#icymi gallavich

[its-a-queer-thing]

ICYMI Pt 9--2x08

Everything is quiet from Ian and Mickey for a little bit so it’s safe to assume they have started to fall into their routines: Ian working at the store, Mickey working for his Dad and at the Kash and Grab with Ian. Who knows what those boys do before shit hits the fan…? 

Well, we have a little idea… 

And apparently so does Frank, now.

Let us first and foremost mention that they are becoming more and more comfortable with each other at this point. Granted, it would have been difficult being caught in any position in which someone’s pants were clearly around their ankles, but this one definitely takes the cake. This position shows that they are experimenting with each other, going beyond the back to front position we’ve seen (and it’s safe to assume that’s how they have done it every time due to Mickey’s attempts to keep a barrier up, and facing away is definitely one way to keep their intimacy levels lower.) So they are growing closer in many ways basically. Of course, the one thing Mickey was terrified of slams in their faces when Frank catches them. Ian knows that Frank doesn’t care, but Mickey doesn’t have the same experience and so doesn’t have the same trust. All he’s ever known is hatred towards gay people. Violent hatred to the point where he knows for a fact his own father would murder him if he ever found out he was gay.

There are a couple of things about this scene you should notice if you didn’t already. First, look at the differences in their reactions to being found…

Mickey maintains a look of pure panic and looks like he’s steeling himself for a fight, meanwhile Ian just looks shocked and then annoyed. That right there establishes where they each stand in this situation. Mickey is terrified for his life and to Ian this is just an annoying and embarrassing classic parent walk-in moment.

So now Frank has discovered them and Mickey is so panicked he won’t even stop for a moment to listen to Ian who knows this won’t be a problem.

He is so terrified by what his father will do to him if Frank lets it slide that Mickey is gay that Mickey is not only willing to ditch a job he needs for his probation, but is even willing to risk life in prison if he gets caught on Frank’s murder.

I’ve seen a lot of people who criticize Mickey referencing Mickey’s “attempted murder” of Frank (which first and foremost didn’t happen as you’ll see) and Sammi, but let’s look at the reasons behind these actions (for Frank this time around).

Though obviously it isn’t how we should handle this situation in real life, let’s keep in mind where Mickey’s, from and who raised him. We later see in this season that the Milkovich family looks at robbing convenience stores at gunpoint just like running to the grocery store on a beer run.

This is a family who casually digs people’s graves in front of people they want gone, with a very clear intention to make good on a violent promise if they don’t duce out.

And a family who will lose no sleep plotting someone’s murder.

Mickey has been RAISED around this! This is second nature to him and frankly it’s incredible that he isn’t MORE of a terror. And just in case someone hasn’t been there yet, Mickey wasn’t afraid for no reason. *SPOILER ALERT*

So to Mickey, his attempted murder of Frank is basically self defense because he always knew the above scenarios would happen (and they did!)

Either way, people seem super upset at Mickey for putting a hit on Frank, despite the fact that to Mickey this is in self defense. He wouldn’t have a reason to hurt Frank if he was not completely convinced that Frank was going to put Mickey’s life in direct danger. Also a lot of people seem to believe Ian was concerned for Frank’s safety and so put emphasis on Mickey wanting to kill Ian’s Dad. I personally don’t think he was as concerned about Frank’s safety so much as he was concerned about how Mickey’s threatening anyone is a threat to his probation, and so a risk to their time together and Mickey’s future. I do honestly believe that Ian thinks he won’t care if Frank dies (whether he does actually feel that way, I don’t think we will ever know because he’s had so many different reactions to Frank being in danger that it’s really up in the air). In this case though, I 100% believe that his concern is not for Frank’s safety, but Mickey’s freedom. Both of the times he goes to talk to Frank, he immediately refers to Mickey’s feelings or his freedom, not even trying to appeal to Frank’s own sense of self-preservation.

The first time he goes to talk to Frank he has a demeanor similar to a teenage daughter appealing to her father who freaked out her date the night before and is upset that the guy hasn’t called back, believing her father scared him off.

The second time Ian tried to talk to Frank, Frank basically confirms the reason Ian was so unconcerned (that being Frank doesn’t give a shit one way or the other), validating Ian’s reasons for trying to convince Mickey no to worry.

Despite this, Ian knows that Mickey will not be convinced and still urges Frank to lie low specifically because he doesn’t want Mickey to go to juvie. Some may argue that he’s just not admitting to anyone how much he cares about Frank, and that may be true, but consciously the reason he most desperately doesn’t want Frank to die is because it would mean Mickey having to go back to juvie if he ever got caught. 

Frank, however is too confused about how he feels about his mother dying to pay attention, leaving Ian with the task of figuring out how to calm Mickey down.

So now we come to their “breakup scene” of sorts where Mickey is scared shitless that Frank is going to tell his father that he and Ian were having sex.

Here we see Mickey, frantic, and Ian once again trying to convince Mickey that there is nothing to worry about. In case anyone forgot how dangerous this is for Mickey, look at the sheer panic on his face.

Since these are gifs you can’t hear it, but during this whole exchange you can actually hear Mickey’s voice cracking as he relays everywhere he’s been looking for Frank almost like he was getting more and more desperate with each place he checked, and again when he almost violently called bullshit on Ian. For Mickey, it seems as though Ian is hiding him, probably because he believes he loves Frank or something; but as I’ve already discussed, I don’t think that is necessarily the case (at least not consciously). 

So with Mickey not knowing what else to do than lie low and continue hunting for Frank, he comes to the conclusion that whatever it is he and Ian have between them needs to end. 

Here we see a bit of a standoff because Ian desperately wants Mickey to stay but Mickey is too terrified. Because Ian had a smoother coming out experience (very smooth actually… Even smoother than mine come to think of it) he seems to not think too much of Mickey’s fear. This is understandable since his experience was positive, so he wouldn’t be able to empathize completely (at least not forever. Mickey’s on the other hand would not be and was not). For Ian’s coming out, no one was angry, if anyone was surprised it didn’t change how they looked at him or treated him, and Frank even didn’t bat an eye, so to Ian it’s completely logical that Frank won’t say anything because he doesn’t seem to care one way or the other, But Mickey can’t understand how anyone could react positively (or neutrally) to him coming out because in his experience the only reaction he has ever seen toward gay people has been violent and hateful. Let us remember that Mickey was taught to be violent toward gay people, and so imagine what it must have been like being surrounded by all of this violence towards homosexuality and being taught to assault gay people all while knowing (and denying that) you yourself were gay. 

Now, I love this piece of their exchange because it really emphasises where each of them are with their relationship. Ian is open and proud because he has the privilege of being so, while Mickey is a cynical realist with limited opportunities to be himself. Of course Ian is right there is nothing to be ashamed of for being in love with who you love, but Mickey for now can’t wrap his head around that and so his heart-breaking response, “What fucking world do you live in” highlights another reason Mickey always kept that barrier up. It also shows the stark differences in their upbringing and shows that despite the fact that they live in the same neighborhood, they still come from two different worlds.

I know a lot of people get upset at Mickey for saying what follows and for breaking Ian’s heart but let’s look a little bit closer here and look at those tiny details that really make up this scene and make it so powerful. When we look closer we can actually see how Mickey is feeling. Mickey is what I like to call an “untrustworthy narrator” in the first three seasons because the thing about Mickey is just because he says he feels a certain way or says a certain thing, it doesn’t mean that’s how he’s actually feeling most of the time. His feelings are in his eyes and that is how we have to decide what he’s meaning. This is a very important thing that Noel Fisher has provided us because he is able to portray what the script says and what Mickey’s feeling. Mickey grew up unable to really express himself (as we learn during his wedding in 3x11) so he’s learned to guard his emotions and cover them up with snark. But because this is TV we need to be able to see what he’s really feeling/thinking or else he comes across as an asshole and half of his actions (especially in the future) would make zero sense. Noel Fisher gives us a glimpse at the very sensitive young man hiding underneath all of that armor and it’s a beautiful thing. 

So here Mickey is saying goodbye to probably the lightest part of his life because he is terrified of the consequences of loving another guy, and Ian is desperately trying to hold on (because let’s face it that kid has been head over heels in love since the first time they had sex).

 Look at the way Mickey is looking at him. It may be guarded but I definitely see some emotion there, like he’s forcing himself to close his emotions off against Ian, like seeing this poor boy get worked up is upsetting him but he’s struggling not to show it. There he is weakening for a second until Ian reaches for him and he has to solidify his resolve:

 I don’t know about you but when I see Mickey’s face and when I see Mickey intently looking at Ian, I see a very powerful emotion. He does not want to say goodbye to this kid, he does not want to cut this off because whatever it is that they have is ending entirely too soon and I feel like Mickey is sad about that. But at the same time, this is self-preservation–this is what Mickey has been raised to appreciate above anything. This stare, this weighted moment to me reveals how untrue the previous statement was. I will not believe for a second that Mickey meant this. I believe he said these things for the purpose of closing Ian off against him, putting a firm wall between them so that Mickey could do what he felt he had to do to protect himself and keep Ian at arms length so he could finally quit this boy who kept getting him into trouble (regarding his sexuality). He has been raised to be a survivor and do what you have to do to survive, even if that means murdering someone, which to US seems like such an extreme (and it is) but for him and his aforementioned less than moral and heavily violence influenced type of family, it’s only common sense that you put yourself first and you do what you have to do to survive. So in this instance, it means breaking the heart of the one friend he really has in his corner 100% of the time, the one person he’s probably ever loved (especially outside of his family), and the one person with whom he was free to be himself with, all in order to protect himself. I feel he only said these hurtful things because he wanted a clean break, a way to keep his conscience clean for potentially hurting him by killing his dad. 

This is self-preservation at its core. There’s also a little shimmer in his eye when he takes a break to look at Ian who is getting very emotional and it almost looks like a teeny bit of regret but also like he’s convincing himself, no, I’ve got to do this, this is what’s right, this is what I have to do and finally he apologizes for having to kill Frank. 

Here I honestly believe Mickey had a mantra going in his head to convince himself that what he was doing/trying to do was justified. I believe this because notice that every time he talks about killing Frank he mentions how no one would miss him (which is most likely true) or how Frank’s death would be a favor to the community (also probably true). So now it’s like he’s already justified this murder to himself. That this is what he has to do for his own survival and that he’s probably doing the neighborhood and even Ian a huge favor. because as we’ve already established, these boys are getting much, much closer. They are true friends now who communicate, who talk, and I’m very convinced that Ian has probably told Mickey about the times that Frank has hit him, about the verbal abuse, about probably lots of messed up stuff that even we don’t know about. So with Mickey knowing all of these things (which could be nothing; I’m completely speculating. Or it could be a lot of things but either way) with Mickey knowing the goings-on of the Gallagher household, i’m sure that Mickey honestly does feel like he’s doing Ian a favor. We’ve seen Frank hit Ian a couple of times and later on in the series we see Frank verbally abuse him and also hit him again so it only makes sense to me that this is a regular occurrence and is nothing new and he probably had plenty to tell Mickey about. Obviously, Mickey is not killing Frank for chivalry or justice or any noble cause, but in its core to Mickey this is self-preservation and maybe even (he’s possibly convinced himself) a bit of a charitable act. 

I think convincing himself of these things is the only way he can stomach what he’s about to do.  But what I want to bring attention to is: WHY does Mickey feel the need to justify it? He keeps coming up with reasons why it’s justified to kill Frank, but… he’s a Milkovich? We hear about the Milkoviches random acts of violence on this show frequently which leads me to believe that this family is simply violent in general. They may do it for kicks, for money, for survival, we don’t know. But why is it that even after growing up surrounded by opportunists and lone wolves who look after themselves above anyone else, (maybe even the Ukranian mob??); people who will do literally anything to save their own skin (besides snitch), Mickey feels the need to convince himself that this is okay? I think that this is because underneath the thick skin and cold armor on top of that, Mickey Milkovich is actually a really sensitive person who hates the random violence he’s seen throughout his life and wishes it could be different–but because he’s a realist, he knows it can’t be different so he buries those feelings way down deep to continue being the survivalist he’s been raised to be. 

So even with all of that, he still is unable to take Frank’s life.

You can see right off the bat that Mickey is slowing down when he finally gets so close to this action that he’s been working toward for a couple of days now. As he’s walking down the street following Frank, you can see the war going in his eyes as he’s thinking through this and he’s realizing the moment has come, and you can almost see the thought in his head: is this really what I need to happen? Do I really need to do this? And is it actually worth it? 

You can see the struggle on his face as he’s almost mentally egging himself on, debating with himself about whether or not he has to do this. Finally, he realizes he can’t. Whether this is because he’s convinced it would hurt Ian or because deep down he knows Frank didn’t do anything wrong and so would go against his conscience to hurt him, I don’t think we’ll ever know. Either way, we do know that he does the right thing.

We don’t know if Mickey has killed anyone (I’m willing to bet not), though he has been surrounded by death. We may assume that Terry possibly also dribbles in the Hitman business because of some things that we hear throughout the series in passing, also based on Mandy’s reaction to the pedophile, and the Milkovich brothers calm and collected reaction to Mickey proposing they kill someone. It seems to me as though this family is very comfortable with death. So perhaps with Mickey, me believing him a sensitive person, he feels there must be a reason to kill someone and I think this is the moment he realizes that there is no real reason to kill Frank. It’s been over 24 hours, closer to 48 really, and Frank hasn’t said anything so maybe he realizes that Ian’s right and they don’t have anything to worry about; but he’s still so terrified that even though he can’t go through with the murder he is still back at square one with his father potentially hearing about Mickey’s sexuality, even if it’s not with this instance but sometime in the future. Whether he does the right thing because he was already going to do it and the cops showing up verified his decision or only because the cops showed up is up for debate, but I will argue to my dying breath that he looked at the cops as a way out because he had already decided not to shoot Frank, was caught wondering what he was going to do about Frank knowing his secret, and seeing the cops gave him an easy way out.

It seems strange, but Mickey definitely sees this as a relief because he’s going somewhere where Terry can’t get to him just on the off chance that he does learn about his sexuality. Plus if Terry does learn while he’s in juvie, at least he’ll have prior warning. Somehow, he’ll learn that Terry knows and he’ll be sure to skip town or find some way to gather support to keep Terry away from him. It’s not the best plan and it’s definitely not the bravest thing, but it definitely makes sense.

That’s all I’ve got for 2x08, lovelies!

Be sure to check out my full analysis, and as always if you have anything to add or a counterargument, send me an ask or submission!

[gingit-cake]

ICYMI. I just started watching Shameless this winter so now I’m scouring the web for old interviews about #ianxmickey. I love how they improvise a lot of their scenes. So talented.

[gallavichthings]

Gallavich Week 2017B

Have you started planning your your works for GW part B yet?

Here are the dates and themes:

Day 1 (July 30) - Firsts

Day 2 (July 31) -  Badboy!Ian & nerd!Mickey

Day 3 (August 01) - The reunion

Day 4 (August 02) - Wedding/Honeymoon

Day 5 (August 03) - Jealousy

Day 6 (August 04) - Mexico

Day 7 (August 05) - Ten years later

More information under the read more and, as always, feel free to drop a question in my ask box.

What is Gallavich Week?

Gallavich Week is a week dedicated especially to Ian x Mickey fan work. Each day has a different theme, and people will post their works according to the theme of the day.

When is it?

There’s already been a Gallavich Week in 2017 (click here to see works for all previous GWs), but, due to a great number of excellent theme suggestions, there’ll be a second one! GW2017B will occur from July 30th to August 05th.

What are the themes?

Day 1 (July 30) - Firsts

Day 2 (July 31) -  Badboy!Ian & nerd!Mickey

Day 3 (August 01) - The reunion

Day 4 (August 02) - Wedding/Honeymoon

Day 5 (August 03) - Jealousy

Day 6 (August 04) - Mexico

Day 7 (August 05) - Ten years later

How do I participate?

You don’t have to subscribe to anything or announce what you’re doing, you just have to post your work on the appropriate day and tag it gw2017B. It’s important that you tag it exactly like this (don’t forget the B so that I won’t get it confused with previous works) and that it is one of your first FIVE tags. The other tags can be as you wish, but if you don’t include gw2017B in your first five tags, I won’t see it and, therefore, won’t reblog it for everyone else to see it. If you wish to, you can also tag it day1, day2, and so on, separately.

What type of works are accepted?

Any kind of original fan work is accepted, including, but not limited to, fanart, fanfiction (no minimum words required), graphics, gifs and gifsets, videos and fanmixes.

When can I start posting?

I’ll always post one starting post for each day, at 12am GMT (check here when that is for you). After that, post away!

Can I still participate even if I don’t have a Tumblr account?

Absolutely! Just submit something here.

Can I post something that I created before?

No, sorry. The works should have been created specifically for GW. You can, however, create a sequel or a different version of a previous work.

Can I post something that is not in English?

Of course. Just make sure that it is original or that you have the original author’s permission (and, in that case, link to the original too).

Can I make R rated works?

Yes, just please give the necessary warnings and tells us the rate in the very beginning of the post. If the post is visual (like a fanart or a gifset), it would be nice for you to also tag it NSFW.

Can I post something AU?

Of course! There are specific days for AUs, but feel free to post them on other days as well.

Can I post supernatural works, mpreg and genderbent?

Yes! But if it’s a fic, please include it in the warnings.

Can I post more than one work?

Definitely! The more, the merrier. You can post as many works as you want, in as many categories as you want, being it one post per category or ten in the same category, it’s all fine.

Can I post in more than one day?  Do I have to make something for each day?

Again, the more, the merrier! You can post in only one or in all days, as you wish!

Can I make one work that fits two or more themes?

Sure thing. I only ask that you post it on the day of the last theme included. For example, if you are posting a work that includes the theme from Day 1 and the theme from Day 4, post it on day 4 (just make sure to tell us that it includes both).

Can I make a multi-chaptered fanfiction?

Yes, and you don’t have to post everything either. When you do, just be sure to include either a masterpost, or the links to the previous chapters in the beginning.

Can I include other characters/pairings in my work?

Yes, as long as Gallavich is still the focus.

What if I can’t finish on time?

The Gallavich fandom is ALWAYS happy to see new fan material, so just post it when you’re done and tag it accordingly, ok? Oh, and the same goes for if you can’t finish a work on the assigned date, you can still post it later, just make it clear which day it was made for.

Is there a contest?

No. It was an idea once, but most people didn’t want it and felt a bit intimidated by it.

[its-a-queer-thing]

In Case You Missed It Pt 7-2x02

When Ian goes to pick Mickey up from juvie, notice Mickey’s eyes don’t stray from Ian basically from the time he notices him.

Of course, he has to play it cool so he can’t show that he’s happy Ian’s there because Mandy still doesn’t know Mickey is gay, but let’s consider something: Maybe, despite all of the effort Ian has put into their arrangement and how hard Ian has clearly been pining after Mickey, *maybe* Mickey is surprised that Ian is there to pick him up. Maybe he really didn’t realize how dedicated this little goof was to him and is genuinely confused as to why his fuck-buddy is there.

 Ian has a backup story (however bad it is) to excuse his desire to see Mickey as soon as possible. Of course, it’s completely silly and Mickey doesn’t buy it for a second.

Allow me a moment to point out a teeny detail regarding Mickey’s attitude towards women. He easily could have accepted Ian’s piss poor excuse, but Mickey will not allow his sister’s capability of defending herself to be insulted. He knows full damn well that young woman can kick major ass and as sweet as it is that Ian risked their secret going to see him, Mickey will not allow this piss poor excuse to belittle Mandy’s ability to defend herself because she is fully capable and she’s a Milkovich.

Now of course we need to talk about Mickey’s slight immaturity because I’m sure this next part irritated some people. 

Let’s keep in mind however that these are not only siblings, but siblings who are close in age. And a lot of people seem to forget Mickey’s age at this point in the show anyway (maybe because Noel is significantly older? I don’t know...) But I’ll clarify for you. Ian is about a year and a half younger than Mickey and Ian probably just turned 15 when the show started so let’s assume that Mickey is a fresh 17 right now. Even though we seem to hold 17 year olds to a high maturity standard in our fiction, a lot of 17 year olds (in particular boys) in our reality are still SUPER immature! And that’s just how the cookie crumbles. I will also argue that for siblings this close in age it’s super easy to fall into immature behavior (such as titty twisters and juvenile bickering).  I personally find this exchange hilarious though some people may find it odd or inappropriate.

Next comes the most beloved and hilarious example of Mickey’s immaturity, his clear disregard for authority.

 This kid has probably never had to answer to any authority figure in his life other than his father and perhaps his mother before his stint in Juvie. We don't know if the Milkovich children have been in the foster system as it's already been established the Gallaghers have, we don't know if they have had to answer to authority figures such as teachers (for all we know they run rampant in school or just never go and of course Terry wouldn’t care one way or the other), we already know that shop owners are not off limits, we see Mickey effectively dodging law enforcement.... So who really has been in Mickey's life to show him a need for respect of authority figures? 

No one before now that we can see. 

He's now had to answer to authority figures in juvie and he likely learned how to get around authority figures in juvie from Iggy so he probably didn’t learn much while in there unfortunately. Other than that, it seems as though the Milkovich family has a habit of laughing at authority because they believe they can get around whatever trouble they find themselves in, in their struggle to survive. 

Obviously because this is fiction, him flipping off authority figures is only funny because it’s fiction. If this were real life it wouldn't be, but as we connect these two situations (reality and fiction) let’s try to learn something from this: keep in mind that we know a lot more about Mickey than we would any random kid flipping off authority figures. We don't know why a lot of thugs don't have respect for authority figures because there can be numerous reasons that many of us will never understand. It could be that they have never had one, it could be that their authority figures taught them to be disrespectful to others and only respect them, it could be their authority figures didn't enforcing anything or prove that authority figures need to be respected and obeyed, for them we don't know if they have been raised to laugh at authority figures and believe that they are in fact above the law as I suspect Mickey has been. 

So obviously I'm not excusing his disrespect for authority figures or condoning his blatant disrespect for police, but if we look at his background and we understand why he wouldn't have respect for authority figures, I think we can start to get a better picture of why thugs do not respond to law enforcement and do not answer to authority figures the way we in society expect them to.

Then we get a teeny glimpse of more Gallavich development as Ian leads Mickey away from brewing trouble. Notice at first Mickey allows himself to be lead away by Ian, but then remembers himself...

He seems to start accepting the affection before remembering that wall he’s supposed to have up. Remembering that this is not a relationship, it’s a friendship with some fucking involved. We have officially moved past just fucking into friendship territory...

 So now let's move on to the baseball field scene. Here we are really seeing the friendship that Ian and Mickey have, and they have just bounced right back to where they left off, even developing past where they left off really. It’s possible that Ian visited Mickey a couple of times and what would we expect to happen from their actually sitting down and having no other choice BUT to talk to each other? That’s right, when they have no option to take their clothes off and can only talk it stands to reason that they would develop a true friendship. They aren't just fuck buddies anymore... they are actual friends and we didn't really get to see that in the first season. 

But here we see Ian telling Mickey what he's been up to he's taking a lot of classes over the summer and Mickey’s engaging in the conversation, reacting and teasing him and going back and forth with him.

At first glance it may seem as though Mickey is dismissing Ian’s potential for achieving this goal, but here’s what I see. I see Mickey feeling unconcerned by the looming threat of Ian’s goals because Mickey is still in denial that he cares enough about what will happen to Ian some three or four years in the future since Ian is still too young to enlist and Mickey knows it. Because there is still so much time before Ian can enlist and Mickey is a very in the moment kind of guy, he doesn’t even acknowledge his concern for this kid though I’m sure deep down he’s impressed by Ian’s dedication. Of course though as we already mentioned, Mickey has a huge disregard for authority figures so Ian’s aspiring to not only subject himself to a career in which he’s surrounded by authority figures but then to himself become one is likely an irony that is not lost on this little thug. And if there *is* any anxiety that Mickey feels about Ian’s future, of course he’s going to cover it up with a joke because he’s still trying to convince himself that what he feels for Ian is a lot less than what it actually is.

BUT if we are going to talk about Mickey’s apparent disinterest in Ian, we HAVE to pay attention to The Look. Though hopefully this is the point where most Mickey haters even stop arguing that Mickey is disinterested in Ian, I’m going to show this anyway on the slim chance some people missed it.

 Look at him watching every single move Ian makes. Think I’m crazy or that I’m reading too far into it?

There he is still watching him. Laughing with him, drinking him in.

Now here he is trying to act cool and “whatever” about it, but then look at the way he is drinking Ian in...

Look at how they look at each other here... Mickey is trying to act so nonchalant about just wanting to get to the sex, but look at his face! Look at how he is eating Ian up with his eyes and looks genuinely excited to be with him; there is a glitter in his eye that speaks volumes about how he’s actually feeling. And he maintains eye contact with Ian the. Entire. Time! I will scream until my dying breath that this Look says it all about how Mickey really feels about Ian. I think a lot of Mickey haters are missing the little details that Noel Fisher puts into this character to show that yes he is interested, yes he is falling in love just like Ian is (maybe not quite at the same time or the same pace but it is there) and that this is definitely going somewhere. He feels a connection with him, hence the eye contact, he loves the physical connection and chemistry they have, hence how desperately he wants to move on to the sex he’s been denied for a little over a year.

Now we're going to get into the depressing stuff... We're going to look at Mickey’s self-esteem and how he views himself. This is important for Mickey haters to see because how someone views themselves greatly impacts how they treat others and how they interact with others. So, Mickey values his strength and power above basically anything else and I argue he was raised to believe this both directly and through personal experience. He is an intelligent person despite how many jokes are made at Mickey's expense pointing out his lack of education, so when Ian just starts casually doing pull-ups, Mickey automatically jumps on that and tries to one up, and in fact doubles, Ian’s display, and brags that there's nothing else to do in the joint but work out. 

When Ian suggests that Mickey could read (showing Ian’s value for education to reach goals and potential) Mickey scoffs. 

Why? because we learn in season 3 that he has basically a freshman's education, he has not passed a single class in high school which is probably because of his involvement in his dad’s business, he’s now spent a good bit of time in Juvie and I can't imagine Juvie having a very promising education program (I am completely assuming, if someone knows differently, let me know), and even when he was in school he was paying Lip to write his papers for him so the chances of him taking education seriously in the first place is quite slim. So basically, Mickey never even got a chance to see the value in education and has learned that power and brawn is what gets you places, and anything about himself that does not contribute to those things he views as useless.

Now at first this may just seem like Mickey scoffing at the idea of reading because lots of people of all backgrounds dislike reading (OW my English major heart!!!)  BUT what I even missed the first time, and Mickey haters may have missed, was this really sad and really revealing line showing Mickey’s whole outlook on his life.

It isn’t even so much that he doesn’t like to read (though it’s probably safe to assume there’s that too) but what’s the point of him getting an education? His father has trained him to be the perfect thug, to inspire fear in anyone so he can help out in daddy’s little drug ring despite his young age. All of Mickey’s dreams (if he ever had them) are down the toilet to him because even if he wanted to live a law-abiding life and do things the “right way,” he probably doesn’t even know where to start at this point, because he’s never had to do something “the right way” in his life; and besides that, his father would never let him go. Mickey’s been raised to believe the southside mentality, which is what Lip kept chanting to Fiona in season three, “the only way to make it in the southside is to scam it, or steal it.”

So because he has no trust in the system or in his own ability to make it on his own gifts, he has to develop himself in ways that are familiar, and what is familiar is the thug life. He's accustomed to stealing and scamming and threatening his way through survival, and he knows that book smarts are not going to help him with that. 

So now he’s being forced to act as though he gives a shit about going straight in his life because a condition of his probation is to find legitimate employment. And even there, he has no idea where to start. He has a reputation for stealing and menacing so basically any storefront/retail is out, (could we ever see Mickey bussing tables????). His idea of what jobs he’s capable of doing, or expected to do reveals a lot about him and our society. 

For Mickey his only options are the meat-packing plant and tarring roofs or some other form of construction or dangerous work. The fact that I just automatically sighed in pity for this boy due to these options reveals a lot about how our society views these workers. I feel like in media in particular these skilled workers are frequently stereotyped as having a record or being under-qualified (otherwise incapable) for anything else (ex. Law & Order SVU, most released rapists they question work in meat packing districts or construction), but the truth is if we didn’t have these workers, our country would fall apart real quick. Literally. Anyway, that was off-topic but I definitely felt needed to be said. Food for thought, you’re welcome. :)

This conversation also reveals Mickey’s lack of trust in the system. Keep in mind that Mickey is still young, 17, but the system is treating him as an adult despite the fact that he just came out of a juvenile detention center. Mickey is convinced his probation officer is going to find him a job definitely meant for adults and because it is a dangerous job, this reveals a disregard people feel for released criminals (even child aged ones) who are supposed to be getting rehabilitated to become productive members of society. 

In this country it seems, once a criminal always a criminal. Mickey knows the system doesn’t believe in him, his father is going to make him go back to doing the same old shit, and no one cares about that factor, so why should he care? At this point it seems he’s just going to go through the motions until he gets caught doing something else and gets thrown in prison.

Going back to education, we know that Mickey’s smart (despite the many jokes made at his expense) because he's wicked good with numbers as we see in season 4, plus he is smart enough to skirt around the edges of the law (and whether we like to admit that or not it does show some intelligence. It does actually take a capable and intelligent person to get away with crime as much as we don't want to admit that). 

So the heartbreaking thing about this moment is, Ian still has potential and can still make something of himself in a way that will satisfy society’s standards of a “good” citizen... Mickey doesn’t (or at least doesn’t believe he does). Ian also still has some trust in the system and still sees value in education. Ian’s optimism, while heartwarming, is not inspiring to Mickey because Mickey sees the realistic course of his life and has already accepted it.

Next we go back to examining their relationship development. We are seeing little glimpses of their friendship (the shotgunning, the talking, Ian trying to help Mickey with his probation) and this is super important. I don't think Mickey haters quite understand why this matters so much, but it matters because Mickey is participating in this relationship with Ian now. It isn't just having sex and leaving anymore, they talk they listen to each other, try to be an ally for each other, and that's the start of something huge.  

So here we see another boundary set. Though the line has definitely moved as their friendship has developed, Mickey is still trying to keep a distance and in this case it’s by reminding Ian that talking about community college, making plans in this way is too domestic, too settled. These are the conversations that boyfriends have (at least as Mickey understands it). Ian, luckily, accepts this boundary and drops the subject. Ian, however, is still clearly pining after Mickey and wants to spend as much time with him as Mickey is willing to give.

Obviously this is a strange suggestion, but Ian is at least trying to help. At least working at the store Mickey wouldn’t be working a dangerous job where he could get hurt and they would get to spend more time together; a win-win!

Of course though, because it’s Mickey and he’s missed Ian (though he won’t admit to that at this point) he shuts down the more intimate discussion of jobs and the future, they go back to having sex.

So if anyone is honestly wanting to say Mickey isn’t genuinely into him... Look at that smug little smirk and tell me that boy isn’t smitten.

Moving on to Mickey's first shift at the Kash and Grab I want to look at this scene to further develop Mickey's background because I can't see anything controversial about Gallavich in particular. First and foremost, despite Linda automatically assuming Mickey is going to steal from the store (not that I can blame her, really)

Mickey is actually taking this job seriously. First he stops two kids who think they are going to stuff their pockets

And then Frank.

Considering Mickey has zero sense of control in his life and doesn’t believe that he will ever amount to more than a thug, it actually reveals a good deal that he is taking this job seriously and is putting forth even the minimal effort required.

Next, I’d also like to point out that the reason he feels his life will amount to nothing more than street success, if even that, is because of his Dad. It hasn’t been established WHAT exactly his Dad does. What we know at this point in the series is Terry is a jailbird, he and his children have a lack of respect for the cops, and he and his children sometimes do “runs”. In the future however we will hear some hints that Terry deals with a little bit of every genre of illegal activity from illegal weapon sales, drugs, to possibly mercenary work? In this scene we get a hint at the drugs. 

Mickey quickly tries to set up shop for drugs when Lip and Kev are stocking up their ice cream van.

Mickey has been raised for this and probably is expected to help out in the family business, and has a limited conscience for it due to his exposure to this business. I can't prove that this is influenced by Terry, and I can’t prove that Mickey is being forced, but what I do know is that in future episodes I see some evidence that not only is Terry behind this but that Mickey isn’t too fond of the dirty business he’s been dragged into. 

I also want to pay attention to Mickey's face when Kev says no to the hard stuff and Lip starts talking to Ian about his tutoring.

 It could be that I am reading too deep into this... however just the way that the camera zoomed in on Mickey’s face when he was just standing there, and the way he looked away, he looked a little uncomfortable, maybe even a little sad... All of this makes it seem weighted and a deliberate choice which tells me it is in fact an insight to how Mickey is feeling. It makes me think that maybe he hadn't before consciously thought of what he was doing with his dad’s business; this leads me to believe that his role in this drug ring was involuntary and he probably never even thought of the effects that these harder drugs would have on people (especially young people) and this almost contemplative face makes me think that maybe this is the first time he's thinking about that. 

 Then lip tells Ian to keep practicing the geometry theorems. Mickey overhears this as well and I also think that sadness in his face comes from knowing that Ian has a future, Ian has potential and options, Ian can go so much further than Mickey can and maybe in a way Mickey is a little jealous of that. 

So at first he questions why geometry theorems? Halfway through Ian’s explanation, Mickey gets a little distracted...

 Anyway, here we are again with this foil of Ian's future and Mickey's contrasting futures. Mickey is likely doomed to Terry's life. He's being groomed into a mini Terry and let's be honest how many of us honestly want to become our parents, as in full replicas of our parents, whether you have a positive or negative relationship with your parents? Here Mickey is following Terry's footsteps as far as we can see; he has temper, he is in and out of juvie, and he's already started selling drugs for his father.

Ian on the other hand is the exact opposite of his father, which we see right after this conversation. Instead of following Frank's footsteps, Ian sees what happens when you don't chase after your full potential and so then here Ian is chasing after his full potential and doing everything he can to achieve his goals. I think that Mickey recognizes that and is maybe a little jealous that Ian has options that he will never have because he already has a record and already has a reputation that will keep him from achieving everything that he can achieve.

But of course, that reputation can come in handy too...

Mickey’s reputation commands obedience from lots of people in the south side and that’s because that’s how you get what you want in that community: fear and power. Ian is striving after military power and respect but doesn’t command that south side respect that Mickey does. This is something Mickey has over Ian at this point, despite his knowing that in the future, Ian will have the upper hand by far.

For now, Mickey returns to teasing Ian to re-establish their friendship dynamic.

And for a second, Ian brings it back to their constant unspoken conversation on sexuality. For the first time we do get true insight to what Mickey believes this is. He has definitely reduced his sexuality to a kink, though of course deep down he knows he’s genuinely attracted to men (Ian). This is the first time we see Mickey even starting to accept his sexuality and make it clear that his sexuality will not define him.

That’s all I’ve got for 2x02! Let me know if I missed anything or drop me a line to discuss something further! 

Until next time lovelies! <3

Get the full analysis!

[its-a-queer-thing]

3x05

I would like to point something out that I’m not sure anyone is talking about.

The obstacle course Ian is using while Mickey is shooting at random targets above him? That obstacle course wasn’t just THERE, guys. You know what that means? That means that Ian and Mickey found this place (probably Mickey knew about it first or they discovered it together. I’m assuming this because we never saw Ian here before and Mickey made himself at home here after what happens in 3x666) and MADE it into a shared space where they can each just hang out and do whatever they want. Mickey can shoot his gun to let off some steam and Ian can train for ROTC with an obstacle course they probably built together. They’d have a place to hang out without worrying about getting caught (you know, since the Kash and Grab CLEARLY wasn’t going to work anymore because each time they got caught up to that point, it was at the store). BUT it’s super important that we take notice that they are not just either fucking or working together. They spend platonic time together just hanging out. They are taking interest in each others interests and I really just CAN’T stress that enough to people who argue Mickey is toxic for Ian or that the relationship was bad in general. They were not just fuck buddies. They were friends, best friends.

So in the first scene Mickey is in, we see Ian proposing Mickey help him rob Ned’s house. 

Mickey seems disinterested in the conversation, but that’s likely due to Ned being mentioned and I imagine Mickey doesn’t really want to hear about him. I know I certainly wouldn’t. 

Something that may have concerned some people was when Mickey shot beside Ian while he was on the ground, but I’d like to point out something. We’ve seen this kid handling guns basically since we met him. He knows what he’s doing and I assume is an excellent shot. We see him shooting at targets all of the time. His family is swimming in guns. Plus if I want to be cold (and possibly get some hate) Ian is wanting to go into the army... May as well get used to bullets getting pretty damn close.

There wasn’t any malice behind it, though it is a shocking move to say the VERY least.

I love also how Ian is totally cool with the Milkoviches. He’s best friends with Mandy, in love with Mickey, and accepts basically everyone in Mickey’s circle.

Notice how he’s trying to make this a throw-away comment. Trying to act like he isn’t emotionally invested in why Ian likes Ned or hangs out with Ned. He’s trying (and failing) to hide his mounting jealousy.

I think Mickey shoots at these reasons for a couple of reasons. 1. It’s bullshit. Though I’m sure Ian does like being treated to stuff, Mickey also knows that this isn’t why Ian likes him or is pretending to like him. Those shots are his way of calling bullshit but in a way that won’t reveal how irritating this actually is. And 2. Because no matter the circumstances, Mickey will never be able to give Ian (materialistically) what Ned can and I think deep down that bothers him.

You can see that vulnerability in his eyes even when he’s trying to hard to act unbothered and casual, he can’t completely hide that Ian’s initial answer bugs him. He’s poor and even in season 4 when he has moments of wealth from the Rub N Tug, they are fleeting and not to the level he probably wishes he had. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

^THIS is the root of Ian’s problem with where he and Mickey are at and Mickey recognizes that as the truth.

And while he understands Ian’s impatience, he’s also really really scared to get emotionally attached. Nothing good in his life lasts forever, each time he and Ian find some semblance of happiness together, it gets fucked up so I can understand why Mickey would be afraid of building a connection (internalized homophobia aside!) But then there’s also a determination, and I’ve talked about it before. Almost like he’s wrestling with himself a bit. Like, okay I’ll still not admit I’m gay... But I’m losing him to this old guy and while I can’t buy him shit, I can maybe give him this? It’s at least worth a try, right?

Before we move on the the obviously most important part of this episode, I would like to point out something really quick...

Mickey and his Milkovich crew are about to handle this job the way they usually do when Ian stops them. Let’s be real, this probably doesn’t seem like such a big deal to them because this is probably on the lighter side of their spectrum when it comes to violence. I mean, we did just hear Iggy and Mandy talking in 3x03 about their history of digging graves as though it is a common occurrence. This family is so numb to violence it doesn’t even show up on their radar when they may be going overboard. 

BUT, the thing I wanted to point out is that Mickey listens to Ian. This is the kid who usually runs the show. Every time we see him doing something thuggish he doesn’t listen to anyone unless he’s seriously backed in a corner (like when he listened to Iggy’s suggestions for killing Frank) and even then, he’s walking with the swagger of the leader.

But here this leader is listening to Ian and following Ian’s lead, making his family fork over their usual tools for this sort of gig. I think this is huge to show how much respect Mickey has for Ian and Ian’s opinion, despite how he knows his family will react.

So here we come to everyone’s favorite part! Mickey starts to walk up to the house when sudden inspiration hits to run back to Ian

AND PLANT A NICE GORGEOUS FAT SMOOCH ON HIM! 

What I love about this kiss is NO ONE (I believe) expected it! I know I sure didn’t! And Ian looks just as taken aback but excited as at least I can say I was.

And there goes Mickey, trying to diffuse any image that the kiss meant something, even though I’m sure he understands the signals that were just sent and received. There is no taking that back. They have finally crossed a HUGE border that Mickey had firmly set in place. From this point forward, nothing will ever be the same with them because Mickey FINALLY opened himself up to Ian just a teeeeeny bit.

<It was brought to my attention that I left this gorgeous detail out by @koganphrancis>

Look at how Mickey is grinning up a storm in that house. 

Looks to me like he is both relishing/savoring the feeling of FINALLY kissing this kid (and kissing him GOOD at that!) because for a little bit, he was getting nervous that Ian might leave him or lose interest in him as more than just a friend. But kissing him was that next step to guarantee that Ian would stick around. And of course he’s smiling because he’s robbing this lady blind and he probably thinks that’s hilarious. Basically, our boy was having a great day...

All of this (quite literally) bites Mickey in the ass when he gets caught in the house (yes, it’s his own fault for trying to steal a Grandfather clock... Definitely not one of Mickey’s smartest moments).

So the thing I’ like to talk about here is the way Ian is freaking the FUCK out about Mickey. And I don’t think it’s just because someone got shot. His own cousin and brother aren’t freaking out like Ian. This COULD be connected to what I mentioned earlier about Milkoviches being desensitized to violence... but I think it STILL goes beyond that to plain and simple that Ian feels very deeply for Mickey.

Look at his Uncle chilling and lighting a cigarette, meanwhile Ian is getting covered in Mickey’s blood trying to get down to business but still quite clearly freaking out.

Offering a kind word, and fuck let’s just mention that he called Dr. Lishman in the first place! He knew Mickey would refuse that man’s help if he hadn’t taken initiative and called him right away. I don’t know what it is, but seeing Ian getting so freaked out just makes me really happy for some reason. 

And right as the camera is panning out, look at Ian’s face. He almost looks disapproving or irritated when Ned slaps Mickey’s ass. Like, bro could you not?

All-in-all a HUGE amount of progress has been made in this episode. From seeing how they spend their platonic time together, to their first kiss, to seeing Ian being there for Mickey in a way that Mickey hasn’t really allowed him to be before. This is a HUGE episode for seeing how far they have come from “Kiss me and I’ll cut your fucking tongue out” and even more recently “What do you think we are boyfriend and girlfriend?”

That’s all I’ve got for 3x05! Let me know if I missed anything or if you completely disagree with me!

Until next time, lovelies!

Get the full picture.

[its-a-queer-thing]

ICYMI Pt 15--3x07

I frequently read people discussing Mickey and Mandy's relationship, and talking about Milkovich loyalty. While at the core, they are tight-knit siblings, the fact is Mandy does look down on Mickey a lot. She makes fun of him with Ian, which is realistic for siblings, but she makes fun of things that really shouldn't be made fun of...

Look at that shit-eating grin on her face! She looks amused that her father not only abused her brother but even seems smug about the degree of abuse! Now, while I’m outraged about this, I do also have to defend her by reminding myself that in this abusive as fuck household, everything is topsy turvy when it comes to violence. Her reaction is the equivalent of a sibling being smug about their sibling getting a spanking and it’s very disturbing. Discipline in this house I am certain is very extreme, so her desensitization to violence isn’t shocking. What does shock me even further is when she asks

Uhh... You definitely need a reason to pistol-whip someone. Specifically your brother! I know he can be a shit, I know he gets on your nerves, that's siblings... I'm just personally amazed that she would be so dismissive about this degree of violence. 

I guess what she finds amusing is that this has knocked Mickey down a few pegs (we all know he’s got a swagger befitting of a high-running thug and while that cockiness may intimidate some people, I’m sure it annoys her more than anything.) 

Of course this is coming from the same person who downplayed her own incestual rape, trying to convince the Gallaghers that it wasn't a big deal, when in fact it most certainly is. So what she could have thought this was, or if maybe this has happened before (maybe or maybe not with Mickey in particular), we don't know. But clearly, Mandy is desensitized to this level of violence, and is accustomed to justifying and or dismissing things in her life that are really messed up to give herself a sense of security and normalcy that she doesn't actually have. 

It’s unclear if this is the first time Mickey has experienced this level of abuse from Terry (rape aside). Mandy’s response to this seems so commonplace and casual it almost seems as though this type of thing happens frequently, or at least happened consistently enough throughout her childhood that she is now thoroughly desensitized to it. Also Mickey’s fear of Terry which has been so evident throughout the entire series  up to this point gives the impression that Terry has been physically violent with Mickey before, probably multiple times, but I can’t decide if this is the first pistol-whipping in the Milkovich family. Once again, Mandy’s casual response is super disturbing because it hints that maybe this has happened before...

Ian is tracking Mickey down due to a genuine concern for Mickey’s well being. I find this a very sweet display of Ian’s gentle nature and shows how much he does care for Mickey. He recognizes that what Mickey endured was hard and traumatizing.

What Ian doesn’t necessarily understand is exactly what about the attack was traumatizing. Granted, the whole event was traumatizing, but I think Mickey is mostly desensitized to Terry’s usual abuse. What Mickey was unaccustomed to, and so unprepared for, was the sexual assault--which, I don’t even think he or Ian would classify as a “rape” in their minds because many people don’t even believe men can be raped and there isn’t a lot of talk about male rape to open up understanding about it.

Not only do I argue that Mickey was certainly raped due to the scene we witnessed before and the reasons I listed out in my last ICYMI, but I also believe it because of Mickey’s demonstration of rape trauma syndrome symptoms.

People suffering from rape trauma syndrome, and rape specific PTSD, are more likely to physically and emotionally withdraw from their lives, act out in violent or otherwise harmful ways, and do certain things to assert a sense of control. It appears that Mickey is working through his aggression and probably his need for control in his life by shooting his gun. Whereas before he had a seemingly accurate aim, here we see his aim is quite off (or at least it seems to be from where I’m sitting). This is important just to show how out of focus he is right now and how much this experience has truly rocked him.

This moment is really sad for me because he almost looks happy to see Ian, until he remembers what happened. I can see it clearly, like he looked up and his instinctual reaction was to get excited and then what happened flashed behind his eyes and he wasn’t happy anymore. Suddenly, he REALLY didn’t want to talk to Ian anymore.

But it’s not that he won’t want to talk to him forever, and I think Mickey knew that. That’s why he didn’t fight back or tell him to go away. Mickey’s silence, to me, was his way of asking for space without telling him to go away or talking about what happened or promising any sort of future conversation.

I see some people being upset at Ian for trying to push Mickey into talking to him. Something I would like to point out is while Ian has been traumatized to a degree, because he was violently assaulted and forced to witness something very deeply upsetting, in his family he has learned to turn misfortunes into jokes, to dismiss what doesn't work out. It's not necessarily a healthy coping mechanism, but there are some people in my life personally I can say would have reacted similarly. I don't support this coping mechanism, it's deeply insensitive to people who don't have the same coping mechanism and probably unhealthy in general. So I had a similar reaction to Ian making a joke of Mickey's trauma as many people did, I assume, and was very disappointed in the way that he tried to make light of it.

 I think he expected Mickey to be able to bounce back again because as a society we see men as sexual beings that are rearing to go for any sexual attention they can get, and the truth is men are just as capable of being traumatized by sexual assault and rape as women. Also Mickey as a character is a bounce-back kid. He doesn’t dwell long before he, like Ian, gets up and dusts himself off. But this is one experience that Ian can’t sympathize with so he’s expecting Mickey to bounce back from something he doesn’t understand.

I’m not blaming Ian for this unfair expectation because I'd also like to point out that ian's understanding of sexual assault is fuzzy. We see this in season 6 when he's talking about his drug-induced nights at the club, and reveals that sometimes he was unaware of what was being done to him. Instead of getting scared or becoming a victim, he decided to ignore it. I'm not saying that admirably, I think it's terribly unhealthy for Ian to ignore this, but at the same time if he would rather put it behind him and not address it that is his business. My point about Ian's future history with sexual violence, is to show that he really doesn’t understand sexual violence against men and if he doesn’t understand it then he certainly doesn’t know. Also, we don't know how long before season 6 his history with sexual abuse started. We don't know how Ian and Kash got together. While I don't see Kash as an aggressive type, the truth is we have no idea how this started, I'm going to stop there because thinking about that is scaring me, but for all we know Ian was manipulated or seduced and we don’t even know it.

So my point being because Ian has such a casual attitude towards his own experiences with being sexually violated, I believe that he expected Mickey to have a similar mentality, which obviously he does not, and be able to bounce back. 

Further, I think Ian did want things to go back to normal, wanted to believe that this experience would not end them because he does seem to already recognize that he loves Mickey. I think he wanted their normal back so bad that he got frustrated when it didn’t happen, almost like he had already decided in his mind that everything would be the same. I think he also doesn't want Mickey to associate Ian with his trauma and is afraid that Mickey will do that. And that is not to the fault of either Ian or Mickey, it's how the human brain works and getting angry at Mickey was not going to help anything. 

Ian tries reasoning with Mickey, tries being sensitive to his trauma but it doesn’t get him anywhere.

I understand Ian's desperation for things to just bounce back to the way things were. So to the Ian haters I understand why you don't like this moment, because we want to be sensitive to Mickey's trauma, but at the same time due to Ian's experiences with sexual assault and his general mentality of refusing to dwell, as is the Gallagher way, I think explains why he was able to be so casual when talking to Mickey after this and wanting him to acknowledge him.

Mickey is the one guy Ian has really felt for and I argue really relied on emotionally. I’m sure he and Kash and Ned talked about things Ian went through but they are so much older than him, I can’t imagine it being a conversation Ian feels very understood in. Then there’s Mickey who he can vent to and talk to about his family and Mickey will understand because they have similar experiences and they are around the same age so they see the world more similarly. My point being, I feel Ian was afraid of losing his best friend, not just a lover. I think he was afraid that everything they worked for would be lost and in this moment when Mickey refused to look at him, that fear was very, very real.

I have also seen some (but not many) people express irritation at Mickey for ignoring Ian here, but I would really like to point out something that should be obvious. 

Mickey has just endured a huge trauma, he has been violated in so many ways that we don't understand unless we've gone through it. And what I appreciate about this arc, this three episode long arc where Mickey is explicitly demonstrating his RTS symptoms, is that we get to see that men do respond to rape similarly to women, to show that male rape is a real thing, it is traumatising, and it's serious. We need to talk about it because men are not unfeeling beings who are grateful for any kind of sexual attention (which I think our society tries to make both men and women out to be depending on the circumstance.) So right now we're talking about men being looked at as being ready for sex at any time and being happy about sex at any time, and so being incapable of sexual trauma (specifically from a woman), and realizing that this is not the case. It's not only because Mickey is gay, it's because someone touched him and manipulated his body against his will, period. I'm going to stop before I go too much into detail because I didn't put a trigger warning up but what I want to leave you with is a plea to recognize that Mickey is definitely a victim of rape. He has withdrawn himself physically because he's at this abandoned building, and emotionally because he refuses to talk to the one person in his life that he used to be able to talk to; he's lashing out in a controlled yet violent way to release some of what he's feeling-- and he's probably feeling a lot of things; anger, resentment, hurt, confusion, fear, helplessness... We will see later that he turns to alcohol for comfort, we see later that he is sensitive to touch, and that he is more likely to lash out violently in ways that he didn't before-- but as I said I'll get to that in next couple of episodes. 

Ian finally realizes that Mickey isn’t up for talking and leaves. I can only imagine how hurtful this situation must be for both of them so while I understand where Ian haters and Mickey haters are coming from in this, and upcoming, episodes, I just want to remind everyone that this is a REALLY hard situation to put yourself into if you haven’t been through something similar. I personally admire Mickey for finding his space, claiming an isolated space where he can work through his shit in peace, and trying to leave Ian out of it, because we all know what a Mickey backed in a corner looks like, and he knows that’s ugly. I think he is actively trying to avoid any further damage to a relationship he probably still wants, but is now looking less worth it due to what happened. 

And I admire Ian for looking for Mickey to check on him himself since Mandy was of no help. She doesn’t recognize the deep degree of Mickey’s trauma, and Mickey probably puts up a front when he’s home which is another reason he holes himself up here rather than curling up in his room, so his siblings don’t ask and he doesn’t have to tell (or lie). Ian can sometimes be a bit of a dreamer and his poor hopes were shot down in this moment and my heart really goes out to him for it.

That is all I have for 3x07, lovies! Let me know if you agree or disagree with my analysis! And get the full story here!

[its-a-queer-thing]

ICYMI Pt 12--3x03

Now we're going to talk about the infamous pedophile episode and as much as I want to criticize our society's double standard for sexuality at young ages and how that transcends into how we view pedophilia, I will try to keep off that soapbox and keep it contained to the Gallavich topic. 

So first and foremost, after Debbie sees a man masturbating on the bus, Lip and Ian have this idea to see if there are any sex offenders living in their neighborhood, and it turns out that there is one only a couple of blocks over. So they go to get the Milkovich family upon Mandy's suggestion, and they all congregate at this pedophile’s house only to find out that the pedophile is a woman. 

Instantly everyone calms because she's a woman and we have been taught never to hit women (also this changes how the mob empathizes with the victim) so the question then is why do we look at pedophiles differently if they are women? Why is it more socially acceptable for teenage boys to be sexually active with grown women but inappropriate for teenage girls to be sexually active with grown men? (Hopefully I don't have to explain this but I will clarify I am not trying to say that it is okay for young girls to have relationships with older men or young boys with older women or any other variation of this. What I am saying is we need to stop criticizing young girls who are interested in sex at an early age if teenage boys are the same way, stop acting as though young boys are capable of sexually fending for themselves while treating our young girls like china. To make it even clearer, I’m saying we need to protect our young boys as much as we do our young girls or come to some kind of compromise. We also need to keep in mind that older women who have sex with teenaged boys (or girls) are also pedophiles. It is pedophilia regardless of the gender of the pedophile and we as a society need to come to that understanding.)

 I will now step down from that soap box and return to topic of Gallavich... 

I can already see the snarky comments about that rant...

Anyway...

So the number one thing about this scene that is important for Gallavich in particular is when she tries to justify her pedophilia by saying that she served her time and paid for her “mistake,” then redefining her “mistake” as love. 

At the mention of love, Mickey looks to Ian and this really shows that maybe Mickey is already starting to consider that he may be in love with Ian, at least on a subconscious level.

After the party disperses, Mickey tries significantly too hard to act straight. 

 This could be a direct response to his halted revelation that he definitely feels something for Ian and is desperately trying to convince himself that the relationship he has with Ian is physical and that he is not gay. 

In a desperate attempt to cling to his masculinity and heterosexuality he asks someone who has a reputation for being easy if she wants to have sex 

This is a depressing and almost shocking attempt to cling to his heterosexuality to prove to people that he doesn't even need to prove his sexuality to that he's not gay and that frankly is tragic to me.

Ian, seeing this for exactly what it is tries to ignore it . Of course, we find out later that Ian can’t just forget it because even though Mickey is desperately trying to cling to his perceived heterosexuality, Ian can’t help but feel jealous that Mickey got involved with anyone at all...

Next time we see Mickey is at the Kash and Grab for his shift with Ian and the first thing we see is a failed attempt at a drug deal. 

The kid clearly has never done this before, and though I have personally never been involved in a drug deal, I can say with certainty that this was not a good one. 

For several episodes now I've been alluding to evidence that supports that Mickey is involved in Terry's drug ring or whatever business he has and this is another big piece of evidence: 

He calls it his business, but I have a distinct feeling that he was not the mastermind behind this operation in that he wouldn't be in this situation if his dad didn't probably either force him or suggest to him that he start dealing drugs. First we saw evidence in 2x02 when Mickey tries to strike a deal with Kev and Lip suggesting they sell his cocaine/Special K/whatever else and when Kev refuses, for a second it almost seems like we saw some remorse or thought go into what he's doing. Then just in the last post we saw a little bit of sadness when Mickey explains his reason for coming back to school that he wasn't coming back to school to get an education or re-enroll, he wasn't doing anything that promised a bright future, he was picking up drug money for cocaine that he trafficked into the school. Here he seems a little more casual about it, but then he seems a little more casual about everything in this episode. 

He casually disregards his feelings for Ian, he casually disregards the pedophile, he casually disregards his own sexuality, and now here he is not seeming to mind anymore that his drug pushing is directly impacting young people's lives because that's who he mostly deals to: kids only a little younger than he and Ian.

 I think that maybe because he knows that this is for his and his family’s survival, he is able to ignore it. Keep in mind also that if he suddenly stopped dealing drugs for his dad I know with great certainty that this would be dangerous for him. His father would not take it lightly and he would definitely have to find a new way of making money, one that's probably even more dangerous, so in this instance it's as though he's made peace with what he’s doing because he knows that he's doing what he has to do to help his family survive, to keep his dad off his ass, and pull in what his family needs for income. 

Then for some reason, Mickey also feels suddenly casual about talking about his sex life with Ian... He switches gears about his openness about their relationship, and this seems really sudden. It may be because Ian is upset at him (whether it be because he's dealing drugs to young people or just that he’s dealing drugs in general, I’m not sure. Ian definitely is not happy with Mickey's little side business either way) so Mickey tries to be cute.

And it works! Well... at least it certainly did for me... 

Or it could just be that he is getting comfortable and as I mentioned before is just casual in this episode in general.

But Ian quickly refocuses and asks about Angie Zago, who as I promised was revealed to be kind of like the easy girl on the block.

Mickey makes it seem like it's not a big deal when the truth is, it is. Especially after such a close call to a revelation about his feelings for Ian, he probably needed to ground himself to convince himself that Ian means nothing to him more than sexual gratification. And even at this point it seems he’s trying to convince himself that he doesn’t even need Ian for that, that they can be just friends, even though it's painfully clear that Ian means a lot to him. Keep in mind, when he first came back he acted out of rage and jealousy when he found Ian with someone else, and then even admitted to Ian that he missed him. Now we see him start to distance a little bit, trying to maintain that boundary that has been coming down slowly but surely every time they meet. 

.

.

Next shot that we see of Ian and Mickey, Ned comes to the Kash and Grab to (basically) stalk Ian and try to ask him out... but it's under the guise of being in the neighborhood and being hungry... Because you know... He’s smooth like that...

Mickey is talking to a couple of customers in the back of the store, almost definitely for his drug deals if the gesture and white cup in his hand is anything to go by, but notices the exchange, and doesn't look happy about it... 

While Ian doesn’t look terribly tempted, he does see an opportunity. You can almost see the thought occur to him in the next gif when Ned insists.

Ian is willing to play to Mickey’s jealousy in order to get him to act on his feelings that Ian knows are there. And our boy does not disappoint.

When he gets back to the front of the store, he again does not look happy as Ned is trying to leave. As smooth as our boy tries to be, it's very clear that he's jealous of what he's seen, and he knows that there's something between Ian and Ned. Look at Ned even seeing right through him.

So because he understands what he's just seen, Mickey reduces the entire thing down to a joke and mocks Ian for being involved with an older man. Of course, I'm disgusted by it too (though for a different reason than Mickey is) so I'm certainly not going to hold it against Mickey for making fun of Ian in this case, though generally it would be considered rude and even a little demeaning. 

 As I mentioned in the previous analysis, this season is a season of jealousy. With Mickey starting to open up his own mind and his own heart to the possibilities of Ian meaning more to him than he initially believed, he's also allowing jealousy into this situation. BUT he’s still very deep in the closet. So how do you open up to someone you care about, but keep your defenses up against potentially being outed because of just being with said person?

 So this is the first time we're seeing Mickey feel really anything towards Ian that isn't the violent anger we saw in his premiere episode or blatant lust as we saw in 2x02. And with this jealousy we're seeing how strongly Mickey connects to the people that he cares about and this connection is really really strong for him even if he won't admit it to himself, and certainly not to Ian. 

My favorite part of this scene in particular was when Ian stuck him with that zinger, leaving Mickey just staring after him almost as though he's saying “touche”

Because now Mickey is consciously receiving a taste of the jealousy that Ian has been feeling with Mickey's non-commitment and of course Mickey's encounter with Angie Zago. And I think that it's this comment that is actually required to help Mickey understand that what he's feeling IS jealousy, and maybe only a second longer to realize what that jealousy means. From there it's just a question of what this feeling motivating the jealousy is and if he's willing to allow that feeling to grow. (Which of course we know it will).

Considering how Mickey follows Ian to spy on him, I'd say he is starting to realize how much he cares for the redhead.

 But of course we can't make too much progress all at once... 

Notice Ian’s face. Shit is going downhill so quickly and he already knows what’s going to happen....

Mickey definitely also sees any term which would insinuate that he is gay as an insult, probably even the highest of insults! While Mickey is making progress towards accepting his sexuality, he is not quite there because the internalized homophobia is still such a huge, huge hurdle that he has to overcome, especially in public. This is a stranger, one he already dislikes because Ian has a relationship with him, and they were out on a city street talking about this where anyone could have overheard. 

So while I do not condone his violence towards Ned, because it was so undeserved (though I still can't find it in my heart to feel too terribly bad considering that Ned is in a pedophilic relationship with Ian (if he isn’t a full blown pedophile which we have no knowledge of) and I will never be able to accept that as okay... but of course because Mickey isn't beating that up for that reason I can't really use that as a way to specifically excuse him, so I won't excuse him...) 

I will simply try to encourage everyone to understand where this violent outburst is coming from to at least understand him in this moment. And what I want people to understand is this violent reaction to Ned insinuating that Mickey is gay is the same violent hatred he feels towards himself for actually being gay. He’s always fine to joke with Ian about their sexual relationship and even acknowledge that they have sex (only amongst themselves, of course) but as soon as there’s an assumption of a relationship or deeper feelings, that’s when Mickey shuts down. That’s when sexuality becomes more than just a primal need and becomes too intimate. That’s what he feels the need to shut down, the intimacy.

Now, watch Ian’s reactions. Remember, I mentioned earlier that whenever Mickey does something outrageous we need to look to Ian to figure out what’s going on with Mickey because Ian is excellent at seeing through Mickey’s mask.

Now, Ian’s pretty calm for someone witnessing an assault and I think it’s because he understands that Mickey feels defensive over his sexuality. He knows that for some reason, Mickey feels the need to beat any doubt about his heterosexuality out of any challenger’s mind, and for now that challenger is Ned.

Of course, this is still an assault and certainly not an appropriate response to this insinuation, but Ian understands just how deep that rage goes for Mickey to be called gay. 

Notice that Ian is pretty calm when it comes to stopping Mickey, only meeting him at his level of violence when it’s clear Mickey won’t back off. And even then, that chop to the throat wasn’t a very hard one, just enough to knock the air out of Mickey and knock him off balance long enough to realize that what he was doing was stupid. Also notice that Ian’s reasoning to Mickey for hitting him wasn’t anything to do with Ned, it was that they were going to have cops on their asses soon. Ian is still choosing Mickey’s well being over just about anything at this point. Even though Mickey has done something incredibly wrong, Ian is still on Mickey’s side and is still more worried about what’s going to happen to Mickey if he gets caught.

Now, I don’t think this part can be over valued. Ian chose Mickey. Mickey did something really, really wrong but Ian still picked Mickey, running with him even though if he and Mickey had been picked up together, Ian would probably have been guilty by association and arrested too.

But he chooses Mickey. And makes a statement to Ned (and Mickey) that Mickey is more important. A lot of Ian haters seem to undervalue this moment.

Then we're going to put a beautiful red bow and Band-Aid over what just happened and see a really beautiful moment between Ian and Mickey as Ian scolds Mickey for what he did.

I just have to mention how his hand immediately goes toward his belt... I think it's playful, I think it's funny, I think it's endearing, I love how they then played with each other, they chased each other around and had a great time together like boys should! Even at this age, boys should just run around and have fun! And so that's what they're doing, and it's in these private moments that we see a glimpse of the boy that Mickey still is. 

Mickey may be 18 technically but I think every now and again due to his circumstances, he deserves a few moments to just let loose and be young, especially if that is with his best friend and his lover. I think it's important that we keep in mind that the Mickey that is abrasive and confrontational that we see in public when he's surrounded by strangers is polar opposite to the warm and inviting young man he is with Ian. I think it's important to know that Ian seems to recognize which is a mask and doesn't push it when he wears that mask because he understands why it's necessary, even in the last season when Monica takes Ian out to a club she reminded Ian that there is a time and a place to be loud open and proud about who he is, but reminded him not to come out of the closet at the high school because there's a great chance that he would get attacked just based on where they are. So it's important to note that Mickey recognizes that danger everyday on top of the risk from his own father, and so that means that his true self, who he is around Ian and this guarded off person that we see him as a significant amount of the time during this show, are completely different people and there's a reason for that. His fear is what makes these two sides of him so polarized and the mask and shield so strong, because it has to be.

So to Gallavich haters, to wrap up, look at them play around and just have fun together. These two are best friends, they are each other’s release, each other’s partner and pillar to lean on. Their relationship is developing so beautifully at this point and it’s amazing that we get to see these little glimpses of them being more than just lovers. I feel as though too much emphasis is often put on a romantic couple being romantic or sexually intimate. But a relationship takes so much more than that, there needs to be a foundation of friendship with that extra little spark and we definitely get a glimpse of that here.

That’s all I’ve got for this episode!

Did I miss anything? Do you disagree with my analysis? Let me know!

Until next time, lovelies! <3

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[its-a-queer-thing]

In Case You Missed It Pt 11--3x02

We first see Mickey return while Ian is banging someone else under the bleachers at the high school. I saw some people complaining about Ian “cheating” on Mickey between the last episode and this one but I’ll remind them: Mickey essentially broke them up in his last episode.

At first when Mickey stumbles upon the scene, he looks excited to see Ian until he realizes what's going on; that Ian was having sex with someone else. 

Then the jealousy flares and he acts out violently. This violence works on two levels: first and foremost as I have hopefully made abundantly clear, Mickey has been raised to be homophobic asshole, he's been raised to believe that it is okay and in fact encouraged to beat up gay people, so his first reaction when he sees this is to react violently because it's how he was raised. But there's a second layer there which is jealousy because that's his spot. Mickey, as it has been hinted, is just about always bottom and now here he is being replaced. And even though Mickey knows that what he and Ian has is casual physically, and surely he remembers that they “broke up” last season, I'm sure it still hurt to find Ian with someone else. This pain of course will be only worse when he learns about Ned who has established an emotional connection as well as a physical connection with Ian, one thing that Mickey cannot give right now. 

Either way, Mickey acts out violently in this moment 

I think it’s important to pay attention to Ian’s reactions. Ian rolls his eyes when Mickey says something homophobic or acts out violently, especially if it's regarding his sexuality or Ian, and this is one of those cases.

I think it’s important to always look to Ian when Mickey does something outlandish because Ian’s reaction will tell us a lot about Mickey’s motivations. In this instance, Ian laughs and rolls his eyes because he knows that Mickey isn't beating this kid up just because he's gay; that he's actually beating him up because that's his spot and Ian knows it's a jealousy thing. Ian has always had a knack for understanding Mickey’s side and deciding which side of Mickey he’s seeing: The mini-Terry Milkovich side or the true Mickey side. We saw him see right through Mickey in 1x10 when Mickey said something very biting, but Ian only laughed at him because he knew that there was no actual venom in the words. And basically any time that Mickey says something snarky, Ian laughs because he sees right through him and sees it almost as endearing! Here we see Ian almost trying to stop himself from laughing because this is so over the top and it’s almost humorous to Ian because he sees the irony of what’s going on here. Obviously it is not funny that Mickey beat up this kid who was completely innocent in this situation, but because this is TV and because this is a character defining moment, I say we forgive ourselves for laughing at the situation, because it is the sheer irony of Mickey's words that gives it humor. Without, I never would have laughed and Ian probably wouldn't have either.  

The irony being that Mickey isn’t ACTUALLY beating this kid up because he’s gay or because Mickey has a vendetta against gay people. He’s beating him up because he’s jealous and beyond that is trying to keep up appearances that he’s a fagbeating hardass no one should mess with. It’s the way he tries too hard to come off as something he’s not that is humorous, then with the added irony that Mickey is criticizing this kid for allowing himself to be fucked in the ass when... Well, what is Mickey’s preferred position? 

I also want to point out that Mickey's walls are definitely still raised. Mickey is no where nearer to coming out or being completely comfortable with himself, but he also hasn’t taken a step backward. The irony seems to be lost on him that he first beats up a kid for taking it in the ass and calling him a faggot, then assuming the same position... This is how dedicated he is to not admitting he’s gay. Even before this moment, it was actually in the previous episode, when Mandy said that Mickey was asking for girl on girl porn we see that Mickey is still trying to put on airs that he's straight, overcompensating, even, to combat the possibility that Frank could still run his mouth (and it's possible that Frank already has run his mouth but he just doesn't know it yet.) 

So they return to their old dynamic of having sex in secret and it seems like Mickey's still allowing his walls to slowly slide down for Ian, while still keeping a good bit of himself hidden. He's not yet ready to give as much of himself as Ian probably already has, because let’s face it, each time he makes progress he gets shot, or is threatened in some way. BUT a huge thing that happens in this scene is when he admits to Ian that he missed him. 

This is so fucking huge because Mickey is finally allowing himself to be slightly vulnerable and finally expressing an emotion to Ian. He’s risking a shoot down or maybe even some mockery by admitting aloud that he missed the kid.

Now something I’m still wondering is, did Ian visit him this time? I wonder because of Ian’s surprise when Mickey admits to missing him, and because he expected him to be inside for four more months. If they were in consistent contact, I’d think that he would have been told that Mickey was getting out early...

Granted the shock likely comes from their “break up” in season 2 and Ian thinking Mickey was mad at him, and it’s due to him believing that which makes me wonder if Ian even visited. If Ian didn’t visit, Mickey doesn’t say anything about it--possibly once again trying to keep Ian at arms length emotionally or not let on just how much he clearly means to him.

Ian is basically Mickey's only friend, and even Mandy admits that she doesn't like to go visit him because the guards "search” her too thoroughly. Of course, when Ian gets excited about hearing how much Mickey missed him, Mickey tries to dismiss his confession as just something physical. 

And to those who insist Mickey doesn’t care about Ian, keep in mind that Mickey keeps coming back. And it isn’t just for the sex. They hang out, they talk, they know things about each other (though Ian is about to learn that he doesn’t know nearly as much about Mickey as he believes). Mickey does what he can to keep Ian around him even when he tries to convince himself that he doesn’t care. He seeks Ian out even after breaking things off with him last season, likely knowing he could have moved on. It’s knowing this, and wanting Ian close while simultaneously wanting to keep him at arms’ length because of his closeted status that makes him act so dismissive, and I feel a lot of people may not catch that.

I think Ian suspects, as I do, that Mickey doesn’t miss him just for the sex. But as we find out later in the episode, Ian is starting to doubt his ability to read Mickey. 

It seems to me that Ian is learning in this moment that he doesn’t know as much about Mickey as he had always assumed. As good at reading him as he is, there’s still a lot that Mickey keeps well hidden, even from someone he clearly has a deep connection with. So for Ian to go from feeling so sure about how Mickey felt about him despite Mickey’s sturdy wall and to go from feeling as though he can read him like a book, I’m sure this is a blow to realize he doesn’t know as much as he thinks. But even Ian didn't expect this which tells me that despite how far they've come, it looks as though Mickey's walls are still pretty high, because clearly Ian doesn't know Mickey's birthday, Ian doesn't know exactly how old Mickey is and his shock that he's back shows that he probably didn't visit very much if at all.  

Something else I think is really important is that we can assume Mickey is now 18. Everyone believed that Mickey had another 4 months. My guess is he was so close to aging out when he went in and he was only back in for a parole violation, so they just let him go. So why did Mickey lie about “overcrowding or some shit”? Probably because it’s a hard realization that you’re 18 now when he’s a person accustomed to being able to get away with most things with a slap on the wrist (juvie for him probably not even phasing him as a severe punishment since he likely knows how to play it there from his family and has the Milkovich name to back him up). But prison isn’t like juvie. I imagine juvie is still not a nice place, but let’s be real: prison is probably significantly worse. He’s probably trying to process the fact that next time he gets caught doing something he shouldn’t be doing, he’s going to the big house. Plus, imagine marking your 18th birthday by being released from juvie and realizing you’re going to need to own your shit in ways you haven’t needed to before... To shorten my rambling, this is a sobering moment for him.

Look at both of their faces... Mickey seems to be trying a little too hard to make that casual and Ian doesn’t look like he exactly believes him...

 And the final point from the scene that I would like to make is regarding Mickey's relationship with school, and what exactly he does in the school. In his premiere episode we saw him thank Lip for writing an English paper for him. So, at one point, Mickey did care a little bit about school. He went through an effort to pay Lip to write an essay for him. But then Mickey says in this episode that he would still be considered a freshman because he hasn't passed a single class. So something happened between season 1 and season 3 that changed his relationship with school. It could have been his mother dying, it could have been that Terry forced him to start pushing drugs which we got a glimpse of in season 2 and will continue to see throughout season 3, and in this scene as well. I don't know about anyone else but when I see him explaining to Ian why he came back to the school and saying that the reason is there's drug money he needs to collect I see regret. It could be regret for what he's doing, peddling drugs to young people, or it even could be regret that he's not coming back to school to learn or better himself but to continue on a business that I think he's conflicted by. 

On one end as I mentioned before, Terry has raised Mickey to be a little Terry, and up until season 4 episode 11 Mickey wanted to be a little Terry, he worked at it. So it's by no stretch of the imagination that I would see Mickey dropping out of high school to continue on the family business, or even staying in high school and putting in just enough effort to stay in order to deal drugs to young people for his dad. But either way there is definitely some dark emotion there and I feel as though it is underrecognized and underappreciated that clearly there is something about his life and something about the drugs that he is maybe resentful of or at least he feels something within his subconscious to make him feel bad about it one way or the other.

This season I think is heavily influenced by jealousy. In seasons 1 & 2 Mickey didn't really have a lot to be jealous of. Ian clearly chose him over Kash and then in season 2 Ian wasn't hanging out with anyone else and he, for all we know, was faithful to Mickey even though they weren't in a relationship; but now we see Ian moving on physically because he wasn't sure how Mickey felt about him so he needed to find a source of comfort which Mickey usually provided. And on top of that and didn't know if Mickey was mad at him or if he wanted to pick things up where they left off because Mickey ended it.

So season 3 starts with a lot of questions regarding their relationship and how things are going to work. And clearly, Ian wants something a little more committed while Mickey of course isn't there yet and won't be until season 5 (or for all we know, never imagined he could have a relationship with Ian so just didn’t dare to dream).

That’s it for 3x02! Let me know if I missed anything you think is important or if you disagree with my interpretation!

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[its-a-queer-thing]

In Case You Missed It Pt 5-1x09

So now a little more time has passed and I think we can safely assume that Ian and Mickey’s dynamic (fucking and hanging out whenever one or the other wants it) has continued without issue. With this dynamic, it would only make sense that a bond would form even if it’s just a bond of friendship. All of this may be implied but I consider this canon since it’s Mickey that Ian runs to when Monica comes back. It’s Mickey that Ian wants to see. 

To me, it’s clear he didn’t want to see him to fuck him (though that is what ends up happening) just because of how distraught he is, but the fact is Mickey has become a person Ian feels he can rely on for some comfort, even if it just comes in the form of physical release. We don’t know exactly where they are in their developing friendship, so while this may be the beginning of  platonic friendship, Mickey may still have that barrier demanding their relationship be wholly physical. What I do know is that clearly something was going on at the Milkovich house (it sounded small and unimportant, but heated from the offscreen dialogue,) and I see some genuine concern and even irritation in those eyes towards being interrupted in whatever is going on though he isn’t entirely shutting Ian out yet.

Now seeing Ian’s distress, pay attention to that wall slowly come down by a couple of bricks.

See how he’s resisting? Trying so, so hard to not be necessary and to not care, to make Ian go because his wall is definitely weakening against Ian. But he can’t help but be concerned for why this kid feels the need to show up at his house on his working day, and clearly upset no less.

Now pay attention to his focus, his clear pointed focus on Ian, drinking in his distress and clearly being bothered that this boy is so upset. But of course, Mickey has a rule. He’s not going to get emotionally involved because that would give them a deeper relationship than he is willing to give at this point. So, he offers Ian help in the only way he knows how and despite whatever is going on in his life, he’s putting that aside to help Ian.

This is a HUGE hint that Mickey cares way, WAY more than he’s willing to let on as he takes a risk to meet Ian down at the store despite whatever is going on in his life and despite the risk of being caught at the store and despite the risk of that wall lowering for Ian.

So now here they are back to doing what they do best when they get interrupted.

Obviously THIS is what Mickey had been so afraid of. THIS is why he kept Ian at arms distance, trying to avoid being outed. Because he has been seen he’s on edge because of the possibility that Kash might somehow spill. Mickey, as established in earlier episodes, holds a position of power over Kash because Kash if afraid of him. 

So when he comes back to the store to intimidate Kash into being silent, he thinks he has it in the bag and he won’t really have to even try hard, going so far as to push Kash in the usual punk way he does...

What Mickey wasn’t expecting was for Kash to actually grow some balls and use the gun. BUT those balls are completely misplaced for several reasons. 

First and foremost, he isn’t even shooting at Mickey because he’s just stolen a candy bar, let’s get real. Kash is shooting at Mickey because Mickey “stole” his boyfriend, nevermind the fact that Kash and Ian shouldn’t have even been together in the first place. Next, there is a problem because Kash (poorly) aims for Mickey’s HEAD!

Those details aren’t 100% relevant to Mickey, but I definitely felt they were worth mentioning just in case anyone missed that little tidbit.

So anyway, Kash shoots Mickey in the leg 

and an interesting thing is that even when Ian leaps to comfort Mickey

Mickey for a moment seems to accept the touch, but then fights it. Why? Because that wall that was starting to come down, has to go right back up. He absolutely has to set this boundary back where it was even in small touches like this.

That is all I have for 1x09 today! Let me know if I missed anything, counter-argue me, or even send me some love to agree with me!

‘Til next time lovelies! <3

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[its-a-queer-thing]

In Case You Missed It--Pt. 10

Now in Mickey’s absence let’s go over some of the things that we learn through the rest of season 2 and the first episode of season 3.

In 2x09– Ian talks to Mandy about Monica coming back and asks how Mickey is. Mandy says he’s doing fine and when she asks if he’ll visit he reveals he thinks Mickey is mad at him for hiding Frank. In the same conversation, Ian remarks that she’s lucky her mother is dead, to which Mandy agrees. This is a really hard thing to pass off as a throwaway comment, but this detail was just tossed out like it was nothing. This I think reflects just how little regard the Milkovich siblings may have held for their own mother. Or shows that they, too, build that infamous Gallagher wall to things that don’t work out. I can’t be sure because Mickey did seem to speak of her affectionately in his premiere episode. But we also never see her or hear of her again until this very moment. Also in this episode Ian shares that Mickey is in Juvie because of him. The way he says it makes it seem like Ian is feeling pretty guilty about it. This guilt discourages Ian from visiting (there is no indication that Ian visited but there is also no indication that he didn’t so we aren’t entirely sure if Ian knew by Mickey’s return that Mickey wasn’t actually mad at him. Based on Ian’s sleeping around, however, it signaled to me that Ian thought they were over since it seemed as though he was faithful to Mickey while he was in juvie the first time.

2x10–At the end of the previous episode, Terry Milkovich breaks into the Gallagher house and attacks Ian for presumably impregnating Mandy. Obviously we know this is impossible, but of course try explaining that to a Milkovich defending Mandy. We see a pretty strong parallel between Mickey and Terry when Terry replicates Mickey’s hunt for Ian. (Which strengthens my argument that Terry tried to mold Mickey into a mini him and for the most part it worked to a certain extent). It’s remarkable that I was able to forget this part, but it took until this watch through to realize the numerous similarities between these events. 

Both frantic searches for Ian were based on false assumptions that Ian did something to Mandy (Mickey thought he raped her, Terry thought he impregnated her). They each followed him everywhere and did some extent of damage to the Kash and Grab. Lip got involved (first Mickey beat Lip up to influence Ian to face him, then Lip went to find Mandy and faced the barrel of a gun to try to see her). And finally Mandy was the one who had to call them off.

Let’s now establish something that I don’t feel gets talked about enough. Sure lots of people talk about Mandy’s rape and the fact that Terry is the one who raped her and people talk about her abortion, but there’s a HUGE piece of information about the Milkovich patriarch that seems to either be missed, unsaid, or ignored; that TERRY MILKOVICH is a FULL BLOWN PEDOPHILE! I feel we don’t use that word to describe Terry Milkovich and you know what? We need to. This disgusting piece of shit “person” we criticize for raising his children to be little thugs, for having his son raped at gunpoint, and raping his daughter is literally the mold lining a dumpster level disgusting. It is more than well established that this man is interested in children, specifically female children, and somehow I missed this the first time around. We’ve already established that Terry sometimes gets drunk and sometimes rapes his own daughter, and that this is a common occurrence which is why Mandy didn’t even blink when she was confronted about this by Ian. This is at first explained away by hinting that she resembles her own mother. Though it’s a piss poor excuse, it is an excuse that seems to relieve him of the true condemnation for what he EXACTLY is. Another small detail that I feel is missed, is how he looks at Debbie when she goes over to the Milkovich house to ask Mandy for makeup advice (in 2x04, I believe). We all know that Debbie was trying to grow up entirely too quick and this started pretty much from the beginning of the series with her always wanting to assume adult responsibilities and then with her trying to get into sex too soon, and this scene aptly shows this when Mandy, known for being easy in this neighborhood, remarks how quickly time passes and before you know it, you wish you hadn’t grown up so fast. At the most despicably (and brilliantly) timed moment, Terry walks up to Mandy’s open bedroom door to look in and looks longingly at Debbie, who is 11 at this moment. Despicable because it’s a detail that was included at all and gave me such a degree of the creeps that I actually blocked this moment out, and brilliant because if it hadn’t been included we wouldn’t know just how hard it is at the Milkoviches. It seems as though each time I watch this series the more evidence I find to prove how fucking hard it is to be a Milkovich. Not only did I miss this the first time watching this series, but I also missed other small details that prove that not only is Terry Milkovich a homophobic, racist, criminal piece of shit but he is also a pedophile.

2x11–We see a usual day in the life of the Milkoviches when Lip moves in with Mandy. This usual life includes getting drunk and using a “beer run” as  a euphemism for holding up a convenience store for money. And this is so common place for the Milkoviches that Mandy can’t even understand why Lip is so freaked out. We also see Ian meet Ned who is clearly an emotional distraction from Mickey while he’s away.

3x01–Then we learn that Mickey was conceived when their mother was only 12 years old. This only further establishes that Terry is a pedophile, yet no one seems to call him out for being one. So, here it is loud and clear: 

TERRY MILKOVICH IS A PEDOPHILE 

and to anyone judging the Milkovich children for being the degree of fucked up that they are, keep in mind the abusive nature of their father (Mandy has to go into hiding whenever Terry goes into a rage, almost every time we see Mickey in the early seasons he is seen covered in dirt and possibly bruises, the thug behavior everyone is so critical of is literally just considered the family business, and we see Mickey being put down in one of the ONLY times we see Terry in a domestic setting). And YET, Mickey still wants to be liked by his father. In ALL of this, we see Mickey defend Terry and try to be the type of leader and scammer his father can be proud of (but of course he never is). Now imagine growing up knowing your father “married” a 12 year old girl and knowing that your mother had you at 13… I don’t even think I have to go further.

We learn a lot in Mickey’s absence. And of course, we only keep learning more.

If I missed anything, or if any detail needs clarification, or maybe you disagree with any of my points, send me an ask or submission!

Get the full analysis!

[its-a-queer-thing]

ICYMI Pt 8--2x04

Okay, so we all knew this was going to happen. There was going to be that ONE thing I couldn’t defend. And here it is...

While Frank is desperately trying to convince Sheila to stop her progress with leaving the house, he steals a gun and meets up with Mickey for some ammo. I missed this the first time, and this time around was floored and instantly disappointed when I saw what Mickey was shooting at:

I will NEVER be able to excuse this. Even I have my limits, even when it comes to Mickey. HOWEVER, I’ll ask everyone to put the understandable anger at this display aside to try and understand it and to understand something else about Mickey.

First of all, let’s keep in mind who his father is and what background he comes from. His Dad, though unconfirmed, has evidence to support he may be a neo-nazi or support neo-nazi ideologies. First and foremost, our first impression of Terry is seeing him with multiple tattoos that may or not be white supremacy based.

I’m going to go with definitely, though some people may argue these similarities are just coincidences. Then in season 3 the writers for some reason had Mickey take town Nazi stuff that was never actually up? Either way, the way Mickey threw away the concept of having nazi related paraphernalia in his home as being inconsequential shows that to some degree he has been exposed to his father’s apparent ideologies which may derive from some form of nazism.

I’m also going to assume that Mickey does not share in his father’s ideologies since he has never been disrespectful to Vee or Kenyatta (in a way that was racially motivated in Kenyatta’s case) and  (despite his frequent use of Muslim slurs) he has never attacked (that we know of) a Muslim based on their religion. Mickey’s harassment of Kash was based on convenience and power, not because Kash was Muslim. He wanted easy access to whatever he wanted and probably had a corner nearby to do some of the dealings his father made him do. So it would only make sense for him to gain access to the Kash And Grab which would be most easily obtained by intimidation. In this situation, Kash’s race/religious preferences are irrelevant. 

Of course throughout the series I have shaken my head many a time when Mickey called Kash some form of slur. Unfortunately, I wasn’t quite as disturbed by this as I probably should be because unfortunately in my neck of the woods a lot of people feel similarly to Muslims as Terry seems to. I honestly don’t think that Mickey for one second agrees with his father’s teachings, though that lightens the load only so much. As I said, I’ll never be able to fully explain this one away, but it still is important to understand before we immediately call Mickey a racist or islamophobe.

Another thing we need to keep in mind is that Mickey is still young, 17. Obviously, this is an age where socially we stop making excuses for inappropriate behavior or offensive behavior. BUT if Mickey was raised to believe this way and there isn’t someone around telling him or encouraging him to feel differently then how can we expect anything else? I think this development shows the other side to people who share anti-anything rhetoric to remind people that we are all products of our upbringing and if we are taught to believe a certain way, sometimes we do grow up believing that way. I’m sure some readers now are getting defensive because maybe you have a personal experience where you grew up in a racist home or homophobic home, and you luckily avoided harboring those ideologies. Some people, however, aren’t so lucky. Some people truly are victim to their upbringing and while I don’t think that is necessarily the case here, because I really haven’t seen anything to give the indication that Mickey is racist/islamophobic/anti-semitic, etc. I think what we are seeing here is a desensitization to inappropriate language/insensitive rhetoric and throwing terms around that he doesn’t even understand the weight of because he has probably heard it all of his life.

So this segment was certainly not to excuse Mickey of this scene or any of the times he used racial/islamophobic slurs against Kash or Linda, but just providing another perspective to maybe start a conversation about where these attitudes/complacency regarding how we talk about certain groups of people come from?

That’s all I have for now, lovelies. If anyone feels like something was missed, has something to add, or would even like to (respectfully) disagree with me please feel free to do so. 

Get the whole analysis

[its-a-queer-thing]

In Case You Missed It Pt 4-1x08

Today we're going to be talking about season 1 episode 8. A reminder that in the last episode Ian and Mickey had sex for the first time and it was in an atypical fashion to say the least... But, as we discover in episode 8 they are definitely into each other. Ian is walking around with his head in the clouds wanting to tell Mandy, his best friend, what's going on with him,

 but he can't because Mickey is her brother and is very deep in the closet. We got a strong hint in episode 7 that Mickey’s father, Terry, is homophobic. 

We also saw this in how terrified Mickey looked when Terry walked in. He looked like he was bracing to defend himself and possibly fight for his life, which as we find out later throughout the next three seasons that is actually very much a reality for him.

So now a bit of time has passed, and right now we're seeing Ian with his head in the clouds, head over heels, definitely infatuated, and becoming disenchanted with Kash (if he wasn't already.)

Mickey clearly is into him as well because he goes to the Kash And Grab to have sex on the down low. 

And definitely offers a subtle invitation at the Milkovich house when Ian goes to “study” with Mandy.

So where I see people continuing to dislike Mickey is from how he seems disinterested in Ian. We see this because after they finish and Mickey leaves the store, Ian tries to make a joke about what just happened (because he's Ian and he's dorky like that,) and Mickey acts disinterested. Not that Ian seems to mind....

Now it's a little unclear if Mickey actually feels something for Ian at this point or if it is just physical release for him and Ian is just available to satisfy his sexual preferences and subtle (sort of). We don't really know how Mickey feels at this point because he's very good at hiding how he's feeling because all of his defenses are still up. Regardless, it's not as though Ian has expectations of them being exclusive (at least there is no impression that they discussed being exclusive). He knows that Mickey is on the down-low, he knows that it would be a bad thing for him to come out, so I think that Ian for right now is satisfied with whatever Mickey can give him, or believes that he may be able to appeal to him overtime. Again we're not entirely sure. 

I think that Ian’s monogamy with Mickey has placed some bias with some people, preferring Ian and maybe even feeling bad for him. I understand. In American society we tend to favor stable and monogamous relationships and consider that the “correct” way to handle a relationship, and that’s not a bad standard to hold necessarily. However, life, as Shameless shows us, is not so simple and 9 times out of 10 we *don’t* follow these standards for multiple reasons. For Mickey right now, he can’t offer Ian a label for what they are, or promise a steady relationship, because he is so deep in the closet and is genuinely afraid of not only coming out but even just admitting to himself that he’s gay.

What I have to say to the Mickey haters at this point with arguing his disinterest is even if that is true and even if he doesn't actually care for Ian, I know plenty of people (gay and straight) who have callous and meaningless sex, I know plenty of people (gay and straight) who have anonymous sex; and I feel there should be no judgement for it as long as both parties are aware of the circumstances and everyone is practicing safe sex. Just because Mickey is detached, and maybe at this point it is just a physical thing for him, I don't see anything wrong with that. No discussion has taken place to establish that they are exclusive or in any relationship one way or another beyond that of physical release, and in fact a boundary was set the very first time they got together. 

And they stuck by that boundary until Ian started noticing cracks in Mickey’s wall and tried to slither through in season 3. Clearly, Mickey doesn't want intimacy and at this point he's afraid of intimacy. The way I see it, Mickey has been taught over his life that being gay is wrong, being gay is disgusting, and being gay gets you beaten; so if this is just a kink, which I think he has reduced his sexual preference down to, then he can go on pretending he’s not gay as long as he doesn’t “act” gay. If there are no emotions attached, if there's no intimacy and it's just sex, he reasons it doesn't make him gay so he’s relatively safe.

 Mickey is afraid of being true to who he is. He's afraid of acknowledging who he is because of the way he was brought up, and because of what neighborhood he lives in. Keep in mind, he even fagbashes other people himself because he has been conditioned and taught to do it! So for the audience to expect him to be open and accepting of his sexuality is unfair, and unrealistic because he's simply not at that stage in his life yet. And besides, how are you going to interact with someone you're having sex with on the down low? Are you going to be intimate? Are you going to get their hopes up, or even get your own hopes up? Or are you going to keep it simple and keep it as the casual hook up you need it to be right now? Another reason I feel people are critical of Mickey in particular is because Ian is so clearly into him; he is dreamy eyed, not really thinking a lot, and he's just smiling for no reason at all. Clearly Mickey makes him happy. He is kind of a lost puppy actually, and it's really sweet and also really sad because we're not sure how Mickey feels. Some people feel like Mickey is completely disinterested, and they may be right for right now, but we don't actually know. Clearly Mickey is into him at least physically, but there is also a friendship brewing there.

 So for the audience seeing those lost puppy aspects of Ian, I think set a bar for viewers and set expectations for how Mickey should act. But Mickey is never going to act like that, even in season 5 he didn't really act like that. In season 6, yes he did, but that was completely out of character and we will not discuss that. Nine times out of ten, Mickey will never act like that. Ian also seems to feel exclusive with Mickey, because he doesn't have sex with Kash again after they start hooking up, but that is on Ian.

Another note about Ian; Ian has been very fortunate to have a family that is generally supportive of one another and tends to stick together, as dysfunctional as they may be. Despite their poverty and despite any setbacks that they have (from their mother being mentally ill, their father being a drunk, their older sister being their caretaker, Etc,) Ian has the privilege of a very inclusive family whereas the Milkovich family is very conditional. You are probably expected to help out with the family business, and to be useful. The Milkoviches do stick up for each other which we see with Mickey’s first introduction, defending Mandy and we see later when Iggy sticks by Mickey no matter what, but something tells me that Terry is *not* the person who raised them to be that way. Something tells me the Milkovich children banded together to protect each other against an abusive father and the rough neighborhood and environment they live in. That being said, Mickey can’t feel as open, even around his sister and Iggy who both end up being fine with it, because he has no confidence in how they will react or if thing will be safe for him.

The bottom line of this episode I leave you with is, think if you were in Mickey’s shoes and you were taught that being gay is wrong, and in fact you were taught growing up to fagbash and threaten the safety of gay people, then how would you feel about your sexuality? It's already hard enough coming to terms with your sexuality regardless of your family and social environment, regardless of anything really! Imagine having that pressure to be straight because it’s the only right way to be but no matter how hard you try you can’t be? 

That is all I have for 1x08! As always please send me an ask or a submission if I missed anything or even if you feel like I’m completely wrong! 

Until next time, lovelies!

Get the full analysis

[its-a-queer-thing]

Blog/Personal Update!

Sorry I’ve been pretty much running on my queue here lately. Things got really busy with school so sadly I had to stop making new content. Here’s just a little update:

#GallavichMatters was awesome! I’m sorry if I didn’t post something someone posted here, I promise it’s not that you were ignored, I just didn’t see anything at all. I tried numerous searches and genuinely didn’t find anything. I did look though, I swear! On Twitter, though, I saw a lot of people making awesome posts and RTing people’s stuff, we started using #Shameless as well and that’s when things picked up as far as online traffic goes so I think some people saw some pretty great content. It was a supportive and overall positive experience, I think. 

Upcoming, one of my mutuals on Twitter wants to do a #GallavichForever event on New Years Eve! So if you aren’t busy, definitely make some #GallavichForever posts at 9 EST!

I am finally done with fall semester and just spent a week with my family (Shout out to @southernfriedblondebitch who I met in person as well!! Girl, I wish we had more time but I already can’t wait until next time!!) and am now back home ready to prep some awesome Gallavich content! 

For any of you who are curious, I got all As for the first time in my life (THANK CHRIST!) and have very high recommendations from all of my professors for the Graduate program, which I will be applying to this semester! :) My thesis turned out beautifully and I will continue improving it through the upcoming semester and will be looking at conferences and journals to present/submit to, so wish me luck there!

So what is upcoming for Fckyeahgallavich:

I set up a YouTube channel specifically for FYG because… well, why not? But also because southernfriedblondebitch and I are working on something fun that I think y’all will enjoy. It’s not quite ready but we will announce what that is about soon, I’m sure :) We just don’t want to have a gap in this project like with my ICYMI and MRM posts.

I’ll also be fixing some problems with my published videos that have been bugging me for a while and will re-upload them to the new channel as well as work on some new videos.

As far as writing goes, I am working on the gift exchange piece and then will dive right into those prompts. I currently have four and they all sound awesome and can’t wait to get to work on them! :) Then my own pieces will be updated this summer at the latest depending on how quickly the new semester gets into full swing.

For ICYMI and MRM posts, I will not be updating those for a while simply because I want to focus on the YouTube channel and fic writing for now. Those projects will continue, I promise, but for now they are on hold simply because I don’t want to feel rushed and don’t want to miss anything as I did towards the end there.

If anyone has any other questions, please submit an ask any time! :D

[its-a-queer-thing]

Hi!! I just freaking love your analysis on each episode of gallavich, but for some reason when I click of full analysis I can't read some😢, I don't know what I am doing wrong, can you help me please😉, thanks!! 😊

Oh no! If you are referring to my “Get the full analysis” at the end of the posts it may just be that the hyperlink didn’t attach right OR if you are on mobile then it won’t work because it redirects you to another page so it will redirect you to my main page. The “Get the full analysis” hyperlink just directs you to the masterpost/list of ICYMI posts so you’re not necessarily missing any content from that particular post or episode.

 If you’re on mobile what you can do is search “ICYMI” from my blog and it’ll pull up any time I tagged ICYMI. :) If you aren’t on mobile and are still having this problem let me know which posts you’re struggling with and I’ll fix it.

Thank you so much! I’m glad you enjoy them and I hope that helped you! 

Much love!

[its-a-queer-thing]

What are your top Mickey complaints/What are some of the complaints you see most often?

As I continue working on my ICYMI posts I realize that because I have no huge complaints about Mickey myself, I may be missing some arguments because of things I’m not seeing. Though I try to be thorough and think I have been, there may be some things that some people find offensive/not okay that I don’t even acknowledge as something that could be taken that way. 

So, if you yourself have any complaints about Mickey (or Ian or Gallavich) or have encountered any complaints about Mickey (or Ian or Gallavich), please reblog/comment to let me know! If you yourself have complaints about Mickey but don’t want to start a huge debate/discussion/set a target on your back from overzealous Gallavich fans (like myself admittedly) I invite you to send me an anonymous ask or submit a post and I promise I won’t publish it unless you ask me to. :) Because I am now ASKING for Mickey (and Gallavich) criticism I promise to keep it civil and mature because if anything, honest responses about Mickey are only going to help my analysis (and who knows? Maybe there will be that one thing even I can’t explain away?) 

And as always, ANYONE is free to message me at any time about literally anything <3

I will continue working on my ICYMI posts as I have been, this will just hopefully give my analysis a little more direction and I appreciate all input whether positive or negative.