#idk how i didnt realise that before | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

foileadeux · 2 years

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some angry dream hollow and ghost

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daphnalia · 1 year

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i have made so many drawings of yeet and killa and the worst part is that NO ONE WANTS TO SEE THEM ARHEHAA🗣️🗣️💥

but anyways when have i ever cared about that

#killa redisigb we stay winning!!#i just didnt wanna draw that sorta jacket her old design had.. so #i have more for the record #these are the finished ones #dndads #dungeons and daddies #yeet bigly #killa demall #i heart them #shoutout to those two people who saw these before i posted them u know who u are💥#and shoutout to zillylilguyz whos one of the people i just mentioned and got me completely cooked on the mtf/ftm killa and yeet #i am on such a posting roll today!! thats so crazy dude #second post todya #oh yeah btw this is probably not thwm as twelve year olds if it wasnt obvious #idk i dont know how to draw kids #actuallt i just realised i think i might be drawing yeet with an eyepatch in the wrong eye..#who careeesss

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arsenicflame · 1 year

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i love this is how you lose the time wars take on love changing you. you were changed before i ever knew you. i changed you so you could become the person i would fall in love with.

#idk just the. there is red in blue and blue in red gets me. so hard #red realising it was blue out there when she was 13. that pivotal moment that shaped the rest of her life. that brought her here. red didnt #even know the danger just what she saw of blue.#blue talking about getting sick and being cast out and changed and wrong and then red remembering that and using that memory #to save blue. to make her reds. to make her the person who would never quite fit in in garden. someone who would reach out to an enemy agent #i loved you before i never knew you #i was shaped to be yours #nyxtalks #tihylttw #this is how you lose the time war

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wife · 3 months

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reading about peoples experiences with childhood loneliness on reddit is like wrow... i'm a special girl i see

#🎇#everyone aches for connection & fantasises of friendship and etc #i never realised i was missing something because i never got to experience it #i was quite content to be alone because i didn't realise there was an alternate way to be?#i. hm. well i wont go into traumaposting here but idk how much of a lonely child's need for connection is based on their parental #relationships + the friendships they have in their really early childhood before u get old enough to be considered Weird.#u have that memory of attachment and still want to attach to other people (?)#idk. i didn't have that . so when i was socially isolated when i was older it just didn't occur to me it was happening it was business as #usual + id already adapted to being alone and etc. i didnt have any sort of positive interactions to miss or crave #its hard to talk about my experience with loneliness with other people because its just. not what other people have experienced #and they assume we're on the same page with how desperately u want to feel Connected to others and have friends and so on and i just can't #relate at all. my childhood was living deeply in my internal world and not realising other people really existed #which is its own post. not going into it it would take 5 million years

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puhpandas · 4 months

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I keep thinking about how on earth they would canonize ggy bc like. at this point if they have to sacrifice Gregory screentime of just him to make something we already know actually canon, I would rather just take the screentime, but on the other hand they have to canonize it if they want to do anything at all with that plotline, and that makes me wonder if theyll stick with it as canon in the games at all or just leave it as background knowledge if u read the book 😭

#like i love ggy just as much as the nezt person and go crazy at how canon it is but not yet #but also i like gregory a lot more and ggy isnt the only reason hes my favorite #gregory was my favorite for a whole year before ggy even came out #i want him as a person to be developed more than his ggy plot when we already know its real #but gregory himself desperately needs more time focused on his character to tell us more about him #maybe give some context to some of his decisions #best case scenario honestly is Gregory has a protagonist plotline where it showcases his character and relationships with others #as the game progresses naturally with dialogue and stuff (freddy and vanessa being his guides or something)#with the focus being saving cassie #but as the game reaches its climax gregory realises for some reason or another that apparently he was ggy and did all those things #and was the mimics fave #but its established he had amneisa before security breach so he didnt remember and still doesnt #he just knows he did it and has to deal #so it doesnt completely take over everything else about his character #and then whatever happens at the end of that game has cassie saved and joining 3 star #who GOT DEVELOPMENT in this hypothetical #like idk i want ggy to be canon but i dont want it to overtake gregory #yknow what i mean #it should be background to him not the other way around #vanessa and cassie already have that big main possession plotline #pandas.txt #tbh if they replace gregorys backstory with something equally interesting I'll be ok with no game ggy #we already have a whole book to mess around with i wouldn't mind it being a little au even tho i know it isnt #its VERY canon and ill 100% be alright and happy w game ggy #but im nervous for how they would establish it in a game if at all #with how much gregory needs screentime just as a character and if he'd need to wait even longer after a ggy reveal #thoughts #gregory

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rearranging-deck-chairs · 9 months

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noooo you can let me describe the doctors body trust me i totally wont be weird about it this time

#me explaining why the doctor is hot: well theyre old enough to be my messiah so jot that down #also a body thats died many times #me opening the powerpoint: so before we begin hands up how many of you have spent more time than you should thinking abt jesus' body #church was like and this is body of christ and me being 7 and autistic took that in every way they DIDNT mean #anyway sorry yaz not sure what exactly the sin is here but im pretty sure uhhh it is one #its usually the master doing this #but yaz is taking the masters place in this fic so #that tracks i guess #gonna have to figure out how to take the pronouns out of this too #also look at the third person/second person flipflopping #i do that kind of a lot but i realised in this paragraph maybe thats because..........there isnt a third person imperative uhh mode?#is that a mode we call that idk #there ISNT a third person imperative right? thats just second person?#i think so #but its interesting bc thats like the main way my narration flipflops #idk if thats like bad. bad writer habit or whatever #if it is i dont really care #it doesnt bother ME so #idk if it bothers anyone else #one time i had a fun paragraph in the doctors pov where it went from its standard 3rd to 2nd to 1st. 1st plural i think #and then Back to 3rd distance yourself from yourself dont get too close #anyway

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theodoravery · 7 months

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litg mcs — s4 to s8: olive, rina, margo, bina & gabi

#saw some1 sharing and i wanted to as well!!#would love to add 1-3 but i may have forgotten to take pics before the seasons got deleted :-)#anyways. my baby bina got done sooo dirty she's supposed to be a gorg brown girlie and instead looks like a white girl w a tan #also wouldve loved to have the two braids last season #for anyone curious: olive ended up w angie/ rina w lulu but i hc they broke up and she got w gabi after a while #margo ended up w chloe<3/ bina w rafael (although i didnt even finish s7 bc of how bad it was)#and i still dk what im gonna do with gabi. ill for sure pick jin this week but im ngl im still waiting to see who else comes in #but yea. jin is sooo my type. makes me insane #love island the game #litg #btw idk if u guys noticed but the s8 clothes don't fit the bigger body. it made me sooo mad when i realised #that's so lazy of them

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hauntingblue · 16 days

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I don't know what to say... everyone got a happy ending except the people who actually wanted a real revolution and had a cause for it... but it's not like we had much of their opinions on this I guess... also no final lez sex scene... tragic

#the man silver is looking for is thomas i know it..... thats why flint wont kill him..... he will pop out with the i know where thomas is #flint and co being down to guerrilla tactics.... OH JACK MADE IT SKFJSKSJSK #silver realising that he did this tantrum that broke their crew apart for nothing cause flint really wangs madi alive.... DUMBASS #you know what i think the change between season in centering mostly everything around silver instead of flint kinda diminishes the causes #for billys grievances and betrayal and kinda descent into madness lmao bc his problem is with flint but it kinda is blurred in the distance #idk billy is very against flint and so was silver but the moment he got close to him those issues disappeared almost completely bc #novody complains about flint anymore... its just billy in the background and he just sounds petty #and then with silvers betrayal of flint bc of madi is just not deep enough like yeah your wife but that relationship is not developed...#and silvers relationship with flint actually is so it doesnt make sense #fistfight on the crows nest.... wow.... and billy drowns again!!!#is jack going to fight the governor HE IS GOING TO DIEE!!!#YEAAAAAH TWO AGAINST ONE KILL HIM!! FLINT KICK HIM WHILE HE IS DOWN!!!!#madi is alive my god..... silver was gon a end it all real quick #we could have done this before with twice the men but alas...#why is everything so eerie what is going on.... what is going to happen #MY GOD!!! FLINT IS MAKING ME CRY WHE IS HE SMILING AND PLEADING!!!! MY GOD!!!! FLINT YOU NEED TO MURDER HIM #EXACTLY WDYM THIS WAS ALL FOR NOTHING!!! CASTING IN THE DARK FOR SOME PROOF THAT YOU MATTERED AND FINDING NONE!!!#THE FUCKING TREATY MADI WOULDNT ACCEPT!!! SILVER YOU ARE NOTHING!!!!!#of course thomas was there....#silver i hate you but that was beautiful #them gaying out in the middle of the field akdbakns the soldiers just 🧍🏻‍♂️#you didnt betray her until now but it is literally the thought that counts #billy STILL ALIVE ajdjajj he is younger and more beautiful i told you.... he is unkillable #Featherstone as governor??? ajshaksjaiajwkqqjwkjwkakwkwwkwksa #look how happy max is ajdhaksjak YEAAAAHHH #jack that is a woman..... also ANNE AND JACK THE LAST PIRATES YEAAAHHHHH #THE PIRATE FLAG YEAAAAHHHHH #max and anne are smiling all the time now bc they get their pussy eaten on the reg.... it is true #talking tag #watching black sails

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astranauticus · 2 months

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just spent 4 dollars buying the exit 8 for an art idea that probably wont make sense to anyone except me <- guy who does not make good life decisions

#asto speaks #for context the exit 8 is a horror game where you're trying to exit a subway station but you basically have to play find the difference #in the hallway leading out of the station and if you fail youre not allowed to leave #like if you see anything weird/abnormal in the hallway you have to turn around and go back #idk i saw a twitter fanart of something i didnt recognise w a background that reminded me of it and had the thought to draw like #kdj as the man thats always walking down the hallway (there can be something wrong with the man too)#look it makes sense to me but idk how to explain it #update: got my ref images! now to see if people will get the fuckin reference #had to reset the stage so many times bc the guy kept walking away before i could take a good pic #also had to reset at one point bc i realised the ceiling lights were all slanted which. cool i progressed the game but also #like i had to move to the next level to reset the stage bc damn that wouldve made for a terrible pic KJSDHFKJSD

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yioh · 1 year

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sometimes it makes me really annoyed how fast the male characters in genshin become favoured by fans lmfao it’s so unfair 😭

#male character has a sad past: fans make intricate soulful art and fanfics abt them for years #female character has sad past: fans are like awwwwww:( and then forget abt them #like i can GUARANTEE u kaveh will have content created for him even months and months after his release #shenhe content after her story quest??? crickets. silence.#i would even argue that shenhe’s story was WAAAAAAAY sadder and heartbreaking but 🙄#idk it’s just so unfair that ppl aren’t as interested in women like ik this has been a pattern for YEARS and likely will never change but #it fills me w so much rage #women are always better they’re always more interesting GRRRRR #i feel like the reason i hate kaveh so much is because how unfairly he is loved by fans compared to other characters 😭#everytime i look at him i am simply reminded of colourism and another missed chance for a sickass design #i’ll literally never be over how much sumeru broke my heart lol it was actually so gutting 😭👍 i didn’t realise the colourism was gonna be #THAT bad and i didnt realise the fans were THAT colourist racist AND stupid #truly will never forget the ‘they’re in the forest where there’s no sun so they’re all white as fuck’ argument #can u believe that was real #anyways . anyways #ik everyone is sick of me talking abt this LOL it just rly annoys me because i liked this game sm before 🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲 and the fans r #everywhere so i get spammed w content of characters i Do Not Want To See 😭

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amorjpg · 1 year

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when i hear other people talk about their grandparents lives and how they went to college and stuff it really floors me like what do you mean you dont come from a poor family of farmers, field workers and emigrants?!?

#it feels so weird to meet my friends familys to bc its a difference i didnt even realise existed #like last week when i meet my besties family and they were asking me a bunch of stuff about my family and how i grew up and i felt so #out of place like im a farm girly through and through and bc i grew up in such a small town basically everyone was to #so it never really struck me as hard before i guess #idk weird rant but i’ve been feeling weird about the whole thing and how they took it and a little small

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toastsnaffler · 1 year

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actually ive been thinking abt this a lot lately like basically for years i assumed i was very (cis)het passing and only recently ive become aware that i am in fact. very obviously perhaps almost comically gay to other queer ppl. like lmaoooo ok then

#i think its bc a) when i came out at like 15 everyone was super surprised so i assumed ppl still found it unexpected even now #+ b) im not super aware of social cues generally (autism) so dont tend to pick up on stuff like that unless its explicitly said #+ also c) ive never felt like i physically appear very conspicuous bc i dont have any piercings/tattoos/never dyed my hair etc #i only cut my hair short relatively recently too..... so idk i just assumed i blended into the background for everyone #but now im interacting with ppl outside of my tighter social circle more often ive become more aware-#of how ppl might perceive me. or rather ive become aware of just how UNaware i am of how ppl might perceive me #and its really funny how many odd interactions ive had in the past suddenly make sense if u assume the other person clocked me as gay #like strangers that have gotten flustered around me that might be bc i was giving off strong dyke vibes etc #the other day i was in a bookstore and the guy behind the counter was very stiff + quiet until i replied to smth he said and suddenly he-#became way more animated + started talking to me more casually + that was the first time i realised i probably sound gay as fuck #like i think i kinda have a stereotypical gay mannerism/lilt to the way i talk... no wonder i used to get called a fag so often lmfao #or like i remember trying to find a lab partner in 3rd yr of my degree + i had to do it on call only bc of covid + there were a bunch-#of us with similar lab interests but it got sorted SO fast bc this one other student seemed to gravitate immediately towards me #and i remember thinking afterward that it was odd how quickly we resolved that. esp bc we didnt even meet it was just voice call #anyway yeah i found out she was a dyke much later but i think maybe she clocked me straight away bc of how i sound....?#and that was why she warmed to me so quickly... but god i remember debating for ages with my ex abt whether she was gay or not #like my gaydar is truly terrible i suck balls at picking up on cues so its funny that to some people im reeking signals #also i met up with an ollldddd old friend last week + 30 secs in she was like oh fuck you must use different pronouns now #gesturing to Me. like oh..... im visibly gnc......? or maybe behaviourally???? idk. also shes v femme which made me realise that-#i rly do come across kinda masc/butch nowadays. even tho ive never really thought abt it that deeply before or made an effort to #i mean yeah i do identify along those lines but ive never directly considered how to flag that to other people etc im just doing me baby #ANYWAY this has been a rly long ramble idr what point i was getting at but just find it fascinating to think abt how im read in public #bc im just genuinely so unaware of it. its weirdly rly validating to find out that im automatically recognised as dykey + a little masc #boosted my confidence a lot as well tbh ive felt rly comfortable in myself lately. partly also cuz im getting a little muscular ;^)#ANYWAYYYYYY enough of all that i need to go sleep if youre reading this ily goodnighttt xoxo #.diaries

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marsbotz · 21 days

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rewatching nature i dont want to make one billion posts abt it so heres alllllll my nature thoughts as we go lets go wheeeeeee

#orels 'thats it?' like hes realising there WAS no real point to this other than pure punishment. like he didnt even really learn anything #i realised this earlier but i love all the stuffed animals in clays study. making up for that missed hunting trip i see #the bit of clay going to hand the gun to orel and then pulling away again to gesture some more is really funny #oh my godddddd theres so much more even bewtween grounded and this. I NEED TO WATCH THR CHRONOLOGICAL CUTTTTTT #the number of times clay references either being a MAN or calls orel a girl in this. i seeeeee #IDK WHAT THE BIRD IS i know the bird is Something. it was in another ep but i forget which #i think it was the prequel ep. maybe. sorry man im not smart enough to figure that out #ok theh cup holder on the rifle is crazy funny #eating the dog is crazyyyy i feel like it cld have gotten the point across w eating the deer butttt #idk i guess it crosses that line to make clay seem even more repulsive here. so it works #but also insane seeing the fucking. DOG in the bg of the argument etc #WHY IS HE EATING THE PAWWWWW LMAOOOO. the worst part ever #eurrghhh the way clay antagonises orel over the food. dud u do not have tp one up ur child. seriously #OOUUUAHHHHHH the way orels glare breaks when clay insults him.... blarrrghhhh #stealing this from a comment but how clay says 'look on the blight side' and 'my life is sunny and blight'#cus like technically he HAS a 'good' life. married w kids and a good job. but he cant get any joy out of it and refuses to see the positive #u know. even if he doesnt love bloberta if he tried they cld still get along. and he has a reallyyy sweet kid who adored him #he cld have used his position to make a positive impact #but he doesnt. he runs and he hides and he pushes everyone away #orel tearing up at hearing clay say he hates himself is sooooooo fucking real man. it hurts #been there one billion million times. so painful #interesting how clay extends his hatred for bloberta to Every Woman Ever.#wonder if he had any relationships before her and how they turned out. badly id imagine #he says that marriage isnt for him but its kinda unclear if thats bc hes had a terrible history w love or hes just not interested #not sure if u cld say it extends to his own mother or not.#i guess u cld say that over the yrs his guilt twisted into hating her in some way. maybe for spoiling him so much #like in relation to his comments abt like. making him feel better and then choking him. and weights around his neck #the first is obvs abt the alcohol and the second bloberta #and also vice versa it kinda goes both ways #but i do wonder if he does still feel guilt abt what happened. hes sshown to be deeply affected by his fathers abuse still so hmmm

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letusrollon · 3 months

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Me since yesterday sometimes feeling like I'm on a hair trigger: everybody hates me, I hate everybody, everything and everyone is soooo annoying, why are they talking to me ughhh, I'm so alone, so fucking tired, nobody wants to be my friend, what am I even DOING??? Etc etc.

Me an hour ago: ...waaaait something feels a bit sus *checks app* ahhhh yeah lollllll it all makes sense now I don't REALLY feel like that *instant relief and huge reduction in overwhelming emotional BS* 🤷🏽‍♀️ like now that I'm reminded why....I'm suddenly way more fine

#legit gets me every time #im like WHY THE FUCK AM I FEELING SO MUCH #checks app #also so unrelated but theyre a weird scratching/rustling sound i can here while im in my room #and i cant pinpoint where its coming from 😭 its not fun #hahahahhaa yeahhh why didnt i think of that #🤦🏽‍♀️#period #these things suck #i once got my period the day after my cousins wedding #and let me tell you....the day before was NOT fun #i was so emotional about everything #someone trying to do my hair? me: 😭😩😒#that time of the month #menstruation #what other tags are there for this idk #many emotions #most of them unwanted and unasked for lol #my post #letusrollon post #i like that i no longer have to date my posts in the tags #btw i did apologise at the wedding a few hours later when i realised why i was feeling so overwhelmed lol #this is how it goes for me #shouldnt need to be said but ill say it anyway...not everyone is the same!!!!#also unrelated but there's a weird scratching/rustling sound i can hear when im in my room now #and i cant pinpoint where its coming from 😭 not fun

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thatgirlwithasquid · 3 months

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going through my old art is such an experience because i’ll find something that i then remember never finishing because i thought it was just so awful and it’s actually pretty good and I’m disappointed i never finished it, and then i’ll turn a page and see something i remember being so proud of and cringe my way into a new dimension because thats what i thought was good??? and then i have to give myself a talking to because i should apply the same support and understanding to my own art from when i was still learning as i would to any other artist still getting a grip of things.

#personal bs #though…. in shit talking my past art’s defence….#i went through a year long phase where i just drew noses so incredibly long and it made EVERY face i drew uncomfortably long and narrow #and idk where that came from #because i didnt have that problem before then. and i worked myself out of it. and in that whole time i didnt even realise the problem #id draw the longest fucking face that triggered the uncanny valley effect #and just not see it. id just go ‘yep thats how faces look’ and move on????#cannot fathom the cause of that phase. glad im more or less out of it #also looking at my old art makes me realise how absolutely lovely this fandom really is #cause some of the old fanart i’ve flipped through (that i KNOW i posted) is just… yikes i drew that?#(im doing it again! i need to be nicer to past squid)#but everyone was so supportive of my art back then #and now that i can see all the glaring issues that means so much more #love u guys :)

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featherymainffins · 6 months

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Starting to think that maybe I have forgotten the ways most people approach other people and their behaviours and skills

#i kinda. forgot. that some people are...i dont know how to put it...odd in their thinking?#uncreative?#i have no idea because i didnt mean to be negative #but its like. i dont know. i have something. and i work with whatever i have.#and i feel like a lot of people will have something and they dont like it so they just discard it?#like idk im reading about this one person rn and without further clarification they have problems with empathy/compassion #and have a lower emotional intensity of emotions #and theyre kinda lamenting how theyd like to be a doctor but feel like they shouldnt / wouldnt be good at their job #(im not sure about the exact reasoning but the takeaway is that its a negative dejected tone)#and my first thought was 'damn youd do fucking numbers as a surgeon. absolutely go for it.'#and i was honestly quite taken aback why they seemed so dejected or felt like that isnt happening and then i realised that #that some people before have probably told them that they cant be a doctor with the way they interact with the world???#which is like insaneass to me. like naaah girl is about to do fucking numbers with that quick decision-making and no hesitation #lower emotional intensity is definitely something incredibly useful in that line of work as well. just for gods sake dont put her #in the front.#there are people whose primary skills are making decisions and being real good with a knife and handling stress extremely well #and who do not have the skill of knowing how to interact with a people in a fashion that isnt rather rude #and thats perfectly fine #just dont make them interact with patients #the same way you should never force a back-end dev to do front-end

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