Mending Shadows // Chapter 5
Summary:
Y/N was a simple Scavenger of Lucis, until meeting a deadly blow at the hands of an infected creature. At the crossroads of death, they are found by Niflheim’s cryptic Chancellor with his own agenda. Now bonded to Ardyn Izunia, and tossed into the world of Niflheim, Y/N struggles to cope with their new life as an Imperial Icon all the while battling their feelings toward their fate and that of Ardyn’s.
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Ardyn stretched his arms and yawned. He was leaning up against the front of the Vixen while casting a scrutinizing glare toward the gas meter. The sound of the ocean near the road, and the distinct calls of birds swayed against his ears. He watched as the pump slowly continued to fill the car, and he hummed in thought. The price of fuel these days was abysmal. Then again, the Lucian economy had taken quite a hit due to Niflheim’s war.
“Suppose I can’t blame the royal family for wanting to rob everyone dry,” Ardyn chuckled, amused with himself. The total came to around 2,500 gil. Barely a dent in his pocketbooks, yet he could imagine how trifling that would have been to a small family. Choosing between food and fuel was a product of the modern world that Ardyn didn’t care for. Gone were the days of living within one’s means, and trading goods for other products. His mind started to wander, recalling simpler times and pleasures. As much as Ardyn adored his car and modern world decadence, nothing could ever beat the freedom of riding on the back of either a horse or chocobo from the days of yore. He smiled thoughtfully to himself, remembering the first time he rode such beasts. He shook his head and grimaced when he lingered for too long.
“Sentiment will get you nowhere, old boy.” He muttered to himself with contention.
Ardyn’s eyes peered over to the market next to the fuel station, and he debated with himself about getting a snack and a drink. Furrowing his brows, Ardyn let out the most dramatic sigh one could muster and waltzed to the entrance. There were present-day indulgences that he was addicted to, and he both loathed and prided himself on the fact.
Once inside, Ardyn wasted no effort in creeping around at every item, even down to the little knick-knacks that tourists often bought for keepsakes. He raised a brow at a row of snow globes next to a bag of chips. Each piece contained the Crown City’s iconic towers of the citadel. The temptation to break them all itched at Ardyn’s spine. His eyes cast a glance at the cashier who was counting money in the till. It would be so easy to play the scenario off as a clumsy mistake. Alas, he reminded himself he came here for one thing and one thing only, and sighed in defeat.
After meandering, Ardyn smiled big when he saw row upon row of Ebony in the back fridge. His amber eyes carded over all the black cans with awe when he approached the glass doors. Ever since Accordo put an embargo on Niflheim, he had been months without the brand. Ardyn wasn’t normally one that enjoyed coffee. Caffeine had an unpleasant effect on his mind. With there already being thousands of other occupants behind the wheel, the last thing Ardyn needed was his brain frying under the weight of daemonic energy, and having a high. Ebony was the one brand he made an exception for.
Spotting an unsweetened version of the brand, Ardyn opened up the glass door and crouched down. His fingertips touched the cool texture of the can. The charismatic smile he carried into the market faded.
In what felt like a bad flash from a camera, Ardyn witnessed his fingers touching the chilled texture of a corpse. He saw a woman with her jaw nearly cleaved off. Two men nearby were mangled in a similar fashion. A feeling of dread jolted his nerves.
Ardyn blinked several times, and the can of Ebony came back into view. He paused. His fingertips lingered upon the can, hesitant to pick the beverage up. The deep glare he cast toward the fridge could’ve cut through steel.
In all his years of acting upon the scourge’s influence, and taking the souls of the unwilling into himself, Ardyn believed he’d never get spooked when it came to absorbing the memories of his trespassers. He had performed the action so many times, that it became second nature. This new development troubled him a great deal.
Y/N’s face came to mind. A deep exhale left Ardyn’s nostrils. His eyes closed.
Smoke and chemical grime burned the inside of Ardyn’s nose. Wheezing, he took several steps back from the epicenter of the explosion. His right hand covered his lower abdomen. Blood oozed from a horizontal slash by a sword that cut through his clothes like butter. He gasped in an agonizing groan, feeling a wave of nausea hit. A throbbing sting coming from Ardyn’s neck had him shaking his head back and forth every so often in a vain attempt to tamper down the sensation.
Fingers trembling, Ardyn felt his vision begin to fade in and out. He nearly buckled under his own weight. This shouldn’t have been happening. He was immortal. The godforsaken Adagium. Physical pain was something he was more than accustomed to after 2,000 years of solitude, and then additional years of experimentation. He had been shot, stabbed, burned, peeled, and maimed without so much of an expression. Yet here he was near weeping while desperately trying to find a way out of the flames and debris.
As Ardyn stumbled, slouching against a wall nearby, he let out a dry heave upon feeling a heavy object hit the middle of his back. He fell forward and caught himself from tumbling at the last second. Ardyn turned around to face his attacker and ducked his head when a long spear attempted to strike his face. This dance played out for a time. His black and yellow eyes flared with vengeful contempt as he inhumanly screeched at the foe. The bottom end of the spear struck his jaw, and the impact sent him flying. Ardyn rolled over a few times before his back slammed against a wall of glass. Shards cascaded around him.
Weakly, Ardyn groaned while attempting to bring himself back to his feet. He panted heavily while blood and scourge leaked from his nose and mouth. He gargled on his own bile, feeling the tip of the spear press firmly to his throat. The owner of the weapon had venom in their eyes. The likes of which even made Ardyn’s daemonic expression look almost human in vulnerability. He had “died” before when people attempted to strike him down. The fear of death was lost on him, but at this moment he felt a dread that should never have gained prospect.
“It seems the Gods have favored our side today, Chancellor!” The MedZin guard proclaimed in an exhaustive yell. He prepared to put his full weight against the spear so that the blade would slice Ardyn’s neck and spine in half.
A bellowing screech emerged from the flames as did Y/N’s body, jumping into the air and landing on top of the MedZin guard’s back. Y/N’s legs locked around the guard’s waist, and sickle claws began to rip and maim at the back of the man’s skull. The guard fell backward in a desperate attempt to fling off Y/N, and their legs around his abdomen tightened like that of a snake fully dedicated to squeezing the life out of its prey.
Ardyn’s eyes widened as he witnessed the altercation. The carnage happened so fast, that he barely registered Y/N being thrown off after the guard had pierced them through several times with the spear and flung them. The yellow in his eyes constricted as he let out a scream; finding motivation to shadow step and deliver the killing blow to the guard by striking their abdomen so hard, that bones cracked.
Spurting out blood and spit, the guard looked up at Ardyn fading eyes, and somehow through adrenaline or pure spite, the guard managed to throw his final words out to Eos.
“You may live today, Adagium, but the world will know who and what you are soon. You---can’t keep hiding as Niflheim’s Chancellor---may Ifrit lay waste to----” The guard’s skull cracked and split open upon Ardyn’s left foot kicking downward in a fell swoop. He dug his heel into the cavity for good measure, sneering while his teeth grit.
“Pathetic waste, the lot of you,” Ardyn muttered bitterly. His breath became ragged as more smoke began to pool into the heart of the MedZin labs. By his calculation, Ardyn figured he only had ten minutes to get out before being consumed in flames.
Turning on his heel after removing his boot from the guard's entrails, he started to limp away, leaving Y/N behind. It was only when he got to the entryway did he stop. His head turned to the side and his eyes lingered on Y/N’s semi-lifeless form. Leaving Y/N to die in the flames of destruction was part of his plan. He’d literally kill two birds with one stone. The information MedZin had stolen about the scourge would perish and he’d keep his promise to Y/N with a quick death. The cherry on top of it all was that Y/N would be framed for Ardyn’s trespasses and crimes in the aftermath. The public would never know of his instigation and true identity. Once the bodies were found, and the evidence planted at the stronghold connected Y/N to both locations, any proof of Ardyn’s interference, of his godforsaken mission, would burn and die with them.
It was as perfect as a bow on top of an extravagant gift, yet Ardyn hesitated to accept it.
Through the bond of the scourge, he felt Y/N clinging to life. For someone that wanted to die so badly, their instincts to hold out were powerful. Ardyn could feel their blood running hot and cold as if it was happening in his own body. His conscience was almost made up until he heard it. The faint murmur of a plead left Y/N’s mouth.
He made a fist so tight that his fingers trembled from the pressure.
Ardyn opened his eyes and he was staring again at the can of Ebony. A morose contemplation traversed his tired gaze. He grabbed a can for himself and hesitated before taking another. Holding onto them with one arm, he closed the fridge door with his free hand and made his way to the cashier to purchase.
Two hours later, the Vixen was parked in a rather large area inland from the coast. From the distance, Ardyn could make out a smaller imperial airship. Several soldiers greeted him with a wave from afar, and he returned the gesture. Nonchalantly, Ardyn exited the vehicle and approached his fellow countrymen with a lopsided smile.
“My, my, aren’t I popular these days?” Ardyn said mischievously. He saw one of the younger men of the group swallow nervously and chuckled. “I do hope that your crossover to Lucis wasn’t turbulent!”
“The travel was not an issue, excellency,” The commander of the group, a man no later than fifty-five spoke up. “We made sure to keep tracking and communications to a minimum so Lucis wouldn’t detect our presence with their magic.”
Ardyn nodded. “About how much longer do you believe that’ll last?”
“Chief Besithia determined forty-eight hours. That being said, the ship is ready for departure at your command, Chancellor. We can have your vehicle and belongings out of here in ten minutes.”
“That won’t be necessary,” Ardyn shook his head and waved the commander off.
“Sir, Chief Besithia mentioned that time was of the essence. We are in enemy territory and understand the great risk involved in assisting this mission. For your safety, I’d like to implore you to consider departing now.”
“You need not remind me,” Ardyn sharply replied. His gaze was so stern that the old man apologetically gave a bow with his head, not feeling up to snuff challenging the Chancellor himself.
“I am awaiting a guest to join us on the journey home,” Ardyn began. He kept his tone neutral, so as to not convey whatever ties he had to Y/N. “I anticipate their arrival will come at dawn. Word of mouth says we should have a fog coming in at that time. What better way to sneak past the Lucian Armada than to take cover in a hazy shroud?”
“I suppose you are correct,” The commander muttered. He cleared his throat. “In any case, we would be honored to get the Vixen on board along with whatever you have.”
“Sounds riveting,” Ardyn mused. He playfully tossed his keys to a young soldier nearby, resisting a smirk when said soldier almost tumbled over himself trying to catch them.
While walking past the group, and heading for the dock of the ship, Ardyn hollered. “If you fine gentlemen need me, I will be in the ship's quarters having a discussion with Chief Besithia on the network!”
“Yes sir!”
Once aboard, a sigh of contentment left Ardyn while he had a look around before traversing to the main quarters. These newer models were less like mazes inside, and Ardyn mentally patted himself on the back for convincing Verstael to invest in a better layout. It didn’t take long before he was alone in a wide room, with windows looking outward toward the land.
Ardyn stopped for a moment to take in the scenery and his brows furrowed into a glare. It wouldn’t be long now until the rich and fertile lands of Lucis would be replaced with the desolate snowscapes that notoriously covered Niflheim. Although he held great contempt in his heart toward the Lucian people and the kingdom as a whole, Ardyn would be lying to himself if he didn’t feel somewhat homesick for his former country. He was going to miss the view.
Sighing deeply through his nose, Ardyn shook his head. He ventured over to a desk with a computer and began setting it up so he could have a face-to-face conversation with his colleague.
“I take it that the war room meeting hasn’t been postponed?” Ardyn made a face as Verstael tiredly rolled his eyes and nodded on the other end of the screen.
“Unfortunately for the two of us, Aldercapt wishes for the meeting to commence when you are verified as healthy to continue to work,” Verstael bitterly stated. “There is also another trivial matter that you and I must contend with upon your return.”
“Oh?” Ardyn perked his eyebrows up. For the first time in the last two hours of conversing with Verstael over the Imperial Network, he felt legitimately curious. “Now don’t leave me on a cliffhanger! I do so hate it when you put on dramatic pauses for effect.”
Verstael’s dry lips curved into a smirk. “You’re lucky I don’t have the strength to call you a hypocrite right now. Alas, I don’t think you will be singing a happy tune to this matter. Aldercapt wishes to proceed with the empire's name day, and all the festivities that it entails.”
“You can’t be serious?” Ardyn’s bluntly said while his brows knitted into a glare. “Not that we don’t have the coin for such extravagance, but this will put a damper on the weaponry budget. Not to mention compensation for security will be tight.”
“There is also the issue of the Tenebrae Ambassadors,” Verstael continued. “Aldercapt invited them over for the ceremonies in the spirit of ‘showing off the splendors of the empire’.”
“More like showing off how much of Tenebrae’s resources we are wasting,” Ardyn snorted. He sighed, rubbing the spot between his eyebrows. “Looks like I have my work cut out for me when I return home. So many fires to put out, so little time.”
“Speaking of putting out a fire,” Verstael began. “You said you were combing over an idea. What has become of that?”
Ardyn remained neutral, even as he heard the eagerness in Verstael’s cadence. “I find myself ruminating on a few concepts. I haven’t made up my mind yet, sad to say. Alas, considering the fact the empire needs to make a good impression on our esteemed allies of Tenebrae, I believe this Lucian souvenir I picked up may come in handy for such an occasion!"
Verstael raised a brow, understanding Ardyn's playful hint and the dangerous implications it entailed. “Not that I don’t believe your twisted mind has conjured up a fool proof plot, but if you recall, you know the penalty of an uninvited Lucian setting foot on Niflheim soil while the empire is at war.”
“I’m well aware,” Ardyn said as a matter of fact and smiled. “However, I’m the Chancellor at the end of the day. I’m confident I can get Aldercapt to lift the penalty just this once for my generous offer.”
“Consider me intrigued,” Verstael chuckled darkly. “How exactly do you intend to use this Lucian?”
“It’s rather simple, I--”
Before Ardyn could finish his sentence, the airship began to violently shake. Through the metallic walls, Ardyn could hear the echoes of explosions going off.
“What in the six hells is happening?!” Verstael yelled from the other end of the screen.
“Obviously, it appears I am under attack,” Ardyn sarcastically quipped.
“Gods, it better not be crownsguard reinforcements!” Verstael’s tone slightly quivered with fear.
“I don’t believe that’s the case,” Ardyn reassured. “If the guard knew of my whereabouts, my being and the ship would’ve been nuked to kingdom come by now.”
“Whoever they are, don’t let them take you into custody!”
Another quake came, nearly knocking both Ardyn and the computer over as the ship tilted more to the left. He gathered himself, remaining composed while an array of chaotic yells and gunfire began to sound off from afar.
“I do so hate to drop our conversation, but duty calls!” Ardyn chimed and ended the call.
Alarms and sirens began to go off within the ship, and a stoic voice on the overhead intercom began to alert everyone on board:
Under attack. Under attack. The East side of the ship is under attack. Reinforcements sent. Under attack.
Ardyn immediately sprinted out of the room and bounded for the airship dock, wanting to assess for himself how dire the situation was. It wasn’t long before he arrived and received an answer in the form of dodging a round of bullets at the last second.
Ardyn sprinted and on his third step, his body molded into a dark mist that transcended over and through supplies and goods. Time came to a grinding halt, but for Ardyn's victims, he might as well been the only living creature that was moving abnormally fast. The yellows of his eyes turned a fiery orange while he zeroed in on several of the intruders.
Jumping into the air, Ardyn summoned his red blade Raksasha, and his assault began. The intruders had no idea what had hit them until their own bodies had tumbled to the floor. Not long after, Ardyn stood over a pile of corpses. Glaring begrudgingly, he crouched down and began to rummage through the clothes of one of his victims. His right hand gripped upon the shoulder pad on the soldier’s left side, and he sneered at the red patch.
“MedZin,” Ardyn muttered and sighed. He thought of Y/N for a split second. “It seems you and I weren’t as thorough as we thought.”
“Chancellor!”
Ardyn immediately turned his head to the sound. He stood up as soon as the commander came into his proximity and quickly waved him down, seeing the fear in his eyes.
“I’m quite fine,” Ardyn firmly stated. “I want a status report, quickly!”
“Y-yes sir!” The commander gestured for Ardyn to follow him outside of the ship.
Another round of explosives went off, making both men nearly lose their footing.
“They came from the North and then started to shoot off explosions to our East wing! Team three and Team ninety-nine are outside, fending them off! There’s two small aircraft! I think we can take them out once they get in range!”
“How many would you estimate are trying to kill us?” Ardyn mused.
“A dozen or so!”
“Concentrate on taking the carriers down. I’ll deal with whoever survives the aftermath!”
The playful yet sinister end of Ardyn’s remark had the commander freeze in his steps, taken back by the sudden change in demeanor. Before he could stop Ardyn, and beckon him to stay close for his safety, the latter pushed past and took off into the fray of battle.
Rushing by several infantrymen firing off explosives and other advanced weaponry, Ardyn kept his eyes on the sky. Sure enough, there were two carriers as the old timer said. One to his left and right, respectfully.
With an eager gaze, like that of a predatory animal watching for weak prey to fall, Ardyn observed the ships go down in a dazzling display of fire and grime after a sixth round of explosives were launched from the imperial troops.
The left carrier was the first to perish, it's pilot unable to dodge a rocket that destroyed its entire front. The ship sunk to Eos like a heavy rock to a large body of water. The right craft met a similar fate. The underbelly of that ship was torn apart by magitek weaponry, a powerful ray that emitted a concentrated amount of energy from various crystals that had been corrupted via the scourge. The carrier spun around several times in freefall before it exploded violently against the soil of Lucis.
Ardyn smirked with pride, getting to see one of his creations in action. He briefly thought back to a time when Verstael had opposed such an invention.
“I told that senile fool it was a grand idea!” Ardyn laughed. His moment of fame was cut short when he zeroed in on survivors making their way out of the debris from the left carrier. He could practically smell the fear emitting off of men and women who scrambled away from the wrecks.
“Oh, we’re going to have some fun!” Ardyn menacingly hissed. He once more shadow-stepped at a lightning pace and drew his red sword out of thin air. With a violent twist of his body, Ardyn began his onslaught.
Blade against blade, and pained howls against steel erupted throughout the battlefield. There was a point in time when Ardyn could scarcely hear the crackling roar of the fires nearby, too focused on the carnage at hand to take in how the environment was becoming hostile. Every so often, he had become burnt from debris that was being utilized as weaponry from the MedZin operatives. The pain was more than enough to keep fueling Ardyn’s anger toward his enemies.
Years of knowledge in fighting that Ardyn had under his belt from 2,000 years ago, on top of memories from the souls of the damned came to his aid while he made quick work of the intruders. He was an efficient killer, and Ardyn relished in the cold fact of the matter. The ego stroke began to awaken another beast inside himself. The scourge hummed in his body with a violent urge to consume. The sensation was so powerful, even Ardyn felt tempted to bend to its will as he approached who would be his twelfth victim.
Ardyn stabbed Rakshasa through the woman’s back, yanking her body upward in the process. She slid down the sword to where Ardyn's left palm could touch her shoulder.
“Let’s get a peek of what’s in your head!” Ardyn menacingly whispered.
A dark cloud of purples and blacks began to dance through his fingertips, and particles of light pooled from the wound he had inflicted. Little by little, Ardyn could feel the woman’s essence, her very life, become integrated with his. His whole body felt like a straw that was sucking up raw nectar, and his brain flooded with visions.
Euphoria in the kill began to sway Ardyn while he grinned, and just as he reached a precipice where the transfer was almost complete, a sudden wave of nausea hit him. He stumbled backward, pulling Raksasha out of the woman’s spine. Her body dropped to the grass, and Ardyn fell to his knees. He began to throw up. Scourge and bile desecrated the soil in front of him. Vertigo began to plague Ardyn’s peripheral soon after.
So lost in his misery, Ardyn didn’t notice a MedZin soldier taking aim for his head, having snuck up behind to take advantage of Ardyn’s moment of weakness. The soldier raised his long sword, intending to impale him until a thundering sound radiated in the air. The soldier dropped his weapon. His body collapsed, having been shot in the head from afar.
Ardyn jerked his head around. With astonishment, he observed the body at his side and gave a hesitant slap to it. When no reaction had come, he sighed in relief.
“Well played, friend. You almost had the jump on me!” Ardyn mused mockingly. He grimaced and lurched forward.
An electric shock cascaded down Ardyn’s nerves, causing his fingertips and spine to ache. His right hand instinctively reached for his neck, near the site where he had been injected all that time ago when he ransacked Outpost 98. He closed his eyes, remembering all too well what it felt like when his body short-circuited, and he lost control of himself.
Ardyn wasn’t one to feel dread, much less become scared. With 2,000 years to his name, and having been imprisoned in darkness, little could deter a creature such as himself from seeking his ends. Right now though, he’d be lying to himself if he wasn’t frightened. This wasn’t normal by any stretch. It became abundantly clear that something was wrong, but he didn’t have enough information to aid his woes.
Shouting from the distance began to grow, snapping Ardyn out of his thoughts. He squinted his eyes to get a better look at the horizon. Niflheim soldiers were coming to his aid. For now, his personal concerns needed to take a backseat.
Ardyn quickly wiped away at his mouth and internally worked on silencing the scourge. The last thing Ardyn needed, was to be discovered with his mask off. No one could know he was Adagium. It was years too soon for such a thing.
“Chancellor! Chancellor Izunia! Are you alright!?”
“You can silence your ruckus! I’m over here!” Ardyn hollered back, getting onto his feet to wave down his lessers. He coughed a few times and walked toward the large group after dismissing Rakshasa back into whatever plane of existence it dwelled within.
The commander came running up, panting heavily while he gestured for ground troops to scout the area for survivors.
“Are you hurt, sir?”
“No,” Ardyn shook his head and huffed. “At least, not in the way one would assume. I’m quite winded, however.”
“Sir, you should go back to the ship. Let us handle whoever is left. I don’t imagine there are many now,” The commander then saw the burns and winced on Ardyn’s behalf. “You need rest and to get those patched up.”
As much as he remained compelled to continue the hunt, Ardyn knew it would be foolish considering the odd symptoms at play in his body.
“I suppose I can concede this time around,” Ardyn murmured. He coughed again. “What are our losses?”
“We lost eight men thus far, and we are out of energy cores for most of our weaponry. The ship wasn’t well stocked, to begin with. As for the carrier itself, I have team ninety-nine working on repairs as we speak. From the damages, she might not be able to fly until evening tomorrow.”
Ardyn tilted his head back and sighed in defeat. “Grand of a time as any I suppose.”
“I’ve taken the liberty to notify Chief Besithia of the situation after the carriers had been shot down. He wanted me to relay a message to you to take shelter near an inn not far North. The owner is a Niflheim immigrant who will keep quiet about us being in Lucian territory. Two soldiers are to be assigned to you for protection, while the rest of us work on getting the ship back up and running. After we’ve combed through and determined the enemy is defeated, we’ll ransack their aircraft for anything that might speed up the process.”
“You talk too much and too fast,” Ardyn irately stated. He raised a brow at the commander, his gaze sizing him up.
“My apologies, I am only being thorough, sir. For everyone’s sake.”
Ardyn made a fist with his right hand until his knuckles turned white. As much as he was bothered by being commanded, he didn’t feel it quite right to take his anger out on the old man. Not when Verstael was using him as a puppet to bark orders.
“I will seek shelter at the inn at once,” Ardyn gave a half bow with his head out of respect toward the commander. “My phone will be on my person. I expect concise updates on the repairs while I recoup.”
“Yes sir, and what of your guest?”
Y/N...Ardyn froze for a moment, having nearly forgotten about them given the chaos. He made a face and waved off the concern. “They know to arrive here. When they come, give them the coordinates to the inn and I’ll take it from there. Escort them if necessary.”
“Yes sir!”
Ardyn began his descent back toward the airship. Every so often, he wiped away the sweat across his brow while deep in thought.
“They should all be dead,” Ardyn muttered to himself. He was so sure of it, that his mind had difficulty letting the truth of the matter sink in: that MedZin was after him. "Everything was destroyed. The whole facility burned to rubble. How could I overlook a mistake such as this?"
Such questions plagued Ardyn as did his thoughts about what MedZin had injected into his body the day Y/N and he attacked. Whatever the serum was, it greatly hindered his dark powers. Speaking of which, Ardyn felt depleted in a manner of speaking. The unlimited reservoir of power at his disposal was no longer tapped into. He had a limit, like any other mortal, and it both worried and angered him.
Feeding off Y/N got him somewhat back to normal, but Ardyn realistically wondered how much longer that would last. He then burdened himself with the painful truth, that he would have to confide in Verstael about the injection. Ardyn dreaded that as much as he dreaded eating cloned meat when Aldercapt ordered it for the imperials of the court. He didn’t like it one bit.
“I seem to be on a losing streak these days,” Ardyn mused with contempt, making his way to the dock to check on the Vixen to make sure her integrity wasn’t damaged.
Twenty minutes into inspection, Ardyn checked near the tailpipe of the car and raised a brow when he came upon a peculiar object. Bending down, he crouched and pulled at the flat round piece. A grimace left him, feeling the object had been stuck on there quite tightly with a paste of some sort. A few tugs later, and he had it off.
Ardyn carefully blew away the dust on the item. There were two lights at the top, blinking yellow and red, and a list of serial numbers toward the bottom. It didn’t take long before he realized it was a tracking device.
“Gods be damned,” Ardyn sneered as he broke the piece with his bare hand, putting all of his frustration into it. Once it cracked in half, he turned his head when a Niflheim soldier approached.
“Do you need help sir?”
“As a matter of fact I do,” Ardyn gestured for the soldier to have his left palm up and then placed the tracker into his possession. “Decipher any information left on this device, and report your findings.”
“You got it, Chancellor!” The soldier sounded a little too enthusiastic for Ardyn’s liking, but he applauded the boy’s efforts.
After the soldier departed to check on the ship elsewhere, Ardyn worriedly looked out the dock entrance. His eyes combed the road, leading back to Galdin Quay. A heaviness in his heart came and went, wondering if Y/N was fairing better than he was.
Coming around to the drivers side of the Vixen, Ardyn grabbed the paper bag that had the two cans of Ebony: one for himself, and one for Y/N. He then sought out his escorts for the inn.
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Snow White and the 1026 Dwarfs
Snow White woke up in the strangest little bed!
She'd happened upon the small, cozy house deep in the woods, found nobody at home, and promptly crashed in the first bed she'd spotted. Sleep claimed her then, dragging her away to a place of relative peace and calm... carefully letting her ignore how tiny all the furnishings were, how oddly low were the ceilings and fixtures.
And now, the next morning! What odd little men surrounded her! Normally she'd be alarmed by close proximity to so many strangers, but the events of the past day had granted her an oddly calm outlook on life. Nothing much rattled her anymore.
Snow White blinked sleepily, yawned, and stretched. The men watched her every movement, transfixed.
"Do you talk?" She asked experimentally.
One older man -- tiny, rotund, and wiser than the rest with a long white beard -- glanced around at the others and nodded. He adjusted his spectacles and stepped forward.
"I'm Doc," he explained with a jolly chuckle. "And these are my friends: Smarmy, Ragey, Explainy, Glossy, Pookie, Pesty, Grippy, Inebriated, Teary, Swampy, Piggy, Catty, Hitler, Stroky, Zombie, Mooky, Tandy, Fakey, Twinky, Biggie, Munchy, Stingy, Intrepid, Gabby, Shitsnacks, Packy, Growly, Sleazy, Pervy, Ookey, Maggy, Slither, Effy, Jelly, Freezy, Snuggy, Dippy, Toothy, Banger, Loathsome, Smelly, Loofa, Eerie, Jenny, Zoidberg, Fatty, Porkey, Cutty, Brazen, Krabby, Outlandish, Irony, Queasey, Juicy, Ugly, Wonky, Appealing, Lectory, Terminator, Off-putting, Shorty, Irregular, Hissy, Silky, Hardy, Whacker, Ginny, Pammy, Lovely, Chasey, Numby, Abba, Unmentionable, Phreaky, Gawkey, Spooly, Dairy, Flamy, Pickley, Jammy, Croaky, Diehardy, Sordid, Boasty, Rumbly, Klepto, Siggy, Serendipity, Touchy, Thrifty, Cassy, Noxy, Woggly, Gaggy, Beauty, Bluto, Easty, Larky, Sleepy, Hottie, Cloggy, Muffy, Busty, Flouncy, Oly, Wordy, Floopy, Bently, Winky, Rampy, Twitty, Rutty, Witchy, Boxey, Sexy, Sicky, Blazey, Googly, Chemistry, Humpy, Bloggy, Palsey, Tranny, Nipply, Creepy, Jumpy, Weekly, Dready, Burny, Stjnky, Potty, Poofey, Affable, Sippy, Yeachy, Volatile, Jacky, Pokey, Tumbly, Stinky, Hippie, Restless, Frosty, Slicey, Grabby, Bashful, Milky, Lenny, Slick, Losty, Dramatic, Subliminal, Peeny, Inserty, Botfly, Whipser, Edgy, Strutty, Gamey, Goaty, Slammy, Hickey, Murdery, Lickey, Quiet, Bastard, Sprainy, Griefy, Freeky, Snicky, Snobby, Destructive, Pagey, Hefty, Freepy, Dreamy, Tinny, Jaunty, Larpy, Yelpy, Pumpy, Techey, Wackey, Krappy, Porky, Banny, Lawdy, Spikey, Noxious, Robby, Forky, Woeful, Cringley, Roasty, Grumpy, Queefy, Slabby, Qwerty, Oaky, Rusty, Donner, Bitey, Ernie, Bratty, Reddy, Alky, Pearly, Tooky, Clingy, Rapey, Contagious, Wheezy, Toasty, Nosy, Hungry, Cupid, Woofy, Wicked, Kitty, Slappy, Silly, Oogly, Quagmire, Chumpy, Spocky, Secretive, Yukku, Checky, Goofy, Porney, Seepy, Angry, Junkie, Dumpy, Cagey, Handy, Ghastly, Bunny, Narky, Crummy, Tipsey, Wizzy, Peachy, Splashy, Frighty, Towley, Rangey, Twitchy, Birdy, Blotty, Wheely, Tweety, Mealy, Tazey, Boozy, Mopey, Icky, Hacky, Mental, Pasty, Guffy, Yelly, Picky, Lucy, Bloody, Doomy, Balky, Sharky, Moby, Tastey, Clunky, Happy, Nancy, Fry, Puke, Zany, Sweaty, Pimply, Poppy, Testy, Classy, Scratchy, Righty, Smegma, Pissy, Schmutzy, Proxy, Preachy, Prey, Baddy, Westy, Clumsey, Jumbo, Pawy, Jaundiced, Masturbatey, Spasms, Wiley, Pukey, Havok, Puffy, Startled, Prissy, Snoopy, Ruffian, Iggy, Acid-Refluxy, Nifty, Dressy, Gomer, Flabby, Deadly, Smalls, Neurotic, Hideous, Shecky, Blondy, Skunky, Yummy, Victor, Jewy, Arny, Neuty, Biff, Toady, Humpty, Moogly, Grassy, Corny, Feisty, Angsty, Creamy, Techy, Lopsey, Queeny, Stretchy, Mo, Spanks, Regretful, Snarfly, Underpants, Ready, Lanky, Splenda, Naggy, Faily, Yakky, Sizzly, Jokey, Pacey, Spooey, Traumatic, Screamy, Tucker, Pimpy, Beady, Roughy, Snoozy, Roofy, Quimbly, Brewy, Gumby, Pointy, Hooky, Writey, Shimmy, Bulgy, Nootsy, Bingey, Mooby, Dunky, Sully, Neurtsy, Woey, Jiggy, Prietsly, Terry, Forgetful, Comfy, Romney, Campy, Northy, Giggidy, Dipsy, Beefy, Poledancey, Apocalypse, Woozy, Evil, Talky, Vapid, Freaky, Whackey, Inserto, Bleaty, Chufty, Scuzzy, Crispy, Tepid, Snazzy, Sqealy, Grotty, Jimmy, Nanny, Godlike, Furious, Booty, Wolfy, Cumpy, Toily, Crumbly, Biggo, Boggly, Ironic, Belchy, Flaily, Killy, Puggy, Wendy, Gloomy, Verbosity, Listless, Twisty, Waffles, Archy, Wheatley, Iconic, Klassy, Pauley, Bruiser, Prefunctory, Ruffy, Poopy, Zuckerman, Snappy, Oily, Shakes, Yiles, Priggy, Airy, Godly, Hotty, Lassy, Fudgy, Wooky, Bursty, Leggy, Soggy, Soulful, Walky, Unkillable, Bindlestiff, Pathy, Soothy, Lolzy, Spiffy, Trekky, Toothsome, Goldy, Daffy, Yucky, Pappy, Snowy, Dancy, Sappy, Lana, Cursey, Drippy, Cackles, Fuzzy, Malignant, Ghosty, Quality, Hurty, Schulty, Fizzy, Toughy, Tweaky, Starry, Jigsaw, Piney, Magnanimous, Softy, Denty, Damned, Intolerable, Dodgey, Spazzy, Ropey, Socky, Moomoo, Sammy, Dampy, Cracky, Zippy, Whorey, Likey, Wooy, Spewy, Farty, Perthy, Kinky, Peely, Wetone, Squeaky, Frenzy, Noisy, Danny, Flippy, Fartsy, Gravy, Barfy, Loopy, Regular, Nedly, Quacky, Sloppy, Snooki, Crampy, Wetty, Appealy, Boofy, Snotty, Kwazy, Nutty, Regal, Zappy, Candy, Scary, Shakey, Yeasty, Trampy, Runty, Turgid, Icey, Dusty, Adolph, Pocky, Shitty, Nasty, Cranny, Mommy, Monkey, Prickley, Lumpy, Snippy, Quaffy, Wendigo, Opulent, Henny, Prancer, Pervo, Pippy, Rotund, Cavey, Dazzle, Clooney, Rumpy, Pudgy, Spunky, Ralfy, Questy, Dwarfy, Limpy, Rugby, Junky, Insideous, Assy, Hizzy, Hotsy, Honey, Punky, Blingy, Spinny, Nicky, Spindly, Lacey, Banshee, Feely, Baldy, Rabbity, Lunky, Swarley, Damply, Whiley, Splattery, Squirty, Alcoholic, Foggy, Denny, Berty, Zinny, Mammy, Delicious, Dropsey, Vixen, Beary, Beatlejuice, Knobby, Loudly, Meaty, Teethy, Drinky, Woz, Wanky, Scuffy, Swimmy, Gummy, Posse, Milly, Wallop, Pouty, Ruby, Chicken, Poofy, Funny, Smugly, Spinry, Grimey, Ripley, Savory, Schmuckey, Stainy, Quivery, Pooly, Droopy, Lappy, Herpy, Able, Goosey, Dapper, Beasty, Dazy, Giggy, Drowsy, Lowly, Coolie, Slutty, Burby, Nippy, Firey, Sniffy, Glassy, Factory, Cheney, Slidey, Chippy, Kludgy, Orly, Meany, Kreepy, Pooley, Ninja, Whizzy, Victim, Iffy, Saggy, Kenny, Floppy, Nabby, Sickley, Groggy, Liquidity, Hussy, Jinxy, Kewpie, Lampy, Saxy, Dexter, Doleful, Dandy, Peggy, Mooey, Slashy, Drunkey, Homo, Rolly, Hoggly, Healy, Salty, Gropey, Ghouley, Whirley, Faggy, Weedy, Teaser, Dasher, Ego, Artsy, Quippy, Insanity, Beastly, Chappy, Sparky, Zesty, Tasty, Bumpy, Tappy, Uggy, Herky, Greasy, Weakly, Grungy, Jeery, Menthol, Ouchy, Trollface, Morty, Pandy, Scooby, Miley, Racky, Upchuck, Stumpy, Spongy, Slurpy, Kiley, Tummy, Incindiary, Tokey, Flighty, Pussy, Porker, Pranky, Itchy, Spongey, Fuckey, Stuffy, Quiver, Dreary, Ravey, Dirtzy, Tanky, Crabby, Besty, Dregs, Killzy, Wackry, Daisy, Killer, Chevy, Tacky, Stimpy, Tiny, Buffy, Piggie, Crufty, Stabby, Oozey, Unlucky, Beatnik, Twitly, Kingly, Aery, Ogly, Gimpy, Shanky, Trippy, Fingery, Trumpy, Quackey, Cringey, Hokey, Emergency, Flowery, Tinky, Wifey, Crowley, Gassy, Gingery, Bobby, Tender, Penny, Nutso, Mighty, Crazy, Klinky, Blitzen, Clappy, Slitty, Leaky, Queasy, Wallaby, Buddy, Bootlicker, Peeky, Sadistic, Lovey, Glowy, Pickles, Gingerly, Misty, Lofty, Mickey, Wrappy, Ridiculous, Perky, Tangly, Sprockets, Lackey, Awful, Crassy, Runny, Nasal, Frigid, Doggy, Leafy, Planty, Stealthy, Soapy, Draggy, Queery, Texty, Undie, Davey, Fucky, Futurey, Lefty, Sickly, Diseased, Cranky, Nukey, Gangly, Totty, Dummy, Flakey, Lizzy, Tighty, Froggy, Gunny, Doily, Blotto, Seizey, Lazy, Venty, Blacky, Sandy, Immotral, Spangly, Clowny, Falsey, Loosey, Hanky, Wavy, Shifty, Annoying, Navy, Broody, Cunty, Impressy, Tuffy, Anonymous, Dickey, Pugly, Trolly, Kissy, Reflexy, Prawny, Obnoxious, Duffy, Kingy, Clicky, Nosey, Weepy, Phony, Frenny, Blinky, Neutral, Icony, Southy, Jetty, Teeny, Brutus, Wiffy, Smuggy, Busy, Plucky, Fisty, Spotty, Smokey, Chokey, Lippy, Tammy, Baggy, Powerless, Whitey, Typo, Mimsey, Tiki, Slurpee, Tearful, Flamey, Boozey, Moochy, Jewlery, Wobbly, Bossy, Randy, Curmudgeon, Grampy, Treacherous, Tonedeaf, Handsy, Speedy, Lulzy, Marty, Smacky, Rooky, Frightened, Piggly, Artful, Plowy, Bitchy, Barky, Preppy, Sunny, Rocky, Whappy, Hiney, Spanky, Whammy, Deafy, Mathy, Brainy, Fishy, Barfly, Swifty, Clueless, Dizzy, Lordy, Swindly, Pony, Snooty, Twix, Banksy, Wisty, Squirmy, Brewery, Scrappy, Slippy, Trollop, Ballsy, Willy, Rappy, Sneezy, Addy, Icy, Earny, Fidgety, Schooly, Klangy, Wistful, Metal, Lucky, Obsessive, Henzy, Huggy, Sassy, Agey, Pinky, Horny, Benny, Passy, Tingly, Rippy, Reagal, Freebie, Tossy, Slippery, Touchey, Kermy, Wiggly, Druggy, Hippy, Sweety, Dougie, Crappy, Peaty, Nazi, Faulty, Swirley, Crunchy, Bully, Flambe, Biddy, Hoppy, Bangy, Punny, Unsavory, Derpy, Jizzy, Ratty, Unlikable, Gently, Droppy, Ren, Smithy, Knotty, Deady, Chicky, Jerky, Flatulent, Billy, Pithy, Humphrey, Hansel, Poopie, Snuggly, Loki, Dopey, Yippy, Ridonkulous, Cody, Blatty, Renny, Parky, Prancy, Banananery, Yukky, Cheaty, Lossy, Scruffy, Silty, and Drifty."
Snow White laughed and clapped her hands with delight. "My, there certainly are a lot of you! I'm ever so sorry for barging in here uninvited, but I don't really have a home any more... would you mind terribly if I stayed for awhile? I can cook and clean and--"
Doc raised a hand, interrupting her gently. "We'd be honored if you stayed!"
All 1026 dwarfs nodded in agreement, and were so thrilled they threw Snow White a party to celebrate their new friendship. The party lasted late into the evening, and everyone passed out with full tummies and a happy smile lighting their faces.
The next day the dwarfs arose early and prepared for work. Snow White cooked them breakfast and when it was time to leave they all lined up at the door to bid her farewell for the day.
Snow White expressed her gratitude by kissing each dwarf on the forehead: Smarmy, Ragey, Explainy, Glossy, Pookie, Pesty, Grippy, Inebriated, Teary, Swampy, Piggy, Catty, Hitler, Stroky, Zombie, Mooky, Tandy, Fakey, Twinky, Biggie, Munchy, Stingy, Intrepid, Gabby, Shitsnacks, Packy, Growly, Sleazy, Pervy, Ookey, Maggy, Slither, Effy, Jelly, Freezy, Snuggy, Dippy, Toothy, Banger, Loathsome, Smelly, Loofa, Eerie, Jenny, Zoidberg, Fatty, Porkey, Cutty, Brazen, Krabby, Outlandish, Irony, Queasey, Juicy, Ugly, Wonky, Appealing, Lectory, Terminator, Off-putting, Shorty, Irregular, Hissy, Silky, Hardy, Whacker, Ginny, Pammy, Lovely, Chasey, Numby, Abba, Unmentionable, Phreaky, Gawkey, Spooly, Dairy, Flamy, Pickley, Jammy, Croaky, Diehardy, Sordid, Boasty, Rumbly, Klepto, Siggy, Serendipity, Touchy, Thrifty, Cassy, Noxy, Woggly, Gaggy, Beauty, Bluto, Easty, Larky, Sleepy, Hottie, Cloggy, Muffy, Busty, Flouncy, Oly, Wordy, Floopy, Bently, Winky, Rampy, Twitty, Rutty, Witchy, Boxey, Sexy, Sicky, Blazey, Googly, Chemistry, Humpy, Bloggy, Palsey, Tranny, Nipply, Creepy, Jumpy, Weekly, Dready, Burny, Stjnky, Potty, Poofey, Affable, Sippy, Yeachy, Volatile, Jacky, Pokey, Tumbly, Stinky, Hippie, Restless, Frosty, Slicey, Grabby, Bashful, Milky, Lenny, Slick, Losty, Dramatic, Subliminal, Peeny, Inserty, Botfly, Whipser, Edgy, Strutty, Gamey, Goaty, Slammy, Hickey, Murdery, Lickey, Quiet, Bastard, Sprainy, Griefy, Freeky, Snicky, Snobby, Destructive, Pagey, Hefty, Freepy, Dreamy, Tinny, Jaunty, Larpy, Yelpy, Pumpy, Techey, Wackey, Krappy, Porky, Banny, Lawdy, Spikey, Noxious, Robby, Forky, Woeful, Cringley, Roasty, Grumpy, Queefy, Slabby, Qwerty, Oaky, Rusty, Donner, Bitey, Ernie, Bratty, Reddy, Alky, Pearly, Tooky, Clingy, Rapey, Contagious, Wheezy, Toasty, Nosy, Hungry, Cupid, Woofy, Wicked, Kitty, Slappy, Silly, Oogly, Quagmire, Chumpy, Spocky, Secretive, Yukku, Checky, Goofy, Porney, Seepy, Angry, Junkie, Dumpy, Cagey, Handy, Ghastly, Bunny, Narky, Crummy, Tipsey, Wizzy, Peachy, Splashy, Frighty, Towley, Rangey, Twitchy, Birdy, Blotty, Wheely, Tweety, Mealy, Tazey, Boozy, Mopey, Icky, Hacky, Mental, Pasty, Guffy, Yelly, Picky, Lucy, Bloody, Doomy, Balky, Sharky, Moby, Tastey, Clunky, Happy, Nancy, Fry, Puke, Zany, Sweaty, Pimply, Poppy, Testy, Classy, Scratchy, Righty, Smegma, Pissy, Schmutzy, Proxy, Preachy, Prey, Baddy, Westy, Clumsey, Jumbo, Pawy, Jaundiced, Masturbatey, Spasms, Wiley, Pukey, Havok, Puffy, Startled, Prissy, Snoopy, Ruffian, Iggy, Acid-Refluxy, Nifty, Dressy, Gomer, Flabby, Deadly, Smalls, Neurotic, Hideous, Shecky, Blondy, Skunky, Yummy, Victor, Jewy, Arny, Neuty, Biff, Toady, Humpty, Moogly, Grassy, Corny, Feisty, Angsty, Creamy, Techy, Lopsey, Queeny, Stretchy, Mo, Spanks, Regretful, Snarfly, Underpants, Ready, Lanky, Splenda, Naggy, Faily, Yakky, Sizzly, Jokey, Pacey, Spooey, Traumatic, Screamy, Tucker, Pimpy, Beady, Roughy, Snoozy, Roofy, Quimbly, Brewy, Gumby, Pointy, Hooky, Writey, Shimmy, Bulgy, Nootsy, Bingey, Mooby, Dunky, Sully, Neurtsy, Woey, Jiggy, Prietsly, Terry, Forgetful, Comfy, Romney, Campy, Northy, Giggidy, Dipsy, Beefy, Poledancey, Apocalypse, Woozy, Evil, Talky, Vapid, Freaky, Whackey, Inserto, Bleaty, Chufty, Scuzzy, Crispy, Tepid, Snazzy, Sqealy, Grotty, Jimmy, Nanny, Godlike, Furious, Booty, Wolfy, Cumpy, Toily, Crumbly, Biggo, Boggly, Ironic, Belchy, Flaily, Killy, Puggy, Wendy, Gloomy, Verbosity, Listless, Twisty, Waffles, Archy, Wheatley, Iconic, Klassy, Pauley, Bruiser, Prefunctory, Ruffy, Poopy, Zuckerman, Snappy, Oily, Shakes, Yiles, Priggy, Airy, Godly, Hotty, Lassy, Fudgy, Wooky, Bursty, Leggy, Soggy, Soulful, Walky, Unkillable, Bindlestiff, Pathy, Soothy, Lolzy, Spiffy, Trekky, Toothsome, Goldy, Daffy, Yucky, Pappy, Snowy, Dancy, Sappy, Lana, Cursey, Drippy, Cackles, Fuzzy, Malignant, Ghosty, Quality, Hurty, Schulty, Fizzy, Toughy, Tweaky, Starry, Jigsaw, Piney, Magnanimous, Softy, Denty, Damned, Intolerable, Dodgey, Spazzy, Ropey, Socky, Moomoo, Sammy, Dampy, Cracky, Zippy, Whorey, Likey, Wooy, Spewy, Farty, Perthy, Kinky, Peely, Wetone, Squeaky, Frenzy, Noisy, Danny, Flippy, Fartsy, Gravy, Barfy, Loopy, Regular, Nedly, Quacky, Sloppy, Snooki, Crampy, Wetty, Appealy, Boofy, Snotty, Kwazy, Nutty, Regal, Zappy, Candy, Scary, Shakey, Yeasty, Trampy, Runty, Turgid, Icey, Dusty, Adolph, Pocky, Shitty, Nasty, Cranny, Mommy, Monkey, Prickley, Lumpy, Snippy, Quaffy, Wendigo, Opulent, Henny, Prancer, Pervo, Pippy, Rotund, Cavey, Dazzle, Clooney, Rumpy, Pudgy, Spunky, Ralfy, Questy, Dwarfy, Limpy, Rugby, Junky, Insideous, Assy, Hizzy, Hotsy, Honey, Punky, Blingy, Spinny, Nicky, Spindly, Lacey, Banshee, Feely, Baldy, Rabbity, Lunky, Swarley, Damply, Whiley, Splattery, Squirty, Alcoholic, Foggy, Denny, Berty, Zinny, Mammy, Delicious, Dropsey, Vixen, Beary, Beatlejuice, Knobby, Loudly, Meaty, Teethy, Drinky, Woz, Wanky, Scuffy, Swimmy, Gummy, Posse, Milly, Wallop, Pouty, Ruby, Chicken, Poofy, Funny, Smugly, Spinry, Grimey, Ripley, Savory, Schmuckey, Stainy, Quivery, Pooly, Droopy, Lappy, Herpy, Able, Goosey, Dapper, Beasty, Dazy, Giggy, Drowsy, Lowly, Coolie, Slutty, Burby, Nippy, Firey, Sniffy, Glassy, Factory, Cheney, Slidey, Chippy, Kludgy, Orly, Meany, Kreepy, Pooley, Ninja, Whizzy, Victim, Iffy, Saggy, Kenny, Floppy, Nabby, Sickley, Groggy, Liquidity, Hussy, Jinxy, Kewpie, Lampy, Saxy, Dexter, Doleful, Dandy, Peggy, Mooey, Slashy, Drunkey, Homo, Rolly, Hoggly, Healy, Salty, Gropey, Ghouley, Whirley, Faggy, Weedy, Teaser, Dasher, Ego, Artsy, Quippy, Insanity, Beastly, Chappy, Sparky, Zesty, Tasty, Bumpy, Tappy, Uggy, Herky, Greasy, Weakly, Grungy, Jeery, Menthol, Ouchy, Trollface, Morty, Pandy, Scooby, Miley, Racky, Upchuck, Stumpy, Spongy, Slurpy, Kiley, Tummy, Incindiary, Tokey, Flighty, Pussy, Porker, Pranky, Itchy, Spongey, Fuckey, Stuffy, Quiver, Dreary, Ravey, Dirtzy, Tanky, Crabby, Besty, Dregs, Killzy, Wackry, Daisy, Killer, Chevy, Tacky, Stimpy, Tiny, Buffy, Piggie, Crufty, Stabby, Oozey, Unlucky, Beatnik, Twitly, Kingly, Aery, Ogly, Gimpy, Shanky, Trippy, Fingery, Trumpy, Quackey, Cringey, Hokey, Emergency, Flowery, Tinky, Wifey, Crowley, Gassy, Gingery, Bobby, Tender, Penny, Nutso, Mighty, Crazy, Klinky, Blitzen, Clappy, Slitty, Leaky, Queasy, Wallaby, Buddy, Bootlicker, Peeky, Sadistic, Lovey, Glowy, Pickles, Gingerly, Misty, Lofty, Mickey, Wrappy, Ridiculous, Perky, Tangly, Sprockets, Lackey, Awful, Crassy, Runny, Nasal, Frigid, Doggy, Leafy, Planty, Stealthy, Soapy, Draggy, Queery, Texty, Undie, Davey, Fucky, Futurey, Lefty, Sickly, Diseased, Cranky, Nukey, Gangly, Totty, Dummy, Flakey, Lizzy, Tighty, Froggy, Gunny, Doily, Blotto, Seizey, Lazy, Venty, Blacky, Sandy, Immotral, Spangly, Clowny, Falsey, Loosey, Hanky, Wavy, Shifty, Annoying, Navy, Broody, Cunty, Impressy, Tuffy, Anonymous, Dickey, Pugly, Trolly, Kissy, Reflexy, Prawny, Obnoxious, Duffy, Kingy, Clicky, Nosey, Weepy, Phony, Frenny, Blinky, Neutral, Icony, Southy, Jetty, Teeny, Brutus, Wiffy, Smuggy, Busy, Plucky, Fisty, Spotty, Smokey, Chokey, Lippy, Tammy, Baggy, Powerless, Whitey, Typo, Mimsey, Tiki, Slurpee, Tearful, Flamey, Boozey, Moochy, Jewlery, Wobbly, Bossy, Randy, Curmudgeon, Grampy, Treacherous, Tonedeaf, Handsy, Speedy, Lulzy, Marty, Smacky, Rooky, Frightened, Piggly, Artful, Plowy, Bitchy, Barky, Preppy, Sunny, Rocky, Whappy, Hiney, Spanky, Whammy, Deafy, Mathy, Brainy, Fishy, Barfly, Swifty, Clueless, Dizzy, Lordy, Swindly, Pony, Snooty, Twix, Banksy, Wisty, Squirmy, Brewery, Scrappy, Slippy, Trollop, Ballsy, Willy, Rappy, Sneezy, Addy, Icy, Earny, Fidgety, Schooly, Klangy, Wistful, Metal, Lucky, Obsessive, Henzy, Huggy, Sassy, Agey, Pinky, Horny, Benny, Passy, Tingly, Rippy, Reagal, Freebie, Tossy, Slippery, Touchey, Kermy, Wiggly, Druggy, Hippy, Sweety, Dougie, Crappy, Peaty, Nazi, Faulty, Swirley, Crunchy, Bully, Flambe, Biddy, Hoppy, Bangy, Punny, Unsavory, Derpy, Jizzy, Ratty, Unlikable, Gently, Droppy, Ren, Smithy, Knotty, Deady, Chicky, Jerky, Flatulent, Billy, Pithy, Humphrey, Hansel, Poopie, Snuggly, Loki, Dopey, Yippy, Ridonkulous, Cody, Blatty, Renny, Parky, Prancy, Banananery, Yukky, Cheaty, Lossy, Scruffy, Silty, and Drifty each trooped past Snow White and received a farewell kiss and by the time she reached the end of the line her lips fell off.
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