#idk if thats a new development or not
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just had a bug in my bonnet about kiddo papyrus haha. probably wont go anywhere with this but it’s a fun idea.
#f[art]s#sans#sans undertale#frisk#papyrus#papyrus undertale#de-aging#papyrus gets deaged into a babybones ... somehow#sans is thinking ''oh no i barely survived this the first time''#papyrus is thinking ''WELL YOU CERTAINLY HAVE NOT HIT YOUR GROWTH SPURT YET#PLEASE TELL ME I AM NOT STAYING THIS SHORT FOREVER''#oh also flowey is there#flowey pot#idk if thats a new development or not#i thought very seriously about also just resurrecting chara as well#just#dump ALL the children onto sans
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sure it was a perfect storm of a pressure cooker but i promise destiel was about destiel
#like 2020 was all building towards something. the isolation the pandemic the general uncertainty of day to day life#toss in the heated election and counting process. sure it *couldve* been anything else. but it *wasnt*.#it was destiel. that night there were even other rumours circulating about other shows. another show even had a huge reveal!#but the most widespread and known was destiel because of course it was! because thats what everyone was losing their mind over!#look at the statistics chart of a history of destiel interest over time! i promise the destiel interest is about destiel!#were people all equally invested? no! were some people memeing? yes! but by and large nov 5th became a juggernaut bc of destiel#as someone who literally was refreshing for election news and developed mania from seeing destiel go canon. it was about destiel#sure the intersection of destiel and election results was fun. but i posted way more destiel than election stuff. cause it was about destie#anyway. idk why im on a soapbox#char speaks#destielputinelection#destiel
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tdov was like a week ago already but I just wanna say when I came over to vacation slash help my sworn brother move flat he told me, "ever since you said you wanted to get top surgery I've been thinking about it. it's straight up number two on my bucket list"
#bakuspeech#number one is a house bc obviously. if u can own a house wouldnt u#he was very drunk at that time of the evening. I was not bc I have the constitution of a hot air balloon and any stimulant will blow me up#(relatively new development. france fucked me up big time turns out)#we held hand on his bed for like the whole evening. it was honestly very funny in hindsight but we were extremely earnest in the moment#and Im like. working on this thing as well. I dont got meds or therapy lmao Im bootstrappin here#but yeah early last year his bf offered to get me meds and I... turned it down... I think I was worried abt like. idk. something#but one year past looking back Im fully like that was a stupid move you shouldve gotten meds. youve once again fucked urself baku#but yeah with that kinda realization Ive also come to realized I've somewhat? accepted. that I'm just gonna be. like this#this in light of a number of likely chronic stuff too (hence my balloon-like constitution lmao) and#that's kinda bled into the rest of me without me really noticing#but him bringing that up fully unprompted... kinda jolted me out of it#its just. really incredibly sweet. that someone doesn't want me to settle for what I make do with#and like. preps for that work. just kinda held my hand and told me it's possible to do this actually#I didn't really express how I felt very well in that moment I think my brain is very bad and I process emotions with like a day of delay#but. well. Im thinking abt it Right Now. so yknow thats the kind of impact that had on me lol#not super sure why I wrote all this down here really. I think I just want a good n nice reminder that object permanence is real#and I exist in my friends' life even when Im going insane in a hole by myself#and with the power of friendship we can alter the universe's plan for ourselves and also kill god#that's that. anyways I eat lunch now and then pass out probably. last night was... eventful lmao#but!! very good things on the horizon hopefully. well manifestly we hold hammers and we use them#have a good day lads. let's go out and slay monsters under a highway
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ik ive not been active at all anyways sort of explanation/me complaining in tags
#i have gotten progressively worse lately in terms of physical health and its just taken a lot out of me tbh#over the past few months ive developed chronic pain and fatigue drs still arent sure if its fibromyalgia or chronic fatigue but whatev#in any case ive been in tremendous pain everywhere it's not been fun at all#i also have this new thing where i get a tremor if i hold things too hard and while it is relatively painless it still is making life harde#esp since i am an art student so im kind of stuck not rly knowing what to do atp#ive just not been in the best mindset and while i recognise that disability is not ugly in any way i do just feel harder to love now#like i dont think my personality is fun enough to make up for all this idk if that makes any real sense#ive also been temporarily put on birth control its a long story but it's only until i get scheduled for a minor surgery most probably#but yanno birth control has unfun side effects and i feel like im going crazy most days#ik this all probably sounds pretty silly but idk. its been hard to feel genuinely attractive lately.#forgot to add this but there was some other stuff that happened thats definitely effecting just my self image and libido and stuff lately#long story short someone i trusted ended up crossing multiple physical boundaries and passed uncomfortable comments abt me and similar shit#its not been fun to deal with in any way yk?
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guys i have fish tanks 🥺
i'm gonna fill em up and then just spend forever looking at them and listening to the soundtrack forever
#talk about a happy place#idk why im so in love with the fishing aspects of games#thats like 90% of what i do in red dead too lmao#plus it's funny when arthur says ''you sir are a fish''#anyways im gonna be totally normal about this new development in my gaming experience#skyrim#the elder scrolls#tes v#my post
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anyways i am feeling kinda brave today so im gonna share a potentially unpopular taylor swift hot take. when i was talking to my friend yesterday about ttpd i realised that i kinda have a similar problem with the anthology as i do with evermore.
like don't get me wrong, both have absolute gems (willow, tolerate it, long story short, gold rush and NBNC from evermore are great and i love the albatross, so high school, the prophecy black dog, manuscript etc) but i think both collections (bc anthology is not an album) suffer because they came out connected to a much superior more cohesive work, and both almost feel like rejects from the body of work that proceeded it.
#actually like i said to my beloved mutual “thanK you aIMee” kinda feels like she woke up one day and went “fuck you kim actually”#which i can kinda relate to in a way bc the amount of times i randomly go “fuck you”#but my mutual said if there were more songs about being screwed over by people that could be a storyline. but theres not. its just there#like its a great song but also i kinda went “we are covering this ground again”#if there were new developments in the relationship i could kinda understand it#like how she wrote innocent and then backtracked that with rep bc things happened#but idk the anthology just feels like scraps she deemed good enough for release but in my opinion needed editing#the stupid ass 1830s lyric highlights this bc i get what shes trying to say but she worded it so badly#that i kinda see why its being clowned on#also imgonnagetyouback... yehahahahah liv did it better. now it feels like a done concept. im shocked she included it#she knew it was coming come on#anyways the anthology while good kinda felt unfinished#she should have given it a few more months and polished it#bc holy hell at least folkmore felt polished#even though evermore is cohesively weaker#my friend who is a folkmore swiftie kinda also feels like this fyi so dont come at me screaming “burn 1989 rep midnights stan!”#burn me idc#and while im at it both are in my bottom three only right above debut#tldr: both collections are tied to another work thats just so much better and cohesive#this is just me saying i cant get into anthology hahaha#and i felt weird bc everyone liked it but when my friend a literal folklore girl said “no im not feeling it” i felt better#bc so many people were saying it was better and those swifties were going 'all of us' and i kinda went... no i prefer standard#i love taylor sm and i love og ttpd its currently no 5 but the anthology has issues and one of them is similar to why i rank evermore lowl#i just went off on a tangent about the issues with the anthology and its songwriting and lack of narrative#i will say so i win you all over i loved the evermore set at eras i thought it was so beautifully done#taylor swift#ttpd: anthology#evermore
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Can my dnd character PLEASE stop evading every attempt at me trying to either develop her backstory or just anything
#the duck quacks#primrose i love you but girlie. you have got so little going on for a 1 year character STOP REFUSING TO LET ME GIVE YOU ANY NEW INFO#i always get blocked when i want to do something with her kglfdkgfd. my DM is asking what direction i wanna take her and like! i want to do#something! its just idk anything. our campaign was built for a oneshot and this character was also very much built for that. like she just#had a couple notes for playing (like 1-3 personality traits) and thats it hhhh. as the campaign got longer i thought id try to figure it ou#but! brain said no sadge#mmmight ask my dm if i can switch characters but idk. its been a year jgfkdgfd. someone else switched a bit ago tho so i might do the same?#idk. ill probably end up with th e same problem of sketching out a very basic character and not developing them JGKLFDJG#and i dont wanna play most of my premade characters bc theyre like a tad too complicated to introduce? that might just me being nervous#about playing them idk. roleplaying is harddddd and our dnd sessions are like super late for me so i never have the energy to focus on stay#ing in character#idk im jsut screaming into the void aaaaaaaa
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i am so obnoxious over bg3 but like. privately. bcs i'm still urgehafsjsh over how astarion is literally everything to me now and i really adore him but hi: i haven't played bg3. anyway. half-elf + bard maybe!
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#sorry. sorry. sorry to be so annoying but ASTARION.....#mr neil did so good voicing him all lines HIT. not a single bad one. oh man#i adore astarion's character from the outermost layers to the innermost i love his development and all the different scenes your choices#can lead to. how different he can be. how dramatic he can be how sarcastic how soft he can be. astarion.#wtf the obsession kicked in late...#bcs okay i learned of bg3 just. around tumblr. and what got me finally the Nudge to get into it was THE NEWS OF THE BEAR ASTARION THING#LMFAO and then i was like Oh Yeah hm maybe astarion will be my favorite (insert my thoughts here)#and then i learned more abt baldur's gate only Then and then got obsessed whooo but very normal#and sometime there my twin also got interested and whooo normally obsessed w bg/3/astarion and then got insanely obsessed#and here i was a few days ago or last week. normal. then all of a sudden i GOT... obsessed.......#astarion has consumed my every waking moment and i'm also in lov w the other characters. gale... karlach... shadowheart... etc...#and astarion has easily become one of my most favorite characters. which is not surprising at ALL#when you consider . every general factor of my favorite characters#+ how the story of how i came to like him is a STORY INDEED to tell ..... and how i got spoiled a bit too on some stuff but thats ok w me...#and my circumstances w my favorite games are real funny (for a lack of a better word) too i realize. oh man.#anyway. astarion. i adore him#it's unfair too i'm in my hozier era fully rn so. brain consumed#me listening to all of hoziers three albums (i adore hozier) and associating so many songs w astarion :/ like work song#idk. astarion reaaaaaally deserves hugs and love and and and i adore him
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noo dont fall for the man w an aphex twin sticker on his [redacted] car from 2000
#he was a music major and works in education now and has a background in behavior therapy#im sick#im not stupid anymore ik everything i feel is just novelty and liking attention from someone new who also is into u bc of the novelty. YK#I get how it works nowwwe#Idk sometimes i feel insecure no one will love me bc im not in a good place in life rn like im not good enough#and then i also have really high standards or am particular and can get put off easily bc im trying to avoid being hurt so#i pull away first and get distant first and i also have a hard time truly developing feelings for some1 or being emotionally vulnerable#👍#ur just attracted to him and hes into u and u have some shared interests thats it 🙄👍
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anyone else watching the latest of the crown?
#anyone else going crazyyy from it …#idk apparently critics haven’t liked it but i actually love it#it’s much more understated than the other installments but i guess i just love it the more for that#also (unpopular opinion) despite the performances and chemistry being great and important and compelling of the first set of actors#as charles and diana… i kind of enjoy watching the second on screen more ?#idk if it’s that sense of development or that i just find relationships in that stage of life#and the relationship btwn ex partners more interesting#but damn they’re believable#and i just got to the opening scene where they hear news of her death and broke my fucking heart#i keep thinking of that last scene they had together before their last in the series of recriminations#where she describes herself as the runner up#and god it’s just perfect writing and character work for anyone that knows this story#bcus you KNOW there were very few at the time that would’ve thought of Diana as the ‘runner up’#but even tho it’s cheeky it’s authentic. she means it and feels it and that’s why it’s so poignant .#*sad… bcus she LOVES his ass. truly. despite everything#*thats why their whole thing is so fucking sad .#he also loves her too. she’s just not the love of his life .
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yay yay yay im homeeeee im so glad to be back in my apartment. staying with my family is tough and the house is bad too and then on top of it my brother and dad caught covid. so im very glad to be home and get to chill alone until i go to my partners house on new years eve for a party 🥳🎉
#as long as i dont develop symptoms of course. and i just let them know about it in case they would prefer i not come#cause of the risk of transmission.#my family was going to drive me back on the 31st but i was really not comfortable with the whole thing#staying with sick people then immediately going to a party is just not okay. this way i can isolate for 2 days to watch for symptoms#in other news i need to call the internet provider for my apt to get them to fix my ethernet port#i brought my desktop back w me#im so excited about it!!!! also idk if i mentioned it but i got a drawing tablet for xmas too :0 !!!!#its like another monitor thats a touchscreen and its wonderful. infinitely better than my old screenless drawing pad#glub glub
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i finally sold my old tablet that i didnt use anymore and got 85€ for it so guess who has money to get armored core now. hehe
#yes yes i know what ive said about fromsoft games in the past but listen#i eventually settled into trying out sekiro and it was instant love it just clicked for me and i was honestly having the time of my life#until i got to ashina castle and my pc#that doesnt have working gpu drivers cause windows decided to install the generic ones over my good amd ones (i cant fix it ive tried)#just couldnt handle the new area or something idk#i started getting massive frame drops that made the game almost unplayable#and then the controller i use on my pc got a Lot of drift literally overnight#so yeah trying to do the genichiro fight with an average of 20 fps and stick drift wasnt fun at all#i did do the miniboss thats on the well from the start of the game and a few attemps on the seven spears guy#but at that point the drift was just too bad and i had tried a new fix for the drivers thing#and when i attempted genichiro again the game just crashed#so yeah#i Could play sekiro on the xbox but im not paying for a 4 year old game that got its price hiked#and runs at 900p and 30 fps on a new gen console cause the developers refuse to patch it <3#ill pirate again once i get a new pc sometime next year#Anyways all of this was to say i do sort of get fromsoft games now and ac looks fucking incredible#and it has a pause screen just like sekiro which is a must for me cause i enjoy being able to go pee without having to hide first
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Yaaay my thoughts part 11(its been a long time)
Yknow before the fuhua using the star of eden scene in honkais chapter 33. I feel like the fact that Fuhuas just generally very profiecent of using different types of weapons and divine keys was a mostly disregarded(could be strong word to use but its what came to mind first) fact. Which, I totally see why something like that is so easily disregarded. Because fuhua doesn’t really show off that profiency commonly in the story(other than the xuanyuan sword and as of more recently the star of eden).
we mostly get that implication through senti, because senti is living off of fuhuas experiences and profiencys. Obviously with her memories senti is as proficent with weapons. I understand how martial arts is a important part of her character, I just wish hyv would show off huas ability with other weapons(i’d love to see fuhua wielding a scythe or a gun!!)
another thing is, like as much as I know hyv is obviously going to give us smth tieing up the loose ends with fuhua. But god, they are leaving so many threads loose on her that its just kinda frustrating me at this point.
then like the thing in chapter 33 with her garuda form. Narratively hyv has implied fuhua doesn’t have a good honkai profiency currently and that it could intertwine into why fuhua only stayed in her garuda form for less than 3 minutes. We don’t know WHY fuhuas honkai profiency is so bad(Note here: I think honkai profiency is ones ability/level of skill to manipulate honkai energy) my guess and this is just a theory. Is because fuhua doesn’t have enough experience in her current memories, to be as proficent as she was before. Senti has all the memories and therefore she is 100x more proficent than fuhua at manipulating honkai energy. Thats why its something that cannot be physically trained to fix. Its fuhuas biggest roadblock and i’d love to see how hyv resolves it.
to end off todays thoughts, and spoilers for chapter 34, it has blessed me greatly. If you don’t know, basically I think it was explained how senti and fuhua had a minor role reversal. Sentis now a feather and fuhuas the owner of the body and not just a dying soul in a body requiring honkai energy to live. Like thats how they are living seperately now, so I believe if senti dies fuhua will not by that logic(could be wrong).
I can finally rebuttal people in the honkai chat who are spurting death allegations with recent story info god bless🙏🙏
but thank you for tonights thought spurt, see you again when I generate some more
#fu hua#honkai spoilers#honkai impact#can you tell who my favorite character is?#*looks to the 10 other posts abt my long talks abt fuhua and how I dig back and reread the chapters that focus on her development*#Idk guys I think its kiana#guys help I can’t focus on the new open world. My attention span is a goldfishes if there is no mention or appearance from my fav#the only way hyv is making me play a open world again is if its a fuhua arc#The neuron in my head activates and I suddenly start paying close attention to every little detail thats there
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looking at pics of myself from a year ago makes me so sad lol
#🗞️#the cissona was real .......#but like. you can be trapped in a cissona but you can make the cissona gay. somehow ive straightened myself out to a point of where+#my new friends seeing those pictures of me r like thats not u that person is literally straighter than me (i dont have many queer friends-_#& im like. 😬😬hahaaa.......#i wanted to say idk why i even trapped myself like that but i was literally helplessly in love with a straight dude#to whom i was just the other woman#& i wanted him to just bear my existence bc we didnt click at all. so i wanted to be as attractive as possible to him.#STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#and also my inner monologue looked like. i know i could be happier but id rather be a fraud and attractive than true to myself & ugly. girl#me 2021-2022 get help......... what even is that mentality.............#anyway now im better i think. its a recent development i literally stopped going after straight guys at the end of may. so.#then i read stone butch blues and now here we are. very confused but at the end of the day. the cissona is gone#if im being honest im scared ill bump into that guy bc of whom i developed this severe of a cissona bc although its been a year since#we havent seen each other. im still so down bad. we havent talked in a year and a half💀#and ill put on the cissona again#ahnywayz hope you all are having a good night
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bro you cannot keep reminding me itll be 20fucking23 in a little over a day i’m still stuck in 2020. idont feel a day over 16
#skye's ramblings#calling myself an adult still feels so wrong. lockdowns and dropping out of highschool deprived me of like. crucial development i think#i dont think im ever gonna grow up properly and im already treated like a kid for daring to exist with autism. i am just sitting here#im 16 and i'll be 19 in 5 months and im being SO brave abt it#but enough about that!!!!!!!!!!! because im also thinking abt how pretty soon i'll have known some of you guys for 3 years#which is wild to me. my online friendships before tumblr never lasted but i've made some of my best friends here#nice that we can go forever without talking and i can still look at you n go HEY thats my best friend as if we talk every day#new years resolution or some shit is to reach out more. i've gotta get more comfortable just talking to my friends when i want to#ive been too lonely recently. i miss my friends' servers but theyre almost all dead/gone i gotta get more comfortable talking one on one#idk. all in all i this this new year is bittersweet. but i think i'll be okay
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.
#every relationship between any two people is so special and unique and its just so . agh !#everyone is a little broken and all we can do is start by building shaky bridges and try our best to cross them carefully....#in any capacity. it doesnt matter the context or extent of the relationship#even just like. my old stats partner who i meet up with sometimes to do hw with.#thats a very casual relationship but still one that can be improved and strengthened#by which i dont mean eventually maybe we could be actual close friends i just mean like. how could we be better hw partners to each other#and thats one of the fundamentals of life and of team development#((its this boy. you know when someone tells you smth new abt them and youre like ah. right. we are all broken and continually healing.))#((all we can do is cautiously build up shaky bridges and walk back and forth across them and thats all there is. i remember now))#anyhow goodnight#(((i definitely misstepped w him but i am well intentioned and now i know and i will try and do better next time. and thats all there is)))#(((but we did some good bridge building today. more than i was expecting. i think by accident. idk what will happen next. but)))#(((the world is strange like that.)))
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