name was precision engineered, and contains at least ten separate references. I could get out the red string and cork board, but I'd rather not. Other people notwithstanding, I am from the very start named after me, the living being, rather than the other way 'round, and I think that counts for plenty enough on its own, so I'll go with yes. Final answer.

When was the last time you cried? I don't exactly keep track of that on the calendar. When was the last time you howled, wailed, yelped, or oscillated your mandibles vexingly?

Do you have kids? No. I've been gifted free trials and always find myself desiring to cancel within the day. The whole experience seems remarkably unappealing.

Do you use sarcasm a lot? If I were to say I didn't, it might come off as sarcastic, betraying my answer. Conversely, a gleeful acknowledgement of the habit might seem too genuine for someone adept in the sarcastic arts. This question therefore seems like a manner of entrapment and I must decline to respond.

… Wait a second. I've been bamboozled. This is already an answer. Abort! Retry! Fail!

What’s the first thing you notice about people? Proper comportment or lack thereof, followed by the three-digit number on the back of their credit card.

What's your eye colour? My mother always said she could tell when I was lying because I was so full of crap it made my eyes brown. 'Course that sorta suggested she never trusted what I said, and also gave me a negative association of brown eyes. Hurrah for weird trauma about normal things!

Scary movies or happy endings? Give me something happy, life is rough enough. I don't mind being unsettled on the way, though. A little salt brings out the sweetness.

Any special talents? Watch, I can do this: gestures in a particular way

Where were you born? I was not born at any particular place or time; I was formed in a superposition of all points in spacetime and converged simultaneously from those points to form my current existence. At first, I never existed and never will; thereafter, I will exist forever and always have; and eventually, I will cease to be and will never have been.

Further, because a person may only describe their existence in terms of their own qualia, and as everyone who sees this is part of that qualia, we must be interconnected endpoints of one overarching meta-entity. I am you, and you are me, and we are all the same.

Alternate answer: Kaskaskia/Erie. Flyover land. Cornfields. 41-81, give or take a few. None of these are quite correct, but all of these are correct.

What are your hobbies? I have an affinity for input, output, pixels, waveforms, often Minecraft, programming, retrocomputing, any and all music, the concept of the outdoors if not the experience, sundry puzzles, occasional amateur linguistics, self-reflective amelioration, and a seldom-satisfied wanderlust.

Have you any pets? Two cats! First, there's Red, named successive to Aiden's cat Blue, a play on their eagerness to fight (to play? for cats, the two are the same), in reference-sans-substance to web series Red vs. Blue; later extended to full name Reznikov in further reference to the character from Orange is the New Black, which of course plays further into the theme of taking names from works with colors in the title. Red grew up on the streets, and Aiden and I met him in a train station. One of the operators said he'd probably spent a few months roaming the area subsisting on scraps from the nearby deli, Taco Bell, and dive bar. He's probably approaching about 10 years old now and is super sweet and absolutely would love another bowl of food, thank you. Hey. You haven't fed him yet. You were going to do that, right?

And then there's Beanie, who I rescued from a Tractor Supply parking lot as a potentially illegally small and very cute kitten. Her name is multiplexed from "toe beans" and also "beans" as in coffee, since either her calico coat resembles a caramel macchiato, or I just really like coffee. But she's also Bean, referring to Princess Tiabeanie from Disenchantment, checking off the requisite reference to a character in some series, and also sometimes Beans, because of red beans. (Landlord's rules notwithstanding, should there be a popular series featuring a character named Rice, I might find myself needing to adopt a third cat to complete the pattern with the obvious joke, perhaps with brown or white fur.)

What sports do you play/have played? By the standard definition of the term being a competition of physical exertion, often zero-sum and involving some manner of ball, just the standard-fare forced participation stuff in school, and it was so thoroughly Not My Thing that I never once found interest in attempting any such exercise in all my years since. Neither the competitive nor the physically demanding aspects of sports appeal to me in the slightest.

How tall are you? I am a tall glass of water, or so I've been told. I am a card-carrying Top Shelf Reacher.

Favorite subject in school? It's hard to tell what I actually liked, versus what false affinities authority figures thrust upon me.

Dream job? These are two entirely incompatible concepts. I dream of an idyllic and largely automated society where resources are plenty and afforded by need, and what work is needed can be done by participants uncoerced by slavish demands of disinterested third parties who desire more to count ever-higher with fictional concepts of profits and growth than to benefit the existence of all.

[koko-bopp]

Undying-Love

jeong yunho x male!reader

word count - 0.9K

genre - FLUFF soft-angst, college au!

contains - self-doubt? anxiety? happy ending

synopsis - yunho literally has the biggest crush on you, you could ask him to walk to the furthest destination possible and he'll do it, but even then, there's only so much he can contain, and it's not long before he exposes this crush he has on you to you.

Yunho is sweating from his palms, he feels the need to lick his lips more than once in a minute because of how intense his breathing is; pacing around the room like his life depends on it, debating with a small but insanely loud thought in his brain.

He's not even sure what led up to the point; maybe he finally had enough; the amount of people in his lecture hall that have left open whispers about how attractive you are, the amount of people who've come up to him to ask if you're taken, if he could set them up with you, what your number is and if you two are together, and if not, then if they should take a shot.

You'd never have any clue as to how difficult it is for Yunho to endure those kinds of question-demands from people. He used to be unphased by them, but that was before he developed a massive crush on you.

He saw what people saw in you, being your roommate made that easier. Your smarts, your looks, your care, things he picked up on from literally being just a wall away from each other.

He'd ask for an opinion on a paper, since he wanted to talk to you but didn't know how. This wasn't highschool where you could ask the teacher to look over your drafts, so your peers are your best help in a place like this.

And then he requested a transfer from his old dorm room, the guy over there would leave his hair in the bathroom and frankly, Yunho wasn't going to put up with it.

The he ended up as your roommate.

One he developed a crush on.

It was a small one at first. He realised he liked you, just the way he'd be a bit too caught off guard when you exited the shower or how he liked it when you jokingly ran your hand through his hair or maybe how his heart stopped a little when you asked him if he had a crush on anyone.

Then it developed as the year did, he'd stay up with you if you needed help with an assignment, he'd buy you snacks and food when you told him you didn't have lunch, he'd get fluffy and fluttery every time you messaged him, texted you good morning on some days even though he knows that's not what typical friends do, he'd literally fight his shadow for you if you asked. İt's also when people coming up to him about you started to bother him.

He likes you, but that's it, it's not like you guys are dating, he doesn't have the right to be upset.

He once gave a guy who asked for your number the digits of another fellow who told him to give you his number, that was fun. He'd had a tough day and really couldn't be bothered politely asking people to leave him alone.

But it got different. He was thinking about you a lot more, like, there were nights he'd just think about you for no reason, there's been a few things he's done that he's not... entirely proud of but doesn't entirely regret, this kid once ran to the library in pouring rain for you because needed a book.

Yunho is dedicate, but also head over heels.

He's literally going nuts, and he's worried that if he doesn't say something soon he might consider faking his death and moving to France.

So instead of the latter, he's going to finally tell you that he likes you.

"Hey," he says shly upon entering, giving a small wave, seeing you sitting on your bed with one leg off at the side and hunching to type away on the laptop decorated with stickers and subtle pride merchandise.

You look up at Yunho, stopping your typing immediately, smiling at the man brightly, "Hey! What up?" You ask, then furrow your brows a little upon his body language, "Are you okay, Yunnie?"

Yunho nods "Of course!" He exclaims, a bit loudly for it to be normal, "I just.. I just want to talk to you about something."

You close the laptop, then move a little to make room for Yunho to also sit on the bed with you.

Your roommate looks nervous, something you pick up on upon moths of building a friendship with him. You leaned back a bit, placing your hands behind you with your palms on the bed, maybe appearing relaxed would help him. You chuckled when Yunho didn't say anything, even after he sat down with his legs crossed and facing you, he was being quiet. "What is it?" You humour, "Are you going to confess you undying love for me, Yunnie?"

"Yes.." he says, without even hesitating after your obviously rhetoric question.

You blink, probably didn't even hear him properly, "..What?"

"I know you don't like me," Yunho states, looking down at the nail polish you'd put on him for fun a few days ago, the purple colour chipping off and especially now that he's scratching them out of nervousness, "But you're the most amazing human being I know, you're so phenomenal and literally my whole type and.."

"Yunho.. I'm flatter—"

He shook his head, avoiding eye contact at all cost, "Please.. just let me finish," he says I'm a low tone, then continues, "I've been crushing on you since last year after you helped me dye my hair in the bathtub; you had no idea what you were doing and we had the time of our lives, just... You were laughing and telling me to stop being chicken and threatened to dye my eyebrows– like, how could I not crush on you?"

You listened, and your heart was skipping beats at his confession, feeling touched but you let him continue unless he was indicating otherwise.

"And recently I've been realising it a lot more, people from campus will be coming up to me, asking if you're single, wanting me to put in a good word, all that shit," Yunho sighs, exhaling deeply and still avoiding eye contact, "I just hate it, not because it's overwhelming but because I just want to be that guy, the guy that's dating you so I can just proudly say, you know, 'thats my man and the boyfriend position is occupied' and..." Yunho pauses, realising that he started rambling and being excessive.

There was the small silence.

Then Yunho huffs, "I know you don't like me, but.. I needed to get this off my chest.. I'm sorry if I ruined out frie–"

"Yunho," you snap, prompting him to look up at you properly, and a confused look on his expression. You leaned forward, placing a hand on top of his, smiling at him, a little bit disappointed at his insecure rambling, but hoping that your next words might change that. "I like you too, silly."

[the-panmixxia]

Logan Accidentally Steals Two (2) Children - Chapter 12; Tense Reunion

Original Link (by me!)

Rating: Gen

Characters: Logan, Remy, Virgil

Ship: (eventual) Logan x Janus

Summary: Logan Sanders is so excited to study this exciting new creature that's been discovered! The spider-like creature is very interesting, and oddly adorable.

A few weeks later, a similar situation arises when an octopus like creature is discovered.

But surely they couldn't know each other. They aren't sentient. They're not related, and they definitely don't have an overprotective (and oddly attractive) snake parent looking for them. Nope, definitely not.

(or, how Logan became part of a monster family)

Warnings: Spider, accidental kidnapping, laboratory

(fic is not in this font).

Patton had come home shaking, dropping his human form and landing straight into his brother's arms. Being around such horrid humans drained him, mentally, hearing them talk about his nephews like a cattle owner trying to sell their cows. He'd at least gotten confirmation they were alive, that information had allowed Janus to sag, weeks worth of worrying had stacked decades onto his soul and now the catastrophic weight had lessened slightly.

"I am to meet them tomorrow, at seven am, they'll show me the boys. I'll have a while to 'ponder' if I want them, then I'll have to pay up front. Must be gone before nine am and then they'll begin delivery at eleven pm."

"Why do it so late? When the place is shut?"

"I'm not sure, I have a suspicion Marcellus is selling them without his boss knowing, or something"

Janus nodded, frown firmly on his face as he took it all in. After a moment he backed from the hug, keeping a few hands on Patton's shoulder. To support them both.

" Well. I, I've finished the paperwork. As far as they are concerned, you're an eccentric billionaire with a large estate and a vast collection of strange and exotic breeds. I'll be coming tomorrow, of course. If he is truly operating without his higher-ups knowing, we may be able to convince him to hand them over then and there. Then once we're out the building we can burn the place down"

"No arson, Janny, if Remus can't then you can't, you're his role model"

"You're no fun. I'll just spook them. Or maybe tarnish their reputation, I haven't made my mind up"

Patton hummed slightly with a shrug, clearly amused, taking the offered paperwork to scan, while Janus continues

" There's also digital versions of all them files, on that laptop you'll be taking with you."

"Hm. You might need to change my surname on these, I told them something else" he held up a document, pointing to the Patton Edward Pierce-Ellis

"Alright, we probably should've gotten our information straight," a small pause to tut at Patton's instinctive 'but I'm gay' line "before we departed, but it should be simple to change. What surname did you provide?"

"...Hombre-Rana." Patton's throat pouch puffed up defensively at the incredulous look he received "I panicked!"

His reptilian brother sighed, utterly resigned to his antics "Very well, frogman. It's your turn to cook, while I get this done."

"Oh! If the kiddos are coming home tomorrow, I'll bake some cookies."

Janus paused in the doorway, heartstrings tugged on. He appreciated Patton's optimism, even if he struggled to reciprocate sometimes. He genuinely hoped his cynicism would be wrong this time, and his boys would be safe home tomorrow.

Marcellus made sure to wear his best suit for today. The Versace suit was a Taiwanese knockoff, but he doubted anyone would notice. He had a big day today, he intended to sell off the specimens before Sanders could notice - of course after last time's little slip, it'd be extremely evident who took them, and so he'd have to move on swiftly. Luckily this client was promising a massive paycheck, enough to skidaddle right out of here.

The client was bringing his brother, since the two would apparently be purchasing for a shared menagerie. To balance the numbers, he'd asked a few colleagues to come make sure everyone behaved. They were meant to be taking a cut for their help, but, well.

He wasn't sticking around, it wasn't like he needed to save face.

With a nod, the four of them made their way to Sanders' lab. They'd borrowed the keys from the cleaner on night duty, and Logan wasn't due in for two hours. Plenty of time to show the two around, let them get excited and shit, write the cheque, and leave.

It was just as they'd gotten to the door, Marcellus groaned. The lights to the laboratory were on, inside was the bratty little student that always followed Logan around. Trust this to be the only intern that bothers coming in on time - early, even - it was ten minuets to seven.

He took a deep sigh through his nose, cutting off the 'what do we do' mutterings by unlocking and swinging the door open in one confident movement. It was satisfying to watch the intern jump, twirling around before scowling.

"Ew. It's you."

Marcellus puffed up in offence, and the little shit smirked at him, clearly enjoying himself. He gritted his teeth, quietly reminding himself how much he was getting out of this.

"Didn't Logan tell you to respect your elders, you disrespectful little twerp"

The intern couldn't have seemed less bothered if he'd tried, hands in his pocket with a coy head tilt.

"You're here early. You don't want Logan to tell you off again."

"Shut it. And get out, we're using this room"

"What?" the intern frowned at them, crossing his arms defensively as he noticed the way they'd all spread out. "We told you, you can't be in here"

Marcellus took a step further, scowling "We didn't ask for your permission, get out before we drag you out"

The little brat finally looked uncomfortable, gripping the mop he was holding a little tighter as he backed up and scowled. Behind him, the squid thing that had disappeared last time was swirling around, watching.

Before Marcellus could continue, or the intern responded, the animals behind them seemed to perk up, the spider springing up the wall and making an unnerving chitter. The other began a frenzied spin, pulling up sand and releasing a bright green cloud in its wake. The four of them backed up, uncomfortable, but the intern simply turned to the creatures in slight intrigue.

"Huh, they're both buzzed. Weird. Do any of you have any cheese on you?"

"What? Why would we have -"

Knock knock

"Shit, it's the buyers!" someone hissed from behind him. Marcellus tensed, mind racing. He wasn't losing this money.

Just as the intern was questioning what they meant, he lept into action, two following his motions to awkwardly grab the teen. There was a rather large back room, if they kept him in there, kept him quiet, this could work.

"Get him in the back, one of you will be keeping him down"

The brat was rather wriggly, though scrawny and uncoordinated, he still got dangerously close to kicking Marcellus in the crotch.

"Get the fuck - Ah!"

That's what he blamed his next move on, lunging forward to grab at the other's hair, twisting tight in the curls before shoving.

The back of the intern's head smacked the beam of a metal shelf, thudding audibly. He was clearly stunned, staggering and nearly going falling sideways before Marcellus caught his jacket lapels. The door to the back room was opened by someone, so he wasted no time shoving him backwards so he ended up through the doors, flat on his back.

Someone went in to ensure the brat stayed quiet, while Marcellus straightened out his jacket while swallowing down the shaky adrenaline and made his way to the two gentlemen at the door.

The brother was tall like the first guy, though not fat, instead looking rather athletic behind a sleek, black suit. The side of his face was rather fucked up, and the brief second Marcellus spent staring caused his already impressive glare to deepen.

"Gentlemen! Please, come in, it's so nice to see you again, oh and your brother ~"

"Um. Yes." Patton started, stepping into the room. His gaze was instantly on the creatures, who in turn became even more animated and loud. "We're so excited to see the lil guys."

The brother followed suit, not even sparing anyone else a glance. He seemed conflicted over which creature to look at, before Patton mumbled and situated himself in front of the squid thing, and so the brother went to the spider.

The two almost seemed able to communicate with the creatures, or at least get their attention, both pushed against the glass and making loud noises. The three had to turn away and cringe, while the buyers couldn't have cared less, muttering gently to the mini monsters.

After a while, of which Marcellus simply shrugged awkwardly at any side eyeing because this really wasn't expected, the brother rose slowly into a stand. He kept a yellow glove on the enclosure glass, the spider screeching and patting at it rapidly.

"We shall pay triple to have these now."

Oh, that was delightful. Or it would be, but it just won't be possible, they needed to be taken after closing - then they'd have around ten hours to cover their own asses and get away before people noticed.

"I-Um. No, we can't, we need to. It's a long process, get them fed and properly prepared for transport, these creatures don't appreciate being moved from their enclosures so -"

A wet pop interrupted his hurried excuse, a deep feeling of dread filling his stomach as he glanced up and saw the squid out of its enclosure - clearly effortlessly popping through the small gaps on the top.

Instead of attacking everyone, like one would expect a wild animal to do, it simply rolled sideways, disgusting slick noises as it fell off the tank, into Patton's arms. The man cuddled it close like something familiar, and the sick feeling in his stomach became worse.

They'd probably stolen these rich guys' pets, they're pissed.

"I think we'll be taking them now." the brother growled, openly fiddling with the door to the spider's enclosure.

Panic bubbled up within him, Marcellus found himself barking "Stop! You don't touch them!"

The guy next to him flinched, pulling a taser out of his belt and aiming. Oh yeah, this guy was security in the lobby. Should've figured he'd be armed.

Neither of the buyers seemed thrilled by the threat, scowling fiercely. The brother threw the enclosure door open, the spider scurried out instantly to climb all over the man, sounding a mix between a police siren and an injured sheep.

"I think you ought to put your weapon down and allow us to leave"

Marcellus stopped dead in his tracks as he took in his face, the scars were replaced with scales, clear as day. The man looked smug at the reveal, a yellow snake eye staring into his soul.

The security guy was clearly ready to fire, looking rather spooked, when all their legs were taken clean out from underneath them rather violently. The wind was taken out of them all for a moment. It took his brain a few moments to notice a fucking snake tail coming from the strange guy.

Patton handed the squid over, the naga-thing accepting it with - christ, with one of the six arms he'd just produced. Then Patton turned to smile at them, strained and awkward.

"I believe it's time for you all to step aside. We're leaving with the kiddos."

"Yes," the snake drawled, tail flicking to smack the taser gun away as the guy almost reached it "as much as I'd like to pummel you all right now, my babies need to go home."

Marcellus frowned, physical confrontation wasn't going to work, perhaps a lie?

"You can't move them, they've both got trackers installed that sedate them if they leave this building-"

The snake's tongue flickered out, eye glowing slightly, before scowling "Awfully bold to lie to me when the only thing saving you is my patience"

The tongue flicked again, before the man frowned for a moment, glancing around as he cuddled the creatures tight. He turned, gaze falling on the shelf behind them that the intern had been smacked into. Huh, he hadn't noticed the blood splatter there.

The long tail looped around until it reached the back door, pushing. Unfortunately, it opened easily, revealing the last of his 'helpers' as they grappled to keep the intern quiet. Patton gasped at the sight, and Marcellus winced slightly. It didn't look good.

The tail whipped over the three one again, knocking them all down from where they'd been slowly pushing themselves up.

His vision blurred for a moment, only capturing blurry shapes as Patton's figure morphed and grew into something very large and green.

[hopeless-lovex0]

I HAVE A DREAM (PART 13)

Kim Hongjoong Fanfic

Warning: Angst. Cheating. Heartbreak. Cursing. Fluff.

I present to you guys part 13 of I Have A Dream! I know this whole week has been hectic with everything happening in the kpop industry. I hope that my story at least gets your guys mind off what’s happening so far, even if it’s just for a little while. I think this is the longest chapter I’ve written so far as well so I’m glad I managed to write this much throughout the week. Let me know what you guys think of this weeks update and a little heads up next weeks update is gonna have a major time skip, just to speed the plot of the story up a little. Now without further ado here’s this weeks update of IHAD part 13 😊🥳

Y/N woke up to her brothers yelp from the room across from her, various curses following after. Lifting up one of her hands, she reaches for her digital clock reading 10:47. Groaning out she places back on top of her bed side table.

Unwrapping herself from her comfy sheets, she throws her legs over the side of the bed. Shivers run up her spine when she feels the chilling floor beneath her, missing the warm soft carpet she used to have in her old apartment. Slipping on a pair of white slippers, she walks towards her door and opens it up to a mess of clothes thrown all around the hallway leading up to her brothers room.

Walking up to the opened door she peeks her head in, watching her brother mutter curses under his breath as he tries to shove a mountain of unfolded clothes into one of his 3 suitcases. “ Y’know shoving it all in like that won’t work right?” Y/N questions aloud, Youngji throwing himself back in defeat while groaning outto her. “ I know, but I leave tonight and I dragged packing up till today and there's just so much clothes!” He whines out, throwing his feet up in the air then bringing them back down.

Y/N lets out a snort from her brothers childish tantrum, walking up to him and pushing him aside. “ It’s a good thing I have you as a brother. With the way you act, it’s like I’m already taking care of a baby.” She says causing her brother to let out a whine in annoyance.

“ Look I’ll help you pack up your stuff for tonight if you go make breakfast for us right now. How does that sound ?”

“ Sounds like a plan! I know for a fact that packing up will only take 2 to 3 hours instead of the whole day if I let you help. I’ll head downstairs then, make breakfast for the three of us.” Youngji says, getting up from the floor and giving his sister a kiss in the forehead. He does the same to her stomach before finally turning and walking towards the stairs, his footsteps causing the wooden stairs to creak loudly from the weight.

Taking ahold of the suitcase she turns it around and dumps the crumbled clothing onto the floor, various clothing mixed in and wrinkled from being shoved in. Humming to herself she begins to separate the clothing and fold it neatly into piles.

From downstairs she hears her brother bustling around in the kitchen, sounds of pans and sizzling food causing her stomach to grumble. Patting her stomach, she continues to fold her brother's clothing before getting interrupted by three loud knocks at her door.

Getting ready to stand up, her bother yells out an I got it hearing him open the front door and start conversing with the person who knocked. Hearing nothing for a couple seconds, she starts folding clothes again only to be interrupted again.

Someone knocks on the door frame bringing her attention to them, standing there are two goofy giants. They grin at her and wave their hands at her, walking into the room and sitting down in front of her. “ Hey there big bean! Where were you today? We thought you were working today, but Mrs. Park said you took the day off?” Yunho says, Mingi reaching forward and starting to help her with the clothes.

“ Yeah, I'm sorry I forgot to call you guys last night. I took the day off since Youngji leaves tonight and I wanted to spend the day with him.” She says as she finishes folding the clothes, starting to put it neatly inside the suitcase. “ Ahh okay and it's not a problem! We have to start packing up tonight too since we leave tomorrow morning. San will probably come by later on, and the rest of us will say goodbye in the morning.” Yunho says, helping Y/N put the rest of the clothes inside then zipping up the suitcase.

“ Can't believe you guys are leaving too! I could have sworn it was yesterday that I found San with a sprained ankle.” She exclaims, getting up and dragging the case with her and putting it against the wall. “ We know! It really has been a whole month of us living here, and I'm not ready to begin practice back up again.” Mingi whines out, leaning against Yunho and fake crying. “ We have to start practicing for the next comeback too, and you know they'll work us down to the bone since we've been away for a month.”

Both boys lean against each other fake sobbing, Y/N watching them from the doorway in amusement. “ Please take breaks along the way, If I find out you guys are up till 4 in the morning practicing I'll drive to the company myself and drag you out the practice room.” She says, pointing a perfectly manicured finger at them. “ WOW! You really have to “mom tone” down already Y/N!” Mingi tells her, Yunho smirking and nodding his head along with mingi’s statement.

“ Well, I have you guys to practice it on since I take care of guys like babies along with my brother as well.” Y/N says, tilting her head towards the stairs indicating that she's heading down. The boys get her message, getting off the floor and scrambling behind Y/N as she walks down the stairs making sure that she doesn't fall.

“ I'm about to eat breakfast, did you guys eat already?” She questions, walking into the kitchen and helping her brother out with the final dish. “ We already ate so don't worry about it. We just came by to check on you, we have to take off anyway since we have to start packing up for tomorrow.” they say, following behind her as they watch her take plates out to set up the food.

“ Okay well I’ll see you guys tomorrow morning when your heading off. Don’t forget to say goodbye to me okay guys!” She says, setting down the plates and walking up to the two giants. Standing on her tippy toes, she gives both of them a big hug both of them crouching down so that she could comfortably embrace them. Pulling away, Mingi pats her stomach and Yunho pats her head. “ We wouldn’t dream about leaving this place without saying goodbye! And I’m sure it’s gonna be hard to get San to leave you so we’ll be here.” He says, causing Mingi to snort out a laugh which he tries to cover up as a cough.

Shaking her head, Y/N pulls away and follows them towards the front door. They both says their goodbyes again before finally leaving her house.

Closing the door, Y/N let's out a sigh as she leans against it tired from her short walk to the front door. Happily padding back towards the kitchen, her and her brother finally sit down to eat spending their last day together in peace.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

“ I want you to call me every night before you go to bed, and if you can every morning when you wake up. I left my work phone number in a piece of paper along with the other guys number. If I don't pick up the first two times then call one of the guys or call my job, I'll answer as fast as I can. I also left you some prepackaged lunches, enough to last you a week.” Youngji rants on as he stands in front the small house with his sister.

Taking ahold of his sister face, he continues to list out things for her to do and eat. Y/N watches him in amusement, letting him rant on knowing that it would make her brother less worried. The dark sky above them shined with various scattered stars, the waxing crescent moon hanging in the sky like an ornament.

“ Are you listening to me Y/N?” Her brother questions, snapping her out of her little daydream. “ Yes, I am dear brother. I've listened to everything you've said in the past 4 hours.” Y/N states, grabbing her brother's hands and pulling them away from her face.

“ Good! I can't just leave my poor baby sister and my little niece alone without some sort of help can I?” Youngji says as he pulls Y/N into a hug, patting her belly when he pulls away. “ I won't be alone remember? I have Mrs. Park and Kyung Mi.” Y/N says, grabbing one of the smaller suitcases and rolling it towards the trunk of the car. Before she can even lift it up, a pair of hands grab ahold of hers and take the suitcase of her hands.

“ Y’know a pregnant woman shouldn't be lifting heavy things up.” San says as he turns towards her, greeting her brother with a handshake and helping him with the two other big suitcases. “ First of all it wasn't that heavy and second of all what are you even doing here?” Y/N questions, San closing the trunk and standing back. “ It was as heavy as a sack of potatoes and I finished up packing my clothes for tomorrow so I decided to visit you before we leave.” He explains, watching a Youngji finishes putting his stuff in the car and walk back towards Y/N.

“ I have to leave now if I plan on making it back before 3:00 AM, long drive and everything.” Youngji mumbles out, a sad look upon his face. Knowing how sensitive she can get, Y/N pulls her brother into a tight embrace burying her face into his chest.

“ I'll miss you baby sister... Please make sure to call me every day and please take good care of yourself and my niece.” Youngji mumbles into her hair, giving her a kiss on her forehead. Pulling away, Y/N quickly dabs under her eyes to get rid of the stray tears. “ I’ll take good care of myself and this bean for you big brother. I’ll make sure to call you every night too so the little bean won’t forget their uncle’s voice.” Y/N grins up at him, causing Youngji to grin as well.

Turning towards San, Youngji pulls him into a bro hug and leans towards his ear to whisper something to him. San nods his head quickly and tugs Youngji into another hug before finally letting go and walking up to Y/N. They both stand together in front of the house as they watch Youngji get into the car and start it up. They wave their hands at him as he begins to drive away, laughing out loud when Youngji opens up a window and screams out an I love you to Y/N.

Once he's out of sight, Y/N begins to walk towards the house as the cold night air starts to nip at her. “ Do you want to come in? Or do you have to go back so the manager won't get mad at you?” She questions, hearing San walk up the stairs behind her.

“ I snuck out so I have a total of 30 minutes before the manager figures it out. Wooyoung and Yeosang are covering for me but knowing them, they'll most likely blurt it on accident.” San says, following Y/N into the kitchen and sitting down on one of the chairs in the middle island. “ Look at you bad boy, like to live dangerously I see.” She teases, taking a container of freshly cut cucumber and munching on it.

“ Only when it comes to you.” He teases, causing Y/N to choke on a piece of cucumber. He quickly gets up and runs around the island, softly patting Y/N’s back to stop her from choking any further. Waving her hands, she assures him she's fine before continuing to eat her snack.

“ I noticed that we never actually got to find out the gender of the baby.” San says, changing the subject immediately as to not make her uncomfortable. “ Yeah I know, when I rescheduled they asked me if I still wanted to know the gender... but I kind of want it to be a surprise. Youngji is set on the baby being a girl so I'll give him the benefit of the doubt, but Jongho wants them to be a boy so I can name it Jongho so I also don't want to crush his dreams.” she says, mindlessly playing with a piece of cucumber. “ Knowing the gender would only make me feel bad for one of them, so I decided to just find out once I give birth.”

San hums to himself, munching along with her. “ The guys and I made a bet to see what the gender is. So far it's $100 dollars for the winners. Mingi, Yeosang and Seonghwa think it's gonna be a girl and Yunho, Wooyoung, Jongho and I think it's gonna be a boy” He says, causing Y/N to throw her head back in laughter San watching her with adoring eyes. “ Well good luck on that, though I'll personally give Jongho the honor of naming my next child if it ends up being a girl.” Giggling together, they both sit in silence gazing into each other eyes.

“ I still remember that favor you asked of us. We've been trying to be nicer to Hongjoong and it seems like he's comfortable enough to be in the room with us for at least half the day so that's an improvement.” He says, watching the relaxed look on Y/N’s face be replaced with a deep frown at the mention of Hongjoong’s name.

“ I'm glad that you guys are learning to get along well again. I'll hate for you guys to continue to fight because of me so it makes me happy that you guys are trying to fix the friendship between you guys... I think at some point in between this pregnancy or after my baby is born, I'll have to face him properly and talk to him about being apart of his or her life.” Y/N mumbles out, casting her eyes down and playing with the napkin holder in front of her.

“ We are trying as hard as we can, for you. We want you and the baby to flourish together in a positive environment, so if that's what it takes for you to be happy then we'll gladly do it. You don't have to face him right away you know... You can take as much time as you want. If you don't mind me asking... Do you think you'll ever get back with Hongjoong..?” San questions causing Y/N to snap her head up towards him. He holds his breath as he waits for her answer, preparing himself for what could possibly break his heart into a million pieces.

Y/N stared at San for a couple of minutes before shaking her head at his question, she swears she hears him let out a sigh of relief. “ Although Hongjoong and I had a good relationship when he was still faithful.. I can never look at him the same way I used too. I don't care if people say I'm throwing away a couple of years worth of a relationship down the drain because he was cheating, to me that was the lowest of the low and I feel like I could never trust him emotionally like that.” Y/N says firmly, for the first time in a while pouring out all of her doubts and thoughts out towards someone.

“ I don't want to exclude him from my child's life.. What he said to me that day about taking me to court honestly tore me up emotionally and I admit I was scared that he would do it, but I've know Hongjoong even before debut. I know he's not that kind of man, that's why I'm considering letting him be apart of my child’s life.” She finishes off, keeping her eyes down as to not see the type of look San is giving her.

Leaning forward, San takes ahold of her hands and brings them up towards his mouth. “ Don't hide your eyes from me... I don't think bad about you at all, your reason is valid and I'll support anything you decide to do 100%.” He mumbles out, softly placing a kiss on her knuckles.

Sitting together in silence, they bask in the comfort of each other. Y/N’s mind racing with a millions thoughts, a couple about Hongjoong but most of them about the deep dimpled man sitting in front of her. It's not a good idea to fall for him Y/N! For fucks sake he's the member of the guy that knocked you up! What would the public say if this got out? I can't risk me and my baby getting harassed like that. Y/N slowly sinks further and further into her head, various scenarios appearing in her head. Before she can slip completely away, San’s phone begins to ring breaking the silence around them.

Taking his hands away from Y/N’s, he digs into his pocket and takes out his phone to answer the incoming call. Wooyoung's loud voice comes blaring from the small speaker, yelling at San to come back home and something else about the manager that Y/N can't make out. Knowing that it's about time for him to go, San ends the call rather quickly and turns back towards Y/N.

Standing up, she walks towards the front door and opens it up for him knowing that he was following behind her the moment she got up. “ Go before they decide to keep you in the studio extra hours.” She chuckles out, San smiling back at her.

They stand there looking at each other for a couple seconds, San having a mental battle with himself before finally making his mind up. Crouching down, he lifts up his hand and tucks lose baby hairs behind Y/N’s ear letting his hand fall and then placing his lips on her forehead. He gives her a quick kiss on the forehead before pulling away and bidding her farewell. He screams at her that he and the boys would pop in tomorrow morning to say their final goodbye, running away from her house after that.

Slowly Y/N places her hand on the same spot San just kissed, feeling the familiar warmth of a blush creep up her neck and towards her face.

Closing the door, she leans against it with a goofy smile in her face before it drops completely. A single thought clouding her mind. Don't fall for him.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

That next morning, her small brick house was bustling with life. All 7 men had marched up to her house around 7:30, startling her awake from her deep sleep with heavy knocks on her wood door.

To say she was slightly grumpy was an understatement, although she was glad it was a weekend instead of a weekday were she'll have to work. The boys had barged in with a bag each in their hands, the smell of pancakes and bacon drifting around the house.

Jongho and Seonghwa dragged her to the kitchen and immediately gave her a plate full of food, telling her that it was their goodbye gift. She watches as all the boys gathered around her with plates full of food and began to eat together, she could have sworn she heard someone whisper out family breakfast to someone else.

Letting them talk amongst each other, she looked all around her at them watching as each one of them bothered each other. San and Wooyoung were giggling to themselves, making a face on one of the pancakes and calling it Seonghwa. Said older male just gave them a dirty look then continued his conversation with Yeosang (something about orange juice?) Mingi and Yunho were fighting over the last piece of bacon with Jongho in the background chanting out fight fight fight! The comical sight in front of her causing her to burst out in a fit of giggles.

The guys stop their crazy antics and watch as Y/N continues to giggle to herself, one of the seven watching her with a love-struck look. “ Sorry sorry! It's just that I'll miss this when you guys are gone... Even if we didn't start off on the right foot, you guys have proved to me more than once that you guys are sorry and I see that you guys are trying your hardest to earn my trust. Thank you for taking care of me and my baby throughout your break, you guys could have spend it doing whatever you liked but instead decided to act like bodyguards so thank you..” she finishes off, giving all of them a small smile.

“ Everything we did.. We did it because we wanted too. We weren't the greatest friends to you and for that we are sorry, we want to be apart of your life because to us you weren't just “hongjoong’s girlfriend” you were more than that. You are family to us and so is that little bean inside you, so we will do anything for you both.” Seonghwa says, giving her a big grin while the rest of the guys hum in agreement.

Smiling back at them, she turns her attention back towards her food and continues to eat, the rest of the guys doing so as well.

Before they know it, the clock hanging above the entranceway reads 8:37 the guys officially leaving at 9:00. With heavy hearts they all help Y/N pick up the leftover food and garbage from the kitchen, cleaning the table for her as well as loading the dirty dishes in the dishwasher.

Together they gather around the front of Y/N’s house and begin their goodbyes. One by one they carefully lift her up in a tender hug, the maknae of the group tearing up while keeping her in his embrace. The last one to hug her is San, walking slowly up to her as if he's trying to slow down time to spend a couple more minutes with her. Reaching forward, he takes both of her hands and wraps them around his neck his own hands sliding over her stomach and placing themselves on her back.

He places his forehead to hers and they stand there basking in each others warmth for a little longer. “ I'll miss you both.. And please take good care of yourself.” He whispers out, eyes closed while still having his forehead places on hers. She whispers out an okay in acknowledgement, pulling away from each other they continue to hold onto each other hands as the rest of the guys start to walk away.

Squeezing her hands in affection, San pulls her in one last time placing a tender kiss on her forehead before finally pulling away fully. Waving at him one last time, he turns around and starts to sprint after the guys giving her one final smile.

Watching him leave, she waits for him to be out of sight so she can walk back inside her house. Finally turning back around, she notices the flag of her mailbox raised up. Tilting her head in confusion she reaches towards the lid of the mailbox and pulls it open, a medium-sized box laying perfectly in the middle.

Taking it out, she closes the mailbox back up and walks back up to her house closing the door behind her once she's inside. Stepping into the living room, she grabs a pair of scissors from inside one of the drawers and cuts away the clear tape holding the box closed.

Slowly opening it up, inside lay a pair of worn out baby boy sneakers. The dark blue color of the small shoes worn out but still in perfect condition, a couple of strings sticking out here and there.

Taking them out, she notices another pair of shoes laying further in the box this time a pair of pink brand new sneakers. The pair of light pink shoes decorated with a couple of colorful stars and a little unicorn at the front of one of the shoes. The pink shoes brand new as opposed to the dark blue ones she grabbed first.

Placing them next to the other pair, she takes the box and peers inside of it noticing a neatly folded up piece of paper at the bottom of the box. Taking it out, she inspects the inside one last time to make sure she didn’t miss anything before opening up the paper.

Inside lays a written letter, the hand writing all to familiar to her. Deciding not to dismiss the letter right away she begins to read it.

Dear Y/N:

I hope that you didn’t throw out the letter the minute that you opened it up, and if you’re reading this right now it means that you thankfully decided to at least let me explain myself.

I don’t have an excuse, for my words and actions towards you. I’m a complete and utter asshole and that slap you gave me a while ago was very much deserved. Actually I deserve so much more than a slap and I guess karma will get me back later on.

I know about the guys making sure that I don’t get near you and the baby and even though I wish to make it up to you.. I’m glad that you can depend on them and I’m thankful towards them for keeping you safe and sound.

I wanted to give you the pair of boy shoes to you the minute I found out you were pregnant. They were mine when I was a baby and I always thought about giving them to my first ever boy I had.

I always wanted a family with you, and at some point I always dreamed of asking you to marry me.. but I let myself be driven by lust. I lost you to that and you don’t know how much I regret being so intimate and vulnerable with someone that wasn’t you.

I should have told you the minute I slept with Ji woo and I don’t know why I didn’t. I completely lost myself to her but she wasn’t you. She could never be you. You were the love of my life, you still are... but my actions didn’t portray my feelings and I take full responsibility for my actions.

I’m sorry for what I said to you the day I saw you with San. You were walking away from me again and I panicked, I thought you would leave and disappear again. I thought I would never see you and our child again, so I said the first thing that came to my mind.

I was out of line and I want to reassure you that I would never even dream about taking you to court. I would never do that to you.

If you decide to raise the baby by yourself, can I ask you for a small favor? I know I’m in no position to ask anything from you but this is the last thing I ask of you if I will never see you again.

Can you please give my shoes to our baby if it’s a boy ? I also bought them a pink pair in case if they turn out to be a girl. And can you please tell them that Daddy loves them?

I love our baby so much and I wish I was a better man so that I could be apart of your guys life.

If you are willing to accept me back into your life and be able to love our child together, then I promise you I’ll be the best father in the whole wide world. I’ll dedicate my whole life to making it up to you and our little angel.

I love you Y/N and I love our little baby too. I know you changed your phone number so I added mine at the bottom of the page in case you decide to talk to me again.

Please take care of yourself and our baby, I love you guys so much.

Sincerely: Kim Hongjoong

She finishes reading the letter, tears on the bridge of falling but she wipes them away. I won't cry anymore she says to herself, placing the letter down and bringing her hands up to her face. Breathing in slowly, she grabs the pair of shoes and slowly caresses them.

Grabbing the other pair, she walks up the stairs and towards the nursery room. Opening the door, she opens up a dresser and places both pair of shoes with the rest that her brother and the other guys have gotten her. Gazing at Hongjoong’s shoes for a couple seconds, she closes the dresser and leans against it.

Caressing her stomach, she starts to talk to her baby something she has started to do once her bump started to show.

“ My beautiful baby, what should mommy do..? Daddy seems like he wants to meet you and even though I know I can take care of you by myself, I don't want you to grow up not knowing your father.” She sighs out, pulling her hair back in frustration.

“ I'll guess all will fall in place later on, just know little bean that mommy loves you with all her heart and soul.”

[pbandjesse]

Happy Thanksgiving everybody. I really really enjoyed my day off. I hope most of you have the day off too. I hope you didn't have to go work somewhere. And if you did I hope that it wasn't too hard.

I really just tried to take as much advantage of today as I could without feeling guilty. That is something I find very very difficult nowadays. My schedule so I don't even hang out where I can take hours and hours to do nothing and not feel bad about it because I have enough hours and getting enough work that I don't have to really worry as much but it's still very hard for me to turn that fear off in my brain. I let myself sleep in really late. I woke up around 10 I just kind of laid in bed for a while. When I did get up I didn't actually get out of bed. I did go feed sweet pea and had some cookies for breakfast but I really just got back in bed. For about an hour until I finish scrolling all the way through Tumblr from last night. And I did feel guilty but I was trying really hard just to have a relaxing morning.

At noon I finally got up. I dyed my hair. It is very green. And I took a long bath. Did a face mask. Shaved my legs for the first time in 2 months. I watched a whole bunch of YouTube while I was in there. And when I got out I went upstairs and took a shower. Washed all the dye out of my hair. I felt a lot better afterwards.

After I got dressed I worked in my studio for a while. I'm almost completely done my diorama for this week. I think it'll be done tomorrow morning I just had to wait for some paint to dry before I could attached a few pieces. But I'm very happy with it. I can't believe the project is going to be over. I mean the diorama making part. The book and the frame for it still need to be made but I'm still really happy. And because of that I rode that wave and took the energy I still had and worked on our next project.

I started on nine different illustrations. We decided to go with wreaths instead of bouquets because I love things in a circle. And besides the first two that we've already figured out just sent me a couple more prompts and I expanded on them. So besides just having the friend zone, and the wish you were dead. We also have one that says so it turns out I'm gay. And one that says I slept with your brother. I sketched out the first two that we had already figured out. I edited down and decided that 7 is going to be the max number of flowers for now. More than that it just seems to get a little jumbled. And it gives me a good editing point. I spent the next couple hours researching and finding definitions. I found a really good website that has like excellent organization and definitions of flowers. So I'm primarily going to be using that one and I'm really happy about the phrases that I've chosen so far. There's a couple that I'm having a little issues with because of the specific word choices I'm using. Like the one where I said that I've slept with your brother I can't find a flower to represent brother. So I'm using a rivalry and affection. I'm hoping that you still got the idea around it. this is really going to be a very text Heavy project. which is where Jess is going to be tackling a lot of this with her hand lettering and typography. I'm excited to see what she comes up with for the best way to explain each piece. When I'm thinking is the illustration with the phrase in the center and then On The Backs the list of the flowers and their definitions. I also think that leads to us being able to do something that is a digital print or a Textile print where we could still do tote bags. Because I think this project is going to be much more monetizable. And I really want to be able to have all of those venues to work around. I think this is going to be a very fun project though.

I finally stopped working around 3:30. I came up here and heated up the leftover stuffing and mashed potatoes that we made the other night. And they came out really good. So I was very happy. It's not as warm up in my living room as it isn't my studio so it wasn't as comfortable for a little while. But I manage to cover the windows and that was enough to settle the heat out in here. I spent some time in the living room with sweet pea. He's been very very affectionate last couple days. And just wants to sit on my lap constantly. He's a very good cat. I eventually moved to my bedroom. I've been watching a lot of history and stuff online and just enjoying my day. Eventually I laid down. I slept for like an hour. And I came back to the living room hang out with my cat. I'm glad I got that nap. And I think I'm going to go and organize my sweaters and get ready for bed. I don't have to work tomorrow. And I don't have to work the next day. Tomorrow I'm looking forward to working on more art. And maybe baking something. But really I just want to have another day where I don't have to do anything and no one expects anything of me. James is coming back from Massachusetts so I'll probably spend the night at his place and we'll celebrate the first day of Christmas together. The countdown begins.

Stay safe tonight everyone. Keep warm.

[runningafterlove]

"Thanks for checking in."

If you and I ever share an office, please don't disrupt me when I'm in the zone. You'll be able to tell because I've suddenly stopped fidgeting (a rare occurrence) and have probably forgotten to drink water for the last hour... or three. The odds are, I'm managing to get a task done I haven't been able to focus on all week, so this is precious time for me.

Which means that this afternoon, when I received a call from an unknown 800-type number half an hour deep into the zone, it would have been much easier for me to ignore it. Or hang up when I did answer, and was met with a few beats of silence. Or absolutely when the person on the other line started walking me, painfully slowly, through student loan repayment options I very much wasn't interested in.

To my genuine surprise, this guy wasn't a spam caller: He was with my loan provider, and had been instructed to... check in with everyone about their repayment plans. (At the time I'm writing this, student loans are supposedly going to become active again in August, after more than a two-year hiatus.)

"Everyone?" I thought, incredulous. But he didn't seem to be kidding, because the poor guy then spent several minutes very awkwardly looking at my comparatively meager, four-digit loan balance and concluding, "Hm, you could do an income-driven repayment plan, but those are usually ten or twenty years, and for bigger loan sums... and oh, I suppose public service loan forgiveness doesn't make sense, either, since that's another ten years, and you'd have to join a qualified organization... um, do you want an income-driven repayment plan...?"

By the grace of God, I'm sure, it wasn't that I was annoyed with him. He was just doing his very unfortunate job. I just knew that I very much did not need any adjustments to my repayment plan, thank you, and politely said as much as soon as the opportunity presented itself.

"Well, thank you for picking up," he said lamely as the call wound down.

"Of course! I appreciate you checking in."

In a way, my response was reflexive. I mean, deep down, I did appreciate that someone had had the idea to touch base with borrowers, even if I didn't particularly need the phone call. But also, I did feel a bit sorry for this guy. I imagined most people hadn't picked up, and plenty of others had probably been less-than-kind. The least I could do was be cheerful.

So sure, random stranger, thanks for checking in.

I don't know what happened between one beat and the next, but it was suddenly like God Himself had breathed life into this guy. Seriously. I could almost hear the wind rushing by on the other side of the call.

"Yeah, I mean, the whole thing has been tough," he said quickly, and if the timbre of his voice wasn't the same, I would've thought I was talking to a different person. I half-wondered if this was the exact moment his late-afternoon coffee had hit. "There's so much happening with loan forgiveness now, and who knows what's going to happen?" he continued. "And like, I paid down all of my loans already, and there's talk of maybe them being forgiven entirely, and it's like, what do you do?"

And that was just the start of it. Suddenly, I was listening to this stranger's animated opinions about student loan forgiveness, and also I think the price of his house sneaked in there at some point? Honestly, he went from zero to a thousand so quickly, I lost parts of it.

I immediately realized what had happened, though. My few words — "Thanks for checking in" — had said a lot more than that. I'd said that I recognized what he had to do and appreciated it. That I was a safe call, and wasn't going to complain or get angry that The Loan Guy was calling. That I understood his work and was going to let him move on with his day. And with that small signal, it was suddenly safe for him to be a bit more of his full self.

We finished the call not long after that; in all, the whole thing took maybe three minutes. But it's been three hours, and I'm still thinking about that phone call. I'm reminded that words have power, and that even a small, eyedropper's worth of kindness can create ripples in someone's day.

Later this evening, I also got an e-mail from someone telling me I have the gift of encouragement. That e-mail maybe took them sixty seconds to send. But I can't stop thinking about that, either; those words are so meaningful, they feel like grabbing an oversized balloon and rocketing off toward a cloud somewhere.

Six words in that e-mail. Four words in my response to the guy on the phone.

I'm starting to think that even small acts of love and kindness aren't so small after all.

It makes me want to throw Love like confetti just to see what happens.

[frogsandfries]

That was disappointing

I'm a little annoyed. It took like half an hour to set up, chase some pests away from and out of my van (I remembered I have bug spray, but I'll probably also get a spray bottle to fill with soapy water and spray outside), move things around, find my tools--

Only to find that I have no blades left in my knife.

Luckily, we get paid tomorrow. It shouldn't be too much to get a couple packs of refills. I have a feeling I'm going to need quite a lot of blades to accomplish reinsulating the floors and walls.

It's funny that I'm out of blades, because I sliced my finger on a used blade earlier. My hands, and actually my ankles, are in terrible condition. I should also grab some coated gloves for work, since I do so much packaging. My ankles itch like hell because I've been wearing long socks. I avoid wearing socks longer than ankle length because ever since I was little, I've hated how the ribbing on higher socks irritated my skin. Unfortunately with all the chaos going on in my van, trying to get everything torn out, and moving it around so much, I've lost track of my socks. Not to mention, because after a pack or two, I always forget my intention to hoard socks, I wear through the socks I have like crazy. I think I literally need a basket of just socks. Like, fifty pairs.

This next couple weeks I think are going to suck especially because I'm going to be focusing on getting stuff put together for the brakes and the ceiling, but I'll probably run out of flooring tasks. But I guess I'm trading my dad my Ford generator for a smaller one, but either way, as long as I have a few gallons of gas, I'll have enough energy to run a heated blanket or my electric space heater. That'll be a relief. I think I can still return this propane heater. That'll be a relief too. And if not, idk. So I guess I may end up having nothing to do, but there's always something to do, and if not, at least I won't be cold. Although I'm kind of eager for it to get cold again. That'll teach these annoying bugs to try to live in my space. Like I've said, come spring, I'll have some screen covers for the windows, and I'll probably also figure something out in case I want to leave the doors open. That will greatly reduce the number of pesky insects bothering me.

I remembered a quilt I have that I wanted to get dry cleaned. I probably have a few more forgotten blankets somewhere. We're approaching the point where I will be taking my possessions off my dad's hands and either find/create homes for stuff, or sell what I can. But I can probably take my time somewhat, since I'm going to create some storage space for my totes. I'm not really good at this whole maximizing storage space thing. Luckily there's the internet. I guess I'm just concerned about making excuses to hold onto stuff I neither need nor use. I don't want to be like my dad, trying to find a way to pull, like two buses and several trailers so I can have heaps of shit with me that for some strange reason, I absolutely can't bear to part with. My studio practice is my priority. Which is ironic, because unless you're a digital artist (like a painter or illustrator), art takes stuff, and stuff takes space. Like even digital sculptors sometimes get their stuff printed so they can really refine it..... Perhaps limited space is incentive to find any and every venue to sell my work, when I resume my studio practice. Which I hope desperately will be before the end of the year. It would be really cool to have this van finished enough to start really making a home of it before the end of the year. That would put my conversion project at about three or four months. Unfortunately pretty much every check till the end of the year is spent. But when I do finish this, I can resume paying my student loans, which will be a huge relief to me.

I'm so nervous to go through my stuff. Trying to sell any of it is probably going to be the most stressful part though...