#idk if anyone else has thought abt it this much lmao

[wereh0gz]

No but like actually. I'm still thinking abt that new form sonic takes on at the very end of final horizon. Calling it cyber sonic but idk if that's the official name if it even has one

I'm still thinking abt it. Like when sonic is flying up to the end and going in for the kill he flies in a very sporadic pattern. Like he zips in a couple different directions at first before going straight for the end

And when we get a closeup he's lunging at it with his teeth bared like an animal. His teeth are noticeably sharper than in normal form too

It's so. Interesting. Like he's there for only a short period of time and yet there's quite a bit of personality there. I can't stop thinking abt it

[danothan]

i’ve been having a hard time realizing and grieving my naivety/lack of intuition, especially relating to autism and ocd. there’s smth so helpless in feeling like you can’t trust yourself. but i think i’m starting to reach a point of balance. ik i don’t have the best judgment, but maybe my intuition can be the kindness i judged as naivety

i just couldn’t accept the idea that kindness (as far as i understood it at least) could have led me into harm’s way, especially bc protecting myself feels so “cruel,” so maybe that’s not the narrative i have to accept. sometimes i feel like i’m slipping into old habits when i catch myself giving someone a second chance, or the benefit of the doubt, but it’s not the same now as it was before. kindness never led me into harm’s way, it was my lack of trust in myself. i don’t need to dial in my kindness, i just need to strengthen my trust. i need to practice informed kindness

[sleepyjim2]

yap sesh in the tags ! <3 nothing new im just frustrated abt my disordered sleep schedule as always . woke up at 5 pm and i will probably be failing my All Dayer and going to sleep shortly At 8 am and then sleeping for 1 billion years

[amourtoken]

so I literally cannot stop thinking abt this here u go

god kink Noah and softie Christian reader

I already know I'm going to hell so no need to remind me ik this is filth but that's what's fun abt it also basing the looks of the building off of this big ass church I used to go to and it's very weird and industrial so apologies if it's confusing

*NSFW below the cut, MDNI*

cw: sacrilege lmao, degradation, raw sex, oral (f receiving), dirty talk, Noah kinda thinks he's better than everyone else, maybe bc he thinks he's God idk, corruption, loss of virginity, experienced Noah, dirty talk, slightly public, belly bulge, dacryphilia

♡ Noah's only at church cause he has to be, otherwise why the fuck would he waste his morning here. He sits through the awful music and wonders how all of these people live such a lie, its pathetic to him. The only thing that makes it bearable is the pretty little thing in the little white sundress that never fails to show up every Sunday.

♡ he thinks you're so cute. Brainwashed, but cute. All he ever thinks abt is how he could desecrate you and how you'd look so much prettier worshipping him.

♡ Noah is damn near your exact opposite, covered in tattoos, always wearing dark colors. He never really talks to anyone either, keeping to himself. You'd say he was miserable if you didn't see his face soften a little every time you catch his eye. You try to make a point and interact with him every chance you get, maybe he's lonely? You can't let that happen. He's the worship leader's son, you'd think he'd be having a better time but who knows what's going through his head.

♡ Noah almost feels bad that he can't keep his thoughts in order when you walk up to him, pretty smile plastered on your face. You're chattering about today's service and he's picturing his hands on your hips, fingers digging into the soft skin while he bucks up into you and gets to hear those pretty little noises he's sure you'd make. All he'd have to do is pull your dress up too, it'd be easy. He's nodding along with your conversation and trying to seem interested but it's getting harder and harder to pretend he's listening.

♡ his eyes drifting to the neckline of your dress which is pretty modest but God he'd be able to pull it down so easy, tease your nipples while you grind yourself on his thigh and whine for him to fill you up. His eyes snap back to your face which is etched with concern.

"Noah, are you feeling alright? You seem out of it."

♡ he could lie, but what's the point. Isn't lying a sin?

"I'm fine. Just thinking about how pretty you'd look split on my cock."

♡ did he really say that??? You weren't sure how to even respond. Or if you should at all. You were flushed down to your chest and Noah admired the pretty pink tinge to your skin. He was almost nervous he'd fucked up but he knew what to say to have you following him like a little sheep. If you can sit through service every week and genuinely believe the shit his father is saying, you'll do anything if it's said in the right tone.

"Bet you've never even fucked before, have you? Saving yourself for marriage and all that bullshit. You know I could make you feel good, you should let me show you."

♡ you're still stunned, standing like a little deer in some headlights. You'd be lying if you said you didn't find Noah attractive but you felt like he wasn't in the cards for you. He's everything you're not, but maybe that's what's so enticing about him. How he talked about your beliefs stung a little but you couldn't help the way your thighs pressed together at the thought of him and his suggestion. He'd never hurt you, right? You can trust him, why would he wrong you?

♡ Noah nodded toward one of the exit doors, turning to leave and hoping you'd follow. You nearly tripped over your own feet trying to catch up with him. Your brain felt fuzzy and you knew whatever he was gonna put you through was horrifically sinful but you can be forgiven for being curious, right? Noah locked the door behind you, leaving you both in an empty stairwell. Hopefully no one tried to interrupt the two of you, because Noah was immediately to work. He walked you backwards until your back was pressed to the concrete wall and he tangled his fingers in your hair, pulling until you whimpered and keened against his hand for some relief.

"The only fucking God in this building is me. I expect you to treat me like such."

"You answer to me, and you follow my fucking directions, yeah? Gonna be a good girl and do what I say?"

♡ you felt your heart race terribly in your chest from how close he was, you felt like a prey animal being stalked by a predator. You really didn't know what to expect, you've never done this before. You shouldn't be doing this at all...what have you gotten yourself into...

♡ Noah surprisingly sinks to his knees in front of you, hands brushing at your knees and sliding up your thighs, hiking up your dress as he goes. His long fingers hooked under the waistband of your panties to tug them down and he threw one of your legs over his shoulder, without warning burying his face in your pussy making you yelp and tangle your fingers in his hair for some balance.

(Something like this yk)

♡ you pulled his hair tightly between your fingers, whining while he lapped at your pussy and groaned against you when you pulled a little too hard. You felt pricks of pins and needles all over your body, it felt like a swarm of butterflies populated your lower stomach. Oh god...one of his hands steadied itself on your thigh but the other slid up to glide between your folds, gathering the slick mess before prodding at your entrance making you squirm. He was right, you hadn't done this before. He wanted you to enjoy yourself though, that's why he was taking the time to stretch you out and make you cum, so you could actually take his cock afterwards.

♡ the fingers at your entrance slid in slowly, stretching you out and scissoring slightly to spread you further. Your legs were shaking and the swarm in your belly felt 100x worse. You were worried you couldn't hold yourself up much longer...Noah pressed his fingers as deep as he could fit them, brushing your cervix and curving up to press right into the most sensitive spot he could. He laughed against your pussy when he felt you clench around his fingers, teeth brushing your clit and making you whimper pathetically above him. He was the one on his knees and you were unraveling. Pitiful.

"You gonna cum for me? Can't let you take this cock till you cum, won't fit."

♡ when he nudges a 3rd finger in you completely come undone, tugging his face closer to you and nearly crying while you grind into him through your orgasm. He speeds his fingers up inside of you until you're squirming and begging him to stop. He withdraws and stands back up, reminding you he towers over you at his full height and he licks your slick off of his fingers right in front of you. You're still panting and your legs feel shaky, this isn't helping.

♡ Noah thinks you look adorable so shaken up, he can't help but admire how your chest is rising so quickly and your face is flushed. He did that to you. He's gonna do so much more too. He backs you into the wall again and runs his hands down your thighs, picking you up and pressing your back into the wall for extra support while your legs wrapped around his waist. You threw your arms around his neck to steady yourself but he wasn't gonna drop you, he could hold you up for hours if he needed to. Again though, he thinks you're adorable and lets you think he could drop you just to get your heart racing again.

♡ he holds you up with one arm while freeing his achingly hard cock with the other. You didn't even really get a chance to see it, but when he drug the tip through the slick mess between your legs you could describe the feeling as dread. He felt huge. Noah leaned his head against your neck, pressing soft kisses up to your ear and nipping at the soft skin.

"Gotta relax for me, promise I'll make you feel so good...trust me"

"Can't wait to feel how tight this pussy is, can't believe I'm your first. Bet I'll be the last too."

"Gonna fucking ruin you for everyone else, gonna be mine forever, yeah?"

"So much for staying pure, hm? All it took was one little comment and here you are letting me fuck you raw in a stairwell. Wonder how your god feels about that."

♡ he'd planned on taking it slow but after sinking in just a few inches he couldn't help himself. He trusted up into you, hilting himself in one move and sank his teeth deep into your shoulder to try and muffle the groan that escaped his chest. He slapped a hand over your mouth as he sank in and thank God he did because the sound you made was nothing short of a scream. Big tears welled in your eyes even after all the work he did to prep you, the stretch of taking his cock felt almost too much. Noah was loving every moment, watching you fall apart for him. He pressed a large hand to your stomach as he started fucking himself into you just to feel how deep he fit in your poor body.

"O-oh god-"

"The only fucking god you should be praying to is me."

♡ your whimpers and moans were nonstop but thankfully muffled against his palm, he didn't want anyone interrupting you. You gripped his cock just fucking right and he doubted he could really last long but he needed to have you unravel on his dick before he could finish. Noah reached up and tugged the front of your dress down, leaning to absolutely cover your chest in hickeys and lick at your overly sensitive nipples, your whines pitched up when his teeth got a little too rough but he couldn't help but admire his work. Your pretty soft skin marred with teeth marks and bruises. There's no way you could walk back out there and have no one notice, everyone would know exactly what you did, and who you did it with. Perfect.

"bet you've been thinking about this just as much as I have, huh bunny? Needed to get fucked, needed to get filled up by some fat cock, yeah? Tell me."

"Your little god was keeping you from this, does he really feel better than me? Wanna hear you say it."

"Gonna cum again for me, bunny? Need to feel you squeeze this cock, you can do it. I got you."

♡ your head fell back against the hard wall as he fucked into you, the coil in your stomach tightened unbearably. Every thrust sank as deep as he could possibly get and made your legs shake in his hold. Noah was chasing your pleasure as much as his own, he loved seeing your pretty little pathetic expressions. He slid a hand between your bodies and barely even had a chance to brush your clit as you came. His arm around you tightened to keep you still as he fucked you through it, tears spilling from your eyes and ruining your pretty makeup.

"S-shit- that's it- good girl, feels good yeah? So good for me-"

"That's it, tell me who's making you feel this good baby say my fuckin' name- n-need to hear it"

♡ his thrusts picked up in intensity, fingers sinking into your hips hard enough to leave Bruises and he sank in impossibly deep as he shuddered through his own end, you whined at the feeling of his hot cum filling you up and the extra dripping out of you making a mess on the floor under you. It took a second for Noah to set you back down on shaky legs, he helped you straighten your dress back out before pulling you in for an uncharacteristically gentle kiss. He felt like he was a little harsh on you but he was happy you actually would do something like this with him finally.

"So pretty...we should do this again sometime, yeah?"

[jinkiezzsstuff]

TYSM FOR THE LADY GAGA FIC!!!!

I have another song fic request...

Alastor (or anyone else really lmao) has to find reader in order to patch up like a deal or smth idk and he finds them in this jazz club thing performing on the stage to 'Noel's lament' from 'ride the cyclone'? Like she's draped across a piano singing abt when she was living she was nobody but in her dreams she was this absolute femme fatale and alastor just watches her from the back of the crowd??

So niche but I was thinking abt it all night

Lots of love 🤍

i actually loveeee this song eeeee i’m so happy to do this, and i am so glad you liked the last one it means so much to me teehee sorry this took awhile i’ve been busier lately but i hope you enjoyed this, maybe i’ll do a part two but if i do it may be real delayed until i clear my plate lol!

song referenced; noel’s lament

warnings: implied to be succubus reader but their not really to standards of succubus, i don’t believe there are feminine pronouns here but there are certain feminine things (dress wearing, feminine terms like suductresd etc), no psychical descriptions of reader as per usual, minor gore and death, reader is sneaky and slipper, alastor is weird about love as he should king, but he still feels emotion, possible cringe parts idk it’s a songfic and sometimes they can be 50/50. LMK if i missed any!

word count: 2.7K

You had a debt to pay, you had to have known this. Alastors mind reeled as he toyed with the pen in his hand, occasionally scribbling nonsense down as he thought. You were always quite the slippery sinner, never being tied down to one place in the pentagram, but this was just ridiculous. Since he’d been back, and warmed up to the hotel, he’d been searching for you, but no sign. No demon has said a word about you either had he still been in touch with Vox he may have had you found by now.

You weren’t dead, and that’s as much as he knew; he would’ve felt your souls absence if you’d died, the fickle fun of making such contracts. There was little he knew about you personally, he new superficial things but nothing that would give him a clue on where you’d hide, a silly mistake on his part. He knew Mimzy would be were the cash or party was, Husk wherever there was a gamble and Nifty, well, normally she never strayed far anyways. As for other souls they were about the same in simplicity, whether they were murderous or cannibals they always had something keen to them that would lead him to where they were.

Alastor failed that with you, unfortunately he’d found himself a little at loss with you, in more ways than one you boggled his mind. He was used to women and men alike hitting on him or being incredibly provocative, but there was some way you did it that made him speechless. Not like when Angel would hit on him, where Alastor felt that sensation of being caught off guard with disgust and shock. No, on the night you made the deal, you were stalking around the back of his sofa inside his radio tower, your hands caressing his shoulders as you passed, sweetly and mischievously offering a pleasurable favour in return for his help. That was something else, that was unique to you.

He still recalls the memory as if he was still right there on the couch, engulfed in your scent, entranced by your siren-like voice, it made him hot under the collar and tight around the waist. Thankfully Alastor was a gentleman and a businessman and there was no way you were getting out of a soul contract through some silly sexual favours. It was definitely trying to keep his composure as your lidded eyes watched his lips move, but he managed as he always does. The deal was fairly boring on your part- you wanted to be his friend.

Red flags appeared in Alastors mind about the validity of that but shook on it nonetheless, however that was all before he disappeared. He’d not held up his end of the bargain but then again neither did you; you didn’t show when he called on you to the hotel and try as he may, couldn’t seem to summon you the way he could with Husk.

Dropping the pen, Alastor stood from his seat and shadowed into the floor, stalking out the window like a snake. Alastor decided a little stroll couldn’t hurt, after all his mind couldn’t rest and perhaps he could happen upon you out in sin city. Alastor enjoyed his time walking, humming and basking in all the horrors that happened around, however he grew bored fairly quickly, and decided to take a detour into Mimzy’s favourite joint.

Alastor walked in like he owned the place and seated himself at the bar waiting for his dear friend. “Mimzy dear, how’ve you been?” Alastor spoke out excitedly and loudly, catching the attention of his fellow demon who had appeared from the back of the bar. Mimzy squeaked and ran up to Alastor on the other side of the bar, shooing off the other demons trying to pull at her, the trim of her dress flying in all directions as she hopped and scuttled. “Alastor! What brings ya here, big man? Coming for a dance?” His smile was indifferent as she spoke but he was quite pleased to see the doll, someone of routine. He watched the demon plop herself down on the seat beside him, his hand fiddling with the whisky in his cup that he magicked up. “Yes dear, afraid I have quite the slippery soul in my hands.”

With both elbows on the table Mimzy leaned in, an excited smile on her face. Alastors head fell to the side, sighing at her desire for gossip, Alastor pushed up his monocle and explained the situation with you briefly. He probably went into too many details about how you looked, or smelt, or perhaps how he thought of you in his absence because the whole time Mimzy was coy and giggles. “Wow Al, sounds like you’re carryin’ a torch for this gal’,” Mimzy teased, walking her fingers across the table in his direction. Alastor stiffened at that watching her do her silly tease wide eyed. What a juvenile thing to assume, that he had feelings for some sinner. “Mimzy, don't be ridiculous!” Alastor scoffed grin still present as he threw his limp hand her way, head tossed back. “There’s no such thing! Besides she’s nothing more than some sensuous succubus, it’s what those types of demons do. Seduce.”

Crossing her arms Mimzy let out a flat ‘mhm’ clearly not convinced by what was being said. “Well Al, tell ya what! You have my back next time some nasty loan sharks come, and i’ll tell ya where your pretty seductress is.” Alastors nails tapped against the table rhythmically as he silently pondered, it’s not like he’d say no to her, just as she wouldn’t say no to him. Fixing his posture from his more lesuride position, he agreed with a nod, gulping back the last of his liquor.

-

This club Alastor stepped into was very reminiscent of a wealthy man’s speakeasy, something that was nestled safely in the depth of the pentagram in an unassuming alley, as if it were hiding from something or someone. It was nostalgic for him, in a sickening way, Alastor didn’t enjoy remembering mortal life as it seemed so detached from him and who he is now. His red eyes danced across the room manically, his static following in suit with every glance he gave. Searching for his little succubus. Low amber lighting, that stuffy smell of smoke in the air, the velvet chairs, surrounding chatter and the piano playing smooth jazz; Alastors body subconsciously relaxed into the familiar environment, as much as he hated his mortal life there were such aspects like this he missed.

He dragged himself inside and sat in a red velvet chair, immediately he slumped onto the table, his elbows on the table, his chin rested on his hand while the other toyed with the fire from the candle, bringing it up, around, and high and low. His eyes dragged over to the stage as the piano rifted into a new tune, the lights in the room dimming and brightening toward the stage. Inwardly, Alastors frustrations imploded making his skin hot and his antlers grow in size; all the light to see you with now focused on the stage for a performance he couldn’t care less about.

Standing to his feet, Alastor gripped his microphone like it was his life line. With a strained smile he began towards the door as the music began, and a voice started introducing themselves and talking about their dreams, however he was too busy being frustrated, and scanning the room for you to fully pay attention to the voice. That was until- “A hooker with a heart of black charcoal.” A breathy voice finally sang out, grabbing the attention of Alastor as he neared the exit. Freezing the static sounds of radio station channels sounded out from him, his eyes widening at the sound of you.

Turning abruptly on his heel, he looked over the crowd of seated heads and at the stage where you were walking on. There was a light focused down on you as you slunk out from behind a curtain furthest from the piano. Straightening his back, Alastor slipped into the shadows and behind a pillar near the bar, just to wait for you of course, to come off. “I write poems to burn by fire light, drink champagne and guzzle gin, good girls call me ‘The Town Bicycle’- don't knock it til you’ve tried my life of sin,” Alastor watched enchanted as you dragged your heels across the stage as you sung, making your way over the piano with seductive grace, something Alastor wasn’t used to being so hooked by.

“Oh, Claude, my pimp knows neva mess with me,” Your voice, once serene and beautiful now, was demonic and harsh, capturing the audience's attention. “Last prick did that faded quick to black,” Like a switch your voice returned to its sweetness, your arms outstretched just slightly, fingers twinkling to emphasise the ‘fade’ you sang of. Alastor couldn’t look away from how you manuerved your body, how your voice carried through the room, and how the lights sparkled against your jewellery. You were a sight for sore eyes as you teasingly brought yourself closer to the piano, that regular soft bedroom look in your eyes. “I have no idea where to find him officers,”

Alastors brow quirked at that, as your hands came up to cup your face with false naïveté. “But if you do, please mention that I’d like to have returned that pretty knife, that I stuck, ten. times. in his, back!” You grit out, sweet façade falling once more making Alastors tail wag, unbeknownst to him. There was something about the way you pulled and pushed the narrative in the song that made him antsy, excited even, and the fact that this was something you stated you dreamed to be, meaning whilst alive you dreamt of killing, of being bad, oh that made Alastors blood rush.. You waltzed around as you continued to sing the lyrics to the chores, Alastors eyes watched closely as you slithered your body effortlessly up onto the piano.

It was like you were made for performing, singing, and he had the brief fantasy of you in his studio singing on air, sat on his lap as you sung through his microphone for the folks of hell to hear, but he pulled himself out of it quickly, scolding himself for indulging in silliness. Now your body was draped across the obsidian piano that shone the reflections of the light, you sat on your hips, legs folded behind you, hands over your heart. “He said ‘I think I am in love with you’- I’ve heard that lie a million times before,” Your posture fell slightly as did your tone, it seemed that there was some truth and sombre in the lyrics you sang, and in a way Alastor felt like he could relate to that; after all what even was love?

It made him feel weak to pity you, to attempt to empathise with your pain, but there was barely any time to think about his thoughts because just as he did, you’d recapture his attention entirely. “Oh, tonight I give into the fantasy,” Your head fell back, sorrow in your tone as your hand caressed your shoulder, pulling down the strap of your dress. “Take love when you can, when you’re a whore.” After a silent moment the chorus picked up, as did you, sliding yourself off the piano and dancing around with a smile. Unfortunately Alastors mind lagged behind, something was just too vulnerable in the way you sang about love, and considering it wasn’t something he often thought about, it peaked his curiosity just slightly.

It wasn’t until the end of the performance when you sung about your death that Alastors attention zeroed back in on you, his eyes catching yours as the song fell out, your head turned in his direction. He watched as your eyes widened and mouth fell slightly ajar before you sang out one last word: a ‘hey’ coincidentally directed toward Alastor. After that the lights on stage shut off instantly, and the crowd applause began.

Alastor watched you be dragged off stage by two larger demons through the darkness, your legs flailing as your arms were restrained, at the sight the purpose of him being here returned. Pushing himself off the pillar he was leant against, he brushed himself off and straightened the crimps in his pants, before picking up his microphone and making his way towards where you’d been dragged. It was a cruddy little backstage area, he’s under the assumption the performers here weren’t treated as kindly as the guests. Throwing the door open he was greeted by the sight of you, the two demons who dragged you off, and some other third one.

You sat on an ottoman in the middle of the room, your entire essence changed as you curled into yourself, your head hung low. Humming, Alastor adjusted his monocle. “Am I interrupting something?” Oh how Alastor loved to play dumb, he watched the third demon, seemingly imp, stand straight anger evident and radiating off of him. “Yeah you really fuckin are red, get outta here now.” The imp barked throwing his hands up in a shooing motion. Your eyes met Alastors, begging silently to stay. “I’m afraid i can’t do that you silly lug,” Alastor tutted joyfully stepping into the room throwing his microphone around like it was a toy. His shadows crawled out from beneath his feet, sneaking up the walls and across the ceilings making the three men anxious. “This little canary happens to me mine, soul and all.” His voice shifted to a more demonic one as the hues in the room shifted.

You sat speechless, watching the mysterious deer defend you after seven long years of being on hold with him. You were surprised he came at such a time, convenient for you. The two muscle demons were quick to puff their chests and step toward Alastor, but before they could properly swing, tentacles emerged from the shadows gripping the torso and hips of the men and pulling them in two. The screams were horrific, and the sounds of squelch and ripping nearly made you yourself sick, however it did the job for the littler imp as he immediately caved. “Oh okay okay, alright buddy, take the siren, no problem take em! Go!” The imp stressed while pulling you from your seat and toward Alastor hurriedly.

You stumbled against his pushing and found yourself falling accidentally into Alastors arms, tripping over your own heel. Alastor caught you without even looking down, arms wrapping instinctively around you as he glared at the imp with a smile. “Oh good, I would have hated to have caused a scene! Ha ha.” Alastor laughed humorously, although he was the only one finding any joy from this as the imp cowered away from the two of you. Pulling you closer to his body, Alastor fell into the ground with you, your body feeling freezing and damp for a moment before normalcy returned.

You didn’t realise you had your hands over your eyes until you felt Alastors hands grip your wrists, and pull your hands away. You blinked up at him before glancing around the room, it was indeed a room, one you’d never seen. “We're at the Hazbin Hotel dear, time for you to see to your deal.” Alastor said calmly, his tone even and his voice soft, his even his static was at a minimum. “Of course,” You say clearing your throat and backing up from his grasp. He didn’t fight against your distance, letting his arms fall and wrap behind his back as they normally would. “Why did you help me back there? I mean you could’ve just poofed us away?” You ask, rubbing the places on your arms where the demons dragged you.

“Why, thats what friends are for my dear! That was our deal, no? To scare off the threats and protect each other?” Alastor coyly hummed, bending slightly at the waist. Looking down slightly you nodded, hands coming up to sit on your waist. Sighing you shook your head, you should’ve known that this would come back to bite you in the ass eventually. “Alright slick, what is it that i’m doing for you?”

[thatdeadaquarius]

OKAY BUT I HAVE MORE IDEA FOR BLUNT READER CUZ I LOVE THAT AU SO MUCHANDMDJFKSLDKF

So you know how french people's insult are always outta pocket (from a person who's first language is french I can tell you that no other language compares in insult -apart for African languages)

Like,, some "bad" insult here would be : bitch, fuck off, whore,..

Which we can all agree is boring...

BUT THEN IN FRENCH!!!

We be getting creative with it

Eg.

"mange tes mort" wich translates to "eat your dead (relatives)"

"vas te fair enculer" means "go get yourself pegged in the ass"

(yes, we have a specific word for being fucked in the ass 💀)

AND THOSE WOULD BE THE COMMON ONES AS WELL

English could never compare ✨

BUT ANYWAYS

how would the characters react if reader was from france/ belgium/ canada(or any other french speaking country) and started cursing people out like they eould do in their home countrie !?!?

The eay their face would drop

We would make a couple of people cry

AND GOD(us haha) FORBID A KID OVER-HEAR US AND STARTS REPEATING US

Trying to un-teach them would be hell *cries*

Your thoughts?

Love yaaaa~

ABSOLUTE TOP TIER ORAH MY BELOVED!!

Nobody has any idea how much I HATE ENGLISH both for its rules/pronounciation BS/etc. But also, most importantly, THERES LIKE NO GOOD CUSS WORDS- OR LIKE CUSS PHRASES??

I HAD TO PUT THIS GIF BC THAT WAS LITERALLY ME WHEN I HAD THE REALIZATION TO LOOK UP OTHER LANGUAGE CUSS WORDS AND I WAS JUST BLOWN AWAY BY HOW GOOD THEY WERE- HOW CREATIVE- 😫😭🥲 ENGLISH WHY R U SO SHITY IN EVERY POSSIBLE LANGUAGE SITUATION-

like idk we got "eat shit and die / fuck off / go fuck yourself" ???? Like- thats pathetic 😟.

I love hearing someone just cuss smbody out their native language/non-english, it’s so badass and cool to see

Anyway u already know i love non-native english speakers from the bottom of my heart✨️

GOD I FUCKING LOVE BLUNT LANGUAGE AU ITS LIKE ONE OF TOP FAV AS U CAN PROBABLY GUESS I COULD WRITE A LITERAL FANFIC ENTIRELY OFF THIS SIMPLE PREMISE 💖💓💗💞❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

omg so i HAVE SPECIFICALLY HEARD ABT FRENCH BEING RLLY CREATIVEEE

and i researched french cusswords/phrases,,,

😭 BRO IM CRYING

“bête comme ses pieds!” IM ROLLING ON THE FLOOR-

(trans: you’re as stupid AS YOUR FEEEEEETT)

idk what’s funnier, you translating urself in real time and saying all these phrases to ppl,

OR just scaring the ever-loving shit out of every teyvat citizen within a mile radius bc oh wow- you look pissed, so yeah somebody’s about to lose all their self-esteem for the rest of their life bc ur insults are known to be extra cutting bc ur so blunt-

OH CREATOR ABOVE (…oh creator, present??)- you changed to your holy language FOR THIS???

everybody just giving the npc the most bombastic side-eye for pushing you to do this,

or even just you stubbing ur toe/ate food when it was too hot

or my favorite, getting onto ppl like Wanderer when they do smth silly lmao

STOP I HAD A FOUL THOUGHT OF GETTING ONTO Ei AND WANDERER (like ei for not keeping him/at least giving him to someone else to raise, then all the shit he did as Scaramouche lol)

AND THIS CUSSWORD COMES OUT UNDER UR BREATH OR SMTH- DOES THIS FIT BC THIS KILLS ME:

“Putain de salope…” (whore of whore, I LIED IT MEANS FUCKING BITCH LMAO😭)

JUST GETTING THE MOM AND THE SON IN ONE FULL BREATH CRYINGGGG

STOPPP wanderer using it against other ppl ever since u used it lol

oh no stop dont bring the kids into thisss 😭😭

Klee would deffo be the first one to pick up ur words and use them, omg she just uses them as catchphrases like when throwing her bombs 💀

“Mange tes mort!” JUST WITH A SMILE ON HER FACE AS SHE THROWS HER HUGE SKILL BOMB INTO A FISH POND

Venti would definitely make sure the winds “pass along phrases of the sacred All-God language!”

which just means anyone who UNDERSTANDS YOU JUST GETS GENTLY CREATIVELY CUSSED OUT BY THE WIND IM SOBBINGGG

☆

i hope u guys are having a great summer! its basically too hot to go outside where I am, not unless ur going straight into the water or smth

which hey, ill be doing that this weekend, floating down the river about an hour away from my house with friends! :]

which,,, if anyone sees this, U GOTTA HELP ME THINK OF A 1000 FOLLOWERS MILESTONE THING TO DO IDK WHAT TO DO BUT I WANNA CELEBRATE IT BC I NEVER THOUGHT THATD HAPPEN!! lmk what u think in the comments if u read this!

☆

Safe Travels 0rah,

💀♒

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi

[vigilskeep]

also have you ever talked about your quibbles with leliana's writing in dao? got curious, i love reading your thoughts

i have a little, yes. um mostly i just find it deeply confusing what they were going for. her bard backstory just doesn’t tally with her painfully naive dialogue, i don’t really find her compassion convincing so as a “good companion” she just doesn’t land for me, and her faith doesn’t really land either... she never has anything interesting to say about it and it doesn’t feel like the writers really care that much lmao. then there’s the whole baffling thing where they couldn’t decide if morrigan or leliana was the more traditionally feminine one so they commit to neither and both have weird moments jumping between complaining about each other’s gender conformity or lack thereof. there are huge missed opportunities to actually make her relevant to the plot: leliana’s mixed orlesian and ferelden identity could have fixed a massive hole in how dao lands emotionally by making the past conflict with orlais relevant, and yet it’s discussed exclusively in banter with loghain, who most people never recruit. and they cut late game chantry involvement in the landsmeet so that’s nothing

to me frankly it feels like they made up the bard backstory and then decided they had to offer a “nice girl” romance to counter morrigan and just sort of frantically smashed the two together and imo it rarely works. it’s obvious the bard character was something they really wanted to do and they had various thoughts on how to do it, because they put another one in the stolen throne. the lack of real sharpness of characterisation for leliana means that for me when you’re selecting your party she just can’t remotely stand up in dialogue quality to our other available rogue option. leliana needs a really good banter partner to sort of lift her up and i’m always disappointed by her plot comments i’m like... wow... you’re glad we could help some people... again... riveting... could’ve brought Anyone Else... like it’s mesmerising that she has a whole mechanic where you can ask her about locations while you’re walking out and about and she never once has anything really fresh and interesting to say. how are you a bard. as an aside, i really don’t care for the VA work and i’m mesmerised to have just discovered on a google search that the actress is actually french. i was really going to say with my whole chest that maybe she just had to devote all her effort to maintaining the accent but no! wild. it feels deeply unconvincing to have this be the skilled voice of the subtle bard when claudia black is doing her thing thirty feet away

I FEEL LIKE I SOUND RLLY MEAN... whenever i talk abt this... idk i can never decide whether there’s really something wrong with the writing quality or if i simply personally Don’t Get It and am self-consciously trying to justify that. perhaps both. i seek to convince no-one, this is just how i feel. and it’s not character hate i swear i do not mean to attack anyone’s girl and she’s probably the thing i most enjoy in what i’ve played of inquisition

[k-zuzu]

휴닝가이

hueningkai 𖹭 gn!reader

kai things.

content: random things with hyuka, virgin!gn!reader, mdni, attempted humor?, me obsessing a lot, lots of brainrot

zuzu's note: main masterlist.

OBSESSING

been obsessed w him lately... so much, in all ways. he's just so best boy, yk???

and now he's my ideal type and standard for a few months.

LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM???? IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT. HE'S JUST SOOOOOOO—

let's start with traits... he's cute, adorable, cute, adorable, cute super sweet, funny, yet sooo understanding, not the type to argue but to maturely talk about problems, plus he's chill, cool, and nonchalant at the same time???

physically... my man is 6 feet tall... gentle giant much? and i love his physique, he's so angelic!!! his dancing is just 😵 🤯 you get me??? and his voice PLEAAAAASEEEEEEE

his VOICE PLEASEEEE I SAW SOMEONE WRITE THAT HE'D BE SO LOUD IN BED AND I JUST GOINF INSANE ABT THAT SJAKAAKAO.

headcanons (falling in love)

okayyy so like, falling in love with you? it's obvious with him... like, he's trying to be subtle but it's not working, literally everybody knows.

idk if u are oblivious like me or you can also tell he likes u, but it doesn't matter bcs he's obvious as fuck

he doesn't try to flirt or do anything about it, i don't think he even knows he likes you LMAO

in his mind he just thinks you're someone a little more special to him than everyone else so he feels the urge to be nicee to you. he doesn't process why or anything...

until at some point of course, like everyone else when they fall in love with someone, hyuka starts to think of you sensually.

he has the urge to grab your ass when you bend over to grab something, everytime he glances at your lips while you're talking and they're plump, sometimes wet with saliva and he imagines it's his own saliva when he makes out with you — sometimes when you're eating something really good or when he tickles you... the slightest moan comes out of your mouth and he gets really turned on.

and he's never thought of anyone that way before so he's like “huh??? uhm... ohhhh... wait? oh... wow. huh? ” he's just sooo dumbfounded. he doesn't even know when it started or anything at all and he's like wondering if it's just physical attraction or if he actually likes you romantically.

but once he comes to terms with his feelings with a little help from his fellow members, everytime he looks at you, he notices all the small things you do that he enjoys, now, he's falling in love faster than ever.

every. little. thing. you do — he's obsessed.

you like drawing? draw with him! you like sports? play with him! cooking? baking? writing? studying? sleeping? literally anything I haven't mentioned that you do, he wants to share your interests with you!

he loves you so much he's just so obsessed with you, he starts to feel a little possessive??? like ur out in a club or a bar or anywhere and some rando is attracted to you and brave enough to flirt with you unlike him, he just gets sooo jealous and then he starts wondering if he has the right to be jealous bc you're not his then he gets really sad and overthinks everything.

he was never concerned about the whole “ruining your friendship” thing but now he is because his feelings are so strong he thinks that he can't be content with just silently admiring you from afar anymore.

he never really wondered whether you like him back because he was so content with just being in love with you and imagining a whole life with you...

masturbating in his bedroom or the bathroom whenever you unknowingly turn him on — moaning your name while biting onto his shirt or maybe a small plushie...

but he doesn't want to confess just yet... so he tries something he's never done — subtle courting.

the next morning, soob and junnie are so happy he's finally doing something about his feelings when they witness him sliding a small cute heart shaped paper note into your bag while you're not looking before you head outside the apartment.

gift giving wasn't really hyuka's main thing, he's more of a physical touch or words of affirmation guy, gift giving coming in third, but he doesn't want to be too forward with you... you two are already physically comfortable and talk a lot, and he knows gifts would send a different message. the message he always wanted to send.

he doesn't even know you like him back.

literallt everyone knows bcs u told them

u were just waiting for him to do the first move so when u see the note in your bag that said “you're so adorable every day ... stay hydrated!!!”

you're so excited until you realize not to get ahead of yourself because it could be from literally anyone else

sooo when u enter a room and soob, yeonjun, and beomgyu are there playing video games ur like “sooo” you lift the note, the three of them simultaneously glance over like “???”

then they all look back at their game mumbling “yeah, that's hyuka's” — “deffo” — “hueningkai's”

you nod to yourself, satisfied.

now you have the feeling to do something in return — so the next time you're at their place you slip a note under his door that said “YOU'RE so adorable everyday! idk how i keep my hands off you!"

it's a little ballsy but you didn't regret it one bit. you are definitely nervous at what his reaction would be reaction but he's soooo flustered.

this continues — he gives you a flower, you give him a flower. he gives you an innocent cute admiration letter, you give him a more ballsy admiration letter, and so on.

headcanons (dating transition)

with the whole gift giving thing you had going on... you never really talked abt anything on a deeper level other than games or memes... cuz tbh you guys rarely see each other anymore bcs you were so busy with your own lives, so these gift giving moments begin to feel kind of empty to you, like long distance or online dating.

one time, you enter the dark living room for a midnight snack and hyuka is in the kitchen with the lights on. it's only the two of you he's making some late night milkshake and ur like... 🧍 you completely forgot what you entered the room for.

“i like you. you know that?” he asks rhetorically, you just look away for a few moments. i mean, you knew, you both knew. you just never heard it out loud. he never said it. and it felt so... unreal.

he glances at you so casually then back at his shake.

he's so nonchalant you kinda feel like everything that has happened until that moment was just a dream... but as soon as you walk up to him really slowly and awkwardly it's like... “so...” you mumble and walk over next to him as he pours the shake from the blender into a tall glass.

“i do... of course i do.” you slightly chuckle.

hueningkai is abt to leave w_his shake and you're ">:0" offended, but before he walks into his room, he turns to look at you one last time.

“a lot. for a long time.” with that, he shuts the door behind him.

“i've liked you since the moment we met.” you say... his expression remains the same, albeit a little softer.

you didn't want to be so rude as to interrupt whatever tf he's doing with his shake at 12 at night but you knock on his door.

it takes a few moments for him to open up, but he does it eventually 'n he just looks down at u like “yesss?”

“...really?” he asks ever so gently and you just nod with a small smile.

“wanna come in?” he asks and you nod once more.

you're not even sure what you're gonna do in there but you go in. as soon as you close the door behind you, you turn around and BAM hyuka pins you against it.

cliche but tbh your heart is pumping so hard and so fast ur almost sweating and trembling (literally i would die if this happened to me)

“...can I kiss you please?”

you spare no second and CRASH your lips onto his.

sure, you fell for him first but he fell so much harder.

he's been imagining this moment so much for so long. it's finally happening and he's so hungry for you — your lips, your saliva, your scent — everything he's been fantasizing is real and he's so overwhelmed he MOANS.

internally, ur like NOOO BABYYYY DON'T APOLOGIZE but you just mumble “...that was so sexy...” and you go on your tiptoes, eyes darting from his lips to his eyes. “I'd love to hear you moan like that again” you whisper.

he moans into your mouth AND YOU'RE SO TAKEN ABACK YOU JUST PULL BACK AND LOOK AT HIM AND HE'S LIKE...

“...sorry.”

HE'S SO FLUSTEREDDDD HE'S A GIGGLING MESS.

he can't hide his smile and he kind of pushes your shoulder yently, and you giggle as well and kiss his nose. “you're so adorable... everyday.”

fanfiction (mdni)

your hands find their way to his soft head of hair and you start playing with it and twirling as he does all the work and sucks on your bottom lip before biting it gently, then he progresses and goes on your neck and you slightly pull his hair back; he lets out another soft moan against the crook of your neck and that aroused you so much — you begin to wonder how many times he'll moan and whimper just like that with your pretty lips around his cock.

you wipe the side of his lip that has a bit of your shared saliva and you suck your finger. you push him toward his bed and he's like “oh this is moving fast.” as he walks backward and his ass slams down on the mattress, hands instinctively reaching up to your waist as you climb over and straddle lap and continue to make out with him, moving slowly, teasingly.

he attempts to slip his tongue in your mouth, it's kind of awkward since it's his first time but you let him in and he explores you — it's warm and wet and so new and different from what he imagined.

not that you've ever given head before...

he gives you a cheeky innocent smile... just imagining everything he could do to you in this moment, this night. you're all his right now. everything he's imagined back then could all happen right now but he doesn't wanna rush it.

but you can literally feel his hard on rn bc you're on his lap and it just turns you on so much.

it's not at all as awkward as you imagined.

desperate to hear his moans again, you grind against him and he moans so softly against your neck once more, pulling back to look at you with an expression that spoke “you can't even french kiss and you're grinding on me?” like ur so confident and for what? 😭

you love his desperation so much you whimper back and grab his nape, giving him a peck on the lips, another peck, then you kiss his collarbone and flip him over so you're sitting on his stomach and you rub your hands all over his chest, stomach, and arms until you reach the hem of his shirt and pull it off of him. you admire his bare, toned body for a good minute until he reaches for the hem of your shirt as well to make it fair — but you willingly remove it before he can and he flips you over again.

he carries you by your thighs you and slams you onto your back on his mattress and you yelp which he captures with his lips. feeling you against him as he devours your lips, he remembers how in love he is with you, how much he begged for this moment and he relives it all over again and he just becomes a starved man and you were all he craved.

even though he's already here, he wants more. so much more of you. he moans softly at the thought and whimpers on your lips. “i want more... y/n.” he whines as he grabs you — any part of you that he can get, so, so desperate to get more.

the battle for dominance is real but this time you feel like being topped so you let him. he sucks on your collarbone, his hands admiring your stomach. “how far are we going tonight?” he asks softly, and ur like... you've never done it with anyone before, and you've always imagined your first time with him for some reason, but you're not ready tonight.

“i can give you a... b-blowjob.” you mumble. and he's like... a little flustered, but he shakes his head.

“hyu...” you mumble, insecure about being seen this way, but the way you say his name distracts him — his fingers begin play at your entrance and when you whimper for more he sticks one finger in and YOU ARE SO TIGHT he's genuinely shocked as he attempts to fit a second finger.

“i'll do you first.” he whispers and you're like... shy about it. you blush and look away with a small smile and he just finds it so cute. “can i do that?” he gently asks and you nod eagerly, a little nervous, but he doesn't do anything, waiting for something more verbal.

"yes." you say. immediately, he takes your shorts off along with your underwear with ease and he admires your bare self for a little too long for comfort that you begin to feel insecure and you close your legs, but he forcibly opens them and you squirm in his grasp.

“have you ever fingered yourself before?” he asks so casually as he tries to fit a second finger in, and you squirm a little telling him to stop and let you adjust first because it hurts.

“I've tried...” you whined. “but it was hard ans i was never comfortable enough...”

hyuka finds it so cute, but he thinks for a moment... “are you sure you want to do this?”

“anything... if it's with you... but i want our first... time together to be special.” you reply. hyuka moves up to give you another kiss on the lips as he begins to bend his long fingers inside of you... it feels so... weird. you don't know if you're enjoying it because it still kind of stings and you can't find the pleasure in it, but soon enough you adjust to the feeling and you start to feel the good part of this act you never understood — “i want... you” you mumble against your forearm that's covering your mouth and he pulls it away from you.

“don't cover...” he mumbles and he begins to move his fingers faster. “what do you want, y/n?” he whispers.

“more.” you whine. “y-you-” you let out a breathy moan as he hits your g-spot, again, and again, and again. and he leans down to suck on your stomach, then your inner-thighs, leaving marks everywhere, then he licks and prods at your hole, his pace unrelenting so you don't lose your progress — your moans go louder and louder and he goes faster and faster and you see white.

“...i like you, so... so much.”

your breathing is heavy...

you never thought you'd cum to hueningkai fingering you so intensely... it feels so... you can't even describe it.

he swallows your cum and he moans against you, finally tasting you... it just got him so hard in his pants he could cum right then but you're just so overwhelmed with everything you need a few moments to calm down before you can do your part. “you're... so good.” you say, out of breath. and hyuka smiles up at you, he climbs over you and holds the back of your head, giving you a long and passionate kiss.

[kind-of-a-shitty-wizard]

hiii i got a little insane over haskills characterization in the other elder scrolls games / material. teehee rambling abt these ^ quotes under the cut (long). also im not that serious abt any of this tbh im just glad haskill appeared in any other elder scrolls material at all LOL

OKAY. okay. about these quotes. idk why other TES media does this, but in these quotes from elder scrolls legends + the interview with haskill it seems like the writers are pushing to give the impression that haskill slightly resents or is even indifferent to his position / the isles / sheogorath ?? (unless haskill is being a little bit more flippant or hyperbolic than usual...?) which is characterization that is NOT what i got from playing oblivion at all skdskdjfn

like... when i played oblivion i thought it was very clear that haskill prefers to be in the isles, serving sheogorath, more than anywhere else. (<- i think this is actually the reason he's technically "mad" even tho he seems sane outwardly. if you enjoy being among madmen it probably means you're mad yourself ykwim). i think haskill does like the isles, his ass is just reserved abt it, like he is about everything... yknow just like jeeves, whose character he's been compared to lmao:)

i think unfortunately some writers take his annoyance with the player and his slight second thoughts about sheogorath's plan in oblivion, and mistakenly assume that he's just annoyed at his whole position. haskill does have his moments of exasperation, but the thing is it's usually only exasperation and it never verges into anger or bitterness or resentment like the top quotes seem to indicate. for example, haskill says this abt his idea of you mantling sheo / the clowns debacle:

^ This quote is a good reference point for haskill's view on sheo bc its pretty much the most critical-of-sheogorath quote from oblivion i can recall, and it tells us a lot of things. in this quote he expresses some exasperation about the clown idea (because he's a prissy bitch who doesn't want to get his outfit dirty /affectionate) and shows some apprehension about one of his lord's ideas (because it involves you, and haskill doesnt like you). but these 2 points he has beef with aren't really reflective of sheo himself but of other issues - ie he doesn't directly question sheogorath. and IN THE END Haskill defers to sheo's judgement because haskill trusts him and values sheo's ideas. in all of his oblivion dialogue, this is the most critical toward sheogorath he gets, and he never outright insults or shows resentment toward him or the isles like in the above quotes bc his loyalty to sheogorath eclipses it

on the contrary (and i dont know why the writers for non-oblivion elder scrolls content dont seem to see this??), theres so much evidence that haskill actually does, you know,,, enjoy being in the isles. here are just some snippets i can think of:

"the isles are hardly a place for anyone, really" <- i BEG to differ, Haskill likes it here, he likes listening to prisoners being tortured in xedillian, he likes wearing his ridiculous frilly high collar outfit emblematic of the fashions of the isles, he doesn't care about morality and it suits him just fine that it doesn't matter here!! (the end quote might be him being a little facetious about relmyna but to be honest i wouldn't be surprised if he thought decency and morality WERE provincial notions because he certainly has no problem killing people lmao). and again, to enjoy doing these things / being around madmen probably says something abt haskill being mad himself. lol

not to mention he likes a bit of joking around. which i imagine sheo does a whole lot. when YOU rib him a little he says this:

his derision in the first bit i think indicates, "i cant believe you would joke around at a time like this," and the upturning of the "very good" i think indicates, "it was a good joke / maybe they could mantle sheo after all". he's not all dour - he appreciates a good joke, especially from (someone who's about to become) his Lord!!

and going a little deeper into haskill actually liking the isles... haskill clearly holds what sheogorath and the isles represent (chaos, free will, individuality) very highly. a good example of this is when you ask him about dyus, and he gives this snarky reply:

^ he says this with such VITRIOL its so funny :p and the amount of disdain in this line indicates (to me) a real conviction in his belief in the free will, chaos etc that sheogorath represents.

this is why i dont think this quote makes sense. "i cant remember why i put up with [sheogorath]" <- haskill wouldnt say this bc he understands fully why he puts up w sheogorath, and his own convictions in sheo that lead him to keep doing it, and even if this quote is him being hyperbolic, i dont think he'd joke about his faith in sheogorath like that because, yk, one of his characteristics is that he's extremely loyal, and moreover he never said anything to this effect in oblivion sdkjskdjs

him having a strong belief in what sheogorath / the isles represent is also evidenced by the language haskill uses when talking about sheo. whenever haskill mentions him, there is an element of poetry and respect to his words that shows that haskill thinks about him highly at the very least:

^ haskill constantly stresses sheogorath's intrinsic unknowableness and power and unique wisdom in a way that feels very respectful. saying "to attempt to fathom [sheogorath's will] is a foolish endeavor" shows that he knows there are unexplainable aspects to sheogorath that he takes note of, respects, and knowingly keeps his distance from... he gets sheogorath and reveres him (at least more than most others or the HoK). in these quotes especially, it feels a bit like hes trying to illustrate how impressive sheogorath is to the HoK, hyping up his boyfriend if you would. who said that. and combined with this respect is (i believe!!!!) a deep care. he is invested in the isles and sheo and wants to help them out of more than just duty. he gets fearful and even loses his composure at some points in the story when sheo/the isles are threatened which i think indicates that he deeply cares for them both!!:

i think this is a care that, combined with the respect he has for sheo, makes it really unlikely for him to get more than exasperated with his behavior and verge into resentfulness. i dont think anyone truly understands sheogorath, not even haskill, but haskill respects sheo as a god, and also gets him in a more familiar/personal way i think - like the way that a cat owner loves their cat but gets exasperated with it when it gets its head stuck in a tissue box. he doesn't angry or anything because he understands that it's the cat's nature to get stuck in the tissue box / sheo's nature to be wild and unpredictable and messy. (the difference being that sheogorath is an all-powerful god cat..... do u see my vision???)

anyway this got crazy long JHDSHFSD... to finish i wanted to look at this extra bit of characterization i found that was wild to me:

^ like. i truly dont get where they got THIS characterization LMAO sheo constantly calls haskill faithful and smart and knowledgeable in oblivion, he practically begs you to summon haskill for help, hyping up his boyfriend so to speak, they care for each other your honor so of COURSE sheo trusts haskill to do his job. what are the legends writers doing in there!!

ANYWAY dear god this got long im going to bed <3

[storgicdealer]

OKOKOK so im re classpecting the sticks bc i understand much more abt classpects now than i did when i first classpected them. i hope you dont mind if i drop em here bc youre very smart and you know both avam and hs so

tsc - lord of space (this stays, its way too narratively relevant for it not to)

green - prince of breath (very passionate, perfectionist, tries to be carefree even when he cares way too much about what other people think)

yellow - mage of light (moreso on the knowledge front than the luck front, similar to rose but more active in his role, likes to figure things out but using what shes previously learned)

blue - witch of life (FEFERI WOOO obv shes very witchy, leaf feels like theyd be more rebellious, life player bc its very energetic and tends to take on a healer role in the group)

red - knight of heart (tends to jump straight to protecting her friends, very impulsive and passionate/soulful, acts confident but is sometimes more hesitant than others realise)

victim - thief of hope (man i was so on point with this one)

chosen - mage of doom (has a lot of firsthand experience with doom and suffering, also suffers from their aspect, and very good at causing doom *cough* chosen has never won a fight on the right side *cough*)

dark - heir of time (very destructive by default, causes a lot of death, RED 🔥🔥🔥, but also logical, at times a bit too laid back and chill)

striker - maid of mind (maid im not sure on i just wasnt sure what else to do, mind bc shes very straightforward, thoughtful, plans ahead, very serious and logical)

purple - prince of blood (accidentally or on purpose fucks up almost all his relationships at some point, at the same time is also the reason most of his friends met in the first place, Prince = royalty theming, also matches with green)

mango - rogue of life (acts very skeptical and un-lifey but takes life from others to give to the people they care about)

gold - sylph of hope (loves to cheer people up, very hopeful and energetic demeanor, fairly childish, wants to make everyone happy all the time!!!)

hangman - bard of rage (calms people down, fairly chill compared to the other players, prefers to support and wishes people were more peaceful and mature)

ballista - knight of breath (session lacks breath for reasons i dont feel like describing rn, acts chill but actually feels like he cant live up to the title of Hero and isnt that carefree, protects the few people he attaches himself too <- that one scene in his original short where he draws upon the memories of his friends to open the door)

hazard - seer of void (ngl this is mostly just process of elimination but hazard feels pretty void oriented tbf. hes so chill hes not minding anyones business)

paleo - witch of heart (same as above </3 very passionate headstrong etc etc)

sorry for the word vomit in your inbox i want to talk to you more and idk how to initiate conversation other than random infodumps

OH I ABSOLUTELY DONT MIND PLEASE DO SEND ME STUFF LIKE THIS

oh this is so good. this is so good

my knowledge on classpects is probably slightly closer to surface level than yours lmao but from what i get GOD yes !!!!!! yellow being a mage of light / red being a knight of heart is literally them hello. absolutely. its in their code

PRINCE OF BLOOD PURPLE !!!!!!!! WOOOOOOO !!!!! thief of hope victim OH this is so good. im eating this up (id say my victim leans towards being a rogue a little bit. my whole rambling on how much i associate the motif of them being a "divine being sharing the gift of the animators with the outernet" typa thing) mage of doom chosen DONT even joke with me lad. im shaking him shaking him so hard

MAID OF MIND AGENT !!! MAID OF MIND AGENT !!! (even if not a maid shes still very much a mind player methinks)

oh knight of breath ballista oohhh ... this is so smart oh my god (and very obviously. already fits with one of his forms in "wanted" of literally looking like a knight lol)

wait i just realized green & purple knight and princ. cinder im gonna. im. oh this is SO good

[intertexts]

since I can't talk about my favorite bits that made me go AUGH bc of things you dont know about yet. give me ur favorite bit. what was ur favorite bit in that fic. gimme the authors notes behind the scenes ramble

AUAUAUAUA.... u r so nice 2 meee godddd what the hell. exploding u💥💥💥!!!!!!!!!!! ANYWAY. OK. OK. AUTHORS NOTES.

things i included that i am VERY IFFY ON but nevertheless went for:

>i think there's like 70/30 odds that they (dakota) try to do the putting ashe's headphones with thank you scientist or smth blaring on him to try & bring him back thing. can't tell you if it'll work or not but it has to come up. nevertheless i think if u were stuck in yr head for a year with the fucking trickster u would appreciate some quiet!!!!!! & its just. idk man. that's what i'd spiral over. what if one day u wake up n u don't even like all the stuff u love anymore. etc.

>I'M ALSO TAKING. A REALLY FUCKING LONG SHOT by explicitly referring to wiwi as alive? honestly? like it's a 50/50, i think that all the stuff w/ the heart etc should continue to have thematic resonance, but also i don't know how that will work with the wisps when they..... return? (<- using this word in the loosest possible way i just don't know how else to say it. when theyre onscreen again??) i'm sure the wisp thing gets some resolution i have no doubt. and i don't know if "whisperer william" and "alive body traits" are mutually exclusive. idk. idk. we'll see!!

>i'm assuming tide will make another appearance b4 the season ends. idgaf if he shows in deadwood or not i fucking HOPE NOT but i just thought man. he Would come to bring them all back n take care of them. i think he and mark should get to have a really long slightly more. real? conversation on how much parenting fucking sucks and is stressful and terrifying and they feel bad at it.

MY FAVORITE BIT. goddd. iiii. ok. i have a lot of Thoughts on wingfics & idk. i guess i always think they're a bit too easy. u have wings that u Never Ever Let Anyone Touch Except Family And Lovers and u Let Someone Preen Them and what-- there isn't even any terrifying indecipherable swirl of emotions about it?? it isn't even scary?? (& also the whole Why Is It Good When People Touch Ur Wings. "because it is" okay??? and why then?? i also am guilty of this but at least theres like. two sentences about it.) & when there's hybrid shit & its like ok suddenly u woke up with Searing Pain in ur back and things writhing around in there breaking through yr skin and bone to get out and-- thats IT??? there isn't even gonna be any lasting trauma about it? you're not even gonna feel weird about being permanently Different now? it isn't even inconvenient and painful?? so ig that's like-- the core of this one, lmao. obviously i have. Thoughts and Feelings on the whole prime nonconsensually and irrevocably changing ur body defenders thing. like. of course. thesis statement of my blog. & i have thoughts about. being a vessel & not getting any say in it, ig. idk. i hate when people take my stuff without asking!! the idea of someone taking my ME without asking is like, viscerally terrifying 2 me. not unpacking that moving on etc.... my favorite bit is ig ashe having conflicting and messy emotions on liking the way it feels. freaking out and trying 2 stonewall it out & eventually just. letting himself have the good thing. oversharing 9pm time but idk... ashe is a little Like Me in that he was a fucking shut in & never had friends until he was a teenager and doesn't really. know much about it? didn't have much experience in it? so he's really satisfying to write not in a projection-y way but an ah! i KNOW what this is like i can write this correctly!! very scary!!!! very 24/7 butterflies in ur stomach!! OH. I LIED. ACTUALLY. my favorite bit is ashe unconsciously using words & such abt capacitors and voltage and electricity etc. bc of growing up with an electrician dad :] very very small and minor but i have a lot of fucking emotions abt it actually!!! anyway. yeag <333

other behind the scenes thing: in my head wiwi is freaking the FUCK out the entire time he is going shit SHIT SHIT i'm so fucking bad at this shittttttttttttt is this what it's like for dakota to deal with me. is this what i'm like. shit. what do vynce and dakota do. hes like. cartoon running putting down the tracks just in front of the train this entire time <33 this is important to me.

[send-up-my-heart-to-you]

FINALLY, ive finished 25% of exile, the second book in the kotlc series. here are some thoughts i had :)

tags: @aylin-hijabi, @that-multi-fandom-hijabi, @tastetherainbow290, @nerdy-girl3791 (im tagging everyone who asked to be tagged in my notes for book one, but lmk if you wanna be tagged too / dont wanna be tagged anymore)

first off, why are second books in a series always the ones that take the most time / are harder to start? ig it could be that we've already established the worldbuilding n main characters, but its still that dragging stage between *where you already know mostly everything in the universe* and *where the climax builds up in anticipation of the "final battle" or the beginning of the third act, usually*. nothing to do w the book itself, just an observation

second off, alicorns are so much more important than being just "another species to save", im sure of it. theres wayyy too much of the council getting involved n talk abt how alicorns are sooo important. to anyone whos read percy jackson it kinda reminds me of the ophiortaurus (bessie) from sea of monsters, who seemed to be a recurring animal side character who turned out to have a lot of significance to the very universe they were in. im expecting smth similar, why else would everyone go to such lengths to ensure alicorns dont go extinct? or maybe im overthinking it lmao but what gives it away is the heckses literally tryna kidnap silveny-

speaking of the heckses, who the fuck tries to steal an alicorn. stinas parents are the whiniest bitches ive ever seen, and im a fifteen year old girl. like cmon ive seen some drama queens over the years, but those two- also, fucking stina. i mentioned before that i hope to see some character development w her, so shes not just the boring one-dimensional mean girl thats prevalent in literally every piece of media thats come out since mean girls w regina george. clearly not yet, tho, but im waiting on it (if it does not happen i will be majorly disappointed)

also, delving into theories now. its kinda far-fetched, but, was brant w the black swan ? i mean, it would add up pretty decently. it would explain why his guilt for jolies death runs so deeply (since grady rlly rlly seems to believe that the black swan killed her) because he would be with the literal organization that killed her. it would also explain reeeeaaaaalllllyyyy well why he recognized sophie. the fact that he knew her was wayy too emphasized to mean nothing. idk JUST A THEORY, its not based off of anything other than it would fit nicely w everything else.

but also if grady is so adamant that it was the black swan, and (hypothetically) brant is w the black swan, then would it be improbable to assume that he killed her? which would explain the guilt even MORE. but then again, he does seem to love her, so that last part is added very tentatively. (maybe he killed her by accident... but then would the note to grady three days before her death just be a coincidence? im sure that has some deeper meaning.)

maybe it wasnt the black swan who sent those notes to grady...

to end on a funnier note: alicorn poop. sophie faceplanted into alicorn poop. it happens to all main characters, it always has to be someone walking in at the worst moment. i thought id be the vackers w keefe who show up n embarass her, but who better than the council to get humiliated in front of ? i dont hate sophie i just laugh at her pain

i think thats all for the 25% mark, im gonna keep reading today. im gonna go to my grandmas house so maybe i can get a couple hundred pages in !!!

[tojikai]

obviously I’ve been thinking about Catharsis ever since you published and feel free to disregard any of these if you don’t feel like answering them, I just let my brain run wild with questions 😭

1) I know you said Satoru has resorted to paying for uhh release which I’m interpreting as him hiring sex workers for his own needs because he can’t emotionally/physically involve himself with another woman and he can detach himself through that ig. (Pls correct me if i’m wrong though LOL) Has Y/N started seeing anyone in the past three years? Given her last thoughts before she sees Satoru I assume no since she’s letting fate take the wheel in their story but idk Y/N is a baddie so 😭

2) What are Y/N’s thoughts about Satoru after everything that happened? Is she angry at him? Disappointed? Does she miss him? Still love him?

3) Was Satoru searching for her specifically in the town they ran into each other? Or did they happen to just run into each other? I know he has and never would’ve stopped searching for his family but why was he there?

4) Will Y/N’s mom finally beat the shit out of him when he sees them again? That poor woman is probably TIRED OF HIS ASS 😭 I hope she slaps him so hard his mother feels it in her prison cell (i don’t condone violence 😌)

5) Is there a reason she hasn’t trusted Toji with any information? If there was someone she could trust with her and Yui’s safety surely it would be Toji. Maybe she just wasn’t thinking straight and fled before Satoru’s mom could do anything else

I have a million more questions but these are the only ones that come to mind, Kai ilysm and I hope you’re having a good day! TY for your time 🥹

HIII I'm more than happy to answer them !!

1. some tried courting yn but she's focused on working for Yui. and when she gets offered that they'll provide for them, she said she just wants to build herself. in reality, she just doesn't want to try at all. she's starting to feel a little hopeless abt it, esp. w how her mother raised her alone. she felt like no one would fully understand her. maybe when yui reaches legal age, but as long as she's under her care, she just can't afford to have someone who would demand as much attention as she Yui.

2. she's frustrated w him, but she tries to understand that he wasn't even there when it happened. to her, he's simply a son who desperately wanted to believe that his mother could get better after what she did to him. and yeah she's disappointed that he took so long to find them LMAO but she knows that it's bc they actually hid from everyone😭. she left no traces and made it almost impossible for him to find them easily. she definitely missed him🥺

3. he was just there bc he's stopping over :>

4. yn's mother has been wanting to pull all the hair out of satoru's scalp since the day she found out abt the kitchen fight LMAO she's a calm woman but satoru's got a talent for making her blood boil.

5. she fled out of fear, really. but she called toji after like a year. she knows he would've wanted to visit her there, and she just can't risk him being followed, so she told him when she thought things are finally calm. satoru's mother traumatized her and even yui.

anw dw, i had fun answering these, feel free to ask if anything comes to mind~, thank you so much for your support !! have a great week ahead <3

[softhairedhotch]

no, thank YOUUUU <3333 and it's okay HEHE remember to take it easy!!! 🫶 i can tell u for sure i will be here ready to absorb and consume n love anything that u create <3333 ive already read ur new fic Too Many Times . it struck sooo many chords like . I WOULD REALLY DO ALL THAT 😭😭 n ya fr there's too many good ideas out there to explore n there's only so much you can do at One moment. i personally have this long standing problem of starting sooo many things that i cannot finish bc i'm a master procastinator... so the only way i function is with looming deadlines ☠️ wish i was getting paid to just sit down n think about aaron bc man... i'd be a millionaire by now 🗿

TEHEEHHEE OMGGG PLEASEEE PHONE SEX . another big weakness of mine . idk how many times ive said smth is my weakness BUT like there's just some tropes that NEVER GETS OLD ... also sometimes i focus so much on aaron n how he makes you feel that i don't think about how HE would be so affected by everything about you GOSSHHHHHH please . like you're captivated by him but he's literally also soooo smitten and down bad for you to that he has to fight his urges to just give into anything that u want 😭😭 but unfortunately he can't always magically teleport to wherever you are so he just talks you through it and gives you such clear instructions BRRRR IMAGINE IF HE USES HIS WORK VOICE BC HE WANTS YOU TO LISTEN TO HIM EXACTLY STEP BY STEP . like my god i can't believe how i can giggle n kick my feet whenever cm has a scene of aaron giving instructions n delegating work to the team... like it's just so hot . n when he shows off his intelligence WOWOWWEEWW major turn on . n wooooof.

AND??!?$$;&; him sending pictures of himself 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️ also i love the idea of aaron being away from u but being soo pent up that he takes the initiative to surprise you with a special video of him jerking off or using a toy <333 and u BET he knows to send it with sound so you can hear all the sounds he's making <333 bc what is nut videos without SOUND 😤😤😤

omg.. i luv daddy kinks BRRRR n sometimes it just especially HITS SO HARD . like omfg got me actively looking for those daddy asmr porn audios 😭😭😭😵‍💫😵‍💫 sometimes it takes awhile to find a good one but when i strike gold... Wow . GODDD i know aaron would say such filthy things that are downright insulting n degrading... BUT HE DOES IT IN THE SOFT AFFECTIONATE VOICE sparkled with some praises... AGRGRHRHHH .

omg REALLLL he's SOOO the type to make you say what you want directly in words. he isn't going to budge if you're just whining n hoping he'd take the hint bc he himself also loves to hear such filthy things come out of your mouth <3333 "you know daddy really loves to give you whatever you want... but not if you don't use your words. come on, does your pretty little mouth only function as daddy's cocksleeve?" HARGRHRHEHEJE i am Dead . n STOPPPP ENCOURAGING MEEEE ure gna make the can of worms EXPLODE ABOUT ALL THE FILTHY THOUGHTS ABT AARON'S CUM PLSSSS (not actually complaining ! i am Egged)

also omg... TEEHEE... i will tell u more abt my lovely male oc soon!!!! omfg im SO EXCITED . bc i literally have never talked about it to anyone even though i've thought abt it in such detail LMFAOOOO its just hard out there to find someone who shares the same brain ... damn 😭 i'm really glad i happened to stumble across ur page n decided to send an ask <333 bc i rly enjoy talking to u too!!!!! <3

-🤲

you're so sweet bless <3 hehe i'm glad you liked my new fic!! and YEAH I GETCHA omg that used to be me, like i couldn't do stuff without deadlines, AND NOW I CAN'T EVEN DO THINGS WITH DEADLINES LMAO. sometimes i can, but if i set it myself then you best believe it ain't getting done. i procrastinate sooooo much it's painful. like i could sit here and write for most of the day because rn i currently do NOTHING ELSE in my life (rip, i'm working on it lol) but do i??? no!! i mean that's just a lot of effort innit lol, writing constantly sounds exhausting even tho it's all i wanna do

phone sex my beloved <3 and awwww yeahhh he'd be sooo so so in love with you and he'd wanna do anything and everything you ask :') but GOD YEAH him using his work voice?? all stern and professional and demanding?? goddd i need that so bad. and YESSS when he shows of his intelligence it's soooo hot, like that one scene where he does the maths and penelope goes "is this reid?" and he goes "what, you impressed?" YES I AM BABE I LOVE YOU SM

i loooooove the idea of his sending pics <333 that's why i love looking at nsfw stuff sm bc sometimes i strike GOLDDDDD and its like the most aaron pic ever and it makes me lose my mind. once i found one that was so him i fully forgot to breathe and was blushing like mad (this one i think!). it was... a lot LMFAO. but god god GOD him sending a video of him jerking off when on a case??? i need that soooo so so much. and yes FR there needs to be sound in nut videos. once was sent one from a guy WITHOUT SOUND like babe? dude? what are you doing? where's the fun in that? i mean it was hot don't get me wrong but i was like "buddy wheres the sound at 🤨" LMAOOO

YESS I KNEW YOU WOULD BE INTO DADDY KINKS LMFAOOOO. and omg real, they're sometimes so good and for what. or any video of someone with daddy vibes,, godddddd sometimes it just HITS FR. YESS HIS VOICE WOULD BE SO SWEET AND GENLTE AND LOVING BUT ALSO DOMINATING AND THE STUFF THAT COMES OUT OF HIS MOUTH IS SOOOO FILTHY N HOT

yessssssss he'd looove to hear you say what you need. "come on, little one, let daddy know what you want, hm? i need to hear you say how much you want my cock" and "you want me to ride you, sweetheart? want daddy to ride you until you can't cum anymore? hm? let me hear you say those words, baby, i need to hear you say it."

and yayyy i'm so excited to hear about your oc!! i can't WAIT it's gonna be soooo good i just kNOW IT. i'm also really glad you stumbled across my page too <33 thanks for sending me all these asks!!!!

[driedupeyeballs]

for the ask game!! 💯, 🖤, 🎮, or 🔱 for skye (yes i know as a half-mer they can swim... but is it like azul where they don't like doing so with people around or like the leeches where they're super chill about it???)

Yipppeee!!

💯-“ what are three random facts about your OC?”

Skye cannot stand sour food. They grew up eating Jamil’s cooking so they’re well acquainted with spice and love foods that would burn off most people’s tongues, but if anythings even slightly sour they won’t eat it. They also don’t like coffee, but other than that they’ll rlly eat anything. And I mean anything.

They have a cat! I mentioned that briefly but I’ll share the cat lore. When Skye was around 6 or 7 they saw a little kitten on the side of the road. They went to grab it bcuz they thought it was a mouse and wanted to eat it, but no longer wanted to eat it once discovering it isn’t a mouse. So they took it to Azul who freaked out bcuz this wasn’t long after the Guinea pig incident (more on that later), so he takes the cat to the vet and gets everything sorted then talks to Jamil about finding it a home, bcuz he’s anxious abt keeping it around w Skye. Skye then expresses that they want to keep the cat, so Jamil purposes they leave the cat with Treyjade for a few months to figure things out cuz they live nearby and already have animals. Azul agrees to this, so for abt 3 months of Skye begging to go to treyjades house and getting upset when they are denied permission to hold the kitten (they didn’t show interest in any of the other animals), Jamil and Azul decided it was probably fine, so they took the cat home. Her name is Mariana and she’s a Russian blue cat! She’s very much a lap cat but only for Skye, she will hiss and claw at anyone else who tries to pick her up lmao

And for the third fact, they became housewarden about a month into their time at nrc. Which is impressive by any standards, but not impressive enough, bcuz Shenzi (my younger kaliruggie kid who Skye despises), became Scarabia housewarden three days before Skye became Octavinelle housewarden. They initially didn’t wanna take the title super fast, but when Shenzi did, they got pissed and went for it. They’re still salty about this and will likely always be salty about this.

🖤 - “Has your OC killed or seriously wounded someone before? Have they broken someone’s heart and/or broken someone’s trust?”

God damn what a question- okay so idk if you’ve read my 2nd Skye post where I go more in detail abt their venom/hunting strategy but they do have some extremely powerful venom. No human/mer/beastman has ever been killed by it, tho a lot of animals have. Skye was very reckless as a child, a big difference from their collected and put-together appearance they hold. They bit everything as a kid, edible or not, and Jamil and Azul had their hands full trying to keep them from killing any animal they saw. I’d say the worst thing they ever killed was one of treyjade’s pet Guinea pigs when they were like 7-ish, but I don’t think they lost the trust of treyjade from that bcuz Jade being a mer himself and Trey being married to a mer/having mer kids understood some things couldn’t be helped. They’ve never fully envenomated a person as it stands, they bit Floyd once as a toddler cuz they were curious but he didn’t die or even get super hurt. He didn’t hold them for a while tho lmao

🎮- “what are three of your ocs favorite hobbies?”

Skye reads a lot, they were the kind of kid where you had to take their books away as punishment lmao, they’ll read anything and they’ll read it freakishly fast. They’re really good at board/video games but don’t really play them much outside of their club/with friends so I wouldn’t count that, so as for the other two- idk if tea counts as a hobby but I am counting it, they grew up very close with Jade, he’s always been their favorite uncle (the octatrio and their spouses + kids is a very tightly knit group they’re all family), so from a very young age Jade was teaching them a lot about tea, so into their high school years they experiment more with making tea blends and they have a huge tea collection in their dorm room (and an even bigger one at home). As for the last one- this may surprise you! So I’ve had this in some of their unpublished notes for a MINUTE, they do tarot cards! And they’re extremely good at it. This isn’t a lifelong hobby like the other two cuz no one in their family was ever into it, but they picked it up as a way to make money for the lounge like a true ashengrotto. their plan was to have a temporary psychic reading thing for Halloween, but they ended up getting weirdly interested in it and now they have at least 5 decks amongst all the tins of tea

🔱 - “can your OC swim? Does your OC enjoy swimming?”

Uhh yes and no? Well they can swim in both forms, Azul made sure of that after the incident with their brother (long story), but they really don’t like doing it in human form. They’re obviously great in their merform, idk if you’ve ever seen a video of a sea snake swim but it’s really cool so I’ll link one. But swimming with two legs instead of one long tail + without the security blanket of strong venom isn’t something they enjoy.

[otogariado]

barbie movie was kinda bad to be honest.

if you're super attached and sentimental abt this movie you might not wanna read this bc i don't really pull punches with this one. but here is my first impressions rant lmao. i might come back to it when i've collected my thoughts more and let it stew a little (and maybe see it a second time just by myself at home?)

the way the movie ended was really bad and it left a sour taste in my mouth (📌), but even from just earlier in the movie i already felt like smth was off. and i mean, it's not like i wasn't excited for it even if i tried to avoid a lot of the stuff to not overhype myself (and i usually like going in blind anyway). but even as the movie started i already got the feeling of, oh this is what kind of movie it's gonna be. and for the most part it proves that initial assumption right.

and by "this" i meant like.. a really shallow preachy "feminist" tone. y'know, those kinds of movies/shows that pretend like they're going to say something meaningful about a mature topic but they end up just being shallow and mostly filled with platitudes and such. it's just kinda weird cz i expected more. but it felt like the movie was just using every character as a direct mouthpiece to the audience, and it could still work i guess if they actually had something to say. i think the movie was kind of a mess. i don't know what kind of lesson i was supposed to take away from it at the end, especially when they just start word vomiting at you. at some parts of the movie i wanted to turn my brain off but i still paid attention in case it was gonna pick itself up but like, it really didn't.

i think the rest of the movie was ok. the cinematography was enjoyable still, but the writing was just. so shallow that i couldn't bring myself to fully say i had a blast watching it. it felt like it was more interested in going through a checklist/outline of feminist things to say without being interested in elaborating any of it. it felt like they had too much they wanted to talk about that it just felt scattershot; i feel like it would've had stronger writing if they had just picked a topic to focus on and spent more time with it. they had the chance to explore something more—heck, they had this pretty diverse cast, why exactly did it still need to be focused on "stereotypical barbie" if they really wanted to explore something else? plenty of movies have been successful with an ensemble cast... it wouldn't fix their issue of splitting themselves amongst multiple things they wanted to talk about, but it could help with the focus. maybe have one barbie deal with one topic or throughline then another barbie with another topic, etc. idk. i also found it weird to make a snarky comment about how "if the movie wanted to make a point about barbie not needing to be [conventionally pretty] then they shouldn't have cast margot robbie for this" and like?? you're right lmao. you don't get to be cheeky by saying "guess we were wrong about this one :9 shrug". if they weren't interested in addressing this issue then they shouldn't have just called attention to it in the first place. it just makes it worse. feels like saying "ha! you can't criticize us for this decision because we already did it first."

i also have a problem with the thing near the end of "how about normal barbie? barbie doesn't need to be extraordinary! why can't she just be a regular person?" umm. the point of barbie wasn't to make women feel like they should be extraordinary to be accepted?? the point of barbie is that anyone can BE barbie. you ARE barbie no matter what kind of path you choose. it's kinda like spider-man in a sense that, "anyone can be under the mask." ANYONE can be barbie. i feel like the movie made a strawman out of misconstruing the original intent behind the "empowerment" of barbie. the point of multiple versions of barbie and the different playsets and shit comes from the appeal that she can be ANYTHING you want her to be. who are you fighting against, movie?? that type of misogyny where women should excel otherwise they don't matter certainly exist in the real world but like, i feel like it's a bit disingenuous to pretend it's what the barbie franchise wanted to convey as well. (i am by no means a barbie toyline history expert so i'm open to be corrected on this.)

and the whole... storyline with ken/the kens?? like i get what they're trying to do, have "the boys get a taste of their own medicine", but it's just. It's Just Weird. what did they wanna accomplish with it? i feel like this movie suffers from a shallow understanding of how sexism and misogyny and toxic masculinity actually works... like "oh teehee what if men were the ones oppressed by women instead and women were the ones oppressing men?" but they didn't do anything interesting with it, they just switched sexes and that's it. it's still the same except you just switched the men and women label now. (and the movie has a very black and white view of sex and gender. but that's another point to discuss entirely.)

what makes it worse is that the kens rise to power because they craved more appreciation from the barbies, but then they get knocked down a peg by the barbies and they "lose" like they "deserve". like, what is THIS meant to convey if we try to use it as a parallel for real world feminism, if kens = RL women and barbies = RL men?? that women shouldn't demand to be seen and appreciated more by men and that if they try to take on equal footing and power they should get pushed back down the hierarchy or something??? like WHAT??? and even if you could argue that the kens lost because of their egos/pride/toxic masculinity, it still feels off. because yes, there is a certain "masculine brand" of being too prideful but like. anyone is susceptible to getting too egotistical for their own good. idk??? the way they just handle it is so messy. it's not even like, ambiguous in the "open for interpretation, there are multiple readings of this possible that all try to say something different" kinda way. it's ambiguous in the messy, "we don't know what we wanna say" kind of way.

another thing i wanna talk abt is the teenager character. and the mom character too. i feel like they could've done more with them tbh. they hardly feel like actual characters—the mom got more than her daughter, but the daughter is so stereotypically rebellious "i hate feminine stuff" teenager. so much of this movie feels like telling instead of showing. the mom feels undervalued and depressed and she's struggling. yeah, but so what? we don't actually SEE any of that. even if you can argue that the movie tries to tackle stiff happening IRL so it doesn't need to show any of that any more, that's just bull. you still have to establish the setting in your movie's universe and you still have to do actual character work for your characters even if they're meant to represent real people. ESPECIALLY if they're meant to represent real people. like yeah, we do get some flashbacks of her daughter not appreciating her near the start, but that's it. they're just flashes. and that wasn't her only problem that she mentioned. why didn't we have the mom try to pitch ideas to the executives early on, have that be her introduction scene? have the executives belittle her ideas bc they're misogynistic chauvinist asses? like yeah, from context clues of the whole boardroom being men we can see the irony there and we can tell they don't value women enough to give them positions that high up the ladder. but still, implying the lack of something is not as good as actually demonstrating the lack of something. i feel like it wouldn't have been that hard to include at least one scene of the mom pitching her ideas, and then cut to her scribbling sadly on the desk like she was when she was introduced cz they didn't listen to her.

the sentiment of "they hardly feel like actual characters" extends to the rest of the cast, too. like, i wouldn't expect something substantial and be disappointed if they weren't marketing themselves like "all barbies are important :) this is an ensemble movie :)" like no... not really. none of the other characters matter that much and they didn't get a lot of actual distinguishing features aside from their actual job titles. which just feels reductive lmao. maybe that's the point. maybe they're all just meant to be bit characters. but it just adds to the shallowness of the movie i feel like. just bc the point is they're bit characters doesn't give it a free pass for not going anywhere w any of them. i saw someone say they felt like all the other barbies and kens were mostly just there as set dressing and you know what? that's undeniably true. which AGAIN i maybe wouldn't have as much of a problem with if it weren't for how they marketed this movie.

the previous paragraph also ties into what i mentioned earlier abt the quip they had abt casting margot robbie (and by extension, ryan gosling) as the lead(s). like... why did the lead HAVE to be the "stereotypical barbie"? why did the white, blonde, presumably cishet* barbie (and ken) HAVE to be the leads? hell, the mom and daughter characters are women of color and they don't even do anything with them (aside from some jokes abt how the white dad sucks and is very inconsequential?). i'm just saying... it feels like the diversity casting (not just when it comes to being people of color but also in other areas, like having a barbie in a wheelchair and a pregnant "barbie" (even though she's not barbie) and whatnot) of the other barbies and kens was just that. Token Diversity. fodder for The Typical White Leads. idk. i'll say this again but if they didn't advertise themselves the way they did with all those barbie and ken posters making it sound like they were actually gonna give a shit about any of the other colorful cast of characters then maybe i wouldn't be this harsh with them. this didn't feel like an ensemble movie to me at all.

*(bc i don't think this movie was made with any genuine queer intentions behind it lmao. and ik people latch onto the aroace "coding" of the characters and like. if you're aroace and you like it then power to you. but i think this is more of a "technicality"/"by semantics" type of """coding""" so i honestly don't think it counts, speaking as someone who's some flavour of aroace)

idk i feel like I'M word vomiting now too. maybe i'm picking on this movie too much. but tbh it's just. eh. it just feels shallow. it's a shallow nothing movie tbh. it just feels like a movie filled with quips without any interest in exploring any of the topics they bring up. i wanna list specific examples but tbh it's hard to remember them because of just how overloaded it is, like they just keep shooting talking points at you but there's no meat to any of them. i wouldn't be this harsh on this movie if it didn't hype itself up so much. like, i WANTED to like it coming it. i WAS excited for it ever since it was announced, even though i wasn't a super fan and wasn't buzzing about it as much as most people were online. because it had a lot of potential behind it, but it ended up just. being a mess.

📌 i think it's funny that the ending (as in the last scene of the movie) left most people confused, but the most interesting thing abt it is the takeaway i got from my cis mlm cousin where he's like, "oh barbie chose to be a mother at the end and she's pregnant and that's why she ended up at the gynecologist". like. I Guess??? that can be your take??? but it's a weird scene to end your movie on.

like idk what i'm supposed to feel about it. she's a real human now because she has genitalia?? the genitalia was the last crowning step for her to achieve the "human" status? that's kind of reductive. she's a real woman now because she has a vagina?? that's just straight up transphobic. like. what am i supposed to get as my takeaway here with the last scene??