#ic: Embla | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

writertitan · 9 months

Text

Perennial // Part 3

a/n: i hope everyone's new year has been so lovely! 2024 has got a lil kick to it.

pairing: levi x fem!reader

overall themes: fantasy AU, strangers to lovers, traveling through realms, explicit content

part 3 themes: mental breakdown from reader, hange introduction, some hurt/comfort

read part one here

read part two here

Hange wasted no time in stepping away and kept the door wide open for the two of you to step inside, and you immediately took in your surroundings.

Hange’s house was a disaster. Papers, shoes, empty cartons, and other items were scattered all over the floor. Clothes and quilts were draped over every possible piece of furniture, and candles were everywhere. They’d been lit so many times that pools of hardened wax surrounded the candlesticks, and the wax clung to various things, whatever the candle had been set on, really.

“This place is a mess,” you muttered, and Levi seemed to have the same sentiments.

“Your pigsty is as disgusting as I’ve ever seen it, Four Eyes,” Levi quipped, his monotone voice holding an edge to it. “Don’t you ever clean?”

“I haven’t really had the time. You know I’ve had much bigger fish to fry,” Hange answered, voice bubbly despite Levi’s cutting words.

Then, Hange turned to you, glasses gleaming as they scanned you from head to toe.

“She’s Embla,” Levi said, and Hange’s eyes glittered behind their glasses.

“That’s right,” they breathed, eyes wide like saucers. Then, under their breath, asked, “And how the heck did you get your butt over here?”

“I have no idea how I got here,” you admitted, standing a little straighter under Hange’s scrutiny. “That’s why we’re here. Levi said you might be able to help get me home.”

“Hmm, did he? I don’t know how much help I’ll be. This may be something more up Erwin’s alley,” they said, though they looked completely saddened to have to admit it.

“You’re the goddamned scientist, Hange. Are you really telling me you’re willing to pass this up to Erwin?” Levi said, grey eyes hard as ice. Clearly, there was a lot of complicated history there that was going unspoken between the two of them.

At that, Hange tilted their head, considering. Outside, you could hear the first waves of families coming back to their homes. Young children were laughing, and the adults were chatting animatedly, though you couldn’t make out specifics.

“On second thought, I call dibs! Erwin’s got a brilliant mind, but you won’t have half as much fun with him as you will with me, Embla! It’ll be nice to drop everything and focus on you,” Hange declared.

Levi seemed to loosen up a little, and then he turned to you, arms folded over his chest.

“Any more questions you want to ask, direct them to Hange. Four Eyes is the only person I can think of who asks more questions than you do, and they’ll be happy to be on the receiving end for once.”

You glared at him, not appreciating the little dig, but you did light up a little bit at the thought of someone finally being excited to offer insight into this realm and quell your curiosities.

While Levi went to make some tea, Hange guided you to their study, which was even messier than the living space of their home. Hange merely shoved some stacks of papers and books off a chair for you to sit in, and they immediately grabbed a very big, very old book off a bookshelf behind you, sitting at the desk that sat in the study and opening up to flick through some pages.

“Do you really have the power to send me home? Like, a spell or something?” you asked, hands in your lap.

At that, Hange let out a wild, loud laugh, going as far as slapping their knee.

“Oh, you kill me. I don’t have the power to do anything like that – it’s a wonder you’re even here! You really are our own little Embla. I can certainly try and figure out how to get you back, though. You’ll just have to share your story. Spare me no details, please!”

You were about to, but then you stopped, giving Hange a curious look.

“How come you both refer to me as Embla?” you asked. “I’ve pretty much gotten used to being called that by Levi, but I don’t understand why you both seem to like referring to me as that name so much. I feel like I’m missing out on some inside joke.”

Hange gave a small smile, leaning back in their seat.

“Embla isn’t exactly a name…it’s more of a very old term.”

You suddenly remembered when you’d originally asked Levi, and he’d given that strange response.

It’s what you are.

“What does it mean?” you pressed.

“Despite an entire war happening between humans and Eldians, only a handful of human men ever crossed into our realm. There’s no record of a regular human woman crossing over. That’s what you are. You’re the first woman to step into our realm, the Embla. It’s significant to us, but I promise to tell you more about it some other time, if you’re interested,” Hange explained. “For now, let’s get back to you. Tell me everything. Remember, spare me no details!”

And so you did.

You let it all out, starting with the fact that you were very sad prior to the gas station, and how much your life was changing, and how you’d felt compelled to open that door, and how terrifying it was to suddenly be in a different world and not knowing, and how Levi had helped you and was constantly teetering from being so gentle to entirely made of stone.

It was therapeutic, spilling your guts like this. And Hange was a great listener, despite Levi warning you that they loved asking questions. Not once did they interrupt, and they even seemed completely enraptured in your story.

“Wow,” Hange breathed when you finished. “Quite a journey so far indeed. But I would love for you to go back a little bit. You told me about your friend who was helping you with your move. What was her name again?”

“Oh, Pieck? What about her?” you questioned.

Hange’s eyes flashed, as if recognizing the name.

“How long have you known her?” they asked.

“For a few years now. I met her when I first moved into my apartment. She’s one of my closest friends now,” you answered. “I’m confused on why you’re so curious about her.”

You were starting to feel defensive again, even a little cagey. It was one thing to spill your guts about yourself, it was another thing entirely to speak about someone else, especially a close friend.

Before Hange could even give you an answer, you spoke up again.

“Pieck doesn’t have anything to do with this. I just mentioned her because you said not to spare any details. I don’t want to involve her in this,” you said, trying to keep your voice firm.

“On the contrary, my new friend. She has more to do with this than you think,” Hange said, their tone light despite saying such a controversial thing. “Let’s go meet up with Levi again. I think he needs to hear this, if he hasn’t already. Which I don’t think he has, otherwise he would have brought you over to me a lot sooner.”

Your heart raced in your chest as you followed Hange out of the study and into the living room, where Levi had cleaned up a little bit and was sipping on some tea on a couch you could now see. He looked up from under his lashes when the two of you appeared again, though he didn’t move.

“The Marleyans are good on their word, Levi. Sounds like they made it over to the human realm. Our friend Embla here told me that Pieck Finger is apparently a very good friend,” Hange announced, slumping down into an armchair that had also been cleared of Hange’s mess.

Levi froze then, and you could see that his grip tightened on his mug as he processed the news. His eyes flashed to you, scrutinizing you for a long moment, before he eventually moved to set his mug down on the coffee table in front of the couch, also recently cleaned. Damn, he worked fast. You hadn’t realized he was something of a neat freak.

But Levi’s cleaning abilities weren’t really at the front of your brain.

You were starting to tremble as you struggled to process the possibility of Pieck being involved with Eldians somehow. From the little you managed to gather, it didn’t sound like Levi or Hange were very fond of her.

“Do you know Pieck?” you asked feebly, struggling to keep upright.

Did she really have something to do with your sudden arrival in Eldia? It seemed so impossible. Then again, nothing was impossible anymore.

Instead of Hange answering you, it was Levi.

“She belongs to a faction of Eldians that we call Marleyans,” he said, his eyes trained on you. “About a hundred years ago, some Eldians split off into their own territory, called Marley. They’re a dangerous lot with very dangerous beliefs. I can’t believe they’re actually trying to pull their mission off.”

Mission? What mission? Why were they dangerous? What was so dangerous about your sweet friend Pieck?

You wanted to ask these questions so badly, but they simply wouldn’t come out. You were frozen in place, much like yesterday, but this time without the risk of your very soul ripping itself out of your physical body.

Pieck was Eldian?

You thought back to all your memories with her. She’d never really brought up the myths at all during the time you’d known her. You had to be fair, though; there’d never been an occasion to bring stories of Eldia up. Nowadays, in the human world, Eldia was hardly talked about, save for some podcasts and college essays.

But the most frightening possibility of all was weighing heavy on your heart. Were Hange and Levi insinuating that Pieck had befriended you for a reason? Had your years of friendship been a lie, a farce?

But why? You weren’t Eldian. Why was this happening to you?

“You look a little green,” Hange noted, and you had no response.

Your bottom lip quivered and your knees finally buckled under your weight, sending you to the floor. You curled up into a ball, leaning against a wall for support. Here it was, the mental breakdown you’d been anticipating.

You hid your face in your hands, ashamed at the fact you were acting like this in front of Hange and Levi, but you couldn’t stop even if you tried. A sob escaped and you allowed yourself to let go and let your emotions take over, the sadness unbearable.

Your surroundings disappeared and it was just you in a void, no company other than your fear and misery. It felt like there was no coming back from this. You felt so untethered and couldn’t find it within yourself to cope with all these changes.

All the loss you faced back home had nearly been too much. You’d been hanging by a thread, and nobody was there for you except for Pieck. She’d been the one holding you together.

Those problems had seemed so far away when you’d crossed into the Eldian realm, like a fog had settled in your brain. It had made you focus on the here and now, with only one goal: get back home.

Now, it was like the fog had lifted. You had to deal with your problems in the human realm, as well as your problems in this realm. Maybe they were more enmeshed than you realized.

Pieck wasn’t here to hold you together. Nobody was going to be there for you now. You were alone.

You were all alone.

“Hey.”

You jumped when you heard Levi’s voice and felt a hand on your shoulder, and you were surprised at how quick his actions made the void around you disappear.

You lifted your head and opened your eyes, taking in your surroundings between your ragged breaths.

No vast emptiness or darkness.

Right. You were in Hange’s home, in the living room.

But you were far away from home.

You looked at Levi, expecting to see steely grey eyes and a set jaw, but your heart thudded when you were met with a gentle gaze underneath thin brows that were knit together in concern.

“Just take a deep breath,” he whispered, his hand still on your shoulder. He even gave it a small rub, which admittedly did help loosen you up.

You did as he said, taking a deep but incredibly shaky breath.

“Hold it for a second,” Levi instructed, and you again did as told, holding your breath until Levi eventually instructed to exhale.

The air whooshed out of you, and some of your fears did as well.

“Can you stand?” Levi asked. “Let’s get you to the couch where it’s more comfortable.”

But you were still a trembling mess. You tried to stand but to no avail, eventually dropping back to the ground as another shameful sob left you.

“I can’t,” you choked out, not daring to look at Levi.

“Can’t what? Can’t stand? That’s fine. We’ll just sit here until you can,” Levi said.

True to his word, he got himself situated next to you on the floor, his shoulder bumping against yours.

“Not just about standing,” you eventually said, trying again to express how you felt. “I just…can’t. I can’t deal. I can’t do anything. I think my mind is finally breaking.”

Levi was quiet but stayed where he was, and it meant more to you than you could express to him in your state. You still felt like you were spiraling and there was no one to catch you, but you felt a little better knowing you weren’t totally alone, even if Levi didn’t consider you a friend.

Hange, as you’d come to find out, had gone to the kitchen to make you some supper and some tea, which you ate on the floor with Levi never leaving your side.

“I’ll be in my study,” they said softly, offering a little smile. “I’m going to look through some old texts that may point us in the right direction. I think to figure out how you crossed over to Eldia, we’ll need to figure out how the Marleyans could have crossed over to the human realm. You should rest for the night. You can help me out tomorrow.”

You merely nodded in response and sighed deeply when the door to the study opened and closed, leaving you alone with Levi in the living room. He cleaned up after you were done with supper, the only time he left your side, but he was back in no time.

If you were being honest with yourself, his presence was very calming. Despite him sometimes being a complete dick, he also just felt…safe. And that was something you hadn’t felt in a long, long time.

“Hange has a guest room. It was filthy, but I did my best to clean it up. You can use it and I’ll take the couch,” Levi said. “Think you can stand now that you’ve had some food in you?”

“I think so,” you whispered through the knot in your throat, but your wobbly legs barely worked as you tried to stand on them.

Instead of making a snide remark or getting angry with you, Levi wordlessly took it upon himself to scoop you into his arms, saving you the trouble of having to walk.

The suddenness of it and his gracefulness in lifting you up and carrying you left you breathless. You watched him with wide eyes, lips slightly parted, and you clung to him for dear life.

The window in the guest room was big, silvery moonlight pouring in and illuminating the room. It was a simple room, not much in it but a bed and a wardrobe. As Levi gently set you down on the bed, panic shot through you the moment he tried to pull away.

Your hand shot out to grip his wrist as hard as you could, your eyes pleading as they met Levi’s inquisitive grey ones.

“Please don’t go,” you pleaded with him, voice just above a whisper. “Will you stay?”

“You want me to stay?” he asked, as if not fully comprehending.

“I want you to stay,” you breathed out. To further confirm it, you shifted until there was enough room on the bed for the both of you, an invitation for Levi to lie down with you. It may have been a trick of the moonlight, but you were certain that he looked a little nervous.

“Are you afraid I’m gonna compromise your purity or something?” you joked, offering a weak smile.

Levi gave you a deadpan stare but was more confident as he moved to lie down next to you on the bed.

“Seems like you’re feeling better if you’ve got jokes,” he remarked, his eyes staring pointedly at the ceiling.

But you were looking at him and you didn’t take your eyes off him.

“Thank you for staying,” you whispered. “Thank you for helping me.”

At that, Levi turned to look at you, scanning over your face.

“I’m sorry about Pieck,” he said.

Your heart sank at the thought of her, but you shook your head lightly, pushing her to the back of your mind once more.

“I’m sorry you’re stuck with me,” you sighed, tears welling in your eyes. When you felt them sting at your eyes, you turned your head away from Levi, staring at the ceiling like he had been doing before.

“Emb. Look at me.”

You turned your head again to look at him, a little embarrassed.

“It’s okay to cry and to be upset,” Levi reminded you. “Don’t try and hide it from me. Don’t hide it from anyone.”

“I’m weak,” you lamented, but Levi gave you a stern look.

“That isn’t weakness,” he said.

“I bet you never get emotional like this,” you countered, but Levi’s face remained composed.

“Stop comparing yourself. Just let yourself be who you are,” he said.

The words struck a chord in you.

It was true, you were constantly comparing yourself, looking for yourself in other people. Nobody had ever clocked that about you so fast, and what’s more, called you out on it. The urge to cry had left you, tears drying up, and you even felt a little elated.

You couldn’t help yourself. In one quick motion, you were nestled up against Levi’s side, smiling a little at how it had made him tense up. But he didn’t pull away.

That feeling of safety overwhelmed you now. The closer you were to Levi, the safer you felt.

You shifted a bit to get comfortable and some hair fell over your eyes, but you didn’t mind. Fed and exhausted from the day’s events, you felt sleep coming quick.

“Good night, Levi,” you yawned, eyes closing.

The last thing you registered was the sensation of Levi’s fingertips brushing the hair from your eyes.

----------

You awoke the next morning to the sound of people outside, pieces of your dream still flitting through your mind.

With a big yawn and an even bigger stretch of your limbs, you felt a little more awake. Turning to the window, you could see that sunrise was imminent, but only tiny rays of sunlight had begun to peak over the horizon. Crowds of villagers were hurrying along the streets, most likely to get to their temple where they’d be resting for the day.

As you stretched again, it was then that you realized Levi wasn’t around. Strange, the way your heart sank. Part of you really believed he would stay the whole night with you.

You shook those thoughts out of your head and straightened yourself out, making a mental note to ask Hange where you could clean yourself up. As you left the guestroom, the smell of eggs and toasted bread filled the air, and your stomach twisted with hunger.

“Smells good,” you complimented to no one in particular, heading over to the kitchen to see none other than Levi in the kitchen, frying up another batch of eggs.

“Levi?” you asked incredulously.

“Good morning,” he said flatly, his eyes on the pan full of eggs. “Hange’s still asleep. How many eggs do you want?”

“Two. No, three!” you said, excited at the prospect of real food. Your snack stash was getting low, and you hadn’t really been fond of the food Levi had given you in his little mountain hideout.

Levi slid some eggs onto a plate for you, and before you could thank him, you jumped at a loud screech that filled the air. Moments later, Hange was racing into the kitchen, hair a mess and glasses half off their face, like you’d seen yesterday.

“Man, oh man, do I smell eggs?!” they exclaimed.

Levi clicked his tongue in dismay as Hange barreled into him and scooped up most of the eggs to pile onto their plate, only leaving a couple left.

“You’re so disgusting,” Levi sneered, but he didn’t retaliate any further. He took the remaining eggs and some toast, sitting across from you at the table while Hange chose to sit right next to you.

“How’d you sleep?” Hange asked you between bites of their breakfast, and you gave a polite smile, sneaking a glance at Levi.

“Very well, thanks,” you answered, tearing a piece of toast to munch on. “Hange, do you not celebrate the Three Nights?”

“I see Levi’s been telling you about our customs! Very moving,” Hange cackled, fixing their glasses before turning to look at you. “Most Eldians celebrate the Three Nights, it’s true, but us Scouts have too much on our plate right now to be able to take the time to alter our schedules like that.”

Scouts.

Levi had mentioned something about Scouts before, when you’d moved through the verse mirror together.

It can be taxing to move through the verse mirror for even the most experienced Scout.

“Scouts?” you asked, but you caught the way Levi was glaring at Hange as you asked, like they’d divulged too much information.

Why did he want to keep you in the dark so badly?

Hange looked like they wanted to say more, but one look at Levi told them not to.

“We’ll talk about it another time,” they told you dismissively, then strategically changed the subject. “I may as well have been partaking in the celebration last night, though. I hardly got any sleep while I was looking through all my textbooks to figure out how you could have gotten here. My hypothesis of the Marleyan Warriors targeting you specifically in the human realm is getting stronger and stronger the more I research.”

Marleyan Warriors.

Warriors and Scouts. There had to be some correlation.

Was Levi a Scout?

You tried to sneak a glance at him, briefly watching as he took a sip of his tea, and you looked away before he could catch you watching him.

Your thoughts made their way to Pieck, and it made your heart hurt. Was she a Warrior?

And why would she be targeting you?

You were slowly losing your appetite the more you danced around these thoughts. You shook your head slightly, brows furrowed, as if the physical shaking would remove the thoughts from your head.

You could also feel Levi’s eyes on you as you did so, but this time you chose to ignore him and forced yourself to take another bite of food.

Hange didn’t wait for anyone else to speak up and continued talking.

“After breakfast let’s go back to my study, Embla. I want as much background on your history with Pieck as you can give me. I’m almost sure that there’s going to be pieces to the puzzle sprinkled in, things that you, as a human, probably didn’t think twice about.”

The thought of hashing out your past, knowing you’d be bringing up so much of your pain, made you physically ill.

“Okay,” you whispered, eyes cast down at your eggs.

You swallowed thickly, pushing those dark thoughts back, and focused on the now uncomfortable task of finishing your plate.

Again, you felt those piercing grey eyes on you, but you didn’t meet his gaze. As you finished your breakfast and brought your plate to the kitchen sink, you turned to Hange, who was doing the same.

“Do you have a bathroom I could use? I really need to take a bath and get cleaned up,” you said, tugging at your clothes. “And maybe I could get some laundry done so I can wash these clothes?”

“Let me show you to the bathroom!” Hange said, tugging you along.

You walked past the guestroom and study, all the way down the hall until you reached the door to the bathroom, which Hange swung open.

“Go ahead and get cleaned up in there. There are already some charms in place to keep the water hot and whatnot. Set your clothes outside the door and I’ll work on those for you!” they said. “They’ll be spotless by the time you’re done.”

“Oh, Hange, no, you don’t have to wash my clothes—” you started, but Hange let out a cackle, head thrown back as they laughed.

“I forget how hard things can be for humans sometimes. You guys really don’t have a speck of magic left in your realm, huh? Clean clothes are a simple charm, too. Most cleaning can be done that way,” they explained.

From behind Hange, Levi appeared, his brow raised in annoyance.

“Exactly. Which is why it boggles the mind that you choose to live like a pig,” he said to Hange, arms folded over his chest. “Maybe take a bath after Embla is done.”

Hange rolled their eyes and waved their hand in Levi’s face, clearly so used to his moods that they never once looked perturbed at his attitude.

“Have fun in there!” they told you, slamming the door in your face.

You sighed and peeled off your clothes, catching a glance of yourself in the mirror as you did so.

“Boy, I look rough,” you complained quietly, leaning in closer to inspect yourself even more.

Your hair was a mess, almost as messy as Hange’s, and your skin was dull and clearly in need of moisturizing. A whiff under your armpit made you scrunch up your nose, and you hurriedly folded up your clothes and opened the door just enough to slide the pile outside before closing it again and locking it.

The pipes were very old school, but you figured them out soon enough and watched the water fill up the tub, steam rising from the tub and soothing you.

Eventually it was filled enough to get in, and you fiddled with the pipes again until the water stopped spouting from the spigot.

An audible moan escaped you as you lowered yourself into the bath, your body relaxing with the warm water. Hange had a nice collection of soaps and bath salts and oils, and you helped yourself to them, dropping some salts and oils in while you decided which soap you were going to use. You used a small, rolled up towel as a guard between your neck and the edge of the tub so you could get comfortable, and as soon as you got situated, you closed your eyes and let yourself relax. There were no thoughts allowed – you just wanted to let yourself feel the warmth of the bathwater, feel the way the salts moved in the bath, smell the lovely scents of the bath oils, and forego everything else.

You’d put in a few drops of lavender oil, and it calmed you down heavily, nearly lulling you back to sleep. Snippets of the dream you’d had came back, and you allowed yourself to indulge in those false memories, mostly because Levi had been the center character in your dream.

You’d fallen asleep easily last night, comforted by his warmth and firm body next to yours. The scent of him had permeated your dreams, and you’d dreamed of him in a forest of fir trees as it rained down on the two of you. Such a lush, fresh scent. In your dream, he’d looked sad, and he was standing far away from you. And you remembered calling out to him, hand outstretched, unable to touch him. It all felt so familiar.

A knock on the door made you slowly open your eyes, half expecting it to be Levi. The thought made your heart skip a beat and your body heat up despite the already warm bath. Just the image of him coming in and raking his eyes over your bare body was enough to make you squirm a little.

You smiled a little when you heard Hange’s voice on the other side of the door, ignoring the disappointment that overtook your heart.

“Your clothes are clean!” they announced, and that was that.

Charms worked fast and well, it seemed. You remembered yesterday, how much cleaner the house looked after spending just a little bit of time in Hange’s study. You’d surmised that Levi was just a quick and diligent cleaner, but you had failed to remember just how different this realm was compared to yours.

There was magic and sorcery and lush landscapes and strange but delightful people. It surprised you just how wrong the myths were. Eldians looked just like humans. They had their own customs and their own stories and their own lives. Many stories said they were shifters and could shift into Titan form at will, but those same stories made it sound like Eldians were constantly in Titan form, just waiting for the opportunity to catch a lost human and eat them for supper. The entire time you’d been in this world which, granted, hadn’t been that long, you hadn’t felt the immobilizing fear that human myths often talked about. There was nothing sinister here. How ironic. The place where you should have felt cruelty and loss and fear was not at all what it seemed, and the place you should have felt safe and at peace was the place that held all that cruelty and malice. The human world had a lot of work to do.

Maybe it was a mistake to go back.

No.

You couldn’t think like that. There was still so much to do at home. There was still so much grief to process and so many situations to resolve. There was still so much life to live there.

And one thing seemed to ring true. In your world, there was no magic. In this world, magic was rampant. Eldians had surely taken it all and never given any back.

The thought soured your mood a little bit. But hell, it kept your bath warm while you sulked.

-----

By the time you got out, got dressed, and made yourself presentable, it was late morning. Levi was nowhere to be found and Hange was in their study, perusing through books.

“Where’s Levi?” you asked, sitting in the chair you’d sat in last time.

“He took off to get something is what he said,” Hange said distractedly, their eyes never leaving the page they were reading. “He’s always so vague. Getting him to reveal details about anything is like pulling teeth.”

“I thought it was just me,” you grumbled, but felt relief at the thought Levi was like this with everyone.

Hange bookmarked their page and shut their book, which closed with a heavy thud, and then their attention was on you at once.

“I’m sorry to have to ask this of you, but we need to delve into your human life in more detail, especially around Pieck. It sounds like a sore subject, but we can take breaks,” Hange said.

You thought back to yesterday, the way you were spiraling, and the thought of risking it again today was horrific. But Hange was right, it needed to be done. If you wanted to go home, it needed to be done. You couldn’t be scared of things anymore.

“I’ll guide you through it,” Hange promised. “Let’s start with how you met. You mentioned it was a few years back? At your…what did you call it?”

“Apartment,” you clarified, your gaze on the wall, but staring at nothing. In your mind’s eye, you were looking at the drawing of the flower on the top of your door. “I was just barely moving in, and she was thinking about moving into that same building. We became fast friends and she joked that meeting me that day sealed the deal for her. She moved in with…she had – she had a roommate.”

This was where it was going to get really hard.

You swallowed thickly, feeling that knot start to form in your throat.

Would you even be able to get all of this out? It was still so fresh. Even just the thought of having to say it all out loud had your heart sputtering and your mind spinning. Tears stung at your eyes as you tried to think of the best way to say everything.

“We can take a break, Embla…,” Hange offered, their eyes full of concern, but you shook your head firmly, your hands gripping the edge of your seat.

“No,” you breathed out, “I have to admit it eventually. I have to remind myself that it’s real.”

Hange waited patiently, still as a statue as you collected yourself.

“Pieck moved in with a roommate. One of her closest friends she’s known since childhood. His name was Porco, but he went by Pock. I became friends with him, too, and then we started hanging out with one of his best friends…Reiner.”

The knot in your throat was loosening up. Suddenly, it felt like you couldn’t get it out fast enough. You were so terrified that you wouldn’t physically be able to even say the words, but now it was like you had to say it all, and tell someone, anyone, about your anguish.

“Reiner and I started dating,” you revealed. “We were all inseparable. Reiner and I were actually going to move in together. I lived alone, so he was going to move in with me, I should say. We were always all hanging out at my apartment…”

You took in a shaky breath, feeling that void start to form around you again. You tried to push it back.

“He died, Hange. Reiner died.”

You didn’t know if you’d ever actually said it out loud.

Reiner was dead.

Tears were coming in full force now. Squeezing your eyes shut, you struggled to piece together the rest of the story for her.

“I lost everything when he died. I just couldn’t function anymore. I couldn’t go to work anymore, and I had to move out of that apartment because it held too much of him in there. I had to leave. I just moved out of that place, right before I got here. I was going to start fresh, somewhere new. It’s been nearly eight months and I just feel…lost,” you finished, hanging your head.

It was quiet for a few minutes. As much as it had hurt to reveal such a painful recent history, it also felt strangely good.

Finally, you opened your eyes to meet Hange’s gaze. They held a very gentle look in their eyes and gave you a small smile when you looked at them, but there was something beyond that gentleness.

Hange knew you had noticed it and spoke up before you could ask any questions.

“Emb…I know all of them. Pieck, Pock, Reiner…they’re all Marleyans,” they revealed. “They’ve all been missing for over three years now.”

At first, it was hard to process what Hange was saying. It didn’t sound real.

“All of them?” you choked out, your entire body slowly filling with dread.

“Yes. All of them. Even Reiner,” Hange whispered, though it sounded as though they really didn’t want to say it. “And we believe they all hold the Power of the Titan.”

There it was again, that strange phrase. Power of the Titan. Try as you might, you couldn’t recall ever hearing that in your human myths.

But that wasn’t what was concerning you right now.

All you could think about was Reiner.

Reiner had been Eldian. Marleyan. He wasn’t human. He had lied to you, and Pieck and Pock had lied, too. They were liars and they had picked you for whatever reason. They were all a part of something that you hadn’t been privy to. It all felt like some big joke suddenly.

“Why?” you asked, mostly to yourself, but Hange hummed and shook their head.

“I hate to say it, I really do, because I know they’re your friends. But they sought you out for a reason. And we have to get to the bottom of it,” they said.

You knew Hange was right. Logically, it was a solid point of reasoning. Still, those feelings of denial dredged up in you, and you almost wanted to get angry.

Hange was wrong. They had to be wrong. Your friends wouldn’t betray you like this.

You thought back to all your memories together. They had all been there for you in ways nobody else ever had been.

You thought back to Pieck making you spill your wine on your carpet when she hugged you too hard.

And Pock, drawing that stupid flower on your doorframe because he didn’t know how to draw mistletoe and he was hellbent on making you and Reiner finally kiss each other, before you got together.

And Reiner.

Your bottom lip trembled.

Reiner, buying your groceries for you whenever you were too tired.

Reiner, orchestrating your first ever surprise birthday party. Nobody had ever done that for you before.

Reiner, the man who died two weeks before moving in with you.

Reiner, the man who had been lying to you.

“I think I need a break,” you admitted, wiping furiously at your eyes.

“I’ll go make you some smokeroot tea,” Hange offered, but you were out of the study before they could even finish their sentence.

You stalked back to the guestroom, throwing the door open and immediately sinking into the bed. Your entire body was trembling and you feared you were on the verge of another breakdown.

“I’m so weak,” you mumbled to yourself, crossing your arms over your torso, as if hugging yourself.

You hated being like this. It often seemed like you felt all these emotions and there was nowhere to put them. You just had to feel them and juggle them all at once.

You didn’t even notice when the door opened. Only when you heard the footsteps did you tense up, thinking it was Hange with some tea.

But when someone sat at the edge of the bed, you finally lifted your head to take a peek, surprised to see Levi there.

“Hange told me,” was all he said, and you let your tears flow again.

“I don’t want it to be true,” you confessed, peering at Levi through your tear-soaked lashes.

He said nothing, but he kept his gaze on you, a mask of calm over his face.

“I’m sorry,” he finally said, and you just shrugged, sitting up a bit.

You remembered how safe you’d felt with him last night, the closer you were to him.

And again, without thinking it through, you pressed yourself into his side, your arms wrapping around him.

You thought it would be strange, allowing yourself to be close to another man after Reiner’s death, even in a non-romantic sense, but that hadn’t really been the case with Levi. He had helped you so much, and you had never felt like you were in danger with him around. Plus, you were just so drawn to him. You had been since the moment you’d met him. You weren’t expecting Levi to offer any sort of comfort, other than letting you cry on him, but you were pleasantly surprised to feel his arm wrap around your shoulders, keeping you close to him.

The tears dried up a little quicker after that, but even after, you stayed like that with Levi. You listened to the steady beat of his heart, basked in his surprising warmth, and let yourself bask in the smell of him, that soothing scent of rainy pines and tea leaves.

Part of you felt it was wrong to be like this with Levi, for many reasons. He wasn’t even human, for starters, he was Eldian. You were still distraught over the death of the man you’d loved. The two of you hardly knew each other. So why did it feel so natural?

But it couldn’t be romantic feelings. That would be insanity.

Yet, the thought of it not being romantic also made you sad.

“I’m a mess,” you muttered under your breath, not really thinking Levi could hear you.

“You’re not,” he murmured back.

In a bout of courage, you reached up to grab his hand that dangled off your shoulder. He didn’t pull away.

------------

Hange hadn’t needed any more information from you after you’d spilled your guts about what had been happening to you back in the human world.

After Levi had comforted you, the two of you had left the guestroom to have some tea and let Hange do some digging.

“Where did you go off to today?” you asked Levi, outstretched on Hange’s sofa.

“Had to get something,” was his reply, which made you a little upset. Always so cagey.

“Get what?”

Levi shot you an annoyed look over his mug, and you could tell he was debating whether or not to even answer you.

“Will you ever stop asking questions?” he grumbled.

“Will you ever start answering them?” you shot back.

His mood swings were starting to give you whiplash. He was so caring and helpful, but also a complete dick sometimes.

Levi gave you a hard stare and you met it as best as you can, lifting your chin a little, and he finally grunted and put his mug down.

“I went to grab some things to work a new charm,” he revealed. “And before you ask, I’m not going to tell you what the charm is. Hange’s got their suspicions about something, and so I went and grabbed things I knew we would need.”

You pouted a little but made do with his half-answer, taking another sip of your tea.

“Is it going to take me home?” you asked. “Today?”

Levi couldn’t answer, however. Hange was bounding into the living room before you could really process their quickness, interrupting you and Levi, and you could see a glint in their eyes.

“I think I’m finally getting somewhere!” they exclaimed, hands in the air.

“Care to share?” Levi asked, an eyebrow raised.

Hange took their sweet time, though, choosing to pour themselves a mug of tea and plop down on a chair before answering.

“I believe they’re using a very old conjuring technique,” they said, the steam of their tea fogging up their glasses. “This won’t make much sense to you, Emb, but Levi, follow along. The Marleyans are practicing sigillary.”

Si-what-ary?

You honed in on Levi’s reaction, the way he tensed up, a storm cloud rolling over his eyes.

You were honestly getting frustrated. Here you were, divulging all sorts of information, and you weren’t getting any back. It was very kind of Hange and Levi to be helping you, a strange human in their realm, but you were getting a little fed up with being so in the dark.

“Damn it,” Levi sighed. “I guess we should have guessed that.”

“Can someone please fill me in?” you cut in, nearly slamming your mug down on the coffee table. “I don’t know if you guys are trying to protect me from something or what, but I need to know what this is all about. What exactly did I accidentally get involved in?”

Levi and Hange exchanged glances, but you sighed impatiently, looking between the two of them.

“Please tell me,” you begged, sitting up straight. “I need to know what’s going on.”

“Alright,” Hange conceded. “I guess that’s fair. You’ll need to know as much as you can, just in case.”

You nodded once, indicating that you were ready, all while ignoring the glare Levi shot Hange's way.

“We mentioned that some Eldians created their own sect, the Marleyans. Well, Marley was founded upon a very specific belief, that belief being that Ymir, and especially her daughters, should not have sealed the gates to the human world. This is because they believe that we not only left behind some magic in the human realm, but also that…” Hange took a breath before continuing. “Marleyans believe that Eldians can turn into mortals, and mortals can turn into Eldians. It’s very powerful magic and Eldians believe it is impossible. Really, the only human to have ever become Eldian is Ymir, and that was purely an accident. The reason all of this is important background is because that was also around the last time sigillary was practiced.”

You blinked a few times, trying to absorb what Hange had just said.

Ymir becoming an Eldian, the first Titan, was an accident?

“W-what’s sigillary?” you stammered out. It was better to push through and get as much insight as possible before beginning your real questions.

“Sigillary is what humans used to harness their magic. It’s what turned Ymir into the first Titan and Eldian,” Hange said.

Levi’s eyes were on you, and it felt like they were boring a hole into you.

“Levi mentioned that humans have been…retelling our history,” Hange spoke up after a minute, cocking their head to the side. “I would love to know just how skewed it’s gotten, but that will be for another time. Right now, we need to focus on just how the hell the Warriors were able to find the ancient sigils and master them. I’m really doubting that they have that type of power, even with all of them combined.”

“You forget how many of them stole the Power of the Titan,” Levi reminded them, and you furrowed your brows.

“What do you mean the Marleyans stole the Power of the Titan?” you asked. “And what is the Power of the Titan? You two have said it before, but I don’t understand. I thought that all Eldians were Titans.”

At that, Hange burst into laughter, grabbing their sides as they threw their head back and cackled.

“Sounds like our history is really skewed for the humans!” they snickered. “Oh, Emb. Thanks. I needed that.”

To your surprise, Levi spoke up.

“All Eldians have the…necessary genetics, I suppose, to turn into Titans,” he said. “However, not all Eldians have the Power of the Titan.

“The Power is passed down. Do you remember what I said about the Three Nights, how we celebrate Ymir’s daughters? That’s because they all inherited Ymir’s Titan power, and they inherited it in gruesome ways. You can only inherit Titan abilities in certain ways, and they’re not pretty. In total, there are nine Eldians with inherited Titans. The only way to inherit those powers is for the one possessing the Titan to die and pass it on to their successor. When the Marleyans rebelled, they took six Eldians with the Power of the Titan and they killed them and took the Power for themselves.”

“How do those powers get inherited?” you asked, though you dreaded the answer. From the dark looks in Hange and Levi’s eyes, you knew you would likely regret asking.

“That’s where your stories ring a little true,” Levi said solemnly. “Ymir’s daughters had to eat her. Their mother died right before the height of the war began between humans and Eldians, and Ymir was the only one with the Power of the Titan. They knew that the true advantage would be becoming Titans themselves. The eldest, Maria, went first. She spent the first night with her dead mother. On the second night, it was Rose who took over. Then, on the final night, it was Sina, the youngest, who finished Ymir off.”

You felt sick to your stomach.

“But why?” you choked out, afraid you might gag. “How did they know that eating their own mother was going to let them inherit the Power of the Titan?”

“Because of sigillary,” Levi answered plainly. The story didn’t faze him at all. It was just part of his history. “When Ymir was made into a Titan, it was done by humans who performed a type of magic that would etch sigils into her bones and her blood. By consuming her body, her daughters were able to have those sigils in their bodies. Once you have them in you, you can’t reverse the process. It’s a kind of magic that is so intense, it has spanned millennia.”

“And now people have to eat each other to get those powers?” you breathed out, horrified.

“Thankfully that barbaric practice started and ended with the daughters of Ymir,” Levi said. “We’ll never forget their sacrifice, of course, but we’re not going to grind up bones and drink blood and chew on ligaments.”

Now you were really feeling queasy. Why did he have to be so blunt about it?

“You look green, Embla,” Hange commented. “Not a fan of cannibalism?”

“Is anyone?” you countered, but there was no bite in your tone. You were just trying to keep yourself from throwing up.

You shut your eyes to stop the room from spinning, referencing what Levi and Hange were telling you to compare with what you thought you knew.

“I thought Ymir made a deal with the devil,” you squeaked. “That’s what we’ve always been told. And we were told there were originally 10 Titans.”

“Humans are all imbeciles,” Levi snapped.

“Levi,” Hange chided.

You took deep breaths, the nausea slowly fading, and when you felt better, you opened your eyes again.

The room wasn’t spinning anymore, and both Levi and Hange had their eyes on you. It was then that you saw how Eldian they were. So used to their history, so much older than you. Though they looked young, appearing only a little older than you, you remembered that Levi was at least a couple hundred years old. And now, you could almost see it. You saw it behind his eyes, how he’d seen so much and had been through so much. Now, even with lively Hange, you could see the years in their eyes as well. You wondered briefly if they’d been there when this story had begun.

It was strange, knowing that the myths you’d been told were really just myths, not founded on much truth at all, other than the fact that the Eldian realm existed and some of the characters were right. But Hange was correct in that you couldn’t dwell on that too much right now. It would have to wait.

“I’m guessing sigillary isn’t just used to turn people into Titans. What have you been able to figure out?” you asked.

“For one thing, I’m not sure Eldians even have the resources to master it. Well, I wasn’t sure, until we had our little chat. Sigillary was often used to transform things, or create things, like with Ymir. There is much speculation even in Eldia how the portals between the human realm and the Eldian realm came to be. Maybe it was due to sigils? And many of the texts referencing sigillary suggest that it can only be done in the human realm. Though it’s our realm that has all the magic, the sigillary performed on Ymir happened in the human realm and has lasted for two thousand years here in our world. I’m guessing the fact that these sigils exist within Eldians with inherited Titans, in the Eldian realm, give those sigils even more longevity than, say, the human realm.”

That made some sense. You nodded to show that you were following along.

“Some portals to the human realm still exist, though, right?” you asked, and Hange nodded.

“Yes. In Eldia, there’s really only one portal and it’s heavily guarded and warded. Eldians don’t really visit humans anymore and it’s extremely difficult to get approval to cross into your realm anyway. However, I have a hunch that Marleyans founded Marley where they did because there was a portal there, too,” they said.

There was so much history to wrap your brain around.

“When was Marley founded?” you asked.

“It was over two hundred years ago now,” Hange answered. “They had a rebellion and took six of our Titans, then retreated to some unused land. Marley is heavily guarded and warded as well, it may as well be a separate realm entirely. Not even the Scouts can push through. There’s been a lot of unrest ever since.”

The Scouts.

“Are you a Scout, Hange?” you asked, eyes lighting up as you turned to Levi. “Are you, Levi?”

“We are! The Scout Regiment is one of our military factions. I’m a section commander,” Hange said proudly.

Levi kept quiet, but your curiosity outweighed your slight intimidation.

“Are you a commander, Levi?” you pressed, but he glowered at you.

It would make sense. He held authority, and you felt that he could take control of any situation. Plus, he was kind of scary sometimes.

“He’s a captain,” Hange answered for him.

“Captain Levi,” you said with a grin. You expected him to double down on his glaring but, to your delight, he merely rolled his eyes and looked away.

“He must like you,” Hange continued, a sly grin on their face. “When people get on his nerves, he whacks ‘em.”

As if to show the sincerity of their words, you watched as Levi, quick as a cat, swatted Hange over the head and elicited a yelp from them. You pursed your lips together to hide your laugh, hoping to escape Hange’s fate.

But, as Levi left the room, grumbling to himself, Hange hanging off their armchair and whining, you let out a little snicker.

***

The rest of the day passed you by, with Levi working on something with whatever he’d gotten today, and Hange back in their study.

You were largely left to your own devices, unless Hange had a question for you, but you filled the day looking at some history books that Hange let you borrow.

What you uncovered was gruesome and fascinating.

There had definitely been a time when magic was rampant in the human realm, but it was hard to harness, and most humans didn’t have what it took to handle and control it. However, eventually certain humans were able to learn how to use magic and passed that knowledge down to their descendants. They found that magic had its own language, and thus sigillary was born. Entire lineages were born to be dedicated to witchcraft, mostly using magic to become healers or alchemists, but their all-encompassing term was “witches”.

Eventually, the humans who didn’t have these capabilities grew wary of those who did, and some even sought that power for themselves. One in particular, a King Fritz, eagerly and brutally captured witches, and tried to take their magic from them. Ymir was among one of those witches.

King Fritz wasn’t a name you were familiar with, so it was safe to say that he had been lost to time or that humans had purposely rewritten the stories to exclude the evildoings of a particular human being. Even in Eldian texts, there wasn’t a lot of background on him. There wasn’t much history available on Ymir’s early life anymore either, but it was heavily assumed that she was a “runt” in her family, the weakest of her lineage. Her own family passed her up to King Fritz when he attacked her village. She had been abandoned – betrayed – by everyone she’d ever loved.

That part struck you hard, and you felt a heaviness in your heart as you learned about Ymir’s cruel fate. You had to stop reading for a while, choosing instead to sit with your sympathy. It was strange, feeling bad for a character that had been humanity’s antagonist for so long. But now, knowing her story, about to uncover the whole truth, you had never related to a person more.

Images of Pieck, Pock, and Reiner filled your head, and you clenched your jaw as your heart clenched in your chest. Had they really betrayed you like this? What was it about you that made them target you? That was the biggest mystery of all. You weren’t anything special. You were just some anxiety-ridden girl who spooked too easy and couldn’t even kill a spider on her own.

There was something you were missing, some piece of the puzzle you hadn’t found yet. It felt like it was at the tip of your tongue, right in your peripheral vision, but it was escaping you, always just out of reach. If you could just get to the bottom of the reason they’d found you and latched onto you, part of you just knew that you could get the whole picture.

***

Before the sun started to set, you decided to go for a walk. It wasn’t fun being cooped up in a house all day, and you were starting to get antsy. The idea of taking a little stroll and exploring didn’t seem so scary, not when you knew the village would still be empty and that the likelihood of running into a Titan was apparently slimmer than you had originally been made to believe.

Not wanting to disturb Hange and Levi, you left the house as quietly as you could, walking down the street and making mental notes so you wouldn’t get lost. You also needed to remember to start heading back before nightfall, as to not attract unwanted attention. That seemed like a far off worry, though.

Ragako was small but peaceful and well-structured; much of the architecture reminded you of Germanic influences. The streets were desolate and it was exceedingly quiet, but it wasn’t eerie or lonely at all. Maybe there was some sort of charm over the village, but it felt full of love.

You did a lot of window shopping, peering into bakery shops and clothing boutiques, enthralled by what you saw. The style of clothing was old-fashioned, so different from what you were used to. You looked down at your outfit, noting how plain and modern it was, just jeans and a long-sleeved shirt, and you frowned a little bit. Maybe this was why Eldians were able to clock you as a human right away. Maybe Hange and Levi could score you some new clothes, if it came down to it and you’d be here for a while.

You stopped for a moment, mulling over the thought. What if you were here for a while? What if you couldn’t make it back ever? Surprisingly, the idea wasn’t as anxiety-inducing as you would have thought it’d be. It still wasn’t lost on you that you hadn’t gone fully insane upon learning where you were; really, the only time you’d lost your mind was having to think about your painful past, and the fears associated with that. Traveling across realms was apparently easier than dealing with your normal human experiences. And, before all this, you’d been on the cusp of starting fresh back home anyway. Perhaps this was the universe’s funny way of granting you that wish.

Definitely something to think about. But you’d have shove those thoughts back for later and let yourself just be right now.

Looking up to the sky, you admired the deep blue of it, only some wisps of clouds blotting it, then caught how low the sun was. It was going to dip into the horizon soon, which meant you needed to start heading back.

As you turned around, however, you jumped a little when you realized you weren’t alone. Levi was making his way towards you, his eyes hard as steel and his stride purposeful.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he called out to you.

“I just wanted to get out of the house and stretch my legs,” you said, shrinking back. Was it really so bad to do that?

“You should have at least let me know before you snuck out, you little shit. You have Hange freaked out thinking you somehow transported back to your own world. Don’t you ever use your brain?” Levi scolded.

“Nobody’s even in town! I thought it’d be the safest time to go for a walk,” you argued, walking towards him. As the two of you met in the middle, Levi’s hand shot out at you to grab your elbow. He was going to actually drag you back to Hange’s place.

You struggled in his grip, but he was exceptionally strong, and you eventually relented and let him guide you back, both of you clearly angry.

As soon as you crossed the threshold into Hange’s house, you tore away from him and took a breath as Hange rushed to you, eyes wild.

“Emb! I was so scared we’d lost you! Not to be selfish, but I didn’t want you going home without solving this crazy mystery of ours!” they exclaimed.

As angry at Levi as you were, you did feel bad for making Hange worry.

“Sorry, Hange. I just wanted to go outside for a while,” you apologized, then turned to glare at Levi over your shoulder. “I didn’t realize I would be reprimanded for it.”

“Insolent brat,” Levi grunted, his grey eyes hard as metal.

You clenched your hands into fists and turned back to Hange, giving them a nod.

“Excuse me, Hange,” you said hurredly, skirting past them to head to the guestroom.

You slammed the door shut behind you, heart pounding. Angry tears welled up in your eyes as you sat by the window, the world outside blurry as you cried.

Stupid Levi. He didn’t need to be so mean like that and make you feel like some bratty kid. You wiped your eyes, clearing your vision so you could take a look outside and calm yourself.

The sun was setting quickly, that golden glow of sunset drenching the village. The sky that had once been a deep blue was now bleeding with rich hues of orange, scarlet, and rose. It was beautiful, but you could hardly admire it.

Again, you thought of Ymir and related strongly to her, going so far as to equate your situation with being trapped and imprisoned like she had been. It wasn’t nearly the same, you knew that deep down, but you had little to no control over your situation, just like Ymir. You were powerless right now. At least Levi was no King Fritz.

To distract yourself and make yourself calm down, you thought back to the other things you’d learned, especially about King Fritz and Ymir’s transformation.

King Fritz had learned a lot about sigillary from his brutal conquest for magic and believed that he could etch some very powerful sigils into Ymir’s deepest parts, her blood and her bones, and then consume those parts of her. He hadn’t killed every witch that had crossed his path – he had actually enslaved some of them in order to help him understand and practice sigils and ordered them to be the ones to cast this powerful spell on Ymir. It surprised you and disgusted you to think of how far he would go for power, but humans were still like that to this day. The lengths a person would go for even the tiniest possibility of gaining power made you sick.

But you were snapped out of your thoughts when the door to the guestroom opened. You kept your face neutral, expecting to see Hange, but you did a double take when you saw who it really was.

Levi.

#levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman fanfiction #levi ackerman fic #levi fanfiction #attack on titan fanfiction #aot fanfiction #snk fanfiction

25 notes · View notes