#idk i was just thinking the other day abt 'whats the point of being spiritual when natural phenomena is explainable'

[udurghsigil]

not to sound anti-science or anything but i feel like a big reason for general human suffering right now is because we know too many of the secrets of this world

[cosmicdream222]

sorry to be morbid again but do you think we can manifest passing away early? im honestly past the point of wanting to exist and just want to get over this thing that im supposed to be a successful person but im not so idrc if i do or dont live

so many ppl on tarot related blogs ask about their fs but if we dont meet them does it matter and would they just move on with their life? like i think u have to have ur life put together but its genuinely so hard to do these days so i hope my fs wont be sad at all when i die cause i wouldnt be able to make tnem truly happy anyway cause im not happy myself with how things have been

ideally i wouldve done something in a sport or music but that ship sailed long ago and now im so stuck but id hate to be reliant on someone else and i shouldve moved out into my own place but housing is ridiculously expensive where im from and taxes dont help anyone. it takes years and years to pick up a talent so i have wasted those years and ik im just going to struggle to get past 50 if i were to have my own place bc minimum wage jobs suck arse and i dont want to be doinng something lame not that its lame for others to do it, its just not what i wanted to have done at all

you cant even get a degree without needing to fork out hundreds and thousands so yeah none of its easy and sure you can try subliminals but lets face it the systemn we are in is fucked up big time so rn i cant even bother with daydream about how it could have been or the what ifs i had done smth differently or if i had any talent but then theres still the, im too old and too foreign to do any sort of music as most successful groups nowadays are korean and even if i tried to do what they did it would probs end up killing me some way or other

its just either about having to be wealthy or having some type of talent both of which id fail at anyway as i shouldve done it years ago like a normal person who goes from being so so at something to being great at something.

i truly think i was born in wrong generation or i just shouldnt have been born at all then i wouldnt have to fret constantly abt these types of things. i think if the government genuinely sorted shit out for once and helped society ppl would be happier to work for less but im not happy at all with the current state of things. i feel guilty for existing and i hate it sm like god just let me end my life pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee there is nothing worthwhile in store, ik we could try shifting subliminals but have those genuinely worked? like u exit this reality and straight into the one you wanted originally? but then i might as well just pass away cause id have to know what i want in another reality

My dude, take a deep breath. You’ve ranted about all this same exact stuff a bunch of times now and I’m just gonna repeat the same thing I said to you last time:

All of that stuff you mentioned about your current reality is an illusion. Time is an illusion. It does not matter what you’ve done in the past. The economy does not matter. Your present circumstances do not matter.

I’ll add to that: Whatever some tarot reader or TikTok psychic says definitely does not matter. Idk what fs means but I’m guessing something like a twin flame and that is especially 1000% bullshit.

The spiritual community has created an incredible amount of false narratives to make excuses and blame outside forces for why things aren’t going their way. None of it is real. Seriously forget everything you learned about fate, karma, astrology, or anything else that’s saying something else is in control. Reality is an illusion. YOU are in control.

You don’t have to identify with any old bullshit anymore. Stop repeating the old story and think about what you do want. You can have literally ANYTHING! You say you don’t know what you want, ok, but you know what you don’t want, right?

I don’t want to work -> I want to live in a reality where I don’t have to work.

There, you just figured out something you want! It’s that simple.

I totally agree that this society is a horrific shitshow and I don’t want to be aware of it anymore either. But it’s just one version of reality available. It’s not the only reality and it’s not the original reality. You don’t have to be aware of it anymore if you don’t want to be.

You also don’t have to involve death at all. There’s a lot of misconception in the shifting world which has lead to concepts like “permashifting” and “respawning”, but those just all assume this current reality is the original one. It’s not.

Have you watched The Matrix? It’s really more like a documentary than science fiction lol. Just like in the movie, we are being tricked by a simulated virtual reality, controlled by a society that’s using us for our energy. Just think of reality as an escape room. We’re escaping the Matrix. Once you figure out how to leave, you don’t ever have to go back. There are infinite realities available to you, and none are more real or right or original than any others. Remember, death is not an ultimate, nor does it exist in all realities.

I am scripting a utopian reality with my best friend where there is no death, aging, or illness. Everyone is a master manifestor so they always get whatever they want. Nobody has to work and there isn’t even a need for money because we can manifest anything instantly. We can just relax and get massages all day. Everyone lives in peace and harmony and abundance. Animals are treated as equals to humans, we can all communicate with each other, and we can all fly and teleport. Because why the f not? 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

And if you really don’t want to exist (I’m guessing that other ask from a couple weeks ago is you too lol) you don’t have to exist in this reality, or any other. Removing your awareness from all physical reality is known as entering the void. You exist there as pure consciousness, and you can stay there as long as you like. It is you as your highest self. There’s nothing negative about it.

As for the whole subliminal thing, shifting subliminals are just one method. Shifting = manifesting = deciding what you want and experiencing it. It’s something we are always doing and is available to all of us. You don’t need any methods to shift besides intention. We just use methods to convince/calm the annoying human brain that is programmed with society’s limits.

[brechtian]

hey so ik you JUST got an ask about the waves but. can i ask about the waves too

okay so virginia woolf is like FAMOUS for her feminist novels and to me it almost seems like the waves is the odd one out. i just reread it (and annotated, and underlined, and highlighted, and tabbed, and pronounced it one of my favorite books because HOW COULD YOU NOT ITS SO WONDERFUL AND THOUGHT-PROVOKINGG AND POETIC) and although i love it the female characters seem to have more stereotypically feminine roles. i checked the introduction of my copy (intro by molly hite) and saw that it said "The Waves did not offer such exemplary female characters or themes: Indeed, it gave its female characters stereotypical feminine persuits, while its male characters were writers and also active in the public sphere."

there wasn't much elaboration in the intro however (i might be wrong about this though, i lowkey hate reading introductions it's my fatal flaw i'm sorry) except that later on feminists re-examined the waves and looked at subtext. (like how rhoda is a lesbian icon now bc of the mrs lambert passage)

but still, susan is housewife and mother, a stereotypically feminine role (i adore susan but analyzing characters sometimes means discarding some emotional connection for me) and jinny is the romantic sensualist. idk i love jinny and susan but yk i'm just thinking about their roles specifically regarding gender roles HELP IDK I'M PROBABLY MAKING A FOOL OUT OF MYSELF RN AND AM MISUNDERSTANDING SMTH REALLY MAJOR IM SORRY

i was just wondering your thoughts on this?? i mean i just stumbled across your tumblr a few days ago from this other (kind of boring but likes-the-waves-too) blog and you seem to have really interesting opinions abt the waves !! no pressure to respond obv

Hi!! I’m about to get on a plane to London so I will see if I’m able to get all my thoughts out in time. I’ll begin by saying that I’ve read a fairly considerable body of scholarship surrounding the waves, but none of that was particularly feminism-focused scholarship (it was primarily formalism, biographical crit, and analyses of spirituality, science, & metaphysics in the novel with some post colonialism thrown in), so most of this is based off of my personal analysis and discussions I’ve had with my Virginia Woolf professor. I actually love the women in The Waves, but I think a pivotal starting point is the understanding that all of the characters in The Waves function as concepts and ideas first and as actual people second. With that said, I think it is notable that there is not a female artistic/scholarly presence in the book beyond the vaguely mentioned, never-named woman writing in her room (often viewed as being Woolf herself). Originally The Waves included a narrator character that was female and felt very much like a stand-in for Woolf, and I wonder if that was meant to sort of be the female writer/intellectual presence in the novel but got cut to make the book cleaner. Regardless, each of the women are functioning both as archetypes and commentary on their archetypes.

Jinny is probably the least obviously a critique, but I think you definitely very clearly still get it in some moments where she links sexuality and sensuality with violence and objectification.

I also read some criticism that discusses how Jinny as a character can be seen as combatting the solipsism in the book by conveying the possibility and beauty of living physically in one’s own being & that the flesh cannot be ignored, finding a kind of power and importance in the female body (which feels very cixous second wave feminism). Overall, though, I think it’s a discredit to Woolf to not view Jimmy as an explicit examination of her archetype.

Rhoda & Susan are my girls and my favorite characters in the entire novel. If Susan is not just the most brilliant and breathtaking critique of the wife-mother expectation of women of the time what is. One of the most heartbreaking passages in the entire book to me is when Susan, who found freedom and joy in nature and movement and being one with the outside world (exacerbated by continuous connections between her and animals & nature), is confined to moving exclusively between the rooms of her house. She even immediately evokes the image of the dead mother as she goes. (Additionally, the end of this passage gets into post-colonialist critique, as Susan clearly symbolizes the upper-middle class white women who stayed at home as their husbands colonized India/Africa and directly benefitted from & supported colonization even if they were not actively violently participating)

Susan also holds so so so much anger, like violent fury, the exact opposite of what one would expect from the perfect housewife, and her motherhood is portrayed really as something more animalistic than anything. I also love that her husband is like completely irrelevant to both her and the book; even though becoming a housewife is a horrible restraint placed upon her I think Woolf is playing with expectations by the husband being a nameless shadow and just a vehicle for Susan to get her child (AND functioning as a commentary on the absence of men’s presence and aid in the domestic sphere). I think knowing about Woolf’s opinion of motherhood (continued horror & fascination by it) and her complex feelings surrounding her sister’s motherhood rly adds to understanding why Susan is Like That and so fierce in her nurturing. I also love the passage early on where Susan talks about crumpling the calendar pages in balls and discarding them, her vengeant war against time itself.

RHODA!!! I’m literally getting a Rhoda tattoo that’s my girl my girl!!!!!!! She is psychosis she is transcendence and isolation and mirrors and the waves itself my god. Rhoda is the moon tarot Rhoda is Inland Empire from disco elysium. There is a very fragile membrane between the characters of the waves and Something Larger (my whole capstone paper was on occult spirituality in the waves and my planned future masters thesis will be on ghosts and souls in Woolf’s work), maybe God or the Universe but symbolized in the novel as the ocean of which the characters function as individual waves, but Rhoda is the one for whom this membrane is the most frayed. I honestly don’t know if I have much to say about Rhoda from a feminist perspective other than I find her fascinating and that while I don’t usually encourage overly biographical readings of Woolf it becomes very very apparent if you know Woolf’s diaries and letters well that Rhoda is a mirror of Woolf’s own periods of poor mental health. I guess it relates in that to me Rhoda is of course a woman because she is the most explicitly connected to Woolf herself (in Hermione Lee’s biography, she presents the reading of each of the characters of the waves as members of the Bloomsbury group and Rhoda is picked out as the Woolf parallel. I don’t agree with this reading but it is significant to me how immediately Rhoda is identifiable with Woolf). Okay I’m about to board my flight but if you want to talk any more about the waves or have more specific questions about anything I said let me know!!!

RHODA YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS!!!

[horizon-verizon]

The thing is that I know we can get into murky, armchair diagnosis territory when we start making judgements about people based on their opinions on fiction. But... it does often hold weight when forms of bigotry and even internalized bigotry are involved. Because I've known several people both in real life and from other online communities who were die-hard Sansa fans and weirdly hated Dany, and now some of them are Alicent stans / Rhaenyra haters. Because the love for one always goes with hate for another.

And... they've always been people who, to say this nicely and vaguely, take a very passive approach to trauma and hardship sometimes to a frustrating degree. And the way they'll talk or write about these fictional women often mirrors the way they talk about themselves. And there's a good part of me that suspects they see themselves in these passive women and the patriarchal fantasy of one day being rewarded for passively enduring your hardships. It's basically internalized misogyny tied on with real life pain that they channel through fiction because, as I said, they're often either quite passive or quite... "my pain should be centered at all times but I refuse to extend that empathy I demand to others" in real life.

Which is why I honestly don't think there's any sense in... trying to talk sense into a lot of these people. They're channeling feelings from their real life that they've not addressed in their real life, and they're so obstinate about it that they're not the kind of people who would ever see it as a chance to examine how they feel about their own life. Because for them, characters like Sansa and Alicent validate their own feelings about their own lives, while Dany and Rhaenyra challenge them and therefore must be destroyed in order to protect that validation, and they're simply not the kinds of people willing to rethink, or even be aware, of what they're doing.

That's why they get so passionate while also refusing true criticism. It's why they'll bend over backwards into hypocrisy. It's why, after the raging incels and open bigots, they're the most unpleasant people to deal with online and honestly make these spaces hostile. Because in their eyes, they're defending themselves while refusing to either separate themselves or reevaluate themselves. In some ways, that actually makes them quite similar to the open bigots — it's just more insidious.

Basically, they can't be reasoned with through critical analysis. Because it's personal. And... I don't know what do do aside from try to avoid them. And they make that extremely difficult.

They're channeling feelings from their real life that they've not addressed in their real life, and they're so obstinate about it that they're not the kind of people who would ever see it as a chance to examine how they feel about their own life. Because for them, characters like Sansa and Alicent validate their own feelings about their own lives, while Dany and Rhaenyra challenge them and therefore must be destroyed in order to protect that validation, and they're simply not the kinds of people willing to rethink, or even be aware, of what they're doing. [...] Basically, they can't be reasoned with through critical analysis. Because it's personal.

This ask may come in response to this reblog I made.

This ask reminds me of somethings finitefall wrote way back HERE & HERE.

I'd add that there is much white feminism, esp when we only talking abt HotD...which is most of the time. And this really seals it n how nearly useless and futile it is to try, I know. Esp since they refuse to really admit or examine themselves to the point they get offended at the mere word "racism". Or "misogynoir".

You're right of course. I know that there's a futility to it unless they go through some spiritual moment or forced into a situation where they get some sort of epiphany, idk. The only thing I can think of is to say "and what if this were you", but it already has been or is and they think the best bet is total complicity and complacence! This also explains why they love all this passive accident writing style, bc they already feel that their own lives could never be in their control.

And sometimes I get too annoyed and need to "set the record straight" so to speak. I maintain that I don't try as often as I could to really lay some people in, just reblog them and tag it with "example of green stan nonsense" or "team green thoughts" whether I agree or disagree while here and there I actually make counterarguments to what I read. My annoyance will not allow me to ignore some posts, though, esp if soemthing they say really disturbs me.

[floorpancakes]

recently ive become a mawarin meki childhood friends truther and i cant wait to write a whole bunch of it

they were clearly already friends before tanuki came into the picture but i like the idea that it goes back further and mawarin was the first to reach out and that while these two were the popular ones of the friend group in highschool they were also weird kids once (they're still both pretty weird. nothing about this friendship group is normal)

like mawarin is pretty good at holding in the things that make her different from other people (to the extent she seems like a normal friendly girl that could get along with anybody) but I keep thinking abt the idea of meki being kind of a loner for ages and being shunned by his classmates and stuff. after a point he probably wouldnt care but mawarin seems like the type to reach out even if she knows it could get complicated cause of her bad luck curse/non curse situation. like shes so much of a sunshine character its kind of hard to dim that kind of light. anyway I feel like even if she got deterred by the people around her she WOULD go up and make friends with the weird kid, and WOULD go do that again a second time no matter what (even if the latter is the type of guy who hisses at people).

plus its a good intersection of the traits of like

- meki is noted specifically as having a rough time growing up from being sick, spiritual nonsense and also the whole Situation (which I am choosing to interpret as trans stuff but like in general)

- watanuki being the latecomer to the friend group, and also notably a lot more of a loner rather than the popular type so he was probably adopted into a preexisting friendship at some point

I just like the idea that mawarin has an affinity for bringing weird kids out of their respective shells and that all three of them kinda see themselves in each other as individuals and a group bcs it adds an added layer of sentimentality to what's already been established. and its very found family vibes. I rly like the framework of what's already there in canon but my brain wants to make it even more compelling so it comes uff with stuff like this out of nowhere lol

anyway imagine if mekis mind was already set after the rain incident but himawari comes up to him one day like 'so like theres this kid in our year with no friends and i think he needs somebody cause he keeps eating alone at lunch can we keep him' 😭 like he's some sort of cat in need (he is) (thats exactly what he is)

and doumeki immediately is like yeah go for it (hes already had a life altering experience and at this point without himawari even knowing he's basically ride or die for the guy at first sight)

i like the idea that this like a lot of other things in the story is cyclical idk how to end this thought anyway this probably doesn't make sense im sick and thinking about holic is a good distraction

[hematomes]

pspspsp i am asking u to info dump about greek myths rn bc i never got into em when i was younger bc i didnt know where to lear about them sooobbbsss

I FORGOR

okay so uhhh just a disclaimer while i am a greek mythology enthusiast i am also not a reliable source AVSJA and i mostly like. stories from different sources and different interpretation. like when i see a myth i like to just take it and be weird abt it

my favorite example: icarus. from the main source, he's the son of dedalus and they got locked in his father's labyrinth, right. and dedalus made wax wings for icarus, and warned him to not get too close to the sun, otherwise the wings would melt. but icarus did it anyway, and fell into the sea

on the other side you have 2 icons for the sun: apollo, the god of sun and arts, and helios, the literal allegory for the sun, who rode the solar chariot every day (hence the rising and setting sun).

what drew icarus to fly too high was hubris, kind of the arrogation of mankind & its consequences (im rly dumbing it down bc i myself am dumb btw. and french so. words. excuses). but i like to involve apollo and/or helios in that, and to extrapolate a lot, often with the common trope of love (not necessarily romantic or sexual) between a deity and a mortal. ik a lot of people who are into mythology (especially in the spiritual sense, but not just them) hate the "fandomification" of myths but i personally like being silly about it and actually often draw parallels between (extrapolated) myths and ocs and/or characters. icarus/apollo/helios make me think of xiaoventher for example!!! so im 0% normal about them:)

anyway yeah the main point is that my enjoyment of greek myths is kind of surface-level, i could brainrot abt certain stories like narcissus and echo but i might start vibrating out of existence. also find hades and persephone to have an amazing story but it was slightly ruined by the comic lore olympus 💀

however a few funny things imo: hephaistos (not 100% sure that's his name in eng.....) was so ugly his own mother, hera, threw him off a cliff as an infant. zeus has to put him in his calf to let him kind of heal??? athena was also born fully grown and with her whole armor from zeus' HEAD. insanity

BUT YEAH IDK I LOVE IT but i also have a very bad memory so. i did get a whole class studying the gods 2 years ago tho, that was so cool. but i never read percy jackson 😔

tbh id say reading ovid's metamorphoses that's really good!! it's kind of an anthology with a shit ton of myths, and one of the most popular sources so i rly love it <333 and there's also the iliad and the odyssey for troy's war (with namely achilles, ajax etc) and odysseus' journey from troy to his wife and kid. it's kind of hard to read imo, but sort of the base material so ZBDJZN

[nulfaga]

5, 6, 9 & 10 for Saraqael if you would like :o) i am so curious about her

5. Do they kill Paarthurnax? Why?

i haven't given it too much thought...honestly my brain kind of just slides off the big worldchanging decisions and comes to rest at "what's their favorite soup" lol...but i don't think she does. part of that is because the request comes from the blades, who are an old arm of the empire, and sara is disposed to ignore whatever they say <3 the other part is pretty simply that paarthurnax is an excellent speaker. sara doesn't really have too many high-minded ideals so her evaluation of people usually has nothing to do with what they ~represent~ and more with "do i like them. are they a person of culture and sophistication y/n." giving true neutral

6. How do they feel about Delphine and the Greybeards?

as before, sara distrusts delphine because she smells the empire on her. she finds the greybeards a little grating, too: she doesn't understand how anyone could voluntarily remove themselves from the world and sit around meditating all day. but scholars will be scholars she guesses

9. How do they feel about their position as Dragonborn? Do they embrace the role? Does it terrify them? Do they take advantage of it?

she's pretty wedded to being (and remaining) an average like. mortal. human. woman. after the fight with alduin, she has a very strange spiritual episode that leaves her kind of unmoored from nirn—and she goes back to high hrothgar, mute and adrift, and spends several weeks with the greybeards coming back to herself. (at which point she has to concede the value of removing oneself from the world and sitting around meditating all day).

afterward, though, she keeps a healthy distance from high hrothgar and tries to put All That Business out of mind as far as possible. it helps that people in whiterun knew her before all of the dragonborn talk started up and don't (for the most part) treat her any differently. (this also makes her a little reluctant to visit other holds.) if she leverages her role as dragonborn it's only to impress kids and to get better prices at market stalls. you're really going to short me on this artisan dagger? me, the dragonborn?

10. Who do they marry? How did they meet?

vilkas! i don't have the timeline 100% laid out but i want sara to spend a good few months in whiterun before the main quest ever kicks off. or maybe the helgen quest happens and then, mysteriously, nothing else goes wrong for a while. maybe it's like, six months between the bleak falls barrow quest and the dragon sighting in whiterun idk

point being, sara shows up to whiterun and falls in with the companions, where she meets vilkas (the only person who will converse with her in terrible scriptural cyrodilic! whatevs we've been over this). they become like bitchy best friends, but over the course of the main quest sara is risking her neck over and over again and vilkas is either there with her or pacing jorrvaskr while tearing his hair out and eventually he has to admit that he does in fact care abt her. when i first played skyrim in 2015 i was dead set that they were gonna finally kiss just before sara flies up to skuldafn and honestly...i stand by that. sara gets beamed back to the throat of the world out of sovngarde and sends word to whiterun that she's not dead. cue vilkas tramping up the 7000 steps in the snow by himself, fighting off that one frost troll etc etc. but as for marriage they don't get properly married until like 207, tho sara adopts sofie and lucia well before then (and later, once they are married, alesan)

[sunnyapollonjabrigidotter]

Ok.. i cant help but meditate on & wonder how my spiritual journey, somewhat so, more like a roaming through a few religions, influenced me & changed me a lot...

Im from an Orthodox (non-practicant) Xtian family, but the religion never really made sense to me, since i became influenced by the baptist & j.w. way of thinking (esp on the idea of not having icons..). Nowadays im kinda curious on what i missed, still im sure that some/many things wont make sense to me.. but some will do, ig, in a way... (a video ive seen of a priest' wife & Orthodox educator that's Greek-American, made me think that (esp the vids on Phronima)... lol, got the spark & it vanished, cs ive much more to learn on Hellenismos, obviously.. but sth somewhat some(more than id like to be)times sth makes me seriously, or more so, melancolicly when thinking of it... mb its linked to some old memories ... mb linked to the times i used to go to monasteries... or even churchies (yeah, in fact memories do tend to get lovelier w time, if ofc they were not of some traumatic events which you still do remember, or just bad ones..).

One of my lovely memories of going in a church was while in a village i went for the 1st time, & probably last, w some friends... but then we were like some Buddhist monks, more zen, than any dogma... and there were no other ppl in the church, except mb one who entered at some moment, & the service lady & ith some other in service... we entered at a evening kind of church -in english s call that mass? - can i call it slujbă? A thing we call vichernia, by the time of the day its held on, as i said in evening...

I guess the good memories & community ties do help a bit, altho idk moldavians being that religious, esp not younger ones, not of my cycle (tho knew just a few)... but some i know do hold on the traditions, like i know a friend that does light a candle for her father who died many years ago, & does give for his soul/in his memory (we call it pomană, forgot the english term, but will remember to check). But overal, she uses logical reasoning more... on more that is on her soul...

What i liked in the past abt those other two xtian traditions ive been aquinted w through some ppl was that they followed (irronicly for me now, cs yey, im free of that said bad thing/sin mindset - which is def as the hebrew word means 'missing the point' of the religion..) the 2nd commandment, statement rather, of the decalogue... having no idols, & boy, the icons... i mean, it still somewhat perplexes me, i mean now im idolatrious, i pray to Apollo, n id like a close connection w other gods, but im more like meditating on them & what they represent- but still "if u play that game & it has rules, at least play to the rules, no? But well, traditions (of the oldest church, mind it) ... well, worshiping Jesus (& God is 1, but 3 in 1, hmm, curious, why not some hundedreds in one? 😁) is in itself considered idolatry for the ones who dont do it (jews, muslims, unitarian xtians like j.w.)

& later on fell in love w another -but now ig more w some ppl, & their somewhat openness, i sure didnt lie when i say, they know how to be fishers of men (but some/many wont change their religion cs they dont need or want/used w the old, n now i know its fine as long as it serves them.. n that after many months after i fell in love agn w the Baptist church, tho had many limitations, which weirdly now, i was more than willing to accept then... ah glad that my social fears kept me away of going to there in real life.. & have a bit way longer journey... (ill surely 'run' from strict dogmas as fast as i can from now on/stay away from it..) Ah & then there was another one, 7th day Adventist, there i liked their care & how they actually go by all the Bible (except the jewish traditions that were abolished at the cross, n why they'd keep them, they're not jews anws)... after which i cameback to my jewish understanding of things (that i did understand ofc..)

.......... ......... ........ ....... ....... ........

Anws in the end i could say this are a few reasons for me to get interested in dogma psychology or how's that called...

Agh so much to tell, my text is a porridge!

Ah, on the fact why they do venerate icons, well, more like the saints in them, but anws, (& weird, didnt Paul or what other apostle (+ an angel) say like.. dont bow to him, WHILE HE WAS ALIVE??!! - but anws, i got this answer in a message, from another friend, from Romania. Basicly they said: it comes from a period in the OT times, noted there, ith it was while in the dessert... they were bowing at a REPRESENTATION OF GOD... sth w a depiction of cheruvims if i dont mistake, - ith the Ark of the Convenant? That which was stolen few times by the enemy & they're let by God cs the faith of Israelites was shrinking haaard xD... & that is the reason i remember, if i understood it well...

Yet another who said in an answer to a post, icons are not just pieces of art, no idolatry items, just dk what... & sent a pdf to prove it, from which i understood exactly nothing...

Yep, so interesting... & im somewhat still drawn to these like a fly to some sh*t...

Edit: ok, checked

Slujbă is mass (idk why to call it so if there was not a mass of ppl, but def a mass of religious songs, some weight it had...)

& pomană is alms

& ofc ones religion & believes are some deeply personal things, so i couldnt know of the believes of others esp if i didnt ask nor spend that much time w them to know of those... but on one of my mother's older friend i do remember... - how i could forget when she used to tell me on things related, & gave me a book with akatists, could i?? - i read from it just once or twice.. omy, at a time i thought seriously to read, but just cs i was going through some sort of treatments 4 mb treat my burnt disease (i was wearing a t-shirt that ith wasnt mine that was previously soaked in ogyasma, nice :D, & was ofc deeply influenced by the situation & by the person who gifted me that blue hardcovered book.. hm, wondering where i put it...

Anws, felt like studying more on hellenismos buy know its in plans to go somewhere today so...

Oh.. the dawn...

Hi Apollo 😊

Have a Good Sunday Everyone, & A Good Everyday ^^

[fuckingrealityshifting]

Update

Hi! I know I’ve been super inactive on this account and I apologize.

I’ve been really busy with life and my own mental health, and my newest interest I’m on tumblr 24/7 for on a different account, but I’ve also kind of been reconsidering my time here and I’m not really happy with what I’ve created.

I don’t really like this account.

I don’t like the fact I’m expected to like, I don’t know, Know Stuff, and I just don’t feel comfortable with people looking to me for information anymore.

Like, I don’t mind giving advice; I’ll answer dms and maybe get to answering asks but I just don’t really wanna make informational posts and resources anymore. I don’t wanna be that person.

I just don’t really wanna be Out There anymore. I’m no longer in a mood where I’m fine being the Mentally Ill 15 Year Old who runs a shifting account. I don’t want video essay/cringe videos or anything made of my account one day with the title going fuckingrealityshifting: the tumblr ‘shifting’ mystery or to be another entry on a list of tumblr jokes/iconic (in a bad way) posts/people.

All honestly? I wouldn’t say I don’t believe, but I’m doubting shifting or at least shifting the way it’s been presented recently.

I just lost interest a while ago and it’s like, ehhhh. I’m still spiritual, and I believe in weird crystal shit and all that other stuff, I just need to do more research to see if this actually has much of a historical basis.

I know it’s been said like, I don’t remember what civilization but some ancient civilization had something similar? Mayans? Mesopotamia? Idk. But when it was mentioned I just took that at its word before but now it’s like. If I’m gonna trust this isn’t a New Thing without much basis, I wanna find this. I wanna find the documents about this or the artifacts or whatever and I just haven’t made the effort to go and look. Or at least, older stuff related to this. It can be a new idea and true but it just doesn’t seem as trustworthy.

But the point is I just took supposed historical basis at its word without really critically thinking about it and I feel like that’s what’s been done with a lot of shifting justification.

I mean, in my heart of hearts I still believe, but I guess it’s more of a thing I’ve just drifted away from.

So I don’t know what to do. I’ve toyed with the idea of kind of mainly leaving this account and making a new one for casual spiritual shit (I talk abt my crystals, mediation, my journey, etc, being personal to me being the Main Point rather than a side thing to being an informational account) or like, reblogging the stuff I don’t like to an archive account and just converting this account to casual. I’m a little selfish and I kinda like the 2k followers even though I’m basically stopping what they followed me for.

I like this username. I do wanna keep the username whatever I’m doing. Lmao.

And this isn’t necessarily a permanent thing; my interest in shifting might rekindle and so I don’t wanna delete this account or anything.

I just don’t think I should have inserted myself into the shifting community the way I did and I honestly feel guilty about basically bringing it here. Like, I have no experience, I basically learned a lot about shifting and other spiritual stuff I was kind of learning as I went.

I know I’ve advocated knowing what you’re doing and talked about safety and stuff, and at least my conscious is clear knowing I cared and tried; but I feel like I didn’t do enough. I feel like it was presented as too much of an afterthought and should have been at the front of every single post especially when I was posting to Tumblr, the mentally ill youth’s haven for escapism.

Regarding shifting itself I think I was making it too much of a Thing as well. It’s just. Like, do it. Congrats, you’ve done. It’s that easy. And at least for me, I don’t know what the effect my posts had on other people, it felt like Something I Had To Feel Happening Before I Went To Sleep Or Else It Wouldnt Happen.

Also I think we shouldn’t look to find evidence for shifting. Like, scientific shit is just not going to exist. I think it’s like people pointing to miracles and going ‘God is great! He did this!’ n using it as evidence like. The nature of shifting and religions and all that is that It Cannot Be Proven and we should be okay with this.

We should be aware it is illogical to point to this having a strong basis in objective observable reality rather than try and make a case for it. I just feel it’s weird. It’s just weird to me. And I regret arguing for it. “You can’t disprove it, so therefore it’s true” is a logical fallacy.

Not saying that’s necessarily what was said, I recall it was more of a “You can’t disprove it and I can’t really prove it, so just let me believe” but I think the fallacy did seep into the ideology of some of the community.

I disagree this is a cult, but just because it’s not a cult doesn’t mean we’re not a fairly small group on the internet that has some questionable ideologies and behaviors that can get out of control. I just don’t wanna be responsible for making any mistakes that lead to questionable stuff or that even have led to anything. I just don’t want the power to be able to do that and I feel like I kinda created that for myself. My bad.

I fucking love y’all, though. We created a really nice, supportive community here that was dedicated to keeping each other safe the best we could. We made friendships and memes and fun times. I’m proud of that. And I’m proud of you.

TLDR:

I don’t wanna be a Prominent Shifting Page anymore, I just wanna be casual. Maybe I’ll convert this or make a new account.

Kinda questioning shifting, and even so I’ve overall lost interest or motivation in wanting to shift.

I think I went about this the wrong way and just don’t like how shifting is approached.

I don’t think it’s great to use questionable evidence to support something inherently unprovable. I think we should be okay not being able to prove or disprove it.

[hwaflms]

Fav Emoji: 🗡

Hi!!! I was wondering if I can get a ship for txt, nct, and ateez pls? I’ll really try not to make this long, but it’s hard sometimes lol.

Anyways, I’m an 18 year old 03’ liner and I’m 5’6. As for looks, I’m african american so i have dark skin, brown eyes and cinnamon colored hair. I cut my hair really short above my ears. I look rather young for my age (unfortunately). I’m rather slim and i have long legs and arms so people say I look even taller than what i am. I have large round eyes a big forehead, a button nose, and thick(ish) lips with round cheeks(ok now i understand why ppl think i’m vv young 🙄) But nowadays i’m more confident in myself and it’s no longer an insecurity of mine. I’d like to say i’m very stylish yet i can’t pick an aesthetic for the life of me.

To sum up my fav aesthetic/style, i would have to say something that’s dark but sophisticated. Like dark academia, but add a bit more of an alt/goth style to it. I like listening to visual kei and rock music, but to be honest, I love all music, even country some times.

I’m from the south of usa, so that has influenced how i am A LOT. I usually don’t have an accent, but whenever i feel a really strong emotion, I get a really strong southern accent and it’s kind of funny. I also tend to go outside without any shoes or socks. I like playing with my pets outside the most, I have two dogs (one is a rottweiler and one is a bull dog), my cat (just a black cat) and my bird. I love love love animals. I love everything to do with nature as well, i feel a deep connection with nature, and once, i even cried while watching bees pollinate flowers help lol.

My psychic said my aura was multiple shades of green, which i think it fits, seeing that green auras represented healers and earth lovers. My dad tends to call me a hippie lol. Astrology wise, I’m a leo sun, leo moon, and scorpio rising. My personality type is INFP-T. My friends say i’m quite funny, and they like to point out, “she’s really really smart, but like everyone, she has her dumb moments, but her dumb moments are the dumbest of the dumbest.”

I’m very sensitive, and not in the “i’m always crying way”. Yet, when i do cry, i tend to cry over the smallest of things, like the bee one. I cry over animals being cute, and I cry when i’m rlly rlly excited. Yet if i’m rlly sad, i can’t cry for some reason, and i’m just 😐. But, I try my hardest to comfort others and help others because there seriously is no other happiness in the world that makes me more happy than making others happy.

I like to talk a lot, as well (as you can see), and i’ll talk about every topic. I tend to talk most about child birth and genetics weirdly enough, it’s so interesting to me. But i also love to talk about astrology, space, and conspiracy theories. I’m highly spiritual. I’m also highly creative. I love drawing, singing, dancing, acting, all of that. Drawing has always been my strongest suit before i somehow got bored of it, but i still draw every once and a while.

I also like playing sports, as i’m naturally athletic. I did ballet, tap dance, gymnastics, track and field, cheerleading, soccer, and softball. (i think cheer is a sport and i’ll argue with anyone on that). I’ve lived in america, germany, and south korea, and i want to travel to so many more places as i grow older.

As for relationship stuff, I’ve never been in a relationship. I’m scared of boys to be honest. I was bullied in school a lot for being “ugly” and it was always by boys so i’ve never really had the best experience with them. I’m still trying to gain my confidence so that i could try dating.

My ideal type is someone smart (though i don’t hate himbos lmao), but i like someone smart and mature. I like someone who works hard, but not someone who’s too serious. With people, i like to have those love/hate relationships lol like we make fun of each other but we also have our soft moments. As for looks, i don’t rlly have an ideal type, yet there’s a couple things that i would go for. I like someone who’s taller than me, has bigger hands than me (mine are 18cm 😥), and has nice legs (i tend to like thicker legs, but i don’t discriminate). I do think smaller guys around my height are so cute too tho, like UGH I CANT CHOOSE.

My ideal date would probably be anything other than going to a restaurant. Maybe later on in the relationship that would be fine, but to be honest, i’m very awkward and shy at first, so it would just be weird. I find that doing something fun together really let’s you find out more about a person rather than just talking. So maybe an amusement park, or even doing an escape room together.

As for love languages, i’m not a very touchy person. Sometimes, i’m STARVING for a hug, but most of the time i don’t like to be touched. I think my love language is acts of service, and idk what’s it’s called, but just trying to find out abt someone. Someone would really know i like them when i ask for their whole zodiac chart, personality type, weekday of birth, everything.

Tbh, i’m very much like a tsundere. I don’t like showing affection very much, and i’d rather insult the ppl that i like than compliment them. Though, this is probably the reason ppl think i don’t like them when i first meet them. Sometimes i might get rlly mushy and cute and stuff, but most of the time, i’m just not used to showing affection, so i feel kinda uncomfy when i do.

Ok, that’s all, i really hope it wasn’t too much for you to read, i tend to get carried away ❤️ have a nice day ily

୨୧ 𓂃 : 🐇 :┊ i ship you with . . .

💌 — huening kai ♡ txt.

𖥻 the last thing a relationship with hyuka would be is boring. he gives off very "best friend who also happens to be your boyfriend" vibes, so there would be a lot off playing around and goofing off. he can be affectionate but also likes his space, like you, so you would be able to find a middle ground. he would like is your relationship was light and fun, teasing each other and making fun of each other. if you ever felt insecure, he would make you feel better in a less "let's talk about it" way and a more "ugh you're so silly, why would you think that when you're perfect??" way.

💌 — johnny ♡ nct.

𖥻 johnny is a chill and laid-back person, so conversation with him would come easy. there wouldn't be an awkward stage with him because johnny is a pretty smooth talker and he would make it easier for you to talk to him. johnny would NEVER make you feel insecure, if anything, he'd be the type of boyfriend who would be hyping you up all the time, even when you're doing absolutely nothing. johnny loves music too so, while he might make fun of you a lil for listening to country, he would love vibing to music with you. we all know johnny is mf hilarious, so he could definitely joke around with you and insult you playfully often ! plus johnny is a sexc tall boy and he has legs for days D:

💌 — hongjoong ♡ atz.

𖥻 hongjoong has the perfect balance of being mature and hardworking while also being playful. he knows how to take a joke and return the favour by teasing you, so i think in that aspect, you will have an easy-going relationship. he also will definitely be so supportive of you, and will be there for you whenever you need it. the kind of dates he would prefer would be more indoor ones, especially just in his studio !! he would show the amount of affection you're comfortable with, never pushing your boundaries or pressuring you.

♡ 𓄹 ࣪ ˖ i hope you like this !! and also, i just wanted to let you know that you are so so beautiful, okay, ilysm <3 boys suck, pls ignore them >:( thank you for sending this in, stay safe ^_^

[sword-brainrot]

Oh, um! May I request a matchup? I know these can be draining to do so feel free to skip me if you want!!

So, um hi! Im a 19 yo translation student! Everyone uses she/her when talking to me, but you can use whatever you like, I dont mind pronouns! Im really shy and kinda anxious when talking to people, but I'm completely see-through ;; cant tell a lie to save my life haha Im super curious abt practically anything and I love to learn new things! When I have to get work done, I make sure it looks shiny and perfect! (even tough I procastinate on it until there's almost no time left,,,,) I prefer indoors because loud sounds make me somewhat panicky??;;;; and in my free time I play games, learn useless stuff and sleep... y'know, the usual ^^;

As for what I'd like in a parter.... I want someone who cares about me ;; I know it may be a bit too much but I guess I can dream right? :') As for myself,,,, idk id be a completely mess ;; Im good at listening I think! but when it comes to affection Im at a loss and I just get embarrassed,,,, I blush at everything and when Im put in a spot I try to laugh it off ;;

Um, also... Im sure you already noticed but I have some self issues so you may want to take this into consideration???? maybe???? Im sorry I had to bring this up;;; i tought it could help you get a better picture of myself haha???? uuu;; (um also i apologize for this huge wall of text, i know its all over the place.... dont know how to organize it;;;;)

Oh, and I don't care about sword types nor I have a preference! I love all the slashy boys equally ♡

Thank you for taking the time to read this, I really appreciate it 💖💖

Oh I would never skip your request! If I ever get drained, I would take a small break. I wanna do your requests dear! Feel free to request as much as you want, I have a blast whenever I can write and make someone smile because of it. Don't worry about bothering me or anything, seeing requests always makes me smile and excited to write 💖🌺

I Match You With...

🌸 Ishikirimaru 🌸

♡  Ishikirimaru is a very calm and friendly guy, he would understand very well how scary social interaction can be for some people. He would never push you too far and make sure he knows your limits. He would offer you to have tea with him or help him clean just so you both can bond together and let you know what he does want to be around you. He doesn't mind if you don't talk much because you are shy! Ishikirimaru doesn't talk too much in general but doesn't mind starting the conversation and having a short discussion about things that may interest you or your thoughts on things.

♡  Don't worry about ever making him angry or annoyed, it is very hard to do that. He is very easy going and cares a lot about other people. The only way he would ever get actually angry at you is if you say something insensitive about how people's lives in war don't matter or something along those lines. He was a sword kept in a temple that often got prayed to for healing the warriors who came back from battle with deadly wounds. That is the only thing that would actually get under his skin. He cares a lot about the people around him and even the people he doesn't know, he prays for all of their well beings. Even yours. He cares about you a lot as well and will tell you often that you matter to everyone. He is aware that you would never say something to upset him on purpose. As long as the two of you talk it out and apologize to each other, he will forget it even happened. He wouldn't let one slip of the tongue to ruin the relationship.

♡  He tries hard to make sure he never upsets anyone and thinks over his words carefully, but even he makes mistakes and words don't come out how they planned. He will make the most effort to apologize and make sure his words didn't hurt you badly. If they did, he would spend hours on end talking it out and making sure you know that he would never mean anything that would hurt you. He cares about you a lot and your smile is his favorite.

♡  Ishikirimaru might be a little pushy when you talk badly about yourself. He loves everything about you and it hurts him when you think you are lesser than everyone. He will often try to stop you before you go too far with talking down upon yourself and give you plenty of compliments, even if they embarrass you. He wants you to know that you are deserving of love and that you are much better than you give yourself credit for. You have your own talents and people cherish you for being you. They want you in their life because you are you.

♡  "Aruji, I haven't been human long but I understand that being human is a complicated task. The mind can be a cruel one and the deadliest thing to our souls. My words may not mean much but please trust me when I say that you like you for you. You will see things you do not like about yourself because you are stuck with yourself constantly so you will pick up things that others will not. We are all hard on ourselves. Life is even worse on us. So take a deep breath and let yourself receive a little kindness. You deserve it. You give out so much to everyone so you need to know that it is okay to love things about yourself and be proud of who you are. You will make mistakes and not everyone will be your friend but that is okay, because you are human and you have your own life. Surround yourself with people that will love and appreciate you for who you are now. I love and appreciate you for who you are, aruji. So.. Don't be so hard on yourself, alright? It hurts my fragile heart when I see you beat yourself up for small mistakes. It's okay to stumble at times, just get up again... okay? I'll lend you my hand as well."

♡  As you can tell, Ishikirimaru is a very good listener. His whole life as a sword was to listen to those of the pained and give guidance. Even if he couldn't exactly do that in his sword form, he can do that now! He will listen to everything you have to say. Don't be shy to ramble to him. He will give you a happy smile as he listens. Tell him about the things that make you happy, what make you angry, what makes you laugh, and what makes you sad. Ishikirimaru will be right by your side, offering tea and a shoulder if you need it. You aren't alone and he will make sure you know that you don't have to face these thoughts alone.

♡  Just as how you are see through and can't lie, Ishikirimaru has a similar issue. He has a very hard time ever lying and chooses to never lie. The only time he will lie is if it is to protect others. He will often put himself in the painful position in missions so others don't have to face the hardship. He tries to not do it often because he knows that people care about him and he doesn't have to face things alone, but he would rather not see anyone sad if he can help it!

♡  He finds your embarrassed face the cutest thing in the world. Don't be scared to tell him to stop if the compliments become too much for you to handle! He will laugh it off and apologize for going too far with his comments. As stated above, he doesn't lie. So just know that every compliment he gives you is a very sincere comment that he means with his whole heart. Ishikirimaru doesn't need much affection, as long as you show that you simply care about him, he is happy. He would like to hold your hand from time to time but otherwise, he wouldn't force you to do anything you don't wish to do. Go at your own pace in the relationship, he won't rush you!

♡  Ishikirimaru will tell you anything you wish to learn! He might not have a library of knowledge of the past due to being stuck in a shrine for most of his life but he had also studied and learned about the history he came from. If you take an interest in his prayers and religion, he would gladly tell you all the tales he is aware of and teach you the cleansing sermon he often does to give positive spiritual energy. It is something that brings him peace of mind and makes him happy to talk about, so if you are willing to learn about what makes him who he is today and what makes him happy, he would be overjoyed to share all his knowledge to you.

♡  He understands very well the appeal of getting work done to the best of your ability and making it look the best you can. He wouldn't label himself a perfectionist but he does want to do the best he can. Often with cleaning. You will often see him stuck in a room all day because he wants to make sure it is spotless before he comes out and continues work else where. Though... by the time he is done... It is dinner time. Perhaps the two of you could work together and get work done to the point you are both happy with it.

♡  Ishikirimaru is also someone who happens to stay inside for the most part. The only time he goes outside would be to enjoy tea in the sun or if he has to work the field/horse keeping. Ishikirimaru is a very soft spoken and gentle man so you don't have to worry about him every raising his voice and scaring you. If there is ever a loud noise, whether it is other swords or a storm outside, he will gently hold your hand and try to calm you down. He will assure you that it's okay to not like loud noises but he will make sure that nothing hurts you. He will even try to lead you away to somewhere that may be a little more quiet. Giving you a distraction to get your mind off the noise. He wants nothing more than you to feel comfortable and safe.

♡  Depending on the game, he may want to play with you! He tends to like card games even though he is very easy to read and often loses. He tends to laugh about it after when he realizes that he was accidentally showing his hand every time he set down his cards to get a sip of tea. If it's video games, he would prefer to just watch you play and talk to you while you enjoy the game. He isn't the biggest fan but still enjoys to watch! Ishikirimaru is a pretty good teacher! So if you wish to study with him, he would be flattered that you wished to study with him out of everyone. He is very understanding that some material is hard to memorize out of no where. He would just softly correct you and tell you to work on it a little more. He rewards you with sweets every time you do really well on any test he gives you to test how much you remember.

♡  Ishikirimaru would be the most understanding and gentle partner. He wants nothing more than you being comfortable and happy. He would work hard on you slowly forgiving yourself when you make a mistake and love yourself a little more. He would never give up on you and be there if you ever needed.

[janiedean]

Wait they fucked the SPN ending for Walker? How? And now the show is more conservative than the original, which was headlined by known conservative dumbass Chuck Norris? Ugh

tldr (I can attest in the sense that I did watch the very last episode and with everything I've seen until now...... it holds up)

basically from what it seems like they pushed so that the finale ep was sam focused so it would make ppl idk stick with jared and they didn't give dean time to shine or a basic excuse of a storyline at all before the dumbest death he could have had and jensen's obviously pissed

like... can imagine why he would be

also like nothing happened in that ep is2g I watched it live while it was happening and it was all..... filler? like I swear even the fillerest filler episode for any show I've watched had more stuff happening in it than the spn series finale which... was... bad

and like I remember walker promos airing every ten seconds when the ep was airing sssoooo

anyway apparently the cw got heavy on walker promoting and shit and got both jensen & misha shafted which like... I mean misha was def in vancouver for the finale but he wasn't in the ep and jensen spends 15 years playing dean for that?

and like now idk if the background rumors re jared not opposing any of that and basically screwing them over because it was convenient for his new show are true or not but if he is like... ofc jensen is pissed off

anyway like as stated I'm catching up on the whole thing now and with that in mind the finale looked like 'okay we wanted to do a thing but you execs told us that we couldn't and we had to do this this and that so we're going to do it in a way that sucks ass on purpose but that delivers what you wanted' even moreso than it did in the beginning like... it's not bad in the way any other bad finale I watched is bc AT LEAST SOMETHING HAPPENED IN THE OTHERS LITERALLY NOTHING HAPPENED IN THIS ONE I'm still trying to wrap my head around it tbh

NOW with this in mind I'mma gonna say what I told @emilysnora when the first walker casting stuff came out but basically

the remake has jared being walker blah blah and honestly I'm not even pronouncing myself on the whole 'I got the idea when reading the interview with the ICE policeman who felt conflicted abt putting kids in cages' because it's not my place to but honestly as your resident white european person it's... really... I mean the nicest I can say it's that it's a very privileged way of looking at it and he probably didn't mean it to be a racist thing buuuuuttt thaaat kind of iiiiisssss so there's that and on top of that we have that it's him plus: - hispanic partner in the force - gay brother who's like AN ATTORNEY FOR THE STATE so like... right wing gay dude? okay - his wife was dead before the entire shebang began so hello fridging before the plot even starts - I gave a quick look at the main cast and like there's one biracial dude plus lindsey morgan and they're the only two nonwhite ppl in the entire main cast (idk about the recurring but I'm talking about the MAINS) add to that the... background premise it's really not as progressive as it looks like honestly

now not to be like your resident person who's like BUT THE REP but like if y'all gonna do a show in 2021 about ppl in texas doing that job having to deal with keeping children in cages or latin american immigrants having all white ppl in the main cast except two of them is like.... kind of... not exactly what I'd do in this time and age

now with the premise that as stated I hate chuck norris's politics and I don't thing great of him as a person or anything else so like pls don't take this as chuck norris endorsement or anything

my grandfather used to be obsessed with it same as like apparently 90% of italian grandfathers bc everyone I know had at least one who loved that show so like I've seen my fair share of it back in the day and to my best recollection - basically no one was presuming it was like.... there to make a political statement it was basically chuck norris roundhouse kicking bad dudes coming from whichever background and saving the day the end but - walker himself had native american ancestry bc he was raised after his parents' death by his uncle who was played by floyd westerman who was like a prominent NA actor so like technically you had the lead who had NA ancestry himself plus there was like actual NA actors having a relevant role which like... bros not to be that asshole but last time I saw that in pseudo mainstream tv in the last ten years it was on a netflix show that lasted one season so make of that what you will, also there were at least two other NA supportive chars from the reservation they all came from like one was the sheriff and the other was a spiritual leader or smth but anyway it had three NA chars played by NA actors - walker's police partner/bff was black - he had the ongoing willtheywon'tthey romance with the district attorney or smth but she didn't get fridged actually she lasted the entire show but anyway like... there was no 'ah he had a wife who DIED BEFORE THE SHOW EVEN STARTED' plotline - in the last two seasons they had rookie rangers showing up and like I went to check on wikipedia to be sure but the girl is half filipina which again not a category that gets exactly much rep on american tv - there was a recurring dude who helped them out in cases but was from another police branch who was def latino (don't remember the background sorry but he def was) also like walker was a vietnam vet which imvho would be an improvement over 'I was undercover for eleven months and my wife died :((((' when it comes to give your main like.... a srs background but anyway the point was that new walker in between the mains has like two nonwhite ppl and if I look at the recurrings it looks like there's four ppl who are latin* but three of them are undocumented immigrants so like... bro there's some typecasting going on I see, old walker had NA/black/hispanic/filipino people in the main/supporting cast and none of them was like... typecast in the sense that they were all cops except two of the NA ones so it's not like they went out of their way to typecast and like obv og walker wasn't making the whole thing a political statement but looking at it...... it's still way more progressive than whatever the new one wants to be

yes even if chuck norris was headlining it

and I mean... again when you manage to reboot a show starring chuck norris of all ppl and you manage to make it less progressive than the og while thinking you're being progressive while rebooting it I mean as we say here ask yourself a few questions and give yourself a few answers, also like the entire point of og walker was crack where he kicks ppl and says doing drugs is bad, I honestly don't get why the fuck they had to reboot it instead of like having the guts to say we wanna do an original thing, bc like in order to say hey I wanna do a show about a conflicted cop on the texas border you really can just make it an original thing and own it not go like I'M REBOOTING WALKER TEXAS RANGER ROUNDHOUSE KICK CENTRAL EXTRAORDINAIRE but that's my two cents make of that what you will

[spacemamaa]

hi ate jaleen! i totally agree with everything you said esp the part abt the yt readers. i find it interesting how a lot of ppl have their own understandings abt TFs and i've seen a lot of them talk abt "physical sensations" like you did. i'd wondered myself if the guy i've dealt with in the past was actually a TF. tbh i never experienced the physical sensations you've mentioned but i did very much feel a weird sense of familiarity with him and never in my entire life as an introvert had i ever been that comfortable just being myself with someone as i was immediately with him. other than that, my heart and stomach would hurt so bad whenever i feel anxious abt anything that has to do with him.

i only started learning about spirituality and the term TF after we had a falling-out. we first met at uni when we shared the same class. we didn't have an instant connection bc at the time i was into someone else and we were just group mates for our lab activities so we didn't rlly talk much. it was only after abt a year or so when we shared another few classes (for the 3rd time) that we became friends. i used to hate myself a lot and suffered from anxiety and depression to the point that i would physically hurt myself. he was the first person who taught me how to love myself and introduced me to LOA and all that. basically, he was like the catalyst to my healing journey which only began after we had our first falling-out. it's unbelievable how one night i was just bawling my eyes out and begging for everything to stop hurting—i was so desperate for a change bc i was beyond exhausted from a lot of things + i couldn't bear the physical symptoms i felt when we weren't okay. and then, as if a switch had been flipped, i became a totally, inexpicably, different person just from reading a few lines from a self-help book i discovered that taught abt spirituality. a couple of weeks later, him and i were back to being friends. i decided to stay for a while (even when it hurt) bc i knew he needed someone who understood him but i promised myself that i would leave the second i was certain he didn't need me anymore. my journey to self-love continued, however, it did slow down. when he hurt me again for the last time i could endure, i finally cut him off. i knew we both needed to work on ourselves alone, esp him. he could act like a total dick sometimes lmao but, in the end, he owned up to his crap and understood why i had to go. we genuinely wanted the best for each other.

i honestly stopped caring abt labels a long time ago. i don't think labeling our connection will change how much i already love him unconditionally and beyond i should be allowed to and i know he loves(/d) me too (maybe just not in the same way tho he did tell me he was into me). everything you said abt the signs to look out for resonated with me (except for the physical sensations you mentioned)—the telepathy thing, mirroring, repeating numbers, runner and chaser dynamic (for a short period of time) and all that were there. it wasn't until we had a falling-out for the second time that i was able to focus on myself without any distraction. i'm embracing and becoming more and more of my true self each day and i've faced my childhood traumas/demons/issues and have even learned to forgive myself and others. it's incredible how it's like i transformed into a completely different person from who i was before meeting him and yet somehow i wonder maybe it's all just a coincidence? maybe the reason why i'm getting synchronicities is bc i started attracting them when i became aware of them? i certainly doubt i'd be who i am today if i hadn't met him and i'm curious to know whether a "karmic" partner can trigger spiritual awakening too. despite the ridiculous amt of love i still have for him, i don't exactly like him—at least not the person i left—and i love myself more. i low-key don't like the idea of him being my TF but at the same time if i actually have one and were to meet one in this lifetime, i hope it's already him bc ain't no way i'm going through that much hell again lmao i only want the very best for me bc i know i deserve the world the same way everyone does.

anw thank you sm for answering my prev ask and if you've read all of that!!! 😂 you're one of the few ppl whose opinions i genuinely respect a lot and enjoy listening to. i rlly admire your hard work and i hope you keep doing what you love doing! 🤍🤍🤍

((i'm currently broke so i can only watch your ads on yt as much as i can in return (at least for now) i hope that's okay. 😭😭😭))

Aww!! Thank you so much for supporting me. it is definitely not necessary for you to purchase a reading to support me. Either way I appreciate you for tuning in and even asking these questions. 🤧💘

I forgot say that there are fake TFs, too! Idk if it’s a test run or something, but it definitely is a thing from my experience, so I have become wary of labeling my experiences as such! That’s why I tell people not to get sucked into these things or to obsess.

I wish you luck on your journey and your person. :3 No matter what, it’s a fulfilling experience that is absolutely necessary for growth. ✨

[davidjjohnston3]

I thought just now about writing you a really long letter, though I don't know if you'd care or understand. I heard about your divorce and was saddened.  FWIW, the author 'All Quiet on the Western Front' re-married his first wife in old age. I once said something excessively aesthetic and perhaps penetrating-without-sympathizing citing a song called 'Carry You' about a picture you had taken of Cecelia (I'll never say her name again if you don't want).   For many years over and over I imagined we'd talk again whether throwing back highballs in paisley vest tuxedos in 2012 or, in 2015, having a Christmas caroling party where I also met someone from the past; a Korean woman from Rutgers I started having dreams of on the day I basically first decided to start trying to write commercial (specifically military / special forces / spy / Brad Thor) fiction in an effort to get out of Milwaukee.  On the drive home from Half Price Books it started snowing and I thought of 'Lo How a Rose E'er Blooming,' a song written about the divisions between the Catholic and Protestant Churches in Germany and the devastating wars of the Protestant Reformation.  The girl's name I can't say due to the fact that I think from other dreams that she is another man's wife and she was in peril her whole life from various vectors. You don't have to care and I can't make you believe or love - love me, love God, or love anyone or anything committedly - but over the years I became pretty Orthodox.  In 2016 I also started having visions of Pope Saint John Paul II, whose encyclical 'Humana Vitae' I think predicted basically everything that's wrong with the world today.  JP2 also wrote 'The Theology of the Body' which is beyond me; opposed the Iraq War which consumed our generation, perhaps led to ISIS and Syria's civil war and allowed to North Korea to get nukes, as you know with the three words 'no to war'; and penned 'Called To Be Priests',' which called for 'a new reciprocity between the sexes.' Recently I was hospitalized for the fourth time for mental problems and my diagnosis has been shifting from bipolar schizoaffective to schizophrenic although I no longer have hypomanic or 'split personality' / 'Gollum and Smeagoll' episodes or experience what is called a command hallucination.  My parents want to put me on drugs that are damaging my liver; they continue to worship at the altars of a) Scientism b) the status quo and c) denial of reality, the future, as well as I think almost ineluctable psychopathic anti-Asian racism, which IMO, is part of the reason God might have allowed the CCP to engineer the coronavirus and unleash it on a smug unprepared and self-willedly, defiantly racist Trumpist America.  FWIW, over the past couple years I also lost faith in both the left- and right-wing magazines I had been reading for years, The New Yorker and National Review.   Since you are Twitter friends with Nicole Chung may I further recommend Steph Cha who has written about race-relations in California in 'Your House Will Pay.'  She's also pro-life from what I can tell and following her might lead you to a more valuable and meaningful life; though farbeit from me to judge what you think of yourself or how you're doing of late. Funnily, our old classmate Ken Smolin became a Catholic high school English teacher or nor working in my own former field, curriculum development.   Anyway, I urge you to re-think religion.  I listened a lot lately to an Irish song called 'Red Is The Rose' if you don't know that one already.  It is about a bride, sort of.   Best wishes with everything.  In the post-coronanavirus world there will be a lot of new people and new ways of living in America and I envy you being in LA.  I've thought of hitching a Greyhound out there and just living on the street in K-town or sth because here is a huge epidemic of 'knowing without caring' or 'the fetishization of information' and even my therapists apparently want to X-ray vivisect me.   I had a kind of spiritual experience at the hospital a while back where I X-rayed my foot and thought a) God clearly designed these bones and b), as my dad was ad-libbing about the past, a strange lasering electrical kind of feeling that appeared to imply he wishes he aborted me when I was born and cut my body to pieces. Once again, I'm sorry for the thing I said about your former wife.  You posted back the song 'Two Points for Honesty' which really distressed me and I'm further sorry for still going about with such an unguarded heart.  I also recently experienced perhaps the most catastrophic love-relationship and rejection of them all in my long history thereof.  She was a pharmacist from RU, abt 15 years older than me.  IDK if I misread everything.  I guess it's pathetic to still be looking for love at 36 when I can't seem to pass anyone's test or lack patience to stand at the Gate of their Law and starve to death (Kafka) or play the games of commerce and personality.  It's not all about me anyway - pray you rethink BLM, Kendi et al. and look a bit in to the history of Maoism and communism and how they infect and weaponizes other ideologies to turn races against each other etc.   I'm not a libertarian sink-or-swim penalty-life-for-the-weak capitalist as you probably know.   Blessings - still waiting for your next book.  I myself have been in contact with a Xtian literary agent though I feel iffy and my secret wish is to publish through Catherine Cho's imprint due to my feelings about her 'Inferno.'  80,000 words that I wish could get me out of 'Waukee or at least stop people from thinking they know me and I'm a futile empty vessel.

[theboykingofhell]

hi, sorry if this is a weird question, but ive always wondered... what are your religious beliefs? like do you consider yourself christian or spiritual but nondenominational, or like not religious/spiritual in any sense, or like a religion other than christianity, and like yr thoughts on organized religion, that sorta stuff. idk you just seem like you'd have interesting thoughts abt that stuff and im a curious nosy nelly haha :)

religion issssssssssssssssssss a weird subject to me cuz i always forget that i’ve had a relationship with religion for the longest time haha

well!! i was raised christian. and that’s kind of all i have to say about that. idk if i still consider myself christian, i don’t currently or ever rly have ever felt very spiritual but i definitely don’t consider myself an athiest by any means. i think, because i was born into religion, it’ll always be hard for me to try and think of the world as not having a distant god figure at the very least but…

atm a lot of my psychosis and trauma is kind of tied up with religion!!! i have this fixation with using religion as an outlet for the abuse i’ve gone through in my life and that appears in my writing and aesthetics a LOT. it’s actually kind of a mystery to me cuz i otherwise feel rly disconnected with religion and feel like i always have but also feel like there’s a lot of things in my religious past that i’ve forgotten/repressed

i dont particularly like organized religion because i can actively see how its used as a tool to oppress people. i don’t trust the bible, especially after learning how often it’s been altered throughout history, usually to form some sort of agenda.. i grew to stop trusting my pastors because i felt they used fear a lot to control our thoughts, like i very clearly remember being warned against a group of people once cuz they were evil and were instruments of the apocalypse and then, a year later, the same pastor was talking the world of them and i remember feeling SO betrayed and confused by that so i stopped listening to what they had to say. i don’t rly think… ‘my’ god is the same god that organized christianity preaches about. like, in concept yes, but i don’t think what’s written down is anything but man using god for their purposes idk

actually yeah now that i think about it tho i remember being terrified in church all the time. as a kid i had rly bad paranoia and being constantly told i was gonna die in some inevitable apocalypse and how america was gonna be destroyed in my lifetime didn’t help that but that was like a BIG thing in the church i went to omg

aaaaanyway ‘my’ god isn’t rly that? uh? sentient? if that makes sense? i think a lot of people think of god pretty much like man and that he thinks like we do and shit but to me god is just this force. god transcends which is the point so i’ve always felt weird about stuff like the bible that kind of pulls god down into this understandable level for us and it’s like, no, i don’t think we can possibly comprehend god at all. 

and to me rn i also just have this problem with accepting god in my life because my life’s been shit so far and god is my go-to scapegoat. always fun thinking about how the entire power behind the universe specifically wants me to suffer and die. also very aesthetic for me. again, it’s a HUGE theme in my writing 

imma close this by stating that i rly wanna have sex in a church one day. this is very vital and a very good summary of how i feel about religion rn fhjdgksdfgs

[xomaleriestar]

Collection of notes

17.02.2021 at 10:02

so what i wanted to say before initially

is that i read the letter

and was wondering if its still relevant

ok so my response letter its so in heat of the moment and gross but whatever. i wanna share before ur travels and not think about it

i think i have feelings for you too big time but im hella damaged and have big problems w trust so its hard to accept any thoughts of them. i literally cant stop thinking about u and it burns in my chest when i do

its recent, like 2 weeks. always thought im totally tripping out and were totally chill but like bro when i went to take that covid test the other day thats when i realised that it might be a fucking problem cuz i literally felt empty inside w out u and im soso scared sooooo scared of being ok with "feelings" and its really goddamn hard to talk about them as well for me but lets see what happens in the next month

slight overview of damage: the more i open up the more distant i get usually. i've always felt im not worthy of anything good in life and im rotten throughout and its my "destiny" to lean how to give myself away to """"god"""" and reach enlightenment through my own methods

i think all comes from my relationship with my mom which i need to fix before being capable of love cuz ive felt my whole life like i have no idea what it is as i think my mother does not know either. so its been my plan all along to try and learn to love my mother on this trip and forgive her (my whole life i ive been dealing with trauma from my dad so new level now spiritually)

it completely quiet in estonia so my mind is racing but whatever

our souls are connected forever and i feel a very strong connection to u and ur very good to me or just are good

18.02.2021 at 08:15

i love you so fucking much. everytime i look at you or think of you i feel blessed. writing these letters im not sure you even exist anymore. (having flashbacks of i love dick :D)

and i relate with everything you've said

i'm honestly very very very confused as well with these things so don't be scared to move at your own pace and trust yourself first..? there's nothing to prove and we both are free and i dont need you to give me anything you dont want to. everything

at the right place right time. i feel lucky?

on the topic of trust... you are the first person in my life i've connected with only based on my gut feeling. i overthink a lot, but with you i havent had the need to. in the past i would change a lot for a person, but with you i've only gone deeper within and it's gotten me to a point where i have you and for the first time i feel ready and i dont want to distance myself to avoid getting hurt and im totally okay with being completely honest with you. the feeling of trust came very naturally but it's still scary. usually i search for understanding and i always feel i never get it but with you its so different, i dont think about it. i've never actually realised before now that it's trust i've struggled with and it makes sense with every part of my life. trusting myself with my art, trusting others with myself. again, coming back to my upbringing-it defo makes sense cuz i've never trusted my mother

it's defo a strange point in our timeline but im glad we've talked about these things and opened up more

please have a safe flight, i cant wait u to be in nyc already and defo call me i miss u so

15.03.2021 at 01:00

i just remembered that i almost gave away my room away in july and cuz i was so depressed wanted to stay in estonia. found a new person but she literally cancelled like a week before i came back to uk and my init

2:42 am

literally i cant sleep and am spiralling so hard. yesterday i found this voice memo from my dads bday in the summer where my mom got super depressive/manic and is crying and im talking with her and i cant get the fucking sounds out of my head and honestly im shocked i even recorded it. my whole childhood was literally spent by her facing the window in our kitchen, not showing her face and crying and later locking herself up in the bathroom and i literally got the whole thing recorded and its so painful to listen

ugh i cant fall back asleep, spiralling so hard. yesterday i found this crazy voice memo from summer, dads bday where my mom got super manic and i had recorded it and found it yesterday. listened to the whole thing a couple times and now its stuck in my head like some random song. i'll play it to u one day, it's literally my 9-18yrs explained in that recording. my thoughts are rapidly shifting between that voice memo and you, i literally spent the whole day thinking about you.

i once dreamt that i needed to speak to my mother, grabbed her by her shoulder to turn around to see her face but she kept turning around and had no face, only hair. i never saw her face and this one time when i was stoned, i was trying to remember her face and couldnt. now realising that maybe it was because of these moments

19.03.2021 at 10:42

i love you so fucking much i love you i love you i love you so mich i love you i love you i love u love u i love you i love you i love you so much i love you so much im in love woth you i miss you im in love with you im in love with you l love you i love you im in love with you im in love with you i love you i love you im in love im in love love i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you so i love you so i love you so much i love you so much i love you i love you i think i really love you i love you so much its hard to breathe and i think i really love you and it feels great to really say it to you

20.03.2021 at 17:12

love u so fucking much coumba honestly i hope youll have an amazing day. im gonna go offline for a bit 

had a really strange dream, really mundane. took the metro home from some festival and was living in my grandmas apartment again and elevator was broken so had to take the stairs. but it was super slow and dramatic. on my way up (the apt is on 6th floor) i over heard my neighbour family fight and i left the door open to overhear what the topic was and they were yelling at their child? 

i crave physical touch

hey hope ur being productive!! goddamn, ive just been writing and reading the whole day and figuring out this creative block situation/ why am i so triggered by work. found the right stuff to read and feeling full of life again. hope u are too

hope you're not second guessing me for getting sad yesterday. im feeling fucking crazy and it might be cause im starting my period. i keep rereading your letter. 

26.03.2021 at 19:21

bless you

ur so nice to me

had a walk and it was really refreshing. feeling better but have so many anxieties that sometimes i just explode

i fucking love u too. sometimes its like ur my lifes worth of care i never 

sometimes i feel like my lifes worth of good is coming to my life through you

......ur so nice to me....honestly i love u too so much..... i think it might be bc of full moon but im just like a total wreck today :D thanks for hearing me out before. and yes i'm excited to see whats waiting for me in london!! 

in other news -.... called me rude and an egomaniac bc i told her i was depressed and feeling xtremely anxious blabla basically overview of what i told u today so will postpone thinking about countryside stuff. feeling like shit again lolzzzzzz bc of it.... we were supposed to go together with misha but misha cancelled right so im not really in a hurry which she knew and wished me a happy trip back to london. like whenever she doesnt get what she wants she goes off but i mean i do understand that im being an asshole as well so its like the perfect way to end this day

baah mh im just gonna rant here u dont even have to respond :D but i used to be really really selfless growing up and my parents always bring it up that i let my friends use me lol and ive been hella defensive abt it always bc i never knew how intense it was?. friends literally always came first and i kinda repressed my true self bc of embarrassment etc etc and two years ago it slowly started morphing into hurt and disappointment idk why i expected sth back (now i dont thats prolly why im super self centred and delusional as well i guess) so like after all this shit when im like yo having a hard time i get called a fucking egomaniac... i think im tired and honestly the fact that im getting along w evert so well makes me so happy but yeah since eliann is horrible at expressing emotions its harder 

31.03.2021 at 20:20

❣️ is for  🚬👄👗COOL🕶☕️🏙❣️

❣️ is for 🎀🎀🎀ORIGINAL 🎀🎀❣️

❣️ is for ⭐️Ur A Star ⭐️ ❣️

❣️ is for MUSIC 🎧🔊🎶❣️

❣️ is for 🦋🦋 BEAUTIFUL 🦋🦋❣️

❣️ is for 💫💐🧚‍♀️ANGELIC 🏵🖼🔮❣️

❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️

02.04.2021 at 14:24

miiisssssssss uuuuuuu sooooo muuuccchhhh aaaannndddd caaannnnoooottttt wwwaaaaaiiiitttt toooo seeeeee uuuuuuu aaallllrrreeeaaaddddyyyyy iiimmmm sssoooop eeexxxccciiittteeeeddddd ffffoooorrrrr iiiittttt

11.04.2021 at 12:54

i really reaally love you

13.04.2021 at 21:53

have said this before but im drunk AGAIN and will say this AGAIN that i think ur amazing 

14.02.2021 at 01:46

im in love w u