#idek what i’m talking about anymore…

[everytimeiseeadragonirealize]

if next season of sandman isn’t season of mists and the game of you… idek man… i’m gonna go crazy. like i wanna see all hell literally break loose and get sold back to the angels. like that’s literally the most beautiful concept it’s crazy.

[keptoabysmal]

Cell eating Pacs leg in prison was like first communion in a way really

[kyluxtrashpit]

So I’m having another… let’s call it an internet crisis. A thing that typically happens when I have Big Problems I can’t do fuck all about which means now it’s time to get Really Upset about problems that are comparatively small but do affect my daily routine (sorry again for no cut, I still can’t remember how to do it on mobile and I fucking hate hate hate the desktop post editor as much as someone can hate a piece of code)

It’s… getting harder to use tumblr. This isn’t about the sidebar, I don’t actually hate the sidebar cause we used to have a sidebar on the other side and I’ve missed it every since it left, but it’s about other things. A lot of things, but I won’t get into them all right now. For me, the new post editor is just. Really fucking difficult to use. If you’re just doing an unformatted, unplanned ramble (like this) or a little shitpost, it’s fine, especially if you’re on mobile (somehow the shitty mobile editor is now less shitty than the desktop editor, how tf did that happen), but if you’ve got multiple paragraphs and literally any formatting is needed? Well, you’re fucked, quite frankly, it is the most dense and convoluted post editor I’ve seen in like roughly 2 decades spent online. I’ve never seen anything more counterintuitive and difficult to use

And I’m sitting here with all these twitter posts I want to move. Some are little and would be easy. Others are a lot longer and more complicated and would shove me into that formatting hell I despise so much (and given how much feedback and unanswered asks to wip I’ve sent with no improvements, I’ve given up hope of it ever being made better). Like god I really, really want to save those posts but is it even worth it to do it here? But where else would I do it?

And the secondary layer too is… there’s no fucking posts here. No engagement on posts either most of the time. 90% of my posts come from my archive cause the kylux and Kylo (plus a few others I check less regularly) tags have very few daily posts and there’s hardly anything on my dash anymore. My original posts maybe get 10 notes on average, and these posts are ones that sometimes got near triple digit rts alone on twitter. Just seems there’s exceptionally few people here to enjoy them

And I’m still on twitter. It’s slowly dwindling but it’s still slightly more active than here. I’m on pillowfort and bsky too and they are truly dead (unless you’re a furry, good on the furries for populating every site in existence). There’s just. Nothing anymore. Maybe my fandoms are just dead but it feels like the meme about passing around the same $20 among friends cause capitalism is destroying us except with posts and likes

Idk. I feel like I don’t have an online home anymore. 90% of my socializing is online and 100% of my creativity is expressed through fandom and. I don’t know where to do that anymore. I have friends I chat with on discord and I love them but it’s… it’s not the same as a whole community, you know? And now that our homes are falling apart with every sign pointing towards imminent foreclosure like. What do I do. I know I’ve been through site losses before but. It feels different. Something new and shiny always came along before the end. I fear that’s not coming and we’ll all just be lost

Idk. I don’t have a conclusion. Twitter is doomed. I hate how the new owners are running on tumblr and I’m still posting here more out of a desperate desire to remember what community felt like than any real actual want to do so. The new sites have nothing going on. Idk. I feel lost. And maybe it’s the 15 other problems I have going on right now and hormones and shit but. I just don’t know what to do and I’m scared of what the future looks like for online communities and how alone I’ll be if I lost them (even though in reality I already have lost them aside from a small handful of people)

[kavehater]

People for some reason always like to tell me that it’s nobody’s responsibility to “save me” which is so fucking stupid to tell me because where have I ever implied that ?! It’s so unfair to hear that because clearly you don’t know shit abt me if you say that. But why am I the only one who gets to hear that ?! Maybe for once I’d like to be saved maybe it’s not a sin to want that, and I think that it is peoples responsibilities to do better but no. The reason it doesn’t happen is because I’m simply not worth it.

[milesmolasses]

they’re just people (42miles x african!reader)

— this was a request that I very stupidly deleted

— idek how I fricken did it bruh just read the fic 😭

— miles is nervy cause he’s meeting ur family.

— ⚠️: unedited, reader and miles are aged up to be 17-18 (because it makes sense. what african parent do you know who is letting their child date at 15??), miles having a cute moment with his mom <3

— “senator style” dressing is very common among men in nigeria. look it up and you’ll see what i’m talking about

“you need to calm down.”

you could feel the anxiety radiating off of your boyfriend from a mile away as he was pacing up and down your room, while throwing around a bean bag he found in your drawer. he had quietly snuck in through a window while you were getting ready just to rant to you about how nervous he was.

a birthday party.

your mother had told you to bring him to a birthday party being held for your cousins at a venue. she thought it would be a nice idea to see how he would interact with the rest of your family (and to see if he was any good with children.) in miles' head, he was hoping for a small get-together like you had when you met his mom and uncle.

as he came over to you and and wrapped his arms around your waist he said, “mami, tell me to calm down one more time and I might explode.”

“eww don’t do that I don’t wanna have to clean up your guts,” you joked as you turned to kiss his cheek.

turning around in his arms, you pushed him away from you slightly to examine what was in front of you. miles was freshly dressed in a matching blue “senator style” shirt and pants. you reached for his newly braided braids as you brought them forward to lay on his shoulders. “you look extremely handsome. they’re going to like you, okay?”

he huffed as he rolled his shoulder back, a little tense from all the worrying he’s been doing. “okay.”

when miles snuck out your window and went back to his own home, his mother caught a glimpse of what he was wearing.

“wow, te ves bien. where are you going?” his mother asked sounding impressed by how her son had cleaned up so nicely.

“i’m meeting the parents…” he mumbled looking at the floor. she could tell his nerves were getting the best of him by how his eyes were darting around the room and not maintaining eye contact.

“oh wow, that’s why you’re dressed like this huh?”

“yup”

Rio sighed as she went up to her son, placing both her hands to rest upon his shoulders.

“miles, you listen to me. they are just people. they can’t hurt you, okay? and judging by the person they raised, they’re good people,” she reassured him the best she could as she slid her hands down his arms, rubbing small circles to sooth him.

“what if they don’t like me?”

Rio sighed as her eyes darted to the side, thinking of what to say. she suddenly stepped away from miles as she put her index and thumb on her chin. she began to circle around miles, examining everything about him.

miles could only stand there confused as to why his mom was inspecting every inch of his body. “uh.. ma?” she put a finger to her lips to shush him, still looking and studying him while deep in thought. until she finally came to a stop right in front of him.

“mmk now, ask me what I see when i look at you.”

“ma w-what are you-”

“shhh play along! now ask me what I see, ¡vamos!”

miles threw his arms up and let them fall down in defeat. “fine, what d’ you see mami?”

Rio smiled as she grabbed her sons hands into her own.

“I see the boy I raised,” she explained. “I see him in all his glory on his way to navigate the world he’s been given.”

"I see him trying his best understand what it means to have feelings — what it means to love someone. I see someone who cares enough to immerse himself in a different culture than the one he has all for the sake of a special someone."

she looked down as she continued, “I see a talented, intelligent, kind, respectful little boy who’s not so little anymore. I see someone I couldn't be more proud of, and y’know what—?” she lifted her head so her eyes could meet his, “if they can’t see what I see, están locos.”

miles couldn’t help the soft smile he had on his face as he looked into her sincere eyes. pulling his mom into him, he hugged her and gave her a small kiss on her head.

“te quiero, mami”

“ay mami please I gotta go-!”

“in a minute!”

you stood outside smiling with your hands crossed over your chest watching the scene in front of you; miles mother trying to make him look more presentable by straightening out his shirt and tucking away any miss placed hairs on his head as best as she could.

when she finally kissed her son goodbye and started her way back to the bus stop, she quickly waved and smiled at you before speed-walking to catch the next bus. there were people from your family all outside the venue, chatting each other up and taking pictures, and suddenly this all felt very real to miles.

taking a deep breath, he crossed the street and made his way over to you.

“hi baby,” you swiftly linked your arm around his and gave him a small kiss on the cheek.

“damn, how many people you got in your family ma?” he took a quick look inside through the windows and saw a hefty amount of people, which didn’t make this any easier for him.

“don’t worry, most of these people aren’t actually family. they’re more like family friends who we call aunties, uncles, and cousins,” you explained.

“okay okay, yeah sure,” miles let out a breath that he didn’t even know he was holding in. he started to look around at all the people outside the venue: they all looked so extravagant in long fitted dresses, and in suits that matched or looked similar to what he was wearing. all of the adults mingled with each other, and children were beginning to group off and mess around.

miles felt a bit like a fraud; like he didn’t belong there. this was all new territory for him. of course he had a few african friends in middle school, but he never really had to face their culture head-on like he was now. when he tried listening to what people were saying, he heard a few english words incorporated into their sentences, but he hadn't a clue on what was being communicated.

he couldn't stop the doubts that began to cloud his mind as he looked around him. doubts that he wasn't the kind of guy your parents wanted you dating, that he couldn't live up to their expectations. doubts that told him in big bold letters, "you don't belong here."

miles' facial expressions and body language often gave away what he was thinking, so when you noticed him begin to shrink slightly, him rapidly tapping his thigh, and his lip twitching slightly, you saw right through him. grabbing his hand, you gave him a small squeeze of affection, and soon enough, you were leading him through the doors of the venue, dodging people and children as you made your way through.

you led him right to your table which your parents saved for you and your siblings, plus miles.

as he saw your parents seated at the table, the first person he noticed was your father's presence. he took notice of the stoic look on his face, and his hand on the table which was intertwined with your mother's.

"hey guysss," you greeted with a smile as you dragged miles over to the table. "this is milesss, the boy I was telling you about."

you could feel miles tense ever so slightly as his father held his gaze.

"good evening sir, my name is miles," he introduced himself with a small smile.

“thank god this boy even knows how to greet,” your father said while nodding in approval.

when he reached his hand out for miles to shake, miles thought to himself, “okay, making progress.”

taking his hand, he gave a firm handshake to your father to which he nodded in approval again. turning to your mother, he extended his hand and said hello and was met with a softer touch and welcoming smile.

“I like your hair,” she mentioned, her hand gesturing to the two braids rested on his shoulder.

miles smiled as he look down to his braids. “thank you, my mom actually does these for me.”

“tell her i said she did well,” she complimented.

“please, sit down i’m sure the food will soon be ready, and then we will see what we can take home with us,” your mother mumbled that last part directed to your father, but you still heard and laughed.

“so, miles, we have been told many good things about you. you want to study physics?” your father asked.

miles squeezed your hand under the table, eyebrows raised in shock. “you guys talk about me?” he felt his heart swell at the mental image of you even mentioning him to your parents — especially your mom.

“of course na, our daughter comes up to us and tells us she’s been seeing a boy — how can we not talk about you?” your mother asked rhetorically. you could see the small almost unnoticeable smirk etching onto miles face. he would never let you hear the end of this.

after almost half an hour of talking, laughing, (mainly between you, miles, and your mother), and getting to know one another, miles started to feel much more relaxed. words started flowing out of him much easier than before, and he even managed to make your dad crack a smile with one of his silly jokes. miles nerves and doubts slowly but surely began to dissipate as the night went on; relief washed over his entire body.

it wasn't until your mother covered him in a layer of fear 4x as heavy as the one he just washed off.

“ah! see your cousin!” you mother told you. you looked in the direction she was looking and saw a toddler running around and giggling.

“why don’t the both of you go and say hi!”

she knew exactly what she was doing.

— bro idk what’s wrong but I really don’t like this (¬_¬)

— but I tried

— idek why but i think the other one was SOOO much better

[boydepartment]

Hii. So can you write sim for Hoon where like him and reader are ice skating partners and aren’t really the biggest fans of eachother but they end up kissing once or twice but reader tries to go back to how they were before but SH wasn’t having it. IDK💀 Idek if you write this kinda stuff

stfu - park sunghoon x reader (skating au)

a/n: i have never ice skated in a professional way in my life nor done competitive sport anything. SO IM GONNA TRY MY BEST! :3 also! i am totally okay with writing stuff w smooching :) i just wont write smut so you’re all good anon i pinky promise

warnings- annoyances to lovers, bickering, i wouldn’t really call it angst, kissing obviously lolz kinda open ended and i am open minded to doing a pt 2 this time

wc- 400-500

MASTERLIST

park sunghoon was annoying.

and hot, but mainly annoying. when you found out you had to work with him because your managers wanted a collaboration between the both of you, both you and mr. annoyingly hot were not pleased with the information.

obviously you were both in competitive skating and anything and every opportunity was a competition

it was weird though having to work on this competition together as a team.

you sat down on the bench after a somewhat successful practice with him. he really was professional on the rink. you took a swig of water.

“you need to practice landing more. you almost fell, i saw your leg shake.” sunghoon sat next to you.

your eye twitched and you went to stand up with your bag, “you’re not my trainer or manager.”

“yeah but like it or not i’m your partner right now.” sunghoon looked up at you, you looked down at him, “the last thing i want is for you to fuck this up for the both of us. because i know im not going to mess it up.” he stood up and placed his hand on your shoulder, “so please take-“

you slapped it away and kept glaring at him, “i’ll see you tomorrow.”

that’s how your interactions went for almost every practice, he would nitpick you, you’d bite back, he’d be snarky, and you’d both go home.

that was your relationship. until one practice where things got a WHOLE lot more complicated.

you were waiting outside to get picked up after practice, it was a warmer spring day and you were enjoying the balance between the cold of the rink, and the warmer night air.

“do you need a ride?”

you looked over and saw sunghoon, “i have someone picking me up.” your phone buzzed and your ride was apologizing profusely, cancelling on you.

“looks like you don’t anymore. did you annoy them that bad?” sunghoon asked looking over your shoulder.

“fuck off, sunghoon.” you turned your heel preparing to go wait for the bus but he softly grabbed your bag.

“i’ll give you a ride home.” his voice was stern.

“okay why?” you flipped around, you weren’t impressed by this gentlemanly act.

sunghoon looked at you, “it’s nighttime and you’re walking to the sketchy ass bus stop by yourself. let alone riding the bus by yourself. it’s late.”

you looked at him, “okay and you don’t think i could handle myself?”

“walking alone and taking a sketchy bus is dangerous for anyone. plus if someone wanted to kidnap you they’d let you go in 5 minutes tops because you yap too much.” he said simply, turning around to start walking. you followed him angrily.

“i don’t yap! you’re fucking ridiculous! you talk more than i do!”

“no i don’t. you asked for an explanation i gave you one.”

your shoes were loud on the concrete and it made sunghoon laugh slightly.

“you’re so fucking annoying! i can handle myself!” you don’t know why but you were following him to his car, he was right about the bus and you already had bad experiences. but lying was better than admitting he was right.

“mhm.” sunghoon hummed and unlocked his car, walking to the passengers side to presumably open the door for you.

“i can open the door myself! i’m perfectly capable of-“

you were cut off by him pinning you to the car by your waist. your breath hitched.

“perfectly capable of what?” he asked, his eyebrow perked up ever so slightly.

you went to speak but he beat you to it, “i easily just pinned you to the car, and you can’t do anything about it. what makes you think i’d let you walk home or take the bus alone?”

you felt yourself not being able to talk, looking at him with wide eyes, your heartbeat on fast forward.

“like i said a few weeks ago, whether you like it or not, you’re my skating partner right now and i’m not letting you be reckless because you’re too fucking stubborn to think about anyone but your burning hatred for me.” his grip tightened slightly before loosening.

“who said i hated you? and who said i think about you?” your spark of annoyance came back.

he chuckled and looked away, his side profile and laugh making your knees buckle ever so slightly, “no one has to tell me for me to just know y/n.”

sunghoon looked back at you and leaned down to your level, “no one has to tell me for me to know that i drive you fucking crazy on and off the rink.”

your whole face contorted in anger and you placed your hand on his collar before he leaned in more to crash his lips into yours.

all you remember is how your hands felt in his hair and the feeling of his hands sneaking under the bottom of your shirt to softly touch your bare waist.

after that night, right after practice you would already have an uber waiting for you. you wouldn’t run into him. you’d avoid him after work hours. and act professional on the rink.

after the practice the night before the competition you walked to the bathroom. you wanted to take a breather and wash your hands. when you looked up in the mirror you saw sunghoon standing against the stalls.

“what the fuck are you doing in here? this is the girls bathroom!”

“rinks closed. closed practice remember?”

you turned around and leaned on the sink, “so you waited for me in here like a fucking creep?”

“you’ve been avoiding me, why? that’s not very good chemistry for the competition…” he shook his head disapprovingly and walked toward you.

“so you only kissed me to focus on that? work?” you scoffed and looked away, “very typical of you sunghoon.”

he pulled you closer to him just like he did that night, “no. you’re not just some business partner to me. obviously i like you and i refuse to sit back and not let you at least be aware of that.”

“you what…?” you breathed out.

sunghoon chuckled again before leaning down to you, his lips so close to touching yours, “do i need to repeat myself? i like you. cancel your stupid uber and i will give you a ride home.”

he pulled away from you and started walking out of the bathroom, “we’re going out to get food too. hope you like western food.”

“o-okay…” you mumbled touching your lips before he fully walked out.

what the fuck was going on?

[graciegoeskrazy]

i'll give you one more time

part 2 to she's begging you to stay stay

Matty Healy + preteen!lost!daughter!OFC!r

warnings: idek yall, language i think, dead mom, slightly shitty dad, this isn't even my usual angst this shit is just SAD, r is twelve

a/n: long awaited part 2! enjoy!

The ride home was a heavy, suffocating silence, the kind that pressed down on your chest and made it hard to breathe. Every ounce of your willpower was spent keeping the tears from spilling over, your eyes stinging as you stared blankly out the window. You couldn’t even begin to comprehend why you’d acted the way you did. Yes, times were tough, and you were teetering on the edge mentally, but surely there were other ways—better ways—you could’ve handled things. Yet, none of that mattered now. The only thing consuming your thoughts was how Matty would react when the two of you finally walked through that door.

The day had dragged on, filled with more emotion and exhaustion than either of you could have anticipated. Matty knew that a conversation was inevitable, that you both needed to talk—really talk—but as he glanced at you, he realized now wasn’t the right time. 

You were a mess, physically and emotionally. Your hair was tangled, matted with dirt from your adventure on the London streets, and your clothes were no better, stained and disheveled from the day’s events. It was clear that you were drained, the weight of everything you’d been through etched into your weary features.

Matty sighed, feeling a pang of guilt for what you’d endured, but also a deep sense of protectiveness. He wanted to fix everything, to make it all better, but he knew that right now, the best thing he could do was to give you a chance to breathe, to decompress. The conversation could wait—tonight, what mattered was getting you cleaned up and comfortable.

The silence between you became too much to bear. Matty gently placed a hand on your shoulder, stopping you before you could head inside. “Hey,” he said softly, his voice cutting through the quiet. “I’m not mad, okay?”

You stopped in your tracks, turning to face him, your eyes clouded with guilt and confusion. “I ran away, Matty. I scared the shit out of you—”

“Yeah, well, you’re safe now. That’s all I care about, okay?” he interrupted, his tone firm but laced with concern.

You shook your head, frustration bubbling up inside you. “You should be angry.”

“I’m not—”

“You should be yelling at me, kicking me out of your house, something!” The words spilled out before you could stop them, along with the tears in your eyes, the rawness of your emotions catching both of you off guard.

Matty’s expression softened, a mix of sadness and disbelief crossing his face. “What makes you think I would do that?”

“I don’t know,” you mumbled, your voice cracking as you tried to hold back tears. “I just… I don’t know.”

Matty sighed, stepping closer and gently tilting your chin up so you’d meet his gaze. “Listen to me, Tilly. I’m not going to kick you out, and I’m not going to yell at you. I’m just glad you’re here, that you’re safe. We’ll talk about everything, but not right now. Right now, I just want you to take care of yourself, okay?”

“Go take a shower,” Matty said softly, his thumb brushing a stray tear from your cheek. “Get some rest. We’ll figure everything out later.”

You hesitated, the weight of the day pressing down on you, but finally, you nodded. The fight had drained out of you, replaced by a deep exhaustion that made it hard to argue anymore.

 You looked up at him, eyes heavy with exhaustion, and nodded without argument. There was no energy left to resist, no fight left in you for tonight. The promise of a hot shower and a bed was all you needed.

Matty watched as you trudged upstairs, each step slower than the last, and he felt a knot of worry tighten in his chest. He wanted to say something, to offer comfort or reassurance, but the words wouldn’t come. Instead, he silently vowed to be there for you when you were ready to talk, whenever that might be. As you disappeared down the hallway, Matty lingered for a moment, running a hand through his hair. The house was quiet now, the kind of quiet that felt heavy, like it was waiting for something to happen. But for now, he decided, it was enough to let you find some peace, even if only for a little while. He made his way to the living room, sinking into the couch with a weary sigh. The day had taken its toll on him too, but his thoughts were with you. They always were. The sun was setting outside, casting long shadows through the windows, and Matty closed his eyes for a moment, letting the quiet of the house wash over him. Tomorrow would bring its own challenges, but tonight, all that mattered to him was that you were home and safe.

—-------

You’re asleep, lost in a dreamless world where the weight of reality has, for a moment, lifted. As your father started the trek back to his room, he noticed the light peaking through the crack beneath your door, to him, indicating you were awake. He let out a soft sigh and took a detourour to your room. He knocked, “Matilda.” You don’t stir. Your name, the one your mother gave you, is still new on his tongue even after all this time, as if he’s trying to make sense of it, to make it his own. There’s a slight pause, and then he speaks again, his voice lower, softer. “Matilda George. It’s late, you should go to bed.”

There’s no response, only the sound of your steady breathing as you lie curled under the covers, the peaceful rise and fall of your chest the only movement in the room. Matty hesitates at the door, the silence stretching out between you. Finally, with a sigh, he pushes the door open wider. “I’m coming in.”

The door creaks open, and a soft, golden light spills into your room, touching the edges of your bed. His footsteps are careful, almost hesitant, as he crosses the threshold into your room. He stands there for a moment, just watching you sleep, his expression unreadable in the dim light. You’re completely unaware, lost in the depths of slumber, oblivious to the fact that he’s here, that he’s looking at you with something akin to longing.

And then his gaze shifts, catching on something beside you—your diary, lying open on the bed. He hadn’t meant to look, but the way the pages fall open, revealing your handwriting, draws his eyes. Curiosity tugs at him, and before he can think better of it, he reaches down, picking it up.

His eyes scan the words you’ve written, the pages filled with all the things you’ve been too scared or unsure to say out loud. The confusion, the loneliness, the raw ache of trying to understand who he is to you and who you’re supposed to be now. He reads on, the lines blurring together, each word a glimpse into the parts of you that you’ve kept hidden away.

I used to keep track of how many days it had been since I last saw my mother. In the very beginning, I would count down to the exact hour—sometimes even the minute. I’m not sure why I did it. Maybe it was a way to cope with my anxiety. I think I was just measuring the time until I thought my world would blow up again.

I never stop thinking about my mom. I could be laughing and having a nice conversation, and then, all of a sudden, a dark gray cloud comes and blocks my happiness. A part of me doesn’t want it to stop, though, because I’m scared I’ll forget her. In my mind, the day I go a whole 24 hours without thinking of my mom is the day I will have moved on. And I don’t want to move on. Miss Julia asked me the other day, “If you could reverse the cancer and see your mom again, would you?” I replied, “Obviously.” Then she said, “Even though you wouldn’t have Matty?” I didn’t answer.

Overall, I think that’s a harsh question for a twelve-year-old, but whatever. I know she’s right, though. Maybe I wouldn’t reverse it.

My mom was in unspeakable pain—pain that I can’t even begin to understand, pain that I hope I will never experience. I’m not sure where she is now, but I like to think it’s somewhere nice, somewhere she’s at peace. One thing I do know for certain is that she isn’t in pain anymore. She’s free. If I were to reverse things, I would be taking that freedom away from her. I would be calling her back to her pain.

I have a lot of realizations in that small office with Miss Julia. After that session, I realized that with all my thinking about how things could be or could have been, I have yet to fantasize about how life could have been if Matty had been there from the beginning. If he knew about me. If he had been my father from the start.

I don’t understand why my mother didn’t tell me about my father, or why she never told him about my existence. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t because she wanted to ‘protect me’. He’s not that bad. He’s kind. He makes me laugh from time to time. I enjoy his music, but I would never outright admit that to him. If it wasn’t for him being my literal father, I’d say we could be twins. But still, she never said a word to him.

I know it’s not because she was ashamed and tried to keep me a secret, but that thought always crosses my mind whether I like it or not.

I know very well that I said I didn’t want to go home with him, and even after I agreed, I promised I would find somewhere else to stay. And he was fine with it. As long as he knew I was safe. The truth is, I can’t imagine growing up anywhere else. I don’t think I want to.

I want to be with my father. I want to call him ‘Dad’. I want him to know that I love and care for him, but I’m too terrified to. I’m also scared that if God forbid, something terrible happens, he will never know how much I love him. Because I don’t think I said that nearly enough to my mom.

I don’t know how to tell him. I don’t know how to help him. I have six years left before I’m an adult. He would have to agree to raise me for six years. That could either go really bad or good. I don’t see an in-between.

I’ve played it out in my mind. I will either get exactly what I want or nothing at all. I’m too scared to ask, to tell him that I care, so I’ll just stay silent for now. Because truthfully, I have not a single clue how to do this.

Matty read every single word of your last entry, his eyes tracing each line as if they were the most precious secrets. What struck him the hardest was the realization that if someone could peek inside his brain, take out his thoughts, and lay them side by side with yours, they would be almost indistinguishably similar. That comment about being like twins? It wasn’t far off. And every day, he was noticing it more and more.

He knew it was wrong to be reading your diary, an invasion of privacy he had no excuse for. But he couldn’t stop. He was too caught up, too addicted to the patterns of your mind—patterns that were so familiar because they mirrored his own. The pull was irresistible, like seeing a reflection of himself in your words, understanding you in a way that felt both thrilling and terrifying.

He was so engrossed in his re-reading that he didn’t notice you stir or open your eyes. When you finally took in the sight of him with your diary in hand, you froze, then rolled your eyes. “Reading my diary, are we?” you mumbled, your drowsy state adding a touch of comedy to the tension.

Matty jumped, startled by your voice, and hurriedly closed the book, pushing it aside. “I thought you were asleep!” he stammered, his guilt obvious.

“And I thought the cardinal rule of diaries was that no one else is supposed to read them?” you continued, a sly smile tugging at your lips.

He shook his head, trying to backpedal. “I didn’t read it—I swear.”

“Yeah, you did,” you shot back, the sly smile now full-blown.

“Yes, I did,” he admitted, not missing a beat, the look of defeat settling on his features. “I’m sorry.”

You looked down wearily, adjusting yourself as the weight of the moment settled in. Matty, still feeling the need to say something, continued, “I didn’t know you were a writer.”

“I’m not,” you replied simply.

Matty scoffed, shaking his head. “I don’t see many twelve-year-olds putting out words like this.”

You rolled your eyes, brushing off the compliment. “I’m not putting them ‘out.’ I’m putting them in a three-dollar notebook I got at the grocery store.”

He shrugged, not willing to let it go. “They’re good nonetheless.”

You offered him a weary, tight-lipped smile, the kind that said you were too tired to argue but appreciated the sentiment. Matty’s tone softened, almost a whisper. “Sit up for a second.”

Your eyes changed, a flicker of panic flashing as you realized he had actually read everything you wrote—all of it. You hesitated, your heart racing. “You said it was time for bed.”

“This will only take a second.” His voice was gentle but insistent. After a weary pause, you sat up, looking at him with guarded eyes. He took your hands in his, the gesture tender as he pressed a soft kiss to your temple, then looked at you, his expression serious. “You don’t have to go anywhere, Matilda.”

For a moment, the room was silent. You’d been waiting for this conversation for months, but you never expected it to happen now, like this. “Yes, I do,” you said quietly, your voice barely above a whisper.

“Where?” he asked, his tone laced with concern.

“Somewhere where I’m not in your way.” You slowly pulled your hands from his grasp, the distance between you growing in that small action.

“You’re not in my way, my love,” he said softly, trying to reassure you.

“I could be. I will be,” you insisted, your voice trembling slightly.

“No, you won’t,” he said, a bit more firmly this time.

“You don’t know that,” you whispered, doubt creeping in.

“If you’re anything like me—and you are, whether you like it or not—we’ll have some challenges,” Matty admitted, his voice thick with emotion. “But I’ve wasted so much time…and missed out on so many things over the last twelve years, Tilly. I’ll be damned if I miss one more.”

The words hung in the air between you, heavy with the weight of everything left unsaid.

You looked at him, searching his eyes for any hint of uncertainty, but all you saw was a sincerity that made your chest tighten. It was overwhelming, the idea that someone could care about you this much, could want you around despite everything.

His expression softened even more, a sadness flickering behind his eyes. “You’re not a burden, Matilda. You never were, and you never will be. I want you here, with me. I need you here.”  It was almost as if he was reading your mind.

You bit your lip, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill over. “But what if I mess up? What if I make things harder?”

Matty shook his head, squeezing your hands gently. “Then we’ll figure it out together. I’m not going to let anything get in the way now. Not even your doubts.” You felt a tear slip down your cheek, but for once, it wasn’t out of fear or sadness. It was a relief. Matty reached out and wiped the tear away, his touch gentle, like he was afraid you might break. “You’re stuck with me, babe. I don’t know what to tell you.” He said, lips pulling into a smile.

At that moment, something shifted between you, an unspoken understanding that you were no longer just two people navigating this confusing, painful world. You were a team—a family, bound together by something far stronger than blood or circumstance. It was love, pure and simple, and it was enough.

You leaned into him, letting your head rest on his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around you, pulling you close. For the first time in what felt like forever, you allowed yourself to believe that maybe things could be okay, that maybe you could find a way to be happy, despite everything.

And as you sat there in the quiet, the weight of the world lifting just a little, you knew that no matter what challenges lay ahead, you wouldn’t have to face them alone. 

You had your dad, and he had you.

[aeyunaa]

Toxic

Idek anymore y’all this post is kinda random so 😭💁🏻‍♂️…

Word count🍂 1.1k

Pairing🍂 san!dom x fem!reader!sub

Bdsm relationship?!

Smut warning ⚠️

Throat fucking, bondage, creampie, namecalling, degrading, spanking, oral!female receiving.

Guys the start of this seems sorta non/con…..idk y.

—————————————————🍂

It’s been a week.

52 missed calls over a hundred texts all from him, your relationship with him was difficult to define. Lovers? That couldn’t be it. You love him, he says he loves you but arguments break out every other two hours. You had enough so you left the house without him knowing and when he caught up he started blowing up your phone.

You roll your eyes and set your phone down looking up at the show playing on the tv in front of you.

Your phone starts ringing again. You think about it for a bit before answering the call last minute. “Hello?”.

“Y/n, please come home I’m not upset or anything. I just wanna talk…you can’t run away every time we have to deal with tension between us. We have to talk about it eventually. J-just come talk to me please.”

You sigh loudly before agreeing. “Fine, I’ll be over in ten.” You quickly hung up the phone. “Gosh I just made a terrible mistake didn’t I?”

10 minutes later

You felt your stomach drop to your ass when you knocked on the door. San opened it and the first thing he did was wrap both arms around your waist and pull you into a hug. “I was so worried”. You don’t say anything. After the hug San tells you that he cooked he closes the door as you walk in.

When you walk into the dining room you see the table neatly decorated with different displays and options of food items. You sat down and started eating, San was quiet, he walked behind you softly stroking the top of your head. He leaned in and he started kissing your neck leaving small purple hickeys. “S-San wait”. He softly pulls away from your neck, “look I’m sorry I left without saying anything I know I scared you, I just wasn’t thinking straight.” He nodded “I was just really worried…what you was childish…”. You cut him off “I won’t do it again”. “I know..” You didn’t know what he’d meant by that at the time.

8:00 pm evening

“Babe, can you help me really quick!” You heard San yell from upstairs so you stand up a dash up the stairs and down the hallway “can you get the remote? It fell behind the bed frame and my arms aren’t small enough to fit behind there. You nod before crawling up onto the edge of the bed, you rest the top half of your body against the silk sheets you slip your hands behind the bed and feel around after awhile you pull your hands out and grab onto the frame looking over at San who was totally staring at your ass from underneath your miniskirt. “There’s nothing there liar! You’re such a pervert!”. “Last time I checked you slept with this pervert” he grins cockily. You break character and crack a smile. He walks towards you and places a hand next to yours pressing his lips into yours. When you broke the kiss he quickly grabbed both of your wrists binding them together with the black leather belt he had on. “What are you doing?” He snuck both hands up your skirt, hooking the rim of your panties and tugging them off. The sudden coolness against your wet cunt made you shiver. “S-san?” He taps a finger on your thigh. You open your legs a bit wider allowing him a good look at your soaking heat. He smiles and cocks an eyebrow “why are you so wet already I haven’t even touched you properly yet.” His hands softly caress your ass, riding your skirt further up your body. Before you could register what he was doing, his hand rewarded your ass cheek with a hard spank. You whimper in pain as the spanking continues over and over again, landing in the same spot every time. The last spank was the hardest, you felt defeated, it’s most likely to leave a large bruise and it'd be difficult to sit comfortably for the next few days. He grabs both of your asscheeks, spreading them widely before lowering his head to meet your warmth. He slowly works his tongue through your folds and around your sensitive bud. Your body jolts forward further into the bed. He slid his tongue into you painting your walls saliva. San pulls away, licking his pretty lips clean.

“Come here..”. You sit up, back now leaning against the bed frame, he grabs your ankles pulling them towards himself laying you down properly. San reaches for his pants, unbuttoning them quickly before tugging them down with his boxers. “Now be a very good girl for me..” he crawls on top of you, setting his cock on your chin slightly rutting himself against your bottom lip. “Such a slutty little thing, you’re so much prettier with my cock on your face” he slightly pressed the head of his dick against the corner of your mouth and continued talking. “…but you'd look a little better if I just-“ with one quick thrust he managed to plant himself deep down your throat. He chuckles “wow look at that…”

His hands force your head against him once again, your nose pushed against his pelvis. It’s been going for way too long, you gag against his cock, taking all of him down your throat. your mascara runs down your cheeks through streams of tears. You look so helpless, and San is taking so much satisfaction in breaking you. He glances at you through heavy eyelids, his lips lightly parting, letting almost desperate moans and whines fall freely “fuck yess, choke on my cock slut.”. Mixtures of spit and cum coat your lips and chin. You felt you were going to faint, before you could San pulled out of your throat, resting his thick Cock on the side of your face. He flipped you into your stomach and you could feel him as he started to align himself at your entrance with one rough thrust, he was inside you. He started thrusting into your tight hole ramming into you like there was no tomorrow. He couldn’t hold on any longer.

His thrust grew faster and harder than the last. You scream his name each thrust, it makes him want to destroy you even more. The knot in your stomach grew as he repositioned, hitting your cervix with each thrust. He could feel himself getting close. Your breaths grow sharper as you clench around his cock, your back arches as you scream his name, the knot in your stomach released. “Fucckk y/n…your little cumdump just came all over my dick.” He continued thrusting into your swollen cunt. His body stiffened and you felt his warm liquid fill you up quickly spilling out of you as he pulled out. He grabs your bonded wrists and takes the belt off before pulling you into a warm hug. You were too fucked out too hug him back but he understood that, so he kissed your forehead before reaching over to the nightstand to turn off the light.

Send in your requests🙏🏻!!

[waterlilyvioletfog]

10 CDramas I Enjoyed Enough To Recommend!

1. Nirvana in Fire (2015) — 5/5 ⭐️ 54 Episodes. This is genuinely as good as its reputation. It is a political palace drama and it is insanely compelling. My mom agrees that this is good. You can watch it on YouTube, but I recommend watching on Viki (which you can sign up with for free) bc cdramas on YT can have weird issues with audio + I’m pretty sure the versions available on YT are heavily edited to cut out Zhang Zhehan.

2. The Untamed (2019) — 4/5 ⭐️ 50 Episodes 🏳️‍🌈 Owns me. Censored BL low-xianxia setting. None of my family believe me about how good it is because they keep seeing out of context episodes and scenes. The Untamed is something you have to just sit through. It is a boiling frog situation. Beats out #3 despite being of lower quality (look. Those special effects…) because this is my best friend my silly rabbit my blorbo my love. My stinky cheese, even. Netflix, YouTube, and Viki.

3. A Journey to Love (2023) — 4.5/5 ⭐️ 40 Episodes. A mixture of court drama, wuxia adventure, and romance. So so so many dramas WANT to be this show, to balance court politics and wuxia shenanigans and epic romance but, frankly, only AJTL manages to perfectly balance all of its genres, plots, and characters. I cried watching the end. I watched this on YouTube, but it’s also on iQIYI.

4. Love Between Fairy And Devil (2022) — 4/5 ⭐️ 36 Episodes. Xianxia romance. Despite outward appearances of trite banality and overdone tropes, this show is gorgeous, insanely compelling, and will sit with you. My mom calls this “the fairy show :D”. Suffers in pacing towards the end, but sticks the landing. Netflix, Viki, iQIYI.

5. Word of Honor (2021) — 4/5 ⭐️ 36 Episodes 🏳️‍🌈 Wuxia adventure censored BL. Lead actor Zhang Zhehan is… a bit of a touchy subject, but I still consider this one of the best cdramas I’ve watched and I do still recommend it. Like LBFAD, pacing suffers in last quarter, but sticks the landing. Netflix, YouTube, Viki.

6. Lost You Forever S1 (2023) — 4/5 ⭐️ 39 Episodes. Xianxia reverse harem romance. Now that description may not sound compelling. But. Idk how to tell you this but I’m insane about this drama. Is it ~good~? I honestly can’t say. I’m insane about it. S2 is probably gonna be a flop and kill my love for it but for now? We’re riding high, baby!! YouTube, Viki, probably iQIYI.

7. The Rise of Phoenixes (2018) — 4/5 ⭐️ 70 Episodes. Court drama/romance. Actually you know what I DON’T recommend this. But like I DO need people to watch it so I have people to talk to about it with ���� Watching this is an exercise in masochism. It is gorgeous. It is insanely compelling. Watch like. The first 50 episodes because pretty much the rest of it is just [muffled screams]. Apparently it’s coming soon to Viki which is good bc it’s not on Netflix anymore 🙃

8. Couple of Mirrors (2021) — 3.5/5 ⭐️ 12 Episodes 🏳️‍🌈 1930s Shanghai censored GL romance. Hardly the highest quality, but it’s really fun, and you know what. Does a thing have to be good, historically coherent, and have two full seasons? Is it not enough for a show to be about lesbians??? Who are wanted for murders they may or may not have committed??? YouTube and Viki.

9. New Life Begins (2022) — 3.5/5 ⭐️ 40 Episodes. Fluffy court romance. Is this actually good idek I haven’t re-watched at all. What it is is a solid, serviceable, fluffy little het court romance with Feminism 101 undergirding it all. I liked it perfectly fine. There are many kinds of women and they should all be happy and free to pursue their passions!! Women who are friends!! And you know what? So true, cute little cdrama. So true. YouTube, Viki, iQIYI.

10. The Starry Love (2023) — 3/5 ⭐️ 40 Episodes. Xianxia romance. For the most part, a lighthearted comedic romance drama. It’s cute. It’s fun. It is sometimes comically low-quality, but it’s mostly charming and I like the visuals in general. The main pairing, while fun, doesn’t interest me as much as the secondary pairing or the friendship/sisterhood aspects of it. YMMV with this one. Viki and YouTube.

Honorable mention— The Blood of Youth (2022) Probably better overall than at least a few of these entries, but I’m just still so sad abt my favorite character dying :( Could be gayer.

[idkwhatimdoingbutslay]

All I can think about right now is Cait and her ‘cycle of violence’ speech right now.

like… idek what to say.

I feel like Ambessa can’t just be talking about the Undercity with her discussions of martial law… (also thinking this is a continuation of her speech from the first teaser). It has to be much bigger than that.

And Caitlyn……… I really hope she doesn’t succumb to the idea that complete oppression is the only way for things to ‘simmer down’…. But omg if she does ….. Nah, let me be fr, WHEN SHE DOES, it’s really NOT the time. Zaunites have continued to be PUSHED to the BRINK. This isn’t Vander’s time anymore. The teachings of Ambessa combined with Grayson’s cannot and will not work. This is a new, revolutionary time of anger and power and rage.

I’m ready for Piltover to fall apart. I’m ready for the war.

[sparklingcid3r]

Do you gots any headcanons or AU ideas of the gang that are going to make me choke on my tongue, throw my phone, or rip my hair out from how angsty they are?

I’m in serious angst withdrawal and I need my dose

look no further man i gotchu covered🫡

- The phone call with Dally plays constantly through Darry’s head. He needs to be doing something or else he just hears Dally’s voice asking for help, for Darry, and to meet him at the lot. He loses sleep over it

- More on that, when they get to the lot and Dally’s dies at their feet, Darry is lunging for him but pulls away before he can reach him because of the cops already have their guns drawn on them. Darry was convinced they were going to open fire on all of them and there was no way to protect them

- Steve already has his hands in the air before any of the rest of the gang has recovered from the shock. He’s been on the business end of a police gun before, having been involved in a fight where the police got called and drew weapons on a handful of them. Steve had watched them shoot dead one of the guys he’d been tussling with and has hated the fuzz with a passion since, but always complied (if it didn’t mean snitching, he’s no rat)

- I’ve written about this before, but when Darry was dealing with the aftermath of their parents’ death he was pretty absent around the house, so Soda often caught himself thinking that Darry was going to abandon them. He’d wake up and Darry would be out the door already and he’d stumble into Darry’s room to see if it was empty of all his stuff, and seeing everything right where it should be was like having oxygen pushed back into his lungs

- Two-Bit once showed up at the Curtis house at 2 in the morning. Darry had been up, just unable to sleep, and realized quickly that Two-Bit was wasted and coming off a hard bender. He was just a mess, crying and telling Darry he didn’t know what to do anymore, Johnny was dead, Dally was dead, he even talks about his father and how fucked it was that he got another broad knocked up and ditched them

- Darry just gets him safely inside and helps him sober up. He doesn’t say much as he gives Two-Bit water and fresh clothes. There’s leftover fried chicken that Darry had made for Pony and Soda the other night while trying to cheer them up, so he reheats that for Two-Bit just to get some food in him

- Darry sits with Two-Bit and listens to him pour his heart out about how shitty his entire life has been, how he feels like he’s never been enough for his mom or his sister and he doesn’t know what he’s going to do with his life, if he even wants a future

- Darry’s quiet for most of the conversation, just letting Two-Bit go and let out everything he’s been carrying with him, all the way until Two-Bit falls asleep on the couch. Even then, Darry sits and watches over him, making sure that if he does throw up, it’s not going to choke him

- Two-Bit doesn’t remember any of it when he sobers up, and Darry just tells him he needs to lay off the alcohol for his mom and sister’s sake

idek how i feel abt some of these but if u like angst: ✨🍽️

[kavehater]

how to kys without krilling yourself ;-;

[hoe4wesanderson]

Alright, Alright..let’s talk about this man right here..

I love this man, I don’t know if I want to be him or be with him I genuinely cannot decide. He is me, I am him in every way. The author says he suspects Jean ain’t well paid, and neither am I, so..we’re soulmates.

He’s a lazy concierge, he’s dressed like he wants me to undress him and quite honestly he’s looking better than anybody else in that hotel.

I mean.. THAT HAIR? God, Jason Schwartzman ate the role up and even licked the plate clean. Every time I rewatch this movie I get excited when he comes on, I’m not really sure why maybe because he’s so cutesy 😗

Also that little bit of hair sticking up on his left is so hot, idek anymore

Honestly I don’t know what I’m even doing this is honestly just me impulsivity writing about stuff I like, kinda like a diary so feel free to ignore this. But..if you also like this mf here is a free lollipop: 🍭

[cheesesoda]

Punk Tactics.

chris x fem!reader

a/n: very loosely ib send me your location by @soursturniolo

genre: idek hurt/comfort?

summary: reader is getting harassed and chris steps in.

cw: sexual harassment, language, violence (in defense tho BUT I DONT CONDONE VIOLENCE)

—————————————————————————-

chris wasn’t a very overprotective boyfriend. he knew you could handle yourself in fact he kinda liked watching you handle yourself. on very few occasions did he feel it was necessary to step in, and when he did step in—it’s evident why he didn’t do it too often.

you, chris, matt, and nick were all at a party that nate was throwing. hundreds of bodies were pressed up against each other with how crowded it was. music blared as everybody danced.

“i’m gonna go get some drinks.” you practically yelled over the music to chris and he nodded as he kept talking and dancing with a few friends and his brothers.

when you entered the kitchen, it was much quieter. the door muffled the music coming from the rest of the house. you were surprisingly the only one in the kitchen. you got two cans of pepsi but as you were about to leave, two men walked in. you ignored their presence until one of them blocked the doorway in front of you.

“can i help you?” you ask disinterestedly. “you could say that.” he replies with a grin. “what my friend here is trying to say is we wanna have some fun with you.” the other one speaks up from behind you and you spin around to face him. “thanks but no.” you turn back towards the other one. “now will you get out of my way?” you sigh. “that’s not a very nice way to speak to me, dont you think?” he fake pouts.

you hated using the boyfriend card because you wanted to believe you could fend off creeps without it, but this was a situation that called for it. “look, i’ve got a boyfriend.” you say. “really? if i was your boyfriend i wouldn’t let you leave the house dressed like that.” he snickers. “thank god you’re not.” you scoff. “listen, bitch,” he growls, pushing you back against the kitchen counter. “i’ve had enough of your disrespect. shut the fuck up before i break your fucking nose!” the other one corners you against the counter alongside his friend.

he yanks up your dress and suddenly you can’t move. fear courses through your veins and you can’t say a word. “not so tough anymore, huh?” he says. this is it you think to yourself as he meddles with your dress. right when you think there’s nothing left to do, the kitchen door creaks open.

“y/n? are you okay?” it’s chris. you must’ve been taking a while. “chris!” you nearly cry out. when he sees the two men looming over you while glaring at him, his gaze darkens. “get away from her.” he says firmly but calm. “yeah? what are you gonna do?” one of the men sneers. “get the fuck away from her.” chris repeats, stepping closer to the men. “get lost, kid. we found her first-“ the other man dismisses chris but before he can even finish his sentence, a fist comes pounding into his face.

he staggers backwards with a groan. “you broke my fucking nose!” he screams. the other man punches chris in retaliation but chris grabs him by the collar before wailing on him. “chris!” you exclaim. the sounds of the men’s screams must’ve attracted some attention because some people came rushing into the kitchen, including matt and nick.

nick pries chris off of the guy as matt asks you what happened. “i-i was just getting drinks and they- they came in and- i said no, matt, but they just wouldn’t stop and then chris…” you pant through short, panicked breaths. “hey, y/n, breathe. it’s okay.” matt says soothingly. “matt, come on!” nick calls to matt from the doorway, still holding chris who is struggling to break free.

later that night…

you and the triplets are back at their house. chris had a few bruises and cuts and a bloody nose so you patched him up in the bathroom. you dabbed at the blood on his face with a washcloth. “you could’ve gotten really hurt, chris. what if the cops get involved?” you said softly. “i’d do it again.” he scoffed. “i should’ve done worse, to be honest.” you put down the washcloth and cupped his cheek. “chris…” you sigh. “y/n…” he mimics you. “those fucking bastards deserved every punch they got, and more. i don’t regret a thing.” he confesses and you can tell he’s telling the truth. “i just don’t want you to get hurt.” you reply. “i don’t want you to get hurt either.” he says. you sigh deeply and resume cleaning his wounds.

when you finish, you climb into bed together. a comfortable silence falls upon the room as you cradle each other in your arms. “it was kinda hot watching you beat those fuckers up though.” you confess after a couple minutes of quiet. “yeah?” you can hear the smirk in his voice. “good night.” you groan. “love you too.” he says before you both fall asleep.

[starsval]

"I'll be happy with you"

Regulus Black x f!reader

Sumary: you start fake dating Regulus so you don't have to marry some random boy.

Word count: 2k

Warnings: kissing, fake dating, mentions of arranged marriage, your mom wants you to get married(? idk), reader wears a dress once, some barty x reader?, reader is pureblood

A/N: idek if I like this but thanks to @myriadmoons for giving me inspiration to finish this <3 Also, ignore the shitty name, i didn't know what to write

You never liked those parties. Your mom was constantly telling you to act nice so someone wants to marry you –but only someone who's pureblood, of course– And those parents introducing you to his sons, like it would matter if you knew each other. If they wanted to, they could plan your wedding and tell you the day before. 

That's why you always do the same, find some pureblood guy, sneak out with him, making sure your mom sees you. Then talk to him about how you're in love with him so he freaks out and then leaves. And finally find some room where you can be alone. 

Although that last part of the plan changed some months ago, when you met Regulus. He was actually doing the same as you, sneaking out, so you started talking and helping each other. You already knew him from Hogwarts but you didn't share any classes so you never talked to him. 

That leads to your situation right now. Trying not to trip with your dress, walking to the room where Regulus is waiting for you. 

When you enter, you find him with his legs over the armrest of a chair, reading some book. 

"Hi" You say, laying down on the bed that was in the middle of the room. 

"What took you so long?" He asks, leaving the book in the chair as he lays next to you. 

"I, um, got entertained" You look away, sighting. 

"What happened?" He looks at you, the corners of his lips curving up.

"Well, I confessed, right? Then he told me he felt the same and tried to kiss me" You definitely didn't expect that. 

"What?" He isn't smiling anymore. "Did you kiss him?"

"No, I told him I was saving myself for marriage" You laugh and you see him smiling. Both of you knowing that's not true, you've kissed and made out with a lot of people in Hogwarts. "So know I'll probably have to find some excuse to tell my mom so she turns down the offer"

"Let's get married" He suddenly says. 

"What?"

"I mean, not immediately, but we can tell our parents we're dating and that we'll get married someday" He seems nervous now. 

"It's a good idea, but I don't think they'll believe us, do they even know we're friends?"

Then he suddenly gets up and drags you out of the room by your wrist. 

"What are you doing?" You say as he leads you to the dance floor.

"Make them believe it" And now you’re dancing with him, in the middle of the dance floor.

“I don’t think I’ve ever danced with someone on my own in any of these parties” You tell him, occasionally looking at your feet so you don’t trip or step on him.

“Then your mom will likely believe you, right?” He looks at you.

“Why are you doing this Regulus?” You look back at him.

“I don’t want you to marry someone just because they tell you to, I want you to be happy” You smile.

“Thank you, but will you be happy?”

“I’ll always be happy as long as I'm with you” You can’t help it but smile, before you notice your mom walking next to you.

“Who’s this lovely boy, Y/n” She asks, smiling at him.

“I’m Y/n’s boyfriend, Mrs L/n” He introduces himself to your mom.

🕸   ⊹    ⋆  

“Are you sure you’re okay with this? We could just ‘break up’, you don’t have to do that everytime someone asks you out” Regulus tells you, after painfully watching you as you tried to turn down a boy’s offer to take you on a date. You even had to resort to your last excuse; ‘Sorry, I have a boyfriend’. 

“I’m okay with this Reg, don’t worry about it. It’s not like I care that people know that we’re dating, why would I care? You’re literally you” You say half jokingly, looking up and down at him. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He asks you, fighting the blush to not show in his face.

“I actually didn’t want to go on a date with him” You ignore his question, holding his hand as you lead him to your usual place at the Slytherin table. 

“What was that supposed to mean?” He asks again, oblivious to the look Sirius is giving both of you from the door. Watching as you stop Regulus from throwing a fork at you, while he keeps repeating the question as you ignore him. Sirius watches him smile like he’d never do in a while, with your hands on top of his, trying to not laugh as he keeps insisting.

He had heard something about it, but he didn’t believe it. Not until now, not until seeing his smile, his laugh, the way he looked at you. 

“He did it, Moony. He actually got the girl” Sirius whispers as he looks back at his brother, letting Remus drag him at his house table.

🕸   ⊹    ⋆  

Sirius waits for the perfect moment to approach Regulus. In the middle of a hallway, when he has no escape. 

"I'm so proud of you" He says as he hugs him, after they stare at each other in silence for at least a minute. 

"For being the better looking brother?" Regulus asks him, sarcastically, he doesn’t return the hug, but he doesn't move. 

"What? You're definitely not the- I'm not talking about that! You're finally dating her!" He says, breaking the hug, but shaking him as he talks, with his hands on his brother's shoulders. 

"Oh, that, it's not like that" He admits, looking at the floor. "It's just so, we don't have to marry anyone else, she didn't want to marry some random boy so-" 

"What? But you like her! And she likes you!" Sirius frowns. 

"I don't- She doesn't-" 

“You do like her! Since second year! You just kept talking about her. You would get so red, I actually thought you had a fever once. And just because she called you Reg” Sirius fights the laugh as Regulus looks away.

“And all you said was ‘Damn, you're really all over her’.” Regulus talks, sighing as Sirius stops fighting his laugh and just laughs at him right in his face.

"And she likes you! We're not a hundred percent sure about that but you definitely like her. Remember when you came running to me the first time she touched your hair? Or your hand? I had to call Remus because I thought you'd faint!" Regulus rolls his eyes at the comment. 

"Thanks for helping me get over her" Regulus says, walking away to his next class.

"Hey, you're already dating, you just have to do it, for real, you know" Sirius follows him, smiling.

🕸   ⊹    ⋆  

“Hi, I know you’re fake dating my brother, wouldn’t you like to really date another Black?” Sirius says, sitting next to you at the Slytherin table, where you were waiting for your boyfriend.

“Narcisa? She’s really pretty actually-” You act clueless, smiling innocently at him.

“Now I understand why you get so along with Regulus…” He sighs, leaning closer into you. “Anyway, I was obviously talking about me, the better looking brother”

“I mean, no offense, you’re definitely good looking, but the better one…?” You ask, not moving closer to him, but neither moving away.

“So, definitely… I can work with that” He smiles, leaning even closer when he sees his brother approaching you.

“That's all you’re gonna get from that sentence?” You ask him, moving a bit when Reg sits next to you.

“It’s all that matters” He looks at his brother, smiling even more. “Your girlfriend here thinks I’m definitely good looking” He informs, winking when he looks at you. 

When you see Regulus' tightened jaw, and look back at Sirius, you get what he’s trying to do. He’s trying to prove a point, that Regulus may like you(you already had your suspicions, because, who agrees to marry his best friend that easily? apart from someone who’s in love with them –aka, you–). And you don’t know how to react, because, well, you get flustered just from the thought of it.

“Do you?” Regulus asks you, taking you back to reality. 

“I mean, yes-” He suddenly gets up, trying to walk away. “But I also said that you look better than him” You mutter the last part, looking away. Which helps Regulus, since he doesn’t have to try to hide his flush anymore. 

Regulus stares at his brother, possibly planning his murder. But before he can try, Remus appears to save you.

“We have prefect duties” He says, and you get up as soon as you can, leaving the lovely brothers behind.

🕸   ⊹    ⋆  

You were honestly too flustered to talk to Regulus after. Because fake dating him was a thing, but telling him he’s hot? You couldn’t deal with his face right now. You wanted to stop thinking about it, about the fact that you might have to break up, so things don’t get uncomfortable. You wanted to get distracted.

And that leads you to your situation right now. Dancing in the middle of a party, this time, alone, in the Gryffindor common room. 

You were dancing next to Pandora, ignoring the looks Barty –he’s one of the few who knew about the fake relationship– was giving you, until you got tired and decided to go get a drink. Once you got to the table, Barty was next to you

“Hi” He says.

“Hi” You don’t look at him, instead, you focus on the party in front of you.

“Do you want to smoke outside?” He asks, leaning on your ear.

“Okay” Then he grabs your hand and leads you to one of the balconies of the castle. You stay there, passing the cigarette between the two of you, talking about the school and gossiping. You were looking at the woods, with your forearms on the railing, and Barty was backwards to the woods, with his back on the railing. 

"You know, you're really beautiful" He suddenly says as he looks at you. 

"Thanks" You look back at him and smile, getting closer to him. 

Your lips are almost touching his when the door opens, you pull apart from Barty and look at Regulus, who's looking at him. 

Barty clears his throat and walks to the door. 

"I'll see you later" He smiles at you and walks away. 

You wave at him and look at Regulus, annoyed. 

"What was that for?" You ask, copying Barty's earlier position. 

"You were going to kiss him" He gets closer to you. 

"I know, that was the point" 

"Why?" He stands in front of you. 

"I don't know what you want me to say" You suddenly get nervous, I mean, you hadn’t talked since Sirius had approached you, and he has never been this close while you two were alone.

"What makes you want to kiss people?" He touches your check with his fingers. 

"Well- normally when I'm attracted to them… " You feel your face heat up by the touch of his hand. 

"I want to kiss you" He confesses, grabbing your face.

"Then do it" 

He grabs your face and puts his lips on yours. You grab the railing with one hand as the other one goes to the back of his neck. He gets closer to you and his hands go to your waist. 

He kisses you in a desperate way, and you know that he's been waiting to do this since he met you. He grabs your waist strongly, afraid that you're suddenly going to disappear.

When you're both gasping for air, you pull apart, but your hands don't leave his neck. 

“What do I do when I like someone?” He asks, his hands not leaving your waist.

“You ask them out” You say, smiling.

“What if we’re already dating?” He also smiles, before kissing you again. “I couldn't stand it, I'm sorry. I know we're dating in front of our families, but I like you for real. And everyone's here trying to date you, and it felt good knowing that you were with me in a way, but I want to be with you in every way, in front of everyone, I want to be your real boyfriend" He says. 

"At least you asked this time" You smile and give him a quick kiss. "I'd love to be your real girlfriend too"

[the-inheritance-games]

Ok so I was going to post my theory on why I thought jlb was going to announce a new book/novella as the last card later today but then of course this amazing fandom somehow got a synopsis and found it on good reads idek how, but I was going to post this breakdown from evidence I gathered from stalking jlb’s insta but now I’m posting it to show a timeline of when she was Writting this book and how much of a mastermind jlb is.

This going to be long so buckle in

Ok so let’s begin on October 3 2022, jlb announces TBH as the new book in the TIG universe, single handedly returning my will to live after the heartbreak I endured when Grayson ended up even more sad and alone in TFG 😭

Then we fast forward to Dec. 14 2022, we see that jlb is Writting the Grandest games.

Fast forward even more and we start getting updates about how the book is going and about her Writting process (scroll 2)

And then on March 10 2023, she turns in the first draft of TGG

This is where things get interesting, mind you at this point we know about TBH and TGG openly, but she starts talking about another secret project she’s working on, using #secret project, (March 20, 2023) (scroll 3)

She also says that she has been working on this on and off for 2.5 years (from March 2023), which if you go back is late 2020-early 2021. Which also happens to be right around the same time she was writting THL (wrote tig in 2019, released in 2020, wrote thl in 2020, released in 2021, etc)

Why is this fact important?

Bc jlb has openly stated that thl is the book she has planted the most clues/ Easter eggs in. It’s also arguably the best and most important book in the triology. (Argue with the wall if you disagree)

It’s the book where we get the most backstory and information on who this family is. I can imagine jlb Writting the book and delving into this world and, for example Toby’s past and his relationship to Avery’s mom and her past, and coming up with all these ideas she can’t really write into thl in much detail bc those events where in the past.

If she started Writting this novella, backstory, prequel, whatever during this time it would make total sense. It would also give her a chance to answer all those unanswered questions that where left while also doing us some fan service.

Now fast forward, she keeps updating on the grandest games and at the same time posting about writting this secret project, but most recently (February 7 2024) she posted this

She states that her secret project, the novella book that she has been Writting, her secret, is not going to be a secret for much longer, just a week before the vault opened, and 13 days (in Taylor swift we trust) before this all happens.

It was right there infront of us and yet we didn’t see it coming.

So yeah, she’s been Writting this book and compilation of stories for a while now, starting from when she was Writting thl. I was going to use this convince y’all her secret was a book could be a prequel but I don’t have to anymore but still I find it so interesting and I just got this out of my drafts bc why not. I had a hunch for a while but this is honestly better than I could have imagined, if it is what we are seeing :)