#idk at least half a year also i lost all my notes and outline so ive been rereading it lmao

[sucre-blue]

love getting stressed abt the projects ive assigned myself and just. not at all bothered about work assignments

[peaches-writes]

naturally

description: there’s something about bang chan, even if he’s not some senior crush you’ve pined over from the very beginning or a friend you’ve known forever, that just makes realizing that you’re in love with him as something that feels right member: chan genre: fluff, slice of life, high school au, college au, friends to lovers au, sports au (off season universe), campus dj au (if u squint), slow burn (?), fem reader word count: 12k wtf warning: explicit language, alcohol, a plot that makes zero sense note: idk what this is it’s so messy anw + @skzwriternet​

Chan came in your life quite late—both literally and figuratively.

The two of you were in the 12th grade when you met, at a time when all everyone cared about were getting into their respective dream universities and establishing a solid group of friends to call back once they’re already on their separate ways. He got stuck in traffic that day and wasn’t allowed entry past the school gates at first because he didn’t get his uniform on time while you and your group of friends were on time in class, completely unexpecting of a new addition to the group as you all worried about the upcoming entrance exams.

“Oh, look at that, new kid.” Minho nudged your elbow and whispered loudly close to you that day, gesturing to the spaces between the curtains of the window facing the hallway. Outside, Chan was being ushered to the faculty room at the other end of the hall by a teacher, head hung low in embarrassment that he stood out with his black hoodie and sweatpants. “And no uniform on the first day—I feel like we should adopt him!”

You didn’t pay much attention to it at first, shrugging before returning to your messy Homeroom notes. An election was to be held at the end of the week and maybe, just maybe, you were thinking about it. “A bit risky, don’t you think? Right before the exams.” You mused out loud, more to the classroom elections than to the transferee.

“Do you think we’ll get him?” Minho asked anyway despite the lack of interest in your tone, leaning on your side of the shared table with a propped up elbow. “Or will Dahyun and Bam’s class next door?”

The answer was given to Minho over five minutes later, when the gentle sound of your Homeroom adviser’s voice was interrupted by a knock on the door. “Excuse me, good morning, Ms. Park!” The faculty head, Mrs. Liu, peered in your room that day with Chan trailing behind with curious eyes. “I’m so sorry for the interruption but your transfer student is now here!”

In front of the classroom, Ms. Park welcomed Chan with a smile and clasped hands. “Ah yes, Bang Chan, finally! Come on in!”

Chan introduced himself in awkward giggles and a slight miscalculated step when he didn’t immediately see the elevated area separating the black board and the first row of desks. “Hi, I’m eighteen-year-old student Bang Chan and I moved here from Sydney, Australia! Please take care of me!” You remembered him introducing himself at Ms. Park’s request before being seated right next to Hansol on the other end of the fourth row.

Minho, who eyed the boy curiously the entire time, sat up properly after and told you, “I’m gonna ambush him at recess. You wanna come with?”

You knew even then that you didn’t have to answer the question because as the bell rang for recess time, Minho had dragged you over to Hansol and Chan’s table as soon as he saw you pick up your wallet.

“Hi, I’m Minho and this is Y/N and we’re about to kidnap you!” Minho exclaimed as the two of you approached the unexpecting boy, earning you wide eyes from him. “If you want to, of course. Y/N’s gonna be class president again by Friday and I’m gonna be fighting Moonbin to the death for basketball captain so we’re clearly overqualified to show you around.”

You remember Hansol toppling over in laughter while you turned away in embarrassment. Not that it was uncommon for the most nonsense things to come out of Minho’s mouth then—in fact, it was quite the opposite.

Fortunately, Chan was easily persuaded. “Uh...sure, why not?” He grinned with relief, pushing his chair away from his desk and picking up his own wallet before following you and Minho downstairs to the cafeteria.

You ended up helping him buy snacks from the cafeteria and showing him around what you deemed as the most important areas of the campus within the thirty-minute recess. Because of the short time, he met your other friends belatedly at lunch.

Chan came in your life quite late—both literally and figuratively—but you suppose it’s not that bad because you’ve been friends ever since.

Minho was ‘disappointed but not surprised’ when Chan tried out for the swim team instead of his basketball team—his words not yours.

Club Week was not actually a week but a week and a half, giving everyone time to either succeed or fail in the clubs they signed up for and move on to the next. Since you were elected Class President, you decided on sticking only to what you considered your most important clubs for senior year: Volleyball and the school paper. Minho, on the other hand, unfortunately lost his ‘fight to the death’ with Moonbin over the team captain title but he kept insisting that it was because he really was fated to be the cheer dance team’s captain instead.

“At least, it’s one less sweaty kid I have to worry about.” You jokingly assured Minho once Club Week was over. You and your group of friends were huddled on your usual table that lunch break, comparing training and review center schedules.

“Ya, what does that mean?”

“It means you’re in two sports clubs and you never shower after any one of them!” Dahyun points out for you across the table, earning her ‘ooh’s and high-fives from everyone. “You should be embarrassed, Mingyu’s on three teams and he literally showers on Febreze.”

“But I do shower, just not as religiously as everyone.” 

“Why not?” 

“Climate change!” 

You turned to Chan amidst the playful chaos, shaking your head in feigned disapproval. “Sorry, they’re five.”

The boy only chuckled. “It’s okay.”

“I’m glad you joined the school paper too, by the way.” You made sure to add, hinting that you saw him at your club assembly the week prior despite the large turn-out of people. “I heard from Jihyo at our last council meeting. Broadcasting, right?”

“Yep,” He nodded with pursed lips and an eye smile. “so you guys will hear me DJ for the rest of the year too.”

“Can’t wait.”

Chan’s first gig as the school radio’s DJ was the Friday that followed, in the middle of your student council meeting. He sounded nervous at first, which made you, Jihyo, and Seungkwan laugh while you were presenting your batch’s initiatives for the whole school year, but he made it out alive—and even included a shout out for you.

“Also, shoutout to Y/N! Thank you for showing me the ropes this month.” His voice echoed faintly through the hallways at lunch break. A pause then followed, what you assumed was Changbin and Jisung scolding him, before he snickered and said, “I guess Minho and Hansol, too! See you tomorrow, you guys!”

Ever since the 7th grade, you’ve made sure to follow each and every one of your closest friends’ extracurricular activies. From Dahyun’s and Jihyo’s recitals to Bam Bam’s and Minho’s competitions and meets, you were always there: half as a volunteer for the school paper and the other half as a cheering friend. It’s your way of looking out for your friends, by standing in the sidelines for support. 

So naturally, with the addition of Chan to your friend group, you always came to his swim meets with a camera, a write-up outline, and a tarpaulin you’re quite sure Minho and Bam Bam didn’t make while sober the night before.

“Like the slogan, dolphin boy?” Bam Bam snickered at Chan as he sat on his designated waiting area right in front of your bleacher. It was the final tournament for the semester and your two other friends have decided on a lazy ‘Let’s go Dolphin Boy!’ decorated in glitters and a Photoshopped photo of Chan’s head in a dolphin. “When are you going on?”

Chan turned to your group and immediately slapped a hand to his face in embarrassment. “Oh my God...”

“To set the record straight, Jihyo and I were studying together last night and Dahyun was at piano lessons.” You held your hands up in self-defense to an eyeroll from Minho. “The poster’s all on Bam and Minho.”

“I know.” Chan mumbled behind his hand, removing it slowly after. “I’m on in five minutes. And what happens when I do get a place on the stands?”

“Then we’ll stand up and wave this harder!” Minho answered this time, aggressively waving the cartolina and causing a few glitters to scatter on your jeans.

“Minho!”

Chan competed in 1500 m I.M. and all the butterfly relays on that day and only then did you notice that he liked competing in them more than the other categories. You took photos and noted the important details with Bam Bam’s agile typing on your phone throughout the event, up until Chan received his mostly gold medals—when Bam Bam and Minho did kept to their word and ambushed the poor boy by throwing the slogan over his head when he asked for a group photo with everyone.

“This is like the Avengers of extended friend groups!” Dahyun joked once the chaos has died down and you’ve managed to get everyone to prepare for a couple of group photos. “Now I’m even more excited for dinner!”

A couple of Chan’s childhood friends also came that day—Younghyun, Somi, Sana, Lisa, and Matthew whom you befriended after over dinner that was Chan’s treat. It looked more like a weird family reunion to you than what Dahyun thought but you laughed anyway as you adjusted your camera settings.

“Okay, you guys ready?” You asked the group once everyone’s settled down, arms slung over each other and bright smiles ready to be taken for Instagram updates. “One, two—“

At the center of the photo, with a big bouquet of roses and several medals, Chan suddenly shifted in his position under Matthew’s and Younghyun’s arms and asked you, “Wait, wait, wait...Y/N aren’t you joining?”

You shook your head, making everyone erupt in protest. “Ya, then who’s gonna take the photo?”

Minho doesn’t exaggerate it one bit whenever he recalls this that Chan literally bolted out of the group to pull in his nearest teammate to take the photo, quickly tugging you to him afterwards and positioning you right in front of him once the group photos were taken. You ended up with his arms and his bouquet draped over you in all of the photos.

With the college entrance exams fast approaching over a month later, you found yourself juggling your academics, cram school, Volleyball training, student council, and the school paper all at once. It was manageable at times, with the help of your teammates and clubmates, but of course there would be days when you would almost fall asleep on the spot at Saturday cram school, in particular.

Chan was no better as he balanced academics and cram school with his own swim training, the school radio, and preparing a portfolio for his talent exams at the Departments of Music for every university he applied to.

Fortunately, you both went to the same cram school with everyone else. Seated next to each other, you bought Chan coffee while he passed you candies and chocolate he would get from his mom through the mail.

“You, uh...” Chan nudged your knuckles with his softly one time, alternating his gaze between your open notes and the formulas being discussed on the white board two rows ahead. “The answer’s 2.”

“Hm?” You hummed tiredly, free hand supporting your cheek as you tried so hard to pay attention and follow along. The day prior was meetings upon meetings that lasted until 8:30 PM, pushing all of your time allotted for homework to midnight since you had to take the bus home. To say you were so tempted to fall asleep then was an understatement.

Knowing this, you saw Chan take the liberty of writing the correct answer on your notes through your half-lidded eyes, poking your knuckles with the end of his mechanical pencil after. “You have the whole solution down but the final answer is 2, silly.” He chuckled softly, discreetly passing you another gummy bear from under the table. “Do you even know what you’ve been writing?”

You nodded even though your brain was barely processing anything, receiving the gummy bear after. “I think so?” You mused out loud, making him laugh. 

“We’ll just have to go through this again later. You should’ve stayed at home and rested if you’re so tired.”

You found out later, when you were much awake to have lunch at a nearby cafe with Chan, that the boy took down the notes for you in a fashion similar to your note-taking technique for you to copy—and that he drew a small dinosaur on the margins of your notebook with a text bubble that said, “You can do it!”

Chan has made it a habit to bring you an extra thermos of coffee and drew little animals on your notebook whenever the two of you were bored ever since.

You showed up at Chan’s doorstep on his first Christmas Day in Korea, not really expecting to see his mom with his aunt on the other side of the door.

“Hi.” Chan mustered up a rather confused smile, growing even bigger and less shy right in front of you the longer he gazed at your own wide eyes and long travel coat. “Y/N, hi.”

“I thought you were—“ You unconsciously gestured to his extended family running around the hallways behind him, furrowing your brows. “Hi, um, should I just—should I just go?”

Chan furrowed his brows, instinctively pulling you closer to the doorway by your arm once he noticed the snow falling harder behind you. “What? Why?” He asked at the sudden proximity. “What’s up?”

His unintentionally blunt tone with the question definitely had you caught off-guard and flustered. “O-Oh, I just thought—I thought you wouldn’t be with your parents and siblings for Christmas so I came over.” You cringed internally at your truthful but rather cheesy answer. “Everyone’s skating at the mall today and I thought of inviting you because I assumed that you’d be lonely here with just your uncle and auntie...”

Another smile, an amused one, settled on his lips as you talked. “Really?” He mused out loud to which you nodded absentmindedly at. “We could go right now, if you want. My mom would probably tell me to bring Hannah and Lucas along, though, if that’s okay.”

Your eyes widened for the second time that afternoon. “W-We can, yeah.” You nodded slowly to both questions, breaking into your own smile.

“Okay, come on in first, then, it’s cold out.” Chan then took you by the same hand inside, closing the door behind him and leading you to the shoe rack for your boots. “My mom’s been looking for you and everyone else since they landed here too! You should be able to stop her from fussing over dinner so much.”

You met Chan’s parents and siblings that day, almost getting stuck in his aunt and uncle’s house because of his mom’s excitement at meeting one of her son’s friends in Korea until Chan smoothly brought up your offer of going to the skating rink with his siblings. You eventually left the house with him and his younger siblings right before Minho could text you that you were taking too long.

“You do know how to skate, right, Chan?” Minho asked when you arrived. He sat between you and the boy in question to rest his feet from racing with Dahyun, removing his skates and stretching his legs forward. “Y/N and Jihyo suck at explaining things she’s already good at and Bam Bam’s a deer walking for the first time so the choices for teacher aren’t really looking so well for you right now.”

When you looked over at him from Minho’s shoulder, he simply shrugged. “Shouldn’t be that hard. It’s just ice and blades, right?”

But it ended up being very much so, at least for him as he ended up reaching for yours and Jihyo’s hands before you could even run off to join Minho and Dahyun on their race. “Okay, okay, I was wrong!” He exclaimed dramatically, gloved hand meeting your own when Jihyo jokingly moved her hand away. “I’m going to fall over!”

“You’re doing fine.” You rolled your eyes in feigned exasperation, holding his hand anyway as you slowed your pace. His siblings then passed by the two of you, giggling over their eldest brother tripping on ice. "Look, even your siblings are doing fine and you came from the same place as those two.” 

“Chan, you’re being dramatic.” Jihyo added to tease him further, gracefully sliding away from the two of you. “‘It’s just ice and blades, right?’ You’ll get used to it!” 

Then, as if for unintentional emphasis, Chan almost tripped at this and instinctively held your hand tighter. “I really am going to fall if I let go.” He pouted, linking your arms together instead. “Can’t you really teach me?”

You unlink your arms, catching his hand again. “Fine, I’ll try but don’t cling to me too much.” You pointed out, laughing when he interlocks your fingers together. “You swim in deep ass Olympic pools back and forth like it’s nothing, ice shouldn’t be that scary to you, you know.” 

With that, you spent the rest of the afternoon teaching Chan how to balance himself on his skates (and getting him out of Minho and Dahyun’s way as the two circled the rink like two roller derby players). He perfected his balance at the end of the day but he still wouldn’t let go of your hand so naturally, you came back next year. 

And next year eventually turned into an annual tradition between the two of you. 

The exam results then came in the middle of your final Volleyball game which was probably not good for your adrenaline levels but everyone found it amusing.

Your team was leading in the final set, 23-22, and you could tell as you delivered volley after volley that your opponent was already losing hope. On the sidelines of the open gymnasium, Bam Bam and Minho held up the ugliest orange cartolina ever with ‘HAIKYUU THAT SHIT Y/N!’ in mismatched marker colors while Jihyo, Dahyun, Chan, Hansol, and Seungkwan screamed their lungs out for your team.

You’re quite certain the cartolina got confiscated by your coach after for inappropriate language, you’re not quite sure even at present because you never saw it again, especially when it was dropped to the ground the moment everyone’s phones started ringing because of an e-mail from school.

You noticed it from the sidelines, even as you and another teammate delivered the final volley that lead to your victory. Chan held your phone with a bright smile on his face, directing it to you after as you and your team huddled for a group hug and greeted the opposite team for the last time.

“Congratulations!” He greeted you as soon as you’ve celebrated enough with your teammates, waving your phone in front of you as he approached with everyone jumping not far behind him. “On both!”

“Both what?”

Before Chan could even answer you properly, you were engulfed in a big hug by Jihyo, Seungkwan, and Dahyun. “You did it!” They exclaimed in unison. “You passed all of the uni’s you applied to! We all did!”

Immediately, your widened eyes and agape mouth sought Chan for confirmation, to which he simply nodded with a laugh and a thumbs up. “No way...” You muttered in disbelief, gaining feeling back in your frozen legs after to jump along with everyone in your group hug. “No shit, no way! Congratulations, guys!”

“Congrats to you too, dude! You won twice today!” Jihyo pointed out, making everyone laugh. “We’re still on for BBQ, right?”

“Well, I can’t be the only one paying now since we all passed the exam!”

You got hugs from the others as well (and an extra one with a high-five from Seungkwan because he was just so hyped about your volleyball game), receiving from Chan last since he wanted a photo with you after.

“We could do a group photo, you know.” You tried suggesting as you held your Finals tournament trophy in between the two of you. Hansol has both of your phones side by side in front of him, adjusting the settings a little before taking the photo.

“We could but that’s for later. I need a new contact photo for you!” Chan insisted. Before you could comment on his ridiculous excuse, however, Hansol was already taking photos of the two of you.

Chan did set a photo of you from that day as your contact photo—specifically the one where you were pretending to dump invisible water from the trophy over him. It’s ridiculous and it still makes everyone laugh whenever Chan’s phone lights up with this photo.

Graduation celebrations naturally came after, as soon as Spring Break was over. Bam Bam threw a house party for your batch that was anything but sober and civil, the clubs each had send-off parties, and the student council planned a Graduation Ball which was mostly just yours, Jihyo’s, and Seungkwan’s excuse to dress semi-fancy and have Chan invite Younghyun to invite his band, Day6, to perform a whole set of their new songs.

You came with your friend group, or at least you and Jihyo convinced yourselves that you did since no one bothered to look for dates. It had been your finals before the Saturday of the graduation ball and, on top of that, the two of you were busy ‘student council-ing’ as Minho worded it, organizing the event with the school faculty and a few parents.

You did dance with everyone by the end of the night too, Minho pulling you along by the hand in a group hug as you yelled out the lyrics to Days Gone By—one of the last songs of the evening. “Finally you can join us!” He exclaimed dramatically, pressing a kiss on top of your head as he slung an arm over your shoulder. He didn’t actually need to worry about spending time with you since you’re all staying in the hotel for the night anyway. “Loosen up, will you?!”

On your other side, you could only hear Chan laugh as Bam Bam proceeded into the center of your big circle to dance, challenging an unexpecting Yugyeom nearby after. He stole glances over to you occasionally, a fond smile on his lips whenever you’d catch him in the act. He actually wanted to ask you to dance but decided against it last minute, growing too shy at noticing that the crowds are mostly dancing in friend groups rather than pairs until it was ultimately time to retreat into your hotel rooms.

“Goodnight and happy graduation, Seoul High!”

Fortunately, however, Chan made up for this by waiting on you after the dance. You stayed behind with Jihyo and Seungkwan for an hour more once the students have either gone back to their hotel rooms or migrated to the hotel lobby to wait for their rides home; Chan was more than happy to lend an extra helping hand as you thanked the staff and made sure that the packing up was done orderly.

“You did well tonight,” He complimented you sheepishly as the two of you carefully packed up the stage’s sound equipment. The microphone he was trying to remove from the stands was still on then, making his voice echo faintly through the hall. “organizing the event and all.”

Your face heated up against the now softer stage lights as you moved the guitar and music stands from the center to the side where a staff member was waiting for you. “T-Thanks, Chan. Did you have fun?”

He simply nodded this time with a sheepish giggle, passing you the microphones after making sure they were properly turned off.

After this, Chan politely walked you and Jihyo back to your shared room with Dahyun just two floors above the one all the boys in your class reserved for themselves

“Night, Chan! Make sure you’re not being too loud with the boys downstairs, okay?” Jihyo bid him goodbye quickly with a small yawn and a mischievous smile as she opened the heavy door to your room with ease. “I’m pretty sure Bam brought that wireless microphone with him again—and it’s probably Mingyu or Seokmin’s idea again.”

“Don’t worry we won’t, I’ll make sure.” Chan nodded sheepishly before waving goodbye to her. Once she’s inside, he then turned to you and said, “Goodnight, Y/N.”

You nodded slowly at him, a little hesitant. When he raised his eyebrows at this, you then suggested, “Um...I know this is sudden and it’s like 1 AM but you don’t happen to be in the mood for McDonald’s, right?”

“Seriously? At this time?” 

“I’ll buy you an iced coffee if you want.” 

So you ended up at the McDonald’s two blocks from the hotel where your graduation ball was held, wrinkled dress suits and all. You talked for what seemed like an hour more, played with the Powerpuff Girls happy meal toy he bought on a whim, and got scolded through calls and text from your friends because you didn’t invite them. Since this day, the two of you have been buying each other’s coffee from McDonald’s.

Bam Bam and Minho both moved further West in the city, the latter sharing his uncle’s old apartment with another friend of his, while Jihyo dorms with Mina, another friend of yours from another school, up North. Besides these, no one made a drastic change to move houses or dormitories from the area your parents considered near since everyone else attended universities relatively near. At university, especially on your first year, you, Chan, and Dahyun mostly stuck with each other; just now with the addition of Lisa who ended up attending the same university and Jacob whom Chan befriended in his classes.

Sometime towards the end of your first semester, when Bam Bam and Minho skipped school to crash one of your semi-finals Volleyball game, your now larger group of friends decided that Chan would ‘take one for the team’ and get a driver’s license for all of your travelling needs. He lost against Jacob and Dahyun of all people in the most intense game of rock-paper-scissors you’ve ever seen. 

Because of this, for the two weeks leading up to finals week, you ended up risking your life accompanying Chan to practice in his aunt’s old SUV. During this time period, he either took you to and from university as well or from your neighborhood to the bar and grill you started frequenting with him and the rest of your friend group. It’s not that he’s bad at driving, his parking skills were just initially a cause of worry for you whenever he was driving in crowded places. 

“Am I close?” Chan asked you on your first day of finals, leaning over your side of the car to check the side mirror. You had your reviewers for your Communications class glued to your face throughout the entire twenty-minute ride but that didn’t stop you from simultaneously being anxious of hitting someone else’s car right in front of your college building. “Can you check?” 

You opened the window and briefly peeked your head out, turning to Chan after and almost jumping at how close he’s gotten. “It doesn’t even look like you tried.” You laughed through your immediate flustered expression, making him lean back in frustration as he prepares to move the car again. “How long have we been here? Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.” 

Chan pouted, keeping a hand on your head rest as he now carefully re-attempts to parallel park. “Just five minutes.” He mumbles, alternating his gaze quickly between the front and back of the car. “So that means you’ve been studying well this entire time.” 

“Your driving is already good I could even sleep in, it’s just the parking that’s worrying.” You pointed out teasingly, leaning on his hand to glance back at the situation behind you and poking on his new arm bands. “Speaking of, you do know that you don’t even have to park, right? It’s not like you’re going to wait for me.” 

“But I’ll wait for you.” Your eyes met belatedly as Chan finally parks the car. “It’s just 30 minutes, right?” 

“It’s two hours, Chan...” You quirked a brow. “Didn’t I text you that?”  

“Really? Ah, well...I’ll just...” Chan chuckled sheepishly, clearly realizing his mistake at the last minute. “I can totally just hang around, I guess.” 

But the problem was, Dahyun didn’t have class that day, Lisa was organizing a club party, and Jacob was in his own volleyball training. Chan ended up loitering around the swim team for a while and impulsively buying you lunch because he didn’t want to waste gas. 

You bought him lunch when he passed his driver’s license in return. 

“You probably need glasses now.” You pointed out to him as you happily ate your Burger King inside his car. The nearest branch to the driving school he attended had a relatively big parking lot, making the two of you sigh in relief that he didn’t have to parallel park this time. “I’m pretty sure I texted you that my exam was from 10 to 12.” 

Next to you, Chan had his seat reclined and the windows fully open as he sipped on his Cola and munched on fries. “No, I checked it again the other day and you texted 10 to 11.” 

“What?!” When you do check your phones, only then do you find out that you did mistakenly text him 10 to 11 instead of 10 to 12. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry! Should I buy you another burger?”

Chan simply shook his head and snatched the ice cream cup you’ve been saving. “I’ll just take this, thank you!” 

“Ya!” 

The first time the driver’s license actually came in handy was on your first volleyball game as a university student. Chan went on a round trip around the major universities in Seoul to pick up all of your friends which almost caused you to be late to the game but you could barely care then—you were too pumped over the idea of all of your friends coming together to watch you.

Besides, Chan volunteered to be a courtside reporter for the game so you weren’t scolded by your coach alone.

“Good luck out there!” Chan nudged your side with a wink as the two of you prepared to enter the arena with your team. He made sure that he had his microphone off twice this time. “I’d really love to interview you when you win.”

“When have I ever lost in front of you, hm?” You teased with a grin of your own, just as the backstage doors opened to the cheers and drums of your university. 

And, true to your word, you win the game a little over an hour and a half later. With a small trophy passed around from your teammates and the promise of a day-off from your coach, Chan was the first of your friends to approach you.

“And here we also have SNU women’s volleyball team newest recruits, Y/N and Chaeyeon!” Chan introduced you and your teammate in front of the cameras. In the distance, you could see your friends then: Jihyo, Dahyun, Mina, and Lisa holding balloons in the color of your university, Bam Bam and Minho holding their usual embarrassing slogan, and Jacob jumping up and down excitedly over your game’s turn-out. “This is your first game and first win of the season, congrats! How does it feel, you two?”

Your eyes met Chaeyeon’s instinctively to your right, making the two of you giggle shyly. After a mini game of passing the microphones between each other, you eventually ended up answering, “Um, we’re very grateful that our first game gave us our first win as new members as well and we hope that we’ll continue doing even better in the semi-finals!”

“Yes! Everyone’s hoping so too, especially after watching your play today!” Chan commented, clearly going off-topic then by the way you noticed how his mini crew of fellow students looked surprise and even checked their own cue cards.

Once the interviews were over, you were then whisked away by Minho and Jacob—the former to catch up with you while the latter was so excited talking to you about your game.

“Dude you were so good out there! Like that serve on the first set that really riled up the opposing team’s captain? And and that over the net move you did with Chaeyeon! We should have a practice game sometime!” Jacob always talked a million times per second over things that excited him but you didn’t mind, at least now Minho had someone to compete with over who could say the weirder thing.

The interaction placed a rather childish pout on Chan throughout the ride to your promised Korean BBQ dinner, no one but Lisa paid it too much mind.

“Stop pouting you look ugly.” She said to the poor boy with a feigned judgmental face, switching seats with you earlier for the ride to dinner so you can discuss volleyball with Jihyo and Jacob. “Why are you even pouting? Something on your mind?”

“Nothing.” Chan only furrowed his brows and frowned, glancing over to you on the rear view mirror to see you laughing along to a video Minho was showing everyone on his phone.

it’s not Minho that bothered him, everyone with eyes and a braincell have always known that he’s in love with his current roommate.

Jacob, though...you play the same sport and are both equally passionate over it! It definitely made Chan think.

“Nothing looks like she’s having fun, huh?” Lisa mumbled under her breath in response after a moment, breaking out into a laugh when Chan finally glances over at her with a confused look. “Nothing!”

Lisa made sure you sat next to Chan after, dragging Minho and Jacob by the ears to the other side of the table.

On your second year, your favorite junior from your previous school finally entered college. Seungmin was also on the student council, school paper, as well as in the high school baseball team who often practiced with your volleyball team so you basically considered him your ‘child,’ much to his annoyance. Though he attended a university that was nearer to Bam Bam’s and Minho’s, you pestered Chan into driving you almost once a month to his dorm to visit, anyway. 

Chan would’ve said no every time given his own busy schedule but you promised him every time that Felix, a friend of Seungmin’s who happened to come from Australia as well, and Jeongin, another junior you unofficially ‘adopted’ in high school, would also be there. 

“Chan, I need to go to Seungmin’s, it’s an emergency.” You greeted Chan one day right after your afternoon classes. You found him in the library, studying for second semester midterms with Lisa and Jacob which did made you feel bad but you really couldn’t wait for the next bus anymore.

“What kind of emergency?” Lisa asked, prompting you to shake your head. 

“The kids said it’s very bad...” You continued shaking your head frantically and that was enough for Chan to pack up his things and lead you outside to his car. 

When the two of you arrived at Seungmin and Jeongin’s shared dorm, Chan was more than confused at seeing the former sprawled out on the common area carpet with his arms folded over his chest like a vampire while the latter and Jeongin hovered over him with worried looks and mini fans. 

“Is Seungmin dying?” Chan asked you with genuine worry as you approached, which would’ve made you laugh with the choice of words had you not just been vaguely called on short notice to deal with the situation. 

You didn’t get to answer him at first as your first instinct was to sit down next to Seungmin and ask Felix, “We came here as fast as we could. What’s wrong?” 

In front of you, Seungmin groaned in pain and rolled over on his stomach, hiding his reddening cheeks from you. “Y/N, why are you here?” He whined, bringing his arms up to his head to hide his face further. “Did these two call you?”

“Yeah they did.” You answered firmly, rolling the boy on his back again that prompted more complaints from him. “Now, what’s wrong? School? Sports? Friends? Are you okay?”

It took a moment for Seungmin to remove his arms over his face and answer you and it undeniably made you and Chan nervous. When he did answered, it was what you least expected from him as he said, “Y/N, I think I have a crush...” 

A pause then followed as everyone simply stared back at Seungmin who immediately hid in his hoodie once again. 

“Oh for the love of God, Kim Seungmin! Are you kidding me right now?! I came all the way here for this?” You smacked him in the arm once you’ve recovered, finally breaking out into laughs as the other boys toppled over in laughter. Turning to Jeongin and Felix, you then asked, “So why did you call me? You could’ve called Minho, he literally lives three blocks away.” 

Felix and Jeongin glanced over at each other and shrugged. “He said he’s having love problems,” Jeongin pointed to Seungmin innocently before turning to you. “So I thought of calling you. Aren’t you and Chan a thing?” 

This time, it was you and Chan looking at each other and laughing. “No, no, we’re not a thing.” He clarified for you with a dismissive wave. “Y/N’s married in a poly relationship with academics and extracurriculars.”

“And Chan’s secretly a merman so it’s a hard pass.” You finished his thought jokingly, looking over at Seungmin after. 

“You guys, I’m still in a situation here!” Seungmin frowned, lifting his head up to place on your lap. “I’m fucked, basically.”

“Well, since we came all the way here and gas is expensive, do you want to talk about it? Lix and I can cook dinner.”  

With that (and a few more words to get Seungmin off of the floor), you managed to drag the lovestruck boy into the kitchen and cooked him tonkatsu with Felix and Jeongin on your tail. Chan kept him company the entire time, peering over his shoulder as he narrated the story of a certain figure skater he met at his Freshman welcome assembly. “We’ve been friends for a while and I really like them but they’re always getting into trouble!” Seungmin mostly rambled, making you, Jeongin, and Felix snicker with your backs turned.

“All the more reasons to see them often, then?” You suggested, much to Seungmin’s annoyance.

“Won’t I be too obvious? Or too doting? Maybe they don’t like that as much since they’re so independent. Agh, what do I do?!”

“Play it cool like you always do, kid.” You answered simply, patting his head affectionately as you passed by his spot to retrieve a basket of condiments “What do you think, Chan?”

You clearly caught him off-guard then by the way his eyes slowly widened and he instinctively sat up straight. “O-Oh, u-um—yeah, what you said...” He eventually agreed with a nonchalant shrug to cover up his shaky actions. “Don’t overthink it or else nothing happens.”

You re-joined Jeongin and Felix across the kitchenette with a chuckle, nudging Jeongin with your elbow after. “You kids are growing up! Ah, but it still kinda feels like yesterday when you two were just messing around back in high school.”

“We’re a year below you, what are you talking about?” Jeongin pouted, eyes not leaving the side dishes he was preparing. When you don’t tease him further about it with another side comment, he then adds, “Sorry for assuming you and Chan were dating by the way. That wasn’t weird, right?”

You shook your head reassuringly. “No, it’s cool! I’m just curious where you’d get that from.”

“Minho said—“ And that was enough for you to give your aforementioned friend an earful the next time you saw him after.

“So, Chan’s not dating?” Felix asked next to which you nodded at. “Oh, cool!”

“Why? Do you have someone for him?”

Though Felix didn’t say anything more specific after that, Chan was then coerced into a friendly blind date to the movies a week after, you heard it at his new sideline podcast with Changbin and Jisung of all places.

“I—“ Seungmin’s first reaction was to clasp his hands together while the two of you were listening to the podcast episode in YouTube. “I spill out my heart to you guys and over tonkatsu then I find out that this happened right under my nose that night?”

It was a month since his dramatic confession and a little over two weeks since Chan went on the blind date and you’ve been taking the bus with Dahyun to visit the kids ever since. Chan thought he did something wrong but you’ve assured him multiple times that you’re just trying to be considerate of him since he now has an additional person on his plate.

Dahyun also wanted to visit Jihyo and Mina so you decided on commuting with her in particular.

“Ah, well, that’s life—or college...or maybe both.” You shrugged. You often studied in their dorm living room to pass the time if Minho wasn’t up for being bothered with in his apartment—you found out throughout this that studying with a Legal Management major like Seungmin motivates you to go through your rigorous readings. “How’s your crush by the way? Any progress?”

“They want to try speed skating! Do you know how dangerous that is? Not to mention, the legality of it all...”

“This person seems like they get you up on your toes. I like it! Makes things a bit more exciting, don’t you think?”

“It just makes my head hurt.” Seungmin sighed, rubbing his temples dramatically for emphasis. “I can’t help but worry...”

“I think you’re sweet looking out for them like this.” You assured. “But it’s not sports if you don’t get hurt and we both know that.” 

“Then what do I do?” 

“Just look out for them. I’m pretty sure they’re not all that clumsy as you make them out to be—you said they’re an athlete, right?—but it’s still important to be there for support and help when they really need it.” You half-shrugged, not really knowing what else to say. “But not just as someone who has a crush. Be a friend first and foremost—I mean, obviously, since you’re not dating, you’re just friends, hopefully for now. Yeah, that’s it! Don’t overthink it, you’re friends not married!” 

A thought then seemed to pass Seungmin as a small smile formed on his lips. He then pulled his knees close to his chest and leaned back on the sofa behind him. “So, is that how you are with Chan?” 

“What?!” 

“I mean he’s sort of dating right now but don’t you have a crush on him?” The younger boy asked in genuine curiosity. “Honestly, I was surprised that you let him go on that blind date with the Soyeon girl Felix recommended, much less a second date this weekend.” 

“No—I mean no, I don’t have a crush on him.” You refused calmly though your voice clearly shook a little but not for the reason Seungmin thought it was. “We’re just friends. You’re going off-topic!” 

Seungmin’s eyes lit up in interest. “Well, I thought about it so we’re talking about it now! Have you seriously never thought about it?”

“No, but I am now because you brought it up!” You shook your head back truthfully before smacking his arm with your reviewers, making him pout and wince at you. “Don’t do that! You’re like—you’re trying to brainwash me into having feelings or something!”

Seungmin instinctively held his hands up, filled with his own lecture notes, and shook his head at the accusation. “No I’m not!” He pouted at you to no avail. “I’m just saying that I’ve always thought there was something, with how you two are so close.”

“You and I are close, Minho and I are close,” You argued back with a small pout, crossing your arms. “Heck, Bam Bam and I are close and we grew up together since the 4th grade.” 

Again, the boy shook his head stubbornly. “Yeah, we’re all different kinds of close, especially Chan,” He claimed with so much conviction. “You look out for me, Minho, and Bam Bam but Chan looks out for you as much as you do for him, if that makes sense.”   

“See you can’t even reason out properly and you’re in Legal Management.” You scoffed playfully. “I look out for everyone the same way, Chan’s not that kind of special for me. Also, it’s basic human decency, Seungmin. I can’t believe you don’t look out for me back, to be honest.”

Though you came off as perfectly unbothered by this, there was a period when things started became awkward on your end and it frustrated you until the end of your second year. 

Seungmin teased you to no end for it to make up for your equally endless questions about the person he’s taken interest in, Minho kept bringing it up whenever the two of you met or hung out in his apartment, and Dahyun only confronted you about it when it started becoming inconvenient for her as yours and Chan’s mutual friend.

“Chan keeps texting me if we want a ride to Minho’s but I already told him that we’re on the bus right now.” Dahyun showed you her phone on another one of your many commutes to Minho’s side of the city. By this time, it has been two months and three dates for Chan, with your time spend with said boy having reduced significantly. “Are you guys okay? Have you been talking lately?” 

You furrowed your brows and nodded in genuine confusion. “Yeah, why?” 

“It feels like he wants to ask me about you but he won’t say it directly.” Dahyun shrugged, leaning back on the seats. “It kinda gives me the impression that you guys fought or something.” 

“We didn’t fight.” You assured with a small frown. “Nothing happened, really.”  

“Then what is it?” 

It took you a moment to answer as your mind instinctively went to the conversation you previously had with Seungmin. “I...you know when someone points something out to you in a different light and then it makes you think of a lot of things?” When you saw Dahyun nod slowly, you then took it as your cue to admit, “It’s something like that, I guess.”

And like you, it also took a moment for Dahyun to answer. “Well, how do you feel about it?” She asked back as a response. “I think I know what this is about but you don’t have to tell me if you’re uneasy telling me about it.”

And you were uneasy and confused, very much so. “I don’t think I’m feeling anything special about it, really.” You admitted in a smaller voice, finding your attention flitting down to your hands on your lap. “I feel like I’m just thinking too much on what that someone said and how they said it.” 

“Then it’s probably nothing, easy as that. Don’t let people’s words get into your head too much, especially on things like this—if we are thinking of the same thing—or else it’s gonna feel like you’re being forced into having different feelings or think differently.” Dahyun shrugged with a reassuring smile. “If otherwise, even then don’t overthink it too much. Just let things happen as they are.” 

When you didn’t respond immediately, she then took your silence to quickly add, “Anyway, bottom line is, whatever it really is that you’re feeling or thinking, don’t ignore Chan for it. Talk to him about it specifically if it helps just don’t make him feel left out just because you’re on a one-sided awkward situation.”  

It was a tough love kind of advice but Dahyun pestered you about it until she saw you approach Chan first over a week later, when you personally asked him to carpool to Bam Bam’s place for a year-end party.

You’ve never seen Chan’s face light up as much as it did on that day at the campus library. 

“R-Really?” He stuttered out in disbelief and suddenly, all hints of drowsiness had disappeared on his expression. “I mean, c-cool! Uh, what time should I pick you and Dahyun up?” 

“Ah, well, what time should you pick up Soyeon if she’s going to carpool with us?” You asked slowly, rubbing your nape awkwardly as you stood next to his table. 

His eyes widened in surprise before an equally awkward chuckle came out of his lips. “Soyeon’s not carpooling with us.” 

“Hm?” 

“She’s going with her own friends since they’re nearer to her place.” Chan nodded absentmindedly, pulling a chair for you to sit down. You took the place without hesitation, neck heating up in embarrassment over the thought that you seemed too eager. “We’re not actually dating anymore.” 

“Oh?” You furrowed your brows as quickly as your expression almost lit up. “I mean, since when, if it’s okay to ask?” 

“Since last week. I don’t know, we agreed that it’s really...not happening between us.” Chan shrugged nonchalantly, going back to his lecture notes. “It’s cool, though, we’re studying together next week at the new study hall near Itaewon.” 

You nodded, exhaling a breath you didn’t even realize you were holding until then. “At least it’s not awkward or anything.” 

“What about us?” 

You immediately looked up at this, meeting Chan’s somewhat hopeful gaze that had you unexpectedly stammering, “W-what do you mean?” 

“Did I do something wrong?” He pursed his lips nervously, voice growing smaller with each other. “It’s just that we haven’t talked a lot lately—or maybe I’m just overthinking it...” 

You were quick to shake your head, mustering up a small smile. “No, you didn’t do anything.” You assured him gently. “I’ve just been—it’s nothing.” 

“Really?” 

You nodded, breathing in another sigh of relief. “Yeah, I just had a lot of things going on then. It’s okay now.” 

And it really was okay then. Talking to Chan again assured you at the time that you liked him as a friend. You really really liked him at the time as a friend. 

Third year meant preparing for your senior year and going on your Junior Year internship which is probably why Bam Bam scheduled a trip to his hometown in Bangkok in the summer before this. It was just him, you, Chan, Dahyun, Jihyo, and Minho as a kind of mini high school reunion—the small kind of gathering everyone naturally hopes for with the pacing of university life. 

You stayed at his family’s house where his parents offered you the entire expanse of the living room to have a movie night and sleepover in on your first night, right before the overwhelming itinerary Bam Bam planned for the next five days. 

“Rock-paper-scissors for the beds!” Bam Bam announced after your sixth movie of the night. The Meg really wasn’t that amazing in your collective opinion but that didn’t stop you from putting it at the bottom of your To-Watch list just to throw as much nonsensical comments as you can on it. “The expandable couch goes to first, second, and third; the smaller one goes to fourth, and fifth and sixth get the air bag!” 

Unsurprisingly, you and Chan had to share the grey air bag because you simply were just unlucky that night (you accidentally got a Pringles bag that had more air on it than chips prior) and Chan was so sleepy right next to Minho from cramming a passion project with Changbin and Jisung on call. Not that you minded, you were actually glad you didn’t have to put up with Bam Bam kicking you in his sleep or Minho waking you up with his cuss-filled sleep talking. 

“Are you okay with this, sharing an air bed, I mean.” Chan had asked you as you prepared to sleep some time at 3 AM. He was hunched over on the side of the mattress that wasn’t pushed to the wall, laptop perched on top of his area as he continued fighting sleep and finishing his project. Everyone else had gone to sleep earlier. “I can totally just ask Bam for a sleeping bag if you want me to.” 

“It’s okay.” You assured him as you spread the blanket over the entire expanse of the small air bed before sliding in and taking your phone out from under your pillow. “Aren’t you slidi—tucking in too, though?” 

His face lit up in genuine surprise, slowly shifting into appreciation and fondness right in front of you as he caught the concern in your own face despite the phone blocking his view. “In a bit...I’m just making a few adjustments with this.” 

Changbin and Jisung erupted into yells on the three-way video call, their voices bursting so suddenly on Chan’s headphones that he immediately muted them before you could ask or even notice. 

Fortunately, you didn’t. “Oh, then don’t stay up too late, Chan.” You pointed out in even more concern. You knew how he could get whenever he pulled all-nighters, you realized. “We have to start really early tomorrow—or later.” 

He hummed absentmindedly with a small nod as he continued nodding, glancing back up at you again after a moment. “Then you should go to sleep already, you don’t have to wait up for me.” 

“Who said I’m waiting up for you? I’m scrolling through my Instagram.” But despite your teasing tone, you still ended up scrolling through your phone until he finished his project, bidding Changbin and Jisung a quick good morning before ending the call and sliding in under his share of the covers. 

“Okay now go to sleep.” He chuckled tiredly as he gazed down on you, hand accidentally brushing against your own in the small gap between the two of you as he placed it right next to his head. 

“But you’re watching me,” You frowned disapprovingly. “turn around or something.”

“I sleep better like this and what if I closed my eyes and you took pictures even with my back turned?” He feigned a pout, bringing his hand under the pillow as he shifted more comfortably in place. “You sleep first.” 

“You’re so childish.” You giggled, shaking your head stubbornly. “I won’t do that.” 

“As if you aren’t too right now. You’re probably thinking about it.” 

“On three, then? One—” 

“Two—“ 

“Three.” With your cue, the two of you then closed your eyes at the same time, only to peek one each right after. “Ya!” 

You eventually managed to fall asleep at the same time half an hour later with Chan reluctantly turning around for you once you had your eyes closed. He’d only see your sleeping expression a little bit later, when he woke up to use the bathroom at 7 AM and came back to check up on you sleeping comfortably and move more of the blanket to your shoulders. 

“Look at these eyebags, you could carry souvenirs in them later.” Minho chuckled next to you on the ride to your first trip destination after, laughing even more when you swatted his index finger that moved up in an attempt to poke your eyes. “Nightmare? The Meg wasn’t even about ghosts, Y/N.” 

“No, I just slept late.” You sighed, leaning back on your seat. “Chan and I stayed up a little longer.” 

At this, Minho’s eyes visibly lit up and he wiggled his eyebrows mischievously at you, prompting a disgusted look on your face. “Ooh, did something spicy finally happen between you two?” 

“No—and please never do that again, it’s disgusting!” 

“It’s my eyebrows!” 

Minho ended up teasing you throughout the whole trip, anyway, as you and Chan repeated almost the exact same routine every night.     

You had your Junior Year Internship at a media network across the city and though Chan insisted multiple times that he can drive you to work before going to his own at an entertainment company in the opposite direction, you managed to convince him that you really can commute this time and spend the night at Minho’s if you went overtime. No hard feelings this time. 

So with what his presence in your life suddenly lacked in being your everyday transportation, he made up for by spamming you constantly online. 

“This place has Tim Tams in their cafeteria!” He’d send you the most random photos and videos of his day-to-day working in song production at the entertainment company, from actual work-related matters like sophisticated equipment he was allowed to use to the small things like the extensive cafeteria food and his boss’ pet Labrador. “What are you having for lunch?” 

Being a P.A. at a media network, however, was much more fast-paced and required you to be running everywhere on your work hours. Chan understood, of course (hence the sudden influx of dog photos during a particular period that had you working overtime almost every day), but it still made you feel bad for replying so late because, whether you admitted it or not, his constant updates alleviated your stress. 

More often than not, his spams would be responded with photos of you on the subway and video clips of Minho and his roommate who are always practicing cheer dance moves in their living room. “I had three Snickers today but I drank a lot of water so that should count for something!” You often replied, following with a clip of Minho falling on his butt after tiredly trying to land a flip. “This is your Minho update of the day. He’s getting there! I think he’s going to try out for cheer dance captain this year!” 

At the end of the semester, Chan was more than happy seeing you again, so much so that he treated you with lunch and even offered you ice cream after. “You’re going to make up for all the full meals you’ve missed this semester!” He insisted as he picked you up from Minho’s place. The two of you ended up at a ramen house which was a far jump from your usual fast food dates—something you thought about the entire time. 

“I’m pretty sure that’s not how it works.” You laughed but you let him order you food anyway since it was free. “Extra nori and eggs, please!” 

You exchanged internship stories throughout the entirety of your lunch, laughing along to his stories of falling asleep in the middle of work and hearing his endless teasing over you getting starstruck with assisting your favorite artists on the job. You didn’t actually miss out on a lot of his shenanigans (that’s how heavily he spammed you) but you stayed in the ramen house for more than two hours, unconsciously drifting off to different topics and gossiping about your friends until the slight embarrassment of overstaying creeped in.

“Speaking of friends, I haven’t seen everyone else lately too.” Chan mused on your ride back home. He had his CD he secretly produced over his internship period playing on the radio as well as one hand on the steering while while the other fought you over the air conditioning. “I just know that you and Jacob train for volleyball together on weekends, Lisa’s busy with club duties, Bam Bam’s on an exchange student thing and Jihyo recently introduced us to the person she’s dating now.” 

You leaned back in your seat and shrugged, finally giving up on the air conditioning to open the windows instead and admire the Han river on your side of the road. “Well, you know how Minho’s been doing with my updates and I haven’t seen Dahyun in a while too since she’s taking the most classes this semester.” You explained, extending your hand outside to feel the gentle Autumn breeze. Chan, despite being the swimmer between the two of you, thinks you’re crazy for liking the cold better. “As for many many other people I know, they’re either studying really hard or starting work now. Time flies and friends come and go, I guess...” 

When you glanced over at him again, you saw his face scrunched up in thought as his hands blindly found the gear stick to slow down at an intersection. Once you reach the red light, he then meets your gaze, uncertainty in his expression that he tried playing off with a shrug. “Yeah but...is it weird if I said I don’t want that to happen with us?” 

“N-No?” You found yourself answering before you could fully comprehend the question. Clearing your throat, you tried joking it off, “I think you might’ve taken the ‘I’m class president let me show you around’ thing back in high school, Chan.” 

He shrugged, smiling as well at this. “Maybe I did, who knows? I like spending time with you.” 

“I force you, you’re my ride around the city.” You teased, hints of sincerity coming through your tone of voice. 

“But that’s because I like you, isn’t that what people do with people they like?” He said it with so much nonchalance but you couldn’t help but feel flustered at this, a reaction you immediately hid by laughing. 

“You like me too much, it’s going to cause a traffic with all this sentimental stuff,” You pointed out, the cars behind you suddenly honking annoyedly as if on cue. “See? Even the people behind us agree.” 

Chan wasn’t offended, however, not one bit as he continued rambling about liking you all the way to your dorm after. It flustered you at first, especially with how casual he was being, but, as you neared the turn to your dorm outside of university, you eventually caught up with teasing him back about it. 

When you thought about it on your own once he left, you realized that you somehow liked it. It felt very natural—as if it’s something that’s always felt right hearing from him. 

“I like Chan.” 

“Yeah no shit.” Minho agrees absentmindedly, Seungmin and Jeongin nodding along while emptying their take-out boxes. You carpooled with Chan today as he drove Felix and Jisung somewhere to help them finish their term research paper. You were only supposed to hang out with Seungmin and Jeongin but Minho decided to ambush the three of you with Jihyo and Mina on their way to join your group at the younger boys’ dorm. “What else is new, Y/N? We haven’t met up like this in a while so I was expecting something spicier!” 

“No, I mean—” You roll your eyes at him, smacking him with your rolled up lecture notes but to no avail. The boy simply opened his phone to check his messages, frowning when he then comes across a message from Jihyo and Mina informing him that they’re stuck in traffic. “I really like Chan.”   

“Okay, and then?” 

“I’m telling you I actually like someone then you dismiss me.” 

“And I mean that took you a record-breaking three years to say.” Minho points out, finally closing his phone and propping an elbow up on the table to face you properly. “What has you sharing this to us on this fine Saturday, hm? Did you get jealous over someone again and got so insecure that you realize your feelings? Did you get stuck in a really small space, admired his face a bit then realize that you think he’s cute? Which trope is it?” 

You shake your head disapprovingly at him, briefly glaring at Seungmin and Jeongin when the two start snickering next to you before answering, “Nothing, just...we talked lately and I thought that I really like talking to him.” 

“So you don’t like talking to us?” It’s Jeongin teasing you this time as he sipped on his juice box, earning him a crumpled ball of paper on the head. “I thought it’d be more grand like in those K-Dramas.” 

“You flood your crush with Pepero boxes and now you’re talking big with K-Drama confessions.” Seungmin points out, making the other boy in question roll his eyes. 

You open your mouth to speak but Jeongin beats you to it. “Talk to me when you’ve confessed to that figure skater at your university, baseball boy.” He says before turning to you again, placing a hand over Seungmin’s face and dramatically pushing him away by his head. “Anyway, back on topic! So, will you ask him out?” 

“I don’t know, should I?” You frown, leaning back on the sofa behind you with your arms crossed. “Wouldn’t it be weird?” 

Minho shakes his head. “It’s 2020 so go wild, my friend. Anyway, if it doesn’t work out I already got my driver’s license—though I will tax you since you live far away.” 

You roll your eyes, hitting him again. When his roommate passes by, half-asleep and dragging their feet towards the kitchen, you hear them request another smack on Minho’s head on their behalf as if on instinct. “I mean, do you just go for it? What if you don’t feel enough for people for it to work out?” 

A pause then follows in the room, even Minho’s roommate momentarily stopped gulping down water from across the open common area. Seungmin and Minho sigh while Jeongin only raises an eyebrow with the same curiosity.

“Yes, Y/N.” Minho answers after a moment, tsking at you as he does so. This time, you gather the energy to smack him for the fourth time as quickly. “It’s dating not marriage, just see what works and what doesn’t.”

Seungmin opens his mouth to say something else, probably to comment on how Minho doesn’t apply the sentiments to his own love life, but he nods in agrement anyway. “I think it’s like you always tell me: don’t overthink it.” He adds instead, briefly turning his head to Minho after. “But I’m going to pretend you didn’t bring it up first, hyung.” 

Don’t overthink it. Even Jihyo and Mina agreed when they arrived, pestering you into going over your entire rant and dilemma again once they arrived with beer and convenience store food. Dahyun too, but only a little later when Jihyo puts her on FaceTime.

“Just wing it,” She even added to assure you, glitching a bit on video because public library wi-fi has never been better than that.. “it’s just Chan, what could go wrong?”

And really, with Chan, nothing ever does feels like it’s going to go wrong even when the situation has your heart on the line.

“Chan, give me your hand.” You extend your hand out to his side of the car with your palms facing upwards, chuckling when he glances over to you with wide eyes. “I won’t tickle you this time, promise.” 

“So what are you going to do?” He asks as he reluctantly moves his hand from the steering wheel to your hand, alternating his gaze between the road and you on his side in long intervals. “I’ll have you know that we’re about to turn to a narrower road so don’t try anything funny.” 

“Like I said, I’ll just hold your hand.” You feign a pout, bringing your hands down on the compartment in between your seats. “There.”

You won’t tell it to his face right now, of course, but holding his hand is comforting to you.

He invited you to a small film festival for today, a thirty-minute ride to a place he only heard of on the poster for it that he showed you at the start of the week. “Bam Bam’s too busy to come with so I thought I’d invite you since you’re free this week!” He explained over the phone and you knew Bam Bam is really busy when it’s you who Chan is inviting to these kinds of everyday. “They have lots of animated movies on the line-up too so I immediately thought of you!” 

“Your hands are so small.” Chan comments after a moment, shaking your intertwined fingers gently as the car stops at traffic. 

You poke on his knuckles in response. “You just have really big hands.” 

“Your hands are clammy too.” He points out next with a laugh. “Are you okay?”

“Because you won’t turn the air conditioning up, dumbass.” You roll your eyes, scoffing when he doesn’t move his hand anyway. “So why don’t you let go?” 

“Because I like holding your hand.” He shrugs, biting down a small smile. The traffic still won’t move and he takes this as an opportunity to look at you as much as he can. “I like you a lot—even with your clammy hands.” 

“I—” You freeze with your mouth hanging open, finally catching onto his smile. “Ya, what’s with the smile? Did you...did Minho say something?” 

“What? No. I can’t smile now?” And it’s the truth, you find out much later when Chan calls Minho for you and puts him on loud speaker to disprove your suspicions. “Why? What am I supposed to not know until now?” 

You squint your eyes suspiciously at him, shifting your hands around his but to no avail. “That I—I was going to say it first today. I like you too—a lot.” You sigh in defeat, leaning back on your seat and twisting your body to face him properly. The traffic is slowly starting to move again and Chan briefly turns away to move the car, turning to you as soon as traffic permits him again. “It’s a bit embarrassing to say right now, my hands are so clammy and you’re holding onto them the entire time.”

“It’s not because you’re nervous, right?” He asks with the smallest glint of teasing in his eyes which you shake your head at immediately. “It’s just us.” 

“I told you, it’s because the air conditioning’s too low.” You chuckle, finally relaxing your shoulders in relief. Chan then lifts your hands up to the air conditioning unit jokingly, turning up the level with his knuckles. “And it’s exactly why I’m not nervous, because it’s just us.” 

“Me too, to be honest. I’d be freaking out right now if Minho or Lisa or just anyone else peered over our shoulders.” You hear him mumble under his breath in a sheepish giggle. A thought then crosses his mind as he glances over to you, the traffic now moving much more smoothly. “So, I can still ask you if this is a date, right? The cinema’s still five minutes away with this traffic.” 

You pretend to purse your lips in thought, bringing your hands back down once they’ve dried with the sudden rise in temperature. “Isn’t this too last minute even for you?” You tease, making him frown. “Ah, well, better late than never I guess.” 

“I’ll make it up to you on the second date, promise.” He assures you, turning right to your destination. “Jus don’t back out on this being a date now, okay?” 

“Of course not.” 

“So boring.” It’s Bam Bam teasing you this time, Minho agreeing on the side. The one time he’s actually free to hang out and he sasses you throughout the entire night. “I expected more from you two.” 

“It’s...two people dating in college, not a romcom, Bam.” You deadpan before taking a sip of your soju. 

He shrugs from across the table anyway, passing you another bottle. “I guess being in love makes you a little boring. I don’t blame you.” 

You slap a hand up to your forehead while Chan is practically drunk and dying next to you in embarrassment. “Oh God...” 

[sodalitefully]

1-30 hehehe

Anon you’re a ballsy motherfucker and I love you.  BUT you didn’t choose a fic for 24-28, or a word for 29!

What was the first fandom and/or pairing that you wrote fic for? Uh, probably Danny Phantom when I was like twelve 😂

Do you participate in any writing events or challenges throughout the year? If so, what do you like about them? Nope bc this is a small fandom and we don’t do many of those.

Do you write fics from start or finish, or jump around? I usually start at the start and then when I get stuck I’ll just skip that part, keep going, and come back to it later.  If I have an idea and I’m afraid I’ll forget it, I might also skip ahead and write it.

Do you outline before you start writing? If so, how far do you stray from that outline? I love outlining more that actually writing lmao, the longer the fic the more I outline.  I usually stick to it pretty closely, which isn’t aways good for my writing...

What is the perfect environment for you to write in? Quiet and private.  Other than that I haven’t figured out the tricks to getting myself to focus :(

If you’re really concentrating, how many words can you write in a day? Occasionally when I’m really inspired I’ll write like 1000, but more often I just write a paragraph or two.

Which part of writing do you struggle with most? Too many ideas, too little actual writing capacity.  It’s hard to focus on finishing fics bc I get too distracted by my other ideas, and I rarely write sequels bc there’s so much I haven’t gotten to share yet.

Do you listen to music while you write? If so, share a song that’s been inspiring you lately. Nope, can’t write with music, I get too distracted.  

Do you prefer to write AUs, canon divergence, or canon-compliant fic? AUs!!!

Do you enjoy writing dialogue, exposition, or plot the most? Probably dialogue? Exposition is great bc I get to explain the AU, but It’s not good for the flow of the fic.  Dialogue can be really satisfying to write when you get in a groove with it.

If you could only write angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your life, which would it be? Fluff!

Is there a trope you haven’t written yet but really want to? Oh god so many.  I have notes on tons of tropes I’d like to write... I’d like to do a college AU (and I meant to do it while I was actually in college but oops).  I posted a soulmate AU once but I’d like to do another.  Oh and I have lots of ideas for crossover AUs and I’m still deciding how to handle those.

Is there a trope you wouldn’t write if it was the last trope on earth? Honestly probably not.  I’m not huge on character death, genderbends, or reader inserts, for example, but I have ideas for fics involving all of those. 

If you were stuck on a desert island with only two characters, which would you pick? No one from gnr that’s for sure, that’d be a disaster.  How about... Percy Jackson and idk Wonder Woman?

A Hollywood producer tells you that they want to film just one of your fics. Which fic would you want it to be? Hmm out of the fics that I’ve posted... maybe Sumthin’ for Nuthin’ actually? I abandoned that poor fic but I still really like the plot.  And there’s plenty of longer, more plot-heavy fics I have outlined that would be cool to see as films.  In general I often imagine concepts visually instead of with words.

What is your most underrated fic? Saving Grace didn’t get a lot of notes and I get why – it’s kinda niche and there’s no actual romance.  But I think it’s well-written and I’m proud of it.

What fic are you most proud of? Maybe the whole cat!slash universe?  I don’t think it’s my best writing per se, but I’m still really attached to the concept and it was a pleasant surprise that other people seemed to like it too.

What is a line/scene you’re really proud of? Give us the DVD commentary for that scene. I’ve always been partial to the paragraph in Sweetness that ends with “Their coffee has long gone cold (and so has Duff’s spine - snakes give him the heebie-jeebies), but Slash’s enthusiasm is sweeter than the Duff’s half-eaten bowl of melted ice cream, and Duff is eating it up with a spoon.”  Just... the coffee is cold and so is Duff’s spine, Slash is sweet and so is the ice cream, and using “eating it up with a spoon” idiomatically while it’s also thematically relevant to a sentence about dessert... I really like to layer meaning when I can.

Who is the easiest/hardest character for you to write about? Why? Slash tends to be the center in most of my writing, but actually I think it’s easier to write from Duff’s pov.  Maybe bc when I’m writing sluff I can just channel my crush on Slash through Duff lmao.  Interesting tho bc when it comes to the real people, I find Slash much more relatable than Duff or the others.

What’s your favorite minor character you’ve written? Hah maybe Slash in the funeral home AU, it’s a duzzy ficlet so he’s just a side character but I got a kick out of writing his and Steven’s background antics.

What is the one fic that got away? Well, I really wish I’d finished Sumthin’ for Nuthin’ before I kinda lost interest in Motley Crue, that fic was gonna get more dramatic from there.  Would it be worth it to just post the outline?  Plus there’s a few potential longfic ideas that I’ve put a lot of love into, but I doubt they’ll ever be posted or completed considering the way I can’t seem to focus on one idea long enough to write more than a one-shot :( But hey I guess you never know.

Have you cried while writing a fic? Nope.  I do have some angsty ideas though, hopefully they’ll surface someday.

If you had to remix one of your own fics, which would it be and how would you remix it? Someday I’d like to rewrite the cat!Slash fic from the beginning, make it a real multichap or at least a proper series of vignettes.  Id also be interesting in a darker version of that AU, since there’s definitely potential for that in the concept.  But I’m pretty attached to the fluffy little universe I made, so I’d probably prefer to explore those darker themes in a different (but maybe similar) universe – I have a few ideas.

How did you come up with title for [x fic]? Most of my fics have self-explanatory titles or none at all, the only one I have much to say about is Saving Grace.  Duff needed a miracle to get out of his situation, Slash was his saving grace.  But also, Grace is the name of Duff’s oldest daughter, and Duff’s motive in the story is trying to “save” her.  Despite the double meaning in the title, I avoided referring to the child by name or as Duff’s “daughter”/explaining how they ended up together.  I wanted to maintain some of the mystery of the apocalyptic genre: characters with mysterious origins, found families, aliases, etc.  That’s definitely one of the ways that Mad Max and DOOM influenced this fic.  (Oh, also Serpentine is a dick joke via a wttj reference: “My serpentine.”  That’s it tho, the rest are pretty straightforward.)

Which idea came to you first in [x fic]? Feel free to send a fic for any/all of the next few questions! Generally speaking, my ideas are character driven, I want to portray a character or relationship a certain way and I build a world that allows me to do that.

Which part of [x fic] was the hardest to write?  Always the end.

If you were ever to do a sequel to [x fic], what do you think might happen in it? Whichever fic you have in mind, there’s a very high chance I have ideas.

In [x fic], what is a happy, post-fic headcanon you have about [pairing]? Same as above!

Send me a word. If it’s in your WIPs, include the sentence and a short summary of the fic. – Send me a word anon!

Tell us an idea for a longfic you want to write in the future. Ok, so I have three main longfic ideas, but the easiest one to explain is an AU set in a version of the 1980s where ancient greek deities exist, Axl’s life is parallel to that of Perseus, and Slash is cursed like Medusa.   Lots of drama, lots of influence from greek theater, untrustworthy gods, unrequited feelings, dramatic irony... fuck I hope I write it someday.  

Alright mad respect for anyone who got through all that!  Thanks for the ask, and feel free specify a fic for those last few questions if you wanna

[kinetic-elaboration]

September 7: Writing /List/

Okay, so. It’s the end of my three-day weekend, and as per usual, I only got semi-ambitious at the end of it. Not ambitious enough to write like 3-4k on my IIBB like I needed to do, so I’ll be dropping out tomorrow, sorrowfully. I guess I could start work now on next year’s entry lol?

I did write about 1100 words on a Bellarke fic. I cannot judge the quality of it. Mostly I feel like it’s an unnecessary rehash of OALY, which isn’t bad but... I dunno, basically every time I sit down to write something nowadays, I’m overwhelmed by the magnitude of it, but then as soon as I’ve finished whatever portion of it I was set on writing, a certain scene or a certain number of words or the whole thing or whatever, it just completely leaves my head, and I really don’t care anymore. I don’t care if it’s good or bad. I don’t really feel accomplished for having written it. It doesn’t entirely feel real? So, yeah, all I can really say is that I reached my goal on it, and it didn’t completely suck.

So. We’re heading into September. I am still naively optimistic about both this upcoming week and the possibility of getting into the fall spirit soon. That means that I think maybe I’ll be writing more suddenly?? And some of it will be fall-themed??

Projects currently on my mind:

HAICG: The number of excuses I make on the daily to not work on this lol. Current status: some thoughts written down in a notebook, not yet typed or organized. Basically like a scene brainstorm for the next chapter, and a bit of a sense of the general outline. Which is actually kind of a lot of progress but not the type that gets the damn thing posted so.... my bad.

Jonty Dual Timeline: This came up as the next fic in my ‘pick a random fic’ lottery and I’ve realized a few things about it. First, I have not worked on it in literally 3+ years. Second, it is over 6k (which is to say, a lot has gone into it). And third, since it has no outline, I could just... figure out what is required to finish it, and do that, and it would be done!! On a related note, another round of the WIP Project is coming up starting this week, and this seems like a perfect candidate for that. I wanted to participate but wasn’t sure with what. This one seems feasible. I realize since it’s a Jonty thing no one will read it but I really liked it and I’ve already written so much! Feels like it would be nice, just for me, if it could see the light of day.

It does kinda haunt me that I KNOW there was a lot of stuff that I had thoughts on and didn’t write down in any way that is now obviously very far lost in the oblivion. But I gotta let that go.

Or Anyone Like You: I’ve edited about a third of it, and I’ve started work on a moodboard for it, so yay me! The editing wasn’t too arduous but the section I stopped at was... rough, man. It was rough. But I’m not stressing too much.

Halloween Ficlets: It’s a liiiittttle early to be worried about these but given how slowly I’ve been writing recently, I feel like I should be thinking about them at least vaguely now. Last year I included requests but idk if I’m going to do that this year.

HAICG Request: Since I have 3-4 hours off tomorrow mid-day and I don’t think I’m going to be able to start work on the Dual Timeline fic yet (gotta re-read it properly and do some brainstorming and maybe even some outlining)--this seems like a good candidate! I don’t have a good sense of how long it will be but I do have an idea, and I could at least start it. The only specific thing I can say is that’s gonna be super indulgent lol. What part of this ‘verse isn’t though?

So I don’t know, this doesn’t seem that bad but this is just frontburner stuff--all of the 20 bajillion projects I have even half a vague thought for are floating around like mad little ghosts in my brain so it’s pretty overwhelming up in there most of the time. And I don’t even dislike it except for the part where I can’t even tell myself ‘well tomorrow you’ll be able to work on some of it’ because--will I? Or will I have to wait ages to be able to write even a few hundred words and also those words will be excruciatingly difficult and feel like nothing once they’re done?

Basically I still feel really out of touch with my own hobby and it’s a strain on my mental health!

[cozymochi]

How did Yamcha and Marzi reunite?

Short answer: Yamcha runs into her in a remote jungle thanks to rampaging dinosaurs.

Long answer: 

Okay okay, honestly I never told this story before because I couldn’t think of anything that worked properly ever, and yknow after a good 2ish years of having avoided really getting into that, I suppose now is as good a time as any to tie up this gaping loose end. And I’ll start by copying and pasting an icloud note I found that was written back in 2018 that detailed at least half of it, because at this point- I may as well go with this absurd thing instead of having nothing. Past me went into an outline about some kind of story setup but didn’t get to finish the “payoff” per se, because I suppose I thought I would come back to it and add more details later. BUT GUESS WHO DIDN’T BECAUSE I FORGOT??? SO, bear with me under this read more cut. 

(2018 OUTLINE NOTE)

Once upon a time fortuneteller baba held a day where she was telling peoples fortunes (amongst other shit) for free because she lost some kind of vague bet with Master Roshi. Thousands of people show up, and Yamcha is one of those people (along with pu’ar and yantan whom he dragged along). This occurs nearly 8 years after Yantan was spawned into existence.

Yamcha wants to ask Baba about love shit. Cuz oh boy. That love life still ain’t working out. But hell if he knows where to look maybe he’d have better luck. 

Yantan hates her life cuz waiting in line for like 10 hours is actual hell. But so long as she’s fucking there she might as well ask Baba something. Pu’ar is just along for the ride to make concerned quips. (He has nothing to ask he’s just there for moral support) 

MANY HOURS PASS THEY FINALLY REACH BABA and Baba is rightfully pissed. She could’ve been making a lot of money that day, like, the fuck man. Yamcha asks Baba if he’s destined to meet the girl he’d ultimately end up with. 

Baba just says “looks like you already met her.” And Yamcha is just like WAT And Baba is just like “Yeah. You already did. Don’t think u noticed tho. That’s ur own fault.” 

So at this point yamcha is pretty fuckin shook and asKS WHERE SHE’S AT NOW AND WHERE HE CAN MEET HER. And Baba jus denies answering that question and if he wants to ask more shit he better pay up a hundred million zeni. “NEXT.” 

Out of desperation, Yamcha now begs his cynical child to ask Baba about his own bs. Yantan doesn’t want to. They make some kind of deal that i do not know the details of as of yet that ultimately makes Yantan agree to waste her free question about her future on her wacky father. 

So SHE asks where tf Yamcha can meet this lady and Baba reveals her location. THEN THEY IMMEDIATELY FUCKIN LEAVE TO DO JUST THAT. And by “they” i mean Yamcha leaves and Yantan and Pu’ar have to follow behind. #Comedy

So Yamcha ends up in the general area of where this “person” is. It’s off putting a bit - and by a bit I mean A LOT because it’s a frickin’ jungle full of mega-flora and wild animals everywhere- totally the last place any person would be at all. Yamcha ultimately lets that slide. 

Yamcha suddenly freaks out at the realization that hE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT HE’S GONNA SAY and that he really didn’t think any of this through. What SHOULD even say? That he came all the way here to date this woman and come across some kind of weirdo or creep?? And if he already met this person WHEN DID HE MEET THEM? It could literally be any girl he’s ever met in his life. He doesn’t even know her name so how would he know who the right person is?? Amongst a fuckton of other million miles a minute thoughts. 

(2018 OUTLINE NOTE END)

When it comes to that specific set up prior to the jungle, idk if I still wanna follow it. But It’s something. 

Here comes my end of 2019 “I haven’t thought about this in eons” amendment: 

Leaving off of Yamcha’s panic attack I’m pretty sure he and Marzi run into each other via some kind of dinosaur hijinks. I’m pretty sure if memory serves Marzi was TRYING to feed dinosaurs as she usually does (she’s living her life after all), but for some reason on this day she had a technical failure. THIS would also have to serve as Marzi’s first proper introduction ever, so this event would also have to function as a way of establishing who she is as a character as well. God knows what that would entail.

Which, in this situation, she’d mostly come across as a person whose “eyes emoji” appearance doesn’t line up with being in an untamed jungle decking around with a carnivorous and predatory animal. 

The only reason Yams wouldn’t remember meeting her was because their actual first meeting was more of a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it encounter 30 years ago that wasn’t really relevant to his own memory. (Not even worth getting into here tbh, it’s so brief) So, y’know. Fuck you Baba.

It’s hard to say if Marzi herself would recognize Yamcha right away considering the last time she saw him, Yamcha was soft-faced with short hair and all cutesy 21st tournament looking, which THAT to NOW is quite the jump— but rest assured she does. It’s hard to say what her initial reaction would’ve been in response to suddenly running back into your one-sided high school infatuation after 3 decades of absolute radio silence. My mind always pictured some kind of comical reaction. 

Either way, this shit should happen only after the wacky hijinks, because!!! THAT’S THE KIND OF WORLD THIS IS! I wanted a bizarre action set piece that ends comedically quickly because Yamcha essentially has god powers. (WHICH, YEAH. HE DOES. Especially in comparison to how he was in early DB. By this point this guy went from above-average martial arts protégée to full on superhero) If I still had the energy for DB I would have scribbled a possible visual demonstration but, I really doooon’t jgvhgbkhjj

A wise man made this summarizing prediction really and I think this is the best thing to follow: 

“I sort of figured Marzi ran into him one day after everything kind of settled down and he wasn’t dead or in space or something, and there was an awkward period where she wasn’t sure what to do about him being so accessible. And Yamcha didn’t know her well to begin with, so to him she’s just an eligible bachelorette, and he fusses over how to impress her, because he has no idea that she’s been fascinated with him for decades.” - a wise man, 2019.

So yeah. That. 

[shadowsong26fic]

Coming Attractions!

First Monday of the month, woohoo!

(And also kind of a NaNo roundup post because that was last month, after all…)

NaNo:

Sooooo I didn’t finish, lol. Not that I was…super expecting to, exactly, but I was hopeful! I think I just missed too many days in a row and lost all my momentum.

In terms of my goals, I was hoping to write:

1. 20-25k on Precipice 2. 20-25k on our faces like a mirror 3. 10-20k on Other Projects. 4. 50-70k total

In terms of what I actually accomplished:

1. 9,241 on Precipice (Sooooooo....about half of what I’d hoped, a little less. But I still got a fair amount done/prepped for upcoming chapters, plus a couple chapters actually posted, even while doing other stuff, so...go me!) 2. 9,043 on our faces like a mirror (Again, a bit less than half of what I’d hoped for, but I got enough done for the story/etc. to take a real Shape in my head. ...ish. See the specific OFLAM stuff later on in the post...) 3. 10,601 on Other Projects (Hey, I actually met this goal! ...barely, but still! Mostly thanks to the Nikita/Rebels crossover, lol...) 4. 28,885 total

Original Fiction:

I got a decent chunk of a big backstory piece for Lux done (in the form of a “then” and “now” set of scenes/vignettes for the five Archangels)--that being said, I’m not sure I actually like what I have there, lol. I know more or less what I need to cover, but the details are fiddly. Also not sure whether I should refer to Lux by her current name, for consistency’s sake, or use a different name (either Lightbringer or just Lucifer) since she does technically reshape her name after being released when the main Apocalypse storyline kicks off…also debating whether Lux should be/present as female way back when--angels don’t really do gender the way humans do in this ‘verse, but the closest human term for Lux would be genderfluid, sooooo IDK. Also also, for the ‘Now’ part…ehhh, I’m not sure I should have this be the first thing I post involving Trixie…but I’ll keep poking at it and see what comes out.

(I’d also planned to work on the big Kesshare character study saturation for The Farglass Cycle this month, and maybe go back to my untitled first-contact story, but neither of those happened, lol.)

Precipice:

We’re in the home stretch! Kinda. So to speak. Probably three to four more chapters in Arc Seven, which I’m hoping-fingers-crossed I’ll finish by the end of the calendar year??? (But given how much other stuff I hope to work on (see Other Fanfic Projects for more details…)

At that point--and I know I’ve said this before, and I’ll probably put it in an A/N in the next chapter or so, but following the end of Milestones, I’m planning to break off into a second/sequel fic, working title Protectors. This is at least in part because length (over 200k wtf I was anticipating 50-75k, maybe 100k, for these seven arcs @.@), but also was sort of planned even without the Length issue, due to some thematic/structure shifts following a six-year timeskip. Which, if you do the math, you can probably figure out where that’ll land us and why I might be structuring it this way…

Anyway, I’ve increasingly realized that there’s some stuff I should probably set up that I’ll need for later arcs in Part 2 involving some Rebels characters, more with the Last Batch, plus a Sith Apprentice who needs to turn up and die (although the gap between Infernalis and the next apprentice I actually care about/have a name and some kind of Plot for is only about four years in my mental timeline, so maybe there isn’t an active Apprentice in that period*…hmmmmm…), some background about the Hands, etc. But I feel like it’s all a little too disjointed for an entire additional arc. So, Arc 7.5, tentatively titled Preludes, is also going to be a thing XD I don’t think I’ll have a fixed schedule for that vs. the main storyline--and, honestly, it’ll probably work more like a collection of one-shots taking place during the timeskip than a proper Arc, but a little more Relevant than stuff that goes in Bonus Content, if that makes sense? It’ll probably be posted alongside at least arcs 8 and 9. Which, incidentally, take place more or less back-to-back and cover a fairly short period of time, but there is A Lot of plot/setup that goes into them. Like. If I tried to do it all as one arc, it’d be at least twice as long as any of the other arcs I’ve done, possibly including Arc Four--certainly over twenty chapters, I think--plus there’s a good (and by good I mean Horrible) place where I can split the arcs, so…we’ll see how that goes.

(…still not sure what to do with Maul, lol. He may just be Sir Darth Not-Appearing-In-This-Fic, or he might turn up in arc 10/11/13, which are the sort of vaguest of the next seven arcs which make up Protectors, in terms of how much I have planned out…)

(*On a semi-related note, I’ve been asked about Inquisitors a couple times in comments lately, and…well, I’ll probably mention this when I reply to the commenter in question, but I figured I’d set it out here as well, in case anyone else was wondering the same thing but doesn’t read other peoples’ comments. Like I’m pretty sure I mentioned at the start, when I plotted out** the bulk of this fic, I hadn’t seen Rebels yet. I’ve since decided to integrate a few characters/plot points (Kallus and Zeb will feature prominently in a subplot in arcs 13 and 14, for example), but, as a rule, characters and plot points from Rebels haven’t been taken into account unless I Really Like Them and/or they’re a good way to fill in a plot hole in a later arc, as with Kallus and Zeb. So, for example, when I include Thrawn, I’m writing more towards Legends!Thrawn in terms of personality, though the two have blended a bit in my head and I do reference specific events in Disney!Thrawn’s personal timeline; and b) more relevantly, I hadn’t made any plans to include Inquisitors, and that…hasn’t really changed. So, I might have them in Preludes, but they almost certainly won’t show up on-page/be super-relevant in the main arcs of the fic, sorry :/ )

(**Loooool I say “Plotted Out” like I’m the kind of author with a Master Plan or at least an outline. But I did have a general idea of the Major Plot Points going in, such as when Rex and Ahsoka would turn up, Luke’s storyline with Lavinia, how many Apprentices I would need to make them work, etc., and I’ve had parts of Arcs 8, 9, and 14 written for like at least two years now, so I know more or less where I’m going--though they’ll be edited once I have more of the connective tissue in place, in case I’ve accidentally Jossed myself…or I change my mind, which is becoming A Possibility with a major event set to happen in Arc 14, so…we’ll see.)

Aaaaaanyway. Exciting times ahead, I hope!

Other Fanfic:

This month, I finally posted another AU outline, woohoo! …I mean, it was a super-niche Nikita/Rebels crossover with a handful of OCs thrown in but who’s counting XD (I do actually intend to finish Let’s Go Steal a Crossover and update the Ventress one at some point but…yeah).

I also put out a Kallus one-shot that I think turned out really well. May do more of those at some point, who knows…

I made some significant progress on our faces like a mirror, as mentioned above! But now I’m waffling a little bit over structure. Basically, the fic covers Bo-Katan’s backstory from the time Satine becomes Duchess, through the Civil War, and eventually leads to Bo’s eventual break with her sister to join Death Watch. It comes in two pretty distinct halves--what I call the Fugitive arc in my notes, which covers the Civil War, and the Breakdown arc, which is everything after her return to Sundari.

So, my original plan was--prologue covering at least part of the final Epic Screaming Match that leads to Bo’s departure; jump back to the Fugitive Arc; and then follow through until we catch up to the prologue, with a coda/epilogue with her and Pre Viszla. The problem is, there’s…really not a lot to connect the two halves??

I’ve got a couple options on what to do about this, but I’m not sure which would be best.

Option One: Keep the structure as-is and just let it be episodic.

Option Two: Keep the structure as-is and find some way to connect the two halves (i.e., a recurring antagonist; I do have an idea of who this could be, but the problem is, it takes away a good chunk of the focus from Bo and Satine’s relationship for the Breakdown Arc…which I don’t really want to do.)

Option Three: Remove the framing device and focus on the Breakdown Arc, and include the Fugitive Arc as flashbacks, since the Breakdown Arc can’t really stand on its own. (The main issue I have with this one is that, if I want to actually write out future chunks of Bo’s life later--meaning, her time with Death Watch, and getting her from TCW to Rebels--I won’t have these flashbacks and I don’t want to change the structure too radically for any eventual sequels? Also, I’m not sure how I feel about a flashback structure for this fic in general…)

Option Four: Remove the framing device and focus on the Fugitive Arc, ending the story with Bo’s return to Sundari. (Two issues with this one--I really do want to go into the Breakdown Arc; that’s where my interest in this story started. Also, due to the constraints of setting and so on, Bo interacts with…like…two canon characters over the course of the Fugitive Arc? And while I don’t really have a problem writing a story that’s essentially a Backstory Epic for a tertiary character, populated by about 90% OCs, I’m not sure anyone actually wants to read that, except as the lead-in to the Breakdown Arc??? But maybe I’m overthinking…)

…so, yeah. Any thoughts/opinions on which option would be Best? (I may make a separate post asking the same question later, but figured I’d lay it all out here, too!)

Also, I’m working on a Secret Santa project, and probably not going to use OFLAM for SWBB, which means I need to come up with and write a different plotline of some kind, so back to the drawing board on that one…

Also also, I do genuinely plan to get Distaff off hiatus At Some Point, especially since I’ve gotten some new comments/responses lately…but given how much else I have on my plate, writing-wise, that probably won’t happen until next year, alas.

Anyway, the long and short of it is--lots of writing planned for this month! Now let’s see how much I actually get done XD

What about the rest of you? What’ve y’all been up to/what do you have planned for next month?

[bronanlynch]

writer rec meme

tagged by @girlfriendsofthegalaxy thank u friend!!

1. A fic you are proud of?

so I wrote my youth is yours (friends at the table: spring in hieron; benjamin/blue j) for secret samol this year during a time when I was. not having a good time and also had lots of essay deadlines and I was behind on my penumbra minibang fic so I. started working on it really late and barely finished it in time to not miss the posting period and I was so worried abt it and then somehow wrote the entire 5.3k thing in a few days and it turned out well?? people liked it??? so I’m proud of myself for somehow managing that

(side note looking back at it now is funny bc u can tell I wrote it before I fell completely into ephrim/throndir since the background ship is still throndir/red jack. although like. throndir has 2 hands and should kiss both of them tbh)

2. A fic you are excited about?

of the things that I’ve posted so far, I’m still really happy abt lend me your heart and I’ll just let you fall (julius caesar; brutus/cassius) which is. incredibly silly and self-indulgent like. is it my best work? probably not! did I have a very fun time writing it? yes I did! it’s caesar but In Space and the worldbuilding is a mess of things stolen from various other sci-fi franchises and I’m so glad it exists in the world

a slightly more serious answer is I’m gonna love and give it a name (transformers comics; bumblebee/starscream) which I like bc. ok. there’s not much beescream fic and I’m super picky abt it and I like being able to reread this and get hit w exactly the emotions I want from this ship. I think the beginning could’ve used just a lil more editing but the whole second half makes me emo so

I don’t. do multichapter fic so I can’t really rec any wips which I feel like this is actually asking abt lmao. my main wips are the friends at the table thing I need to hurry up and post before the next episode drops, and the g*me of thr*nes fix-it/rewrite of most of canon bc it’s bad that I’ve been picking away at for. literally three (3) years now including when I lost all of it when my hard drive died in fall 2017 and I learned a valuable lesson abt backing up my shit. someday I’ll finish that fic and then I’ll be free of the hold that mess of a series has on my brain

3. A fic that was challenging to write?

when the sun comes (try not to hate the light) (the penumbra podcast; juno/nureyev + sasha/rita) was my penumbra minibang fic and it was. also written while I was having a hard time, I struggled w the deadline, and I’d never tried to write fic that long or plot-y before (I also ended up cutting basically the entire ~plot that was in my outline and just focusing on the emotional arcs and the vampire tropes which is. valid of me)

4. A fic that was something you hadn’t tried before?

bringing the heat and the word is out (friends at the table: counter/weight; diego/augustus) which I wrote for the fatt rarepair swap was the first time I tried to do something non-chronological and I was also balancing 3 point of view characters when I usually stick to one or two but I really like how it turned out, figuring out how to arrange the different sections was really fun

(also that’s a fic that I would rec even if u know nothing abt the fandom bc it’s minor side characters and has very little to do w the main storyline but it’s good and fun and up until the penumbra mini-bang I considered it the best thing I’d ever written)

5. If you had to choose one fic above all to share, what would it be?

tbh probably when the sun comes, bc it’s the most ambitious fic I’ve written and it’s recent so it’s prob a pretty good representation of me as a writer, but since I wanna. share something different for this question so

I could be violet sky (friends at the table: spring in hieron; samothes/hadrian/samot) is one of my absolute favorites tbh, I’m not sure how much sense it makes if u don’t have at least a little knowledge of hieron lore but I’m kinda tempted to say just read it anyway. there are divorced gods who are still in love and also both probably into someone who’s kind of the paladin of both of them. there’s clothes sharing and also dream sharing

sorry I know I was supposed to pick one and also that I’ve recced so many fatt fics even though probably only like 5 of you care abt that but I reread made of nebulas and novas and night sky (friends at the table: counter/weight; sokrates/integrity; written for the fatt nb swap last summer) for the first time since I posted it while looking through my ao3 for this meme and hey? it’s good actually?? do you like estranged siblings learning to get along again and someone realizing they’re basically married to the alien ai who shares their mind + body (think venom but they’re both a little less of a disaster)? then I have the fic for you! (can also probably be read without much background knowledge bc they’re fairly minor characters and also Imo u should read it anyway bc I think it’s p good)

oh man Idk who to tag for this, if you write things and you wanna do the thing, consider yourself tagged

[fantroll-purgatory]

Ooookay

Howdy dude! Hope you are having a better day than mine. Anyways, I recently went about making a trollsona, but I don’t have all the details filled in. I’m hoping you could help me with that. Note, there is a lot of lore, very extensive lore that goes on in my story, specifically around my character’s heritage, so I’ll try to keep this as short as possible for you. Thanks again for your time! (*Rubs hands together* Muahahahahahahahahaha…. Lore…..) (Okay more importantly this will be my first Trollsona review! I’m a bit anxious about touching characters based on like… real people because there’s a lot of potential for hurt feelings but! Let’s get into it~) -SA

World: Alternia (At least in the beginning? Gets lost in space at some point)

Name: Harley (Dusk) Halvenson. Goes by both names at different intervals of his life, or even depending on how he’s feeling that day. Harley comes from mostly my own choice, kind of coming with this idea that his name doesn’t sound like a normal troll name? Halvenson comes from like I said, years worth of backstory that gets factored into my trolls story. He has a heritage, and he’s not quite sure about all the details.

If you wanted to go with ‘not sounding like a normal troll name’, that’d lean more towards Lime Troll territory than your boy here. You should probably integrate it into his backstory more. How did he get this name and why did he get it? He’s isolated from troll society for the mostpart, so there’s lot of opportunity for things like him not even HAVING a name and picking one for himself and stuff like that. 

Age: 8 sweeps (about 17.3 human years)

Theme/Story: Dusk grew up in a large house, mostly by his own except for the watchful eye of his lusis, who ushered him to and fro, keeping him locked inside, only allowing him to use the computer under a username, which is where Dusk comes from. He meets his friends in an anonymous chatroom, and slowly begins to make friends. Years of being sort of caged in, plus his stubborn purple blooded self can be very difficult to deal with, convince, etc, but he can be quite funny, and quickly grows to care deeply for his friends, wanting so badly to tell them about his life, but knowing of that many purple bloods slowly fall insane, and is afraid to hurt his friends and truly open himself to them. Then one day, his lusus vanishes, and there seems to be strange activity outside his home, so arms himself, and ventures out into the real world, sparking the adventure of a lifetime. Oh jeez, I was kinda reading through some of the stuff I wrote for Harley, and I realized I missed a few things. For one, I kinda wanted to go with a goth look for him? Which is why he kinda has the lipstick, longer eyelashes, not as colorful design, etc. but that’s all superficial, I also forgot the mention that he has a fascination with magic and the unknown, which is why he took to learning chucklevoodoo. All of that factors into where his handle comes from. i hope this helps.

Goals: 1) To find out what happened to his lusus/what was going on outside, and 2) to find his friends/make sure they are okay.

(My goals for this review are going to be preserving your vision, as opposed to changing things to fit what’s here. I’m sure the extensive #Lore will appreciate not being upended too much.)

Strife: Umbrellakind (later this is destroyed in a duel, replaces is with a more clown themed weapon, as his sanity then begins to degrade)

*As he is consumed by his blood impulses. Purpleblood murderviolence has more to do with Being A Purpleblood and like, not having self control, not “sanity”. “Insane” =/= violent. 

Modus: Dusk is an artist, so probably a drawing modus? I think jade had one of those…)

Blood: Purple Blooded

Symbol: Doesn’t really have one? Suggestions are always welcome

(Canon EZ symbol is…)

( CAPRIGO, SIGN OF THE LACUNA) (A lacuna, for reference, is an unfilled space or gap. Such as in a book, in a bone, or, in your character’s case, history.)

If he was separated from trolls, though, you could give him something totally different. How external to troll society is he? If he is more intertwined with human Raising then you might even be justified giving him a kid symbol.  

Handle: unendingCryptozoology

Quirk: Not sure, suggestions here would be cool?

(Maybe he has a bad habit of SHOUTING HIS PROFOUND THOUGHTS! out into the void when he talks to people. Classic nutty professor/mad scientist vibes.)

Special Abilities: Chucklevoodoo magic, can easily visualize and meticulously plan out his drawings in his head?

Lusus: I was thinking a cat Lusus, as cats are cool, and I like them? Idk lol

(Purples have weirdly half-aquatic lusii that they often rarely interact with. What about… a shark-cat. All the playful aloofness of the feline with the predatory bite of the shark?)

Interests: Primarily drawing, likes taking on all types of drawing. Also enjoys playing bass guitar? I thought this might be an interesting point, as he’s conflicted with both time and space? (I don’t know if you were looking at Jade for this, but a Bass playing Space Player is quite literally Jade’s thing. I’m curious where the Handle comes from with this interest list? Is he into cryptids or not? Which is it?) (It may be entirely design based, but I took one look at this troll and went: HP Lovecraft? Is that you? He looks just like a Lovecraft protag who goes and finds out he’s actually part fishman. I think if you’re gonna have him be into cryptids and his plot is partially about genetics, ancestry, and identity (and then madness) you’ve got a pretty classic Lovecraft plot here.)

Could I also suggest calligraphy because of my #6 joke up there. 

Appearance:

Personality: Described as a bit “eccentric”, Dusk is constantly full of ideas, and likes to experiment, draw, and build, but is frustrated when his creations don’t work, or look right, being a pretty big perfectionist, and often is his own worst critic. Often gets stuck in his own way, as he doesn’t see where his inventions, his art, or even the way he says things, were wrong. Nonetheless, he tries to rectify his mistakes, and cares deeply about his friends, always a listener for when they are down. Despite this, he often doesn’t tell his friends what is going on with him, and can be extremely problematic. A loyal and devoted friend, and a little bit insecure, Dusk is a person with goals, and isn’t afraid to reach them.

(This is a pretty classic space player. Space players are the creators and innovators of the Aspects, and even if he’s stifling himself, that Space potential is still lurking, pushing itself out.)

Lunar Sway: Prospit

Title: X of Space? I was thinking heir, help here would be appreciated. (I think you’ve got the makings of either a Space player or it’s dark mirror, Void. He’s a maker and creator, even if it’s negative, but he also has an interest in the dark and the unknown, which is the classic call of the Void.) (Class-wise, if you want some good character development out of him, I’d lean further towards Active than Passive. My initial thought, believe it or not, is Maid.) (He’s got the classic Maid character arc, with the passive beginning, the mounting frustration/lack of self analysis, and culminating in a mad freakout that you’ve already written in.)

Land: I was thinking land of Mirrors and Shadows. Mirrors representing his introspect at his flaws and his own perfectionism, and shadows representing the fears of his oncoming insanity.

If he’s a space player, you’re gonna need some Frogs in there. Land of Mirrors and Frogs probably works just as well.

Design party: 

Not much changed here! Eyes went back to the traditional yellow, because I wasn’t sure why the purple. The mouth was too obviously Vriska’s, so I changed it up a bit. Black Outlines traditionally read human so I changed it to a light grey. Alternian Goth is red, not black, so I gave him some red striped pants. That’s all I’d really change!

Thanks for your time! Any constructive feedback is great. There are some things that won’t change, but it’s always great to have another pair of eyes of the situation. Again, thank you! (Hopefully this helps, then! -SA)

[skittidyne]

tagged by @lethesomething! thanks darling

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?

hahaha. i’ve been stuck with “skitty” as a name since 05, but i went from “digital skitty” to “skittidyne” when i made the jump to tumblr. i wanted something that wasn’t my “professional” name, but could still be skitty-ish, and so i decided to throw some persona into the mix, because that’s how i be. 

“skitty” is a pokemon and the “-dyne” suffix is the highest tier of attack spell in the persona series. and it looked better with an i rather than a y. so i guess i’m the highest tier of skitty spell!

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos).

pedestal hands down. (bbac isn’t even half as popular by any of those categories.) 

3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?

it’s ryoji from persona 3! i chose it because... i love ryoji... even when i was drawing regularly, i rarely used my own art as my icons anywhere, except dA or actual art-hosting sites. 

4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?

oh god i know i’m going to leave people out, and I LOVE YOU ALL, but beechichi liveblogs shit to me on twitter, curiouslylazy leaves me comments longer than chapters, greatdanesandpandas leaves me amazing capslocked comments across several of my stories, haruhi02 and rd both leave AMAZING liveblog type comments on bbac, and unexpectedly but delightfully like every commenter on the kamafuta fake dating story is like, so kind and nice. (upside to writing a rarepair!) 

but i love all of my commenters and there are LOTS i’m missing here and trust me i do notice who comments regularly and across several stories ;; 

5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?

ghost story, character development, sayuri, a heart swelled to bursting, settling down, the thirty-six stratagems of wáng jìngzé ... a lot of smut fics... (a lot of smut fics)

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?

211 subscribed to, and 112 bookmarks on ao3! 88 bookmarks on ff.net.

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?

i mean. bbac, i guess. i like things with a magical slant, but i don’t ever stick around the exact same universe for multiple stories? 

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)

285 subscriptions to me, idk how to check how many are bookmarked to me? can you bookmark authors on ao3? 727 subscribed & 1043 faved on ff.net though. 

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)

hmm. i’d love to write a mafia/yakuza au one day, but i’m not sure i’m afraid of ppl judging me. i think i just don’t want to do that much research. i’d also love to write a sugaring au one day, if only out of PURE BITTERNESS, but that’s a lot of smut to write, and i’m afraid i’d probably start fights in the comments section. 

there’s not a lot i’m more scared of writing compared to other things, i guess. 

10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.

commenting! leaving comments would be nice. truthfully, i’d like to work on my personal self-discipline when it comes to writing and getting things done, even though my output is pretty high imo. also, i guess romance writing. 

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?

uhhhhhh. i never purposefully do either, and in naruto fandom i spent some time in rarepair hell, and apparently kamafuta is a fuckin rarepair so i’m again sitting in that lonely little boat, but i also tend toward more popular ships in hq fandom, at least. both? probably popular ships? 

12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?

27 on ao3! 

13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?

uhhhhhhhhhhhhh. if we’re going to get technical about it... 

counting side story collections as 1 “story”, i got: 

61 on googledocs, 16 more on my harddrive. 

i don’t want to meet anyone’s eye right now

14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?

i ABSOLUTELY keep them in my head. if i start writing ANYTHING down, even if it’s notes or title ideas or character ideas, i know i’ve already lost the war, and i’m committed to writing something. 

15. Have you ever co-authored a story?

yep! oh it puts the heart in my chest on wings was with the amazing @h-lovely and where the wild things go was with the lovely @kaiyouchan!

also, technically @tarotdactyl is listed as a co-author on operation: poison tree frog, because it’s his fault, but i’m technically the one doing all of the writing for it. for some reason

16. How did you discover AO3?

i mean, i was on lj and ff.net. things migrated. i don’t remember specifically how it happened. 

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3?

shrug emoji... i suppose i am? i think i still am in pokemon fandom, i know i’m not in naruto fandom, and i don’t even know anymore in hq fandom. (i guess only hq fandom matters on ao3)

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?

skittens!! 

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?

@avoidingavoidance and @silvercistern are #writing goals, and while she’s only just writing now herself, my mother has always been a devoted supporter of my writing. past that, it was just reader feedback that kept me goin’ onward. 

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?

KEEP WITH IT. COMMIT TO YOUR IDEA. there is no such thing as a bad idea, and even “bad” ideas, if committed to, can turn into FANTASTIC stories/characters/arcs. absolutely keep going, no matter what. 

21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?

both, haha. i’m trying to get outlines more and more these days, mostly because i guess i’m working with others and for some reason they can’t read my mind. hm. 

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?

dude, i was in the pokemon fandom when farla was still around. 

yeah, i’ve gotten things that could be considered “flames”. i’ve accidentally started a ship war, and i’ve gotten nasty shipping-related comments on stories, too. hell, i’ve fought with readers over that sort of thing before. 

i’ve also had rude commenters, commenters who probably just didn’t know any better, and commenters who missed the point so badly i had to go scream into a pillow. it happens. 

for the most part, i try to respond to comments/reviews, because that’s how i was raised on the internet. i try to be polite and pleasant these days, but i’ll put my foot down. i try not to be rude or mean, though. 

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)

smut. it’s always goddamn smut. 

romance in general, though. i’m good with the emotional intimacy and casual physical intimacy, but half the time i end up with more of that between the best friend characters than the ships, so... i dunno. i’d like to be more comfortable writing romance, up to and DEFINITELY including smut. 

24. What story(s) are you working on now?

bbac, political intrigue, magical girl au, fake dating au, and a couple of random oneshots. 

25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?

look, i ain’t happy if i’m not juggling projects. so i guess that’s a given. 

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?

only during nanowrimo! some days, i don’t write a word, and other days, i’m easily in the thousands. i’m content with either, because i can only force it so often. 

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?

absolutely. even when it feels like i’m stagnating with that dreaded 67-75% of the story completed zone, i know every word i write betters me as an author. 

28. What is your favorite story that you’ve written?

oh man, that’s so hard... mostly, that comes down less to emotion, and more to “what was easiest for me to write”... 

maybe pedestal. but maybe only because i’ve been feeling nostalgic lately, and it’s easy to love a story once it’s completed. 

29. What is your least favorite story that you’ve written?

haha i don’t want to say

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?

finishing bbac

completed trilogy & completed standalone original novels completed, probably in a new fandom, probably agonizing over yet another 500k novel fanfic

31. What is the easiest thing about writing?

momentum!! god, when you have it, EVERYTHING IS AWESOME

32. What is the hardest thing about writing?

trying to keep momentum... actually, probably, forcing yourself through a scene you KNOW has to get done and you even know what happens in it, but it’s just not happening. bleh. 

33. Why do you write?

for the attention and monetary gain (๑꒪▿꒪)* 

nah, it’s to share stories with people. i like ideas, i like turning ideas into bigger ideas, and i like people’s reactions to those ideas. it’s like friendship sharing except i don’t have to be social! <3 

i’m not tagging anyone directly but if you are an author type and like being tagged then grab this UP!