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#idk i just wanna die latley. and if i dont i just dont wanna bother. its too much effort. what am i supposed to do with my time?
pizzapizzadickz
·
2 years
Text
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#diary
#drugs tw
#personal
#high
#ill be fucking damned if you catch me not binging drugs this whole fucking week
#lmao. im not joking. i plan to be high 24 fucking seven
#im sorry if anyone wants to talk to me but like. im not up to it lmao
#haaah. i ate some edibles (theyrw just a had candy tho) to like. quiet my mind down a little. and im glad i did.
#i wouldve prefered to take a smaller dose (i only have 10 mg rn ;-;) but whatever. i just feel its a waste as im going to bed so lol
#haah. im so tired. too much has happened lately and im just done.
#disordered eating
#eating disorder
#i like. weighed myself again today and i gained a couple pounds :/ like. thats not the worst i guess but id rather not? yknow
#suicidal ideation
#self harm
#idk i just wanna die latley. and if i dont i just dont wanna bother. its too much effort. what am i supposed to do with my time?
#idk i just dont know what to do with myself bc im busy which in turn makes me give up on life lol.
#...ive also been planning on self harming for a while now. i think i may still.
#i do try to never self harm while intoxicated. but i was planning on doing that anyways today lol
#yknow... i wish i had something stronger. like. i just wanna dissapear into oblivion. i just want nothing more than to give up
#and i kinda think i am? slowly but surely. im just sorta letting go of things.
#i feel like im just. sorta losing myself a bit. like. it feels like im just watching everything happen to me.
#i forgot how it feels being around others. like. theres everyone else. and then theres me.
#i hate it. ive always hated this window i have to watch others. but they all just. look at me strangely.
#at least thats what it feels like. people gawking at a cadged animal...
#im exhausted. i sorta wanna chat with a friend. but im also super tired and high and a mess and whatnot.
#...oh well. theres not much to be done. i may as well just text bc im lonely.
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